The Ka-Chat: Recent Episodes
The Ka-Chat
Life is a highway. Come ride it all night long with John and Lucas as they take a look under the hood of Pixar's 5th best franchise.
Listen - These horrible little creatures have gotta sleep sometime, right? And if we can just figure out where... well, then we're in business. Join John and Lucas as they explore the idea of housing in the Carsverse!
Who doesn't love a buffet, ya know? A good old fashioned round up. Roughly 10 - 15 different Carsverse characters looked at in rapid succession. So that's what The Ka-Chat boys have brought for you today! Join us as we look into everything from mummies to monorails in this doozy of episode.
Oh, say can you hear? This podcast, that is. Well good! Cause we've released another episode of it, this time exploring... various America themed things, I guess? Yeah, that'll work.
Hey, have y'all heard about this Zelda guy? Why are there so many legends about him? And why is he apparently crying in his new game?
That's right folks, the inclusion of the ability to (sort of) build cars in the The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom has given us just enough of an excuse to talk about it for this week's episode! Which is good, because it's pretty much all either of us has been doing or thinking about for.... a while now.
The following description was written by ChatGPT based on the prompt "Write an episode description for an episode of The Ka-Chat about using ChatGPT for ideas" and is better than anything Lucas has ever written for this
In this episode of "The Ka-Chat", John and Lucas are feeling a bit stuck on ideas for their podcast, so they decide to turn to an unlikely source for inspiration - ChatGPT, the AI language model. They ask ChatGPT to provide them with some prompts and ideas for future episodes, and hilarity ensues as they riff on ChatGPT's suggestions.
From ridiculous fan theories to the most bizarre Cars movie merchandise, John and Lucas have a blast using ChatGPT's ideas as a jumping off point for their comedy gold. Along the way, they also discuss the pros and cons of using AI for creative inspiration, and whether or not ChatGPT could ever truly replace human creativity.
So join us for a hilarious and thought-provoking episode of "The Ka-Chat", where we explore the intersection of comedy, creativity, and artificial intelligence!
It finally happened. After 148 episodes, John and Lucas finally decided to talk about something they are at least a little bit knowledgable about. And all it took was The Pokémon Company releasing a Pokémon that is quite literally a living car engine for them to do it.
Listen, I don't know a lot about the subject of convergent evolution, but from my limited understanding, it states that we will eventually all become crabs.
So this episode is like that but Cars.
We've talked a lot about normal sized vehicles. We've explored the world of giant vehicles pretty extensively. We've even discussed tiny vehicles at length.
But today? It's time we finally break down the exciting world of slightly smaller Cars that are not forklifts. Try not to get too excited, y'all.
Listen, we've gotten pretty good at predicting these movies over the past several years. So why would we waste our time pitching Cars 5-7 when we can skip all the way to the most interesting entry of the series, Cars 8?
If only there was another long running series we could base this that has to do with cars and racing and above all else... F A M I L Y. That sure would be helpful for us, let us know if you think of one!
Hey.... maybe we should be writing some of this down?
This week, we do just that, enshrining some of The Ka-Chat's biggest theories and observations in a living document, while leaving room for many, many more to be added.
The Ka-Channon: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12m9vbUNNdQESXoUSscbuTAWPH-paFKpy4ZKU_jAqK3c/edit?usp=sharing
Babies. What are they? We just don't know.
And we know even less about the theoretical car versions of these tiny creatures that come from... somewhere? John won't tell me where he got Rory. It's starting to piss me off.
Anyway, this one is about car babies.
Alright, straight up? This one isn't about Cars. We just got through Cars on the Road, we've been waiting for this day for a year and a half, we deserve a reward, alright???
So with that in mind and inspired by the many "Best of 2022" lists coming out right now, John and Lucas decided to just go through some shows, movies, games, and more that they really dug this year.
Well folks... 3 months ago, we hit the highway, a couple of friends. There were new adventures round every bend. And whether racing fast, or getting towed... we were ever together.
Cars
on
the
Road
You'd think that an episode focused on basically Mad Max happening in the Carsverse would be one of our favorites, right? Well, we thought that too....
As a disclaimer - This is not an episode about the amazing Dreamworks film of the same name. That may come at some point, but it is not this episode.
There's some lore here, but our intrepid Cars-casters are scraping the bottom of the barrel to find it. Why did they do the episodes where Mater died and there were ghosts and dinosaurs and credible evidence of aliens first? It makes the rest seems a lot less... exciting, I guess?
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I spent a while trying to come up with a "Pagliacci the Clown" joke for the description, but being honest, I finished editing this one at 1:40 AM and just wanna go to sleep, so you're just gonna have to use your imagination for this one, guys.
This is the clown one. It's not very good.
(If you're curious: "But doctor, we ARE the only podcast brave enough to ask the question 'Hey what's up with Cars?'!" was as far as I got)
Alright, so the last few episodes have spoiled us a little bit. There are no dinosaurs in this one, no ghosts, no embodiments of the concept of death. BUT there is some wild body horror! And a fake alien abduction! And you KNOW Lucas and John make it weird and sexual, so that's sort of a Ka-Chat classic.
Hey, straight up? In this one? Mater dies. And like, he ends up being fine. But Mater does die in this one, and it's so important you know that. The Car Grim Reaper comes down and reaps his Car soul (Kia Soul?). Other stuff happens. I would go so far to say other pretty wild stuff involving Cars body horror. But the one important thing is definitely that Mater dies in this, the third episode of Cars on the Road entitled "Salt Fever".
Listen, y'all better hold onto your hats. Cause it's gonna get real spooky this week. Join the Ka-Chat boys as they dissect the second episode of Cars on the Road and it's many, many actual, canonical ghosts. (And one demon named Wraith Rod.) It's gets pretty wild, so be sure to buckle in!
Welcome.... to Carassic Park. We have spared no expense to bring you this episode exploring the premiere episode of Cars on the Road. Why are there dinosaurs? Why don't they look like Cars? What does this imply about all our theories of the Carsverse evolving from our own universe? And most importantly.... How does Lucas feel about his brand new, adult sized Lightning McQueen Crocs.
Hey, ya know how there are big mountains and plateaus and stuff shaped like cars and planes and trains and stuff all over the Carsverse? Well, Lucas finally convinced John that talking about that deserved an episode! Are these giant stone cars naturally occurring? Did someone carve them? Or, perhaps most concerningly, were these cars always made of stone?
I'm going to be 100 with y'all - We didn't have an idea for this episode. So, we decided to take ideas from a site that gives out ideas! For free! So join us for the first (and hopefully last) edition of Lightning (McQueen) Round, where a random word is thrust upon us and we have to figure out how it relates to Cars as quickly as possible.
Folks, we suddenly have no time left. We only have a month until Cars on the Road arrives??? We used to joke like we had all the time in the world. Oh, how we long those simpler days....
Anyway, there was a new trailer for the Cars show! Seems pretty wild. Listen to us as we describe exactly how wild and in what specific ways!
Y'all ever hear of this funky purple car? Well, we just did and we're clamoring for as much info as he can give us. Why can only some of the animals talk? Why will none of the adults help Putt-Putt with his various and deadly tasks? And of course, how can we connect him to the Carsverse?
Ka-Chow? More like Cha-Ching!
That was the only idea I had for this description. Uh... We talk about the stock market. Mostly because it reminded of us of stock cars. That's... That's really it, I guess.
Hey why do these Cars wear hats and glasses and stuff sometimes? And are their paint jobs clothes or skin? Or both? And why didn't they make more adult sized Lightning McQueen crocs? And what is the central ethos under which The Ka-Chat operates? Somehow, we do answer all these questions in this episode. I dunno how really, but... it's a pretty good one!
I really wanted to title this episode Scents and Sensibility, but the episode has nothing to do with Jane Austen or her novels, and the title had nothing to do with Cars. So altogether, a pretty bad title.
Anyway - This week, we've got a pretty gross episode for ya! Join us as we discuss what cars smell like, what smells they like and wouldn't like, and most importantly - How do they smell in the first place?
Listen, we didn't plan for this one to get a little wild. We never thought it could! But quite frankly, we spend most of the episode debating what could even be a rat in this world, and our top candidates are the concept of filth, a beyblade, and a human man. So. All pretty good jumping off points, and let me tell ya, we jump off of all of them.
Y'all seen the new Marvel joint? It's pretty good, but it (along with the other 5-10 multiverse centered movies that have come out recently) has thinking... What if there was a Cars Multiverse? And how can we work Mad Max into it, since it fits for the title pun so well? Are we looking at more of Crisis on Infinite Earths, or a Space Jam situation? All of those questions and more, answered in this episode!
(Spoilers for the new Dr Strange movie are present in this episode, we make it clear when they are about to start though, and they end at 17:41!)
Y'all. This movie is not very good. If you like it, more power to ya, but we don't care for it that much. That being in mind, we do a pretty bad job explaining what actually happens in the movie and kind of reference everything as if you also watched this bad spin-off of an okay kids movie. So I imagine you might be a bit lost for this one. You can always listen to our first episode on this movie (Episode 20) if you want more context, or you can just ride it out. It probably won't make much more sense anyway.
An episode posted on time, two weeks in a row? What is this, a podcast or something?
Anyway, this week, John and Lucas have had enough, and they're taking a stand. If gas prices are this high in our world, what must they be like in the Carsverse, and what horrible effects would that have on a society even more dependent on fuel than ours? Also, we make a bunch of jokes and whatnot about farts, but we get it all out of our system at the beginning of the episode out of respect for your time.
Ya know, Pixar has a lot on their plate. With all the animation they have to be doing for the upcoming Cars on the Road series, we thought it might be a good idea to take a weight off their shoulders and pitch some ideas for them. Nothing crazy - Just a crossover with Gilmore Girls, a out of control spell wreaking havoc on Mia and Tia, and a visit to a local prison. I mean, according to the concept art, they're literally traveling through time and meeting dinosaurs, so....
Listen. Lucas screwed up something on the backend and didn't realize that episodes weren't publishing for the past few weeks. So uh. It's been a minute, and Lucas is sorry about that. But we're coming back with what we think is a pretty dang good one. You ever pay much attention to all the little sponsors and brand names in the background of these movies? Well, it's about time we started to, cause man. There are some crazy companies, products, and stores in our favorite Carsverse.
(Also we spend 15-20 minutes talking about Cars 2 Monopoly, a board game Lucas's friend Natalie got him. You've got to sort of expect stuff like that by now, right?)
Could we have done an episode about both the summer and winter olympics all at once? Yeah, for sure, but listen man. We're in the 100's now. We gotta do every possible thing we can to stretch this thing out and reach Cars: On the Road. Ends up working out anyway, as we do spend 15 minutes talking about the bios of 2 pretty minor characters that have almost nothing to do with the Olympics.
Look... Pixar invented a country. They looked at the list of countries in the world and said: "These are great and we want them to be featured in the series of movies about talking Cars we're making. But what if there was one more?" And then they just made it happen.
I dunno man. it's not even a plot point? It's revealed in the supplementary bio of a Car who doesn't even have any lines from Cars 2? And I know these descriptions are supposed to be concise and not really take up too much space, but we didn't really talk about this in the episode. WHY did they make Rip Clutchgoneski from the Republic of New Rearendia? Why not an existing country? What did that add to the world/movie/story?
And even if we don't discount the addition to the world, if they wanted that bit of world building, why hide it in a bio that only a few people read? I guess the colors of the car don't line up to existing countries like the others do, so it's not completely hidden. And it's not like it's the only time they've had an entire character's story be contained in their bio. I dunno. Just seems weird.
Anyway, hope you enjoy the episode!
Welcome to the family Madrigal! Or, at least, welcome to two guys talking about the family Madrigal. And Cars, and how it the two relate to one another. You may think: "This one seems like a stretch. Are you guys just doing this episode because you like Encanto and also to catch the latest pop culture wave?" And well... You'd be right! But you should listen anyway, because I think we do a pretty good job breaking it down.
Listen folks. We really don't care for this one. We know it's children's movie about talking Planes, but it just has a horrible message, annoying characters, bad writing, and it makes no sense. We definitely do some theorizing and whatnot, but I'll be honest with ya, this is mostly us complaining about this movie that I gotta assume most of you haven't seen. So. I hope you like that!
Alright, two things right off the bat you should know about this episode:
- It contains NO spoilers for Spider-Man: No Way Home
- It DOES contain some descriptions of real spiders, if you want to avoid that.
That being said, now that we think about it, how would a spider work in the Carsverse, let alone a Spider-Man? Could a car swing from building to building? How would they protect their secret identity? And are all the cars already symbiotes?
Oh you KNOW your boys love making new mini-series, so we done did it again.
This time we are finally making some choices. If anyone is qualified to make these choices, wouldn't it be us? So join us as we both come in with our chosen champions, debate them, and finally come to a consensus. Some choices may shock you. Some may anger you. But they will be made, either way.
Alright, we've had enough. What is the name of the kooky tow truck sidekick from these movies? Is it Mater or Tow Mater? It seems like even the wiki is confused, it's got two separate entries for the two names! Wait... Unless.... What if Mater and Tow Mater aren't even the same person? What if there are two separate entities named Mater and Tow Mater? And even worse... what if there are more?
Listen, the Cars on the Road news and Thanksgiving may have thrown us off a couple weeks, but nothing can stop us from doing our grim work. (Note: In this context, "Our grim work" refers to rewatching the movie Cars 3 in order to generate content for our Cars-centric Podcast)
How did like our journey back to the most serious entry in the Cars canon? Well, honestly folks, we were pretty harsh on it this time around. Maybe we just got through most of the wacky shenanigans the first time round, so this time we were free to give notes on characters, writing, and plot points? But don't you worry, fine listeners, we still have plenty of Cars based wacky shenanigans to get into.
Listen folks, we were going to stick to our schedule and rewatch Cars 3 this week, but hey, they don't put out concept art and release an official name for Cars on the Road every week, ya know?
Join us as we stare deeply into these pieces of concept art and they stare deeply right back at us, cause folks, it looks like we may be returning to Mater's Tall Tales levels of buck wild-ness.
So they dropped a trailer for Lightyear, right? But like.... how does it fit in with Toy Story? Is it a movie from within the Toy Story movies? Is it all taking place within a child's imagination? Or was there a real, human man who existed within the Toy Story Universe named Buzz Lightyear who went to space and they made a bunch of toys about?
Join us as we travel beyond infinity in search of answers!
Folks, it is spook season once again! And this year, we found a movie that is pretty much what it says on the tin. Like, you're not supposed to judge things by their covers, but honestly, you can pretty effectively do that this time.
It's a doozy folks. Vulgar, gross, gory, and very British, so if any of those things sound like they aren't up your alley, maybe just listen to us describe this one instead of checking it out on your own. It is a pretty fun one though!
Alternate titles for this episode include: "SUVNL", "SNLUV", and "SNL is coming for our jobs".
Anyway, SNL did a sketch entitled "Cars 4" last week. And folks, they got the man himself to participate. That's right, with the inclusion of Owen Wilson, it is officially close enough to canonical that we can do a whole episode of our podcast about it. How do we manage to do an entire podcast about a 5 minute comedy sketch? Well, we have to go some places with it, folks. We only hope you're willing to follow us to them.
(Also sorry this is a day late, Future Lucas literally just forgot to edit and post the episode. Pobody's Nerfect!)
Oh, a new Marvel show? People are into it? It has an easily replicable formula that can be applied to other franchises? Interesting....
Anyway, uh, we have a new mini series! In this one, we put on our speculating hats, and take a look at the Carsverse if things had gone differently. For the first episode, we look at a seemingly simple question: What if Lightning's tires hadn't blown in the first race in Cars? You wouldn't think that this would result in an early death for McQueen and the decimation of Radiator Springs, but let me tell ya: We think it does.
We did it folks. We managed to put off watching Cars 2 for a second time for 100 episodes! To celebrate we decided to... watch Cars 2? Aw dang. We really messed this whole thing up.
That's right folks, the Ka-Chat boys are at it again, this time going over this movie with a fine toothed comb. Did Mater almost kill Luigi once? Do we feel any differently about the portrayal of the Lemons? And do Sally and Flo have some sort of... wheel fetish?
In 2017, it was announced that there would a new entry into the Carsverse, a spin-off about Space that would be coming out in 2019. However, when Disneytoon Studios shut it's doors for good, that project was cancelled. But what could it have been?
We spend about half the episode talking about that. The other half is mostly about Star Wars. So.... Hope you enjoy that!
I tried for a while to come up with a title pun, but this felt more appropriate with the general vibe of the episode, ya know?
Anyway, for Labor Day, we decided to do an episode centered around the working class in the Carverse, the forklifts, or as they call them, the Pitties. It, uh.... really bums us out, mostly. But hopefully us getting bummed out might entertain you! Or you can just join us in being bummed. Up to you, really.
They're the bad guys. (Duh)
Is Billie Eilish still hot with the teens? I guess there's no way to know for sure. Anyway, this week we are looking into the two antagonists of Cars 3 and trying to figure out what makes them tick. Is Sterling really a Lightning McQueen fan, or was it all an act? What is like to be specifically engineered for racing like Jackson Storm? And wouldn't you prefer to be a gamer than a pro racer?
Man, that title pun took me a while. Can you tell?
Anyway, John's back, and you know what that means! That's right, we immediately spend the episode not talking about Cars. I dunno, we just both like superheroes a lot, ok? And we bring it around in the last 10-15 minutes and make our own Car-ified version of the Suicide Squad, so... yeah. There's the Cars-nection.
Lucas has had enough. He refuses to go another moment without exploring Cars Land, but he can't actually make it out to sunny Anaheim right now. So to help him do the next best thing, his good friend and former Disneyland cast member Emma has joined to tell him all about this magical place. And with a special appearance from her cat, Beanz, they work together to (virtually) peek around every corner and shake every tree in the Land!
Y'all, the Lizes have had it TOO GOOD for TOO LONG. They keep throwing question after question at John and Lucas, and quite frankly, Lucas has had enough of it. So this week, he's flipping the script and putting his girlfriend, Liz, in the hot seat to see how she likes it when the questions are being directed at her!
(Note: This entire description is a joke. Liz and Lizzie are both very kind and good to help us out with our dumb Cars podcast. If either of you are reading this, please don't be mad at me.)
Now, I know what you're thinking: "John doesn't sound like John this week." And that's because this week, he's not! Yes, that's right, while John is on paternity leave after the birth of his son, Lucas is gonna bring a whole cast of characters to fill his microphone slot and keep the Cars content coming in a special mini-series we're calling "Side Roads".
And first to the starting line is Rob Miller, friend of Lucas and TikTok whiz kid. And folks, if you were worried it was gonna get less weird while John was out, I've got good news for you, and it's this episode that Rob has been requesting since the inception of the podcast.
Hey, we did 100 of these! Wild. And I, the anonymous and impartial writer of these descriptions, declare that releasing 100 episodes of a podcast about Disney/Pixar's Cars movies is the biggest accomplishment of both John and Lucas's lives. Please do not fact check this by checking John's social media from the past week or by listening to the first minute and a half of this episode.
Anyway, we watched Cars for this one. We should... probably do that more often than we do.
Crack open those textbooks folks, because this week, we're giving another one of our famous history lectures. That's right, both of The Ka-Chat boys have come prepared with moments from our storied human history that they think would be oh so interesting in the Carsverse. Well, half of The Ka-Chat boys did, anyway. The other half mostly talks about Bones and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but I won't reveal that was.
(I will give a hint though, it wasn't the one of us that writes these descriptions....)
Hey, do you happen to have the time? Because I've got a feeling that it's hero time.
That's a Ben 10 reference. This episode is our Ben 10 and Generator Rex episode. Really, it's supposed to be our Ben 10 episode, but that was too hard so we cheated and used another show to do all the hard work.
But like, not the video game. The crime. But like, not the stealing of a car, more like a Car stealing something? Listen, Lucas had some trouble coming up with the title this week, so cut him some slack.
Anyway, this week we are coming at you with a look at the world of crime in the Carsverse! How hard would it be to commit murder? What would heisting be like? And what's up with the Easter Buggy, a Car-ified version of the Easter Bunny who appears in 1 book and has nothing to do with the topic of the week? Well, we talk about all these things, so tune in to get some answers!
Listen, the title may be dumb, but it made Lucas laugh, and that's all that matters.
Anyway, with John just weeks away from the birth of his first child, we figured we would use this opportunity to milk his new knowledge of the exciting world of pregnancy! Join us as, honestly, we get a bit too in depth into the details of pregnancy and childbirth, doing our best (but not that good of a job) at applying them to Cars.
Hey wait, it's been a year? ANOTHER ONE??? Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're making a weird podcast about some children's movies with your best friend!
Anyway, for this one, we decided to celebrate by having a game night for us and anyone who wants to play along with us. Join us for exciting trivia about the movies, our podcast, and every in between. Or, you can choose to sit back and relax to the calming noises of John and Lucas not knowing nearly as much as they should about their own podcast and it's subject.
You remember when we did an episode about Toy Story 90 episodes ago that had very little to do with Cars and we were like "Yeah, we're gonna do this sometimes! It's not always gonna be about Cars!" and then we never really kept to that except for the time Lucas talked about Netflix Christmas movies for a long time?
Well, good. Cause this one is about Soul. Also, a little bit about Cars, because at this point, it's second nature. Sorry.
FINALLY, we've got around to exploring this fan favorite! We know you've all been clamoring for, uh... let me check my notes... the guy who has a mattress on his head from Cars? Really? You have? Well, who am I to judge, John and Lucas made the episode so there must be something there. And what's there is an incredible journey where (due in large part to the lack of content they decided to base this episode on) things get a little weird. Could Leroy be unto Sisyphus, forever cursed to transport a hulking mass from one point to another, only to be foiled in the end? Or is just, ya know, a guy with a mattress?
This week, John and Lucas sweat the small stuff.
.......That's all I came up with for the episode description, I really thought more jokes would start flowing after that. Well, anyway, we're talking about microscopic beings this week! Are bacteria minuscule submarines? Are viruses and computer viruses one and the same in the Carsverse? And would masking even be effective on their giant, giant mouths?
Hey uh, we're doing another one of these! Like the Toy Car Story episode, but this time exploring Finding Nemo and it's sequel. Anyway, join us as we examine the implications of underwater society of sentient submarines and whatnot that are also fish, I guess. How do they breath down there? What's up with them eating each other? And what are the implications of the prominently featured dentists office from Finding Nemo?
Well, us two old fogeys decided to finally get with the times and check out TikTok. And boy, is there ever a wealth of content for us there. Cosplay, skits, mind-probing quesitons, and of course, the sexualization of fictional characters who are also, ya know, Cars. So join John and Lucas as they basically siphon content from others on an app they aren't too great at using.
*Note: If you'd like to watch any of these TikToks, all links and creators are together in a handy thread on our Twitter!
Oops, Lucas needed a bonus day to get this one done. Oh well! It's here now, and boy is it a doozy. We finally go into the two best tire salesmen this side of the Mississippi, their background, their jobs, and everything in between. Two notable moments: 1. Lucas and John spend a while comparing one of these characters to a USA network show that hasn't been on since 2013. 2. Lucas realizes that their show is basically just talking about Cars headcannons each week and has a bit of a personal crisis about that.
Order up! This episode was slated to be about the service industry in general, with the fast food and dining industries just being a portion of it, but we got caught up in them, as we are want to do. So! Go ahead and pull around to the second window for your helping of speculation on what they eat and why they eat it, how portions would work in a society with both forklifts and aircraft carriers, a small discussion on how drive throughs and delivery services would work, and a side of fries.*
*Note: The Ka-Chat does not guarantee fries from listening to this podcast.
You remember when we talked about WALL•E a bunch in our first few episodes, but before we had enough structure to make into an entry in a mini series? Well, now that we have that structure (and Lucas has actually watched the movie) we decided to revisit it, 80ish episodes later! Did the humans merge with their chairs and become the Carfolk we know and love? Did the robots take over and become even more capable of emotion, speech, and sick racing maneuvers? Or maybe, it was some sort of sick combo of the two....
My first thought was to theme the episode description around the Pokérap, but then I remembered that is 95% just Pokémon names with some singing in between, and that doesn't really translate into a, ya know, podcast episode description. Anyway, in honor of Pokémon's 25th anniversary, we decided to go ahead and do a full episode on the franchise that has been with us for a majority of our lives and how it could relate the franchise that we have forced ourselves to be obsessed with for the past couple of years.
So in the Carsverse, there are characters like Jay Limo and Boat Reynolds that are just car versions of real life people. So... what's up with that? Join us as we discuss the implications of these dopplegangers, including a large amount of evidence from a promotional Youtube video in which 2 children berate professional NASCAR drivers about the process of being physically transformed into Cars in order to make tiny toys of their Carsonas. Oh, also we do a tiny Or-Engine story on The Iron Giant? It's kinda a big episode.
Listen. This is an entire episode on parking. But like.... parking is important to cars! So what's up with that in Cars??? Somehow we manage to fill our time on that, and we do so by diving into their relationship with sleep, personal belongings, and property itself. We also do that by going on an extended Westworld analogy. So.... a pretty good episode, all told.
Grab your Floo Powder, folks. We're going on a quick trip to the Potterverse. This week, we're knocking out all things Harry Potter, what it's like as a story in the Carsverse, what magic would be like, and we even throw a mini Or-Engine in there, just as a treat! So get your fill of chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans from the trolley, cause this time, Lucas and John solemnly swear they are up to no good.
My God. It finally happened. After almost two years of doing this podcast (not to mention the almost two years before that of talking about doing this podcast) Pixar has deemed fit to give us fresh, new Cars content. Of course... What they gave us were two shorts whose combined runtime totals at less than four minutes and are completely without dialogue. So we're really gonna have to reach for this one. Oh well! Join us as we discuss two brand new Cars shorts, Unparalleled Parking and Dancing With The Cars!
Oops! We made another mini-series. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
We didn't even mean to this time, though! We set out to discuss the Car-ified versions of other Pixar movies that are shown in the end credits of Cars, and had so much to say about Toy Car Story that we decided to revisit the others in a later episode. And BOY is there a lot to say about the Toy Car Story series, even if we only see two,
Get the Delorian ready everybody, cause we taking another trip back in time! That's right - the award-winning* mini series Moments in Hearse-tory is back for it's third installment, and we are tackling some big ones today. How did spoken language come to be, and much more importantly, how did written language happen period? In the Great Emu War, what were the Emu's? And last but not least.... what's up with this official piece of concept art depicting the American Revolution???
Look out folks, we're coming at you from 2021! To celebrate the need to buy a new calendar, we decided to both go through how we feel the Cars would celebrate the New Year, as well as setting a few New Cars Revolutions ourselves. (Like resolutions. This pun was a bit of a stretch.) And you'd be surprised, by the end of the episode, we've already accomplished one of the goals we set for ourselves. So grab some bubbly and come enjoy us bringing in the New Year four days late.
You know, it seems like in this show, we're always looking towards the past. What happened in these old movies, what prequels can we make, even our sequel pitches are stuck in reverse. So this time, we're shifting into a new gear, and looking far into the future, and shaking it up even further by pitching a video game instead of a movie. (Please disregard the fact that we don't decide it's actually a video game until halfway through the episode.) Join us we go backwards to the forwards with... Cybertruck 2099!
Okay, right up front, this one isn't about Cars. Like, at all. Lucas just watched a bunch of different Christmas movies on Netflix with his girlfriend, and let me tell ya folks, they freaked him out pretty good. Turns out there's an entire interconnected universe full of time travel, curses, questionable Christmas magic, and 4 distinct Vanessa Hudgenses. So with the promise that we'll return to Radiator Springs next week, let's take a walk through this winter wonderland.
Oh man, folks. It's happening. That's right, the folks over at Disney and Pixar have looked down from their ivory tower and decided to show pity and mercy on us by giving us new content to base this podcast on. Now, they are making us wait 2 years to actually see the new Disney+ series about Lightning and Mater's cross country road trip, but hey, we can persevere. In the mean time, we gots to do some speculatin'. The title? The cast? Our role? How easy it is to add yourself to an IMDB page? All questions, asked and answered this time around.
Well, we did it. Something I thought we would never have to do, something that I would go so far to say we had previously made a choice to never do. We watched the finale to Supernatural. And I mean, it's a good thing that we did. The Impala ascends to heaven, and that, along with multiple instances of it being possessed, transformed, or chosen by God himself over this shows 15 year run, is a pretty good way to link this show to the Carsverse. We're happy about that. Just not too happy about the, ya know, watching Supernatural in 2020 part.
Happy Holidays, y'all! We are starting this socially responsible holiday season with a weird one - the Carsverse version of Thanksgiving! There's very little info on this one as it was a one off event in a Cars game that has been defunct since 2013, but that doesn't stop us from crafting our own narrative on how these folks celebrate. What DOES stop us is misremembering the plot to Hercules, being attacked by dogs, and just sort of talking about aquariums for a while, but... 'tis the season, I guess!
Oops, Lucas screwed up the uploading on time! But better late than never. And speaking of LATE.... the Cars die. We know this all too well. But then what happens? Not to their immortal souls, but to their acutely mortal bodies. That's what this one is about. Really, we just did this one to talk about a hearse who is in the background for about .75 seconds in Cars 3. But you get it, right? There's a hearse in the movies. Like, one for humans. But in the movie about sentient Cars. And like... ????????????????????????
We made it. We've finally taken a good step forward, but there are more steps yet to take. For instance, we have to look to the future of the presidency. And, of course, the natural successor to the Biden administration is Tow Mater. For some reason. Join as we discuss different legal issues he might face in his candidacy, his running mate selection (and cybernetic conversion) process, and also Destiel being canon, because the week didn't throw enough at us without that.
Listen, somehow we made to ANOTHER Halloween??? Absolutely bonkers, who would have guessed it? Anyway, for this year's spooktacular, we decided to consult with the King of Horror himself and dive into the murder-car infested worlds of both Christine and Maximum Overdrive. That's right, folks, this week, you're getting two for the price of one as we explore the works of Stephen King.
Hey, did you know that when you have a podcast, you can just do the numbering conventions however you want? Pretty cool, right? ANYWAY, we went as long as we could without doing an episode in honor of the funny number, and we decided that we couldn't just leave y'all hanging about it. And for such an auspicious number, we thought we'd go ahead and get into one of the biggest (and most frequently asked by John) questions we have:
What. Of. Their. Hands.
Oops, it looks like someone accidentally made the Batmobile and several other Bat-vehicles sentient and now they're making a preschool show about them called Batwheels. :/ And even though this show is at the earliest stage of production possible, with a single promo image and one press release available to go off of, them Ka-Chat boys find a way to make an episode about it. (Note: That way is by spending 20 minutes talking about Bat-vehicles they think would be funny if they were sentient.)
Hey, so uh.... Cars had it's own version of Club Penguin called World of Cars Online from 2010-2012? And this week, your favorite Cars-casters have put on their cool hats and busted out the bull whips to try and reconstruct as much as they can about this ancient society. Why are there zombie Cars? What are the implications of tens of thousands of Cars moving to Radiator Springs? And WHY can't my RACING NUMBER be 69????????
The Ka-Chat boys are taking you back to history class once again with another installment in Moments in Hearse-tory! This time, they're diving deep into the books for some new queries, like... did Joan of Arc blow up when she was burned at the stake? Did the Salem Witch Trials actual manage to locate some real Car witches? And how did the Donner Party... ya know... do Donner Party stuff to their metallic brethren?
Hollywood's darlings have returned with yet another hit on their hands. This time, they decide to cash in on the summer energy that has already left this year, and make a summer flick. Being the professionals they are, they do some heavy market research on the most on the nose film in this genre they know, Teen Beach Movie. Now I already hear you asking: "Guys, do you spend most of this episode making a Cars ripoff of this weird DCOM?" and don't you worry, because we also steal heavily from it's sequel, Teen Beach 2. (I know we never actually use this title for the movie in the episode but the options we mention are "Teen Cars Movie" and "Car-kini Babes" so I made an executive decision.)
Listen, we already did a superheroes episode. We know this. But the thing is... we really like superheroes and comics and stuff and it's our podcast so here is another episode about superheroes. ALSO, we did the "Rust-ice" title pun, like 4 episodes ago, but I wanted to be a good counterpart to the "A-Van-gers" title pun. Anyway, we're talking about superpowers/heroes in the Carsverse again! Also, Lucas gets really mad about Quibi for a while. And the Snyder Cut. And DC movies in general.
Alright, drop and give me 20! Miles, that is. Because this week, those wacky Ka-Chat boys are talking about how Cars keep healthy in the Carsverse! Do they pump iron to get swole? What exactly would a swole car look like? They are (probably) made of iron, so is that, I dunno, weird for them? These are not the exact questions we ask during the episode, but you KNOW they're the general vibe we were going for!
Ha ha, nice, looks like John and Lucas finally decided to do cool episode of their podcast. That's right everybody, this week it's all 420 and keggers as those Ka-Chat fellas discuss the world of recreational drugs in the Carsverse. And by "all 420 and keggers", I do mean stark discussions about addiction and alcoholism, realizing the latest craze in mobile bars would be grotesque monsters, and the thought that Mater might be drugging and gaslighting all his friends. Man, do these guys know how to party, or what??
Well, we didn't shrink the Cars. There are just, like, tiny vehicles that we want to talk about. Ya know, like, Hot Wheels, model cars and planes, toy planes, roombas, etc. It may not sound like a lot, but it turns out that Roombas are a biomechanical military experiments who are programmed to hate and destroy dirt. That's literally canon within the Carsverse, so imagine the nonsense we come up with on our end.
Over the year or so, we've been doing this podcast, we've said a few different times: "Oh, this is the one you should share with your friends" or "This is the most important episode we've done so far." But that title is now permanently taken. This week, we might just save some lives as we analyze the matchup between humans and Cars, both at a one-on-one level and an all out war. We won't sugarcoat it, it doesn't look great for us, but if you take these tips and do some preventative steps, we might just come out on top.
In the podcast The Ka-Chat, why do the two guys try to connect any movie they can to the Cars franchise? No reason. (Except that the reason is that it's the concept of the show we do and we just kinda like it and it's fun for us and kinda easy with this weeks movie, Rubber) That's right, this week we are taking a closer look at America's favorite killer tire in Rubber. Honestly, this one is tailor made to connect to the Carsverse, but maybe in a few ways you wouldn't expect. That tire and his ungodly powers are starting to remind me of someone....
Listen, long story short, yes, we made another series. We like them, ok? This one is all about reimagining specific moments of human history in the Carsverse. This week, we start off with some heavy hitters. Did the Wright Brothers invent.... people? What is the existential horror of being a living Titanic sinking into the icy Atlantic Ocean? How did the rise of moving pictures work in this universe? And just what did they use to behead the bourgeoisie during the French Revolution?
To all who enter this happy place, welcome! Here you leave today and enter the world of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles! Join your non-ghost hosts as they explore the hottest destinations for seekers of thrills and whimsy in the Carsverse. How do the Cars ride roller coasters? What.... are bumper cars? And what would it take to make a Car puke? Also, we talk about terrible it would be to be an aircraft carrier in this world for a while. Like, honestly.
You ever wonder ka-cHOW we got here? (I know that one isn't great, but I was having trouble with it. Just like... let it go this once.) How did our protagonist go from the humble Montgomery to the arrogant Lightning? What was his home life like? How did he work through the minor leagues of racing? How does his sexualization of Mia and Tia reflect on him? How does deodorant work in their world? What are noses? What were we talking about?
Hey, right off the bat, this one is a little slapdash. Like, obviously if you've made it to episode 56, you've come to expect that, but more than usual, we had some technical difficulties and John just finished a move, so we had to knock this one out with not much thought or prep. That doesn't stop us from insinuating that the Cars have retractable mouth hands or that they keep Lin-Manuel Miranda prisoner to rewrite human musicals for the Carfolk. You could never stop us from saying those things. Don't even try. Oh, also the episode is about Art, I guess?
Welcome, foolish mortals, to The Ka-Chat. Come join us in our own garage of horrors as we discuss things that go bump in the night. The CAR night, that is. You guessed it, this week, John and Lucas take a look on the spookier side of things with examination of all things supernatural and paranormal in the Carsverse. Monsters trucks, van-pires, car ghosts, and more all await for you once you begin this podcast journey, so go ahead and enter.... IF YOU DARE.
You know what time it is, folks! That's right, we've invented a new mini-series of episodes where we analyze the possibilities of different shows, movies, and other media as prequels to Cars, Or-Engine Stories! (Side note: If you can think of a better name for it, send it our way. This is not a joke. We do not like this name.) To start it off, we decided to look at one of our favorites, Pacific Rim! Join us as we look at how the Precursors could have come back, assimilated with the human race, and created a society of people permanently drifting with their cars. Also, we gush about the movie a lot because it's really really good. Please watch it.
Listen. I don't know enough about The Secret Life of Pets to make any quality jokes in this description about it. So I'm not gonna, because it's season two of The Ka-Chat now, and we're getting serious. No beating around the bush. This one is about pets, but honestly, we mostly talk about a single bicycle that John had as a kid that looked a little bit like a motorcycle. We get so caught up in it that we start to create a half-baked "Beastly" rip-off around it. Not even half-baked. Like, an eighth-baked, tops.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Man. Somehow we've been doing this for a year???? And y'all are still listening to it? Pretty bonkers stuff. So to celebrate, we decided to do a full episode of answering YOUR questions in what is probably our favorite episode so far. We refresh your memory on some of our craziest theories, come up with some new ones on the spot, and even answer the most hard hitting question of all: "Do people even like Amy Schumer enough for her to have a cooking show?"
That's right folks. Hollywood's greatest movie pitcher's are back at again at the Krispy Kreme. This time, we've come prepared to present to you: The perfect Cars Prequel. To get it done, we are going back to Thomasville, Doc Hudson's hometown, to explore the world of high school racing, moonshine running, and a community divided. (Basically, we rip off the Mighty Ducks. And Rocky. And Footloose. And Breakfast Club, I think? But hey, those are good movies, so this one has to be, right?)
Hey.... So I know we've clearly watched Cars before based on, ya know, this whole show, but we realized that while the other movies had dedicated episodes, we never did that for the O.G. So.... now seemed like a good time to fix that, for our 50th episode extravaganza! So join us as we explore Cars, a decent enough movie that started this whole weird journey of ours off in the first place.
So we were going to do this last week, but then we didn't, so now we're doing it... now. So. Everyone finish up tuning, because this week we are talking about music in the Carsverse! Both literal music the we think the Cars perform and create within their movie universe, as well as the music that appears on the soundtrack of the Cars and Planes movies (about 40% of which is created by Brad Paisley, as we find out.) Also, we realize we don't know if the Cars have windshield wipers. They don't, right? But like... they're cars, they have to, right? But........................... They don't, right?
I know we did an "Auto-Biography" like, two episodes ago, but this one was an accident. We were all set to talk about music in the Carsverse (well, as set as we ever are) and then got distracted when Lucas read the bio of one of these weird weird cars. Is their only real part almost murdering Mack and Lightning at the beginning of Cars and then getting arrested as a credits gag at the end? Yes. But after some digging, a new story emerges. A story of four individuals who had everything going for them, and then suddenly hit a downward spiral. Entering a life of crime, getting involved with drugs, and eventually being abandoned by society. So, actually no. They have a much bigger part then anyone ever realized.
Eh, I know the title pun isn't great this week, but to be fair, is it ever? Anyway, this week we discuss the financial system of the Carsverse, or the complete lack thereof! Most of the episode is just John and Lucas arguing about whether money exists in this universe in the first place or not. Also, Lucas spends a solid few minutes explaining to some degree of detail how the economy of Animal Crossing works, but to be fair, he likes that game a lot. So.
Listen, I'm gonna cut through all the malarkey and say that we read an erotic poem about a car from Cars on this episode. Do we also do a normal episode, discussing the plight of Miss Fritter and the rest of the demolition derby/crazy 8's crew, going in depth on how these are members of a society that has failed to protect them? Do we insinuate that Miss Fritter is a devilish cult leader, preying on the disadvantaged members to create entertainment? Yeah, but we also read Cars smut, and we both know what you're here for.
You remember how we were going to talk about the general concept of racing last week but then we didn't? Well... this week we actually do it! How much can/do the Cars modify themselves for these sports? Does real life Rocket League exist in this universe? And why does everyone seem to care so so much about what is, let's be honest, a pretty boring sport? All that, plus a discussion of how Stanley's ghost definitely possesses Lightning from time to time.
Listen, we weren't gonna do this this week. We had a whole episode planned, just talking about racing. But then, in preparation, we watched this tiny, 6 minute short, and that derailed everything. I can already hear you asking: "Oh, how could a short about Lightning just being challenged to a race be that important?" Well you sound like an idiot, because this race features ghosts, a cave full of naturally occurring, working tailpipes, and a forest full of what can only be dead bodies. So a pretty important race for us, when it comes down to it.
We almost went with "Van-demic" but this barely won out. Yep, we decided to go topical this week and talk about some areas of life you may be experiencing lately! How would disease spread through the cars? Would they be able to self-isolate effectively? And most importantly, would they be able to play Animal Crossing: New Horizons? Listen and find out!
Hello again, and welcome back to our first two part episode! We're just playing Cars D&D some more. That's pretty much it.
You remember, like, a month and a half ago when we made a RPG system for the Carsverse and then said "Eh, we'll play this at... some point, I guess!"? Well... we're doing that now! And even better, we've got some very special guests to join us and make this work, you've heard their questions over and over again, get ready for some direct conversations with the Lizes! Join Freddy Chops, JB, and Tank Treads as they search for Lightning before it's too late!
Our extensive superhero knowledge is finally coming in handy, y'all. That's right, this week we are entering the world of costumed heroes and diving into superpowered beings in the Carsverse. Who are they? What would there powers be? Can't some of them just fly anyway? All of these questions are asked, at the very least. I don't really remember if we answer them, you know how we are with.... not answering things. But it's a fun episode, even if we do try to out obscure-superhero-reference each other for a lot of it.
So there are bugs in the Cars movies. They're, like, little VW beetles with wings? Which, admittedly, is a good joke, but at what cost? Cause now, John and Lucas have to spend their limited time on this planet talking about what their wings are made of, if they are sentient or not, how they reproduce, if they are related to the main race of cars we see throughout the films, you get the idea. I mean, they don't have to talk about it, but we both know they're gonna. Oh, also they talk about a "bird" that is just one of those toy planes with the rubber band engine for the other half too, that's why "bird" is in the title.
Hey, so we didn't have a plan for this one before we got together to record it, so we just kind of watched a bunch of the bonus content on the various Carsverse DVDs at Lucas's apartment. Don't get me wrong though, those contained some incredibly dark deleted scenes from Cars, a few truly bizarre episodes from the Planes movies, and one short that contains just inordinate amounts of poop. Like, take whatever you think is "too much poop to be explicitly shown in a Carsverse feature." and just quintuple it. It's a weird one this week, folks.
Listen. I feel as if I should warn you right off the bat, this one does contain at least ten minutes of us just kinda spiraling about the current state of our democracy, so.... sorry about that! But in the bits that aren't that, we do make some points about politics in the Carsverse! We also spend, like, a sizable chunk of the episode just kind of talking about the mechanics of inflatable rafts in this universe of sentient vehicles. Not politics, but still pretty fun! Please vote! Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please vote.
Paging Dr. The Ka-Chat, you are needed in the.... podcast wing, I guess? Man. That one was a stretch, even for these little descriptions I write that I'm not sure anyone reads. ANYWAY, this week, we are talking about the world of medicine in the Carsverse! Where is the line between doctor and mechanic? How does disease spread, and how do they handle it? And what kind of sick medical experiments has that one forklift from Planes: Fire & Rescue done? Come find out, stat! Oh no, the joke doesn't have a heartbeat anymore! CLEAR!
Ok, right off the bat, we do a remarkably bad job talking about Flo in this one. Not completely (Flo's is a sonic.) and not because there is a lack of things to talk about regarding Flo, her business, her relationship, and her former life as a member of the Doo-Wop group The Motorama Girls. It's uh..... mostly because we're bad at this? Like, that's the big thing about it. We do talk about those things though! And it's still a good episode! We just also talk about farts and stuff for a bit.
Well met, traveller! Hast thou come seeking adventure? Adventure being centered mostly around a series of Pixar and Disneytoon Studios movies? Well, do I have.... alright news for you, I guess. We don't actually, uh.... do any adventuring this episode? We just figure out the mechanics of a Cars based RPG system? That's right everyone, in what critics are calling "Their most niche episode yet, and that's really saying something." and "Like, it's still funny and stuff, but I can't stress this enough, they just make D&D but for Cars this episode?" it's Episode 34: Dungeons & Dragsters!
Oh thank god, finally a subject we know something about! That's right folks, this week we're diving right into cyberspace to explore what the internet and computers would be like in the Carsverse. (Fun fact: The internet is where The Ka-Chat lives.) So you KNOW we're talking about how they browse with no hands, whether these computers are built into them, and if they are, what the implications are of a sentient being that is hackable. Oh, also Lucas went to Disney World this past week and met Lightning, he's pretty jazzed about it, so just like, let him have it, ya know?
Ya know, after our success pitching, producing, and starring in the critically acclaimed, and massively successful movie "Boats: The Search for McQueen," we figured that it was time again to milk this cash cow. Therefore, please sit back and enjoy our pitch for "Cars 4: A Cars Story," a more intimate and small scale look at the every day life of the citizens of Radiator Springs and the impact that Lightning's celebrity has brought to their sleepy little town.
Alternate titles for this episode: "The Tow-mi-Mater" and "Nothing Matters, Mater can Time Travel." That's right folks, we are heading back to the land of Mater's stories for the final entry in his book: "Time Travel Mater." Mater can, in fact, travel through time. Which is... challenging, to say the least. Join as we discuss the founding of Radiator Springs, how Cars would golf (I promise it is related to the episode), and the implications of an all-powerful, master of all times Mater. We even dust off a forbidden tome, and take a look at an early scrapped pitch for this very short. If you think what they actually produced and distributed sounds bonkers, wait until you hear what they decided was a bit too far out there.
Probably not, right? BUT we can probably title it the nonsense we did title it! Probably. Maybe. We aren't really basing that anything. We, uh.... don't know the law. Please don't sue us, Honda. This is probably good publicity? Well, anyway, this is our Holiday Special! We talk about the elusive Santa Car, the fact that Cars is basically a Hallmark movie, and because we can't go just ONE episode without bringing some horror, the sad realities of icy roads in the Carsverse and some good ole fashioned reindeer body horror. So.... It's the Most Honda-ful Time of the Year? That probably just makes it worse. Ah jeez.
Ok, so.... the thing is.... Listen, I don't know how to make a fun little description about this one. There's just so much that happens in this one, folks. Mater is a doctor. Mater is a plane. Mater is a wrestler. Mater can fly. Mater is a fire truck. Mater is a detective. Mater is a rock star. Mater is part alien, maybe? Mater is all-knowing and all-seeing. Mater is, well, everything. Mater was here before us, and you can bet that he will be here after us. As he has written in the ancient texts, "If I'm lyin', I'm cryin'" and let me tell ya, he ain't cryin'. Bow before your lord and Mater, and hope he extends his merciful hook to you.
Once upon a time, there were two young men who were simply obsessed with a series of movies fully intended and marketed towards children. One day, they decided to explore the world of fantasy and fairy tales within this magical universe. Around this time, the one writing the description for the episode got tired of this gimmick and sort of gave up on it. So... yeah! We talk about different fantasy races and creatures in the Carsverse, how fairy tales would have played out, and I feel bad for abandoning my theme for this description, so uh.... We all live happily ever after, I guess.
It's an awful big universe out there, and I'd say it's about time we explored a bit more of it. That's right folks, this week we are boldly going and exploring the cosmos! Join us as we take a close look at rockets and satellites in the Carsverse, what space exploration would look like for a species of sentient vehicles, and of course, close encounters of the third gear. (Honestly, if we ever circle back and do a full devoted episode to aliens in the Carsverse, I'm defo gonna use that as the title. So if you actually read these, pretend like you are reading that for the first time if/when that happens.)
You know, we've wanted to get into war in the Carsverse for a while, but honestly, it's such a big thing, we had to break it up into a few parts. So uh.... new miniseries, expect a few more in the Cars of Duty series coming your way in the future! Anyway, this time we get into the physical methods of fighting and combat in the Carsverse, which, for the record, does canonically confirm the existence of war, like, way too many times. So we are get into weaponry, tanks and warships, and just get kinda bummed about from thinking about war so much.
So, listen. There's a scene in the first Cars movie in which Lightning McQueen is brought into a court with no jury and without ever being offered bail, assigned Mater as his lawyer without ever being able to contact his real legal team, sentenced to "community service" (a sentence in which he is held indefinitely while completing incredibly grueling labour and being starved of fuel), and then court is adjourned. From start to finish, this takes around 4 minutes. So uh.... that's pretty messed up, right? You should listen to us talk about that.
You know how we did an episode on Planes: Fire & Rescue, like, four episodes ago? Well, we couldn't stop thinking about the fire fighting team from it, so we decided to go back to Piston Peak and do a whole episode on them! Interested in Maru's incredibly advanced medical techniques? Maybe you wanna hear about Cabbie's military service, or Lil' Dipper's strange obsession with Dusty? Well.... Good! We talk about all of that. That's why I listed all of it. It was intentional.
Light a candle or two, put on some music, and pour yourself a little oil, cause this week, Lucas and John are getting a bit romantic. Join us as we explore all the different ways Cars live with and around each other in this crazy little world they inhabit. We cover all the bases, from friendship to puppy love to weddings and marriage. We also attempt and pretty immediately fail to avoid talking about how Car sex works, as well as discuss whether Lightning lives in Mack all the time, or just some of the time. So that's something.
Listen. I don't want to freak you out. But be forewarned. We have a doozy of Halloween Spooktacluar here for you all. We watched all 13 episodes of 1997's best show about teens that are also cars that are also vampires, and man. I want you to imagine how bad you think a show called Van-pires from the late 90's that was cancelled after 13 episodes and leans heavily on early CGI animation would be. Well, go ahead and triple it. Also, we figure out how it's linked to Cars, cause, I dunno. We gotta?
Time to... rev it up? Get on that ole iron steed? Ride... a motorcycle? Listen. John is the one who knows things about motorcycles, and I (Lucas) am writing this at like 1 a.m. when I've got to go to work in the morning, so like... forgive me if I'm a little thin on the fun motorcycle stuff to interject into this description. Anyway, this is our motorcycle episode! Despite no motorcycles actually appearing in these movies at any point, we do go on to decide that motorcycles are H.G. Wells style, underground dwelling monsters, (Morlocks to be exact. Sexy, sexy morlocks.)
Listen. Yes, we have now watched all the feature length films in the Carsverse. That's great. A momentous occasion. But I have to gloss over that fact, because we did a pretty big goof. As a matter of fact, we did a lot of tiny goofs over the course of the past several months, in that we did not actually know the name of this movie until the day we recorded this episode. It... kind of throws us for a loop. We can't really get focused on, ya know, talking about the movie for a while because of it. But, anyway, here's our Planes: Fire & Rescue episode, I guess.
Hey uh, Hollywood? Just wanted to let you know, you might want to make some room. Cause your two favorite Carscasters are coming crashing right in. That's right folks. We decided that the fame and fortune that The Ka-Chat provides wasn't quite enough, and so we're grabbing a new golden goose. So come peek in on our brainstorming session for our pitch for a new Carsverse spin-off: Boats: The Search for McQueen.
So no one TOLD you life was gonna be this waaaaaay. (honk honk honk honk)
You got it folks, this week we're diving into all the different ways the denizens of the Carsverse find to entertain themselves, from video games, to movies and TV, to as much discussion of porn in the Carsverse as we can physically handle. So... not much. We also talk about Friends for a while (see beginning of this description) and Mater eating a carrot. We talk about that for, like, a WHILE.
Alright. I'll be the first to admit. This one has more than a few reaches. John talks about a theory so nonsensical that I am currently breaking my rule to keep it vague who is writing these. But we cover some ground! I think. Honestly, I can't remember. We do talk about the movies The Country Bears and Tommorowland for a little bit. So if you're into obscure movies based of off features of the Disney parks, this is the episode for you.
Oh shoot! We're dropping a new type of episode on y'all! (If we ever, ya know, do this again, that is.) Welcome to the first of our series of deep dives into individual characters, Auto-Biographies. (Listen, Lucas is going to refer to it as "Profiles in Car-age" during the episode, because that was the name he first came up with, and while he stands by that name, like two days after we recorded this, John came up with "Auto-Biographies" which is obviously better.) Get ready to learn more than you ever thought you would know about our first subjects, Rusty and Dusty Rust-eze!
Hello everyone, this is you captain speaking. Please return your seats to their full, upright position, as we are making our final descent to The Ka-Chat. On your left you will see a couple of young men examining a strange little movie, Planes, a spin-off to the main Cars movies. If you look closely you may notice some odd details, including a plane/car hybrid, a nonsensical plane racing system, and a completely tonally deaf WWII battle sequence. Looks like those two little rascals have their hands full this week. Anyway, we have touched down here in the best Carscast around, please remain seated until we have reached the gate, and be careful when opening the overhead compartments, as items may have shifted in landing.
PLAY BALL! This week, we are diving into the exciting world of the sports of the Carsverse. It's uh.... mostly racing. Almost entirely racing. Really, it's just racing and one demolition derby that is also sort of a race. But that doesn't stop our intrepid hosts from finding an hours worth of content for you lovely folks! Even if a lot it is talking about Batman and debating who would win in a fight between Bruce Lee and The Mountain.
Ok, so usually we record these weeks in advance to create a buffer, but this one is urgent, so we recorded this last week. I don't really know how to say this, but it's happening. Jaguar has decided to slap some eyes on a self driving car, without considering the terrible consequences their actions will incur. So we have to do it. And despite spending approximately 13% of the episode talking about High School Musical: The Musical: The Series and referencing Justice League Unlimited three discrete times, we still manage to come to the conclusion that the Carpocalypse isn't just coming, it's here.
This week, we're finally giving everyone what they've been clamoring for. That's right, we're talking about the fashion of the Carsverse. What are the latest trends in paint jobs? Who is the hottest name in tires? And what's coming up for windshield wipers? Well, we answer.... almost none of those questions. Honestly, we establish pretty early on that we have no idea what we're talking about, and spend most of the episode on random tangents. But I mean, y'all have listened before, none of this should be too shocking to you.
Folks, I'll be honest, this one is a little all over the place. At one point, John brings up a subreddit about dragons having sex with cars without in any way connecting it to what we're talking about, and Lucas doesn't even question it. And it gets weirder from there. Join us as we explore organized religion within the Carsverse, from Car circumcision to WALL-E as an almighty being, and everything in between.
Oh, shoot! We've finally watched all the Cars movies! That's probably good, it was getting harder to justify, ya know, making a podcast about them without doing that. And I mean, we still have the Planes movies, but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. Anyway, this time we do a deep dive into the third and most recent installment to the Cars series! Honestly, I think we make some pretty decent points and observations about the highs and lows of the themes and execution of those themes, but don't worry, we also get really mad about a character who appears to be wearing a toupee, just to balance it out.
If a single one of you tweets or emails us or something to tell us there is a typo in the title, I'll know you didn't actually listen to the episode first. Which, I guess has no real consequences? But.... still don't do it. Anyway, this week, we decided to take a pretty hard left turn, and just do a deep dive into one user profile on the Pixar wiki. He's passionate, he has some bold ideas for the series, and he also basically laid out our entire show before we even started thinking about it. The Ka-Chat stands on the shoulders of a giant, and we can't wait to introduce you to him. Ladies and Gentlecars, our hero, Lightening McQueen.
Man. They grow up so freakin fast, don't they? Just brings a tear to your eye. In today's episode, John and Lucas look back at the carefree days of youth these Cars experience. For, like, 10% of the episode. The rest of it looks at some of the more unpleasant areas of aging and childhood, from re-examining the horrifying idea of Cars giving birth, to going even more in depth about the life span and eventual death these creatures experience. So.... a pretty fun one!
ALL ABOARD! Welcome one and all to The Ka-Chat Express, where this week, we're going to be discussing the trains present within the Carsverse. There may only be three named trains within these movies, but we certainly didn't let that stop us, and neither should you. Things start off pretty normal, but we create a religion around these massive beasts, like, really quickly. But I mean, that's honestly not too out there for us, is it?
You know, when you think about it, it didn't make a ton of sense to structure the episode as "Let's talk about cryptids for a while, also, normal animals also exist in the Cars universe." But oh no, it's already posting! Anyway, in this episode we explore all kinds of different biomes and ecosystems, from the forests where Bigwheel hides from us, to the farms full of tractors that the Cars.... milk, I guess? Golly. That's a sticky wicket. Bet you'll enjoy listening to us talk about that.
You know, Lucas probably should have done this before starting a podcast about these movies, but oh well, pobody's nerfect! Anyway, if you couldn't guess from our incredibly clearly stated title, Lucas watched Cars 2, so we decided to go ahead and do a deep dive into it this episode, everything from the plight of the Lemons, to how Mater handles a movie of his own, to the genuinely distressing amount of Car death present in this middle child of a film.
Oh shoot, y'all got juked! I bet you thought we were only gonna talk about Cars on this podcast, ya know, because all of our branding and what we have directly told you online and in the episodes themselves? Well, don't you look stupid. Anyway, in honor of the upcoming release of Toy Story 4, we decided to take a quick detour and talk about the implications of the Toy Story universe, and let me tell ya, it's not much better over there. Oh, also we argue about Shakespeare for a while, which I mean, makes sense, what else would we do for our Toy Story episode?
Man, I hope y'all brought your appetites. We are dining on the finest cuisine that the Cars universe has to offer, everything from our most vintage gasolines and oils to, ya know, real food. Today we are exploring what our friends in Radiator Springs consume to keep on moving, and what happens to the Earth in a world full of creatures with engines that are actively running 24/7. As a hint, it's not great.
Get your jaws of life, people. Today, we're going inside the Cars themselves. Join us as we dissect these majestic creatures, disscussing how much of them is squishy, wondering where exactly all the that oil and gasoline that they drink goes, and creating a little Cars fan-fiction along the way. Be sure to bring your coveralls. This one's gonna get messy.
On your marks, get set, go! The maiden voyage of The Ka-Chat has begun. You are legally obligated to break a bottle of champagne on your listening device. Sorry, I don't make the rules. Anyway, in this episode, John and Lucas, appropriately enough, talk about beginnings. Inappropriately enough, John says the phrase "Car J***" at least, like, 4 times. So uh... Sorry about that, I guess. Please listen to it anyway.