Diary, She Wrote - SoundSage

View Details

If you’ve listened to the other 23 episodes of Diary, She Wrote, you may have picked up on some of my insecurities. These mainly centre around not feeling intelligent enough and not talking enough in social situations. After a therapy session and with the therapists comments in mind I read back over my time at school and it became obvious how year after year my school’s class rating system and some teachers' comments were no doubt partly responsible for installing my perception of my intelligence which in turn impacts my confidence when it comes to talking up in social situations. I had been aware of my insecurities all my life but they only really started to surface and to become a hindrance in my mid 30’s, so in order to try and figure out how to better deal with them I went to see said therapist.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Flossie, Ryan, Nina & Cara - London friends

Paula - My therapist

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Eric - A guy I dated

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

View Details

The last we heard from Dexter Turner was in November 2018 when I was in Paris for my 37th birthday, he rang and then looked into Eurostar tickets to see if he could afford to join me for a night. He didn’t, but of course that was never going to be the last time I heard from him...

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Dexter Turner - A guy who briefly entered and quickly exited my life on a number of occasions and unjustifiably has become one of those people who is hard to shake off and annoyingly someone I’m quite fond of.

Beth - My best mate

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Hayley, Nina, Ryan, Jade, Tori, Monty - London friends

George - An amazing man who I dated for 3 months

Maya - A girl I met in a Club in Nottingham, had what I thought was a one night stand, but it turned into something a little more complicated.

Eric - A guy I dated

Isaac - A London friend and the first man I fancied after ending an 11 year relationship

Billie - A holiday fling

Entertainment References:

Barbican - Beatie Wolfe, From Red to Green - An Environmental Statement of our Times

https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2019/event/from-green-to-red

He’s Just Not That Into You

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He's_Just_Not_That_Into_You_(film)

Friends With Benefits

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends_with_Benefits_(film)

Millennial Love Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/millennial-love/id1286791385

Constellations

https://www.robertrowlandsmith.com/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

View Details

I didn’t experience your standard university life, from 2000 - 2003 I went to a tiny little art college in Epsom, called The Surrey Institute of Art & Design to study Fashion Promotion & Illustration. There were probably only about 1,500 students on campus, no halls of residence, only student houses, the cafeteria doubled up as the student union bar and the opening of a new Yates & Wetherspoons was as exciting as it got. There were 2 locations you could loosely call a club, and then there was the Odeon cinema.

I found the first year very up and down. I am dramatically hating life one day and then loving it the next. For the most part I was jealous of my school friends living out the stereotypical student life in city centres like Leeds, Sheffield and Liverpool. I didn’t appreciate the new friendships I was building, as I was comparing 6-month friendships to ones that I had cultivated over 6 years and in my first year of uni I was obsessed with wanting to be friends with the group I deemed to be the popular & cool crowd. At school, everyone knew me, and I found it so difficult to suddenly be in a space where no one cared who I was.

I don’t have any student stories or endless drinking or constant partying. But what I will share are my coming of age experiences over my 3 years at uni; moving away from home for the first time, making new friends, learning how to self motivate, recognising my potential and finding a career focussed job in the industry I had aspired to work in since religiously watching The Clothes Show on TV every Sunday night as a teenager.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Beth - My best mate

Ashley, Ellie, Dawn, Sally, Harriet, Amber, Erica - Some of my oldest friends

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Locations:

The Surrey Institute of Art & Design - Now called

https://www.uca.ac.uk/life-at-uca/locations/epsom/

Odeon Epsom

https://www.odeon.co.uk/cinemas/epsom/

Wetherspoons Cheadle Hulme

https://www.greatukpubs.co.uk/kings-tap-cheadle-hulme?utm_source=google&utm_medium=local_seo_gmb&utm_content=website

Topshop Oxford Circus

https://www.businessoffashion.com/news/retail/topshops-flagship-oxford-street-store-up-for-sale

Entertainment References:

The Clothes Show

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Clothes_Show

Harry Potter 2001

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Philosopher's_Stone_(film)

Graduate Fashion Week

https://www.graduatefashionweek.com/

Helmet Newton Photo Machine

https://www.dazeddigital.com/fashion/article/168/1/topshops-newton-machine

Topshop Unique LFW

https://www.vogue.com/fashion-shows/spring-2006-ready-to-wear/topshop-unique

Dazed and Confused

https://www.dazeddigital.com/

Twenty Twenty Podcast

https://messageheard.com/podcasts/twenty-twenty-pop-culture-podcast

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

View Details

This story is taken from a 7 month period from November 2018 - May 2019 and it follows 3 overlapping dating encounters with; Miles, Clive & tall Neil, all with very different and unexpected outcomes. Sometimes you get what you want out of dating, sometimes you don’t and sometimes you end up with a total surprise.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Miles - A guy I dated

Jack - An amazing man who I dated for 2 months

Elliot Lite - A Parisian fling

Clive - A guy I dated

Reggie - A guy I dated

George - An amazing man who I dated for 3 months

Tall Neil - A guy I dated

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Beth - My best mate

Morgan, Ned, Michelle & Heather - A London friend

Locations:

Victoria Park

https://www.towerhamlets.gov.uk/lgnl/leisure_and_culture/parks_and_open_spaces/victoria_park/victoria_park.aspx

100 Club

https://www.the100club.co.uk/

The Victoria

http://www.jaguarshoes.com/venues/the-victoria/

3 Compasses

https://www.3compasses.com/

The Spread Eagle

https://www.thespreadeaglelondon.co.uk/

Star by Hackney Downs

https://starbyhackneydowns.co.uk/

My Neighbours The Dumplings

https://www.myneighboursthedumplings.com/

Pembury Tavern

https://www.pemburytavern.co.uk/

The Good Egg

https://www.thegoodegg.co/

Entertainment References:

This Is England

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_England

Christian Marclay - The Clock

https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/exhibition/christian-marclay-clock

Kate Tempest Running Upon The Wires

https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/running-upon-the-wires-9781635570199/

Free Solo

https://films.nationalgeographic.com/free-solo

It’s Nice To Hear You Podcast

https://www.itsnicetohearyou.com/

Cultural References:

5 languages of love; words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Arthur Aron Theory of the 36 questions

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

View Details

Unfortunately during my 8 years of dating I have been confronted with 4 different uncomfortable encounters, one was with Maya from Ep. 2 - The Hope and one was with James from Ep. 13 - I’ve Changed My Mind. On both of those occasions I was put in uncomfortable and non consensual situations. In this episode I look at 2 stories that draw attention to the safety of women and the instinctual decisions we need to make in the moment when it comes to heterosexual dating.

At the time I was fresh into dating after a long term relationship with a very good man, so perhaps I was quite naive, always thinking I could bring out the best in someone and maybe a little bit vulnerable seeking and enjoying attention and quickly getting consumed in the moment. Fortunately neither of these stories were damaging, but I hope by sharing my experiences it will help others to recognise signs of discomfort, follow their instincts, create boundaries and have the confidence to leave difficult situations.

Tinder launched in 2012, and in the summer of 2013 I remember a friend telling me about this new dating app, and how brilliant it was. I was still a bit of a snob about online dating but eventually I caved and soon got sucked into the world of modern dating.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Stephen Minder - My first Tinder experience

Sam - A guy I dated

Beth - My best mate

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Heather, Jessica, Adina, Stephanie and Melissa - London friends

Frank - A Tinder match

Isaac - A London friend and the first man I fancied after ending an 11 year relationship

Locations:

Broadway Market

https://broadwaymarket.co.uk/

The Spurstowe Arms

http://www.thespurstowearms.com/

The Cock

https://www.facebook.com/CockTavernBrewPub/

Oslo

http://oslohackney.com/

The Haggerston

https://www.facebook.com/thehaggerston/

Pizza East

http://www.pizzaeast.com/

Entertainment References:

Tinder

https://tinder.com

Peaky Blinders

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peaky_Blinders_(TV_series)

Candy Crush

https://www.king.com/game/candycrush

Ariel Too Big To Fail

https://open.spotify.com/album/5vWp4E5iRzx8VEWmESUvl0

Refuge Charity:

Refuge

https://www.refuge.org.uk/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

View Details

Throughout your life, every now and then, you meet someone who goes on to change your life. You’ll have heard me talk a lot about Rowan throughout the podcast. I met Rowan in 2012 and over the course of time she changed my life for the better and I am incredibly grateful. We worked together for a few years where our friendship began to form, but it was only when she moved on to a new job that we really started to bond and she invited me into her world and to meet her friends and I was welcomed by an amazing group of people who went on to help shape my next chapter; they make me laugh, they inspire me and I learn so much from them and I am always in a very happy place when I’m with them. Between 2015 - 2019 we would always rent a house in the country to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Each year it was never the exact same group of friends, as some would have work or have family commitments or might be celebrating elsewhere, but that meant we could then invite others which allowed us to continue to expand the friendship circle. I’ve picked out 2 of our New Year celebrations, and with it being New Year there are quite a few drug references in this episode, but for me this is a story about the love of friendship, creating shared memories and the joy of merging friends.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Flossie, Jay, Cara, Walt, Anne, Ryan, Nina, Morgan, Adam, Chloe, Morgan, Tim, Dave, Mary - London friends

Locations:

Lumiere - now closed down

http://lumierelondon.blogspot.com/

Tywyn Wales

https://www.visitmidwales.co.uk/Tywyn-Tywyn/details/?dms=3&venue=1023165

Kings Lynn

https://www.visitwestnorfolk.com/places/kings-lynn/

Entertainment References:

Frozen

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frozen_(2013_film)

12 Years a Slave

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_Years_a_Slave_(film)

Elf

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elf_(film)

Zootopia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zootopia

The Mannequin Challenge

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mannequin_Challenge

Ecstasy: The Battle of Rave

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p08qw04h

Beats

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beats_(2019_British_film)

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

View Details

In the 8 years I’ve been single I’ve had; many late night snogs, countless first dates, a few one night stands and occasionally just some really intense interactions. This episode is similar to the festival episode from series 2, rather than one overarching story, I’ve picked out a series of 8 short stories that involve a fleeting connection between me and one other person and somehow all made an impact in one way or another. I’ll share them in chronological order starting in 1994 with my first kiss.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Tim - My first kiss

Matt - My first date

Johnny - A one night stand

Julian - A guy I dated

Ian - A first date

Graham - A first date

Jimmy - My carpenter

Harry - A first date

Locations:

Stockport Cinema

http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/25390

Visions Video Bar - Now closed down

https://www.facebook.com/visionsvideodalston/

Clapton Hart

https://claptonhart.com/

Hunter S

http://www.thehunter-s-pub.co.uk/

Duke of Wellington

https://www.frontierpubs.co.uk/your-local/duke-of-wellington-dalston-pub/

Lambeth Country Show

https://lambethcountryshow.co.uk/

Entertainment References:

Oasis - Definitely Maybe

https://open.spotify.com/album/3LzKUdUTdJb6P7xGN6SotC

Blue - Parklife

https://open.spotify.com/album/0YS25Dr3hMtMFlVTfuvzl4

Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don't_Forget_Your_Toothbrush

Matilda

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matilda_(1996_film)

The Handmaid’s Tale

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Handmaid's_Tale_(TV_series)

Get Birding Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/get-birding/id1551111133

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

View Details

In this episode I share another modern dating story, looking at the excitement of meeting someone new, the confusion that comes with those first few dates; breaking down messages, interpreting gestures and trying to remember that we all communicate in very different ways.

Follow: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Reggie - A guy I dated

Paige, Chloe, John, Flossie, Faith, Cara - London friends

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single year

Beth - My best mate

Paula - My therapist

Jack - An amazing man who I dated for 2 months

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

George - An amazing man who I dated for 3 months

Locations:

Springfield Park

https://hackney.gov.uk/springfield-park

Princess of Wales

https://www.princessofwalesclapton.co.uk/

Cafe Miami - Now closed down

https://www.facebook.com/cafemiamilondon/

Westbourne Pub

https://www.thewestbourne.com/

Giant Steps

http://www.giant--steps.com/

Jim’s Cafe

https://jimscafe.co.uk/

The Elderfield

https://www.theelderfield.co.uk/

Chatsworth Road

http://www.chatsworthroade5.co.uk/

Entertainment References:

Childish Gambino - This is America

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYOjWnS4cMY

Christo Barrel Exhibition

https://www.serpentinegalleries.org/whats-on/christo-and-jeanne-claude-barrels-and-mastaba-1958-2018/

Informer - Snow

https://open.spotify.com/track/2LjiPAQOVazT8sRyXL3XRs

The Sun and Her Flowers - Rupi Kaur

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35606560-the-sun-and-her-flowers

LOVE

https://www.netflix.com/title/80026506

In Good Company Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/in-good-company/id1294215581

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth and artwork by Robbie Porter.

View Details

I had been captivated by Japan, perhaps since the early 2000’s when Bill Murray and Scarlette Johanson brought the delights of Tokyo to my attention via Lost In Translation. This was shortly followed by developing a curiosity in Japanese street style whilst studying Fashion Promotion and Illustration at university. Then as my interest in interiors started to develop, so did my interest in Japan’s calming and simplistic style, quite the contrast to the chaotic Japan I had first been presented with. Their juxtaposition of cultures was enchanting, but equally overwhelming and despite it being top of my holiday list for some time and being comfortable holidaying alone, when it came to Japan, I was waiting to meet someone, so I could enter and guide my way through what seemed like a bewildering other world with someone else's support. But then I thought fuck it, stop waiting, just go and it was the best solo holiday I could have hoped for.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Billie - A holiday fling

Locations:

Yogi Park, Tokyo

https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3034_002.html

Cat Street

https://www.japanvisitor.com/tokyo-area-guides/catstreettokyo

Opening Ceremony

https://www.openingceremony.com/en-gb/

City Shop

http://cityshop.tokyo/

Shibuya Crossing

https://www.lonelyplanet.com/japan/tokyo/attractions/shibuya-crossing/a/poi-sig/396831/356817

Fushimi Inari-taisha (Red Pillar Temple)

https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3915.html

Arashiyama Bamboo Grove

https://www.insidekyoto.com/arashiyama-bamboo-grove

Kinkakuji (Golden Pavilion)

https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e3908.html

Kyoto Onsen

https://www.insidekyoto.com/kyotos-best-onsen-hot-spring-baths

Naoshima Island

https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e5475.html

Dans Le Noir

https://london.danslenoir.com/unusual-restaurant-in-london.html

Benesse House

https://benesse-artsite.jp/en/stay/benessehouse/

The Park Hyatt Plaza - The New York Bar

https://www.hyatt.com/en-US/hotel/japan/park-hyatt-tokyo/tyoph

Kaikaya By The Sea

http://www.kaikaya.com/

Oath

https://www.residentadvisor.net/club.aspx?id=16967

Mori Digital Museum

https://borderless.teamlab.art/

Cultural References:

Yayoi Kusama

http://yayoi-kusama.jp/e/information/

Entertainment References:

Lost In Translation

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_in_Translation_(film)

Normal People

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normal_People

Greta Thunberg School Strike

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greta_Thunberg

Gwen Steffani - Harajuka Girls

https://open.spotify.com/album/3Lqn8M0QxPLIPRJ4nUKTGN?highlight=spotify:track:3L7P7HZVQ3wxzKoUyxaC9H

Lost In Tokyo

https://lostin.com/products/lost-in-tokyo

Katy Perry Roar

https://open.spotify.com/album/2bELFHKEF8yIDHMelNab2p

Pulp Common People

https://open.spotify.com/album/3ly9T2L4pqTZijFgQssd3x?highlight=spotify:track:2fXKyAyPrEa24c6PJyqznF

Snow Informer

https://open.spotify.com/track/2LjiPAQOVazT8sRyXL3XRs

Queen Don’t Stop Me Now

https://open.spotify.com/track/3lrNq7iGL5r3KS93YiKAbC

Pulp Fiction

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pulp_Fiction

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

I had always been turned on by the female body, when I masturbated and sometimes when I was having sex with a guy I would imagine I was with a woman. But I never knew if it was just a fantasy. I had one memory of being attracted to a female friend when I was 19 and then I dated Dan for 11 years. But at the age of 31, when I was single again I started to fancy another female friend, so I changed my dating app settings to include women so I could fully explore my desire.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Rachel - The first girl I fancied

Carrie - A friend

Susie, Sophie, Holly - Some of my oldest friends

Adina, Stephanie, Melissa, Heather, Patrick - London friends

Stephen Minder - An uncomfortable encounter before #metoo

Beth - My best mate

Adele - A one night stand

Locations:

Stories - Now closed

https://www.timeout.com/london/bars-and-pubs/stories

Pizza East

https://www.pizzaeast.com/

Chiltern Street Firehouse

http://www.chilternfirehouse.com/

Entertainment References:

The Strokes - Is This It

https://open.spotify.com/album/2k8KgmDp9oHrmu0MIj4XDE

Destiny’s Child - Survivor

https://open.spotify.com/album/2HcjLD0ButtKsQYqzoyOx9

Mariah Carey - Glitter

https://open.spotify.com/album/5fN9sJIh7mAXBsb3mvX7A1

Camp America

https://www.usasummercamp.com/

Tinder

https://tinder.com/?lang=en-GB

Burning Man

https://burningman.org/

Florence and The Machine

https://florenceandthemachine.net/

Happn

https://www.happn.com/en/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

Despite keeping a diary, I don’t remember all of the first dates I’ve been on, but I do remember my first Tinder date and the story that followed. This is a short story about wrong decisions from both parties, but it’s an important one to share. I faced a similar situation a year later and once again it wasn’t dealt with in the right way but the third time it happened in 2018 the world had changed and I felt comfortable expressing my decision.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

James - A guy I dated

Isaac - A London friend and the first man I fancied after ending an 11 year relationship

Jared - A one night stand

Harry - A guy I dated

Julian - A guy I dated

Rowan - One of my best mates I met in my single years

Beth - My best mate

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Eric - A guy I dated

Locations:

White Hart

https://whitehartstokenewington.com/

The Victoria

http://www.jaguarshoes.com/venue/the-victoria/

Ace Hotel

https://www.acehotel.com/london/

The Duke Of Wellington

https://www.frontierpubs.co.uk/your-local/duke-of-wellington-dalston-pub/

Cultural References:

Tippi Hedren - The Birds

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tippi_Hedren

Entertainment References:

Tinder

https://tinder.com/?lang=en-GB

Breaking Bad

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breaking_Bad

Little Mix - Shout Out to My Ex

https://open.spotify.com/album/4TvPWe1vbrh0hozmCoSFRI

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

Throughout my twenties I wasn’t interested in going to festivals. I rarely listened to new music, my morning alarm would be joined by Magic FM playing the same songs on repeat that I’d known all my life. I also didn’t like the thought of camping, the dirt, the portaloo's, the greasy hair. I just didn’t think I’d enjoy it. And then as part of my transition into single life I dipped my toe into Field Day in London - a one day festival within walking distance of my flat which I obviously loved, from here I moved on to Glastonbury and others followed.

Due to CoronaVirus all our festivals have been cancelled for 2020, so for a bit of nostalgia, I thought it would be nice to share some festival experiences and dedicate an episode to our absent festivals. This episode takes a slightly different approach to others because it features 6 individual events rather than one overarching story over time.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries

https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Beth - My best mate

Heather, Jessica, Bob, Dave, Flossie, Charlotte, Jay, Nina, Sylvia, Caitlin, Adam, Vera, Ian, Jeff, Sasha, Patrick, Hayley, Gina, Heidi, Kristin, Megan, Helen, Lee, Shane, Eddy - London friends

Dustin, Poppy - American friends

Isaac - A London friend and the first man I fancied after ending my 11 year relationship

Gerard - A festival hook up

Vince - A guy I dated

Jill - A festival crush

Corey - A festival kiss

Locations:

Field Day

https://fielddayfestivals.com/

Glastonbury

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/Areas/shangri-la/

https://www.facebook.com/lizardstage/

https://www.facebook.com/The-Rabbit-Hole-at-Glastonbury-Festival-226177724076526/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/areas/pyramid-stage/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/areas/west-holts/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/line-up-2020-item/the-crows-nest/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/areas/the-green-fields/croissant-neuf/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/areas/the-park/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/areas/the-glade/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/areas/beat-hotel/

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/areas/arcadia/

Burning Man

https://burningman.org/

Green Man Festival

https://www.greenman.net/

Festival No. 6

https://festivalnumber6.com/

Shambala Festival

https://www.shambalafestival.org/

https://www.shambalafestival.org/2020/venue/chai-wallahs/

https://www.shambalafestival.org/2020/venue/rebel-soul/

https://www.facebook.com/WombyView/

Cultural References:

Same Sex Couples Act 2013

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2013/30/contents/enacted

StoneHenge

https://www.english-heritage.org.uk/visit/places/stonehenge/

Temple Project in Derry

https://www.artichoke.uk.com/project/temple/

Entertainment References:

Magic FM

https://www.radio-uk.co.uk/magic-fm

Broadchurch

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broadchurch

Get Lucky by Daft Punk

https://open.spotify.com/album/2ePFIvZKMe8zefATp9ofFA

Savages

https://open.spotify.com/artist/1WFsBUAgQmrGQQEUyFKS60

Solange

https://open.spotify.com/artist/2auiVi8sUZo17dLy1HwrTU

Everything Everything

https://open.spotify.com/artist/1HOeqtP7tHkKNJNLzQ2tnr

Django Django

https://open.spotify.com/artist/2ARO60gI5do88ho6azmzab

Drunken Sailor

https://open.spotify.com/album/5iyQuCFO65zkVXaqtBYFuo

Alice In Wonderland

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice's_Adventures_in_Wonderland

Blondie

https://open.spotify.com/artist/4tpUmLEVLCGFr93o8hFFIB

Guardian

https://www.theguardian.com/uk

Lily Allen

https://www.lilyallenmusic.com/

Tune Yards

https://open.spotify.com/artist/0asVlqTLu3TimnYVyY5Jxi

John Wizards

https://open.spotify.com/artist/4sPLhyVBoVtdlX0MaetdVK

Duncan and Disorderly

https://open.spotify.com/artist/78eJd4sr3KsjCukSow56Ut

Lana Del Rey

https://open.spotify.com/artist/00FQb4jTyendYWaN8pK0wa

Jagwar Ma

https://open.spotify.com/artist/6fEO1r9Y9TYL9O4w5kVPmc

Jon Hopkins

https://open.spotify.com/artist/7yxi31szvlbwvKq9dYOmFI

Jamie XX

https://open.spotify.com/artist/7A0awCXkE1FtSU8B0qwOJQ

Dolly Parton

https://open.spotify.com/artist/32vWCbZh0xZ4o9gkz4PsEU

Glass Animals

https://open.spotify.com/artist/4yvcSjfu4PC0CYQyLy4wSq

James Blake

https://open.spotify.com/artist/53KwLdlmrlCelAZMaLVZqU

Kate Tempest

https://open.spotify.com/artist/1O3wYcUD08X9yb6J3xaw5M

Thelma and Louise

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thelma_%26_Louise

Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

https://open.spotify.com/album/2vDNi8F9UpSCaBHeKQ3nzh?highlight=spotify:track:3lrNq7iGL5r3KS93YiKAbC

These Arms Of Mine - Otis Redding

https://open.spotify.com/track/5kDMkphwMFCiRn0MVyykjQ

Tiny Dancer - Elton John

https://open.spotify.com/album/2OZbaW9tgO62ndm375lFZr?highlight=spotify:track:2TVxnKdb3tqe1nhQWwwZCO

War Paint

https://open.spotify.com/artist/3AmgGrYHXqgbmZ2yKoIVzO

DJ Yoda

https://open.spotify.com/artist/134rP599PLJMjrccfctkmX

Informer - Snow

https://open.spotify.com/track/2LjiPAQOVazT8sRyXL3XRs

Hot Chip

https://open.spotify.com/artist/37uLId6Z5ZXCx19vuruvv5

Don’t Look Back In Anger - Oasis

https://open.spotify.com/track/19Jo73ISw9N9UVraSYBTr5

Orbital

https://open.spotify.com/artist/3csPCeXsj2wezyvkRFzvmV

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

This story is about my 10 day solo holiday in Mexico in Oct 2016. It touches on loneliness, lust and communication.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Antonio - The Hot Waiter

Locations:

Chichen Itza

https://www.chichenitza.com/

Casa Jaguar

https://www.casajaguartulum.com/

Casa Banana

https://www.instagram.com/casabananatulum/?hl=en

Posada Margherita

https://www.posadamargherita.com/

Entertainment References:

Bridget Jones Baby

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridget_Jones's_Baby

Harry Potter and The Cursed Child

https://www.jkrowling.com/book/harry-potter-cursed-child/

Jamie XX, Gosh

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6hXkrOoS5XhXsp2XG5PNi9

Amelie

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amélie

Tinder

https://tinder.com/?lang=en-GB

Jurassic Park

http://www.jurassicworld.com/films/jurassic-park

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

On 31st December 1998 I met a guy called Macey from the year above me at school. I go on to talk about Macey for 116 of the 365 days of 1999. If I heard he was going out, I would go out, I would sit at home imagining he would call my landline, despite him not having my phone number, I learnt his lesson plan and knew that when I walked along the school path between my Psychology and Art classes I would pass him. Every time I would prepare myself to look up, lock eye contact and smile, it’s a simple concept, it makes you look more attractive, but, every time I would fail.

Macey plays a big role in this story, but this is really all about a 17 year old who wants to be noticed, I wanted people to call me pretty, I wanted people to describe me as fun, I wanted people to recognise how hard I worked, I wanted to be rewarded with the role of house captain for my sporting achievements, I wanted to be patted on the back for organising a charity fashion show, and embarrassingly I wanted people to notice my family's wealth.

As I’m 17 I am lazy and use the word ‘cos’ instead of ‘because,’ my writing is quite chaotic and I am also very unaware of my white privilege. I was brought up in a white middle class area, a bubble of security. I’m ashamed to say I thought it was normal to live in a semi detached house, to have annual family holidays, to never have to think about where the next meal was coming from. When I went to university I began to understand that this was not the case, but it still took me a good 10 years to really start to unpick this. I’ve learnt from friends I’ve met along the way, I’ve learnt from reading, listening, following activists and I still have a lot to learn.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Macey - My school crush

Beth - My best mate

Lily, Holly, Georgie, Ashley, Erica, Susie, Ben - Some of my oldest friends

Polly - A friend at school

Mum, Dad - Family

Annabelle - Macey’s school crush

Kev - Another school crush

Locations:

Wetherspoons Cheadle Hulme

https://www.greatukpubs.co.uk/kings-tap-cheadle-hulme?utm_source=google&utm_medium=local_seo_gmb&utm_content=website

Governors House

https://www.greeneking-pubs.co.uk/pubs/cheshire/governors-house/

Zest, Wilmslow

Now closed down

Surrey Institute of Art & Design

https://www.uca.ac.uk/

Bar Med, Manchester

Now closed down

Pizza Express

https://www.pizzaexpress.com/

Renaissance

Now closed down

Cultural References:

UCAS

https://www.ucas.com/

Entertainment References:

Saving Private Ryan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saving_Private_Ryan

Shakespeare In Love

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shakespeare_in_Love

There’s Something About Mary

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There's_Something_About_Mary

Prince, 1999

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1999_(Prince_album)

S Club 7

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S_Club_7

Five

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_(group)

Seven

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_(1995_film)

Robbie Williams

https://www.robbiewilliams.com/

White Men Can’t Jump

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Men_Can't_Jump

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel

https://open.spotify.com/album/0JwHz5SSvpYWuuCNbtYZoV

Gatecrasher

https://www.gatecrasher.com/

Kylie Minogue

https://www.kylie.com/

Ally McBeal

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ally_McBeal

Now and Then

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Now_and_Then_(film)

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

Having spent time dating Jack, which had been the closest thing to a relationship for me in 5 years. It had made me realise that when I do meet the right person, it’s likely I will want kids to be part of our future. There is endless research you can do when it comes to learning about the fertility of women at various stages of their life. But The British Fertility Society says that ‘At birth, most girls have about 2 million eggs, at adolescence that number has gone down to about 400,000 and at age 37 there remain about 25,000. As I was approaching 36 I made the decision to use my savings to freeze my eggs.

And by no means is freezing your eggs a guarantee of conception, but it does act as a little security blanket. For me, the entire process lasted about 4 months, my clinic closely monitored my menstrual cycles, there were endless blood tests and scans, they prescribed the relevant medication to first get my hormones to the optimum level and to then stimulate my egg growth. I had to inject my own medication and the closer it got to my egg removal date, the more I had to do, some days I’d have 2 blood tests and I’d do 3 injections at various points throughout the day. It was an upheaval on my body, both physically and mentally.

Reading back it was quite a tricky time to reflect on, I was suddenly acutely aware and envious of my friends developing family situations and I think this was one of the loneliest points of my 30’s and where my desire to meet someone was at its peak.

The episode is taken from a 5 month period from Sept 2017 - Feb 2018. You will hear me repeat the last day from Episode 1 - Dexter Turner as the stories cross over the same time period.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Jack - An amazing man who I dated for 2 months

Beth - My best mate

Willow - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Dawn, Tim - Some of my oldest friends

Simone, Faith, Heather, Chloe, Mel - London friends

Mum - Family

Todd - A guy I dated

Locations:

Columbia Road Flower Market

http://www.columbiaroad.info/

Wilton’s Music Hall

https://www.wiltons.org.uk/

Crooked Billet

https://e5crookedbillet.co.uk/

Prince George

https://theprincegeorgepub.co.uk/

House of Hackney

https://www.houseofhackney.com/

Goodhood

https://goodhoodstore.com/

Cultural References:

Grenfell Tower

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40301289

International Women’s Day

https://www.internationalwomensday.com/

Entertainment References:

Notting Hill Carnival

https://www.thelondonnottinghillcarnival.com/

Happn

https://www.happn.com/en/

Les Enfants Terribles:

https://lesenfantsterribles.co.uk/

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Billboards_Outside_Ebbing,_Missouri

Medical References:

ARGC Egg Freezing Clinic:

https://argc.co.uk/

Chlamydia

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/chlamydia/

STI

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/visiting-an-sti-clinic/

AMH:

https://www.createfertility.co.uk/fertility-diagnosis/amh

NHS:

https://www.nhs.uk/

IVF Treatment

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ivf/availability/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth.

View Details

When you are in your mid thirties and you meet someone of a similar age who is at the same stage of their life as you; i.e. not newly single, they’ve have had some fun dating, they’re looking for a relationship and dating them is going well, it’s really fucking hard to just enjoy it for what it is, stop your mind running away to the future and just let the relationship develop at a normal pace.

You are aware that this is a rare occurrence, in your eyes and for your needs, you have met a good one. From 2013 - 2017, out of the hundreds of first dates I went on, I liked maybe 10% of them, so if they also liked me, they turned into second dates, and maybe 10% of those second dates turned into third dates which leaves a very small handful of people who I have genuinely liked and they have liked me in return and therefore I have wanted to potentially develop a relationship with. This story is about one of those people.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Jack - An amazing man who I dated for 2 months

Beth - My best mate

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Willow - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Caitlin, Ollie, Mandy, Gavin, Tim, Chloe, Mary, Flossie - London friends

Brother, Mum, Dad - Family

Liam - A guy I dated

Stephen Minder - An uncomfortable encounter before #metoo

George - An amazing man who I dated for 3 months

Locations:

Beyond Retro

https://www.beyondretro.com/

Pelicans and Parrots

https://pelicansandparrots.com/

John Salt Pub

https://www.john-salt.com/

The Gun

http://www.thegunwellstreet.com/

Chesham Arms

http://www.cheshamarms.com/

Yard Sale Pizza

https://yardsalepizza.com/

Osea Island

https://www.oseaisland.co.uk/

Uchi

http://uchihackney.com/

Clapton Hart

https://claptonhart.com/

Millfields

https://www.millfieldscoffee.co.uk/

Behind This Wall

https://www.behindthiswall.com/

Bonneville

No closed

Pamelas

https://pamelabar.com/

Groucho Club

https://www.thegrouchoclub.com/

Hampstead Heath

https://www.hampsteadheath.net/

Cultural References:

Ariana Grande Concert

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/manchester-bombing-live-updates-latest-13075807

Entertainment References:

Fyre Festival

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-46904445

GIRLS

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girls_(TV_series)

Guardian Soulmates

https://www.theguardian.com/help/insideguardian/2020/jul/01/guardian-soulmates-has-come-to-an-end

Design Museum, California Exhibition

https://designmuseum.org/exhibitions/california-designing-freedom

Darren Miller

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darren_Miller

Baby Driver

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_Driver

Visions Festival

http://visionsfestival.com/

SOPHIE

https://msmsmsm.com/

This Is England

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_England

My Girl

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Girl_(film)

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell in partnership with Bird Lime Media with original music by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

This week's episode is taken from the shortest time period, just 5 days of diary entries. I think it’s a great example of a Sliding Doors moment, there is a point in the story where I am offered a glass of red wine, and had I said no, I would have had a totally different 5 day experience.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Elliot Lite - A Parisian fling

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Beth - My best mate

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Brother, Dad - Family

Miles - A guy I dated

Laura - A London friend

Locations:

Hotel Amore

https://www.hotelamourparis.fr/en/

Merci

https://www.merci-merci.com/en/

Poulette

https://www.pouletterestaurant.com/

Berghain

https://www.berghain.berlin/en/

Palais De Tokyo

https://www.palaisdetokyo.com/en

Eiffel Tower

https://www.eiffeltickets.com/

Louvre

https://www.louvre.fr/en

Chez Janou

http://www.chezjanou.com/

Sacre Coeur

http://www.sacre-coeur-montmartre.com/english/

Pompidou Centre

https://www.centrepompidou.fr/en

Jim's Cafe

https://jimscafe.co.uk/

Cultural References:

100 Year WW1 Anniversary

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_World_War_centenary

Single-use

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/single-use

Entertainment References:

Sliding Doors

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sliding_Doors

Jodie Whittaker

https://www.instagram.com/jodie.whittakeruk/

Dr Who

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Who

Thierry Henry

https://www.instagram.com/thierryhenry/

Terminator 2

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminator_2:_Judgment_Day

Speed

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_(1994_film)

Die Hard 3

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die_Hard_with_a_Vengeance

Love Actually

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Actually

Whiplash

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiplash_(2014_film)

Lost In Paris

https://lostin.com/products/lost-in-paris

Photo Paris

https://www.parisphoto.com/en/Home/

Fotografiska

https://www.fotografiska.com/london/

Saatchi Gallery

https://www.saatchigallery.com/

Blue Is The Warmest Colour

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Is_the_Warmest_Colour

Ralph Lauren

https://www.ralphlauren.co.uk/

Daniel Day Lewis

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Day-Lewis

Dr Martens

https://www.drmartens.com/uk/en_gb/

Killing Eve

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_Eve

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

This week's episode is taken from April 2014 and is about the highs and the lows of dating in London. Dating apps were just beginning to really take off, but it wasn’t rare to still meet people in real life. This story features another guy who plays a big role in my life, but of course when I first met him, I didn’t know the impact he was going to have and I love that I have my first impression of him captured in my diary.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Ashlee, Lily, Dawn, Tim - Some of my oldest friends

Beth - My best mate

Eric Taylor - The God who solved my vaginismus

Heather, Brittany, Jacob, Katie, Matt, Atlas, Caroline, Dillon, Adina, Dave, James, Mick, Marie - London friends

Sam - A guy I dated

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Mum - Family

Isaac - A London friend and the first man I fancied after ending my 11 year relationship

Johnny - A one night stand

Locations:

The Spurstowe Arms

http://www.thespurstowearms.com/

The Prince George

http://www.theprincegeorgepub.co.uk/

Voodoo Rays

http://voodoorays.com/

Royal Free Hospital

https://www.royalfree.nhs.uk/

Floyd’s

Restaurant on Shacklewell Lane, Hackney, now closed

Towpath Cafe

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Towpath-Cafe/118939978161114

Shacklewell Arms

http://www.shacklewellarms.com/

HBV Dalston

https://www.hackneyicare.org.uk/kb5/hackney/asch/service.page?id=WV1aOPYUtQ0

Euston Station

https://www.nationalrail.co.uk/stations_destinations/eus.aspx

Trangallan

https://www.trangallan.com/

Scolt Head

https://www.thescolthead.co.uk/

Efes

Snooker Club on Stoke Newington Road, now closed

The Alibi

Club on Kingsland High Street, now closed

Rita’s Dining

https://www.ritasdining.com/

Oslo

http://oslohackney.com/

Dalston Kingsland Centre

http://www.kingslandshopping.com/

Entertainment References:

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin consciously uncouple after 10 years of marriage

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2014/mar/26/conscious-uncoupling-gwyneth-paltrow-chris-martin-separation

The Grand Budapest Hotel

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Grand_Budapest_Hotel

The Ice Bucket Challenge

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_Bucket_Challenge

Tinder

https://tinder.com

David Gandy

https://www.instagram.com/davidgandy_official/?hl=en

Jack Guiness

https://www.instagram.com/jackguinness/?hl=en

Alexa Chung

https://www.instagram.com/alexachung/?hl=en

Friday Night Lights

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friday_Night_Lights_(TV_series)

Glastonbury

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/

Medical References:

Vaginismus

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

After I split up with Dan, who I’d spent the whole of my twenties with, I was faced with a situation where many of my friends were now married, had started a family and were moving out of London to buy a home. I realised that over the last 11 years I’d not made an effort to expand my friendship circle other than the friends I’d naturally made at university & at work. And despite feeling lonely at points, I was still excited about single life, I saw it as an opportunity. I always knew London was one of the most exciting places to live, I was in awe of the lives others lived and I knew I was just skimming the service, I wanted to meet new people, stay out all night, go on dates & try new things.

This week's reading is taken from April - Aug 2013 and they are predominantly about one amazing man, and now a friend, he was the first guy I fancied after ending my 11 year relationship, and they touch on my first steps into dating and ALL the confusion that comes with it.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Beth - My best mate

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Isaac - A London friend and the first man I fancied after ending my 11 year relationship

Ollie, Atlas, Heather, Caroline, Holly - London Friends

Lily, Alf, Susie, Ellie - Some of my oldest friends

Jared - A one night stand

Locations:

Shoreditch House

https://www.shoreditchhouse.com/

Columbia Road

http://www.columbiaroad.info/

The Fox

Pub on Kingsland Road - Now closed down

Scolt Head

https://www.thescolthead.co.uk/

Duke of Wellington

https://www.frontierpubs.co.uk/your-local/duke-of-wellington-dalston-pub/

The Hunter S

http://www.thehunter-s-pub.co.uk/

Kempton Antiques Market

https://www.sunburyantiques.com/kempton/

A Little Bit Of What You Fancy

Restaurant on Kingsland Road - Now closed down

The Dead Dolls Club

Bar on Kingsland Road - Now closed down

John Lewis

https://www.johnlewis.com/

Old Blue Last

https://www.theoldbluelast.com/

Looking Glass Cocktail Club

http://www.lookingglasslondon.co.uk/

Broadway Market

https://broadwaymarket.co.uk/

Off Broadway

https://www.offbroadway.org.uk/

Entertainment References:

David Beckham retires from professional football:

https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/david-beckham-retires-the-time-is-right-to-retire-from-football-8619336.html

Andy Murray Wins Wimbledon

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/tennis/23220414

Miley Cyrus and Robin Thick MTV VMA’s 2013

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/twerk-it-out-miley-and-robins-vma-performance-one-year-later-65286/

Land of Kings

https://www.hackneycitizen.co.uk/2013/04/09/dalston-prepares-land-of-kings-festival/

Grazia Magazine

https://graziadaily.co.uk/

Mud

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mud_(2012_film)

Burning Man

https://burningman.org/

New Girl

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Girl

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

This was a really important story for me to share and I hope this episode will have a positive impact on others who are experiencing similar circumstances. From the age of 20 to 31 I was in a relationship with a very kind, caring and patient man. During our time together I suffered from a medical condition called vaginismus; if you aren’t familiar with the term, it is an involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles making sexual intercourse or any sexual activity that involves penetration painful or impossible. Physically, at points, I was able to have sex but I was in agony with tears welling up, every part of my body tensed and any passion sucked away as if transported to a smear test in a doctors surgery. You will hear about all the things I tried to resolve the issue, vaginal dilators, an operation, psychosexual therapy, hypnotherapy and how it led to a negative association with sex and intimacy. This coupled with perhaps a barrier built up from childhood around what love meant and maybe not emotionally processing my Dad’s death at the age of 15 made for what I realise now was a complicated 11 year relationship, although it didn’t feel like it at the time. As I read back over my diaries I identified certain events that may have caused the condition or worsened it, and no doubt how those events impacted the decisions I made in later life and the ways I reacted during the relationship.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Erica, Dawn, Ellie, Lily - Some of my oldest friends

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012

Macey - My school crush

Mum, Dad - Family

Locations:

Chicago's Epsom - Now closed down

https://www.starbucks.co.uk/

SU Bar Surrey Institute of Art & Design Epsom Campus - Now called https://www.uca.ac.uk/life-at-uca/locations/epsom/

https://www.greeneking-pubs.co.uk/pubs/cheshire/ladybrook/

https://www.annsummers.com/

https://www.mangal2.com/

https://www.libertylondon.com/

Cultural References:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euro

Entertainment References:

The Osbournes reality TV show is just about to launch on MTV

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Osbournes

https://www.campamerica.co.uk/

https://www.trekamerica.com/

Gilbert & George

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilbert_%26_George

Ant & Dec

https://www.antanddec.com/

Medical References:

Vaginismus

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus/

Vaginal Dilators

https://www.ouh.nhs.uk/patient-guide/leaflets/files/30804Pexercises.pdf

Psychosexual Therapy

https://www.letstalkaboutit.nhs.uk/other-services/psychosexual-counselling/

Hypnotherapy

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hypnotherapy/

Smear Test

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cervical-screening/

Vulva Pain Society

http://www.vulvalpainsociety.org/vps/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

This is a sad episode about grief, a subject that can be really hard to talk about, but it’s so important that we make sure these everyday life circumstances are shared and made normal. I am so grateful that I captured my emotions in my diaries during the loss of someone close to me, often when you look back at a time of trauma, everything feels blurred. Cheryl Strayed said that writing forces you to locate your clarity.’ It really does, it’s something I would recommend to anyone going through grief.

The readings are taken over 20 years from 1997 when I was 15 to 2017 when I was 35.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Lily, Holly, Ashlee, Erica - Some of my oldest friends

Toby, Jason - Boys I fancied at school

Beth - My best mate

Dad, Mum, William, Auntie Pat, Nana, Katherine, Ben, Uncle John, Susan, Robert, Grandma - Family

Adina, Melissa - London friends

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Locations:

The Arndale Centre:

https://www.manchesterarndale.com/

Tesco:

https://www.tesco.com/

Red or Dead:

https://www.redordead.com/

M&S:

https://www.marksandspencer.com/

Cultural References:

Midnight Mass:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_Mass

Entertainment References:

Cheryl Strayed:

https://adobe.ly/2MgvIYE

Titanic:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Titanic_(1997_film)

Ellen Degenerous:

https://www.ellentube.com/

Harry Potter:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter

Just Seventeen Magazine:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_Seventeen

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel

https://open.spotify.com/album/2Ot1QoNbmHYTzXQDTuWnvO

Bridge Card Game:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contract_bridge

Duke of Edinburgh Expedition:

https://www.dofe.org/

Silent Night:

https://open.spotify.com/artist/6uDwZqezLnnDRWOoQ69ndA

Rockin’ All Over The World by Status Quo:

https://open.spotify.com/artist/4gIdjgLlvgEOz7MexDZzpM

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

This story looks at when you are trying to make new relationships work, but they fail to develop because one person feels more than the other, so you’re constantly dealing with an imbalance in feelings and different agendas.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Beth - My best mate

George - An amazing man who I dated for 3 months

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single year

Eric - A guy I dated, you’ll hear more about him in Episode 7

Dominique, Alexa - London Friends

The Hot Neighbour - A hot neighbour who I matched with on dating apps several times but never spoke to.

Mum, Auntie Susan - Family

Locations:

Bonneville Lower Clapton Road - Now closed down

The Prince:

http://www.theprincen16.com/

Original Sin:

http://originalsin.bar/

Berber & Q:

https://www.berberandq.com/

The Haggerston:

https://www.facebook.com/thehaggerston/

Liberty:

https://www.libertylondon.com/

The Star of Bethnal Green:

https://starofbethnalgreen.co.uk/

Satan’s Whiskers:

https://www.satanswhiskers.com/

B&Q:

https://www.diy.com/

Farrow & Ball:

https://www.farrow-ball.com/

Fired Earth:

https://www.firedearth.com/

Duke of Wellington:

https://www.frontierpubs.co.uk/your-local/duke-of-wellington-dalston-pub/

Punch Room at The Edition Hotel:

https://www.editionhotels.com/london/restaurants-and-bars/punch-room/

Temper:

https://temperrestaurant.com/

Boots:

https://www.boots.com/

Only Jerkin:

https://www.onlyjerkin.com/

Tate:

https://www.tate.org.uk/visit/tate-modern

Yard Sale Pizza:

https://yardsalepizza.com/

Cultural References:

Hygge:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hygge

Entertainment References:

A Single Man:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Single_Man

Theatre Production of Trainspotting

https://www.thevaults.london/trainspotting

Old Vic Theatre - ART:

https://www.oldvictheatre.com/whats-on/2016/art/

Girls Aloud:

https://open.spotify.com/album/0fRVI6brYacZVE8ljS4Ajq

Trigg Planner:

https://www.thinktrigg.com/

Baby by Donnie & Joe Emerson:

https://open.spotify.com/album/4v9R5sk4HQ0X1krbEis34P?highlight=spotify:track:62wdQ5CInFr7cjISqrr46f

After 8 Challenge:

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=10155001264682122

Happn:

https://www.happn.com/en/

Secret Cinema Moulin Rouge:

https://www.secretcinema.org/previous-worlds/moulin-rouge

The End by The Beatles:

https://open.spotify.com/album/0ETFjACtuP2ADo6LFhL6HN?highlight=spotify:track:5aHHf6jrqDRb1fcBmue2kn

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

This is about the hope, the hope that I hold on to, that reassures me that one day I’ll meet someone amazing, the hope that someone else holds on to, that reassures them that they’ll meet someone amazing and the positive mindset you continuously have to cling on when you’re trying to navigate today’s dating scene when things never seem to go the way you want.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Maya - A girl I met in a Club in Nottingham, had what I thought was a one night stand, but it turned into something a little more complicated.

Liam - A Tinder date who I actually fancied

Alexa, Caitlin, Adam, Cara, Jacob, Faith, Erin, Chloe, Paige, Mary - London friends

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Dad & Mum - Family

Locations:

Soda Pizza:

https://www.sodopizza.co.uk/

Yard Sale Pizza:

https://yardsalepizza.com/

Well & Bucket:

https://wellandbucket.com/

Night Tales:

https://nighttales.co.uk/

Netil House:

https://netil360.com/

The Spurstowe Arms:

http://www.thespurstowearms.com/

EAT:

https://eat.co.uk/

Osea Island:

https://www.oseaisland.co.uk/

Pizza East:

http://www.pizzaeast.com/

Cultural References:

Article 50:

https://www.instituteforgovernment.org.uk/brexit/brexit-brief-article-50

Kendall Jenner Pepsi Advert:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Live_for_Now_(Pepsi)

Eurovision:

https://eurovision.tv/

Entertainment References:

Ed Sheeran 14 weeks at No. 1 in UK Singles Charts:

https://open.spotify.com/album/7oJa8bPFKVbq4c7NswXHw8

Tinder:

https://tinder.com

Shred Workout:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=EL49qdXOA8l_0AmFFSAdCDpA

Barbican The Japanese House Exhibition:

https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2017/event/the-japanese-house-architecture-and-life-after-1945

First Dates:

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/first-dates

Dreamgirls:

https://www.dreamgirlsthemusical.co.uk/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

This story is about one particular guy who briefly entered and quickly exited my life on a number of occasions between 2014 - 2018 and unjustifiably became one of those people who is hard to shake off and annoyingly someone I am quite fond of...

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Key Characters:

Rowan - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Dad - Family

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012.

Grace - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Willow - One of my best mates who I met in my single years

Jack - A guy I dated from Guardian Soulmates. You’ll hear more about him in Series 2

Beth - My best mate

Locations:

http://sebrightarms.com/

http://pubonthepark.com/

Windsor Castle Lower Clapton Road - Now closed down

https://www.wiltons.org.uk/

Cultural References:

Scottish Independence Referendum:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_Scottish_independence_referendum

U.N

https://www.un.org/en/

HeForShe:

https://www.heforshe.org/en

Entertainment References:

Paper Magazine:

https://www.papermag.com/break-the-internet-kim-kardashian-cover-1427450475.html

Baby by Donnie & Joe Emerson:

https://open.spotify.com/album/4v9R5sk4HQ0X1krbEis34P?highlight=spotify:track:62wdQ5CInFr7cjISqrr46f

Fleetwood Mac:

https://open.spotify.com/album/63k57x0qOkUWEMR0dkMivh

Love Actually:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Actually

Guardian Soulmates:

https://soulmates.theguardian.com/

Can Graphic Design Save Your Life Exhibition:

https://wellcomecollection.org/exhibitions/WZwh4ioAAJ3usf86

Les Enfants Terribles:

https://lesenfantsterribles.co.uk/

Medical References:

Chlamydia:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/chlamydia/

AMH:

https://www.createfertility.co.uk/fertility-diagnosis/amh

NHS:

https://www.nhs.uk/

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

View Details

Raw, personal and explicit true stories made from over 9,000 diary entires touching on the complexities of sex, coping with grief and navigating London's dating scene.

A new storytelling podcast by Liz Beardsell.

All names and some factual details have been changed to protect people's identity.

Extract from Episode 1: Dexter Turner

This episode contains sexual content, language listeners may find offensive and references to drug use.

Follow Instagram for more extracts from my Diaries: https://www.instagram.com/diaryshewrote/

Characters:

Dexter Turner - He has briefly entered and quickly exited my life on a number of occasions and unjustifiably has become one of those people who is hard to shake off and annoyingly someone I’m quite fond of.

Rowan - One of my best mates who introduced me to a whole new life in London.

Dan - My ex boyfriend who I spent 11 years with from 2001 - 2012.

Diary, She Wrote was produced by Liz Beardsell, and edited and engineered by Ethan Illingworth

Diary, She Wrote: Recent Episodes

Diary She Wrote, Liz Beardsell