Valley Guides: Recent Episodes
Greg Dyche
I guide people through valleys. Through combination of personal insight, great books, and a lot of been-there-done-that, I share tactics and ideas to get through the valley. The valley is the struggle to get from where you are to where you want to be. Together we can get there. Join for a fun look at how to improve and strive to get better. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/greg-dyche/support
99 days. My odd experiment is coming to an end. Tomorrow is the last episode. Today, I thought I begin to reflect on what’s happened, maybe a part 1. I didn’t want to talk about something I’ve already posted, like so many of the podcasts. I wanted something new for today, so I’m starting with a blank sheet, and I’m going to see where this leads.
Emotions have played a larger role in my experiment than anything physical or mental. I didn’t lack skill, time, or money. The skill level required is minimum. I just did the best I can do. The time wasn’t much. The article and podcast took about 20 to 45 minutes depending on the day. The exercise was only 150 seconds. Money wasn’t required. Anchor.fm and LinkedIn are both free, and I already had the microphone.
The experiment was an emotional rollercoaster. The last week has been an all-time low, and I would have predicted it to be an all-time high. I thought I would be excited to be at the end, but I was almost angry at the futility of a few more days. Somehow I thought I had learned all that I would learn, but in the middle of that thought, realizing I was still learning how to finish when the fun was gone.
It’s about the finishing, even when it isn’t fun. It’s okay to switch of course, but only for real reasons, not for emotions. I’m not happy about emotions playing such a large role. I feel cornered somehow by my desire to have my emotions aligned with my objectives. Why do I “want” to relax, veg, read for fun, hang out? None of those activities are bad in the right context and allotment. I’m not saying to work all day and never relax. Actually, I believe being with the ones you care about is more important than any experiment. The point is what type of person do you want to be for the ones you care about. I know someone that lies often. He’ll exaggerate and explain away mistakes. I find him untrustworthy. I don’t value his friendship much. He’s not the type of person I aspire to be. I don’t think he’s the type of person he aspires to be, but maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know him well enough to say, but I can use him as a hypothetical to examine my own thinking. Is it possible he’s too busy with the mundane and immediate that he can’t take the time to ponder something long term and valuable? Could he be addicted to the easy road? I know first steps in any direction is a good indicator of the next step and direction. I like to say firsts beget seconds. If I read, I’m more likely to read. If I eat junk food, I’m more likely to continue to eat junk food. If I walk a little, I’m more likely to walk a lot. In this real sense, I can be aware of beginnings and set a course for a beautiful ending.
I haven’t really found my tribe yet. I have a few very dear friends that are worth the world to me. I’m not talking about that tribe. I’m talking about my hobby of investigating will power, decisions, and habits. I’m still searching. If you know anyone I should know, please connect us. If you are someone who finds this type of thing interesting, please let me know.
This isn’t an end. Tomorrow is my last episode for this experiment, and I will close tomorrow the same way I’m going to close today, to be continued.
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Where is work? It’s not a place. It’s an effect.
Stephen Ambrose in Nothing Like It In the World (page 130-131) tells a story about General Dodge's philosophy. “He [General Dodge] toured the country and had every soldier on the Platte in the saddle instead of by a fire in the stockades. Shortly, the general manager of the Overland Telegraph notified Washington that telegraphic communication had been resumed from the Missouri River to California. Grant wired him a query: “Where is Dodge?” The general telegraphed back, 'Nobody knows where he is, but everybody knows where he has been.'”
I can think of a better complement.
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Schedule it.
That's the best time management advice I can give summed up in one bumper sticker. Sure there's more we can talk about, but if you only remember one thing, schedule it.
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Have you ever stressed because you don't have enough time in the day? I hope so, and that's a good thing. I believe you can use this to your advantage.
Do you normally start out strong and relax a little as the day progresses? I hope so; you can use this to your advantage.
Boundaries and restrictions, like 24 hours a day, force innovation and creativity. One of my favorite movie quotes is from Platoon, "There's the way things should be and the way things are." When we talk about change in a corporate sense, we are trying to move from the way things are to the way things should be.
To paraphrase a quote by Bernard Shaw "At every dog fight, the owner knew which dog would win. When asked how he knew, he explained it was easy. He feed one dog and starve the other." I experienced the benefit of feeding the wining-dog firsthand. About 20 years ago, I sold service at a local car dealership. I was measured by how many hours my technicians were able to charge per customer visit. On days with less factory-paid warranty work, I'd have a higher average repair hour number. I told my boss that I couldn't control what warranty work would come through the door. He agreed and told me to book more customer-paid work, and I wouldn't have room for so much factory-paid work. I had to feed the dog I wanted to win.
Change requires a feeding plan. You must identify the behaviors required to adopt the new way of life, the way things should be and make a plan to encourage, require, or gamify those behaviors. Since we know our will power is stronger early in the day and wanes thin as the day progresses, we need to go big and go early with the desired changes. If you fill the day with the actions you want, you'll run out of time for the other actions.
Of course, this isn't easy. Of course, there are key behaviors. Of course, there's more to change than just a feeding plan. My point is that you must have feeding plan in addition to the other change activities.
What do you think?
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Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/greg-dyche/support
Definitions are powerful. What's your definition of success?
As a parent, my definition of success is simple. I have 6 kids now, and I formed this definition years before I had kids. I would add so much to it if we were discussing parenting today, but I still think it holds as a decent definition.
I'm the child of a teenage pregnancy. I've heard lots of stories about the hardships and struggles. I've seen a few as I got old enough to understand. I guess this is why growing up I considered teenage pregnancy such a burden. This type of mistake carries a lot of fear. Young people have a tendency to continue hiding a mistake, hoping it will somehow go away. I too was young once (long time ago), and I remember clearly thinking the world was against me. I had to do it myself. This type of thinking is dangerous. As we know now as older adults, a lot of harm can be avoided if we get help early and often. My definition of success as a parent is "Can my daughter come to me and say, 'Dad, I'm pregnant.'"?
As a leader, my definition is very similar. Does the team live in fear of failure? Do they hide mistakes, sweep mistakes under the rug, or think they'll make up for it next time? Remember the $2 Billion mistake JPMorgan suffered? Jamie Dimon explains in an interview how the mistake could have been so much smaller had the team admitted earlier what had happened. What's my definition of success as a team leader? Does the team come to me earlier and often to check in on mistakes? Do they trust that we'll push each other hard, hold each other to high levels of accountability, and still realize we have to take risks? Does the team believe we have each other's back?
What about the success definition as a seller? “Let's call Greg.” -- not “Let's look for a solution, or let's shop around.” Even if I don't have the product they need, I'll still help explore a solution. My definition of success as a seller is “Am I top of mind to the customer?”. Do they trust me enough to call early and say, "Hey, we're thinking about X." or "We have a problem. Not sure you can help, but we thought we'd start with you."
In life? My definition is a bit odd. I've always pictured a loud, chaotic, colorful Christmas. Too many gifts. Too much food. Kids everywhere. Laughter. Time together. As Inky Johnson says, it's we not I.
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How I wish we were face-to-face. We could talk like humans. We could trade ideas, extend our views, challenge our assumptions, and even become friends. I think it was Newton that said we stand on the shoulders of the giants that came before us. Day to day we can stand on the ideas of our peers much like you see the obstacle course racers scale a wall with the help of their team. We need each other more than ever to tackle the problems of the day.
I love to learn. And after I’ve learned anything, I can’t help but share with anyone that will listen. This morning while driving to an appointment I was thinking about KPIs, metrics, and gut intuition. Malcolm Gladwell in his book, Blink, tells us we should trust intuition more than we think. Over time experts can become very good at intuition. Daniel Kahneman in his book, Thinking - Fast and Slow, explains what we consider intuition is really just pattern matching over time. Either way it’s a judgement call. What I find interesting is my behavior with google maps and my intuition -- and how I discount for risk.
On each morning drive I get to choose between a slightly faster interstate drive or a drive through town. Depending on the time of day and destination, it can be 5 to 15 min difference in the choice. Maybe 60% of the time, I’ll check google maps for traffic and base my decision on that metric or KPI; however, the trips I remember are the ones where I didn’t check google maps and the traffic on the interstate delays me excessively. This happens maybe 1 out of 20 trips. I don’t know for sure since I don’t track it; however, the negative experience weighs so heavily in my mind that I’ve learned to not trust the interstate.
This is how most people discount for risk. They might not use that phrase, but I discount the time saved by interstate travel by a factor equal to what I consider the risk of traffic. If this was a project and I was using a financial model to determine to go or no-go, I’d discount the project outcome in the same way. It’s a gut-intuition call.
What if I had used metrics? KPIs? Google maps is a very good KPI for my travel time. It is true that I could start out with a clear interstate and an accident could happen that would change the prediction. Remember past results are no indication of future returns. I could have traveled the interstate for weeks and today would be the day I would miss the important meeting.
Like most managers, I discount more if the risk is higher. Let’s say I was on my way to an interview for a job. I’d leave earlier and drive through town, regardless of what google might predict. The risk is too high.
Here’s the point: use KPIs and metrics routinely for everyday decisions at work. Don’t trust how it normally is. Evidence based decisions are real and getting cheaper by the minute. As the algorithms improve, we’ll trust them more, but remember to discount for risk. It’s still your responsibility to make the right call. You can’t blame the model or the machine or the computer.
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Sunday, November 1, 2020 Update
Hello again. It’s Sunday. Time for an informal update on the 100 Day Challenge. We are down to the wire. A week from today, and it’s all over. So far, I’ve missed exercise on 1 day. I have recorded a podcast and wrote the accompanying blog every day for the last 93 days.
I keep thinking about day 101. What do I do? Do I keep going? Doesn’t feel right. I might have something to learn from a forced break. I could lose the handful of people that actually listen.
Am I going to begin a different 100 Day Challenge? I think I am; I must. Knowing what it means to stick to something, even a small something for 100 Days, causes me to weigh my selection carefully. What will the return be on the attention invested? What type of gains do I wish to see?
I’ll continue something with health and something creative. I’ll add something about growth, like learning a new topic. I’ve wondered if I should shoot for the moon and discover the grit required to stick it out, or do I stay with a reachable goal that adds up to nice rewards. The past 100 have been very easy as far as the tasks are concerned. The podcast has surely suffered at times being forced to a daily production, but I am happy with the output. My exercise was so simple to be embarrassing, and yet I am more flexible and stronger than I’ve been in a long time.
Everyone talks about swing for the fence or out working everyone else. Of course, I don’t disagree, but I’m more interested in the small nuance of change. What’s the minimum I can alter and get a desired improvement? I could start with goals like run a marathon, lose 50 pounds (yes, I weigh 240 at 5’9’’), make a million dollars. These goals might be unreachable or seem like it. But I could back up and wonder what type of person I would need to be and what type of things would that person do each and every day. Make a list of those tasks and find a bare minimum that would move me toward my goal. Based on the philosophy that something each day is far better than nothing or a medium size chunk every once in a while. The best activities aren’t much use if done once every couple of weeks. I can’t run a few miles once a month and expect much from it. I can’t fast 1 day a month and see a lot of gain. I can’t write all day every 90 days and get anywhere. I’m far better off to run for 1 min a day, stop eating after 6pm, and write for 10 min. This is what I’m talking about.
3 areas to improve for me:
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Body
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Mind
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Skill
Hard to separate mind and skill, but I’m talking about a healthy habit for the mind like creating or building versus a tactical skill like writing, singing, programming. I’ll keep working on what’s next, and I’m building a process to pick the goal, find the habits, and begin with tiny actions.
Right size fits all. Send me an email if you’d like to join me. Starts Monday, November 9th, 2020 and ends February 17th, 2021.
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Do you believe physical weight is relative? Does 50 pounds weigh the same for everyone? I know on a scale, we might agree, but in practice, is 50 pounds just as easy for a 1st-grader to pick up as it is for a high school senior? Of course not.
Do you believe emotional weight is relative? Can I handle the same emotional trauma that everyone else can handle? Maybe I can handle less; maybe I can handle more, but we can all agree we don’t each handle it the same. I might cry like a baby during an aircraft emergency where a trained pilot would become alert and get into action. I might yawn when the school calls and says my kid was hurt where some other parent might find it difficult to drive safely to school.
I think we can become sensitized to emotional strain. I’m sure a nurse’s first day in ER is a little tougher than six months down the road. Our minds have a way of shutting out information when we have too much to handle. Over time we can become familiar with some details and notice more. This takes practice, and we can be trained to focus on the key information.
My point is we don’t all behave the same under pressure, and we can’t expect everyone to be the same. We can’t transfer our expectations onto someone else. Sometimes I don’t even understand why something gets to me when I don’t think it should. We are complex.
Einstein said something like, “We are all geniuses, but you can’t judge a fish by its ability to climb trees.”
Often those of us in the technology world ask too much of everyone else. We expect people to understand how to use our tools when we can't possibly understand theirs. I remember wondering why a nurse wasn't better at using the software at the hospital until I saw her with a patient. It was by the patient’s bed that I realized how silly IT was when asking her to learn a cumbersome tool. It was up to us to make the tool easier to use; otherwise, we were taking care away from patients.
We all have a limited amount of time and energy, and we can only focus on one thing at a time. When we ask a teacher to wrestle with a learning management system and fill out stacks of tracking paperwork, we steal attention intended for a child.
In my world of technology, we all too often take away from the real work that needs to be done. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard about the “stupid users”. The “users” are people trying to help customers, clients, patients, or kids. These people are trying to solve real problems, and the tools shouldn’t distract them. Don’t judge the “user” by their ability to play with computers.
How do you feel when the physician is speaking to a loved one about a serious condition, and you can’t understand what’s being described? Or less importantly, how about when an auto mechanic is describing what’s wrong with your car? We all have our world, our context, and we need to respect the other person’s turf.
Try it and let me know how it goes.
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Today’s question is simple. What comes first the decision or the question? Do I decide to act or question my current state first? I think the question must come first, and the decision is the answer. Everything seems to come down to a question and a decision. I questioned if I should skip today. I decided I should not skip. What type of guy records 90 days in a row and skips on day 91? Not me. I am not a hero. I frequently want to skip. The decision to keep going has reinforced itself over the past 90 days, and I have a little boost in my will power. The fear of quitting actually helps me keep going.
I’ve been reading more about questions. I stumbled upon a book on interviewing by Dean Nelson called “Talk to Me”. I haven’t read enough to say it’s a good book or not, but I have read enough to appreciate what he is trying to do. I look forward to reading more. He’s trying to describe how to conduct a good interview. It seems similar to selling. First, he has to know why he’s conducting the interview. What’s the point? Who would care? He places emphasis on being transparent, honest and the work to prepare. I couldn’t say it better myself. I’m sure I’m going to learn more from the book. I’ll update everyone as I do.
How I wish we could have a conversation, a two-way dialogue. I don’t mean for my podcast. I mean for both of us to think through problems and maybe improve a little. I was training the other day, and the presenter said, “Shared problems are solved quicker.” Reminds me of a saying, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” What problems could we work on together?
My favorite job I’ve ever had was an IT manager position. It wasn’t fancy, but every day I went to work wondering how to make the life of the team a little better. Could we get better at our jobs? Could we be more reasonable about our planning and expectations? I couldn’t give raises, so I had to search for other ways to make the job worth having. I decided to create a learning environment. If you came to work at our company, you would gain skill to make a better living. If you got so good that I couldn’t afford you, then that was a great problem. I would help you find a better paying job somewhere else, and if at all possible, I’d hire you back if it didn’t work out. For a while, I think our work world did improve. We’d take 90 min on Friday afternoon to teach each other a technical topic. We were growing as a team. It didn’t last, but that’s a different story. Change doesn’t stop. No such thing a status quo. You can’t get back the way things were. You need to keep going. Good came from the short-lived experiment, and I would do it again even knowing the same result would occur.
I guess I’m still trying to recreate that scenario. Like Johnny Appleseed I keep spreading plants hoping they’ll take root, and a new orchard will be found. By the way, Johnny Appleseed was most likely making alcohol from his apples, but that’s a different podcast.
I asked my students “What do you want to be remembered for?” I love to read the answers. I get a sense of who they really are. What we want to be remembered for is a story that we want to tell about ourselves. When we are doing well, we live out those stories on a stage. The audience is how we think everyone sees us. It’s important to remember the audience is not in charge. We are. We are the director and lead actor all rolled into one.
I want to give Life-Stones instead of tombstones. A Life-Stone would have inscribed a sentence of what I want to be remembered for, and I wouldn’t wait till I was dead. I would look at it every day, and I would measure myself against it. What would your Life-Stone read? I want mine to read, “He led us through the valley.” I realize it’s a bit grandiose, and I know I fall short most days. It is the story I’m trying to live out. It’s the story I want told. What’s your story? Call me sometime and we can talk.
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Are you a believer? Do you live your life as a believer? I’m guessing many of you are thinking about God, and that’s probably the most important question you’ll have to answer, but it’s not what I’m asking now. I’m asking about the power of belief, faith. What do you believe about normal life, day to day work? My favorite line from Coach Flower’s half-time, football pep-talk is, "Belief will rule my world.” He’s right. When I’m not doing what I think I should be doing, I have to ask myself, “What do I really believe?”
In my favorite sci-fi movie Serenity, the lead character asks why he should be afraid, "Because he's a believer. He's intelligent, methodical and devout in his belief ..." That’s what I’m asking. Are you intelligent, methodical and devout in your belief?
We all believe in many things. It’s what we choose to believe that matters. Do you believe? Are you sold? Did you buy first? If you haven’t bought, if you don’t believe, how can you expect others to want what you have. If you don’t really believe you are worth it, neither will the teacher, HR interviewer, new boss, or client.
Faith is a choice, often based on first impressions. It’s in your favor to work for a good first impression. Could you lose few pounds, dress a little nicer, shine your shoes, show up a bit early, be prepared? Once an initial choice to have faith, to believe is made, it grows in power through evidence over time. Do you do what you say you are going to do? Trust is what we call this powered faith. Trust is hard to build and so easy to lose.
Faith comes from hearing and hearing and hearing -- what we call marketing. If you want to sell more, if you want to grow, first you must make a choice to believe.
Zig Ziglar often said that he'd listen to a motivational tape every day. You can make a quick decision to believe for professional reasons, but it takes time to become familiar and truly convince yourself. If you sense yourself wavering, doubting, questioning, then dig in and learn. Become the guide your client is looking for and save them time, money, and headaches.
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Do you save for a rainy day? I always live with the feeling it might rain, and I need to prepare. Might sound like a good idea, but it does take away a little fun from the sunny days. Are you preparing for rain? Are you doing the work needed to reduce or mitigate risk? Are you maintaining processes and machine as you should?
Are you afraid to risk it? How many of us know to change our oil every 3,000 miles? Of course, we don't often say that's the "more severe" schedule as my car's owner's manual describes it. The other schedule is 7,500. As a nation, I can only imagine how much money is wasted due to over maintaining our vehicles. I'm not writing to ask you to delay your next oil change. I'm writing to talk about the idea of deferment and the art of pushing it to the limit to maximize profits.
I was reading the Union Pacific: The Reconfiguration: America's Greatest Railroad from 1969 to the Present by Maury Klein and it describes a battle between operation and staff at headquarters. Operations continually wanted to perform maintenance on the track and headquarters wanted to delay in order to save money. The problem isn't simple. Can you delay? Yes - naturally. But for how long and how many times? Certainly, there's a point where it's too expensive to recover from deferred maintenance and just as certainly money is wasted from too frequent maintenance.
One of my favorite authors, Nassim Taleb, asks the best question. How many white swans does it take to prove all swans are white? How many black ones does it take to prove you're wrong? How many safe bridge crossings does it take to prove deferring maintenance was a wise choice? How many unsafe bridges does it take to prove you are wrong?
Pursuing profits creates too create of risks in some situations and regulation steps in for the greater good, take aircraft for example or DOT regulations for trucking. Without restraint we arrive we were in 2007 and again today – corporation are too big to fail and can’t be held accountable. I don’t like regulation either, but it’s the guard rails for short-term thinking and used correctly, rules protect the greater good. We are never free from responsibility.
When taking finance classes during my MBA program, we were taught that bankruptcy is just the price of doing business. We were taught to leverage as far as possible, meaning borrow as much money as possible to expand as far as possible. In theory, this means you capture as much money as you can while you can. In practice, it runs the risk sky high and leaves the mess for taxpayers to clean up. It should be the stockholders, but that’s the beauty of too big to fail. The company leadership and stockholders do fine. The cost is spread across the entire economy. I feel I drifted a bit too political; wasn’t my intent.
I was really interested in deferred maintenance vs. a well-maintained environment, and the art of knowing the difference. It seems to settle in on beliefs. Do you believe clever software can track all conditions and predict a maintenance schedule? The trouble is with the word, “all”. I do believe software can help, but we can't forget Taleb’s Black Swans hide in every situation.
And I only change my oil about very 6000 miles - more due to forgetfulness than cleverness.
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Daily Checklist
I have an appointment each morning. It's my daily checklist. Reminds me to do what I intend to do and not just start looking at email. I set outlook to open on my calendar and not my inbox. Here's a sample:
- Morning Pep Talk. It's a link to a google doc containing a commercial by me and about me. It's a over the top and ridiculous, and it helps get me going.
- 10 min meditation on "How to do my job better?".
- Review my Project list
- Review my calendar for the week - do I need to prep for anything.
- Do I have a Two-do list? What's the two things I need to get done today?
- Scan my Important, Not-urgent list (thank you Steven Covey)
- Triage email -- don't bother sorting everything, just pick out emergencies.
- Look at tasks in Outlook
- Review sales numbers
Environmental Enrichment
When I was selling cars back in the 90s, I shared an office with a depressing guy. He showed up late to work, left early and complained about management the whole time he sat at the desk. He would figure out how many hours he worked, divide by the little commission he made, and whine that he was paid less than minimal wage. Try as I might he wore me down. His negative attitude was poisonous, and the day he was fired my stats started to improve. I was like an animal at the zoo. With a gloomy environment, I paced back and forth in my cage with a distant, blank stare. I've learned over time that Environmental Enrichment is required.
What can you do to help you immediate surroundings? Keep your area clean? Bring in some flowers? Kid's art work? Maybe aroma therapy? Favorite saying on a poster. Move your desk, so you aren't engage in conversation with anyone that walks by. You can find ways to make improvements, even if they are very small.
Playlist
No negative music. Depressing, dark music is great if you are Batman, but it doesn't help sell anything. Scrub your playlist and have only your favorite tunes.
Why me commercial
I mentioned this above in my daily checklist. I have a short word doc that shouts from the rooftops why I am the best choice for the job. It's only meant for me, and it would be embarrassing if it got out, but I have to admit that it helps. I can't help but smile and feel like I have an important job to do.
10 min to make my job better
This one has been surprising. So simple and powerful. It helps me focus on what I need to do most and forces me to define my job. If you want to get better at your job, you first need to really understand what your job is. Not what your title might suggest, but what do you actually do?
What tips do you use?
thanks, g
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Did you prepare? Did your preparation have a goal, a purpose? Maybe you had a test in school? A sales-call on a client? An interview for a new job? An interview of a magazine article or online blog? A prospecting phone call? One thing all of these situations have in common is preparation. We celebrate the result, and the results do matter, but have you heard the saying, “What gets measured gets done, so be careful what you measure?”
If you mainly emphasize results, you over emphasize luck and win at all cost. I think we can agree these attitudes led to Enron, Worldcom, and too-big-to-fail financial crisis. What if we emphasize the preparation, celebrate a well-prepared effort? I’m sure the cynic in the room would still sneer and say, “who cares?”. I do believe if you focused on the preparation, then you could build a predictable, repeatable process. People like us, prepare like this.
The culture at work could center around hard work, preparation, and checklists. You could reduce your reliance on luck. You could predict the odds of winning based on the degree of preparation.
For a job interview, I could ask if your resume and cover letter are unique to this position? Did you think up STAR stories that fit this company’s expectations? STAR is a story model that stands for: Situation, Task, Action, Result. The key is the result. Did you prepare 3 to 5 great result stories that highlight your experience? Did you have an answer to, “Tell me about yourself?”, or are you just going to wing it?
What about a test in school? Did you make flashcards a few days in advance and have the definitions, formulas, concepts down cold? Did you practice application? Read the material? Review with a classmate? Granted a lot depends on the subject, but I believe we all agree steps can be taken to be ready. You will have dozens of tests, and you can add preparation steps as you learn from mistakes.
What about interview questions? Can questions be prepared in advance? Can you have written the story in advance and then organized questions that would be needed for the story to unfold? Can you frame the questions better? Much like I’m asking now? What has to be true for you to do better tomorrow than you did last time? How did you plan to prepare? What special steps did you take to give yourself the advantage? Do you rely on hard work or luck? How do you measure the level of work? What have you learned over the years that can help others chase their dreams like you did?
Even producing this podcast has me energized for tomorrow. What can I do tonight before bed to setup tomorrow morning for success? What price am I willing to pay? What’s too much? Am I willing to forego a little sleep? Should I be sleep deprived? Can I control the day? What’s more in my favor the first hour or two or the last couple of hours? When a day goes wrong what has normally been the reason? What can I do this time to avoid the most common reasons?
I’m going to go out on a limb and claim few days have surprises? Some do, but it’s few. Plan for the majority of the days without surprises and in most cases, you can forgive yourself when you do get a surprise – the first time. The second time you should know better. Do you learn? Are you capable of learning? I don’t believe in natural born anything, but I do know some people have to put in more effort over a longer period of time to get the same result as others. Look in the mirror and be honest. The answer is acceptable. You must know where you are to get where you want to go. Does this make sense? Start small, start now and don’t quit.
Come with me. I have big plans for Nov 9th! Day 101.
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Who cares about a 100 Day Challenge? I mean it was just a made-up bet to myself. All I win is a sense of accomplishment. Today is day 86, and how I think about the challenge today is alien from how I thought about it on day 1. For one thing, I didn’t believe I’d still be searching for a job. I actually was worried a new job would get in the way of the podcast. That would be a good problem to have. Some problems we like to complain about are actually good to have. I haven’t been perfect. I guarded against failure by making the goal easy to achieve, but I missed exercising one day. I made it to day 80 without missing a day. You know what? I learned a valuable lesson. Get the important work done first. The day can get away from you. Eat dessert first. Life is uncertain. I've had a hard week. On a scale from 1 to 10, I would have rated it a 7 or 8. And then I got the news a friend of mine heard she has breast cancer. My week went to a 3 or 4. Changing perspective is key. At times, the change is forced upon me like a message from a friend about her breast cancer. Sometimes I need to force the change upon myself. When forced proactively, I need frame the situation or reframe if needed. How I ask questions of myself become very important. The self-talk can be deadly. Next week I’ll think about self-talk, framing, asking questions, and narrowing in my focus. I’ve noticed I’m not making progress on all the fronts I’ve engaged. I need to shelf some agendas to make room for the few that are important. So, what’s changed since day 1? How do I think about the 100 Day Challenge now? At day 10, I panicked with so far to go. Day 50 was curious but didn’t offer relief. Day 75 was a celebration since the end was in sight. Day 80 I realized I was wrong. I still have to fight for one day at a time. Day 86 I realize progress is a temptation. It’s not about the number. It’s about each day. What matters. What lessons are important. Can I apply the few things I know to the situation at hand? Talk to you tomorrow. g
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3 Books You Must Read
Checklist Manifesto http://atulgawande.com/book/the-checklist-manifesto/
Tim Ferriss often asks which book you gift most often. He's compiled a list in his latest book, Tools for Titans. If had interviewed me, I would have easily said, The Checklist Manifesto, by Atul Gawande. Unless you have a job where it isn't important the complete anything correctly, you need to read this book. I am a huge fan.
Thinking, Fast and Slow https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Fast-Slow-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/0374533555
I have lost count how many books I have read the refer back to Kahneman's book. I highly recommend reading his actual book. You'll be surprised how guru's borrow heavily from his work. This is one I own on audio.
Extreme Ownership https://www.amazon.com/Extreme-Ownership-U-S-Navy-SEALs-ebook/dp/B00VE4Y0Z2
Okay, I'll be the first to admit it isn't the same weight as the first 2, but it's is required ready. Some wise guy from a few thousand years ago -- maybe Cicero -- said there are two kinds of speeches. The ones were people applaud and say nice speech, and the ones were people march. I like books that have an impact, and Jocko's is one of those books. You'll change your mindset when you assume extreme ownership. I believe it is a missing ingredient in many of our lives. Caused me to start doing laundry at home -- you'll have to message me to get the rest of that story.
So many more books I'd recommend for fun and profit and some combine both, one example is Jesse Itzler's book Living with a Seal, but the 3 listed above are mandatory.
Have fun and drink more wine.
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A long time ago, I typed for profit. I was a computer geek, a technician. I used to be decent -- maybe better than decent. What did it take? What separated those of us that were decent from those that were faking it? I really believe it was faith in Gremlins.
All of us lost our way and got confused. When the chips were down, the difference was who believed in Gremlins and who didn't. The technicians that stopped because “sometimes things just happened” believed in Gremlins. We found the tenacity to keep going because we knew Gremlins didn't exist. We didn't always find the answer, but we knew it was out there, and our faith keep us going long after others would quit.
Where did the faith come from? It started with a choice to believe and strengthened through experience. Belief will rule your world. What you choose to believe will decide how you respond. Have the courage to change your mind when you find new evidence, but you must always decide what you believe, how you will respond -- even inaction is a choice.
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35 years since high school, and I still remember talk about the star freshman that hit the winning home run. I said, "What about the first home run? Was it not as important?" My friends walked away making comments about my lack of understanding sports. I still get those comments today. We had won by one run. The score was 10 to 9. If the first 9 home runs were not hit, then what value would be the last one? I was genuinely confused why we celebrated the last run more than the first run. I do understand the extra pressure that comes from do or die scenario. Maybe it was the bottom of the 9th with 2 outs, and he hit the run to win the game?
I too celebrate the winner, but results have a lot to do with luck and circumstances outside of our control. Effort and intention are hard to measure, so we demand good grades, very easy to measure. What gets measured gets done, so kids play it safe and take classes with easy teachers. My own kids don’t trust me when I tell them grades don’t matter because if they don’t score well, I bench them from sports and take away their electronics; however, it is true. I don’t care about the grade itself. Grades are only a proxy for effort. Have my kids put in the effort to meet the standards set by the school? I know these standards have little bearing on success in the real world. The life skill comes when you figure out how to achieve; how to try something hard and fight for achievement. The ability to learn for yourself. Grades are still the best way I have to tell if my kids are trying. It didn’t work well in the lower grades since it was too easy to get high grades. It’s a better tool for high school and college.
Peter Drucker believed we should record our intentions. Check our results frequently, and we'll quickly figure out our strengths and weaknesses. Can you achieve what you intended to achieve? If not, what needs to change? I plan my day in advance, and I have yet to work out the day as planned. I always believe I can get more done than I do. I try to improve, but the facts are there on paper. Drucker’s method gives me the feedback to improve.
A different way to think about it is to use Nassim Nicholas Taleb's metaphor. Which $100,000 is more valuable? A winning lottery ticket or a dentist's earnings?
If our intentions are to win the game, we need a machine more capable of winning more often. If we look only at the last home run or the final score, we might value the winning lottery ticket as much as the dental practice.
My point is lead people to create an environment that has the ability stay the course, maintain a sustainable pace, and hit winning home runs as often as possible. Celebrate the practice. I'll close with my favorite paraphrase of Bear Bryant, "It's not the will to win that matters, everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that makes all the difference."
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How do you catch more fish, as a metaphor for winning more deals or completing more projects on time or getting promoted? It’s all about winning more often, so how do we do it, win?
Is it timing? Is it a natural born talent? Or? Is it knowing where to stand?
The grizzly that has figured out where to stand catches the most salmon. The equivalent in selling of knowing where to stand is knowing where to spend your time.
It's what Jack Daly calls High Payoff Activities (HPA). The best salespeople know where to stand. They work on HPAs. What's an HPA? An HPA is simply any activity that generates more business. If you aren't careful, you'll be spending 50% or more of your time on busy work. Make a list of the HPAs, and question everything else:
· can you ignore it,
· can you delegate it, or
· can you delay it till a non-prime time?
Skip the to-do list. Jack suggests working off a calendar instead of a to-do list. I couldn't agree more. I scan my emails [applying lessons learned from Getting-Things-Done author, David Allen]:
· to delete what's possible
· complete anything I can do in less than 2 minutes, or
· move it to a "processing" folder.
I empty my inbox about every hour or two. When I work through the "processing" folder, I think through each email: what's the work that needs to be done: study? respond? create? organize? I use outlook on both my MacBook and my ThinkPad. On my mac, I tap with two fingers to trigger the right click options. I select create - new appointment to create a calendar entry. On ThinkPad, I have a quick action built to "book time" (creates an appointment with text of message). This is where you do the preprocessing. Think through what you want to do before you hit save. The trick is you don't want to consider it again. When it comes time to act on the email, you can act, not think through it again. You have room on both platforms to write a note to yourself above the email and keep track of progress. If I'm not able to finish in the time allotted, I make a note of my progress and reschedule.
Every action requires time. If a message is worth acting on, then it's worth scheduling the time to act. When you use a to-do list, you are in effect saying, "I hope to make time to work on this someday."
What if it isn't from email? I use the note app on my phone. It's quick, easy to use, and saves in the cloud. I have a few standard lists:
· Books recommended
· store -- things to buy next time
· writing prompts
· good ideas
· tasks noticed to complete around the house, etc...
I process these notes about once a week. Same idea as the emails. I schedule a time to get it done. The exception are small tasks at home. I just work through the smaller tasks at my leisure on weekends.
At home, I use google docs for organizing information, and at work, I use OneNote and SharePoint. I love OneNote for its ease of use and mobile access. I have a notebook with several tabs: daily journal, external clients, internal clients, key vendors, process notes, tools. I share the notebook with my team.
Routines help me save space for HPAs. The routine of capturing work and ideas builds the trust that projects will not be dropped. The trust is in myself. I can rest at ease that I'm not forgetting anything important. I can focus on the HPAs without worrying about the little things falling through the cracks.
One more routine is Friday afternoon planning. I put in the Big Rocks (Steven Covey) for next week. The Big Rocks are the important but not urgent activities that will be missed if not scheduled first: prospecting, training, exercise. By living off my calendar, I am more honest about my time and spend my time more wisely. I use my time on purpose, more productively. It's always a work in progress. These are just a few of my ideas. Greg
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Driving into work one morning, I noticed all the ornamental grass had been cut back to about 6 inches from the ground. It made a nice geometric scene for me to enjoy but more than that, I wondered how they knew that's best for the grass.
More to the point, I wondered what I would do if I was told to maintain the grounds. If it was my job suddenly to take care of the landscaping, what would I do? I wouldn't have thought to cut back grass. I doubt there is a training manual at our property management company for the grounds crew. Of course, something as insignificant as cutting back grass is comical, but it highlights a larger lesson for me.
I see tribal knowledge. I see a great example of implicit knowledge. I see a group that shows newcomers how it's done. I realize my salespeople are exactly the same as these grounds’ keepers, and I wonder what I am leaving up to the group to teach each other through gossip, trial and error, email threads, and you-should-have-known.
A training manual will help, but it doesn't solve much. A weeklong training camp is useful but the impact fades quickly. The only way I've seen impact stick is consistent, steady, nudging. The best way to nudge is sitting side by side while they work. Much like the groundskeepers working side by side. Much like we all adapt to new situations by watching those around us.
I watched a great Ted talk that of course I can’t find anymore. I remember the research being discussed was about teaching and how to get someone to remember something for a while. We typically teach a lot in a short period of time and test to confirm it was taught. Students are great at this, and the test scores show it; however, if you test again in a couple of years, you’ll discover nearly 100% of the material has been lost. The best method is to pile a lot on early and then continue to question for a long time. The questions must vary in difficulty, and if a question is missed, the subject can be repeated. I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise that random reinforcement over a long period of time is best. Just because we know how to do something doesn’t mean we do it. We tend to copy what we’ve seen, and we see the cram course is popular. Guess what? It actually takes work.
Good luck and watch how the grass is cut.
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Crutches are necessary, sometimes. You are probably leaning on one now, and it's holding you back; it's keeps you from running.
You might not realize it's a crutch. One of my kids fell and hurt her arm. She needed a brace, and the brace took away most of the pain. Weeks went by, and she insisted she still needed the brace. The arm wasn't getting stronger as we expected. We had to force her to take off the brace, so the arm could strengthen, and she's been fine ever since.
What crutch are you using at work? What's your brace? Do you ever hear anyone say they'd like to act but they don't have permission? Maybe how they'd produce more if they had a bigger budget or more people. Perhaps they blame marketing or dream of a day when they'd have a new brochure. It's easy to spot in others. Can you spot it in yourself?
I'm more curious if you blame others. The proposal was late being delivered to you. The information you requested was incomplete or slow. Maybe you like to blame the client? They just didn't get it, or they didn't even look at all the material you sent.
An old crusty manager I had once told me, "You are responsible for your own income." I thought he was stretching it a bit. My quota was make-believe. The product wasn't the best in the market, and we weren't as good as we said we were. And yes. My leads weren't any good. How did he expect me to own my income?
I'll tell you how he expected it. He expected it because there is simply no other answer. I alone could decide how hard I was going to work. I alone could decide my product was better than most, and a few people would actually love it. I alone could find the few people in our company that were as good as we said they were.
You'll find your crutches when you make the conscious decision to take ownership for your role at work. Drive the truck. Don't let the truck drive you.
Let me tell you a story. I was a child of about 11 years old, and I lived on a farm in Kentucky. As any farm kid, I would drive the truck around on our land to do chores. One day I was driving the truck through a gate and needed to take a sharp left turn. As I inched ever so close to the fence post on my left, I went slower and slower. Much like a passenger on an amusement park ride, I watched in horror as I closer and closer to the fence post. What I missed was a metal spike we used to stop the gate from swing through. The spike caught the truck panel and cause a huge dent in our truck. To be honest, Dad was and probably still is one of the hardest working people I have ever met but kind parenting was unknown to him. I was terrified. One thing I do remember from the whole episode is, "Drive the tuck. Don't let the truck drive you." To my Dad, it was just a comment during our discussion. To me, it was profound.
You own your income. Drive your job, career, pipeline, sales goal, education, health, emotional well-being, love life, parenting style, curiosity, passion, happiness, weight. Don't let it drive you.
How do you know if you are about to hit the fence post? Like playing pool, you need to call your shots. Write down what you intend to do by the end of the week. Check yourself when Friday roles around. Did you accomplish what you intended to get done or did you hit the post? Are you like me and just watch as you hit the post or are you going to adjust course, try something different, ask for help? Learn from my mistake. I did.
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Sunday Update Oct 18, 2020
Two numbers to start with 999 and 21. 21 days till my 100 Days are done, and 999 times has someone played a podcast episode. Numbers are numbers and people are people. The numbers just keep track of the events. The numbers don’t tell the story.
I almost skipped out on the exercise yesterday. It was odd since I did the podcast early. I got part of my goal out of the way, and I left what I thought was an easy part till later. Life has a way of getting in the way. I had a few beers and too much to eat for dinner. I wasn’t really looking forward to sit-ups. I got it done, but it wasn’t quality time.
I’ve been out of a full-time job for 109 days. I saw a friend recommend a documentary serious on Netflex, called The Playbook. Doc Rivers, an NBA Coach, said his Dad would often say, “We are not a victim.” While I am concerned about the economy, my resume, and my age, I am not a victim. What does it mean to refuse to be a victim? It’s one thing to say it, and it’s a whole different thing to live it. Eckhart Tolle sums it up nicely “When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it. All else is madness.”
Before I can leave the situation, I have to know what the situation is. Sounds easy. I’m unemployed. I need to leave unemployment. I’m certainly not going to accept it. I wish it was so simple. Unemployment is a label, a lack of income. It isn’t a situation. The situation might be the type of jobs I’m looking for don’t match the story on my resume or the place where I’m looking. My skill set might need to be freshened up or added to. If leaving is difficult to imagine, maybe it’s because the situation is hard to define. Is it easier to change it? I think it might be.
How can I change the situation? I can add certifications. I can look for different forms of income. I can worry less about the title of employment and get creative. More on the creative idea later.
At age 41, Jack LaLanne swam while handcuffed from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman’s Wharf. He said he want to give the prisoners hope. I’m not Jack Lalanne, but in my own way, I want to give people hope. Hope they can get through their own valley.
Thank you and talk to you next week.
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I’m realizing I talk a lot about stories. The only nonfiction is the past. The future is up to us. I don’t mean 100 years from now. I’m talking about the next hour, this afternoon. What’s that story going to read like? Is it a love story? an adventure? Will it be sad?
Stories are so powerful that I believe we should know a little about them. Maybe you noticed that there are only so many plots available? We experience the same stories over and over in slightly different ways. I heard once that the movie Aliens was pitched as Jaws in space. I like to remind myself of this when I think of my own story. I don’t have to worry about it being too wildly different from others. We all live in a similar struggle. I know you can see a big difference in money or health or age, but when it comes down to acceptance, love, longing, a sense of purpose, we are all alike. I’ve met plenty of people I consider wealthy that can’t buy peace or friendship.
Characters are important in a story. I know no matter what the circumstances a good character will behave in predictable ways. My daughter is reading about Clara Barton, the founder of the Red Cross. I didn’t even recognize the name before my daughter introduced me to her. Clara Barton sounds like a true hero to me. She was a badass on a mission. She went toward trouble because she knew help was needed. Her character is going to behave the same no matter if bullets are flying by or not. You and I are more of a character than we are someone who can control the storyline. I mean we can behave in predictable ways no matter what’s happening around us.
What type of character are you? What type of character do you want to be? Peter Drucker’s 5 questions are always on my mind, especially the first one: “What do you want to be remembered for?” Can you answer that question? Drucker says we should ask the question every 6 months. To be fair, he was talking about companies, but I think it works well for people too. I’ve tried to answer the question often. I want to be remembered as the guy who led people through the valley. The second question is right behind the first. The second question is, “Remembered by who?” Who do you want to be remembered by? In business, this is your client. With people, I think this is my loved ones. The ones I care for. Others might remember me the way I want to be remembered also, but that’s not who I’m focused on. If I am a hero in my story and in the journey l lose my family, then what was it for?
Maybe my story doesn't look that exciting from the outside. If I worry about how it looks to strangers, I’m losing sight of who I want to be remembered by. The questions are powerful. Remember a song from the 80s, maybe early 90s, that said something like, “You’re the type of guy that says my lower back is killing me.” I still laugh when I think about it. Sometimes I’m that guy too, but I don’t want to be. For my story to work, I need to be the type of guy that’s willing to lose for what he believes in. I’m the type of guy that makes the choice to love no matter what. I’m the type of guy that listens and questions what it is I believe I know. In short, I give a shit.
What do you give a shit about? Keep the list short and know what’s on it. Best of luck.
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Have you been to the Chicago Art Institute? It is amazing. An oasis in the Chicago loop. My wife and I took the kids a couple of summers ago, and my 10-year-old spotted this painting. To me, it looked like a 2x4 painted green on one half and read on the other. My son said, "I can do that. That's dumb." Despite my smile, he made me think about our attitude and judgement. If he can do it, it can't be worth much. He makes the judgment that what he sees is all there is.
What if someone was there to sell him like someone obviously sold the art community already? What if someone could explain the backstory, the technique, the message communicated, the history of the artist and maybe the movement this piece is a part of? My son doesn't know the story because no one was there to tell it. No one was there to sell it.
I truly believe we are the story we live out. Art is a story attempting to influence the story of others, and when it works well, our lives are enriched and expanded. "Only emotion endures." as Ezra Pound says. Without art, I'm not sure what life would be.
I also believe sales is the highest form of art. Salespeople are telling a story, and when done well, client’s lives are enriched and expanded. Art without sales is a plain board painted red and green.
Your company has a choice to make. You can be the plain board that my son sees and says, "that's dumb.", or you can tell your story with art which will enrich and expand people's lives.
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Where do I begin? You are in a slump, and you want to change. Where do you start? At the end, of course. The ending is the best part of winning story. What’s your story; what’s the ending? How much is the story worth to you?
Let’s talk about a quarter. It’s only a quarter. How much should you pay for it? It depends how much you need it. Let’s say you are at a parking meter. You step out and need to borrow a quarter. The first person says, “Sure. I have a quarter, but can I keep the difference?” How does that make you feel? You need to pay a dollar for a quarter.
Let’s try again. Second try. This person says, “Sure. I don’t have one with me, but if you have a dollar, I’ll run around the corner and get change. My wife works there, and it won’t take me a second. I’ll be right back, and for my trouble, I’d like to keep the difference.” How does that make you feel? Better. In both cases, you paid a dollar for a quarter. Why do you feel better? The only difference is the story.
How much is your ending worth? Is it worth working for? I’d bet it is. Write that story. What would a pro look like, act like, sound like? Sell the quarter. So, you now have the ending. What’s next?
The character in the story is you, the hero. You will need to go through some trials to be the person you need to become. We know this. It’s every story we have ever seen.
Remember, you can’t keep doing what you’ve always done and expect different results. But you don’t need to jump to the end. Play the movie. What’s the next scene? What would you, the hero, do?
Improve your skills?
Ask for help?
Slow down and re-think your approach? Intense focus in one direction will go a long way. Let the story play out.
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Half asleep she picked up her very wet baby girl. Now Mom knew why baby was crying so loudly. Her pajamas were soaked. Did the diaper not work? What happened? Mom quickly discovered that Dad had put the diaper on inside out. If you aren’t familiar with disposable diapers, one side is absorbent and the other is covered in plastic to avoid leaks.
If you want help, you have to allow for the occasional inside out diaper. A lot of people would ban the Dad from ever changing a diaper again. The baby would certainly be more comfortable, but Mom would forever do all the diaper changing. Mistakes are the wet baby, and they come with training. What do you do when someone tells you the baby is wet? Do you blow up? Yell?
Feedback is a gift, but it isn’t always pleasant. Without feedback you can’t survive. You must correct course based on feedback. I worked for a good man, and he cared for his people. He was lousy at receiving bad news. He would shoot the messenger. If mistakes were made, his first response was to explode. Shortly after he would regroup and realize what had to be done. He would even thank the person for the feedback, but the damage was done. Feedback seldom came and was only after being filtered to the best possible scenario.
Over time this leader collected only tough-skinned characters that could handle his first explosions. He was fired when the pace of change exposed his lack of feedback, and he couldn’t keep up. Remember the wet baby is a gift.
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As a much younger man, I had the privilege of attending one of the military's survival schools. Best training environment I have ever experienced. They spent very little time telling me how to act, and they spent most of our time creating an experience where I could test out my new knowledge. How did I do? Thankfully I failed horribly. There's no lesson in victory.
Another great training environment is IBM. I had some of the best professional training while working for IBM. In one particular event, I got to meet the 2nd women ever hired as a sales rep for the company. I was a little awe struck, and I wanted to impress her so badly. I had to pretend to call on her as if she were a client. After the session, she gave me a review. I knew it wasn’t going to go well when her first statement was, “I really wanted to give you a good grade.” I am grateful she was tough enough to fail me. There’s no lesson in victory.
I used to think some skills were like swimming -- impossible to learn without getting wet. Now I'm more inclined to believe all skills are like swimming. Until you've skinned your knees, you don't know how to ride a bike. Until you bring home a child, you don't know how to parent -- and I still don't really know. Until you've asked for money and lived under a quota, you don't know what it means to be in sales.
Have you heard the term deliberate practice? Turns out it isn't just the amount of time you practice; it's how you practice. I don't expect this is a news flash for anyone trying to learn a new skill. All 6 of my kids play a string instrument, and it's been fascinating to watch the younger kids have faith in practice. They see how the oldest plays today, and they know how she used to sound in 4th grade. They've seen the path. They've also learned if you want to improve, then practice the hard parts. They have tendency to play what's easy - over and over. It's only when they fail that they learn how to play better.
There is a limit to how hard your practice should be of course. The experts say you should practice just outside your comfort zone, think 10%. You can't just attempt to solo on day one of flying lessons. You need to find an instructor and slowly work your way to harder and harder tasks. Don't expect it to be easy and remember ground school is necessary but it's never enough by itself.
One more important concept when tackling anything new and difficult. Expect a sinking feeling early in the process. I’ve heard it called a free fall period. You may get lost in the new info, and you need to hang on. Have faith that you will come out soon and find your way. For me, a new subject must start with the big picture. I feel like I first build the shelves, then put in the book, then fill in the pages. I get deeper into the topic as I go.
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Can we play a game? Let's pretend you have a race tomorrow. It's a team event, a relay race. Are there things you could do today that would have a negative impact on the race tomorrow? What could you do to let your teammates and yourself down?
- Stay up all night drinking?
- Lift heavy weights in the gym and pull a muscle?
- Not bother to look up the time and place for the race?
- Ignore your teammates requests for planning?
We could make an equal list of the positive actions you can take. You can choose from which list to pick; do you disagree? You might not be the best at racing, but you can make choices to have a great impact on your performance.
Instead of an imaginary race, what if we viewed our day like one leg of a relay race? What you do today will impact your performance tomorrow and tomorrow's behavior will impact the day after. Life is a relay race from day to day, and the series of days is the team you are on. How you choose to run the daily leg of the race will add up, and the choice is your responsibility.
Fast forward a week from now, what is that version of you going to say about what you did today? Are you ready for the feedback? Is the feedback going to be positive if you keep doing what you've always done? What about a year from now? What would the future-you ask you to do today to setup a better chance of winning?
How might you pass the baton to tomorrow?
What are some small positive items to choose from?
· Stop looking at a screen by 9pm
· Go to bed by 10pm
· Read for 30 min
· 10 push-ups
· 10 sit ups
· Clean the kitchen sink
· Throw in a load of laundry
· Clean the car windshield
· Fill the car up with gas
The list is endless, and all the tiny steps will stack up to allow you to reach higher tomorrow.
What do you think?
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Sunday Update Oct 11th, 2020
Here I am again, a Sunday update. I’m within 30 days of the end. Day 1 seems so long ago. Today is day 72. The last day is November 8th. I am so grateful for my health during the last 72 days. I haven’t felt ill at all. If I get sick in the 4 weeks left, I’ll roll with it. I wonder how I’ll feel if I don’t make it to 100? I don’t see any reason why I won’t, but I wonder. Will I pout? Complain? Feel less of myself? No. I don’t think so. If I don’t make it, it will be for good reason. I don’t know which day it was, but somewhere along the way I’ve crossed a threshold of self-acceptance. I made it far enough to be content with my effort even though I’ll still value finishing. If I had failed too early, I wouldn’t have counted myself worthy. There was struggle in the early days. I was afraid of enough content. I was afraid of getting tired. There have been days when I mailed in the minimum. I haven’t listed to any of my podcast yet, and I’m sure some are better than others.
What’s the next 100 days? Do I start something on Nov 9th? I think I should. I nervous now that I won’t value the 2nd 100 as much as the 1st, and I’ll won’t have the stick-to-it-ness. I’ll give up and walk away. The fear helps somehow. Saying it loud now gives me a bit of a shot in the arm. My confidence is building already, as I say this. I can make the next 100 because I must.
How do I set it up for success? I’ll balance the effort required with the good it will bring, and I’ll have a minimum where I can win. I’ll focus on a tiny effective habit. I like a set of 3 for some reason. One habit seems too small, but a set of 3 seems must right. I haven’t picked yet, but I’m considering writing for 15 min, getting up early, running up my hill (it’s about 100 yards), or reading in Spanish (starting with pre-school books). The possibilities are endless. The trick is a small dose, a tiny habit. What do you think? Want to join me? You can have your own set of 3.
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Does responsibility come with awareness? I looked out the window and noticed the shed was left open. It wasn’t my fault; however, now I know. I could have gone on to bed and blamed the guilty party if something went missing. Whose fault would it have been? Do I share in the guilt since I knew?
Is this why some people avoid finding out?
What if I told you mistakes only happen for 2 reasons?
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Lack of knowledge
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Lack of attention
We park our cars outside. The other night someone found the door unlocked and rummaged through the car. Thankfully we didn’t lose anything. I didn’t have anything in the car to take. Whose fault was it that the car was left unlocked? One of the kids had went out to look for something earlier. Maybe it was their fault?
Who’s at fault now if it happens again? I know the cars can be left unlocked. I don’t want petty criminals going through my car at night. So I have the knowledge of the risk, and if I go to bed without checking, is it still the child’s fault? What about responsibility?
It’s one thing to use examples at home, but what about at work? How many mistakes are predictable: running out of inventory, switching too late, or delaying too long? What about personal failure to get the results you want?
What excuse are you probably going to give for not working out this upcoming week? Are you going to be tired? Too busy? Too sore? Have you used these excuses before? Knowing you are going to make the same excuses, can you take steps now to counteract the effect, the impact?
Remember lack of knowledge and lack of attention. Which one is going to trip you up next?
Could you have a kill-murphy meeting? Could you get together and make a list of all the likely things to go wrong? And plan to avoid those early? Are you going to need encouragement when it gets hard? From who? When? Write a note to yourself and put in the mail – or give it to a friend to give back in a few days. Let yourself know that you saw this coming. You had the knowledge, and you are paying attention.
What ruts do you like to use again because it’s easy? Like the shed being left open, take notice. Take action, even small steps. Make it hard for the rut to be taken, for the excuse to be used.
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Can you see the elephant in the room? It really depends if you are an insider or an outsider. To an insider, the little things matter. The dirty laundry is everywhere, and selection bias is rampant. Twenty plus years ago I worked in a service garage selling repairs to Chrysler car owners. To this day, I have trouble believing in Chrysler quality. My belief has nothing to do with the truth. It's a selection bias. I only saw the Chrysler cars with problems, so I mistakenly thought Chryslers have more problems than other cars. Crazy; I know.
Have you ever heard of the curse of knowledge? You can't unlearn something. You can't unring a bell.
Here's where I go wrong. Being a self-proclaimed smart and ethical person, I feel compelled to share my knowledge. I feel like I need to be honest with clients and let them in on the secret that new cars due have problems. And Chrysler might have more than its fair share. I hesitate to be that "sales" guy that shouts about how great Chrysler is without considering the reality of my selection bias.
Fast forward to today’s information flow. The stream of information is designed to interest you, to keep you watching. The advertisers are the client, not you. You are the product being sold. I too trade my attention for free email, curated videos, and seeing pictures from friends. What I need to remember is selection bias is worse than ever. I’m not seeing a reasonable representation of the truth. I’m seeing more and more of what I want to see. If I want to see problems, I will. I don’t think we can change this as long as companies are buying our attention. I do think we need to aware of what’s happening.
Never forget you are an insider and try to remember what it was like to be new, to be from the outside. You’ll be able to see the elephant in the room, and you might have more friends from other walks of life.
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“The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human can alter his life by altering his attitude.”William James
Attitude is a choice. Attitude takes practice. Start to think about all you have to be grateful for and your attitude can improve.
How close is attitude to belief? I mean unless you are a fake person you must believe there’s a reason for a good attitude. You must believe in the possibility of improvement. I know my attitude can impact my performance. I know that if I have a better attitude the chances of winning go up. I also know my mental attitude follows my physical attitude, so it’s important to hold yourself correctly, stand straight, sit up, look ahead. Have you tried the superhero pose? Stand for 2 minutes with your hands on your hips and your chin out. Look like a superhero with a cape. Your attitude will begin to match your stance. Your blood chemistry will actually change to match.
I’m a fan of the movie, Matrix (at least the first one). Morpheus from Matrix has a great view of attitude, "Do you believe that my being stronger or faster has anything to do with my muscles, in this place?" Paraphrasing Morpheus, "Do you believe that you sounding like typical, callous, inattentive salesperson has anything to do with the car you are selling?"
I think it was Zig Ziglar that taught me selling is a transfer of emotion not information. In order to be contagious, you must infect yourself first. You must believe your offer is genuinely good for the person. You must believe the person you are going to talk to will be better off if they buy what you are selling.
Think of the scene from Groundhog Day where Phil runs into Ned, an insurance salesman. Ned is over the top. He's everything we hate about sales. I love the scene and sadly it isn't completely fiction. Again, thinking of the Matrix movie, "Do you believe it has anything to do with the insurance you are selling?"
My Dad died when I was 6, and the small life insurance policy saved us, and I sure do wish a better salesperson would have met my parents and got them better coverage.
I live in a house built in the 20's and the original garage had to be somewhere close to the same time frame. It had seen better days. We had a snowstorm last spring that caved in the roof. I was about the replace the garage when someone mentioned it might be under insurance. I called and we have replacement insurance. Great! When the insurance adjuster told me you can't replace the roof until code upgrades were done, I thought that made sense. Can't put lipstick on a pig, so I asked for quotes. He called back asking if I knew we had code upgrade insurance -- and a premium rider to double the benefit. I did not and was pleased to be educated. We ended up getting the brand-new garage because we had known a salesperson about 15 years ago that listened to us and sold us all the insurance we might ever need.
There are so many bad examples in sales it isn't really worth reviewing, but life is about growth, and sales is the engine that drives growth. Salespeople are the economy’s first responders. Believe in your product or service. Understand how it makes your clients lives better. Always remember it's got nothing to do with the product you are selling. It's all you.
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“There is more to life than increasing its speed” – Mahatma Gandhi
Forbes Magazine interview with Peter Drucker, 'Successful leaders don’t start out asking, “What do I want to do?” They ask, “What needs to be done?” '
Or better yet also by Drucker, “There is nothing more useless than doing efficiently what doesn’t need to be done at all.”
I need to take a hard look at what’s being done and do less. I believe we should take away as much as possible and when the process breaks add back the last step.
No one shows this better than Masanobu Fukuoka He has a great book, The One-Straw Revolution, and I highly recommend it. He walked away from a corporate bio-engineering job and started to farm. He farmed by his one-straw-revolution principle, do less till it breaks. His farm produces as much or more per acre than any commercial enterprise. His innovated of course. When he finds out what must be done, he looks for ways to do it better. He stopped plowing, and the birds were eating too much of his seed. He put the seed in little clay balls next time. The seeds would germinate without being eaten. Sometimes the process breaks. He stopped pruning his fruit trees, and the fruit production dropped far too low. He had to add that step back.
I do a lot of what I do because that’s the way it has always been done. When I pause to consider each step, I like to stop doing it and see what happens. I’m am frequently surprised at the results.
I live in a world of not enough time, and finding more time isn't a sustainable answer. I have to create not-to-do lists. I can’t always be involved. I must delegate even if it’s painful.
One more great saying, “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it again?” What’s my suggestion? Slow down. Actually, make a list of the tasks you catch yourself doing that aren’t required. Test assumptions and skip some steps to see what happens. Read One-Straw Revolution.
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2 rules for progress toward your goals:
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Again
-
For me
Again:
How long do you allow your child to try to walk before giving up? What advice do you give when learning a new skill? Go again. Try again. Again tomorrow. “Again” is a powerful idea. If we don't quit, if we go again, we'll be moving toward the goal.
What you seek seeks you. When we go again, we continually seek our goal and the goal gets closer to us. If we stop, we have no hope. “Again” is the secret to becoming someone new, someone better. “Again” will get what money can't buy. Money can't buy a 4-hour marathon or a 2-mile swim or a more active healthier lifestyle.
For Me:
How hard do you try? Les Brown answers the question about drinking alcohol like this, "You are a grown man. You want to drink? That's up to you, but where I'm going, I don't have time for it." I think Les Brown avoids drinking for himself. He isn't skipping out on a few beers because it's against a rule. He's doing the "For Me". I drink myself, but I can see where he’s coming from, and I like the idea.
I don't even like going to the gym, but when I'm there, for me. Why do I try one more rep when it's uncomfortable, "For Me". Why do I keep going a little more when I'm tired? "For Me". Who am I cheating when I back off? Is it the coach that loses? Does the gym miss out? No. It's only me, so I chant to myself "For Me".
These two rules, "Again" and "For Me", keep me going when I'm in the valley between the way I was and the way I want to be.
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Comparisons are fun and at times informative. Are you a reader or a listener? Do you enjoy the practice or the novelty? Do you believe intelligence is fixed or elastic? Are you a cow or a pig? Maybe you aren't familiar with the last one. I grew up on a hobby farm in Kentucky, and we had cows and pigs. I don't think we always did things the right way, and we used an electric fence at times. If you aren't familiar with an electric fence, it's a simple wire connected to an alternating current. If the animal touches the wire, they'll get a mild shock. I've touched it several times myself and have survived. What I found interesting and informative was the difference between the cows and the pigs.
Pig Test
It was my job to set up the fence and keep it going. I was about 10 years old, and often I might forget to do it correctly. The cows would test the wire the first day or so and then accept the boundary and never try again. Pigs on the other hand tested the wire all the time. Pigs have a very sensitive nose, and they would simply get close to the wire and feel the pulse of electricity without any shock. If the fence was off, they'd walk right through.
I try to be a pig at work. I don't want to test assumptions so hard as to get shocked, but I never want to accept a boundary and become a cow either. Pig testing is very important. We work very hard to create models and use analytics to make better decisions. As cows we accept the answers given and become surprised when the grass is all gone. As pigs we use the answers and always test to make sure our models are still a close fit to the real world. So often I hear the client will never listen to that message, and as cows we believe we know our clients so well. As pigs, we might mention the message again and find out for ourselves if the fence is still hot.
Toilet Paper
I was fortunate to stumble into being a Cryptologic Linguist for the Air Force, and I would listen to our former bad guys, the East Germans. I had a lot of fancy tools to be snoopy but what proved most useful was the toilet paper. Like any army, the Germans would guard important information closely and attempt to make it difficult to find. Toilet Paper on the other hand was unimportant. Before any troop movement, a large order of toilet paper would show up. I always knew something was about to happen.
In business we have a lot of fancy tools to explain what's going to happen. I try to remember to look for the toilet paper. One of my favorite IBM Fellows, Brenda Dietrich, talks about data exhaust. The trail left by data transactions that can be as informative as the data itself. The data exhaust left behind by our buying, when we buy; how often we buy; the volume of our purchase content; the mentions on social media; etc... is all toilet paper that is available to interpretation. Much less legal issues about privacy when we search for the toilet paper as compared to the actual transactions themselves.
Ball of String
I've been reading William James' work on habits. He is big on the power of inertia. We continue doing what we've done because it's what we feel comfortable doing. The neural pathways are in place. Takes force to overcome inertia. He has a great metaphor about the early work of changing a habit. You must be very careful to maintain a change in habit. Each day is like winding a small piece of new string around a ball, and if you miss once, it's like dropping the ball and watching it roll across the floor.
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Weekly Update Oct 4th, 2020
It’s Sunday. It’s the easy update day.
Mentally tough week. Hasn’t been that easy. I am blessed with several friends who believe in me, and I’m excited about what’s possible. I’m just nervous, and maybe that’s normal.
Today is day 65, and I’m still going strong.
Looks like nearly 850 downloads of the podcast. I have stopped worrying about who’s listening and if the podcast is any good or not. I’m just doing what I can and let the chips fall.
I have kept up with the 100 Day Challenge – haven’t missed a day. I have met the bare minimum more than once. I could have done more, but I have finished what was planned. That’s something to celebrate.
Possible upcoming topics this week:
· When does motivation break?
· Pig test, toilet paper, and a ball of string.
· One straw revolution.
I’ll see where we go from there.
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I tell my students that I don’t plan on asking any questions that I wouldn’t expect them to know two years from now. I’m not here to play trivial pursuit. I do, however, cover a lot of material, and I know for a fact most of the material will not stick in long-term memory. Why bother?
I also read all the time, and I'd be surprised if I could even recall a tenth of the total, so why bother?
My kids ask me all the time why they need to learn geometry or chemistry. They see that my wife and I don’t use this knowledge often if at all, and they wonder, “Why bother?”
I don’t think, “Because I said so.” is a good answer.
I didn’t always read. I might have read 3 books before the age of 18. While in the Air Force, Captain Fritz changed everything. Captain Fritz was an Army artillery officer in my class at the military's language school. He heard me mention I didn't read, and he didn't just get angry. He acted. He bought a book and ordered me to read it. If I liked it, I could thank him. If not, he'd drop it. Well, the rest is history as they say. I've lost touch with Captain Fritz, but I still have his gift of reading.
Like I mentioned, I don’t read to remember. I read for the experience and for the change. Books change who I am and how I think. I absorb ideas and concepts even though I won't remember the source or the exact details. The flavor of life changes the more I read. My ability to learn and connect new ideas grows. My flexibility when faced with new opportunities also improves. I read to have a higher quality of life.
A tree sapling will grow stronger when the wind blows. An ornamental tree that’s been supported for too long will break when the wind blows hard. It takes stress to strengthen. Like so many things, too much stress is dangerous. The strongest trees will still fall over in a hurricane or a tornado.
My mind is not different. My mind grows stronger when stressed by new learning, reading, experiencing. And I might not remember, but I am changed. I collect principles that are enforced as I learn more. Many times, I’ll be reading a book with no great insight, and all of a sudden, I stumble upon one really good idea. Was it worth reading 350 pages for the one good idea? Yes. Absolutely yes. Could I have read the good idea in a sentence by itself? I don’t have a specific idea in mind, so maybe, but I don’t think so. I think I need the context of the book to get ready for the idea to be planted in fertile ground. Dish to me cold and by itself I don’t think it would stick.
Scribbling the Cat by Bo Fuller is a good example. I can’t remember much about the book itself. I do remember something from the beginning that has stayed with me for many years. She flew back from Africa, and she felt like part of her soul was still there. She said she should have taken a slow boat and allowed her soul time to catch up. There’s more to life than speeding up.
So why bother? I bother because life is an adventure with many surprises, struggles, and enjoyments. When the moment comes, you will live as the person you are at that moment. You don’t get a do-over. You don’t get to wait and prepare. I read; I learn not to prepare for a certain future but to prepare for any future. I read for the fun of it. I read for the joy of it. I read for the fruit of it.
Teaching is similar. I guide the students through a lot of material to give their souls time to catch up. By the end of the semester, they will have changed. Their opinions on the subject will be influenced by the material. They won’t remember much of the details, at all, but when the moment comes, they will a better sense of what to do. I teach because together we change. I ask them to find a struggle, a mystery the like. We all must work, and it isn’t always fun, but I do hope it’s the type of unfun you enjoy.
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How to believe?
How long does it take to believe?
“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” I first heard this from Dale Carnegie in his book, Win Friends and Influence People, an excellent book by the way. My question isn’t how well we hold on to beliefs, but it’s is close. How long until we believe something new?
A hint is in the quote itself, “against his will.” I have to will to believe. I have to change my mind. The reason I’m diving into this idea today is parenting. I’m doing my best to parent 6 kids. Each one has their own challenge, and one of the common themes is often self-efficacy. I looked it up to be sure. Efficacy is the ability produce a desired result, so self-efficacy is your own ability to produce a result. The level of this ability is tied to your level of belief. Remember Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”?
I only change my mind when forced. When my ability to produce a result is too small, I must change my beliefs. I must examine my approach. Back to my question, how long does it take?
Like cooking, pressure can speed up the process. Desire can add pressure. If you really want the result, then you’ll be faster to examine your beliefs about what’s possible. Too much pressure and things can blow up. You must be careful to apply just enough but not too much, the Goldilocks conundrum.
Jocko Willink and Leif Babin popularized the notion of extreme ownership in their book by the same title. In a way, they are saying, “No excuses.” If you take the extreme ownership approach to obtaining the desired result, you change your option set. You’ll considered ideas, otherwise, ignored.
How do you teach a teenager extreme ownership? You create a condition that is unfun. You declare if the result is not achieved then you don’t get what you want, and they have to want this very badly. It’s painful as the parent. I don’t want to see my child suffer, but I love them. I love them enough to insist on a little suffering now to be able to celebrate later. One large caution: this must be approach with love and attention. If you apply too much pressure, things can blow up. This an art not a science.
So how long does it take? Depends on how much it hurts. When desperate, you’ll believe very fast in what helps.
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My 15-year old son has been passionate about mowing the grass ever since he got a plastic mower at 2 years old and would follow me around the lawn. He mows for me now, and I see he's very quick to notice what I do and copy exactly. He's learned what he knows from experience and watching. He's a true bleeder. A bleeder is someone who has learned the hard way, through experience, as in someone who gets their knees skinned trying to learn, no book knowledge or classroom training at all. As a bleeder he's show great promise, but it is very obvious he doesn't understand why he's doing what he's doing. He can't easily extend his knowledge to new situations. He's very limited. He has more passion than most and works very hard, but like most bleeders, he'll need help if he's going to get much better.
We all know the readers in life. The people with a lot of training and little to no experience. They are highly confident in their schooling and may have something to contribute, but more often than not, they'll need some time in the job to be of much use. This is very common today in the technology fields with the rush to certifications. These certifications are a great way to document your achievement, but a test is a test and not the real world. Don’t misunderstand. I take certifications too. They are a good thing, just don’t judge someone on certifications alone.
The key is to be both a reader and a bleeder. You must apply what you have learned, and you must examine what you practice. The best technical people I've known are very experienced and still go to training all the time. I walked into a help-desk area once where the people were very cold and unfriendly. I asked my friend what was going on, and he told me they had just found out their jobs had been eliminated. He said they had been in those jobs for 20+ years. While it was very sad that anyone would be surprised with a life-challenge like unemployment, I couldn't help but wonder why they hadn't learned any new skills in all the time at the help-desk. You must read and bleed, never let up.
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I love aircraft, and I am intrigued by all operations that must be performed correctly to survive. When the stakes are high and tested every day, the process improvements are tangible and applicable.
A simple lesson to take from the professionals, is "Remove before flight". What are the few tasks that must be done before flying? What tasks are important enough that you must remove the red tag before proceeding?
I have an appointment with myself each morning labeled, "Remove before flight." It's a short list of the few things to square away before I begin the day.
- Thank-you notes
- Meeting notes updated from day before
- Did I do what I intended to do yesterday? If not, why?
- Do I know what I intend to do today? (should have been answered before leaving yesterday, but if it wasn't, the question must be answered now.)
Your list will be different, and I warn you to keep it short. I also have a list called “Do or Die List” too. It’s just one more way of saying, “This must be done.” Even if I’ve had a rough day and lost control of my schedule, I can rest easy knowing I got the “Do or Die List” done. This list is very, very short. I do the 100 Day Challenge: podcast, blog, 1 set of exercises. I add or remove from this list based on what I’m trying to get done. So you have two checklist like bookends to your day: “Remove Before Flight” to start and “Do or Die” to end. Good luck.
And remember seatbacks and tray tables should be in their upright and locked position.
thank you, Greg
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Too many great teachers are out there. I have so many choices and so little time.
How do I pick? Where do I start?
The problem lies in the question. I am not asking the right question. I am saying, “So much I can learn, where do I start?” I love subjects like mental toughness, productivity, goals, finding purpose. Again, I’m asking the wrong question. I’m asking, “What do I want to learn?” I should be asking, “What do I want to do?”
I remember my kid’s swim team t-shirt slogan, “If you want to swim faster, swim faster.” First do it. Get out there and give it a try. Want to be a better Dad? Start with something simple and give it a try. Spend time with your kids. You’ll struggle to find time. Then you know what to learn, time management or setting goals.
You might hesitate and pick something out of your control. Maybe you want to get promoted at work? Maybe you want to be offered your dream job? Okay. I agree it’s a little different. What does the person in the role or in the job do? How do they dress? How do they behave? What do they look like? Can you start to do what they do and get better at it?
Have you heard edge cases make bad law? It means if you design laws based on events that seldom occur, you’ll have a law that’s bad for nearly everyone. If you are thinking you agree with me some but what about that one thing, then you are trapped in edge cases. Come back to the useful, the applicable?
What do you want to do? Such a more useful question than what do you want to know. Knowing precedes doing, but you might be learning the wrong thing if it isn’t focused on the doing.
If you try to learn a programming language, I suggest you find a problem to solve and work backwards. Learn what you need to know to solve the problem. Don’t just attempt to learn the language.
If you want to eat apples, learn to climb trees. A friend introduced me to his beautiful wife and explained that’s why he learned Spanish. I have never forgot his lesson.
It is easier to focus on the learning. Schools get stuck here because it’s too hard to have real-world labs where students can experiment. Of course, it isn’t an absolute. You need a foundation, and that’s where school is perfect. After the foundation is laid, we need to find problems to solve.
We learn to drive because we want to go places. We don’t really care about cars. Where do you want to go? What do you want to have? What do you need to do in order to have it? What do you need to learn in order to do that? Want to be more motivated to learn? Focus on the doing.
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“It’s making a funny noise.” My wife had just picked up the car from the garage, and she complained about a noise. Being a former service garage adviser, I was quick to tell her it was only the metallic brakes. I explained it’s not safe to use asbestos, so we had to switch to a more noisy brake.
“Doesn’t sound like brakes.” She didn’t agree with my brake theory, and I’ve learned to listen to her over the years, so I thought it could be the new tires. She said it was worse on the highway, so I explained that it could be the new tires need to wear a bit. Sometimes new tires will sing a little at highway speeds.
“It’s getting worse.” A couple of weeks had gone by and she found my tire wearing scenario was wearing thin. While we drove two cars back from visiting a relative, talking by cell phone, she told me the noise was worse, and that now she could feel vibration in the steering wheel.
“It’s better when I hit the brake.” I told her if it’s better when you hit the brake, it’s probably a bad brake roter or something. I’d take it to the garage tomorrow and have them double check.
“I’m parking it.” She decided the noise was too much and didn’t feel safe. She parked the car at a truck stop and rode home with me. She wouldn’t let me drive it at night either.
The next day I drove back up to the truck stop, hopped in the car, and was shocked at how bad the vibration felt. Even I didn’t feel safe driving 100 yards – never mind 20 miles home. I pulled off of the road, with a good idea of what was wrong.
Sure enough, two lug nuts were missing and the other three were very loose.
For now, we will ignore the fact that we had just loaned our car to a visiting brother-in-law, who had his new baby with him. For now, we will forget that my wife was driving at highway speeds with three of our six kids with her.
Let’s not worry about what could have happened. Let’s look at why it went on so long.
I was attempting to help from a distance.
No matter how much I care for a client, I love my wife more. I was trying to be attentive, helpful and considerate. I respect her opinion. At no time did I ignore her or dismiss her concerns… but while she was in the car, I wasn’t. I didn’t drive it myself. I was remote.
Get out from behind the desk and go visit your client.
Companies that attempt to centralize customer service, standardize customer care, or outsource the helpdesk in order to save money can never get as close to their clients as someone who is right there. Service must be local. You have to walk in your client’s shoes. You have to drive the car.
That kind of customer service is impossible to fake.
I’m thankful my family wasn’t harmed by a simple mistake at the garage, and I’m grateful for it giving me such a concrete lesson in the value of LOCAL, in person.
NO substitute for face to face.
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Sunday Update Sept 27, 2020
Hello and welcome to my Sunday update. A chance for me to rest one day and give an informal update the 100 Day Challenge. I am 58 days into the challenge, and I’m going strong. Many days, including today, I’m only doing this because of the commitment I made to myself, and I want to see it through. I have to wonder why I didn’t make other commitments, and why didn’t I do this years ago? What makes this 100 Day Challenge special?
I’m sure there’s an answer is there somewhere, but I am not sure I’ll find it. When the challenge is over, I’ll have an estimated 500+ minutes of content, over 8 hours of conversation. I’m going to attempt to organize it my any natural themes I can find, and I’ll put together an ebook of some type to pass around.
I like the idea of a workbook or journal that can be used over a long period of time. I don’t believe in shortcuts. Maybe like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy? Always carry a towel and don’t panic. I can’t think of better advice. My book will be something to open in case of emergency, something to open when stuck in a rut, when you need outfitted to get out of the valley.
On a side note, have you watched the social dilemmaon Netflix? The film makes the claim we are giving out attention away to advertisers. It’s a little depressing. I recommend watching, especially if you have kids.
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I always feel a cold coming on and start to dread what's ahead. Sales Sickness is similar; however, it's easier to spot in others. You start explaining why it's been hard to close more deals. You begin to wonder if I should change things, offer new things, or discount more. You use phrases like "it's different here" or "this is that time of year" or "the economy is slow".
If not cured, you'll end up losing and removing yourself or missing your targets by so much that you’ll need to part ways. I do think there's a cure, but it takes action.
You need to move -- both physically and mentally. My car sales boss always told me when he was in a slump he’d get a haircut and come to work early. I agree with him and I get lots of haircuts. Like a videogame, you need power-ups. If it's a cold sickness, you need to rest and maybe take vitamin C (no real cure is known but it's worth a try). If it's Sales Sickness, you need to sharpen the saw as Steven Covey is famous for saying. Study your company, what you offer, and how it's done. Find out the “why” behind your offering. Call a rep that's having a better day and ask questions. Don't spread your disease. Ask questions to learn. Don't confide and complain and talk about how tough it is. No one wants to hear and besides your Mom, no one really cares.
And physically, go for a long walk, get up 30 min earlier, go to bed an hour sooner, play with the kids -- just do something to get the blood pumping. Changing the body will quickly change the mind. William James, the father of modern psychology, told us over a 100 years ago that if you act cheerful, you’ll soon become cheerful. There is science behind a certain amount of fake-it-till-you-make-it, at least with attitude.
Send me note, and I'll talk with you about a plan to correct your course. The key is to act sooner. Watch for signals and ask for help early and often. It always starts with a poor attitude and not taking ownership for performance. The refs aren't fair, but it's part of the game. Learn to play through it.
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Natasha was her name. She didn’t know us, and we didn’t know her, but she changed our lives. My wife and I were considering adopting a baby. We had spent a couple of years asking questions, visiting agencies, and wondering about how to best go about this decision.
We learned a lot along the way. We were told it isn't about finding the perfect baby. It's about the baby finding good parents. We were told you don't become the parent you want to be. You become the parent you have to be. Parenting is a game of mirrors. The children reflect you, your attitude, language, culture. More is caught than taught. You don't limit the number of caring, loving, safe people in your life, and you eliminate the rest no matter who they are, or how they are related. It's connection not correction. Few things are truly worthy, and adopting is one of those worthy things. These lessons and more came slowly. It wasn't a weekend seminar or accelerated learning course. It took time and learning happened through application, mistakes, and a string of second attempts.
Our strategy changed when we saw Natasha on a web page of waiting children. Instead of “Why?” we thought “Why not?” Natasha was about 12, and once we were open to older children, we found out we needed to be licensed as a foster parent. This started our journey to adopt 6 kids and work with several more. We didn't have a plan from the beginning. We didn't start out to adopt 6 kids. We aren't doing it for the kids. We are doing it for us, and we learned along the way.
Business is the same. Strategy is the same. We learn through a string of second attempts. The strategy is refined, crafted over time. I'm not talking about culture. Culture is who you are as a company; it's what you practice. I'm talking about your plan to deliver on the promises you've made. How are you going to deliver?
I love Tom Peters' idea of Ready, Fire, Aim. We spend a lot of time aiming and run out of time to fire again. One of the best demonstration of this is the Marshmallow Challenge. Kids are better at it than adults. They try first and then adjust.
I'm not saying you don't have a plan. I’m saying the plan guides; it doesn’t demand. The plan, the strategy is crafted through experience, and you keep what works.
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Part II – Progress is a temptation.
Some endeavors do lend themselves to counting, to progression. Yesterday, I was talking about the pursuit of mastery where measurement is the enemy. What about production type jobs? I can’t pay the bills without profits, and I can’t wait to see what happens at the end of each month. I must know where I stand and be able to adjust early and often.
What about starting a new job? Would I have 30, 60, 90-day goals? I will also have paths I’ll choose toward mastery of the new job, and these paths will not track progress. Paths like daily practice of successful habits or continual learning. What about my short-term goals? Do I abandon the idea? Of course not. On the contrary, I’ll have aggressive short-term goals that will lead to successful long-term goals. I believe in a flywheel effect of momentum. A great daily production model creates a great week that creates a great month and so on.
The tough part of answering 30, 60, 90-day question is the lines blur. I don’t get to demarcate clearly between each month, but I can emphasis different agendas. I like to use the What, Why, How sequence. First 30 days, I’ll focus on the ‘what’. What is the job, product, company, prospect profile, client list. Second 30 days, I switch to ‘why’. What’s the why behind the brand and product? What’s my why? What’s my story. I’m just like everyone else, I buy into a great story. I get motivated watching a story unfold. I need to know why. And for the 90-day mark, I’ll focus on ‘how’. How am I going to get the job done? How do I create the machine to produce reliable results? I haven’t waited two months before wondering about ‘how’ of course, but I did have other foundational questions to answer. By day 60, I should be ready to double down on the ‘how’. A constant theme is to have an impact from day 1. Find ways to make a difference, even when I am new.
Somewhere during the 3rdmonth, I’ll be able to create a new set of 30, 60, 90-day goals and even visualize 1, 3 and 5-year goals. These goals will change over time, but I’ll refresh the goal list every 6 months using Peter Drucker’s 5 questions:
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What do I want to be remembered for?
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Who do I want to be remembered by?
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What do those people find important?
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How am I going to measure the value I bring?
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What’s my plan?
The answer to Drucker’s 5 questions will influence my goals, especially the 3 and 5-year goal.
I will also keep in mind what Drucker’s said about efficiency. “Nothing is worse than efficiently doing what didn’t need to be done in the first place.” These efficient tasks are the slack in the system. Slack cost money, and I can keep that money if I can cut out the slack.
Ask yourself a few questions before taking on a project or task:
· Am I the right person for this task?
· Can I contribute?
· Do I need help?
· Should this be done by me?
I am not talking about being lazy or avoiding work you don’t want to do. I’m talking about focusing your time and energy where it makes the most good and the greatest impact. The days are short, and time will run out. Focus on what matters. All you have to give is your attention and energy. Don’t waste it.
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I love it when ideas come together. I keep a list of what I believe. I collect principles and hard-fought lessons. One of those beliefs is “Love the Plateau.” I got the idea from George Leonard. His little book on Mastery is a treasure. It's about the work, the practice. Growth comes in surprise burst surrounded by long stretches of seemingly flat gains. The flat periods are needed to build the base for growth. You must love the plateau to reach mastery.
I stumbled upon the lesson again but in a very different context. I teach at a Jesuit university, and they offered us a chance to make a spiritual exercise with some guidance from a priest. The priest sends us a short video with some hints, lessons, and ideas on how best to approach the exercises. He cautioned against the temptation to measure progress. He said progress is a temptation. If I focus on progress, I’ll be disappointed or at least focused on the wrong thing. The exercises are about an adventure to get to know God. The exercises are not about progression through the book.
How similar to “love the plateau”? The key is to never give up, to keep going. Progress can be a weight too great to carry. I can feel like I’m not far enough along, or it’s hopeless because I have so far to go. I remember my 5thgraders listening to my 8th grader play violin, and they sighed because she was so good. They forgot she was worse than them when she was in 5thgrade. The key was daily practice, not progress.
I believe this is why diets are so hard to follow, and New Year’s resolutions are nearly worthless. We are all about the progress. We forget the path. Stay on the path and keep going. I recently heard a saint’s moto was Siempre Adelante, meaning Always Forward. I love it.
Change dieting to one meal, one decision. Change New Year’s resolutions to a new path, ignore progress, and always forward.
I get to add “progress is a temptation” to my list of beliefs. And I get to use it every day while I’m on the 100 Day Challenge. What’s on your list?
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Some other lessons I learned from the tough colonel:
Protect your people. He was always more concerned about our welfare and our preparedness than he was about anything else. If someone needed equipment, he made sure it was delivered.
Eat last. He did eat last in the lunch line. If there wasn’t enough of a favorite dish, he’d go without. The team saw this and would skip out to make sure he got it anyway. He didn’t stop at the lunch line. He always got a computer upgrade last, he rode in the older vehicle, took the worst schedule on holidays. He went last as a visible, tangible way to put us first.
Demand high standards. His expectations were high. He earned the right to demand it. Even when we missed his standards, we still were above others, and we worked hard to not miss twice.
Only complain up. He never complained downward, and he wouldn’t allow it from his junior officers either. If you didn’t agree, you could go to the person above you and discuss it. You were not allowed to complain to peers or to share any gossip of any kind.
Fix the checklist. He was a pilot, so he lived off of checklists. This was in the very early days of personal computers, so everything was still on paper. Paperwork wasn’t quick or easy, but he didn’t care. The checklist would be followed and fixed when needed, no exceptions.
So many more lessons I’m sure. I just can’t think of them at the moment. I grew up in the Air Force, ages 17 to 24. Colonel Worthington wasn’t the only officer that shaped my leadership style, but he certainly was the lead. In closing, I’d like to say thank you.
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Zig Ziglar promised us that we’d get all we want in life if we helped enough other people get what they want. I didn’t realize how true this is. I had a conversation recently with someone that wants to be a leader. I feel for them because I think they want to skip over being a follower. The definition of a leader isn’t too hard. Do you have people following you? Are you the type of person that people want to follow?
Let’s walk through the goal setting framework mentioned by Zig Ziglar, Be, Do, Have. What do you want to have? The position of leader. What do you need to do to get this position as a leader? You need to get people to follow. What do you have to be to get people to follow? A person who people want to follow.
I know it sounds over simplified, but are you a person to follow? What does a person worth following look like to you? To me, it is a person willing to help. A person that’s honest and honorable. Someone who is what they say they are. Someone who thinks about my good as well as their good. I want to get the most out of me, so I’m drawn to people who want to get the most out of me also.
A leader gets the most out of the team. Jocko Willink and Leif Babin talk about this in their book, Extreme Ownership. There are no bad teams, only bad leaders. This is a hard one to accept. I want to blame others, to blame the environments, the pandemics, the politics, the company. Leader accepts responsibility and takes action to make it happen. If you are a person wanting to lead, become a great follower. Do the work to help people succeed.
I found out that my son returns for a second shift to help his buddy. My son is assigned to wash up after breakfast as part of his work study at his boarding school. That’s all he has to do. He returns at lunch to help his buddy that has the same chore. He’s being a great follower, and I’m so proud. He doesn’t want to be leader. He steps up and does what needs to be done. He is first willing to help before asking others to help. He leads by example without even knowing. I find this beautiful.
You want to be a leader? Show up early and help the leaders in place get ready for the day. Be available. Be a life-long student. Have character. The world needs leaders who are willing to act.
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Sunday Update Sept 20th, 2020
Episode number 51. It’s Sunday, so I take the day to rest and give a simple update as to the progress and direction of the podcast. Yesterday was the mid-way point on my way to 100. I’m a little excited, but it didn’t last long. I’m back at it tomorrow with the back half to complete.
I figured out how to add apple podcast to the distribution list. It was easier than I thought. I’m not sure why I waited so long, but it’s going now.
I was offered a new class to teach next semester. This is an introduction to technology for business majors. The class sounds like fun, and I’ll be one of three instructors. First time that I’ll teach as part of a team. I look forward to figuring it out.
As for the podcast, I’m eager to see where it goes. Seems to have a life of its own at times. I’m working through content that I’ve written before, and I’m updating it as I go. Somedays, I don’t really like what I’m finding. I’m not feeling it, so I do have a technique I learned from others. I got it from two places. The first was a journaling technique from the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and the other was a copy writing course, which I can’t recall the exact name. Both sources recommended a form of free writing. I attempt to write without restrictions. It’s okay to use paper or type. I type because I can go a little faster, and it’s already one step closer to publishing if something good comes up. The trick is to continue to write even if you can’t think of anything to write. You literally can write, “I can’t think of anything to write, so I’m writing this, and I’ll write it again.” I keep going on about anything and everything. Without fail, I find a thread to follow to a decent idea. I can take 5 to 20 min, but it always works. I try to do this type of writing often. I really like what I find. I don’t believe it’s magic. I just think my brain, like yours, has a lot of disorganized thoughts that can come together when forced through writing. I’ll see what happens this week. I’m excited to find out.
Here’s to the next 49 episodes. I haven’t decided what to do when I reach 100, but I do think I’ll pause for a week or two and see what happens.
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Today marks the half-way point. I have looked forward to this a while. I remember being around day 5 thinking, “What have I done?” Even now sitting at 50, I’m not sure how I’ll make it to the end. I don’t plan on quitting. I guess it’s that simple. Like Dori in the Nemo movie, “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.”
I’m intrigued with activities like swimming, riding a bike, parenting. I’m not sure what to label the attribute that intrigues me, and if you do, please let me know. What is it about these types of activities that require experience? You can’t learn how to swim without getting wet. I’ve talk about this before, but I can’t leave it alone. The more I consider it that more I begin to wonder if there is any skill or activity that’s achievable without experience. Some require more experience, and some aren’t assisted much from book learning or talking. Like bike riding, I’m not sure how much reading a book about it would help a kid ride a bike. Even a 100 Day Challenge is only a thought unless you struggle to meet the challenge for 100 days. Do I now after 50 days know what a 100 Day Challenge is like? No. I don’t. I have a better idea than I did at day zero or 5, but I don’t know what the next 50 will bring. Could I read about it somewhere? Sure. But my ignorance would remain.
One of the reasons I’m interested so much is that I teach. I teach college students how to sell and how to manage salespeople. How close can I bring the students to understanding the real world? Not very close. I can prepare them to learn faster when they meet experience, and that’s about the best I can do. Realizing the limitations of my classroom inspires me to innovate, to experiment.
I consider myself a guide. This podcast is called Valley Guides for that reason. I want to offer clues that might help. I want to warn you about the traps and dangerous spots, help you pack for the journey. Maybe that’s the best I can do? I am more of an outfitter. I’m not taking the journey with you. I’m only talking to you as you prepare.
What can an outfitter do? Maybe a lot? I can teach what I learned the hard way. The mistakes I’ve made. I can tell the students what to pack with checklists, books, scenarios, training techniques. I can prepare them for what it’s going to feel like. I can tell you that Nebraska has cold winters, but when an exchange student from Spain shows up with his winter coat, I realize I failed to communicate what cold means.
This is what I like to consider. This is the mystery I investigate. This is the reason I continue the 100 Day Challenge. I find it useful and instructive, and I need to go first if I’m going to tell you about it. Plus, I have to admit that I’m having fun along the way.
So happy halfway point to me, and I’ll see you on the next 50.
Thank you
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We love the natural born hero. Superman didn’t learn to be superman. He didn’t practice being superman. He was born superman. Superman has done more harm to us than any villain ever could. We know superman isn’t real, but we still hold on to the natural born idea. We love to pick the winning horse early, to spot a tendency and extrapolate into the future. The trouble with our natural born idea is that it’s wrong. The research is plentiful, but we still hold on to an old idea.
I have a humorous story to introduce the possibility we’ve got it wrong. My wife and I adopted our children. Our oldest is Native American. When she was about 8, she went to a summer camp. One of the events at camp was archery. She didn’t tell anyone, but she knew she would be a natural at archery. She was Native American after all, and everyone knows Native Americans are naturally great with the bow and arrow. She walked up to the line with all the confidence of an Olympic medalist. You might have guessed the outcome. She had never shot an arrow before. I’m not even sure she had ever held a bow. The arrow went wildly to the right and into the grass. She learned the hard way that morning that you have to practice, even if you are a Native American.
What about a genius? A genius is the same idea as a natural born hero. Even I believe in some variation. Just like some people are tall and others aren’t, I do think some people have a greater capacity than others, but the range is much narrower than I had previously thought. We can be fooled into thinking someone is a genius. We see years of concentrated effort, and we want to believe they were born that way.
What about a natural born salesperson? Again, it doesn’t exist. We learn to be a salesperson. Some people might learn early. My Mom sold Mary Kay cosmetics my entire childhood. She was listening to Zig Ziglar talk about selling as long as I can remember. I’m sure my early education combined with my need to make money played a much larger role than any natural born talent.
Maybe you’ve seen the scene from the movie, Wolf of Wall Street, where the main character asks, “Sell me this pen?” It’s a famous and odd test of selling ability. Can you sell the pen? What I want to take away from the scene isn’t how to sell a pen. What I want to show in the scene is how to sell a pen must be taught and can be taught. Everyone can sell a pen once you are shown how to sell a pen. You can get better with practice. Someone who’s already been selling might not know the pen example. After being shown once, they’ll quickly be an expert. You might be looking in and see this as proof of natural born talent. All the expert did was transfer prior knowledge and skill to the pen test. The expert didn’t need to practice as much because they didn’t require as much new learning. The framework was already in place.
I’m writing this is to give you hope. Most of us didn’t focus on one topic or skill long enough to reach any special ability or success. We might give up and believe we aren’t smart enough. Don’t confuse Hollywood scripts for the real world. In the real world, there’s always hope.
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A friend of mine has done very well taking over poor performing businesses and turning them around. I guess you could say he flips businesses. I asked him what's the method? What's the plan? He said he comes in and figures out the one or two activities that matter. Gives those two activities everything they need and lets everything else suffer.
Seems like a good idea for my own professional life. My professional life, like yours, is my business. I don’t get to flip it for profit; although, that would be cool. I do get to reinvent and continue to improve, and that’s a major theme of the podcast.
First, I must know where I want to go. Work life is so much easier than real life. At work, I can be told sell more. The real world of relationships and parenting is much more difficult. When I ask, “Where do I want to go?” in this article, I'm only talking about work.
What's my job? I'm not asking my title. I mean what is it I get paid to do? Is it keep-my-boss-happy? Is it make-my-boss-look-good? Is it sell-more-and-shut-up? I will get fired if I don't do my job, so I must be honest. I'm writing this more for the sell-more-and-shut-up type of job, but the idea works for other jobs too.
What are the top 3 things at my job: Of course, sell more and close deals, but that's the results. What's the work? What's the lever to pull that moves a deal forward?
So many tempting, good-sounding activities beg for my attention, like webcasts, birthday committees, fund raisers, and feedback surveys. What are the top 3 activities?
- Search for the right prospect to chase.
- Chase the right prospects.
- Tell people a story where they win.
Notice I didn't say talk on and on about my product and all the benefits. Notice I didn't say show how my price is better than someone else. Notice I didn't say just flatter my client.
My clients are people, and people live out a story. Find the people with a story that gets better if they use what I am selling. Put my offering in the client’s story. Don't leave it up to their imagination.
What if you aren’t in sales? What if you just need to get promoted or get more time on your boss’ calendar? Tell the story where your boss or partner or co-worder is better off doing what you suggest. Remember they are the hero in their story, and they don’t care what you know until they know you care. The Golden Rule of Friendship, according to Jack Schafer, is ‘make people feel good about themselves.’ I agree with Jack.
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It was a project for fun. Something to show the kids. I was going to write an app. First, I had to learn the language, get access, setup the environment, so I signed up for some free on-line courses that look promising. I started, and I started, and I started -- each time getting distracted and lost in the details.
I stumbled up MIT's App Inventor. I downloaded the kit, synced with my android tablet and following the simple instructions, I create a magic 8-ball app. The kids loved it. When you shook the tablet, a new answer would appear, and I got to edit the answers. I had answers like, "go clean your room" or "time to take a nap". They laughed and laughed, but I was a little scared.
My concern has flipped from how-do-I-do-this to what-am-I-going-to-do. This was huge for me. Without the technical gate to keep most people away, what would I do? What app can I think of that is worth creating?
Have you heard of the DIKW Model?
- Data
- Information
- Knowledge
- Wisdom
Software tools like MIT's app inventor push us up the scale from information or knowledge to wisdom. As the tools get better and AI begins to truly come of age, we'll find most jobs are simply software that needs to be written.
I know I'm preaching to the choir, but we need to focus on continual learning to expand our experience and knowledge. We need to look for wisdom. Bring new ideas to the table. I made a living in the 90s with the power of 'how'. I knew how to make a computer do what it was supposed to do. Now the computer does most of that itself. The important part now is what do you want the computer to do for you. I think that's what people are talking about when they say digital transformation. We are off to the races and so much work is left to be done. Good luck!
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It's take about an hour to fly from England to Germany. We had picked up 5 brand new graduates. Tomorrow these new team members would fly off to join the 1st Gulf War. The normal training program for our computer system on board the aircraft was 6 weeks. We had one hour.
Lockheed had trained our team on the system originally. The trainer started in the top left corner of the keyboard and explain each key, one at a time. It was mind numbing and nearly useless. Government contract at it's best. As a group of instructors, we had expanded and rewritten the entire program. We had a schedule of training flights and classroom instruction to fully prepare someone to use the system. A instructor would sit by a student and walk through the functions of the system. The demands of supporting the offensive didn't allow for the normal training program. The schedule didn't even give us notice to prepare. We found out about picking up the new students from England, and we knew all they would get for training was the return flight to Germany the day before they had to use the system.
We had zero distractions, and I had the students' full attention. I started with the function that would be used 80% of the time, ignored all trivia, and circled out from that center key. I've heard people talk about being in the zone. This was one of those times. It was electric. What could be achieved in a single hour of intense focus with a clear purpose was amazing. The feeling of being the right person, in the right place, at the right time was life changing. I had tasted what it was like to be really good at something and be on a team of other great people. It took all I had to keep up, and I loved it. I've been searching for that setting and feeling ever since.
I am so thankful to have experienced that flight. I have a concrete idea of where I belong and what I am meant to do. Every job I have ever had is compared against that flight. Am I part of a high performing team? Can I count on my teammates? Does it take all my focus and energy to keep up? Are we focused on something worth while? Are we helping people?
Maybe you aren't in that type of role today. I would suggest focusing on gratitude. Find the small things to celebrate and get better at your job. Be the person other people will come to for help. Only emotions endure. People are attracted to energy and focus. Add to people's lives. As you work to improve, to give more, you will notice the job is better than you had thought. Develop a fire in the belly for what you are doing. If you must, begin to look for new opportunities, but do it from a place of gratitude and power, not complaining and weakness.
If you can't sell yourself on what you are doing, let me know. We can think about it together. Remember today's the only day you get!
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Col. Chris Hadfield is an amazing guy, and in his book, An Astronaut's Guide to Life on Earth, he describes getting ready. He's always getting ready. He started getting ready to be an astronaut at 9 years old after seeing the moon landing. What I found so interesting is Canada didn't even have a space program.
Col. Hadfield lived the life an astronaut would have lived and put himself in the best possible position for success. If he didn't make it, he still lived a great life. Enjoying the journey is key (actually his wife enabled his journey all the way).
Col. Hadfield is a guy who prepares, who gets ready. That's who he really is. Who are you?
I'm a big believer in identity. Who we think we are determines how we live, and how authentic we feel, and dare I say how happy we can be? Some labels are static, like "I'm the boss." or "I'm a top performer." or "I'm a vegan." Some labels are unspoken, like "I always win." or simply "I'm not that type of guy." When these static labels break, we suddenly find out we aren't who we've always thought we were. This cognitive dissidence, this break in who we are causes a lot of stress and confusion. We can become bitter or desperate. On the mild end, we are distraught when we receive criticism or find ourselves in a slump - unable to fight our way out.
Jane McGonigal, in her book Superbetter,introduced me to the idea of fixed versus growth mindsets. A fixed mindset is like my kid thinking they are smart and always know the answer. When she got to a question that was tough, she'd fall apart and struggle because that's not who she is. Now we use a growth mindset and talk about how hard she works and how she's the one that asks for help early and keeps going until she finds the answer. You'd be shocked in the difference this had made in her life.
Again, I wonder, who am I? I am a learner. I am someone who is always looking for a solution. I have a deep willingness to prepare. Faith in who I am has come from years of experience. The labels can’t break. The labels get stronger as I continue to seek and find.
What about you? Are you trying to live up to a fixed label that can break?
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Sunday Update
Today is 44. It’s Sunday, and it’s time for an update. Sundays are more of a free-flowing report on my progress to date. It’s meant to give me a break without stopping.
Sept 19th, Saturday, is day 50!!! The halfway point.
What am I learning? I’m not seeking a lesson, but I’m learning, nonetheless. Remember the saying more is caught than taught. Life is also tossing us lessons.
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I am not a quitter. This might seem odd, but I’m feeling a sense of confidence in finishing 44 days out of 100. I’m just working on today, perpetually. Each day is today. I’m not worried about day 45, 50, or 99. I’m just focused on today. That has helped a ton. As each day goes by, I gain steam. I am realizing I am not a quitter.
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Juggling opposing agendas is not easy, but it is possible. I am using an iPhone app timer. I don’t think there is anything special about one app versus another, but this one is easy to use. It’s called Time Timer. It’s a red disc that vanishes as time goes by. I get a quick, visual sense of how much time is left. I do short, 25-minute sprints on one topic and then switch to a new pressing subject. I rest at ease knowing I’ll return soon. This has given me the freedom to make progress on a few different fronts, stay focused, and get a sense of accomplishment multiple times throughout the day.
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“When” matters. The 100 Day Challenge is not my fulltime job. I’m teaching, studying a new technical topic, searching for a new job, and being a Dad and Husband. The Challenge comes last in priority, and I always get it done. The earlier I find room to fit it in the better. I can get up before the day begins. I can scratch some notes while waiting to pick up a kid. Whatever I can do early, helps me later to get it done.
I’m excited to discover what lessons lie ahead. I’m sure I’ve missed more than I’ve caught, but I’m grateful for what has stuck so far. I often wonder why I started and why am I sticking to it? I think I started because I sensed I needed something to keep me going. Like a river that hits a flat, wide spot, my flow was slowing down. I needed something to work on that was free, challenging and rewarding. Why am I sticking to it? I think mainly it’s consensus that I’ve been doing it this long, and I don’t want to throw it away for nothing. Plus, I want the good feeling to continue.
If you think you need something to chew on and see what happens, reach out. Let’s find a challenge for you.
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Each day is full of little signals. Like Pavlov's dogs we are trained to react and often we don't even realize it. Peter Bregman wrote a book called 18 Minutes. He has a clever idea to manage your day. It's built around getting back on track when you drift off, and one trick is to have a trigger. In his case, it's the hourly chime on a wristwatch. When the chime sounds, it's your trigger to examine your day. Are you working on what needs to get done, on what you planned to get done?
I learned a trigger of my own, the hard way. In 2007, I was having a good time selling technology. I was doing well, but I wasn't satisfied. I wanted a different role in our company. I had to quit to get it (different story), and I did get the new role. I was determined to do it right. I sent 20 hand-written cards each day to prospective clients explaining how different I was going to be and warning them that I'd be calling in a week's time. It was a perfect plan. No pushy sales tactics for me. I worked very hard and after three months I had exactly zero to show for my efforts. Three months is key because the accounts receivable I had built up in my old role was gone. I was at zero.
The nice thing about having your back against the wall is you've only got to worry about one direction. Following the advice of my first sales manager, I got a haircut and decided something had to change. I purchased a large paper, fold-out map of Nebraska and circled every town with a hospital. I was selling to all the small hospitals in the state. The next day I rented a car and hit the road. I pulled up to the first hospital and sat in the parking lot. It was tough to get out of the car. That was my signal. That obstacle is the path I had to choose.
Ryan Holiday wrote a book called The Obstacle is the Way, and I found out my idea is very old. It happens to be a Stoic philosophy. I didn't know it at the time. I still use it every day. Whenever I feel the resistance, I know it's the direction to go. I know I need to act.
So that's why I had to give my name as Batman when Starbucks asked -- I felt resistance to the idea.
By the way, I met 7 people out of 9 attempts on my first day of no-notice visits. I was completely transparent. I'd simply walk in, find the receptionist, and say, "I'm a vendor from Omaha. I don't have an appointment, and if the IT manager isn't busy, I'd like to say hello." It worked nearly every time. But first I had to act.
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When you wrestle with a commitment, who are you arguing with? Let’s say you made a plan to get in shape. You download a workout schedule, buy some shoes, and a watch. You are ready. The alarm goes off the next morning. You debate the rewards of sleeping a bit more vs. going for a jog. You decide to roll over. You wake with a heavy guilt for not running. Does it seem like two characters in the play here? Why are you guilty? It’s you that decided to roll over.
You had an idea of yourself running. This idea is lost when you roll over. Are you grieving the loss? Can you grieve something you never had in the first place?
I was once a German linguist. I studied German intensely while in the Air Force for about 9 months at the best language school in the country. I lived in Germany. I didn’t practice, and like running, the ability will pass. The fluency will fade into oblivion. People will console you that it’s like riding a bike. Maybe. But I did lose what I had. I grieve this stupid mistake. I should have kept at it, even a little. This grief seems real to me. I did have the skill once. I don’t have it now. That’s different than grieving something you never had like the ability to run, being in shape, or slim. The New Year’s resolution is almost comical. Does anyone stick to it just because of a date?
I think the grieving is the loss of your story. You started a story when you bought the shoes, downloaded the app and told your friends, “I’m a runner.” You lost the story when you rolled over to sleep instead of getting up. Did you have to lose the story?
Maybe if you could hold on to some version of the story then you could keep going? Maybe, just maybe you need a better story to tell? I’m not sure I have an exact answer, but I do feel like I have a clue. I’m on the right trail.
Some stories have a fixed date and strict boundaries. These stories are fixed in time. When it comes to our life’s story, you have some flexibility. One problem with your story telling is you can trick yourself into thinking it will never end. You know you are going to die, but you think it won’t be soon. Your story doesn’t need to progress. You have time.
I’ll let you in on a secret. Any good story is what we call a page turner. What’s at the bottom of each page that’s going to get you to keep reading, keep turning the page? The story can be a 1000-page saga, and if it doesn’t hook your early and often, you’ll put it down.
Here’s some guidelines to keep you story going.
1 Know, believe it will be okay. You are worth it. You do matter, and it will be okay. Few things you do can’t be undone or improved upon. Give yourself a break.
2 Forgive yourself. You are going to make mistakes. Count on it. No matter how sincere your commitment, you are going to slip, so have a plan. What are you going to do? First forgive yourself. When I was in POW training, we were taught when someone makes a mistake, bring them in closer. The alienation will only cause them to fail further. In this case, you are your own team. Forgive yourself. Bring yourself in when you mess up. Be honest. Regroup.
3 You’ll be right back. You aren’t going anywhere for long. If you roll over, know you’ll be back in two minutes or tomorrow morning, but you aren’t going away. The story continues.
4 Realize it is your story. We have enough of everyone else. The world doesn’t need one more author, athlete, singer, or business phenom. The world does need you. Your unique approach. Your signature style. Embrace the differences and enhance the flavor.
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When do you declare a disaster?
I’m not worried about anything extreme and sudden. We are good at those. I’m talking about the frog in slowly heating water type of problem. You’ve heard the story about how to boil a frog. I’m not sure why this would ever be tested, but it rings true. If you put a frog in boiling water, the frog will jump out. If you place it in warm water, it will stay put, and you can slowly heat the water to boiling. I hope this isn’t actually true, but the metaphor gets the point across.
When should the frog have declared an emergency and jumped out?
In history class as a teen, the teacher asked, “When we would fight for our rights?” None of us knew exactly what our rights were and if they were being threatened or not. We were a frog in warm water.
A missionary friend of mine was shot at while living in Ethiopia. She turned and covered her daughter, and she has buckshot in her back to this day, some 50 years later. She told me the list of what to take a bullet for is very, very short, and everything else doesn’t really matter. I think she knows when to pull the alarm.
If you are driving, you should know a solid warning light on your dash isn’t as important as a blinking warning light. You should pull over and call for help if the light is blinking.
My point is we have better systems in some places than others. Think of smoke alarms, motion sensors, or doorbells. We have triggers and alarms built-in for some occasions. What if we have missed a place? Like the intersection that only gets a stop sign after someone has died. Or the reinforced cockpit door on Sept 12th.
In our own lives, our day-to-day living, where do we need an extra stop sign or a reinforced cockpit door? It starts with awareness. Awareness begins from failure. Set goals, let it be known what you intend to do. Don’t do this for bragging rights or record keeping. Write down your intentions so you see where you struggle. I promise you it will be where the water is warm, and you don’t jump in time. You could have done more if you would have started earlier. Problems are always smaller in the beginning. Course corrections are easy when they are frequent and slight, but you can get lost if you wait too long.
If you have noticed, now what? Sound the alarm, break the glass? Well, maybe. The correction should fit the crime. A common stall is from overwhelming goals or agendas or to-dos. Have a remedy ready before needed. Don’t wait and figure out what to do. It will happen, so be prepared.
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Commit to working on something of relative importance for a minimum amount of time before worrying about alternatives. Have a when-in-doubt list of projects. What’s a minimum amount of time? It varies, but I’d say about 15 min. Bring it down to 5 if you need. The trick is to have it achievable. Something you can always do when feeling overwhelmed. What’s relatively important? I’m sure you have one or two projects that are burning for progress. The key is to decide and act; don’t freeze, so forgive yourself if you pick #3 or #5 instead of #1. You did the time, progress will be made (no matter how small), and you’ll have a new perspective in a few minutes.
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Keep lots of notes. You will forget your place, and it takes too long to refresh each time. Reduce the switching cost by taking lots of notes. Scan your notes before beginning.
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Have a list. And then put the list away. Choose 1 thing from the list and get to work. Don’t stare at the list.
All of this is for when you get stuck, feel overwhelmed, and can’t be where you need to be, mentally. If you are at work, be at work. If you are home, be at home. Don’t live in-between in the land of half-ass commitment. That’s the warm water for the frog.
Best of luck. Let me know what works for you. Greg
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"There is no such thing as tough. There is trained and untrained. Now which are you?" Denzel Washington, Man on Fire
Do you believe in having a hot hand? Batting streak? Lucky streak? Natural Born? Phenom? Prodigy? Turns out these don't really exist. Most are within the wide bounds of normal and others are more practiced. Picasso produced an estimated 50,000 pieces of artwork.
Have we evolved in the last hundred years? Are we faster, stronger? 4 min mile is proof. No one before 1954. 1964 a high school kid did it. And the current record is nearly 17 seconds faster than Bannister.
Of course, the human body has not improved. If we took a newborn baby from 500 BCE and raised it today, the baby would have the same chance at running the 4 min mile as any other modern baby born. What's the difference?
The difference is knowledge. Knowledge of training techniques, nutrition, and belief that it's possible. Atul Gwande's Better is a great example of someone at the top of his game pursuing still to improve. Malcolm Gladwell made the 10,000 hour rule famous in Outliers. As he's explained, you have to be careful how the rule is applied. You must practice deliberately just outside the circle of what you find possible. Practicing what you find easy will not stretch your skills.
A life worth living is a life of skills. Most skills are like swimming or parenting. You can read all you want but until you get wet or have children, you don't know anything. Selling is this way. I always smile when a selling course doesn't include practice.
So what am I suggesting? I'm suggesting we agree that training is everything. We have to train the right way and we have to train our whole lives. If you slow down, you'll be left behind.
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Tom Davenport has a very easy way to focus in on what's needed -- see the picture with the article. Divide the needs between 3 time periods: past, present, and future. And divide between known and unknown.
- Most products I've seen are good at past and present knowns -- think data visualization DOMO or Tableau. Great reports and Dashboards.
- If you want to dig into the unknown past (like why did this happen?), then you'll need something like Splunk or other logfile miners. Something to crunch a lot of data and connect the dots, usually by time stamps or other machine data that's hard for humans to notice quickly.
- Future Knowns are what most people sell as analytics -- think more excel sheet analytics. If this continues like it has been, then this will happen. If we keep driving, we'll run out of gas in 23 miles type of analytics. Nice but limited in value.
- Unknowns -- this is where all the fun lives. Past? root cause analysis.
- Present unknowns? Think retail -- what's the best next action? What do I suggest now?
- And everyone's favorite: Future unknowns -- think predictive and prescriptive. Given a wildly variable future, what's likely to happen and what should I do. This is the land of AI -- learn for me and guide me
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Not about being correct. It’s about asking the right questions.
Peter Drucker told us, “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all."
To paraphrase, there is nothing so useless as answer correctly a question that doesn’t solve the problem.
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A Sunday update!
It seems like the last update was only a couple of days ago; it has been a week already.
First a few stats. I started the 100 Day challenge on August 1st. I had already been making some podcast episodes, but I wasn’t doing anything daily.
42 episodes total.
36 days out of 100 done.
The secret is to define what counts as done. I have 3 goals: podcast, blog, and exercise. Each goal has a min, realistic, and stretch level. Most days I only achieve the minimum, but I do achieve it.
I have found I revisit some familiar ground repeatedly – maybe a different angle, but it’s the same ground. I’m getting the content out and recorded. As I mine for content, I’m discovering threads, like veins of gold. You don’t discover gold and move on to look for more. You mine what you have until it runs out. I’m working on fear, doubt, and the forces of inertia. Why do we wait, stop, freeze? Why don’t we make small moves in one direction to get progress toward any goal? I have more empathy for people in tough situations. I have a hint at why they find it difficult to do the basics. The challenges can become so high that cresting to green pasture seems impossible, so why bother?
I’m drifting into a daily podcast, and I don’t want to. Today is just an update. I give myself a break on Sunday to just talk to the few people following the podcast. Thank you. I mean it. It is part of what keeps me on track.
Labor Day is a special day to remember those that work. The army of hard-working people trying to get the job done, take care of their family, and be proud of what they have accomplished. And it marks the end of Summer. As a business community, we tend to get back to work now.
I have work to do, and I’ve hesitated for several reasons – mainly deciding on which path to take. I felt like I have to say no to one path before I can say yes to the other. This isn’t entirely true. In reality, I can say yes to one and switch when needed. I continue to learn and improve.
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When you were a kid did you play the game or refuse because you might lose? The fear of losing was too big for me when I was young. I have to forgive my younger self. The younger-me didn’t have the support needed to handle the fear. I didn’t have someone standing there to tell me everyone is afraid and being brave is to go ahead and still play. You can’t be brave without fear.
My favorite verse in the Bible is “I believe. Help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24. The verse helps me realize I can hold both faith and doubt. I can be brave and afraid at the same time. The key is to sense the fear, see it as a signal, and act. I am not an expert, but I have lived this out in business and sales for many years. I’ve experienced it first-hand.
If I am afraid, I use it like an alarm, a trigger to say I must act. Now I know what I must do. I must do that which I am afraid to do. I’m not talking about jumping off tall buildings. I’m talking about the practical work of reaching out and offering help. I’m talking about sales.
Here’s the hard part. Fear doesn’t seem to go away. I have grown in my faith that I can act, but I’m still afraid to pick up the phone or walk into the building. I still worry. Now I fortify my chances with preparation. I respect the people I’m going to contact and do a little homework to get an idea of how I can help. I don’t want to waste their time. I have a good idea I can help, or I don’t try. Maybe if I was a little braver, I’d have a bigger imagination about who I can help.
I read a story once about an attorney who had never lost a case. I think his name is Gerry Spencer. I remember he said it wasn’t that hard because he only took cases he knew he could win. I’m guessing there was a little forced humility, but I got the idea. He was afraid of losing.
One of the things I love about sales is the purity of the challenge and the fear. Few occupations have day to day fear that you can confront and learn about yourself. Some people grow cold or hard and start to treat people poorly. I had an old car manager who was divorced three times and addicted to cocaine tell me if I worked hard I could be just like him. I didn’t sell cars much longer after that.
Recently, I have had a rough few days, and it has been very good for me. I let myself believe I shouldn’t be afraid at this age, with this experience, with this training. I’m supposed to know what I am doing. I teach this for a living. I’ve been wrestling with the fear almost like a laboratory experiment. I didn’t realize why the fear was so strong or where it was coming from.
And then I listened to my favorite podcast, Finding Mastery by Michael Gervais. You should skip my podcast and listen to his. So many great episodes, and today was with Tony Blauer about Knowing Fear. I’ve heard that when the student is ready the teacher appears. Well, I was ready, and I am learning.
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I’m thinking about fear. The fear of failure. The fear of looking foolish. The fear of announcing one direction only to switch gears soon after. The fear is large and looming. I think it’s keeping me from acting in my own best interest.
What’s the cure for fear? Action, activity, movement, decisions. I don’t need to shout it from the mountain tops, but I can start walking in a direction that makes sense. Small victories, short distances, climb the next hill. Just do what I can from where I’m at with what I have.
Does that approach present a possible way out? Does it help? I think it does.
What do you do when you are afraid?
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What do you know about drilling for oil? If you are like me, not very much. I’ve been reading up on drilling for oil to explore the idea, to compare it to everyday projects. Of course, technology has improved. Oil companies do what they can to find the most likely spot to drill, but someone has to go first. The initial step is a test to see if a bigger oil deposit is possible. The first one is called a wildcat well.
Any idea what the success rate is today for a wildcat well? The success rate is about 30%. It can cost around $50 million to dig the first well. Here’s the key according to Offshore-Technologyc.om “Most of the time, wildcats fail, but the hope is, when a company drills enough of them, it will discover enough oil to cover the overall cost. “
Did you catch that? The hope is to drill enough of the wildcat wells to win. It’s all about the doing. It isn’t about the planning, the technology, the surveys, the wisdom of crowds. It’s about drilling for oil. If you want to win, you must drill.
What’s the symbol of drilling for oil mean in your context? For me, it’s prospecting – literally the same word for the oil industry. I have to prospect to survive. If I prospect enough, I win. If I don’t, I lose.
It’s about the doing. It isn’t about the clever words, effective marketing, or beautiful products. It’s the work.
If we know we need to do the work, why don’t we? Why don’t I? What gets in the way?
1) A tendency to over think it. Better to act.
2) Dread out weights action; however, action blinds the dread. You can only focus one or the other.
3) Fear of failure. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Better to swing the bat and strike than just stand there.
4) All or nothing thinking. I can or I can’t – instead realize you can improve, get better.
5) Lack of goals. Set a target and work backwards. Warren Buffet says we all overestimate what we can do in the short-term and underestimate what we can do in the long run.
Are you drilling enough wells? The oil is out there.
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Leaving the Air Force for the "real world", I had to find a job and quickly. I read a book Customers for Life by Carl Sewell. He described a world of selling cars that I found appealing. I found out much later that maybe he was seeing his world through rose colored glasses, but one of his principles was not to work somewhere that acted like a circus.
This was 1991, and you had to visit in person back then. The first dealership was noisy and had balloons, so I moved on. The next one met in a hotel conference room, seemed very professional. I wasn’t smart enough to realize the dealership itself might not be so professional. Guess what? It was very noisy, and they had balloons too.
My manager's name was Bubba, and Bubba had a lot of wisdom to share with his new pupil. One of the first rules in selling cars is you must turn over a prospect to the manager before you are allowed to let them leave. The higher-pressure car lots were very serious about this rule.
My first day on the job, my first prospect, and I let the man get in his truck and leave without telling Bubba. Now to know Bubba is to love Bubba, but he isn't easy to get to know. He cornered me and "politely" ask why I hadn't introduced the client to him before the guy left. I said the guy was an asshole. I was about to get the first of many lessons. Bubba said, "OK. You tell me one guy is an asshole, then he's an asshole, but if you tell me 4 or 5 people are assholes, and I begin to wonder, 'Who's the asshole?'" As odd as this lesson might seem, it has served me well. I'm a little slower to judge fearing I might earn a well-deserved label from Bubba.
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Do you love feedback? I do. And don’t sugarcoat it.
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I met an interesting person today. I didn’t ask him about sharing our conversation publicly, so I’ll use a fake name. I’ll use my first name, Joe.
Joe’s running his own IT business. It’s a small business, and it’s growing. We only spent 30 minutes talking. I wondered what I could share that might be useful.
Joe did make an interesting comment about consulting or business-help firms out there. He said the focus was always on more clients; how to sell to more people. He doesn’t need to sell more. He’s got the business. What he wants is to be a better run business himself. He’s right. I can think of a couple of consultants, and they are more focused on getting more business, making more money – not so much the mechanics of running a small enterprise. I have heard of EOS, Entrepreneur Operating System. I don’t have any first-hand knowledge, but it was recommended highly from someone I trust.
The first thing I recommend surprises me. Joe has to say no. Say no to nearly everything. If the dog hunts, keep it. You can waste so much time chasing the next new technology idea or system. He doesn’t have time or the energy. How is Joe going to balance operating with exploring? I’m a big believer in exploring new ideas. This is where salespeople might be able to help. Joe will need to put boundaries on this also, but he can expect a good sales team to help him stay informed of good ideas.
I highly recommend Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande. Dr. Gawande is a surgeon in pursuit of perfection, not for his ego but to save lives. The book explores the use of checklists. I couldn’t recommend it highly enough.
I think it’s important for Joe to know where his business fits, and I believe he does already. I’d share a diagram to help drive the point home. Think of a square with narrow to broad on one side, and low price to high price on the other side of the square. Where do you fit? Are you low price to a broad market like Southwest? Are you high price to a narrow market like a specialized law firm? Joe has found a niche with small medical offices, and he’s not charging much compared to competition in town, so I’d say he’s narrow focused and low price. There isn’t a right or wrong answer. The key is to realize you can’t jump the boundaries. Southwest can’t figure out how to be high priced to a narrow market, neither can McDonalds. Remember Budweiser’s attempt to have a high-priced beer? Or other airlines trying to copy Southwest? Didn’t work. Never does, so Joe has to keep to his home court – narrow focus and low priced. Dance with the one you came with.
Keep life simple. This is an extension of saying no. Stick to the few services that you do well. Find new clients if you need to grow. If you add services, you can lose your focus. I’m not saying 100% no. I’m just saying be careful. Go very, very slow on adding new services.
Joe has to control expenses. If his expenses grow, he’ll have a very hard time being low priced and still making a profit. Also fits with saying no.
The last thing I say is Joe needs vision for his clients. Where is he taking them? They are all starting at different points on a scale of technology maturity, and what is Joe’s vision of maturity. I think he has an idea, but it isn’t written down yet. We both agreed it starts with backing up and security, and were does it go from there? If Joe has a vision, then he can sell the outcomes to the clients. He can say this is what life will be like when you come with me.
I’m glad I met Joe today, and I’ll recommend his service to any small medical office I know. It was a good day. Thanks
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Just a quick note to subscribers. Feel free to skip.
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I spent a few years riding in the back of airplanes for the Air Force, and we'd have a safety debrief after any accidents. I remember one particular briefing. It's been over 30 years, so I'm sure I've forgotten the exact details, but the idea is accurate.
A blinking light indicating engine trouble held the attention of all four crew members, and the plane hit a mountain; no one was looking out the window.
It' a tragic story, and sadly, it isn't rare. Can the lesson be applied to the work environment? I think it can. I've sat across from very capable people and often been told they are too busy to entertain a good idea. Teams are forced to run so thin that they don't have people to look out the window. They don't have people to dream, wonder, check into new ideas.
As a sales rep, I'm the guy looking out the window.
I was visiting with a client and asked, "If we were new members of your team, what would you have us do?" The question led to a lengthy conversation about what should be done, what should be researched or understood.
The list of what should be done keeps growing. Who's watching out for you?
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I too suffer from this will to win without the will to prepare. I have the will, the desire to write a book, run a marathon, speak Chinese. All of these are childish dreams if I don't have the desire to prepare. Do you ever pine for success? Do you think they got lucky? Do you wait for your chance? These are signs of the disease. The antidote is daily hustle.
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Why am I writing this glimpse into my life? I’m concerned that we go about coaching and motivating all wrong. We focus on the mistakes and look only at the final results. If my story makes any sense at all, look for the spark in people and fan the flames. Focus on what’s going well and think about what can be improved.
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http://gregdyche.com/2020/08/27/do-you-believe/
Do you believe? The question requires an object. A normal response could be, “Believe in what?” In my context today, I’m talking about the result your seeking. Do you believe you will get the result if you put in the action? What if the result will take months or years? Belief comes from hearing and hearing and hearing. If you hear something often enough, you will begin to believe.
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Action is the best cure for fear, especially dread. To quote some MIT research,
“Since our brains only can consciously focus on one thing at a time, once you are in the act of doing, your fear fades away. Therefore, taking action reduces conscious fear.”
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Who are you? Are you the same person all the time? I'm not being philosophical. I'm being practical. Who I am does fluctuate a little with each context. I'm not talking about anything important. I'm taking about tools, preferences, activities.
I've often struggled with logins when I switch roles. For instance, I have personal windows account, and I have a company account, and I have a school account. Seems like I'm always logged into the wrong one at the time. I've tried different web browsers, like Firefox for school, chrome for personal, and edge for teacher life. This approach is hard to remember and easy to get mixed up. Sometimes a feature only works in Chrome anyway.
What about different user accounts on the laptop? Works wonderful.
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Are you like me? Do you get caught in a trap where the bar is too high, and if you reach the bar, you’ll just raise it again. You can’t be good enough. I’m guessing you are familiar with the imposter syndrome, but just in case, the imposter syndrome is a feeling you are faking it. A feeling you aren’t good enough, and if people only knew, you’d be discovered.
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Snowball Express. Fun movie for a kid, and it has one scene that taught me a valuable lesson. The ski-lift motor is at the bottom of the hill, and they need to get it to the top. They talk about several crazy schemes before the kid in the room asks a simple question, “Why can’t it pull itself up the hill?”
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Have you heard the world doldrum? Do you know what it means? I had to look it up to be sure. It’s a nautical term to describe a still zone circling the globe at the equator. The combination of north and south trade winds meeting and the intense heat causing the moisture to rise eliminating nearly all surface wind. Sailing ships could be stuck for weeks.
I’ve been working out the problem of the long middle of a poorly defined project. When a job, project, or season goes on too long and the end is unclear, you can get stuck in the doldrum. What can be done? How do you get out?
I'm sharing a few ideas. What's your solution?
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It’s the relationship that creates the bond that breaks when you give up. Build the relationship and earn the right to ask, “Are you giving up on me?”
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Are you striving? Are you trying to get better? Stay ahead?
What if you had help?
Valley Guides Podcast is raw, unedited and straight to the point.
I’m the host, Greg Dyche.
I’m a builder of people. I’m a guide.
I love to learn and share what I’ve found.
Join me in a conversation about getting through the valley, the tough times, the middle.
We’ll figure this out together.
It’s the conversation I’m after and in exchange, I’ll share what I’ve learned along the way.
Look for Valley Guides podcast on anchor.fm, spotify, google podcast and others.
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What if you could date an envelope to be deliver in time, not just in place?
Let’s send a note to yourself 10 years earlier? What does it say?
- Are you encouraging?
- Harsh?
- Disappointed with what you were given?
- Do you feel like opportunities were missed, time squandered?
- Would you pass along a little secret to better your chances at winning?
- Would that change who you are today? or just your environment?
Would this change what you would say to yourself 10 years in the future?
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What day you are planning to have is up to you? What can you do to help increase the odds of a great day?
- A few poor choices aren’t permission to throw in the towel.
- Eating poorly in the morning doesn’t permit over eating in the evening.
- Salvage what you can of the day. Scraps can still make a quilt.
- I let the disappointment of mistakes be an excuse for more bad behavior. Something like what’s the point, I’ve already blown it.
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Are you asking the right question? I had trouble with my door lock. The locksmith cut a new key, and the lock worked fine. It wasn't the lock. It was the key. I didn't have the wrong answer. I had the wrong question.
I've got a few tactics and ideas about asking questions.
- Tell me more about that...
- Repeat the last 3 words.
- Empathic Statements
- PESTLE acronym
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More of an update to friends that listen. I've on a 100 Day Challenge, and I thought I'd give an update on the progress and the plan.
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I share 10 ideas I use to do the best I can.
- Why pay attention to anything I say?
- What is success?
- What can you add to luck?
- Only emotions endure.
- Build a machine.
- Culture of blame.
- Daily production model.
- The playbook.
- What's the important part?
- Transparency.
- Bonus story: Drive the truck. Don't let the truck drive you.
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Mistakes only happen for 2 reasons: 1) lack of knowledge and 2) lack of attention. What are you doing to enhance your knowledge and attention? I live off of personal documentation to avoid the lack of knowledge, and I use calendars and reminders to avoid lack of attention.
I share a few of my tactics and ideas. What do you use? How do you avoid mistakes?
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Are you trying to get better at your job? Is your team getting better? Do your people know exactly what is expected? Are they surprised at yearly reviews?
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How many times do you get asked, “What do you do?” How do you answer? Before Clay Hebert, I try to use a title, like Sales VP or Instructor. Maybe a sentence or two about the particulars of the job or the industry. The trouble is you are fishing in the dark if you don’t know what the other person is interested in. Why are they asking you? It might be just so they can say what they do; it might be just small talk to break the ice and start a conversation. Or it might be genuine interest in what you do -- probably not, but it is possible.
Clay’s formula is easy enough. Here’s it is:
I (blank) people to (blank).
For example, I teach people to fish.
or I help people fly.
The goal is to be interesting, maybe a little mysterious or intriguing. The goal isn’t to be informative and complete. It’s not a job interview. It’s a social interaction.
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It’s vital to realize you are not alone. No matter what’s happened you are not the only one.
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I want to combine focus with energy. Your energy level gives quality to your focus. Imagine driving half asleep. You aren’t going to drive very well. Energy is why I don’t recommend large lunches, and I do recommend a good night’s sleep and a little exercise each day. It’s not complicated advice.
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Here’s the pivot. Valley Guides started out focused on the valley of unemployment. I’m going to expand the idea to include the journey. The valley is between where you are and where you want to be.
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Day 68. I got the news on May 28th, and it's been 68 days. How do I keep going after 68 days, 2 months? What if I have 2 more months? Redeem the time by gaining more skills. Pick a skill that will add to your value and get started. See how far you've come. Don't look at how far you have to go. The middle can be long.
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You do not have the freedom from responsibility. It is not your fault you are unemployed, but it is your responsibility to act. How you behave will echo through your families' lives. I have some ideas how to get started.
1 Action holds fear at bay.
2 Learn to free-write. Spend time with unconstrained, un-edited, uncensored writing.
3 Tell yourself, "It's possible." Les Brown taught me to say it, and it is powerful.
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How to you handle the middle ground? How do you stay productive during the long days of job searching? I think it comes down to routine and schedule. What does an ideal day look like? How close can you get to that ideal day? Can you get closer tomorrow?
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To successfully cross the valley, you need the right tools. If you were on an island and could only bring one tool, it's going to be YNAB , You Need A Budget. My wife, Kat, is the expert in the house, so I invited her to the podcast. You are going to enjoy this one. Have fun. And get YNAB
Here's our referral link (we both get a free month; I think): https://ynab.com/referral/?ref=rG0tXtKW8eUcyBSi&utm_source=customer_referral
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What must the expert remember? To be a professional job seeker, you must use a checklist.
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In case of emergency, break glass. Are you ready? Do you know when to sound the alarm? Let’s talk about it before we must.
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Do you have a struggle with where to begin? Do you ever wonder how do I get started? How about 10 easy lessons to start?
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We need a strong middle class to make America function. How?
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5 productive tips to help get through a valley.
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What does fight look like? What can you do about freezing or flying? Let's talk about it.
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How to say no when you do need to say yes.
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Raw, honest, unedited - I share what I’ve learned and where I’m going as I search for a new job. Maybe my mistake will warn someone?
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Just found out yesterday about being fired. So what’s next? What should I do? Join me as I talk about the experience. Maybe something will help others too.
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