Cartridge Cinema Club: Recent Episodes
Mark Champlin & Alex Wallace
Your girlfriend's favorite post-ironic social justice video game movie podcast.
Hosted by Mark Champlin & Alex Wallace. Music by DJ TINMAN. Art by Courtney Coffman.
What if this movie is good actually? Haha nahh I'm just kidding...unless? No it's not...and yet?
rian johnson challenges audiences with tough questions like "isn't star wars lame and stupid?" really good point rian, yes it is
despite all odds we have released a podcast---The $5 Fair 'Nuff Cube: https://cubecobra.com/cube/list/fairnuffThe Redact the Draft Chaff Cube Rules Document: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VwK48lNcyONxapJocschT60Fu1b_t4KqGe2JV8z7xMI/edit?usp=sharingThe Mini Midrange Artifact Cube: https://cubecobra.com/cube/overview/637d4aa1fd59390f6fda15b9
Definitely a full 40 minutes of discussion about the Star Fox 64 promotional VHS that Nintendo Power sent to people's homes.
Albums discussed: hello kitty skates to the fuckin CEMETARY - Laura Les (2016) i just dont wanna name it anything with "beach" in the title - Laura Les (2017) Big Summer Jams 2018 - Laura Les (2018) Dog Show - Dylan Brady (2017) Peace & Love - Dylan Brady (2018) 100 gecs - 100 gecs (2016) 1000 gecs - 100 gecs (2019) 1000 gecs and the Tree of Clues - 100 gecs (2020) 10000 gecs - 100 gecs (2022)
Recommended further reading: food house - food house (2020) fishmonger - underscores (2021) boneyard aka fearmonger - underscores (2021) how i’m feeling now - charli xcx (2020) 3M - Tony Velour (2020) eel - torr (2021) things happen, it’s ok! - FROMTHEHEART (2020)
Alex's hyperpop playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6rY5xYnBLnE0nogklKX581?si=6b111ab16ee4410e
This only happened cus we didn't want to pay 15 dollars to watch Barney from How I Met Your Mother beat Santa at Mario Kart or whatever.
"A film like Wall-E exemplifies what Robert Pfaller has called ‘interpassivity’: the film performs our anti-capitalism for us, allowing us to continue to consume with impunity. The role of capitalist ideology is not to make an explicit case for something in the way that propaganda does, but to conceal the fact that the operations of capital do not depend on any sort of subjectively assumed belief." - Mark Fisher, Capitalist Realism
They finally made a fighting game movie without putting a tournament in it, and yet somehow they make you wish they did.
Quite possibly the most tenuous connection to the premise of the podcast we have ever constructed.
Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth are NOT boyfriends!! They're just really horny for each other.
They somehow made Monster Hunter into a settler colonial propaganda film in a completely different way than the usual Monster Hunter way.
Hate when I am just trying to make a fun video game about a cool green guy who shoots aliens, but I am haunted by the specter of capital.
Clock the fuck in girls and gays, it's time to watch another Dic show.
Here's the DeviantArt post we talked about: https://www.deviantart.com/filbarlow/art/Before-Captain-Nintendo-there-was-Buddy-Boy-312281346
We give you what you need. It may not be what you want.
Works discussed: Graduation (2007) 808s & Heartbreak (2008) My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010) Yeezus (2013) The Life of Pablo (2016) Lift Yourself (2018) Ye vs. The People (2018) Ye (2018)
The guys from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia are proud to present the worst fucking thing you've ever seen.
"Humor is such a subjective thing. I don't know that any one person really knows what's funny." - Jim Davis
114 episodes in and we can still be absolutely knocked on our asses by a shitty action movie based on a fighting game from 2010.
Wake up boys, time to push this boulder up the hill.
Works discussed: The Super Mario Challenge (1991) The Ice Capades with Jason Bateman and Alyssa Milano (1989) King Koopa's Kool Kartoons (1989)
Surprise bonus episode! We hope this helps you get through New Year's Purgatory Week.
Games discussed: Project M & Project + (starting at 2:38) mario.exe (starting at 14:38) Horizon: Zero Dawn (starting at 20:50) Burnout 2: Point of Impact (starting at 33:37) Dark Souls (starting at 45:06) Slippi & Diet Melee (starting at 58:12) Cyberpunk 2077 (starting at 1:06:19) Super Monkey Ball 2 (starting at 1:09:22) Pokémon Sword (starting at 1:11:23)
A highlight reel of moments from the first 100 episodes of Cartridge Cinema Club. Thanks for listening y'all.
A deep lore episode for the die hard fans. During this 30 minute test record where Mark sometimes sounds like a cool robot, we planned out the future of this podcast that you've now listened to a hundred god damn times.
This week we pay tribute to our favorite benevolent theatre kid and read his silly YouTube videos as a significant queer text.
The Netflix video game documentary tries to talk about the AIDS crisis and it goes VERY badly.
I'm honestly shocked that this is the first film we've watched with "Revelation" in the title.
This week we're joined by beloved twitter personality max turnbull to discuss our deep suspicion of yoshi and everything he stands for.
This week, Mark and Alex are able to vividly recall the plot and characters of Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
with increasing desperation sUPER FIGHTING ROBOT!! MEGA MAN!! SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT!!! MEGA MAN!!!!
This week we watched the lost Donkey Kong cartoon where Donkey Kong fucks a human lady.
He's gonna take you back to the past To play the shitty games that suck ass He'd rather have a buffalo Take a diarrhea dump in his ear He'd rather eat the rotten asshole Of a road killed skunk and down it with beer
He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd He's the Angry Video Game Nerd
When you turn on your TV Make sure it's tuned to channel three He's got a nerdy shirt and a pocket pouch Although I've never seen him write anything down He's got a Power Glove and a filthy mouth Armed with his Zapper he will tear these games down
He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd He's the Angry Video Game Nerd
He plays the worst games of all time Horrible abominations of mankind They make him so mad he can spit Or say cowabunga, Cowa-fuckin'-piece'a dog shit
They rip you off and don't care one bit But this nerd, he doesn't forget it Why can't a turtle swim? Why can't I land the plane? They got a quick buck for this shitload of fuck The characters names are wrong. Why's the password so long? Why don't the weapons do anything?
He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard These games suck so bad, he makes up his own words He's the angriest most pissed off gaming nerd He's the Angry... Atari Amiga CDi Colecovision Intellivision Sega Neo Geo Turbo Grafix 16 Odyssey 3DO Commodore Nintendo Nerd He's The Angry Video Game Nerd
We're absolutely shocked to report to you this week that season 1 of Red vs. Blue is only a little bit homophobic.
It was really easy to pick the episodes to watch for this week since we had banger options like "the one where they go to a Milli Vanilli concert" and "the racism episode".
This week we sat down and watched the most uncomfortable Nintendo propaganda piece since Donkey Kong Country.
It's only a matter of time before this podcast is sued by Billy Mitchell for defamation.
Mark is entirely fed up with Scooby-Doo this week while Alex is here to convince you its really gay.
I can't believe this charming and delightfully animated sci-fi adventure comedy film from 2012 doesn't have consistent or persuasive class politics.
We're only halfway through these movies and I personally find that to be fucking terrifying.
From the twisted mind of Uwe Boll comes another boring and confusing action movie for 12-year-olds.
We now return to our pal Skip's whimsical childhood fantasy land, Barcode McMurderboots and the No-Fun Brigade.
I can't believe this mid-2000s action movie based on a series of fighting games known for sexual exploitation has bad gender politics.
We really haven't spent enough time talking about Sonic the Hedgehog and foot fetishes on the podcast so this week we've really zeroed in on these important issues.
Spy Kids 3D has more interesting things to say about transhumanism than Ready Player One does.
This has been a long time coming, girls and gays. The first new video game movie since the inception of the podcast. Rat Cop, starring Danny Devito.
It's time for round 2 of Resident Evil, but first, a quick note on labor and Sonic the Hedgehog.
This week we're here to talk about how Pokémon: The Movie 2000 is anti-imperialist and how fucking gay Team Rocket is.
Marky Mark from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch committed several hate crimes as a teenager and has now returned to make us watch his shitty action movie from 2008.
Check out "Intergalactic Mario" by DJ TINMAN: https://soundcloud.com/dj-tinman-1/intergalactic-mario
We'll be right back!
Hey there eighth and final leader of the Soviet Union Mikhail S. Gorbachev, its the Super Mario Brothers Super Show!
Alex and Mark have convened at Triple C HQ to hold a meeting with the secret society of elders and watch a mediocre late 2010s action movie with bad politics.
We are here to unironically argue that the Animal Crossing movie is a lesbian romantic comedy.
Open this article: https://kotaku.com/this-is-probably-the-movie-version-of-sonic-the-hedgeho-1833048785
Stare at it for the duration of the podcast. Internalize it. Know this face. You will not soon forget it.
This week we watched Silent Hill, the tragic story of a man with a triangle-shaped face trying to make it in a world of square-shaped holes.
If you're like me, you've spent your entire life waiting for a movie where The Rock can talk to gorillas. Girls and gays, this is our time.
This week we watched the world's first video game movie, and girls and gays, holy shit, we've actually watched a good film.
The Legend of Zelda cartoon is single-handedly responsible for the downfall of western civilization and we are here to prove it.
We have entered the world. the sick, twisted world of Uve Boll, and girls and gays, I fear its too late to turn back.
We dreamed of making two cynical mid-twenties podcast hosts feel a genuine emotion...and we succeeded.
its fuckin late and ive been editing the podcast for two hours and no one reads the descriptions anyway ythis week we watched a movie about fast cars vroom vroom haha whee
Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth?
We're gonna talk about the dumb kung fu movie but y'all something FUCKED UP happened last week.
Never in your life will you be more disappointed to not see a man get his heart ripped out of his chest,
A man watches his child get brutally murdered in front of him in this movie and you feel absolutely nothing while it happens.
The Detective Pikachu trailer was released last week and Mark and Alex are having a collective out-of-body experience, followed by nearly an hour of exasperated discussion on The Rock's least favorite movie, "Doom".
After Alex takes up a solid minute failing to remember how to say "framing device", the crew spends an entire episode digging into the absolutely appalling gender politics of 2007's "Hitman".
Everything remains entirely under control this week as Mark and Alex are able to vividly recall the plot and characters of "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" in exquisite detail.
This week, Mark and Alex spend 45 minutes trying and failing to express how they felt during the bewildering and harrowing experience that is watching 1993's infamous communist propaganda film "Super Mario Bros."
This week, Mark and Alex tackle the 2001 "classic", Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, with a focus on the objectification of women in video games and the strange surrealist appeal of early 2000s CGI.
For their inaugural episode, Mark and Alex take a look at 2009's "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li", and walk away with a spirited discussion about female protagonists, martial arts sequences, and the Black Eyed Peas.