The Neon Movie Bunker: Recent Episodes
John Robinson & El'Ahrai Stanek
After the Week of the Giant Spider, John and El'Ahrai return to keep talking about agrarian policy in 14th Century Lower Silesia...I mean, uh, movies. Reviews of "I Want Your Sex" and "Scary Movie (2026)" are on tap! Plus newsbits, questions, answers, and perhaps, if youre very, VERY good...more. You should listen! My mom used to be a heroin addict, and now she's a Scientologist.
It's an absolutely jam-packed show this week, as El'Ahrai and John are joined by everybody's favorite Blonde in Front, Cati Glidwell, for a long dissection and review of "Spider-Man: Brand New Day" with a "Hadestown" bonus! Plus! Breakdowns of the San Diego Comic-Con announcements and the developments in the Paramount-Warner Brothers merger, plus home video picks, questions, and so much more! You should listen! Yes, you! You know, Max was like the sweetest guy ever before he fell into a pool of electric eels.
Tie yourself to the mast and don't plug your ears, John and El'Ahrai are here to guide you home with their dulcet, Siren-like tones. This week, they're bringing reviews of "The Odyssey" and "Circle City Supernatural"! Plus all the newsbits and things you've come to love. Nobody is listening, are you? I'm not the man they send in to negotiate, or the man they send to make deals. But I am the man people talk to.
Time marches on! You can almost hear the cadence! I DON'T KNOW, BUT I BEEN TOLD! THESE PODCAST HOSTS ARE MIGHTY OLD! This week, El'Ahrai and John bring reviews of "The Invite" and "Evil Dead Burn"! Plus a beloved trilogy looks to be expanding, video picks, questions, answers, and so much more! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'LL BE MISSIN'! IF YOU DON'T DOWNLOAD AND LISTEN! Any man that'd leave you oughtta be monkey-stomped and have his brains mailed back to his mother.
The midyear is here! And to mark the occasion, John and El'Ahrai have invited in the effervescently entertaining Cati Glidewell--that's right, The Blonde in Front herself--for a discussion of the Best Movies of 2026 So Far! (The only title on all three lists? You guessed it: "K-Pops!".) Plus! Reviews of "Minions & Monsters" and "Iron Lung"! Plus the usual bits of idiosyncratic delight that make The Neon Movie Bunker the bulwark of popularity you've all come to know and love. You should listen! Turns out I don't need a medal to tell me I'm a good guy. Because if that little kid likes me...how bad can I be?
There are lofty shows, and there are other shows. This is certainly one of those two types. El'Ahrai and John review "Supergirl" and "Find Your Friends"! Plus! "Artificial" finds a home, videos are picked, questions are answered and so much more (well, OK, not a LOT more)! Download and listen! Or stream and listen! Or...don't. It's your time, and we're trying to respect that. Can I break through your complacency? Do you have compassion for the people suffering in this war? I'm telling you this war is a crime.
Gather 'round the electronic fireside, children, it's time for another film-based chinwag. John and El'Ahrai are back for another seamless, uninterrupted, problem-free episode. Reviews of "Toy Story 5" and "The Terror: Devil in Silver" are on offer this week. Plus! News, video picks, questions, answers, and...more! Please listen! Oh my God, for a minute there I thought that man didn't have an arm.
Let the heavens shake! It's time for a Count-Pointercount review, as El'Ahrai and John take on "Disclosure Day"! Plus! We draw the curtain on the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner...for now. Plus DVD picks, questions, and the rest. Bạn nên lắng nghe! It's not easy having a good time! Even smiling makes my face ache!
In what is certainly not an entirely desperate flail for relevance, "The Mandalorian and Grogu" is getting an upgrade during its theatrical run. John and El'Ahrai discuss that on this show. Plus! Reviews of "Masters of the Universe" and "Backrooms", video picks, and so much more! You should listen! Where I come from, it's illegal to be naive.
Well, another attempt to "Escape from New York" is in the works. Will this one actually happen? El'Ahrai and John have the discussion here! Plus! Reviews of "I Love Boosters" and "Mortal Kombat II", so you should listen! Speak for yourself. You may be a sinner, but I ain't yet had the opportunity.
Well, Cannes has concluded. Join John and El'Ahrai live far from the Croisette as they talk about the award winners and implications for the future. Plus! Reviews of "Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu" and "Saccharine", home video picks and more! You should listen! Do you get a bigger kick doing this, or stealing small objects?
It's a big, big show with a big, big crunch this week! El'Ahrai, John, and The Blonde in Front Cati Glidewell review "Obsession", "Is God Is", and "In the Grey". Which are magnificent works of art, and which are Guy Ritchie movies? Listen to find out! Plus! Reports from Cannes, and answers to all of the most pressing philosophical questions of our time! Okay, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because let's face it, he's the hero.
Where I come from, we have a saying, kind of a blessing, really: may two strangers not fly 700 miles to murder your fondest dreams. You wouldn't think it would come up much--and you'd be right about that--but when it does, the power of those sagacious words really hits in ways you could never have anticipated. Anyway, John and El'Ahrai review "The Sheep Detectives" and "Mārama". Listen if you want. Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt!
Peace--labor peace, at least--continues to break out all over, and El'Ahrai, John, and The Blonde in Front, Cati Glidewell, are here to talk about it! Find out what union has come to an accord with the studios inside! Plus! Reviews of "The Devil Wears Prada 2", "Hokum", and coverage from Panic Fest! Give it a listen, you'll like it! Hi. She's the monster; I'm the robot.
Hurry, little children, run this way--I have got a podcast at bay! John and El'Ahrai have returned to review "Mother Mary" and "Exit 8"! Plus! Lamentable acceptance, home video picks, questions, and more! Musicians for the most part are monosyllabic teenagers who really don't have a whole lot to say.
You say you want a brand-new podcast? Well, you know... This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Over Your Dead Body" and "Lee Cronin's The Mummy". Plus! Headlines out of CinemaCon, questions, answers, and more! You should listen! Barry was one of those born clever enough at gaining a fortune but incapable of keeping one, for the qualities and energies which lead a man to achieve the first are often the cause of his ruin in the latter case.
John and El'Ahrai are back once more with tales of derring-do and reviews of a pair of films. "The Drama" and "Psycho Killer" are up for debate this week. Which one is memorable for the right reasons, and which is memorable for the wrong (really, really wrong) reasons? You'll just have to listen to find out! Plus! Tarnish on a high-end brand, home video picks, questions, and more! It's just a little medical mutiny, Doc. I'm sure the boys are still with us. Let's cut them a little slack, ok?
Unlike certain other [gestures everywhere], Hollywood experienced an unexpected breakout of peace this week! Come join El'Ahrai and John in the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner for...good news? Plus! Reviews of "The Super Mario Galaxy Movie" and "The Mortician's Apprentice"! Also newsbits, questions, and no real explanation of mysterious absences! For what seems like the thousandth time: you should listen! These scars we have make us who we are, we're not meant to go back and fix them. Don't let your tragedy define you.
A nice, compact show this week, as John and El'Ahrai go Count-Pointercount on "Ready or Not 2: Here I Come"! Oh, the shenanigans that arise... Plus! Newsbits, video picks, questions, and more! You should listen! If you win this mail-in contest, you can choose between 90,000 dollars, or 90,000 donuts. What would you do with 90,000 donuts?
Well, the Oscars have happened, and lots of people feel various ways about them. Despite their best efforts to the contrary, El'Ahrai and John are people, and they have some feelings, too. (The mutual rage at "Avatar: Fire and Ash" being denied Best Costume Design was incandescent.) Plus! Reviews of "Project: Hail Mary" and "Hoppers", home video picks, questions, and more! You should listen! George, I think if you were named Admiral of the Turkish navy, your aides could dip into their haversacks and come up with the appropriate badges of rank.
It's the week before the Oscars: what kind of hijinks will John, El'Ahrai, and Cati get into? Well, there are reviews of "The Bride!", "Dolly", and "For Worse"! Plus: the Writer's Guild Awards tell us nothing of use for prognostication purpooses, Beyond Fest is on its way, video picks, questions, and so much more! Don't forget to join us this Sunday for our Academy Awards Reaction Livestream at twitch.tv/neonmoviebunker! Thanks for listening! I don't get vests. What, is it winter in your torso but summer in your arms?
What's better, seeing the Eiffel Tower or listening to a new episode of The Neon Movie Bunker? While you ponder this question, listen to El'Ahrai and John double-teaming a review of "Pillion"! With double the penetrating insights, will they come to an airtight conclusion? Plus! A threesome of newsbits, some well-disciplined home video picks, and more! Listen to it. You create your own reality. Truth is a malleable thing.
Every so often in life, you reach a crossroads, and a choice is required of you. One such choice lies before you now. You could catch up on lost sleep, or you could listen to this brand-new episode! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Crime 101" and "Dust Bunny"! Plus! BAFTA award analysis, home video picks, and the usual silliness. (We sure hope you pick "listen".) It was only a couple weeks later she suggested getting married. I said, "Don't you want to get to know me more?" She said, "Why? Does it get better?"
The boys welcome The Blonde in Front to the show this week. El'Ahrai, John and Cati review "Wuthering Heights", "Primate", and "Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die"! Plus discussion of the Independent Spirit Awards, and...a possible reopening of the Warner Brothers ownership sweepstakes? You should listen! Want to talk about what's haunting you, or should we wait for a third act flashback?
Hey there, cats and kittens! John and El'Ahrai are back to do what they do (talk and talk about movies and movie-adjacent topics). This week, they are delivering reviews of "A Private Life" and "Send Help" into your delicate earholes! Plus newsbits, home picks, and...the possible birth of a new segment? You'll just have to listen and find out! You're a Marine. It's the reason you're still alive right now. Remember your tradecraft and you'll be fine.
The boys have returned with reviews, news, and things you can use! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Testament of Ann Lee" and "Twisted"! Plus BAFTA nominations, home video, and the rest. You should listen! One time in the fourth grade, I messed around with a lab frog. I figure this is my punishment.
Oscar nominations are in, and John and El'Ahrai talk about 'em! Plus: reviews of "Mercy" and "Mother of Flies"! Also, the usual other silliness. You should listen! Every skull is a set of thoughts. These sockets saw and these jaws spoke and swallowed. This is a monument to them. A temple.
The dust is settling, and we're launching headlong into a nice 2026 routine. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Is This Thing On?" and "28 Years Later: The Bone Temple"! Plus awards review, regime change at Lucasfilm, video picks, and more! You should listen. Honey, just keep the coffee coming, or I'll give you a tip you won't forget!
With 2025 receding into the distance, the time has arrived to look forward! This week, John, El'Ahrai, and Cati give their lists of the Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies of 2026! (So, SO hype for "The Dog Stars".) Plus reviews of "Jay Kelly", "The Voice of Hind Rajab", and "Marshmellow"! And all the usual mishegoss. You should listen! All my bad behavior I'm going to throw away to pay my debt. I will change when everybody expects it the least.
It's the one you've waited for all year: THE 2025 NEON MOVIE BUNKER YEAR-END SPECTACUGANZA IS HERE!!! Join El'Ahrai, John, and Cati for their lists of the top movies of 2025! (Somehow, "Regretting You" is the unanimous #1.) Plus a triple review of "No Other Choice", the Bruckheimer and Cage Awards, and SO. MUCH. MORE. You should listen! I got socks older than this here boy. What the hell he know about the blues?
2025 is fading from view and memory, but that doesn't mean there's no opportunity to toss a few more shovelfuls of dirt on its grave. In that spirit, John, El'Ahrai, and Cati are here to deliver their lists of the Worst Movies of 2025! (The most brutal calumnies are reserved for "The Bad Guys 2".) Plus! Reviews of "Avatar: Fire and Ash", "Sentimental Value", and "Song Sung Blue", video picks, and more! Also: the Spectacuganza is next week, so get your picks in for the best movie of the year! Well, I was gonna say stop him, but sure, if we have time we can do the limb thing.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring , except the three film critics talking about new releases! This week, El'Ahrai, John, and The Blonde in Front, Cati Glidewell discuss "The Housemaid", "Anaconda", and "Marty Supreme"! Plus newsbits, home viewing picks, an oddly philosophical question, and more! The tree is a cancer, Harold. We have to get rid of it before it kills Christmas.
In advance of assorted birthdays, famous and infamous, John and El'Ahrai have returned with reviews of "Ella McCay" and "Silent Night, Deadly Night"! Plus newsbits, video picks, questions, and the rest. You should listen, you'll enjoy it! What better day to be alone? I don't have that hang-up like other people do about your birthday and parties. You were born alone, you should celebrate it. Celebrate aloneness. That's what birthdays are for.
It's a fine show this week, even if there are...tensions. El'Ahrai and John deliver big news up front about Netflix getting all spendy, plus a bunch of year-end awards were announced, and the opportunity to see something for the first time...again. Then big honkin' reviews of "Eternity" and "If I Had Legs I'd Kick You", plus video picks, questions, and the rest. You should listen! At least you found love, even if you can't get it. I've never been lucky enough to even know what the hell it is.
Sequels! Savior of the film industry, or unkillable plague spawned in the deepest pits of Satan's realm? As ever, the answer is both! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Zootopia 2" and "Black Phone 2"! Plus all the other stuff: newsbits, video picks, light arson. You should listen! Now see what you made me do! You made me kill my own brother! He was an idiot...but he was MY idiot!
It's another episode, despite your fervent pleas! El'Ahrai and John welcome Cati "The Blonde in Front" Glidewell back to the show this week, and between them, they review "Wicked: For Good", "Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery" and "Keeper", even though we AGREED to only review titles that start with W, EL'AHRAI. This year, we're thankful for you, dear listener. (And the Criterion Collection.) Everybody dies. Some of us peacefully and in our sleep, and some of us...horribly. And that's life.
A fairly quick show this week, with John and El'Ahrai reviewing "Predator: Badlands" and "The Strangers: Chapter Two". Does more colons mean more quality? Listen and find out! Plus video picks, newsbits, questions, and more! I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should.
There are reviews in this show: "Blue Moon" and "Good Boy". There is speculation about the just-announced "Gremlins 3". There are home video picks. And leavened through is the commentary from El'Ahrai and John you've come to expect. Step into the Neon Movie Bunker, and bring a friend. There's a family with kids. Do the kids first and make the mother watch. Tell her you'll stop if she can hold back her tears. I owe her that.
Three critics enter. One review leaves. Ladies and gentlemen, theydies and gentlethems, children of all ages, John, El'Ahrai, and beloved guest star Cati "The Blonde in Front" Glidewell collaborate today to review "Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein". Prepare yourself for heights of hyperbole rarely reached outside the realm of professional wrestling! Plus! Newsbits, video picks, and a rundown of Cati's Autumn of 1000 Horror Festivals! You should listen, and tell a friend! I look in the mirror and the only thing I recognize, are these eyes. In this old man's face.
O, children! It's a good episode this week. El'Ahrai and John are here to regale you with reviews of "Bugonia" and "The Toxic Avenger"! Plus there is a significant amount of discussion of hypothetical Star Wars projects, home viewing picks, and so much more, so listen and enjoy! I have an idea! If I sweat some more my body will cleanse itself and I won't be contaminated anymore! I'm already sweating! A.k.a., come lick me!
You know what time it is? I mean besides that. And that. And that's next week. No, it's Neon Movie Bunker time! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "After the Hunt" and "Blood on the Stars"! Which one was the good kind of weird, and which one was weirdly no kind of good? Listen to find out! When all you've got is nothing, there's a lot to go around.
The days are growing shorter, and movies are still coming to theaters. And where there are movies to review, El'Ahrai and John will be there to review (some of) them! This week, "Tron: Ares" and "John Candy: I Like Me" get the treatment. Plus bits of news, home viewing recommendations, questions, you know what it's like. So listen in! But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I'm coming looking for you!
John and El'Ahrai are back once more, armed with reviews, opinions, and (sometimes) pizza. "Kiss of the Spider Woman" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" are on the docket for today, so gather around and listen! Love is a luxury a spy cannot afford.
Well, the movies start coming and they don't stop coming! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Eleanor the Great" and "Night of the Reaper"! Which one fares well, and which one is compared rather unfavorably to a previous worst movie of the year? The only way to find out is to listen! Plus newsbits, video picks, and fun questions of inversion! That's just what happens when you're rich and you don't have a job. You get a little crazy.
2025 has had its japes and shenanigans, but now it's time to flip the swith from "The Fun Movies" to "The Good Movies", as John, El'Ahrai, and everybody's favorite guest star, Cati Glidewell (a.k.a. The Blonde in Front) are here to talk about "One Battle After Another", "The Long Walk", and "Together". Plus! news on government censorship, a surprise out of the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (as ever, sponsored by Oven Mitts), and the usual talkety-talking so many have grown to tolerate. You should listen! Back when they were together she could go weeks without anything more complicated than a pout. Now she was laying some heavy combination of face ingredients on Doc that he couldn't read at all.
Good morning, Baltimore (and everywhere else fine podcasts are downloaded)! El'Ahrai and John are here this week to share reviews of "Spinal Tap II: The End Continues" and "Bambi: The Reckoning"! Plus awards from Toronto and strange doings afoot in corporate boardrooms on the West Coast. Listen, and you might just learn something before it's done! If we get any more white people in here, this is gonna be a suburb.
Guess who's back? No, not Generalissimo Francisco Franco, he's still dead. We've got someone much better than him: the Blonde in Front, Cati Glidewell has returned to join John and El'Ahrai as they review "The Roses", "The Conjuring: Last Rites", "Dangerous Animals", and "Twinless"! Sounds like a rip-roaring good time! You should listen! There's sinning in my heart, there's evil in the world but when I got no one, I talk to God. I ask for strength, I ask for forgiveness, not peace at the end of my days when I got no more life to live or no more good to do but today, right now... What's your heaven?
Like a spurned lover, September is here to wreak its vengeance. Before the axe falls, El'Ahrai and John are here to supply you with their lists of the Top 5 Movies They're Anticipating Until The End of 2025! (More airtime than is really warranted for "Five Night at Freddy's 2"? History will be the judge of that.) Plus! Reviews of "Caught Stealing" and "Eenie Meanie"! You should listen! PMS isn't real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we're crazy.
Summer is aging. Let us exult with reviews of films! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Highest 2 Lowest" and "Monster Island" (which is not actually a peninsula)! Plus a bit of news, video picks, and, y'know, more. Listen and you might even learn something! I am to be described as "robust" and "healthy."
In this world of woe and wonder, isn't it nice to know that there's a new Neon Movie Bunker episode this week? El'Ahrai and John are here to review and discuss "Nobody 2" and "Alien: Earth"! Doesn't that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? It doesn't? Well, the episode is still happening. You should listen! Ollie, you know my feelings about arming morons: You arm one, you gotta arm 'em all, otherwise it wouldn't be good sport.
There are big titles on the horizon this week, as John and El'Ahrai talk "Weapons" and "Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story"! You can bet there's some good stuff there, Gladys! Plus newsbits and the other stuff. Look, I'm not a crackhead! I'm someone who's escaped being captured! What do you want me to say?
Well, they went and did the thing again: El'Ahrai and John have reviewed movies into a microphone and expect all y'all to listen. Are you going to put up with that? "The Naked Gun" and "In the Lost Lands" are up for examination. Plus newsbits, video picks, a minor correction, etc. So listen! I can live almost with the artwork. I mean, if Charles Manson needed a personal muralist, you'd be the guy.
Too soothe the fire of your desire, the Neon Movie Bunker has returned! El'Ahrai and John are here to rock you with reviews of "The Fantastic Four: First Steps" and "Happy Gilmore 2", and it's not too much of a stretch to say one is worthy of praise and the other should disappear. Plus video picks, Comic-Con newsbits, and more! Listen, or face your doom! You know what Albert Einstein said: if you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
Now that last week's...unpleasantness...is over, Cati Glidewell stops by to talk "Superman", "Eddington", and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" with John and El'Ahrai! Doesn't that sound terrific? Plus newsbits, home picks, and more! You should listen! Frank, what! I didn't know I wasn't supposed to kill him. I mean, I'm just learning, you have to teach me these things.
So the fan club of a certain two-time back-to-back Best Director hacked our systems and tried to ransom our newest episode. We ain't letting that happen, so we'll be back next week.
We sit at (just about) the midpoint of 2025. As is their wont for this time of year, El'Ahrai and John have selected lists of the Top 5 Movies of 2025! (Topping both lists? You guessed it: "Dog Man".) Plus! Reviews of "Jurassic World: Rebirth" and "Bring Her Back"! Also all the other stuff. Listen, you should listen. Why does the devil walk in human form anyway? I have no idea. Maybe he doesn't know either. Maybe he passes on from body to body, down through history, waiting for the perfect fit. But I know one thing, on Earth, he's weak. His powers are limited. He needs emissaries to do his dirty work, so he finds them or makes them, using his greatest power: the power of the deal.
In what can only be taken as proof of the indifference of the universe, we've hit a milestone! John and El'Ahrai celebrate their 400th episode this week! And they've got reviews, they do! "F1" and "A Minecraft Movie" come under the patented Neon Movie Bunker Microscope! So many exclamation points! Plus! A best of the century (so far) list, home video picks, and...thank yous?! You should listen! Oh, I lie now and then, I suppose. Sometimes I'd tell them the truth and they still wouldn't believe me, so I prefer to lie.
It's another show packed with goodness this week, as El'Ahrai, John and frequent contributor/bonne vivante Cati Glidewell talk "28 Years Later", "Bride Hard", and "Elio"! Plus! A nice, meaty discussion of the 50th anniversary of "Jaws" and the impact it had! Plus all the usual silliness. Listen in! These children haven't been properly parented in many years. They're practically feral. That's why I was brought in.
Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the podcast feed, John, El'Ahrai, and special guest star Cati Glidewell are back to tear up and digest "Life of Chuck", "Predator: Killer of Killers", and "Materialists"! Plus all the other usual stuff you know, you love, you cannot live without. Listen. l've been thinking. Maybe Venezuela can use some trained whales.
The arrival of a new Wes Anderson film is always cause for optimism. Will that optimism be fulfilled? Find out on this week's show, as El'Ahrai and John review "The Phoenician Scheme" and "Rosario"! Plus bits of news and all the rest. You should listen! In my loneliness, and perhaps because of it, I've learned not to judge people, to take people as I find them, not as others find them. And most of all, to give complete and unquestioning faith to the people I love.
A light breather in the relentless summer movie schedule allows John, El'Ahrai, and everyone's favorite special guest star Cati Glidewell to take a look at a couple of smaller pictures this week. "Friendship" and "Until Dawn" come under the tripartite microscope! What a thrill! Plus home picks, questions, answers, and other stuff! You should listen! I have to be honest, though. I have all the hope and ambition in the world. But, when I think about the future, the truth is, I--am--really--scared.
Cannes is over (if you want it)! El'Ahrai and John report and comment on the various award winners (and non-winners--we see you, American cinema!). But wait, there's more! We also have reviews of "Mission: Impossible--The Final Reckoning" and "Fear Street: Prom Queen"! (Seems a very colon-y episode). Plus all the other stuff. Listen and maybe even learn something. It's so bad, that I keep fantasizing that one of us is dying of cancer, so that I don't have to break up with her.
Ahoy there, matey! I offer ye a choice: voluntarily submit to an hour of service on HMP Neon Movie Bunker, or find yourself shanghaied into an hour of service on that selfsame vessel. But, oh, there are delights herein! John and El'Ahrai provide reviews of "Final Destination: Bloodlines" and "The Damned"! Plus talk from Cannes, Kevin Costner has issues, and more! So sign the muster roll and listen! And that's why, in a straight fight, a shark would probably beat a Dracula.
The boys have referred to the second weekend of May as the "death slot" more than once in the past. This week, the crop El'Ahrai and John see fit to review are "Clown in a Cornfield" and "Paddington in Peru"! (Ooh, alliteration!) Plus a newsbit or two, some other idle discussion, a bit of foolishness, that sort of thing. Listen and enjoy! Hey, its all about the hair. Don't you forget that. Especially when you become some big hotshot lawyer. Those professional types think its all about brains and ability and completely ignore the do.
Well, the summer movie season has arrived in its inexorable way. As such, John and El'Ahrai are here, with reviews of "Thunderbolts*" and "Andor: Season 2"! Yay? Plus tariff talk, a review of a format, and all the rest! So download and listen! Or stream and listen! Just...just listen, OK? Listen, you hormonal vulgarian, that woman deserves your respect, not your erotic speculation.
But, soft! What light through yonder Zoom window breaks? It is the east, and Cati Glidewell is the sun. Yes, the Blonde in Front joins El'Ahrai and John this week to talk about "Sinners" (yes, again), "The Accountant 2" and "The Legend of Ochi'! Plus: an unexpected sequel arises! all this and more are waiting for your ears, so listen! I haven't been anywhere. Well, Cancun--not my proudest moment.
Oh, it's a GOOD one this week. John and El'Ahrai are here to review movies and chew bubblegum, and chewing bubblegum into a live microphone sounds awful. "Sinners" and "Motorpsycho!" are on the docket for today, so listen up and listen good. There is also a prolonged discussion about the direction of the Star Wars franchise, and if you listen closely and run the last ten minutes backward at 8x speed, a recipe for a nice butter-poached lobster. You should listen! If punching a policeman is a sin, we may as well just pack up and go home.
Welcome, one and all! El'Ahrai and John are here to deliver only the finest film reviews imaginable (please don't imagine very hard). This week, "Drop" and "The Monkey" come under the microscope, so prepare yourself! Plus some bits of news and so much more! You should listen! Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed.
Time marches on! New releases march on! John Philip Sousa...died in 1932. But his music marches on! In that spirit, John and El'Ahrai are here to give you reviews of movies: this week, it's "The Friend" and "One of Them Days"! Plus discussion of all the CinemaCon goings-on, and all the usual foolishness, so give a listen! I've been called a son of a you-know-what plenty of times, but I've never been called a son of God.
A is specter haunting Hollywood--the specter of labor unrest. This week, El'Ahrai and John draw back the curtain on the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts). Also, newstalk about Sundance's new home! Plus reviews of "Death of a Unicorn" and "Moana 2", home video picks, and more! I'm dying, how are you?
It could be argued, of course, that no piece of art is truly "necessary". That said, some do seem to be less necessary than others. In that spirit, John and El'Ahrai are here to offer reviews of "Snow White" and "The Electric State". Was that opening a hint? Maaaaaaaybe. Also: news bits, video picks, and the usual silliness, so listen in! This is gonna be fun. You're gonna meet kids today you can borrow money from the rest of your life.
Oh, we have a good one indeed this week, as El'Ahrai and John slink into your podcast feed with reviews of "Black Bag" and "Daredevil: Born Again". How's that for terrific?! Plus news, home video picks, and more of that special sauce to which you've developed a tolerance! So you should listen! Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize? Because you suck at it!
The fine gentlemen of the Neon Movie Bunker have returned, and they've brought reviews with them! This week, John and El'Ahrai deliver "Mickey 17" and "Companion" for your consideration. Plus! Newsbits, home release picks and...do you remember DivX? You will. So listen in! Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
Well, the Oscars are done for this cycle, and we've finally got some winners. On the other end of the spectrum, El'Ahrai and John are here with reviews! This week, "My Dead Friend Zoe" and "Elevation" are up for examination! Plus the boys rehash the Oscars for your delectation! So listen in! I remember one Christmas, I was like 6 or 7, my family bought me the cutest little Barney doll, that I would take with me everywhere. And one day I put it inside the tub with me, to give it a bath...and it just stopped working. It stopped singing the "I Love You" song. And I was just so upset. The world can be a cruel place.
One week remains before the Oscars and our live coverage thereof on Twitch! Cool your anticipation with this week's episode! John and El'Ahrai are here with reviews of "Universal Language" and "The Gorge"! Plus the last round of precursor awards, and the usual yakkety yak (though you should feel free to talk back). We'll see you Sunday night at The Neon Movie Bunker on Twitch for the livestream! If you are sad and like beer, I'm your lady.
I can't tell you if you will ever see another butterfly, but I can tell you that there is another episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Captain America: Brave New World" and "The Wolf Man"! Plus: BAFTA winners, home video picks, and more! Also: join us in our event space Sunday, March 2 to listen to our live reactions to the 97th Academy Awards! I got something kinda big, but I can't hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell, and if I tear myself in half, don't come back for me.
There is, in fact, a new episode...and here it is! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Love Hurts" and "Luther: Never Too Much"! Plus awards talk, movie cancellations, home video picks, and the proverbial "more", so listen in! You know what I say when I'm asked how my Son's doing? I say "Your guess is as good as mine!"
Hark! A podcast! This week, El'Ahrai, John, and everyone's favorite guest Cati Glidewell are here to review "I'm Still Here" and "Heart Eyes"! Plus a discussion of the Siegel estate's claim to Superman, home video picks, and so much more! So listen and enjoy! You're right. Good taste has undoubtedly deprived me of any number of friendships.
Well, would you look at that, it's another episode! This time around, John and El'Ahrai review "Presence" and "Hundreds of Beavers"! Plus! They react to the Oscar nominations! They are put on the spot about directors they love! They talk about home video picks! Come join the conversation and LISTEN! Normally, when people hit things with their car, there are skidmarks on the pavement. A brick wall is a pretty good reason to use the brakes, turn the wheel. You didn't do that.
2025 is settling in for what seems like it'll be about a year, and we're back to regular shows this week! El'Ahrai and John are here with reviews of "The Room Next Door" and "Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens"! Plus the last inhale before six weeks of Oscar coverage, awesome video picks, and more! So listen, you'll like it! What you don't understand is the importance of what we do here, okay? This place is for people who need it, okay? People who aren't accepted anywhere else. You are not one of those people, Troy. You are not one of us.
As 2024 recedes from view, the time has come to discuss 2025 in earnest. As such, John and El'Ahrai provide you with lists of their Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies of 2025! (They're both all about "The Housemaid".) Plus! Reviews of "The Last Showgirl" and "Kraven the Hunter"! So strap in and listen! Look, I heard you the first time, Bobby. I ain't mute.
Grab some snacks and a beverage, because at long last, it's here: THE 2024 NEON MOVIE BUNKER YEAR-END SPECTACUGANZA has arrived! It's big and beefy and packed full with amazingness! Join El'Ahrai, John, and the everlasting delight herself, Cati Glidewell, as they count down their lists of the Top 10 movies of 2024! Become amazed at the wildly strong showing for "Ricky Stanicky"! Plus! Reviews of "September 5" and "The Brutalist"! Plus newsbits, home picks and...the Bruckheimer Award. So listen! And thank you for all your support throughout the year! We hope you continue to listen for years to come. Like, sure, Mom, you got a job to do. You're doing great. But let me ask you something. You put this kid to bed, who's gonna watch over Poughkeepsie?
2024 has wound down, and we're marking the occasion with the first of our annual set of three--yes, John and El'Ahrai are giving you their lists of The Worst Movies of 2024! (Take that, "Moana 2"!) Plus! Reviews of "Nickel Boys" and "What If Season 3"! So listen and got your Best-Of choices in for nevt week! So nice when diabolical evil lives up to the hype!
It's the holidays! El'Ahrai and John make almost no menion of it, but they do review "A Complete Unknown", "Transformers One", and "Babygirl"! Plus a production company in hot water with the WGA, casting news to last you until we meet again, and sequel talk! Plus, get your choices for Worst and Best of 2024! Spectacuganza impends! It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every December the 25th. But as I seem to be the only man who knows that...take the day off.
Christmas approaches. This, of course, makes things perfect for...vampires? John and El'Ahrai are here to review "Nosferatu" and "Venom: The Last Dance"! Plus the usual foolishness. Also, one of them is aging. You can't hurt me more than I'm hurt already.
You know what they say: two's company, three's a significantly better epsiode. With that as our guiding rule, we're pleased to welcome Cati Glidewell back to the show! Join Cati, El'Ahrai and John as they discuss "Nightbitch", "Flow", and "Y2K", plus the economic downturn to the UK from leaving the Schengen Zone as a result of Brexit--I mean, end-of-year awards announcements. So listen! The Cati shows are always better! What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? He will be attractive! He'll be nice and helpful. He'll get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation. He'll never do an evil thing! He'll never deliberately hurt a living thing... he will just bit by little bit lower our standards where they are important. Just a tiny little bit. Just coax along flash over substance. Just a tiny little bit. And he'll talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women.
It's December! It's December! Celebrate the King of Months with John and El'Ahrai as they review "Gladiator II" and "The People's Joker"! Doesn't that sound like a thing you could do? Plus newsbits, video picks, and more. Also! We're approaching the end of the year, so let us know your choices for the best and worst of the year through one of the usual channels! Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time, I do what I have to.
Thanksgiving impends, which means Black Friday (and holiday shopping) are close behind! And as a public service and certainly not a wish list for themselves, El'Ahrai and John are here to give your their very own Holiday Buying Guide for the Movie Lover In Your Life! Please your film nerd and listen! Plus! Reviews of "Wicked Part One" and "Smile 2"! I've talked to God a lot about you over the years. He said He broke the mold when He made you. Says you're sure entertaining to watch, but way too much trouble.
Continuing on with the unkillable tenacity of army ants is its own kind of resistance. In that spirit, John and El'Ahrai have returned this week to review "A Real Pain" and "Cuckoo"! Plus newsbits, questions, home video picks, and the rest! This world's a treasure, Don; but it's been telling us to leave for a while now.
They're back, and they're ready to review movies! El'Ahrai and John subject "Anora" and "My Old Ass" to the scrutiny of their steely gaze! Plus newsbits, questions, video picks and arguably less overt despair than you might expect! So listen! You couldn't have heard. I kind of write donut jokes on the side. It's one of my many talents.
Enjoy this episode recorded before Election Day, ahead of the Fall. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" and "The Apprentice". Plus some assorted talking and stuff and oh, what's the point? Nothing matters any more. Do you still think you can control them?
There are matters liturgical and biographical on the docket this week, as El'Ahrai and John review "Conclave" and "Piece by Piece"! Plus home video picks, questions, and the boys demonstrate more courage than the owners of the Washington Post and the Los Angeles Times! Would I block you? I would spend every cent I own, and all I could borrow, to block you. There are people who think of Johnny as a clown and a buffoon, but I do not. I despise John Iselin and everything that Iselinism has come to stand for. I think, if John Iselin were a paid Soviet agent, he could not do more to harm this country than he's doing now.
Well, because of what you did, the show has returned again. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "We Live in Time" and "Terrifier 3"! Eros and Thanatos, get 'em here! Plus the usual stuff. You should listen! Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
A slightly more standard-sized show this week, as El'Ahrai and John review "Saturday Night" and "Hellboy: The Crooked Man"! (One of them is good, and one has Hellboy in it!) Plus all the usual newsbits, home video picks, questions and weird silliness (or is it silly weirdness) that is endemic to the brand! So listen! Dr. Manning, suck my ectoplasmic schwanzstucker!
Carve out a bit of time, because this one is big and beefy! John, El'Ahrai, and the ubiquitious Cati Glidewell are setting course for your earholes with reviews of "Joker: Folie à Deux", "Salem's Lot", "Killer Rental", and "The Substance"--can you guess which one is praised by two-thirds of the panel as one of 2024's best? Plus! Newsbits, home video picks, and...El'Ahrai saw "Megalopolis". So listen, and tell your friends to listen, too! It was supposed to be a tribute to Beyoncé, but people did not take it that way.
After a bit of...unpleasantness, we are back! Yes, El'Ahrai and John have returned to your earholes to terrorize the studios and champion the weird, all for reasonable rates! This week, they bring reviews of "Megalopolis" and "Wolfs", and one of them is a review unlike any in 18 years of experience! Plus newsbits and questions and home video picks and all the rest! It's great to be back, so you should listen! That's the bravest thing I've ever seen a vegetable do.
Due to a terribly rude invasion by real life, The Neon Movie Bunker will be going on a brief indefinite hiatus. When we know when will be back, well let you know. Thank you for your understanding. His digestive system is extremely simple. This processor dispenses a rudimentary paste that sustains his organic systems.
Well, there we go again. John, El'Ahrai and special guest Cati Glidewell review not one, not two, not three, but FOUR movies! "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice", "The Front Room", "Trap", and "Reagan"! Plus! Talk of the Oscar race starts! So please, sit down, sit back and enjoy the dulcet tones of our voices. So women aren't supposed to feel the same things that a man feels? I mean its wrong for them to talk about it? It's okay for a man to say "I'm horny. I'd like to get laid." This is not okay for a woman to say?
Well, we're rounding into the home stretch of 2024, and El'Ahrai and John are here to share their lists of the Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies For The Rest of The Year! (One day, their will be dueling epic poems about the battle to select "Moana 2".) Plus! Reviews of "Between the Temples" and "Harold and the Purple Crayon"! Throw in some festival news and other stuff, and you've got a show going! I ate my grandma! And it took a week cause she was absolutely humongous.
OK, we know there are some audio issues during the review portion of this week's show. The person responsible will be flogged until he doesn't like the flogging any more (we could be here a while). Anyway! Join John, El'Ahrai, and Special Guest Star Tim Conw--I mean, Cati Glidewell as they discuss "Blink Twice", "Sugarcane" and "Oddity"! Plus naughty trailer creators, home video picks, and the usual jackanapery. So listen! When you can't trust the lawyers and the advertising men, what the hell's America coming to, huh?
Can I interest you in some movie talk? Perhaps...a Count/Pointercount review of "Alien: Romulus" with a bonus chaser of "Borderlands" slander? Well, do El'Ahrai and John have a show for you! There's also some talk about the apparent resurrection of one of the most notorious films of the past 60 years, and...I dunno, a DVD gets mentioned. So listen in! Like sauerkraut, it's good for you! You do things someone else's way and you take your life into your own hands.
If there is any mercy left in this universe, by the time you read this, the sun will have extinguished. If, on the other hand, the universe continues onward in its infinite indifference, here is a new episode. "Didi" and "The Bikeriders" are up for review. There are other discussions. None of it matters. Nothing matters. There is no harmony in the universe. We have to get acquainted to this idea that there is no real harmony as we have conceived it. But when I say this, I say this all full of admiration for the jungle. It is not that I hate it, I love it. I love it very much. But I love it against my better judgment.
El'Ahrai and John are back, and they, too, will be doing this until they're 90! "Kneecap" and "Sing Sing" are on the review docket this week, so listen up for that! Plus! There is extended discussion of the Marvel announcements out of Comic-Con's Hall H, and--to continue the Marvel-y fun--some talk about the manner in which "Deadpool & Wolverine" has rewritten the box office record book! Doesn't that sound like good, clean fun? You should listen! It's probably just a wedding somewhere nearby. They like to shoot off guns at weddings here. You get it, you're from Florida.
Well, we've reached (perhaps) the final big hitter of the Summer Movie Season 2024. This week, John and El'Ahrai deliver a Count-Pointercount review of "Deadpool and Wolverine"! Thrill to all the Robert Bresson references, both in the movie and the reviews! Did we hear a single? Find out! Plus all the usual stuff. I remember signing a contract, to play ball not to be put to sleep by some two bit carney hypnotist!
It's July, so grab hold, Miranda! This week, El'Ahrai, John, and fifth Beatle Cati Glidewell review "Twisters", "The Fall Guy:: Extended Cut", and "Widow Clicquot"! Plus rumblings of dissolutions, home video picks, questions, and more! Tell me and you and everyone we know to listen! I don't want to have to do this living. I just walk around. I want to be swept off my feet, you know? I want my children to have magical powers. I am prepared for amazing things to happen. I can handle it.
The slow downhill...slide? crawl? descent? to the end of 2024 has begun. Let John and El'Ahrai be your guides on this trip into darkness, with movie reviews and stuff! This week, "Longlegs" and "Fly Me to the Moon" await the judgment they are due. Plus all the usual delights. So download and listen! A family tiff seems to be developing. I don't know if we should leave, but I definitely advise skipping the fish course.
Guess who's back! Back again! Cati's back! Tell a friend! That's right, The Blonde in Front has returned to grace our filthy airwaves with the delight of her presence! And it's a special one, as this week, Cati, El'Ahrai, and John name their Top Five Movies for 2024 So Far! (I'm not going to lie to you, they all said "Kung Fu Panda 4" for all five slots.) Plus! Reviews of "Maxxxine", "Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F", and "Daddio"! You know you want to listen, so...like, do that. That is awesome! I mean, it's disturbing, but it's awesome!
A great big number like 350 deserves a great big show, and by gum, we've got one for you this week! Author and Contributing Editor at Vanity Fair Maureen Ryan graces John and El'Ahrai with her presence to discuss her new-in-paperback book, "Burn It Down". It's a wide-ranging interview, and a good one! But wait, there's more! Reviews of "Kinds of Kindness" and "A Quiet Place: Day One", plus a stop by the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts), home video picks, questions, and more! So give a listen! Say this one time with me: "Would you like that in a pump or a loafer?"... Good. Now memorize it, because starting tomorrow, the only job that you're going to be able to get is selling SHOES!
It is often said that into each life, a little rain must fall, and this is cerrtainly true. However, even the rainiest lives have their days of sun, and one must be aware and ready for those when they arise. (Don't worry, there are jokes in the episode, promise.) This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Bikeriders" and "Thelma"! Plus newsbits, video picks, and the usual unusual. You should listen! We both know I'm not above killing children, but I'm not wasteful.
The movie world this week was all about "Inside Out 2", so why should we be any different? John and El'Ahrai review "Inside Out 2" and "The Watchers" (respectively), plus there is some newsy discussion of box office success! Also! The other weird dumbness and dumb weirdness that has marked this show from Day 1! So strap in! Let me tell you, Falk. We live in perilous times. You got to keep alert for these things. You don't want your life to wind up as black-and-white newsreel footage scored by a cello in a minor key.
We're back for another week toiling in the mines of criticism and entertainment journalism! El'Ahrai and John bring reviews this week of "Bad Boys: Ride or Die" and "MoviePass, MovieCrash"! Will they unearth gems, or will it just be ton upon ton of virtually worthless bauxite? Find out for yourself! It's true! You get colonized! Your native culture gets driven out, and it's replaced by stuff that you don't like and don't even want to know about. It's true! You get colonized! Your native culture gets driven out, and it's replaced by stuff that you don't like and don't even want to know about.
Oyez! Oyez! A bit of a post-Memorial Day Weekend lull on reviews, but there is news a-plenty on the subject of Netflix's various nefariousness, among other things. John and El'Ahrai provide reviews of "Ezra" and "The First Omen", among all the other stuff...and things. Plus! Do you notice an upgrade in sound quality? Let us know! I move around a lot, not because I'm looking for anything really, but 'cause I'm getting away from things that get bad if I stay.
It's a jam-packed show this week, as El'Ahrai, John, and everyone's favorite Blonde in Front, Cati Glidewell, come to you with a round of reviews of "Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga", "Babes", and "In a Violent Nature"! Come and listen! Find out who was disappointed and who was wrong! (Those are probaby both John.) Plus all the usual other stuff! That's a question I'll never be able to pluck up the courage to ask but as he's me best friend I will.
The "I"s have it on this week's show, as John and El'Ahrai provide reviews of "IF" and "I Saw The TV Glow"! Plus home video picks, Cannes talk, role models questions, and just possibly...more. So listen! Like sauerkraut, it's good for you! Yeah, if you can afford a house like this you buy a house like this, you know?
BAH GAWD! That's Cati Glidewell's music! Yes, The Blonde in Front is back this week, joining El'Ahrai and John for the whole show as together they review "Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes", "Poolman", and "Hollywood Con Queen"! Plus newsbits of various sorts, questions, and good stuff a-plenty! So listen in! It is not a metaphor. It is an armrest.
Well, it seems the summer movie season is here! The week, John and El'Ahrai leap in feet-first with reviews of "The Fall Guy" and "Tarot"! Plus a newsbit segment that unexpectedly got away from us toward the end. (You'll know it when you hear it.) Also, y'know, video picks, questions, the usual. You should listen! All these protocols and procedures to make it seem like you have it under control. But you're a bunch of boys making models out of balsa wood! You don't have anything under control!
We're right on the doorstep of what could prove to be one of the more unusual Summer Movie Seasons in quite some time. But before that grand leap into the unknown, El'Ahrai and John are here to provide reviews of "Rebel Moon--Part Two: The Scargiver" and "The Idea of You"! Plus some newsbits, some questions, and maybe--just maybe--some ridicule for "Madame Web". Listen in! You must be French. Your hand smells like cheese.
It's yours! It's mine! It's ours! Yes, it's a reveiw trifecta on this week's show, as John and El'Ahrai talk "Challengers", "Boy Kills World", and "Abigail" (or as they will now forever be known: "Sweaty, Stabby, and Gory")! Plus all the usual accoutrements that make The Neon Movie Bunker experience as special as it is. Charlie, when you kill a man, you end up with his father or his friends on your tail. It usually ends badly.
Hopefully you're not on trial for election manipulation and can enjoy this fine new episode! El'Ahrai and John review "Civil War" and "Sasquatch Sunset", and doesn't that sound like a blast? Plus newsbits and questions and all the good stuff you've come to expect. Did you know that the germs can come through the wires? I never call and I never answer. It's a good way to get sick. Very, very sick... That's how I got so sick! SOMEONE CALLED ME ON THE TELEPHONE!
It's a show that's built for speed not power this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "Monkey Man" and "Sting"! Plus all the usual news and picks and questions and such! (What? Sometimes, this is the writeup.) And--and Nietzsche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we live, we're gonna live over and over, the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
It's a zesty, extra-large show this week, as everypne's favorite guest, Cati Glidwell (Ms. The Blonde In Front if you're nasty) is along for the ride! Join Cati, ElAhrai, and John as they review "Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire", "Dogman", "Spaceman", and "Luca"! Pluis all the newsbits fit to discuss, DVD picks, questions, answers and more! You should listen! Blue? What would possess a person to paint stained wood blue? What, were you raised on a tugboat?
It's March Madness! Not so much in the college basketball sense as the H.P. Lovecraft eldritch horror sense, as John and El'Ahrai provide reviews of "Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire" and "Late Night With the Devil" to challenge your sanity! Plus newsbits and stuff, y'know. You should listen! Xinlurgash, The Ever-Consuming demands it! Artistic talent runs through my family. In fact, it practically stampedes.
All ahead full to 2024! With the awards done and over, there will be no more looking back (for a while). This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The American Society of Magical Negroes" and "Driving Madeline"! Plus newsbits, video picks, and...a disproportionate amount of John Goodman? Inside each and every one of us is our one, true authentic swing. Something we was born with. Something that's ours and ours alone. Something that can't be learned...something that's got to be remembered.
Well, at long last the Oscarts have come and gone, and 2023 is in the rear view mirror once and for all. John and El'Ahrai have a postmortem discussion that leads to some...expected places. Plus! Reviews of "Love Lies Bleeding" and "How Not To Build A School in Haiti"! And all the other foolishness. Thanks again to everyone who stopped by the Twitch stream! Who abandoned Snoopy in the vestibule?
It's a somewhat special episode this week, as El'Ahrai, John, and everyone's favorite guest Cati Glidewell conduct a long examination of a single film: 1965' "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini"! Wait, I'm getting word in my ear that that is not the correct title. In fact, they're discussing "All of Us Strangers", a sensitive investigation of grief, loss, and love from 2023. We apologize for the error. Also! The unexpected, arguably unwelcome return of the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner, sponsored by Oven Mitts! Plus all the rest! Don't forget to stop by the Oscarcast live commentary starting at 6 Central Time this Sunday at twitch.tv/neonmoviebunker! You Navy boys have funny ideas. Okay for boy, but, not okay for girl.
The reviews must flow! One of the most anticipated movies of the year opens this week, and we've brought in a special guest to talk about it! Yes, The Blonde in Front herself, Cati Glidewell, has returned to discuss "Dune: Part Two", "The Book of Clarence", and "Drive-Away Dolls"! Doesn't that sound exciting?! Plus awards talk, electrifying physical media distribution news, and more! One day, a legend will be born. All of civilization depends on it.
Feeling irie? Well, we'll soon get that remedied. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Bob Marley: One Love" and "I.S.S.". Plus! The BAFTA Awards were distributed and it was a big night for "The Pope's Exorcist", and other newsbits and such. So have a listen! Of those who like to put their faith in mankind's inherent goodness, I have to ask, "Based on what, exactly?"
It's Valentine's Day, and love is in the air. (At least we hope that aroma is love.) This week, John and El'Ahrai give you the gift of reviews of "Madame Web", "Out of Darkness", and "Lisa Frankenstein"! Isn't that lovely? Plus! Speculation about the fate of "Coyote vs. Acme", possible casting rumors and so much more! There you have it, folks. Young love. Full of promise, full of hope, ignorant of reality.
The irresistable force of time once again meets the immovable object of podcast publishing, and from this clash is another episode launched! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Argylle" and "Imagining the Indian"! Which 25-year-old cult classic gets name-checked in one of the reveiws? Listen and find out! Plus! Speculation on Netflix's film future and...other stuff! I don't want to sound foolish, but remember love is what brought you here. And if you've trusted love this far, don't panic now. Trust it all the way.
Well, the Oscar nominations are the story of the day/week/month, and John and El'Ahrai are here to give you all the hard-hitting analysis you need and deseve. (They are incredulous that "Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour" was totally snubbed.) Plus! Reviews of "Freud's Last Session" and "Night Swim"! It's funny how you forget the things in life that make you happy.
There are movies that require reviewing. Luckily, we've got a couple of critics available to do just that! This week, El'Ahrai and John talk "The Beekeeper" and "Destroy All Neighbors"! Plus! The Windie Awards revealed, BAFTA nomination talk, and so much more! So listen and subscribe, or suffer the terrible pains of...FOMO. Well, I'm glad to hear that. Listen, I've been fatally poisoned, there's probably a psychopath heading over there to torture and kill you as we speak, but don't bother getting out of bed, I'll be there in a flash... Maybe you could fry me up a waffle or something, kay?
Well, after all the year-end hubbub, it's back to a regular show. Will John and El'Ahrai still remember how to do it? Listen and find out! This week features reviews of "Mean Girls" and "Origin", plus various newsy discussions, home media picks, and...more? They're protesting about the right to vote and the way they're treated in your state, so that's your problem and it's your responsibility and it's on your watch.
Get to hell, 2023! It's 2024's time to shine! This week, El'Ahrai and John peer into their crystal ball and deliver their lists of the Top 5 Most Anticipated Films of 2024! ("Despicable Me 4", you heard it here first.) Plus! Reviews of "Anyone But You" and "Ferrari"! Also, newsbits, DVD picks, the whole deal. You know you want to listen, so: listen! You look like a normal person, but actually you are the angel of death.
Well, the time has come! The Neon Movie Bunker 2023 Year-End Spectacuganza is HERE! Listen in as John, El'Ahrai, and everyone's favorite fifth Beatle, Cati Glidewell, reveal their lists of the Top Films of 2023! Thrill as something happens which has never occurred in the 17 previous Spectacuganzas! (Also, somehow, "Wish" was everybody's #2.) Plus! Reviews of "The Color Purple" and "Rebel Moon: Part One--A Child of Fire"! It's giant, so I hope you have snacks! The King James Bible is on there! Are you telling me you spent the summer reading the Bible? The reading list is optional. I've not read half the books on there!
Into every life, a little garbage must fall. In 2023, that garbage took all sorts of shapes and forms, and this week El'Ahrai and John look back on it as they enumerate their lists of the Top 5 Worst Movies of 2023! (Oh, the slanders they have for "Migration".) Plus! Reviews of "The Iron Claw", "Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom", and "The Boys in the Boat"! Plus newsbits, home video picks and so much more! You do your best thinking when you're not thinking at all. Hold still.
The end of 2023 creeps ever closer, and the movies are stacking up high! The week, John and El'Ahrai are joined once more by The Blonde in Front herself, Cati Glidewell, to review "American Fiction", "Wonka", and "Fool's Paradise"! Put that in your Christmas stocking, why don't you? Plus newsbits and questions and stuff and things! Don't forget to send in your top (and bottom) picks for the year! And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show", that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.
It's the most wonderful time of the year, or so the song goes. El'Ahrai and John would be hard-pressed to disagree, as evidenced by their reviews this week of "Maestro" and "Godzilla Minus One"! I don't really have much else to say about this show, other than that it's a good one and we think you'll like it! Also: the end of the year is coming! To have your voices heard on this year's Spectacuganza, send in your choices for the top films of 2023 as soon as you've decided! Now you listen to me, young lady! Even if we're horribly mangled, there'll be no sad faces on Christmas.
We are turning into the home stretch of 2023, and the prestige movies are getting thick on the ground! This week, John and El'Ahrai are joined once more by Cati Glidewell of The Blonde In Front to discuss "Poor Things", "Dream Scenario", and "Eileen"! How's that for a triple feature? Plus newsbits and the like, DVD picks, questions, and...just maybe...a personal shout-out to one new listener? You'll just have to listen to find out! They thought they could do it without being caught. But when we do something naughty, we are always caught. Then, we are punished. Punishment is absolute, punishment is good.
It's another great big giant show, as El'Ahrai and John welcome The Blonde in Front, Cati Glidewell herself, for another round of reviews! This week, the three of them talk "May December", "Saltburn", "Sharknado 5: Global Swarming", and "Thanksgiving"! (One of those may not--strictly speaking--be true.) But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "It's A Wonderful Knife" star Jane Widdop! So how about that! Plus newsbits, questions, video picks, and more! So give it a listen! You're not a Nazi, Jojo. You're a ten-year-old kid who likes dressing up in a funny uniform and wants to be part of a club.
Well, holiday shopping season is here again, and wouldn't you know it, John and El'Ahrai are here wtih recommendations for the movie lover in your life! (If someone on eBay claims they have the original Rosebud from "Citizen Kane", you hit Buy It Now and deal with the consequences later. That's just good sense.) Plus! Reviews of "The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes" and "It's A Wonderful Knife"! You have had many counterintuitive ideas over the years, but this by far the most counterintuitivest of them all, dude!
It's a double double feature this week! El'Ahrai and John have reviews of "The Marvels", "Suitable Flesh", "The Holdovers", and "Pig Killer"! It's a bonanza of opinions! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Pig Killer" writer/director Chad Ferrin! And we draw down the curtain on the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner. We thank Oven Mitts for their longtime sponsorship. So listen up, it's a good one. I somehow don't think Mr. Butterworth would appreciate that very much.
It's a significantly shorter show this week, as John and El'Ahrai deliver reviews of "The Persian Version" and "Common Ground"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Love Virtually" creators L.E. Staiman and Cheston Mizel! Doesn't that sound dreamy? Plus questions, home video picks, and...the penultimate Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts)?! Best wishes don't seem hardly enough, but I'd like to thank you. I do. I, I thank you for your companionship, your stamina, your horse sense, and a hundred and one laughs. I also enjoyed very much looking at your shining hair and your shining face.
It is an absolute whopper of a show this week, as El'Ahrai and John are joined once again by The Blonde In Front herself, Cati Glidewell, for discussion and review of "Priscilla" and "The Killer", plus a bonus review of "King of Killers"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with the programmers of the Black Harvest Film Festival! Plus rumblings from the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts), including some Release Date Shuffle talk! We're chock-full of stuff, so strap in! It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive.
Kind of a mixed bag between great big releases this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "She Came To Me" and "When Evil Lurks"! One is spooky, scary and disqueting. One is about class struggles in Brooklyn. I suppose you could put them in a blender and end up with a picture called "NIMBY", but I digress. Also! The Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts) rears its ugly head, and there are, y'know, other things. Plus! Guess which one of our hosts had his voice hideously mangled by the aftereffects of a cold! I have lived with gorillas! I know rage! You do not want me to go gorilla on you!
Well, we're back and we've got a big review this week: El'Ahrai and John discuss "Killers of the Flower Moon"! Is it a new masterpiece, or a Naked Emperor? Listen to the review and you tell us! We also have a review of "In the Fire", to boot! Plus we visit the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts), we report on a major retailer abandoning physical media, and more, more, MORE! I hate the ocean and I hate the beach and I hate the sun and--the grass and the trees--and I hate heat!
Well, it's quite the show this week! Special guest star Cati Glidewell--The Blonde in Front herself--joins John and El'Ahrai for an extended discussion of "The Exorcist: Believer"! Pazuzu doesn't stand a chance. (Nor does David Gordon Green.) Plus! Reviews of "Strange Way of Life/The Human Voice" and "Divinity"! So grab your holy water and listen! If you do it badly, I'll feel terrible. And if you do it well, I'll feel much worse.
The news is not quite so earth-shattering this week, but it's made up for with searing review quality. El'Ahrai and John review "The Kill Room" and "Cats of Malta"! Plus the usual mix of the weird, stupid, profound, and profane! So, y'know, you could listen. Satan has become an embarrassment to our progressive views.
BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! Yes, breaking news is what we have in the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts): one of the strikes is over! And that's all we have. [holds finger to earpiece] I'm being told that is, in fact, not all we have. There are reviews! Yes, John and El'Ahrai review "The Creator" and "Shaky Shivers"! One of them draws a rave! Plus, the usual silliness and whimsy. Sometimes it takes a wrongdoer to show you when you are doing wrong.
This week's show is not quite as lengthy as some recent episodes, but still, there's good value for your podcast-listening dollar! El'Ahrai and John review "A Haunting In Venice" and "Cobweb", so, y'know, that seems cool. Plus an early-early-early look at the 2023 Oscar race through the lens of fall film festival award winners (hi, Toronto) AND an announcement of a fantastic new avenue for the physical media enthusiast! That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard! That's totally non-sequitary!
People of Earth! We have detected a need for semi-cogent film content in the podcast sphere on your benighted orb. Unfortunately, all we have are these guys. This week John and El'Ahrai deliver unto you reviews of "Dumb Money" and "Rick and Morty Seasons 1-6"! So, y'know, that's something. There is also a lengthy discussion on the (few) merits and (numerous) faults with and of Rotten Tomatoes! So listen in--or BEWARE! I was playing golf, and the last thing I need is some woman dying slowly and loudly.
Well, will you look at that: it's a new show! From the outisde, it appears to be full of reviews, news, and other oddness! Look a little closer, and you'll see that El'Ahrai and John review "Bottoms" and "Meg 2: The Trench" this week! On top of all that, there is a brief visit to the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts), and...other things. So listen, why don't you, Mr. Bigshot? Stars blow up, and they shoot plasma and atoms out into space. Sometimes land on Earth. Nourish the soil. They become part of you. So, hold out your right hand and look at a star. Because there are atoms from stars that blew up eons ago that landed on this planet, and now they're in your hand.
A little of this, a little of that, some of those, some of these, some of them... Put it all together in an empanada of delight known as The Neon Movie Bunker! This week, John and El'Ahrai bring reviews of "birth/rebirth" and "Bad Things"! (One of those is really good!) Plus, we have all the week's events from the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts), other news, questions and stuff! So give a listen! You're unlikely to regret it! You're pretty strong for a little lady and you have a lot of hair on your lip. We don't like our waitresses to have hairy lips. So I'll tell you what, shave. Oh, and after you shave, you're fired.
Gather 'round, children, for The Neon Movie Bunker has risen again from the muck and the mire! This week, El'Ahrai and John bring you reviews of "Strays" and "That's a Wrap"! Plus, there is some wheel-spinning in the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts), a bit of lengthy legal discusion about A.I. and copyright (this can be summarized by one word: "scintillating") and more of the weirdness you've come to expect. So have a listen, won't you? Oh, Chance. When will you grow up? That bear could've eaten you. Don't you realize how painful that would've been...for the bear?
Howdy! This week's show features a LOT of talking about physical media. Also: movie reviews. Specifically, John and El'Ahrai discuss "Passages" and "Babylon 5: The Road Home". Also, a bit of strike talk in The Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner, sponsored by Oven Mitts, and a refernce is made to the Universsa New Yorker Cartoon Punchline. Who is the boss? You have to ask that? I'm the boss. Mommy is only the decision maker.
So, let's see what we have this week: well, El'Ahrai and John have reviews of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem" and "Talk To Me". We've got new adventures in the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts). We have, rather amazingly, NON-strike news. And there are other things. Things one cannot be told of, but only experience for oneself. Oooh, ominous. No, Mr. Guzman. I think you know that there's no such thing as an American anymore. No Hispanics, no Japanese, no blacks, no whites, no nothing. It's just rich people and poor people. The three of us are all rich, so we're on the same side.
Achtung! It's a spookyish good time this week, as John and El'Ahrai have reviews of "Haunted Mansion" and "Ghosts of the Void"! OOOOooooOOOoooo! Like I said, spookyish. Plus! We have ongoing tales from the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (sponsored by Oven Mitts)! And, y'know the weird/dumb stuff you've come to know and...well, you know it, that's something. That's fine. I'm gonna get a huge migraine in the parking lot in about 20 minutes.
Well, the biggest movie weekend of the year has come, and we're here to talk about it! Yes, El'Ahrai and John have reviews of "Oppenheimer", "Robot Monster", and a Count-Pointercount review of "Barbie"! Plus! More items from the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (Sponsored By Oven Mitts)! And DVD picks, questions, answers, and other stuff. There are two kinds of people who live in Alaska: the ones who are born here and the ones who come here to escape something else. I wasn't born here.
Holy hell, it's EPISODE 300! Started from the bottom, now we're...well, I'd rather not say. This week, John and El'Ahrai reviw "Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning--Part One" and "Insidious: The Red Door"! Plus! Everyone's favorite: Hollywood labor relations talk! A detour into illuminating QAnon (with a movie angle, of course)! And a bit of...gratitude? So come on and listen! That's exactly why I can't have you at the party, because you have repartee with everybody. You love repartee. All you wanna do is flit around the party, flirt with the moms. And then they all get mad and they turn on each other then they yell at Naomi then Naomi yells at me then they wont let their kids play with my kids. Then I have to play with my kid because my kids have no friends. I'm raising friendless children because of you! Do you understand?
Neither rain, nor traffic, nor absence of WiFi, shall stay these critics from their appointed rounds. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Joy Ride" and "Operation Black Ops"! Plus still more Hollywood labor relations talk, and other stuff! It's not like any mission is gonna be rougher than the last one, is it?
Hey, kids! Guess what time it is! That's right, it's time for the Annual Neon Movie Bunker Half-Year In Review Show! Thrill as John and El'Ahrai enumerate their Top 5 Movies of 2023 So Far (Somehow "Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken" snuck in just under the wire to take the top spot on both lists; don't try to explain it.) Plus! Reviews of "Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny" and "Bad Girl Boogey"! And, y'know, the other stuff! He'll buy that boat from that stupid boat catalog he's been making me look at for the last two months, and he will crash that boat off Catalina Island, and he will drown and die and seals will eat him!
First of all: yes, we know how we sound. We're working on it. Really. With that out of the way, let's get into the episode! El'Ahrai and John bring you piping-hot reviews of "No Hard Feelings" and "The Blackening"! Hooray! Plus labor relations talk, questions, answers, and more! He has one class in Human Sexuality, and now he's Harvey Milk.
It is a big, beefy episode this week, as John and El'Ahrai have a whole lot to tear into! Most prominent are reviews of "Asteroid City" and "The Flash"! Thre is also a lot of discourse on Hollywood labor practices (yes, including the WGA strike) and the delightfully terrible economics that have us all in their iron grip! Plus home video picks and a bit of bilateral interrogation! So dig in, and enjoy! We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away.
Audio problems be damned, we got a show to get out! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Sanctuary" and "Brooklyn 45'! Plus still more Hollywood labor relations talk, other newsbits, a couple of questions, and...stuff. News is like a ship. You take your hands off the wheel and it pulls hard to the left.
It's meaty, beaty, big and bouncy--yes, it's this week's show! John and El'Ahrai have returned once more, this time to review "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse" and "The Boogeyman"! Plus WGA strike newsbits, musings about ongoing death by captialism, and other fun things. You should listen, then tell your friends! What, because of hats and sunglasses? It's not a disguise, Hank. We look like ourselves at a baseball game.
Despite everything you've done--and don't think we don't know--El'Ahrai and John have returned once more to bring the light of new movie reviews into your lives. This week's subjects are "You Hurt My Feelings" and "Esme, My Love"! (Your secret challenge this week is to identify what multiple Oscar winner-shaped hole one of these films fills.) I never eat. Ever. In fact, I'm dead.
Becuase you've all been very, very good boys and girls and enbys, we have a new episode for you! This week, for their sins, John and El'Ahrai are here to talk to you about "Fast X" and "V/H/S/99"! Plus some WGA Strike news, a bit about the Cannes Film Festival, and all the other weirdness you like. So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.
Wouldn't it be neat if there was a new episode in this space? Well, guess what! We do have a new episode for you! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "BlackBerry" and "Fear"! One of them is highly praised, and the other one is "Fear"! Plus WGA Strike talk, and more! Death is like being pregnant; You're either are or you're not.
Despite all good sense, we're back with another episode! This week, John and El'Ahrai have reviews of "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret" and "65". So, you know, that's something. Plus ongoing WGA strike commentary, and...other stuff. Listen? I've always wanted to make love to an angry welder. I've dreamed of nothing else since I was a small boy.
It's another great show as El'Ahrai and John kick off the summer movie season with reviews of "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3" and "Evil Dead Rise"! Plus the usual newbits and ephemera you've come to know and love, all as we wait for the impending end of the world. "Cats" is the second-worst thing that ever happened to New York City.
Oh, boy, is it a humdinger of a show this week! John and El'Ahrai expound at length, with reviews of "Sisu" and "Beau Is Afraid"! Plus there is an extended discussion about the impending end of the world. It's an instant classic packed with information and opinions and even the occasional laugh, so strap in! Now it's traditional for the May Queen to bless our crops and livestock. And after the luck - you just inherited from that salt herring, we should all be doubly encouraged!
We're back, with a Count/Pointercount review of "Renfield"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with CineYouth Film Festival programmer Celese Wong! Plus the usual other stuff. There's a lot of ways to get to know a person. Eating her dead boyfriend's brains is one of the more unorthodox methods, but...
We have returned! And what do you know, we've got a new show for you. This week John and El'Ahrai review "The Super Mario Bros. Movie" and "Calamity of Snakes"! (One of these features a frankly shocking amount of reptile violence.) Plus the usual nonsense! Sure! This ain't the army, you know.
We are back in a flash this week! El'Ahrai and John have reviews of "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves" and "The Five Devils", so prepare yourself for that! Plus all the usual accoutrements. Do you know what I love about mud? It's clean and it's dirty at the same time.
OK, OK, yeah, whatever. John and ElAhrai are here to review "John Wick Chapter 4" and "Waco: American Apocalypse". Listen or don't. So you can either hand over your son or you can die screaming alongside him!
OK, first of all: Yes, we know this week's show sounds like it was recorded off of an AM radio that was stuck at the bottom of a deep, deep well. We apologize, and hope you are heartened by the knowledge that the parties responsible have been flogged, flayed, and fired out of a cannon into the sun. With that...unpleasantness...out of the way, we've got reviews! This week, El'Ahrai and John talk about "Shazam! Fury of the Gods" and "Let It Be Morning"! Plus, you know, the usual rest of things. Seal my fate tonight. I hate to have to cut the fun short, but the joke's wearing thin. Let the audience in. Let my opera BEGIN!
We've got sequels a-plenty on this week's show! John and El'Ahrai are in the house to review "Creed III" and "Scream VI"! Plus! A brief breakdown and postmortem of the 95th Oscars! All sorts of excitement, hurrah! Dude, just messing around! You look at me and you're like, "Why so dark? You're a disabled foster kid, you got it all!"
It's another show, callooh, callay! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre" and "Children of the Corn"! Plus! We announce our Oscars reaction livestream! Listen in for details! You want me to help you and the host of a morning show to commit murder?
Step aside, black and white. Get out of the way, hot and cold. This week's episode introduces a new entrant into the contrasts pantheon, as John and El'Ahrai review "Cocaine Bear" and "Jesus Revolution"! Take that, love and hate! Plus all the other usual silliness. Is this moron number one? Put moron number two on the phone.
Yeah, yeah. We got a show for you. El'Ahrai and John show up herein to review "Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey" and "Marlowe". Plus other stuff, including a neat evisceration of "All Quiet on the Western Front". Strap in. You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.
John and El'Ahrai are back with a show that is both a hoot and a holler. None of your half-measures here! The reviews this week are "Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania" and "Skinamarink"! So listen in and enjoy! Wait! I didn't steal anything! I was returning something I stole!
Yeah, whatever, new episode, fine. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Living" and "The Return of Swamp Thing". That's it. That's the writeup. I am not under any orders to make the world a better place.
It's another week! It's another show! That's all we know and all we need to know! This week, John and El'Ahrai provide reviews of "Infinity Pool" and "Sorry About the Demon". Plus! Lengthy discussion of the Oscar nominations! Doesn't that seem lovely? Oh Barney, you really do wear your heart on your sleeve. Now put it away, it's disgusting to look at.
Now that most of the year-end/year-start hoopla has died down, this week's show is a lean discussion of movies'n'stuff. El'Ahrai and John review "Missing" and "Good Night Oppy", plus the usual newsbits and the like for your listening pleasure. My dad doesn't know I stopped going to piano.
Let's look toward the future, shall we? This week, John and El'Ahrai peer at the year ahead and tell you their lists of the Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies of 2023! (Both of them fought tooth and nail to choose "The Expendables 4". Listen in to see who got it!) Plus! Reviews of "A Man Called Otto" and "Wildcat"! I know this is gonna sound kind of strange, but I've sort of been expecting you.
It's here! It's here! IT'S FINALLY HERE! Yes, the Neon Movie Bunker 2022 Year-End Spectacuganza has finally arrived! Thrill to El'Ahrai, John, and special guest Cati Glidewell of The Blonde in Front delivering their Top 10 lists for the year! (No one knows how they all, independently, came up with "Sonic the Hedgehog 2" as their top film, but the great thing about miracles is not having to explain them.) Plus! Reviews of "Women Talking" and "Roads Apart"! So come on! Get in here and listen already! I like boys! I like loud music! I like GYRATING! I'm 13, DEAL WITH IT!
The end of the year is here, and with it all the requisite looking-back festivities. As such, John and El'Ahrai are here with their Top 5 Worst movies of 2022! Live, laugh, and love your way through this trip down landmine-filled memory lane. Plus! Reviews of "Puss In Boots: The Last Wish" and "Strange World"! I'm not a person. I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food. I don't know what I am.
A plethora of holiday treats await you in this week's episode! El'Ahrai and John review "The Whale" and "Babylon"! So listen up for that good, good stuff! You can't trust Melanie. But, you can always trust Melanie to be Melanie.
Arguably the heaviest hitters of the year are here, and wouldn't you know, we've got a review of it! That's right, John and El'Ahrai are here to review "Avatar: The Way of Water" and "The Mean One"! Listen in to hear what they have to say! Plus! Awards talk! And: stuff! Can you close off your feelings so you don't get crippled by the moral ambiguity of your violent actions?
El'Ahrai and John have returned once more to enlighten, and just possibly entertain. This week sees reviews of "Violent Night" and "Empire of Light", all right all right. Plus! A lengthy opening discussion of Sight and Sound's 2022 Polls! Class isn't something you buy. Look at you, you've got on a 500-dollar suit and you're still a low-life.
The year is coming down to its home stretch, and John and El'Ahrai have reviews for you! This week, they talk "The Fabelmans" and "The Harbinger"! Isn't that a thrill? I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is. I've gotta get outta here.
It's holiday time around these parts, and what do we have for you? That's right, new reviews! This week, El'Ahrai and John talk "Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery" and "She Said"! So have a listen, why don't you? Weirdness? What should I watch for, hon? Wearing my clothes around the house?
A new episode arises! Reviews are here! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever" and "Jeepers Creepers Reborn"! Plus all the other good stuff you know and love! Okay, guys. There is a beautiful centaur sitting thoughtfully over there.
Here's something to make your nose hair curl: a new episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Weird: The Al Yankovic Story" and "Armageddeon Time". Doesn't that sound like just the best? So many times in my life I screwed up: I've talked when I should've listened, I've been harsh when I should've been tender.
Rejoice! John and El'Ahrai have new reviews for you! This week, "Tár" and "V/H/S 99" are under the microscope! Please to enjoy! An affair has more rules than a marriage.
Enough of your messing about, it's time for a new episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John offer reviews of "The Banshees of Inisherin" and "The Count Yorga Collection"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with the stars and creators of "Feed Me"! So listen up! Maybe you've just eaten too many hallucinogenic cactuses tonight, Hans.
Doesn't it seem like a great time for a new show? Well, you're in luck! We've got one for you! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Halloween Ends" and "The Woman King"! Hooray! I could tell you what's happening, but I don't know if it would really tell you what's happening.
The march of time continues apace! As such, we have a new episode for you! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Amsterdam" and "Hellraiser". Doesn't that sound like good, clean fun? But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Old Man" actor Marc Senter! So download and listen! There is nothing a man cannot do once he accepts the fact that there is no God.
It's all about one-word titles this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "Smile" and "Bros"! Doesn't that sound exciting? Plus all the usual things you've come to expect. You know what you are? You're like a gas leak. We don't see you, we don't smell you, and you're silently killing us all.
El'Ahrai and John have returned to enlighten you once again! OK, OK, they're here to talk about movies, let's not get too highfalutin'. This week, there are reviews of "Don't Worry Darling" and "Terrifier 2". So enjoy that! Hey, Michael! It's Halloween. Everyone's entitled to one good scare.
It's a new week, and a new season, and we've got a new show! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Blonde" and "The Invitation"! Yay! Plus, y'know, other stuff. I don't care how rich he is, as long as he has a yacht, his own private railroad car, and his own toothpaste.
The end of the movie year is its own thing, with its own rules. Blockbusters (to a degree) give way to prestige pictures with the changing of the seasons. As such, this week El'Ahrai and John bring you their lists of the Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies Until the End of the Year! (The fight over who got to use "Avatar: The Way of Water" will ring throughtout history.) Plus! Reviews of "Barbarian" and "Pearl"! So give a listen! I don't wanna move. I hate New Jersey.
This episode number is a perfect square. That has no bearing on the content, but it should be noted somewhere. This week, John and El'Ahrai come in hot with reviews of "Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul." and "Clerks III"! So enjoy that! If you place an object in a museum does that make this object a piece of art?
Hey, guess what! We've got a new episode for you. This week, El'Ahrai and John bring you reviews of "Three Thousand Years of Longing" and "Burial"! So please, listen and enjoy! Yeah, I heard an animal once do that, but then they rolled him over and he was dead.
In defiance of the laws of God and man, a new episode rises! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Fall" and "Glorious"! Is that enough for you? It is? Oh, good. If you're going to have a problem with stealing, then you're not going to like the rest of this conversation.
OK, before we start, we know the sound is a bit wonky on this one. That said, we have a new epsiode! El'Ahrai and John are back with reviews of "Bodies Bodies Bodies" and "The Burned Barn"! Plus, the greatest idea for an intrastudio crossover since "Freddy Vs. Jason"! So listen and learn! He only gave me our scenes. I never saw a complete script. After all I've done for that guy, and it's a lot that you don't even know about.
It's an action-packed show this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "Bullet Train" and "Allegoria"! But wait, there's more! We also have Part 2 of our interview with Steve Barton, a.k.a. Dread Central's Uncle Creepy! What an age in which we live! There's no stopping what can't be stopped, no killing what can't be killed.
And here we are, back with another episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "DC League of Super-Pets" and "Bloody Muscle Bodu Builder In Hell"! But wait, there's more! We also have the first half of an extensive interview with Steve Barton, a.k.a. Uncle Creepy from Dread Central! Isn't that delightful? The All-Father wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go and hide in a hole if you wish, but you won't live one instant longer. Your fate is fixed. Fear profits a man nothing.
It's our reasonably-sized anniversary 250th episode! Boggle in wonder and amazement that we've made it this far! Thrill to John and El'Ahrai reviewing "Nope" and "Marcel the Shell With Shoes On"! Squirm with...let's call it "delight"...as they discuss things! You won't hear an episode like this again until next week! Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
Here's a show! A show for you! About movies! Yay! This week. El'Ahrai and John review "Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris" and "Dual"! Hooray! Get hyped! Exclamation points! I literally don't understand what those words mean. I'd like to put in an application to get all my teeth extracted.
It's a fine show this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "Thor: Love and Thunder" and "ScarfFace". But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Neon Lights" writer/director Rouzbeh Heydari! Isn't that great? It's not that I don't love our little talks, it's just...I don't love them.
We're halfway through the year, so it's time for a look back! This week, El'Ahrai and John reveal their lists of the Top 5 Movies of 2022 So Far! Thrill to their encomiums to "Downton Abbey: A New Era"! Plus! Reviews of "Minions: The Rise of Gru" and "The Witch House"! Oh, how sweet of you Matthew, to keep my image next to your heart.
This week's show is. I think that sums it up quite nicely. John and El'Ahrai review "The Black Phone" and "True Romance"! So download and listen! Guys! Cut it out! This is really unprofessional!
It's a light episode this week, as El'Ahrai and John discuss "Lightyear" and "Lux Æterna"! Plus newsbits, home video picks, the usual. So listen! I am not a toy, I was made for soups, salads, maybe chili, and then the trash. Freedom!
Someone makes a return to their second-"favorite" Universal franchise this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "Jurassic World: Dominion" and "Friend of the World"! Plus all the usual lunacy you've come to know and...love? Is "love" the word we want here? Anyway, enjoy the episode. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.
Who is the podcast that won't cop out when there's danger all about? Neon Movie Bunker! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Crimes of the Future" and "Shaft"! We can dig it! Do you think that makes me less dangerous, or more dangerous?
Summer is in full swing, and the movies relect that! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Top Gun: Maverick" and "The Bob's Burgers Movie"! Good old-fashioned wholesome entertainment! So listen! Ow! Stop! It's not a metaphor if you actually do it!
We're back with yet another new episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Men" and "Umma"! That seems terrific! Speed. To be able to control it. To know that I can control something that's out of control.
Is it time? To floss? No, it is not. It is, in fact, time for a new episode. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Firestarter" and "The Sadness"! So please, give a listen (perhaps while flossing). Nice. Fine example for healthcare workers. Still, I suppose smoking serves a purpose. Thins the herd. Weeds out the stupid.
Lo, the seven thunders uttered and spake into existence a new episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John are here to bring you reviews of "The Bad Guys" and "Clean"! So listen and enjoy! I pity your wife if you think six minutes is forever.
800 is a big number. Just sayin'. This week, John and El'Ahrai are here to review "Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness" and "Love Cut"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "The Ravine" director Keoni Waxman! Doesn't that seem fantastic? Relax, old friend. If they assassinate me, all of Sparta goes to war. Pray they're that stupid. Pray we're that lucky.
One away from a milestone, El'Ahrai and John are back with a hot new episode! This week, they review "The Northman" and "The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent"! Doesn't that sound great? Well? Doesn't it? Aw, you don't know. I look in the mirror and the only thing I recognize, are these eyes. In this old man's face. You know sometimes I think I was either born too early or too late for my life.
Hello, all. It's time for another episode! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Dual" and "They Look Like People"! Doesn't that sound like fun? Well, doesn't it? Eh, you don't know. The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.
The boys are back again with a new episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John bring reviews of "Everything Everywhere All At Once" and "Premutos: The Fallen Angel"! Also stuff, and things. Oh, oh, oh. Come right in. Don't let the fact that my door's closed dissuade you in any way from entering my office.
The Oscars are over, so it's time to move on. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Morbius" and "The Business of Birth Control". Plus more of the bits that you love so much. That's very eloquent. I can't argue against anything you're saying. But then again, I don't have to, 'cause you're 12 years old.
A short sharp shock of a show this week, recorded just before the Oscar ceremony (and our Twitch livestream thereof). El'Ahrai and John review "The Lost City" and "Drive-In Retro Classics"! So please, give a listen! Well when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted!
As we wait for the Oscars to arrive, John and El'Ahrai are here to help you pass the time with reviews of "The Outfit" and "Love Jones"! Plus! Tune into our Twitch channel this Sunday to watch our Oscar reaction livestream! I gather up each sound you left behind and stretch them on our bed. Each night I breathe you and become high.
There's dirty, filthy things afoot in this week's show, as El'Ahrai and John review "X" and "Deep Water". Dirty, dirty, dirty. Also, get ready for our Oscars livestream on Twitch! Guys like me die caught. Guys like you die bloody.
You are not the kind of guy who would be at a
podcast like this at this time of the morning. Or maybe you are; I don't know you. But this week, John and El'Ahrai review "Drive My Car" and "Silent Night". So give a listen! There's a certain shabby nobility in failing all by myself.
Great big show this week! El'Ahrai and John come at you with reviews of "The Batman", "I Am Mortal", and "The Worst Person In The World"! Told you it was a big show! If this is what the end of the world looks like, at least we'll have front-row seats...
Wild adventure and bloody gore are on the menu this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "Uncharted"! Plus some newsbits and what-have-you. Look what your brother did to the door! Ain't he got no pride in his home?
Face front, true believer! We've got a top-notch episode for you. El'Ahrai and John review "Death on the Nile" and "The Cursed"! So listen and enjoy! He's not part of our lives, but we wish him luck with his.
It's time for another concise episode! (As opposed to all those other, flabby episodes.) This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Jackass Forever" and "Apex"! I can only see the world as it should be. And when it is not the imperfection stands out like the nose in the middle of a face. It...it makes most of life unbearable, but it is useful in the detection of crime.
If I were cleverer, I'd figure out some way to make a Groundhog Day joke here. Looks like I'm not that clever. Anyway, El'Ahrai and John review "Parallel Mothers" and "Superhost". Learning mechanics is easier than learning male psychology. You can figure out a bike, but you can never figure out a man.
It's another show! No, really! John and El'Ahrai are back to bring you reviews of "Belle" and "Experiment 53"! So listen in and enjoy! Timeline? This is no time to talk about time! We don't have the time!... What was I saying?
Year-ending and year-beginning festivities have come and gone, leaving us simply with reviews. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Scream" and "The 355"! Plus! Get hyped for our "RoboCop" watchalong on Twitch, this Wednesday! Details inside! This isn't a comedy, it's a horror film. People live, people die and you'd better start running.
As we look into a new year, anticipation starts to build for a number of projects! This week, John and El'Ahrai reveal their lists for the Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies of 2022! (The fight over who got to use "Minions: The Rise of Gru" was heated.) Plus! Reviews of "CODA" and "The King's Man"! I accept chaos. I don't know whether it accepts me.
It's finally time! The 2021 NEON MOVIE BUNKER YEAR-END SPECTACUGANZA! Thrill and boggle at El'Ahrai and John revealing their Top 10 lists for the year! Listen so you can argue! Plus! Reviews of "Red Rocket" and "Entropy"! What's her problem with me, anyway? She's the one with roses coming out of her...
Some movies are good. Some movies are great. And some movies stink like a burning, used diaper. This show is about that last group. Yes, this week, John and El'Ahrai enumerate their lists of the Top 5 Worst Movies of 2021! See what their respective #1s have in common! Plus! Reviews of "The Tragedy of Macbeth" and "Licorice Pizza"! No, it's not understood. You started by saying you'd do anything, but what I'm hearing is you think you've done everything.
'Tis the season for great big movies! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Matrix Resurrections" and "House of Gucci"! Plus other things and odd bits of silliness. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure.
Two top-flight reviews await you this week, as John and El'Ahrai talk "Spider-Man: No Way Home" and "Nightmare Alley"! That's it. That's the synopsis. It's easy to fool people when they're already fooling themselves.
It's a giant show this week, so let's get into it! El'Ahrai and John share reviews of "West Side Story", "Benedetta", "Don't Look Up", and "Creepshow: Season 2"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Werewolves Within" director Josh Ruben! So get downloading and listen! A naked American man stole my balloons.
You won't believe what we've got for you this week! (Yes, you will.) John and El'Ahrai are here with new reviews of "Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City" and "The Power of the Dog"! (Apparently it's animal week.) Does my face not remind you of what a grown man can do?
What are you thankful for? New movie reviews? Wow, us too! This week, El'Ahrai and John provide reviews of "Belfast" and "Black Friday"! Plus home video talk, questions, and everything else, so listen in! Well, there's the usual things: flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep.
This week is all about...g-g-g-ghosts! Yes, John and El'Ahrai are here to review "Ghostbusters: Afterlife" and "Prisoners of the Ghostland"! Doesn't that sound like a bit of spooky fun? Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
Stories of various royalties are on tap this week, as El'Ahrai and John bring reviews of "Spencer" and "White as Snow"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Introducing Jodea" writer/actress Chloe Traicos! I was reading about the stars. Talked about how the stars are the eyes of god. I think it's true, don't you?
Big time reviews on a big time show this week! John and El'Ahrai give you "Eternals", "Antlers", and "Last Night in Soho"! So strap in! He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing.
There are shows, and then there are SHOWS. This...is the first kind, frankly. But listen in and see if it's your kind of show. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Dune" and "The Scary of Sixty-first"! Plus other things. I can get you a brand-new TV by the end of the day. Nineteen inches. No strings attached.
It's another show packed with anticipated delights this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "Halloween Kills" and "The French Dispatch"! Plus all the other goodness you've come to expect! As the sound of the playgrounds faded, the despair set in. Very odd, what happens in a world without children's voices.
Do you want to hear about movies and this of that ilk? Then listen up and listen in! This week, El'Ahrai and John deliver reviews of "The Last Duel" and "The Incredible Shrinking Man"! Doesn't that sound fantastic? If you were actually a criminal, you'd be the best criminal in Los Angeles.
It's time for this week's show! Not next week's, not last week's, THIS WEEK'S SHOW! And on this week's show, John and El'Ahrai review "Titane" and "The Awakening"! Doesn't that sound exciting? Because I have the ability to understand facts, that makes me a liberal?
Sequels are the order of the day on this week's show! El'Ahrai and John review "No Time To Die" and "Venom: Let There Be Carnage"! Plus assorted other talk! You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.
Here we go again, talkin' movies. This week, John and El'Ahrai bring you reviews of "The Many Saints of Newark" and "Malignant"! So listen and learn something! Should things, at some point, go terribly wrong, it's good to have a place to go. You know, for a cup of tea.
Like that plant that just won't die, we're back with a new episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Eyes of Tammy Faye" and "Cold War Creatures: Four Films From Sam Katzman"! That should pretty much cover all bases, It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard...is what makes it great.
The fun times fade, leaving us in the throes of the serious movie season. As such, John and El'Ahrai look ahead to their Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies Until The End of the Year! ("Encanto", book it.) Plus! Reviews of "The Card Counter" and "Mondo Hollywoodland"! The secret theme of this episode is "shame"! He's gonna be major, even though he's from Canada.
Summer's fading, but movies are forever! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Candyman" and "Together"! So settle in and listen! They will say that I have shed innocent blood. What's blood for if not for shedding?
Here we are again, ready to tear up the world of movie reviewing! This week, John and El'Ahrai talk "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings" and "The Brotherhood of Satan" into your waiting earholes! Doesn't that sound enchanting? Are you crazy? Nobody stabs my bus! I'll tear you apart! Do you hear me? You get down here RIGHT NOW!
I'll bet you thought we couldn't come back after a show like last week's. Well, we're here to prove you wrong! El'Ahrai and John review "Reminiscence" and "The Water Man" this time around. So listen up! Um, I was gonna ask you who you think would win in a fight between...a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco.
It's a big, round number, so it's a great big show! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Annette", "Profile", "Free Guy", and "The Suicide Squad"! We'd like to thank everyone who's been with us in the past, and look forward to doing more in the future! It doesn't take a whiz to know that only a desperate man would drop his pants in living color on national television!
Feels like we're on the cusp of something, doesn't it? This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Jungle Cruise" and "Lucky"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Monuments" co-writer/director Jack C. Newell! And be sure to listen for details on how to watch our next show, recording live on Twitch! You don't have to worry about being sued or being ruined if this turns out to be what I think it is, because there won't be anybody here!
Crawling from the depths of depravity and tardiness, it's a new episode! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Joe Bell" and "Old"! Plus the rest of the content you've come to know and love so well. Hiya class, I'm your cool new teacher, not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda.
Tra la la! Sis-boom-bah! La ti dah! Other strings of vocalized syllables! This week, El'Ahrai and John are back again with reviews of "Space Jam: A New Legacy" and "Pig"! Oink oink oink. Hey. I'm making you two primaries on this disaster. Since you made no progress in the Klepto murder, I figure you're due.
Do you want reviews? Well, you've come to the right place. This week, John and El'Ahrai bring you "Zola" and "Fear Street: Part Two - 1978"! That should hold you over for a little while. Every man...every man has to go through hell to reach paradise.
Are we back from the Great Nothing? Well, the fact of this week's movies getting released would point to that. El'Ahrai and John review "Black Widow" and "The Forever Purge"! Plus! They recap their Top 5 Movies of 2021 So Far! So please, give a listen! Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.
Listen to the fevered, feeble gibberings of a broken mind on this week's show. So it's come to this: there's another "Fast & Furious" movie out. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "F9: The Fast Saga" and "Werewolves Within". H.P. Lovecraft never conceived of horrors like these. Larry, I'm gonna give us both twos back there. We weren't in any emotional state to putt.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's movie? Thou art more lovely and less explodey. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard" and "The Sparks Brothers"! So please, listen and enjoy. The Bible says to never take revenge, to leave it to the Lord. But I wasn't prepared to wait that long.
Here we are again, talking movies. John and El'Ahrai have returned, and it's time for another episode! This week, they review "In The Heights" and "Salvador Dali: In Search of Immortality"! Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.
Still at it! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Dream Horse" and "The Amusement Park"! Plus everything else you've come to know and tolerate! Darling, if I'm going to need to repeat myself a lot, this isn't going to work out.
We go sublime to ridiculous on this week's show, as John and El'Ahrai review "Cruella" and "Spare Parts"! Plus newsbits and other bits and bobs. Want to play a game of hide and clap?
There's a whole bunch of Criterion talk, both profound and absurd, on this week's episode, so strap in, won't you? El'Ahrai and John are coming around to give you reviews of "Army of the Dead" and "Nightmare Alley"! It's another fine addition to our canon. We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!
Summer movies are starting to trickle into theaters, and we've got reviews of 'em! This week, John and El'Ahrai talk about "A Quiet Place Part II" and "Spiral: From The Book Of Saw"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Dementia: Part II" actress Suzanne Voss! That seems like a good use of your time. In the end, nothing will change. Because everyone wants to live forever. They all think they have a chance at immortality, even though all the evidence is against it. They all think they will be the exception. But the truth is, for a few to be immortal, many must die.
What do you mean, late? This is the on-timeiest episode ever! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Wrath of Man" and "Undergods"! Plus all the usual strangeness you've come to know and love. Like you, I used to think the world was this great place where everybody lived by the same standards I did, then some kid with a nail showed me I was living in his world, a world where chaos rules not order, a world where righteousness is not rewarded.
Take 2 reviews, 1 interview, mix with a late night, and you've got this week's episode! John and El'Ahrai have cooked up reviews of "Limbo" and "The Marksman" this week. But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "For All Mankind" sound designers Vince Balunas and John Milo Train! So listen extra-carefully. No, it's nothing personal. Although, I don't like you as a person.
So much content, it's almost too much for this little box! The Oscars have come and gone, and we take a final look at them for this year! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Golden Arm" writers Ann Marie Allison and Jenna Milly! Plus! Reviews of "Together Together" and "Mortal Kombat"! Yeah, and I'd like to get back to my amassing as soon as possible, if you don't mind! Now when do I get paid?
It's another humdinger of an episode this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "In The Earth" and "Quick Change"! Plus they announce their plans to stream their reaction to the Oscars on Twitch! Listen in to learn how you can experience it for yourself! I'll tell you, right now...I'm in love with you. But, be that as it may, i am not here to force my twisted soul into your life.
Look, there are great episodes, and there are episodes that just need to get done. I leave it to you to decide which one this is. This week, El'Ahrai and John deliver reviews of "Thunder Force" and "Fukushima 50"! There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Once more, into the theaters! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "French Exit" and "Death Has Blue Eyes"! Doesn't that sound fun? Well, if that's how you feel about it, then that's how you feel about it. Is that how you feel about it?
Biff! Bam! Pow! On this week's episode, El'Ahrai and John tell you tales of big fights, with reviews of "Godzilla Vs. Kong" and "Nobody"! Doesn't that sound enticing? I do love you. I mean, love has nothing to do with this. Yes, I love you. I mean, that makes it very confusing, but I just don't think...I mean...you've heard of a no-win situation, haven't you?
Gather now children, and you shall hear movie reviews, interviews, and more! This week, John and El'Ahrai discuss "Zack Snyder's Justice League" and "Slaxx"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "The Stylist" director/co-writer Jill Gevargizian! Maybe it means I don't love them. Maybe it means I don't love you, I don't know. No one's going to tell me that I don't like them.
Spring forward, fall back, who cares, there's movies to discuss! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Father" and "Isle of the Dead"! Plus! Hear their discussion of the Oscar nominees! So listen in, if you know what's good for you! Yes, ma'am. Uh, this is... This is terrific. You're not gonna believe how well this is gonna turn out. It's gonna be great.
This episode reaches high highs and low lows, as John and El'Ahrai take you through their reviews of "Coming 2 America" and "Raya and the Last Dragon"! O, bliss! You will confine yourself to our royal suite at the Waldorf-Astoria.
You get a new episode! And you get a new episode! And you...get the idea. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Tom and Jerry" and "The Stylist"! Plus all the other bits and bobs you've come to love. So come listen! You look closely enough, you'll find that everything has a weak spot where it can break, sooner or later.
Fresh off the factory, loaded with new-show smell, it's a fresh episode! This week, John and El'Ahrai bring reviews of "Nomadland" and "The Vigil"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Wrong Turn" actors Dylan McTee and Adrian Favela! What are we doing? Consider it an experiment in probability theory.
Haven't you had enough? Well, fine. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Map of Tiny Perfect Things" and "Archenemy". But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "PVT CHAT" star Peter Vack! All of these good things for you! How do you live in New York and not have a single percocet?
John and El'Ahrai are back, with reviews of "Malcolm & Marie" and "Judas & The Black Messiah"! Lots of & talk on this week's show. But wait, there's more! We also have a roundtable discussion with some of the cast of "Judas & The Black Messiah", so listen up and listen good! Hey, fellas. Either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil.
Hot off the presses, it's another episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John provide reviews of "The Little Things" and "Host"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "PVT CHAT" writer/director Ben Hozie! Ain't life grand? That gives us 36 more years of school! I'll be bald and wrinkly by then!
I just did a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% that podcast. This week, John and El'Ahrai swoop in with reviews of "In and Of Itself" and "Southland Tales"! Plus the usual ridiculousnesses and such. When you're ugly, and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are... Beautiful people never know who to trust.
Stride into this brave new world with us! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Locked Down" and "Psycho Goreman"! But wait, there's more! We also have interviews with "Psycho Goreman" actor Steven Vlahos, and director Steven Kostanski! Doesn't that sound like fun? Where are they? Where are your friends now? Tell me about the loneliness of good, He-Man. Is it equal to the loneliness of evil?
The year-end/start hubbub is over, and it's time now to settle back into routine. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "The White Tiger" and "Once Upon a River"! Plus all the usual accoutrements. We're like the only place that New Jersey looks down on.
A new year brings thoughts of renewal, new life, and NEW MOVIES! This week, El'Ahrai and John deliver their lists of the Top 5 Most Anticipated Movies of 2021! (It's all about "Hotel Transylvania 4".) Plus! Reviews of "Wonder Woman 1984" and "Sound of Metal"! My phone that has e-mail doesn't leave a casserole dish in the sink for three days.
It's here! The 2020 Neon Movie Bunker Year-End SPECTACUGANZA! Yes, this week, John and El'Ahrai give you, our loyal listeners, their lists of the Top 10 Movies of 2020! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Breach" director John Suits! Plus! Reviews of "Let Them All Talk" and "News of the World"! This is the Academy Awards of protests and as far as I'm concerned it's an honor just to be nominated.
What's that smell? Did I step in something? Is someone burning oily hair? Or is it just this week's show? It's the latter, because it's time for the Top 5 Worst Movies of 2020 show! Yes, this week, El'Ahrai and John offer up their lists of the worst things they saw in 2020. (Spoiler alert: "The Prom" heads both lists.) Bur wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "What L:ies Below" actor Trey Tucker! Plus! Reviews of "Promising Young Woman" and "Soul"! We must never forget that we are human, and as humans we dream, and when we dream we dream of money.
Reviews, news, and interviews! (Oh, my.) This week, John and El'Ahrai deliver reviews of "Ma Rainey's Black Bottom" and "The Dark and the Wicked"! But wait, there's more! We also have interviews with "Skylines" actors Jonathan Howard and Daniel Bernhardt! But... but maybe he's only a little crazy like painters or composers or... or some of those men in Washington.
We're firmly lodged in December, so the reviews are getting bigger and better! This week, El'Ahrai and John discuss "Ammonite" and "Mank"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "The Beach House" writer/director Jeffrey A. Brown! Plus an apocalyptic news discussion and more! Thank you. But, in all honesty, the last three I backed over with my car. Luckily, they turned out to be drug dealers.
We've got piping-hot reviews for you this week! John and El'Ahrai review "Happiest Season" and "Black Bear"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Wander" director April Mullen! Plus silliness. I like Mass better in Latin. It's nicer when you don't know what they're saying.
It's Thanksgiving week, so have fun with that. This time around, El'Ahrai and John review "The Lego Star Wars Holiday Special" and "Leap of Faith: The Exorcist According to William Peter Blatty"! Yeah. It's a tough one, too. I looked it up on the Google.
November can be an odd month, falling as it does between scary, spooky October, and the Christmas cheer of December. This week's reviews reflect that dichotomy, as John and El'Ahrai talk "Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey" and "Freaky"! Plus news, video picks, and such. I was in love once. He was a hunter, I was a gatherer. It was quite the scandal. We fed each other berries, we danced. Then father bashed him on the head and traded me to your grandfather.
In this time of uncertainty, gain clarity on at least some matters by listening to this week's show. El'Ahrai and John bring you reviews of "On the Rocks" and "A Rainy Day in New York"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Echo Boomers" co-writer/director Seth Savoy! You have no idea how fortunate that makes you, liking people. Being liked. Having that facility. That lightness, that charm. I don't have it, I never did.
Hold your breath with us, won't you? This week, John and El'Ahrai review "What the Constitution Means To Me" and "Antebellum"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Triggered" director Alastair Orr! In hunting you, I have become you. I've destroyed what I set out to defend.
Trick or treat! For this Halloween episode, join El'Ahrai and John as they review "Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm" and "Cold Light of Day"! Doesn't that sound spooooooky? It seems to me the problems you worry yourself sick about never seem to materialize. It's the ones that catch you unexpectedly on a Wednesday afternoon that knock you sideways.
We do have an episode this week, who says we don't? John and El'Ahrai come through with reviews of "Kajillionaire" and "Scare Package", so doesn't that sound fun? There's something out there waiting for us, and it ain't no man. We're all gonna die.
Hello there! We are a podcast! Perhaps you would like to listen! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Hubie Halloween" and "The Last Starfighter"! You know what you got there? You got a fishhook in your finger. I'm right proud of you.
Just in the nick of time, here's another new episode! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Ava" and "The Tax Collector"! Plus more release date shuffling and other things. No, sir, I have no experience but I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.
There are few who'd deny that what I do I am the...top 100, maybe. Definitely top 1000. Anyway, we're back with another episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Trial of the Chicago 7" and "12 Hour Shift"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "The Call" actress Lin Shaye! This is the first line of a joke, right? A guy comes home to find his wife with a priest.
Psst...hey, buddy, you want a movie review show? Then step right over here and get yourself a brand new fully-loaded Neon Movie Bunker! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "The Nest" and "The Dancing Dogs of Dombrova"! So you going to listen, or what? You sit there, lecturing about our lives and so far, I have not witnessed one sign that you have any values of your own.
Back with more reviews, and back to home viewing. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "I'm Thinking Of Ending Things" and "Jesus Shows You The Way To The Highway"! It's a perfectly cromulent show. I've often thought that there should be beauty contests for the insides of bodies.
We begin taking our first tentative steps back to normalcy this week, as John and El'Ahrai review "Tenet" and "The Naked City"! Yay, theaters! Men my age dictate this war. Why should we be allowed to send our children to fight it?
Be excellent to each other. Start by listening to this week's episode! El'Ahrai and John provide reviews of "Bill & Ted Face the Music" and another variety of selections from the Fantasia Film Festival! Deacon, do you realize you have just stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders in San Dimas?
150 is a big, nifty number! Do we have a big, nifty show to suit it? You decide! This week, John and El'Ahrai have reviews of "The One and Only Ivan" and a variety of selections from the Fantasia Film Festival! Sounds pretty big and nifty to me. I don't pretend to be a critic, but lord knows I have a gut, and my gut tells me it's simply marvelous.
What does this fine summer day offer us? Well, El'Ahrai and John are back, and they review "Project Power" and "Gamera: The Complete Collection"! Doesn't that sound like fun? Also, there's only a little bit of existential despair in this week's episode, so listen closely! This city, this whole country, is a strip club. You've got people tossing the money, and people doing the dance.
There are many philosophical questions John and El'Ahrai attempt to answer on this week's show: Are the kids all right? Are the aliens all right? What can you say about this rash? Featuring reviews of "Boys State" and "Sputnik"! People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.
Reviews? We got 'em. This week, El'Ahrai and John talk "John Lewis: Good Trouble" and "Nothing But the Blood"! Doesn't that sound like a senses-shattering double feature? Sometimes I wonder...will God ever forgive us for what we've done to each other? Then I look around and I realize...God left this place a long time ago.
A short show, this week, but no less powerful for it! John and El'Ahrai proffer reviews of "Radioactive" and "James Cameron's Story of Science Fiction"! Plus all the other accessories you've come to expect! So you just figured you'd come here, to the most hostile environment known to men, with no training of any kind, and see how it went? What was going through your head?
Just in the nick of time, we're back with a new episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Palm Springs" and "The Room" (no, not that one)! Plus newsbits and more! Yay! Orphans always make the best recruits.
You've been waiting, well here it is--a new episode! This week, John and El'Ahrai present reviews of "The Old Guard" and "Bloodshot"! Plus all the other little bits that make life worth living! If you need me, just call. You know how to dial, don't you? You just put your finger in the hole and make tiny little circles.
Big doings in this episode! This week, El'Ahrai and John bring you their lists of the Top 5 Movies of 2020 So Far! Plus! Reviews of "Hamilton" and "Relic"! That's a good show! Ladies and gentlemen, I can envision a day when the brains of brilliant men can be kept alive in the bodies of dumb people.
Guess who's back? Yes! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga" and "Eric Andre: Legalize Everything". Plus all the usual other goodies. They would have stopped paying me. Seemed easier.
It's time to play the music! It's time to light the lights! It's time to get things started on the Neon Movie Bunker tonight! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Irresistible" and "Dream Demon"! Plus other things (you'll just have to listen to find out). We're all put to the test...but it never comes in the form or at the point we would prefer, does it?
We're back, and we're not depressed this time! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Da 5 Bloods" and "Lost in America". But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with actor/comedian Jamie Kennedy! I'm a god. I can shape-shift. I can create stuff out of nothingness. I can alter the fabric of reality. So please, quit being a knucklehead.
And so it came to pass that there was another episode. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The King of Staten Island" and "You Don't Nomi"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Becky" directors Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion! So, y'know, that's a thing. I need you to say the things I can't say, and you need me to do the things you can't do.
Yeah, we're back. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "The High Note" and "Creepshow: Season 1". Doctor, those that'll tell don't know, and those that know won't tell.
If you say nothing else about us, we're persistent. Week after week, we keep coming back with new episodes. Like this one! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Lovebirds" and "The Invisible Man"! Doesn't that sound delightful? Cash, I'm gonna make you a proposal. I can see that you'd wanna say no, but I wouldn't do that before you see what I'm offering you.
Somehow, they're keeping it going. This week, John and El'Ahrai deliver reviews of "Scoob!" and "Zombi Child"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Villain" actor Craig Fairbrass! C'mon, give a listen! You want to kill me, don't you, Tucker? Well, get a number and get in line.
Back again to batter your eardrums! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "How To Build A Girl" and "Fantasy Island". Also, there are things and stuff. It all gets ironed out. Money is an iron. Those creases all get smoothed out by money.
Short show! John and El'Ahrai review "Disneynature's Elephant" and "We Summon the Darkness"! A few other things, too. Love is the saddest thing when it goes away, as a song by Jobim goes.
Do you think we forgot about you? We did not. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Extraction" and "Six Moral Tales"! But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Tigers Are Not Afraid" writer/director Issa López! You saw me at the hospital, what you think I asked for that?
More time at home means more time for podcasts! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Never Rarely Sometimes Always" and "Vivarium"! Listen as you bake your bread! Oh, you know, the usual small talk. "What's new?" "How you been?" "How do you wanna die?"
Shelter in place with your favorite podcast pals! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Trolls World Tour" and "Goldie"! Doesn't that resemble normalcy? It's time to pay the piper. He's gonna reap what he sowed, and it sure ain't corn. Or wheat.
Creeping forward in this petty pace from day to day, still some intrepid souls find the calling to podcast. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Coffee & Kareem" and "The Hunt". Doesn't that sound like fun? There's only one rule in the jungle: when the lion's hungry, he eats!
Between washing your hands and washing your hands, why not allow a bit of distraction in the form of your favorite movie podcast? This week, El'Ahrai and John review "The Way Back" and "Shooting the Mafia". Doesn't that sound delightful? Wash your hands. I must have missed it; but by a happy mistake, I arrived at the Ministry three hours early.
Shelter-in-place with us for a while, won't you? This week, John and El'Ahrai provide reviews of "Portrait of a Lady on Fire" and "V.F.W." But wait, there's more! We also have an interview with "Vivarium" writer/director Lorcan Finnegan! Wash your hands. None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me!
Only the end of the world again. This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Onward" and "Tex Avery Screwball Classics Volume 1". Wash your hands. Let's find out if he's even a doctor before we go promoting him, okay?
With shutdowns all around, take some time to listen to two men talk in an uncomfortably small enclosed space. This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Greed" and "Ghost Killers Vs. Bloody Mary"! Ah, it was a simpler age. This is Ground Zero. This is my site. I can fix. I can fix this.