Parenting Paused: Recent Episodes
Leslie Potter
Parenting Paused presses PAUSE on those shame inducing parenting failures. It presses PLAY on your inner wisdom and the ability to be the parent you want to be. Join Leslie Potter, mother and founder of Purejoy Parenting, as she shares her personal experiences as well as works with other moms and dads in real time to show you the step-by-step process to turn your parenting around.
This week let’s dive into one of my favorite topics. I always aimed to create an environment where my daughter could trust herself. But that became challenging when I wanted her to trust my experience, too. Like many of you, I have a lot of life experience, but making it the only truth made it hard for her to have her own experiences. Growing up with a bit of a disturbing childhood made it hard for me to trust my instincts in parenting. I wanted to do things differently and give my daughter what I didn’t get. Yet, following all the advice didn’t always feel right for us. I've learned that trusting myself isn’t about rejecting expert advice but questioning does it work for me and my daughter. I know my daughter better than anyone, and so do you with your children. This week, I encourage you to play with trusting yourself. See what happens when you listen to your instincts and create an environment for your kids to trust themselves.
As summer approaches, I can't help but feel nostalgic for the free, open summers of my childhood in Mississippi. 🌞 Back then, we'd hang out, ride our bikes, and our parents trusted us to be okay. Nowadays, times are different - with cell phones and constant tracking, there's a lot more structure and perhaps less freedom for kids.
This summer, I'm challenging myself (and you!) to relax the structure a bit. Let's find time for unstructured play, for creativity to blossom from boredom, just like it did in those long summer days of our own childhoods. 🍃 Remember, summer is about freedom and relaxation. Let's embrace that energy and give our kids (and ourselves!) a taste of that old-school summer freedom. 💖 #SummerNostalgia #ParentingTips
In this week's episode of Parenting Paused, I found myself reflecting on the different approaches to parenting I've seen and experienced. I noticed a backlash against gentle and conscious parenting, as if kindness to children prevents them from behaving appropriately. I believe these perceptions stem from the ways we were parented ourselves. I chose a different path, one that felt kinder and more respectful of my daughter's individuality.
I believe it's our job to guide our children in understanding the cultural expectations around them, not through shame or punishment, but through empathy and understanding. Let's make kindness our way this week and remember, we love our kiddos and are doing the best we can. #ParentingPaused #ConsciousParenting
This week on Parenting Paused I dive deep into the topic of overprotection. It's a parenting trait that's close to my heart and one I see many struggling with. Of course, you want your children to be safe, but are you shielding them too much? Are you preventing them from experiencing their feelings and thoughts, both good and bad, to avoid discomfort?
I share my journey of learning to sit with my discomfort and supporting my child to navigate their own experiences. Remember, it's not about rescuing them from every situation, but supporting them through it, as they learn that feelings come and go, and they are okay. See you next week on Parenting Paused! #ParentingPaused #OverprotectiveParents #EmbraceDiscomfort
Reflecting on our role as parents, we often express our needs to our children without realizing the pressure we put on them.
This week, try flipping the script: instead of projecting your needs onto them. Ask your kids what they need.
Understanding their needs can shift your relationships with them, reduce stress, and promote their own love and care for themselves. #Parenting #UnderstandingNeeds #HealthyRelationships
On this episode of our Parenting Pause podcast, I share my experiences and wisdom about losing my mojo!
I dig deep into the challenges of parenting, the unrealistic expectations we often have, and the importance of treating ourselves with kindness.
Remember, you are not expected to be a supernatural parent, but a human one who sometimes loses your mojo.
Listen in for insights on maintaining your self-love and care as a parent. #ParentingPausePodcast #SelfCare #ParentingRealities
Join me on my latest episode of Parenting Paused where I dive deep into understanding your children's behavior.
I encourage you to question common advice and seek to understand the root causes of behaviors such as hitting. The goal? To parent from your internal wisdom, not just expert advice. Don't miss out on this insightful episode! #ParentingPaused #UnderstandingBehavior #ParentingWisdom
Discover the ever-changing nature of your children in this week's ParentingPause podcast.
I delve into the challenges of getting 'stuck' in one perspective and how to broaden your vision to embrace all sides of your children's behavior.
Just as spring brings constant change, so do your children. Tune in to explore how to navigate these changes and avoid black and white thinking.
Discover the profound preciousness in every moment of your parenting journey.
Even when reality differs from our expectations or when challenges arise, remember that each experience has a unique, inherent value.
It's not always about getting it 'right' or making things 'better'. Sometimes, it's about sitting in the present, acknowledging the full spectrum of human experience, and opening our hearts to find the beauty in the complex dance of parenting.
This week on Parenting Paused I'm delving deeper into the function of my judgments and how they serve me. What I discovered is that judgments often occur in the blink of an eye.
After observing myself, I noticed that my judgments are like questioners, leading me back to myself. They can cover over the deeper wisdom I carry, especially as a parent.
Instead of creating a whole story around a judgment, I suggest taking it inside, offering it kindness, and asking it a question. Then see if them as a reminder to turn back in and open your curiosity to what's happening in the present moment.
Let's talk about honesty in parenting.
We often strive to teach our children to be honest, but how do we react when their honesty conflicts with our comfort?
This week in the Parenting Paused Podcast I explore how your reactions might inadvertently teach your children to tell white lies to keep you comfortable.
Tune in as we reflect on the importance of truly hearing your children's honest expressions and consider where you might be slipping into little white lies of your own.
Join us for this enlightening discussion! Listen here.
Discover the intricate dynamics of parenting with my latest Parenting Paused podcast episode.
I take you on a deep dive into how your reactions often say more about you than your children. Uncover the truth about how your responses to your children's behavior can be a mirror reflecting your own unresolved issues.
This episode is all about learning to draw a line between what emotions belong to you and what belongs to your children. By doing this, you not only create healthier boundaries but also foster an environment that encourages cooperation rather than conflict.
Join me as I unravel these insights and more, equipping you with the understanding to transform your parenting approach. Don't miss out on this opportunity to learn, grow, and reflect.
Tune in now!
Excited to share our latest episode of 'Parenting Pause' where I dive deep into the topic of moving from worry to wonder.
I don't know about you but when my daughter was young I found myself consumed with worry about her future. Over time what I discovered was that I wasn't worried about her, I was feeling discomfort with where she was in her journey. It was a big aha moment when I discovered that I could shift my mindset to one of "wonder" instead of "worry".
Tune in to discover how you can transform your worries into empowering moments of wonder.
Don't miss out on the upcoming 'Raising A Resilient Child' free summit on March 1st through 4th where I'll be discussing this topic even further. My talk is on the 4th so sign up: http://tinyurl.com/delightparenting
Imagine yourself supporting your children in building their internal house, and just like any house, it's crucial to have a stable foundation. But here's the thing - to support them in building a stable house your internal foundation is equally important.
This week on Parenting Paused I share my personal journey of discovering that my own foundation was shaky, and how that affected my parenting. I learned that instead of focusing solely on supporting my daughter in creating a strong foundation, I needed to turn inward and examine my own cracks. Only when my own foundation was strong could I provide the stability and support she needed.
So, if you find yourself constantly triggered by your children's behavior, it may be a sign that there might be cracks in your own foundation. Take the time to reflect, inquire, and strengthen your self-awareness, self-compassion, and regulation. You'll be amazed at the impact it can have on your parenting journey.
Listen, now.
Let's dive into some thought-provoking ways to view our children.
In this episode, you'll be challenged to explore the power of interpretations and conclusions in your parenting journey.
Your experiences shapes your perspectives, and it's crucial to recognize how your conditioning and beliefs influence the way you interpret your child's behavior.
I found it challenging to be present without jumping to conclusions and to truly listen to my daughter's feelings and expressions.
Remember, every child is unique, and their actions are not always a reflection of disrespect or defiance. By embracing curiosity and open-mindedness, you can build stronger connections with your children and foster an environment of understanding and love.
Listen now for more insights and join the conversation!
In this week's podcast episode, we explore the concept of believing something is missing in the present moment.
As parents, it's easy to get caught up in wanting things to be different, constantly seeking what we believe is missing. But what if we took a step back and realized that everything we need is already here, in this very moment?
Join me as we dive into the practice of letting go of expectations and finding joy in the now.
Are you feeling discomfort in your parenting journey?
It's natural to want things to go well and to feel comfortable, but I found avoiding discomfort as a method for parenting led to a disconnect between my aspirations as a mom and my actual methods.
Parenting involves both challenge and support, and it's important to embrace all experiences, not just the comfortable ones.
In this week's episode of Parenting Paused, I guide you in exploring the topic of discomfort and how your own programming and conditioning can influence your reactions to your children's behavior. I offer you valuable insights on questioning your beliefs, letting go of blame, and finding kindness in challenging moments.
Listen to gain a fresh perspective on being with you while discovering the hidden wisdom within yourself and your relationship with your children.
This week, I dive into a topic that you might relate to: NEEDINESS!
I share my personal experience and insights on how to navigate this rather challenging aspect of parenting. My emphasis is on understanding and honoring your needs and how they are perceived by your child.
Tune in to discover my unique approach and learn practical strategies for embracing and loving your needs.
Are you struggling with limiting your children's computer use? Here's a Purejoy take on the matter. Rather than being the enforcer of limits, how about empowering your child to discover their own boundaries?
As a parent, I realized that my own experience of being constantly limited as a child led to resistance and a lack of self-awareness. Deciding to break that cycle with my own child, instead of imposing restrictions, I focused on supporting her self-regulation and helping her understand her own limits.
It wasn't easy, especially with concerns about the impact of excessive screen time. But I learned to work through my triggers and approach it differently.
By shifting my perspective, I recognized that her computer use wasn't about me. It was an opportunity for her to learn and grow.
As an adult, I could guide her in self-regulation, rather than imposing my own fears and limits.
Listen, now.
Happy New Year, lovies! Does the New Year prompt personal reflections and inquiry?
Today, put aside your resolutions and look to what is true now. Pause with me to wonder: Who are you in this beautiful moment? What magic is unfolding in your child's journey? What changes have you noticed in your parenting journey? How is it to honor the present moment and step into the future from a place of awareness? Join the conversation on this week's episode of Parenting Paused.
Listen here.
I found in my parenting journey that there's a delicate balance between caring for our children and unintentionally taking over. What might this balance look like?
As a mama, I find my love knows no bounds. Even though, when my daughter was young, I wanted to shield her from pain, guide her through challenges, and see her thrive I found it challenging to separate out my desires from hers. I discovered that caring involved offering support, encouragement, and coming along side her when she stumbled instead of trying to fix the situation. It was about creating an environment that supported confidence and independence, nurturing her growth rather than overshadowing it.
Truthfully, out of my own need to be a "good" mama, I unintentionally took over. It happened when my love, concern, and desire to protect her veered into taking care of her so she didn't have to experience any pain. What it came down to was I was offering her what I didn't receive when I was young. Even though it was well-intentioned, taking care instead of caring stifled her autonomy, hindered decision-making skills, and created a dependency which inadvertently communicated a lack of trust in her abilities.
Finding the sweet spot involved present listening, empowering her to make choices for her own good, and being an awake presence rather than a director. It was about encouraging her to spread her wings while reminding her that there is a safe base to return to when she needs a rest.
Finding the sweet spot between power and influence is the dance of parenthood. It's about knowing when to step in and hold our personal boundary and when to step back, supporting our children in taking the space to explore, learn, and develop their own sense of self.
Let's celebrate the power of awareness and influence—a force that lasts long after the rules are laid down. Here's to fostering connections, and guiding our children not just to follow our lead but with a love that shapes their journey.
Listen, now.
As the holiday season approaches, I find myself reflecting on the beautiful dance between giving and receiving. This time of year isn't just about the twinkling lights and festive decorations; it's a celebration of the connections we share and the love we have to offer.
There's something incredibly heartwarming about selecting that perfect gift, wrapping it with care, and witnessing the joy it brings to someone's face. Whether it's a thoughtful gesture, a homemade treat, or a simple act of kindness, the spirit of giving creates a ripple of warmth and joy that extends far beyond the physical gift itself.
On the flip side, receiving graciously is equally as special. It's about embracing the love, thoughtfulness, and effort that went into someone choosing that special gift for you. Sometimes, the most precious presents come in the form of time spent together, laughter shared, and memories created.
This year, let's challenge ourselves to be present in both giving and receiving. Let's appreciate the unique joy that each role brings and recognize the inherent beauty in the exchange of love and goodwill.
May your holiday season be filled with moments of generosity, gratitude, joy, and the magic that comes from the genuine connections we nurture.
Disappointment has been on my mind lately, and I imagine you can relate. There are some really great things that come along with parenting and yet it also has its share of disappointments.
I often found myself wrestling with the weight of expectations. It's not easy admitting that the source of disappointment isn't external, rather it comes from within – from the expectations I set on myself as a mother and therefore for my child to fulfill those expectations so I felt good about myself.
We all have dreams and aspirations for our children, hoping they'll flourish in certain areas, follow a certain path. But here's the kicker – kids are their own unique individuals, with their own strengths and passions. Sometimes, they don't align with the script we had in mind. And that can be tough to swallow.
It's a lesson in humility, a reminder that my child is not an extension of me, but a beautifully independent soul on their own journey. Of course, at times you'll feel disappointed, and it's also important to go to your SafeSeat when you recognize these feelings. Noticing that the disappointment is often rooted in the expectations you place on yourself and your kids gives you the opportunity to offer self-kindness.
So, I'm taking a step back, visiting my SafeSeat, recalibrating my expectations, and learning to appreciate the incredible qualities and talents my child possesses, even if they differ from what I envisioned.
Let's keep it real! Your child is not here to fulfill your dreams; they're here to create their own. And in embracing that truth, you might just find a more profound and authentic joy in the journey of parenthood.
Tag, You're it!Do you recall those words?
The exhilarating start of the game tag! Everyone dashes, laughter echoing, as the chase begins. Let the adventure commence!
The art of zigzagging, ducking, and weaving through the playground. Mastering the moves to avoid being tagged is an art form!
The anticipation and anxiety! Spotting that safe base, your heart races as you make a beeline for it, dodging pursuers along the way.
Finally you reach the safe base, pure bliss! The moment of victory, knowing you've outsmarted your chaser and secured a moment of respite.
In Purejoy we believe that parenting can feel very much like this child-hood game. That's why I created the SafeSeat. Think of it as your "safe-base" when the stress of parenting becomes overwhelming.
Listen on for how you can utilize this tool and bring back those blissful moments.
Hey lovies! The holiday season is upon us, and that means family gatherings. Ever found yourself at odds with more traditional family values while consciously parenting? I've been there.
I used to get defensive about my parenting style, convinced it was the only right way. But here's the shift – realizing it's okay to have different values. When heading to family events, I'd prep my daughter on their expectations, like manners, which were a big deal for them.
Instead of fighting against it, I framed it as an act of love for my family. Just like prepping her for school rules, it wasn't about right or wrong; it was about understanding the 'lay of the land.'
If you're heading home this year, imagine how it would feel to embrace your family's values instead of needing them to change. Take a new approach by supporting your kids in understanding the practical expectations without making it an emotional issue.
Listen, now.
Hey amazing parents! Leslie Potter here with a heartfelt pause for gratitude on this Thanksgiving week. Whether you're a regular listener or joining us for the first time, THANK YOU for being part of the Parenting Paused community.
Parenting is a wild ride, and kudos to all of you for taking a less traditional path! This week, let's dive into the transformative power of GRATITUDE.
I used to struggle with gratitude – it felt forced. But I realized it's a practice, a conscious choice to find appreciation even in challenging moments. This week, I invite you to join me. What moments evoke gratitude? Share below and let's inspire each other.
And here's a Purejoy challenge: What is it like to offer thanks to yourself? Parenting is tough, but you're here, seeking growth. Practice dropping the self-criticism just for this week and acknowledge the incredible parent you are.
Happy Thanksgiving!
If you've been with me, you know we're all about embracing a different way to parent – one that honors each child's unique spirit.
This week, let's dive into PRESSURE. Where does it come from? Have you ever felt the weight of external expectations making you question your parenting choices? I sure have!
In the quest for conscious parenting, I realized much of the pressure was linked to external influences. Ever been there? It can be overwhelming!
But here's the twist – what if the key is shifting your focus? Instead of telling your little ones what they can't do, what if you ask, "What's going on inside them that doesn't feel okay?"
Take a pause this week, break free from external pressures, and understand your children's behavior through empathy. Ever noticed your child expressing stress through their actions?
Listen, here.
Hey there, Purejoy Parents!
How do you find ways to navigate your own emotional triggers when your child's intense feelings strike a chord within you?
In this week's podcast, dive deep into the world of childhood emotions and their powerful energetic impact. Discover how to unravel the intricacies of emotional attunement and how it shapes our little ones' behaviors. Let's explore how understanding and managing these energetic charges can nurture a stronger bond with our kids.
Tune in now for some heartfelt insights!
Parenting is a journey filled with love, learning, and sometimes apprehension about the future. What do you notice in your parenting and energetics when you find yourself worrying about the future rather than parenting from the reality of right now?
Do you parent the child in front of you or an invented future version of them?
As you reflect back on the unexpected and sometimes difficult experiences you've had in the past, you'll see that you met the challenge as it happened.
Here's to parenting with open hearts, free from the weight of future fears, and trusting that whatever comes "you've got it".
This week let's talk about something that's been on my mind lately - the idea of children being "behind."
It's easy to get caught up in the comparison game, especially in today's fast-paced world. You see other kids hitting milestones, excelling in various areas, and you sometimes wonder if your own child is "keeping up."
But here's the thing - every child is on their own path. They bloom at their own pace, like beautiful flowers in a garden. Some may walk early, while others take their time, but it doesn't determine their worth or potential.
So, if you ever find yourself wondering if your child is "behind," take a deep breath and remember that all children are unique and they're exactly where they need to be. By coming along side your child and supporting their wisdom you will be able to support the incredible individuals they already are.
Parenting is a journey of love, growth, and discovery. It's a constant learning process, and one lesson that's been on my mind lately is being mindful of our own expectations when it comes to our children.
It's only natural to have dreams and hopes for our kids. We want them to thrive, to find their own happiness, and to lead fulfilling lives. However, it's important to pause and reflect on whether these hopes align with our child's true desires.
It's essential that we give them the space and support to explore these without imposing our own aspirations onto them.
Let's all take a moment to reflect on our own expectations and ensure we're providing a space for our children to blossom into their authentic selves. Together, we can raise a generation of strong, confident, and uniquely beautiful individuals.
Finding the right level of self-control in parenting is like being the captain of a ship, guiding it through both calm waters and occasional storms. It's important to create a safe and nurturing environment internally which supports growth and independence outside.
On this week's podcast you will discover how the feeling of powerlessness leads to over-compensating, giving you the illusion of control, and how to relax back and open to a greater knowing.
Parenthood is an incredible rollercoaster ride, filled with highs and lows that shape us into the parents we are today. One aspect we all encounter on this journey is regret. It's okay to admit that there are moments we wish we could redo or regret decisions we'd make differently.
Let's not shy away from regret, but rather, face it head-on with compassion, exploration and an open heart. Could you discover both the benefits and drawbacks that come along with each regret?
Discover how to Release Regret on this week's Parenting Paused Podcast.
Do you ever feel like you're trying to control your kids' behavior with strategies you learned from others, just to attain peace within yourself?
Have you ever wondered if there's a better way to handle those moments of discomfort?
In this episode, we'll explore these questions and more. Explore how to shift your focus from external control to inner peace through the foundational tool at Purejoy called "The SafeSeat".
Discover how recognizing your internal disturbance leads to a more harmonious family life.
Are you struggling to find moments of relaxation in the chaos of parenthood?
Do you constantly feel the need to keep up with the never-ending to-do list?
Do you ever wonder if you're truly present with your kids, or are you always chasing the next task?
This week on Parenting Paused, let's dive deep into the art of relaxation and being present. Are external voices and expectations drowning out your authentic parenting journey?
Join us as we explore slowing down, embracing the moment, and rediscovering your own rhythm in parenthood. Let's shift from living someone else's life to fully experiencing your unique journey as a parent.
Listen, now.
As a mom who's been on this wild parenting journey for 23 years now, I know the struggles and challenges we face in raising our kids. But here's the thing: I've realized that much of my early parenting was influenced by deep-seated conditioning and personal stories I carried with me.
In this week's episode of "Parenting Pause," I'm delving into the profound concept of consciousness and conditioning. How often have we taken things personally, only to realize that these reactions stem from our past experiences and learned beliefs?
I'll share my own journey of breaking free from the "I'm not important" narrative and how it impacted my relationship with my daughter.
Join me as we explore the doorways to a deeper level of consciousness, where we can embrace the wisdom of the present moment and truly understand our needs and our children's needs.
Tune in to this week's episode, and let's start rewriting our parenting narratives together.
Let's talk about those tricky behaviors our little ones might exhibit. Instead of labeling them as "acting out" or just normal behavior, it's time to see them for what they truly are: symptoms.
Think about it this way - when we focus solely on solving the symptom itself, we often forget to dig deeper and address the root cause behind it. It can be tempting to tame their negative actions because society tells us good behavior is everything... but let me tell you a secret.
Every hit or bite from your kiddo? Yep, that right there is simply a symptom – an expression of something bigger going on underneath the surface. So here's my challenge for all you amazing parents out there: instead of getting caught up in trying to control these symptoms externally, how about empowering yourselves with knowledge?
By understanding both why certain behaviors arise and focusing on strengthening that special parent-child bond even more (because who doesn't want one?), together we can create an environment where true growth happens! Remember folks - every challenging moment presents a golden opportunity for learning and connection if approached through empathy and curiosity.
Your beautiful fairytale story begins every morning when the sun rises. You fill your basket up with all of the parenting techniques and knowledge you know. Then, set off into the day to parent gently and offer all the love and kindness you possess.
An uncomfortable moment comes up for your child and you think, yes, the perfect time to pull out my validation technique. You've heard it works so well for other parents, you have SO much hope.
Instead the situation turns into "The Big Bad Wolf" and you can't understand where things went wrong.
On this week's podcast you'll discover how to instead use that basket of techniques on yourself. You'll learn how offering kindness and validation to yourself first is the secret sauce to achieving your fairytale ending.
Listen, here.
Do you notice yourself being "judgy" when you perceive that you or your child makes a mistake? You are not alone!
What is a mistake anyway?
The definition of a mistake is as follows: An action or judgment that is misguided or wrong.
Is it wrong in your eyes or when listening in do you notice someone else's voice?
On this week's Parenting Paused Podcast discover a different approach to inquire within to explore is it really a mistake?
As a mother I've often found myself imagining not so perfect outcomes about my child's future when I'm confronted with uncomfortable situations.
My child refuses to do homework and BAM my brain immediately starts cranking out thoughts about myself as a parent and the horrible outcomes of a stubborn child who won't focus on their education. Pretty soon I've imagined them on the side of a dark alley, homeless, jobless and I'm accepting the reward for "Worst Mother".
The thoughts swirl and pretty soon I've created an unimaginable series of events that have no actual basis. This then creates anxiety, self-doubt and so much more.
This week we'll review what to do when you're imagination kicks into high gear and how to instead SLOW DOWN and offer kindness and responsibility.
Listen, now.
Do you remember a time when your child came to you expressing disappointment?
They didn’t make the team, someone made fun of them, or they got a D on their latest project?
What came up for you?
Did a “playlist” of strategies come up to make them feel OK?
As the"music" played did you spring into action to banish those feelings for yourself and your child?
On this week's Parenting Paused Podcast learn how to exchange your Go To "playlist" with one that offers a pause, a breath and a healthy strategy to support you and your child in dealing with disappointment.
Episode 189: Dealing with Disappointment
Check it out here!
It may seem like the goal in parenting is for your kids to behave perfectly 100% of the time.
Instead of focusing on your kids behavior, have you considered what your part is in the dynamic?
For example, you ask your teen to take the trash out and they say, "no" with an eye roll. Conventional parenting says: "kids should show respect by doing what they are told".
What do you tell yourself about your parenting when your kiddo tells you "no" or you perceive them acting "disrespectfully"?
Curious about a new perspective on how to relate to yourself and your child?
Listen here!
If you google the most common words to describe teens, you'll find a list of words:
Risk Takers, Rebellious, Immature
What list of words do you use to describe how it feels to parent a teen?
Powerless, Afraid, Worried.
In Purejoy Parenting, you start right here... how are you feeling? Because often, how you perceive your teen begins with your emotions and conditioned beliefs.
If feeling powerless you may compensate by using a "power-over parenting style instead of choosing to connect with your teen and their knowing.
Are you willing to pause and recognize your innocent heart before you act? Of course, you want to protect your teen and yet are you open to attuning to your teen's innocent heart, too?
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover a courageous step to support your teen in knowing themselves!
Parenting a teen can feel 🔥INTENSE!🔥
Have you heard the adage: "Little Kids, little problems. Big Kids, big problems?"
Years ago, I created a Parent Coach model for parents of At-Risk Teens. As you can imagine, their behavior was viewed as provocative! And of course, the parents of these teens whole-heartedly wanted their kids to be successful and avoid suffering.
Partnering with a few brave parents, we explored a different approach that became the crux of the Purejoy view. With kindness for yourself, (always with kindness), are you willing to look at your part in your relationship with your teen?
Discover more here.
In Purejoy, our view is: Thoughts and feelings drive behavior.
When you perceive your child as acting out behaviorally, what happens to you emotionally? Do you immediately judge your child? Take a pause and look a little deeper... What are your thoughts? What do you tell yourself about how your parenting when your child acts out?
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, explore your internal landscape when you are emotionally triggered. Discover how your thoughts and feelings, if unexamined, drive your behavior.
And of course... don't forget the secret sauce: Kindness!!!!
Check it out here.
Discovering conscious parenting is a journey of self-awareness and compassion. It's not about being perfect all the time, but rather being conscious of what's going on inside of you and supporting your child in doing the same. Listen in to explore the possibilities of conscious parenting. Becoming more aware of your actions and reactions, supports creating a more loving and understanding home for yourself and your children.
Parents are superheroes!
While you may not wear a mask and a silly costume like in comic books, you play an incredibly important role in your children’s lives and make significant sacrifices to ensure their well-being and happiness.
You may go to great lengths to keep your children safe and secure.
We do it all, but do we have to?
Do you bolt to the rescue when your child is struggling with a problem, relationship or task?
How do you see your child at that moment?
Do you see a helpless child or a victim?
Are you willing to hand the cape over to them while still offering support, getting curious and letting them know they aren’t alone? It's a joy to teach them to be their own superhero.
Find out how!
I often found myself worrying about my child’s future and if the decisions I was making were the “right” ones. The “ifs” sometimes seemed to take over!
If they are on screens too long, will they fry their brains?
If they eat too many sweets, will they get cavities?
If they push against my boundaries, does that make me a bad parent?
Sound familiar to you?
Constantly focusing on the future and projecting beliefs into it can be exhausting.
In this week’s Parenting Paused Podcast discover how to overcome the worry, since parenting doesn’t come with a crystal ball.
Listen here.
Do you experience a sense of accomplishment when your child behaves in a way that aligns with the values you've instilled in them?
And how do you feel if they don't share the same beliefs as you do?
It's natural for parents to judge their child's actions as good or bad based on whether they align with their own values.
However, it's important to consider where those beliefs and expectations come from.
Do you hear an external voice when judging your child's actions?
Take a moment to reflect on this.
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, learn about the benefits of curiosity for both you and your child, especially when it comes to values.
Listen here: Do you Expect Your Child to Have Your Values?
Kindness is a BIG word right now! We often hear in the parenting world that kindness is being nice and if your child is being mean, our goal should be to change their behavior to something more agreeable.
Do you see kindness as only “good”?
Do you feel the need to change your child's behavior if you perceive it as mean?
In this week’s podcast you’ll hear how kindness is not so black and white and how you can turn it into a beautiful tool for yourself and your family.
Listen now!
Kindness is not about Being Nice
Take a Purejoy Parenting conclusion quiz! Read these scenarios and discover where your mind takes you!
Ready? Go!
Your son has been playing video games for the past several hours and says he doesn't want to go for a walk.
- What's your first thought?
Your daughter stole her sister's clothing to wear to school.
- What do you conclude about her?
Your preK just pushed a kid down a slide at the playground.
- What do you tell yourself about them?
Explore what it is like to suspend your conclusions, stay with the sensation of discomfort a little longer, and learn about the practice of "Aware Listening".
Listen now.
Are your Conclusions True?
Are you feeling "shoulded" on in your parenting? You should do this and your children should do that. Are you organizing your life to avoid the discomfort that comes along with all of the "shoulds"?
What is it like to try something new?
Are you ready to be the expert of you?
Are you willing to welcome that discomfort as a friend rather than a foe?
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, explore what this counter instinctual work is able to offer you.
Trust Your Biology
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, the topic is Parenting Biology... a much different topic than Parenting Psychology!
Have you considered how much of your parenting wisdom comes almost thoughtlessly, through an innate system of biology? Or, are you more likely to trust a parenting "expert", book, or trusted friend or family? Is there resistance to seeking internal guidance?
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, the invitation is to open up to trusting the inner wisdom that is already present. You trust that your heart will beat and that your breath will come. You trust that the sun will rise in the East tomorrow morning.
This week, consider trusting yourself and your inner wisdom as a parent!
"Grown ups are boring!"
I remember when my child said this to me. My first thought was, "Well of course we are. We have to be! We are parents and have chores and bills and jobs and meals and our own parents to take care of!" My second thought was, "Good point... Why do I have to be so serious?"
Do you remember thinking adults were boring when you were a child? Do you have a tendency to bring heaviness to your parenting? Take a moment to consider the possibility of bringing child-like lightness to your day.
Explore the root of seriousness in your parenting and discover ways to, Lighten Up!
Imagine being at the beach, watching the waves at a distance as they rumble under the surface, rise to a peak, then fold on to the shore, sending fizzing bubbles over your toes.
Are you able to stop that cycle in anyway?
Now imagine watching the waves of emotions inside you as they rumble under your conscious surface, rising to a peak and then folding on to the shore... how do you feel when you sense that discomfort?
Discover more, now!
Are you upset when your kids don't like you?
Before listening to the podcast, take a moment, either right now or later in the day, to truly contemplate this question.
How does your answer impact how you parent? How does your response alter how you relate to your own parents or other parents?
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover how to set your child, spouse or others FREE from your need to be loved.
Check it out!
Projection in Parenting!
What does that even mean?
Let's say your child hits someone at a playdate. Or your teen just arrived home late from a party. What happens to you right in that moment? When your mind starts to fill in a story between the gaps of what actually occurred you are projecting either the past or a future outcome on the moment.
Imagine meeting each moment as if seeing for the first time. How would this change your relationships?
Curious?
Listen now!
Are you a Parent Pleaser? You've probably heard about People Pleasing, saying "yes" when you really don't want to, etc. This strategy is used to protect yourself from feeling an emotion by ignoring your own personal boundaries. (Essentially, purchasing love).
How does this work in Parent Pleasing? Well, do you act a certain way with your child to ensure you always feel kind and loving?
Here's the same question from a different view: have you ever perceived your child as demanding or entitled? Could it be that this is a backlash from saying "yes" to your child when you really meant "no"?
Intrigued?
Discover more by listening.
When did you have your last emotional meltdown?💥 A fight with your spouse, your kids, a coworker... Did you say something in the moment you wished you hadn't? 😫
So much of parenting advice is about supporting children to emotionally regulate, but what if you are struggling with how?
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, discover an easy signal that supports you in unlinking your emotional energy from your actions.
Are you getting derailed by your own expectations?
You try a new trick to be on time in the morning, but your child can't find their left shoe. (Again!)
You plan a beautiful family outing for some much-needed fun and it is filled with temper tantrums.
Of course, you expect a lot from yourself and your children... and the truth is Parenting is Messy!
Discover here the root of these expectations while learning how to work with them the Purejoy way.
Is setting boundaries a struggle for you? Or do you find it easy?
You probably have heard at some point, "Kids need boundaries!"
But... what does that really mean? And how do you do it?
What's the difference between setting a "healthy personal boundary" and controlling your child's behavior?
Listen to discover the nuance.
What was your parenting fantasy before you had kids? How different is it to what you experience daily?
Perhaps you visioned preparing a creatively delicious healthy dinner and your children eagerly gobbled it up glowing brighter with inner health, bite by bite. Instead, they whine and complain about not having mac n cheese and how disgusting vegetables are.
Maybe you dreamed that your children stopped fighting because you learned that new technique about sibling rivalry. And the next second they are yelling and at each other again.
How do you handle the discrepency between your fantasy and your reality? Is it possible to still find the joy?
Are you trying to be the perfect parent? Even if you know on a conceptual level, that "perfect" doesn't exist... are you still trying to be perfect?
What does that look like to you? How do you define a perfect parent? Does this idea come from a book, a movie, your own parents or grandparents? Or maybe the image of Mary Poppins who is "practically perfect in every way".
Where does that internal voice come from saying "you should do this" or "you should be better". Or a really common one in the conscious parenting world is, "You should have gotten this by now!"Who is that person with so many opinions? Do you trust this voice?
Who can you trust?!?In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, learn about the two foundational practices to use while having a dialogue with that inner Mary Poppins.
Find your own wisdom as you listen.
Have you ever looked at your kids and thought: "What the heck am I doing?!?!?!"
The feeling of insecurity in parenting is SO common! Just look at the parenting "expert" field... it's massive these days!
Do these scenarios sound familiar?
In your excitement, you shared a story about your parenting with your mother, only to receive the "Mom Look"! You know the one: Disapproval without saying a single word.
Or...
You are at a playdate and a friend provides some unsolicited advice on what you should definitely do about your child's behavior.
Of course these situations, and many others, can elicit feelings of insecurity!
This week you can explore your parenting insecurity. You may believe on some level that it is caused by your child's behavior.
"If only my child would behave, then I wouldn't have to feel this way!"
Is this true?
What if you normalized the feeling of insecurity?
Listen to discover more.
This week in the Parenting Paused Podcast, listen in to explore the concept of innocence.
How do you respond to a newborn baby when they cry?
When they express a need in the only way they know how?
- Do you conclude that they are manipulating you?
How do you respond to your child, tween, or teen when they express a need?
- Do you conclude that they are manipulating you?
And how do you treat yourself?
Listen to rediscover your own innocence, so that you can welcome it in yourself and your child.
You really believe your kiddo should want to do their chores, do the dishes, the laundry, stop playing video games and help make dinner ... the list goes on!
How do you behave when they don't?
Do you use shame or blame?
Subtle coercion or bribes?
All the old parenting tricks?
Now go one step further: How do you feel when they don't?
This week, you'll explore how your emotional reactions impact the way you teach your kiddos the practical skill sets of life.
Of course, you want them to have practical skill sets! When you ask them to do the dishes, are your emotional needs weaved into this request?
Discover how to untangle the practical from the emotional in this week's episode!
Have you ever heard yourself saying the exact same thing your mother or father said to you as a child, and been horrified?
So many parents seek help because they do NOT want to parent from the family template they were given. It didn't work for you as a child, so why would it work for your children?
And then... you hear the words your mother or father said fly right out of your mouth!
Why does that happen???
You tried SO hard!
You read every book.
You watched all the Parenting Conferences.
Does this sound like you?
At Purejoy Parenting, the secret sauce to a beautiful relationship with your child is a beautiful relationship with yourself. Are you open to offering kindness to yourself when you act like your mom or dad?
Find out more in this week's episode!
Oh no!!!! Is this PERMISSIVE parenting?!?!? (dun dun DUN!!!!!) 😨
After parents learn about the Purejoy Parenting philosophy, it's pretty common for people to ask... am I just letting my kid do whatever they want?
One thing that differentiates Purejoy from other Parenting styles is that the focus is on a level deeper than behavior. 🤔
Who are you without your conditioning?
Who is your child?
How are you supporting the child you have?
Check out this week's episode to discover more!
You live in a culture that tells you how your children "should be". Through the ages and stages, there is a lot of info that expects your child to measure up.
In Purejoy, we go a little deeper by supporting you in looking internally. What need are you trying to meet when you expect your child to act or be a certain way different than they are?
In Purejoy we view everyone as deserving love for who they are. Including YOU!
Listen to this week's podcast episode, where Leslie shares what she learned the hard way!
Hear the questions she asked herself as she learned to parent the child she had, instead of the child that lived in her fantasy.
This week's episode explores the difference between exploring and explaining.
Do you find yourself exploring with your child what's going on- their experience, showing up for them to explore their world, how they see things, the conclusions they're coming to, the meanings they're concluding?
Or do you explain how the world works, how they're supposed to think, what they're supposed to do, and how they can be 'right' depending on how you experience the world? There is a strong tendency, especially when feeling powerless and uncomfortable with their actions, to fall back on explaining how things are.
Tune in to hear alternatives to explaining and encouragement for how to be more curious with your child and their experience.
Are you a student of Parenting?
If you are here, you probably had an inspiration to research "how to parent".
Maybe you wanted to do things differently from your parents.
Maybe you found that what you were doing was not working.
Maybe after all the conscious parenting books, podcasts, lectures... you still perceive that the way you parent isn't "working".
Do you hear the internal judgment there?
In this week's Parenting Paused podcast, you will explore the secret sauce... kindness to self!
What would it be like to be kind to yourself when you just don't know?
Starting anew is the focus this week in Purejoy.
What does that even mean? How do you enter your days by stepping into the intimacy of the moment?
Especially with parenting it often feels easier to fall back on book knowledge and conditioned thinking to guide you forward.
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about trusting in your capacity to enter each moment and to parent from your heart.
It is a mighty task especially if you were trained to doubt yourself and your wisdom.
What does it mean to be happy? This is the question we are taking a look at in this week’s episode of Parenting Paused. As you wind down the end of 2022 consider- what is your view of what it means to be happy.
Often we get locked into happiness being about everything coming easy and comfortable and so then when discomfort arises you wonder, can we truly be happy? Tune into this week’s episode to hear what else might be possible and hear about an opportunity coming right up to support you to be truly happy in the new year!
Most parenting advice focuses on the relationship between you and your child.
Of course, this makes ALOT of sense! That's why you are here, right? It is so important to you to have a solid parent-child relationship!
Have you considered that the 🎁 secret sauce 🎁 to having a loving relationship with your child is having a loving relationship with yourself?
Check out this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to find hot more!
Parenting is SERIOUS! Scary, infuriating, and nerve-racking! When you perceive it that way it is easy to focus on the serious side when things feel so, well... SERIOUS!!!
However, how do your children respond to your seriousness?
Life to them is often playful and filled with delight.
What would it be like to speak to them in their high value of play?
Listen to this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to discover why play and laughter enhance your relationship with your child.
Stuck in the guilt cycle?
Stuck feeling annoyed by your child's behavior?
Stuck feeling frustrated by your response to your child's behavior?
Do you find yourself repeating:
"Why is my child so... (lazy, disrespectful, rude, entitled)!?!"
OR...
"Why can't I get this whole Peaceful Parenting thing RIGHT???"
Check out this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to discover a practice that expands how you look at being STUCK and a tool to use to get UNSTUCK.
Have you ever been so certain that you were communicating to your kids (or partner) in a calm and peaceful manner, just to hear them respond, 💥"Why are you so mad?"💥
Or vice versa, have you ever noticed when your partner or children are having internal experiences that do not match what they are saying?
In this week's Parenting Paused Podcast, you are invited to explore an awareness practice of paying attention to when your words do not match your energy.
As a parent, you probably believe that you must set limits and boundaries on your child in order for them to behave.
There IS another WAY!
Imagine how it would be to hold a healthy personal boundary in relation to your child. How do you treat yourself when your child doesn't do their homework, won't get off the computer, or won't eat healthy?
Check out this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to discover a new definition of boundaries!
Your stories are EXCITING! Entertaining! Gripping! But…. are they true?
Children, like adults, experience life through the filters of their perception. It is SO important for your children to be heard, but what is more important? Listening to the details of the story? Or listening to the feelings that are being provoked?
In this week’s podcast, we explore what it is like to TRULY talk to the feelings that are wrapped in the stories your children weave.
On last week’s episode, we talked about how what you love in your child you love in yourself, and what you don’t like in your child, you don’t like in yourself. Everyone is pretty familiar with the negative side of this- calling your child lazy, rude, and entitled- is what you hate in yourself.
In this week’s episode, Leslie dives into the positive traits, and how you might be taking over the traits you love in your child.
See what it might be like to own the qualities you love in yourself, rather than projecting them onto your child.
Sign up for the Happily Family Conference at www.purejoyparenting.com/blog
In this week's episode, Leslie breaks down how you most likely abandoned certain traits that are a part of your human experience.
What happens when you see those abandoned traits in your child? Do you judge them? Act out on them?
Tune in to hear more about how to work with that and hear how Leslie learned about being an efficiency expert from her daughter.
Are you truly connecting with your child? Or are you engulfing them, projecting your need for connection onto them, during your attempts to connect?
In conscious parenting, oftentimes importance is placed on connection with your child. This can feel very enticing for a parent with a void, or an unmet need to feel loved.
Then what happens is an “over connection” – basically connecting using your need to connect and feel loved as a guide, without considering the child and their needs or preferences.
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how too much connection leads to unhealthy separation and signs your child might be exhibiting to tell you they feel engulfed.
www.purejoyparenting.com
This week on Parenting Paused, Leslie shares a saying in the Purejoy view that goes- talk to the feelings, not the story.
We live in a culture that values concepts. We have tons of stories about many different things that have happened in our lives, our memories, and what we think is gonna happen in the future.
And yet, often those stories are driven by feelings.
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how to talk to the feelings and not the story.
"Be Kind!" has become a very common phrase. But what does it really mean?
The message being sent is really "be NICE" - which is often applied as abandoning yourself to take care of someone else's thoughts and feelings.
Tune into this week's podcast to hear Leslie offer an alternative view of kindness that will transform your parenting.
As a child, when you expressed big desires, you might have been criticized by your caregivers.
You likely internalized that critical voice and use it whenever you meet the intensity of your own big desire inside.
Tune into this week's Parenting Paused Podcast to deep dive into the origins of your self-aggression and how it shows up in your parenting today.
You want your child to be FREE to be fully themselves.
That’s what conscious parents are supposed to want, right?!
It sounds great… but how does that really look?
How can you love your child fully, for who they are, when they are doing things that drive you crazy?
…and what about that nagging fear that if you let them fully be free, they might not want a connection with you?
That thought can really sting!
In this week’s Parenting Paused Podcast episode Leslie Potter breaks down the idea that we should love our children for who they are - how to do it and what it TRULY means.
Have you ever had a day that just DID NOT go the way you wished for? Tune into this episode to hear all about Leslie's recent 'Freaky Friday' and how she supported herself to stay in the present moment and choose how she wanted to be with it rather than positioning herself as a victim to some pretty freaky circumstances!
Does your child always listen to you? Does your child thank you for the meals you prepare? Does your child gladly put their clothes away? Does your child finish all their homework on time and independently? HA! Most parents can't say yes to all those questions and in this week's episode Leslie breaks down how and why kiddos resist and what is going on in the relationship dynamics of parent and child in those moments. Tune in to hear more about how becoming aware of this supports that you don't have to take their resistance or outbursts personally.
Last week we were taking a look at how young conclusions might be showing up in your parenting.
Emotional blackmailing is about what happens when you unconsciously, in an attempt to stay safe, use emotionally manipulative tactics to get what you want!
Tune into this episode to hear alternatives and what it looks like to set healthy personal boundaries instead.
www.purejoyparenting.com/safeseat
Last week on Parenting Paused we talked about how the way you were parented has a profound impact on how you now parent, and it may not be obvious the ways.
So this week Leslie shares more about why that is- how you came to conclusions when you were young and those conclusions may be at work below the surface of your parenting. Part of becoming the parent you wish to be is to check out those early conclusions and in this episode, you will get support on how to do just that! www.purejoyparenting.com
Last week on Parenting Paused we talked about how the way you were parented has a profound impact on how you now parent, and it may not be obvious the ways.
So this week Leslie shares more about why that is- how you came to conclusions when you were young and those conclusions may be at work below the surface of your parenting. Part of becoming the parent you wish to be is to check out those early conclusions and in this episode, you will get support on how to do just that! www.purejoyparenting.com
In your parenting journey have you ever said something like...
I never want to be like my mom...
Or I'm going to be just like my dad...
One is about doing things differently, the other trying to be the same.
And yet both are focused on how YOU were parented, rather than being in a relationship with your child.
This happens because how you were parented has a profound impact on how you parent.
Tune into this week's podcast with Leslie Potter to hear more about how and why this happens, how to take steps toward focusing on your own personal brilliance, and creating a parenting presence that shares that with your child.
Have you reached a point of no return in your parenting? You're working so hard, you've tried everything, you can't seem to make any changes and be the parent you want to be and STILL, you find yourself blowing up, acting out, and doing exactly the opposite of what you intend to be. Tune into this week's episode and listen to Leslie break the point of no return for you. www.purejoyparenting.com/safeseat
In the Purejoy view, all feelings are welcome! But what about the ones that you HATE? How you organize feelings, ones you like or don't like, is learned. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about this and how feelings drive behavior.
www.purejoyparenting.com
Hey Mama! Do you ever feel stuck in your parenting? Does your child have behavior that drives you crazy- you want to get rid of it! You've probably tried so many things to get it to stop! Of course, Mama- it can be so intense to stay with the feelings that come up in you- you might find yourself throwing that hot potato right back as we talked about last week. But in this week's episode, Leslie breaks down how to work with that sense of being stuck inside you- so you can bring awareness to your patterns and get out!
Attunement- a word often used in attachment parenting, or conscious parenting, about tuning into your child's feelings. What is not often talked about is how attuning can often bring up uncomfortable or unresolved feelings inside of you, feelings you have organized your life not to feel. Tune into this week's podcast to hear more about the energy of those feelings and what happens when you catch the emotional hot potato from your child.
Get your free five-day SafeSeat Course delivered to your inbox at www.purejoyparenting.com/safeseat
This week’s podcast wraps up a 4 part series we’ve been working through over the last few weeks- about The Origins of Mom-guilt!
We talked about true cooperation versus demanding compliance, how to be with the heat of rage, and the heaviness of disappointment, and this week we are turning to another feeling that you most likely don’t like!
But any time you don’t want to feel a feeling- you have to leave yourself or self-aggress.
In the Purejoy view- we see guilt as a refusal to truly intimate with whatever is coming up in the moment.
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how that works, and what might be more true of you and your desire to be in open-hearted relationship with your child.
We've been working through some of the energetic dynamics that show up in your parenting. Cooperations vs Compliance, the Energetics of Rage, and this week we are going to take a closer look at what happens when you get disappointed in your parenting.
You know this, yeah? How you promise you will do better, be better- not yell, or force, that you will get the kids to listen.
And then it doesn't happen. Over and over again.
Tune into this episode to hear more about how you may be setting yourself up for disappointment, and how to be with it.
Red hot rage! Do you know about this? When you ask your child to do something and they say 'NO'! Whew! It can be so intense to feel anger and rage in the face of your child. And yet that fire is there. You might yell, scream, raise your voice or lash out. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how to work with the energetics of rage in your parenting. www.purejoyparenting.com
More than likely you want your child to cooperate, yeah?
And what happens when they don't? If they say no?
Do you get frustrated? Demand? Seek for their compliance?
It can be a lot!
In this week's episode, Leslie talks about what supports a cooperative spirit in children, and what doesn't.
Hear about ways to recognize where you might be holding a hidden agenda, and how to work with what arises in you so that you can find connection and cooperation in the present moment with your kiddo.
www.purejoyparenting.com
This week on Parenting Paused- Leslie shares one of the Pillars of Purejoy- Support vs Helping. These aspects of the Purejoy way came out of a deep inquiry into the relationship dynamics as her daughter grew up.
When you want to help someone, you must see them as helpless. Tune into this week's episode to hear what shifting to support would be like, and what it might offer your parenting journey.
Spontaneity!
What do you notice when you hear that word- when you say it to yourself?
It's easy to get overruled in our homes.
Dinner always happens at six o'clock!
Homework is done before TV!
Clean the bathroom on Saturday!
And we established these, of course, to get a little bit of order and some containers in our homes.
And yet, is there space to show up in the moment around some of those things- when something else is being asked or something else is important in that moment?
This week on the podcast, Leslie shares a personal experience story and examines what it might be like to move from the Heart and what spontaneity looks like in parenting.
Tune into this week's episode for a new practice around meeting and matching your child's energy.
Leslie shares what it was like for her when her daughter was little and had a big charge of energy, and how she worked with what came up for her.
www.purejoyparenting.com
What was your childhood like? Who were you as a child?
Your early experience can show up in sneaky ways and become the source of suffering in your parenting.
At Purejoy we support you to check out those early strategies and see what updating them might be like. Usually, it’s quite a positive experience to get support for that challenge and grow yourself up!
Tune into this episode to hear more about how Leslie created the Purejoy Practices to do just that!
Do others try an influence the way you parent? Are you asked about what you are doing? Purejoy is here to support you to be true to yourself- which can be hard sometimes! To unpack your conditioning back towards your own knowing and trust yourself. We do this by creating an environment where you can discover your own personal brilliance! Tune in this week as Leslie shares about how she learned to trust herself and supported her daughter to do the same
Healthy Aggression?
It may be hard to consider these two words together! Aggression is typically seen in our culture as a negative expression.
In this week's episode Leslie shares about what is going on underneath aggression and why it might be showing up in your parenting.
www.purejoyparenting.com
In the US we just celebrated Mother's day- how did that go for you? What is the current aftermath?
Such a ripe time to consider what happened versus your expectations- no matter how you perceive it went- right?
Tune into this week's episode for a deeper consideration of where those expectations come from and how they show up in your parenting.
www.purejoyparenting.com
You hear a lot about attachment in the conversation of parenting, yeah? How to respond to your child on demand- how to connect.
But have you considered healthy separation and what that might look like in your parenting journey?
Tune into this week's episode to hear more!
www.purejoyparenting.com
What do you hold sacred in your parenting?
We each probably have a different definition of what sacred means- and how does that come into your parenting?
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about what it might look like to hold the present moment as a sacred experience of being with your child.
www.purejoyparenting.com
leslie@purejoyparenting.com
You are probably familiar with the expression "you hurt my feelings!" Yeah?
In this week's episode of parenting Paused Leslie shares a new way to look at what's going on below the surface of the ways you are relating with your kiddos when it seems like they are 'making you feel' a certain way.
You'll hear what empowerment is available to you when you recognize that your feelings are yours- and no one can hurt them or make you feel them!
www.purejoyparenting.com
Our culture highly values knowledge and intelligence. Approaching parenting from a headspace creates a division that launches you out of the present moment with your child.
Tune into this week's episode to hear what Leslie has to say about what it's like to parent through the heart.
Purejoy is getting ready for the fourth Purejoy Parent Coach Certification training to begin in June 2022. If you're curious to become a coach- visit
www. purejoyparenting.com/ppcc
Do you feel like your kids are out to get you? Do they make everything so much more complicated?
Just maybe- that's about you?! Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how to support yourself, and stop taking your kid's behavior on as an emotional threat.
Sign up for Tea Time (4/7/22 @10 am MT)
What does it really mean to love yourself and parent from an open heart?
Tune into this week's episode to hear a story about just what it's like!
Of course, you get worried, about your parenting, about your kiddos- you love them so much! That energy is bound to come up in your parenting journey.
This week's episode takes a closer look at what else might be going on, and what other options are available to continue to create an environment for your child to reveal themselves to you- even when you worry!
If you want to join in on Leslie's new venture- The Pillars of Purejoy- send an email to leslie@purejoyparenting.com
Are you trying too hard in your parenting?
Maybe you feel like your not trying hard enough? or there is always more you could be doing?
Tune into this week's episode with Leslie for a fresh new look at trying hard.
What if you aren’t raising kids- as much as creating an environment of emotional safety around them that supports them growing into the brilliant human being they are becoming in this life?
Tune into this week's episode to hear more!
Do you trust your own inner voice?
It can be so tricky to notice your own inner voice in a world that has trained you to seek external confirmation for any decision you make?
Tune into this week’s episode to hear more about the Purejoy view and pick up some clues about how to turn towards your own inner voice and support your child to do the same!
Growing up in your home you took on a certain view…often it was your caregiver's view of the world. Since you were young you saw the world the way your caregivers did. Even though as you grew your view changed and often times was counter to your caregivers, when you get emotionally triggered your early view arises.
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about Purejoy as a view and check out how you see the world, and what view you might be working from.
When do you feel most valued in your relationships?
Is it when another makes space for your opinions, thoughts, ideas and truly shows interest in who you are?
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about valuing your child's brilliance!
Are you committed to your self-care? Do you have a practice for inner reflection? I know, I know- when are you supposed to do that with all that is going on in your life? Tune into this week's episode for a little closer look as to why this is so important in your parenting journey!
When my daughter started behaving in ways I didn’t think she should I was flummoxed. I thought inside “I’m treating her well and meeting all her needs on-demand so what am I doing wrong?” She was acting defiant and expressing a lot of rage and this wasn’t part of my parenting plan which I was sure was going to work. Tune in to hear more!
How do we support healthy self-esteem in our children? The first place to start is looking inside to your self-esteem. When I took a deep dive inside I realized how insecure I felt in my parenting. I looked “good” on the outside because I was sitting in the seat of “power” and yet this was to cover my insecurity inside. Tune into this week's episode for more!
www.purejoyparenting.com
I found when looking outside for advice or methods to control my daughter’s behavior I wasn’t trusting my internal wisdom. Comparing myself with other parents was brutal. It seemed at the time that other parents didn’t struggle as much as I did.
Tune into this episode to hear more about how I turned towards my own knowing, and how Purejoy supports you to do the same.
www.purejoyparenting.com
The reason we find it challenging not to take things personally is that when our children lash out it feels personal because of the story we’ve told ourselves - about ourselves. We tell ourselves stories about what it means when our children say things about us, or when they won’t listen to us. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about not taking things your children say or do personally!
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Feelings are a part of everyday life for children.
They have a wide range of feelings and emotions that they experience, from big feelings to small ones.
Have you practiced not taking them personally?
Tune into this episode to hear more about how to be with all the big feelings!
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We came into the world helpless and totally dependent on our caregivers to attend to our young needs. Each time we reached out our precious young arms we were met with either a tender loving smile and our vulnerable needs were met or our caregiver turned away claiming we were too demanding and taught us to take care of ourselves before we were ready.
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how to be with needs and desires.
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The holiday season is now in full swing. The decorations, the shopping, the family gatherings, and celebrations. It’s a wonderful time of year! But it can also be stressful, especially visiting family. Choosing to parent your children differently than how you were parented can be a stress point when going home for the holiday.
Tune in to this episode for some Purejoy support all about it!
www.purejoyparenting.com
If reading this I KNOW you are seeking to create an environment for your children to feel loved and supported in living into their brilliance. We have a strong desire to offer them unconditional love and an environment different than what we grew up in and yet at the same time question our parenting since it looks so different than how we were raised. Where does our humanness come into play? www.purejoyparenting.com
Do you ever hear yourself saying to your kids, “You need to…..” Maybe, it's cleaning their room, or eating their vegetables….homework anyone? Of course, you need your child to do what they are supposed to do, right? And yet, when you refuse to take responsibility for it being your need, not your child's you are giving them a mixed message. Tune into this episode for more support in owning your own needs. www.purejoyparenting.com
Do you believe you know what is best for your child?
I know, I sure did. The parenting paradigm most of us were exposed to carries this view. The limitation of this view is that we find ourselves projecting onto our children the experiences we had which parallel theirs.
Tune into this episode to hear more about healthy separation.
www.purejoyparenting.com
In conscious parenting, the message we often hear is - connect, connect, connect.
And yet, rarely do we hear about the importance of healthy separation in our relationships with our children.
Tune into this episode to get some support with healthy separation in your parenting.
www.purejoyparenting.com
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Do you experience happiness emanating from inside and spreading out or coming from the outside and spreading in?
Most of us were trained to attach happiness to an external event.
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about happiness as an internal experience.
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Have you noticed how transitions can be both exciting and scary? Settling into a rhythm, a pattern, or a way of being feels safe and secure, and yet in the river of life, there is always a flow. Children are constantly shifting and changing as they grow and develop. And yet, it is easy as parents to crystallize our view coming to a conclusion about who our children are or are not.
Tune into this week's episode as we talk about transitions! www.purejoyparenting.com
Ever feel misunderstood and judged by the way you parent? Do others think you are permissive and question your style? If others are not interested in hearing how you parent and, out of their discomfort, keep telling you how “wrong” you are for messing up your child, do you listen? Tune into this week's episode to hear more about coming together in a new culture of parenting.
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In my parenting, the number 1 challenge I experience is holding onto unrealistic expectations. Right? Do you remember before you had your first child? What were your fantasies? Your expectations on yourself?
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about what to do with expectations!
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Seeing what your child is actually doing instead of focusing and believing they are ONLY doing the negative sends a message to your child that they are a whole human being experiencing positive and negative. If you focus only on the negative your child is hearing over and over they have a deficit which becomes their internal self-talk.
The more balanced you see a situation the less emotionally charged you’ll be when supporting your child in learning skill sets that will support their growth.
Tune into this week's episode to hear more!
www.purejoyparenting.com
As a parent, it is easy, to think what you believe is “right” casting your child as in the “wrong”. When this happens righteousness pops up defending and justifying your actions of pushing, pulling, or forcing your child to live into your high values. I’m here to offer you another way of seeing. What if thinking you are right is just your first STOP on the elevator down to connecting with reality?
Tune into this episode to find out what might be possible! www.purejoyparenting.com
Synchronicity in parenting is the occurrence of meaningful coincidences that seem to have no cause. Tapping into this field offers a different lens to view certain situations and to enter a realm out of the ordinary. Have you ever thought of someone and you end up running into them at the store? Hmmmmm! What is that?
Tune into this week's episode to hear all about it!
When I adopted my daughter I was SURE I had it all together. I was going to be the best parent in the world and I was READY for my mission. So, when I found myself in the weeds struggling to get my 4-year-old to listen, I noticed that I was withdrawing love and protecting my heart. This led to a deep inquiry about what was going on inside my heart and why did I feel the need to protect it from this beautiful being that I so longed to give my heart to?
Tune into this week's episode to hear more about open-hearted relating.
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I learned when my daughter was young, I realized I had to be willing to see through her eyes.
When I began to do this, things looked very, very different.
My daughter is more of a present-moment child. She doesn’t focus on the future.
Dropping into this practice has given me a life full of inspiration- tune into this episode to learn how you might be able to do the same!
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Have you ever considered the intense pressure your child feels to meet your needs? If not, let’s take a little time to explore.
"You need to eat your food, you need to put on your shoes, you need to do your homework, You need to get off the computer, You need to do your chores, You need to hurry up, You need to listen to me…..”
And yet, what if you actually owned that these are your needs?
Join me in this episode and we can look into what it might be like to own your needs!
www.purejoyparenting.com
I never thought of myself as an arrogant person. Honestly, I had quite the judgment about folks I perceived as arrogant. Then I became a parent! YIKES. Arrogance showed up quickly and furiously when my daughter didn’t behave in ways that supported my idea of being a “good” mother. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about my journey to discover more about what was under all of that! www.purejoyparenting.com
Do you ever think your child didn’t come with an instruction manual? Well, what if they did and yet you aren’t interested in reading it? Why would this be?
In my experience, my parenting manual (conscious loving mother) often gave contradictory instructions to her innate knowing and instructions.
Determined to follow mine I often felt like I was trying to put a round peg in a square hole. It was painful for both.
Tune into this episode to deepen in how you can start reading your child's instruction manual.
www.purejoyparenting.com
When your child doesn’t listen, won’t get in the car seat when you ask nicely, or won’t get ready to leave the house what happens inside you? Does it feel like an emotional threat? Do you feel anger? Most parents express how frustrated they are especially since their children should KNOW what to do. Tune into this week's episode and let's dive a little deeper! www.purejoyparenting.com
I have a saying that goes, “It’s never about what you think it is about”. What I mean by this is it’s never about the computer use, or the food, or even the homework. I know, I know. It sure seems like it is about those things, yes? Tune into this episode to hear more about this saying and how it can support you to be more present with your child. www.purejoyparenting.com
Underneath the wall of rage, we walked through last week, are early, early feelings of abandonment, rejection, powerless, and helplessness. These are the precious feeling jewels you stored away as a young child believing they were somehow dangerous since when expressing them through your behavior you were punished or shamed. In this week's episode, I'll be sharing with you what it's like to embrace those tender feelings you find beyond your rage. www.purejoyparenting.com
RAGE is a terrifying emotion to turn towards with kindness. RAGE, in my family, was explosive and volatile and often expressed in destructive ways. Having experienced the destructive behavior of a raging mom I organized my life to never feel this powerful emotion out of an imagined fear that I would behave like her. Tune into this week's episode to hear more about how I learned to walk with rage, and what that supported in my relationship with my daughter. www.purejoyparenting.com
Do you ever get frustrated with your kids when they refuse to do chores?
Most parents I meet have a belief that chores are important skill sets for kids to learn.
And yet, they often push, pull, threaten, shame or force their children to do them.
Sound familiar?
Tune into this episode to learn a secret I've discovered to turn this around!
www.purejoyparenting.com
In all my years, I’ve struggled with what I’m now calling “finishing the moment”. Starting something new, I leave a trail of dust behind in my wake for I’m constantly onto the next shiny object in the distance. Rarely, do I finish the moment I’m actually experiencing. In my parenting, this shows up when my daughter is sharing a story about her experience. Instead of listening and opening to staying in the moment, with curiosity, I project her into the future and start talking to her as if she is actually there. Tune into this episode to hear more about Finishing the Moment www.purejoyparenting.com
After years of therapy and spiritual practice, I was sure I had the skills to be the parent I longed to be. I pictured myself as a BIG open expansive heart energy surrounding my child supporting her to express her heart. My visions filled me with delight and supported traveling halfway around the world to adopt my daughter from China. One of my friends looked at me and said, “what a noble act of humanity” and yet the truth is the noble act was on my daughter’s part. She came back for me. Little did I know I would be faced with all my attachments lingering deep in the corners of my conditioning. Tune into this week's episode of Parenting Paused to hear more about how I worked with the beliefs I was attached to. www.purejoyparenting.com
Over and over again, one of the main things I practice in my life, and especially in my parenting, is the counter instinctual move toward my uncomfortable feelings instead of away from them. Of course, as a child, none of us were able to tolerate the intensity in our little bodies when big feelings with big sensations arose. Tune into today's episode to explore with me how to begin working with these intensities with your adult body. www.purejoyparenting.com
When your child comes to you and asks you if they can do something, or when they look to you when they're about to do something, do you ever feel like you're giving them permission?
This week inside this episode I want to share with you a different approach to what might actually be happening when you perceive that your child is asking you for permission!
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I've had many experiences in my life, some joyful, others painful, and a whole wide range in between. Mothering, in all its ups and downs, has been the most profound experience and continues to be so. Little did I know what lay ahead when I traveled to China 21 years ago to adopt my daughter. I honestly thought- 'I am so ready for this experience. I've done my work and now I can show up as the BEST mom in the world.' Looking back I see how naive I was about the road ahead of me, and yet my heart led the way. That BIG Heart was calling me into a deeper, more profound experience in life. I can imagine you know what I'm talking about. When the Heart calls, you listen. More about parenting from my Heart inside this episode. www.purejoyparenting.com
Lots of parents ask me, how do I set boundaries with my child? It is a HUGE topic and one I've chosen to explore from my internal experience. Early on I saw how much easier it was to bind my daughter and her behavior than to take responsibility for setting my healthy boundaries. The question entered my mind: What if I don't need to bind and limit her? Join me in this episode to hear more about what that looked like. www.purejoyparenting.com
Frequently, we hear how important it is to parent from the present moment. This is extremely challenging as our conditioning has trained us to manipulate experience to achieve a particular future outcome. Our children learn this also. We often call them manipulators because when they have a fantasy of some future goodie they desire, they will, for sure, manipulate the environment, the world, your mind, everything, to get what they want! How is that for you? Tune into this episode as we look a little closer at being in the present moment. www.purejoypareinting.com
I once read about a study measuring and comparing the energies of fear and excitement in the body. The researchers found out fear and excitement measured as exactly the same energetic charge. The difference was the story people were telling themselves about the charge. When my daughter was younger I constantly felt overly responsible and exhausted. Being the curious being that I am I checked out if this story was true in my SafeSeat. Releasing the story and simply feeling the energy in my body brought great insight. More on this inside Episode 74! www.purejoyparenting.com
When the “world” is telling you they are right and you are wrong, the urge to defend and justify yourself is strong. To reverse what is coming at you, desperately you cast others in the wrong and yourself in the right. If you are feeling this way, try this: going deeply inside ask yourself what is my BIG “Why”? - why do I feel compelled to parent this way? Release the outside voices, tapping into your wisdom to deeply find your "Why". More on this topic inside the episode. www.purjeoyparenting.com
In your family, were you taught that "wants" were demanding? Was it safer to appear self-reliant and independent? If so, you grew up trying to quell your wants and learned to take care of others while repressing your own. Self-reliance and independence are highly valued in our culture. I received a lot of strokes in my family for taking care of myself. It wasn't as if my wants disappeared. They went underground, as the strategy I was trained to value, of always taking care of others, came to the foreground. Tune in to hear about a different way to be with wants! www.purejoyparenting.com
It's an emotional skill to be present with your child as they experience their emotional waves without trying to rescue them.
The waves are the content of what is happening within the context of discovering who they are in their life, the ocean. The way emotional waves work is they first arise as sensation and feeling, then as story, and then finally behavior.
Likely, you weren't taught the art of riding your emotional waves so it is challenging to ride your child's. Most of us were taught to control them, especially when they manifested in “acting out” behavior. In parenting, we generally concentrate our energy on the “acting out” part.
www.purejoyparenting.com
Parenting is a skill-based job on the practical level. We actually have to change the diapers, feed them food, drive them here or there, and we also show our children certain skill sets that will help them along. It makes sense that we would need emotional skills also and yet where do we learn these? Tune into this episode for more about growing up emotionally. www.purejoyparenting.com
Have you heard the term emotional intelligence? When I was growing up I learned to prize the values of mental intelligence- especially as academic, and even physical intelligence or prowess, and yet was taught very little about emotional intelligence. Becoming a parent, however, revealed to me that emotional intelligence was something I was sorely lacking. In this episode I offer some support on how it is possible to emotionally grow up! www.purejoyparenting.com
As a parent, are you ever confused by the advice of the 'experts'? I know I sure was! Even though I was so clear that focusing on my own internal experience was the path for me, I still had this secret hope that somehow my child’s behavior would change. Ha! On a deep intuitive level, I knew that going inside was for my well-being, and not to get my child to behave, and in hindsight, I can see how that realization took time to develop. Honestly looking at my motivation was eye-opening. It wasn’t so much about my daughter, what I found out was that that I didn’t want to be my mom. Tune in more to learn a new way to understand your own limitations and how to set some healthy boundaries! http://www.purejoyparenting.com
Picture yourself tired, hungry, or worried, sharing your angst with a spouse or a friend and they start trying to fix or change you with their agenda. How do you behave? Do your words come out kindly. Perhaps you even say things you actually don't mean trying to get them to back-off. You've descended into what Dan Siegel calls the downstairs brain, or the amygdala, as opposed to acting from the more rational “upstairs” brain. Expressing from the primal brain is signally a threatened state. Your words are the weapons used to take out the perceived threat.
Tune into this episode for more!
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Clearly, when facing reality I recognize parenting is often challenging and messy, and yet there is still this little niggly fantasy that at some point I'll transcend the pain and glide through life feeling peaceful and loving. My attachment to pleasure over pain gets me and I find myself circling back around to controlling my daughter. Do you have these fantasies? Tune into this episode for support in working with them. Visit Purejoy to sign up for the Free SafeSeat Course!
Conditioning through our upbringing and culture is a given. Unconsciously we take the deep divisions and dislikes we feel inside and about ourselves projecting them outwards, especially onto our children. Projecting my stuff onto my daughter, she becomes the location of the disliked parts in me. When I perceive something is "wrong" with her I believe I am helping her if I can work to change her behavior. The truth though is I've been conditioned to believe I am "wrong" when I perceive that behavior inside myself. I've seen myself through the foggy glasses and therefore take out my pain on my daughter. Visit the Purejoy website for more!
Do you ever find it hard to let go of control? I didn’t fully experience how controlling I am until becoming a parent. Have you noticed this as being true? Loving the feeling of being in control, naturally, I have a daughter who mirrors the same. Control battles ensued when either of us felt emotionally threatened. Getting into a dogmatic attitude of ‘my way or the highway’ triggered her big time. Of course, there was a benefit to my controlling stance for she got to practice her inner strength fighting and trying to get control back. The drawback was I wasn't living in reality and was projecting my past onto the present. I was believing my early conclusion that I wouldn't be OK if I wasn't in control. Visit the Purejoy Website to learn the SafeSeat practice!
Do these words sound familiar? “I can’t let my kid….” As in "I can't let my kid stay on the computer for hours”, “do her homework while listening to podcasts”, “eat only pasta seven days a week”. Going to that place, which we all do, of looking at the reality of what is and then making a judgment about it happens in an instant. But those moments I think “I can’t let my daughter stay on the computer all day”, she IS on the computer. That is the reality. Tune into this episode to hear how to meet your child where they are. Visit the Purejoy Parenting website for more support!
When feeling discomfort in relation to your child - they are on the computer too long, you won't get to be on time, or they refuse to eat your well-balanced meal - lean into and underneath the discomfort. Instead of feeding the mental ideal of how things are supposed to go, take a moment to put yourself in your child's position. How would you behave if you were totally immersed in something - your work or even a movie - and your child walks in, demanding you to stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW, telling you in so many words that you are a disappointment if you don't. What happens inside? Would you feel like cooperating in meeting their needs? Tune into this episode for more on Trying To Do It Right! www.purejoyparenting.com
Creating a gratitude practice is BIG in the conscious parenting world, yet in reflecting on my early training in when to express gratitude, it felt more like an obligation. Someone gave me a gift, or did something for me and whether I liked it or not I was expected to say "thank you". It became a learned habit rather than a wellspring of true feeling. I was also trained to only value and be grateful for what was deemed “positive” and reject and demean what was perceived as “negative” by others. In recent years I've experienced another kind of gratitude. As I seek equilibration in my being, including both sides of every experience, the positive and negative. I experience acceptance and appreciation for the totality of what is. Visit the purejoy website to download a free copy of the Safeseat
Hearing the word innocence in adulthood, what comes up? I imagine a curiosity, experiencing everything for the first time, innocent from conclusions or the meaning of anything. Looking through my conditioned adult lens I imagine acting childish and relinquishing responsibility for being a good parent. Negating the innocent seeing that is still available from my true self, I see through the lens of "right" or "wrong". My early history, my parenting template, and the hordes of books I read led to judgments and ideas about how, who, where, and when my daughter should be or not be. Instead of innocence, I saw manipulative and threatening behavior. Tune in to this episode to hear more! www.purejoyparenting.com
In my experience, it takes some courage to change old strategies. It is counter instinctual to go back into those very intense feelings that as a child I had worked so hard to get away from.
But also I recognize I must have stability in myself if I want to offer it to my child. That's why I created the Safe Seat process. If you don't know what that is, go to my website, purejoyparenting.com
Next time you hear a judgy thought, especially about your child's behavior, see what happens if you stop fueling the storyline. Take the judgment inside and be with it. Offer it kindness. Inquire. My question to myself is, "do you need to feel right in this moment? What might happen if you open your curiosity to why she acted that way instead of going to your judgment that you are right and she is wrong? Opening my heart supports questioning my judgments that are creating a barrier between my heart and my child. Tune into this episode to hear more about my deep inquiry journey with judgment! Visit Purejoy on the web!
My concept of time tends to be very linear. One step leads to the next, to the next. When I need to be somewhere I start marking out my steps so I can get to where I am going on time. However it was clear from a very young age, my daughter didn’t live in a linear time as I did. She had her own sense of time and space, based more in the present moment. It drove me crazy!
Tune into this episode to explore Stepping Out of Time!
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Am I willing to see when my child is defiant and resistant, that there's something in their interior landscape that's distressing, and it may have to do with me and how I'm choosing to be with them? When my daughter expresses intense resistance, I PAUSE and check inside asking: where am I parenting from? Nine times out of ten, I'm parenting from my thoughts, from an agenda. I am refusing to be intimate with the moment. I forget to listen to the amazing, intuitive wisdom that tells me first and foremost, to meet my daughter in her heart’s vulnerability. Tune into this episode to support tuning into your heart! Visit Purejoy to download the free Safeseat email course!
Stories are a big part of our parenting journey. So many stories, ideas, beliefs, fantasies, nightmares, so much of our parenting journey is made up of stories. And most of the time, those stories are about the past. Or they're about the future. I don't know about you, but, oh, my gosh, when my child was young and had behaviors that were scary, I projected way out into the future of how she wasn't functioning or she was living at home forever or worst of all wasn't working and was dependent on ME! Tune into this week's podcast to hear more! www.purejoyparenting.com
Do you ever feel like you want to give up? Runaway, disappear, just give it all up in your parenting. Well, if you do, it's OK. It's important to see this desire as a messenger, not a destroyer. If you hear yourself saying, "I can't do this anymore" take heart. It's an opportunity to ask yourself what ways am I being that aren't working any longer? Am I giving too much and refusing to receive? Am I positioning as a victim? Am I using control instead of connection to get my needs met? http://www.purejoyparenting.com
Truly Listening to our children can be a challenge! Often when they are sharing their hearts - we jump ahead to what our response will be and stop listening to what is being said. What would it be like to suspend your judgment and say "tell me more?" Opening your heart to seeing, hearing, and understanding the feelings without coming to a conclusion about the story is an empowered movement. In this episode, I'll encourage you to try something a little different! www.purejoyparenting.com
As strange as it sounds, I almost forgot to become a mama this lifetime! It was a deep inexplicable calling that finally led me to take the courageous step of adopting my daughter as a single mom. I still remember the exact moment they placed my precious daughter in my arms. What a GIFT! Tune in to hear more of this story and explore the power of the gift our children bring. http://www.purejoyparenting.com
I don't know about you- but when I became a parent I was SURE I was going to be easy-going, relaxed, and fun! What actually happened was I tried to control all sorts of things! Food, screens, taking a walk. Not very much fun for my daughter. As I turned inward I met a rigidity and fear which led to my controlling behavior. No wonder I needed to control. Tune in and explore this topic while learning an exercise that will support you along the way. http://www.purejoyparenting.com
Empathy! Compassion! Such big words expected in parenting these days! Are you challenged understanding how these concepts come into your daily parenting practice. The books make it sound so lovely and easy. Yet, as a child, if you weren't offered compassion when expressing your big feelings it is challenging to offer this to your child and even more so to yourself. Tune in to hear Purejoy's view on embodying these concepts in your parenting now. http://www.purejoyparenting.com
Do you experience resistance as you step into new parenting practices? Is that resistance coming from your head or your heart? Your mind is filled with information and yet can be in conflict with your actual heart experience. Tune into this episode to meet yourself right where you are, offering kindness while opening to parenting from the heart. Learn the SafeSeat practice at http://www.purejoyparenting.com
Sounds like a wonderful conscious idea? Right? I don't know about you, but it sounded so lovely and I was determined to make it happen. In reality most of the time I was thinking about the future, how things might end up - a beautiful fantasy or nightmare. Or, I would pull on the past relying on the information from my conditioning. Both of these scenarios took me out of the moment! Tune in to hear how to support yourself to show up in the present moment in your parenting. Learn the SafeSeat practice at http://www.purejoyparenting.com
Where do your parenting strategies come from? Who are the experts? In parenting, oftentimes, it's easy to get confused and misdirected on who to trust. It's hard to be confident in your knowing. What if you could fully trust yourself? It's really hard to do- and there's a good reason why. Tune into this episode to learn how to be in the moment in your parenting, working with emotions, and yet not letting them run the show. Download the SafeSeat practice at http://www.purejoyparenting.com
How many times a week do you change a diaper? How many times a week do you give your kids a ride? How many times a week do you cook? Do the dishes? Support schoolwork? When and where do your needs get met? Of course, these are the tasks that come along with parenting and yet it can feel like a lot! You might even wonder? - Is THIS what I signed up for? What was I thinking? And on a deeper level, the question might be - what's in it for me? And what happens when these tedious tasks seem to be driving the ship? In this episode, I'll share my 'secret sauce' supporting you to include yourself in the mix. www.purejoyparenting.com
Children are by nature embodied. They experience the world through the five senses without thinking much about it. When something comes up that registers as pain or displeasure they act out through their bodies. As a child, so did you- it is developmentally appropriate. If you were punished or consequenced for your behavior instead of supported to stay embodied you'll struggle when your child acts out their behavior. Tune into this episode to hear more about ways to stay embodied when you experience pain or displeasure in your parenting. Learn more about the SafeSeat here.
Are you hard on yourself when you yell at your child? Do you beat yourself up if you forget to do what you promised? What stories do you tell yourself when you don't live up to your expectations? Oftentimes, especially in parenting, it's easy to get caught in a spiral of vulnerable feelings that lead to BIG REACTIVE BEHAVIORS. The secret ingredient in turning these patterns around is Kindness, first for yourself, and then for the kiddos! In this episode, we explore what it might look like to turn towards your vulnerability with kindness. Learn the SafeSeat Practice here
Do you feel at times that everything is up to you? Getting school work done? Getting the house in order? Managing the kid's schedules, feelings, meals? My guess is that when you’re nailing it you feel amazing! Right? But then what happens when you’re not getting it all done? Where is your support? How do you get support? Is it ok to get support? Let’s find out some answers to these questions as we explore how you can get some support! www.purejoyparenting.com
What if feelings of rage and judgment are protections for the younger more vulnerable one in you? Are you willing to go into your anger, or your judgment and find out what is behind them? It can be so hard to do that because we have been heavily conditioned to be one thing or another and we needed these strategies to feel safe with our caretakers. What if your precious vulnerability is hiding just behind those very powerful feelings? It’s quite possible. Find out why inside this episode and learn how to be with your tender vulnerability in the SafeSeat. If you want to learn more about the SafeSeat practice follow the link here- Learn The SafeSeat
Is disappointment a daily part of your parenting journey?
Do you work hard to take care of everyone- only to find yourself at the end of the day feeling like nothing went right?
Disappointment can feel heavy and lead to depression especially when you identify that you are a disappointment.
In this episode, you'll discover a way to ride the waves of disappointment while offering kindness to yourself and your children.
www.purejoyparenting.com
Do you wake up every day wondering how you’re going to get your TO DO's done?
Do you sometimes wonder if you're enough or how this is all supposed to make sense?
In this episode, you'll be supported to notice what parts of YOU could use some TLC?
A little tenderness here and there can go a long way!
www.purejoyparenting.com
Rage is one of the biggest issues I hear from parents.
It is defined as violent, uncontrollable anger.
I don’t know about you- but I was a master of controlling and repressing anger until I wasn’t.
I grew up with a raging Mom so organized my adult life to never feel rage in my relationships.
In this podcast, I share my breakthrough and how turning towards rage broke something loose- something more true to who I am, especially in my parenting.
If you’re not sure where to head with your rage- tune into this episode for support.
www.purejoyparenting.com
How do you connect with your kiddo around their day?
Do you hear their sharing as complaining or venting?
Do you know the difference between the two?
It makes a HUGE difference in how you respond.
In this episode of Parenting Paused I share how to recognize the difference and to support yourself and your child is being seen, heard, and understood.
Are you a fan of attachment parenting? It can feel yummy to always be there for your kiddo- being available to them and making sure all their needs are met on demand. In this episode, we explore the other side of attachment - healthy separation. It's the missing piece!
Do you know how to healthily separate from your child?
Do you know how to take responsibility for your boundaries and feelings?
Check it out inside this episode!
Do you feel like your kids are after you? Like you’re walking on egg shells or tip toeing around their big feelings?
If so- you may be positioned as a victim and there are some compelling reasons why. Most likely you were trained to look outside yourself to make sure everything was ok and you were in fact a victim of your circumstances.
Tune in to this episode of Parenting Paused to discover how you can turn this dynamic around and experience Purejoy in your parenting.
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Did you feel like you KNEW how to parent and was surprised when you realized you didn't? In this podcast you'll learn how embrace parenting as a path of discovery instead of knowing.
If you didn't get your needs met as a child you may have the tendency to engulf your child. In your desire to "repair" what happened to you, you may project onto your child they have the same needs as you. Listen in to how you can create healthy separation in your relationship with your child.
What lens do you look through as a parent? When your child acts out is it about you or is it about your child? In this episode I share what it looks like to see through the Purejoy lens.
It’s hard to honor your child if you weren’t honored in your own family. If you are going to truly honor your child, you'll have to honor ALL of you as well. Each day, take a tiny steps towards loving all the parts of you that you hid away in order to be more acceptable to your parents. Welcome them home and offer them a seat at the table.
As a child if you weren't supported to express your needs directly you learned to be sneaky to get them met. We pass down our early strategies to our children. In this episode you'll learn how to make your needs more direct and important.
Moving from head to heart can be challenging since as children we construct barriers to protect core vulnerabilities. Our children awaken the heart and the opportunity is to turn back reclaiming the precious part of your being. Happily Family Conference: https://conference.happilyfamily.com/?orid=47949&opid=21
Often in parenting we run into the belief that if we can fix everything our kids will turn out perfect. Remembering, our kids are not broken, just messy little humans, can lead us back to the ever present happiness in the moment. https://conference.happilyfamily.com/?orid=47949&opid=21
We all want to be more conscious in our parenting and yet during times of stress we can end up regressing into old behaviors of blaming and complaining about our children. Learn how to work with yourself and your child when regressive behavior shows up in your home.
Growing ourselves up and taking responsibility for being the adult in our relationship with our child creates emotional safety. Find out what it looks like to step up, opening to your vulnerability while learning to SafeSeat.
When does caring for yourself cross the line into self-indulgence? You might be surprised by the answer to this question from the Purejoy view.
Finding the courage to step out of your agenda which is all about you, offers a glimpse of an open space in which curiosity awakens.
Ever wake up feeling fine and the minute you walk into your child’s room, and they are in a bad mood you get stressed? You caught the “feelings” hot potato.
Nick and Remy sought me out determined to find a way to connect with their teen in a loving way. Their traditional methods were driving a wedge between them and their daughter. As they turned back in focusing on relationship they courageously took responsibility for their part in the dynamic reconnecting with their daughter in a powerful way.
Nina joins me to share how trapped she felt by her son's needs. As she began to understand how to set healthy personal boundaries she began to honor herself and miraculously it made room for her son to show up in a new way.
Maryrose shares how she began to recognize her repressed material as it began to awaken in her relationship with her child. Especially in public, she was surprised by her reactions and slowly began to turn inside to attend to her intense feelings. Being a people pleaser she began to see how she oriented towards other adults perceptions instead of showing up for her son.
Kate found herself challenged by her precocious son and perceived him as the enemy. She found herself conflicted between wanting to raise her son to be strong and stand up for himself and yet not to her. Listen in as she talks about making room for mistakes in her parenting.
Gillian worked hard to create a conscious loving environment for her girls to thrive and yet her fear of letting go of control was overwhelming. As she began to meet her fear with kindness her relationship with her daughters began to shift in magical ways.
Nisansala was raised in a more traditional authoritarian home so she found herself falling into old familiar patterns in her parenting which reminded her of early childhood. In her desire to be more conscious she found herself challenging her background and finding out her feelings were ok and not something to repress and keep inside.
Sonali tried every technique she could to get her sons aggressive behavior in check and yet it always failed. Join us to hear her quest to find a way to connect with her son which led her to a surprising connection with herself.
Listen in as Teresa shares her challenging journey of understanding and taking responsibility for her part in the dynamic with her children. When their behavior crossed the line she found all her traditional parenting techniques flew out the window and the only way through was to turn inside putting her oxygen mask on first.
Robin had a HUGE fantasy she could change her history by being a conscious loving mom. What she didn't expect were the intense feelings which arose when her son wouldn't conform. Little did she know she would be looking in the mirror and facing into her early childhood and all the behaviors which triggered her early pain.
Robyn wanted to be a mom as young as a teen and found her way to be one through adopting her son as a single mom. As she faced into the loss of her fantasy of everything being lollipops and unicorns she learned to navigate through a rocky terrain as she had to face into her own trauma which was triggered by her sons.
No matter what Lisa did to "fix" the problem of her daughter's sensitivity it only got worse. When she felt responsible for her daughter's experience she beat herself up for not being able to hear her cry. Listen in as she shares her experience of slowly beginning to hear the call of her hidden sensitivity, rocking her world and the way she parents.
In this episode, Mei shares how challenging her early childhood was being raised in a traditional punitive home. Even though she had a desire to create a safe home for her son to express his feelings she found herself acting out her early strategies of control and punishment.