Simply Separated Podcast: Recent Episodes
Cassandra Kalpaxis
In this ‘Simply Separated’ Podcast Series we will discuss alternate options from the traditional litigious avenue of divorce. Our goal is to change the way that people view divorce and the way that we, as family lawyers, advise them in this process.
In this series we will speak to a number of experts including a Naturopath, Journalist, Clinical Psychologists, Barristers, Mediators, as well as Family and Child counsellors just to name a few.
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Lenore Pearson, author, transformational coach and holistic counsellor.
In this episode we talk about:
- Lenore is a wife and mum three kids, a wholistic counsellor and meditation therapist.
- Lenore shares how she came to be in her profession after her own personal struggles in life.
- Lenore’s saw an unrecognisable version of herself and went looking for answers.
- Lenore’s book, ‘Self Ashored’, shows us the importance of knowing ourselves first.
- Transformational Coaching works through three elements - Mastery, Alignment and Rebellion.
- Keeping alignment with your Core Values when making decisions.
- Lenore’s three biggest learnings from the past 2 years.
- Wholistic counselling and meditation.
- If we are not aware of it, fear can easily take over the driving seat of our lives.
- True fear triggers our stress response, but false fear manifests as anxiety and worry.
- The importance of meditation and Lenore’s tips for breathing to relieve stress responses.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Lenore Pearson.
Links:
Lenore Pearson
Lenore’s Instagram
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In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Mitch Ping from Mitch Ping Coaching.
In this episode we talk about:
- How Mitch came to be a high-performance coach.
- Mitch’s personal experience of making a mindset shift and how he encourages others to do the same.
- “The things that you run away from are the things you run into”
- Mitch’s perspective on goals and how we can clarify them
- Mitch’s top mindfulness tips.
- We all live based on a set of values. Knowing your individual values is important.
- “Wake up and do the thing that you like first” - motivation tip from Mitch.
- The soccer (or football) analogy and its correlation to separation.
- Be clear on what you want in a relationship and what you would don’t
- Write down the disadvantages of what you want and what you don’t want to bring clarity to your choices.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Mitch Ping.
Links:
Mitch Ping Coaching
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from financial advisor Alison Kaigan from Square Blue.
In this episode we talk about:
- Square Blue is a cashflow and saving program.
- Alison is passionate about helping others become financially independent.
- The cost, and process involved in using the Square Blue program.
- The use of Facebook to create a community of money savers.
- A day in the life of a financial advisor.
- In the context of separation, Alison gives her top 3 tips around money.
- Understand your possessions and knowing your numbers
- Considering insurance, death benefits and superannuation.
- Alison’s day to day advice for us saving money.
- We should all have a cash reserve of 3 months of spending.
- Alison encourages to have a regular savings plan.
- Bring clear on your future so you can save accordingly.
- Financial advice does not need to be complicated, but find someone you trust.
- Alison’s final word on saving and spending in the context of Separation.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Alison Kaigan.
Links:
Square Blue
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Australia's Leading Love and Relationship Expert, Dr Lurve.
In this episode we talk about:
- A day in the life of Dr Lurve.
- Dr Lurve’s niche is helping people overcome hurt quickly.
- After staring at a sex clinic, Dr Lurve found her passion for helping others in their relationships.
- The importance of connecting with ourselves when going through difficult relationships.
- The biggest challenges faced by separating parties.
- Dr Lurve explains how to navigate the stages of grief.
- The impact a messy separation has on children.
- Defining ‘cheating’ and the difference in boundaries we all have.
- Answering the question of - ‘How do I move on from this?’.
- Seeing the red flags in your relationship.
- Dr Lurve shares her experience with behaviour modification.
- The advantages of seeking help prior to legal separation proceedings.
- A psychologist can give a much-needed reality check on your relationships.
- Dr Lurve’s tips for recognising you are in a toxic relationship.
- The signs of abuse, including physical, emotional and psychological.
- The implications of staying in a toxic relationship.
- The danger in establishing a new normal and romanticising a toxic relationship.
- Dr lurve’s tips for finding a healthy relationship.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Dr Lurve.
Links:
Dr Lurve
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast we had the opportunity to hear from Barrister, Coach and Mediator, Louise Mathias.
In this episode we talk about:
- The meaning of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR).
- The significant of emotional intelligence and self-awareness in the separation process.
- When the amygdala side of our brain takes over.
- Working with Louise during a family Dispute Resolution (FDR).
- The differences between ADR, Mediation and FDR.
- Louise walks us through how the first session plays out.
- The importance of being herd, as a client, to reach a dispute resolution.
- Louise is a Barrister, however was drawn to ADR as the process aligns with her values.
- Louise’s time at Harvard University advancing her negotiation and conflict handling skills.
- The human element needs to be considered first and the law second.
- Our most powerful tool in a dispute resolution process.
- The role lawyers play in the language they use during a divorce settlement.
- The future for ADR and FDR.
- Louise’s tops tips for separating couples.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Louise Mathias.
Links:
Contact Louise Mathias
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from George Kapos who is Principal of McGrath's Bankstown office.
In this episode we talk about:
- George is the Principal and has been in the real-estate business for 22 years.
- The real-estate trends since COVID-19, compared to recent years.
- Buyers have pulled back so there is less competition but also not as many sellers.
- Adjusting life to accommodate the changes brought by COVID-19.
- Tips for selecting the correct Real-estate agent for your needs.
- Focus on process and strategy rather than commission comparisons.
- George explains market appraisals.
- The biggest mistakes separating couples make when selling an asset.
- Consider the market when selling a home.
- George’s predictions for the real-estate market in the upcoming months.
- Investment in property vs interest rates.
- George explains the cycle of real-estate and reminds us it is a long-term game.
- George give us insight into re-investing after COVID-19.
- Preparation is the key when looking to invest in real-estate.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with George Kapos.
Links:
Contact George Kapos
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Dr Aileen Alegado, Clinical Psychologist and owner of Mindset Psychology.
In this episode we talk about:
- Dr. Aileen focus’ on mental health in high performing professionals at Mindset Psychology.
- The stressors that are placed on lawyers and some tools we can use to improve ourselves.
- Sleep, diet and exercise are all key to good mental and physical health.
- Dr Aileen explains burnout and the impact it can have on our bodies.
- Noticing the symptoms of burnout in colleagues.
- Dr. Aileen is passionate about Positive Mindset Practices.
- Instilling positive messages and gratitude practices and all help in promoting a positive mindset.
- The fight or flight mechanism.
- The power of boundaries in our professional careers.
- Dr. Aileen shares the importance of being clear about the reason you are working.
- In order to do good work, you need to be ok first.
- Assertiveness communication as a method of conflict resolution.
- Both passive and aggressive communication are destructive to client relationships.
- Connection to clients is paramount to make them feel safe and herd.
- Dr Aileen shares her top three tips to foster and manage client relationships.
- The ‘Coping through COVID’ book Dr. Aileen has written.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Dr Aileen Alegado.
Links:
Dr Aileen Alegado
Mindset Psychology
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from the Parramatta Women's Shelter.
In this episode we talk about:
- Parramatta Women's Shelter and how Liz Scully came to be involved.
- The Role of the Parramatta Women's Shelter in the local community.
- Tania Smith shares what a day at the shelter looks like.
- 33 Women and Children are currently housed at the shelter.
- The application process.
- The additional strain women are experiencing during the Covid-19 pandemic.
- 40% reportable increase in domestic violence during COVID.
- Connecting to a Domestic Violence Hotline.
- At Parramatta Women's Shelter, you will be herd.
- The criteria for seeking Domestic Violence support.
- Homeless' is common with women who are coming through the Parramatta Women's Shelter.
- The list of items to bring with you when leaving a DV situation.
- The shelter is always looking for donations of gift vouchers.
- More than 1 in 2 women in the last year are turned away from crisis accommodation every night.
- Domestic violence is the number 1 cause of death in the age bracket of 15-44.
- Domestic Violence needs a community response and Tania asks us to speak up when we notice women in crisis.
- The shelter provides an inspirational, strong and caring environment.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with these two wonderful women.
Links:
Domestic Violence Hotline
Parramatta Women's Shelter
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Shelby Timmins from Divorce Done Differently.
In this episode we talk about:
- Divorce Done Differently focus’ on Mediation for separating families.
- The difference between being a family lawyer and a Mediator.
- Mediation gives Shelby a greater sense of helping families going through a separation.
- Shelby explains the process of Mediation.
- The myths and the advantages of Mediation.
- Shelby explains why the Litigious process (Court) is more restrictive than Mediation.
- Shelby is passionate about protecting both sides emotionally and mentally.
- Mediation is the best process for most separating couples as it is much more flexible.
- The effect of COVID-19 restrictions have had on the Mediation process.
- Shelby explains virtual break-out rooms and privacy during an online Mediation.
- Document drafting and why Mediation results in a document.
- Mediation can prepare Shelby’s clients for Court matters if unresolved.
- Shelby shares that Mediation is neutral, family-focused and cost-effective.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Shelby Timmins.
Links:
Divorce Done Differently
Shelby’s LinkedIn
- In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Emma Hamlin from Change Makers Press.
In this episode we talk about: - Emma’s book, ‘Change Makers’, a collection of stories written by Women speaking on transformation.
- Emma is passionate about the promotion of women and their stories.
- Emma’s shares her story of a difficult divorce, and how this experience created an appreciation of transformation.
- The stigma of divorce and how Emma managed this within her social networks.
- Following her separation, Emma struggled with both physical and mental health challenges.
- Publishing Company, ‘Change Maker Press’ was born out of Emma’s adversity and continues to grow.
- Emma’s focus has shifted to authenticity, honesty and openness.
- The importance of being true to yourself in all interactions – including divorce.
- Emma’s tips for the separation process when children are involved.
- Life following a divorce for Emma.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Emma Hamlin.
Links:
Purchase ‘Change Makers’ ebook from Amazon
Purchase ‘Change Makers’ Hardcopy
Emma’s LinkedIn
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Lucy from Head and Heart Estate Planning.
In this episode we talk about:
- Considerations parents need to make when starting the separation process in regards to Wills and Estates.
- Take the advice of your family lawyer and update your Will and Estate.
- Lucy uses an example of a previous client to show the importance of being prepared.
- Lucy explains that the Court only considers evidence, so being proactive in updating your evidence is essential.
- Lucy discusses Joint tenancy and Estate Planning.
- The format of a basic Will and busting some of the Myths
Explaining, in detail, to the Executor of your Will practical process’. - Lucy explains Legal Guardianship and the difference legally binding and wishes.
- The roles of an Executor vs a Legal Guardian and what they need to know about your children.
- Lucy shares multiple reasons why you would change your Will.
- The cost involved in Estate planning vs a day in Court
Lucy is Wise in her work, Happy in her family life and Kind in all other aspects of life.
Sit back and enjoy this important interview with Lucy Percy.
Links:
Head and Heart Estate Planning.
In this episode of the Simply Separated Podcast we had the opportunity to hear from Benjamin Goddard, general manager of ‘Holding Hands Family Services’. We discuss the practical process of attending a supervised parental visit as well as the emotional effects on all parties that is considered by Holding Hands Family Services.
In this episode we talk about:
The services that Holding Hands provides to families
- The importance of a child maintaining safe and supportive contact with both their parents.
- Benjamin explains that due to time separated from a parent, a child may have anxiety or concerns about seeing that parent.
- The role of a contact supervisor during a family meeting.
- Every family comes with their own narrative and is treated as such.
- Holding Hands works with both parents to set up meetings on neutral territory.
- Benjamin explains how the assigned contact supervisor builds a relationship with the child prior to any meetings.
- Cassandra shares some of the concerns she receives from her clients as a family lawyer.
- Holding Hands provides comprehensive visit reports following each meeting.
- Benjamin explains how visit locations are selected and the process of change over between parents to avoid contact.
- With current restrictions due to Covid-19, Benjamin explains the current process of online contact and what this looks like for parents and children.
- The minor details that are considered in video chats at the live-in parents’ home.
- Time is defined as contact and in an age of technology, we are able to keep contact throughout this unprecedented time.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Benjamin Goddard.
Links:
Holding Hands Family Services
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Mediator and Divorce Coach Anne-Marie Cade from Divorce Right. Anne-Marie’s point of difference is divorce coaching. This un-common approach is helpful to clients who need emotional support throughout the separation process.
In this episode we talk about:
- Anne-Marie explains the process of using a Divorce Coaching Service.
- Divorce coaching deals with the practical and emotional aspect of divorce.
- Anne-Marie teaches her clients to ‘Respond rather than React.’
- Understanding the process of divorce and the emotional impact it can have on individuals
- Anne-Marie encourages her clients to be aware of self-care and mindfulness
- Anne-Marie works with divorce lawyers as well as their clients to help them cope with the Divorce process.
- Parenting coordination is a dispute resolution process focused solely on children during separation.
- The best time to get in contact with a Divorce Coach.
- The advantage of working with a Divorce Coach as well as a Divorce Lawyer
- Divorce coaching is focused on the positive outcome, rather than the negative process
- Anne-Marie has seen the effect of the societal expectation of marriage and divorce on her clients
- The importance of communication throughout all aspects of the divorce process.
Sit back and enjoy this helpful interview with Divorce Coach Anne-Marie Cade.
Links:
Divorce Right
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, I had the pleasure of intervening my good friend Rachel Hempling. Rachel has just launched a new online product which de-mystifies the whole family law system.
In this episode we also spoke about:
- Rachel’s transition from a Barrister to a Family Law Mediator and why she was drawn to family law mediation.
- Rachel, in the last 18 months, has created an online course and she explains its benefits
- Rachel’s course address’ issues like shared parental holidays
- Online Mediation has become popular for Rachel’s clients as accessibility to services is more difficult for those living in regional areas
- Access and what to expect of Rachel’s online course
- Legal terms can be confusing and Rachel’s course helps define the process
- Online Mediation is new concept. It runs for 4 hours and Rachel explains the process for separating clients
- Shortcutting the process of Court, when appropriate, by using online and amicable solutions have become a passion for Rachel.
Sit back and enjoy this interview with Rachel Hempling
Links:
Contact Rachel Hempling
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Solicitor, ICL lawyer and Mediator Kelly Stanford. Kelly owns her own practice, Stanford Solicitors and Conveyancers. She has a passion for people and the law that affects them. In this helpful episode, Kelly talks us through the Mediation process as well as some tips for dealing with a Separation.
In this episode we also discuss:
- Kelly’s role in her legal practice
- What is involved in being a Mediator and why it is important
- Kelly explains her mantra of ‘Living separately but parenting together’.
- The cons of going to Court rather than pursuing mediation
- Kelly’s experience of working with clients in the court system
- Matters of the heart – parenting matters vs property matters
- The process of working with Kelly during a Mediation, from start to finish
- Kelly’s role in mediation and her tips for getting through this tough time
- The role of communication and listening in a mediation
- Kelly talks us through the average time it takes to complete a mediation
- The percentage of people happy with the outcome of a Mediation
- The importance of knowing family goals prior to a mediation.
Sit back and enjoy this informative episode with Kelly Stanford.
Links:
Contact Kelly Stanford
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from one of our own Solicitors here, at Kalpaxis Legal, Liam Chellin.
Liam is known as our court advocate with strong problem-solving qualities and analytical skills. The idea of going to be Court can be daunting so Liam talks us though what to expect, what is required of you and some tips for streamlining the process.
In this episode we talk about:
- Liam explains what is means to go to Court and how to manage our expectations of the Court system
- What can be expected at when sitting in a Courtroom
- Liam explains the term ICL (Independent Children’s Lawyer)
- Liam’s Role, as a Solicitor, when working through a Court matter
- Liam’s tips approaching a day in Court
- Attending Court is required for all those in the litigation process
- The do’s and do-not’s when attending Court
- Liam’s perspective on ‘winning’ at Court
- The effect that Court can have on both children and future parenting matters
- Here at Kalpaxis Legal we aim for ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution) and why Court should be avoided
Sit back and enjoy this informative episode with Liam Chellin
Links:
Contact Liam Chellin
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from clinical psychologist Gemma Cribb. Gemma has focused her clinical studies on being single and living the best single life following separation.
n this episode we talk about:
- Gemma is a clinical psychologist in the middle of the Sydney CBD
- Gemma noticed a trend of depression and anxiety around becoming single which motivated her study into the single mentality
- What it means to be single in the modern age
- Societal attitudes toward marriage and the pressures of getting married
- Gemma’s thoughts and perspective on divorce and separation
- Gemma offers advice around respect in relationships post separation
- The effect that social media pressures have had on modern relationships
- Gemma’s tips for overcoming social pressures and expectations of marriage and relationships
- Gemma’s recommended coping mechanisms during a relationship break-up
- Managing amicable and non-amicable situations
- Gemma’s three ‘do not do’s’ when going through a separation
- Where and when those separating should seek advice from a clinical psychologist
Sit back and enjoy this interesting episode with Gemma Cribb
Links:
Equilibrium Psychologists
Contact Gemma Cribb LinkedIn
Purchase Gemma’s Book ‘Doing Single Well’
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from family counsellor Alison Maltby. Alison shares practical tips on the separation process and how family or child counselling can help the separation run smoothly and amicably. Counselling during separation for families and children.
In this episode we talk about:
- Alison is an expert in Counselling, Family Dispute Resolution, Mediation and is also a child consultant
- Her passion in life has been to connect the family law sector to counselling services
- Alison’s focus over the last 4 years has been in the family dispute resolution and family Mediation and she has recently become Director of ‘Relating as Us’
- The pathway to counselling and Alison’s advice for those who have recently separated
- Alison is also a child counselling consultant and uses these skills to help parents find the best resolution pathway for children
- Grief and the impact it has on our decision making process during separation
- The effect of separation on a child and how Alison helps to give children a voice during the separation process
- The most common message from children, in Alison’s experience, in relation to parents separating
- The advantages of seeing a family counsellor and the step by step process
- Alison’s top three tips for those who are separating
- Domestic violence-related separations and how Alison handles such cases
- Alison explains the Section 60i certificate
- Alison’s advice around communicating with a previous spouse
Sit back and enjoy this informative episode with Alison Maltby
Links:
Family Law Pathways Network upcoming events
Relating as us
Connect with Alison Maltby
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Kellie Scott who is a Journalist for ABC Life. Kellie has had a personal experience with Separation and Divorce and shares not only her own experience but the social changes that she has seen as a journalist.
In this episode we talk about:
- Kellie Scott is a Journalist for ABC Life
- Kellie gives us her thoughts on divorce in our modern society
- The stigma attached to Divorce, especially for those separating after a few years of marriage
- Kellie’s experience of marriage breakdowns and the effect they have on us
- Kellie’s personal experience of divorce and the perception from society
- The way we perceive divorce in our current day and age compared to 20 years ago
- Kellie has written an article and shares some experiences from women she has interviewed
- Personal empowerment that Kellie has seen following separation and divorce
- Kellie’s perspective on how the broader community deals with divorce
- According to her research, Kellie has found that divorce can spark happiness and self-worth in some circumstances
Sit back and enjoy this interesting episode with Journalist Kellie Scott
Links:
Kellie Scott’s LinkedIn
ABC Life
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the opportunity to hear from Ange Sinclair who is a Naturopath at Digestive Detective.
In this episode we talk about:
- Ange is a Naturopath for the Digestive Detective and tells us how she came to be in this important area of health
- Naturopathy and what is involved in the day to day for Ange
- Ange explains how digestion can affect our day to day lives
- The fight or flight concept and the impact it can have on our health
- Self-care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.
- Ange is passionate about self-care and the direct correlation between our health and our emotional wellbeing
- How Naturopathy specifically, can help individuals going through separation and divorce
- Ange has seen the effect that sleep deprivation has on our bodies and gives tips to manage it
- Emotional stress and the effect it can have on sleep, pain and our mental health
- Ange’s practical advice for those who are going through stressful events
- Ange encourages everyone to speak to an accredited naturopath and gives us tips on what we can change now
- Mediation and its value not only when going through separation but in daily life
- Digestive Detective and the ways in which Ange can assist
Sit back and enjoy this interesting episode with Naturopath Ange Sinclair
Links:
Contact Ange Sinclair;
Digestive Detective or through Facebook
Welcome to the first introductory episode of the ‘Simply Separated Podcast’ hosted by Cassandra Kalpaxis, the Director of Kalpaxis Legal and our Principal Solicitor.
Cassandra grew up in a big Greek family where family was her first and foremost priority. Growing up in this environment developed her interest in the family unit and has driven her to help individuals navigate the divorce and separation process, which is usually a really difficult time in their lives.
In this ‘Simply Separated’ Podcast Series we will discuss alternate options from the traditional litigious avenue of divorce. Our goal is to change the way that people view divorce and the way that we, as family lawyers, advise them in this process. Separation and divorce do not need to be messy and Cassandra and her team will encourage couples to take a friendly and transparent approach to separation and hopefully allow them to remain friends in the process.
In this series, we will speak to a number of experts including a Naturopath, Journalist, Clinical Psychologists, Barristers, Mediators, as well as Family and Child counsellors just to name a few.
With these experts we will talk about:
- Viewing divorce holistically
- Changing the acrimonious approach to divorce
- Changing the way that society views separation and divorce
- Amicable separations and staying out of court with the goal of attending children
- Professional services available to smooth the process
- The effect of separation and divorce on children; and
- Looking after yourself during separation
We hope that you will enjoy this series.
Cassandra Kalpaxis
In this week’s episode of the Simply Separated Podcast, we had the pleasure of hearing from Louis Katsinas from 4Wentworth Chambers
In this episode we also spoke about:
- Louis has been a barrister for over 20 years
- Changes that Louis has seen throughout his career in Family Law
- Louis explains Collaborative Practice and Mediation
- A Barristers role in the separation process and what to expect from a barrister
- The difference between a Solicitor and a Barrister
- The way in which Barristers and Solicitors work together and actions that may be taken
- The benefits of engaging a barrister in a family law matter
- Louis’ involvement in Parenting matters and the process of engaging a barrister
- Property disputes and the role that Louis would typically partake in during both Litigation and Collaborative Practice platforms
- As a family law Barrister, Louis works in both the Federal Circuit Court and Federal Court of Australia
- Louis explains Collaborative Practice and his role in this process
- Louis’s advice for anyone going through a separation
- The importance of external advice from mediators, counsellors and medical professionals
Sit back and enjoy this interesting episode with Barrister Louis Katsinas
Links:
Contact Louis Katsinas