Lippy & Grumpy do podcasting: Recent Episodes

Lippy & Grumpy

Lippy and Grumpy ignore the important issues of the day and instead ramble through a variety of topics, hopefully convincing some guests to take part too.

Recorded some weeks ago, Lippy and Grumpy wander through a series of topics, some serious, some not.

Plus, mini-Lippy, lots of golf, row 13, F1 cars, road numbers, going out to cool off, Grumpy's new obsession and how much time can you save not washing?

In an episode recorded a long while ago and only recently edited....

Grumpy explains a bit more about the seemingly odd potato law in Australia.

We have an update on Floyd, who is now going to doggy day care once a week.

Lippy has an update on mini-Lippy, including the forthcoming gestational diabetes check.

Wife of Grumpy is taking part in 72 holes of golf in one day with Grump caddying. Or took part as this episode is so late it's been and gone.

We have a number of insults used in Grumpy's day that are dying out, maybe for the better. Lippy is revising current slang terms in order to watch Love Island.

It transpires that airlines and hotels often don't have aisle or floor 13 numbered and other countries also ignore numbers that superstition suggests are unlucky.

Are F1 cars too big or Monaco too small?

Grumpy has been looking into the numbering of road, which appears to have started well and fallen into chaos.

Every gone outside due to a heated discussion? An Italian man got a bit carried away and ended up a long way from home.

Grumpy has a story of dog poo retaliation. Well played sir, well played.

Grumpy has a new obsession, Miami Boat Ramps on Instagram.

We talk about a man who hadn't wash for more than 60 years and calculate how much time he had saved.

With a distinctive 1970's theme, we discuss a wide range of topics and there are a couple of rants from Grumpy. Actually three. Sorry

We're back on Riverside so this one will sound a whole lot better!

We talk a lot about Floyd and the mystery that are dogs, plus some trivia we've come across over the last few weeks

Two weeks late, the second installment from Lippy Towers

Plus, old Navy terms, midnight (again), parking on other people's driveways, rolling restorations, gig etiquette (again) and Nigerian fancy dress parties

Lippy has a very important announcement and you will need to listen to find out!

We have some old Navy terms that have found their way into common parlance.

Grumpy is back on his midnight rant and has a confession about when he schedules this podcast.

Thinking of parking on someone else's driveway? Listen to this story of the perfect revenge.

Grumpy has taken on yet another car as a rolling restoration, a bit like The Donkey Sanctuary but for old unwanted vehicles.

We have a bit of a moan about gig etiquette and gasp at the cost of tickets.

Attending a Nigerian fancy dress party in scuba gear.

We reveal how ASDA were loosing so many DVDs from some of their stores. Grumpy has been buying DVDs of very old films.

Lippy's new feature with no name starts in this episode and Grumpy has a fun fact about a bus and Tower Bridge

Plus, gentle podcasts, Apprentice winners, fun with Senior Rail Cards, Spinna d'Plates, Alan Partridge and Thames Water

Having faffed around on a cheaper recording platform, we're back on Riverside, proving you get what you pay for.

We bid a sad farewell to radio genius Steve Wright.

Grumpy has found a kindred spirit for his annoyance for gentle podcasts that advertise loud podcasts waking night time listeners with a jolt.

We fans of the "The Rest is Entertainment" podcast with Richard Osman and Marina Hyde, well worth a listening.

Lippy had a Christmas card with the incorrect postage. Having paid the £1.20 fine, she was horrified to find out the culprit.

Grumpy Towers has a new fence after ten years of propping up and general concern that the whole lot was going to be blown down in a storm.

We've picked our Apprentice winners after the first episode, however Grumpy is a long way behind as he doesn't have the strength to watch in the evening.

Turning 60 has a benefit in being able to buy a Senior Rail Card giving you money off train tickets. Grumpy has used his twice and has managed to spend £2 more than he would of done without the card and has narrowly avoided a fine.

Orange marshal 2 has morphed into Spinna d'Plates and we look forward to hear more about his adventures.

Partridge is back on the BBC!

What is the difference between soup and a sauce? You probably won't find the answer here.

Grumpy has a rant at Thames Water.

Lippy has an ick and Grumpy a fun fact.

Plus restoring old buildings, the development of Threads, Lippy's utility room and Tunnock biscuits

One of Grumpy's favourite topics, the use of over and out in films gets a upgrade to include the terms roger and wilco.

Another of Grumpy's favourites, the definition of midnight, will not be discussed by Wife of Grumpy. Wise woman.

Restoring the Old Cottage Hospital building in Cranleigh.

Grumpy has been strong armed into replacing the 16 year old plasma screen at Grumpy Towers despite him maintaining the old one was perfect. Grumpy has a bit of a moan about setting up the new TV and for once Lippy agrees.

Thanks to Elon Musk (aka Space Karen)'s management of Twitter, Facebook accelerated the development of Threads and the way they achieved this is a good example of software development.

Lippy's downstairs bathroom has been turned into an excellent utility room. Surprisingly Lippy is quite particular about washing and it turns out both Grumpy and Duckboy are discouraged from operating washing machines.

Following a van road trip where many were consumed, Grumpy is delighted to report that Tunnock Caramel biscuits are the same size they have always been.

We look at a brilliant line from Enemy of the State and a mystery about dead letter drops.

Grumpy has been shunned by one of his heroes, Mr Alan Partridge who has a different view of sandwich cutting. We both horrified by the arrangement of bread in a sandwich recently made by Wife of Grumpy.

No top tip from Lippy this week, and a rather old fun fact from Grumpy

Plus, leadership traits, Floyd the puppy, The Apprentice, dyslexia and a fair bit of waffle.

Excuses aplenty as to why we have been off air for four months.

Some very old messages from The Screaming Tomato and Davros.

Floyd the puppy has grown, almost into a full dog and is enjoying life, particularly used tissues.

The Apprentice is back and we're going to back a contestant based on the first episode.

A previous contestant being fired triggers a discussion about dyslexia

Plus, when did the 20th century start, McDonalds' opening times, F1, munge, Doom, lap custard and bus routes.

The Screaming Tomato has picked us up on a fun fact a few months ago where a boat was apparently in two different months, years and centuries at thee same time.

Grumpy get road rage every time he goes through Guildford due to the sign outside McDonalds.

Private Eye's Funny Old World has details of an outrageous refund claim that caught Grumpy's eye and made Lippy speechless.

A Dutch supermarket has opened a slow lane at supermarkets aimed at elderly people that would like a chat at they pack their shopping. A minor vocal interruption by Floyd leads to a quick pupdate.

Grumpy has another of his top ideas to make Formula 1 a bit less dull.

We've both re-watched Fresh Meat, a brilliant series about freshers at University, due to Grumpy using the name munge to describe a hash up of food when camping. Duckboy wasn't taken by the name, however enjoyed the end result.

Doom is running on a McDonald's kiosk, but not a hairdryer.

Otters, one of our favourite creatures, have been reintroduced in Oregon and California to support the eco-system and doing a fine job.

Grumpy gets quite crossed about talking during concerts and is horrified by reports of items thrown at musicians on the stage.

Lippy has been listening to "Is it just me?" on Radio 1 and there's a lot of unusual family traditions out there. Grumpy explains the origin of the "lap custard".

Grumpy has uncovered some information about Stonehenge and the gifting of the monument to the public. Shouldn't cost more than a shilling to visit it.

Lippy has a new feature, is it an ick? Grumpy didn't know what an ick was either.

Grumpy has a fun fact, that is immediately scuppered.

Including, Floyd has landed, Le Mans Classic, Festival of Speed, camping in Swanage, building a pergola, redundancy, classic car shows, Weyfest, Christmas dinner in August and a wine trip to Norfolk

We've had quite a summer and have a new addition to the family. No, Lippy's not pregnant, we have an eight week old Australian Labradoodle called Floyd.

Grumpy had an almost incident free trip to Le Mans Classic in July, which turned out to be even better than he expected. In a motorsport filled month Grumpy went to the Festival of Speed at Goodwood, which included a private tour of group B rally cars.

The annual Swanage trip had mixed weather and resulted in Lippy's brand new tent blowing down in a storm. Fortunately, Lippy and Dick Boy had bailed before the storm struck leaving Grumpy to put the tent away when the weather improved. The collapse may have been down to some poor pegging!

Lippy and Duck Boy build a pergola for their back garden from base materials, no kit was involved. A couple of incidents, however, the structure is square and secure. More DIY is anticipated.

Grumpy's been made redundant after 14 years at the same company. He's pretty happy!

Whilst the pergola project was on the go, Grumpy was commentating at the Cranleigh Lions Classic Car Show. What a day! Enjoyed by all and raised a stack of cash for the Cranleigh Lions.

We had a family trip to Weyfest near Farnham, mostly to see Scouting for Girls, the best festival band in the world! We saw many other bands, some previously unknown.

The summer was rounded off with Christmas dinner (actually a BBQ) with some very old friends all of our children, their partners and children's children and a trip to Chet Valley Vineyards in Norfolk.

We're back next week with some a more usual mix of odd stories facts and a new section from Lippy.

Plus, fessing up, the names of John Melloncamp, Cranleigh Carnival, time travel, Lippy's DIY project, pandas, Le Mans Classic and pointing out mistakes

We start with the sad news that Mother of Grumpy has passed away the day before her 91st birthday. Sad, nevertheless a relief as she was very ill.

We fess up to a couple of mistakes, Lippy claiming you can see memories older than today on Facebook and Grumpy thinking airlines were charging more if you printed your ticket.

Grumpy has the found the various names of John Melloncamp and Lippy is in awe of anyone that changes their name more than once.

Cranleigh Carnival was a hot and successful day and whilst we cancelled the fun dog show due to heat, some people were out in the middle of the day with their dogs. Not good.

Grumpy has a list of life lessons from Bond villains, and Lippy uses it as a tick list to see if she matches up.

If you could travel forwards or backwards in time, where would you go?

Lippy and Duckboy are planning a DIY project in the garden. Grumpy's advice is to measure twice and cut once, and to take your time.

Following an afternoon of Aperol Spritz at Grumpy Towers and putting a spoon in the open bottle of prosecco, Grumpy investigates whether this keeps the bubbles in.

M&S are at it again with legal action over Percy Pigs.

Following a chance viewing of a video on The Gram of a panda falling out of a chair in a similar fashion to Lippy many years ago, Grumpy's favourite animal is the panda. Somehow this leads to Grumpy demonstrating his Roy Kent impression.

Grumpy's very excited about his trip to Le Mans Classic after initial booking three years ago.

Brief day time naps keep the brain healthy. What constitutes brief though? We find out why the iPhone has a nine minute snooze.

We're impressed with Thomas de Mahy, who in 1790 pointed out and allegedly corrected, three spelling mistakes in his death warrant.

Six Australian A&E doctors, faced with many panicking parents or children that have swallowed Lego, decided to time how long it takes for the small bricks to pass through the body by swallowing bricks themselves. 2 days, is the answer.

Lippy has a baking top tip and Grumpy has a completely fun, fun fact

Plus airless tyres, the Betteridge Law of Headlines, high-jacking social media, Facebook memories, where Lidl and Aldi combine, toy car photos, talking at concerts, force fields, taking the Swiss out of Toblerone and computer printers

Our dedicated Twotter spotters have been spotting Twotters (Twin Otter aircraft) in Scotland again, always good to see.

Grumpy thinks the term AI is being used similarly to the way turbo was in the 1980s. Whether we get an AI iron remains to be seen.

Significant tyre replacer Lippy has found airless tyres, which would save her a fortune. Grumpy has a important message about the life of tyres.

Grumpy has discovered the Betteridge law of headlines: "Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no." probably due to a poorly researched news story.

We talk about high-jacking social media threads with marketing messages and wonder whether they are clever responses or desperate marketing smarty-pants posts hoping to go viral?

Grumpy had a memory appear on Facebook that he had no recollection of and can't find the memory. Lippy assures him that you can look back through the memories that Facebook presents.

We discuss the cheese rolling at Cooper Hill, which Lippy fancies a go at. Given her accident-proneness, it really isn't a good idea.

Wife of Grumpy continually confuses Aldi and Lidl, and for this there is the term Lidaldi.

Grumpy was shocked to see a customer review on a packet of fish fingers and suspects it was misunderstood.

Sister of Grumpy has found an article about a Dad's lockdown project taking photos of toy cars in interesting locations and has clocked up 1,000.

It turns out John Melloncamp has similar views to Grumpy about talking during concerts. Somehow we talk about Lippy changing to her married name.

Grumpy has a story about a force field that was created by accident in a 3M factory, however, can't understand it sufficiently to explain it. Lippy thinks that maybe the magician she saw in Vegas (bebe) was using something similar.

Toblerone has moved production of some of their famous bars away from Switzerland and have been instructed to remove the image of the Matterhorn as not enough of the product is being made in Switzerland.

Computer printers are the bane of many peoples lives, however, it appears that gen-z have little experience of them and effectively shun them. Grumpy demonstrates his brand new second-hand printer and Lippy has a story about scanning and how she helped a colleague's productivity.

Lippy has a work-related top tip and Grumpy has a nature related fun fact.

In this episode Lippy and Grumpy reflect on a fantastic day and Lippy talks about some of her honeymoon adventures, including scuba diving, an helicopter ride and winning $26 in Vegas

Lippy and guest star Duckboy amble from courting through proposal to planning their big day.

Duckboy has a wedding themed quiz that one of us nails, although more luck than judgement.

All of us at Lippy & Grumpy wish them a fantastic future.

Plus, finding new music with Spotify, Lippy's first aid kit, can you cook a chicken by slapping it, UK emergency alert and squeaky shoes

The Screaming Tomato has been in touch with information about Spotify suggesting new music to listen to and Grumpy find the playlist enhance button does what it says.

Orange Marshal 2 has some sensible suggestions for Lippy's first aid kit, Davros, not so much.

Grumpy likes predictive analysis and is rather taken by the Brenner Cycle created in 1875. The cycle predicts years of panic and has hit some dates on the head. He's going to do homework on the other dates.

We're pretty excited about the prospect of printing food, now a possibility, not a dream.

Grumpy found an excellent story about some children laying down in the shape of an arrow to help a police search. The story made a lot more sense when Grumpy remembered to mention that a police helicopter was involved.

We love Penguin books and are excited to see a Penguin book vending machine has been installed. On the flip side the Japanese have been deploying bear meat vending machines. Lippy is going on a Japanese trip next year and will report back.

Ever wondered whether it's possible to cook a chicken by slapping it? If so, we have the answer.

We're quite intrigued about the UK emergency alert test on 23 April and get into a protracted conversation about mobile phone masts before moving on to the conspiracy theorists.

Grumpy narrowly avoids buying squeaky shoes for Lippy & Duckboy's wedding, which wouldn't have gone down well.

Lippy has a very specific top-tip and Grumpy has a geographical fun fact.

Plus, talking at concerts, cost of seeing Stonehenge, headbutting a horse, the spring equinox and ChatGPT corner

Comments from the Screaming Tomato about reused churches and cars left idling.

Grumpy had an amazing trip to the Mullard Space Laboratory where they were showing their PanCam camera to be used on the next Mars Rover. Grumpy quite fancies working there, however no jobs to be had.

Following going to a tribute band at a local venue, Grumpy has a rant about people talking during concerts at a small venue. He's not the only one and there doesn't seem to be an answer.

Grumpy and Wife of Grumpy had a fabulous trip to Longleat and found the code word for taking a short cut through the estate from the pub to the campsite. On the way home, we were then shocked by the cost of entry at Stonehenge.

For Lippy's honeymoon, which isn't far away now, she's packing a comprehensive first aid kit. Grumpy is very proud!

The Horse Whisperer had an incident with a horse and nobody was brave enough to tell Lippy following her "no accidents" diktat.

We're both freaked out by the Tesco advert with the "happy" face. Please. no more.

Scotland are planning to apply a 20p deposit on plastic bottles, which can be refunded when deposited in a special bottle bank. Someone has worked out that you can tie string to the bottle and continually put the bottle in, collect 20p and retrieve it.

We didn't know that the equinox meant that most or the world had the same length day and night.

Grumpy has started ChatGPT corner, which is a thinly disguised rant.

Lippy has a good top tip, albeit recycled. Grumpy has a fun fact from the Mullard Space Laboratory.

Plus, medical good news, Australia vs UK car insurance, tabloids getting the law wrong, sewer powered lamps, fantasy F1, Middle of Lidl, giving up on The Apprentice and Lippy's New Skill

Grumpy has some very good news regarding his treatment for prostate cancer.

Following a conversation with The Screaming Tomato, we've discovered that it's much cheaper to insure the same car in the UK than in Australia.

We've discovered incorrect details about 3D and 4D numberplates in the tabloid press. We're not surprised.

In changing car insurers Grumpy has discovered a two minute gap between the two insurance policies where technically you are not insured.

Duck boy has a request for the Lippy & Grumpy take on aliens and UFOs. We go on a rambling journey through does life exist on other planets, aliens living on Earth, what space tastes like, faked moon landings and as there isn't a right way up in space, can navigation be confusing?

In excuse corner, Grumpy explains why there haven't been any social media posts since December and doesn't really explain why he hasn't updated the Lippy & Grumpy website in over a year.

After a sten do in Bournemouth, Lippy's poses the question "how do you feel about a church being turned into a nightclub".

Did you know street lamps used to run on the gas produced in a sewer? Not a pleasant thought, nevertheless a great use of something we don't really want to have to deal with.

Lippy's entered a fantasy F1 team and busy swapping drivers and teams around. Grumpy finds it far too complicated!

Grumpy's took a mate who has never experience the middle of Lidl on a shopping trip to buy a plasma cutter. They were there a long time.

We've pretty much given up with The Apprentice, the format is tired and needs retiring after a final episode that sees the expert business people completing a task in the same conditions as the contestants.

For this episode, Lippy has replaced her top tip with Lippy's New Skill and it's a corker.

Grumpy has a navigation themed fun fact.

We waffled on so much last week we had to cut some out and publish an extra episode for this week.

Grumpy has found a list of 140 life rules in thecut.com, some resonate with Lippy & Grumpy and many confuse.

Grumpy has mixed feeling about the phrase "walked out in a row over pay", it's the word row, which has several meanings.

After some wedding planning we were pondering the definition of an island, leading us to wonder whether Ireland is an island.

Plus pronunciation lesson, parking charges, 3D number plates, concrete, hemp batteries, distributing physical music, M&M gladiators and evil pranks

We've had a pronunciation lesson from Davros and will try harder.

Grumpy is terrified by the concept of a methanol fire, which burns with an invisible flame and no smoke.

Lippy had some parking charges for various reasons and 3D car number plates may be the solution, albeit nefarious.

We love the report of a train station announcer whose aim is to entertain the passengers. Grumpy has a story for years ago and the train announcer at a small station on a bad day.

We have some alternative views of record box office takings for films. If you measure the percentage of box office takings against the cost of making the film, the film on top is a surprise.

Grumpy's found an advance in the manufacturing of concrete that traps CO2 in the concrete rather than releasing into the atmosphere. Also batteries made using hemp. Yes, hemp.

Grumpy's been infected by the McDonald's advert, after it was explained to him, whilst Lippy worked it out in a few seconds. We digressed into a conversation about old Cadbury's adverts.

Whilst Grumpy was cleaning and cataloging his old record collection he was amazed to realise the effort that went into distributing physical music.

We've discovered the game of M&M gladiators and it's a corker.

In a new feature we have a computer related evil prank.

Lippy has a DIY top tip and Grumpy has a James Bond fun fact.

Plus numbering chaos, the over and out list, is Hustle a business programme, Dr Zamboni, amateur astronomers, guest presenter, turntable rebuild, candle over-purchase and a crashed bicycle.

We've found another ambiguous term, bi-weekly, no wonder we are confused.

Grumpy has further information on the Juliane Koepcke story from last week and good news about Popmaster.

We spent a day successfully demolishing Lippy bathroom, with Duckboy crossing the line into DIY fandom.

Grumpy owns up to episode numbering chaos, although he suspects it's Lippy's fault.

The recent cold snap caused car locks and doors to ice up, in one case trapping someone in their car.

One of Grumpy's bugbears is the use of "over and out" in films and tv series. Sadly Sheldon Cooper has joined James Bond on the list of offenders.

Having watched one episode of The Apprentice, Grumpy thinks and Lippy agrees that the tv series Hustle is a better business programme.

Dr Zamboni is alive and well!

Lippy read a story about the Earth's core spinning in the opposite direction to the Earth's surface. Scientists disagree with one another and our minds have been blown. Lippy owns up that she's been spreading untruths about the amount of caffeine in tea.

Is astronomy the only science that has so much amateur input? Lippy speaks total nonsense about NASA and the oceans.

We're lining up The Screaming Tomato to fill in for Lippy when she is away on her honeymoon. Goodness only knows what will happen.

Grumpy has managed to rebuild his 30-year-old turntable and is now hunting down vinyl in charity shops. Amazingly Grumpy found a mobile phone app that measures the speed of a turntable.

Lippy has an over-purchasing incident with candles for the tables on her wedding day, resulting in a return trip to Ikea. Is it possible to return items and not buy anything more?

Wife of Grumpy has had a pothole-induced bicycle accident, resulting in a face plant in mud and a broken fork.

Lippy has a bride-based top tip and Grumpy has another aviation-based fun fact.

Plus, new man office upgrades, rounding errors, laughing at jokes, The Apprentice, Radio 2, where is Popmaster going and new episode schedule

We're back after an extended break due to hanging on lurgy.

We looked back on some highlights in 2022, including the "when is midnight" discussion, which is still rumbling on.

December was a good month at Grumpy towers, with a new carpet for the man office and resurrection of Grumpy's 1980's hi-fi, although the record deck is in one hundred pieces.

We morn the loss of driver extraordinaire Ken Block and are amazed that Jeremy Renner survived an accident with a snow plough.
Lippy had a clothing failure and in the middle of the story Grumpy foolishly asks what OKRs are. Somewhat predictably Grumpy suggests gaffer tape as a fix.

Office Space, one of Grumpy's favourite films, has inspired a real life crime, except that this perpetrator has been caught.

Oh no, Uggs, the booted flip-flop, are back in fashion. Lippy explains how to put Crocs in sports mode.

Grumpy and wife of Grumpy went to see The Lavender Hill Mob at the theatre with some split opinions on which jokes to groan or laugh at.

Grumpy laments the trend in films and TV series to have a thing at the beginning, with the rest of the film or episode leading up to the thing. Grumpy has the chronological order to watch Netflix's Kaleidoscope. Lippy and Duckboy binged watched Traitors in 24 hours. How?

Grumpy missed the start of The Apprentice and having caught up was distressed by the arguing in the first episode. He's also bemused about the contestants not researching before the task.

Jeremy Clarkson is a polarising character, nevertheless we're bothered that people complaining about the contents of his newspaper column results in the offensive section being reported across the media for weeks on end.

Lippy confesses to listening to Radio 2, whilst Grumpy is perturbed about what is going to happen to Popmaster with Ken Bruce leaving Radio 2.

Lippy has a sat nav related top tip and Grumpy has a air crash survival fact.

Due to an impending wedding and a record deck in pieces, Lippy & Grumpy will be released every fortnight until Lippy is back from honeymoon.

Plus why is it so hard to give stuff away, short comings with What3Words, same flag, different country, fluorescent road markings, contranyms and why do we wave hands in the air after touching something hot

Plus, farewell to our cat, bonfire review, pick your own Quality Street and Formula 1

We've been a tad busy and on holiday for a week so there's a massive list of topics to get through.

We need a new nickname for Orange Marshall 2 as he's taking a break from marshalling.

Last week we said goodbye to our 19 year old cat Roly, which was very sad, nevertheless she had a good life.

From our last episode we revisit Lippy's clock mishap, herding sheep across London Bridge, and the head-bobbing opera singer.

Grumpy has taken delivery of his electric bike and he's very, very pleased.

We review the Cranleigh Lions Bonfire & Fireworks and the after party that led to an expected (at least by Grumpy) conversation about full stops and emojis when sending a message. Needless to say, there is a bit of a Grumpy rant.

In some John Lewis stores you can fill a tin of you favourite Quality Street sweets, so no more unwanted sweets in the tin until March.

There's some very strange going ons at Twitter after our favourite Bond villain in waiting has taken over. We're boycotting Twitter, which will have absolutely no effect, nevertheless we feel better about it.

Lippy explains the drama at the last F1 race and we're looking forward to see second place being settled at the last Grand Prix of the season.

Grumpy has introduced a new Why Do? section to the podcast. This week he's contemplating dispensers in gents toilets.

Lippy has a joke instead of a top tip and Grumpy has a actor based fun fact.

Plus, mouth trouble, lettuce vs Liz Truss, high mileage cars, upside down sockets, statistics, ben Elton, electric bikes and dyslexia

Grumpy had a bit of trouble with the mouth in the last episode and got into a bit of trouble with Davros after fiddling with the volumes.

It turns out that there's another Lippy, this one is down under. Maybe there is a club forming.

We had a fun and tasty evening at menu tasting last week rounding off this year's preparations for Lippy & Duckboy's wedding.

The lettuce lasted longer than Liz Truss, however Grumpy was concerned about the upside down Union Flag. He then has a bit of a rant, sorry.

Grumpy has found a list of high mileage cars in scrapyards and is looking forward to a high mileage get together to be organised by a YouTuber. Lippy confesses she hankers after a Volvo XC60.

Duckboy is showing an interest in a Lotus Emira and by chance Grumpy watches a video of an Emira being built. He compares it with a visit to a Ford factory in the 1970s.

At the menu tasting Grumpy spotted an upside down electrical socket. He understands why and yet couldn't stop gawping at it.

Lippy has a contact who has recently been given the freedom of the City of London, which comes with some unusual privileges.

Bonfire building has started in earnest and we are looking forward to a superb evening on 5th November. If you've not had enough of Grumpy's voice, he's hosting! www.cranleighlions.org

Lippy has a meeting booking pet peeve, thank goodness we're not using paper diaries any more.

Grumpy is not good when a single statistic is used to measure something quite complex and Lippy's company is trying to do just that.

Grumpy was taken back 40 years to see Ben Elton and Julian Clarey back on Channel 4 in stand-up.

Grumpy and Wife of Grumpy are picking up their electric fold up bikes next week. Lippy is very rude about Grumpy building an electric bike some years ago.

Lippy reveals some instances where her dyslexia has made her look a bit weird. You may think it has nothing to do with dyslexia!

Lippy has an unusual top top and Grumpy's fun fact is music related.

Plus, grammar wrong'un, Angela Lansbury, Robbie Coltrane, adult conversations on Facebook, boy racers, music quiz, Trucking Hell and Google Maps AI

More microphone woes, so we had to start again after six minutes.

The McDonald's time problem from last week is now a grammar wrong'un.

Grumpy reads the Screaming Tomato's so called fun fact for the second time, which Lippy gets this time.

We mourn the loss of Angela Lansbury and Robbie Coltrane, good actors and very decent human beings.

Lippy spent some time very confused about deer in general, however isn't confused about Brooklyn 99.

Only Lippy could sustain an injury at a first aid course and Grumpy reveals a long term fear of resuscitation dolls.

Grumpy is stunned that he's had two adult conversations in Facebook comments. Lippy confesses stalking a local Facebook group looking for arguments and is surprised nobody has been complaining about the local boy racers.

Lippy & Grumpy were at a ruby wedding anniversary in Derby and experienced an off music quiz, not helped by Wife of Grumpy's gung ho attitude to form filling in.

During some very wet weather on the way home, Grumpy became very concerned about the quality of white lines and cat's eyes on the UK's roads.

Grumpy spotted a Crouch recovery vehicle, star of Trucking Hell and also middle lane cruisers with unexpected adverts on the roof. He also wonders whether Google Maps has AI designed to detect when people take the same wrong turn.

Grumpy had to take Wife of Grumpy to A&E (all is okay), who managed to summon the crash team by moving her head.

It's 10 years since Felix Baumgartner jumped from space. Seems like yesterday.

Wife of Grumpy had an slightly unpleasant experience at the car wash.

Grumpy has discovered that you can't drive a three-wheeler until you are 21. We can't work out why.

Lippy has a time related top tip and Grumpy has a cat themed fun fact.

Plus, more time confusion, driverless taxis, lidos, washing machine filters, voice notes and Split

Grumpy apologises for last week's microphone mishap although he has an excuse.

Lippy has a few tales from her hen do, whilst Grumpy had a quiet weekend at home with a trip to Brooklands.

Grumpy & Orange Marshal 2 drove past the time confusing McDonald's sign and may have discovered a grammatical error too.

We discuss how can you cheat at chess in a face-to-face match.

We're not sure about the driverless taxis in San Francisco, however Grumpy is a big fan of the Ogmios School of Zen Motoring on YouTube and BBC 3, highly recommended.

Bath has reopened their lido, which sparks a discussion about how to pronounce lido. Grumpy was basing it on the pronunciation in Boz Scagg's Lido Shuffle, however it turns out that the song wasn't about a swimming pool.

Grumpy is a step closer to getting his washing machine waste water filter, stopping microplastics from entering the water supply.

Grumpy doesn't really get voice notes instead of a text message, however we ponder whether a collection of random voice notes would make good entertainment.

During his trip to Brooklands Grumpy discovers why aircraft windows are round in shape.

Lippy provides a positive review of the film Split.

Lippy has a food related top tip and Grumpy has a food related fun(ish) fact.

It sounds like Grumpy is speaking from a 1970's Trimphone this week, good job Lippy is doing most of the talking as Grumpy has a tooth out. So a shorter than usual episode. sorry again.

Nice feedback from Orange Marshall Two and Graphic Godders and a Great North Run confession from Orange Marshall Two.

Lippy has had a heating mishap, phoned the plumber and fortunately didn't call him out! The heated laundry dryer Lippy bought hasn't turned out quite as well as she hoped. More to follow.

Grumpy has a fascination with people who make models from matchsticks and is in awe of a German gentleman who makes furniture from used chopsticks.

We're pleased to see that a major shipping company is changing its shipping routes to avoid areas where blue whales live.

Grumpy claims to stop mocking people who put Christmas trees up in October (provided it brings them joy), however expensive advent calendars are fair game.

Lippy has a top tip, well the one she remembered and Grumpy's fun fact was cut as there's only so much you can take of someone speaking from a Trimphone

Plus raising money, joy riding scooters, where The Apprentice, super-facts, paint balling cars, peace talks, competition rules, XP screen background and a double fun fact

We reflect on a weekend of mixed adventures, the Horse Whisperer raised over £1,000 for Cancer Research by walking 26 miles through London whilst Lippy took on Bristol dressed as a lobster and Grumpy had a dance floor incident.

Grumpy's search for podcast editing shortcuts went a bit far with last week's episode ending up a mere 10 seconds. Maybe an improvement?

Grumpy stumbles for the correct pronunciation of NASA whilst Lippy's chicken alarm goes off. It's a top quality presentation this week.

We were looking forward to The Apprentice in the autumn however it was on in January and Grumpy has no recollection of the series. Lippy has been watching Halloween films already.

We have some unusual fun super-facts, one of which Lippy isn't a fan of.

Japan uses paint ball guns to mark cars they want to stop, which seems like a very good idea. Lippy explains about the paint based personal protection.

We have a very old story about peace talks that ended up in a horrible disaster.

Lippy spotted a top tweet from Uno that sparked a discussion about house rules, in particular Monopoly.

In a similar theme to "when is midnight" we have a what age to enter a competition conundrum.

Lippy is surprised to find that the famous Windows XP screen background is a real place.

There is a tradition when entering the Conwy tunnel on the A55 of beeping twice, we reveal why

A double fun fact this week, one from Lippy, one from Grumpy.

Charlotte's Shine Walk on 24 September - https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/charlottes-giving-page-261067

Hopefully, normal service resumed next week.

Grumpy slips in some car related topics, our favourite gameshows and lots of listener feedback.

Plus, DIY Sunday, another car breakdown and why are there so many mattress adverts on the TV?

We survived DIY Sunday, without injury, a minor mistake with the delivery of timber and finished in time to watch an eventful Grand Prix.

Lots of listener feedback this week, which we are grateful for, including a very complicated post about survivorship bias. Orange Marshall 2 informs us that you can report dirty motorway signs via the Highways England website. We've also had a joke from the Screaming Tomato. Or at least we think it's a joke, we're not 100% sure.

Grumpy's keen on Land Rover Defenders, nevertheless he's not sure about the new model and very suspicious about the electric towbar as demonstrated on Harry's Farm. Keeping with the car theme, we've found peak car button in a 1987 Nissan Gloria, which sports a separate hi-fi system worthy of a lounge. The Gloria also features the largest wing mirrors ever seen. Meanwhile Lippy thought that the terms wing mirror and door mirror are synonymous and called wing mirrors because they look like wings.

Grumpy has had another vehicle breakdown and is still refusing to buy something newer.

We both love a gameshow, although, not surprisingly, Grumpy has some fixed guidelines when watching a new show. The conversation turns to creating our own game show, which includes a fair amount of cheese.

Grumpy's surprised about the number of mattress adverts on the TV at certain times of the day and wonders whether you have to return the mattress in the original packaging if you want to return it.

Lippy has two top tips this week and makes up for the last two week's slightly rubbish tips. Grumpy's fact goes on for a bit, nevertheless is worth the wait

We start with the exciting news that Lippy has had an offer accepted on a house and is currently looking at paint colour and furniture. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster, however the garden has astro turf, which ticks one very large "don't want to do gardening" box.

Lippy's spring equinox egg balancing experiment at 09:37 on Saturday 20th didn't go well, however, Davros suggests trying it on the autumn equinox and Grumpy thinks the solstice might be the best time to try.

Grumpy laments the passing of Chris Barber, jazz trombonist extraordinaire, racing driver and Top Gear presenter Sabine Schmitz and ex-Formula 1 driver Johnny Dumfries.

We're also thinking of those affected by the flooding in Australia.

We've had a smoke alarm story from Mr T, including a screaming child in a car, not listening to Mrs T, house alarm DIY and a worn out battery.

Grumpy is interested to find out about a app called Zoom Escaper that makes your connection to a meeting so unbearable that you don't get invited to a meeting ever again.

Wife of Grumpy has been sending round a video of a laughing duck, which has caused much merriment!

Lippy wonders whether sending flowers is a bit morbid as they are dying. Mind you she confesses that she's not very good at removing them once they are dead. Somehow we get onto the subject of banana skins and Grumpy doesn't believe that anyone has ever slipped on a banana skin. Grumpy has bought some borage seeds for the allotment to help protect the strawberries and was surprised to find the instructions were in Chinese.

Grumpy has some information about short passwords and the speed at which they can be cracked in a brute false attack. Don't glaze over, there's some useful information here.

Lippy has a post lockdown top tip and Grumpy has a country shrinking fun fact.

Plus, Titanic experts, expensive cars, flying around the world, holibobs, inspiring leadership and a Lippy rant disguised as a top tip

It was a lot warmer last week and we had a very loud wood pigeon making its presence known.

Lippy failed with her homework task, nevertheless Grumpy has found why Argentina translates to The Land of the Silver River

One of our listeners is an expert in all matters of Titanic and we may have a feature episode in the near future.

Grumpy has been watching Ted Lasso on Apple TV and is in awe of the character's positive nature. Lippy fails in an attempt to encourage Grumpy into Game of Thrones.

Lady Diana's Ford Escort RS Turbo Mk1 sold at auction for an eye-watering sum, guessed correctly by Lippy.

A 92 year old man passed GCSE in mathematics, which is a brilliant achievement. Neither Lippy nor Grumpy can understand the new grading system let alone pass the exam.

A 17 year old has become the youngest person to fly around the world. Lippy reveals she fancies sailing around the world, nevertheless would probably stop in Italy and go no further.

Lippy is off on holibobs last week, having rearranged the flights to the ski trip that didn't happen. Provided she has a negative covid test on Friday.

Grumpy has a story of a man that joined his own search party and a story of leadership in the face of adversity. It's what Ted Lasso would do.

We have some science stories neither of us understand; a fifth dimension, an electric motor without magnets and the similarity between the brain and galaxies.

Lippy has a top tip that is a thinly disguised rant and Grumpy's fun fact works a lot better in print.

Plus, origin of 999, literal meaning of country names and the elephant in the room.

We start with a message about a scene from Titanic that is clearly wrong and then becomes ever wronger, leading to a conversation about misquoted film lines.

A Lippy & Grumpy trip to the Weyfest Music Festival was enjoyed by all and we continue to find unknown bands and artists that are fabulous. Roll on next year.

Lippy has a theory about the potential security breach on older Apple devices. Grumpy's not convinced and appreciates the pure panic that goes on with these problems.

A conversation at Grumpy Towers raised the question, why is the emergency services number 999? We have the answer.

We have the story of a con artist who sold an imaginary airport to a Brazilian bank for $242 million. Spoiler alert; they were caught.

If you've ever wondered about the meaning of country names, we've found a map showing them, from Finland's Land to Cameroon's River of Prawns.

Grumpy has a second con artist story, this time a New York bank robber, who met a grizzly end.

Grumpy has an observation of the phase elephant in the room that Lippy doesn't find funny at all.

Lippy has an efficiency top tip and Grumpy has a Titanic-related fun fact.

Plus, a curate's egg example, Davros strikes, Lippy injury and Ralph Nadar

Grumpy mourns the sad loss of a friend last week.

We had a very successful classic car show on Sunday with both Lippy & Grumpy on the commentary team.

Following last week's sating "curate's egg" we have a real life example - the London Underground.

We've had a Davros missive and he's quite correct about the galaxy thing. Plus some stuff we don't understand.

Lippy's injured her hand when getting into bed in a manner that only Lippy could do.

ESPN has been showing a number of unusual sports, including the Word Excel Championship.

Grumpy has found some unusual facts about sleeping, including that you can't sneeze when you are asleep.

Ralph Nadar has been on Grumpy's radar for a while now and not for good reasons. He's popped up again and we're both unsure.

Grumpy has a rant about Thames Water and follows up with some historic insults.

Lippy has a work based top tip and triggers Grumpy's saying of the week.

Plus, sea level, octopus TikTok, other earth planets, Virgin Media fail, The Line, Shogun news, and is Love Island a Bond villain experiment

Having missed a week due to time running away we're back with a lot of stuff from two weeks ago.

Orange marshal 2 has got into a bit of a flap over times on a McDonalds poster and agrees the 12 hour clock should be scrapped.

Omaze is bending the rules of time, or a least the definition of midnight and having read some of Wikipedia Grumpy is also confused. Best leave it them.

Then there's sea level. Grumpy's given up trying to understand that too.

We've found a diagram that shows how big countries are compared with a flat map of the Earth. There's quite a difference with some countries.

Grumpy is struggling to understand the TikTok videos that Lippy sends him. Nevertheless we've seen an amazing video of an octopus walking on a sea bed.

Lippy wondered whether there was another earth like planet in the universe and it appears so, although it's a fair old hike to get there.

Lippy's Virgin Media internet connection has been fixed although the upload speeds is slower than a 1995 dial-up link.

Lippy's found an amazing development in Saudi Arabia called The Line, a 170 mile, 200 meter community. We watch with interest.

Lippy injured her knee two weeks ago only to be eclipsed by The Horse Whisperer.

It comes as no surprise that Lippy talks in her sleep. Waking her up is not a good idea.

At last there is good news on the Shogun front, the replacement engine fitted by Fils Pajeros is awesome and the elusive rattle has been located and fixed.

We're in awe of the England ladies football team and sincerely hope they get the support they need for more victories.

Grumpy is convinced Love Island is a Bond villain experiment, however, as Lippy points out, there are several similar programmes, including Big Brother, on ITV2.

The New York to Paris motor race was an incredible feat of adventuring, including driving across a frozen sea, making their own roads and navigating by the stars.

Lippy has a public speaking top tip and Grumpy reveals the meaning of the little used phrase "curate's egg".

Plus, dogs in campervans, grey hair, buying an F1 car by accident, bank transfers, drone superhighway, a Lippy revelation, what does wi-fi stand for and Voyager 1

Grumpy forgot to mention last week that he met up with friends whilst on holiday, who have a full of beans, you puppy. Grumpy relates a story of dogs and camper vans and somehow manages to get ridiculed by Lippy.

Following on from a few weeks ago we have octopus news.

Lippy is very concerned about finding grey hair in her young head. We suspect it's in the genes.

Grumpy has found a map that depicts the world 300 million years ago. We were all bunched up then, a bit like the inhabitants of Migingo island

We spent an afternoon watching a few planes from the Farnborough Airshow and after being outbid on a Ebay item, Grumpy has a story of a gentleman who won a 1988 Formula 1 car by accident.

We had a story about bank transfers a while back and the Screaming Tomato has a story of a wayward Christmas present.

A bank robber in America went about a raid in an odd manner, depositing the cash in his own account before being caught.

Following a discussion at Grumpy Towers we discuss when is midnight? Grumpy is all for banning the 12 hour clock to reduce confusion.

The UK is about to launch a drone superhighway that will help distribute medicines to remote parts of the country. Sounds like a very good idea.

Lippy has had a revelation about writing 1st, 2nd, etc.

Following on from a conversation with a good friend, finding out a spreadsheet fact that Lippy knew proves the point that our kids are now cleverer than us oldies.

On the back of this Grumpy asks the unanswerable question, what does wi-fi stand for?

We are in awe of Voyager 1 that after 45 year is 13 billion miles away and still accepting commands from Earth.

Lippy has a mind control top tip and Grumpy finds the meaning of "happy as Larry"

Plus, exploding gas cylinders, Shogun breakdown, boat trip, slow lunch and an amazing boat tracker app

Grumpy has had a two week camping trip in an aging campervan and is keen to tell all about the fortnight's adventures.

The return trip on a hot Sunday was slow with many breakdowns, and for once not the Grumpy campervan.

Grumpy and wife of Grumpy helped successfully recover a caravan stuck in a ditch on the first night, using offcuts of Lippy's decking from a few months ago.

Lippy, Duckboy and the Horse Whisperer visited on the middle weekend and witnessed what happens if an "empty" gas canister is put in a bin with hot bbq coals.

We've been going to the campsite for nearly 20 years and have got to know some of the long-termers, all of whom have their eccentricities, including wearing boiler suits and budgie smugglers.

Grumpy has discovered how hard it is to walk over slippery rocks for a cheeky swim, nevertheless persevered as a swim in the sea is so cooling. Having met some chaps fishing in Chapman's Pool, Grumpy relates a story of a friend and a wayward fish hook, the one thing that Grumpy is scared of. That and snakes.

In golf news, Grumpy was marginally beaten by Wife of Grumpy, semi-professional golfer, at pitch & putt and Lippy beat Duckboy at crazy golf.

In Horse Whisperer car news, the Shogun has had a replacement engine fitted, and then broke down with a snapped alternator. Both problems were fixed by the amazing Fils Pajeros in Southampton, a brilliant, brilliant garage. The good news is the car is now running superbly!

It's Farnborough Airshow, which is very close to Lippy's house, offering plenty of distractions for this week. We're looking forward to a Lippy & Grumpy airshow party on Friday.

Grumpy went on a superb boat trip from Swanage to Poole and managed to turn the disappointment of not being able to go to Brownsea Island into a tasty, if slow, lunch.

Lippy's top tip is a water sprayer fan, not to be used near a computer. Grumpy's fun fact is almost a top tip and is the amazing Marine Traffic app for identifying and locating boats.

Plus, nudge theory, cunning plans, octopuses, car repairs, Diary of a CEO and unexpected money in your bank account

Davros has been in contact with an interesting observation with the Swedish talking bin from last week.

After last week's rant, Grumpy has found that the older Bond films are being shown on ITV, however it has led him to believe that James Bond is a bit of a know it all.

It may be observation bias, nevertheless we've found an article in The Economist explaining how calories are a poor measure of food. We wholeheartedly agree.

Lippy has a cunning idea to boost her honeymoon fund.

We're please to see that lobsters, along with octopus and squid are now sentient beings. Grumpy confesses a love of the octopus including a football match outcome predicting octopus called Paul.

The story of a competition swimmer feinting and being successfully rescued has reminded Grumpy of a rather odd joke.

Grumpy has a tale of woe with the Horse Whisperer's car. After many hours work it's worse, however we have met a very nice man called Phil.

We're surprised that the mars orbiter is running Windows 98 and even more surprised that it's being upgraded.

Grumpy has been listening to Lippy's favourite Steven Bartlett's Diary of a CEO podcast and is a big fan.

A man in America had $92 quadrillion accidently deposited into his PayPal account, 1,000 times the entire planet's GDP. It was gone before he could spend it.

Grumpy is off on holiday for two weeks so we'll see you on the 22 July

Plus, a Mini adventure, dressed for Zoom, cash register traffic cameras, gorillas in space and not my bag

Grumpy has a bit of a moan as the older James Bond films that were included in the Amazon Prime subscription now incur an additional charge.

Grumpy and Wife of Grumpy took the classic Mini out and had to effect a roadside repair, after being chased out of a hotel car park by security guards.

Lippy decided to try some new clothes on during work time and had to answer a video call from her boss in a state of undress.

Sweden has some talking bins to encourage people to put their rubbish in the correct place. The somewhat evocative recordings probably won't work in Britain!

We've found a traffic camera in the City of London that is drawing in a massive amount of money in fines.

After an typically odd session in the local pub, Grumpy has been told about the UFO religion of Raelism. They claim there are hybrids, part alien, part human, amongst us.

Continuing on the space theme we talk about the planet alignment that takes place today (24th June 2022) at around 4:30am. When this happens in films, bad things tend to occur so we both a bit nervous.

Why do some flowers close up at night and others open? We have the answer. Possibly.

Duck boy found an article on zombie fungus. If you are an ant it's truly terrifying.

We have a tale of identical twin astronauts, the International Space Station and Tim Peak. Oh, and a gorilla costume.

Lippy has a blow away top tip and Grumpy is explaining common day sayings and this week it's "not my bag"

Plus, spreadsheet adverts from the 90s, crypto tax haven, the price of petrol, fraudsters sell someone else's house, and the half-marathon dog.

Lippy saw an advert for Microsoft's Excel and Grumpy managed to find it almost by chance on YouTube. Suffice to say as a 90's advert there is a suit off and a very clunky laptop.

Davros has lent Grumpy his prized folder of cartoons. Grumpy has instigated a strict no food nor drink policy around this precious item.

If you've made a lot of money with crypto currencies then maybe consider following a Dutch family to Portugal where they don't tax the proceeds for crypto investments.

Lippy heard a Newsbeat report on the radio containing some confusion about the units petrol is priced in. £12,000 to fill up a tank? Not quite.

We're delighted to hear that painting one of the vanes on a wind turbine reduces bird strikes significantly. More of this please!

Grumpy heard of a story where fraudsters sold a house they didn't own. A nightmare to all concerned.

If you like tales of adventure and history then Harry Dwyer's trip around the UK in a 4 metre RIB could be the YouTube series for you. Grumpy is now contemplating pulling a very old boat from the shed. What could go wrong?

Square waves are a thing and spell danger.

Duck boy has been to New York and returned with a number of snacks for Lippy. We're concerned about the ingredients and also the addition of calories on menus.

In Alabama a bloodhound joined a half-marathon by accident and comes 7th.

In Grumpy's fun fact he gets confuses whales and dolphins. It's been a long week.

Plus, jumping on an accelerating train, tent finder, picking raspberries, nesting seagulls and can Lippy remember her top tip?

The Screaming Tomato used to live in Sutton Coldfield and navigated Spaghetti Junction successfully many times, the trick, as always, is knowing where you are going.

We talk about jumping on an accelerating train and pretend to understand the maths behind it. Grumpy has found a tent finder app that looks pretty good.

Grumpy has been to see Top Gun Maverick at the Everyman cinema and both were an absolute delight.

Grumpy has always wanted a Metro 6R4 rally car from the 1980s. 40 years later he's found out the running costs and they are a tad on the high side.

Lippy loves a spreadsheet and we have a little history on the world's most used application.

We have news of a model of a 12 metre sperm whale being transported on a flat bed lorry, which caused some confusion for motorists.

The grand opening of a water park in Wales has been postponed due to a seagull's nest.

In episode 1 we talked about running Doom on a pregnancy test. Turns out there are many more devices it can run on.

Lippy just about remembers her top tip and Grumpy has a gruesome fun fact.

Plus, Duck Boy's reaction, Ray Liotta, Lippy's wild goose chase, Dude, where's my car, strange mobile phones, F1 budget caps and fed up cats.

Lippy played last week's episode to Duck Boy, who is still laughing about the vacuum cleaner realisation.

We've been given the link to the Idaho Potato Museum, which we would very much like to visit.

One of Grumpy's favourite actors is Ray Liotta and we're saddened by his passing. Did you know he was in two Muppet films?

Grumpy had a visit from a fellow camper who couldn't find his tent. A good use of What 3 Words.

The Horse Whisperer had a midweek work night out followed by a Dude, where's my car moment.

The Nokia N-Gage again, along with four other Nokia phones in the top ten strangest mobile phones.

Parmigiano Reggiano cheese makers are fighting counterfeiters by inserting a blockchain derived tracker in the rind of cheese wheels.

The bigger F1 teams are asking for a bigger budget, according to the Daily Mail, which seems to be mixing its statistics a bit.

We're pleased, well Grumpy is, to see the electric Mini Moke is rolling off the production line.

Does you cat seem a bit lackluster? Could simply be fed up with you!

Plus, not listening, Shine Walk, Spaghetti Junction, cities, welcome to Luton, museums, vacuum cleaners and Bluetooth

We both made a slip up last week, Lippy forgot the proper name for air traffic controllers and Grumpy wasn't listening to what Lippy was saying and repeated the same thing. Good job for editing.

Grumpy's Mum has moved into a car home and Grumpy is keen to speak about his experience with the process. All's well that end's well.

The Horse Whisperer is taking part in the Cancer Research Shine Walk in September, walking 26 miles through London overnight. If you can support this amazing charity we would appreciate your donation at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/shine.

Whilst Dick Boy was recovering from his stag do, a party in England caused mayhem by sinking boats, flooding a road and blocking a canal.

We wish happy 50th birthday to Spaghetti Junction, which leads to Grumpy's damp experience at the first Super Prix in Birmingham during the 1980s.

What makes a city? We have all the facts plus the list of towns that are now cities.

Our favourite film is Jaws and we've found out something very interesting about one of the young lads that pulled an on film prank.

Talking of pranks, we talk about the WELCOME TO LUTON sign displayed in a field 90 seconds from Gatwick Airport. Lippy has an expense claim following picking up Duck Boy and his mates.

Sadly the Museum of Failure hasn't visited the UK yet, we live in hope.

Lippy's top tip displays a fundamental misunderstanding about vacuum cleaners.

Grumpy has the best out of office message ever, followed by a fun fact about Bluetooth.

Plus, Lippy's Oreo driving game, the Tesla rolling stop, morning out in Guildford, stag weekends, clickbait, lost wallets, blurring your house and misspelt road signs

Lippy was running a bit late and sent Grumpy a link to her location via Waze. Grumpy was very impressed, however Lippy comes up with an odd name.

There's a Lippy confession involving a driving game with a packet of double stuffed Oreos.

Following on from last week, Grumpy has some information on the Tesla rolling stop feature that has been disabled. So of absolutely no use whatsoever,

Lippy & Grumpy had a trip out to Guildford involving a trip to Barclays (queue Grumpy rant) and Cafe Nero for some free drinks.

Duck Boy has had his first stag weekend and we're delighted that the party is back safe and sound, complete with their outrageous shirts,

We've found a brilliant bit of clickbait around the story of a non-pilot landing a plane when the pilot passes out.

Grumpy isn't keen on flip-flops (putting it mildly) and has two stories at different end of the safety spectrum.

We've found a road in Rochdale where the council had to resurface a road around a parked car.

How long would you wait before thinking your misplaced wallet was lost for ever? I bet it's not seven years.

If you want to blur your house on Google Street View, there is a way to do it.

A shop in Wales has had a translation error leaving locals mystified by the writing on the road.

In what's turning out to be a Welsh focused episode, we've found a Welsh farmer who has eaten the same meals for the last 10 years and is very happy. Grumpy is quite impressed as it makes for very efficient food shopping.

Lippy has an unusual top tip and Grumpy has a Screaming Tomato fun fact.

Plus, delivering leaflets, wine tasting, Instagram cloning, vegetable oil, Colin McRae and Tesla summon goes wrong

We have some excuses about the lack of last week's episode.

Grumpy has found out how a cat that's never seen a snake before can be afraid of a cucumber. In true L& G fashion, it seems to ask more questions than it answers.

Lippy has some observations about the Martin Brundle gridwalk at the Miami Grand Prix and we both agree he should be a national treasure. We have some suggestions to make F1 more of a spectator sport.

Grumpy has been delivering leaflets and has observations about letterbox position, internet routers and aggressive dogs.

We have a guest lined up, Joe the Wine Guy, who hosted a wine tasting evening we attended.

Grumpy, being a massive media superstar, has had his personal Instagram account cloned. He has found back by changing his profile to a picture of a goose.

We reveal why there is a shortage of vegetable oil.

Big rally fan Grumpy reveals the story of Colin McRae's first event; it's a bit of a shocker.

We like a good response to a daft note left on a car, and we've found one involving a public car park.

The Tesla summon function went a bit wrong recently in America, causing quite a bit of damage. Lippy reveals that they might be getting a Tesla in 3 years.

The Duck Whisperer has renamed himself Dick Boy and has been complaining that Lippy's Top Tip is more what has duck boy done now. This week Top Tip proves him right.

Grumpy has a double golf Fun Fact.

Plus, internet speed update, number plate fonts, toilet door signs, Elon Muck and throwing the the Dorset Knob

Is Lippy's internet problem fixed? No, nevertheless it's better thanks to the installation of a wifi mesh, although Lippy has no idea of what that is.

Grumpy has found someone who is even more picky about number plates than he is.

We welcome new listener Graphic Godders, we'll be in double figures soon.

Both of us get confused and stressed by clever toilet door signs. Grumpy has a double confession about his visit to a toilet in Gatwick Airport.

Brighton station has a pizza vending machine and we're planning a trip to try it.

Pointy shoes were quite controversial in medieval times, and were banned in at least two countries.

Square bread rolls have caused both of us some confusion, due to misunderstanding the word roll.

Amazon bought MGM studios a while back and as a result all of the James Bond films are on Amazon Prime and included in the standard membership.

Elon Musk bought Twitter for an awful lot of money and we think he might be a future Bond villain.

The Dorset Knob might be almost impossible to eat without breaking teeth, however it makes for a number of sports including throwing. Sadly the event is too popular and has been cancelled this year.

We talk about the steepest road in Britain, 100 meters of 1 in 20. Yikes!

Lippy tries to exceed the length of last week's top tip, and this week actually has a top tip. Grumpy's very short fun fact involves cats and a salad item.

Plus, why number plates go wonky, kniffiti, buying TVs for work, Easter egg hunt, synthetic fuel, comparing unrelated events, getting stuck in toilets and scary robots

Grumpy has discovered that scientists do play April Fool's jokes and to his delight has found japes from CERN and Patrick Moore.

The Screaming Tomato agrees about the use of the phrase "end-off" and reminds Grumpy of a friend's story of a trip to France.

Mini Matt has been in touch about wonky number plates and knows what can cause it.

The Screaming Tomato has sent us an article on kniffiti or yarn bombing, the nicest form of graffiti you will come across.

Lippy is in week three of her new job and is planning an office move including buying new TVs for the meeting rooms. Oh the power. Somehow Lippy has become a tech expert specialising in connecting laptops to TVs.

The Cranleigh Lions Easter Egg Hunt was a success with lots of people taking part. Lippy is a big smug about her clothing choice for the day, she was nice and call whilst the rest of us were a bot over hot.

Sweden have been burning rubbish to generate heat and electricity since the 1970s, which seems to be a good idea albeit producing CO2. Somehow we digress into a conversation about the wrong number plates on a Porsche 911.

We're delighted to see that Porsche have invested more money in a synthetic fuel plant in Chile. With a target price of under £1.50 a litre, it can't come quick enough.

Grumpy has found an interesting article in The Guardian called "Why do we compare unrelated events", which deserves thorough reading, and explains some odd comments found on the internet.

A lady got stuck in a public toilet and had to be rescued by her husband, who had to put another 30p in to release his wife. After the rant went viral the council has closed the toilet for repairs.

We're both a bit creeped out by the Tesla bot due to be launched next year. In a related story Lippy's robotic vacuum cleaner managed to get stuck under a chair.

After many episodes (and an observation from Charlotte) we've named Chris and Charlotte, Duck Whisperer and Horse Whisperer.

Lippy has a top tip without an actual tip and Grumpy has a fun fact about honeymoons.

Plus, MOT passes, high mileage taxi or Trigger's Broom, rude cars, Lippy's new job, begging in car parks, message boards, the party jet, pet peeves and have we been fooled?

Charlotte's Shogun spectacularly failed the MOT due to rust and some other things and after six weeks after nearly catching fire in the MOT station it has an MOT certificate.

Lippy is staggered by the mileage on the Mercedes taxi that has been driven the furthest, however we think Trigger's Broom may come into play here.

A Danish owner of a new Audi had quite a rude message when they pressed a button on the dashboard for an option they hadn't purchased.

Lippy's new job is going well and she's feeling quite corporate.

Could you be breaking the law by asking for change in a car park? Grumpy somehow manages to get a rant in about online newspapers.

We've found a vet in America that has a massive message board outside, very creative staff and some very funny messages.

If you bought a Boeing 747 for £1, what would you do with it? Turn it into a party jet!!!

One newspaper described Sainsbury's Easter treat of carrots and a slightly unusual humous as vile. Nevertheless Lippy likes it, although she does odd things with a packet of crisps and a Twix bar.

Grumpy has a couple of pet peeves to get off his chest.

Have we been fooled by a fish can count scientific paper?

Lippy is recycling her top tips and Grumpy has an Olympic fun fact.

Plus, alopecia, disappearing microwave, the Zamboni machine, vigilante traffic warden, alternative energy and doors or wheels

Lippy has a new job (again) with a hybrid role based in London and at home.

Alopecia UK have posted what Will Smith should have done at the Oscars instead of striking Chris Rock. One of our listeners has swum the English Channel to raise money for the charity, although something weird happened to his tongue.

Lippy has an April Fool's prank that went a bit wrong and we wonder how many others had unintended consequences.

Grumpy has had a broken microwave oven on his drive way "stolen" whilst away on the boat. Useful, as it saves a trip to the dump, however a bit unnerving.

Lippy's neighbour is top of his game with bringing the bins back in for the surrounding neighbourhood.

Grumpy has found the ultimate car interior and Lippy is not so sure. There will be a lot more of this as Grumpy starts a car interior Instagram account.

As fans of ice hockey, we are familiar with the Zamboni machine, which has a very interesting history.

If your considering being a vigilante traffic warden beware, residents can get a bit fed up with stickers being put on their cars.

Grumpy's on a mission to reduce the cost of energy at Grumpy Towers and has found that solar panels are in high demand. His favourite YouTube channel, Harry's Garage has deep dived into emissions from full electric and hybrid cars, plus the possibility of sustainable fuel for the internal combustion engine.

A bit late to the party, nevertheless we look at the doors or wheels question. We're still undecided, not helped by some dodgy adding up by Lippy.

Which way do you cut your sandwich and do you get more sandwich cutting one way than another?

Plus, noisy heaters, ducks, tide timetables, teapots, bow thrusters and chocolate

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep65

Lippy's back, which is a massive release to Grumpy as he's a bit rubbish on his own.

Lippy talks about an incident at the Oscars, which Grumpy was blissfully unaware of. Was it fake or real????

Grumpy had a hilarious incident with a shopping trolley and his elderly mum.

Our boat trip was superb, albeit very cold at night. The noisy, smelly heater worked well in the living area, nevertheless couldn't reach the bedrooms.

Many places were shut, which is to be expected out of season. As it was quiet there were lots of opportunities to see wildlife, ducks in particular.

Grumpy managed to fall over whilst disembarking, fortunately not into the water.

We did an epic trip through Great Yarmouth requiring reading of tide timetables and some full throttle to overcome mixed currents.

Grumpy's bemused by when a toilet pump out was required and thinks it might be a bit of a con.

We found a teapot in Wroxham that pours properly, although the owner claims people pour too fast causing spillage.

Our recommendation is to try a boating holiday on the Broads and get a boat with a bow thruster. That said, don't try mooring at full speed as we witnessed.

Lippy's top tip involves chocolate, however there is some discussion about the pronunciation of cocoa. And Norwich.

Grumpy has a Norfolk Broads fun fact.

It's only a Grumpy fun fact this week as Lippy is unwell.

Normal service next week, assuming Lippy's cough has gone.

Plus, more on the fish operated vehicle, the final bathroom update, eating food in sections, The Batman and the new Aldi branch

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep63

The Screaming Tomato has been catching up with our podcasts. He's not happy with Grumpy muddling Jeff Lynne and Jeff Wayne. Oh dear. He casts into doubt the providence of Grumpy's piece of the Berlin Wall, however Grumpy is pretty certain it is genuine.

Grumpy has found further information about the fish operated vehicle, however stops short of spending money to read the entire paper.

Due to the passport mix up, we're off to the Norfolk Broads and Lippy is planning to considerably overpack as it could be cold at night. We're perturbed why the boat doesn't have a tin opener and why you need a rubber mallet.

According to the Daily Express great white sharks are on their way to the cooler UK waters from the Mediterranean.

Lippy's bathroom is so nearly finished, only the door and window blind to go.

Lippy has picked up Grumpy's trait of eating food in sections, although isn't quite as freaked out as Grumpy when food is touching on the plate.

Someone in Rotherham has two identical cars with the same number plate, as spotted by a "crime fighter".

Lippy has been to see The Batman and thoroughly enjoyed it. No spoilers given.

A new Aldi branch is opening a few minutes from Lippy Towers and we discuss Lippy's second favourite shop, Costco.

We're hoping to produce an on board episode next week, nevertheless really can't promise.

Plus, Lippy's bathroom, bridal customs, lidar sensors, black eyed peas, low level letter boxes and a donkey called Kevin

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep62

Grumpy has discovered the tea caddy has been left empty and he's not happy.

Lippy & Grumpy's ski trip has been abandoned after wife of Grumpy lost passports and Chris ended up on crutches after a game of football.

A live update from Davros, which is very welcome as is his donation for Charlotte's Shine Walk in September. Davros is keen to hear the fate of the roulette hustler and we're pleased to say he lived to a grand old age.

Lippy's bathroom is nearly complete and whilst planning to wait until it was finished before using it, Chris' football injury means an early bath.

Grumpy has found a list of bridal customs including why fathers walk brides down the aisle. Somehow Grumpy manages to compare bridesmaid's dresses and The Italian Job film, albeit the second one.

We're delighted that discarded face masks have been turned into batteries. We don't understand how this can be done, nor how the face masks can be plucked out of rubbish, nevertheless what a winner.

Lippy has a mid-episode top tip as she has recycled clothes with H&M and received a £5 voucher.

We've discovered lidar sensors on cars and ponder why Elon Musk isn't a fan.

Could rotating black eyed peas as a crop reduce the amount of fertiliser used. Queue some poor jokes by both Lippy and Grumpy.

An experiment has seen the construction of a Fish Operated Vehicle where goldfish can manoeuvre their tank past obstacles to common point. Quite why is a mystery. We talk about squirrels and then fail to understand how you task a fish.

Grumpy has a think about letter boxes at the bottom of the door and it turns out that the Communications Worker Union have been fighting against this since 1958.

It turns out that when you unsubscribe from an email list this is actioned by a donkey called Kevin.

Plus, Shine Night Walk, Grumpy's ideal bungalow and watching planes land in a storm

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep61

Another live update from Davros, keep them coming!

Lippy has had a fun weekend to celebrate Chris' birthday, including a trip to the War of the Worlds experience in London.

Charlotte has entered the Shine Night Walk, 26 miles through London in aid of Cancer Research UK.

Grumpy has been looking into stainless steel teapots and why they are so rubbish at pouring. There's not a lot of information and some of it is very technical. Fluid dynamics, don't you know.

Gareth Hughes has received a massive compensation cheque from his electricity provider, probably enough to pay all of our bills this year in the UK.

Grumpy has found the ideal bungalow for sale in Southampton, with one of his favourite objects in the front garden.

Lippy is not a fan of the latest craze of watching planes land at Heathrow during a storm.

We discuss how a gentleman in American won the equivalent of $8,000,000 in the late 60s by painstakingly analysing roulette wheels.

Plus, football matches, live listener feedback, vehicle recovery operators, filming locations, caravans, bathrooms, teapots that don't pour and hustle films

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep60

Lippy's been to a football match and was so disappointed she left before the end.

We had some live feedback from Davros as he listed to last week's podcast on Friday afternoon. The Screaming Tomato has a cracking fact about howitzers.

Following Lippy's comment about the tiler being a "character", Grumpy talks about vehicle recovery operators and how chirpy they can be, which can be received in many ways.

A great white shark has been spotted close to the south coast. Lippy reveals she fancies going in a shark cage. Not for Grumpy.

We talk about film locations around our respective homes and somehow get onto the subject of an engine manufacturing company.

Michigan is building a one-mile stretch of road that can wirelessly charge electric vehicles while they’re driving on it, which is brilliant. the topic changes to smart motorways, which aren't so brilliant. We talk about the electric taxis in London and the saving in fuel for the drivers.

A TikTok video, which Grumpy still doesn't understand, has shown a gentleman in Leeds pulling a caravan along a road. A very brave man.

Recent vegan (plus fish) convert Grumpy has found potato milk, however won't be trying it.

Lippy's bathroom is coming on well, looks fantastic although taking a bit longer than expected. Worth the wait.

Grumpy has a rant about aftermarket car parts after changing hoses on his elderly Volvo estate.

Last Friday was a slight disappointment as the large Russian transporter plane that Grumpy was expecting to land at Dunsfold Park turned out to be a much smaller Ukrainian Antonov.

Grumpy has a rant about motorway service station tea pots that don't pour as you would expect. Believe it or not this was triggered by the pot in a urine sample kit. Lippy has had a toilet flushing dilemma at the football, however was impressed by the free sanitary products.

There seem to be a spate (well, two) hustle type films based on true stories. Lippy & Grumpy have seen one and were quite shocked by the ending.

This week's top tip and fun fact both involve water.

Plus, Funko Pops, bathroom tiling, Winter Olympics, The Apprentice and skiing.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep59

Lippy & Grumpy record on a Sunday morning for the first time. Guess who forgot!

A friend of Grumpy has pointed him at Funko Pops and the Jaws characters in particular. We think they are very cool.

Salvador Dali used to doodle on the back of cheques paid to restaurants, often meaning they weren't paid in. Michael Jackson wrote ticket refund cheques himself, with a low cash rate.

We've discovered that Stephanie Matto was selling jars of her flatulence, until her very specific diet caused a trip to A&E.

Lippy's bathroom tiling is coming on well, albeit a bit behind schedule. Fingers crossed for completion on time.

The Loch Ness Monster has been spotted again in Loch Ness and in Wimbledon. Grumpy reminisces about a trip to Scotland.

We talk about Gregor McGregor who scammed £24million in the 19th century by selling bonds in a country that didn't exist.

Lippy recommends Fyre Festival on Netflix and Grumpy has a list of programmes from various sources he's enjoyed. Your mileage may vary.

We turn our attention to the Winter Olympics and we're both looking forward to the skier and snowboard cross. Grumpy reveals the only football fact he knows.

Lippy was shocked about the latest firing in The Apprentice, Grumpy was distracted by a jigsaw.

We're off on a ski trip soon and Grumpy has been investigating the price of ski lift passes, probably in too much detail.

Lippy has a calendar based top tip and Grumpy a lightening based fun fact.

Plus, Steven Bartlett, plant based diets, all you can eat food influencers, The Apprentice, and the World Rally Championship

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep58

We're back to our usual podcast format this week, with a mash-up of the episode that we recorded using the wrong microphone and some other going-ons.

Grumpy recommends the book 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings to complement nodcrafty moments.

Davros won an office quiz using an fun fact about mistletoe from our advent calendar. Unfortunately there wasn't a prize.

We talk about the newest dragon in Dragon's Den, Steven Bartlett, a very interesting chap with wise words.

There's a lot of development around plastic eating bacteria. We're very interested in this and have some questions. More research needed.

Grumpy's on a plant based diet (including fish, so not strictly vegan) and is suffering with wind. Lippy has a cracking tofu recipe that Grumpy is keen to try.

We've come across a story of all you can eat food influencers live streaming from restaurants, and in particular one who has been banned from the Handadi Seafood BBQ Buffet.

The Apprentice is providing some cringing entertainment, in particular Lord Sugar's one liners.

Lippy has a robotic vacuum cleaner and Grumpy has some tales of caution, including the possibility of nefarious activity.

The 1900s was a period of some unusual sports included in the Olympics, including motor boating.

Grumpy's love of rallying, having waned over the last few years is picking up again with rule changes to the 2022 World Rally Championship.

Lippy's new bathroom is well underway, with tiling starting this week, albeit two days late.

Lippy has a balloon arch top tip and Grumpy's fun fact is the source of a saying.

In this shorter than normal episode we explain why we've missed the last two weeks, why we love our audience and our trip to The Shark is Broken.

Grumpy had an epic equipment fail, which means this week's podcast is short. Very, very short.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep55

Happy New Year!

We're after a bit of an abrupt break. The good news is Lippy has a new job and isn't at home every day, which caused a bit of a scheduling hiccup. The bad news is that Grumpy has had various tests and has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. It's contained, small, slow growing and very treatable. We're all confident it can be eradicated.

Following on from the last episodes back in November, the Screaming Tomato has found another micronation, this time in Australia called the Principality of Hutt River, which has suffered the same fate as Sealand; not being recognised.

Also the Screaming Tomato has found a thing called Sucking the Monkey, where sailors in days gone by would help themselves to liquor in barrels by making a small hole and using a straw to drink its contents. Whether that's why the barrel containing the body of Admiral Horatio Nelson arriving in England was empty is not known. The act is also know as Taping the Admiral and there is a pub so named in Kentish Town, London.

The photo of the Clarion stereo system we featured in the last episode is real, no Photoshopping here.

Our audio advent calendar worked in Davros' favour where one the more obscure fun facts won him the office Christmas quiz. Well done Davros!

Grumpy is slightly confused by Christmas cards that can be reused as a post card. Given the picture is a Christmas scene, when do you send them?

After a controversial end of season Formula 1 race, we found the crash costs for each driver in 2021. The bills are eye watering expensive.

Grumpy wonders whether James Bond's aim in life is to travel the world annoying bad people and has spotted the fact that ventriloquists laugh at their own jokes.

Lippy has started wedding invites and the guest numbers for the day are creeping up.

We discuss a Tesla owner in Singapore that had a rather high tax bill based on emissions. Grumpy has a confession about vehicles that have a zero emissions badge.

The first flight using synthetic petrol has taken place and the future and credentials of this are looking good.

Nod crafty was Susie Dent's word of the day from December, and we're both guilty of doing it.

What shape do you think goat's pupils are? The answer might surprise you.

Leicester are putting gardens on the top of bus shelters with plants to attract bees and other pollinating insects. Bravo we say and can we have them down here please?

Lippy has a caps lock top tip and a smelly fun fact.

Door number 24 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 23 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 22 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 21 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 20 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 19 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 18 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 17 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 16 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 15 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 14 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 13 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 12 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 11 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 10 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 9 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 8 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 5 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 4 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 3 is a Lippy Top Tip

Door number 2 is a Grumpy Fun Fact

Door number 1 is a Lippy Top Tip

We've run out of time this week to produce our usual high quality podcast (!) so he's one of our favourites. Normal service and our Advent Calendar will be resumed next week.

Davros may have solved the gnome shortage we discussed in episode 30 despite having a stereotyped view of gnomes. He's also an expert on two-brained dinosaurs after Lippy's "top" brain comment.

Lippy has a bee in her bonnet about the Champions League final being played in Turkey despite having two English teams playing. Neither of us know very much about football, nor the politics involved, nevertheless we don't think this is a good idea for several reasons.

Gus the seagull has been making the news, having worked out to steal sandwiches from his local Co-Op. Grumpy has a great idea for a product that means you can eat your fish and chips on the beach without having half of it stolen by seagulls.

We talk about how a student in America worked out how to park his Jeep on his college campus for free. Also the Ohio State Senator who, on a Zoom call, tried to disguise the fact he was driving his car at the time. People using Zoom is the gift that keeps giving!

Grumpy marshalled at the Jigsaw Run, which aside from some wayward runners went well. He also found out something interesting about a large sheet of metal at Dunsfold Aerodrome.

The screaming Tomato contacted Grumpy and mentioned the Dunning-Kruger effect, which Grumpy does his best to explain without offending anyone. Part of the effect is that you don't know you are doing it, so both Grumpy & Lippy apologise as they suspect they may be guilty.

Grumpy has read the excellent book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss several times and Lippy has read half. Well worth a read.

Rant alert! Lippy has had a nightmare with solicitors and her house move, so close and yet so far.

Grumpy has a Top Tip involving WD40 and a Fun Fact on feeding yourself for a year with a first class airline ticket

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep54

Last week we talked about Disney and Peter Pan and it turns out that the animated film was made in 1953 by Disney.

Grumpy caused a kerfuffle on Facebook by showing a Christmas tree made from reclaimed horseshoes, with the horseshoes apparently upside down.

Lippy has had a successful wedding dress shopping trip and typically Grumpy says "I've bought cars for a lot less"

Grumpy has been pondering whilst welding horseshoes to make Christmas trees, whether metal is a liquid in a similar way to glass being classed as between liquid and solid. We expect research from the Screaming Tomato.

We're in awe of the Peddling Picasso who has created an image on a Strava map depicting a man's head with a moustache with a bicycle. Three months in the planning and 8 hours to cycle. Grumpy suggests that with her new FitBit, Lippy attempts something similar.

We both fancy robbing a bank, however don't fancy prison, so the Money Heist Experience in London seems to be the perfect solution.

At a wedding fair, Lippy had the opportunity to hold an owl, which was an amazing experience. Despite the staring and head swiveling. Grumpy has had to rescue young blue tits from Lippy's old bedroom.

Grumpy is very excited at the discovery of sound mirrors on Romney Marsh in Kent, an early form of radar.

We have a quote from the late Rik Mayall that sums our podcast perfectly.

Grumpy has found a 1980's car stereo to beat the Nissan Gloria.

Grumpy's allotment has had a delivery of over 6 tons of top quality compost from the Royal Horseguards, no excuse for not growing anything next year.

Lippy has a FitBit top tip and Grumpy has a geo-political fun fact.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep53

Lippy tries to sneak a sweet in at the start of the podcast only to find it's the sourest of the sourest. Karma I say.

Grumpy owns up to a misleading statement about the amount of plastic a washing machine filter captures and to a wrong fun fact.

The Cranleigh Lions bonfire and fireworks was a roaring success and Grumpy reminisces about Beaujolais night in France many years ago.

Lippy has her wedding dress buying session this week and very little to organise. There's a bit of to and fro over the band playing the first song, however all is well.

Grumpy has found a micronation six miles off the Suffolk coast called Sealand, on a World War 2 gun emplacement, previously used as a pirate radio station. Not recognised as a sovereign state by anybody other than the 50 people who claim to live there, despite having a constitution, parliament, passport and stamps.

Richard Osman's House of Games has a sister show At Night on BBC1. Grumpy has seen it and he's not impressed and will go back to loving the 6pm version.

In an episode full of odd stories, we cover the decision to pickle Horatio Nelson in brandy so he could be transported back to England aboard the damaged Victory. Was it the right decision? Should rum have been used?

Lippy has been attempting to be cool by sliding into DMs. Nothing to do with a certain brand of boot. Anyway, Lippy made a suggestion to Pot Noodle and not heard anything. I can feel a social media storm coming on.

Grumpy has been looking at misquoted lines from films and amazingly he's found most of them are too pedantic for him. Who would have thought?

A story about Davy Crockett wrestling a bear on a series called Timeless reminds him of Lippy's bear story. She's not impressed.

A gentleman called Peter Glazebrook has an obsession with growing massive vegetables and holds a number of world records. Four foot leeks and 67 pound cabbages are nothing unusual.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep52

Lippy is feeling better this week, although had a pre-recording nap after a fun-filled day off including pottery painting.

The Screaming Tomato has sent some married name funnies in and incorrectly guessed Lippy's married name, which is causing some spelling problems.

Grumpy's been on a trip to the Bond exhibition at Beulieu with a fine array of cars and other objects from the latest film. He was taken by a motorbike that had been ridden through 54 countries in 7 continents and is looking forward to reading Steph Jeavons' book of her adventures.

Lippy admits to watching Christmas films in November and Grumpy has spotted a decoration based on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, one of his favourite Christmas films. Lippy's planning on making some Christmas decorations, which somehow leads to a discussion about a moth covering moustache.

Grumpy's perplexed by the throwing of coins in ponds and fountains. Whilst there is a long established tradition, coin throwing has lead to the demise of wildlife, so maybe it's time to stop.

We discuss the smuggling of a corned beef sandwich into space, the fall out and the sandwich's current home in a NASA museum. Lippy somehow thinks that the museum is in Reading, which it isn't.

The Thames Barrier quietly gets on with its job of protecting the capital and has had it's 200th lowering since opening in 1982. We're planning a Lippy & Grumpy trip to see the gubbins.

Lippy has been to Costco after more confusion about Reading and we both agree it's a great place to shop for bulk buys and free tasters. Lippy has been eying up trees in Costco with lights already fitted. Grumpy is not so sure having had bad experiences with Christmas lights over the years.

It's our local bonfire this weekend, Grumpy will be compering and encouraging people to donate to the Cranleigh Lions.

Brooklands have sent out a very nice badge to members that kept their membership running during lockdown with a card signed by Damon Hill. A very pleasant surprise.

Lippy is contemplating Christmas cards this year. It will never happen!

We've found some interesting photos taken of delivered parcels, some people do pose for the photo. Lippy discovers the meaning of the arrow in the Amazon logo.

Grumpy has come across filters for washing machines that filter out micro plastics that end up in ocean and has put a deposit down for a Gulp unit. Lippy is also excited about this and suggested receiving one for Christmas.

We're planning an audio advent calendar for December, 24 days of our tips and fun facts and Christmas music. What is there not to like?

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep51

We start by morning the passing of James Michael Tyler aka Gunther from Friends, a great character in a great series.

Grumpy's been counting beans and has calculated there are a staggering 2,935 beans in a 2.62kg catering tin.

The Screaming Tomato has been in touch with a name he came up with for a software system. It was very rude and we won't repeat it here. He did redeem himself with PIOSEE though.

We're on Audible!!!! Albeit in an odd category.

It's bonfire season and we both agree that it's a weird and macabre event. Nevertheless, bonfire building meant Grumpy bumped into Orange Marshal 2 and Davros, both of which had interesting stories to tell.

Italy has a pizza making vending machine, Germany has a sausage vending machine for late night feasts. In addition to a selection to sausages it also vends eggs and we can't help think they will be broken by the time you get your hands on them.

Davros revealed the origin of the word lurgi and it's not what you would think. Fitting as Lippy has been suffering with the lurgi for a couple of days.

You may think of otters as cute creatures, however there is a rogue gang in Anchorage, chasing children and dogs. Beware!

Lippy's married name is an unusually spelt common word, which is causing her some grief. Grumpy has a case study of the brain subconsciously correcting something that's wrong or different courtesy of his hero James Burke.

Someone's built a conveyor belt from Lego to apply toppings to a pizza base and then cut the cooked pizza. Lippy then goes on a bonfire night food fest.

Grumpy has a new induction hob and he's very, very impressed despite only having a few pans that work.

Lippy has stocked up for Halloween and will be restocking due to consumption. Grumpy's not a fan. Surprise, surprise.

You can have too much pi, 62.8 trillion digits to be precise. Why?

Lippy's top tip involves how to avoid injury when scaring your friends and Grumpy's top tip combines space travel and a favourite actor.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep50

Grumpy's a bit confused about the Sky Glass tv and service covered in last week's podcast and Lippy thinks her tv offers all that Glass has to offer. Who knows?

Captain Kirk has been up into space with Blue Origin and we've both laughed at a spoof article that he's having to work off the cost of his ticket in an Amazon factory. At least we think it's a spoof.

From a question in Richard Osman's House of Games, Grumpy and Wife of Grumpy had very different ideas for what the R in RUCSAC stood for, the mnemonic that stands for the six steps that students need to take when tackling a maths question.

More angst in the baking industry, this time it's the sprinkles used by a Leeds bakery. We suspect this may go on for some time.

Lippy's started watching iZombie on Netflix for the second time and it sounds like a cracking series, not your usual screaming, running zombie apocalypse.

The arrival of a new clock at Lippy's house has sparked a very odd conversation. Needless to say there will be some mocking for a very long time.

From another question in Richard Osman's House of Games, Grumpy has discovered a 50,000 word book that contains no words with the letter e. Initially keen to read this somewhat odd piece of work, Grumpy has decided it would be hard work and not worth the effort.

B&M have a Christmas reindeer that's a bit too anatomically correct. A great piece of PR.

Grumpy has been investigating baked beans for some reason and has uncovered a number of interesting facts. One thing is for sure, we both like a how are they made programme.

Grumpy is very dismissive of most metrics, particularly if they are simple to establish, and has an example of this.

Lippy has a top tip following an expensive trip to the picture framers.

No fun fact from Grumpy this week, instead a fantastic podcast about Jaws called Jaws for a Minute. Our special edition on Jaws is coming, albeit very slowly.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep49

We celebrate a year of podcasting and thank you for wishing Lippy well with her engagement.

Tickets have been booked for The Shark is Broken and we're both looking forward to seeing the play in January.

Grumpy's not a fan of inspirational messages on the socials, nevertheless has found one involving Batman that meets his approval. And he slips in an early fun fact regarding the misuse of apostrophes, meanwhile Lippy averts an apostrophe dilemma with her wedding invitation.

Lippy is keen to get her wedding planned as soon as possible and has made appointments for venues and dresses over the next few weeks. Somehow we drift into the topic of data protection, not for long though.

Grumpy has a video clip of the Japanese subway pushers who make sure the doors close on a very full train by pushing people into the train.

Sky are ditching the dish and offering a single television offering all of the online streaming platforms with no additional boxes and a single remote control and no more "what side is Bosch on?" Grumpy reminisces about the satellite companies in the late 1980s with the squareial offered by British Satellite Broadcasting.

Grumpy is very excited about the return of the Lancia Delta as an electric vehicle although concerned about Italian wiring having owned two Deltas in the past.

We're excited that the original Captain Kirk, William Shatner, at the age of 90 is going into space on the Blue Origin rocket and should be back on earth by the time you read this. Lippy has a top prank for a space trip, which would probably mean unemployment by the end of the day.

Blankety Blank is back on TV and Grumpy is enjoying it. Short, simple and fun, all good qualities for a game show.

Lippy had to leave a note on a car after some inconsiderate parking outside of her house. People, please park considerately!

Lippy has been munching on biscuits again and this week it's the classic crunch cream.

Talk turns to Christmas, Grumpy is attempting to make Christmas trees from used horseshoes for the Lions market stall, which opens in November.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep48

Big news from Lippy, which means Grumpy can deploy some sound effects. Chris proposed to Lippy on their long weekend to Edinburgh and Grumpy is relieved as he's known for a month and has almost let the cat out of the bag on a couple of occasions. Needless to say, wedding planning is now at full speed.

After Lippy's experience in a park last week, the Screaming Tomato shared his experience with scaring hitchhikers and Grumpy met some new listeners in a rare trip to London.

Wife of Grumpy had a mishap with a plastic chopping board, filling the downstairs with smoke, fumes and a horrid smell.

We've found an article suggesting that a fuel thief siphoned from the toilet rather than the fuel tank. Grumpy thinks the story isn't true, nevertheless grimaced at the thought and owns up about some stupidity with putting fuel stabiliser in the Mini ahead of the Brooklands Mini Day.

Grumpy has found a play in London called The Shark is Broken based on the relationship between the main three actors in Jaws, sat in the Orca waiting for the shark to work, perfect for our special on the film Jaws, once Grumpy has finished reading every book in existence on the subject.

We both want to go to the Edinburgh Fringe one year, which is where The Shark is Broken originated, however not sure how you choose what to watch.

We both like a biscuit and have our favourites, however the burning question is how long can you dunk them for? Fortunately Wren Kitchens have carried out some extensive research into the matter.

Not surprisingly Lippy has a wedding based top tip and Grumpy a car based fun fact.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep47

We don't want to talk about the current petrol shortage in the UK, nevertheless we don't want people to judge others based on a picture only. We had a good laugh about the BBC reporter Phil McCann covering the shortage.

Grumpy's pleased that Alfa Romeo are committed to not building a car around an iPad and Lippy has been eying up electric cars. Until she worked out the price.

Thunderbirds Day was yesterday, we believe, celebrating the first broadcast of Grumpy's childhood favourite TV series, Thunderbirds. Grumpy has an explanation for Supermarionation, a word that foxed him for many years.

Lippy fully approves of Grumpy's new favourite joke, albeit a bit on the cheesy side.

Lippy has had a trip out to the big smoke, fed celery to meerkats and freaked out in a dark park late at night.

We present some myths about defibrillators, not a work that Lippy can pronounce easily. Actually there's only one myth, however the message is, get trained to use a defibrillator, you might save a life.

Grumpy has found some weird customs around the world and has an odd occupation in Japan and an unusual use of cinnamon in Denmark.

We look at one of the award winners for the Ig Noble awards for this year and come to the conclusion the premise was dreamt up one Saturday night in the pub.

We're both lusting after the Mini Moke, relaunched in 2017 and soon to be made solely in the UK, although the next batch is only 56 cars.

Grumpy has found some rural skirmishes, including ASBOs for animals and Ed Sheeran's pond.

Lippy finally remembered her top tip, which is related to the best time to turn up for an event. Grumpy's fact involves playing golf on the moon.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep46

Grumpy's been looking into the history of podcasting and has found the term first appeared in 2004. There's now over 2 million podcasts and over 48 million episodes. Thanks for listening!

The Nissan Gloria last week produced an outpouring of love for car buttons over touch screens. Orange Marshall 2 rose to the new cement mixer challenge and found one in use.

Lippy has been exercising the pedantic gene over a bowl of custard proving it's important to be precise. Somehow we start to talk about the odd method the French use for counting.

We look though a list of unusual police department names, mostly in the US. Our favourite, not surprisingly, is the Sandwich Police.

Lippy has a list of busted myths including the origin of fortune cookies and that Napoleon was measured in French feet, which are larger than the English imperial system.

Wife of Grumpy has found Polish Dragon Boat tug of war, which is an frenetic activity.

Douglas Smith has smashed the World Record by growing 839 cherry tomatoes from a single stem. Grumpy's mate managed three from an entire greenhouse.

News of a special paint to reflect heat on pavements and roads has reached Grumpy Towers and we really impressed.

Lippy's had a good day presenting and training her colleagues, and will be the continuity announcer at the Cranleigh Lions Classic Car Show on 14 August 2022.

Lippy has a cake related top tip and Grumpy goes berserk with a fun fact.

Find the current week's links at https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep45

We survived DIY Sunday, without injury, a minor mistake with the delivery of timber and finished in time to watch an eventful Grand Prix.

Lots of listener feedback this week, which we are grateful for, including a very complicated post about survivorship bias. Orange Marshall 2 informs us that you can report dirty motorway signs via the Highways England website. We've also had a joke from the Screaming Tomato. Or at least we think it's a joke, we're not 100% sure.

Grumpy's keen on Land Rover Defenders, nevertheless he's not sure about the new model and very suspicious about the electric towbar as demonstrated on Harry's Farm. Keeping with the car theme, we've found peak car button in a 1987 Nissan Gloria, which sports a separate hi-fi system worthy of a lounge. The Gloria also features the largest wing mirrors ever seen. Meanwhile Lippy thought that the terms wing mirror and door mirror are synonymous and called wing mirrors because they look like wings.

Grumpy has had another vehicle breakdown and is still refusing to buy something newer.

We both love a gameshow, although, not surprisingly, Grumpy has some fixed guidelines when watching a new show. The conversation turns to creating our own game show, which includes a fair amount of cheese.

Grumpy's surprised about the number of mattress adverts on the TV at certain times of the day and wonders whether you have to return the mattress in the original packaging if you want to return it.

Lippy has two top tips this week and makes up for the last two week's slightly rubbish tips. Grumpy's fact goes on for a bit, nevertheless is worth the wait

Plus, the mystery object revealed, scooters from 1916, Christmas has started, making fertilizer from urine, shutting doors on a Tesla and cooking salmon in a dishwasher

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep44

On various social media, we showed one of Grumpy's new purchases and asked what it was. Many listeners of a certain age got it right - it's a pickled onion fork, as demonstrated by Grumpy on the 'gram.

We had a picture of a Twotter sent in and Lippy & Grumpy are considering L&G Twotter Spotter merch.

Wife of Grumpy had a breakdown needing a new coolant tank cap, but not after Grumpy had invested in yet another tool.

Lippy's had an adventure with ordering skin cream for an expecting friend, yet Grumpy can't work out what's wrong with a big tub of E45.

The recent hot weather means Lippy is keeping the rather odd light fitting/fan in her bedroom, inherited from the previous owner. Apparently it's very effective at cooling the room.

We've found the latest e-scooter craze isn't new, dating back to 1916, with some brilliant photographs, adverts and articles from the time.

Grumpy is not only disappointed in Christmas trees appearing in The Range, wife of Grumpy has bought four advent calendars already.

Why don't you see brand new cement mixers in use? If you see one on a building site let us know.

Grumpy has discovered that a French company has perfected the art of transforming urine into agricultural fertilizer. We've found a local brewery that is reusing the heat generated in one part of the brewing process to heat the offices and provide heat earlier in the process.

The Tesla Model X has warnings when you set off with the gull winged door open, which was ignored by a driver ending up in an expensive accident. Unfortunately, all captured on video.

Lippy & Grumpy are in awe of Dario Costa who flew his Red Bull stunt plane through two Turkish tunnels at an altitude of 70cm. Fortunately, all captured on video.

Would you eat salmon cooked in a dishwasher. Lippy says no, Grumpy thinks it's a time saving tip.

One thing that makes Grumpy grumpy are grubby road signs. The German's have the answer for this and it's a wonderful collaboration of engineering.

Lippy has a somewhat odd top tip and Grumpy revisits last week's fun fact thanks to a message from the Screaming Tomato.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep43

Having taken a break from our weekly podcast, Lippy & Grumpy are back and planning not to bore you with holiday tales. Will they succeed?

Grumpy has been making the most of his breakdown cover having broken down twice in August, including the campervan, which split a hose on the A31 near Ringwood causing traffic chaos.

Much to Lippy's amusement, Grumpy has bought a smoking pipe from an antiques shop in Swanage along with a mystery object. Do you know what it is?

Grumpy and wife of Grumpy took part in Minis at Goodwood, a fund raiser for ButtleUK and won a trophy! Who would have thought?

A month off has resulted in discovery an avalanche of interesting engineering projects including Thunderbuggy, a jet powered Amish buggy.

Lippy has been perfecting her decorating skills and has completed two rooms successfully. Measuring seems to need further work though and has resulted in an injury.

Jimmy Fallen has a list of first date fiascos and Grumpy thinks one of them could have been Lippy. Both have early date stories, including non-payment and over use of chopsticks. Lippy has a top-tip for eating duck pancakes

The Lippy & Grumpy specials are coming on, however Grumpy is now obsessing about the film Jaws. There are so many books and websites to read the special could take some time.

Grumpy is also obsessed with the decline in bees, butterflies and insects and is planning flowers and plants in the allotment to encourage them. Some discussion on the Splat-o-meter for measuring insect decline ensues and Lippy isn't convinced it's the best tool for declining species.

Which part of a plane do you strengthen? In the Second World War this was a questioned posed to engineers with details of where returning planes had damage. The answer may not be immediately obvious.

Lippy & Grumpy's favourite tool, WD-40 has many uses, some unusual and we have picked two from a long list.

More on Zippo lighters, with a less wasteful way of starting a fire.

There have been a few allotment disasters, mostly to do with the weather and the timing of holidays, however rhubarb is doing very well. Somehow we get from planting flowers to Grumpy's Grandmother's laundry equipment.

Lippy's top tip is to do with measuring and is more stating the obvious. Grumpy has a shark related fact, he is obsessed.

We're on holiday during August and will be researching some special episodes. So you don't miss out on Lippy & Grumpy, here's our episode where Davros has a solution to the gnome shortage, a sandwich snatching seagull, free parking and a WD40 based top tip

Our next new podcast will be out on Friday 3rd September 2021. See you then!

We're on holiday during August and will be researching some special episodes. So you don't miss out on Lippy & Grumpy, here's the episode where we recited the story of burying the cat twice, back seat flyers, the Canadian-Danish war, Hannu Mikkola and a Lippy top tip best avoided.

Our next new podcast will be out on Friday 3rd September 2021. See you then!

We're on holiday during August and will be researching some special episodes. So you don't miss out on Lippy & Grumpy, here's our episode including Leerdammer roulette, James Fridman, a giving blood incident, Weetabix and cats on Zoom

Our next new podcast will be out on Friday 3rd September 2021. See you then!

We're on holiday during August and will be researching some special episodes. So you don't miss out on Lippy & Grumpy, here's our very first episode where we talk about digital pregnancy testers, cheese, Aldi (Lippy's favourite supermarket) and Christmas adverts.

Our next new podcast will be out on Friday 3rd September 2021. See you then!

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep42

Lippy's consumer advice about Too Good To Go Bags has been acted upon by Mini Matt and the result has been amazing, a massive amount of food for £4.

Grumpy made a bit of a boo-boo last week suggesting that the sun has an orbit. That's not what he meant! A serious conversation is interrupted by Lippy's sink. Serious? Who are we kidding? Anyway, Lippy uses some odd terms whilst Grumpy tries to explain about the sun wobbling.

Lippy has found out she is older than Google, unless you apply internet years, which are 7 years for every human year.

Grumpy has broken down in his 1999 Volvo V70 and had to be recovered home. Just 8 miles short of 275,000 miles on the clock he's hoping it is a duff coil pack. Tim, the recovery man, was an interesting chap and he and Grumpy had a right old rant about not-so smart motorways.

We've discovered that the Dorking Cat Killer has had an incident with other species so from now on known as the Dorking Lippy has had .

Lippy had an odd experience attempting to get into a Cornish cider farm with her friend who had forgotten her id.

Grumpy is not convinced about cooling down on a hot day by having a hot drink and wonders why the reverse isn't true.

Lippy get confused about Grumpy's revelation that his sister cleans her glasses in the bath. This could have been avoided by being more specific and stating they were reading glasses, not drinking glasses.

Why do some people leave ordering shoes days before a wedding when they have known about the event for 2 years?

We talked about Stan Larkin last week, who spent 555 days with an artificial heart in a backpack, and Grumpy has more information.

Grumpy has had a bumper rhubarb crop, quite a bit has gone to Lippy.

Lippy has a washing machine top tip and Grumpy manages to squeeze a car based fact in.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep41

Grumpy is really excited about the successful Blue Origin space flight, which took the oldest and the youngest person into space. Lippy was relieved that Wally Funk had a windows seat, however as Grumpy explained it, the capsule was similar to a very fast conservatory, with plenty of opportunity to see the view.

Lippy has been on a trip to Cornwall to see a friend, has consumed many pasties and the odd ice cream. Her friend's dog's first swimming lesson didn't go well, however he was back in the water the next day so no harm done!

A listener has contacted us about an AI system that can tell the sex of a person by looking at a photo of their retina, the problem is that nobody can work out how it knows the difference.

We've had a communication about applying butter to bumps on the head from the Screaming Tomato who grew up in South Africa. Never knees though.

Grumpy's swimming mate, 90 year old Giovanni has completed his 10km walk over 10 days and has raised a stack of money. Well done.

NASA have predicted that the moon's wobbly orbit in the mid 2030's could cause flooding. Lippy has some heard some odd theories about the origins of NASA that turn out to be complete bunkum.

There has been another episode of daft behaviour on Old Harry in Dorset. Lippy discovers the meaning of the word clot.

Grumpy is very pleased with the commercial version of clearvoice.ai, cuts down the editing of the podcast and is clever enough to know the difference between an intended and unintended ummm.

We discuss the pirate name of various family members and friends, great fun!

We have a rant about people being horrible and also not considering any other view than their own and we're reminded of the saying "When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser"

Grumpy has harvested 10kg of onions and garlic and is very pleased.

The sink hole outside Grumpy's house is nearly complete and he's been wondering whether the digger could be hotwired for a bit of evening fun.

We have twin temperature top tips and a medical fact.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep40

Uncharacteristically, Lippy had a dreadful game of Monopoly, which was won by wife of Grumpy and just as well as it was her birthday.

The RAC has confirmed our view that cars are getting bigger and garages are used more to store "stuff" rather than cars. Grumpy has turned up something unexpected about insurance costs when lucking your car away in a garage for the night.

Sinkhole watch has been active this week, unlike the crew who are repairing the drain and road who waited 2 days for a digger, 3 days for a toilet and are still waiting for a skip so they can use the digger. Not an efficient operation. Grumpy's not impressed with the information board from Thames Water.

Lippy's found Too Good To Go bags, where you can book up a bag of food from various local cafes, restaurants and shops containing various items that have a sell buy date of that day. A great way to reduce food wastage and have a cheap lunch the next day.

In a roundup of weird and unusual news, Grumpy has found a flute made out of chocolate and Lippy has discovered that squid have been sent into space to study the effect of space travel on astronauts.

We talk about the space adventures of Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos and the Karman Line and whether Branson has gone into space or not. We are in awe of Wally Funk, an 82 year old lady who trained as an astronaut in the 1960s and has never been into space, and will be joining Jeff Bezos on the 20th July 2021. We both wish her well in her epic trip and Lippy hopes she has a window seat. Good grief!

Grumpy has found a Dad in the US who has hot glued his remotes together, plus a bluetooth tag to prevent them getting lost. With a not very smart TV and several additional boxes connected the Grumpy household has several remotes that end up at all ends of the house.

Lippy has a decorating top tip and Grumpy's fact is about the seemingly indestructible Ernest Hemmingway.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep39

We're changed to Riverside.fm for recording our podcast and Grumpy has found a control panel full of sound effects, that you can also add to. Sorry if this gets annoying!

Davros has made a return with a brilliantly funny story about a childhood incident with a plunger and butter.

Lippy has turned her hand to assembling flat pack furniture and whilst claiming to have read the instruction has discovered she missed the bit that said "assemble loosely first" despite being in capitals and bold. One dining room chair lays forlorn on the floor. Oh dear.

Grumpy is pleased with himself after resoldering a tiny resistor in a speedometer and fixing an errant fuel gauge.

Boyfriend of Lippy had an "incident" in Lippy's car, not his fault, however is caused a bit of annoyance. We suspect this may drag on a bit.

After caterpillar cake gate a few months ago, Marks & Spencer are attracting legal attention from Dishoom after allegedly copying a bacon naan roll. Whatever the outcome the food looks tasty and we'll be having a go at recreating it at home.

BakeryScan, a software AI product that identifies pastries on a production line is being used to identify cancer cells at two major hospitals. Amazingly there is a success rate of 99% and we're looking forward to hearing more about this use of technology.

We then look at inventions that happened by accident, including penicillin, Post-it Notes and the Slinky.

Lippy claims to invented the next video streaming service, where it is projected onto the eyelids, however someone is already investigating this and unlike Lippy, understands how to interface with the brain. A fascinating topic, however a bit beyond the comprehension of Lippy & Grumpy.

Grumpy has a bee in his bonnet about the use of "over and out" in films and TV programmes and has uncovered the true meaning of roger and wilco in radio conversations.

Lippy's top tip involves football and girlfriends and Grumpy's fact is about Henry Ford.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep38

Lippy has been busy with DIY, however is finding her social life is getting in the way. One solution is to have a painting party, nevertheless Grumpy not convinced the quality will be there. Lippy is surprised how much dust is generated when sanding and the fact it ends up everywhere.

Grumpy has an update on the missing pigeons from last week, apparently 10,000 have gone astray and he gives some information about what to so if you spot a confused pigeon in your garden.

Orange marshal 2 has alerted us to motor racing incidents involving kangaroos in Australia. Makes the Indy squirrel we covered last week look very tame.

Grumpy is a member of the local Lions club and they had their carnival last weekend, with Grumpy getting the plum job of commentating. A much needed event after over 18 months of nothing major and blessed by excellent weather, some amazing acts in the arena and tremendous support from local businesses and residents.

Grumpy has a theory that there is an international sign for a broken down bus - lean a seat base up against the back of the bus. Is he right?

Lippy had a near collision with a deer whilst driving and we go off on a tangent about services on a dual carriageway that have taken over 20 years to build and then suddenly appeared almost overnight.

We talk about a lady from New Zealand that has had a tiddlywinks counter stuck in her nose for 39 years after, as an eight year old, a game went off at a tangent, not unlike many topics on this podcast. All is well now, we are pleased to report.

Grumpy has been very excited about cars this week. The Lada Niva, an epic and cheap 4x4, almost unchanged for 40 years, is being imported back into the UK. A test on YouTube by Jonny Smith led to disaster though. The new concept Lancia Delta Integrale and the restomod Lancia 037 has got Grumpy in a right old state, not that Lippy cares, comparing the original Integrale to a BMW.

Not much action with the sinkhole outside Grumpy's house aside for the local birds to feast on.

We've not had a Zoom story for a while and this week we see a lady in America has worn the same Hawaiian shirt for 264 Zoom meetings over the last 14 months without anyone noticing.

Lippy's top tip is a yummy one and Grumpy's fun fact is about elephants and World War 2.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep37

We're back after Lippy's house move last week, which apart from an absent van went very well. We discovered a superb cafe close to Lippy Towers and Lippy is starting out on a DIY adventure.

From our listeners we had a picture of a Twotter and kayaking. We've also had confirmation from Private Eye that daleks have been climbing stairs since 1988.

The sinkhole outside Grumpy's house has received some attention this week, however a broken gas pipe has delayed progress. During recording an enormous machine turned up and sucked earth out of the hole, not spraying concrete as Grumpy thought.

We've had news that racing pigeons have been affected by solar flare activity at the weekend. Lippy was confused about how they found their way home and thought they were shown a map. Oh dear!

A man received a father's day card by mistake, which his partner didn't take kindly to. Lippy's father's day card to Grumpy was a corker and will be on the 'gram soon.

One lucky squirrel narrowly missed being squished by an Indy car, which leads us on to think snakes in F1 cars could liven it up a bit.

Grumpy has found a series of not so good animal photos, with one of a particularly irate bird. Whilst they won't win a photography competition, they are great to look at nonetheless.

We spoke about running the computer game Doom on a pregnancy tester many podcast episodes ago and it seems that you can now run Doom using the processor chip from an Ikea smart bulb.

Grumpy's been tipped off about an amazing website that shows where bombs fell on London during the blitz of October 1940 to June 1941.

Lippy has been back into the office, although got lost trying to find the bosses office. Grumpy admits to getting lost in open plan offices and had to rely on a bank of clocks as a landmark.

Grumpy has managed to resuscitate two Brussel sprout plants and fears it might be too late for them to grow. Meanwhile the strawberry thief is back in town and whilst Grumpy has a plan for securing them, his measurement technique has caused havoc.

Lippy has a theory about the weather and hay fever as she is suffering quite a bit, sorry about the sniffing.

Lippy has an empowering top tip and Grumpy's fun fact involves a very large net.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep36

Lippy wants to talk kayaks and first a reminder of the differences between kayaks and canoes, although Grumpy will continue to use the two terms interchangeably. Lippy had a fun time on the Basingstoke canal and claims to have been doing "tricks" in a hired kayak. A mate of Grumpy's kept dreaming he was canoeing down Everest having read a book by Mike Jones. Grumpy relates the story of the Grumpy family kayak trip in France. Up side - saw a kingfisher, down side - missed the pickup point.

Lippy has seen a company that hires out hot tubs to motor up and down the Thames, much easier than kayaking, which Grumpy and sister of Grumpy did many years ago.

Lippy & Grumpy's advice is that kayaking is fun and always wear a buoyancy aid.

With some people going back into their offices, Grumpy has a bit of a moan about open plan offices and their detrimental effect on productivity. One of Lippy & Grumpy's favourite films is Office Space, which is an excellent parody of office life.

Lippy's heard about a company whose staff want the option to work at home and have a permanent desk. Despite the concept of hot desking bothering Grumpy a lot, he does think that if you want to work at home then you need to have some flexibility with desk space, particularly if the company shares the savings with the staff. Which will never happen.

Wired magazine has an excellent article about work culture and how environments with free evening meals and nap pods encourages staff to stay later. Whether this increases productivity or not remains to be seen.

Lippy has a bottle opening related top tip and Grumpy has an example of not leaving stuff until the next day.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep35

Lippy managed to break last week's recording by admitting she was wrong, a glitch in the matrix possibly.

We have further information about the South African rugby spectator that was shot by someone testing their rifle. Thanks to the Screaming Tomato for finding this in the Scams of the Underworld section of South Africa Weird and Wonderful by Rob Marsh.

Why no nickname for Lippy's partner Chris?

Listeners are split with whether eggs should be kept in the fridge or not, nevertheless the internet suggests that they should be kept in the fridge and not in the door mounted egg holders. After talking about the lifespan of balsamic last week we've had a tip off that Worcestershire sauce can last unopened up to 10 years.

Grumpy's favourite cartoon from Punch magazine in 1981 featuring three daleks and a flight of stairs has been ruined by levitating daleks, which he's still cross about.

This is the last podcast episode before Lippy's house move (hoorah!!!) and whilst Lippy is expecting to be fully packed Thursday night, Grumpy suggests having a number of boxes for throwing the last bits in. This time next week it will be all one and dusted.

Lippy is very excited about the arrival of her new vacuum cleaner and feels very grown up.

Grumpy has a sizable hole in the road outside of his house and ponders whether one of the neighbours is attempting to dig through to the other side of the Earth. After initial panic the hole is now fenced off awaiting repair.

Grumpy has seen the Friday Night Dinner 10th Anniversary Special, which is a mixture of laughter and tears as Paul Ritter, who plays Martin the Dad, passed away earlier this year. Some great interviews with the cast and the writer and well worth watching.

We've had a suspicion that news readers weren't formally dressed below the desk and we now have proof! This triggers a Lippy rant about Loose Women. Sorry.

A house is on the market carpeted in astro turf. Why, we don't know! Apparently astro turf absorbs heat more than natural grass so be careful walking on it.

Grumpy's allotment has become overgrow due to rain, sun and a lack of visiting due to back problems and weather. Much weeding required. Lippy's blueberry plant is doing very well, in fact she's planning more.

Lippy has an evil top tip and Grumpy has a chemical based fact.

We love to hear your experiences, whether one of this week's topic or something completely random. Please send us an email at podcast@lippyandgrumpy.uk or via Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/lippyandgrumpy/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/lippyandgrumpy/)

Lippy's moving boxes colour coding hasn't gone as well as she expected, much to the delight of Grumpy. Will she admit she was wrong though?

We have a follow-up story from our firing bullets into the air piece a few weeks ago, involving a rugby match and a test shot from a nearby flat after gun cleaning.

Grumpy has had a fun weekend at Center Parcs and was very impressed with the accommodation, including the bars of soap. Many adventures were had including fun with a smoke alarm and the devil's trike that was almost impossible to steer reliably. Grumpy was introduced to student drinking games and the phrase "all gong, no dinner".

We both enjoyed the Friends reunion and have yet to see the Friday Night Dinner anniversary special, the last appearance of the late Paul Ritter

Lippy is allegedly packing although only a quarter packed with just over a week to go. Grumpy isn't confident it will completed in time.

Grumpy talks about pizza toppings, however immediately goes off on a tangent with a discussion about outdoor, portable pizza ovens. Lippy and Grumpy are split about pineapple and anchovies on pizzas (not together) and agree that they don't really like the tomato sauce topping, preferring a white sauce.

Somehow we talk about out of date chilli oil and then the use by date on balsamic.

Lippy is attempting to be gluten free, but not very hard, having been swayed by a brioche bun at a barbeque.

Grumpy's Brussel sprout seedlings have been mauled whilst in the conservatory, the cause of which is a mystery.

Lippy has the dullest top tip yet and Grumpy has a car based fun fact. What a surprise.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep33

Grumpy's spent a night in Oxford Jail, fortunately now a hotel and took part in the Mile of Minis the following day, an Italian Job charity event for Buttle UK that raised over £20,000, with 200 modern and classic Minis.

Lippy has had a test drive in an electric Mazda and is very impressed. Interestingly the interior contains cork, which Mazda used to produce.

Grumpy confused his planes last week, the Twotter is used to land at Barra, the very short Westray to Papa Westray flight uses an Islander.

Lippy thinks Wifi and the internet are the same thing so Grumpy explains the difference in probably too much detail.

Lippy has a moving date so there isn't a rant this week (hoorah!), nevertheless frantic packing and coloured tape usage. Apparently Grumpy is helping although doesn't remember offering. He has offered help to rip down ceilings and has found two tools to help put new plasterboard back up.

Lippy's top tip is feeding people helping you move. Grumpy has a rider, including china cups.

WD-40 has pulled a blinder with the container with a flexible hose, Grumpy is a big fan.

Grumpy's top tip is a prank involving very large and heavy shoes.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep32

After last week's WD40 top tip, we've had listener feedback including wishing they heard the tip 2 weeks earlier.

We talked about multi-brained dinosaurs last week and according to the Smithsonian dinosaurs didn't had a "butt brain". Grumpy has been researching the large metal sheet at Dunsfold Aerodrome and hasn't found out much, however knows who to speak to.

Davros is furthering the gnome plan and favours nature vs nature for dealing with seagulls.

After Lippy almost lost last week's show notes, she's decided to phone or message Grumpy with notes instead of using Evernote. Lippy enjoyed the start of The Brits, featuring Zoom Queen Jackie Weaver, who has started a podcast, Jackie Weaver has the authority.

Grumpy has been watching a series called Next, about a rogue AI system and a scene where a fire was started deliberately. The character starting the fire hadn't lit a cigarette in 9 episodes yet had a Zippo lighter to hand. Are all arson scenes started by a Zippo lighter and should Grumpy carry one in case there is a need for a fire.

Lippy heard a very strange advert on the radio for Autotrader, which has also been a TV advert.

Grumpy has been pondering what happens when a gun is shot in the air, what happens if you are under the falling bullet? This led to a late night internet session, which turned up more information, so we're still not sure!

Lippy goes on a rant about her house purchase, which is very close. We are going to struggle to fill the weekly 10 minute rant. If you think this is bad, Grumpy gets a ranting phone call on a daily basis. Roll on move day!

Grumpy has found a 24 hour pizza machine in Rome, which freshly cooks a pizza for 6 Euros. We talk about visiting Rome and Grumpy's digression with Vatican City and a classic Mini.

Lippy has a house moving top tip involving coloured tape, which Grumpy has doubts about. Grumpy has another aviation based fun fact involving a Twotter.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep31

Davros may have solved the gnome shortage we discussed in episode 30 despite having a stereotyped view of gnomes. He's also an expert on two-brained dinosaurs after Lippy's "top" brain comment.

Lippy has a bee in her bonnet about the Champions League final being played in Turkey despite having two English teams playing. Neither of us know very much about football, nor the politics involved, nevertheless we don't think this is a good idea for several reasons.

Gus the seagull has been making the news, having worked out to steal sandwiches from his local Co-Op. Grumpy has a great idea for a product that means you can eat your fish and chips on the beach without having half of it stolen by seagulls.

We talk about how a student in America worked out how to park his Jeep on his college campus for free. Also the Ohio State Senator who, on a Zoom call, tried to disguise the fact he was driving his car at the time. People using Zoom is the gift that keeps giving!

Grumpy marshalled at the Jigsaw Run, which aside from some wayward runners went well. He also found out something interesting about a large sheet of metal at Dunsfold Aerodrome.

The screaming Tomato contacted Grumpy and mentioned the Dunning-Kruger effect, which Grumpy does his best to explain without offending anyone. Part of the effect is that you don't know you are doing it, so both Grumpy & Lippy apologise as they suspect they may be guilty.

Grumpy has read the excellent book Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss several times and Lippy has read half. Well worth a read.

Rant alert! Lippy has had a nightmare with solicitors and her house move, so close and yet so far.

Grumpy has a Top Tip involving WD40 and a Fun Fact on feeding yourself for a year with a first class airline ticket

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep30

Grumpy's really disappointed with the ending of Line of Duty and won't be getting over it any time soon. Lippy is going to watch the first series, which Grumpy thinks is excellent.

Lippy confesses she's not good at estimating the age of children, hence thinking King Josh was 9 and not 4, which is his age.

A Scottish fish & chip shop has deep fried a caterpillar cake. Lippy likes the idea, Grumpy, not so much.

Grumpy's raving about Bent Coppers on BBC, mostly because of the number of now classic cars and nostalgia.

Lippy is taking part in a work rounders tournament and, being a medical institute, has some hilarious team names. Somehow we end up discussing why so many secret agents have the initials JB.

Lippy was confused by her birthday present from The Frozen Camper and thought she had a Beard Dripper.

Due to the Ever Given getting stuck, we have a garden gnome shortage in the UK and there's also a chip shortage for electronics in cars.

We're delighted that one of the protagonist in the infamous Handforth Parish Council meeting has stepped down and shocked that a winner of a awesome car in a raffle wrote it off within 24 hours of collection.

An area we know well is the coastline between Swanage and Studland in Dorset and we're relieved to find that someone fell off the cliffs, dropped 115 feet and survived. Lippy describes (again) the incident in America where she thought there was a bear outside the tent. As she didn't look out of the tent, Grumpy's having none of it and insists it was a hobo doing an impression of a bear to get food.

Lippy's nearly exchanged on her new house and is contemplating packing. Without Grumpy's help.

Grumpy has had the Mazda in pieces and after assembly there are some odd screws left over, hopefully not important.

To finish off we have a Top Golf, Top Tip from Lippy and an historic fact of the week from Grumpy.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep29

It's Lippy's birthday week and don't we know it.

The caterpillar cake battle has hotted up, however it turns out that neither the Aldi nor Marks & Spencer caterpillar cake is the best. Also a Barnsley market trader has launched a Colin the Counterfeiter cake, a snip at £1.99.

The magnolia debate rumbles on, it seems that the tree can have a combination of off-white and pink. The paint colour dates back to an amazing 1888, as found in the Thomaston Express.

Grumpy has had a bit of a nightmare with his postal ballot, he's blaming it on over complicated instructions or is it old age?

There has been an epic Josh fight and the winner was a four year old (not nine as Lippy stated), now known as King Josh.

We have an interruption with a phone call from wife of Grumpy/mother of Lippy.

Davros, who has his birthday close to Lippy's, is impressed with the Aldi cake battle and has some predictions for the last episode of Line of Duty. Grumpy has an issue with use of the handbrake in the j-turn in last week's LOD and is still laughing about the epic line by Ted Hastings. Lippy and Grumpy have theories of when the murderer appears in TV programmes. Lippy has a theory about Line of Duty, but having not watched it and not knowing any of the character names, struggles to explain it.

Our attention turns to Lippy's birthday, who shares her birthday with William Shakespeare and a number of musicians Lippy hasn't heard of. We talk about the birthday paradox, although Lippy doesn't believe it. We managed to squeeze a few more birthday facts, including cake, before finishing off with food related Top Tip and Fun Fact.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep28

We've had feedback from regular listeners, which we really appreciate. Orange Marshall 2 had a long term optician and his 20:20:20 guide. Davros has gone all Bletchley Park with his latest email and agrees with us about talking twaddle at the pub and painting walls yellow but thinks magnolia is not a colour. Somehow he manages to include a comparison with Dr Who, but we can't work out which one.

There's a bit of a discussion about what colour magnolia trees are, more for next week.

Lippy is fascinated by the legal battle between Marks & Spencer and Aldi over caterpillar cakes, in particular the Twitter battle. Is it all over with Aldi donating money to M&S's favourite charity?

During a bit of WhatsApp joshing, we think the Dorking Cat Killer's tally may be higher than we thought.

The photo of the huskies poking their noses through drilled holes in a gate has caught Grumpy's eye, as did the total failure of a green suit to avoid being seen on his fiance's Zoom session.

We've worked out the Dr Who Davros was talking about in his cryptic email. Grumpy can't remember the lockdown series featuring Michael Sheen and David Tennant (it's Staged on the BBC iPlayer), nevertheless it's highly recommended.

Has a pre-season trailer given a clue to last week's cliffhanger ending to Line of Duty?

For some reason, Lippy has named a rogue hair growing on her forehead and had a shout out on Radio 1.

Grumpy's been busy at the allotment, but forgot to take the seeds.

Lippy's Top Tip is for those exercising and Grumpy's fun fact is about bones.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep27

We start by mourning the passing of Price Phillip at the grand age of 99, master of the one-liner.

Grumpy has been researching last week's fun fact about the first speeding ticket in 1896 and has found out about the "Red Flag" Act, that required a person leading the vehicle with a red flag and the origin of number plates in the UK and the current eye watering value of the first number plate issued.

Davros has recommended TV series Callan, which is on at 4am. Grumpy doesn't recognise the series, which is odd as he likes a spy story.

Both Lippy & Grumpy are looking forward to the return of The Apprentice on TV and will be reviewing each train crash episode each week.

Grumpy has found an unusual advert in the Private Eye classified. We think it might be sinister, what do you think?

Much to Lippy's dismay, Grumpy has found another earth core drilling app, similar to a camera obscura. Despite being distracted by an air freshener, Lippy's recollection of all facts digging is quite impressive.

Lippy has lost her glasses, no they aren't on her head, and has been back to the opticians after 6 years. Looking at a picture of the back of her eye has really freaked her out.

With the lifting of restrictions Grumpy and wife of Grumpy have spent an evening in the garden of the Dorking Cat Killer, which highlighted the massive difference between men and women's definition of "any news?"

We've had an email newsletter that suggests that all estate agents are aliens and provided some compelling reasons why. Grumpy is a bit perplexed about how they deliver rental costs, appending the price with a pause and then "per calendar month".

Lippy's house move is forging ahead and they may be in before June. Whilst preparing their current house for valuation (i.e. do the jobs you have been avoiding for some time), boyfriend of Lippy has an incident with superglue, leading to a Lippy Top Top.

Grumpy's fun fact links baseball and the moon landing.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep26

We start by mourning the passing of actor Paul Ritter, best known for the eccentric Dad in Friday Night Dinner. Paul had an amazing ability to take on any role and will be sadly missed.

We've heard from Orange Marshall 2 who was at the film studio when a Branston Smooth advertisement was filmed, just missing out on seeing Kylie Minogue.

Interesting article in the Economist courtesy of the Screaming Tomato about family run businesses in Germany. Unfortunately you have to subscribe to read it.

Davros is not keen on Branston Smooth, enjoys Only Connect and suggests Ex-Lax to cure chocolate addiction.

Grumpy expects that the captain of the Ever Given will be invited to join the South West Shingles Yacht Club, an exclusive invitation only club for sailors who have suffered a maritime disaster of one shape or another. The membership list includes Tony Bullimore and, surprisingly, Ben Ainslie!

Grumpy has discovered the Extreme E race series and is hooked. Is it as entertaining as skier-cross?

Lippy's house move is forging ahead and fingers are crossed by completing before the end of June.

To brush up our improv skills, we try some random topics generated by a website. As expected, the answers are as random as the questions.

We round off with a Lippy Top Tip and a Grumpy Fun Fact.

Find the current week's links at https://linktr.ee/LippyAndGrumpy or https://lippyandgrumpy.uk/ep25

Grumpy has had a freaky internet advert for Farrow & Ball popup after reviewing last week's podcast on speakers.

Also he's found a useful banana skin tip that makes plant food, whilst Davros has a top caper involving dried banana skins. Meanwhile Lippy has found out that a man who died in Tennessee in 1927 had "slipped on banana peeling and fell shortly before death" written on his death certificate.

We're all enjoying the return of "one episode a week" TV or event TV as Davros calls it and in particular Line of Duty on a Sunday night.

The Screaming Tomato has shared the story of the Dassler brothers, who fell out after working together for 30 years and created two massive sports equipment companies, based in the same town, splitting the work force and pubs.

Opinion is split on the suggestion that over 70s should be restricted in when and how far they drive.

We feel sorry for the sellers of a house in Haywards Heath whose Google Street View images has two armed Police officers outside. Lippy's house move has jumped ahead quickly with fingers crossed for a moving date before the end of June.

The holding your breath underwater record has been beaten and now stands at an amazing 24 minutes 33 seconds. Grumpy has a desire to appear in the Guinness Book of Records, however not for holding his breath.

Grumpy is hoping the Lippy can sew up his pyjama bottoms that now have an unusual cooling vent.

We discuss Easter and Lippy confesses she has no self control and will consume chocolate on sight of it and is incapable of waiting until Easter Sunday. We're not 100% sure of the connection with eggs although we have our individual theories. Quite how the leap to chocolate rabbits was made is beyond our comprehension.

Somehow we get onto things we should know but don't and game shows where you don't stand a chance of joining in, plus the Grumpy Law of Game Shows, which states that the harder the questions are, the more rubbish the prize is.

Lippy has a Easter chocolate related tip and Grumpy's fun fact concerns something more dangerous than a shark.

We start with the exciting news that Lippy has had an offer accepted on a house and is currently looking at paint colour and furniture. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster, however the garden has astro turf, which ticks one very large "don't want to do gardening" box.

Lippy's spring equinox egg balancing experiment at 09:37 on Saturday 20th didn't go well, however, Davros suggests trying it on the autumn equinox and Grumpy thinks the solstice might be the best time to try.

Grumpy laments the passing of Chris Barber, jazz trombonist extraordinaire, racing driver and Top Gear presenter Sabine Schmitz and ex-Formula 1 driver Johnny Dumfries.

We're also thinking of those affected by the flooding in Australia.

We've had a smoke alarm story from Mr T, including a screaming child in a car, not listening to Mrs T, house alarm DIY and a worn out battery.

Grumpy is interested to find out about a app called Zoom Escaper that makes your connection to a meeting so unbearable that you don't get invited to a meeting ever again.

Wife of Grumpy has been sending round a video of a laughing duck, which has caused much merriment!

Lippy wonders whether sending flowers is a bit morbid as they are dying. Mind you she confesses that she's not very good at removing them once they are dead. Somehow we get onto the subject of banana skins and Grumpy doesn't believe that anyone has ever slipped on a banana skin. Grumpy has bought some borage seeds for the allotment to help protect the strawberries and was surprised to find the instructions were in Chinese.

Grumpy has some information about short passwords and the speed at which they can be cracked in a brute false attack. Don't glaze over, there's some useful information here.

Lippy has a post lockdown top tip and Grumpy has a country shrinking fun fact.

We start with a tribute to Murray Walker, a hero of Grumpy's who passed away at the age of 97. Murray had two carers and is best known for motorsport commentating during the 70s, 80s and 90s.

We talk about the word stopwatch, which featured in one of the Murrayisms over the weekend.

Davros shares his experience of a fig plant growing in a pot, with monster-sized and invasive roots. Grumpy is looking forward to a bumper fig harvest in a few years, Lippy is demanding fig roll biscuits.

Orange marshal 2 had injured his foot in an incident involving gravity and stairs and we wish him well.

Did you know Harrods has its own fire brigade and water supply? Nor did we, and we thank the Screaming Tomato for sharing this.

Mrs Dowie from Ormesby Primary Academy has been knitting Shrek hats for year 6 and they are awesome! Great work Mrs Dowie.

Lippy has been reading up about the spring equinox and despite stumbling over several hard to pronounce words has a number of interesting facts to share. One of those facts is the ability to balance an egg on its bottom. We'll be trying that at 9:37 on Saturday 20th March, just before Grumpy's covid jab. Lippy is taken by the Romans having a god of wine. Grumpy has always been interested in the stars and is fascinated by the ancient monuments and civilizations built around the stars and constellations.

An enthusiastic International Space Station watcher, Grumpy talks about seeing a Starlink launch and satellite deployment.

You might start to hear some chirping, it's a smoke detector and more on that later.

Grumpy starts a conversation about waving at other drivers in similar vehicles, Lippy's not convinced, however, she does drive an Audi.

The chirping gets too much for Grumpy and he tracks down the errant smoke detector, mid-recording, which triggers a major digression, including the tale of the smoke alarm that wouldn't shut up.

Do you have a waving at other drivers story? If so we want to hear it! podcast@lippyandgrumpy.uk

Lippy has a Lippy-brain top tip for birthday present suggestions and Grumpy's fun fact involves Icelandic elves.

We've had some feedback about the role of the fire marshals in offices, and we'll still not sure whether a fire marshal should be first or last out of a building. After last week's handbrake story, a listener has pointed out that there isn't a railway line running through Forestdale. Opps!

Grumpy has managed to turn up at the dentist at the correct time for root canal work, however the dentist couldn't find the root. Lippy admits she hasn't been to the dentist in many years - not a good idea. After Grumpy talking about growing teeth, Lippy has a story about a tooth growing in a very odd place on the body.

Lippy has had a trying week with house hunting, and estate agents in particular, to the point of tears. Grumpy remembers when the whole family broke into an estate agent's office by mistake.

Grumpy has a map showing each country's main export and both are surprised and a little worried about how many countries rely on oil based exports.

Much to Lippy's dismay, Grumpy waffles on about the changes to car badges over the last few months, the new electric Audi and his desire for an old Fiat Panda 4x4.

Grumpy spent the weekend at the allotment moving rhubarb, that hopefully Lippy won't find, and attempting repair the electric windows on an MX5, the latter resulted in a shower of small metal parts.

Lippy has a top tip to get the measure of someone and Grumpy has an M&M based fun fact.

A listener has a twisting tale of how he buried the same cat twice. If you have a funny story to share please send it in.

Grumpy has found a website with an app that shows you where you would come out if you dug straight down through the centre of the earth. Lippy complains that it's another digging piece, nevertheless thinks the app is pretty cool.

We have listener feedback about travelling in aircraft and it seems poorly behaved children are a bit of a nuisance. We ponder whether there is a flight length sweet spot for picking the back seat.

We decide "you should have bought Bitcoin in August" is the most irritating financial advice you can receive and have confirmation that real world resuscitation is a lot harder physically that pressing keys on the computer keyboard. Somehow we get onto the topic of fire marshals and there's some confusion about what they do when there's a fire.

Lippy has been carrying out research on TikTok and has found out that Canada and Denmark have been at war since 1984 over Hans Island. Grumpy has a warning about very convincing deep fakes appearing on TikTok and other video platforms.

A friend of Grumpy has passed on Radio Garden, an amazing website that means you can tune into many radio stations across the world from your computer.

Zoom keep providing humour, this week it's an 8 year old girl who has been baffling adults with a logon problem. She'll go far that one!

Lippy has discovered velvet worms, that look cute, nevertheless fires slime to capture food.

Lippy's car has passed it MOT, albeit with a slightly stuck handbrake, which reminds Grumpy of a handbrake and steep driveway incident that happened to a friend of his. Lippy has found Foxy Choice, which identifies female friendly garages.

Grumpy was saddened by the passing of Finish rally legend Hannu Mikkola last week, a true talent in the Ford Escort in the 1970s and a name synonymous with the success of the Audi Quattro of the 1980s.

Lippy has a not so top tip that nobody should follow and Grumpy's fun fact doesn't involve digging. Hoorah!

Once again Lippy & Grumpy look at stories that will make you smile or that they can put their unique spin on.

Grumpy want to talk about drilling through the earth again and has found an animation of how far humans have bored into the earth and how far we have to go before Davros can use this as a gravity engine for his 2150 invasion. Mind you his packed lunch consists of dry Weetabix, butter, Marmite and cheese, so there's no danger.

Lippy has dipped her toe in Bitcoin and it's not gone well. Will Bitcoin ever be a full blown currency?

Grumpy's friend completed an online cardiopulmonary resuscitation exam with hilarious consequences and a certificate of questionable use.

Wife of Grumpy has cut Grumpy's hair and there was some confusion over the hair length for number 1 and number 3. It's a hair cut for Zoom and Lippy is merciless about the current state of the back of Grumpy's head. Have you had a lockdown haircut disaster? If so please let us know at podcast@lippyandgrumpy.uk

The Boeing 777 incident over Denver fills Grumpy with equal amounts of fear and interest and we're both relieved that nobody was hurt. With many planes parked up at the moment, will they have flat batteries and stale fuel when they are needed again.

Lippy has been watching the Shrek films and declares them as the best films ever made, which has nothing to do with similarities with Lippy and the Donkey character.

Lippy, Grumpy and the rest of the family had a superb lunch at a prison a few years ago, organised by a charity called Clink, cooked and served by an inmate. Clink is opening up in 79 prisons and is highly recommended.

In a surprise move, a contestant on Iceland's University Challenge has a hissy fit and starts demolishing the set. University Challenge will never be the same.

The Frozen Camper was in a Zoom meeting where an Alexa alarm was set for the early hours of the morning whilst a colleague was out of the room. Please don't try this at home.

The latest Mars rover has landed successfully and the conspiracy theorists have started, claiming it's actually filming part of Canada.

Having read a nice article about the author missing the pub and saying why, Grumpy is dismayed by the comments and is committing to "Never Read the Comments" for a happier life. Lippy talks about when internet combatants meet and they are a lot braver behind a screen.

Grump waxes lyrical about the recently launched Boom Radio, which has gap in the radio market for the baby boomers, hence the name. He's also tickled by the recent Quadrosenior marketing campaign by Essential Aids.

Is the best seat on a plane in the row at the very back of the plane? There are pros and cons, however Lippy has a top tip in advance about blagging a better seat once the plane has taken.

Lippy has a second top tip, it's from the Lippy mind so Grumpy is braced for another fork incident, however it's very good! Grumpy's fun fact, once again descends in chaos.

Grumpy apologises for some odd noises and over enthusiastic editing due, in part, to Lippy's audio track being so much louder.

Last week's frankly ridiculous fact of the week from Grumpy makes a comeback with some very complicated maths that neither Lippy nor Grumpy understand. Seems that attempting to jump through the middle of the earth is fraught with problems.

Lippy's claim that having a fresh hair cut can attract the attention of the police can't be sourced, however the Met Police have been caught up in a hair cut "scandal".

Grumpy manages to squeeze in a piece about 1990's concept cars much to Lippy dismay.

Grumpy has come up with the concept of Leerdammer Roulette, where the cheese to hole ratio remains a mystery until the packet is open. He finds out that the slice thickness is determined by the cheese:hole ratio so nobody loses out - how clever! This inspires Lippy & Grumpy to attempt to blag a tour of the factory.

We discuss the amazing interpretation of James Fridman when people ask him to Photoshop their photographs. Pure genius. Lippy is keen to outwit him by over explaining the changes desired.

Lippy's had an incident giving blood (again) whilst wearing inappropriate trousers. The discussion turns to the after donation snacks and Lippy admits to multiple trips to the snack table gaining the title Blood Bank Biscuit Snatcher.

A friend of Grumpy (yes, he does have them) sent him a clip of Maxence Muzaton recovering from stumbling at the 2021 Alpine Skiing World Championships. Maxence makes an amazing recovery, well worth watching even if skiing isn't your bag.

Weetabix executed an amazingly effective piece of marketing suggesting that you could eat Weetabix with baked beans. Grumpy is keen to try, however, is not keen on dry Weetabix. Lippy on the other hand dislikes soggy Weetabix and world prefer diesel to warm milk.

Davros has suggested that proving whether a dead cat bounces should be taken up by Mythbusters and somehow we discuss people complaining about TV shows.

We have a Gorilla Glue in the hair update, it appears the lady concerned has had the glue removed by a generous plastic surgeon and has donated the surplus money raised, around $20,000, to charity. A good result all round.

Zoom is the gift that keeps giving and this week we have a lawyer in the US that was stuck looking like a cat during a meeting with a judge.

Grumpy has spent some time at the allotment spreading compost despite the frozen ground.

Lippy has a top tip and Grumpy has a fun fact that isn't controversial.

Both Lippy & Grumpy struggle with getting connected, with a combination of equipment failure (Grumpy) and user error (Lippy). Grumpy's prediction that Bernie Sander's mittens was the funniest thing of 2021 has been surpassed by a recording of a Handforth Parish Council planning meeting conducted over Zoom, which is funny and worrying at the same time. There are some similarities to an "The Office" style Australian documentary called Rats in the Ranks, filmed in 1994.

We had a bit of a mistake ridden episode last week, Lippy was confused about days and time, Grumpy about whether Mombasa is a country or city and forgot to say thanks to a friend for some lovely feedback.

Grumpy congratulates himself on some epic editing and can now remove pauses, sniffs and heavy breathing.

Orange marshal 2 is, understandably, disappointed with not being able to order black pudding sausage rolls from the local butchers. Lippy's answer is to work from the butchers, although doubt is cast on whether they have wi-fi.

A massive missive from Davros this week and he suggests that Lippy should try cooking the Irn Bru haggis dish, which leads down a rabbit hole of, all thinks, pickles and the translation of cornichon. Quite rightly Davros points out that it's gone all quiet on the merch front. This is due to struggling to find a UK print on demand company and the difficulty of agreeing on design when we're not in the same room. He's quite keen for a branded dog whistle, among a number of unusual merch suggestions.

Thanks to screaming tomato, a Lippyisms web page is on it's way!

If you are enjoying this podcast please leave a review, let other people know or let us know. Also if you have suggestions for topics, let us know.

Lippy has wrestled with a broken washing machine and managed to get it to the dump with a very minor injury.

Lippy attempts a dead cat strategy ahead of time and relays a lack of handbrake incident at the recycling centre. Top delivery by ao.com and a successful installation by Lippy and boyfriend of Lippy.

Grumpy's a bit shocked that a lady who used Gorilla Glue on her hair is contemplating suing Gorilla Glue because it didn't explicitly state not for use on hair. Grumpy then goes on a rant about health and safety and blame culture and confesses to a few incidents with superglue.

No work on the allotment, however some work on a new upcycled lamp.

Lippy seems to think you can be questioned by the police if you have a fresh haircut.

Lippy & Grumpy talk about some dead cat phrases including a friend known in her family as the Dorking Cat Killer. Grumpy explains the concept of the dead cat strategy, used in politics, business meetings and prosecutions. The best examples are normally demonstrated by children. We get perilously close to politics and manage to pull away from the brink.

Next up is the dead cat bounce, a phrase used by Wall Street to describe the action of a plummeting share. Lippy questions whether a dead cat would bounce and comes up with a experiment to test the theory. Off on a tangent, Grumpy explains a slow motion video he saw showing the deflection of a cymbal when hit with a drum stick and claims that validates the dead cat bounce analogy.

Lippy has a top tip and Grumpy not 100% in agreement. Grumpy's top tip involves some math and suspension of physics and, on reflection, is utter nonsense.

Despite not being a car podcast, Grumpy waxes lyrical about the batteries and the price of the forthcoming Renault EV or roadman as Lippy calls it.

Davros suggests a tennis ball in the bird bath to stop it freezing up and now avoids cider at music festivals. Grumpy is reminded of his 1999 Le Mans trip a sunburnt individual and a pile of lager bottle, albeit neat.

Orange marshal 1 has had an appointment mishap, turning up at the cinema a day early (and didn't have to go home). Grumpy has seen something similar on a train and Lippy had just seen a mega-tantrum at the blood bank.

Screaming Tomato suggests collecting Lippyisms, Grumpy has a list from when the kids were quite young. Grumpy reveals that Lippy has an unusual view on serving haggis on Burn's Night.

Grumpy has a rant about the word influencer, he doesn't the word although there's no real basis for this and is it any different from sports sponsorship. A Guardian article didn't help.

And then he goes onto the phrase "calm down", has that every worked? Is it like putting a fire out with petrol? Lippy suggests "cheer up" is in the same league. Grumpy agrees. Some discussion, slightly confused, ensues about the "Keep Calm and ..." messages.

Grumpy gets very excited about concept cars from the 1960's. Lippy glazes over.

Irresistible is one of the best films Grumpy has seen in a long while, highly recommended by Grumpy and Mark Kermode, nevertheless not so from Rotten Tomatoes.

Private Eye has a lockdown film suggestion called Die Hard 94, where John McClane, wearing a shirt and shoes for a change, tries to avoid being spotted not wearing a mask , which has tickled Grumpy.

Lippy has had fraught few days, having been vaccinated last week, had trouble at the blood bank only after drinking the unpleasant blood thinner. Then the washing machine decided to turn the kitchen into a swimming pool.

A rambling discussion about garages and whether cars go in them anymore. We talk about Grumpy's Dad pulling and pushing his car out and in of the garage, parking spaces in new builds, modern cars putting on weight, turning garages into rooms and escaped hamster.

We have a Lippy Top Tip and Grumpy Fun Fact.

Grumpy finally has his bamboo underpants and has spotted the subtlety in Davros naming one of his Alexas Zen. RSPB's Big Garden Birdwatch this weekend 29 to 31st January. Where have the sparrows been?

Davros reminisces over fun with a Renault 5 Turbo's cooling fan and Grumpy contemplates vegan black pudding.

The man with a foot injury is surprised when his dog started limping and more surprised at the diagnosis. Grumpy reveals 3 year old Lippy's antics at the x-ray unit.

Lippy & Grumpy agree that the Bernie Sanders mittens picture photobombing other pictures is probably the funniest thing this year.

Grumpy waxes lyrical over the new Lada Niva and hopes to see one in the UK and confesses to a senior moment during the week.

Lippy, Grumpy & DJ Fin talk about music festivals. Lippy attempts to describe a valley without using the word valley. We discuss many aspects of the music festival, in all shapes and sizes and we all hope they will be back in 2021. DJ Fin is clearly missing the unique smell you get at festivals!

It turns out adding a review for a podcast is trickier than we thought, however we're on the case and you can leave a review at lippyandgrumpy.uk/review. Lippy is hoping for a similar deal with Spotify as Harry & Megan.

We've had a complimentary email from one of Grumpy's fellow Lions. Grumpy claims that the unscripted, scripted sound for the podcast is down to his editing skills.

Davros has been experimenting with weighing himself and attempting to have two Alexas talk to one another. Grumpy has another attempt at annoying Alexa owners.

We have a chuckle at the Joe Wicks incident from last week, at our great age we still find that funny.

Grumpy has trouble getting his hands on the bamboo underpants he ordered, they are stuck at the sorting office.

Lippy & Grumpy merch is on its way, hopefully mugs and t shirts, although Lippy is in charge after beer mat confusion on Grumpy's part.

Grumpy waxes lyrical about the Lupin series on Netflix and about the forthcoming Renault electric vehicle, which looks similar to the awesome Renault 5 Turbo from the 1980's. Lippy explains what a roadman is, Grumpy has never heard the term before.

Allotment news, the stored cardboard has been deployed! Lippy's weight loss has slowed down and she's been tormenting herself by watching food videos.

All about vegan food with DJ Fin, there was so much to discuss we couldn't fit music festivals in this weeks. Grumpy fails to pronounce veganuary correctly and Fin explains why he and others choose to eat a vegan diet. For Fin he feels better and enjoys cooking vegan.

Fin covers cooking vegan meals, including impressing meat eaters, with favourite recipes from Gaz Oakley. Grumpy relates his experience with some vegetarian dishes in the dim and distant past.

We discuss "fake" meat, particularly vegan bacon, how you produce it at home and why it is produced. It's not all salads, Fin likes hearty food and his vegan cooking provides this.

Both Grumpy and Lippy agree that they couldn't give up cheese without a big fight and Grumpy's trial of vegan better didn't end well.

Fin explains how vegan wine and beer is different, although inconsistent labelling makes it's hard to identify these vegan products in the supermarket.

Fin's favourite dish is a vegan burger, with many specialist take away restaurant close to his home in East London, with a home made vegan chilli a close second.

We discuss vitamins and other nutrients and Grumpy hopes he got away with forgetting what the beneficial nutrient in oily fish was.

We will return in 12 months, hopefully having had a vegan BBQ on a camping trip with Fin.

Fin has an Instagram feed Fin_Eats_Plants and will be back in the next episode talking about music festivals.

Our first episode on SquadCast, better quality sound and hopefully easier to edit. Lippy may have a rogue Alexa alarm after last week and a top tip for annoying neighbours.

There's a better tip for converting a fork to a spoon. Davros happy with the old Kindle and the Jethro Tull suggestion, not so happy with Dr Who writers and confused by 360 degree camera stands.

Grumpy goes on a rant over an overused and spent phrase and Lippy throws in another.

Grumpy has been fiddling with some discarded garage equipment with the intention of up-cycling to a trendy lamp and looking at large, expensive MIG welders.

Lippy's diet is going well although there is some controversy about the time of day the weigh-in takes place.

Lippy & Grumpy discuss working from home as Lippy's new job is working from home four days a week even without covid. Grump's worked at home on and off for over 20 years and is very grateful for the dedicated space he has. The discussion gets quite serious, with talk of sprints and Deep Work by Carl Newport.

Grumpy reveals he finds videos meeting difficult, particularly with more than four participants, and struggles to work out who is speaking. Both agree that is a good technology and has enabled the Lions club Grumpy is a member of to carry on, even with a 90 year old member.

Lippy's looking forward to getting back to one day in the office, mostly for socialising. We then get into dressing for working from home and, unsurprisingly, pyjamas feature quite highly and Lippy has a confession about showering intervals.

Lippy & Grumpy both love a conspiracy theory. Grumpy admits to hearing some and has to stop and think. A discussion about the moon landings ensues and there's a revelation about Russian scientists disappearing from 1960's photographs.

Grumpy recommends Escaping the Rabbit Hole by Mick West, written by a former conspiracy theorist and explains how the mind work and how to get a theorist out of a rabbit hole. Lippy has a go at explaining theorists with noises rather than words and Grumpy laments the trend of dismissing an entire view based on a small mistake or factor.

We talk about how fake moon landing could have been kept quiet for more than 50 years given the number of people involved and the race with Russia at the time.

Grumpy reminisces about the Channel 4 programme Space Cadets in December 2005, that tricked contestants into thinking they were taking part in a low earth orbit space experiment. We both agree that the trend of labelling people as consistency theorists simple because they have another view is wrong.

A mini-rant ensues about WhatsApp and other hoaxes that circulate with only a handful of people checking. Phising attacks, where a message has embedded links must be taken seriously.

Lippy has a top tip about music and dancing that Grumpy fully approves with and Grumpy's fact is why is Chicago know as "the windy city". It's not why you think!

A post Christmas haze caused a mix up with the upload on the last episode, sorry!

Davros back online thanks to the helpful people at Netgear. We've made a substitution to the Davros Christmas playlist on Spotify.

Grumpy spots a movie moment where a What 3 Words location doesn't sound quite right and Lippy is on a diet that includes a fair amount of chocolate. With time on his hands, Grumpy has bought quite a lot of scrap metal from eBay, more recycled lamps and scrap art on the way.

We look at eReaders and discuss whether old Kindles are better than new and whether a full eReader weighs more than an empty one. This confuses Lippy to the point where she gets confused about the weight of chicken. After discussing whether books are better than eReaders, Lippy get confused about where you buy books and then wonders whether you could turn pages over using Alexa.

Lippy & Grumpy both agree that buying houses is very stressful and generally unpleasant. Lippy's back on the house buying conveyor with a mixture of excitement and dread.

Grumpy reels off some facts and figures about house buying and realises he couldn't affords the house he bought 24 years ago and reveals that a covenant on the land means he can't hold a carnival in the garden, which begs the question "what constitutes a carnival"

Lippy has a ridiculous top tip, where she would be better off using a splayd.

Grumpy's fact is about Easter Island, is amazing and doesn't involve Sellotape.

Opps! Uploaded the introduction only, this is the full episode, sorry all!

Grumpy apologies for a Die Hard timing mishap and declares 2020 as The Year of the Pyjama.

Lippy says 2020 was an excuse for all sorts of activity and Grumpy is distressed at the age of "if you don't agree, you are an idiot" mindset.

Moving to happier topics, we discuss the life of Chuck Yeager, awesome test pilot who dies at the age of 97. Grumpy bought annual travel insurance for the first time this year, and confesses to loving the smell and sound of MIG welding having completed a course at WTF Workshops.

We both agree the long hot summer of 2020 was superb, with Lippy making the most of it. Grumpy's top discover for the year was the Imperial Leather soap label.

Lippy & Grumpy agree not to set New Year resolutions and are shocked to see Easter Eggs in the shops. There's a long discussion about why the date of Easter moves and we work out how to work the date out.

In wishing our listeners Happy New Year we stumble into Dave Allen and David Beckham. Only on a Lippy & Grumpy podcast!

In the words of Richard Osman
"A tough few days at the end of a tough year. Christmas was a ray of hope for so many, a reward for so much sacrifice. Our time will come soon, so stay strong for each other"

So many people have given and lost so much this year and we're grateful to you all from front line medical staff to people working and keeping the economy limping along.

We are all hoping for a better 2021 when we can meet when and where we decide.

Lippy & Grumpy wish you a peaceful day, the best that your personal circumstances allow.

We'll be back on New Year's Day with a round up of the year, that doesn't include COVID, politics or bad language.

Could be quite a short one!

Merry Christmas x

Lippy has started her new job and it's going well. Grumpy has a What 3 Words disagreement with an ex-colleague and yay or nay on electronic Monopoly.

Grumpy admits to having a chaotic CD collection and whilst he owns a copy of the very first Now That's What I Call Music on cassette, hankers after a 8 track cartridge version.

We've found a photograph where Monopoly is being played on a roller coaster - how is that possible?

Meanwhile Davros has been in touch with his Christmas playlist, Lippy has finally watched Die Hard and someone has suggested it is a Harry Potter film.

We've discovered that a sheep's cough is very strange and the phantom alarm clock has returned.

With Christmas Day one week away, we have some top tips for a stress free Christmas, Lippy & Grumpy style, including: cooking turkeys, sprouts, with a bit of help from Simon Rimmer

Plus wrapping paper, de-cluttering, igloo building, don't give Santa cheap brandy, bacon rolls at midnight and flaming Christmas pudding

We've had feed back form several listeners this week, including, as ever, Davros. Christmas films peaked interest and we've found definitive proof that Die Hard is a Christmas film, and come to the conclusion that Home Alone isn't.

In the ramble through the week's events we discuss another 747 making it's final flight to Dunsfold Park, how to help others by twinning your toilet and Lippy has a bone to pick with a Christmas card.

Grumpy has had 40 years worth of job interview stories including the job with no interview and the one with the Underground Station. Lippy has had a few odd interviews too and we've both have had interviews for jobs they are extremely under qualified for. Astonishingly Lippy and Grumpy have conducted interviews and find them more terrifying than being interviewed.

Then it's onto Monopoly a game that divides family and friends, particularly at this time of year. We have some top winning tips for you, including a board heat map and aiming to spend time in jail, plus the most likely cause for arguments. Avoid some of these by reading the rules!

An apology about last week's editing, less about Radio 1, more about Autotune, sandwich feedback from listeners, including bizarre combos and a second Orange Marshal joins the fray, weighing in with black pudding preferences.

We talk extensively about the Formula 1 accident in Bahrain, although it's several minutes before we mention the words Formula 1, so you may be confused about what we're talking about! Grumpy talks about how much exposure events such as accidents should get, relating to live and televised motorsport incidents that occurred before social media.

Our first main topic is The Disappointment of Cooking, where the end result looks nothing like the picture in the recipe book and how the words "leave to cool" strike terror in the middle of a kitchen nightmare.

Then there is Christmas films, which Lippy have been binge watching whilst waiting for a start date for her new job. Grumpy has a surprise confession and we discuss whether Die Hard is a Christmas film, although Lippy has never seen it, and the drive in cinema at Dunsfold Park coming in December.

We finish off with a top tip from Lippy and an astonishing (if true) fact from Grumpy.

We had a bit of a recording problem early on, so there may be a few odd bits of editing, sorry!

Davros' emailed comment about Radio 1 caused a bit of a Lippy rant, and his love of Wright's Coal Tar Soap brought appreciation from Grumpy and a puzzled look from Lippy.

Grumpy admits to liking the teardrop caravan and a listener relives his caravan calamity. There's not much news from Lippy & Grumpy this week, nevertheless they ramble on and come up with top tips for driving in snow.

We turn our attention to a the best sandwich and discover that both Lippy and Grumpy like a 99p supermarket special, and with what filling? Lippy talks about Costa's Friends inspired Christmas sandwich and there is a very long discussion about sandwich shapes. We find an amazing sandwich website and conclude that all sandwiches should include one filling. No prizes for guessing what that is.

In discussing Christmas cards Grumpy makes an expected confession and Lippy explains why her friends and family won't be receiving Christmas cards from here and it's not because she doesn't want to send them.

We have a slightly unusual Top Tip from Lippy and a out of this world Grumpy fact.

There was a bit of a mix up between IIS and ISS in last week's episode tags, which Grumpy apologises for and Lippy fails to notice. We discuss whether the drumming was to loud and sudden last week and Grumpy has a black pudding related shock in a team meeting.

There's another long eloquent email from Davros. the voice of Skaros, when he points out a Norse/Greek god mix up and goes on to say many things we can't broadcast. Somewhat dismissive of bamboo clothing he suggests a trip to the zoo. Lippy has the panda picture from a bamboo product, which we agree seems a bit cruel.

We tried Marks & Spencer's Santa's Yumnuts and they are very good! Sadly the Jigsaw 10k Run has been postponed until 28 February 2021 and Lippy can't make it.

Grumpy has discovered why Imperial Leather soap has a label and Lippy is convinced that nobody buys bars of soap any more. A discussion ensues and Grumpy points out that a recently installed shower comes with a soap tray.

Next for discussion is the Doobie Brothers, a band formed in 1970 and the origin of their name.

We have our first guest! The Joy of Camping is an extended feature with The Frozen Camper where we amble through over 15 years of camping at Acton Field Campsite near Swanage in Dorset.

The Frozen Camper, so called because she looks cold almost all of the time, reveals her love of washing up, of all things. The temporary lifting of the "no number two" rule is the camper van is discussed before moving on to the climbing tree and slight confusion for Lippy about the rules of 40-40. The concept of Swanage Burn is mentioned, an affliction that only the Frozen Camper suffers from and only on the first day of sunshine.

Epic walks along the Dorset coast to the Square & Compass pub via the misnamed spiky monument bring back happy memories as does French mobile phone reception in the Square & Compass garden.

We reminisce about Swanage Regatta Week and an unexpected end to a swimming competition and then on to the camp breakfast, prepared in a massive paella pan

Annual shopping of bikini and board shorts leads to a Grumpy rant about flip-flops, the theft of the wee bucket and whether you can brine a chicken (the topics are related, honest!).

The Frozen Camper talks about the hot topic of showers and with 20p buying 3 minutes of showering, how many 20ps do you need? Somehow we discover Lippy is using Joey Tribbiani as some form of moral compass. Very odd.

Camping means board games, card games and practical jokes. Lippy claims to be a card shark and the Frozen Camper walks us through a number of practical jokes involving toothpaste, Oreos, a bin liner and aftershave, although not all at the same time.

The Frozen Camper points out that set up can make Grumpy grumpy, which is true and then she tries to explain how to get half of Millets into a small car. There are two schools of thought for packing up and we talk about the Load it Like Biff approach, where you simply stuff it all in the back of the car and sort it out when you get home.

Grumpy, predictably, states that campervans are better than caravans and surprises Lippy by liking trailer tents.

We finish by hoping 2021 brings us more camping trips than this year. Once it's warm.

Lippy makes an important announcement, accompanied by a drum roll from Grumpy, his first public performance. We've has an email for a listener we've nicknamed "Davros" who goes through his perfect cooked breakfast, tossing out the beans and adding haggis. Whilst entertaining the suggestion that scrambled eggs should be stirred only in one direction, Grumpy reveals affection for a particular spatula.

We talk about Marks & Spencer's new Christmas treat, congratulate a family member on qualifying as an Equine Sports Masseur, more Gordon Murray news, mention Grumpy's drum teacher's band's new album and Grumpy make a startling revelation whilst waxing lyrical about Shazam. There is also news from the allotment and the sewing room, rounding off with a discussion about all things bamboo, including underpants.

The origin of why Friday 13th is unlucky proves hard to pin down, however if you are inviting 12 people to dinner make sure a 13th doesn't appear. Lippy reveals that Italian composer Rossini was superstitious about Friday 13th and as it turns out right to be as he died 152 years today (13 November 2020). The fear of Friday the 13th is known as paraskevidekatriaphobia, which neither Lippy nor Grumpy was brave enough to attempt to pronounce.

It turns out that Lippy's least favourite Christmas song is Grumpy's favourite, actually the only one he likes apart from classical carols. Undeterred we venture through a 1968 recording from Winchester Cathedral through to Slade's Christmas anthem and the Slade are for life, not just Christmas Facebook page. We realise with horror that we can't remember any other Slade records. Gulp! Lastly there's the news that the IIS will be passing the UK on Christmas day at 0650.

Following on from last week, Lippy is turned down for the job, nevertheless has another interview this week. We toy with the idea of a jingle and chat about the Halloween trail and Lippy's bowl of sweets, and Grumpy has another interesting Google Maps route.

Grumpy has found Festevil, a safari park drive though for those that like to be terrified and the shame flute, used to punish bad musicians in the Middle ages and Lippy has been listening to medieval renditions of contemporary music on Radio 1. Impressed with this news, Grumpy admits to liking a bit of Gregorian Chant, particularly on days when the grump-o-meter is pushing into the red.

The last lot of beans have been harvested from the Grumpy allotment and the Lippy sewing room has had a bit of a tidy up and organisation. Grumpy managed to get the last haircut appointment in the village before lockdown 2.

The components of a full English breakfast is a hot topic and surprising, with the exception of black pudding and the length of time to cook scrambled eggs, Lippy & Grumpy are in agreement. There is a bit of discussion about the nutritional value of black pudding and Grumpy announces that the best food he has ever tasted was a scotch egg cooked with black pudding. Baked beans are put under the microscope, with Lippy happy to swap beans for an additional sausage. Grumpy swears by James May's method of cooking baked beans and then rambles on about his Dad's fried bread, the Fry Up Police Facebook page and the Mega Breakfast Challenge at the Woodbridge Cafe in Guildford.

On to post-it notes and there is a lot of love for the paper and digital flavours, in fact Lippy describes digital post-it notes as "the best thing ever", after Aldi, of course, and used them a lot when she was a wedding organiser. Grumpy thinks if you like a list, you should use lists for everything, freeing the brain to think up the sort of nonsense we talk about every week on this podcast and highly recommends Microsoft To Do.

A short discussion about whether paper post-it notes are recyclable (we don't know) and Grumpy reveals a top tip for separating post-it notes.

Out final discussion is cats, do they have owners or staff? Somehow we managed to talk about intolerance to avocados and why you shouldn't put very ripe pears in the juicer.

Back to the topic in hand, after a brief discussion about the Grumpy household's ageing cat, Lippy explains why cats meow, cat defence training and why they bring in their prey.

Our podcast for the week is Fake Doctors, Real Friends by Zach Braff and Donald Faison where they discuss the TV show Scrubs offering an insight into the production of the show.

Following on from last week, we have an update on eating mince pies before December (Grumpy was right) and a listener contacts us with experience of Marmite and Peanut Butter (it wasn't good) and provides a cracking Jurassic Park quote (no, it wasn't Alan Partridge).

Lippy has a job interview at last, nevertheless is more excited about the opening of the nearby Aldi and how well the products are lined up on the shelves and leaves with bread, milk and a new sewing machine. See our new Instagram feed (https://www.instagram.com/lippyandgrumpy/) for pictures of the store's opening.

Meanwhile, Grumpy finds out that it's best not to hold you hand out to appease a growling dog, gets hit on the head by a tree and misses a British Airways 747 landing at Dunsfold Park.

Lippy talks about the history of Halloween and in originating from when the 1st November was the start of the year. Grumpy can't work out how this leads to the concept of trick or treat and explains why it's not worth knocking on the Grumpy household on the 31st October if he's the only one in.

Things have been falling from the sky, including large acorns, pigeons and golf balls. All of which have nothing to do with Joey Tribbiani, yet somehow we make the connection.

Our attention turns to Google Maps and the chaos it can cause, highlighted by a longer than expected trip by a member of the Grumpy household.

Finally Grumpy recommends one of his favourite podcasts, Collecting Cars Podcast hosted by Top Gear's Chris Harris. Chris has interviewed some amazing legends in the automotive world, including Gordon Murray (who Grumpy once nearly mowed down in a car park) and Nicky Grist, co-driver to many rally drivers including Colin McRae and Juha Kankkunen.

Lippy attempts to explain all female impregnation, Grumpy has a bit of a rant about reply all emails and opinion is divided about whether mince pies should be consumed before December.

Following the inaugural episode last week, both Lippy & Grumpy are stunned to see the download figure, confusion about wife of Grumpy is cleared up, as is the display used in a display pregnancy tester. A major mistake in the editing of the end of last week's episode suggests that those who said they listened to the end may not have actually done that, or were too polite to point out the glaring error. Meanwhile Grumpy has been sacked from editing and Lippy is taking over.

All this, plus driving licence holograms, netball and a podcast about pirates.

In this episode filled to the brim with useful facts, find out about what is in a digital pregnancy tester, Lippy's favourite cheese, why she wants to open an Aldi store and where have all the Christmas adverts gone?

There's also the case of the mystery alarm noise at the Grumpy house and confusion about wives, husbands and the spelling of geese.

Our trailer, recorded over Zoom, to make sure the distribution works.