True Calling Project | Finding Purpose and Meaning In Life and Career: Recent Episodes
John Harrison, MA, LPCC
John Harrison is a professional psychotherapist and coach. He brings his insight and experience from his former career as a military officer, 9-5 office worker, and his current career as a therapist and coach, in interviews with professionals, psychology experts, and those living their higher potential. Each week you’ll get discussion, stories, and insights on finding your “why”, how to optimize your life and business, and the mental and emotional challenges that can keep you stuck. He and his guests explore the practical and spiritual aspects of engaging in a satisfying career and a meaningful life.
Nicole Christina is a psychotherapist with more than 25 years of clinical experience. She specializes in Positive Aging, eating and food related issues, burnout, and stress reduction. In this episode John and Nicole discuss how feeling grateful can lead to peace and happiness in daily life. Nicole explains how simple, grounded techniques can help you relax so that you are able to see the bigger picture and feel more grateful. From breathing exercises and leaving quirky notes to yourself, to finding a community of people where you belong, Nicole has some smart and simple tips you can work on to reduce anxiety and see the world through a different lens. You can find out more about Nicole's web courses on mindful eating and being grateful at www.nicolechristina.com "It's an attitude, not a practise. We have more control over our happiness than sometimes we think we do. It's not about what happens to you. It's about how you deal with it."
Mia Quaglia is a therapist who runs Divorce and Thrive, a coaching academy that heals and empowers women to discover life after divorce. She helps her clients move through the thoughts and feelings of divorce and discusses how you can grow, take responsibility and find new life in such a major event. Mia also shares how she found herself and the ability to help others after ending a 25-year marriage. She and John talk about perceptions of divorce: Mia thinks men and women experience this differently, and her work helps women discover the affirmation of shared experience. They discuss how you know when to make a decision, how to leave behind blame and regret, and how to make this change a positive experience and stepping stone to the future. "we can embrace divorce and you can come out of it being a better person; being able to experience life, breathe differently and have a different quality of life” online:divorceandthrive.com email: mia@divorceandthrive.com tel: 2798199939
Shit happens. Sometimes it's a little harder to take than others. I had what I thought was a sure thing and a great opportunity for my career. It didn't work out. But it was a reminder of a very important lesson. Sometimes the thing that doesn't work out, the problem you are resenting, is the very thing you need. If you listen to what you are experiencing. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject
It's not easy to put ourselves out there for others. Even for people that "seem" to have it all together. Most people can be decent at self confidence, but struggle with self esteem. Because when we take away all of the success measures and accolades, what do we have left? Our innate self. And that can be scary to show others. But we're all attracted to honesty. We love to see other people's truth. Not only is it good for the people seeing it, but it's great for the person sharing it. And when we show up fully, we can cut the bullshit and the middle man out. We are going to get more aligned with the right people and those people who don't resonate with your truth will fall by the wayside. Win-win. Be true, be honest. Cut the fat and we'll serve us and others. It makes too much sense not to. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes or find it here:www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
Justin Spicer is a video producer at globevillestudios.com. He has a unique take on 'marketing' for counsellors and therapists.
Justin makes YouTube videos for private practises, and uses SEO to help more people hear these authentic testimonials.
He takes time to have a conversation with people about what they love and lets their passion do the talking. It's not about creating a polished presentation - instead he helps people connect with others through sharing a snapshot of who they really are.
He's helping clients be their most authentic and comfortable selves in front of the camera and is challenging the old ad tradition of marketing to fear and 'lack'.
"We can promote what we love by just doing what we love"
One of our greatest habits is to look and expect to find all of the answers BEFORE we act. As if we need to have the most information in front of us, be without fear, or have ultimate certainty before we take a chance. We'll never know until we start. We can't. Maybe we're not supposed to. I'm coming close to accepting an offer for my business that 4 years ago I never would have imagined. And the thing is that without taking those first steps to get where I am, this opportunity wouldn't be there for me. Life isn't about finding certainty. It's about living life and that includes the doubts, failures, and uncertainties. And to get the things we're after, we first need to take that step that's right in front of us. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here:www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
Michelle Meiche is a coach and psychic intuitive. She hosts the weekly Awakenings podcast and runs the website SoulPlayground.life where she shares support tools and insights.
Today she talks to John about her perspective on intuition at a time where people are collectively shifting to a new paradigm of thought.
As analysis and logic leave us struggling to make sense of or control current events, Michelle shares her advice on how you can begin to listen to your intuition through behaviours and 'gut' feelings.
She also discusses how this intuition will inform the psyche to make life-enhancing decisions from your soul.
"We're all gonna make mistakes, that's part of the way we learn. But if you have that ill at ease feeling, wait: you'll see your intuition will be backed by reality in the real world if you give yourself the time to let it play out."
Interested in learning more about the True Calling Project and what I do? Find out more at www.lifemadeconscious.com Read more at http://truecallingproject.libsyn.com/podcast#GpOmb3Id6FMx80zs.99
Is it true that what we resist persists? What would happen if we moved our energy and focus from what we're resisting, or fearing, to a place of creativity? So many times we aren't able to see our own potential, or potential alternatives to our problems, because we are in a place of fear and resistance. And before we can move into a place of creativity, we need to accept what is happening and what is going on. Not excuse it. Not give in to it. Accept it for what it is. Whether it's a career situation, a relationship, social issues, or a literal creative stagnation. Stop resisting and focus on creation. Chances are we'll find out that we'll get what we're ultimately seeking. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes or find it here:www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
Motivation is a great tool for getting us started on a desired change. It can come in the form of the excitement of seeking a goal, fear of a negative consequence, or even anger and frustration due to our current situation. But what happens when motivation dies off like is always does? What keeps us focused for the long haul? Prepare for the inevitable loss of motivation and seek a deeper meaning in why you are doing what you're doing and why you are seeking the change you want. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find the episodes here: www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
Keri Nola is an Awakening Healer, Energetic Visionary and Founder of the Sacred Soul Circle. She's also the co-founder of the Galactic Vibrations podcast and an author. Today, Keri returns to the show to chat with John about the 'shift', a global awakening that's causing us to reassess our place in the world and how we identify ourselves within it. From the anxieties and fears springing from recent political events, to the social questions we face on daily basis, this in-depth conversation explores why so many people are feeling collectively 'off' right now. John and Keri discuss self-identification in a gendered society, our attitudes to blame, fear, doubt, relationships and love and how a different viewpoint can overcome some of the problems associated with a rigid self-perception. Keri also opens up about the car crash that changed her life and helped her make the decision to leave behind her career in clinical psychotherapy and pursue her true calling. "There is a massive awakening. We really have to see how far from ourselves and each other we've really been. That's the pain we're experiencing and that's the upheaval that's necessary in order for us to really come back home to our truest essence" Interested in learning more about the True Calling Project and what I do? Find out more at www.lifemadeconscious.com Read more at http://truecallingproject.libsyn.com/podcast#GpOmb3Id6FMx80zs.99
True Take: Being Everything for Everyone. When you're feeling drained or burned out have you noticed that it's times when you feel over obligated or over committed? Often we try and wear too many "hats" and be too much for others. And often it's without being asked to be those things. What would happen if we didn't always try and have to come through for everyone or please everybody or even be perfect. We might actually have more energy to be the best version of ourselves. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
We've seen an emergence of speakers and authors talk about the shedding of blame and shame from self. While this is healthy, many times we don't actually shed that blame or shame. We just redirect it towards others or other circumstances. Ultimately, one bag we can never shed is the bag of responsibility. When we understand that responsibility and blame are not the same things we are able to focus on what we can control and what serves us. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here:www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
We've all heard about the importance of patience. But how easy is it really? And why do we struggle with it? Can we make patience a valuable resource in and of itself? Getting out the cycle of addictive thinking and overdoing. Much of time in the case of our lives and present circumstances, less is more. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
It's easy to get sucked into the newest idea, theory, or practice. What happens when we don't get what we expected? This summer has taught me a good lesson on expectations and why we should be wary of "turning points" and the revelations outside of ourselves. Everything is an internal process whether we like it or not. And many times those needed lessons are not fun, exciting, or comfortable. Subscribe to the True Calling Project on iTunes and find it here:www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject
Technology is ruining our excuse that we use that says "I don't know how to do it" or "I don't know where to start". Knowledge is not something that is separate to be kept from us and guarded by the select few. No, you are just scared or insecure or not ready. And there is nothing wrong with that. Better to face fear and learn from it than hide behind the false notion that there is some source of knowledge out there that you're not privy to that is keeping you stuck. It's not that "we don't know how", we just may not know "yet". Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes or find it here:www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
We've been taught that material wealth and gain is the best way to measure our success. But why are so many people who "have it all" miserable with their work and occupations? I talk about reading Daniel Pink's book "Drive" and why if we don't have 3 factors in our work to express ourselves in, we are not going to be as satisfied with our work. The science has spoken. Money doesn't create job satisfaction. Catch the True Calling Project live on Facebook at 1pm EST every Thursday. Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or find it here:www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject
We look to people with special knowledge to help us solve problems, or give us insight, that we can't necessarily do on our own. But how often do we overlook our own abilities in comparison to these experts? When others have a credible skill set, it doesn't mean that what we have to offer is somehow "less". There is a tendency to shrink from putting ourselves out there in fear that we won't be as credible as others we see as subject matter experts. However, expertise, in many cases is subjective. And we have to be the judge as to take in from others what is right for us. The best experts still have to know how to communicate and connect with others to help them with their knowledge. Otherwise, it's only knowledge and nothing more. Even a small child can give us the bit of awareness that can help us learn something valuable. When we recognize that true "expertise", in this weird experience we call life, is very much an illusion it allows us to give what we have. We don't know who we can help and how we can help them if we don't express what we have. Don't let others supposed superior knowledge keep you from putting yourself out there. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.lifemadeconscious.com/category/truecallingproject/
What is professionalism? Is it the words we use? How we say them? Etiquette? Expected behaviors in professional environments? Is it what we wear? Many of us are forcing ourselves into a box and parameter that we "think" is the way we should behave and speak. When we are constantly trying to be something we're not, the imposter syndrome comes up in us. Are we doing the right thing? Are people going to accept and appreciate us? What if we identified our own sense of what being professional means? Respect for self and others. Compassion. Honesty. Being real. Because we know we value those things. Authenticity is professional. Respect and being true to ourselves and our values is being professional. Not meeting some societal standard and "playing the game" so we "fit in". Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
Was talking with a good friend of mine last night about the state of the world, government, business, economy. It's not our boss, the government, the corporations, our neighbors, our lack of money, or anyone else's responsibility to live through our values and take action...except for us. We have this addiction of blaming our circumstances for our inability to create what we want and not being able to live through what's important to us. The blame game keeps us stuck and in resistance. And in resistance there is no creation of new. Just playing the same broken game. We're better than that and more than capable. Anything that says otherwise just keeps us stuck, subservient, and playing small. Be the change. No, literally. Be the change. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
When we focus on gratitude in our lives it's NOT about ignoring problems or only seeing rainbows and gumdrop smiles. It's about seeing the WHOLE picture. Our brains are predisposed to be vigilant to identify what we can lose, or what we have lost. It's normal and natural to think negatively in many circumstances. BUT, since the mind is trying to keep us safe, it has a hard time being appreciative. So we have to be smarter than our monkey minds. GRATITUDE is about accepting the whole reality of life. It's healthy, balanced, and NOT bullshit. That's reserved for the part of our mind that only wants to see loss and catastrophe. Gratitude can make space for recognizing all the good stuff while also seeing that without some of the crap, we can't appreciate the good in life. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here:www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
Dr Gary Brown is a licensed psychotherapist who has been in private practice for over 30 years. His primary focus is helping people connect to themselves and other people at a deeper level than what they might be used to, and his years of practicing have led to a number of interesting opportunities.
In recent years, Gary has experienced a unique level of continuity of care: he has second-generation patients. Couples he worked with 10 to 20 years ago are now referring their adolescent children to his practice.
Gary is able to see first hand how all sorts of traits travel through families. Not just mental health, but also physical, biological and emotional traits.
Gary also has years of experience working in crisis intervention (which is, unfortunately, constantly relevant). During his time working with the the survivors of terror attacks and disasters, Gary has learned strategies that anyone can employ to mitigate the impact of shared trauma.
- The 24-hour news cycle gives us too much exposure to these traumatic events, and that can warp our perception of both the events and the world.
- Perform an honest self-assessment: what is the impact I am experiencing after seeing this event? Are you having trouble sleeping, seeing persistent images of the trauma, withdrawing, becoming hyper vigilant, experiencing fear? You’re not crazy or wrong for feeling what you are feeling – these are normal, human reactions to abnormal events.
- Talk to somebody you trust. “Pain shared is pain halved.”
- Assess your self care. Are you staying healthy and sleeping?
- Acknowledge that you aren’t impudent in the face of huge tragedies. You can help yourself and others heal by volunteering and giving back in your community.
We will all do well to remember that there is nothing disorderly about PTSD – it is simply Post Traumatic Stress, and it’s a very normal reaction to trauma.
“The most beautiful things, and the most important things in the world, are our abilities to express love to each other and our ability to receive love from each other.”
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Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Talking with a friend recently about the nature of low mood and low energy, or depression, and how it can help us bring clarity to our current situation. But only if we suspend judgement of what we are experiencing. I really think the Buddhists had something when they taught about releasing judgement. Notice how much easier life is when you are not judging your current situation, your relationships, your mood, your surroundings (gasp...politics). If we value ourselves and what we can bring to others and the world, we first have to get out of our own way. And to do that, we have to leave the judgement behind. Let others be the judge, we just need to focus on allowing ourselves to put out there what we need to. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes. And find it here:www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
Today’s guest, Kosta Stoyanoff, isn’t your typical positive speaker. He is the Founder of Uplifted Life, where he tries to remind people that there is more to life than what they have been conditioned to experience, and more to them than they could have ever imagined.
We discuss how we can find the part of ourselves that will be essential if we want the world to change, and why we need to look internally – not externally – if we want to create that change.
I was first introduced to Kosta through his video, “A Reminder To All Activists.” He discusses why activists need to come from a space of love, compassion, gentleness, and kindness. Who you are is more important than the fists in the air, the rallies, or the posters.
If you are angry, resentful, and full of toxicity and you are trying to change the world, you’re not part of the solution – you’re part of the problem.
Some will argue that we have to resist loudly and aggressively if we want change, and his own ideas about activism have received some resistance.
However, if we look at the negative things happening in the world, they are happening because of fear, exclusivity, and insecurity. It’s a symptom of me against you; competition.
We are always looking externally to solve the problems in the world, but we rarely consider that we might be part of the problem. It’s feels a lot easier to point a finger and blame something else than it is to look inside, take some ownership, and begin addressing your own level of consciousness and awareness.
The funny thing is… you can’t actually change anything externally. The solution to any problem comes from within. You have the most influence over your own personal state of being, which will then ripple out and affect the people and things in your life.
You may not be able to change the world by yourself, but you can still become the highest version of you; the most loving version of you. Then you can lift up the people around you. If we can understand that, then we might be able to create lasting positive change.
“Take ownership of who you are. You will receive and you will experience the way you choose to look at life – and the way you choose to look at life is either from a perspective of fear, insecurity, and separation or from a space of love, compassion, caring, connection, and courage.”
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Resources:
- Learn more about Uplifted Life: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Youtube
- “A Reminder To All Activists”
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Being afraid of pissing people off might be the #1 dream killer of all time. I was reflecting this week on how overly cautious we can tend to be (me included) when it comes to not wanting to possibly offending someone else. As if going through life solely to be polite can get us what we need...or be able to become what we were meant to become. Conflict is a part of life and relationships. We can't run from that or simply appease. When we are going after what we want our actions might hurt other people. But that doesn't mean it's always our problem, or our fault...or a bad thing. When we all show up as ourselves, we might piss each other off. But is that always a bad thing? Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes or find it here: www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
Today our guest, Michael Kuhn, shares a powerful story about transformation, presence, relationships, and the metaphysical aspects of life (and death).
Michael struggled with relationships and substance abuse for much of his early adulthood. After waking up in a jail cell, he decided he had to make a change. The need for knowledge became his new addiction.
After almost drowning, his perspective was changed further.
Michael believes that our goal as a species, and consciousness in general, is service to others. Intentionally living a life driven by your want and need to help others is the ultimate form of love.
Michael’s journey towards discovery and transformation was a long and tumultuous one, but he shares it with others so that we can be inspired and learn from his experience.
“Don’t live our life only for you. It’s pointless. When you wake up and you help others, you get so much more out of that than striving to buy or do something for yourself ... Striving to be a better person and help others as much as possible is the ultimate form of enlightenment.”
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Resources:
- Gaia.com
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
What is it about relationships that we find so rewarding? What kind of people do we gravitate towards? Is it their words? Is it their advice? When we have a good, solid, friendship or relationship, and connection with someone what are they doing that makes it so? What can we focus on in our relationships to enhance our connection with others? Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
Death is a unique process in human experience in that it can only be directly experienced by the participant, and it cannot be recorded. In almost everything else in life, people are ready and willing to offer advice… but, in this one area, they can’t.
Bryan Wright, like many of us, is fascinated by this unknown, yet ubiquitous, experience. He is a student of Thanatology – the study of death, dying, and related processes – and he’s on the show today to discuss the postmodern phenomenon of denying death and the transformative power of the grieving process.
Throughout much of history, death was considered an important part of the continuum of life and a community experience. Everyone and everything died, and the whole tribe was part of it. Western society has largely lost touch with that continuum.
In Western society, we don’t often participate in the natural grief process. We often use the word recovery to describe that experience, but the field of Thanatology is moving away from the language of recovery because it can be oppressive to the bereaved and mourning.
Instead, Thanatologists favor words like adaptation to describe and acknowledge what the grieving process really is: a reality-altering experience that forever changes who and what we are.
“We have so few opportunities to really experience the true depth, intensity, and texture of human life. Death is an opportunity to experience those things, and a calling to explore that same level of curiosity in all of life.”
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Resources:
- Connect with Bryan at justwright04@gmail.com
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
NSFW. Or maybe it's AFW (appropriate for work). This isn't clickbait. Because clickbait is bullshit. This is about smiling through and letting go of a lot of what we get tied up in on a day to day basis. Do we really HAVE to put our energies and efforts into things that we can't control? Do we HAVE to play along with things even though we know they're bullshit? Like in the Emperor's New Clothes, we all know when we SEE bullshit, but we also have a keen sense of FEELING into bullshit. Trust your gut. But for today you can just practice with how good it feels to call a spade a spade by hearing yourself say the words "bullshit" and smile a bit. It'll make your day a little bit better. Find the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and also find it here: www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
Today’s guest, Trevor Oldham, is a 20-year-old college student and co-founder of Become The Lion, one of the top ranked motivational blogs. Trevor has entrepreneurship in his blood, and he’s been running businesses since he was a kid.
When Trevor was 17, he had success importing phone cases from China and selling them. It was a profitable business, but he decided that he needed to do something with more purpose and impact.
At the age of 18, Trevor co-founded Become the Lion so that he could inspire millennials to become the best versions of themselves.
One thing that Trevor learned early on is that, in order to become your best self, you have to ask for help – on top of that, he learned that many people are actually happy to offer help. He reached out to other entrepreneurs already running successful businesses, and he was able to learn a lot from them.
Taking a chance and reaching out to Jon Gordon, author of The Seed, gave Trevor a helpful nudge towards finding his purpose.
No matter where you are in your journey, and no matter what you are on a journey towards, there will always be someone one step ahead in the path who has something to teach you. Sending an email, or even just reading a book, can help you find success faster.
“It’s nice having a revenue stream coming in, but it’s also nice being able to make an impact on people.”
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Resources:
- Connect with Trevor: Facebook | Instagram
- Learn about Become the Lion: Website | Facebook | Twitter
- Listen to the Trevor’s Become the Lion podcast
- “Five Extraordinary Things I Learned From Starting A Business At 18” by Trevor Oldham
- The Seed by Jon Gordon
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Funny how we fail to appreciate our impact on the people around us and our environment both in a positive and negative way. We judge our impact as negligible when we are really the one's that need to be judging. All our job is to express and create and leave the judging to others. People will receive the impact of our actions regardless of what we think about them. How can we be more intentional in what we do in a positive way? In a way that is a true expression of who we are? Taking notice about our negative influence and not turning a cheek on that either. We're all small pieces in the world but equally important pieces. What ripple do you want to set out into the world? Because it matters. Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
Listen up control freaks and self care junkies! This is for you. And for me. I'm done. Tired. Spent. Things are reaching their limit here with my business. But this time, instead of trying to self medicate the stress with "self care", I'm going to listen to it. Instead of trying to strangle control and lessen my anxiety, I'm going to let go. Not only that, I'm going to double down on listening to my stress and double down on letting go of control. We'll see how it goes. What's going on in your life that you're trying to over manage? What's getting in the way of what you want and value and what can you let go of to help you get closer to it? Subscribe to the True Calling Project podcast on iTunes and find it here: www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/category/truecallingproject/
Interesting opportunities are coming up lately. Things that I never would have imagined even 3 or 4 years ago. What if our limited mindset really is the problem? We try to seek certainty before we act thinking there should be this clear linear pattern from which to base our decisions from. We think we know something until something new shows up in our lives. What's right in front of us right now that's trying to get our attention? Are we looking to only act on things that we are certain will "pay off" or are we willing to see what's "behind door number 2"? What opportunities are possible to us if we allow ourselves to just...take..that step...that's right in front of us. And then see where it takes us.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Frances Harvey is a Professional Certified Coach targeted directly towards therapists and mental health clinicians, providing support, advice and all manner of help so they can reach their goal of running a successful practice and business.
In this episode, we talk a lot about the idea of letting go. We all know that trust is important in so many aspects of our everyday lives, so how do we put this to use in our businesses? And what are the benefits?
It may be a daunting task to ‘let go’ and open yourself up to trust, being vulnerable, but many times, that’s when we are fully able to allow the new to come into our lives and businesses.
“Make a list of everything on your plate. When you go to do that task, ask yourself “Should I be doing this? I know it needs to be done, but should ‘I’ be the one doing it?””
Frances believes that therapists are simply called to do what they do, and that being able to successfully run a business around that calling is essential. In spite of this, many therapists lack the knowledge, skill or time to maximize their success. This is where Frances comes in, offering solutions to these blind spots.
France’s first questions when starting a consultation are:
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*Who is the therapist as a person. Not as an entrepreneur or a therapist- who are they personally?*
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What the therapist feels their greatest asset to the business is and how they are taking care of themselves.
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What steps can we take to maximize that care and get back to the original ‘calling’ that Frances feels all therapists have.
It is because of this style of interaction that Frances can dive deep into not just the processes, but the mind of the therapist, and whilst she does utilize practical techniques, such as delegation of tasks, returning the therapist to their True Calling is of paramount importance.
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Resources:
- Connect with Frances: Website | Email
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
When should I push through and suck it up? This comes up a lot for me. When do I push through and when is it ok to let go and relax? When is it time to step it up and when is it ok to take a break? If we only push ourselves all the time we'll burn out. If we only chill out and take it easy, we'll never move forward or grow. And there can be alot of guilt and angst about not pushing it hard all the time. Knowing why we're doing what we're doing and implementing a plan and cycle in our actions and goal setting can help. Limiting and making boundaries to "go all out" as well as a time to step back and recuperate. Planning and executing both. Room for engaging as well as releasing.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Feeling especially reflective when I recorded this on Monday. Thinking about the things that I've tried and failed at over the course of my life, but especially in the last 5 years. Anything and everything that was not tied into a clear heartfelt purpose that could answer a "why" for me, didn't pan out. I was left feeling empty and not so fulfilled. The "jokes on me" kind of feeling. Not that it wasn't an important lesson, it was and continues to be. Chasing a "thing", the "idea of something", or the allure of something to make me more than what I already possess, is an illusion. Getting clearer on my overall "why" and I encourage others to do that questioning for themselves. Funny, because it seems like a good time to do so as structures and concepts fall apart all around us. Cutting through the BS. Not looking for something outside of you to make or break you. It's all about you. You are enough.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Sharon Martin, LCSW, is dedicated to helping busy adults and teens in Silicon Valley manage stress in order to promote peace, balance, and happiness in their lives.
In today’s episode, we discuss how self-esteem and negative self-talk affect this balance and happiness, and how people who work with children can foster a positive sense of self-worth in the next generation.
We all tell ourselves a story about ourselves, which is impacted by the messages we hear every day, and this self-talk influences our sense of self.
Because the messages other people tell us influence our story, we often end up defining ourselves based on other people and a sense of relative achievement… but that is a quick path to negativity.
Our sense of self has to be driven by what feels right, not what the outside world says is the right thing.
Of course, this isn’t always easy – life is distracting, and the people in your life might contribute to this negative self-talk. On top of that, negative self-talk often tells us that we’re alone and isolated, so help seems that much farther away.
There are some small mindset and lifestyle shifts that can help you build a positive belief system that makes life work for you.
- Recognize that everything you believe isn’t true… and some of your beliefs, messages, and values originally came from other people.
- Explore who you are, outside of what other people say.
- You don’t have to do specific things to prove your worth, and you shouldn’t have to prove your worth to receive love.
- Understand that failure isn’t the opposite of success – it’s part of the learning process. Don’t be afraid to take a risk in the future because of what happened in the past.
- If your environment has a negative effect, surround yourself with different people.
- Practice self-compassion in the face of negativity. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you because someone doesn’t like you or disapproves (and there’s nothing inherently wrong with them, either).
- Accept that you can’t control everything and, therefore, can’t be the cause of every problem.
“There’s something very human about wanting to fit in, wanting to connect, and wanting approval from certain people… but that can’t be the driving force. There has to be something internal that feels right.”
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Resources:
- Connect with Sharon: Website | Facebook | Twitter
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Read Sharon’s Happily Imperfect blog
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Pick up Sharon’s new eBook: How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt**
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
As a introvert myself, I'm going to call out all the other introverts that use introversion as an excuse to hide. While there is nothing wrong with being an introvert, it can provide a slippery excuse to maintain a quiet voice, a muted personality, or even a depressed and miserable state of being. Introverts gather their energies from being reflective and having times of solitude or being around similar people. Here are some reasons that introverts use the "introvert excuse" when minimizing their message or presence. 1. Being afraid of being seen as cocky or arrogant. 2. Feeling as though they don't have "sufficient knowledge" about what they wish to express. 3. Introverts tend to be analytical in nature and therefore can be acutely critical of themselves and their beliefs. However, many introverts are not actually introverted in nature when talking about, expressing, or creating the things they most believe in and affiliate with. It's ok to be an introvert but don't let the excuse of being an introvert allow you to continue to suppress your message, gift, or creative nature. The world needs it. And honestly, that's bigger than your fear. Someone needs to hear what you have to say. Even if you don't believe it.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Of all of the insights and practical advice that I have heard in the past few years, the one that has made all of the difference is that "if we want to make lasting and significant change in our lives, we have to sometimes do things we don't want to do." If we only listen to our feelings, our whims, our mood, our problems...we'll never be able to maintain consistency. We have to rise above our cravings and impulses and force ourselves to show up on the days, and in the places, we don't want to. When we do this, and transcend our old habits, we can open up space for new things to come in and the rest will take care of itself. Just show up! Don't wait until you feel like doing it.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Why are we in such a rush to get somewhere we currently aren't? When we are constantly bombarded with messages that glamorize the final product we tend to skip over our own process and the necessary steps in our process. We are all addicted. Addictions are not just about substances in our mind but also are concepts, false ideas, and unrealistic expectations that take us away from the important place that we currently are. Embracing the process, honoring it, and listening and learning to what it is teaching us in the moment.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Do you ever feel lost or burnt out due to the stress of running a business, or life in general?
Jo Muirhead has been there – and now she helps others search for awareness so that they can more easily build a life around their true calling.
Jo is an author, speaker, private practice mentor, and rehabilitation consultant. As the director and principal consultant of Purple Co, the Purpose for People Company, she helps people return to work and reconnect to a sense of purpose following injury, illness, or trauma.
Jo has a lot of success, and she’s finally built a business that doesn’t cause her to burn out… but only after years of trial and error. During that time, her business suffered as her health declined.
Eventually Jo learned that she doesn’t need to run her business based off of anyone else’s template. If we learn more about our values and how we operate, then we can build structures, systems, and schedules that contribute to our own self-care (instead of necessitating care), while still allowing us to grow successful businesses.
“You are enough. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone or anything. You’re actually enough – and you’re more than enough – and you’re okay just the way you are. You don’t know it all, but you have the capacity to learn… so go learn.”
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Resources:
- Connect with Jo: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn
- The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason
- Listen to The Art of Manliness podcast
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
When looking at taking risk we consider the chances of failure. Obviously, some risks are not worth taking. But what about when we are not taking risk because we are afraid of failing at being accepted, or being praised, or being told we're doing ok? Many people do not take risks because they are afraid to find out that they may not be "good enough" at what they love to do. But here's the thing. We can never truly "fail" when we are expressing and creating on the level of what we love and believe is important. Sure there are methods that are better than others, but in finding out what works better, and what doesn't work at all, we are merely gathering information to take the next step or turn in our process. We are failing forward. Taking the small "failures" and using that information and experience to step further into our creative and expressive selves. In this light, there is no failure. Just doing. Learning, evolving. Failing is a part of moving forward. And it's unavoidable.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
We all have them. So why are we surprised when things keep getting in our way? What if problems never stopped? What if we just graduated to better problems? Problems can be a teacher. They can show us context and what we prefer. They can show us discernment. We spend a lot of energy and time attempting to escape from what we assume are issues. What if the real problem is our perception of them?
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Tiffany McLain is a licensed therapist and the mind behind Hey Tiffany. It’s a site that helps therapists launch their private practices, with a focus on first-time entrepreneurs and first-generation college graduates.
Tiffany wants to help people who are trying to do something that their families have not done before; people who want their own income stream, a flexible job, a good lifestyle, and to give back.
A lot of people struggle with money, and not just acquiring it. Many people, particular those of us who are called to help others, have a fear around money… and that’s not a healthy relationship. You can’t start any venture, or help people, if you don’t have the right resources.
“Fear is the number one obstacle that comes up around money.”
Therapists shouldn’t feel guilty about, or afraid of, charging fees. It’s not a zero-sum game where you do better and, as a result, everyone else does worse.
In fact, making more money means that you can reach more people, do more good, and have a greater impact.
The other part of developing a healthy money mindset is understanding that it’s okay to spend money. You have to invest in yourself and your practice if you want to grow and reach more people.
“It’s okay to be afraid. Most of us are afraid! If you can find someone who is doing the thing you want to do and invest in them, you’re going to be just fine.”
Tiffany was kind enough to create a special resource just for you in the True Calling Project audience. You can find this free resource at www.heytiffany.com/truecalling.
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Resources:
- Connect with Tiffany: tiffany@heytiffany.com | Facebook
- Pick up an exclusive, free resource at heytiffany.com/truecalling
- Ask Tiffany: A Video Series for Therapreneurs!
- Pick up your own Five Minute Journal
- Check out Tiffany’s favorite podcasts:
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- Smart Passive Income
- Online Marketing Made Easy
- Selling the Couch
- Practice of the Practice
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
When we ask for something are we really sure that we want what we are asking for? Why do we find disappointment when we get things we are asking for? Why do we have tendencies to self sabotage and keep us from experiencing abundance? Many times we seem to have a subconscious tendency to block ourselves from what we want because we don't actually believe that we deserve all the good things we want. Do you tend to dismiss compliments and have a hard time taking them? Do you suffer from not being able to have the "right" partner to come into your life? Lack of money? Good job hard to find? Honestly ask yourself if you are really ready to receive the things you are asking for and are ready to do the work and make the sacrifices needed to get them.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
When we think of ego, or being egotistical, we tend to think about someone who is self aggrandizing or is being self promoting, or self absorbed. But what about the other side of ego problems? Minimizing your own value and worth. Playing the victim, being a martyr, and drawing empowerment from devaluing yourself or being overly negative about your situation. Allowing your identity to be someone who "can't do it" or "isn't capable" or "can't be self dependent". We are all equal in terms of being worthy of receiving and giving love. And when we are on the downside of ego self we are in a position to withhold from the world and others. That's just as harmful in the long run as someone who is outspoken and rude. Maybe even more so.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Someone asked me recently what I expected to come out of the podcast and videos I am doing. I thought I had explored my "why" but I hadn't really thought about what exactly I expected from the production of the podcast and video themselves. Strangely, or maybe it isn't, I actually just like making the podcast episodes. I really have no expectations at all. What if we did more of that? Acting and creating without analyzing and worrying? What if I did it more? What if you did it more? What if we all have something of value to share no matter what medium we use to express it? What if by sharing our unique gifts and words we could actually change the world? What if?
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Josh Garrett is a personal trainer and entrepreneur. He runs Cincy 360 Fitness, which won Best Personal Training Studio in City Beat's "Best Of Cincinnati" 2017 contest. Fitness programs include nutritional guidance, strength training, innovative cardio exercise, and recovery techniques, AKA The 360 Approach.
Josh defines fitness as being able to take on whatever life throws at you. It’s all relative to who you are, what lifestyle you have, and what you want out of your life. The same can be said for personal development. Throughout this episode, you’ll notice there are a number of similarities between physical fitness and personal development.
Josh started training because he wanted to help people lose weight – but he fell in love with the layered facets of training; he fell in love with empowering people, and the people themselves.
Josh didn’t start his career as a great trainer. Like strength training itself, Josh was only able to improve as a strength coach by pushing his own boundaries. Real change starts to happen after we find our boundaries, challenge ourselves, and overcome them.
Change doesn’t happen all at once – it’s progressive – and the world doesn’t change when you reach a new threshold. You change, then you look forward towards a new threshold. This is true in fitness, and this is true in personal development.
Because self-improvement is a marathon, not a sprint, you need to give yourself time to recharge. You can’t push your body past a new boundary every day, and you can’t perform at your best if you aren’t living a balanced life.
No one ever achieves personal or physical mastery, but you can have fun with the process! You have to have fun, or you’ll be miserable at every step… and no one’s true calling is to be truly unhappy.
“Stop chasing other people’s goals and start determining what your goals actually are – and what you’re willing to sacrifice to get to them.”
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Resources:
- Connect with Josh: Cincy360Fitness.com | Facebook | info (at) cincy360fitness (dot) com
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Why are we in such a big hurry to get somewhere? Why do we tend to look into the future to be somewhere we're not? Or go somewhere we aren't? What if in our process we are exactly where we need to be? What if things are the way they are supposed to be until we fully learn what we need to from them? If my process is 12 steps and I'm on step 3 but want to get to step 5 or 6, how can I learn from steps 3 and 4? Letting go of judgment and perception of our current experience to better allow us to embrace what the present moment is showing us.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
When we see people who we view as "successful" we want what they have. Instinctively, we want to know what they did to get there. What tactics did they use, what tools did they adopt, what strategies did they employ. We're looking in the wrong place. While these are important aspects of success, these are not the reasons for success. We don't see the process that person went through to get where they are. The mindset, the behaviors, the actions, the setbacks, and the process as a whole. The mindset and the process is the glue that holds it all together. It contains and helps the process take shape. This cannot be bought or taught. It must be experienced for each individual person. Focus on the glue. Focus on your process and allow yourself to be in it and learn from it.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Death by overthinking. Paralysis by analysis. Why is it that we tend to think we can get all the answers to our questions, and find certainty, before we take a chance, make a move, or dive into a project? When we stop trying to see our process all the way through and predict all the contingencies, we are more able to see the clear, logical, next step right in front of us. By taking that first step we'll see something, and get information, that we didn't see previously. Then we'll make another choice based on that viewpoint and move to the 3rd step. And so on. Less deliberation and more action! Get to it!
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Is it too late to start a new venture or career at this stage of my life? When is a good time? Is there a perfect time? When allowing ourselves to imagine something new, our minds tend to tell us the reasons we can't. One of the most common blocks we can run into is age and perceived timing. However, there really is no perfect time to do anything. There is just time.
Beth Luwandi is a psychotherapist, master communicator, host of the Midlife Love Bytes! podcast, and recent TEDx speaker. We discuss the process of creating and delivering a TED Talk, and the message she wants to share with the world.
The theme of TEDxGustavusAdolphusCollege was “Life On Purpose.” As a speaker, she was tasked with condensing the science and experiences of her talk into 12-15 minutes, which was later condensed further to 10 minutes, and memorizing the presentation (and, of course, overcoming her anxiety).
- If you ever have to give a big presentation, here’s a hot tip: practice it in front of real people! You might feel vulnerable, but the real-time feedback and experience is invaluable.
Her talk is called “Stop Talking! How Communication is Actually Ruining Your Relationships… and What To Do About It.” It’s the culmination of years working with couples on love, loss, and relationships. You can watch it here.
You will learn why talking often makes it difficult to establish and maintain a sense of empathy and closeness, and how Beth’s four-step process – Clean, Non-Blaming Communication (CNBC) – can shift your relationship and strengthen your brain. Beth goes into detail on this topic in episode seven of her podcast, too.
You can get in touch with Beth, enjoy her work, and learn more about her practice at BethLuwandi.com.
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Resources:
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Here’s the TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT1o2esE_88
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Start a conversation at BethLuwandi.com
- Listen to the Midlife Love Bytes! podcast
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Why is it so hard to make a decision sometimes? Am I making the "right" decision? How will I know if I am? Making decisions, even seemingly simple ones, can be difficult. The hard part isn't the decision, it's letting go of the need for certainty and answers that's hard. Letting go of judging our situation. Choosing the best option. Having faith that we'll get the answer or results we need. The only thing for certain is that if we don't make a decision and act, nothing will happen at all.
When we attach a label to ourselves we limit ourselves. Commonly overheard in conversation. "Are you an introvert or an extrovert?" or "What do you do?", we are frequently asked. "Well, I'm a this doing that." What happens to our sense of self when we aren't being defined or categorized? More importantly, what types of unnecessary limitations are we putting on ourselves when we label and ourselves and put ourselves into a box?
When it comes down to it, much of what sustains long lasting change is simple routine. Simple, boring, routine. It's what separates us from dedication to the process and from going off to our impulsive directions. It's a grind. But can we love the grind?
Today’s guest, Domenic Nappa, shares the unique path that brought him from blue collar worker to yoga instructor, and how yoga benefits our physical, mental, and emotional health. We also discuss why our society is kinda screwed up, and what you can do to rise above the noise.
Domenic grew up scoffing at yoga, and he had a lot of misconceptions. He worked hard, went to the gym, drank beer, and ate steaks. Yoga looked like feminine stretching and he didn’t see a place for the practice in his lifestyle, but he was wrong.
Experiencing meditative yoga practices, as opposed to more intense physical practices, completely changed Domenic’s perspective. It focused and invigorated him.
“Meditation is so much more than an empty mind – it is a focused mind."
We live in an incredibly noisy world, and shutting out that noise is a huge challenge – but with that challenge comes an opportunity for growth. A lot of people think meditation is just about emptying your mind, but it’s really about focusing your mind on the most important things.
Domenic mixes his life experience and his passion for yoga into The Concrete Yogi, a yoga lifestyle brand that encourages men to improve their lives by incorporating the greater philosophy of yoga (in whatever pratice makes sense to them).
If you’ve never done any yoga and you want to learn more about the practice, head to a local yoga studio (they’re pretty easy to find if you google “Yoga Studio near me”) and ask the owner or instructor if they have any packages for someone who is completely new – and then go to as many studios as you can. Experiment to find the teachers or the styles that resonate with you.
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Resources:
- Connect with The Concrete Yogi: Facebook | Instagram
- If you’re near Hollywood, Florida, you can take a class with Domenic
- Get Swole with Dash Kellner & SWOLENORMOUS
- Learn more about The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: Amazon | ArtOfLiving.org
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Getting older doesn't have to mean losing what we used to have. If anything, getting older can bring us an invaluable sense of awareness of who we really are. My kids, my marriage, my job, my physical changes, are all things that remind me that I can't compensate like I used to when I was younger. Age has called me out! Embracing the truths, seeing the weaknesses and shortcomings for what they are. Growth points.
Stop waiting to get motivated to make a change. Motivation is fleeting. Act. The more you do something new without needing to be motivated, the more momentum that will build. Momentum trumps motivation. Motivation is as fleeting as a sugar rush. It's temporary. Stop looking for it to save you. Act. Think and feel later.
Kat Love is a website designer and strategist dedicated to helping psychotherapists get more clients (she designed my beautiful website!). We discuss struggling to find your purpose, how she ultimately discovered a calling, and how empathy influences her web design.
“I was struggling to figure out what I really wanted and who I really am for a long time. Some of the figuring out of what you want to do and what you’re passionate about is only going to happen through experience.”
Kat chooses to focus on therapists and helpers because they have been an incredibly positive resource during her journey, and she’s grateful.
Her experience drove her to this calling, but empathy makes her good at it. She is able to empathize for her client’s clients because of her time as a therapy client, and this helps her design sites for people who might be in a crisis, suffering, or just stressed out.
One of the questions she will ask therapists is “what do you want your clients to feel when they’re on your website?”
The end result is a website that helps psychotherapists connect with their ideal clients, and helps people who might be struggling find the right help. You can learn more about her services at KatLove.com.
“It’s not just a business for me – it’s also a mission. I want to help therapists connect with their ideal clients… because I think therapists are awesome and because I know that clients need the help. If I can help that happen, then that’s awesome.”
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Resources:
- Connect with Kat: KatLove.com | Twitter
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Today we’re talking to Rachel Desrochers, the Chief Gratitude Officer at Grateful Grahams. She has a powerful story about how gratitude saved her life and inspired her business, and her attitude is absolutely infectious.
“I started Grateful Grahams because gratitude saved my life.”
Rachel started Grateful Grahams in 2010 with a few goals: creating her dream job, spreading the message of gratitude, and working with small batches to ensure a great product each time. She also wanted to create a healthy, vegan treat for her father, who experienced a dramatic lifestyle change after battling prostate cancer.
She’s grown impressively over the past seven years… But she’s not even close to finished with her journey.
Rachel isn't a planner; she's a doer. She makes business decisions that she believes will be personally fulfilling, support her team, and help her customers eat healthily.
A fear of failure doesn't limit her. Instead, excitement about new opportunities and love for her community propels her.
“I wake up every day and I do work that I believe in. I feel like I’m impacting my community… and that fills my cup.”
The gratefulness isn’t a schtick. Rachel is one of the most authentic and transparent people to come on the show. She has a genuine love and appreciation for her family, community, and team.
She calls herself the Chief Gratitude Officer because the title doesn’t create a divide between her and her team. She works with them throughout the process and endeavors to create a workplace that helps people be their best selves.
Rachel doesn’t just want to be an employer – she wants to be a relationship-builder and a world-changer. She’s off to a tremendous start.
Hungry yet? You can order some delicious and healthy Grateful Grahams online. They ship to anywhere in the U.S with a flat shipping fee.
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Resources:
- Connect with Grateful Grahams: Website | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter
- You can order some delicious and healthy Grateful Grahams online. They ship to anywhere in the U.S with a flat shipping fee.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
We’ve been on this journey together for a few weeks now. I am discovering a lot about what drives people, and I love having the opportunity to share those stories with all of you.
Today I want to share my story.
I thought I knew what I wanted to do when I was very young, but I spent a long time searching before I found fulfillment. Before I could find it, I had to take a risk and step into the unknown.
My first private practice was a side gig in a dirt cheap shared office. I didn’t get a phone call for six weeks, but eventually I was working an extra 10 hours a week as my own boss. It was difficult, but I was really happy.
But I still wasn’t fulfilled. I wanted more. I needed to step further into the unknown.
I left my day job and went into private practice full-time, and things started to get really interesting really fast. The romance, excitement, momentum, and motivation that come with making a big change quickly fade when you come face-to-face with the realities of the venture.
In 2015, I had some of the highest highs and lowest lows, and I learned a few lessons in the process:
- Things don’t move in a linear fashion. The mind sometimes thinks that’s the case, and wants it to be the case, but the unexpected always happens.
- Don’t internalize your experiences. When my business numbers went down, I made myself feel like I was doing something wrong. I labeled myself a failure. I wasn’t a failure and, with patience and determination, my business improved.
- Make yourself open to opportunity. I was trying to control everything and everything had to be perfect. I was so focused on everything being my way that I closed myself off to other opportunities. You will find abundance more easily if you stop resisting, and start accepting, your situation.
Life is a learning laboratory – open yourself up, take a risk, and have some fun.
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My podcast episode with Melvin Varghese on Selling the Couch talking about my challenges in beginning my business: http://sellingthecouch.com/session-82-surviving-tough-times-private-practice/
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
How often are we in search of things?
Happiness, meaning, the perfect job, the perfect relationship… we are constantly searching for the things that we think we should have, have a hard time attaining, and have a hard time sustaining.
But trying to get “the thing” is an illusion.
In this episode, I break down a few things that we can think about to help reshape our mindset…
- Expectations. We think that there is a right or wrong way to be, and there isn’t. Right or wrong is a flawed paradigm.
- Quitting. It’s okay to quit, because sometimes we aren’t actually quitting – we’re correcting course. Wipe the word quit off the table.
- Roles. What is your role when you retire? When you transition out of a role (soldier, policeman, doctor, etc.), it can be hard to adjust. But your role doesn’t make your identity; your identity makes you well-suited for a role. You can’t stop being who you are.
- Money. What is it? It’s not a commodity and it’s not “the thing.” It’s a resource. Money can provide us with a sense of security and a sense of stability, but it doesn’t provide value.
To reveal more about yourself, take a Myers-Briggs test and learn your personality type. This is a free, unofficial version of the test.
Combining the test results with Paul D. Tieger’s book Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type helped me transition from the military to therapy.
This isn’t an answer, but it might give you more guidance, insight, and direction.
If you enjoyed this episode, join me on my Facebook Page. I’ll be sharing videos and discussing more topics like this every week.
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Resources:
- Free Personality Test
- Do What You Are: Discover the Perfect Career for You Through the Secrets of Personality Type by Paul D. Tieger
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Mark Zinno, sports talk radio host and Army veteran, recently launched the Hazard Ground podcast.
America knows a select few war stories, usually because they are featured in movies. Mark wants to tell all the stories that weren’t made into movies; the stories that people don’t know.
Mark is fortunate. He deployed twice and returned twice, mostly unharmed… but his comrades in arms weren’t all as fortunate. The podcast is his way of giving back.
“I want to tell soldiers’ stories. People like hearing other people’s stories, if it’s a good story to tell and the person telling it is a good storyteller.”
In Hazard Ground, Mark acts as a translator between military people and civilians. He allows veterans to tell stories in a way that makes sense to them, and he is able to help the audience understand those stories better.
Mark learned to be a great storyteller as a radio host. He has over a decade of experience in the sports media world, which he is called to because it is the best combination of being an athlete and being an actor (and a good second choice after being shortstop for the Yankees).
If you want to hear Mark tell more stories, check out the Hazard Ground podcast or “A to Z with Mark Zinno” radio show.
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Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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You don’t have to follow a specific path in life. You definitely don’t have to follow a path that makes you unhappy.
Matt Pascarella is working on second career goals, podcasting and mountain guiding. These are his goals for a simple reason: they make him happy.
He believes the world will be a better place if we focus less on what we should and shouldn’t do, and focus more on what makes us and the people in our life happy.
Matt’s new podcast, Hazard Ground, features veterans sharing inspirational and motivational stories about combat, service, and resiliency. He co-hosts the show with Mark Zinno, sports talk radio host and Army veteran.
Matt’s soon-to-be new career, mountain guiding, is appealing because it allows him to share the happiness and goodness of nature with others. He is getting certified through the American Mountain Guides Association, while holding down a full-time job.
Both ventures share a similar challenge: you have to get started. Sometimes you are more of an obstacle than the mountain.
Identify your passions, figure how to monetize it, and try your best to add more positivity into the world. We can all forge a happier path (and make the world a better place while we’re at it).
Resources:
- Listen to Hazard Grounds: iTunes | Stitcher | Facebook
- Let My People Go Surfing by Yvon Chouinard
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Let your mind work for you – have it be your ally and don’t let it keep you small.
Our thoughts affect how we navigate everything in lives: our jobs, our relationships, our mood, and how we see the world.
When we think in black and white terms, or our thinking is polarized, we limit ourselves.
- When we prejudge things, we can lie to ourselves. When we think we know something, we feel safe, important and informed.
- We’re naturally afraid of change so our mind draws on past experiences to give us an idea of what to expect… but using past experiences to predict outcomes will dictate your actions and close you off to anything new.
- We tend to look at everything in a right or wrong frame of reference… so we can always find excuses why we can’t. If we broaden our lens, then we can also find excuses why we can.
- We can end up tying our sense of success to results, but success is subjective. We don’t want to attach our decision making to the immediate results. When we try something new, we won’t always get the results we expect right away.
- We spend a tremendous amount of energy comparing ourselves to our outside environment, especially other people. When we focus on comparing ourselves to other people or other circumstances, it makes us small. We’re not giving ourselves a chance to look at our true potential.
- We think we know what other people are thinking about us, and we spend time dwelling on it… but our job is not to judge. Our job is to do.
We need to stop judging ourselves through a black and white lens – we need to start taking control of our lives through action.
It’s going to be hard to get out of a black and white mindset because our brains naturally want to think linearly… but we need to give ourselves a chance to practice. Here are a few small and manageable ways to practice expanding your mindset:
- Find a person or group who will offer support, give subjective feedback, and provide constructive criticism.
- Be curious about other people and their experiences. Seek connection with new and different people. You can empower yourself by talking to people who aren’t like you.
- Take a chance! Don’t try to conquer the world right away. Start taking small steps to exercise your risk muscle.
When you are able to let go of your attachment to the past, trust in your own capabilities, and stop judging the perceived result of your actions then you will see serious results and changes in your life.
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Today’s guest, Jerry Howard, went on a long journey to find his true calling.
He dropped out of undergraduate classes, worked in a call center, enlisted in the marines after 9/11, went back to business school, obtained a MBA with a specialization in marketing, left the marines, sold health insurance, was a stay-at-home dad, participated in a corporate leadership training program… and that’s not even everything!
Now Jerry serves as the executive director and healthcare administrator for ortho, neuro and cardiac rehab centers.
Jerry’s diverse experiences helped him focus on and reorder his top three priorities:
- Faith
- Family
- Finance
“Faith, Family and Finances allows me to keep the external world secondary to my family and then my Family secondary to Faith. If you don’t have principles to live by then, when push comes to shove, even within your Family you can be swayed by the moment.”
Prioritizing Faith, Family, and Finance helps Jerry keep love as his main motivator.
Jerry was motivated by love to write a book for stay-at-home dads titled So You're a Stay at Home Dad, Now What?: Fatherhood Isn't What It Used to Be.
In the book, Jerry attempts to help other stay-at-home dads better fill their roles and find their true calling. You can preorder the book on Amazon now.
“If you don’t use your talents and the things that you’re good at to make a contribution to the world, then your time here on Earth is wasted.”
Resources:
- Connect with Jerry by emailing him: ephesians4u (at) gmail.com
- Pre-order So You're a Stay at Home Dad, Now What?: Fatherhood Isn't What It Used to Be... by Jerry Howard
- Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently by John Maxwell
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Traci Ruble, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, is the co-creator of Sidewalk Talk.
Sidewalk Talk fights stigma around therapy and mental health by bringing listening to the streets.
The idea is simple:
- A volunteer sets two chairs out on the sidewalk.
- They listen to anyone who wants to talk.
“I’m not in my therapist role when I’m out there listening. I show up as a human and I try to not think about all the different theoretical orientations and I don’t meet people with the idea that there’s something that needs to be fixed in them.“
The movement started in 2014. Traci was bewildered by the level of gun violence and she wanted to know: how can we be active in our community and actually listen to what’s going on, rather than interpreting and predicting it? How can we be part of the community?
The first Sidewalk Talk event took place in San Francisco in 2015 – now there is a Sidewalk Talk going on, somewhere in the world, every week.
An important aspect of the Sidewalk Talk dynamic is that the volunteers are not showing up as therapists – they’re not even showing up as helpers. They only show up in the role of a curious listener.
“I don’t think it’s a different experience than a therapy office. I think I experience it differently because I’m not in a therapy office. The context changes how I receive it.”
The one thing that Traci has to train the non-therapist volunteers to do is regulation, both inside of themselves and the person they’re listening to. Over sympathizing can burn out the volunteer and unbalance the person talking.
Sidewalk Talk is changing the world because it’s a disruptive social technology.
- When you see people listening in the street, whether or not you participate, your mindset changes.
- When someone listens to you, it encourages you to do the same.
- When you engage with your community, it’s stimulating and you want to do more.
Listening projects can also disrupt the intense political dichotomy in the U.S. The 2016 election shows that many people don’t feel they are being listened to, so Traci’s next step is Sidewalk Talk On The Road 2017.
“Human connection is always the solution. Solutions are not the solution.”
Volunteer to listen in your community at www.sidewalk-talk.org.
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Resources:
- Connect with Traci on TraciRuble.com
- Volunteer to listen in your community at www.sidewalk-talk.org
- Register for Wisdom 2.0 and see Traci speak
- Sidewalk Talk On The Road 2017 - April 10-16, 2017
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Today, we’re exploring The Suffer Lab with Lt. Col. Phil Forbes.
“You’re going to suffer to grow. Things aren’t always comfortable.”
In episode 2, I talked to Phil about leadership. Phil has been affiliated with Special Operations for the majority of his career and has supported numerous contingencies worldwide. He has commanded at the detachment, squadron, and group level in garrison and in combat and has been awarded the Bronze Star on two occasions. He presently works in the Pentagon for a three-star General as an Executive Officer.
We’re used to thinking that stress and suffering are bad, but they’re instructive. Experiencing stressful situations, physically or mentally, teaches you about how your body responds to stress.
You have a choice about how you respond to suffering. If you make a conscious decision to frame the experience in a way that serves you, then you will develop better skills for adapting to greater suffering, in the future.
The Suffer Lab is self-imposed suffering, with defined limits. In the Lab, you know the experience is finite so you can more easily practice making conscious choices.
Phil suggests putting yourself through The Suffer Lab in any area of your life where you find weakness, or a deficit. It’s difficult – you have to be really honest with yourself – but that’s where the real growth is.
“Suffering ceases to be suffering the moment it finds meaning.” –Victor Frankl
If you want to learn more about the benefits of suffering and discover more of Phil’s amazing stories, then you’re in luck! Phil is publishing blogs on Medium and you can follow him here.
Resources:
- Follow The Suffer Lab on Medium
- Antifragile by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Mercedes Samudio, LCSW runs a practice and brand called The Parenting Skill.
Over time, Mercedes realized she wanted to coach and empower her parents – she didn’t necessarily want to do therapy with them.
Parents really need to learn how to connect with their child and still be a full human, while making sure that their children are safe, growing and developing. She helps parents learn their own unique skills.
An important tool for Mercedes is empathy. She understands that each person is different and each parent will parent differently. “You don’t have to wait until you’re an expert, because each and every single one of us is technically an expert in understanding our perspective and our philosophies.”
Another important tool that Mercedes has embraced is live video. Live videos allow her to show off her passion and show up as her genuine self. Being genuine helps others do the same, and it brings the clinician and the client to the same human level.
Many of the problems that parents experience can be traced back to the expectations and shame associated with certain roles. Those norms create barriers to our own growth and the shame obscures our genuine self. Mercedes’s coaching can empower someone to overcome shame and limiting beliefs.
Mercedes is working on a book titled Shame-Proof Parenting. It explores how to identify shame in your life, in your family and in your parenting, and what you can do to shame-proof your life.
You can learn more about Mercedes at TheParentingSkill.com or by following her on social media (links in the resources below).
Resources:
- Connect with Mercedes: Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | LinkedIn | Instagram
- Learn more about The Parenting Skill
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Either we’re asleep or we’re awake. Either we’re consciously aware of something or we’re not.
But we don’t become awake from reading books or having conversations. We wake up when we experience things, and we experience things differently based on our mindset.
Mindset Shift #1 – Don’t Get Wrapped Up in the Things You Can’t Control.
- I don’t necessarily think politics is the problem, I just don’t think it’s the solution.
- Other individuals will not solve your problems or improve your life.
Mindset Shift #2 – Loving & Accepting Every Experience
- Accepting the fullness of an experience will allow you to see the good in the bad, and it will help you learn to love every present moment.
- When you’re doing things you don’t particularly like, you can learn to love them because you know those things serve your greater purpose.
- When we experience hard times, we tend to quickly judge those as bad experiences. When we make that snap judgement, we miss the bigger picture of what we’re experiencing.
Mindset Shift #3 – Being a Victim Vs. Being Victimized
- We’ve all been victimized. We’ll be victimized intermittently throughout the rest of our lives.
- The difference between being victimized and being a victim is that being a victim is a role we assume, and it is a role that sheds responsibility for the circumstances we have been given that have been out of our control.
- What is in our control is our ability to react and be proactive
Mindset Shift #4 – Don’t Waste Energy on Can’t
- If you want to find an excuse to not do something, you will always find an excuse.
- Excuses can be real – that doesn’t mean you have to focus your energy and attention on them.
- It’s a choice to find reasons why you can’t or reasons why you can. In almost every situation, there are reasons for both.
Mindset Shift #5 – You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers to Start
- As a therapist, we often feel that we need to have all of the answers before we can help solve someone’s problems. But the reality is we can’t. We’re never going to have all the answers.
- You don’t need to be the ultimate subject expert to start anything, because that’s all subjective.
- The answers that you need to apply aren’t necessarily coming from other people’s information. Your answers come from your experiences.
Mindset Shift #6 – Don’t Be Afraid to Show Up
- When you try to meet other people’s expectations, you can’t fully show up.
- You can’t be the thing you think other people want. Not everyone will like what you do, but there’s plenty of people who will embrace who and what you are.
- You have to understand and recognize what you show up as. If you show up, you have to understand that there’s value in that.
- We want to see people and things that are true and aren’t hidden by an agenda. People love authenticity, whether we realize it consciously or not.
Mindset Shift #7 – Embrace Stoic Philosophy
- “The single most important practice in stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t.” –The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
- Stoicism helps you look at the neutral nature of the universe. It responds to what you put out there.
I truly believe the world will start to change when we all start recognizing what we have internally as valuable, and when we recognize that the things we put out into the world are valuable.
Act. Do. Try. Don’t be afraid of failing.
Resources:
- The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living by Ryan Holiday
- “What Is Stoicism? A Definition & 3 Stoic Exercises To Get You Started”
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Ernesto Segismundo, M.S., is a marriage and family therapist who mastered marketing skills to help him grow his private practice. He trains other therapists to do the same by promoting their practice through social media and video marketing at www.FYLMIT.com.
Ernesto emphasizes how our origins and perception affect how we define what is possible and what is a success. When we achieve what we believe to be possible based on our origin, then we run into an upper limit problem.
This upper limit problem can look and feel a lot like burnout, but it’s likely rooted in fear. Reaching your perceived upper limit can lead to losing focus and subconscious self-sabotage.
You’re not failing – you just don’t know how to handle your success… yet.
“You are successful, but you don’t know how to handle that type of success.”
When we re-think burnout, we can stop blaming external factors and start taking personal responsibility. When you take personal responsibility, you can start actually addressing the problem.
Sometimes the upper limit problem is necessary. If we never struggle then we lose motivation.
When Ernesto started addressing his upper limit problem, he started improving his mindset.
- He fostered more creativity
- He was more generous with himself
- He became intentional about what he put out onto social media
- He gave himself the permission to be happy, open and honest
What’s beyond your upper limit?
According to Ernesto and Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap, genius is beyond your upper limit. That’s where you can be the most creative, most generous and get over your imposter syndrome.
The upper limit problem is out there – it’s a psychological, emotional and relational toxicity. If you do not address it, then you will never reach the peak of your business, relationship or personal development.
You can address it by reaching out to business coaches, mental health professionals and life coaches that specialize in this area. You don’t have to solve it, you just have to be aware of it.
Resources:
- Learn to promote your practice on social media: www.FYLMIT.com
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The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level by Gay Hendricks
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The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Lanie Smith is the owner and founder of Integrative Art Therapy and Registered Art Therapist. She is on a mission to reduce the chronic burnout that is common for so many women, parents, helpers, and healers using the power of art, nature, and the creative process.
You don’t have to be artistic or have any art experience to benefit from art therapy. Lanie didn’t discover art until she was 18-years-old. Everyone has a creative side, some of us just lose touch with that part of ourselves as we go through adolescence and become more self-conscious.
“This isn’t about you being the best or the worst artist. We’re not judging it. We’re just using a non-verbal style of communication here. This is just another outlet for you to express yourself.”
Embracing creativity can help change behaviors that are reinforced by ourselves and society, and these behaviors can cause us to push ourselves and burn out.
You can embrace creativity in any part of your life – it doesn’t have to involve putting pen to paper or paint to canvas. You can be creative in the kitchen, at work or even in your closet. There’s no limit to the number of ways that we can be creative.
“You are enough. Regardless of how overwhelming things might seem, whether you’re starting a new practice or you’re a new graduate in school or a parent with multiple kids, you are enough.”
Lanie and her practice are a much-needed force of welcoming and warming in an over-worked world. Learn more about Lanie and her practice at IntegrativeArtTherapy.net and learn about her new project, a couple’s retreat with her significant other, at TheHeartMattersRetreat.com.
Resources:
- Integrative Art Therapy
- The Heart Matters Retreat
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Dr. Lily Zehner, MFT-C, specializes in sex, intimacy and relationships. In this episode, we explore the journey that led her to developing her unique set of skills.
“I often tell people that I have thick skin and a tender heart. It takes a tender heart to really work with the people I’m working with and to really understand what is going on and what is felt and what is needed, but thick skin because there is so much shame and so much judgement.”
In the household that Lily grew up, sex was considered the devil, dirty and wrong – but she always had a curiosity about sex and sexual expression.
She also grew up divided between different identities.
- She is a first-generation American
- She is hearing, but her parents’ are deaf
- She grew up in an upper-middle class neighborhood, but she grew up poor
- She is a person of color, but surrounded by white people
“Understanding how these different parts of my identity intersect and how that impacts how I show up in the world and how I experience things – it really is a big part of how I show up in the room with my clients.”
There’s many layers to her identity and her experiences that don’t necessarily fit together, and all of it combines to influence her true calling in life.
She has come to realize that her true calling is to create a space where she can be show up for people and allow them the space to really be who they are, honor who they are, explore who they are, discover who they are, and share themselves with others.
“Give yourself permission to show up in this world exactly as who you are – whatever that may be, without shame, unapologetically – and know that, the more we all do that, the better we will be.”
I really respect the awesome work that Lily is doing. I think she’ll help a lot of people, which will in turn help change society’s perception of sex and sexuality for the better. You can get in touch with Lily at DrLilyZehner.com.
Resources:
- Get in touch with Lily at DrLilyZehner.com
- The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Fiachra O'Sullivan is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a practice in in San Francisco. Couple’s counseling is tough – a lot of therapists shy away from it – but Fiachra loves it.
Fiachra is also launching Empathi.com, a free tool for couples to learn about who they are, and who they are together, from an attachment perspective. Couples will receive daily reminders or prompts that will help them continue to tend to their love and relationships.
“Love matters, and because it matters so much you’re going to feel threatened in moments where it looks like that love isn’t present.”
He is using a digital platform to share this information for free because he doesn't believe people should have to spend hundreds of dollars if they want to work towards greater understanding and healthier relationships.
As a couples therapist, Fiachra has to do all of the things an experiential therapist does, but he also has to match people’s energy and actively become a part of the session.
“There is nothing I will be able to do with a couple unless we have an alliance.”
Fiachra describes himself as the typical psychotherapist cliché in that he was drawn to the field by a desire to heal his own emotional pain and suffering – he also considers this one of his greatest strengths as a psychotherapist.
“The number one qualification I have to do this work is I am another wounded human being that has managed to do my own personal work so I can help other people.”
Fiachra believes it is unbelievably powerful to be comfortable with who you are, warts and all, but it has taken him a long time to achieve that comfort. It helps people feel safe and contained.
“The most important rule for me is that nobody gets shamed. No one will ever leave my office having felt shamed.”
Fiachra is hugely influenced by Sue Johnson – the creator of Emotionally Focused Couples Training (EFT). There’s a map that allows him to keep track of where they are at nearly every moment, and “the moments where I’m not sure where we are? That’s where there’s potential magic that can happen.”
Fiachra does really important work and I appreciate having the opportunity to talk about the challenges of couples therapy, why he is launching Empathi.com, and the journey that he took to discover his True Calling. Check out Empathi.com to see what Fiachra is building and head over to TherapyWithFigs.com to learn more about his practice and read his blog.
Resources:
- Learn more about Fiachra: TherapyWithFigs.com | Fig’s Blog
- Empathi.com – A FREE tool for couples to learn about who they are from an attachment perspective
- Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Welcome back to the True Calling Project. Today’s guest is Nicole Gordon, licensed marriage and family therapist, and she has a very unique way to approach couples and family work.
Nicole sees clients in both a private practice and in their homes. She practices experiential therapy that uses cooking as a tool. It’s basically a platform to help clients understand themselves in situ and relate their emotions or thoughts to what has come up in traditional talk therapy.
“By going through the process themselves, they’re able to observe more about themselves.”
What does cooking therapy look like?
- It starts with an introduction to talk about the clients’ backgrounds and goals with therapy
- The activity might involve a couple or family creating something together, creating something for each other or creating something without knowing what the ingredients are
- The activity is geared towards the clients’ goals
- During the activity, Nicole will ask questions to help clients process along the way
“People love it because they get to do something fun, but also relate to each other in a safer way.”
Cooking therapy sounds fun, and we don’t typically think about psychotherapy as something enjoyable or fun. It’s a refreshing approach to couples and family therapy that focuses on what patients observe about themselves during the process, as opposed to what Nicole observes about them.
“It was taking two loves and putting them together and saying I can do both at the same time.”
Nicole is writing a dissertation about the relationship between therapy and cooking. She is particularly interested in the different physical and emotional levels on which people relate to cooking.
- On an instinctual level, we eat to survive
- On a family level, we relate food to different cultures and traditions
- On a societal level, we relate food to health, enjoyment and more
- On an emotional level, different foods and dishes affect us all differently
Nicole has truly found her true calling. She learned to find joy and creative expression in what she does – an empowering technique that you can apply to any career to improve your life and the lives of people around you. You can learn more about Nicole and her techniques at BoutiquePsychotherapy.com.
Resources:
- Learn more at BoutiquePsychotherapy.com
- Email: Nicole@BoutiquePsychotherapy.com
- Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta M Gilbertt
- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- Happy at Work: 60 Simple Ways to Stay Engaged and Be Successful by Jim Donovan and Steve Rizzo
- Working Happy: What Great Bosses Know by Jill Geisler
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Today’s guest, Jane Zarse, is the author of Love and Compassion Is My Religion: A Beginner's Book into Spirituality. The book is a guide to finding your spiritual self – no matter how much you've lost yourself. It's a guide on how to find your way back.
“Spirituality saved me, so I felt compelled to pass that on.”
Jane fought bulimia and drank to excess after graduating from Boston University, then worked first as an actress and later as a high-volume trader at Chicago's Options Exchange. She lacked compassion for others, but didn’t realize why until much later.
Jane lacked compassion because she didn’t really love herself. Spirituality helped her embrace authentic self love – the desire to take care of yourself, even when it requires a tremendous amount of sacrifice.
Jane was first introduced to spirituality in Alcoholics Anonymous, which was actually disconcerting at first. She didn’t know if it was religion or what was going on, but she knew she didn’t want to drink herself to death. She learned to tap into something bigger than her, and that helped.
“I was sick and tired of being sick and tired for years, but nothing changed until I was sick and tired enough to be willing to do something about it.”
These principles can be applied to anyone who feels stuck.
- Be honest – You can’t fix anything you won’t acknowledge.
- Find hope – Hope can produce positive results in your life.
- Pray – Jane believes in the power of prayer.
“You have to first admit you’re immersed in the quicksand before you can conceptualize a way out.”
You can’t live a good life with a bad attitude, whether you find a good attitude through hope, a higher power, meditation, or the people you surround yourself with. Jane shares a powerful journey about getting unstuck and bringing herself up from rock bottom to a place where she has authentic self love through spirituality. Jane’s book is an excellent starting point for others interested in beginning their own spiritual journeys.
Resources:
- Love and Compassion Is My Religion: A Beginner's Book into Spirituality
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
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Should you quit your job? Over the past few years, I have seen a lot of discussions and advertisements online encouraging people to leave their job, take risk, step into the unknown and really go for it. I want to offer another perspective.
I did quit my job about two years ago, and it did open up new opportunities in my life that I would not have had otherwise – however, in hindsight, there are a few things I would have done differently.
Eckhart Tolle suggests that there are three ways that we can improve a situation in which we are unhappy:
- Can you change your situation?
- Can you accept it?
- Should you leave it?
Before you decide to leave a job, first consider what about the job is making you unhappy. Are you doing things you don’t like, or not doing enough of the things you enjoy? Improving that situation may be as simple as sitting down to talk with a supervisor.
“Practicing acceptance within my line of work has really been focused on the fact that I need to be present with the people that I’m working with and that I’m connected with.”
When we’re talking about changing things, we’re approaching the situation from a cognitive or logical mindset. When we’re talking about accepting something, we’re coming from a place of being in the moment or noticing our resistance. Is there something we’re resisting in our work environments? Are there things that we can acknowledge as common consequences or inconveniences of any job we might have, and view them as things we have to deal with to do the things we love to do? Acceptance can lead to gratitude.
“When I adopt a mindset of gratitude in my work, it’s that I recognize the awesome potential of what it is I’m actually doing.”
The question then becomes, when can I or should I leave my current situation? No one can answer this question for you, but good planning can help you figure the answer out for yourself.
- Take an inventory of your financial situation, and how it will be impacted if you leave your job.
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- If you’re transitioning from a job with steady income into a job without a steady income, you’ll want to save at least 6 month’s income.
- If you’re transitioning from job with steady income into a job with less steady income, you’ll want to save at least 3 month’s income.
- Why do you want to leave your job? What opportunities will open up that are not currently available?
- Talk to people who have already transitioned and learn from their experiences.
- Abundance vs Scarcity
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- The idea that things are in scarcity keeps many people stuck in their current situation.
- When we come from a place of abundance, we realize that time isn’t necessarily finite. Just because we don’t like where things are at now doesn’t mean things won’t get better.
So, should you quit your job? Before you make the decision: slow down, consider your motivations to make the change, take a personal inventory, do careful financial planning, consider the unexpected, and identify things that you can change today to improve your situation.
Resources:
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
- The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
- Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
- Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
Production & Development for the True Calling Project by Podcast Masters
Welcome to the True Calling Project. I’m your host John Harrison, professional psychotherapist and coach, and today I’m talking to a long-time friend, Lt. Col. Phil Forbes. Phil has been affiliated with Special Operations for the majority of his career and has supported numerous contingencies worldwide. He has commanded at the detachment, squadron, and group level in garrison and in combat and has been awarded the Bronze Star on two occasions. He presently works in the Pentagon for a three-star General as an Executive Officer.
“On a very small scale, we can affect great change in our lives by being a little audacious.”
Phil and I met as freshman at Virginia Tech and the Corps of Cadets, and like most of us he struggled with the regiment of military life. At one point a few weeks after we started he actually considered quitting. He was visited by Medal of Honor Recipient Col. Wesley L. Fox, who served as an assistant commandant, and was asked the fundamental question: What is your five year plan?
“It was a very diplomatic way of saying, ‘you’re missing the big picture, Phil.’”
This heart-to-heart meeting with Col. Fox meant a lot to Phil, and he came back from Fall break mature enough to accept that step into a new existence. This was a huge turning point in Phil’s life.
“It wasn’t so much the fact that it was the military or it was the Air Force or it was my uniform or shining my shoes. It was structure, and it was allowing yourself to become part of something bigger.”
Phil considers being a commander to be one of the rewarding experiences in his life. He has been a commander three times in combat and once in garrison, or in a peacetime setting. Each time has presented its own challenges and unique demands because each command was different in the extent to his control or what was expected of him.
“The most rewarding aspect of command is not that I was in charge of people, but rather that I earned those people’s respect.”
Phil shared a few lessons that he learned from 18 plus years in the military. He emphasizes that leadership is about being seen, not necessarily being heard or getting your fingers in everybody's’ pie. Good leadership is characterized by:
- Being available for people
- Having the appearance of ubiquity
- Admitting when you don’t know everything
- Knowing when to show gratitude
- Realizing that the people you are in charge of weren’t drafted – they’re volunteers
It’s great to see Phil doing such amazing things, and taking such a high leadership position gives me a sense of comfort and assurance that things are evolving and changing. I thank him for his service, and I appreciate him coming on the show to share. If Phil left any stones unturned and you’d like to get in touch with him, you can email him. Phil lives with his awesome wife and children in Northern Virginia and is an avid cyclist in his first season of racing cyclocross. When he's not raging on his bike, doing something outdoors, or writing, he's probably listening to Best Coast while home brewing.
Resources:
- You can send Lt. Col. Phil Forbes and email if you have any more questions
- The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
- Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain
- Team of Teams by General Stanley McChrystal
Interested in learning more about how I can help you through coaching? Find out more at www.johnharrisoncounseling.com/individual-coaching/
I’m your host John Harrison, professional psychotherapist and coach, and I’m getting the project started by talking to someone who has been a big inspiration to me. Melvin Varghese is a therapist and Founder of the podcast and blog Selling the Couch, which helps aspiring and current mental health private practitioners to become better business owners.
“If you want to get to a certain place, one of the best time and financial investments you can make is to invest in people that have already done it and have had success.”
Melvin and I talk about how he found himself in the mental health podcasting niche, the things that he learned about himself and his business by starting a podcast, and great tips for people looking to further their careers by starting a podcast.
Melvin saw an opportunity to serve a larger population and develop alternative income streams by podcasting. It is a unique medium because podcast listeners are consuming episodes passively, while doing other things, and headphones allow podcast hosts to speak directly into the ears of their listeners.
“At the end of my life I didn’t want to have a bag of I Wish I Had Done This and Regrets. I wanted to have a life where, even if I failed at something, I could tell myself and I could tell my family that at least I took the step.”
Selling the Couch’s first episode launched with nine listeners during the first week. It currently has around 170,000. So many people stop when they feel overwhelmed or feel the process is taking too long, but Melvin believes the most successful people understand that the building stage is temporary and necessary. Overcoming obstacles in the season of building will help prepare you for growth.
“Everybody goes through the season of building.”
If you are interested in starting a podcast, Melvin has some great advice:
- Launching a podcast has a lot of potential because it is still a new medium, but it is not easy on a practical level or an emotional level.
- There’s a lot of free content all over the web. Melvin has The Complete Guide to Launching Your Podcast available for free on his website.
- Invest in people that have already started podcasting and have had success. Reach out to people who resonate with you or hire a coach.
- If you’re at a stage where you’re ready to scale your business, a podcast can help you extend your reach beyond your immediate geographic area. 71% of people are consuming podcasts on smartphones, and in 2016 there are 2.3 billion smartphones in the world. By 2020 it is projected there will be 6.1 billion smartphones.
Melvin has a very intentional morning routine that sets him up for success every day. He’s in bed by 9:00 and up by 4:45; spends his first hour drinking 32 ounces of warm lemon water, working out and meditating; then watches a TED Talk to get into the right mindset.
“If I’m going to consume media, I want to start my day by consuming media that is about people that are doing big things in the world because it puts me in the right mindset.”
Melvin is a huge inspiration and a key part of me launching this podcast, so I can’t thank him enough for being my first guest. His podcasting course is an extremely useful resource for aspiring podcasters, and you can find the Selling the Couch podcast on his website, iTunes or Google Play.
Resources:
- Learn more about Melvin: Selling the Couch | Facebook | Twitter
- Sign up for Melvin’s Podcasting Course
- Check out Melvin’s free Complete Guide to Launching Your Podcast
- Watch Simon Sinek’s TED Talk: How Great Leaders Inspire Action
- Blue Ocean Strategy by Renée Mauborgne and W. Chan Kim
- Learn more about me and my coaching at JohnHarrisonCounseling.com
Welcome to the first episode of True Calling Project, a podcast dedicated to exploring the purpose and meaning in our lives and chosen professions, how we can achieve satisfaction and fulfilment, and live our life to our fullest potential. Do we all have a True Calling? I’m your host John Harrison, professional psychotherapist and coach.