Reading Harry Potter with a Four-and-a-Half Year-Old: Recent Episodes
Doug Woodhouse
It's like an audiobook if audiobooks included commentary from a four-and-a-half year-old self-proclaimed "Harry Potter expert." Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/reading-harry-potter0/support
After a few years off we return to Harry Potter. We start off with a bit of catch-up to jog our memories on what happened in the last book, and then we learn that one of us has a lot of faith in the Ministry of Magic. This book (mild spoiler alert) is going to rock him to the core, I can already tell.
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And that's a wrap on Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief!
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I have a feeling this kid's ability to rattle off lines of prophecy from memory after hearing them only once is going to come in handy in some of the future books we read together...
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In which we devise better battle strategies than the God of War and a demigod.
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Have you ever been right in the thick of an exciting chapter only to have a stranger knock on your door to let you know your backyard chickens have escaped and are roaming the neighborhood? Well, now we have!
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We read this chapter on Christmas Day, so one of us was still riding that Christmas high!
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What would you do if you had infinity dollars? Well, you could buy something that cost $350, for starters...
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Wait, are you telling me you don't know the difference between an antelope and a Thompson's gazelle? scandalized
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I always like the stories where brains defeat brawn.
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When you end up reading four chapters in one sitting at bedtime, you get a little loopy by the time you get to that last chapter.
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If you don't know what they look like, go ahead and do an image search for echidnas now. It'll save you having to do it later!
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We ended up reading four chapters (!) this bedtime. This is the second.
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Do you know who Auntie M. is? Because we have some guesses! Actually, we just have one guess, but we guess it often.
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A lot of exciting action in this one, and I'm not just talking about the demonstration of musk ox headbutting techniques!
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Some technical difficulties in this one! But don't worry, you won't be able to tell where they... puts finger to earpiece this just in, you WILL be able to tell where the technical difficulties occur. Apologies in advance!
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Do you know how to pronounce Hephaestus? Me neither.
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I'm pretty sure he prefers the illustrated editions so he can get spoilers from the pictures.
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There's a great two-page illustration of all of the Camp Half-Blood cabins, so we have to stop and examine it regularly as we read.
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This chapter includes a map of the camp, which we spent a good chunk of time looking at and discussing. So, sorry in advance to those of you who don't have a big map of the camp to look at.
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This is the last chapter we had to re-read: after this we're back into those first-time-around reactions!
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Listenin' and Legos, Legos and listenin'.
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We read the whole book over about two weeks in December, but when I went back to check the recordings I found that chapters 2, 3, and 4 did not record for some reason. So these next three chapters are from the second time through reading (in case you notice that he suddenly knows what's going to happen later in the book).
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So we're reading the first book of a new book series, and thought you might be interested in joining us!
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While visiting his grandparents he found Aunt Tori's copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard, so he brought it home so we could read it together (thanks, Tori!).
For those who may not know, Beedle the Bard penned many popular wizarding world fairy tales, much like the Brothers Grimm did for Muggles. One of his stories plays a pivotal role in a later Harry Potter book.
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As a quick aside, if I ever had a podcast that wasn't this it would probably be called "A Quick Aside."
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Bringing it on home.
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We recorded this way back in February, just as schools were starting to close due to coronavirus and the idea of kindergarten-via-Zoom was still new and novel. What lives we've lived since then.
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Have you ever wanted to spend 15 minutes talking through the events of a momentous Harry Potter chapter with a kindergartner while they lie in bed after reading said chapter? Well, now you can live the dream vicariously through us!
(Note: we read this chapter four months ago, before the coronavirus self-quarantining began, which is why my wife is out of the house at bedtime, helping friends who have a newborn. Listening to that detail now, months into social distancing, was jarring for me! Hey, remember when you could just go to a friend's house and hold their newborn baby all night so they could get some sleep, and it was no big deal?)
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Okay, sure, Voldemort is back to full power and he and Harry just had a mind-blowing duel, but let's not lose sight of the important issues: does Harry technically still win the Tri-Wizard Cup? And will it give Gryffindor enough House points to win the House Cup for the fourth year in a row?
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In which we have SO MANY THEORIES about what the heck is happening here.
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Short, but thrilling!
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This chapter is so much fun.
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“Never make fun of someone if they mispronounce a word. It means they learned it by reading” - Anonymous
We had a sieve in our kitchen when I was growing up, but we called it a strainer. I only knew the word from reading, and in my head it rhymed with "receive." I'm afraid I've taken the first steps toward passing that mispronunciation on to my children.
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Having is a kid means sometimes having to explain concepts like "blackmail" on the spot, very poorly.
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We ended this one well after bedtime, but we still had a long and great conversation after I stopped recording. I'm sorry you couldn't hear it, but just know the wheels are turning in his head. He's really trying to figure this one out.
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Seriously, this whole mystery of Mr. Crouch being "sick" is extremely suspicious.
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Do you remember how Professor Snape brought Harry to the Hospital Wing after he was almost killed by dementors in the last book? Well, five points to your House if you did! I did not immediately remember that, as you'll hear.
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Our conversation at the end of this chapter does include a minor spoiler, just FYI.
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We have a minor digression midway through the chapter as we try to solve some of the mysteries in the book. Who fired off that Dark Mark at the Quidditch World Cup, anyway?
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In which I sidestep the conversation about the appropriateness of students going to the Yule Ball with teachers. To be honest, the whole concept of finding a date went over his head, but hey, he's only six.
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WANGOBALLWIME?
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In which we shake our fists skyward at the continued presence of Rita Skeeter and debate the likelihood of the second task involving a singing, showering prefect.
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We were so excited to read about the first task we started our discussion during bathtime.
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The recording cuts off before we identify the Harry and the Potters song that mentions the Hungarian Horntail, but don't worry, we do remember that it's The Yule Ball, off their first album.
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Alright, real quick, I want to address the periodic crying baby in the background of many of these chapters: we've been reading mostly at bedtime lately, which is also the baby's bedtime, and once the baby realizes we're getting him ready for bed he protests loudly. Sorry! It's an honest little slice of life from our day, but I know it doesn't make for the most enjoyable listening experience for everyone.
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Sometimes you really have to get into character if you want your Dumbledore voice to be believable.
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In which a song by the band Harry and the Potters spoils one of the big surprises in the book. It won't be the last time, I'm sure.
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Thanks to the holidays and associated travels we took a little over a month off from Harry Potter, so it was great to get back in the saddle.
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Last year we received a note from his preschool teacher indicating that he was tested as having the vocabulary of an eight-year-old, and I 100% credit Harry Potter for that--how many other kindergarteners know what "constant vigilance" means? (Also, this week and last week there were some severe audio issues with the recording. Sorry! Next episode will be back to normal!)
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Thanks to a recording issue sound quality is a little bit off on this one, but the quality content is dead on.
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We're either going to have to start bedtime earlier or stop reading Harry Potter at bedtime, because he goes to bed LATE on the nights he asks for Harry Potter before bed.
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Another late night staying up past bedtime reading Harry Potter. There's a lot of inadvertent misinformation in this one: I incorrectly attribute Ron's middle name (Bilius) to one of Molly's heroic brothers who died in the first Wizarding War against Voldemort, when actually he was named after a different uncle who was a sloppy drunk and died after seeing a Grim. Oops! I also do a horrible job explaining why trains need to have multiple cars. Eh, he'll probably turn out okay regardless.
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What is the plural of Pegasus? Pegasi? Pegasuses? I take a stab at this one as we stay up past bedtime once again.
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We finished up Chapter 8 before diving into Chapter 9. We were reading while waiting for a visit from Nan, who arrives midchapter and sits down to join us as we finish.
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Maaaan it is hard to hold to a firm bedtime when you're reading an exciting quidditch chapter!
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So we've recently listened to a couple of our podcast episodes together--which is a bit of a surreal experience--and his biggest takeaway from those episodes is that the name of the podcast is no longer accurate. So remember: you're listening to Harry Potter with a six-year-old now! We also received a great voice message from a listener named Will! You can leave us a voice message too at https://anchor.fm/reading-harry-potter/message (Will, let us know the name of your podcast and we'll check it out!).
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Some more bedtime reading.
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Bedtime reading with new footie pajamas. Includes several necessary breaks to test the grippy-ness of the footie pajama feet on the bedroom's hardwood floor.
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Little brothers just want to be in the middle of everything you're doing, don't they?
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I think, "Sorry, we can't keep reading. it's waaay past your bedtime already!" is going to be a frequent refrain this book.
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We had to keep reading after reading the first chapter: it was too scary to end on right before bed!
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It's hard to get through the first chapter of a new book when there are so many pictures to look at!
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In which we learn how a common grindylow can can help you clean up the house. After we finish the book we spend about 15 minutes talking about Harry Potter.
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I'm kinda proud of my kid's ability to understand time travel. He's better at it than Marty McFly, that's for sure.
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We're really getting rolling, folks. This book is heating up!
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We blew through bedtime with this chapter.
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This chapter is so good! And you get to listen to it with a mildly fussy baby in the background, interrupting occasionally!
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Reading out loud while also watching a teething baby desperately trying to crawl is... challenging.
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We can't always choose when our kids are going to want to be read to. Personally, I wouldn't have picked the hottest day of the year when it was just me watch him and the baby and all our windows were open while our neighbors were putting on a new roof, but he reeeaaallllllllyyy wanted to read Harry Potter. So sorry in advance for all the hammering, baby cries, and outdoor noises. Spoiler warning: the baby tries to get into a crawling position about three minutes in and falls over. He was totally okay.
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Have you ever heard a word that you didn't know the meaning of but could figure out from context, and then later use that word slightly-incorrectly? Kids do that all the time and it is amazing.
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The Quidditch parts are always favorites.
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Do you believe in the divine art of divination? If so, you're not going to like this one: we trash divination pretty hard. Bonus points if you listen while wearing knee pads, elbow pads, and wrist guards!
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We've also been reading the illustrated edition of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which includes a fun little tidbit about how bowtruckles will try to gouge out the eyes of anyone who disturbs their trees. Except that's not really a "fun" little tidbit when your kid worriedly brings it up all the time...
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Should I be worried that my kid consistently sees nothing wrong with sneaking off to Hogsmeade when there's a deranged killer hunting for you?
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Today we learned that our audience consists of more than just Aunt Tori in France. Other people listen, too!
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He was losing his voice, but that didn't stop him from supplying sound effects!
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Come for the amazing proposal for Harry's post-Hogwarts career, stay for the cute baby hiccups.
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I have no idea how you kill a werewolf in the Potterverse. Silver bullet? Sure, let's say silver bullet.
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Ron and Harry don't deserve Hermione Granger.
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What size invisibility cloak would Hagrid need, anyhow?
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The "What House are you in?" question gets a variety of answers. Most of the time it's Gryffindor, although occassionally he thinks he'd be a Hufflepuff. When he took the Pottermore quiz to be sorted into a House he was quite distraught when he was sorted into Ravenclaw (like his mama and papa). He really wanted to be a Gryffindor, so we assured him that the hat would take his preferences into account.
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Despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise, I was alone in thinking it was a really bad idea to sneak out of Hogwarts and into a magical candy shop when a crazed murderer is on the hunt for you.
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It was "Dress Like Your Favorite Book Character" day at school, so you know what he was wearing today!
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We spend a lot of time talking about the plot and the characters and not as much time reading the actual text. Three pages in half an hour is a pretty poor pace, but the conversation makes up for it.
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We read this chapter in two sittings: the first half early in the morning, before school, and the second half at bedtime later that day.
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Possibly one of my favorite reading sessions, even if Darth Vader joined us for part of it.
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I'm rereading Book 4 to gague how age-appropriate it is, and my old battered Goblet of Fire paperback has become a real object of fascination in our house: he was holding it in his lap for most of this reading session.
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I'm consistently amazed by the details this guy remembers about this story. I also think this was when I first started to realize some of the random sounds he makes while listening are meant to be sound effects for the story. Listen for the creaking, clanking armor as Sir Cadogan runs through Hogwarts!
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Our house lost heat on the coldest day of the year, so we read the first half of the chapter in our freezing cold living room and the second half at our friends' house, who let us stay there while they were out of town. This chapter gave both of us a lot of opportunities to flex and show off our Harry Potter knowledge.
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We're going to look at some pictures from the upcoming illustrated edition of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: you can look too! Visit https://www.pottermore.com/news/first-look-at-jim-kays-illustrated-edition-of-harry-potter-and-the-goblet-of-fire
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When you're reading the illustrated editions it's hard to not flip ahead and look at pictures of hippogriffs. It's been almost a year since we read this book the first time, and I'm always amazed at the little details he remembers about them.
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We've gotten to the point where just the mention of Fred and George's names elicits a laugh. I call that a win!
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I have a cold, but you don't get to stop reading Harry Potter to your kid just because you have a cold!
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I'm such a sucker for the overly long bedtime reading session.
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In which J. K. Rowling's descriptive writing compels me to explain how it is possible for a woman to have a moustache. Parenting: always an adventure!
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We read the first half of this chapter for bedtime on Christmas Eve and the second half for bedtime on Christmas night.
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It's the first day of winter and there's no snow, which is predicibly disappointing.
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This came at the tail end of an epic reading session on the first day of winter, so of course we need to take a short little digression to talk about hot chocolate.
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We read this one fairly quietly, since mama and the new baby had fallen asleep on the couch next to us. He was gripping my arm tightly the entire time: basilisks are no laughing matter when you're five.
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First half recorded during a particularly silly bedtime, second half recorded during a subdued early evening reading session with the entire family. Apologies in advance for the occassional gurgles, coos, and cries from our newest family member.
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A little Harry Potter over breakfast.
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A few pages at bedtime with the entire family, new baby and cat included.
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We read this chapter over two reading sessions, one before and one after a major event for our family. The second session was at bedtime, where I learned that talking about basilisks at bedtime might not be the smartest thing to do going forward.
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While unpacking our books we came across our old Scholastic Harry Potter paperbacks, and we embarked on an experiment to see if two books that looked very different could tell the same story. We started off reading the Scholastic paperback but quickly switched back over to the Illustrated Harry Potter since this chapter has some of the best illustrations.
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We spend a little time before bed reading and looking at the pictures in the book. I realize looking at pictures doesn't really translate when you're listening to a podcast, but just imagine you're looking at some very beautiful and compelling illustrations and it'll be like you're right there with us.
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The first half of this episode was recorded very early in the morning. If you're picturing a disheveled dad in slippers and robe reading a book while waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, then, well, yeah, you've nailed it.
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If you ever wondered what it sounded like to read Harry Potter while the rest of the family unpacks around you after a big move, well, this is pretty much what it sounds like.
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Fact: J. K. Rowling did not actually record Hermione's reaction when she learned Herbology was canceled, but we know exactly what she said.
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So it turns out we've taken a long, unplanned hiatus from reading Harry Potter together. Our family just moved to a new house this past weekend, so packing and moving had taken over our lives for the last month. My son is also going through a very Oedipal phase right now, and really only wants to spend his free time with my wife (with me nowhere in sight, preferably). This is partly just the appropriate developmental phase for a boy his age, but also partly due to the fact that my wife is due with our second baby any day now and he knows his days of having her all to himself are numbered. But the other day, after getting himself dressed for school, he came to me with something hidden behind his back and said, "Papa, I know what we can do!" and pulled Chamber of Secrets out from behind his back. We hadn't unpacked all of his books yet, so he must have found it while rummaging through the boxes in his room. This might become our new before-school routine (and if it does, apologies in advance for my croaky early morning voice and my pre-coffee lack of sharpness), at least until the baby is born. Then we'll have to develop some new routines: Harry Potter might become his refuge from the crying baby.
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Apologies, as always, for my Dobby voice.
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I won't lie: it's a little disconcerting to learn that your five-year-old is a Parselmouth.
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Have you ever not slept well because your four-and-a-half-year-old woke up at some ungodly hour, and then later that day tried to read a chapter about Professor Binns and his dreadfully boring History of Magic class? It's HARD. Also, can we talk about Professor Binns? I'm sure there's some eager young witch or wizard who feels a real passion for magical history and would LOVE to teach it at Hogwarts, to really bring the subject alive for the students, but they can't because the position is filled by a GUY WHO DIED. Usually when a faculty member dies that's a chance to get some new young blood on your teaching staff, but not only is Binns blocking the hire of a new professor, he's also awful at his job. History, in the right hands, is exciting and dynamic! As a guy who strongly considered majoring in history, I've always been mad at Dumbledore for not firing Binns and hiring a living, competent teacher.
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A trip to the playground was cut short thanks to a nasty spill on the sidewalk and a badly scraped knee. We decided to come inside and read some Harry Potter while he rested with his knee propped up on a pillow (scraped knees are a real production in our house). Featuring Mama as a special guest reader for two columns of text.
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We read this section while eating lunch (which included some "spinach littles" in the shape of stars, people, and dinosaurs), which isn't something we normally do.
This was a few days after my birthday, which we talk about a bit at the beginning. I came home from work to find that he and my wife had thrown me a surprise Harry Potter birthday party, which included a family wand making activity. You can see some pictures from my party at "Ollivander's Wand Shop" at facebook.com/ReadingHarryPotter
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Burping slugs is HILARIOUS.
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Did you know it's possible to chew gum and eat a strawberry at the same time? Today I learned it is.
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It was already incredible late when we started this chapter at bedtime. I was thinking, "oh, two more pages will be okay," but I was feeling a little indulgent so we read the whole thing.
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We picked up the chapter again at bedtime, and when we finish it we discuss reading a little bit of the next chapter. Spoiler alert: we end up reading all of the next chapter.
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Have you patronized your local boogermonger lately?
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Sometimes when I want to read Harry Potter I just find a comfortable spot and start reading out loud. I never make it past the first sentence before I have a kid snuggled up next to me.
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The Weasley's flying car is a fairly regular subject of discussion in our house, so it's always fun to revisit it.
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My Dobby voice got huge belly laughs the first time we read this book. This second time it got huge smiles, which you obviously can't see. I never heard what my Dobby voice sounded like until I listened to this recording and, well... I'd like to apologize to everyone who has to listen to my Dobby voice.
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Welcome to The Chamber of Secrets! We had to skip the last chapter of Sorcerer's Stone because it was deemed too scary, so if you're wondering what happened to Harry as he entered the final room protecting the Stone, well, sorry, we constantly spoiled that big reveal through the entire reading of Sorcerer's Stone (it was Quirrel all along!). Don't worry, Griffindor wins the House Cup!
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We begin with a brief detour back to the troll illustrations in Chapter 10 (which includes a wonderful two-page spread about trolls from Newt Scamander's Fantastic Beasts) and end by playing Harry Potter, which almost always means I'm Ron and I'm trying to keep Crookshanks from eating Scabbers. I honestly have no idea if we're actually going to be able to read the next chapter. We might seriously skip it.
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It's been a while since we've read Harry Potter: partly because we've been on vacation and partly because I think he might be a little nervous to reread the Voldemort chapter again. But then we found out Harry and the Potters would be playing near us, so I decided to take him. He was a little overwhelmed by the volume of the show while we were there, but he wouldn't stop talking about it on the way home. And so I pulled out our little audio recorder, we had a long discussion about the show, and then read the next chapter and half. And then... I realized our recorder's battery had died mid-chapter and we had lost everything. I was devastated. Like, I think I freaked him out a bit by how upset I was. He was ready to move on, but he was willing to sit and talk about the show a little more with me. Our Felix Felicis had run out, though, and we couldn't quite capture lightning in a bottle twice. We'll read more soon: I think the show helped get him energized about Harry Potter again.
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We read this half of the chapter the day before his preschool graduation, and his feelings on it seem to have changed dramatically.
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We read this chapter a few days before his pre-school graduation, which I learned he has a LOT of feelings about. Transitions are hard, man.
This is also the episode where we reveal our Potter Puppet Pals fandom. (Note to parents: screen Potter Puppet Pals before watching them with your young kids unless you're cool with them running around the playground shouting "Hagrid's butt crack" and other such wizard swears. Trust me, you don't want that.)
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Recorded this one on Father's Day. Sitting and reading together was really all I wanted.
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It's hard to read a chapter in a book when someone keeps pulling out their "wand" (i.e. a stick they found on a walk a month ago that they use as a wand ALL. THE. TIME.) to do the Leg Locking Curse on you, but somehow we manage.
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A short one.
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Pro-tip: when you ask to read Harry Potter at bedtime you end up going to bed waaay later than you usually do.
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If you don't know what a limp looks like you won't learn from this episode because you obviously can't see the limping demonstration, but if you're curious what a limping demonstration sounds like, well, you're in luck!
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Probably our favorite chapter, since we can show off our knowledge of both Quidditch and troll anatomy. A debate ensues about whether trolls are "pea brains" or "pee brains."
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Have you ever heard the sounds of a kid tickling himself? Well, if not, today's your lucky day.
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I was surprised he let me read this to him: a babysitter had read it to him the night before and he usually resists re-reading chapters.
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It's early on a Sunday morning and Mama is still asleep, so we need to find a quiet activity to keep Crookshanks from making too much noise. Reading Harry Potter fit the bill.
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Finishing up the chapter at bedtime. He's learned that if he wants to stay up later than usual he just needs to request Harry Potter as his bedtime story: we'll keep reading long after "lights out" has passed if the story is good, and the story is always good.
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Mama was making brownies in the next room, so you can occasionally hear the clatter of pans as we read. We had to stop abruptly, but we picked the story up at bedtime.
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Darth Vader finishes reading the chapter at bedtime. Fortunately, he has a button on the front of his suit (his uniform? his costume? what do you call Darth Vader's outfit?) that changes his voice from his James Earl Jones voice into Papa's voice. Perfect for reading. And lucky thing, too: we might have had to listen to a whole episode read in a really bad Darth Vader voice.
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The first time we read this book he wanted to read it constantly. Since this is a second reading he's never super enthusiastic about sitting down to read Harry Potter, but once we get going he doesn't want to stop. We stopped a few pages short of the end of the chapter, but only because it was getting late and we had to run out to get some ingredients for dinner (we finished the chapter at bedtime).
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The further adventures of Crookshanks the cat. Includes a very astute question about why someone would choose to be evil, which I did my best to answer in an age-appropriate way (the ability to pose interesting and astute questions is a very common characteristic of four-year-olds... and cats too, I suppose).
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Includes a special guest appearance by Crookshanks the cat.
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We read all of chapter two and this bit of chapter three in one sitting. We probably would have finished this chapter, too, but I realized we were about to be late for a birthday party so we had to stop. Having a kid in pre-school means your weekends are wall-to-wall birthday parties, all day, every day, until you die.
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We read this one in one sitting, although he accidentally hit the button that stopped recording while jumping around shouting ”MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!" and laughing like a maniac. He shouted that intermittently throughout the rest of the day and just cracked himself up with it.
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We read the end of the chapter together after a very busy day, so he was more subdued than usual, mostly just laying his head on my shoulder and listening. He still provided a few expert insights, of course.
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It's like an audiobook if audiobooks included commentary by a four-year-old self-proclaimed "Harry Potter expert."
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