Unabashed You: Recent Episodes
Rechelle Conde-Nau
Need some inspiration? Some encouragement?
You’re in the right place. At Unabashed You we focus on confidence so you will believe in yourself more; passion so you will turn it into purpose; and gratitude so you will find gifts even in the hardest of times.
Become who you already are because you’re already good enough.
What if you are at your lowest? Depressed, you’ve lost who you are. A few toxic relationships have run their course, and a few new events are placed in your path. You have nowhere to go but up, so you carefully lean in to clearing out the negative energy and not drinking to numb the pain. Nicole Rippee started saying ‘yes’ to showing up in her life with listening to where she was being led, and ‘yes’ to cultivating a community of support and encouragement. Fear would not have the last word. Bigger than fear was the thought of regret and she didn’t want any of that. Nicole is our guest this week for Let’s Talk about Mental Health.
You can find Nicole on Instagram at Hello Shade.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
She is right. It doesn’t take much time to send a text or to phone a friend. Maybe you’ve noticed they are a little bit off, not their usual self. So why not simply say, How are you doing? Are you good? Is everything okay? Jarkeshia McGahee is a mental health advocate who encourages us all to take that moment and to check in on your people. We all need to be seen and to know someone cares. Listening, offering help if needed, sharing resources and understanding the do’s and don’ts when someone opens up are practical ways to meet somebody right where they are at. It might make all the difference. Jarkeshia is our guest this week for “Let’s Talk about Mental Health.”
You can find Jarkeshia on her YouTube channel: Chop with Jam.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
There is tremendous value in understanding our emotions are not good or bad. We need to let them in and not ignore them. They are telling us something and if we don’t pay attention our bodies will be the one to keep score. This is how many physical symptoms and illnesses are born. Lina La Rue Gomez had many other wise and discerning things to say as our guest this week for “Let’s Talk About Mental Health.” She has learned the biggest challenges she has faced have brought the biggest blessings to her life.
You can find Lina’s podcast at The Streets of Our Lives and on LinkedIn at Lina La Rue Gomez.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Let’s start here: the number of times I said, Wow during this conversation would make a great drinking game if you’re not doing Dry January. David Waldas is our guest this week for Let’s Talk About Mental Health and he has a system of quieting the input of the outer world to restoring the health of the inner one. It’s a mechanical process that teaches you to shift energy so that you see yourself more accurately, and you are more aligned to live out your purpose. If you plug into this potential, this healing, then you’ll be able to support people more. And isn’t that a good thing?
You can find David at David Waldas.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What if your loved one is the one suffering? They toy with the idea of suicide as a way out, a way out from the pain and PTSD of actual protecting-our-country-battle. They served and come home with wounds. Amber Jeann Parker’s husband is the one who experienced trauma. She became caregiver, support person, and advocate number one. Yet she wondered, How long will this go on? It’s been a long, grueling process. Amber wanted to make sure she wasn’t missing anything along the way. Now they are big-time healing and wanting to share their story in the hope of encouraging others to find their way out. Amber is our guest this week for “Let’s Talk About Mental Health.”
You can find Amber at Choose Joy in the Midst.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Yes, you do believe what they tell you. You start out as a kid, you don’t know any better. So if your family of origin is dysfunctional, and they constantly put you down you, you feel small, unseen. That messes with how you see yourself. Why wouldn’t you believe it? It’s all you know. Cindy Attar is our guest for the “Let’s Talk About Mental Health” series. She shares moving out of that house at 18 began the changes that are still taking place today. Through various modes of healing, most notably hypnotherapy, she took the long journey back to herself. And now she knows she’s good enough.
You can find Cindy at cindyattar.com.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
This is our annual “takeaways and looks ahead” episode.
The end of a year brings a time of reflection along with a look into the hope of a new year. I’m part of a mini-mastermind that is a fancy way to say we hold each other accountable, we encourage and support one another. This week my friends Mary Ann Mariani, Amy DeFehr and I talk about the things we liked about 2024 like road trips, writing a book and appreciating the flow that comes with getting better at something. Then there was learning new things like Canva to help with work and Lagree for exercise. Looking into 2025 with the words we’ve each chosen to guide us: amplify, alive and abide. It was an inspiring conversation amongst friends. Consider starting a small group yourself. It’s well worth your time.
Amy has been on the show before in Walking Off a Cliffand I Know Because I Know.
Mary Ann has been on the show before inA Passionate Artist of Storyand I Was Mad at Myself.You can find her at Maryann@kindgompresenters.com.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, this time of year is full of holidays, celebrations, family, food and friends. It’s a time to draw close and to enjoy traditions or maybe some needed time on your own. You get to show up in your life as you see fit and I hope you are making the most of it at this time of year. In the same way I encourage you to be you, I also get to be me. It’s no secret I am a woman of faith. This podcast has given me the opportunity not only to be myself but also to hear your stories as a way to connect, to offer hope, and to inspire. So today at Christmas time I am sharing with you one such story.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
It’s a family affair. That is the name of a song that was made famous by a group called Sly and the Family Stone way back in the day (feel free to Google). Today for your listening pleasure, we have Shaun and the Family Stone, as in a fun play on words. Dedicated to family, and one family in particular with the last name of Stone, Shaun and I take a conversational approach to the Christmas movie, The Family Stone. We watched it together this year in preparation. Here are our insights, thoughts and feelings. Oh, and maybe a verklempt moment or two. There is a lot of love for this movie, and for me, with good reason. Shout out to Hillary and Robyn, fellow Family Stoners.
I was so excited to have this conversation that I forgot to plug in my mic! Forgive the less than stellar sound quality…
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Isn’t your parent the one who is supposed to keep you safe and protect you? Well, yes, but it doesn’t always go that way. Cindy Benezra knows this all too well. Her abuse came from her father while her mother lacked the courage to make it stop. If only this were an unfamiliar story. Sadly it is not. Our Grief and Gratitude guest understands how her family looked from the outside but appearances can be deceiving. Thankfully she created tools to help her survive and later, to thrive. And now Cindy knows she learned so much that she is compelled to share it. No doubt there are many more out there with a similar story who need the inspiration and encouragement.
You can find Cindy’s book here Under the Orange Blossoms.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Maybe grief is like a boulder set in your path that you have to figure out how to grow around. It’s not going anywhere, you can’t move it, so you find ways up, over, around and beyond it. That is the metaphor Kelsey Ellis used in describing the grief of losing her sister from Covid complications. Kelsey is our Grief and Gratitude guest this week. I also appreciated her expression that “grief is love with nowhere to go.” Well then, what do you do? In Kelsey’s case you start an organization that creates a place for grief. One that is out in nature, near the water, where you can remember your loved one, honor them, and be grateful for the love you shared. She started Waves of Grief for that very purpose.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
When you flip the tables and swap roles you have a new vantage point. From there you can see more clearly what you believe. Someone is asking you what you think, how you feel and you answer. Such was the experience I had in this conversation with Donna Cravotta. She is known for helping women stay visible with her campaign of The Real 50 Over 50 of which I am privileged to be a part of here. In this replay of the live-streamed conversation we talk about the importance of being authentic, of connecting, of collaborating of being exactly who you are. It’s a beautiful thing.
This is me sharing gratitude during this US Thanksgiving week. I am thankful for each listener, each reader, each guest, each friend of the show. Unabashed You takes my experience, my passion and turns it into purpose. The purpose of having conversations that will inspire and encourage you to be more. More you.
Donna has been on the UY podcast before in Our Stories Cannot Remain Untold episode 191.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What happens when your childhood is less than idyllic and you run away from home at age sixteen? That is the beginning of your journey out. Out of abuse, out of trauma. Our Grief and Gratitude guest, Havva Ramadan began a long journey of grief with lots of stages to get to a healthy place of healing because she was determined it would end with her. And guess what? She was able to break the cycle and be the catalyst for change in her family. Through work and commitment, Havva and her family came together in the best of ways before her dad died unexpectedly. A new kind of grief entered. Yet she is thankful for the good that came as she continues to wrestle with the loss of a changed man.
You can find Havva on Instagram.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What do you do when someone you love dies? Especially when it isn’t the natural order of things?Well, you can do what I did. You let yourself feel, all of it. You don’t want to but you need to. You don’t run, hide or look for a shortcut although I would definitely have gone for that. I’m your Grief and Gratitude guest this week and I recount the time when our child died. Not just the sadness of it all but the hope that can be found during, and especially after. In fact I turned the whole experience into a project (book) Standing Tall: A Collection of Hope.
I know I’m sharing something I stand to profit from. That’s not my point at all and in fact I care little about that. My intention is to support you in a time of need and for you to realize you are hardly alone. Beyond that, that you would seize the hope. It’s there. It’s ripe and it’s ready for you.
And the gratitude? Yes, it’s there in abundance. My advice there? You have to practice gratitude to get good at. Just like anything. Check out the blog to see what I mean.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Half of all marriages end in divorce the statistic says, and so, many of us came from a broken home. There is no way you get through that experience unscathed. This week’s Grief and Gratitude guest, Carisa Santana knows the sorrow of the family breaking up. Holes are left and as a kid you don’t understand. Carisa responded by being angry. Her anger eventually grew into depression which became debilitating. She learned you have to feel. You can’t deny it, run away or try to hurry it. If you shortchange the process of healing you are going to find yourself there again. Instead let yourself feel it, take care of your body, your mind and your soul. And then you can be grateful for where you are - like Carisa.
You can find her on Instagram at Carisa Santana Music.
Carisa has been on the show before in Music has Always Been in My Life.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
How do you get from regret to purpose? Well you take the grief you have experienced and you lean into it by learning from it, and moving forward with intention. Mary Ann Mariani is this week’s Grief and Gratitude guest. Due to some choices in her 20’s she felt unlovable and racked with shame. She was mad at herself. Ultimately she made the choice to return to her faith, and the veil of guilt and shame lifted. Gratitude came, and it was good.
She has been on the show before in A Passionate Artist of Story.
You can find Mary Ann on her website at Kingdom Presenters.
Her book is on Amazon here Your Story for God’s Glory.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
At age 15 he had a choice to make. Was he going to continue down the road he was on and get expelled from school or was he going to change? This week’s Grief and Gratitude guest, Brian Santana* wasn’t entirely sure. School had been his happy place where he could get into trouble with his friends. But now he had something to prove and not a lot of options. He started acting like a ‘good kid’ in his new school situation, met new friends, and ended up drastically changing the way he did things. Brian realized the more you do a thing the more you become it. And he is so grateful.
Brian has been on the podcast before in Be Your Authentic Self. You can find him on his website at Brian Santana.*
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Does everything happen for a reason? Ann Jonas says yes. And while she has experienced more than most of us ever will, she has landed on love as the response. No matter what she sees this life as a choice with all of us teachers, and all of us students. Don’t compare tragedies for grief will come and you need to allow it. The tragedies, the hard things, they are here for you. For when we feel, and we listen, we realize everything is there. Ann is our Grief & Gratitude guest this week.
You can find Ann on her website The Lotus Path.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Here’s a word we are hearing more and more. Neurodivergent. Coined in the 1990’s neurodivergent simply means someone whose brain processes information in a way that is not typical of most individuals. Think autism, ADHD, OCD, dyslexia and Down’s syndrome to name a few. Enter Barbara Grant, this week’s Grief & Gratitude guest. Through the grief of divorce she learned that neurodivergence does not have to be the end. Especially when in relationship it can be a new beginning but both people have to want it. While that was not her story Barbara is grateful. She helps neurodivergent couples thrive. She decided to grow anyway.
We don’t have to mask who we are. With the help of people like Barbara differences can be just that - differences. Really who wants to be identical to everyone else? I am grateful for the work Barbara is doing and I liked learning more about it.
You can find Barbara here Barbara Grant.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I remember the first time I spoke with Dawn Ward, she shared how she had some really tough times with the addiction of two of her children. She was hesitant to become an “expert” on the subject, yet God had other plans. He has taken her experience of making it through the worst of it to encourage other moms to make the best of it. Never easy, Dawn can understand what happens when your children succumb to the lure of the high, the need for the fix. To pay the hope forward she wrote From Guilt to Grace because she gets it. She wouldn’t wish addiction on anyone. Dawn is the first guest in our Grief & Gratitude Series.
Dawn has been on the show before in We Weren’t Going to Have These Problems episode 208.
You can find Dawn at The Faith to Flourish website.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
So who would you be if you weren’t afraid? The first time I heard that question I stopped in my tracks. The truth of it really spoke to me. That was several years ago and I still think of it often. I’ve come to think of fear and confidence as being on the same continuum. When your fear is high your confidence is low. When you have more confidence, or belief in yourself, your fear is minimized, manageable.
Looking at drying up fear Is like the sun shining its light in our growing/blooming analogy.
In this episode we’ll look at five of what I think of as the most common fears that stunt our growth:
• The What-if Game
• Not-good-enough
• People-Pleasing
• The Comparison Trap
• Imposter Syndrome
There are different strategies to counteract each. Check out the blog that goes with this episode for more. Remember that anxiety and worry are giving power to the problem. You need to shine a light on it, know what it is and then decide to work towards not letting fear stop you.
Lastly we will take an overview of confidence and ways we can increase it. There are five Ps to cover and they come courtesy of the wisdom of the guests we had during our recent Confidence Series. Confidence is the fertilizer of the growing, blooming analogy. It is as important as knowing yourself and minimizing fear. It takes all three to fully blossom. And let’s not forget this is our part while we surrender to God or your higher power to do theirs. Transformation. That’s part of why we’re here.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Let’s be clear. I am not into self as a form of ego, pride or toxicity. I am into loving yourself as a creation of God because remember when he made man he said it was very good. And we are. Already good enough, I know we struggle with the reality of it. Fear creeps in, self-doubt lingers and we become less than, we settle. This is the part I am speaking to, the part I want to remind myself about every day.
Self-realization is defined as the act of fully developing one's abilities and talents, or achieving the possibilities of one's personality or character; it is fulfilling one’s potential. So in other words, it’s healthy. This is what I want for me, it’s what I want for you. Are you there? Because I know I’m not. Yet I get to keep pressing forward and onward. I believe this is what God wants for me, for you.
Today we’ve got part 2 of the Becoming in 3 series. We are looking at knowing yourself. Why does it matter? It matters because you do. And you want to live the very advice you give your kids or anyone that you love. You want it for them. Why not want it for you?
The content is from a workshop I gave for Social Club Live with Isha Casagrande. I wanted to share this with you too.
My mom told me the Becoming, or the Bloom Scale from last week’s episode went pretty fast so I am going to have it be this week’s blog. You can find it there. You’ll be able to see the questions and findings on the second half of the page on the UY website.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I am really big on the ING of things: becoming, growing, fulfilling, etc. It indicates the present and it says I’m not done yet. I want to keep expanding into the fullness of who I am until my last breath. I want that for you too.
Today we begin a 3 part series on becoming with an emphasis on the ING. I think of it like this. You are like a seed that wants to, that has the potential to, become a beautiful, seen and appreciated, flower. Yes, the colors vary. There are so many possibilities and that is some of the very best life has to offer. Like me, you likely don’t want to get to the end and wish you’d been more, done more.
Now I’m not talking about worldly metrics, I’m talking about doing what you could with what you have, being all you could be. You would not want that seed to stay a seed or to even stay in a stunted growth state. No, you would nurture it into being all that it can be. I’ve always loved this quote
To achieve all that is possible, you must attempt the impossible,
To be all that you can be, you must dream of being more.
That is courtesy of John C. Maxwell. It was written in a card someone gave me when I was really struggling with a crippling bout of anxiety. This woman who was in a support group with me, wrote it to encourage me, to inspire me. I’ve since forgotten her name but I have not forgotten how those words made me feel. That was well over 30 years ago and I’ve kept those words close to my heart.
This is an invitation to join me for a 3-part series of becoming, heavy emphasis on the ING. Remember you’re never done, at least not in this life.
The content is from a workshop I gave for Social Club Live with Isha Casagrande.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
This is what you can do after. After the hard thing, when you come back to yourself. You can figure out who you are, who you want to be, and amongst other things, what your superpower is. Then go be you and do the things that only you can do - to the fullest. Because ‘after’ you’re still here and that’s gotta mean something. And it does to this week’s guest. Tony Hicks is here, and he has the superpower of listening. He listens with warmth, is respectful and genuinely wants to connect. Not only does Tony want to connect, he also wants to help. In his words he finds it extraordinarily satisfying. Tony is our final Superpower Series guest.
To find out, or partner with, the great work the foundation is doing, click here TKF.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
They say if you want to learn something, teach it. I think there is truth in that. And of course if you have the desire to pour into kids great experiences so that they not only learn skills but also have their character shaped, well that is extra sweet indeed. Amanda Pontsler has the superpower of teaching. I know that first-hand as I’ve seen her in action many times. Anyone who has had the good fortune to be on the receiving end of her gifts will be more confident in all the ways that matter. Amanda is our Superpower Series guest today.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What if you’re good at a lot of things? Then not only do you have much to give, but we have much to receive. Jessica Williams has the superpower of caring for others, teaching and planning. Often they are all rolled up together in service to benefit those around her. They know she’s there to listen, be a presence for them, and do what she can to help. And apparently Jess can throw a themed party on a budget, one that has everyone marveling at her talents. Jess is our Superpower Series guest this week.
Here is where you can find Jess:
Warrior Women Website
Warrior Women Instagram
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Her superpower is encouragement. Amanda Schaefer combines a genuine love of people, and a love of God into whatever situation she’s in. She looks for the good even in the bad and helps those who need it get to a better place. As she tells it, growing is hard, that it takes discipline and that being grateful is a choice, one that is cultivated through training. Telling it like it is, Amanda is the guest this week in our Superpower Series.
Here are some places to find Amanda:
www.instagram.com/acupof_gratitude
www.facebook.com/amanda.f.schaefer
www.acupofgratitude.org
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
This woman has much to offer. As a woman of faith, Wilma Hollis has powerful insights about how to speak life so that we learn that the words we use make a profound difference in how we experience this life. Do we want to shrink or increase? Her superpower is just that, the ability to speak life so that you are encouraged to live out your dreams and make them a reality. If you change your words you change your life. It’s that simple and that doable. Wilma is our Superpower Series guest today.
You can find Wilma on Instagram.
And her website is Wilma Hollis.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
It’s more natural to her than talking. Sarah Harbut expresses herself in creative ways through writing, which is her superpower. She feels a responsibility to be respectful with her words. If she can’t say something to someone’s face then she doesn’t type it. That’s a moral code not everybody has. Sarah is also more than willing to be an advocate for herself or others who need it. Someone has to be the one to stand up to what’s wrong. Either way Sarah has a gift with words. She knows their power and their potential.
You can find her here Sarah on Instagram.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
How about when the load is too heavy for you to bear. Someone comes along and actually helps you carry it because they see what you need. You take it off and they put it on. They don’t rush you, and will be there as long as it takes as they support you through the process. That is one great strength to have as it requires empathy. And that is Mike Pittman’s superpower. He is our guest this week.
You can find him here Mike on Instagram.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Connector. Jessica Stoeckeler likes to help people, to connect them because of needs or desires that others can help fill. It automatically pops into her mind: you need to meet so-and-so, they need to meet you. It comes naturally and that’s what makes Jess a generous person in my mind. She’s our Superpower Series guest this week and her superpower is…you guessed it, connector. And I’ll add one that I see, a can-do woman with an enduring entrepreneurial spirit.
You can find Jess here on Instagram.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
ESP. When was the last time you heard about it? Extra sensory perception, perception which refers to the ability to gain information without using the known human senses. Kori Nau is this week’s guest in our Superpower Series. She says some human beings are blessed with the God-given ability of ESP which includes telepathy, clairvoyance, precognition, clear cognizance, and declared knowing. And Kori is on the ESP spectrum. As she shares, that’s her superpower.
You can find Kori on Instagram at Kori Amor or College We Will.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Yes, he’s definitely an empathetic individual, no question about that as a superpower. Shaun Conde takes that strength wanting you to know he’s ready to listen and to be with you in whatever you’re going through. And maybe that’s why he was drawn to his profession as a performer. By telling stories, performers can help make people feel different ways, and can help alleviate stress.
Wondering what your superpower is? Shaun shared three ways to figure it out. First it keeps coming up again and again. You can’t help yourself. Next it fulfills you - you can even feel it physically bring you joy. And lastly people let you know. Listen for the feedback, it’s likely there so pay attention to claim your own superpower. It’s part of why you’re here.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Turns out she’s a great listener. People confide in her and she honors their confidence. Karen Hacker also has the superpower of faith. She could not have gone through losing six family members in seven years without God by her side. And even before that she was no stranger to grief. Karen and Rick’s infant son Matthew died a couple of days after he was born. What do you do with all that pain? Well, it turns out you turn it into a superpower and help others discover and expand the hope you have. It’s Hope in the Darkness, the promise of Romans 8:28 which is the book Karen wrote about it all.
You can find Karen here:
8:28 Hope website
The book on Amazon
On Instagram
The book
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Dynamic. That is how I would describe Ella Parlor. During our conversation she had great points to make about many things including how divided we are with us vs them, getting too far into extremes. What about meeting in the middle somewhere. Ella is the gray and I can relate. And identifying her superpower? Her voice. She can cut tension with humor and spark joy. Ella is able to make people laugh and smile on their hardest days.
You can find Ella at
Website: ellaparlor.com
Instagram: @ellayourbella
Podcast:Eavesdrop with Ella
YouTube:Eavesdrop with Ella
“High Tolerance” on Amazon
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Like it or not, summer is a time of blockbuster superhero movies. I like to think we all have that one thing that is a superpower, that is ours. This is a strength, something you excel in. Other people know it, and you know it too. Welcome to our Superpower Series.
With greater awareness comes greater decisions. Jacinta Richmond shared that nugget in this episode and I think it’s true. The more you know the more you can become. And isn’t that what most every superhero realizes? Be sure you can see that, and be that in yourself. Jacinta is aware and able to see the possibilities, what could be whether it be in people, places or products. She can’t help herself. That’s her superpower - seeing potential. Don’t wait until you’re older and you’re tired of being someone else. Step into all that you are. Fully.
You can find Jacinta at
business@jacintarichmond.com
www.jacintarichmond.com
https://payhip.com/JacintaRichmond
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We all have gifts we have been given that help define who we are. There are things that light us up and bring us joy. Often we let fear get in the way of exploring them or bringing them to fruition. May these questions and quotes inspire you to work past the fear and get to your passion so you can make it your purpose.
*What are you waiting for?
*Who would you be if you weren’t afraid?
*What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Listen as I share some thoughts around these questions and pair them with powerful quotes that have made a profound difference in my life. May they begin to do the same for you.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
There are reasons we are living this life. In addition to the people we love, and the people who love us, we are meant to express ourselves through the passion we have, and then to find a purpose, a way to share it. When you were a kid, what brought you joy? Does it still?
I think of my brother who as a young boy liked to dress up in military uniforms and carry toy weapons. He grew up to be a firefighter and has become an expert in using firearms responsibly. I think it’s telling. As a young girl I was drawn to performances, like getting goosebumps every year when Leslie Ann Warren starred in the movie Cinderella. (That was back when you had to wait a year to see something you really enjoyed.) It is still true today. When I am moved I get goosebumps, sometimes cry and occasionally weep.
I love the power in performance arts and the joy found in storytelling. We can learn and be inspired by each other. This episode explores passion and purpose: how you might begin to rekindle yours or discover a new one. I’ll be asking four questions for you to ponder. I’ve asked them of myself and insisted I follow through with what I found. May you be encouraged to do the same.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
It started with her own need to lose those last 12 pounds after having twins. Courtney Gray used that desire along with motivational tips she’d picked up along the way to change her mindset. And it worked. You start with being radically honest with yourself. From there you learn how to deal with limiting beliefs, how to handle urges, along with other strategies you’ll need to be successful. You’ll likely be uncomfortable but you can do hard things. Courtney will teach, encourage and more. She’s found a passion and turned it into purpose creating ways to help women be more of who they want to be.
You can find Courtney on Instagram at Modern Life, Modern Body.
She is currently living in a place called Where America’s Day Begins. The US territory of Guam is where Annie Weber is and where she felt called to share the purpose born from her passion. It’s helping people understand the Bible, so she wrote a book and formatted it in a way to make different passages easier to understand. It’s called Astounding Truths of the Bible. Annie takes a verse, explains the context, and helps you turn it into a prayer. All of this done in a relatable way as she weaves humor and personal stories into the mix. I just ordered mine and am looking forward to diving in.
You can find Annie on Instagram at Astounding Truths.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Yes, she is my sister’s sister. How does that work? Well, my sister and I share a father but not a mother. Her mother went on to have two more kids with a different man and that’s how she is my sister’s sister. Not related by blood, recently introduced, I’ve come to appreciate all that Amy Schadt is doing to help women transition into feeling fully empowered. She calls it Radical Embodiment. She’s been through it herself and now wants other women to reach their full potential. Amy walks us through a four-step process to get there. Why would you settle for less than all you can be when you can dream of being more?
You can find Amy at Amy Schadt.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
He wants us to stay connected, to take the time to have conversations because they are meaningful and deepen our relationships. We had Chris Burnett on the show just a few weeks ago but I invited him back because he is turning his passion into purpose. He has set aside May 6 - 12 and named it Conversations Week. Chris has invited us all to reach out to someone to reconnect, invite them out or call them on the phone. Let them know you want to catch up and find out how they are, showing them that they are important to you. You get to remind them of their worth, and in that, you will feel yours.
You can find Chris on Instagram at Conversations Movement.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
She describes herself as courageous. Yes, I definitely saw that. I also saw beauty and radiance woven together in the most delightful way. Christelle Biiga grew up wondering if random strangers were happy. That early curiosity drove her from Cameroon to California where she has been able to take that desire, and marry it with her love of speaking. She wants to inspire and empower others. If she can do that through booking people on podcasts so that they have more visibility, then Christelle’s at the sweet spot of her passion and purpose. She wants you to know, you too, have what it takes to do what is possible.
You can find Christelle at Exposure Maven.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What if you were called to a hard life? What if your closest loved ones needed your passion and purpose to survive and to thrive? Amber Jeann Parker didn’t realize her interest in evidenced-based science would marry so well with her faith; that her life would revolve around literally helping her family stay alive. Her husband has faced mental health challenges after serving our country in combat resulting in PTSD. And two of their kids have life-threatening disorders that need a mom to be vigilant on their behalf. All of this and Amber’s focus is still to choose joy, even in the midst. She’s a truth teller.
You can find Amber on Instagram at Choose Joy in the Midst.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
When you realize what a butterfly goes through to become, you have an idea that beautiful things can develop from struggle, from breaking free. Such is the case with Estelle Polevoy who used to wake up feeling anxious. She realized the life she was living was not the life she wanted, so she set about to heal by visiting her inner child and doing the necessary work of transformation. If you get to the root that is where the power starts. From there it’s ok to say no to that which isn’t beneficial, and yes to discovering all of who you are. Women are fierce, they have hidden potential just waiting to be realized.
You can find Estelle on Instagram at Fierce Female Co.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
You take a small town girl who marries early, has kids and enjoys a couple of successful careers. But along the way two of your children grow up to become addicted to drugs. One started with experimentation and got hooked. A year later the other one was given pain medication after a surgery and ended up becoming dependent. How on earth do you help? Dawn R. Ward found herself somewhere she’d never thought she’d be - helping other parents with children who are in the throes of addiction. Of course this was after her own sons were recovering. It’s been years of practice, learning what works, what doesn’t, and now she can encourage others. She has faith to flourish.
Conversations. Are they a lost art? In this Information Age of texting, emailing, and social media we may be losing authentic connection. This week’s guest Chris Burnett wants to change that. It started with 50 recorded conversations in one week with family and friends and its turned into a conversations movement. He was amazed by what he discovered and the richness that followed. Chris is finding all kinds of different ways to encourage us to experience the same benefits. Taking the time to ask questions, to learn, and to truly connect, is where the sweet spot of coming together is. Let’s not lose that.
You can find Chris on Instagram at Conversations Movement.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Who knew? Some would consider this change too small to make a difference, and yet there it was. Christine Nicole Cooper found out that keeping her nails looking nice led to a boost of confidence that she didn’t expect. Going from low self-esteem to empowering other women was not in the original blueprint either. Yet you can go from diesel mechanic and volunteer firefighter to helping other women feel better about themselves, all through the power in self-care. The nails are a good place to start.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Sometimes a surrender is small but that doesn’t necessarily mean its easy. There was a time when Addie Cooley lived in India for five years. She was not used to the custom of unannounced visitors. Out the window went the American way of calling first or having a scheduled time. And to be a good host you needed to offer refreshments, to be gracious during the visit. So forget the things you thought you were going to get done that day. It took a while to surrender her old custom of planning. Through lots and lots of practice Addie did, and it helped her learn to live a more fluid life. In doing so she was able to thrive.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
It’s complicated. Who controls the resources, in this case the minerals? Different armed groups fight to dominate so there is violence, chaos. And what if you are a woman in the Democratic Republic of Congo where violence and poverty prevail? What then? Caitlin Sturgis got the nudge early on to help the women and children in a place far from home, a place she’d never been. She has a heart for social justice and was happy to lend what she could to help. What if we are for one another? What could that look like?
You can find Caitlin at Moseka Action Project.
Thanks for being part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
You’re at your father’s funeral and you find out what your sister really thinks of you. She has checked all the boxes of who you are. In her mind. But she’s wrong. Erin Sur decided not to leave it there. She chose to have the hard conversation, in love, not defense, to be better understood by her sister. Not knowing how it was going to go, she had to try. There was more in store after her dad’s passing. Lots of relationships changed and some even went away. It was like God was moving the pieces on a chess board. This is what she had to surrender to. And it was hard.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Eighteen doctors. That’s how many Stephanie Shaw went to for her symptoms not to mention the $20,000 out of pocket. Menopause. And it hit her hard. Hair loss, tingling, all kinds of physical and emotional turmoil due to the change in hormones. It wasn’t until she realized she was doing things she didn’t need to do, that she surrendered to God to figure out what was going on with her body. The more she prayed and meditated, “Help me with this,” the more it became clear what to do next.
It all became fuel for her podcast “Hello Hot Flash” where she shares her experience and has other guests on to help women who need the support. We can be afraid to speak our mind and Stephanie is big on encouraging women to build confidence. Sound familiar? And I like the connection she makes between surrender and trust. A point well made and one worth remembering.
You can find Stephanie at Hello Hot Flash.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
She’s in it right now. Surrender. Something she didn’t want, didn’t plan for and yet most of the pieces of her life came apart. Toni Marinucci shares her business, her finances, her flame, and her living situation all changed. One right on top of the other. What did she do? How did she get through? Toni is quick to point out yes, she is still in it but she’s looking at the failure as feedback, as a way to completely regroup and start over.
As she points out, we’re put on this earth to help people. Toni is shedding the old layers to grow new ones, better ones, to rebuild all the parts of her life. Being in the messy middle is simply temporary. She has learned it’s ok to not be ok, and by letting go of her ego she is surrendering to a new beginning. “I know the qualities of the person I want to become.” I for one know she will become that and much more. And I will be on the sidelines cheering her on.
Toni has been on the show before in We All Start as a Beginnerepisode 83.
You can find Toni at Tips with Toni.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
YouTube
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Two hundred. Wow, how did that happen? That’s right, today we are celebrating the 200th episode of Unabashed You and here to bring his premier conversational skills to the party, is none other than Shaun Conde. He asks me various questions about these past few years, how it all came to be, and what I’ve learned.
What I know is that it has been an extraordinary pleasure to connect with each guest, for each conversation. And if you’re wiling, we will continue on hopefully inspiring you to be a bit more you, fueling you with confidence to go out and do the thing that only you can do. Encouragement is our thing. Let us know how we can encourage you.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
The answer was no. The application for a visa to study in Canada was denied. Surrendering to this only fueled his desire to find a way. Enitan Balogun gave himself a day to feel down, all the human emotions you have when a roadblock is put in the way of a goal. He would not let any fear define him. Then Enitan honed in on exactly what the problem was, the why.
Once you determine the why of a problem, you can best find a solution. The roadblock may be beyond your control but don’t run away from it, Enitan advises. Face your fears, surrender with a “Here I am” attitude and start strategizing a way to move forward. You pick yourself up because you have faith there are better days ahead.
Enitan has been on the podcast before in Capturing Life through a Lens - episode 76; Consistency and Prayer - episode 102; And the Sky will be Your Starting Point - episode 186.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
“It’s already done.” This is the moment of surrender when you know you have done all you can and you recognize the best choice is to release the outcome. This week’s guest Sarah Harbut leaves what happens next to God. She looks to him for guidance, and she seeks his voice over her own. Sometimes those are hard to differentiate. And that is another level of surrender.
Sarah was led to write her story because she felt there was at least one someone out there who needed to hear it. She experienced generational domestic abuse. Writing about it was painful, and healing. Sarah knew this was the beginning of surrendering to the right influences. When you use your voice you have peace and are secure with who you are. What comes next? According to Sarah, now it’s God’s turn.
Sarah has been on the podcast before in I’m Going to Write a Book episode 170.
You can find Sarah on Instagram at Less Fear More Fire.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
You start out with a vision. The vision is grand because, why not? You are in your mind. Once you work to make it a reality, things likely shift. This was true for T-Bone Rube, this week’s guest in our Surrender series. He had an idea to create a spectacular show during the holidays with gifted performers, merry music and then book that in Manhattan. Yet circumstances were beyond his control.
Slowly things changed and it was clear this was not going to turn out to be what T-Bone created in his mind. He had to decrease the scale of the show to fit realistic expectations, some of the cast had to drop the show for a variety of different reasons, and there was not an ample amount of advance ticket sales. So what did he do? He surrendered to what was, and ended up doing an acoustic one-man show. And, it was good.
He has been on the show before in Frankie Valli is his Biggest Inspiration episode 144.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What does surrender mean to you? As in, you find yourself in a circumstance that you have no control over. How do you react? Do you fight it kicking and screaming? Do you get caught up in obsessive worry about the outcome? Ellen Burgan is our guest this week and she begins this new series of, you guessed it, surrender. She explains it takes practice and a lot of self compassion if you want to make the most of it. And you do.
Ellen shares you can grow your acceptance of the situation by listing the things you can control vs the things you can’t. Focus on what you can do by getting info on the unknowns, being patient with yourself and finding a way to add something positive to the experience. Just like she did when her son went to New Zealand and she blogged about his adventures. Having to surrender? You likely didn’t ask for it, but you’re here so make the best of it. Let surrender be a catalyst for change.
She was on before in I Knew There was More Out Thereepisode 159.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We often say we “just want to be happy” or that we “just want our kids to be happy.” Is that really the goal for our lives? I was on Kelly Robinson’s podcast “Kelly Minds Her Manors” recently and had the opportunity to flesh out some different thoughts I have. It was during her Fearless Five portion of the show when she asked me “Something you think other people value that you don’t.” For me, happiness is fleeting, flighty even, not sustainable and definitely not a goal. That just can’t be it. It doesn’t speak to character-building by going through the hard things, being fulfilled by the weighty things or the great sense of joy which I find a deeper, more satisfying place to be.
So this is me, on Kelly’s show.
Kelly asked me about my coaching style. I shared how much I relish small group work while being hands on throughout. We learn so much from each other when we are willing to be vulnerable. Intimacy is built and there is a safe space to interact, to connect. I want each person I work with to be seen, and to be encouraged. On our way we will set goals and track progress. Think about the person you are in your imagination. Now compare that to how you show up in your real life. Those two should be closely aligned and if they’re not, let’s do some work to get there. You’ll be glad you did.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
As a young girl she wanted to be a nurse because she thought the uniforms were cute. Then she realized the doctors are the ones that tell the nurses what to do so she changed her mind. Tolulope Olabintan did become a doctor. She paid attention to the restlessness inside of her. Of course it wasn’t easy, what is? Tolu did the hard things, made the sacrifices and became confident in her chosen field.
Part of the journey came when her beloved aunt died from asthma. That spurred Tolu on to focus on lifestyle medicine so that what she imparts will outlive her. Big picture thinking, and wanting what’s best for each person, are hallmarks of who she is. Tolulope emphasizes the value of recognizing and nurturing one's own unique talents, and not being distracted by comparing oneself to others. Here, here!
Her 2023 takeaways? This was a “stretchy” year and she realized, “Our challenges are not meant to break us but to increase our capacity.” Mic drop. And her looks ahead into 2024? “It is never too late.” You can make positive changes, try new things, live your best life in the later decades in your 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. Follow her advice: don’t give up.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
“Time leaves no fruit on the tree.” This is a lyric from a John Mayer song and a phrase that Johanna Lobo lives by. It reminds her to seize the day and not put off important or enjoyable things so she takes the advice to heart daily. Another practice is paying attention to self-talk. Are you harder on yourself than you would be to anyone else? If so, stop. Be as good to yourself as you would be to someone you loved, which should include you.
If you believe you are capable then by all means step out, and take a risk. It will take courage Johanna explains as the two are woven together in ways hard to describe. If you are courageous, you will be more confident. If you are confident, you will be more courageous. These two characteristics, truly are something we can all have. You just plain have to feel it inside, and allow yourself the time to get better at it. Then watch out!
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do." - Eleanor Roosevelt. This is the quote Amy DeFehr and I could not quite recall. It’s so true and one we should remember because the fear of what others think is the number one reason we don’t try things.
Amy defined confidence as, “a feeling of knowing you can do anything, taking it out of the heart and into the head. I don’t need anyone to tell me, because I know.”
Here are Amy’s 3 suggestions to increase confidence:
You have to do things that scare you; get past the feeling, once you do one it leads you to the next
Do something that is a release, accomplish something that is hard (like a workout) or get in nature
Surround yourself with really good people; they see you, know you, and are cheering you on
Amy has been on the podcast before in Walking Off a Cliff episode 26.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What do you think of this definition of confidence? A place of belief in oneself that is unshakable. This week’s guest, Donna Cravotta, had a lot to say about women over 50 owning who they are and not caring what others think. And that spells confidence. She shares that these women are a bridge, a bridge between how life was and how life's going to be. It’s a special moment in time.
It began after her frustration with the lack of representation for women of a certain age in mainstream media along with her determination to create a platform for them. Donna created, "The Real 50 Over 50 Visibility Project: The Wisdom Revolution,” which aims to uncover and amplify the stories of women over 50 who are changing the world. She is hard at work providing ways for them to connect and collaborate. These untold stories are important for us all.
You can find Donna here Donna Cravotta Media Group.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
It all changed when she read Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Elyse Muscha recognized herself in the story and what followed was an evolution of who she knew she was. The confidence came through feeling comfortable in her own skin. That involved some risk taking because one of the biggest lessons for her was the realization that complacency is the enemy of confidence.
Elyse shared these practical suggestions to minimize the negativity and maximize the confidence.
You need to surround yourself with positive people (those that build you up)
Take the risk (do it scared - step on the gas, yellow lights can be complacency)
Mirror time (talk to yourself like you would to others, the more you hear it, the more you will be rewired to believe it)
Take the time to fill your cup (self-care is a must)
To follow Elyse’s blog you can find it at The Prismatic Pencil Box.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Wise. Powerful. Friend. That is how I would describe this week’s guest, Arlana Scola as she shared many inspiring thoughts about confidence. Like her definition: it is knowing in the deepest part of yourself you’ve got it. Even in the hard times. This is especially true as Arlana’s foundation comes from her relationship with Christ, within that she doesn’t have to worry about anything.
Arlana’s three suggestions to strengthen your confidence muscle?
Decide what you want to build confidence in: whatever it is (like public speaking)
Make a plan of how you’re going to do it (practice in front of mirror, record)
Go out and do it!
It’s ok if you fall on our face because doing so is a great teacher. You can assess and grow the muscle. If you thwart or stop you won’t make any progress so get out there and try something.
You can find Arlana at Arlana's website and by email Arlana's email.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
His grandfather left an indelible imprint on his life. He showed him, “Love is what love does” and “If love doesn’t do anything then love ain’t nothing” and more, all through example. I picture a humble, hard-working, confident man. I think I’m right. This week’s guest, Mike Pittman, shared this tender story of working with his grandfather as a teenager, and how it helped form him into who he became.
My three words for Mike? Creative. Curious. Confident.
Mike defined confidence as “that thing that convinces you, you can do something.” (Simple and profound.) And the three suggestions to become more confident?
Suspend the belief that what you want is not possible to have
Surround yourself with people better than you, at least one person you can learn from
Be willing to be taught; don’t limit yourself or miss out on knowledge
You can find Mike on Instagram at Tall Bald Mike Photography.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Strike a pose. (You likely remember that line from the Madonna song, Vogue.) This week Jessica Stoeckeler challenged us all to strike a confident pose for at least a minute and see how we feel after. You know, stand up tall, shoulders back, chest out and head held high. Yes! There definitely is a physical component to showing up and feeling confident.
And the three things Jessica suggests we do to become more confident:
1) Keep track of your accomplishments (even daily)
2) Do some sort of challenging exercise (I can do anything!)
3) Put on some bright red lipstick (I feel GREAT!)
You can accomplish anything if you try, even hard things. Just ask Jessica.
Jessica has been on the podcast before in I Need Tough Love episode 151.
You can find Jessica on Instagram at Jessica Stoeckeler.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Who do you count on when you are in a pinch? I am happy to say I reached out to this young man all the way to Nigeria (from California) and he stepped into today’s recording. Enitan Balogun. He’s been on the show before and he never ceases to surprise me with his ability to inspire this third-act woman.
His distinction between feeling confident and being confident? A feeling is temporal, it’s just for the moment, whereas if you are being confident it is a part of who are. It’s a matter of trusting yourself and your instinct.
And the three things needed to reach that point of believing in yourself? Enitan said, believe in yourself or no none else will; find a mentor who is aligned with you; and be collaborative because you are better together and you have each other’s backs when things don’t go the way you planned.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Right after the recorded part of this conversation, we continued to talk about confidence and why we think it is invaluable for each person to have. Our guest Lindsay Gumm, said there is a deficit of confidence out there, and I couldn’t agree more. Her definition for confidence is being in a state of flow, which I thought was a cool way to describe it.
And why are we so much harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else? Lindsay walked us through how she challenges the negative self-talk that is all too easy for us to listen to. If we do it only erodes our belief in ourself. She takes quiet time, becomes aware of the voice, and then examines what it is saying. In this way she can compare it to what is actually true, to what is. A worthwhile practice and one we can all do. It can only help us with our own confidence.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Who is someone we would all know that is the picture of confidence? Our guest this week, Shaun Conde, answered Brad Pitt. His reasons? For being effortlessly confident but not braggadocios, for being down to earth, comfortable with himself, and for being someone who doesn’t need to prove anything, to anyone. Of course we don’t actually know Mr. Pitt yet he does exude these qualities.
And is there a difference between being confident and feeling confident? There are opposing thoughts that say one comes first, and the other follows. For our purposes Shaun felt if you summoned up courage, you could rise to the occasion and do a a hard thing scared. Why not? You don’t know how it will go. No one does. Most people want you to succeed. The ones that don’t don’t matter in the big picture of your life anyway.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
You start with the word joyful, and you add icity, to make Joyfulicity. It’s not an official word but really who cares? You can tell what Laura Wakefield had in mind when she coined it. Laura asked me to come on her Joyfulicity podcast and I was happy to oblige. So what did we talk about? Turns out Laura did some homework by visiting the UY website and we had a great conversation about some things she found there. Like the three core values I value most: authenticity, transparency and vulnerability, and how I claimed them.
We also chatted about the importance of knowing yourself because then you can understand who you are, build your confidence, and reduce your fears. We also pondered some questions posted on the UY website like, Who would you be if you weren’t afraid? Why are you here? What are you doing about it? Looking at passion, adding intention, can equal your purpose if you let it. You are probably the only thing holding you back.
Laura has been on UY episode 154, Learn to Dance in the Rain.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Emily Bruning is singing because she is filled with joy. Happiness is great but joy is better. It’s deeper and it’s lasting. She has made the best out of a pivot and changed course from the inside out. She had a restaurant job she was good at and worked with people she enjoyed BUT there was that returning feeling that something was missing. I miss theater was what she realized. Emily could have settled instead she listened to the nudge and did something about it.
First she started by asking herself some hard questions. Then she wrote about them to get clearer on the answers. Emily took a leap of faith, she didn’t have all the answers, that is where trust comes in. Once again she chose theater because this was the missing piece, where her heart always was. She set that goal and kept after it until she made it happen. All along the way she created routines that helped get her there, one for the morning and one at night. These habits helped build and provide direction for her, they have brought her the joy that results in singing all the time.
Emily has been on the podcast before in Daisies Help Me Breatheepisodes 13, and Takeaways and Looks Ahead episode 40.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Your own life experiences really color your perspective. They are a custom made kaleidoscope to how you see things, the choices you make. During our conversation, Sara Marsh shared that we view others through our own lens. Everyone has a story. We may assign a particular storyline to them to fill in the gaps based on us, not necessarily them - human nature and all that. Sara’s point is maybe it’s better not to, but to see things from their perspective, not our own.
This is especially true when it comes to her son. She calls parenting the best and worst experience of her life, and anyone who has children gets the truth of the high highs and the low lows. Throughout their lives together, Sara’s son inspires her to be in the present moment because that’s where he is. Through being a brave, kind and funny kid from the system she sees he is a survivor, and she is all too happy to give him the best start to life possible.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Sometimes a pivot comes from within. You want to change something. What about when the thing coming is external? For Shannon Ziolkowski, the company she worked for since college was moving headquarters from Minneapolis to Miami. She did not want to make that geographical change and uproot her life. Shannon chose to stay.
Staying would mean leaving the company she loved. Faced with lots of change she did three things to pivot. First, she rewrote her resume even though it’s something she hates to do. Looking at her accomplishments, she got some help in how to translate those in an appealing, marketable way. Next she put herself out there creating a digital presence and applied to many openings posted. Not easy but necessary. Then she networked. Connecting, talking with others she was able to lean on the people in her circle as she valued their opinions. All the while she took the advice she would give to her 10-year old self: Believe in yourself. Your decisions will be ok and it’s going to work out.
Shannon was on the podcast before in You Can Still Have Fun in the Sun episode 153.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
You can hear it in her voice. It’s inviting, warm and knowing. Wilma Hollis is passionate about sharing the goodness of God. She shares that we underestimate him. “He is more Daddy, not so much Father.” We are his children and as she further explains we are not to leave any crumbs on the table. God has so much more for you than you could want for yourself. Wilma wants to encourage you with this knowing.
Not understanding the connection between our words and our outcomes, is how Wilma frames life speaking to you. And that’s the title of her book, Life Speaking 101: Speak Life and Win. “You have the ability to speak God’s words and get God’s results.” Another layer deeper than most of us tend to think. I like Wilma’s observation that God speaks for the solution of the light instead of speaking the problem. Certainly something to ponder.
You can find Wilma at her website Life Speak 101 and on Instagram Wilma Hollis Life Speak.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Her dream is for more girls to have flying opportunities. Jenn Aupke is an accomplished pilot herself and she knows how life changing aviation can be. In addition to her military career she co-founded The Milieux Project to help this dream take shape. The non-profit educates girls to realize they have personal power, for them to know they have potential, and to push into it.
As Jenn shares, aviation is the great equalizer because as you learn to fly the confidence gets built in regardless of your gender. She wants this kind of an experience for everyone and is focusing on girls to help provide the possibilities. And in this way they won’t have to compare themselves to anyone else because they will trust themselves and they will soar.
You can find Jenn at The Milieux Project, and on Instagram Jenn Aupke.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Most every episode a guest says something that hits me as a profound truth, one I have probably heard before and forgotten, and certainly one I need to be reminded of. Robyn Rebold-Smith spoke of making choices very intentionally. How giving her ‘best yes’ to one thing meant saying no to other things. No to things that she would be missing out on but would give more quality and strength to the ‘yes’ somewhere else. I have been sitting in this wisdom, how simple and balanced it is.
Robyn is committed to being real and that means having challenging conversations when necessary. She investigates and gathers information to see things from all perspectives. Then she looks at her part in the situation to see how to make things better. She loves people and wants to have positive impact. And her greatest passion? Raising the two human beings that call her mom.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
This 15-year old was quick to say yes to being on the podcast. Again. Talking about the big pivot of heading into high school, Indya Hazlett had three important things to share: have a close friend to go through the experience with you, choose a mentor who has been there before, and pay attention to what you like to do.
You never know; you could turn that thing you you’ve always liked to do into a profession. Indya plans to be a stylist after after high school. She has known it for a long time. Her favorite thing is to get ready. That entails a bit of make-up, a flattering hairstyle, a killer outfit and a kickass attitude. And guess what? Indya has all of that in spades.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
The very thing she tried to hide, her voice, is exactly how God has used her. Jessica Williams went from wondering if she was worthy of his love to knowing she is. Her willingness to be vulnerable encouraged others to do the same and as she shared her story it opened the door for others. Jessica turned her message into a book, Healing from Past Wounds. And who doesn’t have some of those?
As Jessica explains, things have been chosen for you. Passion has been given to you. There is a plan for your life. Are you willing to surrender and trust? If so, sit back and still yourself. Listen and pay attention because the very desire you have is a call on your life. You were meant to be you. Jessica no longer asks permission to be who she is. She already knows.
You can find Jessica on the website Warrior Women IC; on Instagram Warrior Women IC (same handle for FB); on YouTube Warrior Women in Christ (same tile for podcasts).
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
This woman. My three words for Isha Casagrande? Generous. Driven. Beautiful. And not just her appearance although she’s got that for sure. Her heart. It’s as fine as they come. Her joy is to inspire women to be comfortable in their own skin. That can start as simply as a smile on your face first thing in the morning, and putting something on your body that makes you feel good.
As Isha shares there is a lot of good going on in our lives but we need to be careful because the bad screams louder which then tends to get our attention. So what will you focus on? Take it slow, steady, and be a planner so you can free up some time to be. Keep the quiet time simple. This is what she has learned. Isha knows who she is, and knows her calling. Can we each say the same?
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
He believes in partnerships. Professionally he’s worked for some big-name women launching their shoe divisions. Personally Gene Berkowitz believes you’ve got to get out there and make the best of this life. He not only says it, he does it. Work hard, play hard is his motto. And after putting in the years in a very successful fashion career it’s time to pivot and to play.
Gene and Dwight have bought a home in the California desert so they can enjoy their down time. With dog Diesel that will be easy to do. He’s looking forward to some new challenges as he wants to continue to learn and grow. One thing on the bucket list is to volunteer for causes he believes in. That’s one of the ways you can get out there. Gene will continue to look for ways to make things better.
No one is coming. There will be no rescues, no one to do the thing for you. Sure you will have your people, and they will be there for support and encouragement, to love you. When it comes to the work, the doing, the actual healing, well that’s all you. Peg Ruppert is here to share with us the hope and possibilities there are to thrive. She especially wants to share steps to help recover yourself fully post divorce.
About 37% of US marriages end in divorce. While that is actually lower than I guessed it still happens, and it’s still painful. You don’t hear about too many carefree, happy marriages deciding to call it quits. Quite unexpectedly, Peg has become something of an expert. She took her corporate work and applied it to the personal arena. Voila! This huge pivot of rediscovering yourself has become her passion as she looks to help those who want to do more than survive, those who want to do the work, and thrive.
You can find Peg through her website Rediscover You Post Divorce or on Instagram at Thrive Post Divorce.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What happens when you don’t want the change that’s coming? That’s how it was for Aubrey Liesz. Her husband of 10 years wanted out of the marriage but she didn’t. She fought the good fight for the sake of their three daughters to no avail. Aubrey has had to gather strength she didn’t know she had to navigate the biggest change so far. And with three impressionable girls watching.
During her grief she watched God gather together a group of people, from the different corners of her life, who had her back. They showed up and loved. She, and her girls were being looked after in the most tender of ways. Receiving wasn’t so easy at first but now she gets why it is so necessary to allow others to care. Aubrey learned you need to ask.
Determined is definitely an accurate word to describe Sarah Harbut’s conviction to be an author. She can remember when she was a young girl thinking she would grow up to write, and not just for pleasure, but to actually be an author. First a lot of life got in the way. Sarah returned to the passion that was there all along, and is self-publishing her first book, Less Fear, More Fire. I like that she called it her first book because it’s clear she’s determined to write more.
Sarah has been influenced by Steve Harvey’s Jump philosophy. Identify your gift then take the jump and share it. It’s worth the risk because otherwise how will you know what might have been. This way of thinking is right up the Unabashed You message. And maybe that’s why we were led to Sarah. She’s reminding us to minimize the fear and to take the fire within us, harness the power of it, and use it for good. Just like she has.
You can find Sarah at her website: Sarah Harbut Writes and on Instagram: Less Fear, More Fire.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What if you’re bad at change? What if it’s hard for you? Well if you’re Micah Burog, you lean into your people where you feel safe and can get the support you need. Cuz change can be hard, even painful, yet sometimes it can be filled with joy and excitement. Like choosing to say yes to getting married. That’s where Micah is at with a big marital pivot coming up.
We’re learning from our guests that a pivot takes some work, some strategizing. Also the acceptance that this change may likely prepare you for something coming your way that isn’t quite here yet. That was an insight Micah had. All that she’s been through prepared her for right now. She couldn’t be happier, and it was well worth the work and the wait. She had a hunch, and she was right.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
She likes to do something that scares her, just a little bit, every day. This week’s guest, Kelly Robinson, noticed she was stuck in the comfort zone. Going to networking events was challenging as she hung out at the cheese table, not really wanting to take the risk and walk up to a stranger to introduce herself. What did they think? Was she bothering them? She decided it was time to get over it. So she did. That’s where the choice do things differently changed her life completely.
It really can be the small steps that add up to big changes over time. There are several best-selling books on that very topic so it must be a thing. Kelly gets it. She started a podcast, and she’s expanding her real estate business to Miami. While those are bigger things they took small steps to realize. Grateful for all of it, you will no longer find her just hanging at the cheese table. She’ll be connecting with others, finding out how they turned their missteps into progress because she’s curious, empathetic and relational.
You can find Kelly on her website Kelly Robinson New York or on Instagram Kelly Robinson.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What do you want? And is it okay to want what you want? Two excellent, and telling, questions to ask yourself. They were both posed by this week’s guest, Andrew Gumm. As he has gotten older he has realized how much healthier it is to curb the people-pleasing and to find out what he wants, what he values, what is of importance to him. It makes sense to me. What would your answers be?
If you find yourself having to pivot, or choosing to make a big change, like moving, Andrew shares it’s better to be open-hearted, to be curious as you experience the newness, the differentness of your situation. Don’t retreat for there are lessons to be learned, life to be lived, relationships to be cultivated, new challenges to be tackled. And the sense of having met all of this will, no doubt, leave you with a deep sense of triumph. So go ahead. Throw yourself into it.
Andrew is a friend of the show and can be heard on the following: If Anything, Be Kind and Making Merry with Andrew and Greg.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
It’s a great question and one we might all want to consider putting into practice. To combat her tendency to overthink, Taylor Conde-Nau has started asking herself if she should really care about this thing she keeps rolling around in her mind so much, whatever it might be. It’s a way to slow down the thought process and to keep things in perspective.
Her last name may sound familiar. She is my daughter. Taylor recently moved back to Southern California after living in Georgia where she, and her then husband, tried to make a go of things. It didn’t work and at the age of 22 she is home. I appreciate her commitment to learn from what she’s been through while using logical self-talk. And I was pleased she wanted to share some of her thoughts during a difficult time. May something you heard here today inspire you.
You can find Taylor on Instagram at Taylor on IG.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Have you considered you were divinely called for a specific purpose? That became Jen Poulson’s passion: to inspire people to experience their own ‘awakening,’ and to find their individual ‘soul calling.’ It’s become her work, guiding clients to discover why they are here, and what they are going to do about it.
First though, you need to heal from past hurts so you can believe you are as valuable as you actually are. Jen has found great fulfillment in helping clients get to the root of issues, working through them so healing can take place. Then the negative self-talk can be replaced with positive affirmations you can state, and know to be true. You now believe it. Finally.
You can reach Jen jenpoulson.com,
jenpoulson@gmail.com, or on Instagram @jenpoulson. The link to A Year in Miracles.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
“Yes, I’d love to help you celebrate your one-year anniversary!” That’s what I said when friend, Michele, asked me to to be on her podcast, Asking for a Friend. What is it I keep reading on social media? ‘Empowering women empower women.’ There are so many variations of this same thought out there. It’s reality that we don’t have to compete. Michele and I each have a podcast and likely share some of the same demographic yet we lift each other up, share notes, and make each other better whenever possible.
Being an introvert I find it fascinating that I can be a talker when we hit on a subject I am passionate about. Actually it’s more than a subject. It’s a reality. A way of thinking of things. A way of life. That’s one of the things I like about being a women who is eager to help other women. (Along with the men in my life too!) Face your fear; find courage to embrace confidence. Do it scared if you need to. Find people who lift you up and do the same for them.
Here’s Michele’s podcast: Asking for a Friend.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
You take a late bloomer, full of hope and promise. She falls in love at a dinner party and next comes the desire to become a family, and to have children. Sometimes it goes smoothly, easily, and sometimes there are unexpected twists and turns. For Nina Cowan, she got the unexpected kind. Fertility issues. IVF. A miscarriage, a stillbirth and a broken heart.
As you’ll hear Nina was eventually able to birth a daughter who is the light of her life. Spunk and all. After the wild ride Nina endured she felt it her sweet duty to help others who are going through the same kinds of things. She became a fertility coach. Nina wants to be there for those who need her and for each woman to know, you are not alone.
You can find Nina at BrookHaven Coaching.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
She was a corporate junkie for twenty years who went rogue about a year ago. Sim Colaco made a big change when she decided she wanted to become a health and wellness coach. She has a heart to serve women in particular who are struggling with skin issues, specifically psoriasis. Sim knows all too well about this autoimmune disorder first-hand. Who better to help than someone who has been there.
It’s the grit and resilience Sim developed along this path that caused her to choose a holistic approach that was better for her. Now she’s created the EASE, or ease method of eating mindfully, attitude matters, stress/how to manage it, and exercise as therapy all ways she instills a whole body approach to minimizing symptoms and maximizing good health. Who doesn’t want that.
You can find Sim on Instagram at The Psoriasis Circle.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I had the pleasure to be a guest on Beautiful Second Act podcast in March with Patti Diener. We’re sharing the episode here for you to enjoy.
“Rechelle from Unabashed You, shares on today's episode how she values more than anything authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability. Key components to having an honest relationship with others, as well as yourself.
‘It's only through daring to be vulnerable that we can begin to be our best selves,’ says Rechelle.
On this episode, we talk about living a third act, what it means to live our passion with purpose, and how we've all been given different gifts to use in this life.”
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Small petal, big flower energy. That is how Kassidy Rae Broome describes her biggest passion. The world can be hard. She wants to be able to be vulnerable, like a petal while also being strong like the entire whole flower. Both at the same time. I found Kassidy to be insightful as she has given the depth of this life tremendous thought. And all this by the age of 25.
Being drawn to stories with strong female characters who figure out they do have what it takes within themselves, I believe Kassidy also has this strength. As she says she has seen some dark days. Kassidy needed all those different experiences to get to where she is today. She has made a point to see the good, to take the free will she’s been gifted, and to focus on the positive.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
She likes people who are authentic, who have gone through a challenge and come out the other side, all the better for having gone through it. - an opportunity for growth. That’s Ellen Burgan, Confidence and Joy Coach, this week’s guest. And if you’ve been listening to this podcast then you know that kind of talk is right up my alley. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to Ellen on Instagram. Kindred spirits and all that.
After 30 years in the business world, having raised children who are now independent, as Ellen put it, she was not ready to get out her knitting needles just yet. Of course that’s a playful way to say she still wanted to do something, something of service. And that is what she has done. Ellen listened to the nudges and found her way into doing the thing she loves doing. Coaching others into confidence and joy.
You can find Ellen on Instagram at Confidence and Joy Coach.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
“I do what I want.” Trish Boaz has come a long way from losing herself during the busy years of raising kids, and working for a non-profit. Since retiring and moving back to her hometown she has made herself a priority. She’s made a point to ‘under-extend’ her obligations, so she can focus on inside development, back to what is important: herself.
With good years behind her she’s in the sweet spot of retirement, enjoying her time out in nature, which is the place she basks in, learns from, and leans into. And there is the joy of family and friends. Trish wonders about important things like how she can spread love one person at a time, and how to encourage others to get back to themselves. Be your first love. Let’s start there.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Little did she know a failed exam would change the course of her life. Or more to the point, choosing and being vulnerable to share she had failed, opened a whole new avenue to support others. Bryn Young is a licensed architect who has built a business helping people pass the arduous six exams required for licensure. She took a hard thing and made it good.
I want to be sure to share Bryn and I are related. In technical terms she’s my stepdaughter and in more loving terms she’s one of our kids. It’s been my pleasure to watch her become the woman she is. She’s seen me go through hard things and we’ve gone through some together. That’s the thing. You don’t know what the hard parts will teach you, and how it will help you speak life into others. Accepting a setback, learning from it, and doing the work will likely bring you to a new mindset: a gentle, positive, affirming way to see things, and to see yourself. This, and more, is what Bryn is about. Listen to what you are saying to yourself, about yourself.
“Keep going, you will be all right,” is the advice My Linh would give her 10-year old self if she could. Having experienced trauma in her early years, My Linh understands anxiety all too well. She has learned to give herself permission on the hard days, and to accept the entire journey as part of who she is with no judgment. Normalizing this fear is now part of her message to others. (My Linh’s previous episode is She Likes to Motivate People to TRY.)
The biggest takeaway? My Linh wants us all to know there is always someone to help you the way you need it. If we can’t find it we need to look somewhere else. Many fears are worth facing and getting a handle on so keep doing the work, it’s important because you are important. Don’t you want more? And let’s hope My Linh writes her book. She has depth and value to share with a unique and personal perspective. I’ll be first in line to purchase it.
You can find My Linh at The Asian Anxiety Coach.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
He’s inspired by anyone who lives authentically. That’s Brandon Rice, this week’s guest. I could have spoken to him for hours. It turns out we have many of the same philosophies. Brandon wants to become his best self, and he wants to encourage others to do the same. That should sound familiar. The tattoo he has that says “courage” on his left forearm is a reminder of its Latin meaning “heart” as in follow your heart, and that is exactly what Brandon is doing.
As Brandon shared, negativity is a perception. That’s why everything is always working out for him. It’s all in how you view it. Positive thoughts bring positive results while negative thoughts bring negative results. That’s the law of attraction. There definitely are ways to shift how we see things, to learn from the hard things so we can move on better than before. I know just what he means - become who you already are.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Laura Wakefield is yet another woman who chooses to live fully. She even coined the word “joyfulicity” to express the way she approaches life. She believes what her dad taught her - approach life with childlike curiosity, be excited about it, and look for the good. Laura is all about it.
While life didn’t go exactly as she planned, this single mother of nine has learned the value of a good pivot. It means changing course just a bit and continuing onward. As Laura shares in her favorite quote “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.” (Vivian Greene)
You can find Laura on Instagram at joyfulicity.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I thoroughly enjoyed the time spent with this week’s guest, Shannon Ziolkowski. Not only is she kind and thoughtful, I learned a lot about sun-protected clothing. She works at Coolibar. The name “coolibar” is a tree found in Australia that offers shade. We met because I emailed the company asking them if they would soon be offering additional colors of a jogger pant I like. They actually responded. Really, how often does that happen anymore? Enter, Shannon. We struck up an email chat that resulted in a Zoom call request to talk more about my thoughts regarding their products. Now that is outstanding customer service. I can get behind a company like that. One that goes above and beyond what is expected. In other words, a commitment to excellence.
Before our chat, I did not know our day-to-day clothing offers such little sun-protection. There are many who have conditions that make it challenging to enjoy activities the rest of us take for granted. And that’s a quality-of-life issue. I feel compelled to help share their message. I am grateful this company exists and is committed to creating clothing that allows you to enjoy your time outside while keeping you protected from sun damage. Thanks Coolibar.
If you change the way you see things then the things you see will change. That is the philosophy today’s guest, Patti Diener lives. It took her a lifetime to realize how critical self care was to every part of her life. She had not seen herself as any kind of priority. Shifting perspective, paying attention to intention, made a world of difference for Patti.
Now Patti mentors others. She has the podcast, Beautiful Second Act, in which she encourages others to live their best lives now especially if they haven’t before. It’s never too late to be more you, to find more joy, to find your purpose, explore your passion. It’s either exactly where you are, stuck in some old habits that don’t serve you anymore, or it’s something better, something more. Ask. Believe. Receive.
You can find Patti at:
Website: beautiful second act
Instagram: beautiful second act
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Here’s the thing. I learn from every single person we have on, and Jessica Stoeckeler, this week’s guest, is no exception. Becoming a mom she saw a need for clean products and joined a company that embraces that philosophy. A self-described stressed-out person, Jessica sought relief with CBD products and found another company that has the integrity she values. She shares both while working full-time and having a family. The power to choose, and become a part of things we believe in. That’s Jessica.
I know I for one needed to hear how Jessica manages her time. She has a lot of responsibilities and to attend to those well she needs a system that will help get her there. The takeaways for me: 3 things to get done each day, certain days for certain tasks, and timed blocks on the calendar. More structure. More accountability. More productivity. And that’s not a bad thing if you balance it with the other important things in your life. Ask Jessica. She knows.
You can find Jessica at Jessica on Instagram.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Here is someone else I met through Instagram, Karen-Marie Gariba. We made ourselves a nice connection and here we are. Karen-Marie has quite a geographical story. As you will hear, she is from Scotland. She made her way to Canada via Hong Kong, and her husband is from Africa. How is that for an international life? She does have a love for the nations.
Karen-Marie has written a book, Goodbye Singleness. She was thoughtful in sending me a copy and I will get reading it, pronto. It details her time being single and how her faith brought her and her husband together. I loved when he told her, I really like you. It was sweet and unexpected. She didn’t get it at first then she did. Now it’s been 19 years of marriage, and one son. Life is good indeed.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We had David Crisp’s wife on last week. BA Crisp. And I have to tell you how we met because it’s extraordinary. David wrote me an email sharing with me how wonderful is wife is, how she has survived more things than most of us go through in a lifetime, and how she is now a published author. Would I consider having her on as a guest? The letter contained exactly the things I love: it was authentic, transparent and vulnerable. Of course I said yes.
When I asked David to be a guest, he was hesitant. He explained he is about being the support behind the scenes. As I see it, everyone has a story, and I already was grateful for his. The love he has for his wife. Then the email she got circled in on, and the effusive appreciation she had for him reaching out to me. Truly a beautiful thing. I’m so glad I got a peek into the love they have for each other. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
In case you didn’t know, the BA stands for “Beautiful Angelina” a nickname her husband gave her when he said “Angelina” was just a bit too long, looking for a term of endearment. Well, it stuck and good for her because BA Crisp is the name she uses as the bestselling author of Red Bird and X Point. She has lived a lot of lives in this one.
Having been a foster child, BA is quick to point out she is not a victim. She didn’t just survive, she thrives. BA kept to the idea that she would never quit no matter what, (there were lots of those), that all things were possible. She believed it, it sustained her, and brought her to where she is today. Wife, mom, author, advocate. And anything else she wants.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
This was really sweet. Our 10-year old grandson and Ron were talking about the UY podcast as it was playing while the two of them were in the car together. Van seemed quite intrigued with the notion that his “Mimi” did this, and that it had guests from all over the world. He expressed interest in being a guest himself. Why not? He had the courage to want to do this new thing. I admire that.
Van is in the 5th grade. Since I taught that grade for many years, this is extra special for me. It brought back great memories. And of course Van loves Star Wars which my former students did, I do, as it seems to bridge all generation gaps. He may not be ready for the romance part of storytelling, we all know that will come. Meanwhile he is quite content to put all his attention into scientists, and their discoveries. While he might not have fleshed out all his thoughts just yet, he’s got a ways to go and I, for one, will be on the sidelines cheering him on.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Ron and I met Carisa Santana through her brother Brian. Brian has been on this show before in Be Your Authentic Self, episode 79 . During our annual trip to Maui we went to hear him play at Maui Brewing Co. (Delicious food by the way.) Little did we know that his sister, Carisa, would be performing with him. What a pleasure to listen to the beauty of their voices together. It was magical. Now here I am having my own conversation with Carisa. It was a joy.
Carisa is a gifted songwriter, singer and performer. It seems to run in the family. How great is it that her brother inspires her? I got a lump in my throat when she expressed why. While she keeps a private side, sharing with those she trusts, she also loves listening to all kinds of people. She is genuinely interested, and will ask questions to get to know those she is having a conversation with. That usually happens at the gigs she plays. Starting from a very young age music has always been in her life.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
What a delight it was to have a conversation with fellow podcaster, Michele Folan. Her show is Asking for a Friend, and it targets women 50+ with subjects and guests that would be of more interest to them. Since I’m in that audience I wanted to have her on and chat. It turns out we have a lot in common. We both think the Enneagram is a helpful personality tool, we are a part of blended families, and she thinks Bridesmaids is funny no matter how many times she’s seen it.
We are hearing more and more about the importance of making sure you take care of yourself. “Put your oxygen mask on first before you can show up for others,” shared Michele. Since we’re hearing it so much maybe it is something we should pay attention to. It makes perfect sense to me. I also related to Michele’s need to have a creative outlet, following that desire, seeing it through, and putting it out there. We need you all to do the same.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Listen to the rhythm of his given name, Destino Rubiani, and his stage name is T-Bone Rube. That just begins to describe the singularity of this energetic, happy individual. We connected through Instagram and I could see in two-dimensions the vibrancy and passion of T-Bone. We talked about his dedication to Frankie Valli, and his love for the music of that time doo-wop, pop, rock ’n roll, and soul.
I enjoyed Rocky, the French bulldog, bellowing in the background. T-Bone was able to give him attention while seamlessly sharing his unbridled passion for the projects that have captured his life. He’s parlayed his love of the Four Seasons, that started as a child, into different ventures to celebrate the legacy, and to pay homage. Plus he likes the Beatles too, especially John Lennon. I think it’s inspiring to follow the things you love. T-Bone is doing exactly that.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We are hungry for connection. Jennifer Tamman is right about that. A lot of people are drowning in loneliness and could use the power of being with others. Yet how do we get there? Start where you are. Start with the people nearby. We are all looking for things that bring us joy, ways to connect. And we want to be a part of a community that gets us as we are, our authentic selves, accepted and loved. So start showing up as that. You.
Her emphasis on self-care needs to be far better woven into the priorities of our lives. “You can’t pour from an empty pot” she reminds us. I like that Jen is focused on being well. Doing all the things you can before you become ill or afflicted with a health concern. What drew me to her was the light she has in showing up on Instagram encouraging us to make positive choices that will benefit us. Jen shares in fun, informative ways. Whether it be simple, better food choices or simple habits we can easily incorporate into our lives. Jen is the_healthyish_scientist.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
It was lovely to have Micah Burog back on the show. (She was with us once before in Am I Making a Difference? Episode 61.) As I’ve mentioned previously, my time in children’s theater was very fulfilling, working with creative, enthusiastic, and kind people like Micah was a big part of that. I’m happy to hear she is pursuing a career in eduction. She will thrive. In this conversation we talked a bit about Christmas. Then I asked what were her takeaways from 2022, and what does she see for 2023.
It turns out 2021 was a tough year for Micah as it was for many of us. Her phrase for that year was ‘intentional impact.’ For 2022 she went with ‘release and embrace’ which is a positive way to make the best out of what comes your way. And as she shared with us the phrase she will likely carry into 2023 is ‘pouring.’ This will be pouring into others with love even if she doesn’t know them., and pouring into herself. It’s a very valuable, and healthy choice.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
The goal of this episode was to make merry. And who to help us do that but Andrew Gumm and Greg Henninger. I hired them both as teaching artists for children’s theater back in the day, and they went to college with Shaun. Our connections run deep. Even if I haven’t seen or talked to them in a while, all bets are off when we connect, and it’s like no time has gone by. I cherish them both. To make more merry, they were quizzed on some Christmas movie quotes, and then some questions around Christmas.
We actually ran out of time. Maybe you could tell we could have kept going for many hours to come. Hopefully you are as entertained as we clearly were. Whether we’re talking about the merits, or lack of them for My Favorite Things as a Christmas song, or whether The Twelve Days of Christmas has too many birds, we covered as much as we could. For those things we will be pondering, we’ve got our work cut out for us to look into them and then we’ll come back and share our findings. Collaborating is fulfilling. When you can come together and be more than you could have been on your own, it’s simply the best. Just like these two.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
It’s Christmas time. Why not invite Shaun to a conversation about something we both like. Christmas movies. We randomly found a list of the top 20 of all time and went from there. Some on the list were obvious, It’s a Wonderful Life, Love Actually, A Muppet Christmas Carol, and other more recent ones didn’t make the cut like, The Family Stone and The Holiday. There were the earlier ones which I look on fondly, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, It’s a Charlie Brown Christmas. Not so much for Shaun. His nostalgia is for when he was growing up. Makes sense. It’s like a Venn diagram. His, mine and the ones we both like in the middle like Daddy’s Home 2.
Then there is the newest contender, Spirited. It’s a musical with Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds. My bar for this was so low it was on the ground. Not sure why, no offense to either actor. Maybe it was it being yet another Christmas Carol adaption. Turns out it was better than I expected and I really did enjoy it. Shaun hasn’t seen it yet but he’s added it to the list of the ones he wants to watch. And I said I’d checkout the sequel to a Christmas Story. Who knows, I may add another to my annual viewing list.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I was recently asked to have Doug Peacock on the UY show. (He is this week’s Thankful and Giving Back guest.) I said yes as long as Doug could show up and share as opposed to pitch. There’s a difference and it matters to me. I think there is a way to talk about your passion without leaving the audience feeling like they’ve listened to one long ad. Doug, known most of his life as ‘coach’ has enthusiasm and drive. That much is evident. First it was football, and now its infinite banking.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around all the things Doug shared. How do banks make money? Rate of investment vs. rate of return. Likely it will take some time to process and some conferring with those whose opinions I look up to (Ron, Dave, Kelly). I appreciate how committed he is to this newer way of wanting to help himself and others. He’s got the heart of a coach all right.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Bijou Mushengezi Lucas is a woman who wears many hats. One of them is a philanthropic endeavor to help the women and children in Congo receive the support they need. It’s called Moseka Action Project. We got to know her some in Doing Everything with a Good Heart, episode 74, and today’s she’s back to tell us more about Moseka. She’s this week’s Thankful and Giving Back guest.
She brings up a good point about forgiveness. It is hard but not as hard as it is to let go. If you don’t it will stay in your mind and take up energy. It is far better, for you in particular, to release it. You don’t have control of the situation other people created, but you sure have the ability not to hold on to it. It’s not productive. It doesn’t serve you. Just ask Bijou. She knows.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Many people like to surf, sky, swim, dive, along with other past-times that are done in water. Spending time there is not without its risks. There have been many rescues done and many have lived to tell the harrowing tale. Of course that is not always the case. What about their loved ones, the ones left behind? Fallen Waterman’s Foundation was created to support the families of watermen, and women, with counseling and scholarships. It was founded by Mark Hanley and he is today’s Thankful and Giving Back guest.
“Never let a swell go by” is more than a literal surfing philosophy. As Mark shared it is a figurative expression too. Don’t get so bogged down in the details of your day-to-day that you miss the things that are coming your way. They are there for you to seize, to enjoy, and to help others with. I am grateful Mark took advantage of the swell that came his way and is now serving the fallen watermen and women. It’s his passion, a way to give back.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Shaun is back to answer Thanksgiving trivia questions for the Thankful and Giving Back series we are in this month. Like do you know how long the first Thanksgiving lasted? Or which Christmas song was supposed to be sung on Thanksgiving Day? This round is very entertaining with guaranteed chuckles.
Whether in the US or not, we can be still to notice all the many gifts around us. I like that Shaun brought that up as a conversation point. Are you currently keeping a list, a journal or verbal record of the simple pleasures that each day brings? If you start it will change your life.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
The Comfort Cub was created by Marcella Johnson. It is a therapeutic teddy bear originally designed to help grieving mothers and now it has become so much more. The sweet bear has made its way into the arms of many women, men and children to support them in loss, trauma, depression, and anxiety. Marcella is our guest today for Thankful and Giving Back.
As much as I thought I knew about the Comfort Cub before this conversation, I learned more about the additional benefits of holding the bear as shared by Marcella. I think it’s astounding that a simple thing can reap such rewards. I have my own and I have ordered them for people in need. I know that little guy is a comfort. Wherever there is pain there is a hug just a bear away.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Our new series, Thankful land Giving Back, begins today with Kathryn Mae Inman. We just finished our conversation and I am basking in our natural connection. Turns out Kathryn is a kindred spirit in that she is committed to living a life that is authentic, transparent and vulnerable. She has done so by surviving, and now thriving, after her son’s heroin addiction. Kathryn wants to share in the hopes it may help one other. Or more.
She wrote Counting Spoons: A Memoir of Heroin, Heartache and Hope, her son Justin helped. I’ve just ordered it. I am drawn to her story, her ability to endure well. It took some hard times to get her there and now she gets how critical it is to show up as the sum of her experiences plus all that she’s learned along the way. As she can attest, it’s the hard times that make you who you are. That and her faith.
Kathryn’s website: kathrynminman.com.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I asked Shaun to come back to the show to have a conversation about a health challenge he has had for the past few years. Chronic digestive issues along with brain fog has made Shaun’s life difficult to say the least. And to watch from the sidelines knowing there is very little I can actually do, is a source of constant heartache. They say ‘a mom is only as happy as her least happy kid’ and on some level I have to agree.
I’ve accepted my lot as cheerleader, head encourager, while asking questions to keep the brainstorming going. (What is the latest? What does that doctor say? What does the other doctor say? Is there a new plan? What about the Mayo Clinic?) He’s been to many doctors, tried many meds, supplements, etc. It’s definitely a ‘wait and see’ kind of a thing and proving very hard to keep the hope alive. Of course my despair pales in comparison to what Shaun actually lives day in and day out. No restaurants, no enjoying family meals, eating four foods and four foods only: poultry, white rice, cooked carrots and peeled cucumber. Oy vey. Sometimes I wonder why the answer is ’no’ to the healing prayers I send up. And yes, I’m aware some people have it worse. I’m sad for them too.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Sometimes you need to pivot. Hillary and I planned two more assessments yet she came down with the same cold her kids did, and lost her voice. No problem. I figured we had covered quite a bit with the six tools we managed to explore: Myers-Briggs, 5 Love Languages, Enneagram, Spiritual Gifts, Emotional Intelligence and The Animal in You. Learned a ton. Feel more expanded in who I understand myself to be.
A big thanks to Hillary for being the co-host these past six weeks. Always entertaining, always the real deal. Thanks for being you - someone I think the world of, and am all too delighted to do a slice of life with.
With a couple more weeks before we head into November and a new series, I called upon Shaun, the pinch-hitter man. Of course he was game to help out. We covered one of his passions, VoiceOver work (wait for his Alan Rickman, Christopher Walken, and Owen Wilson - priceless!) along with a round of rapid-fire questions from Elfster-blog. We decided to skip one question in particular as we both found it a bit mean-spirited. Again, we didn’t write the questions.
It is deeply satisfying to know you have certain people in your corner and no matter what the need is, they will do their all to help you get there. Thanks Shaun for sharing who you are with us, once again.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
After some more serious exploration, we thought it would be fun to look at a popular personality test called The Animal in You https://animalinyou.com. Playful, whimsical and with just 10 questions, it is an easy assessment to do. The results yield the selection of an animal, the animal in you. Get it? There are 50 possibilities and of course they all have particular characteristics. Over 22 million people have taken it.
As you can tell we enjoyed our conversation. While I don’t see myself as an eagle, with all the daring, risky outdoor activities, I did like being described as having “an infectious joie de vivre.” I do see Hillary as an otter stated as small, fun-loving and communicative. And finicky? Nope, I’d say discerning. There’s a difference.
Which animal are you?
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I’d always wondered about “emotional intelligence” as in what exactly does that mean. In recent years we started hearing that phrase - a lot. Turns out it was coined in 1990 by two psychology professors who wrote a book about it. The concept took off. Hillary and I decided to take a deeper look to see how we rated on this scale. The one we used is https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/ei-quiz.ht.
We appreciate how this tool was broken down and organized. Easy to use, easy to go back and refer to. (Remember we both score high in administration.) The five characteristics of self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills supported what Hillary and I knew, giving it words, making it clearer. It also pointed out areas we want to grow in, definitely. All this as a way to better understand ourselves. It matters who you are because you need to show up as exactly that. For you. For me. For us.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Here we go with another assessment tool to help us figure ourselves out. We’re looking at spiritual gifts in this episode. You may not know what these are. They are thought to be helpful in determining how you have been crafted as a human being. The ‘gifts’ cover categories like leadership, administration, wisdom, and also more faith-based ones like faith, serving, and mercy. I believe anyone would benefit from taking a look at this assessment although clearly it is designed for those of the Christian faith.
We are committed to encouraging all people regardless of how they identify spiritually, and if they don’t. No matter what, we want you to show up in your life fully you. And not feel apologetic about it! You’re here to do the thing only you can do so let’s be sure we know ourselves well enough to do exactly that.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Today we are looking at the assessment tool the enneagram. It is a system that includes 9 different personality types. Through a series of questions, patterns emerge so you can see yourself more clearly, how you navigate the world and how you feel about it. The one we like is https://www.yourenneagramcoach.com. It can be a useful tool to help you understand the why of who you are. What I like about theirs was it breaks down the nine types by percentages according to how you answered. We have all nine types within us, some are simply more dominant than others.
Finding out your predominant number, or numbers in some cases, leaves a blend of intrigue, affirmation, wondering, and “uh-oh” along with a thirst for further info. I get it. You find out about your strengths but also your weaknesses too. That’s where the “uh-oh” comes in. Don’t you want to be empowered when it comes to showing up in your own life? It takes information to do that well.
See past episode 17: ‘Rachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey’ to hear Erin Sur, Life and Enneagram Coach. To make it fun she used the cast of Friends to go through the numbers and added a few other notable people to make up the nine different personality types.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Today we are looking at the assessment tool the 5 Love Languages at https://5lovelanguages.com. The site has subcategories of Romantic, Friendships, Family and Workplace so you don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to find it helpful. This info is for you, about you.
While this assessment started as a tool for romantic relationships, it is clear it can be used across the board. The Five Love Languages is a 1992 book by Gary Chapman. It outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Physical touch
Acts of service
Receiving gifts
Hillary and I both agreed the 5 love languages has value. Once again it’s a way to understand what makes you, you. The better you know yourself, the more likely you are to have a healthy self-concept, and have meaningful relationships with those who are in your life. And if you want to share your own findings let me know. I would find it fascinating to hear how this was for you. I love connecting!
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Learning more about myself, or ‘becoming who I already am’ has given me increased understanding, compassion and confidence. I am more patient with myself. I am way less apologetic and more prone to embrace the parts of me I like, and even the parts I don’t. It all makes me, me. I want to share and encourage you to do the same.
“Explore More of You” Is the new series that starts today. We are going to look at some assessment tools to help us understand ourselves better. We may even discover some things we didn’t already know ,or some things we’ve long wondered about.
We know there are fellow executives and protagonists out there who can relate to each of our results along with the other types found through this tool. The idea is to get to know yourself better. It will help you, your relationships, and how you move through life. Isn’t that a good thing?
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Melissa Bollea Rowe is our final Insta Summer 2 partner for this series. Melissa is about many things and wants to share them out of a place of goodwill. She is first and foremost a songwriter. Next she went through some tough times that brought her to three words that she “practices” every day. It changed her life.
I think it’s fascinating Melissa continues to parlay her passions into many different avenues like writing a book, with a second project coming soon, and writing the score for a movie that will hopefully help a lot of kids learn. Plus she understands the value of time, how precious it is, and how sharing it with someone else really is the ultimate gift. Who will you give to today?
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
She’s been through a very dark season of wondering if she wanted to be alive anymore to a radical transformation, listening to a speaker that she was sure was speaking directly to her. Everything changed overnight. Helen CD Jamieson is our Insta Summer 2 guest this week. Helen shares all about the major health challenge she had as a teenager that ended up being more pivotal for her life than she could have thought possible.
Now Helen wants to make a difference. She loves to engage and encourage as a way to give back. Doing so is her assignment in this life and it is deeply rooted in her faith. Helen wants to do whatever is possible to impart the hope she has. Sharing the good things and the bad things inspires us all to be who we really are. Fully. Ask Helen. She knows.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I am drawn to people that choose to be authentic regardless of what the rest of us may think. Such is the case with Crystal Guenter our InstaSummer 2 guest today. She has learned through trial and error that the way to be is the way she already is. No people-pleasing or trying to be all things to all people. It doesn’t work and will leave you feeling miserable. Better to be fully who God created you to be.
Crystal feels at home in the Mennonite way of life. It’s a way to ‘act out’ her faith. I love that she’s made a choice that’s good for her. Through being modest and conservative Crystal honors her beliefs. And she’s learned a lot about filling the voids left by people who did the very best they could but left us lacking. It’s not our fault but it is now our responsibility to find a way to fill them with healthy things. It is freeing to get to that place. Just ask Crystal. She knows.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Have you been to Belgium? Do you know much about the small country? Joane Wallet is today’s Insta Summer 2 guest and she’s happy to fill you in. Joane does this on social media, particularly Instagram. My Sweet Belgium, in both English and French, is where she shares the sights, and history, of her native land. The pandemic left her with loads of free time to explore and learn all about where she already was.
Don’t you love her giggle? In our conversation Joane highlighted mental health along with those willing to speak publicly about it as part of their personal journey. It needs to be normalized, and the stigma removed, for sure. I also like the wisdom she keeps handy in treating yourself as you would treat your best friend. It’s a nice twist in reminding us to be good to ourselves.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Where to begin with today’s Insta Summer 2 guest, Thomas McBee? Shall I start with how our conversation inspired me, or that I like what he’s about? Thomas is fascinated with how things work, including himself. He believes we’re all connected and that we need to lead by example.
Thomas is becoming wise, not only through his life experiences, but also in reading books that assist in his commitment to personal development. However you describe that process, the bottom line is wanting to learn about yourself, reflecting and incorporating the knowledge into becoming who you already are. Sound familiar?
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We’re starting Insta Summer 2 today. It’s a series featuring people we’re connecting with on Instagram. We did this last summer too. There are good parts to social media and getting to know new people is one of them.
Christina Lim is a jewelry artist and designer who decided to follow her passion no matter what, after a stint in the corporate world. She claimed “inizi” or “beginnings” in Italian when she took a leap of faith. Christina wanted to follow, “See where things take you when you’re being you.”
(Thanks in advance for your patience as we navigated a few audio issues during our conversation.)
Many of us would agree when you are doing something you love it doesn’t feel like work at all. Christina’s choice to work late into the night when things are quiet works for her well, and maybe it would for you too. Part of the point of this life is to try things and see what feels right. In as much as you’re able, discard the ones that don’t, but keep the ones that do.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Here is something I really like about traveling. You get to see a lot of new things and learn about them, but you also get to connect with people. Anne Rosenberg is one of those people. Anne is friendly. She asked us to lunch on our first day and we hit it off. Full of stories, determination, and fierce loyalty, she is our guest this week for Le Voyage en France.
I respect that Anne doesn’t want to be told what to do. I relate to the statement as I have a streak of that as well. It doesn’t mean we aren’t whole, healthy people, we’re wired to bristle when we feel that intention. And of course you can take anything to the extreme in both directions. I suspect Anne is an Enneagram 8. I like her advice to do a bucket list item each year while you can because things happen. So go to all the places while you can. A solid suggestion, thanks, Anne.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Oh my goodness. How delighted I am to share this conversation between me and today’s Le Voyage en France guest, Magomed Voraev. He was our tour guide in the French Riviera who made going to Monaco for the day simply fantastic or fantastique. He is equal parts warm, engaging, and passionate. Plus he’s downright fun. I will easily remember our time with him as truly memorable and his impact on me as indelible.
Mago is curious. He uses his inquisitive nature to learn about the people he meets. I appreciate his philosophy of “no problems, only solutions” as a way to take something that seems insurmountable and break into steps that even his 5-year old daughter, Rose, understands and can do. And his take on “being free” includes the responsibilities of being a business owner, a husband and a father. He simply likes being outside, meeting new people, and working with love to make them happy. Impressive indeed.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Camille Dernis is our Le Voyage en France guest today. She’s a cruise director with Amawaterways and we were fortunate to have her on our recent cruise down the Rhone from Lyon to Avignon. She is a delightful individual! Camille pays attention to detail and and is very personable. You feel like you are taking a trip with a good friend. Her love for travel is contagious and it is clear she enjoys her job.
All the moving Camille’s done began her love for new places, new faces and to look for the “Wow!” moments in life. Then to take those and share them with others. Isn’t that the ultimate? To take in the landscape, the history, the beauty, have the adventure, all the while connecting with other people along the way. Sounds like a good chapter to me! And it doesn’t have to be far. Visiting a town nearby, one you don’t go to often, can make for a worthwhile outing. Where’s your next trip going to be?
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Bruce Rosenberg is today’s guest. We met him, and his wife Anne, when they invited us to lunch on the very first day in Lyon as we were all enjoying the town before we embarked on the ship. It was a lovely outing and we all became fast friends. Bruce and I share a deep love of movies and TV shows. I appreciate how Bruce looks at things and also the depth of his character. Is it any wonder I would invite him onto the show?
It was a delight having this conversation with Bruce. I learned more about how he looks at the stories told in movies and TV that can become life lessons, how he admires both Kennedy and Einstein, and the importance of really knowing yourself. And yes, you can reinvent yourself at any time. He’s my kind of guy.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We begin our Le Voyage en France series today. In English, the trip to France. Now that Ron and I are empty nesters, we’re ready to travel. Today’s guest volunteered to help us navigate our first big trip. Kathy Klage is a woman who came into my life when I was a teenager so, young and impressionable. I paid attention to her love of life and her sense of adventure. I invited her on the show as she is an avid traveler having done so for work and pleasure.
Kathy gave us some good tips like saying basic phrases in the language of the country you are visiting. It shows we are thoughtful. “Thank you” is a gracious way to receive a compliment even if we don’t agree with it. And I love the simplicity of “Remember who you are” as a seed to plant in our kids and also something for each one of us to remember as well. Thanks, Kathy.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you actually did the thing you really wanted to do? We’ve got Mark Sparrow on the show today to tell us about his own experience with this. Mark set out to reach for a goal and not let fear stop him. He’s a good friend of the show and we had a great conversation about this very topic in Keep Your Dreams Alive, episode 50.
Really, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you went for your dreams? On the one hand it might not come to fruition the way you imagined. Maybe it even fails. Is that really so bad? I bet you’d learn a bunch on the way and then maybe decide to pivot. On the other hand, what if it succeeds and becomes more than you could hope for or imagine. What about that? Mark makes some excellent points about keeping your dreams alive. I hope you feel encouraged to pursue yours. And if we can help in any way, please let us know.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I had the opportunity to be on Molly Mandelberg’s podcast, Tactical Magic. She was a guest on UY I Believe in the Law of Attraction, episode 104. She reached out and proposed we be on each other’s show so we did. I enjoy collaborating. You don’t know what things you may uncover about yourself, or others, through connection. It was a pleasure to talk about what I want for me. What I want for you.
We talked a lot about being yourself and feeling confident to sit fully in that. I know it’s not easy. I believe we spend far too much time wondering what others think and tailor-making who we are to fit into expectations that aren’t actually ours. I think we all do it to a degree perhaps in particular situations or around specific people. My goal for myself, and for you, is to do less wondering, and expand into who you already are, without apology. Sound familiar?
many great people during my 15 years there. People like her. During our conversation, Hillary shared her Grandma Shirley is a great source of inspiration through her example of faith, of insisting upon seeing the good in others, and why Steel Magnolias is one of Hillary’s favorite movies. It’s a well-thought our reason with lots of layers.
Don’t you love that she and her husband Greg got into Legos during the pandemic? Or that they put a jumpy in their garage instead of a car to help their boys get the wiggles out? This shows her playful, creative, innovative side which is usually at the ready. Hillary had insightful nuggets to drop like every day we can change our course. We can do it in our relationships, in our perspective at how we look at things, and in our responsibility for the part we play in our interactions. We can do something about that if we want to. Oh, and if you’re struggling in any way be sure to lean on your people and ask for help. If they are your people they want to be there for you. Because you want to do the same for them.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Where do I begin with today’s Believe guest, Hillary Henninger? I got to know her through children’s theater which is a running theme on the show because I met so many great people during my 15 years there. People like her. During our conversation, Hillary shared her Grandma Shirley is a great source of inspiration through her example of faith, of insisting upon seeing the good in others, and why Steel Magnolias is one of Hillary’s favorite movies. It’s a well-thought our reason with lots of layers.
Don’t you love that she and her husband Greg got into Legos during the pandemic? Or that they put a jumpy in their garage instead of a car to help their boys get the wiggles out? This shows her playful, creative, innovative side which is usually at the ready. Hillary had insightful nuggets to drop like every day we can change our course. We can do it in our relationships, in our perspective at how we look at things, and in our responsibility for the part we play in our interactions. We can do something about that if we want to. Oh, and if you’re struggling in any way be sure to lean on your people and ask for help. If they are your people they want to be there for you. Because you want to do the same for them.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Jenah Kuderman is cool. In every way possible. Her style, her warmth, her deep care for others. I imagine that’s what drew me to her. She was on a lounge chair poolside in the shade with her husband Bryan. We soon got to know them and found we had similar thoughts lots of things including faith. What is true, noble and right - love as the full stop answer to all, and what is not - anything that is not love or keeps people out because of who they are.
This is a longer episode because we went deep in these matters. Remember this, “My identity is not in convincing others that they are wrong.” As said by Mike Erre and I relate to it 100%. This conversation will especially appeal to those who have struggled with feeling like the Christianity they were raised in, or subscribed to, is no longer the one you recognize. Maybe you’ve panned out and made your viewpoint bigger, and bigger still. Or maybe your’e curious about the progression of spirituality in others. I didn’t know Jenah and I were on similar paths of deconstruction until we had this conversation. I sure am glad we did.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Betty Estes and I had a conversation while she was in her home dance studio which I thought was incredible. She says you can get a lot of house in Tennessee! Betty is our Believe guest for today and she had a lot of intriguing thoughts to share. Like remaining faithful even when things are hard. Like why it’s essential to check with others about the facts before you draw conclusions.
We will certainly have hard times in this life. Betty survived her darkest hour. She was broken but would not stay that way. Determined to find the good she continues to look for it in others. That is the only thing she wants to judge. Now she heads into a new chapter of retirement, more dancing, and lots of writing and collaborating. I can’t wait to see it all unfold.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We are entering our third season officially with this episode. You have all made this experience more than I could hope for or imagine. Thank you. Truly thank you…
It was a pleasure reconnecting with today’s guest, Rachael Baciocco. We worked for the same organization several years ago. Now she is a twenty-something woman discovering who she is. Rachael is exploring all the different parts of herself to find out what is true. Part of that is revealed through our relationship with others. Connection and finding your people are paramount. As she says, What do we have in this world except moments with each other?
Like Rachael said, being kind is what matters. Being open is essential to understanding. I like that she is being intentional about what she believes and why she believes it. It’s an important step in adulting to see if the belief-system you were raised with is really your own or not. `She is trying on different things and seeing what aligns with her, keeping what works, and discarding what does not. Along the way she is taking the larger perspective on it all as she focuses on the difference between being our best self and our true self. In my opinion, she’s already there.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We worked together some years ago. I find today’s Believe guest, Scotti Taylor, to be a woman of substance, of wicked determination and unapologetic in being herself. I like that in a person. She’s been on the show before in, I Will not be Silent, episode 33, and Takeaways and Looks Ahead, episode 40. Our conversation covers how outgoing people can actually be introverted and the legacy of a loving grandmother for starters.
I knew I would enjoy connecting with Scotti again. Her answers to the Believe questions happen to be things I whole heartedly agree with. (Even if I didn’t, that’s ok too.) If God knows who we are, either by design or allowance, surely he loves us no matter what. As Scotti pointed out, he does not deny love. When you love someone different from you that’s when you figure out what deep, abiding love is. And isn’t that what all want? To be seen and valued for who we are? Yes please. Let’s do more of that.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Alvin Coda and I met a couple of years ago when my primary doctor recommended him for the annual skin check. So, yes, he’s a dermatologist. What struck me about him from minute-one was his warmth, humor and ease. We even talked about the podcast at that initial appointment and he genuinely seemed interested. He momentarily left the room, came back in and said he had subscribed. How’s that for bedside manner? Fast forward, I’ve been back for appointments, and that initial impression was exactly the same, maybe even more so. Out of his earshot, I commented to his assistant, you must enjoy working with him. And she said, yes, it’s going on five years and I really do.
I went into this conversation with Alvin suspecting I’d be thrilled with the outcome and I am. I relish his 30,000 foot outlook on life in being a good person, doing good things while he is multi-tasking making his wife one of her favorite dinners. And while I may not agree with his choice of Stepbrothers for a favorite movie, I appreciate his rationale for finding depth and beauty in it. I think that’s who he is - passionate, caring and ready to persevere.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
For the show today, we have Taylor Conde-Nau, a guest in our Believe series. Yes, she’s a relation. A daughter. If you’ve been a long-time listener you’ve heard her before in A Crash Course in Adulthood episode 5, and I Did it My Way, episode 54. She has some things to say about pretty privilege which was not a phrase I had heard before. Oh sure, I’ve seen certain people have advantages based on attributes they had little or nothing to do with, but hadn’t heard it from the unique perspective of this 21 year-old.
I admire how this young lady is adulting into a cherished version of herself as she expands into who she is. We need to really understand ourselves before we can embrace who we are. Like her love of horror as a genre and my aversion to it. “It’s all good” as I like to say. Taylor gets to be her own healthy, happy person as do you. And me.
Thank you for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Today’s Believe conversation is with Lindsey Heinrich. We got reacquainted recently and because of our subsequent, fulfilling get-to-know-you conversation I invited her on the show. I am deeply moved by people who show up confident in themselves and create a safe space for you to do the same. Lindsey is such a person. We talk about embracing the imperfect of each person including yourself then offering grace.
I am eager for the collaboration between Lindsey and Betty. The book, The Space Between, sounds very inspirational as it reveals the stories of others in all their beauty and pain. The addition of Lindsey’s art will no doubt be impactful as we ‘feel all the feels’ of the people who dared to share a piece of themselves with us. I know I learn about myself, and this life, by hearing the experiences of others.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Molly and I got connected through Audry, a podcast platform. We met up and decided to do an episode swap at her invitation. I do marvel at how we can connect with others. In this conversation Molly shares some wild experiences she’s had with animals and the belief she has in actualizing the potency of who we are.
I appreciate Molly’s curiosity and desire to dive into the things she finds interesting and that have propelled her into how she is living her life. It brought her to the work she is doing and no doubt, she’s been able to come alongside others to maximize their content and to feel good about who they are. Sounds familiar right?
You can find Molly on Instagram at wild_one_rising.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
She has a strong faith and is not afraid to share it. The emphasis being on love, Rae O’Rourke has been navigating a difficult health diagnosis. She has sought, and learned, quite a bit a long the way. So much so that now she would like to share with others who might need tools and encouragement that have helped her.
I enjoyed reconnecting with Rae. I would say she is the picture of health: radiant, joyful, grateful. Her purpose has become clearer as she merges it with her passion, remembering to have grace for others including herself. And Rae knows hope can get you a long way. Just ask her. She is living proof.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Ok, so today we had some major technical difficulties as the recording between Enitan, who is in a rural village in Nigeria with limited internet access, and me in California. You will note some delays. We did our best to navigate them and press on. I found his persistence in getting back on the call close to a dozen times evidence of all he shared during our conversation. Consistency. Putting in your best.
Having been on the show before in Capturing Life through a Lens, episode 76, Enitan and I have become friends. I will say that is one of the great things about social media. Meeting new people and making a real connection. He asked if he could come back on the show and of course I said yes. Since we are in the Believe series I got to find out what he believes and how that shows up in his life. Inspiring? Yes.
You can find Enitan Balogun at Enitan on IG.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
In short we celebrated so much it looked like we could divide the episode into two. So we did, with Shaun returning as co-host. Today we give you Amanda and Priscilla with their answers to some playful questions. On the more serious, encouraging side, they share how they are being more themselves, along with what they believe in and why. There answers may surprise you.
What I am loving about the Believe series is there is no topic under which these questions should be answered. Guests are taking the questions in all kinds of directions and that’s what makes this unique. Just like each one of us is unique, so are our stories and how we approach revealing pieces of ourselves to others. I appreciate how UY guests come bravely as themselves with vulnerability, share with us authentically, and are transparent - a window into who they are. Let’s all do more of that please. It matters because you matter. And there’s nothing better you can do than to be fully you.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We are celebrating our 100th episode today. It’s been a wonderful, challenging, fulfilling ride. And one we want to keep going. I asked Shaun to sit in with me. We’ve invited a couple of past guests Amanda and Priscilla to join us - you will find them on the next episode. We’re switching up the usual get-to-know-you section and adding the believe questions to round it out. It adds up to a memorable time.
Yes, I am deeply moved by the power of people just like you, just like me, to have impact through the simple act of having a conversation and sharing a piece of who you are with the rest of us. Thank you for making these past 100 episodes a thing of beauty, for becoming a part of who I am. May I continue to serve by encouraging you in the next 100. Oh and if you want to be on the show let me know. We can make that happen.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I am a fan of today’s guest, Colby Martin. He and his wife, Kate, are co-pastors of a church I attended. What makes me a fan is the humility in which he conducts himself. Plus he makes God beautiful which is the best thing I can say about anyone. In our conversation we talk about the woman who inspires him to burst out of his progressive bubble, whether he actually has an embarrassing tattoo, and why Lord of the Rings is his favorite movie.
Most of us believe we each get one life and what we do with it is the gift of being here. While Colby is in the process to “improve” he has the opportunity to lead a group of people toward full stop love and acceptance. Isn’t it a far better choice to err on the side of treating other people, everyone in fact, the way we want to be treated?
You can find Colby at:
Colby's website
Colby on Instagram
Colby on Facebook
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
After having Chris on the show I decided to move his episode into our newest series, the Believe series. You will hear me introduce him as a By Request guest but I changed my mind. I’ve heard it said a woman has that prerogative. Giggle, giggle. Really get ready for about a dozen truth bombs Chris drops on us throughout this episode. Very impactful, based in reality and ready to apply. Enjoy!
Are you ready to ask yourself some questions? Because you already have the answers to who you are. We don’t need to operate from a place of default. Let’s move into the space of design, where we get to pick our best life because we have that special thing that only we can share. Let’s look forward.
You can find Chris on Instagram at Chris Barber Coaching and on his website Chris Barber Dream Builder Coach.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We’ve got a treat for you today. The word “treat” conjures up a sweet little something after a good meal. That’s what today’s By Request is all about: a good meal of plant-based, healthy, delicious food. Let’s start with the undeniable passion Naeemah has for creating and preparing. Then add the experience of being in the kitchen with family members, fold in a generous portion of curiosity and you have Nourish with Naeemah.
What I appreciate about her is she encourages and educates without trying to convert. I had questions that came up for me in my own eating. Naeemah was accepting and informative never pushy or judgmental. She understands the desire to enjoy our food and has the knowledge base to make that happen in a way that supports optimal health. Clearly loves what she does and it shows. The proof is in the pudding.
You can find Nourish with Naeemah on Facebook at Naeemah on FB or on Instagram at Naeemah on IG.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Here’s what I noticed right away about Lauren, our By Request guest for today. At her young age she has already dabbled in many different kinds of things. She’s taken her entrepreneurial spirit and applied it by being creative, freelancing and doing what is necessary in her work to be exactly who she wants to be.
Not only is Lauren trying the new thing of coaching, she is doing it with gusto. She has confidence it will work out and is not afraid to seek the help of those who have gone before her. I have no doubt she will land on her feet no matter how this latest chapter goes. Lauren will take what she has learned and will remember to pivot.
You can find Sim and more info about her business coaching on Instagram: Lauren on IG
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Sasha Williams is today’s guest. She’s a single mom to four kiddos. By her own admission they are her reason for surviving and doing so quite well. You see Sasha is a domestic violence survivor and she is quite proud of having made it through victorious.
Expressing herself through the experiences she’s had, the emotions she feels and her thoughts about the world, Sasha creates poetry. It was something in her from an early age and now she wants to inspire other women through the thing that comes naturally to her.
You can find Sasha on Instagram at Sasha Williams on IG. You can also find her book on Amazon here The World Through Her Eyes.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Oh my goodness. This 25-year old has some major wisdom to share with us today. WAs I that insightful at her age? I’d like to think so but I wonder. Michelle Blackwell or Mimi as she’s known has recently taken a big risk and switched careers. She shares with us her desire to be more fulfilled in her work life and all she has learned in this season of her life.
I’m not sure if it was a bracelet or earrings. You likely heard a little jingle throughout our conversation. I’m going to liken it to Christmas bells…From changing small things, like your daily habits, to bigger things like shifting your mindset, Mimi knows growth occurs outside your comfort zone. I applaud the truth of this. It’s worth the risk to do the scary thing. Otherwise you’ll always wonder, What if I’d done that? Let’s say it doesn’t work out. Well then you have some new things to take with you to the next thing. And by all means, learn to be in the moment.
You can find Mimi on Instagram at Mimi on IG or on Facebook at Mimi on FB.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We shouldn’t outsource our happiness or look to someone else to make us who we are. It is one of the nuggets shared by Traci today during our conversation. It’s the idea that you need to be complete and whole within yourself before you can share who you are with someone else. This is the healthy approach to connecting with another.
Traci is a relationship coach. The road to get there took a lot of maneuvering through some very rough, painful terrain. I am grateful she’s made it out the other side of the hard times and can now use those experiences to help other women. Get to know who you are so you can show up in your relationships full, healthy and ready to love. Once you do that, anything is possible.
You can find Traci and more info about her relationship coaching here: Traci on IG.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Sim has some profound nuggets to share with us today. I loved listening to her. It made me think. She wants to work with women and support them in their health journey, coaching them to move forward in a different, healthier, more empowered way. Check out how many phrases she said that were keepers. Coming alongside women and helping them look at the whole picture of wellness is Sim’s purpose and passion.
Understanding what works for you, might not work for me, and knowing your triggers are two of the takeaways for me. As Sim says, listen to your body. It’s simple advice but one we don’t always do. Sometimes it’s because we don’t know, and sometimes it’s because maybe we don’t care. Either way I am hopeful any women who need support and encouragement around autoimmune skin disorders will find the help they need. And if it’s with Sim, you will be blessed.
You can find Sim and more info about her health coaching here: Sim on IG.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
We did an episode #40 last year for New Year’s aptly called Takeaways and Looks Ahead. It featured 5 women. This year we are asking 3 men: Mark from Keep Your Dreams Alive, episode 50. Ben from You are not Alone, episode 57. Pat: from Be a Barnabus Today, episode 51.
Their task? To answer these two questions: 1. What is your takeaway from 2021? 2. What do you see for 2022?
The highlights: visualizing what comes next and taking steps to do it. To pan out and see the bigger picture because you have no idea how all the times, both good and hard, will lead you to the next thing. And no matter what, choose joy. You’ve got to go through it all so you might as well look at the positive. Happy New Year everybody.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT (not edited for errors)
Participant #1:
Welcome to Unabashed you conversations to become who you already are. The focus at UI is to be who you are without apology, for you are one of a kind, without equal. Be encouraged as these conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way your companion to the whimsy and beauty of the human spirit. Rochelle Kindy Now we did an episode number 40 last year for New Year's aptly called Takeaways and Looks Ahead. It featured five women. This year we are asking three men. Mark from Keep Your Dreams Alive, episode 50, Ben from You Are Not Alone, episode 57, and Pat Be a Barnabas Today, episode 51. Their task to answer these two questions. One, what is your takeaway from 2021 and what do you see for 2022?
Participant #1:
I've had the pleasure of knowing Mark for more years than I can recount. He is fun, funny, and deep, a dear friend. All right, Mark, what is your takeaway from 2021? Oh, God, let me catch my breath. We caught more on a hike. On a beach hike. It's been quite a year. And looking back, the obvious thing is just that having gone through this pandemic, but then how that sort of impacted our lives. Right. And how did we navigate through being faced with that adversity? Right. So the thing for me was very similar to what our interview was like last year, which is finding those dreams and those passions that you have and really doing what you love. I think when we're faced with adversity, you can either go that direction and try to get more in tune with those things because it kind of can push you that way or it can sink you. So, yeah, I managed to sort of find these little seeds of those things that I really, truly loved during this last year. Oh, that's wonderful. So it sounds like persevering and like in the fork in the road, you're going to keep going even more so to the side of your dreams and the things that propel you and compel you. Absolutely. And I think it's interesting because there's been times in my life different challenges that we face. And I just always feel like I tend to try for some reason, I want to at those times, try to focus on those things to get me through just those passions that we have. Right. And to me, they are what is life affirming and that can kind of really propel us forward. Right. I like that. Yeah. And I know, you know, for me, it was getting in touch more with my music and my singing again. And that totally just stands out to me that I was able to somehow start making music again and start feeling like I was getting more creative with that again. Right. Wonderful, wonderful. And what do you see for 2022 as you look into the New year? What do you see? Well, to me, it's building on those seeds that were planted. It feels like even though we're being faced with yet again, another wave of this variant and all of this that I want to take what I sort of started with in 2021 and just keep building on that. So for me, that's that I'm going to be doing taking my music.
Participant #1:
Okay. He slowed down there for a second. Let's see if we can get him back to I'm going to be in cabaret concert. All right. Very exciting. Yes. Okay. So Mark was just sharing with us that he's going to do a cabaret concert coming up in 2022 based on the passion and the dreams that he's had. That really kind of crescendo it, I would say, in 2021. Correct. Oh, he's off the Hill now. Okay, there we go. You're back, you're back. Okay. So what it is. Yeah. I'm excited about 2022 because I can sort of visualize what that's going to turn into keeping the music going. Wonderful.
Participant #1:
Thank you for sharing that, Mark. I really appreciate it. As a friend, I certainly want to definitely support and see your dreams come alive. So thank you for that. All right. Thanks, Mark. Happy New Year. Ben is someone I worked with in children's theater. He's creative driven and loyal. I think he is terrific. All right, Ben, what is your takeaway from 20 21? 20 21 was definitely, like, challenging, I think, for a lot of people in a lot of ways. But I think the biggest takeaway is that just being faithful to God and just kind of just like staying true to yourself and all that through the hardest parts, everything just will work out. I think that's something that definitely took way to see because there is definitely some bumpiness there's some hard decisions, hard choices, but at the end of the day, just staying true to doing what you got to do. And it all worked out in the end, it was all gone. Yeah. Because it was definitely like some bumps this year. But like I said, it all panned out really well to the end. And sometimes we don't see the bigger picture until everything's been here like, oh, wow, thank God all that happened. You know what I mean? That is so true. That is so true. You just don't know what's going to build on even the hard times. Yeah, exactly. I like that word faithful. I like that you said it twice. So to me, that was almost a theme for you for 2021 was that one of your takeaways is being faithful to the direction that you feel you're being let in, and also even in the bumps and all of that, to remain faithful. Yeah. It's not easy. I value that a lot in people, too.
Participant #1:
Yeah. Well, that brings us to our second question, which is what do you see for 2022?
Participant #1:
If you would ask me January last year, about 22, it would be New Year now. I'm like, just really excited.
Participant #1:
Not so much in my career. Things have been good, but just love I was pointing to sounds like God definitely opened up some big doors there. Exciting. Like, wow, my mind is painful for this upcoming year. And I'm really excited. And I'm not normally it's funny because, like, coming into the New Year, I'm not into change. I think change is something that could be really hard. But this year, I'm actually really excited. Change is a good thing. I know something that's hard. It's uncomfortable. We don't like it a lot of times, but the benefits that come with change as part of growth. So I'm pretty excited for this year, what's going to be happening that is so profound then seriously, I mean, to recognize yeah, you're right. A lot of us don't like change because it's new and it's unexpected and what's going to happen and all of that. But you are understanding that change. It's one of the things we can count on. Right? I mean, moving forward. And so you are excited for this New Year. You see a lot of positive, good changes for your life. And I see in your smile and the sparkle in your eye when you talk about 2022 that there are some good things for you on the horizon. Yeah. And normally I'm not like I said, normally it's funny because January is my least favorite time of the year. I always feel like, yes, I got through a whole year. Now I got to start everything over. Like I said, change is not a comfortable thing. But I think over the years, I just have learned a lot in the sense of, like, just trust again, if you just say true to yourself, your convictions to God faithfulness, like I said, it really does work some stuff out, even though you don't always see the big picture. Right. I like that. I like that a lot. Well, thank you, Ben. I appreciate you taking the time to share your takeaways and looks ahead. Thank you, Ben. Thank you. Thank you. Awesome Christmas and stuff, too. I did hope you did, too. All right. Thanks, Ben. Another person I've known for years, Pat, peacekeeper, encourager family, man. I value his thoughts. All right, Pat, what is your takeaway from 2021? Wow. Well, first of all, who would have ever thought last year about this time? Everybody was talking about, oh, so glad 2020 is over. I can't wait till 2020. Bring on 2021. We need a breath of fresh air, and it's like what ends up happening? Who would have ever thought there was going to be a sequel? Yeah, and the sequel was going to be named 2021, and it was going to be bigger and badder than the original. Oh, my gosh. It's kind of interesting because backtracking to 2020, for me, 2020 was confusing. The buzzword would have been confusing because everything was new. You were suddenly thrust into this darkness of confusion, mixed signals. Suddenly you didn't know what was going to happen next. You were hunkering down and businesses were closing and things of that nature. So to me it was very confusing. And then it was interesting because a friend of mine kind of coined a word for 2021 is actually our pastor said 2020. We complicated. And I went, yeah, that's so true because I think what we actually saw is kind of the byproduct or maybe the collateral damage of 2020. Everything just got very confusing. For me, it's really confusing. You don't know what's going to happen next. Everything became more like travel was more difficult. Relationships got much more difficult. The continuation of battle lines being drawn politically, everything is more confusing and more complicated, more difficult. And it just kind of got really sad. And it's just really interesting me Where's the supply side of economics, I mean, getting product, whoever thought you go to a Walmart and couldn't find green beans, for crying out loud? And things just got more difficult. Relationships got more difficult. Again, the idea of battle lines being drawn, even worse, confusing and difficult and complicated. Like Kovan 19, it's got like the sinister name to it. And so it strikes fear into people. And I think people were dealing with fear and confusion, not knowing what to do next. So for me, if I was going to say a takeaway choosing Joy because you see a lot of anger, a lot of frustration, a lot of shortness with people. Another thing that got complicated was I have a seven year old granddaughter that I take to and from school. Even going to school got very complicated masks. We're going to mask up in the classroom where we're 6ft apart, but you at lunch where you're sitting right next to your best friend or your buddy. You don't need a mask. Even the kids are confused. And to me, that's kind of really sad because I was thinking about this this morning when we were kids, when you and I were kids, life wasn't complicated. It was simple. Not like this, right? No. And they're dealing with so much these days. So as I mentioned, kind of choosing Joy I need for me, how do you make that pivot? Because that's a huge pivot from confusion and complication to Joy. How do you stop yourself in your tracks and do that? For me personally, I just have to make that conscious because I'm not good at it. I get bogged down and I get short. And it's funny because not funny. It's sad in a way that you get short with the people you care about the most. I get very sure. It's almost like you have to catch yourself going down that path. And you got to say, you know what? I need to choose to be Joyful today and stop and think about there is so much out there to be Joyful for you really can fight Joy and the difficulties, and that's kind of one of the little things I think about is my life is difficult, but on a daily basis it's filled with blessings. Having both my grandkids living with me is difficult. It's complicated, but at the same time, all I have to do is look at that face or sit down, play Scrabble last night with my seven year old. Talk about complicated. Play it with a seven year old. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Like regular Scrabble or is there a junior? Yeah, regular Scrabble. I have not got the vocabulary for Scrabble, that's for sure. Anyway, that's for me. That's what I need to do, and I'm not good at it. And I've got to do it every single day for me. Again, starting each day with prayer, I have a prayer. Hopefully I can remember this, but a prayer that I use every morning is, Lord, thank you for another precious day of life. Help me to be aware of your presence around me and help me to be thankful for all that I have. Ooh. It's very simple, and yet it's very profound. Well, if I can remember it, it has to be simple, right? Well, that's good. Okay, so you're choosing Joy. Despite all the complications and confusion, how do you see then, 2022, as we cross the bridge over into a new year? Well, I wish I could say I tried to be a very optimistic person. I wish I could say that there was a lot of optimism. I have a lot of hope, but optimistically, I see a lot of the same things happening in say that I think there's going to be a lot of the same complications, at least initially. Again, what I do for a living, I'm seeing a lot of difficulties. I don't see things freeing up as far as products and goods and things of that nature. So I still see a lot of difficulty there. I see inflation, by no means economists, but I think things are going to get more and more difficult as far as economics and things like that. My hope would be that people one of the other things that I find to be a little frustrated, I hope it changes in 2022 is that these battle lines that are drawn you're on this side, you're on that side, you're a conservative, you're a Liberal, you're this, you're that. The saddest part for me is that people don't seem to stop and listen and think about what the other person goes through on a regular basis. I just wish and my hope is that people will take the time to listen to one another. It's trite to put yourself in somebody else's shoes. Right. You and I have known each other for a lot of years, and we won't get into that. And I know we've been through a lot of different situations. There's no doubt we view things differently, but we have commonalities that bring us together. Right. And those things to me as we're leaving Advent, the Advent Candle, which talks about hope, enjoy and peace and love. Our commonalities and the things that we agree on bring us back to a place of love. Right. And that's why you and I, even despite the years that we weren't around one another, still had that bond and that love. And I just hope people realize that we have a lot more in common. And even though we've got midterms coming up and that's going to draw somebody's going to be happy and somebody's going to be sad. But realize that in this thing together and enjoy one another a lot more and choose more joy and find hope and peace and love. Oh, that's wonderful. And I like the idea that you brought up of listening to the other. I find a lot of times when people are talking or maybe even when I'm talking, I'm thinking of what I'm going to say next as opposed to really being in the moment of listening to the other person and trying to get rid of all of the preconceived ideas or what have you. And just really, like you say, be in somebody else's shoes for a moment. Because I think you're right. We have more in common than our differences, so we should concentrate on that. Well, thank you, Pat, for taking this time to be with us and to share your thoughts, your takeaways and looks ahead. That was really wonderful. A real blessing. Thank you so much for that. And may you have a hope filled 2022. Well, may I leave you with one thing? Yes. Jehovah Shalom. All right. The God of peace. God is my peace. Wonderful. It's another element that we all need. That's great. All right, Pat, thanks so much. You bet. Have a great one. You too. Bye.
Participant #1:
The highlights visualizing what comes next and taking steps to do it, to pan out and see the bigger picture because you have no idea how all the times, both good and hard, will lead you to the next thing. And no matter what, choose joy, you've got to go through it all. So you might as well look at the positive. Happy New Year, everybody. The Unabashed U website has a page for each guest filled with photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio@unabashedu.com. You can find the show and other podcast platforms want to lend your support and encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under Unavashured U if you want to connect. The email is unabashedyou@gmail.com for questions, comments and anything else. If you want to be part of our weekly emailing list highlighting the week's episode, give us a shout. We'd be happy to add you and your info will never be shared, website visits, social media and word of mouth. And sharing these episodes makes us discoverable so thanks for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think. Celebrate who you are and move you in some way. Be encouraged as you continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing, a new year, fresh beginnings and sometimes more of the same. May you look to being grateful, counting your blessings and looking to what we share. Let's start right away. Amen. Come on now. In 2020 be an abashod be you.
We’re doing something a little different this week. We’re going to celebrate Christmas.
Shaun graced us with his presence by bringing his A-game of whimsy, impressions, and as always, fun. We thought of a few memories, walked through some would-you-rathers, and he guessed on a bunch of Christmas trivia. Be sure to have some fun with loved ones this season. I know we’ll have a Merry Christmas and we are wishing you one too!
You will find the Tariq Khamisa Foundation work here tkf and on Instagram tkf. Also you can reach out to Tasreen for more through email info@tkf.org.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT (not edited for errors)
Participant #1:
Welcome to Unabashed you conversations to become who you already are. The focus at UI is to be who you are without apology, for you are one of a kind, without equal. Be encouraged as these conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way your companion to the whimsy and beauty of the human spirit. Rochelle Condy. Now we're doing something a little different this week. We're going to celebrate Christmas.
Participant #1:
Okay. So I've invited Sean on the show to do kind of what we did last year, have a special episode for Christmas. I thought it would be fun to ask each other some questions and just kind of have some Mary, as in M-E-R-R-Y. Welcome back to the show, Sean. Oh, my gosh. Bye. Golly. It's time for Miseletoe and Holly. Let's do this. We are off to a solid start. What's the first Christmas you can remember? Oh, gosh. For one, let me turn my microphone up just a tiny bit. For one, you're asking someone who is not known for having a very good memory at all. Sorry, give me 1 second. No problem. No problem. You're asking somebody who is not known for having a good memory. And two, with all the brain fog stuff, I'm sure it's even worse. I have, like, little snippets of things. Okay. Share a snippet with us. I remember wearing when we were living in the condo, like these blue jammies, like these dark blue, and I think they had a red trim or something like that. That might have been the year I got a Super Nintendo, which would have been memorable. Yeah. I also remember when Ron, I don't know if you guys maybe were just dating and he had to pull out all of a sudden stops to win my affection. And he got me like a Darth Vader toy and then like a tie fighter for him to go in. And that was like a big. Yeah. How could you not immediately accept him as your father at that point? Yeah. So sweet. So those are sort of the earliest ones. And then obviously like, times at Mimi's house, which is my grandmother, who we used to do Christmas Eve on.
Participant #1:
Yeah. What about you? I guess the first Christmas I can remember is second grade. I believe I was in second grade
Participant #1:
and I were in the car with my brother David in the back, and we got in a car accident on Christmas Eve, and she had a Pujo that had, like, where the ignition was. The metal was exposed. So there was like, the circle of the metal. Half of the circle was exposed. And this woman pulled out. She hit us. And my mom's kneecap went into the ignition and it broke her knee cap. And I remember the feeling of being that age and seeing that your parent is hurt and feeling very helpless and very worried and anxious. What was going to happen? Was she going to be okay? All those sorts of things. So fast forward. Is this the Christmas where you took her leg? No, that came later. That came later. So my aunt. So someone took her. It's funny, as we sat there in the crashed car, many of our family members very coincidentally happened to drive by. So I don't even remember who took her to the hospital, but somebody took her to the hospital. And then my aunt took David and I. We were supposed to go get our haircut. I think that's what we were on the way to go lean to doing was to get a haircut. And I'll have to show you the picture. Maybe we'll have to find it. The haircut was no good or just a meme. Oh, no, I looked like a boy. I think I kept turning. I kept turning because my brother kept running out of the shop. The little shop. Yeah. And the next thing you know, I look like a boy. I have a boy haircut. Nothing wrong with a cute short haircut. But I was not rocking the haircut, not even a little bit. So that the pictures from that Christmas Eve. You've got my mom and this massive cast with crutches. Then you've got me who looks like a boy. And I topped it off by wearing flannel and I think some sort of pants. That didn't help the outside. Yeah. It didn't help the look at all, but that's the first Christmas I can remember. And it was a really good gift that year. I got some sort of a bake set that I wanted, so I was very it was kind of the best and the worst all wrapped up into one. Okay. Two tragedies and something positive. Yes, that's good. The greatest. Well, we don't have to rate it, but greatest tragedy hair. Oh, yeah. The hair was really something. Have we done any sort of research as to that's? So wonderful. Maybe that was a God thing that all the family members were so close by. Have we done any research as to maybe the family set this up and maybe Jamie had upset a few family members and payback. Yeah, I sort of liken it, too. Julius Caesar being stabbed by the Senate and, you know, like, oh, Brutus and oh, you're all here. It's not by chance. I kind of think it was by chance this woman was. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking. But you know what? Anything is possible. It's the dreamer in me. Anything is possible. All right, let's do a couple. Would you rather this is funny. Would you rather write a five paragraph essay about the meaning of Christmas or solve a page of Christmas themed math problems? You've never asked an easier question. As soon as you got into writing five paragraphs, I was like, that's done. Easy, fun. I would enjoy that. As soon as math came out of your mouth. I'm mouth. I want nothing Christmas themed. So it would be like, I don't know, Tita had seven candy Canes. She sits. Yes, she sits at a table at a diner where they make pumpkins, pumpkin scones and pumpkin soup. Now Julietta is having the pumpkin soup, but to her ride, every third person has two candy Canes. And then it asks, like, how much would you tip your waitress on Christmas Eve?
Participant #1:
Yeah, those are like logic problems disguised as math problems disguised as logic problems. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so if you've been listening a long time, you know that math is not our strong suit. If you haven't been listening a long time, then you now know that math is not our strong suit. So we would both vote for writing. No problem. And that's not on us. That is. Your parents met in a remedial math class. We were doomed from the start. True story. That is a true story. They met intermediate math class at junior College. So, yeah, we never stood a chance. No, that's okay. All right. Would you rather have a nose that glows red like Rudolph, or have pointy ears like an elf? I mean, I already had big ears once, I think pointy ears because then I'd be very like Lord of the Rings Elvish, and then I could be Aloof. I'm an elf. What would you do the half up, half down hair. Do grow your hair out and do the half up, half down, half up, half down. Yeah. You know that guy with the white hair? Which guy? Orlando Bloom. I don't know. Oh, Lego ice. Yeah. Do you know the half up, half down look? No, I think he just has his hair pulled back. No, I think we got to look it up. I think it's half up, half down. Same with Liam Neeson and one of the Star Wars movies where it's just like that. You take the top half and you put that in a little man pony, and then the rest is coming down. So you'd have to grow your hair out to pull that off. Yeah. I don't know if my current hairline if that would be doing me any favors, but I could rock that. I'd look very sort of hippy ish. Yeah, sure. Why not? And speaking of Liam Neeson, wait, let me see if I can try my best. I want you to have a very Merry Christmas. Well, I, too, would rather have pointy ears like an elf, because when you're not feeling like showing off your elf ears, I can just cover it with some hair. And then when I want to rock my elf ears, I can put my hair behind my ears and really show off those elf ears. I think walking around with a red nose, it might be really distracting, sight wise. I don't think I'd like that. Yeah. Can you turn it off and on? Because driving at night, that would be difficult. Yes. And then one wonders about the breathing situation. Can I sleep with the red glowing nose? I don't know. Can I breathe or do you need a CPAP machine or one of those little like nasal bandages that you put on? That one wonders. One wonders. All right, we're going to head right into Trivia. Some movie trivia in A Christmas Story. Which toy does Ralphie desperately want? A BB gun. Easy. Very good Rider. Yeah, I know. There's a whole like the Red Rider. Very good. In Elf. What are the four main elf food groups? You can just guess them because it's unless you've seen the movie 5000 times, you would not be able to come up with. I enjoy it. But again, my memory is not. Let's take a couple of stabs syrups. Is that one of them? Yes. Very good. Syrups. Candy Canes candy. Yes. Candy Canes syrup. Candy Canes candy. You've gotten three out of four. Really? Yes. My gosh. Think Halloween for the last one. Halloween
Participant #1:
term. Yeah. There you go. Okay. I only got it from your drawing of triangle from your geometry. Another math concept right there. And how the Grinch Stole Christmas. What's the name of Grinch's Dog? I don't know why I said it like that dog in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. What's the Grinch's Dog? I want to say, Max. Yes. Here you are. Touting that you do not have good memory, but you are pulling out all the stops. You are batting, whatever the good thing is, because again, that would be more math, whatever the good amount is to bat the batting average, that's what you're batting. And we're also really big into sports, right? Yeah. Well, that too. What do you think is the highest grossing Christmas movie of all time? Is Frozen considered a Christmas movie? No. Okay. The highest grossing. Does that mean like when it first came out or does that mean like DVD sales? Well, it didn't give a caveat. So I'm going to say that it encompasses all of the things because it didn't specify when it came out or that sort of thing. I would think it'd be everything. And the answer was a little surprising to me. But I get it now that I'm on this side of knowing. That should be the title of a book. This Side of Knowing or Lifetime Movie. Again, we did the last this Side of Knowing starring Michelle Condemned as a forlorn mother of quintuplets who searches for the meaning of Christmas. She will find it in the hotel handyman. Okay, so I originally wanted to say like those. It's like two last names for the sort of stop animation movies. But I'm not going to say that it's not Courier knives. Oh, I know what you're talking about. You're talking about like Rudolph and prostitute snowman. Yes. No. Think more modern. Well, I was going to say elf. You would think so. You would think so? That's the most popular home Alone. Really? Home alone. I mean, I do love home Alone. Yes. Home alone is, according to my very limited brief research from two different sources, by the way, not just one, but two. So there you go. Double fact check. Well, I coincidentally ended up on two trivia things and those were the same question from two different sources. Okay. How many sizes does the Grinch's heart grow and how the Grinch stole Christmas? Don't even play that game with me.
Participant #1:
Yes. All right. Now we go into some miscellaneous trivia, which I think this is just downright so fun. I'm really excited about these questions because this first one they had me with this first one, I was like, yes, please. More of this. In Japan, it has become a popular tradition to eat what? American fast food on Christmas. I don't know if it's for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but I know they definitely do like fried chicken for one of their things. Is that what would you say? I would say like fried chicken and mashed potatoes or something like that. Okay. And you are correct. Do you know the name of that fast food restaurant? Kfc. Yes. There you go. There you go. Yes. Come on. I thought I'd stump you on that one. You have got it down. And the tradition of putting up a Christmas tree, where did that originate? Which country? Any ideas? Oh, gosh. Somewhere where there's a lot of Pines.
Participant #1:
That sounded very Scandinavia. I know, but it's my clothes. Well, yeah. I was thinking either like Scandinavia or like Germany. Poland. It was one of those. Germany. Yes.
Participant #1:
Yes. I was trying to do Gibberish in German, but it really ended up more north in the Scandinavian countries. Very good. Do you realize you've gotten every single one? Right. So with that in mind, that's a lot of pressure. Now, no pressure. Because honestly, I'm so sorry to say there are no prizes. It's just the simple joy of knowing that you've done your best. That's your reward. Disconnected St. Nicholas, whom Santa Claus is based on is from what country? Nicholas? I would want to say, like Germany again. That's your clue.
Participant #1:
Nicholas. I would think either Germany, Poland or one of the scandinavies. Okay. I just gave you a very good clue. The bird country. Is it Yodeling? No. Yes, you're right. It's a bird. It's a bird. Yes. Is there a country known for birds? Yes. Really?
Participant #1:
What bird makes that sound? Come on, Aloon. Oh, my gosh. Is there a country called Loon? No, no, there's a country named after a bird. Well, I don't know that it's named after a bird. Maybe the bird is named after the country. I'm going to go through Europe right now. Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Spain, Portugal, Germany, Poland. Is that somebody tapping at a glass with it? It's more clues. It starts with a T. Yeah. Tasmania. Yes.
Participant #1:
Now that you know it's Turkey, that had a kind of sounds like a Turkey. I've never practiced a Turkey stop before, but I imagine that's what they sound like.
Participant #1:
He came from. You do Turkey way back. You do Turkey way better than I just did. But I mean, it's off the cuffs. It's off the cuff. Yes. Way. He came from Turkey. He came from Turkey. We need to Google and find out more about St. Nicholas. Or did he travel to Turkey? Yeah, it says that he is from modern day Turkey, so I don't know what it was called then. That's more research. Interesting. Yeah. Because I don't associate Turkey with this Alabaster Jovial round man. Right. Well, I don't know if he got widified through cultural appropriation like Jesus did. What exactly happened there? But. Yeah, exactly right. So true. Okay, where do candy Canes come from? I would say the Swiss are always really good at like candies and stuff. So I'm going to guess either Switzerland or England. It's a really good guess, as I probably would have guessed the same. It's actually Germany. Okay. They got a lot of this stuff. Which is again why I would think Santa Claus. It sounds Sherman. Yeah. All right, let's go with one last one for miscellaneous trivia, what are the names of Santa's nine reindeer? You've got Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen. But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all? Billy? No. That was very good for the old crooner. Yes. You pulled up that song and you just slammed it down. That's just fantastic. You have them all down. Now. You said between Cupid and Blitzen. What's the random name? A lot of people say, Donna. I've heard that the correct way is actually Donder. Oh, interesting. Okay, Dondur. Well, something else we have to Google because. Yeah, I thought it was donor, but maybe it's the correct way to say it is. Don der
Participant #1:
like conjures up families being trapped in the snow and Donner pass by being eaten by other family members. Yeah, not good. Santa has a PR team. Yeah, that's right. Blitzen. With all of the head injuries. Blitzing is an American football term. So I feel like there needs to be a definite yes. Some reworking. Some rebranding. A little bit of rebranding there. Yeah. Love it. What Lovable character said. I planned out our whole day. First we'll make snow Angels for 2 hours and then we'll go ice skating and then we'll eat a whole roll of toyouse cookie dough as fast as we can. And then to finish, we'll snuggle. But what's his name? Buddy. Buddy the Elf. I did not realize you knew your buddy Trivia all that well. He's one of the Christmas classics. Well, it is. I know that you are sort of temperamental towards Will Ferrell. Do you enjoy that movie? I do like that movie. I like him in that. I like him in Talladega Nights and there is one other one that I like him in. You like him in The Prayer in Talladega Nights. Yeah. Sweet baby Jesus. Yeah, that's the one. Yes, I like him when he's not trying so hard. I'm a little bit of a fan. A little bit of a fan. Here we go. Okay. What popular characters that I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love. It's definitely from Charlie Brown. But I want to say is Linus saying that? Who says it
Participant #1:
Linus from Charlie Brown? Well, actually, it's actually Charlie Brown Brown. Linus, of course, gives the incredible monologue from Luke about the shepherds and the star, and he's got a massive monologue there. Yeah. I'm going to be honest, I'm not a fan. No. You don't like Charlie Brown Christmas. How come I want my Christmas stuff to be Die Hard? Well, I do. I love Die Hard as well. I mean, Alan Rickman and it's just a very wellwritten and made movie, but I don't want my Christmas to be somber. Bright lights, bright colors. And the Charlie Brown ones, too. It's sad because they're mean to him. Is that part of what. Yeah, they're not very nice to him. And that does always break my heart a little bit each time I see it. However, I have to see it for the Dancing Alone, that song when it comes on, and they all have their one thing they do. Yeah. It is completely innovative. Look at the dance styles for the 60s. That's pretty incredible. I think you got one like we'll call it the Turkey going back in the legs. Yeah, very creative. I also can't do those old stop motion ones. There's something unsettling about it. Oh, is it Uncanny Valley for you? A little bit. I mean, it's not Uncanny Valley because they don't look like real people, but it doesn't quite go with the mouth. And there's something that's just like it makes me uncomfortable and I can't. Okay, well, we know we definitely want your Christmas movies to be engaging and lively and have you feel the Christmas spirit. Now your favorite Christmas movie is The Family Stone. Yes, it is. And have you watched it yet this year? I did. Now we have another one that we've really enjoyed. And I don't know if we talked about this last year. I'd have to relisten to the episode. The first one we saw this year was let's see what's it called. Daddy's Home two. And that one, I think is very funny. Oh, that's the other movie I like Will Ferrell. I knew there was another Christmas movie I like him in. Yeah, I like him in that movie. I like that. Now he and Mark Wahlberg, their characters are friends. I like that they're not competing, that they've come to a new place. And so the whole conflict comes with basically Mel Gibson's character who plays Mark Wahlberg's father. So the grandfather, John Lithgow plays Will Ferrell's father. So, yes, I like that movie. I think it's very funny. So we started out light. And then the very next night I was geared up for family stuff and I loved it movie. I just do. I just do. Shout out to Hillary Hubbard, who watches. Yeah, Hilary Hubbard and Robin Rebold, who watches it usually half a dozen times and sometimes more. So I haven't checked in with her to see how many times she's on. I watch it once. Once is good. All right, I've got a couple more questions for you. I'm ready. You'll shoot your eye out, kid. Christmas story. Come on, let's try not to go too hard. All right, one more. Now you're going to get that one. Forget it. We'll go right to the final round of Christmas trivia in Home Alone. Where are the McAlisters going on vacation when they leave Kevin behind? Let's see. The second one, they're going to New York. The first one, they're going to Hawaii. That's a really good guess. But they're going to Paris. No, I said it was such confidence, too. That's okay, because they're on the East Coast, aren't they? I mean, they're in some town that snows. And I sort of feel like they're on the East Coast. What's the best selling Christmas song ever? The best selling Christmas song ever. I would have to think Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas. Okay. But actually think of way old school. Old school. Like Vince Crosby. Yes, exactly. What's his famous song? Kelly's. One of her movies that she watches every year. White Christmas. Yes. White Christmas. I've never seen it because it sounds wrong. Okay. It sounds like Quiet Christmas. I know it's not. Okay, so you know what? You need to come over and watch it. You need to come over and watch White Christmas. Okay. It definitely is worth feeling perhaps one time it is a classic. And the White Christmas has to do with them being in Vermont and the fact that they want it to snow has nothing to do with nothing. I know. Okay. I think I'm going to stumpy on this song unless you start singing and you're going to get it in the song. Winter Wonderland. What do we call this? No, man.
Participant #1:
Think of Johnny Math as Parsons Brown or someone. Yes, Parson Brown. Look at you. Oh, my goodness. We also have some fun and miss the snowman until they got the kids and knock them down. Yeah. Oh, my God. Parson Brown, look at you. I'm guessing that they picked that name because it rhymes down. Not that there's a famous Parson Brown. No, I don't think so. I mean, it's only famous, as far as I know, from the song. But what do I know? I do not have my Winter Wonderland or my Johnny Mathis trivia. More homework, more. I'm hoping we find out. It's a real person and we need to read the biography of Parson Brown. Okay, so maybe you'll get that for sure. The Life and Times of Parson Brown, another Lifetime original movie. According to the song, what did my true love Give to me on the 8th day of Christmas? Oh, gosh, this one's hard. I know it's those ones right around 86789 are the ones that are hard to remember. I believe eight is maids of milk. Oh, my gosh, you've got it. Yes. Eight maids of Milky. And our final question for this wonderful Christmas time episode. Christmas time episode in the movie Elf, what was the first rule of the code of Elves? Oh, gosh, I don't know. As soon as you hear it, you will. Yeah.
Participant #1:
I don't know. Be kind or You Got to Love Christmas or something like that. Yeah, I kind of like that. So treat every day like Christmas day like Christmas. Yeah. Treat every day like Christmas. Something we should all be doing. I know. I think I might call this episode Treat Every day like Christmas, am I? Yeah. Or on the other side of Christmas or whatever. Oh, yeah. On the other side. The other side of knowing the other side of knowing Christmas. I admit that even when it's not Christmas, it could be in the middle of the summer, July, August. And if it is a cloudy day or I just need to pick me up. Christmas music is going on in the car. No shame. You wouldn't just listen to pop music for a certain month. So why would you relegate Christmas music to just one song? Free yourself, free your mind and the rest will follow. Yes, we like that song. A little shout out to them. What was their name? I can see them on the cover. The women.
Participant #1:
Okay. Someone has to look up real fast for Your Mind is by Envog. There we go. They're also the ones that do that wrote a song. You want to hear about it? Yeah, same one. Okay. Yeah. Same CD. Yes. Very good. I only know it because I think you played it a lot, million times when I like it. All right. Anything in conclusion that you want to say about Christmas one? I'm thankful that we're able to have a more regular Christmas this year, able to see more family and just less covered restrictions, although we have to do masks inside until the 15th, at least in California. And I am just appreciative that we can it's just sort of like if you're an alien, it would just be so strange to land and try and talk to people about why are there all these corpses and skeletons and stuff and gourds everywhere? Like, oh, it's Halloween time. We put up spooky stuff, like, okay. And now all of a sudden, I wasn't sure where you were going because we jump from that to like, okay, now there's turkeys and people in black and white everywhere. And then all of a sudden we jump to this heavy set, man in a red suit, snowman and stuff. I don't know, it's just sort of fun that we're able to most of us set aside our nastiness for a little while and just all come together in the cheer and try and be good to each other. And we should be doing that every day. But this is a good reminder to sort of be in that spirit and treat every day like Christmas Day. Treat every day like Christmas. What about you? Well, I feel grateful for the same being able to one. Our family has chosen to kind of streamline a little bit and not have it be so Gifty. I think that feels really nice and good and I think it really helps enjoy the season a little more. And I too am looking forward to being more in the moment of the various Christmas activities and most especially Christmas. Even Christmas Day being together and enjoying joining one another's company. Yes. Yes. We need to treat every day like Christmas.
Participant #1:
Okay. You're going to give me a big smile. We're going to take a picture. Oh, gosh. There we go. Okay. Thank you so much for this time together. I guess this is now going to be another wonderful annual tradition. Christmas episode. Great. There we go. I like it. And I'll take us out with a bit of a song. Yes, please. Peace on Earth. Can it be peace on Earth? Perhaps we'll see. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Participant #1:
Sean graced us with his presence by bringing his agame of Whimsy impressions and is always fun. We thought of a few memories, walked through some would you Rathers? And he guessed on a bunch of Christmas trivia. Be sure to have some fun with your loved ones this season. I know we'll have a Merry Christmas and we are wishing you one too. Viana Bassett website has a page for each guest filled with photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio@unabashedu.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to subscribe, follow rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under Unovashed you if you want to connect. The email is unavashuredyou@gmail.com for questions, comments and anything else. If you want to be part of our weekly emailing list highlighting the week's episode, give us a shout. We'd be happy to add you and your info will never be shared. Website visits, social media and word of mouth in sharing these episodes makes us discoverable. So thanks for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. Be encouraged as you continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing. An Irish Christmas blessing. May you be blessed with the spirit of the season, which is peace, the gladness of the season, which is hope and the heart of the season which is love Amen go be unabashed be you.
This conversation left me struggling for words at times to express and share, the magnitude of impact this story has had on me for some years now. I even wrote about it in the blog post, The Power of Forgiveness, episode 74. And now, the chance to speak with Tasreen Khamisa, this week’s By Request guest, who heads the foundation that honors her brother who is no longer here.
TKF seeks to help the youth find different, and better, ways to cope with feelings that lead to choices that aren’t always good. She knows first-hand the impact this can have on a family. Isn’t it something that immeasurable goodness can come from such profound tragedy? I applaud the healing, restoration and the work done here. I hope one day there will be a larger awakening to consider this model essential learning for the wellness of our community. Thank you TKF for all you do - in Tariq’s name.
You will find the Tariq Khamisa Foundation work here tkf and on Instagram tkf. Also you can reach out to Tasreen for more through email info@tkf.org.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT (not edited for errors)
Participant #1:
Welcome to Unabashed you conversations to become who you already are. The focus at UI is to be who you are without apology, for you are one of a kind, without equal. Be encouraged as these conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way your companion to the whimsy and beauty of the human spirit. Rochelle Kindy Now this conversation left me struggling for words at times to express and share the magnitude of impact the story has had on me for some years now. I even wrote about it in the blog post, The Power of Forgiveness, Episode 74. And now the chance to speak with Tasreen Khamisa this week's. Buy Request guest who heads the foundation that honors her brother, who is no longer here.
Participant #1:
I became acquainted with Tasreen through supporting the foundation her family started TKF. I invited her a while back, and we finally have synced our calendars to make this conversation work. Welcome to the show, Tasreen.
Participant #1:
Did you hear me say welcome? Sorry. That's okay. My thing clicked out. So can you still hear me? I still can hear you. Yes. Okay, good. Okay. So I just welcomed you to the show. I said that we were finally able to connect our calendars and get a date at a time. And I'm so excited. Yes, I'm excited to be here. Thank you for having me. Oh, it's such a pleasure. It really is. And you have a beautiful smile. Truly beautiful smile. Is there anything you want the listeners to know about you as we get started here? I'm a mom of three kids, first and foremost. So they're like a huge part of who I am. Yes. And I just have always been really rooted in serving since I was little. It would have been a big part of my life. And so I know my purpose is to serve. And I think serving young people has always been something that I've been super passionate for. And now having my own kids, I think it just gives it new meaning. Right. And then seeing the other people that pour into your kids through your family, your community, your friends, school, whatever, I mean, it's just such a valuable thing. You realize it really does take the village or the community to really raise up your kids in a really great way. It does. What three words would you use to describe yourself? Okay, so I thought about this. So I put compassionate because I feel like I try to lead with compassion every day. Like that is something I do. I put understanding and but it's important, especially at this time in our country, even more so that we learn to be understanding. And I put spiritual because I think I'm really rooted in I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. And I like to live to live with that lens because I believe everything happens for a reason. And we're here for growth and we grow different ways. But if we have a spiritual lens, I feel like we're more open to both sorrow and joy because they both teach us different things. That is so true. That is so true because you can't really appreciate the joy and the good stuff unless you've I mean, it feels really good in the moment, but if you've also had the heartbreak and the grief and the devastation, it's even sweeter. Would you agree with that? Absolutely. I think that you have to have both. They go hand in hand. Yeah, absolutely. Well, and that's how this life works, right? We have both. Yeah, we have both. My dad gave me the profit by Karl Gibbon when I was 18. And there's a whole passage on there around joy and sorrow. And when you have joy, sorrow is in the shadow and vice versa. We always have to remember that everything changes, nothing's permanent. We will move through things, but we can't appreciate joy without sorrow, and we can't appreciate sorrow without joy because they both teach us so many things. And I think just that one lesson as a young girl, 18, we do a lot of nights sometimes. Oh, isn't that wonderful? Gosh, what a gift. That is a great gift to give. All right. We're going to do two truths and a lie. So you say three things about yourself. I will try to guess. Okay. So I'm an extrovert. I am scared of height, and Swahili was my first language. Okay. Extrovert scared of heights. Swahili is the first language. Okay. I talked my process, so you don't have to say anything for just a moment. Okay. Scared of heights. I mean, who isn't? In a way. I know there are people that aren't. I'm going to put that aside as being true. Swahili. I think that could be true. I'm just going to take a wild guess that you're naturally an introvert. Yes.
Participant #1:
Okay. And, you know, I'm actually an introvert, too, although you would not necessarily know that about me either. That doesn't mean we're not friendly and warm and all those things. It just means not just it means that we need time alone and away from the busyness of life to recharge. We don't recharge through the people and the stuff and all that. That actually kind of takes a little bit away. Even if it's the most fun you ever had, it still kind of takes away your energy. Do you agree with that, too? Yes, absolutely. One introverts or the other? Right. I agree with all of that. I don't recharge around other people. And I think my job is so external that I almost have to cocoon more. Sometimes I have to go back to it on. Sometimes I'll go a whole week out without even, like, hearing my own voice. I need that downtime and that quiet time. Yeah. Okay. So you are afraid of heights, which seems very natural to me. And then Swahili was your first language? Yeah, I was born in Nairobi, Kenya, and we called them Ayaz but they're like nannies. That took a lot of care of me when I was born. And so, yeah, my first words were in 20 weeks. That is so cool. Do you still know it or recognize it at all? Some of the simple words like Lala is sweet and of course, jumbo. We all know because of The Lion King, I guess. But some of the simple words I still remember. Oh, gosh, that's so precious. What a great beginning. I love that. All right. Your favorite movie of all time? Well, it's an Indian movie. I did an Indian movie and I did an English movie. Okay. So Devdas is an Indian movie that has been around for a long time, but it's just a tragic love story. But I love it. It's like a three hour typical Indian movie. And then I think it was hard for me to pick an English movie, but I think then I always go back to The Notebook. I think the notes I've watched it so many times, I can watch it over and over again. Well, those sound kind of parallel. I haven't seen the first one, but they both seem to me to be by even your description, romantic love stories. And then with some unbelievable sadness woven in is kind of what that sounds like. Yeah. Okay, cool. I haven't seen The Notebook in a long time, so I'm going to have to revisit the name of the person that inspires you. I put down both my grandmother's. Oh, nice. They both have inspired me in so many ways, but definitely in what's important in life. I think my dad's mom, who I called Mama, she always was rooted in service. And so she really instilled in me that true service is really the left hand has no idea what the right hand is doing to always when you serve, do it unconditionally and without expectation of anything in return. And she instilled that in me at a young age. And she role modeled that her entire life. Both my grandmothers have passed. And my mom's mom just instilled in me the importance of family first. And sometimes we do all these things outside of our family externally, but we don't do the same things like within our family. And she always instilled in me family first and the importance of family and showing up for family and being the support to your loved ones and your family. And I think those are two things I've really taken with me as I grew up. And as an adult, they really, truly are my role models, for sure. Well, and this is the first time we have spoken on the phone before, briefly, this was like last year. But this is the first time where we were really having an in real life conversation. And I will say that as little as I know about you. I am absolutely convinced that both of those things come from you. I can feel that family is first. I can feel that you are about service and obviously the work you're doing, and we'll get into that really exemplifies both of those areas that your grandma's gave to you. So you called one Mama, and what did you call the other one? Nanima. Nanima. Yeah, Nanima, which means older mother. So, yeah, my Mama and my NA. So they definitely were my true, I think, role models and beautiful. That's really beautiful. I like the nod to two generations skipping your parents, and obviously your parents had impact on you as well. But then that next generation up. That's really lovely. All right. And a negative wisdom you keep handy. You've already given us a lot. My gosh. So I'm a big Louise lhey fan. Okay. There's this affirmation that I just keep everywhere that I always say, and that all is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. So I kind of try to stay grounded in that. I think just even the all as well. I think when life gets hard or you're going through challenges, I truly believe, like, what we feed grows. So when we are going through challenges, if we can fit in, that all as well, everything is working out for my highest good. That's what we grow. And sometimes it's really natural to go into, like, a lot of negativity or self doubt, self worth, helplessness. And so if we give energy to that and we feed, that, that's what's going to grow. And I think affirmations are so powerful to like. Our words and thoughts are so important, and a lot of us, I think, have to train our brains to rethink that way because it's easier to go into the negative and spiral into negative. And I am completely guilty of that. I got to write it.
Participant #1:
Reminders. Sure. Yes. Everything you're saying, I'm nodding. I'm tearing up. My heart is swelling. Yes. Obviously, kindred spirits here. And just to curse me, have you ever considered writing a book? You've got all these great pieces of wisdom to share. So beautiful. I leave that to my author of a father five books. Yeah. Okay. He's authored five. I have three. And I've read the first one, which was just so incredible. All right, let's take the deep dive, which is sharing your passion. And that's typically what you might be sharing on social media or maybe what you're doing work wise. I'd love to have a conversation about that. Do you want to get the ball rolling? Or if you give me a topic, then I can help. Yeah. I definitely am super blessed to be living my purpose every day, and that's really connecting, I think serving young people and I think just helping to make this world a better place, a more peaceful place for young people to grow up in. And so I think all my work is rooted in that space, and I get to do it through the work of TKF and the Sarkinesa Foundation. And so I lost my brother really tragically 26 years ago to gun violence, gang violence. And my father founded the Sauerk Mesa Foundation initially just to prevent other families from kind of suffering the way our family had suffered. But if you rewind to when my brother was still alive, I majored in sociology with an emphasis in juvenile delinquency. I kind of always knew I think my soul probably always knew that I would be doing this work. I never knew that I would be doing it in my brother's name. Right. But I think being a young girl in the US, going to schools, being a woman of color was really challenging for me. And I was bullied a lot in school. So was my brother. And so I think I kind of shut down as a child. But it was a teacher that really inspired me to embrace who I am and embrace my strengths and help me find my voice and find my inner confidence. And that moment for me in middle school, I said I was going to do this for other kids one day. I wanted to be a youth advocate. I wanted to give a voice to young people that didn't feel like they had a voice. And the criminal justice system, even as an 18, 1920 year old College student, always didn't seem okay to me. And I felt like it was a system that was really failing. And I was really interested in that piece of it within sociology. And so I think losing my brother to a 14 year old gang member really dropped me to my knees in so many ways for a long time, I was definitely in some really dark places. But I think my father found forgiveness, and he started the foundation, and he reached out to Tony, who killed my brother's grandfather, and they created this beautiful foundation. And I remember three years after the foundation was founded, my father said, don't you want to come and work here? Is it what you always wanted to do? And I just had to kind of take that first step of peeling off that first layer of forgiveness for myself because I knew holding on to anger, holding on to resentment, staying kind of in a victim space. I kind of didn't really want to live life that much anymore without my brother. So I had to go through my own process. But I'm so glad I did. In 1998, three years after TKF was founded, I joined the staff, and it was the best thing I could have ever done. And I was working and living my purpose, engaging with young people, helping to develop programs to make sure that we help put them on the path of opportunity, the path of healing. I'm blessed that I wake up every day. I'm probably too attached to the one. Well, it makes sense, though. It's a family affair in the sense that your dad and place. Am I saying his name right? Okay. Your dad is Azim. And plus Felix is Tony's grandpa. Yes. And anytime I think of your family's story, I mean, I already can feel the tears are starting.
Participant #1:
No words I can come up with truly would do it justice. But the model of forgiveness that your dad showed and shared with, honestly, the rest of the world, this goes beyond San Diego, really. People know about this all over. He likely would never have known he would be in that situation of having to give that level of forgiveness. And yet he was able to do that. And you saw him do that, and you maybe weren't really fully ready because you were sort of processed. You had your own timeline. You don't have the same timeline. But I do find it remarkable, as does the rest of the world that knows about your story, that your dad arrived at that place pretty early on. Pretty early on, I have to say, from what I know, it is astounding his level of and the word you use compassion for yourself. And then as I pan out of your life and I look down at all the pieces and your grandmas and what they left behind for you and then your brother and then your major sociology with the youth delinquency component. This is divine, in my opinion. Do you know what I mean? The way it just all kind of just fit together so well for your life to do this great thing that you had in you from a little girl, but you didn't know how it was going to manifest. Yeah, we don't you hear it all the time, that everything happens for a reason. All of our experience shape us. We have to trust time and space. And I think that's the spiritual lens piece that we have to just understand that. I think everything what I studied in University and what I went through as a child, I also volunteered at my moth with youth programs and had to fundraise for some of those programs. And then I landed in the corporate world after University. I wanted to take a year off before I went back to grad school because I remember Thor, my brother used to tease me and was like, what are you going to do with an undergrad sociology degree? You're going to be a receptionist. That's what he said. And I laughed at him and I said, well, I was. That was my first job, actually. I did that. And I kind of worked my way up at this big, kind of multimagazine, big corporate firm and ended up becoming a print buyer and all these things. But I think my corporate experience around business combined with kind of the service piece from my mosque and then with the education piece around sociology was, like, totally set me up to come work at PKF. Like, you didn't realize it at the time, but you're like, wow, okay. Yeah. For me, it's not a coincidence that all the pieces lined up so well. And the fact that you were able to arrive at that place of being open to what was happening, but you had to work through it, which is totally understandable. And now it's a joy for you. I can see it on your face. You come to work, you get to do this work in his honor. Let's talk a little bit more about the work, okay? Because not everybody knows what restorative justice is. Can you kind of walk us through that? Your definition would be way better than mine. Well, I mean, the work that TKS does, and then I can kind of tie in the restorative justice piece of it. But what TKS does is we partner with schools to implement educational programs rooted in social emotional learning and restorative practices and restorative justice, and we do that through four different program. But I think the restorative piece for TKF is really a mindset. What does it mean to have a restorative mindset and a restorative mindset is really the importance of first building and thinking about each other as community. Restorative goes back to Indigenous practices. We have been integrating it into our Western society now, but it really goes back around if we are all in community and if someone in our community is hurting, like the criminal justice world, when that happens, you push them out of the circle. We push them out of the circle. Oftentimes we lock them up, right? And then we release them without any kind of support or repair or healing. And we try to throw them back into a circle where others around them are still really mad and angry and hurt, and there's, like, no healing that happens. So I think with the restorative mindset, the easiest way for me to think about that is like, no. When someone's hurting, there's conflict, there's harm, there's tension or strain. You lean them in closer into the circle. Maybe you even put them in the middle of the circle and you help support them in finding those pieces in them where they can overcome, where they can gain clarity, where they can connect, I think we call it to their cellular space. And that's a term my dad coined. But where right and wrong live and where our system lives and where clarity lives. And then we do the repair and the healing so they get integrated back in healthy ways. And so integrating that into school system has been a really core of our programming. How do we help schools build this culture of community? And how do we see behavior or poor choices? How do we see that as a red flag to really unpack what's really going on? So if we get to the root of what's happening, then how do we provide the tools, the resources and the support to make sure that that individual is going to be okay and that we help them heal so they can kind of stay on that path of opportunity for themselves? So in the criminal justice system, restorative justice is yet helping to heal victim. It's helping to also heal offender. It's also helping. It also is healing community. Right. It's all those pieces. But the biggest piece of that is how do you help support and heal the person that's caused the harm? How do you help integrate them back into society and support them on that journey? And I think that's the one thing that our story, the model of our story has been an amazing teaching tool because we continue to pour into Tony. We didn't give up on Tony Hicks. He was the first 14 year old in the state of California to be tried as an adult. That was a decision that my father was very against. He actually advocated that he at least got parole. And of course, my father's forgiveness for Tony happened very quickly. He met Tony only five years after Darwin was killed. We had staff members and board members continue to support Tony while he was incarcerated because it goes back to what we feed grow, right. If we are going to feed anger and resentment and hatred, that's what would grow in Tony. So if we were going to feed forgiveness and compassion and empathy and understanding and second chances, that's what we are going to grow. And for me, like, for me, it took me longer. You know, I was at the foundation for the first from like 1998 to 2003. And even though I forgave Tony. And I think peeled off that first layer, I didn't have a relationship with him. My forgiving Tony was for myself. So I could open up space in my heart to truly do the work of the foundation and honor my brother. He was not someone that was in my psyche, I guess so much. I didn't wish him any ill will. I didn't hold any anger or resentment for him anymore, but I had no desire to have a relationship with him. I just kept doing the work and serving kids and serving my brother. And I healed more, and I healed more. And I peeled off more layers of empathy, more layers of compassion. And then I left the foundation for almost ten plus years staff. I stayed involved with the board, but I got married. I had three kids. I was really focused on my family. And then I went through, like, a really painful divorce. And that experience fueled me back into TKF. I was going through my divorce, and the TKF was like, Will you come back and take the helm again? And it was one of those moments in my life where I was like, what? No, I can't come back. Like, I'm going through one of the most painful things in my life. And I had a mentor tell me, maybe that's why you need to go back. Oh, my gosh. I think TKF saved me in so many ways. I think I was able to pour my heart and soul into something that I loved for me to meet Tony. So in 2015, I met Tony for the first time. After 20 years, I went to prison, met him for the first time. And fast forward to this moment. He's one of the most important people in my life. He's my soul brother, and I advocated three years before his parole hearing for him to be released. But I think with Tony when he was released, we stay true to that. Okay. How do we first ensure Tony gets out? Because that was a big goal. Once he's out, how do we support him in his journey? Being outside the system, someone that's been in the system from 14 to 38? How do you support that person back into and so that's been an important part for our family and for the organization. And now he gets to kind of come back and help heal the community that I think was so harmed when this happened. So everything we do with TKS is part of our RJ journey because it's all part of us. Healing communities. Oh, my goodness. Your family story. And Tony's extended family and extended family. Again, the words, it's so beautiful, even in its sadness and grief. And none of you would have signed up for this. Why would you? It makes no sense. And yet you've taken that grief and you're turning it into so much good for Tony, which is huge, and then modeling that to everyone else. But now the extra added layer of trying to get those kids at those formative years to understand, well, there's actually another way, a different way. And I think we would both say a better way of dealing with emotions or conflict or all of that. And I like the fact that your organization, you're not just looking at the restorative justice side, which is kind of after the fact. In a way, it's really let's get the kids before they're even there before they're at that place. Let's get them before then because you do a lot with I can't remember what your program is about peace. And then you have a conflict resolution program, too. Right. Tell us what the four programs are called as we wrap up here. So we have an assembly based program which is like a 60 minutes program that really has the story at the core, but really talks about the importance of choices and the importance of making sure that we deal with our anger in healthy ways. And that an eye for an eye. Right. What Mahatma Gandhi says will make the whole world blind. So how do we see forgiveness and second chances and Grace and build empathy as a way to deal with harm or conflict that's happened. So really planting those seeds and then the importance of support, like, they don't walk this alone. There's people that care. We care. We're here because we care. We love you, we care. We don't want you to go down this path. So that kind of plants the seed and oftentimes it's a demon place on stage together or me and Tony on stage together. So they kind of see this, like, live example that it is possible to transcend the worst thing you've done or transcend the most painful thing that's happened to you and come together for the greater good. Right. For the greater good, to see humanity in each other always right. And so it's kind of planting that seed and then it moves into we've created a ten session curriculum developed for fifth through 9th grade that really take these pieces of the assembly but really break it down into lessons for kids to give them the tools that they need to really acknowledge their feelings, process their feelings, you know, understand that their needs and feelings and behaviors are all connected, which is always a big AHA moment for them. And so sometimes we make poor choices or we act out in harmful ways to others in ourselves because we're hurting and hurt people. Hurt people. Right. So if we can have that be at our core. And our goal is to help kids move through that piece of healing within themselves and give them the right tools and skills that they need to manage. Life is not even keel. There's ups and downs and pain and sorrow and conflict and external circumstances that they did not choose. So how do they handle that and learn to kind of find that peace within themselves? And so that usually then leads to us launching we do launch peace clubs at school. That's right. It's very leadership focused. So you have young people that may have been kind of going down a tough path, a destructive path, but they have these amazing leadership skills and they are smart and they sometimes rally people around doing wrong. And once they realize why they're doing that and that they could do the same thing and rally people around affecting change, helping to dismantle some of the inequities, dismantle some of the systems in their communities and schools that are not serving them to be change agents, team builders is really like why we wake up at GPS, I think, in so many ways. And then we have an individual mentoring program. So we also place mentors on school campuses to work with students more individually and more holistically. Like, let's look at what's going on at home. Let's look at what's going on in the classroom with a very restorative lens. So restorative is really around when something happens or there's a behavior. The first question is what happened and how did that make you feel? And what needs to happen to make things okay. And oftentimes it's as not simple, but it's as informative for kids to say, I slept on the floor all night. I didn't have breakfast this morning. I have anxiety about my parents losing their job. Kids don't behave just because they want to upset their teacher. Right. And we don't ask enough questions around why. And we don't think about how do I pull you up out of the situation and help you be okay so you can go back into that class and get the knowledge that you need.
Participant #1:
So those are our core programs. And then we developed a parenting program with the Greater Good Science Center out of Berkeley. So we have a Restorative parenting program that also gives parents a different lens to parent with because sometimes we think about discipline as punishment. But really, discipline is growth, right? Yeah. Discipline is an opportunity for growth. Yes, absolutely. That's what Restorative is really about. How do we evolve? How do we grow? How do we strengthen our family bonds? How do we lean in and not push out? Oh, my goodness. This is just so much there's so much Marvel at what you all are doing. And I don't understand why every school district across the nation is not making this, I don't want to say mandatory in a bad way, but folding it into the essential core curriculum. Right. I mean, it makes perfect sense to me. I'd rather that my child or children learn these things than something else that they're never really even going to need later in life because that's not their particular direction. I mean, I'm all for a well rounded education, for sure, but why not have this, which is a real life component that they will need no matter what they do and who they are? Why not be able to rely on that as part of the foundation? Yeah. I mean, I think it's one thing that we're really advocating for. I think TKS kind of has this our program bucket, our direct programming, what we do, especially within San Diego County. We have mentors in schools. We're teaching curriculum and classes. We have our training in. So we train teams outside of San Diego County to implement our programming. That's correct. We have that piece of it. But then we have our advocacy piece around social emotional learning integration and why it's so important that it's not considered an add on school. It has to be part of the core curriculum. It has to be part of the mental hygiene that kids need. It has to be integrated because kids are living in very different times than we grew up in or we lived in. And I think we're living in such a tough climate in our country right now as well. This piece is really crucial for young people and so needed. I mean, they kept coming back from the pandemic with anxiety, anxiety, social isolation, depression. They are academically challenged because because they missed sometimes two full years of in person school. And that's where you really see the inequity gap, because a lot of young people didn't have the same access. The access was not the same. And so when the access is not the same, you have young people coming back with very different levels academically within the same grade or grades. And those are challenges for young people. They feel a sense of worthlessness. They start to develop a lack of confidence within themselves. They feel like they're not smart, and they go through all this negative chatter, and it spirals them down into some really deep holes. And so I think the social emotional piece is so crucial. Well, I am going to continue, obviously, to support TKF, not only appreciate and value the story, which is more than a story, it's a reality of what your family went through. And then, of course, the way that you've really let that fuel kind of what you learn from that experience and how you want it to be in the world you are actually living, that you are doing, that you are being that. And for that, I thank you. You have my continued support for sure. Thank you for taking the time to come on the show and let us know about you and about the work that your family is doing and Tony is doing and plus is doing. I think you feel like they're all family. Right? It's a miracle, really. I think it's a miracle all that has gone on in your brother's name. And I have no doubt that he somewhere somehow knows of this goodness and is beyond delighted and joyous over the work that you all are doing in his name.
Participant #1:
Yeah, I'm a fan. I'm a huge fan. We appreciate your support so much. Thank you. Well, you got it for highlighting our work. Yes, it is. Inviting me to sit here and chat with you. It's my pleasure. It's an honor to know of your story and to share it with others. And I do not even on this platform. But my father this morning, he was here to celebrate his birthday, and I was telling him I get to have this conversation later today with Task Green and let me explain to you all of that and what that means. And I told the story, and I got teary eyed, and I was like, I love the work they do. So, yeah, I'm definitely a mouthpiece for what you guys are doing. Thank you. You're welcome. All right, well, I'll get this all together, and I'll let you know when it's out. Yeah, we'll share it, too. Thank you, Kathryn. Thank you so much. Okay. And may you continue to do wonderful, amazing, mighty things in his name. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. All right. Chat with you later. Bye.
Participant #1:
Tkf seeks to help the youth find different and better ways to cope with feelings that lead to choices that aren't always good. She knows firsthand the impact this can have on a family. Isn't it something that immeasurable goodness can come from such profound tragedy? I applaud the healing restoration and the work done here. I hope one day there will be a larger awakening to consider this model essential learning for the wellness of our community. Thank you TKF for all you do in terik's name. The Anabashedou website has a page for each guest filled with photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio@unabashedu.com. You can find the show and other podcast platforms want to lend your support and encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under Unavashidou if you want to connect. The email is unabashed you@gmail.com for questions, comments and anything else. If you want to be part of our weekly emailing list highlighting the week's episode, give us a shout. We'd be happy to add you and your info will never be shared. Website visits, social media and word of mouth and sharing these episodes makes us discoverable so thanks for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think celebrate who you are and move you in some way. Be encouraged as you continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing. Thank you for Tarek. Although his life was not nearly as long as we'd like he bears a legacy of forgiveness and healing. May we want that may we seek peace help us to restore all that is unnecessarily lost by choosing for there we will find healing Amen now go be an abashed be you.
Jen Haddix and I collaborated. I went on her show, Self-love Yogi, and she came on Unabashed You. You heard her in episode 84 Start by Healing Yourself. After listening to the episode on her show, I thought UY listeners would benefit from our conversation.
This time with Jen reminds me to do the work of healing, to offer grace to those who are doing their best, which is hopefully everyone in your life, and to be confident in who you are. Apologies are for behavior not for being you.
Here is our conversation on Jen’s show through Spotify: Let's Stop Saying Sorry with Rechelle.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT (not edited for errors)
Participant #1:
Welcome to Unabashed U Conversations. To become who you already are. The focus at UI is to be who you are without apology, for you are one of a kind, without equal. Be encouraged, as these conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way your companion to the whimsy and beauty of the human spirit. Rochelle Condy. Now, Jen Haddocks and I collaborated. I went on her show Selflove Yogi and she came on Unabashed You. You heard her in episode 84. Start by healing yourself. After listening to the episode on her show, I thought UI listeners would benefit from our conversation.
Participant #1:
Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Self Lavioki Podcast. Today's episode is another interview episode, and I had Rochelle Renee from Unabashed You podcast. On my podcast, we did a little collaboration, and in our conversation, we talked a lot about the dreaded word sorry and how women especially tend to be really over apologetic and use justifying language. And we talked a lot about why that happens, how to curb it, how to start to bring awareness into it. It is admittedly, one of my biggest bad habits is apologizing for everything. I still do it. I still work on this to this day. And so I really, really enjoyed this conversation. I hope you like it as much as I did. I put everything in the show notes about how you can contact her if you're interested. And here we go. Okay. Welcome, Rochelle, to the Self Pave Yogi podcast. This is Rochelle from Unabashed You podcast. And I've invited her to be on mine, and I just think she's got some wonderful Nuggets to share with us that go along the same line of self love that I like to share. We're very aligned mentally and spiritually, I think. And so I think it's going to be a really good conversation. How are you today? I am doing really well. It's an honor to be here. I'm excited about our collaboration. You came on my podcast, and now I'm coming on yours. Why not? I know. I love it so much, and I love collaborating and sharing. And I was just talking to her on her podcast about there's no need to have that lack mindset. We're all in this together, sharing her beautiful gifts. And so it's really cool to have you here. Absolutely. My pleasure. So we're just going to start off I just want you to tell me about you, your podcast, what it is that you're doing and how you got here. Okay. That's wonderful. I am a native San Diego, so I live in San Diego, California. That's kind of a fun fact. And I'm part of a blended family of kids that are his, mine, ours, and theirs. So that's kind of a fun fact to there. And through my career, I was a classroom teacher. I worked in children's theater for another huge chunk of my career, bringing performing arts programs to students all over our county, hiring, teaching artists, mentoring them, writing scripts, being the face of that part of the company. Wonderful time. Had a great time. I kind of got this slow burning kind of nudge and yearning about twelve years ago or so when the podcast thing kind of I'm sure it started a little bit before that. But around that time, I started listening to a podcast, and I was like, this is really a new, weird, different thing, right? And I kind of had it in the back of my mind that'd be really cool to do sometime. And then you just sort of dismissed a little nudge, right? Time goes on. Time goes on. I'm loving what I'm doing. I realize I'm heading into act three here of my life, and what do I want to do with my act three? And I realize I've spent a lot of years with kids, which has been wonderful. I've spent a lot of years nurturing, teaching artists of varying ages. I love that. And now what sort of life that I want to play with? And that podcast notion came back to the forefront in a huge way. And it became just a burning desire, like, oh, my gosh, well, what would I call it? What would it be about? I mean, those creative things. And then right before Gosh, right before Cope had hit, I had my exit strategy for the job I was at, and I ended up moving that up because of Copen. Now when you have Copen and schools are suddenly closing, you can't do performances for your parents anymore. So my job ended in that way. I was just three months more going to leave anyway. And they knew that it was all very wonderful, and they knew I had more that I wanted to try. So it just sped up my timeline and of course, the awfulness of COVID, for sure, where I don't want to discount the devastation, the deaths, all of that, and the lingering effects of it still a horrible time of world history. I mean, we all went through this together, really, in that time, so many people, I think, rediscovered, discovered themselves, I think, in hopefully a good and healthy way, which is what I did. I didn't live in a state of fear. I just chose like, okay, I'm going to do the smart things, but then that's all I can do. I'm not going to wallow in a place of worry and handwriting and being on the news 24/7. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do the smart things, and I'm going to move forward. And that's how unabashed you got started. That's the super long winded answer. Now, the thing I really wanted to speak into was a very paralleling your arena of self love, which is this idea that actually originally the show was designed to be for women. Okay? And it was unabashed. You women talking about stuff. That was the tagline, right. As time went on, I realized that men were listening and they were like, Whoa, wait a minute. What you're saying is not just specific to women. It also applies to us. And I went, oh, okay. And then we ended up the tagline now being conversations to become who you already are. I love that. Isn't that great? So good. And I love my platform knows how I feel about men and women. There's a lot of coaches in the online space that only coach women. I personally think that men need healing, too, and I like inviting them into any space that I can. I do have primarily female listeners, but there are men there, and I want to be you've got a space as well where they can listen and go, oh, okay. That applies to me as well. And I can apply that to my own life. Right. So the whole idea behind it was to have almost a movement of please be who you are fully and don't apologize for that. I noticed amongst my friend groups and just culturally, particularly as women, we apologize for so many things. I do it all the time. Yup. Yes. And so that was part of the realization I had was we've got to stop apologizing for all these things. And one of the funniest illustrations of this for me. And you're way too young for this reference, but Mary Tyler Moore show, I remember her. Okay. Actually, I didn't really watch, but I remember her. Yeah, okay. It's a classic show. It's on one of the streaming platforms I highly recommended. Jerry Seinfeld has called it one of his favorite show of all time. High praise. Mary is being interviewed by the rough and tumble Lou Grant, played by Ed. Asner for those of us who might know who that is, she bumps into a desk and she looks to the desk and says, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. She apologizes to the desk. And he was like, what just happened? You apologize to a desk? Who is this? So that's kind of a funny illustration of a point. And taking it to its extreme that we as particularly as women, men have their own set of stuff, but I can't speak fully into that. We are too apologetic. Now, am I saying that you should never apologize? No, I'm not saying that sometimes when we choose a behavior or have a pattern of poor behavior, that's a place to apologize. I'm so sorry that I was short with you just that then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's the time to apologize for behavior that wasn't the best it could have been. But to be who you are. No, we're not going to apologize for that. I'm not going to apologize for being animated or all that sometimes. And I'm not going to apologize when I need to recharge. And I'm saying to my husband, okay, got to have quiet time. I need my quiet time. And then he better understand, like, I am an introvert now, would you know that right now? No, you would not know that you could charge by yourself. I need, like chunks of quiet and alone and all of that. I know that better about myself now. I don't need to apologize for that. I'm not an extrovert. I have moments of animation and fun and all of that. But that doesn't energize me. Anyway, you're speaking to something that I think we might have found our topic that we really want to lean into today, because just as a side note, because I am right and I'm finding that as I get older, the less I want to apologize for myself. And so I'm 36. One of my best friends is 38. We talk about how the closer we get to 40, we're getting closer to having the buckets where we're just not as invested in what other people think of us. And so do you feel like that is something that has gotten better for you with 100%? Oh, absolutely. And it just goes back to the big theme or notion or I want it to be a reality, not just an idea, but that you get to be you. You are one of a kind. You are without equal. So why should you apologize for that? And if someone doesn't is not into that? Well, that's not your problem. Yeah, they're not your people. They're them and not everybody messages to everybody. And that's okay. I think if you are respectful and kind, it's all good. It's all good. So where do you think that that compulsive need, especially for women, but I know men probably do it, too, but I have found that men don't apologize nearly as much as we do. In my experience, my boyfriend is very much unapologetic. Like, he's very sweet and kind, but he's very masculine and he doesn't really apologize for anything. It's awesome. I learned from him. But where do you think our compulsive need to say sorry comes from? I think if I really stop and think about it, it's probably originated in a people pleasing place. And when we look at studies and I wish I could cite them and I won't be able to, and that's okay. But they talk about in, like, the classroom, how at first girls and boys are fully themselves and they raise their hand in equal numbers. And then as years go on, the girls don't raise their hands as much as the boys. So something kind of shifts and starts happening. I don't exactly know what the message that we receive as girls, but I don't know. I think part of it is people pleasing. Part of it's fully gender related. And I think that's one of the reasons why studies also show other studies that if girls go to an all girls high school, that kind of goes away. That affects a primal thing going on there, too, because there is sort of that like masculine, feminine. And just from like a I can't cite anything very well either. So I don't have any studies to cider any scientific. But just like looking back on just sort of the roles of men and the roles of women over history, I wonder if it's sort of like a nurture versus nature type thing where there's a little bit of it nurtured and a little bit of it is just nature, and then we just kind of fall into that, which is like, I'm sure it's fine for some things, but clearly in the world we live in now, it's not necessary to behave that way anymore. Right. So it's an interesting thing. Well, and another point that kind of is another facet of this is qualifying language. This is something else that women do. And this is something that a guest who's a young woman who was one of the teaching artists I hired and worked with back in that career I had on the show, and she talked about somebody that she knew that was teaching her to stop with the qualifying language. Notice how many, in addition to saying you're sorry for things, and I'm not talking about behavior. Sure. Notice how often we say, just, I was just doing this, or if you're late for something, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just had to. And she says now she intentionally will say thank you for being so patient while I ran late. And it just shifts the whole thing. So every time she has to type something out, she goes back and she says, if I put in the word just and it really doesn't belong, I take it out. And same with speaking and this whole notion of qualifying language, I thought, oh, my gosh, that is so good. What does that mean exactly? Qualifying language? Because you're qualifying it. You're saying, oh, I just had to do that last thing. And it puts you in this position of almost coming across as less than I appreciate you being so patient and waiting for me. That is more of like an equal stance. Yeah. It feels full and it feels good as opposed to coming, oh, I'm so sorry. They just had an accent on the previous time. I don't know. I don't know. I can't even fully articulate it. I just know since I talked to her, I paid great attention to that kind of language that I use and really trying to take it out. And again, Ing, we talked about this on a Badge of you podcast. How ing we're always in because we're in the process. We're not done. It's very hard to get to the edges, be comfortable with the fact that the Ed is not exactly right and it's fluid. It's not static. No, not at all. We should probably Google qualifying language and get back to each other with what we found because I don't know enough about it to articulate it much more than I have or much more than the kind of the quick glance she gave to me and shared with the listeners. I just know that it caused a shift in me. And that's one of the reasons I am very fulfilled by doing what I'm doing in the same way you are being fulfilled by what you're doing. Because I am getting all these wisdom Nuggets along with everybody else. And if I don't already know it, I want to impart it and have it become part of who I am and what I do. And if I do know it, I need a reminder on it always because we need to hear things over and over and over again. So if that is true for me, I think that's true for everybody. And sometimes in the parental role or maybe if you're a pet owner, you're like, how many times do I have to say this? Yeah, you have to say it a lot because kids, adults, people need reminders and sometimes it comes differently from different people. Right? So you'll hear something a million times and then somebody else will say the same thing. I'm sure as a parent, you probably are like, why did that work on you? When I said yes, you're like, oh, they said that. Okay, good to know in inward bubble. Oh my gosh, I've said that to you. You've said that I'll hear something in a book. And like the book I'm reading now, I read five years ago, I'm in a different place. I'm hearing it differently. And I think that after this conversation I have never paid attention to my guests and I've always known that sorry was an issue. And so I will be more mindful after hearing this. I learned from all my guests and everything too. So it's absolutely, really cool that this is just a consistent give and take of healing and love and information. And so it's really cool. Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. When you and I spoke on Unabashed, you that episode that will be coming out soon, just that concept of ing is now just so at my forefront. And I really appreciate that. Isn't that cool? I love it. So cool. And I love it too. That's one tool that I guess we could share with people as far as how to maybe soften on the sarees and the qualifying language. And I don't know, do you have anything else, any other negative wisdom around that topic that could maybe help people? I like to try to give people things they can take away from this. Absolutely. 100%. Now I'm going to pay attention if I say just and what else can they do? Well, the sorry and the just, those are really two good things to pay attention to. It's a good place to start or when we're all in process. What am I talking about? Yes. So being unapologetic being full of yourself. Another one, I would think. And I feel it's really important. And this is not around qualifying languages. We're shifting sort of topics, but it's still under that self love, self fulfillment sort of journey. And that is the realization that people do the best they can. And if it wasn't enough for what you wanted or needed, you now need to take that ball and run with it and get what you want or you need it. Okay. I can just apply that directly to being a parent. If I were parenting now, I would do things pretty differently than I did them then, but that's what I need to do at that time. The same thing is true of since we're all here, we all have parents. We may not end up having kids, but we all had parents. Yeah. I can remember reaching this point in my own sort of self journey of realizing the limitations of both my mother and my father and realizing, oh, okay, they did the best they could do at the time. If I have areas of need or want or holes or heartbreak or whatever, it's now my job to finish giving me and speaking into and learning and get therapy or books or journaling or whatever it is for you or all of the above, I'm now responsible for the rest. It wasn't their job. Their job is done. They did what they could do. They did what they knew to do. They did their best. And really, I should honor that by finishing it out myself, not by just so many people are stuck in the past. Stuck. The groove and the record. They just. Oh, gosh, do you even know what? I hope you know what the vinyl is okay. Yeah, just stuck in a groove. Just stuck. And when you listen to them, they can't get out of there's. Payoff in the pain. For whatever reason, there's payoff for them in staying in that place. Yes, there is. And I'm sad. And that almost makes me teary to think that people stay stuck. You don't need to stay stuck. I wouldn't even begin to have the audacity to be able to tell them how to fully get unstuck. I know there are lots of tools and lots of ways to get help. I don't know how you help create a fire under someone like that to want to get unstuck. It's like the horse, the old you can leave the horse alone, but you can't make a drink. Okay. It's that whole thing. Somebody has to want to get unstuck as soon as they want to get unstuck. There's so much that they can do. But there can't be any more payoff in the pain or that has to not be working anymore for them to like, you know what? It's time that person died. 20 years ago, 20 years of my life have gone by. I'm still there, and I don't want to dismiss anybody's grief, because like everyone else, I've got my own. You don't get out of here without experiencing heartbreak. Heartache kind of part of the experience, I think. Grief, yes. Sometimes my butts should be ants. And that's another one I've been really working on is the butt. This is not a but it's an. And I would invite your listeners to when they've gone through something grievous, the death of a loved one, or fill in the blank, whatever that grief is, that trauma is when they're far enough removed in the process and the work that they do in their healing journey to turn around and look behind them and see what good came from that. Is there any good that came from that? And if there is good that came from that, can I name it? Can I claim it? That is huge. I have done that kind of work myself. And it is liberating. Absolutely. It is absolutely freeing. It takes your grief and turns it into the ultimate gift. Because that person that passed, they're not coming back. No. So why not? For why you torture yourself for years and years. Yes. And honestly, would they want that for you? Come on. But you're touching on something really important that I kind of want to circle back to, sort of like you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. And the girl that I had on my podcast last week, we were talking about psychedelics for healing. And we were just talking about how as somebody who is healing like you and I are, and we've got all these tools, and we're watching people suffer, and we just want so badly to help them. If we could just get you to see these amazing tools, you wouldn't have to suffer. But it's not really up to us. Right. And that's something that I think is really hard for all of us with the people that we love. And a quote that she quoted Ram Das, and I'm going to Butcher it. And it was beautiful. Just about the best thing that you can do for me is heal yourself. And the best thing I can do for you is heal myself. And through that mutual healing. So people will heal just by watching you. And even if they're not ready to meet you at your level, you're probably not ready to meet somebody else at their own level. We can heal each other by just being examples and doing our best because that's all we have control over. Yes. Snap, snap, snap, snap. Love it. But I think it's a really cool thing that you've brought that up, because it is hard because I know a lot of people are hurting because they are feeling victimized by their past. And it's hard for them to let it go. And it's hard for them to look at their parents as unhealed people who did their best. But that is the work. That is the work. That's the work. That is the work. And honestly, we both know if you don't do the work, you stay stuck and you don't get the most out of this experience of this thing we call life. Exactly. So I think it's a really powerful negative wisdom that I really hope can resonate with anybody. And it's hard, too, because I know when you're in it, I'm sure a few years ago you've been in it before where you're just in your shit. And it doesn't look like there's a way out. If you just take little tiny baby steps of some kind every day, you will eventually get yourself out. Absolutely. I agree with you all the way. And yeah, you have to have that desire to want to get out. You do. Nobody can give that to you. No. My whole audience knows my story about my mom. But that was one of the things that my mom was a drug addict. We put her in rehab. We tried so hard to help her. She did not want to be helped. Right. There you go. And that was one of the biggest lessons. And I was like, okay, so you cannot force people. And she was there for a reason. She died early for a reason. She came on Earth. And I don't regret it at all. And so if you can look at the people in your life and just go, okay, like you said, the parents are doing the best they can with what they have. And when you're a kid, you don't have those tools. But when you're an adult, you do. So you can take the ball and you can run it to that yardline, whatever that looks like for you. And you can give yourself. Absolutely. And a lot of that's awareness. And hopefully through conversations like this that will help share and shed some light on that awareness so that people might be like, oh, wait a minute. That might apply to me and start kind of that sense of thinking. And I love the word pondering. And they can kind of ponder it and then maybe do something with it. Yeah, exactly. And you're just planting little seeds. So my podcast, these conversations, anything you do, it's just a little seed. Yes. Amen love that consciousness. Right. So I have loved this so much. And I want you to just do a little bit of shameless self promotion. You can tell us where to find you and how to listen to your stuff. If you website any of that, just tell us all about it. All right. If any of this spoke to you and you would like to hop on over to Unabashed you. That's the name of the show. It's on most every podcast platform there is. There are so many, it's hard to keep up. I understand that. Same place for Facebook and Instagram, same name. And for some reason, we'd like to email me anabashidou@gmail.com. So it's all pretty self explanatory. We welcome new listeners and want everybody to be who they are without apology. Yes, and I will put all of that in the show notes in case you can't spell on a batch of you or you don't remember and you want to look at it later, it will all be there for you anyway. So wonderful. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Honestly, truly thank you for this collaboration, for coming up with this idea because I think we were both very blessed by the collaboration experience. Thank you. Thank you very much. All right, take care. Talk soon.
Participant #1:
This time with Jen reminds me to do the work of healing to offer Grace to those who are doing their best, which is hopefully everyone in your life and to be confident in who you are. Apologies are for behavior, not for being you. The Unabashed U website has a page for each guest filled with photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio@unabashedu.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under Unabashed you if you want to connect. The email is unabashedyou@gmail.com for questions, comments and anything else. If you want to be part of our weekly emailing list highlighting the week's episode, give us a shout. We'd be happy to add you and your info will never be shared. Website visits, social media and word of mouth in sharing these episodes makes us discoverable. So thanks for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. Be encouraged as you continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now for our blessing, we ask for healing. We ask to be whole we ask to be fully who we are and to share what we have with others. If we do, then we are all woven together beautifully and can do all kinds of things so go forward and be that do that be an abashed be you Amen.
Melody has lots of energy by her own admission. Instead of following the typical American retirement route, she takes her passion and encourages others by serving in Africa. She and her husband spend the majority of their time doing what they can to make a difference. Wow!
I was struck by the degree of sacrifice Melody, lovingly, is willing to give. Her faith allows her to stay optimistic even when times are dark and difficult. I’m not sure I could do what she does. I am thankful there are people who commit themselves to that thing they feel compelled to do. I know we all have something we need to share, and it takes all of us to do that unique thing to make it all work better. To make us better.
You can find Melody on IG at Melody Taylor, and the non-profit website is Go Near for more on her work in Africa.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT (not edited for errors)
Participant #1:
Welcome to Unabashed You conversations to become who you already are. The focus at UI is to be who you are without apology, for you are one of a kind, without equal. Be encouraged, as these conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way your companion to the whimsy and beauty of the human spirit. Rochelle Kindy Now, by her own admission, Melody has lots of energy. Instead of following the typical American retirement route, she takes that passion and encourages others by serving in Africa, so much so that she and her husband spend the majority of their time there doing what they can to make a difference. Wow.
Participant #1:
Today's Buy Request guest is Melody Taylor. We connected through Instagram and a natural affection for Carla B. Singer Instagram coach. Here's what I know so far. Melody has a heart for Africa and for Africa's children. I'm eager to find out how that started and how she's making a difference. Welcome to the show, Melody. Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here. Oh, I'm so happy to have you. It's so wonderful to think that because of technology, we can connect with people all over, which is one of the good sides of technology, right? That's right. Is there anything you want the listeners to know about you to start? Well, maybe it would be helpful to know my age and kind of a little bit about family, background, whatever you want. I'm 60 years old, but still with a lot of energy because I'm doing what I'm really passionate about doing at this. .4 adult children, three grandchildren. I live in Arkansas, in northwest Arkansas, and for a little bit of the time, but spend a majority of our time in Africa. And then over a period of 17 years, we've had our footprint in Africa as well. And so it's challenging at times to get on an airplane and go across the world and to really work and serve among people that are in extreme poverty. And yet it's extremely rewarding and fulfilling to be able to do this at this point in our lives as well. We're empty nesters, and we're not doing the typical American retirement way. Instead, we're just going to try and do all that we can to help benefit others. That's a little bit about me, and I look forward to coming back to that in a few minutes. When we get to the deep dive, what three words would you use to describe yourself? Well, I'll tell you what I did. I went to the strength finders test, which I don't know if you're familiar with it. I've heard of it. I've heard of it. Yes. It is one of the best tools that we have been able to put our hands on that describes you. And so the three top words on that test are an achiever that I really like to do things of significance. Next one is developer that I like to develop people. I like to encourage people to see what their potential is and kind of put some wind in their sales so that they can succeed. And then another one is just kind and compassionate that I care about people. And so all that just plays into what has happened over the years and what's happening now. Okay. So those three words that you got from strength finders those really resonate with what you actually for. Kind and compassionate, those really resonate with you to you. It's like. Well, yeah, I would say that. That is me. Okay. Wonderful. Have you ever played Two Truths Been Alive where you say three things? Yes. Okay. Wonderful. Then I don't need to explain anymore. Okay. Tell me the three things. Let's see if I can figure it out. I'm going to go like this. I'm going to say three things that I love, and then you're going to have to figure out which one falls. I love chocolate. I love children. And I love brisk cold weather.
Participant #1:
Okay. I love children. Chocolate. I love children. I love brisk cold weather. Okay. I'm going to set the children aside because I sort of think you already love children. So I'm going to set that one aside. Okay. So now we've got chocolate and brisk cold weather. I don't know too many women that don't love chocolate. So I'm going to go by virtue of elimination, if you do not like brisk cold weather. That's right. That's the lie. That's okay. It's just for fun. It's a fun way to get to know you because Arkansas is not known for brisk cold weather. Correct? Correct. Okay. You do have this lovely little not I don't know if I do sparsely an accent, but some of the words that you say you have a little bit of. Do you notice that? Yeah, I just can't get away from it. Yes. But why should you? Why should you? I love that reaction. I love that reaction. Okay. One of your favorite movies of all time. Sound Of Music. Sound Of Music. There's part of me that really wants to be Julie Andrews in life. She brought joy and laughter and love to these children, and then she brought unity and a family, and then they were just blessing so many people. I love the scene where she's up in the trees with the children and they're wearing the drapes. And so I find myself kind of being that person a little bit in Africa, singing songs with children and bringing joy to their faces. We work with orphans. Those children were somewhat orphans. Their father was distant. Right. So anyway, I love that movie. And of course, I love the music. And it's a classic. It is. That's a good one. And we've had a few people say that was their favorite of all time. Name a woman that inspires you. I had several. One is Corey Timbun. Okay. The Hiding Place. Right. And she's known for her writings while being held captive in one of the concentration camps, correct? Yes. During World War II. Yes. And she had such an optimistic attitude. She looked for the best in that situation. And if you haven't read her book, The Hiding Place, it will really put things in perspective. It's very inspiring. And another author that I really like is Amy Carmichael and somewhat of a similar story. She served for over 58 years in India through difficult times. And she helped rescue children, both boys and girls, that were used for prostitution and Hindu worship. And I mean, her story is amazing as well. And then in her latter year, she had had an accident and she was bedridden for many years. But she was the prolific writer during that time. So those are my two favorite authors.
Participant #1:
It is hard to step in those shoes. And I'm trying to imagine myself. Could I be that optimistic? Could I be that hopeful and that cheerful and that loving? Don't know. I'm just glad we're not in that situation. Yes, exactly. It is inspiring. I agree completely. A piece of wisdom you keep handy. Be optimistic, look for the good. There you go. The good in the situation. Short and sweet and very profound. Sometimes the simplest things are the most profound. So you strike me as somebody who's very optimistic. I would say so. Not that I mean, I've had some incredibly dark seasons and challenges, but I think my faith helps me to be optimistic, to look for a bigger good, even when things are difficult and don't go our way, right? Exactly. And being in a third world, developing country among people that are extremely poor, that does help you be more optimistic in our everyday, normal life. We're just fortunate that we have what we have and that we live where we live and have the access to so much in America. We are so very blessed. It's true. So let's go to your deep dive, which I'm just guessing is children in Africa. So let's start with how that started and then which countries you have a fondness for or keep getting called to? Sure. Well, I think my husband and I both had a tendency, even as young adults, towards people that were marginalized. He grew up in one of the poorest areas of Arkansas, I mean, really poor. And then I grew up in another area that had some poor as well. And so we had that commonality that we were drawn towards people that other people looked down on. But then again, once in Little Rock, we started being interested in helping inner city broken families. We saw the need for education and mentoring and some of those things holiday gathering, some of those things that some of those inner families that are broken. A lot of families were without parents and a grandmother was taking care of children. So we with our four children started volunteering in the inner city. And that was good because we did it as a family. Meanwhile, my husband was going on mission trips to Honduras to help build, like, orphan homes or lodging for volunteers in Honduras. He started going outside the country to the developing world to volunteer two weeks out of the year because he was in business. And then we started as a family going to an orphanage in Guatemala. And that really rocked our world. We took our children, 400 orphans in an orphan home. Can you imagine 400? And as you got to know their stories more and more from such abuse and abandonment. But when we go as Americans and we go with suitcases full of things that they would use for Christmas or some of their basic needs books, educational materials, toiletries, feminine products, all those things that we have in access, it just makes a huge difference in their lives. And then it makes such a huge difference in our lives. And what happened is that after we took a few trips and people in our area, in our community wanted to go with us. So we started a non profit called Go Near Ministry. And it really meant going near to orphans and widows in distress, going near to people in extreme poverty with ourselves bodily to show love and care and listen, come alongside, and then be able to bring tangible things that they needed to help them be stronger. And it grew. And we started having these garage sales to raise money because we weren't rich. We were just a regular old family in Arkansas, and people would donate all their things. And we had these multiple garage sales over time so that our family of six could afford the plane tickets to go serve in the orphanage and then others that wanted to go with us. So then it ended up that we take teams of 40 people at a time with two suitcases, each full of donations. Wow. Several times a year. But then what happened? We ended up being invited to go to a training weekend for trips of volunteers that go to Africa. And I was sitting in the training session and watching a PowerPoint and saw the needs of orphans in Africa. There are just millions upon millions of orphans in Africa with no governmental assistance. And their plight was so desperate. And I was in my 40s, and I'm like, I had no idea. And it was as if God was telling us that we need to go as a family and plant ourselves in Africa with this organization in an orphan village that had a school and help out in the school. But also while I was there, be like a journalist and through social media report on the life of an orphan and report on what it's like to do mission work or volunteer work in Africa. And so we did that. And it just really rocked our world to be among the poor, the poor, but also to see the difference it makes by being there and the joy that they have by that interaction and how a little bit goes a long way there. So we moved in 2007 into the orphan village with three of our four children. And then there was a war and civil unrest, and we had to evacuate to come home for safety. And then we went back again and lived there and then came back to the US just with four children with different needs. We've gone back and forth. And then what happened is that young people that were in my children's sphere, they asked if they could go volunteer. Our first trip of volunteers over to Africa were like 13 and 14 year olds. I couldn't believe it, but they went and they kept going. So year after year, some of these same kids grew up going to Africa and serving, and now they're in College, and now they've graduated from College. And some of them have started nonprofits of their own. Wow. Some of them switch their degrees so they could be nurses or occupational therapist or physical therapists so that they could go back on those breaks and give their skills on short term missions or longer to the real poor. And so it's been really cool to see all that happen. It was nothing that I planned. And so that's the way it goes, but just taking the next step and taking risk. And then what happened is that as people went with us to Africa, more people saw and knew. And one lady went with me and she saw what we did. She came back to Little Rock and she said, I want to help you raise money for your nonprofit work. And she said, I have this idea where I'm going to invite my friends. And they were all wealthy to come go through their closets, bring their clothes to my home, and we're going to have a shopping event. We're going to shop from each other's closets. We have a wine and cheese party. She goes, I don't know if anybody's going to do it. I don't know. It could be a total flop. And honestly, I thought, this is not going to work because a lot of these ladies, they were so wealthy, they had planes. They could fly to Dallas, they could fly to New York and shop and come back. And I thought, they're not going to do that, but they did, and they loved it. And then more people came, and it just grew into another nonprofit that we started, which was like selling nicer women's clothing and accessories and giving the money to nonprofit work. And we were so successful. It's called Shop My Closet. And then we started another one in northwest Arkansas called Beautiful Lives Boutique. And that non profit now is in three locations and give money every month to ten nonprofits that help women and children locally and globally. And Meanwhile, I spent three years doing that. But then after that, I had to get back to Africa. So now we're doing Africa work. And Beautiful Lives is on its own feet and it's running. Okay. So Beautiful Lives, is that a storefront and what are they? It's three different stores in Arkansas, and we sell the nicest of the nice things that women in this area donate. So it's shoes, jewelry, accessories, purses, designer clothes, workout clothes, regular clothes. And some of the boutiques locally also donate to us. We have donations come in every single day. And then we sell those clothing and it's in a beautiful, like, boutique setting at really discounted prices. And then the profits are given away. Wow. And it's just been a model that's been so good. And it's a model that really comes from me personally because as nonprofit missionaries, I would shop garage sales and thrift stores for my family and for me. And you have to go through a lot and it's stinky. And you don't feel so good when you walk out. And I wanted a place where women could get what they need, either inexpensively or free, and feel good about it. Right. And then the environment is a setting where women who have money and those that don't, you never know. And there's side by side shopping, and then there's women who get things for free. And there are volunteers that volunteer in the shop who are straight out of prison who need volunteer service, and nobody else will give them a chance. And they can come and they can volunteer or College students because we're in a College town, they come and volunteer and it's just such a mixture of people. How is it good? Right. That feels so good. That's just one of the little things. That right. So how is that different from the shop near me or what was the name of that shop? My Closet. Shop. My Closet. How was that different shop? My Closet was started in Little Rock, and that's a different setting. It's not in a College town. It's not in the area of northwest Arkansas. It's very prosperous because of Walmart headquarters is here, Tyson's Food is here, JB Hut, some of the biggest companies and all the vendors around them are here in Northwest Arkansas. So it's just a different feel than it is down in similar concept, but branded differently with different clientele. Got it. Okay. Let's go back to Africa. Okay. Yes. So you try to live there. It sounds like as much as finances and family obligations and all those sorts of things will allow. Can you share with us which country or countries that kind of really have pulled your heart? Because it's a very large continent. That much I remember. That's exactly right. Well, we have spent most time in Kenya. Okay. And Kenya is in East Africa. That's where we've lived for the greatest amount of time. Stationed in Nairobi is a big city where the United Nations is. And so there's a lot of Western influence, but from that, then you can travel to more remote areas in Kenya. So we've been there most of our time. We've also served in Rwanda, and that's been a great fit for us, too. But it's a lot smaller of a country. And then recently, because of covet, no country was open to visitors during covet except for Tanzania. Tanzania is huge, and it's located right next door or right across the border from Kenya. So last year during covet, we were in Kenya and the President of Kenya shut down the country and everybody had to leave within 48 hours. So we did that. But desiring to go back as soon as possible. But when we saw that Tanzania was open, we booked a flight, went to Tanzania site unseen, hoping to cross the border into Kenya as soon as the borders were open. Well, that never happened during our first six months. And yet opportunities to teach and to volunteer and relationships were formed so quickly in Tanzania that we stayed there for six months and was super fruitful. Went back again just recently, the last four months or so, and lived in Tanzania, but then spent a month in Kenya, actually, a month and a half in Kenya as well. So Kenya is open now. So we do both. We'll go back in January, start in Tanzania, go across the border to Kenya, serve and work there, go back to Tanzania and fly home after about six months. Wow.
Participant #1:
Yeah. Wow. It's really hard to describe the feelings and the thoughts I have around the level of commitment and dedication and selflessness that you and your husband and all the people that you're working with. It's hard to really convey that. I think as much as I love words, it feels extremely inadequate. It actually reminds me of that verse. To those who have been given much will be required into the one who has been entrusted with much more will be asked, right? Yes. That lukewarma. I find that correctly. Yes. And you and your husband are living that you are living that well. It's incredible. Now, the other thing I want to know is what has social media or how? Because you said that you started sharing, which obviously in this day and age, it's just very clear that you have I mean, to be effective and to help share the good things, you need to do that to get the word out more. It's just the way it is. So how has that helped the cause of helping? Yes, it really has helped because it is hard to put in words what that life is like, what those people are like, what engagement looks like. And so part of what I've desired to do. And again, it comes back to God saying, I want you to go there, put both feet in the continent, and be like a journalist that was way back in 2007 in the name of our Ministry is called Go Near. So to be able to go there and take pictures and videos, it helps people here go there without having to go on that long airplane ride and spend all that money to get there and go through all the shots and all the things that people don't want to do. So to me, it's like taking them there. And people are getting so connected to the people that we serve with. Just today, I got a little message that said, I'm praying for Lily or I want to meet Anne. People are getting connected to these people, not only the people that are, like, in need. And I do it with a lot of integrity and a lot of like honor, but also the people that they're serving. And so it's been wonderful to connect and people get involved. For example, a lady here in our area saw some pictures and some videos when I went with the founder of a school in a village on home visits to tell these families who are in extreme poverty that their child can go to the school this next year is a kindergarten without cost. And as she saw where those children lived and how poor those families were, she said, I want to raise money for those children. And so instead of the usual Happy Birthday, Jesus Christmas party that raised money or they brought presents for families here in America, they donated money to our nonprofit. And we were able to buy uniforms for the entire kindergarten class. So somebody here, because of those pictures got involved, and she's connected to those children. And so things like that happen that I think social media is the key. Now, I'm 60, it's not my best thing, but I'm trying to advocate because we're supposed to advocate for the poor. We're supposed to share about those needs. And then there's some things I can't share on social media. There's a lady that we're partnering with who was Muslim, and she became a Christian, a believer, and she had to flee to Nairobi. And she has women that are Christians that are Muslim in a Muslim area that she has to transport to Nairobi to be taught. So we're helping fund her work. And yet we can't put that on social media. Right? It goes back to what you're saying, the honor, you're being very honoring of what you share. And that means everything really right there. And you know, most that we work with want help. They want the exposure. So it's a blessing to them that we're there and we're caring. It's a blessing to them that we're advocating for them. It's a blessing that we're sharing what life is like to Americans. So it's been good. It's what has helped people. Also, we've taken over 400 people to date go serve overseas. We could have never done it if people hadn't seen it first they have to see it. And God uses that to draw them to those people to serve or to help support what we do. Right. It's exciting. It's so wonderful. There is neat, obviously, all over the world. But the fact that you have followed the nudge that you and your husband feel for those areas in Africa,
Participant #1:
I know you don't think of it as sacrifice, but it is a sacrificial act because you're giving up some time with family and friends and probably in a much easier life in trade in search of helping the other. And that is very admirable, and you're very humble and modest about it. But it's a big thing, and you are boots on the ground doing it. Thank you for that work. Thank you. I appreciate it. As somebody who can see that you are doing the good thing, I'm grateful for that. And I have met a couple of other people through Instagram that are doing some really incredible things in Africa. One is Biju. She is from Congo originally, and she has a non profit. I'll give her a little plug Mosaic Action Project. Her uncle is a Nobel Peace Prize winning doctor who started a hospital for. I know about that. Okay. Yeah. Hospitals for the women and children of the war situation. So she's doing a lot of really great things, which is so wonderful. And then this young man who's a photographer and he really wants to be a photojournalist anytime from Nigeria that he's there. He went to College to study biology, not because he liked biology, but because that was an available door. That was an opportunity. And he knew he needed to take advantage of it. He wants to take pictures. He takes beautiful pictures. This young man, he's now recovering from malaria. So common. Oh, gosh, yes. And that's just my own little quick little brushes with Africa through Instagram. I met them both on Instagram, and it is amazing what social media, how wonderful it really can be in connecting you to other people and the goodness out there. It's kind of like you have to keep it on. Like it's the coin. You've got the underbelly. But then whatever the good side of the coin is, let's keep it for good. Yeah. Let's keep that side of the coin up. I am really deeply moved by your story, and I will be sure and share all the stuff so that people can participate and follow you. Thank you. I think your Melody what is Melody? Well, I have two Instagram and Facebook accounts. One is Melody Taylor 2020. Okay. And that's because that's when I got on Instagram, which is really late today. And yet there's also Facebook the same. And then there's the Ministry. One go near Ministry, Instagram and Facebook. So I went with my personal just because I have more recognition as Melody Taylor because of the beautifulized boutique and all that. Right. I went more personal and do both at this time. Right. Exactly. Because certainly something I learned from Carla is that you can't just share the thing people also want to know about you. And I really resisted that for a very long time. No, she's like, no, they have to know about you. What is it? Like, no trust factor? Yes. Like, no trust factors. Like, okay, I'm probably not that good at that. I mean, I'm more about the Ministry than me, but, yeah, I need to get better. She'll give you a Pep talk if you need it. She will give you one for sure. Well, Melody, this has been such a treat and a blessing. Thank you so much for honoring us all with your time and the beautiful work that you're doing. It's very inspiring, deeply moving. And again, I feel so much gratitude. Thank you for what you're doing. And yes, I'm looking forward to getting this out there and letting people know more about the business you're doing. That is great for our people that we serve. It's not about us. We're just the condo. It. I get it. You're the bridge. Like a bridge. The bridge from Arkansas to what would you say is your favorite place in Africa? Or can you even say that you have a favorite? Oh, I love Moshi Town. That's where we're pretty much most of the time in Tanzania. It's at the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro. The people there are so kind and respectful and gracious.
Participant #1:
I mean, it's got its challenges, but as far as Africa is concerned, I love that a whole lot. Good. Thank you for what you do. You're a voice for women, and you're a positive voice out there. You're giving other people the chance to be heard, and that is such an encouragement to mend me, those that get to speak and then those that listen. And so thank you for what you're doing. I'm so glad we do. I'm so glad I met you. Thank you for reaching out, and I really love what I'm doing. The same way you love what you're doing. So many parts of the body, we can't all be the ears. We can all be the eyes or whatever. We need all the parts we need, all the parts we do. We all have our unique place and our unique calling. Exactly. Well, thank you, ma'am. Thank you. I look forward to chatting with you later.
Participant #1:
I was struck by the degree of sacrifice Melody Lovingly is willing to give. Her faith allows her to stay optimistic even when times are dark and difficult. I'm not sure I could do what she does. I am thankful there are people who commit themselves to that thing they feel compelled to do. I know we all have something we need to share, and it takes all of us to do that unique thing to make it all work better. The Unabashed U website has a page for each guest filled with photos quotes and a blog with embedded audio@unabashedu.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under Unabashed you if you want to connect. The email is unavashuredyou@gmail.com for questions, comments and anything else. If you want to be part of our weekly emailing list highlighting the week's episode, give us a shout. We'd be happy to add you and your info will never be shared. Website visits, social media and word of mouth in sharing these episodes makes us discoverable. So thanks for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. Be encouraged as you continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing once again we have the privilege to pray for Africa and her people, most especially her children. May the orphan find homes may the underserved receive help may the broken be made whole. May there be more melodies out there who when they feel the nudge go share the thing that only they have to give it all adds up so go be unabashed be you.
Thought it would be fun to record a short episode centered around Thanksgiving with my friends while we were on an annual girls trip. Now I know it’s an American holiday but the theme of gratitude is certainly universal. Enjoy the conversation with Becky, Kathleen and Sandy.
Reminiscing brings back wonderful snapshots of times with friends. The four of us don’t go far - that’s not the point. It’s about setting aside time, the most precious gift of all, and spending it with loved ones. There is something about having a tradition that is very special. I hope you have created some or if you haven’t you will be inspired to do so.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT (not edited for errors)
Participant #1:
Welcome to Unabashed you conversations to Become Who You Already Are The focus at UI is to be who you are without apology, for you are one of a kind, without equal. Be encouraged as these conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way your companion to the whimsy and beauty of the human spirit. Rochelle Kindy now thought it would be fun to record a short episode centered around Thanksgiving with my friends while we were on an annual girls trip. Now, I know it's an American holiday, but the theme of gratitude is certainly universal. Enjoy the conversation with Becky, Kathleen and Sandy.
Participant #1:
I'm gathered here with my friends for our 17th annual Girls Trip woman's trip. Trip, and we are about to have some fun. All right, ladies, we've got Sandy, Kathleen and Becky hair. I would like you to answer the following Thanksgiving questions if you can, and just guess and do your best. There's no prize money involved. The approximate year considered to be the first Thanksgiving. The approximate year considered to be the first Thanksgiving. Approximate. Can you get in the right century
Participant #1:
of our country? I should know this because I'm a 13th generation Mayfar descendant. All right, let's have a guess. I think I would know that, wouldn't you? No.
Participant #1:
Teachers don't tell me I did preschool. We didn't even know that. All right, we've got a 1648, and that is just downright close.
Participant #1:
Question two. What meat? What did the Native Americans bring to the first Thanksgiving? What did they bring to the first Thanksgiving? The Native Americans. Wow. I was going to say that corn. But you said meat. Meat. I did say meat. I see. Ducks or goose. Okay. Ducks, goose. Benison, Sandy, anything to add to that, dear? Yeah, I would say probably dear. Dear. Venison. And you are all correct. It is dear. It is dear. Dear. Very good. You guys are about a hundred here as a collective team. How long did that first Thanksgiving celebration last? How long? Days. Two to three days. Two to three days. And guess what? You are correct again. Three days. There were 50 European settlers and around 90 Native Americans. What are Turkey chicks called?
Participant #1:
Kathleen has a very serious look on her face because she knows the answer. She's accessing that part of her file system. Just did a baby shower, but I don't know. Giblets.
Participant #1:
Okay, we've got giblets. Turkey chicks are called Chiclets. We've got giblets and Chiclets. Do we have any other possible answers?
Participant #1:
Okay. All right, well, we'll conclude with polts or Turkey Lings. Or Turkey Lings. Okay, only two more questions to go. You ladies are doing great. What is the wobbly red piece of flesh on top of the beak of a Turkey called on top? Not the Waddle on top. You want to speak up? I have no idea. The water is underneath. What's the on top one called? The red floppy thing? Yes,
Participant #1:
it's called a snowed and a little bit red, bit under the beak, the Waddle. And you are correct. Look at you guys.
Participant #1:
Well, this is what comes up when you Google Thanksgiving trivia. And now we're going to take a deeper dive as our 17th annual girls trip. We are now going to just kind of go through some memories. Let's start with Thanksgiving. If you had to list your favorite holidays, where would Thanksgiving fall? Sort of in that list, where do you think it would fall? For me? It would be like last like one of the very last ones. Maybe New Year's Eve would be down there and then Thanksgiving. I don't need any of the food, so it's not really a big deal for me. What about you guys? Kathleen is the same for her. Mine is probably number two. Mine is number two as well. Number two after Christmas. After Christmas. Okay. So we've got some people who really love it and then a couple who are like not so much. Well, for me, Thanksgiving is about family. Well, my family's dissolved, but it's just the history of mine. All right. And then what about a memorable Thanksgiving that you've had? A memorable Thanksgiving? Is there one that stands out? Yeah. My favorite Thanksgiving was 2002, because after seven years of infertility and trying to have a baby, Natalie was born and we adopted her. So that first Thanksgiving was so special. Just having my little almost three months old. Yes. In my arms, just sharing her with the whole family because I come from a big family and just sharing her with the whole family and thanking God that he had given me this amazing gift that is so sweet and wonderful. Okay. Who wants to be next? I'm trying to remember the year. It doesn't matter. We were in Hawaii with the kids, and we were renting a house on the beach. And I just remember making the dinner and my husband saying, oh, I thought they're surfing. I could just smell the Turkey. And then there were two military guys that were staying behind us. And I was nervous, but I went over I go, would you guys want Thanksgiving dinner? And they're like, yes. And they clean the plate, brought it back. It was just kind of special. That is special. Wonderful. Do you have a special one to remember? Okay, well, my special one of them would be the time that I spent with Kathleen and her family when we were young and before we were even married, just doing something completely different, going up to San Jose area and having so that would be one of the memorable Thanksgivings that I had was just as a young adult, just not doing the traditional thing. What about a memorable girls trip moment from the past 17 years? Can you think of a special moment that we've had? Just one moment that you want to share the slide? Yeah. But you enjoyed watching us do it. Okay, so a picture of this. We're at the Phoenician, and this is a very nice hotel in, I don't know, somewhere in Arizona that Oprah way back in the day had recommended as a great place. And so we went there for one night. One night. And the three of us, Becky, Sandy and I, spent a big portion of our time on the slide. Kathleen enjoyed watching water slides. She just had her hair done. She did not want to partake, but she enjoyed watching us. And that makes that really special. Every time we came down, we laughed. We would laugh or you would make a face, or Becky would look scared or we'd do something. I laughed so hard. That's a good moment. It was so fun. Somebody else memorable moment. When we went to Warner Hot Springs. Warner Hot Springs. And we were at the pool and named him Creepy Guy, who just as soon as the four of us walked in, he was laser focused. And every time one of us would get up to go in the pool, he'd go to the pool, or every time somebody do we walk by, he's there. I don't know. It was just creepy. Yeah. And I do recall that he was not very good at hiding his leering ways. I mean, it was just so obvious he was not clever or about it at all. And it was rather creepy. I know we laughed about it, but it was uncomfortable. It was uncomfortable. Really creepy. What's the name? I can't remember the cone of when I called remember we were talking about the cone of, I don't know, protection, the cone of something. But because when we get in the pool, he'd get in the pool and then he'd get close to us. Creepy. Creepy. Yeah. I had lots of fun. I would say one of my moments would be actually that same trip. And it was when we all four played tennis together, and it was just really fun. And then that same trip, we all had a golf lesson because none of us played golf, but we thought, well, let's at least try it and do it. And it was very funny because none of us knew. And then the odd way that you like it still doesn't make sense to me. The weird way that you hold a golf club, I don't know. That part I just thought was strange. You're making us sound like we're very active on our driving. Well, we have someone here who's very pickleball. Pickleball? Oh, we did play pickleball a couple of years ago. That was another fun moment. Yeah. We do sound very important. We do sound very active. We sound very active. Miss Mary, we are not that active. Are there any other favorite moments from the past 17 trips you can think of? There's so many. I'm trying to think.
Participant #1:
All right, Sherry,
Participant #1:
embrace your nakedness. That's what we were trying to came up with. Yeah. Trying to get away from any kind of body shaming and embracing what was the game we would play? We would play some kind of charade game. Quelf. Yes. That's charade game that was Quilt, where you do opera or rap or stories. Yes. Listener, I may have to add that room are good at that. And two of us. That is so wonderful. All right. Something that you are grateful for as we think about Thanksgiving that's coming up here in November, sort of a month, a time to be grateful for our many blessings and the things that we have that are wonderful in our lives. What is something you're grateful for? Health. Very good. Health. Yes. Goodness. Yes. That is excellent. I'm grateful for my freedom. Freedom. I'm really liking these answers because they're not the traditional, but yeah, it's freedom. Yeah. Right. I haven't traveled recently. But go to other countries and you just don't. I think we take for granted as American citizens. It's a freedom that we have. I think you're right. I think anytime that you're given a lot, you don't realize that you have a lot until you compare yourself or situation to something else. Okay. What else are we grateful for here? Well, not to go with something cliche, I'd say the abundance because there's nothing that we really need. That's true. You can get it if you want, you can get it right. That's very true. But I mean, you could say family, kids, right? Yeah. Well, no, I like your answers. And I feel very grateful today in this moment for the three of you, because we've all been friends, at least since 1980, if not longer. Yeah. So we go back a long ways, and it's really wonderful to have this connected history together. So I thank you each, Becky, Kathleen and Sandy for your friendship for the 17 years we've been doing this. And may it be at least 17 more at least. Thank you, ladies. Thank you for this. Thank you.
Participant #1:
Reminiscing brings back wonderful snapshots of time with friends. The four of us don't go far. That's not the point. It's about setting aside time, the most precious gift of all, and spending it with loved ones. There's something about having a tradition that is very special. I hope you have created some or if you haven't, you'll be inspired to do so. The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest filled with photos, quotes, and a blog with embedded audio. At Unabashed U.com, you can find the show and other podcast platforms want to lend your support and encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under Unavashured. U. If you want to connect. The email is unavashidou@gmail.com for questions, comments and anything else. If you want to be part of our weekly emailing list highlighting the week's episode, give us a shout. We'd be happy to add you and your info will never be shared. Website visits, social media and word of mouth in sharing these episodes makes us discoverable so thanks for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think. Celebrate who you are and move you in some way. Be encouraged as you continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing. Great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and possibly possible to forget. Be a great friend to somebody today. Go be unabashed, be you.
For By Request this week we have My Linh as our guest. She has some very deep profound wisdom to drop on us today. I’m still reeling from the way she framed her nugget of wisdom. My Linh wants us to put the effort in to loving ourselves because it’s worth it, we’re worth it.
Is it just me or does My Linh sound like Isabella Rosellini? There is a depth and a richness to her voice so it is a compliment. I was mesmerized listening to her share with us the role she played in her family and how it helped form who she is today, taking all that happened and becoming the best version of herself she could. I admire that in her.
You can find My Linh on IG at My Linh.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT (not edited for errors)
Participant #1:
Welcome to Unabashed You conversations to become who you already are. The focus at UI is to be who you are without apology, for you are one of a kind, without equal. Be encouraged, as these conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way your companion to the whimsy and beauty of the human spirit. Rochelle Kindy now for by request, this week, we have My Lynn as our guest. She has some very deep, profound wisdom to drop on us today. I'm still reeling from the way she framed her nugget of wisdom. My Lynn wants us to put the effort into loving ourselves because it's worth it. We're worth it.
Participant #1:
My Lynn and I met through an online course. I've enjoyed getting to know her a bit, and I'm looking forward to hearing more during our conversation today. Here's what I know so far. She lives in the Netherlands and is a warm, kind, thoughtful woman. Welcome to the show, My Lynn. Thank you. And thank you so much for your kind words. Well, they're easy. They're very easy. Is there anything you want the listeners to know about you before we get started? Yeah, I've thought about this. And there's just one thing I often hear from people that they feel a bit intimidated by the energy they feel for me. Interesting. Yes. And I always say to people at the end of our interaction, you feel like I'm really powerful. I want you to remind yourself that that same power is within yourself. Wow. That's very gosh. What great advice to give them. And I myself don't pick up that vibe from you at all. In fact, I almost a little bit find it surprising. I mean, yes, you're a strong woman, but I don't find your energy intimidating at all. I don't know what to say about that. Which three words would you use to describe yourself? I think it would be adamant
Participant #1:
courageous and soft. Adamant courageous and soft that paints such a really balanced, varied picture. I like that. I like that a lot. All right. Have you ever played this Two Truths on Lie? It's where you say three things about yourself, and one of those things is not true. And I have to figure out which one that is. Yeah. I haven't played it before, but I read it from the information. Okay, great. I'm older than 30. Okay. I'm a sweet tooth. Yes. What was the last one? I love 90s music. 90s music. Okay. Older than 30 has a sweet tooth. And you love 90s music. Oh, boy. Okay, so I mean, I have a sweet tooth, too, so how can you not have a sweet tooth? I'm going to put that one aside. And so it's now 90s music. And if you're over 30, I think it could be like just over 30. So I'm going to say that one's true. And so I'm going to say that maybe you don't love 90s music. I'm going to say that's the lie. I do love 90s music. It's your favorite. Yeah. What is name two bands you like from that time of year? Oh, my gosh, I love the Backstreet Boys. I love anything from the 90s, actually, Britney Spears. I know it's like people painted as bad music, but it just brings me back to dancing to the beat and just loving the music. You know what? You get to love whatever you want to love. That's what this is all about. So, yeah, you get to embrace your love for the 90s music. Okay, so 90s music is true. Do you have a sweet tooth? I do not. Oh, my gosh. It's so hard for me to relate to as someone who has a sweet tooth. Okay. You don't have a sweet tooth. So that was the lie. And then it's true then that you are over 30. Yes, I'm 31. Oh, my gosh, just over. But I added this one because a lot of people think I'm like 2025, which usually I have to show my idea if I go to the supermarket and buy things like liquor, I have to show you have such a classically beautiful face that you really could pass for a lot of ages. You know what I mean? Yes. Thank you so much. Yes, very much. So one of your favorite movies of all time. I'm not much of a movie watcher. I've told you before, but I love Home Alone. Oh, that is a classic. A modern classic. Home Alone. It's so sweet. And do you consider it a Christmas movie? Because it does take place at Christmas time. Yeah, I do consider it a Christmas movie. And Christmas. I just love the feeling of Christmas. I'm not religious, but I just love the whole, I guess the aliens around Christmas. I just love it. Yes. A lot of people really love Christmas for a variety of reasons. And there's a lot of festivity. There's a lot of good will and good spirit out there. Christmas is one of my favorites as well. Name a woman that inspires you. Lady Gaga. Okay, very good. Okay. Why does Lady Gaga inspire you? Not so much. Well, she does make great music, but you see her like, there are a lot of online videos of her interacting with fans or people who are less fortunate. And she is so gracious with those people. And I just love that she's so kind and humble and the way she treats people and the way she talks to people, you just can just sense that she treats people on the same level. It doesn't matter who she is. You're exactly the same as she is. Right. Well, and that takes a real sense of humility. Right. To be able to attain the level of success that she has and retain that. Did you like a Stars bar in the movie? I haven't watched it because much of a movie watch. Okay. You're talking to an avid movie watcher. Yeah. If you ever get around to seeing it because you like her, then you may end up enjoying it. All right. Name a piece of wisdom you keep handy. I always try to remind myself that if I'm destined to lose something, that I'd rather lose it from reality than from my mindset. To me is a life sentence that is okay. If you're going to lose something, you'd rather lose it in reality. Is that what you said than kind of like anticipating losing something in your mind it didn't happen or didn't happen yet? Is that kind of what you're tell me? Where does that come from? Because that seems like a very profound, well thought out piece of wisdom. I always try to motivate people to try. In the past, I've been very anxious and scared of taking opportunities, but I really noticed that being scared of taking opportunities, it keeps you stuck and you're losing to something that's in your head. For example, let's say you like someone, but you think maybe they don't like me and you don't even make any efforts to connect with them. Then you're losing to something in your head. And I'd rather lose reality finding out that they actually don't like me than to think they don't like me. Oh, my gosh. That really is a very good way of framing that. I really appreciate, obviously, the time, thought and experience that went into you putting that together and articulating it so well, I think that's going to really speak to a lot of people. And I couldn't agree more. I love the way you put it, that if you don't try, how will you know? Right? Yeah. And you're keeping yourself what I said, it's like really a life sentence to always act well, actually not act upon the things that you think because you think they don't like you. You think that you won't make it, you think that you can do it, but you never really know. So you're holding yourself captive in a prison in your head. Yes. Oh, my gosh. That's really my limb. That is just really astounding and remarkable. I'm so moved by that. I really am. Thank you for putting some great thought into that and sharing that negative with us. That is a keeper for sure. All right. It's time to take the deep dive, and this is where we talk about might be what you're promoting or not even promoting is not even the right word. Sharing on social media or your passion. Let's talk about that. My passion. It kind of touches my social media, but I think I do this with everyone I need in my life, too. And I really love for people to really put the effort into start loving and accepting themselves. Very good because it's very natural for a lot of people to be hard on themselves. I think so. And are we learning in the course that we're taking. And I've heard it elsewhere that the majority of our thoughts in any single day are negative, percentage wise, scientifically, and probably that had something to do with survival, trying to make it through, but it doesn't really serve us very well anymore. It doesn't seem to me. Okay, so what do you want to do with this passion that you have of wanting people to understand that the stuck part is in their head? And what's the worst thing that can happen if someone tries for the thing? I think the thing that's keeping people from trying from it is that they are afraid to find out that it's true, that they are a bad person and they are really not that good. Oh, interesting. Like, they fear that it's going to be true. How often do you think that's even the case? Not in numbers, but just in generalities for me, I really love people, so I think it's never true. I think that's so great. So getting back to their'afraid of the thing, turning out their worst fear, their worst fear is going to be true. And you're saying that actually that almost isn't even possible, that this thing that they're thinking of, it can't be what they're thinking it's going to be. I think maybe it's good to share the story I got here. It's because my mom, she has passed away, but she had a lot of mental issues and a lot of things to deal with. And she was very kind to other people, but always very hard to herself. And that caused her to take out a lot of her problems onto me. And I know in my heart, I know that my mom loved me so deeply, but even that love wasn't enough for her to stop her from projecting all the things she had in her head onto me. And that was because she couldn't accept that there were things about her that she deemed bad that weren't actually bad. She always had to help other people, which created no space for herself. But everybody needs to help themselves sometimes, but she won't allow herself to do that. So that created so much inner turmoil that she would project it onto her kids. And I think if that's something. Okay. So you share this experience with siblings, so you weren't an only child. You shared this, and so you and your siblings had a conversation, a healing type of conversation about, hey, mom did the best she could do, but it really wasn't everything we needed. It wasn't everything we wanted. Or have you done that more within your individually or both? More individually, because the situation is a lot more complicated. I was the person everybody came to talk about this thing. Okay. The dynamic is very difficult for me to get the support the other way around. Right. Got it. Because group dynamics are truly fascinating. They really are within a family, within even classrooms and different small groups even kind of develop their own group dynamic. And it's almost like, well, they are like an entity that has different characteristics. So somehow early on, you became the survivor, the strong one, the one that everybody went to to kind of air out their grievances and whatever it was. And they looked to you to be the ear and the shoulder and all of that, I'm guessing was probably part a tremendous compliment and part very validating and affirming. But then also on another side, I'm imagining exhausting and overwhelming and stressful. Yeah. Now that I'm 30, 31, I'm happy that I could do that for them. And I've learned a lot from it. But it also has taken me a lot of energy and time of my life to set those things right for myself again because I didn't have time to become an adult. So as I already was an adult, I had to be apparent to myself again. Right. What a wonderful opportunity, though, that you had that you saw. Hey, there was some stuff I didn't get. Now I'm going to take care of it, whatever it was, therapy, journaling, thought, process, pondering. However we can get all that out and sort of look at it and sort it and get it kind of to a point where we can really when I say get on the other side of it, I don't think we're ever really done. I really don't. I think it's a process. We're moving forward. We're moving forward. And then I'm hopeful that one. I'm sorry to hear that your mom had all of these struggles. And because she had these struggles, she couldn't help but kind of share them or however you want to think of it, project them. You use that word onto you and the others. Are you to a point where you can see the gifts that she was able to bring you, even amongst amidst all of the struggles? Definitely. I don't see it necessarily as I wouldn't call it a good thing, but not a bad thing either. And I do think she has given me a lot,
Participant #1:
actually. I had the same problems as she had when I was younger because she rejected it on me. But I've had the opportunity to heal these things. And my mom being she was from Vietnam, so they fled to the Netherlands from the war. And she had no opportunity. She just had to work really hard and make money for the family. So there was no time to fix mental problems. And she has given me my dad education, and with that, a stable job. So I could have no financial problems to worry about, so I could focus on mental issues and healing those. Right. And I like that you recognize that as a gift, even though, like you said, it wasn't a good thing, but good things came from it. And I love that you're able to see that she really did the best she could do with what she had and her experience and all of the different things that made her hurt. That was her best. And I think as children, particularly grown children, that's such an important place to arrive at to realize that your parents were human. They were finite. Because when we're really little, we just think, oh, my gosh, we don't even recognize the humanity of our parents until later. And then when we realize that and like, I didn't get this and this and this, but now it's up to us to get to this and this and this. It's no longer there. They did what they knew how to do. And that's why one of my inspirational women is Maya Angela. I think she's the one that said I did the best I knew how to do at the time. And when I knew better, I did better. And I think that's just so true. Okay, so your family fled to the Netherlands because of the war. And so were you born and raised in the Netherlands then? Yeah, I was born and raised. Oh, wow. That is so great. This is just complete aside because I wish I could tell you that I can access the Netherlands file in my brain, but it's got cobwebs and other things around it. What's the main language of the Netherlands? Dutch. Dutch. Yes. There it is. Dutch. So you grew up speaking Dutch? Yes, I did. And did your mother teach you Vietnamese or whatever the dialect for her area was? She kind of taught me Vietnamese, but it wouldn't be a disgrace to say I speak Vietnamese. Okay. But you understand little bits and PC. Yeah, I do. And then did you grow up in the school system? They wanted you to know English as well? Yeah. In the Netherlands, everybody know actually is taught English. Okay, gosh, you know, that is so remarkable. I'm admiring of countries that really take a second language seriously. I'm not saying it has to be English. I probably couldn't even learn English today if I were speaking it for the first time. The rules don't always work. And there are so many exceptions that I don't know why there's a rule in the first place. And it just strikes me as such a hodgepodge language of some Latin, some of this, some of that, some of that. I mean, it's a melting pot language just like our country. So I admire anybody who speaks English. Well, who learned it from like, you've got to learn it from an early age because your school system said, no, we're going to do this, too. Oh, that's so cool. It's actually really funny because I have family and I know some people in the US, and it's like everybody there is just like you. So what I should say amazed at teachers in Europe. Yes, we would say that for sure. I had three years of Spanish in high school. Another couple in College now it's fluent, not even anywhere close. I can conjugate a lot of verbs. Get me a sheet of paper and get me some Spanish verbs and I can conjugate them. But that's not going to help me in conversation at all. It's because the Netherlands has a lot of neighboring countries with different languages, of course. So I guess that's why. Because the US has Canada, which also speaks English. We have Germany and France and the UK next to us. So do you speak any other languages Besides the Dutch and English and you understand the smattering of Vietnamese? Yeah. And German sounds a lot like Dutch. So could understand what they're saying. Okay. We taught French and I have family and friends, but I wouldn't say I would manage. But probably that's really wonderful. And I imagine that you've done a fair share of traveling, being so close to the other countries, probably not in the last year and a half, but before that and all, I actually love traveling outside Europe. Okay. I've been more outside of Europe than in Europe. Okay. And what have been some of your favorite places to go visit? Wow. I've been to Japan, which I thought was great. South Korea. Wow. Yeah. I've been to China, but that was on this organized trip, so I learned from that that I don't really like organized trips. So. Yeah, I love Asia. Okay. I'm wondering if the organized trip to China was a better way to see China since it's a restricted you can't just wander around. Right. I mean, maybe a little bit, but not completely. I'm not sure, actually. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard of friends who have been to China without an organized trip, so just by themselves, which was fun and great. So I guess it is possible, but I'm not sure how much. Right. Sorry. Will you head back at some point? Are you going to go back? I have so many more other countries, so I'm not sure if it's possible in this lifetime. Right. I get you. Yeah. There's only so much we can go do and see. Right. Yeah. Anything else that you want to chat about in conclusion before we wrap up? No, nothing much. The main message for me is also always for people to really spend time with themselves and learn to love every part of themselves, whether they see it as good or bad. Well, I agree with that completely. And I think sometimes when we talk about self fulfillment or I think for some people it brings a very selfish connotation. But I don't think that's how I mean it. I don't think that's how you mean it either. Before you can really give you have to have it all within yourself first. Right. Because really, if you're not fully healthy, then how can you share that with somebody? How can you share the best of you with someone else if you're not even there yet? And that's how I mean it. And I think that's how kind of what you're speaking to, like healing the places that need healing and moving forward in the best way possible. Yeah. And I think we should learn everything is perspective because we are as human beings. We really like to put things as label good and bad. And that's it. This is always good and this is always bad. But for example, I would ask you, if you were to say self fulfillment is selfish. Why is selfish a bad thing? I really want to think about that. The story behind why is selfish a bad thing? Why is that a bad word? Sometimes selfish is a bad thing, but sometimes selfish can also be a good thing. Yeah. We tend to see it as one bad thing, but it isn't. It's illegal. And I agree with you, and I think it's again, like we're saying, it's very healthy that you need to start with yourself. I'm thinking that some people view it with a pretty negative connotation, almost like a hedonistic kind of a vibe to it. For me. I'm talking about a really healthy place to be. I don't ever think of anybody else. I don't ever notice anybody else's needs. I don't mean it like that at all. I just think you need to be kind of fully realized within yourself before you can share your goodness and the gifts that you have to share with other people. Yeah. And rather than going just listening to the word selfish, you need to feel what you're doing because our body knows when we're being selfish, when it's a bad thing and when it's a good thing, because taking care of yourself feels good. It's never a bad thing that maybe be called selfish, but it's not a bad thing. I agree. Sure, someone will call you selfish, but you need to feel within is this really selfish to me or is it self care? Because like we're talking about you need to explore who you are, discover who you are, own who you are, love who you are. I mean, all those things. And I agree that things are not black and white. Rarely are they black and white. There's so much Gray, many shades of Gray between black and white. And that's where most things reside, right? Somewhere in the Grays. And I like Gray. Gray is a good color. Nothing wrong with Gray. Well, this has been a wonderful conversation. My Lynn, thank you so much for your time. Your wisdom. I mean, 31 and look at the wisdom you are packing there. My goodness. Thank you so much. Yes. Gosh, I get very energized and excited by the different revelations that people share about their thought process and the different ways that they look at things. I find that very encouraging. And yeah, back to the word exciting. It just really brings me a lot of spark and a lot of joy. So I thank you for that. Thank you so much for inviting me. You're so welcome. All right. We will talk very soon. In fact, I think we've got a call tomorrow, right? Yes, we have one tomorrow. Yes. Okay. I'll see you then. My Lynn, thank you so much. Thank you for coming on. Bye bye.
Participant #1:
Is it just me or does my Lynn sound a lot like Isabella Rossellini? There's a depth and a richness to her voice so it's a compliment. I was mesmerized listening to her share with us the role she played in her family and how it helped from who she is today, taking all that happened and becoming the best version of herself she could. I admire that in her. The unabashed U website has a page for each guest filled with photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio@unabashedu.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to subscribe, follow rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under unavashidou if you want to connect. The email is unavashedu@gmail.com for questions, comments and anything else. If you want to be part of our weekly emailing list highlighting the week's episode, give us a shout. We'd be happy to add you and your info will never be shared. Website visits, social media and word of mouth and sharing these episodes makes us discoverable so thanks for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. Be encouraged as you continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing. Regardless of your upbringing or maybe because of it, be all you are meant to be don't skimp don't short yourself on being you. It's important all that this life has to offer can only be found in showing up as the best version of yourself so discover explore expand be unabashed be you.
Jen was not feeling fully well the day we recorded and yet she was a trooper giving it her all. I am grateful because she did me a solid which you will hear about. As a self-love coach she is committed to doing the healing work herself and then she can better help clients with the insight and experience she has gained.
Her nugget of wisdom, “Want to heal the world, then heal yourself first” is excellent, practical and sound advice. We need to make sure our cup is full of goodness before we can share it with someone else. Plus that’s really all we can do, work on ourselves, show up as our best selves and keep showing up. Thanks, Jen. That’s a keeper.
You can find Jen at Self-love Yogi
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
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If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT (not edited for errors)
Participant #1:
Welcome to Unabashed You conversations to become who You Already are. The focus at UI is to be who you are without apology, for you are one of a kind, without equal. Be encouraged as these conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way your companion to the whimsy and beauty of the human spirit. Rochelle Condy Now, Jen wasn't feeling fully herself the day we recorded, and yet she was a trooper giving it her all. I'm grateful because she did me a solid, which you will hear about as a self love coach. She's committed to doing the healing work herself, and then she can better help clients with the insight and experience she has gained.
Participant #1:
Listeners, I want to share with you how generous and gracious this next guest is. We actually had a conversation for the podcast a couple of weeks ago, but guess what? Somehow I forgot to press record. Ugh ever have one of those days? Yes. Well, here is what I can share about by request. Guest Jen Hannox. We found each other through a podcasting platform called Audrey. She reached out to me and we decided to collaborate. She's coming out unabashed you and I was a guest on her show Self Love Yogi. Welcome, Jen, and thanks again for your kindness. Absolutely. No problem at all. You were just so wonderful about the whole thing. And of course, when you realize the kind of personality I have, when I realized what had happened, you just feel sick. And now I have to go back and tell her the whole humbling experience of the realization, taking responsibility and holding myself accountable and then being honest and hoping that it's going to be received in the same way that I was sharing with you in all vulnerability and authenticity. Wow, I really blew this. And you were just like, okay, no problem. I was like, she's the perfect person to be able to tell this, too. Great. I'm glad I was able to do that for you, because maybe years ago I would have been different. But there's no need to get worked up and get upset. And I do the same thing. So technology can be a bit sometimes. Yes. And I have confirmed we are at recording. I'm very excited to record. We can both see it. Yes. Okay. Anything you want the listeners to know about you to start? Well, I guess just a little bit of background about me and what I do as we talked about last time. Sure. A lot of my stuff is about self love, which I believe has to do with getting into the big stuff, getting into the deep stuff that we don't want to look at. So getting into the shadow side, looking at the parts of ourselves that we think are hard to love, when you can start to learn to love those parts, that's when you can find the deeper self love. And that's come about for me because I've been through such a traumatic childhood and such a traumatic life, and everybody has trauma to some degree. So I never like to say that my trauma is worse than others or better than others. But it was something that happened to me that I believe I signed up for before I got here. Personally, I think that I signed a sole contract to do this. Interesting. Before like, there's something called sole contracts. And so my belief is that we sign a sole contract before we get here. And we know me and my mom probably signed a full contract to do the thing that we did, and she left this world, and that was part of her sole contract. I look at it that way. Whether or not it's true, it doesn't matter to me because it changes my perspective regardless. Right, exactly. That's very interesting. I'm going to ponder that. I love to ponder. I'm going to ponder that a bit. What three words. And thank you for the vulnerability of sharing that. Right. Sharing what you believe. And that is fascinating. I really am going to circle back to that three words to describe yourself. Authentic brave and kind. Authentic brave and kind. And yes, yes. I mean, I can see that in our interactions, for sure. Authentic braving, kind all the way. All right. Two truths for the lie. And so three things. And I need to guess. Okay, let's see. So I have two Wiener dogs. Okay. I love pineapple. Okay. And I love to tap dance. Okay. Two leaner dogs. Just go through my thought process. I feel like I saw something about your two dogs on Instagram. So I'm going to set that one aside and say, that's true, pineapple. It's hard to imagine people not liking pineapple, but I guess it's possible. So I'll set that aside on the other side. Tap dancing. That's, to me, a 50 50 thing. You might like it. You might not like it. So I think I'll go with tap dancing that you don't actually know how to tap dance. Oh, I do. Yeah. I did a 42nd street back when I was in high school, and I learned how to tap dance back then. And so I've been doing it ever since. Oh, my gosh. And so you actively tap dance in maybe a year or so with us. But, like, last year during the lockdown, I got a new pair of tap shoes, and I got on YouTube and I did some tap classes. And it's kind of hard because you either have to have a good space or you have to get, like, a board otherwise. Right. Floors and stuff. And I did it. And I was like, wow, I still have it. Like, I still have. Oh, how fun. That is. So fun. And 42nd street. That's a tap heavy show. I couldn't believe that. Yeah. I got cast and we did the whole we were in the money where we made the dimes out of wood. We had to dance at them overhead and set them down with hands on them. Actually, I was a really heavy kid and that was the first show I ever did. And I lost £30. Wow. Because it was so much rehearsal and I was also that's when my eating disorders were kind of starting to peak up. And so I was not eating and I was going to rehearsal every day and I lost £30. And they're like, your costumes don't fit you anymore. And I'm like, okay, so that's kind of a weird time in my life. Wow. Well, it's hard to fit you're. Very healthy looking and very lean looking. So it's hard to picture you with 30 extra pounds on you. Okay, so that takes us to pineapple you don't care for. I hate pineapple. Okay. What is it about pineapple? I don't know. It tastes gross if it touches other fruit. I can't do pineapple. I've always hated it. And everybody I say that one because like you said, most people like pineapple a lot and acidic. I don't like it. It's so funny. As we're talking about pineapple, I just feel like I'm tasting it right now and it's like creating a reaction in me. Isn't that funny? Yeah. Okay. Is there anything you're binging right now? My TV show wise, I'm not a big TV person. Okay, that's fine. Again, like the last year, I'll try not to share too many of my beliefs, but I feel you get to be you. That's what the soul. I know, but I don't want it to turn into I could go on a conspiracy road right now and I don't want to do that. Okay. But I do feel very I feel a lot of inauthenticity when I watch TV. I feel like watching and I see a lot of things. Like once you go down the rabbit hole, you can't unsee them. So now when I watch TV, I'm like, oh, I can't even watch this. And so I will watch movies occasionally. I just saw Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas with my boyfriend for the first time and I've never seen it before. And I was like, okay, well, didn't he win Nicholas Cage? Didn't he win an Academy Award for that? I don't know. Johnny Depp.
Participant #1:
This is what I'm kind of binging on. This is what brought about the juice cleanse that I'm doing some of the dietary things that I'm doing. It's not so much about losing weight per se. I will probably lose weight just because I think I'm actually holding emotional trauma in my body. Okay. And so I'm a pretty fit, leanish person. I've been leaner in the past. I used to compete in bodybuilding. I got on stage and did the Tan and did the little sparkly bikini and the whole thing. And they really set my eating disorder into like a tail spin after that. And so I read it a couple of years ago, and it didn't really resonate with me as much. I felt more like I was being chastised by it. I'm reading it again and I'm like, oh, my God, like, I think I'm holding, like, childhood trauma, sexual trauma in my body. And so I'm binging on this book right now. I'm probably going to read it a few times and try to just kind of get to the root of it. And that's why I'm doing this two week juice cleanse so I can get into the emotional traumas in my body and look at them, rather than sometimes we put food on them and not in a bad way. It's okay to eat. I'm the first person to safely eat whatever you want, but sometimes when we eat from an emotional place, they won't get to feel our feelings because the food covers it up. Right. And so that's kind of what I'm working on right now. Well, a couple of things. One, I really like that you pivoted. What are you binging right now to talk about that you're actually binging a book right now. I think that is a really cool interpretation of the question. So thank you for just shifting that completely. And then secondly, how wonderful you feel so committed to being whole and well and healing anything that's just not quite right, because, of course, you are correct and that we all go through stuff, and that's one of the reasons we're here. Of course, I'm not completely well versed in all the belief systems out there, but it's hard to imagine a belief system that would tell you that you're not going to go through hard things while you're here. That just seems to be part of the program no matter what you believe it seems to be. Yeah, exactly. All right. Share negative wisdom you keep handy. Something I talk about a lot of my platform is especially with the way that the world looks around us right now. A lot of us feel a little helpless. We're kind of watching some chaos happen, and we feel like, what can we do to help the state of the world? And I just tell all of my people that if you want to heal the world, you start by healing yourself. That's my favorite thing to say. And honestly, even if it's not about the world, even if you couldn't care less about politics or anything that's happening and you're just living your life, maybe you've got people around you that you feel like, God, I wish they would just whatever. If you want them to heal in some way, start by healing yourself and your perception of them will change and they will see you. And that's how any change happens. You can't change other people. You can't change the world. You can only change yourself. I could not agree more. I think anything that you are going to feel for someone else or share with someone else. You can't really do that well until you have it for yourself, because it really starts from that place of like wholeness wellness, all of that. For me, it's that classic flight attendant speech of you've got to put the mask on yourself first before you can help someone else. Absolutely. I don't think it's selfish. I think some people might argue maybe that it's selfish, but I would argue that it is not that you I think we would both be completely in agreement on it starts with you. So if you're not healed or healing, back to the ing that we talked about. Oh, yes, that's right. If you're not in that place of working on that stuff, then how can you show up for other people in a really good way unless you're doing that stuff? And I think that counts for everything, for mothers and their children, for spouses, for the friends. We all feel this need to give to others, which is wonderful. But if you're giving from an empty cup, you end up getting bitter, you end up feeling depleted, you end up feeling empty. And then you're like, then you get resentful and you're like, why aren't you filling up my cup? And it's like, no, you fill up your own cup. And so a lot of people will argue that it's selfish, but I think that just comes from an uninformed place of code dependency. And we all have that. We either have codependency or super independency. I tend to go towards the independence side. I don't need anybody. Nobody needs to help me, that kind of thing. A lot of us have codependency. It sounds like a bad word. It's not. But I think that's where the selfish thing comes from is they go, oh, it's selfish of me to want to do things for myself, which is could not know. I absolutely agree. I absolutely agree. Okay, so now the deep dive into your passion. It sounds like you have really led a very what would be a good word for it? Like varied life. I mean, we've got overweight tap dancer bodybuilder eating disorder. Now your platform. I think the journey from that to where you are right now of self love in a healthy way. And I know you do yoga, that's a part of who you are. So kind of how did you get to this place right now having a podcast and coaching others in wellness? I mean, is the coaching specifically about healing and wellness? You tell us what it is. I don't need to guess. You're here. Okay. No. Well, let me see. Well, the coaching I'll start with that is self love coaching. And so I use the modalities of yoga and meditation and a lot of other different tools that I've learned over the years on how to teach yourself to do the shadow work that it requires to really love yourself, not just I'm going to take a bubble bath every day. And that means I love myself. But to actually look at those parts of you, which is okay. And I always tell my people that's self care, and that is a tool to get to self love. I want you to do all the bubble baths. I want you to do the face masks. I want you to do the tea and all the stuff that gives you to take time for yourself. But when it comes to self love, it really is the shadow work. And so that's kind of like you said, I've lived a very life, a very colorful life. I've moved. I'm 36 years old. I've probably moved at least 30 times. Wow. I moved a lot. And I think it comes from my childhood because my mom moved me around a lot because she was doing drugs and doing her whole thing. And so I lived in Austin for eight and a half years, and I moved ten times just in the eight and a half years that I was there. I've lived in Chicago. I lived in Vegas. I've lived in Arizona. I've lived all over the place. And I've done theater, bodybuilding, personal training. I've done all these different things. I've had these weird jobs that people are like, who are you? You've also done that. What is going on? People hear my story, and they're like, you're all over the place. And it's because I just want to dip my toe and all the things. And I was also trying to figure out who I was. And so part of that shadow work, too. At one point, I shaved my head because I just done with my hair, and I was tired of it. And I had this really bad relationship with it. And I was like, Fuck it, I'm going to shave it off. And I just shaved my head. And everybody was like, what? And so I had a shaved head for six months and then grew it out. And so that, to me, was my personal way of trying to figure out who I am. And even recently, a couple of years ago, I was dating a very toxic alcoholic. And I had thought that I had healed some of my sexual trauma. And we broke up because he was awful. And it sent me into this tail spin of just serial dating. And I was like, oh, wow, I need to look at that now. So I'm constantly doing things, throwing myself into stuff that gets me to look at myself. And I don't know if that's just my personality or if that's what I signed up to do when I got here, but all of that to say that I ended up here because of all of those experiences. So a few years ago, I got diagnosed bipolar, which makes sense to me because it does run in my family, and there's a lot of mental illness in my family. I was very traumatized as a kid, and I've got a lot of imbalances. However, now I haven't been on meds for years, and I do a lot of work, and so I have a much more balanced state. And if I am bipolar, it doesn't really affect my life the way that I believed that it would. But I met a mentor then about five years ago now, and she's still in my life. She calls herself my second mom, and I love her very much. One of my favorite people. She's my homeopath. And that kind of led me into the journey that got me here. And so all that really hard work that I did and I continue to do I'm doing right now caused me to land right here. I got my yoga teacher training back in 2016. I started my podcast this year. I started this platform last year, and I've always known I want to help people. I've always been a person that people want my help. And so, I don't know, it feels like a calling. I still have some things I'm trying to figure out. There's certain things that don't work for me in this platform all the time. I get depleted really easily. And I've learned. Do you know anything about human design? I like how it sounds. I don't know. That means I know anything about it. Is it like a theory or what is it? Yeah, it's like a theory. Okay, so what's your sign? Are you like, that would be PISCES. You're a PISCES. I can see that. Okay. So it's kind of like that school of thought of like, if you read about PISCES, it talks about you and how you are and how you behave in life. And a lot of us know astrology. And then there's the 16 personality test. I don't know if you've ever taken that. I know the Enneagram. You know your Enneagram? I don't remember. Yes. I'm equal parts one and eight, with five being a close second to those two equal parts. So it's very similar to that. Okay. Personality type is similar. It's the ENFP INFJ you may. All right. Yes. The human design is much deeper, and you do the same thing. You give your birth date and your birthplace and all time and all that stuff. But it really gets into the I can't fully explain that there are people that read your charts for $500 because I looked at it and I was like, I have no idea what this means, but I'm a projector, which means that I'm like the ultimate empath, and I take everyone's energy. And so it's the hard thing as a coach to learn how to navigate that right. There are manifesting generators who are go go, and they're just happy to do that. And for me, I'm just, like, drained a lot because I'm taking on everyone's stuff. And so I've learned that recently. And so you need to really step into a lot of self care and refresh, rejuvenate mode to be able to do that kind of work. And it feels like too much like in our society, it's like, go do the things. And for me, I feel like I need to rest all the time. It's weird. I'm like, I'm always tired and I'm always like, I'm going to meditate again and I'm going to go do more yoga. And I'm just always in my yoga room just chilling in there. And I'm just like, I spent all this time in there, but I think if anybody is listening and they know what I'm talking about and they are projectors, there are places for us. It's just kind of different. And so I think just learning about that, I totally went on a tangent. I don't even know where I went, how I got here. Fine. I love it. I absolutely love it. It's so fascinating and interesting. And one thing, I have a friend who knows a lot about the Enneagram, and she said she reminded me that five start the day. Five are investigative thinkers. Okay. So that's my number two. They start the day with 60% to give. So they've already started the day and not even at the hundred. So they're easily quickly depleted and need to kind of step back, recharge, be alone, whatever it is for that person, which I thought, oh, wow. Okay. That's interesting. And like you, I want to be helpful, and I can be very animated and seemingly extroverted, but in reality, I'm introverted because then I need to go and just be by myself and just read or do very little. And I feel like I actually plug myself into the wall. Yeah, not at 100 yet. I got to keep stay here for a little bit longer, but it took a long time to understand that about myself. And I think so much of what you're talking about in the self love arena, and obviously that can be a huge place, but so much of it is about self discovery. I think so many of us don't even we go through life as ourselves, and we tend to think what we're doing and how we're showing up in the world is, quote, unquote normal. And for us it is. But how about being able to sort of look inward and figure out some of the things about who we are, our different personality types or whatever. There are so many wonderful models out there to kind of look at and check out and figure out who you are, and that's why. Okay. And I feel like when you discover more about yourself, actually, I feel like it's empowering. Absolutely. Well. And you learn how to be more of yourself. And so then you start asking for what you need. If you recognize, I need alone time. But you've been the kind of person who was taught to give everybody your time. You can start asking for it and realize, oh, I actually more well adjusted person when I say, hey, I need to be alone for 2 hours, leave me alone. Right. And same with like in relationships, like you mentioned your boyfriend or my kids, my husband or whoever your partner might be being able to, like you say, ask for what you want or say, you know what? Right before I came onto this conversation, my husband happens to be home and he said, hey, can I talk to you about such and such? I went, you know what, this is not a good time. I'm going to have to whereas probably in the past I would have tried to squeeze in the conversation and I just realized it's going to take I cannot my focus. I'm Jen, I'm all about Gen right now. You would have depleted yourself before you showed up and then you would have showed up and you would have felt just a tiny bit, maybe it was 60% and then you got down to 50 just because it's a little conversation. Well, and I think it's women. And I don't know if you can relate to this, but I think somewhere along the way, we are taught very indirectly to be people pleasers. And so I think it is very hard for us sometimes to say no, that doesn't work for me. And that is something like when I'm chatting with friends or whatever I say there are certain things to keep in your back pocket that are handy. You know, one of them is no, that doesn't work for me. Yes. It doesn't have to be offensive. It's just that doesn't work for me. And people feel really uncomfortable. So for your listeners, that's a really good pillar of one of the things I teach about self love. It's saying no. And I don't know if like when you first started saying no, if you were like, well, actually, I possibly don't really want to, but you kind of tiptoe around it, no, thank you or no, that doesn't work for me, or no, that doesn't fit in for me today. But we try so hard to be like, yes, because we want to please that other person and we end up spreading ourselves too thin. And it doesn't feel very good when you actually know you can't squeeze in that one more thing that it's going to have to wait until a better time when you can focus and give it your attention, and it ends up feeling so much better. And it was so wonderful to say not now is not a good time. Did he take it well? Yes. He goes, you know what, you're right. But it was such a small thing, but it's an empowering thing because it's reinforcing. Like, yes, this was not a good time. I don't know that he's a better multitasker, but I think he can kind of maybe his processing is different in that he could have squeezed that one more thing in also compartmentalize more than we do. Well, that's true. Separated. And so my boyfriend can be like, okay, well, I'm thinking about this right now. And then I'll think about this. I'm like, I'm doing it all at once. What do you mean? Like, I'm thinking about all of it right now. All the things being thought about immediately right now. Right. Different in the way that they process. That's true. Yeah, that's true. It's so interesting. And so that's a good thing for anybody listening. You don't have to start with the big things. You don't have to start by telling your boss, no, I'm not going to do that. If that's a really big, scary thing for you, start with the little things. Be like, no, thank you. Or try and you might fail a few times. I don't know. I'm so sorry. I used to do that a lot. And over time, my nose have gotten firmer, and sometimes I still struggle. But for the most part, when you practice just like any weight lifting, how you have to build your muscles up by going bigger and bigger and stronger and stronger, you have to keep showing up. It's the same thing. You're working your no muscles. You're working your self love muscles. They're all muscles that you have to practice. Right? That's a very good point. Really good point. All right. Where can people find you when it comes to all the things? I'm all over Instagram. You'll see me on there every day. I'm very active on Instagram. So that's self love, Yogi. So I've got a couple of giveaways going on there right now. I do live videos every Monday. I post all my classes there. And then my website, Selfloveyokie.com, is also where you can find all of my products. How you can work with me. I've got some freebies on there. I've got my podcast is posted on there. Cool. You find me anywhere. Podcasts are I'm sure your podcast is on all of them. I'm on all the platforms, I'm sure. And then I got picked up on other platforms that I didn't even put myself on. Sarah, even, I don't know. They added me. I have no idea. And then some of them say, I've never even heard that. I know. Yes. And they're like, your webcast is here. I'm like, why the hell I didn't do that? That's great.
Participant #1:
Yeah. That's all my stuff. And I'm about to start hosting more online classes. I hosted one last night where I did some intention journaling, meditation and yoga. And I'm going to start doing those, a little mini self love retreats on the weekends, virtual retreat. And so I got all kinds of stuff going on. Super. Oh, that's wonderful. And thanks for sharing all your information. I'll be sure to include it all as well in the show notes. So thank you, Jen, once again for modeling. Absolute graciousness. It makes me even tear up at the thought of how gracious you were about all of this. And to say that I'm appreciative just barely scratches the surface. I am very grateful. Thank you so much for who you are, for what you want to share in the world and doing the thing, doing the stuff. It's not easy, but it's like the alternative is, for me, it's almost unacceptable. Yeah. I don't want to look back. I wonder if I tried that, how that would have gone. Do you know what? I'm going to try all of it. I think about that a lot. If it would make sense when you're having a hard time financially. Like, well, maybe I'll just get a job. No, I'm like, I'm going to try all the things my friend actually said. This might resonate with anybody. I don't know. But persistence doesn't recognize failure and
Participant #1:
grave. Because no matter what, if you keep going, you'll get there. Just keep going. Oh, my God. I know. Oh, my God. She said that persistence doesn't recognize failure. 1ft in front of the Other I had to restart my Instagram account because it got deleted. Then I just start all over. I know, but it happens. And I cried about it. And I tried to get off Instagram for about two weeks. And then I was like, all right, I'll go back and I'll start all over and I built an account from scratch again, and things happen. You don't remember to record last night my sound, like, was all messed up during my yoga thing, and I was beating myself up about it. But am I going to quit because of that? No. And what was it you said? I'm doing everything. I'm going to do things. I'm going to do everything. I'm going to try everything, whatever it is that I have to do to make this work. It's funny, too, because it's a slow growth, so anybody has included. We're all out here trying to make a difference. It feels like a saturated market, but it's really not because there are so many people that need to hear exactly what you have to say. And so trying to remind yourself of that while you're watching other people kind of rock it in their own niche or whatever. And you're like, Why am I not rocketing? And so I'm like, I'm trying to figure it. And I'm slowly rocking and my rocket like, it's trying. And so I just keep shifting and adjusting, and I'll shift something and it's like, oh, that works. This doesn't you just keep showing up. That's all you can do. That's great. Great advice. Show up. Yeah, that's really good advice. Advice works for yoga, too. So anybody, if you want to do yoga, just show up. Yeah, show up. Very good. Well, Jen, thank you so much. Again, I'm very grateful. And I will put this together, and next thing you know, it'll come out next Tuesday. So you'll get to see it then. And I'll be sure and let you know the second it comes out. I'm so excited. I'll share it all over. Thank you Jen. Really appreciate you so much. Thanks so much. Take care. Bye bye.
Participant #1:
Her nugget of wisdom want to heal the world? Then heal yourself first is excellent practical and sound advice. We need to make sure our cup is full of goodness before we can share it with someone else. Plus that's really all we can do. Work on ourselves, show up as our best selves and keep showing up. Thanks, Jen. That's a keeper. The Anabashed U website has a page for each guest filled with photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio@unabashedyou.com. You can find the show and other podcast platforms want to lend your support and encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under Unavashidou if you want to connect, the email is unabashed you@gmail.com for questions, comments and anything else. If you want to be part of our weekly emailing list highlighting the week's episode, give us a shout. We'd be happy to add you and your info will never be shared. Website visits, social media and word of mouth and sharing these episodes makes us discoverable so thanks for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. Be encouraged as you continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing. Yes, we've all been through stuff. Pain we wish hadn't happened heartbreak we hoped we wouldn't ever have to feel yet it is all of that we can take with us into a better version of ourselves. Processing forgiving accepting, expanding, looking for the gifts of it all and then may we reach behind to help the next one who needs it. Let's do that. Be that. Amen go be unabashed.
The passion, and the obvious enjoyment of everything she is doing, makes Toni an upcoming woman to watch. She is a dynamo, doing all the things to pursue her dreams while she speaks into the rest of us the importance of having a good relationship with food, and with love. She’s got a book, Once Upon a Diet and cleverly parallels her past love stories with her food experience.
How about the willingness to support others? Love that. And as Toni points out we are all beginners. We all start there, no exceptions. Where we go is up to us: our desire, our drive, and what we seek. Are we relentless about it - in a good way? The pursuit of a goal even if it’s hard. Remember we are here to make a mark, so let’s do it.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
To get in contact with Toni:
Website: Tips with Toni
Instagram Tips with Toni
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
I met our guest a couple of days ago. We struck up a conversation which ended up with us booking this episode. It’s fascinating the way things work out sometimes. Turns out she is 17 and in college, very humble and has a deep passion she shares with us. I want to applaud her for being bold and brave in doing so.
I hope I was able to really speak life into who she is, what she believes. It is so important to me to give space for each person to be who they are. We need to be respectful not shameful when others don’t think/feel/believe the way we do. I realize this is not always easy to do but it should be our goal. Each person has there own journey and they need to do it their own way. Thanks for reminding us of that, Mia.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So be encouraged and continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Transcript
00:00:00
Rechelle: Welcome to Unabashed You conversations to become who you already are. Rechelle Here to listen, encourage and to share another episode. The focus at UY is to be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, listen, read and be inspired. I met our guest a couple of days ago, we struck up a conversation which ended with us booking this episode. It's fascinating. The way things work out sometimes. Turns out she's 17 and in college, very humble and has a deep passion she shares with us. I want to applaud her for being bold and brave in doing so.
Intro Music
Rechelle: I met this young woman at a one-day women's retreat this past weekend. We got to talking, she said she would check out the podcast, which I thought was cool.
00:01:06
I knew I needed a guess for this week's episode as our newest series won't start until next week. Mia came in and saved the day. Welcome to the show, Mia.
Mia: Hi, thank you, I'm happy to be here. Hello everybody.
Rechelle: Yeah, so happy to have you. All right, so let's get to know you. Is there is there anything you want the listeners to know about you? Just against the ball rolling.
Mia: So, my name is Mia. Like you've all heard. I am 17 years old. I am from San Diego and I'm currently attending UCSD.
Rechelle: Okay. Oh my goodness. So, you, did you graduate early or young or what or did you? Okay. Yeah, so that's the question?
Mia: So, I have a late birthday, my birthdays in November.
Rechelle: Okay got it.
Mia: Something like with the cutoff date, like when you're going into kindergarten you have to be five, but I was four because my birthday is really late, so that's why I'm so young and cool.
00:02:08
Rechelle: Okay, okay, got it. Okay, that makes sense. Which three words would you use to describe yourself?
Mia: I would first stay friendly. I feel like I feel like I'm the type of person who tries to become friends with everybody and I especially try to reach out to people who I notice like are lonely or don't really have friends. So yeah, I would first say friendly um then I would say compassionate, I feel like I had a lot of compassion for people. And third I would say mellow.
Rechelle: Ooh, that’s so good.
Mia: Yeah, I consider myself an extrovert, but I don't consider myself like super loud, like a loud person. I would just say I'm chill and mellow and just go with the flow.
Rechelle: Yeah, I definitely got that vibe from you on Saturday. For sure. So, uh friendly, compassionate and mellow.
Mia: Mellow, yeah.
Rechelle: Those are really good words and I think from as much as I know about you so far and what I can intuit from being around you is that you know yourself.
00:03:26
Those are really good--descriptive. Alright, let's go to two truths and a lie. I'm imagining, you know how this goes.
Mia: Yeah
Rechelle: Okay, so you say three things and I'll see if I can pick out which one is not true.
Mia: Okay. Um let me think. Okay, I used to do boxing. I love spicy food and I have three bunnies.
Rechelle: Boxing, spicy food and three bunnies. Oh my gosh. Okay. Okay. Uh huh. I'm okay. So, I think you could box. I think you could like spicy food. I mean okay, those are all doable in my mind. Now I'm really like drawn to the three bunnies and here's why. Two things. Well one. I know you're in college. So, I'm wondering how does that translate? Like can you be a college student and have three bunnies? I mean it's not like having a child obviously or even a dog, it's a little different. But like if you're in the dorms, I doubt very seriously that they're going to let you have bunnies.
00:04:33
Here's the other reason I'm drawn to that. I'm drawn to that because you used a number. So maybe you actually do have bunnies, but maybe you have two or one or four. So, I'm going with that is the lie.
Mia: That is the lie. I guess I would have thought that through more because yeah, I am in the dorm. But the thing is that. . . okay so I have two sisters and we used to have three bunnies. Like up until like two weeks ago when my parents decided to give them away because they were tired of us not like taking care of them. Yeah.
Rechelle: Did you each, did you each have kind of like your own bunny or?
Mia: Yeah.
Rechelle: Okay. Okay. So, did. . . was that a difficult thing that your parents gave the bunnies away or are you were like, well they probably should be in a home where they're, you know, kind of a little more doted on?
Mia: Um I mean, I was sad a little bit, but honestly there's really nothing I can do.
00:05:41
I feel like because I'm not even there like taking care of them and like helping take care of them. Um But it was kind of like a shocker because my mom just texted me one day, she's like, oh, we got rid of the bunny. Like I meant I meant to tell you earlier, but. . .
Rechelle: Laughing. Oh my God.
Mia: It's fine.
Rechelle: Okay.
Mia: Yeah. Yeah.
Rechelle: So, you really didn't get to say goodbye, you didn't really get like closure or anything like that. They're just the bunnies are already gone. And so now you've made your peace with that. Well, that's good. That's good. So, you used to box or are you still boxing?
Mia: I used to yeah, it's something I did in like 11th and 12th grade.
Rechelle: Okay.
Mia: Yeah. Yeah, there was like a boxing gym in my neighborhood called House of Boxing? Um And that was really fun. I really liked it. I don't really know what drew me to boxing. I mean my great grandpa was a boxer. Yeah.
00:06:43
Yeah, I mean I would like to continue on, but I don't know.
Rechelle: Well, you're kind of busy right now with school so it's not like it's going anywhere. You know, you can press pause on that right now until you're ready to return. And you love spicy food!
Mia: I love spicy. Yeah. I would say like out of all the flavors, like sweet, sour, savory--spicy is my favorite.
Rechelle: Oh, okay. So how does that translate? Is that like Mexican with the habanero sauce? Is that like Thai and take it to the 10? I mean how does that, what does that look like?
Mia: Yeah, I would say Mexican food or Asian food because I feel like Korean food or like Japanese food can be spicy too. Like if you go to like a ramen place. Like I went to a Ramen place the other day and I got the spicy when it was really good.
Rechelle: So, can you take the 10? Because isn't that how sometimes they ask you like you know like, do you want it all the way, you know, 10 or like where I mean I've been at
00:07:49
. . . I don't remember, I think it was a Thai restaurant and they asked me what number, what number do you want? I was like, oh my gosh, well. Or do you just say, hey, bring it on spicy.
Mia: Yeah. I usually go for the spiciest option. Even if that means that my nose is going to run in, my eyes go water. Yeah.
Rechelle: Well, guess what you get to be you and if you get to like spicy food awesome and who cares that you need a Kleenex to get through the meal. So, what you like it? You like it. Okay. So maybe there are more bunnies in your future. We'll have to see, who knows? Who knows? All right. What are you binging right now? Anything?
Mia: Well, so for my general education it’s required for me to take a fine arts class.
Rechelle: Ooh, nice.
Mia: So, I enrolled in this theater and film class and...
Rechelle: God, great.
Mia: Yeah, it's really fun. Basically all we have to do for the class is there's a movie assigned each week that we have to watch and then we write an essay or like do a quiz on it.
00:09:01
So...
Rechelle: Uh. . .
Mia: Yeah.
Rechelle: That’s the best class ever! I love that class.
Mia: So that's basically all I've been watching is like the movies required.
Rechelle: So, share a couple of them with us. The kind that made an impression on you for one reason or another.
Mia: Have you seen Casablanca?
Rechelle: Yes.
Mia: We watched that movie last week and I really loved it.
Rechelle: Okay. Tell me why you loved it because honestly for me and I know some people don't agree with this and that's the great thing is that we get to have different opinions. To me that's a very overrated movie. I don't know why I feel that way. I just, it just is to me it just doesn't speak to me the way that it speaks to some people. So why did you love it so much?
Mia: So, I am really into like old shows, an old tv like the twilight zone is my all-time favorite show.
Rechelle: Okay, love it.
Mia: Um I also love Dick Van Dyke and...
Rechelle: Oh, I love the Dick Van Dyke Show.
00:10:06
Yes.
Mia: So, I already like that genre and like that style film and whenever I watch a movie like I never liked watching the trailer or like reading this summary because I love to be surprised. I didn't really know anything about Casablanca. I didn't know there was a hype, so I feel like that played into it. Yeah, I didn't have any expectations for it. Um and what I didn't know um because the movie takes place during World War Two. What I didn't know is that the movie was actually made during World War Two which I think is crazy that they were able to execute such an amazing film in the middle of the war when they didn't have that many resources and stuff like that.
Rechelle: Right So now was the ending the ending work for you? Do you feel like he had to give her up? I mean this, this is maybe this is one of the reasons I don't like the movie, or I don't love it the way other people do.
Mia: So, do you not like the fact that he gave her up, or?
Rechelle: Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:09
Because she didn't really like the other guy. She didn't really love him in my opinion. So, it's just like it's not very satisfying. Okay. It's real things like that really happened. I get it. Not everything has to end all, you know with a bow and all of that. But just now she's going to go live her life with somebody she doesn't even really love. That just seems like a not great choice to me.
Mia: I honestly like the fact that he gave her up.
Rechelle: Okay. Because he loved her so much. He was willing to be sacrificial.
Mia: Yeah. Because I can't remember the exact wording. But he said like because the guy that she was married to, he was like a very important figure um for like freedom, and he was against what the Nazis were doing. And so, Rick, her lover, said like if you didn't like you're all he cares about. Like if you didn't go with him, like you wouldn't have a drive to continue on um pursuing freedom, pursuing like resisting the Nazis.
00:12:23
So, it’s like I think it was better for the greater good. Also, I feel like I have really high moral standards. So, like I wouldn't like the fact that she would leave her husband, you know?
Rechelle: Well, that's a very good point.
Mia: Even if she didn't love him.
Rechelle: Okay, that's a really good point. And the fact that he that he really was doing it for the greater good; that does make it a much more--not even just a palatable--that's not a strong enough word, but I really um well I either yeah, more than sacrificial. It's very uh gosh, my words are just not coming to me. Um Okay.
Mia: Selfless.
Rechelle: Yes, Thank you. Yes, it's very selfless. It's very selfless. He really and he strikes you as the kind of guy that is a little bit about himself, you know? So, the fact that he was willing, he willingly gave her up very selflessly.
00:13:28
You're right. I might have to rewatch that movie.
Mia: Yeah.
Rechelle: Okay. one more that you watched lately that I spoke to you?
Mia: Have you heard of the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers?
Rechelle: Yes, I have not seen it because I don't like creepy. No, like once we head into that area that just doesn't I just I just that's not my jam. So yeah, but I know it's a classic. I know it's a classic. I understand the basic premise and all of that. So why did that speak to you? Or what about that movie impressed you?
Mia: So, I don't know if you know the premise of the movie, but it's a sci fi movie and it basically is about a small town and um these pods like these foreign objects like arrived in the town and the pods like take over the people.
00:14:33
So, it's sort of like a parasite. Like it makes the people not have any emotions. Um and like makes everybody the same. And a lot of commentators have said about the movie that it's like in, because during that time like communism was rampant in other countries and all the American’s were afraid of communism. So, they said like, oh the movies and allegory, like the fear of communism, communism coming in taking over, making everybody the same. Like trying to make everybody emotionless. I mean the director said that wasn't their purpose, but it seems like the fear of communism played into that movie. So that was really interesting to like hear about that alert about kind of the history behind the movie. Um but also like, I feel like we can apply this movie to this day and age because I feel like a lot of people, it's not that people are emotionless these days, but like everyone seems to be living for themselves.
00:15:44
Like everyone does things for their own personal benefit if that makes sense.
Rechelle: Yes, I understand what you’re saying.
Mia: So, the movie can apply to like now in this day and age.
Rechelle: Right.
Mia: Because everyone seems to be emotionless.
Rechelle: Right. Well yeah, or their emotions are off the charts and not even rational anymore. Well, I, I am as a fellow movie lover, I really have a heart for performing arts and the stories they tell and then what we can uh you know gathering glean from the movies and there are like life lessons in movies, and you can have, you can learn so much about different time periods and learn compassion and um walking in someone else's shoes and about history and different things. That's one of the reasons I love movies so much and stories so much is for those reasons.
00:16:47
Well, I just think that class sounds like a great class. I've actually been thinking about doing a movie series on the podcast and so you're giving me more fuel for that vision. So, thank you for that. What's a nugget of wisdom you keep handy?
Mia: So, this is probably gonna sound cliche, but I would say spend time with the people you love because you never know what day is gonna be your last or what day is going to be their last. So, I feel like a lot of times we really get caught up in life, like work school, other things like that, and a lot of times we can be so distracted that we don't spend time with our family or like check and see how our friends are doing. So, I think it's really important to really having others focused mindset, not just thinking about yourself and what you have to do, what you have to get done, but think about others and what they may be going through and what you can do to spend time with them or help them.
Rechelle: Okay, you're 17.
00:18:06
You already know that, that is wonderful. It's absolutely wonderful that you already know that and I'm guessing that you're, you're living that too. So it's not even just like, oh, it's an idea in my head spend time with the ones you love though, you're intentionally going forward in that posture of wanting to spend time with the people you love because you're so right, we don't know what even the next hour holds, you know--tonight, tomorrow morning--I mean there's no there's no predicting that that is beautiful. Mia, thank you so much for sharing that. And I think, you know, cliches are cliches for a reason, right? And some of them are far more have more heft and gravitas than others that are like, probably should be retired, but that's a really good one. That's a really, really good one, thank you so much for sharing that. All right, so let's take a deeper dive into Mia. Do you have, like, do you have a passion or is there a certain topic that you want to kind of head into, or we can just kind of keep riffing, what do you want to do?
00:19:19
Mia: Mhm. We can talk about the passion.
Rechelle: Okay, great. What's your what is your passion? Let's talk about that.
Mia: I would say, Jesus, honestly.
Rechelle: Okay, yes, beautiful, wonderful. That's your passion. And you know, it's so um what's the good, you know, sometimes I love words, I told you that at the retreat, I love words, so words like, I like to choose them and make sure that they work for what I'm trying to say, just like with your the a nugget that you shared, This is also something that would not necessarily be typical of a 17 year old, that Jesus would be your passion. And one I am inspired by you speaking that out. Two, that you already know that. Three, your courage in claiming that. I think we'll speak to other people and fourth, fourthly, I don't think fourthly is a word, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna pretend it is, you get to be you, and that's the whole point of the show, you get to be you. Okay, okay, so I'm gonna kind of start us off a little bit in the sense that Mia and I attended the same retreat on Saturday.
00:20:47
It was a one-day event, and it was about purpose and calling and I cannot remember exactly the title of it, but that was basically the theme. Mia came to, there were four workshops that were breakout sessions, I was I had the great honor of being able to be one of the speakers for one of those workshop sessions. So, two times I gave basically the same talk, and it was interactive, which is my favorite part of sharing. Uh it was about Martha of Bethany, and it was also about each woman's purpose and calling. This happened to be a women's retreat. Mia caught my eye when I passed out these little stickers that the women were putting in their journals about an activity we were going to do, and I walked by and said, hey did you get one? And you said, yeah, I put it on my water bottle, which I was like, oh my God, that is so great. So, she put this sticker, this little activity we're going to do on our water bottle.
00:21:52
I ran into her at the end of the workshop day, and I was like, oh there you are, I said hey in my second session, I said oh yeah, and this young woman, she put it on her water bottle because I of course I thought that was just so cool. So how long has this been your passion, or has he been your passion? How long do you want to get to get into that? Okay, yeah, let's talk about that. How did how did that transpire?
Mia: So, I was raised in a Christian home. Okay, so I've always grown up believing in Jesus and God, I never liked doubted in my mind that, you know, Jesus is God, God is true, God created all things, but um I feel like I never understood what it meant to have a personal relationship with Jesus, and I feel like I never had one. Um so I think around 10th grade in high school is when I started to understand. I went to a Christian, like a private Christian school and it was required for us for each year to take a bible class.
00:23:08
So, I feel like that really helped me understand more about the bible, understand more about the gospel and what it means, that relationship with Jesus. So around that time I started to understand and I feel like I kind of made my faith my own because I feel like when you're little and you and you grew up in the church, your faith is like sort of your parents because it's your parents, your parents bring you to church, it's your parents, you know, telling you to pray before you eat and stuff like that. Um so I would say around that time is when I really started to live out my faith through my own and have a personal relationship with Jesus and I'm really glad that I decided to do that because I mean I think that's the most, I mean it is the most important decision that you can make in your life.
Rechelle: Okay, so it's been I'm guessing about three years, three plus years or so you got 10th grade, 11th grade 12th grade and now you're in your first year, so maybe we're heading to four depending on what time of year it was.
00:24:11
Um how has that manifested in your, in your life now? Having this strong faith.
Mia: Okay. Um What kind of going into what you talked about at the retreat: like it's given me purpose. Um Because I feel like before I started living for Christ like I was sort of just lost and I didn't, I didn't know what my purpose was. You know felt empty. Um even like depressed because I just I didn't know like Jesus really personally and because of that I didn't have my purpose in him were like my worth in him. Um Because our worth and our value and our purpose is defined by God. Yeah. I didn't have like I mean of course I had my worth in him, but I just didn't know that yet. So definitely since then I found like my value and worth in him. And I feel like um I like uh acquired the fruits of the spirit since then you know because when you start living for Christ, he starts sanctifying you and making you become more like him.
00:25:31
And so, I feel like I've definitely like learned more about the fruits of the spirit and like acquired that like love, joy, peace, patience, all of that. So, I think I mean like Yeah when you have God and like Jesus living in your heart, you really have all that you need.
Rechelle: Mm hmm. So, I'm guessing then that because of your faith, you've been able to uh you know, live your life in a way that has some like you say—purpose--and then that also gives you a sense of peace. Because you um you know that you are, you're living out what you believe, and others can see that. It's not just this thing I do on Sunday and maybe I'd do a little bit of reading here and there. Maybe I do a little bit of praying. I mean and all that's good and all of that's good. But if people can see in you that you are living your faith, that's for me, what really matters.
00:26:44
Does that make sense?
Mia: Yeah.
Rechelle: Because you can talk and talk and talk and talk. I'm not saying you literally you out there you but how do you live? What am I what do I see? I mean, what do you embody? What do you bring? I mean that that is really key for me.
Mia: Yeah. And I think that's especially applicable to me right now going to the secular college because there's so many people here that don't know God. And I feel like it's very important for me to be a light to them, not only through my words by my actions sort of like a living testimony. So, they can see you like that something's different. It's kind of like there's a verse in the bible that says like let your light shine before men so that they may see your good works and glorify your father who is in heaven. So, I'm trying to live out that verse right now.
Rechelle: That's wonderful. That's really beautiful. And my guess also is just based on what I'm gathering from you as a young woman is that you have this, you're convicted by it, you live it.
00:27:55
Um and you are allowing other people to be who they are in their own process and journey. And if they're drawn to your light, your warmth, your love, you know, they might like, oh what are you about? And then is that kind of typically how you have a conversation if you even have conversations because you know sometimes you make God beautiful by really just the way you live and not necessarily, you know, uh cajoling clobbering, convincing, you know, that whole thing, that whole mindset that doesn't work first of all, and second of all, it's a turn off.
Mia: Mhm. Yeah, I'm trying to think um I mean I think there's different ways that I try to like to be a light yes, friendly gospel and stuff um like most recently, like I had a friend who was going through a really tough time. So, I just said that can I pray for you?
00:29:00
And she said, yeah, so I was able to pray for her and I think that that was really nice to be able to do that.
Rechelle: That is a great weight way to live out your faith because it's not threatening on, right. It's not a threatening thing. You're not hitting her over the head with the bible. You're saying, hey, you know, basically in your own inner monologue, I see a need, I see she's hurting, I see struggle, whatever it was. And hey, can I pray for you? And it comes from a really loving heartfelt place. That's a really, really beautiful gesture and you meant it and you did it.
Mia: Mhm.
Rechelle: So just a little more about being at a secular college. It sounds like you went through Christian school all the way up to now. Do you. Or at least in high school you did. Um is it, do you, I mean, how do you, how do you feel about that? Do you, I mean this is like real life, right?
00:30:07
I mean you're, you're not in the Christian bubble as we sort of call it, right? You're out there.
Mia: Yeah, so I find it very different from what I used to, I mean definitely like in my classes, my teachers, like for my history class for example, um we were learning about like, like the creation story, like through genesis and stuff, but they were calling it a myth, like this is a creation myth. Um and like of course, like going to a Christian school, I never had that, and my professor was talking about the bible, and she was like bringing up stuff about the bible, it isn't true, I don't know how she came to these conclusions. She's like, oh, Eve was probably a goddess in the bible. So, it's just stuff like that, that's kind of weird, you know? Um. . .
Rechelle: Right. it's almost taking it so far to the other extreme, you know, like, like trying to disprove it and it isn't it better to say this is, you know, I think it's more inclusive to say this is one theory and you know, this is this is one model.
00:31:24
This is one way of looking at how I mean for a secular college, obviously they're not going to say this is how it is, but you know, this is one model of, of how many people believe it all started. Of course, we have this model and there's this model, I mean, it's kind of like not giving it equal footing, which it sounds like it's the part that's like, well, wait a minute, what, what, what?
Mia: Yeah, I definitely see that in my class, like, my professor is trying to disprove the bible and like, say that it's a myth or that it's not real and that's really interesting because they single out Christianity, they're not doing that for any other religion. Like, I feel like there'd be a bunch of backlash, like, if they were to, oh sorry, I got a call um if there were there would be a lot of backlash if they were trying to speak out against Muslims or something like that.
Rechelle: Or Buddhist or the other religions.
00:32:25
Mia: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, so I feel like they do definitely single out Christianity, but I'm not surprised because the bible does talk about like Christians are going to be persecuted and you know, if Jesus said if they hated me, they're going to hate you too. So, I'm definitely not surprised. Like I definitely expected all of this coming to a secular school, so it's just a matter of knowing what to do in that situation, how to approach that.
Rechelle: Well, it sounds like you are getting a handle on that and I'm imagining that's going to be a process for you, it's not going to be like one and done, it's going to be just, you know, an ongoing kind of a thing, like how you, how do you continue to move through your college time with your strong faith intact.
Mia: Yeah, and I definitely think because I am a PoliSci major, I have to take like a bunch of political classes and like history classes, so I'm definitely going to be bombarded with a lot of that because for example, I have a friend who is a junior, he's a computer science major and I was telling him about all this stuff and he said like he hasn't experienced any of that just because he only has to take math classes and stuff like that?
00:33:49
So, I'm definitely going to be bombarded with it a lot.
Rechelle: Okay, what do you want to do with your political science major?
Mia: That's an interesting question. Um So I'm thinking, I mean there's a lot of things you can do with a political science major, like the lawyer or you know, go into politics or be a social breaker. Um I'm thinking of going more into the law enforcement route.
Rechelle: Oh, interesting.
Mia: Yeah, like being a criminal investigator. I mean I feel like ever since I was little, I wanted to be a detective. Um So that's what I'm thinking about doing. I don't know though, honestly, I feel like I'm just gonna end up being a mom one day
Rechelle: Don't say just because being a mom is really hard.
Mia: Yeah, it is very important, and my mom says like that's the hardest job she's had as being a mom. But yeah, I feel like I'm gonna end up being a mom one day so I might not even like use my degree, which I don’t have a problem with
Rechelle: Well, who knows, you may end up dabbling elsewhere along the way.
00:35:02
I mean it just, it just all depends. Sometimes it's, you know, juggling a couple balls at the same time motherhood along with something and then sometimes it's, you know motherhood and nothing else. I mean really you get to pick; you get to pick how you want to do that and I don't think there's a really right or wrong answer. I think it has to it comes back to the values that you hold and how you and your partner want to, you know, move forward.
Mia: Mhm Yeah well yeah.
Rechelle: I'm excited to see the next chapter for Mia, I really am. Um wow. Well first of all in conclusion, let me say that you embody being unabashedly for sure you are completely unapologetic for who you are for your faith, and you get to be that you get to do that, and I really just want to speak that into you because that's so important to me that you get to be you right.
00:36:09
Um you know some of the women in our in our session, I mean some of the older women in our session, you can almost feel that they weren't necessarily able to fully be themselves and that that made me really sad. But you hear you are sort of the threshold of the whole thing, and you get to be that and do that. So, thank you for sharing with us your passion, your faith and you know some of the experiences you're having in college and You're 17 and you have a wonderful, God willing, very long, fruitful life ahead of you, thank you for being an inspiration. Do you have anything in conclusion that you'd like to say?
Mia: Mm I think you had a good conclusion. I really like what you said.
Rechelle: Good.
Mia: Well, thank you here, thank you for having me be a part of this.
00:37:11
Rechelle: Well, I'm just I love how it all worked out. I love, I just love from the water bottle onto like where we're talking about and all of a sudden, it's like, oh my gosh, you do, you do it. Yeah, do it okay. And then we're doing it and you know; I find it crazy how it worked out. I think it's wonderful. I think it's so wonderful. I love it. All right. And now I need to get to work because this is coming out tomorrow and I will send it to you in the morning. Thank you, Mia, from the bottom of my heart, truly thank you so much for spending this time with us. Really appreciate it. I appreciate you. Thank you.
Mia: My pleasure. Thank you Everyone who listened.
Rechelle: Okay bye.
Outro Music
Rechelle: I hope I was able to really speak life into who Mia is, what she believes. It is so important to me to give space for each person to be who they are. We need to be respectful, not shameful when others don't think, feel, believe the way we do. I realize this is not always easy to do, but it should be our goal.
00:38:22
Each person has their own journey, and they need to do it their own way. Thanks for reminding us of that Mia. The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos quotes in a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show and other podcast platforms. If you want to lend your support and encouragement, we invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share on Instagram and Facebook. You can find us under unabashed you and if you want to connect via email unabashedyou@gmail.com for questions, comments etcetera. If you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout, I'd be happy to at you. Your info will not be shared, and you will only get that one email once a week. Website visits, social media, word of mouth and sharing this episode make us much more discoverable. Thank you for your support there. We want these conversations to help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way so continue to listen, read, and be inspired. May you go out into the world and be you. May you relish your passions, your challenges and even your shortcomings.
00:39:36
Be open to the shifts. Look for the gifts in the blessings and the hardships. It all makes you, you. Amen. Now go be unabashed. Be you.
Ben Hur Delfino is our guest today. Yes, I said Ben Hur. You’ll get to hear that story for sure. And he has one of the BEST laughs I have ever heard. In our Zoom call we froze on each other a few times but kept at it. Also I didn’t notice how far away my mic was initially so you will likely hear more echo from me in the beginning. Ben is next up for the Mahalo Maui series. And thanks for your patience in any technical pauses. Enjoy Ben as much as I did.
He did the thing. Ben took the gentle-arm twisting I supplied and took the risk of doing something new by being on the podcast. And he doesn’t regret it! Ben shared great insight through snapshots from his life. Don’t mind my tongue-tripping toward the end. Yadda, yadda, yadda. ANd by the way, the movie Ben Hur was from 1959.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
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We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Transcript
Rechelle
Welcome to an Unabashed You--conversations to become who you already are. Rechelle here to listen and encourage and to share another episode. The focus at UY is to be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So listen, read and be inspired. Grateful to the states who have been listening to recent episodes: California, Hawaii, Michigan Florida, New York Texas, Virginia, South Carolina, Ohio, Georgia, North Carolina, Vermont Illinois, Utah, and Wyoming. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Keep listening, reading, and being inspired by these conversations.
Ben Hur Delfino is our guest today. Yes, I said Ben Hur. You get to hear that story for sure and he has one of the best laughs I have ever heard. In our zoom call we froze on each other a few times but kept at it also. I didn't notice how far away my mic was initially so you will likely hear more echo from me in the beginning. Ben is next up for the Mahalo Maui series and thanks for your patience in any technical pauses. Enjoy Ben as much as I did.
Intro Music
Rechelle
So while we were in Maui we got to do something that's been on my bucket list for a long time walk into a Tiffany store and buy a little something that they would then wrap up in a Tiffany blue box and put in a Tiffany blue bag. That part was as special as the piece of jewelry itself and may I say my husband was game to help me check it off my list. Who? But our guest today was the one to help us. Ben is charming, fun, and friendly. We had a bit of a challenge, coordinating schedules, but we persevered and here we are welcome. Ben?
Ben Hur
Thank you. Aloha.
Rechelle
Oh, this is so fun. So this is the first podcast which is just excites me to no end. Excites me to no end. Is there anything you want the listener know before we get started?
Ben Hur
Well, if I was to describe myself and people who know me, they would say that I'm very fashionable, I'm a good observer, down to earth, a hard worker and currently I have been taking the initiative to be a risk taker. Being on this podcast is something new for me.
Rechelle
I love that. Well, thank you. That we are the risk that you're willing to take. That is wonderful. But those are, there's a wonderful phrase is the way that the people would describe you and to get us started. Now you've got a narrow who you are down to three words with three words. Would you use to describe yourself?
Ben Hur
I would say faithful, creative, and open minded.
Rechelle
Ooh, faithful, creative, open minded. Those are beautiful words that really starts to paint a picture of who you are. Oh, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Okay, have you ever played two truths and a lie?
Ben Hur
I have. Actually, I'm so sorry, I haven't, I read about it.
Rechelle
Okay, so it's three statements about yourself. One is not true and I have some fun trying to ferret out the one that's not true. So three things about you. Ready, go.
Ben Hur
Okay, I love to surf on my days off and enjoy the outdoor activities. Number two, I was a med student. And number three, I graduated high school at the age of 16.
Rechelle
Whoa, love the ocean, were a med student and graduated at 16. Oh my gosh, I think all of those could be true. I really do. Okay, so I'm gonna go, I'm gonna start at the beginning. OK, so don't say anything yet. Here's my thought of process: How on earth can you live in Hawaii? And I love the ocean and love the water and maybe you know, surf on occasion at the very minimum. Okay, so I'm going to put that one aside is true. secondly men student, I know you have a really good University of Hawaii. In fact, one of my previous students went on to Go there and she's now a doctor. So I know that's a possibility, I'm going to set that one aside. You graduated early at age 16. OK, I'm going with you were not a med student, that's what I'm going with?
Ben Hur
Actually I was a med student.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Okay, so you love surfing? So that's true. You love the water? You love surfing? That's true. Okay. And we know that what's true is that you were a med student? Okay. So tell me about that.
Ben Hur
Okay. So actually I'll tell you what is not true. I can't surf. I Did graduate from high school at the age of sixteen.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh.
Ben Hur
I wanted to make it a little bit challenging for you.
Rechelle
You did. You really tricked me. Oh my gosh. Okay. No one's ever tricked me that good before. Okay. Okay. So wait let's start at the top. But do you like the water?
Ben Hur
I love the water. I love the ocean, but I don't go out as much as I should and you are correct living in Hawaii I should be more out, but for whatever reason, I never find the time to do. So I mean when I’m off I'm a home body.
Rechelle
I get that. I will get to your career later. But I mean you're in a career. I mean I mean you're, you know, you the stereotypical, not everybody, but a good portion of people that we know who live in Hawaii work in the hospitality industry because that's what we all want to go there and visit and we need to eat and we need somewhere to you know sleep and all that stuff. And So of course we like to shop. So and so there's that picture of you know serving or a service waiting tables at night surfing during the day. Okay, so you don't surf, but you love the water. Okay. And you were a med student. Okay. Okay. And so you also graduated at 16. So tell me about your education. How did that, how did that all go?
Ben Hur
How it happened at graduating at the age of 16? My father was actually, I was part of the military family, was a military brat, you know what people would say? Um I'm the youngest in the family, so my father retired and him being originally from Manila Philippines. Um he took me along there and that's when I continue my education and at that time they did not have intermediate school or junior high.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh.
Ben Hur
Oh yes, I went straight from, I don't even recall graduating from fifth grade. I think I was in the middle of the year of sixth grade and I went straight to first year high school when I arrived there.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh.
Ben Hur
Yeah. So I took what they call like an examination, I forgot what it was called, but it was basically an exam to determine whether I would repeat my sixth grade in elementary or should I go straight to high school. So upon taking that test, that course I passed where it was equivalent where I'll eligible to go to straight to high school.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh. So you skipped all the middle school years, went right to high school to high school. Now. Looking back, was that a good thing for you? I mean obviously you've made good out of it, but if you had to do that part over again, would you do it the same way?
Ben Hur
I would most likely do it the same way because it really taught me to put up with the challenges because there's something that I was not prepared for and one of them was like the maturity side, I was still in elementary mode and all of a sudden in high school mode, so I had to quickly adjust myself.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, that must have been really so very challenging socially. And then secondarily I would think physically because they're at a different physical development stage than your at and that can make it difficult also
Ben Hur
and learning the culture, learning the language, and understanding the lifestyle, it was all just like I would say it was overwhelming, but when I think about it, you know it was it was a good thing because it really made me be stronger, you know, it's strengthened my skills, you know, to always be positive to always move forward. Um look at more of the positive side rather than the negative side of being, well it really empowered my inner self.
Rechelle
Yeah, so looking back it was a good thing, but at the time I'm sure it was very, very hard
Ben Hur
at the beginning, the transition was hard and that's where I got to get my inspiration from the old Tv series Doogie Howser. young listeners out there don't know it but well google it, they can google it
Rechelle
they can google it. Yes, good for you. So did you go from high school graduation then into what's the next step? Medical school? Or college for like biology or whatever one would study
Ben Hur
I did, I went as far as I believe, 2.5 years and I was going into my third year of medical press and I was starting off as a medical technician and uh it was a well known school there in Manila called Far Eastern University. They were a Chinese, very well established medical school with a strong history of being very um I guess you would say how to get into the university to enter the school, it would be that easy, you have to take all these types of exams and requirements and qualifications in order to get in because they only allowed a certain corridor, a certain number of students. Um so it was very, it was very challenging, but it was very also inspirational for, you know, building again my inner self of my strength, right? Always not give up.
Rechelle
Right. So that's a that's a good one. That's a really good one. Oh my goodness, wow, okay, I'm gonna, we're gonna like finish this part, the how you know the, getting to know you and then I think I want to circle back to uh you know, I have got a couple of questions career wise, so, so okay, so, you know, a lot of people are watching this show Ted Lasso and I don't know if you've seen it and if you haven't, that's fine, this is no kind of commentary on your tv viewing habits whatsoever. Have you seen Ted Lasso?
Ben Hur
I haven’t, but I did watch the trailer of it
Rechelle
that's great. Did you find it intriguing or compelling?
***Ben Hur
I did. My coach, I believe in Kansas, a little bit and how you went to, I believe England to coach for a professional. Yes, so I can imagine he, he must be, have gone through all these challenges, similar to what I have gone through going for the country, yes, understanding the culture, yes, lifestyle
Rechelle
Yes, look at those parallels. Exactly. I and so one of the questions was if you had seen it, why is it a thing? And I'll kind of answer that and I think it's such a shot in the arm of positivity amongst, you know, him being a fish out of water and then he's getting to know all these people, but no matter what happens, he's so positive and he has these quirky sayings and you know, these characters go through these different transitions and become better versions of themselves because he came into their life, not that he was trying to come in and quote unquote, change them, that's not why he was there, he was just there to, you know, to do the job. But anyway, I just, I find the show very uplifting and especially with what our world has gone through this past year and a half. I think that's one of the reasons it is so popular because it's so nice for a change of pace to have something that's just really, really upbeat positive now.
00:13:19
Are you, have you been or are you binge watching anything? These, these covid times?
Ben Hur
Well I have I just finished the Netflix series of Downtown Abbey.
Rechelle
Oh yes, yes, So you watch the whole thing of that? So you started from the beginning? Well then that was a good long ride. Yes. Isn't that wasn't that like five seasons or something with a couple of Christmas specials, something like that. Ooh, that's a good one. That is a good one.
Ben Hur
And what is interesting at first, I don't think I would have liked it because it was an English film, I wasn't too fond of the heavy accent and I was like I know in the past when I watched like four films, especially from um England, it was the narrative is a little bit too long but then when I first saw the 1st and 2nd episode I was like I clicked on it. Yeah, I was like wow, this is something different, Something good, you know, and something different always can be something good and not in a negative way.
00:14:26
Rechelle
Exactly. Exactly. Oh I'm so impressed and you made it through the whole thing. I have a friend who's obsessed with that. Maybe she has gone to visit the actual place where they filmed it. I mean she just loves it. Loves, loves, loves it. Okay, I have a tip for you for future and maybe you already did this. But this is something that even when someone is speaking English, if you're having a tough time tracking what they're saying, turn on your captions, your closed captions in English, seriously, I'm serious. It meant you're like, oh that's what they're saying. Oh, okay, because the accent can be so thick sometimes that you like, I know they're saying English words, but I don't have any idea what they just said. Uh yeah, that can be very helpful and that's something that I tried during Covid, I was like okay, I'm gonna remember this if I'm having trouble in any way with what they're saying the accent.
00:15:35
Sometimes people are just too mumbly, you know, they don't even have an accent there mumbling, you're like what's that? An important plot? I don't know, I don't know what they say, they say too fast. Yes, yes, so just keep that in mind. Keep that in mind. Okay, so Downton Abbey was your binge? Oh that's so good. Okay, so let's share how you got to Maui, How'd you get to Maui?
Ben Hur
I was in Maui for work. Um I was helping our team with our company. Um They were kind of shorthanded because at that time when you were folks were there um because of Covid we had to store closures, a lot of shops were closed. When people return to work, they had their vacation dates high. So basically, the time being when you both were visiting, a majority of them were on vacation.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, that's great. Okay, so how did that? Right, yeah, he's on vacation. How did you get to Hawaii?
00:16:37
So you covered somebody's vacation? How did you get to Hawaii? Okay. You were in the Philippines. And then when was the next stop?
Ben Hur
Oh So I uh I came back here, I believe that the age I was 18 or 19 in ‘94, um ‘90 or ‘91 or ‘92 sorry. And uh I decided that hey, uh I want to be back home in Hawaii because this was my father's last stop before he retired. I love the weather. Um whether it's very important to me. Um I love the scenery of seeing the ocean driving by it. just being around it. Gives me that positive energy. So um who I was at a location that I wanted to most likely spend more from my life, you know here on the island. Yeah. You know maybe a time when I could think about moving somewhere else to another state and there are times I have thought about it but it was very difficult.
00:17:42
Rechelle
Well you know what it's really I mean even just hearing you talk and I'm transporting myself back and there is something to that. I mean I haven't been to a gazillion tropical places so I can't speak for all of them. But I will say that when I'm in Hawaii I am I am very relaxed. I like to take things as they come. If there's just there's this peace and tranquility that happens and I do think some of it is being surrounded by water and isn't there you know some sort of a science behind being near the water. I can't remember I read something a while back about I want to say ionization but I may just be completely making that up. But something happens to our well being center when we are near the ocean.
Ben Hur
So I believe that's true because you know just knowing the that you are surrounded by this paradise of the beautiful air.
00:18:52
The beautiful wind, beautiful people, beautiful scenery. It's relaxing knowing that you're in a place that calm people and we describe it as locals as the Aloha spirit. So we always try to stay at a positive energy. So we use the low has an expression at times when you're feeling down. So you could be walking down the street and you don't know the person, you can just say aloha and that greeting is just gonna cheer that person up. You know you may not know the person, you may not know what they're going through but when you cross paths and to say aloha you know it's just it's the same way just saying hi but in our case on our islands we say Aloha and it really builds up this energy you know it's like you're transporting from your positive energy to the other person when you're saying the word a lot to them because it's a greeting so they feel like oh yeah you know well
Rechelle
and I think it's more than just hi, I really do. It is yeah.
Ben Hur
It's a very strong expression.
Rechelle
00:19:54
Yes yes yes yes absolutely. Okay so now we're going to take the deep dive into your passion and I don't know if your passion is your career. We're going to find out just a minute but I am going to say that you work at Tiffany and so I got to have my bucket list. Uh experience happened under your watch and then you had another gal help us as well. But it was such a fun experience and a great thing to be able to do because I have another friend not the friend referred to but another friend who's all about Tiffany. Tiffany Tiffany Tiffany. She loves your store. So this got me curious about you and I mean this is definitely your career, you're going up the Tiffany ladder how how did we get into first of all? How did we get into Tiffany? What degree? Okay. You just need to tell me, tell me, tell me at all.
Ben Hur
00:20:59
So, you know, you know, there are islands are known as tourism were based on, as you mentioned earlier hospitality. So everywhere, everywhere you go, you're surrounded by um, hospitality that is somewhat connected to tourism. It's all about customer service, it's all about entertaining the clients and making everybody feel positive and happy, especially during those who are on vacation. It's funny too, I know it is very different. I mean, what, I never thought I would have gone this path in my life. Um, I love, you know, meeting people, but I never thought I would be in an industry where it's more of a form of entertainment, where I'll be having the luxury to meet people every day and getting to know them. And you know what? It draws me inside of me that I enjoy this because it was like, I'm an explorer again, to discover, discover all these.
Rechelle
00:22:09
You're cutting out there for a second. I hope you're coming back. You cut out now, are you now you're back? Okay, good, you're back. Okay, so, you know, that's okay, you were saying that you get to explore every day that you didn't imagine this would be your career path, but here you are in it and you're enjoying it and you're thriving because you're such a people person. I mean, I knew that from the second we walked in. You're a people person, right?
Ben Hur
Yeah. What also I would share is that there was a possibility during my younger, during my um, back in the year before I joined uh, Tiffany's was I was almost getting into the flight industry, so I was going to be a flight attendant.
Rechelle
I could see that, I could see that because you're so good with people
Ben Hur
Back in the day all my friends and family were saying that. Even my professor in college told me, you know what you should be a flight attendant.
Rechelle
Oh my Gosh, Well, you know, that's a compliment because what it means is that you're very friendly, Your vivacious. You listen, you see people you care about, you know their needs, plus you get to travel, you know. Okay, so you didn't go directly from med school to Tiffany, I'm guessing.
Ben Hur
No, it was first I had several different jobs as you know, it would be normal for everyone in the early life, it would jump from one job to another. So I was also in the restaurant industry, I was a host, I was also a server. I was in retail selling clothes, I sold men's suits and I think after that, that's when I went um, to inquire with the United Airlines at that time as a flight attendant went all the way through Chicago for the pre training and then I backed out because I got a call from Tiffany.
Rechelle
Really wow, wow. Oh wow, that is a really cool option to choose, right?
Ben Hur
Yeah, yeah.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh
Ben Hur
So I've had it at both ways. Either option I chose, I looked at it that I'm still going to get to meet people, I still get to entertain people and I think for either choice I would have um decided on I would be happy because it would be something that I enjoy doing.
Rechelle
Yes
Ben Hur
Again goes back to exploring. Maybe I'm not really currently flying around the world, but then I'm meeting people from around the world that's coming to me.
Rechelle
Yeah, that's so true. I mean let's be, let's be real. When we talk about a flight attendant, very hard job number one to, I mean, you know, their servers in the sky, you know, you know what I mean? They need to know all the emergency procedures and they need to stay calm in an emergency and all of that, which I hope we never have to be in that situation.
00:25:34
But day to day when they have a shift, you know, they've got a deal with people who are irritated and frustrated and the cart back and forth and I mean the job itself, it's got to be very tough. I mean just in terms of what you're doing and versus Tiffany people are coming in, they want to buy some jewels and they want to try stuff on and you know that part of it is very different. Of course. You know the travel, you nobody can argue with the perk of being able to travel. But anyway, so you chose a really cool path and maybe an unexpected one. And yet, here you are, some years later, I'm assuming, and you're, you know, you're heading up the Tiffany ladder because I know one of the days we were talking about maybe get together, you had corporate training. So it's not just like, okay, you work at Tiffany, you're good to go, okay, go sell you. They are.
00:26:34
It sounds like they are continually wanting to, you know, build you into the brand. There you go, groom, and build you into the brand. Mmm. That's wonderful. I really like that. And do you have aspirations to keep going? You know, to keep going?
Ben Hur
Yes, I do. And I hope that I can see as how far and potential I can go and I don't mind like relocating to other places. Um It will be all about the right timing.
Rechelle
Nice. Oh, I'm just so excited for you. I can't wait to see what transpires we're gonna need to keep in touch. Okay, so one more thing we have to talk about. Well, maybe two more things. Let's see. Okay, so I introduced you as Ben now I'm going to tell the listener that your first name is Ben Hur. Now you knew that you we already told you we're gonna need to talk about that because we don't need that many people.
00:27:41
I can't imagine I've ever met somebody whose first name was Ben Hur. Two words just like the movie title. So now you're gonna have to tell us, you know which parent that was and how that happened.
Ben Hur
I'm sorry you got broken up.
Rechelle
Okay, how about now? Can you hear me now?
Ben Hur
Yeah, good. Yes, I do. I can hear you now
Rechelle
Okay, so which parent was into Ben Hur and how did that happen?
Ben Hur
From what I was told um from my father, was that my my dad and my mom were big fans of the movie Ben Hur at the time. And uh they were actually thinking about making me Benjamin and they thought, why don't we do something unique and something different, you know? So because they were a big fan of Child Heston, they decided why don't we go for Ben Hur? I really, really appreciated that. That was the decision made because that got me a long way um with
Rechelle
You're cutting out again, but that got you a long way, having a very unique name.
00:29:03
I don't think there is another Ben Hur, I mean, I can't imagine, right? There you are, you're back. Okay, so you've never met another Ben Hur. Right?
Ben Hur
No, I have not.
Rechelle
Yeah, that's just a very unique name and you're right because your name is so unique, it probably has opened doors and has made you more memorable than you already would be with your great smile and your laugh, that I absolutely love your laugh.
Ben Hur
Thank you. Hahaha.
Rechelle
There it is, there it is. Right on cue. Right on cue. Oh, I love it. Okay, so is there a passion that I that I that we didn't get to that you have?
Ben Hur
Well, yeah, it was, it was really hard for me to something to think about. Um there's so many things that I would consider a passion. Uh one thing I say that I love, I have a deep passion for mid century, especially mid century Homes.
Rechelle
00:30:09
Okay, so that modern madman feel,
Ben Hur
Yes, I loved it, you know, discovering like what type of gadgets were back then, what kind of designs of houses, the cars, the lifestyle, um just everything about it, you know, because I see the creativity, the uniqueness of the design and I just admired it for many years.
Rechelle
Mm that is a very cool passion. You and my stepdaughter will get along very well, she's an architect and that’s her jam, She loves mid century for sure. Oh, very nice. Okay, okay, so mid century, obviously you watch Mad Men?
Ben Hur
Yes, yes, I have,
Rechelle
How could you not love in mid century, Okay, and then I think, you know, as we kind of conclude here, is there anything else that you feel like you want to share with the listeners before we wrap up?
Ben
00:31:15
Well, I just want to say that, you know, um I noticed that in your episode you have this part a quote for everybody to share. So I wanted to share one of them
Rechelle
Oh, a piece of wisdom, A piece of wisdom. You keep handy, You're right. I wasn't doing that in the masala Maui stories, but you're right. Please share a piece of wisdom with us. I would love that. Yes, I love it. Okay, what's your wisdom?
Ben Hur
So I think so. I think with the current events right now, what we're going to? Yes, Oh, they come across often, you know, different walks of life is what John F Kennedy quoted was “ask not what your country can do for you, Ask what you can do for your country.” And the way I look at it is, it doesn't have to say country per se. It's just pertains to goodwill. You know, it brings you the challenge of everyone to contribute somewhat to a good public service or goodwill. I think there's a lot of expectations with, you know, what's going on right now, a lot of sensitivity and it's all about
00:32:27
Sometimes I feel there's people are saying me. So I feel there should be an acknowledgment that there should be a balance if there's an expectation, there's also what you would have to give contribute so that it's equal. Yeah.
Rechelle
Oh that's so beautiful. Yeah. That really is beautiful. And that's a really, I haven't heard that quote in a while and that is a quote that I definitely keep in my head and it is about, yeah, not just thinking about me, me, me, me, me, but you know, how can I yeah, by giving you know, by giving you end up getting as much, if not more uh you know, the act of giving gives you so much more than I think. Well, my tongue, my tongue is twisted right now. You understand what I'm trying to say.
Ben Hur
Yes, yes. In order for to have an expectation to come to you also contributed contribution to others.
Rechelle
00:33:32
Yes, exactly, exactly. I love that. That's wonderful. That's really well said. And um I'm hoping that the next time we chat that you've been to the beach and you've been able to enjoy the ocean and that wonderful Aloha spirit at the beach because as you said, you haven't been able to get there as much as you'd like because you're a home body on your days off. I understand home body. I really do. I mean you're in my home right now and we're in your home. So we're both home. We get that. But the boy there sure is something though in uh really rejuvenating about being down the ocean. So I'm hoping you can make that a regular practice and thank you for bringing up the wisdom piece that's uh really should keep that in no matter what series I'm doing. Because I think in a way that's one of my favorite parts of each episode is hearing the piece of wisdom that somebody really values.
00:34:43
Because it's speaking life into us. It's reminding us that, you know, whatever the wisdom is. And today it was ask not what you can do for your country, ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country for you, but what you can do for your country. Gosh, my brain today. But isn't that when he didn't, isn't he one of the ones that originated the Peace Corps kind of based on that sort of concept of giving back, Giving back. Yeah, that's very good.
In conclusion I am so glad you took this risk. I am so glad you decided to you know, take the risk and do it. And I hope right now you feel really good about this experience as it concludes.
Ben Hur
And I want to thank you for the push. If it wasn't for you and you push, I don't think I would ever got it.
Rechelle
I was, I was just determined. I was like, I know I know once he does this, he's going to feel really good about it. I just know it. I know it.
Ben Hur
So I just listened to some of your episode, you know, I came across like I did your recommendation. Yeah, Santana and then I also scroll down and look at some of, and listening to some of your older uh, podcast. I try to find some similarity and I found one that was Ben, it was with episode 57 like, okay, let me go listen to this guy and I was like, wow, there's a lot of similarities, not only by the name, but also the three words that he chose guys is like, you know, being open minded, um, flexibility, adaptable, you know, which is pretty much going on right now, you know, we all have to be flexible, we all have to have that balance. If you want something, give something you do what's good for everybody.
Rechelle
That's so good. Ben, I think you need to start a podcast, look at all the wisdom you have
Ben Hur
and it was so pleasing to hear from somebody who is at that generation at a young age, you know, because you wouldn't, you want to have, expect someone from a generation that is new to say these kind of inspirational things too. Everybody, you know, to podcast it, you would think that somebody young all they want is me, me, me, me, no, he had some life, good life experiences to share, which I also took away with and um, I was very happy to have learned about this podcast and going through the episodes and picking up a little wisdoms and here and there, because sometimes you don't come across these um wisdom of words and it's a good reminder or sometimes inspirational, thank you.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, you just, well, you've made my day, made my week, you've made my month, you've made my year. I mean, that's really what this is about. It's talking to people that aren't famous and getting a little bit of their story and hearing, you know, it's not like we set out to be inspirational in the sense that it's not like, okay, Ben, you're not going to have a conversation and you're going to be really inspiring, okay. You know, you're being you, and that's the whole point. You're being you. But I can really gather and glean a lot from what you have to say by sharing some of your story. I can I can walk away and be like, that's right. We have to give as much as we get, if not more. And so that's such a good reminder as I go through the rest of my day and thank you, thank you for your wonderful words. They really touched me and move me, thank you.
Ben Hur
No, thank you. You really pushed me for that change and I have to say, contributor, you're a big contributor to that. You got change and changes are always good.
Rechelle
00:38:55
I love it. I love it and we're going to stay in touch for sure because I want to see these next things that you go through. And last question, does anybody call you Ben Hur? Or does everybody call you Ben Hur?
Ben Hur
Only my father does.
Rechelle
Okay. Yeah.
Ben Hur
You know, Yeah, I guess it's more sentimental for him because it would give him the reminisce of reminding himself that’s the name I chose for my son.
Rechelle
Right, Well, and you're, you're so young. It's not even like you say your parents like that movie, but you're, I mean, you're, it doesn't even feel like they're old enough to have like that movie unless they like vintage movies that maybe they like vintage movies because that, that movie is very, I mean, I'm gonna know I'm going to have to look it up. I want to say fifties. I mean in the 50's something. Yeah, I mean, yeah.
00:40:00
Anyways, okay, they like, they like, they like, they like their child and Heston wasn't Charles was Kirk techno. That's oh, I am Spartacus, I think. Okay, I'm thinking I'm Spartacus. Okay, right. Yeah, similar, similar timeframe. Right. Oh, Ben, this is,
***Ben Hur
Fun fact, is that, that's the only movie that is still a lot of 11 Academy Awards that I know that has the only movie that movie that tied it The same 11 Academy Awards was the movie Titanic. However it was said that the Ben Hur classic had the most prestigious type of award, like you Titanic had best music that you know whatsoever, best coffee. But when you're looking at the type of Ben Hur
Rechelle
very good look at you know it all your benefactor, I love it. Oh, that's great then this has been such a pleasure, wow. Thank you so much for again for your willingness even though I did take your elbow and just, just very gently just come on, come on.
00:41:08
I know, but thank you for that. I just knew, I mean just having connected with you and your just your energy and all that. I thought he's going to end up loving this. I just know it. So I'm so glad you said yes, thank you. And let's be in touch soon. Okay?
Ben Hur
Will do.
Rechelle
Thanks Ben. Talk to you later.
Ben
Bye.
Outro Music
Rechelle
He did the thing. Ben took the gentle arm twisting I supplied and took the risk of doing something new by being on the podcast and he doesn't regret it. Ben shared great insight through snapshots from his life And don't mind my tongue tripping toward the end, Yada, Yada, Yada. And by the way, the movie Ben Hur was from 1959. The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes in a blog with embedded audio at unabashedly you dot com you can find the show on other podcast platforms.
Want to lend your support encouragement, we invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review, and share. On Instagram and Facebook, You can find us under unabashed you If you want to connect the emails unabashedyou@gmail.com for questions, comments etcetera. If you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout, I'd be happy to add you and your info will not be shared. website visits, social media, word of mouth and sharing these episode makers discoverable. So thanks for your support. We want these conversations to help you think celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing may you embrace the Aloha spirit of love and friendship. Do that share peace and compassion be that show mercy, sympathy, grace, and kindness because it makes a difference. This breath of life, Aloha. Amen. Go be unabashed, be you.
Ending Music
Next up in our Mahalo Maui series is a young woman who is a friend of a friend. Maria Hilman. She had a little nudge long ago that became a dream coming true. Her faith guides who she is and how she moves forward. Maria has a grateful heart and a song in her voice. Check it out. It’s a gift.
So what did I learn from Maria? Primarily how unabashed she is about her faith. I can appreciate anyone who has strong convictions especially as they lead her forward into places she didn’t know existed. Very cool for sure. Also the importance of saying yes to the opportunities that come your way. Look where they can lead. You just never know.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
You can find Maria Hilman at Maria's website or on Instagram Maria on IG.
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Transcript
00:00:00
Welcome to Unabashed You -- conversations to become who you already are. Rechelle here to listen, encourage and to share another episode. The focus at UY is to be who you are without apology, as you are one of a kind without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, listen, read and be inspired.
Let's thank the countries who have been listening to recent episodes, the US, Australia, Nigeria, Spain, the UK, Canada, Germany, Congo, Denmark, India, Netherlands, Bulgaria, France and the Philippines. Wow, grateful? You bet, keep listening, reading and being inspired by these conversations and if any of you would like to come on the show, give me a holler, we can make that happen. Why not?
Next up in our Mahalo Maui series as a young woman who was a friend of a friend, Maria Hellman. She had a little nudge long ago that became a dream come true. Her faith guides who she is and how she moves forward. Maria has a grateful heart and a song in her voice, check it out. It's a gift.
Intro Music
While in Hawaii, I asked my friend Emily who lives there to come on the show; she said she had a better idea in mind, her friend Maria Hillman who graciously said, yes. This is what I know about Maria, she sings beautifully. I youtubed her wow, we'll get more into that in a bit. If she and Emily are friends, that means she's creative, kind, fun and deep, right off the bat. Let's get to know her welcome Maria.
Maria
Good morning! Hello, good afternoon.
Rechelle
Yes, yes, it's, I think it's morning for you. And afternoon for me. Wonderful. Well, you know, we both have a great affection for Emily. So, I love that she connected us. What did you? I'm sorry miss that. You do too.
Maria
Yes, we love you, Emily.
00:02:16
Rechelle
Yes, we love you All right. Is there anything you want the listeners to note before we sort of dive in before we start?
Maria
Oh, that's a broad question. I'm excited to be here and I hope these next 30 minutes can just be an um, just a moment of encouragement for you.
Rechelle
Yes. And I love “encourage” that word encouragement because I've always, I think naturally wanted to do that for other people. So that is, that word really, you know hits me in a really great place. Alright. Three words to describe yourself.
Maria
Yes. So, I had to write these down and think long and hard about it because I'm like three words. Only three words. Yes, I can. If I can sum it up in three words, I would say authentic. I would say deep and then I would say very outgoing.
Rechelle
Yeah, those are great. Authentic. Deep. Outgoing. And I use the word deep in my discussions.
Maria
Wow. I was in tune. You were in tune.
00:03:25
Rechelle
Yes, authentic. Uh, it's clear you are authentic. Authentic, deep and outgoing and yes, then that circles right back to Emily because if you know Emily, she's very outgoing and her friends are outgoing.
Maria
Give me a new situation and new environment, a new person -- I'm like so excited.
Rechelle
I love that. Okay. Two Truths and a Lie. Are you familiar with this?
Maria
Yes
Rechelle
Okay great.
Maria
I've played it before and oh man. It's just, it's a good thing I guess when it's very difficult to find a live think of a lie. You know I mean I hope that that's to say that's maybe a good thing, but I've got one here for you guys. So, let's see. So, um I've been to over 14 countries doing mission work. Um I've always wanted a puppy and um I played college soccer for four years.
00:04:26
Rechelle
14 countries doing missions work. Always wanted a puppy and um played college soccer for four years. One of those is a lie. Okay. Um I'm gonna go… I think you probably always wanted a puppy. Although that's a question for me. Don't say anything yet because I feel like if you wanted one, why haven't you got one yet? So, we'll put that one aside. You probably played soccer. I mean why not? So, I'm gonna I'm drawn to the country one and here's the reason why because you used a number. So, to me it could be, well she went to 13 or 15 or 12 or whatever so I'm going with that one is the lie.
Maria
Ooh so that one actually is true.
Rechelle
Oh my God!
Maria
I was like I'm going to be very specific.
Rechelle
So that was good girl that threw me off. 14 countries for missions work.
Maria
Yes. Yes. It's been part of my life since a young age as a young girl, my mom started doing that and you know, exposing me just to what else was out there. And so that is a huge part of my upbringing. Having traveled a lot and having it be with the purpose of just serving in missions.
Rechelle
Wow, so I'm really um very moved by that, that your mom started that and that you've continued it because you're clearly a young woman. So, the idea that you've been to 14 countries already serving is extraordinary, truly extraordinary.
Maria
Yeah, it's all thanks and just boy to God for that because it's been a remarkable experience and all of those that he would use someone like myself or you know, any of us to just be a messenger of his love and his hope on with his grace.
Rechelle
So absolutely. Okay, I'm going to take another stab. I'm just going to go down the list. So, you're not always wanted a puppy.
Maria
I've always wanted a puppy. Never had a dog in my life. I've never had one. And if you know me, like if I see a dog on the street, I'm like, oh, like I'm talking to it. Like it's, you know, just as important as the person walking and I'm like so excited at any little puppy. Any dog.
Rechelle
Okay, so why haven't you gotten a dog or a puppy?
Maria
I think just being raised just by my mom and I think for her, I was clearly probably enough of energy for her. And it just was not something that I just ever that ever happened. And you know, it was never like…
Rechelle
I get that because your mom was busy being a single mom, it sounds like totally understand that. But what about now? I mean, what about now?
Maria
That's a great question. So, we've been, I mean, a little bit of my story here, we're here in Maui, we've been here for almost 10 years and so we rent where we live and you know, that's a huge part. You have landlords that are like, oh, all day dogs are fine and then actually hear the renting um just community and it's very frowned upon to have a dog if you're looking for a place because they're just very no, no. And I understand because there's been some kind of stories, you know, now we have two boys and they're asking for a dog. And so, we are definitely reaching that threshold of like, okay, something's might need to change because um this is clearly a joy that we're all missing.
Rechelle
Right.
Maria
Missing from our lives. For any of you that have dogs, I'm sure you would agree.
Rechelle
Right, well, yes, we have a puppy-ish. She's getting close. Well, she's actually 10 months today. Oh my gosh! Right, so she's yeah, she's um she's getting to be big and yeah, the puppy thing is really, I think if, if a person likes dogs, they really should get a puppy at one point in their life, and I just have that whole puppy experience.
Maria
Right. We just we just did the kids first, so hopefully that's waking up in the night again with the puppy.
Rechelle
That's going to be a breeze. You're right, it's going to be a breeze after having two kids. Oh my gosh.
Maria
Oh yeah, and then with soccer, it was only for a year, because I went to Bethel University in ST Paul Minnesota, and that's where I was born and raised.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, we have family in Minnesota!
Maria
It is a great place in that state, it will always be home, will always be a special place in my heart. So, um but then after the first year, I went back into missions and kind of, that reentry into the mission organization that I was a part of growing up doing most trips with has been a huge part of my life and what actually landed us here in Maui, so it was a big change, I didn't know that was going to happen, I thought this was my road like sports and college and God definitely made it clear that he had bigger plans and not that those were any least, but I think I was just definitely write some other things that weren't probably as important.
Rechelle
And right, you thought you knew where the path was and he said, oh no, not so much, we're going to steer you, we got a left turn, right turn, however you want to think of it, good, I want to get more into that in a minute. Now… Have you seen Ted Lasso? Have you seen this show?
Maria
Yes, yeah.
Rechelle
Wonderful. Okay, your favorite character?
00:10:06
Maria
Okay, well of the few episodes I watched, my husband loves the show and there's been moments of like I can't hang anymore but of the few that I have seen um one of, I have two, I mean Ted obviously is just, I mean his character is just, wow, whoever wrote this show and for him and then who he is an actor, he is incredible, like it's just that kind of person and I'm like, I hope I bring something of that into wherever I go because it's just contagious, his joy, his way he sees life, but um the person is a very small character, but it's a guy that's like “football is life…”
Rechelle
Yes, Danny Rojas!
Maria
But any time he says that I just bust out laughing and it's just a moment of just joy and funny and um and just that relates his passion, I relate yes, in and just something as small as soccer or whatever, but and he brings that everywhere no matter where it is.
Rechelle
Right, right. That actor does a very good job, he's so believable that I can't even believe he's an actor, I'm convinced he's Danny Rojas and that they just kind of scooped him up and said just that you could just keep doing that, keep doing that just when in doubt say, “football is life.”
00:11:27
Maria
Exactly, so I just find that show just so many layers.
Rechelle
And just well and it's so positive and I think that's why I wanted to ask people lately if they've seen it because you know with everything we've gone through as a world, as a world the past year and a half coming up on two years and pretty soon here, it's a great shot in the arm of just goodness, being positive, you know, being for other people, I mean just the whole thing, it's just a beautiful and I had watched it season one and then my husband is not a big tv movie person, but I said you know, I think you might like this. Oh, he just loves it, he just loves it. Yeah, he loves it. So yeah, that's a good one. Okay, so now I want it and so this is actually part of your story is how you got to Maui, so you kind of kind of touched on it just a bit but tell us how you got to Maui.
00:12:33
Maria
Yes, so it is a wild story. Never in my life did I imagine I would live um the majority of it in Hawaii, like never, I'm like I said a Midwest girl through and through which the irony I was raised though by a Colombian mother who is just, you know, so he was just incredible, just little mix of growing up in the Midwest, but with a very strong um Latin, American culture and upbringing and so um but yeah, I think it was through the times of just missions and being exposed to that, that just began to pull and tug on my heart and really be a part of the catalyst to so much of the change and growth and transformation I experienced in my faith with God and so, um I knew that I wanted to give my life to this, I knew in some way, shape or form, I wanted to um be just a vessel for God to use and to be um just seeing parts of the world and seeing that there's areas let alone right outside our door, that people are needing hope, people are needing um just someone to come alongside them and share that someone really loves them and just to, to be a practical blessing to be just a messenger of just um just God's message, his gospel and so um with that I tried to go about it my own way and be like “no I’m gonna do college” and that was a little bit of that earlier speaking of soccer and all those things, but God just really quickly shifted um, my path in um, that coming of that second year and so I went back into YWAM missions.
Rechelle
I've heard of that, okay.
Maria
They’re all over the world, they have basis in every state, almost let alone different countries, many different countries and um, their main hub is in Kona Hawaii, which is on the big island. Um, there they have what's called University of the Nations and they run many different programs catered to many unique walks of life, whether you're a young kid out of high school, whether your youth, whether you're married, whether you're someone in the workplace like they have so many different programs for people to come and serve and to be just those messengers of the gospel and hope um for wherever you are in your life. And so, um that being said, I went to Denver Colorado and just started my journey in missions doing my own um schooling, which they provide for your first entry into Youth of the mission, it's called discipleship training school and it's a six-month long program where you get three months of just being poured into. I mean, wow, a lot of growth, a lot of healing, a lot of just, it's, it's about God and you and then from there being able to um which is so God's mission to, to transform and to go and transform the nation's and make Disciples of Nations and so from after those three months you go for another three months into a country or place wherever it may be, you here in the United States and you just go and you plant and you serve for those 2.5, 3 months and I'd say, I don't know which part of the journey is more transformative like you and you're trying with the Lord and just growing more to know who God is, but then walking out in that truth and sharing it with other people's lives changed.
00:16:00
Rechelle
So okay, so did you leave college in the sense that you then, because you felt a different direction and then you, is Denver a natural hub, that would be sort of the next step for the three months or was there a selection process?
Maria
Um No, you can look online really anywhere and look for, you can just type in YWAM, um you know Minnesota or what, you know, and it'll pop up the bases that are in different states if you're looking and for some reason, I chose Colorado.
Rechelle
Okay, that's what I was trying to get to. Okay, so for some reason you're okay, you're in ST Paul and you're like, “well, you know, Denver, you know…”
Maria
A lot of snowboarding and all those things like that would be cool, like, it's got to be, you know about what I want.
Rechelle
Okay, so I see now how you got there, okay, so from there now three months there and then the next three months, where were you sent off to? And did you have a say in that selection process?
Maria
Yes, yeah, so in that, when I did that, I went from my outrage to Fiji, Vanuatu and Australia. I know some amazing, incredible places and let alone, yeah, it was just amazing and transforming, but yeah, and then after that, so what's cool with YWAM is once you do, um discipleship training school, which for many is a pivotal point and whether they want to continue serving in ministry or take that and what they learned and go back into college or go back into the workplace wherever they are, um you can also continue to do further training schools that they offer. So I went, I was studying media communications and so I thought the next thing would be um, you know, the school specifically offered a film and production um school where they use that tool, that method of like artistry and creativity to be a vessel for ultimately the greater purpose and mission which is God and his love. So, I did that school and um, and then we traveled to Thailand to Burma and did uh documentary, all on sex trafficking and just, it was just, wow, like that was, I mean wild experience to say just the very least. Oh, my goodness, transformative and just eye opening and yeah from there, it just um actually that is the point in where Maui came on the map. So, I'm glad I'm proud of myself.
Rechelle
Yes, yes.
Maria
Sorry, I’m going in all directions.
Rechelle
No, no, but that's how, that's how life goes.
00:18:38
Maria
Yes. Yes, exactly. So, on this trip when we were in Thailand there was a team there from the YWAM Maui base and I met some people there and it was just like, I think literally when you say the word Maui it's like wow, Maui, you like, you just think like palm trees and coconuts, it's just like wow. And um anyway, so just through friendship and through connection they were like what are you doing? Like you should come out to this base and serve on staff and that was the first time anyone ever had Um shared with me that you cannot just do schools, but you can also apply to become on staff for this ministry and live and serve um wherever you want to go and and kind of be planted and there and then eventually lead other teams and take them. And so, um that was just like Okay God, I really don't know what's next, so why not? And so, I applied, and um came out here in 2008 and it's been history since.
00:19:43
Rechelle
Okay. So, when you first got there in 2008 what kind of ministry were you doing there?
Maria
Yeah so being here we um and I still say we it's so funny because I'm not part of what I want anymore but um there you are pretty much just coming alongside just the base and serving, so here we're having now all these kids come and do the discipleship training schools, like I explained earlier, they're coming and doing different schools that we also offer here, they also offer a school of biblical foundations which is very much just diving into the word, doing a lot of um studying apologetics and so each base has different schools that they that they offer, so like Denver had like the film and they had very creative arts, this space is very much just um they offer the discipleship training school and then a lot of um study different study schools like School of Biblical Foundations or they also have one called Reformation Generation, that's where if you feel called to the universities and to come and just grow and understanding of how to communicate.Um so yeah, I was just serving on staff here and I was just being one of the members here to just come alongside these young kids coming in like I was once at a different base and um yeah and then it was cool because while being here I was really beginning to discover this passion for music and this question for um for just really I think calling I've always had in my life, I've always enjoyed music my whole life. I was in choir as I was, you know, took lessons in piano and stuff, but um didn't necessarily have a purpose with it and then it was until coming out here and it coming into the form of like, will you serve us in this way and mind you, I was not good, I barely know how to play guitar, but they were like here just we'll give you this time, lead us. And it was just literally jumping into it that my heart came the most alive and I knew that I wanted to do for my life, so it's kind of in history since my husband was here, he was on the leadership team of this base. Oh, that's a funny story in itself, we don't have time for that.
Rechelle
Oh, so he was in leadership here? Oh my God…
Maria
It's a cool story. But the funny thing is he had to accept me to come on staff. Um If ever he gets to share that side of the story, The Lord is so funny and so good how he works, and we just were really great friends for a long time and then it just grew.
Rechelle
Oh, that's wonderful.
Maria
We're celebrating 10 years of marriage this month. All glory to God these 10 years.
Rechelle
That's wonderful. Congratulations, that's fantastic. Oh, my goodness! Okay, so that's how you got to Maui. Okay. And you through that process of being in Maui discovered something that was already kind of in your heart. But then it really, really had the chance to just burst open. Especially because there were no expectations. Nobody was saying, let's listen to your demo tapes or I guess we don't even have tapes anymore. What do we have? Yeah, digital. You know, here's, here's me, here's what I can do. No, here's a guitar, figure it out. Let's go sing let's do it. Oh my gosh, and so I did tell you that. I thought, you know, Emily our friend mutual friend told me that you sing, and I thought, okay, well I'll just I'll just google her and see what I can find, and I landed on YouTube and listened to one of your songs “Nobody Like Jesus,” is that the name of it?
Maria
Yeah.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, your voice is so beautiful truly. What a gift. Okay, so what are you doing now with your music? And is it all original or?
Maria
Yes, thanks for asking that. Yeah, I am. Um now pursuing this whole time this summer I recently got signed to a new label again. All praise to Jesus because I mean, I'm way out here in Maui and this label like in Nashville and Missouri. And I mean I started in 2019 releasing original music and that is why I have so many gods stories, but to just try to condense it. God opened the door just literally as someone walking to our community and to our church and um, hearing about me and you know, it was like, hey, like it was just a connection in which, which you realize in so many ways it's these God connections that he works and that he does, and it can't be forced, it can't be manufactured. It's just when he does it, it's his best, it's the best for us. And so, um, it was just years leading up to 2019 of just knowing this was on my heart that I didn't know how to do this; literally out here there's not a lot of like to go there, all those things. Like it's just very simple life out here. I mean, gorgeous, but it's, you know, it's minimal in some ways. And um, so this kind of pursuit was daunting, but just every step of the way God provided the stone to step on and just to, to lead into the next thing. And so, um, yeah, here we are now, today, having released another single and um, it's just exciting to see and know that like, can you just trust God with your dreams and even just the callings that you believe he's placed on your life, like he will create the way for it. And um, this summer Yeah, this this this label reached out and was just like, we believe in you, we’re here, we want you to join us. And it's um it's just beyond what I could ever imagine. Then just feel it's got allowing and bringing tools and people to be just that much more of a help and um, just a catalyst to what God is wanting to do. Because it's really not about me, it’s through me, but it's unto the purpose of, like, heart and hope that people are encouraged and edified and just truth through song.
Rechelle
And what's the name of the new single?
Maria
Yes. The new single is called “Only You” and you can Spotify, you can find it on iTunes, you can find it really anywhere you stream music.
Rechelle
And that's original. This is all original.
Maria
Yes, yes. All these songs I've written.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh.
Maria
Um it's just something I'm also still growing in, but like, have just found such a love and uh, just respect for, for those that are, like, really good songwriters. It is a wild journey, just discovering how to write, how to express yourself.
Rechelle
So, you're doing the lyrics? The music?
Maria
I mean, obviously, producers come and help do that. But the vision, there's just me and a little guitar or the voice memo, that's what I have. And then there's amazing people that come alongside and help burst that into an amazing, you know, ending? So yeah.
Rechelle
Okay, so you're doing it a single out of time, or are these coming off of an album?
Maria
*Yeah, so, my first release was an ep, Sony PS like mint. Um It means exclusive previews. That's small.
Rechelle
Is that what it means? I thought it an extended play. Didn't used to meet extended play.
Maria
I'm not sure. I, you know, I could very well be wrong.
00:27:15
Rechelle
No, no, no, no. You would know you're okay. So, what's the P stand for again?
Maria
I thought it was exclusive preview, but exclusive preview.
Rechelle
Okay, let's go with that exclusive preview.
Maria
Okay, great shoots. I could be wrong, but you have me doubting.
Rechelle
Oh no, no. What do I know? I don't. This is not my area.
Maria
Okay, so that was just about five songs that I just released; not as long as a whole album as you'll find 10-14 songs. Um and then after that, I released uh two more singles, three more singles. I'm sorry, three more singles. And um yeah, and then this one, now it's my fourth. And yeah, single is definitely um Today, within just music and artistry people are releasing more singles at a time versus just chunks of album and tons of songs and times. And then those that are releasing big albums. Usually, they're a little bit more um further on in their career and have the money as well to do it because it's quite a big expense when you go about it doing it for an album versus a single.
00:28:25
Rechelle
Right? So, did Emily tell me that you've just gone to Nashville, or am I totally making that up?
Maria
So, you're not? That is true. What we've, wow, we've been many times that has been where kind of the journey recording and um just the community that has begun to grow through that, um, that's where it all is. And so, um, we've been hopping on a lot of planes heading over to Nashville and back and now it doesn't even seem like a long trip.
Rechelle
That's got to be a good eight-hour flight.
Maria
Yeah, it's not, if not, then you do two planes, one 6 hour, one, 3.5 hour. Yeah, you're there. And so, um, yeah, I'm actually going this coming week to uh, you know, track into just connect and just uh to say Nashville's calling is an understatement. But we're here Lord and Lord knows what's going to happen.
Rechelle
Right, so well do you have an agent at this point to kind of help you navigate these waters?
Maria
Yeah, there's a team of individuals that are part of this, this label. Um and they offer the management side and just kind of **** side of connecting or just thinking where you'd be a good fit and um, so yeah, who knows what can come of this, but I've already gotten a glimpse into what it's like when you do have now a team of people that are literally your advocates supporting you, helping you make the best decisions for your, for your music and for the outcome that you have vision for. Um, it's incredible. And so, I can only say that, yeah, Sky's the limit and God knows what direction.
Rechelle
That's right. So, do you regularly perform at church? Are you the worship pastor, so to speak?
Maria
My husband actually is the worship pastor, it was kind of a two for one deal. That's how both of us um, just even came together in our relationship and it's such a huge part of our journey and so we have led for years just within different communities and churches, um, events or whatever, it may be a lot through the YWAM community and then I'm locally here in Maui and so yeah, he's the worship pastor, but then I'm um, also one of the worship leaders and um, so, uh, it's a joy to serve in an honor to serve. And um, yeah, that's, that's really the, I call it the bread and butter of just um, what we do and what are what my passion is, you know, and just excites me. And so yeah.
Rechelle
So, do you picture at all moving to Nashville or continuing the back and forth, or is that not, Is that not a good question for now?
Maria
No, I will not shy away. Um and I'll be honest. Of course, yes, we do and it's really um something we have already seen before as a matter of just God, you know, the best time, you know, the best way. Um You've never really like made a big move before as a family. Um It was really just my husband and I that came, you know, that we're here on Maui you know, and that was it. And then so from here we've raised our boys and so it's, you know, in their young still, but it's definitely a daunting thought, but also an exciting one because I think with everything that's happened and where I am now, it's this opportunity that we see a window into of like it's time to run or you choose to just stay here and what's comfortable and what's known will work. But will it be unto what is like the fullest potential for not just me but our lives, you know.
Rechelle
Right. Right. And you have a heart, yeah, you have a heart for this and a gift for it because you can lot of people want to sing. You know, that doesn't mean they have, well, it's kind of like two things. It's one you have to either be a natural right or be trained in it and even I'm going to say even those that are trained in it or do not necessarily have that God given quality to their voice that, you know, I see a lot of theater, I listen to music. I mean there's just something that's different.
Maria
Yeah, yeah, I fully agree. Um I think even in doing this, I'm always like God, like it has to be, you threw me because anyone can hear a nice sound or a pretty sound or a beautiful voice, but for them that to actually penetrate and like move your heart or like connect to what is being said, I think that's, that's definitely a special thing that you know, you know, and if that's, if that's what you're called to do and, and even those that are incredible, it's just like unto God, like it's all meant to just serve a purpose. So, do it and if it makes you come alive, like do it, you know? But yeah.
Rechelle
That's wonderful Maria. I am so excited for you. You know, the new single dropping today, the ones that you have out, the ones that will be coming out heading to Nashville to keep the, to keep the momentum going and not knowing but being excited and then the trust that you have the trust factor of whatever you want this to be, I'm here and you take it where you want it to go.
Maria
Exactly. The thought with that that comes and I heard it just recently actually from another podcast, but to realize that um if you view your life like a tree, like um it's really God, that is the one that is that is bearing the fruit, like he will choose the fruit that has to be beared and our job is just to stay planted. Our job is just to stay close and to keep really connected to the true source, which is him and in that in that growth in the process and the things that maybe even are hard and you feel like I'm totally unfit for this, like no God is the one that will choose the fruit that has to be to bear through your life. And so, um that just takes off so much pressure and just allowed, I realized like, okay, I'm growing or I'm in this process or I'm in this season, or this is where you have me planted God, I can rest in that because the rest you have, you have figured out and you have things that are actually good.
Rechelle
Right. So. Exactly. Exactly. That's wonderful. Is there anything in a conclusion that you want to say? Any last thing that you didn't get to say that you wanted to say?
Maria
I mean, man, what a privilege it is to literally be speaking and whoever is listening to be like hearing my voice and I think if you never hear of me again or music or whatever, it may be just to be encouraged that whatever season you're in, um God has you and he wants to work in this through this um unto a great purpose and so don't lose heart and don't lose hope and that he's ultimately the one um that we are wanting, that we're needing that were looking for, you may not even know it, it's ultimately Jesus. And so, um you know, I think that's on the forefront of my mind since “Only You,” that's a lot of the song, what it is about just being, it's only God that can truly satisfy us until the day that were with him. And so, um to keep that in the center of our lives in our hearts and everything else will welcome that, and it'll be good, it'll be amazing.
Rechelle
Thank you, thank you so much for that. Really beautifully said really beautifully said, um any contact, any way you want to be contacted should people just uh google you and get your info. It's Hilman with one l I discovered one. Well, that is right, and that is a good discovery because even like the checks are micro checkbook, we'll get it wrong, we're like, it's one out. Um but I get it, Hill, it's just, it's just what it is. Um you can find me on Instagram on Facebook, just literally write my name and yeah, okay. Um or just and like you said Spotify YouTube iTunes for the new songs.
00:36:52
Maria
Yes, Yeah, I think social media really is kind of one of the most powerful ways of connecting in our day right now. And so it is, you can literally see there what I had for lunch today, you know, it's great how much you can know about someone in the quickest of moments.
Rechelle
Right. Exactly. Well thank you for this time, Maria. I've really been blessed, and I know I've got Emily, we both have Emily to thank for that.
Maria
Yes, it was an honor to be able to be with you today and just thank you for creating this platform for other speakers but absolutely.
Rechelle
And I'll get back to that word encourage. I love that word, love that word. All right. I wish you the absolute best and I cannot wait to see what unfolds for you next and I'm going to be watching. I'm team Maria. So, we will be Yeah, well I will be watching and, and you know, I don't know if I'll have pom poms but you know, imaginary pom poms or something.
Maria
Yes. Oh, likewise. Likewise, I mean, I can't wait to share this podcast with others. Not just this segment. I was like how amazing this just the title Unabashed You. Like it's just, it's just so um, I think just freeing and just gives opportunity for anyone and everyone who God is created and uniquely and just so special to share and we need that one.
Rechelle
Yes. Yes, yes. And that's the idea. That's absolutely the idea be who you are without apology. You wanted to sing, you're singing, you wanted to serve, you're serving. I mean, all those things that make you get to be you.
Maria
Yes. Yes, exactly. And as long as we stay planted, it's going to do beyond what you can imagine.
Rechelle
That's right. Right. Exactly. Well, it was wonderful to meet you, Maria. And I look forward to connecting again. Alright, take care, Thanks so much.
Outro Music
00:38:55
So, what did I learn from Maria primarily how unabashed she is about her faith. I can appreciate anyone who has strong convictions, especially as they lead her forward into places she didn't know existed very cool. For sure. Also, the importance of saying yes to the opportunities that come your way, look where they can lead, you just never know.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes in a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share. On Instagram and Facebook, you can find us under Unabashed You. If you want to connect the email is unabashedyou@gmail.com. For questions, comments etcetera and if you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout, I'd be happy to add you and your info will not be shared. We rely upon website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We are grateful for growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing: may the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he lift up his countenance on you and give you peace. Amen, go be unabashed, be you.
This is the Mahalo Maui series (mahalo means thank you). I wanted to invite a few people I connected with while there. Yes we were on vacation fo two weeks which we’ve never done before, and we feel blessed for having had the opportunity. One night we were out and the bartender Sy, shout out to him at Lehue Lounge, told us to come back the next night because there would be live music with Carlos Santana’s nephew, Brian. On his advice we did, and we were not disappointed. Oh, and that voice! Fast forward: Brian said yes to being on the show. Listen to all the wisdom this 28-year old has…
As I record this I am still swimming in the positivity and insight Brian has. And did I mention he sparkles when he smiles? He understands what it takes to keep creating, to do the work and to learn all of the aspects to be the successful musician/songwriter/producer he will be. And I say will because I have no doubt it will happen. It is happening.
You can find to Brian’s website: Brian Santana Music on YouTube: Brian Santana Music on Facebook: Brian Brian Santana Music and on Instagram: Brian Santana Music. (Direct links to all four simply by clicking.)
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Transcript
00:00:00
Rechelle
Welcome to Unabashed You -- conversations to become who you already are. Rechelle here to listen, encourage and to share another episode. The focus at UY is to be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, listen, read and be inspired.
This is the Mahalo Maui series. Mahalo means thank you. I wanted to invite a few people I connected with while there. Yes, we were on vacation for two weeks which we've never done before, and we feel blessed for having had the opportunity. One night we were out and the bartender Sai -- shout out to him at Lehue Lounge -- told us to come back the next night because there would be a live music with Carlos Santana's nephew Brian. On his advice we did, and we were not disappointed. Oh, and that voice. So, this is our conversation, me and Brian. Listen to all the wisdom this 28-year-old has.
Intro Music
Rechelle
I heard Brian play music recently when we were in Maui on a vacation. His voice is pure, tender and rich. Okay, I'm not a musician so not sure if those are musical words to describe his unique sound, but there are the words that come to mind when I think of his music. I asked him to come on the show and to my delight he said yes. Welcome Brian.
Brian
Thank you for having me.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, I was really excited when you said yes. Is there anything you want the listeners to know about you just to kind of get us started?
Brian
Uh you know, I'm all about just being your authentic self and I put that out there.
Rechelle
Yes, that is one of my favorite words -- Yes, authentic. Love it, Be yourself. Yes. All right. So, what three words would you use to describe yourself?
00:02:06
Brian
Three words to describe myself. . . uh light, love and happiness.
Rechelle
Okay, light, love and happiness. Light meaning you don't get let's see, like down
Brian
Like yeah, as in light, you know, there's a lot of like we all have like we all have our bad side and our good side, or dark side and our light side, right? And people, you know, think that, oh, because I have negative thoughts about us like that. It's the end all be all and no, you know, we all have that, and we just have to choose, we have to choose which path to go on right. And there's an old saying from, from a cartoon I used to, I still watch each other's day and the guy goes, you know, it's um, it's easy, it's easier to hate, but it's stronger to love.
Rechelle
Ooh gosh snap, snap or whatever we did whatever we do these days to say, that was very wise and profound. It is easy to hate, isn't it? And it is harder to love, but isn't that…
Brian
Stronger to love
Rechelle
Stronger to love. Okay, and then that also in my mind um there's more pay off in the things that are the strength of love or the sacrifice of love or what have you. That that might not be the easier road, but it's the better road.
Brian
Right, right. Well you know what's funny is that it's funny you mention that because like I my last encounter with like not wanting to be patient, but having to be patient or else I wasn't going to get the reward: last December I was on this project um because I'm like I'm trying to take my business to the next level of music and trying to you know make room so I can continue to record and produce and you know that all that requires money, you know that requires, you know requires taking care of your credit and requires all that stuff. So, I for the longest time had a very bad credit. A friend of mine got me into credit and how to repair it and take care of it. And I wanted to start working on that stuff and I wanted the results to be like within like 2-3 weeks or a month and no it just it doesn't it doesn't work that way. And by the end of the month and me not getting what I wanted yet, I was disappointed because I was like darnit I wanted to get the funds now so I can start working on this stuff now. And you know what? I was forced to like to wait and put in the work and it's like one of those slow journeys but like it's like, you know, we overestimate what we can accomplish in a month to a year, and we underestimate what we can achieve within like 2, 3, 4 years, you know.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, you are just full of wisdom today. I mean or any day, I mean this is the first time we've actually talking in real life. But my goodness, just all these wonderful nuggets from you. I'm just I'm loving it.
Brian
So, I've been following the work from my friend and the some of the people that teach about credit and all that stuff, and I've been putting in the work and within like six months I was already doing some… making some… a lot of good progress and I was like, wow, I was like a moment -- you need to have a better relationship with time.
Rechelle
Yeah, that's good. A better relationship with time. Oh my gosh, that is a good one. I love that. All right, So three great words to describe you. So, two truths and a lie. Have you, are you familiar with this concept?
Brian
I honestly, I've never heard of it until you brought it up.
Rechelle
Okay, so you're saying three things about yourself, two of them are true and one isn’t, and you can put the lie in wherever you want. It's just kind of a fun little ice breaker and then you know we go from there.
Brian
All right, well let's see number one, I have an uncle, a famous uncle, his name is Carlos Santana. And then the second one is I was born in Mexico. And the 3rd one is I met my artists idol Usher.
Rechelle
Oh okay. Your uncle is Carlos Santana. You were born in Mexico, and you met Usher. Okay, well I do happen to know that Carlos Santana is your uncle. So, we know that that's true, we know that that's true because Sy the bartender at ***louis lounge where you were playing, he was singing your praises and telling us we had to come back the next night, which we did on his advice, we came back the next night specifically to hear you play. So, shout out to Sy. So, I know that one's true. Okay, yes, Mexico. Okay, I'm gonna put that one aside for a second and I think you met Usher. So, I'm gonna say he weren't born in Mexico. I'm gonna say that's the lie.
Brian
Wow, look at you, you got it!
00:07:26
Rechelle
Okay, where were you born?
Brian
I was born in Los Angeles.
Rechelle
Oh okay, L. A., wonderful. Okay, now we've got to hear the story about how you met Usher.
Brian
See, well, so Usher -- I recently met him in August. And so that was like that he's the reason why I started singing, you know.
Rechelle
Are you serious?
Brian
Yeah, like, like my uncle Carlos, he's the reason why I started playing guitar and I wanted to get like super into it and I want to be, I want to become a musician when I was like 10, 11. And I started singing, I started singing like around 17. But like, all the stuff that I listened to like from Usher, I'd be like, I want to sing like that guy, like he sounds so awesome. Like everything to me that he does is like perfect. Like no one can touch his voice. So, I was like, that's what I want to be like him. And so finally, like after years of, you know, working on my own stuff and everything, I always wanted to go to a concert of his and meet him and everything, but I just never really tried to make it happen because I didn't mean financially, I didn't think I could do it yet. And so finally, last year, during the pandemic, I heard that it was going to be in Vegas, um he was gonna be in Vegas for residency at Caesars Palace. So, he was there for like 2-3 weeks and I was like, I'm going to that concert, I'm going to that concert and I'm going to meet him. Not only am I going to go see him but I'm gonna meet him. So, they had like the whole V. I. P. thing where you like, you can actually meet and greet them and all that stuff. And at the time when I said I was going to go see him in concert and meet him, I was like, I don't know how to do it because we're all just stopped, and I have no source of income right now. I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna do but I'm gonna go. And so, it's funny because like within like two months of the concert coming or three months, it in May –May or June -- I bought my ticket in June, I still didn't know how I was going to pay for it until June. June came but I did it! And so finally I was able to pay for everything. And I got myself over there. I took my mom with me…
Rechelle
Oh fun, so sweet.
Brian
She was in California. So, I picked her up and it's funny because I did like, I do like the whole experience. I got myself a sports car for the trip, got my mom in there, we drove up to Vegas…
Rechelle
Oh, fun.
Brian
I got to do the, it was like a two-hour V. I. P. Section where you got to hang out with Usher and you got, they were doing like a show, like all the things that like kind of inspired Usher to like to create the music that he's created so far. And you know, I got to like to come up to him and say, hey, you know, it's good to meet you, you know, you're, it's an honor to meet you whatever. And so that was really cool. It's one little thing that I probably, I didn't get out of that one was like, I didn't get enough time with him because I was so distracted by the show that they were putting on in the V. I. P. Section, and he was hanging out with us, but I was like just in awe of everything. But yeah, no, it was it was amazing. Honestly, I because everything that I that I that I that I imagined it would be like um like meeting him and like watching a show because like I've been so involved in his music and his performances that like, you know, I know what he does after a show. I just never been to it like face to face.
Rechelle
Right. Right.
Brian
So, it was really cool to be like put him in front of me.
Rechelle
Wow. And did you get to meet him again? Did you say in August?
Brian
No, that was in August. I got the ticket in June and the concert was in August.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh, I love that you had, you know, he inspired you tremendously, obviously great influence on you in terms of his voice and then of course your uncle with a guitar playing -- and then you just said I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I am going to do it and you, you made it happen because it was that important to you.
00:11:49
Brian
Right? Well, you know, it's funny as an um at a certain point in the journey between when I start, when I, when the moment I said I'm going to go to, when it finally happened that I said that I was that I was going to go, around May or June I was like, I want to, I want to do this. I'm not going to force it. So, I'm not so if it's not going to happen, I just, I'm not ready for it then…
Rechelle
Okay…
Brian
If it's not going to happen is because I'm not ready for it. But like God or the universe or whatever it is that people believe that I believe in God. If God wants me to do it, he's going to show me the means to do it. But I just got to continue to put my energy there, continue to put my, my, my, my, my attention towards it and he put the means in front of me. So, I'm like taking me these means that I'm going to that concert.
Rechelle
That is so great. Oh my gosh! So just quick follow up. What has meeting Usher done in terms of your music? I mean, did you come back? Just like, oh my gosh, I gotta start writing. I gotta start playing. I just like, want to do it all right now.
Brian
Yeah. Well, you know what's funny is that so um prior to like going to this concert and I want to say like, the last year, my thoughts have shifted a little bit. When I moved, uh this is I'm gonna take you back to when I moved here to Maui…
Rechelle
Okay.
Brian
Um when I moved here to Maui, I wasn't trying to stay actually, I was here for like a couple of months to give something that had nothing to do with music actually. But I did want to do some gigs out here. And I just, it dawned to me that, oh, if I'm in Maui, I can meet people that are in the right places to get me to the next level in music. And so, I did that. And then, but, and then I was like, I met someone that told me, hey, you can make a living and music over here and then you can, you know, it would be good. And I was like, no way. So, I thought about it. I was like, okay, I'm gonna try. If it doesn't work out, I'll go back to Mexico. And you know, long story short it worked out, I'm still here but in that, in the time that I've been here, I got a little comfortable just, you know, performing and just pay my bills and I was starting to focus a little more like just on the finances, just for the sake of making money and taking my financial wellbeing to another place. Um and so I was leaning back a little bit on the, on the wanting to do bigger things and like get people's attention in that way, you know. But you know, going to his concert, it kinda it revitalized that kid, you know, my kid the kid that I was 10 years ago, and I was like, I want to be a rock star, I want to be a superstar, I want to do all these things. And so, I was like, you know what, I can't let that go, I can’t really put it in the backburner like I have to try…
Rechelle
Yeah!
00:15:04
Brian
And if it doesn't work out whatever. But like at least I tried. So, my, you know, one of my biggest goals and music is to become a producer, mm you know, I want to be a producer. So, I like to me that makes me feel like a full artist. Well, you know, I'm able to sing my music, I'm able to write it and I'm able to produce it. Because like I don't know it just like it doesn't feel like I've done music before where like I wrote the lyrics but the music was not even mine, I just kind of was like looking for it and like you know you consider that collaborating but it just when I did it back then I just didn't feel like oh this is me, this is Brian this is like the kind of music that I want to be, you know making.
Rechelle
I love the idea of producing because then it's um -- you know sometimes control gets a bad name, I mean and certainly you can take control too far -- but to have creative control of your content and what you're putting together I think makes perfect sense. And is the smart, wise way to go well.
Brian
And I've noticed that like a lot of musicians, they don't know what they want to make and so when we come together it's kind of like we're juggling and we're kind of just like, oh let's see what we make and I'm like yeah no I mean it's fun to do that but like there should like there has to be for me a sense of direction.
Rechelle
You want to do more, and you want to do it intentionally.
Brian
I love intention. You know like I it's funny because there's a certain point to me that loves intensive and then after that I kind of like I like the releasing it. I like releasing it uh like not knowing what's going to happen in some way, you know? And that's where like I guess I have a hard time too because I do have I do need to have a little bit a bigger level of, you know, mastering like predicting, hey, what am I going to do for the next six months a year? What about projects for the next couple of years? Like I been pretty bad at that. And it's funny because like I relate that to this guy that I was studying a long time ago and he called, he has this thing that everybody has this thing called pace, it's P. A. S. E. And we all have the P. We all have the area of the P. A. S. E. And he says, you know, P is for practical, okay, practical people, they, you know, they do all that, they make sure that everything is written down, they know exactly what's gonna happen when it's gonna happen this time it's gonna happen. You know, they do all the numbers right? Is that the problem with people that are that are practical and they're like, they make sure they try to make sure everything is perfect before they start, is that a lot of times they don't tend to start because they want to make sure everything's perfect.
Rechelle
Right.
Brian
So, then you got E, which is emotional, you know most of the people that you know they're very they can be very passionate and everything but also like if they don't feel like doing it, they won't do it. And then you got you got the like the s was just like you know they say that um this is for more for like action people. Okay so like they just want to do do do do do do do that's where I come it because like I'm like a do do do do do, but the problem with people that are that are action oriented, we tend to be a little more um on the if something comes along, we'll drop what we're doing and we'll go try the other thing. And so, we never finished anything because you know because we're always on the awe of like oh let me go try that now instead of finishing what I did here and now then then moving on to the next one.
Rechelle
Okay so A was for action.
Brian
Yes, it's for action.
Rechelle
And what's S?
Brian
So, we've got P is practical, A is for action, S is for social, and E Is for emotional.
Rechelle
Ok S is for social.
00:19:26
Brian
So, the S would be like, so I think like the people they love to like to socialize with people they interact with people amazingly. So that gives them a really good edge of like, you know, putting themselves out there, but when it comes to like doing the actual action stuff is like they're like, they don't do it, that they're more about like the interaction with the person, but they're not doing like the, you know, where that's when the time comes in and you have to like, you know, take notes and learn a skill or ability.
Rechelle
Right. So, in this model is the idea to have balance between the four?
Brian
To have balance between them to be able to, you know, take advantage if you're an action person, it doesn't mean that it doesn't mean that the other three that you have are bad if you don't have them at a good level, it just means you have to work on them and so on. And so, I've been working on the, on the practical side of me a little bit a little more and more. But so that's where like the production part of me, you know, taking my music to like knowing like what kind of album I gonna am I gonna make, you know what song or what tempo songs and I do, I want to create. And that's if you're like, if you're in the business, you know, if you want to become like a like an actual artist in the business, you know. Like my uncle Carlos, like if you read if you've read his, his last book that he, that he wrote um came out like two years ago, I think it's all about him, it's not about the band. And there, he was so obsessed with music. And he wanted to, he wanted to be like, the greatest he could be. He loved producing. Like, so he would learn the parts of each instrument with his guitar. And he just did it because he wanted to, it was in him. And but at a certain point after like, he was, he had the band and in the beginning it was like, it was like a group thing where everybody was putting, but at a certain point, you know, a lot of resistance, they, it was, I think it's like this in every kind of business they didn't like, sometimes I didn't feel like doing it. Or sometimes they were too drunk or too high or like whatever, you know? And he was, you know, he was getting frustrated because like, these guys weren't putting in the work, He's like, I want to do this, I want to make this like a thing. And so, after a while, you know, yeah, literally the band Santana became Carlos Santana and he was like, no. So, he became like a businessman in the music world. And he started looking at, okay, how am I going to, how am I going to take this next level, what musicians do I have to replace when like, all those things.
Rechelle
Right. The business side of it to keep it going.
Brian
And that's that that control that you're saying that sometimes we put a negative connotation with it, but like there's a fine line.
Rechelle
It's important. It is absolutely, you know, yeah, you're right, and there's a line. So, you've probably been inspired and learned a lot by your uncle and sort of watching the trajectory of his career and then his passion and then also the hard work he's put in this is not something that was handed to him. This is something he worked very hard for…
Brian
Well, particularly after like even after listening to him, because I don't even know about this. Um you know, to me it's just like most people think, oh, you met the right producer, you met the right engineer or whatever -- those people put you in the places to make it. And no! He was so intentional about everything that he did. You know, he put himself in the position to make it happen. So, it's like, you know, as you know, he created, you know. He created this this this journey in front of him and like, I know that like, again it could be called manipulation, but like, no, it's like he put himself in the position and knew like what was going to make it happen.
Rechelle
Right. Exactly. And that's a good thing. That's a very good thing. Okay, so let's talk about your music and where you're at. So, I listened to the song that you shared with me. Beautiful. I can't remember the name of it. Can you remind me the name of it?
Brian
“It feels So Right.”
Rechelle
“It Feels so right.” Yes. Okay. So, is that on an album?
00:23:47
Brian
So that was a single.
Rechelle
That's a single right now. Is that going to go on an album? Is that the next the project that you're going to be working on?
Brian
So, when that single came, I dropped two singles right around that time and actually, so I dropped those two singles and then I dropped an album back then.
Rechelle
Oh good. I'm gonna look that up. What year was that?
Brian
I'll send you that. It was at the end of 2019.
Rechelle
Okay, so fairly recent.
Brian
December 2019 and I released two singles. “It Feels So Right” was one of them and “Lo Siento” was another one. Yeah. And then the rest of the album was eight songs. So, the whole thing was about 10 songs. Perfect. But they're divided. Which I should of put them all together whatever. So, I have eight songs of one project and the um the album is called let me see, I suck at this history All That I Am I think um Uh huh. Yeah, it's called Live Your Life. That's what it's called.
Rechelle
Ok, I love that you weren't sure of the title, that's so perfect, Live Your Life and I love All That I Am. Those are both great titles or albums. Okay, okay. I will be looking at up like right away. And for anybody listening, is that something obviously we can get through all the normal channels? iTunes, Apple music, Spotify. Now, okay, I accidentally, we, we already went through this via Instagram -- there is another Brian Santana that does music. So, what the heck. I mean, how do we have we parse out you versus him?
Brian
I actually need to; I need to work on that. I needed because I already, I actually went to um like Spotify, and I told them um to separate myself from that person. Um but for some reason there's like two songs that they still have that are connected to my name. So, like when you look me up, like you might find one or two of the songs of this person. They haven't really released anything in a long time.
Rechelle
Okay, and you don't know this person is not a distant relative. Okay. And what was so weird was when I heard that his music, I was like, oh no, the voice just didn't sound right, but I went with it because I thought how many Brian Santana's can be in the music industry. And then when you said, oops, that's not actually me, Oh hey, on my face, I'm so sorry. And then you know the proper song and I was like, yes, that's The voice. How did I not pick that up? How did I not pick that up? That is, that is funny, but it makes for a good story. Makes for a good story. Okay, so you got to Maui for something else, but then you discovered that you can actually make a living doing music there. So, then you are, you're doing covers because that's typically, you know, in lounges, what a tourist want to hear or whatever, that’s what they think anyway. Okay, so meanwhile, then you're also working on your stuff.
Brian
Yes. So basically, um like I said, I moved, I moved here four years ago. I was, I was here to do a construction kind of thing job for an uncle of mine. Um so yeah, I got the opportunity to be out here, and everything was lining up for me to stay. So, I ended up staying and I ended up working on with that. I've been, I've been working on my original stuff since like 2014.
Rechelle
Excellent. Like hearing that. Really Dedicated.
Brian
Yeah, so like, so 2014. Um that's, that's where I was telling you about how like that first album that I did, you'll find me, you'll find me with another name actually
Rechelle
What… um…
Rechelle
This is like the young Brian younger Brian kid Brian um back then it was B J. Santana.
Rechelle
Okay, okay, because is your middle name john or James?
Brian
Jonathan.
Rechelle
Okay, got it. Okay.
Brian
All right, so back then, all I did was write lyrics and back then a friend of mine, he was like really involved in trying to become an artist himself in L. A. And he started like, you know, throw, you know, he started like putting me in the direction of like, hey you should like write lyrics to these beats. And I was hesitant because like I said, I didn’t just feel as proud of working on that because I didn't feel like 100% mine, like me. But I did it because I wanted to start. And I did a record a whole album of original stuff produced, produced by like other musicians and put it out there and that and that was that I left it there and I didn't really try to do anything else for a few years. And then when I came out here after being here for two years, a friend of mine convinced me to do another album. And so, I started working on my originals then. But now I was a little further ahead on my on my music knowledge when it comes to like producing. And so, I went, and I did I did part of the music. So, I took some samples of like drumbeats, like a drum for the kick and all that stuff and I would just put the guitar and the bass, the keys, all that I would do, and I did that and that's the album, you know, you know, Live your life.
Rechelle
Right.
Brian
And I put those, originals, together. And now today, last year, during the pandemic, I wrote like 40 songs.
Rechelle
Oh my Gosh.
Brian
Yeah, I wrote like 40 songs last year during the pandemic. And before that I want to say like I wrote like another 10.
Rechelle
Wow.
Brian
I was just like, okay, I want to do these songs, but I want to create the beat. But it's like, it's, you know, to me it's intimidating to be able to like do drums and all that stuff and so like slowly, slowly, like a snail slow, like turtle slow, like not, they cannot happen. So finally, like I start getting enough guts to like, okay, I want to do this. So, I want to do this. So finally, I started making the beats for the songs and like I actually, as we're talking right now, I'm about to finish one of the songs from that 40-list song that I have.
Rechelle
Yay!
Brian
I'm about to finish the first one and I'm super excited because like this one is literally beginning to end.
Rechelle
Oh, that is great. But you know, if you, if you like turn around and look behind you can see that you've had these wonderful stepping stones that led you to right now, which you were talking about earlier, being patient with time, and so now you're now you're really um sort of in a, in a place, experience wise to be able to do the things you want to do, which is really to do it all.
Brian
Totally. I mean, honestly, it's funny because, like, you know, I'm the example of like, you know, doing it, not working out, trying to do it again, not work it out, do it, not working out, but, you know, like, you know, again, God, the universe, whatever it is, wanted me to do music because I mean from the beginning, even when I started playing music, I've had a weakness, I've had a weakness before now, it's like way more evened out than it was back then. But I was, I was really bad at tempo, and I was really bad at timing. Um so it was really hard for me to play with other musicians.
Rechelle
You'd never know that now.
Brian
That could have ended me back then. Like, that could have been like, oh, well, since I can't do that, then, I can't be a musician, you know. Which is, it could be a, you know, you can justify that, that could really stop you from being a musician.
Rechelle
I love that you didn't, I love that. He said, well that's too bad. I'm not just going to try, but I'm going to figure it out.
Brian
I just kept on trying, you know, and I have this saying with everybody, look I'm not the most talented person in the world, I'm not the fastest person in the world like but what I have over everybody else or is that I just don't stop.
Rechelle
That's right.
Brian
I just keep on trying and trying and trying and trying. And fortunately, uh since I started, since I started performing, I was able to do it on my own. So, people accepted me like that, just playing on my own and little by little started getting better at the tempo part and being able to work with other musicians. And you know, I look back today and a lot of my recordings from when I was, when I started working, I started working in music when I was 22, I’m 28 right now.
00:33:21
Rechelle
Okay.
Brian
And I started making money back then. That was the first two years. I was in Mexico. I was playing in Mexico, was playing in Baja, I was playing in San Diego, I was playing in L. A. -- and I was like just juggling between that and I was barely getting my feet wet. And I look back today, a lot of the stuff that I did back and I'm like ‘wow, I pretty bad. I don't know how people are listening to me,’ like that's crazy that people are listening back because I'm way better now, you know, I’m way better than I was back then. And I'm like people are so nice because I was not that good and they and they wanted to hear me, they wanted to see me play uh they made me they made me feel better than I actually was.
Rechelle
But That's wonderful. Really. Because don't we all have to keep doing the thing to get better at the thing, whatever that is, and like you said, you can't wait until you're 100% ready. That's not how it works.
Brian
No. Especially people that are like me that like that we're not that they're not that fast, you know? It takes it takes it takes a lot and I'm catching up on a lot of other things and I think I'll be able to I think it will be able to accomplish you know, a lot more things in the future.
Rechelle
Right, well, I'm excited about the next album because you've got 40 plus the 10, you've got 50 songs, you've got a few albums there at least. So that will be wonderful when that comes out. OK. I want to end on kind of a fun question, which is are you watching Ted Lasso?
Brian
Goodness, I haven't seen that.
Rechelle
That's alright. That's okay. Um That's fine because my follow up question was, is there something else you're watching or binging right now?
Brian
So, I've been there's actually a show that I've binged watched um for like 10 years now, I want to say.
Rechelle
Ooh, what is it?
Brian
Like I've seen it over and over again and this is my, you know, it, you know, this is like when people are watching Friends, this is what I'm probably watching. And there's a show called Entourage. I don't know if you’ve seen it.
Rechelle
Yes, I am familiar with Jeremy Piven and I know a few of the people in it, but okay, so you re watch it, that's how much you like.
00:35:35
Brian
Yeah. You know, it's funny because like, it's a story about a guy that, you know, he wants to be a superstar. You know, he wants to be an actor and he liked, and he actually does well in his career, and he gets to enjoy all the things that an artist usually does. So, I'm like fascinated by looking and I'm like, wow. It can't be 100% realistic, but you know, but still. And so, I really enjoyed watching that show and it kind of makes me like, feel a little like connected and say okay I should try to continue to do what I'm doing.
Rechelle
Yes!
Brian
I want to experience that stuff.
Rechelle
Yes, absolutely, absolutely. And not to even begin to mention, okay, you've got the drive, you've got the passion, you've been working on the skills and getting to the point of being able to produce. I'm gonna tell the listeners you have a beautiful voice, and you know, a person can take musical training and learn how to sing. But that quality that you have in your voice is a gift. It's not something that can be trained into a voice.
Brian
Right, right.
Rechelle
Like the sound, and I didn't know what to call that. That's God given. Yes. And, and, and that makes for me that makes you unique and stand out. Like, you know, I went to a play last night. Yeah, there were a lot of – musical -- a lot of, you know, really good voices all trained exceptionally well. But there were two out of the, you know, quite a few that like just, oh my gosh, they stood out. They stood out. And that is, that's what I'm saying about you. You stand out. You stand out. I love it. Okay, well I can't wait to put this together. And um, what a pleasure it's been to speak with you. I am team Brian Santana all the way. The real Brian Santana. Not, not the, the other guy, this guy. We don't wish him any harm, but you're the real deal.
Brian
Thank you so much.
Rechelle
So just let me know how I can help and be of support. I'll get all your info out there and make sure that, yeah, people can be listening to you and I'm so glad we got to connect Brian.
Brian
Thank you so much for this time.
Rechelle
What a pleasure it's been.
Outro Music
As I record this, I'm still swimming in the positivity and inside Brian has. And did I mention he sparkles when he smiles. He understands what it takes to keep creating to do the work and to learn all of the aspects to be the successful musician, songwriter, producer, he will be, and I say will because I have no doubt it will happen. It is happening. There are direct links to Brian’s info in the episode notes. Please find him there.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes in a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share. On Instagram and Facebook, you can find us under Unabashed You. If you want to connect the email is unabashedyou@gmail.com. For questions, comments etcetera and if you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout, I'd be happy to add you and your info will not be shared. We rely upon website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We are grateful for growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing: may you delight in music, taking in all she has to offer; may it fill your heart as it touches you and move your body with knowing its steps, all while it soothes your soul. Amen. Go be unabashed, be you.
This “one-off” is a celebration of the life of our son, Christian John who passed away at three months of age. While this was a painful time for our family we traveled through our grief and came out the other side to a place where we looked for and identified the good that came from our time with him. This is a reflection, a challenge, if you will, to look for the good after the hard thing.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Transcript
00:00:00
Rechelle Conde-Nau
Welcome to Unabashed You conversations to become who you already are. Rechelle here to listen, encourage and to share another episode. The focus at UY is to be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind, without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, listen, read and be inspired.
Intro Music
We have completed our Instasummer series where each episode featured a guest I connected with on Instagram. A big thanks to Carla, Pavitra, Christine, Nicola, Shelley, Vivienne, Tanyette, Celine, Jamie, Sara, Toby, Bijou, Liz, Enitan and Adrienne -- all 15 deepened my worldview about the importance each person makes and the impact each has had on me. Thank you.
So, what's next? Well today we have a one off. It is aptly called a one off for C. J. Well, who is C.J.? C.J. Is Christian John and he is our son. He was born 24 years ago today – that's quite a milestone. However, Christian John did not get to live a very long life and in fact he died 92 days later, he had a heart defect and um that whole story is tremendously long and obviously a very difficult chapter for anybody to go through. It's not something you would wish on anybody. I wanted to you know, celebrate and give a nod to our son for his um the impact he had on our life and to say that yes, it was sad; yes, it was hard; yes, it was painful. However, I wanted to turn that around when I could when my grief was at a place of being able to look ahead to look behind and to see the good that came out of our time with Christian. So, this is a celebration of life, this is not mourning a death which I have already done.
So let me start off by saying a few things that really resonated with me at the time. One, I don't say Christian would be 24 years old today. As in somehow there was a cosmic mistake, and he didn't quite make it and I'm not going to tell you I know how that all works out because I don't. But I will tell you what works for me is to say it was 24 years ago today that he was born. That works for me. I do not begrudge those who say so and so would be this many years old if they were still here, that's great. You do you I'll do me. I respect the heck out of the way you want to do things and I hope you do the same for me. So that's one thing. It was 24 years ago.
Another thing is I had a very dear friend, tell me that you will have him to look forward to now for your whole life. And that really struck me at the time. The truth of that for those of us who believe in the hereafter for those of us who have faith or a belief system that allows the thought and the belief that we will be with loved ones again, I would have him to look forward to my whole life. So, I viewed that as a sweet, sweet truth, for me that was a truth. The other thing that was said to me at that time -- and this is another thing that varies from person to person, the kinds of things you want to hear in that time, the kinds of things you don't want to hear at that time -- I'm telling you, it varies because I've talked to different people and different people were upset by certain things that were said to them or weren't said to them and I found solace in a great many things that were said.
Another thing is that a neighbor came over, an older gentleman who uh, came over to check in on us after Christian had died, said, “Here's one thing I know: God does not make mistakes. If God wanted Christian here, he would be here now.” Maybe if that were you, you wouldn't find comfort in that… I did. I found great comfort in that. It's very difficult at that time, you're trying to make sense out of everything, and so sometimes you find yourself hanging on to those little nuggets that speak to you and that was one of the ones that spoke to me.
Alright, so, moving on… A few years after the fact, maybe more than a few, I had the opportunity to speak about my time with our son or our time with our son. Not only the sadness of it all, but more importantly the goodness that came out of it and that is really what I want to focus on today. I want to honor his memory, his legacy by letting you know all of the good that came out of it and for my faith, I believe that God works all things for good, including this time with our son.
00:05:40
Okay, so let's start at the beginning. Um one of the things I noticed was that we had some friends from high school who came, you know who found out and really rallied and were there for us in a huge way. This was a four couples total us included. They were so wonderful to us, so gracious in giving and loving and kind and thoughtful. That was a huge gift to come out of that time and I'm very grateful for that. Another thing that came out of that time was a woman I met who became a dear friend, started a prayer group after her son died a year and a half later I was able to get connected with her through a mutual friend and she started, as I said, this prayer group; we've been going 22 years every month; we pray for each other and are connected -- that was a huge gift to come out of this.
00:06:44
Another big gift was we had a neighborhood family, who we did not know very well because we were new to our neighborhood when all this happened, who left us a bereavement card that had tickets to it to a Children's play thinking “this would be nice for their family” -- we had four kids at that time between us with Christian having passed, we had the remaining four. We went and saw the play and one of our kids turned to us and said, “oh I want to do this.” Well let me tell you that shaped his life in a very large way. He's still a performer today. He's made lifelong friends through his connections during those growing up years of uh middle school through high school and beyond. It formed him in a huge way. Now could that have happened in another manner? Sure. Absolutely. But this is how it did happen, so I'm telling you. Another gift and a dear friend (I was a 5th grade classroom teacher at the time) she reached out to me, and we started seeing movies every week just faithfully every week for years and didn't even matter what movie we went to see just that time together, connecting. It was wonderful. Another huge gift.
Um we were able to adopt a girl, a baby girl, a couple years after this, after Christian passed, and we know that she was meant for our family. So that is another huge gift to come out of our time with Christian is our daughter that we adopted. Honestly, I forget I didn't actually birth her. I mean she is a part of who we are, she is a part of our family -- another big big big gift. Um we had friends who were having fertility issues and the husband had said, “You know I just don't want to adopt. I don't you know… if I can't have my own child, I don't think I want to do that.” And so, he was pretty adamant about that, they tried IVF and all. Well after we adopted Taylor. That same group of couples, we all got together every few months rotating houses, he asked, “Can I hold her?” And she was a baby at the time, and he held her, and he got to spend all this time with her bonding connecting that was not necessarily the norm. But I will tell you that after that he went to his wife and said you know what I want to adopt -- and they now have, I think she just turned 19, a 19-year-old daughter that they credit with our time with Christian.
Okay we're getting into the home stretch here with the gifts, and these are the ones I've noticed. I have no doubt there are many I have not noticed. After Christian died, we decided to get a dog for the kids and for our family. We adopted (of course because you don't have a puppy) we adopted a puppy. We got a golden retriever that we named Lacey and she was wonderful, and she really helped me with my grief. Just the unconditional love that a dog has helped me heal. It was wonderful. Years later she died of cancer. We got another golden retriever. This one was Callie. Fast forward 13 years she passed on and now we have a dog named Layla, another golden retriever. We can't seem to get off that breed.
Okay so through that organization that our son got involved with in being an actor and now a professional voice actor. I actually got involved in the company as well and worked there for 15 years which led me to meet a lot of great people use my skills of education and experience with working with kids and bringing performing arts programs to schools all over the county in which we live San Diego. That was a great huge blessing. Also, I put a book together. It was self-published meaning I took the letters I had written to Christian; I wrote the letters I had written to God I took the different letters people wrote us. I put this great narration that wove it all together and it's called Standing Tall A collection of Mourning. Actually, it’s my plan at some point to kind of revisit that, revamp it and see if it's got an audience out there. It's a beautiful book of grief because it doesn't cut corners. It's very raw and very real and yet it's hopeful, it's hopeful. Also that same gal that I saw movies with every week she started a nonprofit for wounded military veterans called “Standing Tall Together” which was a beautiful tribute to the book Standing Tall (our time with Christian) and from there I reconnected with another friend and we decided to start taking tap dancing classes together and we ended up being in a few recitals which was a real kick in the pants when you're not a kid to be a dance recital. I could probably think and share more, but I want to leave you with that. Oop, there's one more: Taylor seemed like she was going to be the last grandchild of that generation, but lo and behold my brother-in-law and sister-in-law said, you know, we think there's one more child for this family. So, they went on to have a daughter named Grace. And my sister-in-law told me that, you know, she felt with Taylor's passing, there was a hole left in the family, not Taylor’s passing Christian’s passing, that there was a hole left in the family that both Taylor filled and now our niece Grace filled as well. So, there you have it. I am actually physically looking at a tree that I created on Poster Board -- and no, I am not an artist -- that has all of these gifts that are in the branches of the tree that helped me to remember the Good. If you can look for the good, it is there, and I absolutely encourage you to do so because you cannot stay in your grief indefinitely. It's harmful, it's unhealthy. There's a time to move on, and that looks different for everyone, I'm not going to tell you that there is a tried-and-true pat formula, there is not. And it comes back to bite you at times when you least expected it: a smell, a sound, what have you. I now have absolute joy at having had that experience and I know that might sound weird, but that's how I feel. I would never have volunteered – never, but I am very grateful I had the experience and I have him to look forward to for the rest of my life. I hope as you listen to this, you will think about maybe some of the hard things that you've been through, and you will look for the good that has come out of it. The gifts that have come out of it. That is my hope for you today.
So, a shorter episode than normal. We're getting ready for our next series, the Mahalo Maui which will be four different people we connected with on our time in Maui recently. I am very grateful for your time. I am grateful you're investing in conversations and in wanting to be you to become you to become who you already are without apology. You are one of a kind, you are without equal. Let me know if I can help you, encourage you, and support you in any way. I'd be more than happy to do so. And to you, Christian john, I say “happy birthday son, I'm thinking about you, I love you and miss you, love mom.”
A big thanks to Christian’s uncle John who wrote that beautiful piece of music. We didn't even find out about it for the longest time, and I couldn't believe when I saw this song entitled CJ that it was for Christian or inspired by him, I should say. It's beautiful, it's haunting, it is deeply moving and of course very touching that john would write a song about Christian John, inspired by him. Thank you, john, for sharing your talents with us.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes in a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share. On Instagram and Facebook, you can find us under Unabashed You. If you want to connect the email is unabashedyou@gmail.com. For questions, comments etcetera and if you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout, I'd be happy to add you and your info will not be shared. We rely upon website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We are grateful for growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing: laugh until you cry, dream big, travel the world, watch a sunset, fall in love, take a risk, order dessert, shake things up, treat yourself once in a while, dance, sing out loud, give with a happy heart, be thankful, be you, amen (and credited I'm not sure the source of that but I do like it). Be unabashed y'all, be you.
Outro Music
You can find to Adrienne’s website here: Adrienne Cooley and on Instagram here: Addie Cooley. The Amazon link to her latest book: Believe Anyway.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Transcript
00:00:00
Rechelle
While Unabashed You started for women, it became clear, men are benefiting from the content, so we've decided to refresh the brand a bit. You will still see the pear with the teal background and the name Unabashed You stays the same. Instead of women talking about stuff, because that is no longer accurate, we've moved to conversations to become who you already are. On the website, it goes on to say be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, listen, read and be inspired. And today I say thanks for joining us.
Adrienne is a breath of fresh air. She exudes the kind of happiness we all want a piece of. The good news – we can actually have that, be that. Turns out it's not as hard as we sometimes make it out to be. Listen to how she became an accidental author by coming from a dark, depressing time of the soul, to learning about the science of happiness shifting and allowing happiness in.
Intro Music
Adrienne and I have recently become acquainted through Instagram. Here is what I know so far: she is an author having written three books – Happy Anyway, Love Anyway and her latest Believe Anyway. You hear a pattern here? I have not read them yet but I'm looking forward to hearing more about her passion. Adrienne is also kind, warm and inviting, that much is clear already. Welcome to the show Adrienne (and she's also known by Addie).
Adrienne
Thank you so much. It's wonderful to get to be, be here with you today and I just can't wait to get to know you better.
Rechelle
I know me too.
00:02:06
I feel the same way. And isn't that wonderful that we can carve out this time in real life in real time and have a conversation. Is there anything you want the listeners still about you to get us started?
Adrienne
So, you know, the main thing I would like people to know is that I've had a salt of all kinds of experience where you know, I went from being depressed to now my car tags this happy lady. So, I feel like God changed my name from sad and depressed and down, to now when I show up anywhere, they're like, oh the happy girl. Well, only God could do that.
Rechelle
Well, you are very radiant, effervescent, you sparkle, you've got that joy. And I, I want to hear more about that in just a minute. What three words would you use to describe yourself?
Adrienne
So, when I think of that question, I think of the word happy first of all, and then courageous because I'm just kind of too crazy to quit.
00:03:10
Uh, I'll face anything. And then the third word my kids say that I come in clutch. So that's one of the words that they used to describe me as mom's clutch (laughing).
Rechelle
(Laughing) right. You know, and I just recently became acquainted with that term meaning like being there in a pinch. Is that what that means?
Adrienne
That's right. Yes, dependable. Just you can count on right to come in, come in clutch.
Rechelle
Yes, because my cousin, who lives in Minnesota, was telling us a story and she kept using that expression. So, I was like, okay, context clues, let's see here. Oh, okay. I understand what she's saying, wow. Okay. So those are really three great words. Happy. I've already forgotten the middle one. Come in clutch and courageous. It's always that middle one. Courageous. That and that of course is a very good word. Too crazy to quit. I love that too, a really good one. Okay, two truths and lie. Say three things about yourself.
00:04:11
Let me see if I can figure out which one is not true.
Adrienne
Okay, so I love salty snacks. Uh I've been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and I went to High school with Faith Hill.
Rechelle
Ooh, Faith Hill, Eiffel Tower and salty snacks. That's such a nice variety.
Adrienne
Random.
Rechelle
No, but that see that's what's so funny about this is that you really can go really random. Okay. Uh I think now don't correct me yet, but I'm just you get to hear my thought process. Okay, I think you like salty snacks. I think you've probably been in the top of the Eiffel Tower. I mean and I think you might have gone to high school with Faith Hill. I think they're all true, but now I have to pick one. All right. I'm gonna go with Faith Hill. You did not go to High School of Faith Hill.
Adrienne
I did (laughing).
Rechelle
Oh my God (laughing).
Adrienne
This is fun (laughing). Can I tell you the one wrong, or do you want to pick between the other two?
00:05:18
Rechelle
Well, you don't like salty snacks.
Adrienne
Correct. I love sweet stuff.
Rechelle
Oh, woman after my own heart. Oh yes, the sweets got to have a little something. Okay those are really good. Okay so when you go to have a snack, you're not grabbing something salty. So, what do you grab that’s sweet that's a snack?
Adrienne
So, when I'm behaving, I grab, I grab stevia, sweetened chocolate chips and ginger tea. Crazy combination but hot ginger tea and chocolate chips. It's just so good.
Rechelle
Oh my gosh and they're sweetened with us with stevia?
Adrienne
Yes, and they're so good. I wish I could remember the brand but like whole foods are fresh market or Trader Joe’s, yeah.
Rechelle
What a good tip. A great tip. Okay so clearly, you've been at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Adrienne
Yes, we lived in India for five years and so we would go through Europe on the way and had all kinds of fun during those days on the way there and back.
00:06:29
Rechelle
Whoa whoa… Isn't there a restaurant? Did you eat in the restaurant or?
Adrienne
We did not eat in the restaurant. I think we thought about it. But yeah, we just went and then yeah, we just we would normally just have a few days you know on our way to and from Asia.
Rechelle
Wow okay, well you saw it, you were in it, that's the most important part.
Adrienne
Yes. Yeah.
Rechelle
My goodness. Okay so you did go to high school or to school with Faith Hill and where did you all grow up?
Adrienne
Star Mississippi? Yes. One of her songs is a Mississippi girl don't change her ways. I don't know if you’ve heard that country song?
Rechelle
That's great, how fun is that? It's so wonderful.
Adrienne
She was my role model, we cheered together you know and we and so yeah, I'm so proud of her. She's just she's as amazing as you would think she might be.
Rechelle
That's good to hear because that’s not always the case. Right?
Adrienne
Right, right. But she really is, she is really real and I've noticed that about you, you value just the real and the raw it seems like and she's definitely like that.
00:07:39
Rechelle
Oh, I absolutely do and it's wonderful to hear that she does as well. I think you know we all need so much more of that so much more. Yeah. All right. One of your favorite movies of all time.
Adrienne
I would have to say – that was hard because I love a good chick flick— but maybe Pretty Woman. That would be at the very top.
Rechelle
We have somebody else who has said Pretty Woman. So that's a good one. But it's kind of a modern classic. Would you see it that way?
Adrienne
Yeah, it really is.
Rechelle
Yeah, I'm gonna have to revisit that one. I haven't seen that one in quite a while. So, I will have to revisit it
Adrienne
We quote it all the time.
Rechelle
Okay. So, you quote it. It's a romantic comedy. You love that the love story aspect, the Richard Gere and Julia Roberts the whole pack. Yeah, okay.
Adrienne
Just you know somebody like her that came you know so far, and didn't you know, kind of didn't lose who she was, and I just love when she went back in that store and said, “big, big mistake,” you know, you never know, and we should always know that we don't know who we're dealing with.
00:08:53
So, we should be kind. We don't know, you know.
Rechelle
Exactly. Right. Exactly. Right. That is yeah. I really do want to revisit that that's thank you for that reminder. A woman that inspires you?
Adrienne
So, Nicole Crank would come to mind first. I don't know if you've heard of her.
Rechelle
No, I don't think I have. Tell me about her.
Adrienne
So she is, she's actually become a dear friend of mine and we have become close and but she for years I would just watch her on social media and she's actually a Christian speaker, author, pastor's wife of a church that has multiple campuses all over the country and I just, I'm a pastor's wife and author and you know, and so I just would watch her and think I am supposed to know her like she is just you know, you don't want to try to be someone else, you want to be authentically who you are, but it's great to have role models to, to kind of model after and you know, learn what's working and things like that and so just more and it's just was the craziest God thing that we got to meet and now we've actually gone on trips together.
00:10:09
Like we, I mean it's just I just pinch myself that I get to live this life that God has blessed me with. So, you know, so then I've getting a close look even in her life and just have learned so much from her. So, her latest book is called Thrive, I Will thrive. And it's like it's like the word survive is like ripped off and instead it says thrive and anybody that's been through like, especially super traumatic experiences in life, it would be, I'm launching my book and I'm talking about hers, but it's funny. So, she's just, she's great.
Rechelle
Well, we're gonna get to yours for sure and I do love that word thrive. I think it is such a great word and it's so packed with a lot of power and impact. So, I think that word is fantastic really, what it means, And I love words and I'm sure you do too, being an author silly not a silly question, of course you love words. And a piece of wisdom you keep handy?
00:11:16
What's a piece of wisdom you keep handy?
Adrienne
I think probably the greatest piece of wisdom that my mom said to me all the time and sometimes it was because she noticed me not doing this, and I and I really do keep this handy just for myself, you know, give it to people who would like to know, is – just to be a there you are person. It's so powerful, you know, to walk in a room instead of being a here I am. You know, everybody because I, I do love a good party and I love fun and I can, you know, so I have to remember though, it's not all about us, right? It's about who you're there to be with.
Rechelle
Oh, “There you are person.”
Adrienne
There you are a person. Yes, there you are person instead of here I am.
Rechelle
Yeah. Oh wow, that. And where do you suppose she got that? Her mother?
Adrienne
Maybe so.
00:12:17
And probably the necessity to uh train me in that. Because my mom went to heaven about actually almost right at five years ago. And her sister, my aunt said, you know, she lived in a world with all of us, we all have a microphone in our hands, you know, and she never wanted to be in the limelight. You know, she just she's so exemplified that just celebrating everyone around her. And so, I definitely, even though I do have a microphone in my hand a lot of time, you know, I don't want to be that way.
Rechelle
Yeah, well you don't strike me as that way at all. You strike me as somebody who is very humble and somebody who really wants to share. You don't seem to be about promotion, but sharing and for me, there's a huge distinction between the two and you know, while we're doing this in the summer series, everybody's doing all these great things and we talk about the great things they're doing, but it's not about well let me get on there and give you my talking points about this thing I do and then I'm off, it's like, no, no, no, no, let's just have a conversation and let's yeah, let's get to your passion and have it be in a real authentic way.
00:13:42
And so often it's about enhancing the other's experience and whatever it is, right?
Adrienne
Yes, yes, because one of my favorite things that I say all the time is that God created us to connect first to him and then to each other and that's what it's all about and that's what I keep hearing from you that I like so much is that it's just about that real connection. I just believe that.
Rechelle
Oh, you are speaking my language girl. I knew there was a reason we connected and now we're connections and then you know and then being able to have a conversation you know through the connection I think is so valuable and you know in the age of the thumb texting and communicating, and not that there isn't a place for that, there is, there is, but I think we have to make sure that we're not um minimizing you know, our face to face, even if it's digitally face to face.
00:14:46
Like how cool is this that you and I'm looking at you, you're looking at me, we're looking at each other, it's so great. You know, we can connect and have a conversation in real time. Which brings us to your passion and this is what you're sharing on social media, which as I mentioned in the intro, you're an author, so you love words, you love ideas, you want to share those with other people – this “Anyway Series.” First let's like I want to know how did the “Anyway” start and then how it continues because we've got Happy Anyway, Love Anyway, Believe Anyway, so walk us through some of that mental, you know, peppering with some questions as we go.
Adrienne
Okay, so I found myself I kind of alluded to this in the beginning really in a dark place, really dark. I had a great life still have a great life. I have a wonderful family. But I just, I think just became really overwhelmed with just all the business of life and being a pastor's wife and what that entails.
00:15:55
People come in and out of your life and you think your close and then they leave and go somewhere else, you know whatever. And I just kind of got to this place where I wasn't sure I could hold up to that the rest of my life. And because relationships are so important to me and uh, so I really just started getting consumed. I'll never forget. I saw this beach bag. We're near the beach. We're only like 30, minutes from the beach. Uh Gulf Shore's Pensacola Beach, that area. Uh and I saw this beach bag, somebody had, and it was this huge word – “Escape”— and my mouth just started watering almost like I need a beach with a little drink with an umbrella and it doesn't even have to be alcoholic or anything. Just get away, just escape. Right. Right. And I started just being consumed with escaping. Then it became further than that. Like I really, this is silly, but I would just think of going to Texas and changing my name. Because Texas is a big state (when we were in school if we got in trouble, we had the write lines “Texas is a big state” 100 times) and I don't know, I guess I just thought I could go get lost there and uh and then it just got kind of darker and darker and just I really began to just wish I was dead and started thinking that. I wouldn't say that it was really suicidal thoughts but just consumed with this thought that maybe the world would be better without me. Maybe you know just this hopelessness. And a leading pastor's wife in the country almost like a Christian celebrity called me on my phone. First of all, I'm thinking how did she get my number and why would she be calling me inviting me to this trip? A mission’s trip to Haiti and I just knew I had to go on that. So, when I, yes, so when I did, I was thinking I lived in India. This isn't I don't I mean I'm not gonna get anything out of this but I'm gonna go. I just felt led to go. Well after the trip is funny just in the little ordinary things like you kind of talk about. I think it's um I was on an elevator with her in Miami in a hotel when she found out that these clipboards that she and her mother had decoupaged for all of us, there were eight of us I think on that trip, and she had decoupaged and personalize them for us. . . she found out that they had all stuck together on the flight.
Rechelle
Gosh!
Adrienne
And she found out, you know what she did. Her response just changed my life. I'm just simply on the elevator with her when she finds out and she just gut laugh and said, “aren't you glad we know now that life's too short to worry about clipboards?” And I said, “aren't you glad we know that now?” Well, it was like, I tell this story is so funny, but it's so real. I got back to my hotel room just a few minutes later we've got off the elevator and it was like when I opened my door it was almost like the holy spirit was standing there going, you lie, you do not know that; you would be so mad right now if that happened to you.
00:19:17
But seriously, I just realized this woman was the real deal. She had a happiness that I was not walking in fully. And so, I had a couple of days to kind of just be alone after the trip in a hotel room and I just cried out to God, and I said, I want to be happy. And I really felt like not that I heard God's voice audibly, but just that still small voice on the inside of me said I want you to be happy. And like you said, my nickname is Addie. Kevin, my husband says I can sometimes get an attitude and I did. So, I got an attitude with God, and I said, no you don't, you don't care about my happiness. You just want me to have joy whatever that is. Well, I don't know if you've ever sassed God…
Rechelle
But you know you can handle it. He can.
Adrienne
Yes.
00:20:20
So, I did what anybody would do. I googled the word happy and when I did, I'm telling you it was amazing. I found this this definition and it's in my first book, Happy. Anyway, I have my books here with me. This is the this is Happy Anyway, but let's see it, I found this it's “enjoying showing or being marked by pleasure, satisfaction or joy.” When I read it, it was like “enjoying joy,” just popped off the screen. And so, two scriptures came to mind that “in his presence is fullness of joy,” and another one is that “God gave us all things richly to enjoy.” So, it was like I got permission from God that day in my heart to be happy. And then he gave us joy to enjoy it. And enjoying joy is a definition of happiness and I just haven't shut up since it's like I found my happy. (Laughing.) Yeah. And I just Yeah, happy. Yeah, that's how it started. So, as I began to study for this that I was just blogging, I sat that night and wrote out little topics that just were coming to me as fast as I could write. And I went back and counted, and it was 52, which that became the first, the first year of my blogs “Happy Monday blog” that I do. And I've been doing ever since then for about seven years now. So yeah, so yeah, so then I just kept studying and I ran across this this just unbelievable study called the Harvard Grant study is the most comprehensive scientific study, 75 years, $22 million dollars spent on this study to scientifically prove the secret to a happy and fulfilled life. And guess what they found it was?
Rechelle
To enjoy?
Adrienne
Love, love.
00:22:30
Love is the secret to a happy and fulfilled life. That connection that we're talking about. And so, then I knew Love Anyway had to come next. And then Yes, yeah, so that's how it works and then Believe Anyway, faith works by love. You know? And so, there's just this connection of our faith and what we're believing for, you know, there's a lot of science and I love how science and scripture support each other in the study that I've done. And uh and so yeah, so there's a lot of science, “if you can see it, you can be it,” that's the first chapter believe anyway. You see it and be it and just, you know, some people call it like, you know, the universe uh Law of attraction, you know, different things like that. So, it gets into all kinds of things I believe anyway.
Rechelle
Okay, so you started with a blog seven years ago. Had you, had you published or written anything before that time?
00:23:33
Adrienne
No, it's so funny. I still, when I hear you say that I'm an author, I just want to laugh because my husband is such a great writer. My two boys would get awards in school about, you know, with writing and here I'm the published author. That is just hilarious to me because I don't, I never really set out to be a writer. I didn't that's not something I always wanted to be or anything, But I do know, I do – this is kind of funny: I remember lying in bed at 15 years old had taken an economics class I think in high school, and they taught us in that class that the way to like, you know, the most richest ever would be to solve a problem that you know, are to create something that everybody wants. And so, I remember even in high school just dreaming like I want to solve a problem that everybody has. You know, one day Lord, if you would call me to, you know, what, what product could I invent that could just, you know, help all of humanity the most something that we all want. Well, it's funny because I had, you know, not thought of that in years and after these books came out, I started thinking this is that I mean, not that it's gonna, it hasn't like maybe rich or anything, but in my heart and my heart is so full and fulfilled because I know that it's what Zig Ziglar says, you know, “everybody just wants to be happy basically.” And yeah, so, oh, so it's been a journey. Yes. It's been a fun journey.
Rechelle
Right, okay, so, okay, the first one came out. How many years ago?
Adrienne
2016 five years maybe? Yeah, Yeah.
Rechelle
Okay. How did you get that one published? You ended up with this material and you're like, oh my gosh, I think I just wrote a book.
00:25:42
Adrienne
Yes. So, what I did because I was just like I said, I'm not, I just was like, I don't know if I want to do this. I just had it on typing paper with little notes with my pin. There were grant, there were typos and I just printed it all out actually. I did it like week by week and just kind of ran it as a small group in my church and I did it three times. Because it just kept, it became this phenomenon. I would be texted like five or 10 times a day with somebody saying, “I was in the worst traffic, but oh well happy anyway,” like “somebody just cut me off in the line at the grocery store and I would have normally cussed him out. But oh well happy anyway.” So, I just, I realized I found the poem, Mother Teresa's famous poem and it says in there. Uh, and she wrote the forward. She didn't know it, but she basically wrote the forward to my first book, but it's her poem and it says, “if you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous, be happy
anyway,” that's one of the stances. And I thought, okay, I'm in good company, I need to go with this. And so again, I, you know, I ran it for a third time in our church and the small group was just the best conversation and just more and more people kept coming and I'm like, okay, I think there's something to this.
Rechelle
So, what were your next step? So, you thought, okay, this is seems really if this is having impact, which is wonderful, you share. This stuff you researched, and you put together and your own words and thoughts – now, how did you take it from there to getting it actually published?
Adrienne
So, I actually self-published the first book. And uh, you know, because we lived in India, we have actually lots of churches who support the work there in India. And so, we have contacts with several churches. And so, we just like, you know, let them know and a lot of them have me come and speak to their women's groups.
00:27:56
And so, I just kind of did a book tour that first year and yeah, and so just went and spoke and just have the best time at, you know, “Mother's morning out” programs, all the way to big women's conferences and everything in between. And, and I love I would love to, you know, to speak at, I don't care if it's 10 people or 10,000 people, I just, you know, want to get this message in my heart out to as many as we can.
Rechelle
So that’s beautiful.
Adrienne
Yes. So then with Love Anyway, that was published. Uh and so then that's how the, you know, just from contacts and friendships and relationships, someone uh like we connected with each other, and they just recommended me to stop to a publisher and they called and wanted and were interested in it.
Rechelle
How exciting was that? Like ‘oh my goodness, I think I think I'm an author.’
00:29:00
Yeah, ‘I published my second book.’
Adrienne
It was so great. So yeah, yeah, so that was that was fun. So yeah, it's been it's just been so unexpected because I'm very much a make life happen first and not to let life happen, you know, and I just will, but this whole thing has just been like, just so God.
Rechelle
Gosh, that is absolutely incredible. And so right now you're launching, Believe Anyway, correct?
It's available now, yes?
Adrienne
So yes, you can get it on the pre it's the prerelease is available on Amazon, and they tell me That if you'll go ahead and order it before September 14 which is the day that actually releases that you know gives better chances with the algorithms and all that stuff on Amazon for it to get out to more people and things.
00:30:02
So yeah, so we're trying to get the word out as much as we can for people to go ahead and reorder their yeah preorder their book on Amazon now.
Rechelle
Yeah, that's great. Well, we'll be sure to include your website and Instagram info in our show notes and I'll put the link in there as well. I'm trying to think of. I think this episode is going to release after that date so we might just miss it but still people can still order it now. Let me ask you: do you have is the book set up to be interactive? Are there like thought provoking questions? Is there a workbook?
Adrienne
So that that is what's so unique about I don't I don't even you probably don't know this because I haven't told you, the answer is yes. there I say I say to people that you're going to get as much out of this book from what you write in it as you get from what I write in it and I know that this is just audio but there are things I wish I could show everyone but if you go onto Amazon, you can see, but there are word fines, Happy Anyway had happy face word finds, and then Love Anyway had heart shaped word finds. I mean there's a maze one chapter Believe Anyway* is, “obey now understand later.”
00:31:30
Have you ever needed to do that with God, and so there's a maze where you start the maze, right, and you don't let me understand but you get to you know, you just keep going and then you finally get to where and so yeah, so there's a maze, there's just all these, it’s fun.
Rechelle
So, it's very interactive then.
Adrienne
Very interactive. That's my favorite kind of book. There's science and there's a, it's called “the Science of believing” in this book, there's different little science segments. Each chapter is broken up into segments. There's also a hope segment where you actually take a scripture and you put it through the hope process and in Love it was the love process and Happy, it was the happy process. And so there it explains how to do that and where you just can get squeezed everything you can out of each verse and probably my favorite part of each chapter is called the baskets, the baskets. We all you know, there are seven baskets of life: personal, social, spiritual, physical, financial. Did I say career? And family.
00:32:44
So, there are seven. So, each chapter has like goals, and it helps you helps you really mine out what your goals are, what your priorities are and how to focus in and it sort of goes along with that chapter, each one of those baskets. And so, I'm looking for real life change with you know, I want, if I'm going to take time to read a book, I want some things in my life to change as a result of that book unless I'm just reading, you know, big fun but this you know, is kind of more along the self-help slash you know, spiritual growth type books. And so, there's also Germaine Copeland, I don't know if you ever read The Prayers That Avail Much books, but she was a New York times bestseller in the eighties and nineties, and we have now become friends. I'm actually about to go and spend some time with her and her prayer cabin and she wrote an excerpt and many like legend, she's a legend and she read a little excerpt in one of the chapters that's called “Our Secret Weapon,” which – spoiler alert— is prayer, but you know, and again the science behind meditation is there, you know, and uh they in here, I share about when they studied the brain during prayer and what happens and it's just so yeah, so there is fun, so you said you love the word thrive and so it's so hilarious how God is connected Nicole and I, she's actually speaking at my Happy Girl conference, which is September 24th and 25th, I'm not sure if this will air before after that. It's two years, a year before the pandemic is actually when I wrote this by line of Believe Anyway, and it's how to thrive no matter what life throws at you. So, and then life through this pandemic at us. And so, to me, it's just amazing, God is the God who sees ahead provides. And so, then this book is just coming out right at the right time when all of us, you know, just so much keeps getting thrown at us and uh where we, you know, sometimes it's I tell people this aboutHappy Love and Believe sometimes it's more about. but anyway, you know, and so yeah, so I'm excited for Nicole and I were going to do this conference together, the end of September with her book Thrive and then this.
Rechelle
Wonderful, great. That is a great idea to partner this.
Adrienne
You'll have to come see us!
Rechelle
Where? We'll talk about that, yeah. Is it in your link tree on your Instagram?
00:35:35
Adrienne
It is. It is on my website. You can yeah, you can go…just search Happy Girl Conference or Adrienne Cooley and it'll pop up as well.
Rechelle
So, what a great thing to title it. Happy Girl, I think that's fun.
Adrienne
We have it's like the best merch coming too. I'm so excited about the merge this year – Happy girl.
Rechelle
That IS so wonderful. Adrian has been such a pleasure and really, you know we both love words and it's an honor. We kind of started out this call, it as an honor. I said it really is an honor for me. I mean I love I love that word and what it actually means, it's really a sacred um it's a sacred word, I mean it's not you know, it was nice to meet you. Yes, it was nice to meet you, but it's more than that. It was a pleasure, a blessing and honor to get to connect with you. I am very excited about all of the things you're doing and want to come alongside and support you in any way I can. There's so much goodness, you want to share all this goodness.
Adrienne
Yes, and I love what you're doing, and I mean just you coming in and having different people share.
00:37:02
I've watched some of your uh some of your episodes or listen to them and it's just I mean I just love your spirit. I love it. It's just a breath of fresh air that was our directional this morning. Wonderful. The word for spirit is I think new…and it and it just means a breath of fresh air and that you seem to be.
Rechelle
I love that, as you are to me. Well thank you. And obviously this connection is going to continue. Well, I have some few things to look into. Happy Girl. Get the book. You know, I got I've got some homework here. I better get to it. Have a wonderful day, Adrienne. I look forward to more connection.
Adrienne
Well, you too, thank you so much.
Rechelle
Thank you. Take care. Bye bye.
Outro Music
Her heart is full and fulfilled. She's doing the thing she learned back in her economics class in high school –
00:38:12
Find something to help humanity the most— right where you are. And she is. Adrienne is sharing with the rest of us all that she has studied, all that she has learned – to be happy anyway, to love anyway and to believe anyway. She herself embodies the experiences that have brought her to this place. She is one Happy girl. The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes in a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share. On Instagram and Facebook, you can find us under Unabashedly You. If you want to connect the email is unabashedyou@gmail.com for questions, comments, etcetera. And if you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout, I'd be happy to add you and your info will not be shared. We rely upon website, visit social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We are grateful for growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, continue to listen, read and be inspired. And now our blessing: may the blessings of this day radiate through your smile, be helpful through your hands and shine through your heart, amen. That is from yourfates.com. Be unabashed, be you.
You can find Enitan on Instagram on itspixene.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
TRANSCRIPT
00:00:00
Rechelle
While Unabashed You started for women, it became clear men are benefiting from the content. So, we've decided to refresh the brand a bit. You will still see the pear with the teal background and the name Unabashed You stays the same. Instead of women talking about stuff because that is no longer accurate, we've moved to conversations to become who you already are on the website. It goes on to say be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way. So, listen, read and be inspired and today I say, thanks for joining us. Let's start with the confusion I created when I miscalculated the time difference between California and Nigeria. Our guest for this week's Insta-Summer series episode and Enitan showed up on time and I was nowhere to be found.
00:01:03
We finally connected through some direct-messaging and I want to express my gratitude for Enitan’s understanding and flexibility. Oh, and by the way, it was worth the wait. He's a go- getter and deeply committed to his passion of photography. And did I mention kind? Yes, he is. Very. This is a pretty cool story. Someone used the hashtag unabashed you and I saw it. I admit I was quite excited, turns out it belongs to Enitan, this week's Insta-Summer guest. Here is what I know so far. He is from Nigeria. He's an extremely talented photographer and is studying biology in university. I can't wait to find out more. Welcome to the show. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay. Say your name for us one more time because I want to really make sure we get this right. How did you say Enitan?
00:02:09
Enitan? Oh, that's so beautiful. Does that have like a French influence in it?
Enitan
I'm not really. The Nigeria was colonized by the British so that any time is the local name? Oh, it's a local name and doesn't mean story exactly, because I looked it up when you first use that hashtag I thought oh this is so interesting. Exactly.
Rechelle
Ok. Enitan. Oh gosh, it's so beautiful. What a beautiful name. Is there anything you want the listeners to know before we really jump in?
Enitan
Um Let's just proceed. Maybe as time goes on we get to get something to say.
Rechelle
Okay, that sounds, that sounds good to me. What three words would you use to describe yourself?
Enitan
Wow. Just okay. Like to describe myself. It was just like um hardworking, persistent, and not giving up. Yeah. Not giving up is the main thing there.
00:03:17
Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Rechelle
Very good. Hard work, persistent and doesn't give up, persistence and then you don't give up. Doesn't give up. Okay, I love that. I can't wait to find out more. Okay, two truths and a
lie and this is where you say three things about yourself? One of them is not true and then I get to guess.
Enitan
Um, can you give me an example of what it's like.
Rechelle
Okay, you could make it around like what you study, you could make it around jobs, you could make it around your work, you can make around the things you love to do. Like my favorite color is red. I have been to New York two times. I have 20 Children. You know, then you have to decide. Then you decide which one is not true and obviously it's the 20 Children.
Enitan
I don't have 20 Children. Well, um Okay, three. Okay. Um, um, well it is kind of a difficult task for me too.
00:04:27
Take over or let's get to execute. Um Okay, I am married. Um I've traveled out of the country three times. Um Okay, wait, wait, wait, what are the rules? Two truths on one line. Right, okay. Okay. Um I am married um above 18 then.
Rechelle
Um uh what can I see what You said, you traveled out of the country three times. You want to keep that?
Enitan
Yeah, I want to keep down.
Rechelle
Okay, so married traveled out of the country three times and you're older than 18. Those are your, those are your old.
Enitan
No, no, no, no, no. Let me drop, let me drop the travel out of the, okay, okay, okay. Married 18/18 over 18 and I'm, I'm an entrepreneur. Yeah.
Rechelle
You're an entrepreneur.
Enitan
Entrepreneur like um like um self-employed.
00:05:36
Oh entrepreneur. Okay. God, I got it. Okay. I'm sorry, I was not, I was not,
Rechelle
You have a beautiful accent. It's so gorgeous. But I just wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't grabbing that. Okay, so your above 18 entrepreneur, Okay, got it. I think you are an entrepreneur. So that was, I'm gonna tell you my process. So that one to me is true already, I think that I think you might be above 18 and I don't think you're married. So I think the lie is you're not married?
Enitan
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Only because I haven't seen any posts about you being married, so maybe I'm cheating in that way, but that's, that's a, that's, that's what I think that's cool.
Rechelle
Okay. And you are ok, you know, let's get to that in a minute. Okay. Because I, I really want to deep-dive into to what you're doing here, you know, with all the things that make up you.
00:06:40
Okay, so now this should be a little easier for you one of your favorite movies of all time, one of your favorite movies. Maybe you don't like movies, but I don't know.
Enitan
Um um I don't really see movies because I spent most of my time on youtube watching tutorial videos and learning more about photographic, but um, the movie, I was the movie, I will say it. Um there's this movie, I think last year there was 2020 Money H eist. I think, 2020 2019, 2020 is money has a seasonal movie. Okay, that has been my favorite so far.
Rechelle
Okay. And that sounds familiar to me. I can't think of who's in it, but we'll have to look that up and you liked it because it was adventure and suspenseful.
Enitan
Yeah, exactly. Okay. All right, very good.
Rechelle
Name a woman that inspires you. Is there a woman that inspires you?
Enitan
Um, I can't really say that for now.
00:07:50
I haven't really gotten any answer now.
Rechelle
Okay. Do you have a man that inspires you may be a photographer or somebody that you really look up to?
Enitan
Yeah, yeah, sure, definitely. I do.
Rechelle
Okay. And who is that? Because I think you have a mentor, right?
Enitan
He is the photographer to the president of Nigeria. Wow. Yeah. And, and he really like, opened my mind two more about photography storytelling and it was even his program I attended that actually made me use the hashtag the unabashed you because the program was actually tagged on abashed.
Rechelle Oh, nice.
Enitan
Exactly. So, when I was typing the, was called the hashtag for unabashed, which I saw on a bus. She was said to use it and oh, that's how we got to know each other.
Rechelle
I love that. I really love that. That makes me so happy.
00:08:55
All right. Is there a piece of wisdom that you keep handy or something that you, that you well, obviously you don't give up. So is there something around that or something else that you like, you know you you keep it up, you keep it ready, you keep you use it.
Enitan
Um one thing I will say I use is um musical is still like based around the issue of the hard work and persistence because I realized over time hard work learning more like not having the mindset of you know everything because which is the exhausted because if you have dimension that already know everything then you don't have to go out there. You have to leave your comfort zone, or you'll have to do is remember where you are. And that is very bad because everyday technology is improving every day. We keep learning things, keep learning new things that we don't have idea about before. So, it's not circles around self- improvement.
Rechelle
00:09:57
Self-improvement. Very good. I mean and you already talked about how you're spending time on YouTube learning more things about photography and that that brings us to the deep dive which is your passion. So, there's two things I want to talk about. One is um we'll get to photography in a minute. But I wanted to kind of start with what you're studying in university which is biology correct? Ok why are you studying biology and what do you want to do with biology?
Enitan
Um well with the way the education system is in Nigeria like actually my dream was actually to be in the military. I like to serve in the military. And yeah, and I applied The Defense Academy 3 times. I was after high school. So, I applied three times, but I wasn't selected and after then I was now like instead of staying at home doing nothing, I think I just need to apply for because now do for the meantime.
00:11:05
So that was what actually made me to select biological sciences. So the biological sciences has actually let me say opened um not really opened my mind but just give me it has given me more, more drive and let me just say it does. So, the reason for me studying biology in general is just for due to the fact that I wasn't offered admission in the Nigerian Defence Academy and I have no option of education. So, I just have to proceed to study biology.
Rechelle
Okay. Are you enjoying studying biology?
Enitan
Um well really well, yeah, to be to be to be real here and to be truthful, I won't say I enjoyed biology because that's not really my passion that my I'm just doing it to avoid staying at home and just to have knowledge on area in particular field. Well, I really can't say I enjoy studying it.
Rechelle
00:12:11
Well, I admire the fact that you are doing what you need to do to continue to educate yourself which is clearly very important to you. But meanwhile, okay, so you're studying that because that was a door that was available to you to go through. And so now your passion though, really is photography. And let me tell the listener, you have got to follow this young man immediately on instagram his photography. You're gifted. You're already gifted. You're a gifted photographer. Okay. Let's start unpacking that. When did you start getting interested in photography?
Enitan
Well, I started get uh studying photography way back as 2015 now, six years ago, six years ago. Okay. six years ago you started interested? Yeah. But then I had no access to a camera. So I only use my phone. I use my mobile phone for the photography and the editing.
00:13:15
I use my phone. But I was able to what I was able to get my professional camera, which is this one right here. I was able to get it last year. That was during the pandemic during the lockdown. Yeah, I was able to get it and ever since I got here, then I advanced to professional photography.
Rechelle
Okay. And I notice on your post. Okay, so a couple things. One did you recently change your username from pixene to its pixene.
Enitan Yeah, sure.
Rechelle
Okay. And why did that happen? Somebody else had it or what?
Enitan
Yeah. Someone else was trying to actually use the same pattern because it was before it was at underscore pixene. So, someone else was trying to use it. And most people after giving them my username, they get things mixed up and the person is also a photographer. So, I don't have to change it. It's okay. Okay.
Rechelle
Got it. Got it. Okay. That's and I will, I will include that info here for everybody.
00:14:22
I've noticed in your, in your photography. Like I've said they're beautiful. You're, you've got a great I you, it's kind of a combination of portraits and then also I would, I would think of as photojournalism because you're taking pictures of things that are happening around you or maybe you go out to seek what's happening around you and we do have a gardener here (Loud machinery in background.) So we are going to hear some buzzing. It's very fun, very fun. Okay. So, tell us about that portraits. You know, you take pictures of people versus kind of out there. What's happening?
Enitan
Yeah. Um, well my dream is actually on photojournalism. It's actually say, yeah, he's on photojournalism boats. Well, the way I have it, I started photography so I don't really have link up with like media houses and the rest.
00:15:31
So, I just mix everything up and I do this because I don't really find the portraits like interesting because you do portraits photography, you need a studio space. You need some lighting, you need some other equipment and stuff. But photojournalism, once you have the, once you have a story to tell once and events happening, you can actually go there creates like stories, compelling pictures and posts online. So, for the portraits only do the portraits for the money. Yeah, I wondered about that. Yeah, but the photojournalism since I have like no one paying me for that because I'm doing it from my own passion for it. So oftentimes when is an event and I know it is okay. This is actually up to my portfolio. I just go out there on my camera. I take pictures, creates memories and pulls them online. But if I can actually have my way my dream is actually traveling, documenting places, telling stories about them because I realized the power of the internet that's even without you having the money or the funds to travel outside the country, you can actually go online, watch videos and see pictures about places and the information about a place tells a lot about it because you can actually go online now and read about, let me say um Africa and general information that people have about Africa is like a place where most people are suffering, there's no food, there's no good water, there's disease, terrorism and the rest but there's actually truth to some extents.
00:17:17
The real story is they actually mm nice sightseeing places in Africa. They are like tourist centers. There are places to visit historical center and stuff like that. So, my dream in this documentary, photography or photojournalism is actually exploring those places, posting them online for the world community to actually see what let me say the good parts of Africa or the good part of Nigeria. So that was just my goal. And I actually wrote my last exam the day before yesterday, that was on Tuesday. So, I hope that probably from next week I should be traveling to some places and documenting. You'll be seeing everything on my stories as time goes on. Yeah.
Rechelle
Wonderful. Okay, so once you have taking pictures of a story, you're into photojournalism, where are you posting them? Do you have a website also? Are you try to sell them to news outlets or what I mean?
00:18:20
I see them on Instagram but where else are they?
Enitan
Yeah, pandemics and like I only post, I only post them on Instagram and my Facebook for now. I'll also talk some media houses and also whoever, I would be interested in buying them. So that's what I do for now and now that I'm done with school, I think I need to improve on creating a website and probably storing them there. Another folder section by section on which whichever is to either interest to. They can check room fabulous.
Rechelle
I love that idea. I can't wait to see that come to life. How much more time and university do you have?
Enitan I'm done.
Rechelle
So, you're done. Yeah, I wrote my final paper on Tuesday. That was the day before yesterday. So do they consider that you've graduated. Is that what they, is that or do you, you've graduated?
Enitan
00:19:31
Yeah. Once you're done with your final paper, then you just expect the results to come out. Then you do your clearance and congratulations.
Rechelle
Yes. That's exciting. That's so wonderful. What are the next plans? Are you going to start traveling and taking pictures?
Enitan
And that's now the plan we’re doing where our education system is. After your education. After university education you will be going for does this trouble you call National Youth Service or
Rechelle
Y ou're breaking up a little bit. I know we've got, you know, we had to really make this work. Uh, yes. Okay. So, after the, after you're done with school, does this National Youth Service that you serve with... And their aim is actually to um, involve you in the real-life situation of the working environment.
Enitan
00:20:39
It's more of like an industrial training barista, is like an advanced one. So, when you are done, you go for that that it lasts for a year. And in the process of you walk in with an organization, you get to be paid, You get repaid about I think about 17, $70. Yeah, because we paid about $70 for a month for the next 12 months. And when you are done with that, you'll be given a certificate and after that one, you are left on your own to either go and search for a job or if you have a job already good for you. And if you have a job, then brush up your skill and anyway, money.
Rechelle
All right. And is that when you will go into photography full time?
Enitan
Um, Yeah, after that, I'm planning on owning a studio and why the studios running, I'll find some trust that person to be running it for me while I pursue my photojournalism.
Rechelle
That was such a great plan. I love that. That's wonderful what you are doing some really great things.
00:21:48
You have a real love for photography. It shows and you keep learning and wanting to get better and better. I think that says a lot about you sure, your character and how you want to learn and improve and get out there and tell some stories.
Enitan Yeah.
Rechelle
Well, that's just wonderful. Do you have anything in conclusion that you'd like to say?
Enitan
Um in conclusion, I would just like to say that so many people over here, like we're here in this part of the world they saw especially the youth every Oh, this sounds good any time.
Rechelle
But you froze again. So, we got to wait for a moment. Can you hear me now?
Enitan
I can Yes, Okay.
Rechelle
You were talking about the youth?
Enitan
Yeah. Like in Nigeria, to be precise, the government doesn't really provide job opportunities.
00:22:53
Like they only leave the youth to explore their skills. Okay. What can you do? What can you do to fetch your money? So, majority of people who are done with school now, they don't really rely on the government or organization. Instead, they pick themselves up and find out this - they have worked on it and find how it can stretch them revenue and keep them going. So my advice is, let me see. My advice is just like because I believe everyone has a skill does what I believe, even everyone has the skill to just let for you to realize what your skill is, work on it. Getting necessary materials, improve and try to be the best. Because I'm actually trying to be the best photographers in Nigeria in Africa in the world. I'll also be like; I'll also be making the list.
Rechelle
I just, I love that. You know what you want to do, and you've got a plan to go forth and then also you're speaking life into anyone who listens about a skill or a gift or an interest of passion to really go for it.
Enitan 00:24:05 Exactly.
Rechelle
That's why I thank you for your patience and your flexibility and that we had a little bit of uh you know, did not calculate correctly on our time, but I I really appreciate your grace where that's involved. So, thank you.
Enitan Any time.
Rechelle
It's been such a pleasure to get to talk to you in real life. I'm so excited and I look forward to seeing all the good things you're going to do and sharing your pictures. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful evening. I owe. This has been wonderful. Really, really wonderful. Thank you.
Enitan
All right, see you later. Bye bye bye. Mhm Yeah.
Rechelle
Next I am still challenged to pronounce his name correctly and I'll keep working on it. In the meantime, I marvel at his plan to pursue photography and to show the real Africa the real Nigeria, not just the underside we hear about.
00:25:10
He wants to share the beauty to create memories and to tell stories. This is what he gets to do what he is driven to do. I can't wait. The Unabashed Y ou website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support encouragement? We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share social media Instagram and Facebook: unabashed you. If you want to connect the email is unabashedyou@gmail.com for questions, comments etc. And if you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout. I'd be happy to add you and your info will not be shared. We depend upon website visits, social media, word of mouth to share these episodes. We are grateful for growth. Knowing these conversations, help you think celebrate who you are and move you in some way so continue to listen, read and be inspired.
And now our blessing, God bless Africa guard her people, guide her leaders and give her peace.
00:26:23
And I will add. And bless Enitan’s efforts to tell her stories. Amen that is by Trevor Huddleston
You know.
Go be unabashed.
Be you.
You can find Liz on Instagram at Remember Me Accessories.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Transcript
00:00:00
Rechelle
While Unabashed You started for women, it became clear men are benefiting from the content, so we've decided to refresh the brand a bit. You will still see the pear with the teal background and the name Unabashed You stays the same. Instead of women talking about stuff, because that is no longer accurate, we've moved to conversations to become who you already are. On the website it goes on to say, “be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind without equal.” These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, listen, read and be inspired. And today I say, thanks for joining us.
Zest. This woman has it in spades. She is fun, funny and vivacious. You'll be able to hear all that and more in this conversation with Liz Fletcher. We met in an Instagram course -- honestly, I had to be schooled in social media as there was so much to figure out. Liz has gone from men's to women's fashion and now she's celebrating 25 years in the jewelry business. She has some remarkable things to say.
Intro Music
Uh huh Liz loves jewelry, and her posts are beautiful. I was delighted when we made a connection on Instagram. She's a consistent, warm, thoughtful engager. She is our guest today for insta-summer, but as she pointed out in Australia it is winter. I haven't thought of that being in the U.S. It did take us a while to schedule with a 17-hour difference. We persevered as women do and now, we get to have the long-awaited conversation. Welcome to the show, Liz.
Liz
Thank you. Thank you for having me. I think it’s my first podcast.
Rechelle
Oh, that just makes me so happy. That makes me so happy. Really does. All right. Anything you want the listeners to know before we get started?
00:02:11
Liz
Um, well my name is Lizzie Fletcher and I've been in the jewelry industry for 25 years and I just celebrated it the other day.
Rechelle
Yes. And we're going to circle back to that because I definitely wanted to talk about the big milestone. It's really wonderful. What three words would you use to describe yourself?
Liz
Yeah. Um, fun, loving, cheeky.
Rechelle
I can't even tell you how perfect those words are because your posts and everything you do are fun and loving and cheeky. So that's just perfect. You know yourself well, that's great, that comes across for sure. All right, so this is like an ice breaker: you're gonna say three things about yourself. One of them will not be true. We call it two truths and a lie. So, I have to kind of see if I can guess which one is not true. So, three things about yourself.
00:03:17
Liz
Um, I drive 55 km 55,000 km a year. Uh huh. I have been in the fashion and jewelry industry for nearly 50 years and the third one is, I love working on the computer. Uh huh.
Rechelle
Okay. You drive 55,000 km a year. You've been in the fashion and jewelry industry for 50 years and the last one is you love to work on the computer. I'm gonna guess the lie is that you love to work on the computer? Is that the lie?
Liz
Yes, definitely. I'm not a computer person. I much prefer to either speak on the phone or do writing and I do everything by hand. So, I do use my mobile phone for the Instagram. But I am not really big on computers. My partner has brought me a computer in every color trying to get I've got a white one and black one, a red one, a tablet, you name it. But my attention span only lasts for about half an hour to an hour and then I'm off because I can't even still, I’m full of energy and like to move around.
Rechelle
Oh, and I can see that. I bet you're a dancer Liz are you a dancer?
Liz
Yes, I think I've always liked dancing.
Rechelle
Yeah, I think I've seen some posts about, about dancing. Well, you know, for somebody who doesn't really love the computer, I will say you have a very strong and consistent presence on Instagram. I mean you really, especially if you're doing it from your phone, which is, let's face it, that is a small computer, I mean it just is. And you really you get a lot of great content out there. So, you're hitting a home run right there. Okay, so the other things are true. So, I'm gonna guess that the 55,000 km has to do with your business.
Liz
Yes, I do.
Rechelle
So, because you're getting out and making sure that everybody sees your stuff buys your stuff. Stores are carrying your stuff, that sort of thing.
Liz
Exactly.
Rechelle
All right. And that's and that's good because you want to be able to get your stuff out there. And your stuff is really unique, and we'll get more into that later. And then your second one, we know you've been in the jewelry business for 25 years, so you've also been in the fashion business as well, what does that look like?
Liz
Well, that's how it all started. When I was about 15, I got into working for a menswear store. They asked me would I like to work there, And I said yes, not knowing there are the days when they only paid you $2 an hour. I learned I was in my school uniform at the time. So, I made sure I dressed up and I learned a lot about menswear, naturally being young you know the guys sort of like me, but I discovered that I was good at dressing men and then later on I went into dressing women.
00:06:38
Rechelle
Isn't that something that you were just asked to do this on a whim and that you actually had a natural gift for this and here you still are in an extremely related industry because jewelry is a part of fashion. I don't even know how you have fashion without jewelry.
Liz
Exactly. It all goes together. It all goes together, anything about anything of a dormant you can put on and then, you know, you can change your whole look and you can then add something like some jewelry, or you know, different handbag or different accessories and it can make you look so much better.
Rechelle
Yes, I agree. Okay, we're going to get to more of that in a minute. One of your favorite movies of all time?
Liz
Bombshell.
Rechelle
Oh, bombshell, is that Nicole Kidman, Charlize Theron and who's the third one?
Liz
Um I can't remember, I can't remember it now, I see them, but I can't remember the name I can’t even remember who the guys about. But the reason I liked it so much is that when I was watching it, I had no idea that it was a real story. And then, and then my girlfriend halfway through the movie (because we went to the opening before everyone else saw it) and she said, “this is a real story,” and I said, “really?” I thought it was just, you know, another story. And then I actually went back and so it again with my daughter, Bianca, and then I went, it really said a lot; I mean with the Me-Too movement and all the things that men were getting away with. And somehow it resonated with me and I was very glad that they wrote a movie and made it clear, and you know you can't do that anymore.
Rechelle
Right and you having been in those especially started in the men's part of fashion. You have I have no doubt seeing this and experienced this firsthand on some level whether it was you know a huge or minor. . .
Liz
I really learned early not to mix business with pleasure. I always kept it separate. Of course, you know a few guys might like you or fancy you. But I grew up with two brothers, so I knew how to handle them, and no one got the better of me.
Rechelle
Yeah, you could hold your own. No problem, I can see that. Yes. And I bet you have imparted that to your daughter, Bianca, as well. That she's her own woman and she does not have to take any kind of business from anybody that she. . . you know.
Liz
Exactly. I've got two daughters, yes. I've got Bianca and Sophia. And I gave them lots of choices which I didn't have when I was growing up. But the good thing is that are responsible with their choices. So, they had all the freedom, but they didn't go crazy.
Rechelle
That sounds like you did a really fabulous job allowing them to learn and find their way a little more independently maybe than the average parent would do it and I think in hindsight, looking back at, you know, our kids that we raised everything, I think if I had to do it over again, I probably would have done more of that, certainly we did some of that, but I think I would have done even more of that. So that's a good one. Is that how you were raised, or you just thought, no, I want to do this very differently than the way I was raised?
Liz
Yeah, totally. I was brought up in a very religious household. My parents, my father was actually a preacher and also, he was in sales. So that's where I get my personality and um, and the drive because I saw him always on the move. And my mother also ran a business, she started doing it at 45 and she looked after elderly people. We had a beautiful massive, big house and eight bathrooms, 10 bedrooms and we looked after elderly people. It was like a very, very luxurious retirement village before you went into the, you know, the rest home, this is before that transitional time, they don't do it now, they've cut all that out. But those days they were available, and my mother started her business at 45, so she worked seven days a week. So, I really, a bit of a workaholic. My mother working and my father working, it was a go-go household.
Rechelle
Well, those are good qualities, good qualities to have, but I imagine though as you as you've gotten older as we all are getting older that you have very much incorporated play into who you are now. . .
Liz
Definitely. I was always cheeky from a little girl. I always got told I talk too much all my life, but it still didn't stop me. When I stop talking that's when everyone would worry because they think what's the matter with Liz she's not talking.
Rechelle
That's so funny. That's so funny. So, speaking of inspiration, because it sounds like both your parents inspired you, can you name a woman that inspires you?
Liz
My best girlfriend, her name was Deborah, I met her when I was 19 and I worked in this most beautiful upmarket boutique that you could ever imagine called Halsey Marivel in Melbourne in Collins Street, which is the street, and before that I was doing modeling and then I was sort of you know how actors do waitressing jobs. So, I was doing modeling and then I thought oh just you know pop back into retail, because I've been doing retail off and on, and before you even work there you have to get two hours a free trial -- they didn't you know they didn't pay you -- to see if you were good enough. And luckily Deb, she was my manager. Um she saw the potential in me, and I was also lucky on that day because a lady came up and said I'll just take this and handed me this cardigan, that was worth about $300 -- and this is in the late 70s -- she said I'll take that and that really helped my sales. You know, I got the job through her and Debbie seeing the potential in me and then you know, eventually we became best friends and I used to look forward to seeing what she would wear every day and make up and her hair. I was just in love with her and eventually we became friends, and you know, we were together on and off for a long time. I mean she sadly passed away when she turned 60. I'm also friends with her daughter, just like a mother.
Rechelle
Oh, that's wonderful, A piece of her and that way lives on. That's beautiful. Really beautiful. I'm really glad you got to have that friendship with her for those many years. And of course, you remember her and hold her close to your heart. Now, a piece of wisdom you keep handy. Maybe this is something that Deborah taught you or your hard-working parents. But what's something you keep handy?
Liz
Um Mine is never be afraid to ask.
Rechelle
Yes.
Liz
Every job opportunity in my life I got mainly by asking. And I say that to my daughters, they can only say no, but then they might say yes, most of the time they do and it's a bit like asking the universe to you know, if you need something or want something, you put out to the universe because I listened and then it comes true.
00:15:01
Rechelle
Yeah, it doesn't hurt to ask. You're absolutely right. That is really good piece of wisdom for I think, you know, people are afraid to put yourself out there, but you're right if the worst thing they can say is no, no, thank you. So that obviously wasn't the right direction for you anyway, so move on to another way.
Liz
That's it. It's just like, you know, with all my customers, jewelry retailers that I have to see, you know, I have to make an appointment with them first. I just don't drive out there and hope for the best and uh, you know, you talk to them, and they might be saying no, no, no and somehow, you know, you turn it around and you know that yes, I love to see you Liz. So, there you go, you have to be consistent too in the, in the asking but not pushy. I'm not pushing at all. But I know you have to have that focus and then things will become real.
Rechelle
The word finesse comes to my mind when I think of how you probably operate in the world is that you've, you've got the finesse, I mean you, you can read the room, you, you know, you have high quality products and you know that their customers are going to want what you have, they just you just you know just You know you are able to be who you are in that moment of making the appointment and then showing them and I'm sure nine times out of 10 or more you know they love what you have because it's so unique which brings us to your passion. As you said, you are celebrating 25 years of being in the jewelry business. And then on your Instagram bio you say knowing happiness never goes out of style, which I thought was really a beautiful way to talk about yourself your life and then also jewelry. And then I love that you say jewelry speaks a story because different pieces do bring up different stories for us. So how did you decide or maybe you asked, how did you, how did you make the shift from clothing -- You went from men to women's and then over to jewelry -- how did that shift happen?
Liz
Um it was all through one recommendation. I had a girlfriend who I met on the road called Lisa and she was sitting down with this jewelry designer called Monique and Monique said I'm looking for a sales rep. Do you know anyone? And my girlfriend said Liz fletcher. Overnight. I went from the fashion, and I went into fine jewelry. So, I need to sell costume jewelry. I've sold belts, beautiful shoes, clothing, knitwear, everything wholesale and retail. And then I just got sick of fashion a bit because everything started to be made in China and everyone wanted lower quality and I don't like, you know, mass produced of anything to be honest. So, I went into the jewelry industry. So, I learned along the way, and I went to all the different states, I went to Victoria Queensland, that's where all the driving came into it. And so, you know, finally met all my made some new customers and built up my base from there. I always change and do things and it's like a week in between. It's like when I went from working full time at a fashion boutique after I came back from Crete and then got this opportunity offer to me. So, within a week I'd open my own boutique.
Rechelle
Oh, my goodness, you are a go getter.
Liz
Well, it just happens, you know, when it just comes to you and you don't even realize at the time that if you think about it too much, you can talk yourself out of it.
Rechelle
That's absolutely true. Absolutely true.
Liz
So, I opened my own boutique at 22. And then I got into the jewelry industry at 35.
Rechelle
Okay, so I want to know as somebody who doesn't really necessarily understand um you know, the jewelry industry, do you search out like particular pieces or kinds of jewelry? How do you end up with the jewelry that then you turn around and either sell to other jewelry people or directly to a client?
Liz
Um with jewelry, it's all very in house. They don't advertise because of the trash value. You know, they just can't hand over to a complete stranger all this jewelry that's worth fortune. But once I started with Monique from there, I found other supplies and I thought, oh my God, I love their jewelry. So once again, I would ask “hi, I'm looking, I'm looking for another range and I'm, I do, I go here and I go there and I have lots of clients” and, and then, you know, you all come together. So, at the moment I have about five different designers. Some are made in Melbourne. I try and keep things made here, which it's more personalized and you're supporting other people. And then I have other ranges from Germany, Italy, Greece. Um yeah, those countries.
Rechelle
Wow! Okay, so you're representing these five different lines and I love the focus on local being one of them. That's a great way to give back. Does that mean then that you have to travel the world? Like to those places?
Liz
No. Any traveling I do I’m seeing my customers. It's like, it's like you having a beautiful jewelry range that you created, you love, but you don't have any customers where I have all the customers. So, you put them together and then I get the beautiful job of making the appointment driving to their beautiful, gorgeous jewelers stores that you know, just gorgeous to be in. And then I show them all the collections. Sometimes some want the diamonds or other times they want the pearls. You all have different customers for different ranges too.
Rechelle
Wow. That is so fascinating. And then I'm guessing this is like mid to higher end range jewelry in terms of cost. You're not, you're not doing inexpensive stuff you're doing like unique. . .
Liz
Middle to upmarket.
Rechelle
Yeah.
Liz
I want my, I want my customers to come back to me. I don't want them coming back to me saying the stones fallen out or it's broken. You know, if they sell it to a customer. I mean you get a few of those, but generally, and I only can get excited about something that I like myself.
Rechelle
Oh, I like that. That's a good barometer. Right? Deciding if you like it.
Liz
And that's it. How can you show something someone and you don't like it? It would show for me. That's a good point. Yeah. It's like with fashion, you know, if I put you in a beautiful outfit and I don't like it. I'll pull a face and get now take that off. Well, especially be honest because customers come back. I remember.
Rechelle
Yes. Okay, so you liked jewelry that speaks a story. So, do you have a favorite piece of jewelry that speaks a story for you?
Liz
Yes. I love art deco is one of my favorites and I have a beautiful art deco and diamond ring, which I designed. But the designers from Russia and -he learned with the fab a shape. So, his workmanship is extraordinary, and he does all the beautiful feel, filagree work. So, I've been with him for 21 years longer than some marriages I say. And um, we've been working together. He does most beautiful art deco inspired designs -- because he specializes in that -- and that's one of my favorite things too. Just like I also like black and white movies and anything that's got a bit of an art deco flavor.
Rechelle
Okay, so that speaks the story to you of the friendship you have, the craftsmanship he has and then also that period of time, the style that you love so much. That's the story it tells. Have you given your girls special pieces of jewelry that are, that have become a story for them?
Liz
Yes. Um, both. I’ve given them both beautiful antique heart pendants on a gold chain because I used to style antiques to one stage, which was fantastic. Um, so I've given those as gifts and along the way, I've given them jewelry because they've got different styles to me. They've got their own style and they're just really in their twenties are starting to get into it where I fell in love with it at 13 and couldn’t wear enough. And I had no influence from anyone either. My parents didn't wear jewelry, my mother never wore jewelry, didn't wear makeup, didn't do anything. I don't know where I got it from. But trust me, when I discovered it, there was no stopping me.
Rechelle
Well, you came that way because some don't you think sometimes like you've got two girls and I imagine that they are very different and that they came the way you could see in them, you know, differences and they were their own people already from the get-go.
Liz
Exactly, yes, they're totally different. But there intelligent. Um they can see through people much better than me – they’re really clever. Um and they're both, you know, in doing art too. So, I'm artistic also. So, and I also mama daughter does has done her degree in biochemical science because my partner is very scientific. So that's sort of the best of both worlds.
Rechelle
Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness, What's next for you, Liz? I mean, you're just doing so well, you love what you do that that much is evident. Are there still some things you're trying to do?
Liz
Yeah. Well, because I haven't been able to go on the road since last March when the lockdown started, this is locked down in Melbourne. So that prevents me from going on the road. So, I thought what can I do to get out there because I'm so used to seeing everyone face to face including, you know, I also do private showings sometimes with my friends. So, I decided that Instagram was the way to go, and I started doing that and then in I just started up with Carla and that's how I met you and all those gorgeous other amazing women were all on the same journey together. So, I absolutely love that. Both of you, you all are in America, but that's alright, one day we'll all meet. With my partner Stefan, we've been building a website and soon we will be launching that. So, I've been very busy every day taking photos and writing captions and I actually did my first real the other day, so I've got to start doing more of that. It's not so much, I'm not afraid of being in front of the camera, but it's just um keep thinking you look good enough on the day. Oh no, I couldn't do that now. When you see yourself you think, oh my God, I look like a wreck! Not that I really am, but you know when you're in lockdown you're in a different mode, you're not getting, getting dressed up to go anywhere, you're just sort of thinking, oh I can be really relaxed and but I have been very creative, I do love doing display merchandising because I did all that when I was in the fashion retail, and it's all coming together now.
Rechelle
That was so fantastic that you are going to launch a website and that, that came, that was a good thing that came out of Covid, and I find that as horrible as that time was, there have been a lot of really good things to come out of that. So, I'm very thankful and grateful for that and I can't wait to come back around with you when you have the website so that we can, you know uh send people there and help, help you make it a success.
Liz
Yes, I'm looking forward to that because everyone said to me for years, you know, go online, go online. But you know, I don't need to, you know, I didn't see everyone face to face, why do I want to go on a computer. Um but here we are, and everyone goes online now. So, like I say, if you can't beat them, join them.
Rechelle
That's right. But this, this has been such a treat. I'm so um I'm just so excited that you said yes that you wanted to come on the show and that we got to connect in real time and this insta-summer, of course it's winter for you, but the series has been so much greater than I thought it in my mind. It was like, oh my gosh, how is that going to be able to be talking to people I've never talked to before and yet it has been guest after guest after guest. It has blown me away with the connection that we've already established. We're just bringing it another layer, another dimension to the connection we already have, and it's been a fantastic, wonderful adventure and I'm glad I said yes to myself because I could have talked myself out of that you know like well you can't do that. You know the self-talk of doubt and all that's like no, yeah, I can -- I'm doing it.
Liz
Yeah. That's fantastic. I love it and I admire it and I've listened to so many of your podcasts and there's so inspiring and you talk to all sorts of people in different walks of life, and I just love people and I love listening to their stories. I find people fascinating and if I do meet people I remember everything about them. You know they're star sign what they wore, what they said, sometimes it freaks people out, but have incredibly good memory which really helps when you're in sales.
Rechelle
Yes!
Liz
Because everyone wants to be remembered and that's why I called it -- Remember me accessories – because we all love to be remembered. And we also love to remember what we wore or how we felt on that day, how we look. I mean it's not just a superficial thing, I'm talking about how you feel inside and within yourself because I dress and love dressing up -- I make sure I always feel comfortable. So, you can still look fantastic, but you don't have to be in pain.
Rechelle
Oh, absolutely. I'm with you on that.
Liz
I don't wear super high shoes anymore.
Rechelle
No, me neither. It's got to be comfortable or forget it. Comfortable and cute can go together. They absolutely can.
Liz
It was so funny. I was looking, I found this – because pandemic you know, there's so much time on your hands -- I found this folder in it when I had my boutique. I used to write in the for the local paper had fashioned by Liz and a little picture of me. And then I talk about fashion. And I had a little laugh because it says something about shoes are saying “now if you're going out wearing shoes, it's a good idea to have them on.” I mean silly, but it's obvious, you know when you go out you do wear shoes, but I wrote about your shoes and make sure you wear comfortable shoes way back then. I must have been into it and saying, you know, because you don't want your poor feet to feel the consequences of wearing high shoes for a long period of time.
Rechelle
Exactly, it's not worth it. It's not. And I think a lot of women have to go through that to come out the other side to say, you know what, it's not worth it. I don't care.
Liz
I gave them up when I had my children. Oh yeah, you can't run out wearing high shoes and then breaking your neck with your baby in your arms. It wouldn't go down.
Rechelle
No, that would not go down well at all. Well thank you. I am celebrating with you, congratulating in for your 25 years has been in the jewelry business and all of the wisdom and fun that you bring to your Instagram posts. And I'm so happy that we connected. I thank you for this time. And a big shout out and thank you to Stefan for helping us launch and get this conversation going. So, it's you know what? That's great. Yeah. Give him a big thank you and a hug from me and one last thank you, Liz – you, as I said in the intro, you are so kind and so generous and so very consistent with your encouraging words. I'm very grateful for that because you don't necessarily have that or get that, I don't want to say from everyone, because obviously everyone can't be that way. But you know, it's not like we were friends before and now of course, I'm expecting you to be encouraging. No, no, no, that's not it. We connected through Instagram and now we are encouraging one another in our in our different paths. And I think it's wonderful. And thank you also for being an avid listener of Unabashed You, so that, you know, women can be who they are without apology. And men, now we've got men listening to, but just be who you are, be who you are. That's it, that's it, that's it. That's it. But thank you, Liz, my dear, I'm so grateful. And we will be in touch very soon and see you on Instagram.
Liz
Fantastic Thank you. Bye.
Rechelle
Bye bye.
Outro Music
Rechelle
One of my favorite takeaways from our time together is the wisdom of never be afraid to ask. The worst thing to happen is you will get a no. And if you do dust yourself off and carry on, you will survive. You may even thrive. Just ask Liz. Almost every opportunity she has had has come from putting herself out there and I love that she has taught that same life principle to her daughters. Like Liz, let's not be afraid of No.
The unabashedly website has a guest page of photos, quotes, a blog with embedded audio; at unabashyou.com you can find the show and other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement. We invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review and share. Still waiting on west Virginia and Rhode Island to discover us. Our social media accounts are Instagram and Facebook Unabashed You. If you want to connect the email is unabashedyou@gmail.com for questions, comments, etcetera. If you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout, I'd be happy to add you and we will not share your information. We build upon website visits, social media, word of mouth to share these episodes. We are grateful for growth knowing these episodes and conversations help you think, celebrate who you are and move you in some way. So, continue to listen, read and be inspired. Our blessing: harness the power of today, cease the blessings of today, make something happen, enhance your life, make someone laugh, help a friend, love, love, love -- that is by Steve Maraboli and amen to that. So go on, go love, be unabashed, be you.
As Bijou shared, you can learn more about how to help women and children in Congo on the website Moseka Action Project.
You can find Bijou on Instagram at Viuongo Seasoning and Moseka Action Project.
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has a page for each guest of photos, quotes and a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement? We invite you to follow, rate, review and share.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We build upon on website visits, social media and word of mouth to share these episodes. We appreciate growth knowing these conversations help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Transcript
Rechelle
While Unabashed You started for women, it became clear men are benefiting from the content. So, we've decided to refresh the brand a bit. You will still see the pair with the teal background and the name Unabashed You stays the same. Instead of women talking about stuff -- because that is no longer accurate -- we've moved to conversations to become who you already are. On the website it goes on to say be who you are without apology as you are one of a kind without equal. These conversations will help you think, celebrate who you are, and move you in some way. So, listen, read, and be inspired. And today I say thanks for joining us. Bijou -- boy do I love saying her name -- Bijou is our Insta summer guest this week. I'm still marveling at the woman she is humble yet accomplished, creative with intention, and generous while making it look effortless. 00:01:05 Honestly, that is just the beginning. In addition to loving her large family, she's found a way to give back to her country of origin. It is inspiring to say the least.
Intro Music
Bijou is our Instant summer guest this week. We had a challenging time scheduling our conversation together, as she's in the midst of a move and needed some time to wrap things up. I couldn't wait to have her on; why do we feel so connected to people we haven't actually met. I find it fascinating. Here are a couple of things I know about Bijou. She's a foodie. She loves to cook. And is an artist and displaying what she has created. Each post on Instagram is a thing of beauty. We will get into that in a bit. Welcome to the show, Bijou.
Bijou
Thank you, Rechelle, thank you for having me. Such an honor and pleasure for me to be here today and I really can’t wait to dig in.
Rechelle
Me too. I’ve really been looking forward to connecting because I do find it very interesting that there are certain people you just feel like a kinship with or a connection with and I can't really, you know, fully explain it. I just know that it's there.
Bijou
Yes. I personally just believe it's God because one time I was listening to the podcast and my husband came in, I was like who is that? And I talked to him about you. He’s like how do you know her? I'm like on Instagram and he was like really? Yes, and like you say it's some connection, you just can't explain. But I believe it's just God's way of bringing people together.
Rechelle
Yeah, that's really beautiful. Is there anything you want the listeners to know before we get started?
Bijou
Um maybe um the fact that I was born and raised in Congo. So I am originally from Congo, Born and raised in Congo. I Uh move out of my country when I was like 23 after college, I moved to France to do my master’s degree and in that time period my husband who was an American citizen. He was born and raised here. But we met in high school in Congo because his parents came back, went to Congo to work for the government over there and we, we went to the same school. So, we met in high school and after high school he came back here and after college I went to France to do my master’s degree and when he learned and I was in France, he came to see me and he was like Bijou, I want you to be with me in America. And I was like, but I'm here to do my masters. And then, yeah, so we decided to get married and that's how I moved in America and, and now we have five beautiful kids.
Rechelle
Oh my goodness. I kind of knew you had four, but I didn't realize it was five. five. That's wonderful. Well, what three words would you use to describe yourself?
Bijou
Three words to describe myself. I'll say caring. Mm hmm. Uh, creative. Thank you. Just said I can't, I'm always bubbling up in my mind and finding ideas and stuff and uh, loyal.
Rechelle
Oh gosh, those are so good. Yes, so good. Okay, are you familiar with this? It's not really a game but kind of like an ice breaker. It's two truths and a lie. You say three things about yourself and two of them are true and one isn't true. And then I have to see if I can guess which one, it's not true.
Bijou
So, this was really hard. This can be really hard for me. Uh, let me think. Um, I love working out. Um, I speak four languages. I love teaching.
Rechelle
Teaching. Okay. Um, you love working out. You speak four languages, and you love teaching. Okay, so I'm going to walk through them out loud. I think you do love teaching and I'm going to say, gosh, I bet you do speak four languages, whatever the native dialect is for Congo, which I'm talking about that a minute, plus English plus French and maybe something else. I'm gonna say if I'm going to say the lie is maybe that you don't love working out. I certainly don't love it.
Bijou
You got it right! Working out it's like a punishment for me. I love, I love cooking and, but the good thing is I as much as I cook, um, I don't necessary eat. I'm just the kind of person who like to host, and make people feel good and comfortable, but myself, I don't really eat that much.
Rechelle
Okay.
Bijou
Yes. It's many of my husband and the kids, so I don't have to work out. 00:06:44 It's just not my thing.
Rechelle
Okay. I understand that I understand. Yes. Okay. One of your favorite movies of all time?
Bijou
Okay. I don't know if you, you know about this movie, but it's called La Bamba. Have you heard about it?
Rechelle
Is that the one with Lou Diamond Phillips?
Bijou
Yes. Yes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Uh This movie, I loved it so much. I know I was young when it came out, but my dad had it and we used to watch it on the weekend and it's something that really stay deep in my heart. And when I think about it, it kind of brings up memories of so much that happened in our society. Just to think about how this young man, which he was in love with Donna and Donna's parents wouldn't let him because he was a Latino and uh socially speaking, it couldn't match you know that family because Donna was coming from a very rich family, but you just don't know what someone's tomorrow will be like.
00:08:00
Rechelle
That's right.
Bijou
Just 1 song and Richie became famous. Uh and then when you think about it, and you realize how his brother became jealous. It opens eyes to see how you can have enemies sometimes even within your own family because of a blessing. So that that story always connects me sometimes to the story of joseph, how his brother was jealous of him for all the blessings that he was getting from his father. And the story of Richie really catches me in that area, and I was like, so yeah, I will never forget that story.
Rechelle
Oh, That's a good one. I haven’t seen that in a long time. That is a really good one. I'm so glad you brought that one up and I think it sounds like it also brings up memories of when you were younger and watching it with your father.
00:09:01
Bijou
Exactly. Exactly.
Rechelle
Yeah. That’s really sweet.
Bijou
And that love story of two teenager, and I met my husband when a teenager and yeah.
Rechelle
That's so sweet. Name a woman that inspires you.
Bijou
Yeah, Rechelle, I remember one time, I don't know, you posted something on your Instagram, and it was that question, and I said my grandmother, her name was Lydia.
Rechelle
Yes. Yeah, Lydia. Yes. Yeah. Alright, why does your grandmother inspire you? Lydia.
Bijou
Uh that woman, she had such a presence, and I would say she was just the embodiment of the proverbs 31 woman: very wise um virtuous woman and the prayerful woman. Every time I spoke to her, I came out with a word of wisdom from her. So, and then you know, that's how I even decided to name my daughter after her -- Lydia. I only have one daughter; I have four boys and one girl, and I decided to name her after my grandmother because of the connection that I personally had with her. She was like my best friend and when I lost her, it was really hard for me, but God blessed me with my daughter, and I decided to name her Lydia just like her.
Rechelle
Gosh, that's so beautiful to keep that legacy going and I'm sure when you see your daughter, you’re thinking of her and that connection? That is really beautiful. Okay, so this next question. A piece of wisdom you keep handy. Maybe it's something Lydia your grandmother shared with you or not. What's a piece of wisdom you keep handy?
Bijou
She always told me, um, do everything with a good heart and expect nothing in return. And there is the scripture I think it’s Ecclesiastes 11:1 that she always mentioned. Uh, do not expect anything. Do not expect anything to give you back from whatever you do for them because you don't know where your blessing will actually come from. And you know, expectation always leads to disappointment, and I hate to disappoint myself. I don't like to disappoint myself. So, I don't expect anything and whatever right to, to uh, to do to people around me, I just do it with a good heart. And uh, and there's something that I always tell my kids, sometimes they ask me about my food. They're like, mom, what do you put in your food? They say I cook it with love. I put all my heart in everything I do. And I mean that's really, um, a piece of wisdom that's always, you know, I kept in my heart, and it really ties to my grandmother, and I just take it as a way of living.
Rechelle
Well because if we're giving something that really should be the act itself is exactly not expecting something acknowledgement or something in return. The focus should be on us giving the gift, whatever that might be.
Bijou
You know, I'm gonna tell you this one time, like you said, when we give, we give it from our heart, I saw a program of this woman she runs a nonprofit on Facebook on Instagram; so sometimes she does like a call for action and occasionally when I can give her something. And she used to acknowledge me on her stories. And one time I told her, please don't do that when I give, I'm not giving for you to acknowledge me on your page, you can acknowledge for anything else, but that's between me and my God -- it's not something I want people to know publicly that I gave to this charity. I supported your charity. It just not the way I work.
Rechelle
Well, that was really lovely of you to kindly gently let her know I'm not doing it for the acknowledgement I really want just to give out of my heart, and please don't you know, publicly acknowledge me because then people might think that that that's the focus when it's not at all.
00:13:56
Bijou
Exactly
Rechelle
All right. So here we go to the deep dive, this is your passion. Now, I know that you have two passions. I want to get to both of them. So, I started following you. I'm not a foodie like you are now I love good food don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong. You love to cook and let me tell you listener these pictures of her food should be hanging in a museum. I've never seen anything like this. So artful. So, I mean the design, sometimes the cemetery, the colors, the textures, it's all there in every picture. And one time I remember I think you put this on stories where you show that it it really takes a lot of pictures for you to pick the one. And of course, I'm thinking oh my gosh snaps a picture and here it is. 00:14:58 I'm not realizing that no, behind the scenes you take a lot of pictures you get that one that you really really like. So, you know walk us through how you got interested in cooking. Um let's start there and then I'll go ahead and say that. And I want to be gosh I want to be sure I'm saying this right viungo. Oh, so close. Yes that’s V. I. U. N. G. O. And that means spice or seasoning in Swahili. So, Swahili is the language you grew up speaking I'm guessing?
Bijou
Not really. It's I think I'll say to my second language growing up.
Rechelle
Because I know there's four languages -- I forgot to ask about that!
00:16:01
Bijou
I grew up speaking French. I grew up speaking French and in Congo when you live in the capital which is Kinshasa mainly people speak, you speak two languages there: French and Lingala, Lingala which is like a common language for everybody who lives in the capital. But then everybody will live in the capital came from another states. And in their states, they have their own languages in their province, they have their own languages. So, Swahili is the languages spoken in my province, which is the eastern Congo. So, if all the eastern Congo people speak Swahili. So, my parents spoke Swahili and that's how I learned Swahili from them. And uh, so I grew up speaking French and Lingala from the capital and now English yes.
00:17:03
Rechelle
You speak four languages. . . Oh my God wondering, Okay, because not too long ago you switch the name of your Instagram account from, I think mama's blessed kitchen or something to Viungo?
Bijou
Yeah, viungo means seasoning
Rechelle
Okay, viungo seasoning. Okay, so okay, so now tell us how you ever started, you know being interested in cooking, learning about cooking. How did that happen? Or has it always been that way since a little girl?
Bijou
That's what I wanted to say. I grew up, my, my grandmother was a great cook. My mom is I think maybe 10 times better than what I do. So, I grew up in that environment. I grew up in that environment and it kind of built my character and my taste. So you asked me a question about switching the name of my page? It was because at some point, I will be sharing when I will share my recipe on my page, I don't necessarily share my recipe, I just took pictures. But sometimes on my phone I have an app called WhatsApp. Have you ever heard about it? So, I use WhatsApp. Sometimes I share my pictures on money on WhatsApp. And I noticed that a lot of my friends will ask me for the recipe and when I give them my recipe, sometimes they are not able to reproduce exactly what I did. Or when I have guests in my house and they eat, they asked me for recipe. I'll give them the recipe, but they are not able to produce exactly what I did. And then I was like, you know what, why not doing my own spices that way. If someone asked me for a recipe, I can tell them exactly what to use to have the same taste.
00:19:13
So, I started making my own recipe and the story behind uh, the, the viungo thing, it's just um, I think you're going to talk about it maybe at some point I have the nonprofit, a nonprofit that helps women and children in Congo. And I wanted to bring up something. Um, that will help me to talk in a positive way about my country because I didn't want for my case to always hear about the negative things are happening in my country. So that's how I started making my spice. So, when I have events, I can have them taste food and talk about the taste for food in Congo. And so, they can discover the beauty of my country and discover the other side besides only learning about what's not working, what's going on. So that's how I started making those the spices and that and cut in connection with also helping my friend has made beautiful food and the recipe. So that's kind of background story. And that's how when I started making them, I decided to change the name of the page.
Rechelle
Well that is just so moving because you're taking the spices from your country from Congo and you're, you know, mixing them together and you're actually packaging and selling them now. So, people really can replicate your recipes and exactly taking some of that and you're pouring it back into your country.
And that's what I want to see to just try this name. Moseka Action Project?
Bijou
You’re right, Moseka Action Project.
Rechelle
So that's your other passion. That's your nonprofit.
Bijou
Exactly.
Rechelle
Okay. So, tell us about that.
Bijou
Well, like I said, I was born and raised in Congo. I left my country, um in 2003. And uh, and that right after I finished college, I went to the, in the eastern part of my country and there was war over there. Women were raped like every single day. About 200,000 women have been raped. And when I'm talking about rape, it's not like an action of men trying to find pleasure and no, it was like the body of women were used as a weapon. Rape was used as a weapon of war. So, I started volunteering at a hospital that my uncle leads in the eastern Congo. It's called Panzi Hospital. And my uncle worked so hard to help those women in the eastern Congo that he even got economic peace prize in 2018. Yes Dr. Denis Mukwege. So, after volunteering there and I moved to France and then I moved to America.
I always had that in my heart that I wanted to do something more to have those remain because what happened afterwards, some women found themselves pregnant and they have kids and those kids that didn't ask to be there, they didn't ask to be born, but they just, you know, finding themselves in a situation, they have no one to care for them. They can't go to school and I as a mother, I have five kids. I'm working hard to have my kids to achieve their dream and goal to be good man for the good citizen for this country. So, I just imagine how beautiful it could be for me to help those kids born out of rape to have education and at the same time help their mother to become independent to empower them through business literacy and small activities. So that's how I started Moseka.
Rechelle
Wow okay, so you're giving back to those women and the children.
00:23:26
Bijou
Exactly.
Rechelle
And is that through like clothing, shelter, microloans, health care, I mean how is there or is there a particular area that you're targeting?
Bijou
Oh God… (laughing)
Rechelle
You’re telling us four areas start again with the first area.
Bijou
So, the first one is um a Dream Come True which is focused on education. So, we provide education for the kids, we send them to school, we have them with after school program and we give them some lunch, we just want to give them the opportunity to feel like there are normal kids, they didn't do anything wrong, it's not their fault. So, you know, Rechelle, I always say that if I can even get one child from those kids to become a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher or someone in his life, I will say Lord, I have done what you asked me. Maybe Marceca was created just for that one particular person or one particular child.
So that's the way I see it. So, with the Dream Come True program, we provide education for the kids. Uh we have a family empowerment program which is focusing on empowering women. So the models of the child, we walked with them through the entire year with business literacy and at the end of the business literacy, we give them like micro loan to start a small business but they can they take the microloans it's only once when they get into the program because we are already working with the child and our goal is to have them to take ownership of their life and to move on. They can't stay in the state of feeling victimized the entire life. We want to have them, it's not like a handout but we are hand up so we have them to become to feel like you know I can participate in my community and that's what's happening because when those women start participating in the community, they found the value and space in the community.
Yes, so that's what we're doing and the third one is called club for Panzi with clothes for Panzi was a year we connect clothes here, you know I usually do it with my kids, when they have birthday. Um we talked about it the as the parents we offer them whatever they want as a gift but then we asked them to ask their friends to bring gift that we can send to the kids in the Congo. Because I came to realize that they don't really need the kids for a gift from friends. You know usually parents spent $20/$30 dollars to buy gifts for you know the kids, but they can play with just one day or two days and then the next day it’s in the trash and I realized you know, but this money can be used to help another child, why not? And I made them understand that now. They are always excited when their birthday is coming. They ask what are we doing? Sometimes we do some screen, we collect some screen for people with Albany Zoo in Congo. Sometimes we collect clothes that we send to Pansy hospital for the babies and their mothers, and my kids love to do it especially when they see the expression on the kids on the other side when they received the clothes, they feel like they have accomplished something. To me I think it's also a way to teach them compassion. They are learning how to have compassion for others. And the 4th one is our community development program where we participate in activities that are about helping people with disability. It's also faithfully and wonderfully made. We help people with disability. We help people with albinism with scholarship and any other activity that they can maybe be interested in. So those are the four things that we do.
Rechelle
Wow! You are one busy woman. You've created, you created this nonprofit, you've also got the viungo seasoning spices, spices that you sell, plus you're cooking up a storm for a family of seven. I'm trying to figure out how; I'm marveling at how all the many balls that you have in the air and, and that you are just an incredible example for your Children. And that's not why you're doing it, but you are setting this example. You're like you said a hand up not a handout. That is really just so well said. I love too how you've woven all of those things together.
Bijou
Exactly. They are all connected.
Rechelle
All connected. All, every part of your life is connected to another part. And even though you don't live in the Congo, you are really active and wanting to, you know, give back to particularly the women and the Children there and that is a very vulnerable population and clearly very much needed. Yes. Well, so you've adjusted to living in the States, you've been here a while now and um recently made a move and are the kids, they're kind of getting adjusted to their new surroundings and all?
Bijou
Yes. And I mean, it's a blessing to have five kids. I realize that now, you know with the Covid situation, you, you may have heard about kids getting depressed because they can’t see their friends and all that. And uh, it was hard, and I must say that I have realized how blessed I am during the covid situation, the pandemic, and now they're moving because honestly my kids are really friends among themselves, they played together, they spend time together. 00:30:00
And uh so they didn't really feel that lack of not seeing people around them. So, they are really adjusting. But they can't wait to go back to school. They really can't wait.
Rechelle
Well yeah, that's you know, that's a sense of normalcy for them and all of that.
Bijou
We can't wait for that.
Rechelle
Right? Yes. Yes. Okay. So, do you post seven days a week or do you do you have a set schedule?
Bijou
Uh Usually for my page I usually post maybe three times a week. But with the moving and everything things got shuffled and I've been posting maybe twice a week or once a week depending. And so, I get all my extensive because I'm in a small apartment and like I just have what is needed for this season. So, I am not getting myself, you know overwhelmed with all you know the fancy thing that I usually do.
00:31:05
Rechelle
Um Yeah, I know that you have this picture. I think they were all cheering each other with tacos.
Bijou
Yes. Yes. Yes. So cute. How do you come up with your ideas? I mean do you take pictures of what you're already going to cook, or do you know what you want to take pictures of?
Bijou
You know, I don't, you know with the pandemic situation, my husband you know and everybody working from home, it was funny because my husband usually uh we just come out of his office and ate his lunch and then like he was really having fun. And now he's really hating going back to office. He is really hating going back to office. I don't really plan in advance what I'm going to cook. It's just like I opened my fridge and I start having ideas or in the midst of cooking, I started having ideas or sometimes after cooking, like the presentation comes after cooking like I can do this.
00:32:12
Rechelle
Yes. They really are so truly very artistic. Is your art or your creativity? Is it elsewhere in your life? I mean do you paint or draw or?
Bijou
I don't paint, I don't draw. But I am really into house decor and um fashion. Okay, so those three, those three areas I'm like cooking, house décor, and fashion? And that's why even for my page, my page at the beginning, I didn't know what to do. I was like, and I don't want to confuse people, and I was like, do I do fashion? Do I do house decor? I'm like, okay, I don't want to put my house out there and then fashion, I'm like, oh no, I don't want to put my personal life, you know, so I'm like, ok, food, nobody will look at my face on the food. So that's how I decided to go for food. 00:33:15 And occasionally I can make me posted my story, my picture and uh yes.
Rechelle
That's wonderful. Is there anything I missed? I'll be sure and have all your contact. And so, do you have an Instagram account for Moseka?
Bijou
Oh yes, yeah, it's Moseka Action Project.
Rechelle
Okay. I'll be sure to have all your influence there so everybody knows how to get in touch with you. Uh, this lady is absolutely just a golden, just a golden, wonderful woman. I'm so, I feel very blessed and very privileged to have connected with you through Instagram and then now in real life. It was worth the wait. You are a giving gracious, classy, elegant, beautiful woman.
Bijou
Thank you.
00:34:19
Rechelle
I'm so grateful and I look forward to whatever other good things you're going to put out there and I really want to support your efforts now that I actually understand better what you're doing. So, I want to be sure and be supportive.
Bijou
Thank you so much. I appreciate it, Rechelle.
Rechelle
When I found out your name was Bijou, I was like, oh that is such a great name.
Bijou
You know what it means?
Rechelle
No!
Bijou
Oh, it means jewel.
Rechelle
I was debating whether to call you golden or a diamond. Yeah, you are a jewel. I love saying it -- Bijou. It's such a wonderful thing to say, great name. Well, thank you for spending this time with me. I'm looking forward to putting this together and getting it out into the world.
Bijou
Thank you so much for having me, Rechelle.
Rechelle
We'll be in touch soon. Thank you, alrighty, goodbye.
Outro Music
I found the weaving of all the things that matter most to Bijou exhilarating. 00:35:31
She's taken every part of her life and created a beautiful tapestry of serving, compassion and using her gifts for the greater good of others. Her heart for the women and Children of Congo has been put into action. Bijou knows that love does, so she loves and she does. Let's be more like that. The Unabashed You website has a guest page for each guest of photos, quotes in a blog with embedded audio at unabashedyou.com. You can find the show on other podcast platforms. Want to lend your support and encouragement -- we invite you to subscribe, follow, rate, review, and share. Still waiting on west Virginia and Rhode Island to discover us our social media accounts Instagram and Facebook Unabashed You. If you want to connect the email is unabashedyou@gmail.com For questions, comments etcetera. And if you want to be on our weekly email list highlighting that week's episode, give me a shout. I'd be happy to add you, your info will not be shared.
00:36:38
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You can find Shaun on Instagram at Shaun Conde.
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Here is Sara’s website/podcast: The Wedding Dish and her podcast with Kristina: Laughing with Gingers. On Instagram: The Wedding Dish and Laughing with Gingers.
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You can find Christine’s podcast at Podcast Coaching with Christine . She’s on Instagram at thechristineod.
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The podcast Micah has with her friend, Sharlene:
SZN Podcast
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So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🍐
Thanks for being a part of the UY conversation.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode’s audio is embedded on its own page at unabashedyou.com We are on Apple podcasts, Amazon Music, Spotify and Vurbl where we invite you to subscribe, rate and review.
Social media (direct links):
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com
We depend on website visits, social media and word of mouth. We delight in growth knowing these conversations help you ponder, celebrate what it is to be a woman, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired. 🌸
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode’s audio is embedded on its own page at unabashedyou.com - click on “episodes” to find the one you want.
In addition to the website, you can find the podcast streaming here:
Amazon Podcasts
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Vurbl
We invite you to subscribe, rate and review.
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com - we love interaction.
Social media (direct links):
We depend on website visits, social media and word of mouth. We depend on website visits, social media and word of mouth. We delight in growth knowing these conversations help you ponder, celebrate what it is to be a woman, and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode’s audio is embedded on its own page at unabashedyou.com - click on “episodes” to find the one you want.
In addition to the website, you can find the podcast streaming here:
Amazon Podcasts
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Vurbl
We invite you to subscribe, rate and review.
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com - we love interaction.
Social media (direct links):
We depend on website visits, social media and word of mouth. We delight in organic growth knowing these conversations make you think, help you ponder and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired.
If you want to learn more about Jililan’s story time check her out on Facebook: StoryTime with Ms. J.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode’s audio is embedded on its own page at unabashedyou.com - click on “episodes” to find the one you want.
In addition to the website, you can find the podcast streaming here:
Amazon Podcasts
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Vurbl
We invite you to subscribe, rate and review.
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com - we love interaction.
Social media (direct links):
We depend on website visits, social media and word of mouth. We delight in organic growth knowing these conversations make you think, help you ponder and move you in some way.
So continue to listen, read and be inspired.
The company Cassie and Elizabeth started is Our Kindred Collective. Here is a link to their website: our kindred collective and Instagram account ourkindred.co .
"we are a greeting card company, with custom stickers and floral arrangements. our goal is to help you "love your people" with sweet every-day gestures." FYI: They LOVE the usage of lower case in all writing. Also, the name Cassie is pronounced “Casey.”
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode’s audio is embedded on its own page: unabashedyou.com We are on Apple podcasts where we invite you to subscribe, rate and review. We’re also on Amazon Music.
Social media: Direct links will be in episode notes, can be found on the website, and most notably you will find us under unabashedyou at FB, IG and Twitter. We invite you to follow us on any and all of the above. There are frequent posts with great photos and inspirational quotes.
We depend on website visits, social media and word of mouth. This is how these inspirational conversations get out into the world. Through you and created for you!
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com
So continue to listen, read and be inspired.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode’s audio is embed on its own page: unabashedyou.com
We are on Apple Podcasts and Amazon Music.
Social media: Direct links will be in episode notes, can be found on the website, and most notably you will find us under unabashedyou at FB, IG and Twitter.
We invite you to follow us on any and all of the above. There are frequent posts with great photos and inspirational quotes. Feel free to subscribe, rate and review to help us be discoverable.
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com
So continue to listen, read and be inspired.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode’s audio is embed on its own page: unabashedyou.com
Social media: Direct links will be in episode notes, can be found on the website, and most notably you will find us under unabashedyou at FB, IG and Twitter.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rechellerenae/ page https://www.facebook.com/womentalkingaboutstuff
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: @RechelleRenae
We invite you to follow us on any and all of the above. There are frequent posts with great photos and inspirational quotes.
If you have questions or comments email us at: unabashedyou@gmail.com
We’re on Apple podcasts and Amazon Music. So continue to listen, read and be inspired.
Questions for each guest:
*What is your takeaway from 2020?
*How do you see 2021?
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode has its own page: unabashedyou.com Look under episodes.
Social media
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: unabashedyou @RechelleRenae
Follow us on any and all of the above. There are frequent posts with great photos and inspirational quotes. And I do love interaction!
If you have questions or comments email is:unabashedyou@gmail.com
We’re on Apple podcasts. They have a new feature under episode notes that will take you directly to that episode’s page on our website. We invite you to subscribe, rate and review to support us in being more discoverable. Also we were recently added to Amazon Music under podcasts. It’s great to get these conversations out into the world. We want to listen, read and be inspired.
Blessing for this week’s episode:
See the light
I know this road is gettin' hard
I heard you say it's overwhelming
I said I'd never be too far
And I meant that from the heart
I see the mountain gettin' higher
I see it stackin' up against you
I always said you were a fighter
But you've got your doubts tonight
But I'm here to remind you
It don't matter where you come from
I know we can get through this
It might feel it's been so long
But we keep on keepin' on
It might feel like an uphill climb
Always some kind of battle
But you got more than you on your side
And we gon' see the light
Some things will never be the same
Some things are only for a season
And just the thought of letting go
Well, it's brought you to your knees
Oh, but if you can make it, you can make it through the ni-ight
I can promise that the sun is gonna ri-ise
You wake up just a little bit stronger
So hold on just a little bit longer
'Cause it don't matter where you come from
I know we can get through this (ooh)
It might feel like it's been so long
But we keep on keepin' on
It might feel like an uphill climb
Always some kind of battle (battle)
But you got more than you on your side
And we gon' see the light
You and me, yeah, you and me
We gon' see the light
In Jesus name, Amen.
This blessing courtesy of lyrics from the song See the Light by TobyMac
Your charge:
Go shine your light.
Go be unabashed.
Be you.
We are both wishing you a merry Christmas. Have a safe one. A healthy one. May you be able to connect with loved ones even it’s virtual this year.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode has its own page: unabashedyou.com Look under episodes.
Social media
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: unabashedyou @RechelleRenae
Follow us on any and all of the above. There are frequent posts with great photos and inspirational quotes. And I do love interaction!
If you have questions or comments email is: unabashedyou@gmail.com
We’re on Apple podcasts. They have a new feature under episode notes that will take you directly to that episode’s page on our website. We invite you to subscribe, rate and review to support us in being more discoverable. Also we were recently added to Amazon Music under podcasts. It’s great to get these conversations out into the world. We want to listen, read and be inspired.
Heather recommended:as
*A White Christmas as her favorite Christmas movie with great teachable moments.
*The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (who is Brazilian as Heather thought).
Research after my potential gaffe (this depends on your view): the word “tribe” comes from the Latin word “tribus.” Its history is long from Ancient Rome, biblical texts, and in more recent times, to particular groups of people in Africa and to Native Americans. While in modern times it is sometimes used to describe a close group of friends or teams in the corporate world. After reading up on this it’s become more clear it is considered a word that some consider racially insensitive. And so I’ve been schooled. Thanks, internet. Intention is important and so is awareness.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode has its own page: unabashedyou.com Look under episodes.
Social media
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: @RechelleRenae
Follow us on any and all of the above. There are frequent posts with great photos and inspirational quotes. And I do love interaction!
If you have questions or comments email is: unabashedyou@gmail.com
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode has its own page: unabashedyou.com Look under episodes.
Social media:
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: @RechelleRenae
Follow us on any and all of the above. There are frequent posts with great photos and inspirational quotes. And I do love interaction!
If you have questions or comments you can reach through email: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
We’re here on Apple podcasts. They have a new feature under episode notes that will take you directly to that episode’s page on our website. We invite you to subscribe, rate and review to support us in being more discoverable. Also we were recently added to Amazon Music under podcasts. It’s great to get these conversations out into the world. We want to listen, read and be inspired.
Val shared these things:
The movie It’s a Wonderful Life (George and Mary Bailey being her favorite fictional couple of all time).
The John Irving book A Prayer for Owen Meany and the impact it had on her.
Be these:
ALLY a person or organization that cooperates with or helps another in a particular activity.
ADVOCATE a person who publicly supports or recommends a particular cause or policy.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode has its own page: unabashedyou.com under episodes.
On social media you can find us at:
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: @RechelleRenae
Feel free to follow us on any and all of the above. There are frequent posts with great photos and inspirational quotes.
If you have questions or comments you can reach through email: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
You can also find us on Apple podcasts. We invite you to subscribe, rate and review to support us in being more discoverable.
Yes, Bridgid’s voice is soft and low in the beginning especially. It gets better as the episode goes on. Thanks for your patience while we all learn these new things and do the best we can while recording remotely. Good news! Oscar, the Sound Designer and I are having a virtual meeting today and he’s going to teach me some things. Yay!
Bridgid recommended the book An Unfinished Marriage by Joan Anderson.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode has its own page: unabashedyou.com under episodes.
On social media you can find us at:
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: @RechelleRenae
Feel free to follow us on any and all of the above. There are daily posts with great photos and inspiration quotes.
If you have questions or comments you can reach us through email: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
And of course on Apple podcasts. We’d love for you to subscribe, rate and review. We’re reaching woman all over the world and we want to keep the conversation going.
Also, if you’d like to be a guest, let us know. We will make it happen. :)
You can also find us on Apple podcasts. We invite you to subscribe, rate and review to help us be more discoverable. Let’s go to some more states and some more countries! I want you each to feel fully yourself.
Recommendations
Books: The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr; The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer; Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Game: The Quacks of Quedlinburg
Clothes: Isha Inspired, Deborah Sorlie on Instagram
Songs: You Are I Am, by Mercy Me; No Shame by Tenth Avenue North; I’m Sorry (a Lament) by TobyMac
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode has its own page: unabashedyou.com under episodes.
On social media you can find us at:
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: @RechelleRenae
Feel free to follow us on any and all of the above. There are daily posts with great photos and inspirational quotes. If you have questions or comments you can reach through email: unabashedyou@gmail.com.
The Unabashed You website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. Each episode has it’s own page: unabashedyou.com
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: @RechelleRenae
I am grateful for “likes” on social media yet I crave interaction. So I invite you to comment, even one word. Let’s have a conversation, even a brief one. :)
Email: unabashedyou@gmail.com
You can also find us on Apple podcasts. We invite you to rate and review us there to help make us more discoverable. Let’s go to some more states and some more countries! I want you each to feel fully yourself.
To check out Mary Ann’s work:
Website: kingdom presenters
Email: maryann@kingdompresenters.com
Unabashed You:
Website has photos, quotes and a blog for each episode. unabashedyou.com
Facebook: Unabashed You
Instagram: Unabashed You
Twitter: @RechelleRenae
I am grateful for “likes” on social media yet I crave interaction. So I invite you to comment, even one word. Let’s have a conversation, even a brief one. :)
Email: unabashedyou@gmail.com
KAREN’S INFO::
Instagram: 828hopeinthedarkness
Facebook: 828 hope in the darkness
UNABASHED YOU INFO:
Website is unabashedyou.com
Email is unabashedyou@gmail.com.
Instagram: unabashed you
Facebook: Rechelle Renae Page: unabashedyou
Twitter: unabashedyou @Rechelle Renae
I love engaging in comments on social media posts!
Lastly you can find us on Apple podcasts. We invite you to rate and review us there to help make us more discoverable. Women, be inspired to find purpose in your pain.
Now, go be unabashed.
Be you.
Arlana’’s soon to be non-profit is Ruby Red Slippers. Under that umbrella she will offer Soul Care for Women on the Move in a variety of different ways.
Contact for Unabashed You is easy to remember:
Website: Unabashed You
Facebook, Instagram and Twitter: unabashedyou
Email: unabashedyou@gmail.com
Making Jesus Beautiful from Vox Podcast with Mike Erre
mikeerre
Amy’s book recommendation:
The Blue Castle by Lucy Montgomery
My book recommendation:
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
Amy’s 3 Questions for her Gratitude Journal:
1) What am I grateful for today? (Where did I find joy? What was my favorite part)?
2) How did I love someone today?
3) What was something I did today that made me grow?
Happy mining, exploring and discovering!
Ambiguous Loss
(The article Callie mentions. Link above.)
Unabashed You
(In case you listen through another means visit the website for photos, quotes and inspiring language meant to uplift you. Link above.)
Callie mentions the book Big Magic;.
website: unabashedyou.com
(Photos, quotes, mini-blog for each episode)
email: unabashedyou@gmail.com
FB: Rechelle Renae
IG: unabashed you
Twitter: still working on it!
Apple Podcasts -invitation to rate and review :)
For a deeper more impactful experience, sashay on over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a deeper more impactful experience, sashay on over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a deeper more impactful experience, sashay on over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a deeper more impactful experience, sashay on over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a deeper more impactful experience, sashay on over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a deeper more impactful experience, sashay on over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a deeper more impactful experience, sashay on over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a fuller, more meaningful experience, hop over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!
For a richer, more illuminating experience, sojourn over to unabashedyou.com for added thoughts, photos, and quotes. Get inspired to be YOU!