be known: Recent Episodes
Kerrah E. Fabacher, LPC-S
This is a podcast for those who want authentic and whole relationships with others, yourself, and God. A Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Life Coach, your host Kerrah E. Fabacher helps you exchange fear for love so that you can finally see what good relationships are made of. If you long to have healthy relationships, come on in and sit a while. Come see that you are not alone, that you matter, you are loved, and that life-giving relationships are possible. Let's see what kind of healing happens here. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Let's talk about a simple empathy statement that can be so helpful to diffuse tension in hard conversations and moments.
Resources and Links:
Episode 24: Practice Active Listening
Episode 85: Practicing Empathy
Instagram: @beknownthepodcast or @kerrahelizabeth
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Originally published as Episode 6, let's talk about boundaries in relation to closeness and distance in relationships with one of my favorite metaphors-- houses with picket fences.
Follow along with me on Instagram at @beknownthepodcast or @kerrahelizabeth
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
This is the second part of a two-part mini series on forgiveness. Today, we're talking about what forgiveness entails and why it's so hard sometimes.
Listen in,
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Forgiveness definition
Lysa TerKeurst's Forgiving What You Can't Forget
Instagram: @beknownthepodcast or @kerrahelizabeth
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Forgiveness is a really tough topic, because though it is something that is good for us all to learn and to practice, it is nuanced and complicated and so, so hard.
Here's more of what I've learned about forgiveness over the years.
Resources and Links mentioned:
https://www.compassionandwisdom.org/blog/2023/9/19/respect-the-key-to-success-happiness-and-strong-relationships-?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjLGyBhCYARIsAPqTz19KpL_E0aMA6tjSEwqPTl0BV_QHD3OoxerwkOgDbCVwxqbKGVM-wR0aApKJEALw_wcB
Grace Vs. Enabling, Episode 60
When You Can't Forget, Episode 44
Forgive Yourself, Episode 7
Instagram:
@beknownthepodcast and @kerrahelizabeth
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
There is usually a more generous interpretation of how someone is acting than what we see on the surface. This concept is from Dr. Becky of Good Inside, and I've shared it with you to help be able to apply to your relationships.
Links and Resources:
Dr. Becky
See the Inner Child Episode
@beknownthepodcast or @kerrahelizabeth on Instagram
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
After a long break, the podcast is back!
Sometimes we can be in seasons where we are more seen, and others where we need to be unseen. And sometimes that unseen season lasts longer than we expect it to. But it's just what I needed.
Connect with me more over on Instagram:
@beknownthepodcast
@kerrahelizabeth
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
For the final episode of the year, I love to go back and reflect.
I hope you can hear your story in some of mine.
I'll see you in the New Year.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
We've all had to survive. And that in of itself is extremely hard. So it seems like it's time to honor what it's taken for us to survive.
Listen in.
Website
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
How many of us have been conditioned to believe that our wants and desires don't matter or that they're inherently wrong? So we don't really ever get acquainted with or acknowledge our wants.
But we do have permission to want. And we have permission to name what we want.
Listen in.
Resources mentioned and links:
The Soul of Desire by Curt Thompson
Connect on Instagram
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Let's talk about things we must remember when talking with someone about something hard, like something they've done to hurt us, something we've done to hurt them, or something they've done that's caused emotional distress in some way.
There are ways to go about these kind of moments, so let's all do our best.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
There is so much pain. So much trauma. So much sorrow. So much grief. Too much knowledge of good and evil.
The world is longing for the light. For life instead.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Every Moment Holy, Volume 2
Follow along on Instagram
More resources and how to connect with Kerrah
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Coined by Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of EFT, pursuers and withdrawers are often the roles people play in their close relationships, especially romantic relationships. Some relationships may have two pursuers. Some two withdrawers. But many times one is the pursuer and one the withdrawer, and it causes a lot of tension and conflict.
So let's talk look at each, provide a description of their behaviors, deeper needs and feelings, strengths and weaknesses and then talk about how to start moving forward.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Article on Pursuers
Article on Withdrawers
New Podcast Instagram! Follow and like!
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
We all need to process through our experiences. We may not always be able to know the meaning behind something or why it happened in our lives, but we can understand it more fully and notice how we feel and think in it, because of it.
Today, we're talking about the difference between internal and external processors, as well as slow vs. fast processors.
Listen in!
Resources and links mentioned
Processing defintion
Internal vs. External
Kerrah's website
Check out the new questions and polls below!
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Man, what a ride! Can't believe we've made it to 100 episodes. Listen in for some of the story behind the show and what the podcast has taught me over the last several years.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Stories draw us together, but sometimes someone else's story triggers us because it's a little too similar to our own. Listen in for how to handle this when it happens.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
We all need connection, but not all connection is the same. There are various types of connection, and there are different levels of connection, too, based on the different kinds of relationships we have.
So let's identify these kinds of connection so we understand them better.
Come connect with me on our new Instagram page:
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
It's so good to be back! We've taken a couple of months off, and now I'm reminding listeners what this podcast is all about as we ease into new episodes this fall! Listen in.
Other resources and how to connect:
www.kerrahfabacher.com
Instagram www.instagram.com/beknownthepodcast
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
For our last episode in summer '23, we're talking about how to have proactive boundaries, and how they're different from reactive boundaries. Listen in.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Felt safety is one of the most important things in our healing journeys. We should shoot for actual safety, too, but let's talk about the difference between the two.
Resources Mentioned:
Strong Like Water, By Aundi Kolber
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Narratives are powerful, but they can be changed. What if it's possible to change the narrative we have about ourselves?
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Healing Through Words, By Rupi Kaur
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Because we never know what someone may be walking through.
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
We all grow and change through the years, and hopefully, we mature, too. I wish I'd known (and done) some things differently regarding friendships, so here are some of those things so you (or a young person you know) can begin to start approaching friendship in more healthy ways.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Episode 43: Safe People
Safe People, by Cloud and Townsend
Hashtag for Instagram: #beknownthepodcast
Website for more
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Even when we're silent, He hears.
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Boundaries are all kinds of magic. Let's talk about the nervous system and how boundaries can help the nervous system get regulated and reduce stress.
Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
MHS Article
APA on Trauma
Instagram post on boundaries and trauma
Boundaries Coaching
Aundi Kolber's Try Softer and Strong Like Water
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
MaryB. Safrit is an author, producer, and singles coach passionate about closing the gap between what the church offers and what single Christians need. Her book, The Single Christian's Church Survival Guide: How to Navigate Church Culture and Conversations Without Losing Your Mind, is available on Amazon. You can listen to Unsuitable with MaryB. Safrit wherever you get your podcasts. Follow her on Instagram and TikTok @maryb.safrit. Check out more writings, resources, and freebies at marybsafrit.com.
Links:
My Friend's Wedding
WDWTB
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Part 2 of 2 of the inner child content, today we're talking about how to parent yourself in ways you needed to be parented as a child. Nurture, Protect, and Counsel. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Sponsor an episode: email info@kerrahfabacher.com
Follow me on Instagram @kerrahfabacher
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
Trigger Warning- parent/ attachment wounds
Part 2 of 2 of the inner child content, today we're talking about how to parent yourself in ways you needed to be parented as a child. Nurture, Protect, and Counsel. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Sponsor an episode: email info@kerrahfabacher.com
Follow me on Instagram @kerrahfabacher
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
What if we chose to see beyond others' behaviors, beyond their defenses, and saw the inner child in them instead?
It could be transformative in our relationships.
Listen in.
Don't forget! Follow, Rate, and Review the show!
How to financially support the podcast (just click the "Support" button)
Come follow me!
--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beknown/support
As the podcast preps to take a break during this Lent season, I wanted to do something a bit different today. This is a meditative practice for when the darkness feels a bit too dark and when the light is hard to find.
May this season be healing. And I'll see you soon.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Most people are beginning to realize how empathy needs to play a role in all relationships, but they're not sure how. In this episode, we'll give some specific statements and behaviors to help.
Resources and Links Mentioned in the Episode:
One-on-one coaching
Episode 72: Make Space for Interruptions
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Oops! For those who already heard the unedited version that accidentally got released, here's the cleaned up version! :) Cheers to learning how to date ourselves and push back on the culture that says Valentine's is just for romance.
--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/appSupport this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We all have a story. And if we're not willing to look back at it, process it, move through it, and resolve it, our relationships will suffer. Sometimes, they'll suffer greatly. Let's talk about the impact our stories can have.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
To Be Told, by Dan Allender
Become a monthly supporter!
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
That's what we're striving for, right? Listen in for a gentle reminder of why relational wholeness matters, some signs your relationships may be unhealthy, and questions to ask yourself to begin working toward health.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Entering a New Year can be so quick that we neglect to slow down and reflect on what we just ended. And we do this when lots of things end and begin in our lives, so to welcome us back to the podcast after a break, I'm reflecting, too. Listen in.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
As I prepare to enter into a more quiet season during Advent, this will be the last episode of 2022, and I thought it'd be fitting just to spend time reflecting on the year together.
Some come on in a sit a while. Grab a cup of coffee and listen in.
--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
People's choices are their own to make, and we need to let them have autonomy to make them. Listen in to what this can look like for us in a healthy way.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
As a follow-up to the last episode, today, we're digging deeper into secure attachment and how to get there. This is is one of the most important topics you'll ever need to talk about and understand as you pursue healthier relationships, so listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in Episode:
Questions to Build Emotional Awareness
The Anatomy of Trust (Brene Brown)
Episode 43. Safe People
Episode 59. When Safe People Are No Longer Safe
Episode 76. When to Walk Away
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Written by my friend and boss, Carianne Pritchett, a Licensed Professional Counselor, Episode 77 is her story of how she realized she didn't know secure attachments in her relationships and how she began to heal. We're talking briefly about attachment styles and beginning the conversation on how to heal and develop more secure attachments. Next episode, we'll talk more about secure attachments with others. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Brene Brown's The Anatomy of Trust
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
I can't tell you how many times I've had this conversation lately-- people who are struggling in their relationships, something major had happened, the same old patterns are happening and nothing's changing. And they don't know whether to leave the relationship or stay. This could be in many different types of relationships, too, not just romantic. So, even though this topic is complicated and will always depend on the individual's situation, here are some signs it may be time to walk away. Listen in.
Also, the podcast is taking a short two-week break! I'll see you soon :).
Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 14: When to Say Goodbye
Episode 67 with Mary B. Safrit: Five Practices for When Your Friends Leave
Episode 59: When Safe People No Longer Feel Safe
Website
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We talk about being intentional with others, but what does it mean? In this episode we're talking about how to be intentional in our relationships. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Monday Minute
Website
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We aren't always very kind to ourselves. I think a lot of the expectations we have of ourselves are unrealistic and unhealthy, so let's talk about how to adjust them so we can be kinder. And more compassionate and gracious. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Episode 17: Adjust Your Expectations
Website
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
As humans, we all need to do better at apology, normalizing it and practicing it in effective, honest ways. Let's jump into what genuine apology is and is not. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in This Episode:
Full Life Christian Counseling Blog Post: Let's Normalize Genuine Apology
Website
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We're not always great at allowing others to interrupt our lives, to stop us to talk and we listen or call us and we actually answer. Or make a bid for connection and we don't turn away. We're not great at this at all. We don't like for our lives to be interrupted. We don't want to be stopped, to be inconvenienced. And that's kind of a selfish way to live. Let's talk about it.
Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode:
www.kerrahfabacher.com/shop
www.kerrahfabacher.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We're jumping back into the podcast after a little break with a hot topic. Today, we're talking about modesty culture, how it negatively affected young women in the church, and how we can begin making a shift in thinking and how we handle modesty from this point on so we're not leading to more body shame. We're not about that anymore because that's messing up the relationship we have with ourselves. Cool? Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode:
Dr. Camden Morgante on Modesty Culture:
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChFBy6vtx58/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChKKGb1sWDV/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Dr. Camden Morgante on Five Toxic Christian Cultures
Genesis 2-3
Coaching with Kerrah
Transcript
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
So you know how we are getting better at expressing our needs to our humans? Well, it's very possible our humans might not be able to meet the need we have, the one we specifically requested they meet. And if we're honest, we often feel hurt, betrayed, and even attacked when they have to say no. We also feel anxious because now we have to figure out who else to ask. Let's talk about what it looks like to handle this with grace.
Also, this is a see you soon episode! The podcast will be back in August!
Resources and Links Mentioned in the Episode:
Transcript
Website
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Sometimes people will tell us something that is true or that has a little truth in it, and it can be super painful for us to hear. I value truth and clarity and honesty in my relationships. In fact, I don’t have time for people who won’t show up authentically. But sometimes that honesty hurts. Sometimes it hurts a lot.
Especially when it feels true.
What do we do when someone tells us something that is hard to hear or that reinforces a negative belief about ourselves? Or what if what they are saying has truth to it?
How can we respond?
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
One Open Coaching Spot! Book Now!
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
I think we're all a little angry right now. And grieving. And rightfully so with everything going on in our world and in our nation. So today, I'm just making space for that, but also for us who believe in Jesus to remember who we are. To not let our anger consume when it feels hard to love. We're in Colossians 3. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in Episode:
Colossians 3:5-17 (TPT)
Come hang on Instagram
Website
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
My friend Mary B. Safrit, host of the Unsuitable Podcast, a podcast for single Christians, is our guest today. She shares about the importance of friendship to a single person and why it's so hard when friendships end. She then gives us five helpful practices when our friends leave that I think will be helpful for singles and non-singles alike. All of us know the pain of losing a friend, so I hope you enjoy today's episode written and recorded by my dear friend!
Resources and Links Mentioned in Episode:
How to connect with Mary B. -->
marybsafrit.com
Wedding Guide
Another helpful episode on this topic:
When to Say Goodbye: Episode 14
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
In this episode, we're talking about the concept of rupture and repair, often discussed in the field of psychotherapy. But we're not looking at rupture and repair in our relationships with others. We're looking at the process in our relationship with ourselves. How I treat myself matters, and it's time I took steps to repair any damage I've caused here. Listen in.
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
"On 'Rupture' and 'Repair'" from The School of Life
Matthew 22:34-40
Episode 7: Forgive Yourself
Episode 19: Listen
To Bless the Space Between Us, John O'Donahue
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Sometimes we set limits in ways that are hurtful to others, like really hurtful. I asked a friend of mine to share a story of when this has happened to him. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode:
The Boundaries Bootcamp
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We can talk a lot on the concept of emotional boundaries. What if our emotions have too much of an affect on someone else? Or what if we can't seem to separate ourselves from the emotions of others? Come on in. What does it mean to have good emotional boundaries? Let's sit a while and chat about it.
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
One-on-One Coaching with me
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
When we have good boundaries, we aren't taking as our own someone else's consequences for their decisions. But what if in some cases we do? What if we have to deal with their consequences for whatever reason? How can we handle that? Listen in.
Resources mentioned in this Episode:
Listen to Episode 28
The Boundaries Bootcamp
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Today, I'm being honest with you about how I've not really felt God near lately. How I've had questions, but I'm not sure he's been answering. I'm sure many of you can relate. So in true Kerrah fashion, we're not going to pretend we don't feel confused and frustrated about this. As always, I hope my vulnerability will help you be honest with yourself, too.
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
Say Yes: Discovering the Surprising Life Beyond the Death of a Dream, by Scott Erickson
Questions to help build emotional awareness
Financially support the podcast (Click the support button)
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
A simple prayer as we prepare to enter the season of Lent.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
There is a distinct difference between grace and enabling. One is the obviously more healthy choice. One is not. So how can we do the former without slipping into the latter? How can we show grace without enabling someone else's harmful behavior? Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Transcript
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
To think about the characteristics of unsafe vs. safe people, go listen to episode 43, Safe People. But let's talk about a part of this that feels hard. What do we do when our safe people no longer feel safe? We'll talk about some behaviors that would make us feel unsafe and some possible next steps when that happens. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
Episode 43: Safe People
Safe People, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Transcript
Instagram: @kerrahfabacher
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Though not everything is redeemed in the way we'd hoped, I'm a firm believer that everything is redeemable. It's one thing that brings me hope. In this episode, we are digging into what redemption can mean in our lives.
Resources and links mentioned:
Psalm 130 (TPT)
Meaning of redeem/redemption in original Hebrew
Blog series about honesty in our emotions
Transcript
Follow along on Instagram
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
I think at some point we all have difficulty believing. Believing in God at all or believing in Him to do miracles or change things anymore. Because when we look around, it's hard to see Him at work. I think it's better to acknowledge this together than deal with it alone. We're in this together. Let's be honest together and let's heal together.
Resources and links mentioned:
Original blog post episode is based on: How I Lost My Faith
The Boundaries Bootcamp (on sale only until end of January!)
Instagram: @kerrahfabacher
Get Out of Your Head, by Jennie Allen
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Don't you love this slightly annoying Christian phrase? Speak the truth in love. Well, today, we are actually going to talk about it, what it means, and how we can speak truth to others in a kind and respectful way. Assertiveness matters. Telling someone how we feel and what we're thinking about matters. But it also matters how we say it. We don't want to be people who speak our minds with no regard about how it could affect someone else. Let's be people who consider others as we use our voice to speak truth.
In this episode, I'll share with you some practical ways to be considerate and thoughtful when you need to speak up.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Galatians 4 (NLT)
The Boundaries Bootcamp
www.kerrahfabacher.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
I don't know who hasn't been grieving lately, and we don't always know how to help those who are. Sometimes we try to say or do something, but that something isn't always helpful. Let's talk about what not to do when someone you love is grieving and what can be helpful instead.
Resources and Links:
Every Moment Holy, Volume 2
www.kerrahfabacher.com
Instagram: @kerrahfabacher
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Happy New Year! My beginning this year isn't all about the resolutions, because honestly, my brain is still recovering from March 2020. But I do choose a word for every year, and this my word is attuned. I think we can all grow in being more aware, listening, understanding, and responding to life and people thoughtfully and purposefully. Listen for how to begin paying closer attention in your life as we talk more about being attuned.
Resources and Links:
www.kerrahfabacher.com/monday-minute
www.kerrahfabacher.com/podcast
Instagram: @kerrahfabacher
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
2021 was about taking steps for me. Mainly taking steps backward to heal, to reflect. Because Advent is upon us, I am stepping back from the podcast, the Monday Minute, and social media in the month of December to reflect on the year and spend time with my people. In this episode, I've given you an opportunity to do the same. I hope it is a meaningful and centering practice for you as you close out 2021. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. And I'll see you soon.
Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode:
Meditative Advent Readings: fulllifecc.com/advent-readings
Instagram: @kerrahfabacher
Website: www.kerrahfabacher.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Gratitude is the best, right? It fills us with all the good feelings and has great mental health benefits, but sometimes we can use it to avoid the hard things we feel, the suffering we may be walking through. And that can be very unhealthy. Listen in.
Resources and Links mentioned in this episode:
Liturgy of Thanksgiving at the Return of Joy, from Every Moment Holy, Volume 2
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
As wonderful as it is to be a part of the body of Christ, the church has not done something well. They often directly or indirectly tell people who are struggling with the tough emotions to stop feeling those things and especially stop expressing them. When angry, they're told to forgive. When afraid, they're told to trust God. The church hasn't done a great job of listening with grace and letting people experience the more difficult emotions and thoughts. And that's caused so much hurt to those who are suffering. So let's talk about it. Getting super honest with this one. Buckle up.
Resources and Links Mentioned in this Episode:
Collection of Advent Readings
All the things at www.kerrahfabacher.com
Follow along on Instagram
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Not me, silly. This is the podcast's 50th episode, woot woot! :) And I guess we aren't technically 50, more like, 1 1/2, but geez, it's hard to come up with catchy titles! :) Today, we celebrate 50 episodes in true Kerrah form: reflecting on what this podcast journey has taught me so far. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in Episode:
Share your favorite episode on social media this week for a chance to win a $25 gift card to Amazon! Tag me on Facebook at Kerrah E. Fabacher or on Instagram @kerrahfabacher.
Find all the things at www.kerrahfabacher.com
Transcript: www.kerrahfabacher.com/podcast
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Today's episode is more mediative and reflective. Instead of me trying to help you know what love is and how to do it best, I wanted you to hear from the One who is love. Listen in.
Resources and Links mentioned in this episode:
1 John 3:11-24; 4:7-21
www.kerrahfabacher.com
Instagram: @kerrahfabacher
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
As humans, we need touch. Maybe more than we know. And when we don't have a healthy amount of touch, we will struggle. A lot. So let's talk about touch deprivation and why we need it and how to get it when we may have a bad relationship with it due to past trauma, neglect, culture, or unhealthy relationships. Trigger warning: if you've experienced any past touch trauma. Listen in.
Resources and Links Mentioned in Episode:
Conversation with Mary B. Safrit on Touch Deprivation
Mary B.'s Instagram
The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk
For the Senses, a Blessing by John O Donahue found in To Bless the Space Between Us
Find me on Instagram
Hang out more on www.kerrahfabacher.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Though we must be wise with who is close up and personal in our lives and have some expectations of how our people will treat us, we need to remember that they can't love us well if they aren't well. We can't expect them to be super attentive to us and our needs if they are going through some hard stuff. Let's understand some possible signs that may show us they aren't doing well, and be willing to adjust our behaviors to show more grace to them in that season. Being more gracious and kind is never the wrong decision. Listen in.
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
- John 15:13
- 17: Adjust Your Expectations
- 10: Listen to Your Emotions
- 12: Be Slow to Speak
- 19: Listen
- 24: Practice Active Listening
- Give a small monthly donation to support the podcast
- Transcript for this episode
- Follow me on Instagram @kerrahfabacher
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Most of us aren't leaving enough margin in our lives for the life-giving things. Instead, our time is filled with life-draining things, and we can only go so long on E. This is an indicator of poor boundaries with our time. This episode is to help us develop a healthier rhythm of life that honors our time and allows more space for the things that fill us. Listen in for some practical exercises, questions, and statements to consider when creating a rhythm that allows for more whole living.
Resources and links from this episode:
Author of The Next Right Thing and host of The Next Right Thing Podcast: @emilypfreeman
Work with me in one-on-one coaching: www.kerrahfabacher.com/book-online
Come hang out with me on Instagram @kerrahfabacher
Transcript for this episode
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
In the age of social media and the cultural value of vulnerability and authenticity, people tend to struggle with discernment on how much is too much to share with someone else. On social media, we see this done a lot, but it's also hard in more interpersonal interactions. Let's talk about why oversharing isn't safe or wise and some things to consider before sharing to avoid being too extreme with your vulnerability. Listen in.
Resources and links mentioned in this episode:
Episode 6: Be the House with the Picket Fence
Episode 43: Safe People
www.kerrahfabacher.com/book-online
Follow along over on Instagram @kerrahfabacher
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Past hurt is so hard to forgive, and often we think forgiveness is forgetting. But what if it isn't? What if there is another way? This episode is for those who've struggled with forgiveness and the desire for revenge because they can't forget (nor should they). Listen now.
Links & Resources From This Episode:
- Forgiving What You Can't Forgetby Lysa Terkeurst
- John 31:34, ESV
- Colossians 3:12-13, ESV
- Find me on Instagram @kerrahfabacher
- For other resources and the transcript of this episode, go to www.kerrahfabacher.com
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
How do we know who is unsafe and who is safe? How can we even begin to define safety? What can it look like to love the unsafe people? Listen in.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
If we are honest with ourselves, we often feel we need recognition for who we are and what we've done. But it's not recognition we need. Because we already have it.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
When it feels like we've lost ourselves, the only way home, to knowing ourselves, is to know the One who made us. But how can we do that?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Vulnerability is necessary, but we need to understand there are risks that come with it. We need to be responsible with our vulnerability so we can experience the rewards of it.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
When we are more emotionally aware, we can be healthier as a whole, not to mention have better relationships. This episode teaches us how to be more emotionally aware.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
From author Leslie Vernick, these are the three things that all adult relationships should have. When they don't have these three essential ingredients, they aren't healthy. They are destructive.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
How can you tell if your friend is holding a grudge against you, and what do you do about it?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Boundaries aren't just about you. Having good boundaries means we respect others' boundaries, too.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Today, I want to hold space with you and for you to be still and lean into what is going on within you. Listen in.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Our stories are powerful and need to be told. Start with writing it with some of these prompts found in episode 34.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
For marrieds, singles, and those dating: some of the important things I've learned throughout ten years of marriage!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Doubt is real because pain is real. We struggle to believe God still loves us, is kind, is good. So what do we do with this doubt?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Because sometimes when we are brave enough to be vulnerable and honest, people won't always respond well. What should we do when they don't?
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
If we aren't well, we can't love others well. Here are five practical ways to take care of your heart.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Jesus had great boundaries. So we can stop thinking that it isn't loving to have them. Listen in to hear more about his boundaries.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
There are things that we should not take responsibility for, and there are things we should. So what are those things?
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We have learned what holds us back from having good community, so now how do we build it?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We need each other. What holds us back from engaging in Christian community? And what happens when we don't?
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
It's way too easy to believe we are wanted and loved only if we have a significant other.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Here are five simple practices to help you be an active listener!
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Listen in as my friend Jessica and I talk about:
- Why communication matters in relationships
- The cost of not communicating
- Communication pitfalls
- Healthier communication strategies
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We were made to love God, love others, and love ourselves. Without love, good relationships are impossible.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Fear is one of the biggest hindrances to deep interpersonal relationships. Let's flip the script and be the brave ones.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
When 2020 felt like the year of lost choices, let's begin this new year by taking those choices back as we set our intentions.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
My word for 2020, "listen" wrecked me in all the right ways. Take a "listen" to see how I learned to listen to others, the Spirit within me, my emotions, and my body this year.
Plus an announcement about the podcast at the end.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
This year has been hard enough. The last thing you need is unhealthy boundaries to send you over the edge. Let's talk about a simple way to set and keep them.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Because when we don't, we live in constant resentment and disappointment.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
To be (or feel) forgotten is one of the worst feelings of all. Imagine how God feels when we forget about Him, too.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We can become too self-indulgent with our self-care. We can also neglect ourselves in unhealthy ways. So how can we do this in a balanced way?
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Not all friendships are made to last a lifetime. Let's learn to say goodbye to those that have ended too soon, and let's learn how to end the ones that needed to end a long time ago.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We can't have whole relationships if we do not have a whole relationship with self, if we do not know that we are people of worth.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
I'm not saying to be silent. I'm saying let's be less reactive and more thoughtful with the words we use.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We feel unseen so much more than we would like to admit.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Because this is part of what it means to be aware. And there is no growth without awareness. And there is no healing, either.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We can't expect others to treat us in a way in which we aren't willing to treat them.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Because when you do, it changes everything.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Forgiving others is already hard, but forgiving ourselves? I think that is the hardest of all.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We could talk all day about setting boundaries, but this episode will hone in on how to do this with people outside the fence, people inside the fence, and people in the house. Listen in.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
If we struggle with vulnerability with others, we will also struggle with it with God. But his presence is safe. We can tell him how we feel.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
What does it look like to uproot the lies we believe about ourselves?
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
How do we know ourselves and show that self to the world?
Bonus: Apply this path to setting boundaries and communicating effectively in The Boundaries Bootcamp. Register before Saturday at midnight to reserve your spot! Find all the details here.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
God knows us perfectly, and He has made Himself known to us. Will we do this work, too? Will we be brave and allow ourselves to be known?
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
We can't be known when we are wearing masks, and we can't be known if we don't even fully know ourselves. Listen in.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support
Hear more about the heart behind the podcast and see that you are not alone in your relationship struggles. We are all in this together, friend.
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beknown/support