Reflect & Redeem: Recent Episodes
Melanie McFadden
In this episode of Reflect & Redeem, Mentor Mel shares her personal perspective on the ongoing Nolan Wells case and the larger conversations it has sparked about accountability, justice, racial bias, and the choices people make in moments of crisis.
Rather than focusing on every detail of the investigation, this episode examines the social dynamics surrounding the case: how people respond to tragedy, why silence can become complicity, and whether justice is applied equally regardless of who is involved.
This is an opinion-based discussion intended to encourage critical thinking—not to determine guilt or innocence. The goal is to reflect on what these situations reveal about our society and, more importantly, what lessons we can apply to our own lives.
Mentor Mel explores the fascinating and complex world of social movements, focusing on a recent documentary about a controversial group called Paradise. She discusses the dynamics of cult-like environments, the exploitation involved, and the importance of discernment and community in personal growth.
Most people are only scratching the surface of what’s possible—especially those with severe disabilities. In this jaw-dropping episode, Melanie dives into a viral and disturbing story that challenges assumptions about ability, failure, and resilience. How does a quadruple amputee, accused of murder, navigate a world that often underestimates or pities him? What does his story reveal about ego, entitlement, and the dangerous ways society enables harmful behavior?
You’ll discover the astonishing neuropsychology behind Dayton Webber’s actions—how someone with no limbs still shoots a gun like anyone else, and how his past successes mask a darker reality. Melanie breaks down the psychological, social, and environmental factors that may have led to this tragic turn, exploring questions about childhood trauma, societal enablement, and the peril of unchecked ego. She also covers the real opportunity this story holds for shifting perceptions about disability and human potential—if we choose to look deeper. This episode is perfect for anyone interested in understanding the hidden complexities of the human mind, breaking stereotypes, and examining how resilience can be overshadowed by ego. It’s a raw, thought-provoking look at a case that’s as much about society as it is about one individual's psychology—an urgent reminder to question what we think we know about capability, morality, and consequence. Watch out for the upcoming dramatization—you won’t believe what truly happened.
If you’re curious about the psychology of human behavior, the power of perception, or want a disturbing yet necessary reminder that appearances can deceive, this episode is essential listening. Melanie’s raw storytelling and sharp insights will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about resilience and human nature.
Final Four or full-on drama fest? 👀
In this episode, Mel breaks down the chaos behind the UConn vs. USC showdown—calling out ego, energy, and a handshake controversy that may have cost more than just the game. From Geno’s sideline meltdown to Dawn’s composed clapback, this isn’t just about basketball—it’s about accountability, media narratives, and who really gets blamed when things go left.
Oh—and somehow a flying Kia Soul makes it all make sense.
Tap in for unfiltered takes, real talk, and a whole lot of perspective.
Join Melanie as she dives into the world of NCAA women's basketball, sharing insights, predictions, and personal reflections. Whether you're a sports enthusiast or just love a good underdog story, Melanie's passionate analysis and engaging storytelling will keep you entertained and informed. Tune in for a mix of sports talk, life lessons, and a touch of humor.
Mel dives into her top picks for the NCAA women’s basketball players to watch in the 2025–2026 season. From fierce guards to dominant scorers, she breaks down the talent, hustle, and potential of rising stars who are shaping the future of the game. Mel shares personal insight from her own basketball background, giving listeners a passionate, authentic look at why this season is set to be one of the most exciting yet.
Tune in for standout player highlights, what makes each athlete special, and why women’s college basketball is experiencing a new wave of momentum. Whether you're a hoops fanatic or just getting into the sport, this episode brings the energy, the analysis, and the love for the game.
Melanie explores the multifaceted concept of engagement in relationships. From the traditional view of engagement as a step towards marriage to the broader interpretations of connection and involvement, Melanie delves into how these perspectives shape our interactions and expectations. Tune in for an insightful discussion on aligning intentions and understanding the true meaning of engagement in modern relationships.
Mentor Mel delves into the complex relationship between media influence, parenting, and the alarming behaviors of children today. From the chilling story of a seven-year-old inspired by Chucky to the broader implications of technology and social media, Melanie explores how these factors shape young minds and the responsibilities of parents in this digital age.
Melanie delves into the complexities of modern relationships, exploring the impact of influencers like Andrew Tate on personal dynamics. Through real-life stories and candid insights, Melanie offers guidance on recognizing red flags, valuing oneself, and making informed decisions in the dating world. Tune in for a thoughtful discussion on love, respect, and self-worth.
Melanie as she delves into the impact of technology on our desire for instant gratification. Reflecting on her experiences with online shopping and the allure of convenience, she explores how these habits shape our daily lives. Discover insights into the balance between convenience and effort in the digital age.
Melanie as she explores the impact of technology on our patience levels. Reflecting on the evolution from dial-up internet to today's instant connectivity, she discusses how this shift has influenced our expectations and interactions. Discover insights on balancing technology use with patience in everyday life.
Dive into the captivating world of social media with Melanie as she reveals the secrets to creating engaging content. From behind-the-scenes magic to boosting engagement, discover how to make your content resonate and build a genuine connection with your audience. Perfect for creators looking to elevate their social media game!
Melanie delves into the pitfalls of dating out of desperation. Through personal anecdotes and candid advice, she explores the emotional and social challenges of seeking relationships for the wrong reasons. Discover why patience and self-awareness are key to avoiding heartache and finding genuine connections.
Description: Join Melanie McFadden as she delves into the power of being a social disruptor. In this episode, Melanie shares her thoughts on societal norms, the courage to walk in one's truth, and the importance of making the world safer for future generations. Through personal anecdotes and historical references, she inspires listeners to embrace their unique paths and challenge the status quo.
Key Points:
The journey of self-discovery and embracing one's true identity. The role of social disruptors in history and their impact on society. Personal stories of overcoming societal pressures and finding strength in authenticity. Encouragement to create a supportive environment for the next generation.
Summary
In this episode, Melanie discusses the importance of seizing opportunities and the impact of life choices on personal identity. She reflects on the challenges of parenthood, the lessons learned from interacting with children, and the ripple effects of decisions made throughout life. The conversation delves into the complexities of late-in-life discoveries regarding sexuality and the consequences of living a lie. Melanie emphasizes the need for authenticity in relationships and the burden of societal expectations, ultimately advocating for self-discovery and honesty in one's life journey.
Summary
In this episode, Mel discusses her personal journey of growth and the importance of finding one's voice. She emphasizes the necessity of setting boundaries in both personal and professional life to maintain mental health and happiness. Through her experiences, she shares valuable lessons on communication, self-advocacy, and the significance of being transparent about one's limits. The conversation culminates in a call to action for listeners to prioritize their well-being by establishing and upholding boundaries.
Summary
In this episode, Melanie discusses various life lessons drawn from her experiences in the workplace, particularly focusing on the stigmas surrounding salary discussions, the importance of communication, and the dynamics of working in IT. She emphasizes the need for individuals to advocate for themselves and to foster a self-help culture within their organizations. Through her journey, she highlights the significance of understanding workplace dynamics and the value of being proactive in one's career. In this conversation, Melanie discusses the importance of maximizing productivity in the workplace through smart work practices, advocating for oneself in terms of salary and career growth, learning from IT failures, and the significance of networking for professional development. She emphasizes the need for open communication with management about salary expectations and the value of demonstrating one's contributions to the company.
Summary
In this episode, Melanie shares her personal experiences with car troubles, the car buying process, and the challenges of navigating warranties and repairs. She reflects on the importance of having cash when making significant purchases and discusses the dynamics of power and character in personal interactions. Through her stories, she emphasizes the need for self-awareness and humility in positions of power, while also providing insights into the automotive industry and the challenges faced by women in this space.
Takeaways
Life can be overwhelming with many moving parts.
Choosing a car involves balancing needs and wants.
The car buying process can be daunting but manageable.
Having cash on hand can significantly improve the buying experience.
Initial issues with a new car can be frustrating and unexpected.
Understanding warranties is crucial when purchasing a vehicle.
Power dynamics play a significant role in personal interactions.
Character is essential in how we treat others, especially in power positions.
Self-awareness is key to navigating challenges in life.
It's important to reflect on how we use our power and influence.
Scott Peterson's motive for killing his wife was to avoid being seen as the bad guy and to control the narrative. The winner of historical events gets to write what actually happened, even if it's not the truth. Peterson's plan to dispose of the body failed because he didn't consider how it would deteriorate in water. He was caught due to surveillance cameras and his own mistakes. Premeditated murder is not a foolproof plan and criminals often get caught. It's not worth it to engage in illegal activities.
Takeaways:
Scott Peterson killed his wife to avoid being seen as the bad guy and to control the narrative.
Winners of historical events get to write what actually happened, even if it's not the truth.
Peterson's plan to dispose of the body failed because he didn't consider how it would deteriorate in water.
Surveillance cameras and mistakes led to Peterson's capture.
Premeditated murder is not a foolproof plan and criminals often get caught.
Engaging in illegal activities is not worth the risk.
Summary
In this conversation, Mel and Chris discuss various topics, including their experiences watching reality TV shows, Mel's recent spa visit, and the concept of ego in celebrities. They talk about the challenges of watching reality TV alone and the need for someone to discuss the show with. Mel shares her spa experience, including a back scrub and a full body massage. They also discuss the idea of ego in celebrities and how it relates to handling negativity and positivity in the public eye. The conversation covers various topics, including viral videos, social media engagement, horror movies, and the formulaic nature of American movies. They discuss the negative aspects of viral content and the importance of authenticity. They also share their thoughts on horror movies and the effectiveness of different storytelling techniques. They mention specific movies like 'The Wind' and 'Hell House' and highlight the importance of a satisfying ending. They also touch on the Dutch movie 'Loving Adults' and the formulaic nature of mainstream American movies. In this conversation, Mel and Chris discuss the flaws in movie trailers and how they often give away too much information, robbing the audience of the element of surprise. They use examples from movies like Escape Room and Godzilla to illustrate their points. They also touch on the importance of building suspense and leaving room for audience imagination in horror and action movies. The conversation concludes with a discussion about the different genres that directors like Tyler Perry and Jordan Peele excel in.
Special Episode (House convos) featuring my housemate and a theory within the Levels of love we have discovered.
The internal quarrel with waiting two days versus just going to the store. Technology has groomed us for delayed instant gratification
Desperation dating is something I would never recommend. Take the time to heal and prevent future heartache by knowing what you want for yourself.
Does technology play a factor in our patience levels? When can we say we've mastered being patient?
Every story has a life lesson. Join me as I tell my road rage story from my last visit to the city.
How social media works and how it's leading to our overall demise. Plus what are kids viewing with what's being boosted on social media.
Life will happen. Events may shake the family dynamic but remember to never forget your partner. Continue growing and evolving together. Never stop learning about your partner.
Saying the "I Do" getting to the alter. Blending your lives officially together and steps to building a family.
Observing any differences your partner may experience once a ring has been put on them.
Making a mental choice on whether the person you have gotten to know on a more personal level is someone that you can forever be with.
After meeting "high value friends", you can now start introducing your person to your family. Try to make this encounters more of an informal event and more so activities. It will relive pressure and people will be working together and creating bonds.
Now is probably the time where you can meet and be introduced to "high value" people in your person's life. This does not include immediate family. These are people that your person has created close bonds with and value their opinion.
Once you both are more comfortable and secure in your relationship. You can be more public about your relationship with others.
As you are navigating this relationship do you see yourself improving in a positive light? Do you see negative traits that are outside of your normal personality type. Have you learned that you may have some jealous or trust issues?
Deciding together whether you both want to make this an official connection. This step means among the two of you that you are officially together. This step is strictly internal as to avoid outside opinions while you iron out the details.
Having a mental discussion about whether the person you are dating is someone you can see yourself with for the long haul. This will help you determine how serious you want this relationship to be in the future.
Getting to know the person on a more deeper level. You are deciding to learn this person in different scenarios and spend more quality one on one time with them.
Deciding internally if this is someone you would like to get to know better after your interaction with them.
Finding the courage to speak to the person that has caught your eye. What vibes do you get from them? Are the interactions positive?
Step 1 in the 15 steps to marriage list. This is where I discuss the importance of really observing someone for what they present. Taking the time to dissect their true nature.
Introduction into dating in the 21st century and possible steps to follow if you are looking for a long term relationship/marriage.
Share your story with people. You never know who needs to hear your story. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Encourage others regardless of their status in life. You never know what someone is going through and may need the extra encouragement. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Have you ever made personal advancements but others don't notice? Hate to break it to you they probably won't notice until long after you are "about that life". Don't worry though you don't need their confirmation to step into who you are. I'm proud of you :D Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Love and the potential issues of having a public media relationship. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
American Murderer Documentary Analysis - I talk about the dangers of People Pleasing and what it can result in if not controlled. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Reflect & Redeem Season 2 - Self Help Intro Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Like Nike states JUST DO IT. Sometimes you just gotta take the dive. Go for it without knowing all the details. Time is of the essence. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Power in focusing on your goals. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
In a world full of people trying to go viral it is even more important to remain yourself to stand out. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Push through your pain to succeed. The road to success is never a easy one but through tenacity and determination you will make it. Just don't give up. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
When you achieve your goals never forget to THANK YOURSELF. You have come a long way and should never forget how much work it took to reach your goal. Congrats I'm proud of you!! Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Touch on people perceived viewpoints on others without actually knowing them. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Sometimes it's best to not support someone. You helping them could actually hinder them. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Madam CJ Walker and her tenacious spirit. I discuss how she was able to overcome adversity to become the first self-made female millionaire. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Regardless of the situation, there is always something to be positive about. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
The downfalls of involving others in your relationships. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
How much phone use is appropriate when in a relationship? Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Traits to look out for when discerning whether a person should be in your space. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
What is Discernment by definition? How can you use discernment to better approach a situation? Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
The importance of having the best relationship with yourself. The dangers of how it can crawl back into your life when you get older. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Compare Loneliness vs Solitude. Why are they different and why you should lean towards Solitude. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Congrats on choosing to put you first, to love you first, and to be selfish for once. Just like a good Netflix Series a new season of Reflect & Redeem will air on February 1st. Follow me on my social media platforms:IG: https://www.instagram.com/mel_thy_mentor/FB: https://www.facebook.com/MentorMel19Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mel_thy_mentorFB Gaming: https://www.facebook.com/TechsavvyGirl2TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@melthymentor?lang=en
Benefits of truly challenging yourself. I talk about changing your mindset about challenges and how that allows you to grow and develop at a faster rate. Being better all about the mind and how we view difficulties. Join me as I discuss and dissect this topic through my personal experiences. PODCOIN View more episodes: Fanlink.to/mentormel
I discuss the importance of remaining vigilant and going forward. Every step will not be a comfortable one but they are necessary one's to reach your goal. Success comes to those whom do not stop ever. Are you a quitter? Visit: Fanlink.to/mentormel
This episode I go over ways Nipsey learned from his past to improve the present of his community. I also discuss different ways to learn lessons. As well as deciding which learned lesson is the best for the working. Mastery of this skill will definitely promote much success in your future. Visit: Fanlink.to/mentormel
Searching and discovering our why to pursue our life's purpose. I help you determine your why behind the goal you have set. Is this something you truly want or is it something you desire without the work. Lets get our lives in the right direction. Let me help get you thinking about your true purpose.
The first relationship you must master is the love of self. Every little aspect about you must be loved unconditionally. Throughout your years relationships will fail people will part ways but the relationship you have with yourself must always remain strong. Once you know you are to be treated you can then know what you truly deserve. Love starts with you FIRST. To listen to other episodes please visit. Fanlink.to/mentormel
Should we post everything about our lives on social media? New houses, new cars, new job, concert we are attending, place we are at etc. When is too much posting an issue? Does it truly happen if it is not documented on social media? Today's episode will discuss the ramifications of documenting too much of our lives (emotions, thinking, events, rewards, etc) via social media. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Social Media and our fears to separate from it. Why do we even use social media? Is there anything bad that can happen? How are we using social media? I discuss 10 reasons why someone may use social media excessively. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Using social media to gain a level of self confidence is the most deplorable thing you could do. Seeking validation from others whom don't know you to feel better about yourself. I discuss why social media statistics will not complete the inner struggles you may have. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
When's the last time you showed appreciation to someone. On this episode I go over why it is so important to say thank you and show gratitude to the ones we love. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Who are the people you spend most of your time with? Are these people that inspire you and encourage you? This episode talks about people you want to have around you to promote positivity and happiness. Your circle represents you. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
What's for me is what I decide when I decide it. Your choices are solely yours and only yours. Don't be afraid to decide what is best for you. Choose the choice that you feel nourishes your body mind and soul. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Discuss the process of being comfortable being uncomfortable. Using those moments to grow and evolve. Our mental growth is very similar to that of a reptile. Comfort can lead to complacency. Push yourselves to evolve into something greater and better. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Finding your happiness.... Regardless of everything. Every decision you make is that. Your decision! Good or Bad they are your decisions. Societal views should not influence your decisions on your life. Join me as I talk more about finding your inner happiness. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Why should you listen to more podcast this year? I go over five reasons and which podcast I listen to on the regular. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Due to hard work, dedication, determination whatever you set your mind to you can achieve. I use Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's legacy as an example of a dream to fruition. When is the last time you had a dream?
Taking a look at the Gov't Shutdown and how these are clear signs to start preparing. Start your business venture now while everything else is going smoothly in your life. Your future self will thank you for this moment. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Insecurities from our past affecting our current. How we let our younger self still affect decisions in our adulthood. How those insecurities will manifest itself into adult bullying. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Discuss how welding can relate to a person's scars. Though we can repair metals by welding them to repair the same can be said about your inner spirit. Time to acknowledge your truth and grow. It will not be easy but it is oh so necessary. No more excuses time for change. Eliminate your pain and take away its power over you. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
No more excuses work on inner transformation. Change your thought process remove emotion based moves. Think strategically and stand up for yourself to achieve your goals. Remember you deserve it! To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel
Building a better you through your life experiences. Take your past and learn from your mistakes. Grow, achieve and believe for it is already yours. You just have to do the work. To access all streaming platforms head to: fanlink.to/mentormel WEBVTT 000:00:00.380 --> 00:00:04.680Welcome everybody. You are listening to reflect to redeem episode 101. 100:00:05.040 --> 00:00:12.163Why help you reflect to redeem your life. I'm your host Mentor Mel. And today's episode be something that everyone can 200:00:12.223 --> 00:00:14.940work on no matter the age or economic status. 300:00:15.260 --> 00:00:17.360And that is developing a better you. 400:00:26.280 --> 00:00:28.080So I was talking to a friend today. 500:00:29.000 --> 00:00:30.000and I realize that 600:00:31.520 --> 00:00:34.120What you truly believe? 700:00:34.920 --> 00:00:35.520you are 800:00:36.700 --> 00:00:40.880for instance if I believe 900:00:40.920 --> 00:00:43.020That and I mean not just I say. 1000:00:43.600 --> 00:00:46.300You know, I believe it. No, we are talking like 1100:00:46.820 --> 00:00:48.220It is in your soul. 1200:00:49.440 --> 00:00:50.540It is in your being. 1300:00:51.120 --> 00:00:52.720It is in you walk. 1400:00:53.240 --> 00:00:55.140The way you talk how you present yourself? 1500:00:55.900 --> 00:00:56.500all of these things 1600:00:57.940 --> 00:00:58.640when you 1700:00:59.240 --> 00:01:00.140Believe it. 1800:01:00.780 --> 00:01:03.980You can achieve it when you especially if you write it down. 1900:01:05.300 --> 00:01:06.900You write it down. You are just 2000:01:07.860 --> 00:01:11.560Signing your fate. This is for me. This is mine. 2100:01:12.340 --> 00:01:13.040One of my friends 2200:01:15.160 --> 00:01:16.560Really got in on her. 2300:01:16.960 --> 00:01:17.660today because 2400:01:18.860 --> 00:01:20.360I know what she can do. 2500:01:20.940 --> 00:01:22.340and I know what she's been doing. 2600:01:23.700 --> 00:01:25.500After this conversation I had with her today. 2700:01:27.380 --> 00:01:29.180She has the potential. 2800:01:30.100 --> 00:01:30.800to be very 2900:01:32.440 --> 00:01:33.940Very good. She's smart. 3000:01:34.980 --> 00:01:35.980She's smarter than I am. 3100:01:38.260 --> 00:01:42.660She can do it. but when you let others 3200:01:42.900 --> 00:01:43.700determine your worth 3300:01:44.800 --> 00:01:45.500determine 3400:01:46.180 --> 00:01:49.580What you can do what they feel you should have. 3500:01:50.400 --> 00:01:51.600Why you should have that? 3600:01:53.460 --> 00:01:54.860If you let them dictate. 3700:01:55.920 --> 00:01:56.520That On You 3800:01:58.440 --> 00:02:01.440When you let them dictate that on you then you become that. 3900:02:01.980 --> 00:02:04.780You listen, people will forever always. 4000:02:06.040 --> 00:02:10.540and for always have their opinion of you once you start believing that 4100:02:11.180 --> 00:02:12.480Is when you start to run into trouble. 4200:02:13.960 --> 00:02:15.160Especially if it's negative. 4300:02:16.080 --> 00:02:16.580like I 4400:02:18.980 --> 00:02:19.680Make it a point. 4500:02:21.920 --> 00:02:26.620To look at the better of a situation regardless of what it is. You don't get this job. Well 4600:02:27.660 --> 00:02:28.760What are ways you can better yourself? 4700:02:30.300 --> 00:02:32.600From this interview to the next interview. 4800:02:33.760 --> 00:02:35.160Become more technically sound. 4900:02:35.760 --> 00:02:36.560How do you do that? 5000:02:38.180 --> 00:02:39.880Do you touch things that? 5100:02:42.960 --> 00:02:48.360Especially the things that they questioned you on do you now go back and your notes? Okay. Let me write that down. I will. 5200:02:48.360 --> 00:02:50.520
5300:02:50.520 --> 00:02:51.120Do that. 5400:02:52.020 --> 00:02:55.220Next time I'll do some research on that and continue on. 5500:02:56.300 --> 00:02:59.000What are you going to do from the past time? 5600:03:00.860 --> 00:03:04.360To the current to make it better door to the Future to make it better. 5700:03:05.520 --> 00:03:07.820Especially if you did not get what you were searching for. 5800:03:09.720 --> 00:03:11.920a lot of times people get discouraged 5900:03:13.760 --> 00:03:21.380What type of great thing was achieved without actually doing the work. How do you you can't become the greatest player 6000:03:21.445 --> 00:03:26.160alive without actually getting your ass beat by somebody like you have to 6100:03:26.460 --> 00:03:27.060at that point 6200:03:28.600 --> 00:03:30.800You have to be disgusted. 6300:03:31.180 --> 00:03:31.880with loss 6400:03:32.580 --> 00:03:36.380To where you will do you do the work to prevent it from happening. 6500:03:38.120 --> 00:03:40.620Kobe Bryant Francis this man 6600:03:43.240 --> 00:03:52.237Have you some examples before Kobe Bryant rehearses rehearses rehearses his moves before even a game anywhere near a 6700:03:52.315 --> 00:03:55.340practice in or near a game. He himself. 6800:03:56.220 --> 00:03:57.120muscle memory 6900:03:58.600 --> 00:04:00.000greatest player 7000:04:01.460 --> 00:04:03.060to play whatever instrument 7100:04:03.440 --> 00:04:05.640When I tell you I play that you miss before. 7200:04:06.380 --> 00:04:12.080When I tell you when you play you have these runs that you got to like go through and you know, it's tough. 7300:04:12.680 --> 00:04:19.580What are you do you practice it over and over and over because at some point in time your fingers will now remember? 7400:04:20.380 --> 00:04:24.680That run without a problem. You will master that run. 7500:04:25.620 --> 00:04:28.320remember in a band marching band 7600:04:29.900 --> 00:04:31.500There was like 20 clarinet. 7700:04:33.920 --> 00:04:36.120Mind you I wasn't the best. 7800:04:36.780 --> 00:04:43.889When it came to play the clarinet, however, I can March my ass off. I was a great marcher. So when it came time in the 7900:04:43.949 --> 00:04:46.480music for there to be a good run together. 8000:04:47.760 --> 00:04:51.660My marching hey down. 8100:04:52.200 --> 00:04:53.800but now the sound 8200:04:54.280 --> 00:05:01.126We're trying to display the sounds of the Audis. They can't hear us. You know, why because there's only two people that 8300:05:01.184 --> 00:05:02.680can actually play The Run. 8400:05:03.400 --> 00:05:10.093What do I have to do to become on the level of the two people that can actually play actually practices thing to wear. 8500:05:10.150 --> 00:05:13.100This is now a not a choke moment, but oh I got this. 8600:05:14.920 --> 00:05:18.020That's how you have to view whatever struggle. 8700:05:18.940 --> 00:05:26.140That you are dealing with. Interviews now I'm solid like I'm not going to say I'm the best person ever. However. 8800:05:26.300 --> 00:05:28.700I like conversing with people. I like talking to people. 8900:05:31.400 --> 00:05:37.900Just so happens. I have to sell myself. I'm not a salesperson by any means. However, I do know my stuff. 9000:05:38.500 --> 00:05:40.000I'm not the best at it. 9100:05:40.460 --> 00:05:43.660I'm pretty damn good in the best part about me is. 9200:05:45.600 --> 00:05:47.500Where I am working on something. 9300:05:48.640 --> 00:05:55.102That leaves room for growth. I'm not saying I'm the best. So now I'm not but I'm not above learning this little small 9400:05:55.157 --> 00:05:58.140thing. I have now. I'm at a point where yes, I'm good. 9500:05:58.960 --> 00:05:59.860I could be great. 9600:06:00.640 --> 00:06:04.240are there resources that allow me to learn even more so 9700:06:05.660 --> 00:06:07.160making yourself 9800:06:08.000 --> 00:06:10.700The best you can be requires repetition. 9900:06:11.140 --> 00:06:11.640work 10000:06:13.080 --> 00:06:14.980You might cry I cried. 10100:06:15.700 --> 00:06:18.100Just a termination. 10200:06:19.220 --> 00:06:19.820Make it. 10300:06:22.100 --> 00:06:29.200Have fun as creepy as I say have fun in the process of becoming a better you nobody else can do it. 10400:06:31.100 --> 00:06:33.800Everybody got the statue on what they think you should be. 10500:06:34.340 --> 00:06:34.640or 10600:06:35.300 --> 00:06:39.800How far you should go? However, you start again if you start to believe those things. 10700:06:40.860 --> 00:06:45.560You won't get as far as you can go with my friend. She's believed all these other people and I'm like 10800:06:46.660 --> 00:06:51.060What are you doing? You've been this position one position for 4 years. 10900:06:51.420 --> 00:06:52.720Did you have not? 11000:06:54.280 --> 00:07:00.476You've been overlooked and I when you say Overlook because it requires you to actually put for put your foot forward to do 11100:07:00.527 --> 00:07:00.680it. 11200:07:02.380 --> 00:07:08.280She was comfortable just complacency that all why didn't deserve it. Who says that you don't deserve it. 11300:07:09.560 --> 00:07:14.660Who told you that for you to solidify and validate that? 11400:07:15.520 --> 00:07:19.120Actual statement I give that statement no life because you know, why? 11500:07:20.100 --> 00:07:21.300If I don't deserve it. 11600:07:22.020 --> 00:07:24.920Now I'm going to work for it when it does come up again. I got it. 11700:07:28.560 --> 00:07:29.360When you sit back. 11800:07:32.440 --> 00:07:33.740When you sit back. 11900:07:35.040 --> 00:07:40.688Be prepared for other people to step forward and move fast you like they're going to go ahead and take it. They're not 12000:07:40.736 --> 00:07:46.479waiting for you to be like what she finally got it. Okay now is give her the position No they want you to earn it. They 12100:07:46.527 --> 00:07:50.740want you to appreciate it. They want you to actually they want to feel that you will do. 12200:07:51.260 --> 00:07:58.208Your utmost best in that position like they view you in the position that you're working in and they see how complacent 12300:07:58.267 --> 00:07:59.260you are. How just 12400:07:59.560 --> 00:08:01.860Not involved you are that stuff. 12500:08:04.200 --> 00:08:09.891Is what they see, so of course when it comes time for a promotion say well, I mean she's not really doing this job with 12600:08:09.939 --> 00:08:11.900why would we put her up for the next one? 12700:08:14.560 --> 00:08:16.660You got to actually put forth the effort. 12800:08:17.840 --> 00:08:19.140To get what you want. 12900:08:20.400 --> 00:08:25.400If there is a position if someone else got it before you then is not is not a big. 13000:08:25.780 --> 00:08:29.880Issue and talking to the person who did the hiring well. 13100:08:30.560 --> 00:08:36.160In what ways can I become better to next time be considered for the promotion It's all about wording too 13200:08:38.000 --> 00:08:43.351You don't want to be in attacking mode. You want to be in the more understanding. Hey, I want to try and get better type deal 13300:08:43.395 --> 00:08:47.900of you because you altimate Lee want you should want to get better if you want to stay where you are. 13400:08:49.580 --> 00:08:50.980the be happy 13500:08:51.820 --> 00:08:54.920What's the pay that you're getting how you're being treated the hours you're working all that great stuff. 13600:08:56.040 --> 00:08:56.540simple as that 13700:08:58.500 --> 00:08:59.200Put in the work. 13800:09:00.860 --> 00:09:02.160Enjoy the process. 13900:09:03.720 --> 00:09:05.520of becoming a better you 14000:09:06.400 --> 00:09:11.600That's what happened overnight. It's not something you go. See in a month is not something you would see in a year. 14100:09:12.040 --> 00:09:13.440Is something you will feel? 14200:09:14.640 --> 00:09:18.240It's not something you see I can physically change all day. 14300:09:18.940 --> 00:09:22.240however, my mental growth my personal growth my 14400:09:24.200 --> 00:09:28.320my professional growth that stuff. 14500:09:28.620 --> 00:09:35.948You don't see you feel the difference just even a conversation with somebody if you didn't know technical terms, this that and 14600:09:36.009 --> 00:09:36.620the other? 14700:09:38.240 --> 00:09:40.240And it was a struggle for you to keep up in a conversation. 14800:09:41.100 --> 00:09:41.900now you 14900:09:42.480 --> 00:09:48.543You're in the same conversation with a different group of people and now you're actually engaging you're putting your 15000:09:48.594 --> 00:09:54.761opinion out there. It's all relevant to the conversation. You don't feel lost. That's your growth. That's the growth that 15100:09:54.813 --> 00:09:55.280you feel. 15200:09:56.120 --> 00:10:01.620If they even with in a professional setting arm the first time I went to like a big networking event. 15300:10:02.860 --> 00:10:04.660to do wholesaling of houses. Mind you I am 15400:10:05.380 --> 00:10:06.180by myself 15500:10:07.460 --> 00:10:08.360I never 15600:10:08.740 --> 00:10:11.640First off. I'm a very shy person surprisingly. 15700:10:13.580 --> 00:10:14.680Especially when I first meet people 15800:10:15.440 --> 00:10:17.240I really I feel like I've outgrown it. 15900:10:18.460 --> 00:10:21.460So now I'm in a position where I'm around like all these. 16000:10:22.200 --> 00:10:28.515It was like a hundred people that were all trying to, you know, do wholesaling and get their business all set in there. I 16100:10:28.568 --> 00:10:29.200am just like 16200:10:29.800 --> 00:10:31.300What have I stepped into? 16300:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.840I paid money now. I'm listening to this. I see this person. All right, cool. 16400:10:37.720 --> 00:10:39.420I find is one person I talk to. 16500:10:40.020 --> 00:10:43.020All right quick stick with them. We're good Nahh they left me. 16600:10:43.460 --> 00:10:44.460they left me 16700:10:45.980 --> 00:10:46.980fast forward again 16800:10:48.480 --> 00:10:50.380to an event 16900:10:52.400 --> 00:10:54.800I would say was probably about six months ago. 17000:10:55.920 --> 00:10:58.520Mind you that first event I went to the outside was in my 17100:11:00.460 --> 00:11:02.160Maybe like 23. 17200:11:03.680 --> 00:11:04.5802223 17300:11:05.400 --> 00:11:07.700Now I'm 29 in this event. I'm just okay. 17400:11:09.200 --> 00:11:11.500We're taking this whole networking. Thanks a whole nother level. 17500:11:12.080 --> 00:11:14.580Meeting these different people now you're realizing the actual. 17600:11:16.020 --> 00:11:20.220The point of meeting all these other people contacts contacts contacts. 17700:11:22.720 --> 00:11:25.120That's the thing that you once you realize. 17800:11:25.940 --> 00:11:30.240Your purpose there what you're supposed to be doing there. Then you realize the point of it. 17900:11:31.020 --> 00:11:33.320Just to know the growth then. 18000:11:34.000 --> 00:11:38.800Just to feel the growth from when I was first in that situation to where I am now. 18100:11:40.040 --> 00:11:40.540that took 18200:11:41.000 --> 00:11:42.2006 years 18300:11:43.300 --> 00:11:44.5006 years 18400:11:47.420 --> 00:11:50.620Not saying I wasn't I wasn't purposely trying to work on it, but 18500:11:51.240 --> 00:11:52.240Now I'm back in this environment. 18600:11:53.620 --> 00:11:56.220Here's what I did wrong the first time. Let me better myself. 18700:11:57.360 --> 00:12:02.160That's what it takes to become a better you you personally have to realize the work. 18800:12:04.520 --> 00:12:05.420That needs to be done 18900:12:05.960 --> 00:12:10.360or you need to realize how uncomfortable you felt in this environment and now 19000:12:12.220 --> 00:12:15.420I'm back in this how am I going to better myself to be able to? 19100:12:16.000 --> 00:12:18.800Not feel uncomfortable to be able to stand with. 19200:12:19.840 --> 00:12:20.940and to be able to contribute 19300:12:24.660 --> 00:12:25.360Focus 19400:12:26.040 --> 00:12:29.040A lot of these young kids nowadays they are too busy. 19500:12:29.680 --> 00:12:31.880focusing on other people 19600:12:32.360 --> 00:12:36.060Too busy focusing on with this person have or too busy. 19700:12:36.760 --> 00:12:38.760trying to keep up with this person and 19800:12:39.600 --> 00:12:44.000What is the social media big hype challenge thing is like? 19900:12:44.840 --> 00:12:51.740You've got to tune it all out because you know what at the end of the day. It does not affect you on a one-on-one level. 20000:12:52.360 --> 00:13:01.518I hope you all Implement some of these suggestions remember to work on a better you begins with y o and you until we meet 20100:13:01.594 --> 00:13:06.060again, this is Melanie McFadden in Mentor Mill signing off.