Weekly Hypothetical: Recent Episodes

Dave, Nick, and Kieran

Posing an offbeat hypothetical every week. Call in with your answers and we'll publish the best responses we receive.

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Would you rather any drug test you ever take show high levels of cocaine use OR all of your bathroom activities be broadcast and catalogued on a professionally run YouTube channel?

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Would you rather that your emotional state was that of the person closest to you at any given time or randomly people would be able to read you thoughts without you knowing?

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Woul you rather: become a nazi about anyone eating bread OR have to barter for all purchases under $1000?

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Would you rather have you genitalia moves to your left hand (female or male) OR always have to carry an egg and you get tased every time it breaks?

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Would you rather have to plan and execute a bank vault robbery with your three best friends OR your best non-doctor friend removes your appendix with only verbal guidance from a doctor?

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Question No sarcasm or Slow clap all jokes • Clarification please! • Don't you laugh at me ! • That would be soooo awful • Humour vacuum • Winner STOP PRESS its not Nick

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Would you rather always have to try to get the whole restaurant to sing a song with you OR always have to insist your meal be discounted in some way because it wasn't up to standard?

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Would you rather get a flat tire every time you are in a vehicle of any kind OR every website you go to you have to use Forgot My Password every time.

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Would you rather face a Grizzly Bear (with a 9 inch hunting knife) or a Pack of Jackals in a fight to the death?

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Would you rather have the bowel control of a baby and have to be cleaned up by others OR have to act like you're on a roller coaster every time you're eating.

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Would you rather always be surrounded by a rowdy bachelorette party OR clog every toilet you ever use.

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Would you rather go back in time 1,000 years or forward 1,000 years.

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Would you rather have to ride a giant swing between two sky scrapers OR be dropped in a random place in Afghanistan?

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Would you rather skip breakfast and lunch or take a urine shot each morning?

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Would you rather have to pay for everything you but with dimes OR only travel places through self-propelled means (i.e. walking like, bike, etc)

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Would you rather ...

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Would you rather always have to wear a Hawaiian shirt OR always have to have 2 dangly penis shaped earrings hanging from both ears?

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Would you rather have to always tell the truth no matter what OR see ghosts of dead people for 72 hours after they die?

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What if suddenly from now all every baby that's born is a set of twins?

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Would you rather be Marty McFly from Back to the Future right after breaking up his parents OR be Andy Dufrense in Shawshank Redemption starting the day he arrives in prison?

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Would you rather live for the rest of your life as a ghost in your house or a copy of your brain on the internet?

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Would you rather have to always wear running shoes which are tied together or would you rather have an itch that always comes back within minutes of scratching it?

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Your home permanently had two inches of sand on the entire floor

Or

Everything you eat or drink has a cockroach on it.

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Would you rather have to cut off all your sleeves and insist everyone always call you "pipes" or always drive a broken down pickup truck blaring White Snake?

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You can only ever eat lettuce for the rest of your life OR you may only talk in a whisper.

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Every time you eat you have to throw your first fork-ful in the ground OR 5 times a year you projectile vomit with no warning

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Would you rather, all your friends and acquaintances will forget who you are OR you blackout for 48 hours anytime you hear a Michael Jackson song?

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Two callers left such strong poo arguments we just had to release a special episode.

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Would you rather be able to smell one hour into the future OR twice a year make someone crap their own pants?

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In this episode, rather ironically, things get heated 🔥 as we discuss whether you'd rather experience perpetual rain wherever you go or always have to wear flip flops for the rest of your life.

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Every morning you are instantly and perfectly dresses automatically OR you are always perfectly clean

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You get 3, twenty-minute nosebleeds randomly each week OR all dogs except your own bark at you incessantly whenever you are in their vicinity.

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Every time you hear music you must comment how some aspect is off key because "I have perfect pitch" OR you must immediately correct every incorrect usage of who/whom (even in written form)

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Once a week you have to work from a bath tub OR you must lie completely still when falling asleep

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You can only shake hands with your left hand (and can't make up any excuse why) OR unlock your phone by saying "I'm a fart monster"

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Would you rather sleep in a hammock at the top of a tree or always ride bound and gagged in the trunk of a car?