The Art of Self-Development; Create Your Life with PD: Recent Episodes
Petr Drimalka
This podcast is dedicated to you who want to continuously improve your emotional intelligence, people skills, motivation, happiness as well as build your success - and by doing so, truly make a difference. (Cover art photo provided by Zac Durant on Unsplash)
Finding and maintaining a meaningful life involves life experiences and perspective shifts, mindful practices, deep relationships, and a growth mindset. By embracing challenges, cherishing the present, and contributing to others, we can transform even the most harrowing experiences into pathways to meaning and purpose.
Self-confidence is the foundation for success and fulfillment. By embracing vulnerability, learning from failure, and recognizing and building on your unique strengths, you can transform self-doubt into self-belief. Use positive self-talk, visualize your goals, and celebrate small wins along the path to your eventual success.
Emotional Intelligence is much more than just a buzzword; it's one of the most important life skills and a lifeline in the sea of emotions.
A good relationship is a simple thing to have, but often difficult to maintain. It requires a return to simplicity, honesty, and appreciation. Most importantly, a great relationship is also a continuous return to ourselves.
Lying is a curious thing. We learn to lie as children as an important skill of distinguishing fiction from reality. However, many of us grow up without fully understanding what tricks and techniques we used to use as children and how much better off we will be instead if we switch to being increasingly more respectful, appreciative, and honest.
It's good practice to be more mindful and in control of your life. But even when things are planned in the best way possible, something can happen that can change our course unexpectedly and dramatically. Fortunately, things are rarely what they seem, and a seeming adversity is often really an opportunity to do something new and better.
Most of the time, as adults, we live in our thoughts. We do it when we get up, go to work, or when we try to distract ourselves from our feelings with all the modern inventions at our disposal. Most of us barely even remember what it was like to feel and to use our senses. We learned to abstract from reality and construct our lives in our heads. But there is a way out. In fact, there are many ways to return to where we once were as more mature adults who can choose to live better lives.
There's one quality we all have when we are children that most lose over time. And it's not hard work or intelligence alone. At the end of the day, those who can keep their openness and curiosity (or learn to get it back) will always be the ones to succeed.
It is true that the real test of a man is not simply how physically strong or dominant he is. It is how comfortable we are with our emotions, especially as it relates to helping other people and becoming our best, most mature selves. And the peace this affords us has to be earned in the crucible of a fight that is much more important and dire than facing physical conflict alone.
There are several components to what we call self-esteem. There is the influence of our genes, there's our place in our social order (and how well we stick to it), and perhaps most importantly, how we progress in things that matter to us (that is, how we set and achieve goals for ourselves). All of these will reward us with positive feelings through chemicals in the brain. While some things are more easily influenced than others, there's a lot we can do to live better, fuller lives than we previously thought possible.
We are conditioned to do what other people want us to do, which we take for the right thing to do. Yet, each individual life is unique and requires our own unique and sometimes out-of-the-box decisions to be made. Because a life half-conscious is a life half-lived. It all boils down to two questions: What do you want, and why?
So often, in our day-to-day lives, we become stuck in our own heads, not really feeling our bodies or connecting to the people around us. Great things happen when we reconnect with ourselves, knowing we can only benefit by becoming more of who we truly want to be.
Too often, we focus on what we want to achieve without considering why we want it or how we can create the best results. We put our focus outside of where our power lies. Taking that focus and putting it back where it belongs - on doing our best in the situation and learning from the experience, rather than just on "what's in it for me" is the key to any real and meaningful success and to becoming a force of positive influence for others.
Many of us continue to hold beliefs that hold us back, that were untrue even when we picked them up when we were much younger. We still see these beliefs as accurate without questioning them simply because they have become familiar. But that doesn't make them true. By adopting a growth mindset, you can achieve your dreams, as well as what you don't yet know will benefit your life the most.
We like to be active, go out and achieve. This is all great most of the time, but sometimes we get so caught up in achieving our goals we no longer realize what the real purpose of the goal was, why we wanted to achieve it or what has happened in the meantime. Sometimes taking a break is an art of reconnecting with ourselves on a deeper level, which will lead to making a change that will ultimately benefit us more than always trying to achieve.
We are living in a time when more people are gaining power over public discourse than ever before. There are many positives to it - from giving more power to individuals to giving voice to the voiceless. A lot of good has been done that couldn't be done before. Unfortunately, even well-meant ideas don't always lead to public good, particularly when they are used irresponsibly or when they are downright abused.
We are each the most important person in the world. Most of us have known this since childhood and never relinquished this idea. There are good psychological and biological reasons for this as a default outlook on life. At the same time, we benefit greatly from a more balanced perspective. The mature person can understand and live with the notion that they are insignificant in the bigger scheme of things and, at the same time, the most important, because that is how we make important changes in our lives.
Responsibility is the spice of life. It creates meaning out of nothing. It builds strength of character. It makes pain go away. And it's the one thing that creates true happiness in life. There are caveats about what to feel or not to feel responsible for, but taking more responsibility for our lives is almost always the best and most empowering thing we can do.
Many of us grew up believing there was something wrong with us if we were quiet or kept to ourselves while doing our things or read a lot of books instead of socializing. Yet, as a society, we are beginning to realize that introverts have the power and focus to make things happen that will change our world.
Genuine authenticity is not an easy thing to understand, let alone maintain in day-to-day life. But the more we learn the principles and live by them, the more our lives and those around us become positively transformed.
We spend much of our lives trying to get what we think we want and what we think other people want us to do and want. Only when we realize that we are enough and that other people are enough, we can create space for all that is real and special in life.
Dieting, in all its different forms, is now a huge business - and most often, it has other agenda than improving your health or keeping you fit (which would generally be contrary to its business model). While you can seek comprehensive advice from a good trainer or nutritionist, the change in your lifestyle that will make the most difference doesn't need to be big or complicated. And it can be the best thing you've ever done almost from the get-go.
Healthy self-esteem is the foundation for self-respect and confidence, each of which will build a better, happier life. There are several qualities that make for strong self-esteem, not least of which, paradoxically, is humility.
This is one of the "heavier" episodes. Drawing from CBT (or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) it focuses on the relationship between cognition (mainly thinking, feeling, and beliefs) and taking action. It explores how these influence and strengthen each other and how understanding why we think and do things the way we do can help us positively transform our lives.
The fear of success is one of the greatest limitations we put on ourselves so we don't achieve what we have every right to get, even though this fear is something very different from what we commonly think. Understanding how this fear works will skyrocket our success, especially for those who deserve success the most - the most caring of us, who prefer not to ruffle any feathers, or who tend to put other people first.
Learning new skills and becoming better versions of ourselves is one of the biggest (and most addictive) pleasures life has to offer. One which will work amazingly well for us...as long as we put it in service of a greater good.
Sometimes we feel we're not measuring up, and that everyone else can see that. We might even feel helpless and isolated. When that happens, we often miss that the feeling can in fact be a blessing in disguise that can skyrocket our self-development to new heights.
Psychologists know there is much more to the human mind than we are consciously aware of. So do people with eidetic memory, people who have learned the method of photoreading, and any kind of geniuses and prodigies that we believe are "gifted". Understanding and making better use of the part of our mind that we are not normally aware of is the basis for a happier life better aligned with our values, as well as any big achievement.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a serious mental health problem caused by a single trauma or a number of traumatic incidents. While successful treatment generally includes working with a specialist, there is a lot we can do to better understand the condition, our triggers, and how our past can be better understood and used to live a better life in the future.
Being authentic means saying no at times - to ourselves and the people around us. Learning the process also means choosing guilt over resentment, understanding it, and letting it go.
There are moments in life when we feel helpless or overwhelmed - like we're not good enough, or we lost our way and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Fortunately, this very feeling has information contained in it that can lead us to master the very thing that used to give us fear.
Many people like to have a lot of friends, but we know only some of them are really special. Let's see what it takes to be such a friend so that you can be that to the people that are special to you; most of all, to yourself.
This day and age gives us a lot to think about. We have our jobs and assignments, our mortgages, the future of our kids...All of these things lead us to live more in our thoughts about the past and in planning for the future than in the present. We become so torn between our mind and our emotions that we often end up trying to dissociate from the one thing that can lead us back to ourselves.
We like to believe that success in life is the result of hard work and talent alone, and that is simply not true. There is one much more important quality that we can all develop, and that is the ability to put your focus where you want it - and, even more importantly, to develop a system of putting it back where it belongs whenever needed.
Some of the most important life changes require more than just a realization. They call for the ability to move past our excuses and rationalizations and to do the work that will bear the fruit we want.
In sex and relationships, many of us didn't exactly get the best start, and we feel the effect throughout our lives. Let's take a look at one of the areas where openness and growth can help make all the difference in the world.
Growing up, many of us have been taught to be more cautious and serious and to downplay our curiosity. And for sure, there are times when being cautious is the right approach; but apart from the rare situations that warrant it, cultivating healthy curiosity brings much more benefits than anything else.
Most of us don't understand what good sleep does for us and just how important it is for our health and well being. Let's take a deeper dive into why your tonight's good sleep is one of the best gifts you can give yourself today and for many years to come.
Sleep takes up about a third of our lives - or at least it should. Why? Because good sleep, just like good nourishment, is a pre-requisite for us to be at our best; to be healthier, happier and to live longer.
The 200th episode is a re-visit of the most important topics discussed on the podcast. While some of these concepts and tips may seem basic, this is exactly where the biggest long-term benefits come from.
Relationships can be hard work, especially when we don't have enough experience and don't know exactly what we are doing. While there are tons of tips and ideas on how to make a relationship strong, these ideas can be broken down to several key principles that, when maintained, will keep your relationship strong and healthy for life.
Intelligence is not just being smart. It is one of the most important and most transferable life skills that will help you do better in life and work alike.
Becoming your best self doesn't necessarily require studying a ton of books or going to fancy self-improvement workshops (or listening to sophisticated podcasts). It really is about going back to the basics - and making sure every part of your life and personality aligns with your life vision and purpose.
There is a key quality that leads to us being attractive and welcome in any crowd; one that we have access to as children and that we tend to lose when growing up, hopefully picking it up later at some point. It is indeed true that honesty is the greatest aphrodisiac.
We all want that special someone waiting - we think - for us somewhere out there. You know, the One. The good news is, he or she really is there for us. The even better news is they're more than one. And best of all, we will attract them to our lives when we make ourselves ready for the relationship, and not a moment sooner.
Most of us grow up thinking we are not good enough being ourselves, that we don't measure up. This can be a healthy thing that drives us to be more active and achieve great things, up to a point. In excess, the same drive is exactly the thing that will limit us the most. Until, that is, we learn to balance the learned drive to always judge and criticize what we do and who we are with allowing ourselves to be at our best.
There are specific qualities that make a man desirable to women. That, in fact, can make any man as attractive - if not more - as the most beautiful woman is to a man. And it's not fame, looks or how much the man has on his bank account.
A broken heart is one of the most painful things and stages in life we can experience - no matter how many people will tell us that it will pass or that there are "many other fish in the sea." The true lesson and relief from heartbreak ultimately is not just time. It is the realization of why we couldn't really be with the person we originally fell in love with, what is valuable about the lesson, and how we can create meaning out of it that will make us a better, stronger and more evolved version of ourselves. There is no insight without any pain. The trick, in the words of T.E. Lawrence of Arabia, is not minding that it hurts.
Being strong and dominant (especially in men) is increasingly seen as a decidedly bad, even dangerous quality. Yet, contrary to what many of us would believe, dominance is not aggression - it is a healthy, natural trait that, when used well, can bring out the best in you and everyone else.
We all like to increase the highs and diminish the lows in how we feel, but at times we may feel like the pendulum swings almost too far in both directions. It's okay to feel strong emotions, but sometimes we need to equalize them and find some equilibrium.
Each one of us has core beliefs that we've formed mostly in our childhood that affect everything we do - mostly without us knowing it. These will lead to situations we don't seem to know how to resolve or how we got there. Until, that is, we resolve to dive deep, shine light on our needs and core beliefs, and transform and fulfill them. When we make sure we truly take care of ourselves first, we can do our part in transforming the world for the better.
We often think we remember events exactly the way they happened, but that is not true. We generally only recall a tiny slice of our past, tailored by our unconscious mind to help us move towards something or away from something. This served us when were younger, especially to avoid danger, but now the ability to change your perception of what happened in your past - and focus on what is the most useful in it - can literally transform your life.
Happiness is not just positivity or blind optimism. True happiness comes from openness to experience and the ability to work with whatever life brings you. Openness and flexibility are two skills, two character traits you can develop, that will always help you get there.
Personal boundaries work just like boundaries between countries. If they are weak and porous they let in what you don't want. If they are too strong, nothing gets in or out. The healthiest boundaries are strong, but at the same time flexible, like a gate that can open and close when needed.
Almost all of us fight in relationships, and we generally don't like it. Many of us try to avoid fights as long as we can, until the fight becomes big, scary and unavoidable. But what if there is another way, what if fight can be raised to an art - one that can make sure we put the relationship above ourselves, and we both get a relationship that's so great, so mature, and in effect so amazing we didn't even think we could have it.
Like with anything else that you do, you can make getting out of your comfort zone a habit. When you do this one thing that most people never will, everything else becomes easy.
Who would fear love? Turns out most of us do and this causes us to have trouble really connecting - and this brings all kinds of problems. Transforming this deep fear can lead to elevating intimate relationships in amazing ways and living a much more fulfilling life.
Rejection by someone you love can feel like a little death, especially if it only happens rarely and it's out of the blue. Massive, expected rejection, however, can be the best way to learn what your weaknesses are, how to deal with them, and ultimately how to grow beyond your limitations into what you have never thought possible.
Most of us have never properly learned the skill of leaving a commitment that no longer serves us. Sometimes it happens when we weren't able to say no when we should have done so in the past, or when the situation changed - or when the commitment no longer benefits us or the other party. In these cases, the time comes for leaving the commitment in a way that doesn't hurt us or the person we made a commitment to, better yet, in a way that benefits you both.
Sexual communication is one of the deepest layers of communication. One that is not taught at school, but is the foundation for getting in touch with who we truly are, for relating to our loved ones, and ultimately to achieve some of our deepest and most intimate dreams.
Most of the time we take things at face value. We do the things we've always done and see things we've always seen. That's because we are hard-wired to unconsciously look for evidence for beliefs we've formed when we were younger and less experienced. Yet, with a new way of looking at the world we can see beyond the veneer. We can use our new experience to communicate with people better, to explore new experiences and possibilities they bring, or even to notice and bring into your life the love of your life who would otherwise forever remain in your blind spot.
Emotional Strength comes from knowing yourself - from being familiar with your past and your emotions - and from being able to use your emotions to support you. It is a skill that teaches you to be able to use the power of your mind to lead you to your goals so firmly you almost don't have any chance to miss them.
Unhealed past traumas are a treasure trove of learning and growth that put our self-development into higher gear, and almost (or sometimes literally) make the trauma worth the trouble.
Do you know exactly what you want for yourself and for your relationships? Do you know what you stand for and what your values are? Are you comfortable saying "no" and hearing "no"? Are you committed to you and your partner becoming your best selves, both together and apart? In other words, do you have good relationship boundaries? This is one of those episodes that go deeper and require more soul-searching, but when implemented in practice can give you more success and happiness than almost anything else in life. Let's dive deep.
There are two kinds of motivation. There is one you supply from the outside and that is finite; hard to get, and ultimately disappointing. There is another, intrinsic, motivation – this is your inner drive that you generate for yourself, that you are in charge of, that draws people to you like a moth to a flame, and that fulfills you more than anything else.
Sometimes we all feel like we want to be all alone, or like we are not strong enough to handle specific social situations. The cure is in building superior social skills and in taking more charge in our personal and social lives. With a little bit of practice we can improve the way we interact with people so that together we can all get what is best for us.
Often times when we are alone (and even when we're not), we feel other people are the key to our happiness and satisfaction. While there is a great deal to be said about the importance of social relationships, the key often is to make sure we meet people where we want to be.
We commonly distinguish between life and work; work and free time. But there is another, more meaningful distinction. Think of your life in terms of the activities that energize you, and those that take your energy away. The more you embrace the activities that you find meaningful and energizing, and minimize (or transform) the others, the more your life will take off and reach new heights.
Decisions are the building blocks of success. They create the day to day of our lives and significantly contribute to who we become at the end of the day. The most insidious decisions - and the most critical ones - are those that we make every day, oftentimes without giving them a proper thought.
Most of us don't like conflict and we routinely try to avoid it, preferring to be right rather than to see the other one's perspective. Sometimes we do it so much we allow whatever differences we have - with our partners and spouses, our compatriots and other countries - to fester so long that we are making actual resolution (or growth) nearly impossible. True conflict resolution calls for strength, and also for respect and caring about the other person, group or country enough to really listen to what they have to say. Only then we can put aside our differences for a greater good - and grow through the process.
Perspective is everything. It makes the difference between a scared child hiding in the corner and the most courageous leader fighting for a cause greater than himself; between a narcissist and a visionary. Get a perspective to see more of what is out there, what can be achieved and what makes every life meaningful.
Love is one of the most cherished, appreciated and romanticized things in life. We fall in love and we fall out of love. What we don't talk about much is that love is not just an emotion that happens to us. It also is a skill that can be practiced, deepened and brought forth to improve relationships and more effectively deal with difficult life situations.
Morning rituals, when done right, can be your biggest ally in your dealing with the challenges of the day, staying on track, and also just enjoying yourself more. They can be tricky to develop and maintain over time, but mastering them is the best conditioning for you to succeed at just about anything you want to do in your life - not by accident, but by design.
Happiness is an elusive thing to try to find, or capture. The older (and richer) we are, the more obvious it becomes that it tends to come to you when you're not looking. And it's mostly the little things that bring it closer to you.
The word vulnerability is often misunderstood as a weakness, rather than its polar opposite. Yet, unlike what we often think, openness and vulnerability can be the foundation for developing the skills, the relationships and the experiences that will open the door for us to achieve anything that really makes a difference.
There is something the best leaders, company CEOs and elite military commanders have in common. It is a unique frame of mind borne of conflict, pain, and learning to truly care about the future of your people.
It is not by working too hard, or by making your life easy, that you will make things work out for you. It is creating the ideal psychological environment (no matter where you're at) that creates the ideal trajectory for your life's success.
Yeah, you've heard it. New Year's resolutions don't work. Or do they? The truth is, New Year can be a great time to make some serious changes in your life, but they need to be well thought out, realistic, and...well, fun. Interested? This one is on how to make changes that stick, and how to enjoy making them.
Confidence seems to be an elusive trait to many of us, especially when we are younger. Fortunately, it is, in fact, a skill that can be understood and learned. Through building skills and accepting responsibility, you can develop a rock-solid confidence that will forever become a natural part of you.
We all have supercomputers between our ears which allow us to make all decisions, big and small. Let's tap into a skill that allows your natural ability to make decisions (mostly the right ones) to skyrocket.
Manipulation in different shapes and shades is a part of our lives. While many influences are completely healthy and legitimate, we can do a lot to be less on the receiving end of those that are not in our best interest.
Dealing with people (and with some in particular) can be demanding and sometimes stressful. While sometimes this calls for strength and self-assertion, often times a softer approach brings better results to everyone involved. Here come some tidbits of psychological knowledge and techniques that can be used to create a more open environment and make relating to people easier and more fun.
This is a daring episode; one on love and how it evolves as we grow up, on relationships, and also on things that are so true and obvious we often need to hide them - behind rules and prohibitions, gender theories and being politically correct. This episode is on the meaning of being a man or a woman, on wounds and on reinvention.
Develop and maintain a belief in your own abilities as you build the skills most needed for your success.
We all know them. Yes, those guys. This one is about jerks, pricks and A-holes. How to understand, have fun with and ultimately deflate them.
There is one skill that differentiates geniuses, scientists and top entrepreneurs from the rest of us - and it is the way they teach themselves to think in a way that is different and that gets them much better results.
Breaking up is usually not an easy thing to do, which is why when it comes it can really show your character. Also - if done right and for the right reasons - sometimes it can lead to a huge boost in the personal development and personal path of both you and your now ex partner.
The word "narcissist" is thrown around quite a lot these days, especially in the context of social media and the spotlight they afford us (and is often used incorrectly). The fact is that while having some narcissistic tendencies may actually be healthy (even desirable), clinical narcissism is a horrible condition that destroys the life of the narcissist and everyone in their vicinity. Let's take a look at how you can identify a narcissist, why they are the way they are, and what to do to negate any toxic influence they may have over you.
There are family patterns, habits, thought processes and behaviors running through whole families for generations. A less than ideal family pattern can easily be perpetuated and carried over to our children and relatives. It is a shame, because all it takes often is one person going through the journey of understanding our past and making things better to make a lasting change for everyone involved.
Hard work alone doesn't make a difference if we don't have a high-enough bar for what we accept in return. At work, in relationships, or in taking care of ourselves, working smarter gives us much more power and actually makes our lives easier in the long run.
There are two general kinds of mindsets that decide how you see yourself in this world and what you can or cannot accomplish. One is limiting and ultimately self-degrading, the other one will open more doors than you can ever set foot in.
There are various tricks - new and age-old - being used to shape politics and our opinions every day, on war and peace, on ourselves and our neighbors. Learn to see through the most powerful games media and politicians play, sometimes against each other and often together against everyone else.
Compound interest is a known financial concept which allows us to make a lot of money if we invest a small amount of money over a longer period of time. We can use the same principle in many areas of our lives to create the kind of snowball success that we want.
Life makes us see things in a certain way, behave in a certain way - think inside the box if you will. Magicians, even as they don't really deal in the supernatural, know better. As do politicians, psychologists and pickpockets. Stepping outside the box allows us to see things most people will never see, because they don't understand the outside exists.
The foundations for how we live our lives are not obvious, or strictly speaking rational. There are things that influence how we feel about ourselves in the world that decide how we behave and how much we strive to succeed - much more than our rational thoughts and decisions.
We are supposed to feel good after connecting through social media, and yet looking at your own life afterwards can feel like reading your bank statement after studying the Forbes list. FOMO is something that directly affects how we feel about ourselves and the world, and yet we are only beginning to understand how it works and just how much of an influence it has over us. Here's what social media owners don't want you to know, why "social media" are mostly social in name only, and what to do to actually make them useful to you.
We carry our past limiting beliefs over into our adult lives, without questioning them - because they are mostly unconscious. Typically, this happens from our earliest years all the way to the last days of our lives. The ability (and discipline) to revisit and adjust each one of these beliefs over time can have a dramatically positive effect on your life and all that you do.
Do you know what the Golden Rule is? What about the Platinum Rule? The quality of social relationships with the people around us has a major impact on the life-changing opportunities we encounter, our quality of life, even our life expectancy. As long as we do it on our own terms, we benefit the most when we benefit people the most.
Most of us live cluttered lives of lack of clarity, lots of distractions and of the agendas of other people who have other goals than what's best for us. This episode is about what cleaning up your mental and physical space have in common with special operations training (and Star Trek) and how it can supercharge your clarity and focus in your day to day life.
In western societies we tend to fear death and push it away from sight, often while living lives of unacknowledged fears and anxieties. In other, usually happier and more positive cultures, they accept, even celebrate death. As much as we tend to avoid the fact, accepting our existence as finite can help us become sharper, happier, and much more clear on what matters in our lives.
From the time you were born, you have been creating a blueprint for your later failures and successes. Let's look into the principles involved to change what no longer works for you, adjust what you need, and make sure you're prepared to make your life truly your own.
Life is a journey to explore, to learn from and make your own. As you venture forth, don't forget to enjoy the hills and the valleys, the shade and the sun. Because sometimes you'll stumble, but you’ll always grow in the process.
If you're past early teens and you're still alive, it is very likely thanks to one or more inventions that have been made thanks to science. Physics, to just name one science, is all around us, and yet, we rarely think about it. We don't need to know much, but just grasping the basics can give us more appreciation and can enhance our skills and abilities in the physical world.
There are different kinds of psychological tools that people and companies use to change your opinions, do something they want you to do, or reach for your purse or wallet. Let's learn about some of the most important ones that you can use for good.
We carry a brilliant thought machine with ourselves everywhere we go - one that we can use to make ourselves utterly miserable or to achieve anything we want. Learning how to use it properly in any situation makes all the difference in yours or anyone's life.
Being "woke" is in vogue, for better and sometimes for worse. You can help another person be more included, or you can commit - and be punished for - an act of biased opinion or "micro-aggression" that you never thought was there. This day and age brings new challenges in rightful dealing with serious injustice, sometimes in trying to mend issues that are better solved otherwise, and at times to downright bully people who don't conform.
"Fear of success" is another one of the important challenges that you can face to improve your life and relationships - one that is not so easy to see, and that when dealt with properly can supercharge your life success.
Have you ever felt trapped, or engulfed, in your relationship with your significant other? Fear of Commitment is one of those things we don't usually understand until later in life, after it has done a lot of damage. It is one of the challenges that when tackled well can literally transform your life.
"Quantum healing" in any form is a made-up pseudoscience that allows many charlatans to make a lot of money on your lack of knowledge of the physical world. But can it still work? Technically, yes. Why? The answer lies in the power of your own mind. So, should anyone believe in it? Opinions will vary, but objectively speaking, no. For one thing, any attempt to link these metaphysical practices with actual quantum physics is utter and complete bogus. For another, science shows that the placebo effect - the real effect using these teachings may actually bring despite them being bogus - can work even when you know it's placebo.
Many of us have been taught - often times through naming, shaming, and sometimes being manipulated early in life - to take personally what other people say about us and what we do. This is why the ability to stay cool and take what people have to say as useful information, without being negatively affected by it, is one of the shortest and most enjoyable parts of your path to success.
The thing that will empower you most in your life and work is not self-improvement per se. It's not studying, it's not affirmations, and it's not other people telling you how great you are. It is systematically doing new things, getting real-world feedback and making changes in your performance to get the desired result, no matter what others think. This is a simple, foolproof formula that only the most successful people actually use.
Creativity is one of the gifts that we all get the day we are born. What we do with it makes all the difference in the world. The happy and successful among us will find ways either to keep it alive, or creatively rediscover it.
Cyber crime is on the rise. As vulnerable as our internet ecosystem can become, the mistake you end up paying through the nose for usually happens between the chair and the keyboard. Learn about the tricks cyber criminals use and what you can do to make sure you stay safe.
Have you ever heard the saying "The way you do anything is the way you do everything"? In this episode we'll go beyond the surface of what makes you strong and give you practical tools for you to support yourself in everything you do in life.
Contrary to what we tend to believe, the truest power in relationship comes not from making the other do things for you, but from giving them the love and connection they need, while keeping our passions alive and well.
Fly like Superman, create a whole world of your own, or just have a good night's sleep. A dream can be a great time to do things you can't easily do in your common waking life.
Often times we do the instinctive thing while believing it is the right thing. Then we shut the doors for us to making better decisions and creating better experiences...sometimes for good. The sooner you can take control of your own biases, the sooner you can make happen the things you never thought possible.
Do you ever lie to other people, or to yourself? Do you, in fact, lie a lot? Answering these questions truthfully requires a lot of honesty and integrity because of the bad rep liars get (mostly for a good reason). Even as sometimes lying can be a good thing.
There are different kinds of psychotherapy, but all of them, in the hands of a skilled professional (and sometimes this can be you), are one of the most profound tools that you have to empower yourself.
Starting a new activity - or just doing things differently - every once in a while can change your mental hard-wiring more towards making changes and improvements. Small changes to our day can always make the day more interesting, not to mention more productive and memorable.
Leaders come in all shapes and sizes. While there is no one size that fits all, the best leaders can learn the most useful leadership skills and develop these along with their character.
When things happen that might lead you to feel down, the first order of business often is to get a different perspective. Then the best thing to do usually is to go out and reach out more. After all, our biggest fears usually don't exist in the real world.
How we approach life change says a lot about who we are as people. This is also why it is no surprise that the most successful people - and the happiest ones - tend to be the most open. Understanding your own natural disposition to change can give you an edge in any situation.
We have all been failed in some ways, big and small, in learning how to best use our minds; whether by our parents and peers or by the education system that was supposed to help us make sense of what is going on around us. The way to make things better is to change our perspective - by rekindling our passion for facts, for people, and for the real world.
If you're ready to do some serious soul-searching to improve the relationship with your significant other, hold on to your hat. This episode goes much deeper than your regular relationship advice, but if you stick with it, the lessons learned can be invaluable.
Independence is one of the most valued traits of any successful person. It is also, in more than one way, a myth. While being able to do things efficiently on your own has very real value, independence shines the most as a combination of skills and abilities, and being connected with other people.
Some people seem to have the ability to be in the right place at the right time, as if by luck or magic. Contrary to popular belief, however, luck is rarely involved. All it takes is to learn the principles - to build your own "karma" for success.
Making the best of your "social" time with other people and your "alone" time with yourself are two different things. The one who can master both has a truly great life ahead of them.
Many of us spend more time on our own than we would otherwise choose to these days, and this gives us a great opportunity for self-growth, appreciation, and increasing our clarity of purpose to make our lives a real-world mirror image of our purpose.
What do astronauts and top athletes have in common? Well, there is more, but one of the main things is the way they use their minds. In fact, professionals in any field are trained to exercise the power of their intellects to visualize success, and think about possibilities and contingencies in ways that virtually guarantee their success.
Have you ever known a person who just always has bad things happen to them? Who uses all the tricks their brilliant mind can come up with...to not achieve? Learning how this process works shows us - in a way that is crystal-clear - the mindset that when reversed can transform your life.
Becoming your truest self is by no means an easy task. Fortunately you can have two big allies that will support you on your path. Self-awareness and acceptance will lead you throughout and make the journey the best thing that ever happened to you.
Leaders come in all shapes and sizes, with all kinds of skills and abilities. Yet there is one thing - a profound change in perspective - that all great leaders have in common . This is a quality that if you adopt, will get you very far.
Fear is a natural reaction to unfamiliar things, people, or situations. It is an emotion that has evolved to get us out of danger quickly. It still has this function which one day may save your life. Yet, in many everyday situations it will just hold you back. Learning to be comfortable feeling the emotion can not only do away with its negative effects, it can literally propel you forward to a new level of achievement.
Astronauts are trained to best use all the resources they have, to think on their feet and keep their cool, dealing with any emergency to reach their goal. There are tools and lessons that we can take from that - down to Earth - to always achieve what we want.
What do mental health, learning, and neuro-plasticity have in common? The answer lies in how we approach stress, problems, and life in general.
Most of the health problems people in the developed world have are psychological. We treat them with shiny objects, expensive vacations, and more and more often with drugs - while the healthiest way to make our lives better is often a change of perspective.
Finding life's meaning is one of the things from the "not that easy" category, but while the journey will be unique to each one of us, there are things we can do to make sure we're on the right path.
What if you could read twice as fast and remember better? How about ten times faster with enough retention to go far beyond the gist or the outline? We are living in an age where information is the currency, and being able to absorb knowledge faster is a hugely marketable skill. Let's take a look at how you can use your mind to seriously get ahead.
This is a time when learning the skills for success is the easiest (and in a sense the most difficult) it has ever been. We have perceived limitations and other people's highlight reels to compare with at every step of the way. We also have a whole world of knowledge to draw from to help us make anything happen. While on the journey, there are several key principles to create your ideal life that every successful person makes good use of.
Do you know how to listen to yourself? Do you know what your passion is? Can you create one? What would you like to have written on your tombstone? These are some of the questions that can help you get clear on your life path and fully appreciate the journey.
Living a life of being very honest is in effect one of the more difficult things in life, but one that can bring out (and necessitate) a lot of true respect and appreciation for everything and everyone around you.
There are several principles that scammers of all kinds use to get to our wallets and purses. Learn their tricks of the trade to see deception from a mile away.
Sometimes we feel we sabotage ourselves in what we are trying to achieve. But why would we do that to ourselves? There is really no inner enemy trying to prevent our progress or happiness in life. On the contrary, this is a part of us that we lost touch with that tries to keep us safe and well. By communicating better with it, we can easier get what we want.
Can you stay true to who you want to be in your relationship? Does your significant other help you get closer to this vision, or tries to lead you somewhere else? There are all kinds of relationships that can be beneficial to both of you at various times in both of your lives, but relationship growth is very much about honesty and respect – and these questions can lead you to your true keeper.
There is a fine line between being assertive and being aggressive (or passive-aggressive). The details may differ based on culture, but there are a few simple principles to be followed to improve your ability to deal with people more easily and more efficiently in any situation.
You've heard it before: Your network is your net worth. And it's true. Networking (schmucky business meetings aside) - the ability to quickly and easily connect with other people and make meaningful connections - is truly the skill for life. One that requires personal honesty and respect, and that can enrich and empower your life more than any entrepreneurial success in itself ever could.
Can you easily learn to see every lie coming every single time? Or lie while being interrogated by an FBI agent and get away with it? Probably not, but you can get some of their much prized skills to your advantage - to understand people much better.
On the nature and purpose of humanity, why having a big ego and learning don't match, and what really matters in life.
Believing you deserve - and giving yourself permission - to create the best life for yourself is at the very core of individual and collective achievement. This simple truth is so subtle, so insidious, it is easy to miss or ignore altogether. Yet, it is what allows for your biggest success to come.
There are people who see winning as a zero-sum game. In order for them to win - or feel good about themselves - somebody else has to lose (or at least feel bad). This approach to life is not only unhealthy and immature, it also undermines social relationships and the social structure itself. There are things that can be done, however, to keep growing in almost any social environment.
Covid-19 will be here for awhile. While this is not an encouraging outlook in and of itself, there are important challenges and lessons to be learned. These can lead to individual and society-wide changes that, in the end, can make us stronger.
People love games. This is why various aspects of games are used in all walks of life - especially to get into our purses and wallets. There are some principles of gamification that we can use in our day to day life to achieve goals we otherwise wouldn't even dream of accomplishing.
Communication can be enhanced not only by the right words and the right body language. People process information and communicate in different ways. Understanding the three basic communication types can give you an edge in any situation.
Politics is a part of our lives, for better and for worse. We joke about it, we love it and we hate it. Let's take a closer look at some of the most powerful tricks politicians use to sway our opinions and achieve their goals.
How do you choose your political representative? Do you pick the most interesting political candidate or the boring one? The one who self-confidently tells you all he will do for you, or the one who will present his ideas factually and with humility? Is politics a show for the masses or is it - or should it be - in fact, less than exciting?
Are you an early bird or a night owl? Do you sometimes feel drained and don't know why? There are natural rhythms that influence our activities and performance throughout the day. Learn more about how to make the most of each part of your day, every day.
Memory is just like any other muscle - you either use it or you lose it. Here are some tips and ideas on how memory works and how to remember better.
Our clothes and style have a lot to do with leadership and social status. Let's see how we can use the knowledge of how this works to positively influence others as well as ourselves.
Paradigms have a way of staying put. In society, new ideas typically get ridiculed, then violently opposed, to be finally accepted as self-evident. We have similar mechanisms to protect our own ideas and beliefs from being challenged - even if that challenge can be the best thing that ever happens to us.
Conspiracy theories are a fascinating phenomenon. They touch and exploit something primal inside of us - something that was originally meant to keep us safe through intelligent reading of social cues in small groups where we know people in person and can get objective information to see who's with us and who's against us. The same thing that saved the lives of our ancestors now gets hijacked by social media for profit and misinformation.
On the complexity of real world experience, and why taking personal responsibility and having a balanced perspective go hand in hand.
Try to remember something that happened in your life when you didn't feel any emotion, you'll find it impossible. Learning comes hand in hand with feeling, and it fits right into the structures we already have in our minds to receive it. Knowing this gives you the tools to skyrocket your ability to learn and make it a lot more fun.
When did you last see you nose? Yes, this is a trick question; your nose takes up a large part of your field of vision all the time, but your brain edits it out - just as it does with anything else it deems static or unimportant. Understanding how our perception of reality is formed can give us answers as to how to live more fully and more meaningfully in this ever faster changing world.
While we know it is very important to choose our field of expertise based on the unique mix of our specific talents and abilities, there is a key element that many entrepreneurs miss that is necessary to create a business that actually succeeds.
Mastering your habits is one of the more challenging things you can do in life, and possibly the most useful. There are two sides to this coin; getting to know yourself better and clarifying your goals, and making plans for positive (preferably enjoyable) changes. Whatever crafty little tweak you make can, over time, bring back some serious compound interest.
On being present, on our relationship with the universe, and how being mindful can change our daily lives.
Would you like to live to be 100; or perhaps be immortal? Does longevity matter to you as much as your quality of life? These questions will become increasingly more important as one or both will become real for everyone. Until then, let's see how we can make our 21st century lives the best we can make them with any or all of these life quality tips.
Many of us fear procrastination like the devil himself. Companies and entrepreneurs alike spend tons of money fighting it on a daily basis. But the truth is, procrastination is not nearly the enemy of productivity it is seen to be. In fact, if we understand procrastination for what it is and how it works we can often use it as a worthy ally.
On questions and answers, on the way social media shape our worldviews, and on how a clear, objective way of thinking can benefit us all.
Motivation is at the core of success, happiness and enjoyment. It is what makes all of these possible. This episode is on how to build intrinsic motivation, which you can maintain whether or not outer conditions favor you.
I recorded this episode on the first day of my country's official coronavirus quarantine. This one is on how to reach out and socialize - and make the best of things, even when you are legally barred from physically meeting people.
As the saying goes: "When everybody around you is freaking out, you become calmer." A crisis is a trial by fire, a time to show what we are made of, and a hidden opportunity to make progress in various areas of our lives.
Some things we don't think about much before they happen to us. And when they do, it pays more than anything else to stay cool, positive and prepared.
Most failure is not what we feel it in our gut to be. Let's explore the concept and reality of failure and why failure is very often the best thing that can happen to us.
Being the stronger one in a fight is about something different than what most people think. This concept can be easier understood than done in practice, but when mastered will make you invincible.
We are perfect, each one of us - and yet we can do better. On habits, triggers and how to create the best version of your life.
There is a tug of war in our minds between forces that encourage us go out and do things, or lay low and try to stay safe. The paradox is, while playing it safe used to be the reasonable thing to do in the past, it doesn't really make us safe anymore, let alone successful or happy.
Who doesn't like to be right, and to show people? Unfortunately, the way many people relate to others has very little to do with communication. True communication is more about being responsible and genuinely interested in your audience than in swaying people's opinions. In this episode you will find some ideas to help you on your way to becoming an expert communicator.
Fiction is a fascinating thing. It allows us to experience things we often cannot experience in real life. The main point of any good fiction is change and evolution - to get us and the protagonist closer to who we really are and who we want to be. Let's explore the paradigms that lead to change in the act of creating fiction, using here as a template a well-received piece of fiction I wrote almost seven years ago.
Game Theory is a study of interpersonal strategy for individual achievement. Something, you might think, that really pays to play well.
There are different ways in which we communicate, mostly nonverbally, with the people who are special to us; specific "love languages" that we can learn to speak to truly make a difference in relationships with our significant others.
Like with any other bias, believing is seeing with the Cultural Bias - causing us to see other cultures as underdeveloped, primitive, or just plain weird. Let's take a step back to get a perspective in our dealings with people and cultures.
The Scientific Method is a way to go out of your way to eliminate biases and pre-conceived notions which so easily lead us astray. In this day and age - of social media celebrities giving us their opinions about anything and everything - we can benefit greatly from learning how to think in a way that is unbiased, informed and objective.
There's no clear, cookie-cutter recipe to being our best selves. Sometimes we can take bits and pieces from the people we like and respect the most, but how we mold our experience, our values and our idea of self is truly where the magic happens.
Have you ever learned about something and thought you made the change you wanted to make but you didn't? You got hyped up, excited, and then nothing happened? There are tons of self-help workshops and seminars which use this tactic as a marketing model to make profit. This is not the way to learn. True change only comes with true learning.
There have been special people - artists and scientists - who left a mark on our civilization over millennia. Can you become one of them? Understanding their life stories can give you the clues.
The "Peter Pan (or Eternal Boy) Syndrome" is a curious condition that afflicts adult men in their relationships with women and with themselves. Looking into it can answer questions about one's priorities and preferences in life partner, and help integrate your source of inner strength.
Do you believe that making money and fun don't go together? That working for money has to be hard? Think about why. Reflect and change. Work smart.
Sometimes we think we really want something, but strangely, no matter what we do, we can't get it - and we can't see why. To get the real answers, we need to look beneath the surface.
Psychology can be a strange field indeed; vague, and sometimes cold and clinical. Fortunately, there's also the branch of Positive Psychology, which aims for us not only to not be sick, but to live at your best - to make your life worth living.
The human mind is subject to many biases that affect our perception without us knowing it. Some of these biases are useful, others can literally ruin our chances to make positive changes and become our best selves.
Emotions are our biggest ally. They have been here for millions of years to help us survive, and now they can help us achieve our goals. In business or in personal life, it is the emotionally smart person who gets the farthest.
Have you ever had someone tell you: "You’re projecting"? Have you said this to another person? Let's look into a powerful psychological defense mechanism and what it does for us and to us on a daily basis.
The Nice Guy Syndrome, or the "If only I were nicer to people" syndrome, is caused by an inability to achieve one's own goals. It has to do with boundaries and agendas; and getting rid of it is the best thing any man can do for himself.
The places where we spend most of our time have a powerful influence on how we feel and how we think about ourselves. Often times a small change can have a profound influence on reaching our goals.
Nobody likes a toxic person - they are obnoxious and tend to be notoriously hard to deal with. This episode comes as a comprehensive way to identify a toxic person, how to understand where they are at and how to deal with them. A pro tip: take it with a grain of salt, or even, see if you can identify a "toxic" trait in yourself that you can work on getting rid of.
There is a pattern in stories of adventure and coming of age present throughout centuries and cultures, which holds the key to becoming our ideal self. Learn about the pattern and stages in the development of a hero in you.
There are many false arguments that people make when trying to exert influence over you and other people. Many of these arguments can be broken down into several categories of fallacies, or non-arguments, which you can then reveal for what they are and easily disprove. Let's take a closer look at some of the most often used ones.
We have a drive inside of us to create momentum, stronger than our conditioning, stronger even than our willpower. We can use our momentum to help us get to our goals. Let's talk about how it works and how to use it to get what we want in life.
Let's look at a skill that can truly make a difference in more ways than you might think.
ROI is an important financial tool used to make sure what you invest in is worth your while. Let's see how, as a general concept, it also applies for many other things in life.
We are surrounded by social media without fully understanding how they work - and how they set us up. Let's take a closer look at some of the ways they influence us and how to use them so they work for us and not against us.
There are three basic parts of our psyche. Do you know which they are and how to use them?
Take a good look at all the tiers that make up human experience and see which matter to you the most today and which tomorrow.
Being a leader is one of the most valued skills you can have....in crises as well as in everyday situations.
Most of us have an idea of what healthy food should look like, and what to eat throughout the day - and still we find it challenging to truly make a difference. To be healthier or lose weight. Here comes a simple plan that makes both of it easier.
Do we see evidence of God's existence? Is it possible that we are living in a multiverse...or in a simulation? The age-old question revisited for the modern age.
In the modern day and age, with so many things going on, it is easy to believe that we don't have enough time to do all we want, or need, to do. Fortunately, there is a cure. It is called effective time management.
Self-Discipline is the vehicle that gets us to our goal. Taking responsibility for all aspects of our lives is the key in the ignition that makes it all possible.
Negative self-talk tends to repeat. Usually, we only have a handful of automated thought patterns that we formed when we were growing up. This is why it is especially useful to recognize the triggers, the patterns, and finally choose our new reaction and behavior.
One of the best things you can do for yourself (possibly the best) is invest into your health. Here are some ideas to consider to make yourself both happier and more productive as a result.
We know that leaders are often not truly self-made (at least not quite, remember the shoulders of giants). Yet these people have a rare ability when it comes to making decisions. They can consciously look at what other people are doing en masse and then they make a decision to go against the flow. It usually involves a lot of figuring out what the right course might be, but the fact itself that they can do something totally different from the rest of the crowd is very significant. The ability to consciously choose your direction where most people follow (and rationalize afterward), coupled with learning from the best, is the trademark of a true leader.
Fear of death is the one thing that influences many of us the most in life. Because we don't often talk about it, or consider death part of our lives, this fear (which has the important function of keeping us alive) is now mostly unconsciously controlling us. Often times it's only when we face our own mortality (and fully accept it) that we become clear on what truly matters to us. Then we become free to pursue it.
We typically don't make big changes just by deciding to make them when we don't have a clear vision. We evolve as our perspective evolves, which brings change almost (but not quite) as an afterthought. When you realize things are different from what you used to think, you can't quite go back. Then growth and change are almost inevitable. This is why continuous learning is so important.
Sometimes we think if we don't plan, we'll make our lives more interesting and spontaneous (and there is a point to this). Yet it is very useful to have the general direction of your life planned and clarified - so that you can make unexpected turns at life junctions and enjoy any detours without ever losing your direction.
On compartmentalization, why being busy and being productive are not the same thing and how to get into flow state.
Most people are afraid to be truly passionate, and truly honest. Let's explore why that is and why changing it is one of the most important things to improve our lives.
People have been using body language as the primary means of communication since the beginning of humankind. We also often use language as a means of distracting ourselves and each from what's really going on. Let's explore what this means in practice.
We can usually do our best and have the biggest influence when we focus outside. When we take ourselves out of the equation and consider the whole situation, that's where our true power lies.
Do you remember when you were a small child, things seemed easy, all people friendly, and the world a wonderful place to explore? There lies your source of authenticity and creative power. Let's see if we can get more of it back.
Do you know what makes a pessimist, or an optimist? Our minds sometimes seem to have minds of their own and this is why learning more about how yours works can be one of the most useful ways to improve your quality of life. You can use the same principles that make some people pessimistic in reverse to dramatically increase your understanding of yourself and make your future ever brighter.
Breathing is one of the most important aspects of our lives that we pay little attention to...until we realize just how much it affects us in our day to day lives.
Great power lies in being honest and respectful. Can you do both when the stakes are high?
Exploring new things and socializing are the best predictors of life success and satisfaction. Do what it takes to make yours a certainty.
Do you prefer drama or comedy?
Most people like to spend a lot of time resting and "tuning out". This can often be natural and healthy. Yet, our leisure time can support us on our path if it helps us see new possibilities or ask the right questions.
Our relationships with other people are a reflection of how we care about ourselves. That's why we first need to build solid foundations.
There are things which can significantly improve the quality of your life and life success. Best of all, they don't have to take any of your time...
Every one of us has our own lens through which we see ourselves and the world. Get to know yours better to make sense of, enrich and perfect your life path.
Building social relationships is the key to success, power and happiness. Do you reach out to people far enough?
There are things we do as a habit. Here are three general ideas for you to use which will make your day greater both in the short and long term.
Each one of us is unique. Learning what your own gift is can make all the difference in your life and career.
Aside from the morning meditation, it can be very beneficial to stop for a moment and reconnect. These are three quick and simple ways of doing just that.
Research shows optimism is the key trait to be successful in life. Let's use proven techniques to get more of it.
On how emotions and habits work and why habits are crucial to make easy and lasting changes in your life.