Tapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT

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I have been tapping for close to 20 years. From the very beginning I have struggled with the set-up phrase from Gary Craig's EFT basic recipe.

Gary engorged us to start every round of tapping my tapping on the side of our hands, saying "Even though I have this issue I deeply and completely accept myself". As EFT spread the phrase evolved into "Even though I have this issue I deeply and completely love and accept myself" for many.

My issue has never been with the idea behind the phrase. I love the healing principle acceptance and how it is a useful tool in transformation.

My struggle has been with its placement in the healing process.

As valuable as acceptance is, it can be emotionally hard to start with the idea of accepting yourself, especially when you are in emotional distress.

After trying to wrap my head around why the set-up phrase didn't work for me for the last twenty years, I now have clarity about my struggle.

This week in the podcast I explore what I have learned about my own healing journey and its relationship to the set-up.

It doesn't matter if you love or hate the set-up phrase, this conversation is going to make acceptance during healing something that is easy to achieve.

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One of the most common questions I get is whether you can use tapping for sleep. The short answer is yes. But there is an important caveat that changes everything about how you approach it.

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TL;DR / Key Takeaways * Poor sleep is a symptom, not a standalone issue. Effective tapping for sleep means identifying and addressing the specific causes driving your sleeplessness, not just tapping on sleep itself. * The frustration and disappointment you feel about not sleeping create a biochemical cycle in your body that makes sleep even harder. Tapping on those emotions, done during the day, breaks that cycle before bedtime arrives. * Your subconscious mind may have hidden reasons to keep you from sleeping well. A counterintuitive but important question to tap on is: what goes wrong in my life if I do sleep well? * Wordless tapping, which means tapping through the acupressure points without focusing on any specific issue, is the only tapping I recommend doing close to bedtime. It helps the body process cortisol and adrenaline without escalating emotional intensity. * Sleep improvement is not all-or-nothing. Going from four hours to six hours of restful sleep is a genuine victory that improves your next day in measurable ways.

Why Tapping for Sleep Is More Complicated Than It Sounds Tapping can improve your sleep, but only when you recognize that poor sleep is a symptom rather than the issue itself. This distinction changes everything about how you approach your tapping practice.

I learned this firsthand on a Thanksgiving night when I was staying at my sister's house and woke up with a severe headache. I had no access to medication, so I tried tapping for the pain. It worked. Not only did the pain ease, but I fell back to sleep and slept deeply for the rest of the night. The tapping was not about sleep at all. It addressed the physical pain that was blocking sleep. The sleep improved as a consequence.

That experience planted a principle I have used in my practice ever since. When someone comes to me struggling to sleep, we never just tap on sleep. We look at what is actually getting in the way.

Poor sleep can have many causes: the worry you are carrying about tomorrow, memories that surface when you lie down in the dark, the temperature in your room, what you ate for dinner, or the emotional weight you have been dragging through your day. Each of those causes requires its own tapping work. Tapping on "sleep" as a generic target skips past all of that.

Sleep Problems Are a Symptom, Not the Real Issue Key insight: "Sleeping is not one issue. Not sleeping very well is a consequence, and it can be a consequence of lots of things, but it's a symptom."

This framing matters because it reorients where you direct your tapping energy. If you only tap on the surface symptom, you may get temporary relief. But if you tap on the underlying causes, you create lasting change.

The consequences of poor sleep also extend well beyond one bad night. A headache might knock out 90 minutes of productive time. A bad night of sleep cascades through your entire next day, affecting your mood, your focus, your patience, and your physical health. The stakes are high, which is exactly why a surface-level approach is not enough.

Once you accept that sleep is downstream of other issues, you open up a whole landscape of things worth tapping on. Understanding how to find root causes is one of the most valuable skills you can develop as a tapper, and sleep is one of the clearest places that skill pays off.

Step 1: Tap on the Emotions You Have About Not Sleeping Tapping on the emotions surrounding your sleep problem is the first and most important place to start. This is not the same as tapping on sleep itself. This is tapping on how you feel about the sleep you are not getting.

Ask yourself: am I frustrated? Sad? Angry that my coworker bounces in energized every morning while I can barely get through the day? Do I feel like my body is letting me down? Every one of those emotions has a biochemical expression in your body.

Key insight: "Every single one of those emotions creates a biochemical response in your body, which makes it harder for you to sleep."

Here is the vicious cycle that creates. You feel frustrated about your sleep. That frustration is present as you get into bed. The frustration makes it harder to fall asleep. You sleep worse. Tomorrow night you bring even more frustration to bed with you. The pattern tightens.

Tapping in the late afternoon, away from bedtime, is the way to interrupt this cycle. Make a list of the emotions connected to your sleep struggles and give yourself 10 to 15 minutes to tap on them. You do not have to solve anything in one session. You are chipping away, and each session reduces the emotional charge you bring to the bedroom. For more on this approach, see tapping for the emotions that prevent healing.

Do this step away from bedtime. All three of the first steps in this process are daytime practices, specifically so you are not activating emotional charge right before you try to sleep.

Step 2: Ask What Goes Wrong If You Do Sleep Well This step sounds strange at first, but it addresses one of the most overlooked causes of chronic sleep problems. The question to sit with is: what is the hidden downside of sleeping well?

Before you dismiss this, consider how subconscious logic actually works. Imagine this chain of thought playing out below conscious awareness: if I sleep well, I will be sharper at work. If I am sharper, I will perform better. If I perform better, they will expect more from me. More expectations mean more pressure. And pressure feels unsafe.

Key insight: "To your conscious mind, that feels like an absolutely silly chain of thought. But on a subconscious level, 100%, that is what can be going on."

This is what practitioners sometimes call secondary gain. Part of your nervous system is keeping you from sleeping because sleep feels, in some indirect way, dangerous or costly. Once your subconscious has decided that sleeping well creates a problem, it will work to prevent sleep, no matter how much your conscious mind wants rest.

Tap on whatever comes up when you ask this question honestly. It might be about work demands. It might be about what happens in your body or your relationships when you have energy. It might be about a fear of what you will actually do with your life when you feel good. This kind of hidden resistance is worth exploring in depth. The episode Pod #562: What goes wrong if I am successful? – Finding Root Causes (Part 4) covers exactly this kind of subconscious obstacle in detail.

Again, do this step during the day.

Step 3: Tap on the Real Consequences of Poor Sleep The third step asks a different question: what goes wrong when you do not sleep well? You already know the answer. You live it. But naming the consequences explicitly and tapping on them adds another layer of relief.

This step is not about catastrophizing. It is about acknowledging the full weight of what poor sleep costs you, including your mood, your relationships, your work, your health, and your sense of self. When those consequences are sitting in your body as unprocessed emotion, they become part of the cloud of anxiety that makes it harder to fall asleep in the first place.

Tapping on the consequences creates a kind of emotional spaciousness around the issue. You are saying: I see what this is costing me, and I am not going to let that awareness add to the problem. You are processing, not suppressing.

Like Steps 1 and 2, this belongs in your daytime tapping practice, not your bedtime routine.

Step 4: Wordless Tapping in the 90 Minutes Before Bed Wordless tapping is the only tapping I recommend doing close to bedtime. It is the one exception to the daytime rule, and the reason comes down to how tapping interacts with emotional intensity.

When you tap on a specific issue, particularly a charged one, the emotional intensity often rises before it resolves. That is a normal and healthy part of the process. But rising emotional intensity right before you try to sleep is counterproductive. You want your nervous system moving toward calm, not activation.

Wordless tapping, also called content-free tapping, means moving through the standard acupressure tapping points without focusing on any issue, and without saying any words or phrases. You are not trying to solve anything. You are simply giving your nervous system a gentle, repetitive input that helps it process stress chemistry out of the body.

Key insight: "When we tap, we process cortisol, we process adrenaline out of the body."

Here is the specific practice I use. Starting 90 minutes before my target bedtime, I set a silent vibrating timer to go off every 15 minutes. When it vibrates, I do 90 seconds of wordless tapping, moving from point to point. That is roughly five or six complete rounds. Then I go back to whatever I was doing until the timer goes off again.

By the time I get into bed, my system has had four gentle rounds of cortisol-clearing work over the course of 90 minutes. I am not wired. I have not stirred up anything emotional. I have just been quietly helping my nervous system downshift.

For a much deeper look at how and why wordless tapping works, including eight specific contexts where it is especially useful, see Pod #622: Eight ways to use content-free tapping.

Why Tapping for Sleep Is Not All-or-Nothing One of the most important mindset shifts in tapping for sleep is letting go of the idea that you need to go from broken to perfect overnight. Sleep improvement works on a spectrum, and every step along that spectrum matters.

I know the difference between four hours of sleep and six hours of sleep in my body. I know the difference between restless sleep and genuinely restful sleep. Those differences are not small. An extra two hours of quality sleep changes how I think, how I feel, how I treat the people around me, and what I am capable of doing in a day.

If you approach tapping for sleep expecting immediate, total resolution, you will miss the real wins. You will tap for a week, notice you are sleeping slightly better, and decide it is not working. But slightly better sleep, sustained over time, compounds into significantly better health.

Start with the four steps above. They will not solve every aspect of your sleep in one go, because everyone's root causes are different. But they will create real, noticeable movement. And when you have a foundation of slightly better sleep, you have more resources to go deeper.

For those who want to go significantly deeper, I have a two-hour masterclass that covers tapping for sleep across seven distinct layers. It goes well beyond what a single podcast episode can cover and is designed to help you build a comprehensive tapping practice around your specific sleep patterns. You can find it at tappingqanda.com/sleep.

If you are not sure how to identify the emotions involved in your sleep struggles, this episode on tapping when you can't put your finger on exactly what you're feeling is a useful companion.

Frequently Asked Questions About Tapping for Sleep Can tapping actually help you fall asleep faster? Yes, tapping can help you fall asleep faster, but not by targeting sleep directly. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) works best for sleep when it addresses the specific emotions, worries, or subconscious patterns that are keeping you awake. Wordless tapping in the hour or two before bed also helps the body clear cortisol and adrenaline, making it physiologically easier to fall asleep.

What is wordless tapping and why is it better to use near bedtime? Wordless tapping means moving through the acupressure tapping points without focusing on any specific issue or using any words or phrases. It is better near bedtime because issue-focused tapping can raise emotional intensity before it resolves, which is counterproductive when you are trying to calm your nervous system for sleep. Wordless tapping produces a calming effect without the risk of emotional activation.

How long should I tap before bed to improve my sleep? A practical pre-sleep protocol is to tap wordlessly for 90 seconds every 15 minutes during the 90 minutes before bed. That gives you four short sessions of gentle nervous system support without disrupting your evening. Deeper issue-based tapping, which addresses the emotional root causes of your sleep problems, should be done during the day, not close to bedtime.

Why do I keep waking up at night even when I fall asleep easily? Waking up during the night is often connected to unresolved stress, worry, or emotional charge that surfaces when your conscious mind quiets down. Tapping during the day on the specific worries or emotions connected to your sleep pattern, including frustration about waking up, is the most effective approach. The tapping is not aimed at the waking itself but at whatever is underneath it.

What is secondary gain in the context of sleep problems? Secondary gain refers to the hidden subconscious benefit of staying stuck in a problem. In sleep, it means part of you may be unconsciously avoiding restful sleep because of what sleeping well might lead to, such as higher expectations at work, more demands on your time, or unfamiliar levels of energy and alertness. Tapping on the question "what goes wrong if I sleep well?" can surface and clear these hidden obstacles.

How is tapping for sleep different from other sleep techniques like meditation or sleep hygiene? Standard sleep hygiene practices (consistent schedules, limiting screens, cool room temperature) address the environment around sleep. Meditation works with the busy mind. EFT tapping addresses the emotional and subconscious layer: the frustration about not sleeping, the hidden resistance to sleeping well, and the stress chemistry in the body. These approaches are complementary, not competing.

Do I need to know exactly why I cannot sleep in order to tap effectively? No. You can tap on the emotions you feel about your sleep problems even if you do not understand their root cause. Starting with "I feel frustrated that I cannot sleep" is enough. Tapping itself often helps clarify what is underneath, and the four-step process in this post is designed to work even before you have full insight into your sleep patterns.

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Tapping is a powerful tool for grounding ourselves and to help us to refocus. The problem is, that grounding and focus only lasts so long.

Before I start on something challenging, a few minutes of wordless tapping ensures I bring my best to the task. But if the task is difficult or it isn't going as planned, frustration makes itself known.

Usually it starts as a slow simmer in the background that then grows to the point where it's difficult to focus and function well.

It makes sense to tap when this happens, but usually we don't reach for tapping until our focus is completely lost.

It doesn't have to be this way! There is a simple process I use to keep from getting to this place. Instead, it is an easy way to sprinkle tapping in throughout the day to prevent frustration from getting the better of you. The tapping reminder is automatic.

This week in the podcast, I share with you the exact way I tap when doing tasks that are mentally and emotionally testing to ensure I can do my best work.

Listen to learn this process and implement it right away, tailored to your own particular working style.

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Some days you just feel off. Not sad about anything specific, not anxious about anything specific, just heavy, distracted, or grumpy for no reason you can name. If you have ever wondered whether tapping when you feel off actually works when you cannot pinpoint a cause, the answer is yes, and there is a specific order that makes it work well.

TL;DR / Key Takeaways Tapping when you feel off does not require knowing the root cause of the feeling before you start. A four step sequence, wordless tapping, witness tapping, tapping on not knowing why, and tapping on not needing to know why to heal, addresses the emotion directly. Wordless tapping, also called content free tapping, changes your body's biochemistry through the tapping points without naming an issue. Witness tapping works because fully articulated emotions are short lived, meaning simply describing what you feel out loud often reduces its intensity. Three rounds of tapping (three to five taps per point) takes about 45 seconds, making this practical to use anywhere.

Why Do I Feel Off Without Knowing Why? Feeling emotionally off without a clear trigger happens because emotions are stored in the body as biochemistry, not just as conscious thoughts you can trace back to a cause. In my 17 years of working with clients and my own daily tapping practice, this is one of the most common situations people bring to me. It shows up as heaviness, distraction, low mood, or a general sense that everything feels harder than it should. This is closely related to tapping for vague emotions you cannot clearly identify, where the challenge is not the tapping itself but naming what you are actually feeling.

The instinct in these moments is to stop and figure out why before doing anything about it. That instinct is understandable, but it is also the thing that keeps people stuck longest. You do not need to diagnose the cause before you can start changing how you feel.

This is exactly the situation the four step process below is built for. It works whether you eventually understand the reason behind the emotion or you never do.

What Is Wordless Tapping (Content Free Tapping)? Wordless tapping is a technique where you tap through the acupressure points without speaking, without naming an issue, and without trying to identify a root cause. The technical term for this is content free intervention.

Key insight: "By stimulating these tapping points on our body, we're actually able to start changing our biochemistry. That emotion you're feeling, that heaviness, that overwhelm, is the biochemistry of that emotion."

Because the emotion itself is biochemical, you do not need words or insight to begin shifting it. You are working directly with the physical layer of the feeling, moving from tapping point to tapping point while whatever is going on continues to run in the background.

This matters for anyone new to tapping for anxiety, low mood, or unexplained heaviness, because it removes the barrier of needing the right words or the right insight before you are allowed to start. If you want more ways to use content free tapping beyond this single situation, there are several other applications worth exploring.

Step 1: Start With Wordless Tapping to Shift Your Biochemistry The first step in this process is to tap through the points silently for three to five rounds without naming what you are feeling. This changes your biochemical state before you attempt anything else.

A simple way to do this is to set a timer, or to commit to three rounds of tapping, using three to five taps on each point as you move from point to point. Three rounds takes about 45 seconds. Four rounds takes about a minute. There is no issue to identify and no phrase to repeat, which makes this the easiest entry point into a tapping session when you feel off. This same principle shows up in releasing a hidden tapping agenda, where letting go of the need to control the outcome of a session tends to produce better results.

Starting here also lowers the pressure of the moment. You are not required to understand anything yet. You are simply giving your nervous system a chance to settle before you move into naming what is happening, which is the focus of step two.

Step 2: Use Witness Tapping to Name What You're Feeling Witness tapping means describing exactly what you are experiencing in the moment, without analysis or judgment, the same way an eyewitness describes only what they directly observed.

Key insight: "Fully articulated emotions are short lived. Our emotions are just trying to get our attention, and oftentimes simply giving them voice is enough to start tuning them down."

In practice, this sounds like tapping while saying something as simple as, I feel really grumpy, and it is heavy in my body, and I do not know why I feel grumpy. You are not explaining the emotion or justifying it. You are only witnessing it, the way a witness in court reports what they saw without interpreting it. It is worth knowing that most of us are a fairly unreliable witness to our own experience, which is exactly why simply reporting the feeling, rather than analyzing it, works better than trying to get the story perfectly right.

This step often does two things at once. First, naming the feeling out loud tends to reduce its intensity almost immediately. Second, new information sometimes surfaces on its own, such as realizing a canceled plan was actually weighing on you more than you had noticed. That insight is a welcome bonus, not a requirement for the process to work.

Step 3: Tap on the Fact That It's Okay Not to Know Why The third step is to tap directly on the discomfort of not having an explanation, acknowledging that it is okay not to know why you feel this way.

This step targets a specific emotion that hides underneath the original feeling, which is the frustration or disappointment of not having a root cause. Something like, even though I do not know why I feel this way, I give myself permission to simply acknowledge it, addresses that layer directly.

Tapping on this usually produces relief almost immediately, because you are no longer fighting the fact that you cannot explain your own emotional state. And as with step two, sometimes tapping on the frustration of not knowing clears space for new insight to surface, though it is not guaranteed and is not the point.

Step 4: Tap on Not Needing to Know Why in Order to Heal The fourth step is to tap on the idea that you do not need to know why you feel this way in order to heal from it or move through it.

Key insight: "It is possible for me to heal, to transform, to release all of this without having to know why I am this way."

This step is subtly different from step three. Step three addresses the desire for knowledge and understanding. Step four addresses the fear that not having that knowledge will block your healing. Separating these two ideas rather than tapping on them as one statement creates more clarity, because you are releasing two distinct beliefs rather than one blended one.

In my own practice, I find this is the step that gives people the most permission to stop searching for an explanation and simply let the tapping work. You can always revisit the reason later if it becomes relevant. It does not need to arrive on any particular schedule.

Do You Need to Find the Root Cause for Tapping When You Feel Off? No, you do not need to identify a root cause before tapping when you feel off can help you feel better. The four step process above is designed to work with or without that information.

Sometimes tapping through these four steps will surface the underlying reason for a mood, like realizing a disappointment you had not consciously registered. Other times you will simply feel better without ever knowing exactly why you felt off in the first place. Both outcomes are considered a success with this approach.

This distinction matters because many people delay tapping until they feel they have figured themselves out first. Waiting for full understanding before taking action is one of the most common reasons people stay stuck in a low mood longer than necessary, a point explored further in why you don't need to know why you are the way you are.

How to Put the Four Steps Together in Your Own Practice The complete sequence is wordless tapping, witness tapping, tapping on it being okay not to know why, and tapping on not needing to know why in order to heal.

You can move through all four steps in a single sitting, typically in just a few minutes total. Start with three rounds of silent tapping, move into witnessing what you feel out loud, then tap on the two reframes in steps three and four. There is no requirement to rush toward insight at any point in the sequence.

If you are new to tapping altogether, a free guide with video and written instructions is available at LearnToTap.com. If you already have some tapping experience and want to go deeper with a related struggle, a ten part guide on using tapping to work through self sabotage is available at TappingQnA.com.

Frequently Asked Questions What is wordless tapping in EFT? Wordless tapping, also called content free tapping, is tapping through the acupressure points without speaking or naming an issue. It works by shifting your body's biochemistry directly, which is useful when you feel off but cannot identify a specific cause.

Why does naming an emotion out loud make it feel less intense? Fully articulated emotions tend to be short lived because emotions are signals meant to get your attention. Once you give a feeling clear voice through witness tapping, the signal has been received and often begins to settle on its own.

Do I have to know why I feel bad before tapping will work? No. This four step process is built specifically for situations where you do not know the cause of your mood. You can tap on the feeling itself, and understanding may or may not arrive along the way.

How long does a round of tapping take? Three rounds of tapping, using three to five taps per point, takes about 45 seconds. Four rounds takes about a minute, which makes this practical to fit into a busy day.

What is witness tapping? Witness tapping is describing exactly what you are feeling in the moment, without analysis or judgment, similar to how an eyewitness reports only what they directly observed.

When should I use this four step process instead of tapping on a specific issue? Use this process when you feel an emotion, such as heaviness, distraction, or a low mood, but cannot trace it to a specific event or thought. If you already know exactly what you are upset about, you can tap directly on that issue instead.

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When I sit down to tap, the first question I ask myself is "What is the goal of this round of tapping?"

This serves as a powerful framing device by bringing focus to the tapping session and how to approach our issue. The essentials of tapping remain the same, but there is a big difference between tapping for a limiting belief, physical pain, or feeling overwhelmed in the moment.

This is a great approach except when you don't know exactly what you need to be tapping on.

Recently, I sat down to tap and I felt so mentally depleted that I couldn't focus enough to tap.

This week in the podcast, I share the five-step process I used at that moment. It helped me to find my focus and also helped me manage the rest of my day.

Even if you aren't so exhausted you can't focus, this process is a great way to start any tapping session. I know you are going to love it.

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One of the great things about tapping is that it can be used for a wide range of physical, emotional, and even spiritual issues.

But that breadth brings with it the struggle of knowing where to start when there are so many things that you could tap on.

Recently, I received this email from one of my readers:

I've been tapping on and off for years. Recently, when tapping, I am quickly lost in a quagmire of thoughts and emotions and can't see a direction to go in. I have been wallowing in something vague and exhausting for the past month, and am wondering if there is anything I can do.

This struggle is common because we aren't just feeling one thing at any given moment. We are thinking and feeling countless things about what is happening in our lives right now, struggles from our past, and worries about the future.

Without a clear entry point, our tapping feels unfocused. We worry that we're just wasting our time, which in turn makes us less likely to tap.

This week in the podcast, I share what I do when I am feeling so many things I don't know where to start. It is a simple approach that every tapper should know.

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There is nothing more frustrating than knowing exactly what to do and still not doing it.

When this happens, your critical voice kicks in, shaming you for being lazy and undeserving of transformation because of your lack of action.

The hardest part of this type of failure is knowing what is possible but failing to take action. And it isn't down to external forces preventing you…it is all happening inside your head.

This week in the podcast, I explore the five most common reasons you don't tap, even when you want to. As well as providing a breakdown of what is standing in your way, I show you a handy process to overcome each of these resistances.

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Our subconscious mind confuses the difference between how we were treated and who we are. When someone left us off an invitation, we did not just file away the fact that we were not invited. We wrote a story about what it meant. They don't like me. I'm not interesting enough. I'm stupid.

Over time the circumstance fades, but the story stays. It stops being a conclusion and starts feeling like a plain truth about who we are.

That is what makes these identities so hard to tap on. Trying to tap on "I am stupid" when it feels like a fact is a little like trying to tap to change the color of your eyes.

In this week's episode I walk through the process I use to pull these stories apart so they become tappable again.

This is a slightly more comprehensive process than what I normally teach. It is something to sit with, and to come back to over several days, because these identities sit at our core and tend to take more than one pass to unseat. It is important work because changing the story changes how you carry yourself, not just how you feel in the moment.

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A client came to me recently and said something I hear more often than you might expect: "Gene, I've been trying to tap on my own, but this problem just feels too big. I don't know where to start." My answer surprised her. I told her she was right. The problem actually was too big to tap on. But that wasn't a verdict on whether tapping could help. It was a diagnosis of the approach she was using.

Tapping for big problems is not about finding the courage to tackle everything at once. It is about knowing which small, specific piece to bring into a single round of tapping.

TL;DR / Key Takeaways * When a problem feels too big to tap on, the issue is not tapping's effectiveness. The issue is trying to address too much in a single session. * EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) works best on one specific, concrete target at a time. Large life challenges require a series of focused rounds, not one heroic attempt. * Tapping on the emotions about the problem (frustration, worry, disappointment) before targeting the problem itself clears the emotional distortion that makes the issue feel overwhelming. * Identifying the smallest possible next action and tapping on resistance to that one step creates forward momentum faster than any other approach. * Giving yourself permission to value incremental progress is itself a legitimate tapping target, and often the one that unlocks everything else.

Why Big Problems Feel Impossible to Tap On (And the Real Fix) Tapping for big problems feels impossible when you try to hold the entire problem in your mind at once. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a technique that involves tapping on specific acupressure points on the face and body while focusing on a precise emotional or physical target. The key word is precise. The more diffuse your focus, the less effective the round.

Key insight: "The question is never whether tapping is appropriate for what's in front of you. The question is: how do you bring tapping to a part of the issue in a useful way?"

Think about the kinds of problems that feel too big: a serious health diagnosis, a major career transition, building a romantic relationship from a standing start. Each of these is not one problem. Each is a cluster of dozens of smaller problems stacked on top of each other. Trying to tap on "my health situation" is like trying to eat an entire meal in one swallow.

The five steps below give you a reliable way to find the right-sized bite for any given session, no matter how large the underlying issue is.

Why Tapping for Big Problems Starts With Your Emotions First Before you tap on any aspect of the problem itself, tap on how you feel about the fact that you are facing this problem. This is one of the most overlooked moves in EFT practice, and it changes everything about what comes next.

In my Tapping Mastery Blueprint, every single tapping session starts with two questions. First: what is the goal of this round of tapping? Second: how do I feel about the fact that this is the issue at hand? That second question is where most people skip straight past something important.

Key insight: "The emotions about the issue are layers of stained glass I'm trying to look through. They distort the issue so I can't see it clearly. Clear those layers first, and the problem comes into focus."

When you are dealing with something large, you are almost certainly carrying feelings of worry, frustration, disappointment, and grief about the situation itself. Those emotions are not the same as the problem. They are your emotional response to having the problem. Tapping on them first changes your resource state. It shifts you out of reactivity and into a clearer, calmer place from which you can make better decisions about what to tap on next.

Write down every emotion you feel about the fact that you are facing this particular challenge. Then take those emotions one at a time and tap on them before doing anything else. For a deeper look at this concept, the episode on "the emotion about the issue" from the Healing Fundamentals series is worth your time.

Step 2: Name a Baby Step and Tap on Your Resistance to It Once you have tapped on the emotions about the issue, shift your attention away from the full problem entirely. Instead, ask yourself: what is the single smallest next action I could take?

That step might be genuinely tiny. Write down all the open questions I have. Research this one thing. Send a message to this specific person. It does not need to be significant. It just needs to be real and concrete.

Key insight: "I don't know how to handle the big thing, but I almost always know the first step. After I take the first step, the second step becomes obvious. And after the second, the third."

Once you have named the baby step, tune in to whatever emotion comes up around taking it. Resistance, dread, uncertainty, fear of getting it wrong. That emotional resistance is your tapping target, not the step itself. When you clear the resistance, taking the step becomes easy. And taking the step creates momentum, which is exactly what large problems require.

This approach addresses one of the most common reasons people stay stuck: they cannot see the whole path forward, so they do not move at all. But you do not need to see the whole path. You only need to see the next step. Clearing the emotional resistance to action is one of tapping's most reliable strengths.

Step 3: Pick One Small Detail Instead of the Whole Problem If the baby-step approach does not give you a clear entry point, try zooming in on a single detail of the larger issue instead. Not the situation. Not the whole health challenge or the whole relationship pattern. One detail.

A few years ago I was dealing with Epstein-Barr virus, which is similar to mononucleosis in its effects. I was completely wiped out. I would feel a flicker of energy and sit up in bed, and my body would immediately shut it down. I had to lie back down. There were dozens of things wrong, physically and emotionally, and I could have tried to tap on all of them at once.

Instead, I chose one detail: that specific feeling when the energy appeared and immediately vanished. Just that. The emotion that came up around that one physical experience became my tapping target.

Key insight: "By choosing one microscopic detail, I gave myself an entry point. I wasn't trying to solve everything. I was just working on this one thing."

Trying to address the entire problem at once produces a familiar spiral: "I'm falling behind, this is lasting forever, nothing I'm doing is working." That is too big a target. One detail breaks the spiral and gives your nervous system something it can actually process. If you find yourself drowning in too many issues to tap on, this single-detail approach is often the fastest way back to solid ground.

Step 4: Tap on the Overwhelm of Having a Problem This Big This step might feel redundant at first glance. You have already tapped on the emotions about the issue in Step 1. What is left? The answer is: the overwhelm of the problem's size, which is a separate layer entirely.

Tapping for overwhelm means giving voice specifically to the experience of facing something that feels unmanageable. Not what the problem is, but what it is like to be the person carrying it.

Typical targets for this step sound like: "This problem is unfair and I am exhausted by it." "I do not even know where to start and that makes me feel paralyzed." "I cannot do this alone." "I am overwhelmed just thinking about all the steps between here and done."

This is what I sometimes call tapping on the meta-emotion. It is the feeling about the feeling, or more precisely, the feeling about the situation's complexity. In my experience, the missing key to tapping for overwhelm is almost always this layer: people address the content of what overwhelms them but skip past the raw experience of being overwhelmed itself.

Spend a few minutes here. It does not take long, and the relief it produces makes the remaining steps significantly easier.

Step 5: Give Yourself Permission to Value Small Daily Progress The final step is one that beginners often dismiss as too soft. It is not. Giving yourself permission to recognize the value of incremental work is a legitimate tapping target, and for many people it is the one that unlocks consistent action.

The tapping here is not affirmation work. You are not trying to convince yourself that everything is fine or that you are doing great. You are tapping to release the part of you that insists the only acceptable outcome is solving the whole thing today.

A useful setup statement for this step sounds something like: "Even though I've only made a tiny bit of progress today, I give myself permission to recognize that a baby step forward is still a step forward."

Notice what comes up when you tap with that frame. You may find frustration: "I give myself permission to value baby steps, AND I give myself permission to be annoyed that it's always a process." Both are valid. Acknowledge the resistance alongside the permission. That is where the real tapping work happens.

The myth of the one big tapping breakthrough is worth reading alongside this step. Real transformation is nearly always a series of small shifts, not a single dramatic moment.

How to Use All Five Steps in a Single Tapping Session When you are facing a problem that feels too big to tap on, run through the five steps in order. You do not need to spend equal time on each one. Some will feel complete in a single round. Others may need more attention.

Here is the sequence as a quick reference:

Tap on the emotions about the issue. How do you feel about the fact that you are facing this problem? Worry, frustration, grief, shame, disappointment. Take them one at a time.
Name a baby step and tap on your resistance to it. What is the smallest possible next action? What emotion comes up when you think about taking it?
Pick one small detail and tap on the emotion around it. Not the whole problem. One aspect, one symptom, one interaction, one specific moment.
Tap on the overwhelm of the problem's size. Give voice to how it feels to be carrying something this big. This is separate from the problem's content.
Tap for permission to value incremental progress. Release the demand that today's work has to solve everything. A baby step counts.

Before you start any session on a large issue, it helps to ask the two questions from my Tapping Mastery Blueprint: what is the goal of this round of tapping, and how do I feel about the fact that this is the issue? Both questions from the one question you must ask before every tapping session apply directly here.

The old cliche is true: how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. And if you take one bite at a time with your tapping practice, you will be surprised how quickly you start to build real momentum on even the largest challenges in your life.

If you want structured, daily support for building that momentum, I'd encourage you to explore 365 Tapping Lessons, where I walk you through a full year of focused tapping sessions designed to create exactly this kind of consistent, cumulative progress.

Frequently Asked Questions What does it mean when a problem feels too big to tap on? It usually means you are trying to address the entire issue in a single tapping session. EFT works best on one specific, concrete emotional target at a time. A problem that "feels too big" is a signal to narrow your focus, not to stop tapping.

Where should I start when I don't know where to start tapping? Start with the emotions you feel about having the problem, not the problem itself. Write down every emotion that comes up when you think about your situation (frustration, worry, grief, shame) and tap on those one at a time before targeting the problem's content.

How many rounds of tapping does it take to work through a big problem? There is no fixed number. Large issues typically require many focused sessions over time rather than one long session. The goal of each session is not to solve the problem but to reduce the emotional intensity around one specific aspect of it.

Can EFT really help with serious health challenges or major life changes? Yes, though the approach matters enormously. EFT does not resolve health conditions by tapping on "my illness." It works by targeting specific emotions, fears, symptoms, or resistance points one at a time. Over multiple sessions, this produces genuine cumulative relief.

What is "the emotion about the issue" in EFT? It is the emotional response you have to having the problem, as distinct from the problem itself. If you have a health issue, the emotions about the issue include fear of the long-term consequences, grief over what you have lost, and frustration at the pace of healing. Tapping on these first clears the distortion that makes the underlying problem harder to see and address.

What if I tap on the baby step but feel nothing? Try making the step even smaller, or tune in to the emotion more precisely. "I need to make a doctor's appointment" might produce nothing. "I feel a knot in my stomach when I think about calling the doctor" is a specific, tappable sensation. The more concrete the target, the more tapping tends to produce a clear shift.

Is it normal to feel more overwhelmed after starting to tap on a big problem? Yes, and it is often a sign the tapping is working. Bringing a suppressed emotion to the surface before clearing it can briefly intensify the feeling. If it persists, use Step 4 directly: tap specifically on the overwhelm of having a problem this big, rather than on the problem's content.

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I love that tapping can be done independently of other people. You can use self-guided tapping, a tapping resource, like tap-along videos, or tapping scripts.

Since tapping is something you can do on your own, it is logical to ask "If I can tap on my own, why would I work with a practitioner?"

This is a more complicated question that it might seem at first glance. This is a question about skill, approach, and safety.

In this week's podcast, I share how I think about healing and how outside resources and assistance fit into my healing journey.

Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support

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Tapping for fear and anxiety was my own entry point into EFT almost 20 years ago, when I was struggling with social anxiety. In this post I want to walk you through exactly how I use tapping to right-size fear and anxiety so they stop running the show. The method is simple, it works in the moment, and you can use it the next time worry shows up.

TL;DR / Key Takeaways * Tapping for fear and anxiety is a process of right-sizing the feeling, not eliminating it, so your alarm system stays accurate instead of overactive. * Anxiety is about a threat in the present moment, while fear is about a threat in the future, and naming which one you are facing changes how you approach it. * The core method is three rounds of wordless tapping to calm the nervous system, followed by four questions answered out loud while you tap. * The four questions are: What could go wrong? What proof do I have? How likely is it? What would I tell a friend? * Success means the feeling becomes proportionate to the actual threat, so you can either engage safely with what is in front of you or stay present despite worry about the future.

Why Fear and Anxiety Are Not the Enemy Fear and anxiety are not malfunctions; they are your internal guidance system pointing you toward danger so you can stay safe. Every emotion you feel carries specific information about your situation. Frustration signals that a need or desire is not being met. Anger signals that you perceive an attack. Fear and anxiety signal danger.

When you understand the information an emotion is carrying, you can respond to it instead of just reacting. That is the whole foundation of using EFT for anxiety effectively.

Key insight: "For every single emotion you have, it is your internal guidance system giving you information to navigate the world."

The mistake most people make is treating fear and anxiety as enemies to be silenced. They are not. They are messengers. The work is not to fire the messenger but to make sure the message is accurate.

What Is the Difference Between Fear and Anxiety? Anxiety is about a threat happening in the present moment, while fear is about a threat located in the future. People often use the words interchangeably, and you do not have to adopt my definitions for the process to work. But making this distinction sharpens how you approach the problem.

The reason the distinction matters is that you respond differently to something in your immediate proximity than to something that may happen later. If a threat is right here, you need to handle the thing in front of you. If a threat is in the future, you need to settle yourself so you can stay present now.

Key insight: "Anxiety is about the thing that is happening in this particular moment, where fear is about the thing that is in the future."

The tapping itself looks identical for both. What changes is the target. Naming whether you are dealing with worry about an uncertain future or a present-moment stressor tells you what you are actually solving for.

What Does Success Look Like When Tapping for Anxiety? Success is making the feeling proportionate to the actual threat, not switching it off entirely. Before you tap, it helps to define what a good outcome looks like, because that definition is different for anxiety than it is for fear.

When I am anxious, success means the anxiety turns down enough that I can safely engage with the thing in front of me. When I am afraid, success means I turn down the fear of a future event enough to be fully present to what is happening right now.

So when I solve the problem of anxiety, I am dealing with the thing I am anxious about. When I solve the problem of fear, I am turning down a future worry so it stops stealing my attention from the present. Defining success this way keeps you honest. You are not chasing a numb, fearless state. You are aiming for a feeling that fits the facts.

Why Start With Three Rounds of Wordless Tapping? Start with three rounds of wordless tapping because it downregulates your nervous system and clears your head before you dissect the problem. Wordless tapping simply means moving from each tapping point to the next, tapping six or seven times on each point, without saying anything.

Just tapping on the points creates a release and a little bit of calm. That matters because in a moment you are going to start examining the fear and anxiety, and the clearer-headed you are, the easier that examination becomes. The less you are crippled by the feeling, the more successfully you can work with it.

Key insight: "The clearer-headed we are as we step into that, the less crippled we are by the fear and the anxiety, the easier it's going to be for us to do that in a really successful way."

Do not rush this part. Take nice, easy, deep breaths as you move from point to point. Three slow rounds is enough to settle your system so the four questions land properly. If you want more on this calming-first approach, it pairs well with work on nervous system regulation.

The Four Questions to Ask While Tapping for Fear and Anxiety The four questions, answered out loud while you tap, walk you from catastrophizing to a right-sized response. After your three rounds of wordless tapping, you keep moving from point to point and answer each question comprehensively and aloud. By doing this, you are writing the perfect tapping script for the moment in real time.

Here are the four questions, in order:

What could go wrong? Catastrophize on purpose. Name the worst thing that could happen and narrate it out loud. When I tapped on my social anxiety, mine was that I would say something, someone would think I was stupid, and they would scream at me until I ran and hid.
What proof do I have that this could go wrong? Sometimes there is proof, and often there is not. When I examined my social anxiety, I had counter proof: even when I said something silly, people just corrected me or rolled their eyes. This right-sizes the response emotionally.
What is the likelihood it will go wrong like this? Something can be possible without being probable. Naming the actual likelihood shrinks the threat down to its true size.
What would you tell a friend with this problem? We are very good at giving others advice we cannot hear ourselves. Shifting into that voice unlocks perspective you already have.

Key insight: "By answering these four questions, you are writing the perfect tapping script for the moment."

Answer all four out loud while tapping and you will be surprised how much safer and more comfortable you feel. This four-question approach is a cousin of the simple in-the-moment methods I teach for recognizing and managing stress quickly.

Possibility vs. Probability: Right-Sizing the Threat A threat being possible does not make it probable, and separating the two is what shrinks fear back to a useful size. This is the heart of why the four questions work. Your alarm system tends to treat every possibility as if it were a certainty, and that is what makes fear and anxiety feel so big.

Consider my own examples. There is a possibility I could get stuck between two subway stations in New York, but in almost 15 years of living here it has only happened three times. I could be afraid of flying, yet I performed full-time for 25 years and flew millions of miles across the U.S. and Canada without a single incident. Possible, but not probable.

Right-sizing does not mean removing the safety mechanism. I have no realistic fear of being attacked by a lion in my Brooklyn neighborhood, even with zoos in Central Park and the Bronx nearby. Tapping that fear down does not mean I will climb into the lion enclosure for a cuddle. It means I can walk my neighborhood, and even visit the zoo, knowing I am safe, while still respecting the fence. We keep the protective function and discard the distortion.

How to Get Started Tapping for Fear and Anxiety Today To start tapping for fear and anxiety, identify whether your feeling is about the present or the future, then run three rounds of wordless tapping followed by the four questions. The whole process can take just a few minutes and requires nothing but your hands and a little honesty.

Here is the sequence in full:

Notice the feeling and name whether it is anxiety (present) or fear (future).
Tap three slow, wordless rounds, six or seven taps per point, breathing deeply.
Answer out loud while tapping: What could go wrong?
Answer out loud: What proof do I have it will go wrong?
Answer out loud: How likely is it to go wrong like this?
Answer out loud: What would I tell a friend facing this?

The aim is always proportion, not numbness. You are not eliminating fear and anxiety; you are making them well-informed so they protect you without paralyzing you. If you want to keep building this skill day by day, my 365 Tapping Lessons program gives you a short, guided tapping practice for every day of the year.

Frequently Asked Questions What is the difference between fear and anxiety in tapping? In this approach, anxiety is about a threat in the present moment and fear is about a threat in the future. The tapping looks the same, but naming which one you face tells you whether you are working to engage safely now or to stay present despite future worry.

Does tapping work for anxiety? Tapping helps turn anxiety down to a proportionate level so you can safely engage with whatever is in front of you. In my experience over nearly 20 years, the goal is not to erase anxiety but to make it accurate, so it informs you without overwhelming you.

What are the four questions to ask when tapping for fear? The four questions, answered out loud while tapping, are: What could go wrong? What proof do I have that it could go wrong? How likely is it to go wrong like this? What would I tell a friend with this problem?

What is wordless tapping and why do it first? Wordless tapping means moving from point to point, tapping six or seven times on each, without speaking. Doing three rounds first downregulates your nervous system and clears your head, which makes the four-question process far more effective.

How do I stop catastrophizing about the future? Catastrophize on purpose first by naming the worst case out loud, then ask what proof you actually have and how likely it really is. Separating what is possible from what is probable shrinks the imagined threat back to its true size.

Is the goal of tapping to get rid of fear completely? No. The goal is to make fear proportionate and well-informed, not to eliminate it. Fear is a safety mechanism, so the work is keeping its protective function while discarding the distortion that makes it disproportionate.

Can I use this tapping process for any worry? Yes. The same three rounds of wordless tapping and the same four questions work whether the worry is about a present situation or a future event. You simply aim the process at the specific thing you are anxious or afraid about.

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One of the most difficult times to tap is when you have had a major emotional backslide.

You are tapping daily and feeling the breakthroughs during your sessions. You can see positive change happening in your daily life.

AND then, out of nowhere, you have a crappy day. The progress you have made seems to evaporate overnight and even the smallest things are driving you crazy.

Part of you wants to throw in the towel because it all feels like a giant waste of your time and energy.

This is a super common experience during a healing journey. Listen to this week's podcast to hear me explain:

Why these backslides happen
What they are trying to communicate with you
How to regain your momentum

If you are in the process of long term healing, this conversation is a must.

Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support

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How long does tapping take to work? It's one of the most common questions I get, and the answer is the most unsatisfying one in coaching: it depends. In this post I'll show you why that's actually the most useful answer I can give you, and how to use it.

TL;DR: How Long Tapping Takes to Work * How long tapping takes to work depends on the issue you're tapping on and how you define success. A 90-second round can shift a present-moment frustration, while a 35-year-old limiting belief usually takes repeated sessions over time. * Happiness equals outcome divided by expectation. The same result feels like a miracle or a failure depending on what you expected walking in. * You can measure tapping success three ways: frequency (how often the issue shows up), duration (how long it sticks with you), and intensity (how strong it feels). Improvement in any one of the three is a real win. * The goal of tapping is to make it better, not to make it perfect. Better is often enough to change the rest of your day.

Why "How Long Does Tapping Take to Work?" Is the Wrong Question How long tapping takes to work is the wrong question because it assumes there's one answer that applies to every issue and every person. There isn't. The better question is: what does one step better look like right now?

Years ago I had a one-on-one session with a friend whose husband had been telling her for months that she needed to tap with me. I don't think she really wanted to be there. I think she wanted him to stop bringing it up. There was natural resistance at the start of the session, but within fifteen minutes we had surfaced a deep, specific issue and tapped through a round on it.

At the end of that round, she was disappointed. Not because nothing had happened. She was disappointed because the issue wasn't completely healed yet. In fifteen minutes she had moved from resistant to disappointed because the work wasn't fast enough.

That's the trap built into the question. We're asking how long until the issue is gone, when the more useful question is how much better do I feel right now than I felt three minutes ago.

Happiness Equals Outcome Divided by Expectation Happiness equals outcome divided by expectation. The way you respond to any result is determined less by the result itself and more by what you expected walking in.

Imagine I tell you at the end of the day that I got six things done. Was that a good day or a bad day? It depends. If I sat down this morning wanting to get eight things done, I'm disappointed. If I sat down wanting to get four things done, I'm doing backflips on my way out of the office. Same six things. Completely different experience.

The same dynamic shows up every time we use a transformational tool. If you expect a single round of tapping to permanently resolve a long-standing issue, almost any real result will feel like a failure. If you expect tapping to make the next ten minutes a little easier, the same result feels like a win. This is why unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage your tapping progress even when the work itself is going well.

Key Insight: "Happiness is outcome divided by expectation. The way I respond to something is based on how I expect it to work out."

Why No Two Tapping Issues Heal at the Same Rate No two tapping issues heal at the same rate, even when they look identical on the surface. The tool is the same. The timeline almost never is.

There's a real difference between me being frustrated in this moment and not wanting to be frustrated, and me dealing with a limiting belief I've carried for the last 35 years. The toolset is exactly the same. The rate at which those two things shift will be completely different.

The same is true even when the symptom is identical. I can have pain in my right shoulder because I slept on it wrong, and I can have pain in my right shoulder because I was in a car accident and tore a muscle. Same pain, same location, same intensity on a 0 to 10 scale. The cause is different, so the time it takes to resolve is different.

Every time you sit down to tap, recognize this: the goal is to make it better. Not to make it perfect, not to make it gone, but to make it better. That's a frame I keep coming back to with clients, and it's the same spirit behind tapping to embrace progress, not perfection.

The Costa Rica Story: When Better Looks Like Failure Almost 20 years ago, brand new to tapping, I was in a coffee shop in Costa Rica when four other Americans walked in and sat down nearby. I struck up a conversation and one of them mentioned he had just tweaked his shoulder zip-lining through the jungle.

I was at the stage of my tapping life where I was running everyone I met over with my enthusiasm. So I said, "Let me show you this amazing thing." I had him tap through Gary Craig's basic EFT recipe. Before we started I asked him, 0 to 10, how big is the pain? He said six. We tapped. I asked again. He said four.

In my head, my immediate reaction was: it failed. He and his three friends, on the other hand, said, "Whoa, that's amazing." Because it was. Ninety seconds of tapping had taken a third of his pain away on his subjective measure. He had more movement in his shoulder. The rest of his day was going to be better.

My expectation was healed. He experienced better. That's the gap this whole post is trying to close.

Key Insight: "When I'm tapping, I live in the ERs. Not the emergency room. Better, easier, gentler, calmer."

The Three Measures of Tapping Success: Frequency, Duration, Intensity There are three ways to measure whether tapping is working: frequency, duration, and intensity. Any one of them moving in the right direction counts as real progress. I learned this framework from my friend Mary Ayers, and it has changed how I evaluate every session.

Frequency is how often the issue shows up. Years ago a client said to me, "Gene, it's great. I'm only having seizures six days a week." For me, six days a week of seizures sounds like a horror show. For her it meant one day a week she was emotionally and physically clear enough to get everything done. The frequency went down by one day, and that one day was her life expanding.

Frequency can be the hardest of the three to measure, because if a behavior is still happening at all, you tend to notice the times it happens more than the times it doesn't. If you're trying to reduce how often you doom-scroll to distract yourself, going from ten times a week to five times a week still feels like ten because you're still doing it. When you're tracking frequency, write it down.

Duration is how long the discomfort sticks with you after it shows up. Three times in my work I've had legal action threatened against me by clients. One of those times the client was blaming me for their frozen pipes, so you can judge the seriousness for yourself. The first time it happened, it threw me off and kept me emotional for about 36 hours. The second time, it impacted me for the rest of the day. The third time, it took me about 45 minutes to settle.

Same kind of event, same intensity in the moment, same response required (call my lawyer, take care of myself). What changed was how long the emotional charge stayed in my body. That's duration, and it's a real measure of progress.

Intensity is how strong the response is when it happens. I can be angry about something my neighbor does, or I can be frustrated about the same thing. In both cases I'm having an emotional response, but I'm far less likely to make a harsh, rash, unuseful choice when I'm frustrated than when I'm angry. Same trigger, smaller response. That's intensity going down.

If you've ever found the standard 0 to 10 rating frustrating or unhelpful, this three-part frame is a useful alternative. I've written more about that in what to do when the SUD scale doesn't work for you.

When Tapping Changes You Without Changing the Situation Tapping often makes things better even when the underlying situation hasn't changed at all. That's not a failure of tapping. That's tapping doing exactly what it's designed to do.

Picture this. You're facing real financial pressure and you're overwhelmed by it. You sit down and tap on the overwhelm. Ten minutes later you feel calmer. The financial pressure is still there. Nothing about the bank account has changed. But you can now think clearly about the problem, see options you couldn't see before, and make deliberate choices instead of panicked ones.

That's a win, and it's the kind of win we usually undervalue. The situation didn't change, but your relationship to the situation did, and from that calmer place you have actual capacity to act. This is exactly the dynamic at work in tapping for overwhelm when you have too much on your plate. You're not making the to-do list shorter. You're making yourself bigger than the list.

The same logic applies to in-the-moment frustration. When something goes wrong at my desk and I get frustrated, I don't need to turn the frustration completely off in order to keep working. I need to turn it down enough that I can focus. There might be residual frustration sitting in the background. That's fine. If 90 seconds of tapping produces an hour of effective work, I'll make that trade every day of the week.

The "One Step Better" Approach to Every Tapping Session The most useful question to ask before any tapping session is: what does one step better look like right now? Then use the tool to see if you can get there. If you do, ask the same question again.

That iteration is the whole game. It's not how long until this is resolved. It's what does the next small improvement feel like in my body, and can I get there from where I am? Then, from that new place, what does the next one feel like?

This is why the work of tapping looks less like a single grand transformation and more like a series of small, real improvements stacked over time. Each one is its own win. Together they become the change you were looking for. The principle that the key to tapping success is more than the right words lives right here: success is less about scripting the perfect setup statement and more about being honest about what better looks like and going after it one increment at a time.

Key Insight: "Ask yourself what one step better feels like. Use the tool to see if you can achieve that. Then ask again. That's the work."

How to Set Realistic Expectations Before You Tap Setting realistic expectations before you tap is the single most useful thing you can do to make tapping feel like it's working. Before you start a round, answer three quick questions in your head.

First, what is one step better for this issue? Not healed, not gone, but better. Name it specifically. "I want to be able to read the email without my chest tightening." "I want to feel calm enough to call my mom back."

Second, which of the three measures matters most here? Are you trying to reduce how often this shows up, how long it sticks with you, or how intense it gets? Different issues respond to different measures, and naming the one you care about gives you something concrete to check at the end.

Third, what would you accept as a real win? If a 33% reduction in intensity would let you finish what you need to finish today, that's a real win. Decide that before you tap, not after. Otherwise the part of you that wants everything healed in one round will quietly call any real progress a failure.

Frequently Asked Questions How long does tapping take to work on anxiety? Tapping can reduce acute anxiety within 90 seconds to a few minutes in many cases, especially when the anxiety is tied to a specific, present-moment trigger. Long-standing anxiety patterns tied to deeper beliefs or past experiences usually take repeated sessions over weeks or months to shift in a lasting way.

Why isn't my tapping working? Tapping often is working, but you're measuring it against the wrong yardstick. If you expect a single round to permanently resolve a long-standing issue, almost any real result will feel like failure. Try measuring frequency, duration, and intensity separately, and check whether any one of them is improving even slightly.

How many rounds of tapping should I do on one issue? Do as many rounds as it takes to get one step better, then reassess. Some issues shift in a single round. Others need many rounds over multiple sessions. The right number is whatever moves the issue one increment in the direction you want, then you decide whether to keep going.

What does it mean if I feel worse after tapping? Feeling worse after tapping usually means you've made contact with something the body had been keeping out of awareness, not that the tapping went wrong. The discomfort is information. Continue tapping on what's now showing up, or pause and come back to it when you have more space.

Is tapping supposed to remove the problem completely? Tapping is designed to make things better, not necessarily to remove the issue completely. Sometimes "better" means the external situation changes. More often it means your emotional response to the situation changes enough that you can think, act, and make choices from a calmer place.

How do I know if tapping is working long-term? Look at frequency, duration, and intensity over weeks and months, not minutes. Is the issue showing up less often, sticking with you for less time, or hitting with less force when it does show up? Any one of those moving in the right direction is real, durable progress.

How long does tapping take to work on chronic pain? Tapping can reduce chronic pain intensity within a single session, sometimes substantially, but lasting change in chronic pain usually involves ongoing tapping practice combined with addressing the emotional and stress components that maintain the pain. Expect incremental progress measured over weeks, not a single permanent fix.

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Recently, I was working with a client who said, "I just wish I understood what the university is trying to teach me."

This is a sentiment I often hear from my clients.

Learning from our past mistakes is good and valuable. When we are able to see what went wrong and why it went wrong, we can act in new ways in the future.

Sometimes it feels even bigger than that. It isn't just learning from a past mistake, but learning a lesson the universe is trying to teach you that goes beyond what happened…it is about who you are at your core.

Every time I have learned one of those deeper lessons about life, the universe, and everything, my world gets better.

The problem is that sometimes there is no lesson to learn from the past. There is no grand meaning or guidance we need to remember in future. Sometimes things are hard just because they are hard.

If you are searching for a deeper meaning that does not exist, you will get stuck because your subconscious mind will obstruct your healing to make sure you learn the lesson.

This week in the podcast I share the round of tapping I do to make sure this doesn't happen. The beautiful part is you don't need to consciously know you are stuck in this pattern for the tapping to help. This is tapping you will want to bookmark and tap along to again in the future.

Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support

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If you have ever finished a round of EFT tapping and found yourself yawning uncontrollably, you are not imagining things. In 18 years of working with clients, this question lands in my inbox almost every single month. It is actually one of the top search terms that brings new readers to TappingQandA.com.

TL;DR / Key Takeaways

Yawning, burping, and stomach gurgles after a tapping round are all signs that your body shifted out of fight-or-flight mode and into its natural rest-and-restore state.
The human nervous system operates in two distinct modes: the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) and the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest). EFT tapping moves you from the first into the second.
When the digestive system comes back online after a stress response, it produces physical signals including yawns, burps, farts, and stomach rumbles.
You do not need to yawn for tapping to have worked. The absence of a yawn is not evidence that nothing changed.
These physical responses are among the most common questions people search before finding this site, which tells us that tappers everywhere share this experience and wonder what it means.

Why Do I Yawn After Tapping? The Short Answer Yawning after a round of EFT tapping means your nervous system just made a real, measurable shift. It moved out of sympathetic activation (the stress state) and into parasympathetic activation (the recovery state), and your body is announcing that transition out loud.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), commonly called tapping, involves tapping on specific acupressure points on the face and upper body while focusing on an emotional issue. Some of the earliest peer-reviewed research on tapping demonstrated that it reduces cortisol, the primary stress hormone produced during fight-or-flight activation. When cortisol drops and the sympathetic response de-escalates, the parasympathetic nervous system takes over. That handoff produces a cascade of physical changes, and yawning is one of the most visible.

Key insight: "The yawn is your body's way of resetting its state. It is the system literally changing shape from the inside to signal that the danger has passed."

What Are the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous Systems? The human nervous system runs in two modes that cannot operate simultaneously. Your body is always choosing between them based on its read of your environment.

The sympathetic nervous system governs fight or flight. When the brain perceives a threat, physical or emotional, it floods the body with adrenaline and cortisol. Heart rate climbs. Pupils dilate to take in more visual information. Oxygen is pushed to your limbs so you can run or fight. Digestion shuts down almost entirely, because processing food is a waste of resources when a threat is nearby. Some people experience the extreme version of this when they go blank before a presentation or job interview. The capillaries in the brain constrict as oxygen is rerouted to the muscles, which is why all the answers you forgot come flooding back the moment you walk out the door and the threat passes.

The parasympathetic nervous system governs rest, repair, and digestion. Heart rate drops. Pupils contract to sharpen focus. The digestive system powers back on. Growth and maintenance processes resume.

You can learn more about how the nervous system connects to emotional healing in Pod #482, where I talked through the full picture with Dr. Jen Cincurak, a naturopathic doctor whose work centers on nervous system maturation and somatic tools including tapping.

Why Tapping Triggers the Shift from Stress to Rest Tapping moves the body from sympathetic to parasympathetic activation by sending a calming signal through the acupressure system while you hold a stressful thought or feeling in mind. The combination of cognitive focus and physical tapping interrupts the fight-or-flight loop.

Key insight: "What tapping does is give the nervous system new information. It says: you can be present with this emotion without being in danger because of it."

The early body of scientific research on tapping, including studies that measured cortisol in saliva before and after sessions, showed measurable decreases in the stress hormone within a single session. That biological change is not metaphorical. It is the same shift the body makes when a frightening situation resolves and you let out a long exhale. Tapping makes it available on purpose, for emotional material the nervous system has been holding in stress mode for days, months, or years.

For a deeper look at the evidence behind why tapping produces these effects, Why Tapping Works: Six Evidence-Based Premises covers the research base in plain language.

What Causes the Yawning, Burping, and Stomach Gurgles? When the parasympathetic nervous system takes over, every system that was put on hold during the stress response comes back online at once. That re-activation is not silent.

The yawn is a physical resetting of the throat and airway, part of the body recalibrating its breathing pattern as it relaxes. It is not about being sleepy (though it can feel that way). It is the airway itself changing shape as surrounding muscles release tension.

The burps, farts, and stomach gurgles are the digestive system restarting. During fight or flight, digestion goes essentially offline. The moment the parasympathetic system takes over, digestion turns back on like an engine starting up after sitting cold. It makes noise. It produces gas. That is not a malfunction. That is the machinery doing exactly what it is supposed to do.

This connects to broader patterns around what happens in the body during emotional healing, a topic I explored in depth with Julie Schiffman in an early episode on physical body signals.

Does Not Yawning Mean Tapping Did Not Work? No. The absence of a yawn after tapping does not mean nothing happened.

Key insight: "The yawn is one sign that the shift occurred. It is not the only sign, and its absence is not evidence of failure."

Yawning signals the sympathetic-to-parasympathetic transition when it is large enough to produce a physical response, but subtler or more gradual shifts may not trigger visible physical signals. Some sessions produce a quiet settling rather than a dramatic physical announcement. Some people rarely yawn at all, regardless of what their nervous system is doing.

I have worked with clients who felt genuinely deflated after a session because they did not yawn the way they had in earlier rounds. They assumed that meant the session did not work. In most cases, they had already done significant work on the issue previously, and the remaining shifts were quieter. Quieter does not mean smaller.

If you are wondering whether your tapping is actually producing results, Pod #703 on why you might feel worse after a round of tapping addresses exactly that concern in detail.

Other Physical Signs That Tapping Is Working Yawning is the most commonly noticed signal, but it belongs to a larger family of parasympathetic indicators. After a productive tapping round, you might also notice a deep sigh or a long exhale that seems to come out of nowhere. A shift in the weight of your shoulders or a release of tension in your jaw. A brief wave of tiredness as the nervous system moves out of high alert and the body relaxes toward its resting state. Occasionally a sudden need to use the bathroom, which is the GI tract re-engaging.

None of these are problems. They are the body doing its job, communicating in the language it was designed to use.

If you have ever felt oddly emotional right after a round of tapping and wondered whether something went wrong, Pod #695 on why you feel sad after tapping walks through the same nervous-system logic applied to emotional release.

The Five Stress Responses and What They Mean for Tapping Most people know fight or flight, but the sympathetic nervous system actually produces five distinct stress responses, sometimes called the five Fs: fight, flight, freeze, flop, and fawn.

Fight and flight are the most familiar. Freeze is what happens when the threat is so overwhelming that movement seems impossible. Flop is a more extreme collapse response. Fawn is the social version, appeasing and accommodating to neutralize the threat through relationship.

All five of these states share the same underlying biochemistry: cortisol, adrenaline, constricted digestion, elevated heart rate, redirected blood flow. And all five can be the state your nervous system is carrying when you sit down to tap on an emotional issue.

Key insight: "Every one of those five stress responses is the body trying to keep you safe. Tapping gives the system the signal that the danger has passed and it is safe to stand down."

This is why tapping can produce the same yawning and digestive reset regardless of whether the original stress was acute fear, chronic people-pleasing, or old frozen shock. The body's exit route from all five states runs through the same parasympathetic doorway, and the yawn on the other side is the same yawn.

What to Do When You Notice These Physical Signals After Tapping When you notice a yawn, a burp, or a gurgle during or after tapping, you do not need to do anything special. Simply acknowledge it as confirmation that your nervous system is responding.

A few practices that support this process:

Pause after the physical signal. When you yawn or feel a release, give yourself 30 seconds to breathe and let the shift settle before moving on.
Notice what changed emotionally. After the signal, check in with the issue you were tapping on. Does it feel different? Smaller? More distant? This is your informal SUDS (Subjective Units of Distress Scale) check, which is the standard 0 to 10 measure of emotional intensity used in EFT.
Do not chase the yawn. Tapping longer or harder specifically to produce more yawning is unnecessary. If the yawn happened, the shift happened. Trust it.
Keep a short log. Some tappers find it helpful to note physical signals alongside their emotional observations after a session. Over time this builds self-knowledge about how your particular nervous system signals change.

If you want a structured way to use tapping consistently and build on these kinds of shifts day by day, 365TappingLessons.com offers a full year of guided sessions built around exactly this kind of body-informed practice.

Frequently Asked Questions Why do I yawn so much when I do EFT tapping? Yawning during or after EFT tapping is your nervous system shifting from sympathetic activation (fight or flight) to parasympathetic activation (rest and digest). This shift causes a physical reset in the throat and airway, which produces yawning. Frequent yawning during tapping typically means your sessions are moving significant stored stress through your system.

Is yawning after tapping a good sign? Yes. Yawning after tapping is a positive indicator that your nervous system made a genuine transition from a stress state into a recovery state. It is not coincidence. It is the body responding to the biochemical shift that tapping creates.

What does it mean when my stomach gurgles during tapping? Stomach gurgles during tapping mean your digestive system is coming back online after being suppressed by a stress response. During fight or flight, digestion essentially shuts down to conserve energy. When tapping moves you into a parasympathetic state, digestion restarts and produces audible sounds. This is a healthy, normal response.

Does not yawning mean tapping is not working? No. You can have a highly effective tapping session with no yawning at all. Yawning signals the parasympathetic shift when it is large enough to produce a visible physical response, but subtler shifts may not trigger it. Judge the effectiveness of a session by how the emotional issue feels afterward, not by whether you yawned.

Can tapping make you feel tired? Yes, and for a good reason. Coming out of a sustained stress state, even a low-grade chronic one, requires the nervous system to recalibrate. When the parasympathetic system takes over after tapping, the body sometimes relaxes into a brief wave of tiredness. This is normal and typically passes within a few minutes.

What are the five F stress responses and how does tapping address them? The five stress responses are fight, flight, freeze, flop, and fawn. All five are expressions of the sympathetic nervous system triggered by perceived danger. Tapping works across all five because it addresses the underlying biochemistry (cortisol, adrenaline, restricted digestion) rather than any one specific behavioral expression of stress.

Is there research showing tapping reduces the stress response? Yes. Some of the earliest peer-reviewed studies on EFT measured cortisol levels before and after tapping sessions and found significant reductions within a single session. This physiological evidence supports what tappers report experientially: that tapping produces a measurable shift in the body's stress state, not just a change in perspective.

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It is hard to sit down to tap when you have been battling a stubborn issue for a long time.

Without seeing progress, maintaining momentum and motivation is challenging. You may struggle to know what to tap on because it seems as if you are working on the same aspects over and over again. At a certain point, it feels like you are tapping on autopilot and your motivation flags.

In my experience, there are three lenses through which to view persistent, deeply-rooted issues that will help to get you unstuck.

The great thing is that these three lenses work together in harmony. As you work on one, you will gain insight into the second, allowing you to shift your perspective.

Understanding these three ways of looking at a seemingly intractable problem means always having access to a fresh starting point and new levels of healing.

This week in the podcast I share how these work together and how you can add them to your tapping right away.

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If you have ever sat down to tap and thought, "this isn't going to work for me," you are not alone. That single thought stops more people from healing than any technique ever could. Knowing what to do when you don't think tapping will work is the first step toward getting unstuck.

TL;DR: Key Takeaways 1. The thought "tapping won't work for me" is almost never about tapping. It is a protective story your subconscious is telling to keep you from a deeper fear. 2. Five specific fears tend to hide behind this doubt: losing your last hope, worrying things will get worse, having to admit you could have healed sooner, feeling weird, and believing you are too broken. 3. The fastest way through this resistance is to tap on the doubt itself, not on the original issue. 4. Treating each fear as a part of you that is trying to keep you safe, rather than something to argue with, dissolves resistance faster than logic ever will.

The Real Question Hiding Behind "Will Tapping Work for Me?" When you ask whether tapping will work, you are usually not asking about tapping. You are asking whether it is safe to hope.

In nearly two decades of working with clients, I have noticed that people who genuinely believe a tool is useless do not ask follow-up questions about it. They simply move on. The fact that you are still thinking about tapping, still wondering, still circling back, means a part of you suspects it might actually help. That suspicion is what makes the question feel risky.

Key Insight: "Believing something might work sometimes feels better than actually trying it and having it fail."

This is the hidden mechanic behind most resistance to any healing tool. The doubt is not the obstacle. The doubt is the disguise.

Why Asking If Tapping Will Work Means Part of You Already Believes It Might If your subconscious had completely written tapping off, you would have stopped reading by now. The act of asking the question is evidence that something inside you is still open.

That is good news, because it means the work in front of you is not convincing yourself tapping is real. The work is meeting the part of you that is afraid of what happens if it is. People are often unwilling to tap on the original issue, but they are willing to tap on their doubt about whether tapping will help with that issue. That willingness is the doorway.

This is also why I do not recommend white-knuckling your way past the resistance. Forcing yourself to tap when a part of you is convinced it will not work just teaches that part of you that its concerns are being ignored. It usually digs in deeper.

The Five Hidden Fears Disguised as Doubt About Tapping Doubt about tapping almost always traces back to one of five protective fears. Each one feels like a reasonable opinion about a technique, but each is actually a story about what might happen to you if the technique succeeded. If you have ever found yourself afraid tapping might actually work, one of these is likely doing the talking.

Fear #1: Losing Your Last Hope Some people resist tapping because tapping is the last thing on their list. If it fails, there is nothing left to try.

I had a client say this to me directly years ago. "Gene, I don't want to tap because tapping is my last hope. And if I try this and it doesn't work, then I have no hope." For her, holding onto an untested possibility felt safer than testing it and watching it fail. As long as she did not try, hope stayed intact. This is one of the most common forms of resistance I see, and it almost never sounds like fear on the surface. It sounds like skepticism.

Fear #2: Worry That Better Will Actually Be Worse Healing has consequences. For some people, those consequences feel more dangerous than the original problem.

Consider someone who is afraid of putting their work into the world. If tapping helps them overcome that fear, they will start publishing. The moment they start publishing, they invite criticism. So a part of them quietly concludes that staying stuck is safer than getting better. The fear is not really about tapping. It is about what success would expose them to. This is a textbook example of secondary gain, where the symptom is doing a job the person has not consciously acknowledged.

Fear #3: Having to Admit You Could Have Healed Sooner If tapping works for you today, it probably would have worked for you a year ago. Or five years ago. That can be a hard thing to face.

A part of you may resist tapping not because it doubts the tool, but because succeeding now would mean reckoning with the time you spent suffering when you did not have to. Staying stuck protects you from that grief. Once you see this pattern, you can tap on the grief itself, which is often where the real movement starts.

Fear #4: Feeling Weird Tapping on Your Face Tapping looks unusual. There is no point pretending otherwise. For some people, the social or self-image cost of doing something that looks strange outweighs the potential benefit.

If you have ever wondered what other people would think if they walked in on you tapping, that is the fear talking. It often softens once you understand how and why tapping actually works at a physiological level, because the technique stops feeling like a quirky ritual and starts feeling like a deliberate intervention.

Fear #5: Being "Too Broken" for Any Tool to Work This is the most painful version. The story sounds like, "tapping works for everyone else, but I am so broken that nothing will work for me."

This fear is rarely about tapping at all. It is a long-held belief about being beyond help, and tapping is just the latest tool the belief is using to prove itself right. When this is the resistance, the most useful first move is to tap on the belief that you are too broken, not on the issue you originally wanted to address. There is a real path here for people ready to believe that healing is possible for them, but it starts by addressing the broken story directly.

Why Tapping on the Resistance Works Better Than Pushing Through It When you don't think tapping will work, the most effective move is to tap on the doubt itself. This bypasses the wrestling match and meets your subconscious where it actually is.

The logic is straightforward. The part of you that is doubting is not interested in being argued with. It has a job, which is to keep you safe by stopping you from doing something that might disappoint you, expose you, or confirm a painful belief. If you tap directly on that fear, you are signaling that you have heard it. Once it feels heard, it tends to relax. This is the same mechanism behind any resistance to taking healthy action, whether the action is tapping, exercising, applying for a job, or having a hard conversation.

Key Insight: "People are unwilling to tap on something, but they're willing to tap on their concern about whether or not tapping will work."

That willingness is enough. You do not need to believe in the outcome. You only need to be willing to address the doubt.

How to Tap When You Don't Think Tapping Will Work Here is the exact pattern I use with clients in this situation. Tap through the points while reading these phrases out loud, or follow along with the audio in the episode.

Start on the side of the hand and take a deep breath. Then move from point to point with these statements:

"I recognize that I am asking whether tapping will actually work for me, and I have real concerns."
"The concern I have is not actually about tapping. It is about the story that tapping working would tell."
"If I try this and it fails, I am afraid I will lose my hope."
"If I try this and it works, I am afraid the change might actually make things worse."
"If I try this and it works, I will have to face the fact that I could have healed sooner."
"Part of me thinks this just looks and feels weird, and I do not want to look weird."
"Part of me is afraid it is too late, and that I am just too broken."
"Every one of these fears is a part of me trying to keep me safe, and I appreciate it."
"It is safe for me to give this a try. It might not go perfectly, but I give myself permission to try anyway."

Take a deep breath at the end and check in with the original doubt. In most cases, the resistance will have softened, even if it has not disappeared entirely. If it is still there, run the sequence again.

This Pattern Shows Up Everywhere, Not Just With Tapping The mechanism behind tapping resistance is the mechanism behind almost every form of self-sabotage. The thing you are doubting is rarely the thing you are actually afraid of.

When you find yourself wondering whether something will work for you, get into the habit of asking a second question. What would happen if it did work? The answer to that question is usually where the real fear is hiding, and that is where the most useful tapping work begins.

Key Insight: "Sometimes our fear about doing something is not about the thing. It is about the story that comes about us doing that particular thing."

That is true for tapping. It is true for therapy, for relationships, for changing careers, for anything that asks you to grow. Once you can see the pattern, you stop wasting energy debating the tool and start directing it at the actual fear.

Frequently Asked Questions What does it mean if I don't think tapping will work for me? It usually means a part of you is afraid of what would happen if it did work. The doubt is rarely about the technique itself. It is about a hidden fear, such as losing hope, facing criticism, or admitting you could have changed sooner.

Can I still tap if I am skeptical? Yes. Tapping does not require belief to produce results. The technique works on the body's physiology and stress response regardless of your opinion of it. Many people who started out skeptical found that their first noticeable shift came from tapping on the skepticism itself.

Why would I tap on my doubt instead of my actual problem? Because the doubt is what is blocking access to the problem. If a part of you is convinced tapping will fail, that part will sabotage any session you start. Tapping on the doubt clears the resistance so you can address the real issue with your full attention.

Is it normal to feel weird about tapping on my face? Completely. Tapping looks unusual the first few times you do it. Most people find that the awkwardness fades within a few sessions, especially as they begin to feel results. You can also start by tapping in private until the discomfort settles.

What if I am too broken for tapping to work? The belief that you are too broken is a story, not a fact. It is also one of the most common forms of resistance I see in 17 years of practice. The work is not to argue with that story. It is to tap directly on it. People who address that belief first often find that tools they had given up on suddenly become useful again.

How do I know whether my doubt is real or hidden fear? A useful test is to ask yourself, "what would happen if tapping actually worked?" If the answer brings up anxiety, grief, or a sense of exposure, you are likely dealing with hidden fear rather than considered skepticism. Genuine skepticism does not produce that kind of charge.

How long does it take for tapping resistance to clear? For most people, a single round of tapping on the doubt produces a noticeable softening within a few minutes. Deeper resistance, especially the "too broken" variety, may take several sessions. The point is not to force a particular timeline. It is to keep meeting the fear with curiosity until it relaxes.

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One of the topics that I have been coming back to again again this year is trying to find ways to make it easier for you to start a round of tapping because once you start it is much easier to stick with it.

This week in the podcast I share with you one of my favorite and simplest tapping techniques which is a "one step tapping process".

When I am teaching people how to tap this is what I teach them right after I teach wordless tapping. But don't let the simplicity of the approach fool you. Even though it is straight forward it is powerful. So much so when I am giving my clients recommendations on how to tap between sessions this is my number one go to recommendation.

You are going to love this!

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If you have ever finished a round of tapping and felt more upset than when you started, you are not doing it wrong. In fact, when you feel worse after tapping, it usually means something productive is happening underneath the surface. This is one of the most common questions I get from listeners, and the answer changes how you interpret every round of tapping you will ever do.

Key Takeaways * Feeling worse after a round of tapping is common, and in most cases it signals that you are closer to real change, not further from it. * Any tapping round has only three possible outcomes: you feel better, nothing changes, or you feel worse. Each outcome tells you exactly what to do next. * When intensity rises during tapping, it usually means one of two things: you have tuned in more fully to an emotion you were already carrying, or a deeper related issue has surfaced. * A rising SUDS number (Subjective Units of Distress, the 0 to 10 scale used in EFT) is diagnostic information, not a failure signal. * Rising intensity is good news about direction, but it also raises the question of whether what just surfaced is safe and appropriate to continue tapping on alone.

Why Feeling Worse After Tapping Is Actually Common Feeling worse after tapping is one of the most misunderstood experiences in EFT, and it happens to almost everyone who taps regularly. The discomfort you notice after a round usually is not new discomfort. It is discomfort you were already carrying that has become easier to feel because you stopped distracting yourself from it. This is closely related to sadness showing up after tapping, which follows the same underlying pattern.

In 18 years of working with clients, I have watched this moment land the same way again and again. Someone taps for 10 minutes, opens their eyes, and says, "I feel worse now than when I started. This isn't working." What is almost always happening is the opposite. They have turned their attention toward something they had been quietly ignoring, and attention has a volume knob.

Key insight: "Just because it feels worse, it doesn't actually mean things are getting worse. It just means they feel worse."

That distinction matters because most people quit tapping at exactly the moment it is starting to work. If you have ever stopped mid-session because the feeling got bigger, this is the pattern you were caught in.

The Three Possible Outcomes of Any Tapping Round Every round of tapping produces one of three outcomes: you feel better, nothing changes, or you feel worse. Recognizing which outcome you are in is the single most useful diagnostic skill in EFT, because each outcome calls for a different next move.

Outcome one is the one most people hope for. You tap, the emotional charge drops, and you can get on with your day. At that point the only question is whether you are done or whether there is more to clear. If a little frustration still hums in the background but it is not blocking you, you can stop. If it is still getting in the way of being productive, you know you are on the right path and you keep going. This is part of how tapping progress actually accumulates, usually in layers rather than in one dramatic release.

Outcome two is when nothing changes. This is not failure. It is a signal that the specific angle you chose is not the right entry point for this issue right now. The fix is simple: change something. Tap on a different aspect of the problem, name a different emotion, go after the body sensation instead of the story, or extend the round so the setup statement has time to do its work.

Outcome three is the one this article is really about. The intensity climbs. You feel more upset, not less. That almost always means one of two specific things is happening, and both of them are good news in disguise.

Why You Feel Worse After Tapping Reason #1: You Are Tuning In The first reason you feel worse after tapping is simple: you stopped turning the volume down. When you were busy with the day, the emotion was background noise. Now that you have given it your full attention for five minutes, it is foreground, and foreground always feels louder.

I am dealing with a foot and ankle injury right now, and the physical version of this plays out every single evening. All day I barely notice my ankle because I am moving through meetings, answering messages, recording episodes. Then I sit down at the end of the day, relax, and my right ankle starts pulsing in pain. The relaxation did not cause the pain. The relaxation let me notice the pain that was there all along.

The same mechanism runs the emotional version. When you start tapping on frustration, you are not manufacturing fresh frustration. You are reconnecting with the details of the experience, and the emotion follows the details. This is also why talking through a bad memory can make you angrier as you go. You are not building new anger. You are rejoining the old anger in higher resolution.

Key insight: "As I tune in, the rising just means I'm having more detail, which means I'm actually closer to creating transformation."

More detail is what lets tapping actually land. A vague "I feel bad" does not release the way "I felt humiliated in that specific meeting when that specific person said that specific thing" releases. The intensity bump is often the sound of specificity arriving.

Why You Feel Worse After Tapping Reason #2: A Deeper Issue Surfaced The second reason you feel worse after tapping is that clearing the surface emotion has revealed a second issue sitting underneath it. This is one of the most common patterns in EFT, and once you can spot it, you stop mistaking it for a problem.

Here is a version I see constantly. You start tapping on frustration because a project did not work out. A few minutes in, the frustration begins to lift, and you suddenly realize you are not really frustrated, you are hurt. Someone made you a promise and did not keep it, and underneath the frustration is a sense of betrayal. The frustration was real, but it was also a lid on something bigger.

The first emotion often blocks your view of everything else. When frustration is loud, you cannot clearly see the sadness, the grief, the disappointment, or the old memory attached to the current event. The moment the first layer releases, the deeper layer becomes visible, and the intensity you feel is not the tapping making things worse. It is your system finally letting you see what was actually driving the reaction. This is one of the deeper layers healing reveals as you work through an issue over time.

This is why I treat a spike in intensity as a green light, not a red one. When the number goes up after a round, I have usually just found the more important thing to work on. The frustration was the door. The betrayal is the room.

What to Do When Tapping Makes You Feel Worse When tapping makes you feel worse, the next move depends on which of the three outcomes you are actually in, and the decision tree is short. In most cases you keep going, but with a small adjustment based on what you just noticed.

If the intensity rose because you tuned in more fully (Reason #1), stay with the same target. Keep tapping on the specific details that brought the feeling into sharper focus. You are doing the right work on the right issue, and the rise is a sign the release is closer, not further.

If the intensity rose because a deeper issue surfaced (Reason #2), switch targets. Write down what just appeared so you do not lose it, and start a fresh round on the new layer. Trying to tap on the surface frustration when what is really present is betrayal will not move the needle. Follow the bigger emotion.

If nothing is changing, change one variable. This is often what is happening when EFT seems to stop working: the tool is fine, but the angle needs a small adjustment. Here are the most reliable things to adjust in order:

Change the aspect. Tap on a different facet of the same issue (the person, the place, the moment, the body sensation, the thought).
Change the emotion you are naming. Instead of "anger," try "disappointment," "hurt," or "the sense that it should have been different."
Extend the round. Keep going through all eight points two or three more times before judging whether anything shifted.
Go to the body. Drop the story entirely and tap on the physical sensation, where it lives, and what it feels like.

None of these require you to start over. They are small tweaks to an approach that is already working better than you think.

When Rising Intensity Means You Should Call a Practitioner Rising intensity during tapping is usually good news, but it comes with a responsibility: you need to ask whether what just surfaced is safe and appropriate for you to keep tapping on by yourself. Not everything that appears should be processed alone.

I might feel completely comfortable tapping on frustration by myself at my kitchen table. I might feel much less comfortable tapping alone on a sense of betrayal tied to a close relationship, or on a memory with real trauma attached to it. Both are legitimate targets. They are not both legitimate solo targets. Knowing the difference is a core part of tapping safely on your own.

Key insight: "Just because I can doesn't mean I should. Just because it's popped up doesn't mean I do it next."

A simple rule: if the thing that surfaced feels significantly bigger than what you sat down to work on, pause before you chase it. Ask yourself whether you have the emotional bandwidth, the privacy, and the support to work with it right now. If the answer is no on any of those, note what you found, tap to soften the edge so you can put it down safely, and bring the deeper issue to a practitioner or therapist who works with EFT.

Rising intensity is a sign you are close to something important. That is exactly why it deserves your care, not just your momentum.

Frequently Asked Questions Is it normal to feel worse after tapping? Yes, it is normal and fairly common to feel worse after tapping, especially when you are working on a layered issue. Rising intensity usually means you have either tuned in more fully to an emotion you were already carrying or uncovered a deeper related issue. Both are signs tapping is working, not failing.

Why do I feel worse after EFT instead of better? You likely feel worse after EFT because tapping has shifted your attention fully onto the emotion, so what was background discomfort has become foreground discomfort. Less often, the surface feeling has cleared enough to expose a deeper issue underneath, and the new layer is more intense than the one you started with.

Does rising intensity mean tapping is not working? No. Rising intensity during tapping almost always means you are on the right path, because you are either getting more detail about the original issue or finding a deeper issue that was hidden by the first one. The fix is to keep tapping, not to stop.

What should I do when a round of tapping makes me feel worse? Identify why the intensity rose. If you have tuned in more fully, stay with the same target and keep tapping. If a new issue has surfaced, write it down and start a fresh round on the deeper layer. Never force yourself to continue on something that feels too big for a solo session.

How do I know if I should stop tapping and see a practitioner? Stop tapping on your own if what surfaced feels significantly bigger than what you sat down to work on, if it involves trauma or a charged relationship, or if you do not have the privacy and support to sit with it. Tap lightly to soften the edge, then bring the issue to an EFT practitioner or therapist.

Can tapping surface memories or emotions I was not expecting? Yes. Tapping often surfaces emotions, memories, and connections that were sitting underneath the issue you named at the start. This is a normal part of how EFT uncovers the roots of a reaction, and it is usually why a seemingly small starting issue leads to a much bigger insight.

Why does nothing change when I tap sometimes? If nothing changes when you tap, the tool is not broken. The specific angle you chose is not the right entry point for this issue in this moment. Change the aspect you are targeting, name a different emotion, extend the round, or drop the story and tap on the body sensation instead.

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We emotionally respond to the world based on the way we describe it. What this means is that your subconscious mind is taking cues about what is going on, not based on what you are thinking, but based on what you are saying.

The most common version of this is a generalization. You might say something like "Everyone at work hates me." This probably isn't true, but you are going to walk into your workplace in a less healthy and useful way when you are acting as if everyone hates you.

Because this is the case, I pay particular attention to the way I talk and what my clients are saying when we are tapping. It is not about what is going on, but instead how we are describing what is going on.

One of the biggest culprits that keep us stuck is the phrase "I am..." When you use a phrase like "I am angry" or "I am overwhelmed" it creates a very specific emotional response which not only impacts how we act, but also how we heal.

This week in the podcast I share with you how I talk about my emotions instead. This one small change in vocabulary will change how you feel in your body and of all the things I have taught, this might be the easiest to add to your tapping.

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Why I Don't Use the EFT Setup Phrase (And What I Do Instead) If you've watched any of my tap-along videos, you've probably noticed something: I never start with the classic EFT setup phrase. That's a deliberate choice, and I get asked about it all the time. In this post, I want to explain exactly why I skip it and what I use instead.

TL;DR / Key Takeaways * The traditional EFT setup phrase ("Even though I have this issue, I deeply and completely accept myself") can backfire by activating unresolved self-acceptance issues when you only need quick emotional or physical relief. * For many people, the self-love claim in the setup phrase triggers inner resistance so strong that they avoid tapping altogether. * My alternative opening, "I recognize the fact," names present reality without demanding a self-acceptance leap, making it easier to start tapping immediately. * Accepting that something is happening is completely different from declaring it acceptable. You can acknowledge the problem without endorsing it. * Self-acceptance work is genuinely important and deserves its own dedicated sessions, with adequate time, space, and emotional safety.

What Is the EFT Setup Phrase? The EFT setup phrase is a verbal statement used at the beginning of a tapping round to acknowledge the problem and introduce an element of self-acceptance. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a practice developed by Gary Craig that involves tapping on specific acupressure points on the face and body while focusing on a particular issue.

When Gary Craig gave us his original Basic Recipe, tappers would begin either by rubbing what he called the "sore spot" on the chest or tapping the side of the hand. While doing that, they would say: "Even though I have this issue, I completely and deeply accept myself." As EFT spread and teachers adapted it, the most widely taught version became: "Even though I have this issue, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

That phrase has been around so long that many people assume it is an essential, non-negotiable part of tapping. It isn't. And I want to explain why I've moved away from it.

Why the EFT Setup Phrase Can Create Problems at the Start Starting a tapping round with "I deeply and completely love and accept myself" can backfire by pulling your subconscious attention toward unresolved self-acceptance issues when you only need relief from something much simpler.

Here's what I mean. When I sit down to tap in the middle of a busy day, I ask myself one question first: what is the goal of this round? Sometimes I'm overwhelmed and just need to take the edge off so I can get back to work. Sometimes I have a nagging physical pain that's become a distraction. In those moments, I'm doing emotional first aid or physical first aid. I'm not doing deep healing work. I'm reaching for the equivalent of an aspirin.

So imagine I sit down to tap on a headache and I say: "Even though I have this headache, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." And then my subconscious responds: "No, you don't. Here are seventeen reasons why you are unacceptable."

Key insight: "I've gone from trying to respond to my frustration to bringing up all of these self-acceptance issues that were not at the front of my mind. Now I'm dealing with not being able to love and accept myself instead of the thing I actually sat down to tap on."

That's friction. That's introducing a problem I wasn't trying to solve.

The Two Barriers the EFT Setup Phrase Creates for Tappers The setup phrase creates two distinct barriers that can interfere with effective tapping, and understanding both helps explain why I stopped using it.

Barrier one: Scope creep. When the phrase introduces self-acceptance into a session that isn't about self-acceptance, it pulls focus in a direction you don't have the capacity to handle right now. You came to tap on frustration. Now you're wading into deeper water than you prepared for.

Barrier two: Avoidance. For many people, the phrase "I love and accept myself" feels emotionally charged or even frightening. It bumps up against years of evidence their inner critic has collected. So rather than feel that discomfort at the very start, some people simply won't tap at all. The setup phrase becomes a wall rather than a door.

Key insight: "The setup phrase can either create a speed bump going into a tapping session, or it can create a wall that stops you from tapping at all. Neither of those outcomes is useful."

In my 18+ years of working with clients and tappers, I've seen both patterns play out constantly. Someone sits down to tap on something manageable and the very first phrase they're supposed to say sends them into emotional territory they weren't ready for. Or they skip the session entirely because they already know how that opening phrase is going to feel.

What "I Recognize the Fact" Means and Why It Works My alternative to the setup phrase is simple: I start with the words "I recognize the fact," followed by whatever I'm actually trying to address.

This idea came from the work of Ormond McGill, a legendary hypnotherapist who taught that "all transformation starts by stating what is." That principle hit me hard the first time I encountered it, and it's shaped how I approach every tapping session since.

So instead of declaring self-love, I name the present reality:

"I recognize the fact I'm overwhelmed right now."
"I recognize the fact I'm in a lot of pain."
"I recognize the fact I'm beating myself up for a poor decision."

Key insight: "When I recognize the fact, I'm accepting the current circumstance. That's not the same as accepting myself. It's accepting what is going on around me. And when I accept the reality of the circumstance, I can actually do something about it."

This kind of opening also does something practical: it narrows my focus. It answers the question I asked myself at the start of the session. It says, here is the specific thing I am tapping on right now. That clarity makes every round more purposeful and more effective.

I've actually created a setup phrase generator on TappingQandA.com that produces around 2,500 different phrase variations for people who want options. But for my own practice, "I recognize the fact" is almost always where I begin.

The Difference Between Accepting What Is and Calling It Acceptable This distinction matters a great deal, and I want to make sure it lands clearly.

Accepting what is happening is not the same as declaring it acceptable. I can acknowledge that I am overwhelmed without endorsing overwhelm as okay. I can recognize that I am in pain without resigning myself to staying in pain.

Think of it this way: I cannot fix my car unless I first accept that my car is not working. That acceptance isn't defeat. It's the accurate starting point that makes problem-solving possible. The same is true for emotional work. I cannot transform my overwhelm unless I acknowledge that I am, in fact, overwhelmed.

The traditional setup phrase conflates two different things. It asks you to simultaneously identify a problem and declare that you love yourself anyway. Both of those might be true. But they're not always what the moment calls for.

Key insight: "It is not acceptable for me to be overwhelmed, because it's getting in the way of my work. But I accept the fact that it is happening. That acceptance is what makes it possible to tap on it."

When you say "I recognize the fact," you're engaging honestly with your present experience. You're not rubber-stamping it. You're not bypassing it. You're simply seeing it clearly enough to work with it.

When Self-Acceptance Work Does Belong in a Tapping Session I want to be clear: I am not anti-self-acceptance. Not even close.

Self-acceptance work is some of the most important tapping work you can do. Over the course of eight weeks, I offered a dedicated self-acceptance tapping program through my Tapping Mastery Academy. We met every other Saturday for 75-minute sessions, which came out to five full hours of tapping focused entirely on the work of accepting ourselves. That's how seriously I take this topic.

The point isn't that self-acceptance doesn't belong in tapping. The point is that it deserves the right container.

Key insight: "There is no work more tender than moving to a place of self-love and self-acceptance. Because of that, I want to make sure I have the time, the space, the resources, and the sense of safety to engage with it properly."

When you're doing a quick five-minute session to knock down midday stress, that's not the container for deep self-acceptance work. When you've carved out real time, you feel emotionally resourced, and you've intentionally set up to go deep, that's when self-acceptance tapping is most likely to move the needle.

Timing matters. Context matters. The setup phrase doesn't account for either.

How to Apply This to Your Own EFT Setup Phrase Practice If you want to try this approach, the shift is simple.

Before you start any tapping round, ask yourself: what is the goal of this session? Be specific. Are you trying to reduce physical pain? Calm frustration? Process a difficult conversation? The more clearly you can name the target, the more effective your session will be.

Then begin with: "I recognize the fact [what you're actually experiencing]."

A few examples of how this sounds in practice:

"I recognize the fact I'm dreading this conversation."
"I recognize the fact my shoulders are tense and I don't know why."
"I recognize the fact I'm scared about what the results might show."

You are naming reality. You are not judging it, endorsing it, or fixing it yet. You are simply stating what is so you can work with it.

If you find that sessions exploring self-love and self-acceptance are important to you (and I believe they are), schedule time specifically for that work. Don't squeeze it into every round as a required preamble. Give it the space it deserves.

For help with knowing where to begin on any tapping round, Pod #684, The one question you MUST ask before you start a round of tapping, goes deeper on that intention-setting habit.

Frequently Asked Questions Is it wrong to use the EFT setup phrase? No. Many skilled and experienced EFT practitioners use the setup phrase every single time they tap, and their work is excellent. This is about what works best for you. If the phrase helps you connect to a session and doesn't create resistance, use it. I'm sharing my reasoning, not a rule.

Why does saying "I love and accept myself" sometimes feel impossible? Because for many people, that statement bumps directly into years of evidence to the contrary. The subconscious doesn't just agree with positive claims. If you have unresolved material around self-worth, self-love, or self-acceptance, asserting "I love myself" can trigger all of it at once, precisely when you were trying to address something else.

What if I don't know what "the fact" is when I sit down to tap? Start as specific as you can. "I recognize the fact I feel unsettled right now" is a perfectly valid opening. You don't need to have the precise emotion mapped out. You just need an honest statement about what you're actually experiencing. The round will often help you get clearer as it progresses. For more on this, see How to tap when you can't put your finger on the exact emotions you are feeling.

Does the "I recognize the fact" phrase work for deep healing sessions too, not just quick relief? Yes. It works at any depth. For a quick midday reset, it keeps you on target. For a deep dive, it still grounds you in honest acknowledgment of what you're working with. The difference is in how much time you give the session and how far you're willing to go, not in the opening phrase.

What did Gary Craig originally intend with the setup phrase? Gary Craig included the setup phrase in his Basic Recipe as a way to introduce acceptance and reduce psychological reversal, a term in EFT for the inner resistance that can block healing. His original version used "completely and deeply accept myself." The self-love framing is an adaptation that became widespread as teachers built on his work.

Can I modify the setup phrase instead of dropping it entirely? Absolutely. Many practitioners use variations like "I'm open to the possibility of accepting myself" or "I'm doing my best." If a softer version feels more honest than a full self-love declaration, that's a meaningful improvement. What matters most is that your opening statement is something your subconscious can actually get behind.

What if I've been using the setup phrase for years and it has been working for me? Keep using it. Seriously. The goal is effective tapping that you'll actually do consistently. If the setup phrase is working for you, there's no reason to change. I'm sharing the reasoning behind my own practice, not prescribing a single right approach for everyone.

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It can feel so discouraging when you have great tools at your disposal, like tapping, that you know will have a positive impact on your life…but you are not using them.

This leads to self-recrimination AND hesitancy to use the tools in future for fear of failure, which means double the regret.

Every six or eight weeks, I set time aside to tap on all the emotions I feel for not tapping as much as I want to. Time spent tapping on my frustration and self-betrayal means I feel better in the moment and I tap more because I have a healthier relationship to tapping.

This is such powerful work and I encourage you to tap along with me.

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If you have been tapping for any length of time, you have probably asked yourself: when am I actually done? You get some relief, the intensity drops, but the issue is not completely gone. Knowing when to stop tapping on an issue is one of the most common questions I hear, and the answer is simpler than most people think.

TL;DR: Key Takeaways * Knowing when to stop tapping is not about reaching a SUDS (Subjective Unit of Distress) level of zero; it is about reaching the functional outcome you defined before you started. * Before every round of EFT tapping, ask yourself one question: "What is the goal of this round of tapping?" and name a specific, measurable outcome. * You do not need to eliminate fear or resistance completely to take action; you only need to reduce the emotional intensity enough to do what you need to do. * For complex, layered issues like negative self-image, the same goal-and-metric framework applies across multiple tapping sessions over days or weeks. * The three-step process for knowing when to move on is: name the outcome, name the metric, and stop when you reach it.

Why Knowing When to Stop Tapping Matters Most people who learn EFT tapping go through a predictable arc. First comes the honeymoon phase where you want to tap on everything and you try to get everyone in your life to tap with you (I am speaking from lived experience here). Then the enthusiasm settles and you are left staring at a giant laundry list of things you could work on.

That laundry list creates its own kind of overwhelm. What do I tap on first? How long do I stay with it? When is it "enough"? Without a clear framework for knowing when to move on, many people either keep grinding on one issue long past the point of diminishing returns or they hop between issues so quickly that nothing gets meaningful traction.

Key Insight: "It's not about completely eliminating something. It's about putting ourselves in the position so we can think, feel, believe, and act in the ways that we want to."

This reframe changes everything about how you approach your tapping practice. The finish line is not the absence of all discomfort. The finish line is functional freedom.

What Is a SUDS Level and Why It Is Not the Finish Line SUDS stands for Subjective Unit of Distress, and it is a zero-to-ten scale used to measure emotional or physical intensity before and after tapping. If I have a pain in my shoulder, I rate it: zero to ten, how intense is this pain? I do a round of tapping, then I check again. If the number dropped from a seven to a five, I know the tapping is working.

SUDS is an excellent tool for tracking your tapping progress. The problem is that most people were taught to treat zero as the only acceptable endpoint. And the reality is that some issues will never reach a zero. Even when they could, chasing zero is not always the best use of your time and energy.

Key Insight: "There are some issues we are never going to get to a zero. And there are some issues where, even if we got it to a zero, it isn't necessarily the most useful thing for us to do."

Think of SUDS as a speedometer, not a destination. It tells you how fast you are moving, but it does not tell you where to stop.

The One Question to Ask Before Every Round of Tapping Before every round of tapping, I ask myself what I call Question One from my Tapping Mastery Blueprint: What is the goal of this round of tapping? Not "how much distress am I feeling" but "what is the outcome I want right now?"

This single question transforms the entire tapping experience. Instead of an open-ended session with no clear endpoint, you have a specific target. The goal might be to reduce frustration enough to get back to work. It might be to lower resistance enough to send a difficult email. It might be to shift the internal story that runs through your head when you look in the mirror.

When the goal is clear, you will recognize the moment you reach it. That recognition is how you know when to stop tapping and move on with your day.

How to Set a Measurable Tapping Goal A useful tapping goal has three parts: the outcome you want, the metric you will use to measure it, and the action that proves you have arrived. Here is how this works in practice.

Reducing frustration to refocus. If my frustration is sitting at a seven on the SUDS scale, I cannot concentrate. But if I can bring it down to a three, the moment I engage with my next task, I will be so focused on what is in front of me that I will forget what I was frustrated about. My metric is: can I clearly think about the work in front of me? When the answer is yes, I stop tapping.

Clearing resistance to take an action. The goal is not to feel zero fear. The goal is to feel safe enough to take the action with the energy and engagement it requires. My metric is: am I actually doing the thing? I have had clients working through resistance who, 23 minutes into a 30-minute session, suddenly say "I need to get off this call because I need to go do the thing right now." That is success. The tapping round is done because the goal was the action, not the absence of fear.

Key Insight: "The goal was not to get rid of the fear. The goal was not to get rid of the resistance. The goal was to take the action."

You Do Not Need to Be Fearless to Take Action I want to share a story that illustrates this perfectly. About 16 or 17 years ago, I was making my very first real offer to my email list. I was asking for the princely sum of (97 or )147, which at that point in my life felt like asking for $100 million.

I had the email written. I had it loaded into my email software. I was sitting in a Starbucks in Charles Village in Baltimore. And I hit send. The moment I hit send, I slammed my laptop shut and went for a 90-minute walk on a beautiful spring day because I was terrified of what was going to happen next.

When I got home, one or two people had bought and one or two people had unsubscribed. That was the entire consequence. I did not need to be fearless. I just needed to reduce the fear enough to press the button. And here is the important part: even if the fear had come rushing back 20 minutes later, it would not have mattered because the action was already taken.

This is why outcome-based tapping goals are so powerful. Once the email is sent, the conversation is started, or the decision is made, the fear and resistance become irrelevant to that particular action.

What About Issues That Take More Than One Session? Not every issue resolves in a single round of tapping. Some struggles, like the story you tell yourself when you look in the mirror or a deep pattern of self-doubt, require sustained work across days, weeks, or even months.

The framework stays exactly the same. You name the outcome: I want to change the internal narrative I hear when I see my reflection. You name a metric: what words do I hear in my head when I look in the mirror right now versus what I want to hear? You tap, check in, and notice whether you are closer to the outcome than you were before.

If you are closer, that session was a success, even if you are not all the way there yet. If you are not closer, that is useful information too. It might mean you need to approach the issue from a different angle, address a deeper layer of resistance, or simply give yourself more time.

The trap to avoid is treating these longer-term issues with the same urgency as an in-the-moment frustration. You would not expect one gym session to transform your body. Give your tapping practice the same patience.

How to Know You Are Done Tapping on an Issue Here is the simple three-step framework you can use every time you sit down to tap.

Name the outcome. What do I want to think, feel, believe, or do differently as a result of this tapping session?
Name the metric. How will I know I have reached that outcome? What will I notice in my body, my thoughts, or my behavior?
Check and move on. When you reach the metric, stop tapping on that issue. If you have not reached it and you have run out of time, note where you are and come back to it next session.

This process works whether you are tapping for five minutes on midday frustration or working through a years-long pattern of self-criticism. The scale changes but the structure does not.

Frequently Asked Questions Do I always need to get my SUDS level to zero? No. A SUDS level of zero is not required for a successful tapping session. The goal is to reach the functional outcome you set before you started, whether that is being able to concentrate, take a specific action, or shift an emotional pattern. Many highly effective sessions end at a three or four on the SUDS scale.

How long should a single tapping session last? There is no fixed time requirement. Some sessions take five minutes and others take thirty. The length depends on the complexity of the issue and the specific outcome you are working toward. Focus on reaching your defined goal rather than watching the clock.

What if the emotion comes back after I stop tapping? That depends on whether you completed the action you were tapping toward. If the goal was to send an email and you sent it, the fear returning does not undo the result. For longer-term patterns, returning emotions simply mean there is more work to do in future sessions.

How do I choose what to tap on when I have a long list of issues? Start by asking which issue is most affecting your ability to function right now. Tap on the issue that is blocking the most important action or causing the most immediate distress. You do not need to resolve your entire list before you get relief.

Can I tap on the same issue every day? Yes, especially for deep or layered issues like self-image, grief, or long-standing patterns. Use the same goal-and-metric framework each session and track your progress over time. You should notice gradual shifts even if individual sessions feel incremental.

What is the Subjective Unit of Distress (SUDS) scale? SUDS is a zero-to-ten self-rating scale used in EFT tapping to measure emotional or physical intensity before and after a round of tapping. Zero means no distress at all and ten means the maximum intensity you can imagine. It is a progress-tracking tool, not a mandatory endpoint.

What should I do if tapping does not seem to be working? First, check whether your tapping goal is specific enough. Vague goals like "feel better" are hard to measure. Second, try approaching the issue from a different angle or addressing a related emotion that might be underneath the surface issue.

Episode Details Tapping Q&A Podcast, Episode 699: How Long Should You Tap on an Issue? Host: Gene Monterastelli [Listen to Episode 699]

Related Episodes: - Pod #689: When Your Expectations Sabotage Your Tapping Progress - Pod #674: The Myth of the One Big Tapping Breakthrough - Pod #648: What to Do When Your Tapping Transformation Feels Slow or Stuck

If you want a simple, structured way to build a consistent tapping practice, check out 365 Tapping Lessons for a guided daily tapping experience.

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Fear is our most basic emotion. Simply put, fear is our internal guidance pointing out what might harm us so that we can stay safe. We commonly think of it in terms of fight, flight, or freeze.

All three of these responses are designed to shield us from danger. We fight to defend ourselves, we run away (flight) to avoid it, and we freeze so that the threat can't see us.

When tapping for fear, we usually use reframes around if something is truly dangerous to try to turn off the fear if there is no actual danger.

This is a great start, but deciding whether or not something is really dangerous only scratches the surface. If we stop there with our tapping, we may be missing valuable detail.

This week in the podcast, I explore the next level down: magnitude and probability.

By adding these ideas to how we assess our fears we can deepen the healing and transformation available to us through tapping.

If you are experiencing fear, anxiety, or resistance to taking action, then you will love this approach.

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You sat down to tap and nothing changed. If tapping is not working for you right now, I want you to know two things: this is normal, and there is a specific process you can follow to break through. In my 18+ years as an tapping practitioner, I have walked hundreds of clients through exactly this moment, and what I have learned is that getting stuck is not a sign that tapping has failed you. It is information, and that information has a use.

Key Takeaways * Every round of tapping produces one of three outcomes: you feel better, the intensity increases, or nothing changes. Two of those three are direct signs of progress, and the third gives you useful information about what to do next. * When tapping seems to make things worse, it means you are tuning in more accurately to what was already present beneath the surface, not that tapping caused new distress. * A six-step process (tap on the frustration, release the all-or-nothing mindset, explore the downside of healing, find the upside of staying stuck, do one minute of wordless tapping, then return to the original issue) reliably breaks through stalled rounds. * Hidden "secondary gains" from staying stuck are one of the most common reasons tapping stalls, and most people are completely unaware they exist until they ask the right questions. * Even if the original issue does not resolve immediately, working through this process removes the stress and pressure of being stuck, which often creates the clarity needed for a breakthrough.

Three Outcomes You Can Get from Any Round of Tapping Every round of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) produces exactly one of three results, and understanding all three changes how you respond when progress stalls.

The first outcome is the one we all hope for: you tap and you feel better. Your distress drops, your body relaxes, and you are moving in the right direction. You can stop there or keep going to deepen the relief.

The second outcome is that your distress actually increases. This feels like tapping is making things worse, but it is not. I will explain why in the next section.

The third outcome is that nothing changes at all. The number does not move. This is the one that makes people question whether EFT works, whether it works for everyone else but not for them, or whether their particular issue is beyond tapping's reach. But "nothing changed" is not a dead end. It is a signpost, and the six-step process below is how you read it.

Why Feeling Worse After Tapping Is Actually a Sign of Progress When intensity rises during a round of tapping, it means you are tuning in more sharply to what was already there, not that tapping created new pain.

Think of it this way. You have a knee injury, and you go through your busy day barely noticing it. You get home, sit on the couch, exhale, and suddenly your knee is throbbing. Sitting down did not injure your knee. Resting gave your body the space to send you the pain signal it had been trying to deliver all day.

Key insight: "Resting is not putting you in more pain. It is bringing attention to the issue that is already there. The same thing is true emotionally."

The same thing happens when you retell a frustrating story to a friend and feel your anger rising with each sentence. Telling the story did not create the anger. It reconnected you with emotion that was already stored in your system. So if you tap and the intensity spikes, that is not pleasant, but it means you are closer to the real issue. And being closer to the real issue means you are closer to relief.

If you have ever finished a session and felt unexpectedly sad or emotionally raw, that same principle applies. I explored exactly this in Episode 695: Why Do I Feel Sad After Tapping?, which walks through why post-session emotional shifts are signs of progress rather than problems.

What Does It Mean When Tapping Produces No Change at All? When a round of tapping produces zero shift, it means something specific is blocking the path forward, and that block can be identified and addressed.

In my experience, the block usually falls into one of two categories. Either a part of you has decided (outside your conscious awareness) that healing is risky and staying stuck is safer, or you have not yet tuned in with enough specificity to reach the real issue. Both of these are solvable. You do not need to know which one is operating before you begin. The six-step process below addresses both.

The key reframe here is this: "nothing happened" is not the same as "tapping does not work." It is the same as "I need more information." And that information is available if you ask the right questions.

If your sessions have been stalling for a longer stretch, Episode 648: What to Do When Your Tapping Transformation Feels Slow or Stuck goes deeper into diagnosing a tapping plateau when the stall has lasted weeks or months.

Step 1: Tap on Your Frustration About Tapping Not Working The first step is to tap on how you feel about the fact that it did not work. This is the step most people skip, and skipping it keeps them stuck.

You sat down with hope. You did the thing. It did not deliver. That produces real emotions: frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, maybe even a sense of betrayal if tapping has worked for you before and suddenly stopped. Those feelings are now sitting on top of whatever you originally wanted to address, and they will interfere with every subsequent round until you clear them.

So before you go back to the original issue, do one round on the meta-experience. "Right now I feel...." This is not a detour. It is clearing the road.

Step 2: Let Go of the All-or-Nothing Healing Mindset The second step is to acknowledge that healing is a process, not a single event, and to tap on the pressure you are putting on yourself to get it all done in one round.

Key insight: "Healing is not all or nothing. It is a process, and it is okay that it is a process."

When we unconsciously treat healing as a binary (either I am fixed or I have failed), a single round that produces no visible change feels like proof of failure. That framing creates enormous internal pressure. Tapping on "even though I want this to be done right now, and it is not done, and that feels like failure" releases the grip of that all-or-nothing thinking. It gives you permission to be mid-process.

This expectation trap is one of the most common things I see derail people's tapping practice. I dedicated a full episode to it in Episode 674: The Myth of the One Big Tapping Breakthrough, which explores why expecting a single dramatic shift often prevents the steady progress that is actually happening.

Step 3: Explore the Hidden Downside of Healing The third step is to ask yourself a question that sounds counterintuitive: what goes wrong if I actually heal this?

This is one of the most powerful questions in all of EFT, and the answers can be startling. I was working with a client who had chronic physical pain, and we were making zero progress. When I asked her what would go wrong if the pain healed, her answer broke my heart.

Key insight: "She said, 'Everybody who is in my life is in my life to take care of me because of my injury. If I heal, I am no longer injured, and they are all going to go away.'"

Of course her system was blocking the healing. At an unconscious level, healing meant losing every meaningful relationship in her life. That is not irrational. That is protective. Once we tapped on that specific fear, the original pain began to shift.

Your version of this might be less dramatic, but the principle is the same. If any part of you believes that healing carries a cost (lost identity, lost relationships, lost excuses, new responsibilities), that part will pump the brakes. Asking the question out loud brings the hidden cost into the open where you can tap on it directly.

The fear that tapping might actually work is more common than people realize. Episode 668: When You're Afraid Tapping Might Work goes into depth on exactly this dynamic and how to address it.

Step 4: Find the Hidden Upside of Staying Stuck The fourth step is the mirror image of Step 3: ask yourself what goes right if you do not heal.

The downside of healing and the upside of staying stuck sound like the same question, but they surface different answers. The downside of healing focuses on what you lose. The upside of staying stuck focuses on what you get to keep.

For example, maybe healing a pattern of procrastination means you would actually have to finish the project, put it into the world, and face potential criticism. The upside of staying stuck is that you never have to risk that exposure. You get to keep your free time, your safety, and your comfortable routine.

This is not a moral judgment. These hidden benefits are real and they are human. Tapping on them directly ("even though part of me likes staying stuck because it means I do not have to put myself out there") is what allows the system to release its grip.

Episode 664: Does Staying Stuck Keep You Safe? explores this exact territory in depth, including how the nervous system can interpret staying stuck as a form of protection worth defending.

Step 5: Do One Minute of Wordless Tapping After completing the first four steps, set a timer for sixty seconds and tap from point to point without saying anything at all.

Wordless tapping is a technique where you simply move through the EFT tapping points (top of head, eyebrow, side of eye, under eye, under nose, chin, collarbone, under arm) in sequence without any setup statement or reminder phrase. You have just given voice to a lot of material: frustration, all-or-nothing thinking, hidden costs, hidden benefits. Now you let your system process it without directing the conversation.

Think of it as giving your nervous system a minute to sort through everything you just stirred up. In my experience, this brief pause often produces more integration than another verbal round would.

If you find that you often struggle to know what words to use during tapping, Episode 672: How to Tap When You Don't Know What to Say covers a range of approaches for tapping without the right words, including why wordless tapping belongs in every tapper's toolkit.

Step 6: Return to the Original Issue with Fresh Eyes After completing the first five steps, tune back in to the issue you originally sat down to tap on and notice what has changed.

In many cases, the original issue will already feel different. Sometimes the intensity has dropped without you directly tapping on it, because the real block was one of the hidden layers you just addressed. Sometimes the issue now has a sharper, more specific quality, which means you are finally tuned in to the actual target instead of a vague approximation of it.

Key insight: "Even if you are not making progress on the original issue, you are eliminating all the stress, all the overwhelm, and all of the pressure about being stuck, which is going to make you feel better. And when you feel better, there is often extra clarity about what is in front of you."

Either way, you are in a fundamentally better position to tap effectively than you were before you started this process.

Why This Process Works Even When the Original Issue Persists This six-step process works because it addresses the real reason tapping stalls: unrecognized emotional layers sitting between you and the target issue.

When you clear the frustration, the perfectionism, and the hidden gains of staying stuck, you remove interference that was quietly blocking every round you attempted. Even in cases where the original issue does not fully resolve in that session, you have made genuine progress. You feel less stressed about being stuck, which is its own meaningful outcome.

In over 18 years of working with clients and producing nearly 700 episodes of the Tapping Q&A Podcast, I have seen this pattern repeat hundreds of times. The people who learn to treat a stalled round as information rather than failure are the ones who get the deepest, most lasting results from EFT.

Frequently Asked Questions How many rounds of tapping should I do before deciding it is not working? Give any single approach at least two to three focused rounds before concluding it is stalled. A single round may not be enough to fully tune in to the issue, so a lack of immediate change after one round is not yet a sign that tapping is not working for that topic.

Can tapping make anxiety or emotional pain worse? Tapping does not create new distress. When intensity rises during a round, it means you are becoming more aware of emotion that was already present but suppressed. This increased awareness is a sign of progress, not harm, and continued tapping typically brings the intensity down.

What is wordless tapping and when should I use it? Wordless tapping means moving through the standard tapping without speaking any setup statement or reminder phrase. It is useful as a processing step after several verbal rounds, giving your nervous system time to integrate what you have addressed.

What is secondary gain in EFT? Secondary gain refers to the hidden, often unconscious benefits a person receives from remaining in a stuck or symptomatic state. Examples include avoiding new responsibilities, maintaining relationships built around caretaking, or preserving a familiar identity. Addressing secondary gain directly through tapping is often the key to breaking through a plateau.

Why does tapping work for other issues but not this one? Different issues carry different layers of emotional complexity and hidden resistance. An issue that will not budge often has a secondary gain or a deeper fear attached to it that has not yet been identified. The six-step process in this article is designed to surface exactly those hidden layers.

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One of the reasons we resist taking action is that some actions simply can't be taken back. Our subconscious mind keeps us stuck because it's trying to figure out the perfect thing to do, but because the future is unknown, it's impossible to be certain. This leads us from thinking about the best choice, to stalling on making a choice, to things getting worse because we aren't doing anything at all (which is itself a choice). This kind of cycle can happen with any decision, but it's particularly likely when you're facing a choice between two options that both have downsides. When you're in that situation, the resistance is going to be higher because it feels like no matter what you choose, you lose. This week on the podcast, I share a simple tapping process that will help you take action, especially when you're faced with two choices that both feel bad. If you use this approach, not only will you break through resistance, you'll also be much happier with the choices you make.

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If you have ever finished a round of EFT tapping and felt a wave of sadness wash over you, you are not alone. Feeling sad after tapping is one of the most common experiences people report, and it is also one of the most misunderstood. That sadness is not a sign that tapping failed or that something went wrong. It is actually a signal that genuine healing just took place.

Gene Monterastelli, EFT practitioner and educator with over 17 years of experience and host of the Tapping Q&A Podcast (690+ episodes), explains exactly why this happens and what to do about it.

Key Takeaways Post-session sadness after EFT tapping is a grief response triggered by the sudden recognition of time and opportunity lost to the issue you just healed. Sadness after tapping does not mean tapping is not working; it means a shift has occurred and your system is processing what could have been different. The most effective response to post-tapping sadness is to acknowledge and witness it with additional tapping rather than trying to push through it or reframe it away. Left unaddressed, this sadness can become a subconscious barrier that prevents you from tapping in the future because your system associates tapping with feeling bad. Understanding the mechanism behind post-session sadness removes its power to interrupt your healing practice and actually deepens your tapping work.

Why Sadness After Tapping Catches People Off Guard Most people expect to feel better after tapping, not worse. When you sit down for a round of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques, a stress-reduction method that combines gentle tapping on acupressure points with focused statements), the reasonable expectation is relief. So when sadness shows up instead, it feels like a contradiction.

This expectation gap is what makes post-tapping sadness so disorienting. You did the work. You followed the process. You may have even felt a real shift on the issue you were addressing. And then sadness arrives, seemingly out of nowhere, and the natural conclusion is that something went wrong.

"It can feel like tapping's not working because you feel bad afterwards. The reality is that sadness is the sign of healing and transformation." Gene Monterastelli, EFT practitioner and host of the Tapping Q&A Podcast.

The confusion deepens because most people categorize sadness as a negative emotion. If healing is supposed to feel good, then feeling sad must mean the healing did not happen. But that logic misses what the sadness is actually pointing to.

What Causes Sadness After a Round of EFT Tapping? Post-tapping sadness is a grief response, and it follows a very specific and logical pattern. When you successfully clear a limiting belief, release a stored emotion, or heal something that has been holding you back, a new awareness opens up almost immediately. Your system recognizes that the thing you just transformed could have been transformed sooner.

Here is how the sequence works. You tap on an issue. The issue shifts or clears. In that moment of clarity, you can suddenly see all the time, all the opportunities, and all the actions that were lost because you carried that issue for as long as you did. The sadness you feel is grief for that lost time.

"What you immediately start to do is you immediately start to grieve all of the time, all of the opportunity, all of the action that was lost because you had been impacted by the thing that you had just tapped on." Gene Monterastelli.

This is not a malfunction. It is a completely natural response to a real loss. The moment healing happens, the contrast between "life with this burden" and "life without it" becomes painfully clear.

Is Sadness After Tapping a Sign That EFT Is Not Working? No. Sadness after tapping is evidence that something genuinely shifted. If nothing had changed, there would be nothing to grieve. The sadness exists precisely because healing occurred and your system can now see what that burden cost you.

Think of it this way: if you had been carrying a heavy backpack for years without realizing it, the moment someone lifts it off your shoulders, you would feel the relief. But you might also feel a pang of frustration or sadness about all the miles you walked while unnecessarily weighed down. That frustration does not mean removing the backpack was a mistake.

This distinction matters because misinterpreting post-tapping sadness can create a real obstacle. If you believe tapping made you sad, your subconscious mind files that away. The next time you consider tapping, a quiet resistance shows up: "Last time I tapped, I felt terrible. Why would I do that again?" Over time, this can erode your willingness to tap at all.

Understanding the actual cause of the sadness, which is grief over lost time rather than a failure of the technique, breaks that cycle before it starts.

How Post-Tapping Sadness Can Become a Barrier to Healing Left unexamined, post-session sadness creates a feedback loop that works against your tapping practice. The pattern looks like this: you tap, you feel sad, you associate tapping with feeling bad, you avoid tapping in the future.

This is one of the more subtle ways people stop tapping without ever making a conscious decision to quit. It is not that they decided EFT does not work. It is that their system learned to avoid the discomfort that followed the last session. The avoidance is automatic, not deliberate, which makes it harder to catch.

Gene describes this as a subconscious concern that builds quietly. You might not even articulate it as "tapping makes me sad." It might just show up as a vague reluctance, a sense that you do not feel like tapping today, or a pattern of finding reasons to skip sessions. If you have noticed your tapping practice fading without a clear reason, unprocessed sadness from previous sessions may be part of what is happening.

How to Tap on Sadness After an EFT Session The most effective approach to post-tapping sadness is to address it directly with more tapping before moving on. Rather than pushing through it, ignoring it, or treating it as a problem, give the sadness its own round.

Gene recommends a three-part process for working with this sadness:

Acknowledge the emotion. Start tapping on the side of the hand and name what is happening out loud. "After doing that tapping, I feel a lot of sadness." Simple recognition without judgment.
Acknowledge why the emotion exists. Connect the sadness to its actual source. "This sadness is here because my system recognizes that I could have healed this sooner. It is pointing to the time and opportunities that were lost."
Expand the context without dismissing the feeling. This is not about talking yourself out of sadness. The loss is real. Instead, you are adding information. "Just because healing sooner could have been better, it does not mean healing now is bad. The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today."

If the sadness is still present after one round, simply return to the beginning of the sequence and work through it again. Each pass through tends to soften the intensity.

Why You Should Witness Sadness Instead of Reframing It Sadness requires a different approach than many other emotions you might encounter during tapping. With anger, frustration, or fear, reframing and transformation are often appropriate. With sadness, the most powerful thing you can do is simply witness it.

"Sadness is something that we don't reframe and transform. Sadness is something that we witness and we acknowledge, which expands the canvas, gives us more context, and helps us to move on." Gene Monterastelli.

This distinction is important. Sadness, at its core, is the acknowledgment of something valuable that has been lost. When you try to reframe genuine grief, you are essentially telling yourself that the loss does not matter. But it does matter. The time you spent limited by old beliefs or stuck emotions was real. Honoring that reality is what allows you to move forward.

Witnessing sadness means you hold space for it, tap through it, and let it run its course without trying to convince yourself that you should not feel it. The result is not that the sadness disappears instantly. The result is that the sadness no longer has the power to stop your healing process in its tracks.

What Post-Tapping Sadness Tells You About Your Healing When you reframe post-tapping sadness as information rather than a problem, something shifts. That sadness is telling you two things: first, that real healing just happened, and second, that a part of you wants more healing and wants it sooner.

"Even though it feels like sadness, which can feel bad and heavy and gross, it is a sign that the healing has worked. And it is a sign that there is a part of us that wants more healing and sooner healing." Gene Monterastelli.

That is worth sitting with. The very part of you that feels sad is the part that recognizes the value of what just happened and wants to keep going. It is not a saboteur. It is an ally with an uncomfortable delivery method.

When you clear the sadness with a round of tapping, two things happen. First, you create space to continue your session and work on what comes next rather than stopping mid-stream. Second, you dissolve the subconscious association between tapping and feeling bad, which protects your long-term willingness to keep tapping.

If you want a daily practice that builds this kind of momentum, the 365 Tapping Lessons journal offers a bite-sized structure with a short teaching, one round of tapping, and a reflection question each day, designed to move you from knowing about tapping to actually tapping consistently.

Frequently Asked Questions Is it normal to cry after tapping? Yes. Crying after EFT tapping is a common and healthy emotional release. It often signals that stored emotions are surfacing and moving through your system, which is a sign that the tapping is reaching the deeper layers of the issue you are working on.

Does feeling worse after tapping mean it is not working? No. Feeling temporarily worse, including experiencing sadness, fatigue, or heightened emotion, often indicates that tapping has activated something significant. The discomfort typically comes from processing a shift, not from the technique failing. If the feeling persists, it usually means there is more to tap on rather than a reason to stop.

Why do I feel drained or exhausted after EFT? Emotional processing takes energy. When tapping clears a long-held belief or stored emotion, your system may need time to integrate the change. This is similar to the fatigue you might feel after a deep therapy session or a major emotional conversation. Rest, hydrate, and give yourself time.

Should I keep tapping when sadness comes up? Yes. The most effective response is to pause your original topic and do a round of tapping specifically on the sadness itself. Acknowledge it, name its source (grief over lost time), and gently expand the context. Then return to your original issue once the sadness has softened.

How long does post-tapping sadness usually last? For most people, one or two targeted rounds of tapping on the sadness itself is enough to move through it. The intensity tends to diminish quickly once you recognize what the sadness is actually about. If it lingers for days, that may indicate a deeper grief that deserves its own focused attention.

Can tapping bring up emotions I was not expecting? Absolutely. EFT often surfaces emotions that have been stored beneath the issue you set out to work on. Sadness, anger, fear, and even relief can show up unexpectedly. This is not a sign of a problem. It is your system showing you the next layer that needs attention.

What is the difference between sadness from tapping and a healing crisis? Post-tapping sadness is a specific grief response tied to recognizing lost time and opportunity. It is focused, understandable, and resolves relatively quickly with acknowledgment. A healing crisis typically involves a broader intensification of symptoms across multiple areas. If you are unsure, work with a qualified EFT practitioner who can help you navigate what is coming up.

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The perfect time to tap is in the moment, when you are overwhelmed with emotions…and it is also the hardest time to remember to tap.

That's mainly because remembering to tap in the midst of strong emotions is difficult, but it is not the only reason.

The second, powerful reason why you don't tap in the moment has everything to do with how you were taught to tap.

When most of us learned to tap, we were told that we "need to be as specific as possible". This is excellent advice, so much so it is now scientifically valid advice .

The problem is not the advice, it is how our subconscious hears this advice. What we say is "be as specific as possible". What our subconscious hears is "tapping only works if I am specific."

In the midst of overwhelming emotions it is hard to be specific, so the subconscious resists tapping at all because it doesn't think it will work.

Listen to this week's podcast to learn exactly how I overcame this subconscious resistance, which was something I faced too.

Implementing this one idea will not only get you to tap more in the moment, it will also super charge any other tapping you do.

This concept transformed how I tap AND how I think about tapping. I know you will love it.

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One of the conundrums of tapping is the fact that you tap because you want to feel better, but you aren't as good at tapping when you feel bad because you are in a lower resource state.

To put it another way, when you need tapping the most, you are the least effective version of yourself as a tapper.

But just because you aren't at the peak of your tapping abilities does not mean you are destined to fail when you sit down to tap.

This week in the podcast, I share a simple game plan where I teach you:

what you can do ahead of time to tap effectively when you feel bad
the first thing you should tap on when you don't feel great
the second thing you should tap on right after that
how to continue your tapping session to get the most out of it

Having a plan for those times when you're not at your best is key for getting help when you most need it. And the best time to learn this is right now!

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It is all too common for tappers to look back at their path to healing and think, "What on earth was I doing? I know better than that! Why do I keep making bad choices when I know exactly what to do?"

This comes up most often in my individual coaching sessions when my clients talk about reaching for distracting behaviors instead of tapping.

They know at the moment that the best choice would be to tap, but instead they doomscroll social media, fall down YouTube rabbit holes, reorganize their spice rack (again), or mindlessly eat a bunch of unhealthy crap.

Annoyingly, this does make sense, taken from the perspective of trying to keep themselves safe. Actor and writer Tom Lennon described it perfectly in an interview by Kevin Pollak on a book tour. When Kevin asked if he liked to write, Tom said something to the effect of, "You will know I have a writing deadline coming up because my kitchen floor will be so clean you could perform surgery on it."

We do not choose distractions because we are weak, or because we believe they are the best choice. We choose them to feel more comfortable at the moment.

The problem is that, in hindsight, we only see that we could have made a healthier choice.

When I find myself in these moments, I don't tap to stop the unhealthy behavior. I actually do the opposite! I tap to do the unhealthy behavior, but the key distinction is I am choosing to do it consciously.

When we move from being unconscious to a conscious awareness of our distracting behaviors, we regain control. And with control we can spend less (or even no) time on distracting behaviors and we don't beat ourselves up.

In this week's podcast I am going to show you:

How to catch yourself in the moment right before you unconsciously start doing the healthy action
How to tap with compassion in the moment, without letting yourself off the hook
How to tap so that you constrain (and often eliminate) the unhealthy behavior

It is an unusual but incredibly powerful form of tapping.

I know you will love it!

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If you are tapping, it almost always means you are focusing on something negative, like challenging emotions, physical pain, difficult times from your past, or limiting beliefs.

This makes a lot of sense because tapping is a powerful tool for bringing about change and transformation.

But just because tapping is great at responding to life's difficulties does not mean it's the only way to tap. Tapping for celebration is another great use for tapping that most of us miss.

As we celebrate seventeen years of the Tapping Q&A Podcast this week, I share with you why you are missing out if you are not tapping while celebrating.

The podcast covers how tapping for celebration:

Accelerates your healing
Encourages you to tap more
Changes the way you feel in the moment beyond just relieving pain or discomfort

You may not have experienced this type of tapping before, but after this episode, you will want to use it much more often!

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When most of us first learned tapping we were taught to be "as specific as possible" when coming up with tapping phrases. This is sound advice, which is backed up by scientific research.

But your success with tapping relies on more than just the words you say and what you focus on when you are tapping. How you feel in the moment has just as much impact on your tapping success.

And when I say "how you feel" I don't mean the emotions you are feeling in the moment that you are tapping on. Rather, I am referring to every part of your resource state.

Your resource state includes whether you are tired or rested, if you are sick, if you are in a quiet place where you can focus, if you are well hydrated, and when you last ate, to name just a few.

It is something that most tappers miss and failing to take your resource state into account when you are tapping could be setting you up for disappointment and frustration.

This week in the podcast we explore:

How to assess your resource before you start to tap
How to create realistic expectations for your tapping
How to improve your resource state in the moment so you can get more out of your tapping

Once you understand how your resource state impacts your tapping, it will be easy for you to transform both your expectations and your resource state.

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One of the most powerful tools in the healing and transformational tool box is having clear goals.

This is true in big picture ways, such as what I would like to achieve this year, and small picture ways, such as what I would like to get out of this next round of tapping.

I believe in this idea so deeply that in my Tapping Mastery Blueprint I teach the first thing you should do before starting to tap is to ask yourself the question "What is the goal of this round of tapping?"

Although goals are powerful, sometimes they can get in the way of your healing and transformation. This happens when your goals are too big for the moment. Too much pressure and expectation can become measuring sticks for failing, killing off your motivation.

This week in the podcast I share:

How goals and expectations can hinder our progress
How to spot when this is happening to you
How to tap to release feelings of frustration and failure

This is not about radically transforming your tapping goals, but how to recalibrate them in such a way that you tap more and get more out of each round of tapping.

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One of the concepts I talk about daily with my clients and students is that the goal of tapping is a proportionate well informed emotional response.

In most cases this is a process of giving the emotions space to be heard and understood. Once we know where the emotional response is coming from it creates the space for use to heal, transform, and create a proportionate well informed emotional response.

One of the reasons why we love tapping is because it is so good at helping us to do exactly that.

With that being said, sometimes it is best for us to not feel our emotions.

I know that might sound a little bit radical, but whole heartedly believe it.

This week in the podcast I explore the times when it is healthy and useful to tap in a way in which we aren't clearing our emotions, but instead we are putting a lid on them (for now).

Even if you are skeptical of this idea, I would encourage you to give this tapping a try and then decide if it is a good fit for your healing journey.

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One of the most frustrating experiences around personal healing and transformation is when we know what we need to do, how to do it, have everything we need to take action (including time and energy), really want to take the action...and then we don't.

When this happens, we feel we have failed and let ourselves down, and might even decide we are unworthy of healing and transformation because we have failed and "can't be trusted".

There is a simple reason this pattern keeps appearing in your life: Your inner child is running the show.

As a child you were not in control of what you did, when you did it, who you did it with, what you wore and ate, when you went to bed, and the list goes on.

Today, when you decide you want to do something healthy, your inner child screams "I don't wannaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Now that you are an adult, supposedly in control of your actions, your inner child ends up in the driving seat and getting its way.

This week in the podcast I will show you how to tap to get your inner child on board so that you can stop being your biggest obstacle to success.

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Seeing others succeed can be a powerful source of inspiration. Once we know something is possible for others, then it also becomes possible for us.

Take the sub-four-minute mile for example. At one point, it was thought impossible for a human to run a mile in less than four minutes and that pushing so hard would cause the runner's heart to explode.

On May 6th, 1954 Roger Bannister was the first person to run a sub-four-minute mile. Less than six weeks later John Landy not only ran a sub-four-minute mile, he beat Bannister's time.

Something went from being impossible, to being done, to having other people doing it.

While it can be encouraging to see others enjoy success, sometimes that becomes a tool for us to beat ourselves up emotionally.

We see that we are working as hard, if not harder, than others and yet we are not having success.

This can lead us to question our effort, our ability, or whether success is even possible for us. Other people's success just highlights our own failure and we feel defeated rather than encouraged.

This week in the podcast we tap for those times where we feel we have failed because we aren't having the same success as those we see around us.

If you have ever felt like you are working as hard (if not harder) as the people around you and there must be something wrong with you because you are not getting the results you want, then this week's podcast was recorded just for you.

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One of the most common teachings in healing and personal transformation is the value and importance of gratitude.

So much so that the idea of establishing a "gratitude practice" for yourself feels commonplace.

The power of experiencing thankfulness and gratitude is unquestionably powerful. It can impact the way we feel in the moment and it can transform the way we act.

The problem is that most people don't talk about the dark side of practising gratitude. To be clear, I am not saying there is an issue with the feeling of gratitude, but instead that establishing a regular gratitude practice can bring up emotional distress that gets in the way of healing and transformation.

This week in the podcast I share the hidden pitfalls of a gratitude practice and how you can move yours from feeling like a chore to something that nurtures your healing and growth.

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One of the most common reasons people do not tap more is because they don't know where to start. Feeling uncertain produces a subconscious hesitancy because our subconscious is worried that we will waste time and energy going in the wrong direction.

This isn't a conscious thought, but a background resistance that creates two problems.

First, we don't tap as often as we would like. Second, we then beat ourselves up for not tapping because there is no clear and obvious reason why we aren't tapping.

This week in the podcast I share with you a simple two-step process that will take you less than 45 seconds. Try it out to get more out of each round of tapping and to help you to tap more.

The process will:

create focus for the round of tapping
provide guidance on what to tap on next
show you when you are done
guide you in planning for future tapping rounds

This is a transformative process and I feel confident that once you see its power, you will use it every time you tap in the future.

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The start of a new year feels like the perfect time to reset and refocus.

This often takes the form of New Year's resolutions. There is a great power in making a clear statement about what you want and why you want it.

The problem is (and I'm sure you have experienced this yourself), simply making a resolution does not guarantee success. That's why the first Friday of January is often referred to as Quitter's Day because it is when most people ditch their resolutions.

Making the decision for a fresh start is not the problem. Thinking a resolution is enough is the problem.

To achieve positive change in the new year we need a structure that supports our growth and clears any emotional resistance in the way of our goals.

This week in the podcast I share a simple process that will shift you from toothless New Year's resolutions into creating meaningful change.

Listen to learn how to create a compelling goal that you can buy into emotionally AND a simple process to help you to tap for all the resistance that comes up.

Ten minutes of tapping a day will create a whole new world for you.

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Join us for the 5 Day Limiting Belief Challenge: http://ClearLimitingBeliefsChallenge.com

On January 1st, I went live on YouTube with some tapping to start the new year off on the best foot possible.

We tapped for:

releasing what no longer serves us
being open to grace and opportunity in the new year
staying grounded in the moment, without being in a rush
opening ourselves up to inspiration and growth in the months ahead
and so much more...

I hope you enjoy this tapping as you begin 2026.

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In what has become a holiday tradition at Tapping Q&A, each year during the holiday season I put together a cozy tapping video.

There are no words and you don't need to focus on an issue.

Instead, just sit back, watch the roaring fire, and tap along.

We did this last year and I was surprised at how well it was received. I knew a few people would like it, but I had no clue how popular it would be.

The link to the video is below. Click play and just from tapping point to tapping point at your own pace.

It is really that simple.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

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The "fear of missing out" (FOMO) isn't just some clever internet meme.

FOMO is a real issue and it impacts most of us.

Because of the internet and social media, we are constantly aware of what is going on everywhere. This creates a number of problems.

First, it creates a sense of compare-anoia where we are judging ourselves against everyone else.

Then, after we feel bad for not having what others have, we try to fill the gap in our own lives. Unfortunately, time is a zero-sum-game and means that if you are doing one thing, you can't be doing anything else.

This leads us to adding so many things to our lives that we are stretched too thin, overwhelmed, and aren't enjoying anything we are doing.

This week in the podcast, I share a simple framework to help you to tap for FOMO in a way that makes you feel better in the moment and prevents it from showing up in the future.

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Whenever I hear the Andy Williams song "It's the most wonderful time of the year," I am immediately transported to my childhood, driving around town at night in the snow looking at all of the holiday lights.

But the reality is, even in the best of times, the holidays can be overly busy and demanding.

For many, it is actually a time of stress, overwhelm, and grief. In the last week alone, I tapped with seven different clients around holiday and family holiday issues.

This week in the podcast we are doing lots of tapping for holiday stress.

We tap for:

1:25 Being too busy and tired to enjoy the holiday
5:20 Grief and sadness that comes with the season
11:00 Stress that comes with spending time with difficult family members
14:55 Slowing down enough to experience blessings and joy

This is one you are going to want to bookmark to help you through the coming weeks.

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I often joke with my clients and students that a part of all of us would like total, instant and eternal transformation every time we sit down to tap.

It is good that we have high standards and want only the best.

BUT, as we know, it doesn't always happen that way. A part of us also understands that healing is a process and sometimes it is healthiest and best for us when it unfolds slowly in order to take deep root.

When thinking about transformation as a process, we often only consider the speed at which it happens or the number of steps involved.

In addition to that, another factor impacts our rate of healing and that is the season that we are in.

When I say "season" I don't mean spring or summer AND I don't mean the season of our life, as in being "in the autumn of your life" meaning that you are aging.

Instead, we have seasons of growth, of healing, of rest, or of recovery, to name just a few. These seasons influence what type of healing we are able to experience at any given period in our lives.

You already have a sense of this in your own life. For example, you wouldn't start a major kitchen remodeling project the week before you take a three-week European vacation.

There is a time and a season for transformation. In this week's podcast, we explore what this means, how to determine what season you are in, and how to proceed with your tapping once you have clarity about this.

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As humans, one of the things we are very good at is naming everything that is wrong with our lives.

On one level, this is a useful tool because it allows us to identify what we would like to change.

The problem is that just because we know what we don't want, does not give us clarity about what we do want. Or, if we have clarity, it doesn't mean we know how to create it.

Whenever we experience a lack of clarity around our goals, or how to achieve them, it creates mass resistance to taking action. This is because our subconscious mind doesn't want to waste time and energy pursuing something that might not work out.

This week in the podcast, I share a straightforward but powerful tool that will help you to make progress towards whatever goal you are working on in a gentle and authentic way.

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One of the biggest obstacles to tapping is knowing where to start. This is especially true when we know we are feeling something, but we can't quite put our finger on what that is.

We might feel heavy or unsettled, or there is just something there at the edge of our consciousness.

When this happens it can be hard to tap. We might start tapping and then peter out because it is hard to focus on something vague.

This week in the podcast I am sharing a straightforward tool that I use when I am not sure how I am feeling. It takes advantage of the Feelings and Needs Inventory from the Center for Nonviolent Communications.

Although this tool is simple, don't underestimate its power.

Download the Feelings and Needs Inventory free

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One of the hardest phrases to say outloud is "I love and accept myself".

The reason this phrase is so hard to say outloud is because we know ourselves. We know our failings. We know our mistakes. We know where we have fallen short.

To say "I love and accept myself" feels like I am also accepting all of those failing and imperfections.

Recently I was talking to my friend Brad Yates and we were talking about why self acceptance is so hard. He said something along the lines of "We believe if we just fixed ourselves then we can accept ourselves. It is the other way around, healing begins with self acceptance."

Recently I have been trying a new self acceptance tapping practice.

It is the single scariest tapping practice I have ever done. The idea came from a podcast interview with the rapper and musician MAVI done by Jesse Thorn on the podcast Bullseye.

He talked about a practice had started doing where he was saying nice things about himself while doing something else. This "something else" takes self acceptance to a whole new level.

For the last few months I have been doing this practice a few times a week while adding tapping.

It is the single scariest tapping practice I have ever done. The first time I tried it I could barely do it for 30 seconds.

This week in the podcast I share:

What the practice is
How it has transformed the way I see myself (in great ways)
How you can do something similar without having to go to the extreme that I have

Even if you don't try this, you are going to want to listen to this as it will help you to transform your relationship with yourself.

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One of the healthiest changes that has happened in the tapping world over the last decade is that we spend less time talking about the one-minute or one-session miracles.

This sort of instant transformation does happen and it happens regularly. It just doesn't happen all the time!

The reason I am happy that we no longer talk in those terms is because it creates unrealistic expectations for tapping. Assuming that tapping always works quickly means that when it doesn't, we think we are doing something wrong, or tapping doesn't work, or it won't work for our particular issue.

Even with a healthy expectation of the speed of healing and transformation, we can still hold unrealistic hopes for a round of tapping or the healing process.

This week in the podcast, we look at the rate of healing, how we can measure it to gauge whether we are on the right track and how to avoid creating unrealistic (and harmful) expectations.

If you have a regular tapping practice, I highly recommend listening to this episode.

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As a tool, tapping is such a powerful way to tune in to our emotions. Feeling, processing, and moving through emotions is a key part of the healing and transformational experience.

At the same time, there is a certain capacity to our emotional experience. Feeling deeply is a powerful part of transformation until it becomes too much.

I have often heard my clients describing this experience like trying to drink from a fire hose. It is just too much, too fast.

It can be scary and disorienting to feel completely overwhelmed in this way. After experiencing your emotions getting the better of you will mean that you learn to be on guard.

It is good for us to be wary unless it means we become so cautious that we stop moving forward in our healing journey.

This week in the podcast, I share with you what to do when the fear of being too emotional is holding back your healing. Using this process means you can strike a balance between not being overwhelmed and allowing deep and powerful healing to take place.

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You know you'd benefit from some tapping, so you sit down ready to get into it. You want it to work…but as soon as you start, your mind goes blank. You freeze because you can't think of the right words to use. After a few minutes, you give up, thinking you must be doing it wrong.

This happens to everyone, even experienced tappers, and I want to reassure you that it does not mean you are bad at tapping.

Why Your Mind Goes Blank Several things cause a freeze response. Feeling overwhelmed leads to mental shutdown. Trying to get it "right" creates performance pressure. Fear of going too deep triggers protection mode. Past experiences with scripted tapping have taught you that precision equals success.

Your internal voice tells you: "I should know what to say by now. But if I don't have the perfect words, this won't work."

This thinking is all wrong.

Words Are Not the Magic The tapping itself is the power that creates transformation, not the specific words. Tapping works by calming your nervous system and changing how your body holds stress. Even neutral or vague words will activate the healing process.

Your goal is presence, not poetry.

What to Do When You Go Blank Listen to this week's podcast to learn the three simple approaches you can use when you sit down to tap and don't know what to say. All three approaches are easy to master and even if you learn just one, it will make a huge difference in the efficacy of your tapping sessions, how long you tap, and how often you tap.

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brutal truth nobody talks about in the self-help world: The healing and transformational work never ends. Every breakthrough just reveals a fresh layer of issues to be worked through.

It would be wonderful if one day I was done, but I am open to the fact that it's an ongoing process.

For me, the single toughest place in the transformational and healing process is when I feel like I am starting over again. And calling it tough is an understatement.

Finding myself back at the beginning is frustrating, disappointing, demoralizing, devastating and, for me, the worst part is the shame I feel.

My shame is because it feels like such a personal failing. I know what to do, I know how to do it, I was doing the work, and now that I am back at the beginning, there is only one person to blame: ME!

This week in the podcast I am sharing what I've learned after years of experiencing this cycle myself and seeing it in my clients. It will shift your whole perspective, helping you to get your mojo back to do the work and reinforce all the work you have already done, so you don't end up in the same place again.

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When you have been through something hard, such as grief, trauma, or a season of disconnection in your life, it is easy to forget what wholeness feels like. You lose touch with the part of you that still knows peace, still feels love, and still remembers who you were before the story changed.

In this episode, I talk with Sarah Tobin about what it means to remember yourself. Not in a vague or inspirational way, but as an intentional, embodied healing process.

Sarah’s journey with tapping began after the loss of her daughter. What followed was a deep and personal transformation that led her to write a book designed to help others reconnect with themselves. This is not just about feeling better, it is about living more truthfully.

Sarah makes a clear case for tapping as a spiritual tool that is well beyond its use as a tool for emotional regulation. We explore how healing is both an act of self-compassion and a choice to take responsibility for your path forward.

Key Takeaways From the Conversation:

Tapping helps you come home to yourself Sarah explains how trauma creates layers of belief and protection that separate you from your core. Tapping helps release those layers so you can reconnect with what is already whole inside you.
Your stories shape your world You can change them. Most of the beliefs you live by were created early and without your awareness. Sarah shares how to trace these beliefs back to their origin, question them, and choose something different.
Ego is not your enemy Instead of fighting resistance, Sarah teaches people to invite the ego into the healing process. Tapping with the ego helps reduce fear and brings internal safety, which makes deeper change easier.
Healing is your responsibility, not your fault This part of the conversation speaks directly to anyone who has blamed themselves for their pain. Sarah offers a more honest view. You did not cause your suffering, but your healing is something you have the power to choose.
Grief and love can exist together Sarah’s story is rooted in personal loss. Her book is more than a tool. It is a lived offering of what happens when you let your pain become a path to deeper connection and purpose.

Sarah’s clarity and presence offer something rare. If you have ever felt stuck in your healing or unsure how to move forward, this conversation gives you a place to begin.

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Guest: Sarah Tobin

*Contact: Book - Tapping Into You: Transform trauma and rediscover your inner power through EFT; web TappingWithSarahTobin.com/

About: Sarah Tobin is an Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Therapist and Trainer, who works with her clients all over the world to help them release birth trauma, ancestral trauma, limiting beliefs and emotional blocks. She hosts corporate workshops teaching EFT as a self-management tool for stress, anxiety and overwhelm.

Sarah also runs an online membership and community called 'Tapping into You’, which supports over 100 members from Alaska to Florida, UK and Ireland with tapping videos, audio meditations, workshops, courses and more. She also hosts the Tapping into Podcast, which explores spiritual and alternative practices that can change lives.

Sarah is passionate about helping her clients to tap into their true selves and find their path of personal growth and transformation. With the use of EFT, she helps people to reduce symptoms of anxiety, PND, depression, PTSD and physical pain. She also works with her clients to increase energy levels and improve sleep through the release of stress.

Sarah believes in creating lasting change by combining powerful techniques with gentle compassion and unconditional love. Her mission is to empower her clients to become their own healers and create a life they truly love living.a

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When you were first taught how to tap, more than likely you were asked to tune in to your issue in some form or fashion. You might have been asked to describe where you feel it in your body, what it reminds you of, or to rate its intensity on a 0–10 scale.

These are all great ways for us to focus our attention, which improves the value of each round of tapping.

While these ways work well, they all assume that we can identify an issue to tune in to, even if it is something small.

But what happens when it feels like there is nothing to grasp? You know there is an issue but when you sit down to tap for it there is nothing to tune in to. There are no memories, no physical sensations, or anything at all. Sometimes we draw a blank, or even just feel numb.

When this happens and we have no focus, it is much harder to start tapping. In this week's podcast I share how to start tapping when you are feeling nothing so that you aren't wasting your time or effort.

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I know this sounds strange, but you’re not afraid tapping won’t work. You’re actually afraid it might.

In this episode, I dig into a truth that has come up repeatedly in my conversations with clients and students. Even when we know how powerful tapping can be, something inside stops us from doing it as often as we could. That something, I’ve come to realize, is fear of change itself.

It’s not that we don’t want to heal and to experience the change it brings. But even positive change feels uncertain and uncertainty feels unsafe to the subconscious, which is always on alert for what might go wrong. So instead of leaning in, we hesitate. We stay stuck.

This week, I share a simple, powerful way to get underneath that resistance. It starts with just one sentence: Even though I know it’s not logically true, emotionally it feels unsafe to be successful because...

That single prompt can open up space where you feel stuck, even if nothing else has worked before.

Not only do I explain how using the phrase is the key to unlocking our resistance to tap, we also do a bunch of tapping so you clear that resistance right now.

If you’ve been meaning to tap more but just haven’t been able to start, I hope this episode gives you the nudge and permission to begin again.

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One of the most common questions I receive is "Can we use tapping to help the animals we love?"

The answer is a resounding YES!

But in order for tapping to work well, we first need to know the most useful approach.

Tapping for our animals isn't just a matter of looking at our animals and tapping. While that can be useful, there are better ways to get results.

This week in the podcast, I am going to share with you the surprising place it's best to start when tapping for the animals in our lives.

Then I will reach you with a simple three-step framework that I use every time I am tapping for animals.

If you find this approach useful, please join me for a deeper dive into the topic on Sunday, August 3rd at 2 PM Eastern US. Full details and sign up here: http://TappingForPets.com

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One of my favorite questions when interviewing someone about their tapping journey is, "If you could share one piece of advice with your younger self, what would that advice be?"

For some reason I was reflecting on that question recently, not for someone I was interviewing, but for myself.

The piece of advice that I would give to Gene-the-beginner-tapper would be to go more slowly.

This week in the podcast, I share four different ways that I now move more slowly when I am tapping on my own or with clients. All four of them have transformed the way I tap for the better.

Not only do I think these ideas would be useful for the younger version of myself, but I know that they will make your tapping more effective as well!

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Finding a balance between taking responsibility for our lives and taking too much responsibility for what is going on is a tricky matter.

Taking too much responsibility may seem like a silly notion, but it can happen in many ways.

One of these ways is when we refuse to allow ourselves grace or forgiveness. We recognize that we have made a mistake and then, whether consciously or unconsciously, we decide that we are not allowed to get past it.

As part of our penance we beat ourselves up, thinking it will lead to us making better choices in the future. When we think about the context of the mistake we think, "That is just an excuse. I should have done better!"

It is possible for us to know that we could have done better AND to recognize the context at the same time. We aren't making an excuse when we do this, but we are giving an explanation.

In this week's podcast, I explore the difference between excuses and explanations. Understanding the key difference between the two will help to find a path that includes both taking responsibility and offering ourselves grace.

Not understanding the difference will keep us stuck.

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One of the ideas that really makes my clients bristle is the possibility that their self-sabotaging behaviors are guided by their system's well-meaning intention to keep them safe.

They question, "How is it possible that my subconscious mind thinks it is trying to keep me safe when all it is doing is making my life harder?"

That is a great question because it feels counterintuitive that our desire to be safe is actually holding back our progress.

This week in the podcast, we explore why the subconscious mind gets in the way in trying to keep us safe AND the first step to overcoming this common issue.

I believe that this is one of the most important concepts in all of tapping and if you aren't doing it, you are slowing your progress and also limiting your tapping results.

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For some issues, tracking progress is simple.

I can tell if my desk is less cluttered, if I can lift more weight while working out, or if I am making more sales in my business.

That is because these examples are measured in hard metrics, or in other words, cold, hard numbers.

Changes that are measured in soft metrics are more difficult to track. For example, it is much harder to quantify growth in my self-esteem or confidence.

Much of the transformation we are trying to achieve with tapping is measured in soft metrics. Because it is hard to measure, it can escape our notice and therefore is more likely to be missed. And that results in us thinking that change isn't happening at all, because we don't see it.

This can undermine our healing and can demotivate us from tapping more.

In this week's podcast, we explore three simple ways we can more accurately track soft metrics and recognize our progress. In turn, this leads to more tapping, which (most importantly) results in more healing and transformation.

This understanding changed the way I tapped forever because it means I am tapping more, leading to more transformation.

I believe these three measures are something every tapper should have in their transformational tool box.

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One of our biggest struggles in creating transformation and change in our lives is those moments where we know WHAT to do, we know HOW to do it, and we know WHY it is valuable to take an action…and yet we just don't.

It is obvious what the next step is and for some reason we don't take it.

Then, as a bonus, we beat ourselves up for not taking action. So as well as not moving forward, we feel bad for letting ourselves down.

This week in the podcast we explore where this resistance comes from, how to overcome it and (just as importantly) we will tap for all the emotions that come up when we let ourselves down.

If you are trying to create change in your life, then you must listen to this episode.

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One of Marianne Williamson's most cited quotes starts "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

It is quoted so often because of how deeply it resonates, speaking directly to the contradiction that is part of our lived human experience.

On one hand we want to live an authentic and rich life…on the other hand, our subconscious mind just wants us to be safe.

This desire to be safe keeps us small because if we are small, then we aren't seen, and if we aren't seen, then we are safe.

This week in the podcast, we explore the three biggest subconscious fears that keep us small and we do lots of tapping to clear those resistances.

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Letting ourselves down is one of the deepest betrayals that we humans can experience.

It feels like such a harsh gut punch when it is something we know we should have been able to do.

After we let ourselves down in such a powerful way, our subconscious will do everything in its power, through resistance to take action so as to keep us safe. It reasons that since it was so painful to let ourselves down, the way to avoid that pain in the future is simply not to commit to something better.

Intellectually we know this is a bad plan, but the resistance will persist, trying (and often succeeding) to hold us back.

This week in the podcast we look at why we created this resistance, how to overcome it in the moment, and how to avoid it in the future.

If you are serious about healing and transformation, clearing the resistance to making commitments to yourself is essential.

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The words change and improve are very close in meaning.

While both are associated with transformation, they do not mean exactly the same thing.

Improvement is about keeping something but doing it in a better way; change is about doing something in a new way.

In the transformational arena we long for change, but in doing this we sometimes diminish the value of improvement.

This week in the podcast, I explore the difference between these two ideas, when we should seek to improve or to change, and how best to bring these goals to our tapping practice.

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Not all stress is created equal.

There are those hyper stressful times, like driving on icy roads in a snowstorm at rush hour. It is super intense in the moment and then when it ends, it is over!

Then there is the low-grade stress of something that is taking a long time and is hanging over your head. The example I think of from my own life is doing my business taxes.

I'm not especially good at doing my taxes because I only look at the task once a year; it is also a big deal and if I make a mistake, there can be major consequences. This is a stress that is ever-present and feels oppressive, but is not all-consuming. It also doesn't last forever because at some point my taxes will be filed and I will be able to move on…until the next year!

Finally, there is the type of stress that never seems to end. When thinking about this type of stress, I think about a postal worker sorting mail.

No matter how hard they work, there will always be more mail coming down the conveyor belt for them to sort. There is the pressure of needing to get their task done quickly, because more mail is coming, AND there is the stress of there being no end in sight.

Of the three types of stress listed above, the third is by far the hardest to tap for.

This week in the podcast, I share with you how I tap for issues (not just stress) that will always be there.

It works for stress, feeling overwhelmed, and persistent physical issues, to name just a few common issues.

Because straightforward tapping doesn't work well for this type of stress, we are unlikely to tap for these issues because it feels fruitless.

The simple process I share in this week's podcast is one you must know.

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One of the most consistent struggles my clients have is coming up with the "right" words.

The problem is there is no such thing as the right words when it comes to tapping. Instead there are useful words and unuseful words.

I am consistently surprised at some of the types of words that end up being useful. One such type of surprising words is when we are tapping on phrases that we intellectually know not to be true.

When I ask my clients to tap on phrases that they know aren't true this is natural resistance. One on level it doesn't feel logical and on another there can be the fear that we are tapping in something bad or untrue.

This week in the podcast I explore the power of tapping on phrases that we know intellectually are untrue and how to get the most out of doing exactly that.

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Grief is unlike all other emotions when it comes to tapping.

Every other negative emotion is something we can step out of.

I can stop feeling angry, frustrated, or overwhelmed.

Grief on the other hand is something that we are going to feel forever. Twenty years after a loved one has died we are still going to feel pangs of grief.

Instead of leaving grief, we have an evolving relationship to it and how we live with it.

Because this is the case it requires a different approach when we are tapping.

This week in the podcast I explore the unique nature of grief and how you can use tapping to heal our relationship to it.

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We often refer to tapping for stress and feeling overwhelmed as emotional first aid. That is because we are applying a tool for quick relief in the moment in the same way we would use first aid for a physical injury.

But there is one key difference between first aid and emotional first aid.

When we are physically injured, our first thought is "I need to take care of this right now!" When we need emotional first aid, we are so caught up in our emotions that we don't realize we need to do something about what we are feeling.

Listen to this week's podcast to learn how to use tapping as an emotional first aid tool and how to ensure you reach for tapping in the moments you most need it.

Because it doesn't do you any good to know how to tap for stress, but don't actually do it! Following these simple steps will ensure you tap more and short circuit stress and overwhelm promptly.

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A number of years ago I was visiting my friend "Mike" and his family.

Mike asked his youngest son, who was about five at the time, to tidy his room before dinner.

His son replied, in the most overwrought and dramatic voice possible, "But whyyyyyyyyyyyy? I am just going to make it messy again!"

I can relate!

There are SO MANY tasks on my to-do list that I dislike doing and there are even some that I despise.

In this week's podcast, I share some simple ways you can clear your resistance to doing the tasks you despise.

I can't promise that tapping will make those tasks enjoyable, but you will get more done and you won't have those dreaded tasks hanging over you any longer.

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There is a huge difference between bouncing back from being tired and being exhausted.

When we are tired, we simply need to refill our tank.

When we are exhausted, we first have to recover from being exhausted before we can even consider refilling our tank.

In this week's podcast, I share seven simple ways you can help yourself when you are feeling exhausted or emotionally drained.

And the great thing about these seven ideas is that you don't have to do them all in order to bounce back. Instead, you can pick and choose the two or three that work best for you.

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One of the hardest parts of being a caring person is witnessing others in pain.

When we see someone struggling, it feels natural to want to step in and help.

With that being said, there is a fine line between being helpful and taking responsibility for someone else's suffering.

This becomes doubly hard where emotional burdens are concerned. While we might be able to assist with practical struggles, we can't pick up someone else's emotional struggle.

In this week's podcast I explore:

Why we are prone to picking up other people's emotional burdens
How to release these burdens without feeling unkind or selfish
How to avoid picking up the emotional burdens of others in the future

If you care deeply about others but often find yourself overwhelmed by their emotions, this episode is for you.

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There is this moment in every tapper's life when we move from "This tapping thing is amazing" to "Oh my goodness there are soooooo many issues for me to tap on. Every time I clear one issue I find four more!"

It's easy to feel frustrated and demotivated when this happens.

You might even stop tapping altogether because it feels like the tapping is creating more problems than it is solving (when we know it is really just uncovering what is already there).

This week in the podcast, I share with you what I do when I feel overwhelmed with all the work I need to do and the fact that there seem to be so many emotions.

By tapping in this way we can move from feeling overwhelmed by our emotions, to recognizing it is just one more step on our healing journey.

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Over the years, so many of my clients and students have told me that two of the biggest obstacles preventing them from sitting down to tap are having too many issues so that they don't know where to start, and the fear that their emotions will be too big to handle when tapping.

It makes total sense that these obstacles make it hard for us to tap because they are both rooted in our subconscious mind's wish to keep us safe.

When it comes to having too many issues, the subconscious mind is worried about us wasting time. It is concerned that we are going to pick the wrong issues or an issue that will not make a big difference. Even though we tap, we aren't doing it in the most useful way. So, in order not to waste our time, we get around to tapping at all.

Where being overwhelmed with emotions is concerned, the subconscious is just trying to keep us safe. It knows how deeply we can feel emotions and it doesn't want to feel the pain of being SUPER emotional.

This week in the podcast, I share a simple way for you to overcome both of these issues so that you can tap in the most useful way and allow healing and transformation to happen.

The process is called the Container Process. Listen to the podcast to learn the process, when it is best used, and follow along with my demonstration. You don't even have to memorise the process, just follow along and tap as I do all the heavy lifting.

This is a process every tapper should know.

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Even though we might not be conscious of it, every time we sit down to tap, our desire is for total, instantaneous, eternal transformation.

While our desire makes a lot of sense, there are two obstacles in our way.

First, we don't always have access to total, instantaneous, eternal transformation. For better or worse, sometimes transformation just takes time. Second, swift transformation isn't always the safest way for us to move forward.

This week in the podcast, we explore our relationship (and frustration) with how long it can take to heal, how we can be sure we are SAFELY getting the most out of each round of tapping, all the while not being too discouraged by the pace of change.

Once I understood and embraced these ideas, it actually improved the quality and speed of my transformation. I found that slowing down allowed me to heal more quickly, which has also informed the work I do with my clients and students.

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Sometimes tapping feels nothing short of magical!

We are struggling with an issue or an emotion and then, after a few rounds of tapping, we feel so much better. This transformation can feel profound to the extent that the world actually looks different. (That is not an exaggeration. My clients often report how the world literally looks brighter and more welcoming after tapping.)

Then there are those issues where despite putting in the time to tap, nothing changes. We try different approaches. We make lists of every possible tail-ender and aspect.

But no matter what we try, we just can't seem to make any progress.

Not only does the tapping feel like a waste of time, we start to lose faith in tapping altogether.

In this week's podcast, I share with you what to do when it feels like your transformation has plateaued and your tapping is not working.

Being stuck like this is more common than you might think. Join me for straightforward tools and approaches that will help you to start moving forward again.

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One of the fundamentals I repeatedly return to when I am working with clients or teaching practitioners is: We emotionally respond to the world in the way that we describe it.

That is to say, the words we use when talking about our lives impact how we feel about our lives or a particular situation.

Recently, I have started adding the word "feel" when I describe what I am thinking, feeling or experiencing at any given moment. This has created a powerful shift in how I perceive situations AND it has made it easier to create change and transformation in my life.

This week in the podcast, I share with you how I have started using this simple word in my daily life, the tangible positive change it has created, and how you can do the same thing.

It is easy to dismiss or overlook this idea, but I encourage you not to miss out on a powerful tool.

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For the longest time, I found tapping for feeling overwhelmed one of my most frustrating issues.

The reason it was so frustrating is because no matter how many times I tapped for overwhelm, it always came back. Sometimes it came back multiple times in the same day.

When we aren't making the progress we want, it is easy to get frustrated with the fact that "I have to tap for overwhelm again!" We not only lose faith in tapping for that particular issue, we may also find our faith in tapping overall is eroded.

This frustration went away for me once I realized there are some issues, like overwhelm, that will not be resolved forever. Instead, these issues require a certain approach.

Making this discovery moved me from being discouraged to excited about tapping for feeling overwhelmed.

This week in the podcast I explain why issues like overwhelm are different AND the best way to tap for them.

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One of the most commonly used tools in transformation and healing is affirmations.

When I did a quick internet search on the "history of affirmation," the first article I clicked on started with the line, "The first recorded use of affirmations dates back to the ancient Egyptian civilization. Affirmations were inscribed on amulets and other objects."

BUT affirmations don't just work. For an affirmation to create change, it needs to be a useful affirmation. Notice that I didn't say the "right" affirmation. That's because one affirmation might be useful today but not tomorrow.

In this week's podcast I explore how to gauge whether an affirmation will be useful for you AND how to use tapping to supercharge the power of the affirmation.

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The dawning of a new year is a great time for reflection and planning. We have the chance to see what we would like to release, what we would like to change, and what we would like to add to our lives.

Something that causes me the most frustration is when I have created a vision for the life I want to live and then end up not making it reality because of self-sabotage.

One of the biggest causes of self-sabotage is impostor syndrome. When you feel like you do not belong, you keep our head down so you aren't noticed. That means you don't take action, which makes it impossible to create the life you desire.

This week in the podcast, I share how I uncover the impostor syndrome in myself and how I use tapping to clear it.

AND yes, we do lots of tapping.

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In episode #634 a few weeks ago, I shared with you five easy steps to make tapping part of your daily routine.

The more often we tap, the better it is for us. (Yes, that might be the most obvious thing I have ever written!)

Once we are tapping on the regular (even if it isn't daily), the way in which we track our sessions can help us to get even more out of every tapping session.

This week in the podcast I share with you how I track my tapping sessions. The process I use encourages me to tap more, helps me to get back in the habit after periods where I am not tapping as much as I would like, and how I capture the insights from my tapping sessions so I can reinforce my future growth and healing.

You can download the tapping tracker I use here: TappingTracker.com

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One of the realities of our relentlessly connected world is our ability to know what is happening anywhere in the world in an instant.

For the most part, this is great. It is an opportunity for us to connect with and learn from people we would never have had the opportunity to meet a generation ago.

At the same time, constant and instantaneous updates on everything that is going wrong in the world can take their toll. Most of these situations are too big or too far away, or both, for us to be able to do anything about them and they are difficult to process. This can leave us feeling small and hopeless AND when we feel this way about the world at large, it seeps into every part of our life making all feel unmanageable.

This week in the podcast I share how I tap when the world feels too big, too overwhelming, and too scary. This tapping grounds me, frees me from feeling overwhelmed and paralysed, and allows me to take positive action in my own life.

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Tapping is a wonderful tool to help us improve our health and well-being.

Recently, I came down with a bad cold. In addition to reaching out to my doctor, drinking lots of water, and resting, of course I spent some time tapping for what was going on physically in my body.

I tapped for:

The aches and pains
My lack of energy
Letting my system know it was safe and allowed to heal
To strengthen my immune system
For sleep to come quickly and be gentle and healing

But before I did any of that, I tapped for something else. AND it had nothing to do with my physical health. Instead, I spent some time tapping for my emotional response to what was going on.

I tapped for the frustration of falling behind in my work because I was in bed. I tapped for the disappointment of what I was missing out on by having to stay home when I had plans to see friends. I tapped for a whole constellation of emotions around being sick.

Doing this first made a huge difference in my mood, and by extension it made my healing process easier.

This week in the podcast I share the two-step process I used to help me to recover.

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A common complaint I hear from my students and clients is that sometimes the act of tapping can be uncomfortable or even painful.

This can apply temporarily to a few specific tapping points, for example sinus problems would make it painful to tap around the eyes, or because of injury, illness or a specific sensitivity.

This week in the podcast I share with you six different ways to approach tapping when the more typical version of tapping causes discomfort or pain.

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A common complaint I hear from my students and clients is that sometimes the act of tapping can be uncomfortable or even painful.

This can apply temporarily to a few specific tapping points, for example sinus problems would make it painful to tap around the eyes, or because of injury, illness or a specific sensitivity.

This week in the podcast I share with you six different ways to approach tapping when the more typical version of tapping causes discomfort or pain.

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One of the biggest struggles I have when being honest with myself is looking at the times when resistance has gotten the best of me.

When I give in to resistance it means I knew what to do, how to do it, and why to do it…but I still didn't take action. For me, this feels like the worst type of failure because it feels so personal.

I didn't do something poorly that led to my failure. I failed because I couldn't get myself to take action at all.

When we think of resistance, we often think in all-or-nothing terms. Either I do not encounter resistance and am able to take action easily OR the resistance wins and I can't take action at all.

In reality, resistance is more nuanced. This week in the podcast we explore the different stages of resistance and how we can tap for each of these stages to keep moving forward to create a life we love through consistent, authentic action.

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A common human struggle is when we find ourselves in two minds about a situation or event.

This most commonly happens when we are facing a choice between two (or more) options that are far from perfect.

Over the course of the last number of months I have been hearing from my clients and students about a different type of "being of two minds".

Instead of being caught between two options, they are caught between two emotions. In these conversations we have come to the realization that the best course of action is not to choose one of these emotions because that means denying our humanity.

This week in the podcast we explore what it means to be of two minds emotionally, and how we can tap to support these moments.

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I love sharing tapping with new people. So much so, when the topic of tapping comes up, I will preface my enthusiasm by saying, "This is something that I am passionate about and I can go on and on about it. The moment I start to share too much, just tell me to stop!"

When talking about tapping I usually list all the ways that tapping can be used:

emotional first aid
clearing limiting beliefs
fears and phobias
healing past trauma
generational healing
physical issues

Even though everything on that list is something that we can tap for, tapping for physical issues isn't something most people do.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my students about her resistance to tapping for physical issues. It was an enlightening discussion not just about what was holding her back, but what turns out to be one of the biggest reasons people don't tap for physical issues.

This week in the podcast I explore why we don't tap more for physical issues and share a simple checklist that will make it easier for you to do so.

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On August 1st, 2007 I posted my very first article to TappingQandA.com. The article had a very simple title "Making Tapping and EFT Routine".

In the intervening years it is a topic that I continue to talk about with my students and clients because they know that their lives would be better if they tap more.

Just because we know tapping is good for us doesn't mean we do it daily or when we are in emotional distress. AND what is worse, when we know how to do something and we don't do it, we end up beating ourselves up for not tapping, which only makes things worse.

This week in the podcast I share with you five simple steps to making tapping (or anything else) a part of your daily routine. I took the four steps from the old article and simplified them into three steps and added two more which I have learned since writing the first article.

If you have ever wanted to tap daily, then this week's podcast is a must.

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One of the subconscious resistances we have to taking care of ourselves stems from the recognition that we have it better than so many other people in the world. Because we recognize this, we may feel bad taking care of anything beyond our basic needs.

This situation can be compounded when others see us as their go-to person to help them or others, and we find it hard to turn away those in difficulty.

Because of this, I sometimes struggle to take sufficient time to tap for myself beyond a little emotional first aid in the moment.

To overcome this resistance, I have started tapping for someone new. That person is "Future Gene". Future Gene is exactly what he sounds like, it is me in the future.

The funny thing is that I am willing to tap for Future Gene, even when I am not willing to tap for myself at the moment.

In this week's podcast I explore this off-the-wall idea and how you can incorporate it into your tapping as well.

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When I work with clients, I pay close attention to the language they use and I pay particular attention to keywords that alert me to how the subconscious mind might be informing their narrative.

It is so much easier to create change and transformation with tapping if we can identify the often misguided stories driven by the subconscious mind.

One of those words is "should".

The word "should" comes with so much baggage. It does not just express what needs to happen, but carries with it a huge amount of unspoken information and expectation.

In this week's podcast, I break down all of the extra emotional meanings conveyed by the word "should". I also share a simple four-step tapping process you can use to uncover and clear the resistance that usually accompanies the word "should".

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Before we can take action aimed at improving our lives, we need to know what to do, how to do it, have access to the necessary resources, and the internal desire or reason to take action.

Sometimes you might have these four elements in place and still find yourself struggling to act because you are held back by internal resistance.

For as long as I have known about Carol Look and her work (which has been going on for close to two decades), she has talked about how to identify and clear this internal resistance. In her most recent book, The Yes Code, Carol explains the step-by-step process of how you can uncover and release this resistance to help you get to an internal emotional "yes!" and take action.

This podcast with Carol is in anticipation of the release of The Yes Code on October 8th and shares the process of clearing resistance as well as what she learned about herself and the process through writing the book.

You can sign up for bonus training by visiting The Yes Code book launch page.

Guest: Carol Look

Contact: web @ CarolLook.com

About Carol: Carol Look is a Founding EFT Master, licensed psychotherapist, author, world-renowned workshop presenter and speaker, and creator of her signature coaching method, The Yes Code™. Carol has taught workshops in England, The Netherlands, Belgium, France, Canada, Australia, and all over the United States. Known for her laser-like focus and state-of-the-art approach, Carol helps clients release their limiting beliefs and emotional conflicts so they can enjoy lives of exceptional success and fulfillment. Carol is a regularly featured energy medicine expert on leading global summits and is a featured expert in the field’s top documentaries.

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Do you ever feel like no matter how much time you spend working on your personal growth, you’re never truly moving forward?

One of the biggest challenges in creating lasting healing and transformation is the simple fact that there’s never enough time and energy to tackle it all. At any given moment, you might want to improve your health, deepen your relationships, focus on spiritual growth, sharpen your professional skills, declutter your space and, and…the list never ends.

The harsh truth is that you can't work on everything. And the real struggle isn’t just choosing what to focus on, but it’s also the subconscious mind pulling you in multiple directions, forcing you to deal with immediate pains and short-term issues instead of focusing on meaningful long-term transformation.

Our subconscious mind is wired for survival, which means it’s obsessed with right now: the urgent discomforts, the stress of the moment, and whatever feels like a quick fix. This constant urge towards short-term relief often leaves us spinning our wheels, feeling busy but never making any real progress.

The result? We get caught in a cycle of putting out life’s daily fires without ever tackling the deeper, more meaningful changes we long for.

In this week’s podcast, I dive into why your subconscious mind is so fixated on the immediate and how it sabotages your long-term goals without you even realizing it. More importantly, I’ll walk you through simple, daily tapping exercises to break free from this subconscious tug of war, so you can finally focus on the big-picture transformation that truly matters.

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No matter how much we consciously want to focus on a task, subconscious resistance can get in the way, making us distracted and unproductive.

Part of us might be resisting tasks because of anxiety about the quality of what we produce, if we can get enough done, how others will receive our efforts, and whether we will be happy with the end result, to name just a few common concerns.

Last week, I had a task that I needed to complete but I was aware how unsettled my mind was when I sat down to work. To combat the distraction, I created a brand new tapping process to keep me on track.

Not only did it work then, but I have used it every time I have sat down to work since coming up with it.

This week in the podcast I share exactly what I did, and how you can improve your own productivity just by drawing a few circles.

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When we are working on our resistance to taking a particular action, we often end up referring to the past to see if we can identify the roots of our reluctance in not wanting to repeat past mistakes or struggles.

Combing through mistakes we have made can bring up old feelings of defeat and disappointment, leaving us feeling worse than when we started tapping as we experience deep emotions about our past failings.

Unfortunately, the result of this is usually that we give up on our tapping. Not only do we stop moving forward with our healing, but it can put us into a bit of an emotional spiral.

When this happens to me, I have a simple process to get myself back on track.

This week in the podcast I share how to recognize when you get emotionally hijacked in this way, the process I use to get back on track, and we do some tapping to show you exactly how that process works.

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When we are working on healing and creating transformation in our lives, we spend much time looking backwards.

The way we understand ourselves, the world, and our place in the world is informed and created by our past, which means our limiting beliefs, insecurities, and bad habits are often rooted there too.

That is why there are so many tapping tools that focus on the past, such as the movie technique, the photo technique, and the middle school playlist, to name just a few.

While it can be useful to look backwards, sometimes trying to understand our past and why we are the way we are is not helpful and can even get in the way of our healing journey.

This week in the podcast I share when it is useful to look to the past, when the past gets in the way, and a simple way to tap to ensure you do not get caught in this trap.

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The Buddhist concept of the "monkey mind" describes our human tendency to get restless, distracted, or confused.

For some reason, my monkey mind has been going crazy these past few weeks. I feel like I haven't been dealing with a monkey so much as a troop of them! (I just learned that a group of monkeys is called a troop!)

Every fifteen or twenty minutes, I have found myself looking at social media or a news website or my inbox or an online dating app or what the weather will be like tomorrow.

It was as if I had completely lost control of my attention. One minute I was working and concentrating on the task in front of me…and the next, I was firmly in Distractionland.

Instead of beating myself up, I decided to do a little tapping experiment.

The results were AMAZING!

In this week's podcast I share what I tried, how it worked, and what I learned.

This is something you will want to add to your own transformational tool box right away!

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One of the most common forms of resistance people encounter when doing any sort of deep transformational work (tapping included) is the fear of what will be uncovered.

The two most common fears are either that there will be an overwhelming number of emotions that will be difficult to handle or that a previously suppressed traumatic memory will surface.

There is another version of this resistance that is less emotional and less dramatic.

That is the fear that you will learn or be reminded of something that you don't want to hear.

It could be:

an uncomfortable truth about your life
an action that you need to take but are avoiding because you know it will be hard
a toxic relationship that you need to exit
a harmful habit that is you need to give up
a realization that you failed in the past because you were unwilling to show up for yourself

Nobody wants to deal with these types of truths BUT if we want to create lasting change and transformation in our lives, then we need to face up to these truths and heal our relationship to them.

In the podcast this week I share a simple tapping phase I love that will make it easier to be open to healing and transformation.

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One of the phrases that Gary Craig used in the original EFT training videos that has stuck with me is "the comedies of our mind".

When using this phrase, Gary was referring to the recurring thoughts that we had about ourselves that, when they were examined in the light of day, were seen to be comical or even farcical.

For example, right before I try something hard my subconscious mind will pipe up with, "You have failed before and you are going to fail again."

Unexamined, that thought could stop me in my tracks. But if I pull it from the echo chamber of my subconscious mind and into the here and now, it loses its power. It might slow me down, but I can work my way through it,

This week in the podcast I share with you the process I use throughout my day to ensure I am not a prisoner to these unhelpful and untrue thoughts.

This is an approach that you can use in your tapping and also in your daily life without having to tap.

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New opportunities can be so exciting as they bring the promise of growth, change, and countless possibilities.

The problem is that most of us already have full lives and we don't have the time or energy to add something new.

When this happens, we have a tendency to take one of two approaches.

One approach is to take the plunge in the hope that things will "just work out"...but they rarely do. We find ourselves stretched too thin and not doing anything well.

The other approach is to not try at all. We decide our life is already too busy and allow great opportunities to pass us by, only to feel bad about missing out afterwards.

This week in the podcast I share with you the five questions I use when I am presented with an interesting opportunity. These questions have changed my life to help me to add new exciting things to my life, while still maintaining balance.

I also share how I use tapping to super charge these questions.

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Tapping without words is one of my favorite ways to tap and I do it multiple times a day.

Recently, a few of my friends from the tapping community referred to this type of tapping as "content-free tapping".

When I heard this, not only did I learn a new piece of vocabulary, it actually reframed my understanding of wordless tapping.

This week in the podcast I share with you my eight favorite ways to use content-free tapping.

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Maintaining high standards for ourselves is a good thing and means we have goals to shoot for and measuring sticks with which to evaluate our progress.

Unfortunately, it is all too easy to fall into self-criticism and self-judgment if we fall short of these standards. So much so that it rarely feels like a choice, but the moment we fall short, the internal critical voice comes roaring forward to berate and belittle us.

Even when we are critical of ourselves, we are still able to extend kindness to others and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Evaluating our actions is a good thing…but becoming overly self-critical is harsh and unhealthy.

When I am too hard on myself, one of my best friends gently chides me in a way that transforms the way I feel about myself and what comes next.

He doesn't say, "Gene, you are being too hard on yourself!" because that would not shift my mind or mood.

Instead, he says something completely different that turns everything around.

In this week's podcast I share the one phrase that changes my perspective in these situations, and how that phrase can be incorporated in our tapping.

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One of the highlights of this year's 24 Hours of Tapping was the conversation that I had with Kerri Rhodes. Kerri is one of the program directors of the Helping Addicts Recover Progressively (HARP) program in the Chesterfield (VA) County Jail.

The inmates use many of the tools created by the Peaceful Heart Network to create emotional healing and transformation as part of their recovery process.

In addition to learning about the HARP program from Kerri, we also had the opportunity to hear from the women in the program. Not only did they share their firsthand experience of tapping, but they also led us in a number of rounds of tapping.

This is a conversation that you don't want to miss.

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Most of the time, when we sit down to tap, we are trying to create positive change.

We are trying to:

Release a negative emotion and create a positive one in its place
Clear resistance and limiting beliefs so that we can take consistent action
Heal a past trauma or story so that our present is not haunted by our past

I love every single one of these tapping outcomes!

But there are times when we cannot create profound change or facilitate deep healing.

Sometimes the best and healthiest course of action is simply to be fully present to the emotions we are feeling. And that is no bad thing.

This week in the podcast I explore the power of feeling the full depth and breadth of our emotions in the moment as we tap. It is one of my favorite ways to tap and something I do multiple times a week.

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The primary goal of our subconscious mind is to keep us safe.

To do this, it is constantly learning lessons from our experience. For example, after touching a hot stove a small child quickly learns quickly not to do that again.

This only becomes a problem when the subconscious mind learns the "wrong" lesson from an experience.

I frequently see this come up when working with my clients around their reluctance to take action. Their resistance usually stems from one of these lessons that is neither useful nor true.

The most common lesson learned is that failure is bad, painful, and must be avoided at all costs. At first glance, this seems reasonable…except that the solution proposed by the subconscious mind is not to try at all.

The logical fallacy is obvious: Not taking action doesn't keep us safe, it keeps us stuck.

In this week's podcast, I share two ways to release the resistance to taking action that is created by past failures.

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Wanting to belong is a basic human desire.

For our ancestors thousands of years ago, belonging to a tribe was a matter of life and death. Without the protection of a tribe and its strength in numbers, death was a real prospect, so this desire to be accepted is part of our genetic heritage.

Even today, on a subconscious level, belonging equals safety and not belonging equals death, though intellectually we know that is no longer true in most situations.

We evaluate whether or not we belong in many ways.

Are we included in activities?
Do people ask us for our input and listen to our contributions?
Do others share and celebrate their success with us?
Are we given a warm welcome when we arrive?

Those are clear indications of invitation and inclusion, but there are more subtle signs too. When I am working with clients and students, one of my favorite ways to unearth times in their past when they felt excluded is to ask the question, "In the past, when were you told you were too much of something?"

These types of being "too something" include being too loud, too emotional, too closed off, too dramatic, too quiet, too serious…and the list goes on.

Being told that you are "too something" can bring up subconscious fears of being wrong, and therefore excluded from your tribe.

This week in the podcast we explore how and why the word "too" feels corrosive and as if it undermines our experience. I also share a tapping process you can use to transform those times when you were told you are "too something" into an asset and empowering resource.

If you have ever been told you are too something, then this is a must-listen.

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Erik Tait is a world class magician and someone I love to see perform. He has spent over two decades performing as a juggler, standup comedian, and magician.

In 2020 Erik decided that he wanted to compete in the 2022 FISM, which is the world championship of magic. Even though he is comfortable on almost any stage in the world, in preparing for the competition he realized he had some deep-seated fears that were affecting his performance. His fear was so acute that it would cause his hand to shake uncontrollably, which is the last thing a card magician wants.

Erik's therapist taught him tapping and he credits it (and other tools) with helping him to overcome his fear and win third place in the competition. This made him only the fourth American to accomplish this, and the first American to stand on the podium for card magic in two decades.

In this week's podcast, Erik shares how he was first introduced to tapping, how he used it to overcome his fear when preparing for FISM, and how he still uses it today.

Even if you never want to perform on stage, Erik's insights are valuable for anyone interested in improving their performance in any arena or endeavor.

ALSO, if you want to be blown away by world class magic, you can watch the act we talked about during the interview here: Erik Tait's FISM performance

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Guest: Erik Tait

Contact: web @ ErikTait.com; instagram @eriktait

About: Erik Tait has won awards for both standup comedy and magic throughout North America, appeared on Penn & Teller: Fool Us, and was the 2018 International Brotherhood of Magicians Gold Cups Close Up Competition Champion. He took home third place at FISM Quebec 2022, the world championships of magic, in the category of card magic. Erik is only the fourth American to accomplish this, and the first American to stand on the podium for card magic in two decades. He graduated with honors from the prestigious Humber College Comedy Writing and Performance program, which means Erik can academically prove why he is hilarious. Beyond that, Erik is the only magician in the world with a degree in funny. He has put academic theory into practice on some of the most prestigious stages in the world, including The Magic Castle, Second City Toronto, and the Hollywood Improv. His client list has some of the most recognizable brands in the country including Honda, Macy’s, and Bark Box.

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There is a natural human tendency to want to make sure everything is "exactly right" before we take action. That's because when everything is exactly right, we can be as sure as we can be of getting the results we desire.

Our subconscious mind takes this idea to the extreme because its key driver is the need to keep us safe. In addition, it has a tendency to overreact when things go wrong.

Here's how it goes:

The subconscious wants us to be safe
Any small thing that goes wrong is not only unsafe, the subconscious mind judges it as catastrophic
The easiest way to make we are safe is to do everything "perfectly"
As perfection is generally an unrealistic and unattainable goal, the subconscious holds us back from taking action while waiting for ideal circumstances that never come

On the surface, this logic makes sense except for the fact that things will never be perfect. That leads us to over-thinking and failing to take decisive action.

This week in the podcast I share a simple concept and how to incorporate this concept into your tapping so you can avoid getting caught in this unproductive trap.

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One of the reasons I love art is because it gives us the ability to communicate meaning in ways that we aren't always able to do when simply talking about our lives.

We have all heard the expression that "a picture is worth a thousand words", which is true, and it is so much more than just that.

The genres of science fiction and fantasy offer us the opportunity to explore the human experience without the political and cultural baggage of our modern world.

Recently, I have been listening to the audiobook version of Frank Herbert's Dune. One of the underlying themes is how our emotions impact our ability to make good choices in moments of crisis.

There is one particular litany that the main character Paul recites multiple times in the story to calm his fear in the moment.

In this week's podcast I explore how that litany and Paul's journey to conquer his fear has impacted my tapping. I even built a tapping script based on the book's text.

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One of the reasons I love tapping so much is that it can be used for so many types of issues. It can be used to:

Provide emotional first aid
Break down a limiting belief
Heal a past memory
Manage pain
Clear a substance sensitivity

For me, it is super important to know why I am tapping in each given moment. Am I simply trying to calm myself when I feel overwhelmed so I can take action OR am I dealing with emotional resistance to taking action because I fear failing at my next task?

When I know what I am trying to accomplish, it makes it easier for me to stay on track so I can better evaluate my progress to see if I need to keep tapping on the issue.

Over the last few months, I have come to realize there are two different types of tapping issues that I had conflated into a single issue. I was approaching how I feel in a moment and what state I am in as if they are the same thing.

These are two distinct areas to tap for, with each having a different approach and different goals from the tapping itself.

In this week's podcast, I break down the difference between tapping for an emotion versus tapping to change your state, when you should be tapping for each, and how to tap to change your state.

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Late last year my friend Brad Yates reached out asking if there was some way that we could use our platforms to encourage more people to tap for peace and to become more active peacemakers in the world.

After a number of conversations and asking many of our tapping friends for help we ended up relaunching Tapping4Peace.com. The movement is simple. After you sign up once a week you receive a simple email with a link to a short tapping tool, which will help you to tap for peace in the world and in your world.

Once we launched a number of people asked if there was any way we could do something live, online, as a community tapping together. It was such a great idea we did exactly that on Sunday.

People from all over the world joined us live.

This week in the podcast I have pulled a piece of the tapping we did, so that you too can tap with us to create more peace in the world.

Please tap along and please join the movement here: Tapping4Peace.com

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I love the fact that tapping can be used to clear and transform so many things that are negative.

It can be used to:

Release a negative emotions
Heal a past memory
Transform a limiting belief
Reduce (or even) eliminate physical pail
Quiet our critical voice

Did you know that in addition to being able to transform the negative it can also be used to reinforce the positive.

This week in the podcast I share a simple step by step process that you can use to reinforce and enhance positive feelings and positive states.

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Tapping is deceptively simple.

It is so easy to teach the basics of tapping that I have done it before in under five minutes with a quick drawing on a bar napkin.

But hidden behind its simplicity are the subtleties of the art of delivery. Each issue, person, and resource state can require a different approach to get the maximum effect.

With this in mind, it is easy to fall prey to trying to find the exact best way to tap for an issue. Searching for the very best approach can lead us to overthinking the process, which may result in us not tapping at all.

This week in the podcast I share a simple tapping approach to counter this type of overthinking. This approach can be your full tapping session, a way to get unstuck in the middle of a tapping session or you can use it to start a tapping session.

It is so straightforward to add to your tapping tool box that you'll be able to start using it right away.

Handout: https://tappingqanda.com/no-agenda

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One of the most important parts of the Tapping Action Journal is the instruction to spend time writing down notes at the end of each tapping session on what just happened.

You are encouraged to write down:

what surprised you
what you learned
any insights you gained
any tailenders you unearthed

Tailenders are the responses our subconscious mind gives at the tailend of a tapping phrase.

For example, I could tap on "I am going to make at least five new sales this week." As soon as I tap on that phrase, my subconscious would respond with "No you are not. You failed before and are going to fail again!"

In other words, tailenders are your subconscious mind's rebuttal to what you are saying and tapping on.

I love tailenders because they tell us exactly what subconscious resistance is standing in our way of moving forward and they provide a road map for what to tap on next.

Last week, one of my students asked the question "I know I am supposed to tap on tailenders, but how exactly do I do that?"

In this week's podcast I share a simple four-step approach to choosing the right tailender to tap for next, and how to tap for that issue.

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Something I really love about the people I work with is their tendency to see the bigger world outside of themselves. They recognize the people in their lives who are struggling and in pain, and they also want to do something about it.

As wonderful as it is to want to help others, it can mean that we become known for being a helper, and the requests become increasingly frequent and demanding of our time and energy.

The next thing we know, we are helping everyone else to the point that we neglect our own needs and our lives, meaning we need to do the tough work of creating stronger boundaries.

If you are someone with an empathetic nature, creating and maintaining boundaries is even harder.

This week in the podcast, we explore how being a helper can turn into a full time job, how to create new boundaries, and why putting boundaries in place is particularly difficult for empaths.

We also spend time tapping to make it easier (even for empaths) to create boundaries.

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For the 2024 Spring Energy Event I was asked to give a reflection on what I have learned in my personal and professional transformational journey.

For me, the measure of the value of transformation is seen in how our life is different. What do we believe that is different? How do we feel that is different? In what ways are we asking in new ways?

Because this has been my focus, I am supremely interested in the resistance to change. Even when we know the type of change we would like to make in our lives and how valuable that change is, we still don't change.

This led me to create a presentation where I shared the four basic root causes of our resistance to change as well as how to identify the story that is holding you back.

This week in the podcast I share the full presentation so you can learn along with everyone who attends live.

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One of my favorite ways to learn is by listening to the questions others ask.

When I am asking questions I am bringing my experience and preconceived notions to the questions. This is a useful way to learn, but sometimes I am too close to my own experience to ask the most useful question.

When someone else is asking a question they are often asking a question I never would have thought of. This gives me a chance to ponder the questions from a distance which allows me to hear the answer in a new way.

One of my favorite parts of the Authentic Action Academy is the Office Hour sessions. This is when my students have the chance to .ask me anything

They ask questions about what has been taught in class, how to get more out of their own tapping practice, and they even bring tapping requests.

My favorite part of these sessions is seeing all the comments in the chat box from what everyone else is learning through the process.

In March I hosted an Ask Me Anything session, where anyone who showed up could do exactly that...ask me anything about tapping.

The session was recorded and I pulled 4 questions which I thought you would also enjoy learning from and tapping along to.

The four topics I have pulled for you are:

Clearing limiting beliefs around our ability to be successful
Finding and clearing the root cause of emotional eating
How to deal with the grief around the death of someone who hurt us
How do I know if I should be tapping on the negative or positive when trying to clear and issue

I know you will learn a lot from this conversation.

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Goals are a powerful tool in helping us to move forward. They give us clear direction, they help to create clarity for our best next steps, and they serve as a measuring stick for us to evaluate the action we take.

Goals are great!

Except when they aren't.

Sometimes goals can feel like a constraint, homework, or something we "have to do". When this happens, they become more of a hindrance than a help.

This week in the podcast we explore how to create a goal, as well as a healthy relationship to that goal, based on what we are trying to achieve and our personal context.

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One of the phrases I spend a lot of time tapping on with my clients is the idea that "time is a zero sum game". What I mean by this phrase is that if you are doing one thing you can't be doing anything else.

This means everytime we choose to do something, we are choosing not to do anything else.

Because this is the case it is very easy to judge ourselves as we look at our past choices. When we look to our past, not only are we able to see how we are investing our time, but we also see all the actions we could have taken and we didn't.

I know I can certainly be very hard on myself and my past choices when it feels like I have squandered time and opportunities.

This past week I found myself very disappointed with my past choices. Normally this leads to frustration for not taking the best action and sadness over the squandered opportunities.

For the first time in a long time I wasn't just frustrated or saddened. I was mad. And not just mad...I was raging.

The more I thought about my mistakes the madder I became. This week in the podcast I share with you what happened and how I responded.

Not only do I explain my approach, I also do a fair bit of tapping. I hope you find this approach useful.

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When most of us learned the basics of tapping, one of the first bits of advice we received was to "be as specific as possible when you are tapping."

Sometimes this is straightforward; the issue is singular and clear, so we know exactly where to start.

At other times, our issue involves multiple emotions, and it is hard for us to tell where one emotion ends and the next begins.

When this happens, the advice to "be as specific as possible when you are tapping" is difficult to apply, if not impossible.

In this week's podcast I share my favorite approach to use when there is no clear starting point for an issue. This handy tool will allow you to tap on multiple issues at once.

The approach can be used at the beginning or the end of a tapping session, and can also be applied to a session as a whole.

Listen as I lead you through the entire process after I provide the instruction. This is an essential tool for your tapping toolbox!

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Tapping is one of those tools that is simple to understand and explain, but that doesn't mean it is easy to do.

The biggest hurdle most new tappers (and even experienced tappers) experience is not knowing what to say when tapping.

When we first learn tapping we are guided by a skilled practitioner or teacher who seems to come up with perfect tapping phrases without effort. We can't wait to add tapping to our daily practice.

Then we then find ourselves tapping on our own and our mind goes blank. As easy as it was for the person who taught us tapping to come up with phrases it is hard for us.

Our mind is blank.

We are frustrated and disappointed that it "just doesn't work for us" and we give up.

This week in the podcast I share with you my favorite way to write a tapping script that is perfect for you.

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On March 3rd, 2009 the first episode of the Tapping Q & A Podcast went live...and within 90 minutes that same episode was taken offline because of a major editing error.

Fifteen years (and 600+ episodes) later, the show is still going. In that time, the podcast has featured wisdom and insights about tapping, healing and transformation from some of the brightest minds in change work.

The podcast has been downloaded millions of times and listened to by people in more than 150 countries.

In a very special episode of the podcast, Brad Yates joins Gene to talk to him about all that he has learned from the podcast. It is a great opportunity for you to learn those lessons without having to go through the 15-year archive. (Though you are more than welcome to do that as well!)

Enjoy the reflection and lessons from the past 15 years.

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Tapping is something that is simple to explain, but isn't necessarily easy to execute.

We know that tapping success comes from tuning in to the issue and then tapping on the points.

But tuning in to an issue can be tricky, particularly when we are in a heightened emotional state.

When I am struggling to define what I am experiencing, I reach for a simple tool that I call "self-coaching". It is something you already know how to do, you just haven't realized you can use this approach when tapping on your own.

This week in the podcast I share the process and how easy it is to use.

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None of the success that I have enjoyed in my life is something that I have accomplished on my own.

My past and present are filled with inspiring teachers and mentors, and I often reach out for help when I am working on a project or task.

I have achieved so much more and my life is immeasurably better because of these mentors.

That said, I don't always have access to my mentors. They are busy, I can't get hold of them, and some of them have passed away.

But just because I can't access them in the moment does not mean that I am without their guidance.

This week in the podcast I share with you one of my favorite ways to access the wisdom of my mentors, even when they aren't with me, and how to incorporate that into your tapping.

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Tapping is such an easy tool, that at a moment's notice we jump right in and start tapping.

Even though this is the case, I think it is important that we don't rush in too quickly. To help me get the most of a tapping session I have created two checklists that I read through before I start tapping. There is one checklist for when I am doing personal tapping and another for when I am working with a client.

These lists are designed to make sure I am fully present to the work I am doing AND to make sure I am getting the most out of each tapping session.

You can find the checklist here.

You can hear a full explanation of what each point means and why I focus on them in this week's podcast.

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One of my favorite parts of tapping is the fact that when we sit down to tap, not only do we get a chance to clear and release issues but we also have the opportunity to discover other issues that are deeper under the surface.

The cliche that is most often used (because it contains truth) is doing this work is like peeling an onion. As we remove one issue we find another one underneath.

This is powerful because it gives us access to deep work that we can do, but it can also be a distraction. What we thought was one issue now feels like five issues.

When this happens two outcomes can occur. We can become so overwhelmed by the amount of work that we need to do that we stop tapping or we can end up jumping from issues to issues losing our focus. If we end up jumping from issue to issue we end up in the situation where we do a lot of work (tapping on lots of issues) without making much progress because we aren't focused enough to get work done.

This week in the podcast I share with you the way I tap to make sure I stay focused on one issue without being overwhelmed or jumping all over the place.

The process is so simple that after you hear the instruction once you will be able to implement it right away.

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Over the last four or five years I have had a major shift in how I think about tapping. This shift is moving from the idea that tapping is an approach, to tapping being a tool.

This realization has not only changed the way I think about tapping, it has also changed the way I think about transformation as a whole.

No two rounds of tapping are the same. When I say that, I don't just mean I change the words I am using or I change the issues I am addressing. Instead, one round of tapping might be to calm myself down in the middle of a stressful situation, and another might be me working on a childhood trauma that I am still carrying with me.

Even though I am tapping on exactly the same physical points, those two types of tapping are radically different from each other.

In this week's podcast, I explore what it means to see tapping as a tool with many different approaches. From this understanding we look at the different types of approaches we can take when tapping. I also share one key question with you that you should ask yourself before every tapping session to get the most out of it.

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One of the very first ideas I was introduced to when I was learning the basics of tapping was something called a "tailender".

Tailenders are the little (or big) pieces of resistance that speak up when we are tapping.

For example I could tap on the phrase "I am going to lose 25 lbs to start the year." The moment I finish saying that phrase, my subconscious mind speaks up with "No you are not. You failed before and you are going to fail again!"

It is a tailender because it is something that is said on the tailend of us saying something else.

I have come to realize in my own tapping practice and also working with clients that these tailenders are actually the key to deep lasting transformation.

This week in the podcast we do a deep dive into what tailenders are, why they exist, and how we can use them to facilitate a more powerful healing process.

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My daily tapping practice is NOT designed to make my life go perfectly. Instead, it is designed to build my emotional resilience.

What I mean by this is that the more emotionally resilient I am when something goes wrong, either it doesn't impact me and my progress OR it has minimal impact on me.

Even when we spend time working on building our resilience, it doesn't mean that we are impervious to taking emotional hits. Sometimes, really big things happen which can knock us off our stride. At other times, the sum total of lots of many small things going wrong adds up.

That is exactly what happened to me in December. So many small things went wrong over the course of a number of weeks. Some of those were errors that I had made. Others were because of external factors beyond my control.

In some ways, it felt like a death by a thousand paper cuts.

In this week's podcast I share about my experience, how it impacted my emotional resilience, and what I have been doing to bounce back.

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I have spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to live an authentic life. One of the ways I would describe this sensation is being comfortable in my own skin.

And when I say I don't just mean comfortable as in not in pain, but comfortable in a way of luxuriating in something I was made for.

It is much like a beautifully made pair of leather shoes that have been broken in to fit us perfectly.

In 2022 one of the presenters at the Eden Energy Fest was describing their work and said "When I am helping others I feel beautiful!"

Ever since hearing that phrase it continues to rattle around in my head. It is perfect.

Today in the podcast I talk about how I used that idea to create a simple, but powerful tapping tool.

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It would be very easy to assume by looking at a group of migratory birds, like ducks, flying in a V-Formation to assume the bird in the front in the leader.

But if you watch the flight for any length of time you will notice that the leader changes quite frequently.

The bird in the front is not the leader, but instead the one who is working the hardest as the other birds fall into the slip-stream. The slip-stream is the space created behind a moving object that is easier to move through.

By flying in this way it is easier for the flock to move, with less effort by taking advantage of aerodynamics of the slip-stream.

I found that it is possible to create a slip-stream in my daily life. And I don't mean walking in a V-Formation as we move through the day, but instead it is possible to find an emotional slip-stream which makes the day easier.

This week in the podcast as we continue the Tapping Mini-Tools Series I am going to share with you the way I create and emotional slip-stream to make it easier to get through the day will a little tapping.

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When working with clients, it is important to listen closely to the words they use and pay attention to everything they are saying.

When I do this, I am not just listening to the meaning of the story my clients are telling, I am also paying particular attention to the words they use.

This is because we respond to the world emotionally based on the way that we describe it, not how it is.

A simple example of this is if someone said, "Everyone at work hates me" If a client says that, emotionally it doesn't really matter if everyone at work hates them. It also doesn't matter if they truly believe that everyone at work hates them.

Saying "Everyone at work hates me" means they will respond emotionally as if it is true.

That is why I pay such close attention to the exact words used by my clients. Their words are the key to how they are feeling emotionally.

In this week's podcast, we are continuing the Tapping Mini-Tools Series and I share with you the one word I pay the closest attention to when it's used by my clients.

If my client says this word, I can immediately see where their emotional struggle will come from. I also share an easy way to reframe this word so that you communicate clearly and without creating unnecessary emotional distress.

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I love goals.

They are a powerful way to focus attention and to help us stay motivated to keep taking action.

At the same time, the moment we create a goal, we also create expectations. Naming something that we want to happen means opening ourselves up to possible disappointment if we do not achieve the goal.

This week, as we start the Mini-Tool Series, I share with you a brief phrase I add to the beginning of all my goal statements that ensures I am not adding pressure to my life by stating my goal.

I also share a simple way to tap with this phrase that will make it even easier to take consistent action towards my goal.

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This November we hosted our most successful 30-Day Tapping Challenge to date.

The goal was to, as a community, do 15,000 rounds of tapping collectively. We ended up doing over 20,000 rounds in the month of November alone AND people keep tapping.

You are more than welcome to revisit any of the videos as they will remain on YouTube, where you can access them free of charge. Full playlist

This is the fourth year that we have run the challenge. With each passing year, I have spent more time ahead of the challenge designing and planning the process.

In the first year, the goal was simply to get people to tap. In the second and third years, I gave more thought to the topics and how all 30 topics worked together.

This year I took it a step further. As well as giving a lot of thought to the topics for tapping, a huge amount of thought also went into designing how we tapped.

In the last few months, I have been exploring a new healing framework to understand why we resist healing, taking action, and moving forward. This new framework has not only improved my personal tapping practice, but it has also helped to create faster, deeper, and longer lasting healing for my clients.

In this week's podcast I share the design behind the challenge and how you can incorporate this framework in your own personal change work.

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Whenever I start working on a new project, I begin with getting clear on what I want to accomplish. That clarity makes it so much easier to decide on where to start and what steps to take.

Tapping is no different. If you know what you would like to accomplish with a round of tapping, then you will have a better idea of where to start. You will approach calming your nerves differently than trying to change a limiting belief.

You are using tapping in both cases, but where you start and how you approach the tapping will be different to get the best results.

On a more global level, I think it is important for us to understand the main goal of healing and transformation. A simple answer might be "to feel better", but I think it goes much deeper than that.

In this week's podcast we are continuing the [Healing Fundamentals](https://tappingqanda.com/tag/transformation-fundamentals) series with a look at what I believe is the primary goal of tapping.

Of all the fundamentals in this series, I think this is the most important as it informs every other aspect of the transformational process. I hope you enjoy the podcast.

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The deeper we get into our study of transformation, the more we understand.

We gain a greater understanding of how transformation works, the workings of the subconscious mind, how emotions operate and, most importantly, how we are in the world.

This understanding can speed and deepen the healing process because we better grasp the nature of our struggles, and we can use our healing tools more effectively.

But sometimes our understanding can hold us back. A combination of all this knowledge and all the tools available to us can result in intellectualizing the process to the point that we get stuck.

This week in the podcast I talk about how we can overcome overthinking in a way that will liberate the healing process.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Humans have a basic desire to create connection. For many, one of the types of connections that people long for is a long term romantic partner.

Compared with other types of relationships, romantic ones are often harder to create because we aspire to connect on many different levels.

When searching for this type of relationship, sometimes we feel like our base attraction is to exactly the wrong type of person.

As frustrating as this is, there is good news: We don't have to remain stuck in these types of patterns!

This week in the podcast I have a conversation with Stefan Gonick in which we explore why we repeatedly fall into the same patterns AND how you can break free of those patterns to find the person who truly is your soulmate.

Even if you aren't looking for a romantic relationship right now, the insights from this conversation will benefit you, creating a deeper understanding of all the relationships you have and how you can strengthen them.

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Guest: Stefan Gonick

Contact: 3 Secrets to Attracting Amazing Love mini-course – Single2Soulmate.me

About: Stefan Gonick, EFT Expert and founder of the Soulmate Attraction Academy, shows smart, loving singles how to finally attract the spine-tingling and lasting love they long for...even when they think it's not possible for them.

For over 29 years Stefan has helped thousands of people have the life and love they most desire.

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I am constantly amazed at how we humans are so good at extending grace and charity toward our loved ones in their moments of struggle AND at the exact same time we are poor at offering that same comfort to ourselves.

Part of this is rooted in the fact that when we are judging ourselves, we aren't judging what happened…we are judging what happened, what we wanted to happen, and what we think should happen. And we bring all our fears and insecurities to the mix as well.

That leads us to being much less charitable toward ourselves.

This week in the podcast I have two of the tap-alongs from this year's 30-Day Tapping Challenge. I think these are two of the most important issues that we can all tap on. The first is for building our self-esteem and the second is for self-forgiveness.

Not only are these two topics super important, I also think they work perfectly together.

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Whenever I am working toward improving anything in my life, I always have a clearly defined goal in mind. I have found that goals are incredibly powerful tools in helping to create success, big or small.

Goals focus our attention, help us to figure out our next best step towards a clear destination, and allow us to measure our progress.

At the exact same time, goals can also create pressure and stress. Whether on a conscious or subconscious level, not achieving a goal can lead us to feeling like we have failed.

That doesn't mean that goals are bad, but instead if we add a second, shorter term goal, we can feel the benefit of the long term goal without the extra pressure.

In this week's podcast we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals by looking at the additional goal I keep in mind daily!

Adding this second goal to your own personal transformation work will make healing that much easier.

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I was recently talking to one of my clients about how things had been going since our last call.

As they were sharing what the last week had been like they asked, "Is there a way that I could tap to help me to remember to tap?"

I am happy to say that the answer to that question is YES!

Over the last few years a number of research studies have been done to measure the effectiveness of tapping on memory function. Tapping can be used to help our short term memory, long term memory, and to help remember something in the moment.

This week, Dr. Peta Stapelton joins the podcast to talk about what the latest research tells us about memory and tapping.

If you want to dive even deeper into the topic she has written an amazing book on the topic Memory Improvement Through EFT Tapping: A Way to Boost Recall and Clarity

Guest: Dr. Peta Stapleton

Contact: web at EvidenceBasedEFT.com; facebook @ facebook.com/peta.stapleton; instagram: @petastapletonl twitter: @PetaStapleton

About: Dr. Peta Stapleton is a registered clinical/health psychologist and Associate Professor at Bond University (Australia) who embraces evidence-based and innovative techniques. Peta is a world-leading researcher in Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping) and led a world-first study investigating brain changes after EFT.

She was awarded the Harvey Baker Research Award for meticulous research (Association of Comprehensive Energy Psychology), and was named 2019 Psychologist of the Year (Australian Allied Health Awards). Peta has authored The Science Behind Tapping: A Proven Stress Management Technique for the Mind and Body (Hay House), which won Best Self-Help Book (2019 Best Book Awards, American Book Fest).

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The question I am most often asked by people who are looking to work with me as a client is "How many sessions is it going to take to heal [insert issue]?"

I understand the nature of this question, which is rooted in the desire for better, and as quickly as possible.

The problem with these questions is there is no way to know the answer. Even if a client is coming to me for an issue that I have worked with many times, there are so many unknown variables that I have to give the pat (and admittedly frustrating) answer of "It depends…."

When we are tapping—or working with any sort of transformational tool—I find there is a much more helpful question than "How long is it going to take?"

The question makes the healing process gentler, more effective and sometimes even more enjoyable.

In this week's podcast we explore the more useful question and how you can start using it right away with your tapping, or with any type of change work you are doing.

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As human beings, we are talented at learning from our past experience.

You can observe this so clearly whenever you spend time with small children who learn from every moment of their experience. They try something one way, then another, and then a third as they are exploring and learning about themselves and the world around them.

Of course, this process doesn't end with childhood because our subconscious minds are cause-and-effect learning machines. With every experience we either reinforce something we already know, or we learn something new.

Our ability to learn is wonderful but it can also hold us back if we are so focused on learning from our past that we get stuck there.

This can happen on both a conscious and subconscious level.

In this week's podcast we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals by exploring how the subconscious mind learns, how it can hinder the healing process, and how to overcome this hurdle in your own healing journey.

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If you are anything like me, then you have spent much of your life feeling like a bit of a misfit. What you think is important provokes the derision or confusion of others, making it hard to live an authentic life because you are caught between who you know yourself to be and what the world is telling you to be.

My friend Kris Ferraro grew up feeling like a misfit as well. Now, as an adult and someone who has worked with clients for well over a decade, she recognizes that being a misfit is a blessing.

Even though that recognition is helpful, living in the world as a "black sheep" comes with challenges.

In this episode of the podcast I talk to Kris about her new book Your Difference Is Your Strength and we explore how to live as your authentic self, even when that self seems of sync with the world around you.

If you have ever felt like theblack sheep, then this episode is essential listening!

Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support

Guest: Kris Ferraro

About: Kris Ferraro is an Author, Energy Healer and Teacher on practical healing, emotional alchemy, manifestation, and spirituality. Blending ancient with cutting-edge principles and practices, Kris teaches how to clear past wounds and create a flourishing future. She is an accredited certified EFT Practitioner and licensed Spiritual Practitioner, with a private coaching practice for over 15 years. Her books include the #1 Amazon bestseller Energy Healing, an introduction to energy psychology practices, and [Manifesting[(https://amzn.to/3LLsYRM), now in its 6th printing. Her latest, Your Difference Is Your Strength, was released October 3rd, 2023.

Contact: web @ KrisFerraro.com; facebook @ [facebook.com/kris.ferraro](http://facebook.com/kris.ferraro]; Instagram @kriseft; Twitter @[KrisEft](http://twitter.com](kriseft)

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Energy Healing: Simple and Effective Practices to Become Your Own Healer (A Start Here Guide) (A Start Here Guide for Beginners)

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Because of the nature of the work I do with clients and in my personal healing work, I spend a lot of time thinking about the subconscious mind.

Over time, I have come to realize that the superpower of the subconscious mind is its ability to respond in an instant to threat and danger in order to keep us safe.

But this lightning-fast response is less useful, and sometimes detrimental, when dealing with complex difficulties that exist beyond a given moment.

This week's podcast continues the Healing Fundamentals series with an exploration of the all-or-nothing nature of the subconscious mind, how it can complicate our daily lives, and what we can do to create lasting healing and transformation.

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I am fortunate enough to have engaged and self-aware clients, many of whom have spent years studying healing and transformation. That means they are often aware of the root causes of their issues and come to me for help because they are too close to clear the issues on their own.

Our sessions generally begin with them reporting what they are struggling with, and also what they believe is the root cause. As we start to do the healing work, they are often surprised when we don't immediately begin with the root cause they have identified.

As a practitioner, I am not avoiding their root cause because I think it is unimportant, or because I do not trust my clients' understanding of their issues. Instead, I have found that whether dealing with issues big or small, it is best to start with the emotions about the issue before working on the issue itself.

In this week's podcast we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by looking at the idea of the emotion about the issue. Starting with the emotion about the issue makes for a gentler healing process and creates deeper, lasting transformation.

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When we are in pain and distress, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, there is nothing we want more than to escape our discomfort as quickly as possible.

This desire is so profound that it can lead us to making unhealthy choices, like emotional eating and overmedicating ourselves, to gain short-term relief.

The reality is that sometimes total relief is not possible for us in the short term, or even ever. As dispiriting as that can feel, we need not feel hopeless.

Years ago, Dan Cleary introduced me to the idea of the 10% Solution that recognizes how incremental change in our physical or emotional state can have a profoundly positive impact in our daily lives.

In this week's podcast, we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by exploring the 10% Solution and how to use it to improve your daily life.

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Lori Leyden has dedicated her life to bringing healing and transformation to those who have experienced tragedy and trauma. Her latest book Embodying Grace captures the tools and approaches she uses to facilitate healing and wellbeing through a spiritual lens.

Embodying Grace introduces you to the transformative power of your Heart-Brain-Body connection, the 5 Stages of Embodied Grace and The Grace Process®. These proven methods reveal where you are on your spiritual path and provide a formula to get you to where you want to be. The result is that you feel safe enough to be fully present in your heart, with access to all you need for peace, healing, and transformation. You will be able to navigate life’s challenges with a deeper love for yourself, compassion for the circumstances in which you find yourself, and a sense of connection with the Divine.

In this week's podcast, Lori shares the The Grace Process and how we can use it in our transformational journey.

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Guest: Lori Leyden, PhD, MBA

Contact: Web: DrLoriLeyden.com

About: Lori Leyden, PhD, MBA is an internationally known trauma healing professional, transformational leader and mentor who finds the miracles that are possible out of tragedy. She has brought comfort, peace and hope to thousands around the world, from Rwanda to Sandy Hook, Connecticut, in Australian indigenous and refugee groups, and to survivors of the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in Parkland, Florida.

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When we are in physical or emotional pain and distress, we want to feel better right now.

That is a natural human desire, but even though we want healing right away, it doesn't mean healing is going to happen right away.

As disappointing as that is, there is good news. Even though healing often takes time, it is possible to identify the stages of the emotional and subconscious process we go through when healing, and understanding that process can speed our progress.

Listen to this week's podcast for the next part in the Healing Fundamentals series in which we explore what I call the Six Stages of Awareness.

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One of my favorite characteristics of my clients is their willingness to take responsibility for what is going on in their lives. When we take responsibility, we put ourselves into a position to create lasting change.

At the same time, it is possible for us to take too much responsibility. Taking responsibility for the aspects of our lives that we do not control presents a number of problems. We end up being too hard on ourselves when things go badly, and we spend time and energy trying to change what we cannot.

In this week's podcast we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by looking at where we take too much responsibility, how to recalibrate our sense of responsibility so we can focus on the areas where we can effect real change.

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In this week's podcast we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by looking at the ways the people in our lives put up resistance when we heal and change.

AND I don't mean the people who don't like us or those who are jealous of what we have.

In this case I am talking about how our loved ones, sometimes the people who are our biggest fans, can resist and even get in the way of our healing, transformation, and success.

This is because the people in our lives want us to change, just as long as they don't also have to change.

In this week's podcast I break down why this happens, how it can hold us back from change and personal transformation, and what we can do to address the issue.

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In this week's podcast we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by looking at the subconscious mind in a completely different way.

When we recognize the ways in which the subconscious mind holds us back from taking positive action, it is almost always in terms of the resistance and fear that come up.

While this is true, it is not the only way the subconscious can get in our way. One of the unexpected obstacles to our healing and transformation has to do with the way in which the subconscious learns new information and how it evolves over time.

In learning something new, the subconscious mind rapidly turns the new normal into the normal, and then almost completely forgets what was the old normal.

This week in the podcast we explore why the new normal becoming the normal can be a block to us creating change and transformation.

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This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals by looking at why our subconscious mind and memory is faulty.

The reality is that nobody has a perfect memory. Even those with a photographic memory cannot remember everything.

In small ways, this can be a minor irritant as we misremember small details in our daily lives. These memory missteps can cause miscommunication and inconvenience.

In big ways, our faulty memory can cause real issues as we navigate our day. If I misremember something as my fault, I may stop trusting myself. If I misremember myself as not doing something well enough, I might see myself as a failure.

Our understanding of the world and of ourselves is based on our memories, so it is important that the stories we tell about ourselves and the world are as accurate as possible.

This week in the podcast we look at why the human memory is faulty and (most importantly) what we can do about it to create deeper healing and more transformation in our lives.

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This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series with a look at resistance.

Just because we know what to do, how to do it, and why it is important to take an action, does not mean we will actually take that action.

In order for us to take consistent action, we need to clear as much resistance as possible.

In this week's podcast we take a deep dive into why resistance shows up and prevents us from taking action, AND how to clear that resistance so that we can keep taking positive action over time to create lives we love.

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The Helping Addicts Recover Progressively (HARP) program at the county jail in Chesterfield, VA is a beacon of hope and light in the world.

The program is designed to help inmates who are struggling with issues of addiction to heal and recover so that when they are released, they are able to live healthier and happier lives.

One of the many tools taught in the program is Trauma Tapping Technique (TTT), which is a version of tapping created by the Peaceful Heart Network.

As part of this year's 24 Hours of Tapping event we were lucky enough to have a conversation with Kerri Rhodes who works full time in the HARP Program, as well as hearing from one of the jail deputies and a number of the inmates.

They share their stories of how they learned tapping, how it has helped them, and how they have shared it with the other people in their lives.

This conversation will not only touch your heart, but it will inspire you to tap more and to share tapping with others.

It was such an honor to have this conversation and I highly recommend that you check it out right now!

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Guest: Kerri Rhodes

Bio: Kerri Rhodes is a licensed mental health clinician with 30 years of experience, personally touched by the opioid epidemic and fueled by the loss of her son, Taylor. With a powerful message and rapidly growing platform, Kerri is challenging and changing how America treats and addresses mental health, trauma and substance use disorder.

Kerri has spent the last 29 years working in schools, community mental health, the justice system, and private practice. She brings her expertise to bear as she educates and empowers, in addition to drawing on the lessons Taylor taught her.

Her platform has reached schools, prisons, and national leaders. Invitations to speak, collaborate and teach are growing and include work with Weill Cornell Medicine, Shatterproof, Discovery Channel Plus, Senator Patrick Kennedy, Psychology Today, and the National Safety Council.

Kerri is currently a trauma therapist in the Chesterfield County Jail and works with the HARP program that helps those incarcerated with substance use and mental health issues to heal. The HARP program has certified over 100 inmates in the Trauma Tapping Technique in collaboration with the Peaceful Heart Network.

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This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series by looking at how the subconscious mind's understanding of the world influences every choice we make.

The subconscious mind is a valuable tool in helping us to navigate the world. It holds all our understanding about how the world works in the form of memories, patterns, stories, and beliefs.

This allows us to navigate the world without having to think constantly about our environment and everything we are experiencing. Problems arise, however, when one of the beliefs about ourselves or the world that is stored in the subconscious mind is wrong.

When this happens, we base our action on faulty information, which can only lead to problems.

In this week's podcast we explore how the subconscious impacts our choices in the moment AND how we can transform the inaccurate information from which it is working.

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This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series with a lesson that is critical to understand if you want to clear self-sabotage and take more consistent action.

One of the best parts of our subconscious mind is that it is a learning machine. It takes in all of our experiences and uses them to decipher how the world works.

The type of lessons it is best at learning are around keeping us safe. The subconscious mind takes note of when something goes wrong and remembers it so that we can avoid it in the future.

The problem comes when it only remembers negative memories, or it gives too much weight to negative memories.

That is why we say the subconscious mind has a "negativity bias"; it is biased toward the negative.

This week in the podcast we examine the negativity bias and how you can use tapping to overcome it.

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This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series with a lesson that is critical to understand if you want to clear self-sabotage and take more consistent action.

One of the best parts of our subconscious mind is that it is a learning machine. It takes in all of our experiences and uses them to decipher how the world works.

The type of lessons it is best at learning are around keeping us safe. The subconscious mind takes note of when something goes wrong and remembers it so that we can avoid it in the future.

The problem comes when it only remembers negative memories, or it gives too much weight to negative memories.

That is why we say the subconscious mind has a "negativity bias"; it is biased toward the negative.

This week in the podcast we examine the negativity bias and how you can use tapping to overcome it.

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This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series with what I think is the most controversial fundamental of the whole series...at least at first glance.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from my clients is when they are berating themselves for all of the times they have made poor choices, even when "they should have known better!"

When this happens, they beat themselves up emotionally for being "so stupid" or "weak" or "thoughtless".

The reality is we are always making the best possible choice. This is a healing fundamental (with two important caveats) and once understood, your personal transformation and healing will be easier, and longer lasting.

Listen or watch here to see how you can add this controversial idea to your healing practice.

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This week we are continuing the Healing Fundamentals series, where we are covering the ideas and concepts that underlie every part of the healing and transformational process.

This week we are talking about fear.

Fear has an entire episode dedicated to it because it is the one emotion that is most likely to hold us back. Understanding the evolutionary reason behind fear and why it shows up in the moment makes it much easier to create transformation.

In this episode I teach you the hows and whys of fear, and two simple tapping tools you can use to clear it that will help you to take positive action towards your goals.

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It can often feel like our negative emotions are the enemy and it makes sense why. When we experience negative emotions, we feel bad AND they also get in the way of us making better choices in the moment.

That is why when Gary Craig created his version of tapping, he called it "Emotional Freedom Techniques" because there is such a strong human desire to escape strong negative emotions.

For me, the process isn't just about escaping negative emotions, but also understanding them. Each of the negative emotions we feel is our internal guidance system trying to communicate a specific piece of information via the emotion.

An understanding of what information the emotion is trying to convey makes the journey to healing and transformation so much easier!

This week's podcast is the first in a new series on Healing Fundamentals that will explore the underpinnings of the transformational process. The information conveyed by our emotions is the first part of the series because I believe that it is the lynchpin in the wider healing process.

Here is how I think about what negative emotions are trying to say and, most importantly, how we can use that information to create transformation.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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The fear of success is the single most difficult type of resistance to uncover.

I know it sounds strange to fear success, but it is a lot more common than you might think.

The subconscious mind may fear success because it is worried that we might have success and then lose it, or once we have it, it becomes hard to maintain, or we will have to keep working really hard (if not harder) to maintain that success, to name just a few scenarios.

Because it doesn't seem logical or obvious to fear success, it can be hard to uncover those limiting beliefs.

This week in the podcast I share some simple questions you can ask yourself (or your clients) to uncover fears around being successful when working on taking positive action towards your goals.

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After working with clients for many years, I have come to the realization that we are notoriously bad eyewitnesses to our own experiences.

We are great at telling stories about our experiences, our past, and our traumas, but unfortunately they aren't always true.

This can hinder our transformation because without a clear understanding of our experience, it is hard to heal. We can spend time tapping on issues that feel big and important, only to find out that they have nothing to do with the root cause of the issue at hand.

In this week's podcast I share a phrase that will make it easier to get accurate information about your own experience and speed the healing process.

You can use this phrase when tapping on your own and when working with clients. You can even use the phrase in a normal conversation when helping out a friend.

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Sometimes we have to do tasks that we just don't like because they are no fun, such as having to scrub the inside of a smelly old garbage can, or doing yard work at three in the afternoon on a hot summer's day.

There are other tasks where the reason we avoid doing them is less clear. Hidden behind our reluctance is the key to understanding our resistance to taking action.

When we are able to decode our resistance and uncover the hidden meaning behind it, then we have a powerful tool for clearing our self-sabotaging behaviors.

This week in the podcast I share with you three lenses you can use to find hidden limiting beliefs in the tasks you don't like.

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Just because we know what to do, how to do it, and have everything we need to take action, it doesn't mean we actually take action.

For me, this is one of the most frustrating places to be because it is clear that I am set up for success AND I am the one getting in my own way.

The tricky part of this situation is identifying the resistance hindering us from taking action because it is seldom obvious.

We wind up frustrated and confused by our inaction, and then we beat ourselves up for not taking action.

This week in the podcast I share two simple questions you can ask yourself to help uncover the root causes of your reluctance to move forward. I use these questions every day when tapping on my own and when working with clients.

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As humans, we are great at complaining!

And I don't mean that as a put-down because there is a sound evolutionary reason why we excel at complaining. A complaint is a recognition of something that is bad, painful, or distasteful.

This is the subconscious mind's way of keeping us safe. When we point out what is negative, it makes it easier to recognize and avoid it in future. The problem is that the subconscious is good at avoiding the undesirable, but poor at finding what is better.

This week we are continuing the My Favorite Tapping Phrases series with a phrase that will help you to find what you want instead.

This is a phrase I use with my goal setting AND with my tapping, and I know you will love it too.

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It is so common to apologize when we get emotional in front of others.

You may feel like you are overreacting, or being extra, or that you are burdening the people around you.

Awareness of how our emotions can impact others is a good thing, BUT it is also important that we don't just bottle up or suppress strong emotions.

In this week's podcast, we are continuing the My Favorite Tapping Phrases Series with the phrase I use for myself and with clients when strong or difficult emotions arise.

AND it is a phrase that will make you feel better just by saying it, though of course tapping with the phrase will be even more powerful.

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Our subconscious mind is brilliant at figuring out cause and effect relationships. That is how we learn.

If I touch a hot stove and it hurts, I learn not to touch a hot stove again. I smile at someone and find that they are more likely to be nice to me, so I learn that people often reflect my behavior.

Because all of this happens at an unconscious level, we don't notice these connections. Instead, we are constantly learning from observation and experience in the background.

This is great…EXCEPT when we learn the wrong lessons!

One of the ways in which the subconscious mind learns the wrong lesson is by assuming that because something was a certain way in the past, it will be that same way in the future.

Our past impacts and informs our future, but it does not predetermine what comes next.

This week, as we continue the My Favorite Tapping Phrase Series, I share the tapping phrase I use to help create a shift from feeling stuck in the past, to creating a new path forward. I also explain how easy it is to add this phrase to your current tapping practice.

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One of the biggest obstacles to transformation and healing is our history.

It would be one thing if we were simply trying to add a new worldview or belief, but trying to replace an old belief with a new one is a completely different process.

When trying to create change, we are trying to unroot the lessons that our history has taught us.

In this week's podcast we are continuing the My Favorite Tapping Phrase Series with my go-to phrase for work on replacing the past beliefs that no longer serve us with something that is more useful today

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Our healing journey doesn't always go as planned.

Sometimes we stall. Sometimes progress is slower than we'd like. And sometimes (heaven forbid) we actually backslide.

Hitches and delays are an inevitable part of the healing and transformation process. How we respond to these moments determines how quickly we return to the healing path.

This week, as we continue the My Favorite Phrases Series, I am sharing the tapping phrase I find most valuable when things are not going as planned, why it is such a hard phrase to say out loud, and why that is actually good news.

It is a phrase I use daily when tapping on my own and with my clients.

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A key characteristic of the subconscious mind is how it tends to perceive the world in black and white.

Given this all-or-nothing disposition, it can sometimes be difficult to see a way forward or believe that better is possible.

In this week's podcast, we talk about the power of the tapping phrase "I am open to the possibility..." and how it can soften the subconscious mind's "all-or-nothing" stance.

Not only do I share why the phrase is useful, I also share all the ways in which I use it when tapping on my own issues and with clients.

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One of the exciting prospects that tapping opens up for us is the possibility of creating meaningful change in our lives.

AND tapping creates that internal change much faster than many other tools.

This speed is great, except for the fact it can also give rise to unrealistic expectations about how quickly we believe transformation should happen.

When the change we want does not happen instantaneously (or as quickly as we would like), it is easy to feel frustrated, or even demotivated, in the midst of the healing process.

This week I share my favorite tapping phrase to help with this frustration.

As an added bonus, of all the tapping phrases I use with my clients, this is the one that is most likely to cause them to laugh (and humor can be a great tool in the healing process).

Let me know how you incorporate a phrase like this one into your tapping in the comments below.

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The main job of the subconscious mind is to keep us safe.

It is constantly on the alert for anything in our environment that could be harmful.

This is great...except when it is not.

It is not so great when it causes us needless worry.

Even with its constant desire to keep us from harm, the subconscious mind is good at recognizing the places in our lives where we are normally safe. For example, many people regard their home as a place of safe and predictable sanctuary, so their whole system relaxes when they walk in their front door.

I have found using the phrase "I give myself permission..." can do exactly the same thing when we are tapping. Letting our subconscious mind know it is in a safe space allows it to be less vigilant and more relaxed, which in turn makes healing easier.

In this week's podcast I share the many different contexts in which I use the phrase "I give myself permission..." and how you can start to use it in your tapping right away.

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I love to learn and in the first decade of my tapping life, I consumed everything I could about tapping and transformation.

I subscribed to every newsletter I could find, I listened to podcasts, read books, and attended many live trainings.

In the process, I came across the work of Milton Erikson, the founder of the American Society for Clinical Hypnosis, who is often referred to as the Dean of American Hypnosis.

Right away, I latched on to his idea that "All transformation starts by stating what is." By this, Milton Erikson meant that we cannot create real and lasting change until we level with ourselves. If we are unwilling to be honest about what we are struggling with and where we are stuck, then it is practically impossible to create meaningful change.

I see this idea as so important that if you go back and listen to any of the tap-alongs I have created in the last 10 years, you will find reference to this idea.

In this week's podcast, I share with you how I employ this idea in my tapping, and how you can add it to your tapping right away!

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One of the primary functions of our subconscious mind is to keep us safe.

The subconscious is constantly on the lookout for possible danger or trouble, and steers us away from anything that is unpredictable, such as taking new and bold action. In seeking to avoid putting us at risk, our subconscious will choose the predictably bad over the unpredictable.

One of the ways to ease the resistance created by the subconscious is to tap on possibilities. In this week's podcast I teach you how I tap for possibility and how this will make taking action so much easier.

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In most areas of my life, I have found that taking some time to think about what I am trying to accomplish and my motivation sets me up for a better outcome.

I am more present to the action I am taking. I am more attentive to what is and is not working. And I am much more likely to take the most effective actions because I'm clear about what I am trying.

This is especially true with tapping. Without clarity on what you are trying to achieve with a round of tapping, it is easy to jump from issue to issue without ever completely clearing any one issue. It is also hard to gauge whether or not to continue tapping on an issue without a clear sense of your goal.

Last weekend I led a mindset expansion day for a number of my students. We spent close to four hours tapping on those niggly internal limiting beliefs that hold us back from creating authentic lives that we love.

To start the day, we did some tapping around the group's intentions for the day. It was a powerful round of tapping and it was the perfect set-up for a powerful day of transformation.

This is something you can do before every round of tapping to get even more benefit out of your sessions.

In this week's podcast I teach you how I set my intention for a tapping session AND I include the tapping we did as a group.

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A recent Harvard study found that 36% of the population of the United States, with some groups (such as young adults) experiencing a much higher prevalence of loneliness.

Not only does the study point out that loneliness is becoming a serious issue, it also shows "the potentially steep costs of loneliness, including early mortality and a wide array of serious physical and emotional problems, including depression, anxiety, heart disease, substance abuse, and domestic abuse."

I know that I have experienced more loneliness and disconnection in the last few years than at any other period in my life, and even post-pandemic it's a concern I work on with many of my clients.

In this week's podcast I share a simple tap-along audio to help with the feeling of loneliness and disconnection.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Recently, I was watching the behind-the-scenes documentary of Six Impossible Things. Six Impossible Things was a magic show created by one of the best close-up magicians alive today, Joshua Jay.

In the documentary Joshua and his creative team not only reveal how the tricks are done, but they explain everything they did to create the show and make it a success.

Near the end of the documentary Joshua shares the three phrases he reads to himself before every show to ensure he is ready. As a performer myself, I know how easy it is not to be fully present to a presentation that you have given hundreds or thousands of times.

I liked the idea so much that I asked myself the question, "What do I want to remind myself of before each client call to ensure I am at my best for every client?"

After playing with the idea for a number of weeks, I settled on four phrases that I say to myself before every client session.

In this week's podcast I share those phrases with you, and how you can use them yourself, whether tapping with a client or on your own.

Even if you don't use my phrases, I have a feeling that my thought process will help you to figure out what reminders you need to get the most out of tapping.

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I recorded this podcast two weeks after returning from East Africa. Even two weeks after getting home, I was having a really hard time staying focused.

My body was recovering from crossing seven time zones and the shock of adjusting from 97° F one day, to 7° F the next.

My heart and mind were still recovering from the many stories of suffering and overcoming that suffering that we heard in schools, a prison, and refugee camps.

Even if you haven't traveled from the other side of the world, you might not feel as present and grounded as you'd like. In this week's podcast I share with you a simple tap-along that will take you less than four minutes and will help you to be more present and grounded in this moment.

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Scientific research is increasingly backing up what those of us in the space of transformation have known for decades: our emotional health impacts our physical health.

On one level, this is very exciting. It offers us fresh ways to think about the healing process and frees us from only thinking about the body as a machine that sometimes breaks down.

On another level, it brings a new level of complexity to the healing process. When we experience physical discomfort, is that because of a physical issue, an emotional issue…or both?

These new options may make deciding on the best path to healing more difficult.

In this week's podcast I explore how I think about both physical and emotional issues AND how to figure out where to start with your tapping.

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In September of 2007 I created Tapping Q and A with the express purpose of creating resources that would make it easier for people to get the most out of tapping. The tag line has been "Answers to the most common (and uncommon) questions about tapping, so that you can get the most out of each round of tapping."

Recently, I have had a change of heart.

I no longer want to help people just to tap more effectively. Instead, I want to help them to create lives they love by using tapping more effectively.

That might not seem like a very big change. It might even appear to be no change at all.

For me, the change is significant. In this week's podcast I explain what I mean by this shift in focus, and how I believe it will make tapping a more useful tool for you in practice.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this idea in the comments below.

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For most people, the words thankful and grateful are interchangeable. But even though they are very similar, there is a small but significant difference between their definitions.

I am not super concerned about whether you are using either word correctly, however I do think that there is an important distinction between thankful and grateful as it relates to our healing and transformation work.

I was introduced to the distinction in one of my favorite podcasts Go Fact Yourself. Go Fact Yourself is a quiz show in which the first round is called Split The Difference where the contestants are asked to provide definitions of two words that are very close in meaning to illustrate their difference.

In episode 114 the contestants were asked to split the difference between thankful and grateful. The correct answer was a revelation for me!

In this week's podcast I share the difference between thankful and grateful, as well as how both of those fit into our transformational process.

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When we are tapping there is no such thing as the "right" or "best" words to use in our tapping phrases. There are words and phrases that are useful, and there are words and phrases that aren't useful.

One set of phrases might work perfectly one day, but not so well the next.

The words we use are often related directly to what is going on in our lives, what we are feeling in our body, or what issue we would like to clear.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Sometimes the most useful words are written by someone else that we didn't even know we needed to tap on.

Over the last few weeks I have been doing a little experimental tapping work in what I call The Tapping Lab. (You can read more about the lab here.) One of the experiments that I did was tapping to an English translation of the Tao Te Ching.

In that process I came across a chapter that turned out to contain the perfect tapping phrases for me.

In this week's podcast I share my experience of tapping with the Tao Te Ching, how you can do the same with this (or any) text, and I share with you the chapter that resonated so powerfully for me.

You can even tap along with me on how to create new and healthier ways of showing up in the world.

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I am always open to feedback from my readers, even when it is critical. We are all notoriously bad eyewitnesses to our own experience, so this sort of feedback can be helpful in understanding how we are perceived by others.

One piece of feedback that I have heard a number of times in the last few months is that I come across as very hard on myself.

I think this is down to two reasons.

First, in an effort to share my experience with you so that you can avoid some of the mistakes I have made, I tend to focus on my past struggles in my writings and recording.

Second, I am probably hard on myself more often than I should be!

In this week's podcast I explore the line between being overly self-critical and being honest with ourselves so that we can create meaningful change in our lives.

I then do some tapping on the issue, which I think you too may find useful.

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A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to be one of the speakers at the 2022 Energy Fest put on by Donna Eden and David Feinsten. I wasn't just lucky to be in the room, but also to have the opportunity to hear presentations from world-class speakers who are doing some of the most provocative healing work out there.

One of those speakers was the transcendent Dr. Thema Bryant. I do not have the words to describe the force of nature that this woman is. Her presentation was worth the price of admission alone.

At one point during Dr. Bryant's presentation, she asked the question "Do you want to be whole?" The audience quickly and enthusiastically screamed back "YES!"

Dr. T paused, smiled a smile as radiant as one thousand suns, and asked "Are you sure?"

She then proceeded to talk about what is required to be whole. The question then wasn't really "Do you want to be whole?", but instead "Are you willing to do the work that is required to be whole?"

That is a much deeper (and harder) question to answer.

I went directly from the Energy Fest to boarding a cruise ship with my family to sail up the Northeastern coast of the US and into the Maritime provinces of Canada. This gave me a lot of time to stare over the ocean and ponder this question.

This week in the podcast I share what that question stirred in me. I have also included some of the tapping prompted by my reflection as I pondered the process of becoming whole.

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I am incredibly proud of the 24 Hours of Tapping and the fact that we raised over $31,000 for the Peaceful Heart Network.

What you don't know is that a key reason why I ran the event is because I was running away from something else. That wasn't the only reason I ran the event. It wasn't the primary reason I ran the event. BUT it was a major factor in running the event.

In this week's podcast I share with you what I was running from, why I was running, and the lessons I learned from finally facing my fears.

I hope my struggle is instructive in helping you to identify and overcome when you are running away from something important in your own life.

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One of the biggest frustrations of the tapping process is the fact that it is a process. One-minute miracles do exist, but they are rare.

Naturally, part of us would like transformation to happen immediately, while another part of us understands that healing is more often a process that takes time. When these two parts are in conflict, it can slow down your healing progress.

In this week's podcast, I share how to manage this sort of internal discord so that you can smooth the way for more rapid and lasting healing.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Recently I was working with a client who was struggling with her wish to communicate some hard truths with certain friends in her life.

She felt stuck because she knew that her friends would not like what she wanted to share. On one hand, she knew what she needed to say AND at the exact same time, she did not want to be unkind.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation where our desire to be authentic and our desire to be kind are in conflict.
In this week's podcast we talk about (and tap for) finding a balance between being kind and being a doormat.

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In the last few months I have been giving a lot of thought to the nature of tapping and its applications. For the longest time I have thought of tapping as an approach to creating transformation.

I am starting to change my mind about this.

Instead of being a single approach, I begin to understand tapping as a tool that can accommodate multiple approaches that are dictated by the issue we are working on, the skill of the tapping practitioner, and whether we are working alone or with someone else.

The first level of analysis involves developing my understanding of what the healing process looks like for a particular issue.

Recently, I have been describing this with the help of an analogy involving motorcycle jumps and lily pads. In this week's podcast I talk about the difference between these two approaches and how they can make all the difference in the transformation that you can achieve with tapping.

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Last weekend I did a one-hour livestream tap-along and took recommendations from the viewers as to which topics we should tap on.

During that hour we tapped on:

Giving ourselves permission to do self-care
Feeling hesitant to make important decisions
Perfectionism
Getting our enthusiasm back
Worry about upcoming changes that we don't control
Fear of missing out
Concern about negative self-talk taking over our emotions
Fear of sharing your work with potential clients
Letting go of anger and resentment

Below you will find the recording of the live stream from YouTube as well as an mp3 version of the tap-along that you can download and take with you.

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One of the concepts from my NLP training that has stayed with me is the idea that we don't emotionally respond to how the world is, but instead to how we describe the world.

An example I often use is of someone saying "Everyone at work hates me!" It is possible that everyone at work might hate the person making that claim, but it is unlikely to be everyone.

BUT if that is how work is described, then the person saying this will walk into their office with their guard up, fearing every interaction with their co-workers.

In this week's podcast we dive into the difference between need, desire, and preference, and how you can incorporate this understanding into your tapping practice to allow for more rapid personal transformation.

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One of the biggest struggles reported by tappers when tapping on their own is knowing where to start and what to say. When we sit down to tap, all we often know is that we don't feel great.

In this week's podcast I share two phrases that you can use to start any tapping session to start you off on the right foot.

When you use these two simple phrases one of two things happen next. Either the phrases will get you going and your intuition will take over and lead you to what you should tap on next OR you can keep using the phrases over and over again, leading you to the relief you are seeking.

Even more important than these two phrases is the fundamental concept of healing on which they are based. I believe that this simple concept is one of the most important foundations of any kind of healing and personal transformation work.

Listen to the podcast to hear more about this idea and how you can incorporate it into your tapping.

Listen and learn!

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What the video presentation of this week's episode here: http://tappingqanda.com/531

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One of the characteristics I most love about my clients is their capacity for compassion and their awareness of the suffering and struggles of others. Because this is the case, my clients are helpers and healers to others.

And this is a wonderful thing!

At the same time, when we are aware of the suffering of others, we have a tendency to shortchange our own transformation.

We end up saying things like "I have it so much better than other people."

But just because we are more fortunate than many others doesn't mean that we have to shortchange our transformation or feel selfish because we are taking care of ourselves.

The reality is if you feel (consciously or subconsciously) you are being selfish by trying to heal, then you will sabotage any efforts to create healing and transformation in your life.

In this week's podcast I am sharing a tap-along I did with one of the participants in the ID Transformation Retreat. During our follow-up sessions, a week after the retreat, one of the participants shared how selfish she was feeling for spending her time, money and focus on the retreat day.

The tapping I am sharing helped her to recognize that taking care of herself is not selfish, but actually an empowering step towards being the person she wants to be in the world.

Even if you don't think this is an issue you struggle with, I encourage you to tap along. I believe that this is one of the hidden issues that holds many of us back from creating the life we want.

On the off-chance you have this belief lurking in your subconscious mind, it is worth taking a few minutes to tap along to this.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Last Saturday I ran the *ID Transformation Retreat". Over the course of the day we had the opportunity to heal and release many past ideas and beliefs that we have about ourselves.

As the day was drawing to a close, I gave everyone the chance to ask any lingering questions. Here is what one of the participants shared:

I'm feeling a lot of emotions today. I feel like some of it is related to the tool about letting things go. I have recognized that I have all that I need within me to be the type of person I want to be. I feel like a lot of the emotions today were letting go of my old self.

AND there's a lot of grief about that. All day long there have been so many emotions and I just wanted to ask about any advice you have for dealing with this outflow of emotion.

My response was the tapping session I am sharing with you today. We tapped for letting go of our past selves, honoring who we were in the past, acknowledging the change we want, and accepting the change we are going through.

The tapping was powerful and the perfect way to wrap up the day.

As you are going through any sort of change, big or small, this is the perfect way to consolidate the process and make the change easier.

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Although you can learn tapping in just a few minutes, it can take a lifetime to uncover all the subtle nuances in its application.

Over the course of years of doing thousands of tapping sessions with clients, I have learned that there are few simple steps we can take at the beginning of a session to make the healing process quicker and smoother.

A few weeks ago I gave a presentation at the Spring Energy Event on 5 simple things that you can do to begin a tapping session to get the most out of it.

This week's podcast is that presentation. All of the tapping phrases that I talk about during this presentation can be found in this download

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Tapping is an amazing tool that can help us to turn our mood around when we are going through a rough patch. It can also be powerful enough to clear out deeply rooted traumas and limiting beliefs. When tapping for these types of issues the approach is fairly straightforward. Sometimes we are too close to the issue to tap effectively on our own and then the help of a skill tapping practitioner can be invaluable. Even when this happens, the process of the work itself is easy to understand.

There are other times where we just don't know where to start, such as when we hit rock bottom emotionally. This is way more than a low mood or a couple of challenging days. Hitting rock bottom means feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions, and any relief provided by tapping is fleeting.

In this week's podcast I share a straightforward four-step process you can use when you hit one of these patches. It's a useful process for rough times in general, but particularly potent when you are in despair and feel unable to bounce back from rock bottom.

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If you are in any way familiar with tapping, then you have repeatedly heard how important it is to get to the root cause of an issue. The thinking is that by finding and dealing with the root cause, we will be able to take care of the whole issue.

Much like if you kill the roots of a plant, the entire plant will wilt and die.

This teaching makes perfect sense but I think most people make a critical error when trying to implement it. And that mistake is that they focus only on the root cause, to the exclusion of everything else.

I believe there is an essential step we should take before diving into the root cause. Adding this step means we can clear root causes more quickly AND enjoy longer lasting results.

In this week's podcast I talk about what I believe is a key step to transformation and how you can implement it in your own tapping work right away.

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One of the foundational beliefs of the work I do is that every part of our system is working for our highest good. Even when the system isn't working perfectly, we can appreciate its intention is that we are healthy and safe.

For example, the part of me that is preventing me from talking about the work I do for a living is trying to help me avoid rejection, even though intellectually I know that not talking about my work will hinder my success. I know the approach isn't helpful, but I can appreciate why the resistance exists.

This is great except when we are unsure why the resistance is holding us back.

Recently, I was tapping on an issue with the phrase "I appreciate that this resistant part of my system is trying to keep me healthy, even though the way it is going about it is actually holding me back."

Before I even finished saying the phrase, another part of my system spoke up in what can only be described as a profanity-laced tantrum about how "No! It doesn't appreciate the resistance. AND the only reason I haven't healed is because of this #%^&*@ resistance!!!"

In this week’s podcast we look at how to tap when we are just like this part that’s frustrated at a lack of progress and unwilling to accept the intention of the resistance causing it.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Feeling out of control is one of the hardest emotions to overcome. This is true whether we feel personally out of control or if our circumstances feel that way.

The reality is that we are surrounded by things we do not control every single day, but we cope by recognizing that even though we don't control everything, we control enough to get what we want.

This week's podcast explores why the subconscious mind responds the way it does when we are feeling out of control and, more importantly, how to release that feeling. In the podcast I teach what you can do to prepare for situations that feel out of control and how tapping can help when you find yourself feeling out of control.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

Support the podcast: http://tappingqanda.com/support

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As humans we are constantly changing and evolving.

Sometimes this happens gently over a long passage of time. At other times major events in our lives cause us to see ourselves and the world in new ways.

Even as this change is happening, our subconscious mind clings to the definitions of who we were and how the world was. It does this because the subconscious mind is most comfortable when the world is consistent and predictable.

The subconscious perceives change as unpredictable and therefore dangerous.

For that reason, the unconscious mind is slow to catch up when we change our definitions of ourselves. This means that even when we change how we see ourselves, our actions don't always match the new version of ourselves.

This week's podcast explores how we can tap to release outdated definitions of ourselves so that our actions can match who we are today.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Sometimes we spend time with people whose lives are very different from our own.

They might have different jobs, make more money than us, have success or notoriety, or access to opportunities that we will never have.

When this happens it is so easy to feel like we don't belong. It can even undermine our confidence and sense of self-worth.

This week's podcast explores how we can respond to these kinds of situations and includes a tap-along to help you feel more secure and boost your self-esteem.

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The most common question I receive from my readers and listeners is "What are the best phrases for [insert issue] when tapping?"

The reality is there are no magic phrases, only ones that are useful or not.

At the same time, there is something that is often overlooked when tapping. For tapping to be the most effective it is less about the words you use and more about your focus.

In this week's podcast I explore how we can tune in to issues in a way that will lead to optimal results and how you can easily incorporate this in your tapping.

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Don't forget to check out the Tapping Success Academy if you are serious about getting better results with your tapping: http://tappingsuccessacademy.com

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One of the reasons that I love the tapping community is because it is filled with so many thoughtful and caring people. These are people who want to make the world a better place and often are willing to go above and beyond to care for others.

At the same time, this can also be problematic because constantly taking care of everyone else means we have a tendency to put ourselves last.

AND in some cases it is worse than putting ourselves last. Sometimes we completely forget our own needs and aren't doing anything at all to take care of ourselves.

In the last few weeks I have come to an interesting revelation as to why this happens. This episode of the podcast explores this issue and what we can do about it.

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Don't forget to check out the Tapping Success Academy if you are serious about getting better results with your tapping: http://tappingsuccessacademy.com

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It is odd to think about the word toxic being associated with kindness, but I have noticed a growing conversation around the idea of "toxic kindness".

Toxic kindness can be described as encouragement in a difficult time that actually makes you feel worse.

For example, when you are having an emotionally challenging time and people tell you "Don't worry! Everything is going to work out just fine." On one level that looks as if it is encouraging. At the same time it can also feel like your emotions are being dismissed.

I'm sure that the intention behind this sort of encouragement is good, but when we are in the middle of something hard, it doesn't feel helpful. Instead it can feel like our friends lack empathy OR that they don't think our feelings are valid.

Rather than the term toxic kindness, I like to call this kindhearted incompetence.

Here is a simple tap-along to help you when it feels like people aren't understanding your emotions or situation.

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Even when we have all the available information, it can still be hard to make important choices because few choices are 100% clearcut, without any uncertainty.

It's possible that something with a 99 out of 100 chance of working still might not work out.

This is particularly true when it comes to making choices related to our health. Modern science has given us more knowledge about the human body at this moment in history than we have ever had before, yet there is so much that remains unknown. Sometimes our well-informed choices still leave space for uncertainty.

Here is a simple tap-along to help you when you are feeling overwhelmed by having to make a choice in a time of uncertainty.

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I am completely fascinated by the concept of neuroplasticity.

Neuroplasticity is a term that refers to the ability of our brains to adapt to our environment and change with experience. That means that the brain's neurological pathways aren't set in stone, but are flexible and can be reshaped.

One one level we already understand this. We know that we can stop old habits (like smoking) and create new ones (like tapping).

At the same time, it wasn't until the 1960s that there was scientific proof that we could actually change our brains.

I find this really exciting for two reasons.

First, it means that we aren't stuck! We can change the way we see ourselves, see the world and, most importantly, change the way we feel.

Second, it makes me want to tap even more because it means I'm not just changing how I feel in the moment, it's also possible to make change at a neurological level that is lasting.

In this week's podcast my friend Dr. Kim D'Eramo and I discuss the relationship between neuroplasticity and the process of transforming anxiety and depression.

Kim gives a number of straightforward approaches that we can use with tapping to transform anxiety and depression in a way that isn't just about feeling better now, but will create long-term change.

Dr. Kim has also created an amazing 4-week program to help with chronic anxiety which you can read about here. (aff)

Supporters of the podcast have access to a bonus interview with Dr. Kim. Become a supporter today to have access to this and all the bonus podcasts.

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Guest: Dr. Kim D'Eramo

Contact: web @ DrKimDeramo.com; instagram @drkimderamo; youtube @YouAttractWellness; facebook @DrKimDeramo

About: Dr Kim D'Eramo graduated medical school in 2002 from University of New England College of Osteopathic Medicine, where she also completed a Fellowship in Osteopathic Medicine and Medical Gross Anatomy, as well as an undergraduate Fellowship in Neuroanatomy. She completed her Emergency Medicine residency at Emory University in 2005, and is board certified in Emergency Medicine.

Dr. Kim founded The American Institute of Mind Body Medicine (AIMBM) to train other doctors and health practitioners how to activate the body's ability to heal itself. Through AIMBM, she conducts live workshops and retreats, and assists clients online internationally.

Dr. Kim and her husband Dr. Mario Torres-Leon produced a Top-10 podcast “The Thrive Doctors” featuring the latest in MindBody healing.
In 2012 she published The MindBody Toolkit, which was a #1 Amazon Bestseller, and her work has also been featured on national television networks in America.

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Over the last few months I have been doing a lot of work on restructuring my business and reorganizing all of my content. This is a consequence of all the ways in which Tapping Q & A has changed and how I have evolved personally.

To make it easier for everyone to find the types of content that they are looking for I have created two new podcasts in addition to the Tapping Q & A Podcast.

Tapping Q & A Podcast: The Tapping Q & A Podcast will continue to focus on tapping. Its main focus will be on slightly more advanced and provocative tapping concepts. There will be a lot less tapping 101 content and much more on mastering the art of delivering tapping in a more effective way.

First Action, Best Action: One of the types of work I enjoy the most is helping people to eliminate self-sabotage so that they can take the most valuable actions over and over again and achieve their goals.

In doing this work I have come to realize that taking the best actions isn't just about organizing your to-do list well or having the right systems in place. It is also about changing the resource state that you are in when taking these actions. What I mean by "resource state" is whatever is impacting the resources we have at any given moment. This can include energy, focus, emotions we are feeling, and physical pain. If the first action we take is about changing our resource state, then all of the action we take after that will be better.

Thus the title First Action Best Action. Make your first action about changing your resource state for the better, which will allow you to take your best actions for the rest of the day.

The show is published four times a week. Most episodes are less than ten minutes long and will teach you one thing to help you get your day started on the right foot.

You can hear the full origin story of the podcast in episode 1.

Our Lady of Podcast: The second new podcast has nothing to do with tapping, productivity, or being more efficient in your day. Instead it is a personal spiritual reflection.

In each of the show's episodes I explore one of the titles of the Virgin Mary, such as Our Lady of Confidence, Cause of Joy, Mirror of Justice. Every episode is made up of three parts. First, I explore the virtue of the title and what it means. Second, I explore how I need this virtue in my life. Third, I reflect on how I am called to live that virtue out in my daily life.

This is a very personal podcast. To be honest, I am totally OK if no one but my mom listens to the show because it has been a vehicle for such valuable personal growth for me. Each episode takes around 20 hours of my time to produce, as I grapple with the content and try to wrap my mind around what I feel about it.

The first season is 10 episodes long, published approximately every two weeks.

I have written a book called "Prayer" to go along with the show. You can download a free copy here: https://ourladyofpodcast.com/ambassador/

Subscribe to the show in: Spotify | Google Podcasts | Apple Podcasts

Please let me know if you have any questions about any of the podcasts.

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Our bodies are giving us information all day long. We feel pain when we are injured, our stomach rumbles when we are hungry, and we feel butterflies when we are nervous, to name a few examples.

But just because our bodies are sending us signals does not mean that we are paying attention or interpreting the signals correctly.

The ability to understand what the body is saying to us is often called "somatic literacy".

In this week's podcast I share with you four ways in which you can improve your somatic literacy. By doing this you will:

Understand the messages your body is sending you
Be able to respond to these messages so that you can be healthier
Get better at hearing your body's messages and do it consistently

Improving your somatic literacy will make it easier for you to heal and transform because you have a clearer sense of the issues you are facing.

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Don't forget to check out the Tapping Success Academy if you are serious about getting better results with your tapping: http://tappingsuccessacademy.com

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It sometimes feels like your body is letting you down. No matter what you try, healing doesn't happen. This can lead to frustration and disappointment to the point where you feel like you are fighting your body and yourself.

In this week's podcast we explore three keys to understanding how our body and our overall system function. This simple understanding will give you the ability to understand what is going on in your system and, much more importantly, provides an insight as to what you should tap on.

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Don't forget to check out the Tapping Success Academy if you are serious about getting better results with your tapping: http://tappingsuccessacademy.com

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Tapping is a wonderful tool that can help us to feel better in the moment, which is why it’s sometimes referred to as emotional first aid.

As much as I love emotional first aid, I find tapping's ability to help us to clear fear and resistance so that we make better, more thoughtful choices even more impressive. If I am consistently able to make more choices that are congruent with my authentic self, then I am much less likely to be overwhelmed by emotions in the first place.

Emotional first aid is perfect for the moment. Clearing resistance and limiting beliefs sets me up for an easier, happier future.

With all that being said, I actually like making bad choices. And I don't mean that in a "I learn more from my failure than my successes" sort of way. I do think mistakes are a powerful way to learn, but that's not what I mean here.

I believe that making bad choices with no lesson to be learned has some interesting benefits.

But only in a certain context.

This week I share with you how I make bad choices, why I make bad choices, and how that relates to healing and tapping.

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Don't forget to check out the Tapping Success Academy if you are serious about getting better results with your tapping: http://tappingsuccessacademy.com

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In order to get the most out of a tapping session we know that the more specific we are about an issue, the faster we will get results.

In more than a decade of working with clients I have come to realize that 95% of all issues have the exact same core issue. In this week's podcast I share what that core issue is, the best way to uncover it (it only takes two questions), and how you can tap for that issue.

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Don't forget to check out the Tapping Success Academy if you are serious about getting better results with your tapping: http://tappingsuccessacademy.com

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We have all heard the old saying that "hindsight is 20/20 vision" because it is so much easier to look back and see how we could have done things differently from the vantage point of the present.

When this happens we can end up judging ourselves very harshly. The problem with this type of evaluation is we are judging our past self with new knowledge. It's easy to think "What on earth was I thinking?! It is so clear that was the wrong choice to make!" when in reality we were doing the best we could with the knowledge and information we had at the time of the choice.

In this week’s podcast I share a fresh approach you can take when evaluating your past choices and use it to guide you towards more effective healing.

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As my friend Jondi Whitis likes to say, "At our core we are herd animals." This statement has some profound impact when it comes to how we see ourselves, the actions we take, and how self-sabotaging behaviors show up in our lives.

When we are making choices and taking action, we aren't just considering facts and practicalities, we are also influenced by our genetic heritage.

This week I explore how some of our hardwired survival instincts impact our ability to make choices that line up with our authentic selves AND how we can use tapping to get past this and live the lives we want.

Link mentioned in the episode:

Pod #292: How We Inherit Trauma Genetically w/ Mark Wolynn
Pod #473: Attachment Trauma v Generational Trauma w/ Mark Wolynn

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One of my favorite ways to use tapping is to help people to take the actions they want more consistently. At this point it is probably the number one focus of my work with clients in private sessions.

It's an issue that I love working with BUT it doesn't mean that I am immune to self-sabotage in my own life.

In August of 2019 I conceived a new project that resonated with me all the way to my core. It felt more like a calling than a project. It is now 19 months later and I am just now getting around to doing it.

In this week's podcast I talk about how and why I got in my own way, the catalyst that pushed me past my fear and, most importantly, how you too can use these same steps to take charge of your own sabotaging behaviors.

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For the last few months I have been working on redesigning the Tapping Q & A website. I have come to the realization that the structure no longer serves everything that is happening on the site. In this week's podcast I'm sharing the new vision for Tapping Q & A and how it reflects the transformation that is happening in my own life.

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One of my favorite parts of running a question and answer website are the questions I am asked by readers and listeners like you. The reason I love it so much is because answering your questions pushes me to think about the work that I do in new ways so that I can clearly articulate and share my approach to tapping.

In this week's podcast I answer the following questions:

How do you approach tapping for guilt and shame?
Is it normal to have drastic ups and downs on the tapping journey? Sometimes I feel like I am making great progress only to fall back to where I was before.
What should I do if I am feeling too stressed and panicked even to think about tapping?
I have been suffering for 13 months with long COVID where I am dealing with symptoms daily. How would you tap for that?
Often when I'm tapping I get stuck in crying mode. Do you have any advice as to whether to allow myself to keep crying until it runs its course, or if I should do something to stop it?

If you have questions about tapping, please let me know.

Here are my answers to this week's questions.

(Don't forget, you can support the podcast and receive some wonderful thank you gifts!)

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The human experience is complicated. At times it can feel like we are being pulled in multiple directions, as if we are of two (or many) minds. I recently thought this was expressed perfectly on one of my favorite TV shows, Project Runway (US version). In the midst of struggling with choosing her creative direction one of the contestants, Victoria Cocieru, said “In my brain I have a thousand little brains and they are fighting with each other.”

It can be hard to take action or create a space for healing when we are of so many minds.

Alan Davidson was the perfect guest for a discussion of how humans can simultaneously be pulled in many different directions. I am a big fan of parts work and in this conversation Alan shares his unique and powerful work with archetypes, and we explore how it intersects with and complements parts work.

It was with huge sadness that I learned of Alan's death in April of 2021. This was one of the last interviews he did. He was a thoughtful practitioner, a loving man, and a friend. He will be missed, but the power of his work and words live on.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Guest: Alan Davidson

Contact: web @ https://throughyourbody.com/

About: Alan Davidson created Evolutionary Mystic Meditation, the synthesis of Voice Dialogue, Big Mind, EFT/Tapping and Shadow Work, and the founder of ThroughYourBody.com. He was also the author of Body Brilliance: Mastering Your Five Vital Intelligences, the #1 best-selling Health and Wellness book and winner of TWO national book of the year awards.

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Over the weekend my friend, and all-around amazing thinker and practitioner, Alan Davidson died. Next week I will be sharing the last interview I did with him.

In this week's podcast I would like to highlight the amazing interviews that I have done in the past about responding to grief. Grief is not an emotion that we only feel when a loved one passes away. It is an emotion we experience whenever we experience losses, no matter how big or small.

Here are all the past podcast episodes about grief. They include interviews with experts on grief as well as tap-along audios to help you to move through grief.

Pod #363: EFT for Grief w/ Lynne Staley
Pod #188: EFT for Grief w/ Sherry O’Brian
Pod #454: Tapping for Unprocessed Emotions From The Past
Pod #444: Tapping Over Grief For Lost Opportunities
Pod #404: Tapping For Grief And Loss
Pod #275: EFT For Grief

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Recently I was writing about the history of tapping, tracing the different tapping points used over time and also why different practitioners and innovators had added and subtracted points.

In doing the research I realized that a number of tapping points have "fallen out of favor". Usually this was to do with how to teach tapping in the easiest way possible and had nothing to do with the efficacy of the points.

In this week's podcast I explore three different tapping points that are seldom taught in current tapping training, but I think are super useful in achieving longer lasting results with your tapping.

This is a great opportunity for you to reacquaint yourself with these tools OR for you to learn about them for the first time. I use one of these tools almost daily with my clients because it is that useful and essential.

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Here in North America we are just emerging from a long, dark winter and many of my clients have shared their struggles with low energy levels, particularly first thing in the morning or when they hit a wall mid-afternoon.

This week's podcast shares a simple procedure to reset your energy. As I was recording this, even though I thought my energy levels were fine, I immediately started feeling an extra boost of energy and had to stifle a number of yawns while recording.

Even if you aren't feeling low energy right now you will feel better after tapping along to this.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Recently in a social media post a friend used the phrase "fiercely kind" which really stuck in my mind, although to be honest I wasn't exactly sure what it meant.

At one end of the spectrum we can be too kind-hearted for our own good, which is a kind way of saying we are being doormats to others. On the other end of the spectrum, we might think we know what is best for others and run them over with our ferocity.

Being fiercely kind falls somewhere in the middle of those two extremes where we make kindness a priority without coming across as pushy or all-knowing.

In this week's podcast I reflect more deeply on the idea of fierce kindness and tap to help make that a priority.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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The way that I have described the emotional toll of the last year is as if we are paying a 20% emotional tax every morning when we get up. This means that our energy is at a lower ebb, we think more slowly, and many everyday activities seem to take more effort.

As time passes this daily grind can accumulate into something bigger and more serious. It's not just a matter of moving more slowly, it's more like hitting an emotional wall.

That's exactly what happened to me in the middle of last month. I hit an emotional wall. In this week's podcast I talk about the steps I took to get past this emotional struggle and then we do some tapping to help you to do the same.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Twelve years ago today the very first episode of the Tapping Q and A Podcast was published, which means a little celebration is in order.

Sometimes we hold ourselves back from celebrating. Perhaps because we are worried the achievement isn't big enough to shout about, or others may think we are being immodest, or if we celebrate something small, then we will lower our standards.

I have found the exact opposite to be true. The more we celebrate our victories, no matter how small, the more we create a sense of momentum, which motivates us to take more action, and we are more appreciative of what we have.

This week we tap for celebrating our victories big and small.

I think it is something we should all do daily. Here is a simple tap-along and tapping script to help you do exactly that.

ALSO, please add some of your small victories down in the comment below so that we can all celebrate with you.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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For me, jealousy is one the most corrosive emotions. Jealousy floods the mind with all sorts of negative thoughts, leading us to think poorly about ourselves, about the object of our jealousy, and amplifies our feelings about the unfairness of the world.

That cascade of negative thoughts also leads us to feeling unmotivated because part of us feels like it is a total waste of time.

In this week's podcast I share my experience with professional jealousy, how I get past it, and then I share a simple tap-along that you can do for any type of jealousy.

Other resources mentioned in the podcast: Pod #462: Judgment v Evaluation

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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In my mind there are three main reasons why we tap.

The first is for emotional first aid. This is the tapping we do in the moment to help us when our emotions feel overwhelming.

The second is for clearing hurtful memories and limiting beliefs. I group these together because they are often intertwined, with painful memories being a common root cause of limiting beliefs. By tapping to clearing these we can create space to make better choices day to day.

The third is for building emotional resilience so that we are better able to cope and adapt when life doesn't go as planned. Being emotionally resilient doesn't mean our lives will be perfect, but instead means we are able to handle adversity or set backs so much better.

This third reason for tapping is often overlooked because it is not about responding to something that is happening, but instead about developing a new way of responding to events and circumstances.

In this week's podcast learn about the importance of emotional resilience and how to use tapping to cultivate it in yourself.

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All of us have experienced failures in our past. It is an unavoidable part of being human.

We fail because we didn't finish what we started, we didn't put in the effort we should have, or we didn't get the results we wanted.

Failure can be instructive, but if we continue to relive our failures emotionally, then they are longer lessons but instead become unhelpful emotional anchors.

This week we tap to release and let go of any past failures holding us back emotionally.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Recently I conducted a survey of my readers and listeners asking them what their biggest struggle with tapping is. There were five really common responses:

Not knowing where to start
* Having way too many issues to tap for
Not knowing what to say when tapping for a particular issue
Tapping consistently
* Finding that tapping for one issue turns into an avalanche of emotions that feel too daunting to manage

These responses were no surprise because I hear the same concerns from my clients all the time.

But there was a sixth response that was not only surprising, but also a little heartbreaking. It was: "I am not worthy of healing and transformation."

There are lots of reasons why someone might feel this way. We have squandered opportunities to heal in the past, we have made too many mistakes, it is too late and we should have started sooner, or simply it is something that is for others, but not for me.

To my great surprise, as I was recording this podcast I found my way to some of my own feelings of unworthiness. I didn't think it was something I was struggling with.

Even if you don't think this is an issue you struggle with, I encourage you to tap along as I have a feeling it is a hidden resistance for you as well.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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In the middle of the day it is easy to find ourselves distracted. One minute we are working on a task...the next we are sucked into one of our social media accounts, glued to a YouTube video, or conducting some frivolous internet research.

AND if we are not careful, we surface 30 minutes later and realise we haven't gotten anything done.

When this happens it is much more than just being distracted. Often it's because there is a part of us avoiding doing our work because on a subconscious level it feels painful or dangerous.

In this week's podcast I share a simple technique that will get you back on track in under three minutes AND help you to be more productive when you do.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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I spend a lot of time helping my clients to get clear about the actions they want to take. They often think their problem is not knowing exactly how to do what they want to do.

In reality, the problem isn't not knowing what to do next, it's about actually knowing what they want. If we don't know the direction in which we're heading, it's impossible to make a concrete plan.

In this week's podcast Carol Look shares with us a simple three-step process she calls The Yes Code. This process uses tapping to find emotional clarity about what we want, which then allows us to figure out what action to take next.

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Guest: Dr. Carol Look

Contact: web @ CarolLook.com; twitter @CarolLookEFT;

About Carol: A pioneer in the Energy Psychology field, Dr. Carol Look has brought unprecedented innovations to the application of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), and has produced outstanding results for her clients around the world.

Don’t forget to check out all of Carol's other podcast interviews

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We have all been trained to push on, to push through, and to maintain a stiff upper lip.

Sometimes that isn't possible. Sometimes there are hard things in our lives and we feel overwhelmed with sadness.

Right now there is so much going on in the world. Many of us feel disconnected, isolated, alone, anxious and overwhelmed. Some days are OK, other days not so much.

Late last week I was having one of those down days. So I gave myself permission just to be sad. To feel my emotions fully and let the tears flow.

After a good cry I did a little more tapping and recorded that tapping session, so you can tap along with me if you like.

Know you aren't alone.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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As one of the craziest years in living memory winds down, there is a great desire to find peace, calm, and stillness. This week's podcast contains a simple tap-along process to help calm your system and gain some mental clarity.

In addition, learn how to choose which tapping point to tap on next (you will be surprised by the analogy that I use).

This will only take a few minutes to do, but it is powerful. While recording this podcast I yawned no less than 10 times.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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There is no question that tapping is a valuable tool to have in your self-care tool box, but if we are not thoughtful in our approach, it is easy for us to miss out on some of the benefits of a tapping session.

If we aren't careful we can tap for thirty minutes, moving from topic to topic to topic, doing bits and bods of work here and there without ever making a big dent in any one issue.

This isn't to say that we need to know every exact detail we are going to work on when we tap in order to be successful, but I have found that if I have a clear intention for the type of tapping I am doing in a particular session, I am much more likely to get what I need out of it.

In this week’s podcast I share the five different types of tapping sessions I commonly do and how you can also use them to frame your own tapping work.

Past episodes of the podcast referenced in this episode:

Emotional First Aid w/ Jondi Whitis
Fight, Fight, Freeze, Fog, and Flop

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Most of us are familiar with thinking of fear in terms of flight or flight. In reality, fear shows up in many different flavors. There is fight, flight, freeze, fog, and flop, to name just a few of the possible ‘f words’ we might experience.

The feeling of fear engages both our autonomic nervous and polyvagal systems. There are active and passive responses to fear, as well as engaging and disengaging actions.

An understanding of the different ways in which fear shows up in our experience serves us in two ways. First, it helps us to understand when we are feeling fear. I know that sounds weird, but we often experience fear without realizing it. Second, once we identify fear, we can unpack what the fear is and tap to bring it down.

If you find yourself easily distracted during the day or not getting enough done, it’s likely there is an element of fear at play.

In this week's podcast I share an easy way to identify fear, what it is afraid of, and how to tap for it.

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Managing major transitions and life changes can be difficult. Not only can these changes impact the work we do, where we live, and who we spend time with, they also impact the way we see ourselves and how others define us.

When we are going through major changes, a primitive part of the brain starts to kick into overdrive to keep us safe. This part of our subconscious mind wants to protect us in the belief that the more predictable our life is, the safer it is. This is so true that our subconscious mind will even choose a path or experience that is painful if it is an experience that is also predictable.

That means that when we are going through major life changes, we may be dealing with an additional layer of emotional unrest that’s overly alert to possible danger.

In this week’s podcast we tap for being emotionally calm in the face of a major life transition.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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2020 has been a year filled with a lot of disappointment. There are so many plans that we have needed to be changed or canceled because of circumstances way beyond our control.

There are two important reasons that it is useful to tap for disappointment. First, it doesn't feel good to be disappointed. Second, if we spend too much time feeling disappointed we are training ourselves to believe that hope is a bad idea. It goes like this… We feel hopeful, our hopes are dashed, we feel disappointed, and then because we don't want to feel this again, we stop hoping.

Here is a simple tap-along audio and tapping script to help with disappointment.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Tapping for limiting beliefs can be tricky because there isn't always an emotion that goes along with them.

Beliefs like "I am never going to succeed", "I won't ever be able to lose weight", and "Everyone will judge me if I share my work" can feel like facts and finding an entry point to tap for is difficult.

This week's podcast covers the three ways that I approach tapping on limiting beliefs. There are also some bonus instructions on how to figure out if the limiting belief you are tapping for is actually the underlying issue or if it is something else.

The process is simple enough that after hearing it just once you will be able to incorporate it into your own tapping.

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When working with my clients, I have found that people who are interested in personal development also usually take the choices they make seriously.

They want to make sure the choices they are making line up with the vision that they have for the person they would like to be. As a general rule this is a good and useful approach to making choices.

The problem comes when they feel like they have to justify every choice they make AND if they don't have a clear justification for the choice, then it feels as if they are choosing poorly.

Sometimes we want to make a choice just because we want to make that choice. Not because it lines up with some higher purpose. Today we are going to tap to give ourselves permission just to make a particular choice because we want to and being OK with not having to justify that choice.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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When life is going well, we do not tend to notice all of the many aspects of our lives that we do not control.

But when life isn't going as planned, it is all to easy to feel overwhelmed and chaotic.

At this particular moment in history lots of us are feeling overwhelmed by the uncertainty we are all feeling. This week I have a simple tap-along for those times when you feel uncertain.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Because of everything going on in the world at the moment, my theory is that we are all paying a 20% energy tax from the moment we get up. It's as if we are losing 20% of our energy before we have even started the day because of the underlying feelings of worry and overwhelm.

Some days these feelings are at the front of our minds and hearts, other days they're constantly playing in the background.

At some point these long term energy and emotional leaks add up and we just hit an emotional or energetic wall. Life feels too much for us to manage and we just break down.

This week I have a tap-along audio and tapping script to help when you feel like you have slammed into a brick wall.

Reminder: I have compiled a list of over 50 free tapping resources to help to manage all of the emotions stirred up by the pandemic.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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There are times when things go wrong and then there are times when things REALLY go wrong. The week of recording this podcast my website was down for a number of days and I was unable to access my email.

I experienced a range of strong emotions around the situation including feeling frustrated, maddened and overwhelmed.

This week's podcast contains the tapping you can do when life is going very wrong. As well as tapping for the big picture "things are going very wrong" issue, I have also included tapping for how to calm down in the moment and how to tap where your emotions get the better of you and you do things you regret. (You will hear exactly why I needed to do that type of tapping in the audio.)

This is a tap-along that I recommend you bookmark and save so that when something similar comes up for you, you will be ready.

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Many of us have a love/hate relationship with social media. One one hand I genuinely love how easy social media makes it to stay connected to my friends and family from all over the world. It's great to be able to see what they are up to. I love seeing their kids grow up and I love being able to share a joke across the country and across the world.

At the same time, looking at the seemingly perfect pictures others post on social media about all the good times they are having can be perilous.

This is especially true for the current situation we are in the middle of right now. As we struggle with our day-to-day we are confronted by pictures of all the incredibly creative things people are doing with their free time and how they seem to be handling this mess so much better than we are.

It's vital to remember that social media tends to show us a carefully curated version of people's lives. It is the good things. It is the happy things. It is the pretty things.

When we only see the best of other people's lives it's easy to feel like we are failing and that comparison can feel toxic.

This week I have a simple tap-along audio and tapping script for those times when you are struggling with comparanoia.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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The more time I spend studying the human body, the more its complexity amazes me. We are a combination of biological functions, thoughts, beliefs, memories, and an entire pharmacy of biochemistry that is released and absorbed by our bodies based on a whole host of factors.

Even though our system is so complex, it does work in predictable ways and this is true for the way we experience and remember trauma. Understanding how these processes work makes it easier to use tapping to create healing and transformation.

In this week's podcast Jen Cincurak and I explore how the brain, organs, and nervous system are involved in trauma. We also talk about how this understanding can make it easier to achieve more powerful results with tapping.

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Guest: Jen Cincurak

Contact: email @ Jen@yourconsciousentrepreneur.com; FB group [money mindset(http://themoneymindsetsummit.com); FB group conscious EFT; podcast @ Intro to Conscious EFT

About: Jen Cincurak is equal parts Naturopathic Doctor, EFT enthusiast and mindset anatomy geek. She loves talking about success blocks and money blocks and has even hosted two charity-driven money mindset summits. She’s put out over 220 podcasts on how to use EFT and other mindset tools to bolster success and has recently been collaborating with other leaders in the field to increase awareness around the anatomy and safety of doing personal work like EFT.

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The most common reason that most people don't tap on their own is because they don't know what words to say. Nearly everyone is taught to tap using words, so this preoccupation is understandable.

In this podcast Gwyneth Moss and I have a conversation that has completely changed the way that I teach tapping and how I encourage most people to tap on their own.

The best part about it is that it doesn't require you to come up with any words or phrases, which makes it easier to tap.

Much of what Gwyneth Moss talks about in this interview is based on Gunilla Hamne and Ulf Sandström's Trauma Tapping Technique (TTT). You can find out more about TTT by visiting their website peacefulheart.se.

Download the Traffic Light Tapping Handout that Gwyneth talks about during the interview.

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Guest: Gwyneth Moss

Contact: web @ EFThelps.com; email @ contact form; web @ Annual EFT Gathering

About: Gwyneth Moss is one of the original EFT Masters and the founder of the EFT Gathering annual community conference which has run since 2009. With a degree in Physics and an MBA she is known for the clarity and depth of her teaching style and for her innovative techniques which include EFT Imagineering; Protective Distancing; Projection Tapping; The Surrogate EFT Protocol and more. Gwyneth teaches EFT in the glorious countryside of Yorkshire and at Esalen, Big Sur, CA.

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You have been there before. You're trying to make a positive change in your life, such as giving up sweets.

The first day is hard. The second is harder. The third day, for some unknown reason, is really easy. You feel awesome. You are making progress. Real change is happening!

But then along comes day four…

You come home from work and find yourself eating one little piece of candy. You think, “This is no big deal. It is only one piece.”

Before you know it, one piece turns into two, then four, and then the bag is empty and you think, “Screw it! It’s too late and I've totally messed up!” and you devour every sweet in the house plus some potato chips for good measure.

Within moments you’re filled with shame and self-loathing. You wake up the next morning feeling defeated.

What you have just experienced is an “extinction burst”. I think David McRaney described extinction burst perfectly when he writes: “a predictable and common blast of defiance from the recesses of a brain denied familiar rewards.”

In this week's podcast I share with you:

why extinction bursts happen
how they can undermine our progress and our willingness to tap
how to get past an extinction burst to create healthier habits

This is a concept that is key to understand to be able to heal and move forward.

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When we are tapping for a specific issue it can often feel as if there is a small bit of it remaining that we can't quite put our finger on. It seems like a shadow of the issue hanging around in the background, rather than the issue itself.

When this happens it is hard to know which phrases to tap on to resolve the last little bit of the issue. In this week's podcast I share the process I use when the SUDs level is at a 2 or less. You can learn it in just 30 seconds and will find it easy to repeat whenever you need it.

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Chronic issues can be some of the most difficult to address with tapping and EFT because usually there is no obvious root cause. The physical ailments can begin months or even years after the trauma occurred and since it's hard to know when the issue began, we don't have a clear target for our tapping.

In this conversation Dr. Peta Stapleton shares why trauma can create chronic issues and how to tap effectively for these issues using their physical symptoms. Her perspective is informed by the early results of the tapping for chronic illness study that she is currently leading.

Peta has been a guest many times on the podcast and you can find all of our past conversations in the podcast archive.

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Guest: Dr. Peta Stapleton

Contact: web @ PetaStapleton.com; twitter @PetaStapleton; instagram @petastapleton

About: Dr. Peta Stapleton has 22 years of experience as a registered Clinical and Health Psychologist in the State of Queensland, Australia and has completed a Bachelor of Arts, Postgraduate Diploma of Professional Psychology and Doctor of Philosophy. Peta held academic positions at Griffith University for 14 years, teaching and coordinating psychological research trials into new therapies in the area of obesity and weight management and is now Associate Professor in Psychology at Bond University
Peta regularly contributes to the academic field with publications in the areas of nursing, morale, communication, psychological interventions and eating disorders. She regularly reviews for academic journals and offers supervision for new and existing Psychologists as well as students.

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Recently I have changed my mind about making bad choices. Instead of feeling frustrated with myself, I have decided to embrace occasionally making bad choices as long as I make them in a conscious way.

Strangely this decision has been helping me to make better, healthier choices!

In this week's podcast I explore why I am allowing myself to make poor or unhealthy choices, why it ultimately helps me to make better choices, and I have also included a tap-along to support these choices.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Tapping and EFT are powerful tools that can be used for so many different issues it can be difficult to know exactly where to start. The part of us that wants to get our tapping "exactly right" means that sometimes we don't tap because we want to avoid tapping on the "wrong thing".

Over the last few months I have changed the way that I tap to start my day. My process takes less than 10 minutes, but by doing it every morning I ensure that I get my day off on the right foot. Using the process helps to clear my head, gives me a little boost of energy, and makes starting my day a bit easier.

In this week's podcast I teach you the simple process I have been using. All you need is a timer (like your mobile phone or watch), a pen, and a piece of paper.

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When we are describing ourselves (or when others are describing us) we identify with a whole host of different characteristics. You might be known as a hard worker, a caring person, a great wit, or a loyal friend.

Some of these characteristics are aspirational, some are from the ways others describe us, and others may have been picked up from our families and cultures of origin.

These characteristics aren't bad in themselves because they help us to understand ourselves and often give us something to strive for. But they can become problematic when we use them as the sole measuring stick to judge ourselves, and when we beat ourselves up emotionally for not meeting these frequently unrealistic standards.

This week's podcast explores how and why we pick up these identities, how they can be harmful, and also how to tap to release identities that do not serve us.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Note: This podcast is a part of the Healing Fundamentals series. The topics covered in this series move beyond the basics of tapping to understanding the healing process. By understanding these fundamentals you will be able to get more out of your tapping faster. Make sure you check out the whole series.

I like to check in with my email newsletter readers to find out what struggles they are facing with tapping so that I can create the most useful resources possible.

The majority of the responses I've received describe a similar problem, described in one of two ways. They are "I never remember to tap" and "I forget to tap in the moment of distress".

There are two reasons why this happens. First, building a habit takes time and just because we want to do something regularly doesn't mean we automatically start to do it. In Podcast 201 I teach you easy ways to make tapping a habit.

The second reason we don't tap is because there is a subconscious part of us that resists healing. It isn't that we want to suffer, but on some level we believe that the safest option is to stay stuck exactly where we are.

It doesn't have to be this way. This week's podcast covers why we don't tap, even when we know it will be helpful, and how to start tapping more regularly.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Personally, I think one of the most important discoveries in the study of trauma is the recognition that trauma has the ability to be passed from generation to generation through our genetic code.

In the most basic terms it means that if one of our parents has a fear of water because of a traumatic instance in their life it is very likely we will have the same fear because it is in our DNA.

The good news is, just because it is in our DNA doesn't mean we are stuck with it forever. It just requires a different approach for the transformation because we don't have a memory to tap on.

In my first interview with Mark we talked about how trauma can be passed down through our epigenetics. This time we talk about how to identify if something is a generational trauma or an attachment trauma (something that has happened to us) through recognizing what he calls "trauma language". The language we use to describe our trauma will help us to tell which type it is.

Take the time to dive into this one. I would recommend listening to it twice.

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Guest: Mark Wolynn

Contact: web @ MarkWolynn.com; facebook @ Mark Wolynn

About: Mark Wolynn, director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. A sought-after lecturer, he has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center, and The California Institute of Integral Studies. Mark specializes in working with depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, fears, panic disorders, self-injury, chronic pain and persistent symptoms and conditions. His book IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (Viking/Penguin) is the winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in psychology. His articles have appeared in Psychology Today, Mind Body Green, MariaShriver.com, Elephant Journal, and Psych Central.

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

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Especially for beginners, and sometimes for more skilled tappers, knowing what to say and where to start is often the part of tapping that trips people up.

Just because we recognize the fact that the words themselves aren't magic and that there is no such thing as the perfect tapping phase, does not mean it's easy to start when we are experiencing a lot of mixed emotions all at once.

In this conversation Nancy Forester and I talk about a number of approaches and tools that you can use to start your tapping. These will ease you into tapping when you don't know where to begin and also help you to get more out of your tapping sessions each time you sit down.

If you enjoy this conversation, you should check out Nancy's Conscious EFT 101 which is a free five-part series introducing you to her trauma informed approach to safe and effective EFT.

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Guest: Nancy Forrester

Contact: web @ neftti.com

About: Nancy Forrester is a retired clinical psychotherapist, coach, international speaker, corporate consultant and Canada’s only Accredited Master Trainer and Trainer of Trainers in Emotional Freedom Techniques (often referred to as EFT or Tapping).

Since discovering the enormous power of Energy Psychology in the late 90’s, Nancy has been a passionate student, teacher and advocate of this advanced approach to transformation. Nancy blends a variety of research-based tools and modalities to maximize impact and is internationally recognized as a leading expert in integrating the most cutting-edge mind-body-spirit strategies for health and personal development into therapy and coaching work.

Nancy founded the National EFT Training Institute in 2012 out of a desire to bring EFT to a broad audience of professionals. NeftTI offers professional-level training, mentoring and certification to active psychotherapists, medical professionals, social workers, personal and business coaches, holistic practitioners as well as to people looking to transition to being transformational coaches. NeftTi’s trainings are renowned for their high standards, trauma-informed approach, high level of warmth and personal engagement as well as post-training involvement in a closely held community of like-minded practitioners.

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Receive 50% off Mastering the Art of Delivery by using the coupon code "podcast" http://TappingArtOfDelivery.com

The two most common questions asked by those new to tapping are "Does tapping work?" and "How do we know tapping works?" As someone who loves tapping, it's great that I can share my personal first hand experience of tapping, but for some people it just isn't enough.

In this conversation David Feinstein and I talk about six criteria to determine whether or not tapping works. Then we move on to what the scientific research has shown as to why tapping works.

I believe this information is useful for a couple of reasons. First, when we know how something works, it makes it easier for us to get the most out of the tool. Second, when we know how and why it works, it makes it much easier to explain to others.

I think this is an essential conversation for anyone who taps and would like to share tapping with others.

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Guest: David Feinstein, PhD

Contact: web @ Eden Energy Medicine

About: David Feinstein is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.

David received the 2002 “Outstanding Contribution” Award from the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (and again in 2012), the U.S. Book News Award for the Best Psychology/Mental Health Book of 2007, the 2015 “Outstanding Leadership” Award from the Canadian Association for Integrative and Energy Therapies, and the Infinity Foundation’s 2013 “Spirit Award” (with Donna) for their contribution to “the evolution of consciousness” and its “impact on society.” A licensed psychologist (Oregon), he has contributed more than 100 articles to the professional literature.

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One of my favorite parts of the tapping community is people's willingness to share their experience and expertise. A few months ago I sent an email to a number of practitioners I admire and asked them if they would be willing to share their wisdom about the following:

What lessons have clients taught you about healing?
What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process?
If you were to start your own healing journey over again, what would you do differently?
What is one thing you wish your clients believed about themselves?
What is one thing you wish your clients believed about the healing process?

I received some wonderful responses from Kim D'Eramo, Alan Davidson, Jondi Whitis, Robin Bilazarian, Kris Ferraro, Gwyneth Moss, Deborah D Miller, Jake Khym, Tania A Prince, Ange Finn, Nancy Forester, Peta Stapleton, Julie Schiffman, Steve Wells, and Mary Ayers. You can read all their answers (and soak up their wisdom) right here.

Reading through all of these amazing answers gave me the opportunity to reflect on those questions myself. In this week's podcast I share my own answers to the five questions.

These lessons are just a taste of what I will be teaching in my Mastering the Art of Delivery training. If you join us, you will get more out of your tapping while working with clients and while tapping on your own. Use the coupon code "podcast" for 50% off the registration.

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When we take an action we usually have an expectation about how it will work out. When I order lunch, my expectation is that the food will be tasty. When I launch a new product in my business, I expect to reach certain sales goals.

In addition to the outcome, we also have expectations of how we should feel when we are doing something. On one level it's not enough just to give a good presentation at work, because a part of us wants to feel completely in control and confident while giving that presentation.

This situation gives rise to a great deal of negative self-talk. We beat ourselves up in the moment for not doing well enough AND we beat ourselves up after the fact for not meeting our expectations. As well as feeling bad in the moment this means that we are also less likely to take action in the future.

Here is a simple way to quiet negative self-talk.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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As someone who knows a lot about tapping, it's natural to want to share that knowledge with others, but sometimes we don't have the opportunity. This is especially true when dealing with a crisis in the moment, when we are working with children, or both.

In this podcast Jondi Whitis and I talk about how to approach either of these situations and she shares strategies to avoid over-explaining or attempting to do too much, plus a simple formula for how we can be most helpful in the moment.

The conversation is based on the book [Emotional First-Aid For Children}(https://amzn.to/3eaFesl) that Jondi co-wrote with Deborah Miller. If you spend time with children, this book is a must-have!

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Guest: Jondi Whitis

Contact: Web @ JondiWhitis.com; email @ Jondi@eft4Results.com; YouTube @ Jondi Whitis

About:Jondi Whitis is an Accredited, Certified EFT Master Trainer, Practitioner, Mentor and Training Board member of EFT International. She delights in teaching others how to become EFT practitioners of excellence, and has a passion for producing modern, creative resources for practitioners and trainers worldwide.

She is known for her deeply personal, hands-on training and mentoring, and is especially interested in using those skills to serve children, veterans, Native Americans, and healthcare professionals interested in modern, holistic approaches to wellness. She describes herself as an ‘integration specialist’, enthusiastically guiding clients and professionals to find authentic ways of integrating EFT into their lives.
Her outreach efforts include the first TapFest, now called the Spring Energy Event gathering, which she hosts each year with a team of friends, and activities for the Humanitarian Committee of ACEP, an ambassador for the EFT Guild, and has authored 3 resource books on AMAZON, How to Be a Great Detective, Creating Great Introductory Groups, and Compassion in Action: Emotional First-Aid for Children. A fourth resource book, on facing serious health challenges, is in the works.

Emotional First-Aid for Children: Compassion in Action: How to Quickly Help in Times of Trouble

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One of the human experiences that cuts us the deepest is being ignored or dismissed as unimportant by whose attention we most want. The pain can come from being ignored by our friends, our family, or any one important in our life.

On one level, it taps into the primitive fear of being excluded from the safety of our tribe. And on another level, it pushes against our desire to be seen as worthy by others.

This week's podcast explores:

Why this experience is so painful
What story we tell ourselves on an emotional level when we perceive that we are being ignored or dismissed
How to tap to manage this experience

As you will hear, there are often multiple aspects to this issue, which makes tapping for it tricky.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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The murder of George Floyd and the ongoing protests at centuries of racial injustice have galvinized many to speak truth more forcefully in their daily lives. One of those people is my friend J Nycole Ralph.

As J Nycole was processing her own emotions, she realized that she was being more impacted by the death of another black American AND she wasn't standing up in as powerful a way she wanted to.

To that end, she created a process called The CREATE Method. It stands for

C – Claim that you feel something
R – Recognize the feeling
E – Embrace the feeling
A – Address the feeling
T – Take action
E – Educate and Engage

In today's podcast, J Nycole walks me through these six steps. As someone who has helped people process their emotions for over a decade, I learned a number of new ideas in this conversation. It is well worth your time.

Listen to this. Take notes. Implement the ideas as you are working on and tapping for your issues and struggles. This is timely for this moment, but it is a tool you can use always.

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Guest: J Nycole Ralph

Contact: email @ JNycoleRalph@gmail.com; Instagram @jnycoleralph; Instagram @wokseries; Schedule a free CREATE Strategy Session with J Nycole

About: J Nycole Ralph teaches the C.R.E.A.T.E. process and helps entrepreneurs, artists, and personal development junkies to implement it into their lives so that they can make an impact on the world and get paid well to do it! She does this via life coaching through the world-renowned company, Inner Access, as well as via independent life coaching for actors & performers. J Nycole has been living her dream of performing on Broadway and touring around the world for the past several years, telling the heartwarmingly impactful yet hilarious story, The Book of Mormon (written by Matt Stone & Trey Parker, writers of South Park). She has also created her own comedic series called Working Out the Kinks that not only makes you laugh but also uses hair as a vehicle to explore and educate on the differences between black and white culture. Additionally, J Nycole is an executive producer on the upcoming feature film, Lola, the first African-American female boxing movie, starring Taja V. Simpson of The Bold and the Beautiful and Tyler Perry’s Boo 2. J Nycole's mission is to carry out the legacy of entertaining while empowering and educating, a legacy left to her by her mother and grandparents to whom she gives thanks and honor for, without them, she would not be the woman she is today.

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The phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is often taught to us as children. As adults, we know this isn't true. It would be great if what other people said about us didn't have the power to hurt us, but we are doing ourselves a disservice by pretending it doesn't.

Here is a simple 3-step process to tease out the reason why certain words hurt more than others and help you to identify the source of the hurt. Is it the words themselves, who is saying them, or who is hearing the words when they are spoken?

All three of those possibilities can add to the feeling of hurt. When you are able to recognize the different components causing the hurt, it will be much easier to tap to gain relief.

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Before doing this I didn't understand the difference between compassion fatigue and burnout. I thought compassion fatigue was just a specific type of burnout experienced by helpers and healers.

In reality, compassion fatigue is not only different, but can be much more serious than burnout.

To understand compassion fatigue more I interviewed licensed mental health professional Robin Bilazarian. Robin has experience of working with countless clients who are in danger of being traumatized by working with people who are in trouble.

In this podcast Robin and I talk about:

The difference between compassion fatigue and burnout
The signs of compassion fatigue
Why at this moment in history we are more susceptible to it
How to prevent and how to heal compassion fatigue

At one point in the conversation we discuss how a forgiveness practice can be helpful in combating compassion fatigue. You can find that resource here.

Even if you are not a professional helper, if you are a person who helps others in your personal life, I strongly recommend you listen to this episode.

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Guest: Robin Bilazarian LCSW, DCSW, DCEP

Contact: Web @ RobinEFT.net

About: Robin Bilazarian is a licensed mental health professional who has been tapping with her clients for 24 years. In addition to her private practice, she worked 20 hours a week serving the staff of an urban hospital, frequently assisting with compassion fatigue and other issues with the hospital staff, physicians and medical students.

In her hospital work Robin regularly helps people who have NOT come to her because she is a tapping practitioner. In fact, most of her clients at the hospital and in her clinical practice have never heard of tapping before walking into her office. She has also toured the USA teaching other psychotherapists how to bring EFT and tapping into their clinical practice.

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Do you sometimes hold yourself back from making choices because of concern about how they may impact those around you?

It is good to be thoughtful about how your actions affect others, but we can't allow this to dictate our choices. If we put everyone else's needs first, we will never be able to take care of ourselves, and chances are that nobody else will do that for us.

This tapping is a simple guide to help us to be thoughtful about how our choices impact others, but without allowing that thought to control how we make choices and move through our lives.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Wanting to fit in and belong is a basic human desire, not a failure. It's natural to want others to like and accept us and to appreciate the work that we do.

Because of this fundamental desire to belong, part of us is always on the lookout for slights and judgments, which we may imagine even when they're not there. That makes us prone to mistaking someone's evaluation that something we're offering is not a good fit for them for a negative judgment of us or our worth.

This week's podcast examines:

The difference between evaluation and judgment
How we can mistake one for the other
Why we respond so emotionally to judgment
How to tap for a better understanding of evaluation vs. judgment

You can find the full tapping script from the end of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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In May 2014 I was lucky enough to be invited to join the group Empowering The Philippines in teaching EFT Tapping to the residents of Tacloban City and the surrounding areas. Six months earlier the region had been ravaged by Super Typhoon Haiyan (called Yolanda in the Philippines), displacing four million people and leaving one million homes damaged or destroyed.

Our days in the Philippines were split between teaching local people how to use tapping to deal with their experience of the typhoon, and teaching teachers, doctors, and mental health professionals how to use tapping in their work.

After the experience my friend Helen McConnell (bio below) interviewed me about the work we did, my experience, and what we can all learn from this type of work.

I also wrote a daily diary with my personal reflections while in the Philippines, which you can read on on my personal blog.

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About Helen McConnell: Helen McConnell is a Certified EFT Practitioner, trained in clinical and advanced EFT. She specializes in helping people release the limiting beliefs that stand in the way of the success they desire – whether its business, finances, health, weight release, love, or creating their legacy.

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I often hear my clients say "I should have known better" OR "I know better, but for some reason I keep making the same choice" when they are judging their actions. Just knowing what the right choice is doesn't mean we will make it, because information alone is not enough.

Most of the reasons we don't make the right choice or take the right action, even though we know intellectually what we want to do, have to do with our emotional state. In almost every case, emotions will win out over reason.

This week's podcast explores:

Why our emotions win
How dealing with regret for poor choices in the past is key to making better choices in future
How to use EFT Tapping to make better choices more often

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In response to everything that is going on the world my friends Jennifer Carey and Dayna Wood have been doing a video show three times a week called "Connected and Conscious". On the show they ask their friends and colleagues how they are staying healthy, focused, and happy during this time of great upheaval and uncertainty.

In addition to talking about how the guests are taking care of themselves, they also offer a gift in every episode in the shape of a tool that the audience can use right away. As they say when talking about the focus of the show, "We all have something to offer!"

I was lucky enough to be a guest on the show on May 13th. Dayna and Jennifer have graciously allowed me to share the audio here.

You can check out the full video series on Integrative Counsel.

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Dayna Wood: Dayna is known for her approachable, honest, and non-judgmental style. She applies creativity, mindfulness, and neuro-leadership principles to counsel and coach busy professionals, business leaders, and corporations to achieve their full potential. She combines out-of-the-box thinking with solid scientific research, so her clients get the best of both worlds. You can contact her and learn more about her work at IntegrativeCounsel.com.

Jennifer H. Carey EdS, LMHC: Jennifer’s experience in psychotherapy, mindfulness, and interpersonal communication are highly-valued skills that she applies to working with individuals, couples and groups. Jennifer holds a Master's and Specialist degrees in Counselor Education from the University of Florida, as well as a Reiki Master Practitioner certification. She has experience in the profit, nonprofit and educational sectors. Her clinical work included running a Dialectical Behavior Therapy group where she learned how to teach and apply mindfulness. Her own passion for personal growth is evident in her work. She loves any opportunity to cook and share a meal with family and friends. You can contact her and learn more about her work at http://jenniferhcarey.com/.

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A significant amount of my time tapping with clients is spent looking into the past. We identify and examine the past experiences and beliefs that have shaped the way that the subconscious influences present action.

Tapping and EFT excel at this task!

Human beings are not usually good at seeing the past clearly. We end up judging our past choices based on current beliefs. You have experienced this if you have ever thought, "I should have known better!"

It is particularly hard because we find it almost impossible to remember what it is like to not know something. Once we have learned a lesson, it feels as if we have always known it.

When we judge ourselves harshly in this way, it slows the healing process.

This week I have a simple tapping process to help you to be gentler with your past self and past choices, which will speed the healing process.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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New York City is a wacky place. One of the things that I have encountered firsthand is how amazingly different the dating scene is here compared with other cities.

First, there are millions of people, many of whom are single, which vastly increases the pool of potential dates. Second, everyone is very busy so dates can be short (and feel a bit rushed) because everyone seems to have less time. Third, because of the first two points, people move on to the next prospective suitor more quickly than I have experienced other places.

Because of this I have met some fascinating and wonderful women, I have consumed lots of really good food and drink on these dates, and I have been on more first dates in my short time in NYC than most people go on in their entire life.

In this process I've learned two major lessons that have impacted my entire life:

Say yes more.
Making sure your yes means yes and your no means no.

Embracing these two lessons in all parts of life, not just dating, has made my life richer and my relationships stronger.

In this episode I have included a tap-along audio for each lesson.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Note: This podcast is a part of the Fundamental Disposition series. The topics covered in this series move beyond the basics of tapping to understanding the healing process. By understanding these fundamentals you will be able to get more out of your tapping faster. Make sure you check out the whole series.

Last week a client asked me, "Why do you make me tap on that phrase all the time? Is it something you see in me that makes you think we need to tap on it?"

I reassured her that it had nothing to do with her in particular, but something I tapped on with all of my clients. And then, right on cue, two other clients this week asked me about the same tapping phrase!

The phrase is:

"I give myself permission to be easy and gentle with myself."

This is the phrase my clients tend to resist the most AND I believe it is one of the most important topics for us to address with tapping.

This week's podcast explores why it is so hard for us (me included) to tap on the idea of being gentle with ourselves and why it is important for us to do so.

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Just because we have a to-do list filled with useful tasks doesn't mean that we will actually have a productive day. Sometimes we waste our time on tasks that aren't even on our list, or we complete tasks on our list that are not the most valuable ones.

Being busy is not necessarily the same thing as being productive.

Here is a simple tapping tool I use every morning to ensure that I actually do the tasks on my to-do list AND I do the most valuable ones.

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Recently I was working with a client on the grief she was feeling at missing so many experiences she loves during quarantine. As we were debriefing after a round of tapping she said:

"While we were tapping on the grief I noticed all of these other pools of grief that were inside me from the past. As we tapped it was almost as if the wall between those pools of grief broke, the grief combined, and they all released together."

Even though this was the first time I had heard this experience described in this particular way, with pools of emotions connecting, the experience itself is common. When we experience an emotion it reminds us of the other times we have experienced that same emotion. If those past emotions are not fully processed, it can feel like we're being hit by a wave of past emotions all at once.

In the moment, we may feel worse because the emotions are getting stronger, but in reality it is a great opportunity to heal. We can clear not only what we are feeling in the moment, but also unprocessed emotions from the past.

In this week's podcast learn a simple five-step process to clear past emotions that bubble up during a tapping session.

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The world is a very big place and when we think of how we can make an impact on the world and everything going on in it, we can feel awfully small.

In reality, our small gestures and ways of being in the world and how we interact with others can have a significant impact.

Recognizing that our choices do make a difference make those helpful choices easier. This tap-along will help you to be a peacemaker in your world, which will ripple outwards and make a bigger impact.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Most choices aren't black and white, so being of two minds is a common experience. There are pros and cons to both outcomes.

On the finale of this season's Project Runway (US version), one of the contestants, Victoria Cocieru, was struggling with which direction to take with her designs. She said, "In my brain I have a thousand little brains and they are fighting with each other."

I find that a very evocative way of thinking about the problem.

This week's podcast explores and taps for struggling with being of two (or more) minds when trying to make decisions.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Most of us spend at least half of our day at work. Because work consumes so much of our time and attention, stress from the working day can easily spill over into the rest of our lives.

This week's podcast provides a tool that will help you to leave work at work.

This tool applies to all types of work, no matter how many hours you work, and whether you travel to a workplace or work from home.

It takes less than three minutes to do and will not only ensure you leave work stress at work, but will also make it easier to return to work the next day.

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Family is complicated. Because they are family we want what is best for them. But at the same time we put up with more from them than we'd put up with from others because they are family. We will allow our family to say and do things that we would not tolerate from anyone else in our lives.

This can cause an internal conflict. How can we be a loving family member whilst at the same time not want to be around the person?

This week's podcast explores and taps for:

family relationships
how to want what is best for them
how to claim the space we need for our safety and well-being

Even if you have a great relationship with your family, there will be some parts of the relationship you find frustrating.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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One of the most difficult parts of the healing process is being able to forgive ourselves.

It's common to believe that if we forgive ourselves, we are letting ourselves off the hook and failing to take responsibility for our past choices.

Self-forgiveness is actually the opposite of this. Being able to move to a place of forgiveness means we are taking responsibility for the past and making sure it stays in the past. When we don't forgive, we're just reliving the past over and over again.

This tap-along audio is a recording of one of my client sessions where we were tapping on the idea of self-forgiveness. I was given permission by my client to use this recording and I have also removed his voice from the audio. This will allow you to tap along as if I were tapping with you.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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These uncertain times mean that our emotional guidance system is on overdrive. It is working nonstop to keep us safe because it's dealing with the unknown.

That means we're expending energy all day long in the background as our emotional system tries to protect us. It's like we are starting off every day paying a 20% emotion tax, meaning that we only have 80% of our usual reserves and resilience.

This podcast explores:

the impact of the 20% emotion tax
how to structure your work and to-do lists accordingly
what are reasonable expectations at this time
how to tap to manage this situation

I also share the tapping I have been doing first thing in the morning to get the most out of each day.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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One of the most common issues I uncover in my client sessions is the feeling of not being worthy to be here.

It's seldom the main issue my clients present when we start working together, but as we work we find instances from their past where they felt dismissed or ignored by the people who were important to them.

This creates a feeling of not believing you are worthy to be here at this moment. Here is a simple tap-along that will help you to recognize that you are worthy and valuable!

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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The most primitive part of our emotional guidance system is our fear response. Fear's primary goal is to keep us from dying. I know that sounds like an overstatement, but this is exactly how it functions.

Of course it's good that part of our internal guidance is on alert and doesn't want us to die, but in the modern word just because we fear something doesn't mean there are fatal consequences.

Because of this, our fear can often get out of proportion. When we are acting out of fear we don't make the best choices. Sometimes we just freeze and don't do anything at all.

At the same time, we don't want to be so casual that we become careless.

When I am in a pressured situation my goal is to move from fear to urgency. When I am feeling a sense of urgency I understand that I need to act decisively. While fear makes us feel stuck, urgency gives us focused energy to take action.

Here is a simple tap-along to help move you from a state of fear to one of urgency.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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While past choices may have contributed to your present, they do not mean that what comes next is predetermined.

It is all too easy to feel trapped by both past choices and your current situation BUT they do not define who we are or who we can choose to be.

In this short tapping audio we place ourselves at a fresh starting point. This audio is lifted directly from a client session, with my client's permission. I have also edited out my client's voice so that you can tap along as if you are working one-on-one with me.

This is the perfect type of audio to use to start your day! Try using it daily for a week or two and see what shifts you notice.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Grief is a much more common emotion than we might think. It is obvious that we feel grief when a loved one dies, or when an important relationship or job ends.

In reality, grief shows up any time we experience a loss. This could be for an opportunity, an ability, or even something as simple as a predictable daily routine.

For the large changes it is easy to recognize grief. For smaller changes it is much harder. We often dismiss the feelings of grief as agitation, tiredness, or just being off kilter.

As our daily lives have changed so radically with the COVID-19 pandemic, it's likely that we are feeling much more grief than we realize.

Last year I interviewed Lynne Staley, an expert on grief, on how to identify grief and I think that now would be a great time to revisit that podcast.

Use this week's simple tap-along audio and script to help you deal with the grief you are feeling right for your loss of normalcy.

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When I was younger I had a hard time accepting the idea that God could love me unconditionally. I believed that I had to earn God's unconditional love.

Meaning that I wasn't understanding that unconditional means unconditional, aka it doesn't have to be earned!

Here's an audio from a client session where we tapped for accepting unconditional love. My client gave me permission to use this recording and I have removed his voice so you can tap along as if you were tapping one-on-one with me.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Sometimes we find inspiration in the strangest places. A few weeks ago I attended the On Air Fest, an event for podcast creators and podcast fans.

One of my favorite presentations was given by Shima Oliaee who was one of the producers for Dolly Parton's America.

During the presentation Shima shared a number of lessons she learned from interviewing Dolly and working on the project. Dolly is clearly a woman who feels deeply. When talking about how she deals with positive and negative emotions she said, "When I feel an emotion I am fully committed to it."

This week's podcast explores what being "fully committed" to our emotions means and how we can use this idea to get more out of our tapping.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Our initial emotional response to a major crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic is with feelings of shock, worry, and overwhelm.

At a certain point, the initial shock wears off and we move on to what I call second wave emotions that arise as we contemplate what is next and the future.

Here are 7 tap-along audios for second wave emotions. They are:

Going stir-crazy (4:42)
Not having any personal space (7:44)
Feeling isolated and alone (10:40)
Mourning the loss of many activities we love (14:52)
Not feeling motivated to do anything (18:24)
Frustrated with all the extra steps we have added to our daily routine (23:06)
Tired of everyone only wanting to talk about COVID-19 (26:33)

If you'd like to jump to the tapping for one particular issue listed, you can go directly to that section by using the timestamp above. For example, if you wanted to tap for the second issue, not having any personal space, you would find it at 7 minutes and 44 seconds in the player below.

Make sure you check out the full list of tapping resources from around the web, which is being updated all the time. Currently I am adding many resources for second wave emotions.

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After sharing 40 minutes of tapping on Friday I asked my listeners and readers what other topics would be useful for me to cover.

In today's new audio we tap for the following topics:

Fear of the unknown (4:13)
Fear about how long this will last (7:24)
Fear for our most vulnerable loved ones (10:24)
Feeling like life is out of control (13:17)
Sorrow over the loss of normalcy (17:04)
The physical and emotional fatigue from the constant worry (21:35)
Worry about not having enough supplies (25:43)
Negative thoughts that are distracting us from our work and our creativity (29:37)

If you'd like to jump to the tapping for one particular issue listed, you can go directly to that section by using the timestamp above. For example, if you wanted to tap for the second issue, fear about how long this will last, you would find it at 7 minutes and 24 seconds in the player below.

Make sure you check out the full list of tapping resources from around the web.

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You might not know that I am the lead coach in a program called the Transformational BizClub (BizClub for short) which is a program run by my friend Pamela Bruner. The BizClub is setup to help business owners grow their business through strategic help and mindset work (lots of tapping).

Friday morning in our Facebook group there were a number of members who were, rightly, sharing their concerns about what is going on in the world and with their businesses. I asked Pamela if it was okay if we did a bonus group call Friday afternoon to do some tapping.

That is exactly what we did. AND I asked Pamela if it was alright if I shared the audio with you.

She immediately said "Yes!"

We tapped on:

Worry about our personal health
Worry about our loved ones health
Being overwhelmed by the news
Thinking about doing work is being insensitive to others
Thinking that our work and day to day is unimportant in troubled times
Not knowing what to do because our plans have had to change
Trying to be thoughtful without making everything into a catastrophe
Having to deal with the overwhelming fear of others

It is close to 40 minutes of tapping.

The audio is from a Zoom recording so it doesn't sound like the normal podcast, but it is still a great tool for you to tap along to.

For more information about the BizClub visit http://coachwithpamela.com

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At the time of the recording of this podcast the COVID-19 virus is starting to impact daily life around the world. The number of cases is spreading. Sporting events are being canceled. People are being encouraged not to travel.

Because of the constant stream of news and information on our social media feeds, it is easy to feel panicked.

This panic is rooted in two factors. The first is the fear about getting sick. The second is the fear caused by knowing we can't do anything about the big picture problem. It's as if it is something that is slowly creeping towards us and we are powerless to stop it.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along audio and script to help you to feel calm in the face of a global problem that we don't feel like we can do anything about.

[Note: Here is a tap-along audio and script to help you to stay healthy. If you are feeling sick, make sure you reach out to your primary care provider. Tapping is a great tool to augment and support your health, but should not be the only tool you use.]

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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The most common question I hear about tapping is "Will tapping work for [insert issue]?" The second most common question is "What are the right tapping phrases to use for [insert issue]?"

I understand why that question is so often asked. In most tapping trainings you are taught that your tapping phrases need to be as specific as possible to get the most out of tapping.

This concern is compounded when you hear an experienced tapper effortlessly come up with what seem to be the perfect phrases.

In reality, there is no such thing as the "exactly right words" to tap along to. The words themself aren't magic.

In this short audio I explain how best to approach the words and phrases that you can tap to AND the most effective way to come up with the perfect phrases for you.

The good news is that it's much easier than you would think.

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Pride is on the list of the seven deadly sins and whether explicitly and implicitly, our culture discourages us from displaying pride or egotism. Instead, we are taught to do our work and keep our heads down.

It is true that some people have outsized egos that cause them (and others) problems, but just because there are egomaniacs in the world doesn't mean that we shouldn't feel pride.

Feeling a sense of pride in our work and our capabilities is healthy. It helps us to stay motivated and continue to do good work and it allows others to see what we can do, what is possible and how we can help them.

Tap along with this week's podcast to cultivate a healthy sense of pride in who you are, what you can do, and what you have accomplished.

[Note: Here is the youtube video for K-OS's song Crabbuckit which is referenced in the podcast]

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Multiple studies have shown that stating clear goals makes it more likely that we will be successful. They help us to stay on track and maintain our focus.

But simply having goals is not enough. At one extreme it is easy to become disconnected from our goals because they are too abstract. At the other, we can find ourselves in a situation where we are so focused on our exact goals that we miss other opportunities.

This week's podcast explores the one simple idea that you can add to any named goals that will increase your likelihood of success AND in many cases in a much easier way than planned.

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One of the keys to effective tapping is having an emotion to tap for, but sometimes we aren't able to feel anything deeply.

We may feel numb or ambivalent and even though these two experiences are not the same, they have much in common.

This week's podcast will give you strategies for tapping when you find yourself in a state where you feel disconnected from your emotions. It includes two separate tap-alongs for each of these sensations.

You can find both tapping scripts as downloadable pdfs over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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One of the most difficult ideas that my clients wrestle with is that of forgiveness and I have found that they often lack a clear understanding of what forgiveness is and what it is not.

When we forgive someone else it can feel like we are saying it is okay, that they don't have to take responsibility for their actions, or that they are allowed to hurt us again.

This is NOT what forgiveness is!

Instead forgiveness is the process of choosing no longer to be stuck in the past emotionally.

In this episode I define what I understand forgiveness is and what it is not. This will help you to embrace forgiveness in a healthier way.

I also demonstrate how I tap for this idea of forgiveness to make it even easier to integrate.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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The tool that I use the most often from my hypnosis training while doing tapping and EFT is metaphor.

The subconscious mind often works in imagery as a way of presenting struggle, trauma, and limiting beliefs. Since this is the language of the subconscious mind, it makes sense that when we are doing work on this level that we would use metaphor as well.

In this episode I share with you:

How I understand metaphor
How our subconscious mind uses it
How we can use metaphor to create faster transformation
How to integrate it into tapping

I have also included some of my favorite metaphors to use when doing inner child work.

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The majority of the issues that I work on with my clients have something to do with the people in their lives.

Sometimes the issue concerns someone we interact with now, and at other times it is about the limiting beliefs people have given us in the past.

The struggle with issues that have to do with someone else is that we can't change another person and we can't take responsibility for their transformation. And even if someone else wanted us to take on their transformation and we were willing to do so, it can't be done.

To that end I have created a tool called Talk About, Talk To, Talk As If. It is a framework for tapping that allows us to look at a relationship from three different vantage points, giving us the ability to tap on any issue from each of these points of view.

Two important notes: First, I think this tool is so powerful and useful that it's the very first tool I teach people after I have taught them the basics of tapping. Second, this is also the tool I teach people when they ask about surrogate tapping. It is not surrogate tapping, but understanding this tool will help you to understand my approach to surrogate tapping.

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When I am asking my clients why they have made certain past choices, they often say something like, "I don't know. I just had this gut feeling." OR "I just had this sense of intuition that it was the right thing to do."

I know exactly what this sensation feels like because I experience it all the time when I am working with clients and also when I am making decisions about my life.

But I don't believe in intuition – well, at least not in the way most people understand it.

When we define our intuition as something mysterious or magical that's somehow beyond our understanding, I believe we undermine what is really happening and prevent ourselves from getting the most out of these feelings.

This week I share with you:

What I believe intuition actually is
How to get the most out of it
How to cultivate it so that is even more powerful

I realize that I am flying in the face of convention on this one and I'd love to hear your thoughts on my interpretation of intuition in the comments below.

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[Note: This is part 10 of a 10-part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]

Tapping can be used to help manage the functions and systems of our bodies where our systems can often be over- or under-functioning.

Here is a great little tool I use to help tune into the body to gain a sense of how it is working and how we can tap to improve its function. It is called a scoreboard.

In this audio I demonstrate the tool using the example of metabolic function, but the same technique can be used for any of the body’s functions or systems.

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I have always found the law of attraction's teaching of "visualizing a positive outcome and somehow the universe will just magically make it happen" a little suspect.

My doubt was a prompt for me to do some research and when looking into visualizing an outcome without action, this is what I found:

During the course of four experiments, Kappes and Oettingen demonstrated that conjuring positive fantasies of success drains the energy out of ambition. When we imagine having reached what we want, our brains fall for the trick. Instead of mustering more energy to get “there”, we inadvertently trigger a relaxation response that mimics how we would feel if we’d actually reached the goal. Physiologically, we slide into our comfy shoes; blood pressure lowers, heart rate decreases, all is well in the success world of our mind’s making.

The research also uncovers that the more pressing the need to succeed, the more deflating positive visualization becomes. via Forbes.com

This is not to say that visualization doesn't have its place. It can be a useful tool that can become even more powerful when combined with tapping.

This week I share four ways in which you can use visualization to supercharge your tapping (and vice versa).

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One of the great things about tapping is that we can jump right into doing work any time and anywhere. Even though we can start a tapping session without any preparation, I have found that if we give some thought to how we begin a session, then we will get more out of it.

Here are five easy things to do at the beginning of a tapping session to make sure that you are grounded in your body and in the moment AND that you are fully present to the work you are going to do.

You don't have to do all five, so you can mix and match to the ones that make the most sense to you.

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When we sit down to tap we are doing it because we want to feel better. It is easy to fall into the trap of feeling like the only way our tapping will be successful is if we feel absolutely wonderful when we have finished.

In truth, that isn't always possible but there are many times when we can gain relief without achieving total relief.

If we set the standard for tapping that it is only successful if we gain total relief and we only have partial relief, then we will be disappointed with our tapping even though we feel better.

In this podcast I talk about a simple four-step process that you can use to get the most out of your tapping and feel satisfied with your results. Using a process like this means you will get more out of an individual tapping sessions, have a better sense of your transformation, and feel encouraged to tap again in the future.

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There is an interesting phenomenon that crops up as we become more experienced tappers and more experienced with healing and change work. We start to recognize what is possible with healing!

There are two sides to this. On one hand we can become excited about having such useful tools, while on the other hand it can feel daunting to recognize how much we actually have to do.

Feeling daunted can prevent us from wanting to tap because it feels like we have too much to do and it's too big a task even to begin.

The good news is we don't have to do all the work at once AND even only doing a small amount of work on a big issue can make a useful difference in how we feel.

This week I share a simple tap-along to help you to start the healing process when it feels too big.

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If you have ever worked with me one-on-one or listened to an audio of me working with a client, then you know I spend a lot of time asking different parts of your body for feedback.

I regularly have my clients ask questions of the physical sensations they are feeling. That is not a metaphor for something else. I really have them ask questions of the physical sensations they are experiencing (like tightness in the chest that comes up with worry) as if the sensations can talk back.

Moving the focus to bodily sensations helps clients to get out of their conscious minds. The conscious mind can be inaccurate when it is trying to understand why we are the way we are. It can make an educated guess, but sometimes that is inaccurate.

Pretending that a physical sensation can talk back to us gives the subconscious mind an opportunity to share information it has about the issue we want to address with tapping.

Based on the success of this type of work, I have a tool that you can use at the start of the day to set you up for a successful day.

The tool combines this type of questioning within a framework of thinking of the body as a factory.

I know this sounds odd, but it is a powerful tool that I use regularly. And I know that if you give it a try, you will be thrilled with the outcome.

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When I am working with clients I pay particular attention to the words they use to describe what they are experiencing. That's because more often than not our emotional response is informed by how we describe what is going on, rather than what is actually going on.

To that end I have created a number of resources to help you decode the language you (or your clients) are using.

In this audio, you will hear me working with one of my clients as we discuss the difference between and "fix" and "transform" and how each of those words impacts the healing process.

An audio transcript can be found below the player.

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Sue: Could you repeat that thought again? That was really profound…the difference between fix and transform.

Gene: We so often say "I need to fix something" and for anything that we wish to "fix" we’re implying a sense of brokenness. It becomes a state that we're in that can have a lot of negative charge around it.

The first time the power of words in healing was pointed out to me was by my friend Dan Cleary. Something had come up when we were supposed to do an interview, so I had to reschedule. I sent him a note saying "I’m sorry". He replied saying "Don’t say you're sorry! That's a really profound statement because it's not an apology. It's a statement of the type of thing that I am, "'Oh that poor, sorry Gene.'"

Being able to recognize I apologize for what happened and it won't happen again is really different from saying "I’m sorry". When we look at the work we need to do in terms of fixing something about ourselves, or the environment, or the world, it automatically implies something's broken.

Things aren’t necessarily broken. They may not be functioning optimally and they might not be functioning in a way that's healthy and beneficial in the short and long term, but everything we do is functional even if it is not achieving the function that we desire.

I have found it more useful in my own work to think in terms of transformation. I want to transform this from the way it's functioning now to a healthier way, both in the short and long term, so it makes it easier for me to approach the work I need to do. It helps me to shape my mind so I approach it with a better attitude to ensure that I’m doing better work for myself.

Sue: It also sounds more open-ended. When you fix something it feels like you have a definite aim in mind, whereas transformation has a sense of allowing and expansiveness.

Gene: Absolutely. Anytime we are thinking of fixing or broken, we immediately make problems binary. By binary I mean on or off, it's there or it's not. And many situations are more complex than that, they aren't just on or off.

For example, it's not that I don’t feel pain OR I do feel pain. There are gradations of pain and those gradations of pain impact the way I interact in the world. If I have a pain that's a 9 on a scale of 0-10, and I move the pain down to a 6 but my goal is to get rid of the pain, then I have failed. Even though I feel better, I am still hurt.

Moving from a 9 to a 6 on the SUDs scale doesn't mean I have achieved a complete transformation. That is, my pain is not fixed, BUT that reduction might allow me to leave the house for two hours, which I couldn’t do before because I have restored full mobility. That's a big difference and real success. Yes, I still feel pain but I’m able to do things I couldn’t do before. I am moving away from this sense of one way or another, with no shades of grey. Transformation helps us to understand that there are grades of experience, rather than I have them or I don’t.

For many of the things I want to improve in my life I might not ever reach perfection, and if I’m only satisfied with perfect, then I’ll never feel satisfied.

Sue: Wow, that kind of goes along with your "is there something better to..."

Gene: Absolutely yeah, the other part of it is when we make it binary we limit our possibilities and we could actually have something better than whatever we think "fixed" is.

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Recently I was working with a client who was frustrated with the process of tapping. He felt angry.

The process went like this:

he felt angry
he tapped for the anger
he felt better
some time would pass
he felt angry again

Dealing with the same issue over and over again had him feeling incredibly frustrated.

As we did some work, it emerged that his anger was a symptom of a much deeper issue. The tapping for the anger was helpful in the short term, but since it wasn't the core issue, it kept coming back again and again.

In my client's case, his anger was like a notification light on the dashboard of a car where the problem isn't the red light itself, but the light is pointing out the actual problem. For him, tapping for the anger was no different than turning off the red notification light. It wasn't responding to the problem.

Identifying if what you are tapping on is the core issue or just a symptom can be tricky. Here are eight questions that you can ask while tapping to help you to go past the symptoms and reach the core issue.

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We know that the most effective way to tap is when we are able to be as specific as possible with the issue at hand.

But a common misconception about this idea is that tapping is only useful if we are specific. But that is not what the statement above says. It says "as specific as possible". There are times when we can't be super specific because what we are feeling isn't super specific!

Sometimes our experience is a collection of emotions and feelings that are much more general OR we are processing so much at once we can't be specific about any one issue or aspect.

When that happens I use what I call the Container Process. It's a tool I regularly use with my clients.

It is perfect for:

when you are experiencing lots of emotions at once
when you can't pin down exactly what you want to tap on
letting go of everything at the end of the day

Also, you will be able to master the process after hearing it just two or three times so you won't need the audio if you want to do it on your own.

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Working with clients has allowed me to understand a fundamental of human nature: All the choices we make are functional choices.

In practical terms this means that all of the choices we make are the best choices that we can make in any given moment based on the information we have and our current resource state.

This does not mean that we always make good choices, choices we are proud of, or choices that we would like to make again in the future. Instead it means that we are making choices for a reason.

When we are able to recognize the emotional and intellectual reasons behind our choices, it highlights the areas we can address with tapping so that we can make better choices in the future.

In this podcast I share how you can understand why on a subconscious level we are making "functional" choices AND how we can make better choices in the future.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Recently I was working with a client on using tapping to help him to go after some major goals in his life.

He didn’t need to address a particular issue, but instead he was looking for a good way to set himself up to pursue his goals. After we had done a few minutes of tapping, he felt at peace and was ready to pursue his goals for the day and in the long-term. He then said to me, “You need to share this as a podcast. Others will find it super helpful.”

So here it is! The audio is less than seven minutes long and I hope it also helps you to go after your goals today.

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We all know that New Year's Resolutions don't work. It would be nice to believe that making a statement at midnight on December 31st would be enough to create new ways of thinking and acting.

It doesn't work that way.

With that being said, the new year is a great time to reevaluate the lives we want to be living AND tapping is a great way to support these new goals.

This week I have a simple tap-along audio that will help you to create lasting change, not just a fleeting thought at the beginning of the year which evaporates quickly.

This will not only help you to take new action, but also help you with the emotional ups and downs of trying to live out a new goal.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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It seems like every client I've worked with in the last ten days has asked me about using tapping to help them to sleep better.

Daily stress is a common cause of sleep disruption because our systems can get caught up in trying to solve the problems of the previous day and consumed with the worries of tomorrow.

In this simple tap-along audio we spend time on physical and mental fatigue, as well as emotional exhaustion, and work on preparing the system for a great night of rest and relaxation. Let me know in the comments section below if this helps you out.

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Even though we spend most of our time tapping to try to reduce emotions, emotions are not our enemy. Our emotional response is our internal guidance system trying to keep us safe and on track.

Fear is an extremely helpful emotion in that it helps us to see danger BUT problems arise if our fear response is excessive and causes us to go into a state of flight, fight, freeze, or fog. When this happens, the fear moves from pointing out a problem, to crippling us.

Even when we notice that we are feeling fearful, it can be difficult to leave that state because our system thinks this is the best way to keep us on guard.

Today we are going to tap for neutralizing our fear and moving to a more useful state of focus and urgency. By having a proper sense of urgency we can stay on task without being crippled by fear.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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This is really embarrassing, but it’s a true story.

I live in New York City, a pedestrian city where most people don’t drive. Even when you take mass transit you still need to walk a lot just to get around. The subway stop I use most is 3/4 of a mile walk from my apartment.

As a result, people here tend to be healthier than the national average because of the daily walking they're required to do, so I see far fewer obese people in NYC than I do in other parts of the United States.

Back in 2014 when this was originally recorded, I was in a rural part of the US. As we were entering a restaurant there was a group of people walking out. Two members of the group leaving the restaurant were obese; they were so big it was hard for them to walk.

And this is the really embarrassing part…when I saw them my first thought and emotion was one of disgust. It washed over my whole body so intensely that I felt sick to my stomach for a second.

The second emotion was of total shame for being disgusted. I was, and am, so disappointed in myself.

When something like this happens, our emotional response is about us. It is about how we see ourselves, the world, and what we think is safe. My feelings of disgust had little to do with the people I saw and everything to do with how I see myself.

In this recording you will hear me tap in real time for the feelings of disgust I experienced, the shame that soon followed, and all the issues that came up as I found my way to the root causes of those feelings.

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On a recent episode of the Judge John Hodgman podcast, one of the litigants (when talking about her husband) said "I want him to have what he wants. I just want him to want something different."

That is such a relatable sentiment. Sometimes we believe we can see the best path for our loved ones, but at the exact same time we want them to be in control of their own lives and choices.

This week we talk about and tap about how to come to terms with wanting the best for others when they are making choices that we might not love.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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When we are wanting to take action, it is very easy for us to be stuck because of worry. Worry is nothing more than a part of us trying to keep us safe by keeping an eye out for everything that could possibly go wrong.

The problem is that the part of us that worries, often worries way too much. The size of the concern for our safety doesn't match the size of any potential danger.

This week I have a simple question you can ask when facing self-sabotage and resistance to taking action. If you ask this question and tap with the answer, you will clear resistance and be able to take action quickly. What are you waiting for?!

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My clients tell me all the time: "This is so frustrating! I feel like I am dealing with the same issue over and over again. When am I going to get past this!?!"

I can appreciate their frustration. We want to feel like the time we are spending on our transformation is fruitful. We want to move in a positive direction as we continue to do the work.

In reality, we aren't dealing with the same issue over and over again but dealing with different issues that feel the same.

This week I explore why it feels like you are repeatedly dealing with the same issue, why you aren't, and what is actually going on in the healing process.

Understanding this framework will make it easier to keep moving forward.

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There is this interesting phenomenon where the more we hear something, the more likely we are to believe it. It has nothing to do with the validity of the claim. The simple repetition of a statement somehow lends it credibility in our minds.

A perfect example of this is in the shape of a question I often receive from my readers. It goes something like this:

I really love your tapping scripts, but I am worried because you use the word ‘not’ all the time. I know the subconscious mind doesn’t hear the word not. When you have us tap on “I am not going to be anxious” you are really tapping on “I am going to be anxious.” Aren’t you worried that you are tapping in something negative?

If you have ever worried about saying the word ‘not’ when tapping, then you need to listen to this podcast.

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It is good that we are thankful for what we have in our lives. Expressing gratitude helps us to be appreciative, grounded, and there are even health benefits to being thankful.

The problem is that on a subconscious level we may feel that wanting more means do not appreciate what we already have, and that can prevent us from moving forward.

This week I have a short tap-along audio and script to help you to be thankful AND move forward at the same time.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Every time we make a choice we are limiting our future options. That is the simple reality of choice.

If I choose to study literature at university, I am limiting my ability to become a medical doctor. If I choose to go to Norway on vacation, that limits my ability to go to Japan this year. I have time for one movie tonight, so if I choose “Rear Window” I can’t watch “Strangers On A Train”.

Recognizing that one choice can limit our future choices can hold us back from taking action because we don’t want to miss out. In the end we choose to do nothing, which is a choice in itself.

In this short audio I share a few easy ways to approach making choices so that we don’t get stuck by choosing to do nothing at all. There is also a short tap-along audio to help clear the resistance to making choices.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Many of my clients would identify as the 'black sheep' of their families or communities. Because they moved to the beat of their own drums, they were usually out of step with everyone else.

This can be particularly difficult for youngsters to handle because it felt unsafe to express their true selves. In order to survive, it's human nature to develop tricks, tools, and techniques to get by.

At the time they were the best (and often the only) way to get through those difficult times, but the tools that were helpful as children are not necessarily helpful as adults.

The problem is that when we use certain tools and tactics for so long, they become ingrained and habitual.

In this audio we talk about how to let go of these old tools in favour of new and better ways to manage our lives.

In addition to the instruction in this podcast, there is a tap-along audio. You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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One of my clients recently asked me, “What is the endgame to this tapping thing?” What he meant by the question is besides the constant improvement of our lives (which is no small thing), where does tapping lead us? What is the final goal?

We usually think that we tap to feel better, and of course this is true, but there's more to it than just feeling better.

In my mind, we tap for two main reasons. How we tap is impacted by these reasons and each has its own tapping approach. In this audio I explain the two reasons and how to best tap for them.

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There is no shortage of pain or struggle in the world. Because of this, at any given moment any number of our loved ones can be suffering in big and small ways.

When our loved ones are in pain, we really want to ease their burden, but just because that is our intention doesn't mean that there are tangible actions we can take to be helpful.

In this week's podcast I have a simple tap-along and script that you can use when your loved ones are struggling.

I am not naive enough to believe that tapping for a struggling loved one will completely transform their world. I do know that if I take a few moments to tap for them, I will be more present to their difficulties, meaning I will be more thoughtful in the moment in how I respond. ALSO, I believe that spending a few moments thinking loving thoughts for a friend in pain is a good investment of my time.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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How we end a tapping session is sometimes more important than how we begin it. At the beginning it is most important that we simply start tapping. With each successive round of tapping, we gain clarity about the issue at hand and where we should focus our efforts.

For me, there are two goals for the last little bit of tapping at the end of a session.

First, I often feel a little groggy and fuzzy brained when I've been tapping for a while, which makes sense as tapping often releases a lot of stored emotion and memories. It is important that I'm able to return to my day feeling calm and grounded.

Second, even though we have stopped tapping doesn't mean the process of healing and transformation has ended. The new thoughts and beliefs we've connected with are still integrating even after the tapping stops. At the end of the session, I find it useful to remind myself that the process of healing and transformation will continue after a session. This recognition encourages me to come back and tap again and again.

By taking a few minutes to tap in this way, we can get the most out of our tapping sessions and also set ourselves up for success after the session.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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On October 20th I received the sad news that Dr. Pat Carrington had passed away the day before at the age of 95.

In the tapping world Pat was best known for creating the Choices Method and was one of the Founding EFT Masters.

On a personal level, she was an amazing champion of my work and I know I wouldn't have the career that I have today if it weren't for her public support.

When someone we love and care about dies, it is emotionally hard. It is natural to feel grief and loss, but sometimes these emotions can be too much.

This week I have for you a tap-along audio and tapping script to help in times of grief and loss.

Learn more about Dr. Carrington's life and work

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Today it is commonly acknowledged that cultivating a sense of gratitude can be a powerful tool for helping us to live better and emotionally healthier lives. So much so that I even have clients who try to find their way to feeling a sense of gratitude when struggling with an emotional issue. My clients regularly tell me things like, "I spent some time this morning doing gratitude exercises to try to change my mindset."

Unfortunately, simply saying that you feel thankful is not enough to turn around an emotional issue. In this week's podcast I share with you the difference between the feelings of gratitude and poverty. When I use the word "poverty" in this context I'm not talking specifically about a lack of money, but rather feeling like we don't have enough of anything. We can feel a poverty of support, opportunity, love, health, or just about anything else.

When we understand the difference between the emotions of gratitude and poverty, we can use this understanding in our personal transformation work.

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On any given day there are more than a dozen stories in the news about what is happening to the Earth's environment.

On one level it is good that we are better informed about what is going on in the world and how our choices impact our environment.

But on another level it can feel overwhelming because the problem is so vast. When we don't see how we can make a difference, it is easy to become discouraged and hopeless.

Even though the problem is big and the solutions are hard to come by, it doesn't mean it is hopeless. Here is the tapping I do to feel hopeful and encouraged to take whatever actions I can take.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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One of the most powerful tools in my own learning as a practitioner has been listening to other practitioners working with real clients on real issues. It is a great chance to see how a skilled practitioner takes concepts I understand intellectually and apply them in real world situations.

In this unique audio you have the opportunity to hear me working one-on-one with a real client. As well as hearing me tap with my client, you'll hear my additional commentary explaining my choices and my thought process in the moment.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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For me, loneliness is one of the toughest emotions.

The sense of disconnection that comes with feeling lonely almost feels like we are losing touch with our own humanity. That swirling black hole of emotion seems to keep pulling us in ever deeper.

One of the hardest parts of loneliness is feeling it even when we are surrounded by others. Here is the tapping that I do when I feel lonely.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio in pdf form over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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It is no fun when we feel hurt by what someone else says or does. In many cases these hurtful words or actions are unintentional, and others may be completely unaware that they have hurt us.

Even though it wasn't their intention to cause us pain, we feel hurt nonetheless.

In this podcast we explore the best way to respond when we are hurt by the words or actions of others.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Sometimes it's hard to know where to start tapping on an issue.

We know tapping will help. We know that we just need to start. But we don't quite know where to start. Our emotions feel like a knotty, tangled up necklace, with no obvious place to begin.

In this week's audio I have the perfect way to start tapping for an issue when you don't know where to begin. It's particularly useful for helping us to tap when we are feeling stuck about taking action.

I encourage you to listen to find out how to tap for:

The nature of fear
Not needing to be perfect
Clearing the emotions around the situation so that you can work towards uncovering root causes

The beautiful thing about this process is that after you listen to it just once, you will be able to use it any time you sit down to tap.

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Tapping is a powerful tool that can be used to clear a huge range of issues, even those that have plagued us for years.

Starting to make better choices feels great and allows positive change to seep into every part of our daily lives.

At a certain point we almost forget about the issue because it seems like a distant memory.

But then: WHAM! Out of nowhere we are right back in the middle of the old issue, emotions, or belief.

We feel bad because of what we are experiencing AND we feel bad because we feel we've failed by falling back into our old behavior.

That happened to me recently. Something I thought I had cleared snuck back up on me.

In this audio I share how that can happen and what we can do to respond to backsliding on issues we thought we had cleared for good.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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I pride myself on being a thoughtful and helpful person. I like to believe that I am good at living up to my commitments.

Most of the time this is true.

BUT I am also human and I do make mistakes and unintentionally let people down.

This week I have a very simple tap-along audio (and tapping script) to deal with those times in which we feel shame for letting others down.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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In my client sessions over the last few weeks I have found myself repeatedly saying that there are four reasons why we sabotage ourselves and stand in the way of taking the action we know we want to take.

Without exception my clients respond with, “Wait! I want to write this down.”

So here are those four reasons written down for you:

We don’t have a clear vision.
We don’t know how to take the step.
It is painful to take action.
It is painful to be successful.

There are practical and emotional reasons that can show up in each of these four areas.

In this week’s podcast I walk through all of these AND how you can start tapping for them.

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In my early years of tapping I was super eager to share tapping with everyone I possibly could.

Over time I learned that it was best to share tapping (or anything for that matter) only with people who are actually open to learning something new.

A number of years ago I was on a flight from Los Angeles to Chicago and ended up in a conversation with a fellow passenger that led to us doing a tapping session right there on the flight.

Here are the twelve lessons I took away from the experience that might help you when you are tapping on your own, tapping with others, or are in a situation where you might be able to share tapping with others.

You will find a written version of the twelve lessons below the player.

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Note: If you find reading instructions more helpful than listening, you should check out the article version of the topic.

When people unsubscribe from my mailing list they have the opportunity to leave a comment.

I recently received a really interesting comment from someone who was unsubscribing from my list. She wrote:

“I am very busy at the moment and I don’t have time to practice, so I feel stressed out.”

I find that a fascinating comment. She is saying that her life feels so out of control that the thought of doing something that will make it better (like tapping) is too overwhelming!

The reason she isn’t willing to take the time to tap? It’s not because she doesn’t have the time or know how.

The reason is because she isn’t in enough pain.

I’m serious.

In the podcast I explain why being in pain can be a really positive thing AND how we can cultivate this pain to help us to take action.

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When I first started using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) I thought the reason that we tapped was to feel better. My first two experiences with tapping reinforced this belief.

My first memory of using EFT on my own was getting rid of one of the most profound headaches I had ever had in about 90 seconds. My second big moment was dealing with my social anxiety.

It makes sense that this is what I thought EFT was all about because in both cases I felt SO much better.

But there will be times when using tapping only as a way to feel better will do us a disservice because it impacts the action we take.

This week I explore the two different types of outcomes that come from tapping and how to make sure we get the outcome that makes the most sense for the issue we are tapping on.

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Trying again where we have failed in the past is one of the hardest things to do.

I was recently faced with wanting to do something that didn’t go well in the past. It wasn’t that it went badly, but it was far from as successful as I would have liked, so I was hesitant about trying again.

Here is an audio of me tapping in real time for this issue. You will hear me tapping for the issue and then processing each round of tapping to see what needs to be tapped on next.

The tapping produces a useful tapping script and also shows you how I process through issues in real time.

I would love your feedback on the tapping and to know if you find it helpful.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Theoretically we all want to be our authentic selves and show up in the world as we actually are.

But for most of us it's just not that simple. From past experience we have learned that there are some situations where others don't understand us, or we have been judged harshly for being our authentic selves.

That makes us reluctant to present ourselves in a way that will be judged by others.

In truth, being our authentic selves is not an all-or-nothing proposition. We can choose how much of ourselves to share, with whom we share it, and when we share it. This will ensure we are doing in a way that is safe for us.

This week I have a tap-along audio and tapping script that will help you to feel safe as you find the ways in which you want to share your authentic self.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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As many of you know, I also run the member site the Ruach Center. Every day members of the site receive an email from me with a link to a tap-along audio that is designed to conquer self-sabotaging behavior.

Recently, as I was recording one of those audios, I personally experienced a huge emotional shift.

This tap-along is about connecting to and appreciating all parts of our being and our experience. Even though the audio and script are short, it will make you feel more grounded right away.

I thought it would be a great thing to share with everyone, not just the site members.

I hope you find it as powerful as did.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Tapping is a tool that is both relatively simple to learn and implement, but deceptively complicated to master.

The basics of tapping are easy to explain. So much so that I have given full instructions on the basics in under five minutes on the back of a bar napkin.

At the same time, tapping effectively for a particular issue can require much subtlety and nuance and sometimes we need the help of an outside practitioner to be successful. That's why, despite being an experienced tapper and practitioner myself, I regularly work with a practitioner on my own issues.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when tapping is choosing the wrong starting point for their issue. When this happens, progress is slow and relief is hard to find.

Here is a simple process that I use to ensure that I am using the best starting point for my tapping.

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The basics of tapping are so simple that they can be taught in mere minutes.

But just because tapping is simple, doesn’t mean that effective tapping is easy. There is so much more to it than knowing the tapping points.

In this short audio I explain three simple ideas to keep in mind before you tap to help you to get the most out of your tapping sessions. Each of the three ideas comes with a short tap-along to help you execute them.

I would love to hear how this works for you. Let me know your results down in the comment section.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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It is great that we have people in our lives who want to be helpful. They are willing to offer their time, attention and advice to make our lives better.

The problem is that just because someone wants to be helpful, doesn't mean that they are actually helpful – and sometimes they even make a situation worse!

I call this type of help "well-meaning incompetence". Their heart is in the right place, but their advice or action doesn't actually do us any good.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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It is difficult for us to see the people we love suffer but often we don’t consider the consequences when we rush in to help. Our need to bring peace and comfort can override all other thoughts and considerations. This is not always the healthiest choice for us in the short and/or long term.

Sometimes when we choose to help we do so by taking on the burdens of our loved ones. Many times we can carry these burdens for years without realizing, or we take on burdens when we are very young and do not remember choosing to do so.

When the burdens of others have been a part of our lives for so long they feel like they are a part of us and we don’t realize that they can be released.

Taking on someone else’s burden is an act of love motivated by wanting someone’s life to be better. But there is an even higher act of love which is to release the burden we have taken on, bringing freedom to ourselves and to others.

In this brief audio you will hear me leading a client through a demonstration of how we can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping to let go of the burdens we are carrying for others.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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The idea of quitting comes with a lot of cultural baggage. Quitting is often seen as failure, or giving up, or as a sign of weakness.

I'm sure you have heard the old chestnut, "Winners never quit and quitters never win."

Don't get me wrong. It is a good thing to live up to commitments and take responsibility for the outcome of our choices, but at the same time, so is quitting the activities that are not producing positive outcomes.

It is good for us to let go of the tasks, plans, relationships, and activities that no longer serve who we are and who we want to be.

This week I have a tap-along audio that will help you to be comfortable with quitting the parts of your life that no longer serve you. This is one you might need to tap on more than once.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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This is a technique that I developed from some of the resources from Quantum Techniques. I use this with many of my clients at the end of sessions, especially when we have done powerful work.

This is also a great way to relax at any time, but is particularly good for the end of the day or right before bedtime.

The technique takes less than three minutes and it’s so easy to master that you only need to listen to it once. The interesting thing is how effective this tool is and it doesn't even require you to tap at all.

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If you have been following me of any length of time online, then you know how much I love goal setting.

I find that goals are useful in clarifying what we want, helping us to create an actionable plan, and give us the tools to evaluate our progress.

At the same time, having a clear idea of what we want can actually become a problem when we turn success into an all-or-nothing proposition. When we make our goals all or nothing, anything less than perfection will feel like a failure.

For example, let's consider a painful knee that hurts at the level of a 7 on a 0 to 10 scale. If my all-or-nothing goal is to be completely pain free, even a reduction in the pain to a 2 will leave me feeling dissatisfied.

This causes two problems in the moment. First, we aren't able to appreciate the progress we have made. Second, we are much less likely to take action again in the future because we are unlikely to attempt tasks at which we "failed" in the past.

This week I have a simple tap-along audio to help you celebrate the success you are having and to clear any resistance to keep taking action because you haven't yet reached your goal.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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While on retreat a number years ago Russ Hudson said, “We must be in touch with the mind, body, and spirit in order to be candidates for transformation.”

Because of the nature of the modern world we have lost touch with our physical bodies. Most of us are not working the land, in tune with the seasons, or using our bodies for work. Just watch someone who is on-line. It looks as if they have left their bodies.

It is very easy (and healthy) to reconnect with our physical bodies.

This simple little tap-along will help you to reconnect to your body and feel more grounded inside your body. It takes less than 4 minutes to do and is the prefect tap-along to start your day. After you do it a few times you are going to be able to repeat the process without having to listen to the audio again.

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Human beings are social creatures.

That means that in order to thrive, we need to do more than just interact with others, we need to work together, whether collaboratively in a professional context, or by sharing enjoyable activities in our social lives.

Whenever we ask someone to do something with or for us, we risk being turned down. That may seem obvious, but there is a deeper issue at play because on a subconscious level, a rejection may be read as a rejection of us and who we are.

Even though this isn't the case, if we are struggling with that emotion, we are unlikely to take the action that we want to take. When we don't ask to connect and work with others, we miss opportunities and our lives aren't as rich.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along (tapping script below) to help you to know it is safe to ask others, even if they might say no.

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I am a huge proponent of goal setting.

Having clearly defined goals is helpful in two ways. First, it helps to define the actions we need to take to achieve them. Second, it gives us a measuring stick with which to evaluate our efforts along the way and after the fact.

Without having set goals I wouldn’t be as happy and successful as I am. I love goal setting so much that I created an entire web site dedicated to working toward your goals.

But there is a problem with goals: they create expectations.

Expectations aren't the problem, but they can create a false dichotomy. On a subconscious level we may believe that either we achieve our goals as written OR we have failed, with nothing in between.

Failing to recognize our progress can demotivate us.

In this short audio and tap-along I talk about how you can avoid the feeling of all or nothing that setting goals can create. (As always, the full tapping script can be found below the audio player.)

If you are interested in a systematic way of using tapping to achieve your goals and avoiding common pitfalls like the “all-or-nothing” disposition, I encourage you to check out The Ruach Center

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With some issues measuring our success is a simple task. For example, after going to the gym four times a week for a few months I can measure how much stronger I am by how much weight I can now lift compared with when I started.

But not all types of transformation are as easy to track, particularly for issues and responses that are incrementally changing over time. For example, how could you measure more confidence or less anger?

In this conversation Mary Ayers and I talk about how we can measure our progress through the lenses of three different characteristics of the issue that are all measurable.

If you are tapping on an issue over the course of multiple tapping sessions, then understanding this is a must. First, it will help you to understand what is working so that you can continue to do it. Second, it will identify the areas where you need to try a different approach. Finally, seeing the progress that is often missed will help you to gain momentum in your transformational work.

Guest: Dr. Mary Ayers

Contact: web @ TapIntoAction.com; web radio @ The Chickenshits Guide to Success; facebook @ Tap Into Action

About Mary: Dr. Mary Ayers knows how to get people un-stuck! With her years of experience as a therapist and a coach, you won't find the typical or ordinary coaching techniques in her programs. When it comes to taking action, she pulls out all the stops – delving deep to find those hidden fears and limiting beliefs. Known for her UNconventional, often “off the wall” methods, she will get you moving towards your goals without bullying, shaming or "pushing through the fear". With over 27 years in the Human Development field, her accomplishments include 5 years as a coach with the Anthony Robbins Organization, EFT Expert on The Tapping World Summit, and Host of the radio show "The Chickenshit's Guide to Success".

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We often treat our bodies as if they are the enemy and the journey towards better health as a battle.

We can feel betrayed by our bodies, and feel hopeless and frustrated by our slow or lack of progress.

But our bodies are not our enemy. In reality, our bodies are doing what they can to be healthy and there are simply unseen obstacles to the healing process

Once we recognize that we are not separate from our bodies, and that they are trying to function in an optimal way, it becomes easier to work towards better health and well being.

Recently I was working with a client on returning to a healthier body after backsliding (again). After a great session he asked if we could spend some time on helping him to believe that progress was possible and to reconnect with his body.

When we had finished the session he said, “You should write that down so others can use it.” When I told him that I could share the recording if I had his permission, he insisted I did, so here it is.

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It is amazing how much stock we put in other people's opinion of who we are and how we are supposed to be in the world.

Recently I was introduced to the quote "I'm not who I think I am. I not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am."

[Note: Unfortunately the source of this quote is not clear, or I would provide it. It is variously credited to Charles Horton Cooley, Thomas Cooley, and Dennis Cooley.]

The gist of the quote is that we often find ourselves trying to live up to an imagined standard that we think other people have for us.

This is a surefire recipe for self-sabotage! Either we will be trying to do what we want to do and trying to do what we think others want us to do. This has us taking action in multiple and often conflicting ways, which results in little to no progress. OR we take no action at all because we are caught between our own desires and the perceived desires of others.

In this week's podcast I provide two ways to remedy this situation.

First, I have a simple process for uncovering and tapping for the specific expectations we think others have for us. Second, I have more general tap-along to help you get moving even when you can't see the beliefs clearly.

As always, I have included a text version of the tapping script below the audio player that you can print out.

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The human experience can be full of complications and conflicts. My clients often say things like "I am of two minds" or "My head is telling me one thing but my heart is telling me something else."

It's difficult to move forward if we feel we are being pulled in multiple directions!

To help navigate this, I have created what I call the Grounding Process. It is designed to move you from feeling scattered to being fully grounded by connecting your mind, heart, and physical body to your higher self.

This is one of my favorite processes and I teach it in my advanced classes as an example of both guided imagery and parts work. I do this process myself at least once a week. The first time I did it I was amazed at the information my system gave me.

A number of years ago Jessica Ortner of the Tapping Insiders Club interviewed me about the process. We then did the process together, so that you can tap right along with it.

[Note: In an effort to make the Tapping Q & A Podcast archive easier to navigate, the old bonus podcasts have been turned into full episodes. This episode was originally released December 24th, 2009.]

This is one of my favorite processes. I teach it in my advanced classes as an example of both guided imagery and parts work. I do this process myself at least once a week. The first time I did it I was amazed at the information my system gave me. In this version Jessica of the Tapping Insiders Club asks me a few questions about it and then you can follow the process and tap right along.

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Music can be so powerful at setting our mood.

So much so that experiments have shown that music can dictate our interpretation of events where images are accompanied by different kinds of music. For example, grave images with whimsical music were seen as humorous, and sad pictures with silly music were perceived as funny.

We have a special connection to music in our teenage years for a number of reasons:

It's usually the time in our lives in which we listen to music the most
Teenagers are often most engaged in seeking out and listening to new music
We experience the most emotional change in our teenage years (see podcast 373 on the adolescent brain)

Hearing a song from your teenage years can instantly put you back in that time. It is more than a fleeting feeling of nostalgia, it's like you have been transported back in time. The strength of that connection means that music can be a great tool for clearing issues from the past that we are still carrying.

This week I have one of my favorite tools for you on how music from our teen years can be used with tapping to effect powerful transformation.

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Did you know that during adolescence the brain goes through more neurological changes that it does at any point in human development? That's even more changes than during the notorious "terrible twos" and one of the reasons why interacting with teenagers can be so complicated.

Being around teens can be challenging because they constantly seem to be on a giant emotional rollercoaster!

This week I have a conversation with Janey Downshire who is one of the co-authors of Teenagers Translated: A Parent’s Survival Guide. I met Janey at the EFT Gathering a number of years ago and was instantly impressed with her work in helping parents to understand and support their teenagers.

In the conversation we talk about:

The difference between the settled and the unsettled brain (for teens and parents)
How the adolescent brain is a work in progress
Why teenage boys struggle to talk about their emotions
Why teenage boys are risk seekers
Why teenage girls struggle with fallout from friend groups
Why parents often think something is a small deal when teens think it is a big deal
Why the teenage years are harder than the "terrible twos"
The goal we want for our teens: not calm, but good mental health habits that will stand them in good stead in later life
How parents can avoid escalating conflict with their teenagers
The best thing you can provide for your children
What to tap on and when to tap as a parent
How to introduce tapping to kids

If you have a teenager, spend time with teenagers, or have children who will soon be teenagers, I urge you to listen to this one.

Guest: Janey Downshire

Contact: Web @ TeenagersTranslated.co.uk; Facebook @ TeenagersTranslated; email @ janey@teenagerstranslated.co.uk; Book @ Teenagers Translated: A Parent’s Survival Guide

About: Janey Downshire (Grad. Dip. Couns; Cert Emotional Literacy; MBACP) and her colleague Naella Grew are both qualified counsellors, specialising in teenage development. For over 10 years, they have worked together to design a unique range of courses for students, adults and teachers, which they deliver through their company Teenagers Translated. Their presentations distil the most current research in psychology, neuroscience, biochemistry and child development into practical, relevant strategies for their audiences. Their work aims to deepen understanding and awareness of the links between emotions, physiology, mental habits and behaviour in order to promote better communication and relationships and improve mental health, emotional regulation and wellbeing in families and schools. Janey and Naella are both parents, Janey has four children, now at university and working in London.

Teenagers Translated: A Parent’s Survival Guide

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I recognize the fact that I feel like I should do this...Should is a powerful word...When I use the word should...It feels like I must...When I use the word should...It feels like I have to...When I use the word should...It feels as if I am out of control...But it makes sense that I feel like I am obliged to something that others say I should do...There is an ancient and primitive part of me that recognizes that if I was pushed outside of the tribe, I would die...Because staying connected to the community was a matter of life or death...Staying connected to the community was a necessity...And going against the grain was dangerous...Going against the grain was perilous...Therefore I have learned to do what the community wants and expects...Because at one point in history it was a matter of life and death...But that is no longer the case...And I can go my own way and survive...I can make the choices that are best for me and thrive...And because of this, the word should doesn't have to hold so much power over me...Recognizing that can be difficult...Because most of the shoulds in our lives have been passed on by people close to us...We all want to belong and be connected...Especially to those closest to us...But I give myself permission to know that I can stay connected to my loved ones...Without having to do what they think I should be doing...I'm allowed to do what I want...I am safe choosing what I want...I can remain connected to others while choosing what I want...When anyone says I should do something...I can take that as input...I can take that as something to consider...But it is nothing more than someone else's opinion...And I am allowed to take it for as much or as little as I want...I get to choose what is right for me...Not because of the cultural norm...Not because someone else said I should do it...But simply because I want to do it...I give myself permission to let go of the word should...There's nothing I should do...There are only things that I choose to do...And things I choose not to do...I am responsible for those choices...I am responsible for the consequences of those choices...But they are my choices...Because I choose to do them...Not because I should do them...I give myself permission to have control over my own life and my own choices...I give myself permission to let go of should.

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A concept that I learned very early on in my training as a practitioner was: Our emotional response is dictated by how we describe the world, and not the way the world actually is.

That's why I am constantly asking my clients for more details about how they understand what is going on in their lives. In many cases, when we are able to change the way they describe their situation, their emotions shift, even before we have started tapping.

One of the words that always gets my attention, is when a client uses the word "should". Should, by its very nature, implies an expectation which may or may not be true. (In practice, it almost always implies an expectation that isn't true.)

There are three parts to this week's podcast:

We explore where our sense of "should" comes from and why it can cause emotional problems, which in turn lead us to not taking action, or taking actions that aren't right for us.
I share a simple process that you can use to interrogate the actions that you feel you "should" be taking. This process will help you to pin down the origin of a specific should, and whether or not it serves you.
A simple tap-along to do once you realize you can let go of something you believe you should be doing.

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In Pod #370 last week we talked about how best to use tapping when contemplating or going through a divorce.

This week I have a conversation with Melissa Beasley about abusive relationships.

Between these two conversations you can see how hard it is to talk about relationships going badly. There is so much cultural and personal baggage around admitting that a relationship hasn't worked out. It becomes even more complicated when emotional and physical abuse is part of the equation.

In this week's podcast Melissa Beasley and I talk about abusive and toxic relationships and cover:

How to identify an abusive relationship (including why it is so difficult to identify a toxic relationship from the inside)
The tools and tactics used by abusive partners
Why people stay in abusive relationships
The four stages of moving out of a toxic relationship and into a healthy post-relationship life
Steps for getting out of a toxic relationship
How to use tapping in all four stages of leaving a toxic relationship

This is a resource that everyone needs to listen to.

Here is a list of helpful resources if you find yourself in this situation:

Domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Domestic violence hotline website with tons of helpful info and a 24/7 chat: TheHotline.org
Book: Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft
Book: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans
Book: BIFF - Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns by Bill Eddy. It's about how to communicate with high conflict people
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy
Christian Book: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernik
Christian Book: Divorce and Remarriage in the Church by David Instone Brewer
Christian Book: Give Her Wings: Help and Healing After Abuse by Megan Cox

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Guest: Melissa Beasley

Contact: web @ MelissaDawnBeasley.com; web @ LoveEssentialSkinCare.com; facebook @Love Essential Skin Care; Instagram @loveessentialskincare

About: Melissa is a natural skincare formulator and manufacturer. She started making skincare in her parents' kitchen as a way to support herself and her two boys after her divorce. She still manufactures her products for her own brand Love-Essential Skin Care, and she creates custom product lines for spas, salons and natural product companies.

Melissa now uses the skills and knowledge she learned while growing her skincare business to help other moms create and grow their own businesses. She understands the unique challenges that mothers, and especially single mothers, face when trying to grow a business and helps them navigate those challenges so they can have a successful business without giving up their sanity or time with their precious babies.

EFT was one of Melissa's most important tools when recovering from her divorce and growing Love-Essential Skin Care and is instrumental in helping her clients.

The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope

The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition: How to recognize it and how to respond

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns

Divorce and Remarriage in the Church: Biblical Solutions for Pastoral Realities

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Abusive and Controlling Men

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Divorce is a tricky subject.

One one level there is all the cultural pressure to find a way of making a success of a struggling relationship. On the other, there is the desire to keep yourself happy and healthy by ending a relationship that is no longer working.

Because of these opposing desires, figuring out a divorce is seldom straightforward.

This week I have a conversation with Kate Anthony, a coach and the author of the "Divorce Survival Guide".

We talk about the emotions that come up with considering divorce:

What will happen to my kids and how can I support them emotionally?
How is it going to work out financially on my own?
Isn't there one more thing I should try?
How will my friends and family react if I get divorced?
How will I face my faith community if I get divorced?
What if I am just over reacting to something that could be fixed?

If you are in an unfulfilling relationship, this is the perfect starting point to start sorting out (and tapping for) your emotions.

ALSO, if you know someone who is going through difficulties in their relationship, this conversation will give you ideas for a starting point to asking them thoughtful questions and how to be emotionally support in such a difficult time.

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Guest: Kate Anthony

Contact: web @ KateAnthony.com; facebook @ CoachKateAnthony; instagram @thedivorcesurvivalguide

About: Kate Anthony is a certified life coach who helps women decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages and then guides them through the divorce process should they choose to leave. Kate empowers women to find their strength, passion, and confidence, even in the most disempowering of circumstances and helps them move forward with concrete plans, putting their children at the center (not in the middle) of all decisions.

In addition to her certification, Kate has also trained as a relationship coach and is an expert in communication, co-parenting, and emotional intelligence.

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A common characteristic of people involved in personal development and self-help is that they are caring and thoughtful people. As well as trying to improve their own lives, they strive to make the world a better place.

Because of this, they are sensitive to other people's needs and desires and they really want to make a difference.

At the same time, they tend to put other people's needs before their own and sometimes their loved ones take advantage of this. They start to feel like doormats and begin to resent others.

This week I have a tap-along audio and tapping script for those times when you feel like that you are too nice and that others are taking advantage of you.

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Our internal critical voice is one of the key reasons we fail to take the action we want in life. This constant nagging voice in our heads points out all of our past failings, why we aren't capable of taking action now, and why we will fail in the future.

When we have a voice inside of our head telling us this over and over again, it can become crippling. The stronger the critical voice is, the less likely we are to take action.

In this podcast Jacqui Letran and I talk about why the critical voice exists (and there is a good reason), how we can tap for it, and a new analogy for how to think about it.

The image that Jacqui shares for the critical voice is one I had never thought of and is just perfect. Her description completely changed the way I think of my own critical voice.

We also talk about how best to tap in the moment to reduce the power of the critical voice.

Note: During the conversation we talk about forgiveness, the pitfalls around being able to forgive, and how to approach forgiveness in a healthy way. Here is a more comprehensive reflection on how to achieve forgiveness of others and of self into your tapping work.

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Guest: Jacqui Letran

Contact: Web @ JacquiLetran.com;
Amazon Author's Page @ Jacqui Lentran; Podcast @ Stop the Bully Within
Instagram @Roving.Vegans

About: Jacqui Letran is an Author, Speaker, Mindset Mentor and the Host of the Stop the Bully Within podcast. Jacqui’s Words of Wisdom for Teens book series won multiple awards and is often regarded as “must read” books for teens and young adults struggling with low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.

Through her one-on-one sessions, workshops, keynotes, as well as her books and podcast, Jacqui teaches that success and happiness are achievable by all, regardless of current struggles and circumstances. Jacqui is a gifted and energetic leader who dedicates her life’s work to help her clients and students transform their inner critic into their best friend and cheerleader, so they can create that powerful and resilient mindset needed to be happy and successful in life.

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As much as I love tapping, it is not the only or best tool that we can use for our health and wellbeing.

In her latest book "Energy Healing: Simple and Effective Practices to Become Your Own Healer" Kris Ferraro goes beyond the basic EFT tapping recipe and teaches many other tapping-type tools. They are all easy to learn, can be self-applied and each take less than a minute to perform.

Kris shares three of those tools on this week's podcast, which you will be able to use right away. In the conversation we cover:

Polarity switching
How to calm the flight, fight, and freeze response
How to clear governing vessel

I recommend that you add all of these tools to your tapping tool box!

Note: During the interview I talked about where I learned muscle testing. In case you are interested, this is the training I did from Quantum Techniques: Truth Techniques (aff) – DVDs | digital download
As noted by the "aff" this is an affiliate link, but I would recommend this course even if it weren't. Just last week I bought more products from QT because I love their stuff so much.

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Guest: Kris Ferraro

Contact:
web @ KrisFerraro.com; email @ me@krisferraro.com

About:

Kris Ferraro is an Energy Coach, Author, and Speaker based in northern NJ. She is the creator of Spiritual Freedom Techniques, a series of practices that combine ancient wisdom with EFT for transformation. Kris is a “true believer” in everyone's innate ability to heal. She helps clients release their debilitating emotional patterns so they can step into their power and purpose. Her book, "Energy Healing: Simple and Effective Practices to Become Your Own Healer", published by St. Martin's Press, introduces energy psychology to new audiences.

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In part one of "Getting Out Of My Own Way", the ten-part guide for using tapping to eliminate self-sabotage, I shared with you tapping to use at each end of your day.

Tapping is a great way to start off your day on the right foot. Ending the day with tapping helps to let go any unresolved emotions from the day and helps us to get a better night's sleep.

But tapping in the middle of the day is often overlooked and can be really helpful, providing the opportunity to:

Release any disappointment about what you haven't achieved in the morning
Catch your breath and re-ground yourself
Set your intention for the rest of the day

Tapping in this way is super easy! I have included a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to reset at midday.

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Download the free Tapping Q & A app which includes this and 50 other tapping scripts: Apple App | Google/Android App

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Feeling like we don't belong is tough. It might be because we don't feel we are smart enough, talented enough, have something offer the world, or that we just don't fit in.

Feeling like a fraud means that we don't contribute or speak up, we hide in the background, or we don't even show up. All of these strategies are to keep us safe because we don't want to be found out.

In most cases, feeling like a fraud has nothing to do with who we are, what we can do, and what we have to offer. Instead, it is because we are comparing what is going on inside our head with what we see on the outside of those around us.

We know our intentions and when we don't live up to them. We know the fear or insecurity we feel when we are taking action. At the same time, we only see what others do and assume (wrongly) that they are acting with perfect confidence and calm.

This means we aren't treating ourselves fairly!

Below is a tap-along audio and tapping script that will help you to tap when you feel like a fraud. It will help you to see yourself for who you are and see those around you for who they are.

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Download the Tapping Q & A app for free which include this and 50 other tapping scripts: Apple App | Google/Android App

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In Recovering Sell - A Healing Manifesto I share twelve thoughts on healing. Number six is: "There is always resistance to change because if there weren't resistance, you would have changed already."

As a tapper, this means that one of our most important tasks is to find the root cause(s) preventing us from taking action or making change.

Lori Lamont has developed an easy tool that you can use as a practitioner, or when you are tapping on your own to uncover these hidden resistances.

In addition to showing you how to uncover resistance, we also talk about a new way to capture these underlying issues so you can come back to them again and again.

This is a tool that every tapper needs to have in their tapping tool box.

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Grief is a topic that we don't talk about much publicly. We talk about loss. We talk about moving on. But we don't talk about grief itself.

When we don't talk about and process grief, it lingers and can cause problems for us in the future.

This week I have a conversation with Lynne Staley. Lynne is a tapper and certified Grief Recovery™ Specialist. In this podcast episode we cover:

Why we experience grief
The difference between grief and mourning
All of the experiences that can cause grief in addition to the death of a loved one (and the list is longer than you might think)
Practical steps you can take to work through your own grief and how to help someone else through theirs
How to use tapping while using these steps

This interview is a must-listen because every single one of us has experienced grief and will experience it again. Our conversation is practical and you will be able to use what you learn right away.

Note: Here is the the feelings inventory from the Center For Nonviolent Communication that we talked about in the interview.

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Guest:Lynne Staley

Contact: website @ Llife-After-Loss.com/; facebook @ LifeAfterLossCoach; email @ lynne@life-after-loss.com; book @ In Death Is the Secret to Life: A Tribute Journal

About: Lynne Staley has been a Companion to Grievers since 2002 and has a wealth of knowledge about grief, loss and life transitions. She is a Certified Emotional Freedom Techniques Practitioner and incorporates tapping in her work with clients to address grief-related stress. Lynne recognizes that grief is not just related to death; there are more than 40 losses identified by The Grief Recovery Institute, including health diagnoses, job loss, family estrangement, etc. In addition to Grief Integration, she teaches EFT to elders, hospice staff, school personnel, student athletes, student musicians, other “creatives”, etc. She is the author of In Death Is the Secret to Life: A Tribute Journal.

In Death Is the Secret to Life : A Tribute Journal

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One the most important ideas that I try to convey to all of my clients is the fact that emotions are not the enemy. Emotions are not a problem that we need to fix.

Instead, our emotions can provide us with useful information about how we are interpreting what is happening to us in the moment.

The aim of tapping is not to get rid of our emotions. Instead, we are working towards understanding why we are feeling those emotions, which in turn enables us to transform our understanding so that our emotions show up in a proportionate, well-informed way.

Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to recognize your emotions for what they are and stop feeling like you are caught in a battle with your emotional state. This is a great way to tap by itself and it also serves as a perfect way to set up a tapping session when you are working on a bigger issue.

Download the free Tapping Q & A app that includes the above script: Apple App | Google/Android App

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It is always encouraging to hear first-person success stories.

Hearing about other people's success helps us in a couple of ways.

First, it shows us what is possible. When we aren't making the progress we would like, and as quickly as we would like, it is easy to feel discouraged. Hearing about the success others have had gives us encouragement and inspiration.

Second, other people's success stories offer us a great opportunity to learn. Hearing how they overcame obstacles and found their way to success gives us ideas on how we can do the same.

In this week's podcast I have three stories of people who have used tapping successfully. This a great chance for all of us to learn and take encouragement!

Over the next year I will be sharing more stories like these, so if you have your own stories about tapping you'd like to share, please let me know and I will follow up with you to see if it is a good fit.

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Tapping is a powerful in helping us to find relief. It can reduce pain in the moment, it can diminish overpowering emotions, and it can even help us to see a problem more clearly.

As wonderful as all of this is, I think we are missing half of the benefits that we can be getting from tapping by only focusing on the relief.

What if it was possible for us to have more than relief with tapping?

A few weeks ago at the Spring Energy Event I presented two tools which can me used to move not just from pain to relief but instead from pain to a feel or resource that is powerful.

In this week's podcast I share with you one of those two tools.

After you listen to the instruction all you will need to executes this simple but powerful tool is the following 5 steps. (And, yes, these instructions will make total sense after you listen to the audio.)

Name the negative emotion that is being experienced
Name the positive emotion would like to be experience
Rate from -10 to +10
Do 3 rounds of tapping checking in each time with the new number and to gather more info
Repeat process for step 2 redefining the emotion you are moving towards

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In working with clients I have come to realize the most powerful fear that prevents us from taking action is the the fear that we are going to be rejected.

The reason this fear is so powerful is because of our history as a species. Thousands of years ago, as humans, we were in the situation in which we needed our tribe to survive. Being in a tribe meant that we weren't facing the world alone and that we had others we could count on. Being pushed out of the tribe meant we have to the face the threats of the world alone and it most certainly meant death.

Because of this history, when ever we feel like we are being rejected it stirs up this primitive fear. Since this is the case, the feeling of rejection on any level stops us in our track.

This means that tapping on the fear of rejection is one of the most important types of tapping that we can do.

This week I have for you three different tap-alongs that you can use to help you get past the fear of rejection.

Tapping scripts for all three tap-alongs that are included in this audio can be found below the player.

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Because of all of the conversations around the law of attraction and manifesting in the self help community, I often hear the concern "I don't want to say any negative phrases when I am tapping because I'm worried I'll manifest negative outcomes in my life."

Given the way that manifestation in this world view is taught, I can understand how this might be a concern.

To help you understand how to get the most out of your tapping, this week's podcast covers:

The scientific research on visualization
What happens when we say only positive phrases when tapping
How to get the most out of tapping to create change in your life

I also teach you a bonus method that I use when I am trying to create a new way of acting and being in the world.

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Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on challenging and changing thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and the development of personal coping strategies that target solving current problems.

That sounds a lot like what we are trying to do with tapping.

This week I have a conversation with Joan Kaylor who uses both tapping and CBT with her clients. She compares and contrasts the two approaches, highlights where they overlap, and how one can inform the other.

Understanding other modalities, tools, and techniques is a great way for us to improve the tools we are using.

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With each passing year there is more and more research being done in to how tapping works and what results can be expected. Dr. Peta Stapleton is one of the researchers who is on the forefront of this work.

Peta recently completed writing The Science Behind Tapping (which will be released April 16th). The book provides a brief history of tapping, a comprehensive overview of the scientific research done on tapping, and a clear set of recommendations on how to get the most out of tapping depending on the issues you are address based on scientific research.

In this conversation Peta give a preview to the information that is found in The Science Behind Tapping as well as ways you can get greater results from your tapping practice.

Knowing the latest scientific research about tapping will make it easier for you to share tapping with your sceptical friends and loved ones. If you want to share tapping with others then you must listen to this conversation.

You can pre-order it today!

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The Science Behind Tapping: A Proven Stress Management Technique for the Mind and Body

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I am worthy of success...I am worthy of celebrating that success...When I am successful…I'm not stealing success from others...When I am successful...I'm not pushing other people down...When I experience success...I can also lift others up...I am made for success...I am worthy of success...It is appropriate that I acknowledge that success...It is important that I celebrate my successes...And I'm not doing this in an egotistical way...I'm not doing this because I want other people to look at me...I'm doing it because acknowledging success is healthy...Celebrating my success creates space for more success...I know many people think celebrating is the wrong thing to do...Some friends and family believe we should all just be humble...But it is possible for us to be humble and still acknowledge the truth of our success...Some of my friends and family believe celebrating success is a sinful thing to do...They believe that celebrating is a sign of bad character...It is possible for me to appreciate their disposition without buying into it...I can appreciate my success and remain grounded...I can celebrate my success and keep moving forward...I am worthy of success...Because I am made for success.

I give myself permission to be happy about the good things happening in my life...I give myself permission to enjoy and savor them...Being happy about my success does not deprive other people of success...I'm happy about the good things happening in my life...Even though my life is not perfect...I can appreciate what I'm experiencing...And I can move through this in a way where I continue to connect deeply to my success...While continuing to experience joy...I am happy with the progress I am making...Even though it isn't happening as quickly as I would like...I celebrate each small step forward...Knowing that each of these moments is contributing to greater and greater success in the future...I appreciate how far I've come...I appreciate the amount of work that I have put in...I give myself permission to enjoy my success...Enjoying my success helps me to create more success in the future for myself...And more success in the future for others...I am comfortable and happy with my success.

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As Dr. Rick Henson shared with us back in Podcast 349, it is important that we spend time not just feeling positive emotions, but reveling in them. By doing this we can do more than enjoy feeling good in the moment, we can turn it into a habit for life.

For most of us, including me, spending a lot of time feeling celebratory isn't the most natural experience.

Celebration can feel embarrassing. It can feel boastful. It can even feel egotistical.

This week we talk and tap about how celebration can make us feel uncomfortable AND tapping in the spirit of celebration. All the tapping scripts from this audio can be found below the audio player.

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I’m frustrated by the rate of healing…I wish it was happening faster…I wish it was happening easier…I recognize the fact that when I feel this sort of resistance…And I feel this sort of resentment towards the healing process…I will slow the healing process…Because I don’t want to waste time…And I don’t want to waste energy on something that isn’t going to work out…On something that isn’t going to be fruitful…But at the same time I appreciate my frustration…Not because I enjoy being frustrated…But because frustration means that there is a part of me that wants healing and transformation to happen…Frustration is just my system saying it is dissatisfied with what is going on…I hear the frustration loud and clear…I don’t want me to be unhealthy…The frustration has done its job…By pointing out the slow rate of this transformation…And since I know this is true…The feeling of frustration can relax…And if the frustration needs to come back in future…That’s OK and I allow it to come back…I give myself permission to be easy and gentle with my frustration…Knowing it is possible for me to heal.

Intellectually I understand that transformation is a process…I understand that sometimes it doesn’t happen in a single step…That is because some of my issues are more complicated…Some of my issues have multiple layers to them…Sometimes my goal for tapping is to create release in the moment…And tapping is a very good tool for doing exactly that…But at times I want to create lasting and deep change…It’s more than just dealing with symptoms in the moment…I’m not looking for quick relief…I’m looking for a long term transformation…I give myself permission to be patient with the process…Even though I would like this to be quick…It is more important that it is lasting change…I give myself permission to be easy with the process…I give myself permission to allow this to take time…I am in this for the long haul…I am in this for long term, lasting transformation…I’m open to the possibility of instantaneous healing…But I’m willing to put in the work for lasting transformation even if it is not instantaneous.

I give myself permission to heal…I give myself permission to transform…By giving myself permission to heal and transform…I’m acknowledging that some of this work might be hard…I recognize the fact that I can do hard work in a way that is safe and healthy for me…I give myself permission to put in the time and effort…By investing in the short term in this way…I am ensuring my long term transformation will be lasting and deep…My goal is lasting transformation…I trust my system to create the process that will allow the healing to persist…To allow this transformation to take root…I am a healing machine…And I allow my system to keep healing.

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Even though tapping is such a powerful tool, at times it feels as if it is just taking too long to get the results we want.

In this week's podcast we are talking about:

Why healing sometimes needs to happen as part of a process
How to make the healing process as quick as possible (when it doesn't feel quick at all)
How to deal with the frustration of slow transformation

In the last step we will tap for the frustration around our healing not happening as fast as we would like, and why healing has to be process. (The tapping script is also included below the player.)

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In my conversation with Brad Yates he shared the Zig Ziglar quote “You cannot consistently perform in a manner which is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.”

The reason this quote came up is because we were talking about why we don't get the results we want with tapping that we are seeking.

Often times we tap because we want something to change in our life. But if we don't believe we are the type of person who can have the outcome we want, then we are going to sabotage ourselves to make sure we don't get it.

For example:

If we can't see ourselves as successful business owner then we are going to sabotage our business growth.
If we don't believe we are worthy of love then finding lasting romantic relationships are going to be hard.
If we think it is too late for change then finding time to do tapping isn't going to happen.

In this conversation we talk about four ways in which we can find the beliefs about ourselves that are incongruent with what we want and how to tap for them.

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Fear, worry, and anxiety are some of our most primitive emotions. Their main goal is to keep us safe and in some cases, alive.

Because of their vital function, these emotions will override all our other emotions, ensuring that they are heard first.

For the most part, this is a good thing and these emotions truly do keep us safe. Problems arise when our feelings of worry and anxiety are too intense for what is actually going on.

In this week's podcast Julie Schiffman and I talk about how to figure out the root cause of our fear, and how to tap effectively for it.

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Listen to both Kim and Gene in this year's Tapping World Summit.

Supporters of the podcast have access to a bonus interview with Dr. Kim. Become a supporter today to have access the this and all the bonus podcast.

Dr. Kim D'Eramo was frustrated that she wasn't getting the results that she wanted in her medical practice. Then she discovered tapping. Using tapping with her clients made a huge difference, but she still wasn't getting the results she wanted.

Because of this she spent a considerable amount of time thinking about why there were issue that weren't clear and why symptoms where still lingering.

In this interview we talk about the two main reasons why issue don't clear with tapping.

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Guest: Dr. Kim D’Eramo

Contact: web @ DrKimDeramo.com; instagram @drkimderamo; youtube @YouAttractWellness; facebook @DrKimDeramo

About: Kim graduated medical school in 2002 from University of New England College of Osteopathic Medicine, where she also completed a Fellowship in Osteopathic Medicine and Medical Gross Anatomy, as well as an undergraduate Fellowship in Neuroanatomy. She completed her Emergency Medicine residency at Emory University in 2005, and is board certified in Emergency Medicine.

Dr. Kim founded The American Institute of Mind Body Medicine(AIMBM) to train other doctors and health practitioners how to activate the body’s ability to heal itself. Through AIMBM, she conducts live workshops and retreats, and assists clients online internationally.

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In podcast #249 I talked to Rick Hanson about our three basic needs of safety, satisfaction, and connection. Most of the unconscious, subconscious, and conscious actions we make are motivated by one of these three needs.

Tapping can be a powerful tool in helping us to make sure that we meet these needs in a healthy way.

This week in the podcast I share with you how you can first, identify which one of these needs we are trying to meet and second, how to tap for each of these needs (because each need requires a different approach).

If you didn't listen to the interview I did with Rick I would encourage to you to listen to it first before diving into the application.

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When people are looking for long term results with tapping they commonly run into one of two problems. Either they are working on the wrong issue for their desired outcome OR they are only working on a symptom and not the root cause.

If you are making either of these mistakes, chances are that you're not getting as much as you can out of your tapping practice.

New York Times bestselling author Rich Hanson has done a masterful job in breaking down the types of problems in relation to our sense of safety, satisfaction, and connection. He has also developed a clear set of tools which can help us to bring about transformation and healing in each area.

When we know the right issues and we are using the right tool, transformation comes more quickly and is much longer lasting.

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Often times parenting can feel like it is a struggle. As a parent you have a clear idea of what needs to be done over the course of day. There are meals to be served, errands that need to ran, getting the kids to school, and all of the other tasks that fill daily life.

Kids on the other hand don't have the same sense of priority or understanding of what needs to be done.

Because of this it can feel like a struggle to get through the day.

This week I have a conversation with parenting specialist Carrie Contey about how parents can move through the day getting done what they need to get done while still helping the kids to grow in a happy and healthy way.

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Guest: Carrie Contey, Ph.D.

Contact: web @ carricontey.com; email @ hello@carriecontey.com; Instagram @carrieconteyphd

About: Carrie Contey, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized coach, author, speaker and educator. Her work offers a new perspective on human development, parenting and family life. She guides, supports and inspires her clients to live with wide-open and courageous hearts so they can approach family life with skill and spaciousness.

Carrie received her doctorate in clinical psychology with an emphasis on prenatal and perinatal psychology and is masterful at synthesizing and articulating the science, psychology and spirituality of humanhood. She is the creator of Evolve, a year-long "personal growth through parenting" program which ran from 2011-2017. She is also the co-founder of the Slow Family Living movement and the co-author of CALMS: A Guide To Soothing Your Baby.

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One of the best parts about tapping is how easily it can be combined with other tools and modality. Recently, Steve Well has been working use the power of intention combined with tapping to get deeper healing and longer lasting results.

In the case the idea of intention is about the outcome we want (for example "my intention is to be confident speaking in public") but instead holding specific intentions about the healing process.

He calls his new approach Intention-based Energy Process (IEP) or Intention Tapping for short. In the conversation Steve shares how he came to use intention in this way as well as teaching you the entire process.

Note: For the first time since 2013 Steve is running live training in North America. There is a 3 hour workshop on April 4th and three day advanced training April 5th - 7th in Toronto. Here are details

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In this conversation we talk about how tapping can be used to:

Remove the one part that is making it harder
How to find the right part to focus on
How to let go of wrong part to focus
How to deal with extreme nerves - often called the yips in sports

No matter what level or what setting you need to perform in, Tom will how you how to use simple tapping to get the most out each opportunity.

Making mistakes can be frustrating, but it is even more frustrating when it is something that you know you can do, have done before, but in the moment, when it is most important that you get it right that you mess up.

Athletes deal with problem all of the time. There are actions that they can do over and over again in practice, but when they get in to a game setting they mess up.

Often times when we think of the mental game of performance we are only thinking athletic terms, but the same thing can happen with any task we are going to take. The moment the stakes are raised it is easy for the pressure of the moment to get the best of us.

This week in the podcast I have a conversation with performance coach Dr. Tom Hanson. Over the last three decades Tom has worked with countless professional athletes and top level collegiate athletes.

When it comes to performance it doesn't matter if you in a stadium in front of tens of thousands of people or you are making a small presentation to your co-workers, if you are worried about the outcome your nerves can get the best of you.

This also means that the tools and techniques that Tom uses with top level athletes are also going to help us when we need to perform at our best.

In this conversation we talk about how tapping can be used to:

Remove the one part that is making it harder
How to find the right part to focus on
How to let go of wrong part to focus
How to deal with extreme nerves - often called the yips in sports

No matter what level or what setting you need to perform in, Tom will how you how to use simple tapping to get the most out each opportunity.

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I can't imagine not being a thoughtful, kind person in the world. I am glad that at least some of the time I am able to respond to other people's wants, needs, and suffering.

But one of the consequences of being known to be thoughtful is that other people often come for help. In extreme cases, they aren't looking for help, they just want us to solve their problems.

At some point it can become too much and just because someone we love it having a hard time, it doesn't mean we are responsible for solving all their problems.

We can be thoughtful, helpful, and caring without taking on everyone's burdens. In this week's audio I have a story about how I was able to change the dynamics of a relationship where I had let a boundary down to the point that it was making my life difficult.

There is also a tap-along that will make it easier for you to be the kind and thoughtful person that you are without having to take care of every burden of everyone you know. (A printable tapping script can be found below the audio.)

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Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we're going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call "pro-you choices". These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 3 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

For those of us who are of a thoughtful and caring disposition, it is natural to want to care for others.

The problem comes when we spend so much time taking care of everyone else, we don't spend the time and attention that we need to take care of our own needs.

The simple truth is: If we don't put ourselves first, no one else is going to.

This week I have a tap-along audio (with printable tapping script below the audio player) to help to manage the guilt we may feel when we decide to take care of ourselves.

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Note: To get 2019 off on the right foot, we're going to end 2018 and begin the new year with a four-part series on how to make what I call "pro-you choices". These are choices that are all about taking care of yourself. This is Part 2 of 4. You can find all four parts in the Pro-You Choices Series.

I find that "I don't know!" is one of the hardest phrases to say.

When I say it, it is easy for me to feel disempowered, incompetent, and less than.

In a recent interview, actor and director John Krasinski talked about how the most powerful thing you can say is that you don't know.

It is an interesting idea. When we are able to acknowledge that we don't fully understand what we are supposed to do or how to do it, we are actually putting ourselves in a place of power. Our honesty means we can make the best possible choice, without fooling others or ourselves.

This week I have a tap-along audio (with printable script below the player) that will help you to be comfortable with not knowing.

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The holiday season is crazy...There are so many things going on...There are so many invitations that I have received..There's a part of me that feels like I have to say yes to all of it...There's a part of me that feels as if I'm letting other people down if I don't go...There is a part of me that feels like I am missing out if I don't say yes...I recognize the fact it is OK for me to say no...I recognize the fact it is OK for me to turn something down...If I say no...I'm not making a judgment about the thing I'm saying no to...I'm simply saying it's not a good fit for me in the midst of all of this...The reality is that if I don't go to something, most people won't notice...The reality is most people won't care...Some people will even be jealous at my courage in saying no...It is OK for me to say no...It is possible that some people might get bent out of shape if I say no...It is possible that some people will be frustrated if I say no...I am not responsible for their emotional state...I'm not responsible for how they feel about my choice...If they want to be bent out of shape because I said no to an invitation...They're allowed to do that...That is their choice...I am not responsible for that...I give myself permission to take care of myself...I give myself permission to be thoughtful about what I say yes to...I give myself permission to look at the whole season and make good healthy decisions based on my needs...If I don't put myself first, no one else is going to...If I don't take care of myself, no one else is going to...I give myself permission to make healthy choices...Saying no to an invitation is a great way for me to take care of myself...I don't have to feel guilty about saying no...I don't have to explain why I'm saying no...I am simply taking care of myself...I am worthy of taking care of myself.

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The month of December is a super busy time of year. There are work parties, holiday parties, meals with friends, family obligations, performances, recitals...the list goes on and on.

In a vacuum, going to any one of these events is fine, but when they stack up on top of each other they can just become too much.

Actor and comedian John Hodgman wrote last week in his newsletter:

ALL SOCIAL PLANS ARE OPTIONAL. Especially HOLIDAY PARTIES. Everyone will understand if you can't make it. They probably won't even notice you're not there (sorry, narcissists!).

And if it's a one-on-one thing, that's OK too. Your friend will forgive you if you cancel. They will probably be relieved, too.

There is a part of you that knows this, and there is a part of you that feels like you are failing if you follow through and actually do this. Â

This week I have a tap-along audio (with script below the player) that will help you to give yourself permission to say "no" to at least one invitation so that you are happier and healthier this holiday season.

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Sometimes we make choices that hurt others. Sometimes our emotions get the better of us, or we act thoughtlessly and cause someone else pain.

Either way, it's easy to beat ourselves up for the pain we have caused. Even when we apologize and do what we can to make amends, we may still feel bad.

This week's podcast covers how to tap for those times when we have unintentionally hurt others with our words or actions. We tap for feeling bad because we have caused someone else pain, for feeling like a failure because of the mistakes we have made, and to create space to learn from the experience so that we make better choices in the future.

I have also included a printable version of the tapping script below the audio player.

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Tapping is great because it can be used on so many different issues, both physical and emotional. It works for issue from the past and worries about the future.

Because the tool is so flexible, sometimes it is hard to know just where to start. You want to get the most out of your tapping and you don't want to waste your effort. When we are worried that we are going to do something wrong, such as picking the issue to tap on, it's easy for us not to take action at all.

This week's podcast will teach you three ways to tap when you don't know where to start.

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Note: This is Part 4 of 5 in the Most Commonly Asked Questions series. Make sure you check out all 5 parts.

Often our harshest critic is the one living inside our own head.

It points out everything we are doing wrong, all the expectations we are not living up to, and how we are destined to fail in the future.

As hard as it is to believe, our critical voice exists because it's supposed to help us! By pointing out what we have done wrong in the past, it wants us to act differently in the future. The problem is that it doesn't work out that way. Instead it just beats us and makes us feel bad.

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Gratitude and thanksgiving are powerful tools in helping us to be present in the moment and to help us to be even more aware of the blessings we have.

But giving thanks isn't always the easiest of tasks because our lives aren't perfect. There is pain, struggle, and disappointment.

This week I have a tap-along audio (and script below the player) to help us to be more thankful without being pollyannaish about the realities of our lives.

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It's not always easy to give thanks...Because I live in a world that is far from perfect...I encounter burden and struggle...Things don't always go as planned...I experience pain in my life...And when I feel pain...When I don't have what I want or need...It can be difficult for me to give thanks...It can be difficult for me to feel appreciation...But when I give thanks, I'm not denying the reality of my circumstance...When I give thanks, I'm not saying everything is perfect...Giving thanks does not mean I'm giving up on my efforts to improve my life...Giving thanks simply means I can look honestly at what is going on...There are things that I can be grateful for...There are things that I can appreciate...I give thanks for the good things in my life...I give thanks for the positive relationships in my life...I give thanks for this opportunity to take time today...And as I continue to move forward...I appreciate this day...I appreciate what is in front of me...I appreciate being able to move forward...I give myself permission to give thanks...I give myself permission to be fully in this moment...I give thanks.

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Note: This is Part 3 of 5 in the Most Commonly Asked Questions series. Make sure you check out all 5 parts.

Attempting to tame clutter can feel like an overwhelming task. There have been times when I've spent hours trying to clean up... I work and work and work, but somehow it doesn't feel like I am getting anywhere.

When clutter persists and you just can't seem to get a handle on it, it's usually because there is an emotional issue underlying your resistance to cleaning up.

This week I share with you a simple process that you can do to start getting rid of your clutter. The process will help you to uncover the underlying emotional resistance AND it will show you how to tap to resolve it.

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Note: This is Part 2 of 5 in the Most Commonly Asked Questions series. Make sure you check out all 5 parts.

It can often feel like we are dealing with the same issues over and over again and when that happens, it can feel like tapping is just a giant waste of time. Our reasoning tells us that if tapping was working, the issue would be taken care of.

There are three main reasons behind why it can feel like we aren't making any progress with our tapping. This week I explore these reasons and what we can do to recognize the true progress we are making.

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When someone joins my mailing list, one of the two questions I ask them is, "What is the biggest issue you have when it comes to tapping?"

When I started asking this question I expected to receive lots of answers about specific topics or issues that are particularly hard to deal with. I do get a lot of these types of responses, but a good 25% of the responses say something along the lines of, "I know tapping works, but I just don't do it."

This week I have for you three simple steps you can take that will transform tapping from this thing you beat yourself up for not doing, into something you reach for every day. (Full transcript of the audio can be found below the player.)

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One of the main reasons that people say they don't tap is because of the belief that tapping is not going to work. This is a reasonable concern. Tapping is weird. It seems unreasonable that tapping on our body would be able to provide healing and relief.

When I have encountered this resistance in the past I have asked the person who doesn't believe in tapping if they would be willing to tap on the fact that they don't believe it is going to work.

A funny thing happens...they are willing to tap on their disbelief in tapping.

You will notice in the first paragraph above I wrote "the reason that people say". I used the word say very deliberately. Sometimes people don't tap because they don't believe it will work and sometimes they say that as a mask for the real reason they don't tap.

This week we explore why you don't tap and how to tap for not tapping. (Trust me it will make sense and it will work.)

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Recently I have been asked by a number of my clients about what type of daily tapping I do.

My own tapping falls into three main categories:

The first is a practical approach where I do some tapping for every task on my to-do list. I covered this process back in Bonus Pod #46

Second, when I have a clear idea of the exact issue, emotion, or limiting belief I'm experiencing, I use one of the 13 tools that can be found in Advanced Anger Management. As I have stated before, the book isn't really about anger, but working towards good emotional health. Download a free copy via the link above.

Third, every morning, right after I have made my first cup of coffee, I spend some time tapping using the Set-Up Phrase Generator. The Set-Up Phrase Generator is a little piece of software that you can access free of charge from any web browser.

Access the Set-Up Phrase Generator here: http://EFTSetupPhraseGenerator.com/

BUT before you do that, listen to this week's audio where I explain how it works, why I use it and hear me tap in real time, and then you will be ready to use it most effectively for your issues.

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I recognize the fact that some of the issues I am facing are related to issues that generations before me have faced...And because these issues have been around for so long...There's a part of me that is identifying with this problem...There's a part of my family that's taken its identity in this problem...I am worried that if I take the time to truly heal this...I will disconnect myself from my family...And I'm going to say I'm better than my family...That I'm going to be leaving them and this identity behind...Because they are stuck in this and I no longer am...But I choose to recognize the fact that healing my wounds does not disconnect me from my family...Many who have come before me have worked hard to give me a chance at a better life...So I don't have to stay in this place...Healing these issues is not disrespecting my family...Healing these issues is doing honor to my family...I'm acknowledging what they have done to put me in this position...To do this healing today...I recognize the fact that this healing isn't only about me...It's also about all those who came before me...I choose to take this opportunity to pass this healing back and share it over the generations...I recognize the fact that this is an opportunity for me to heal myself...I recognize this is an opportunity to share that healing with others... My healing is an opportunity to share with all those who came before me.

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Back in podcast 292 I chatted with Mark Wolynn about how we are starting to recognize the way that trauma can be passed on from one generation to the next through our genes.

Recognizing that some of our issues have nothing to do with our own experience is useful because it offers us a new way to approach the work we are doing with tapping. In addition to the genetic component of trauma, our emotional understanding of our issues is also influenced by the generations before us.

I have seen this time and again with my clients where they feel it is unsafer for them to heal these family patterns. The thinking goes like this: the trauma we are feeling unites our family and if we choose to heal this trauma, then we are abandoning our family. Healing our trauma means risking breaking an important family connection.

This week we look at how we understand generational trauma and the sense of family connection it creates, helping us to recognize when we are sabotaging our healing.

I have also included a tap-along audio that will help you to recognize that it's possible to heal these generational issues AND do honor to your family.

As always, there is a printable version of the tapping script below the audio player.

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It makes sense that we would feel grief and sadness after the death of a loved one.

But this is not the only time that we experience grief. The emotion of grief is our system telling us that we are missing or disconnected from something or someone that is important to us.

This could be the end of a relationship, a missed opportunity, or when we realize that we have wasted valuable time by not acting sooner. These experiences create genuine grief, but because our definition of grief may be too narrow, we can miss the opportunity to tap for it.

An emotion that goes unaddressed can simmer beneath the surface and cause us problems later on in life.

This week we are going to tap for the shades of grief we experience that aren't related to death and dying. As always, below the audio player is a script that you can print out and use anywhere.

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Recently I was talking with one of my clients. She has been doing an amazing amount of transformational work in her life. Personally, professionally, and emotionally everything was better, but she was struggling.

The basic thrust of our conversation was "I know everything in my life is getting better, so why do I feel worse?"

On the surface this might seem like an odd situation, but it happens a lot more than you would think.

Much of it comes down to the fact that there are different types of problems and not all of those problems are created equally. We always start with the most pressing problem first. For example, if you think terms of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we will worry about food and shelter before we worry about living a life of purpose or a fulfilling career.

The same is true when we are dealing with our emotional life. We start with the most pressing needs, such as feeling safe in the world, and then we move on to higher level needs, such as issues of self-esteem and self-worth.

As we move up the levels of needs, the more abstract the problems become. There are practical steps towards the basic need of trying to make myself feel safe, whereas the path to loving and accepting myself is less clear.

Because this is the case, as we move up (as in my client's case where her life is getting better), the issues become more abstract and we have less control, so it can feel like things are getting worse.

This week I have for you a deeper dive into these concepts, which will make it easier for you to recognize when you are experiencing this in your own life. I have also included a tap-along to help you to move through the feeling that your life is getting worse, when in truth it is improving.

As always, I have included a printable tapping script below the audio player.

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Jealousy is such corrosive emotion.

It makes us think ill of others. It makes us feel bad for ourselves. I don't know about you, but it leads me to make poor and rash decisions.

The worst part of jealousy is feeling the emotion about someone else, but having to deal with its negative consequences.

Recently, I was at a professional training event and was so overcome with jealousy of the person presenting on stage that I could barely think straight.

I was able to do some tapping in the moment to clear my head, but I realized that it was a big enough issue that I needed to deal with it in a deeper way. Over the next few weeks I spent some time every single day tapping for jealousy and all the other feelings around it.

This week's tap-along audio is one of those tapping sessions, with the tapping script also available in a text version.

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One of the reasons that the human species survives is because of our innate ability to learn. Every time we experience something new, we have the opportunity to learn how the world works and how our fellow humans react to a certain set of circumstances.

With each new experience, we are able to make subconscious comparisons with prior experiences. New information means we are able to update our understanding of ourselves and of the world we inhabit.

There are two problems with the way that we learn. First, we sometimes learn the wrong lesson. Because we may not fully understand a situation, we draw inaccurate conclusions. Second, at times we are presented with new information that conflicts with our old lessons and beliefs, so we choose (consciously or unconsciously) to ignore the new information.

This conflict means that sometimes not only do we not accept new information about ourselves and the world, but it actually gets in the way of our transformation.

In this week's podcast I share with you:

How we build our understanding of who we are and how the world works
The pitfalls that this creates in the moment as we take action
How this slows or halts our ability to heal
How you can tap with this knowledge so you are no longer hindering your progress

Below the audio player I have included a tapping script for the tapping that we do at the end of the audio. I encourage you to listen to the full audio before tapping to the script because an understanding of the context for the tapping will make the tapping itself more powerful.

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Sometimes I feel like I'm alone...The people around me don't understand the work that I'm doing...They do not understand the healing tools that I'm using...To transform and heal myself...Some of them are not interested in change at all...When I am surrounded by people who do not care...It's easy to lose my motivation...Because I feel like I'm alone...I feel like no one understands me...I feel like I'm the only one who cares...But even if I'm in a situation where the people closest to me don't care...I know that I am not alone...There are people all over the world working to heal and transform themselves...There are people all over the world trying to make the world a better place for themselves and for others...Thousands of others are tapping along to these exact same words...Thousands of people are looking for a similar type of transformation...Even if I don't know them personally...We are on this journey together...The effort that they are putting in to make the world a better place is also impacting my world...My tapping and energy is impacting their lives as well...Even when I feel alone...I know that I'm not alone on this journey...I give myself permission to keep putting forth the effort...And I choose to keep trying...Knowing that there are others who want me to be successful...Even if I don't know them personally...Each small amount of effort that I put in contributes to the greater good...I trust that my efforts are useful...And I know that I'm not alone in this work of transformation and healing.

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It can be difficult to remain focused on doing the work to improve your life. Sometimes you are pushing forward without seeing any progress. Sometimes the goal seem so far away that it is impossible. AND sometimes we just feel alone on the journey.

When we are trying to improve our lives it's common to feel that the people around us are unwilling to do the same, and may even be resistant to the fact that we are changing and growing our own. This can make the work of transformation to feel lonely.

This week I have words of encouragement to keep you going, even when you feel alone. Because the truth is you are not alone. It might feel like it, but there are many thousands of people who are on healing journeys, just like you.

This week we tap to know that we aren't alone AND that the work we are doing in our own lives makes it easier for others, and the work others are doing is clearing a path for us.

(Below the audio player you will also find a text version of the tapping script.)

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This is Part 7 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we have been tapping for a specific emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

Being successful is hard enough. It becomes even harder when we are worried about others judging our success.

Others may judge our dreams as being foolish. They may be jealous when they see us chasing our dreams and being successful. They may even feel that we are judging them because they aren't experiencing the same success as we are enjoying.

Worrying about these types of judgments makes us less likely to take action because being judged isn't any fun.

In this week's tap-along (with a printable tapping script below audio player) we tap for taking action in spite of what others might think of our success.

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This is Part 6 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

One of the difficulties with being successful is that success is not an all-or-nothing proposition. Success usually comes in stages as part of a process. When we are doing the work and taking action we are often too close to what is going on to see the progress we are making.

This can be discouraging and slow down our progress because it doesn't feel like the effort we are putting in is paying off.

This week's tap-along audio (and printable script below the player) will help you to recognize the progress you are making and to regain your momentum.

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This is Part 5 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

There is a part of us that wants to everything in exactly the right order, and that's because there are times in which the order we do tasks really matters, such as when baking a cake.

But for most tasks or projects, there isn't an exact right order. There may be an overarching plan that needs to be followed, but it doesn't have to be done in exact steps.

This concern about the right order of tasks can be a stumbling block to taking action because on some level we are worried about wasting energy and having to redo actions because we did them in the wrong order.

This tap-along audio (with printable tapping script) will help you to trust the order in which you think you need to act, as well as helping you to get comfortable with the idea that taking actions one at a time will add up to success and that success isn't dependent on any one thing.

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This is Part 4 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

There are times when we have a clear vision of what we wish to do, but we are held back by our emotions. This part of us may be worried that our vision isn't right for us, that others don't believe in our vision, or we are mistrustful of our own inner guidance.

This tap-along audio (with a printable tapping script below) will help you to trust in your inner guidance, trust your vision, and help you to take action even when those around you just don't get it.

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This is Part 3 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate Â self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

When we are faced with doing something that we don't know how to do or that we don't have a great of experience with it is common that we won't take the action we what.

This is because there is a part of us that want to protect us from failure AND when we don't know how to do something failure is much more likely.

This tap-along audio (and script below) will help you to take action when you are feeling dumb, struggling because you don't know where to start, and that others will judge you because you don't know what action to take.

Tapping to this will make it easier for you to trust yourself when you don't feel comfortable or competent with the tasks in front of you.

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This is Part 2 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Allowing distractions, such as email or social media notifications, is one of the easiest ways to be unproductive. Distractions also come in the form of unruly thoughts rattling around in our heads. This tap-along audio (with a full printable script below the audio player) will help to calm your mind before you begin working, helping you to stay focused.

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This is part 1 of the 7 part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

It is difficult to take action when we don't have a clear vision for exactly what we want. When we are unclear we have to deal with both practical and emotional blocks to taking action.

On a practical level it is difficult to take action where we don't know what because we aren't exactly sure what is the best action. A clear vision create a tangible goal, which leads to concrete steps to take and the order to take them. Without that we can struggle to know what the best most constructive actions are.

On a subconscious level we prevent ourselves from taking action as a way of saving energy and effort. When we don't have a clear vision the subconscious worries that we might choose to take a action that isn't useful. It see that we don't know exactly what we want and know that any action we take is just a guess as to if it is a useful action. Therefore the subconscious prevents us from taking any action as way of making sure we don't to the wrong action.

In this week's tap-along audio (and tapping script found below) we tap for being able to take action when we don't know exactly what we are moving towards.

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Betrayal is unlike other emotions because it creates problems beyond the immediate pain we feel when we realize we have been betrayed. Betrayal also sows seeds of doubt at a subconscious level, which can create lasting physical and emotional problems.

This week I have a conversation with Dr. Debi Silber who has dedicated her research and work to understanding how betrayal impacts us physically and emotionally. More importantly, she has also developed a process (Post Betrayal Transformation) to help heal those wounds.

In this conversation we discuss the conditions required for betrayal to happen, how it impacts us, and the first steps towards healing.

During the interview Debi refers to a short quiz that you can take to see if you are being impacted by a past betrayal. You can take the quiz here.

Guest: Dr. Debi Silber

Contact: web @ PBTInstitute.com

About: Dr. Debi Silber, founder of PBT Institute is a Transformational Psychologist, and a health, mindset, empowerment and personal development expert. She is also a speaker, a coach and the author of the Amazon #1 Bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis.

Debi has contributed to FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz show, TEDx, The Huffington Post, Shape, Self, Health, Working Mother, Forbes, Psychology Today, WebMD, Yahoo Shine, Ladies Home Journal, MSN, Woman's World and Glamour.

Her doctoral study led to two discoveries around how women experience and heal from betrayal. Based on her findings, along with 27 years of health, mindset and lifestyle coaching, she has created a multi-faceted approach to help women heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis

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I often hear from frustrated clients because they have tapped for an issue, but they haven't made any progress. When this happens they question whether tapping can help.

The reality is that in many of these cases the issue isn’t whether tapping will work, but instead what is the best way to tap for an issue.

This week I have for you a simple four-step process to ensure you are tapping in the most effective way to get to the root cause of an issue.

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(For me) one of the hardest feeling is the feeling of being an outsider. When you are standing in a room full up people and you just don't feel like you belong. In side of your head your mind is spinning as you are imagining what all the other people in the room are thinking about you.

AND none of it is good!

In most cases, almost everyone is more worried about other think of them than they are thinking of you.

Last weekend I found myself feeling exact this way. Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script for when you find yourself in the same situation.

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I feel like an outsider...I feel like nobody gets me...Even if there was the time and space to explain myself they still wouldn't understand...Or they wouldn't accept me...Or they would say I wouldn't belong...It is painful being in a situation when I am surrounded by people and feel completely alone...When I sense a connection in the room that I'm not a part of...It feels like there is no entry point...Where I feel like my presence is burden to others...The only thing to do is to try to escape...I recognize the fact my emotions are working way too hard...I recognize the fact that I do have common ground...There are connections that I can make...I don't always have to feel like I'm on the outside...Even if they don't fully understand me...I do have something to offer...There are ways that we can connect...Even if I am not totally at home I can find connection...I can find community...I can be accepted for who I am...Without having to prove myself...I am valuable...I have something to offer...I can connect in a true human way...I am not as long as I feel...I do not have to fear...I can be completely who I am...I can connect it...Even though it feels scary to be vulnerable...Even though it feels overwhelming to be who I am...Even when it feels like I have nothing to offer...Or that they will never understand...I give myself permission to trust myself...I give myself permission to trust others...I give myself permission to believe in human connection...Knowing that I can create space is where I feel at home...My fear of judgement is trying to keep me safe...My fear of judgement is working way too hard...This does not mean I become careless...This does not mean I become reckless...This does not mean I become a completely unguarded...Trusting myself and trusting others does not mean I'm letting all of my barriers down...I can be more open and connect more while still keeping myself safe...While still keeping myself healthy...I give myself permission to trust myself...I give myself permission to trust others...I give myself permission to know that I am acceptable...I give myself permission to know that I am lovable. Lovable in big and small ways.

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It can difficult when we see our loved ones making choices that aren't serving them. Because we have distance on the situation we are able to see the bigger picture in that way that they can't.

What can be even more difficult is the fact that they aren't able to hear us (and hear our advice) because they are so deep in the weeds with the issue there is nothing we can say that they are going to hear.

This week I have for you a simple process that you can tap to when wanting better for someone in your life. It is a process that is going to change them. They are responsible for their own change, but what it can do is create the space which will allow them to see the situation more clearly and allow them to make new choices.

Not only do I have the simple step by step to do this process in the audio, but I have also included a link where you can download this process and 13 other tools for free.

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Sometimes I put off tapping because I don't feel I have enough time for an in-depth tapping session. But often you don't need much time to make a huge difference to how you are feeling.

Recently I had a small physical issue that was more of an inconvenience than the cause of any great pain. I never thought to tap for it because it was so small.

Eventually I got around to tapping for it, which was really effective and I couldn’t believe I’d waited so long! Here’s the simple three-step process I used. Give it a try!

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Many of our beliefs are held at a subconscious level and some of them do not serve us well. They may be inaccurate in the way we describe ourselves, our relationships, and the world and this inaccuracy causes us problems in daily life because subconsciously we believe them to be true.

Once we identify these beliefs we can then use tapping to transform them into a clearer reflection of the way the world works.

Beliefs that have been passed on to us by our loved ones are particularly hard to change. This is because part of us fears that if we let go of the belief, we will also be letting go of the person who gave it to us.

Logically we know this isn't the case, but because this perception exists at a subconscious level it can slow or even halt our progress.

This week I have a simple process you can use to transform the beliefs that have been passed on by others, with a tap-along section at the end.

In the audio I also share with you how you can get a free written version of this tool, the tapping script, and 13 other great tapping tools.

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For some reason, certain situations and certain people just push our buttons, despite knowing logically that our response is irrational and shouldn't elicit as much emotion as we feel.

In this week's podcast I share with you a simple 7-step process you can use when you are having your buttons pushed.

In the audio I also share with you how you can get a free printed version of this tool (and 13 others).

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Our relationships are living, breathing organisms, alive with the constant dynamic of give and take. At times there is a lot more give than take. This can affect our feelings about the relationship, about the other person in the relationship, and can even have a detrimental effect on our other relationships

At this year's Spring Energy Event, held just outside NYC, I shared how our relationships impact us and 5 simple tools you can use to cultivate healthier, stronger relationships. This podcast is a recording of my 35 minute presentation.

We would love to see you at next year's event. You can sign up to receive recordings from past events and information about next year's SpringEnergyEvent.com.

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In last week's podcast I talked about (and shared the scientific evidence) as to why it can be useful to swear while tapping. Even if we accept that swearing is useful, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are comfortable doing it.

When I say uncomfortable I don't mean in terms of using swear words. Instead, we may feel bad because we are angry at all. Anger feels like such a strong and primitive emotion that we may believe that we should be above it and feeling angry represents some sort of personal failing.

Feeling angry from time to time is both natural and healthy. This week we are going to tap for being OK with the fact that we sometimes feel anger. (As always, the full tapping script can be found below the audio player.)

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Did you know that swearing is good for you?

And I don't mean just swearing for the sake of it, but there are a number of contexts in which scientific research has shown it is actually good for you. It can help to manage pain, build comradery, and release stress.

It can also be a powerful tool in helping you to tune into your emotions while tapping. Recently Emma Byrne combined her own research into the power of using curse words with the large body of other research on the same subject into a new book Swearing Is Good for You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language.

I have taken all of the pertinent information as it relates to tapping and have included it in this week’s podcast. I explain why swearing is good for you and how you can get the most out of tapping by swearing while you tap.

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Swearing Is Good for You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language

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One of the situations that my clients struggle with the most is dealing with the expectations of their loved ones.

Our loved ones want what is best for us, but they want what is best of us in terms of what they think will make us happy. Often what they think will make us happy and what will actually make us happy are totally different.

Difficulties arise when going against the expectations of our loved ones feels like a violation of the relationship and the trust inside it. When we fear hurting people in this way, either we do what they want OR we don't follow through on what we want, and remain stuck.

This means that we fail to move forward AND we can end up feeling resentful towards the people we love for holding us back.

This week I have a simple tap-along that will help you to respect and honor what others want while also being able to make the choices that are right for you based on what you want or need.

The full tapping script can be found below the player.

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I recognize that the people in my life want what's best for me...They want me to be successful, happy and healthy...Based on their experience they have a clear definition of what happy is...Since it is their definition of happiness...In their minds it must be everyone's definition of happiness...Therefore their expectation is for me to live up to that definition...I want to be happy too...But I recognize the fact that my definition of happiness and their definition of happiness are not the same...I can appreciate that they want what's best for me...I can embrace their desire for me to be happy...I can do this in such a way where I don't have to adopt their definition of happiness...I do not have to live up to their expectations...I don't have to pick up their specific desires for my life...I can accept that they want what's best for me...Without having to accept their definition of what is best for me.

I also recognize the fact that there are times where I assume others have expectations of me...I assume there is a specific definition about my life...These expectations impact me...But just because I believe expectations are there...Doesn't actually mean these expectations exist...There are going to be times in which I fabricate those expectations inside my own head...I give myself permission to let go of received expectations...Knowing it is possible for me to live the life that I want...Without those expectations.

Sometimes there are really clear expectations others have for me...These expectations are stated in subtle and obvious ways...There are times in which there is nothing I can do to live up to their expectations...Even if I tried to live up to those expectations every moment of the day...There are people in my life who will never be satisfied...And since they're never going to be satisfied...I might as well live the life that I want to live...It does me no good to be dissatisfied with my life...And to have them be dissatisfied with my choices...If they are going to be unhappy with unfulfilled expectations...I might as well live the life that I want...Because my choices will not impact their happiness...Therefore I need to make the choices that are best for me.

I give myself permission to know that the only thing that matters...Is how I perceive my life...Is how my choices resonate with me...About who I am creating myself to be...About whether or not I am satisfied with that...I know my choices impact others...I know there are people who have strong beliefs about how I should live...I know others have invested in me helping me create the life that I have...I have to take responsibility for my life...I have to take responsibility for myself...I give myself permission to know I'm allowed to live up to my expectations and not anyone else's...And that will serve me in the short term and will serve me in the long term.

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We all know that tapping is a powerful tool when we are in pain, distress, and discomfort. Did you know it can also be a useful tool when we are celebrating success?

The reason for this is because it is common to feel a number of negative emotions at the exact same time as feeling happy and successful. It is possible to feel:

That we are not worthy of success
Uncomfortable in the spotlight of attention that success can bring
Under pressure to always be successful
Anxious that our success was just down to luck and people will find out that we are an imposter
That it’s greedy or immodest to crave success and we should keep our head down and work harder

If any of these feelings are present, when we feel successful we will subconsciously want to avoid success in the future.

Here is a simple tap-along audio that will help you get comfortable with feeling successful and allow for more success in future. A full tapping script of the audio can be found below the player.

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I recognize the fact that I don't know the obvious path forward...I'm not exactly sure what the next step is...I know what I want in a big picture way...It seems so far away that it feels impossible...It seems so distant that it is almost unreal...Because of that I'm not taking any action...Because on a subconscious level I understand since I don't know where I'm heading next...The action I take might be a waste of time...It might be a waste of energy...Because it might be in the wrong direction...It is true this action might not be the next best step...It is true this next action might not work out...I believe that if I start heading in the right direction...Even if it's not exactly the right direction...I'm going to be moving forward in a way that is going to make the next action more obvious...It will make the next step more productive...Success is the accumulation of many small steps...There is no such thing as an overnight success...The small consistent actions heading towards true north will eventually lead me the right way...They might not lead me to exactly what I'm heading towards...But they will lead me to a place that is better...They're going to lead me to a richer life...They are going to lead me towards fulfillment...I give myself permission to take that next step...Action creates more action...Momentum creates momentum...Me doing nothing is the fastest way to not achieving my goals...I would rather take an uncertain step...Than stay stuck here...Uncertain steps become confident steps...Confident steps become a path...A path becomes a journey...And a journey leads to fulfillment...It's OK that I am scared...It's OK that I'm overwhelmed...It's OK that I don't know what is next...Making progress comes from taking action...I trust myself in this process to move in the right direction.

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Recently I was listening to the actor and comedian Dan Van Kirk being interviewed on Kevin Pollak's Chat Show podcast. Dan told the story of his career path, moving from rural Illinois to LA, then to Chicago, and finally back to LA where he ultimately found success.

Dan described the choices he made early in his career and why he made them:

I have this thing, if it's not true north, get the arrow going that direction as much as you can. Conan O'Brien was on Charlie Rose...and he said "Identify the thing you want to do with your life and go to the place they make that, whether it is crayons or kool aid. It doesn't matter. When you get there, do whatever you can to be around that, whether that is making coffee or taking out the trash." Because he just believed in the proximity to molecules. And if you’re a good person and you work and you can get the arrow in the direction of north as much as possible, it's gonna work out. There is nothing that is going to say you’re going to get to be on stage at the Golden Globes, but you probably won't hate your life either."

I love the idea that if there isn't an obvious path to your goal, find the path to the place that is closest to your goal and follow it.

The problem is that taking action in the direction of something that isn't our goal and isn't certain can be scary.

This week I have a tap-along to help you to take action in the direction of your goal, even when you aren't sure it is the right step.

You can find the full tapping script below the audio player.

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Sharing EFT/Tapping with our loved ones can be a difficult task, mostly because it is kind of weird.

Talking about tapping in a way that others will listen to is a skill. This week I have a conversation with someone who has mastered this conversation.

Robin Bilazarian is a licensed mental health professional who has been tapping with her clients for over 20 years. In addition to her private practice she currently works 20 hours a week serving the staff of an urban hospital. Because of the challenging nature of the work, the staff are required to see one of the mental health professionals.

That means Robin works regularly with people who have NOT come to her because she is a tapping practitioner. In fact most of her clients at the hospital have never heard of tapping before walking into her office.

In our conversation Robin and I talk about the best ways to share tapping. If you are interested in sharing the good word of tapping with others, this podcast is a must listen.

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Guest: Robin Bilazarian

Contact: web at RobinEFT.net

About Robin: Robin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker(LCSW), a Diplomat of Clinical Social Work ((DCSW), a Diplomate of Energy Psychology (DCEP) and an AAMET International EFT Trainer. She obtained her BA from The University of Massachusetts and her MSW from the University of Pennsylvania and University of North Carolina/Chapel Hill Schools of Social Work. Her internships were at Duke University Psychiatric Outpatient Clinic and Philadelphia State Hospital.

Robin has years of experience in working with all aspects of mental health, family and EAP counseling. She is a psychotherapist in private practice and with an EAP in a regional trauma hospital. For the past 10 years she has been passionate about running workshops to share the knowledge obtained from a productive career in counseling others.

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As much as we would like to share tapping with our friends and family, it is not something that we can share with young children.

Young children do not have the focus and ability to tap, and infants are clearly unable.

This does not mean that they can't benefit from tapping because it is possible for us to tap on their behalf, which is known as “surrogate tapping”.

In this conversation Dawn Pensack and I talk about the fundamentals of surrogate tapping and best ways to do it for the children in our lives.

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Guest: Dawn Pensack

Contact: web @ DawnPensack.com; facebook @ DawnPensackEFT/

About Dawn: Dawn combined her years of working with children as a math teacher, her strong desire to bring happiness to families, and her love of spreading emotional management into a wellness business that helps her fulfill her true purpose on a daily basis. Dawn works with parents who are struggling to have it all – a life, a career or business, and a family in the midst of a chaotic world. She reminds her clients that while it may not be easy, it’s possible to be the parent you want to be with the right tools and support.

She teaches her clients that you have to first love yourself and each other before you can have happy, healthy kids. To create the family of your dreams, you have to light the fire with inner peace and sustain it with the kindling of peaceful parenting. Her step-by-step method is research based and proven to work, and the support that she offers makes implementing feel possible.

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In our modern world it is so easy to become disconnected from our bodies, especially as most of us spend our days seated at desks, rather than engaged in any kind of physical labor.

When we take the time to tune into our bodies, we can access a wealth information that we can use to improve our health and wellbeing.

In this conversation Deborah Miller and I talk about how we can better tune into our physical bodies, how to interpret physical sensations, and then how to respond with tapping to this information to become healthier and happier.

Everything we share is easy to understand and simple to implement, so you can feel better right away.

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Where is the pain located? Be as specific as possible when describing the location. For example don’t write "my right knee" but "on the front of my right knee on the knee cap." The more specific the better.
What type of pain is it? Is it dull, sharp, achy, pulsing, itchy, or hot? The more detailed the description the better.
What is the Subject Unit of Distress lever? This is a rating from 0–10 of the pain. 0 is no pain at all and 10 is the worst pain you have ever felt. Don’t get too hung up on coming up with exactly the right number.
What is the 3D shape of the pain? Is it flat on the surface of the skin, does it feel like a ball of pain, is it a long strip of tightness that runs the length of the muscle, or does it have a round center with tentacles of pain spreading out in all directions? Again, the more detail you can provide the better.
Is there an epicenter to the pain and where is it located? Is the pain evenly distributed? Does it have more than one center with the rest fanning out?
How much does the pain weigh? If you were to guess and pretend that you could hold the pain in your hand, how much would it weigh? You don’t need to know exact pounds, but does it weigh as much as a grapefruit, a steel rod, or is it as light as a feather?
If you were to paint a picture of the pain to show to someone else what color or colors would you use? Be specific. Don’t just write red. Is it fire truck red or rust red? Is it red in the middle and fading to light blues as you get to edge of the pain? Describe the color in as much detail as possible.
If you were to make a model of this pain what material would you use to make it? Would it be a ball of hard rubber, burning lava, metal wire, or does it feel like a mass of cotton candy?
Image a little cartoon face on the front of the pain. If it could talk, what would it say? It might say something specific, it might scream in pain, or it might just stick its tongue out at you. Give it a voice and what would it say?
What does the pain remind you of? Just write the first thing that comes to mind. It could be a person, a place, or a situation.
What emotion is associated with the pain? Again, don’t give this a lot of thought, just the first thing that comes to mind.
What memory is associated with the pain? There may not be one, but when you read that question, what is the first thing that came to mind?
Is the pain associated with someone? Don’t think about this too much, but who comes to mind and why?
What does the pain need? Does it need to be heard? Does it need you to do something? Just ask the pain, what does it need, and write the answer down.
What does the pain want you to learn? It might not want you to learn anything, but ask the pain what it needs.

Guest: Deborah D. Miller PhD

Contact Deborah: website and Tapping Guides @ DeborahMiller.org

About Deborah: Deborah D. Miller, Ph.D. in Cell and Molecular Biology is passionate about helping people feel empowered and capable of maintaining a healthy state of mind and body.

Deborah is an EFT Expert and Trainer, Deeksha Giver, Reiki Master, Nutritional Guide, Personal Motivation Guide and internationally recognized author. She understands the necessity of working with the emotional aspects underlying ‘dis-ease’ within the body and the need to cleanse and nourish the physical body. Her personal journey of improving her own immune system gives her hands-on experience of the requirements for improving one’s energy levels and health.

Deborah volunteers at a children’s cancer wing in Oaxaca, Mexico, applying EFT and energy techniques to the children, parents and nurses helping them reduce stress, fear and anxiety while improving their mental and emotional health in a way that is complementary to the treatments given at the hospital.

Helping these children has led Deborah to a heart-felt, passionate and inspired goal. She is dedicating herself to helping at least 1,000,000 men, women and children prevent future illness (mental, emotional or physical) using the simplest, easiest and most economical methods. Tap, eat and drink your way to health!

Deborah is the author of the beautifully illustrated book "Tap It ... ALL Better Now!", (English: book | kindle; Español: libro | Kindle en Español; Français: livre) which is dedicated to empowering parents and children facing the challenge of a serious illness in a way that provides relief and peace, and “Green Drink Red Drink”, which provides information and recipes on how to add healthy greens to your meals.

Deborah has been a guest on the Tapping Q&A Podcast a number of times. Make sure you check out her past appearances.

Tap It ... ALL Better Now!: True Stories of Children and Parents Dealing with Cancer and their Path to Health Using Tapping

El Dragón con Llamas de Amor: Tapping para Niños (Spanish Edition)

Le Dragon aux Flammes d'Amour: l’EFT pour les Enfants (French Edition)

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Recently I made a mistake and I hurt my friend "Dave". That mistake caused him a lot of trouble.

In addition to being mad at me for making the mistake (which he had every right to be), Dave was also mad at me because he thought I had taken advantage of him. Because I knew him so well, he thought I’d used that knowledge against him to get what I wanted.

It simply wasn't true. I had made a mistake, but I hadn't done anything malicious or intentional.

Dave didn’t give me a chance to explain myself and left thinking I was a selfish, mean person.

This week's audio is the tapping I did after this happened. This is me in real time dealing with my emotions because a friend thought ill of me.

Even if this isn't an issue you are dealing with right now, you might find it instructive to hear me dealing with something in real time, and it just might be useful in future.

There is also a text version of the tapping script below the audio player.

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A few weeks ago in Podcast 299 I shared with you a simple way to use intentions at the beginning of every day as gentle way of taking more positive action throughout the day.

I heard from a number of clients who tried the process and struggled to use it. One described how when she sat down to tap, she completely went blank. Not just for the tapping phrases, but she couldn't remember the type of progress she wanted to achieve.

As unbelievable as it might seem, our system can put up resistance to our progress because on some level it believes it is unsafe for us to change and move forward. If there is a subconscious belief that progress is dangerous, it will do everything in its power to hold us back.

In this audio I demonstrate how to tap when there is a part of us that thinks progress is unsafe. (I have included the text version of the tapping script under the audio player below.)

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Sometimes we tap with the aim of just feeling better, without a clear focus for our tapping. We might feel unsettled or out of sorts, but not in a precise way. From a tapping point of view this can pose a problem because often the best results come when we are very specific about an issue.

When this happens to me, I have a simple way to tap for peace, calm, and tranquility.

Here is a tap-along audio that’s perfect for those times and will help bring you peace. (Full tapping script below the audio player.)

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I recognize the fact that I am not at peace...I have thoughts buzzing in my head...I have tension in my body...I have the distraction of all of the things I need to do...I appreciate the fact that I live in the modern world...And there is busyness...I also acknowledge the modern world is not my enemy...Busyness is not my enemy... But they do make it difficult for me to find peace...They do make it difficult for me to find calm...I give my system permission to release and let go of any tension held in my body...Knowing that whatever information is in that tension is information that I can understand in another way...When that tension melts away...I am fully grounded in my body...I can respond to what I need to respond to...In an easy and effective way...I give myself permission to be fully present in my body...To know that it is safe for me to be fully present in my body...I give myself permission to relax...I give myself permission to be in my body in this moment...I also acknowledge that my mind is buzzing...Filled with ideas and thoughts that are trying to get my attention...Part of me doesn't want to let these go...Because if I let them go I will forget...I know that if something is important...It will come back...It will be fully present in my mind...In this moment I am allowed to be calm...I'm allowed to be still...I'm allowed to be mentally fully present in this moment...As I reach for this stillness...There is no other goal than being still in this moment...I'm not trying to achieve something at this time...Other than letting go...That will allow me to be at peace...That will allow me to be calm...That will allow me to relax and let go...I give myself permission to relax in this moment...And in doing so to be at peace.

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Quit has become a dirty word.

American football coach Vince Lombardi is credited with saying that "Winners never quit and quitters never win!"

Early in the movie "Molly's Game" (based on the life of Molly Bloom) there is a flashback to Molly’s childhood and a session training to be a competitive skier. After hours of training she asks her father (who is also her coach) if she can quit because she is tired. Her father replies that she can quit only after she gives him a synonym for tired. She thinks about it for a moment and says "weak". Feeling defeated she heads back up the hill to keep training.

There is a deeply ingrained mentality in our culture that honors pushing through, in working hard, in overcoming difficult times.

The problem is that there are many tasks, activities, and commitments that we should quit.

Sometimes the projects we start aren't what we thought they would be, do not give us the returns we expected, take way longer than we planned, or we have just plain outgrown them.

It is OK to let go of commitments that no longer serve us!

More than likely you felt some resistance as you read that last line. If that is the case, this is the perfect tap-along for you.

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The beginning of a new year provides a great opportunity to reset and refocus.

Even though I am not the biggest fan of New Year's resolutions, I have found a way to make a small commitment to tapping each day that is making huge changes in the way that I behave and feel.

In this audio I share with you how I have used tapping for a simple intention at the beginning of my day to create this change.

The reason I love this process so much is because it doesn't require a complicated plan. It simply unfolds right in front of you, day by day.

This recording is of me doing the process to start the new year.

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Recently my friend Jake Khym was being interviewed on a podcast and he brought up the idea of "the art of love." He talked about how being loving is a not only a skill, but a skill at which we can get better.

There wasn’t the time in that particular interview for him to go into detail about this idea, but I was fascinated and needed to hear more.

So this week's podcast is exactly that. Jake takes the time to explain how he approaches love as a skill, the four parts of the skill that we can improve, and specifically how we can improve at loving.

I know this topic isn't exactly about tapping, but most people are drawn to tapping because they want to live a fuller and richer life. Being better at loving is one of the ways to improve our lives AND the skilled tapper will find a number of tappable issues related to the conversation.

Guest: Jake Khym, BA, MA, RCC, CCC

Contact: web @ Life Restoration; twitter @jakekhym

About Jake: Jake offers inspiring and practical presentations throughout North America on many topics including the practical application of Christian psychology. Jake holds a BA in Theology and a Masters in Counselling Psychology. After working for almost 10 years in lay ministry, Jake has his own counselling practice and co-directs Life Restoration, a Catholic ministry offering restoration through counselling, workshops, and conferences. Jake and his wife Heather with their three children, Maria, Judah, and Eva, live in British Columbia, Canada.

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One of my favorite ways to use tapping is to remove whatever is standing in the way of taking action towards creating the life we desire.

In this conversation with my friend Kris Ferraro, we go through a simple step-by-step process she has created to help you get clarity about what you want, how to identify the emotional blocks you have to taking action, and how to tap for those blocks.

Kris has also created a handout you can use to follow the process. Download it here.

Interview with Linda Woods mentioned by Kris.

Guest: Kris Ferraro

Contact: web @ KrisFerraro.com/; email @ me@krisferraro.com

About: Kris Ferraro is an Energy Coach, speaker and teacher based in northern NJ. She is the creator of Spiritual Freedom Techniques, a series of practices that combine ancient wisdom with EFT for transformation. Kris is a "true believer" in our innate ability to heal and helps clients step into their power and purpose.

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Tapping for pain and distress is easy. You can name exactly what is wrong (the pain) and you have a clear idea of what you want (relief).

Tapping to create a life that we love can be a little bit tricker because we are often unsure of exactly what we want that life to be like. My friend Gregg Levoy refers to this idea of creating the life we were made for as a calling, as if our soul is calling us towards fulfilment. Once we have a clear idea of our calling, we can use tapping to help us work towards it.

In this conversation Gregg and I talk about what exactly a calling is and how to get clarity about it in your own life. In addition, I have added four easy ways in which you can use tapping to gain clarity about your calling by clearing the blocks standing in the way of taking positive action.

Guest: Gregg Levoy

Contact: web @ GreggLevoy.com

About Gregg: Gregg Levoy is the author of Vital Signs: The Nature and Nurture of Passion, and the bestselling Callings: Finding and Following An Authentic Life rated among the "Top 20 Career Publications" by the Workforce Information Group.

He has presented lectures and seminars for the Smithsonian Institution, Environmental Protection Agency, Microsoft, National Conference on Positive Aging, American Counseling Association, National Career Development Association, and others, and been a frequent guest of the media, including ABC-TV, CNN, NPR and PBS.

A former adjunct professor of journalism at the University of New Mexico, and former columnist and reporter for USA Today and the Cincinnati Enquirer, he has written for the New York Times Magazine, Washington Post, Omni, Psychology Today, Reader’s Digest, and many others.

Vital Signs: The Nature and Nurture of Passion

Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life

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One the main reasons that we don't do the tapping we know would be useful is that we don't know where to begin. We have a general idea that something isn't right, but we can't quite put our finger on it. When we are in this situation tapping feels like a giant waste of time.

This week I have a conversation with EFT Founding Master Gwyneth Moss about what to do when we don't know what to tap on or where to start. If you follow her simple advice, you will make great progress with your tapping!

Guest: Gwyneth Moss

Contact: web @ EFThelps.com; email @ contact form; web @ Annual EFT Gathering

About Gwyneth: Gwyneth Moss is one of the original EFT Masters and the founder of the EFT Gathering annual community conference which has run since 2009. With a degree in Physics and an MBA she is known for the clarity and depth of her teaching style and for her innovative techniques which include EFT Imagineering; Protective Distancing; Projection Tapping; The Surrogate EFT Protocol and more. Gwyneth teaches EFT in the glorious countryside of Yorkshire and at Esalen, Big Sur, CA.

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Taking action can be very difficult when we aren't exactly sure of our direction or what we think should be happening next. The problem is that it is hard to tap for clarity because we aren’t trying to remove a feeling of discomfort or a block that is in the way. We are just missing something we want.

In this conversation with EFT Master Carol Look we talk about how to tap for more clarity and its power. We even do a little tapping for clarity in the interview, which makes taking action much easier.

Guest: Dr. Carol Look

Contact: web @ CarolLook.com; twitter @CarolLookEFT;

Don’t forget to check out all of Carol's other podcast interviews

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Almost daily I receive an email asking something along the lines of, "What is the best way to tap for [insert issue]?"

It’s great that people are looking for the most effect ways to clear an issue, but sometimes I think this question can be problematic.

In this audio I explore the question of the best way to tap. What I share here will help even the most experienced tapper to tap in a more effective way.

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When working with my clients one-on-one, we usually spend a lot of time tapping for the world views and beliefs that have been passed along from parents. It makes good sense that we pick up the beliefs of our parents because they are usually our closest relationships.

Mark Wolynn's work looks at how we inherit our parents’ beliefs, not through the day-to-day of living with them, but genetically as a result of the trauma experienced by past generations.

This idea emerged just over a decade ago and there is now a large body of scientific evidence in support of it.

In the interview Mark explains how trauma is passed on genetically in our DNA, how we can identify the traumas that have been passed down, and what we can do to clear them.

If you find this topic interesting, check out Mark's book IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, which contains a much more comprehensive conversation on how you can identify and clear inherited traumas.

It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle Paperback

Guest: Mark Wolynn

Contact: web @ MarkWolynn.com; facebook @ Mark Wolynn

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EFT and tapping are powerful tools in the face of strong emotions in the moment. It is amazing how quickly we can feel better just by tapping without words as we are experiencing difficult or overwhelming feelings.

Some events are so big, however, that they bring emotions that need be dealt with both before and afterwards and for these a more strategic plan is needed.

Recently, Gwenn Bonnell and her family lived through a major hurricane. Knowing that the hurricane was coming meant they had to deal with the anxiety of the unknown ahead of time. They then lived through it and also had to deal with the aftermath.

In this conversation Gwen talks about how she tapped before, during, and after the hurricane. The tools she shares can be used for anything that uproots your life either directly (like a natural disaster) or indirectly (a mass shooting in another part of the world).

Guest: Gwenn Bonnell

Contact Gwenn: web @ TapIntoHeaven.com; web @ TapAwayPain.com; email @ gwenn@tapintoheaven.com; phone @ 954 370 1552

About Gwenn: Gwenn is a writer, teacher and lecturer. She offers private sessions and training and workshops at Heaven On Earth in Davie, Florida. A graduate of the College of Health and Human Development, Penn State University, she is a member of ACEP, the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and has trained personally with Gary Craig (developer of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques), Dr. Larry Nims (BSFF, Be Set Free Fast), Tapas Fleming (TAT, Tapas Acupressure Techniques), Donna Eden and David Feinstein (Energy Medicine), Sandi Radomski (Allergy Antidotes), Alan Handelsman (Muscle Testing), Paul Burdelski (Touch for Health), and Piilani (Huna Kane).

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Back in April I talked with Dr. Peta Stapleton about the scientific research that she has done over the last decade on the efficacy of tapping.

In our last interview Peta talked about how she and her team had just been given access to an fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) machine for their research. Using an fMRI machine allows them to see the impact that tapping and EFT have on the brain.

In this interview we get an update on how they are using the fMRI machine, what they have learned so far, and what they will be testing in the future.

Make sure you check out our original conversation about the research around tapping. Also, at the bottom of this page you will find links to many of the scientific papers that Peta has published with evidence that tapping works.

Guest: Dr. Peta Stapleton

Contact: web @ PetaStapleton.com; twitter @PetaStapleton; instagram @petastapleton

About: Dr. Peta Stapleton has 22 years of experience as a registered Clinical and Health Psychologist in the State of Queensland, Australia and has completed a Bachelor of Arts, Postgraduate Diploma of Professional Psychology and Doctor of Philosophy. Peta held academic positions at Griffith University for 14 years, teaching and coordinating psychological research trials into new therapies in the area of obesity and weight management and is now Associate Professor in Psychology at Bond University. Peta regularly contributes to the academic field with publications in the areas of nursing, morale, communication, psychological interventions and eating disorders. She regularly reviews for academic journals and offers supervision for new and existing Psychologists as well as students.

Here is a list of published research papers which Peta has authored or co-authored about EFT:

Emotional freedom techniques in the treatment of unhealthy eating behaviors and related psychological constructs in adolescents: A randomized controlled pilot trial
Food for Thought: A randomised controlled trial of emotional freedom techniques and cognitive behavioural therapy in the treatment of food cravings
The effectiveness of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Emotional Freedom Techniques in reducing depression and anxiety among adults: A pilot study
Depression Symptoms Improve after Successful Weight Loss with Emotional Freedom Techniques
Quitting Smoking: How to Use Emotional Freedom Techniques
Practical application of Emotional Freedom Techniques for food cravings

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It is a little known fact that there are approximately 40,000 neurons in the human heart and around 500 million in our stomachs. Together these neurons are sometimes referred to as "little brains". The heart and stomach are connected to each other and to our brains via the vagus nerve. 80% of the information traveling on this path goes from the stomach and heart to the brain.

This means that a huge amount of information comes from the neurons of the stomach and heart to the brain, helping us to make choices all day long.

On some level we already know this because we use phrases like "I have this gut feeling that..." or "My heart is tell me to…"

The process of mBraining uses this information in a deliberate way to create healing and transformation. Andy Bryce and his wife Maxine are certified in mBraining and are the first people in the world to combine it with tapping.

In this interview Andy talks about mBraining, how it can be combined with tapping, and he gives a demonstration where he works with me on an issue I am struggling with.

Guest: Andy Bryce

Contact: Web @ TappingThrough.com; Email @ andy@tappingthrough.com; Twitter @eftandybryce; Facebook @ EFTAndyBryce

About Andy: Andy Bryce has been working with personal growth, well being and emotional resilience for over thirty years. For the last seventeen years, his primary toolkit has been Emotional Freedom Techniques. In 2006, Andy was certified as one of only 30 EFT Master Practitioners worldwide. Andy is also a certified mBraining Coach and P.E.T. practitioner.

Andy is a past Director of Training for AAMET, and has trained EFT practitioners in Belgium, France, Canada, USA, Mexico, Australia, Italy, Greece, South Africa and the UK as a Trainer of Trainers.

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My friend Pamela Bruner often says that "Small business ownership is the master's degree of personal development." The reason she says this is because when we own a business, we are constantly being pushed to do tasks that make us uncomfortable. And because we are constantly in these situations, we have many opportunities to lean head on into the underlying issues that hold us back from taking action.

Pamela is a firm believer that mindset work is essential and fundamental to being successful in business.

In this conversation we talk about the most common mindset issues experienced by small business owners, and the easiest ways to address them with tapping.

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Guest: Pamela Bruner

Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessReal.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, facebook @ MakeYourSuccessEasy;
phone @ 888-403-4057

About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Business Success Coach, author, speaker, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) expert. After removing her own marketing fears to grow her business from (375/month to a )1,000,000 in less than three years, Pamela specializes in working with conscious entrepreneurs to build six- and seven-figure businesses by removing their fears and blocks around marketing and sales. She is co-author of 'EFT and Beyond – Cutting Edge Techniques for Personal Transformation', and is the co-author of the book and DVD ‘Tapping into Ultimate Success’ with Jack Canfield, author of 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'.

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One of the phrases that my clients find hardest to use in their tapping is, "I give myself permission to be easy and gentle with myself".

The reason they find it difficult is because it feels as if it’s giving themselves permission to do less work, not to try, or to be satisfied with something that is less than.

Recently I had conversation with one of my clients who reported struggling with using that phrase, even though she recognized it would be useful.

Below is the recording of that conversation, used with her permission.

In the conversation we cover why it is useful to use the phrase and the many reasons why we resist doing so, as well as how we can position ourselves for great healing by tapping with the phrase.

As an added bonus, you have the opportunity to hear me working one-on-one with a client in real time, which I hope you will find instructional.

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Money Event!

It is amazing how effective our system is at finding ways to feel better. When something is wrong (even when we aren't consciously aware of it), the system starts to take steps to feel better.

The problem is that our system is geared to react with short term solutions. Its only concern is to stop the discomfort right now, so it isn't motivated to make good long term choices.

For example, when I am highly stressed I start to crave ice cream (particularly cookies and cream flavor). When I eat the ice creamy goodness, my body is flooded with all the biochemicals that come along with digesting a lot of sugar.

In the short term, I stop feeling overwhelmed. If I keep making these choices in the long term, it becomes very unhealthy.

In this conversation with Manal Khalife we talk about why we make self-medicating choices, the surprising types of self-medicating choices we can make, and how we can stop them.

Guest: Manal Khalife

Book: Food, Drugs & Love: How to Stop Escaping & Start Living

Contact: Web @ ManalKhalife.com/; twiter @ iammanalk; facebook @ iammanalk;

About: Manal Khalife is a Stress and Emotions Coach, helping women who want to learn how to handle stress, let go of emotional pain, make peace with past experiences, and move forward with confidence. She specializes in working with postpartum depression.

Food, Drugs & Love: How to Stop Escaping & Start Living

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Uncomplicate Your Relationship With Money

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Dealing with money is a fact of life. We can't live without it. In the best of all possible worlds money would be perceived just as a tool that helps us to fulfill our daily needs.

The problem is that on an emotional level we don't perceive money as simply a tool. Instead, we write stories about ourselves in terms of our relationship with money.

Not having money can mean that we don’t feel worthy. If do have money, we feel like we are being greedy. It is as if we can't win. No matter how much money we do or don't have, we write a negative story about ourselves.

This week I have a conversation with Brad Yates about how we can uncover the past experiences responsible for the conscious and unconscious stories we tell around money. We also talk about the first steps we can take to tap for these stories.

Guest: Brad Yates

Contact: twitter @EFTWizard; web @ TapWithBrad.com; facebook @ facebook.com/BradYatesTapping

About Brad: Brad has had the privilege and pleasure of working with a diverse group of clients, from CEOs to professional and NCAA athletes, from chiropractors and psychiatrists to corporate and federal attorneys, from award-winning actors to residents at a program for homeless men and women in Santa Monica. For several years he taught a weekly class using EFT and guided imagery at Sacramento Drug Court. He has also been a presenter at a number of events, including several International Energy Psychology Conferences and the Walk On Water (WOW) Fest in Los Angeles. He has presented at Jack Canfield's Breakthrough to Success event, and has done teleseminars with “The Secret” stars Bob Doyle and Dr. Joe Vitale. He is also the co-author of the best-seller "Freedom at Your Fingertips," a featured expert in the film “Try It On Everything” (along with Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Dr. Norman Shealy and Dr. Bruce Lipton), and has been heard internationally on a number of internet radio talk shows.

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There is a very common struggle that caregivers have. It is that they are notoriously bad taking care of themselves. If you have been around the self-help world for any amount of time, this is not going to come as a surprise to you.

What might be surprising is that one of the places that this lack of self care shows up in the way that caregivers struggle with money.

In this conversation with Melissa Lester Olson we talk about why caregivers struggle with self care and struggle with their relationships to money and what we can do about it.

Melissa is one of the hosts of the event Improve Your Relationship With Money which is happening in November in Orlando. I am going to be one of the speakers at this event and I would love to see you there. Full details.

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Guest: Melissa Lester Olson, LCSW

Contact:* Web @ MelissaLesterOlson.com; Email @ here; Phone @ 770-313-7768; Facebook @ MelissaLesterOlsonLCSW

Bio: Melissa Lester Olson is a therapist and EFT Practitioner in Atlanta, GA. Melissa specializes in working with women issues especially Binge Eating Disorder, LGBTQ Issues, Coming Out Later in Life, Family of Origin issues, Relationship issues, Anxiety, Depression and Stress.

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I might seem counter intuitive, but there are three good reasons to why our loved ones don't want us to heal and transform. This can even be true for the people in our lives who are vocally supportive of us.

In most cases this lack of support from our loved ones is happening on a subconscious level.

This week in the podcast I talk about the three reasons why our loved ones don't want us to change and I provide a tap along audio for each of the reasons.

You can also find the tapping scripts written out below the audio player. (Did you know that you can take many of the tapping script with you through the free Tapping Q&A app? Download it here: Apple App | Google/Android App)

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Desire can be a double edged sword.

When we want something that we don't have, but see others with it we feel left out. In some cases we even feel as if we are not as worthy or not as valuable as others because they have it and we don't.

On the other hand we can feel bad for having desires as all. When we have desires we can beat ourselves up for being ungrateful and unappreciative for what we have.

What I find most amazing is the fact that we can feel both of these emotions at the same time. We can feel bad for not having what we want AND we can feel bad for wanting more.

This week I have a tap-along audio and script to respond to both ends of the emotional struggle with desire.

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Tapping for negative past experiences is often the easiest kind of tapping because we know the details of the past experience. While tapping we have the opportunity to state exactly what happened, how we interpret those events, how we felt about them back then, and how we feel now.

No matter how long we have to tap to find relief, the tapping itself is straightforward.

Tapping for the emotion of dread can be much less straightforward. Dread is a worry about the future and, since the future is unknown, it is much harder to find specific details to tap for.

Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to tap for dread. I recorded the audio while I was in the grip of feeling dread myself, so you have the opportunity to experience the way I tap when dealing with an issue firsthand.

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Why do you tap?

It seems like such a silly question to consider. Obviously (!) we tap to make ourselves feel better, remove pain, to be healthier, and to create a more enjoyable life.

I don't disagree with any of those ideas. In a global way that is why I use Emotional Freedom Techniques as well. But it doesn't get to the heart of the reason why we tap.

For me, there is a simple underlying principle that informs how I understand change, where to start when working with an issue, and how I can evaluate the long term success of tapping.

I am always trying to get better at what I do. In order to do that I need constantly to re-evaluate and challenge my own assumptions. I would love to hear your thoughts on this idea in the comments below. Your feedback will make me a better practitioner.

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One of the first techniques that any good tapper learns is the "movie technique".

In the movie technique you replay the details of a past event in your mind, as if you are watching them in a film. As you replay the past events, the moment you get to an emotion in the memory, you stop and tap for the emotion.

This is a very effective way of clearing the emotions from a past event. The problem is that there are often more emotions that need to be cleared than just the ones that show up while you are replaying the past memory.

Not only do we need to deal with what happened, but we also need to clear the emotions we feel today as we think about that past event.

Here is a simple technique to make sure you are clearing the emotional baggage from the past memory AND also clearing your relationship to the past.

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People with a kind heart and helping disposition are often those who have the hardest time reaching out for help.

This can happen for reasons ranging from not wanting to be a burden to others, to believing that since we possess the tools of healing, we are responsible for taking care of ourselves.

Everyone (and I mean everyone) needs help from the outside. We can't and aren't meant to go it alone. This week I have a tap-along audio and tapping script for those who find it difficult to ask for help or to accept help when it is offered.

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It would be great if we could find a solution for every problem.

But that is simply not possible. Some illness can't be cured. Death is inevitable.

There are even times when solutions are available, but for a variety of complex reasons our loved ones aren't willing or able to choose change.

Whether there is no clear solution or the solution isn't being chosen, it can leave you feeling helpless and heartbroken.

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I want better for those around me...I want better for those I love...I want them to make better choices...I want them to have access to better options...The truth of the matter is that at a certain point...There are no more options...There is nothing that we can do to create change...Because the situation is so grave...There's a part of us that doesn't want to admit that...There is a part of me that doesn't believe I am helpless in this regard...It is a part of me that wishes I could tap a little longer and a little harder to create change...But what is happening is happening...There are times when we cannot change that...I feel like a failure when this happens...I feel like I'm giving up because I'm not trying something new...I feel like there must be some deficiency in me otherwise I would have solved this problem...Otherwise I would have found an answer...Otherwise I would have found a way around this...Sometimes there's nothing I can do...And that breaks my heart...It breaks my heart to see a loved one suffer...It breaks my heart to see them in pain...It breaks my heart to not see them take the action that might make a difference...I give myself permission to be sad...I give myself permission to be heartbroken...These are the emotions of wanting better for my loved ones...I give myself permission to be angry...Because that is the emotion of trying to fight for better...I give myself permission to feel lost...Because sometimes I just don't have the answers...Even though this is out of my control...I can still be present...I can still be loving...I can share this moment with them...And that is real...That is significant...That is meaningful...Even if there's a part of me that doesn't accept that to be true...Even if there's a part of me that feels like I am failing...Even if there's a part of me that wants me to do more...I give myself permission to be with them...In this moment...With whatever they are dealing with...Knowing that they must take action...That this is their moment too...I give myself permission to know that it is significant...I give myself permission to know that this is not giving up...I give myself permission to know this is not giving in...This is being in the moment for them...This is being in the moment with them...That is meaningful...That is real...That is what I can do...That is who I can be in this moment.

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I recognize the fact that I am not perfect...I recognize the fact that I will make mistakes...Even though I can intellectually accept that fact...There is a part of me that does not want to accept that...There is a part of me that thinks I need to get it right...Especially when I have the skills...Especially when I know what to do...When I don't use the skills that I have...There is a part of me that decides to beat myself up...There is a part of me that needs to let me know that I am wrong...There's a part of me that wants to punish me for this mistake...I appreciate the fact that something in me wants to hold myself to a very high standard...I appreciate the fact that there is a part of me that wants me to make the best choices possible...I also recognize the fact that this part of me is over functioning...That this part works way too hard...That this part believes if it beats me up for making a mistake...I will then make good choices in the future...I know this isn't the case...I know that harsh words and beating myself up are not helpful...I know chastising myself is not useful...I give myself permission to be easy with myself...I give myself permission to be gentle with myself...I give myself permission to be kind to myself...There's a part of me that finds this unacceptable...There is a part of me that believes I'm taking the easy way out...There is a part of me that thinks that when I am easy with myself...What I'm really doing is giving myself permission to make more mistakes...But when I’m easy with myself I can still take responsibility for my past choices...When I’m easy with myself I can still take responsibility for the consequences of my choices...When I’m easy with myself I am still deciding to learn the lessons of the past...Learning from my past is useful...Learning from my past is instructive...Beating myself up for bad choices is destructive...I give myself permission to be imperfect...I can be imperfect and still strive to do my best...I give myself permission to be easy with myself...Knowing that being easy with myself is not letting myself off easy...When I learn from my past without beating myself up...It is the fastest route to transformation...It is the fastest way to creating positive new habits.

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There is a huge difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it. Just because tapping is a powerful tool doesn't mean that you will always remember to reach for it in times of emotional distress.

When my clients are recounting something from the previous week that was hard, I ask them if they tried tapping for the issue. They usually reply somewhat sheepishly, "No… I forgot." My aim is not to try to shame them by asking that question. I just want to know what happened so we can do the best work in the moment.

We set amazingly high standards for ourselves. Part of us believes that if we know how to do something, then we must be perfect at it every time. That is simply not the case.

It takes time for new skills to become a habit. But we are human beings and we simply aren't perfect, meaning that we don’t always reach for the right tool.

Below you will find a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to be easier with yourself when you aren't doing the action you want to take perfectly. When tapping like this we are not excusing ourselves from not making the best choices, but instead making sure that we understand why we don't always make the best choices.

Right now, think of an area in your life where you are beating yourself up because you aren't doing it well enough, and tap for it. Not only will you feel better, but it will be easier to take positive action.

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Unfortunately, death is an unfortunate fact of life. Even with the passing of a loved one is expected it is an emotionally difficult experience.

When we are facing the emotions that come after the death of a loved one, the goal is not to eliminate all of our emotion. Sadness is appropriate. Sadness is healthy. Instead we can tap to make sure that we are have proportional well informed emotions.

The tap-along audio and script that you can find below is perfect any time you are feeling the pain of the death of a loved one. It could be right when it happened, on the anniversary of their death, or on a random day that you are reminded of them.

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One of the main reasons we don't tap in the moment is because we are so lost in the emotions that we are feeling that we don't remember tapping is something we can do.

There are other times when we are in the moment, we remember to tap, but we still don't do it because we don't know where to start. In these moments the emotional response is so strong we can't describe what is going on. We can't find the words to describe the root cause and we aren't thinking clearly enough to come up with a reframe for the situation.

Because we can't find an entry point to tapping, we simple don't do it.

Here is a very simple 3 step process to use in the moments that you want to tap, but you have no idea where to begin. The process is so easy that after you listen to this once you will have the process mastered.

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Back in Pod #199 I shared with you a tap-along audio to help you when you are facing a big decision. The tap-along is about trusting yourself, creating space, and knowing that everything will work out for the best.

I went back to listen to it again and I think it is an excellent and useful tap-along.

At the same time, I think there is more we can do to create space for making good choices when facing a big decision.

This week I have for you a simple tool with step-by-step instruction on how you can use tapping in the decision-making process. It's more than just feeling better about making the choice, but tapping while you are figuring out what is best for you.

If you use the tool, please let me know how it worked for you in the comment section below.

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When tapping works, it feels like magic. You tap on a few points, you say a few phrases, and you get relief.

When tapping doesn't work, you feel like a fool. You are sitting alone in your room muttering phrases to yourself, tapping on your body, and hoping it will get better.

When this happens to me, not only do I question tapping in the moment, I also question all of the tapping I did in the past. I wonder if I have imagined my past successes.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along that you can do when you feel like you have reached a plateau in your progress. I recorded it in the middle of feeling this exact frustration. So this isn't me giving you an option for this type of tapping, it is actually me dealing with it for myself.

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Embarking on a creative endeavor, whether for our personal or professional lives, can feel daunting.

We struggle with creativity because:

We want the ideas to emerge fully formed
We are worried that our efforts will be judged harshly by others
We are concerned about wasting time and not coming up with anything good
We don't know where to start so it feels like a waste of time and energy even to try

Because we don't want the process to go badly, we simply don't start (think of staring at a blank Word document and being taunted by that blinking cursor!).

This tap-along audio (with script below) will help you to clear the emotional blocks holding you back from creative endeavours. Take a few moments to tap through this audio (or script) before brainstorming or working on a task that requires creativity and you will find your flow much more easily.

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When a loved one is diagnosed with a serious illness it can difficult to know what to do next.

On one level we want to be helpful but also recognise that they may need their space so we don't want to be intrusive. Often we are so shocked ourselves that we just don't know what to do next.

At the 2017 Spring Energy Event I was given the opportunity to moderate a panel discussion between Annabel Fisher, Annie Siegel Alexander, and Ange Finn. All three of these amazing women (and tapping practitioners) have battled life-threatening diseases. (You can read more about the three of them at the bottom of this post.)

The conversation is not primarily about how to use EFT for life-threatening illness, though all three of them talk about how tapping was helpful in their own journey. Instead we cover:

Their individual experiences of diagnosis and treatment
How they managed their emotional experience
How their loved ones responded to the situation

In the conversation you will hear practical advice on how you can best support your loved ones in these kinds of situations.

I feel fortunate to have participated in this very honest and powerful conversation in which these brave women were willing to share their stories.

Ange Finn: Ange is an AAMET Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. In addition to working with clients to resolve the patterns of behavior that keep them stuck, she also specializes in helping horseback riders overcome fear after falls. She can be found online at TapIntoYourself.com/ and RideWithoutFear.com/

Annabel Fisher: Annabel is a British Columbia based practitioner who works with clients struggling with chronic and serious illnesses. She can be found online at EFTTappingSessions.com/ and you can also listen to her past Tapping Q&A podcast interviews here.

Annie Siegel Alexander: Annie uses EFT, Matrix Reimprinting, and hypnotherapy for anxiety, stress, relationships, and sleep problems. She can be found online at RoadToEmotionalFreedom.com/

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Last August I had a conversation with acupuncturist Beth Kearns about each of the tapping points we use in the basic tapping routine. If you haven't listened to the conversation, I encourage you to go back to it because it is informative.

There are three main differences between tapping and acupuncture. The first and most obvious is that we tap with our hands and an acupuncturist uses needles. Second, when we are tapping we usually say phrases out loud and if not, we are still focused on a particular issue. This is not required with acupuncture. Third, when tapping we use the same seven to fifteen tapping points for any issue. An acupuncturist uses a custom set of points on the body for each issue from a choice of hundreds.

In this conversation Beth explains her intake process to me, what she is looking for when working with clients, and how she decides which points to use. We even play act the intake process with me talking about the specific issue that first brought me to tapping.

I found all of this information extremely interesting.

Guest: Beth Kearns

Contact Beth: web @ BethKearnsAcupuncture.com

About Beth: Beth is a fully licensed acupuncturist in the State of Colorado. She is a certified Diplomat (Dipl.Ac) by the National Certification Commission in Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine (NCCAOM). She completed the four-year program at the Institute of Taoist Education and Acupuncture (ITEA) in Louisville, CO. ITEA is a Classical Five-Element Acupuncture school. In addition to acupuncture, Beth is also an advanced Neuro-Structural Integration Technique (NST) practitioner. Beth is a teacher at ITEA and loves sharing this amazing form of acupuncture with students. She is available to bring acupuncture and NST to businesses and groups and give lectures on many topics including acupuncture, depression/anxiety, grief, women’s issues, and much more.

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We enter this world as a blank slate. With each new experience and relationship we begin to form a series of beliefs about the world and our place within it.

These beliefs become the bedrock of our emotional experience because they determine our interpretation of everything that happens to us in life.

This becomes problematic when the beliefs informing our experience are not useful or are outdated. For example, if I believe it is unsafe for me to be who I am called to be, I will live my life constantly feeling like an impostor because I am not being true to myself.

At the 2017 Spring Energy Event I was given the opportunity to talk about how we form our beliefs and what to do when those beliefs become limiting and no longer serve us.

In the talk I cover:

How our beliefs are formed
The eight operating principles I work from when working on changing or releasing limiting beliefs
A simple process you can use to identify the beliefs holding you back and how to tap to transform them

Operating principles:

We always make the best choice possible based on the _*_* we have and the _________________ that we are in.
The goal is to have well _________________ responses.
We learn _________________ because it is fuel efficient.
Fear is our _________________.
Trauma is caused by events that are _________________, _________________, _________________, and in which we have a _________________.
Our primary work is _________________ rules, patterns, and cause/effect relationships.
We are notoriously bad _________________ to our own experience.
As practitioner my goal is to be _________________.

How To Identify The Belief

Imagine taking the action
Feel it in the body
Ask it:
1. What is it afraid of?
2. What proof does it have this is true?
3. Who will be disappointed if you let go of this belief?
4. Who also holds that this belief is true?
5. What goes wrong if you release this belief?

How To Release The Belief

Name the new belief you would like to have
When I tap for this:
1. I am not letting go of the people who gave it to me
2. I am not saying they tried to hurt me
3. I am not saying they are wrong for trying to give it to me
4. I am not saying I am wrong for picking it up
5. I am not saying it wasn't useful for them
When tapping for this I am
1. ...Picking up a new belief...
2. ...That is helpful in the moment...
3. ...I have the right to pick up the old belief in the future if I decide it is useful...

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Last month I shared an interview with Dr. Norman Shealy about fibromyalgia. Dr. Shealy shared his experience from the point of view of a medical doctor who has worked with fibromyalgia for more than three decades. It’s a great interview and if you haven't yet listened to it, it is well worth your time.

The interview stuck a nerve and I received a huge amount of feedback about it, including from a number of people who have worked with fibromyalgia successfully in different ways. I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to interview Sue Ingebretson about her work in the field and her own experience of overcoming fibromyalgia.

This is not a debate between Norm and Sue, or anyone else. Instead this is more information that you will find useful.

Guest: Sue Ingebretson

Contact: web @ RebuildingWellness.com/; facebook @ FibroWHYalgia; twitter @ sueinge

About: Sue Ingebretson is an author, speaker, a certified holistic health care practitioner, and the director of program development for the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Center at California State University, Fullerton. She is a Fibromyalgia Editor for ProHealth.com, as well as a Patient Advocate and the Fibromyalgia Expert for the Alliance Health community of health conditions website. Her #1 Amazon chronic illness bestselling book, FibroWHYalgia, details her own journey from illness to wellness.

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One of the biggest questions about the tapping is how we know if it really works or if the positive shifts it produces are just down to some sort of placebo effect.

Dr. Peta Stapleton finds herself in a unique situation. As a college professor charged with supervising a number of master's level students and their research projects, she has a disposition that is inclined towards the unconventional, and also lives in Australia, which is a little more laid back than the US and is open to new ideas than some other countries.

Because of this, Dr. Stapleton has been able to perform rigorous research into the effectiveness of tapping for a number of issues for over 10 years. In this conversation we talk about her work, how the research studies have been done and their findings. This information is particularly great to have when you are sharing tapping with skeptics.

Guest: Dr. Peta Stapleton

Contact: web @ PetaStapleton.com/; twitter @PetaStapleton; instagram @petastapleton

About: Dr. Peta Stapleton has 22 years experience as a registered Clinical & Health Psychologist in the State of Queensland, Australia and has completed a Bachelor of Arts, Postgraduate Diploma of Professional Psychology and Doctor of Philosophy. Peta held academic positions at Griffith University for 14 years, teaching and coordinating psychological research trials into new therapies in the area of obesity and weight management and is now Associate Professor in Psychology at Bond University. Peta regularly contributes to the academic field with publications in the areas of nursing, morale, communication, psychological interventions and eating disorders. She regularly reviews for academic journals and offers supervision for new and existing Psychologists as well as students.

Here is a list of published research papers which Peta has authored or coauthored about EFT:

Emotional freedom techniques in the treatment of unhealthy eating behaviors and related psychological constructs in adolescents: A randomized controlled pilot trial
Food for Thought: A randomised controlled trial of emotional freedom techniques and cognitive behavioural therapy in the treatment of food cravings
The effectiveness of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Emotional Freedom Techniques in reducing depression and anxiety among adults: A pilot study
Depression Symptoms Improve after Successful Weight Loss with Emotional Freedom Techniques
Quitting Smoking: How to Use Emotional Freedom Techniques
Practical application of Emotional Freedom Techniques for food cravings

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Releasing weight is about much more than simply knowing you should eat better and exercise more. First, there are usually a number of emotional blocks to making healthy choices and, second, even when we make the right choices, our system may still cling to the extra pounds.

This week I have a conversation with Terran Leigh about the most effective ways that you can use tapping to release excess weight. We talk about getting to the root cause of emotional issues, the best ways to tap for those issues, and some simple techniques you can use daily to clear the space required for emotional healing.

Guest: Terran Leigh

Contact: web @ TerranLeigh.com/; facebook @ Terran.Trosclair.EFT; twitter @terranleighEFT](https://twitter.com/terranleighEFT); youtube @ Videos

About: Terran started working with EFT in 2009 for her own emotional health. She now works with clients to realize their own changes waiting just under the surface. She helps her clients first to release stress and then to target and shift their emotional blocks, bringing more success, happiness and peace into their lives. She works in-person in NYC and does phone sessions with clients all over the world.

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In 1993 Tapas Fleming developed an acupressure technique that was later named TAT (Tapas Acupressure Technique). In many ways it is a sister protocol to EFT.

In this conversation with Tapas we talk about how TAT was discovered, how to do it, and its similarities and differences to the tapping most of us are used to doing.

Guest: Tapas Fleming

Contact: web @ TATlife.net; twitter @mytapasfleming; @ facebook TATLifeHome; youtube @ TATLifeVideos

About: Tapas Fleming is a licensed acupuncturist in California. In 1993, she discovered and developed TAT® (Tapas Acupressure Technique®) to help people get over allergies. Surprisingly, the technique opened a gold mine of emotional, spiritual, mental and physical transformation.

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I am always amazed when I stay with my friends and family who have small children. The amount of time, effort and dedication it takes to be a good parent is overwhelming to me as single man.

In this week’s podcast I have a conversation with my parenting expert friend, Heather Chauvin, on the best actions to take when dealing with difficult children or when children are having a difficult time.

The answers she provided are surprising and useful to all of us, not just parents.

(I talked to Heather back in Pod #212 on how to be a better parent)

Guest: Heather Chauvin

Contact: web @: HeatherChauvin.com; podcast @ Mom is In Control; Free Gift @ 21-Day Mom Is In Control Challenge

About Heather: Heather Chauvin has been named the next generation’s thought leader in parenting and women’s leadership. Her mission is to crack women open to their deepest potential and lead the life their soul craves. She reaches thousands of readers worldwide and leads innovative retreats and coaching programs that teach women to succeed in their most sacred work in parenting and business. Heather’s the creator of the New & Noteworthy Podcast, Mom Is In Control, and has been featured on the OWN network, Huffington Post, TV outlets and others. Through her Courageous Rewrite Initiative, Heather has given voice to many humans who have taken courageous, inspired action towards creating a life they’re proud of. With wit and wisdom, Heather inspires a global community of women to take back control of how they want to lead, work, play and parent.

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My clients constantly tell me, "I know I should be tapping, but I don't want to spend time stuck in yukky negative emotions."

I can sympathize. Connecting with and feeling our negative emotions isn’t much fun. Even though tapping is a powerful tool to shift them, it makes sense that we avoid what is uncomfortable.

This week I have a tap-along audio filled with positive affirmations. I recommend tapping along at the beginning of your day, before tackling a difficult task, or any time you just need a pick-me-up.

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Over the years I have been asked a number of times about how to tap for fibromyalgia. Unfortunately I have not been of much help as I have no experience working with this complex condition and all of the practitioners I have reached out to have reported achieving inconsistent results at best.

For this reason I have been searching for the right guest to interview for the topic and I’m happy to say that I have found Dr. Norman Shealy MD. Dr. Shealy has been working successfully with fibromyalgia patients for over 30 years.

As you will hear in this interview, there is a reason why tapping for fibromyalgia is so hard to tackle AND what you can to to be successful in finding relief.

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Guest: C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D

Contact: web @ https://normshealy.com/; twitter @ normshealy; youtube @ normshealy; facebook @ NormShealy

Tool talked about in the interview: Ring of Air

About: C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D. is a neurosurgeon and one of the world's leading experts in stress and pain management. A true innovator in the field, Dr. Shealy holds 10 patents for ground-breaking discoveries, and has published over 300 articles and 25 books.

As one of the first physicians to specialize in this discipline, he founded the Shealy Institute in 1971, a center for therapy and research of chronic pain. The center was the first comprehensive, holistic clinic in the country for the management of depression, migraine, fibromyalgia, and back pain, resulting in numerous pioneering treatments.

Demonstrating the success of a comprehensive, holistic approach to almost all illnesses, this pioneer has helped to bridge the gap between holistic medicine and traditional Western medicine to allow individuals to take responsibility for their own health.

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The very first episode of the Tapping Q & A was released on March 3rd, 2009.

There are now over 300 podcasts in the archive, which is over 150 hours of free content that you can learn from, tap along to, and share with others.

To celebrate its eighth anniversary, in this podcast episode I am interviewed by one of my favorite people in the world about what the last eight years have been like. You will hear about preconceived notions that I have had smashed, the lessons I have learned, and about my hopes for the future of the podcast.

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Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very powerful tool for helping us to return to a clear and calm emotional state. The phrase "emotional freedom" is right there in the name.

Because of this, I think it is easy to forget how powerful a tool it is for dealing with physical pain. Personally, I continue to be bewildered and amazed at how effectively tapping works for physical pain.

In this week's podcast I share the 15 questions I use when tapping for physical pain.

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There is an odd phenomenon that happens when we make progress. Even though we are working towards our goals, there is a part of us feels dissatisfied with the progress. This can even happen when we have reached our goals. There is a part that still wants to pick away and criticize what we are doing.

This happens because change feels scary, even if that fear exists only on the subconscious level. Change means we are doing something new, which is unpredictable, and the subconscious often reads this as dangerous.

That explains why we shortcircuit our progress, undercut our actions, and sometimes even stop ourselves from taking any action at all.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along that will help to quiet the subconscious when it is dissatisfied with progress, which will help you to take more action.

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When my space is cluttered I find it difficult to work efficiently and the mess becomes an emotional and energetic drag on my day.

Recently I replaced my kitchen table with one that fits the space much better than its predecessor and took the opportunity to organize the piles of clutter that had made it their home. My tiny NYC apartment feels much more open and comfortable because that space is cleared.

Sometimes dealing with clutter is about more than setting aside the time to clean up. If you are having a hard time decluttering your space, it’s likely that there is an emotional component at play preventing you from taking action.

In this week's podcast I have for you my favorite technique for clearing out clutter and a tap-along to help you get started.

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In order to have the type of life that we would like, it is important to make good choices about who and what surrounds us. One of the ways we can do this is to evaluate our circumstances and who we spend our time with.

But sometimes we can take this too far. We move from deciding if something is the right fit for us, to saying something is inherently bad. We decide it is unworthy of our time and attention.

When I judge someone or their beliefs harshly, it is often because I am fearful. On some level I am worried that their beliefs or actions will undermine me.

This week I have a tap-along and script for those times when we become too judgy and critical of those around us. The full tapping script can be found below the player.

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Have you ever had one of those days where it is 3:30 in the afternoon and you realize you haven't managed to get anything done?

OR it is one of those days where you move from task to task to task, but somehow never seem to achieve anything?

OR you are just downright foggy and you can't seem to focus at all?

Tapping is the perfect tool to help you to regain your focus, clear out the mental cobwebs, and get stuff done.

This week I have the perfect tapping script to do exactly that!

Below the player you will find a text version of the tapping script that you can print out and take with you.

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Stop Self-Sabotage Class

For me, I find it more frustrating to know what to do and not do it than I do not knowing what to do.

It quickly can turn into me beating myself up for not taking care of my.

This week I have a tap along audio to help you release the feelings of frustration, failure, and shame that come with not tapping when we know it is best of us.

Yes, I understand the irony of asking you to tap for not tapping, but it works.

Below the audio player is the full tapping script so you tap-along at your own pace if you would like.

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Our bodies are far from perfect.

With each passing moment they are aging and showing those changes.

We are our own worst critics when we look in the mirror. We see each and every blemish. We notice even the slightest change. Even the smallest imperfection can seem like a big deal.

At the exact same time, our bodies are amazing! They are a community of over 37 trillion cells that are working together every moment of the day. There are countless systems and processes working faultlessly to which we give no conscious thought.

Today we are going to tap to appreciate our bodies more. I have found that when I do this type of tapping regularly I am healthier and happier.

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Last week I shared with you a simple process for letting go of the issues, worries, and wounds of 2016.

This week we are going to tap to start 2017 off on the right foot.

I love this particular tapping process because it is a chance for us to turn inward and give all parts of our system the chance to state what they need in the year ahead.

Just like last week, I recommend that you do this process once a day for a week. I am certain you will be amazed by how the process changes each time you do it.

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As the year draws to a close it is good for us to reflect on the last twelve months. This week I have for you a process that will lead you through a simple reflection of your year.

This is a great process because it is set up to allow you to heal and release wounds from the last year, but without having to dive into the details.

Think of this as a gentle way to do a little emotional housekeeping.

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On some level we know that getting a good night’s sleep is important. I know the quality of my sleep impacts how I handle each day. But did you know:

Sleep plays a vital role in good health and well-being throughout your life. Getting enough quality sleep at the right times can help protect your mental health, physical health, quality of life, and safety.

The way you feel while you're awake depends in part on what happens while you're sleeping. During sleep, your body is working to support healthy brain function and maintain your physical health. In children and teens, sleep also helps support growth and development.

The damage from sleep deficiency can occur in an instant (such as a car crash), or it can harm you over time. For example, ongoing sleep deficiency can raise your risk for some chronic health problems. It also can affect how well you think, react, work, learn, and get along with others.

That is a direct quote from Heart, Blood, and Lung Institute at the National Institute of Health which is run by the US Department of Health and Human Services.

Here is an updated version of the tapping I do before I go to bed to ensure a good night’s sleep. I have included both an audio and text version of the script (below).

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33% Off Pain Relief Miracle

Over the years I have collected many of my favorite tapping phrases and ideas to help to maintain a healthy body.

I have found this very useful when I am feeling sick AND also to keep sickness at bay.

You don't have to use the entire tapping script. You can pick and choose the parts that work best for you.

Below I have included a tap-along audio as well as a pdf script of the words that you can print out.

Download the pdf script

You can access script in the text area of the Tapping Q & A App which you can download for free here: Apple App |Google/Andriod App

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The holiday season is a time for spending time with friends and family, parties, celebration, and fun.

But because there is soooooo much packed into this time of year there can also be a great deal of additional stress. To help you through the holiday season I have four different tapping scripts for you.

Too many activities going on (4m56s)
Having to spend time with people you might not choose to spend time with (9m27s)
Financial stress because of holiday spending (13m35s)
Feeling disconnected from the meaning of the season (18m05s)

Note: The time code after each of the topics above is the place in the audio where that particular tap-along begins. You will also find all four scripts below.

This is a crazy time of year...It feels like there are a million things going on...Parties that friends are throwing...Parties that work is throwing...Pageant that kids are in...It feels as if every time I look at my calendar there is one more thing I have to do...It feels like a marathon...Not a celebration...And because we are going non-stop it's hard to appreciate each event...Some of the events I feel like I have to show up to...And not that I want to be there...Not that I enjoy it...But it is a requirement...Because it's a requirement stacked on top of many other requirements it's anything but fun...It's anything but enjoyable...I even start to resent it...I give myself permission to know that I am allowed to say no...I give myself permission to know I don't actually have to do everything...I give myself permission to know I'm allowed to leave early...I don't have to stay until the bitter end...Just because I was invited doesn't mean I have to say yes...Many of the things that I miss notice no one will even notice...Because everybody is overly busy...I give myself permission to know it is OK for me to take care of myself...It's OK for me to focus on my own family and not feel like I have to do everything...Many of the people who have invited me places will actually enjoy it a lot more if I visit them in January...When nobody feels overwhelmed by the holidays...This holiday season I give myself permission to take care of myself...To say no to the things that are not helpful or healthy for me to do.

I recognize the fact that I'm going to be spending some time with people I don't necessarily like...I'm going to be spending time with them because I've chosen to do that...Because I've decided it's the right thing to do during this holiday season...But by choosing to be there I'm not saying I agree with their world view...I'm not saying that I want to spend lots of time with them...I know that there are going to be moments where they are going to say or do something that really frustrates me...That they are going to do something that drives me crazy...More than likely I will do something that drives them crazy as well...I recognize the fact that I am allowed to navigate this in a way where I'm putting my safety and health first...I give myself permission not to engage...I give myself permission to get up and leave the room when necessary...I give myself permission to know it is OK to leave early if I know I have to...Just because I'm interacting with someone does not mean they have to take up a huge amount of space in my head...Or a huge amount of space in my heart...Sometimes we decide it is best to show up places where there are people we don't get along with...I don't have to do this every day...I don't have to do this all the time...I give myself permission to not worry about it...I give myself permission to let it go the instant I walk out the door...it is OK for me to take care of myself...It is OK for me not to engage...It is OK to let this pass until I have to do it again next year...Hopefully in the next year we will all have evolved and our interaction next time will be better

I recognize I spend a lot more money during the holiday season...On the gifts that I give...The social events that I attend...The food that I bought...All of this can create a great deal of stress...I recognize the fact that much of the spending that I do is on things that I feel like I have to do...That I don't have a choice...That I don't have an option...That it is something I must do or other people will judge me...Because I didn't give the right gifts...Or I didn't give the right amount of gifts...The reality is that most of the gifts that we receive...And most of the gifts we give...Are forgotten about very quickly...Because we already have so much stuff in our lives...We might appreciate it in the moment...But then it just joins everything else that we own...I give myself permission to be much more thoughtful about my buying decisions...To be to be much more thoughtful about the choices I make...Knowing that I can give less more thoughtfully...Still letting the people I love know I love them...I give myself permission to let go of the guilt which is compelling me to buy more...It just wants me to be safe...By acting like everyone else...I give myself permission to know I don't need to do that...I can be thoughtful...I can be deliberate about it...I can give good gifts that I am proud of and spend less...I give myself permission to let go of the social conventions of what we are supposed to give...And give in a way that makes sense to me

I recognize the fact that the holidays will become very commercialized...Recognize the fact the holidays have become super busy...And it is so easy to get caught up in the obligations, it is easy to get caught up in all of the details...This holiday season I give myself permission to carve out the time that is necessary for me...To appreciate the season for what it really means...To connect with my family traditions...To connect with my loved ones...And to connect with my spiritual beliefs...To take time to reflect...To take time to appreciate...To take time to be in the moment...Even if I have to schedule that quiet time on my calendar...I give myself permission to be deliberate and intentional...To let go of the craziness...To let go of the hubbub...And to be fully present to what is going on...To be fully present to what I want to experience...I give myself permission to make the holiday season about the part of it that is important to me...To be present in the way that I want to be present...And not be wrapped up in all of the craziness and the details

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I have found in my own life that one of the most powerful emotions is gratitude. When we feel a sense of gratitude, even during trying times, it moves us to a disposition of possibility.

It is important to note that this is not some fake, Pollyannish sense of hopefulness. It is possible to have a healthy sense of what is truly going on in our lives and be thankful at the same time.

Here is a very simple tap-along to help you to connect with a healthy and genuine sense of gratitude.

I recognize the fact that my life is not perfect...I recognize the fact that the world is not perfect...I recognize the fact there are lots of things that I would change if I could change them...I know the lives around me aren't perfect either...But at the exact same time I appreciate the fact that there are many things that are good...There are many things that are great...Even though my body is not perfect...I am thankful to have a body to move through this world with...Even though my mind is not perfect I am thankful for my creativity...Even though my relationships aren't perfect...I am grateful for my ability to connect with others...Even though my interactions with others aren't perfect...I appreciate the fact that there are others who inspire me...I know the world is not perfect...But I can be thankful the exact same time...I am thankful for life...I'm thankful for choice...I am thankful for opportunity...I am thankful for inspiration...I am thankful for education...I am thankful for healing...I am thankful for transformation...I am thankful that I can learn from others...I am thankful that I can be challenged...I am thankful for a new day...I am thankful for a new opportunity...I am thankful for rest and relaxation...I am thankful for people in my life...I am thankful for challenge...I am thankful...I am thankful for time to be thankful...I am thankful...I am thankful...I am thankful...I am thankful.

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33% off Pain Relief Miracle | 10 Part Guide To Ending Self-Sabotage

Note: This week's topic is so important that I have written an article and recorded a podcast. The article shares the same ideas, but is not a transcript of the podcast. This way you can choose the form that works best for you. The tapping script is identical in the article and podcast.

I think being selfish gets are really bad rap. Most people think that being selfish is bad. We are taught we must not be selfish, but instead we must be giving.

Personally don’t believe selfish and giving are opposite.

Instead, I believe that every act I make is a selfish act because it is a self-defining act. Let me give you a few ridicules examples to help prove my point.

Right now as I type the article I am taking a deep breath in which means I am being selfish. There is no other reason to breath than to stay alive. That is very selfish.
When I choose to love my family I am being selfish because I want to be a loving person. When I choose to love someone (and it is a choice) I am defining myself as a loving person.
When I choose to run my practice and help other people I am being selfish because I am choosing how I use my time. Yes I am helping people, and that is a great thing, but I am not healing them. That is their choice. I am just a guide in the process. They are being selfish when they choose to heal. I am being selfish when I choose to articulate who I am as person who guilds people on this path.

Yes, I know these examples are extremes, but I think they bring out the point because we think of being selfish in such extreme terms.

Not only is it okey to be selfish, it is impossible not to be selfish because every action we make with our conscious choice is a self-defining act.

When I work out to get healthier I am being selfish because I could be doing other things with my time. When I study a new skill I am being selfish to make myself a different type of person later. I am being selfish when I take a nap so I can be more present to my clients later this afternoon.

It is okay to be selfish.

The reason you are still feeling uncomfortable every time you read that is because it is very easy to believe that selfish equals greedy, mean, heartless, and willing to hurt other. We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves we are never going to be able to take care of others.

We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves then we aren’t taking care of ourselves. We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves we are never going to grow and heal in to who we truly are.

Yes, I know you are still resisting this. That is okey. Tapping for this might sound like:

I don’t want to be selfish…because I need to care for other people…there are people who have it so much worse than I do…that I can’t ask for anything more or better…and the things I have…I have squandered…it would be really selfish to ask for more…but I choose to know that selfish means I am making self defining act…every choice I make is a selfish act…I can love someone else and be selfish…because I want to be love…I can care for someone else because they are in need and be selfish…because I want to be giving…this doesn’t take anything away from those loving acts…this doesn’t mean they are less valuable…it just mean that when I am share I am also defining myself…it is okay to want better for myself…because I can then share with other…it is okay to want more for myself because then I can share more of the self with others…I am worthy of taking care of myself…that is not greedy…that is being healthy….I need to be healthy…I must be healthy…it is okay that I don’t think being selfish is a bad thing…I don’t want to be mean…I don’t want to be greedy…but those are not the same a selfish…to be selfish is to choose to be the type of self I want to be.

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10 Part Guide To Stopping Self-Sabotage | 33% Pain Relief Miracle

When we are in a great deal of emotional or physical pain it can be a struggle to believe it can get better. We might believe that our situation can be manageable, but we have lost hope in true transformation.

Once we feel hopeless, our natural state is not to take action. Subconsciously we understand that if better isn't possible, then taking action will be a waste of time. We choose to do nothing in order to save fruitless effort.

Julie Schiffman has come up with the perfect tapping tool for times like these. Instead pushing ourselves to what feels unreasonable, it is a form of tapping were we simply wonder "what would happen if" our situation were to change.

It is a very gentle tool that will move us from hopelessness to action. In this conversation not only does Julie share how to do it, she gives a great demonstration to which you can tap along.

Guest: Julie Schiffman

Contact: web @ JulieSchiffman.com; e-mail @ julieschiffman@yahoo.com; phone @ 847-219-4754; facebook @ Julie Schiffman EFT; twitter @ Julieschiffman1

About: Julie Schiffman is an Expert EFT Practitioner with 20 years of experience. Julie obtained her Masters Degree in Social Work in 1992 from the University of Illinois. She has been practicing at Dr. Mercola's Center for Natural Health in the Chicago area for 11 years and also has a private practice. During this time Julie has worked with literally thousands of people including children, adolescents and adults by helping them break through the subconscious patterns that keep them stuck both physically and emotionally.

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Anything that is new and different takes time to be accepted into the mainstream. EFT is no different.

EFT has the added hurdle of often being paired with other practices and modalities that are outside the mainstream.

In this conversation I talk with Manal Khalife about how we can best present EFT to individuals and communities who would not see the value of tapping, and might even perceive it as dangerous.

Guest: Manal Khalife

Contact: Web @ ManalKhalife.com/; twiter @ iammanalk; facebook @ iammanalk;

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There is so much of the world that we do not control. We are surrounded by people, just like us, who are making choices and exercising their free will.

In many ways, we can't escape the impact of other people's choices, especially when we are collaborating with others.

That means we often have to wait on someone else to make a choice so that we can move forward with what we want to do. We can be worried that they will make a choice that we don't like OR we can feel stuck because we can't do anything until they choose.

Here is a simple tap-along to find peace while waiting on others to choose.

A full transcript of the tap-along can be found below the player.

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Once we have learned a basic skill, our ability to be successful while doing that skill is very dependent on how we are fteeling at the time of performing the action.

If we feel confident, we will perform to the best of our ability and will be able to handle problems with grace and ease. If we feel worried or overwhelmed, we will make mistakes and not perform at our best.

Gina Parris works closely with business professionals and athletes to help them to work at their peak state. In this conversation we talk about what can get in the way of peak performance and how we can use tapping to perform better.

Guest: Gina Parris

Contact:
web @ GinaParris.com web @ WinningAtRomance.com

About Gina: Gina Parris is a speaker and performance coach. She works with competitors who want to play at their peak under any pressure. Gina is an expert on overcoming performance anxiety - whether in your most public performance or in your most “intimate” game. Gina has been a practitioner of EFT since 2004.

[Note:* As we talked about in this interview, there are many reasons why we might feel worried when we are taking action. If you are finding that anxiety is holding you back from taking action I would encourage you to check out the Ruach Center. There are over 160 tap-along audios designed to help you get out of your own way and take the action you want.]***

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Fear is one of our most primitive defense mechanisms. It is the reason that humans as a species exist. Our ability to notice danger and to feel are what keep us safe.

The problem is that we don't live in the same world we did 10,000 years ago. We no longer need to be on guard at all times for fear of being eaten by wild animals.

The way we feel fear has not evolved to match the world we live in. Because of this, our subconscious disposition is towards fear.

This makes openness, connection, and love harder.

This week I have a conversation with Rick Wilkes about fear, love, the primitive brain, and how we can use EFT to transform our daily experience to be filled with more love and more connection.

Guest: Rick Wilkes, LMT

Contact Info: thrivingnow.com, Rick@Thrivingnow.com, 1-828-357-4674 or 1-888-222-3856

Bio: Rick Wilkes is an EFT practitioner based in Asheville, NC. Over the last six years Rick has worked with more than 1500 clients. He works regularly with individuals and with his Thriving Now Groups.

Here's what one of Rick's loyal clients says: “Working with Rick Wilkes both privately and on team calls has helped me greatly to release the past, move more confidently into the future, and mostly to be more joyfully present in the now. Rick’s open-hearted broader perspective, amazing intuition, and great sense of humor always help me to get right to the core and effectively reframe whatever issue I have. Listening to him work with others has helped me to get in touch with stuff I didn’t even know was there and inspired me in my own work with others. It is a blessing and honor to work with such a master.”

Rick's articles, programs, and products Thriving Now

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Healthy boundaries are important for our wellbeing, both in the short and long term.

The struggle comes when we encounter someone in pain. As caring people it can feel cold and heartless to create a boundary of any sort in this setting.

This week I talk about how to create boundaries in a way that allows us to be loving, supportive people while also taking care of our own health. Then we do some tapping for the resistance to creating boundaries.

I recognize the fact there is a swirl of information that is around me every single day...If I absorbed every piece of information and if I absorbed every emotion everyone experienced...Then it would be way too much...It would be overwhelming...It would be all-consuming...It would be impossible for me for me to be able to provide aid...I give myself permission to know that when I create good boundaries...I am not blocking the world out...I am not preventing those I need to be present to from having access to me...Instead I am making sure that when it is time for me to be fully present to someone in front of me that I can be fully present...As I start this day I give my sister permission to create helpful and helpful boundaries...To allow in the information that can make a difference...And to keep at bay any piece of information that is not useful to me...I know in doing this I am actually making a loving choice...Because I am ensuring that whenever I am present I am fully present...I trust my system to create helpful and helpful boundaries for me today.

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Tapping is a very effective tool for working with addictions. 12-step programs are very effective for working in addictions.

What would happed if you combined the two?

That is exactly what is covered in this interview. Gloria Arenson has decades of experience working with both and she talks about how the two approaches can complement each other.

Guest: Gloria Arenson, MS, LMFT, DCEP

Contact: web @ GloriaArenson.com; facebook @ gloria.arenson; twitter @ glotao

About: Gloria Arenson is a Marriage Family Therapist who has been in practice for over 30 years. She specializes in using Energy Psychology approaches to treat eating and spending disorders, stress, anxiety, panic, depression, phobias and relationship problems. Her extensive knowledge of addictive and compulsive behaviors led her to write: How To Stop Playing The Weighting, A Substance Called Food, Desserts Is Stressed Spelled Backwards, Born To Spend, EFT For Procrastination, and Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing.

She has appeared on major radio and TV shows including The Home Show with Gary Collins, Montel Williams Show, Leeza Gibbons, AM Los Angeles, CNN News, and more than fifty radio call-in shows throughout the United States and Canada.

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The emotional journey that mothers go through during the birth of their children is increasingly better understood. Birth is not only a physically taxing process, but it also takes a significant emotional toll.

Because there is now a tiny little human that needs so much attention, it is very common for mothers to neglect their self-care. In many cases mothers even feel guilty for having any needs at all.

This week I have a conversation with Manal Khalife about postpartum depression and how we can tap in response to it. Even if you are not a mother, you will find this conversation helpful as a guide to supporting those who are going through it.

Guest: Manal Khalife

Contact: Web @ ManalKhalife.com; twiter @ iammanalk; facebook @ iammanalk;

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There are times in our life where we feel like we are out of place.

We feel like we don't belong because don't feel like we are smart enough, popular enough, pretty enough, or something else enough.

When this happens to me there is a small part inside my mind that wished the earth would just open up and swallow me whole so I didn't have to be seen.

I recognize the fact that there are times where I feel like I don't belong in any meaningful way...I feel like I'm not smart enough...that i'm not good enough...that I'm not talented enough...that I'm just not enough...when this happens I simply want to disappear...when this happens I don't want to be known anyway...when this happens I wish I didn't have to be there at all...I feel insignificant...I feel scared...I feel like I'm only causing problems...I feel like I'm only a burden...I recognize the fact that when I'm in a situation like this I'm not actually standing out...I'm not actually being noticed...almost everybody present too busy thinking about themselves...is too busy thinking about what is in front of them then to even notice me...what much more important is the fact that I am worthy of being there...that I actually do belong...that actually do have something to contribute...the part of me that is scared remembers those times where I didn't fit in...where I didn't belong...or at least that's how I felt...when we feel like we don't belong we notice proof around us...that shows we don't below...there isn't actual proof...we are just drawing a conclusion that is far from the truth...I give myself permission to know that I am no different than anyone else I am around...I am worthy of being here...I belong to be here...I give myself permission to trust myself...to trust that I can stand tall...to know that I am worthy because I was made worthy...it is something that is intrinsic...it is something that is a part of who I am...even though there is a very young part of me that doesn't believe it to be so...this part is trying to keep me safe from all of the dangerous it sees in the world...I give myself permission to trust myself and to trust what is going on...knowing that I can be seen...knowing that I can be present...knowing that I'm capable of doing this...I give myself permission to trust the process and to trust myself...because there's a part of me that knows I belong…,there's a part of me that knows that I am worthy...there's a part of me that knows I have nothing to prove

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A few weeks ago I put out the call for your questions about EFT and how to best use it.

I received a number of amazing questions. (Note: If you would like a question answered on a future podcast please send it to me via this link)

In this episode I answer questions about:

The phrases I use when I tap.
Surrogate tapping for the physical and emotional needs of loved ones.
How to use the SUDs scale when you don't like using numbers.
Saying tapping phrases out loud when you are tapping alone.

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When Gary Craig first introduced EFT he very intentionally presented it in a way in that encouraged others build upon his work, much in the same way he had built upon Roger Callahan's Thought Field Therapy (TFT).

To stress this point, Gary named his new process Emotional Freedom Techniques. Please note the "s" on the end of Techniques, for all the different ways could be done.

Matrix Reimprinting, which was developed by Founding EFT Master Karl Dawson, is one of the best known of the EFT iterations.

In this interview we compare and contrast EFT to Matrix Reimprinting. Even if you have no plans to study Matrix Reimprinting, there are a number of tips you can take from this conversation to add to your tapping.

Guest: Karl Dawson

Contact: web @ MatrixReimprinting.com/; twitter @MatrixReimprint; facebook @ Matrix Reimprinting

About Karl: Karl Dawson is one of only 29 EFT Founding Masters. Over the last 12 years he has taught thousands of EFT trainees from all over the globe how to transform their physical and emotional health by releasing stress and trauma from their energy systems.

Karl’s first bestselling book, Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT, written with co-author Sasha Allenby was released in 2010. His second Hay House title Transform your Beliefs, Transform your Life, with co-author Kate Marilatt, was released in 2014.

Transform Your Beliefs, Transform Your Life

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Addiction to porn and sex can be crippling for individuals and devastating to couples. All types of addictions carry shame, but it is particularly acute where sexual and porn addiction are concerned.

In this conversation Dr. Doug Weiss and I talk about the environmental conditions that can contribute to a sexual and porn addiction, the impact that this type of addiction can have, and how it can be treated.

We also spend some time talking about those with partners suffering from sexual and porn addiction. Often times the loved one of addict doesn't realize that they need help as well. We discuss how the loved ones of addicts can get best care for themselves.

Guest: Dr. Doug Weiss

Contact: web @ DrDougWeiss.com; facebook @ Doug Weiss; vimeo @ DouglasWeiss; twitter @ drdougweiss

About Doug: Doug is the President of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy (AASAT). He has developed the Sex Addiction Training program to train therapists and coaches how to treat sexual addiction. The program uses Doug's methodology and modality, as well as his clinical application for treating sexual addiction, providing proven treatment for sexual addiction recovery. He is also Executive Director at Heart to Heart Counseling Center for more than 20 years where he has the opportunity to see many men and women walk in freedom from their sexual addiction.

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Before I commit to working with a new client we have a conversation to see if we will be a good fit for each other. First, I ask the potential client what they would like to change in their life. At this point they usually give me a clear description of what is wrong and I follow up by asking what they would like instead.

They are often unable to answer the question because they are so stuck in their problem that they can't clearly see what they would like instead. Without a clear understanding of what we want it’s hard, if not impossible, to move forward.

One the key components of knowing what we want is having a clear idea of what we value. JB Glossinger found that once he was able clearly to name his top six values, changing his life and his lifestyle became much easier.

In this conversation JB and I talk about the importance of naming our values, how to do just that, and how we can take action after our values are clear.

Guest: JB Glossinger, MBA, Ph.D

Contact: web @ glossinger.com; facebook @ JBGlossinger; twitter @ morningcoach

About JB: JB is a self-described "archaeologist of life", who has studied human potential, performance, and happiness for over 40 years. He is widely beloved as the MorningCoach, with a daily podcast that has been downloaded over 17 million times. JB is a sought-after motivational speaker and coach with an international following. The Sacred Six is his first book for Hay House.

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Even those just starting out with tapping know that Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) works via the meridian system. I know that when I am explaining tapping to the uninitiated I will just say, "It is like acupuncture without needles."

When Roger Callahan first developed Thought Field Therapy (TFT), the precursor to EFT, he devised a system of tapping in which specific points were matched to particular issues.

When Gary Craig developed EFT he decided that instead of determining which exact point would be best to tap on, it would be better just tap on all of them.

For years I have wanted to learn more about the complexities of the meridian system. I have also wondered if that knowledge might improve my tapping. In this week’s podcast my conversation with Beth Kearn, an acupuncturist, helped me to figure that out.

Guest: Beth Kearn

Contact Beth: web @ louisvillewellcenter.com

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My favorite phrase that I hear from my clients when we are in the middle of a session is "this probably has nothing to do with it, but…" and then they share some story that seems unconnected. We usually find that a story coming out of left field like this has everything to do with it.

It never ceases to amaze me how much we carry our past into each moment of our lives and how much that past impacts us. I have spoken to a number clients in the last few weeks who have felt that they weren't worthy of something good in the present because of a poor choice they made in the past.

It is important that we take responsibility for our choices, but that does not mean that we have to remain a prisoner to our choices for all time. Here is a tap-along to help you face those past choices of which you are not proud.

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It is natural to want credit for the work that we do. Being given credit and recognition feeds our healthy human need for being acknowledged as significant. It’s normal to want to feel as though your contribution matters.

Conflict can come up when we do not receive the credit we feel we deserve. When there is a sense of unfulfilled deserving it’s easy to feel hard done by, which in turn can give rise to bitterness and resentment.

This week I have a tap-along audio to help you when you are feeling bitter and resentful about not receiving the credit you are due. Even if this isn't an emotion you are aware of on the surface, I am willing to bet that is lurking at a deeper level.

Do you have a question about tapping or topic you would like us to cover? Ask here!
Download your free 10 part guide to stop self-sabotage with EFT
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We can find ourselves in the middle of catastrophe in an instant. A catastrophe can impact us personally (like a fire in our home) or can involve our entire community (like a natural disaster or mass violence).

When this happens we are faced with dealing with the issue in the moment and also its aftermath.

In this conversation Jenn Goddard and I talk about how to respond in the moment, what to do in the short term, what to do in the long term, and how to gain perspective. We also do some tapping which could be helpful in such circumstances.

This audio can be used two ways. First, it is useful to equip yourself with tools so that if you find yourself in a catastrophic situation, you are prepared. Second, in the middle of something tragic the tap-along will provide relief.

Guest: Jenn Goddard

Contact Jenn: web @ AriseToday.com; twitter @eft_coaching; radio show @ EFT Tapping Team

About Jenn: Jenn lives and works in Orlando, Florida. She is an EFT expert practitioner and trainer through AAMET, a Matrix Reimprinting practitioner and trainer, a certified hypnotherapist, a certified NLP master practitioner, and a student of MetaHealth.

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There is a complicated relationship between reality and what we believe about the world. We behave as if our beliefs are true. We act as if our beliefs are reality. On a subconscious level we experience our beliefs as reality, which can create complications in daily life.

In this interview with Steve Wells we talk about:

the five categories of beliefs
how these beliefs impact us day to day
how to identify beliefs that are inaccurate or no longer useful
how to transform unuseful or unhealthy beliefs

One of the reasons I love interviewing Steve is because he has such a practical approach to transformation. This interview is no different and you will be able to put into action what he recommends right away.

Guest: Steve Wells

Contact: web @ EFTDownunder.com; email @ admin@eftdownunder.com; More interviews with Steve @ TappingQ&A

About Steve: Steve Wells is an international leadership coach and peak performance consultant based in Perth, Western Australia. He helps people to overcome the hidden blocks to achieving their goals and getting what they really want from life.

Steve was one of the first to apply tapping to performance enhancement work with elite athletes and to take tapping to the corporate environment. He regularly teaches and consults worldwide with elite sport and business achievers to improve their performance and enhance the performance of their teams.

Steve is co-creator (with Dr David Lake) of the user-friendly tapping approach Simple Energy Techniques (SET) and the unique advanced Energy-based approach Provocative Energy Techniques (PET). He has helped thousands of people through his worldwide personal development and professional training workshops.

Steve is on the faculty of the Curtin University Centre for Entrepreneurship, where he presents to business owners and senior leaders on peak performance and resilience. He is also on the faculty of the Emotional Intelligence Institute. He is co-author of 4 books, including Enjoy Emotional Freedom.

Steve's programs and presentations are always inspiring, engaging and filled with powerful practical strategies you can use immediately to get better results - with less stress. More information on Steve and his programs can be found at eftdownunder.com and stevewells.com.au.

Steve have been a guest on the podcast many time. Make sure you check out his past interviews.

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Responding to the consequences of sexual violence is complicated. First, it can affect those parts of life related to sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. Second, sexual violence doesn't have include physical violence to be damaging and violating. There are many times when victims don't recognize that they have been victimized.

In this conversation with Alina Frank we talk about the ways that sexual violence can impact lives and how we can work towards healing these wounds.

This is a frank conversation about a difficult topic. If you are not comfortable or it is not safe for you to listen to this type of conversation, then please make sure you make a good, healthy choice.

Also, this is provided as information and is not a substitute for treatment. Sexual violence (and related issues) can be very complicated it is best to seek help from a qualified professional when working on any kind of sexual trauma.

Guest: Alina Frank

Contact Alina: web @ TapYourPower.net; twitter @tapyourpower; email @ here

About Alina: Alina Frank is a highly sought after international EFT and Matrix Reimprinting trainer. Her trainings provide continuing education credits for many healing arts professionals including social workers and massage therapists. Along with her husband, Dr. Craig Weiner, Alina Frank runs the EFT MBA program which focuses on business and marketing skills for new or struggling EFT coaches. Through their annual tapping conference in the Pacific NW they've raised thousands of dollars for continuing EFT research.

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When we are in the middle of a strong emotion it is hard to believe that our emotional state is a choice. In those moments it feels like an outside force has taken over our body and our experience.

It is possible for us to gain more control over our emotional state and even get to a point where we are able to choose our emotional response.

In this conversation Deborah Miller and I talk about how we are impacted by our emotions, what we can learn from that, and how we can change negative emotions into more positive ones.

This interview is filled with a number of tools that you can start using and tapping along to right away.

Guest: Deborah D. Miller PhD

Contact Deborah: website and Tapping Guides @ DeborahMiller.org

About Deborah: Deborah D. Miller, Ph.D. in Cell and Molecular Biology is passionate about helping people feel empowered and capable of maintaining a healthy state of mind and body.

Deborah is the author of the beautifully illustrated book “The Dragon with Flames of Love”, (English: book | kindle; Español: libro | Kindle en Español; Français: livre ) which is dedicated to empowering parents and children facing the challenge of a serious illness in a way that provides relief and peace, and “Green Drink Red Drink”, which provides information and recipes on how to add healthy greens to your meals.

Deborah has been a guest on the Tapping Q&A Podcast a number of times. Make sure you check out her past appearances.

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We have control over very little in this world.

We can control our thoughts, actions, and emotional responses. And that is about it.

Because of this it is easy to feel overwhelmed by the barrage of negative news (of which we have had more than our fair share this week).

When I am able to recognize what I do control and how powerful that control can be in my own life, the easier each moment is and the more powerful my action becomes.

Here is a simple tap-along to help lift your mood (and bring hope) when it feels as if there is just too much to manage every day.

EFT For Emotions In The Wake Of Tragedy

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Before I ask a client what they want, I first ask them what they don't want.

We are often unclear about what we want. We only know and want to stop what is uncomfortable, disappointing, and displeasing.

In this conversation with EFT Founding Master Carol Look we talk about how we can use tapping to get clear about what we want and how to trust our judgment when we are making choices.

This may seem like a simple and obvious skill to master, but once you do it will make a huge difference in your daily interactions.

Guest: Dr. Carol Look

Contact: web @ CarolLook.com; twitter @CarolLookEFT;

Don’t forget to check out all of Carol's other podcast interviews

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When I talk about the tapping work I am doing on and for myself, the phrase I always return to is "being comfortable in my own skin". When I am comfortable with who I am in a situation, it is a lot easier for me to be my authentic self.

When I am my authentic self, I don't make perfect choices, but I am much more likely to make the choices and take the actions that I will be happy with in the big picture.

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to present at the Spring Energy Event outside New York City on this exact topic. In the presentation I share the reasons why we aren't comfortable in our own skin, how our life changes when we are, and a simple tapping exercise you can use to move towards being more comfortable in your own skin.

You can hear the full presentation here:

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The first set of EFT training videos were recorded by Gary Craig over 20 years ago. Gary developed EFT after he trained with Roger Callahan in the tapping protocol Thought Field Therapy, which was developed 10 years prior to that.

In the last 30 years there have been many names for and many presentations of tapping. This week I have a conversation with Gwyneth Moss about whether or not there are right or wrong ways to do tapping.

Guest: Gwyneth Moss

Contact: web @ EFThelps.com; email @ contact form; web @ Annual EFT Gathering

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Animals are highly perceptive when it comes to understanding human emotion. So much so that many animals will pick up and take on the emotions of the humans they are with the most.

In this week's podcast I have a conversation with Susanne Peach who has dedicated her career to working with and tapping for animals. She shares what happens when animals take on the emotions of their human companions and how best to tap for them.

Susanne's Contact Info: web @ Animaleze.com, phone @ 303.926.5414, e-mail @ contact page

About Susanne: Susanne Peach, Animal Energy Behaviorist, has been surrounded by animals her entire life. She has had the opportunity to study the energy of animals in many instances, from time spent on her godmother's farm in Germany to a designation as a certified wildlife rehabilitator. After successfully using EFT on humans, she learned by trial and error how to apply it to animals. She has dedicated her life to helping animals have emotionally happy and healthy lives, tapping for animals all over the world.

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As humans, one of our natural dispositions is to create stories about why the world functions the way it does. This is a primitive skill that kept our ancestors safe.

For example, when we see tracks in the mud we write the story "These tracks were created by a large animal that will mistake me for dinner. I had better walk in the other direction."

Because the function of these stories is to keep us safe, our subconscious mind is not satisfied if we don't have a story and will create one in its absence. That’s why our actions can be influenced and guided by stories that are not true.

This can happen with the stories we tell about ourselves about why we are the way we are and who we can be.

In this conversation, Jacqui Crooks and I discuss these stories we have about ourselves that are no longer true and useful. She also shares how we can transform these stories.

Guest: Jacqui Crooks

Contact Jacqui: web @ JacquiCrooks.com

About Jacqui: Jacqui is one of the pioneers in using Energy Psychology, finding EFT IN 1999. Her life's not been the same since! She is an international speaker and trainer and an EFT Founding Master. She specializes in helping people to change limiting beliefs and old family and ancestral patterns that create self-sabotage and keep people stuck. Her background is in Ericksonian hypnotherapy and NLP, and through the development of unique ways of combining EFT with hypnotic language and NLP Jacqui is able to help effect deep level changes quickly and easily without trauma. She runs retreats in interesting places and trains EFT, worldwide. She presents at conferences and is one of the authors of EFT and Beyond.

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One of the reasons that EFT is so powerful is because of how easy it is to use, anytime, anywhere. You don't need someone else to tap with and it is super easy to have a daily tapping practice.

But sometimes that is not enough. Sometimes you need help from the outside. It can also be beneficial to take time away from your daily life to work in a concentrated way.

This week I talk with Joanne Callahan about the importance and power of going on a healing retreat.

Guest: Joanne Callahan, MBA

Contact: web @ Thought Field Therapy; web @ Well-Being Retreat

About Joanne: Co-developer of Thought Field Therapy with her husband Roger, and CEO of Callahan Techniques, Ltd.

Joanne Callahan, is a graduate of the University of California Santa Barbara and received her MBA in Healthcare Administration from California State University San Marcos.

Joanne Callahan is Director of the Thought Field Therapy Training Center and publisher and co-editor of The Thought Field, a quarterly newsletter.

She is trained in TFT at the Advanced and Voice Technology™ levels and the only person other than Dr. Callahan certified to teach all levels of TFT.

Joanne Callahan co-authored Thought Field Therapy and Trauma: Treatment and Theory, and the recently revised Stop the Nightmares of Trauma (with Forward by Jack Canfield, co-author Chicken Soup for Soul® Series), and Chapter 12, Thought Field Therapy: Aiding the Bereavement Process, in Death and Trauma: The Traumatology of Grieving.

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Just because you know the basics of EFT doesn't mean that you can use it effectively when tapping on your own.

This week in the podcast I talk to Ann Adams, who I believe is one of the best EFT trainers in the world. In our conversation we talk about the roadblocks people run into when they are tapping on their own.

In her typical fashion, Ann provides very practical ways to be more effective with your tapping. Even if you are an old pro with tapping you will find ways to be more effective.

Guest: Ann Adams

Contact: web @ FromTheDeskOfAnnAdams.com

About: Ann Adams’ vision is to train and mentor EFT practitioners and other helping professionals to integrate the powerful tool of EFT into their existing toolkit in the most effective way so that the work they already do with others becomes even more powerful, effective and efficient. She offers several EFT workshops per year. She’s known for her ability to explain concepts clearly and make learning new skills fun.

Ann is known as THE EFT Master Trainer; she is uniquely qualified to teach and mentor others. Ann has almost 40 years of experience in clinical social work, as a therapist, trainer, supervisor and administrator. Ann has supervised dozens of therapists and staffed thousands of client cases while working in the mental health field.

Ann was awarded EFT Cert-Honors in Gary Craig’s EFT practitioner program. She worked closely with Gary Craig, EFT’s founder, in several EFT projects including serving as the Director of the former EFT Masters Program.

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A reality of modern life is our connection with others on social media. Social media in itself isn't good or bad; it's simply a tool we can use.

On one hand social media channels can help us to find information we wouldn't know about, stay connected to loved ones, and connect with like minded people we wouldn't have met otherwise. On the other hand it can create a flood of information that can overwhelm us. Every time we check in we can see how others are doing so much better than us, which can create a feeling of shame.

This week I have a conversation with Jenn Goddard about how we are impacted by social media and how we can tap to have a healthier experience with social media.

Guest: Jenn Goddard

Contact Jenn: web @ AriseToday.com; twitter @eft_coaching; radio show @ EFT Tapping Team

About Jenn: Jenn lives and works in Orlando Florida. She is an EFT expert practitioner and trainer through AAMET, a Matrix Reimprinting practitioner and trainer, a certified hypnotherapist, a certified NLP master practitioner, and a student of MetaHealth.

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[33% Your First Pain Relief Miracel Order]

If I were to sum up all of my own personal development work for the last decade I would say it has been a process of becoming more "comfortable inside of my own skin".

For me that phrase describes not only being OK with myself, but being in a place where I recognize my own worth and feeling comfortable in acknowledging that worth. When I operate from that mindset I find that my daily life is easier and I make better choices.

When author Gala Darling talks about the same concept she uses the term "radical self love". In this week's interview we talk about what radical self love means to her and what we can do to have more of it in our lives.

One of the reasons that I wanted to interview Gala is because, unlike many of my interviewees, she is not a tapping practitioner but is someone who has found tapping to be a powerful tool in her own life.

Guest: Gala Darling

Contact: web @ GalaDarling.com; instagram @galadarling

About: Gala Darling is an author, teacher, and speaker who has been teaching radical self love — a selection of powerful techniques and tools which help women transform their lives — for close to a decade. Her site, galadarling.com, helps a million women a month find their voice, live without fear, and fall in love with life.

Born in New Zealand, she moved to NYC with one suitcase when she was 24 years old, and used radical self love to heal from an eating disorder and depression.

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There is an interesting phenomena that crops up when using EFT. Sometimes you can be using tapping successfully for a while, but then it stops working.

There are two main reasons why this happens. In this week’s podcast we are going to explore both of these reasons and what you can do to make your tapping effective again.

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[10 Question System | 33% off Pain Relief Miracle]

If you are wondering if you have emotional blocks to taking action, I have a very simple way for you to tell. If you know what you want to do, know how to do it, have everything you need to take action, and still don't do it, then you have emotional blocks to taking that action.

This week I interview EFT Universe's Dawson Church about what happens on a neurological level when emotions get in the way of action and how we can tap to find relief AND take action.

During the interview I refer to a process I use to tap for my to-do list. Here is full audio on how I tap for my to-do list.

Guest: Dawson Church, Ph.D

Contact: web @ EFTUniverse.com

Bio: Dawson Church is the author/coauthor of 8 books (including The Genie In Your Genes) and manages the web site EFTUniverse.com. He travels the world as a trainer and speaker. His passion is tapping and getting tapping into the hands of those who could benefit most from its power.

If you are interested in this type of research check out past interviews with Dawson.

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When I was in my twenties it felt as if I was going to live forever. I gave little thought to how I ate, when I went to bed, or how I treated my body in general. Now that I am in my forties there are mornings when I can tell exactly what I ate or drank the night before just by how my body feels.

I'm not exactly sure when it happened. One day I felt like I was immortal, the next day not so much.

In today's interview I talk with Gregg Levoy about the aging process, the emotions that accompany it, and how we can tap for that experience.

During this interview we reference this article: Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Guest: Gregg Levoy

Contact: web @ GreggLevoy.com

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[33% of Pain Relief Miracle]

I am constantly amazed at how willing parents are to put their children first. It’s common for parents to make sure their child's needs are met before they do anything for themselves. As well meaning as this is, it can cause problems in the long term.

By always putting their family first and not taking care of themselves parents can find themselves unable to be the best parent they could be. One of the most important ways that parents can take care of their children is to make sure they also take care of themselves.

This week I interview Heather Chauvin about how parents can use tapping to be better parents.

Guest: Heather Chauvin

Contact: web @: http://heatherchauvin.com; podcast @ Mom's In Control; Free Gift @ 21 Day Mom Is In Control Challenge

About Heather: Heather Chauvin has been named the next generation’s thought leader in parenting and women’s leadership. Her mission is to crack women open to their deepest potential and lead the life their soul craves. She reaches thousands of readers worldwide and leads innovative retreats and coaching programs that teach women to succeed in their most sacred work in parenting and business. Heather’s the creator of the New & Noteworthy Podcast, Mom Is In Control and has been featured on the OWN network, Huffington Post, TV outlets and others. Through her Courageous Rewrite Initiative, Heather has given voice to many humans who have courageously taking inspired action towards creating a life they’re proud of.

With wit and wisdom, Heather inspires a global community of women to take back control of how they want to lead, work, play and parent.

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[Comprehensive Anger Management For Free | 33% Off Pain Relief Miracle]

There is a very primitive part of our nature that knows we are safest when we belong. This instinct was a key to survival for our nomadic ancient ancestors who sought safety in numbers at times of danger.

While we no longer have to worry about being attacked by large animals, humans still have a strong instinct that tells us belonging means safety. This is one of the reasons it can feel so devastating when we let someone else down.

In addition to not living up to our work or their expectations, letting down others triggers the fear of ostracisation and we feel unsafe as a result. Even if this is far from the reality of a situation, it is often how we respond emotionally.

This week we tap for the fear of letting others down. Even if you can't think of a specific example in your life right now, it is likely that this issue is lurking below the surface. Take a few moments to tap along.

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[Gene's book Comprehensive Anger Management]

We all know that the more specific we can be when tapping, the more effective it will be. As a concept this is easy to understand, but in practice it is much harder to implement.

Humans are complicated creatures. We can talk about the difference between our mind, body, and spirit, but the lines between these three are blurry. As a simple example, the thoughts in my mind can impact my physical body.

To help manage the complicated system that we are, employing a healing framework as a lens to facilitate the healing process can be helpful. This week I have a conversation with Deborah Donndelinger about three such systems to help us find our way to root causes.

Deborah compares and contrasts the three, shares how to use each, and which might be most useful for you based on the issues you are tapping for.

Guest: Deborah Donndelinger

Contact: email @ deb@eftwithdeborah.com; web @ DeborahDonndelinger.com; facebook @ EFTwithDeb; phone @ 410-861-0333

About Deborah: Deborah is an EFT practitioner and personal development coach living in central Maryland. She works with clients, near and far, using tapping, human design, and other tools as they journey from self-judgement and doubt to trusting and understanding themselves. She's the creator and author of the book Family Energetics.

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Here in the United States it already feels as if the Presidential election campaign has been going on for way too long. And we still have eight more months to go. The lead story (and often the first five stories) on the nightly news is invariably about the election.

One of the most difficult parts of the election season is hearing most of the candidates talking about how bad everything is. They focus on negativity so that they can talk about how great they are and how they are the key to a brighter future. This sustained daily dose of negativity can take an emotional toll.

This week I chat with Brad Yates about how we can participate in the process fully without being overwhelmed by the negativity.

I have a feeling this is an interview you will come back to a number of times throughout the election season.

Guest: Brad Yates

Contact: twitter @EFTWizard; web @ TapWithBrad.com; facebook @ facebook.com/BradYatesTapping

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One of the reasons that we love tapping so much is its versatility. Because we can use tapping in so many different settings it can often be confusing to know exactly how to tap in a given moment.

For example, there is a huge difference between tapping with someone who is emotional in a public setting versus working with a client one-on-one in the safety of a practitioner's private office.

Our primary goal when tapping with someone in a public setting or when we have limited time to deal with an issue is to return the person we are working with to a state of calm. By doing this we can keep them safe and also avoid uncovering a bigger issue that can't be resolved in the moment.

Jondi Whitis has created a wonderful process, which she refers to as emotional first aid, which is a systematic way of helping someone to an emotionally safe space in public or in a short amount of time.

In this week's podcast she shares how the process came about and how you can ensure that you are tapping with others in a safe way.

Conversation with: Jondi Whitis

Jondi's Contact: web @ EFT4Results.com;

About Jondi: Jondi Whitis is a certified EFT Master Trainer, Practitioner, Mentor and Board Member for AAMET International, delighting in creating practitioners of excellence. She’s passionately interested in refining and up-levelling core EFT skillsets, cutting-edge techniques, and training for practitioners and trainers worldwide, upholding the most thorough and professional EFT standards. She offers deeply personal, hands-on training to anyone interested in heart-centered healing, from children to teachers, parents to professionals, and for diverse communities worldwide, including veterans, Native Americans, teachers, healthcare professionals, and those who work with kids. An ‘integration specialist’, Jondi enthusiastically guides each person to find authentic ways to integrate EFT into their purpose, professional practice and life. Join her in person, at the annual gathering just north of NYC, Spring Energy Event

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33% off Pain Relief Miracle | Tapping to stop self-sabotage

Not all physical pain is the same. Pain can have many different root causes ranging from physical wounds to emotional issues. Some pain passes as the body heals, while other pain in chronic.

In this week's podcast I talk to Dan Cleary. Dan was in a motorcycle accident which damaged his right arm. Because of the accident, to this day, the nerve connected to his right arm are being pulled from his spinal cord causing him great pain.

Because of this experience he has dedicated with work to helping people with pain. In this interview we talk about why he never uses the word pain management, the types of pain (chronic and acute), and how to approach each with tapping.

Guest: Dan Cleary

Contact Information: DanClearyHypnosis.com

Bio: Daniel F. Cleary, is an internationally recognized, Pain Relief Educator and Hypnosis Instructor. He provides individual and group programs in Pain Relief, Hypnotic Techniques, and Communication Skills, to Doctors, Psychologists, Therapists and Caregivers, throughout the United States, Europe and Australia,. His specialties include; Pain Relief, Personal Transformation, and Effective Communication. Dan lives in Hobe Sound, Florida and is available worldwide for phone and Skype sessions.

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Work with Gene | 33% off Pain Relief Miracle

Good communication is hard. It is easy to be misunderstood because we all understand specific words in different ways. I can say one thing and yet you may understand something completely different.

More than likely when you think of allergies you imagine a runny nose because of flower pollen, or someone having a dangerous reaction to eating nuts or shellfish.

For this week's podcast we are using a much broader definition of allergy. In this context we are talking about how when we encounter one substance it reminds us on a subconscious level of something negative. This is a subtle concept, but one that I have found to be important to health and healing.

To talk about this concept I turned to Sandi Radomski as it was her work that originally introduced me to this idea and informs my own work with kids who have been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.

In the interview we discuss a new way to look at the term ‘allergy’ and how you can approach allergies with tapping.

We talk about muscle testing in the interview. This is the resource I used to learn how to muscle test: Muscle Testing Vol 1 DVD and Muscle Testing Vol 1 - 4 digital download

The workbooks that I used (and still reference regularly) can be found on Sandy's website

Guest: Sandi Radomski

Contact: web @ AllergyAntidotes.com

About: Sandi Radomski wears many professional hats. She is board certified in social work, she is a psychotherapist, and she is a naturopathic doctor. Her background includes teaching in the University of Wisconsin medical school for eight years, doing biofeedback with pain patients for ten years, conducting research in psychoneuroimmunology to benefit children with cancer, and private practice.

Dr. Radomski has combined her medical background and her extensive training in Energy Psychology to create her Allergy Antidotes system for identifying and treating sensitivity reactions. She uses these techniques to treat autism, weight loss, learning and behavioral problems, anxiety, and depression. She was the first to use the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to balance the body's energy system in relation to a reactive substance.

Sandi is a national as well as international lecturer and trainer. Recognizing her significant body of work, Dr. Radomski received the “Award of Recognition from the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (ACEP) for her major contribution to the field of energy psychology" in 2015. Sandi is available for private sessions either by telephone or on Skype.

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Work with Gene - 4 Month Program Detials

In podcast #204 I showed you a straightforward technique that you can use to tune into the emotional states that you would like to have as you move through the day.

This week’s podcast is something I use to help me to tune into the type of person I would like to be. The script I have used is very personal and is inspired by my Catholic faith so I don't expect it to be helpful for everyone.

If it works for you, great!

If changing the language makes it work for you, great!

If it doesn't work for you at all, not to worry! Come back next week for something else that might be helpful.

The tapping script can be found below or you can download the pdf.

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The Center For Nonviolent Communication created one of my favorite tools, the feelings inventory, which I used a great deal when working with the incarcerated.

I found that the men I had the opportunity to work with lacked vocabulary when it came to describing emotions. Even though their emotional experience was highly nuanced, they had only a very limited way of talking about it.

Talking about and creating change is difficult with a limited emotional vocabulary because our experience can only be described in stark and blunt terms.

In working with these inmates I found that when I spent time with a comprehensive list of emotions it deepened my understanding of my own experience, which helped me to transform my emotional state.

This week I share a simple tool with you to help transform your emotional state. If you have ever thought "I don't know what to tap on" or "I don't know where to start" then this is the tool for you.

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Work with Gene one-on-one!

In my own life I have found that my level of confidence has less to do with how good I am at something and much more to do with how comfortable I am with myself at a given moment.

I think it is a mistake to believe that all we need to do is get better at something to be more confident. In reality confidence is all about who we allow to be the judge our success.

No matter how good we are we will not feel confident if we judge success based on what others think.

This week we tap to shift mentally how we see our actions moving from judging our success based on other's interpretation of events to our own.

33% off your first order of Pain Relief Miracle

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33% off your first order of Pain Relief Miracle

"In most pursuits, one's self is one of the biggest hurdles to get over. You can't pursue something and be committed to it if you're apologizing for it at every party." – Lisa Kudrow, Vasser Commencement Address, 2010

For some reason part of us believes that it is not proper to want more.

Maybe it is because we recognize that we already have it better than so many other people. Maybe it is because we have been taught that we should know our place. Maybe it is because we don't want to jinx our dream by saying it out loud.

Regardless of the reason, there is often something in us that feels ashamed of our dreams and ashamed of wanting more than we already have. Not only does this prevent us from striving for more, it also adds the emotional burden of feeling shame, my least favorite emotion.

Here is a simple tap-along to help you feel more comfortable with your dreams, which will lead to meaningful action.

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33% off first Order of Pain Relief Miracle http://tappingqanda.com/pain

As we move into the new year I am guessing you are like most people as you consider the goals you want to achieve in 2016.

EFT can be such a powerful tool in helping you make the changes you want in life and will have the highest impact when used daily.

Here is what you can do to set yourself up for success in the new year by establishing EFT as a habit.

http://tappingqanda.com/rc

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I hear it all the time from my clients when we are tapping together. We’ll finish a round of tapping and they will report that while we are tapping their critical voice is saying the exact opposite to our tapping phrases.

I know how frustrating this can feel, but in reality it is one of the best outcomes to happen when you are tapping.

That seems counterintuitive, but it is quite true!

Listen here to see why and how you can leverage this to get more out of your tapping.

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Making big decisions can be difficult because the choices aren't always clear-cut and there may be many pros and cons to consider.

When this happens it can cause us to seize up and fail to make a choice at all.

Here is a tap-along audio to help you clear your head and make the best choice you can.

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As humans we are skilled at learning from our past.

This also means that we can be overly critical and spend too much time beating ourselves up over poor choices we have made in the past.

Part of us resists self-forgiveness because of the concern that we will repeat the same mistake over and over again.

Here is a tap-along audio to help you stop beating yourself up for the past and know that you have learned the lessons from your mistakes.

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There is an amazing contradiction that exists for most people who use EFT. On one hand we know how powerful it is. On the other hand we don't use it as much as we could.

I have even heard many clients report that there are times when they actively resist tapping. Just last week I had a client tell me:

I knew I should tap because my emotions were getting the best of me. While thinking this there was a part of me that just said "No! I refuse to tap." It was almost as if there was a small child inside of me that was throwing a temper tantrum refusing to do it.

There is a very good reason why we resist tapping.

Here is why we struggle AND what you can do about it.

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Here in the United States the unofficial beginning of holiday season happens tomorrow with Thanksgiving.

As much fun as the holiday season can be it is also a time of stress and overwhelm.

There is a never ending list of tasks that need to be done to get ready for the holidays AND it seems every night of the week there is another holiday party to attend.

It can quickly become too much.

Here is a simple tap-along audio help you manage the holiday craziness.

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It is that time of year again (at least in the northern hemisphere) where every time you turn around there is another person coughing or sneezing.

I have found tapping is a great way to keep these seasonal bugs at bay and to help to get healthy once you have gotten sick.

This week I have the tapping script I use to get and stay health. I have provided both a pdf and audio of the script.

Please feel free to share these as far and wide as you would like.

Download the tapping script pdf!

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One of the most common questions I receive is “Where should I start? I have so many issues to tap on that I feel paralyzed. What should I do?”

This is a great question.

The truth is there is no one place to start, but it is much more important that you do start. I know how intimidating tapping can feel the first time you are trying it on your own. You want to get it exactly right. You feel self conscious because you it feel and looks weird.

As you do it, you will feel more comfortable. As you feel more comfortable, it will be easier to do.

In this week’s podcast I have for you a process that is great for new and experienced tappers alike. For new tappers it will provide a great guide to help you get your feet under you. For experienced tappers it will help to uncover new issues that need to be tapped on.

To do this process you will need to go to EFTSetupPhraseGenerator.com/

Listen to the podcast first, then go to the site to try it out.

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Recently I was reminded of the Joan Didon quote “Self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth.”

I find this quote so encouraging because helps me to recognize that self-respect is a point of view about myself that I can cultivate.

This week I have for you some tapping that will help you (and me!) recognize that we are worthy of self-respect. Below you will find both a tap-along audio and the tapping script.

I choose to know I am worthy of respect…I choose to know that I am worthy of respecting myself…I don’t need to do anything to prove that I am worthy of self-respect…I am made for self-respect…I don’t need to do anything to gain my self-respect…I know I am not perfect…I know I make mistakes every day…I know there are things in my life I would like to improve…Even though I am not perfect…I am worthy of self-respect…I am worthy of seeing that I am good…I am worthy of seeing that I am lovable…It is possible to see that I am worthy and still know that I would like better…By respecting myself I am not stopping my growth…By respecting myself I am not stopping my healing…Who I am is not determined by other people…Who I am is not determined by what others think…My value is not determined by other people…My value is not determined by what other people think…I choose to know I am worthy…I choose to know I am lovable…I choose to know that I am worthy of being heard…I am worthy even if I don’t believe I am worthy…My belief in my worthiness is not a prerequisite to my worthiness…I am worthy of respect even if I don’t believe it right now.

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In survey after survey public speaking finishes near the top of the list of people’s greatest fears. It’s a fear that can hold us back professionally and can cause us much anxiety and discomfort ahead of having to speak in front of groups.

Most basic tapping and EFT trainings teach that when we fear something we should look for the first time we had a bad experience. The problem with doing this when it comes to public speaking is that often the moment in our past that taught us that public speaking was dangerous had little or nothing to do with public speaking.

In this week's conversation I talk with EFT Founding Master Tania A. Prince about the many different root causes that can lead to a fear of public speaking and how we can tap for them.

Guest: Tania A. Prince EFT Master

Contact: web @ eft-courses.co.uk, e-mail @ contact page

Biography: Tania is an EFT Master (one of fewer than thirty in the world). She has extensive experience of using EFT with clients and has worked on a vast range of issues, including fear of public speaking, blushing, panic attacks, success coaching, phobias, depression, addictions, anxiety, weight management, agoraphobia and serious illnesses, etc. She works from two clinics in Cheshire, England as well as working with clients throughout the UK and internationally via the phone. Her work has been featured on TV and radio shows both in the UK and abroad. She presents regularly at major international conferences and is a TAT Professionals Trainer.

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(At least here in America) one of the most common pieces of advice you’ll hear for overcoming fear is to "just grit your teeth and fight your way through it!"

That advice is plain silly!

Fear is not something we should simply muscle through. Instead, it is a primitive emotion that does everything it can to keep us safe.

This week I have a conversation with Dr. Mary Ayers who was in exactly that situation. She had to do something that scared her and was told by those around her that she just had to overcome the fear and get on with it.

She decided to take another path. She faced the fear head on, figured out why it was there, and removed it. Not only does Mary share her own experience of transforming fear, she shares how she did it AND how you can do it too.

Guest: Dr. Mary Ayers

Contact: web @ TapIntoAction.com; web radio @ The Chickenshits Guide to Success; facebook @ Tap Into Action

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[This week's podcast is sponsored by Pain Relief Miracles. Receive 30% off your first purchase.]

Perfectionism is tricky.

At its core perfectionism is motivated by wanting everything to be just perfect, because when everything is perfect it becomes manageable.

Making life manageable is great but the problem is that it will never be perfect. And when things are not perfect we can very easily fall into beating ourselves up for “failing” to meet impossible standards.

This week I have a tap-along to help us be gentler with ourselves for not being perfect, and to forgive ourselves for being unable to reach unattainable goals.

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It is not uncommon for us to pick up the emotional beliefs or emotional burdens of our loved ones. In most cases we don't even realize we are doing it.

Emotional beliefs are often formed when we are children because we are so impressionable at a young age. We usually shoulder the emotional burdens of loved ones out of the desire to care for or protect them.

At a certain point we realize that we must let these go in order to be healthy. This week I have a tap-along to help you to release emotional burdens and beliefs that are not serving you.

Even if you don't think you have experienced either of these I encourage you to tap through this audio because we often don't realize what we are carrying emotionally.

I would love you to share your experience of this tap-along in the comments below.

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There two common misconceptions in understanding how grief affects us.

First, many people believe that the 5 stages of grief as defined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) are the way humans always experience grief. Second, many people believe that grief is only experienced around extreme events, such as the death of a loved one.

Grief is a much more complicated and subtle process than those two perceptions would lead us to believe.

In this week's interview with Sherry O'Brian we talk about the many different ways that we may experience grief and how we process it.

I am guessing if you haven't had a loved one die recently you are thinking that this podcast isn’t for you. But I encourage everyone to listen to this because more than likely grief is present in your life in an unexpected way and you will find this conversation very helpful.

Guest: Sherry O’Brian

Contact: web @ mindbodyspirit-innergrations.com

About: Sherry O’Brian, LCSW, DCEP is a psychotherapist who has assisted thousands of individuals within her workshops, groups, and private practice to transform their pain into possibility. The inspiration behind Peaks and Valleys: Integrative Approaches for Recovering From Loss is her passion to provide a larger audience with these tools of transformation. Sherry has also developed a meditation CD, Release and Transform Burden: a meditation to awaken the healing light within, to assist others with releasing emotional pain, and transform their lives.

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Sometimes we get caught up in our emotions and make poor choices that we later regret. We want to make the best choice, we know what the best choice is, and we still let our emotions get in the way.

We can know exactly what triggers us and even when we spend time tapping on an issue that triggers us emotionally, we can still find ourselves highly emotional in a moment when these issues come up again. This week I share how you can tap for these instances so that you will be happy with your choices as the emotions come up.

Make sure you listen to see why I have chosen the artwork in this post.

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My clients are always telling me that they would like to tap every day but have a hard time making it a habit.

One of the reasons I think people struggle with creating a daily tapping habit is that they don't know what to tap for. And because they don't know where to start they feel silly or frustrated and so they don't do it.

My friend Wendy Merron has created a wonderful tapping process for the beginning and ending of the day that she calls "AM/PM Tapping". I love its simplicity and find that it’s the perfect way to start and end a day.

You can download a printout of the process here

Below you can hear Wendy describing the process and also hear us tapping through it so you can tap along too.

Contact: web @ TheCenterOfSuccess.com/ ; book @ Powerful Thinking on Purpose

About: Wendy Merron is a Board Certified Hypnotist (BCH), Certified National Guild of Hypnotist Instructor, Adjunct NGH Faculty Member, and founder of the Greater Philadelphia Chapter of the National Guild of Hypnotists. She teaches the NGH Hypnosis Training Course at The Center of Success. Nurses, students, therapists, and people interested in the power of hypnosis have come from as far away as The Netherlands to learn hypnosis at The Center of Success in Pennsylvania. In addition to her Hypnosis credentials Wendy Merron is recognized as an accomplished Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Certified Trainer and Practitioner. Emotional Freedom Techniques Courses are also taught at the Center of Success.

Wendy speaks and holds workshops based on her book, Powerful Thinking on Purpose.

Powerful Thinking on Purpose: How To BE More Positive and GET More of What You Want

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Our physical bodies are constantly communicating information to our conscious minds to help us navigate our daily lives. Some of this information is obvious and direct. For example, feeling pressure on your shoulder lets you know someone is touching us trying to get our attention, or we feel pain when touching something hot.

It also communicates is less obvious ways. We feel tension when we are stressed or heavy-hearted when we are sad.

Most of us are not as in tune with our physical bodies as we could be. Because of this we could be missing valuable information that our body is trying to communicate. In this conversation with Julie Schiffman we talk about how to be more in tune with our physical body and how we can use this information to accelerate the healing process.

Guest: Julie Schiffman

Contact: web @ JulieSchiffman.com; e-mail @ julieschiffman@yahoo.com; phone @ 847-219-4754; facebook @ Julie Schiffman EFT; twitter @ Julieschiffman1

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Back in July I shared a tap-along audio for the shame of making a bad choice. I was overwhelmed by the positive response I received.

This week we go a little bit deeper in responding to the emotion of shame.

I hope you enjoy this tap-along audio.

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Much of my client work revolves around helping people to take action. Most of my clients are trying to find a way to use their gifts and talents to help those around them in some way, but for some reason are holding themselves back.

This inability to act often stems from times in their childhood or more recent past where they were judged harshly by their loved ones for being different.

When this happens it makes perfect sense that they wouldn't feel comfortable using their giftedness in the present.

Today's podcast is a tap-along aimed at this exact issue. Even if you don't feel like this applies to you, you might be surprised how this type of experience may be impacting you subconsciously.

Take a few moments to tap along.

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Even though we don't consciously remember coming into this world, we are fully conscious in utero and at the time of our birth. Because we are conscious, these experiences contribute to how we build models of the world that impact the way we live our daily lives.

In this interview Sharon King shares how Matrix Reimprinting (a tool set that uses tapping) can be used to help clear these unconscious memories.

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We we are tapping we are trying to clear the trauma, events, and emotions that have come up in our lives causing us discomfort, disease, and limiting beliefs. If it is true that we can find our way to the moments that causes these issues then it must also be true that we can find our way to a time in our system before these moments.

Jacqui Crooks has developed a process which helps us to return to that original pre-issue state. Not only are we able to clear the issues but also reclaim that pre-issue state. In this interview she shares how we can access what she calls our original "blueprint".

Even though there is a blueprint of the shining essence of me and I forgot that that is who I am, I deeply and completely love, accept and forgive myself.

Even though I forgot, I now gratefully accept help from my guides, helpers, angels, source, my higher self and all parts of me, to help and support, while cleaning, clearing and repairing all damage to my chakras, aura or any of my bodies, so that I return wholly to that shining, glowing essence of who I am.

Even though I forgot, I'm choosing now, to align to that blueprint of my shining essence and I ask that this is fuelled so that it continues, in ways that I don't need to know, continually clearing the connection to source, so that I can continue to shine and glow and completely fill that me shaped space in the universe.

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When we introduce EFT to others it can catch them off guard. Most people have nothing to compare tapping to, which creates lots of questions.

It can be frustrating to lack a clear and believable way to talk about tapping that is appropriate for newcomers.

In this conversation Craig Weiner shares how we can explain EFT to others in a helpful and understandable manner.

[Note: If you are interested the scientific research around EFT check out this interview with Dawson Church.]

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I hate being wrong. I pride myself on making thoughtful choices and I work really hard to make sure I consider the best course of action and all the possible outcomes.

That doesn't mean that I expect myself to be perfect before I act (which is a different issue), but that I am really hard on myself when I make a mistake.

Especially a public mistake where others can see I messed up.

This week's podcast is about what comes up when we are dealing with the shame of making mistakes.

This is another example of me tapping for one of my own issues in real time. I hope you find it useful.

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EFT is a powerful tool for clearing trauma, but just because you know how to tap it doesn't mean that you have a clear understanding of how to tap for trauma.

Founding EFT Master Rehana Webster has created a systematic approach to tap for trauma.

In this conversation she shares the simple steps behind what she calls TBT (Trauma Busting Technique).

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The human memory is incredibly complex. As our understanding of the workings of the brain grows it is increasingly evident that the human memory can be very unreliable.

Even when we have total confidence in a memory we could be mistaken.

On some level most people are aware that their memory is fallible. This can cause clients anxiety when what feels like a new memory shows up in a tapping session.

These may have been repressed or they may also be false memories.

In this conversation with Sophia Cayer we discuss the nature of memory and how to respond to a memory that might be false.

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Over time we are going to change our minds. (At least, I hope I am changing my mind as I learn new things.)

And in a vacuum that seems like a good thing.

We are presented with new information and experiences. We re-evaluate the way we see the world and then we change our mind to think and act in a new way.

The problem is that we don't live in a vacuum. When we change our mind it doesn't only impact the choices we make, it also impacts the other people in our lives.

You might choose to leave a job, finish a relationship, or change the way you see God. When this happens the people in our lives may be impacted in practical or emotional ways.

Our loved ones may struggle because they have to change their understanding of who we are and how we see the world. They might not like our new choices or they might feel challenged by them.

In this week's podcast we tap for the difficulties around how others react to us when we make a significant change. This is also a great audio if you are struggling with a major change that someone close to you has made.

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There is a difference between filling your time with tasks and doing the tasks that are most important.

As a way of keeping ourselves from doing the things we don't want to do we often we find ways to fill our time with tasks to keep us busy.

In the long term this is far from helpful!

In this conversation with Brad Yates we discuss how we distract ourselves with busy tasks to keep us safe from might go wrong with the productive tasks. We also talk about how we can tap for this to change the way we work.

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Last month I attended a conference as a delegate, which is not something I do often. I attend around 20 conferences a year as a speaker and only one or two as an audience member.

I loved the conference and learned a lot, but there were a number of occasions when I found myself feeling jealous of speakers teaching things I already knew.

I was jealous of the platform they had and the admiration they were receiving from the audience. I was jealous of their professional success.

Jealousy is such an unproductive energy. We become obsessed with outside forces, we feel sorry for ourselves, and we don't take action.

In this audio you will hear me tapping in real time for my jealousy of others and how I managed to shift it into a more positive frame of mind.

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This is a chance to tap along to be ready for change.

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Something interesting happens when families get together where the adult children fall right back into the roles they had when they were 13 years old. (At least that is what happens in my family.)

This happens not only when a whole family comes together, but also within certain relationships. No matter how much growth we have gone through as an adult, we fall back into our old patterns.

In this interview Gary Williams talks about the stress that can be caused by the dominant personalities which ruled our responses as children and how we can tap for them.

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A few weeks ago I was at a conference in which Daniel Pink was talking about the sales process. One of the stories he talked about was a door to door brush salesman. He wasn't talking about someone from some bygone era.

He was talking about a man who in 2015 sells brushes door to door in the business district of San Francisco.

The salesman described his experience as "every day I face an ocean of rejection". I couldn't imagine an daily existence like that.

Fear of rejection is a powerful force in not taking action in both our professional and personal lives. "No" can feel like the scariest word in the English language.

Today's audio is another example of me tapping in real time for an issue that I struggle with. Take the time to tap along with me.

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When it comes to using EFT effectively I think that Jondi Whitis is one of the best. She is insightful, deliberate, and so compassionate. (She is also a great trainer if you are looking to up your tapping game.)

Every year she hosts a wonderful event outside NYC called the Spring Energy Event. (You should join the mailing list and come along next year!)

This year she gave a talk called "The Heart Of EFT!" It was one of the most thoughtful reflections I could imagine on the healing process. As I was sitting at the sound board making sure everyone could hear her clearly my thought was, "I have to share this on the podcast!"

Jondi was kind enough to allow me to share her talk here.

Take your time to savor this, it will inform not only the way you tap and the way you work, but also how you interact with others.

It is good stuff!

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I love receiving questions from my listener and readers. They help me to understand what the community needs and how I can best serve you.

You can always ask a question here.

The question I get more than any other is "What are the right tapping phrases for [insert issue]?" (emphasis added)

I can understand where this question comes from.

When most people learn EFT they are taught to say words. When we see an expert practitioner leading someone else we marvel at the "perfect" phrases they use in the moment.

This leads us to believe that there are perfect and right phrases.

In reality this is not the case. There are phrases that are more useful than others, but there is no right and wrong.

In this audio I will teach you some of the ways I come up with tapping phrases that will make your tapping more effective.

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Today's epidsode is sponsored by PRM

Over the last few years I have noticed a pattern with a number of my clients. It would play out something like this...

Client would come to me with an issue
We would work to find the root cause
They would have relief for a few weeks
The symptoms would come back
We would do more work looking for more root cause, but would find nothing

As I researched what all these clients had in common it turned out that all of them had come to me for an issue that had been with them a long time and the actions they were taking were no longer motivated by the root cause, but had instead become a habit.

In this audio from the 2015 Spring Energy Event I show you how this phenomina happens and 5 times you can do clear the habbit created by root issues after you clear the root issue.

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(Today's show is sponsprted by PRM)

One of the things that makes EFT so appealing is the fact that it can be easily combined with other tools and protocols. There are actually very people I know who do just EFT.

The problem with this for a newcomer to EFT is knowing what is EFT and what is the stuff that is put on top of EFT. This become even more complicated for Christians because often times the things that EFT is combines with are things that many Christians are not comfortable with.

Most people who visit this site don't know that since 1997 I have traveled the US and Canada working in Catholic youth ministry with the group APeX Ministries. We have work with hundreds of thousands of young people. We were even Pope John Paul II opening act in 2001.

Because of this I have had the opportunity to give a lot of thought to and have a lot of conversations about is it OK for Christians to be using EFT.

To be clear, I am not a theologian or am I an ecclesial minister (meaning I am commissioned by or speaking for the church). There are the questions I asked, the reasons I feel comfortable using EFT, and the setting I feel comfortable using it within.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

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This week's podcast is sponsored by Pain Relief Miracle. Click link for 20% off your order.

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make with tapping is the fact that they don't spend enough time with an issue to make sure that it is cleared.

Because tapping brings relief so quickly in the moment it makes it easy in the moment to feel like we are done with the issue, but in reality we often time aren't.

A good way to think of it is to compare it to cleaning a room. When you are cleaning you feel so good as you are making progress. You feel satisfied with a job well done.

Then you leave the room (even for a few moments). When you come back you realize the room wasn't was clean as you thought to begin with. It is not that the room got messier, but when you were cleaning the room you could see it was so much better than before.

Upon returning you were no longer comparing it to how bad it was, but instead you are seeing it for what it is.

When we tap the same thing happens. While tapping we are only comparing our current state to what we just moved through, but we don't always have a clear picture if we have done enough.

In this week's podcast I share how we can know if we are 100% (and if we even need to be 100% clear).

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I am always amazed at how willing my clients are to share some of the most private parts of their lives.

Once we have established a trusting relationship, during sessions I hear it all. That is a really good thing because it makes it easier for me to help them because we know what we are going after.

Even with that being true, the one issue that my client have the hardest time sharing about is loneliness.

As we become more emotionally intelligent it is easier and easier for us to be honest with where we are coming from. Still loneliness feels like the last emotion that we can be honest about.

Loneliness feels like such a failure on our part. Especially when we feel it in a room full of people.

Here is some tapping that you can do to help with the ache of loneliness.

I would love to hear how it works for you.

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We know that when we are trying to make a change but not taking the required action we need to find out what is behind our resistance.

We can ask ourselves what the penalties are for trying, for failing, and for succeeding. But sometimes these questions aren't helpful in discovering why we are resisting taking action.

When that happens to me I use this three-step version of hero tapping. Hero tapping is a handy tool where we use the example of someone doing what we want (aka the hero) to discover the reasons we are resisting stepping into action.

In this short audio I will show you how easy it is to use hero tapping to discover the reasons you are resisting taking action for both big and small goals.

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When working with clients I have noticed that people often believe change is possible and they believe EFT is the tool that will help them to make that change...but they don't believe it is possible for them.

They tell me stories of how they have made too many bad choices, their family history runs too deep, or their habits are just too ingrained.

Over and over again I have heard them say, "It's just too late to change."

When a part of us doesn't believe it is possible for us to change, it’s very difficult to transform because we don't want to waste effort.

We think, "Since this isn't going to work out in the end why would I bother putting forth any effort to make change?"

And when this happens it is obvious that nothing will change.

Here is a tap-along audio for when it feels like you are too far gone and that transformation just can’t happen for you.

Download it. Listen to it again and again. Each time you tap through it you are creating a little more room for hope. Hope is key to taking action.

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Dealing with unwanted criticism is hard.

It's painful in the moment because the attack feels personal, and it often is. After the fact it tends to fester and gnaw at us.

It would be great to believe that we are able to see past the criticism and understand the motivation of the person making it. But it can and does hurt.

And if we aren't willing to deal with that hurt, it will get worse.

Even if you haven't been criticized lately I would encourage you to spend some time with this audio because, if you are like me, there is a piece of criticism that you are still carrying with you.

If you are looking for help to get out of your own way and take action check out the Ruach Center.

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As much as we would like to believe in ourselves, our actions, and our future there are times when that is really difficult to do.

We can be filled with self-doubt, feeling like we have squandered our opportunities, or that we have made so many mistakes it is hard for us to keep moving forward.

I know I have a great life and most of the time I am very much at peace with who and where I am.

But there are times when I doubt...when I really don't feel like that special snowflake I was told I would be.

Here is one of those moments caught on tape. This is me tapping for not feeling like I am at all special.

I encourage you to tap along with me.

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If you type "setting goals' into Google it will return over 450 million results. Study after study has shown how setting goals can be to progress.

But goals aren't enough. They can get you moving down the right path, but we need more to consistently take action.

In this conversation with Steve Wells we talk about how can get in our own way when we are taking action. There can be a part of our system that is committed to the goal and at the same time a part of our system that doesn't think it is safe to take action.

When this happens we find ourselves starting and stopping and not moving forward.

Steve shares how we can discover the true values that underlie our goals and how can use this healing for deep healing. Once this healing is done we move to making consistent powerful action.

Guest: Steve Wells

Contact: web @ EFTDownunder.com

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[Note: Last change for the 40% the Advanced Tapping Training go here http://bit.ly/gatherdeal]

One of the keys to being an emotionally intelligent human being is understanding what the people around us are feeling and experiencing.

This skill can be particularly useful when we are helping and caring for others.

When it comes to emotional intelligence there is a big difference between empathy and sympathy. Both are can be useful, but for us to be healthy we need to understand the difference between the two and when each is appropriate.

In this podcast we explore the difference between these two approaches, the consequences for using the wrong one, and how to be present in a healthy way to loved ones and clients.

I would love to hear your experience of how you have been successful and unsuccessful with this issue in your own life.

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Day-to-day the things we want to change in our life show up most obviously in the choices that we make. Because of this it makes the most sense to go after trying to transform these choices with tapping.

Even if we are successful with our tapping in this way it is often not enough to make long term changes. In addition to the choices we make moment to moment our success is impacted by our beliefs about the world and the identity we world of ourselves.

In this conversation with Adele Wang I share how we can understand the difference between actions, belief and identity. We also look at how you can tap on all three levels to ensure we have long term change and transformation.

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I think we all know what it is like to feel stuck. We know what we want to do or we know what we want to change, but for some reason we just can't take action.

There is an obvious cost to being stuck. For every passing moment that we don't change the thing we want changed we lose that moment and never get it back.

Even more than that, there is another cost to being stuck: all the emotion and energy we spend on the emotions we feel about being stuck.

In this interview with Carol Look we talk about the emotional cost of being stuck, how that impacts other parts of our life, and how we can tap for that.

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I always find my conversations with Rick Wilkes interesting. Of all of the interviews I do they tend to be the least planned because they are much more interesting conversations than they are traditional interviews.

When I email Rick to see what he wanted to chat about this time he replied with the world "lovership".

My first thought was, "That sounds great!” and then, “I have no idea what that means."

When Rick uses the word lovership he is talking about how we create relationships (that aren't sexual) in a way that is open, transparent, and in congruence with the other person.

It is somewhere between making choices out of obligation (saying yes or no without thought) and always saying yes to any request a friend has.

It is a state of intentional friendship building.

It is a great conversation that will help you to evaluate if your relationships are serving you.

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I love talking about the work I do.

When I am meeting someone for the first time I don't jump right into tapping or EFT. I about self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, and emotional healing.

At some point in the conversation, because people are so interested in what I do, the conversation turn to how is do it.

This means we have to talk about tapping and EFT. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about EFT, but to the uninitiated it is weird.

Okay, it's not weird, its really weird.

Because of this I think we need to be careful in the way we share tapping with other. I am not saying that we should hold anything back or be dishonest, but instead we need to remember where the other person is coming from when we are sharing new information.

Here are few simple things to keep in mind when sharing about EFT so that others will be more willing to hear what you are sharing.

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I love people who have a natural healing disposition. They see their healing talents as a gift that they want to share will others.

Sometimes this giftedness can come with the drawback of many more people than we are capable of helping showing up for help.

For helpers and healers it can be hard to create healthy boundaries can be hard. When our boundaries are over run it is easy to simply want to cut ourselves off.

In this conversation with Rue Hass we talk about how we can boundaries from a generative and not a defensive posture.

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When it comes to creating the right loving relationship for our life it isn't simply about finding a relationship. We want to find our way to the right relationship at feeds and nurtures us.

Unfortunately many people keep finding themselves in the same type of relationship over and over again that isn't right for them.

In this conversation Stefan Gonick talks about what we can learn from our relationship pattern and how to get clear of conscious and unconscious fears about romantic relationships which leads us to taking useful action to creating that relationship.

Guest: Stefan Gonick

Contact: web @ FindingTheLoveYouWant.com; phone @ 413/527-5491

About Stefan: Stefan Gonick is an internationally recognized Soulmate Attraction Mentor and Expert EFT Practitioner. For over 20 years, Stefan has helped smart, loving people attract the spine-tingling and lasting love they've always longed for, even when they thought it wasn't possible for them.

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When I look at the work that I have done on myself since I discovered tapping I can distill almost every issue down to one thing.

Being comfortable inside my own skin.

When I am comfortable inside my own skin I am more likely to follow inspiration, I am more likely act with confidence, and I am more likely to see situations as they truly are.

If any of those things are true at the time of action I will be much happier with outcome. When all three are true, amazing things happen.

In this short audio I explore the importance of being comfortable inside our own skin and provide a short tap-along to nurture this sense.

Let me know your thoughts on this idea below.

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A few weeks ago in podcast #149 we talked about the trouble with saying "I love and accept myself". As we discussed, sometimes it is hard to say and there are also times where it isn't helpful to say.

It was a useful discussion you should check out.

I was overwhelmed with the response to that podcast. I as I noted in the Best Of 2014 I received the most emails about this particular post in the whole year.

One question came up again and again: "How exactly do I tap for self-acceptance?"

Here is a simple tool to do just that. You will need to use the Setup Phrase Generator and it only takes a few minutes a day.

I would love to hear how this works for you in the comments below.

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Surrogate tapping is a tricky topic. Tapping itself is difficult enough to explain, but trying to explain how I can tap on my body to promote change in someone else is a whole other level.

At that point it sounds like we are talking about woo-woo crap that just can't be true.

In the last few weeks I have witnessed some amazing things with surrogate tapping (or at least they appear to be the result of surrogate tapping).

First, my sister regularly takes her dog Addison to the vet. Like many animals, Addison gets really nervous when she visits the vet and she especially hates having her nails clipped. When a trip to the vet is scheduled my sister will send me a text so that I can tap for Addison (from the other side of the United States). And next I receive a picture from my sister of Addison lying calmly on the ground completely relaxed and serene. It has happened too many times for me to dismiss this as some kind of coincidence.

Second, I have been working with a family with a child who has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Over the last six months the family has seen some amazing results with surrogate tapping. A few weeks ago their son started to backslide and lost almost all the progress he had made to date. I put together a short tapping sequence and within a day he not only regained everything the family had achieved from the tapping, but it also triggered a significant clearing and release on a physical level from his system (I won’t go into detail here but am sure you get the picture!).

Sometimes people ask me how all this works and all I can think to say is, "I have no idea!"

With that being said, it doesn't always work. Just because we are surrogate tapping it doesn't mean that progress happens. There are times when we tap and yet we cannot perceive any progress.

Two years ago, a very dear friend of mine's 33-year-old body succumbed to cancer. As I wrote about what it was like to tap for her I asked, "Why didn't the surrogate tapping work?"

Because of the number of people who have been asking me about surrogate tapping (and specifically about my experience tapping for a friend with cancer) I thought this would be the perfect time to revisit the idea of surrogate tapping.

In this audio I talk about surrogate tapping, when I do it, and why I think it didn't work on my friend's cancer.

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Often times the biggest obstacle we have to using tapping in the healing process is ourselves. This happens in two main ways.

First, there are times when a part of us that feels it isn't safe for us to heal. Since a part of our system doesn't feel safe healing we short circuits the healing process. When this happens we don't tap as much as we would like and always seem to have other things to do.

Second, there are time where we are tapping for the "wrong issue" or have the "wrong expectation" what the tapping/healing process should look like. When this happens we can tap and tap and tap, but not get any where.

In this week's podcast I talk about how we can respond to the second way we prevent ourselves from getting the most out of the tapping process. Our mindset about what to tap on and what the healing process should look like make a world of difference in terms of how much success we will have.

If you keep these 3 simple ideas in mind before you tap you will find that when you do tap you are going to be working on your issue is a way that will help you move towards healing much quicker.

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My clients often complain that even though they tap regularly for their issues, there are times when their emotions get the better of them.

The goal of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is not for us to become emotionless.

Our emotions are important because they allow us to feel in order to navigate the world and they are what give our experience richness.

The problems isn't the emotions themselves, but when and how strongly they show up.

In this week's podcast I talk about the ultimate goal of tapping AND how we can best understand our experience of our emotions.

Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

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When Gary Craig first introduced the world to Emotional Freedom Techniques he used something he called the setup phrase.

You would tap on the side of your hand or rub the sore spot and say, "Even though I have [insert issue] I completely love and accept myself."

As time has passed and EFT has evolved most teachers of tapping fall into one of two camps. They are either insistent that you do this every time or they never do it at all.

There are enough tapping teachers who are still sharing the setup phrase that about once every 10 days I receive an email asking "Do I really have to say the setup phrase?"

I think there is a middle ground. There are times when it is really useful and there are also times when it can slow the tapping process.

In this podcast we explore when to use the setup phrase. We will also look at why most people are avoiding it, which has nothing to do with its usefulness.

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Between the bonus podcasts and the full show I have shared over 200 podcasts!

It has been an amazing journey. I would like to thank all the guests.

None of the guests was paid for their contribution. I feel so blessed that they were willing to share their time and their information and wisdom.

As the person who had a front row seat for the full catalog I know my life is richer because of it.

Recently, I was chatting with Gwyneth Moss and she asked if she could interview me about what I learned from doing 200 podcasts. That is the interview I am sharing this week.

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We live in a time of exceptionalism.

Everywhere we turn we are presented with the biggest, the best, the greatest, and the most important.

And it is not just coming from marketers. If you spend any time on social media you see people describing the best meal they have ever had, the greatest vacation of all time, and the most important thing they learned.

We have come to a place where if it isn't the best then it must be a failure.

Wanting To Be The Best All The Time Is Bad For Us

I think that it is important to strive for better and that we give it our all, but there are times where wanting to be the best just isn't good for us. It can even hold us back from taking action.

In this podcast I talk about the trap of needing to be the best all the time, the value of good enough being good enough, and how we can tap to find our way to the right level of excellence.

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I was recently having drinks with a friend and we were talking about my time teaching anger management in jail. She asked if I would teach her one of the tools I taught the guys.

So I explained one of my favorites.

She responded, "I can see how that tool would useful, but that is just about emotions generally. How is that tool an 'anger management' tool?"

And she was right.

Every tool I taught in jail was about having a healthy emotional response. Yes, the guys were looking to manage their anger, but the tools and techniques we use for anger are no different than those we would use any other disproportionate emotion.

The Real Goal When we are working with our emotional response, the goal of tapping is not to be emotionless. The goal is to have a proportional, well-informed response.

Everything we do when tapping for our emotions is about returning them to balance. We can successfully use the same techniques for all emotions is because the process of transforming our emotional response is the same regardless of the emotion we are working on.

Very early on in tapping with clients I realized there was a consistent process that we go through as we work our way to well-informed, proportional emotional responses.

In this podcast I explain the stages we move through when we are healing our emotional responses.

Understanding this transformed the way I worked with clients AND how I understand my own healing journey.

I would listen to this audio two or three times. Once you understand this process it will give you an understanding of where to start with your issue to gain the fastest results from your tapping.

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Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a healing protocol is gaining more and more acceptance worldwide.

I see it very much as a cousin protocol to EFT and tapping.

In the interview I have a conversation with Masha Bennett who is very experienced in both. She compares and contrasts the two protocols. In doing so she shares what tappers can learn from EMDR and what MEDR practitioners can learn from tapping.

Regardless how much tapping training and experience you have you are going to learn from this comparison.

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Recently my friend Rebecca Kane asked me my approach to working with clients and how I structure my sessions with my clients.

It turned into a very constructive conversation.

If you have ever wonder what a practitioner is thinking when they are doing a session and why they do what the do, here is your chance to hear my point of view.

This is not the only way or the best way to do a session, but these are thing is keep in mind to make sure I am keeping my clients safe and provided the care possible.

If you are interested in working with me one-on-one drop me a note.

If you are interested in training created by Gene you can get Advanced Tapping Training at a discount and a full year of the the Ruach Center

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Personally, I don't like the terms alternative medicine or complementary care.

The things we do either are working toward helping us to maintain and improve our health or they are not.

Elham Kashefi recently watched her dear friend Tara succumb to cancer. During the time she was receiving treatment it became very clear that the medical system taking care of her was incomplete.

The system was built only to respond to things after they had gone wrong and was only able to respond in a limited number of ways.

Based on this experience Elham founded the Tara Project with the goal of providing people with the information they need to recognize the things they can do to maintain and improve their health in daily life. It also aims to help people post-diagnosis by providing them with comprehensive information so that they can make informed choices about their health.

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According to Wikipedia is:

In Jungian psychology, the shadow or "shadow aspect" may refer to (1) an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself. Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one's personality, the shadow is largely negative, or (2) the entirety of the unconscious, i.e., everything of which a person is not fully conscious.

In Kris Ferraro’s client work she works directly with the shadow self. She has found it to be a very effective way to find and clear the parts of the self that hold us back from being who we want to be.

In this interview she shares a simple process that you can use to tap with your shadow self

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One of the key reasons my clients don't take action is because of perfectionistic tendencies.

The tendencies show up because there is a part of our system that is trying to keep us safe. We are worried that if something isn't done just right then things will go wrong. We keep working and working until something is perfect so nothing goes wrong.

The problem is that we will never arrive at perfection so therefore we will never act.

A few weeks ago I was interviewed by Adele Wang about how I understand and approach perfectionism with my clients.

If you struggle with perfectionistic tendencies I think you will find this point of view helpful.

If you are interested in learning more about Adele's see below.

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There is no question that our world is becoming increasingly complicated as our down time diminishes.

Because we are being pulled in so many different directions with little time to process our experiences it is easy to feel disquieted. In extreme cases this can develop into full-blown social anxiety.

In this conversation Helen Walker talks about how we can identify the roots of social anxiety in this sense of overwhelm and disconnection from what is important in life.

If you are are feeling overwhelmed by your day you will find what Helen has to offer very helpful.

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We often find ourselves in need to tap for issues that have many aspects either because the issue is so large or because it has unfolded over a long time.

For example:

an auto accident that is impacting your health, your finances, and your ability to work
a divorce
poor financial decisions that have left you feeling embarrassed and powerless

It can be tough knowing where to start and how to tap for complex issues.

EFT Master Lindsay Kenny has created a simple tool using the image of a tree to create a structure for our tapping.

In this conversation we talk about (and demonstrate) how the straightforward approach can be used for multifaceted issues with many aspects.

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We hear it over and over again in our tapping training.

“The more specific you are with your issue, the more effective the healing will be.”

“The earlier the memory you can find related to the issue, the faster you will be able to release it.”

For the most part these statements are true, but what happens when you are dealing with something general, like low self-esteem, or you are working on an issue without any memories attached to it?

This week I talk with Gwyneth Moss who has developed a gentle technique for getting in touch with our younger selves in a way that allows us to do healing work without having to know specific memories.

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We do not live in a vacuum. We are impacted by the issues others struggle with and vice versa.

The healing process is also not something that takes place independently of others. Often our fastest route to healing is by walking that journey with others.

Jondi Whitis has seen the impact of trauma on a community and the impact of a community on an individual’s trauma firsthand. She has worked with both the families of those directly impacted by the New Town shooting and also with veterans and veterans’ groups around the issue of PTSD.

In this interview she shares what she has learned from this work, what can be applied to our own healing process, and how we can reach out to others.

There is a great deal of wisdom to be learned from Jondi’s experiences. I encourage you to listen and take advantage of it.

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There is a counterbalance to most things in life. Success to failure. Happy to sad. Action to rest. Growth to deterioration.

Often when we tap we are working only on the part we see as negative, thereby addressing only half of this balance.

Even though the negative side is most obvious and painful there are often tappable issues on both sides. For example, I might feel frustrated that I don’t have a better job, but there is also a part of me that fears the challenges a new job might bring.

Feeling frustrated about not having a good job is an obvious thing to tap for, but if we may miss the flip side, which is our fear of the unknown. If we don’t clear both sides it will be hard for us to take action.

In this interview Linda Woods presents a straightforward approach to looking at an issue from both sides. If you work through the simple steps of this tool you will not only identify new aspects but will also have documentation of your discovery, allowing to you to come back again and again to ensure you haven’t missed anything.

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When I am tapping on my issues it is my conscious mind that most often gets in the way.

The conscious mind is wired to figure out explanations for what is going on and won't rest until it has done so.

This becomes problematic when the reason it has decided is behind an issue is wrong.

I have seen this with countless clients. They come to me because they can't seem to get tapping to work on their issue. After a little investigation it becomes clear they had been approaching the wrong root cause.

Knowing that the conscious mind isn't always the best at figuring out the healing path, what are we to do?

In this interview I talk with Carol Tuttle about how we can use the information and wisdom of our physical body to identify the right focus for our tapping work.

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Knowing how to tap is not enough. We need to have a plan when we approach an issue.

In this interview, Founding EFT Master Gwyneth Moss shares a simple and elegant approach that you can use for every tapping session.

Whether you are new to tapping or have been tapping for decades you will find this 4-step approach useful and it is so easy you can start using it immediately.

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I love having conversations with Steve Wells. When we started this one we decided that we’d talk about how we can use tapping to improve the quality of our working lives.

In the end we used the issues and obstacles we face at work to explore a much larger topic of how we can use tapping to take action AND how we can use taking action to help us uncover those things we need to tap on.

It turned into a great discussion about goals.

Put simply, if you would like to take actions to improve your life and are having a hard time doing so, then you should listen to this conversation.

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When a new animal enters a family it can be stressful for the animal and the family alike.

The animal must deal with new surroundings, routines, expectations, and relationships. The family has to adjust to a change of dynamic because of the addition of a new personality.

In this interview I talk with animal and tapping expert Susanne Peach about what you can do before and after the addition of a new animal to your family to make the transition easier for everyone involved.

If you are new to tapping for animals, make sure you also check out my conversation with Susanne on how to tap surogately for animals

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If you have been around tapping and EFT for any length of time then more than likely you are aware of Dawson Church's work. He has been on the forefront of research being done to prove tapping’s efficacy and tapping best practices. He has also been very involved in conducting research into best practice for practitioners.

When I approached Dawson about doing another interview he insisted upon talking about relationships. When I asked why he said, "It is something I am really passionate about. When people have stronger relationships they have better lives."

You can't argue with that!

This interview isn't your typical interview about relationships. Forever the scientist, Dawson talks about how what is going on in our brain impacts the type and quality of relationships that we have. We then discuss how we can use tapping to impact the brain in ways that directly lead us to find the right relationships.

It is not a path that I would have expected us to go down in a conversation about tapping and relationships, but it is really good stuff. I know you will enjoy it.

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The first weekend of April the 2nd annual Spring Energy Event was held outside NYC. My friend Jondi Whitis did an awesome job once again of putting together a great event.

This year I was asked to talk about how we can use tapping to move ourselves to taking the action we want. My presentation was broken into three parts:

Part 1: Tapping For Action v. Tapping For Relief Part 2: The 9 Immutable Laws Of Taking Action Part 3: 4 Ways To Use Tapping To Move You Towards Taking Action

The version of the handout I created for the talk had a number of blanks for the audience to fill in while listening. I have provided the completed notes below. If you are looking for help taking action you will find over 200 audios, classes, and resources in the Ruach Center designed specifically to move you taking action.

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[Note: This is part 2 of our conversation. Listen to part 1 here.]

I am guessing as you read the title of this week's podcast you are thinking, "Luck is an odd thing to tap for. They say try it on anything, but luck… really?"

I would agree with you. When my friend and EFT Master Rue Hass recommended this as the topic for our conversation I was curious.

In the end the conversation turned out to be so fruitful that I needed to split it into two parts.

When Rue is talking about luck she is talking about how we access the opportunities around us to move towards our goals. Even though I personally wouldn't use the word luck to describe what she is talking about you will hear in our conversation that I do agree with her disposition.

You will find this conversation in contrast to most of the conversation around an attraction (and law of attraction) world view.

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[Note: This is part 1 of our conversation. Listen to part 2 here.]

I am guessing as you read the title of this week's podcast you are thinking, "Luck is an odd thing to tap for. They say try it on anything, but luck… really?"

I would agree with you. When my friend and EFT Master Rue Hass recommended this as the topic for our conversation I was curious.

In the end the conversation turned out to be so fruitful that I needed to split it into two parts.

You will find this conversation in contrast to most of the conversation around an attraction (and law of attraction) world view.

Listen to part 2 here.

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On the surface it might not seem like an obvious connection, but in many ways fear of failure and fear of success are the opposite sides of the same coin.

Fear of failure is concerned about what goes wrong when things don't work out. Fear of success is concerned about what goes wrong when things do work out. (And, yes, things can still go wrong when we are successful.)

Both fears keep us from taking action, believing it will keep us out of harm’s way.

In this interview with Annabel Fisher we talk about the fears of failure and success, how they are related, and how we can tap for them.

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Self-sabotage can be so frustrating. There are times when we know exactly what we need to be doing, yet we still choose the wrong course of action.

Sometimes I can see myself getting in my own way and I am amazed at how creatively I self-sabotage. If it didn't negatively impact my life I would almost think it is funny!

Brad Yates uses an interesting word to describe this type of creative self-sabotage. He calls it "brilliant". It is not brilliant in the outcome that results, but it is brilliant in how creative it is in causing us problems.

In this interview Brad and I talk about the amazing ways we get in our own way and what we can do to leverage this brilliance into having what we want.

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EFT is such a powerful tool that we all know that we should "try it on anything." Even though most of us have tried it on anything we haven't taken it to the extremes. Most of have tapped for deep and powerful issues, but not in moments that are literally life or death.

Deborah Miller has done just that. She works with children with cancer and their parents. She is doing more than trying it on anything, she is being successful!

In this interview we talk about what all tappers can learn from her work with these extreme issues. We also talk about the book she has written on how parents and children can use tapping.

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There is no question that we are impacted by our past. That seems so obvious that it doesn't even seem worth commenting on.

Nevertheless I think it is easy to underestimate how some past experiences impact us.

In my private sessions with clients it is amazing how often we find our way back to roots planted firmly in their childhood via current issues. We are more than impacted by our childhood experiences, we are deeply imprinted by them.

In this interview I talk with EFT Master Jacqui Crooks about how we are affected by these childhood moments and how we can tap to create freedom from memories and lessons that are no longer helpful.

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It happens all the time. You know how to do something. You might have done it a ton of times before. But the moment you step in front of someone else and have to do it you freeze.

You might be before a whole group of people, like giving a presentation, or just in front of one person, like in a job interview. You get tense. And sweaty. You can't remember what to say or do. You might even shake.

Things that usually come easily to us are suddenly really difficult when others are watching us.

In this interview with Gina Parris we talk about performance anxiety and how you can use what Gina calls "3 R" to move past it.

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In a recent Time magazine artile Jessica Lamb-Shapiro points out that only 8% of us follow through on our New Year’s resolutions, with most people giving up within a week.

There are lots of reasons for this. We create goals that are too big, we don't create an infrastructure or system that will set us up for success, and we are trying to change old habits with willpower alone.

It is really easy to feel frustrated with our failed attempts at change. In this week's podcast we tap for dealing with the frustration of not following up on our goals and also do some tapping to set you up to start taking action towards your New Year's resolutions.

Think of this as the reset button for your New Year's Resolutions.

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In December I was the guest on the Tapping Solution's monthly ‘Ask The Expert’ call. We answered questions about anger, fear of finding work, how to tap for the fear that comes up when physical symptoms persist, how to tap for feeling overwhelmed, and what to do when we keep sabotaging our own success.

Thanks to Kris (and the callers) for such a great time.

If you missed the call you can hear the whole thing here.

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The holidays can be a very stressful time. There are million things going on, we are tempted by tasty treats at every turn, and we are surrounded by people who sometimes push our buttons.

In this audio we tap for:

Not having enough time
Feeling like we have to accept every invitation we receive
The temptation of too much unhealthy holiday food
The financial stress of buying gifts
Holiday travel
Spending time with loved ones who are very different than us
The loneliness we feel during the holidays because of everyone else's busyness.

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Managing social anxiety can be difficult. It is not like the fear triggered by something like a snake we encounter in our path.

Social anxiety is insidious, sitting just below the surface, and impacting our every interaction in some way big or small. Not having one specific memory to start with can make tapping for it tricky.

I know this firsthand as this was the very issue that first brought me to tapping. I wish that I had known Sebastiaan van der Schrier when I started out on my own tapping journey.

Sebastiaan specializes in tapping for social anxiety. In this interview he walks us through his comprehensive 8-step process for working with social anxiety, which can also be applied to many other issues.

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EFT does a great job of helping us to feel better in the moment. In a very short time we can go from being emotionally overwhelmed to calm. But we know there is much more that can be achieved with tapping. Not only is it helpful for short-term relief but it can also help create long-term change.

I had an interesting conversation with a client this week. "Jackie" was relaying the fact we had tapped for an issue a few weeks earlier, a major shift had happened when we tapped, and it was still hard to make new choices in the moment when the issue came up.

In today's podcast I address why Jackie experienced what she did and some simple things you can do with your tapping to make sure you experience not just short-term relief but long-term change.

Here is the podcast I reference in this recording. Pod #91: Using The Gamut Point To Make Long Lasting Change

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I recently had a great conversation with one of my clients. She started the call by saying, "I have some great news! I am no longer a doormat. I am asking for what I need. I am only helping others in a way that is healthy for me. Most importantly I am able to say 'no' to others when I want to!"

After sharing this story in my newsletter many people wrote to me asking how they could achieve the same change in their own lives.

There are three main areas we can tap for when it comes to uprooting a doormat disposition. In order to enjoy the lasting effects of this transformation I would recommend regular if not daily tapping on these issues.

I encourage you to listen to the audio at the end of this post for examples of tapping for these three areas.

Take out a piece of paper and answer the questions below. The answer to each question will provide you with at least one tappable issue. Spending a little time tapping for one of these daily WILL lead to a powerful change.

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One of the things I love most about tapping is its flexibility. Not only can it be used on a wide range of issues, but it can be used in a numerous ways.

Steve Wells and his colleague David Lake have spent years playing around with the basic EFT recipe. They asked what worked, what didn't work, and how it could be improved. In the end they created something they call Simple Energy Technique (SET) which is a user friendly collection of the best of the best techniques.

In this interview Steve talks about the ways in which SET is similar to and different from EFT. SET is so simple and straightforward that you will be able to add the parts you find useful to your tapping right away.

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A huge piece of who we are is where we came from. Our personality and our beliefs are shaped from a very early age by the people around us and the stories they told.

We describe ourselves by our family name, our heritage, where we grew up, and our nationality. This type of connection to our past is important and healthy, but there are times when it becomes a problem.

It becomes easy to use these descriptions of who we are as a way of limiting ourselves unnecessarily, for example:

The men in my family were never good at sharing their emotions
You know how hot tempered we Irish are
The women in my family always have had trouble with love

In this interview with EFT Master Jacqui Crooks we talk about the conscious and subconscious ways in which we adopt these beliefs as our own, how debilitating they can be, and what we can do to release them in a healthy way without damaging our connection with the people we love.

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Taking care of others is easy to do. We see needs, suffering, and struggle. We respond.

Often (at least for me) it is hard for us to extend the same type of care and concern to ourselves.

In this interview with EFT Master Loretta Sparks we talk about some of the most common reasons that caring people have such a hard time taking care of themselves. We also talk about a number of simple tools and steps that can be implemented right now to make it easier to care for yourself.

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Years ago a friend of mine wrote a book called "Real Love In A Pizza Love World". In English at least, love is a tricky word. We use it for so many things, and in so many ways, that sometimes it can be hard to get our mind wrapped around the idea of wanting to be loving and be love.

In this interview with Terry Lynch we talk about the way she approaches the word love, and also demonstrates the protocol of EmoTrance on me.

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One of the questions I receive a lot from people new to tapping is, "Aren't you worried that you will tap something bad in?"

That is a reasonable concern. Often when we are tapping we are saying phrases about how we would like our life to be better while we are tapping. From the outside it almost looks like we are driving the positive phrases into our body and our mind.

But that isn't what is really happening.

Instead, from my point of view at least, we are in the process of clearing out inaccurate beliefs and perceptions.

In this podcast I explain what I think is really happening when we are tapping, how we can be more successful with our tapping, and why the big pink eraser I have in my front pocket informs the way I tap.

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Last weekend I had the chance to speak at the Spring EFT & Energy Gathering (Northeastern USA) just outside NYC.

I was asked to speak on EFT and Self-Sabotage. My talk was about 5 lenses we can use to figure out the core issues of our self-sabotage. After explaining them I share how we can tap for those issues once they are identified.

You can download the handout for the talk here: handout

Please note that the sound quality isn't the greatest, but it is good enough to get the information across.

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On some level most people who smoke really want to quit. Even though the will to change is strong in the larger context of their lives, it is really hard to motivate change in the moment because "one cigarette won't kill me."

Usually smoking isn't the core problem, but symptomatic of a larger issue.

In this interview Sue Beer and I talk about how we can use EFT to stop smoking.

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I recently did a survey of some of my favorite professional tappers. One of the questions I asked was, "Who in the field is doing the most controversial and experimental work?" The name that came back the most was Robert Smith.

I have done a number of reader surveys over the years asking who you’d like to hear on the podcast. Of practitioners who have not already been interviewed, who is nominated most often? Robert Smith.

So after a number of false starts I finally have an interview with Robert about Faster EFT.

I find Robert's approach very thoughtful and that I agree with his world view about healing.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the interview and Faster EFT.

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Sometimes there is a clear entry point to a problem. There is a past moment we keep reliving where we see exactly what went wrong. Other times there is a clear pattern we are trying to change, like emotional eating, where we can tap on specific actions that are happening regularly.

But this is not always the case. Sometimes there are issues beneath the surface which affect us more generally, such as low self esteem, and it’s difficult to know how to tap for them.

In this interview I talk with Lindsay Kenny about a simple process that we can use for these issues. I would encourage you to have a piece of paper and pencil to hand as you listen.

As we did this interview I worked through the process in real time and found it extremely helpful.

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We live in interesting times. Every morning when I wake up I am bombarded with friend requests, invitations to attend events, fund projects, and try new programs. At the exact same time it is possible for me to go through an entire day and not have one single profound connection with another person.

In this conversation with Rick Wilkes we talk about how scary it can be to put yourself out in the world with the intention of making genuine connections when it feels like we will be judged.

This is Rick's fourth appearance on the podcast. The reason I have him back so often is because he is so insightful! This conversation is one of my favorites and I really encourage you to listen to it!

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Most of my readers, listeners, and clients are big hearted people. Not only do they see the obstacles in their own lives, but they recognize the struggle of others.

When we recognize the struggles of others we also open ourselves up to experiencing their pain.

On one hand this allows us to connect and respond to where they are coming from. On the other hand it can open us up to feeling overwhelmed and a great deal of pain when we realize how many problems we are unable to solve.

It is a tricky balance between being open and not being so open that we feel overwhelmed.

Here is how I try to navigate this balance:

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When I am working with clients one of the things I keep in mind with all behavior is that when someone makes a choice they are making the best choice they can make based on the information they have and the resource state they are in.

We can quickly realize that we have made a bad choice (something in a split second after we have acted), but in that moment we are really doing the best that we can.

The problem comes when we are working for a place of fear. When this happens we will make lots of short term choices and very few long term choices. This can create a series of many bad choices.

Over time these choices add up and we can end up in a place where we no longer trust ourselves or trust our ability to make a good choice.

In this interview I talk with Andy Bryce about what are the underlying causes of losing that trust in ourselves (such as guilt, shame, and lack trust) and how we can turn that around.

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Over the last few weeks I have shared with you thoughts from some of my favorite tappers. I asked them what mistakes beginners and pros make, as well as what they have found to be the most effective ways to tap.

In this week’s podcast I take on all three questions:

What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Pro Tappers?
What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Beginner Tappers?
What Have You Found To Be The Most Successful Approaches To EFT?

In answering the third question I share the tool I use more than any other when working with clients.

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In my client sessions and even in my personal tapping I have noticed an interesting internal conflict. On the one hand we want to be seen, noticed, and validated. On the other, there is a part of us wanting to go through the world unseen and unnoticed, because if we are seen we can be judged.

In this interview I talk with Rue Hass about this dichotomy. We look at what it means to be invisible, how we end up being invisible, and how it is possible to be invisible to our own selves. We also talk about how we can use EFT to become our more authentic selves which makes being invisible less of an issue.

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There are few things more frustrating than chronic illness. In addition to the pain and suffering that come with the illness there is also the way that the unending nature of the symptoms grind on the system.

In this interview I talk to Annabel Fisher about her personal experience of chronic illness and how she transformed it with EFT. We also discuss the steps you can use to tap for chronic issues.

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EFT is a powerful tool when it comes to healing and transformation. Burdens and wounds that we have carried for decades can be cleared. It is an amazing thing to experience this type of freedom in our lives.

After this type of release there can be a let down because after healing something so powerful we feel like our life should be much different. Sometime we can release so much and still feel the same day today.

Here are few thoughts on how to respond to the let down of things feeling like they are the same after healing something large.

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We do not live in a vacuum. Not only do the choices we make impact others (and vice versa) in the moment, but there is also a lasting impact from the relationships we have had in the past.

Some of these relationships have obvious deep impact, while others affect us in ways of which we are unaware.

In this interview I talk to Gwyneth Moss about a new approach that she uses in helping people to understand and unpack the web of life. This is a tool that she uses only occasionally because of the unique circumstances required to execute it well.

Even though this is something that you won't reproduce there are many lessons to be learned that you can add to your own tapping right away.

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Gwenn Bonnell is always one of my favorite guests on the Tapping Q and A Podcast because every time I talk to her I learn something new. This interview was no different.

In this interview we talk about how to tap for resentment. And this is not just about feeling resentment towards other people. We can also resent our computer for not working, a company for not being helpful, and ourselves for making the same bad choice again and again.

The interesting thing about resentment is that it is an emotion that bubbles below the surface so it isn’t always obvious to us, like anger or sadness. Because of this we can forget to tap for it because it doesn't feel like it is impacting our immediate present.

In this interview Gwenn shares a great 3 step tool to get to the core of resentment, and how to tap for it once you are there.

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Managing our eating can be hard because it is something that we must do. If we have a problem with cigarettes or alcohol, we can exclude them from our lives. But we have to eat!

In this episode I talk with Brittany Watkins, the creator of “Skinny Genes,” about using EFT to heal emotional eating and banish food cravings. She also shares a great tapping tool which you can use right now to help reduce the amount of food you are eating.

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One of the biggest struggles we have in doing any sort of transformational work is the fact that it is possible for us to NOT see the issue at hand clearly. We are shaped by our experience, our training, our biases, the stories we tell about ourselves, and what we hope is true. Because of this, even with the intention to do healing work, we can end up going down a path that is not fruitful.

The problem with these misperceptions is that it is nearly impossible know when this is the case and if we need to change course in our approach.

In this interview I talk with Dr. Shoshana Garfield about how to deal with misperceptions about our issues, ourselves, and the world. Based on her own life experiences and over 20 years of working with severe trauma, Shoshana talks about ways we can see ourselves and our world more clearly to help us to move forward. (We even do a little tapping for it!)

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EFT is a very powerful tool for bringing about change and can be used in many different settings. It can be done alone, with a practitioner, in groups, in short bursts, over a number of sessions, and over the telephone or Skype.

As time passes not only are studies being done to explore what EFT is effective for, but the data from these studies is also being used to uncover the best ways to use EFT.

In this interview Dawson Church and I discuss what these studies tell us about how to get the most out of EFT. (There are even a few things that I found surprising.)

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It is very easy to say (especially in tough times) “All we need is love”.

The hard part is to know what that means beyond bumper sticker sentimentality.

In this interview with Brad Yates we talk about in real terms what is love, what is self-love, and most importantly how can we use EFT to feel a sense of love in a tangible way.

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I bet you are like me. Somewhere in your home or office there is a large pile of self-help books, cds, and dvds. In addition to this physical pile of resources there is a folder on your hard drive full of ebooks, pdfs, audios and interviews, also filled with amazing information...and you have never looked at over 90% of these resources

They looked enticing. They looked valuable. They looked like they would improve your life.

Somehow we never get around to using to them.

This is a common problem. (So much so, at one point in my notes this interview was entitled “Are you addicted to self-help resources?”)

In this interview I talk with EFT Master Maggie Adkins about how we can best do self-directed improvement work. The issue is not concerning having access to tools (we all have too many tools and resources), but instead about how we approach the process.

Maggie shares many practical ways to show us how we can take advantage of the materials we have, using them in a constructive way to ensure that we are moving forward and not just creating a pile of resources that are collecting dust.

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When it comes to teaching tapping children are one of my favorite groups. They take to tapping right away because they don’t have many of the hang-ups adults do of needing to understand everything or concerns about looking foolish when they tap.

Like adults, when kids tap they become happier and healthier. One of the bonuses of teaching them to tap is we help them to clear issues whilst they are small, preventing them from growing into life-long issues.

In this interview I talk to Till Shilling about introducing kids to tapping and how to get into schools and classrooms.

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Did you know that healing from a tapping session can be spontaneously reversed?

It doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens more often than you would think.

In this interview with Karin Davidson we explore the two factors which can bring about a total and instantaneous reversal of a tapping session, and how in three minutes this can be prevented.

We discuss the gamut point, which I think is one of the most powerful, but most forgotten tapping points, and its key role in preventing spontaneous reversal of the benefits of EFT.

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Do you have a good relationship with your inner critic?

Very few people answer that question in a positive way because to most of us it is nothing more than a “critic”. It is always there waiting to pounce, waiting to point out everything we have done wrong, everything we have missed, and everything we will do wrong in the future.

Did you know that this inner voice exists to be helpful?

No, really, it is!

Our inner voice is always on guard, looking out for danger and things that will get in the way of what we want and need. The problem is that for most of us is it working too hard.

In this conversation with Judy Byrne we talk about how the critical voice came to be so critical and how we can transform it from being a giant nag into something that is very helpful.

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Sometimes when I prepare for an interview I have a really good idea about what we are going to talk about. I am very familiar with the topic, the guest’s work, or both.

Other times I am caught off-guard (in a good way).

This is one of those interviews. In the first minute Tania Prince took my idea of shyness and turned it on its head. This set up an awesome conversation about what can be changed and what isn’t really an issue at all.

Often we confuse being uncomfortable around others which causes us to be quiet (AKA acting shy) with someone who is comfortable in a group of people and is just being quiet.

We can get ourselves into trouble when we try to change someone who is just quiet because we think that being shy is bad and that we need to pull them out of their shell.

This is a great interview with lots of tapping tips for dealing with discomfort around others and what being shy really means.

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Since Feb of 2011 I have had the opportunity to be part of teaching an advanced anger management class to inmates in a local jail. I consistently describe the experience as “the coolest thing in my life.” It has been a really amazing experience and I have learned a lot from it.

I was lucky enough to be Jondi Whitis’ guest for the June episode of “eftTapFest” which is part of EFT Radio On-Line. In the conversation we talk about:

What I have learned about teaching EFT by teaching it in a Jail
What I have learned about creating a community to rally in support of one cause
What I have learned about stretching myself
What I have learned about crowd funding

Even if you never intend to work with inmates, write a book, or lead a community of support, there is a lot you can learn in this conversation.

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In preparing for the podcast I usually exchange a few emails and do a pre-interview with the guest to figure out what topic we will cover and to create a plan for the interview so that it goes smoothly. When I was doing my pre-interview with Gwenn Bonnell I asked her what she wanted to talk about.

She said, "We could talk about shoulders and shoulds."

I asked her repeat it because I wanted to make sure I heard her right. She really said, “shoulders and shoulds”.

I know many issues have a tendency to show up in the same part of the body over and over again, but I had never heard of the connection between shoulder issues and the things we feel we should do.

In this interview Gwenn does an amazing job of making the connection and showing us how we can respond with EFT.

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Stress is not becoming a part of our daily lives, it is already part of our daily lives. What is now common is that we moving from a general level of stress to feeling completely overwhelmed. The difficulty with feeling overwhelmed is that once we are in the middle of it we can't see clearly enough to reach for a tool like EFT. In this interview with Carol Look we look at the simple things we can do daily to keep our stress in check and keep us from becoming overwhelmed.

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"Manifesting" more money in our lives is not about sitting in a dark room with our eyes closed, listening to instrumental music, and imagining that we are a giant magnet pulling big chunks of gold towards us.

The way we bring more money into our lives is about recognizing new opportunities for making more money and getting out of our own way enough to act on these opportunities. When we see these opportunities clearly and are acting from the things we know how to do, it feel like money just shows up. It becomes effortless because we are no longer fighting to find opportunity and we are no longer fighting ourselves emotionally.

In the interview with Margaret we talk about exactly how to put ourselves into a place where making money feels easy.

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One of the keys to effective EFT and tapping is to be clearly tuned into the issue we want to address. There are lots of creative ways of doing this. In this interview I talk with Ann Ross about how we can use a simple technique of working with our ‘inner committee’ to isolate specific issues and transform them rapidly.

Ann's helpful approach is easy to understand and you will quickly be able to add it to your daily tapping routine.

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The key to effective tapping/EFT is being able to tune into the issues that need work. There are many ways of doing this. The most common way is to say phrases out loud while tapping, but sometimes we don’t know what to say. The issue might be too deep, the memory might be too painful, or we just can't seem to come up with the right words to describe what is going on.

In this podcast I talk to Marie Holliday about a simple and elegant way to tap for issues called the photo technique. We talk about how easy it is to do, for which issues it works best, and how you can start using it right away with photos, icons, x-rays, or really any image to improve the tapping progress.

Please take the time to learn about this powerful technique, it is a great tool to add to your tapping/EFT toolbox.

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Often when parents come to tapping they are looking for something to fix or change their children. In reality, when we are surrogate tapping for others we are making a transformation in ourselves that in turn creates space for others to change.

In this interview Carol Tuttle and I talk about how parents can use tapping for their children, themselves, and to transform all the relationships within the family.

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I think that giving thanks and celebrating big and small successes is a really important thing to do. It is also important to recognize the gifts that come with adversity when things don't work out as planned.

Last December I was lucky enough to be a guest on Carol Look’s radio program. We talk about what we mean by celebration, giving thanks, abundance, create v responsibility, and we do a lot of tapping on how we can become clear in order to make good choices in our lives to move us towards achieving the greatness we are worthy of.

Side note: Personally, I am a little uncomfortable with a lot of the law of attraction language and conversation. Some it borders on the woo-woo, and some of it is downright ridiculous. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I do think I have a unique point of view, which we examine in this interview.

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For tapping to be successful we need to tune into the issue at hand. There are many tools and techniques to do this. In this interview I talk to Andy Bryce about how we can use making sounds as a way of tuning into issues and emotions. By using sounds we can find ways to describe emotions as well as tune into emotions without having to go point by point through the entire issue, which can at time be painful.

This is a very simple approach and an easy tool to add to your tapping tool box.

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Reversal, psychological reversal, polarity reversal, and secondary benefit are all terms which are thrown around a lot when working with tapping. They can be caused by our thoughts, what we put in our body, and the electronic devices that surround us.

It doesn't really matter what you call them, if they are present then tapping will not work very well (if at all). In this interview I talk with Lindsay Kenny about two major types of reversals and what you can do to correct them.

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Emotions are more than just what we feel. When we experience an emotion there are many things happening at a biochemical and cellular level. In this interview with Stacey Vornbrock we talk about what happens physically when we feel emotions, how we can become addicted to them, and how to break that addiction. By recognizing the addictive nature of some emotions we can find see our way to new ways to tap.

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Shame is the most powerful, self-defeating and crippling of emotions. In this interview I talk to Rhona Clews about the power of shame, how it is created, how it is toxic in our lives, and how we can use tapping to clear it out.

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I don’t know about you, but I constantly find myself answering questions about EFT and tapping. It is great that we can draw from on personal experience (and the experience of those with whom we work) when sharing about tapping, but in many cases this is not enough. It is useful to have structured, peer-reviewed scientific studies to build the wall of proof that so many are looking for.

To that end I have something in two parts that will help you respond to people who are looking for scientific proof about tapping and EFT. First, I have an interview with Dawson Church, PhD about completed research studies, on-going research studies, and planned research studies. Second, I have a summary of many of the recent studies to make it easier for you to talk about them.

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Our working lives can be stressful. The last thing we want to do is bring that stress and worry home. Here is a great little tapping technique that you can do every day before you leave work that will only take a few minutes. It will ensure that you leave any work stress behind so you can go home and enjoy the rest of your evening.

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I want you to imagine you are meeting someone for the very first time. They know nothing about you. You have to describe yourself to that person, but you can only use one word descriptions.

Which words would you use?

Father, wife, grandson, teacher, loving, hopeful...

The labels we give to ourselves can powerfully influence our behaviour. In this interview I chat with Brad Yates about the positive and negative identities we create and how we can use tapping to transform the way we see and define ourselves.

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There are times when we find ourselves caring for someone who is going through something major, be it a physical or mental issue. We want nothing but the best for our loved one, but we can end up spreading ourselves too thin. We give everything we have to the point that we are harming ourselves.

It is important that when we are caring for others that we take the time to also care for ourselves. If we don't take care of ourselves we can't care for others. In this interview I talk to Ron Ball as he shares his personal story of what it is like providing long term care for a loved one and what he learned about taking care of himself during that time.

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There is a lot of talk about the idea of what we manifest in our lives, both positive and negative. I personally think that we pay too much attention to manifesting and attracting and give nowhere near enough credit to personal choice and response. In this conversation with my friend Jondi Whitis we talk about what we can control, what we create, and what we are responsible for.

This is just one point of view and I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic.

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Our romantic relationships take up a great deal of our time and energy. They can bring us great joy and great frustration (and sometimes both at the same time). Even though each relationship is a new and different experience we can find ourselves falling into the same patterns. Some repeat themselves from relationship to relationship, whilst others keep repeating themselves inside the same relationship.

In this interview with Alina Frank we talk about how we can identify these patterns and how they were created. We also spend time looking at how we can use tapping/EFT to clear the negative patterns in our current relationships and those of repeating the same type of negative relationship experiences.

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When I am setting up interviews for the podcast I normally ask my guest, "What is the thing that really gets your juices flowing? It doesn't have to be what you are known for. I want to know what is exciting you right now!" Once we have agreed on a topic the guest sends me a few bullet points to help me to form questions.

When I was having this back and forth with Rue Hass she said, "This is something I am really excited about and it is so new to me that I can't even send you an outline."

I love getting to be a part of new things!

In this interview Rue shares a new technique that she is working with which uses metaphors and having clients draw pictures. It is absolutely brilliant. The technique is simple and elegant and as she was describing it I could see immediately how this could fit into my practice. I know you are going to love this.

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A manifesto is nothing more than a statement of beliefs. This is what I believe about the healing process. This is not about tapping the tool, but what happens when we heal and transform. This is how I think when I am working with clients

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The history of business is a history about how companies and organizations can be more efficient. Much of this work is about how companies and organizations can create an environment where they can get their employees to be more productive. For most of history this has been about automating processes, educating employees, and learning how to empower employees to make better choice.

Today, forward thinking companies like Google and Zappos are starting to look beyond people as cogs in the machine that fill specific tasks, but starting to see them as whole people. When companies feed and support the whole person they are finding their employees are happier, healthier, and more productive.

Regardless if you work for someone else, if you employ people, or don't work in a traditional job the lessons about emotional intelligence that these companies are learning can be applied directly to your daily life. In this interview I talk to Paul Zeilzer about what he has learned by visiting companies like Google and Zappos and how they can applied to our daily lives to increase our success.

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Many of the practitioners I know are very spiritual people, but for one reason or another they are not connected to a particular denomination or faith tradition. My friend Jake Khym is a different in that regard. He explicitly does Christian counseling.

In this conversation we talk about how and why he transitioned from traditional counseling to Christian counseling and how his work now looks different. Also, we spend a great deal of time talking about what it means to provide instruction and teaching in a discipleship relationship vs. what a therapist would normally do.

Even if you are not Christian you are going to find this to be a fascinating conversation. Jake is one of the brights and most articulate people I know. His insights in to how people transform and what people are longing for are insightful and will help you with your healing journey regardless how you approach spiritually, faith, or religion.

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Let's be honest: Tapping/EFT looks weird when you do it, sounds weird when you explain it, and really is just plain weird. At least once a week as I explaining the work I do and how much I love tapping someone will start to look at me like I have three heads and slowly start creeping away.

In any endeavor that we do it is important to have a community of support around us. In these communities we have the opportunity to learn from each other, support each other, and (most importantly) laugh with each other.

In the Baltimore area (which is where I live) Steve Carter has done an amazing job in creating just this type of community. The community he has created is from everyone from full time practitioners to people who are just interested in finding way the live health and happier lives. It started very small and over the last few years has not only grown in numbers, but it has also in the quality of support the community provides.

For me the only sadness is they normally meet on weekends and I travel 40 weekends a year and haven't had the chance to spend much time with them.

In this interview I talk with steve about why he started the group, what he has done to be successful, and lots of practical advice for someone who would like to start something like this in their own community. (And don't worry if you live in a small town or a rural area. Steve has specific advice for your situation.)

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From my point of view the opposite of love is not hate, but instead fear. Fear is a very powerful force. It is very primal and is going to over ride most other emotions an thoughts. In this interview I talk with Colleen Flanagan about the many different faces of fear and how it can be at the root of many other issues. We spend a great deal of time talking about 5 distinct types of fear that can be used as lens to understand many of our deeper issues.

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Stress is one of the biggest issues of modern life but I think that it is talked about so much that sometimes we tune it out. We need to keep our eye on how stress affects us day-to-day. Tapping for stress is easy to do and is much like brushing your teeth, you need do a little bit daily to make lasting change. In this interview I talk to Louise Woods about the impact of stress on the body and some simple things that you can do right now to improve your mood and your health.

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As more time passes few and few people are aware of the roots of tapping as we know it. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) as presented by Gary Craig build upon the foundations of Thought Field Therapy (TFT). In this interview I chat with Joanne Callahan the co-developer of Thought Field Therapy with her husband Roger Callahan. Joanne has many great insights into not only how Thought Field Therapy came to be created and how we can add the tools and techniques of TFT to our daily tapping.

In this conversation we cover the differences between FTF and EFT. We also talk about what psychological reversal is, how toxins affect the healing process, and how we can do something about both right away.

We also spend time talking about one of Joanne's passions tapping for trauma (both big and small).

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Doing this interview was particularly special to me. My guest Brad Yates was the person who first introduced me to Tapping/EFT. In this spirited conversation we talk about the importance of self-love, the obstacles to loving ourself, and what we can do with tapping to improve our view of ourselves.

I know we talk a lot about self love and self acceptance when it comes to tapping. It is right there in the set up phrase, "I love and accept myself." Even with that being the case it is still one of the issues for my clients (and to be honest for myself) that we struggle with most and it is the topic we are least likely to tap for.

I firmly believe all healing is rooted in self love and self acceptance.

The audio on this podcast is a little rough. I have included a full transcript below because I didn't want you to miss the goodness.

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In this podcast my friend Jondi Whitis discuss a bunch of topics around tapping and healing. In the conversation we cover:

Being able to be honest about where we really are and why that is paramount to healing.
Using where we are to build on knowing where would like to be.
How to stay in the moment (which leads to healthier choices).
Noticing what is happening emotionally.
Is tapping similar to hypnotic induction?
Why we resist healing and how can we deal with it.
Why tapping doesn't work when I tap on my own.
How I can move forward and still feel like I am going backwards.
What to do when I don't know what I want.
What to do when a client doesn't know how to talk about their emotions.

How do I continue to grow my understanding that I am enough.

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We all know the EFT mantra, "Try it on everything!" Deborah Miller took this completely to heart. Today she visits a cancer ward five days a week where she has the opportunity to work with children, parents, and even the hospital staff. In this interview she talks about her experience, what she has learned, and her hopes for the future.

Even if you don't know someone with cancer and you don't think you will ever work in a hospital setting I encourage you to listen to this interview. There are many specific lessons you can apply to your own daily tapping practice and also in introducing tapping to others.

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One of the biggest blocks for beginning tappers is using the setup phrase, "Even though...I love and accept myself." Sometimes we just don't believe it. Sometimes it is painful to think of how we don't love and accept ourselves, and because of this we don't spend time tapping.

In this interview I chat with Steve Wells about the idea of self acceptance. During our conversation I quickly came to realize that Steve and I see acceptance and resistance in the same way. We talk about Steve's own (continuing) journey to self acceptance, how he made significant progress using a simple 30-day process, and how moving towards self acceptance heals many other issues in our lives.

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"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy." Jerry Seinfeld

Fear of public speaking can affect not only large moments when we speak in front of a group of people, but also in the small moments like asking for help at a store. This is how I originally found my way to tapping. I could speak in front of 8,000 people but couldn't ask for help in a store. In this interview I talk with Janet Hilts about how we can use Tapping/EFT for many different aspects of public speaking. We explore how sometimes the issue isn't the speaking itself but aspects around it, and discuss a simple approach that you can use to start tapping for your public speaking fears right away.

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In Pod #11: Tapping for Romantic Relationships I talked with Gina Parris about how we can tap to improve our romantic relationships. In this interview we take the next step and talk about how we can use tapping to improve our sexual relationship to reflect the emotional intimacy we share with our partners. It can put a real strain on a relationship when we don't feel truly connected to our partner and often we don't know how to talk about it, or even where to start. In this interview Gina shares practical tips for using tapping to rekindle the passion and fire in relationships.

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Back in the fall I asked 10 practitioners that I admire and respect to answer 5 questions about the healing process, the healing journey, and their work with clients. The questions I asked them were:

What lessons have you learned about healing from a client?
What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process?
If you were to start your own healing journey over again what would you do differently?
What is one thing you wish your clients believed about themselves?
What is one thing you wish your clients believed about healing process?

You can check out their answers in the Round Up Archive

Let me know your answers in the comment section below.

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This is a slightly different type of podcast. Instead of a straightforward teaching or an interview it is much more a conversation. The topic of the conversation with my friend Jondi Whitis where we talk about using tapping protocols and how we find our ways to core issues.

Techniques/Tools v Art of Delivery
Simple v Complex
Stories about how we chance and how that effects how we chance
How we find our ways the right tapping phrases
Resistance and the absence of resistance
The eraser in my pocket
How do we find the core issues better
How to get clients to find more information about the issues
The power of shutting up and listening (aka the comfortable silence)
Choosing the issue to start with
Worry v Fear
How to talk about issues (esp. with kids)

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Today's podcast is an interview with Jesse Jacobs and is little different. I first heard Jesse interviewed by Dan Benjamin on the business show "The Pipeline". Dan was interviewing Jesse about the tea house that he runs in San Francisco. What caught my attention was the last five minutes of the interview in which he started to talk about his use of the power of ritual in creating work that he loves and a life that nourishes him.

In this interview we spend a little time talking about how he moved from being a techie to creating a space where people could relax, be at peace, and make real connections with others. The bulk of the interview is spent talking about this idea of ritual, its power, how it can ground us, and how we can add daily ritual to our lives.

I find this interview helpful in two ways. First, it opened my eyes to the power of being in the moment (especially when it comes to all the senses). Second, we look at how we can create a daily ritual (like tapping) to create grounding for our day

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This is a slightly different type of podcast. Instead of a straightforward teaching or an interview it is much more a conversation. The topic of the conversation with my friend Sue is cravings, eating, and weight release. Because of the nature of conversation we touch on many other things. We talk about:

Reasons people have cravings
Becoming the observer of our self
How to be able to tap when something is happening, not just after the fact
Why treat your inner voice like a 5 year old
The difference between craving and savoring (lessons in conscious choice)
What we can learn (and not learn) from "What Not To Wear"
The balance between losing ourselves in our goals and total apathy
Why it is good that we struggle with how we look
Degrees of pain
Trading one craving for another (changing habits v healing wounds)
3 steps to approach every problem

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According to U.S. National Library of Medicine at the National Institutes of Health Fibromyalgia is:

a common syndrome in which people experience long-term, body-wide pain and tender points in joints, muscles, tendons, and other soft tissues.

Fibromyalgia has also been linked to fatigue, sleep problems, headaches, depression, anxiety, and other symptoms.

The cause of this disorder is unknown. Although none have been well proven, possible causes or triggers of fibromyalgia include:

Physical or emotional trauma
An abnormal pain response. Areas in the brain that are responsible for pain may react differently in fibromyalgia patients.
Sleep disturbances, which are common in fibromyalgia patients.
An infectious microbe, such as a virus. At this point, no such virus or microbe has been identified.

The following conditions may be seen with fibromyalgia or mimic its symptoms:

Chronic neck or back pain
Chronic fatigue syndrome
Depression
Hypothyroidism
Lyme disease
Sleep disorders

More and more I am seeing clients with these symptoms. In this interview I spend time with EFT Rue Hass talking about her experience with clients who are experiencing symptoms of fibromyalgia. We talk about causes as well things she has seen in her practice that has been helpful for these symptoms

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When I approached my friend and fellow practitioner Rod Sherwin about what topic he wanted to talk about in a podcast interview he recommended a conversation about self-compassion. At the time of the interview I was unfamiliar with the word. Self-compassion is in stark contrast to self-esteem. It is all about seeing yourself in the same way as you see others. Often we are supportive and understanding when others fail, but when we fail we are very hard on ourselves. Self-compassion is about being able to extend that same love and understanding towards ourselves.

In this interview we explore self-compassion in depth and practical ways in which we can incorporate it into our daily lives and our daily tapping.

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There are few things more emotionally charged than money. Often one of the reasons we talk in terms of abundance and success is because we don't even want to say "I want money" or "I want cash" out loud. In this pragmatic interview with Margaret Lynch shares the four areas of money that we can tune into and start clearing issues right away.

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We spend a great number of our waking hours at work. Not only do our working hours consume our time but also our emotions and our energy. In this interview with Rick Wilkes we talk about how stress and trauma in our personal and professional lives can affect our ability to be healthy and successful in our work. We talk about ways of discovering how these past traumas are impacting us now and how we can use tapping to clear them, enabling us to be more present in the moment.

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One of the biggest challenges of the modern world is being fully present in the moment. Our attention seems constantly to be pulled in a million directions between the media we consume (even if it is just constantly chattering in the background), our loved ones, all the tasks that need to be done during the day, and everything we would like to achieve for our own growth. Being present in this moment is very challenging. In this interview with Ted Robinson we talk about how being present in the moment can benefit us and how we can use tapping to help us to achieve this state.

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Tapping is great for physical pain and physical issues. When most people are introduced to tapping they learn to deal with pain by tapping on "this pain in my knee...this pain in my knee...this pain in my knee". In this interview with Carol Look we examine more advanced ways to look at the emotions associated with physical pain and how in many cases when we deal with the emotional issues we find our way to physical relief.

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One of the things I love about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is how flexible the tool set is. Not only is it a great stand-alone tool, but it is something that can be used with lots of other tools. In this interview I talk with Betty Moore-Hafter about the lessons she has learned from other tool sets and how you can easily add them into your own tapping. This is easy stuff that anyone can do.

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One of the biggest hang-ups my clients have when tapping on their own is knowing what tune into and how to find past memories or core issues. Tania A Prince has developed a very easy process that only requires the person who is doing Emotional Freedom Techniques to tune into how they know they have the issue. It is really that easy. In this interview Tania explains EFT Inner RePatterning and how to do it.

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One of the questions I get the most often into the site is about surrogate tapping. In this interview Gwyneth explains how she came to understand the power of surrogate tapping and a very elegant three step approach that anyone can do any time. Over the course of the interview we talk about surrogate tapping for animals as well as people. We even spend a little time talking about if we need to get permission to tap surrogately for someone else.

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Over the past few years I have been lucky enough to get to know Jessica Ortner through a number of projects. She just has a wonderful, joyful spirit. I asked Jessica if she would be willing to be interviewed for the podcast and she was initially a little bit hesitant as she is very good at doing interviews, but being interviewed isn't something she is used to.

We talked about how to do interviews and how to do a good job as an interviewee. My favorite part of our talk was exploring some of the lessons and wisdom Jessica has learned from all the great people she has has the opportunity to interview.

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Most of the time the problem isn't knowing what we want. Usually the problem is taking the steps that we know we should take to move forward. In these cases there are fears and limiting beliefs that are preventing us from moving forward.

In this podcast I share with you a simple 10 step process that will help to uncover the fears and limiting beliefs that are preventing you from having what you want in your life. When you ask these 10 questions your limiting beliefs will quickly present themselves and give you the opportunity to tap them away.

For more information on a comprehensive way to use these 10 questions check out 10 Steps To Getting Out Of Your Own Way

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Carrying an emotional burden for someone else is a very high act of love, but it can have consequences for our own emotions and health. In this episode we look at how and why we carry burdens for others and past generations, and how we can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping to release these burdens.

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One of the most powerful tools in transformation is our ability to forgive ourselves and others. When we forgive we are not saying it is ok. We are not saying we want to have the same thing happen again. What we are saying is that we are choosing no longer to be emotionally entangled in the past. Forgiveness is one of the steps of moving from reliving to remembering.

In this show we will explore the power of forgiveness and how we can use tapping to make forgiveness of others and ourselves an important part of our transformation.

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Gene host's a radio program every other Tuesday @ Emotional Freedom Techniques Community Radio. In the most recent show Gene answered questions from beginners and practitioners alike from all over the world. On this show Gene tackles for bigger questions This week Gene answered:

Should I be working with a practitioner and how do I choose one?
I have seen some other tapping protocols that don't use the same points that are taught in the EFT manual. Is it okey if I use other tapping points or will this mess things up?
I have heard you talk about in the past that you don't trust what a client says about their issue? What do you mean by this and with this in mind how do you work?
I want to quit smoking. I tap on "Even though I am a smoke I love and accept myself" This makes me feel a little less stressed about quitting smoking, but I still smoke as much as ever. What can I do?

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This week Gene answered:

I would like to know is why I just get temporaries results with EFT and tapping ?? and Why I don´t get good results with, self esteem ,fear of rejection, people speaking, failure, procrastination and discipline?
I want to tap everyday, but for some reason it doesn't happen. How can I make sure I tap every day?
As I do more work I am becoming more and more aware of my inner thoughts. One level this is good because I can see the areas of my life that I want to change, but in other ways it feels bad because I am always noticing it. Is there a way that I can keep from feeling so over whlemed about the amount of work i need to do?
Do I have to be seated while tapping or can I do it laying down?
My husband and I are having trouble conceiving a child. Can tapping help?
I am having a hard time coming up with phrases. Are there any tricks I can use?

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One of the conversations I have most often around Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping is how it relates to religious traditions and spiritual practice. The questions range from, “Is it OK to tap based on my religion/belief system?” to “Can tapping help my spiritual practice?” I was interviewed by TapFest host Jondi Whitis and Co-Host Lillian Fimbres on EFT Radio and here is our complete conversation on the subject.

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Trauma is one of the words that we throw around when talking about difficult times. In this interview I talk with EFT Master Gwyneth Moss about the true nature of trauma. She very succinctly explains how we experience trauma and how to deal with it. Trauma is not about something that happens, but the after effects, and when we understand its true nature we are much more likely to be able to heal. This is one of those interviews that is worth listening to a number of times.

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This week Gene answered:

Will tapping right before bed keep you up?
Is it possible to tap for things that happen that our subconscious mind is perceiving, but our conscious mind is not?
How do I tap for seasonal allergies?
How do I tap for Male Pattern Baldness?
How do I tap for weight loss?

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Our ability to be successful with any task is not dependent just on our skill set, but also our mental frame of mind before, during, and after we take action. This frame of mind can impact not only our ability but also how we learn new tasks and improve our skill. In this podcast I talk to Jared Tendler. Jared works with golfers and poker players around their mindset and frame of mind. Both of these games are great for looking at how our mindset affects us because of the immediate feedback we get from each choice. In this interview Jared talks about many different ways we can look at our mental outlook and how it relates to choice. The experienced tapper will see right away how to combine these mindset approaches with our Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping.

This interview is packed with information. There are times when I finish an interview and am just blown away by what I have learned, and this is one of those instances. I recommend listening to the podcast a few times and doing with a pen and paper to hand.

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In a number of Gary Craig's original EFT DVDs he talked about how helpful knowing and understanding NLP concepts are. I can speak from my own experience at how valuable these principles, concepts, and techniques are when working with clients or doing self-work. In this pod I interview the National Foundation Of Neuro Linguistic Programming founder Dr. Wil Horton. In this interview we talk about the different logical levels of change. When we recognize all of the different levels in which change can happen at it can speed the healing process as well as identify the places we need to do extra work.

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As time passes I am increasingly working with clients on building their own practices. There is a real feeling of "try it on everything" in the Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping community but as we move from helping our friends with headaches and cravings for chocolate to working with clients, we need more than just a willing spirit. In this interview EFT Master Carol Look speaks frankly about two key issues to keep in mind when you are starting a practice.

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This week Gene answered:

Have been tapping for an issue that has been with me for a while. I am making great progress, but when I tap all sorts of thoughts, memories, and emotions come to mind. All of this information is overwhelming. What do I do with it all?
I am new to Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping. Should I be saying the phrases out loud or is it okey to say them in my head? To be honest I feel a little silly saying them out loud.
I had a client come in for a issue that they were sure they knew the root cause of, but when they tuned in to the past memory that was causing this issue there is no emotional charge. What should I do?
I have a client who has been diagnosed with clinical depression. Where should I start?
How do you deal with naysayers?
Do we need to tap every issue down to 0?
I have been dealing with the emotions of a break-up for months now and feel like I have tried everything. As some one who deal with this a lot I am hoping you have a trick I haven't tried. What should I do?
It hurts when I tap on some of the spots but I want relief. Should I keep tapping?

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Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a powerful tool and can help you to understand where you are standing and help you to make choices to transform your life. NLP and EFT/Tapping are a match made in heaven. More than likely you are already using NLP techniques and don’t even know it.

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Most of us who have private practices or want private practices want to spend our time helping our clients. We don't want to spend time marketing. Not because we don't think marketing is important, but because we aren't very good at it or even worse it is scary. In this podcast I talk to Pamela Bruner and we discover that not only do you need to be marketing for your own sake, but for your clients’ sake. We talk about the unique challenges that transformational entrepreneurs face in marketing their products and services. This is a must listen to if you have or would like your own practice.

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One of the most powerful insights I have had in my practice in the last 18 months was the recognition that every issue we have is trying to serve us in some way. This does not mean that issue is successful in doing so, in fact often the effect of the issue is to make our life worse rather than better. In podcast I explain an easy 9 step process you can use with Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping to transform your issues into powerful resources for growth.

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I often receive questions about how to tap in order to change someone else’s behavior. There are some very specific implementations of surrogate Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping, such as in the work I do with autistic children and their parents. But it is not as simple as tapping to change other people’s choices. We can't tap to change someone else’s free will, but we can tap to create an environment where others have a chance to make new and better choices. In this podcast I explain three ways in which we can help others to make different choices: by working on our own emotions, making others feel loved and safe, and by not bringing our own issues to the table.

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We spend up to one half of our waking hours at work. Not only is it important that we have an effective way of dealing with the stress of our jobs, but we also need to help manage the way this stress might affect the rest of our lives. In this interview with Pamela Bruner we talk about how we can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping to deal with workplace stress, how to use tapping to improve our performance at work, and how to keep work stress from creeping into other parts of our lives.

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[Note: This is part 3 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]

The extra weight that we hold is often times associated with and symptoms of deeper emotional issues. In this interview Catherine Poole talks about what emotions are most often associated with the different problems areas of weight gain. Once we are able to understand the emotional roots of the weight we are carrying it becomes easier for us to release both the emotional wound as well at the physical weight.

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One of the most often used terms and at the same time most misunderstood term used by people in the Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping community is "psychological reversal". In this interview, in easy to understand language, Gwenn Bonnell describes what PR is, what is symptoms are, and many techniques for clearing it.

[Note: Out of all of the interview I have done in the last year this is the one I personally learned the most from.]

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Writing a description of an interview with Rick Wilkes is always a difficult task. On the surface there is the topic at hand for the interview, but when we are chatting things move more much far afield into deep issues of healing and well-being than just the topic at hand. In this interview we talk about the spectrum from feeling completely and irrationally unsafe to complete and total inanition. Anytime there is resistance to change it is really important to ask "Do we feel safe making this change?" In the interview we talk about a number of ways of framing this question to make is more accessible for every issue. In addition to talk about extreme fears and uncomfortable situation we talk about finding space that is safe to heal and what true healing means. This is not just about eliminating fear, but being in a space of feeling alive in every way.

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One of the most difficult parts of using Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping effectively is in trying to figure out the root cause of the emotions we are currently feeling. Although we can often guess that a past event might be relevant it is difficult to be certain. In this podcast Tania Prince explains part of the process she calls Deep State RePatterning which can safely give us access to information about a past event held in the subconscious mind, allowing us the opportunity to do transformational work with that information.

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Each month the Tapping Insiders Club does an "Ask The Expert" interview where they pose questions from their members to a tapping practitioner. For the month of December I was asked to field these questions. In this interview Jessica Ortner asks me questions from total tapping beginners to questions from practitioners.

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One of the most common uses of tapping is weight release and craving control. In this interview Pat talks about the basic steps we need to take to be success in weight release. After giving this overview Pat talks emotional eating and then talks in very specific term about the mindless eating we do and how we can use tapping to deal with the craving eating and the habitual eat (e.g. eating every time we watch tv).

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Holidays are very busy emotional times. The last 10 weeks of the year are jam packed with holidays, each with their own special meaning and traditions. Each holiday also has its own color palette. From the oranges of Halloween to the reds and greens of Christmas, these color haven't happened by accident, but also carry the meaning of the holiday. In this podcast I talk to "The Queen of Color"™ Catherine Poole about what each color means emotionally and how by being aware of this we can keep our over eating and over spending in check while being open to the love and connection of the holiday.

This is not one of our more traditional podcasts where we talk strictly tapping, but instead we are sharing tools that will help you to be more keenly aware of how the holidays affect you emotionally. By being aware of what is going on in your emotions you will be well equipped to tap your way through the holiday season.

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We spend as much as half of our waking life at work, thinking about work, or commuting. In this podcast I talk to Lynne Shaner about why it is so important to deal with work related stress. We talk about a range of topics concerning work related stress and the easy ways in which we can use Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping to deal with it both at our workplace and at home after our working day.

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In this podcast I share part of a client session around the issue of quitting smoking. Even if you are not a smoker you will find this helpful and informative. This session provides a number of clear examples of how we can make the connection from a physiological feeling, in this case the desire to smoke a cigarette, to thoughts and memories from the past.

There are three main takeaways from this audio that are applicable to any tapping situation:

how to move from physical to emotional issues
how cleaning up one emotion related to a symptom can uncover more emotions tied to the same symptom
how the symptoms can return as we tune into new emotions, showing us that there is still more work to be done

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In this episode we discuss how tapping affects the brain and the biochemistry of the body, and how this in turn affects the way new cells are produced. It is one thing to know that it is possible for us to tap and find relief, but it something completely different to understand what is going on inside the body. This understanding allows us to do two things: first, it can help us to tailor our tapping effectively in order to get the most out of the tapping session. Second, it helps us to understand the way the body changes so we can more clearly track our progress and maintain realistic expectations of how the healing process will unfold.

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I am asked all the time by parents about how they can surrogately tap for their children. There is a great deal of confusion around what to say and what to focus on. Like all things with tapping the key is not in the words you use but where you place your focus. In this podcast I share with you a real tapping session in which I worked with a parent who they wanted to tap for their child's struggle with and hatred of math. In this pod you will only hear my voice. I have edited out the parent’s voice. I was also given permission by the parent to share this audio with you.

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In this day and age financial success seems to be on everyone's mind. For those of us who have been doing change work we know there is much more to this than just the money in our bank account. We need to understand our own issues around money and success as well as have a clear vision of what success looks like. In this podcast EFT practitioner AnaMaria Herrera shares a few of the common mistakes people make when tapping for financial success as well as giving a number of tips on how to get to the root cause of our limiting beliefs around money.

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Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping is not only a powerful tool in transforming our own lives, but we can use it to care for our loved ones. This is not limited to just humans, but we can extend this love and care through tapping to our animals as well. In this episode I talk with Susanne Peach about how tapping for animals is similar and different to surrogately tapping for humans. Susan give a number of very practical tips in how you can start tapping right way for your animals.

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One of the most common questions I get about tapping (EvEFT/EFT) is "What do I do when I don't know what memories from the past are effecting my behavior or emotions today?" In this interview I talk to Rod Sherwin about a very cool protocol call Solution Focused Brief Therapy. In this protocol you don't have to worry about why you are the way you are, but instead it focuses on how to move to what you want. Personally, I find this to be a great approach because even when I don't know why things are the way they are I am going to know where I want to be or who I want to be. In this interview Rod lays out the basic steps of SFBT that can easily be added to any tapping routine.

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This week’s podcast deals with two of the most common questions I receive from clients and readers. First, we look at how negative emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy, and sadness can serve us. Second, we cover how to come up with tapping phrases and if we need to say them out loud when doing borrowing benefits work. Links & Resources From Episode:

There Is So Much, I Don’t Know Where To Begin
Not Knowing What To Tap On
Not Knowing What To Tap On/Tapping To Help Getting To Sleep/Tapping For Relaxation
I don’t know what to say! (part 1)
What words and phrases do I use? AKA: I don’t know what to say! (part 3)
No Words At All – AKA: I don’t know what to say (part 4)
Facts of the Situation v. Emotions We Feel - AKA – I don’t know what to say (Part 5)
Not Sure How To Be Specific - AKA I Don’t know what to say (part 6)

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As humans one of the places we have the opportunity to find joy and discover who we are is through our intimate relationships. Because of this we have a tendency to over-think, over- analyze, and over-function as we seek out these relationships. In the pod I talk to Gina Parris about how we can use tapping to find and develop thriving romantic relationships.

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There are few wounds that run deeper than being part of a decision about abortion. In this pod I talk with Dene Ballantine about how it is possible to heal this type of wound. Dene offers expertise from her own story and her practice. There are many pearls of wisdom in this interview for anyone who is trying to heal.

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Every issue we have exists because it is functional on some level (example: fears are trying to protect us). The problem is these tend to create problems in our daily lives, due to misinformation or protection from something beneficial (example: irrational fear of water). This can slow the healing process because we are “at war” with ourselves. The healing process can be transformed when we first approach these issues with gratitude for their functional uses. By doing this we can work with these beliefs instead of fighting them, as we work to health and well being.

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After podcast #7 (Sensitive Temperaments) I was inundated with requests. Lots of readers and clients said something to the effect of, “Rue was talking about me. I never knew what was going on. Now that I know this is who I am, what do I do about it?”

In this episode I go through five of my favorite ways of dealing with the emotions of others that sensitive temperaments feel so deeply.

We’ll explore what surrogate tapping is and a couple of the current theories on why it can be so effective, as well as how surrogate tapping can be beneficial for us even when we think we are doing work for someone else’s issues. Finally we talk about a very simple way you can add surrogate tapping to your tapping tool set. Links & Resources From Episode:

Pod #7 Sensitive Temperaments
How to tap with sensitive temperaments By Rue Hass

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Have people often told you, “Oh, you are just too sensitive...You take things so hard...Why can’t you just let it go...What’s wrong with you...You are such a cry baby”? If the answer is yes, then you probably have a sensitive temperament. BUT that is not a bad thing. In this podcast I talk with Rue Hass about what a sensitive temperament is, how it can be a blessing, and how you can use EFT to manage the challenges of having a sensitive temperament.

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Recent studies have shown that as many as 1 out of every 142 children born today will be diagnosed some where on the autism spectrum (ASD). Even now very little is known about the causes of the symptoms associated with ASD. In this episode I interview John Roedel. He shares his family journey with ASD and how they have used EFT in that journey.

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It seems like we are living in an ever increasingly stressed world. In this podcast we’ll learn what stress is, the difference between good and bad stress, how it affects the body in the short and long term, and how to use EFT to deal with stress. Stress expert Ron Ball talks about how stress can cause long-term damage and how easy it is to deal with it using EFT in just a few minutes a day.

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Have you ever wondered what an Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) practitioner is thinking during a session and on what basis they decide what to do next? In this interview with Michele Price I give some insight into my thought process and the fundamental principles about healing that guide me. We talk about my 5 of my fundamental dispositions of healing and do some tapping. These are principles that shape the way I understand the world and healing.

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Over the last few months I have received lots of questions about surrogate tapping. In this episode we take a detailed look at surrogate tapping, what it is, theories on why it works, and how to use it.

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In this episode I talk with pain relief expert Dan Cleary. Gained from his own personal experience about chronic pain, Dan has an amazing point of view about how to gain pain relief. In this interview he talks about the “10% solution” that will reshape your understanding of pain, even if you don’t experience chronic pain.

Show Topic:Dan often starts his pain relief classes with the statement “Pain is not real!” This is a dramatic statement, often causing his students to sit up in their seats, ready to disagree. Decades of of personal experience with chronic pain makes him uniquely qualified to talk about the nature of pain. In this interview Dan talks about how pain is nothing more than a signal and how relief is possible. Even though Dan’s expertise is with chronic pain, his point of view of how to achieve relief is useful to all of us.

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In this episode we answer the question, “How can I make EFT part of my daily routine?” in this interview with Rick Wilkes where he shares how to heal effectively without excessive emotional highs and lows.

Show Topic: While it is true that there are some issues that can be resolved very quickly, most healing happens over a period of time. In this episode EFT expert Rick Wilkes and I reveal how we work this healing process without going too far, too fast. We believe that moving to peak experiences too quickly can result in an emotional crash, much like the crash that follows a sugar high. Rick succinctly explains how we can move up the emotional scale steadily, ensuring that we create a strong emotional foundation to allow us to thrive on a long-term basis.

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Every week we answer the most common and uncommon questions about tapping and EFT so you can get the most out of your tapping, eliminate self-sabotage, and take the action you want.

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Tapping Q & A - Getting the most out of tapping and EFT: Recent Episodes

Gene Monterastelli

Wanting To Be The Best All The Time Is Bad For Us