Play Therapy Parenting Podcast: Recent Episodes
Dr. Brenna Hicks
The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts now. The Play Therapy Parenting Podcast is hosted by Dr. Brenna Hicks, The Kid Counselor®.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose toddler struggles every time it's time to transition to the other parent's home for a custody exchange. We talk about why these transitions are so difficult for young children, how toddlers experience time differently than adults, and why resisting the handoff doesn't necessarily mean they don't love or enjoy being with the other parent. I explain how validating your child's feelings, giving them as much age-appropriate control as possible, and providing clear, predictable expectations can make these transitions feel safer and less overwhelming.
I also share practical ways to use child-centered parenting during custody exchanges without trying to distract, persuade, or "fix" your child's emotions. Whether you're navigating a court-ordered custody schedule or simply trying to make transitions between homes less stressful, this episode will help you better understand what your child is experiencing and how to support them with confidence and compassion.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose son has struggled with aggression, sadness, and emotional regulation for years. She wonders why he's so different from his peers and why therapy hasn't uncovered the "reason" behind his behavior. I explain why behavior is always communication, how aggression and withdrawal are often signs of emotional pain rather than defiance, and why our goal isn't to uncover every cause of a child's struggles, but to provide the relationship and environment where healing can naturally take place.
I also discuss the connection between self-esteem, identity, and healthy peer relationships, and why children who don't yet know who they are often have difficulty connecting with others. You'll learn how encouragement, choice giving, and unconditional acceptance at home work alongside play therapy to help children become more regulated, more confident, and ultimately a healthier version of themselves over time.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from an adoptive mom who is learning how to use child-centered parenting techniques with her daughter, who struggles with aggression, big emotions, and sensory challenges. We talk about why children often can't think clearly when they're emotionally overwhelmed, how to use empowerment choices before conflict begins, and how to create meaningful enforcement choices that teach responsibility without relying on punishment. If you've ever wondered how to put child-centered parenting into practice in everyday life, this episode is full of practical examples you can start using right away.
I also answer questions about setting limits when children hit, kick, or lash out, supporting a spouse who is learning these parenting skills at a different pace, and adapting child-centered parenting for children with developmental delays. Whether you're new to this parenting approach or trying to become more consistent, this episode will help you understand how small changes in your responses can strengthen your relationship with your child and encourage healthier emotional growth over time.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom who feels like she's constantly butting heads with her ten-year-old daughter. We talk about why the preteen years often bring a strong desire for independence, how to balance growing autonomy with healthy boundaries, and why behaviors like arguing, disrespect, and constantly saying, "You're not the boss of me," are often signs of a child trying to figure out who they are rather than simply being defiant.
I also share practical ways to strengthen your relationship during this important stage of development, including how encouragement builds confidence, why some reward systems can unintentionally discourage struggling children, and one simple weekly habit that can transform your connection with your child. If you're parenting a strong-willed preteen and wondering how to navigate the growing push for independence without constant conflict, this episode will give you both perspective and practical tools.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose five-year-old daughter seems to be caught in constant power struggles despite receiving choices throughout the day. We explore why some children continue to demand control even when parents are using child-centered strategies, and I explain the important difference between simply giving children choices and giving them meaningful choices that meet the emotional need underneath the behavior. We also discuss why anxiety often fuels a child's need for control and how aggressive behaviors can actually be a mask for much deeper feelings.
I also share practical ways to respond when children become dysregulated, make threats, or lash out during moments of frustration. You'll learn how to pair healthy limit-setting with empowerment choices that teach children appropriate alternatives instead of simply telling them what not to do. If you're parenting a strong-willed, highly anxious, or power-seeking child, this episode will help you better understand what's driving the behavior—and how to respond in a way that builds emotional regulation instead of escalating the struggle.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose seven-year-old daughter has struggled with pee withholding since potty training. We explore why toileting challenges are often about much more than the bathroom, including how control, anxiety, and emotional patterns can become deeply ingrained over time. I explain why children sometimes hold onto control in unexpected ways and how understanding what's happening beneath the surface can completely change the way we respond.
I also share one of the most practical tools in child-centered parenting: empowerment choices. You'll learn why simply giving children freedom isn't the same as intentionally giving them meaningful choices, how choices help children experience healthy power and responsibility, and why this approach can gradually reduce the need for children to seek control through difficult behaviors. If you're navigating toileting struggles—or any behavior rooted in control or anxiety—this episode will give you a new perspective and practical strategies you can begin using today.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom who is worried about the relationship between her four-year-old son and his younger brother. If you've ever wondered whether sibling rivalry, rough play, jealousy, or competition between siblings is normal, you're not alone. I explain some of the common dynamics that naturally emerge between siblings who are close in age, including power struggles, birth order influences, and why older siblings often have a difficult time adjusting after being "dethroned" as the only child.
I also share practical ways parents can respond when sibling conflict triggers strong emotions in themselves. We discuss the importance of staying regulated during difficult moments, setting expectations outside of conflict, and intentionally creating positive shared experiences between siblings. This episode is full of encouragement for parents who are trying to support healthy sibling relationships while managing their own worries, frustrations, and protective instincts.
Previous Episodes Mentioned in This Episode:
Be a Thermostat, Not a Thermometer This episode connects to the idea of staying regulated as the parent instead of matching your child's emotional escalation.
When a Child Is Drowning, Don't Try to Teach Them to Swim This episode explains why expectations and teaching moments are best handled when your child is calm, not in the middle of conflict.
S3E27 – Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Understanding Power Struggles in Child-Centered Play Therapy This episode gives more context for understanding power, control, and the family dynamics that often show up in sibling conflict.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose daughter witnessed the death of her father at a very young age. Now that her daughter is older, she's wondering how that experience may still be affecting her development, emotions, and behavior. I explain how children remember traumatic events differently than adults do, why early experiences can continue to influence a child years later, and how healing often unfolds in stages as children mature and gain the ability to understand their experiences in new ways.
I also share practical ways parents can support children who are processing grief, loss, or trauma. As children grow, they often revisit difficult experiences with new questions and deeper understanding. By providing a safe space for emotions, answering questions honestly, and responding with empathy rather than assumptions, parents can help their children continue to heal and grow. This episode offers encouragement for families navigating loss and reassurance that children can develop resilience, confidence, and hope even after experiencing profound hardship.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts I discuss in this Podcast? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In the first Q&A episode of Season 4, I answer a thoughtful question from a mom who is trying to help her eight-year-old daughter develop internal motivation for everyday responsibilities. We explore the difference between external rewards and the child-centered concept of choice giving, and why many parents misunderstand what choices are actually designed to accomplish. I explain how choices return responsibility to children, help them experience appropriate power and control, and allow them to learn from the outcomes of their decisions.
I also discuss an important developmental reality: young children are not making decisions through logic and abstract reasoning the way adults do. Instead, they are driven primarily by emotions and experiences. Understanding this difference can transform the way we approach expectations, consequences, and motivation. This episode will help you better understand why choice giving remains one of the most effective tools for building responsibility, confidence, and an internal locus of control over time.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this final episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I reflect on why this season has mattered so much to me and to the field of child-centered play therapy. Parents are a crucial part of a child's healing journey, and one of our greatest goals is helping parents feel equipped to understand what their children need, how to communicate with them effectively, and how to support them as they grow and work through struggles. Whether your child is in play therapy or not, every child benefits from having at least one adult who deeply understands, supports, and believes in them.
I also share the exciting news that the Parent Companion for Play Therapy book is now available on Amazon. The book was created to help parents better understand the play therapy process and how children grow emotionally, relationally, and developmentally through that work. Finally, I introduce Season 4 of the podcast, which will focus entirely on answering your real parenting questions. Moving forward, I want the podcast to center on the issues, struggles, and concerns that matter most to you and your family.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from an adoptive mom whose three-year-old becomes extremely dysregulated before and after exciting events like family camp, theme parks, or outings. I explain why children who crave stability and predictability can become emotionally overwhelmed when routines, environments, and expectations suddenly change—even when the experience itself is positive and enjoyable. What can look like "crazy behavior" or chaos is often a child showing externally what they are feeling internally.
I also walk through why controlling behavior often emerges after children feel powerless or out of control. When emotions spike too high, children can struggle to regulate themselves, and their behavior reflects that overwhelm. In this episode, I help parents understand the buildup, the emotional "crash" afterward, and why smaller, more manageable experiences may be helpful while children build coping skills, regulation, and resilience through the play therapy process.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
My New Book! Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Want to go deeper into the concepts discussed in this series? Check out Parent Companion for Play Therapy, created to help parents better understand their child, the play therapy process, and how lasting emotional growth takes place. https://www.amazon.com/Parent-Companion-Play-Therapy-Understanding/dp/B0H2D98F18/
My First Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids https://a.co/d/bThnKH9
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I answer a common question parents ask: "How can play therapy help if nothing in my child's environment is changing?" I explain why child-centered play therapy is effective even when difficult circumstances remain the same. The goal of CCPT is not to control the environment or force other people to change—it's to help the child develop the coping skills, resilience, confidence, emotional vocabulary, and self-regulation needed to handle life differently.
Over time, children stop feeling like helpless victims of their circumstances and begin believing, "I'll be okay no matter what." The environment may still be difficult, but the child is no longer overwhelmed by it in the same way. Instead of responding with fear, avoidance, anxiety, aggression, or power struggles, they begin responding with confidence, problem-solving, and self-trust. This episode helps parents understand one of the most important outcomes of CCPT: children learn that they are capable of handling hard things, even when life around them doesn't immediately improve.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about one of the biggest fears parents have after things begin improving: "What if we go backwards?" When life becomes calmer and more regulated, many parents worry that their child could suddenly return to the same level of anxiety, aggression, or emotional chaos they experienced before therapy. I explain why that fear is understandable—but why true growth in child-centered play therapy does not simply disappear.
I introduce the concept of reverse Pandora's box to explain how healing works in CCPT. Children cannot "unlearn" the coping skills, resilience, emotional vocabulary, self-esteem, and regulation they develop through the therapeutic process. Once those capacities are built, they become part of who the child is moving forward. While children may still face hard seasons or need occasional "booster" sessions, they are never starting back at zero. This episode is meant to encourage parents that the growth their child experiences is lasting and continues to serve them long after therapy ends.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom whose child is currently in play therapy and making great progress, but who is also considering adding occupational therapy. I explain why we have to be thoughtful anytime we add multiple therapies into a child's schedule. Therapy of any kind is hard work for kids—emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically—and it's easy for children to become overwhelmed, overscheduled, and over-therapized without us realizing it.
I also talk through two other important considerations. First, when we change multiple things at once, it becomes difficult to know what is actually helping. Second, different therapies often operate from very different philosophies and expectations, which can be confusing for children to navigate simultaneously. In this episode, I explain why there can be value in slowing down, changing one thing at a time, and carefully considering what your child truly needs most in a given season.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain one of the most important shifts that happens for children in the play therapy process—the change in their internal dialogue. Many children start with a fear-based mindset that sounds like "oh no, what if," where they feel powerless, overwhelmed, and unsure they can handle what might happen. This often shows up as anxiety, avoidance, or negative self-talk. It's not always spoken out loud, but it drives how they think, feel, and respond to the world.
Over time, as children build self-esteem, resilience, and problem-solving skills, that internal dialogue begins to change. Instead of assuming the worst, they begin to think, "I hope that doesn't happen, but if it does, I'll be okay." This shift reflects growing confidence, trust in themselves, and the belief that they can handle challenges. In this episode, I help you understand what that change looks like and how it develops, so you can recognize it in your child and support it through how you respond and interact with them.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain why a child's growth and healing process is not linear, even though we often expect it to be. As adults, we tend to think in straight lines—progress should move steadily forward. But children don't think or process that way. As they work through emotions and experiences, their path looks much more like a roller coaster, with twists, turns, and moments that feel like they're going backward. What can feel confusing or discouraging is often a normal part of how children process and grow.
I walk through how to reframe those moments when progress seems to stall or regress. Even when behavior feels chaotic or unpredictable, children are still moving in a positive direction overall. The goal is to trust the process, stay patient, and recognize that those ups and downs are part of the journey—not signs that something is wrong. This episode helps you understand what to expect so you can stay grounded and confident as your child works through change.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom about her child taking things that don't belong to her. I explain that while this behavior can feel alarming, it is actually very common in childhood and is usually tied to development, impulse, and a child's desire to meet a need in the moment. Children often understand that taking things is wrong, but they don't yet have the ability to reason through that impulse or regulate it effectively. What looks like stealing is often a combination of desire, limited self-control, and not yet having the words to express what they want or feel.
I also walk through how to respond in a way that teaches responsibility without creating shame. Validating the child's desire, setting clear limits, and offering choices that actually connect to what the child wants are key. When behavior continues, consequences can be appropriate, but they should be temporary and focused on helping the child develop internal responsibility—not just compliance. The goal is for the child to eventually choose not to take things because they understand and regulate themselves, not because they are being monitored.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I introduce a visual way to understand your child's behavior before and after child-centered play therapy — what I call The Wave Model: From Tsunami to Tide. Before children develop the skills to regulate, communicate, and make sense of their emotions, their behavior often shows up in extremes. The highs are very high, the lows are very low, and everything feels intense, overwhelming, and difficult to manage.
As children build emotional vocabulary, regulation, self-esteem, and a broader understanding of their world, those extremes begin to settle. The waves don't disappear, but they become calmer, more predictable, and easier to recover from. Instead of sharp spikes, behavior begins to look more like gentle, steady waves. The goal isn't to eliminate emotion, but to move from overwhelming intensity to manageable experiences — from tsunami-level reactions to a more balanced, regulated tide.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I explain the concept of the pendulum swing and why it is such an important picture for understanding what happens in child-centered play therapy. When children have felt powerless in everyday life, the permissive playroom gives them a chance to experience the opposite. They are allowed to take charge, make decisions, and even swing all the way into dictatorial power. That can look extreme, but it is actually part of the healing process. Children are testing what power feels like because they have spent so much of life feeling like they had none.
Over time, they discover that neither extreme feels good. Having no power feels awful, but having all the power feels awful too. Through the freedom of the playroom and the safety of the therapeutic relationship, children learn that balance is what actually feels right. This is how regulation develops. They move from black-and-white extremes toward a healthy middle, and that process helps parents understand why children may seem to "ping pong" for a while before they settle.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I explain the concept of the anger iceberg and how it completely changes the way we understand our children's behavior. What we see on the surface—yelling, hitting, defiance, aggression—is often just a small piece of what's actually going on. Underneath that anger is something much bigger: hurt, disappointment, fear, frustration, or overwhelm. Kids don't choose anger because it's accurate—they choose it because it feels powerful and helps them avoid vulnerability.
When we only react to the anger, we miss what our child is really trying to communicate. But when we pause and look beneath the surface, we can respond to the true emotion instead of the behavior. This shift helps our children feel seen and understood, which is what actually reduces the outbursts over time. My goal in this episode is to help you see past the behavior so you can connect with what your child is really experiencing—and respond in a way that helps, not escalates.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I walk you through how birth order shapes your child's personality—and why that matters more than most parents realize. I explain the common tendencies of oldest, middle, and youngest children, and how the dynamics between siblings influence behavior, motivation, and relationships. When you understand birth order, so many things start to make sense—why one child is driven and responsible, another is social and carefree, and another seeks connection outside the family.
I also talk about something many parents don't consider: your own birth order affects how you parent. We naturally relate more easily to the child who shares our role, and we can unintentionally bring unresolved feelings from our own childhood into how we respond to our kids. My goal is to help you see that these patterns are not problems to fix, but insights that can help you understand your children more clearly and respond to them with more awareness and connection.
Episode Reference: Richardson, R. W., & Richardson, L. A. (2000). Birth order and you (2nd ed.). Self-Counsel Press.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain one of the most important mindset shifts we can make as parents: behavior is communication. When children don't yet have an emotional vocabulary, they can't tell us what they're feeling—they have to show us. That's why big emotions often come out as tantrums, aggression, or seemingly irrational behavior. What looks like "misbehavior" is often just a child overwhelmed by feelings they don't understand and don't know how to express.
I walk through how emotional vocabulary changes everything. When children learn to recognize and verbalize what they're feeling, they no longer need to act it out. Instead of melting down, they can say, "I'm mad," or "That's not fair." And while those words may not always sound pleasant, they are a huge step forward. The more we reflect our child's feelings and help them build emotional vocabulary, the more they develop self-control, regulation, and the ability to communicate their needs in healthier ways.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about self-esteem, the seventh and final common issue that often brings children into child-centered play therapy. Self-esteem isn't something children are born with—it develops over time as they begin to understand who they are and what they are capable of. When a child struggles with self-esteem, you often see hesitation, self-doubt, and social difficulties because it's hard for a child to connect with others when they don't yet have a clear sense of themselves.
I explain how child-centered play therapy helps build self-esteem in powerful ways. In the playroom, children lead the experience, which naturally increases confidence and trust in themselves. Therapists notice and reflect what children are doing, and instead of using praise, they use encouragement that focuses on effort and persistence. Over time, children begin to see themselves differently—they start to believe they are capable, competent, and able to handle challenges. Those messages become part of how they see themselves not just in childhood, but throughout their lives.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom who is trying to decide whether to pursue an ADHD evaluation for her six-year-old while he is already in play therapy. I walk through the larger issue many parents face — the pressure to evaluate, diagnose, and medicate quickly — and how that differs from a child-centered approach that looks at the whole child first. I explain why behavior should never be reduced to a snapshot moment in time and why dysregulation, anxiety, power struggles, and lack of emotional vocabulary can often look like ADHD on the surface.
I also clarify that an evaluation is simply a tool for information. It does not force you to medicate, label, or take any specific path. You remain in control of what you do with the results. My perspective is to pursue the least invasive support first — allowing play therapy to address regulation, self-esteem, and emotional development — and then make informed decisions if concerns remain. This episode is about helping parents slow down, think holistically, and make decisions from clarity rather than pressure.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about relational issues — when children struggle socially, don't seem to connect with peers, or have difficulty maintaining friendships. I explain that these struggles are often rooted in a lack of identity or self-concept. When a child doesn't know who they are, they try on different roles from day to day, which makes it hard for other children to relate to them. In other cases, a child may have a consistent pattern of maladaptive behavior that creates distance in relationships.
I walk through how child-centered play therapy helps. In the playroom, children experience unconditional acceptance and freedom from pressure. Over time, they begin to recognize how they want to show up in relationships. Without being forced or corrected, they develop self-awareness, self-concept, and a clearer sense of identity. As they grow into who they want to be, relational struggles begin to shift because other children can finally connect with someone who knows and accepts themselves.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about aggression — one of the most common concerns that brings children into child-centered play therapy. I explain that aggression is usually rooted in one of two things: dysregulation combined with a lack of emotional vocabulary, or a mask for vulnerability. When children don't have the words for what they're feeling and don't yet know how to regulate those feelings, aggression becomes the physical way they show distress. Other times, aggression is a shield — a way to avoid the vulnerability underneath disappointment, hurt, or betrayal.
I also explain why aggression in play is not something to fear. In the playroom, children are given safe outlets to release aggression and learn to regulate it appropriately. Through limits, relationship, and emotional vocabulary building, children naturally reduce maladaptive aggression over time. Research shows that children who enter CCPT for aggression become less aggressive — not more — because they are given the space and support to become better versions of themselves.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about internalizing behaviors and how they often go unnoticed because these kids keep everything inside. Internalizing children feel just as deeply as externalizing children, but instead of showing their distress outwardly, they stuff it. Over time, that stored-up emotion builds tension until it finally breaks through in a flood of tears or overwhelm. I explain how family roles, subtle pressure, and unmet needs often contribute to this pattern. I also walk through what happens in the playroom for internalizing kids. In child-centered play therapy, they begin developing emotional vocabulary, ownership, and assertiveness. Instead of staying passive or believing they must hold everything together, they learn that their feelings can be expressed safely and that their needs can be met. Over time, they move toward balance — not stuffing emotions, and not exploding — but communicating them in healthy ways.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain externalizing behaviors — what they are, why they happen, and how child-centered play therapy helps. Externalizing kids show their distress outwardly through behaviors like yelling, hitting, throwing, running, or melting down. These children are big feelers with intense internal experiences, and their behavior is their way of showing how overwhelmed they feel. They aren't trying to manipulate or get attention — they're trying to get relief from feelings they don't know how to manage yet.
I walk through what happens in the playroom for externalizing children and why CCPT works. Through reflective responding, clear limits when needed, and lots of choice, children slowly develop emotional vocabulary, regulation, and a sense of control. Over time, the extreme highs and lows begin to level out, and children learn to express feelings with words instead of behavior. This episode helps parents understand what externalizing behavior really means and why play therapy supports lasting change.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I focus on power and control — one of the most common reasons children enter child-centered play therapy. I explain why kids who constantly push, demand, and fight for control are not being manipulative or defiant, but are responding to a deep sense of powerlessness in their lives. Children have very little control over their daily world, and when circumstances feel overwhelming or unpredictable, they grab control wherever they can.
I walk through how power and control struggles show up in the playroom and how CCPT allows children to safely work through this need. In play, children often swing from having no power to taking all the power, before eventually settling into a balanced middle ground. Through choice, trust, and a neutral therapeutic relationship, children learn they don't need to dominate or resist to feel secure. This episode helps parents understand why power struggles happen and how play therapy helps children naturally move toward balance and regulation.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I focus on anxiety — one of the most common reasons parents seek child-centered play therapy for their children. I explain how anxiety usually isn't something that suddenly appears, but instead reflects an underlying predisposition that has been present for a long time. Often, a single event brings that anxiety to the surface, and from there, children begin fearing the fear itself. As anxiety increases, so does a child's need for control, which is why anxiety and power struggles so often show up together.
I walk through what anxiety looks like inside the playroom, including resistance, hesitation, and the slow pace anxious children need in order to feel safe. I explain how fear-facing play, repetition, and desensitization help children rebuild trust in themselves. Over time, as anxiety decreases, we also see a decrease in control behaviors, alongside increases in self-esteem and emotional vocabulary. This episode helps parents understand what anxiety really is, how CCPT addresses it, and how growth in therapy leads to lasting change beyond the playroom.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from Melissa about children who are possessive of their things and struggle with sharing. I explain why phrases like "that's mine" are often tied to power and control, and why this behavior is also developmentally appropriate, especially for younger children. Kids only have control over a few areas of their lives, so when they feel powerless, they grab control wherever they can — including toys and people. Understanding this helps parents respond without frustration or shame.
I walk through how to use reflection of feeling, choice giving, and clear limits to support sharing in a child-centered way. Instead of forcing compliance, these tools return a sense of control to the child while still teaching turn-taking, empathy, and waiting. This episode helps parents see possessiveness not as a character flaw, but as a normal developmental response that can be guided calmly and effectively.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain the idea of layers of an onion and how it helps parents understand what's really happening as children work through challenges in child-centered play therapy. Each issue a child brings — anxiety, control, regulation, self-esteem, fear — is its own layer, but none of them exist in isolation. They are all connected and influence each other as part of the child's overall growth.
I walk through how these layers develop and shift together over time, alongside the four universal outcomes of play therapy. When a child works on one area, it naturally impacts others. This episode builds on the waffles and spaghetti concept and helps parents understand why play therapy leads to broad, meaningful change rather than isolated fixes — and why children don't work through issues one at a time, even if it looks that way from the outside.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom navigating a difficult co-parenting situation during divorce. Her young children are repeating things they've been told at the other parent's house — including statements that aren't true and comments that put them in the middle of adult conflict. I explain why shielding children from divorce details is not only appropriate, but essential for their emotional safety, and why kids should never feel responsible for adult problems.
I walk through child-centered ways to respond when children repeat things they shouldn't know or accuse a parent of lying. I explain how to reflect feelings when emotions are present, how to respond neutrally when they're not, how to return responsibility back to adults, and how calm, consistent truth builds trust over time. This episode helps parents protect the parent-child relationship, support their child's emotional safety, and stay grounded when kids are caught between conflicting messages.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain how a child's brain works differently from an adult's brain in therapy — and why that difference matters so much. Many parents assume therapy is therapy, but children don't process experiences through logic, language, or abstract thinking the way adults do. I compare adult brains to waffles and children's brains to cooked spaghetti to show how adults can compartmentalize issues, while children experience everything as connected and happening all at once.
I walk through why verbal prompts and talk-based therapy work for adults but fail for young children, and how child-centered play therapy matches the way kids actually process experiences. When a child works on one issue in play, it naturally pulls other issues along with it — building momentum and growth across multiple areas at the same time. This episode helps parents understand why CCPT works with children and why play, not talking, is the most effective way for kids to heal and grow.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from Deborah about co-parenting, shared custody, and how to support a 12-year-old who doesn't want to go back and forth between homes. I explain why, even at this age, kids are still not comfortable using words to handle emotionally charged situations, especially when feelings are involved. Expecting a child to clearly and calmly advocate for themselves in a tense relational situation often reflects adulthood bias, not developmental reality.
I walk through why it still matters for the child's voice to be heard, but how parents can support that in developmentally appropriate ways. Instead of forcing a single approach, I explain how offering choices around how a child communicates gives them ownership, buy-in, and a sense of control. I also talk about why adults often focus too much on a child's words instead of the message underneath, and how shifting that focus can change the outcome of difficult conversations.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy and how it shapes a child's behavior, identity, and sense of self. Children often become what the people in their lives expect them to be — not because those expectations are spoken directly, but because they're communicated through tone, reactions, labels, and assumptions. I talk about how easily children become branded as "the bad kid," "the quiet kid," or "the problem kid," and how those expectations quietly limit who they believe they can become.
I also explain why child-centered play therapy works so differently. In the playroom, children are not defined by past behavior or labels. They are seen as capable, growing, and becoming. When a child experiences unconditional acceptance paired with belief in their capacity to change, that message becomes powerful. This episode helps parents understand how expectations influence behavior — and how shifting those expectations can change the entire trajectory of a child's growth.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a question from Kylee about sibling jealousy — specifically how her seven-year-old daughter reacts during her siblings' birthdays. I explain how birth order plays a significant role in this dynamic and why middle children often struggle with attention and identity. I walk through how jealousy fits into the bigger picture of being "the forgotten child" in a family of five, and why her daughter's reactions make sense developmentally.
I also share practical steps to reduce jealousy and strengthen connection, including building in weekly one-on-one time with each child, setting clear expectations long before birthdays arrive, and validating feelings while still holding limits. Over time, as her daughter's self-esteem grows through play therapy and through connection at home, these reactions will naturally lessen.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about nature versus nurture and how both play a meaningful role in the behaviors parents often seek therapy for. I explain the difference between a child's inborn personality traits (nature) and the experiences that shape them over time (nurture), and why many struggles — anxiety, control, sensory sensitivities, aggression, timidity — usually reflect both at work.
I walk through how child-centered play therapy honors who a child naturally is while helping them regain regulation when life experiences have pushed their tendencies beyond what they can manage on their own. The goal of CCPT is never to change a child's personality; it's to help them function well, stay regulated, and prevent natural traits from becoming overwhelming. This episode helps parents understand why their child may be struggling, why it's not their fault, and how therapy supports a healthy return to balance.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about how many challenging behaviors in young children can be traced back to one core issue: power and control. Melanie wrote in with concerns about her two-and-a-half-year-old nephew — picky eating, tantrums, saying "no" to everything, refusing to follow directions, and melting down when overwhelmed. I walk through how each of these behaviors connects to a child's need to feel some sense of control in their world, especially when so much of daily life is directed by adults.
I also explain why giving in during big outbursts reinforces the escalation cycle, how choices help empower kids in healthy ways, why neutrality matters when setting limits, and how reflecting feelings helps children feel understood even in difficult moments. These principles help reduce power struggles and create a calmer, more connected relationship — even when behaviors feel overwhelming.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain the idea of snowball momentum — how one area of growth in child-centered play therapy naturally leads to progress in other areas. Children rarely work on just one issue in isolation. As they begin addressing themes like power and control, self-esteem, anxiety, or aggression, progress in one area creates movement in the others. That momentum grows session by session, especially during the work phase of therapy, and becomes the driving force behind lasting change.
I walk through how these therapeutic themes feed into each other, why consistent sessions matter for maintaining this momentum, and how this same principle applies not only in therapy but in life. Small change creates more change — and once the snowball starts rolling, growth accelerates. This episode helps parents understand why CCPT is so effective over time and why each session builds on the last.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I respond to a parent who's navigating a long list of confusing behaviors with her six-year-old — from struggles with socks and underwear to bedtime battles, toileting challenges, emotional outbursts, and power struggles throughout the day. I explain how all of these issues point back to one core theme: control. Children only have control over a few things in their world, and when life feels overwhelming or unpredictable — especially for a child with medical trauma — they hold on tightly wherever they can.
I walk through why these behaviors make sense, how medical experiences amplify a child's need for power, and why so many of the "sensory" issues parents describe are actually tied to anxiety and emotional sensitivity. I also offer guidance on how to shift language around limits, how to understand masking behaviors, and why returning to child-centered play therapy may be helpful as he continues processing what he's been through.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about how your child becomes the "identified change agent" in the family once they begin child-centered play therapy. When a child starts growing, regulating better, and acting differently, it naturally disrupts the family's usual roles and patterns — and everyone else has to adjust. I explain why change in one person always leads to change in the entire system, even when the rest of the family isn't in therapy.
I also talk about birth order, family roles, and the self-fulfilling impact of the labels we use for our kids. When your child begins to move toward their ideal self through CCPT, siblings and parents often shift too — sometimes with resistance, sometimes with ease. Understanding this dynamic helps you make sense of why family patterns change during therapy and how you can support a healthier balance moving forward.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about one of the biggest underlying causes of difficult behavior — a child's need for control. When kids feel like they have very little say in their world, they look for places where they can take control, and those power struggles often show up in everyday routines.
I explain the five main areas where children naturally assert control — toileting, sleeping, eating, talking, and obedience — and why those struggles are less about defiance and more about a child's search for autonomy. Once parents recognize that behavior often stems from a need for control, it changes the way they respond. Giving kids small, healthy choices helps restore balance, reduce power struggles, and strengthen the parent-child relationship.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about how parents and children move toward each other during the play therapy process — and why that shared movement is essential for lasting change. I explain what happens when a child begins to grow through therapy and how that growth naturally creates change for everyone in the family.
I use two simple illustrations — converging paths and the legal scales of justice — to show how families adjust as one member changes. When a child becomes the "change agent" through play therapy, it shifts the balance for everyone. The key is whether parents resist that shift or join their child in it. When parents also make changes, outcomes improve and relationships strengthen. This episode helps parents understand that therapy isn't about "fixing" a child — it's about everyone growing together.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about how we interpret our children's behavior — and why it's so important to see behavior as communication. I share a simple but powerful reminder from the phrase that comes from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Landreth, Bratton, 2016) "focus on the doughnut, not the hole." When we fixate on what's missing or what frustrates us about our kids, we lose sight of the good that's right in front of us.
I explain how behavior is often a child's way of showing pain, confusion, or vulnerability, and how shifting our perspective changes everything about how we respond. I also discuss the idea of the self-fulfilling prophecy — that children often become what adults expect of them. When we see them as capable and good, they rise to meet that belief. This episode helps parents understand what it truly means to focus on the whole child, to see behavior differently, and to strengthen the relationship that drives growth and change.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Landreth, G.L., & Bratton, S.C. (2019). Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT): An Evidence-Based 10-Session Filial Therapy Model (2nd ed.). Routledge.
In this episode, I answer a listener question from Lisa about how play therapy helps when parents aren't in the room — and how to handle power struggles and aggression at home in a child-centered way. I explain why it's actually beneficial for children to be alone with the therapist, how they naturally bring their struggles into the playroom, and why parents' presence can sometimes prevent the real work from happening.
I also share practical guidance for managing intense emotions and aggression at home — including when to set limits, how to handle big outbursts, and what to do when your child's behavior escalates. These principles help parents respond calmly, model regulation, and give their children the space to develop self-control and emotional balance.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain the four universal outcomes of child-centered play therapy — the lifelong benefits every child gains from the process, no matter what brought them into therapy. While each child works through their own unique challenges, all children who experience CCPT develop four essential skills: an expanded emotional vocabulary, increased regulation, stronger self-esteem, and a broader worldview.
These outcomes don't just help children right now; they impact every part of their future — from relationships to confidence to problem-solving. I walk through what each of these outcomes means, how they develop in play therapy, and how parents can support them at home.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a listener question from Ellie, a mom navigating separation anxiety with her 9- and 7-year-old children. We unpack the root of separation anxiety—how it's often more about a child's internal anxiety than the separation itself—and discuss the natural coping strategies kids develop in response. I also touch on the connection between anxiety and control, and how those patterns form over time.
If you're seeing signs of anxiety in your kids, this episode will help you understand how those patterns develop, how therapy can help, and why what your child believes about their world and themselves is more powerful than anything you can tell them. We also discuss the role your own healing journey plays in shaping a safe emotional environment for your children.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain one of the most important parts of understanding what happens in the playroom — symbolic and thematic play. This episode helps parents make sense of how their child's play reflects their experiences, emotions, and healing process.
I describe how children often "rewrite" their stories through play, working through fear, confusion, or past experiences in ways that help them feel more in control and confident. Understanding symbolic and thematic play is key for parents, because it reveals how meaningful play really is — and why it leads to lasting change in child-centered play therapy.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I walk through the four phases of the child-centered play therapy process. Understanding these phases helps parents know what to expect as their child progresses through therapy — from the initial connection to the completion of treatment.
I explain each stage — initiation, resistance, work, and termination — and describe what happens in each. Parents often wonder how play therapy unfolds and why behaviors may shift along the way. This episode will help you recognize that change takes time, that resistance is a natural part of healing, and that every phase has a purpose in helping your child grow into a happier, healthier version of themselves.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I answer one of the most common questions parents have: What does a child-centered play therapist actually do? From the outside, it might look like kids are just playing, but in reality, everything the therapist says and does is intentional, skill-based, and grounded in the child-centered psychological theory.
I explain how therapists use reflective responses, offer choices, set limits when needed, and create a safe environment of trust, respect, and unconditional acceptance. I also share the deeper ways a child experiences the therapist’s presence, engagement, and care. The playroom is not about random play — it’s about creating the relationship and environment where your child can become the best version of themselves.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from Barry in the UK about co-parenting struggles, sibling conflict, and feeling overwhelmed when kids fight. I share encouragement from another listener’s success story and then walk through Barry’s challenges step by step. Together, we look at how to stay calm, use reflective responses, set clear limits, and avoid falling into power struggles.
I also explain why kids often grasp for power and control when life feels uncertain, and how creating household rules, building consistent special time, and repairing after mistakes can make all the difference. Parenting isn’t about being perfect — it’s about having a plan, sticking with it, and trusting that connected relationships help kids grow into their best selves.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain how child-centered play therapy (CCPT) actually works — and why it’s different from directive play therapy. Parents often assume all play therapy looks the same, but there are big differences. In directive approaches, the therapist sets the agenda and teaches lessons. In CCPT, the child leads the process, and the therapist follows with support, acceptance, and structure.
This difference matters because when children own the process, they feel safe, confident, and invested. They work through struggles in their own way, at their own pace, which leads to lasting growth in self-esteem, regulation, problem-solving, and resilience. It may look simple from the outside, but CCPT creates deep, lifelong change because it gives children the freedom and safety to tell their own story.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about one of the biggest questions parents ask: Why does play therapy actually work? On the surface it looks like kids are just playing, but what’s really happening is deep, hard emotional work. Play creates the safety and freedom children need to show their fears, frustrations, and struggles in ways they can’t with words.
I explain how child-centered play therapy provides the right conditions — a safe environment, a trusting relationship, and the freedom to be fully themselves — so children can process, heal, and grow. It might look simple, but it is profoundly effective, because it honors where kids are developmentally and allows them to do the emotional work they can’t do anywhere else.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
I’m excited to kick off Season 3 of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast! This series is called Parent Companion for Play Therapy, and it’s designed both for parents whose children are in play therapy and for any parent who wants to better understand their kids. Whether you’re navigating the therapy process or simply looking for a new perspective at home, these episodes will give you clarity, confidence, and practical ways to connect with your child.
In this first episode, I introduce the series and dive into one of the most important concepts: Adulthood Bias. This happens when we interpret children’s behavior through our adult lens of logic, reasoning, and expectations. But kids don’t process the world the way we do — they act and react from feelings, not logic. I share real-life examples of how Adulthood Bias shows up and explain how shifting our mindset helps us respond with curiosity and connection instead of frustration. This mindset shift is the foundation for everything else we’ll cover this season.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer follow-up questions from a listener named Brianna about managing challenging behaviors with her 9-year-old daughter. We talk about how to handle situations where kids refuse to make choices, how to give choices effectively without creating power struggles, and how to respond when children act out as a way to regain control. I also touch on common issues like initiating fights, boredom-related misbehavior on road trips, and emotional reactions in friendships.
If you’ve ever struggled with giving your child power in healthy ways, especially during tense moments, this episode offers practical tools to help. You’ll learn specific phrases to use, the importance of offering choices proactively (not just during discipline), and how to set calm, neutral limits that lead to more cooperation and less conflict.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I respond to a listener question from a mom struggling with her nearly 10-year-old son’s ongoing toileting issues. If you’ve ever felt isolated, frustrated, or overwhelmed because your child isn’t toilet trained at an age when society says they “should be,” you are not alone. I walk through why toileting can be an anxiety-driven control issue, especially for children on the autism spectrum, and how to start a compassionate, step-by-step desensitization process to bring about change—without shame, punishment, or pressure.
This episode is especially important if your older child is still having accidents or refusing to use the toilet, even after years of effort. I help you reframe this issue through a child-centered lens, emphasizing regulation, consistency, and empathy. Most of all, I want to give you hope: this can change, and your child can succeed. You are not failing, and your child is not broken.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom of two daughters who is struggling with sass, sibling fights, and power struggles—especially with her 9-year-old. While it may feel like a dozen separate issues, I explain how these behaviors can often be traced back to one underlying theme: a child’s need for power and control. Once we see it through that lens, things become much clearer.
I walk through how giving choices within boundaries can reduce conflict, why reflecting feelings is especially important for sensitive kids, and how adulthood bias can unintentionally cause us to expect our children to act like little adults. I also share the importance of setting aside even just 15 minutes of focused, unconditional time to strengthen your connection. These simple shifts can make a big difference in easing the power struggles and building a stronger relationship with your child.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I respond to a question from Jenn in Connecticut, a mom navigating ongoing conflict between her two teenage sons. Despite being in individual therapy, the boys struggle to connect, and family time has become a battleground. I explore how small, seemingly insignificant moments build over time to shape strained relationships, and I offer a practical, child-centered strategy to help restore connection—without forcing it.
You'll hear how unconditional acceptance, consistent presence, and one-on-one time with each parent can slowly begin to heal fractured sibling dynamics. I also explain why the boys being in therapy is already a powerful start toward change, and how their personal growth will ripple through the family system over time.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I respond to a question from Caitlin, a mom navigating school refusal, anxiety, and potential learning disabilities with her 9-year-old son. I share my thoughts on how to approach school struggles from both a therapeutic and practical standpoint, including the importance of evaluations for learning disorders, the pros and cons of changing school environments, and what to consider when exploring alternatives like charter or homeschool.
I also explain why removing an anxious child from a difficult situation without therapeutic support can actually reinforce anxiety—and how thoughtful, intentional changes made with your child’s specific needs in mind can set them up for success. If school mornings feel like a battle, this episode will give you a compassionate perspective and actionable direction.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer three questions from Jillian in Colorado, all centered around real-life parenting challenges. As a fellow mom of an only child, I share what has worked for me in finding the balance between being your child’s playmate and maintaining healthy boundaries—especially when screen time starts to feel like a guilt-driven substitute. I also talk through how to handle co-parenting when the other parent isn’t aligned with your parenting approach and what to do when your child won’t sleep in their own bed.
From managing solo parenting dynamics to navigating anxiety-driven sleep habits, this episode is full of practical insight, encouragement, and strategies that help you stay grounded and confident, even when your parenting journey doesn’t go exactly as planned.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com My Book: Device Detox: A Parent's Guide To Reducing Usage, Preventing Tantrums, And Raising Happier Kids - https://a.co/d/bThnKH9 Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from Kendall about how to set limits when you can’t predict a behavior in advance—like when a child suddenly lashes out at a sibling “for no reason.” I walk through how to balance proactive expectations with in-the-moment limit setting using the ACT model (Acknowledge, Communicate the limit, Target alternatives).
I also explain how to shift the language from parent-imposed consequences to child-led choices, so children learn that their actions have natural outcomes. Finally, I share why emotional vocabulary is essential for building regulation and why children often act before they think—reminding parents that developmentally, they’re not wired for reasoned decision-making yet. This episode is a practical guide for handling those surprising parenting moments while staying calm and connected.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from a mom navigating intense bedtime struggles with her highly anxious daughter. When emotions escalate and her child feels panicked or overwhelmed, she questions whether enforcing boundaries might seem insensitive. I break down what’s really going on—how anxiety drives a need for control—and why bedtime often becomes the battleground.
Using child-centered strategies, I walk through how to respond in ways that honor both the child’s emotions and the parent's need for structure, sleep, and sanity. I explain how to set compassionate boundaries, return responsibility, and use empowering choices to build your child’s resilience and coping skills—without fueling the cycle of dependence.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I respond to a question from Hannah in England about her 3.5-year-old son who is regressing in his toilet training—especially around poop. I walk through how power struggles, control, and developmental readiness all play a role in potty setbacks. I explain how enforcement choices from the child-centered model can be used to return responsibility to the child, allowing them to experience the natural consequences of their decisions without nagging, pressure, or shame.
We also talk about why school-based strategies like sticker charts and bathroom schedules often make things worse, especially when a child already feels shy, judged, or out of control. If you're feeling stuck in the potty training phase or navigating challenges across home and school, this episode will give you a clear, compassionate approach grounded in CCPT principles.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I respond to a question from Whitney about her six-year-old son’s negative self-talk and self-harming behaviors—things like calling himself “stupid” or hitting himself after making a mistake. I explain why these behaviors are often rooted in low self-esteem, anxiety, and low frustration tolerance—and why it’s not about attention or defiance, but maladaptive coping.
I walk through how to set clear, compassionate limits on self-harm while offering healthy alternatives for emotional release. I also share how to support his self-concept through encouragement and provide access to over 100 esteem-building phrases to use at home. If your child has ever melted down in shame or seemed harsh with themselves, this episode offers both understanding and a path forward.
Episode links: 101+ Encouragement Phrases - Watch the video and download the list! https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/101-encouragement-phrases/
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer an email from Sarah, a mom whose two boys are in school-based play therapy and who is just beginning to learn about the child-centered approach. Sarah shares her excitement, questions, and challenges as she starts to apply what she’s learned—especially the difficulty of knowing what to do in the moment with strong emotions.
I talk about the common struggle parents face when trying something new: your brain goes blank. I explain why that happens, how CCPT is like learning a new language, and what to do instead of getting discouraged. I offer practical tips for early success, including choosing one skill to focus on, mentally rehearsing outside of real-time moments, and trusting the process—even when it feels like nothing is working. This episode is encouragement and guidance for any parent just starting the journey of CCPT-inspired parenting.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I talk about how to have honest, age-appropriate conversations with your child when a death occurs—especially when it’s sudden and unexpected. I walk through how to talk to children in a way that gives them truth without overwhelming them, and why sparing them from information often does more harm than good.
I also explain how grief looks different in children than in adults, how developmental stages impact the grieving process over time, and how to support your child through those recurring waves. I share practical suggestions for closure, guidance on when to seek therapy, and how to respond neutrally to tough questions so your child feels safe continuing the conversation.
Episode References: How to be truthful with your kids, even when the truth is hard! https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/how-to-be-truthful-with-your-kids-even-when-the-truth-is-hard/
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I respond to Sunny from Australia, who shares her family's ongoing bedtime struggle with her 6.5-year-old daughter—an intelligent, big-feeling child working through anxiety and night terrors. After a year of consistency that led to sleep deprivation and exhaustion, Sunny and her partner ultimately let their daughter sleep on a separate bed in their room. Now, they’re wondering how to help her transition back to her own bedroom.
I explain the underlying reasons why anxious kids resist sleeping alone and how control becomes their coping strategy. I also outline a gradual, child-centered approach to help Sunny's daughter regain confidence and independence, emphasizing preparation, ownership, and choice. This episode is for any parent navigating bedtime challenges with a sensitive child—and seeking a compassionate, practical path forward.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from Claire, a mom of 4-year-old twins, who’s navigating the challenges of potty training and trying to decide if limits or consequences are appropriate when accidents happen. I talk through the developmental reality of toileting at this age, the somatic and emotional components that impact bodily regulation, and why accidents—even when a child “should know better”—are often not about defiance.
I also share why I don’t recommend using rewards or taking things away for potty behavior, and how to respond calmly and neutrally with a gentle reminder of expectations instead. Whether you’re in the middle of potty training or just want insight on how kids express control and process emotion through their bodies, this episode will help you shift perspective and parent with more patience and confidence.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby—a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, and founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching—for an important conversation about how our struggles as parents affect our kids, especially during seasons of divorce, separation, or personal crisis. We explore what parents need to know when navigating big transitions, why your own emotional health directly influences your child’s, and how to make decisions with confidence and clarity.
We also talk about co-parenting with intention, modeling emotional resilience, and why being the parent you want to be starts with becoming the healthiest version of yourself. Whether you’re navigating relationship challenges, dealing with personal setbacks, or simply trying to show up better for your kids, this episode is full of insight, perspective, and practical encouragement.
You can find Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby's website and FREE resources at: https://www.growingself.com/
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Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from Sabrina about her 10-year-old daughter who suddenly refused to continue play therapy after just a few weeks. She now says she’d rather journal or talk with her mom instead. Sabrina wonders if play at home can bring the same results as therapy and how to navigate this resistance.
I explain the four phases of play therapy, why resistance is a natural and expected part of the process, and how avoiding therapy can reinforce anxiety rather than resolve it. I also discuss the key components that make play therapy effective—relationship, time, tools, and opportunity—and why results come from consistency and adherence to the process rather than just playing at home. Finally, I share how to approach this situation with validation and neutral limits, ensuring that her daughter continues therapy while still feeling a sense of control.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from Anne in Germany about her three-year-old daughter who refuses to choose when given enforcement choices. Instead of picking an option, she repeatedly says nothing, creating a power struggle around limit-setting.
I explain why choosing "nothing" is still a choice and how to handle this scenario without engaging in a battle of wills. I walk through how to calmly and confidently remind children that choosing not to choose means the parent will choose for them—and why this approach teaches self-control, responsibility, and cause-and-effect thinking. If you’ve ever struggled with a child refusing to make a choice when offered in a child-giving for enforcement scenario, this episode provides a clear, Play Therapy Parenting strategy to resolve it.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I introduce the concept of ADULTHOOD BIAS —the tendency for adults to forget what it was like to be a child, who does not possess rational thought or abstract reasoning until about age 12. This bias causes frustration when kids act impulsively, give one-word answers, or behave in ways that don’t make sense from an adult perspective. Children don’t think or reason the way adults do; they react emotionally and live in the moment. When we expect them to process situations like we do, we set ourselves up for unnecessary struggles.
I explain how recognizing adulthood bias can help parents respond differently—validating feelings instead of dismissing them, setting limits when necessary, and improving communication. By shifting our perspective, we can better connect with our kids and support their emotional development. If you’ve ever been confused by your child’s behavior, this episode will help you see it through a new lens.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from Lauren, a mom struggling with her almost 3-year-old’s intense attachment to her father. Her daughter experiences severe separation anxiety, especially at bedtime, making it nearly impossible for mom to comfort her without dad’s presence. I walk through why this attachment has developed and what steps Lauren (and any parent in a similar situation) can take to break the cycle. From setting clear boundaries to using the "be-with" attitudes and remaining neutral through emotional storms, I offer a step-by-step approach to help children learn self-regulation while preserving the parent-child relationship. If bedtime battles are a challenge in your home, I hope this episode serves you!
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to a heartfelt question from Heather, a mom navigating divorce while helping her young child through big emotions and challenging behaviors like aggression and biting. I discuss how changes in relationships—such as a deployed parent, a changing caregiver, or shifting custody arrangements—can deeply impact a child's sense of stability and security. I explain why behaviors like biting and aggression often stem from emotional overwhelm rather than defiance and share practical, child-centered strategies to help guide children through these struggles.
I also walk through limit-setting techniques that preserve the parent-child relationship while teaching emotional regulation and self-control. From handling aggression in the moment to reinforcing choices and natural consequences, I provide a clear framework for parents to set boundaries with confidence and consistency. If you're struggling with similar challenges, this episode will give you the tools to respond with empathy, structure, and intentionality.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I kick off a new series on raising kids who self-regulate. Power struggles and control grabs are common challenges in parenting, but they often undermine the parent-child relationship. I discuss why the ultimate goal is not controlling your child’s behavior but teaching parents a new way to interact with their kids that fosters self-regulation.
I introduce the key concept that children learn self-regulation by being given the opportunity to take responsibility for their actions, rather than having their behavior controlled by adults. Through this series, I’ll share practical, tangible strategies to help parents foster emotional vocabulary, self-regulation, and autonomy in their kids. Together, we’ll work toward happier homes and stronger relationships.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an insightful email from Laura in the UK, who is navigating challenges with her 10-year-old son. Laura shares concerns about his lack of intrinsic motivation, his struggle with self-worth, and their morning routine battles. I explain how to encourage intrinsic motivation by using neutral encouragement paired with reflective statements, and how to avoid praise, which can often backfire.
For improving self-worth, I discuss strategies like coupling affirmations with validations and addressing the internal dialogue that drives resistance. Finally, I outline a step-by-step approach to transforming the morning routine, using choices tied to immediate, meaningful consequences. This episode offers practical, actionable tips for empowering children while building their confidence and autonomy.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to Alison’s questions about handling two common parenting challenges: when kids reject reflecting feelings and when they power-struggle choice-giving. Alison shares her frustrations with her son covering his ears and yelling, “Stop talking!” during feeling reflections and refusing choices during mealtime. I explain why this resistance is normal, especially when children are uncomfortable with new strategies, and how to stay consistent in your approach.
I offer practical tips for navigating these power struggles, such as softening your tone, using patience, and staying neutral when your child eventually makes a choice. Remember, consistency is key—by sticking with these methods, your child will develop emotional vocabulary, self-regulation, and decision-making skills.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an email from Deborah in Florida, who is navigating several parenting challenges in a blended family. Deborah shares her experience raising two sons, ages 11 and 4, and the complexities of applying play therapy principles across different stages of development, varying household rules, and challenges like screen time and birth order dynamics. I provide practical advice for implementing consistent parenting strategies, managing screen time effectively, and helping her youngest son engage with choices and limits without power struggles.
I also address how birth order resets with a significant age gap between siblings and how this influences their personalities and dynamics. Whether you’re in a blended family or facing similar parenting dilemmas, this episode offers insights and strategies to help you build confidence in your parenting journey.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I answer a question from Cindy about managing her five-year-old daughter's intense separation anxiety and big emotions. Cindy describes her daughter's attachment to her as a "safe person," especially at home, where her anxiety becomes more unmanageable. I discuss strategies that can support Cindy’s daughter, including reflecting her feelings to help build emotional vocabulary and setting clear limits with choices, which empowers Cindy’s daughter to handle situations more independently.
I also suggest a gradual approach to creating separation expectations, using a specific target date and providing choices for how Cindy’s daughter can respond. This strategy encourages self-regulation and reinforces her sense of security. By combining these techniques with her ongoing play therapy, Cindy can help her daughter develop resilience and confidence in her ability to manage her emotions.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an email from Nicola, a parent struggling with her six-year-old son who resists reflective feelings and limit-setting techniques, often becoming aggressive. Nicola also has a younger son who responds well to these strategies, adding to her frustration. I explain why this behavior is a typical power and control struggle, and how her son's resistance is rooted in his discomfort with change. I offer practical advice on how to approach these situations with patience and consistency, emphasizing that new parenting strategies often trigger discomfort, but that tenacity and clear limits can help the child adjust over time.
I also discuss the importance of setting consequences at neutral times, reflecting feelings even when the child resists, and recognizing when a child is emotionally "drowning." With persistence and the right approach, children will eventually learn self-control and self-regulation. Lastly, I normalize the experience of having two children with opposite temperaments, especially when they are close in age.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I speak with C.R. Stewart, author of the Britfield series, about the power of wholesome literature in shaping children’s emotional and intellectual development. We discuss how value-based stories can nurture your child’s creativity, critical thinking, and sense of self-worth, while providing an alternative to the media and screen time overload. Learn how you can empower your children with content that promotes family, courage, and hope.
Stewart shares insights into his creative process, the global impact of his books, and how parents can nurture creativity and courage in their children.
Stewart’s work is setting a new standard in children's literature by promoting values like family, courage, and loyalty.
Discover the Britfield series here: https://www.britfield.com/
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I answer a question from Amy, a mom of two from Florida, who is navigating the challenge of implementing child-centered play therapy principles with her 12 and 9-year-olds. Amy is concerned about whether it’s too late to start using these techniques with older children and asks about handling mean words, backtalk, and yelling in her home. I discuss how these strategies can be applied effectively at any age, and I offer practical advice on setting limits, staying calm during heated moments, and using child-centered techniques even when the dynamics in the family begin to shift.
I also explore the importance of setting expectations at neutral times and providing clear, concrete limits to guide children’s behavior. Amy’s question is a great reminder that it’s never too late to start implementing these principles, and every step you take to improve your parenting skills will positively impact your children for the rest of their lives.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I address a question from Nell in Ireland about using encouragement and esteem-building techniques with a sensitive child who doesn't respond well in challenging moments. I discuss the importance of ensuring our tone of voice and facial expressions are congruent with the child's emotional state, especially when they're frustrated or struggling. I emphasize the value of reflecting feelings before offering encouragement. This approach validates the child's emotions and creates a connection, making them more receptive to encouragement. I also touch on the necessity of setting limits when a child reacts inappropriately, such as pushing or hitting. Finally, I explain why we should persist with encouragement and esteem-building, even when children initially resist. These techniques communicate our belief in their capabilities, contribute to a positive self-fulfilling prophecy, and help shape their self-concept through the "looking glass self" principle. I reassure parents that as a child's self-esteem increases, so will their frustration tolerance, making them more receptive to encouragement over time.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I address a common parenting challenge: children's resistance to hygiene practices. I respond to a question from Rosemary in Florida, who's struggling with her 10-year-old daughter's refusal to use soap while showering and to wipe and flush after using the bathroom.
I explain that this behavior is fundamentally a power and control issue. Children have control over very few things in their lives, and hygiene routines are one area where they can exert independence. To address this, I introduce the concept of choice giving as a powerful parenting tool. I walk through how to set clear expectations and use ultimate choice giving to return some power to the child while maintaining parental authority.
I emphasize the importance of identifying a child's "currency" - what motivates them - and incorporating it into the choices presented. Whether it's privacy in the bathroom or access to favorite activities, these choices give children ownership of their decisions and natural consequences. I also stress the need for consistency and starting fresh each day, allowing children to learn from their choices without carrying over punishments.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I discuss the importance of implementing small play sessions with your children to practice the parenting skills we've been discussing. I explain why play is crucial for children's development and emotional processing, and how it provides a unique window into their world.
I share practical advice on how to schedule 30-minute play sessions with each of your children every week. During these sessions, I encourage you to let your child lead the play while you focus on practicing specific skills like reflecting feelings, encouraging, and giving choices. I emphasize that this dedicated playtime helps build strong connections with your kids, increases understanding, and often leads to improved self-regulating behavior.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I discuss the importance of being present and engaged with our children. I share a heartwarming experience I had on a recent flight, where I observed a father fully engaged with his young son for the entire 2.5-hour journey. This interaction exemplified the essence of play therapy parenting - being attuned, present, and engaged.
I offer practical tips for improving presence, including maintaining eye contact, using reflective responses, and trying to experience the world through our children's eyes.
Throughout the episode, I stress that building a strong relationship with our children is paramount. While it's impossible to be fully engaged at all times, I encourage listeners to aim for at least 15 minutes of undivided attention daily. This intentional focus can significantly impact the parent-child bond and create lasting positive effects.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I address a question from Emma in Ireland about her 4-year-old son's toileting issues. Despite being toilet trained for over a year, he frequently has accidents, especially during changes in routine or when other people are caring for him. I explain that this behavior is likely rooted in power and control issues, as children have control over very few aspects of their lives.
I discuss the concept of "somatic" responses, where emotional issues manifest physically, and how positive emotions can help overcome these challenges. I provide practical advice on using a child's "currency" - something they value - as motivation for proper toileting behavior. I also emphasize the importance of using choices and limit setting, even with young children, to address these issues effectively.
Throughout the episode, I offer specific strategies for parents to implement, such as setting neutral expectations and offering choices. I stress the importance of remaining calm and neutral in response to both successes and accidents to avoid triggering power struggles. Finally, I share a personal anecdote about my own experience with my son's accident in a restaurant, reminding listeners that these issues are common and temporary.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I discuss the topic of power struggles between parents and children. I explain why these struggles occur, provide a framework for handling them, and offer practical advice rooted in child-centered play therapy principles.
I emphasize the importance of understanding the "why" behind power struggles. Children often seek control because they have little of it in their daily lives. By recognizing this, parents can approach these situations with more empathy and effectiveness. I introduce a framework using three of the four pillars we've discussed in previous episodes: reflecting feelings, giving choices, and setting limits when necessary.
I stress the significance of staying neutral during power struggles and explain how this approach can help diffuse tense situations. By being a "thermostat" rather than a "thermometer," parents can model emotional regulation and bring calm to challenging interactions. Throughout the episode, I provide examples of how to apply these principles in real-life scenarios, empowering parents to handle power struggles with confidence and composure.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I address a question from Noel about managing morning routines and getting kids ready for school on time. As many parents can relate, the struggle to get children dressed, fed, and out the door for the bus is a common challenge. I share insights from a child-centered play therapy approach to make mornings easier and less stressful for everyone involved.
I emphasize the importance of providing choices to children, especially the night before, to create buy-in and ownership. This approach helps reduce power struggles and nagging in the morning. I also share a personal story from my childhood to illustrate the power of natural consequences. The key takeaway is the concept of "ultimate choice-giving," where children are given clear options and allowed to experience the results of their decisions. This method encourages self-regulation and intrinsic motivation.
Throughout the episode, I provide practical examples of implementing these strategies, including specific language to use with children. I stress the importance of remaining calm and neutral while acknowledging children's choices and feelings. By consistently applying these techniques, parents can create more peaceful mornings and help their children develop self-regulation.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I discuss a practice from the child-centered play therapy model: sitting in the pocket of your child's feelings. As parents, we often struggle to relate to our children's intense emotions because we have the luxury of rational thinking. However, children live in their emotions to a degree that's hard for us to comprehend.
I explain why it's important to reflect your child's feelings without dismissing or trying to fix them. By simply acknowledging their emotions and sitting with them in that feeling, we help our children feel heard and understood. This approach, while challenging for parents, actually benefits children in multiple ways. It gives them space to process their emotions, develop problem-solving skills, and learn to self-regulate.
I challenge parents to try this technique the next time their child expresses strong emotions. Instead of rushing to solve the problem or minimize their feelings, reflect the emotion and then sit quietly with them. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it's a powerful way to support your child's emotional growth and resilience.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I answer a question from Gaer in the UK about her two adopted sons, ages 3 and 9, who are both starting play therapy to help with anxiety and emotional dysregulation. Gaer's youngest in particular has been acting out physically when upset.
I explain that it's common for siblings, especially of the same sex, to take on "internalizer" and "externalizer" roles when it comes to expressing emotions. The older son is likely internalizing his feelings while the younger is externalizing through aggressive behaviors. Neither is healthy, as both boys lack the emotional vocabulary and coping skills to handle their big feelings.
To address this, I recommend Gaer start using my "four pillars" of play therapy parenting, beginning with reflecting the boys' feelings to build their emotional intelligence. Setting limits is also key for the 3-year-old's aggressive behaviors. Consequences should be consistently enforced. Throughout this process, Gaer needs to be a "thermostat" - staying calm and regulated herself in order to model emotional control for her sons.
I'm so glad Gaer's family is embarking on a play therapy journey. With commitment and the right tools, I believe they will see hugely positive impacts. I'm grateful to Gaer for her question and willingness to share her story.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I talk about how the relationship with your child is the most important thing, even more important than the specific parenting skills and techniques we've been discussing. While learning and applying skills like reflecting feelings, setting limits, giving choices, and using encouragement are certainly valuable, we can't lose sight of why we use those approaches in the first place.
It all comes back to preserving and strengthening our relationship with our kids. Every time a child is struggling or misbehaving, there is almost always a fracture or damage to the relationship that has occurred. By focusing on the child and the relationship rather than just on the frustrating behavior, we keep that relationship at the center. The beauty of parenting is we have a built-in relationship with our child from the very beginning. Our job is to maintain and nurture that precious bond, and child-centered parenting principles give us effective tools to do just that.
The goal is not to robotically check skills off a list, but to deeply, intentionally and thoughtfully engage with our children in ways that communicate "I'm here, I hear you, I understand, I care, and I delight in you." This is what it means to take a kind approach to parenting. I hope this discussion encourages you and keeps you grounded in what matters most - your relationship with your kids.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In today's episode, I discuss the importance of encouragement and how it differs from praise when it comes to parenting. Encouragement is all about focusing on your child's efforts and contributions, rather than giving value-laden words that have opposites, like "good" or "awesome." When you encourage your child by starting with "you" and acknowledging their perseverance, problem-solving skills, or willingness to take on challenges, you help them develop a healthy self-concept and sense of identity. This empowers them and reduces power struggles, as they feel a measure of control over their circumstances. I encourage you to challenge yourself this week to use encouragement every time your child does something, as they will provide you with plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the day.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In this episode, I address a listener's question about gentle parenting and whether it has gone too far. I discuss the principles of gentle parenting and contrast them with the child-centered approach, highlighting the importance of setting appropriate limits and boundaries while maintaining a kind, respectful, and relational dynamic with your child.
I explain that while gentle parenting aims to build a healthy bond and meet a child's needs, it often lacks a comprehensive framework for effective discipline. The child-centered approach, on the other hand, is highlighted by a well-researched framework of interacting with children, and empowers them to make choices within clearly defined limits, fostering self-control and responsibility.
I emphasize that the child-centered method is indeed gentle, as it prioritizes preserving the parent-child relationship through understanding, kindness, and respect. By using the four pillars of play therapy, parents can remain in control of their emotions, honor their child's uniqueness, and respond appropriately to their child's emotional state, all while establishing boundaries and expectations.
Ultimately, I encourage parents to embrace the child-centered approach as a more effective and complete system for achieving the desired outcomes of gentle parenting.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're diving into the practical application of the "limit setting" pillar in daily parenting. Now that we’ve covered the four foundational pillars, it’s time to see how we can apply these skills in everyday interactions with our kids. Limit setting is unique in that it combines the other pillars—reflecting feelings and giving choices—making it a nuanced yet powerful tool for effective discipline.
I explore how limit setting can be used proactively to address daily struggles, such as managing snack times, bedtime routines, or sibling conflicts. It's about offering healthy alternatives to empower our children while setting boundaries that maintain their well-being.
Finally, I emphasize the importance of consistent follow-through with limits. Children learn to take responsibility for their actions when we clearly communicate choices and their consequences. It's about empowering our kids to make their own decisions and take ownership of their behavior.
I'd love to hear your thoughts or any questions you might have. Feel free to email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com or leave a message at (813) 812-5525. Also, don't forget to visit playtherapyparenting.com to sign up for my newsletter and receive a free workshop. I'm grateful for your commitment to your kids, and I'm here to help you along the journey. Let's keep practicing limit setting together!
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode, I discuss how to practically apply the "choice-giving" pillar from the child-centered play therapy parenting framework. I cover two types of choices to give your kids:
Empowerment Choices
- Give your kids choices just for the sake of letting them feel empowered and in control
- Examples: Let them choose how to get to the car (hold your hand or push the cart), what to eat/drink, what to wear, where to sit in the car, what music to listen to, etc.
- This gives your kids a measure of control within your set boundaries
Enforcement Choices
- Give choices tied to reinforcing a limit you've set
- Map the choices to your child's original desire/want
- Example: If they want to play before dinner, the choices could be to play with friends after dinner or watch TV after dinner
I emphasize using the word "choose" multiple times when offering choices to make it clear the child has the power to decide. Giving choices reduces power struggles, builds self-confidence, and helps kids practice decision-making skills.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode, we explore the practical aspects of Reflecting Feelings, focusing on how this essential skill can be effectively used in daily interactions with children. Our goal is to demystify the process and encourage more confident and consistent application in your parenting.
Key Points Covered:
Understanding Reflecting Feelings: An overview of why this skill is fundamental yet challenging, emphasizing its importance in validating children’s emotions.
Practical Application: Step-by-step guidance on how to reflect feelings accurately, from recognizing nonverbal cues to matching your verbal responses with your child's emotional states.
Real-Life Scenarios: Examples of how to apply the Reflecting Feelings skill throughout the day, from positive expressions like joy and pride to handling negative emotions like disappointment and frustration.
We delve into how consistent practice of this skill helps build a stronger, more empathetic connection with your child, enabling them to feel heard and understood. This connection is crucial for their emotional development and can significantly enhance your effectiveness as a parent.
Call to Action:
This week, I challenge you to consciously practice reflecting feelings with your children. Notice the multitude of opportunities you have to engage this skill, and observe the positive impact it has on your interactions.
For more insights and to continue this conversation, don’t hesitate to reach out via email at brenna@thekidcounselor.com or leave a message at (813) 812-5525. Your feedback and questions are invaluable, and they help us shape future content that meets your needs.
Remember, the journey to calm, confident, and in-control parenting continues with each skill we master. Let's keep learning and growing together. Thank you for joining me today, and I look forward to our next session!
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode, I address a question submitted by a therapist on behalf of a concerned parent. The parent has a 6-year-old girl who is grappling with body image issues. As this little girl expresses concerns about her tummy being "fat" and worries that other kids are judging her, her mother fears she may be using food to soothe her big emotions. These behaviors are merely cues, signaling deeper underlying issues that need to be addressed. More often than not, a child's fixation on food, sleep, or obedience stems from a profound need for control or a manifestation of high anxiety levels. Through the lens of child-centered play therapy, we can unravel the root causes and provide lasting solutions. By reflecting her feelings, giving her choices, and fostering her self-esteem through encouragement, we empower this young girl to develop an emotional vocabulary, self-regulation, and a healthy sense of self-worth – the very tools she needs to overcome her body image struggles. Remember, the behavior itself is not the problem; it's a window into her internal world. As we guide her through this journey, she'll naturally internalize self-acceptance, regardless of her physical appearance. The path to healing lies in addressing the core emotional needs, not just the surface symptoms. With patience, empathy, and a child-centered approach, she can develop resilience and confidence. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
I can't emphasize enough the profound impact of encouragement on a child's self-esteem, self-worth, and overall development. Unlike the other pillars we've discussed, encouragement stands alone as a powerful tool that shapes a child's understanding of their identity, capabilities, and innate value. In this episode, we delve deep into the crucial distinction between praise and encouragement. Praise, although well-intentioned, often includes value judgments that inadvertently make children dependent on external validation. On the other hand, encouragement focuses solely on the child's efforts and contributions, fostering an internal locus of control – a sense of motivation that comes from within. I challenge you to become more aware of when you slip into praising your child and consciously pivot to encouragement instead. Start your sentences with "you" – "You worked really hard on that!" or "You used so many colors in your painting!" This simple shift empowers your child to celebrate their efforts, embrace challenges, and find fulfillment in their own accomplishments, regardless of the outcome. Remember, self-esteem is the foundation for almost all positive change in a child. When we encourage our children, we nurture their confidence, resilience, and belief in themselves. This, in turn, transforms their interactions, relationships, and overall behavior in self-enhancing ways. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode, I answer a question from Hayley in Australia, dealing with a common issue many parents face: sibling conflict. Hayley has been diligently applying the principles we discuss here, such as getting down to her children's level, validating their feelings, and setting limits, yet she’s not seeing the positive changes she hoped for, especially when it comes to her children hitting each other. I address the importance of neutral phrasing in limit setting, the impact of birth order on sibling dynamics, and the necessity of providing alternative choices to undesirable behavior. I also touch on the significance of keeping our interventions brief and to the point, as our children’s attention spans are limited. If you're grappling with similar challenges or have any questions about parenting, I encourage you to reach out to me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com or leave a voice message at (813) 812-5525. Also, remember to subscribe to our newsletter at www.playtherapyparenting.com for more insights and resources. If you subscribe today, I'll send you a video of a workshop I conducted on Birth Order... a topic I discussed in today's podcast! This episode is a testament to the complexities of parenting and understanding and responding to our children’s needs. Thank you, Hayley, for your vulnerability and for allowing us to learn from your experiences. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we continue our journey through the four pillars of child-centered play therapy. Having covered reflecting feelings and choice giving, we now explore the third pillar, limit setting. Limit setting is essential in teaching children how to understand and respect boundaries. It's a skill that combines the empathy and understanding we've discussed with clear, consistent guidelines. I give practical strategies for implementing limit setting in a way that supports your child's emotional and behavioral development. If you have a question about limit setting, or any other parenting topic, feel free to reach out to me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com or leave a voice message at (813) 812-5525. Stay tuned for more insights and remember to subscribe to our newsletter for additional resources at www.playtherapyparenting.com. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I address a heartfelt question from Corinne about how to navigate conversations with her five-year-old son regarding his grandmother's ALS diagnosis. Corinne's concern resonates with many parents who grapple with discussing difficult topics with their children. I emphasize the importance of sharing age-appropriate truth with kids, providing simple explanations in response to their questions, and being prepared for future discussions as their understanding evolves. By focusing on alleviating confusion and unknowns, we can support our children through challenging times while nurturing our relationships with them. Join me as I offer practical advice and encouragement to Corinne and parents facing similar situations. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're exploring choice giving. Choice giving empowers children by offering them opportunities to make decisions and exercise control in their lives. By providing choices within established boundaries, parents can help children develop decision-making skills, reduce power struggles, and foster a sense of ownership over outcomes. I emphasize the importance of setting mutually agreeable parameters for choices and I explain practical examples, such as allowing children to choose their lunch fruit or the timing of their bath. Through consistent implementation of choice giving, parents can create a healthy dynamic with their children, build their decision-making abilities, and minimize conflicts. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I discuss a common parenting challenge: how to handle big emotions in kids, especially when they're directed at siblings. I relate a scenario shared by Heather from Florida, who struggles with regulating her own emotions while helping her three boys navigate theirs. I discuss the importance of reflecting feelings and understanding the underlying causes of behavior, such as feelings of powerlessness. Also, I give some strategies, such as choice-giving and limit-setting to address these situations. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're diving into the first pillar of child-centered play therapy, which is reflecting feelings. This foundational skill is all about acknowledging and validating our children's emotions. Remembering that kids aren't rational beings, we have to meet them in their emotional world rather than expecting them to understand ours. By reflecting their feelings, we help them build an emotional vocabulary and effectively communicate their needs, instead of acting out their needs via unacceptable behavior. Through simple steps like starting with "you" and accurately identifying their emotions, we can make a big difference in our children's emotional development. I challenge you to try reflecting your child's feelings at least once a day this week and see the impact it has on your relationship. Don't worry if it doesn't go perfectly at first, just keep practicing. Feel free to reach out to me with any questions or scenarios you'd like advice on, and don't forget to sign up for my newsletter at www.playtherapyparenting.com for more helpful content. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
I'm thrilled to be back on the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast after taking a little break. So, welcome to Season Two! During my hiatus, I've been busy launching training programs for clinicians and welcoming a new therapist at my center. Now, I'm excited to share some changes with you. In this episode, I announce a new direction for the podcast: it will be more curriculum-driven, offering you a "master class" in parenting based in child-centered play therapy. Today, I want to talk about the most fundamental concept in parenting: the understanding that kids aren't rational. It's crucial for us, as parents, to meet our children where they are emotionally and recognize that their feelings, not their brains often drive their behavior! By embracing this perspective, we can transform our interactions with our kids and build stronger, more empathetic relationships. I'm also considering adding a new Q&A segment based on your questions and scenarios, so feel free to reach out with any parenting dilemmas you'd like me to address. brenna@thekidcounselor.com or call (813) 812-5525 to leave a voicemail. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I explore the analogy of a compass and how it relates to parenting. I delve into the fact that a compass doesn't actually point to True North, contrary to popular belief. This realization led me to reflect on the parenting journey, highlighting the freedom found in acknowledging that, just like a compass, we may not always be heading in the "perfect" direction. I emphasize the importance of understanding that parenting isn't about attaining perfection but about navigating with intention and the right tools. I encourage listeners to embrace mistakes, take responsibility, and apologize when needed, as it not only sets an example for children but also frees us from the unrealistic pressure of being flawless parents. By framing parenting through the lens of intentional direction rather than the pursuit of perfection, it's okay not to have a fixed, unwavering path. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I explore the profound meaning behind a Winston Churchill quote and its application to parenting. I delve into the concept of absolute truth, drawing parallels between the quote and the truths we encounter in parenting. I highlight three incontrovertible truths: Parenthood is a conscious choice and responsibility. When we decide to have children, we inherently accept the duty to parent them well. It's vital to shift the mindset from viewing children as burdens to understanding that parenting is a fulfilling obligation. Children require specific elements from parents—kindness, patience, consistency, and modeling behavior. I stress the significance of parents demonstrating the behaviors and traits they wish to instill in their children, establishing mutual trust as the foundation of a healthy relationship. Acknowledging personal faults and aiming to surpass generational patterns is crucial. I encourage listeners to evolve, improve, and be intentional about becoming better parents than previous generations, highlighting the importance of continual learning and growth. Even amid challenges, parenting remains a gift. I urge you to embrace gratitude for the opportunity to nurture and guide your children. The commitment to evolving as parents ultimately shapes not just our children's lives but generations to come. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I take a deep dive into praise vs encouragement from a child-centered play therapy standpoint. Building upon the previous episode's overview, I recount a conversation with a house parent at the Hope Children's Home who raised a question about a parenting approach he overheard. The person avoids telling his kids he's proud of them, opting for "what you did just brought me great joy" instead. While the intention is to encourage emotional maturity and other orientation, I explore why this statement falls into the category of "pseudo praise". I explain the importance of fostering an internal locus of control in children, emphasizing the dangers of external validation dependence. Drawing on research, including a longitudinal study, I underscore the long-term positive effects of encouragement over praise. I challenge listeners to break away from the pervasive praise model and become the antidote to the praise epidemic. Throughout the episode, I stress the significance of using encouragement consistently and provide practical insights for implementing child-centered play therapy parenting. Tune in for a deep dive into the power of encouragement and its role in raising resilient, internally motivated children. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we get "back to basics" of the Play Therapy Parenting model. I've shared an extensive range of insights over the last 124 episodes and as more listeners join the podcast family, I thought it was time to reflect on the basics. Recently, I had the privilege of conducting a 7-hour training of the house parents and staff at Hope Children's Home (https://hopechildrenshome.org/), a remarkable foster care agency. The experience inspired me to reflect on the foundations of my approach and the child-centered play therapy model. This episode takes a deep dive into critical concepts. Kids aren't rational—they're driven by emotions, not cognitive reasoning. Understanding this shapes the approach to interactions. It's about reflecting feelings, offering choices, setting limits, and providing encouragement. The goal is always preserving a healthy relationship with our kids. If you're catching this for the first time or need a refresher, these principles are pivotal. They create a framework to interact with our children effectively. Remember, the relationship with our kids stands above all else. In case you'd like to get in touch, feel free to reach out at brenna@thekidcounselor.com. I'm here to support you. Mentioned in this episode: * Hope Children's Home - https://hopechildrenshome.org/ * Rules of Thumb all come from Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents by Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006)
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
I frequently hear from parents something along the line of "My kid is so manipulative!" I'd like to challenge the notion that kids are manipulating parents and others around them and give you a new perspective and re-frame for you what exactly kids are doing that parents interpret as being manipulative. In this episode of the podcast, I discuss the following topics: * The concept of abstract reasoning * Organic, natural cause of "manipulation" * Kids don't have alternatives when they are stuck in a pattern of behavior
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Listener Stephanie emailed me with a follow-up question to my episode titled: "'I Hate My Life!' – What To Do When Your Child Says This, Or Other Shocking Things" and described a few situations where her 7-year-old son reacts with shocking responses, but the reflecting feelings process didn't work as expected. In this episode, I give Stephanie some follow-up advice on using the reflecting feelings skill with some advanced tips to help when it feels like reflecting feelings isn't working. * The depth of the feeling impacts the recovery. The larger the emotion, the more time it may take for feeling reflection to take effect. It's not an instant fix. * Enlarge the meaning * You always reflect on the new feeling that was most recently expressed * Bonus tip: Provide alternatives (later)
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
A listener to the podcast emailed me a question regarding explaining dating and remarriage to young children. In this episode, I discuss the related topics related to this matter. * Age appropriate truth * Neutral discussions without emotion * Setting expectations
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Listeners Dan and Clay emailed me similar questions regarding "roadblocks" in the choice-giving process. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: * The purpose behind why we give choices * Hindrances to the choice-giving process (congruence, choices given only in negative situations, understanding the "why") * Kids need opportunities to practice receiving choices
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"Only acts of war and the events of natural disasters are more harmful to a child's psyche than the divorce process" - American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 1997 In this episode, I'm going to talk about the following topics from a child's perspective: * Change * The emotional processing of a divorce vs the rational side * Trust, safety, and security
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
"When I look back, knowing what I know now, there were signs..." In this special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I had the privilege to interview Jason Reid, founder of Tell My Story (www.tellmystory.org) and Choose Life (www.chooselife.org). May is Mental Health Awareness month, and Jason, who lost his 14-year-old son to suicide, is determined to reach every parent and every family about the conversation they need to have with their kids. Jason's mission has enlarged from informing parents about the signs of suicide in kids, to overall mental health awareness in kids and adults. Visit Jason's organizations: Tell My Story - https://tellmystory.org/ Choose Life - https://www.chooselife.org/ Songs for the Drive Home: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLl9DqLcFH-0J_xyePQGp-CSfKGXJFSyTW Tell My Story documentary trailer: https://wellbeings.org/films/tell-my-story/ Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
As parents, we want the best for our children. However, in today's world, we are faced with new challenges when it comes to our children's mental health. The news is flooded with child mental health crises, and a recent survey found that child mental health is the #1 concern among parents right now. In this episode, I dive deep into this important topic and share practical tips that can help. We know how tough it can be to assess our children's mental well-being, primarily when they cannot communicate their feelings. That's why we discuss how to identify signs of stress or anxiety and offer insights into what we can do to support our children through these challenges. We also explore the academic pressure children face and its impact on their mental health. It's understood that you want your child to succeed, but we also know how important it is to prioritize their mental well-being. I offer advice on supporting your child academically while creating a balanced and healthy environment at home. Finally, we discuss the impact of busy schedules on our children's well-being. We know how easy it is to get caught up in a hectic routine, but we also know that a healthy schedule is critical to our children's mental health. We provide practical tips for creating a balanced schedule that supports your child's mental health and overall well-being. The three topics I discuss in this episode are: * We need to understand how to asses our children's mental well-being * We need to address the academic pressures * We need to consider our children's schedules
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
In this episode, I want to bring us back to the most foundational aspect of parenting... the relationship. Using the 4 Pillars of Play Therapy skills is the best way to preserve your relationship with your child when you have to discipline, or when you are trying to encourage self-esteem, self-regulation, and self-reliance. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
In this episode of the podcast I wanted to talk about encouragement and self-fulfilling prophecy. I recently wrote a quote into my quote book that was the inspiration for this episode. It goes like this: The friend said, "Elsa, You have a wrong picture of yourself." Elsa replied, "Even if that is true, what does a person do about it? The things your parents say to you, and the things your husband doesn't say to you, become a mirror, don't they? You see yourself as they see you, and no matter how far you come, you bring that mirror with you." Based on that quote, I want to talk about the following topics: * The concept of "looking glass self" * Verbal and non-verbal self-concept, and how we develop our identity based on both * The empowerment process, and how encouragement plays a part
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Friluftsliv is a Norwegian word that roughly translates to "open-air living." Norway recently topped a survey of countries that rated its people on happiness, life satisfaction, nutrition, and health. Friluftsliv is often sited as the reason, and I tie this Norweigian philosophy to play therapy principles. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: * Happiness, life satisfaction, nutrition, and health * Helicopter parenting vs trial-and-error parenting * Enjoyment and self-improvement
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
As parents, we all want our children to believe in themselves with confidence. But sometimes, even when we continue to reassure them, they lack the self-trust to tackle hard tasks or prove that they are capable. I got an email from a pitching coach (my son is a pitcher) discussing his take on what builds confidence in kids. He thinks that confidence comes from evidence of improvement, which aligns well with the play therapy philosophy. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: * Battle between the head and heart * The identity the child is working to establish * What is the process of confidence coming from evidence
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
In this episode, I discuss the dangerous intersection of social media and drug culture. Snapchat and Instagram are the two most common platforms for advertising and selling drugs. According to recent statistics, the overdose mortality rate for teenagers increased by 94% from 2019 to 2020, with at least one in four teens acknowledging that they have seen drugs advertised and sold on social media. We must be informed parents and vigilant in monitoring our children's social media activity to prevent them from falling victim to the underground drug world. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * Teens are using emoji and secret lingo to find illegal drugs. How parents can crack the code
One of the parents at my center sent me an article by Deborah Farmer Kris titled: "Your middle school child is the most amazing person." I loved this author's perspective on middle schoolers and wanted to give a play therapy perspective. The author makes four points in the article that I add play therapy-based insight on: * Middle schoolers are a jumble of contradictions * Let your face light up * Don't take their outbursts personally * Remember that your child is listening
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * Your middle school child is the most amazing person
In this episode, I answer the most asked question at my counseling center... "How do I deal with timesharing". In it, I provide practical advice and strategies for co-parenting well in a timeshare situation, focusing on creating a stable, predictable routine for the child, finding the right balance between structure and flexibility, and prioritizing the child's well-being. Specific topics I discuss are: * Co-parenting well in a timeshare situation * Length of time between changes * Having flexibility for the child's benefit
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
In this episode, we receive an email from Mike, a loving father who feels disconnected from his 9-year-old daughter. Mike has been listening to the podcast and feels that he may have contributed to his daughter's recent struggles with anger, negative self-esteem, and problems with her friends. I think everything points to a relationship fracture. So I talk about that and what to do. Mike also asks me "Can I fix it?" and the answer is yes, absolutely. Finally, I talk about his daughter's big emotions Please check the links below, as I've linked to other podcasts that will give you more understanding and explain some of the techniques I talk about. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * The Dad Episode! – 4 Tips For Dads Implementing Play Therapy Skills. * A “Revolutionary” Thing: Empathizing And Listening To Your Kids – A Dad’s Story * The Importance of Learning to “BE” With Your Kid * The Four “Pillars” of Play Therapy * Overview Of Reflective Responding * Reflective Responding In Play Therapy
I was struck by a story I read the other day about a teen who was heavily addicted to social media, and he went on a complete, cold-turkey detox away from social media. In this episode, I talk about the following topics: * The story of an addicted teen * The addictive nature of social media * What a complete detox is like and the results
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
In a recent Pew Research survey, mental health emerged as the top concern for parents regarding their children. This was a little surprising to me, considering all the other issues that face parents and kids, such as drugs, alcohol, teenage pregnancy, getting in trouble with the law, and bullying. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: * The list of concerns, and why mental health tops this list * The concern about the suicide rates of kids * How social media correlates with the decline in mental health * What steps we can take as parents to protect our kids
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
One of the podcast listeners, Josh, emailed me and asked how to best connect with their baby. Play therapy principles still apply in relationship building with babies and infants! So in this episode, I'll go into how to connect and bond with your infant in three ways: Physical, Emotional, and Engagement. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
As a child therapist, I'm on the front lines of the damage that devices and social media are doing to our kids. The worst of all, in my opinion, is TikTok. There is nothing redeemable about TikTok, especially in light of what it's doing to our teens and young adults. In this episode, I talk about the following topics related to TikTok: * The fact that China owns TikTok and what that means * The dangerous content for kids * The warnings that are coming out about TikTok
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
In this episode, I discuss the following topics: * Three types of consequences: Natural, Related, and Unrelated consequences * What changes behavior in children * The goal of discipline
In this episode of the podcast, we will be exploring the often-controversial topic of spanking, by way of a viral video that I saw this week highlighting the ways in which some parents use excuses to justify their use of physical discipline. We will delve into the ways in which these justifications are often flawed, and how they can be harmful to children. We will also explore alternative methods of discipline that are more effective and less harmful to children. Whether you are a parent, a teacher, or simply interested in the topic, this episode will provide valuable insights into the debate surrounding spanking and the ways in which we can move beyond physical discipline in favor of more positive and effective approaches to parenting. Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
"Every day, in a hundred small ways, our children ask us...Do you hear me? Do you see me? Do I matter? And their behavior often reflects our response." This is a powerful quote by L.R. Knost that perfectly describes play therapy and what I'm trying to communicate on this podcast. In this episode, I'm discussing the following topics: * The "Be with" attitudes * The Behavior Spectrum * Labels that we put on our children's behavior
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Baker Acts (involuntary commission to a mental health facility) are on the rise, and there are many things that parents don't know. In this episode, I discuss the following topics: * What you should know about the process at the Baker Act facility * What you should know about psychiatrists prescribing medication * Ways to advocate for your child as a parent so you don't get taken advantage of
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
I had a personal reminder the other day about how being outside promotes restorative sleep. So I tell that story in this episode, and then I relate it to how much kids are affected by simply getting some outdoor time, and how that helps the deep sleep cycle. All of this, in turn, affects everything about kids... their behavior, mood, emotional well-being, etc. Topics in this episode: * Importance of deep, restorative sleep and how to make sure your kids are sleeping well * Benefits of outdoor activities * Consistent physical activity
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
We did it! In this 100th episode of the Play Therapy Parenting podcast, I take a look back (all the way to 2006!), and a look forward and where I'm going with everything. In this episode I talk about the following topics: * The 4 most important lessons from the first 100 episodes of this podcast * Where we are going * Why I do this podcast and what is the purpose
This is a special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting podcast. I was invited to speak at a "Parent Huddle" at Discovery Church in Orlando, FL on the topic of kids and screens. I was given permission to record this talk so that I could share this with my podcast family, so I hope you enjoy this special episode!
It might seem backwards to think that kids treat the people the worst, that love and accept them the most. However, most times this is true of our kids. It shouldn't surprise you that your kids, to various degrees, "keep it together" during the day, and then when they get home to you, they lose it. This is normal and expected behavior, and when you understand the "why" behind it, you'll have a whole new perspective on your kid's behavior. In this episode, I dive into the following topics: * Unconditional love and acceptance * "Be a thermostat, not a thermometer" * Behavior reflection and their internal state
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Acclaimed writer Stephen Covey said "Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change." In this episode, I apply this quote to children and parenting. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Hang on! This is a deep dive into how your child's brain works, and I'll explain why they sometimes act the way that they do. This episode was inspired after I read an article on Brain Harmony and I noticed a diagram representing a pyramidal hierarchy of child development. I noticed that this pyramid closely mapped to a set of "layers" common to play therapy. In this episode, I go over both hierarchies, how prioritization plays a role, and then I explain the 4-step model and how it maps to play therapy. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
I heard a quote once that "The good things parents do in excess, kids do in moderation. And the bad things parents do in moderation, kids do in excess." In this episode, I cover: * Modeled learning nature of children * Natural nature of children pushing boundaries and limits * Our frustrations with children are mirrors into our behaviors
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
I recently got an email from Dan. Dan has been listening to the podcast and is in the "Play Therapy Parenting Family". He has been using play therapy skills and knows the "4 Pillars" of play therapy. However, Dan has challenges dealing with his kid's defiance. Dan responds with play therapy skills, but struggles implementing them. Dan asked me if I would do an episode just for Dads! So here are 4 challenges that Dads face, and I discuss and give tips for each of them. * Dads are wired to be problem solvers * Dads brains tend to be logical and rational * Vulnerability and empathy are difficult for Dads * Dads tend to have a need for control
In this episode, I talk through what to do when your children do not respond to play therapy skills. A Mom from Utah emailed me with some frustrations implementing the 4 Pillars and asked for my thoughts. I got permission to share her situation in this episode and we go through each of the points in detail. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * Play Therapy Fundamentals
A wonderful validation of what I teach parents happened to me on vacation a few weeks ago. One of the tips in the 10-week parent coaching program that I teach is to get on a kids eye level. So I did that to a kid in line at a McDonalds and you'll never believe what happened! In this episode of the podcast, I explain why being on eye level when interacting with kids is so important, how it removes the "power differential", and I talk about the connection that is formed when you get on eye level. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * Rules of Thumb Episodes
In this episode I talk through baby jealousy when a new baby is introduced to the family. These concepts also apply to other situations when a new family member is added, such as step-children, etc. But new babies are the most common situation when baby jealousy upsets the family and children dynamic. Three topics I discuss are: Dethroning, Understanding the age gap, and What to do about baby jealousy. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
We get it wrong when we interact with teens and pre-teens. At least, that was the main point of an interesting article I read this week. In this episode, I talk about how adolescence changes the dynamics of the family, and how we can make changes to the way we interact with our teens and pre-teens to maintain the relationship and connection we crave with them. My three main points in this podcast are: * The fear of getting "shut out" is the root of ineffective interactions with teens. * Stop asking questions. * We forget and don't give kids credit for their capabilities and what they can handle.
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * 4 Pillars of Play Therapy * Self-Fulfilling Prophecy * Goodness of Kids
Most parents are stuck in a "prison". I've called it the "Parenting Prison". In this episode, I'm going to tell you what the Parenting Prison is, and how to get out of it. I'll also touch on repeating familial cycles of parenting. We often parent the way we were parented (or the opposite)! I'll briefly go over several common parenting styles, and why they are all ineffective. And finally I'll discuss the #1 reason parenting responses are ineffective, and what you can do about it. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * Why Reasoning Doesn’t Work with Kids * Stop trying to reason and rationalize with your child! * Why Reflecting Feelings Works (even on adults!) * 4 Pillars of Play Therapy * The “4 Pillars of Play Therapy” – A training presentation I gave to the 300 school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System in the Tampa, FL area.
I came across a quote from a book that inspired this episode... "Although she hadn't seen her parents for years, it turned out that a parent's disapproval is a powerful lingering voice that shaped and defined one's self-image". So in this episode, I discuss parental disapproval, and what a child does when they experience that. I discuss unconditional love and acceptance, which is a play therapy principle. And finally the power we have as parents in a child's life Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * Does Your Child Have At Least One Adult Who Has An Irrational, Emotional Relationship With Them?
Over the weekend, I saw a disturbing scene play out while we were at a bowling ally, and it was a perfect example of what I call negative behavior reinforcement using devices. So in this episode, I share that story, then I explain the reasoning behind why negative behavior is reinforced with device use. As a bonus, I go into the addictive nature of screens from a neurobiology perspective. And finally, I share some listener feedback. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * Kids Bowl Free - www.kidsbowlfree.com * Device Detox - www.devicedetoxbook.com
In this episode, I catch you up on, and celebrate some of the things I've been involved in lately, and then I celebrate an email that I got from a Mom... She wrote me an email and it touched my heart, so I asked her if I could share it. I celebrate all of the emails and feedback that I get from you and I want you to know that I read them all and respond to all of them. So thank you for the feedback you give me and I can't express enough how much I enjoy sharing with you each week. Please email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com with more questions and feedback. And don't forget to celebrate the relationships in your life. We have a lot to be thankful for... you don't have to look very hard to find relationships to celebrate. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
"The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results" - James Dean I stumbled on this quote this week and added it to my "quote book", and I realized how this ties into the play therapy concept of encouragement perfectly! In today's episode I discuss the following topics: * The difference between praise vs. encouragement * The use of esteem-building responses * Focusing on the effort, not the outcome
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * Praise vs. Encouragement * “Encourage The Effort Rather Than Praise The Product” * The "4 Pillars" of Play Therapy
In this episode, I help a Mom that emailed me asking for help with her 15 year old son. Based on her email and my clarifying questions that she answered, I summarized many of the issues she's having into 4 areas. First, I discuss my "Parenting Prison" theory, and how we can escape from parenting the way we were parented. Second, I talk about how to get kids "un-stuck". Third, I assure this Mom that it's never too late to work on the relationship. And finally, I talk about how screens are likely affecting the child's behavior. And to help her out, as a thank you for allowing me to share her email on the podcast, I'll be sending her a link to get ALL of my online courses for free to help her build the relationship with her son. If you email me a question to brenna@thekidcounselor.com, and I use your question in the episode, I'll send you the free link to all my online courses as well. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: * What a child believes is more important that what a child knows * The Parenting Prison * 4 Pillars of Play Therapy * Birth Order * Be With Attitudes * Reflecting Feelings * Device Detox
"To develop normally, a child requires a relationship with at least one adult who has an irrational, emotional relationship with the child" - Urie Bronfenbrenner In this episode, I discuss how the development of kids is influenced by the relationships that they have, the power of acceptance of children, and the power of relationship with kids and why it's so important. * Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ * My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ * My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ * Device Detox: https://devicedetoxbook.com
Links from this episode: * 4 Pillars of Play Therapy episode
Empathy is learned. Kids aren't born with it, and they mainly learn it by observing adults displaying empathy. We want our kids to show empathy when it's appropriate. Being kind and compassionate to others is a good character trait. In this episode, I talk about how kids develop empathy, how abstract reasoning plays into empathy development, and I explain a psychology term called "other orientation". * Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ * My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ * My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
Links from this episode: * Love for our Elders: https://loveforourelders.org/
I was listening to a business podcast this week, and a successful Mom/CEO said this quote when asked how she overcomes "Mom Guilt" as she runs a multi-million dollar business, while juggling being a mom. She said "Kids don't count the hours that you're with them, but they do notice if you're present." And the truth of that quote jumped out at me, and made me take notice. I immediately related it to the Play Therapy principles, called the "Be With Attitudes," that I teach in my private parent coaching course. So I wanted to share with you some practical tips, that you can put into practice immediately, that will help you become fully present with your kids during the time you spend with them. You no longer have to feel any guilt as a mom, parent, or caregiver because your child will get intentional, quality, meaningful time with you.
Have you ever told your child something about them that you know to be true, but they just don't believe it themselves? They could be smart, athletic, funny, etc. But they may have something emotional happening that makes them believe otherwise. In this episode I share some advice about children that was given to me years ago, but impacts what I believe about kids to this day. Three points I make in this episode are: * What we tell them might be true, but doesn't make it true for them * The difference between the cognitive and emotional * A child's view of "self" has to be developed internally
Links from this episode: * Gabb Wireless, safe phone for kids, Spring Promo. Use promo code "PLAY" https://playtherapyparenting.com/gabb
Do you often find yourself having to "step in" to control your child's behavior? In today's episode, I'm going to try to change your thinking about discipline. The goal of discipline is "self-regulation" on the part of the child. Otherwise, some children "keep pushing" until someone regulates for them. Wouldn't it be better if your child learned to self-regulate, instead of you having to regulate for them? This has dramatic implications into adulthood also. Finally, I talk about patience in parenting. We have to give time for the child to self-control, but we often don't give the child enough time. So I give you some advice on that as well.
When parents realize that kids need a different type of communication, it changes the way you interact with them. I discuss three sub-topics: kids are emotional, they do not have abstract reasoning skills yet, and how concrete "parameters" within conversations are developmentally appropriate, and will pull more than one-word answers out of your kids.
This episode continues my parenting "Rules of thumb" series, which comes from the In-Home Play Therapy training that we conduct through The Kid Counselor Center. "When you focus on the problem, you lose sight of the child" is an important guideline to remember when dealing with parenting moments. We'll talk about how the "quick fix mentality" is not the best way to view solutions to parenting issues. I also discuss the following topics... negative vs positive framing, victim vs victor mentality, and focusing on the issue instead of the relationship.
Have you heard the (true) story of the little girl that went out every morning to get the mail, and the mailman greeted her with "Hello, Miss America!" She ended up winning the Miss America pageant. We don't understand the power that words, phrases, and expressions have on people's lives unless we understand the "magic" of self-fulfilling prophecy. This is especially true of how it affects kids... in the positive AND negative! In this episode, I talk about the internal and external labels that influence self-fulfilling prophecy. Next I cover self-dialogue, and how it influences behavior. Finally, I explore how subtle expressions can influence kids, and we might not realize that it's happening.
In this episode, a research study referenced on psypost.org caught my eye and I wanted to share it and talk about how it reflects what I see in the playroom at my practice and my interaction with parents. In the research they make three points. First that executive functioning is compromised. I explain what that means and how it affects kids. Next, how parental responsiveness influences outcomes. Finally, how academic success is affected. Links from this episode: * Chaotic households undermine children’s development of executive functioning through less responsive parenting
In thinking about New Year's changes, or things you want to change in this upcoming year, I want to caution you about changing too much at once! "Don't Try To Change Everything At Once" is another episode in my "Rules of Thumb" series from the training I conduct called Child Parent Relationship Therapy. When thinking about change in parenting or families, I often illustrate this concept using the "scales of justice". So I'll share that concept in this episode. I also talk about the "hierarchy" of change. Finally, I'll share some tips to set yourself up for success.
Stop beating yourself up over things that you don't know! In this episode, I go over a concept that I call the "Parenting Prison". I'll explain what that is and how to get out. Next I discuss that there is no guilt or blame in not knowing something. Our parenting is often passed down through generational cycles, so I discuss how this relates to the Parenting Prison. Finally, there is freedom in the acquisition of knowledge. Learning how to parent better is a liberating experience for you and your whole family.
I read an article that reinforces, from a medical standpoint, that social media is really harmful for our kids. A callout from the article: "Turns out the poorly regulated, 24-hour content mill of being Extremely Online is really threatening to our mental health!" I already knew this, but what is alarming is that the influences are going beyond mental health... social media (and this case, specifically TikTok videos) are affecting kids from a medical/physical standpoint. Links from this episode: * https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tanyachen/young-women-reporting-concerning-behavioral-changes-from * https://www.wsj.com/articles/teen-girls-are-developing-tics-doctors-say-tiktok-could-be-a-factor-11634389201
If you're like me and your child is begging you for a phone, but there's no way you are going to let them have an internet-connected phone, I have a compromise between you and your kids! It's called Gabb Wireless. It's essentially a "dumb" phone (that isn't a flip phone). It looks like a smart phone, but it does not have internet-connected apps. You can call, text, and take photos/videos, and not much more! My listeners can get 50% off a Gabb phone or watch by Dec. 15th if you click on the following link. https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/play or use the promo code PLAY at checkout. Stay in contact with your kids without worrying about them being on the internet unsupervised. Get a Gabb phone or watch today!
Did you have to take a career class... in middle school? Did you learn pre-algebra... in 6th grade? In this episode, I'm exploring the question: Are schools pushing kids too far, too fast? First, I read a letter from my son's school that was the spark for this episode topic. Then I talk about what I'm calling the "separation of home and state". And finally, I end with a topic that I'm calling the "content push". After you listen to this episode, I'd love to hear from you.. if you agree, or disagree. Email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com.
Links from this episode:
- 3 Reasons Why We Chose To Homeschool (Probably Not The Reasons You’re Thinking)
In this episode, I'm diving into Birth Order, and how that affects your children's personalities. I'm going to spend a little time on only children, in particular, but I do give an overview of first, middle, and babies of the family, so this episode has some great content if you have any number of children! My three main topics in this podcast are: the universal norms of birth order, what role-reversals, hybrids, and blends looks like and how that affects a child's personality, and then we will look at the unique subset of only children.
Increased screen use in school, homework load, and lack of time to just play. We have always monitored our son's schooling, but this year, in his transition to middle-school, my husband and I were alarmed at how school was taking over our lives. I'm not trying to convince anyone to homeschool in this episode. There's important information in this podcast for all parents... homeschoolers, those thinking about homeschool, and those not ever going to homeschool! I just want you, as a concerned and involved parent, to consider these three factors and objectively assess how school is impacting your family. Links from this episode: * Finding A Balance Between Kids And Device Use * “Digital Pacifiers” – Why Screen Use Is Harming, And Ruining Our Relationships With Our Kids * Wake Up! Social Media is Ruining our Kids (TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, etc.) * Pediatricians should prescribe PLAY! (not meds)
Do you say "Good job"? "That's what happens when..."? "If you do that again..."? I found a parents.com blog post titled "10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids", and I compare several of the "things" in this post to my 2011 post titled "10 Things Not To Say To Your Kids". Links from this episode: * 10 Things Not to Say to Your Kids * The Four “Pillars” of Play Therapy
Have you ever second-guessed yourself as a parent? Do you ever feel like you are not as successful as you want to be in your parenting? In this episode we look at three common "red flags" that might make you think you're failing, but are actually an indicator of success!
Do you wonder if your parenting style is helpful or harmful to your children's long-term well being? In this episode, we look at the characteristics of the Authoritative Parenting Style, which is categorized by high levels of both demandingness and responsiveness. We discuss the characteristics of authoritative parenting, the outcomes it produces in children, and a contrast with the other parenting styles.
If you have a young child between, say, 5 and 11, you've probably heard something shocking come out of their mouth like "I hate my life", or "I wish I were never born". In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how most parents respond in one of three ways. Then I discuss how to discover the emotion behind what they are saying and why that is the most important step in dealing with this. Finally, I give you a play therapy based way to respond to this that diffuses the emotions and preserves the relationship with your child.
If you follow this podcast, you know that I teach fundamentals and foundational parenting skills from a play therapy perspective. I do like to keep my "finger on the pulse" of parenting, and I search what's going on in the parenting world every so often. For a long time I have noticed that the posts that get the most attention (or at least that are at the top of search results for parenting) are "tips" and "secrets" type information. A post from Lifehacker.com made it to the top of the search results titled "16 of Our Best Parenting Hacks of 2021 So Far". After I read this post, I was happy to notice that several of these "hacks" were rooted in play therapy principles and fundamental teaching! It's nice to see that you can "hack" your parenting with play therapy!!
In this episode, I discuss a story about a Dad that does something "revolutionary"... he tried something new to help his son's tantrums and meltdowns.
Are you concerned that your kids spend too much time on devices? Do you wonder if there's a happy medium between no enough and too much? In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss these questions, plus... The America Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guidelines for device usage by age, How to track how much device time your child is actually getting each day, and I give you a practical tool for you use that helps your kids "earn" screen time, and helps you balance how much time they are getting.
In this episode I talk about my own "Field of Dreams" story. If you know me well, you'd know that I'm a huge baseball fan, and recently, the "Field of Dreams" game was played between the Yankees and White Sox played on the corn field from the movie. It reminded me that I'm in my own "Build it and they will come" moment in my life and business.
This is a special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast. I was invited to give a training/presentation to the 300, or so, school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System on Play Therapy techniques. So during this hour training, they were exposed to the philosophies and principles of play therapy, the "4 Pillars of Play Therapy", and then some bonus topics, including the impact excessive device use is having on kids today. Finally, I channel my best "Oprah" and I give everyone special access to my COMPLETE training on the "4 Pillars" (because I can't make everyone an expert in only 1 hour). That FREE access to the "4 Pillars" training is available to you as well. Just go to www.thekidcounselor.com/4pillars and sign up for the free training to experience the complete course on learning the skills in the "4 Pillars of Play Therapy". Enjoy!
I wonder how often you get frustrated when your child responds with one-word answers. (See what I did there?) Using "I wonder" statements with your children is one of the greatest techniques that play therapists use to interact with kids on their emotional level to bring out meaningful responses. In this episode, I explore the topics of questions vs. statements, "if you know enough to ask a question, then you can make a statement". and finally, the importance of keeping kids in their hearts.
In this episode, I comment on a blog post I saw on todaysparent.com that I couldn't ignore. "I love my kids, but I don’t like parenting—and I know I’m not alone". So I'll unpack my thoughts on that by first exploring my opinion that many parents may feel like this because they are not properly equipped. Second, I explore how our reality as parents and our expectations as parents might be too divergent, and this is what's causing some parents to experience these feelings.
This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy curriculum, which is the core training used in my In-Home Play Therapy program. "Encourage the effort rather than praise the product". Encouragement is probably the most important tool in your parenting toolbox even though you probably don't use it! In this episode I talk about the difference between praise vs. encouragement, the difference between outcome vs effort, and internal vs. external motivation. Learning to encourage instead of praise is instrumental in raising self-motivated, and self-empowered children that have high self-esteem.
You will never know what your child is capable of unless you allow them to try! I know it's hard to watch your child struggle with something, like opening lids on a jar, or tying their shoes, or trying to pack and lug around their sports bag, but did you know that when you constantly do things for your kids, you might be "programming" them for "learned incompetence" or "learned helplessness". This is in contrast to your child positively learning that they can do things for themselves, they just need to build their competence and confidence to do so, and you can help them by letting them "struggle" a little bit. So as long as they are at the age where it's appropriate for them to do that task, such as tying their own shoes at 5, or carrying their own baseball bag at 8, then you help them build their confidence and skills to handle their own problems in the future, instead of being in a state of perpetual helplessness. In this episode, I unpack all of these points as we dive into the Rule of Thumb "Never do for a child that which they can do for themselves".
We are a month into summer... are your kids driving you nuts? It could be that you need to add some structure back into your kids lives to prevent behavior issues. In this episode, I talk to you about the importance of structure and schedule in kid's lives, I give you a quick tip for the top 3 causes of behavior problems, and finally, why summer scheduling and structure is important for adults also. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts now!
This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy curriculum, which is the core training used in my In-Home Play Therapy program. "You can’t give away what you do not possess." is a reminder that you need to be good to yourself as a parent, in order to grant patience, acceptance, and grace to your kids.
Another Memorial Day weekend observation... I couldn't believe how many families were at our hotel (poolside, restaurant, lobby, etc.) all ignoring each other, with their faces glued to their "Digital Pacifiers!" The use by both adults and children was alarming. We need to be aware of how much screen time our children have, and realize how badly it is damaging the relationship we have with our kids. We also need to educate ourselves that psychologists, psychiatrists, and neuro-biologists are hired by these gaming companies, specifically to make devices, games and social media MORE ADDICTIVE. Finally, start being aware that as kids use more devices, diagnoses for anxiety is increasing dramatically. As a result, the prescribing of anxiety medication for kids has increased astronomically. We're also starting to see specialized facilities for "detoxing" off devices springing up nationwide. Device overuse in kids is spiking at an alarming rate, and if we don't start educating ourselves about the dangers, and making changes in our families, we are going to see generations of kids that are anxious, socially isolated, and addicted.
While my family was on a weekend getaway over Memorial Day weekend, I couldn't help but do some people watching while I was sitting by the pool, reading a book. I witnessed a perfect example of why it's futile to reason with a kid (a 4 year old, at that!) In this episode, I explore this concept of kids not having reasoning skills, how trying to reason with them often escalates the situation, and how a different tactic in responding to a child can completely change the outcome of what would normally be a frustrating situation. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts here!
"We are certain to make mistakes, but we can recover. It is how we handle our mistakes that makes the difference." This is such a great rule-of-thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy training that is the curriculum in my In-Home Play Therapy program. In this episode I talk about how if your relationship with your kids is broken somehow, that you need to fix it. When you do, you are modeling for your kids how to handle these situations. And finally, this rule of thumb teaches our kids ownership of their behavior. - The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting start now!
This is my 50th episode! I'm so grateful to my podcast listeners. In this episode, I'm looking back on my week's observation of the "Parenting Journey". Parenting is full of ups and downs, but we are all united in a goal of being the best parent we can be. We want happy kids and a happy family, and I'm honored that you spend time with me and that I'm a small part of your parenting journey.
One of the most important things we can do for our kids to cherish the relationship that we have with them. In this episode, I talk about a Rule of Thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Training, “Focus on the Donut, Not the Hole.” We look at the importance of putting our attention on the good that exists already, spending the time necessary to build the connection, and why the relationship leads to the results that you want.
In this episode of the podcast, I talk about the natural consequence of child behavior. There are three points that I'd like to share with you regarding natural consequences. The first is that children are not rational. Next is that the natural consequence is different than discipline or punishment. Finally, when a child is given the opportunity to deal with the natural consequence of their behavior, they develop self control, self regulation and self responsibility.
One of the "Rules of Thumb" that we teach you in the In-Home Play Therapy program is this concept of "When a child is drowning, don’t try to teach them to swim." In this podcast, I discuss why it is so important to remember that children don't have abstract reasoning skill until starting about 12. So "teaching a lesson" in the middle of an emotional moment for your child is absolutely futile... you need to meet them in their emotion to de-escalate the situation.
We all know that therapy is beneficial and that positive change is associated with the process. But what can you count on in terms of areas of growth when a child participates in play therapy? There are four universal outcomes of play therapy, regardless of what the child is dealing with when they begin. In this episode, I unpack each of the four outcomes and help you understand why growth in these areas are so beneficial for kids and their futures.
Often people assume that if talk therapy works with adults, it should work with kids, too. But have you ever asked your child a question about how they feel or why they did something and gotten, “I don’t know” or a blank stare with a shrug? In this episode, I talk about how adults compartmentalize their lives into boxes. But children feel everything and their lives are a big tangle of emotions. I also explain how play therapy principles make sense to a child who isn’t rational or logical. You will finally understand why kids need a different approach to dealing with their issues.
Do you know what your kids are doing on social media? Do you REALLY know? I work with a lot of pre-teens and teens every week, with debilitating personal issues. One of the common threads I see is social media use. If you really care about your kids, it's time to stop being passive, and start taking a more active role in supervising what your kids are doing on their devices.
Cutting: What You Need to Know as a Parent. Why kids are doing it. How they are finding out about it. How they are hiding it. How they are sharing it. What you can do about it.
You probably haven't heard many people talking about how badly our kids are absorbing the "adult response to the coronavirus". No one is really addressing it. The phones at my office are ringing off the hook with desperate parents trying to get help for their anxious kids. In this podcast, I talk about the problem, share three examples of what anxiety does to kids, and how you can effectively respond to your child, if you see the signs.
Often one of the underlying causes of emotional and behavioral struggles is that who the child wants to be (their "ideal self") is very different from who they are (their "actual self"). In this podcast exclusive, I share what happens in the playroom when a child is ready to bridge the gap between their actual and ideal self.
Parents are often concerned when children express angry or aggressive behavior. In this podcast exclusive I discuss how parents can recognize the deeper emotions driving the angry, aggressive behavior. Once you understand why kids default to anger, you will be able to respond in a way that helps them express their vulnerability and develop an emotional vocabulary.
Have you ever wondered if all the work you put into learning how to be a good parent is paying off? Have you noticed that the more consistent you are with applying your parenting skills, that you surprise yourself by how well you handle behavior situations with your kids? In this episode, I tell the story about how I noticed a parallel between something I have been personally training for, and how consistency and hard work pays off in your parenting.
Are you setting goals or resolutions for the new year? If so, is one to create a better relationship with your kids? Or to parent in a kinder way? In this episode, I share two main goals for 2021 that can start you off on the right foot in how you interact with your kids. If you just want to put 2020 behind you because of guilt over the way you handled parenting moments, then stick with me this year and I'll teach you how to build a better relationship and interact more kindly with your kids.
Are you loving your kids in the way that they feel love? You might be completely wasting your efforts in showing love to your kids, unless you are speaking their "language!" In this episode, I introduce you to the 5 Love Languages of Kids, so that you can know for sure that your kids feel loved by you.
We know that kids don’t come with an instruction manual and parenting doesn’t have a road map. That often leaves us confused, defeated, frustrated, and ashamed of our failures. It doesn’t have to be that way! This episode highlights a question that I ask myself almost on a daily basis, and gives the key that opens the door to freedom from guilt, shame, and blame.
Is your child's behavior at school creating stress and anxiety in your family? Do you fear daily reports from the teacher? Are you unsure how to handle what's going on when you talk to the teacher or staff? I've helped many families navigate this issue in my private practice. When there are struggles at school, you have to address them directly. Use these simple tips to prepare you so that you feel confident talking to your kid's teacher.
Have you ever felt helpless to handle your children’s anxiety and worries? Have you tried things that didn’t seem to help? Do you want nothing more than to see your kids happy and worry free? With the sharp increase in child anxiety levels this year, it’s important to have effective tools to help manage this struggle. In this second part of this two-part series, you get practical skills to reduce your frustration and their anxiety.
Do you wonder if some of your children’s behaviors are related to anxiety? Have you seen an increase in big emotions, worry, fear, or confusion? Is one of the unforeseen fallouts of 2020 that our kids are experiencing increased anxiety? If the phone calls to my office are an indicator, this is the new childhood epidemic of this year. This is the first of a two-part series on recognizing anxiety in children, and how best to help your child through their worries.
Have you ever felt that your kids are too impulsive? Do they get out of control when they are overly excited? Are they quick to melt down when they don’t get their way? Does their behavior seem reckless sometimes? A good predictor of adult success is how well a child can control their impulses. In this episode I share some tips with you to help your kids learn self-control.
You probably hate it when your child loses it when they get upset! But do you know what's going on in their brain when they have that reaction? In this episode, I explain the results from a study that reveals when a child says, "I'm angry," it decreases the emotional over-reaction. This is how kids can learn self control.
Kids say things that often lead us to the wrong conclusions about what is going on. A Yale study reveals how much our feelings influence what we think and do, especially children! This episode dives into the trick that helps us get to the heart of the emotion that our kids feel, rather than focusing on what they say.
Have you ever tried to explain to your child why something they did wasn't a good idea? We've all done it. But here's the problem... kids aren't rational until about 12 or 13, so you're wasting your time explaining things rationally to them. Kids are emotional and here-and-now. So to effectively communicate with them, you have to speak to their feelings and emotions. In this episode, Dr. Brenna tells you how that works.
One of the key practices in Play Therapy is figuring out the emotion behind the behavior. When you know what emotion is causing a child to act a certain way, you can then reflect that feeling back to them and often diffuse any behavior issues. In this episode, I discuss how many of the "big" emotions that children have are rooted in a sense of powerlessness. I discuss the science behind it, and how you can respond appropriately to reduce behavior issues.
Kids under 13 do not have rational thought, yet parents try to rationalize with their kids during discipline. This is completely futile! Kids are emotional, so it’s more effective to meet them in their emotion, reflect their feeling, and if you impart some instruction, say it in 10 words or less! Anything beyond 10 words gets lost. In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna explains this “rule of thumb” that comes straight out of her 10-week private parent coaching called Child Parent Relationship Training (CPRT). For more information on CPRT visit www.thekidcounselor.com/cprt
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna discusses how the American Academy of Pediatrics published their “best of” 2019 journal articles, and one of the studies explores prescribing PLAY to combat all the stress, busyness, and anxiety that kids are experiencing these days. This is something Play Therapists have known for over 100 years! It’s nice to see the medical/pediatrics community acknowledging the benefits of play for kids.
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna shares a parenting tip from her private parent coaching class (Child Parent Relationship Therapy [CPRT]) "Be a thermostat, not a thermometer” is a metaphor that teaches you how to RESPOND to your kids, instead of just REACTING to their emotional fluctuations.
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna just offers some encouragement during this time of unknown. As you adjust to this “new normal”, and with kids doing school from home, and you possibly working from home, hopefully, we can reflect on some good things that are happening in families. So stay encouraged as we navigate this time we find ourselves in, and be leaders for your children.
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna discusses the involuntary committing of minors (known as “Baker Acting” in Florida) to mental health facilities. Unfortunately, many parents are unaware of what this process looks like, and how traumatic of an experience it can be for kids. So please be informed about this extremely important topic.
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna discusses how the root of many, if not most, behavioral issues with kids is Power Struggles. Learn what causes the power struggles and how to eliminate them with your kids.
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna shares a story of a Mom who has taken Brenna’s private parenting coaching, using the Reflecting Feelings skill. Normally, this Mom uses Reflecting Feelings on her 4 year old, but an opportunity came up to use it on her adult sister… and it worked! Watch this video to learn WHY Reflecting Feelings works so well.
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna discusses the topic of talking to your kids about hard subjects, and why you should do so truthfully, by using age appropriate language. The example she uses is of an adoptive family whos child's Mom died of an overdose, and how to address this topic with the young child.
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting®, Dr. Brenna discusses three ways to prevent the "emotional investment" in our child's behavior from becoming a negative influence and undermining our disciplining effort.
Sometimes it's easy to forget if a child has a developmental delay, when dealing with their behavior problems. In this episode, Dr. Brenna Hicks delves into the mindset of a child with developmental delays and how it affects their self-esteem and behavior. Dr. Brenna gives three tips to parents who are dealing with this issue to help build up their child.
"The very heart of play therapy lies in the belief that children innately understand what they struggle with, they just don't necessarily know how to fix it. And they will work on it through their play if they're given the time, the tools, and the opportunity."
In this podcast, Dr. Brenna tells the story of a boy, without telling him why he was there, discovers, on his own, within 20 minutes what issues he needs to work on.
Dr. Brenna also touches on the topic of "competence themed" play.
In this video, Dr. Brenna shares an example from her play room to explain how children "play" through their issues. Whereas adults "talk" or "work" through their issues, children play through their issues and "re-write their story", so to speak. The take-away is to not "protect" your child from their feelings. The only way through an issue, is to go through it! Dr. Brenna also touches on a secondary topic of non-traditional family configurations and how that affects kids.
In this video, Dr. Brenna comments on a situation that happened in the lobby of her practice where she overheard a Mom, maybe unknowingly, using a play therapy principle that communicated that the Mom trusted the child, knows that he will do what he's been asked to do, and that she believes in his abilities. What a great encouragement to see a Mom interacting with her son in this way. Learn what this play therapy principle was by watching the video and learn how to respond to your kids so that they become capable and trustworthy.
From ADHD to Autism Spectrum to ODD, CD and Bi-Polar. Dr. Brenna talks about the trends she observes in her practice about childhood diagnoses. She believes that Play Therapy should at least be considered as a non-medication alternative to try before simply medicating children.
Sometimes it is a struggle when families pursue therapy for their kids. In this podcast, Dr. Brenna helps you to understand the way that the therapy process works and some of the common concerns that parents have as a result of feeling that they need some support and help for their kids.
In this video, Dr. Hicks talks about research revealing that a holistic approach, that aligns with Play Therapy, is effective in combating common child diagnoses. Before you accept a pediatrician's diagnosis, and medicate your kids, consider this simple, more natural approach!
Many parents don't realize that the way they respond to their kids is actually REWARDING their NEGATIVE behavior! In this video, Dr. Hicks explains what this looks like, and how to implement a play therapy technique to prevent rewarding negative behavior.
Dr. Brenna discusses the top 3, most easily preventable reasons kids display behavior problems. So before reacting, mentally go through this list to see if you can quickly eliminate the cause for these top 3 reasons children misbehave.
Play Therapy works for all age groups. In this episode, Dr. Brenna explains what play therapy with teens and older populations may look like, and why it's effective.
Sometimes, Play Therapy is described as "Magical" because people don't know why it works so well, it just does. In this episode, Dr. Brenna explains how play therapy works by telling a story of one of her clients who worked through his issues through play. He did it at home... not the play room... and his Mom witnessed, first hand, the "magic" of play therapy!
A video that I had to record as a result of a simple bumper sticker on a car in front of me… and it is now my personal mission to make every parent claim positive and encouraging traits about themselves! Watch all the way to the end so that you can be empowered to fight the critical and harsh way that we talk about ourselves as parents.
The more you understand the "wheel" of emotions, the more you can help your child communicate what they are feeling accurately. In this video, Dr. Brenna Hicks introduces you to Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions, and the theory of how it all fits together. You can use this knowledge to better Reflect Feelings to your child.
In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, Dr. Hicks explains why sometimes it's okay to simply "be" with your kid. You don't need to solve, explain away, or distract them from their current issue. Brenna gives several examples from her office, and from other Moms, how to meet the child in that emotional moment.
The four "Pillars" of Play Therapy are the foundational skills that Play Therapy is built on. Dr. Brenna Hicks gives an overview and examples for each of these skills. This video is foundational training for any parent looking to add Play Therapy skills to their parenting "tool box".
In this episode of Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, Dr. Brenna Hicks talks about the play therapy skill, reflecting feelings, and why it's okay for parents to simply reflect a child's feeling back to them, and then stop! We tend to want to solve problems for our kids, or try to make our kids feel better, when sometimes, simply "sitting" in the child's emotion is what they need more.