Kari Patterson: Recent Episodes
Kari Patterson, Jeff Patterson
We need wisdom, y'all. Like, yesterday. Right?! We need God's perspective. We need His heart. We need joy, resilience, clarity, and conviction. Feeling this need, author Kari Patterson opens Scripture and shares candidly how God's Word informs her daily life. Appropriate for all ages, relatable and refreshing, join Kari for conversations on responding to unkindness, emotional freedom, parenting dilemmas, self-pity, forgiveness, and more.
Hi friends, it has been a whirlwind few months. My father Bill Zyp, known as our beloved Papa, passed away on Saturday, the morning before Resurrection Sunday. Here is the livestream link for his Celebration of Life service on Thursday, April 4th at 2pm PST. I’ll write more about his life in the weeks to come.
[LIVESTREAM above also here]
Bill-Zyp-memorial-program-for-webDownloadThe post Bill Zyp: Celebration of Life {livestream} appeared first on Kari Patterson.
Hello friends! I’m in Idaho this weekend sharing about The Second Mile with awesome ladies from Eagle Christian Church, and a number of you were wanting this quote, in its entirety, so I figured this was the easiest way to get it to you. Speaking of, if your church is looking to do a retreat in 2024, I’d love to pray about joining you! You can go to the Speaking Page to see topic options. Thanks! Here’s the quote:
Jesus evidently is speaking here especially of some person who dislikes us, criticizes us, maliciously plans against us and seeks our hurt. What he says is that our love for that person should be so great that we are more willing to serve him than he is to make us — yes, twice as willing. That no malice of his should ever reduce our souls to the level of hatred, or spoil our invincible love that pushes through all wrongs, still willing to serve him more and win him if he can … whatever comes, his hate will never ruin my goodwill. I will take his unfriendliness as my opportunity for unrequited service, and when the first ill of his unkindness has been traveled I will say, “Man, my master is Christ and Christ never let any man’s unkindness spoil his love. I am trying to follow Him and I am not going to let your unkindness spoil my love. You may not be my friend, but I am yours, and nothing you can ever do will stop it.”
Harry Fosdick, The Second Mile. 1908
The post Second Mile Quote appeared first on Kari Patterson.
I looked back over the list. I didn’t want to mess this up. Adult STL … that’s my cue. I’m the Adult on Stage Left. I just need to pay attention, remember my jobs, don’t crash into any cast member with the benches. Don’t let the backdrop get caught on the hooks.
Heidi is currently in her 6th show with CYT and this is my 6th show working backstage. I love the job. To me, it’s such a privilege to see all the behind the scenes, even if it isn’t always pretty.
As crew backstage, we get to see the mad scramble for Seth’s missing set-piece. We get to see how he made due without it and still carried the scene. We get to see how Zach stepped in to help when we were short-handed, how Dylan hustles to make that quick-change. We get to see little huddles of 3’s and 4’s praying for each other before the show starts.
What we don’t get to see?
The show.
Of course we get bits and pieces. We hear the music. We sing along offstage, we laugh at the funny lines and silently celebrate when someone nails their song. We high-five when we get a set-change done flawlessly. It’s fun.
But it’s not the same as seeing the show.
It’s rewarding in its own way, but honestly: Sometimes it can get tiring going the same unseen task, again and again and again. Silent. Invisible. Often-times, if we’re putting something far downstage, we set pieces that we never even see used. We just have this long list of things to do, and we might not have any idea what the actual finished product looks like.
This isn’t just true for crew, it’s also true for cast. No matter what your role, no cast member gets to see the whole show. They don’t see what’s behind them. They don’t see the scenes they aren’t in. They get bits and pieces. They learn their lines, their cues, their dances.
But no one in the show gets to see it all together right before their eyes.
For every show, I book my own ticket to watch for the final show. It’s like my reward for a full two weekends working backstage. And by then, my own appreciation for the hard-work backstage is at its full height! By this time, even as I watch the show I’m silently praying the crew kids can make all their changes. I’m praying Heidi gets her quick-mic-change in time. And I’m awed and amazed, often to tears, to see how it all works together.
Oh THAT’s what that scene is all about. Oh THAT’s why we put that backdrop there. Oh THAT”s why it has to be exactly so and so.
Now I see.
There were a couple hard things today. Jeff sent me a photo of my mom and I wished more than anything she were there. Oh man she’d love this show. And my thoughts swirled to various things I was facing, and also to her life and how she navigated the hard stuff.
So much we don’t see.
As followers of Jesus in His Kingdom, we’re all cast and crew members. I picture angels as the audience, and we’ll join them once we’re glory. They see it. They can see what’s going on. They know why it’s so important that we forgive this person. Why we HAVE to keep our mouth shuts in certain situations. Why God puts different people in different places for different seasons. Why we’re supposed to sing this harmony but not that one.
We’re not the Director. We do as we’re told, and trust that it’s what’s best.
Sometimes we get weary, yes? Just me? We try to remember that we’re not the Director of this show. There is only One. And we haven’t been given a ticket just yet to see the fullness of how this is all working together. This Kingdom thing.
And so we work and wait and trust. We believe that a good Director is giving us the right cues. That if we are faithful with our part, He will work something together for good that is beautiful.
And someday we’ll wake up, and it’ll be the most glorious show. Heavenly popcorn and all our beloved people and we will get to watch as the Director of the World unveils His Show. Beaming, giddy with delight, He announces:
THIS, my children, is what I was doing all along! Watch and see!
And the film will roll. And we’ll see it in its glorious whole, we’ll see the part we played, we’ll see why it mattered. We’ll laugh and cry and go, “Oh yes, remember that time?! So THAT’s what was going on! I was so confused!”
It’s going to be good. God give us courage and grace to keep playing our part.
The post Backstage appeared first on Kari Patterson.
Hey friends! I shared this over at Simple Homeschool and completely forgot to include it here. I hope this can encourage you!
How hard do I push my hesitant child?
The post How hard do I push my hesitant child? appeared first on Kari Patterson.
If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Now: What if the first was the secret to the second, and the second the secret to the first?
And what if the key to life-change, to breakthrough and transformation and extraordinary growth, is just waiting for you within the ordinary life you already live?
What if it’s been right in front of you all along?
What if the key to extraordinary life change is waiting for you within the ordinary life you already live? What if it’s been right in front of you all along? Change can be difficult, but nothing is harder than being stuck in life. This book is an invitation to live unstuck. To find freedom, purpose, and joy. To see every aspect of life for what it really is: an opportunity to see, know, love, and be utterly transformed by a great and glorious God.
In Sacred Mundane, Kari Patterson pulls open the dusty blinds and allows you see every aspect of your life for what it really is: An opportunity to see, know, love, and be utterly transformed by a God who knows no bounds, who refuses all confines, who upsets every expectation, and who ruthlessly pursues our hearts and our good with reckless abandon. He patiently waits to be invited in to every ordinary aspect of our lives. He eagerly awaits the opportunity to transform our lowly lives into a glorious existence, filled with mundane miracles and holy habits, filled with purpose and passion, filled with victory and the sweetness of His voice.
With profound biblical insights and candid real-life stories, Kari slips her hands in yours and leads you into the life of wholeness, purpose, victory, and joy. Perfect for personal or small-group study, complete with Bible study materials and discussion/reflection questions, Sacred Mundane contains everything you need to glean the glorious nuggets of truth hidden within the life you already lead. Come, dive in, and learn to let your days transform your life.
Above you’ll find the book trailer video, which we happily suggest you share with others. Also, if you have read the book or know others who have: Would you consider writing a review on Amazon? (Even if you bought it elsewhere.) Reviews are a huge blessing to me!
Thank you so much for journeying along with me in the sacred mundane. God has been honored in all that has been hard and good. I hope this book has been and will continue to be a blessing to you.
Get the book here.
Thank you!
Listen to the Kari Patterson podcast
{Thanks for reading.}
The post If you could change one thing about your life what would it be? appeared first on Kari Patterson.
Hey friends! It’s time for our annual day-in-the-life post over at Simple Homeschool. I love reading these posts. Of course they have to be somewhat short, I could fill another whole post just listing all the mishaps we have every day. But here’s what our routine looks like these days!
—-
Warmth. It’s January 12th, and as I stir awake I’m grateful again for the flannel sheets and plush Pendleton blanket we got for Christmas. Four-year-old Justice brings more warmth beside me; he has crawled in at some point last night and I love it.
I know how short these snuggle years are.
He stirs. Mama, want to go downstairs and read your Bible?
Yeah Buddy, just a few more minutes is my form of hitting snooze. He snuggles for a minute more than asks again, and I see the light rising outside. It’s time to start the day.
We currently live with my dad as he undergoes treatment for leukemia, and we build a house next door. We began in a travel trailer in the driveway last March, but we’ve slowly settled inside.
Dutch (16), Heidi (almost 14), and Ben (2) have their own rooms (well, Ben has a big closet), while Justice, Jeff, and I have mattresses on the floor of the bonus room. Read the rest over at Simple Homeschool!https://simplehomeschool.net/kari2023/
The post Our day-in-the-life 2023 appeared first on Kari Patterson.
After many years of slow homeschool days, limited activities, and just two kids, our season has certainly changed. I’m grateful for those years, but now with two teens we are in full-blown activity mode and throwing a couple extra kids into the mix hasn’t exactly slowed the pace.
With cross-country, theater, dance, ballet, voice lessons, and teaching literature, on top of our at-home lessons plus toting around two littles, life feels very full.
Thankfully, seasons that stretch us force us to grow. Here are four helpful habits that help us through our busy season: Read the rest over here! https://simplehomeschool.net/4-habits-that-help/
The post 4 habits that are helping us through a busy season appeared first on Kari Patterson.
“Mama, are you overwhelmed?”
It was Justice who asked, looking up at me inquiringly, his little mouth carefully pronouncing the word he’d clearly heard before.
I smiled down at him, “No sweetie, I’m happy.”
And I was. But I knew why he was asking it. I had been overwhelmed. Way overwhelmed. And through over the course of a few weeks, the Lord was showing me how subtle this temptation of overwhelm really was.
Temptation? Overwhelm is not a temptation. Temptations are things like sex and second pieces of cake. Right?
Sometimes. But sometimes our temptations are so much more subtle than that.
It started on our drive up to Spokane. Leaving my family to go away and speak for a weekend is at lot of work. It’s a lot of work to prepare to speak, and it’s a lot of work to prepare my family with everything they need for me to be gone. But this time my family came with me and I discovered the only thing that’s more work than leaving them at home to go speak is bringing them with me to go speak. I quickly became grumpy and frustrated, and my thoughts, most-certainly not taken-captive, began to run amok something like this:
I’m never doing this again. It’s impossible, this is way too much work to do all of this, I just can’t do this anymore. I’ll let people know when we get back that I’m not going to be speaking anymore.
Ha. Of course even as my thoughts went there, I thought of the wise saying from a woman who has endured more hardship than I can imagine:
Don’t decide to give up running while going up a hill.
Of course.
Last week Dutch had a hard cross-country race. I was worried that he was injured, his form was odd and he didn’t have his usual grin. Gratefully, it was just a hard race. It was hot. It was smoky. He’d had a harder-than-usual training week and he was just plain tired.
But within a minute or two he had his breath, was feeling good, and back to his usual smiling self.
Turns out it was just one hard race. Turns out he’s only 4 weeks into running this much and he could really use more training. Of course.
Can you imagine if, at about 4K into that hot and smoky race he stopped and said, “You know, I don’t think cross-country is for me. This just isn’t my sport. Turns out it’s not as fun as I thought. I’ll go ahead and just let the coach know that I’m done for the season.”
Of course not.
Ok, so what does this have to do with overwhelm?
Overwhelm is the first step toward quitting. It’s a form of mental quitting. Instead of saying, “Wow this is harder than I thought. I’m going to need _______________ (stamina, new strategies, patience, more sleep, etc.). I wonder what steps I can take to be more prepared for this,” it’s telling yourself, “This is too hard, this is ridiculous, no one should have to do this.”
Now of course one caveat: It could be that you’re not called to do the thing. Dutch did piano and baseball as well in years past. He gave it a year or two, and it truly wasn’t his thing. Great. Move on.
But most of the time I’m overwhelmed by things I really am called to do, I just need more training.
Back to temptation.
It’s a temptation to let yourself take that mental step into quitting. It’s a cop-out. It’s a way to blame circumstances which completely robs us of our opportunities to grow.
If Dutch quit he’d never become a faster runner.
If I just quit speaking or homeschooling or whatever God is calling me to do, I’ll never walk in the good works God prepared for me in advance (Eph. 2:10).
I just sent Dutch off to practice with his two water bottles and peanut butter pretzels. He’s learning his rhythm, and I am too. I’m learning that I can’t plan things that take me away from the kids during the days we’re doing school. I’m learning that dinner-prep really needs to be done in the morning. I’m learning a nightly house-reset makes mornings so much better. I’m learning a 4pm snack for the littles goes a long way in keeping us all sane during that difficult pre-dinner window.
Instead of giving in to the temptation to overwhelm, instead of the mental throwing-up-of-the-hands and saying “This is too hard,” I’m trying a deep breath and asking, “What do I need in order to manage this better?”
Shall we try it together?
The post On Overwhelm appeared first on Kari Patterson.
A friend of mine posted this CS Lewis quote and I knew it was the answer to my prayer:
“Courage is the form of every virtue at the testing point.”
It sounded so much like another CS Lewis quote that I had to read it a second time to be sure it wasn’t the same one. The other one, the one I’d carried close to my heart for years was,
“Humility isn’t so much another virtue along with the others, it is soil out of which all the graces grow.”
We can’t truly love unless we have humility enough to esteem another better than ourselves. We can’t be faithful unless we have the humility to put ourselves aside in order to remain faithful in a job, friendship, ministry. We can’t be kind, joyful, good, we certainly can’t have self-control, without humility. It is the soil out of which all the graces grow.
But what is this bit about courage? Something resonated deeply about this idea. Yes, it is the form every virtue takes at the testing point.
So if I cultivate humility, I seek to esteem others higher than myself, I seek to love. At some point this love will be tested. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I’d even say tested to the point that to truly love through the test feels agonizing, too painful.
Or take another virtue. To be faithful when the cost to yourself is staggeringly high … humility cultivates the growing fruit, then courage must come along to bring that faithfulness forth into fruition.
Courage strengthens the heart of the mother who pushes through the agony of childbirth to bring forth that beautiful child.
Courage keeps you loving even when you’re guaranteed pain. Courage keeps you moving forward in good works, even when some level of failure is inevitable.
Last week it felt a bit like every day brought another unforeseen challenge. Often we take these things in stride, right? But sometimes we experience that slow leak of joy. I sat with the Lord a bit and tried to put my finger on what I was feeling. Defeated. That was the word.
I just feel defeated, Lord. It feels like every attempt at anything goes awry.
I’m so grateful for people who share the Good News in various forms on social media. CS Lewis loud and clear right there in my feed and I knew it was what I needed:
Courage. Of course. All these virtues, the ones I want, the ones I pray for, all of these virtues, at the testing point, come down to courage. Courage to apologize. Courage to have the hard conversation. Courage to say yes even when you don’t how it’ll work. Courage to say no even if means disappointing someone. Courage to be honest. Courage to deny the constant cravings of self and make Kingdom choices instead.
Last week Dutch ran his first cross-country race. He’s never done anything like this before, and I was so proud of him, a homeschool kids, joining our local high school team. He ran so well! It was all I could do not to just gush happy tears as I watched him with his team, so happy and confident and strong and kind and brave. This is the kid who was so anxious about playing baseball that he ran away and hid in our shop on game day. This is the kid who couldn’t even go to Costco because he was so overwhelmed by people.
There he went, Courage on two long legs, striding past me across the finish line. More than getting any certain race time, I was proud of him because I knew that this represented so many courageous choices. Regular, repeated decisions to choose humility and courage.
I’m trying to do the same.
The post Humility & Courage appeared first on Kari Patterson.
Have you ever had someone come completely unglued at you? It’s unsettling, yes? It’s unnerving when something seemingly small evokes a response in someone (directed at you) that is so incredibly out of proportion you’re left a little dizzied.
What just happened?
Of course we know what just happened: The thing isn’t the thing. Usually when I’m upset, it’s about so much more than just that last-straw issue. There’s a whole flood beneath the surface.
Without Christ my life would be one long freak-out.
That’s my testimony. Truly! I cannot imagine attempting to navigate the griefs, frustrations, offenses, hurts, disappointments of this life without THE ANCHOR of my soul. Not to mention that whole “headed for eternal torment” bit, even in THIS LIFE I’d be doomed without Jesus. Yes?
Recently a situation arose that was so bewildering I could feel all that hands-shaking, heart-racing, I-want-to-cry kind of thing going on. Before heading into a meeting, I knew I needed God’s Word. I need God. I needed His truth to align my heart with what is true. Heidi took the littles and I sat down at the kitchen counter with the Scripture. And it just so happened (ha!) that this was my next Psalm to read:
Woe to me, that I sojourn in Meschech, that I dwell among the tents of Kedar! Too long have I had my dwelling among those who hate peace. I am for peace, but when I speak, they are for war!
Psalm 120:5-7
Now that might seem odd to you but I was in jaw-drop awe because of the exact similarity to our situation. I can’t think of any other Scripture in all of God’s Word that was more applicable to our circumstance or to how I felt! So not only did it instantly comfort my heart that God sees and knows, it also helped me know what our course of action was to be:
PEACE.
I am for peace.
That was to be my banner. That was to be my aim, my goal, the purpose of my words, my demeanor.
PEACE.
I walked out the front door and literally put one foot in front of the other. Jeff and I walked hand in hand and in the course of events we saw God go before us in incredible ways and lay out a road of peace. He showed us His favor. He covered our failings and weakness. He was kind to us.
And at the end of the conversation, one of the people involved (a stranger to us) recognized me from a church 35 years ago, where I grew up. The conversation quickly turned to the fact that we were Christ-followers and you better believe I was SO GRATEFUL I hadn’t gone out there and acted like a jerk! Whew! Close call! Relief beyond belief!
We walked back to the house praising God for His kindness. Just moments before I had been on the brink of freaking out, but God and His word once again anchored my heart, my thoughts, my emotions.
Thank you, Jesus for constantly saving our souls.
The post How not to freak out appeared first on Kari Patterson.
As I type this we’re 8,331 miles into our road trip — near the end! We’re on a long driving day through Montana, and at the moment everyone is fed and contented so figured I’d share a few details about this trip. A few of you had asked for this as you plan your own family road trips, so here we go! Obviously this is unique to us and your own family will have different priorities, but maybe something of this can be helpful. Just ignore what doesn’t apply.
How it began:: The idea for this trip percolated during a 800-mile road trip to Utah to visit my brother. We used to road trip a lot when our big kids were little, but with four kids now and no comfortable vehicle that fit us all, it just all felt overwhelming. For our Utah trip we had borrowed my Dad’s minivan that he used to transport my mom. While we were driving to Utah he called and said he wanted us to keep it, that we could trade straight across for our other car. I protested because I knew the van was perfect for him taking mom places. He insisted. Little did I know that my mom would never get in a vehicle again … she passed away just a month later. I know she’d be happy knowing her car is being well-used to transport her grandkids.
Minivan:: Having a minivan was a game-changer for us. We now had a vehicle we could all fit in comfortably. The Utah road trip went so well that on our return trip we started dreaming. I’d always wanted to take the kids on a cross-country road trip, but it seemed way unattainable. But now just maybe …
Sabbatical:: Also at this time we’d been praying about the possibility of Jeff taking a Sabbatical of some sort. We’ve been at Renew for 10 years, and especially with the intensity of the last 2 years, we were really praying we could get some time away.
So, these ideas converged at the same time that a mini-van plopped in our lap. At a gas station on our way home from Utah Jeff bought me a US Road Atlas and told me start dreaming.
Process:: I started with the biggies: What spots/people do we KNOW we want to see? Florida was a must. We’d never been there as a family, and Jeff’s brother and his family recently moved there. Washington DC was the other biggie as we’d never been there, and I really wanted the big kids to go there.
Paring down:: Our original itinerary included the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone as well, but it was just too much to try to pack into 6 weeks. We wanted to have some rest time in Florida to just BE and play as a family. We knew that both Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon are easily drivable from home, so we could do those another year. So we prioritized things farther East.
Same with people: We prioritized friends in Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida, knowing we probably won’t be over that far again.
Priorities:: As I mentioned here, our priorities were: Educational, Relational, Economical. We wanted to pick education spots, we wanted to visit people we love, and we knew we needed to make it economical if it really was to happen.
Lodging:: We decided to do a mix of staying with friends/family, hotels for 1-night stays, and AirBnBs for longer stays. I started by booking the AirBnBs for our longer stays, and picked ones that had full refunds for cancellation, since I figured plans would change as time got closer (and they did!). The AirBnB app was super helpful. I didn’t book any of the hotels until we got within a week of being in a spot. I also used the Hotel app, which has a stamp rewards program, and they had a promotion with double stamps during certain dates, so we were able to get our 8th hotel night for free.
Our AirBnBs were a mixed bag. Two were great, one was medium, two were not so great. But all in all they were fine, the beds were comfy and the homes were clean.
Food:: A 6-week trip is a HUGE financial expenditure. The biggest way we kept the trip on a budget was by not eating out. We got In-n-Out burger once and Braum’s burgers once but other than that we never ate out during our 40 days on the road. I’ll admit, it took a ton of effort and wasn’t convenient. I’m glad we did it, but it’s a commitment. I packed two big Costco totes full of food, some for making meals in homes, and some for easy meals on the road.
Our favorite food items:: Orgain protein powder (made a shake every single morning), SafeCatch tuna with ring-pull lids (GREAT for in the car, just dump on a salad or eat plain or mix with mayo for tuna salad sandwiches or mix with rice/quinoa packet for a dinner and it’s 35-50 grams of protein), Rice/quinoa packets from Costco, grass-fed beef sticks from Costco, tons of granola, nut bars, crackers and dried fruit. Oh, and I brought lots of Via coffee packets I could just add to water or to weak hotel coffee to make it strong. I also brought a small container of our local honey and kept a small pint of cream with us so I could have a yummy coffee drink each morning without having to buy anything.
Anytime we stopped at a store I’d grab cuties (oranges), bananas, greens, carrots, and bottled water.
What I wish I’d packed more of:: Paper towels, baby wipes, and non-refrigerated peanut butter. I bought those things on the road, but there’s basically no way to have too much of these items.
Other helpful items:
Antibac wipes: I brought a bunch of travel packs of Clorox antibacterial wipes for hands and surfaces. Super super helpful to just have a pack in my purse, one in the stroller, one in the glove box, etc. at the ready.
Blender: I also brought a Hamilton Beach travel blender (SO helpful! It’s surprising how many AirBnBs don’t have blenders, plus I could use it in the hotel each morning). If you like smoothies or protein shakes it’s super helpful.
Food Warmer: We also got a travel food warmer. It plugs into the 12V car plug, and warms up whatever’s in it! A large sized Snapware container fits perfectly inside it. I put leftovers, sausages, rice and tune, chicken pockets, anything we wanted to eat warm, just stick in and in a few hours it’s hot!
Picnic blanket:: A friend bought me a Pendleton picnic blanket that was SO great to have. It folds and zips right up into itself with a little pocket and a strap so you can carry it over your shoulder. And the material is slick so sad just brushes right off, super easy to wash. It was GREAT to have with us. So many easy picnics anywhere we were. We used it everywhere from Key Largo to Washington DC to Lake Michigan.
Blackout curtain/pack ’n play blackout:: I brought a blackout curtain and some tacks with us which was super helpful for darkening rooms where the little boys were sleeping. Then halfway through the trip I bought a pack n play blackout tent thing that REALLY helped, especially in places where we all needed to sleep in the same room.
Also:: Because of our kids we also brought two life-jackets and bike helmets for the littles, since we were around pools so often and wanted to be able to bike with them. Oh, and we brought a TykeToter bike seat that attaches to any regular adult bike. This made it so we could just rent a bike with a baby seat (for Ben) and stick Justice on as well.
Overall thoughts: Really, six weeks is a minimum for doing a road trip this length. There were a lot of things we didn’t do just because it was such a quick trip through each place. For us this was great. We had three full days (4 nights) in DC and we could’ve spent longer but we were ready to move on by day 4. It would’ve been fun to explore more in certain states, but for us this was just a little taste of America. It worked well for our timeframe and the ages of our kids.
Wish I would’ve… I could’ve done a better job of educating ahead of time on things we were going to see. I would have loved to have the kids read certain books about some of the places we saw, or listen to information about them or watch documentaries. I love the idea of all that. In truth I was just trying to keep everyone fed and alive and with two little ones that was all I could do. If I only had older kids we could’ve dived deeper into history and information on each place. Hopefully we whet the kids’ appetites and gave them some hooks in their memories so that when they hear or learn more about something later, they have some experience with it already.
One small example, when we showed up at Mt Rushmore, Justice immediately recognized President Lincoln’s face, because we had seen it at the Lincoln Memorial. A super small thing, but it was fun to see that he at least recognized something from what we’d seen and talked about together.
Hard:: Of course being together for 40 days straight with no break, sleeping all six of us in one room for a good portion of the time, and being in unfamiliar and uncomfortable environments a lot of the time … well, it brings things out in us. We had a lot of moments where we all felt exhausted or overwhelmed. I had plenty of moments where I said, “What??” sharply after being asked, “Mama can you …?” for the ten thousandth time in the car. The babies woke up early every morning and the time changes were particularly rough on them, so there was a lot of missed sleep and a lot of Mama being really tired.
But good:: I am so glad we did it. We LOVED seeing our family and friends, we LOVED seeing 25 states (!) And traveling 10,000 miles to see our beautiful nation with our own eyes. We decided we’ll have to do it again in 12 years when the littles are the age of our big kids and maybe Dutch & Heidi can meet up with us and bring their spouses along.
Finally, our route:: Here it is!
Now we’re dreaming up doing a Western National Parks trip with our travel trailer. Any ideas for a trip like that? I’d love to hear from you!
The post Nuts & Bolts about our trip appeared first on Kari Patterson.
So of course I don’t love everything about traveling across the country for 6 weeks, and I want to reflect on these briefly because it’s so easy to think that escaping ordinary life will bring some sort of euphoric experience. And it really has been great. I know we’re right where we’re supposed to be, and we’ve seen God’s hand of kindness on us all along the way. A few reflections:
We’re in an exhausting season of life no matter where we are … and you probably are too. In some ways, this trip has been exhausting. Toting around two little ones plus two big ones for 10,000 miles is quite the adventure. But honestly–life with littles is exhausting no matter where you are.
At least for me, the jump from 2 kids to 4 kids was a lot. Having teens and toddlers at the same time? Totally awesome and totally exhausting. The bigs want to stay up late with us (which I love, Heidi & Dutch!) and the littles wake up early for us and that means zero free minutes to ourselves. So it’s just an exhausting season. (Side note: As a perspective on how tiring it is to have multiple children, check out this AMAZING story!)
But honestly? Aren’t most people in exhausting seasons of life? While I’m here I keep up with others who I love. My friend whose husband was almost killed in a car accident, and she now cares for him 24-7 as he lost his legs and cannot walk, talk … you get the idea. Talk about exhausting. Or my friend battling cancer with three little ones who spends every day in treatment. Or my other friend whose husband just finished 40 days of cancer treatment. Or my dear friend who has five littles and is covering loads of the work for our church back home so we can be here. Or my other friend who is taking care of her parents as her dad is in his final weeks of life. Or so many of you battling health crises, or just going through the incredibly difficult process of aging. It’s all exhausting.
I was talking to a friend who is in the process of adopting a 4th child. They planned to adopt two. Already at three their lives feel overflowing. Adding a 4th? Seems overwhelming. And yet, we were saying to each other: What else would we rather do with our lives?? Isn’t it WORTH IT?
It is. And yes, I’m hoping to get some naps in during July and August.
It’s hard not having a home. In 40 days we will be staying in 22 different places. That’s 22 different beds. Twenty-two times figuring out sleeping arrangements. Twenty-two times setting up the pack-n-play and getting Justice settled in and re-calibrating who will get up with which little one and you get the idea.
Switching homes 22 times in 40 days for six people is just really tiring. Just now I laid down for a quick rest during naptime, and my eyes filled with tears as I just found myself longing for home. And then I remembered … we don’t have a home. As you may know we’re living in a trailer, and while it is looking very promising that we’ll be able to build a house (yay!), it’ll likely be another year. I really really miss having a home.
When you’re not in your own home, at least with littles, you’re constantly a little on edge. I’m always afraid they’ll break something, or spill something, or make too much noise. Everything is unfamiliar. Even your body knows the steps around things in your own home. In unfamiliar settings your body is always re-familiarizing yourself with things. And don’t even get me started on figuring out each kitchen! Which knife is the best? Is there a vegetable peeler? Are there plastic dishes because no way am I giving breakable dishes to Ben. The joke with my family has been I’m in a constant state of trying to figure out the stove. Every oven and stove cooks differently and I’m always trying to figure it out. We’ve had a lot of burned food on this trip.
This has made me ache with those who are displaced from their homes. My displacement is voluntary. I want to do this. I can’t imagine how hard it would be for those who are displaced from their homes, especially with littles ones, who don’t know if they’ll ever be able to return. Or who are fleeing in fear. Or in danger. This definitely has fueled my prayers.
Good water is a treasure.Oh how I miss Oregon water! I’m sure I sound ridiculous but THERE IS NO WAY TO OVERSTATE HOW MUCH I MISS OREGON WATER. I’m so spoiled! I feel like I will do nothing but sit and drink and drink and drink as soon as I get home. I could cry I miss our water so much. Ok, I can’t talk about it anymore, moving on …
Traveling is expensive. To be clear, we aren’t poor. We are paid generously, and we are so incredibly grateful to be able to own a home, cars, and have the financial freedom to do so many things. No complaints here! But man oh man, it’s hard to be frugal when you’re traveling right now. Gas is expensive, food is expensive, places to stay are expensive. We aren’t even doing amusement parks or other attractions. Angie spent $30 on bug spray in the Everglades just so we wouldn’t get eaten alive. I spent $27 on 9 bottles of Gatorade at the rocket launch so the kids wouldn’t die of dehydration. Crazy! Again, so glad we’re doing it, but I’ll also be happy when we can settle down on our little piece of earth and not in tourist-traps.
Didn’t mean for this to be a complaining session, I really have loved this trip. Especially seeing God’s diverse creation and His wonderful people who are our friends and family. That’s been the best. And now naptime is about over so I’m signing off for some more exploring of Washington DC. Thanks for reading!
The post More reflections on our 6-week Sabbatical (what I don’t love) appeared first on Kari Patterson.
We just said goodbye to our friends, they’re flying back to Oregon after spending 6 days with us here in Florida. We are on Day 25 of our 40-day road-trip Sabbatical, we’ve driven more than 5,000 miles so far, and we’ve only had three days so far that are just our family (and those were just all-day drive days across the south). Of course, it’s been awesome seeing so many wonderful friends and family. But I can feel myself exhale and slip into what my soul has been craving: Sabbath rest.
Of course Ben will wake up in 30 minutes so it’s a short rest. But of course as you know there’s a different energy when it’s just your family, and we’ve had some sort of housemates (which we love!) for the last 10+ years. It’s weird to think of building a house that will only be our family, but I’m excited about the possibility of being a host family for Safe Families, and Lord willing, our new space will allow us to do just that. And of course Dad’s next door so that’s the best of both worlds.
It’s been so good to be with so many different people and see so many different parts of this country, different cultures and family-cultures. I love that! I feel like I’m learning so much just by seeing different things and different people. Here are a few thoughts so far:
Hospitality is huge. I’m usually the one on the hosting-end of hospitality, and it’s easy to just kind of get in a rut of serving dinners and having people over and not really thinking much about it. But being in so many people’s homes, and especially staying the night in so many people’s homes has been so incredibly impacting.
It is such a powerful thing to have someone prepare space for you. Call ahead and find out what you like in your coffee. Check in to see what kind of sleeping arrangements works best for your littles. See what your favorite drinks are. When you’ve been driving for 8 hours and you’re hot, sweaty, exhausted, and you have four tired kids with you, it’s AMAZING to walk into a home and see a delicious dinner on the table, a glass of cold water in your hand, clean beds all ready … I mean, maybe it’s just me. But this is incredible! Who wants a musty motel when you can have a HOME?
And to experience the kindness of other people setting aside their whole life for a day or two (or three–some of you!) to just be with you. To cook for you and show you around their town. It’s incredible. Our culture is so different now because we have hotels, but I’m really hoping in our new home to set it up in such a way that people will come stay. I think we should ditch friend sleepovers and start having family sleepovers!
I love having less stuff. We each brought one carry-on sized suitcase for our 6 weeks. This needed to include beach clothes, swimsuits, hiking stuff, Washington DC clothes, church clothes, etc. It forced us to keep it REALLY simple, and I’ve been loving it!
When you only have running shoes, flip-flops, or Birkenstocks, it doesn’t take long to choose your shoes. So much less decision fatigue and time spend on figuring out clothing. We have our one travel mug, our water bottle, our snack cup. It’s just been so nice to have less stuff. It feels like a rest for my brain! It’s definitely make me want to even further declutter our lives and only keep what we actually love and use.
It’s good to get some distance from my daily life. When we’re in the thick of it, the stuff our lives can be so all-consuming. It can feel like the whole world is all about whatever you’re concerned about. Everything revolves around your concerns or fears or issues or whatever. Oh man, it’s so good just to GET AWAY FROM YOUR LIFE. To get a little distance and see OTHER PEOPLE’s lives and concerns and stresses and worries and joys. Turns out, we are really small!
There’s another whole world out here, and it just helps so much to gain perspective, especially by spending time with people whose lives are very different from our own. I enjoy this about all three of my sisters-in-law. Our lives are very different, and it’s so helpful to spend time with them and realize how drastically different their stresses and fears and joys and sorrows may be.
I remember how much I love our life.I’m sure this is true for everyone: Being away reminds me how much I love Oregon. I mean the Florida sun is great, Tennessee homes are gorgeous, Georgia peaches are like nothing else in the world, BUT…I love Oregon. The water alone is reason to love it there! The rain is rough, but the beauty is breath-taking, and the fresh, clean air, the oceans and mountains within a couple hours of each other, plus rivers and lakes and creeks and farms and OREGON IS AMAZING! And the same is true with our church and family and friends. Of course I know that our state and our community aren’t superior to others, but God has placed us there and given us a love for it. It’s HOME. There’s no place like it, right?? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it’s been great to get away and appreciate how much we love our life.
The post Reflections (so far) on our 6-week Sabbatical appeared first on Kari Patterson.
As I type these words we’re one-third the way through a 6-week, cross-country family road-trip, crossing 20 states and nearly 9,000 miles.
Our 15-, 13-, 3-, and 1-year-old kids are loving the adventure so far, and it’s brought us some clarity about the mission and vision for our family along the way.
Any type of vacation or excursion is costly, both in time and resources, so how do we decide what’s worth our time and money?
3 ways to make family vacations worthwhileThese are the three priorities we used to plan our course: (Read the rest over at Simple Homeschool…)
The post 3 ways to make family vacations worthwhile appeared first on Kari Patterson.
Hey friends! As many of you know, every year we share a fun Day-in-the-Life post over at Simple Homeschool. This one had lots of opportunities for grace, forgiveness, and teachable moments. Head on over to Simple Homeschool to read the details. And don’t worry, I don’t usually serve food that’s been on the floor! LINK: https://simplehomeschool.net/kari2022/
The post A Day in the Life of our Crazy ;) appeared first on Kari Patterson.
I wanted another happy day. After such a hard month, we’d finally had such a sweet day out in the sunshine, getting dirty gathering debris, Dad and me and kids and neighbors all together. No one had to say anything about the sadness. We knew it was there, and we also knew that it was good to be in the sunshine and it was good to run a chainsaw and it was good to set things on fire and then sit in Adirondack chairs and rest our tired muscles in the warmth. Our conversation ran from heaven and hospice to Dodger baseball and diesel.
The sun shone directly on our faces.
No one was out looking for joy or satisfaction, necessarily. Stuff needed to be burned. It was Saturday and sunny and that’s what you do out here. I toted Ben on my hip and made lunch and stood there breathing the cold, clean winter air, thinking how odd it is to feel so much grief and so much joy all at once.
I think about my mom all the time. I miss her every day. Logically, this perplexes me. She declined for so long, I thought I’d be emotionally prepared to have her gone. It’d been years since she was able to call me on the phone. It’s probably been a decade since she was able to email me. So I don’t understand how the missing can be so overwhelming. I love receiving messages from people who have specific memories of her. I love reading the books that she dog-eared and underlined. I love her hand-writing. I miss her smell.
I guess that’s what it is. I know all the stuff about heaven. I’m grateful for all the reminders about where she is and the hope that we have. I believe it all, I do! I just miss her.
I’m guessing many of you understand this. The constant ache of missing.
And today God reminded me that the relief, the joy, the satisfaction doesn’t come by chasing after it. After that good and happy day I just wanted another good and happy day. And today as we started out working together, splitting wood, the circumstances weren’t the same and I could feel that disappointment well up just a bit in my soul.
How easily I can become embittered!
The clouds were stubborn and the littles were cold so I took them into the house, and began prepping dinner while occupying them. NOT what I wanted to be doing. I wanted sunshine, I wanted to be working in the fresh air. And then I remembered what God had said in Hawaii:
If you look for relief, you won’t find it. If you look for gratitude, you will.
I had been so tired then too. It had felt like an army crawl across the finish line of Easter, when we finally flew away to Maui and I’d anticipated it so much and that first day so many hard things happened I realized I could be in paradise and still be sad. And as I prayed I sensed God ask, “What are you looking for?”
I tried to answer honestly: Well, God, I’m looking for relief.
Just some relief. I’m not asking for ecstasy or luxury or anything excessive. Just relief. But immediately I knew, if I came there looking for relief for myself I wouldn’t find it. Babies still cry in Hawaii. Toddlers still throw tantrums and couples miscommunicate and the whole thing can go sideways rather quickly if I’m in it solely for my own relief.
But if I look for gratitude, I will find relief.
I did. It turned out to be a tremendous trip. Not perfect, but filled with thanks and yes … relief.
Standing there at the counter shredding chicken, I remembered. Gratitude.
And service. How many meals did my mom dish up? How many lunches did she pack? A billion. She served and served and served and served. And had the most contented, joyful spirit.
I shredded the cheese, put Ben down for a nap, read a book to Justice.
The sun started breaking, just a bit, through the clouds.
By mid-afternoon it was full-sun, take-off-your-coat, push-up-your-sleeves weather and Ben woke up happy and as I smelled his sweet baby breath and sat with Justice in the sun I thought, There it is. That joy. It did come. The by-product of thanks-giving and serving. Felt fully and simultaneously with grief.
Missing Mom and being so glad I get to raise her grandchildren and do life with Dad and be her one and only daughter, her DNA woven into every part of me.
Grateful.
The post Grateful appeared first on Kari Patterson.
Today on Kari's birthday we have a surprise gift for her: as Kari will hear from some family and friends who love her and cherish her presence, friendship, and care in their lives. Every episode is her talking to each and all of us; this time she's invited to listen along.
Notes welcome » podcast@karipatterson.com
ONENESS. What is it? Over and over and over in Scripture we see this repeated theme of being ONE. One mind, one heart, one Spirit, one Lord, one baptism—ONE body of Christ.
Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.
1 Corinthians 12:29
You, of course, is plural. I am not the body of Christ, WE are the body of Christ. You (plural) are THE body of Christ (singular). So how do we know what this oneness is supposed to look like?
The mind-blowing, awesome thing about our God is that He is both our Savior AND our Creator. We serve a God that not only saved us from sin but also who created THE ENTIRE WORLD. And because He created the world, the entire world serves as an illustration of theological truth. The heavens declare the glory of God! God is revealed everywhere–there are no excuses for not knowing Him!
So as we look through the Word AT the world we see a beautiful picture of what oneness is like.
Join me for Episode 33 as we dive into what ONENESS really is and how we (many!) can become ONE body, functioning for His glory and the good of our world.
For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
—1 Peter 2:21-24
I'm still here! So sorry for the loooong break. We went on a family vacation, made some intentional changes to slow down life a bit and unplug more ... well, I just unplugged so much I never plugged back in.
But I'm here, and I love sharing bits here and there about the Second Mile, and I recently received an email I wanted to share. A bit of it reads:
I just wanted to let you know I'm now on staff at my church, and we are going through a very difficult time. I know we are not alone. Covid has been very difficult on the church. My senior pastor just resigned, really because the life has been sucked out of him, and many people have left for seemingly silly reasons.
I recently discovered your podcast on the second mile. I burned through the whole thing in 2 weeks. It was all so relevant to everything we are dealing with. I just want to say thank you for your words! They have inspired me to keep going, keep loving, to do good not unto man but unto God. I feel tired and alone but your podcast inspires me to stay the course.
This sister is right. They're not alone. And it got me thinking it'd be good to talk a bit about the Second Mile as it relates to church unity and navigating difficulties together as the body of Christ. So here we go!
Join me for Episode 32 as dive into God's heart for His church, and how the Second Mile enables us to be ONE heart, one mind, united in our one glorious purpose.
Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.
1 Peter 4:19
So we know that evil is not God's will but our encounter with it can be. We know that we can suffer according to the will of God, bringing Him glory through it and actually ushering in His redemptive work when we go His way even when it hurts.
We saw that we can entrust our souls to God even when what we see doesn't make a lick of sense. Even when our minds can't wrap around the injustice that seems to prevail around us, we can say, It is well with my soul.
And now, it's time to get busy. We've settled. We've entrusted. Let's get busy doing good.
Doing good: That's what the Second Mile is all about. Instead of dwelling on the stinging cheek, we move forward and offer the other. Instead of throwing ourselves into defending our rights and our stuff, we let go of the tunic and offer the cloak. Instead of huffing and puffing over that first unfair mile, we lift our eyes to the One we really serve and with a little hop in our step we go not just one, but two.
The joy comes in the doing good.
What does that look like? How do we go about that. This is where the rubber meets the road and there are some critical lessons we must learn if we're going to get to that glorious second mile where we're actually free.
Join me for Episode 31 as we look at the critical truths that will equip us to joyfully enter the FREEDOM of that second mile. It's worth the struggle!
Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.
1 Peter 4:19
I love the Psalms because often they give voice to what we feel but probably wouldn't want to admit out loud.
I can say all the right things but inwardly be thinking, "How come THEY get to do XYZ and aren't convicted whatsoever but you won't let me?" Or, "Why do the people who don't even follow God seem to get ahead while those who are faithful to Him face nothing but suffering?"
If I'm honest, what I see with my eyes in the world around me looks suuuuuper unfair. Sometimes I can safely distance myself from all that feels wrong, but sooner or later we're forced to face it and honestly it can seem unbearable.
Enter Psalm 73. It's one of my favorites, and it provides us a blueprint for what this process looks like — giving God our honest agony and reminding our souls of what's true: It's good to be near God.
Join me for Episode 30 as dive into several Psalms together and learn, even when we can't wrap our minds around all we see in this world, how to entrust our souls to a faithful Creator. His peace surpasses understanding.
Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.
1 Peter 4:19
So how do we do this? How do we navigate our interactions with a broken, fallen world? Early on the pandemic (a year ago!) I remember hearing a lot of discussion about "Is this 'from God'?" Or not?
We know that death and disease are not God's will, He doesn't delight in those things, but of course we see God working good through crises of all kinds, every single day. So how do we resist evil but not resist the good God is doing? How do we "go the second mile" but still abhor evil the way God does?
I usually figure it's best to answer Scripture's questions with Scripture. In this case, 1 Peter 4:19 provides us a powerful 3-point outline of how we are to respond to the inevitable evil, unfairness, and even suffering that we encounter in this world. God's Word gives us exactly what we need!
Join me for Episode 29 as we talk about suffering according to God's will. We know evil is not God's will but our encounter with it can be when we allow Him to work redemption through our submission to Him. All can be redeemed for good! Such HOPE we have!
In this last leg of the Second Mile, we're talking about GENERAL INJUSTICES. Those things in life that feel maddeningly unfair. The ways that those in authority make demands that feel frustrating. The ways we might feel powerless, enslaved to a certain set of circumstances we don't have the power to change.
We sing things like "I surrender" or "laying down my life" or "whatever it takes" but then at the first whiff of being wronged we're so quick to defend everything that's ours. Or maybe that's just me!
In Luke 6, Jesus shares some more words that leave us scratching heads, "Does He mean that?" And, if He does -- how does this translate to the situations I face in daily life. Jesus says,
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
Luke 6:27-36
Give to everyone who begs? Wait, what? So I'm supposed to hand out cash to every panhandler on the offramp? And what's the point of lending if we're expecting nothing in return? Isn't that just giving?
While I don't think there easy answers to these questions, I love that Jesus' words are loud and clear, and He's letting us know in no uncertain terms: To follow Jesus means a willingness to get ripped off.
But ... as verse 35 so clearly states: It'll be worth it.
Join me for Episode 27 as we wrestle through these words from Luke 6 and learn a bit ore of what it looks like to follow Jesus and be sons of the Most High. Also we'll discuss how to navigate the complexity of Second Mile living when your spouse isn't onboard. Thanks for listening!
Have you ever wished you could just write a check to make someone come to Christ? Maybe that sounds bizarre, but I mean, haven’t you ever wished that you had that kind of power, just through incurring a cost, to actually influence a person’s soul for eternity?
What if we do?
Now before you totally write me off as a crazy heretic, just consider: What is it that gets people’s attention?
We are accustomed to people being self-seeking. We are accustomed to people demanding their rights. We are accustomed to everyone looking out for themselves.
We’re not accustomed to self-sacrifing love. We’re not accustomed to someone being willing to be wronged. We’re not accustomed to radical forgiveness.
That is what grips souls.
Consider this exerpt from Les Miserables, right after Jean Valjean has robbed the Bishop, and the police (gendarmes) catch him and bring him back:
[The Bishop] stepped to the chimney-piece, took the two silver candlesticks, and brought them to Jean Valjean. The two women looked on without uttering a word, without a gesture, without a look which could disconcert the Bishop.
Jean Valjean was trembling in every limb. He took the two candlesticks mechanically, and with a bewildered air.
“Now,” said the Bishop, “go in peace. By the way, when you return, my friend, it is not necessary to pass through the garden. You can always enter and depart through the street door. It is never fastened with anything but a latch, either by day or by night.”
Then, turning to the gendarmes:–
“You may retire, gentlemen.”
The gendarmes retired.
Jean Valjean was like a man on the point of fainting.
The Bishop drew near to him, and said in a low voice:–
“Do not forget, never forget, that you have promised to use this money in becoming an honest man.”
Jean Valjean, who had no recollection of ever having promised anything, remained speechless. The Bishop had emphasized the words when he uttered them. He resumed with solemnity:–
“Jean Valjean, my brother, you no longer belong to evil, but to good. It is your soul that I buy from you; I withdraw it from black thoughts and the spirit of perdition, and I give it to God.”
—ending of “Chapter XII. The Bishop Works” in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo
Join me for Episode 26 as we look at the POWER we have been given, to influence others and potentially even “buy their souls” for God, just through our willingness to forgive. So much to consider here! Thanks for joining!
"Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors..."
For the past few weeks we've been looking at COST. Some things that other people do cost us something. That's why they bother us! Jesus is talking about a situation where we are sued and our tunic is taken, and we are to not only NOT demand it back, we're supposed to offer our cloak as well!
The gist of this is: Other people's actions often cost us. They cost us convenience, they cost us time, they cost us money. The truth is, we're often "paying the price" for other people's choices.
How does Jesus tell us to respond to this?
Give more. Go farther.
This is so the exact opposite of how we want to respond. When I face circumstances that feel like they unfairly "take away" my preferences of conveniences, I want to push back against that! But the Jesus way is the opposite — He dives into discussions on forgiveness.
Forgiveness is HUGE. Without forgiveness there is no gospel. If we miss this message, if we gloss over the significant of forgiveness, we will miss Jesus. It's that simple.
Join me for Episode 25 as we look at what forgiveness really means. Cost, debt, repayment, reconciliation — all these financial terms help us understand the great gift of our salvation and what our Father expects us to offer others as well. Thanks for joining!
Do you ever find Scripture offensive? I mean, if we're honest, aren't there things Jesus says that make us like, "Really?! Does He mean that?!" The Second Mile commands might top the chart in terms of tough-to-swallow teachings.
Nevertheless, they're here, so we can wrestle with them and ask God to align our lives with His Word, or we can ignore them, and be in danger of unknowingly rejecting the authority of Scripture.
"If someone sues you and takes your tunic, give them your cloak as well."
—Jesus, Matthew 5:40
These are hard words, yes? But this sacrifice is clearly commended in other places as well:
"For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one."
Hebrews 10:34
Remember we've been talking about reward? That's front and center here! Jesus is saying that when we willingly let go of what we could claim as ours, we secure for ourselves a better possession, an abiding one, one that can't be destroyed by moth and rust, one that can't be stolen by thieves (Matt. 6:10).
Shall we dive into this? Join me for Episode 24 as we count the cost of following Jesus, recognizing what may be at stake, and resting in His promised provision for our lives. Thanks for joining!
We've been lingering a long time on the idea of a face slap, and Jesus' surprising instruction to turn and offer the other cheek as well. The essence of that is hurt and humiliation, it's being the brunt of someone's contempt, it's feeling the sting of a personal offense.
Now, let's turn the corner and consider the second portion of Jesus' second mile teaching:
"If someone sues you and takes your tunic, give them your cloak as well."
—Jesus, Matthew 5:40
I don't know about you, but this makes my inner justice-alarm start sounding wildly. “Wait. What?! Something’s taken unfairly and you’re saying give more?” Jesus' command here clearly represents an injustice. The items were taken wrongly. The situation is unfair. And yet, Jesus words couldn’t be clearer. One item taken? Offer two.
The essence of this wrong isn't hurt of humiliation, it's cost. What's been done to us costs us dearly, and we're required to offer even more? How does this bring the Kingdom of God?
Join me for Episode 23 as we consider how the perks and "added value" of giving can keep us from walking in the true generosity Jesus describes, the kind that brings the Kingdom of God on earth.
Happy New Year, friends! I'm so excited to be jumping back into the Second Mile together in this new year. These first episodes have focused primarily on the first part of Jesus' words (turn the cheek). Now, we're going to turn a corner and focus on the second portion of his command -- giving the tunic after our cloak has been unfairly taken. Lots to cover here!
But first, let's consider an all-too-common scenario: You feel a hurt or offense, or you're facing a predicament. You pray, perhaps fast, you seek the Scriptures, and you sense God's path forward of obedience. It may not be easy, it may even involve turning the cheek, but you do it by faith.
What often happens is that when we obey, we believe (without even realizing it) that the situation will work out favorably. The other person will also respond in a godly way, or the conflict will work itself out. Whatever the circumstance, we tend to expect that if we do the right thing, a positive outcome will occur.
But what if it doesn't? What do we do when the right thing goes wrong? When the other person is madder? When it feels like obedience to God lands us in a hornet's nest? What then??
Thankfully, the Scriptures don't follow the Hollywood trend of predicable plots and overused story-lines. We get some significant surprises in the pages of Scripture. King David gives us an up-close look at how we are to handle this frustrating, and often heart-breaking, scenario, when the right thing goes wrong.
Join me for Episode 22 as we get honest about the frustration and pain we feel when the right thing goes wrong.
My family’s favorite podcast is, hands-down, the Brant and Sherri Oddcastfeaturing Brant Hansen who authored the outstanding book Unoffendable. In one episode, Brant was demonstrating the danger of hurry by sharing a story about college students who were given a topic to study, then told they were to go to another building where they would give a short speech on this topic.
Some of the students studied the story of the Good Samaritan from Luke’s gospel, while other students studied topics unrelated to compassion or service. Before walking to the other building, an actor was staged along the path, pretending to be injured and in need. Then of the students were told they were late for their speech appointment, while other students were told they had plenty of time.
That is, some students felt rushed, some didn't.
To a one, the students who believed they “had time” stopped and helped the injured person, while those who believed they didn’t “have time” ignored the injured actor even if they were going to speak on the story of the Good Samaritan. That is, the fact that they’d just studied about stopping for an injured person had no impact on their decision, the deciding factor was whether or not they believed they “had time” to stop.
The deciding factor on whether we do some good work or not: Whether or not we believe we have the necessary resources to do it.
Will we live out the Second Mile or not? What is the determining factor?
Join me for Episode 21 as we examine the ways that a "lack" mentality sabotages our Second Mile efforts. What would Jesus say to us who feel this overwhelming sense of being spread too thin? Good news ahead.
As we begin wading into Second Mile waters, we'll inevitably have some objections, or at least valid questions that surface. What about abuse? Does God call me to be a doormat? Aren't we enabling people? This looks a lot like codependence!
True, at first glance, the Second Mile can look frighteningly similar to codependence. Someone slaps you and you purposefully turn your cheek, isn't that enabling that person to slap you again?
Codependence says: I need you to love me, so I’ll do whatever it takes to get, or keep, your love.
Christlikeness says: I don’t need you to love me, I love you because Christ loves me, so I’ll do whatever He says because I already have His love and approval.
Codependence says: I need you to approve of me in order to be okay, so I won’t resist any of your sinful behaviors because I fear losing your approval.
Christlikeness says: I don’t need your approval, I’m already okay because Christ has approved of me. I can therefore do whatever it takes to help you be free from sinful behaviors (even if that includes contacting authorities), because I’m not afraid of losing your approval.
Codependence says: I’m desperate, and I’m nothing on my own, so I’ll revolve my entire life around doing whatever it takes to keep you near.
Christlikeness says: Because I am in Christ, I’m not desperate. I'll serve you to whatever extreme Christ determines, because I only serve one Master and that is Him.
Codependence says: I live to please you, person.
Christlikeness says: I live to please You, God.
Questions to consider:
Does this person’s Facebook “like” on your post means more than anyone else’s?
Does his or her not liking your post negatively affect your mood?
Does this person have the power to make you cry easily? After an interaction do you find yourself moody, anxious, or depressed?
Does he or she have greater say in your decision-making than God and His Word?
Do you find yourself grumpy or short with your family if you have a negative interaction with this person?
If plans with this person are cancelled, are you relieved?
Are you willing to sacrifice significant time/comfort/money in order to please this person? Would you make the same sacrifice for your spouse or close friend?
Are you afraid to vocalize an opinion that you know they’d disagree with?
Do you feel guilty for making a decision you know they’d disagree with?
When you need to talk to this person about something important, do you get a stomach ache or feel overly stressed?
Do others (i.e. your family) get neglected because you overly prioritize this person’s needs/wants/preferences?
Looking to Jesus:
Jesus never shied away from speaking truth for fear of offending someone.
Jesus never begged anyone to follow him, like him, or approve of him.
Jesus consistently identified with socially unacceptable or unclean people.
Jesus was never afraid of rejection.
Jesus never let others’ criticism or ridicule negatively affect his interactions with others.
Jesus continued to show love and kindness toward those who mistreated him.
Jesus never showed favoritism to the rich, influential, popular, etc.
Jesus never retaliated or sought revenge.
Jesus never chased after someone who walked away from Him.
Jesus was never overwhelmed by all the needs around Him.
Jesus was never guilted into doing something that wasn’t the will of God.
Jesus never hurried.
Join me for Episode 20 as we discover the difference between codependence and true Christianity, as well as consider some wisdom if we find ourselves in dangerous or harmful situations...
So, if we're not to resist the one who is evil but we ARE to resist evil and specifically the Evil One ... how does this play out in real life? How do we resist evil without resisting the person who's embodying that evil?
I've mentioned a few times that a dear friend of mine has had to walk this out in ways that have amazed me time and time again. I've seen her navigate the difficulties of this very thing, and it's given me such a beautiful example. I'd love to share with you a bit of her journey.
There's another person who's spoken at length on this topic, you might be a familiar with him ;)
…love means understanding goodwill for all men and a refusal to defeat any individual. And so somehow love makes it possible for you to place your vision and to center your activity on the evil system and not the individual enemy who may be caught up in that system. And so you set out to defeat segregation and not the segregationist. You set out to defeat the evil system of communism and not the communist. And there is a great deal of difference there. And there must be an active love for the individuals who may be caught up in an evil unjust system while we continue to work passionately and unrelentingly to do away with the system itself. (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, sermon from March 7, 1961, "Loving Your Enemies")
Join me here for Episode 19 as we learn how to be FOR people while being against the evil that so often works in and through them...
When Jesus said, "Do not resist the one who is evil," what did he MEAN? Does this mean we're just to go along with every injustice and never push back against the evils we see at work in our lives and our world? Are we just to be spineless blobs ever-turning cheeks and offering cloaks and sort of passively accepting whatever comes our way?
In this short episode we dive into the clear Scriptural teaching on who to really resist, and how. Thanks for continuing with me along this journey!
Join me here for Episode 18 ...
So we know the real enemy is the one behind the person who's hurt/frustrated/offended us. Remember the spit-wad from the back of the classroom? It's really Gilbert Blythe, not Josie Pye, who is to blame. It's easy to take aim at a person, but the Devil is the enemy, and he wants us to fight against our visible enemy and ignore the invisible battle where he is seeking to steal, kill and destroy.
So how do we really win? The Second Mile gives us a super cool battle plan that's surprisingly simple to employ in any situation. It can even become fun. And the more we spend time in God's Word and get to know His heart, the better we'll be able to employ this method and deal a death blow to the Devil's schemes. Don't miss this simple but powerful strategy!
Join me here for Episode 17 and let's learn how to REALLY win...
Scammed. Tricked. Duped. No one wants that, right? But sadly, this happens all the time, to us, when we're ignorant of what's really going on around us.
In this episode, I share about an experience where I felt a level of anger toward someone that was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Through it, God showed me a vivid picture of what takes place when we allow our anger to rest on a person rather than correctly identifying the true Enemy behind it all. Remember, virtually everything Satan does, he does through people. So, we must be wise as serpents and innocent as doves, gracious and kind, knowing the secret to overcoming evil with good. We must keep our eye on the real battle at hand.
I hope this illustration can be as helpful for you as it has been for me. Plus, it's just fun to talk about Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe, and spit-wads. ;)
Join me here for Episode 16 as we consider how to wisen up and defeat our one real Enemy...
Whether they meant it or not, the fact is you feel slapped. There's a sting. It hurts and you instinctively recoil, pull back, hide, distance. The truth is, we unknowingly slap each other all the time, especially during times of disagreement and tension (anybody know any times like those happening these days?). What does turning the cheek really mean? Refusing cancel culture. It means staying close. Turning the cheek means a willingness to stay close enough that your other cheek is vulnerable. It means you say with your actions: I'm willing to be hurt again if it means staying close enough to bless you. You might get stung again, but that's ok because you're choosing to the way of Jesus. I have been the recipient of this blessing, even this week, and I urge you to please listen in and consider the implications of this in your own life. Don't underestimate the power of blessing. We need it more than ever before.
Join me here for Episode 15 as we contemplate the good news: Your freedom isn't dependent on anyone else. Be free...
Is there anything more frustrating (and painful) than when someone hurts you, but never acknowledges the wrong, or worse, acts like it's your fault? For example:
- Your husband admits he accesses pornography, but he can’t understand why you seem so upset about it.
- Your mom’s terrible choices deeply wounded you as a youth, but she’s oblivious, always referring to “your magical childhood," re-writing the narrative through her own skewed perspective.
- Your dad abandons your mom for other woman and expects you to be best friends with her kids. He can’t understand why you're not excited about having a “bonus family.”
- Or, as the Apostle Peter clearly struggled with, what about when someone just hurts you again and again and again. How many times do we have to forgive?
Here's the thing: At first, Jesus' commands about forgiveness feel unfair. They seem insane. Too much. There's no way. But there's a profound promise hidden beneath these seemingly impossible commands and if we will take Him at His Word, we'll experience a FREEDOM that would never be possible if we only based our forgiveness on the other person's worthiness or apology.
We don't have to wait around for someone else to say they're sorry. Or make it right. Or even understand what they've done wrong.
Jesus says, Your healing and freedom is dependent on NO ONE ELSE but Me.
Good news!
Join me here for Episode 14 as we contemplate the good news: Your freedom isn't dependent on anyone else. Be free...
As we look at the particulars of Jesus' Second Mile instruction in Matthew 5, it's fascinating to see the three facets of wrong-doing that He addresses in three short sentences. First of all He speaks of the slap. This isn't an impersonal injustice. This is the up-close and personal wound of a friend. You can see the whites of their eyes. A slap is a sign of contempt, from someone you trusted enough to come within arm's reach. In this episode we look at why the slap stings so much, drawing from Psalm 55 and the experience of the mighty King David.
"If a soldier or other government official conscripts your services to carry a load for him so far, you are under the compulsion; you are forced to do it. But when you have reached the end of your stipulated distance, you are a free person again; then you can say to him, “If you’d like it carried farther, I will gladly carry it for you.’ The initiative has now become yours, and you can take it not by voicing a sense of grievance at having been put to such inconvenience but by performing an act of grace."
—F.F. Bruce, The Hard Sayings of Jesus, p. 69
“The penurious moralist stingily expending himself no farther than the law requires, is a pitifully sad fellow, who has never learned that it is hard work serving as a drafted man in a battle you would like to avoid, but it is glorious business fighting as a volunteer for a cause you love.”
Harry Fosdick, The Second Mile, pp. 28-29
Turning the cheek, giving someone the shirt off your back, and slogging along a forced-mile sounds miserable. Yes? And as long as we're in that "have-to" mindset, it is miserable. But that's just it—the secret of the Second Mile is that you break the back of unfair compulsion with the power of voluntary generosity. It's a completely upside-down counter-attack of kindness that frees you from that miserable victim-feeling and turns you into a victorious fighter for the cause of Christ. Come along as we contemplate what's really at stake here, and how we can—even today—turn the tables and find joy. Join me here for Episode 12 as we follow Jesus into FREEDOM...
Tortilla chips without salt? No, thanks.
Similarly, who wants the burden of religious obligations without the actual life-transforming power of Jesus that enables us to do what is humanly impossible? If the gospel doesn't empower us to love our enemies, how are we any different from the world? In this episode we look at the total transformation of one disciple, and how completely changed He was by the upside way of Christ.
What if our lives were marked by this supernatural, inexplicable love for even those we most naturally dislike?
Join me here for Episode 11 as we seek to be salty, just as Jesus intended...
Thankfully, we don't just have Saul, Ahab, and Jonah as our examples. The Old Testament also gives us three guys who are a great example of emotional health. Joseph, David, and Ezekiel shine as stunning examples for us to follow. What can we learn from their lives? Also, if we do identify some emotional instability or dysfunction in our lives, what are practical steps we can take toward freedom? Let's talk about all this! Join me here for Episode 10...
Have you looked at the life of someone great, or someone super not-so-great, and wondered, How did they get to this place? You know there were so many choices along the way, and it's fascinating (at least to me) to study the lives of these people and learn. Today we get to dive into the lives of three emotionally dysfunctional men in Scripture and see how their choices led to instability, fragility, and volatility. Let's take note and let their lives teach us valuable lessons for our journey into emotional health. Join me here for Episode 9...
On the one hand, we've seen how letting our emotions enslave us or dictate our behavior leads to bondage, and keeps us from being useful to serve those around us. On the other hand, our God-given emotions DO play an important role in our lives, if we wisely tune into what they're telling us, using God's Word to interpret them and inform our conclusions and actions. Sure, emotions may not tell us the truth about reality, but they do tell us a lot about ourselves, and can be a powerful catalyst for providing empathy, which is essential to going the Second Mile. Join me here for Episode 8 »
Hey friends! Joining you pretty much in real-time here, it's Sunday evening and I'm here in Oregon in the midst of the wildfires. What a week. First chance I've had to steal away and share thoughts, we don't have internet but Jeff is uploading this via his hot spot (which is a TERRIBLE term to use right now in the midst of forest fires!). I wanted to share about our week this week in the midst of forest fires and evacuations, but also share a bit of my personal journey through learning about how we must learn to have victory over our emotions in order to be useful and serve others. Something tells me this is something we're going to need ASAP. ;) Join me here for Episode 7 ...
This would all be easy except for ...
... how I FEEL.
Anybody else?
Second Mile living is easy when I'm "feelin' it". When I'm filled with all those happy-Jesus-vibes and generosity just seems to flow freely isn't it just so beautiful when we just all love each other?
Until he says that thing, or you see that post or read the message that just sends your blood pressure through the roof. Or you feel so deeply hurt or alone or left out or wrongly judged or betrayed or whatever -- and you feel ALL THE FEELS.
Even the exact same circumstance can FEEL different based on so many factors.
So here's what we have to figure out: Can feelings be commanded? Can God command us to FEEL a certain way? How much control do we have over our feelings?
We're starting a quick mini-series, within the Second Mile, to tackle some of these questions, because until we figure out feelings, we won't be able to figure out freedom. Join me here for Episode 6 ...
Do not eat the bread of a man who is stingy, do not desire his delicacies, for he is like one who is inwardly calculating.
“Eat and drink!” he says to you, but his heart is not with you.
—Proverbs. 23:6-7
There is profound relational wisdom wrapped up in this proverb, with a far wider reach than mere eating and drinking. We’ve probably all encountered those relationships that, although we can’t quite put our finger on it, there seems to be a hidden scorecard tucked away somewhere. Kindness seems silently documented, and generosity received makes you feel indebted somehow.
The truth is, it’s certainly not life-giving to be in relationship with someone who’s keeping a ledger of relational credits and debts. But as much as I’d love to focus on those people, the truth is, we all have a tendency to slip into a ledger lifestyle. Although we’ve not usually aware of it, when someone hurts us it is uncanny how quickly that ledger surfaces … suddenly we remember all the other things that person has done.
So how do we find freedom from this stingy-grace, from the ledger-lifestyle, and learn instead to keep no record of wrongs? Join me here for Episode 5…
"Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see."—Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place
I don't think anyone saw this coming. Maybe a few had an inkling, but for the most part, no one knew 2020 would be like this. What a great reminder that only God knows the future, and therefore only God knows how to prepare you for the future. I love those words by Corrie Ten Boom, and they always come to mind when facing challenges, hardship, or situations I wouldn't choose. I think: This is preparation for a future that only God can see.
Today I want to share with you a few experiences that gave me a heightened sense of urgency about The Second Mile, and why we need to be prepared.
The Second Mile can be summed up fairly simply: Whatever is unfairly required, demanded, or taken—joyfully give even more. That’s the spiritual secret to lifelong freedom, the secret to breaking the power of injustice, the secret to living above the fray of unfairness. Super simple.
Also, it seems, totally backwards.
But isn't that exactly how Jesus' kingdom is? Jesus came to give what everyone desires: life.
But, strangely enough, this life comes at a cost—death.
His death brought eternal life, and we also find life by losing ours. No less than six times throughout the gospels we see Jesus presenting this surprising path to life:
Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it (Matthew 10:39).
For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it (Matthew 16:25).
For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it (Mark 8:35).
For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it (Luke 9:24).
Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it (Luke 17:33).
Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life (John 12:25).
If there was ever a repeated theme in all four gospels, this is it! He’s reminding us again and again that this new life he’s giving isn’t found through a few small behavior modifications. Jesus knows that we’ll never be truly free as long as we’re content to tinker around with our inner person, tweaking this or that, busying ourselves with small adjustments while keeping him at arm’s length. His outrageous claims demand our absolute attention and an honest self-evaluation: Am I willing to die in order to live?
Join along for an honest conversation about this surprising path to life in Episode 3...
I've been following Jesus (closely or distantly) since childhood, for about 35 years. For most of those years, I shunned the most obvious sins—10 Commandment stuff: sexual immorality, lying, stealing, cursing, that sort of thing. When wronged or hurt, I responded with general kindness. I didn’t gossip, backbite, throw a fit, or respond hatefully. I was a speaker and Bible teacher, a pastor’s wife, a homeschool mother of 2, a graduate of seminary. I had taught scores if not hundreds of Bible studies.
But if you had, figuratively speaking, viciously slapped me across the face, if you had sued me for absolutely no reason and taken the very clothes off my back, if you had unfairly forced me to humiliating and exhausting work that was actually YOURS to do, in short if you would have attacked me in some way… I would’ve done exactly what virtually every Christian counselor would have told me to do and what most well-meaning Christian friends would tell me to do:
I would’ve stood up for myself. I probably would’ve couched it in Christian terms, of course. Something like: I know my identity and I’m a daughter of the king so I don’t have to be treated like this.
This feels an awful lot like the world's wisdom, doesn't it? Something along the lines of: Get even. Fight back. Stand up for yourself.
I think there’s a reason we gravitate to this option—there’s actually a strong biblical case for this call-down-fire Christianity.
In fact, it's possible to know Jesus, even walk beside Jesus, and still react to offenses the exact same way as the world. A few of Jesus' disciples did exactly this.
Today we talk about call-down-fire Christianity, what eventually transformed Jesus' followers, and what will transform us ...
I got 2020’d again.
Have you heard this phrase? Or maybe its variant: 2020 strikes again. I don’t usually like wide-stroked painting of an entire year, but I have to admit if there was a year that deserved to be a verb, it’s 2020. It has like it’s one thing after another.
Honestly? I think more is in store. I think now is the time to figure out what to do with everything we didn’t ask for. Unkind people. Mistreatment. Unfair situations. Frustrations and disappointments.
Today’s the day, we’re diving in–what to do with everything you didn’t ask for, and a little bit about our hard-wired Justice-Meter.