Talking ‘Bout My Evolution: Recent Episodes
Cat Bresser
Follow my journey of getting divorced, slowly upgrading my life, getting my first mastermind up and running, building my business, being a role model for my kids and helping improve the lives of others. I’m not sure how all this is going to come together, but one way or another it will. I’m ready to step into the best version of me and I’d love to help you figure out how you can become the best version of your own self. Follow me on my FB page: Cat Bresser. Leave me a comment, suggestion or any questions. I'd love to hear from you and thanks for listening!
I talk about trying to help Henry and his search for a car and how I'm a little frustrated by his thought processes and his not understanding that my time is valuable.
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I talk about how I got some positive responses and some help from a flurry of texts I sent out last week. My new helper started today and I also have received a few letters of recommendation. I also talk about forgiving more people, including myself.
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I talk about much of what I've learned from Caroline Myss and Rebecca Davison and how, if I followed their suggestions, I could clear out all my limiting beliefs, rewrite my story on all kinds of issues that are blocking/stopping me from living my best life, and forgive a long list of people in ONE YEAR. It's all about taking small actions every day, which I am not consistent about. And that makes me sad and mad at myself. (So here I need to rewrite my story about this!)
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I talk about listening to Rebecca Davison's training on forgiveness and how important it is and what I need to do to forgive various people in my life right now.
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I talk about Caroline Myss' online class The Great Transformation and how I'm finally listening to it. I also have some difficulty keeping my road rage in check and my concentration up.
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I talk about going to Pridefest with Fran, a jewelry show at my friend's house, shopping at the consignment store and scoring some exciting tops, and seeing my favorite band The Record Company.
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I talk about Jenny Walkowiak's funeral. She was one of the founders of Pathways High, where my kids go, and she died unexpectedly leaving 4 daughters behind. All the girls attend Pathways. The funeral was simple, but moving.
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I talk about a bunch of different things that are weighing on my mind, including being late to work, worrying about my student worker, traveling to Michigan, and my Mom's health.
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I talk about my niece's wedding and what the kids told me about it. It sounded kind of strange and sad, unfortunately. I discuss Henry and how he seems secretive about his money now. I told him he can be 100% in charge of his money, but he had asked me to help him manage it, so that's what I've been doing. I don't need him angry or frustrated with me, because I'm trying to keep him safe and make sure he's paying his managers. I also talk about trying to figure out how much Bill and I need to tell each other about our comings and goings. I
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I talk about how Bill was out of town and so I went over to move stuff out. (He wants me to do this.) I talk about how hard it is for me to be in his house and to see and smell everything there. I can't stay very long, because I get overwhelmed with sadness when I'm there.
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I talk about waking up at 3 or 4 a.m. and how that's supposed to be the best time to connect with God/Source/The Universe, but how it's incredibly unrealistic to take advantage of this open connection when you have to work the next day. I also talk about meeting this guy (who I thought was someone else) at the bar I go to after work sometimes and how he kind of asked me out and then freaked when I said I was flattered he asked me out. The entire encounter was very strange and unsettling. I'm not sure I'm going back to that place.
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I talk about the Mt Mary Mission dinner I attended. In two hours, I was able to meet a bunch of different MMU employees and get inspired about the school and our students. I also talk about how I reconnected with my high school friends and had a lovely zoom call. I also talk about how busy I've been and how that makes it hard to relax.
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I try and talk about my experience in the knitting lab the night before, but all this chaos is happening all around me as I'm driving and it really throws me off. Once things calm down I talk some more about the Holy Trinity -- three things to brag about and three things you're grateful for. I got my friends to try it and they thought it was strange, but good. I also talk about how we should all be celebrating our wins -- big wins and little ones. It's very important for our mental well-being to do this.
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I talk about what we did in Florida and how I developed a cough.
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I talk about how I consistently believe that I don't have very many friends in Milwaukee. This is because I keep comparing how many friends I have here to how many I had in Grosse Pointe growing up. If I focus on the fact that I have some excellent friends here, just not a ton of them, I can rewrite my story and feel better about my social situation.
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I talk as I walk around the boardwalk area in the mangrove forest down in Safety Harbor, FL. I also talk about how powerful my individual session with Patricia Kennedy was. She is very skilled and effective at moving energy.
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I talk about how our assignment after my coaching call was to see what I feel shame and guilt about in my life. I wrote ten pages of things! I found it interesting to note where I don't feel shame and/or guilt. I cleared most of it and am in the process of rewriting my story, so I can move forward and let those toxic emotions go.
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I talk about how energy and emotions get stuck in the body and create "frogs in the throat" or illness/disease. I also give the latest updates on the house.
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I talk about using the tuning fork with different intentions and how that moved a bunch of energy for me. I also explain about Patricia Kennedy's activation series that she offered on her FB page "For Starseeds Only" has activated a lot of anger and started to make it come up and out of my system. I view this as a positive change, but need some help managing it. After talking to Patricia, I agreed to work with her one on one to come up with some custom activations and strategies for moving the anger through more easily.
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I talk about my first coaching call in the program "Calibrate to Joy". I signed up to work with Rebecca Davison for the next 3 months. She's reminding me about ideas and skills I had forgotten about. She was also helping me realize that I need to forgive the parts of my body that I feel have let me down or disappointed me in some way. When I do that, massive amounts of energy open up for me.
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I talk about how I don't think any decision I've made in the last couple years has really been a good one.
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I talk about working on my kitchen and other major projects in my house and how difficult that was.
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I talk about how my life is getting shaken up by a surprise visit and how people aren't doing what they're supposed to and how that's creating problems for them.
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I talk about the practice of swamping and how important it is to move emotions through your body as they arise, otherwise they get stuck and cause disease and pain. I also describe how teary and emotional I've been lately.
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I talk about how I took massive action and bought a 3 month coaching package from one of my favorite coaches Rebecca Davison. I talk about the first session and meditating and also how I finally got my butt in gear to do some deep cleaning in my house.
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I talk about how to I can find joy in my life and question whether I should stay at my job or not.
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I talk at length about the HellaMega Tour concert the kids and I saw the night before. Weezer, Fall Out Boy and Green Day all showed up playing their hits and it was very fun.
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I talk about an incredibly uncomfortable conversation I had with the owner of the tree removal company and how he tried to bully me into backing down or denying that his company wrecked my garage door. I was very proud of myself for standing my ground, being respectful, and refusing to be mistreated.
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I talk about the excellent admin at the tree company who showed me humor and compassion when I was so upset and how helpful she was in getting my needs addressed.
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I talk about how the tree guys wrecked my garage door and how fun that was to discover. I also discuss the Chiron return, which happens every 7 years in a person's life and what this means.
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I talk about how someone I had been reading and listening to and really enjoyed studying suddenly turned extremely political and not in a way that I expected and how that has made me doubt her integrity and teachings. I also discuss how I don't want to be told what to think or believe or engage/interact with everything "out there" using fearmongering tactics to keep us "in our place". I want to go within and gauge the veracity of a situation by checking what feels true to me and to tune into the larger Truth at work in the universe.
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Chronically listening to the news, which is nearly completely bad news, manifests as an addiction and supplies dopamine hits to the listener, creating the same cravings and sensations as any other addictive substance.
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I talk about how I gave a "regular" person an energy reading and how different that experience was compared to reading my intuition friends. I also talk about how school is ramping up next week for the kids and how little or much they contribute to the household keep-up.
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I talk about the complications of trying to get someone to remove the tree off my roof. I also discuss how frantic the first day of the semester was and how I was the only one in the office to deal with everything, which made me angry.
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I talk about my afternoon at Irishfest the day before and how I chose to leave after listening to 3 bands, because my ears were overstimulated and tired from all the auditory input. I think listening to live music requires stamina and I never knew that before. The pandemic has made us all out of practice with festivals, crowds, and music, so I had to leave to get quiet again.
I also talk about how tired I am when I get home from work and how I want to escape from reality once I get home instead of doing anything constructive. This behavior makes me sad and anxious. I'm not sure how to feel differently.
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I talk about the difficulty I'm having getting an ID card for Fran. Part of it is because of the name change and part of it is because of the his being transgender. There are many hoops to jump through, but I know what to do next and we will figure this out.
I also discuss my irritation re: the abundance of crosswalks in in Wauwatosa and how it signifies white privilege.
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I talk about a bunch of different things, but what I'm really trying to figure out is how do I create freedom in my life? Financial, emotional, relational, geographical, etc. freedom? I feel restricted by my job and bank account and can't see a way past the restrictions I've imposed on my life.
I also talk about how I switched from instructing the Sonic Slider tuning fork to do actions to my body to intending that the SS will infuse my body with love with every application. The recording cuts off, so I apologize about that.
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I talk about work and the house - especially all the stuff cluttering up the house. I can't figure out what to do with everything I own. I also talk about trying to shift my mindset to bring in more joy so I'm not so overwhelmed all the time.
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I talk about how I had a series of power surges in my house that blew out a lot of my electrical appliances and my hot water heater. I describe my ensuing interactions with WE-energies and then switch over to discussing a few immutable laws I learned about last night. They are all about perfect timing in your life. For example, one is that everything happens at the right time in your life for you. Another is that everyone you meet is at the right time in your life. Lastly I discuss the need for the human body to shed toxins in order to get ready for evolutionary advancement. Switching to a more liquid-based diet will allow us to add more light to our bodies (eating lots of dense food keeps us stuck in 3D). Lastly, I mention that Dolores Cannon says that the pollution on Earth is much more far-reaching than just our own planet.
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I talk about how lucky I am to have so many spiritual teachers in my life, many of whom I know. I also talk about Dolores Cannon and her book The Three Waves of Volunteers, which I'm finding very fascinating. She's a hypnotist who normally does past life regressions, but has encountered many sessions in which the subject discusses off-planet circumstances. She simply transcribes what she records, organizes the interviews, and publishes them. She talks about 3 different ways to raise the vibration of the planet. One of them is to have fun. When you go out an enjoy yourself and have a good time, you change the vibratory pattern of the earth. Interestingly, wearing perfume also helps raise the earth's vibration. Having become chemically sensitive since having children and knowing so many other people who are sensitive to smells, I wonder if this is indicative of the low vibratory state of most people on the planet? Will clearing out more of my limiting beliefs and unhelpful thought patterns allow me to wear perfume again? Something to think about.
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Hello! We're back! I've decided to keep going in my story, even though it's rather out of date. Today brings more issues re: the tree on my roof, a detailed description of seeing the Brothers Osbourne concert in the rain and an edited version of my interaction with my ex later that night. His car was stolen from his driveway and his power also went out. I wound up going over there to see if I could help in any way and we had a lot of laughs and some fun having a couple beers together. The episode cuts off -- sorry about that. I'm guessing what I was going to say was that Henry wasn't that thrilled that Bill and I hung out together and actually had a good time, because that might be stressful and confusing for him.
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I talk about how my boss is now actively vetting multiple candidates for the Assoc. Registrar position and trying to speak in code when her door is open. I feel uncomfortable about all the secrets and hushed conversations that have started taking place since she started. I realize that if I don't get this job, I will need to look elsewhere for employment. I need my salary to reflect my worth.
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I talk about how the tree sitting on my power lines caused a massive power surge that took out a whole host of appliances and how WE-Energies came out and had to reconnect the ground/neutral line back up from my house to the pole. They could have done this days ago and prevented these problems, but they kept ignoring me and now I have not hot water, dehumidifier, fans, monitors and multiple lights.
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I talk about how I really wanted to dish some dirt last night and put people down, but the universe didn't want me to do that, so everyone I wanted to spill to wasn't available to listen. Then I discuss all the teachers and coaches I have in my life and how grateful I am to be able to learn from these gifted people and even know many of them personally.
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I talk about another crazy day that happened. I went to see the Brothers Osborne play at State Fair. They got in most of their set in between rainstorms. I almost didn't go to the show, but the ticket was pricy enough and Henry said, "What's the worst that can happen? You get wet?" So I went to the show and the music was so good. While I was there, Bill kept trying to get a hold of me, so I called him back as I was leaving. Craziness was going on in his world too, including an extended power outage and his car being stolen. I wound up going over there and spending the rest of the evening with him and his neighbor Rick laughing and catching up. It was really nice to reconnect as friends. I hope it happens again.
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I talk about how 1/3 of a very large tree came crashing down on my roof last night during a straight line windstorm. It was absolutely terrifying! So far the damage seems minimal, thank the Lord, but it is a massive tree that is covering my entire backyard. I'm pretty sure it's sitting on my power lines, but we still have power. I didn't know if I should leave the house or stay. I'm not sure what to do right now. (Ultimately, I called the insurance company and got that ball rolling.)
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I talk about my trip back to Michigan and how it didn't turn out so well. I discuss how my awareness of white privilege is now making it hard for me to go to places like GP and have conversations with my friends and family.
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I talk about some of the hoops I had to jump to spend some quality time with Henry. I also talk about how excited I am to see the Foo FIghters tonight and how fast the summer is going. I'm feeling in the flow of fun and happy summer moments and can't wait for my trip home that starts tomorrow.
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I talk about getting my first haircut in quite a while. I overanalyze this experience a bit, FYI. Then I switch topics and talk about asteroids in astrology and how the 4 major asteroids show up in my chart. Where they land doesn't really provide me with any additional insight into my personality or understanding of myself, but they do strengthen everything I already know about myself. Basically, a lot of my worrying tendencies and inability to handle criticism well comes from the heavens. Interesting.
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I talk about how I had all these good intentions to do stuff after I got home after work, but one small thing derailed me from doing any of it. Then I spend some time trying to figure out why I have to be doing something all the time to feel useful and worthwhile. I also talk about a plethora of nervous energy I'm experiencing, possibly a restless feeling from thinking it might be time to find a different job.
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I talk about how Henry is eager to branch out and wants to rent a space and start a recording studio. I have a problem with this idea for multiple reasons, not the least is he can't pay for his own car insurance right now, so how is he going to take on a monthly rent? I also have questions about the reliability of his friends. I know they are good friends and mean well, but who would obtain the lease? Who would front the expenses to buy more equipment and soundproof the space? I just don't see how this can happen when he can barely organize a trip to record/make beats/make money with his friends. So, yes, I don't think Henry is ready to take on additional financial responsibility at this time.
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I talk about what I'm learning in the book White Fragility. It's very humbling to me to realize that I don't have the first clue what it means to be a minority in the US. I have my experience as a woman, which comes with its own perils, but to be a different color brings so many further restrictions with it that I had never even considered. It is overwhelming to actually read through and see lists and descriptions of all the limitations minorities face in their day-to-day life and in situations where one is applying for something. There's so much more to write and say about this topic -- I can't possibly do it justice, but I'm becoming aware of what's happening and I will use this knowledge to be more understanding now and in the future.
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I talk about some recordings I was listening to of Dr. Joe Dispenza. He was describing how you can use meditation to visualize your future and create the reality you want. So many people talk about the power of creative visualization and this is one technique to implement it into your life on a daily basis. The key to visualizing is to add emotion to it, the more the better. It's the emotion that anchors the vision into your body and field.
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I talk about the 100,000 people who are anticipated to show up for the Buck's celebration parade today in Milwaukee and contrast these crowds to the lack of spectators at the "2020" Tokyo Olympics. I feel badly for the athletes there, but understand the hesitation of the Japanese people to host a massive international event during COVID.
I also talk about some of the enormous insights I have gleaned from reading White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. I guess she is from Wisconsin or lives her now. I didn't understand that the structures in place to keep white people "on top" are so huge you can't see around them and don't even realize they are there. That was a big awakening for me.
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I talk about how exciting it is that the Milwaukee Bucks won the Basketball championship. The city is out of its head right now with excitement. The crowds down at the Deer District were mind-bogglingly huge. I wanted to go down and see them, but didn't want to be around so many unmasked people. I'm glad I stayed home, because they showed everything I wanted to see about the crowds on TV.
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I talk about Caroline Myss' Sacred Contracts book. I finished it and the final section before all the archetype descriptions has many questions you would ask to "interview" your suspected archetype to see if it's the right one for you and how it shows up in your life, both in good ways and not so good. The question list is extremely thorough and daunting. Interviewing at least 8 archetypes to see if they are the right ones for you would definitely take some time. For good measure, you'd probably want to interview 10-12 to rule out the ones that might fit, so you can find the definite match. One of the interesting methods to figuring out what your archetypes might be (each person has 8 individual archetypes in addition to the 4 universal archetypes of: saboteur, victim, child, and prostitute) is to reflect on things you have always said to yourself or identified with yourself. For example, I consider myself to be one of the family archivists/historians and a life-long learner, so the student and the historian are probably two of my archetypes.
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I talk about my trip down to Chicago over the weekend and how it wound up being a super fun evening that was filled with dancing, relatives, and laughs. I had a great time hanging out with Michael and my cousins. It was a giant pain in the ass to get down there, but my cousin Heather let me stay in her hotel room, which was very gracious of her. There was some excitement leaving in the morning, because I lost my credit card while dancing, but luckily I had that $100 bill on me and the parking garage had to take it. They were irritated and told me they don't take bills higher than $20 and I told them they could either take the $100 bill, let me out for free or let me live in the parking garage for the rest of my life. They didn't like any of those options and made me wait for about 45 minutes while they made change. Eventually I was sprung and made my way home.
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I talk about how when you upgrade your life, be it getting a better job, updating your wardrobe, getting in shape, finding a rewarding relationship, ditching those unsupportive friends and/or family, you will probably get tested at your new level in order to prove that you have truly ascended to this next level. I have known this on an intellectual level, but it finally hit me emotionally that I am being tested with my house. I've felt like I shouldn't have bought it and it's a liability and a piece of crap, but really, I think, it's a test to see if I'm willing to allow greater happiness and security into my life. Realizing this has calmed me down quite a bit.
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I talk about how Henry has been feeling super stressed out lately and how I was discussing his business with him. Running your own business can be overwhelming and there are a lot of things to think about. I ran through a bunch of things he should be tracking, like mileage, expenses, gas, studio time, etc. However, I think talking over all the ins and outs of running your own business, saving for estimated taxes and budgeting is a little too much for him to take in right now. I don't even know if he'll actually owe any taxes, because he isn't making that much, so I might be overinforming him and lecturing at him for no real reason.
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I talk about two very different topics. In the first half, I discuss Henry's trip that he's trying to put together with a group of his friends. He isn't receiving timely information and I'm pushing him to make some decisions that he's trying to wait on. I've gotten irritated with him, because I think the proof is in the pudding, i.e., his friends don't really want to go on the trip or they would commit to it. Now he's frustrated with me and them, so I'm trying to let it all go for now.
I also discuss my confusion about how the archetypes line up with the astrological houses as Caroline Myss discusses them in Sacred Contracts. If each house has a natural sign and then our birth sign overlays that and then an archetype overlays that, how do you interpret all that information?
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I talk about Rebecca Davison's new podcast Intuitive Abundance and her interview with Chic Money Manager Jessica Giles. That was such a phenomenal interview, I actually listened to it twice. Jessica is a really interesting and enlightening person to listen to. I recommend you check out that episode and all the others.
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I talk about Franny and my experience at Medieval Times. It was a strange lunch, but enjoyable. I can't imagine working there or going more than once or twice in my lifetime, unless they change the dialogue once in a while. The food was good enough and Franny enjoyed himself, so I count it as a win.
I also discuss taking Franny to MIAD (Milwaukee Inst. of Art & Design) for his 3 weeks of summer classes. The school is amazing, the dorms are a thing of beauty, and I was so thrilled to realize that the student body consists of many different versions of Franny. He's going to have an amazing time down there and I am so relieved and excited for him. It's hard to believe how grown up he's become. I'm happy and sad about it.
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I talk about how when I wake up in the morning I take steps to pre-frame my day, but lately they've been falling flat. I decided this morning to look for a question that would really spark some excitement in my life and decided on: WWIT to love my life and allow myself to love my life? That question moved a lot of energy and I think it will open a lot of opportunities for me.
I also talk about people who take their knowledge with them when they leave and don't share it with others. In some cases, I'd say that is a tragedy and in others I'd say it is very selfish. Many times, it would be both. I'm struggling with separating the behavior from the person, but I don't like seeing someone new come in and be set up to fail, because someone who left isn't willing to share what they know.
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I talk about how I'd recorded a podcast only to discover that, once again, I hadn't actually been recording. The day continued to coast along in the same vein. I was very teary and off. Today I decided to have a do-over and try to turn things around.
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I talk about how I was delighted and surprised by the really enjoyable weekend I spent with my parents. We had a lot of fun together and I felt like we really connected. It was a real gift.
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I talk about how my front steps were finally finied and how the guy who did them overcharged me then asked me for more money as a bonus and then left and came back yesterday, so he could get paid in cash immediately. What a douchebag. I chose to pay him and be done. That is no way to do business! I would have kept hiring him had he not been so many things -- unreliable, greedy, whining .... Ugh!
So I've prepared the house as much as I could for my parents' imminent arrival. I have a fair amount of angst about their coming. I will do my best to make the experience pleasant.
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I talk about how I had a great self-care day over the weekend and finally felt a little bit more like the person I was in the Summer of 2020. I also talk about a beautiful tip that Eileen McKusick gave re: how to refrain from judging others. Instead of judging others, she blesses them. She sends lots of blessing their way and therefore bypasses being critical and negative. I love this idea and will adopt it.
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I talk about how I was especially late to work today, because I left my keys in the car overnight. I had to wake the kids to help me look for them and Henry was the one to ask that question -- thank goodness! But being extra late today was just one more day of being late with a different excuse. When I first started the job, I was fired up and worked really hard to get there in a timely fashion. Now I don't really care, because I don't really like my job. I've got to figure out how to bring some excitement back to my mornings.
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I talk about how learning about your archetypes can help you figure out what your calling is. I also talk about how Franny and I went down to the Chicago Art Institute and saw this show by this folk artist who didn't start painting until he was 70. He had so many pictures in this retrospective and they were from all over the world. He started painting because of a dream he had. I love that he heeded this inspiration. He was quite celebrated in his day and against many odds. I hope that I listen to my intuition like that when it strikes. I think I have ....
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I talk about how I had convinced myself that I'm still too new in my job to be of any use at the new student registration night. Part of that might come from seeing how I'm treated and have been treated compared to how upper management have treated my boss when she joined the school. While people express appreciation for what I do, it's abundantly clear that I am a low man on the totem pole. So that translates to me feeling like I don't know what I'm doing at work, but it turns out that I know plenty. Which feels good on the one hand and then bums me out that I have so little confidence in myself and my abilities on the other hand.
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I talk about how I've started to really enjoy shopping my heart out online, filling a cart and then abandoning it. It scratches that itch I get to do something nice for myself/buy something, without the cost or buyer's remorse. I highly recommend it.
I also talk about how my new boss is really relatable and acts quite human, aka "normal", at work, so that I don't feel like I have to be "on" every second I'm there.
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I talk about how my real plumber finally came back to help me with my washer and dryer and how I discovered that Nick messed up parts of my plumbing pretty badly when he put in the PECS. I was pretty upset about hearing that news and then angry that Ricky was pointing this stuff out to me and acting like I really messed up by hiring this other person when Ricky was the one who wouldn't come back no matter how many times I asked. I'm so sick of getting the runaround and feel like this wouldn't be happening if I was a man.
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I talk about all the vaccine stuff and negativity surrounding it that's on the news and at work. (N.B. I state some information about the percentage of people vaccinated in the U.S. that is incorrect, so please disregard that part of the podcast.) I am irritated because people at work don't want to sign up on the vaccine registry at work even though they are vaccinated, thus preventing the campus from going mask-free, because our numbers are too low.
I also talk about going over to a bar near work last night, which was a Monday, and how many people were there. I acted like it was the weekend, which I had no business doing, so I'm disappointed in myself. I had fun, but it's really strange partying on a Monday.
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I talk about how good it feels to take back a whole bunch of stuff that I didn't actually need. I returned the push mower that I was on the fence about and am so glad I did. It definitely felt like I removed a weight from my shoulders. I also was able to set up the makeshift kitchen on the second floor. Henry brought over the old childhood shelves from 59th St. and we set them up as the pantry area. I feel like I've taken one more step towards making the house better.
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I talk about how I've been listening to some of Eileen McKusick's clearing calls about food and the body and how I really enjoy her style and delivery of content. I like how she mixes the science with the energy and comes at the work from a really practical and researched point of view. I love how open she is when she's clearing and how she keeps the audience in the loop the entire time she's on the call. Her transparency is very enjoyable to me.
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I talk about how different it is having someone in the office with me all day. Even though I like my new boss a lot, I feel all this pressure to perform every minute of the day and it's starting to affect me and impact how I'm taking care of myself.
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I talk about how well the kids are doing this summer so far and how poorly progress on the house is going. I ultimately talk about many of the things I'm learning about archetypes from Carolyn Myss' book Sacred Contracts.
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I talk about how I finally took some massive action and unpacked all my books. I was up until really late, but feel great, because I did something to get myself more settled in the house. I also talk about dealing with my new plumber and how I feel gaslit by the whole exchange.
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I talk about how nothing is getting done around the house anymore for a variety of reasons and excuses. I also discuss how I'm not used to socializing anymore and after a busy few days need to take a break.
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I talk about how I've been buying tickets to see live music and so have my friends and it's very exciting. I can't wait to go hear some live music!!
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I talk about how I was going to end my day mad at myself and feeling gross when I decided that wasn't ok and got myself motivated and went for a walk instead. Making myself do something that was good for me really helped me shake out of my stupor. I've been sliding into a funk and all it takes is a little self-discipline to change the energy.
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I talk about how things are improving in my left, but somehow I cut off the episode. I decided to publish it anyway, because 2:51 of positive news is better than all the negative stuff I've posted recently.
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I talk about how my kids are too old too be micromanaged and that's a good thing, but makes me feel uncomfortable. I am used to being the helicopter parent or the rescuer and yesterday my kid told me to leave him alone, because he was fine and could handle the situation I was trying to resolve all by himself I am proud of him and somewhat shocked at my behavior and insistence that I come and fix "it". This news is good, but it will take me a little bit to let it sink in. I'm proud of my son for standing up for himself and telling me to back off.
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I talk about Franny's graduation ceremony and how nice it was and also reflect on how I was never certain we would make it to this point in his life. Getting the autism diagnosis when he was 3 seemed to rule out a "normal" life, but how wrong I was ... and happily so.
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I talk about how it's so nice to be in the new house at long last without worrying about the noise from my neighbors. I also discuss some things with work and Franny's upcoming graduation.
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I talk about how it feels being 100% out of the old apartment and how that is a mixed blessing. I also discuss the plumbing situation in my house and a few other thing that aren't going according to plan.
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I talk about how my backyard neighbor helped me with the plumbing in my house and how I shouldn't have hired him.
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I talk about how I moved in and how there are boxes and mayhem everywhere. I describe some of the gigantic task ahead of me to sort things out and get settled. I also envision a day when things will get settled. Lastly, I describe how I awoke in the middle of the night with the strong urge to throw up and how strange I thought that was. Probably nerves....
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I talk about my whirlwind trip home for my Aunt Mary's memorial and the Alger dinners and parties. It was so great to see everyone! I'm very happy I made the time and effort to be there. There was some family drama, but, fortunately, it didn't involve me.
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I talk about all the errands I ran yesterday and how there was the perfect couch in the perfect color for the perfect price waiting for me at IKEA when I went and returned the broken shelving unit. WOohoo!
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I talk about how I have a ton of things to do before I go to Michigan -- errands at Joseph Banks, IKEA, and other places. I'm trying to get it all handled so I can leave for Michigan with my to do list checked off, because I move two days after I get back.
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I talk about how I thought I had all this time to pack and get ready to move, when I'm actually nearly out of time. My trip to Grosse Pointe is happening at the worst possible time, but when I think about cancelling it, I feel sick inside. So I got up early and spent the entire day packing and got a ton done. Now I feel better and was able to get my well-meaning friend of my back.
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I talk about moving many of my hanging clothes over to the new house and why I have so many clothes. I spend some time discussing the pressure I feel to get out of the apartment and how taking the time to sort through my possessions doesn't seem like a good use of my time right now.
I also talk about the carpet fiasco that is developing at Carpetland. This place is the worst and has terrible customer service. They have treated me like garbage, but now that I'm calling them out on it, they are getting angry.
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I talk about the house some more and how I went through everything I'd bought from the big box stores and returned many things I realized I didn't need, didn't like or wasn't going to use and how good that all felt. I also give the latest developments on the house.
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I talk about all the numbers I have running around in my head -- prices, dates, and things. I itemize everything that has been done and needs to be done with the house before I go to Michigan.
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After a rough start to my morning commute, I talk about how I had an excellent weekend, on the one hand, and a terrible weekend on the other.
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I talk about how my head is filled with way too much information and it's not good for me or my energy levels. I also talk about all this stuff going on at work that is messing with me too.
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I'm back! Thanks for hanging in there! Here's more about the saga leading into moving into my new house.
Enjoy!
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I talk about how wondering if I owed money or was going to get a refund actually weighed very heavily on me and was such a relief to resolve in the affirmative. I also discuss how I did a deep clearing with Christie Marie Sheldon that uncovered the root of some of my right hip pain. Very cool.
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I talk about how all kinds of excellent money news came into my life recently. What a relief and a gift! Sometimes life is really grand.
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I talk about how I took two days off of work to play catch up at the house and what I actually did and didn't accomplish.
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I talk about what a lovely day Earth Day was at Mt. Mary University and how yesterday was an excellent day in general. After complaining so much the day before, it was truly heaven-sent to have an uplifting and congenial day.
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I talk about all these things that are bothering me right now -- getting all wrapped up in my job, worrying about the house, having unreliable workers, etc. This is a whiny episode ... sorry. Sometimes I just need to vent.
On a positive note: I hadn't been able to listen to my podcasts on my PC for the last week, but my most recent software update fixed the problem, so I'm back in business! Thank you for your patience.
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I talk about my relief over the guilty verdict. I hadn't realized how tense I really was waiting for this verdict. It's about time people start being held accountable for their actions.
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I talk about Caroline Myss again and her perspective on archetypes and why it is so important to understand them and use them to see the "big picture". When we can rise above the chaos and uncertainty of our immediate situation and sit back and look at the different forces/archetypes in play, we can realize that nothing about our situation needs to be taken personally. It's a power struggle in one form or another that has been played out over and over throughout time. Learn the dynamics relative to the particular struggle we are in and we can see our way out/the solution. Using archetypes simplifies situations that normally seem muddy and confusing. They are a very useful tool to have.
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I talk about what's happening and what isn't with the house.
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I talk about the latest and greatest going on with rehabbing my house.
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I talk some more about power vs. powerlessness and how I used this lens to make personal choices all yesterday. Viewing choice through this filter had me making more deliberate and empowering choices for sure. Realizing that I could add or subtract from my power with one choice prompted me to add more often than not.
I also talked about how I listened to Eileen McKusick's Healing Your Relationship with Money group clearing call and it kicked my ass! I really went deep on this one and need to listen to it many more times to get aligned with the frequencies that encourage money to come into my life more. I was so tired after listening to it. I highly recommend this GCE to anyone who is looking to heal their attitudes around money.
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I talked about some of the things I learned from listening to 5 1/2 hours of Caroline Myss talking about the Power of Choice. How choice is always a question of power -- does a choice make us more or less powerful? EVERY choice we make, from what we eat (or don't) to what we wear to who our friends are comes through this lens of power: does X give us power or make us powerless.
I also discuss how our words when we are talking to ourselves help us maintain or lose power.
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I talk about many things house-related and a little bit about listening to Eileen McKusick's Adrenal Reset Pt. III.
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I talk about carpeting -- carpet shopping, how all carpet is beige nowadays, carpet quality, the nasty carpet in my house, etc. So many things to think about with carpeting.
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I talk about how dealing with coworkers working remotely can sometimes add hours to my day in miscommunications and repeating myself in one email after another. I don't want to give voice to these irritations and make them more concrete, but I did want to vent and get this yuck out of my system.
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I talk about Eileen McKusick's description of the crown chakra and its attendant issues - namely our relationship with time. I also mull over my discomfort and anger at overhearing Henry's phone call last night with his grandparents. I am trying to let all those emotions go, but it is challenging for me.
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I talk about our adventures and my terrible sense of direction on our 3-night trip to Minneapolis. We had a good time and found out we were staying right next to the courthouse, where they are trying the former police officer who killed George Floyd. That was eye-opening and a great civic lesson for the kids.
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I talk about how the kids and are going to Minneapolis for a mini-Spring Break. I also discuss what happened and how I felt during and after the 2nd installment of Eileen McKusick's Adrenal Reset. Lastly, I describe my near-miss experience of avoiding a jogger and what happened to my car afterwards.
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I talk about how I opted to do a lengthy forgiveness and letting go session on my own rather than doing the whole full-moon ritual that Yasmin Boland recommends. This releasing and relaxing seemed the right way for me to experience the full moon this month. I still have so many people and situations to forgive and I've been doing this work actively for 2 1/2 years now. It's all a process.
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I talk about how I spent 5hours shopping at Home Depot over the weekend and how my brother thinks my podcasts are boring. I need more tonal variety in my voice apparently. He's criticized my flat affect before and I told him he doesn't need to listen to my podcast.
P.S. The sound quality deteriorates after about 5 minutes. :(
I talk about how I listened to Eileen McKusick's group clearing event for adrenal reset. This is part 1 or 3. It was a very powerful clearing, but so different from how Christy Sheldon or Rebecca Davison run theirs. I learned a lot and plan to have the kids listen to it, especially Henry. Cleaning up your energy is so important and the adrenals hold loads of information.
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I talk about all the exciting things happening with Henry and his music. He's getting a managerial team and is linked up with a couple different musical collaboratives. His beats are being used by the top recording rapper in Milwaukee, which is so exciting. So I just wanted to take a minute to brag about Henry and all he's done to get to this point in his career.
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I talk about lessons I'm learning from Eileen McKusick's book Electric Body, Electric Health. I love this book, as I've said before, and she has such insight into how energy is stored and moves around the body. Here are some tips for strengthening your solar plexus or base of power.
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I talk about progress on the house and all the ups and downs of my weekend.
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I talk about how I woke up feeling alert, refreshed and energized and how nice it is to accomplish things before heading off to work.
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I talk about how to navigate fulfilling requests from others when I'm so focused on myself right now and also how I was spontaneously activating my heart chakra yesterday, but didn't really realize it until this morning It's nice to know that my body and mind know what to do even when I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. The bottom line with obligations/requests at this time in my life: be honest about saying no and own it. (Which I did and all was well.)
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I talk about how my helpers aren't showing up and/or calling to let me know and how frustrating putting this house together is on my own. It's kind of a downer episode. You have been warned.
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I talk about how my tuning fork practice is going. I really enjoy using it and have definitely noticed results. I look forward to the day I look more like Eileen McKusick's fork-toned body, however. While I've seen improvement in the texture of my skin and in definition and tone in certain parts of my body, it's not uniform or consistent throughout the body. Maybe if I hadn't have eaten so many sweets this winter....
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I talk about how I am trying to reign in my feelings of being in over my head with the house. I am trying to look at the progress I'm making and look for solutions to the problems I'm currently facing. Prioritizing is important. For example, the painting is too much, so I'm going to start looking for a painter to help me.
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I talk about how I listened to Dr. Brian Weiss' "Past Life Regression" lecture on Hay House Audio and I found it really intriguing. He stumbled into working with his clients' past lives to cure their current ailments. I also discuss how Eileen McKusick has discovered two streams of past life energy that flow through each person's biofield. One can often heal themselves by acknowledging past life trauma, and let's face it, life before today was pretty brutal. I think the whole subject is fascinating and would like to do another deep-dive clearing to suss out some of my other past lives in which things went awry -- maybe I can heal my neck and shoulder discomfort once and for all.
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I talk about how there were setbacks last night in Franny's room with painting. Again, I'm trying not to focus on the problems, but rather on the solutions. I also talk about how it will be such a relief to be away from Lim and the constant pounding overhead, but how I don't want to say my life will be better when.... I don't want to use excuses for why my life looks the way it does. Wherever you go, there you are. I'm trying to find the positive in the present despite the challenges of living in my apt. building.
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I talk about how in an effort to save $15 and because I already own two measuring tapes (even though they are at Bill's house), I have wasted most of my "house" time all week buying things that don't fit. And then I'll have to return it all and, thus, waste more time. I'm trying to forgive myself for not seeing the forest for the trees, but this week just hasn't been a good one for me and the house.
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I talk about how nearly everything I've purchased for the house lately has been the wrong size, doesn't fit or work and I'm becoming very frustrated. Everything can be returned, but the sink stuff is bulky and a pain in the butt to get out of the house, back into the car and over to the store again. Aaaargh!
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I talk about how I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and how I don't want to begin my day by complaining (which I did), but by focusing on all the good things going on in my life. So I do my best to flip the switch and see everything that's going well instead of poorly.
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I talk about how I always seem to fill up that "extra" time I might have by overestimating how long something will take to do or by losing something. I seem to run late or just on time most days. Today my extra time was eaten up by not realizing I had left my keys in the door overnight.
I also talk about how my mom and my coach spontaneously reached out to talk to me and how nice that was. On the other hand, my conversation with my parents reminded me of how judgmental they can be and how I really don't want to talk to them about the house and its issues or progress.
N.B. I later discovered that my Mom did NOT call me out of the blue, but thought she was returning my phone call. I can't think of when I called her last and left a message, but I must have.
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I talk about how everything I'm doing, including the house, seems to be taking longer than anticipated. I got up early to work and I'm still late, because I left my keys in the door overnight.
I also talk about this webinar series I've been listening to that's hosted by Mike Dooley and how it's very simplistic. The messages are good, but he repeats them over and over. I don't know how he got an hour out his tips, let alone three sessions or a book. His message is the same as everyone else's -- you can make your dreams come true -- which is great, but his style isn't for me.
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I talk about Eileen McKusick and riff on her Electric Body, Electric Health book thinking about how you can create change in your body and your environment simply by using your mind. Eileen says you don't need tuning forks to move energy around. I think about music and a positive outlook as being chief in my tools for improving my life. I also talk about how I've raised my kids to be kind, courteous and helpful and how those qualities are not always at the top of people's desirable characteristics for their kids, but they are for me. I think if many more people could operate from a place of kindness and helpfulness, we could all create so much more brightness in the world that would be far-reaching. Idealistic, I know.
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I talk about how I bought this steam mop that an acquaintance was raving about and I finally received it and it was a total bust. It was a thoroughly used and wrung out piece of crap (pun intended). I wouldn't spend $5 on it at a house sale. And it didn't work AT ALL! I was so pissed! So I ordered a bigger and better one and am hoping for the best.
I also discussed how I have been craving sweets so badly and wanting to chew on something all the time. I was so distracted by it yesterday that I decided to tap on it to see if I could stop the madness. I tapped on the points for about 7 minutes and definitely moved some energy. I didn't have any major revelations until today (which I didn't talk about in this podcast, but will tomorrow, I think. I realized I have been "chomping at the bit" to get some stuff happening in the new house.) The tapping took away the intense desire to chew, which was a blessing. Tapping is such a useful tool and I often forget to use it.
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I talk about how I spent the weekend working on the bathroom in the new house and learning how to tear out old linoleum. I learned that there is a hard way and an easy way and I'm grateful that I only lost a couple hours doing things the difficult way. I did a great job of beating up my body by not doing a little research first.
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I talk about all the changes Anchor has made to its site and how it's now encouraging me to post in more places and get a Wordpress site going. I thought I could tie Talking 'Bout My Evolution with my Focusing on the Light website, but I couldn't However, Anchor/Wordpress went ahead and published EVERY podcast episode for me, which was a nice surprise.
I also talk about how I finally got to spend some time with actual human beings that I like last week, not that I don't like my coworkers, but they aren't my friends. Being with my friends made me feel hopeful and human again. I am looking forward to more contact with others in the coming months.
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I talk about how I moved quite a bit of stuff over the weekend -- extra books, extraneous things on my shelves, things from closets -- and how these couple of carloads actually made a dent in what the apartment looks like. I have been so worried about moving all my things, but I am actually making pretty good progress already, which is really encouraging. My goal is to always take something with me when I leave the apartment. So far, so good.
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I talk about how I finally got to see a couple friends of mine after not having seen them since last August. It was so good to see them and really made me happy. I loved catching up with them and relaxing with them as we brainstormed design ideas about the new house, talked about our kids and laughed at the dog. Having this connection really made my week.
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I talk about how the closing was kind of a downer -- the notary was really low-vibe. Afterwards I felt like everything was anticlimactic and kind of flat. I left work early and picked up Franny to buy some sage (so we could smudge and bless the house), tourmaline and selenite (to protect the house). We had a fun afternoon running around, which lifted my mood. Later that night when I finally got the keys and went inside my new house, I didn't know what to feel except overwhelmed.
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I talk about how today is the day I finally get the house! I am very excited! It's been quite the journey and it's all paying off today. Hurray!
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I talk about how I woke up ready to seize the day. The final walk-through went well and I am so excited about the house now. I think I can almost relax and believe it's all going to happen. I talk about how I keep making sure that all the i's are dotted and t's crossed, so there is no reason the house falls through because of something I did or didn't do.
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I talk about how we've had the most snow I've seen in 10 years and it is making me stir crazy in the apartment. I worked remotely because of another snowfall and there isn't a lot going on now in the registrar's office, so I'm kind of jumping out of my skin, because there is so much going on in my personal life and my neighbors are loud as hell.
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I talk about my rather quiet weekend in the midst of February and a brutal Alberta Clipper. I talk about my less-than-illuminating meditations and other things I did while hiding away at home.
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I talk about how the kids are already falling behind in the 2nd week of the 3rd quarter and how, in the course of copying files to an external hard drive, I had to reboot my computer and delete all my cookies/cache. After I rebooted, I had a time figuring out how to get back to my email account, so I detoured through the kids' school email accounts and saw that they aren't checking their messages, which instantly sent me up a tree and pissed me off.
I also talk about Eileen McKusick's new book Electric Body, Electric Health, which is very well written and very informative. I love the whole premise of energy medicine and she explains how it isn't a far-out idea, but grounded in science. I recommend it whole-heartedly.
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I talk about the new moon today and that it's time to make some new moon wishes. I also discuss some of the Mercury retrograde communication mishaps I've been experiencing lately. It's been a wonky time in the heavens, for sure.
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I talk about this brilliant video Caroline Myss released a few days ago in which she talks about how chaos affects people and what people can do to rise above the melee and violence to see the whole picture. It's a recap of her discussion of the apartment building and how we need to go up to a higher floor to understand what is happening around us.
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I talk about how I was worried that my energy had shifted around my car to bring the crazy back and how I've needed to shift my energy about so many different things in the last 2 years. As I was describing all the new and different stuff in my life, I realized it's all so many upgrades, which is a wonderful thing. I look forward to getting the house (or not, if the Universe has other plans for me) and settling in to all this new and improved energy.
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I try and talk about my weekend and how I had some incredible insights and learning, but everyone seems to be out of their mind today while driving that I end up mostly yelling at other drivers. Yay, road rage and maturity!
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I talk about how I have been listening to Kyle Gray talk about angels for the last week or so. I love his temperament and delivery style. He is a delight to listen to, due in no small part to his Scottish brogue. He talks about how angels are all around us all the time, but if we want their help, WE must ask them. They don't interfere, except in life or death circumstances. I talk about some of the other key take-aways I got from listening to his webinars.
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I talk about a bunch of things, but what stands out is what minimum wage really should be. Is $15/hr today worth $2/hr that minimum wage originally was? In that case, I am making "minimum" wage, even though it's not the real minimum wage. Then I have to think about how I am valuing myself and why I have accepted this low wage. I have more clearing to do around work and self-worth.
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I talk about how I was listening to my mentor Rebecca Davison's podcast and radio show, Find Your Bliss, the "11 Manifesting Tips" episode. I discuss some of her top tips to manifesting and then talk about how listening to this episode sparked a lengthy forgiveness session in me that opened up a bunch of space and moved some big energy out.
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I talk about Caroline Myss and a couple of her lectures I listened to that discussed archetypes: what they are and why they are important. I talk about how I felt like a lightning bolt hit me when she started discussing the Wendy and Peter Pan archetypes and how knowing I am Wendy has given me sudden and deep awareness about my marriage.
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I talk about how angry I've been lately and how I didn't realize how angry I was until I listened to my past 5 podcasts. I talk about how I need to release this anger and who/what I am angry with and/or frustrated by.
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I talk about how many people I had to talk to and some of what I had to say about how they are advising kids and how transcripts are interpreted and what the school could do to help resolve some of these issues. I'm still angry, but I got Fran back in his college-class.
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I talk about how my kid's school screwed up with the advising and scheduling and now wants to make my kid pay for their mistakes and I put my foot down and said no. I realized I need to escalate the situation, so I talk about it for a while.
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I talk about how different things are really triggering me about my job and it all dawned on me in a rush yesterday. I feel like I'm in trouble all the time and I can't stand it. I also am rubbing up against the fact that I am used to being the answer man, but in this job I don't know enough and have to constantly ask others for help. I think all this button-pushing is actually good for me and is helping me recognize, work through and clear some long-buried stuff, but yesterday it really got me down.
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I talk about having to give Fran his first testosterone shot at home and how anxiety-inducing and nerve-wracking an experience that was. I also talk about how I was supposed to take part in a full-weekend online retreat and how I ultimately didn't feel like it and how the thought of the retreat and people trying to direct my time and tell me what to do produced anger and resistance in me. I wanted to spend time over the weekend taking care of myself, but not in the same way that the retreat wanted me to.
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I talk about Mark Manson and his description of how rich people think and how poor and middle-class people think about money. I try and figure out where my beliefs lie.
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I talk about how the most recent house inspection went and how my house has a circulatory issue, which is really a power leak issue. I have decided to buy the house anyway and I'm excited about moving forward.
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I talk about the reporters bias in recording today's events and how some lightworker's believe in something radically different than the reality we are currently seeing. I don't understand how these lightworkers can hinge all their bets on one person -- that seems contrary to everything I feel I've been learning and cultivating as a more spiritually-centered person.
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I talk about all the crap going on in politics and in the country and how all the fighting is keeping us in polarity/duality, so that we can only see things in black and white. It's all or nothing thinking and it's destructive and not real. I choose to keep my focus on unity thinking as best as I am able.
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I talk about the kids today -- Franny's first shot in over 10 years and his hilarious reaction to how easy it was; Henry's reactions to his first shots in over 10 years and how he had to take them alone. I talk about Henry's music and Franny's difficulty in listening to instructions from his teachers.
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I talk about wearing leggings/yoga pants to work and how I'm not a fan, but couldn't resist wearing my new bright pink tights today. They do make me feel like a teenager and slightly inappropriate, but I made sure to cover my butt this time with a long jacket. So many people wear them and they are getting fatter by the day....
I also talk about Caroline Myss and her archetype "game" based on her book Sacred Contracts. Franny and I have been delving deep into archetypes and casting our charts with them. We've been discussing the results for three days now and have one more day to go. Trying to figure out why certain archetypes (like the vampire, in my case) have shown up where they have in the chart has definitely proved challenging.
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I talk about the current New Moon and how it's been affecting me and what the kids and I did to usher it in. I also describe what happened at the inclusion clinic with Franny and talk about my apparent prejudice and inability to honor a person by getting their pronouns correct. My gender bias bit me in the face today and I'm embarrassed about it. I have some work to do to correct this glaring deficit in my person. I also discuss the use of personal pronouns re: me, my and mine and how they color our perceptions of what things mean to us.
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I talk about how Franny is going to the inclusion clinic today and how Henry was at the podiatrist last week and how medical bills will become a prominent feature of my life again. I am not welcoming those additional expenditures, but am trying to remember that money is energy and comes and goes and that everything will be ok.
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I talk about my rationale and baggage around holding onto useable items in my house. I talk about the marketing manipulation of making trash the consumer's responsibility when corporations keep adding more and more packaging to items they sell, when I don't want that.
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I talk about how I finally had a weekend to myself in the apartment and how I spent it doing lots of cleaning, sorting, washing and thinking about what needs to stay behind in my new move. It felt so good to actually be organizing and taking care of my space.
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I talk about how a large police presence was all over the street and neighborhood last night because of a high-speed chase gone bad and how the cops were kind of jerks when I went under the tape (which covered a HUGE area in the neighborhood.) I also mention that there was a large police presence in the neighborhood, because something happened next door. I never found out what happened on either day, which bothers me. There were ambulances, multiple police cars and vans, a fire truck and tons of tape, yet nothing happened.
I also talk about listening to one of Christie Marie Sheldon's older group clearing calls, which I purchased for myself for Christmas. In this call, she lectures more than clears, but she still got me thinking about what I want to achieve this year. I realized I want to settle into my post-marriage life and live fully as me. I want security, safety, peace and quiet and creativity. I look forward to buying and moving into a house I can personalize and love. I look forward to spending more quality time with the kids and turning the house into a haven of peace and light.
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I talk about all the rioting, destruction and hate that happened in Washington, D.C. yesterday. I am disgusted and saddened by how the Alt Right behaves.
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I talk about how I've basically sat on my ass since before Christmas and that I feel stiff and uncomfortable in my body. I also discuss how the offer on the house I want to buy was countered, but in a very satisfactory way. I may soon be a house owner!
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I talk about how yesterday ended up having lots of fortuitous, serendipitous moments in it that made me so grateful. I counted at least 5 things that worked in my favor and restored some of my faith in my life. That sounds so dramatic, but life is hard for all of us right now during this time of social isolation and political upheaval and having these moments of grace are healing and worthy of noting.
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I talk about how I drove to Eau Claire with Franny to honor my cousin Henry's wife and Andrea's mom. Linda Gage died very suddenly on Dec 23rd. I was invited to the funeral and so we made the journey to celebrate and comfort my family. It was so sad and my heart goes out to my cousins.
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I talk about how this was one of the best Christmas' I ever had with the exception of a terrible encounter with Bill Sr. that I can't seem to shake.
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I talk about how I decided to go for peace of mind and joy when I bought my dream car. I had a hell of time buying the damn thing (which my aunt later told me I should take as a compliment, because it meant I was a tough negotiator), but now that I have it, I feel safe, secure and happy. I love my car! Now I can drive worry-free for the next 6 years. Amen!!
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I talk about how I feel like I've been beating my head against a wall trying to make different things happen with the house and stuff and maybe I need to rethink what I'm trying to do right now. Maybe I need to rent a 3 BR and get a reliable car before I commit to a house. Maybe I need to move back to MI sooner than later. Or at least take a breath and wait a little bit before I make another major decision.
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I talk about my pre-Christmas weekend and all the things I've been doing, including COVID testing and helping Henry get his first driver's license.
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I talk about the million pieces of paper and information that getting a loan entails. Thank goodness I keep all my receipts or I'd have been sunk! I talk about how much money it costs to take out a loan, as well. There is some real graft built into the process.
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I talk about how Franny and I played with the Moonology oracle deck last night and how wonderfully accurate the readings were. I love this deck and I didn't expect to. The artwork is far better than most decks and the simple definition on each card is enough to make the reading make sense to anyone. The book with its deeper insight can help you add more depth to your reading, but the cards work fine without any extra input. I really recommend this oracle deck, if you are in the market for one.
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I talk about how I'm trying to get everything accomplished and also be present for my son's 18th birthday. I have a lot of balls in the air, but, thankfully, I'm doing a good job of keeping track of them. I think my grounding products are helping.
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I talk about looking at different houses where the renters trashed the property and I wonder why people would do that. I also talk about how difficult it is to find a nice house in my price range and that anything that comes on the market right now is immediately involved in a bidding war.
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I talk about how Amazon sent me a picture of a package they delivered right on my front step with no attempt to conceal it. I drove home to get it and prayed that it was still there when I arrived.
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I talk about the astrologer Yasmin Boland and her 3-pt webinar series about Moonology. I talk about how the moon effects your moods and if you keep track of where it is throughout the month, you will start seeing patterns and be able to predict how your day will go based on where the moon is in the sky. Interesting stuff, in my opinion.
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I talk about how I'm still trying to find a house and how things are not going easily at the moment.
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I talk about how I am trying to move on and see what else is out there. I talk about how I'm planning on looking at a new beautiful home, but it's slightly out of my price range. It seems that most of the houses I want are $225K and my budget extends to $210K. I try and focus on all the positives in my life instead of the frustration of the house hunt.
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I talk about how we finally found another home we love after the profound disappointment of losing out on buying the first house we loved. I talk about how I devastated and angry I am that I missed another opportunity to live out my dream.
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I talk about touring a duplex and figuring out if I should bid on it or not. The duplex is in the right neighborhood, but isn't exactly what I was hoping to buy. It will need some work to get it the way I want to be and it smells, to be quite honest. I decided to put in an offer anyway, because it's a lot of house for the right price and it seems like the sensible move to make.
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I talk about how I started listening to Robert Ohotto again and I discuss some of his thoughts he had about how we can make decisions that are right for us. I also talk about how biases and filters that we picked up as early as in the womb inform our decision-making abilities and how we need to question our assumptions and beliefs when we look at something so we can try to get an accurate read on any given situation.
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I talk about how I was listening to a presentation by Wayne Dyer today and how he was discussing Lao Tzu and the Torah and how God's name, as told to Moses, is I Am The I Am (or something like that.) So when we say, "I am ..." we are invoking God/the divine. He was encouraging us to recognize the divine in us and others every time we use the words "I am".
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I talk about how the kids and I went to view a house we're interested in and how we lfell in love with it. It seems like a darn-near perfect fit for us, but it is $25K too expensive. That may not seem like too much in the grand scheme of things, but since the house is barely affordable for us if we got it for $200K, there's no way I can spring for that extra $25K and go up to the $225K they want for it. The house is totally worth it to me, but it's just not possible on my current salary. The taxes alone will be close to $6000 for a $200K house in Milwaukee, which is ridiculously pricy to me.
So we've put the house in a blessing ball and I've cleared any obstacles I have to buying it or receiving it and now I have to give it to the universe. If it's meant to be, then it will happen. I am doing my best not to let my ego or personal desires get too involved in all these decisions.
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I talk about how I had a good day -- at last! I feel 100%. I feel healthy, happy and hopeful and it feels wonderful. I have missed feeling like myself.
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I talk about how our Thanksgiving ended up being really nice and relaxing. The kids enjoyed getting to know their older cousins Henry and Linda and had fun with Andrea and Kelly. Dinner was great. The AirBnB was a great thing to get. The kids kept saying how much they liked it and we really had a good time together. The walk in the light display on Friday night was the perfect special thing to do and really made the trip memorable and magical.
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I talk about how all the news outlets are blaming the individual person who plans to visit their family this year for killing or infecting everyone else, when the real culprits for the spread of COVID are the inconsistent policies in place from city to city and state to state along with restaurants and bars that are still allowed to be open (some in the same states where people can't legally gather outside!). There's not a lot of rhyme or reason to some of these laws and restrictions that are or aren't in place. Because the messaging is inconsistent, it's easier to blame the individual for the spread of the disease than the Tavern League or private companies who aren't enforcing safety measures in their workplaces or public policy that isn't controlling the spread of the virus.
All this messaging is similar to how corporations shifted the burden of responsibility for pollution and littering in the 1970's onto the individual ("Don't be a litterbug!"), when it was their creation of single dose pop cans and the swift rise and production of excess packaging that created most of the litter problems. Corporate America turned the argument around so they didn't have to change their practices and accept the blame for causing all the environmental destruction that they created.
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I talk some more about my creeping clutter and how I took massive action this week to reorganize, clean up and declutter. My space feels lighter, more open and happier.
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I talk about how I keep operating from a place where I'm reacting to things instead of setting my intention(s) ahead of time for how I want something to turn out. Abraham talks about segment intending and I mean to incorporate it into my life, but I keep forgetting. What would it take to remember to pre-frame my day or segment so I can get the most out of everything I do and put the highest intention for optimal outcomes out there into the universe?
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I talk about how I had a conversation with Henry about how he's doing his marketing and networking and I can't help but marvel and what a natural he is at all this stuff. He's reaching out to influencers and looking at followers and buying ads occasionally and he just seems to "get" how all the social media stuff works. And it seems to be working for him and his business. I have had to learn all this stuff and I have found it difficult, cumbersome and unnatural (clear, transmute and delete!). At any rate, I'm very proud of Henry and all the steps he's taking to make his music a success.
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I talk about how yesterday's podcast was a disaster and how my current attitude doesn't reflect all the positive work I've done on myself for the last two years. I reflect on all the changes I've made and how I'm not going to let the last few weeks and months of feeling crappy and out of sorts define who I am.
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I talk about all the clutter and noise pollution creeping into my life and then the dinging in my car sets me off and I go into another tirade about all the B.S. currently infecting my life. (Best to skip this one.)
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I talk about how I am FINALLY starting to feel better. My mood is improved and my body is coming along. I am hopeful that I have reached the light at the end of the tunnel re: this insanely long bout of food poisoning. Here's to hoping I'm out of the woods.
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I talk about how I finally took the time, remembered, felt good enough to meditate this past weekend and what a relief it was to get back in touch with my Higher Self. The two meditations were powerful and so helpful. I need to make an effort to meditate more often. I think a few minutes of reflection or intent to connecting with my Higher Self may be all that is needed, even though I feel like I should block out 30-45 minutes per session. Something really is better than nothing.
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I talk about how I'm meditating, clearing energy and doing whatever I need to to feel better, I realized I have been running the energy of "Life is SHtty" and so I have been clearing it in all of its manifestations. It seems to be helping improve my physical condition and my mental outlook.
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I talk about my seemingly never-ending bout of food poisoning. Seriously! This is ridiculous, stressful, painful and it is creating a fair amount of shame in me about my body's failure to heal.
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I talk about how I waver between wanting to stay silent and not voice my opinion and wanting to keep my business to myself and realizing that by being silent I am complicit in letting the bullies and aggressors maintain their agenda. I explore microaggressions and the best way to treat those as a separate issue from shaming or going after the person behind the insults and cruelty.
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I talk about how I can't shake this food poisoning and it's making it hard to work, sleep, or live.
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I talk about how I got food poisoning and how it won't go away and how I'm trying to get through it.
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I talk about a bunch of smaller things that are really irritating me, even though I know that I shouldn't dwell on the negative or give voice to stuff that isn't going to make my life better. I'm frustrated with the dinging noise in my car and my inability to take it to the shop when I'm not working (They are closed on the weekends....). I don't like my realtor. I can't make Christmas plans and other fun topics. I do try to wrap the session up with being grateful for my job.
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I talk about part two of Dr. Joe Dispenza's four-part class and how he describes manifesting your heart's desires. His process is very similar to Abraham Hicks and their description of the Law of Attraction and how that applies in reality. Dr. Joe walks you through the different steps to making your dreams come true, including: being grateful for what you have before you get it, getting crystal clear on what you do want and setting your sights on creating something in your life that you can truly believe in and not just fantasize about.
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I talk about noise pollution and a class I'm listening to that's taught by Dr. Joe. In the first class, he discusses what feeling "normal" really means -- how it's a collection of feelings, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, behaviors/habits etc. that all come together to create our personality. Our personality is malleable and completely fabricated by what we think. His teachings echo a lot of what Tony Robbins has to say and show us that by changing our state consistently, we can eventually change everything about us, including our personality.
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I talk about how Henry is cruising through his backlog of work, now that I printed out the weekly packets. I don't understand how teachers can expect their students to read, comprehend, integrate and fully absorb the information a student needs without physical paper. Trying to read off of a screen and retain the knowledge is very difficult for me. Clearly it is difficult for Henry too. I wish the teachers would start asking better questions and offer more ways to understand the information a student needs. It is a proven fact that people learn in different ways, so why aren't teachers being more proactive? I get tired of being the one to figure everything out all the time.
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I talk about how my boss has been and continues to be ill and how the date of her return keeps extending out and how I'm freaking out about it.
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I talk about how my son Henry had dug himself a deep hole with school this semester and how he had to finally own up to the mess he's made and work on a plan to turn himself around. If he had just advocated for himself, so much trouble could have been avoided.
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I talk about any information from the webinar that I missed or glossed over in the previous two podcasts. I think this topic of dissociation is so important that I needed to really work through some more of the ideas from the presentation and understand how to recognize when someone is in a dissociative state and which strategies I can use to help them (or me) get out of it, both in the moment and in the long-term. Hopefully, you have found this information helpful too.
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I talk about some strategies you can use if you are dealing with a person in a dissociative state. I also talk about some more ways dissociation shows up and how this relates to me and things I've experienced.
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I talk about this webinar I listened to yesterday and today by the NICABM Behavioral Psychology group. Different psychologists discussed the phenomenon of dissociation and, while I've heard the term and learned about it in my Intro. to Psych class forever ago, I never fully understood what it was and never thought it applied to me. People rarely discuss this idea and they should. I've been doing energy work for over 2 years now and this is the first I've heard of it in any way. So much of the trauma I've been healing in myself is dissociation or the fragmentation of my identity to protect myself from physical, emotional or mental pain. I didn't know there was a word for it. Or specific symptoms. Weirdly, Franny seems to know all about it. He knows so many things! Maybe I understand it now, because I'm older or not as close to it. I don't know why I wasn't able to see how it applied to me, but basically almost everyone from my hometown seems to have some kind of dissociation. Maybe it was so pervasive, I didn't think people lived any other way.
I will explore this topic over the next couple podcasts.
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I talk about how things are finally gelling, moving forward, coming together -- you name it. I have a job, I was preapproved for a mortgage, my settlement is about to come through -- life is looking good. I'm so grateful. What a long time it took to get to this point....
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I talk about how my back is doing after I pulled it out of whack two days earlier. I talk about the lessons it has for me and how hard it is to move comfortable right now.
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I talk about how I can't stop listening to 70's Easy Listening music right now. I have gone through tons of music lists and my own memory banks searching for those feel good songs that are relaxing and work-appropriate. I just love this genre of music, which I find rather hilarious.
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I talk about getting my new suite of tuning forks and how excited I am to start using them and learn how to help people with this wonderful modality.
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I talk about how some really great and important things finally came together this week after months and months and months of waiting, while other terrible things happened and how I just couldn't physically handle all the changes and challenges.
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I talk about how my timeline has finally sped up in a huge way. It's as though the logjam has finally broken up and now things are flowing. It's a little unnerving how all these different balls that were up in the air are all starting to come down at once.
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I talk about how I got the full-time job with Mt. Mary University! I now have benefits, vacation time, sick pay, etc. I feel excited and grateful that this offer was extended to me. I feel validated after years of being a stay-at-home mom.
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I talk about how I feel like I splurged a little with the kids over the weekend and bought a few things that Henry needs to set up his studio and we ate out and generally had a fun afternoon shopping. I am trying to reconcile being frugal with having a little breathing room where my finances are concerned. It's really nice to be able to buy myself some of my beloved (and super cheesy) Hallmark Keepsake ornaments.
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I talk about how lovely it was to have a deep and caring energy clearing with my friends Meg and Stephanie. I hadn't talked to Stephanie in a while and it was wonderful reconnecting with her. The energy was so amazing last night and I'm so grateful for my talented friends and the ability to work with them.
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I talk about how the entire student body was told to go home at noon and stay there until next Monday due to the expected civil unrest that will result from the Tosa police office Joe Mehsa's probable acquittal for killing a black teen in February. This news will not sit well with people. This is this officer's third career shooting and second death. The boy was only 17 and people are angry and want this officer fired, at the very least.
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I talk about how the kids were so excited when they got to see the house on Monday night. They love it as much or more than I do and can't wait to buy it. I'm doing everything I can to hand in all the necessary paperwork so I can get preapproved for a mortgage and buy our house!
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I talk about how I absolutely love that house. When I left I was in tears because it felt so right and is just perfect for me and the kids. I can't wait to show them. It has so much storage and it's beautiful and it has new windows. I can move right in without a problem or take some time and do some cosmetic work. It's all good either way.
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I talk about how I'm finally going to go see the inside of the house that the kids and I can't stop thinking about or visiting. I apologize in advance for cutting the recording short.
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I talk about how I've started carrying tension in my body since my job began and how my lips hurt and it's annoying. I don't know how to clear it effectively. It's partially from wearing the mask and physically shutting my mouth so the mask stays on properly, but it's also from me disapproving all the fear I see expressed around me by the students and staff.
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I talk about how I've been feeling unmotivated and blah this week. I don't know if it's because of the job settling in, the weather or because I signed my divorce papers.
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I talk about what happened the night I signed the divorce papers -- I thought I was fine and ok, but I really wasn't. I kind of freaked out and thought Henry was missing his driver's ed appointment and wound up running around like a chicken with my head cut off. And all for nothing! The appointment was scheduled for the next day.... That's when I realized I was more upset about signing the papers than I was letting myself know.
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I talk about how I'm trying to put all the pieces in place so I can buy a house and get out of this apartment. Now my upstairs neighbors are working the same hours outside of the house that I am, so any sliver of quiet time has disappeared. I am so sick of living in this loud and small space, but given all the parts that need to come together, I don't know when I'll find a resolution.
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I talk about finally getting and signing my divorce papers. It's been a long road, but the moment has come.
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I talk about how I started listening to this talented intuitive named Robert Ohotto. He is providing massive value to the public and is so exciting to listen to! I heard of him through Caroline Myss (and she DOES pronounce her last name "Mace"). He has a web TV show called Your Intuitive Edge and each episode is chock-full of nuggets of wisdom. I think this information he's providing for FREE is worth about $500 just in the first episode alone! Listen on to find out why I was so excited to learn what he was teaching.
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I talk about how I am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got a letter this week saying that I finally got my settlement. I managed to apply for the position I'm currently filling, even though it took 6 tries! to submit the application before it took! I contacted a Realtor and I got some information on how my settlement could be liquidated ... or not - my choice. I talked to my insurance people and switched some things around. So things are looking up.
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I talk about how I finally went ahead and cancelled my KBB Accelerator Club coaching program. They had me schedule a phone call before they would cancel, which I found interesting. They were interested to know if it was something they had done or my own stuff. Then they offered a very interesting offer to transfer the money I'd spent into a different program. They are definitely savvy! I also discuss the fact that I am going to be interviewed on 9/27/20 by my friend and fellow intuitive coach Esme Gregg.
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I talk about my recent walk with Franny and one of the interesting things we talked about. Franny and I usually go for a walk every day. We love exploring different parts of the city. On this particular walk we went by a house I've been contemplating buying and then went to the neighborhood that I really love. Along the way, I started discussing how people's beliefs get instilled in them and how I was regretful that both he and Henry had to deal with unenlightened me during their most formative years. Interestingly, Franny said that he hardly picked up any of my beliefs when he was younger. That's when I realized that having autism may be a protective device to keep one's focus inward during the most environment-absorbing years of one's life. I was excited to think that this may be the ultimate survival mechanism for humans, because Franny didn't accept and allow in any of my self-limiting beliefs I was dishing out. I see this revelation as another way that having autism may be a blessing.
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I talk about how a close friend of my son was murdered last Saturday night in a road rage incident and how senseless it is. I go through the different ways Henry seems to be coping with this loss and how I can try and support him during this time.
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I talk about a variety of topics, including: the wildfires out west; using the Love Perspective to try and process anger out of my body and get neutral about situations that have negatively impacted me or my family; and Anthony William and his information about healing the Epstein-Barr virus.
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I talk about how the job is going three weeks in and my first full week. I talk about how some things are settling down and how it's going so far.
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I talk about how I suddenly need to wear a mask most of the day and how that is impacting my thinking and my body. I know I have things easy compared to front line and health care workers, but I am not in those jobs. I worry about the impact masks are having on the younger generation who is already relatively socially isolated because of social media. The masks are adding another barrier to interaction and I fear for the youth of today and their ability to create meaningful relationships in their lives.
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I talk about how I'm seriously considering cancelling my KBB Accelerator Club coaching now that I'm working full-time. I don't have time to listen to the replays and all the calls take place at 1pm my time while I am at work. The coaches and Dean can post things while they are at work, because this is their job. By the time I get home I am tired and lately I haven't heard them saying anything really new anyone. I think I'm done with the whole thing. Maybe I'll wait it out until the KBB World Summit is over. Maybe not....
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I talk about how I fared during the second week at work. The learning curve is steep and I've started during an "easy" period. I'm happy I'm starting now vs. when things are hectic. I am starting to feel slightly more comfortable at this job. Everyone seems nice and I like the office itself. I applied to work here full-time, so we'll see how that turns out.
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I talk about how as soon as I've returned to the "real" world, I've reverted back into some behaviors that no longer serve me -- like complaining, eating too much, feeling like my life is over, being ungrateful, etc. I don't like it and plan to do better.
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I talk about how I've been doing a lot of complaining lately about a pretty amazing development and how I would prefer to be grateful instead. If the universe put a job in my lap, then that's what I'm meant to do for now. Stop worrying about it.
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I talk about how working full-time is pretty overwhelming and how I'm having a tough time adjusting to the early mornings and full days of information overload.
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I talk about what ignorance means according to Meggan Waterson's analysis of the passage re: ignorance in the Gospel of Mary Magdalene. I discuss how it doesn't use the standard meaning of ignorance (or at least how I think of ignorance). Then I talk about how hard it is when you don't even know what you don't know. I believe I have discussed this before, but how DO you ask a question about something that you don't even know exists?
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I talk about some strange behaviors coming from my son Henry. He's been lying to me for at least a month about buying me a birthday present and the lies got bigger and more outlandish and I had no idea he was caught in this web of stupidity until I finally got access to the bank accounts online. Once I could see what he'd REALLY spent his money on, the whole charade blew up in his face.
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I talk about how I am stumped about spending gobs of money energetically every day. Luckily my friend suggested I start giving the money away and now it's easy to spend. Why didn't I think of that sooner?
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I talk about my first day of work and my nerves surrounding waking up, showing up and absorbing all the information.
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I talk about how Caroline Myss, like Ken Wilber, also has a 7-layer levels/structures hierarchy that she uses to describe peoples consciousness and spiritual evolution. Her levels are similar, but different. So many behaviors that I currently exhibit are included in her first level that it shook me a little bit and made me realize that I have some more evolving to do.
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I talk about Anthony William, the Medical Medium, and his book on thyroid healing, which I didn't think would pertain to me, but realize it does. In fact, it pertains to nearly EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the world! The main culprit behind a ton of illnesses isn't inflammation, but the Epstein-Barr virus (EBV). My mind is exploding with this information.
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I talk about how I finally launched my mastermind class in the middle of all this other stuff. I think I forgot to tell you guys about it, because I made a couple of FB Live videos that talked about it, but forgot to do a more timely podcast. At first I was super excited that I FINALLY launched a class, but it's not fleshed out at all and I really should offer it for free this first time around, so I can get feedback and test it out. Nevertheless, it took a great deal of effort to finally give birth to it and it IS out there on the Mastermind Marketplace. Yay, me!
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I talk about how I can't get any straight answers about getting health insurance right now because I'm not divorced yet, am about to start a job, my soon-to-be ex is now out of work, etc., etc. I am frustrated that this whole business is so difficult to navigate and so frigging expensive and you get next to no benefits for spending more money than my monthly rent!
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I talk about how my Mom and stepdad just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary and how strange it is that they've been married so long. I talk about how I've watched their relationship grow, change and weather the storms and sail through the good times. I reflect on how at times I've tried to emulate their relationship. It's been interesting watching them grow old together.
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I talk about how a job was offered to me out of the blue. My old neighbor messaged me and told me she thought I'd be perfect for a job she was trying to staff. I applied and got it! Now I'm nervous about whether I should take it or not. I'm going to try it and keep an open mind about it and hope for the best.
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I talk about how I am agitated and irritated again. I believe it's the darkness before dawn, at least that's what I'm telling myself. Everything is in flux and I can't get any answers.
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I talk about how my phone is really a camera and that basically no one calls me on it. I talk about how sometimes I feel lonely and sometimes I feel relieved that I don't have to answer to anybody but myself.
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I talk about my tuning fork therapy and what I've noticed it's doing, how I feel, improvements I see, etc. Overall, I think this therapy is easy and effective. I love it and I highly recommend the Sonic Slider to anyone and everyone. #sonicslider #biofieldtuning #EileenMcKusick #tuningforktherapy
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I talk about how I'm full of nervous energy running around without doing much of anything. I can't sit still and I'm stuck just waiting and waiting for SOMETHING to happen.
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I talk about how having a safety net of cash is allowing me to dream a little. I have been talking to the kids about what we want our future to look like. It's exciting having a little freedom. It's about time!
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I talk about how I now have three subscribers since uploading my podcast to iTunes. I don't know who you are or where you live, but you have listened to ALL my episodes and I am so grateful for that! I'd love to hear from you sometime. Feel free to reach out on FB - Cat Bresser. Thanks again!
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I talk about how irritated I am that Bill went about things as he did during the divorce. Then I try and let it all go.
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I talk about what happened during mediation. Hint: things went well.
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I talk about some good things that happened recently, including Henry trashpicking a gorgeous 55" 4K TV from across the street. It used to be "Smart", but now it's dumb ... other than that, it is a perfect TV.
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I talk about how I'm anxious going into mediation the next day. My nerves have been wound up tight as a drum and I have no idea what to expect from the process or Bill.
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I talk about the 2-day KBBAC Marketing Summit and how terrific it was. I discuss some of what I learned and get excited about what's to come.
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I talk about how I feel like I'm living inside of a pressure cooker. Everything is colliding to bring me to the boiling point -- divorce, launching the business, bad news, school, finances, etc. I am having some difficulty keeping it all in and am feeling overwhelmed and on the edge of tears round the clock right now.
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I talk about how I've finally come up with a description of who I am, who I serve and what I do. Clarity coach seems much easier to understand than life coach, intuitive life coach or lightworker, which were all descriptions I've used in the past. I help people get clear on who they are, where they are going and how to get there. That feels good to say and I believe in it. I think when people hear this, they will understand what I do and how I can help them.
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I talk about working with cut flowers at my Mom's and how the flowers in the main part of the house and their private bathroom all died within hours to 2 days of being put into vases, while flowers from the same bouquets that I put into my bathroom lasted and looked fresh all week. I talk a little bit about how flowers clear out negative energy and how I was happy to have proof that I maintained a higher vibration the entire time I was in Michigan.
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I talk about being in multiple groups of people who cannot hear what I'm saying because it doesn't line up with their own beliefs. I found the phenomenon interesting to observe and frustrating to be a part of simultaneously.
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I talk about how I've been feeling out of alignment, nervous, fidgety. I can't figure out why exactly, but I have all this energy running through me that I can't dissipate easily. I've been on edge for a few days now. I am walking it out, cutting cords, clearing other people's energy out of me, but the anxiousness is persisting.
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I talk about coming home from Michigan earlier in the day and being full of nervous energy. I spoke with my son Henry earlier in the evening and he was having a rough time of things on his vacation with his Dad. I got so amped up from that and had no idea how to help him. I realize that I cannot make everything perfect for my kids, but it's still frustrating for me to watch them struggle through various life lessons.
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I talk about why I haven't launched yet and what I plan to do about it. Imposter syndrome and fear are major factors in my decision to wait (and wait and wait), but wanting to be divorced is another contributing factor. I just need to move past all my excuses and get going.
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I talk about a bunch of bad storms that rolled through Detroit and how the water levels are so high. I discuss the water levels and their impact on my parent's yacht club and also what they discovered when the club recently tore their old clubhouse down (they are currently building a new one.) I also talk about how I am actively practicing the art of allowing while surrounded by all the far right wing people I know in Michigan.
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I talk about trying to get into peak state while in Michigan and I muse about where my audience is for my podcast. I am not sure if my podcast needs some tweeking, but am open to suggestions.
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I talk about how different Detroit looks compared to Grosse Pointe -- the amount of dirt and litter in particular. I also discuss the cleanliness of my brother's apartment and the effects of the Sonic Slider tuning fork on my hangovers.
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I talk about a bunch of different things like how much I miss being on Eastern Daylight Time; how much I enjoy the mostly smooth sidewalks and streets in Grosse Pointe; what my friend is sharing about being in Death Valley; revisiting the dinner episode with my brother; and talking about how the food at my mom's does not get thrown out in a timely manner.
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I talk about how I went to dinner with my brother and he was drinking too much, our waiter was operating at a most leisurely pace and my brother did something that I thought was disgusting and how that confluence of events made me completely lose my composure and temper. On top of all that, my brother immediately denied doing the disgusting thing I heard him do. I reflect on why I get so angry when people gaslight me.
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I talk about how I have mediation the next day and how I am nervous and not sure what to expect.
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I talk about UPW some more. I got sidetracked in the previous podcast talking about Untamed. I delve into more of what I learned and experienced during the seminar. There were some amazing moments in the conference.
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I talk about the epic 4-day, nearly 55 hour Zoom call seminar that I just finished. Tony Robbins was on fire! The event was intense, amazing and exhausting. At the same time, I've been reading Untamed and each page is so good. Glennon and Tony have given me so much to think about.
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I talk about Glennon Doyle's wonderful and beautifully written book Untamed. I find her book really inspiring and nearly every page has something thought-provoking on it. She actually writes about the same ideas as Abraham, just expressed differently. I suppose most people in the energy field/self-help arena are all saying different versions of the same thing over and over, but I enjoy reinforcing all the ideas I'm learning by reading the same thing repeated in a multitude of ways.
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I talk about how my tuning fork therapy is going. It is a little awkward and uncomfortable to start, but I am moving a lot of energy as I move the fork around.
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I talk about how terrible it is to lose someone who had such a positive impact on my life and who I really loved.
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I talk about my energetic checking account, which is a fun game that Esther Hicks/Abraham describes in Ask and It Is Given. Everyday I deposit money into this bank account and write checks for things I want for me and the kids. It's really fun and the kids and I are having a great time figuring out what we're going to "buy" each day. It makes me happy to do it and the universe doesn't know what is "real" and what is imaginary, so I'm spending real money as far as my vibration goes. I highly recommend trying this practice for a while. I can't wait to see what happens as time goes on!
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I talk about tuning fork therapy, what it is and how I think that this modality is probably the one I'm going to get trained in. I find this idea riveting and powerful ad can't wait to get started with my Sonic Slider tuning fork.
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I talk about how I realized I have really levelled up to season two in my podcast. Since my podcast is based on my life and this newer version started at the end of May (basically the day after my 18th wedding anniversary), I decided May 27th would be the start date for Season 2. I'm proud of the fact that I've made it a whole year in this new paradigm and am doing better than expected.
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I talk about resistance and how it shows up in a couple of ways. One of the things I realized a week or two ago was that I inherited a lot of resistance through the female lines of my ancestors. Women used to have to put up with whatever the men threw at them and take it. That exasperation, mistreatment, resentment and anger has come down through my DNA and as I peel back the energy layers, this showed up. I can't remember all the insights that came with that realization, which shows me that I cleared a bunch of emotions around this topic.
I also look at the resistance I am experiencing right now regarding being a coach and helping beginners. I'm still not dialed in to HOW I want to serve others. At this point, I'm realizing that may be more important than WHO I want to serve.
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I talk about the Trauma Superconference that just ended the on July 6th that was really impactful and excellent I learned a lot from a whole bunch of different perspectives on what trauma is, how it manifests itself in the body and different ways we can heal it. I especially loved learning about Biotuning from Eileen McKusick and think that this is going to be something I will take the time and effort to learn more about and get trained in.
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I talk about guardian angels and what they do and do not do in our lives. This is my personal take on them, but they are not anthropomorphic beings watching us from above. They are pure energy who notice our energy. When it's low, they try and help us raise our vibration and when it's high, they celebrate with us.
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I talk about how I was able to connect with my cousin and her husband and how much that meant to me.
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I talk about the weather once again and how pleasant things are since the heat wave broke with the storm. I also discuss the wacky events, emotions and upheaval happening in myself and the world because of all the heavenly retrogrades, eclipses and the full moon.
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I talk about how I'm terrible to drive with when you are an adult and how even more terrible I am to drive with as a beginner. I know I shouldn't reinforce how uncomfortable I am in the car when Henry is driving. I keep praying about it, blessing the car, blessing the other cars around us, blessing Henry, etc., but I'm awful to have as a passenger in a car. I've explained all this to Henry and I've apologized, but none of this helps him learn how to be a better driver. This is an instance in which I am grateful to Bill for having a far better attitude in the car than I do. I'm glad Henry is enjoying driving with one parent at least!
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I heard a turquoise-level (Ken Wilbur's actualized levels, Integrated level) interviewed on NPR yesterday and I wondered if anyone could actually hear and understand what he was saying about how everything is interconnected as to how COVID-19 got started and such a foothold in the world. Environmental decline, decimated natural habitat, overpopulation, etc. all worked together to create this pandemic. I'm so happy to hear an integrated person being interviewed, but with all the lower level people out there who can't understand those in the higher levels, I wonder if his message reached very many people. Here's to more interviews with integrated and super-integrated people! 10% of the population is all that's needed to become a turquoise and start changing how the world acts and responds to crises and issues troubling us today. We can't change anything by just looking at the symptoms. An integrated, holistic approach is the key to making lasting and effective change.
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I talk about how I've held on to my kids' old art projects forever and how I'm finally taking pictures of them and letting them go. Some of the projects are really sweet, but this is mostly stuff I should have let go long ago.
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I wonder about where exactly my PTSD originated. I talk about various things that happened to me when I was young that probably contributed to the problem.
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I wonder about how I can help my friends feel better if I can't listen to their problems and heal them at the same time, like Abraham discusses? Then I realize that I am not in the business of healing my friends, nor do I actually want friends who talk about their problems all the time, so it's really a moot point.
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I talk about Abraham's thoughts on being a healer and how many healers leave the vortex/high vibration center and come into "illness" to engage with their client. Abraham says healers can't heal outside the vortex and need to look past the client's illness to their "wellness" in order to be effective.
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I talk about how I've been feeling more in my body lately -- stepping into my power more -- and how it feels so much better than walking around numb.
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I talk about the things I saved from when my Dad died and how most of them have been out of reach for me for nearly 6 years. I look at the different reasons and ways I should emotionally release myself from these items.
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I talk about how the universe has been conspiring me to look at all the objects, beliefs, traditions, habits, etc. that I need to release. I explore some of the areas in which I've been holding on the tightest and really need to let go.
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I talk about how nice it feels to be working in the shop again and discuss some of the ways that this Mercury retrograde seems to be affecting me.
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I talk about how Caroline Myss referred to this quotation in her book Defy Gravity and how it can be a very powerful way to stay in the present moment and really notice everything and give thanks and appreciation for it, because this exact arrangement of movements, thoughts, objects, etc. will never come again -- even when you are participating in a routine task. Nothing is ever exactly the same the next time you do it.
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I talk about how this is the season of limited breath/ing and how it's impacting people's and the economy's health and life force.
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I talk about how I sometimes need to change my state and am so grateful that I can do that when I need to. Today my higher self told me that if I don't like what my mind is thinking or how I'm feeling - change my state. So I did.
I also discuss what I'm learning about how I problem solve by doing puzzle after puzzle.
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I talk about the 5 questions that I began discussing in the last podcast re: my ideal client and what their current challenges in life are, what have they tried to do that didn't work to solve the problem(s), what do they fear, what do they hope to feel like when they solve their problem and what do they want? I take on these questions and try to work through them.
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I talk about last week's KBB Accelerator Club homework, which consisted of 5 thoughtful questions that would help my dream client identify what they want, what isn't working for them/what have they tried already in their pursuit to get what they want and 3 other questions. I asked the first question - what are the top 3 challenges you're currently facing? on my personal FB page. I said I was looking to hear from perimenopausal and menopausal women, divorced or soon-to-be-divorced, and/or an empty nester or soon-to-be. I received 6 responses and they didn't jibe at all with what I was hoping to hear. I dissect why the answers were so different and talk about how my values seem to be different from most of the people I know.
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I talk about how living in my apartment underneath my loud neighbors is getting on my last nerve. Then I discuss my latest meditation which told me once again that everything is going to be ok.
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I talk about meditation in general today and the best way to start it and why you want to begin a practice, even if it's only to quiet your mind for 2-3 minutes a day.
Then I discuss my meditation today in which I simply laid down on the beach (in my meditation) and grounded for about 20-30 minutes. While I was lying there thinking that this was a lame meditation, negative emotions and feelings started coming up and my Higher Self directed me to notice them and then let them flow out of my body and into the earth, so they could be changed into positive energy. After moving some easier negative emotions, I finally reached the elephant in the room -- apathy and laziness. These two emotions didn't want to move and were lodged in my chest like a giant block. My Higher Self told me to release all judgment on these emotions, because they were a result of trauma to my physical and energetic bodies. Once she said that, the tears started flowing, the block broke up and the emotions drained into the earth. It was a profound and very healing meditation.
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I talk about a recent transformative meditation I had, in which I went back in time to when I first had the thought that my body had failed me. I explore how I felt about my body when I was about 8-10 year-old and how I never even thought my body was limited in any way. Then I trace the first few thoughts that showed up and let me know I couldn't rely on myself, my body or my judgment. In the meditation, I forgave myself and I describe how powerful that experience was.
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I talk about how I am still waiting for the divorce to get finalized before I feel like my life can take off. I am frustrated with how long this process has been taking and how in limbo I am. I look forward to my court date in July and hope that the divorce can be settled then and there.
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I talk about more information I'm learning in my Actualize OS course by Ken Wilbur. I do my best to discuss Ken's description of Shadow Work and what happens when you move through the levels imperfectly and leave pieces of your energy in the earlier structures/levels/rungs. I liken this energetic leaking to all the physical objects I have out in the world right now waiting for me to either let them go for good or reintegrate them into my life (Dad's things at my mom's and my cousins, things at the old house, things in the basement, etc.) I look forward to bringing everything together and finally being able to make an informed decision about all the objects in my life.
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I talk about the horror of the George Floyd murder and all the civil unrest, demonstrating and protesting that is going on in Milwaukee and around the country.
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I talk about how challenging remote learning has been and how the end of the school year has a real slog. Both kids experienced have a lack of motivation that was really difficult to work around and navigate through. I'm grateful for the teachers who kept reaching out and trying to engage them. I'm happy the kids handed in final projects that reflected their talents and abilities. And I'm thrilled school is over.
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I talk about how I have been listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer on the Hay House Audio App and how much I am learning from him. I revisited his Excuses Be Gone! book and was delighted to discover that he doesn't read from the book, but rather, Hay House used and Excuses Be Gone! weekend workshop as the audio. It is far more comprehensive, informative and entertaining than I had planned on hearing. I've learned a lot about the act of contemplating and more about excuses, how they show up in our minds, bodies and actions and how to eradicate them. It's really important stuff.
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I talk about Ken Wilbur's Actualize OS course that I'm taking and I try to piece together what I've learned up until this point. Right now I'm learning about Ken's definition of "Shadow Work" and how someone can develop either allergies or addictions in response to moving up a level, but leaving some portion of the previous level unfinished/unresolved. I found this discovery most illuminating and helpful for understanding some things about myself and things about other people I know. I also briefly mention his "3-2-1" exercise that he uses to reclaim these missing pieces of our development and resolve the attendant issues that accompany them.
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I talk about the difference between masculine and feminine energies and how they might show up in a woman. I discuss how I have spent the better part of the last year increasing my feminine energy in my body and how that has affected me. I also discuss how feminine energy is maligned and looked down upon as the inferior way of being in our phallocentric world.
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I talk about having this podcast and how nobody really listens to it. I talk about whether or not it's really worth it to me to keep creating this podcast and decide that it is. Basically, this podcast is recording in real time the advances I am making during one of the most challenging times in my life. I am grateful for this record. Previously, I have recorded my evolution in journals and on calendars, but here you can actually hear the energy and tone of my voice change as I become happier and more aligned with my purpose and the vibration of love.
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I talk about my Knowledge Business Blueprint Accelerator Club (KBBAC) training in which I volunteered to be the moderator of a small group. At first I was nervous and wondered why I spoke up, but as time went by, I realized that I was confident and capable of being fair, friendly and upbeat in this role. I felt good about myself and the job I did, which, in turn, allowed me to deliver my presentation effectively and with minimal nerves. After the call, I immediately did my KBBAC homework, which was to post another video to the FB page of me teaching my tool in under 5 minutes. I had to record it twice, but I was able to get my time down. I felt good about my work and posted very soon after the class ended.
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I talk about how thinking through what makes the most sense for ME in MY life is key. I can follow other coaches' and mentors' advice, but ultimately it's my decision how and what I implement. By adopting my mentors' visions I am potentially relinquishing my own, which could result in something really wonderful remaining uncreated in the world.
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I talk about my love of jigsaw puzzles and how they help me spend precious hours with Franny. I discuss buying many old puzzles yesterday and wondering where I will put them all. I also discuss helping out a friend and buying some of her DJ equipment and the wisdom of making that decision.
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I talk about the unseasonably warm weather and other things floating around in my head.
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I talk about how I'm in the process of finding my own spiritual voice. So far I have been parroting my mentor's style, words, methods, etc. and that is perfectly fine, but I've known I had my own voice and way of expressing myself inside of me and I've been trying to figure out what that sounds like. I decided I needed to do a deep dive into many people's methodologies and styles, so I could pick and choose what resonates and see what I have been doing all along that I didn't recognize as being divinely inspired. Things are coming along and I'm so happy I have taken the time to do this work.
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I talk about the pop-up summit I'm presenting in on Saturday, May 23rd. My topic is "Overcoming Resistance" and I'm nervous to give it. I have presented this topic before and now been in a summit, done and interview and had another group clearing call, but still it's early days in my speaking career and I have nerves. In this podcast I run through different ideas and angles I have for presenting this discussion.
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I talk about how my kids are having issues with their online schooling. I understand they are bored, frustrated and miss school and their friends right now. I really do understand ... to a point. I wish they would just sit down and complete the little bit of work they are responsible for everyday rather than letting it pile up and stress them out a few days down the road. Ah, youth and lack of follow-through!
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I talk about Dr. Wayne Dyer's 7 question paradigm shift he uses as the basis for one of his last books Excuses Begone! I mainly discuss the first few questions he asks (because I forgot the rest!). These questions have opened my eyes to how many excuses I use in my daily life, even in my upgraded state of improving myself nearly 24/7. I have excuses for everything -- too old, too poor, too this and too that.... These questions will help you reevaluate what you are saying to yourself, testing the truth of these statements and beliefs, and help you remove them from your mind. They are very simple yet powerful questions and I'm grateful I took the time to listen to the discussion. Hopefully, you will be inspired to buy his book or find out more information on these questions. Enjoy!
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I talk about how I've shifted from merely listing the things I'm grateful for at the end of each day to feeling the gratitude more deeply and completely inside my body. It's a different feeling and it leaves me feeling elated and even more grateful for all the blessings in my life.
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I talk about how I was invited to do three FB challenges last week and how it's too much. All these summits, challenges, FB lives, training sessions, etc. are overwhelming me and I had to take a time-out. Everyone's in on the action right now due to the pandemic and I'm tired of all the online stuff. I need to focus on my self-care.
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I talk about how I was really excited to hear and understand the information that Esther Hicks - Abraham discussed in their video "The Vortex". At one point, Abraham is answering a question from an audience member about whether it's advisable to go back to the earliest memories of trauma and remove them from the root. Abraham discussed how this was a terrible idea that would only serve to keep someone stuck and magnify that low vibration. Abraham said that if that low frequency was still active in one's life, it would show up in more recent experiences, because everything IS vibration. The energetic pattern is the same whether it's from our past or our present, so we only need to react differently and change the energy of a recent experience and it will change the pattern all the way back in time. Abraham then said that we are NOT containers holding all these different traumatic experiences and vibrations. We don't accumulate and save all these energies. Simply put, we are transmitters and receivers. Everything in our life is energy that only exists right NOW. There is no past and no future with energy. So our only recourse to change our vibration is to change it at THIS moment. If we feel badly or experience something crummy or negative, we need to choose a higher frequency feeling to change things. We don't have to zoom up the emotional frequency scale unless we want to -- just ascending a rung or two higher is enough to positively change our energy and start to eradicate the trauma and negative influences. Every change comes out of the present moment.
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I talk about how I spent the majority of the last 16 days listening and watching speakers and presentations in the Hay House summit. I watched a lot of Louise Hay and Esther & Jerry Hicks (Abraham). I learned a ton, but it was a LOT of information.
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I talk about my lovely and relaxing Mother's Day with my kids and how we spent time together without the pressure of school or life. It was a really nice day.
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I talk about how I still want to refine and redefine who I am trying to help. I really only want to help people who want to be helped, but I feel I have been discouraged by the business experts for saying that. I've tried to target more and more specific audiences, but I keep finding myself in groups where self-loathing, complaining and staying stuck run rampant. I am still trying to find the people who are motivated to get their butts in gear and get to the heart of the matter and are willing to do whatever it takes to live their best life. Those are the people I want to help.
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I talk about how I've taken a time out from all the business stuff and starting reading all the books I've ordered. I've been learning, synthesizing and cross-referencing a lot of information in a short period of time and it feels wonderful.
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I talk about a variety of smaller topics that I'd been thinking about discussing last week. I briefly touch on 6 or 7 different issues that came up for me, including: the effects of isolation, taking care of myself, the best way to manifest, taking care of my kids' friend after he had a scary episode, bending spoons and a couple of other things.
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I talk about some of the interesting and out-of-this-world information I'm learning from all the books I just bought and all the podcasts and webinars I've been watching. I am having a ball researching and absorbing all this strange and amazing information. My meditations have gotten much more powerful in the last few weeks and I feel as if I'm really tuning in to my life's purpose.
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I talk some more about the virtual workshop on stepping into My Future Self that Rebecca Davison hosted on 42620. I discuss how I was able to interact and see my Higher Self much more clearly and how my vision for my future has changed.
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I talk about the leap of faith (and money) I took to join the newest coaching program that Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins are offering. This is a 12-month program that will kick me into gear and get me up and running. I'm elated and nervous about it, but know it's the right thing to do for me at this time.
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I talk about a workshop I took with Rebecca Davison about finding my future self and part of the assignments was to schedule an appointment in my online calendar to work on my dream(s). I discuss different ways I might use the time and what might be a valid use of my time.
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I talk about my grandma and her death and how someone's absence can be just as impactful in one's life as someone's presence.
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I talk about what I've been learning in week 3 of Ken Wilbur's Actualize OS class. This week he is discussing the 5 universal states of consciousness and how they are separated from the levels/structures and separate from the forms of intelligence. You can be fully awakened and yet still operate at an amber level (group identity), which I found fascinating. It explains why I have difficulty reasoning with devout members of the church who think my soul is in peril, because I don't go on Sundays.
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I talk about repeating the throat chakra tapping meditation for the third day in a row and what I discovered doing it this time. Each time I go through this exercise new and different emotions, memories and trigger episodes come up to be cleared and transmuted. It's cool to see and experience. Today's meditation wasn't as revelatory as the first two days, but it was still powerful. What an amazing tool this meditation is.
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I talk about how just about everything in my life is bothering me, irritating me, going wrong or something similar. I know I'm supposed to stay high vibe as much as possible, but sometimes I just need to vent and get out the garbage.
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I talk about repeating the throat chakra tapping meditation that Nick Ortner of the Tapping Solution did on a FB live and how it was just as powerful and deep the second time around, There is a LOT of stuff stuck in my throat that is finally ready to go! Thank you, Nick, for this helpful and healing tapping experience!
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I talk about a tapping/EFT meditation I did that Nick Ortner of The Tapping Solution put out in his group. It was a clearing for the throat chakra and when I did it, some really deep energies came up. I was startled and grateful for the intense clearing.
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This meditation is the same one I published a few days ago, but this time I added music to it to make a more soothing recording.
I talk about how I finally found a cloud service that isn't charging me a monthly fee -- IceDrive.net I bought 1TB of space that I now own in perpetuity and I've been uploading my videos off of my iPad and phone and getting them to safety. For three years, I've been worried about all these files I'm creating and saving. I've lost many electronic files in the last decade and I don't want that to happen again. For whatever reason, I've had a devil of a time trying to get these files off of my equipment and onto an external hard drive. So now, I'm finally uploading to the Ice Drive and as each file goes up into the cloud, I feel calmer and lighter. I can finally delete these files off of my phone and iPad and it's freeing up tons of space. I advise you all to do this too. Freeing up electronic space is as good as cleaning up your physical space.
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I talk about how my apartment has gotten a little messy in the last few weeks and how I took some time yesterday to clean up my workspace and do some organizing. I felt so much better! I also discuss how I energetically clean my electronic equipment and how that helps me too.
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I talk about trying to go to a nearly empty church on Easter and discovering that there isn't any service at all. I talk about how sad and surreal this holiday, but do my best to focus on the positive.
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I talk about what I'm learning in Week 2 of Ken Wilbur's Actualize OS class. This week I discuss levels -- what they are, what some of the individual ones look like and how they interact (or don't interact) with each other.
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I talk about taking Ken Wilbur's Actualize OS course and what I learned in the first week. I discuss executive function or looking at life from someone else's point of view.
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This guided meditation will help you connect to Source and Earth energies so you can feel more grounded, expanded and energized. When you listen to it, find a place with little or no distractions. Set aside about 15 minutes the first time you listen to this recording and have some water handy. You will be moving energy through your body, which may be a new feeling for you. If you fall asleep, start yawning, crying or have any other involuntary bodily response(s), know that this is completely natural and normal. Continue listening to this recording daily until those reactions stop. Thank you for signing up for this meditation today! I hope it helps you. If I can be of service to you, please contact me at cat@focusingonthelight.com or at my Facebook page Cat Bresser. Have a great day!
I talk about what my days are looking like during this strange and quiet time.
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I talk about how even though we are in the age of social isolation/quarantine and uncertainty, some good things still happen,
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I talk about the horrorshow that voting was last week and the long lines, the dangers of being brought in from the rain and the fear of getting Covid-19 because I felt I needed to express my right to vote.
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I talk about different things the kids and I could do this week to get out of the house and have a little fun. Life is so different and unpredictable, yet boring being stuck at home all day. I think we should visit a state park or do some kind of road trip. Shake things up a little bit.
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I talk about going to church on Sunday and sitting in meditation on the Host. This is a Holy Hour thing I'd never heard of or experienced. I think it's a Catholic thing and maybe it's tied to Easter or maybe adoring the host happens regularly on the schedule. In any event, I chose to fully dive in to the experience and it was illuminating and profound.
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I talk about last Wednesday when I couldn't get motivated to do much of anything and how I pulled myself out of that state of mind.
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I talk about how Rebecca Davison led me through a very powerful meditation on my clearing call last week and I describe what the meditation was about, what I saw, how I felt during the meditation and how I felt after.
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I talk about this abundance exercise that Rebecca Davison taught me. I did a FB live about it the other day, but now I'm on day 3 (out of 8) and I describe how I feel even more dialed in to my abundance and how my mindset is changing.
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I talk about how I'm managing my fear when it spikes out of control -- which is happening or threatening to happen a lot lately.
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I talk about how I posted something on my personal Facebook page that was on the spiritual side, I normally refrain from posting anything personal, but I'm changing my tune. I need to use my personal profile as an extension of my business profile and get comfortable being myself in front of my friends and family. I deleted over 200 "friends" in order to make my comfort level rise. I had been so worried about what people would think if I posted holistic or "Weird" stuff, I was shutting myself down completely and I don't want to give my power away anymore.
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I talk about how I feel very connected to earth and Source on the one hand and extremely disconnected on the other. I'm not sure what to make of this.
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I talk about a bunch of leftover topics I didn't address in my podcasts from last week. I didn't want to stay in the negative energy I felt when I returned home from my vacation, so I briefly talked about the items/issues I still hadn't gotten out of my system and let them go.
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I talk about how I'm rather obsessed about shelling on the beach and how it calms and relaxes me.
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I talk about how some members of my family live in victim energy and some of the ways that shows up. I suggest some ways to get out of that energy and change your thinking around.
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I talk about my week-long vacation in Florida and how everything was impacted by Covid-19 and what some of those changes looked like.
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I talk about how Covid-19 has made fluidity in planning a mandatory skill. Things are changing rapidly in our world -- every 12 hours situations change, mostly for the worst. In this quickly evolving situation, old stuck, selfish thinking has no place.
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I talk about how there's a great deal of inflexibility in my family and how it manifests as thoughts, words, actions and physical reality.
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I talk about the ups and downs of spending time with my family and how our world views aren't very compatible anymore.
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I talk about how I went to Florida and found I had very little time to myself.
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I talk about the recent studies and articles I've read concerning Covid-19 and how I'm not sure I should go on my Florida trip anymore.
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I talk about how I need to shit or get off the pot. I do a lot of waiting, hand wringing and vacillating about different things that I wish I was able to do effortlessly.
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I talk about how Henry was startled twice in two days by pedestrians coming out of nowhere into the street and nearly getting hit by him. Very scary for a new driver.
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I talk about FINALLY giving my first FB live and how I felt about it.
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I talk about losing things on a regular basis.
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I talk about spring and how it is so invigorating and exciting.
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I talk about my up and down progress towards becoming the best version of myself.
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I talk about this giant painting project I've been doing at work and how I've grown to like certain aspects of it.
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I talk about how Henry created three pieces of music for me as a Christmas present. I need help choosing one of them or a segment of one of them as the intro and outro for my podcast.
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I talk about all the hype around the coronavirus (Covid 19) and whether I should buy into it or not. I can't tell what's real and what isn't, but I think acting rationally is the best course.
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I talk about the first official gathering of my Empty Nest and Divorced Support Group that took place last week. I discuss how I think it went and what I hope to do with the group moving forward.
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I talk about how Franny and I went to see the Body Mind Spirit Expo in Milwaukee and what we liked and what we learned.
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I talk about how devastating last week's shooting at the Miller Brewery has rocked the city and neighborhood. I talk about how its sadness and horror have gotten into my energetic field and how that's affected me.
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I talk about feeling excited about my life right now. I talk about the entrepreneur group I went to last night and some of the tips I got from the guys who were there and also some excellent advice I got from another friend of mine. Today I see the way forward.
I talk about how an Intuition classmate of mine Nadia Wallin posted a live Facebook video the other day that made me feel really good. She shot a short video saying how much she missed all of us and how much we have helped her over the past year. I enjoyed the post so much and realized (again) that lifting my spirits is just the push of a couple of buttons away.
Later in the podcast I reflect on the condition of a local beach I enjoy visiting year-round and how it's nearly disappeared with the winter weather and the high water levels.
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I talk about how this discomfort is key to growth, whether it's spiritual, emotional, physical or business growth.
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I talk about the magic of asking questions ... again. I figure out that I never really asked a lot of questions in my life up to this point. I was always trying so hard to ANSWER them properly that I never understood how important they are or can be.
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I talk about the beautiful weather and how it is such a joy to get outside in the middle of winter.
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I talk about creating a Meet-Up group called "Empty Nest and Divorce Support Group", so I can meet other women in Milwaukee and see if I can help them. I didn't realize I had to pay to create a group, but I did. Then I scheduled my first event for the following Saturday. So far 4 people are coming to the meeting and 15 have signed up to join the group! I have now become an expert in this field!! Woohoo! I was so nervous creating the group, but now I am eager to see if I can help these people reframe their minds to become excited about this new phase in their lives.
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I talk about how energetic and cognitive dissonance show up in my life. I spend when I shouldn't and feeling guilty about it. I
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I talk again about the joys of living under a child who never sleeps and a mother who doesn't care.
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I talk about listening to one of Rebecca Davison's podcasts and feeling a jolt go through me as she described dissonance. I've been living through energetic dissonance for quite some time and it's a relief to put a name to the discomfort I've been experiencing.
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I talk about how I've been creating blog posts out of my older podcasts and getting ideas for new podcasts from Rebecca Davison, a wonderful intuitive life coach, who happens to be one of my mentors. She has a very inspirational and informative podcast and radio show called "Find Your Bliss" that I've been listening to on Apple podcasts. She is also the founder of the Intuitive Life Academy and offers all kinds of coaching that will really move out the stuck energy and bring in the new, helpful energy.
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I talk about Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbin's amazing business program the Knowledge Business Blueprint. I share what it's done for me over the past year and talk about how it can help someone figure out how to monetize their expertise, help you spread someone else's expertise as a knowledge broker or learn how to open your own business online. On Thursday, February 27th, they are launching the 2.0 version of the program, which is certain to be an entertaining and informative webinar. If anyone cares to learn about the KBB program or has any questions for me, please contact me. My link to join the webinar on 2/27 at 5pm PST is https://dgachieve.com/join?source=register&a=9903
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I talk about where I am in my business program (rather far behind) and how I'm trying to catch up and what I'm learning.
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I talk about my newest music list of empowering and energizing pro-women songs and how they actually make me feel really good even though they are kind of cheesy and overly commercial.
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I talk about buying a plane ticket to go see my cousin in Florida and how I always get so nervous pushing the "Buy" button.
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I talk about Henry's highs and lows this past week and how he's doing his best to cope with the transition days on Sundays when he leaves my house to go to his Dad's.
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I talk about seeing three bands in the last week and discuss some of the answers John 5 gave in an interview that really made sense to me.
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I talk about not being balanced or feeling even keel. I keep over-correcting and swinging from one extreme to the other and it's frustrating.
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I talk about how I tried on a bunch of clothes the other day and how none of them looked good on me In fact, they looked so bad that I temporarily lost my self-confidence. I was really bummed that the image in my head didn't match the image in the mirror. I'm actually quite proud that the image of who I am in my head has improved so much and was quite taken by surprise that the mismatch between my internal and external realities was so great and that all the working out and that all the strength I've developed still results in a whole bunch of fat still padding my body. I definitely need to clean up my diet.
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I talk about this painting project I'm doing at one of my part-time jobs and how I am feeling ignorant and criticized for not being trained well enough on how to do it. This questioning of my abilities has brought up some earlier feelings of inadequacy that I've experienced at a couple of other jobs and places in my life. I also discuss how I am learning as I go and speeding up my process in a very short time and how I don't want the past to control my future anymore.
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I talk about the power of asking many questions, because of the work I'm doing with Victoria Garlick. She asks some deep, probing questions about various aspects of setting up my business, offer, funnel, etc. They are questions I hadn't considered before and I marvel at how the right question can unlock a wealth of information. I'm learning so much about who I want to help and how and I love it. I talk about learning how to be better at asking questions, because that's the only way to make informed decisions.
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I talk about how I went to a charity card party and got to know and reconnect with people from my community.
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I talk about Franny and how well he performed in his school play. I also talk about how anything you create or manifest takes on a life of its own, for better or worse. Manifesting is as simple as having a thought and turning it into reality. Writing many thoughts down manifests as an essay, a poem or a book that others can read, love, hate, share, critique, etc. Once you have that thought, idea, concept, aha moment and you send it out into the world, you lose control over what happens to it or because of it. That's something to remember, especially when you are busy manifesting negative things via constant abusive self-talk and passing judgment on yourself and others.
In today's episode, however, I mostly talk about how proud I am of Franny and his ability to find his place in the world. He is a different person at school and it makes me happy that he has found his people and loves his life.
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I talk about the energy clearing I had with my friend Sam and how many blocks still keep coming up to remove and replace with higher frequency emotions and energies.
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I talk about how I didn't want to switch out my old tennis shoes, because I only have two other pairs of this shoe that I like and that fit well. I talk about my tendency to hoard, not want to use stuff I own, because I'm afraid I will run out of it and never be able to find/buy it again. I talk about my fear that the Universe won't provide for me and how silly that defeatist thinking is.
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I talk about my fears and hopes about becoming more visible and present on social media. I discuss some of what's held me back from talking about what I do and what is still holding me back from fully stepping into the light/my power.
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I talk about "normal" people and how I can't relate to them very much anymore.
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I talk about how I want to be more consistent in how I show up in the world. I want to be consistent in my habits that propel my life forward.
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I talk about the sudden loss of a friend of mine and how terrible it is that her life ended the way it did.
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I talk about how I made enough money last month to pay my rent. It's only the second time I've been able to do that. Baby steps....
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I talk about some of my disillusionment and irritation with my former coaches. I am very tired of being asked to buy the same or similar product over and over.
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I talk about Russell Brunson's recent podcast about being coached and what that REALLY means. I think what he discussed was very important to remember when I work with other people, whether I'm being coached or am the coach.
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I talk about how I wish I were a better storyteller. I talk about how important it is to be able to tell a decent tale if I am going to market myself effectively.
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I talk about how having the right tools to help myself or help my future clients is integral. I discuss my energetic tools and some of the KBB tools.
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I talk about how I'm doing my best to move through my fear and get myself to the next level.
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I talk about how I am trying to figure out what some of the boundaries are in my business and how to navigate them.
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I talk about how I keep putting walls up and getting in my own way and how I don't want to do that anymore.
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I talk about how I value self-education/self-improvement and how I've learned so much from the Knowledge Business Blueprint program. I also talk about mentors and who some of mine are these days.
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I talk about how I had my first customer and how it made me nervous and excited at the same time.
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I talk about the root chakra and how it helps me move towards what I want so I can help myself. I discuss my realization that I don't have to suffer in my apartment, I can easily MOVE to another location and thereby instantly boost my productivity. I can basically stop being the victim and take control over my decisions and choices.
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I talk about how I'm lacking motivation and momentum after listening to Tony Robbins speak about these things in the first lesson of the Knowledge Business Blueprint.
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I talk about how I am feeling overwhelmed from other people's ideas about how to live life. That I'm taking on other people's urgency as my own and getting myself upset and worked up, which I find very disturbing.
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I talk about being grateful and being in flow state.
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I talk about how I DO know what is happening or what I want, rather than always saying, "I don't know". I talk about what it means to say, "I don't know" and what it means for me to start affirming that "I DO know". I teach myself something in this episode.
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I talk about making friends and feeling lonely. Unfortunately, at 9:03 in the recording, I hit a different button and turned off the rest of the recording. Sadly, you don't get to hear me complain for the following 4-5 minutes of the original recording about what a sad sack I am. You miss out on my little pity party, which is excellent news for both of us.
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I talk about the importance of letting your mind wander and think about all the wonderful that could happen to you.
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I talk about setting my intentions for the new year.
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I talk about what I do as an intuitive life coach.
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I talk about really taking care of yourself and what that means.
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I talk about how strange and delightful the weather has been.
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I talk about how important taking a walk is for me.
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I talk about getting ready for Christmas. This was recorded before Christmas and I'm finally able to post it.
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I talk about how the pain/energetic blocks in my hips are finally gone and how I'm so grateful to be able to move with ease again.
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I talk about how I repeatedly feel rejected by my family because of Christmas Eve dinner.
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I talk about how I don't have to perform at the highest level all the time, sometimes just showing up is enough.
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I talk about trying to feel like I'm good enough, doing enough, competent enough even when I don't feel like it.
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I talk about how I overindulged this extended holiday weekend.
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I talk about how I keep making things more difficult for myself re: launching my funnel and coaching career than they need to be.
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I talk about how much I love putting up my tree every year and how I love all my decorations and ornaments.
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I talk about how I did a pretty good job this year staying sane during the post-Thanksgiving shopping frenzy.
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I talk about my first Thanksgiving in Milwaukee as a newly single woman.
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I talk about how my priorities are out of whack right now and how I need to set them straight again. I try and figure out what some of them are, as well.
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I talk about how I love my neighborhood and my things that I own.
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I talk about how I'm stuck again in a rambling, stream-of-consciousness manner, trying to pinpoint why exactly I am having trouble moving forward.
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I talk about how frustrated I was to lose 4 recorded episodes and how my week has stunk.
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I talk about whether or not I can feel comfortable knitting and engaging in an activity that doesn't make me "rich" or if I should spend all my free time doing everything it takes to become financially free. Where is the balance?
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I talk about my holiday plans, or lack thereof, and how I don't necessarily feel supported.
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I talk about more blocks I need to remove in order to move my life forward.
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I talk about how some people radiate "Yes" energy and openness and how others are "No" people and are more closed off.
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I talk about how I need to be more open to people, opportunities, expanded energy and life.
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I talk about hosting my first ever group coaching call and all the other fun things I've done this week.
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I talk about how I need to connect with others instead of isolating all the time.
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I talk about how crappy it is giving up my kids on weeks I don't have them. I then try and psych myself up for having a good week while the kids are at Bill's.
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I talk about the different ways of being honest and how I want to represent myself in the world.
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I talk about what a difficult week this has been for me and how I am getting myself back on track.
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I talk about some devastating news I heard from my hometown.
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I talk about how much I miss my kids when I don't have them and how I'm trying to get myself together.
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I talk about how doing something different can be refreshing and reenergizing and help me feel better.
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I talk about how difficult changing my status quo can be and how I am acknowledging my accomplishments.
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I talk about my progress (and lack thereof) as I near the end of the One Funnel Away Challenge.
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I'm experiencing a lot of fear right now and I talk about it.
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I talk about how building my funnel has been challenging and difficult. (Another rant,,,,)
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This is a rant about my current exercise program that I think is way too hard.
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I talk about the type of person I would like to teach/serve/help with my intuitive coaching.
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I talk a little bit about how I was parented and why I wanted to act differently with my kids.
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My origin story about how I’ve become happier, healthier and truer to myself. How I’m trying to be a better role model for my children and an intuitive life coach for other people trying to improve their lives.
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