The Gray Podcast: Recent Episodes
Matt Agustin
Hi there, you beautiful humans! I’m Matt Agustin and I believe that meaningful conversations change the world. As I have been blessed to be surrounded by a community of thoughtful, good people with whom deep discussion is easily found, I want to share that gift with those craving purposeful dialogue. The Gray is a podcast for those who want more from their conversations and believe that depth can be found in literally any topic (yes, that even includes the weather!). Each week, I’ll bring in a guest or two with the hope that our discussion not only entertains but adds value to your life, whether that be in adding perspective on a topic, providing an example of new ways to engage with your loved ones, or simply giving you new questions to ponder. Consider this your invitation to join on this journey :)
Is there more out there than this?
I think the answer for many of us (myself included) is an emphatic "yes". But it can be so easy to never actually follow through on working to discover what else life can offer.
This episode talks about my friend, Carrie's, process thus far to discover what kind of life she can live. It isn't always pretty and uncertainty is par for the course, but that journey is worth the hardship.
There was an idea that really struck me from this episode and forced me to ask myself: Am I structuring my life around my work or am I structuring my work around my life?
At present, I am definitely doing more of the former, but what would it take to live a life like the latter?
Discussing that, the difference in work cultures in the US and the UK, identity that we find in our work, stance toward vacation, and more is what I discuss with my good friend, Craig. I hope you enjoy :)
Kacy has always wanted to be a mom, but the path there was not the easiest.
Now that she is a mom, she's doing it as intentionally as she can knowing that everything she does has an effect - for better or worse - on her daughter's development.
We talk about some fun things, some not so fun things, and a lot else in between. Enjoy :)
Building upon the foundation from part one, we dive deeply into Bryan's actual qualification process for the Boston Marathon. As he recounts his story, some of the topics we discuss are:
-Race day and no one owes you anything
-Turning a curse into a blessing by keeping proper perspective
-The mental aspect of the physical contest
-The fleeting mountaintop
Every journey starts somewhere and Bryan's running story begins with running 10 minute miles in a running class in college. Hard, consistent work over time led him to become a person that he never imagined he would be - someone who ran the Boston Marathon years later.
This first part of two sets the foundation to help understand where he started. It is a celebration of the beginning - the oft-forgotten path that is typically not as glamorized as the final achievement.
Knowing the overview of someone's story is much different than learning all of the details. With the former, you know about them. The latter allows you to start getting to know them.
My dear friend, Lilya, shared her story in today's episode. It spanned three different continents, consisted of two major moves, and showed a lot of details that, though we saw each other frequently during our college years, I never knew before.
Enjoy, my friends :)
This episode is part two of a two part conversation.
The death of a parent will be felt differently be each of us because are all on our unique journeys. We cannot judge how one person reacts as we do not know the full backstory of his/her life.
I appreciated very much Terence's openness of his experience with his mother. It was a difficult topic that allowed me to gain some very neat perspective - I hope it does the same for you, friend.
This is episode is part one of a two part conversation.
Many of us have ideas about how long we are going to live. Based on our lifestyle and genetics, coupled with statistics about average life expectancy, it is easy to think that we have a certain amount of guaranteed years.
But none of that is promised.
My guest Terence dealt with the loss of his mother last year. In this first part, we set the foundation for their relationship and how his life was affected by her mental illness.
In the second part, we discuss the aftermath of her death, his reflections from the event, and his outlook moving forward.
What is the default path of life? During this episode, we defined it as the path - depending on your community, family, and culture - that is expected of you. The path that, should you choose to follow, will not be questioned by those around you. It is typically "what everyone else is doing".
One deviation that today's guest, Tim, is taking from his default path is not having kids. Much of the conversation is based around that, but we end up discussing so much more.
Should you want to continue the conversation (or start one altogether), please do not hesitate to reach out to me via email (matt@thegraypod.com), through IG (@mattalbert94), or on Facebook.
Hope you have the best day ever :)
We start with the lessons of a learned family from Harry Potter.
We end with talking about ways to become better listeners.
In between, we talk about a wide array of topics from Jake's experience quitting his job to move to Argentina to some relatable scenes from The West Wing to not taking everything so seriously.
This was one of the conversations that wandered yet (hopefully) still connected in a coherent manner. We had a blast recording and I hope you enjoy listening :)
Some people hate their jobs and endure. Some people hate their jobs and do something about it.
Today's guest, Elle is certainly in the latter category and this episode is largely about her career change journey. Not only that, we discuss the best meal she's ever had, being good at something doesn't mean you need to monetize, and much more.
To read more about Elle's experience, check out her article below:
https://medium.com/the-ascent/how-i-navigated-a-career-change-59bcf40fe1b
If you enjoyed the episode, I would greatly appreciate if you shared it with one other person and rated it on Apple Podcasts. Those little bits do so much :)
This is the second episode of the two part conversation with Forrest.
Following the same theme of the inner journey that we are all taking, we get into topics such as Ikigai, the fleeing nature of emotions, lessons from the game of Monopoly, and many more.
We even ask this question of: Is the point of life to be happy?
I hope you listen in on the conversation and find something that you can take for your own life :)
How would you define your best self?
Answering this question and then taking the steps to get there is a short summary of this conversation.
Using the basis of my guest, Forrest's, journey of becoming his "2.0 self" we dive into specific topics of things he has seen along the way, including but not limited to:
-Doing one thing at a time instead of taking on all at once; after all, it is a long life
-Defining one's authentic self
-Pros and cons of streaks
-The solitude of the inner journey
Sometimes, we simply need to get out of our own head and out of our own way for some pretty neat stuff to happen
Brooks has started along that process with her coaching journey as she aims to simply this convoluted world of fitness so that others do not have to struggle as much as she did. In this episode, we start from the beginning to see her process up until this point.
To get in contact with Brooks regarding coaching and/or nutrition, you can find her at “sweat.simple” on Instagram.
Starting with a discussion on how Rosie keeps decisions her own despite the myriad, well-meaning advice and opinions from loved ones, we continue on to discuss the privilege that it is to have loved ones that tell you the truth - especially when you may not want to hear it - and a question that I have started using that has made such a positive impact on each of my days since our discussion.
“When your head hits the pillow tonight, what do you want to tell yourself you did with the day’s waking hours?”
This is part one of two episodes with my friend, Rosie.
Taking risks and how our tolerance changes over time. Taking part in activities where the focus is on joy versus usefulness. The obsession that we have with our occupation.
Those are a few of the topics that we delve into today. For us, though college was only a few years ago, it was so much fun to talk about the changes that she has made in her location, life situation, and mentality towards decision making.
The second part of this two part conversation, Kayla and I continue our dialogue by discussing how to separate work and pleasure when you work in a creative field, when you have to ship projects instead of continually tweaking them, different ways we all influence one another, and much more.
To find contact her or see some of her work, you can go to www.kaylabrighter.com or search for the account, "kjb_designs", on Instagram.
Art is about feeling something. When I heard that statement and learned a bit about that idea during this episode, my mind was blown. All art does not need to be pretty or make you feel in a positive way - it simply needs to make you feel.
Someone who has taught me about and inspires me with her creativity, Kayla is a friend that I am lucky to have in life.
To find contact her or see some of her work, you can go to www.kaylabrighter.com or search for the account, "kjb_designs", on Instagram.
Following up on the last episode's little cliffhanger, we begin by talking about one of Liz's biggest regrets. The conversation continues on to this personal journey that we are each on, being honest with ourselves when analyzing that journey, examining our community, and much more.
Thanks again to Liz for not only being a swell human being but also sharing a bit of her story for us :)
You never completely know what another person is going through and I think that is especially true when it comes to matters of the mind.
In this episode, my dear friend, Liz, shared a bit of her experience living with some mental health illness over the years, we talked about some of the challenges of accurately communicating about those issues with others, and the power that definite decision making can have on our lives.
In this second episode of a two-part conversation, Natalie and I wrap up our conversation by discussing some of the stigmas of non-traditional, non-monogamous relationships, her most non-traditional way of living, and being her most authentic self in the workplace.
I'm so thankful for a friend who is so transparent with thoughts and ideas for it is only through opening ourselves up to different perspectives can we hope to learn more.
Often a taboo topic of conversation, discussing views on love, relationships, and sex can be avoided in polite conversation. This is especially so when talking about viewpoints that run counter to what is generally socially acceptable.
In this first segment of a two-part conversation, Natalie is so incredibly open about her perspective that has been built through a lifestyle of curiosity and experimentation. Her perspective is one that has added much richness and openness to my mind and life.
I'll first recognize that Nick and I are in such privileged positions during this unprecedented time of Covid and for that we are both truly thankful.
For this episode, we discussed the various lessons that we have gathered since March and how our perspectives and outlooks have been altered. Through this reflection, we were able to find some insights that were not as obvious while we were experiencing them and also have new ways that we can adjust our actions as we move forward to this new world.
Some of us know early on what we want to be when we grow up while others take more time to figure it out. Jill certainly fits into the former category as she knew from childhood that she wanted to be a teacher - from our talk, she is the exact person that you would want teaching your children :)
We started off discussing her "why" of pursuing a career path in education and then talked about how Covid has changed her classroom, what she wants each student to take away from her classroom, and more.
More fun with Kunal in the second and final part of this conversation. With Kunal's curiosity and thoughtful questions, we attempted to dive deeper in this part and I believe that we succeeded for the most part.
Expanding on the first installment, we discussed being curious about others, a bit on stand-up comedy, pondering if we ever did not want to be Indian or Filipino, and filial piety.
Kunal is one of the best storytellers that I am blessed to have in my life. When he is talking, I cannot help but be drawn in by what he has to say.
In this episode, he tells stories of his life. What was it like growing up as an Indian kid in a Columbus, Ohio suburb? How many languages can he speak? What was his experience after 9/11?
All of those questions and more are answered in these 48 minutes.
One of my closest friends, Lauren Curtis, connects people better than most that I know. She has this way of making all feel included and revels in being able to introduce people to one another.
During this conversation, we go through how she came to be that way, what it has been like for her making friends when she has moved to new cities, her personal brand that she has developed, and a recap of her move to New Zealand.
Here's a quick summary of what Alex and I discussed in this episode:
-Her experience with Krav Maga and how it has influenced her life.
-One of the necessary steps of improving at anything is to go through the "sucking" phase - essentially that time where you are not very good but decide to proceed forward anyway.
-Why scheduling your time with friends is a useful exercise for building strong relationships.
-The books that have influenced us most.
Have you ever dreamed about financial independence? If so, what did you actually DO about it?
This is not an episode that teaches you how to build that life for yourself but instead a conversation with my friend, Alex, on how she has decided to live life a bit differently both compared to how she expected and to how others around her may prefer.
Oh, and you can you check out her side business, Backyard Sprouts, on Instagram, Youtube, and at www.backyardsprouts.com.
Following our period of catching up, Maria and I dove into our decided upon topic - her being a dog mom.
Without prep questions or a pre-call, our intention was to dive in and allow the conversation to grow organically. Along the way, we found ourselves discussing some unrelated topics as well - how do we determine what makes us happy and how do we stay our authentic selves in the workplace?
This was a joy to record with a dear friend and I can only hope it enhances your life in some way :)
When catching up with an old friend, what is it that you discuss? Career updates? Relationship status? The weather in your respective cities?
All of these can be worthwhile beginnings to an enriching conversation that connects but only if we go past the "what" and into the "why" of each subject.
Today's episode with my splendid friend, Maria, is an example of what I consider a quality reconnection. We talked about topics that matter to us and, at the end, we were better off than when we started.
How often do you complain?
If you asked me before doing this challenge, I would have told you much less than was the reality. That is the nature of auditing our lives through challenges to find out our true current state.
My friend Marc and I took on Will Bowen's Complaint Free challenge I'm not sure that either of us knew what to expect. On the backend though, we both came out as better versions of ourselves and this episode dives into those journeys :)
There are certain patterns and rhythms to our lives. Whether conscious of it or not, we establish certain routines and those routines play a huge part in the people we become and the objectives that we accomplish.
The change of pace in 2020 allowed today's guest, Kyle, to take time to evaluate what matters to him and what drives him. His openness about his past and present were so appreciated and made for an enriching conversation.
There is something magnetic about people who are unapologetically themselves. Max is one of those and it is one of the things I admire most about him.
He was at the forefront of fun projects in our college house. He led our case competition team called Bubble Trouble. He rented out his bedroom for a year. He does things his way and I'll always appreciate him for that.
The places that we live play a large part in the people that we become. Some we love and others we hate - all have an indelible mark upon us.
This episode goes through the lessons that my friend, Conor, has learned in his various moves through the years. With hindsight's assistance, we dive into his oft-times hard won knowledge to build for the future :)
Part of growing over time is letting go of our past selves to allow space for the new and improved versions to arise. In that process, our view of what is most important in how we interact with others can greatly shift.
One of my most dear friends, Dennis, has always been a loyal, intelligent, and driven person. His increased focus on empathy over the past year has only made him a better human and I am proud to call him my friend.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
It's a common question we ask children but can take a whole lifetime to discover the answer. Even when we find it, understanding and acting upon the knowledge are two completely different things.
Kuya Mike's calling is to be a chef. The path was not always clear and is certainly not always pretty. Seeing how he moves forward with it anyway as he knows it to be his purpose inspires me, and I hope it can do something similar for you too.
Now this is the story of all about how
Dina's life got flipped turned upside down
And I'd like to take 53 minutes, just sit right there
She'll tell us how her family moved from Albania to the US.
Okay, that was kind of lame, but it is an apt summary of this blessing of a discussion. I found so much joy in hearing her story and I hope you, as the listener, do as well :)
A continuation of last episode's discussion, this is the conclusion of Brien and my talk on self-care and self-improvement.
As often happens the more you get into a conversation, the dialogue meandered and flowed more freely discussing topics such as self-care vs. self-improvement vs. selfishness, Brien's experience going to a BLM protest, and what he calls his "Beach Theory".
Needless to say, we had a blast recording and I hope that the listening process is enjoyable as well :)
Though a last minute audible was made on the topic, my conversation with my co-worker and friend, Brien Heimbuch, was lengthy enough to require two different episodes (and we could have talked hours longer if it had not been so late in the day).
As he has made strides in his self-care journey through quarantine, we dove right into discussing our thoughts on how we mind our health and work to improve ourselves in various facets of life.
Having no Japanese roots did not stop my roommate, Mikaela, from taking an interest in learning the language. To have an interest though is the easy part; going through the process of the education is where things actually become difficult but where real growth is found. Since she went through the latter and continues her study to this day, I knew that I wanted her perspective for the show.
Here's hoping you enjoy the ramblings of two eager language students :)
A 5'1'' woman, 5'6'' guy, and 6'6'' guy sit down to discuss height and then end up diving deeper into insecurities. From questioning why people lie about the height in their dating profiles to exposing parts about themselves about which they are self-conscious, it was an engaging conversation with two stellar people.
Much love to Lauren Baldwin and Brian Oddo for taking the time to engage and putting themselves out to the world!
Okay, fine. You caught me. I'm only 5'5.75''. Enjoy the show :)
My dear friend, Nathan Covey, took the time to join me in a discussion on friendship. Our conversation was a stimulating start to the podcast and included attempts at defining friendship, common limiting beliefs on the topic, and reconnecting with people with whom we have lost touch over the years.
If you find even one tenth of the enjoyment in listening as we found in recording, we did our job. If you did not, my apologies :)
This initial episode is an overview explaining the intention of The Gray and what you can expect should you choose to listen.
Thanks so much for your interest in learning about this project and I am excited to share some of my blessings with you beautiful humans :)