The Great Longboat Podcast: Recent Episodes
Igor Keller
Insight into the terrific and prolific band, Longboat, through the eyes of its sole permanent member and leader-for-life. All hail!
Here's a single from the latest release, The WOW and the POW! vol. 2. It's out this week at all finer online retailers. OK, so these tacos aren't real. I'm sorry but they're not. If they did exist, they probably would taste really good. Especially the one that exists between dimensions. Who knows, maybe people in the other dimension like food that tastes like dirt. Also, the list of hot sauces is a mix of real and fabricated. I made a lot of them up so they'd rhyme. So much for truth in art. The reality is that music requires a lot of dishonesty, just like drama. Music doesn't just chip away at some central "truth" in order to enlighten the world. Oh, no, no, rather it assumes a role or character based on the demands of the tune. Just as actors need to be in character to perform a role. Honestly, there is no "truth" to reveal. It's all opinion. At least my stuff is.
You probably wouldn't want to know a guy like Jasper, but for the sake of your career, you would definitely need him as your ally. And then you'd have to put up with a lot of weirdness. Jasper is older, wealthy and connected. He can represent your entry into the art world or he could possibly be a source of unending grief, always promising, never delivering, peppering you with odd questions and constantly speaking about things in a vaguely sexual way. Is he just an odd Warhol-esque guy who can help or is he a full-on creep? Can you trust his advice? What does he want from you? These are all valid questions. Listen to the tune and let me know. To be clear: Jasper isn't based on anybody. He's just a character I created for this song.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very much pro-transit. There's no shame in riding the bus. But I wrote this after my first album was released. My longterm goal has been to build an audience with lots of different kinds of music written about mostly out-of-the-ordinary topics. It still is, but since that time, I've learned to temper my expectations. This song is just the first blush of the disappointment I felt, not so much that I felt like I deserved acclaim, but rather that I failed to connect with an audience. And from that point forward, that's been the story. I like my music and it will have its day. But waiting for that to happen sometimes demands more patience than I have.
Here's a slick Euro disco-flavored tune from the Seven Hills saga. It's about a guy who suddenly remembers that he spent considerable time killing people. And he was very good at it. How did it make him feel? In his own words, "good." Also, Igor celebrates the 80th birthday of super-genius, Bob Dylan. In the whole wide world, there isn't a better songwriter. Plus, a few words about the new album, which is done. And it's good. It will be released in August 2021. That's something to live for! I know I am.
In the midst of recording a brand-new album, Igor takes a few minutes to address a slight recurring problem. His solution: write a song about it. This is the song.
America touted itself as a land where people worked with people to surmount their differences and arrive at a consensus. It also used to boast that neighbor helped neighbor when the need arose. I actually believed these things until about five years ago. I believed that this nation was stronger when we were united in the noble purpose of making this country better. Yeah, how naive I was. The truth is that there are a lot of crappy people in this country who are quick to bemoan their fate and complain about things that are being "taken away" from them, including the very concept of America. Their complaints seem unhinged and not anchored in reality, and the people themselves come off as being, well, mean. Or ill-informed or both. I wrote this song just to say that it's a sad thing to see so many of my fellow citizens turn to meanness as a way of dealing with reality. I wish for things to be better, but you need cooperation from those on the other side. My own experience is that nothing will stop angry people from expressing anger. Not the potential for public shaming, not the law, nothing. People will be angry and mean because they feel it's the only way to express themselves. And that's sad.
Like change, serenity comes form within. Sure, technology adds a certain amount of turmoil to our lives, but eliminating it completely will not give us any lasting peace. This is the final song from 2017's 27-track concept album, E(Minus). It urges everyone to smash all technology in order to achieve simplicity and serenity. Personally, I think that such bold action will just make a big mess. It won't help us to relate to each other and, if anything, it will make it harder to communicate our views. So no, I don't advocate the wholesale destruction of technology. But this song, with its samba-esque, soccer-anthem vibe may just entice you to punch your phone.
Drama, drama, drama! Fresh off his prize-winning Oscar picks, Igor discusses the life and work of Richard Harris, one of his favorite actors. No matter what Harris was in, you could always count on histrionics. Yeah, he did a lot of shouting and arm-waving. Even when his material was not great (which was often), he was reliably manic. This song is a bittersweet tribute to the man who could almost be considered an acting great, thanks to some wonderful late-career roles. So yes, he was a boozy, flawed individual, but he could deliver a performance.
This week, it's Oscar week, so Igor makes his picks for the top awards. Although sound editing is a worthy category, he has no clear favorites. And then it's on to the tune! It's basically about some guy getting tanked and going online to see what shape his high school girlfriends are in. As it turns out, they're kinda not very hawt. And neither is he. I guess if we stick around long enough, we all lose our hawtness. But the tune itself is pretty driving and cool. And Igor plays the drums on it!
I'm all about making larger statements. Lots of times, what I'm trying to say takes more than one song. Sometimes, that takes the form of a concept album and other times, it becomes a song cycle. This tune was the beginning of a song cycle that was supposed to be about a rather not-nice fellow's journey through the afterlife. I'm not adding to it at the moment, partially because I don't quite know where to take it, plus nobody seems interested in it anyway. The same goes for the Seven Hills saga. Believe me, I'd love to continue it, but there doesn't seem to be much point. One song cycle that will be finished is the "Miss (Day of the Week)" cycle. I've written six tunes so far. Only Miss Tuesday remains. Unlike the other cycles, there's no central narrative here. I guess that's why it's close to completion. It's just a series of character sketches that don't necessarily have to make any cooperative sense. Anyhow, let me say that the afterlife cycle might be continued. I just have to formulate some theories about how it's going to end, so I can flesh in the action. If it is to be finished (and that's a big IF), I'd like it to be 12 songs in all. That's a nice album-length song cycle. Seven Hills is already a monstrosity and the "Miss" series is just going to be seven - not really album length at all. I'd like at least one to fit into an album. If that doesn't work, I might just start another one that will fit that bill. Any ideas on what it should be about?
Here's a tune about something I used to do. I was a jazz musician. I played until it became impractical. And it wasn't because of COVID. The jazz scene here petered out years before. One week, we were playing gigs; the next, there were no gigs. I've moved on, but I do miss those days. Much of this song is about begging for gigs and my frustration with pleading my case. It was heartbreaking, but inevitable. Jazz is an art form, meaning that it has ceased to evolve, except around the fringes. It's no longer the vital, exuberant, wonderful music that I tried to make. God knows what it'll be once everything reopens. I guessing that it might be even less satisfying: more pointless virtuosity, more repetitious, less human. We'll see.
Igor delves into this year's Oscar picks and spends a lot of time praising the animation category and not praising this year's most nominated movie. He also has many good things to say about Sacha Baron Cohen. In a segue that is completely connected to the previous subject, he talks about why he doesn't write songs about mediocrity anymore. Although he makes cogent points on numerous topics, it's the segue that will really impress you.
Sometimes it's nice to write a bombastic, driving, minor-key number just for fun. This is that number. It has nothing to do with Johannes Brahms (who remains one of my favorite composers), but does it need to?
This is the first single from Album 21. There's also a video for it, but that is a tale for another time. The tune has to do with artistic regeneration amid a hostile world, but doesn't delve into all that "Life is...(whatever you say it is)" kind of metaphoric quicksand. All I'm saying is the things are not easy or certain, and at the end of this time, you should have learned something, either about yourself or about your craft. If you haven't what was the point of wandering around in the first place?
Is there a default music that plays in your brain? For me, this is it. Ever since a very young age, I've had a very stompin' blues tune playing in the background. The subject matter is nothing earth-shattering; it's just a tune about somebody who is very hungry and likes to eat weird things. When was the last time you had sautéed concrete? Anyhow, some tracks are meant to be pure fun and this is one of them.
How did Longboat come to be? Oh, it's very simple. WARNING: Details have been omitted and some composite characters have been used in our recreation!
But it's mostly true.
Here's a sweeping, mini-epic about an ill-fated treasure hunting expedition. For a very long time, this song was on the verge of being cut from the album, but made a strong finish. It wasn't particularly tough to sing; I mean, it's mostly B-flats over and over. It was more a matter of fitting the correct words in at the right time. The result turned out to be a mostly good setting. Out of all tunes on this album, these lyrics were probably the most revised. And with each revision came just a bit more clarity. It turns out that keeping this track on the roster was a good idea. So what was the second-most revised tune? That would be "Phantom Sub," featured many episodes ago on this very podcast.
Johann Strauss II was the first world famous person; he was known for his music around the world during his lifetime. Since then, the quality and the substance of fame has devolved considerably. This tune takes a brief look at an internet "fail artist." Once you're famous for hurting yourself, the only logical end is either permanent injury or death. I would recommend against. If you lack artistry or creativity, there's hope. You can always join a boy band. Or a regular band. Fame is easier for some than others.
This is a tune from 2013 that concerns itself with choices. Do you stay with a boring, annoying job or do you strike off in an uncertain direction? You are free to do as you choose, but maybe you’re not cut out for your passion. Maybe you were never meant to do it. And perhaps you’re destined to return to your dull routine. To paraphrase the song itself: freedom isn’t for everyone. Freedom might allow you to make wonderful discoveries about your talents and abilities, but then again, it could make you suddenly and painfully aware of your shortcomings. On some level, freedom is kind of terrifying. Many cannot handle it, so as a consequence, they need someone to order them around. That’s the beginning of an entirely different set of troubles.
This tune is an energetic number about a very fun and trivial topic. This entire album from 2014 was supposed to be a decisive change in direction from everything that came before. It really was, but I felt like more of a departure. What followed was really a test of what I wanted vs. what I could do. It turns out that the two things were one and the same. Although a lot of these songs have sunk into the background in the intervening years, at a certain time, it was the most important thing in my life. And then the next album became the most important thing and the album after that and so on, until now.
No matter what kind of song you write, it's bound to sound like something that's already out there. This tune wholly embraces that notion and takes on the very idea of originality as a quality that will actually be a detriment to your music career. The best advice that anyone can give you is to imitate the currently popular styles of music you hear on the radio. If you're interested in making good music, well, you're on your own. Have fun!
I originally wrote this tune as a final parting shot for the Bush Administration. By 2014, it was pretty obvious that form of Republicanism, one that enthusiastically advocated torture and warfare, would not return. Since there would never be prosecutions for such craven and savage behavior, I thought I'd just write a send-off for that awful era. Little did anyone know what was lurking on the horizon.
Once I'd reconciled myself to the fact that I was going to be making more than just a few albums, I had to figure out what those albums would be. Somewhere along the line, I decided that every seventh album would be packed to the gills with string arrangements. Why every seventh album? I have no idea. It was an arbitrary decision. But this tune and an array of others was on the first string album. My goal was to write a fable or parable about animals. This is, as the title suggests, about the unlikely pairing of a fox and a hen. Let's just say that it doesn't end well for either of them.
Today we attempt to explore a subversive children's song, but we kind of get mired in the events of this last, horrible week. The long and short is that Igor really doesn't like Ted Cruz and really, really doesn't like Donald Trump. Somewhere in there is a song.
This is my tribute to all the small radio stations that played my music. Many are in towns with funny-sounding names. For me, it's always a thrill to know that my stuff is being played somewhere other than on my own sound system. Anyhow, happy 2021! I look forward to a full year of explaining my way of making music. It might not always make sense, but it does allow me to write a lot of songs.
Here's a special presentation from a piece Igor wrote a long time ago. The previous six chorales are quite nice, but this one is the best. Happy New Year to everyone. You'll be hearing from me in 2021. Take care!
Sometimes, the denial of presents isn't nearly enough to get kids to fall in line. That's about all we've got in this country. To send an extra-strong message, we might include a lump of coal. But the Germans add a little sinister muscle to the issue with Ruprecht. He's better known as Santa's enforcer, because Santa's just too nice to involve himself in disciplinary issues. Instead of just shrugging off bad behavior, kids have to answer for it. Sure, it's just pageantry, but it's an interesting step that they take in securing good behavior. Children have to explain themselves and are often punished on the spot. Right there. On Christmas. Oh, no!
Happy Hanukkah! Hey, it's the 50th episode! Did I think it would get this far? Sure, I did! This episode delves into a lot of things, but it's mostly about how you go about writing a country song about Hanukkah. But along the way, I discuss whether honesty is super-necessary in music. Definitive conclusion: it isn't. Plus, there are other things! Enjoy the season, folks.
By now, you probably know whether you give good presents or bad ones. The hapless character of this song goes beyond just giving a series of bad presents. He's completely thoughtless and selfish. In fact, he's really looking forward to this present reverting to him after his girlfriend finds no practical use for it. After all, ninja throwing stars are desired by only a few people. So he gave her a crappy gift intended for himself. But there are consequences. I think that he ultimately learns his lesson. Of course, there was the temptation to have her to use the throwing stars on him, but I just couldn't get the rhymes to work out. Believe me, I tried. So instead you get sibling intervention. And a lesson in gift-giving.
The season is upon us! Don't worry, even though this is a Christmas album, I don't deluge you in sentimental sap or pummel you with nostalgic nonsense. A friend of mine once described this record as the "only realistic Christmas album out there." The Holidays are multi-faceted, but many agree that they're an ordeal, whether it's tolerating crazy relatives or receiving terrible presents from unthinking jerks or any number of unfortunate offshoots of this time. But this tune gives you the freedom to embrace the season however you'd like. You don't even need to celebrate Christmas. But if you want to return to it, you can. It will be right here waiting for you. And you don't even have to be religious. Just make it into your own joyful time.
Should everyone wear a uniform? Or a costume? Do we need to wear easily recognizable markings that show what we prefer in art, music and lifestyle? Well, I once met someone who was attempting to dress like an old-school blues-guy. I was not impressed much. I eventually wrote this tune about him. And I still believe, as the song asserts that he's "not even worth a rhyme. On a deeper level, however, don't we all show ourselves to the outside world as who we want to be? What if we're not that? Should that cause us any concern? Or is life just based on costumes? Or uniforms? I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I only know how I face the world. I can only point out cases where the costume does not advance the wearer's cause. That's what this tune is about. Plus, aside from the chromatic intro, it's a very traditional 12-bar blues, a simple form that contains multitudes.
This week, Igor almost doesn't doesn't mention the election. But with additional lockdowns approaching, it's kind of difficult not to say anything about what an awful job the guy who lost the election has done. Igor does try to ease the tension with a nice little song about two people who really shouldn't be in a relationship with each other. Ah yes, it's a tune about a doomed romance of sorts. Now, Igor doesn't write love songs and this is definitely not one of those. But it does chart the course of a temporary union that really wasn't super-great from the beginning. Also, Igor wants to stress that this is not autobiographical. It tells a fictitious, not-quite-happy story and contains a nice string arrangement.
Here's an uplifting little tune about the randomness and brutality you might encounter in an authoritarian society. Sure, public executions are entertaining and everybody they execute is guilty, but what happens when society demands your life? Could it be that they entire system is wrong? Is this merely a ploy to keep the people in line? Why is it you who has to pay the price? All good questions, but it would be terrible to give them answers at this stage. I might address a few of them during the podcast. I don't know, I say a lot of things. I even comment on that recent election we had. But I get past it. Which is what everyone should do.
Can we be sure about what happens in the afterlife? Well, some people have definite opinions. But what if they're wrong? What if heaven is finite, while hell is not? What happens then? Of course, I'm not sure about anything concerning religion. If you're religious, good for you. At least you don't spend your days in a moral quagmire. Or at least you're not supposed to. Maybe you do and you have to constantly pray for forgiveness. If you're Catholic (as I once was), you have to confess your wickedness. What fun! Anyhow, this tune monkeys with our theories of the afterlife. Plus, there's a talking snake! Whenever a snake talks, you know that bad stuff is going down.
Hey, it's another tune that hasn't been released yet! This time, it's a jaunty little latin track from Basically Blue, vol. 2, due out summer/fall 2021. When I originally wrote this tune, there was no such thing as the Coronavirus. I just wanted to make a tune that was a warning against demagogues and various populist charlatans. But since its creation, it has become rather prescient. So this is the last installment of political tunes here in this election season. I haven't written many, because, unless you write in more general terms, your shelf life is limited - especially if Trump loses the election. I mean, is there a definitive song about Watergate? No. At least none that anyone remembers. So yeah, this track is definitely about Trump and definitely about my belief that he's trying to kill as many people as he can through his sheer stubborn incompetence. So I've turned it into metaphor and made it into a tune. I don't think many people do that anymore. Maybe I haven't been listening to the right stations.
Here's a tune from an album that hasn't even been released yet, sweet people! Why? Because we're continuing on with songs I accidentally wrote about politics. This is a track about two presidents. One did do positive things for the country and was reelected in a landslide, only to be undone by his own paranoia; the other is Trump. I can't think of anything nice to say about him. I also can't say anything nice about Republicans, libertarians, Loren Culp and tooth decay. I talk about most of those things during this episode. I also pine for a time when I can go back and talk about music and how it's made. But for this week and next, it's all about politics.
Politics are happening now in the US, if you haven't noticed. Things are getting people all riled up. What we thought would be impossible shocks to our democracy have occurred. And we have been reacting to them for the last four years. It's been exhausting, but if we don't react, we sink in a mire of indifference and that packs some dire consequences itself. This tune is about as generic as possible in its portrayal of the partisan divide. The point-of-view could be from the left or right. While I'm firmly against the current administration, it could easily be the views of someone reacting to the machinations of the left.
Along with millions of others, I'm hoping that we can put this dark, chaotic era behind us and get back to boring government and a stable ship of state. And above all else, I'd like it to be peaceful and not impeded by our deranged president trying to prolong his term with unfounded conspiracy theories and outright lies that even his base would find tough to believe. Anyhow, in a few weeks, we'll either have a change or more of the same. Choose wisely, America.
Authoritarians often start out as populists, but just the people alone can't keep them in power. No, they need enablers. They need people within the government to normalize what is abnormal. This is a tune about one guy within a nameless regime who rationalizes his support for a brutal military dictator. His reason? Money. It's always something other than patriotic fervor. Other times it's access to power and influence. Some even stick around as self-imposed guardians of the last shreds of decency and humanity within the regime. The song's narrator cycles through these three motivators, though he's mainly drawn to the money. Years from now, when the definitive work on the current American presidency is written, they will find that money was the primary factor for most of the worst people working in the administration. I've always found that when people lack imagination, they dream of money. It seems to soothe them. Never mind that they'll have to make a series of devil's bargains along the way. The ends justify everything. Meanwhile, the country groans under horrible leadership that they support and awful policies they author. But hey, they're gonna be rich someday! Worth it.
Psssst! There's gonna be an election! Hey, so why not feature one of my few tunes about politics? This one was recorded back in 2012 and it's about what became the increasingly bad faith depiction of the ACA by its conservative opponents. That led to a lot of spurious conspiracies about Obama himself which also featured the same bad faith arguments, where facts were denied wholesale by those in the opposition. I originally wrote it as a memorial to a dark time in our history, never dreaming that things would get worse. Well, here we are. When we reach the point where one side or the other (it's actually just one side) refute even basic facts as a means of advancing their very dubious agenda, we're in trouble. If your only means of leading is to own liberals, you're not going to lead for very long. True, all politicians spin; some even lie. But no one can just deny facts. That approach erodes trust and legitimacy. Some people love that. But overall, it degrades society when one side refuses to agree on what is the truth.
A positive song for uncertain times. That's all I'm gonna say. I usually don't write a ton of positive tunes, but this one is about as honest as you're gonna get about a life in music. Enjoy!
It's Igor's birthday! All hail! But the podcast forges ahead. This week, I've gotten a request from a DJ who likes to spin Longboat tracks to his intelligent and good-looking audience. He wanted me to feature "By Degrees," which is about the perdition of the soul. How can you tell if you've reached damnation? Well, it isn't easy. First you have to understand the nature of evil and how it advances. It doesn't suddenly knock on your door and move into your house. No, it's more of a gradual process, and its description is best accompanied by piano, vibraphone, chilly-sounding strings and accordion. Yes, accordion. A very nice lady played it in the band that day. You can even hear the keys clacking in the background. That's how you know it's a real instrument. And it doesn't get more real than an accordion, folks. I also talk about my fondness for Central/Eastern European cafe music from bygone times. In all, it covers some new and different territory.
Politics is in the air! Igor talks a lot about conspiracy theories and why he doesn't believe in them, although he initially wanted to. This tune is about weirdos making stuff up, selling it as political fact and then firing up their followers past the point of violence. Sound familiar? Yeah, so that's our reality, even though I thought it was quite unrealistic when it was written in late 2019. There's also some discussion about the QAnon silliness, a ludicrous pro-Trump conspiracy theory. What fun times we live in! Anyhow, the song isn't bad either. And Igor promises not to talk about politics as much in the future.
On August 30, 2010 - exactly ten years ago - Officer Ian Birk of the SPD shot and killed John T. Williams in downtown Seattle. It's something that has remained controversial ever since. Was it an execution? Was Williams coming at Birk with murder in his eyes? After a few incidents in the 2000s that made the Seattle Police look rather ridiculous, especially the "crazy samurai" debacle, they started to crack down. By the end of the decade, you began hearing about people getting shot all the time, many of them in downtown. A lot seemed to be crazy people acting erratically. That was tolerated until the Williams killing. The entire confrontation lasted seven seconds and at the end of it, Williams had been shot four times. This song incorporates that event and it also appeals to the crazy people across the downtown area that the cops are pretty trigger happy. And it's a calypso, a genre that has really fallen by the wayside since the fifties.
But that's not all! In addition, I give you the scoop on recording my latest album, which is this year's sixth. Spoiler: it's really a joy. And I think the album is going to turn out great.
It's time for a new album! It's called Basically Blue, vol. 1. Each of the ten tunes from this album happen either in another place, another time or another reality. All except for one, that is. This tune is about the London tube line that runs from Upminster to Wimbledon/Richmond. In my non-scientific experience, it's one of the more reliable lines in the entire Underground. Seattle has no subway system. It does have light rail, though. It's duo-directional; you get to the end, turn around and go to the other end. And so it will go until they build more. I always ride the Underground with a certain amount of reverence. I mean the oldest parts are like 150 years old. I would never put my feet on the seats. I would never drink wine and comment on the next stop to my fellow passengers. I'd never do that at all.
One of my major peeves is corporate naming rights. Sure, it happens everywhere, even in small-market towns. I don't really give consent to having Seahawks Stadium called Century Link Field. Sorry, your costly branding doesn't fly with me. I'll just keep calling it Seahawks Stadium until it gets replaced by another corporate naming rights opportunity, aka a new stadium. OK, so that's where I stand on that issue, but what happens if we expand the problem and let tech companies into the space. This is probably what will happen. And of course, it probably won't be completely benign, because no matter how many stadiums or mountains or deserts a tech company sticks its name on, there's always seems like there's something sinister going on beyond our view. That kind of how this tune ends.
I kind of wrote this tune with a video in mind. It's a spoken word setting of the purported last words of famous and infamous people. I think it works well, but judge for yourself. Here's the video: https://youtu.be/mjOPynkuacE
Although the world didn't really care about 2013's Unpopular Songs for Unpopular People, it was a really important album for me. On it, I really challenged myself to approach songwriting from different angles. I gave the whole "writing tunes without chords" approach the college try. And it works! This tune in particular showcases the principle. Sure, there's a dominant tonality, but it's defined by melodic lines only, not by triads. What am I talking about? Is all this talk of technique dry and boring? Well, listen to the damn tune and you'll hear for yourself.
If you were writing a song about resurrecting extinct giants, how would it go? Probably something like this! Igor talks about why tracks like this are way more fun than writing love songs. Plus, a whole wonderful section urging everyone to arrange tunes with no chords and similar obsession that would fall by the wayside, only to be revived in this dark era.
For every event and occasion, there's a Longboat song. Well, not quite. Maybe there's not a tune about celebrating your pet's bar mitzvah or the joy of build your own guillotine. OK, there are a lot of events and occasions not addressed by Longboat songs, but here's one that was forgotten until it was remembered. Imagine a pandemic devastating this country and the world. And imagine how that would happen. In this case, it was the product of someone's brilliant mind; someone who felt that he had been undervalued. So yeah, take that, society. Here's a disease that kills almost everyone. And it's all because Pablo didn't get tenure.
Maybe we're all hacks. Maybe successful artists just haven't been discovered. And denounced for their abject hackery. Or perhaps there are people who are truly bad at creative endeavors yet derive great joy creating such badness. This tune has to do with someone who is seemingly condemned to read terrible erotic fan fiction for all eternity. And he can't stands it no more! If you're in the same position - and there's no reason why you should be - this track will help you shake off that pest. But be careful, your creative efforts might be just as bad. Or worse. Maybe those who are most enthusiastic about their wretched output at least deserve a nod in their favor. Or perhaps they just need a talking-to. If they do, make sure and tell them that there's a difference between their ability as a writer/musician/sculptor/shadow puppeteer/etc. and their quality as a person. That usually helps.
This is a character sketch about a guy, who may or may not be a great actor. In any case, he has one overriding desire: to appear in the buff while acting. Think of him as not being in the best of shape. And maybe he has some unfortunate tattoos in strange places. But hey, his pathology is now yours. What you imagine seeing cannot be unseen. With this guy, you can be sure that tasteful nudity in anything but that. Also, Igor sees Hamilton and likes it for a variety of reasons.
What makes a good cover tune? Does it matter where or when it comes from? How far do you have to push it until it becomes your tune? Maybe I answer those questions, maybe I don't, but I'm really proud of Longboat's version of this song, originally recorded in 1911. And it was Arthur Collins who sang it, not Arthur Pryor. In any case, the Collins does a pretty lousy job keeping up with the band. I didn't have to worry about that, because I slowed it down into a nice seventies groove and de-jittered the vocal line. And what's left is a good tune that isn't by me.
To be honest, I didn't expect to make this many albums. Once you reach a certain output, you have to employ some kind of strategy. I really like to write songs with string arrangements, but having quality string ensembles on a few tunes for each album is expensive. So I came up with the idea of saving all the string arrangements for every seventh album. This is the beginning of that tradition. This song is about colors and nothing more.
In this time of upheaval, I give you...mellowness! This is a tune about dipping into the past only as a reference to a very bright future. Even though it's tough to believe right now, I feel that better times are ahead of us. I also talk about the jazz vs rock divide that I once very much believed in. Ironic ain't it? I failed to mention in my meandering narrative that the backing vocals were provided by Brandon Vance and Ryan Leyva. They did a stellar job, didn't they?
Here's the final track from 2015's epic Kill the Music! Is my band better than yours? I think on this day it was. Plus, you get the bonus track "Say It with Samba" right at the top. I neglected to say that Jay Thomas and Michael van Bebber are on trumpet and Gena Brooks, Tanisha Brooks and Maelu Strange are the vocalists. Sure, to the outsider, it's just a bunch of names. But these musicians were truly fantastic and it was a joy working with them. If I'm lucky, I will again someday.
Slavic legend meets American alt blues in this alluring tune about a not-so-dumb peasant avoiding his doom deep in the forest. Igor's lovely wife guest-sings on the choruses to everyone's delight, especially Igor's. Plus, current events, both horrible and promising. Have at it, folks.
Another selection from Album 14 that maybe casts some light on today's events. Or maybe not. It seems that some among us consider acts of cruelty to project strength. As long as it doesn't affect anyone they know, it's fine. This seems to be a losing strategy. Today, Igor features a song that unfolds over five-plus minutes and tries to detail why people choose cruelty over mercy. Like almost all Album 14 tracks, this has got some great strings on it.
Welcome to the era of the operator! If you've got an idea - any idea - well, this is your chance to shine! Make your pitch and set your price. The more you ask, the more you'll get, no matter how ridiculous your claims. Your clientele isn't necessarily steeped in scientific knowledge or technical practicality, so your payday will probably be immense. And it's all about money. Whatever scam you're peddling will never help another human being do anything. But it will help you. Just call yourself a genius, tout some big ideas and cash in. Who cares if those ideas are always wrong?
The musician's life may seem glamorous to non-musicians, but trying to make a living is often a dubious venture. This song is kind of about that. It's also about people giving you advice that isn't helpful and all the things that are worse than trying to make a living in music. It was very fun to record, because, after all, if you're as unsuccessful as I am, you might as well laugh about it a little.
Programming note: The Great Longboat Podcast will now be posted once a week on Mondays. And not many times a week on whatever days I thought were nice. Next week's tune is Big Ideas from Album 14.
An ominous stranger rides into town. A short time later, he rides out while the town burns. In between, there is a hanging. What happened? There's only one way to find out...
This is a Longboat tune that you will like.
These guys were never remotely friends, but we all fell out with each other for no reason at all. Several years later, I thought I'd write a song about what a bunch of pathetic stoners they were. And I decided to do it in (mostly) 7/4. Fun!
That new software you bought; you like it, right? I bet you had to agree to its terms and conditions. Nobody reads those things. You just click "agree" and live your life. But what if these terms and conditions were oddly extreme? What if they required you to become a medieval peasant and submit to feudalism? Would you do it? Just think about how much you want that chart app/game/photo filter. Who are we kidding? Of course you'll do whatever they ask! Click "agree" and prepare for the Dark Ages!
On the 9th anniversary of Longboat's first day of recording, Igor goes to Ballard, the Seattle district noted for its elderly Scandinavians and assorted Nordic charms. Much of it has changed over the years. So much so that it just seems like any other neighborhood in Seattle now. This change is noted through the fictitious eyes of Gunnar, a ghostly resident of the former Ballard. Igor has taken the Norwegian folksong "Per Spelmann," reworked it for his own dubious purposes and then shouts it back at us with much gusto.
This week's song is about how people keep bigotry and racism alive using technology and how they rationalize their behavior. How does that work? Well, just select a third-tier social media platform and start using code words and special dog whistles. But for God's sake, don't talk or write like you're in the Klan! That way you can build consensus without the messiness of all those hateful words. And if enough people agree with you, you're not a racist! But if you get caught, you can be all Trumpian about and just say, "So what?"
What is social media good for? Maybe it keeps us occupied. Maybe it keeps us from asking important questions. No, that can't be it. We've always avoided asking the important questions. One thing's for sure, it creates many opportunities for really dull people to post nonsense about nothing. That's kind of what this tune is about.
Igor spotlights a cut from 2017's fantastic album, E(Minus). There is some talk about technology but mostly, Igor has something to say about his rock-bottom listener numbers. Spoiler alert: he's not thrilled by them.
Igor plays a tune from the just-release album, The WOW and the POW! vol. 1. In recent years, alternative medicine has risen in popularity. But that doesn't mean that it's been proven to treat or cure anything. This tune is about the most important part of woo medicine: money. Of course, it really helps if you believe in debunked conspiracy theories about 5G, vaccines and everything to do with Western medicine. OK, that's the subject matter. The tune itself is a driving blues number that will do you way more good than a set of pricey essential oils.
Igor focuses on a track from 2014's Unobscure at Last. But first he has something to say about how done he is with indie bands trying to imitate sixties pop. The fact that this track sounds like vintage soul channeled through a white boy's suburban garage only serves to underscore his point. Also, this tune is about being a sociopath. He used to write lots of tunes about being other, sometimes not very pleasant people. He doesn't do that anymore. But it was fun while it lasted.
Who wants grand-sounding string arrangements? Not many, apparently. The music of Longboat is unusual and intriguing. With strings, it gains some additional heft. Here's the story of your typical, ordinary crazy guy trying to warn all of humankind that its doom is approaching. Can we believe him? After all, he's super-intense and also seems fairly nice. Plus, there are strings. It's from Album 14. There are many strings on that.
Where does visual art get its value? Is it through aesthetics, general critical agreement or artificial hype? Is visual art even important to our 21st century lives or is it just a big racket out to make a buck from a load of sub-par material? How is art described, in honest terms or with jargon and buzzwords? This tune is about artspeak, a way to talk about art without really talking about art. If you can rationalize a way to enjoy pop music, you'll probably like this track.
Igor takes us back to a happier, simpler time: 2016. It was a year of three albums: Album 7, D(Plus) and D(Minus). He talks about how you can consider most of humanity terminally dull without being a misanthrope. There is also lots of commentary about drumming. PAH-rum-pah-pum-pum!
Two tunes about the same thing! Igor invites you into the world of Seven Hills. Do song cycles about highly-skilled spies fighting for survival interest you? There's only one way to find out...
From Longboat's 2016 stringfest, Album 7, Igor talks about hapless characters, arranging for strings and loud seagulls. There are tons of Longboat songs with string arrangements in them, so if he didn't tell you precisely how to write an arrangement, maybe he will on a future episode. Anything is possible.
Igor gets a royalty check totally from out of the blue! ASCAP sends him actual money! Wow! This track from 2015's Kill the Music! tells the very true story of his only other ASCAP royalty payment from years ago. Usually, Igor doesn't like to mix truth and music, but this one was too juicy to let slide.
Igor goes over the lead single from the 2015 double album Kill the Music! This gem of a tune is about pitch-correction software, but it's presented as a pop song. The entire album describes life in music in the 21st century. Does crafting good music matter? Do only the lucky succeed? Is there a wrong way to write a song? Kill the Music! addresses all these topics and many, many more over its two discs and 49 tracks.
Up until 2019's The Century Limited I, Longboat had recorded just one and a half cover tunes, total. Somehow, the idea of making an entire cover album comprised of tunes from a hundred years ago eventually became appealing. One problem, the music from the 1910s wasn't super-good. Longboat took on that challenge, rewriting, reengineering and retooling hopelessly obsolete songs into tracks that could possibly belong in the modern era. This is one of the sadder selections.
This episode, it's Phantom Sub, the stirring tale of outlaws beneath the waves. It's really a blues tune that doesn't sound like the blues. That's what the entire album is all about.
Commentary and insight into the music of the band Longboat. Episode 1 is the first song recorded on the band's first album. It's a tune about terrible architecture.