Blessed Mum: Recent Episodes
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Do you feel like God doesn’t speak to people? Or do you wonder if it is just something from Bible times?Well, I learned a new phrase today – Sacred Echoes. It’s a phrase that explains what has been happening for me this week, and it’s only Thursday!
Usually, when I hear the same idea more than once within a few days, I accept that God is trying to hit me over the head with an idea. And when I say ‘hit,’ I don’t mean it in a bad way.
I mean that God is trying to speak to me! He is trying to get a message across, and He knows that I can be a bit dense and need to hear things multiple times if I am going to take notice.
Stick with me! You’ll see how God is showing me that only He can truly nourish us, that Jesus is the ultimate gift, and that He wants unity for us!
Sunday’s Message – The Box and The BreadYou may not get to church on Sundays, but my family usually does. I am sad when we have to miss it. This week, just so I wouldn’t miss the service in person (versus online), I needed to give my six-year-old EVEN MORE SCREEN TIME and earbuds. Let me tell you – it was worth it!
First off, Praise and Worship is my jam. It’s one of my happy places.
The lights get dimmed just a bit, I can sway and sing, and talk to God through the music.
Then came the lesson on John 6. If you want to listen, then check it out here. So our pastor often starts his teaching off with a story. Who doesn’t like a fun story, right? It’s super relatable for me because my 8 and 6-year-old sons still do this sometimes.
- He shares about how his kids used to open up Christmas presents. They would tear off the wrapping paper, make an exclamation of excitement, and then run off to play with the box rather than the actual gift.
So what does this have to do with Jesus?
I am going to answer that, but not just yet. This comes up again on Tuesday.
- The lesson continues – this time with a strange kind of statement from our pastor.
- When you eat, do you chew the food and then spit it out?
No! That would be weird and kind of gross!
- When you eat, do you chew the food and then spit it out?
I agree. What’s the point of chewing the food if you aren’t going to swallow it? I understand that you might take a big bite of chocolate cake and then remember what the scale said that morning, but you have already committed! Swallow that bite! Food is meant to nourish, and you need to eat it for that to happen! Alright, so this weird statement makes more sense once you look at the second half of the chapter. If you have a Bible, then check out John 6:25 – 59. These verses are all about how Jesus says He is the Bread of Life.
The Bible is so full of metaphors, and I love that because I used to be a Secondary English teacher. Jesus used them a lot – they were part of His teaching style.
When you read the words of God in the Bible, you are nourishing your soul!There are entire industries based around caring for your mind and body, but did you know that there is something super simple that you can do to care for your soul? Reading a little bit of the Bible each day will feed you in a way like nothing from this World ever could.
Monday’s Message – UnityAnd so the week continues.
This year, I have the luxury of two kids both in school all day! What does that mean? It means I have a quiet house. And I do not mean that in a bad way! If you know my kids, then you know they are loud and busy. With the quiet hours, I can now work from home through Blessed Words Copywriting, volunteer, attend BSF, and listen to great Christian podcasts while I am doing chores! Jennie Allen’s Made For This podcast always has interesting topics or guest speakers. This week I heard about her upcoming GLOBAL event called Gather25. So, I have never attended one of her IF Gatherings, but the one she has planned for 2025 is going to be way different. She has a heart for creating UNITY among Christians all over the world.
I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church.
Then there were a lot of years of no connection to God.
In my 20s I attended a Presbyterian church – just because I wanted to be in their choir.
In my 30s I attended a non-denominational Christian Church and then a Baptist one.
Today, in my 40s, I am attending another non-denominational Christian Church. I picked this one because I could see its teachings and messages come from the Bible.
I say all of this just to share that I have exposed myself to different approaches to Christian faith. And that is probably what has led me to be who I am today.
I love the idea that Jennie Allen and her team are spearheading an event that will connect Christians from all denominations and all countries to UNIFY us!Tuesday’s Message – The Box (Explained)Another Day. Another Lesson.
Volunteering around your community is amazing! I say that, in part, because I am just beginning to serve at The Christian Help Center. God used one of the leaders in this organization to start a round of Sacred Echoes, also known as ‘Hitting Melissa as Hard as Possible’ so she can learn a beautiful lesson!
Do you remember the story about The Box? Well, the introductory story that started this week’s round of recurring messages came full circle on Tuesday. Turns out, Jim at The Christian Help Center heard my pastor’s lesson on John 6 as well! He took the idea of The Box – the one that your kids would rather play with than the expensive toy inside of it – and ran with it!
So let’s back up just a bit.
The first section of John 6 shares the day when Jesus feeds five thousand people using just five small barley loaves and two small fish. It’s the fourth sign that John records. After this sign, the Jews thought that Jesus must be the prophet or man who would come in and lead the Israelites back into a status of power and freedom from the Roman Empire. He wasn’t here for that – but that is what they were waiting for. The chapter continues from His feeding 5,000 people to the conversation of the Bread of Life.
See, the Jewish people who were following Jesus around and listening to Him teach were focused on their rich history through Moses. Their conversation with Jesus quickly connects back to Moses feeding the people with manna out in the desert.
Get ready for a metaphor because I’m gonna use one right now.
A box can hold things together, but it can also be very restricting if you are the one inside of it.
Ya see they loved The Box – or the laws that began with God’s rulings through Moses. They cherished these laws because they were part of their rich history and part of what set them apart from the people around them. When Jesus came, the laws that fit into that tidy Box didn’t mean as much anymore because He is the Bread of Life – the Way to a closer relationship with God.
Get this.
Jesus Is The Awesome Gift Inside The Box. We don’t need the laws of the Jewish faith to show us our sin and separation from God.
We do, however, need to believe in Jesus’ power and identity to connect with God.
Don’t be the kid who opens a present and ignores the gift that is inside of it! Sure, a box is cool, but you know that the present itself is meant to bless you way more than the cardboard!
Wednesday’s Message – The Gift (Forget The Box), The Bread, and Unity!I LOVE it once the week rolls around to Wednesday because that is the day I get to go to Bible Study Fellowship! Wednesday morning was a gray, rainy one. It was a downpour. I sat at the end of the driveway in the van with my kids so they wouldn’t be soaked by the time they got on the school bus! That kind of weather can send me into a mild depression, but the nasty weather this week didn’t keep me down. I drove the 40 minutes through rain and fog and vehicles that should have had their lights on with contentment! You know when you walk into a meeting or group of people and you’re already excited because you just know it’s gonna be good? That’s how I feel every Wednesday.
There is a hodgepodge group of women in our discussion group, and that is probably why we always have amazing conversations. We poured over the fact that Jesus prayed for us. He – The Gift – prayed for UNITY among His people!
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father” (John 17:20-21 NIV). The unity that Jennie Allen’s upcoming global event is centered on came up in this verse, and it came up in five other instances in my notes from the previous week as well!
Sacred Echoes – Unity is coming if we embrace it!Then I had to lean over and make sure I wasn’t losing my mind when the Lecturer said, “When you eat, do you chew the food?” What?! What are the chances of hearing that idea twice in a matter of four days? Really! She was driving home the point that you need to give God glory through your actions. Reading the Bible is a way to do that!
Sacred Echoes – Jesus is the Bread of Life; let the Bible nourish your soul!Thursday’s Question – So now what?This is an interesting week. I have a lot of highs, but I also have a lot of lows.
Smattered in between all of these awesome Ah-ha! Moments with God, I’ve had some rough moments with my kids.
- I swore in front of the boys this week – thankfully the 6-year-old didn’t hear it.
- I had to have a stern talk about bullying with the 8-year-old on Tuesday.
- I yelled like I never have before just to make them listen to me like they do to their father.
So what do I do with the beauty that I think God has tried to hit me with?I’m gonna keep nourishing my soul with The Bread. I’m gonna keep reading my Bible in the hopes that I see what God wants to show me. I’m gonna work on my self-control and anger. This Blessed Mum can’t do this alone though. I need the Holy Spirit, and I sure would appreciate your prayers.
And speaking of prayers, I want to share a line from my BSF John study. “When we pray continually, we live in continuous dependence on God and grow in fellowship with Him. What a profound privilege!” (BSF’s John Study, 316).
If the Bible is my Bread and Prayer is my Breath, then I really will be a Blessed Mum. My kids will be blessed too because when I fill myself with beautiful goodness, it is bound to ooze out onto them when I give them bedtime snuggles.
If you know my kids, this little glimpse into our days will give you a chuckle. My mum thought it was pretty good, and we started referring to each other as servants on her last visit.
Stick with me! I am hopeful that you can have a mindset shift just like I did when it comes to the word servant and your family role. I know so many of my friends and family members just don’t open up a Bible on the regular, or maybe don’t even have one. But, I’ve gotta tell you – it’s pretty awesome.
So, let’s set the scene.
My youngest son is perched up on his chair, wrapped in blankets. He “wants to be warm,” but for some reason doesn’t put socks on. I don’t pretend to understand the mind of a five-year-old boy. He had the iPad in front of him – most likely watching Bluey. That show was on a lot over Winter Break. I was most likely emptying the dishwasher – that happened a lot over Winter Break too.
“Mom, can you get me some water?”
“No. I’m busy. You can get it though.”
“But I don’t wanna be cold! And I don’t wanna miss my show!”
I can only imagine how my face looks when he asks me to do stuff that I know he can do. I’m sure my head tilts to the side and I squinch up my eyes. Then of course a litany of thoughts run through my brain and I tell myself ‘No!’
“Sam, I’m not your servant, ya’ know.”
“Please!”
And with that please you can call up the ridiculously cute images of kids’ eyes growing twice their normal size, and then feel your strength dwindling. So, yeah. I got the kid a cup of water even though he could’ve gotten it himself.
But the kicker was, as soon as I placed it down next to him he said, “Thank you, servant!”
Ohhh! Yup, as my husband has told me, these sons of mine have me figured out. Especially the youngest son. But I wasn’t even mad. It was just funny at that moment because he did his cheeky little smile and went on with his day. All of which was made more complete by knowing that his mum was willing to serve as the servant.
So what does my new title of servant mean now?I love when encounters with my kids pop up again days later while I am reading my Bible.
Fast-forward a few days and picture a serenely quiet house. I was on a break from my BSF study of the Book of John and pulled out an old devotional, The Book of Mysteries by Jonathan Cahn.1 The English language can’t articulate all that the original Hebrew and Greek can, and that is one of the reasons this book is so fun to read.
I am going to give you a brief snippet of the page here:
“An angel,” said the teacher. “What do you know of angels?”
“They’re heavenly creatures…sent by God…with wings.”
“They don’t all have wings,” he said. “There are many different kinds of angels…cherubim, seraphim, warring angels, ministering angels…And then,” he said, “then…there are the other angels.”
“The other angels?”
“The earth angels,” he said.1
Unrelated, but when I read this my brain started playing Earth Angel by The Penguins! Ahh. This is how a woman’s brain works. Back to etymology now.
As I read further into Cahn’s devotional and did some searching online,2 I learned the words for angel in Hebrew and Greek:
- Hebrew – Malakh (a messenger)
- Greek – Angelos (a messenger)
If your mind conjures images of angels with beautiful, feathery wings floating somewhere up in the sky and holding a harp, I want you to shake your head a little bit. Ask yourself, instead, what the purpose of an angel could be. With Christmas not far behind us, do you think of the angel who came to tell Mary what God had in store for her? Gabriel came as a messenger to Mary (Luke 1:26-38).
Now get ready for another head shake to prepare your mind for a shift. What if the idea of earth angels is so much more than the old song from The Penguins? What if earth angels are people that God is using as messengers too?
Let’s Go Deeper into the WordSo where were these words used? Each devotional that Cahn has in this book references several verses – it’s meant to partner with Biblical study. Look to:
- Haggai 1:13
- Malachi 3:1
- Luke 7:24-27
Malakh + Servants in Haggai
“Then Haggai, the Lord’s messenger, gave this message of the Lord to the people: ‘I am with you,’ declares the Lord.”
Haggai 1:13
Reading just one verse doesn’t make sense. Jen Wilkin’s teachings have taught me that in the past. First off, let’s dig deeper into Haggai, a tiny book from the Old Testament. Haggai was a prophet, called by God, to spur His people on to rebuild the Temple! Haggai was called to speak specifically to Zerubbabel, the governor of Judah, and Joshua, the high priest. These men needed to be pushed to complete a temple that would truly honor God.
And in the last verse of Haggai, it says:
“ ‘On that day.’ declares the Lord Almighty, ‘I will take you, my servant Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel,’ declares the Lord, ‘and I will make you like my signet ring, for I have chosen you,’ declares the Lord Almighty”
Haggai 2:23
God used His malakh – His messenger – to speak to one of the most esteemed Jewish men of the day, and He called that man His servant!
Zerubbabel was referred to as a servant and connected metaphorically to a signet ring. Back in the day, a signet ring could be used to seal letters in a way that proved who the author was. If a king’s signet ring was given to one of his subjects, it could also be used to show that person was under the king’s protection.
Mindset Shift From Haggai: What is a Servant?So, in my crazy mum-brain, being called a servant shifted. If God was calling the governor of Judah a servant in one breath and then His signet ring in the next, then the term servant could be more esteemed in my eyes. If I can model the beauty of servanthood to my children, then will they also grow up to be men who serve?
Angelos + “Least In The Kingdom Of God” in Malachi and LukeI love reading Jesus’ words in Luke when He says,
“This is the one about whom it is written:
‘I will send my angelos ahead of you, who will prepare your way before you.’Luke 7:27
Jesus was echoing words from the Old Testament here. He did that a lot. While John the Baptist prepared the way for people to hear Jesus, he was also a messenger of God even before he was born! In Luke 1:44 we read that he “leaped for joy” in his mother’s womb when he heard Mary’s voice. So. Amazing. Not only did he spread the good news of Jesus’ coming as an adult, but led Mary to sing a song of praise while she carried Jesus in her womb.
Jesus also had a way of speaking that made his followers really think. Like this –
I tell you, among those born of women there is no one greater than John; yet the one who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he”
Luke 7:28
I had to look up some commentary on this, but it really connects back to the word that started all of this – SERVANT! Referring to someone as a servant or slave or lowest of the low does not necessarily have a negative connotation in Christianity. In the verse above, “Jesus is saying that the vilest sinner who repents and enters the kingdom is greater than John who is greater than all the Pharisees, scribes, and priests who heard his message and rejected it.”3
Mindset Shift From Malachi + LukeReaders of the Greek would have seen John the Baptist called angelos – both in Malachi and much later in Luke. Today, in my 21st century perspective, I see angelos and think ‘perfect being from God.’ But the truth is, nothing is perfect other than God! And even more, I need to check my life – my relationships, my reading, my connections. Who could God be using to send a message to my family and me?
I also need to embrace the truth that I am a sinner…every day, folks. But that title, and the fact that I am often a servant in my own house, is not a bad thing. When I acknowledge how I mess up and serve out of love, I am WAY CLOSER to Jesus.
So, Now What?!Please comment with ridiculous conversations you have been having with your family and friends. I would love to hear the words that stick out. Because, who knows…those words might just prompt me to look up the etymology of what they used to be. And that journey of learning is never a waste.
Sources1. Cahn, Jonathan. “The Mystery of the Secret Angels.” The Book of Mysteries, FrontLine, Lake
Mary, FL, 2018, pp. 40–40.
- Parsons, John. “The Angel of the Lord.” Hebrew for Christians,
www.hebrew4christians.com/Scripture/Parashah/Summaries/Vayera/Angel/angel.html#lo
aded. Accessed 11 Jan. 2024.
- “What Does Luke 7:28 Mean?” BibleRef.Com, Got Questions Ministries,
www.bibleref.com/Luke/7/Luke-7-28.html. Accessed 11 Jan. 2024.
Have you ever had a singular concept come up again and again? Sometimes it’s not a concept, but a verse. Usually I take these times as God’s way of slapping me in the face – not in a mean way but a, “Hey! Look at this!” kinda moment. Over the past two weeks the idea of identity came up again and again.
Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary says that identity is the distinguishing characteristic or personality of an individual. That sounds like a lot of gobbly-goop to me. Rephrased, in a normal way, is ‘the things about people that make them who they are’.
Sounds pretty simple. Buf if you type ‘blogs on identity’ into your Google search window you will find SO MANY results. I’m going to come at this from a different perspective though. I want you to think about your identity with Jesus. I am the Blessed Mum afterall!
So what made this week so focused on identity?On Monday night I posed a very reasonable question to our church family at Small Group. I was the fill-in facilitator so I was really just reading the questions on the page.
Do you feel pressured to say “yes” to every good thing or opportunity?
Hmm. Do I feel pressured to say “yes”?
Uh, yeah, I do. Rewind a couple of years to our previous church in Maryland. I’m the one who used to sign up for volunteering in the kids church every week when I saw a ‘Need’.
What started out as my way of helping where I saw a physical need quickly turned into feeling that this was who I was. I would tell myself that I was a good volunteer. I remember thinking, ‘Well, I don’t work during the week so I can do this on Sundays.’ It took our pastor telling me that there were others who could serve, and I didn’t need to do it every week.
Today I have a healthy boundary set for myself. I serve with the kids twice a month. The other Sundays are for me to get poured into. I love Worship time – singing along with the praise team is special for me. Listening to the message from our pastor – with no distractions – is a gift. The fact that I can have this balance makes my time with the two and three-year-olds all the more beautiful too. This past Sunday with the kids left me feeling happy, and the lesson was on obedience. I guess two and three year olds put a different spin on that concept.
So how does this relate to IDENTITY?When I start to identify as a volunteer for the preschool ministry, I am totally missing the way-bigger picture. My ‘doing’ moments do not show my IDENTITY.
I am a beloved daughter of God!
I am loved and forgiven by Jesus!
I am a student through the Holy Spirit’s prompting!
I am an image bearer of our Triune God!
I can downplay my identity like no other.
My identity in Christ is way cooler than anything else.
The face-slapping continued…On Tuesday morning I had MOPS. They are starting to rebrand themselves as The MomCo – check it out here.
Anyways, the Coordinator and I had agreed on watching The Power of Naming with Jess Connolly. I actually watched the video twice because I had to see what it was all about before we shared with the other moms. Well, Jess dove into Genesis and the translations of the Hebrew words used to describe God’s creations. She focused on the Greek word ‘towb’ for the first five days of Creation – the days when God made the sun, land, skies and oceans, sea creatures and land creatures. This term means good, pleasant, or agreeable. Then, after God created people, the word ‘meod’ comes in. This means ‘muchness’.
So there, in the beginning of the Bible, we are able to read that God created people to be more than good, but very good.
Instead of looking at a career or family role or what my weight is that morning, I can focus on the fact that God made me – and all of us – to be characterized as a very good creation from the beginning. Later that day, with my head still thinking about how God used His Words to create us, I got a text from a friend at Church. She wanted to bring me with her to a class to hear Putty Putman speak. Well, yes. Yes, I wanted to go.
I already told you that I struggle with saying no to any good opportunity.
But, it was Cub Scouts night.
Other mamas, you can insert literally anything here.
But, it was swim lesson night.
But, it was choir practice night.
But, it was basketball night.
But, it was karate night.
ALL OF THESE ARE GOOD THINGS TO DO WITH OUR KIDS!
Here’s another ‘but’ for ya’… but my husband was home.
Am I the only mum who feels like she has to be at all of her kids’ events?
Am I the only mum who feels like she can’t ask her husband – the father of her children – to take the reins sometimes?!
These are just silly thoughts. I know they are. Logically, anyways. Yet at that moment I felt that I must be there for the boys. And I would argue that I felt that way (and most likely will again) because I have begun to see my identity so completely in motherhood.
Motherhood is beautiful and such a blessing!
Motherhood is not my identity.
My eyes kind of bugged out of my head as I wrote that.
Insight into what is literally going through my mind right now –
What?! Motherhood is totally my identity. I changed my identity from ‘High School English Teacher’ to ‘Mother’ seven years ago. That has pretty much been the basis of my life for the past seven years.
Okay, now I am gonna jump back out of my head because I can’t type all of the things that fly around in there on a minute-by-minute basis. My mind definitely needs some re-working because I know you just read that God made me ‘tov meod’ (check out this linked article I found) from the beginning.
So, I asked my husband if he could take both of our boys to Cub Scouts. And he said YES! There was some (sort of) fake crying over having to do bedtime too, and that was that.
So what is Identity for Christians?Here’s the big point. What is the identity of someone who claims to be a Christian?
When Putty Putman started speaking, he went back to Genesis – just like I had heard earlier in the day through the Jess Connolly video. I was again shown what identity was, and this time from a different perspective. Putty’s teaching was different from Jess Connolly’s video on The Power of Naming. He was about to change my way of thinking about humanity.
If you have a Bible around, go get it! Open to Genesis 2.
…waiting for you to go do that.
So in Genesis 1 it says, “And God said,” six times. But the description of the creation of mankind does not follow that same format. The first five days of creating use the act of speaking beautiful things into creation.
In Genesis 2 it goes even deeper into the moment when God actually made man. It says,
“Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”
Genesis 2:7
He – God – broke the pattern of speaking creation into being. With us, God used His hands to fashion us!
So God used His voice to create AMAZING THINGS! He used His voice to create the sun, the sky, the seas, the plants, the stars, the sea creatures, the animals.
Yet when it came to humanity, God used His hands down in the soil and His own breath.
Just sit and think on that notion for a minute.
What if your identity could be based in the fact that God fashioned humanity – YOU – with his own loving, capable hands?Why is Identity Important?It is so easy for you to get stuck in the cycle of creating your identity. You may base your identity around your job – I did that for years. But then what do you do when that job changes or you have to leave it? You may also base you identity on your role within your family. But then what do you do when your marriage falls apart? Or when your kids no longer need you? Who are you then?
Identity politics, or at least that terminology, came forward in the 1970s. In an effort to understand people, it is so very helpful to see:
- Gender
- Race
- Ethnicity
- Socio-economic status
It is important for government leaders, schools, and communities to see and understand these parts of their people. Social programs benefit from understanding the needs of the people who will use them. Schools need to see their students if they want to teach them effectively. Groups of people can cooperate and serve one another best when there is at least a basic awareness of one another.
But I see a greater need than focusing on these outward indicators for identity.
When you can look outside of yourself – and look to the beautiful truth of your identity with Christ – your life can change. No matter what your gender, race, ethnicity, financial situation, job, familial set-up… you can rely on the truth that God fashioned you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-14) to be a very good part of this world. Make that your new identity.
So what should you do with these ideas on identity now?Hopefully you feel inspired to think on this some more. I have ordered a couple of journals on Amazon for the sole purpose of having a set place to meditate on scripture and my questions that come from it. Check some journal options out here.
You might be the type of person who needs to talk about things out loud. I know sending Marco Polos to friends from afar has been helpful for me. But even better, just ask your partner or a good friend (who you can grab coffee or tea with) what they think. Talking through these kinds of ideas can be kind of hard, but doing that with someone who you love and respect can be a good place to start.
Is your identity caught in a negative self-talk loop? Maybe you struggle with body image like I do. Check out this book, Breaking Free from Body Shame by Jess Connolly. I really enjoyed hearing her at MOPS last month.
You want to see who this guy Putty Putman is and what he has to say about identity for Christians? Check out his books on Amazon here. He has a bunch of videos on YouTube and a website as well.
Really, I just hope you feel blessed by these words.
And I pray that I can teach my five and seven year old sons that their identity in Christ is so cool. Way cooler than any fleeting thing they will find here on this Earth.
It’s 12:30 and the countdown until the boys get off the school bus is already on.
Has the laundry been folded?
Is the dishwasher running?
Are dinner plans set?
What time are their karate classes tonight?
When will the husband be home, and did he have a late lunch or will he be starving?
Ugh. My mind is spinning.
These are some pretty common strains of thought, right? There are – at any one time – five to ten things on your list of things to get done. You may be juggling work, attending kids’ activities, doing household chores, keeping track of finances, checking in on family and friends, and all of this while trying to maintain focus.
Despite all of the things that make up the day, there is a push (perhaps even more so now in this 21st century world) to focus on the moment.
You may feel called to somehow balance EVERYTHING. Yes – that was a big ol’ yell!
But you don’t have to walk the tightrope that so many try to, and that may be the point that is the most important. Deep down, you too must yearn for deeper conversation with friends and for clearer purpose in life.
So, there has to be a way for you to focus on the beauty all around you and the people that make your soul sing. But how do you get to a point where you are able to focus on people and tasks that you truly care about?
What is the Science of Being Present?A quick search on Google brings up so many articles on mindfulness, being present, and the ability to focus. Turns out, it isn’t just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo and Buddhist monks ‘ohm-ing’. There are studies that have been done to show that breathing exercises that focus on diaphragm movement and other external sensory details can change your brain – for the better!
“Contrary to our hypothesis, no significant ERP changes were observed immediately after the 8-week intervention. However, after 6 months of mindfulness training, participants demonstrated ERP changes clustered at left occipitoparietal sites indicative of enhanced sensory processing.”1
This article has a lot of BIG words in it – and I encourage you to check it out in the sources down at the bottom, but what I am pulling away is that this practice of changing the way the mind works takes time. This is not a quick fix, but a lifestyle hack that 21st century people need! And it isn’t just about being able to focus on a task – it is also about fueling our physical bodies more mindfully.
Check out this article from Harvard Health. Mindfulness with food2 is a huge point of concern for men and women! I struggled with bulimia for YEARS, and am finally at a point where focusing on what I put into my body is starting to come more easily.
What does the Bible say about mindfulness and being present?You may not wonder about this, but I do. I love studying the Bible, and while all 66 books in it may not be riveting, it is amazing to see what strikes my friends and me when we open it up.
Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the power of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
- Do not conform to the power of this world –
- You don’t have to let your eyes be focused on 10 different things at once! Netflix, Facebook, text messages, Marco Polo videos, Pinterest and e-mails may all be readily available at your fingertips, but does that mean you need to see them all right now?
- …but be transformed by the renewing of your mind –
- You can close your eyes for five minutes and think about the air flowing into your lungs or the sound of the birds chirping on the other side of your window.
- You can work on memorizing a verse of scripture that calms and encourages you, then repeat that verse several times a day.
Don’t know what verses to even read? Use Google for something good! I love searching verses online, and a lot of times I just type in a phrase and AI steps in to help with the next step. Here is a link that will take you to 10 Bible verses that might just be the ones you need to see today.
Studying scripture might just be the way to renew your mind. Why is this call to live in the moment important? Summer will officially end on September 22nd this year, and the season that is sometimes considered to be the easy, slow time (cue Ella Fitzgerald singing) is actually the busiest for many. My family has pictures and mileage clocked on our van to prove that we crossed national and international borders. Our boys attended three different camps. Our calendar was booked out months in advance. It was a fast-paced summer. So now, as the beauty of autumn foliage just begins to show, I am grateful for the chance to take a deep breath and fall into some steadier routines that let me slow down. You are too – I just know it.
According to Forbes Advisor3, Americans get about a week and a half of paid time off each year. Just 11 days to plan vacations, schedule doctor appointments, and figure out what to do for unexpected time off for their kids or emergencies.You wake up, work, care for kids, manage a home, go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day. Somewhere in there – hopefully – is the chance to seek out beauty and maybe even some solitude. This won’t happen unless you make it a daily practice. You want to use each day in a beautifully productive way. But how?
What is stopping you from living in the here and now?You sit down to focus on a project and five other things pop up, right? I say ‘you,’ but really I mean ‘I’ – this cannot just be a me thing though. I sat down to try and write yesterday and kept popping back up.
Oh, I need a drink!
Ugh… now I have to pee.
Whoops! Should renew my MOPS membership now.
Look! Sara is messaging me on Marco Polo.
The laundry needs to get switched over – better go do that.
So, what is stopping you from living in the present?
Could it be these distractions that are listed above, or are you muddled in your own thoughts? A list of five things that float through my brain in a span of five minutes may be too embarrassing to type out here.
The everyday responsibilities will take you away from living in the here and now, they may even stop you from seeing beauty and feeling gratitude.
But many moms will also admit that the things that occupy their minds are also self-inflicted extras.
- You signed up to serve on PTA again this year, didn’t you?
- The kids’ activities have you hoppin’ six nights a week, don’t they?
- Your Pinterest scrolling leads to meals that take way too much prep, right?
- The pile of parenting books beside your bed never seems to get read, am I right?
- You want to have meaningful time with your spouse, but how does one even do that?
Who needs you to live in the present?It is now 2:30 PM here as I tap out these ideas – these thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head for two weeks. My boys will be home from school in just a bit, and when they get off the bus this now quiet house will be much louder. It’s ironic because as I sit here, wanting to talk about living in the present, I am pushing back on the arrival of the very people who I should be excited to be present with!
So who needs you to live in the present and be mindful of the here and now?
A challenge for you, and for me – right here!
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)
May you – and I – focus on beautiful moments today, on this last day of Summer. I am expecting something special, if we can both focus on one person or moment…one at a time.3
___________________________________________Sources1. Isbel, B., Weber, J., Lagopoulos, J. et al. Neural changes in early visual processing after 6 months of mindfulness training in older adults. Sci Rep 10, 21163 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-020-78343-w 2. Godman, Heidi. “Overeating? Mindfulness Exercises May Help.” Nutrition, Harvard Health Publishing, 8 Mar. 2022, www.health.harvard.edu/blog/overeating-mindfulness-exercises-may-help-202203282714 3. Baluch, Anna. “Average PTO In The US & Other PTO Statistics (2023).” Forbes Advisor, 30 Mar. 2023, www.forbes.com/advisor/business/pto-statistics/#:~:text=The%20average%20American%20worker%20gets,service%20increases%20to%2015%20days.&text=After%2010%20years%20of%20service%2C%20it%20rises%20again%20to%2017%20days Accessed 21 Sept. 2023. 4. One at a time: the unexpected way God wants to use you to change the world. Idleman – Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group – 2022
“Mom, what’s your favorite kind of fart?”
Bahahaha! This is the conversation of boy moms everywhere, right?! Maybe that is a sexist remark. I think girls talk about farts too.
“The ones that don’t smell. No, wait! The whoopie cushion fart!”
Just a couple of weeks ago one of the boys received two whoopie cushions for his birthday and the whole family had been playing with them. I never thought the almost-40 version of me would love whoopie cushions.
The next question caught me off guard though….
“Mom, what’s your favorite bad word?”
“Umm, I don’t have one. I try not to use them.”
This is no lie. I have been trying to take curse words out of my vocabulary since I started teaching high schoolers back in 2010, and that just continued once I had little ones at home with me all day.
Then, wait for it….
“I know what the Sh- word is.”
Inward cringing…what?!
“You do? What is it?”
Please don’t say shit!
“Shut up.”
Insert momentary sigh of relief.
Have you – the person reading this moment from my very enlightening van ride – had this same conversation with your child?!
Then he went on to inform me that even I said that sometimes.
Ugh!
“I know I have said that Jesse, but I shouldn’t. I need to work on controlling my frustration. Maybe start counting to ten before I blurt that out.”
When I looked back in the mirror, I could see his mind working, his brow furrowed and thinking.
The F-wordNow flash forward a few weeks.
The five- and seven-year-old were in the kitchen with me.
Maybe I was doing dishes.
Maybe they were watching ridiculous videos on YouTube Kids.
All I really remember is the older boy bringing up the F-word.
What the heck?!
Sam of course asked, “what’s the F-word?”
Knee-jerk response – “We don’t say that word.”
“Johnny said he’s allowed to say it at home.”
“Well, we don’t say it in our house Jesse.”
Sam isn’t deterred… he asks again.
“What’s the F-word? Is it toilet? Is it stupid? Is it poop? Is it idiot?”
Oh, dear goodness. His little eyes look at me with such sincere concern.
Ahh! Part of me wants to laugh while the other part of me wants to point out that none of these starts with ‘f’ and so cannot be the F-word! But instead, I look at our seven-year-old and, with a face that is as stern as I can muster, tell him to stop talking about it.
It’s like the Santa conversation all over again; how has only two years opened my oldest boy’s eyes so much?
So, what do I do when my kids start swearing?
Do I laugh it off and move on?
Am I worrying about a trivial parenting issue?
Call me old-fashioned, but I felt a tug when I read a verse from the book of Luke just the other morning.
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45)
I want to teach my boys that our words are just a mirror into our hearts and minds.
Instead of talking about our favorite bad words, I want us talking about our favorite good words…if there is such a thing.
I want, I pray, that my family is filled with an awe of natural beauty, an appreciation for our provisions, and a yearning for the goodness that comes from God. Then, don’t you think the words that begin in our minds and tumble out of our mouths will be far from the swear words that seem so appealing and interesting to my kids now?
So how do I do that?!
NATURAL BEAUTY
We are kind of obsessed with the ducks and geese who have started coming to our pond. We can see it from the kitchen window and Jesse’s room and yell out to each other whenever the birds make an appearance.
So, what do you think this made me think about doing?
Search Amazon – like you do too, right – for how to teach kids about nature. A beautiful book titled How to Teach Nature Journaling: Curiosity, Wonder, Attentionby John Muir Laws. If we spend our time focusing on the gorgeous birds right outside our window, then our minds will be focused on that, and our words will mirror those ideas, don’t ya think?!
APPRECIATION FOR PROVISIONS
Okay, so my first search on Amazon has me looking at all kinds of books that are about to be in my cart. Ha. We might need to head over to our library so that I don’t end up spending big bucks. My eldest is a self-proclaimed ninja since he started taking karate. Have you heard of the Ninja Life Hacks books by Mary Nhin?! The woman has several sets of books – including one on gratitude!
GOODNESS FROM GOD
Sam, the five year old, and I have started doing something each night during snuggles. We both thank God for one thing and then ask Him for help with one thing. Sam always ends up telling me what he said to God, and sometimes it is the best part of the day for me. In those moments I am trying to get him focused on the amazing blessings that we have – the parts of our lives that are so much better than the new toy he got at Target or the candy his teacher doled out. Toys and candy are the highlights of your kids’ lives too, right? Just kidding… sort of.
Did your thoughts spike up when you faced the parenting moment of first-uttered curse words? I would love to hear what you thought and did about it. Please share any helpful books or conversation starters with me.
I am a blessed mum, because of The Word I get to read each day, but hearing encouragement from others would just push my cup to overflowing.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”
(Psalm 32:8)
How many times have I asked myself, “What should I do now?! How am I going to raise these boys?”
8 AM rolls around and I have already made breakfast, packed lunches, separated two squabbling brothers, and sent them on their way to school. The morning chores pale in comparison to the emotions that spew out of the small bodies in my charge.
Does God feel this way as he looks down on us with His “loving eye”?
I genuinely appreciate that David wrote these words in the same psalm that speaks of confession.
If we can confess our sins, then we can also gratefully accept guidance from God’s Word.
If we can acknowledge our own vices, then dealing with our children becomes a much less haughty moment.
Anger, for example.
How many mothers have wanted to pull their hair out after dealing with the bedtime arguments that seem to pop up out of nowhere. Yet, it is in the quiet moments of night time snuggles that God uses my son to instruct me.
“Jesse, I really want you to work on your anger. Sam just wanted to see your Lincoln Log house.”
“Mom, I am only six. I should have it under control by the time I am ten.”
“Oh Jesse, lots of adults do not even have their anger under control.”
God’s Word never ceases to cause me to pause; seeking His face reminds me that while I am made in His image, I am also a woman who sins every day. How many times have I yelled at the boys unnecessarily? How many times have I uttered a silent, but equally dark, retort to my husband?
But God….
We can let the psalms pour over us – they are reassuring and calming. If I can turn to His Word, then I can allow myself to be instructed and led in the way I should go by one much higher and wiser than any here on Earth.
Raising children is a life-long endeavor. It is something that pulls on my mind, body, and spirit. How am I to do it with my own intellect and experience? The answer is… I am not.
I, and you, do not have to do any of it alone.
Be assured – His “loving eye” is on each of his daughters, and He longs to lead us closer to Himself…through our crazy children.
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