Ask a Christian Counselor: Recent Episodes
Tres Adames
Tres Adames is a Board Certified Pastoral Counselor and the Director of Arizona Christian Counseling in Phoenix, Arizona. Tres discusses topics on growing deeper spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally, and seeks to help others grow closer in their relationship with God and other people. Visit the website at: http://www.askachristiancounselor.net
In this episode, we talk about revival — what it is, and how to seek it. We talk about the 1970 revival that occurred at Asbury University and the current revival at Asbury taking place in 2023.
In this episode, Tres discusses how to find a counselor if you are seeking mental health services. He talks about some practical steps you can take to find a provider who accepts your insurance as well as some other resources available for those looking to find help they can afford. Read the article at: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/uploads/1/4/0/4/14048760/find-counselor.pdf
In this episode, Tres discusses the topic of depression, its symptoms, and the various resources available for those struggling with depression.
For more information: https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Depression/Overview
If you are suicidal or have a mental health emergency, dial: 988
In this episode, Tres discusses the importance of providing spiritually-integrated care and counseling that is client-centered. This doesn't mean that counselors of faith have to leave their convictions at the door, but keeping the focus on the client and learning about who they are spiritually can allow us to connect with them on a deeper level, and even inspire them to foster a closer relationship with God on their own. For more on this topic, see our episode on What is Pastoral Counseling?
In this episode, Tres talks about the art of reflective listening, a foundational skill for any counseling approach. Reflective listening is a powerful tool that can be used by pastors, leaders, volunteers, and anyone who wants to help those in need. The content from this episode is an excerpt from the Pastoral Care Specialist program, a new spiritually-integrated mental health aid training for healers in a variety of settings. To learn more about the Pastoral Care Specialist program, go to: arizonachristiancounseling.com/pcs
The next offering of the Pastoral Care Specialist training program will be this January 2023. This is a 48-hour course that provides the knowledge and skills pastoral caregivers in churches and faith communities need to help others effectively, ethically, and safely. The content of this course is also applicable and valuable for lay leaders, church volunteers, or anyone who wants to help others more effectively.
Learn more at: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/pastoral-care-specialist
In this episode, Tres discusses the importance of taking care of one's physical health and how it relates to spiritual and mental health. He tells his story of how he made changes in his own health over the years and gives practical advice for those looking to do the same. Tres' personal training website: https://personaltrainerarizona.com
In this episode, Tres discusses how the field of Christian Counseling is changing and discusses how his counseling approach has developed over the years. While church attendance continues to decline, there is still a cultural interest in faith and spirituality. Meanwhile, the need for mental health resources continues to increase. Be sure to share our resources:
- Our Counseling Website
- The Pastoral Care Specialist Training Program
- Like us on Facebook
- Follow us on Instagram
- Connect on LinkedIn
- Subscribe to our YouTube
To commemorate our 10-year anniversary, we are promoting our most popular Christian Counseling resources at 50% off, including the Christian DISC® Certification Course. Learn more at: https://arizonachristiancounseling.com/10
This date marks the Tenncennial Anniversary of our practice. 10 years ago on September 1st, 2012, our founder, Tres Adames launched a small website to promote his pastoral counseling services. Over the years, it grew to include several other therapists, a personality assessment, a continuing education program, a nationwide directory of faith-based therapists, and two office locations. We have had the privilege of serving thousands of clients, helping them find strength for today and hope for tomorrow. Here's to another 10 years!
This is a final reminder for those who are interested in joining our next offering of the ACPE Pastoral Care Specialist course — a pastoral counseling and mental health first aid training. This 48-hour live course provides the knowledge and skills pastoral caregivers in churches and faith communities need to help others effectively, ethically, and safely. Class starts Tuesday, August 23rd with applications due by Saturday, August 20th. For more information, go to: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/pcs
If you are a pastor or church leader, you are often the first person your congregants turn to when they are in crisis. You may already offer a degree of limited support and guidance but may feel unequipped to fully provide what is needed.
The Pastoral Care Specialist (PCS) Training Program is a new curriculum developed by the American Association of Pastoral Counselors (AAPC) and the Association for Clinical Pastoral Education (ACPE), and provides the knowledge and skills pastoral caregivers in churches and faith communities need to help others effectively, ethically, and safely. The training is also applicable to pastoral counselors, spiritual directors, chaplains, and other health professionals who provide spiritual care and support in community health and private practice settings.
The next training starts August 23rd and will run until December 20th. Learn more and sign up at: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/pastoral-care-specialist.html
What does it truly mean to be someone’s friend? Why is friendship important? How do I make more friends? These are some of the things we talk about in this episode of the podcast. It may seem elementary to talk about, it might be the kind of thing you hear in kindergarten, but friendship is so incredibly valuable both psychologically and spiritually. Having deep, quality relationships can mean the difference between being happy or being majorly depressed.
In this episode, we talk about some important things to keep in mind for pastors and churches who want to minister to those who are deconstructing. We talk about common misconceptions around deconstruction and how to be there for those who are experiencing a deconstruction of their faith.
Learn more about our course on deconstruction for faith-based counselors and therapists at: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/deconstruction.html
In this short update, Tres talks about his new course called "Deconstruction and Faith-Based Counseling." He talks briefly about some misconceptions around the topic and how Christian counselors can still help clients who are deconstructing while holding to their own convictions. To learn more about the course (and get $20 off) go to: https://arizonachristiancounseling.teachable.com/p/deconstruction?coupon_code=PODCAST
In this episode, we talk with Whitney Owens from Faith in Practice about an upcoming conference for faith-based counselors. We also briefly discuss the topic of deconstruction, which Tres will be speaking on at the conference. For more information about the conference, go to: https://practiceofthepractice.com/faithinpracticeconference
In times of crisis, the first place many turn to is their local church or faith community. Studies show that 25% of those seeking help for mental illness first turn to a clergyperson. This is higher than the percentage of people who first go to a psychiatrist or medical doctor.* The ACPE Pastoral Care Specialist (PCS) Training Program is a 16 week, 48-hour live course providing the knowledge and skills pastoral caregivers in churches and faith communities need to help others effectively, ethically, and safely. Issues and topics covered include:
- Pastoral Theology & Our Images of Pastoral Care
- Ethics of Pastoral Care & Counseling
- Marriage & Family Issues in Systemic Perspective
- Listening in the Service of Healing
- Motivational Interviewing
- Spiritual Assessment & Diagnosis
- Harmful Spirituality & Spiritual Struggles
- Grief, Loss, & Resilience
- Mental Health & the Role of the Faith Community
- Trauma-Informed Spiritual Care
- Understanding & Responding Effectively to Domestic Violence
- Substance Abuse, Addiction, & the Role of the Faith Community
The PCS Training program is a new curriculum developed by the Psychotherapy Commission of the Association for Clinical Pastoral Education (ACPE) and the former American Association of Pastoral Counselors (AAPC), which consolidated with ACPE in 2019. Arizona Christian Counseling has piloted two offerings of the PCS program in 2021 and will be offering another training starting February 8th, 2022. Learn more at: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/pastoral-care-specialist
Have you ever asked God for something but didn’t receive it? If we are honest, we all have. Yet prayer is not something similar to wishing on a star. There is nothing inherently wrong with asking God for things — sometimes we do get what we ask for. But a lot of times we don’t. It's heartbreaking when it’s something huge, like praying for healing from a serious illness or praying for some type of suffering to end.
A lot of people are hesitant about prayer. Some feel guilty that they don’t do it enough. Some have been let down by its results. What does it mean that “prayer changes things?” Also, what does it not mean? In this podcast, we will be discussing some insights on understanding the purpose of prayer and how to more deeply utilize prayer in your own faith journey.
This episode features an interview with Aaron Pawelek, who is a pastoral counselor and Chair of the Pastoral Care Specialist Training Program, a new curriculum developed by ACPE. The 48-hour program focuses on providing the knowledge and skills pastors and leaders in churches and faith communities need to help others effectively, ethically, and safely. Learn more about the Pastoral Care Specialist program here: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/pastoral-care-specialist.html
Since the pandemic began, one-third of Americans are now suffering from anxiety, stress, and/or depression. In this episode, we discuss practical ways to implement self-care to better our mental health and spiritual life.
Faithful Counseling provides confidential one-on-one counseling with Christian licensed therapists. Get 10% off your first month: http://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
This is an affiliate link — when you click the link and make a purchase, we earn a commission at no additional cost to you.
The Biblical Counseling Master Course,™ our flagship 6-hour video course in biblical counseling, will be closing to new students this Wednesday, September 9th, 2020. You (or a friend) still have the chance to enroll for only $59. Will I still have access after Wednesday? YES. All students currently enrolled by Wednesday will still have lifetime access. After Wednesday, NO NEW STUDENTS will be able to enroll. Why is it closing to new students? The course is currently being updated with new research and materials and will be broken into 4-5 smaller courses that will individually sell for much higher. These courses will create a larger curriculum that will lead to a future certification program for Christian pastoral counselors, lay counselors, and professional counselors. Will the course still be applicable toward future certification? YES. All students who are enrolled in the Biblical Counseling Master Course™ and complete it will be grandfathered into the new program and will be eligible for the certification program when it launches in 2021. Additional courses (to be announced) may also be required, but 6 hours of credit from the course will be applied. If you still haven't enrolled, now is the time to do so. If you are already enrolled, send this email to a friend or colleague you know that might be interested. LAST CHANCE TO ENROLL WILL BE WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9TH! ENROLL NOW: https://biblicalcounselingcourses.com/p/biblical-counseling
Several of our resources are currently on sale at: https://www.christianpersonalitytest.com/sale.html Offers end Monday, August 24th at midnight.
In this episode, Tres talks with Pastor Gina Pollard from City Square Church in Phoenix, Arizona on the topic of building healthy community. We focus on this topic as it relates to the local church from a scriptural perspective as well as insights from family systems theory.
In this episode, we discuss how grace not only saves the Christian, but allows them to grow as believers. Many struggle with legalism and works righteousness which can stall growth spiritually and even emotionally. We discuss how to press into God's grace so you can find hope and healing.
On this episode, we interview Brooks Gibson, a pastoral counselor with Arizona Christian Counseling. We discuss personality disorders, with an emphasis on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and approach the subject from a Christian perspective.
In this special episode, we share a free audio course on finding hope for anxiety and depression. In years past, this course was a paid resource, but in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, it has now been made available for free to our listeners. Download the notes and worksheets on our website.
This special episode was produced in response to the unfolding COVID-19 pandemic. Here we talk about finding hope during difficult times by putting our trust in God, embracing wisdom for ourselves, and compassion for others. Learn more about The Serenity Project: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/covid19
In this episode, we interview Dr. Abigail Atkins, a licensed psychologist who works with children and parents, primarily through play therapy. We discuss ways to discipline and guide children that are more effective, emphasizing the benefits of positive reinforcement.
What exactly is revival? We discuss revival, salvation, sanctification, and the Holy Spirit with audio clips from a famous revival that happened at Asbury College in 1970.
Faithful Counseling (10% off your first month): https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
This episode is a followup to a previous episode on dating. We discuss how to approach dating with wisdom and the use of boundaries. We also discuss how to respond when you are no longer interested in seeing someone.
Listen to the previous episode on dating: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/podcast/wisdom-for-dating
Faithful Counseling (10% off your first month): https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this episode, we give a broad overview of depression from a Christian perspective. We discuss the physiological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of depression and ways to find hope.
Resources Mentioned:
-10 Days to Self Esteem by David Burns: https://amzn.to/2sEOkuA
-Faithful Counseling (10% off your first month): https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
It's hard enough going through a difficult season in your life, but worse when you feel like you can't afford the help you really need. Local churches may offer short term pastoral counseling, but some issues require more attention and expertise. We discuss a few options to consider if you need to find professional counseling that won't hit you too hard in the pocket book.
Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this special episode, we discuss positive and supportive ways to respond when an LGBTQ loved one comes out to you (even if it's news that you may not understand or agree with). We talk about practical ways to show unconditional love rather than being reactive by diving into theological or political debates.
Suggested Resources:
-Freed Hearts Ministry: https://www.freedhearts.org
-Church Clarity: https://www.churchclarity.org
This is a special episode where Tres gives an important update about his ministry and also tells his story.
In this episode, we interview Gregory Coles, author of Single, Gay, Christian, which is his memoir about growing up gay in the evangelical church. Gregory talks about his journey of reconciling his faith with his sexuality, and how he ultimately felt called to celibacy in his walk with Christ.
To learn more about Gregory go to: http://www.gregorycoles.com
Gregory's book: "Single, Gay, Christian": https://amzn.to/33m7hPV
Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this episode, Tres presents a sermon on understanding God more fully. We cover common misconceptions of God that can negatively impact a person's spirituality and mental health, and contrast that with a more accurate picture of who God really is as seen through Jesus Christ.
Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this episode, we discuss how survivors of abuse can find hope and healing. We focus on the effects of emotional and verbal abuse and how they can affect a person years after the abuse has ended.
Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
We interview Whitney Owens, a licensed professional counselor and owner of a group practice in Savannah, Georgia. Whitney describes how she integrates faith into the counseling process and talks about the challenges of growing a faith-based counseling practice.
- Water's Edge Counseling (Savannah, GA): https://watersedgecounseling.com
- Whitney's Consulting and Mastermind Group: https://practiceofthepractice.lpages.co/faith-mastermind/
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
How do you take care of someone when the issues they are facing seem insurmountable? We discuss a biblical approach to spiritual care for counselors, pastors, and church leaders helping others with difficult situations.
Resources Mentioned:
Acquainted with Grief (Roger Daniels): https://amzn.to/31gmYYd
Caring for People God's Way (Timothy Clinton): https://amzn.to/2LMREcW
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this special episode, we interview McKrae Game, the former leader of one of the largest ex-gay organizations in the country. Conversion therapy refers to any attempt to change a person's sexual orientation, whether through psychotherapy, pastoral counseling, or support group programs.
Recommended Resources
The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org
QChristian: https://www.qchristian.org
Books on the Affirming View:
Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate (Justin Lee): https://www.amazon.com/Torn-Rescuing-Gospel-Gays-vs-Christians-Debate/dp/1455514306
God and the Gay Christian (Matthew Vines): https://www.amazon.com/God-Gay-Christian-Biblical-Relationships/dp/160142518X
Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships (Karen Keen): https://www.amazon.com/Scripture-Ethics-Possibility-Same-Sex-Relationships/dp/0802876544
Books on the Traditional View:
Washed and Waiting (Wesley Hill): https://www.amazon.com/Washed-Waiting-Reflections-Faithfulness-Homosexuality/dp/0310534194
Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity (Gregory Coles): https://www.amazon.com/Single-Gay-Christian-Personal-Identity/dp/0830845127
In this episode, we discuss how emotional growth and spiritual maturity are inseparable. We also discuss what emotional intelligence is and connect the concept with biblical principles.
The Christian DISC® Assessment: https://www.christianpersonalitytest.com/
The Christian DISC® Certification Course: https://www.christianpersonalitytest.com/certification
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this episode, Tres discusses personality theory and the Christian DISC®, a biblical personality assessment that helps people identify their temperament, and includes practical and biblical suggestions for growing in character. Learn more about the Christian DISC® at: https://www.christianpersonalitytest.com
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this episode, we discuss what happens when someone doubts their faith. With grace and compassion, we talk about how doubt is really just honesty that can lead to a deeper understanding of what you believe, and can even lead to a deeper faith in God.
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this interview with Lisa Peterson, we discuss trauma and PTSD. Lisa is a licensed therapist who provides EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which is a treatment for those suffering from trauma and PTSD. We discuss the process of healing from trauma, especially from a Christian perspective.
EMDR Therapy with Lisa: https://www.arizonachristiancounseling.com/lisa-peterson
Find an EMDR therapist near you: http://www.emdr.com/SEARCH/index.php
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
In this impromptu episode, we discuss two seemingly unrelated (but still connected) subjects. We talk more about personality theory and the Christian DISC™. We also discuss what it means to be positive through the lens of Christian counseling, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, and Positive Psychology.
Take the free version of the Christian DISC™ Assessment: https://www.askachristiancounselor.net/disc.html
Learn how to become a Certified Christian DISC™ Facilitator: https://www.christianpersonalitytest.com/certification.html
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
When looking for a Christian counselor, what should you look for? What is a Christian counselor exactly? In this episode, we discuss the various forms of Christian counseling from psychotherapy to pastoral and biblical counseling.
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here: https://www.faithfulcounseling.com/acc
How can a couple improve their relationship? Through communication—but what does that mean? In this episode, we discuss the importance of empathy and how it is essential in making communication work so couples can grow closer and feel connected.
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here.
In this episode, we talk about personality—specifically the attributes that make a person an introvert or an extrovert. We discuss the strengths and blindspots of both and discuss the Christian DISC™ Assessment, which helps users understand themselves and others from a biblical perspective.
Take a free version of the Christian DISC™ to discover your personality type.
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here.
How can one overcome obsessive compulsive disorder? What happens when OCD takes on a spiritual component? In this episode, we discuss hope for Christians struggling with OCD.
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here.
Can you be gay and Christian? In this important episode, we discuss this controversial issue with grace that addresses various sides of the debate. We also share resources and insight for those struggling to reconcile their sexuality and faith.
Resources Mentioned:
• QChristian
• Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate (Justin Lee)
Books for Those on Side B:
• Washed and Waiting (Wesley Hill)
• Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity (Gregory Coles)
Books for Those on Side A:
• God and the Gay Christian (Matthew Vines)
• Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships (Karen Keen)
Looking for help? Faithful Counseling provides online counseling with Christian licensed therapists. For 10% off your first month, visit here.
In this episode, Tres discusses his own experience dealing with burnout and goes over some biblical principles for alleviating stress, setting boundaries, and finding time for rest and restoration.
For more resources, visit our new online store on our website. Support for our show comes from Faithful Counseling where you can talk to a Christian licensed therapist online today. Take 10% off your first month.
In the episode, we discuss how important close friends are for adults, as well as kids. It seems like it's more difficult to make friends as we get older, so we go over some principles for making lasting friends as an adult.
Support for our show comes from Faithful Counseling where you can talk to a Christian licensed therapist online today. Take 10% off your first month.
On this 100th episode of the podcast, Tres answers several questions from listeners with special guest, Jeanette Hovis.
Resources Mentioned:
- Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- Codependent No More by Melody Bettie
- Love is a Choice by Robert Hemfelt, Paul Meier.
Support for our show comes from Faithful Counseling where you can talk to a Christian licensed therapist online today. Take 10% off your first month.
Holidays can be stressful for those with dysfunctional families. In this episode, we discuss family dynamics as well as ways to set boundaries with difficult family members. We also discuss how a family genogram can help one learn more about one's family background and dynamics.
Resources Mentioned:
- Genograms for Beginners by Tres Adames
- How to Set Boundaries (article)
- Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman
Support for our show comes from Faithful Counseling where you can talk to a Christian licensed therapist online today. Take 10% off your first month.
How can someone find happiness? Is it something we have to go out and attain, or is it something we can experience now? Tres answers these questions and also gives hope and practical insight for those struggling with anxiety and depression.
- Are you looking for a Christian counselor? Check out our Christian counseling directory.
- Want to learn more about training in Christian counseling? Check out the Biblical Counseling Master Course™
In this episode, Tres discusses how counselors can receive training in Christian counseling and what it takes to open a private practice. He also discusses Christian Counselor Near Me, a directory for Christian counselors and therapists.
Resources mentioned:
- The Board of Christian Professional and Pastoral Counselors - certifications for Christian counselors
- The Biblical Counseling Master Course™ - our flagship video course.
- Light University (For more continuing ed courses)
- The Christian Counseling DISC Profile™ - Free to take
- Christian Counselor Near Me (formally the Association of Christian Counselors in Private Practice)
Visit our website at: www.askachristiancounselor.net for more resources.
In this episode, Tres discusses how to improve your self esteem by looking at yourself through God's eyes. He shares his own story of transformation and how he improved his physical and spiritual health. Follow Tres' health and wellness account on Instagram.
In this episode, we discuss how to view medication and mental illness from a holistic rather than overly-simplified perspective. We also discuss how to set boundaries with others who are invasive with opinions about your health.
This episode is part 5 of 5. We discuss how to apply passages of the Bible in counseling.
Download notes here.
Want to learn more? Check out The Biblical Counseling Master Course. Enter 50OFF for a $50 discount.
This episode is part 4 of 5. We cover how to study the Bible using the Inductive Bible Study Method.
Download notes here.
Want to learn more? Check out The Biblical Counseling Master Course. Enter 50OFF for a $50 discount.
This episode is part 3 of 5. We go over a list detailing 100 scriptures divided by topic and where to start.
Download notes here.
Want to learn more? Check out The Biblical Counseling Master Course. Enter 50OFF for a $50 discount.
This episode is part 2 of 5. We talk about three different ways biblical truth can be shared with counselees in biblical counseling.
Download notes here.
Want to learn more? Check out The Biblical Counseling Master Course. Enter 50OFF for a $50 discount.
This episode is part 1 of 5. We talk about assessing the biblical literacy of your counselee in one-on-one counseling.
Download notes here.
Want to learn more? Check out The Biblical Counseling Master Course. Enter 50OFF for a $50 discount.
In this episode, Tres addresses a listener's questions around finding a career and living out God's calling on your life. He also discusses how to base your self-esteem in Christ rather than income, image, or status.
Suggested Resources:
- Book: 48 Days to the Work You Love
- 48 Days Podcast
- Need to find a counselor? Try Christiancounselornearme.com
Have a question for the podcast? Tweet us: @TresAdames.
This episode features a roundtable discussion with leaders of AAPC (the American Association of Pastoral Counselors) on the topic of pastoral counseling. To learn more, go to: www.aapc.org
In this episode, we discuss how those in relationships with a narcissist can respond appropriate while taking care of themselves. We explain narcissism from a biblical perspective and discuss practical ways that those in abusive relationships can move on and heal.
Resources Mentioned
- Narcissism from a Biblical Perspective (Blog and Podcast Episode)
- Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- The Christian's Guide to No Contact: How to End Your Relationships With Narcissistic, Psychopathic, and Abusive Family and Friends, and Still be a Good Christian by Sister Renee Pittelli
- When Loving Him Is Hurting You: Hope and Help for Women Dealing With Narcissism and Emotional Abuse by David Hawkins
Support for our show comes from Faithful Counseling where you can talk to a Christian licensed therapist online today. Take 10% off your first month.
In this episode, we discuss how married couples can rekindle the flame and feel more connected. Often it's easy to feel love when we are first in a relationship, but what to do when the feeling fades and resentment threatens to extinguish the spark? We discuss how to address negative cycles and establish more healthy ones that invite connection.
Resources Mentioned:
- Boundaries in Marriage by Cloud/Townsend
- Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
- For Men Only and For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
- The Self-Centered Marriage by Hal Edward Runkel
- The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller
Interested in learning more? Check out our courses in biblical counseling.
In this episode, we discuss the character qualities and skills that are helpful to those considering becoming a Christian counselor, pastor, or ministry leader.
Resources Mentioned:
- Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud
- Christian Counselor Near Me, a new counselor directory
- 4 Signs You are Called to Christian Counseling
- Arizona Christian Counseling Academy, courses in biblical counseling
- The Biblical Counseling Master Course
In this episode, Tres tackles some controversial opinions around Christians and dating. He provides some practical suggestions as well as a step-by-step guide for discerning what to look for in a future spouse.
Resources Mentioned
- Wisdom for Dating Worksheet
- Joshua Harris' Ted Talk: Strong Enough to Be Wrong
- Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
In this episode, we discuss stigma and victim-blaming around those who struggle with mental illness. We discuss how to show compassion from a biblical perspective.
Resources mentioned:
- Hope for Mental Health, Saddleback Church
- The Biblical Counseling Master Course
- Christian Counselor Near Me, an upcoming Christian counseling directory.
In this special episode, we discuss the epidemic of sexual assault not only in our culture but in the local church. We discuss what real redemption looks like while advocating for victims of sexual assault.
Resources Mentioned:
- Previous episode: Finding Healing from Sexual Abuse, an interview with Randy Boyd who shares his story about healing from the trauma of sexual abuse.
- Mere Objects an art project by Sarah Jane giving a voice to victims of sexual violence.
In this episode, Tres discusses the importance of embracing gratitude, slowing down, and choosing contentment over remaining busy.
In this episode, we discuss what it really means to experience happiness. We look to philosophy and theology and ask: Is happiness just mere pleasure or good feeling? Or is there a deeper explanation of what it means to find lasting satisfaction and fulfillment?
Bibliography
- Adler, Mortimer. Aristotle's Ethics - Book I: The Theory of Happiness. Encyclopaedia Britannica Films, 1962.
- Adler, Mortimer J. “Happiness and Contentment.” Ten Philosophical Mistakes, Touchstone, 1985.
- Aristotle. “Nicomachean Ethics.” The Internet Classics Archive, translated by W. D. Ross, classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.1.i.html.
- Katz, Josh. “Drug Deaths in America Are Rising Faster Than Ever.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 5 June 2017, www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/06/05/upshot/opioid-epidemic-drug-overdose-deaths-are-rising-faster-than-ever.html.
- Rothman, Lily. “American Happiness Index 2016: Exclusive Data on Mood in USA.” Time, Time, 1 July 2016, time.com/4389726/harris-poll-happiness-index-2016/.
- Townsend, John. “Leadership Beyond Reason: How Great Leaders Succeed by Harnessing the Power of Their Values, Feelings, and Intuition.” Leadership Beyond Reason: How Great Leaders Succeed by Harnessing the Power of Their Values, Feelings, and Intuition, Harper Collins, 2011, p. 87.
- Warren, Kay. Choose Joy: Because Happiness Isn't Enough. Revell, 2013.
In this special episode, Tres interviews Randy and Gina Weeks who share the story of how they lost their first child together. October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month. Randy and Gina's story provides insight on coping through losing a child, and how you can be a help to those who are grieving.
Randy and Gina Weeks reside in Phoenix, Arizona with their three children, Katelyn, Hannah, and Josh. Randy is a locally licensed minister in the Church of the Nazarene, and Gina is a homemaker, homeschooling mom, and biblical counselor.
Resources shared in this episode:
- Gina's Website: Sharing His Hope
- Gina's Facebook Page
- Biblical Counseling with Gina
- Book: Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg
- Kathe Wunnenberg's Ministry: Hopelifters
In this episode, Tres shares the story of how Arizona Christian Counseling came to be. He also shares resources for counselors who also want to launch their own Christian counseling private practice.
A rundown of this episode:
- 0:27 - It’s our 5th anniversary!
- 1:40 - The Biblical Counseling Course
- 2:42 - The future of the podcast
- 5:15 - Why I’m recording from home again
- 5:36 - The story of Arizona Christian Counseling
- 10:11 - Two kinds of Christian counselors
- 11:07 - Disclaimer
- 11:45 - Pray for wisdom
- 12:57 - What’s your specialty?
- 14:46 - Liability insurance
- 15:42 - Setting up an LLC
- 16:50 - Find office space
- 18:16 - Setup your phone
- 18:48 - Get an EHR (Electronic Health Record)
- 19:53 - Ways to advertise
- 26:17 - More resources
- 26:26 - Majerle the cat is being noisy
- 27:03 - Thank you
Resources mentioned:
- The Biblical Counseling Course
- How to be a Christian counselor (podcast)
- Liability Insurance: HPSO and American Professional
- Setting up an LLC: Legal Zoom
- Phone: Google Voice and Grasshopper
- EHR: SimplePractice and TherapyNotes
- Website builders: Weebly and Wordpress
- Directories: Psychology Today and a Christian Counseling Directory
- Business Cards: Vistaprint
In this episode, Tres describes how we can rebuild trust after it has been broken. He talks about how forgiveness and trust intersect, and the process a couple can take as they recover from a major breach of trust.
A rundown of this episode:
- 0:03 - New music for the intro!
- 0:20 - More recordings on the field in future episodes.
- 2:09 - Relax to the sounds of an Arizona monsoon rainstorm.
- 2:56 - The 5th anniversary of the podcast is coming soon.
- 5:10 - How the issue of trust comes up a lot in couples counseling.
- 9:15 - An analogy that explains how trust grows.
- 13:09 - Tres gives an illustration on trust by telling the story of how he adopted his cat, Majerle.
- 16:10 - Surrendering to God.
Resources mentioned:
- Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken by Cindy Beall
In this episode, Tres gives some practical considerations for those who are interested in starting couples therapy.
In this episode, Tres shares some of the insight he's gained from counseling hundreds of couples during the first few years of their relationship.
In this episode, Tres discusses his favorite tool for personal and spiritual growth. After explaining the purpose of prayer from a biblical perspective, Tres outlines a practical and powerful way to start your own prayer journal so you can connect deeper with God.
In this episode, Tres shares the first lesson in the Biblical Counseling Master Course. He discusses the difference between clinical vs. biblical counseling, as well as various approaches in using the Bible to counsel others.
In this episode, we discuss how Christian spirituality is intended to be useable, authentic, and practical. We go over a few listener questions that address shame, forgiveness, redemption, and discerning the will of God in our lives.
In this episode, we interview Jennie Turton of The Christian Coaching School about life coaching. If you are interested in becoming a coach, or getting coached yourself, Jennie shares the philosophy of coaching and how faith is integrated in the process.
Christmas can be a challenging time of year for those struggling with depression, grief, disappointment, and complicated family situations. In this podcast, we discuss how to deal with these situations and approach the holiday season with a new perspective and the ultimate hope found in Christ.
In this episode, we discuss how to set boundaries in a romantic relationship. We talk about red flags that come up when a couple becomes too enmeshed, and how to use boundaries to strengthen relationships.
In this episode, we discuss certain things to look for when you are seeking the help of a Christian counselor. We go over specific questions to ask and ways to inquire about a counselor's training, approach, and worldview.
In this episode, we discuss how to set boundaries with those we love. We talk about the biblical foundation of boundaries and go over a step-by-step process for setting boundaries with loved ones.
In this episode, Tres preaches on Christian freedom. He gives specific examples on how those caught in cycles of defeat can find freedom through the grace and empowerment of Christ.
In this episode, we discuss spiritual pride and the emotional abuse that can stem from it. We go over the signs of spiritual abuse and how to recognize an emotionally healthy church and leadership.
In this episode, we discuss practical methods to relieve stress. Work can be viewed as "breathing out," so we talk about specific ways to "breathe in" to find restoration and Sabbath rest.
How can we understand narcissism from a biblical perspective? We all deal with self-absorption and narcissistic tendencies, but Narcissistic Personality Disorder runs deeper. We discuss how such a person can change, and how to understand someone who is narcissistic.
Is there hope after a marital separation? In this episode, we discuss how couples can reconcile and save a marriage that is on the rocks. We go over some practical insights to consider if you are currently separated from your spouse but seeking reconciliation.
In this episode, we describe bitterness as "fossilized anger" and discuss the effects that resentment can have on a person, as well as whole communities. We go over some practical strategies that someone can utilize when they are trying to heal from unresolved resentment from the past.
In this special episode, Tres interviews Randy Boyd, author of Healing the Man Within: Hope for Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Randy shares his own story of healing from the trauma of sexual abuse, and offers hope for those who are looking for the same healing. You can find Randy's book here and can learn more about his life coaching practice on his website.
It's easy to think of grace as something that happens when someone first comes to Christ, but in reality, is meant to be received through the rest of one's life journey. In this episode, Tres discusses how many believers still struggle with shame, but how God calls each of us into His grace for the entirety of our journey with Him.
1,500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to burnout, conflict, or moral failure. In this episode, Tres give practical strategies on how to prevent burnout. Even if you aren't a pastor, this message discusses the importance of knowing about the pressures they face and how to support them.
In this episode, Tres discusses how using medication in one's recovery is not unspiritual. He discuss the stigma around mental illness, and advocates for grace and understanding for those who struggle with mental health needs.
In this episode, Tres discusses unhealthy and healthy sexuality. He confronts the issue of pornography addiction, emphasizing how shame keeps us locked in bondage.
In this episode, Tres discusses how the local church can provide care to those who are hurting. All Christians are called to minister and the body of Christ is meant to build itself up in love and discipleship. The book referenced is Coffee Cup Counseling.
In this episode, Tres discusses how to approach marital and family relationships that are in conflict. He talks about settings boundaries, communication, and the difference between forgiveness and trust.
In this episode, Tres does a crash course of theological topics and how they relate to everyday issues we all struggle with.
We all struggle with perfectionism on one level or another. In this episode, Tres discusses how we often measure ourselves against an impossible standard, whether from the world around us or in our ideas about our spirituality. He then gives positive and practical insight on how we can let go of perfectionism and walk toward God's grace.
Many struggle with understanding how mental illness and spirituality connect. In this episode, Tres discusses how we can understand mental illness theologically and compassionately respond to those who struggle.
In this episode, Tres discusses how movies, and the stories they contain, can help us cope and even grow. He gives his top ten list of movies he regularly prescribes to clients struggling with various issues.
In this episode, Tres discusses Christian counseling itself, mainly what defines counseling as Christian? He talks about the integration of biblical principles in the counseling process, and how he approaches clients who don't share the same worldview.
In this episode, Tres discusses how anger itself is not a sin, but can easily become sinful when out of control. He gives some biblical insight, then outlines practical strategies for processing and expressing anger in a healthy manner.
In this episode, Tres discusses how to approach and interact with toxic people—those who are critical, manipulative, and destructive in the way they relate with others.
In this episode, Tres shares what he's learned from working with couples in counseling. He dives deep into many elements that make a marriage work, and addresses some often overlooked factors. The online courses mentioned can be found here.
How well do you know yourself? In this episode, Tres discusses the DISC profile which describes four basic temperaments. Identifying your personality style can help you learn more about yourself and how you relate to others at home, at church, and in the workplace.
Whether someone is struggling with depression, anxiety, addiction, or relationship problems, the thing everyone desires is to be happy. In this episode, Tres discusses how to find true happiness regardless of circumstances.
In this special message, Tres describe healthy and unhealthy ways to grieve. He then discusses the hope of heaven and how we can have the assurance of being with the Lord when we pass on.
Tres interviews Eddie Fisher, the founder and director of Cross Stitched, a ministry dedicated to helping men overcome addiction. Eddie shares his own story of recovery and gives practical advice to those struggling and affected by addiction.
Do you feel called to be a Christian counselor? In this episode, Tres gives practical, unbiased insight on what it's like to be a professional Christian counselor and what it takes to get there. He describes two different types of Christian counseling including the three things every counselor needs to become effective. For more on the business side of counseling, check out Practice of the Practice.
What makes living in a stepfamily so challenging? In this episode, Tres gives some practical wisdom on how to foster harmony and bond effectively as a family. The book mentioned can be found here.
Do nice guys finish last? Why do bad boys get all the acclaim? In this episode, Tres clears away false images of manhood and discusses what true masculinity looks like.
Is it selfish to take care of your own needs? In this episode, Tres gives practical advice on how counselors, pastors, professionals, and parents should take care of themselves to remain effectiveness and avoid burnout. The article mentioned on journaling can be found here.
Why do believers still struggle even after being born again? In this episode, Tres discusses the two types of sin and temptation and how Christ brings renewal and healing to the deepest parts of our hearts.
What is the proper relationship between psychology and the Bible? In this episode, Tres briefly explains the different types of Christian counseling and how each approach views the integration of secular psychology with biblical theology.
In this episode, Tres interviews Dewayne Hawkins, M.C.M. on how he helps couples through challenging times. Dewayne is a Christian counselor and life coach and offers deep insight on how couples can recalibrate their relationship and engage with one another. Learn more about Dewayne and his services on his website.