Aussie Mindset Mentor: Recent Episodes
Selina Iddon
Aussie Mindset Mentor podcast is for anyone wanting straight up tools to have breakthroughs, motivation and communication skills for success. Host Selina Iddon has been coaching people to kick their goals for more than 14 years including business professionals, entrepreneurs, equestrians, parents, small business owners... the list goes on. Thing is we are all human and dealing with the same feelings in different scenarios. With her years of experience and passion for people to realise what is possible for themselves, Selina keeps things down to earth so everyone can relate and use the tips and tools she shares. When it comes to personal coaching, Selina challenges those she coaches with a very direct - no BS style and doesn't hold back when it comes to having people live powerfully and with freedom to be their true self. Her mission is to create leaders full of passion, courage and kindness. Call Selina on 0414225265 (Australia)You can follow Selina on facebook at www.facebook.com/SelinaIddonCoaching/ or www.instagram.com/selinaiddon/
Everyone has areas of our life we resist in various ways. Whether you simply gives some things a low priority or you outright wish some things in your life were different, this episode gives an insight to finding freedom and peace in regards to them.
Confidence is belief in ourselves and our ability. Appropriate confidence is such an important quality. This episode simplifies and justifies why we all deserve to be confident.
From our first days at any school we are rewarded by proving we have added to our knowledge; so, understandably we feel to achieve results and reach goals then we must add to our knowledge or add to our skills. Unfortunately as adults outside of institutions, this can move us further from our goals and what makes the difference is what we take away. This podcast explains what I mean.
Compassion is powerful and both admirable and effective qualities of great leaders, empathy however is the opposite. "Empath" is becoming a more popular word for relating to oneself as a good quality and this podcast questions that.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode, particularly if you can think of an example when empathy would be healthy. Email me at selina@equestrianmindset.com.au
We all worry at times, however how much is too much? Have you ever stopped to actually objectify worry? It makes managing it so much easier.
What if you could become happier by simply changing some words you use?
Humans have been given a most precious give, one that sets us apart from all other animals - complex language. Like any powerful thing, how we use it determines the results we will get.
Change and growth is required for success above where we are now. Whether it is for happiness, wealth, health or other, despite what most of us have been taught, the usual work harder, longer, faster approach is actually slower when it comes to our one self.
Time doesn't go fast or slow - that's a perception. Let's consider the reality of time and the impacts of our perceptions.
Language is an expression of what is inside us and it's a two way door.
By swaping out some words we can impact how we experience the world on the inside.
Today's episode is a door to feeling free.
Sorry is an important and powerful word... until you overuse it and diminish its meaning.
Being driven for an outcome can be very effective IF it comes from a conscious place. Before going head first into achieving your goals it is important to check out who is driving.
We quite often mean well when trying to help others, however depending on the language we use can affect both effectiveness and also the experience we leave others with.
If we consciously want to contribute, then our use of language is very important. If you want to make a difference to others and find people not wanting to listen to you, it may well be the words you use are landing as ego rather than contribution.
Passion is powerful. What if consciously used our passion to explode our effectiveness in those areas we are passionate about.
This episode is for the parents out there and it's the no frills answer to the most important thing you can do to raise happy healthy children.
Don't stop listening too early, it may seem like most other "keep telling them they are terrific" solution, it's not.
The difference between being average and excellent may only take an extra 5% effort or one action however the difference could be how many hours you work and how well you are rewarded giving time and finances for your passion.
Todays episode is a little different. It is an argument I wrote for my university studies, therefore more academic, formal format than usual for me.
It felt great to have the research to back up what I have known for years and researched informally - language is powerful and the words we use make a difference to our well-being and leadership.
Below are references for todays episode.
References
Banwart, M 2020, ‘Communication Studies: Effective Communication Leads to Effective Leadership’, New Directions for Student Leadership, vol. 2020, no. 165, pp. 87–97, DOI 10.1002/yd.20371.
Jaffe, CI 2009, Public Speaking: Concepts and skills for a diverse society, 6th edn, Boston, MA: Wadsworth.
Jordan, R 2021, "Topic Notes - Week 9", THEA134/234 Speaking In Public Moodle site, University of New England.
Maslow, A 1954, Motivation and personality, Harper & Row, New York.
McCarthy, P & Hatcher, C 2002, Speaking Persuasively: The Essential Guide to Giving Dynamic Presentations and Speeches, Taylor & Francis, New York.
Obama, B 2011, Address to the British Parliament, University of Virginia, https://millercenter.org/the-presidency/presidential-speeches/may-25-2011-address-british-parliament.
Obama, B 2012, Nominee acceptance speech at 2012 Democratic national convention, University of Virginia, https://millercenter.org/the-presidency/presidential-speeches/september-6-2012-nominee-acceptance-speech-2012-democratic.
Obama, B 2013, Second Inaugural Address, University of Virginia, < https://millercenter.org/the-presidency/presidential-speeches/may-25-2011-address-british-parliament>.
Obama, B 2016, Commencement address at Rutgers University, University of Virginia, https://millercenter.org/the-presidency/presidential-speeches/may-15-2016-commencement-address-rutgers-university.
Pearce, M 2021, Digital 21 Australia: We spend 10% more time online, We are social and Hootsuite, viewed 30 January 2022, <https://wearesocial.com/au/blog/2021/02/digital-2021-australia-we-spend-10-percent-more-time-online/>
Rao, MS 2017, ‘Tools and techniques to boost the eloquence of your body language in public speaking’, Industrial and commercial training, 49(2), pp.75–79, DOI:10.1108/ICT-04-2016-0023.
Seppala, E, Rossomando, T & Doty, JR 2013, ‘Social Connection and Compassion: Important Predictors of Health and Well-Being’, Social Research, vol. 80, no. 2, pp. 1-4
Sogg, S, Grupski, A & Dixon, JB 2018, ‘Bad words: why language counts in our work with bariatric patients’, Surgery for Obesity and Related Diseases, vol. 14, no. 5, pp. 682–692.
Steverink, N & Lindenberg, S 2006, ‘Which social needs are important for subjective well-being? What happens to them with aging?’, Psychology and Aging, vol. 21, no. 2, pp. 281–290.
Juggling 4 or more balls in the air takes training, so does juggling the separate parts of our lives. This podcast is about simplifying how to achieve balance and keep balls in the air.
Today I have celebrated the 5,000th download of my podcasts. Thank you ! Click here for my free "Withdrawal/Deposit Words" giveaway. Click here https://py.pl/1VEh2T
As well as my giveaway this episode is about a very common worm in the apple barrel, the word "try". Listen to hear why.
In this episode I explore two of the major factors in how easy it is to make or break habits - language & environment.
If you are human you have habits. The important thing though is are you choosing them though, or are they controlling you?
So many people try changing or dealing with habits from the ground up, however like a strong tree or even a solid building, it starts with understanding and setting the foundation.
Every habit will take time to break or create, this episode is about making that time as short and easy as possible by getting the ideal start.
We often think of discipline as being trained to conform by use of punishment, an unpleasant experience of being dominated by another person or thing to take away our will however what if the opposite was true. What if the consequences of us following our "feelings" was the punishment. What if our changing and fleeting feelings were robbing us of what we really want, to be happy, healthy and fulfilled? If we change the way we look at discipline and see the freedom available to us then being self-disciplined can become easy.
We all get a little lost in ourselves sometimes, what's important is being able to get ourselves back on track.
Great news is this one is both simple and easy.
Here is how.
More and more people are texting instead of talking. The time of dropping in on someone or just picking up the phone and calling seem to be fading to messages. I did not intend on this episode being on this topic, however I trust that it was for a purpose that I did.
In a time of lockdowns this episode is more important than ever I feel as people attempt to express themselves on social media and texting.
Messaging is not communication, it's information. Do you agree?
Society often expresses privilege as something unfair, something that should be removed from those who possess it. If you have ever experienced the threat of losing something dear to you then you know this triggers emotions and often a fight response, and those with privilege just move to defend it harder, so this is ineffective.
What if instead we worked towards every human having those privileges. Rather than feel the need to defend being privileged, what if we nurture and grow our privileges so there is plenty to go around for everyone?
"Of course" is a common phrase which is fitting because it is keeping you common. You are unique, your dreams are unique, not one person on earth was destined to be common. Using the term "of course" is a flag for being 'off course'. Off Course is putting your life on auto-pilot and it won't take you to where your dreams and goals live. Of course, short for 'as a matter of course' happens because the path is already been laid out and constructed just like a road but then you don't leave the road. If you are listening to my podcasts then this is not the life that calls you. The only people who listen to my podcasts are people asking questions and ongoingly exploring being their best to make the kindest and sincere difference in the world possible for them. This podcast explains why to be wary of the "of course".
Passed vs Past is an important definition for me when remembering my parents. This episode is personal and touches on connection, spirituality (not religion), love and loss. What better time to honor my parents than today my birthday and look at something that touches us all when we can no longer wrap our arms around someone we love.
Yes I use the word must, because this episode is a big one for you finding and living your life's purpose and that means it's in the 20% of when using MUST and it's appropriate.
We are often told "don't sweat the small stuff" well it depends on what small stuff you are talking about, because the key to living a fulfilled successful life is made up small stuff and this episodes explores that.
Algorithms run our experience of all social media, phone games, youtube and internet by Google, Facebook etc inspecting what we visit and look at, working out what we and our friends are interested in and then showing us more of it, so a curiosity can soon turn into being bombarded with like topics until all of a sudden it is showing up everywhere.
This episode explores the similarity to Algorithm programmes written by these companies to the Algorithms for some emotions programmed in our brain.
What if you could feel less stressed day to day just by changing one word in your language? You can. I am hearing this word more and more in our society to a point it seems to be becoming part of our culture and yet this word is driving up fear and being needy, is that what we want for ourselves, our children or our society?
I have recently watched 2 Netflix true stories: 'Just Mercy' and 'Trial by Fire'.
The movies certainly bought up all kinds of feelings and were very well made and acted. One based on a black man on death row, another about a poor white man on death row and I recommend them both.
One common thing I took from them both was this, what they did with their time in a little cell with near no privileges was way beyond what they, or most of us, would ever do and become than if they had it all at their disposal as many of us do. What would you stop and start doing if you were living like the letter with your 30 day execution date could come any day?
It may sound like a ridiculous question however how many times does someone insinuate or do something that insinuates something we think is bad and we take the hook and get upset? What if when someone said something that would usually upset us we thought of it the same as being called a fish? The sting would not land right. We all take the hook at some point, however understanding why and gaining awareness gives us the knowledge and power to just keep swimming and not take other people's bait, intended or not.
99% of people experience a fear or concern of being judged in some form. Depending on how aware we are and how we respond will heighten the fear or soften it. There is no point spending precious energy trying to disappear it, however we can prioritise the feelings so that we can perform highly and be uneffected by those fear feelings.
This podcast is about how to do that.
This may not be what you think. It's nothing to do with determination or self-discipline, this episode looks at the "essence" of what it takes to really succeed, to get what we want, to be happy! Yes it is about getting what we want, however consider the reason we want many things is because we think it will make us happy AND how often do you see people getting what they said they wanted only for it to not be enough or for them to be left unfulfilled.
Giving is great, whether it be your time, services, gifts or a compliment, it can make others and yourself happy. What happens though when you cross the line and become an auto-giver? The line between expected happiness is fragile and rarely will leave you fulfilled or consistently happy.
In this episode we look at the fine line between being an auto-giver which is connected to emotions Vs a thoughtful-giver which is attached to a commitment.
Enjoy
Hello! It's been a while, yes I've been stopped. I know I am not alone in being stopped in life, even when it is really important to you and you keep saying you want to and.... it just get's put aside for other things.
Then the longer it goes the harder it seems to start again until eventually it starts impacting on your happiness and then all the important things you were prioritising first start being impacted until you find yourself back in an old familiar rut.
Regardless of how "developed" we are, this is a cycle, however the cycle can take an hour, day, month or year... that bit is up to each of us. Well my cycle of not sharing podcasts is OVER and I am back sharing the very thing I have been going through, getting started again after being stopped.
Thanks for listening, enjoy.
Firstly, please enjoy the sounds of nature in the background of this podcast, the studio was not available.
Confusion - this causes many people to become defensive or offensive or for some to become curious. What is your default response?
We all do it, or most of us anyway. We think we know what others are thinking, especially those we know well. So what's the impact?
Do you ever feel burdened by a situation you have been put in to the extent it affects your health? That's what I refer to in this podcast as being hit by a bus. Life speaks in whispers, if we don't hear them it tends to throw a brick at us, and if we continue to push through we end up getting hit by a bus and the train will be next if we do not stop and reassess.
Ever wished for a little more happiness? If you answered yes then this podcast is for you.
What if feeling happier was as easy as shifting your body? Would you think it were too easy to be true? Invite you to listen and take my 7 day challenge for feeling a little happier today.
You can apply this same conversation to a close friend or anyone you love.
If you want the best for others, this is THE most effective, and sometimes only way.
The word 'need' is such a normal everyday word now we may not even realise how much we use it AND this word is damaging and robbing you of happiness, freedom and energy. Great news is, there is a simple solution.
Is what happens around you enough?
Is what others do enough?
Are you enough?
At some point in our day to day lives most of us will answer 'no' at some time. The impact of this can be the difference between stress and joy though, and it is always destructive to ourselves and those around us when we entertain or give this answer agreement.
Over the years I have been countless advice and read lots of stuff on relationships and making a marriage work, even seen games on it and spoken to councillors. After just celebrating my 30 year anniversary with the man I love, the one tip I would give is a takeaway from a conversation from someone close to me when she was reflecting on why her marriage ended. This one thing has stayed with me for 20 years and absolutely has worked for us.
Most of us share a value of being someone that others can rely on.... are we that person for ourselves though? More importantly, what is the impact on those closest to us, those we love.
That needless automatic word, the less used the better! Do you know the one?
It has another word just like it starting with G....
There are two types of stress:
1. Stress about something that has or is happening
2. Stress about something we think is going to happen
This podcast is about the first one, why things happen and how to best deal with them. No matter how big or small we perceive what has caused us stress, it is valid. This episode does not condone any actions or circumstances it is about empowering you dealing with them.
If you are human then at some point you will deal with upset. The difference between people is how long that upset hangs around and how much it effects you and those around you.
This episode looks at what it takes to take an upset that might steal a week of your life to taking a few minutes. Up to you, putting you back in control.
I think Dr Suess has written about near everything that is important in living a great life and to think they are kids books! Whilst the crazy zany illustrations definitely add, the words still make an amazing listen. If you have never read a Dr Suess book, yes they are a bit crazy, yes they are fun and yes, you should treat yourself to buying some. I have the collection and for the next few Fridays I will be reading exerpts from my favorites. His fun and wisdom is amazing. Enjoy!
This episode is a bit punchy and get's right down to business.
If you aren't getting results whether it be at work, home or passion, despite taking all the actions, having the skills etc, then this episode is for you.
We all know there are 24 hours in the day yet so many of us need more. In this episode it explores one of the most effective tools to take back control and indeed seem to have more time! It's a simple proven action most of us can take.
It is normal for our body to physically compensate for injuries we may have, however at what stage do we look at our healed injury and declare it no longer needing me to nurse it. For me it was more than 30 years in one case, it had become habit. This can also apply to emotional injuries.
The long term of this is being less and less balanced as our stronger healthy limbs take possibly an unnecessary load.
Any time is a great time to do a check in on living a balanced life in all areas do you agree?
Exaggerating can be funny and entertaining when telling a story or entertaining, exaggeration can also be used in a not so great way as manipulation.
The third way of using exaggeration is what is discussed in this episode, and it is when you are practicing or rehearsing for a competition, public display or other situation which you may find challenging and predictably withdraw or you are historically less effective.
With so much change in our world at the moment it is easy to be left feeling out of control. This episode looks at the simplicity of taking back a feeling of control and balancing our thoughts and feelings so we can continue to be effective and happy in our day to day lives, regardless of our circumstances.
Acknowledgement is often confused or collapsed with bragging or praise, not only is this incorrect, it robs us of it's magic. Acknowledgement used as it is defined in the dictionary is a powerful tool when used correctly, this episode looks at how to do that.
I have spoken with quite a few people lately who reflect that "being competitive" is becoming something to be cautious of. If this is true then we are losing sight of one of our most important qualities and if this is indeed true then maybe it's because we are collapsing 'competitive' with other things.
This episode looks at the importance of winning and losing, neither of which can be achieved without first being competitive.
Definitely a 4 lettered word ! Using the word just as an opening to introducing ourselves or what we have to say is a big big downer when it comes to being effective in communication and making the person we are talking to feel valued. Whilst it makes sense saying "it's just me" or "I just wanted to ask" may make us sound unimportant, consider it is also disrespecting the time the other person has given us with their attention or answering our call. It adds nothing and detracts a lot, this weeks challenge.... no using "just".
Overcoming nervousness can take a lifetime, many people are petrified or public speaking or even speaking up in an unfamiliar group. Whilst this 5 minute episode doesn't get rid of the nerves (crazy right - a whole 5 minutes and doesn't cure it!), this episode DOES give you a couple of really cool easy to use tricks to sound and appear confident, and most importantly deliver an effective presentation.
The excuse "if only I had more time" has been a popular one and for many of us we have recently been given more 'time' with isolation and it's made no difference... so if "That's not it" ... what is?
Bruce is a world class business leader, facilitator, author and speaker. Winning Australia's highest speaker awards and travelling the world helping people and businesses for more than 30 years he is an absolute wealth of down to earth advice on choices we still all have in these crazy times.
It's often the simple things that are the most profound and this is one of them.
It might seem being picky or just playing with words the difference between using 'got to' or 'going to' however the impact on your brain, your thoughts which create your actions and the experience you leave others with is profound.
It is a very simple and well defined difference in effective communication or not.
You are a winner. Todays episode is a bit of fun looking at the chances of us even being born. If you are reading this, you are a winner!
We are taught about nutrition and foods for a healthy body, what we aren't taught is that what we feed our minds is just as important for a healthy mind.
In this episode we look at some very simple inputs for a healthy happy mind.
Marisa Peer is one of my favorite Mindset Coaches and I based today's podcast on one of her quotes: "First you make your beliefs, then your beliefs make you".
Have you ever heard yourself say or think "That's not fair"?
Are you committed to living your best life possible?
If you answered yes to both, they there is a conflict of interest going on inside you and this episode gives you some ideas on how to keep the peace.
In language there are words that contribute to our lives and those that detract from them.
Yet is a BIG contribution. Today's short podcast looks at why.
Why do so many of us self-sabotage?
Why do we feel like we living ground hog day in parts of our lives?
Why do we seem to face the same challenges over and over regardless of how much we work on changing things?
In this episode we look at the "truths" our subconscious mind can run and I give you a way to consciously measure and assess if something is true.
Most of us have seen the scene from Crocodile Dundee when he is walking the streets of New York and some muggers come up with a little knife, his famous line "that's not a knife... this is a knife!" sends the muggers running.
When we are navigating our lives and working towards our goals there are lots of fears that may try to mug us, only instead of a knife, what will keep us safe is a big "why".
The word "not" can be used for or against us and using it deliberately can change the outcomes in most situations.
The famous phrase of "To be or not to be" has so often been given the meaning we choose between A or B, what if they were both A?
This episode is both fun and powerful in our lives.
Enjoy.
If you would like to contact Selina about Mindset Coaching or Mentoring text 0414225265 (Australia 61+)
Have the words "happened to me" ever left your lips?
In this podcast we look at how destructive this is and what is available by changing those words to "happened for me".
Here's to a healthy mindset and a kind world.
Enjoy
It's just a word... or is it?
What if just by removing this one word from your language you could increase your effectiveness, repair relationships and create kindness around you? Would it be worth it?
The podcast discusses the impacts of the word should on us all.
How many things do we say are important and then disregard them, give them poor priority or even forget them completely?
Sometimes freedom is letting go of things we say we want immediately, always power is from taking hold of those things we really want and make them happen.
Our language is a reflection of what is going on inside of us.
By simply being conscious in using the words we do we can change the results we get.
In this short podcast we look at the word "If"