My Messy Lessons: Recent Episodes

Phoebe McLean

Want to follow along as I learn lessons throughout my life? To know and understand that we are all messy, that it's just part of our humanity?In My Messy Lessons, I share the struggles and lessons of my life in a real way. Listen along and grow with me!

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I wanted to give my My Messy Lessons listeners a chance to listen to my NEW podcast, "Sexuality After...". In this podcast I talk to people about their experiences of sex and sexuality after religion, trauma, parenthood and loss. I'm aiming for it to be very real and raw and so I hope you enjoy it as much as this one!

If you want to connect with me on other platforms, you can sign up for my email list here or through my website, www.phoebed.com, watch my YouTube videos at Tea with Phoebe D., or, of course, subscribe to my new podcast, Sexuality After, wherever you get your podcasts!

Thank you so much for joining me on my My Messy Lessons journey and I hope to see you other places! :) 

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Not only do we have shadow parts... but we have wisdom, love, genius and courage. What are your strongest inner allies? Your strongest inner strengths? In this episode I share mine- and how different their voices are from my shadow parts. It's so important that one voice is not indicative of our wholeness. Like Jung says, we are a community within ourselves. I share my 3 of my strongest inner resources to encourage you to find your own. You are always with you, so any resources you find are always there for you. Always.

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Fear, guilt, loneliness, sadness, anger... our shadows are real and they affect our daily lives. How do you interact with these parts of yourself? Have you ever thought about it? What if you actually listened to them? What if they were trying to protect you? In this episode I share my 3 most shadowy parts... just so you feel better about yours ;) 

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So many of us struggle with the feeling that we are never enough. It's exhausting. In this episode, I share what I have learned in my studies about this, and the questions that have helped me to see myself differently.

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We are limited human beings- our time, energy and money are limited. Do you own and love what you've chosen to spend them on? Do I? hehe. Listen and find out! 

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Why do we feel so stuck sometimes? Stuck in a situation or in our own story? In this podcast I share 4 powerful questions I have learned that have helped me get unstuck.... and moving towards what I wanted. WARNING: If you like to have problems, this podcast is not for you! If you like to move forward, then go ahead and hit PLAY!

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Today's podcast is different. I would like to offer you a meditation/practice to do that will help you to find your own inner resources. It's easy to be in fear and forget that we also have the ability to be a badass, and strong, and resourceful, and courageous. Now is the time to remember that!

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As strange as it seems, sometimes trying to believe "positive" beliefs all the time leaves me feeling entitled to easy, ashamed and broken. What happens when I embrace more realistic beliefs?

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Are you happy with your priorities? With your choices? Do you experience flow? freedom?

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4/4 of the Matriarchal Interviews: Fiona

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3/4 of the Matriarchal Interviews: Arlin

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The Matriarchal Interviews #2: June

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1/4 of the Matriarchal Interviews

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Choose to say a HELL YES to what you really want.

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Our inner victims and perpetrators need our love and compassion....? Really?

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How would your life be different if you welcomed EVERY thought and feeling you have?

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Authenticity vs Safety is a common struggle we all face.

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Trusting your gut is vital- in this episode we talk about how to do that.

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Lessons I have learned recently about our human sexuality.

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What the scariest experience of my life taught me.

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3 smaller lessons on belief, advice and focus.

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Lessons 6-10 from a year of studying Self-Compassion

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What I learned from a year of studying self-compassion.

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In this episode I share two main lessons that were cemented in on our wedding day last month.

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More than anything else, what teaches us not to judge others is when we are judged ourselves.

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Are other people's reactions our responsibility? What ARE we responsible for exactly?

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We all see life through the lenses of our own knowledge and experience- but that doesn't mean we can't connect.

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Faith over fear is a key lesson that provides a base for living a WHOLE life.

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It's usually the hardest experiences that teach us the best lessons.

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Do you contradict yourself? We all do- often. How do you feel about that?

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I share other people's wisdom in this episode- the 5 best pieces of parenting advice I've gotten so far.

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Marj shares the most important lesson she's learned: to not care what people think.

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In this episode I elaborate on my discussion on authentic sexuality, give you an update on my experience with forgiving my parents, and explain how I don't always get back on the wagon.

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Sometimes it's OK to take a break from learning, growing, giving, and pushing yourself and JUST BE.

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The wagon is where it's at... even if you fall off a lot!

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An authentic spirituality and sexuality take a lot of effort to get to.... but worth every moment.

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Celebrate the little things, the big things- and most importantly, celebrate yourself!

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Never make important decisions or have important conversations when you're tired, hungry or emotional!

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Feeling overwhelmed is an easy place to get stuck... until you do this....

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When we forgive our parents, we claim the power to change our lives and become who we want to be.

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4 engagements have not only been an awkward conversation for dinner parties, but also have taught me a lot.

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Is worrying about someone the best way we can show them love?

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Does power come from your individuality or from recognizing that we are all the same?

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Understanding trust can be tricky... unless you know about The Jar of Marbles!

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You are always with you.... so now what?

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I am always with me. If we truly understand this, it will shift our life.

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Rebecca shares an insightful lesson on being in the middle.

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Do you feel like you aren't enough? What if you are... and always have been?

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Resistance has kept me from doing a lot of things. In this episode I share a trick to getting through it!

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How do you react when you hear about horrible things happening around the world?

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How do you decide what's "right" and what's "wrong" for yourself and others?

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April explains how she has learned that it's important to quit sometimes.

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A re-release of my interview with Roxane in anticipation of this Friday's interview!

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Invalidation is a common thing to experience. We need to know how to validate ourselves.

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A further exploration of what consent means

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Are we more conditioned to people please than we are to give or deny consent?

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If you start somewhere by doing something small, you get the ball rolling!

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My resentment is my responsibility.

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How do you know if you're being a "good" woman or man?

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None of us are perfect- we all do things we aren't proud of.

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Do we agree to things without asking if we REALLY think they are true?

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Are you meeting your needs in healthy or unhealthy ways?

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Growth is proportionate to how uncomfortable you can stand to be.

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Do you people please in your life? How does that make you feel?

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Real-life examples of boundaries

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Boundaries are necessary for a fulfilled life!

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With consistent effort over time, we can improve at anything.

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Have the hard conversations.

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What stories are you telling yourself?

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Share and Listen, remembering that YOU know YOU best.

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My attitude, my choice!

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What to do when you feel stuck