Wilhelm & the MacGuffin: Recent Episodes
Joe & Dee
Each episode, from a secret location in London, Joe and Dee discuss thematically-linked classic, epic or curious movies, ably assisted by producer Ruth and distracted by housecat #PERL.
This week we’re looking at movies centered around a “perfect” crime that isn’t Strangers on a Train (1955). We start with French crime à trois Les Diaboliques (1955) by Henri-Georges Clouzot. Next up is difficult to sympathise with Gwyneth Paltrow, married to Michael Douglas with a side helping of Viggo Mortensen in Andrew Davis’ A Perfect Murder (1998). We finish with Olivia Cooke explaining “the technique” to Anya-Taylor Joy in Cory Finley’s Thoroughbreds (2017), thick with horsey metaphor.
Also: French 50’s Chad. The 2CV. Diabolique (1996). Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap. Bound (1996). Dial M for Murder (1954). Aragorn has no dump stat. Nefarious or Douchebag? Basic Instinct (1992) minus the sex. Yorgos Lanthimos and The Favourite (2018). Chekov’s meat thermometer. Anton Yelchin’s swansong. Heavenly Creatures (1994). Emma. (2020). The New Mutants (2020). Me, Myself & Irene (2000). We play a game of “You Son of a Bitch, I’m In!”
Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)
This week we’re looking at second attempts at what Disney is now calling the “Marvel Legacy” universe. We start with James Mangold’s bloodier edit of The Wolverine (2013). Next up is The Rogue Cut of X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) which restores an entire subplot involving Anna Paquin’s character, Rogue. We finish with the PG-13 edit of Deadpool 2 (2018) - Once Upon a Deadpool - with Fred Savage standing in for us as a captive audience.
Also: The Snyder Cut (2021). Simon Bisley. Yeeting Stormtroopers. Altered Carbon (2018). Olivia Munn, Attack of the Show! Comic superfan vs. cartoon casual. Conservation of Ninjutsu. Evil Sexy Disco Catsuit. Legion (2017). Anna Paquin made bank. Wanted (2008). Poochie. Lobo. John Ottman. The New Mutants (2020). Bill Sienkiewicz. The Techno-organic virus. Mr. Sinister. We play a game of “With Great Power, Comes No Backstory”
Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)
This week we’re looking at big angry houses with guns. We start with the star-studded World War II caper Kelly’s Heroes (1970), behind enemy lines, chasing $16m in gold. Next up is a stranded Russian T-55 crew isolated on the hostile terrain of Afghanistan and learning about the Pashtunwali honor code in The Beast (1988). We finish with a day in the life of Percy Jackson as he joins the grizzled veterans of Brad Pitt’s Sherman crew in Fury (2014), killing Tigers and SS troopers.
Also: White Tiger (2012). Come and See (1985) and The Painted Bird (2019). Where Eagles Dare (1968). Joe does Lalo Schifrin. The Italian Job (1969) and Edge of Darkness (1985). Waterworld (1995). Charlie Wilson’s War (2007). Erick Avari. The Best Baldwin. Dale Dye. What shot JFK? End of Watch (2012). Jon Bernthal - intense sadboy. La cimetière américain de Colleville-sur-Mer. Greyhound (2020). 86ed. We play a game of “For You Tommy, Ze Var is Over”
Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)
This week we’re joined once again by Carlos Boellinger of Tin Cowboys Productions on the eve of the cinematic release of Clay’s Redemption (2020), a future noir fantasy film shot guerrilla style on the streets of London; so we’re discussing future noir films. We start with James Cameron’s The Terminator (1984). Next up is Paul Verhoeven’s RoboCop (1987). We finish with Steven Spielberg’s Minority Report (2002). The future looked pretty dark 30 years ago.
Also: Total Recall the autobiography. Alex Cox. Harlan Ellison. The Terminator comics. Skynet needs a better calendar. Starship Troopers (1997). Dredd (2012). Broken glass budgets. Soldier of Orange (1977). Showgirls (1995). Minority Report (2015). Spoilers for Brazil (1985), Total Recall (1990) and Repo Men (2010). Ubik. I, Robot (2004). Dinner for Schmucks (2010). Paycheck (2003). Streets of Fire (1984).
Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)
This week we’re looking at America’s favorite pastime: baseball. We start with John Badham’s The Bingo Long Travelling All-Stars & Motor Kings (1976) featuring Billy Dee Williams and James Earl Jones reclaiming the means of production. Next up is Barry Levinson’s The Natural (1984) with Robert Redford and Glenn Close in an American fairytale. We finish with Bennett Miller’s Moneyball (2011) with Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill proving that instincts can’t beat statistics.
Also: Sneakers (1992). Satchel Paige. Lovecraft Country (2020). Margaret Bourke-White. Jackie Robinson. 42 (2013). Silver Streak (1976). Fanfare for the Common Man. Eddie Waitkus. Joe Don Baker. Homer at the Bat. Fever Pitch (2005). Billy Beane. David Justice. Michael Lewis. SABR. Perry Mason (2020). Wes? Anderson? Fire in Babylon (2010). We play a game of “Let’s play, Sportsball!”
Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)
This week we’re looking at several animé movies that involve civil unrest. We start with Katsuhiro Ôtomo’s masterpiece Akira (1988), the pinnacle of animated city destruction porn. Next up is Hiroyuki Okiura’s alternate reality underground political thriller, Jin-Rô: The Wolf Brigade (1999), from a script by Mamoru Oshii. We finish with Rintaro’s movie adaptation of Osamu Tezuka’s 1949 manga of the same name, Metropolis (2001), where characters do not mesh well with architecture.
Also: Alejandro Jodorowsky is the origin of everything. Zot! Manga Entertainment. The Akira Bike Slide. Love, Death & Robots (2019). Ghost in the Shell (1995). Nani/nandate vs. Baka/bakana. Kerberos Saga. Le Petit Chaperon Rouge. Illang: The Wolf Brigade (2018). Sous les pavés. Anthropoid (2016). Killzone. Land of the Dead (2005). The Animatrix (2003). Fuckable robots. Alita: Battle Angel (2019). Steamboy (2004). Shikata ga nai. We play a game of “It’s a riot!”
Music: Sahara - Magnus Moone (license #09GJ)
This week we’re looking at films directed by stuntmen. We start with the grand-daddy of the stunt caper; Hal Needham, who doubled for Burt Reynolds before directing him in Hooper (1978), their second of six collaborations. Next up is Chad Stahelski who doubled for Brandon Lee in The Crow (1994) and Keanu Reeves in The Matrix (1999), leading to John Wick (2014). We finish with Stahelski’s uncredited co-director on Wick; David Leitch, who doubled for Brad Pitt and Matt Damon during his career and made his debut directing Atomic Blonde (2017).
Also: Peter Bogdanovich. Jock Mahoney. Jan-Michael Vincent’s chin. Damnation Alley (1977). Joe’s experience with stunt performers. Lexi Alexander. Keanu Reeves’ 3-gun drill. Up (2009). Mark Millar. Flipping the hero/villain dynamic. Shit sandwiches. Baba Yaga. Punching up Die Hard 4.0. Big Wick Energy. The Coldest City. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011). Filth (2013). No Way Out (1987). Haywire (2011). The Fun Police. Split (2016). Scott Adkins. We discuss some “Cunning Stunts”
This week we’re looking at superhero movies that were spun off from major franchises. We start with Jeannot Szwarc’s Supergirl (1984), where Helen Slater plays a very well-informed cousin to Superman. Next up is Tim Miller’s Deadpool (2016), with Ryan Reynolds breaking fourth walls like a meta wrecking ball. Last up is Cathy Yan’s Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey (2020), which got a raw deal on release because of COVID lockdown and deserves to be seen.
Also: Our hottest episode ever. The Bottle City of Kandor. Fly by wire. Die Hard Himbo! 80’s swamps. Kevin Conroy. Tom Petty reference. Green Lantern (2011). Deathstroke. Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011) title sequence. Leaked test footage. Haywire (2011). Exoskeleton by Shane Stadler. Suicide Squad (2016)’s trailer. Entitled douchebro. Rosie Perez. X-Men sucks. Tim Booth from James. We play a game of “You Spin Me Right Off”
This week we look at the future of incarceration. We start with John Carpenter’s nihilistic antihero Snake Plissken attempting to Escape From New York (1981). Next up is Stuart Gordon’s blue goo and Explodium-filled coed panopticon; Fortress (1992). We finish with Martin Campbell’s privately-run, cannibal island prison Absolom in No Escape (1994) which begs the question, how is this supposed to be profitable? SPOILERS: we spoil the end of Fortress discussing the alternate ending.
Also: Cribbing for GoldenEye (1995). Solid Snake. The Corman School. Frank Doubleday or Salacious B. Crumb? The Hunted (2003). Gerald Ford pratfall. Sepulveda Dam. Clifton Collins Jr., we owe you an apology. Panopticon. AAA C-movies. Prison Break (2005). Fear City: New York vs the Mafia (2020). AAA B-list casts. Speak & Spell. Joan Allen, we owe you an apology. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991). Kevin J. O’Connor. We play a game of “In the future…”
This week we cover four actors who died before the age of 30. We start with James Dean in George Stevens’ Texas oil epic Giant (1956), next up is River Phoenix in Gus Van Sant’s soporific retelling of Henry IV My Own Private Idaho (1991), then Brandon Lee in Dwight H. Little’s early American Hong Kong action attempt Rapid Fire (1992), and we finish with Anton Yelchin in Stephen Sommers’ supernatural detective film Odd Thomas (2013)
Also: Adam Driver. Dallas (1978). A24 and Blumhouse. Drunk actor secrets. Dennis Hopper. Kalifornia (1993). Stand By Me (1984). Sneakers (1992). Much Ado About Nothing (1993). Zen Neo. Sex tableaux. Last Days of American Crime (2020). Al Leong. Dustin Nguyen. Ong Bak (2003). Guns, lots of guns. Dean Koontz. Caper energy. The Sexy Lamp Test. The burden of heroics. We play a game of “The Many Onscreen Deaths of Al Leong”.
This week we look at Sidney Lumet’s NYPD corruption trilogy, starting with Serpico (1973) starring Al Pacino and based on the experiences of Frank Serpico. Next up is Prince of the City (1981) starring Treat Williams and based on the experiences of Robert Leuci. We finish with Q & A (1990) starring Nick Nolte and Timothy Hutton and based on the book by NY state Supreme Court judge Edwin Torres. 16 Blocks (2006) by Richard Donner gets a tangential mention.
Also: The Negotiator (1998) and Date Night (2010). Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013) as Coptopia. James Tolkan. The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. American Gangster (2007) and The French Connection (1971). The thin blue line. Killology. The Wire (2002). Charles S. Dutton. The Rampart scandal. David Morse, professional oak door. The Gauntlet (1977). We play a game of “You Have the Right...”
We revive a pre-lockdown theme we shelved while we tried to make sense of the world; Raymond Chandler’s iconic character of Philip Marlowe. We start with James Garner as barrel-chested Marlowe in Paul Bogart’s Marlowe (1969). Next up is Elliot Gould as schlubby, besuited Marlowe in Robert Altman’s The Long Goodbye (1973). We finish with Robert Mitchum as transposed to London, expat Marlowe in Michael Winner’s The Big Sleep (1978) and ask why, just, why?
Also: Amiability. The Rockford Files (1974). Chandler’s Ten Commandments. Bruce Lee. Rita Moreno. EGOTs. Leigh Brackett. The Bradbury Building. Inherent Vice (2014). Henry Gibson is always the bad guy. Arnold Goddamn Schwarzenegger. Joe’s Hemingway impression. Farewell My Lovely (1974). Death Wish (1974). Strong opinions about Michael Winner. Dempsey and Makepeace (1975). We play a game of “Name That Dick”.
After last time stuck inside, this week we’re enjoying the great outdoors. We start with How the West Was Won (1962) by Henry Hathaway, John Ford and George Marshall; an episodic epic in extra widescreen. Next up is Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) by Peter Weir; an ethereal horror mystery in the Australian outback. We finish with Paris, Texas (1984) by Wim Wenders; an intimate quest from the Texas desert to the L.A. urban sprawl and back.
Also: Cinerama. Alfred Newman. Underwater (2020). Red Dead Redemption 2, again! Intermission. The Hateful Eight (2015). Blazing Saddles (1974). Walkabout (1971). Pareidolia. The Ruins (2008). The Enigma of Amigara Fault. Quantum Leap (1989). Seven Psychopaths (2012). Lighting on film. Ry Cooder. U2’s The Joshua Tree. Crossroads (1986), not Crossroads (2002). Daddy issues. We play a game of “The Great Outdoors”.
After an extended absence and not one, but now two missing episodes we return under general lockdown to discuss prison escape movies. First up is King of Cool Steve McQueen and twitchtastic Dustin Hoffman in Papillon (1973). Next we have ol’ stoneyface himself Clint Eastwood making an Escape from Alcatraz (1979). We finish with the most beloved film from imdb’s top 250 - The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Also: Red Dead Redemption 2 and American Truck Simulator. Life (1999). Brubaker (1980). Bullitt (1968) vs. The Towering Inferno (1974). Joe says “penal system”. Andrew Robinson. Exit to Eden (1994). $1. Roger Deakins. My Vision - Jakatta (feat. Seal). Joe says “penal colony”. William Saddler. True Facts About Morgan Freeman. Escape from Butcher Bay. We play a game of “Films Inside Films”. Mean Machine (2001). Joe says “penal film”.
This week we’re looking at three scifi films that came out in 2018 with coincidentally strong parental themes. We start with Rpatz at the tender mercies of psycho-space nurse Juliette Binoche in High Life (2018). Next up is father-daughter extraterrestrial camping trip Prospect (2018), with a Shakespearian Pedro Pascal. We finish with the Swedish generation ship cruise liner Aniara (2018) adrift in space, based on the poem from 1956.
Also: Twiglet (2008). Silent Running (1972). Sunshine (2007). Bathos. Prospect, the original short. Anathem (2010). The Defiant Ones (1958). Dudievins by Ilona Balina. Passengers (2016). Saudade. Mentats and the Butlerian Jihad. Avenue 5 (2020). Hilarity ensues? Annihilation (2018). Dirac equation. We play a game of “The Ends of Existentialism” with outrageous French accents.
This week we’re settling in over the winter holidays with our go-to movies for mindless entertainment without a deeper meaning. We start with Dee’s choice of Flash Gordon (1980), a delight of set and costume design, then a main course of double Bruce Willis in Hudson Hawk (1991) and The Last Boy Scout (1991), chosen by Joe and finally a dessert of Muppet Treasure Island (1996) to satisfy Dee’s love of The Muppets.
Also: Spoffle. Tim Curry laughing. The Rocketeer (1991). George Harris. The Choke-me-daddy gun. With Nails by Richard E. Grant. The Cincinnati Kid (1965). Stuart Baird. Dick Butkus. The Muppet Movie (1979). SEAGULLS! (Stop it now). Mr Flibble. Cabin fever! Walter, the Muppet Mary Sue. We play a game of “Shane Black to the Future” and Joe wins a prize.
This week it’s our annual Yuletidemas episode. We start with First Blood (1982) based on the novel by David Morrell about a Vietnam veteran suffering from PTSD at Christmas time. Next we have Shane Black’s first time in the director’s chair with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) with a performance from Robert Downey Jr. that will lead to Iron Man. We finish with bros on the town farce fairy tale The Night Before (2017) with two out of the three leads retreading familiar performances.
Also: Jingle Joe. Yeet cannon. Kiss of Death (1995). If Chins Could Kill (again). The Survivors (1983) (not The Survivalist as Joe keeps referring to it). Korea vs. Vietnam. Mr. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. The rules of pulp noir. Double trope flip. Douche bro gross out. Jason Mantzoukas. This Is the End (2013). We play a game of “X-Mas or Not-Mas?” and Joe receives a Christmas miracle.
This week we’re looking at men pushed to their breaking points in a variety of systems. We start with John Travolta taking a museum hostage under the gaze of network TV in Mad City (1997). Next up is Denzel Washington taking an ER hostage in a broken healthcare system in John Q (2002). We finish with Jack O’Connell taking a TV studio hostage against a broken financial system in Money Monster (2016). A recurring question though - who really is the bad guy here?
Also: Falling Down (1993). He protec but he also attac. Ace in the Hole (1951). The Chase (1994). Neo-westerns. The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down. Tuck Lampley. Surprise mini-quiz! Arianna Huffington. Heart to heart. Dominic West is never trustworthy. Quants. Hackers (1995). We play a game of “Helsinki Syndrome” (as in Helsinki, Sweden).
A king’s duty. This week we’re looking at some of the most expensive and highest grossing epics not made in the US. We start with Fedor Bondarchuk’s Stalingrad (2013) about a tight-knit squad of Russian soldiers defending a key building during the siege of the city. Next up is both chapters of Baahulbahi: The Beginning (2015) and The Conclusion (2017) a joyous Tollywood epic based on childhood stories. We finish with the most expensive Chinese science fiction epic made so far: The Wandering Earth (2019), based on the book by Liu Cixin.
Also: 9th Company (2005). Kung Fu conscripts. Enemy at the Gates (2001). Bad dubs. Geopolitical politics. Propaganda. Hindu theology. Multi-dubs. Ambidextrose. CGI animals. Coming to America (1988). Lars Andersen archery. Sunshine (2007). Armageddon (1998). People vs. person. Chekhov’s vodka. Spock vs. Corbyn. Willow (1988). We play a game of “Mundane Epics”
We’re rounding up the season and taking in two films that have been mentioned a few times now. We start with childhood favourite of Joe’s; High Plains Drifter (1973), Clint Eastwood’s second time in the director’s chair. Next up is nineties cyberpunk western Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991), a macho action movie with very little going for it except perhaps being the middle chapter in the life of Gustavo Fring?
Also: #sixseasonsandamovie. Kitty Genovese. Bystander Effect. Play Misty for Me (1971). John Hillerman. The nemesis mirror. Syndicate. Miami Vice. The Last Boy Scout (1991). Hell or High Water (2017). BEN FOSTER. Bored of boobs. Dee rounds up the stats so far and we play a game of “Dee Forgot to Give This a Title”
This week we’re tackling giant movies. We start with Hitoshi Matsumoto as director and principal actor in surreal Japanese mockumentary Big Man Japan (2007) aka Dai Nipponjin. Next up is Norwegian found-footage film, and more Blair Witch than Blair Witch, Troll Hunter (2010). We finish with Anders Walter’s first feature film and study of the stages of grief through the medium of fantasy escapism I Kill Giants (2017).
Also: Dee does his best Don LaFontaine impression. Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958). Gantz. Ua. Attack on Titan (2013). Colossal (2016). Something is rotten in Norway. Back under the bridge. Rabies. Bridge to Terabithia (2007). Green Room (2015). Emotional support titan. Harry Coveleski. We play a game of “They Might Be Giants”
This week we’re looking at movies where the suburban encounters the big bad city. We start with Chris Columbus’ first feature film Adventures in Babysitting (1987), a trial run for Home Alone. Next up is Walter Hill directed Trespass (1992) with Ice T, Ice Cube but no Vanilla Ice, from a script by the people who wrote Back to the Future. We finish with straight-to-video in the UK Stephen Hopkins directed Judgment Night (1993), a cross between Predator 2 and Deliverance.
Also: Joe is full of energy. The D’ambiguity effect. Enemy Territory (1987). Eden Lake (2008). After Hours (1985). The Die Hard Connection. Code 1085. One False Move (1992). Harry Brown (2009). Two if by Sea (1996). Bodies on the street, money in the bank. Therapy? ? We play a game of "And That's a Rap".
This week Joe gets to indulge in his greatest passion in computer games; Borderlands. We start with Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) where we don’t need another hero. Next up is true feminist comic heroine Tank Girl (1995) fighting the patriarchy power system. We finish with low budget but enjoyably entertaining celebrity assassin-fest Bounty Killer (2013) punishing white collar crime after the downfall of society.
Also: Butt Stallion. Coober Pedy. Cloud Atlas (2012) and Reign of Fire (2002). Mad Max (2015) the video game. Mike Smith animation. Codehunters (2006). Arianne Phillips. Poochie the dog. Ice Pirates (1984). Kevin McNally. Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. Mad Moxxi.
This week we’re watching several films from the first half of Rutger Hauer’s career, starting with his first American movie Nighthawks (1981), next up is his chilling turn as the wandering vengeful spirit The Hitcher (1986), then we have a lot of fun watching brainless blind actioner Blind Fury (1989) and we finish on the creature-feature eco-horror mess that is Split Second (1992).
Also: Udo Kier. Cobra (1986). A force of nature and No Country for Old Men (2007). High Plains Drifter (1973). A tale of two Hannibal Lecters. All the Zatoichi. Assault of the Killer Bimbos (1988). Eddie Redmayne gets a spanking. Inverse Ninja Law. Universal Soldier (1992). A listener has a question. Hot Topic, again! Stephen Norrington. Shopping (1994). Tony Steedman. The Relic (1997). Mimic (1997). We play a game of “Representation Matters”. Kevin Smith on Superman Reborn.
Also also: Rutger Hauer Starfish Association
This week we’re looking at stop motion sequences and movies with prop maker Sarah Lovell. We start with Phil Tippett’s work on RoboCop 2 (1990) in a world on the cusp of CGI. Next up is precocious puppet Coraline (2009) seeking parental validation within the imagination of Neil Gaiman. We finish with pulp horror pastiche ParaNorman (2012) telling multi-layered stories that work for children and adults and maybe we’re the monsters?
Also: Consensual touching. Frank Miller, (sigh). Skyscraper (2018). Phil Tippett, dinosaur supervisor. RoboCop 2 - Cain robot. Henry Moore sculpture. Galyn Görg. Mime vs. Stop Motion. Pan’s Labyrinth (2006). Laika. 9 (2009). Reverse-mermaid. Non-Euclidean belly laughs. The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005). Dinosaur ghosts. Frankenweenie (2012). We play a game of “Stop! Motion time!”
This week we’re covering three Democratic Presidential movies. We start with Mike Nichols’ Primary Colors (1998) where John Travolta plays a philandering parody of Bill Clinton. Next up is Rod Lurie’s The Contender (2000) with Joan Allen exposing the gender double standard in American politics. We finish with George Clooney’s The Ides of March (2011), a tour de force from an all-star cast and the genesis of Beau Willimon’s Netflix series House of Cards.
Also: Who played JFK? Allison Janney. #beto. Edward Hopper. Fuckface Von Clownstick. Get Out (2017). Zombieland (2009). The White House bowling alley. The Chappaquiddick incident. Matt Damon’s Kavanaugh. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002). National service. Dead cat strategy. Cuddles and rainbows. Shepard Fairey. We play a game of “Hail to the Chief”
New series irregular Scarlett Woodhouse joins us to review three remakes and to answer whether they’re better than the originals. We start with Dee’s choice of Death Race 2000 (1975) / Death Race (2008); social commentaries with explodium™. Next up is Joe’s choice of Le Salaire de la Peur (1953) / Sorcerer (1977); intense drama in foreign lands with explodium™. We finish with Scar’s choice of Infernal Affairs (2002) / The Departed (2006); intimate personal dramas without explodium™.
Also: Carmageddon. Guy Smiley. The Meg (2018). Bread and circuses, tits and ass. Gamer (2009). Deadwood (2004). The Battle of Điện Biên Phủ. In the shadow of Star Wars. Colonial existentialism. A-Team montage. The Black Rock. Carter J. Burke. Deception and identity. The Age of Innocence (1993). Freud and the Irish. Panadol. Whitey Bulger. We play a game of “In Your Image”
This week we’re joined by screenplay writers Ossian Ritchie and Mass Roman to discuss parasites in movies. We start with low-budget psychotropic addiction parable Brain Damage (1988) and its charming animatronic Elmer. Next up is the 2003 Assembly Cut of David Fincher’s first feature Alien³ (1992) and its shiny CGI whippet-alien. Finally we have Alex Proyas’ mind-bending neo-noir Dark City (1998) and its bald corpses filled with squiggly blue lights.
Also: Black Shore (2019). Video rental nasties. Basket Case (1982). Society (1989). Denis Beauvais. Too Many Cooks. Psycho-sexual imagery. Withnail & I, in Space! Event Horizon (1997). Patrick Tatopoulos. House of Cards (1990). Flat-earthers might be right? The Rocketeer (1991). Ass to Ass (2000). We play a game of “I’ll Be Your Host”
This week we’re joined by wardrobe mistress Stacey Richards to discuss fashion and costume design. We start with book-nerd Audrey Hepburn being introduced to the fashion world by photographer Fred Astaire in Funny Face (1957). Next up, Milla Jovovich drops in on Bruce Willis with a big badda boom in The Fifth Element (1997). Finally we follow four different actors portraying the same character in Terry Gilliam’s The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009).
Also: The Devil Wears Prada (2006). Edith Head & Edna Mode. On-set alterations. Angels fancy dress. Bob Fosse. Born Sexy Yesterday. Concept art. The Dune Bible. The Fall (2006). Continuity magic. The secrets of weathering clothes. Tom Waits. Gwendoline Christie. Joe gets a Garfield joke. Constantine (2005). We play a game of “States of Undress”.
She’s just so quirky! This week we’ve chosen three movies that deconstruct the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope. We start with Kevin Smith’s very personal apology to Joey Lauren Adams in Chasing Amy (1997). Next up is a very vulnerable Jim Carrey and an effervescent Kate Winslet in Michel Gondry’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). We finish with the adorable Joseph Gordon-Levitt and elfin Zooey Deschanel in Marc Webb’s (500) Days of Summer (2009).
Also: Joe misses a Garfield joke. Shaving Ryan’s Privates. Rule 34. Denis Leary. Bi-erasure. Asshole tax. Call Me by Your Name (2017). Strangers in Paradise. Lacuna commercial. Garden State (2004). David Cross. New Girl (2011). Brick (2005). JGL speaks French. Clown Slap. The Graduate (1967). We play a game of “So quirky!” and then Dee tests Joe’s Replicant baseline.
This week we’re looking at films about real life career criminals, spending a lot of time behind bars. First up is The Who Films’ McVicar (1980) with Roger Daltry playing the eponymous McVicar from a script by McVicar based on the book by McVicar. Next we cover Mark “Chopper (2000)” Read, legendary Aussie stand-over man and potential toecutter. We finish on Tom Hardy’s spectacular portrayal of Britain’s most dangerous criminal: Charles Bronson (2008). Now sit down, and shut it!
Also: We do our Tom Hardy impressions. Scum (1979). Steven Berkoff - the villains’ villain. Stunt chests and penises. Spiny Norman. Ben Mendelsohn. I.D. (1995). .410 bore shotguns. How to spot a sociopath. Killing Them Softly (2012). Hunger (2008). René Magritte’s The Son of Man. 52 Blocks fighting style. Playing rhinos. Starred Up (2013). We play a game of “Slammer Time” after #PERL the cat settles down.
We choose to go to the moon this week. We start with Philip Kaufman’s three hour epic The Right Stuff (1983), detailing the ups and downs of the Mercury 7 star voyagers. Next up is the view from down under as Sam Neill keeps The Dish (2000) pointed at Apollo 11 from a sheep paddock. We finish with Damien Chazelle’s spiritual sequel to The Right Stuff, First Man (2008) taking us through Neil Armstrong’s time as a Gemini and Apollo astronaut and up to that first step.
Also: Pudknocking. Scott Glenn USMC. The Magical Negro trope. Beemans. Sally Rand. $1 Corvette. An idiot gets a well-deserved punch. From the Earth to the Moon (1998). The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994). Patrick Warburton. Black Sheep (2006). Space Cowboys (2000). Early Edition (1996). Neil Armstrong won’t eat his cereal. 1202 alarm. Apollo 11 (2019). GANGSTER SQUAD (2013). We play a game of “But who’s gonna fly it, kid?”
This week’s theme is modern-made films that have been converted into black and white. We start with Frank Darabont's third Stephen King adaptation The Mist (2007) with its double fuck-you ending. Next up is George Miller’s distillation of the Mad Max trilogy into Mad Max: Fury Road - Black & Chrome (2015), a film with a lot to say between the engine noises and explosions. We finish with the true swansong of the X-Men cinematic franchise: James Mangold’s Logan Noir (2017), a superhero western about a legend getting old in their own lifetime.
Also: Steven Soderbergh’s Raiders of the Lost Ark. Justice for Barb. Star wormwood - Chernobyl (2019). Michelle Forbes. No time to explain! Get in the car! M-m-m-monster Kill! Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Diglett. We swap blood types. Old Man Logan. Bill Sienkiewicz. SPOILER for The Wolverine (2013) about 75m in. Professor Xavier is a Jerk. Hudson Hawk (1991). We play a game of “They come in colors”
This week’s theme is classic heists from a more civilized era. We start with Jules Dassin’s Paris jewelry heist Rififi (1955), with Jean Servais as Tony le Stéphanois putting together a crew after five years inside. Next up is Stanley Kubrick’s racetrack heist The Killing (1956), with Sterling Hayden as Johnny Clay putting together a crew after five years inside. Finally we have psychedelic Turkish museum heist Topkapi (1964) with Melina Mercouri seducing her crew into doing anything she asks them to.
Also: The Man with the Golden Arm (1955). Does this smell like chloroform? Reservoir Dogs? Ocean’s Eight (2018). Point Blank (1967)/Payback (1999). Dennis Haysbert again. Marie Windsor. Officer Steve. Bawst’n. James Edwards. The floor is lava. Oil wrestling. Turkish moustache wrangler. Actor’s insurance. The Wax and the Furious. Suction and tension. We play a game of “Stop! Thief!” then do some honorable mentions.
This week we delve into the world of fanedits; recuts of original works to give them a whole new interpretation. We start with Bateman Begins: An American Psycho (2009) which blends several Christian Bale movies together to jarring effect. Next up is two Darren Aronofsky stories about performing arts spliced into one with Memories Alone (2013). Finally, we watch an edit that came from Nerdwriter1’s critique of Passengers (2016), which takes a single source and improves on a significant narrative issue by reordering the footage. (SPOILERS for Passengers)
Also: Batman Begins (2005) + American Psycho (2000) + The Machinist (2004) + The Dark Knight (2008). Christian rants. The green apple splatters. Men in the Cities. Jennifer Jason Leigh. The Wrestler (2008) + Black Swan (2010). Marisa Tomei. Baby Bucky. Rushing or dragging? Dennis Haysbert. Event Horizon (1997). Nice guy. Masters of Sex (2013). The Total Perspective Vortex. We play a game of “Mash Me Up”. Topher Grace’s Star Wars: Always.
This week we’re joined by student film director Elliott Mair to discuss films that blend horror and comedy together. First up is Sam Raimi’s sequel/remake to The Evil Dead - Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn (1987) with rubbery Bruce Campbell. Next up is Tom Hanks as an overstressed suburbanite with creepy neighbors in Joe Dante’s The ‘Burbs (1989). And we finish on full frontal male nudity and disco in Jim Hosking’s first feature The Greasy Strangler (2016). You’ll never look at a grapefruit the same way again.
Also: Bubba Ho-Tep (2002). If Chins Could Kill. Clash of the Titans (1981). Chainsaws. Ted Raimi. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). Corey Feldman. The Birds (1963). The Grand Massacre. Hyperdrive fail. The Money Pit (1986). Small Soldiers (1998). Dick Miller. Old Gregg. Grease (1978). An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn (2018). Tapioca pudding. Society (1989). Tropical Cop Tales. Honorable mentions, but no quiz. Teaser for My Name is Max.
This week we’re joined by legal alien abroad Bas Gentenaar to discuss films about aliens infiltrating society and passing themselves off as one of us. We start with John Carpenter’s searing critique of Reaganomics with They Live (1988). Next up is the American high school experience as metaphor for homogenising conformity factory in Robert Rodriguez’ The Faculty (1998) and finally Scarlett Johansson preys on the unsuspecting lads of Scotland in Jonathan Glazer’s adaptation of Under the Skin (2013).
Also: Obey. Consume. Eight O’Clock in the Morning. Capitalism kills. The Invaders (1967). The Puppet Masters (1951). Rule 34. Exposition grenades. Kill the Queen, save the planet. Nebrahoma. Disturbing Behavior (1999). Zoë Bell. Ain’t It Cool News. School bus Explodium™. Scarlett Johansson Falls Down. Changing Faces charity. BDD. Y’awrite hen? The Dreamers (2003). Darude, Sandstorm. Arrival (2016). Annihilation (2018). We play a game of “We Come In Peace”
This week we’re joined once again by queer anthropologist Dr. Jamie Lawson to cover zombie films with a difference. Bill Pullman goes on a quest to find a revolutionary anaesthetic from Haiti in The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988), based on the book by Wade Davis. Next up, Mrs. Frenchie’s cat is missing somewhere in the memetic hellscape of Pontypool (2008), based on the novel by Tony Burgess. And finally a very special young girl is besotted with Gemma Arterton in The Girl with All the Gifts (2016) based on the novel by Mike Carey (includes spoilers for both).
Also: Video game connections: Far Cry, Metal Gear & The Last of Us. Clairvius Narcisse. Jesus was not a Zombie. Snow Crash (again). Star Trek: Voyager: spirit animals. Welcome to Night Vale. Pontypool: the BBC radio play. The Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. Spell. Cerulean blue. Semantic saturation. Lawrence of Arabia (1962). Ophiocordyceps unilateralis. 28 Days Later (2002). George Monbiot. We play a game of “Brains?”
Returning guest and vampire scriptwriter Scarlett Woodhouse picks the theme of unconventional vampire movies. We start with Grace Jones tearing out hearts in Vamp (1986), a clear precursor to Robert Rodriguez’ From Dusk Till Dawn (1996). Next up is Chan-wook Park’s retelling of Thérèse Raquin with South Korean Catholic priest vampires - Thirst (2009). We finish in a pounding Berlin nightclub run by a vampire older than Dracula with Wir sind die Nacht (2010) and its three alternate endings.
Also: Donkey-dong Doug. Alex Cox Moviedrome. Gung Ho (1986). Bill? Ted? Grace Jones on Russell Harty. Bartendresses. Pamela S. Westmore. Monster fuckers. CW: self harm. Vampires read Dylan Thomas. CW: suicide. Snowpiercer (2013). A whole new world. The prototype lesbian vampire Carmilla. Vampires read Hemingway. Tropical Islands, Berlin. Twilight (2008). We play a game of “Blood, suck?”
This week we’re joined by a guest who builds and operates on warships so we’re watching movies to match - first up is the USS Nimitz, sent back in time to the eve of the attack on Pearl Harbour in The Final Countdown (1980). Next up we’re bound for the east coast of Russia on patrol with Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman on the USS Alabama in Crimson Tide (1995). We finish off aboard the HMS Surprise under lucky Captain Jack and his good doctor friend Stephen in Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)
Also: Wibbly-wobbly swirly-whirly timey-wimey thing.James Farentino. Explodium™. The Philadelphia Experiment (1984). Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) vs. Pearl Harbour (2001). Vasili Arkhipov. FOST. The Silver Surfer. “Mission killed”. Roll Tide. Lipizzaner stallions. Patrick O’Brian’s Aubrey-Maturin series. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003). He who will not be mentioned. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Leeroy Jenkins. We play a game of “War! Ships, what are they good for?” and Dave plugs HMS Prince of Wales and Drachinifel.
This week we watch three films depicting future sports - arena deathmatch, hunt the runner and wacky races. We travel to 2018 to watch the final matches of that season’s Rollerball (1975), with James Caan looking fairly clueless as he caves in his opponents’ heads. Next we’re whisked to the most popular French game show of the ‘80s; Le Prix du Danger (1983) where a man must run for his life like a Running Man (1987)… We finish during the qualifying stages of the fastest motorsport in the galaxy where Sweet JP is racing his way to Redline (2009) and there’s no time for subplots.
Also: The future’s bright, the future’s orange. The London Rockin’ Rollers. Roller Ball Murder in Esquire. Don’t hurt the dog. MySpace deletes the 13th century. Not now Kato! Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe. Jean Rougerie. Jean-Claude Dreyfus. The Running Man. Madhouse. Pole Position. Spider god. Explain spread betting to me? Ghost in the Shell (2017). Steamboy (2004). Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1986). We play a game of “Eyes on the Prize”
This week we look back at the last season’s worth of movies, but first we tidy up some loose ends. Joe picks The Thirteenth Floor (1999), a film about virtual nested realities that was overshadowed at the time by The Matrix and forces Craig Bierko and Gretchen Mol to question their realities. Dee picks Les Intouchables (2011), one of the most popular foreign-language films of the last decade, with François Cluzet and Omar Sy as a quadriplegic millionaire and a ghetto-smart carer respectively.
Also: #SixSeasonsandaMovie! Simulacron-3 (1964). Traci Lords amnesia. The Matrix Architect. GLaDOS. Great movie grampas. The Magnificent Seven (2016). Dark City (1998). Joseph Campbell’s monomyth. The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996). Mistranslations. “Pas de bras, pas de chocolat”. Ninja. Fever Pitch (2005). “Kiffer”. Joe can’t cry. Tetra Pak. Joe gets cake. We play a game of “21 Degrees” do some season stats and recap our highs and low-points from the season.
For our first attempt at a remote recording we are joined by anthropologist and queer sexologist Dr Jamie Lawson of the University of Bristol. First up is the Wachowski’s debut film Bound (1996) with Jennifer Tilly seducing Gina Gershon in a neo-noir crime drama. Next up is a mostly-improvised exploration of queer characters and safe spaces in John Cameron Mitchell’s Shortbus (2006). We finish with the emotionally-brutal made-for-TV HBO movie The Normal Heart (2014) with Mark Ruffalo portraying a gay activist during the early years of the HIV-AIDS crisis.
Also: Jamie likes Speed Racer (2008)? Assassins (1995). Susie Bright. Labrys. The C word. Rope (1948). Unexpected autofellatio. Justin Vivian Bond. Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001). Sex Education (2019). Larry Kramer. Boys in the Sand (1971). ACT UP. BPM (Beats per Minute) (2017). Angels in America (2003). Dr Linda Laubenstein. Behind the Candelabra (2013). Direct casting. Joe takes a big step and deserves cake. We play a game of “Is it Safe?”
This week we’re joined by Venezuelan indie director Carlos Boellinger of Tin Cowboys Productions to find Western tropes in modern crime dramas. We start with Michael Mann’s L.A. noir epic Heat (1995) with De Niro and Pacino facing off over coffee and bullets. Next up is Sylvester Stallone as the doughy and dim sheriff of a town of corrupt cops in James Mangold’s Cop Land (1997) with another all-star cast. Last up is Nicolas Winding Refn’s Cannes tour de force Drive (2011) with a strong but silent Ryan Gosling giving us a five-minute window, no questions asked.
Also: Clay’s Redemption (2019). Cop Hunter? Bye #PERL. Ambiguous heroes. Slick. The Chase (1994). The Doors (1991). That scene. Logan (2017). Ma! There’s a weird fucking stray cat outside! I am… the law! The Cowboy and the Kid. Ryan Gosling Still Won’t Eat His Cereal. Tick of the Clock. The Driver (1978). Hotline Miami. Hank Scorpio. Drive 2: Electric Boogaloo. Shane (1953). We play a game of “Yo dawg, I heard you liked Westerns in your Westerns”
This week we’re looking at episodes of TV by movie directors. First up is Columbo S01E03 - Murder by the Book by Steven Spielberg, written by Steven Bochco. Then, the season 2 finale of The West Wing S02E22 - Two Cathedrals by Thomas Schlamme, written by Aaron Sorkin. Next up is Community S01E23 - Modern Warfare by Justin Lin, written by Emily Cutler. We follow that with Breaking Bad S03E10 - Fly by Rian Johnson, written by Sam Caitlin and Moira Walley-Beckett. We finish with modern noir True Detective S01E04 - Who Goes There by Cary Joji Fukunaga, written by Nic Pizzolatto.
Also: Sportsball. Mrs Columbo. Rube Goldberg murders. Pedo-conferencing. Cathedral anatomy. Dee Dee Myers. Allison Janney’s White House press briefing. Piper down. #Sixseasonsandamovie. Reference overload. Los Pollos Hermanos. Time to die. Jessica Jones. Nihilism. Grapefruit breakfast. Elastic. The tracking shot. We play a game of “Just… one more thing.”
We’re joined by professional storyteller Tom Pleasant for three films that don’t follow a traditional narrative structure. SPOILERS throughout. We start with The Limey (1999) by Steven Soderbergh, with Terence Stamp telling Peter Fonda he’s coming. Next up is Memento (2000) by Christopher Nolan, with Guy Pearce lying to himself in fifteen minute increments. We finish with indie horror genre-defier Triangle (2009) and its Mobius strip structure and Melissa George attacking herselves with an ax.
Also: Geeeeeeeeeeeezer. Allan Graf. Kneel before Zod. Greendale Community College. Cock Trumps. Fury (2014). Stephen Tobolowsky, bing! Gunmen of the Apocalypse. We misdate Out of Sight (1998), Insomnia (2002), and L.A. Confidential (1997) which is apt for this week’s theme. Use of Weapons (1990). Knights of the Old Republic. Charon the ferryman. Final girl. A seagull shaman curse. Corpse disposal. We play a game of “Arse Backwards”
Scarlett Woodhouse, screenwriter and Marvel superfan, returns to complete our Marvel Cinematic Universe movie marathon with Phase 3; Captain America: Civil War (2016), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Black Panther (2018), Doctor Strange (2016), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018), and Avengers: Infinity War (2018).
Also: Again, too many references to mention and SPOILERS throughout. Dee challenges Scar/Joe to an epic Excelsior Quiz covering the entire MCU.
We’re joined by screenwriter and Marvel superfan Scarlett Woodhouse for the first part of an epic movie marathon covering the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe to date but using in-universe chronological order. This episode; Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), Iron Man (2008), Iron Man 2 (2010), The Incredible Hulk (2008), Thor (2011), The Avengers (2012), Iron Man 3 (2013), Thor: The Dark World (2013), Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2 (2017), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), and Ant-Man (2015).
Also: Too much to mention. Seriously. SPOILERS throughout. In some cases spoilers even from the comics these movies are based on - look, we’re three geeky superfans, ok?
We start with Kar-wai Wong’s seasonal dramatic epic 2046 (2004) which is more like an extended perfume commercial than a movie, just to get out of the way first. Then we jump into something much more fun with Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy in John Landis’ Trading Places (1983), a film originally written for Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor. We finish with Tim Burton’s second best gothic Christmas movie, Batman Returns (1992) with Michael Keaton, Michelle Pfeiffer and Danny DeVito.
Also: Microphone fail for Dee, but Joe does most of the talking this week. Crossing the line. Androids won’t eat cereal. Cloud Atlas (2012) and Jupiter Ascending (2015). Le Samouraï (1967). Depictions of a sex worker. Monkey? Monkey?! Strange Fruit. Margin Call (2011), The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) and The Big Short (2015). I’m Batman. Penguins with rockets. Feminism, but also, fetishism. Bat nipples. Doug Jones. We play a game of “Bah, humbug!” and Joe receives a podcast-relevant gift.
This week we’re joined by an editor from Nature magazine to talk some real, hard science. No science fantasy, no science fiction, these movies are pure science baby. First up is the fictionalised Scopes Trial adaptation Inherit the Wind (1960) to determine whether we are men or monkeys. Second up is endless rounds of decontamination in the face of The Andromeda Strain (1971) and its virulent alien nature. We finish on Jodie Foster listening intently to the chaos of interstellar static as she tries to make Contact (1997).
Also: Sixty-year-old ice cubes. Bewitched! Mr. Teeny. Hyper-chicken. The American psyche 3: Son of American psyche. Judas Goat. Jactitation. What a difference a day makes. Nuke it from orbit. In your face Resident Evil (2002). Chekov’s Nuke. Panspermia. Ryan Gosling Won’t Eat His Cereal. Alec Trevelyan. Stene stealing. We love William Fichtner. Einstein-Rosen bridge. Sphere (1998). We play a game of “Let’s Science the Shit Out of This!”
We have 90 minutes to record, do or die, no edits. We start with the proto boxer b-movie pic by Robert Wise The Set-Up (1949), a tight, taught thriller around the final fight of a retiring boxer hoping to escape the life in 72 minutes or less. Next up, Gary Cooper has 85 minutes to save his wife, his town and his own soul from the train arriving at High Noon (1952) - a film of infinite allegories. Last up, Christopher Walken gives Johnny Depp 90 minutes to kill a target, can he do it in the Nick of Time (1995)?
Also: Cat spoffle. Joe recites poetry. An RKO TKO. Pascal’s Wager. The Battlestar Galactica theme. John Wayne does a stupid. Once Upon a Time in the West (1968). Katy Jurado. Corset dynamics. Were you ever a Nazi? Mm, porridge. 4:3 or letterbox? The American psyche 2: Electric Boogaloo. Joe needs more coffee. Hotel Bonaventure. The Parallax View (1974). Walken on Walken. Snow Crash. Blandy McBlandface or Jim Beige? We play a game of “Oners”.
The same story told by three different directors in three different settings, we jump all over the place covering Yojimbo (1961), Django (1966) and Last Man Standing (1996) by Akira Kurosawa, Sergio Corbucci and Walter Hill respectively. Each follows the same basic plot of a wandering, dangerous man seeing an opportunity to ferment chaos in an isolated town between two gangs. SPOILERS for all three as they’re essentially the same story.
Also: Dashiell Hammett. A wolf with fleas. Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018) is too shiny. She’s the brains. Go home to your mother!Sukiyaki Western Django (2007). Damp squids. Our best General Esperanza impressions. Desperado (1995). The American psyche. The Rock is indestructible. Django Reinhardt.Colt 45. Macho punctuation. Tumbleweed wranglers. We play a game of “One Man in a World…”
How do you feel? This week we look at very specific movie dystopias with our most ardent listener. We start with the 2004 buff-up of George Lucas’ expanded student film THX 1138 (1971) and everyone is on drugs. Next up is the sumptuous first time out of the gate for Andrew Niccol with Gattaca (1997) bringing its sharp fashions, beautiful lighting and genetically perfect cast (SPOILERS). We finish with Kurt Wimmer’s budget dystopia where gun kata and Christian Bale crying is totally normal - Equilibrium (2002), with a SPOILER zone included (from 66m45s to 68m52s)
Also: American Zoetrope. Call me THX. The Great Escape (1963). Pandorum (2009) space zombies. Nine Inch Nails’ The Downward Spiral. Wankershim. Fascistic architecture. Pre-existing conditions. Countless cameos. Alphabet actor Dean Norris. The Booth at the End (2011). Screw the Nether. The only cereal available in the future - Chocapic. Gun kata. Fascistic fashion. #blessed. We play a game of “Thank you for complying, citizen”
This week’s theme is getting your peanut butter in my chocolate. We start with The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (1976), written by Holmes superfan Nicholas Meyer, with Dr. Sigmund Freud going toe-to-toe with Sherlock Holmes - Together, they fight crime! Next up is a gang of plucky American kids against the Universal Monsters roster in The Monster Squad (1987) from a co-script by Shane Black. Lastly we have Europe poised on the brink of war and only fictional characters can save us - assemble The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003), full speed ahead and damn the anachronisms!
Also: Joe eats a cookie. Art Nouveau. Best Bonds. A mental erection for Baroness Bomburst. A very particular set of skills. Albanian scapegoats from Wag the Dog (1997). Extra credit: Time After Time (1979). Tom Woodruff Jr. vs. Doug Jones. Alucard. #monsterfuckers and Mad Titan Dong. The Mummy (2017), sans dub. Anno Dracula. Fantomas vs. The Phantom. Melinda Gebbie. Penny Dreadful (2014 - 2016). We play a game of “Quis miscuit ipsos miscuites?”
We start this week with the original stoner comedy Cheech & Chong: Up In Smoke (1978) which meanders about a bit and is basically harmless and… what was I saying, man? Is that pizza? Then its face-a-palooza with Amy Heckerling’s debut film Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) including Sean Penn playing a stoner-surfer and Phoebe Cates taking her bikini off. Lastly, but certainly not leastly, adults be warned - there is a new drug menace sweeping the nation and this instructional musical PSA will tell you all about the dangers of Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005). Won’t somebody think of the children?!
Also: Dee lists weed slang. American catnip is the good shit. Korn - Earache My Eye. Off topic on The Money Pit (1986). $12.50 to see Van Halen? Five point plan. Joe does Sade. Guitar smash! Off topic on The Last Boy Scout (1991). James Russo. The Galleria? Pall-malls. Randolph Scott! Neve Campbell can really dance. Joe does Walken, Dee does Wahlberg. Buddy Christ. Cat whispering. Detective Mittens. Off topic with Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (1989). We play a game of “Rolling Stoners”
No guest this week, but in response to the Kavanaugh hearings we go back to a time of screwball romcoms. First up is It Happened One Night (1934), the Frank Capra masterpiece that sets the tone for all subsequent screwball comedies with a whip smart Claudette Colbert sparring with Clark Gable. Next up Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant and James Stewart are involved in a love intersection in The Philadelphia Story (1940). We finish with Audrey Hepburn’s breakthrough role alongside Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday (1953) (SPOILERS for the ending)
Also: The MPPDA/MPAA clamps down on fun. James Caan has his eye on the prize. It’s a Wonderful Piece of Shit. Meet Cute explained. The origins of Bugs Bunny? Hulk smash Catholic church! The crosshairs of love. A Star Is Born (2018). Was she yare? The most famous Belgian. Cinecitta. Ciao! Anita Ekberg/Gina Lollobrigida. The Wood Beast of Arboria. Dalton Trumbo. Must we go tropical? Jim Parsons. Dee rage quits The Big Bang Theory. We play a game of “Screwball or Foul ball?”
Warning: We messed up the microphone settings so Joe sounds quieter than usual.
No guest this week so we selected a topic from the filler pile - Things In Spaaaaaaaaaace. First up is Waiting for Godot in space and John Carpenter’s first film: Dark Star (1974) with clear Catch 22 style banality in extreme circumstances. Next up is Peter Hyam’s High Noon in space: Outland (1981) with stunning performances, interior set design and music but some shaky external space footage. We finish with a guilty pleasure comfort movie in Stuart Gordon’s truckers in space movie: Space Truckers (1996) it might be 8% on Rotten Tomatoes but we give it three square pigs out of five.
Also: From the bedroom to the boardroom. Five Finger Fillet. Malcolm McLean. Red Dwarf. Disney’s The Black Hole (1979). The central flaw of Silent Running (1972). Shpaesh Marshall Connery on Eh-oh! Villains like Berkoff. Polydichloric Euthimal. Jack Bauer on Countdown. Space golf, space squash and space fighting. Explosive decompression mythbusted. Introvision explained. 2000 AD’s Ace Trucking Co. Optic Nerve Studios’ Glenn Hetrick. The Guyver. Hypnotoad! We play a game of “That’s No Moon”
This week we are joined by Elizabeth Stormfield, specialist in Japanese folklore, to cover three films invoking the spirits. First up is young adult fantasy film The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008) with a young Freddie Highmore pulling double duty as troubled twins Simon and Jared. Next up is Mamoru Hosoda’s award-winning Japanese animated film The Boy and the Beast (2015) / Bakemono no Ko, a tale of two worlds, two fathers and an orphan boy struggling to find his place between both. Lastly we discuss stop-animation quest epic Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) with a Hollywood A-list voice cast, a deep heart and a strong family message at its core.
Also: European folklore crossing the Atlantic. Divorce escapism. Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy Book (1999). Photographing Fairies (1997). The Faerie Abu Ghraib. F*ck you Chris Carter. Telegraphing Moby Dick. Japanese micro seasons. Bakana! Yōkai. Katana etiquette. Sean William Scott. Waaaaah! Daughters of the Moon King. Unfortunate whitewashing. Eye theft. Noh theatre. Bon Festival. Takiyasha the Witch and the Skeleton Spectre. We play a game of “80% Proof”
This week we are joined by cold war civil defence expert Dr. Jacquelyn Arnold for her chosen subject of post-nuclear war survival. First up is L. Q. Jones’ adaptation of Harlan Ellison’s story A Boy and His Dog (1974) with its questionable morality and misogyny but likely realism. Then… deep breath… the most harrowing film ever made? Mick Jackson’s Threads (1984) (SPOILERS) is an almost fatal dose of realism in the face of the nuclear apocalypse. Watch it with a friend. We finish with Z for Zachariah (2015) love triangle between Margot Robbie, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Chris Pine, deviating from the sinister abusive dynamic of the original book. (SPOILERS for both the film and the book). Also, SPOILERS for The Book of Eli (2010)
Also: Baby Don Johnson. Fallout the movie. Psychic dogs. We Happy Few. Over the hill. The Prisoner (1967). Balls the size of watermelons. BioShock. FIlms more depressing than Threads: When the Wind Blows (1986), Testament (1983). BIKINI state. On the Beach (1959). Die alone in a hole. Protect & Survive. Cars (2006) and Bagpuss (1974). A girl and her dog. Religion versus Science. Candles, how do they work? RadAway. We play a game of “Apocalypse Wow!”
This week shark-fanatic Kate Hearn picks the theme of sea monsters, starting with the biggest, baddest great white shark around - Bruce himself - in Steven Spielberg’s Jaws (1975) SPOILERS INCLUDED. We look at the characterisations, the performances, the context, the legacy and the trivia. Then, from the same director as Titanic and Avatar (according to the DVD) we have Piranha II: The Spawning (1981) which we all struggle to be nice about but do extract a few choice moments. Finally, George P. Cosmatos turns a lot of De Laurentis money into a mashup of other people’s movies in Leviathan (1989) with a great cast, crew, special effects, composer, writers - none of whom seem to have brought anything original.
Also: The Meg (2018). Lips and assholes. Martha’s Vineyard? Martha! We compare scars. Joe goes off on Pan & Scan again. We discover the hill that Dee will die on: “This is what happens…”. Boop the snoot. “As the money goes up, the art goes down.” Do police boats have sirens? Getting jiggy in a dinghy. Sexism at the bottom of the ocean. Shooting dry for wet. WTF sharks?! Harbinger Down (2015). We play a game of “Wait, seriously?”
Seb recounts how he got into show business - doing voices on Spitting Image.
Also: Titus Welliver. Robert De Niro. Al Pacino. Christopher Walken. Foo Fighters. More Cowbell. Michael Caine. Gary Lineker. Mark Wahlberg. Harrison Ford. Michael Keaton. Josh Hartnett. Stephen Fry. The Wire. Halt and Catch Fire. Don LaFontaine.
This week we are joined by actor and voice impersonator Sebastian Knapp to discuss the influences behind Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs (1992) - SPOILER WARNING. First up is the original The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974), a solid, no nonsense, authentic Sunday afternoon watch with Robert Shaw’s gang sparring against transit cop Walter Matthau. Next, John Carpenter’s under-appreciated (at the time) exercise in blending empty agoraphobia and paranoid claustrophobia The Thing (1982) puts eight guys in a room and gives them a reason to chop each other up. We finish with the one film that is less of an influence and more like a template, Ringo Lam’s City on Fire (1987), with direct plot and scene lifts.
Also: Dee starts with a Pat Roach apology. The Canadian TV remake beats the all-star remake. New York isn’t just a place, it’s an attitude. Playing ping pong. Rob Bottin and Stan Winston team up to make you sick. Swedish ≠ Norwegian. The DFA fade. Joe mistakes the matte painting work of Albert Whitlock for Mike Pangrazio. The Thing video game. “Tracking’s touchy”. Shot for shot copies. Toby. Toby. Toby? We’re looking for a Buscemi type. Joe’s dog might be a Thing. Doesthedogdie.com. We play a game of “Tarantin-oh-that’s-where-I-recognise-it-from!” We fall down a Die Hard tangent.
This week we are joined by military historian Dr. Lynette Nusbacher to discuss three 70’s films set in the Napoleonic era. We start with Sergei Bondarchuk’s expensive and Soviet-approved epic Waterloo (1970), pitting scenery-chewing Rod Steiger against Christopher Plummer and his eyebrow, with surely the most bodies on screen we’ve ever seen. Joe’s choice of Stanley Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon (1975) is a gruelling three hours of beautiful tableaux and a somewhat blank performance from Ryan O’Neal in his quest to reach the gentleman sphere. We finish with Ridley Scott’s first feature film The Duellists (1977) visually inspired by Barry Lyndon, narratively inspired by Joseph Conrad, following two cavalry officers honor-bound into repeatedly duelling throughout the course of Napoleon’s campaigns.
Also: The world still revolves around Orson Welles. Napoleon wasn’t as short as we’ve been led to believe. 200 year-old spoilers. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Lynette Godwins Napoleon. “By God, I’ve lost my leg, sir.” Napoleon always wins, except when it rains. Eyes Wide Barry Lyndon Shut. The Whiffenpoofs. Lynette pulls focus over both of us. The 1595 Club. The Mark 1 eyeball. It all goes a bit Jane Austen. Green Baize Vampire spotted. We play a game of “Yes, Commander” and somehow we don’t mention Sharpe once. Lynette corrects ABBA.
This week we have Will Hunter from London occult bookstore Treadwell’s talking all things occult, pagan and esotericism. We start with In The Mouth of Madness (1994), John Carpenter’s third part to his unofficial Apocalypse trilogy and surely the best H.P. Lovecraft movie to date, leaving us questioning the nature of our own reality. Will completely opens our eyes to the real meaning and depth in Stanley Kubrick’s final film Eyes Wide Shut (1999) revealing that we weren’t all watching the same movie. Ben Wheatley cobbles together Get Carter (1971) meets Lovecraft by way of The Wicker Man (1973) in Kill List (2011), our third film of the week, and Will is clearly unimpressed with the random hodgepodge of occult elements involved.
Also: Indescribable horror is shorthand for writer apathy. Vagina-faced tentacle monsters. Fiction impinging upon reality. “Diarrhea”. Final Space (2018). The Queen will eat your face. Christmas trees are Pagan. “Kubrick was a bastard.” Adam’s three wives. Shagfest 3000. “Crowley was a bellend.” True Detective. Freemasons are lovely. The banality of evil versus just banality. Cat heaven. The Wilhelm & the MacGuffin drinking game. We play a game of “Cult Sacrifice”.
This week we’re joined by white-collar professional and stand-up comedian Carmen D’Cruz on the topic of office environments and project management. We start with Terry Gilliam’s Brazil (1985) and find it difficult to imagine living in an information-based capitalist society under constant threat of terrorism. Next up is Beavis and Butthead creator Mike Judge’s cult hit Office Space (1999) which didn’t hit at the time but has since become a clear echo of many people’s daily office life. We finish with Greg McLean directing a James Gunn script in The Belko Experiment (2017) which leaves us unconvinced that being a Special Ops soldier makes you even a half decent boss. Honorable mentions go to Glengarry Glen Ross (1992), Boiler Room (2000), The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), The Big Short (2015) and Margin Call (2011).
Also: Robert De Niro reuses his wardrobe. Form 27B/6. London Skeptics in the Pub. Thinking On Sunday lectures. Be Pure, Be Vigilant, Behave. TPS reports and memos. What does PC Load letter even mean?! PRINCE2 and Scrum mastery. Trial runs for fascism. John C. McGinley is a national treasure. Cognitive biases. We play a game of “What’s My Day Job?”. Carmen dominates readers of The Chap for fun. Brexit needed a better project manager.
We’re gearing up for season 2 and have a little catch up on summer movies and sportsball. Joe gives his verdict on Avengers: Infinity War (2018) and Dee watches Space Cowboys (2000) unbidden and cues up Fire Birds/Wings of the Apache (1990). Mark Kermode is dead to us.
Also: Dee does all the organising. Joe gets paid acting work. Dee speaks French. We do our best Clint Eastwood impressions. Our producer is still MIA.
Only two movies this week and no theme to link them. Dee’s pick is Patlabor 2: The Movie (1993) directed by Mamoru Oshii and written by Kazunori Itô, the pairing that then went on to make Ghost in the Shell (1995). Joe picks Miller’s Crossing (1990) linking back to last week’s crime noir discussion and redeems the Coens for Dee. We then recap our favorites from the entire season: The Night of the Hunter (1955), Duel (1971), Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire (1985), Walker (1987), The Good Thief (2002), Ink (2009), Easy A (2010), Locke (2013) and Raw (2016). We try not to dwell on some of the low points and give some honorable mentions.
Also: Dee plugs the fictitious Shinohara Heavy Industries. Joe can’t pronounce Arakawa. We debate the virtues of an unjust peace versus a just war. Aw, did somebody hit you? Joe tiptoes carefully around some period-accurate Jewish slurs. We play the “Ultimate Season Round-up Quiz” and #PERL the cat gets involved. Moshi moshi. Dee finally understands why he hates E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982). We finish on several dramatic cliffhangers.
We have a crash course in MacGuffins this week starting with John Huston’s classic noir adaptation of Dashiell Hammett’s The Maltese Falcon (1941) which relates to the country and not the confectionery. Next up is Alfred Hitchcock’s dream cast of Ingrid Bergman, Cary Grant and Claude Raines in Notorious (1946) and a MacGuffin made of atomic sand by a secret society of Nazis in South American exile. Then we have what Paul Schrader considers the downfall of American culture in Steven Spielberg’s Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), which we have far too much enthusiasm for to care what Schrader thinks. We finish with a film that really ties the room together: the Coen brothers’ The Big Lebowski (1998) which is a strike for Joe and another Coen strike out for Dee.
Also: Joe’s delivery service. We perform an Alfred Hitchcock anecdote. Hail Hydra. Dee suspects Mission: Impossible II might not be an original story. Joe explains the Seven Stories of the World and the missing Eighth. Dee corrects Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler’s Raiders Minimization. People don’t say “chocks” enough. Joe invokes Metatron. Dee is worried about a phantom Nazi injury. Shut up Donnie. Joe admires the way the Coens write music. We play a game of “MacGuffins, MacGuffins Everywhere”
Swinging sixties spy spoof The President’s Analyst (1967) blends psychotherapy, hippy culture and the surveillance state with a manic James Coburn as the titular character. We plunge deep into The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984) and struggle to explain it but it might not really want to be explained. Indie guerrilla punk director Alex Cox creates a gem of forgotten American history in Walker (1987), a story of American intervention in Nicaragua across the centuries. Survive Style 5+ (2004) hits for Dee but misses for Joe with its surreal tapestry of disparate stories.
Also: Robert Evans tells us The Kid Stays In The Picture. It's not paranoia when they’re really after you. Dee would like to read the first 5 issues of Buckaroo Banzai (they don’t exist). Would you give a child an assault rifle? History is written by the winners. Joe psychoanalyses Trump. Goth giraffes. Joe finds his Tetsuo, the Iron Man in Survive Style 5+. What is your function in life? Joe can’t surreal.
We begin with MAS*H (1970) - the movie that started a TV show that lasted longer than the Korean war it portrays at a time when America needed an outlet for Vietnam angst. Machismo overcomes emasculation in Westworld (1973) with gritty gunslingers and sex robots. The paramilitary police surveillance state is closer than we think in Blue Thunder (1983) but let's turn it into a weekly fluffy police drama. Based on a true story (not), Fargo (1996) divides us with its ineptitude noir and the banality of evil.
Also: Joe tries to bond with #PERL the cat - literally. Laugh track vs. no laugh track. Dee shits on Joe’s facts. We uncover the earliest use of the word “fuck” in cinema. Robots? No! Rbts! RBTS! Dee isn’t impressed by a rubber snake. JAFO, FNG, and REMF explained. Mario Machado! Yah. Yaaaaaah. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. (Go Bears). Dee hates on Minnesota nice. We play a game of “... the TV show!” and Nerd Fight this week is movies that should be turned into TV shows.
This week, four movies made from TV shows. We start with tour de force The Untouchables (1987), written by David Mamet, directed by Brian De Palma, music by Ennio Morricone. Then Harrison Ford and Tommy Lee Jones square off in The Fugitive (1993); a high-stakes chase that grinds to a slow end. Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu are strong independent women in skimpy outfits in Charlie’s Angels (2000). Generation-subverting, meta-breaking bro-fest 21 Jump Street (2012) puts thirty-somethings Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum back into high school.
Also: Joe does every accent going in 1930’s Chicago. We guess what the porn remake of The Untouchables would be. Joe refuses to fat shame a baby. The Stath punches a shark. I’ll have the McG please. Dee explains Jiggle TV. Joe doesn’t want help remembering John Candy’s career. We play a game of “... the Movie!”
Four renegade directors this week offer alternative perspectives on the second world war. We start with Sam Peckinpah’s only war movie, about a German reconnaissance patrol on the Russian front, Cross of Iron (1977). Samuel Fuller's personal experiences in the European theater inform the story behind America’s 1st Infantry Division; The Big Red One (1980). Terrence Malick questions the human condition and purpose of war in the Pacific theater with The Thin Red Line (1998) and cuts out tremendous star power in the process. We finish with Paul Verhoeven’s Black Book (2006) about the Dutch resistance in the final weeks of the war and a stand-out performance from Carice Van Houten.
Also: We critique the hardware on show. Soldier superstitions. How not to get your dick bitten off. We are pro punching Nazis. Mark Hamill’s credentials. We blame our grandparents for our obsession with war movies. Joe falls asleep to the strangest movies. We love Elias Koteas. Joe does Werner Herzog does The Predator. #PERL the cat goes crazy for a pen. We play a game of “Opposing Forces”. Improvised Nerd Fight is our favorite war movies and why.
Retired cat burglar Cary Grant is pursued by socialite Grace Kelly in Alfred Hitchcock’s To Catch a Thief (1955) despite being old enough to be her father. John Woo’s Once A Thief (1991) keeps us on the Côte d'Azur but varies from caper comedy to bullet ballet wildly and isn’t among his best. Marlon Brando’s final performance complements method actors Robert De Niro and Edward Norton collaborating on a customs house heist in Frank Oz’s The Score (2001). Joe’s recommendation of The Good Thief (2002) is a clear winner this week and Nick Nolte’s greatest role since The Thin Red Line.
Also: Nous commençons en Français. One of our dinosaurs is missing. Joe gives a fashion critique. Dee rechristens Chow Yun Fat to Chew Yun Fat. Joe has too much coffee and insults Trump. Canadian museum guards are undeniably more professional (and polite). Dee confuses Neil Jordan with Neil Marshall. We play a game of “What’s In It For Me?”. Improvised Nerd Fight this week is favorite movie heists and Joe admits not including Hudson Hawk was a mistake!
First up is Peter Lorre’s only directorial stint with Der Verlorene (1951) known as The Lost One in English, although Joe couldn’t find it with subtitles and doesn’t speak German. The Night of the Hunter (1955) by Charles Laughton turns out to be one of our season highlights and we tread carefully not to spoil it. Walter Murch moves from the editing suite to behind the camera with Return to Oz (1985), including stand-out performances from Fairuza Balk and a talking chicken. It turns out Quick Change (1990), directed by Bill Murray and Howard Franklin, isn’t as good as Joe remembers and his predictions of being disappointed from last week come to pass.
Also: #PERL the cat sticks the landing when ejected from the recording table. Never trust a Bond villain. Kids can be so cruel. Dee still hates E.T.. We’re definitely not in Kansas; the tax breaks in 1980’s England are much better. Joe springs a trap before Dee is ready for him. Dee asks: is this racist or a caricature? We play a game of “Directorial Debuts”. Nerd Fight is more of a Nerd Cuddle regarding the best Marvel Cinematic Universe films.
We kick off with a 3 hour fan edit of Dune (1984) and barely make it through unscathed - but we did it so you wouldn’t have to. Joe watches the original cut of Johnny Mnemonic (1995), Dee watches the Japanese cut and we compare and contrast them with the William Gibson short story. We stand in defence of John Carter (2012) as the source material originated a lot of what we consider sci fi tropes today. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) has wonderful galaxy-building but thin plotting and really should have been called Valérian and Laureline.
Also: #PERL the cat does some free ASMR. Is Jürgen Prochnow Joe’s dad? Dee can’t pronounce Kwisatz Haderach. Captain Picard plays the space mandolin. We ask where our testicles are, Summer. Dee checks Traci Lords’ age again. Joe is clearly jealous of naked James Purefoy. We try and encourage #PERL the cat to dispense pearls. Multipass! We play a game of “Factions”. Nerd Fight this week is about gun fetishism in movies.
We start with the original mass-market platformer Super Mario Bros. (1993) and discover that updating kids’ stories for teens and adults doesn’t always work, especially when you’re competing with the summer of Jurassic Park. Then we have Biggles-in-space with the retro-futurism of Wing Commander (1999) including what might be the first example of a major motion picture using flow-mo. We still try to extract the good from it though. Dee risks minor detours with Doom (2005) and Max Payne (2008). The emotional dynamic at the heart of Need For Speed (2014) is more gripping than the supercar races. Last movie this week is Hitman: Agent 47 (2015), a film with no plot, a female MacGuffin and a lot of recycled tropes and yet we like it.
Also: Joe starts with cookie mouth. We discuss how not enough problems are solved with plumbing. The origins of post-credits stingers. Our regard for Tchéky Karyo and Jürgen Prochnow gets a shot in the arm. We both fall for Aaron Paul. We’re open to sponsorship from PlayStation and XBox. We play a game of “Coin-Op Cameos”. Joe asks what games should become movies or TV shows. Nerd Fight this week is the Most 80’s Track From A Film.
Close your eyes and the adventure… never quite begins in Dreamscape (1984), a potential influence on Netflix’ Stranger Things but more worth seeing for Max Von Sydow vs. Christopher Plummer. Writer Chuck Russell then goes on to direct A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) with its excellent practical effects and ironic murder scenes. Next we have the visual tableau of Tarsem Singh’s The Cell (2000) with its music video aesthetic, incredible costume design and Silence of the Lambs rip-off plot spliced with Dreamscape. We finish with Ink (2009), a surprising low-budget production and the only one this week not to feature a nightmare snake, but so good Joe named his cat after it. Although it has problems that need taken into account we reckon it's worth the detour.
Also: #PERL makes her presence known as we’re without a cat wrangler this week. Dee asks what won’t the government turn into a secret assassination program. We settle Nature vs. Nurture once and for all. Dee isn’t impressed by Jennifer Lopez in wedges. Joe knows far too much about serial killers. We work out what films we’re happy falling asleep to. Catbug! We play a game of “Dream Logic” and Joe comes up with a game of his own in Nerd Rage.
This week we have four very troubled productions, two of which never got made. We start with the documentary Burden of Dreams (1982) about the single-minded quest to push an ego over a mountain by pushing a 30 ton steamboat over a mountain in Fitzcarraldo (1982). Francis Ford Coppola is convinced Apocalypse Now (1979) will be a failure and his wife Eleanor tracks his downward spiral in Hearts of Darkness (1991). Gilliam ignores the advice of a kindly Jeff Bridges and tries to make The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (2018) in Lost in La Mancha (2002). We’re left blown away by Alejandro Jodorowsky’s indirect contribution to Hollywood as told through Jodorowsky’s Dune (2013). Can you spoil the ending for a film that doesn’t exist?
Also: Joe picks up on white man savior complexes through several of this week’s films. Neither of us can do a decent Werner Herzog impression. Dee discovers Yoda isn’t real and admits E.T. terrifies him. We suspect Orson Welles might be the center of the universe. We play a game of “Who Said It?”
We finally get to the root of Howard the Duck’s (1986) influence on Joe’s childhood and why it was such a bad experience and not suitable for children. Blade (1998) is Black Panther before the Black Panther (2018) movie, effortlessly cool and ably supported by Kris Kristofferson and N’Bushe Wright. Leland Orser and Joe Pantoliano might be the best things about Daredevil (2003) where nothing really works and Ben Affleck vows never to play another superhero. (SPOILER: He does). Reboot of a reboot, Punisher War Zone (2008) is “one of the best-made bad movies” according to Roger Ebert and it shows, especially to a Punisher Max superfan like Dee.
Also: Joe uses the m-word. Dee asks a very pertinent question about what appears on movie posters in the Nexus of Sominus. We have to check how old Traci Lords is. Joe explains Overstuffitis and how it kills franchises. Dee sings Evanescence. We pick the best Kingpin. We pick a favorite Punisher. We play a game of “Sidekicks and Animal Companions”
In contrast to last episode’s excitement about watching Tommy (1975) we discover that it hasn’t aged well although there are bright spots. You’ve got to love the album-length anime music video that is Daft Punk’s Interstella 5555 (2003) and its subtle metaphorical cry for help. Joe needs a run up to enjoy Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008) which makes the most of a very limited budget. Les Misérables (2012) requires multiple sessions to watch and doesn’t blow us away so Dee makes Mean Girls jokes instead. We go off-topic with Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire (1985), the only vampire snooker musical you’ll ever need and Bugsy Malone (1976), Alan Parker’s prohibition child musical.
Also: We start with a game of “Next Lines”. We have a professional cat wrangler on set to keep #PERL the cat away from the mic, mostly. Mostly. Joe gets a stress pillow and a warm childhood hug. Dee insults Paris. We decide we’d rather be hanging out in Supersonic Sam’s Cosmic Café than Fat Sam’s Grand Slam Speakeasy.
Amy Heckerling revives the teen movie with an adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma in Clueless (1995). Then Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles give grungey Shakespearean performances in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999). We switch to the east coast for a very different tone in Cruel Intentions (1999) with mixed opinions on the legacy of MTV’s Best Kiss 2000. Finally we get to Easy A (2010) a self-aware retelling of The Scarlet Letter with a solid performance from Emma Stone, and Stanley Tucci wins best dad of all four movies.
Also: Joe is hanging this time but powers through. Dee confuses Happy Feet (2006) and March of the Penguins (2005). An 80 year old book is spoiled by a 30 year old episode of Red Dwarf. We play a game of “Right Clique” and Joe makes a shameful admission regarding Mean Girls (2004).
First we discuss Groundhog Day (1993); the theology, the temporal mechanics and the emotional arc. Next we discuss Groundhog… wait… no, Run Lola Run (1998), peak 90’s kinetic German cinema with a lean, mean Franke Potente running through Berlin to save her boyfriend. Primer (2004) leaves us intrigued but confused as high concepts outstrip a 4-figure budget. We finish with Edge of Tomorrow/Live. Die. Repeat (2014) to compare with the original novel and manga and praise Bill Paxton and Emily Blunt.
Also: #PERL the cat attacks the microphone more than usual for the first half hour. We play a game of “Unintended Consequences” (SPOILER WARNING for Twelve Monkeys and Predestination). Dee mentions how Ben Kingsley almost killed him once. Joe sings from Once More, with Feeling.
In Wolfen (1981), a childhood favorite of Joe’s, man and animal clash in 80’s New York, with grisly autopsies, near-future technology and wolf vision. Nostalgia fails us when style trumps substance in Jaws on trotters - Razorback (1984). We’re both effusive over B-movie supreme Deep Rising (1998) with its CGI effects and full scream ahead plot. Next we unearth Tremors (1990), a masterclass in hidden monsters, survivalist equality, and one-liners. Dee is unimpressed by the variable tone of The Host (2006) so Joe mounts a credible defense.
Also: #PERL the cat finally gets a guest star credit. We work out our degrees of Kevin Bacon. We play a game of “Now What?”
Everything is squelchy and icky this week as seminal video nasty Videodrome (1983) weaves meta-commentary with Debbie Harry fantasy fulfilment. Dee learns a valuable lesson about trusting Joe when he warns against weirdness like Tetsuo, the Iron Man (1989) in future. We switch from bathing in cyber-spooge to the relentless comic gore-verload of Peter Jackson’s Braindead/Dead Alive (1992). Lastly, we tiptoe around spoiling anything from Julia Ducournau’s Raw (2016).
Also: #PERL the cat bites Joe, binding their DNA forever. Dee name-drops H.R. Giger and runs out of “evens”. Joe is proven undeniably right. Neither of us can stomach making a game of body horror.
Steven Spielberg's debut Duel (1971) gets us underway with man vs. machine, rural vs. urban and radiator hose vs. hill gradient. We slip into neutral for The Driver (1978) a blank abstraction which grinds its gears and get overtaken by Vanishing Point (1971). It turns out Locke (2013) and Wheelman (2017) have surprisingly similar performance profiles but Tom Hardy takes the flag with elan.
Also: #PERL the cat repeatedly headbutts the microphone throughout. We play a game of "Delivery Driver".
We're under siege this week with Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) where John Carpenter remakes and improves on Rio Bravo (1959) with his trademark anti-heroes and a badass female co-star. We finally get to the buddy cop Xmas film that is Die Hard (1988) and make fists with our toes, discuss why smart terrorists are scarier, and unearth oodles of trivia. We compare and contrast Dredd (2012) and The Raid: Redemption (2012) and pick a favorite.
Also: We don't play a game this week but we do mention Leland Orser for the first time.
In Gremlins (1984) we go through the dark mirror of It's A Wonderful Life to Kingston Falls, catch a Corey in the wild and witness every babysitter’s nightmare. Moving to Scrooged (1988) Bill Murray is clearly having a complete mental breakdown surrounded by very good practical effects and rampant Christmas consumerism. We continue with Christmas breakdowns in Bad Santa (2003) to talk Santa fetishism, meeting the Buddha, and a cameo by Sheriff John Bunnell. We Finnish with the superlative Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) to discover the true horror origins of Santa.
Also: We play a game of "Naughty or Nice?"
In Freebie and the Bean (1974) James Caan and Alan Arkin can't work out which one is the bad cop and neither can we. We talk about the background social politics of the Lethal Weapon series (1987-98), PTSD and whether its okay to rap at white people over dinner. Then there are plenty of guns, car chases, dead bodies, sexism and racism to be found in Bad Boys II (2003). Akira Kurosawa's Stray Dog (1949) gets an honorable mention as the proto-buddy movie template that will define the format and we play a game of "Wunza".
Warning - audio levels are all over the place; we don't figure the mic out properly until the next one.