The Book Was Better: Recent Episodes
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This week we struggle through the ridiculously long novelization of Kate Beckinsale in leather epic Underworld! And joining me is guest host Sabrina as we try to work out a) what is even going on, and b) where vampires or werewolves are more to our lycan. And what's worth buying at Kate's Baking Sale?
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This week is a grown ups only foray into the problematic baby world of pseudo Paris/Tokyo when we read the novelization of the conceptual nightmare that is Rugrats in Paris. And joining me is Paris expert Paris! Let's get to the (diaper-clad) bottom of this!
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This week our pulses are QUICKENING while we're GATHERING up the strength to win the ultimate PRIZE and... ahhh forget it, we read Highlander. Guest host Jacinta and I finally catch up on both the book and film that everyone has been losing their heads over. SEEWHUTIDIDTHERE?
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This week the Bond is better when we read the gruelling novelization of movie/N64 game Goldeneye! And joining me is the Oddjob to my Jaws, Courtney Coulson, who has done all the hard work in prepping this epic extra length podcast! Will we get to the end or will it all come crumbling down around us? This is not a joke!
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This week we're not lyin' when we read the surpisingly great novelization of man-eaters gone wild movie The Ghost and the Darkness! Joining me is incredibly familiar guest host Jacinta as we learn all about the actions of these fearsome beasts! It's Jaws with claws on paws!
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This week we are immersed in one of the hottest pop culture romances ever when we read the bafflingly long novelization of Beethoven's 2nd. And joining me - with a U.S. perspective - is my horrified guest host Lauren. It's about a dog, who is in love, but then it becomes about a whole lot of other unrelated stuff. BURGER BINGE!!
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This week we get all deep in them tombs when we read the ridiculously and unnecessarily long novelization of the very simple Tomb Raider. And joining me via the skypernet is first time guest host Edward as we go exploring for hidden meaning and secrets in this ancient and hard to read prose. It'll make you feel very Jolie!
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This week we are recruited for greater things when we read the very padded novelization of much-ripped off cult classic The Last Starfighter. Joining me in the cockpit is co-pilot Hector Weenis as we face the shocking realisation that all our fond childhood memories might be lies. Includes Easter eggs.
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This week things take a dark turn when we read the thigh-opening crime thriller novelization of Basic Instinct. Listen as guest host Lizzy and I shudder with horror at Detective Nick Curran, one of the most disgusting crapbag characters ever created, and his deplorable downward spiralling antics. Trigger warnings apply!
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This week we take another shot at Vietnam, when we read the oily, pumped up and surprisingly graphic novelization of Rambo: First Blood II. And joining me from afar is irrepressible co-host Xavier, as we milk the most out of the brand new mixing desk. Learn more about Rambo than you ever wanted to know, including a surprise appearance by his sidekick... Scrotey? JUST LISTEN TO THIS THING.
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Book Was Better is back, baby! Or is it Book Was BEEter? And what BEEtter way than to kick off a new era than with the novelization of Jerry Seinfeld's brain fart Bee Movie! Joining me is BEE-utiful co-host Paris as we find out all about honey, memes, bee on human love, bees, bees and bees. Plus bees! BEES.
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The Book Was Better returns from hiatus with a brand new episode thanks to the labours of far-more-motivated-than-I-am co-host Courtney Coulson! We review the overwritten novelization of the much-maligned Star Trek Nemesis which confirms for me how much I dislike TNG - but can I pull Courtney across tot he dark side?
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This week we get all sparkly for you gold-ram brownpants when we read the novelization of the movie of the TV series: Serenity. But don't panic, I am lucky enough to have Firefly expert Lizzy Unpronounceable as co-pilot to help me navigate your precious space-lingo! May the force be with you!
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This week it's a case of the Bond Was Better when we read our first 007 novelization, The World is Not Enough! Guest host Agent Coulson has done plenty of interesting research, and I do plenty of puerile derailing, in this epic-sized episode where we expose the dirty, dark secrets of James Bond's dossier! Rest assured, we have a license to THRILL! And SPILL (the beans). And KILL (about an hour and a half of your time).
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This week we learn that ANYONE can cook when we read the novelization of Pixar's rat-on-chef's-head classic: Ratatouille! Joining me on this sojourn to Paris is guest host Jacinta, as we learn all about French, soup, and pulling your hair to tell you what to do!
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This week we go back in time and finish off a BWB trilogy when we read the (confusing) novelization of Back to the Future Part III. Joining me is fellow cowboy Zach as we figure out a whole lot of unsolved mysteries, involving hills/valleys, the true McFly family tree, alternate histories and a whole lot of gubbins!
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This week we dig to new depths when we burrow into the novelization of ugly-as-all-get-out animated feature Antz! Doing it for the colony is guest host Paris, as we confront a muddy, violent, dystopian tiny nightmare where Woody Allen is even more terrifying than before. Dig in! If you dare!
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We're finally back, this time delving into the blood-splattered novelization of mofos-ice skating-up-hill movie Blade! And helping me learn how Snipes earned his stripes is fabled vampirologist Courtney Coulson! We solve all the great mysteries like, was Marv Wolfman really a wolf-man? And so much more!
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This week we're buggin and going postal when we read the Betty and Baldwin filled novelization of Clueless! Reminiscing about 20 years ago is guest host Sabrina as we go jeepin' and get brutally loqued. Or something. I'm Audi!
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This week we trudge through the swampy mess that is the turd-polishing novelization of low-budget muck-man sequel Return of Swamp Thing! Bringing the comic knowledge is guest host Hector Weenis as we learn all about potatoes, cucumber intimacy, stilted speech, and two Little Stinkers. Swamp Thing you make my heart sing!
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This week we read the large, unwieldy, audaciously padded novelization of Tim Burton's martians attack movie, Mars Attacks! Fending off the invaders is guest host Emily, as we try to wrap our heads around the unnecessary backstories of the ridiculously massive cast, while anxiously wondering... will Mars actually attack? OR ARE WE TO BE MADE FOOLS? Don't be foolish - find out now!
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This week we endure a decade spanning grudge match when we read the novelization of the 100% charisma free Universal Solider! Luckily, bringing the charisma is guest host Paris, as we get to the bottom of the Unisol program, Pepsi, and Jean Claude's bottom. Listen and learn!
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This week we upload onto the grid when we read the audaciously truncated novelization of Tron Legacy! Fighting for the user is special guest host Courtney Coulson as we decipher all the complicated bits and bites. 011001100111010101100011011010110010000001111001011001010110000101101000!
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This week we take a daring journey into the human mind when we read the junior novelization of Pixar's brilliant Inside Out! Joining me for all the feels is guest host Sabrina, as we share our joy, sadness, anger, fear, and filthy hawt disgust! Keep pressing that joy button!
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This week we travel back to 1981 to read the turgid novelization of MGM's classic Clash of the Titans! And in the spirit of things guest host Hector Weenis and I clash like two titans of obscure, niche podcasting! Learn all about mythology, nipples, and salty whiskers! ZEUS COMMANDS IT!
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