Husband Material: Recent Episodes
Drew Boa
So you want to outgrow porn. But how? How do you change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship? Welcome to Husband Material with Drew Boa, where we answer all these questions and more! Each episode will help you achieve lasting freedom from porn more quickly and permanently—without fighting an exhausting battle. Porn is a pacifier. This podcast will help you outgrow it and become a sexually healthy man of God.
Have you ever wondered what the Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) is actually saying? Drawing on insights from ancient Mesopotamian erotic poetry, Russell Zahniser breaks down the two models of male sexuality featured in the Song of Songs. Listen to discover how this mysterious book of the Bible speaks out against coercive, fast-paced sex, advocating instead for mutual consent and genuine bonding. You'll also hear Russell tell his personal story of sexual development, what he has learned about arousal, and why sex is so much more than intercourse.
Russell Zahniser is a writer and researcher who wanted to use the Song of Songs as a starting point to give to his sons a picture of healthy, mutual sexuality. What he found instead was a desperate plea to reimagine male sexuality and how we define sex itself. Learn more at russellzahniser.substack.com/p/made-for-connection
Subscribe to Russell Zahniser on Substack:
russellzahniser.substack.com/
Russell Zahniser is also a husband, father of three boys, and a member of Forest Hills Covenant Church in Boston, MA. He loves making things out of wood, reading, and taking his sons on daily "adventures" to explore nature.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- The Land of Wholeness, by Russell Zahniser (blog)
- Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski (book)
- Sheila Wray Gregoire (author and researcher)
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever been amazed by the power of music? In this episode, you'll learn five ways music can support you in overcoming sexual temptation—including one resource that turns anyone into a songwriter.
Songs mentioned on this episode:
- The Lord Will Fight For You - https://youtu.be/TE_OlAxU_uc?si=iaKCsPNe0m3g3q-o
- Confession of Sin (low-quality recording) - https://suno.com/s/EJ0hCbjWjLn0Zr9R
- Confession of Sin (SUNO version) - https://suno.com/s/shdp2PL5TNKoNBCi
- His Beloved Son - https://suno.com/s/hHAtdx9N961mvh9a
The Lord Will Fight For You Song Credits:
words and music by Drew Boa
produced and arranged by Steven Dougherty
mixing and mastering by Danny Stimac
Steven Dougherty - lead vocals, BGV’s, piano, synthesizer, & drum programming
Danny Stimac - electric guitar, additional percussion
Mike Shelton - bass guitar
Burton Gestner - acoustic guitar
Shawn Manley - lead vocals
T.J. Tolosa - lead vocals
Husband Material Men’s Chorus:
Drew Boa
Chris Furr
Mike Chapman
John Depew
Keith Martin
Jay Sevilla
James Kaiser
Patrick Allen
Arlen Wilcock
Steven Dougherty
Shawn Manley
T.J. Tolosa
Dustin Lang
Lyndon Dueck
Dan Carlson
Share the songs you love in the Husband Material Community!
husbandmaterial.com/community
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can we help teens start outgrowing porn and unwanted sexual behavior? Licensed counselor Blake Brinkman believes teens are NOT too young, too immature, or too unwilling to start healing. In this episode, you'll hear Blake's overview of the teen brain, why recovery must start "bottom-up" with safety rather than "top-down" with rules, how (not) to respond to teens struggling with porn, and why apologizing after mistakes creates deeper trust than attempting to parent perfectly.
Blake Brinkman is a mental health counselor, recovery coach, and co-host of the new podcast Start Younger: Outgrow Porn At Any Age.
Blake is the founder of Redefine Student Recovery, where he works with teens and families through one-on-one coaching, recovery groups, and parent guidance. He specializes in helping adolescents understand the emotional and relational roots of addictive behavior and develop healthier beliefs, relationships, and patterns for lasting change, integrating recovery principles, family systems insight, and faith-based care in a developmentally appropriate, shame-free way. Blake is also the author of Alliance Groups: Empowering Student Recovery. He lives in New York City and enjoys exploring the city and world with his wife, Katherine.
Listen to the Start Younger Podcast at startyoungerpodcast.com, co-hosted by Blake Brinkman, Drew Boa, and Dr. Doug Carpenter. New episodes come out on Thursdays every two weeks.
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What if couples devastated by sexual betrayal could heal together instead of separately? Clinton and Charity Muñoz expose a massive gap in traditional porn recovery's focus on sexual addiction for husbands and betrayal trauma for wives that leaves couples without guidance on how to actually restore their relationship in community.
In this episode, you'll hear:
- The power of hearing other spouses' stories
- Healthy boundaries to keep communication safe
- Why you need to turn on your brain's "relational circuits"
- What it looks like to process your pain with Jesus
- How post-traumatic growth is a picture of the gospel
Clinton and Charity Muñoz are the founders of Restored 2 More, a Christ-centered nonprofit ministry helping couples heal after betrayal, pornography/sexual addiction, and broken trust. After walking through their own story of betrayal, trauma, repentance, recovery, and restoration, they felt called to create a safe and hope-filled pathway for other couples who are longing for healing.
Through their podcast, courses, coaching, resources, and ambassador program, Clinton and Charity equip couples, churches, and leaders with practical tools to restore safety, rebuild trust, process pain with Jesus, and move toward deeper connection. Their heart is to see marriages not simply survive betrayal, but become restored to more. Learn more at restored2more.com
Take The Bridge Back To Us 8-Week Course here:
https://restored2more.thinkific.com/products/courses/thebridgebacktous
Find additional Restored 2 More resources here:
https://restored2more.com/resources/
Listen to the Restored 2 More podcast here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/restored-2-more/id1503954507
Connect with Restored 2 More on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/restored2more/
Friends, a marriage marked by betrayal doesn't have to settle for "not divorced." It can become something better than either spouse imagined!
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this vulnerable demo, Jordan Castille guides Jason Mellard in processing a sexual fantasy through inner child work. As Jason listens to his body, he travels back to a pivotal memory of being violated and rejected by his father. With Jordan’s help, Jason offers love to "Little Jason” and leads him from a place of powerlessness to a place of grace, space, and unconditional belonging with Jesus.
Trigger Warning The description of a sexual fantasy at the start of this episode may be triggering for some listeners. Even though no graphic details are shared, please use discernment. If you feel triggered, stop listening or skip to another section.
This episode is an example of Inner Child Thursday, one of the 12 weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA at joinHMA.com
Jordan Castille is the founder of Castille Coaching, where he helps men break free from pornography and live a life of purpose. He is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Clinical Sex Addiction Specialist, APSATS CPC Certified Partner Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Jordan leads a weekly HMA Coaching Call, Inner Child Thursday, on Thursday mornings.
Jason Mellard is the founder of Own Your Identity, where he empowers men experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction to live the life they truly desire. Jason is a Certified High Performance Coach and Certified Husband Material Coach. Jason leads a weekly HMA Coaching Call, Vision Sunday, on Sunday nights.
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
"Accountability" is one of the most controversial topics in porn recovery. Some men find it healing; some men find it harmful. What's the difference between healthy and unhealthy accountability?
Traditional accountability groups often get hijacked by fear, control, and shame—unintentionally incentivizing secrecy and acting like a prison rather than a path to freedom.
In this episode, Drew Boa argues that the secret to lasting transformation isn't a shift in theology or psychology, but a shift in posture. He introduces the concept of Attunement Groups—a curious, compassionate approach focused on meeting core attachment needs so you can truly outgrow porn.
Want to learn more about attunement?
Listen to this 30-minute deep dive episode: Attunement: The Key To Connection
Interested in being part of an attunement group?
Join a Husband Material Academy small group (triad) when you enroll at joinHMA.com.
Looking for a small group led by a professional coach?
Apply to join a private Husband Material group at husbandmaterial.com/group
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever felt like there is a war raging inside of you between conflicting feelings or desires? If so, this episode will empower you to lead your thoughts, emotions, and sexual attractions with compassion rather than condemnation through an exercise called "the table." You'll learn why the table—not just the cross—is the ultimate symbol of grace, belonging, and transformation. Grounded in both Christian theology and Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, this exercise shifts your internal posture from hostility to hospitality. It can be life-changing!
Keep in mind that most of this episode is a step-by-step guided audio meditation. So find a quiet, comfortable space to sit back, slow down, and welcome all parts of yourself into the healing presence of Jesus.
IFS Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Boundaries For Your Soul: How To Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts And Feelings Into Your Greatest Allies by Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller
- Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You by Jenna Riemersma
- Altogether You: Experiencing Personal and Spiritual Transformation with Internal Family Systems Therapy by Jenna Riemersma
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What does the Bible say about abuse? According to Dr. Steve Tracy, Scripture talks about abuse hundreds if not thousands of times. In this profound episode, you'll get a clear definition of abuse, how God responds to it, why all sin is not the same in its consequences, and how to guard against toxic misinterpretations of God's word.
Dr. Steve Tracy is the president and international director of Mending the Soul Ministries. Steve and his wife Celestia founded Mending the Soul in 2003 to create best practice Christian resources for understanding and responding to abuse. Steve earned his PhD in Biblical Studies from the University of Sheffield in England and taught theology and ethics at Phoenix Seminary for 30 years. Before coming on staff with MTS, Steve pastored for fifteen years in three different churches. Steve is the author of numerous books and journal articles on abuse, marriage, and healing.
Learn more at mendingthesoul.org
Buy Steve's books:
- To Heal Or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors
- Mending The Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse (with Celestia Tracy)
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is sexual attraction fluidity exploration in therapy (SAFE-T)? Licensed professional counselor Andrew Rodriguez shares the history behind the sexual orientation paradigm and offers a powerful message of hope for men seeking alignment between their attractions and their values. You'll learn how Reintegrative Therapy uses modern attachment theory and trauma reprocessing to create significant shifts in unwanted sexual feelings and behaviors. Andrew also opens up about his personal story of childhood loneliness, performance-based faith, and finding his true identity in Christ.
Andrew Rodriguez, LPC, has a passion for helping people discover and live out their true identities. He is the owner of Integrity Christian Counseling. He specializes in SAFE-T (sexual attraction fluidity exploration in therapy), working with individuals with unwanted same-sex attraction, sexual addiction, and fetishes. Andrew is certified in Reintegrative Therapy and serves as the Training Facilitator for the Reintegrative Therapy Association. He's also a board member of The Alliance for Therapeutic Choice & Scientific Integrity, a counselor affiliate with Restored Hope Network, and he's partnered with Desert Stream Ministries and ReStory Ministries. Andrew has been married to his wife, Jessica, since 2007, and they live in Pottstown, PA.
Check out Andrew's YouTube channel, PsychoBible, where he discusses psychology, theology, and sexuality through a Christian counseling lens at youtube.com/psychobible
Learn more about the 2026 Alliance For Therapeutic Choice & Scientific Integrity Online Training Conference here.
If you are a professional therapist, sign up for notifications about the next opportunity to be trained by Andrew in Reintegrative Therapy here.
Contact Andrew here.
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Many movies minimize, justify, or even celebrate sexual betrayal. In this episode, you’ll discover 5 popular films that communicate toxic messages about deception and infidelity.
Related episodes for further listening:
- How To Stop Hiding And Lying
- How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure
- When A Wife Discovers Her Husband’s Porn
- How Women Heal From Sexual Betrayal Trauma
- Healing For Sexually Betrayed Men
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Learn 8 differences between unhealthy attachment and healthy brotherhood:
- How it begins
- Core motivation
- Emotional tone
- Boundaries
- Identity and inner stability
- Sexual attraction dynamics
- Conflict and tension
- Growth trajectory
Longing for healthy brotherhood? Register for the next Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
"You are God's beloved son. In you He is well-pleased!" This is a powerful truth for outgrowing porn. But while that identity sounds beautiful, it often leaves us asking: What do I actually do with that? What does it look like to live like a beloved son in everyday life?
This episode breaks down 14 practical, redemptive ways to step out of a performance-driven "slave" mindset and into the freedom of true sonship. If you're ready to heal the boy to free the man, this episode is your roadmap:
- PLAY
- REST
- RISK
- ASK
- SHARE
- FEEL
- LOVE
- HUG
- GIVE
- RECEIVE
- PRAY
- TRUST
- WAIT
- BE
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them
- Appropriate Touch Between Men
- The Image Of God In You
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is your heart hungry for? How can you satisfy that hunger in a healthy way? Shawn Bonneteau unpacks how our thoughts and actions flow from the heart, a 5-second tool that can interrupt unwanted behavior, and how Christ transforms us without shame.
Shawn Bonneteau is a Christian sexual recovery coach who has spent 14 years inside addiction and 8 years guiding men out of it for a total of over 3,000 sessions. Shawn is the founder of Secret Habit, where he guides Christian men to break free from pornography and destructive sexual habits so they can live with integrity, confidence and real freedom. Learn more at secrethabit.ca
Start your clarity quiz:
secrethabit.com/quiz
Book a call with Shawn:
secrethabit.com/call
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Instead of trying harder, what would it look like to try softer? Author and counselor Aundi Kolber guides us into compassionate attention so that we can reconnect with our bodies, heal from trauma, and outgrow porn. You'll also hear how God relates to us in the middle of our mess with in-process miracles along the way.
Aundi Kolber is a licensed professional counselor (MA, LPC) and bestselling author of the critically acclaimed "Try Softer" as well as "Strong like Water." She has received additional training in her specialization of trauma-and body-centered therapies and is passionate about the integration of faith and psychology. As a survivor of trauma, Aundi brings hard-won knowledge about the work of change, the power of redemption, and the beauty of experiencing God with us in our pain. Learn more at aundikolber.com
Buy Aundi's books:
- Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode—and into a Life of Connection and Joy
- Strong like Water: Finding the Freedom, Safety, and Compassion to Move through Hard Things—and Experience True Flourishing
- Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Hear a vulnerable, powerful breakup letter written to pornography.
If this resonates with you, write your own “dear porn” breakup letter and share it in the Husband Material Community, which you can join at husbandmaterial.com
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Discover the differences between "Egypt Sexuality" and "Promised Land Sexuality" based on insights from Deuteronomy 11:10-12. You'll be challenged to trust God with your life instead of trying to control your life.
This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, April 26, 2026 at the Husband Material Spring Retreat in Georgia. See upcoming retreats at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Previous sermons from HM Retreats:
- You Are Not Too Much (Mark 6:30-56)
- Excluded & Emasculated (Acts 8:26-40)
- David's Sexual Story (2 Samuel 11-12)
- The Beauty Of Brotherhood (Psalm 133)
- How Jesus Reverses The Curse (John 21)
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever felt curious or confused about IFS (Internal Family Systems) and how it can help you outgrow porn? Patrick Cagle offers the perfect introduction: the 3 types of parts within you, the 9 Cs of your authentic self, and the highly practical 6 Fs to connect with a part of you that feels activated, triggered, or sexually tempted.
Patrick Cagle is an IFS Level 2–trained therapist, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) candidate, and a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). Based in Alabama, he serves as an associate-level counselor devoted to helping individuals find freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors and supporting partners healing from betrayal trauma.
With compassion, clarity, and a deep respect for each client’s inner world, Patrick integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS) to uncover and heal the underlying wounds that drive addiction. His approach helps clients move beyond shame, restore connection with their authentic self, and experience lasting recovery and transformation.
Connect with Patrick at (334) 602-4112.
Check out Patrick's Psychology Today Profile here.
Join Patrick's drop-in discussion group: "Men's Internal Family Systems & Sexual Integrity" on Tuesdays at 10:00 AM Pacific Time here.
Mentioned in this episode:
- The 9 C's of IFS (credit to Cece Sykes)
- The 6 F's of IFS by Dr. Richard Schwartz
- The SIBAM Model by Dr. Peter Levine
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Are you tired of fighting a battle against yourself? Jenna Riemersma offers a remarkably powerful path to healing through the "Move Toward" approach, her simplified version of IFS (Internal Family Systems). You'll learn a practical three-step tool to transform unwanted behavior and outgrow porn through curiosity and compassion.
Jenna Riemersma, LPC, is a leading authority in integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy with Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) and betrayal trauma treatment. As a Certified IFS Therapist, IFS Clinical Consultant, IITAP teaching faculty, and CSAT Supervisor, she brings over a decade of specialized expertise to this critical therapeutic intersection. Jenna is also the developer of the innovative "Move Toward" IFS shorthand tool—a practical resource that helps therapists and clients efficiently access IFS parts work. Learn more at movetoward.com
Buy Jenna's new book:
- Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You
Jenna is also the author of:
- Altogether You: Experiencing Personal and Spiritual Transformation with Internal Family Systems Therapy
- IFS Integration: A Comprehensive Guide to Applying Internal Family Systems Across Modalities, Populations, and Clinical Presentations
More resources by Jenna:
- Free Guided Meditations
- Free Guided Videos
- Free PDF Worksheets
- Online Video Curriculum
Connect with Jenna at jennariemersma.com
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Learn the real reason why freedom from porn feels impossible with insights from one of my favorite movies, The Shawshank Redemption.
“Your brain doesn’t want new things. It wants old things that it already knows how to survive.” —Chase Hughes
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can I revive the soul of my family? Whether you're a father, a husband, or a man preparing for those roles, listen to this. Dr. Joshua Straub presents a powerful picture of what it looks like to become emotionally safe, build intimacy with your spouse, enter your child's world, and protect your family in the spiritual realm.
Joshua Straub is most renowned for his role as a husband and dad. A recovering human, he’s passionate about the ongoing journey of growth through coaching, community, and fitness. Alongside his wife, Christi, he leads Famous at Home, equipping leaders and organizations in emotional intelligence and healthy family systems. Josh is a speaker, author of seven books, marriage and relational intelligence coach, and podcast cohost. He’s had the privilege of coaching executives, entrepreneurs, entertainers, professional athletes, and nonprofit leaders, as well as serving military families across the country. At home, Josh and Christi are raising their three kids on a small homestead outside Nashville, TN, where life is full of family, faith, and a lot of fun.
Learn more at joshuastraub.com
Buy Joshua's book:
Famous at Home: 7 Decisions to Put Your Family Center Stage in a World Competing for Your Time, Attention, and Identity
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How does being sexually betrayed affect men? Adam Nisenson explains the phenomenon of masculine betrayal trauma and what healing looks like.
Adam Nisenson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT). He is known as The Betrayal Shrink, a pioneering voice in men’s mental health, and the first professional to define and name the phenomenon of Masculine Betrayal Trauma.
Drawing from his own lived experience after his former spouse’s affair with her business partner over 12 years ago, Adam brings both personal understanding and clinical depth to every session, every book, and every word he shares.
Resources by Adam Nisenson:
- A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal (book)
- A Man’s Guide to Trust After Partner Betrayal (clinical workbook)
- No Man’s Land (guided journal)
Listen to Adam's podcast,Men Get Cheated On Too! where he breaks the silence around male betrayal trauma and gives men a voice, language, and a path forward in a society that too often leaves them behind. His work blends depth psychology, trauma-informed care, emotional accountability, and masculine healing frameworks to help men confront betrayal without shame and emerge stronger than they were before.
Learn more about masculine betrayal trauma and connect with Adam at betrayalshrink.com
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What if the very traits that got you hooked on porn—curiosity, childlike wonder, and awe—are actually keys to your freedom? As Jason Mellard explains, these qualities aren't bad; they are simply waiting to be reclaimed and redeemed. You'll learn about observation vs. obsession, building with vision vs. escaping into fantasy, and appreciating beauty vs. idolizing it...
Bonus: Stay tuned for a spontaneous musical moment where Jason inspires Drew to burst into song—belting out lyrics from The Greatest Showman and sharing how it shaped his imagination for Husband Material.
Jason Mellard is the founder of Own Your Identity, where he empowers men experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction to live the life they truly desire. Jason is a Certified High Performance Coach and Certified Husband Material Coach. He has experienced sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, and freedom from porn. Jason is committed to helping men live beyond their unwanted attractions and negative habits into a life of purpose and possibility through the power of Christ and for the glory of God.
Listen to Jason's podcast, Own Your Identity, where he provides practical tools to bring clarity and hope to men navigating unwanted same-sex attraction.
Jason is also the creator of SSAquiz.com. Take the quiz to discover how much same-sex attraction is impacting your life.
Learn more about Jason at ownyouridentitynow.com.
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What exactly is a glimmer? Why do glimmers matter for outgrowing porn? Learn 3 ways to get the most out of your glimmers—maximizing moments of joy, peace, and connection.
Related episodes:
- Porn and Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer)
- Play, Awe, & Porn Addiction: A Polyvagal Perspective
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Where is God when we suffer? How does grief intensify sexual temptation? Why do we need to "run toward the roar" of triggers and traumas instead of avoiding them?
Hear Davey Blackburn tell the heartbreaking story of how his wife of 7 years was murdered in their home during a break-in, leaving him as a single father to their 15-month-old son. Davey also describes how God has begun to write a beautiful redemption story of healing, forgiveness, and purpose where "nothing is wasted."
Davey Blackburn (and his wife Kristi) founded Nothing is Wasted Ministries to help people partner with God to take back their story. Learn more at nothingiswasted.com
Start here: nothingiswasted.com/starthere
Buy Davey's book:
Nothing Is Wasted: A True Story of Hope, Forgiveness, and Finding Purpose in Pain.
Listen to Davey's podcast: nothingiswasted.com/podcast
Are you a widower? Check out refugewidowers.com
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What if the desires you've been suppressing are not bad, but simply underdeveloped? In this episode, Jay Stringer explores five core longings that drive us—and why we need to welcome them rather than try to conquer them or shut them down. You'll hear how desire is shaped by childhood experiences, pornography, and other forces—as well as how desire can be reshaped and resurrected.
Jay Stringer is a licensed mental health counselor, researcher, and speaker who helps people uncover the unexpected meaning hidden in life’s hardest challenges. He is the award-winning author of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing and lives in New York City with his wife, Heather, and their two children. Learn more at jay-stringer.com
Buy Jay's new book:
Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow
Guest interviews do not constitute an endorsement. We encourage discernment—grab what's good, drop the rest.
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- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is redemptive risk? Why is it essential for healing and outgrowing porn? In this episode, you'll learn why and how to embrace redemptive risk, the difference between dirty pain and clean pain, and three steps to consider as you discern your next redemptive risk:
- Start with "why"
- Count the cost
- Own your strength
What redemptive risk(s) are you currently taking? Let us know in the Husband Material Community!
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Men need men. In this episode, Tom Zuniga champions the value of brotherhood and "chosen family"—especially in a culture where romantic marriage seems like the only place where intimacy is possible. Tom shares his story of growing up feeling lonely and different, experiencing same-sex attraction, and discovering the beauty of following Jesus in community with other men.
Tom Zuniga is the Director of Your Other Brothers, a community where Christian men are navigating matters of faith, sexuality, and masculinity. Together. Check out their blogs and podcasts, or explore their retreats and other community offerings at yourotherbrothers.org
Learn more about the overarching nonprofit ministry of Your Other Family at yourotherfamily.org, as well as their new women’s community of Your Other Sisters at yourothersisters.org
Hear Tom Zuniga interview Drew Boa at https://yourotherbrothers.org/convocast/yob-convocast-104-tom-amp-drew-boa-outgrow-porn-examine-fetishes-and-do-inner-child-work
Connect with Tom at thomasmarkz.com
Disclaimer: Tom and Your Other Family offer valuable perspectives and wonderful resources, and we're honored to introduce them to you. As with any content, we encourage you to take what helps you grow and leave the rest behind.
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, longtime friend of the podcast and author Sathiya Sam shares why porn recovery can literally save lives, what true freedom looks like (eternal, internal, and external) and practical advice on how to find purpose beyond porn.
Sathiya Sam, founder of Deep Clean Coaching, helps men overcome pornography addiction, inspired by his own 15-year journey. Author of The Last Relapseand host of The Man Within, he has guided thousands of men to freedom. Learn more at sathiyasam.com
To celebrate 10 years of freedom from porn and 1 million podcast downloads, Sathiya is hosting a giveaway. Enter here: deepcleancoaching.com/giveaway
"You don't set people free just so they can say they're free; you set people free so they can fly." —Sathiya Sam
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Do you know what it's like to feel numb, drained, and disconnected? This is the most common precursor to watching porn: the "flop" reaction. In this episode, you'll learn what the flop reaction is, why it's not necessarily bad, and three ways to navigate low-energy moments without crashing into a relapse.
Strategy #1: Flop with a purpose
Strategy #2: Flop with a friend
Strategy #3: Flop with your body
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How does physical fitness support sexual and spiritual health? In this episode, Alex VanHouten describes what it looks like to faithfully care for your body. You'll learn about the twin pitfalls of pride/envy and gluttony/sloth, how working out can help you process emotions and sexual urges, and what fitness is ultimately about: reclaiming the territory of your body for the kingdom of God.
Alex VanHouten is an exercise scientist, health coach, and the founder of Faithful Fitness. With over 20 years of experience in fitness coaching, he has empowered individuals to transform their health through intelligent, science-based training, all while grounding his approach in the hope of the gospel. As the host of the Faithful Fitness Podcast and leader of the Faithful Fitness community, Coach Alex provides valuable tools to help people steward their bodies well for God’s glory. Learn more at faithfulfitness.co
Buy Alex's new book:
Faithful Fitness: A 40-Day Devotional for Christian Health and Stewardship
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
If you're in a season of depression, darkness, or difficulty, please listen to this episode. Justin McRoberts and Scott Erickson offer deep wisdom on how to welcome all that is within you (yes, even that). This interview is punctuated by powerful poems and prayers for whatever "low" you might be going through.
Justin McRoberts is the author of 8 books, including In The Low: Honest Prayers For Dark Seasons. He lives in Martinez, CA and talks with his mom every day. Connect with Justin at justinmcroberts.com or on Instagram @justinmcroberts.
Scott Erickson is an artist, author, and performance speaker creating a visual vocabulary for the spiritual journey. Connect with Scott at scottericksonart.com or on Instagram @scottthepainter.
Buy Justin and Scott's new book:
In The Low: Honest Prayers For Dark Seasons
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What are HMA Triads? What makes them different from accountability groups? Why is joining a small group essential for outgrowing porn? Rich Savoy explains everything you need to know about HMA Triads, what makes them different than porn accountability groups, and why you should consider joining one. Join HMA by January 18, 2026 at joinHMA.com.
Rich Savoy is HMA's Director Of Small Groups. He is also a board member of Husband Material Ministries and an international speaker on emotional intelligence with Global Leadership Partners. Contact Rich inside the Husband Material Community.
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
God designed your brain to heal itself under the right conditions. How can we understand self-healing from a Christian perspective? What are the optimal conditions for self-healing? How can self-healing accelerate the process of outgrowing porn? In this episode, you'll not only get answers to these questions—you'll witness a powerful demonstration of Brainspotting with Drew Boa and Mike Chapman.
This episode was recorded at the 2026 Porn Free Man Conference sponsored by Husband Material Academy (HMA). Join HMA now at joinHMA.com
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is Brainspotting? How can it help men heal and outgrow porn? Find out from Dr. David Grand himself! In this episode, you'll learn how Brainspotting works, why it's unique, and how it accelerates recovery from porn/sex addiction.
David Grand, PhD is the developer of Brainspotting, the groundbreaking relational brain-body, mindfulness-based method. He is the author of Brainspotting: The Revolutionary New Therapy for Rapid and Effective Change and the co-author of This is Your Brain on Sports. Dr. Grand has been widely featured in the media, including The New York Times, NBC National News, The Discovery Channel, CNN, MSNBC, Sports Illustrated, and Sirius Radio.
Curious about Brainspotting?
- Read the book by David Grand
- Find a Brainspotter near you on the international directory
- Work with Mike Chapman, Dr. Doug Carpenter, or Drew Boa (who are all Brainspotting Practitioners and Certified Husband Material Coaches).
- Join HMA to witness the power of Brainspotting (and maybe even try it out yourself) at Fantasy Fridays.
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What can the movie "K-Pop Demon Hunters" teach us about shame, hiding, and healing through vulnerability and connection? In this extended episode, Drew and his friend Andy offer an in-depth analysis of the film—addressing theological concerns, highlighting takeaways for sexual recovery, and tracing each character's redemptive journey. Enjoy!
Drew and Andy became friends at Wheaton College, serving together in college, church, and summer camp ministries. Andy has degrees in Christian theology and adventure-based experiential learning, and has been a participant and collaborator with Husband Material since 2023.
K-Pop Demon Hunters is available on Netflix. We recommend watching the "Sing-along" version.
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this incredibly vulnerable episode, Nate Larkin tells the story of how he returned to lying, hiding, binge drinking, and destructive sexual behavior while leading a sexual recovery organization. You'll also hear Nate's wisdom on how to be vulnerable as a leader and the importance of telling the truth.
Nate Larkin is the founder of the Samson Society, a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility, and recovery. Learn more at samsonsociety.com
Buy Nate's book: Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men To Authentic Brotherhood
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What’s next for Husband Material? In this episode, you’ll hear the exciting new vision for how we want to help the next generation of young men and couples change their brains, heal their hearts, and save their relationships.
Here’s how you can be part of it:
- Pray: husbandmaterial.com/pray
- Give: husbandmaterial.com/give
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can technology help you connect, heal, and outgrow porn? In this episode, Chandler Rogers tells his story of finding freedom through connection with others (even online) and shares what he has learned from overseeing hundreds of online groups. You'll find out what you're missing out on if you track your sobriety without tracking your recovery—and what healthy, shame-free accountability looks like.
Chandler Rogers is the CEO and co-founder of Relay, a group-based program to break free from the unhealthy system of addiction and find lasting freedom.
- Join Relay at joinrelay.app (App)
- Listen to Beyond Sexual Brokenness (Podcast)
- Download The Official Guide To Overcoming Pornography (PDF)
Send us a voicemail
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What exactly is arousal? Is it more than just sexual? In this episode, you'll learn the four types of arousal (uppers, downers, all-arounders, and deprivation) and how we use addiction to avoid intimacy ("into messy"). Along the way, you'll also find out why recovery is not a "don't touch your penis" program and how the skill of "tension holding" can transform your relationships. Great conversation!
Chris Chandler (LMHC, LPCC, EMDR, CSAT-S) is a licensed therapist, coach, and Clinical Advisor at Relay Health. He is also the founder of Christian Recovery Groups LLC, a national program helping men and women heal from compulsive and addictive behaviors through faith, community, and neuroscience-informed recovery practices. Over the past 20 years, Chris has led thousands through individual and group recovery experiences. His mission is simple: to restore people to wholeness by integrating clinical insight with authentic, Spirit-filled community because true recovery happens in relationship.
Schedule a 30-minute consultation with Chris here.
Andrew Engstrom is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with Seattle Christian Counseling, where he helps individuals and couples heal by understanding themselves better first. Andrew is certified in MDFT (a holistic approach to counseling treatment) and uses PREPARE/ENRICH in pre-marital and marital counseling. He offers support and insight for overcoming obstacles that stand in the way of forming lasting, fulfilling relationships with others and God.
Learn more and connect with Andrew here.
See a preview of Chris and Andrew's intensives here.
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do you see yourself? Do you ever feel like a villain, like everything is your fault? Do you ever feel like a victim, overwhelmed and powerless to change your life? Do you ever feel like a hero, as if you have to succeed because the whole world is depending on you? Today, we’re talking about how to see yourself accurately and understand yourself better through three lenses: your villain story, your victim story, and your hero story. These categories are inspired by “The Karpman Drama Triangle” by Dr. Stephen B. Karpman. The original drama triangle describes common patterns in dysfunctional relationships. I’ve adapted it for the context of story work for men outgrowing porn.
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, Doug and Drew explain their powerful, unique approach to psychodrama: DIRECT. You'll learn how this powerful modality can help you experience deeper healing and freedom from porn.
D.I.R.E.C.T. = Dynamic, Intuitive, Redemptive, Embodied, Communal Transformation.
Come experience D.I.R.E.C.T. at a Husband Material Healing Weekend! See all upcoming healing weekends and retreats at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
January Healing Weekend in Florida: 4 spots left. Apply here.
March Healing Weekend in Utah : FULL.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Why do adult men need sex education? What sexual changes do men's bodies go through as we get older? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains what men need to know about low testosterone, urinary flow, sperm production, and more. You'll learn about the importance of prostate exams, the truth about penis size, the difference between sex in porn vs. sex in marriage, and other common misconceptions men have about sex.
Join us for sex education in person at the next Husband Material Retreat! husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author, and founding board member of Husband Material Ministries. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com
Buy Doug's books:
- Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development
- Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male: Gender Role Conflict, Toxic Shame, and Complex Trauma: Finding Hope, Clarity, Healing, and Change
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
When you're triggered or tempted to watch porn, you cannot not regulate. What you can do is choose how you will regulate. In this episode, you'll learn ten powerful grounding techniques to regulate your brain and body without porn:
- Deep Breathing: Diaphragmatic (image)
- Power Breathing: Wim Hof Method (video)
- External Observation: 5-4-3-2-1 (image)
- Internal Observation: How We Feel (app)
- Ten Befriending Questions (PDF)
- Imagination: Visualize your inner world
- Creativity: Be a creator, not a consumer
- Movement: Be proactive, not passive
- Identity: Remember who you are (PDF)
- Co-regulation: Do any of these with a friend!
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How does sex trafficking affect boys and men (not just girls and women) and what does healing look like? Hear Mike Chapman's incredible story. This episode is a taken from Mike's recent presentation, "Family-Controlled Sex Trafficking of Young Boys: One Survivor's Healing Journey" at the International Human Trafficking & Social Justice Conference.
Mike Chapman is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and family-controlled sex trafficking, and a survivor of sexual assault by clergy as a young adult. In his spiritual journey to recovery, Mike has had to battle anger, PTSD, anxiety, codependency, and addictive behaviors, including porn addiction. Mike is also a Full-Time Sign Language Interpreter and a Part-Time Santa Claus Portrayal Artist. He’s been happily married to his wife Beth for over 35 years, and they have 2 adult children – Lizzy and Mac. He and Beth live in Hubert, NC. Mike is currently a part-time Recovery Life Coach for both Polar Life Consulting and Husband Material. To find out more or to contact Mike, email him at PolarLifeConsulting@gmail.com
Check out Mike's own podcast:
Healing for Male Survivors with Mike Chapman
Join Mike and Drew at the next Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How does living in a drugified world affect our brains, and what can we about it? Renowned psychiatrist Anna Lembke vulnerably shares her own story of addiction to romance novels and erotica, how digital media hijacks our brains, and what freedom practically looks like. Along the way, you'll learn the meaning of dopamine fasting, self-binding strategies, and prosocial shame. Take notes!
Dr. Anna Lembke is professor of psychiatry at Stanford University School of Medicine and chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic. A clinician scholar, she has published more than a hundred peer-reviewed papers, book chapters, and commentaries. She sits on the board of several state and national addiction-focused organizations, has testified before various committees in the United States House of Representatives and Senate, keeps an active speaking calendar, and maintains a thriving clinical practice.
Buy Anna's books:
- Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence
- The Official Dopamine Nation Workbook: A Practical Guide to Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence
- Drug Dealer, MD: How Doctors Were Duped, Patients Got Hooked, and Why It’s So Hard to Stop
Learn more about Anna at annalembke.com
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever wondered if certain sexual behaviors are okay? How do you decide what to believe and how to behave? In this episode, you'll learn 3 foundational principles of sexual ethics: integrity, intimacy, and impact.
Looking for a safe place to talk about sensitive topics?
Ask your questions in the Husband Material Community!
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Why do we sexualize our emotions, and how can we process our emotions without sexualizing them? In this episode, Jonathan Hernandez answers these questions in English. Check out the Spanish version of this episode here.
Jonathan Hernandez is a newly Certified Husband Material Coach with over a year of experience as a Certified Connection Codes Coach. He completed three years at Bethel’s School of Supernatural Ministry and is passionate about helping couples build deeper connection and guiding men into healthy and fulfilling sexuality.
Connect with Jonathan here:
rueda.jonnythecoach.com/english
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
¿Por qué sexualizamos nuestras emociones y cómo podemos procesarlas sin sexualizarlas? Jonathan Hernández responde a estas preguntas en el primer episodio de Husband Material en Español. Aquí tienes la versión en inglés: https://podcast.husbandmaterial.com/713910/episodes/17963054-how-to-process-sexualized-emotions-with-jonathan-hernandez
Jonathan Hernández es nuevo coach de Husband Material. Cuenta con más de un año de experiencia como coach certificado de Connection Codes. Estudió tres años en la Escuela de Ministerio Sobrenatural de Bethel y tiene una gran pasión por ayudar a las parejas a vivir más conectadas y a los hombres a experimentar una sexualidad sana y plena.
Guía gratuita de la Rueda de emociones:
rueda.jonnythecoach.com/rueda-794076
Guía de las emociones/template diario:
rueda.jonnythecoach.com/guia-103093
Curso de los fundamentos:
rueda.jonnythecoach.com/curso
Aplicación para Sesión de Claridad:
rueda.jonnythecoach.com/formulario_sesion_claridad
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is connection? What causes disconnection? How can we reconnect? Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill explain the core components of relational connection—especially for couples.
Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill are the founders of Connection Codes, a life-changing framework that has helped thousands of couples and families around the world experience deeper intimacy, safety, and joy. Married for over four decades, Glenn and Phyllis know firsthand what it’s like to feel disconnected and stuck in painful cycles. Their own struggles led Glenn to return to school, earning a doctorate in Clinical Sexology and a master’s in Marriage & Family Therapy. Together, they discovered simple, powerful tools that restored their marriage and now equip others to thrive. Today, they travel globally, teaching couples, churches, and leaders how to process emotions, resolve conflict, and build relationships that reflect the love of Christ. Glenn and Phyllis are passionate about helping people discover that emotions aren’t a problem to fix, but a God-given tool to master—so that homes can be healed, marriages strengthened, and communities transformed.
Get the Core Emotion Wheel and learn to regulate your emotions at connectioncodes.co/drew-boa
Buy the book: The Connection Codes: The Blueprint & Tools for Creating the Relationships You Crave, by Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever felt like you're too much? In Mark 6:30-56, we see that nothing and no one is too much for Jesus. This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, September 7, 2025 at the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado.
Learn more about our 2026 retreats here.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can physical fitness help you find lasting freedom from porn? Frank Rich explains how rebuilding your body accelerates recovery—especially rebuilding your beliefs about yourself. Along the way, you'll learn the importance of gut health and a simple plan you can use to start training today.
Frank Rich is a renowned bodybuilder, entrepreneur, men’s health coach, and host of The Super Human Life Podcast. After struggling for years with addiction, depression, and anxiety, Frank rebuilt his life through faith and fitness. Now, he’s helping other men do the same. Learn more at rebuiltrecovery.com
Join the 7-Day Porn Reset at therebuiltman.com/7dayreset
Connect with Frank:
Podcast: thesuperhumanlifepodcast.com
Instagram: @thesuperhumanlifepodcast
Youtube: @thesuperhumanlifepodcast
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Male sexually betrayed partners are often unseen, overlooked, and underresourced. Hear Ben Wilson's story of being the betrayed and the betrayer in his marriage.
Ben is a Licensed Professional Counselor with 25+ years of experience. He is trained in EMDR for trauma and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couple’s counseling. Ben co-authored Betrayed and Betrayer: Rescuing Your Marriage After The Affair out of his own broken and restored marriage. Learn more about intensive counseling with Ben at restoringthesoul.com.
Read Ben's free blog with 444 posts on healing infidelity here.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
If you want lasting freedom from porn, consider reading one of these 10 books:
- Altogether You: Experiencing Personal and Spiritual Transformation with Internal Family Systems Therapy, by Jenna Riemersma
- Going Deeper: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction, by Eddie Capparucci
- Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, by Sheri Keffer
- No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction, by Marnie Ferree
- Outgrow Porn: Find Lasting Freedom Without Fighting an Exhausting Battle—A Man's Guide to Healing, by Drew Boa
- Setting Us Free: An Unexpected Journey of Grace, by Nick Stumbo
- The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality, by Sam Jolman
- Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle, by Michael John Cusick
- Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer
- Wired For Intimacy: How Porn Hijacks the Male Brain, by William Struthers
Also mentioned in this episode:
- Boundaries For Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies, by Alison Cook and Kim Miller
- Redeemed Sexuality: 12 Sessions for Healing and Transformation in Community, by Andrew A. Boa (Drew)
Buy the Outgrow Porn bundle (paperback, ebook, workbook, and free online companion course) here.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Dr. Eddie Capparucci interviews Drew Boa about his new book, Outgrow Porn: Find Lasting Freedom Without Fighting an Exhausting Battle—A Man's Guide to Healing. You'll learn the importance of understanding sexual fantasies, processing emotions, "surfing" sexual urges, and healing the inner child.
Outgrow Porn is available now!
- Buy the bookdirectly from Drew at outgrowporn.com
- Buy the book on Amazon with Drew's affiliate link at amzn.to/4lPkpEV
- Buy the Outgrow Porn Workbook at outgrowpornworkbook.com
Free resources for you:
- Download the first chapter PDF at drewboa.com/outgrow-porn-chapter-1
- Get the online companion course at drewboa.com/outgrowporn
- Download and share Outgrow Porn social media images here.
Let's celebrate and spread the word!
Drew Boa is the founder and CEO of Husband Material Ministries, where he helps men outgrow porn. He is the author of Outgrow Porn and Redeemed Sexuality—and the host of the Husband Material podcast and YouTube channel. Drew is passionate about changing brains, healing hearts, and saving relationships affected by porn. In 2015, Drew received his MA in Christian Formation & Ministry from Wheaton College Graduate School. Since then, he has completed training as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP), Certified Brainspotting Practitioner (BSP), Unwanted Guide, and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew offers support and guidance to outgrow porn through coaching, leading groups, hosting retreats, and speaking. Drew enjoys living in Colorado and going on adventures with his wife and kids. Connect with Drew at drewboa.com
Dr. Eddie Capparucci is a licensed professional counselor certified in treating Problematic Sexual Behaviors. He is the creator of the Inner Child Model™ for treating Addictive Behaviors, a unique approach that focuses on identifying unresolved childhood pain points and teaching individuals how to process emotional distress in healthy ways. He is the author of six books, including Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction and Why Men Struggle to Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots. His latest book is Going Deeper for Betrayed Partners: Discovering Healing Through Your Inner Child.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How did Marco Casanova go from addiction to gay porn while studying to be a Catholic priest to a life of chastity, healing, marriage, and fatherhood? This is a great story. Along the way, you'll get a beautiful introduction to Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body—particularly what Marco has learned about the dignity of women and what it means to be a man.
Marco Casanova, M.Div., serves as Associate Director of Desert Stream Ministries. His journey with the Living Waters program began during his seminary years, when he sought healing from his own experience of sexual brokenness. After eight years in priestly formation, Marco discerned a new call to join the Desert Stream team. Today, he oversees Living Waters USA, equipping lay leaders to establish and lead effective healing groups within their church communities. Marco lives in Kansas City, MO, with his wife, Ania, and their daughter, Marianna.
More from Desert Stream Ministries:
- Website: desertstream.org
- YouTube: youtube.com/@DesertStreamMinistries
More on Theology of the Body:
- theologyofthebody.net
- tobinstitute.org
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is sex tech? How is artificial intelligence (AI) changing the way people experience porn? Dr. Marianne Brandon explains how emerging technology is rapidly rewriting the script of how humans approach sex and relationships. You'll hear all about the dangers and opportunities (mostly dangers) of these trends and why imperfect human intimacy still irreplaceable. Everyone should hear this episode!
Dr. Marianne Brandon is a clinical psychologist, diplomat in sex therapy, author, and lecturer. She writes a popular Psychology Today blog, The Future of Intimacy, and co-hosts a podcast with her urologist husband, The Sex Doctors. Dr. Brandon is the author of Monogamy: The Untold Story; and Unlocking the Sexy in Surrender: Using the Neuroscience of Power to Recharge Your Sex Life. She co-authored Reclaiming Desire: 4 Keys to Finding Your Lost Libido. You can learn more about her work at www.drbrandon.net
Article mentioned in the episode:
Why Men May Gravitate To Sex Tech
More resources from Dr. Marianne Brandon:
- Blog - psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-future-intimacy
- Podcast - thesexdoctorspodcast.com
- Books - drbrandon.net/books/
- Website - drbrandon.net
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How does your story shape your sexual arousal template? Therapist Rick Manabat shares eye-opening examples of how specific sexual fantasies and porn preferences are subconsciously shaped by our stories. This is truly mind-blowing!
Rick Manabat is the owner and founder of Pneuma Therapeutic Services, with locations in Chicago and Colorado Springs. He has a Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Trinity International University. Rick is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) who is also trained in EMDR. He has been married to his best friend for almost 13 years, and they have three children.
Learn more and connect with Rick at pneumachicago.com/rick-manabat
- Pneuma Counseling - Chicago
- Pneuma Counseling - Colorado Springs
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What parts of yourself do you hide, repress, or deny? Whatever is in your "shadow" can subconsciously drive everything you do. Roy Wooten unpacks the concept of the shadow, how it works, and what his healing journey has looked like—from not feeling lovable as a boy, to surviving sexual abuse, to breaking free through embodied healing experiences at The Crucible Project.
Roy Wooten serves as the Executive Director of The Crucible Project. With decades of experience as a counselor and ministry leader, Roy is deeply committed to personal transformation, relational health, and spiritual growth. He is best known for helping thousands of people improve their relationships through retreats, seminars, and coaching sessions. Learn more at thecrucibleproject.org/roywooten
More resources from Roy Wooten and The Crucible Project:
- Unstuck: 7 Steps to Break Free and Live Courageously (free eBook)
- Sign up for a Christian Men's Retreat (initial weekend)
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this powerful live demo, John Kilmer guides Drew Boa in parts work focused on Drew's addiction to screens. This episode is an example of Manly Monday, one of the weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA this week only at joinHMA.com.
John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He's a grateful follower of Jesus who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is shame? How does evil use shame against us, and what does healing look like? Dr. Curt Thompson explores shame through the lens of Scripture, neuroscience, and spiritual formation in community. Stay until the end to hear how Jesus meets us in our shame. What a beautiful conversation!
Dr. Curt Thompson is a compassionate psychiatrist who weaves together an understanding of interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and a Christian view of what it means to be human. Through Curt's workshops, books, private clinical practice, and other platforms, he helps people fully experience our deepest longing: to be known. Learn more at curtthompsonmd.com
More resources by Curt Thompson:
- The Being Known Podcast
- Confessional Communities
- The Soul Of Shame (book)
- All books by Curt Thompson
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Are you afraid that processing your sexual fantasies might lead to a relapse? Do you have concerns based on your understanding of the Bible? Does your wife have concerns? In this episode, you'll hear three reasons why processing your sexual fantasies can feel threatening, and what it looks like to do this work safely.
Register now for the Sexual Fantasy Workshop: HMA In A Day (Saturday, July 12) at husbandmaterial.com/workshop
Examples of safely processing sexual fantasies:
- Unburdening Sexual Arousal (Dr. Peter Malinoski working with Drew Boa)
- The Guy In The Locker Room (Drew Boa working with Jordan Castille)
- How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy (Drew Boa and Dr. Doug Carpenter working with each other)
The insights on how to support your spouse's individual recovery and protect your marriage came from Stephen Thomas Consulting.
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Do you find yourself more susceptible to sexual temptation while traveling? Jake Kastleman helps you prepare to for the challenges of trips, vacations, and other disruptions to your daily routine—especially during the summer. You'll get tips on setting healthy expectations, creating structure while letting go of perfectionism, and preventing relapse.
Jake Kastleman is a porn addiction recovery coach and the founder of No More Desire. He holds a degree in Psychology from Utah Valley University. Now over 10 years sober from porn, Jake coaches men one-on-one across the world using a multi-dimensional approach rooted in neuroscience, psychology, parts work, emotional mindfulness, and spiritual growth. His work helps men not just quit porn, but overcome the root causes of cravings and reclaim their purpose and connection to what matters most.
Learn more and connect with Jake:
- No More Desire (Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery)
- The 8 Keys to Lose Your Desire for Porn (Free Workshop)
- 10 Quick Mental Techniques to Stop Porn Cravings (Free eBook)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
When one person has a history of same-sex attraction and another has a history of relying on porn, how is a Christ-centered marriage possible? Christy and Mark Summers tell their incredible story, both individually and as a couple.
Christy and Mark Summers are the co-founders of Redeemed Seasons Ministries, where they care for and support Christian men and women seeking healing and wholeness through Jesus in their relationships, their identity, and their sexuality. Christy and Mark offer one-on-one and couple-to-couple soul care and spiritual direction. They also facilitate support groups for family and friends of LGBTQ-identified loved ones. Learn more at redeemedseasons.org
Resources from Redeemed Seasons:
- Rescue & Restoring (free 12-week healing & discipleship course)
- At My Right Hand (support group for family & friends of LGBTQ loved ones)
- Spiritual Direction (request an appointment)
Other ministries mentioned in this episode:
- Restored Hope Network
- Living Waters (Desert Stream Ministries)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Do you feel confused or overwhelmed by trying to understand unwanted sexual attraction from a Christian perspective? In this episode, you'll hear the strengths and limitations of Side A, Side B, Side X, Side Y—and a new perspective on unwanted sexual attraction: the Sexual Development Model (SDM).
Download the Sexual Development Model chart at https://husbandmaterial.com/sdm
Referenced in this episode:
- Differing Views on Christian Doctrine, Identity, and Homosexuality by Jason Thompson (chart)
- The 5 Streams: Differing Responses To LGBTQ by Linda Seilor (chart)
- How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over Time (podcast) by Drew Boa
- Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexual Development (DVD) by Clifford and Joyce Penner
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is breathwork and how can it help you outgrow porn? Burke Atkerson masterfully explains the value of breathwork by drawing from Christian spirituality, neuroscience, and powerful personal experiences. If you stay until the end, you'll learn an extremely effective breathing technique called the physiological sigh. I loved this episode and I know you will, too.
Burke Atkerson is the founder of Fire Nights and Men Fully Alive. He is an author, coach, and breathwork instructor—as well as a recovering addict, a failed missionary, and an undeserving husband and a grateful father of six.
Buy Burke's book, Fire Nights: Forging Brotherhood That Heals.
Learn more and connect with Burke at menfullyalive.com.
Register now for the Husband Material Retreat at https://husbandmaterial.com/retreat!
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, Burke Atkerson tells his story. You'll hear how he sexualized the need to be seen, safe, and soothed—and nearly burned down his marriage. In the ashes, Burke finally found the community that he didn't realize he needed. Fire Nights is his response to the loneliness epidemic plaguing men.
Burke Atkerson is the founder of Fire Nights and Men Fully Alive. He is an author, coach, and breathwork instructor—as well as a recovering addict, a failed missionary, and an undeserving husband and a grateful father of six.
Buy Burke's book, Fire Nights: Forging Brotherhood That Heals.
Join the movement of men building authentic brotherhood in their backyards at firenights.net.
Learn more and connect with Burke at menfullyalive.com.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Learn twenty ways running or walking can help you outgrow porn. I’m super passionate about this!
Join Husband Material on Strava for encouragement and motivation to exercise: https://strava.app.link/Se2l3eYhuTb
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What does it mean to objectify yourself? Sam Jolman explains objectification, why and how we objectify ourselves, and what healing and repentance can look like.
Sam Jolman (MA, LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. His writing flows out of this unique opportunity to help people know and heal their stories, and find greater sexual wholeness and aliveness. He received his master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care through the Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Sam lives in Colorado with his wife and three sons. Fun fact: Sam and Drew attend the same church! Learn more at samjolman.com
Buy Sam's book: The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality
Write a review of The Sex Talk You Never Got: https://amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=1400243904
Listen to Sam's first Husband Material interview: It's Good To Be Aroused (with Sam Jolman)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is problematic sexual behavior (PSB)? Bill Herring, creator of the PSB Framework, explains the history behind this important concept—and how it can help men outgrowing porn.
Bill Herring (LCSW, CSAT) is a psychotherapist who has influenced the development of sex addiction theory and practice over the past 30 years. In 2019, Bill received the annual "Carnes Award" from the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) for his overall contributions to the field of problematic sexual behavior.
Read Bill's summary of PSB: https://www.billherring.com/problematic-sexual-behavior-framework-summary
Watch Bill's 11-minute video: https://youtu.be/1NZCr-5dyjM?si=L74h9wulfDff_Map
Learn more and connect with Bill at billherring.com
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is enmeshment? How and why does mother enmeshment set men up to struggle with porn? In this episode, you'll learn ten sexual symptoms of enmeshment and how to outgrow it.
Resources mentioned in this episode (including paid links):
- Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, by Ken Adams (book)
- When He's Married To Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and Commitment, by Ken Adams (book)
- Healing With My Parents (the podcast episode where I interviewed my parents, Yvonne and Sandy Boa, about healing as a family)
Want to outgrow enmeshment on your way to outgrowing porn?
Join the waitlist for HMA at joinHMA.com
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Hear Ken Freire's story of healing from childhood sexual abuse, achieving lasting freedom from porn, and finding joy and purpose in Christ.
Ken Freire owns Scriptures.blog and hosts the Shame(less) Podcast. Ken has been helping Christian men break free from addiction and reclaim their purpose for the last 15 years. Through his own journey of overcoming abuse, shame, and embracing God’s grace, he aims to equip others with biblical wisdom and practical tools for lasting transformation. He's been married for 13 years and has 4 beautiful children. Ken has a Master’s in Divinity from Regent University, is a Full Focus Certified Pro, and a Prepare & Enrich Facilitator.
Connect with Ken:
- Podcast: beshameless.org
- Website: scriptures.blog
- Instagram: instagram.com/kenfreire
- Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/kenfreire/
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What determines marital satisfaction more than sex or money? What if "compromise" actually makes things worse? How do you create a marriage you love? Sheila Wray Gregoire unpacks the results of her latest research with thousands of married couples, calling out harmful evangelical teachings and sharing a surprising new data on what it takes to build the marriage you want.
Buy Sheila's new book: The Marriage You Want: Moving beyond Stereotypes for a Relationship Built on Scripture, New Data, and Emotional Health
Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind BareMarriage.com as well
as a sought-after speaker and award-winning author of nine books. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila is passionate about changing
the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage to make it healthy,
evidence-based, and biblical. She and her husband, Keith, live in Ontario,
Canada.
Learn more at BareMarriage.com.
More books by Sheila Wray Gregoire (paid links):
- The Marriage You Want
- The Good Guy's Guide To Great Sex
- The Good Girl's Guide To Great Sex
- The Great Sex Rescue
- She Deserves Better
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Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What's your plan for outgrowing porn? The Five Circles tool will help you define what freedom looks like, why it matters, and how to set yourself up for success.
Download the Five Circles Of Freedom worksheet at husbandmaterial.com/freedom
Mentioned in this episode:
- Tools For Healing: The Three Circles (blog)
- Staci Sprout (creator of the Five Circles Model)
- How To Reframe A Porn Relapse (podcast episode)
- Unwanted, by Jay Stringer (book; paid link)
- The Five Circles Of Freedom (worksheet)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can men protect women instead of complying with sexism and abuse? Dr. Andrew Bauman shares the results of his research with over 2,800 Christian women, and what men need to hear in order to advocate for change in our churches and communities.
Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) and has served as a mental health counselor. Also formerly a pastor, Andrew now works with men and women to bring healing and wholeness to their sexual and spiritual lives.
Buy Andrew's books (paid links):
- Safe Church
- How Not To Be An *SS
- The Sexually Healthy Man
- The Psychology Of Porn
- Stumbling Toward Wholeness
Learn more about Andrew's 4-day men's workshops here.
Connect with Andrew at andrewjbauman.com.
Also mentioned in this episode:
- Dr. Christy Bauman
- Dr. Diane Langberg
- GRACE: Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Am I abusive? How can I acknowledge the truth without beating myself up? What makes a good and safe man? Dr. Andrew Bauman explains two ways to be abusive, the difference between humility and self-hatred, and how to express clean anger and fight fair.
Dr. Andrew J. Bauman is the founder and director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC) and has served as a mental health counselor. Also formerly a pastor, Andrew now works with men and women to bring healing and wholeness to their sexual and spiritual lives.
Buy Andrew's books (paid links):
- Safe Church
- How Not To Be An *SS
- The Sexually Healthy Man
- The Psychology Of Porn
- Stumbling Toward Wholeness
Learn more about Andrew's 4-day men's workshops here.
Connect with Andrew at andrewjbauman.com.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
When I watch porn, when I relapse, when I wander, when I make mistakes... in the middle of my sin, how does God really feel about me?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Inheritance: Message by Graham Cooke (video)
- God Has A Name, by John Mark Comer (book; paid link)
- How Jesus Reverses The Curse (podcast)
Here are a few of the Bible passages we talked about:
- Matthew 3:13-4:11
- John 15:9
- Romans 5:8
- 1 John 2:1
- Psalm 103
- Luke 15
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What are the building blocks of a healthy relationship? In this episode, Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith reveal the "Intimacy Pyramid" of what is required for trust and intimacy—especially for couples healing from sexual betrayal. Get wisdom from two people who rebuilt their marriage after porn almost destroyed it.
Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors of the book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time (paid link). They have over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.
Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.
Download the Raabsmiths' free check-in: The Honest Connection.
Get a copy of Building True Intimacy to dive into the Intimacy Pyramid.
Learn more and connect with Matthew and Joanna at raabsmithteam.com.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Why do I feel so disconnected from other people...and myself? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci unpacks the reasons why many men struggle to emotionally connect. You'll learn about the talker, the fixer, the thinker, the nice guy, "Mr. Right," the runner, the distractor, and the flopper.
Mark your calendar for Drew and Eddie's upcoming workshop:
Emotional Connection Workshop For Men
Friday April 11, 2025 (replays available)
Learn more and register now here.
https://drew-boa.mykajabi.com/workshop
Related resources featuring Eddie:
- Why Men Struggle To Love (book; paid link)
- Becoming Emotionally Mature (podcast)
- How Do I Help My Hurting Spouse? (podcast)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
When did you first hear the word "sex" or "porn" or "masturbation"? The first time you ever hear a word has a disproportionate impact. This is called the power of first mention, and it is an extremely important principle for sex education.
Related resources and episodes:
- TheSexTalk.com (online course for parents)
- Having The Talks: A Guided Conversation Game On Sexuality For Parents And Children (paid link)
- How To Teach Children About Sexuality (with Adam and Karissa King)
- How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex (with Rodney and Traci Wright)
- Healing With My Parents (with Yvonne Boa and Sandy Boa)
- The 2025 Husband Material Retreat (with a breakout session on sex education)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Most of us were never taught how to be vulnerable when we’re sexually struggling. In this episode, Henry Brown shares a simple framework called “scratches, scabs, and scars” to help you decide what to share, when to share, how much to share, and who to trust.
Henry Brown is the Director Of Operations & Support at Husband Material. He is nationally certified as a Life Coach, Recovery Coach, and Sex Addiction Coach. Henry is also a Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at henrybrown.net
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is narcissistic personality disorder, and how does it interact with porn and sex addiction? For someone with NPD or narcissistic traits, what does healing and growth look like?
Dr. Alexandra Repke (CSAT, EMDR, C-PD) is a Christian psychologist who typically work with successful professionals facing challenges in their relationships or careers, often stemming from issues related to addiction, personality, or trauma. She is a lifelong learner, committed to understanding the complexities of mental health and advocating for practical, impactful solutions.
Learn more at repkepsychologicalservices.com
Books mentioned (these are paid links):
- Thanks for the Feedback, by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen
- The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists, by Eleanor Payson
- A Game Free Life, by Stephen Karpman
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What if Every Man’s Battle is wrong? In this episode, I share how I recently chose to “bounce my eyes” (as Every Man’s Battle teaches) and why I later regretted it. You’ll learn 3 reasons why bouncing your eyes is problematic—and what you can do instead when you see a sexually attractive person or picture.
Related Episodes:
- When You Get An Erection...
- What To Do When You See Attractive People
- Outgrowing Porn vs. Purity Culture
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is sextortion, and how can we guard against it? Chris McKenna shares the dark reality of sextortion, why men (especially young men) are most vulnerable to being sextorted, and what we can do to prevent it.
For more information, read this article:
What Is Sextortion? A Prevention And Response Guide For Families
Chris McKenna is the founder of Protect Young Eyes. He is a leading digital safety advocate, advising legislators and emerging tech companies. His impactful 2019 testimony before the US Senate initiated a series of hearings to further online child protection policy.
Under Chris's guidance, the Protect Young Eyes team conducts presentations worldwide to parents, professionals, and schools, They gained recognition by being featured in the Childhood 2.0 movie. The Protect Young Eyes website, courses, and private parent community show caregivers how to prepare and protect their children in digital spaces.
Resources For Parents:
- Start here! (Do these 3 things)
- 5 Habits of a Tech-Ready Home (Course)
- The Table (Private Community)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What does your wife need when you relapse into porn, unwanted sexual behavior, and breaking her trust? Tammy Gustafson explains what is going on inside your wife when you relapse, how you can helpful rather than hurtful, and why it's wise for your wife to have a relapse safety plan.
Tammy Gustafson is the founder of the Betrayal Healing Conference. This free conference is for all women who have experienced sexual betrayal, whether you just found out about his acting out, your relationship is healing, or you are divorced and are picking up the pieces. Husband Material is partnering with Betrayal Healing to promote this amazing event! Register here.
Tammy is also a Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR certified clinician, and speaker with 15 years of experience. She is passionate about helping women find their strength and pick up the pieces of their broken hearts after sexual betrayal so that they are able to see beauty, joy, and adventure again.
Tammy and Nathaniel Gustafson co-lead a monthly webinar series called Both Sides Of The Story. Highly recommended! Check it out here.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this live demo, Doug Carpenter guides Rick Carlson in healing childhood trauma through psychodrama. This episode is an example of Work It Out Wednesday, one of the weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA this weekend at joinHMA.com.
Related episodes:
- Experience Healing Through Psychodrama
- A Story Of Healing Through Psychodrama
Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist and founding board member of Husband Material Ministries. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com
Rick Carlson is a recovery pastor and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at comebackcoaching.org
Drew Boa, Mike Chapman, James Gianakon, and Marcus Spaur played supporting roles in Rick's process.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Learn how external & internal family systems have shaped your sexuality—and what's happening inside you when you feel the pull of pornography. This episode was recorded at "HMA In A Day" as a preview of the Husband Material Academy video course.
Watch the video here.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, Drew Boa helps Jordan Castille process a sexual fantasy about a guy in a locker room. This is a demonstration of Fantasy Friday, one of the weekly HMA Coaching Calls. Learn more and join HMA this week at joinHMA.com.
Drew Boa is the founder of Husband Material. He is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, Brainspotting Practitioner, and Certified Husband Material Coach.
Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Clinical Sex Addiction Specialist, APSATS CPC (Certified Partner Coach) Candidate, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at castillecoaching.com
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Learn how to face your sexual fantasies and process the particularity of what sexually arouses you. This episode was recorded at "HMA In A Day" as a preview of the Husband Material Academy video course.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
75% of Christian men and 40% of Christian women watch porn on a regular basis, but only 21% wish they didn't. Nick Stumbo shares these stats and other major findings of Beyond The Porn Phenomenon, a new research report produced by Barna and Pure Desire Ministries.
Nick Stumbo is the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries and host of the Pure Desire Podcast. He's also the author of Setting Us Free: An Unexpected Journey Of Grace and Safe: Creating A Culture Of Grace In A Climate Of Shame. Learn more at puredesire.org
Order Beyond The Porn Phenomenon
Get the Church Toolkit (free bonus)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
You have a story. Your sexuality has a story. Adam Young explains why and how to engage your sexual story: desires and disappointments, arousal, emotions, shame, abuse, and your war with hope. Adam also gives us a preview of the workshop he will lead at The Porn Free Man Conference on "Engaging God About Your Story." This episode is incredible!
Adam Young is a therapist who focuses on trauma and abuse, and the host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast. Adam is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with a Master's degree in Social Work (Virginia Commonwealth University) and Divinity (Emory University). Adam is the author of Make Sense of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Story with Kindness Changes Everything. He currently serves as a Fellow and Instructor at The Allender Center. Adam lives in Fort Collins, CO, with his wife and two children.
Buy Adam's new book here:
Make Sense Of Your Story: Why Engaging Your Past with Kindness Changes Everything (this is a paid link)
Learn more at adamyoungcounseling.com
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Why is purity culture harmful, and how can we heal from it? Dr. Camden Morgante explains what purity culture is, where it came from, and how to let go of toxic beliefs without letting go of your faith. Stay until the end to hear Dr. Camden's beautiful meditation on healing from sexual shame.
Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist, writer, speaker, and coach. Dr. Camden combines her personal experience growing up in purity culture with her professional experience in mind-body integration to help her clients and readers heal their faith from toxic beliefs. Learn more at DrCamden.com.
Buy Dr. Camden's book (this is a paid link):
Recovering from Purity Culture: Dismantle the Myths, Reject Shame-Based Sexuality, and Move Forward in Your Faith
Related episodes:
- Five Failures Of Purity Culture
- Outgrowing Porn vs. Purity Culture
- What Does The Bible Say About Purity?
- How To Make Sex Great (with Sheila Wray Gregoire)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Why do we hide and lie? How can we stop? This episode will help you feel safe enough to tell the truth—or at least a little safer. I'll lead you in an experiential exercise, similar to what I facilitate in Husband Material Academy and private coaching sessions. Warning: this will be very deep...
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure (podcast)
- The 6 Fs: A Process To Jumpstart Healing (free PDF)
- Certified Husband Material Coaches (directory)
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
When emotional energy and sexual energy fuse together, sexualized attachment is the result. In this episode, Dr. Floyd Godfrey describes the dynamics of sexualized attachment and his personal story of healing and recovery.
Dr. Floyd Godfrey is a Clinical Sexologist, Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Specialist Supervisor, and Certified Mental Health Coach. He is often known for research and intervention with those who struggle with sexualized attachments and eroticized emotions. Connect with Floyd at FloydGodfrey.com
Buy Floyd's recently published book (this is a paid link):
Healing & Recovery – Perspective for Young Men with Sexualized Attachments
For more research on sexualized attachment, visit sexualizedattachments.com
To learn more about the licensing hoax mentioned in the intro of this episode, listen to the AACC Ethics Podcast where Floyd tells this part of his story.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What exactly is attachment? How does it relate to addiction? Michael John Cusick explains why we need to feel seen, soothed, safe, and secure, and what it looks like to experience attachment with God. At the end, Michael guides us in a beautiful meditation on my favorite chapter of the Bible, Psalm 131.
Michael John Cusick is a Licensed Professional Counselor, spiritual director, speaker, and author. Having experienced the restoring touch of God in a deeply broken life and marriage, Michael’s passion is to connect life’s broken realities with the reality of the gospel. In addition to leading Restoring the Soul and equipping Christian organizations around the world, Michael formerly served as an adjunct professor at Denver Seminary and full-time professor at Colorado Christian University.
Michael is also the host of the popular Restoring the Soul podcast, totaling over 1.8 million downloads in just 6 years of podcasting. If you haven’t already, take a listen to his most popular podcasts here.
Pre-order Michael's new book, Sacred Attachment: Escaping Spiritual Exhaustion And Trusting In Divine Love
And don't forget about Michael's first book, Surfing For God: Discovering The Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle
These are paid links.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Exciting news: this podcast is now part of Husband Material Ministries, a Colorado nonprofit corporation! From now on, we are relying on people like you to make resources like this podcast possible (and free) so that more Christian men can outgrow porn. Listen now to learn more...
If you believe in and support our mission, please join our team of monthly supporters at husbandmaterial.com/give.All donations to Husband Material Ministries are fully tax-deductible. Your generosity empowers us to continue creating programs like our podcast, community, academy, conferences, retreats, and more.
Thank you for being part of this ministry.
Give back at husbandmaterial.com/give!
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll learn two powerful antidotes for porn addiction: play and awe. Ready for a deep dive into neuroscience? According to Polyvagal Theory, play and awe are both "blended states" that regulate your autonomic nervous system through connection instead of disconnection. Play is not peripheral. Awe is not optional. These experiences are essential for the health of your brain!
Watch the video at www.husbandmaterial.com/play-awe-porn
Related podcast episodes:
- Porn And Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer)
- Why Men Need To Play (with Dr. Michael Crocker)
- Master Your Nervous System (LIVE)
Recommended reading (these are paid links):
- Anchored by Deb Dana
- Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana
- The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Don't let unwanted same-sex attraction hold you back from a life of purpose and possibility. In this episode, Jason Mellard tells his story of feeling separate from masculinity and how that affected him sexually. Hear how Jason found lasting freedom from porn through finding his voice, grieving his wounds, and stepping into his purpose.
Jason Mellard is the founder of Own Your Identity, where he empowers men experiencing unwanted same-sex attraction to live the life they truly desire. Jason is a Certified High Performance Coach and Certified Husband Material Coach. He has experienced sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, and freedom from porn. Jason is committed to helping men live beyond their unwanted attractions and negative habits into a life of purpose and possibility through the power of Christ and for the glory of God.
Listen to Jason's podcast, Own Your Identity, where he provides practical tools to bring clarity and hope to men navigating unwanted same-sex attraction.
Jason is also the creator of SSAquiz.com. Take the quiz to discover how much same-sex attraction is impacting your life.
Learn more about Jason at ownyouridentitynow.com.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever felt afraid to be vulnerable? Me too! In this episode, Trent Dollyhigh tells his story of childhood trauma, porn, pastoral ministry, prison, rehab, and a new life of redemptive risks. Here is a man who lost the world and gained his soul. May Trent inspire you to be vulnerable!
"There is no relationship without risk." —Trent Dollyhigh
Trent Dollyhigh is the founder of Be Vulnerable Mentoring, a recovery mentoring ministry. Trent is a Certified Professional Life Coach who holds a Bachelor's of Science in Education and a Master's of Divinity in leadership and counseling. He has experienced healing from trauma, divorce, and pornography. Trent's past immaturity, lack of courage, unhealthy sexuality, and fear as a lead pastor cost him almost everything. He has done the hard work of recovery from his own failures, and he has spent years living in freedom. Trent's passion is to guide others from their brokenness to redemption. He has experience with clinical residential treatment and years of recovery work specializing in sexual addiction and trauma. He works with men, women, and couples and is available for 1-on-1 mentoring, intensives, speaking engagements, group mentoring, and wilderness trips. If you're looking for a trauma-informed mentor with personal experience with sexual addiction and recovery, contact Trent to begin the journey to hope and healing.
Learn more at TrentDollyhigh.com.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What can Inside Out 2 teach us about outgrowing porn? I’ll share my top three takeaways. Spoiler alert: important plot details will be revealed.
Related episodes about Internal Family Systems (IFS):
- Experience Healing Through IFS, with Dr. Peter Malinoski
- Unburdening Sexual Arousal, with Dr. Peter Malinoski
- Internal Family Systems and Jesus, with Kim Miller
- Move Toward, Not Against, with Jenna Riemersma
- The Image Of God In You, with Jenna Riemersma
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What are the 3 phases of healing from sexual betrayal? In part 2 of our series with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket, you'll get a helpful overview of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). You'll also learn the difference between forgiveness vs. reconciliation vs. trust and how to avoid "good boy syndrome" while working on rebuilding trust.
Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She has specialized in providing help for the partners of sexual addicts since 1999. Dr. Steffens is a recognized expert in the field, and is now accepting speaking engagements for churches and professional organizations. Learn more and connect with Barb at drbarbarasteffens.com
Buy Barb's book (this is a paid link):
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
Lyschel Burket is the Lead Hope Caster and Founder of Hope Redefined. She is also a current APSATS Board Member and the committee lead for BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Lyschel has been working with women since 2008 by helping them navigate the road of betrayal by sexual infidelity. She knows all too well the isolation, shame, fear, and trauma that betrayal causes. More than anything, Lyschel wants women to know that they don’t have to walk this road alone, so she provides a safe community where each one can find healing and hope.
Learn more about Lyschel and Hope Redefined at hoperedefined.org
More resources for women from Hope Redefined:
- private online community
- online support groups
- intensive retreats
- 1:1 coaching
Listen to the Hope For Wives podcast at hopeforwives.com!
Get trained by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket through BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Learn more here.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What happens to the brain and body of a wife who discovers her husband's relationship with porn? This is part 1 of our 2 part series on the trauma of sexual betrayal taught by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket. You'll learn why wives react the way they do, how to tell the difference between wives expressing anger vs. engaging in abusive behavior, how to set appropriate boundaries while practicing empathy, and what wives really want from their husbands in the healing process (VOWS). This teaching is absolutely brilliant. Take notes!
Dr. Barbara Steffens is the founding president of APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She has specialized in providing help for the partners of sexual addicts since 1999. Dr. Steffens is a recognized expert in the field, and is now accepting speaking engagements for churches and professional organizations. Learn more and connect with Barb at drbarbarasteffens.com
Buy Barb's book (this is a paid link):
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
Lyschel Burket is the Lead Hope Caster and Founder of Hope Redefined. She is also a current APSATS Board Member and the committee lead for BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Lyschel has been working with women since 2008 by helping them navigate the road of betrayal by sexual infidelity. She knows all too well the isolation, shame, fear, and trauma that betrayal causes. More than anything, Lyschel wants women to know that they don’t have to walk this road alone, so she provides a safe community where each one can find healing and hope.
Learn more about Lyschel and Hope Redefined at hoperedefined.org
More resources for women from Hope Redefined:
- private online community
- online support groups
- intensive retreats
- 1:1 coaching
Listen to the Hope For Wives podcast at hopeforwives.com!
Get trained by Dr. Barbara Steffens and Lyschel Burket through BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training). Learn more here.
Support the show
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
If you feel unlovable or uniquely broken, this sermon is for you. Through the story of Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch, you'll hear how Jesus heals sexual shame, childhood trauma, systemic injustice, and the agonizing experience of being excluded and emasculated. No matter what you have done sexually or what has been done to you sexually...you belong!
This sermon was originally preached on Sunday, September 9, 2024 at the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado. Sign up to be notified about the 2025 retreat here.
Watch the video here.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
We all experience sexual attraction differently (SSA, OSA, etc). In this episode, we explore the benefits, challenges, and limitations of forming deep friendships with men who experience different types of sexual attraction.
Drew Boa is the founder of Husband Material. Email Drew at husbandmaterial.com/drew
Henry Brown is the Director Of Operations & Support at HM. Email Henry at henry@husbandmaterial.com.
Jason Pidcock is a trauma-informed recovery coach and HM Community Member. Learn more at jasonpidcockcoaching.com.
Jordan Castille is a board-certified Christian counselor and Certified HM Coach. Learn more at castillecoaching.com.
Mentioned in this episode:
- How To Escape A Creepy Conversation Before Sexting
- Appropriate Nudity Between Men (LIVE)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do you view men who experience same-sex attraction (SSA)? In this episode, Jordan Castille and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to men.
Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Certified Clinical Sex Addiction Specialist, APSATS CPC (Certified Partner Coach) - Candidate, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He and his wife Cherise have two boys. Jordan loves Jesus, people, video games, working out, Tex-Mex, learning how to fix things, legos, and his church community. Jordan also does one-on-one coaching and small group coaching within the Husband Material Community. He is trained with partner betrayal sensitivity through the APSATS organization.
https://www.castillecoaching.com
Book a Call
Email: Jordan@castillecoaching.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do you view men who experience opposite-sex attraction (OSA)? In this episode, Jason Pidcock and Drew Boa deconstruct 10 stereotypes about men who are sexually attracted to women.
Jason Pidcock is a Certified Trauma Informed Recovery Coach and longtime member of the Husband Material community. Jason is passionate about helping men overcome the coping strategies they have developed that are no longer serving them well. After finding much healing from his own story of spiritual abuse and pornography addiction, he is transitioning from a career as a construction contractor to working full-time as a coach helping other men find their path to wholeness.
Reach out to Jason here…
Website: Www.jasonpidcockcoaching.com
Email: jason@jasonpidcockcoaching.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
If you've spent years wishing your sexual thoughts and feelings would go away, this episode is for you.
Related resources:
- Unwanted, by Jay Stringer (paid link)
- How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
- How To Analyze Sexual Fantasies
- Why We Sexualize Emotions...And How To Desexualize Them
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever felt unable to enter into your wife's pain? In this episode, Nathaniel Gustafson explains how to come close to your wife in a way she is more likely to trust. You'll learn how to stay out of shame, keep the spotlight on her, and practice these skills before "game time." Sobriety is not enough. You must learn empathy. Nathaniel's compassionate guidance will help you develop it.
Watch the video of this episode here.
Nathaniel Gustafson is a licensed professional counselor and ordained pastor who specializes in working with men and couples recovering from pornography and affairs. Nathaniel also offers monthly webinars alongside his wife, Tammy.
Learn more about Nathaniel at tenderheartedmen.com
Join Nathaniel's next Know Your Why Workshop in October!
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
HMA is open! Join now at joinHMA.com
The doors will close on Sunday, July 21.
Many men have been wounded by women. In this episode, Britta Eskey explains how women can help men heal wounds caused by women. Without women, we are missing half of humanity.
Britta Eskey co-founded COR, which assists people in finding and living their purpose, including through the Noble Man workshop. Britta is the author of Initiations in Love, a spiritual memoir which answers the age old question: “What do we do with our pain?” Britta has a background in social work, family therapy, counseling, family constellation work, dance and movement, spiritual direction, and life coaching. Britta is a NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) trauma-informed professional and a certified Compassion Cultivation Teacher. She lives in Asheville, North Carolina, with her husband, Lee Eskey, and their dog, Heidi.
Explore Britta's work at corexperience.com
Buy Britta's book: Initiations in Love: A Memoir (paid link)
Learn more about The Noble Man Workshop at corexperience.com/nobleman
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
HMA is open! Join now at joinHMA.com
The doors will close on Sunday, July 21.
Did you know that you have more than one inner child? In this episode, you'll get to know three types of unhealed boys within you. Then at the end, I'll share what it looks like to help them heal.
You'll meet:
- The "good boy" who became "the hero."
- The "bad boy" who became "the villain."
- The "hurt boy" who became "the victim."
Related episodes:
- Porn And The Inner Child
- The Inner Child Challenge
- How To Heal Your Inner Child
- Find The Boy Within The Man
- Four Ways To Reparent Yourself
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
HMA is open! Join now at joinHMA.com
The doors will close on Sunday, July 21.
How can I communicate better with members of the opposite sex? What words and phrases can I use? Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Sulonda Smith shares insights and ideas rooted in biology, neuroscience, and 30 years of experience helping men relate to women.
Sulonda Smith is an author, coach, speaker, and CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) known as "The Communications Ninja." Her mission is to show men in relationships with women how to decode, understand, and communicate with her to gain more respect, trust, and appreciation. Learn more at sulondasmith.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
HMA is open! Join now at joinHMA.com
The doors will close on Sunday, July 21.
Have you ever tried to remove access to porn on your digital devices? What if you could create a filter with no loopholes? In this episode, you'll learn a new and innovative approach to internet filtering with Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of pluckyfilter.com. You'll also hear from Scott Wurtz, a passionate Plucky user. If you're interested in protecting yourself from porn without giving up your phone, this episode is for you.
Learn more at pluckyfilter.com.
Jon and Kristin Wilkes, founders of Plucky, have been married for 12 years and have 3 young children. Jon created Plucky because he needed a strong internet filter and happened to have the software skills to make it. Kristin is the Director of Communications and Jon's cheerleader. They've been on this adventure of using their skills for God's kingdom full-time for the past 9 years.
Scott Wurtz grew up in Wheaton, IL, and attended Wheaton College (BS, MA). Professionally, he has taught physics and computer science at the high school level and currently works as a software developer. Scott discovered Plucky during the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020. He has used it ever since.
Learn more at pluckyfilter.com.
Your free guide to technology that keeps you safe from porn:
https://www.purelifealliance.com/porn-fighting-technology.html
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
HMA is open! Join now at joinHMA.com
The doors will close on Sunday, July 21.
How can a couple devastated by porn heal, grow, and become even stronger? In this episode, Rich and Deanna Millentree tell their incredible story.
"We're Rich and DeAnna Millentree and we love growing in marriage! We've ridden the rollercoaster of marriage for over 28 years. The ups are exhilarating, but the downs are daunting. As Christian Marriage Coaches, we have one big goal: guide couples to ignite deep, lasting connections to Jesus and one another—no matter where your marriage is at. Together, we will help you break the bad habits that have left you feeling like distant roommates. Let us help you find your vibe."
Connect with Rich and Deanna here:
- Growing In Marriage website: growinginmarriage.com
- Growing In Marriage podcast: growinginmarriage.com/podcast
- Confident Husband Mastermind: growinginmarriage.com/chm
- Couples Bible Study: growinginmarriage.com/couples
- Instagram: instagram.com/growinginmarriage
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
HMA is open! Join now at joinHMA.com
The doors will close on Sunday, July 21.
In this episode, I transform one of my triggers using The F.L.O.S.S. Method with help from three Certified Husband Material Coaches: Andrew Loyd, Juan Mejia, and Rocky Pisor. This episode was recorded live at the recent HMA In A Day workshop as a live demonstration of Trigger Tuesday, one of the weekly coaching calls in Husband Material Academy.
The F.L.O.S.S. Method:
F = Fear
L = Lie
O = Origin Story
S = Sadness
S = Surrender
Drew Boa is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional and Coach in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Connect with Drew at drewboa.com
Andrew Loyd is an Ordained Pastor and Coach in Cottage Grove, Oregon. Connect with Andrew at restoredstorycoaching.com
Juan Mejia is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach in Atlanta, Georgia. Email Juan at juanmejiacounseling@gmail.com.
Rocky Pisor is a Pastoral Counselor and Coach in Fresno, California. Connect with Rocky at reconnecthope.com
Free resource mentioned in this episode:
- What If I Don't Remember Much Of My Childhood? by Adam Young
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
HMA is open! Join now at joinHMA.com
The doors will close on Sunday, July 21.
Triggers don't have to be tyrants. Triggers can be trailheads that lead you into healing. In this episode, you'll learn how to transform your triggers from threats into opportunities using The F.LO.S.S. Method. This episode is an excerpt from the recent HMA In A Day workshop.
The F.L.O.S.S. Method:
F = Fear
L = Lie
O = Origin Story
S = Sadness
S = Surrender
Free resource mentioned in this episode:
- HMA Preview Lesson at husbandmaterial.com/hma-preview
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
HMA is open! Join now at joinHMA.com
The doors will close on Sunday, July 21.
Tera Brown went from trying to fix her husband's sex addiction to finding herself, her emotions, her boundaries, and her sacred ground. In this episode, you'll learn what it looks like to heal from relational trauma and feel alive in your body.
Tera Brown is a trauma-informed life coach trained by APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Treatment Specialists). She woke up from a lifelong pattern of avoiding her emotions when her husband disclosed his sex addiction after 16 years of marriage. Tera and her husband have now been married for 29 years.
Tera specializes in helping women and couples create personal safety, emotional sobriety, and peace. Learn more about her coaching practice, support groups, and online classes at coachtera.com.
Interested in Tera's experiential retreat?
Check out La Loba: The Woman Who Knows
Next retreat: October 18-20, 2024 in Smithfield, Utah
Mentioned in this episode:
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (paid link)
Come to our free online workshop:
HMA In A Day on Saturday, July 13!
Sign up now at husbandmaterial.com/workshop
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do I sit in the dirt with someone who is experiencing sexual brokenness? What if I don't know what to say? What if I find myself dysregulated or sexually aroused by the other person? Jeremy Williamson offers invaluable wisdom and counterintuitive clarity about how "be with" others in such a way that they experience the presence of God.
Jeremy Williamson is a storywork coach and counselor with ReStory. He is also the Director of Restorative Experiences at Restoration Project. As a former pastor and missionary with 20+ years of experience, Jeremy serves as a kind and passionate guide for men and women who long to know God and live in wholeness. Email Jeremy at jeremy@restory.life.
If you loved this interview...
- Take the Sitting In The Dirt Course by Chris Bruno and Jeremy Williamson (highly recommended!)
- Join Sitting In The Dirt Cohort (for 5 weeks with Jeremy)
Use the discount code HUSBANDMATERIAL for $10 off!
Come to our free online workshop:
HMA In A Day on Saturday, July 13!
Sign up now at husbandmaterial.com/workshop
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever been disappointed by traditional counseling or talk therapy? In this episode, you'll discover the power of a whole-brain approach to outgrowing porn. You'll learn the why, what, and how of experiential healing work. This episode is required viewing for my clients.
Related episodes:
- How To Heal Your Inner Child
- Experience Healing Through IFS
- Experience Healing Through The Immanuel Approach
- Experience Healing Through Psychodrama
- Healing Through Artwork And Storywork
- Attunement: The Key To Connection
Are you interested in doing experiential healing work?
- Join the waitlist for HMA: joinHMA.com
- Apply for 1:1 coaching with me: drewboa.com/application
- Apply for our next healing weekend: husbandmaterial.com/apply
Come to our free online workshop:
HMA In A Day on Saturday, July 13!
Sign up now at husbandmaterial.com/workshop
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do you pursue restoration after a relapse, especially in marriage or ministry leadership? Rocky Pisor tells his own story of processing a porn relapse after 17 years of sobriety. You'll learn how to notice the warning signs of impending relapse, and how to respond to relapse with curiosity and compassion rather than punishing yourself or pretending like everything is fine. There is wisdom in this episode!
Rocky Pisor is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Sex Addiction Mentor, Trauma-Informed Facilitator, and Pastoral Counselor who has worked through his own story of freedom from sex addiction. Learn more at regener8mentoring.com
Read Rocky's free resource: How to Process a Lapse/Relapse
Schedule a free, no-obligation personal chat with Rocky: https://calendly.com/rocky-pisor/quick-chat
Email Rocky at rockyp@regnener8mentoring.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
"There is nothing inherently wrong with an aroused man." What is arousal? Why is it good? Sam Jolman helps us reclaim the heart of masculine sexuality for the purpose of awe, play, and worshipping God. Along the way, you'll learn why evil hates sexual arousal and the difference between sexuality and sensuality. At the end, you'll receive a beautiful blessing from Sam. This episode is amazing!
Sam Jolman (MA, LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. His writing flows out of this unique opportunity to help people know and heal their stories, and find greater sexual wholeness and aliveness. He received his master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care through the Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Sam lives in Colorado with his wife and three sons. Fun fact: Sam and Drew attend the same church!
Buy Sam's book (paid link):
The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality
Join Sam's newsletter for a free copy of the first chapter: samjolman.substack.com
Learn more and connect with Sam at samjolman.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Why do I struggle with gay porn? What does freedom look like? How can I stop using gay porn? In this episode, I answer these questions based on years of research and helping hundreds of men achieve lasting freedom from gay porn.
Recommended resources (including paid links):
- Healing And Recovery: Perspective For Young Men With Sexualized Attachments by Floyd Godfrey
- Man Cards: Conversation Starters For Men (Sale: 30% off until Father's Day)
Related episodes of Husband Material:
- Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them
- How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
- What If I'm Sexually Attracted To Myself?
- How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over Time
- The Exact Path To Freedom From Porn
Ready to pursue freedom from gay porn?
Join the waitlist for HMA at joinHMA.com
Save the date: HMA in a Day on Saturday, July 13, 2024!
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What's the point of processing childhood experiences? In this special episode recorded live at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit, Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt share insights and stories about how processing childhood experiences can help you outgrow porn.
Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com
Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist and the co-owner of Insight Counseling Services in Rochester, Michigan. He's the author of "Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male."
Eddie Capparucci is a Christian therapist who specializes in the treatment of sexual and pornography addiction. He's the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP) and the author of "Going Deeper: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction."
Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues and their impact on faith. The program uses the TINSA treatment model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and attachment wounds driving addictive behaviors and problematic thinking around sex and intimacy.
You can also watch the video version here: www.husbandmaterial.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Why do we sexualize emotions, and how can we desexualize them? In this episode, I explain what it looks like to "right-size" sexual energy through processing emotions and releasing trauma.
Free tools to process emotions:
- Feelings And Needs Wheel
- Feelings And Needs Inventory
Ready to release some trauma?
- Come to the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado on September 6-10, 2024. Save $100 when you sign up before June 8 at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
"Before the retreat, I was plagued with an overwhelming sense of sadness that I could ignore for a while but never escape. During the retreat, I was able to access my suppressed, righteous anger, experience it, and direct it for good." —Scott
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What happens when you feel entitled to sex and treat your wife like a replacement for porn? In this episode, Noah Filipiak tells his story of overcoming sexual entitlement and objectification. Along the way, he unpacks the false promises of purity culture, what love really looks like, how God's grace changes us, and the power of gratitude.
Noah Filipiak is a pastor, author, and the host of The Flip Side Podcast. He also blogs at noahfilipiak.com. Noah and his wife Jen have three daughters. He is on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @noahfilipiak. Buy Noah's book (this is a paid link): Beyond the Battle: A Man’s Guide To His Identity In Christ In An Oversexualized World
Join a 7-week online group with Noah to experience how to overcome pornography, lust, and fantasy. After the 7 weeks, alumni get to join the free Beyond the Battle alumni community filled with ongoing support and encouragement. Sign up at www.beyondthebattle.net.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is sexless marriage? Why do couples experience this? Sexless marriage is often a symptom of deeper psychosomatic issues. Adam and Karissa teach practical tools to build a sexful marriage through vulnerability, intimacy, and safe touch. This episode can also help couples for whom intercourse is painful or not possible.
Adam + Karissa King are a licensed coach/therapist team and the founders of Dear Young Married Couple, where they help couples become intimately connected, get adventurous, and find purpose.
Free download: 5 Steps When Trust Has Been Broken
Check out Adam and Karissa's EROS Conference: dearyoungmarriedcouple.com/eros
My wife and I attended and it was exactly what we needed!
Buy Adam and Karissa's Card Decks For Couples (these are paid links):
FOUNDATIONS - Questions And Tips To Become More Connected
REALIZATIONS - See How Well You Know Your Significant Other
SEXPECTATIONS - Talk Openly About Sex Without Having Sex
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do you respond to someone else's story with curiosity and compassion? In part 4 of this 4 part series, Marcus Spaur shares his story: "If I Only Could Have Been..."
If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.
Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group
Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com
Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.com
Marcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.com
Chris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.com
Resources for responding to someone else's story:
- Attunement: The Key To Connection
- How To Create Connection In Any Conversation
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality"
If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.
Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group
Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com
Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.com
Marcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.com
Chris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.com
Resources For Story Writing (including paid links):
- Story Writing Resources, by Adam Young (free PDF documents)
- Expressive Writing: Words That Heal, by Dr. James Pennebaker and Dr. John Evans (book)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk."
If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.
Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group
Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com
Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.com
Marcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.com
Chris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces."
If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups.
Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group
Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.com
Wendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.com
Marcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.com
Chris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.com
Resources for Story Work:
- The Allender Center and Allender Theory (organization, podcast, courses)
- Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way To Healing, by Jay Stringer (book)
- Redeeming Heartache, with Cathy Loerzel (video)
- The Place We Find Ourselves, by Adam Young (podcast)
- The ReStory Course, by Restory Counseling (video course)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn?
This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com
Resources for Inner Healing Prayer:
- Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inner Healing Movement, by Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson (book & paid link)
- Introduction To Healing Prayer, with Leslie Weinzettel (podcast)
- Experience Healing Through The Immanuel Approach (podcast)
- Transformation Prayer Ministry (book & organization)
- Listening To Immanuel (PDF worksheet for journaling)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior.
John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundations of Polyvagal Informed Practice Clinical Training Series with Deb Dana. He's a grateful follower of Jesus who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.
This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com
Books on Polyvagal Theory (these are paid links):
- Anchored, by Deb Dana
- Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, by Deb Dana
- The Pocket Guide To The Polyvagal Theory, by Dr. Stephen Porges
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.com
Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues. Boulder Recovery uses the TINSA treatment model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and attachment wounds driving addictive behaviors and problematic thinking around sex and intimacy.
EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT: Today, Matt Wenger and Drew Boa are releasing a new free online course called "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words.
Helpful phrases:
- Tell me more…
- What’s it like for you...
- How does that affect you?
- That makes sense (because)...
- It sounds like / I hear you saying…
- It seems like something shifted…
- That stood out to me…
Resources mentioned (including paid links):
- Attunement: The Key To Connection, podcast by Drew Boa
- The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, book by Deb Dana
- Man Cards: Conversation Starters For Men
- Dear Young Married Couple Card Decks
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing.
Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Contact Mike at polarlifeconsulting.com/contact
Check out Mike's new podcast: Healing For Male Survivors
- Listen on Apple
- Listen on Spotify
Dr. Doug Carpenter is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Certified Husband Material Coach, and the author of Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com
Husband Material episodes about sexual abuse:
- Was I Sexually Abused? (with Dr. Doug Carpenter)
- Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire (with Dr. Doug Carpenter)
- Healing From Sexual Abuse, Part 1 (with Mike Chapman)
- Healing From Sexual Abuse, Part 2 (with Mike Chapman)
- Porn As Re-Enactment Of Sexual Abuse (with Wendell Moss)
- Rags To Riches To Ruin To Redemption (with Dr. Joe Martin)
- Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse (with Dr. Doug Carpenter and Mike Chapman)
Resources mentioned (including paid links):
- 1in6.org - helpful website
- MenHealing.org - helpful website
- MaleSurvivor.org - helpful website
- Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development - book by Dr. Doug Carpenter
- Bent On Men: A Memoir On Taboo Feelings, Fraternal Curiosity, And Faith - book by Harrison Bly
- Unchained Memories: True Stories Of Traumatic Memories Lost And Found - book by Lenore Terr
- Scouts Honor - documentary
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful.
Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill co-founded Kintsugi Recovery Partners and co-authored 5 books in the Full Disclosure Series. They developed the first full disclosure training and certification course, and they provide the highest level of support for professionals using their Restoring Truth Model. Learn more at kintsugirecoverypartners.com
Dan Drake is the Founder and Clinical Director of Banyan Therapy Group in Los Angeles, California. He is a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Supervisor and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Supervisor. Dan is a Christian, a husband, and a father.
Dr. Janice Caudill is an APSATS supervisor, CSAT supervisor, Certified Partner Trauma Therapist supervisor, Certified Partner Betrayal Trauma Therapist, Certified Intimacy Anorexia Therapist, and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. She is the Founder of Intensive Recovery Healing and Intensive Recovery Coaching. Learn more at intensivehope.com
Buy Dan and Janice's books! (these are paid links)
For you (the blue books):
- Full Disclosure: How To Share The Truth After Sexual Betrayal
- Your Disclosure Document: A 10-Step Guide
For your partner (the green books):
- Full Disclosure: How Disclosure Can Help You Heal (part 1)
- Full Disclosure: Preparing For Disclosure On Your Terms (part 2)
- Full Disclosure: Post Disclosure Healing (part 3)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies!
Related episodes:
- Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire
- How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
- How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy
- Introduction To Sexual Symbolism
- How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over Time
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change.
Jonathan Daugherty is the founder and president of Be Broken, and founder of the Gateway to Freedom 3-day workshop for men. He also hosts the weekly radio program, Pure Sex Radio. Jonathan lives with his wife and family in San Antonio, Texas.
Buy Jonathan's books (these are paid links):
- Grace-Based Recovery: A Safe Place to Heal and Grow
- Grace-Based Transformation: The 3-Stage Journey to Wholeness in Christ
- Secrets: A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity and Second Chances
Meet Jonathan, Drew, and other sexual integrity leaders at the 2024 Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit in Colorado Springs, CO!
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like.
Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (these are paid links):
- Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey Of Faith And Sexual Identity
- No Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging In A World Of Alienation
- The Limits Of My World: a novel
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is the difference between outgrowing porn and purity culture? In this replay from The Porn Free Man Conference, you'll experience dramatic examples of what these two approaches look like, sound like, and feel like when you are...
- Reaching out to a friend after watching porn (failure vs. feedback)
- Sharing vulnerable parts of your story (harsh and critical vs. gentle and kind)
- Checking in with your small group (lots of accountability vs. lots of attunement)
- Feeling the urge to watch porn (battle our sexuality vs. befriend our sexuality)
- Being sexually attracted to someone (fear and shame vs. curiosity and compassion)
- Celebrating 6 months without porn (behavior modification vs. becoming mature)
Drew Boa, Doug Carpenter, Henry Brown, and Jordan Castille are all members of the Husband Material Leadership Team.
Related episodes:
- How To Outgrow Porn (Intro To HMA)
- Experience Healing Through Psychodrama
- How To Reframe A Porn Relapse
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs.
Dr. Gerry Crete is a marriage and family therapist and professional counselor who specializes in the treatment of trauma, addictions, and anxiety disorders. He is a former president of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association, founder of Transfiguration Counseling, and co-founder of Souls and Hearts. Dr. Gerry has long been passionate about integrating principles of the Christian faith with effective mental health treatment.
Buy Gerry's new book (this is a paid link):
Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety Through Healing Our Parts
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can a husband help his wife during a trigger? Tammy Gustafson reveals what triggers are, how they affect your wife's brain, and what she needs after a trigger tornado has passed. Discover how her triggers can become opportunities for healing!
Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR certified clinician, and speaker with 15 years of experience. She is the founder of Betrayal Healing and host of the Betrayal Healing Conference. She is passionate about helping women find their strength and pick up the pieces of their broken hearts after sexual betrayal, so they are able to see beauty, joy, and adventure again.
Join me at Tammy's Betrayal Healing Conference from January 22-26, 2024!
NOTE: This description contains an affiliate link.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What happens when you combine storywork, artwork, and Jesus? Witness powerful healing in this live demonstration of HMA Coaching! As Drew shares a story of difficulty, chalk artisan Philip Leach creates a visual representation while coach John Kilmer offers attunement. Then we invite Jesus into the story and watch the chalk art change. The result is jaw-droppingly beautiful and incredibly meaningful.
Watch the video of this episode here:
- husbandmaterial.com/blog/healing-through-artwork-and-storywork-with-philip-leach-and-john-kilmer
Philip Leach is a worshipper and friend of Jesus who enjoys expressing creativity and building joyful connection through snow sculpting, Immanuel Doodling, deliberate appreciation, and facilitating times of quiet listening and art. His journey has included lots of hand-painted pottery as well as two decades of presenting “chalk talks”. His primary passion is joining other men in breaking free from anything that’s keeping us from enjoying life, and then practicing skills to move forward powered by Joy.
John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He's a grateful follower of Jesus Christ who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.
This type of experience is now being offered every week inside Husband Material Academy (HMA). The doors to HMA are currently open! Join now before the doors close on January 14 at joinHMA.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Learn 12 reasons why shaming yourself doesn't help, what's more powerful than shame, and what you can do instead of shaming yourself.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can I help my partner heal from the impact of my porn and sex addiction? Psychotherapist and author Carol Sheets reveals what sexually betrayed partners need most, and how you can "help her heal" when you create safety, practice empathy, offer validation, and take ownership without going into shame. This episode is super practical and full of great ideas!
Carol Juergensen Sheets (LCSW, CSAT) also known as "Carol The Coach" is the author of many books and workbooks about sex addiction and partner betrayal. She is also the creator of ERCEM: Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model.
Carol is also a guest speaker at The Porn Free Man Online Conference on January 5-6, 2024! Join us at thepornfreeman.com
Books and workbooks featuring Carol Sheets (these are paid links):
- Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook For Sex Addicts To Help Their Partners Heal
- Help Them Heal: Teaching You Both How To Heal Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal
- Unleashing Your Power: Moving Through the Trauma of Partner Betrayal
Learn more about Carol at sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do you shift from self-condemnation to self-compassion? Chris Bruno reveals how to discover the story behind your struggle with porn. You'll learn what it looks like to rediscover your true "masterpiece-ness" even in the throes of a porn relapse. Our deepest healing lies in turning to the God who knows and created us in His image.
Chris Bruno leads Restoration Project and ReStory Counseling, where he helps people come alive. He is a licensed professional counselor who has decades of experience helping men recover their hearts.
Chris is also a guest speaker at The Porn Free Man 2024 Online Conference on January 5-6, 2024! Learn more at thepornfreeman.com
Check out Chris' online courses at ReStory Labs
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What can sexual fantasies teach us? How should we analyze them? In this episode, Drew and Doug vulnerably share and analyze each other's sexual fantasies so you can understand what this work practically looks like and how to do it well.
The best place to start is Husband Material Academy, which opens up on January 1.
Learn more at joinHMA.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What desires are commonly symbolized by the penis, breasts, kissing, oral sex, nudity, diapers, and feet? Find out in this short and sweet introduction!
Related episodes:
- Theology Of The Penis
- Unwanted Sexual Attraction
- Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire
- How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
- What Should I Do With My Sexual Desires?
Here is the video I mentioned: Trauma and Sexual Fetish | Where Do Fetishes Come From?
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is the Immanuel Approach? How can it help Christian men outgrow porn? Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson unpack this amazing way to change your brain and heal your heart through connecting with Jesus experientially. You'll also hear a refreshing reminder of how Jesus relates to you with unconditional love, even in your deepest shame.
Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson are the founders of Face To Face Ministries. They are passionate heart healers who have dedicated their lives to activating and equipping men and women with tools backed by brain science to accelerate personal breakthroughs through connecting with Jesus using the Immanuel Approach.
Check out Cathy and Melinda's podcast here.
Immanuel Sessions are designed to help you connect with Jesus, receive healing from emotional wounds and trauma, and uncover lies that keep you from living out the truth of who you are in Christ. There is no agenda other than to help you connect with Jesus and allow Him to lead you into greater healing, freedom, and wholeness.
Schedule an an Immanuel Session with Face To Face Ministries here.
Books mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):
- Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inner Healing Movement, by Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson
- The Immanuel Approach For Emotional Healing & For Life, by Dr. Karl Lehman (free draft version)
- The Immanuel Approach For Emotional Healing & For Life, by Dr. Karl Lehman (published paperback version)
- Joyful Journey: Listening To Immanuel, by Dr. James Wilder, Anna Kang, John Loppnow, and Sungshim Loppnow
- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love, by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What if certain kinds of medication can make it easier to outgrow porn? Adam O'Neill unpacks the benefits and drawbacks of supplementing your sexual recovery with medication such as naltrexone. You'll get wisdom about what to expect and how to decide what's right for you. Adam also addresses common objections and concerns about receiving psychiatric assistance with compassion and clarity from a Christ-centered perspective.
Here are the case reports Adam mentioned about naltrexone:
- Internet sex addiction treated with naltrexone - Mayo Clinic
- Naltrexone in cases of compulsive sexual behaviors - Psychiatrist.com
- Naltrexone in the treatment of adolescent sexual offenders - National Library of Medicine
- Treatment Of Compulsive Pornography Use With Naltrexone: A Case Report - American Journal Of Psychiatry
- Compulsive Sexual Behavior and Alcohol Use Disorder Treated With Naltrexone: A Case Report and Literature Review
Interested in learning more? Bring your questions to our Live Q&A with Adam O'Neill on Tuesday, November 28th @ 7 PM Eastern Time inside the Husband Material Community.
Adam O'Neill is a Certified Physician Assistant who practices Christian Psychiatry in Virginia, where he is licensed to prescribe medications. Adam graduated from Thomas Jefferson University with a Masters of Physician Assistant Studies in 2019. Prior to that, he attended Wheaton College in Illinois, where he earned his Bachelors in Psychology. Learn more about Adam O'Neill & Associates at aoavirginia.com
Buy Adam's book (this is a paid link):
The Mind After Eden: Psychiatry in a Post-Fall World
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How has porn impacted your approach to recovery? Learn 7 pornographic styles of recovery and what healthy recovery looks like instead.
Pornographic recovery is:
- isolated
- escapist
- avoiding pain
- impatient
- passive/consuming
- cold and harsh.
Healthy recovery is:
- relational
- embodied
- embracing pain
- resilient
- proactive/creative
- warm and kind
The idea of "a pornographic style of recovery" is based on Andrew Bauman's concept of "a pornographic style of relating" (PSR) as described here:
- A Pornographic Style Of Relating (article)
- The Psychology of Porn (book & paid link)
Other Husband Material episodes mentioned:
- Long Distance Friendship
- How To Heal Your Inner Child
- How To Measure Freedom From Porn
- How To Outgrow Porn
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What helps men feel safe to open up and heal from trauma? Dr. James Reeves (the pirate pastor) tells the story of facing his childhood wounds, building a hospital church, and creating the Fearless Series—which is fantastic!
The Fearless Series for Men is designed for Christian men to get the conversation started about childhood sexual, physical, or emotional trauma and how it has affected their lives.
Check it out:
- The Fearless Series For Men: fs4men.com
- The Fearless Series For Women: fs4women.com
Dr. James Reeves has been a pastor for more than 40 years. He nearly resigned, but chose to confront his past, and then used his newfound freedom in Christ to build a "hospital church" based on addressing emotional wounds. James is a regular speaker at conferences across America about how the local church can minister effectively to survivors of sexual trauma.
Interested? Email James at Jamesreeves68@gmail.com.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What if your church was a safe space to outgrow porn? Sam Black explains how porn recovery ministry leads to less work for pastors, more generous donors, more passionate volunteers, and a legacy of health for the next generation.
Sam Black is the Director of Recovery Education at CovenantEyes. He has edited 16 books on the impact of pornography and authored two: The Porn Circuit and The Healing Church.
Buy Sam's new book (this is a paid link):
The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography And How To Fix It.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever felt uncomfortable or unsafe while chatting online? In this episode, I’ll share practical tips on how to escape creepy conversations… and 5 reasons why we sometimes don’t. At the end, you’ll hear real-life examples of how I have responded to unwanted sexual communication.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever been rejected? Roy Kim explains how rejection and internalized racism drove him to pornography. He also opens up about what it's like to struggle with with porn as a pastor—and as a male betrayed partner. Roy offers real hope through the power of compassion and community.
Roy Kim, M.Div, CSAT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Southern California focusing on sexual addictions and betrayal trauma. He is a former pastor and enjoys partnering with pastors to educate churches about sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Roy facilitates groups for sexual addiction, and betrayed partners, and facilitates specialized groups for pastors with sexual addiction. He also hosts the SA Speakeasy Podcast, which centers around sexual addiction conversations.
Connect with Roy here...
- Website: newlegacycounseling.com
- Instagram: @thisisroykim
- Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sa-speakeasy/id1438434927
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Do you know what it's like to struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) in addition to porn? Andrew Loyd does; he has also experienced years of freedom. In this episode, Andrew unpacks how OCD and unwanted sexual behavior can be related. With curiosity and compassion, he also highlights the path to healing. This episode is important!
Andrew Loyd is the founder of Restored Story Coaching. He is an ordained minister, Certified Enneagram Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He is passionate about helping people find greater hope and healing through the power of kindness. He works with men and ministry leaders to identify and rewrite the shame scripts running their lives so they can live with greater freedom and purpose. Andrew lives with his family in Eugene, Oregon. In his spare time, Andrew loves playing guitar, songwriting, competitive axe throwing, and pairing a good cup of coffee with an excellent book.
Book a free 30-minute session with Andrew: calendly.com/restoredstory/30min
Learn more about Andrew at restoredstorycoaching.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Who was David—the boy, the king, the sex offender? In this episode, you’ll see David’s sexual story from a new angle. You'll also get a taste of church with Husband Material Men through the dramatic reading of Scripture, confession of sin, assurance of pardon, and Christ-centered preaching by Drew Boa.
This sermon was delivered on September 10, 2023 at the Husband Material Retreat.
"God loves all parts of you and me. He did not come to destroy our parts. He came to redeem our parts."
NOTE: Watch the video of this episode here.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is reintegrative therapy? Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. explains his approach to treating trauma and how it can help men outgrow porn. Joseph also shares insights about sexual attraction, sexual development, euphoric recall, and the importance of being able to choose your own values and goals.
Dr. Joseph Nicolosi Jr. is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, researcher, and clinical director at The Breakthrough Clinic in Southern California. He received his Ph.D. in 2009 from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology.
Joseph is the president of the Reintegrative Therapy Association, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization in which trauma treatment is the goal, and sexual attraction change is often the byproduct. He is the author of multiple peer-reviewed, published articles on Reintegrative Therapy.
To participate in Joseph's new research study on memory recall and sexual arousal, email losangelesresearchcenter@gmail.com. Find out more information here.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do you handle the intense urge to watch porn? This was Dan Johnson's dilemma. Dan struggled with porn for over 20 years. After re-confessing to his wife, putting filters on all his devices, joining a community of other men, and seeing a certified sex addiction therapist, he was still not experiencing the freedom he was longing for. In this episode, Dan shares the specific strategy he used to finally outgrow porn.
Dan Johnson is a husband, a father, and the creator of The P.A.T.H. Plan and The New Paths Podcast. Dan is passionate about giving guys a practical, effective plan for the frontline of the porn struggle: how to handle and process the intense urge to watch porn.
Download the free PDF: newpaths.me/plan
Listen to the podcast: newpaths.me/podcast1
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever struggled with shame or self-contempt? In this episode, you'll learn the simple formula for healing shame through vulnerability and connection. You'll also hear a vulnerable, shame-filled part of my story I've never shared publicly.
What if shame is actually not a curse, but a clue to our hearts and what we really need?
Shame is a normal human emotion that shows us how much we care.
Instead of using shame as a weapon, let’s use it as a window into where we need to heal.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Touch is one of our most basic human needs. But many of us have been deprived. How can men outgrowing porn embrace healthy physical touch with each other—and prevent harm? Find out in this panel discussion with Certified Husband Material Coaches Drew Boa, Stephen Thomas, John Kilmer, and Mike Chapman.
You'll learn:
- the importance of safe touch for emotional and sexual development
- cultural differences in physical touch between men around the world
- rules about touch for members of the Husband Material Community
- how to keep yourself and others safe from unwanted touch
- why you need to listen to your body and trust your gut
- what to do if you get a connection erection (aka "broner")
- how to fill your "touch bucket" in a safe, healthy way
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
This episode answers unique questions for married men who have sexually acted out with gay porn or other men. You'll learn what partners go through, why transparency matters, and how we can pursue connection with other men while continuing to rebuild trust with our wives.
Tamara Lichfield provides support for women who have experienced betrayal trauma at Becoming Shatterproof LLC. Tamara has been trained by APSATS (Association of Partners Of Sex Addiction Treatment Specialists). She is a Certified Trauma-Informed Coach, a Certified Trauma Support Specialist, and a Certified Resilience Professional.
You can reach Tamara at becomingshatterproof@gmail.com
On Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/becomingshatterproof
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this workshop led by Drew Boa, you'll learn how to connect with your inner child like never before.
To complete the exercises, you will need:
- A piece of paper (digital documents will NOT work for this)
- 3 different crayons or colored pencils (if not, just use a pen)
- A posture of curiosity and willingness to try something new
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can we take action after relapse for growth and healingwithout using shame or punishment? After a porn relapse, what do appropriate consequences look like?
Nick Stumbo and Trevor Winsor are members of the Executive Team at Pure Desire Ministries. Together, they host the popular Pure Desire Podcast.
Free tools mentioned in this episode:
- Recovery Action Plan (for when a relapse has occurred)
- Escape Plan (for when we are triggered or tempted)
- Relapse Prevention Plan (for day-to-day life)
- The F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale (for self-awareness)
Register for the Pure Desire Summit at puredesire.org/summit!
Nick Stumbo is the Executive Director for Pure Desire. He has been in ministry leadership for over two decades. He was in pastoral ministry at East Hills Alliance Church in Kelso, Washington for 14 years. Nick has a Bachelor's in Pastoral Studies from Crown College, an MDiv from Bethel Seminary, and is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). He has authored two books, Setting Us Free and Safe: Creating a Culture of Grace in a Climate of Shame.
Trevor Winsor is the Marketing Director for Pure Desire. He has been in ministry leadership for 10 years. Trevor is a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). He has a Bachelor’s in Psychology from Corban University, a Master’s in Ministry & Leadership from Western Seminary, and is a licensed pastor. Trevor is passionate about integrating trauma and addiction healing with spiritual disciplines to produce holistic healing.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll hear the inspiring story of George Morning ("Coach G"). We talk about the challenges faced by black men and men of color in outgrowing porn—and how societal pressures, misconceptions, and the normalization of addiction intensify these challenges. Coach G highlights the importance of finding relatable support and the power of positive internal dialogue.
George Morning (Coach G) is a Certified Addiction Recovery Coach. After 30+ years as an addict and losing family, finances, and faith, Coach G sought recovery in 2013 with The Mindful Habit. Since then, Coach G has helped thousands of men and women overcome their addictions, create healthier relationships, and live passionate lives.
Check out Coach G's book: HabitLand (this is a paid link)
Email: habitlandcoach@gmail.com
Website: beyondhabitland.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, I'll share 7 things that shifted my sexual fetish to become less intense, less frequent, less disruptive, and less arousing. NOTE: I believe trying to alter sexual attraction is both unethical and unhelpful. My fetish has not been removed or replaced, and that is not my goal. Rather, my fetish lost its power through a series of shifts that took place as I pursued healing and freedom from porn through:
- Talking about the fetish
- Understanding the fetish
- Appreciating the fetish
- Acknowledging the fetish
- Completing the action
- Receiving the real thing
- Stopping the behavior
Related episodes:
- Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire
- The Secret Behind Sexual Fetishes
- How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
- Unwanted Sexual Attraction
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What does psychodrama actually look like? In this episode, Rick Carlson tells the amazing story of his psychodrama process at the Husband Material Leaders Retreat.
Register now for the upcoming Husband Material Retreat at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
The early bird discount ends on August 1st.
Rick Carlson is a Recovery Pastor, Life Coach, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at comebackcoaching.org
Dr. Doug Carpenter is an author, clinical psychologist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is psychodrama? How can it help men outgrow porn? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains why this powerful type of therapy creates profound healing experiences and accelerates freedom from porn.
Picture this: you're on stage. You're the protagonist in your own drama, undoing and redoing the story of your life. But you're not alone. Your director is attuning to you. Your auxiliaries (other actors) are supporting you by playing the roles you need them to play. Your audience members are witnessing your process as they share in your healing. You find yourself saying things you've never said, feeling things you've never felt, and doing things you've never done. That's what psychodrama allows you to do.
Dr. Doug introduces the basics of psychodrama as well as techniques like doubling, spiraling, role reversal, and using props. We talk about the need for creativity and spontaneity while staying sensitive to the Holy Spirit and the needs of each group member. We also marvel at the beauty of inviting Jesus into this process. At the end, you'll learn how we are incorporating psychodrama into Husband Material (both online and in-person) to help men heal and outgrow porn.
For online psychodrama:
Apply to join a Level 2 Husband Material Group (space is very limited)
For in-person psychodrama:
Register for the Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara! (September 8-12)
Dr. Doug Carpenter is an author, clinical psychologist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever pretended to be fine when you're really not? In this episode, Stephen Thomas explains "I'm Fine Syndrome"—what it is, why we struggle with it, and how to crush it. You'll learn the importance of honoring your wants and needs...and the power of being authentic. Admitting you're not fine is an act of bravery and the first step towards true freedom.
Stephen Thomas is a husband and father who has enjoyed freedom from porn and hookup culture for over 14 years. He is a Certified Husband Material Coach who provides coaching for individuals, couples, and groups. Stephen is passionate about seeing men who feel hopelessly buried by addictions come alive and realize the strength God has placed in them.
Learn more at stephenthomasconsulting.com
Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group
Facebook: facebook.com/stephenthomasconsulting
Email Stephen at stephen@stephenthomasconsulting.com
Text Stephen at 864-881-1749
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
"He said at 74, I am having the best sex of my life. At 74, my penis only occasionally shows up for the party. But I am still having the best sex of my life. I wish I had known in my thirties how to have this kind of sex."
What is sex ultimately about? How can married couples enjoy sex more? How do you deal with differences in sexual desire? In this episode, Dr. Michael Sytsma offers a robust theology of sexuality AND clinical wisdom on how to unlock arousal, increase intimacy, and have fun in the bedroom.
Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker. He has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and is the founder of Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founder of Sexual Wholeness, Inc.
Buy Mike's new book: Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make all the Difference (this is a paid link).
Learn more at secretsofsexandmarriage.com
*Join HMA this week only @ joinhma.com!***
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy (open this week only)
Thanks for listening!
Can masturbation ever be neutral or healthy? In this episode, I'll explore complex moral questions about masturbation. Together with a live audience, we'll analyze 10 situations you may have never considered before:
- A toddler touches his penis to feel pleasure
- A young boy learns to masturbate from his uncle
- A teenager masturbates to regulate his emotions
- A teenager masturbates while imagining a cheeseburger
- A single man committed to celibacy discovers "core-gasm"
- A single man who has never masturbated escapes purity culture
- A man masturbates without lust to try to wean himself off of porn
- A married man masturbates without his wife's knowledge or consent
- A man getting a vasectomy masturbates to obey his doctor's orders
- An elderly man massages his penis to warm up for sex with his wife
- A married man masturbates to connect with his disabled wife
You'll also hear insights about how to talk with children about masturbation, how to stop masturbating, and more.
Regardless of your particular view, this thought-provoking conversation will leave you with more curiosity, more compassion, less confusion, and less shame. Listen! You won't regret it.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is masturbation? How does it affect the brain? What does the Bible (not) say about it? What happens if I don't? In this episode, I'll share insights from neuroscience, the New Testament, and my own story of masturbation.
I've been researching this topic for the past 13 years...so I have a lot to share! You'll learn why myelination matters (even in masturbation without fantasy). You'll hear how masturbation combined with pornography has increased widespread erectile dysfunction (including in my life). You'll find out what happens if you don't masturbate (hint: you'll be okay). You'll also learn the difference between lustful intent and simply noticing an attractive person (what purity culture didn't teach you). Most importantly, you'll ask better questions and develop a more mature perspective on masturbation!
Come back next week for part 2 of this teaching.
Resources referenced:
- Your Brain Off Porn - podcast episode
- Supernormal Stimuli - educational comic
- How Pornography Harms - book (paid link)
- Porn Withdrawal Survival Guide - free ebook
- Brain Heart World - free documentary series
- C.S. Lewis on Masturbation - excerpt from a letter
Bible verses referenced:
- Matthew 5:27-28
- 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6a
- 1 Corinthians 6:12-20
Support the showTake the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Growing up between worlds, third culture kids face unique challenges in developing their identity and sense of belonging. Can these experiences create a higher risk of struggling with pornography? John Kilmer reveals the impact of moving during crucial developmental stages, and how unprocessed grief and loss can lead to unwanted sexual behavior. Through John's story, we discover the burden AND the beauty of being a third culture man.
John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He's a grateful follower of Jesus Christ who is passionate about men's inner healing work. As a child, John traveled the world as the son of missionaries. These early experiences deeply shaped his worldview, fostering curiosity and adventure. John lives with his wife and children at Deerhaven Farm and Retreat in the rural hills of northeastern Washington. He enjoys canoeing, photography, hiking, and leading men's healing groups, both at his property and online.
Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.
Book a discovery call with John here.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How do neuro differences like ADHD and autism relate to unwanted sexual behavior? How can embracing neurodiversity help us heal and outgrow porn? Candice Christiansen offers powerful perspectives and practical advice. This interview is delightful!
For neurodivergent individuals (and same or mixed neurotype couples) who are struggling, Candice is here to help you gain clarity to make your relationship, intimacy, and sex as enjoyable, wonderful, and pleasurable as possible!
Candice Christiansen is Autistic, ADHD, and a NeuroDifferent thought leader in the sexual recovery world. She is an "autism sexpert" who provides therapy and intimacy coaching to neurodivergent adults and mixed neurotype couples. Candice also provides EMDR and IFS therapy to complex trauma survivors with a variety of sex, relationship, and intimacy issues.
Candice is the founder of Namasté Center For Healing.
Learn more about Candice at candicechristiansen.com.
You can also email candice@namasteadvice.com.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Your Sexual Sensory Profile (free eBook by Candice Christiansen)
- Altogether Us (book with a chapter by Candice Christiansen)
- ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity (great YouTube video)
- Insight Timer (free meditation app)
- Unmasking Autism: Discovering The New Faces Of Neurodiversity (book)
- Divergent Mind: Thriving In A World Than Wasn't Designed For You (book)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever thought about confronting a parent, but you're not sure how? In this episode, you'll learn the right questions to ask yourself when considering why and how to confront your parent(s) with compassion.
Three important questions to ask:
- What happened (to them and to me)?
- How do I feel about what happened?
- What do I want going forward?
Recommended reading (paid link):
Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, by Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson
This week we are celebrating 200 episodes of Husband Material! 🎉
Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or rate the show on Spotify.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, my parents share the good and the bad of how they raised me, and how we are healing. It's a story of vulnerability, repentance, and redemption.
"All families have difficulties. If you bury them, you grow apart. If you get them on the table and solve them, then you can heal from that." —Sandy Boa
"Don't be afraid to go to the person and ask for forgiveness, because God's healing you and he's gonna heal the other person too. If you truly trust Him and you go with God, it's an amazing journey. Not easy but amazing." —Yvonne Boa
Yvonne and Sandy Boa are my parents.
This week we are celebrating 200 episodes of Husband Material! 🎉
A free way to support the show is by leaving a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. You can also rate Husband Material on Spotify. Tell me what you love about the show and let others know if they should listen or not.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What happens when you grow up in a family affected by sexual addiction? In this episode, Dr. Ken Adams reveals the burdens carried by adult children of sex addicts.
This conversation is especially helpful for those of us who inherited sexual shame from our parents. You'll learn why and how to release shame that has been passed down to you...and how to stop the cycle of generational trauma.
Dr. Ken Adams is a world-renowned therapist and expert on sexual addiction, shame, and enmeshment. Learn more at drkenadams.com
Buy the first-ever book for adult children of sex addicts (this is a paid link):
A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts by Kenneth Adams, Mary Meyer, and Culle Vande Garde
This week we are celebrating 200 episodes of Husband Material! 🎉
A free way to support the show is by leaving a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. You can also rate Husband Material on Spotify. Tell me what you love about the show and let others know if they should listen or not.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What does it mean to become husband material? In this episode, you'll learn the importance of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-leadership. Stay until the end for special appearances by 12 Husband Material Men!
New opportunities:
- HMA is reopening in July. Join the waitlist at joinhma.com
- Come to our retreat in Santa Barbara in September! Register now at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What does it mean to outgrow porn? Dr. Robert Masters unpacks this concept (which he created) with stunning depth and clarity.
Robert Augustus Masters is a psychotherapist, group leader, and relationship expert with a doctorate in psychology. His intuitive, uniquely integral work, developed over the past four decades, blends the psychological and physical with the emotional and spiritual.
Learn more at robertmasters.com.
Buy Robert's books (these are paid links):
- To Be a Man: A Guide To True Masculine Power
- Bringing Your Shadow Out of the Dark
- Spiritual Bypassing
- Emotional Intimacy
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is emotional abuse? Dr. Jake Porter explains how to identify emotional abuse, heal from it, and stop emotionally abusing others.
Dr. Jake Porter is a Board Certified Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, and the Founder of Daring Ventures. He is also the creator of Couple–Centered Recovery, a model for overcoming attachment wounds in couples experiencing the trauma of betrayal.
Connect with Jake at drjakeporter.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What do I do with my sexual energy—especially if I'm single? In this episode, you'll learn the two types of sexual energy, why singleness can feel like a curse, and God’s good design for sexuality in singleness. You'll also hear real life examples of Christian men directing their sexual energy into deeper connection, pleasure, and creativity.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- God & Sex (sermon series from Reality San Fransisco featuring Dave Lomas)
- Finding Intimacy And Community As A Celibate Gay Christian (podcast and video by Preston Sprinkle featuring Art Pereira)
- Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance In The Age Of Indulgence (book by Anna Lembke; paid link)
- The Lord Will Fight For You (song written by Drew Boa, performed by Husband Material Men)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll learn why healing must happen in your body. Andrew Bauman reveals why talk therapy is not enough, what "the body keeps the score" actually means, how to use the body to outgrow porn and real-life examples of embodied healing. This interview is awesome!
Andrew Bauman is the founder & director of the Christian Counseling Center: For Sexual Health & Trauma (CCC). Andrew is an author and licensed mental health counselor with a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology from The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology.
Buy any of Andrew's books (these are paid links):
- Stumbling Towards Wholeness
- The Psychology Of Porn
- The Sexually Healthy Man
- How Not To Be An *ss
Also mentioned in this episode:
The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, And Body In The Healing Of Trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk
Interested in healing? Sign up for the upcoming virtual retreat with Andrew Bauman: Becoming Husband Material (May 5-7)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this extended episode, you'll hear 8 dramatized examples of mistakes men make while relating to women they have sexually betrayed and traumatized. You'll learn how to offer validation, own your impact, build your confidence, and be proactive. This session from The Porn Free Man Conference will show you exactly what (not) to do to help her heal.
Dr. Eddie Capparucci is an author and therapist who specializes in the treatment of sex and porn addiction. He's also the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP).
Resources mentioned in this episode (including paid links):
- Why Men Struggle To Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots, by Eddie Capparucci
- Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook For Sex Addicts To Help Their Partners Heal, by Carol Juergensen Sheets and Alan Katz
- The Porn Free Man Conference 2023 (recordings of all sessions)
- Husband Material Virtual Retreat on May 5-7 featuring Andrew Bauman!
Sign up now at husbandmaterial.com/becoming-husband-material
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll learn 2 ways to define pornography, 6 pornographic styles of relating, and what it means to be sexually healthy and mature.
Resources mentioned by Andrew Bauman:
- A Pornographic Style of Relating (article)
- What Is A Sexually Healthy Man? (article)
- The Psychology of Porn (book; paid link)
- The Sexually Healthy Man (book; paid link)
Sign up for the Husband Material Virtual Retreat on May 5-7 featuring Andrew Bauman!
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll learn what spiritual abuse is and how to heal from it. Chris Inman tells his story of being spiritual abused as a boy and how it has affected him into adulthood.
Chris Inman is the creator and facilitator of Porn Free Masculinity, an online intensive recovery program for men struggling with porn and compulsive sexual behavior. He invites men to consider how the blessings and trauma of their stories have curated their unwanted sexual brokenness. Chris helps men transform their addiction into abundance through story work and facilitating healthy recovery practices in a group dynamic. Professionally, Chris is a Certified Professional Recovery Coach (CPRC), a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP), and an Unwanted Certified Guide. He spent 15 years in vocational ministry as a youth pastor and currently serves as a Local Elder at the People of Mars Hill in Mobile, AL.
Learn more at pornfreemasculinity.com
Email Chris at chris@pornfreemasculinity.com
Resources mentioned (including paid links):
- Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church by Dr. Diane Langberg
- Spiritual Abuse Podcast Series by The Allender Center
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can bullying contribute to same-sex attraction? Jordan Castille tells his story of being bullied, how that impacted his sexual development, and how Jesus brought him healing and freedom from gay porn.
Jordan Castille is a Board Certified Christian Counselor, Sex Addiction Specialist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He and his wife Cherise have two boys. Jordan loves Jesus, people, video games, working out, learning how to fix things, legos, and his church community. Jordan also does one-on-one coaching and small group coaching within the Husband Material Community.
- Email Jordan at jordan@castillecoaching.com
- Sign up for a free 30 minute session with Jordan: https://calendly.com/jtcastille/30min
- Learn more about Transformation Prayer
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, Dr. Peter Malinoski guides Drew Boa through the process of unburdening sexual arousal using the internal family systems model (IFS). This type of healing experience can bring tremendous freedom from porn and unwanted sexual behavior.
Disclaimer: This is what we call a demo, which is short for a demonstration. Demos are a common way for IFS therapists to practice with each other and to show others what IFS is like. Demos are not therapy or counseling. In sharing this demo, we are not trying to teach people how to do IFS on themselves or others, but rather demonstrating what the IFS model can look like in action. Unburdening protocols are taught in formal IFS Level 1 training from the IFS Institute. IFS Level 1 training is required to do unburdening protocols and to be called an IFS therapist.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Malinoski is president of Souls and Hearts and host of Interior Integration for Catholics, a podcast helping Catholics embrace their identities as beloved sons and daughters of God. Peter specifically addresses the topics of freedom from porn and masturbation in episodes 51-56 of his podcast. Contact Peter here.
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll be guided through an exercise using the internal family systems model (IFS). Dr. Peter Malinoski demonstrates how to connect with your "parts"—including parts that might be attached to porn and unwanted sexual behavior.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Malinoski is president of Souls and Hearts and host of Interior Integration for Catholics, a podcast helping Catholics embrace their identities as beloved sons and daughters of God. Peter specifically addresses the topics of freedom from porn and masturbation in episodes 51-56 of his podcast. Contact Peter here.
More IFS meditations:
- Healing Addiction
- Healing Betrayal Trauma
- Morning IFS Parts Check In
- Divine Comfort For A Hurting Part
- Calming Triggers With Internal Family Systems
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll learn why healing experiences are essential for outgrowing porn. Dr. Peter Malinoski explains how the internal family systems model (IFS) can help us heal by meeting the five attachment needs we all have.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Malinoski is president of Souls and Hearts and host of Interior Integration for Catholics, a podcast helping Catholics embrace their identities as beloved sons and daughters of God. Peter specifically addresses the topics of freedom from porn and masturbation in episodes 51-56 of his podcast. Contact Peter here.
Five Attachment Needs:
- A felt sense of safety and protection
- A felt sense of being seen, heard, known, and understood (attunement)
- A felt sense of being comforted, calmed, and reassured (soothing)
- A felt sense of being valued, cherished, and treasured (expressed delight)
- A felt sense of being supported in becoming one’s own unique best self
(from Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - this is a paid link)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you ever wondered how much your crush, girlfriend, fiancée, or wife needs to know about your relationship with porn? In this episode, you'll learn the appropriate level of detail to share when you're single, dating, engaged, or married. This episode is challenging and necessary.
✅ Free document: Resources For Partners Of Husband Material MenDownload other free documents at husbandmaterial.com/documents
Further reading on therapeutic full disclosure (including paid links):
- What's A Therapeutic Full Disclosure?, by Dr. Sheri Keffer
- Formal Therapeutic Disclosure, by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
- Therapeutic Full Disclosure: How It Can Help Your Marriage Heal, by Ella Hutchinson
- Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal (3 Book Series), by Janice Caudill and Dan Drake
NOTE: "If you are a partner, you have a right to request a formal therapeutic full disclosure. You also have a right not to receive a disclosure if you don’t want one." —Vicki Tidwell Palmer
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
If you were exposed to porn at a young age, this episode is for you. Award-winning filmmaker Benji Nolot explains why children are not voluntary consumers of porn, and why self-compassion is essential for healing. You'll get a powerful glimpse into the humanity and vulnerability of men and women on both sides of the screen.
Benji Nolot is committed to the abolition of modern-day slavery by campaigning to shift cultural mindsets and laws that would abolish commercial sexual exploitation. He founded Exodus Cry in 2008 after being inspired by the life of William Wilberforce. In everything he does, Benji is driven by a conviction that every person should be free.
How you can be part of the solution:
- Sign the petition: Traffickinghub
- Watch Nefarious: Merchant Of Souls
- Watch Raised On Porn: The New Sex Ed
- Sign the petition: Protect Children, Not Porn
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll learn four ways pornography fuels sex trafficking...and what we can do about it. Award-winning filmmaker Benji Nolot reveals what goes on behind the scenes of pornography.
Benji Nolot is committed to the abolition of modern-day slavery by campaigning to shift cultural mindsets and laws that would abolish commercial sexual exploitation. He founded Exodus Cry in 2008 after being inspired by the life of William Wilberforce. In everything he does, Benji is driven by a conviction that every person should be free.
How you can be part of the solution:
- Sign the petition: Traffickinghub
- Watch Nefarious: Merchant Of Souls
- Watch Raised On Porn: The New Sex Ed
- Sign the petition: Protect Children, Not Porn
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, you'll learn two concepts that can give you less shame and more hope on your journey of outgrowing porn.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Sexual Fluidity in Males and Females by Lisa Diamond
- The Porn Free Man 2023 Conference (now available)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, Rich Wyler answers tough questions with curiosity, compassion, and courage. You'll learn what it looks like to work through internal conflict around sexual arousal and personal beliefs. You'll also learn why unconditional love and acceptance is our starting point.
Rich Wyler is the founder of Brothers on a Road Less Traveled (“Brothers Road”), a non-profit, multi-faith, international fellowship of men. Brothers Road is primarily for men from bisexual and same-sex attracted backgrounds who do not identify with the label “gay” and prefer instead to explore and address underlying issues.
In 2002, Rich created the powerful Journey Into Manhood experiential personal-growth weekend. Rich holds a bachelor’s degree in corporate communications and a certification in life coaching from Coach Training Alliance.
Connect with Rich:
- Brothers Road
- Journey Into Manhood
- A New Man Retreat
- Higher Path Coaching
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What habits are most helpful for healing and outgrowing porn? In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau presents a beautiful menu of ideas to transform habits without pressure, perfectionism, or "shoulding" all over yourself in 2023.
Shawn Bonneteau is a Christian pornography recovery coach and podcast host at Secret Habit. After quitting porn in the summer of 2017, he has spent his life pursuing God's call to transform relationships through coaching men to find freedom from porn. Shawn is a certified Husband Material coach, certified sexual addictions mentor and an inner child recovery specialist. He spends the majority of his time coaching men all over the globe in both 1-on-1 and group settings. He has a deep passion for speaking and has had the privilege to share with tens of thousands of men and women on the topics of porn addiction, masturbation and erectile dysfunction over the past 4 years. Shawn lives in Halifax, Canada with his wife Helena and daughter Violet. In his spare time he loves to watch hockey, play the drums and watch a good mindbender from Christopher Nolan.
Resources by Shawn:
- Secret Habit Podcast
- Secret Habit Community
- Free Recovery Navigator Call
Mentioned in this episode:
- The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction (interview with Shawn Bonneteau)
- The Ruthless Elimination Of Hurry by John Mark Comer (paid link)
- Man Cards: Conversation Starters For Men by Husband Material
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
In this episode, I'll recommend 3 resources to help you outgrow porn in 2023. Stay til the end to hear a big announcement about HMA (the doors are closing).
As promised, here are my top 5 episodes of Husband Material:
- How To Outgrow Porn
- Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire
- How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
- Why Attachment Is The Key To Healing
- How To Heal Your Inner Child
Register now for The Porn Free Man 2023 Online Conference on January 6-7, 2023.
Get your free pass at thepornfreeman.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
How can I help my partner heal? When she is "throwing rocks" at me, what can I do? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci shares 10 rules for healthy interaction with your grieving partner:
10 Rules:
1. No Explaining
2. No Surprises
3. Validation, Not Defensiveness
4. Don’t Wilt (Be Confident)
5. Don’t Let Your Inner Child Speak To Your Partner
6. See Her Pain
7. Walk Into The Fire
8. Communicate Before Going Out In Public
9. Own Your Impact, Not Just Your Intentions
10. Prepare Yourself Every Morning
Dr. Eddie Capparucci is an author and therapist who specializes in the treatment of sex and porn addiction. He's also the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP).
Buy Eddie's latest book (this is a paid link):
Why Men Struggle To Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots
Eddie will be speaking at The Porn Free Man Online Conference on January 6-7, 2023. Register now at thepornfreeman.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What's the difference between emotional health and emotional fitness? Why does it matter? In this episode, Sathiya Sam explains what emotional fitness looks like and how you can leverage the added stress of the holiday season to become stronger.
Sathiya Sam is an entrepreneur with a passion to see people’s lives transformed. DeepClean, a program that helps men overcome pornography addiction, is Sathiya's most recent work to date. His proven process for freedom has helped everyone from college students to medical doctors regain control of their lives. He is married to his lovely wife Shaloma and based out of Toronto, Canada.
Listen to Sathiya's daily podcast: Unleash The Man Within
Connect with Sathiya on Instagram @sathiyamesam
Sathiya will be speaking at The Porn Free Man Online Conference on January 6-7, 2023. Register now at thepornfreeman.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What does it take to unlock a woman's sexual pleasure? Dr. Keith Gregoire explains how sex actually works, why we need to redefine sex, and how men can become better lovers.
Keith Gregoire is a pediatrician who is passionate about building great marriages and equipping couples to parent well. He is co-author (along with his wife, Sheila Wray Gregoire) of "The Good Guys Guide to Great Sex." Together, they have been speaking to couples around the world for over fifteen years, providing healthy, evidence-based, biblical advice for your marriage and sex life.
Excellent books by the Gregoires (these are paid links):
- The Good Guy's Guide To Great Sex
- The Good Girl's Guide To Great Sex
- The Great Sex Rescue
Learn more at baremarriage.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What is a real man? Dr. Joe Martin exposes the lies we believe about our value as men, in contrast to the example of authentic manhood set by Jesus Christ.
Wrong perceptions of manhood (what society says):
- Occupation
- Compensation
- Education
- Reputation
- Intimidation
Authentic manhood is determined by:
- Leading spiritually
- Rejecting passivity
- Loving and serving sacrificially
Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, educator, and certified builder of men. He’s the author of nine books and the host of Real Men Connect, the top-rated podcast for Christian men. Learn more at realmenconnect.com
Dr. Joe will be speaking at The Porn Free Man Online Conference on January 6-7, 2023. Register now at thepornfreeman.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Have you been sexually attracted to yourself, or someone just like you? In this episode, you'll learn three types of self-attraction, my own personal story, and what to do if you are sexually attracted to yourself.
Come to my workshop "What Do I Do With My Sexual Attractions?" at The Porn Free Man online conference on January 6-7, 2023. It's free. Register now at thepornfreeman.com
Here's the Seinfeld clip I quoted: "Falling in love with someone who's just like you" - https://youtu.be/NVDT1ARABvE
Related Husband Material episodes:
- Unwanted Sexual Attraction
- Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire
- How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
- The Secret Behind Sexual Fetishes
- What Should I Do With My Sexual Desires?
Also check out my free video series with Jay Stringer, The Sexual Fantasy Framework: sexualfantasyframework.com
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast—please leave a review!
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 2: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 3: Try the all-in-one solution: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
What's it like to be a male survivor of sexual abuse? In our very first community-based episode, Husband Material men tell their stories of sexual abuse. You'll learn how to respond appropriately to the needs of male survivors.
Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of our community sub-group for survivors of sexual abuse. Contact Mike at polarlifeconsulting@gmail.com
Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author, and moderator in the Husband Material Community. Contact Doug at douglascarpenter.com/contact
Jordan, Chris, Kevin, Daniel, "Chaz," and Roger are all members of the Husband Material Community.
Resources mentioned:
- 1in6.org - helpful website
- No Longer Ashamed - podcast for survivors
- What Is CSA Normal? - free document by Mike Chapman
- Healing From Sexual Abuse - course by Dr. Doug Carpenter
- Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development - book by Dr. Doug Carpenter (paid link)
- Husband Material Coaching - get professional help to heal
Husband Material episodes about sexual abuse:
- Was I Sexually Abused? (interview with Dr. Doug Carpenter)
- Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire (interview with Dr. Doug Carpenter)
- Healing From Sexual Abuse, Part 1 (interview with Mike Chapman)
- Healing From Sexual Abuse, Part 2 (interview with Mike Chapman)
- Porn As Re-Enactment Of Sexual Abuse (interview with Wendell Moss)
- Rags To Riches To Ruin To Redemption(interview with Dr. Joe Martin)
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Listen to this podcast—please leave a review!
- Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
- Step 2: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 3: Try the all-in-one solution: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Is there really a boy inside every man? What does "healing the boy" practically look like? Chris Bruno delightfully demonstrates how to find your younger self and bring him home. This interview is amazing! You'll come away with greater awareness, curiosity, kindness, and healing.
Chris Bruno is the Co-Founder and CEO of Restoration Project, and Founder of ReStory Counseling, devoting his life to helping people come alive. He is a licensed professional counselor who has decades of experience helping men recover their hearts.
Buy Chris' new book (this is a paid link):
Sage: A Man's Guide Into His Second Passage
Other books by Chris Bruno:
- Man Maker Project: A Father's Guide to Initiating His Son into Manhood
- Brotherhood Primer: A Journey Into Genuine Masculine Friendships
- Free Downloads For Intentional Fatherhood And Brotherhood
- Healing Father Wounds (HM interview, March 2021)
Take the free assessment:
Midlife Tremors of a Man's Journey
It's No Porn November! Take the new 21-day email course by Drew Boa at husbandmaterial.com/november
Take the Husband Material Journey...
- Step 1: Join the free private Husband Material Community
- Step 2: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
- Step 3: Try the all-in-one solution: Husband Material Academy
Thanks for listening!
Outgrowing porn is not easy. The process is often messy and prolonged. That's why some men have found value in writing a formal break-up letter to pornography. This episode will give you a simple structure to write your own break-up letter. You can also use this structure to break up with an abusive partner or any other unwanted sexual behavior, fantasy, or attachment.
Download the free PDF worksheet: How To Break Up With Porn
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co
It's No Porn November! Take the new 21-day email course by Drew Boa at husbandmaterial.com/november
"Our most vital relational need is to be emotionally safe...we cannot truly connect with anyone if we don't feel safe in their presence." —Alex Avila
But what is emotional safety, exactly? How can you tell if a person or relationship is safe or unsafe? Christian therapist Alex Avila explains what it looks like to protect our hearts while giving and receiving "safer love."
SAFER LOVE:
S = Slow and soft
A = Appreciation
F = Feelings
E = Empathy
R = Responsibility
L = Listening
O = Openness
V = Validation
E = Empowerment
Alex A. Avila is a licensed professional counselor and certified sex addiction therapist who meets with men, women and couples to help them overcome trauma, connect emotionally in their relationships, and rewrite their sexual scripts. Alex also facilitates couple’s workshops and couple therapy intensives, men’s sexual recovery groups, and online relationship classes.
Learn more about Alex at alexaavila.com
Join our Live Q&A with Alex on November 8, 2022 inside the Husband Material Community
Buy one of Alex's books (these are paid links):
- Emotional Safety: Honoring Yourself While Creating Trust and Presence to Experience Meaningful Relationships
- 40 Forms of Intimacy: Integrating Daily Connection Into Your Couple Relationship
"Your failure in sexuality is what qualifies you to talk to your son about sex in the first place." In this fascinating episode, a father and son tell their story of learning to talk about emotions and sex together. John and Lucas Fort explain what does(n't) work, what's (not) appropriate, and why imperfection is necessary for connection.
Buy John and Lucas's book (this is a paid link):
Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationship
John Fort serves as Director of Training for Be Broken Ministries, where he helps men, women, and families move from sexual brokenness to wholeness in Christ. John is a co-founder of the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit. John has authored or co-authored ten books, including Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationship.
Lucas Fort grew up talking to his parents (especially his father) about personal topics like feelings and sexuality. He uses what he’s learned to help parents and their children better understand each other while navigating the topics of sex and pornography.
John and Lucas live close to Portland, Oregon.
Anti-porn accountability software has come under scrutiny after an article in WIRED Magazine described Covenant Eyes as "shameware" and "just another way the church controls you.” In this episode, you'll hear what's going on, what I think about accountability software, and how to decide if it's right for you.
Article in WIRED Magazine: The Ungodly Surveillance of Anti-Porn ‘Shameware’ Apps
My top recommendation for accountability software: Covenant Eyes
For those of you who use accountability software:
“If your CovenantEyes or Accountable2You apps are acting funny as of late, there is a very likely reason! Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You were removed from the Google Play Store, and there's a chance your services may have been disrupted. If that's the case, check your email for instructions they have sent to get your software active again and working (there is a workaround which may include reinstalling or activating from their websites). So far this has affected Android users. It's still unclear what repercussions this may have for iPhone/iOS users. So please be watchful. Stand strong, courageous men, and don't allow any software glitches to affect you on your journey to outgrow porn!” —Kolton Thomas, founder of Reclaimed Recovery
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co
Rick Carlson spent years running from pain, hiding from others, and hating God... until everything changed. In this episode, Rick shares his story of prenatal trauma, physical differences, self-hatred, substance abuse, porn use, and his healing journey over the past 12 years.
"Your greatest pain can become your greatest purpose." —Rick Carlson
Rick Carlson is the founder of Comeback Coaching. As a Certified Husband Material Coach, Life Coach, and Pastor, Rick is passionate about walking with men who feel left behind or believe they are less valued. Rick specializes in coaching men who are overcoming various addictions. Rick's faith-based approach offers compassion for men to discover the deeper reasons for their struggles and outgrow unwanted sexual behaviors. His goals are to help men know that they matter and provide an opportunity for healing. Rick loves to see men make a comeback!
"Rick has helped me reframe and understand my porn use and compulsive sexual behavior
not as the main problem, but as a pacifier, helping me get to the root issue that is underneath. He is real, relatable, and wise, and is willing to challenge you in the best possible way." —Daniel
Schedule a free coaching session with Rick Carlson here
Contact Rick at rickcarlson2020@gmail.com
Learn more at comebackcoaching.org
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Do you know what it's like to struggle with depression or anxiety in addition to porn? Ben Bennett does; he has also experienced years of freedom. In this episode, Ben unpacks how mental health challenges and unwanted sexual behavior are related. Using a mix of science and Scripture, he also highlights the path to healing. This episode is important!
Ben Bennett is an author, podcast host, and speaker with Josh McDowell Ministry as the Director of Resolution Movement–a global movement helping people overcome hurts and struggles and thrive in life. Ben helps individuals young and old understand and work through the underlying factors driving the unhealthy patterns in their lives.
Buy Ben's book, co-authored with Josh McDowell (this is a paid link):
Free To Thrive: How Your Hurt, Struggles, And Deepest Longings Can Lead To A Fulfilling Life
Connect with Ben on Instagram @benvbennett
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Listen to my sermon about embodied brotherhood from the recent Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara.
Psalm 133 (NIV 1984)
"How good and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in unity!
It is like precious oil poured on the head,
running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron's beard,
down upon the collar of his robes.
It is as if the dew of Hermon
were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore."
The Beauty Of Brotherhood
Sermon on Psalm 133 by Drew Boa
Sunday, September 11th, 2022
- Embodied brotherhood is precious & rare
- Embodied brotherhood is powerful & refreshing
- Embodied brotherhood is eternal
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Marnie Ferree understands sex addiction from both sides: from personal experience, and from being a partner. In this episode, Marnie shares her story of grief and growth after discovering her own sexual betrayal trauma.
Marnie Ferree is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Nashville, Tennessee, where she directs Bethesda Workshops, which provides Christian-based treatment for sex addicts, their partners, couples, and teens affected by sexual addiction. Learn more at bethesdaworkshops.org.
Buy Marnie's books here (these are paid links):
- Out Of The Doghouse For Christian Men: A Redemptive Guide For Men Caught Cheating(co-authored with Dr. Rob Weiss)
- No Stones: Women Redeemed From Sexual Addiction
What is intimate deception betrayal trauma? Why is it so hard for partners of porn users to get help? When it comes to healing, what (doesn't) work? Dr. Sheri Keffer explains how porn impacts partners—and more importantly, what we can do about it. She even guides you on how to share this episode with your wife or girlfriend without triggering her. If you're married, your wife will love hearing from Dr. Sheri!
Dr. Sheri Keffer is the author of Intimate Deception (paid link) and a regular cohost of New Life Live! with an audience of more than two million people each week. For over twenty years, she’s worked as a Doctor of Marriage and Family therapy in Newport Beach, California. Through her own personal story of recovery, Dr. Sheri understands the trauma symptoms often associated with sexual betrayal. As a Certified Partner Trauma Therapist Supervisor (CPTT-S), Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and a Consultant in EMDR, she brings new tools and a fresh look at what’s needed not only to heal but heal well. Dr. Sheri also holds a degree in theology from Fuller Theological Seminary. You can follow her on social media on Instagram or Facebook @drsherikeffer.
Have you been impacted by sexual betrayal?
Take Dr. Sheri's quiz: braveone.com/takethequiz
Buy Dr. Sheri's award-winning book (this is a paid link):
Intimate Deception: Healing The Wounds Of Sexual Betrayal
For A Limited Time
Check out Dr. Sheri's BraveOne Community for women healing from intimate deception betrayal trauma.
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Attunement is the ability to be aware of and respond to another person's needs—and our own needs, too. In this episode, you'll learn the building blocks of good attunement, why over-attunement is unhelpful and exhausting, and how to practically sharpen your attunement skills and improve your relationships.
How Husband Material can help:
- Receive attunement from a Husband Material Coach
- Observe attunement in Husband Material Academy
- Practice attunement in a Husband Material Group
Celebrating 250K downloads of the Husband Material Podcast! Please join me in promoting the show by writing a review on Apple Podcasts or giving a quick rating on Spotify!
What does redemption look like for men who experience unwanted same-sex attraction? Harrison Bly grew up "too gay to be Christian, too Christian to be gay." In this episode, Harrison shares his story of freedom through vulnerability, sonship, brotherhood, and redefining masculinity.
Harrison Bly writes with a firm and unusual resolve about male sexuality. He uses story as a way to make sense of taboo subjects that are often over-simplified and misunderstood. Secretly gay in a conservative Christian world, Harrison compromised authenticity only to find shallow acceptance. On the crooked path to manhood, Harrison fumbled in the dark between ideologies on faith and homosexuality that failed to acknowledge his deepest wounds and longings. But through unplanned and unlikely relationships, Harrison discovered the transforming power of male love that reframed his obsessions, cravings, and curiosities, challenging everything he had come to accept about his masculinity and sexuality.
Buy Harrison's book here (this is a paid link):
Bent On Men: A Memoir On Taboo Feelings, Fraternal Curiosity, And Faith
Learn more at bentonmen.com
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co
What does it look like to untangle unwanted same-sex attraction toward men? Harrison Bly grew up "too gay to be Christian, too Christian to be gay." In this episode, Harrison shares vulnerable stories from boyhood that shed light on why and how he sexualized masculinity.
Harrison Bly writes with a firm and unusual resolve about male sexuality. He uses story as a way to make sense of taboo subjects that are often over-simplified and misunderstood. Secretly gay in a conservative Christian world, Harrison compromised authenticity only to find shallow acceptance. On the crooked path to manhood, Harrison fumbled in the dark between ideologies on faith and homosexuality that failed to acknowledge his deepest wounds and longings. But through unplanned and unlikely relationships, Harrison discovered the transforming power of male love that reframed his obsessions, cravings, and curiosities, challenging everything he had come to accept about his masculinity and sexuality.
Buy Harrison's book here (this is a paid link):
Bent On Men: A Memoir On Taboo Feelings, Fraternal Curiosity, And Faith
Learn more at bentonmen.com
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.co
The word "purity" must be defined without the damaging messages of purity culture. In this episode, I'll explain 3 types of purity in the Bible. I'll also share a vulnerable story about my own lack of purity. Then at the end, I'll answer questions and clarify the true meaning of purity.
Free resources mentioned in this episode:
- Holiness - The Bible Project
- Five Failures Of Purity Culture
- Why Didn't I Like Vaginas?
- How To Measure Freedom From Porn
- What To Do When You See Attractive People
- How To Outgrow Porn (Intro To HMA)
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co/
How do you discover the deeper roots underneath surface-level sexual symptoms? Josh Glaser guides us in "tracking the heart," revealing where unwanted thoughts, feelings, and behaviors come from.
Josh Glaser is the Executive Director of Regeneration, a Christ-centered ministry equipping men and women to live God’s good, holy, and beautiful design for relationships and sexuality. He is the creator of Awaken, an online community and 48-week discipleship series for men pursuing sexual integrity.
Listen to Josh's podcast:
The Becoming Whole Podcast
Buy Josh's book (this is a paid link):
Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field Guide for Parents
Connect with Josh and his team of coaches:
regenerationministries.org/mens-coaching
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
What should sex education look like in today's world? Adam and Karissa King explain why parents must teach children about sexuality from a young age—and how to make these conversations easy, effective, and even fun.
Adam + Karissa King are a licensed coach/therapist team and the founders of Dear Young Married Couple. They understand the pressure Christian parents feel to give their kids a godly understanding of sexuality. That's why they partnered with Korena Hendryx (a biology teacher and sex education expert) to create Having the TalkS: A Guided Conversation Game On Sexuality For Parents And Children.
More resources by Adam + Karissa:
Having The TalkS (because one just isn't enough)
The TalkS Resource Guide (recommended books)
Dear Young Married Couple Website
Dear Young Married Couple Podcast
Dear Young Married Couple Instagram
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Are you frustrated by internal conflict? Tired of being overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings? Kim Miller explains a Christ-centered approach to internal family systems (IFS). You'll learn the 5 steps of "taking a you-turn" so every part of you can encounter Jesus and be led by your Spirit-led self.
Kim Miller (MTh, LMFT) is a speaker, retreat leader, and co-author of Boundaries For Your Soul. She’s certified in Internal Family Systems Therapy and Imago Relationship Therapy.
Buy Kim's book (this is a paid link):
Boundaries For Your Soul: How To Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts And Feelings Into Your Greatest Allies
Download the free worksheet: Taking A You-Turn (5 Steps)
Learn more about Kim at kimberlyjunemiller.com
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
N is for Ninety Days
O is for Outgrow
P is for Plasticity
Q is for Questions
R is for Redemptive Risk
S is for Supernormal Stimuli
T is for Trauma & Traumasexuality
U is for Unwanted & Unwanted Workbook
V is for Vagus Nerve & Polyvagal Theory
W is for Worship (special playlist)
X is for Ex- (example breakup letter)
Y is for Yes!
Z is for Zero
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
In this episode, you'll learn 13 key concepts for outgrowing porn based on the first 13 letters of the alphabet. Check out the list below for further information about each key concept (including paid links):
A is for Alexithymia
B is for Breathing
C is for Co-regulation
D is for Dopamine
E is for Eroticized
F is for Fathering
G is for Group
H is for Holistic
I is for IFS
J is for Journey
K is for Knowledge
L is for Lust & Love
M is for Mindfulness
Next week, I'll cover the second half of the alphabet!
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.co
How do I know if I was neglected? And what can I do about it? Stephen Thomas unpacks 6 types of neglect, why neglect fuels shame and addiction, and what we can do as we recognize ways we have been neglected.
Stephen Thomas is a husband and father who has enjoyed freedom from porn and hookup culture for over 13 years. He is a Certified Husband Material Coach who provides coaching for individuals, couples, and groups. Stephen is passionate about seeing men who feel hopelessly buried by addictions come alive and realize the strength God has placed in them.
Contact Stephen Thomas:
Website: stephenthomasconsulting.com
Email: Stephen@stephenthomasconsulting.com
Phone: (847) 863-3106
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Heartache has a pattern, and so does healing. Author and therapist Cathy Loerzel explains the 3 types of heartache, and a powerful path to healing for each one. Learn how your past has uniquely prepared you to experience more joy.
Cathy Loerzel founded the Allender Center with Dr. Dan Allender in 2010.
Together with Dan, she is the co-author of Redeeming Heartache: How Past Suffering Reveals True Calling (this is a paid link).
Connect with Cathy at cathyloerzel.com.
What is intimacy? How can I find it? Most intimacy is not sexual. Most intimacy is spiritual, social, emotional, mental, and physical. Learn why each type of intimacy matters, and how to experience each one without sex or porn.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Man Cards, by Drew Boa and Henry Brown
- The Feeling Wheel, by Gloria Wilcox
- The Eight Feelings, by Chip Dodd
- Husband Material Community
Men are lonely. How can we develop deeper friendships? Introducing "Man Cards," a card deck of conversation starters for men. In this episode, Henry Brown and Drew Boa introduce Man Cards and show you how to use them.
Get your Man Cards at getyourmancards.com
Man Cards make it easier for men to go deep. Inside are 52 questions of varying levels of vulnerability to help you and the men around you be fully known. Cards are ranked, so men can choose how deep they want to go. Man Cards are perfect for small groups, road trips, or everyday conversations. Use them to improve your communication skills, get to know other men, and have fun while doing it! Stop hiding from others. Reveal the real you. Get your Man Cards!
Get your Man Cards at getyourmancards.com
Henry Brown is a ministry leader, AFOL (Adult Fan Of Lego), and moderator for the Husband Material Community.
Resources mentioned in this episode (including paid links):
- Man Cards: Conversation Starters For Men
- Sathiya Sam & Deep Clean
- The Beauty Of Elephant Seals
- The Five Love Languages
- Unwanted, by Jay Stringer
- Unwanted Workbook, by Jay Stringer with Drew Boa
Get your Man Cards at getyourmancards.com
You'll never outgrow porn if you believe it's the problem. In this episode, Matt Dobschuetz explains why porn is a solution, and the surprising reason why one particular type of porn has appealed to him. This man overflows with kindness and hope!
Matt Dobschuetz is the host of Porn Free Radio, the top-rated podcast for motivated guys who want to quit looking at porn. Matt is a diehard Chicago Bears fan, a coffee enthusiast, and a lover of old-school hip hop. To learn more, visit Matt at recoveredman.com.
Buy Matt's new book here (this is a paid link):
Porn Free: Becoming The Type Of Man Who Does Not Look At PornJoin our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Do you ever wish your friends lived closer? In today's world, long distance friendship is more possible and pervasive than ever. What are the blessings and drawbacks of this? In this episode, Husband Material coaches talk about how to maximize authentic connection, both long distance and locally.
Join us for a weekend of beauty and brotherhood at the Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara (September 9-13, 2022). Sign up for the "Early Bird Discount" before July 9th to receive $150 off at husbandmaterial.com/retreat.
What is emotional maturity? How can we increase our emotional intelligence? In this episode, Dr. Eddie Capparucci explains the three components of emotional maturity, why men struggle to love, and what we can do about it.
Dr. Eddie Capparucci is an author and therapist who specializes in the treatment of sex and porn addiction. He's the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP) and the author of a new book: Why Men Struggle To Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots.
More resources by Dr. Eddie Capparucci (these are paid links):
- Healing The Inner Child (Husband Material video course for Christian men)
- Removing Your Shame Label: Learning To Break From Shame And Feel God's Love
- Going Deeper: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction
- Also check out Eddie and Drew's Going Deeper Workbook
- Learn more at innerchild-sexaddiction.com
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
What is the difference between sexual arousal and sexual desire, and why does it matter? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter powerfully explains this concept and why it is absolutely essential for outgrowing porn.
This episode is taken from our new course on Healing From Sexual Abuse.
Learn more at husbandmaterial.com/healing-from-sexual-abuse
Related episodes:
- How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
- What Should I Do With My Sexual Desires?
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Let me help you decide if “counting the days” is right for you. In this episode, you'll learn 2 bad reasons to count, 3 good reasons to count, and what works for me...
2 bad reasons: Legalism & License
3 good reasons: Celebration, Compassion, & Curiosity
What works for me? Listen to this episode to find out 😉
If you loved this episode, you will probably love my book, Redeemed Sexuality. Buy it here (this is a paid link): Redeemed Sexuality: 12 Sessions For Healing And Transformation In Community.Join our private community at husbandmaterial.co
What is centering prayer? How can it help us when we're triggered or preoccupied? In this episode, Matthew Lyda explains the 4 Rs of centering prayer:
- Resist no thought
- Retain no thought
- React to no thought
- Return to God
Matthew Lyda is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional and a poet. He is the author of Recover The Wild: Unfiltered Poems And Prayers (paid link). Matthew is also trained as a mental health & life purpose coach. Take Matthew's free 5-day course on centering prayer here.
Please join us for "An Evening of Centering Prayer" inside the Husband Material Community on Wednesday May 11, 2022 at 4:00 PM Pacific Time.
How does the gospel interact with trauma? In this episode, Matt Wenger explains a Christ-centered and clinically innovative approach to healing trauma and outgrowing pornography.
Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues and their impact on faith. The program uses the TINSA treatment model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and attachment wounds driving addictive behaviors and problematic thinking around sex and intimacy.
The next Boulder Recovery intensive is June 18th-July 2nd, 2022. Seats are limited. If you're interested, contact Boulder Recovery here.
Learn more about trauma-induced sexual addiction here (this is a paid link): TINSA: A Neurological Approach to the Treatment of Sex Addiction, by Dr. Michael Barta.
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
What if you could become a loving older brother to your inner child? In this episode, you'll discover how to do this through Older Brother Coaching.
Older Brother Coaching is my unique approach to healing the inner child, which has led to hundreds of breakthroughs for Christian men outgrowing porn. In this episode, you'll learn the three steps of Older Brother Coaching. Then at the end, I'll lead you through a guided meditation to experience it for yourself.
Resources mentioned (including paid links):
- Going Deeper: Understanding How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction, by Dr. Eddie Capparucci
- Altogether You: Experiencing Personal And Spiritual Transformation Through Internal Family Systems Therapy, by Jenna Riemersma
- Boundaries For Your Soul: How To Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts And Feelings Into Your Greatest Allies, by Dr. Alison Cook and Kimberly June Miller
- The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, by Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
- What If I Don't Remember Much Of My Childhood? (podcast episode), by Adam Young
This episode is a preview of Husband Material Academy (HMA), the all-in-one solution for Christian men outgrowing porn. If you loved this episode, you will love HMA...
Join HMA at joinhma.com!
What if being reported for criminal sexual activity can be a blessing? In this episode, Rich Moore explains how being reported saved his life and propelled him into healing. Rich also reveals how to know if you should report yourself or someone else to local authorities.
Rich Moore is the Associate Director of Men's Groups for Pure Desire Ministries, and a certified Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional (PSAP). Rich has been involved with Pure Desire for over 20 years and serves a foundational role in helping churches start a Pure Desire group ministry. Rich is also the author of The Silent Battle: One Man's Fight for Freedom.
Contact Rich Moore at rich@puredesire.org
Pure Desire Resources:
- Join a Pure Desire Group
- Listen to the Pure Desire Podcast
- Read the Pure Desire Blog
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
What is racial trauma? How does it affect us all, and what does healing look like? In this episode, Sheila Wise Rowe shares insights and stories about how racial trauma can be healed.
Sheila Wise Rowe is a truth-teller who writes passionately about matters of faith and emotional healing. She advocates for the dignity, rights, and healing of abuse survivors, those carrying racial trauma, and racial (re)conciliation. Sheila is the author of the award-winning book Healing Racial Trauma: The Road to Resilience, and her newest book, Young, Gifted, and Black: A Journey of Lament and Celebration. Learn more at sheilawiserowe.com
Recommended books about racial trauma (these are paid links):
- Healing Racial Trauma: The Road to Resilience, by Sheila Wise Rowe
- Young, Gifted, and Black: A Journey of Lament and Celebration, by Sheila Wise Rowe
- My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies, by Resmaa Menakem
- Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America's Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing, by Dr. Joy Degruy
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
If you’re not attracted to typical porn, have you ever wondered why? In this episode, I explore the roots of my negative association with female sexual parts due to purity culture, parents, peers, princesses, and porn.
Books about sex and purity culture (paid links):
- A Celebration Of Sex, by Dr. Doug Rosenau
- The Gift Of Sex, by Clifford And Joyce Penner
- Talking Back To Purity Culture, by Rachel Joy Welcher
To understand how purity culture keeps men trapped in porn, take my free mini-course at outgrowporn.com
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
What does God think about my face, my gut, and my penis? In this episode, Matt Cline unpacks what the Bible says about our bodies—why they have value, and how we can reclaim the parts we don't like.
Matt Cline is the director of Restored Ministries, focused on helping 1,000,000 people live porn-free and powerfully by 2030. He is also co-host of the Pure Victory Podcast. Matt lives in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada with his wife and two young sons.
Restored Ministries Resources:
Pure Freedom Journey - restoredministries.ca/purefreedom
Cleansing Hour - restoredministries.ca/cleansinghour
Other support options - restoredministries.ca/gethelp
Wives & girlfriends - restoredministries.ca/partners
Instagram - instagram.com/restored_community
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.co
Is there such a thing as healthy shame? How can we heal from toxic shame? In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter shares eye-opening answers to these questions from science and scripture.
Dr. Jake Porter is the founder of Daring Ventures and host of the upcoming Choose Connection Online Summit for couples in recovery from addiction and betrayal on March 25-27, 2022. Husband Material is partnering with Daring Ventures to promote this awesome event using affiliate links.
Get your free ticket to the Choose Connection Summit here: https://drewboa.krtra.com/t/4PhNgRjQJqa4Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
What is true vulnerability? Why is it so important? When is it safe? And how can I get better at it? In this episode, I answer all these questions and more...
If you want to become more vulnerable with men committed to curiosity and compassion, apply to join an upcoming Husband Material group at husbandmaterial.com/group
Resources on vulnerability (including paid links):
- The Power Of Vulnerability (TED Talk) by Brené Brown
- Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Bréne Brown
- The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brené Brown
- Refuge: How Hospital Church Ministry Can Change Your Church Forever, by James Reeves
Who are you? What defines you? Performance? Porn addiction? Sexual attraction? In this episode, Sathiya Sam reveals the power of having a secure identity, how to strengthen your sense of self, and why he recommends self-care using the 5 love languages.
Sathiya Sam is a coach and speaker who helps men live with confidence and integrity. A recovered addict himself, Sathiya is the creator of DeepClean™️ – a research-based and Bible-backed system for overcoming porn. This work has helped everyone from college students to medical doctors regain control of their lives and walk in greater levels of freedom. Based out of Toronto, Canada, Sathiya is happily married and a die-hard basketball fan.
Listen to Sathiya's podcast: Unleash The Man Within
Buy Sathiya Sam's new book (this is a paid link):
The Last Relapse: Realize Your Potential, Reclaim Intimacy, And Resolve The Root Issues Of Porn Addiction This week, Sathiya is giving away a few copies of The Last Relapseinside the Husband Material Community. Join the community at husbandmaterial.co
"You can't possibly hate yourself more than I love you. You can try, but it ain't gonna happen. You can try, but I have until eternity. You don't. How long do you wanna keep playing this game of the pity party and this shame when I got so much more planned for you?" —Dr. Joe Martin
In this episode, Dr. Joe Martin shares his incredible story of God bringing redemption out of poverty, abuse, addiction, and divorce. He also reveals the 5 components of a kingdom man, and how to address voices of accusation with your God-given authority.
Dr. Joe Martin is an award-winning speaker, author, educator, and certified builder of men. He’s the author of nine books, including: “Man Accomplished: 50 Challenges to Help You Be the Man God Made You to Be,” “Are You the Man: 201 Lessons I Wish My Dad Would’ve Taught Me,” and “The Real Man Spiritual Leader Blueprint: 21 Practical Ways to Love and Lead Your Family."
Joe is also the host of Real Men Connect, the top-rated podcast for Christian men that focuses on mentoring, training, and discipling men on how to be amazing husbands, awesome fathers, and extraordinary leaders. Learn more at realmenconnect.com
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
What's the best way to respond to a relapse into porn, either for yourself or for a friend? In this episode, you'll learn the power of viewing relapse as feedback (not failure), the benefits of a growth mindset (not a fixed mindset), and the 3 types of feedback you must receive.
Research mentioned in this episode (this is a paid link):
- Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success, by Carol Dweck
Other Husband Material resources mentioned in this episode:
- Read a book
- Take a course
- Get coaching
What is "normal" for survivors of sexual abuse? And what does healing look like? Mike Chapman offers validation and wisdom based on years of research and his personal healing journey.
Mike Chapman is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), trafficking, and sexual assault as an adult by clergy. He is also an incredible man of God, a powerful encourager, and a Certified Husband Material Coach with over 3 years of freedom from porn.
Mike also facilitates a free private group for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse for members the Husband Material Community. Contact Mike at polarlifeconsulting@gmail.com
Download the free PDF: What Is CSA Normal?
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- MaleSurvivor.org
- Traumasexuality.info
- EMDR
- Huna
- Brainspotting
- Comprehensive Resource Model
Join the upcoming Husband Material Virtual Retreat on February 25-27: Healing From Sexual Abuse
You have to hear Mike's story. Mike Chapman is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), trafficking, and sexual assault as an adult by clergy. He is also an incredible man of God, a powerful encourager, and a Certified Husband Material Coach with over 3 years of freedom from porn.
Contact Mike for coaching at polarlifeconsulting@gmail.com
Mike also facilitates a free private group for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse for members of the Husband Material Community.
Another forum for male survivors of sexual abuse is available at MaleSurvivor.org
Books mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):
The Body Keeps The Score, by Bessel van der Kolk
Victims No Longer, by Mike Lew
How can I know if I was sexually abused, and why does it matter? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter answers these important questions while opening up about his own early sexual experiences... and how resolving sexual confusion helped him find freedom from gay porn.
Dr. Doug Carpenter is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and professor of psychology. He and his spouse, Mary Carpenter, LMSW are the founders of Insight Counseling Services in Rochester, Michigan.
Buy Doug's new book (this is a paid link):
Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development
Sign up for the upcoming Husband Material Virtual Retreat: "Healing From Sexual Abuse" (February 25-27, 2022) at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
What is healing prayer? What is it (not) about? What can we expect from it? This episode is a must-listen for anyone who is interested in healing prayer, because Leslie Weinzettel offers incredibly helpful guidance on how to pray for one another in a way that is truly healing.
Leslie Weinzettel has been practicing and growing in the ministry of healing prayer for the last 17 years. As a former staff member of Christian Healing Ministries in Jacksonville, FL, she shares from her many experiences of praying for others, receiving prayer herself, gleaning from the wisdom of seasoned leaders, and providing training for other prayer ministers. She currently lives in Wheaton, IL with her husband and two young daughters where she actively serves as a prayer minister in her local church.
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
In this episode, Alex VanHouten shares wisdom about exercise, nutrition, and physical fitness while keeping God at the center of it all.
Alex VanHouten is a father, husband, and self-proclaimed fitness nerd. He has served thousands of clients as a health coach, nutritionist, and personal trainer for the past 16 years. He is the owner and founder of the Betterment Company and the Better Daily App. Alex lives in Greenbrier, Arkansas with his wife and two boys.
Here is Alex's new Mastermind:
Better Man Challenge (LIVE)
Use the code "BOA" to save $50
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Vitamin D 5000 IU
- Magnesium Bisglycinate
- Free workouts at darebee.com
- Fitbit Charge 5
- Garmin Vivo
- Strava
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
How can physical fitness help you outgrow porn? In this episode, professional trainer Alex VanHouten explains why and how strengthening your body can strengthen your sexual integrity. Along the way, Alex shares a wealth of insights from science, Scripture, and his own story of freedom.
Alex VanHouten is a father, husband, and self-proclaimed fitness nerd. He has served thousands of clients as a health coach, nutritionist, and personal trainer for the past 16 years. He is the owner and founder of the Betterment Company and the Better Daily App. Alex lives in Greenbrier, Arkansas with his wife and two boys.
Here are Alex's three different podcasts:
Defining Dad Bod Podcast
Better Daily Shortcast
Pick Up Your Cross Bible Study
For a deeper dive into the new science of health and fitness, join us for part 2 of this conversation on next week's episode...
Find out why northern elephant seals are my favorite animal, and how they have helped me unlearn self-contempt.
More About Elephant Seals:
"Seven Things That May Surprise You About Elephant Seals!" (article by Valerie Shore)
Friends Of The Elephant Seal (check out their Live Beach Cam)
More Resources To Outgrow Porn:
Husband Material Community
Husband Material Coaching
Husband Material Courses
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
What if everything you’ve been taught about sex has set you up for disappointment? In this episode, Sheila Wray Gregoire explains how sex can become truly great—for both partners. She also unpacks the harmful teachings of "Every Man's Battle" and challenges husbands to make love, not just intercourse!
Sheila Wray Gregoire is the face behind ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com, the largest single-blogger marriage blog with one million page views per month. A sought-after speaker, she’s also an award-winning author of nine books and the host of the Bare Marriage Podcast.
Buy Sheila's excellent new book here (this is a paid link):
The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught And How To Recover What God Intended
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
https://instagram.com/sheilagregoire
https://facebook.com/sheila.gregoire.books
https://twitter.com/sheilagregoire
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdO1v4LdyqZV-m_VMlH5VGg
https://greatsexrescue.com/
When is nudity appropriate for men outgrowing porn? How can nudity become healing rather than harmful? In this episode, I will be vulnerable about my own experiences with nudity, and share what I have learned.
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
We live in a sports-centric culture. Have you ever felt like less of a man because of this? If you sometimes measure your masculinity based on athletic performance, this episode is for you. Stephen Thomas will explain the concept of "sports wounds," the 3 types of sports wounds, and how to heal so you can become more confident and secure as a man!
Stephen Thomas is a husband and father who has had sobriety from porn for over 13 years. He's passionate about seeing men who feel hopelessly buried by addictions come alive and realize the strength God has placed in them. Stephen is a Certified Husband Material Coach and recently launched his own business so he can focus his efforts on helping men get free and seeing couples repair their marriages.
Web Site:
StephenThomasConsulting.com
Facebook Page:
Facebook.com/stephenthomasconsulting.com
Apply for individual, couples or small group coaching with Stephen here:
StephenThomasCounsulting.com/services
Contact:
Stephen@stephenthomasconsulting.com
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by stress? In this episode, Marcus Spaur explains the difference between healthy and unhealthy stress, why self-care is not selfish, and how to prepare for stress during the holidays!
Marcus Spaur is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. He is also the Director of Care & Support at Husband Material, and a Certified Husband Material Coach. Email Marcus at marcus.spaur@gmail.com.
You can sign up for a free coaching session with Marcus Spaur here.
34 Tips For Self-Care:
‣ Drink a cup of hot herbal tea
‣ Sit in the sun and notice the warmth on your skin
‣ Pet a cat
‣ Go for a walk
‣ Take five deep, slow breaths
‣ Tense all the muscles in your body, hold for 5 seconds, then release them
‣ Call a safe friend and share how you are feeling
‣ Give yourself a hug
‣ Do gentle yoga
‣ Pray
‣ Meditate on a comforting verse or scripture or an encouraging word
‣ Listen to soothing music
‣ Take a long, warm bubble bath
‣ Let a mint dissolve in your mouth and focus on its sensation and flavor
‣ Get up and move to another room or a different environment
‣ Journal what you are feeling
‣ Draw or paint
‣ Take your shoes off, go outside, and let your toes feel the earth beneath you
‣ Take a nap
‣ Put on comfortable clothes
‣ Snuggle into a soft blanket
‣ Light a scented candle
‣ Turn off all your devices for 30 minutes, sit quietly and breathe
‣ Shift your posture
‣ Hug a loved one and don’t let go until you relax into their embrace
‣ Do something that made you happy as a child
‣ Laugh out loud
‣ Splash in a puddle
‣ Get a massage
‣ Connect with a supportive group: Bible study, small group, 12 step community
‣ Sing out loud
‣ Stretch
‣ Play on a playground
‣ Write down 10 things for which you have gratitude
—Excerpted from Altogether You Guided Journaling Worksheets (page 17) by Jenna Riemersma. Get more tips, videos, and free resources at jennariemersma.com.
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
Forgiveness is crucial to healing, but so often misunderstood. Get clarity about what forgiveness is (not) with these five truths:
- Forgiveness is not permission.
- Forgiveness is not a feeling. It's a choice.
- Forgiveness is not a moment. It's a process.
- Forgiveness is not easy or free. It's costly.
- Forgiveness is not a burden. It's a gift.
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
Living in forgiveness is living in freedom!
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
Have you ever felt like an orphan? Do you long to belong, but have difficulty trusting others? In this episode, Eddie Capparucci unpacks "the orphan spirit"—what it is, why we struggle with it, and the power of our true identity: Beloved Sons Of The Most High King.
Dr. Eddie Capparucci is a Christian therapist who specializes in the treatment of sex and porn addiction. He's the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP) and the author of two books (these are paid links):
- Removing Your Shame Label: Learning To Break From Shame And Feel God's Love
- Going Deeper: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction
- Also check out Eddie and Drew's Going Deeper Workbook!
NEW COURSE ANNOUNCEMENT
Healing The Inner Child: Video Course For Christian Men
- 6 Hours Of Video Training
- 12 Page Companion PDF
- The Inner Child Assessment
"I discovered things from my childhood that I had no idea that happened or affected me. I learned about tools to become a better man every day." —Sak
“I understand more about myself. The information was incredible and delivered with compassion—an amazing balance of clinical and spiritual advice.” —Larry
“The work that Eddie, Drew, and other leaders at the retreat were able to do is a refreshing approach to freedom from porn that allows us to love ourselves." —Jay
Buy the new video course on Healing The Inner Child at: husbandmaterial.com/healing-the-inner-child
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
The image of God in you is good. In this episode, author and therapist Jenna Riemersma beautifully explains how the image of God can bring healing and freedom to every part of us... including any parts attached to pornography and other unwanted behaviors.
Jenna Riemersma is the founder and clinical director of The Atlanta Center for Relational Healing. She is also teaching faculty for the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP).
Jenna also provides dozens of free resources at MoveToward.com.
Text JENNA to 33777 to receive...
- A free "Move Toward" Worksheet
- A guided meditation for sex addiction
- A guided meditation for betrayal trauma
Buy Jenna's book here: (this is a paid link):
Altogether You: Experiencing Personal And Spiritual Transformation Through Internal Family Systems Therapy
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
If you feel unworthy or unlovable, please listen to this. It's a sermon—the same one I preached at the recent Husband Material Retreat in Santa Barbara.
How Jesus Reverses The Curse:
A Case Study From The Life Of Peter
Sermon on John 21 by Drew Boa
Sunday, October 10th, 2021
- The Rupture: Peter's unfinished business with Jesus
- The Repair: Jesus confronts Peter with compassion
- The Redemption: Peter courageously follows Jesus
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
Play is not optional for outgrowing porn. It's essential! In this episode, Dr. Michael Crocker explains why play supports sexual recovery, and what it looks like to rediscover healthy play as an adult man.
Dr. Michael Crocker is the founder and director of The Sexuality, Attachment, and Trauma Project as well as a private practitioner. Michael provides direct clinical services that address trauma, cross addiction, out-of-control sexual behavior, as well as sexual inhibition, intimacy anxiety, gender disorders, and sexual identity confusion. You can email him at michael@sexualityproject.org.
Highly recommended: take Michael's free assessment, The Play & Positive Affect Inventory.
Books mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):
Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons From The Myths Of Boyhood, by William Pollack
Play: How It Shapes The Brain, Opens The Imagination, And Invigorates The Soul, by Stuart Brown and Christopher Vaughan
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
Do you want to feel loved? Then you must remove your filter. Matthew Ray Lyda is here to help us do that... through the power of unfiltered poetry!
Matthew Ray Lyda is a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional who has published a book of poetry (this is a paid link): Recover The Wild: Unfiltered Poems And Prayers. Matthew is also trained as a mental health & life purpose coach. You can email him at matthewlyda@gmail.com.
Take the free 7-Day Filterless Poetry Challenge!
(and receive personal feedback from Matthew Ray Lyda)
You're invited to the Husband Material Poetry Recital on October 26 at 5 PM Pacific Time! Access the link to join inside the Husband Material Community at husbandmaterial.co.
Why do we compare ourselves to others? What is the cure for comparison? In this episode, my dear friend and mentor Michael Tso and I talk about our struggles with comparison... and the powerful antidote of belovedness!
Dr. Michael Tso is a Family Medicine Doctor at Alliance Clinical Associates in Wheaton, Illinois. Michael specializes in mental health care with a whole person approach that integrates biological, psychological, relational and spiritual aspects of personhood.
Books mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):
The Inner Voice Of Love, by Henri Nouwen
Redeemed Sexuality, by Drew Boa
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
How does porn (mis)educate us? What exactly does it teach? In this episode, I'll share the 5 As of porn, the 2 core messages, and how to experience sexual re-education.
Resources mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):
The Psychology Of Porn, by Andrew Bauman
Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality, by Gail Dines
Join our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co
"Sexual discipleship is teaching people HOW to think about sexuality, not WHAT to think about sexuality." In this episode, Dr. Juli Slattery helps us rethink sexuality according to the story of God, rather than the toxic sexual narratives of porn and purity culture.
Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. She is also the author of ten books and host of the weekly podcast "Java with Juli." Juli and her husband Mike are the parents of 3 sons; they live in Akron, Ohio.
Get Juli's book (this is a paid link):
Rethinking Sexuality: God's Design And Why It Matters
Also check out Juli's free resources at AuthenticIntimacy.com and SexualDiscipleship.com
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
How does enmeshment with a parent lead to sexual brokenness? And how can we heal from it? In this episode, Dr. Ken Adams will inspire you to break free from inappropriate loyalty so you can regain your passion and purpose in life.
Dr. Ken Adams is a world-renowned therapist and expert on enmeshment, covert incest, shame, abuse, and sex addiction. Learn more about Dr. Adams and the Mother-Enmeshed Men Workshop at overcomingenmeshment.com.
Free Resources:
Take the Men's Enmeshment Impact Survey
Take the Enmeshment Resilience Questionnaire
Books by Dr. Ken Adams (these are paid links):
Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners
When He's Married To Mom: How to Help Mother-Enmeshed Men Open Their Hearts to True Love and CommitmentJoin our private community at www.husbandmaterial.co/
Do your sexual fantasies ever feel confusing or disturbing? Have you ever wondered why they are so powerful, or how they work? In this episode, you will learn my exact formula for interpreting sexual fantasies.
If you don't understand your fantasies, you will have a love/hate relationship with them. However, sexual fantasies lose much of their power when you learn how to interpret them. You can become less ashamed, and more accepting of yourself. You can also become less fixated, and more flexible. This will help you strip porn of its seductive power!
Download the free worksheet: How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
Attachment is at the core of who we are, why we struggle, and how we heal. Dr. Jake Porter explains attachment in a way that is powerful, practical, and personal. Listening to this episode is insightful and delightful!
Dr. Jake Porter is the founder of Couple-Centered Recovery, a model for treating attachment wounds of couples experiencing the trauma of betrayal. Jake is a Christian psychotherapist who has taught and presented research on the topics of theology, counseling, trauma, and addiction around the world.
Connect with Jake at drjakeporter.com or daringventures.com.
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
Get wisdom on how to practically build brotherhood with 2-3 other men. At Husband Material, we call groups of 3 men "triads." In this episode, you'll learn why we recommend triads over accountability partners, how to form your own triad, and what real men in 3 different triads are currently doing to help each other heal.
3 Ways To Form A Triad:
- Join the Husband Material Community (free)
- Join Husband Material Academy (low cost, low commitment)
- Join a Husband Material Small Group (high cost, high commitment)
Join our private community at https://husbandmaterial.co/
Why is it so hard to make friends with other men? How can we go deep and get close without getting inappropriate? What about physical touch? Many of us never learned these things. If you long for deep, satisfying brotherhood in Christ, this episode is for you.
Join our private community at https://husbandmaterial.co/
Why is it so difficult to stop using porn? What brain chemicals are involved, and how do they work together? Listen to recovery coach Greg Oliver answer these questions with sharp insights from neuroscience and Scripture.
Dopamine & Norepinephrine = anticipation and arousal
Oxytocin & Vasopressin = bonding and mate selection
Serotonin & Prolactin = soothing relaxation and sleep
If you would like a summary of all the research we shared today, email Greg Oliver at greg@awakenrecovery.com.
Greg is a certified Sexual Recovery Pastoral Counselor and the Director/Co-founder (with his wife Stacey) of Awaken, a ministry that helps individuals, couples, and ministry leaders find hope and resources for sexual brokenness. Awaken offers in-person & virtual recovery meetings, 1-on-1 and couples coaching, and recovery intensives & workshops. Learn more at awakenrecovery.com.
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Slave Master: How Pornography Changes Your Brain (by Donald Hilton)
Supernormal Stimuli (summarizing research by Nikolaas Tinbergen)
Everything You Know About Addiction Is Wrong (by Johann Hari)
Join our private community at https://husbandmaterial.co/
One of my all-time favorite storytellers is Nate Larkin. In this episode, Nate tells his whole story. You'll hear how he failed as a Pharisee, how he came out of hiding, what he is struggling with right now, and how to do the 4-point check-in he uses with his friends on a daily basis.
Nate Larkin is the founder of the Samson Society, a fellowship of Christian men who are serious about authenticity, community, humility, and recovery. Buy Nate's book here (this is a paid link): Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men To Authentic Brotherhood
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.app
What is God's design for the testicles? How do testicles uniquely reflect the image of God? You might be surprised!
This episode is a follow-up to a previous episode: Theology of the Penis (with Jeremy Williamson).
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.app
Have you ever met someone who over-spiritualizes everything? In this episode, Dr. Craig Cashwell introduces the concept of spiritual bypass: how spiritual ideas or practices can become a crutch to cope with pain or trauma (just like pornography). Along the way, Craig unpacks different examples of spiritual bypass, such as toxic positivity, compulsive goodness, and forced forgiveness. We also talk about how emotional/spiritual health is totally different and so much better!
Dr. Craig Cashwell is Professor of Counselor Education and Clinical Mental Health Counseling at William & Mary, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Supervisor. You can email him at cscashwell@wm.edu.
Books featuring Dr. Craig Cashwell (these are paid links):
Shadows Of The Cross: A Christian Companion to Facing The Shadow
Integrating Spirituality and Religion Into Counseling.
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.app
This is the story of a couple who nearly divorced 4 years into marriage due to chronic sexual betrayal. They got a lot of bad advice and made a lot of mistakes, but with God as their foundation, Clinton and Charity Muñoz are now closer than ever before. They went from infidelity to intimacy—from crisis to closeness—and now they help others do the same at Restored 2 More.
Learn more about Restored 2 More here:
Restored2More.com
Restored2More Podcast
Restored2More Instagram
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app
The voice in your head that constantly criticizes you, saying you're weak, ugly, stupid, or not good enough is the voice of a bully. Bullying can come from anywhere: parents, peers, or even pornography. In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains why bullying creates the "inner critic" inside each of us, how bullying can be sexualized, what to do if you are currently being bullied, and how to heal from the effects of past bullying.
Dr. Doug Carpenter is the founder of Insight Counseling Services in Michigan. This week, Doug is giving away a few copies of his book (this is a paid link): Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male inside the Husband Material Community here.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Inside Out (Disney/Pixar Film)
Internal Family Systems
Self-Compassion.org
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app
What is the autonomic nervous system and why should I care? Because freedom from porn depends on it. Being able to notice, name, and navigate your nervous system allows you to regulate, replacing the pacifier of porn.
You can find a visual summary of this episode here.
Resources mentioned (these are paid links):
The Body Keeps The Score, by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, by Deb Dana
Polyvagal Exercises for Safety & Connection, by Deb Dana
The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory, by Dr. Stephen Porges
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app
What is a mother wound? How do you know if you have one? And how can mother wounds be healed? In this episode, Dan Hitz tells the story of his mother wounds, how they impacted his sexuality, and what the Lord has done to alleviate his anger, remove his self-hatred, and allow him to feel safe with women.
Dan Hitz is the Executive Director of Reconciliation Ministries (a member of Restored Hope Network). Dan is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Michigan, a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional [CCTP], and has been trained in EMDR.
You can email Dan at dhitz@recmin.org.
Related resources by Dan Hitz:
Overcoming the Mother Wound (article)
When My Mother and Father Forsake Me (article)
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app
What is God's purpose for the penis? How does it reflect the image of God? And how can I reclaim the goodness of my penis? Join me and Jeremy Williamson for a candid conversation about God, men, and embodied brotherhood.
Jeremy Williamson is a Pastoral Counselor at Restoration Counseling in Northern Colorado. Email Jeremy at jeremy@restorationcounselingnoco.com.
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app
Why are certain times of the day, week, or year more difficult? Because emotions fluctuate. In this episode, I'll help you prepare for emotionally difficult times and seasons so you can give yourself plenty of grace and space to process your emotions rather than turning to the pacifier of porn.
Join our private community at https://www.husbandmaterial.app
How does psychology relate to spirituality? How does therapy relate to theology? Dr. Ken McGill is a Christ-centered clinician who has been answering these questions for decades. In this episode, Dr. Ken offers a perspective on sex addiction that is both clinical and compatible with Christianity.
Dr. Ken McGill is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist with a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He is the author of Cultivating Love Book Series (this is a paid link): https://amzn.to/3hUNmlv Learn more about Dr. Ken at drkenmcgill.com.
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app
Measuring freedom from porn usually produces self-contempt or self-righteousness. How can we avoid these two pitfalls? Is there a better way? Yes, there is!
In this episode, I'll share the 4 levels of freedom from porn, how to evaluate your sexual and emotional maturity and my #1 most meaningful measurement.
Register my upcoming free live class, "How To Outgrow Porn," at outgrowporn.com!
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app
Why do we return to porn even though it harms us? What if we return to porn precisely because it harms us? The answer is often re-enactment. "Re-enactment (noun): the acting out of a past event." Therapist and licensed mental health counselor Wendell Moss tells the story how porn re-enacted sexual abuse from when he was a boy, and what happened when he was confronted by the fierce kindness of God.
Wendell Moss teaches at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology and The Allender Center. Although he is privileged and delighted to work with both men and women, Wendell loves to create contexts of healing for men, especially African American men. Contact Wendell here.
Books and resources mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):
To Be Told, by Dan Allender
Healing The Wounded Heart, by Dan Allender
The Cure, by John Lynch, Bruce McNichol and Bill Thrall
Redeemed Sexuality, by Drew Boa
Pure Desire, by Ted Roberts
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app
Have you ever been hurt by a sibling or close friend? Sometimes porn is used as a pacifier for painful peer relationships... or in some cases, the lack of any relationships at all. Marcus Spaur knows what it's like to be scarred by a sibling, and also what it's like to heal more deeply than he ever imagined. He has over 6 years of freedom from porn... and a passion for helping other men become the best possible versions of themselves this side of heaven!
Marcus Spaur is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. He is the newest Certified Husband Material Coach, joining Drew Boa and Stephen Thomas in working with individuals and leading small groups this summer. Contact Marcus for a free coaching session at marcus.spaur@gmail.com or (509) 870-7081.
Apply to join an upcoming Husband Material Small Group with Marcus, Drew, or Stephen at husbandmaterial.com/group
Join our private community app at husbandmaterial.app
Let's change the way we talk about sexual attractions and desires. No matter who or what you're sexually attracted to, this episode is for you.
What can we do with unwanted sexual attraction?
1. Talk about it
2. Understand it
3. Appreciate it
4. Manage it
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app!
Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is more common—and curable—than you might think. Hear Shawn Bonneteau's story of PIED/ED, why he continued to struggle after years of freedom from porn, and how he finally overcame it. Shawn also shares practical steps to freedom from PIED/ED, including The Thought Model.
Download Shawn's free 5-page PDF explaining The Thought Model here.
Shawn Bonneteau is a professional mentor and the co-founder of Secret Habit, where he and his wife Helena equip & empower people to heal from the harmful effects of pornography. Contact Shawn at https://secrethabit.ca/contact/
Listen to Shawn and Helena Bonneteau's Secret Habit Podcast!
Porn is a pacifier for conflict...with God, with others, and even with ourselves. Learn to embrace conflict in a redemptive way with author and therapist Jay Stringer.
I recommend Jay's book more than any other (this is a paid link): Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way To Healing
More Resources by Jay Stringer and Drew Boa:
- The Sexual Fantasy Framework (Free Mini-Course)
- The Unwanted Digital Workbook
Jay will be joining us for an exclusive Q&A event and special announcement this week on Wednesday, April 21st, at 2:00 PM Pacific Time. This Zoom Meeting will be hosted inside our community app at husbandmaterial.app. Get the app and we'll see you there!
Listen to this short clip on repeat to memorize Ephesians 6:10-17.
Join our private community at husbandmaterial.app!
We are not in a war against sexuality (which is good); we are in a war against evil. Come learn 7 strategies for spiritual warfare based on the Temptation of Jesus in Matthew 4:1-11... and hear my special spiritual warfare song!
Download a free one-page summary of this episode here:
husbandmaterial.com/43
NOTE: In the middle of this presentation I started weeping. Don't be alarmed! It's okay. God was ministering to me. I believe my tears are not a sign of weakness, but strength.
In a marriage devastated by porn, when and how should sex come back into the picture? In part two of this two-part series, Adam King and Karissa King explain how to slowly but surely restore sexual intimacy to be better than it ever was before.
Adam and Karissa (@dearyoungmarriedcouple) have been working as a coach-therapist team since 2011 and are dedicated to helping couples become intimately connected, get adventurous, and find purpose. They serve couples all over the world through online marriage counseling and coaching.
Buy Adam and Karissa's Card Decks For Couples (these are paid links):
FOUNDATIONS - Questions And Tips To Become More Connected
REALIZATIONS - See How Well You Know Your Significant Other
SEXPECTATIONS - Talk Openly About Sex Without Having Sex
More DYMC Resources...
Podcast
YouTube
Instagram
Website: dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
Phone: (916) 678-1797
E-mail: hello@dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
In a marriage devastated by porn, how do you rebuild trust? In part one of this two part series, Adam King and Karissa King share the 5 steps every couple must take to rebuild trust (for both spouses).
Download the free PDF guide here: 5 Steps When Trust Has Been Broken
Adam and Karissa (@dearyoungmarriedcouple) have been working as a coach-therapist team since 2011 and are dedicated to helping couples become intimately connected, get adventurous, and find purpose. They serve couples all over the world through online marriage counseling and coaching.
Buy Adam and Karissa's Card Decks For Couples (these are paid links):
FOUNDATIONS - Questions And Tips To Become More Connected
REALIZATIONS - See How Well You Know Your Significant Other
SEXPECTATIONS - Talk Openly About Sex Without Having Sex
More DYMC Resources...
Podcast
YouTube
Instagram
Website: dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
Phone: (916) 678-1797
E-mail: hello@dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
We believe practicing verbal affirmation is absolutely essential to outgrowing porn. In this episode, Drew and Stephen will tell you why, and share practical strategies for how (not) to do it.
Qualities Of Effective Affirmation:
- specific and precise (not generic or vague)
- evidence-based (clearly not made up)
- focused on the person (not the performance)
We practice affirming each other every week inside Husband Material small groups! Apply to join an upcoming group here: husbandmaterial.com/group
How does porn relate to your father? If you have been under-fathered, what does it look like to be re-fathered? And how can we become fathers who reverse the curse of sexual sin and shame? Let this conversation with Chris Bruno open your eyes!
Chris Bruno is the Founder and CEO of Restoration Project, a ministry restoring the hearts of men. He is also the leader of Restoration Counseling and a married father who enjoys mountains, rivers, and hammocks.
Chris has authored two books (these are paid links):
Man Maker Project: Boys are Born, Men are Made
Brotherhood Primer: A Journey Into Genuine Masculine Friendships
Get 2 months of free access to "No Regrets," Chris Bruno's online community for fathers, here: restorationproject.net/husband-material
Let's change our brains. How can we take back control of our thoughts and transform our core beliefs? My fellow Canadian friend Sathiya Sam is here to show us how.
Sathiya Sam is the founder of Deep Clean, an online recovery program that helps Christian men overcome porn. Connect with Sathiya @sathiyamesam and check out his program at getadeepclean.com
What are triggers? How do triggers work? And most importantly, how can we take back control when we get triggered? This episode will answer each of these questions clearly and concisely...and at the end, I'll explain my own B.O.A. Technique for effective regulation.
Download the free one-page summary: Nine Tips About Triggers
Hear Dr. Christopher Yuan's amazing story of coming to Christ, surrendering same-sex attraction, and embracing the gift of singleness.
Dr. Christopher Yuan has taught at Moody Bible Institute for over ten years and his speaking ministry on faith and sexuality has reached five continents. In this episode, we dive into his newest book: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel.
Dr. Yuan is the author of three books (these are paid links):
1. Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God, A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope
2. Giving a Voice to the Voiceless: Reducing The Marginalization Of Same-Sex Attracted Students
3. Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God’s Grand Story
Learn more about Christopher at christopheryuan.com
Outgrowing porn can be especially difficult for pastors and ministry leaders. Hear how Pastor Bernie Anderson got found out, but found a way out...and how God found a way in!
Bernie will be a leader at the upcoming Husband Material Virtual Retreat. Sign up now to join his small group!
Buy Bernie's book here (this is a paid link): Breaking The Silence: A Pastor Goes Public About His Battle With Pornography
Email Bernie at banderson33@me.com
What should I do with my sexual desires—my attractions, urges, impulses, cravings, fantasies, aches, longings, and yearnings? I've been on a quest to answer this question for 15 years and finally found an answer worth sharing...
Download the worksheet for this episode with 35 desires and 4 directions for each one:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/35-desires-and-4-directions
P.S. Don't forget to sign up for the upcoming Husband Material Virtual Retreat!
We all have blind spots. But what are they? If we knew, they wouldn't be blind spots! Listen to a lively conversation between 4 leaders as we talk about the blind spots we commonly see in ourselves and the men we coach.
Eddie, Drew, Scott, and Stephen will all be leaders at the upcoming Husband Material Virtual Retreat on "Healing The Inner Child" on the weekend of February 26-28!
Get the details and register now at husbandmaterial.com/retreat
Other free resources mentioned on this episode:
- Eddie Capparucci's Blind Spots
- Scott Cone's Self-Compassion Break
- Drew Boa's Identity Statements
Let's redefine purity: it's a relationship, not an accomplishment...it's about presence, not performance...and according to Jasper Hall, it comes from Jesus.
Jasper Hall is the President of pureHOPE, a ministry equipping men and women to pursue purity through relationship with Jesus. Jasper brings a sense of calm and assurance to people who feel anxiety about navigating a sexualized, digital age. Learn more at purehope.net
Do you ever feel trapped? Let me give you 5 empowering choices when it feels like porn is the only option...and along the way, I'll tell a story I've never shared in public before.
This episode comes with a free PDF worksheet.
Many of us grew up without a clue about what it means to be a sexually healthy man. That's why I'm so grateful for Andrew Bauman and his new book, "The Sexually Healthy Man." Join us for a rugged conversation about true masculine sexuality.
Andrew J. Bauman and his wife Christy run the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma, where they "provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview." Andrew is the author of several books, including The Psychology of Porn, A Brave Lament, and Stumbling Toward Wholeness.
Get Andrew's new book: The Sexually Healthy Man
Take Andrew's online quiz: Are You A Sexually Healthy Man?
Connect with Andrew and read his blog at http://www.andrewjbauman.com
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
The global anti-porn movement is gaining momentum. In this episode, you'll hear about it directly from Clay Olsen, co-founder of Fight The New Drug. Fight The New Drug (FTND) is a youth movement dedicated to raising awareness of the harmful effects of pornography and other forms of sexual exploitation. Learn more at fightthenewdrug.org.
Here are 2 amazing resources by Fight The New Drug everyone needs to know about:
Brain Heart World - brainheartworld.org
This is a 3-part documentary series about the effects of porn. It's funny, fascinating, and free.
Fortify - husbandmaterial.com/fortify
This is a mobile app that helps you enjoy life without porn. It's free with the option of upgrading for premium features. Support Husband Material by using the link above to create your account.
Learn the two styles of relating you need to outgrow in order to enjoy the freedom of life as an adult.
Interested in outgrowing porn? Learn more at outgrowporn.com.
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
Within each of us, there are three bears in three chairs. Listen to Marnie Ferree explain why, and you'll understand yourself in a whole new way.
Marnie C. Ferree is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Nashville, Tennessee, where she directs Bethesda Workshops, which provides Christian-based treatment for sex addicts, their partners, couples, and teens affected by sexual addiction. Learn more at https://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/
Marnie is also the author of No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction: https://www.amazon.com/No-Stones-Redeemed-Sexual-Addiction/dp/083083740X
No Stones is one of my all-time favorite books!
It's the most triggering time of the year! Have yourself a healthy little Christmas with tips from Greg Oliver as shares the 4 challenges we all face at Christmastime, the CPR method for staying healthy, and how to redeem the hand you use to masturbate.
Greg Oliver struggled for over 25 years with an addiction to sex & porn. Since 2009 he has been on a journey of healing and recovery. Greg is a certified Sexual Recovery Pastoral Counselor and the Director/Co-founder (with his wife Stacey) of Awaken, a ministry that helps individuals, couples, and ministry leaders find hope and resources for sexual brokenness. Some of the resources offered by Awaken include in-person & virtual recovery meetings, 1-on-1 and couples coaching, and recovery intensives & workshops. Learn more at awakenrecovery.com
Contact Greg by emailing greg@awakenrecovery.com.
You can book a session with Greg at awakenrecovery.com/coaching.
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
Shame sucks. In this episode, Stephen Thomas shares a childhood story of humiliation, his struggle with porn and same-sex attraction, and how he found lasting freedom through radical vulnerability.
Stephen is a husband and father who has had sobriety from porn for over 12 years. He has led multiple Pure Desire groups and is now joining Husband Material as a private small group leader. Stephen is passionate about seeing men who feel hopelessly buried by addictions come alive and realize the strength God has placed in them.
Apply to join a Husband Material Small Group at https://husbandmaterial.com/groups
How does the gospel speak into sexual brokenness? This episode is all about who Jesus is and who we are as sexual beings in Christ.
Free resource: check out my list of Identity in Christ statements with Scripture references included at https://www.husbandmaterial.com/37
Spoiler Alert: In the middle of this episode, there is a rap. Bet you didn't see that coming! In case you're wondering, the song is "The Cross (3 Hours)" by Shai Linne.
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
What's the difference between lust and love? Hear from Josh Glaser as he shares his story of healing and we talk about what it means to not just avoid lust, but grow in Christ-like love.
Josh Glaser is the Executive Director of Regeneration, a Christ-centered ministry that helps men, women, and families to learn and live God’s good, holy, and beautiful design for sexuality.
Check out Josh's podcast at regenerationministries.org/podcast
Contact Josh to inquire about coaching at regenerationministries.org/coaching
If lust is your lullaby, this episode is for you. Learn the unique reasons why porn serves as a sleep aid and how to find a better solution.
Join our free private community for men: husbandmaterialmen.com
People say Matt and Laurie's marriage is impossible. Laurie's same-sex attraction and Matt's addiction to pornography almost led them to divorce. But this impossible marriage—and all marriages—are made possible by God.
Laurie Krieg is a writer, speaker, and ministry leader whose mission is to teach the church how to approach sexuality with the gospel.
Matt Krieg is a licensed professional counselor and director of counseling at Caring Well Counseling.
Laurie and Matt are the authors of the new book, An Impossible Marriage: What Our Mixed-Orientation Marriage Has Taught Us About Love and the Gospel. Together, Laurie and Matt host the Hole in My Heart Podcast and live in beautiful West Michigan with their three young children.
Buy their book here: https://www.amazon.com/Impossible-Marriage-Mixed-Orientation-Taught-Gospel/dp/0830847936/ref=as_li_ss_tl?tag=impossiblem02-20
Listen to their podcast here: https://lauriekrieg.com/podcast/
Behind the scenes of sexual addiction, the inner child is running the show. Porn is his pacifier and lust is his lullaby. So who is this kid, and how can we help him heal? Join me and Eddie Capparucci as we discuss the 9 types of inner child...and why the road to recovery runs through your childhood.
Dr. Eddie Capparucci is a Christian therapist who specializes in the treatment of sexual and pornography addiction. He's the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP) and the author of "Going Deeper: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction."
Eddie's book and other resources are all available at https://innerchild-sexaddiction.com/
Eddie will be joining us this week for a Live Q&A about The Inner Child inside our private group for men at husbandmaterialmen.com. Hope to see you there!
What does it mean to "be a man"? What is true masculinity? Dr. Doug Carpenter cuts through the clutter and defines masculinity in a way that empowers men to be who we really are.
Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist and the co-owner of Insight Counseling Services in Rochester, Michigan. He's the author of "Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male."
Buy Doug's book here: Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male
Doug will be joining us for a Live Q&A Call inside the Husband Material Men Facebook Group this week. Bring all your questions about trauma, masculinity, and gender-role conflict!
Join our private community for men: husbandmaterialmen.com
Learn the G.R.O.W.T.H. model for helping men outgrow porn:
G = Going First
R = Repeating & Rephrasing
O = Observing
W = Weaving & Waiting
T = Telling The Truth
H = Having Fun!
Join our private community for men: husbandmaterialmen.com
How can we help the next generation develop healthy sexuality in a pornographic world? That's the question Rodney and Traci Wright answer on today's episode.
Rodney & Traci are the authors of How to Talk With Your Kids About Sex. They're passionate about helping parents communicate healthy sexuality with our kids. In their work for Pure Desire Ministries, Rodney and Traci share their personal journey of recovery and hope based on 30+ years of experience as speakers, pastors, and counselors. They have raised three children and currently reside in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.
BONUS EPISODE: Rodney and Traci will be joining us for a Live Q&A Session inside the Husband Material Private Facebook Group on Sunday night, October 18th. Join the group so you can attend the Q&A at husbandmaterialmen.com
Buy How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex here: puredesire.org/how-to-talk-with-your-kids-about-sex
Email Rodney at rodney@puredesire.org or call him at 208-691-3872
Email Traci at traciw@puredesire.org
Does the Sabbath seem like a boring, outdated obligation? It's not when you treat it like sex!
Download the free “Design Your Day Of Delight” worksheet at https://www.husbandmaterial.com/design-your-day-of-delight
Guys, we're not the only ones who need to outgrow porn. Shout out to all the ladies following Husband Material even though it's meant for men! Whoever you are, you'll love this conversation with Crystal Renaud Day.
Crystal is the host of the upcoming SHE Virtual Recovery Summit for women struggling with porn and unwanted sexual behaviors. Don't worry, men are invited too. Register for this free online conference at shevirtualsummit.com
Crystal Renaud Day is the founding director of SheRecovery.com (formerly Dirty Girls Ministries), an online ministry helping women overcome porn and sexual addiction. Her books include Dirty Girls Come Clean, 90 Days to Wholeness, and Dating Done Right.
If you're a woman struggling with porn, join Crystal's private Facebook Group for women here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/218309822664020/
In this presentation, I'll share the most powerful way to change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship without fighting an exhausting battle against your secret sexual desires. (Get the video at outgrowporn.com)
You'll learn:
- Five reasons why purity culture sets you up to struggle with porn
- The secret trick to "hack" your sexual fantasies and strip porn of its seductive power
- How to completely eliminate the risk of relapse (without getting accountability software or giving up your smartphone)
And at the end...I'll introduce the all-in-one solution for Christian men outgrowing porn: Husband Material Academy (HMA)!
Join HMA now at http://joinHMA.com
Not sure if you want to join?
- Schedule a call with Drew at drewboa.com/call
- Email Drew at husbandmaterial.com/drew
Men don't get hooked on porn...boys do. In this episode, I'll guide you through an exercise to help you build trust with the young boy in your heart who was originally exploited by porn.
This LIVE episode is a sneak preview of my brand-new program, Husband Material Academy (HMA). To learn more, visit joinhma.com
Not sure if you want to join HMA? Come to my FINAL free live class this Tuesday night, September 15th @ outgrowporn.com
Attend future live episodes inside our private group for men at husbandmaterialmen.com
Outgrowing porn is about so much more than eliminating unhealthy behavior. At the same time, preventing relapse is a necessary short-term skill, which you can develop and improve. In this episode, I'll explain three proven tools to help prevent relapse..and my #1 tip for how to use these tools effectively.
Download the "Relapse Prevention Toolbox" one-page worksheet here:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/free-pdf-relapse-prevention-toolbox
Get more free training at outgrowporn.com
Join our community at husbandmaterialmen.com
Do you binge on porn and then purge it all from your devices, promising to never look again? In this episode, you'll learn 2 ways to stop the cycle of sexual bulimia.
More training at outgrowporn.com
Join our community at husbandmaterialmen.com
What if you're dating someone while outgrowing porn? How can you support each other effectively? Join us for a conversation with Rosie Makinney on what it takes to save your marriage before it starts!
Rosie Makinney is the founder of Fight For Love Ministries and the author of Fight For Love: How To Take Your Marriage Back From Porn.
Are you a boyfriend or a husband? Invite your significant other to join Rosie's free confidential group for women, Fight For Love Fellowship: https://www.facebook.com/groups/FightForLoveFellowship/
Other resources for girlfriends and wives:
Hope Redefined
The Naked Truth Project
BeBroken Ministries
Pure Desire
Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Recover for Women
Bloom for Women
In the porn you prefer, who's in charge? If you're usually dominant or submissive, have you ever wondered why? In today's episode, we’ll unpack 2 sexual fantasies featuring power dynamics of domination & submission.
Apply for Husband Material Group Coaching at husbandmaterial.com/group
Join our community & attend future live episodes at husbandmaterialmen.com
What if your anger is not a problem, but a prophet with a message that just might heal you? This episode will challenge you to rethink anger so you can stop using sexual behavior as an outlet for eroticized rage.
Join this week’s LIVE episode this Thursday (about power & submission) inside our private group for men at husbandmaterialmen.com
If you're feeling frustrated and exhausted from fighting a battle against yourself, this episode is for you. Join me for a conversation with Cameron Staley revealing the power and practice of mindfulness!
Dr. Cameron Staley is a clinical psychologist, porn researcher, and the creator of Life After Pornography, an online program proven to reduce unwanted pornography viewing in adults. Cameron specializes in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an effective treatment for reducing unwanted porn viewing.
Check out Life After Pornography at lifeafterpornography.com
I'm also excited to share Cameron's podcast on mental health and pornography:
podcasts.apple.com/podcast/the-life-after-series
Join our free private community for men: husbandmaterialmen.com
This bonus episode will guide you through an experiential exercise in mindfulness.
You can download the mp3 meditation for future listening at husbandmaterial.com/cameron.
Join our free private community for men: husbandmaterialmen.com
Have you ever struggled with ADHD or distraction? When you can't focus, freedom from porn becomes almost impossible. That's why in this episode, I open up about my own journey through ADHD, as well as 4 helpful tips that will take you from distracted to disciplined.
Extended Training Video (Free From Day One): husbandmaterial.com/free-from-day-one
Resources mentioned in this episode:
freetofocusbook.com
fullfocusplanner.com
habitica.com
Join our free private community for men: husbandmaterialmen.com
Have you ever been sexually attracted to something weird or uncommon? Have you ever wondered if it’s okay to pursue that sexually with another person?
In this episode, you'll learn how sexual fetishes develop and what to do if you have one...with plenty of time for Q&A from members of our private group at husbandmaterialmen.com
Want to win a free "fetish & fantasy" private coaching session with me? I'm giving one away to a random reviewer of this podcast. All you have to do is write a review on iTunes and send an email to drew@husbandmaterial.com to let me know you wrote it, and you'll be entered to win.
Reviews are how people know if they should listen or not, so if you like the show, please take a minute to write a review. Thank you so much!
Discover how Nick Stumbo found freedom from porn, even while serving as the lead pastor of a church!
Nick is the Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries and Co-Host of the Pure Desire Podcast. He's also the author of Setting Us Free: An Unexpected Journey Of Grace, and Safe: Creating A Culture Of Grace In A Climate Of Shame. You can email him at nicks@puredesire.org
In this episode, we walk a lot about the power of groups.
Join a Pure Desire Group here: https://www.puredesire.org
Join an Unwanted Journey Group here: https://www.unwantedworkbook.com/groups
Join a Husband Material Group here: https://www.husbandmaterial.com/group
Learn my formula for finding great mentors who ask YOU to spend time together!
Upcoming LIVE Broadcast: Sexual Fetishes. You're invited to participate in the recording of an upcoming LIVE episode about sexual fetishes, inside our private online community for men. Sign up to join us on Thursday, July 2nd at http://husbandmaterialmen.com. There will be time for Q&A, so bring your questions!
Get ready for a magnificent conversation with Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Jenna Riemersma – my former professor and the first female guest on this show!
Jenna also recorded an exclusive guided meditation exercise for us, which you can download here:
www.husbandmaterial.com/jenna
Jenna Riemersma is the Clinical Director of The Atlanta Center for Relational Healing. She is a teaching faculty member for the International Institute For Trauma And Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Her new book, Altogether You, is now available! Use this link to buy the book and support her work: https://amzn.to/2TsNWK7
Connect with Jenna and get more free resources at https://jennariemersma.com/
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
Apply for a free coaching session: https://drewboa.com/
This bonus episode will guide you through an experiential exercise in IFS therapy.
You can download the mp3 meditation for future listening at husbandmaterial.com/jenna.
Jenna's new book, Altogether You, explains the power of IFS from a Christian perspective. Use this link to buy the book and support her work: https://amzn.to/2TsNWK7
Connect with Jenna and get more free resources at https://jennariemersma.com/
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
Apply for a free coaching session: https://drewboa.com/
What do you do when you get an erection? Use these 3 tips to bless your body instead of cursing it.
Join our free private community for men: husbandmaterialmen.com
Discover exactly what it takes to succeed in achieving total freedom from porn.
This episode was recorded LIVE inside the Husband Material Community, a private online group for men outgrowing porn. To join us for future live episodes, visit husbandmaterialmen.com
Download the Porn-Free Path Worksheet at husbandmaterial.com/23
Sign up for my upcoming free class at outgrowporn.com
Most people don’t realize the Bible talks directly about porn. In this episode, I’ll share three New Testament teachings on “porneia” and reveal the beauty and power of each one.
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Apply for a free coaching session: https://drewboa.com/
Today we have two Andrew B's on the show! Join us for a two-part conversation on how to handle beauty, how to go through grief, and how these healing journeys release us into greater freedom from porn.
Andrew J. Bauman and his wife Christy started the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma, where they "provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview." Andrew is the author of several books, including The Psychology of Porn, A Brave Lament, and Stumbling Toward Wholeness.
You can connect with Andrew at http://www.andrewjbauman.com
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
Apply for a free coaching session: https://drewboa.com/
Text Drew at 805-398-6170.
Today we have two Andrew B's on the show! Join us for a two-part conversation on how to handle beauty, how to go through grief, and how these healing journeys release us into greater freedom from porn.
Andrew J. Bauman and his wife Christy started the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma, where they "provide high-quality experiential, narrative-based psychotherapy from a Christian worldview." Andrew is the author of several books, including The Psychology of Porn, A Brave Lament, and Stumbling Toward Wholeness.
You can connect with Andrew at http://www.andrewjbauman.com
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
Apply for a free coaching session: https://drewboa.com/
Discover 5 reasons why I believe purity culture is the number one enemy of freedom from porn.
Sexuality Meets Discipleship ebook: https://www.drewboa.com/ebook
Join our free private community for men: http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
Apply for a free coaching session: https://drewboa.com/
Find out how Sathiya Sam developed emotional fitness, self-awareness, and freedom to enjoy his sexuality!
Sathiya Sam is the founder of Deep Clean, where he helps men overcome pornography through a step-by-step process to experience freedom in their relationships, identity and future.
Connect with Sathiya at www.sathiyasam.com
🤵🏼🤵🏽🤵🏻Join our free private community for men:
http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
🙋🏼♂️Apply for a free coaching session:
https://drewboa.com/
Learn how porn functions as a pacifier, and how to outgrow it without fighting the battle.
Download the Sexual Fantasy Framework here:
http://www.sexualfantasyframework.com/
Get the video and blog for this episode here:
https://husbandmaterial.com/20
🤵🏼🤵🏽🤵🏻Join our free private community for men:
http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
🙋🏼♂️Apply for a free coaching session:
https://drewboa.com/
Listen in on the surprising lessons I learned from a little book called "Porn For Women."
Download my free course on sexual fantasies:
http://sexualfantasyframework.com/
Join our free private community for men:
http://husbandmaterialmen.com/
Apply for a free coaching session:
https://drewboa.com/
Discover if deleting Instagram is right for you. I want you to make this decision with confidence.
If you do keep Instagram, follow Husband Material @husbandmaterialmen!
Find out how God delivered Shawn from deep self-hatred and saved his marriage.
Shawn and Helena Bonneteau are the founders of Secret Habit. Their mission is to help young men and women heal from the effects of pornography.
Listen to the Secret Habit Podcast.
Connect with Shawn here:
https://www.secrethabit.ca/
https://www.instagram.com/secrethabitministry/
🤵🏼🤵🏽🤵🏻Join our free private community for men:
https://www.husbandmaterial.co/
Hint: the answer is no. Learn 3 reasons why marriage is not a solution to sexual brokenness.
Visit Dear Young Married Couple for more amazing online content and counseling.
For daily advice, follow me on Instagram.
This one simple shift in language unlocks massive transformation as you heal from porn.
If you want help processing your past, apply for a free coaching session with me at www.drewboa.com
Discover your personal attachment style, how it affects your sexuality, and how it can be changed!
For much of the content in this episode, I am indebted to The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast, hosted by Adam Young.
Download Adam's excellent attachment worksheet here.
For daily advice, follow me on Instagram
Find out how God healed Trevor Winsor from love addiction!
Get the full video interview at husbandmaterial.com/trevor.
Trevor Winsor hosts the Pure Desire Podcast. Connect with him on Instagram @trevormwinsor and @puredesirepdmi.
For free daily advice, follow me on Instagram @husbandmaterialmen.
Underneath every sexual struggle, there is a little child who needs love. This episode will show you how to be a father to your younger self.
For daily advice, follow me on Instagram
Multiple listeners have asked me to address the topic of same-sex attraction.
This episode is my response. It's not a lecture. It's an invitation to listen to your story.
Get the Unwanted Digital Workbook here: https://www.unwantedworkbook.com
Connect with me on Instagram @husbandmaterialmen.
Your sexual fantasies are not random. They are telling the story of your heart. Listen to that story and your fantasies will lose their power!
Watch The Sexual Fantasy Framework Video Series here: https://husbandmaterial.com/fantasy
For daily advice, follow me on Instagram
Frank Rich destroyed his laptop to remove access to porn. What happened next?
Find out on today's episode!
You can connect with Frank on Instagram @thesuperhumanfrank.
You can connect with me on Instagram @husbandmaterialmen.
Learn how to decide whether to tell your parents about porn—and a formula for EXACTLY what to say to them.
Get your Top 10 Tools To Quit Porn In 2020 here.
For daily advice, follow me on Instagram
Get the facts so you can stop believing lies you hear in middle school locker rooms.
For daily advice, follow me on Instagram
Discover your current level of freedom from porn, and how to reach the next level up.
LEVEL 1: MISERY
LEVEL 2: MOTIVATION
LEVEL 3: MATURITY
LEVEL 4: MASTERY
For daily advice, follow me on Instagram
Find out how God gave Rocky Pisor deep healing from shame after revealing the sexual trauma he endured as a boy.
Connect with Rocky Pisor at www.regener8mentoring.com/
Stop fighting your sexual desires so you can express them in healthy and holy ways.
Watch my new free video series with Jay Stringer:
THE SEXUAL FANTASY FRAMEWORK
For daily advice, follow me on Instagram
Use this simple strategy to unpack your sexual and emotional triggers at a deeper level.
Get the full video and the free F.L.O.S.S. worksheet at husbandmaterial.com/11
Ben Bennett was addicted to porn...then he was addicted to sexual purity. Discover how God delivered him from both addictions to experience true satisfaction, intimacy, and wholeness!
Ben is a speaker with JoshMcDowell Ministries. He is the author of Living Free and the Flesh Series. Connect with Ben on Instagram @benvbennett.
Get the full video interview at husbandmaterial.com/ben.
For daily advice, follow me @husbandmaterialmen.
If you're on the fence about quitting porn, this episode is for you.
The 10 most powerful motivations to quit porn:
- For Yourself
- For Your Brain
- For Your Body
- For Your Values
- For Your Faith
- For Your Marriage
- For Your Family
- For Your Career
- For Your Calling
- For Your Legacy
Check out more reasons to quit porn by visiting
https://www.brainheartworld.org
In less than 10 minutes, I will try my best to convince you of this one thing:
Your struggle with porn is not your fault.
Don't believe me? Start listening...
It's not your fault. It's your responsibility.
Find out how God gave Cooper freedom from porn to prepare him for marriage, ministry, and fatherhood.
Get the video interview here:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/cooper
Follow me @husbandmaterialmen
When you feel out of control, use these 3 strategies to regulate your brain and body:
- Oxygen: Breathe Deeply.
- Attention: Notice Sensations.
- Attachment: Find A Safe Person.
Download the FREE Self-Control Worksheet:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/8
Follow me! @husbandmaterialmen
Wondering what you should do with your allies? Here are 13 ideas!
Here's the exact worksheet I use for weekly check-ins:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/checkin
And here's the book I mentioned: Unwanted, by Jay Stringer
https://www.amazon.com/Unwanted-Sexual-Brokenness-Reveals-Healing/dp/1631466720
Learn 10 ways to find awesome allies (online and in-person) WITHOUT the awkwardness.
🤵🏼🤵🏽🤵🏻Come visit our FREE community:
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Get New Material Every Week:
✏️ https://husbandmaterial.com/blog
🎙️ https://husbandmaterial.com/podcast
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Got questions? Email hello@husbandmaterial.com
If you've ever been troubled by your sexual dreams, this quick episode is for you!
Here are my favorite Bible verses to keep me safe from spiritual attack while sleeping:
Psalm 4:8
"I will lie down and sleep in peace for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
Psalm 63:6
"On my bed I remember You. I think of You through the watches of the night. Because You are my help, I will rejoice in the shadow of your wings."
Check out The Sexual Fantasy Framework here:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/fantasy
I'll share 6 myths about masturbation, 3 truths to hold onto, and my #1 tip on what to do!
Wondering if your version of masturbation is healthy or not?
Take my new free quiz: The Masturbation Meter
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/m
I'll tell you about my worst relapse ever, and how I avoided another one when my son died.
This episode was recorded LIVE in the Husband Material Community!
Want to join us for the next one?
Get notified about future LIVE episodes by joining our community here:
http://www.husbandmaterialmen.com
Here's the message I delivered at Messiah College Chapel.
Culture inside the church promotes "repressed sexuality."
Culture outside the church promotes "released sexuality."
Jesus offers us something different: redeemed sexuality!
You can buy the book, Redeemed Sexuality, here:
https://www.amazon.com/Redeemed-Sexuality-Sessions-Transformation-Community/dp/0830821279
Check out my old Redeemed Sexuality Podcast here:
https://soundcloud.com/redeemedsexuality
Question: What accountability software should I use?
Answer: Replace your stressful sexual surveillance with holy sensuality!
But what about you...
What's your #1 question about how to quit porn?
Share your suggestions here:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/idea
You might just be featured on a future episode!
Here's the interview with Patrick Carnes that helped me overcome sexual self-hatred:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1pQfGD_MQI
Here's the book I published, Redeemed Sexuality:
https://www.amazon.com/Redeemed-Sexuality-Sessions-Transformation-Community/dp/0830821279
Here's where you can apply for a free coaching session with me:
www.drewboa.com
After sharing 3 ways to accelerate your freedom from porn, at the end of the episode, Drew will share his #1 secret to long-term sexual sobriety.
Download The FREE Porn-Free Path Checklist here: https://husbandmaterial.com/2
In this episode, I'll help you replace your new year's resolution to quit porn with something better... a small-yet-powerful action step you probably haven’t been doing!
Along the way, you’ll hear my personal predictions for 2020, and some wisdom from Star Wars Episode IX.
Got an idea for what you want to hear on this podcast?
Let us know at https://husbandmaterial.com/idea.
Have you ever felt like your smartphone is holding you back from quitting porn?
In this episode, you'll learn 5 ways your phone phone can actually help you quit porn. You'll transform your phone from part of the problem into part of the solution!
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/1
Five Ways Your Smartphone Can Help You Quit Porn:
1. STAY ON TRACK
Asana: https://asana.com
Harvest: https://getharvest.com
2. CALL A FRIEND
Fortify: https://joinfortify.com
rTribe: https://rtribe.org
3. JOIN A GROUP
Pure Desire Online Groups: https://groups.puredesire.org/public/groups
Husband Material Community: https://www.husbandmaterial.com/men
Husband Material Group Coaching: https://www.husbandmaterial.com/group/
4. TAKE A COURSE
Redeemed Sexuality Digital Workbook: https://redeemedsexuality.com
The Freedom Fight: https://thefreedomfight.org
Journey Into The Heart Of Man: https://heartofmanjourney.com
5. HIRE A PRO
Apply for a free coaching session with Drew Boa: https://www.drewboa.com
For more ideas, check out my Top 10 Tools To Quit Porn In 2020: https://www.husbandmaterial.com/top10tools
Welcome to the Husband Material Podcast, where we help Christian men outgrow porn so you can change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship. My name is Drew Boa, and I'm here to show you how.