Serve Conscious: Recent Episodes
Stefan Ravalli
Nothing determines service success more than mindset. Whether you're a service-based organization or service-driven professional, this is where you can master the inner game of customer service so you can tap into the fullest power of the service opportunity. Here you'll learn the customer service skills that no one is teaching, allowing you to truly impact your customer's lives (and your own): presence, wellness, connection and affirmation. These tools don't just 10x service capability and success, but also the joy, growth and fulfillment that the service exchange can offer you and your team.
Learn what mindset really is and how it can (and must) be applied beyond just learning and performance. It was actually inspired by Stanford psychologist Dr. Alia Crum's study of hotel workers that revealed how an instantaneous perspective shift can occur from a simple suggestion. You'll be amazed at the profound impact that the team's new mindset had on the physiological level - and hopefully become inspired to try planting similar seeds with your service team.
We discuss...
- The unexpected ways that mindset is influenced in your organization.
- How the simple ways in which you listen and ask questions can effect mindset.
- The gradual and instantaneous ways that unhealthy mindsets can be shifted.
- General praise-filled announcements aren't enough - understand the importance of individual connection in positively influencing your team members' mindsets.
- The role of mindset in creating a culture of true safety where everyone feels inspired to share mistakes, struggles and differing opinions.
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It seems like there's a lot that can go wrong when implementing something like mindfulness, coaching, or any mental wellness modality into your workplace culture. You might be thinking, "What if everyone thinks it's weird ?" or "What if they don't like the facilitator?" or "What if they're tired of trainings and just don't wanna show up?"
This episode answers all of these questions, and more, discussing creative (and sometimes surprising) solutions to these common uncertainties. We explore things like...
- How to have a remote program for team members that are burnt out of Zoom.
- The role of discomfort in practice, well, anything providing mental wellness.
- How to evaluate whether a problem with the program is actually a problem.
- The value of culture-matching your facilitators.
- How to make mental wellness less serious and, potentially, more fun.
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Do you do a one-off workshop or offer continuous support? Do you offer mindfulness, coaching or some other brain-tweaking modality? Do you bring in a third party or give your team the training to build an in-house program?
If you're looking to begin a mental wellness program in your organization, these are good questions to be asking. Each organization has a unique culture with its own wellness needs so knowing determining the right fit for you is the name of the game.
- Why should you even bother doing this in the first place? Good question. We explore the importance of articulating your mental wellness mission before initiating your program.
- The right kind of space to create so that your team will get the most benefit out of the program.
- How far into wellness do you need to go to get real results? We explore how to easily (and affordably) make it part of your culture.
- How to extract the most benefit from any third party teacher or coach that enters your organization.
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We live in a time where it never feels like there's enough mental energy to go around. A big part of my mission is certainly to help people build more of this energy so that can be happier, healthier and more successful. But on the other side of this equation is the importance of acknowledging the limited inner resources of others. You can make an extraordinary difference in your relationship with a team member or customer by acknowledging the effort put into simple every day tasks.
This episode gets into the powerful strategies you can use to build a service culture, retain your best players and ultimately provide a smoother experience for your customers. All from simply accounting for the fact that we humans have limited time on this earth and how we spend it actually matters.
Highlights:
- People are drawn to other people and experiences that: 1) demand less energy from them 2) appreciate the energy that they do put in.
- The existential crises that your older team members might be facing and how you can prevent them from thinking you're the reason for it.
- How TV's Ted Lasso can teach us how to influence through kindness and validation
- How generosity pays off in the long run.
- The Serve Conscious mission is re-focusing its mission on only organizational challenges (not individual professional challenges - stay tuned for the Professional People Pleaser Podcast, which will focus solely on those areas).
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Maybe you say "yes" to too much, or pick up the slack of negligent co-workers, or get pushed around by customers or managers. Feelings of resentment are probably one of the most common experiences in the workplace that nobody wants to deal with. Why? Maybe we don't like our resentful selves. We'd rather not feel so petty, grumpy and victimized as it concerns our daily commitments.
But what happens when we don't like a feeling? You guessed it: we avoid it! It doesn't get the attention and healing it needs and it continues to fester. So I wanted to dedicate this episode to the specific tendencies we have to perform tasks resentfully and work on them using our mindful self-coaching skills. You might learn...
- Resentment is a spectacular opportunity to learn about our values, relational tendencies, communication habits, and general sense of freedom.
- The feeling of resentment isn't necessarily the problem as much as the STORY that comes with it - so we'll learn just how to deal with such mental stories.
- Game-changing ways of saying no, making requests and dealing with what appear to be unavoidable demands.
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I think this is the perfect holiday practice and also has a profound impact on the people-management skills you need for true service (AKA: the part that really counts). I challenge you to practice it using the person in your life that you find most different from you, most difficult to understand, or just straight-up most annoying.
This is a practice that uses visualization and intention-setting to prepare your mind for whatever all the crazy humans in your life might throw at you, making you better at automatically responding in a more compassionate, patient and understanding way. it works wonders for healing difficult relationships and for managing difficult customers. Although the full practice (minus the brief and de-brief in this recording) is around 10 minutes, you can shorten it to mean your time constraints.
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The holidays provide an opportunity to connect to the aspects of service that are truly meaningful to you. And this is the key to really serving to your highest potential: doing what makes YOU feel good (not just what you think you have to do). This episode shows you how to go beyond just the transactional job requirements of service and access your natural motivation to serve REGARDLESS of what you're getting out of it.
Also discussed...
- How to respect your customer's/client's individuality while still attempting to guide them towards their best interests.
- How to make a REAL new year's resolution (that will also lead to sustainable change to your life of service).
- How make service feel more meaningful.
- How pride in your work can lead to snobby mindsets that alienate you from your customers.
- How inner resentment of your customers can affect them even if it's bottled up.
- Why you need to become an expert on your own life and how that will help you serve others (especially those that appear to make the worst possible decisions for themselves).
Next episode:
A guided "Just Like Me" practice that preps your mind to connect to almost anyone - even if you seem to have nothing in common - and allows you to get more out of serving them.
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If a customer or colleague is being unkind, why do we insist on feeling personally attacked by it? Well, we're designed to. We can try as hard as we want to not take things personally, but we all know that never works. So what do we do? You're going to learn a much different approach to keeping your sense of self from getting affected by someone else's foul mood so you can continue to perform and enjoy your service-oriented work.
We'll learn...
- Why most of the advice your friends/colleagues/bosses give you after you've been attacked by a customer simply doesn't work - and what you need to do instead.
- Communication skills that get you out of your own head and into understanding where the attacks are coming from in the first place.
- How to stop missing opportunities to raise your self-worth and become more resilient to challenging interactions.
- Ways you need to start being your own support system.
- How to embrace taking something personally in a way that actually totally defuses its intensity.
Goes Well With...How to Let Things Go
Mindful Communication w/ Oren Jay Sofer
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Do you find yourself making assumptions, criticisms or unfair evaluations of the people you serve or work with? These ideas may just float by your mind and remain internal, or they'll slip out at the wrong time and wound a relationship. Either way, being judgmental might feel like it really gets in the way of your success and happiness. Be sure to listen to the end of this episode since you're going to be left with powerfully simple methods to master your judgmental mind. Expect to learn:
- That you can't control judgment, and trying to stop it can be counterproductive (I know, I know, I answer all those, "What the heck do I do instead?!" questions, don't worry).
- How awareness is your most powerful ally and how you can start building proper awareness skills.
- How mistaken judgments can be used to your advantage.
- The key to have the best relationship to your thoughts - even the really unhelpful ones.
- How judgmental tendencies make you more self-critical - and what to do about it.
- How judgmental thinking isn't just about being overly negative about someone. (Wait, can you actually be too positive? We'll talk about).
Goes Well With...How "what" questions can often be more useful than "why" questions.
Self-Worth, Gratitude & How to Make Service Feel Like A Privilege | Ep. 102
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Loved having a dialogue-style session with my homie Neal Woodson, who was kind enough to return to jam out on some of our mutually-beloved topics like empathy/compassion, service cultures, dealing with difficult humans, and how to help professionals feel empowered to serve to their highest potential.
Other questions we chewed on...
- Are we getting more empathetic/compassionate as a society?
- How has COVID made us better at understanding the people we serve?
- How can “seeing the iceberg” transform your ability to service people that are suffering?
- Why should you be grateful when you’re stuck in traffic?
- Why are people inspired to work at Disney (sometimes unconditionally)?
- Should a company be customer first or employee first? (Spoiler alert: you’re asking the wrong question).
Find Neal here one his website.
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"Ummmmmm, excuse me? I thought you always start with 'Why?'"
I know, I know - sorry Simon Sinek fans. Him and all those other Why-seekers out there are not misguided, they just maybe haven't experienced the volatility and unreliability of 'Why?' questions. In this episode I wanted to talk about contacting the purpose that drives your service and the key foundation of awareness that's good to have before the 'why's' are able to take you anyway.
What the heck am I talking about?
- The importance of connecting to the feeling of purpose - a profoundly more effective way of approaching purpose than looking at is as an objective or a reason. True purpose is not always reasonable.
- How to familiarize yourself with the truly meaningful drivers of the work you do so you can create maximum impact, happiness and fulfillment.
- How to avoid the uncertainty and abstraction that exploring 'Why?' can create.
- When to check in with and re-evaluate expired 'Why's.
- How to use your past pain to heal and help others.
Goes Well With...Service Prep Practice | Mobilize Your Inner Service Superhero
Win By Letting Go of Service Outcomes | Ep. 111
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What a great conversation with a fellow service superhero, Molly Bruttomesso of Wunderkind, a company that's become a darling of the digital marketing world and seems to remain in a continual phase of blossoming.
We covered a lot of ground around organizational culture, professional growth, true customer support, and more, so I definitely recommend this episode if you are a service leader or a service professional looking to grow into your potential. Some of the points we covered included:
- The importance of supporting the individuality and humanity of your team.
- Honoring the particular strengths of your people reveals that the bubbly personality traits that are stereotypically associated with service are not necessarily what determines a great professional (and how, in fact, the opposite is often true).
- How setting weekly mantras can be more effective than weekly goals.
- How true professional growth sometimes doesn't require seeking the next promotion.
- Mindfulness and meditation practices that are actually relevant to the workplace (and life in general).
Roads That Lead to Molly
Connect w/ Molly (LinkedIn)
Work for Wunderkind - they are growing and need awesome people like you!
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This guided practice combines a lot of tools into one big activation of your very best qualities. By envisioning yourself handling challenges, creating positive impact and generally being the person your want to show up as, the mind will begin to habitually think, act and crush it as the superhero you already know you are.
To maximize this session...
- Find a comfortable spot, where you won't be disturbed. (Do NOT attempt this while driving).
- Hit play.
- Follow the instructions.
- Embrace doing any aspect of it "imperfectly."
The main stages of the practice look like this...
- Focusing the mind.
- Understanding your current emotional state.
- Envisioning your service superhero self.
- Feeling embodied in this fully-realized version of yourself.
- Visualization yourself thriving in challenges and creating positive impact.
- Setting the intention to embody more of your service superhero self throughout the day.
Practice this before service or a big moment you want to feel super prepared for. Once you get the hang of it, you can dip into shortened versions of it, but as much of the full journey as possible is ideal since it prepares the mind for optimal visualization and intention-setting capabilities.
Note: Planning to later add a script so you can pick and choose sections in the event that you're ever short on time.
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As service professionals, our work gets super-powered by the need to help others, bring happiness, solve problems, etc. The problem is: we get so latched onto these outcomes manifesting that we get crushed by things not turning out how we want. What to do? You can't control people's disappointing responses to our good service intentions. But if we let go of our need for positive outcomes, we may lose the very spark that motivates us!
Guess what...
- Letting go is an art that you simply haven't been taught properly.
- When and where we aim our "letting go energy" is everything.
- You can still double down on setting really lofty intentions for a good service outcome if you learn some tricks for adapting to the outcome.
- You can't force letting go...so stop trying.
- Letting go actually involves the most surprising and counterintuitive approach to our minds that you imagine.
- Mindfulness makes this all happen beautifully (P.S. It's easy and I end up teaching it to you on the fly in about 90 seconds).
Goes Well With...
You'll Never Make Anyone Happy
Karma Yoga (Article)
Karma Yoga (Podcast)
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Relationships to customers are everything - same with relationships to coworkers, friends, family and (maybe most of all) ourselves. This episode looks at the inevitability of stress - especially in a role as stressful as service - and how to not only be able to handle the discomfort of it, but also rise to meet the challenges ahead of you.
This one is part of a continuing series on stress and, though it stands alone, you can listen to the first part here.
Inside:
- What stress really is - and how often you experience it - may surprise you.
- Do we really need stress to perform?
- How your mind prolongs what would otherwise be a short stress reaction - and how to hack that programming.
- How stress compromises your judgment, awareness and general humanity - and to prevent it from taking over your mind.
- How to use stress as a call to adapt to change.
Complementary:
Free Mindfulness Course - Master That Human Thing!
Guided Practice: Self-Compassion
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What would service life be like if stress wasn't a problem? Thus begins a series tackling the obstacle to service success that is so pervasive, its influence cannot be understated.
Inside:
- Stress release: effective and ineffective ways to actually get the stress out of your physiology.
- Keeping stress from messing up your work life is not just a matter of "reducing" it, but becoming resilient to it.
- How stress affects you and lives in your body - and what you can do about it.
- The positives and negatives of "letting your anger out" - are there alternatives?
Complementary...
Previous Episode: The Struggles of Holding in Our Pain & Performing the "Happy" Customer Service Role
Upcoming Free Mindfulness Course - Master That Human Thing!
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Service professionals are especially required to show that they are in pleasant emotional states - cheerful, calm, friendly, etc. But when you're not feeling that way, it's often difficult and straining to fake these emotions. This episode talks about these struggles of "Emotional Labor" and how to emerge victorious in what can often feel like a miserable trap of performance expectations.
You'll learn...
- How to get better at feeling unpleasant emotions and the surprising positive impact that it has on our emotional state.
- What real authenticity is - it's not what you think.
- When empathy can work against you.
- How to cultivate compassion for customers.
- A powerful visualization practice that allows you to genuinely become more of the person you want to be so that you can more readily summon authentic emotions when you need them.
- How to bring the right intentions to everything you do.
Do This Too!Self-Compassion Practice - feel what you're feeling!
Free yourself from any ideas of being obligated.
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Important stuff we make sure you walk away with in this episode...
- No more fear of being "selfish". Selflessness is not what you think it is.
- The importance of understanding and meeting your needs (as well as your customers'/coworkers'/employers')
- Do you feel "forced" to serve a certain way (by clients or management? Here's how to work with this.
- How to make everything feel voluntary (esp. service!) - AKA: like it's your choice. Freedom is a mindset!
- The importance of boundaries (personal and professional) in order to be the service master you can be.
- Why you also need to keep the macro-aspect aspect of your service game in mind.
As promised, some complementary content...Upcoming Free Mindfulness Course - Master That Human Thing!
Serving Mindfully = Understanding How Free You Are
Go Deeper Into the Mindful Service Movement:
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Do you think that the principles of running an organization and the best practices of piloting a commercial jet are an unlikely combo for a leadership guide? You won't think so by the end of this discussion with dynamic duo Octavian Pantis and Emil G Dobrovolschi. They share pearls of wisdom from the book they recently co-authored, Dark Cockpit: How to Communicate, Lead, and Be in Control at All Times Like an Airline Captain.
Get ready to learn some interesting and powerful new perspectives on communication and leadership practices!
Inside The CockpitWhy good leaders do as little as possible during a crisis (wait, what?).
How to create better learning environments by forcing mistakes.
How to be more supportive, patient and understanding, even in high stakes environments.
How to work fluidly and intimately with an ever-changing team.Don't underestimate the power of briefings - learn how to actually nail the art of information your team (or speaking up as a teammember).
How to communicate like nothing can be assumed (because it can't be). Use repetition and redundancy to make people feel understood.
The BookDark Cockpit: How to Communicate, Lead, and Be in Control at All Times Like an Airline Captain
This is EmilLinkedIn
This is OctavianLinkedIn Go Deeper Into the Mindful Service Movement:
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Being able to connect with people and navigate a social situation is not a “have it or you don’t” quality. It’s a learnable skill that gets nurtured by surprisingly simple practices. In this episode you’ll get connected with some of the ways that I broke out of emotional illiteracy.
You’ll also learn ...
- How to build your social capabilities without learning “charisma tricks”.
- How restoring your mental and emotional health is the root structure of social competency in service.
- A 3-step process for shifting a bad work situation from something you’re simply “surviving” to something you actually have the power to change.
- How to give more balanced service by pulling back on an area that you commonly over-deliver on and give more to an area that you often miss.
- How mastering your emotional life is at the core of mastering your customer’s emotional life.
- What it means when you’ve been “working on yourself”, but some old emotional pattern shows itself.
Further Assistance:
Guides: Meditation that works for anybody plus a meditation that I think particularly transforms your emotional and social range.
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An inspiring discussion with Kass Thomas, entrepreneur, coach and communication expert. Learn how to discover and pursue what lights you up (it might be so natural that you don't even notice it).
Other riches inside:
- The effect that work culture and management has on the ultimate experience of the customer.
- How to stop devaluing the contribution you make to others through the work you do.
- How to own your role rather than worrying about your status.
- Presence = there are no bad experiences.
- How the definition of "work" is different in other countries and what this tells us about what work has to be.
All roads that lead to Kass Thomas:
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Instagram
Facebook
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I'm very excited to share this conversation with Kenneth Starr, who served as solicitor general of the United States from 1989-1993. Though he's probably best known for leading the perjury investigation of president Bill Clinton from 1994-98, he may not be as well known for his lifelong work as a public servant and legal education leader. Currently, he serves on the boards of Christian Legal Society, Advocates International and Alliance Defending Freedom. Throughout his career, he has championed the cause of religious liberty and freedom of conscience for all persons.
We gathered mainly to discuss his book Religious Liberty in Crisis: Exercising Your Faith in an Age of Uncertainty, which is a very rich account of the constitutionally protected nature of religious practice in America (even though he himself is a practicing Christian, the book emphasizes the freedom available to all all religions, from Shamanic to Islamic).
The discussion spoke to my lifelong fascination with religion and belief systems as well as my more recent explorations of public service.
Key Points
- What makes something an "essential" service? See how COVID revealed America's priorities when governments shut down synagogues, churches and temples, but kept chain stores, casinos and liquor stores firing on all cylinders.
- How we need to rediscover the importance of maintaining a religiously diverse society.
- How to make space for people with different world views.
- The value of having some sort of faith as a catalyst for truly serving your community.
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This week we talk about the belief responsible for continuous and untold damage to your workplace well-being:
"I am looked down upon and not respected."
This belief is all-too-common - and understandable - in service-oriented roles so having the tools to kill the negative impact of it is super game-changing. I show you some simple techniques, plus more!
Recommended Pairings:Podcast Episode: Next-Level Gratitude Practices That’ll Fill Your Service Tank
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Don't miss this talk. I mean, c'mon, it's with the twin engines of human potential, Mark Victor Hansen and Crystal Dwyer Hansen. Individually they're authors and coaches that have set world records, transformed businesses, and imbued countless people with the tools they need for true health, happiness and success. Together, they're the co-authors of their first (of many, I'm sure) joint publication Ask!: The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny.
Our discussion centers around the book's main objective: helping you recover the lost art of asking the right questions. What are the right questions to ask? Well, you'll have to listen to find out, but here's a spoiler: they're the questions that 1) direct your life towards its highest purpose and 2) allow you to be an agent to help others do the same.
Why this discussion was awesome:
- They show us actual techniques where you can use the asking process meditatively in order to begin thinking and perceiving on a higher level.
- You'll learn how to discern wise thoughts from unhelpful thoughts.
- They'll reveal the power of storytelling as a means of understanding and overcoming your own challenges.
- You'll learn why we, as humans, tend to suck at asking and how to drop the common hangups that get in the way of our fullest potential.
- You can see how to be successful, inspirational and masterful at whatever work you do no matter where "on the ladder" your role is.
All Roads That Lead to Mark & Crystal
Mark Victor Hansen
Crystal Dwyer Hansen
Order the Book: Ask!: The Bridge from Your Dreams to Your Destiny
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For this milestone episode, I share some love for you my listeners and also my inspiration for creating this podcast. And also...
- Awareness practices that make others want to be around you.
- What I learned from the art of interviewing and how you can transform your daily (non-podcasting) life with the same skills.
- How to notice when your comfort zone has snuck up on you - and break out of it!
- How reflective writing really works.
- How you can bring the badassery of Joe Rogan to your service game.
- The power of playing the supportive role.
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An eye-opening conversation with Dr. John Demartini, human behavior specialist who's authored over 40 books in 38 languages - many of which are international bestsellers.
He's presented his vision of human potential alongside some of the world's most elite leaders thinkers and leaders - from Wayne Dyer to Sir Richard Branson. He's been on Larry King Live, CNN, CNBC, and is a contributor to Oprah Magazine and hundreds of other magazines.
But his lifelong mission has also taken him to underserved and impoverished communities, providing tools to thrive in challenging circumstances. The stories he tells are moving and motivating. Check it out and learn along with me!
All Roads to Dr. John DemartiniHomepage
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If you think you're a bad communicator, then fear not, communication is a learned skill. And my guest Dan Huston has found that after 20+ years of teaching it: you can't learn how to really, deeply speak and listen (emphasis on the "listen") without learning how to do it mindfully.
Hope you can catch our amazing conversation where we discuss things like:
- The importance of self-awareness (physical and mental) while communicating with others.
- True communication is not about having a prepared script for everyone situation.
- Why you can trust yourself to have a good response available without planning what to say while someone else is talking.
- How "soft skills" like communication are priceless in even the most technical jobs.
- Mindfulness transforms how you ascribe blame in any dynamic.
All Roads That Lead to Dan Huston:Dan's SiteDan's Communication ProgramDan's TEDx Talk
Dan's Book: "Communicating Mindfully"
Wow, Another TEDx Talk!
Faithful Sidekicks:
Say What You Mean: Interview / Oren Jay Sofer
The Work of David Treleaven (Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness)
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
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Get Access to the live workshops and master the service mindset
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Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
We've talked about the power of gratitude in elevating our service game (while bringing greater happiness to our lives in general). Now we're going to learn how to be gratitude masters with these high-octane approaches to living with appreciation.
Inside:
- How to practice gratitude so it feels honest and brings real results.
- The different made by practicing gratitude on hard-mode.
- SoF: Sense of Fullness - what it is and how it determines service success and professional growth.
- How to challenge yourself to choose a different route than the usual complaints.
- Why you have the same qualities as people you think are way more awesome and saintly than you are.
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Get Access to the live workshops and master the service mindset
Join the Facebook Community
Follow Me on Instagram
Connect with me on LinkedIn
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
So fortunate that Ron Kaufman could offer me some of his time and wisdom for a superpowered conversation around his lifelong mission to transform how organizations serve. I first discovered him in reading his best-selling book Uplifting Service, which I now consider required reading for anyone looking to make their organization have extraordinary - from the interior culture to the final product.
He looks at the system of service in a particularly holistic way - every dimension matters and can be continually fine-tuned like a luxury automobile. One could call him a thought leader in "the art of blowing customers away" or perhaps "hitting the always-moving target of being an exceptional service provider."
Discussed (Among Many Other Things):
The future of work is a service-oriented landscape. Learn how "serving, caring and loving" puts you on the leading edge.
True service is the kind that is authentic - the person serving actually cares and wants to help. The right and wrong ways companies go about trying to cultivate authentic service in their team.
How to build more warmth and humanity into your service game - regardless of how gravely functional your product is and at how large of a scale you deliver it.
The most effective ways that companies can start evolving their culture to support their team’s growth and development as service professionals.
All Roads That Lead to Ron Kaufman:ronkaufman.com
LinkedIn Page
Faithful Sidekicks:
Bringing Humanity Back to Large Scale Service
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Get Access to the live workshops and master the service mindset
Join the Facebook Community
Follow Me on Instagram
Connect with me on LinkedIn
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
This is a short guided practice that I consider to be martial arts training for emotional resilience. You’re basically exercising attention and feeling capacity as though it’s a muscle.
You can do this:
- After work, if you find you need to shake off difficult situations that are still clinging to you.
- You can also start your day with it as a morning meditation to build a state of calm, compassion, well-being and generosity, but also toughness in the face of discomfort and conflict.
- This can be done in the middle of the day if you have an opportunity to get away and reboot your hard drive.
- In-action as a shortened mindfulness practice rather than a formal meditation practice that you need to isolate yourself for.
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Get Access to the live workshops and master the service mindset
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Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
What does it look like when the organization you're employed at supports every aspect of your inner growth? What's required to do ensure that this strategy produces an extraordinarily successful business (versus a disastrous one)?
This episode looks at:
- The cost of hiding our inner selves from our workplace.
- Pretending we're awesome and performing on the surface is not enough.
- How our success is most affected by the deepest struggles we bring to our jobs.
- How you can continue to professionally grow if you don't work at an organization that supports your inner growth.
- Practices you can do with a partner or on your own to clear out your obstacles to professional presence and growth.
Also: Check out the Upcoming webcast with the Institute for Organizational Mindfulness.
Faithful Sidekicks:
Download: Chart of Human Needs + Emotions
Podcast Episode: Navigate Human Need
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Get Access to the live workshops and master the service mindset
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Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Is service something that you either just naturally have an affinity for or not? In this episode, we continue to explore the reality that everything is learnable. We know that service learnable, but how is its fulfilling nature equally learnable? After introducing The Service Mindset in the previous episode, we get into how to actually develop this service mindset.
We discuss techniques to...
- Make service feel meaningful again.
- Connect with the kinds of ways you want to serve.
- Make all the work you do feel like volunteer work.
- Cultivate one of the most powerful service skills: the beginner's mind.
- Become better at learning - even if you've been in the same environment for a long time.
- Use meditation and mindfulness to develop your service mindset.
Recommended Pairings:
The Beginner's Mind
The Service Mindset
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Get Access to the live workshops and master the service mindset
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Service is natural and yet every aspect of it is learnable. Understand the mindset that assures success, growth and fulfillment in service.
This article about The Service Mindset gets into more detail. Here's a list of features of these mindsets...
The growth mindset in service...
- Service can be mastered, but requires the same persistent effort and presence with the process as any other skill.
- Mastery of service occurs in proportion to mastery of myself.
- Service is an opportunity to become my best possible self.
- Growth is nourished by openly meeting service challenges.
- Resilience, effort, grit and adaptability are my greatest resources.
- Just as the growth mindset doesn’t require ego-gratifying performances for it to be meaningful for me, my role doesn’t require ego-gratifying service opportunities.
- It’s not about proving myself, impressing others, being accepted or deemed valuable, but my willingness to meet every service opportunity head-on.
- Growth is made most possible by a sense of service to something greater than my own ego.
- I’m on a lifelong journey of development. I’m always in-process and always have something to learn (from sometimes the most unexpected places)
How the service mindset can take the growth mindset even further...
- Anyone can love service – all they need is the right service context that reveals its value in a way that resonates with this particular person. Will any other skill (weaving, basketball, computer science, corporate leadership), you need to actually have an affinity for it to apply the growth mindset to it. With service, you just need to find the context that is right for you.
- Service itself offers meaning and fulfillment rather than just the improvement of myself and my skill set.
- Service makes the growth process especially inviting since the growth journey now also involves positively impacting others.
- Even with the right mindset, the growth process can sometimes feel solitary and isolated. With service, my journey of self-mastery becomes shared with others – their needs, hopes and struggles are revealed to be interconnected with my own.
- I’m always in-process, always becoming, but always worthy of equal care and love as my craft – and those I serve.
- The energy I’d put into my own success/happiness will just as readily be offered to others – in fact, it’s usually more gratifying to do so.
- Every moment is an opportunity to live the growth-through-service process, not just the areas where you’re deliberately training, learning or even on the job.
- The value of having an open, embracing self-image that’s always available to learning is not just valuable for your own development, but the capacity to truly show up for others.
- Even if I found another role that isn’t directly service-oriented, service is still at play. Service is always at play and always where growth and fulfillment is possible.
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
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Get Access to the live workshops and master the service mindset
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This superpower will...
- Allow you to resonate with and skillfully communicate with others.
- Change your habits in how you respond to people when they are "being difficult", making you less reactive and more patient and understanding
- Develop emotional intelligence, resilience to challenges, compassion, and understanding.
- Develop inner happiness - things like compassion inspire surprisingly levels of happiness in the people practicing it.
Stage 1: Setup
- Find a quiet place to sit.
- Close your eyes (or just unfix them from focusing on anything).
- Just try and move your attention from your thoughts to your body breathing.
- See if you can slow and deepen your breathing.
- Select the your target (you'll be visualizing them). There are options:
- Someone you’re currently struggling with (colleague or customer).
- Someone that really bothered you (colleague or customer).
- Everyone you might serve today (as a big crowd of people).
- Everyone you ever served (as a crowd).
Stage 2: Mimicry
Repeat these phrases to yourself, keep your object in mind:
- This person/people needs to feel safe and healthy, just like me.
- They need to feel free, just like me.
- They need love and belonging, just like me.
- They need to feel joy - just like me.
- They need honesty and integrity - just like me.
- They need life to make sense - just like me.
- They need to feel like they matter - just like me.
- They need peace and relief from struggle - just like me.
- Throughout, also keep your awareness in your body and notice the feelings that the practice brings up.
- This sequence can be repeated as much as is necessary.
- Switch objects as necessary.
Stage 3: Kindness Power
Keeping your object in mind, send them good will in the form of phrases like the following:
- May you be happy.
- May you be healthy.
- May you have what you need.
- May you be free of struggle and pain.
- Repeat as often as you have time for.
- Try and put as much feeling and intention of care and goodwill behind the phrases.
- Note when the phrases get empty and repetitive - return to the feeling of care.
- If you find that you’re unable to care or that your mind is arguing against behind kind to your object(s), then this is totally normal and a sign of successful practice.
- Keep doing it.
Important: remember to do this practice on yourself as well.
If you've read the great service book Setting the Table, you might be familiar with Danny Meyer's "Collecting Dots" Principle. When I began to realize that the most important aspect of my own service game was my capacity for awareness, I asked myself, "How can that be applied to the inner game of Service as well?"
Inside:
- How to trust yourself to handle uncomfortable situations.
- What happens when you collect information openly, readily and fearlessly.
- The mindset that allows you to learn, grow, and evolve - even from familiar every day situations!
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Get Access to the live workshops and master the service mindset
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“If you know you have something to give, you have personal power no matter what.”
-Clifton Carmody
Such a profound discussion with a former hospitality leader who now coaches leaders to achieve "purpose, peace and profit in life and business". He was just named Business Insiders top 20 mindful thought leaders to follow into 2021. Somehow, in his spare time, he also manages the renowned Tsultrim Allione's Buddhist meditation center in Colorado. Such a great opportunity to tap into the wisdom of true agent of conscious business.
And listen for a very special and insanely generous offer from Clifton - all you have to do is email him and mention the show.
In this discussion...
- How a brief encounter with the Dalai Lama resulted in his discovery of the truest, most unexpected way that he could be of service to the world.
- How to compassionately lead and still be firm and effectively - and the success it will bring you.
- What happens when you shake off fear-based management styles that (we've been conditioned to accept by industrial revolution thinking) and tap into the possibility and profitability of conscious business principles in the service sector.
- "We don't need more monks, we just need more business leaders that are caring." How to care for employees during lockdown and the economic stress of the hospitality industry.
- How to re-apply service skills to other career paths and thrive during a period where so many service sectors - especially hospitality-oriented - have been compromised.
- How the principles of service recovery (weaving magic from mishap) in a company can be applied to transforming your own life.
- How to create a "staff of leaders" that are self-sufficient, resilient and capable of handling any service challenge.
- How service and care creates success and fulfillment no matter what kind of role you have (customer-facing or not) or where you are in your career (management or mailroom).
All Roads That Lead to Clifton:
MNDFL LDR Homepage
Email Clifton
LinkedIn
Facebook
Insta
Go Deeper Into Mastering the Service Mindset:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Check Out The Serve Conscious Homepage and Get Your Game-changing Mindful Service Guides!
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
This is a strategy and quick practice to consistently drop into greater self-awareness throughout the day - have more calm, focus and authority over your emotions throughout the day. This is basically the essentials of mindfulness packed into 10 minutes or so. And like all mindful practices can be done quickly, compressed to a few minute check-in. For example:
1) How am I breathing?
2) How am I feeling? (scan body, name some emotions)
3) What are my thoughts doing?
4) What else is worth noticing?
5) What do I need right now?
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Check Out The Serve Conscious Homepage and Get Your Game-changing Mindful Service Guides!
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
This episode is for leaders and aspiring rockstars at the organizational levels of service in addition to restaurant and hospitality domains. It's based on an article I wrote for Joel Bailey's Society of Service.
Why are beautifully-recovered service experiences often considered the best ones? Because service isn’t technical, it’s emotional. Any service-oriented business is in the market of emotions. And customer journeys that dip and recover offer the most memorable emotional arc. Emotionally-charged reviews and stories to friends are more likely to follow from such a scenario.
Customer loyalty is more likely to emerge from a good recovery because the organization basically stress-tested itself in front of them and revealed that not only are they awesome when things are good, but they’re even better when things inevitably go wrong. They can be trusted to handle anything.
A truly effective service recovery can’t just feel like another protocol being followed and it can't even just be a gesture of, “What can we do for you beyond what we normally offer?” It has to be driven by, “How can we compassionately see your unique struggle and offer you something tailored to your truest needs?”
Protocols and policies are nothing in comparison to what your people on the frontline have learned (or intuited) will delight their customers on an individual level. Your employees are more likely to do the intelligent thing when they are given the respect, space and trust to do so. It’s being bogged down with policies that make them freeze up and not know how to act.
Rather than punishing errors, it's much more effective to focus on enabling your team to improve the situation, and reward them for recovering, learning and growing. They will improve and your customer loyalty and happiness will accelerate.
Recommended Pairings:Handle mistakes like an emotion master with thisGuided Self-Compassion Practice
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Check Out The Serve Conscious Homepage and Get Your Game-changing Mindful Service Guides!
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
This is a "don't leave home without it" practice. This is a special one because it's not meant to be done in a safe, quiet place. It's a self-compassion practice, which are meant to help you meet your moments of greatest struggle.
Yeah, service is painful and emotionally challenging. And in case you're saying "Yeah...and so is, like, all of life", that's exactly why you need to always have this in your back pocket.
Customers can be cruel. Even if they weren't we make mistakes that invite us to lash ourselves.
What if our biggest, most painful inner challenges only need to be moments of emotional discomfort that pass without leaving an imprint?
By default, we tense up and speak viciously to ourselves, furthering the intensity. And also, more deeply carving beliefs that we are lowly and deficient (too easy of a temptation in the service role). What if we could break that pattern and meet the reactions we have with the kindness and support of a good friend?
This episode is a step-by-step guide to meeting your inner challenges with understanding, support and care rather than the self-condemnation we so often subject ourselves to. It's a game-changer. Follow the instructions, get comfortable with the approach and get into the habit of doing this on your own.
Below is a brief summary of how to quickly move through this practice on your own.
- Call it: Recognize a moment of struggle (emotional discomfort). Tell yourself "this is struggle. It's natural and universal.
- Notice: What you're thinking and feeling with openness, curiosity, and non-rejection.
- Inquire: Ask yourself, "what kind of support do I need right now?" Understanding? Care? Motivation? Encouragement?)
- Serve Yourself: Speak to yourself as a friend would. Provide the support you would normally outsource. See how much of a caring feeling you can offer yourself. Embrace the struggle as a mentor to yourself that knows you are growing and learning
The effects of this practice on happiness, energy levels, growth, success, you name it, are unquestionable. Deliver a powerful dose of self-compassion to yourself, disrupt the usual cycle of negativity and you'll feel capable of handling anything (after all, challenges are usually only scary because we expect to abuse ourselves through the process).
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Check Out The Serve Conscious Homepage and Get Your Game-changing Mindful Service Guides!
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
This episode is a response to requests for some more guided practices. Knowing that we all have limited time and space in our lives for these things, I wanted to provide you with what is basically my favorite practice for building the service mindset. It's also one of the 3 most important meditation practices I have in my life.
- Just follow the audio instructions - and then go about your day.
- You'll need a quiet place to practice - or just anywhere that's safe to close your eyes.
- Do this regularly and life and work will start to be a very different experience for you.
You may notice you have more energy, calm, compassion, generosity - and general capability to master difficult service skills.
Another written version of this can be found here in the Serve Conscious Practices page.
A written Step-by-Step is below (and it's a little different than the one we practiced, but generates very similar results.
- Sit down, closed your eyes and just sort of settle in and soak in yourself.
- Feel your body naturally fill and empty itself of air.
- Settle your attention into your body and noticing the sensations of breathing
- And then just have a look at what’s churning in you..
- Bring your attention to your heart area.
- Try and see what feelings of goodness in are churning you. You'll recognize them: they might feel warm, good-willing, caring, expansive, etc.
- And now let’s stir those sensations up a bit.
Think to yourself or apply the intentions:
“Let’s be happy.”Feel the results.
“Let’s thrive."
Feel the results.
“Let’s belong.”
Feel the results.
Now, visualize everyone you love, everyone that irritates you, everyone that you’re indifferent to - people you saw once the other day in a line somewhere - and everyone you serve in some way.
- Rather than just thinking thoughts about them, try and just see the details of them like you’re watching a movie.
- And if all these individual people are too much to process, just maybe visualize a crowd that represents them.
- Hold them as best you can, with openness and care.
- Note they’re all probably struggling with something right now.
- Or probably a number of things - things, that make them feel unsafe or hurt in some way.
- What’s happening in your heart when you notice this?
- What feelings are churning? (It could be irritation - everything goes).
- Then repeat that first process of well wishing: "Let's be happy, thrive, belong."
And keeping your attention soaking in your goodness, bring your attention back to your breath.
- Feel yourself back in the room.
- Open your eyes.
- Done.
Each phase can be repeated as many times as you have time for. This practice can also be targeted to specific people that you want to work on your relationship with (or work on how they're occupying your head).
The phrases you use don't have to be in the realms of "be happy" "thrive" "belong", etc. They can be ones you consider more relevant. But the general guideline is that they're general and universal privileges of being human. Try to avoid specific, especially materialistic things like, "May you acquire a boat."
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Check Out The Serve Conscious Homepage and Get Your Game-changing Mindful Service Guides!
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
What's your favorite style of self-sacrifice?
The martyr?
The fixer?
The soloist?
The co-dependent?
All of these archetypes promise us problems. And though they have honorable aspects to them (which we will talk about connecting to), they ultimately compromise our service game. This episode hopes to disrupt the myth that good service somehow needs to involve a constant outward flow of our energy into "helping" others.
Draw boundaries around when you need to serve others and when you need to serve yourself. Service is not about quantity, it's about quality (and quality happens when you serve YOURSELF with the same gusto that you seek to wow your customers).
Bring care to yourself that truly fills your service tank - starting from the moment you open your eyes. To get started on this path I share a key daily routine for service professionals.
Use mindfulness to notice crucial streams of information that we normally ignore during the service exchange. Notice what truly requires attention and meet the needs of the moment.
Learn simple but shockingly effective ways to convert negative thinking into positive support for yourself.
Master yourself one small action at a time with another simple mindfulness practice that will do wonders for rebuilding that most important service relationship: the one you have with yourself.
Recommended Pairings:
Lifestyle Practices to Maximize Your Service Game
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes
Check Out The Serve Conscious Homepage and Get Your Game-changing Mindful Service Guides!
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
"Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about."
-Ian McLaren
This is a very important discussion for both individual service professionals looking to bring more mindfulness and inspiration to their work and for leaders that want to elevate their team's culture and effectiveness. The organizational space needs more people like Neal Woodson (but human beings with missions like his are rare indeed). He's a coach and consummate service fire-lighter. He's the author of The Uncomplicated Coach and is a powerful resource for service-based companies that want to take their service game to the next level. We talk about service from the micro all the way to the macro levels, but ultimately kept returning to the same principles: good service requires the people serving to feel valued, engaged and, well, like dignified human beings. And to always have opportunities to practice service on each other.
This was such a valuable and timely discussion that it inspired me to make up a term: intra-service! What does it mean? Listen and find out!
Also discussed:
- The profound difference between knowledge and knowledge delivered with care.
- "Bartenders are the best psychologists" is true...in very unexpected ways.
- How to make the most "menial" job a true craft.
- Coaching isn't teaching, but guiding someone to their own brilliance. How organizations can weave coaching principles into their daily operations by asking three powerful questions to their staff.
- Why service lacks mindfulness and inspiration - and how to re-ignite it when it's lost.
Recommended Pairings:Podcast Episodes:Bringing Humanity Back to Large-Scale Service (pt. 1)
Bringing Humanity Back to Large-Scale Service (pt. 2)
Neal's Situation:Neal's WebsiteGet Neal's book The Uncomplicated Coach
Neal on Twitter
Neal on LinkedIn
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
This is sort of a follow-up to a recent episode about navigating the challenging emotions you experience in the service dynamic. The service exchange is ultimately about facilitating positive emotions in the people we serve. This episode looks at the skills we need and challenges we face in trying to elevate the experience of others.
Other Discussion Points:
- Think you love "making people happy"? Well, that good intention isn't always what you think it is. Learn the more mindful, skillful approach to bringing out the best in others.
- The art (and supreme challenge!) of sympathetic joy (Mudita in Buddhism). Learn how to deal with jealousy, envy and the general annoyance we feel towards people that are happier than we are.
- Take the pressure off of yourself and expand your idea of what "making your customers happy" needs to look like.
- Why does service cause us to abandon our own needs? Override that and ultimately empower yourself to serve better.
- A simple question to ask yourself after each encounter in order to create more consistent habits of being present and making the most of an encounter.
- Learn how to avoid unexpected mistakes we make when we think we're being curious, inquisitive listeners.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
Sneaking in a quick and always spirit-elevating conversation with my friend Dushan Zaric. He's running a live course starting October 26th, 2020 @ 3pm EST. The topics around service life he plans to cover were something I really wanted to get deeper into and draw everyone's attention to. They include:
- Reconnecting with what hospitality really is (from the individual to the collective culture).
- Working with burnout (kind of a service speciality, isn't it?). What it truly is and how it works may surprise you.
- Service in the COVID reality (we didn't get as deep into this topic, but every tool we discussed will be essential in dealing with the profound impact that its had on service-oriented industries).
Also discussed:
- What causes service to lose its luster?
- How do you build a culture of hospitality in your organization?
- What personal practices arm us to walk into the doors and meet the challenges of service life?
- How your present situation brings with it the perfect conditions for your growth.
Dushan's Situation:
The Bartender Survival Course (with ARAR)
dushanzaric.com
Instagram
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Emotions. We all have them and, strangely, rarely want to admit their influence. When we re-acquaint ourselves with our emotional lives, then we gain untold mastery over the challenges of work and service. We also gain mastery over our service game - after all, service is an absolute economy of emotional exchange.
Firstly, admit you have them all the time and that they determine basically all your decisions and behaviors. This might be unappealing since we can probably trace emotions back to every problem we've faced in our lives. But they are also a powerful ally and information source.
Learn how mindfulness, self-development, and our success at doing almost anything is a matter of emotional mastery. And this doesn't mean learning to feel our preferred emotions, but having the capacity for the uncomfortable ones. This episode looks at powerful techniques for observing where and how emotions are actually happening and how to support ourselves like a friend would (rather than an adversary).
Speaking of emotional mastery, that is a HUGE part of the new meditation and mindfulness membership program that I've been developing with Tenshin - as any mindfulness program worth its salt would prioritize. Enrollment for the Self-Made Mind community is only open until the end of the month! Grab a spot and get on a transformative path to mindful living. Reach out if you have any questions about that: stefan@serveconscious.com.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
How can you get the most out of your meditation and mindfulness practice? Is it just about technique or can you look at your whole relationship to your program - and you life...
I reveal news about my upcoming free live course that will give you the tools to master your practice (whether you're a beginner or a veteran).
Discussed in the episode...
The important questions you need to ask yourself to know if you're on the right track. We also discuss why "all practices are designed to fail" and how this concept can give you back your power and capability rather than kill your confidence in your program.
To go deeper into these principles, check out the Actually-Effective Meditation & Mindfulness Live Course for free! You don't wanna miss it (but if you do, you can watch the replays)!
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”
― TagoreBuilding on the the previous week's episode on meaning and purpose (but also standing alone), this episode is about - no big deal - fulfillment. Big topic, but what if fulfillment wasn't some huge "ultimate aspiration", but a natural emotional state that we can tap into at any time - all we need is the right tools. Discussed inside:Why do high achievers (let's say wealthy ones too) seek opportunities for service? And why could they do your "lowly" service job with more joy and enthusiasm than you?
Service is the arena that fulfillment can be 1) cultivated 2) fumbled with (in a valuable constructive way 3) delivered to others.
Are you serving from a place of believing that like you're lacking something? How shifting out of that mindset transforms your relationship to your work and the effectiveness with which you do what you do.
Your body remembers all the times that life sucked. And those programs will continue to run and lead your mind to believe that you are unsafe, deficient and lacking something. Learn how to heal that with meditation.Want to incorporate these principles more thoroughly into your life? I'm hosting Free Live Meditation & Mindfulness Course! You don't wanna miss it!
Recommended Pairings:
Podcast Episode: Find Meaning & Purpose In Life As A Laborer | Ep. 79
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
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Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
Happy labor day!
So, I don't know where I get off speaking about today's struggles in the same conversation as surviving the holocaust, American slavery and working conditions during the early industrial era. But its survivors (and casualties) have brought us some important lessons on resilience, dignity and self-understanding as working people. I like extreme examples to illustrate the finer points of my rather un-extreme and comfortable modern life. And to challenge me to have gratitude and authority over the privileged life I've been given.
**Slight correction: I said on the episode that restaurants weren't considered essential services during COVID, but I should have said restaurants "as we knew them", since I believe many were
Discussion points:
- How to find meaning in your work in a socioeconomic structure that isn't really designed around a respect for the working person.
- The true history of labor day and the tragedies around it are especially relevant to today.
- How the service role has been tainted by society's tendency to take advantage of the people serving them - whether it's your clientele or your employers - and how to drop this baggage and reconnect to the growth potential that the role offers us.
- How the ego hijack's our search for meaning and feed us false signals about it's location. We discuss ways to use mindfulness to hack the ego's oppressive fictions and connect us to the true location of our sense of purpose.
- Gratitude is a practice and can be employed to get us through the most challenging (and dire) of situations - and to find fulfillment no matter where we are in our lives.
Once again, I'll disclaim that the human capacity for resilience, and the way that empowered mindfulness allows us to adapt to - and even thrive - in difficult situations, does not excuse organizations from improving the way that it treats its employees. In fact, mindfulness done properly connects people more thoroughly to their worth, and can make them more likely to press for positive change, not less.
Recommended Pairings:
Podcast Episodes:True Hospitality Means The Employees Get Just As Much Care As The Clientele – Interview w/ John DeBary | Ep. 54
Bringing Humanity Back To Large-Scale Service Pt. 1 | feat. Joel Bailey | Service With New Purpose Series | Ep. 69
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
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Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
This is a core discussion on mindfulness and service. The straight essentials to implement mindfulness into your service life and watch it transform. Learn practices for building the power of our attention - after all, good service is proportionate to the amount of attention we can give it. And the same is with mindfulness! Whoa! It's as though mindfulness and service go hand-in-hand (oh wait, that's what inspire this whole Serve Conscious project).
Items of interest:
- Service demands that we meet the moment on its own terms rather than pushing against it with our rigid patterns - meditation and mindfulness naturally develops this capacity.
- The key difference between meditation and mindfulness. Why beginners have the all the ingredients to be effective, powerful meditators.
- What if you could take the same state of happiness, connectedness and calm that you feel when you're doing the most pleasurable activity into any activity (even the most unpleasant experiences).
- A deep look at one of the most important things to understand with our practice: the struggles with mindfulness are valuable, mindful growth experiences.
Recommended Pairings:
Resource: Lethal Kindness PracticeResource: Mindful Service 101 (Coming Soon)
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
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Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
I get back into discussing lockdown life and how to truly take advantage of this time in isolation.
Items of interest in this episode:
- If you want to next level how you do something, then you need to change your thinking patterns on it. And to do that, you need to do something that gets you thinking/perceiving differently.
- More lessons I gained from more of my crises. This particular one involved me getting tired of enabling my clientele's tendency to hide from themselves (via poison, AKA: alcohol), which led to my departure from the industry for years (the most important years of my life as it concerns my service career).
- Learn how drunks have the ideal mindsets for becoming master meditator.
- Being the best service professional you can be may not be about learning how to love it, but learning how to find purpose in a difficult situation.
- How to feel worthy enough to pursue what truly switches you on.
**Recommended Pairings:
Podcast Episode: How Crisis Revealed The Secrets of Work, Life & Service
Resources:** Meditate Effortlessly
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
In this episode you'll learn about how common it can be to experience shame in the service experience and techniques that determine whether it will be a great ally or a terrible enemy.
What do you picture when I say the word "shame"? Perhaps it's that cartoonish display of someone shrinking into a corner, mousy and red-faced. Maybe there's a wagging finger from an authority, bullying us into being embarrassed about something. Shame is so much more than that.
Inside:
- How shame is a universal human experience that gets especially agitated in the service role.
- Why shame is usually experienced by people who possess a great deal of compassion, care and other valuable service traits.
- How we don't need to erase feelings of shame to free ourselves of its grip - we just need to change our relationship to it.
- The relationship of shame to tribal belonging and self-worth.
- The difference between feeling something and telling ourselves a story about it.
- Self-compassion techniques to hack that vicious inner authority that bullies us every time we make mistakes.
Recommended Pairings:
Article: Mistakes: Be Your Own Yoda
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
Andy's the best. Speaking to him always gives me a sense of his tremendous understanding of the inner struggles we experience in work life. And a very encouraging assurance that we have the power to gather ourselves, live comfortably in our skin and face the challenges of the day.
Andy founded and ran the legendary mindfulness program at Aetna Health and now works independently to help organizations weave mindfulness into its culture. He brings wisdom, humanity and - thanks to his background as an organizational psychologist - a unique level of academic rigor to his mission.
This is a must listen - humorous, lively and full of fascinating insights. Never a dull moment.
We Discuss:
The amazing obliviousness we have to our own stress levels. And what happens when "the veil drops" and you start looking at how your nervous system is responding to situations.
How to deal with the high capacity of information that service professionals have to process - and what happens to service when you push those limits.
Service often requires performing a "good mood" even (especially) when we don't feel like it. We discuss the struggles of "surface acting" and the power of mindfulness to help us manage the strain of "faking it".
Studies showing how medical professionals that demonstrate a caring disposition have a higher success rate - and, conversely, doctors that apologize get sued for malpractice less.
The amazing opportunity that a service error presents to create a profound and joyous experience.
How to make the service workforce less of a commodity and more of a valued individual.
All Roads That Lead to Andy:
Mindful Ethos (Homepage)
Wellness Coach (really awesome meditation/health/well-being app to watch live classes -it's here that I occasionally have the pleasure of working with Andy)
Ideal Social Profile (LinkedIn)
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
Racial justice indeed requires broad social change. However, it's not just a matter of big impactful systemic shifts. And it's also on us to refine how we interact on a day-to-day basis. It is important to know the power of little interactions throughout the day and the endless opportunities that a service environment provides to have them - especially the opportunities to refine how we communicate and behave.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
I continue to fumble through the racial justice and its relevance to mindful service. And yeah, that's right, I'm dropping the L-bomb this episode. Are you uncomfortable? Great, well, this is supposed to be a time of uncomfortable conversations. And if you approach these conversations mindfully, it means you're willing to inquire within as to why they feel so uncomfortable. So now that I'm bringing up love, take a minute and explore why that word makes you squirm a little.
Because this is the word that is the antidote to the disease of racism the world over. And it needs to be reclaimed and re-understood as something that is always a factor in serving in a mindful, empowered way. Love is not the gushy, snuggly thing reserved for romantic or intimate relationships. I'm referring to love as the mystics referred to it: as a state of being that allows connecting, appreciation, inspiration, joy, understanding, and strength. True service - done with the kindness and care that develops rich relationships - is one that is always creating little rivulets of love between all involved.
We explore how to bring this into service (don't worry, in a way that is seamless, not awkward) as well as best practices for navigating uncomfortable and challenging conversations involving racial justice. And, please, if you're listening and feel I could refine/deepen my perspective on some aspect of this topic, please reach out and let me know.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
If you feel like you don't know how to be of value to the present social unrest and demand for racial justice (or even approach it at all), then don't worry, you're not alone. But, if you've been serving mindfully then in some ways you've been preparing your mindset for this. You have a chance to really action these principles in a way that counts - to participate in the healing of people that have suffered in ways that you cannot know.
Everything you've been trying to do more effectively along your mindful service journey - listening, openness, compassion, healing, avoiding righteousness, catching reactivity - is a skill that can be applied to participating in the racially just world you want to live in.
It takes readiness for discomfort, missteps and self-examination. And probably a lot of other things that I have no concept of because this kind of awareness is something I am still learning. This episode is really just a statement of my willingness for the learning process, the tools I need to bring to it and a hopefulness that racial sensitivity will be part of everyone's else's mindful service journey as well.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
With service, there are technical skills you can learn...and then there are skills that make actually competent at interfacing with other human beings. It is extraordinary how much any education of these skills is absent from the usual professional training, parenting, or any level of schooling (including the highest levels of academia). They're skills I had to learn from the trials and tribulations of endlessly bumping into walls of frustration and bewilderment.
I totally understand. These skills are deep, sometimes esoteric concepts that you would normally find in Eastern wisdom systems like Buddhism and Yoga. I was fortunate enough to meet some inspiring teachers to share practices with me that taught me the meditation and conscious living practices that I needed. They not only provided a deeper sense of well-being and capability, but transformed my interpersonal abilities.
They made me more skillful. Skillfulness (Upaya) is a Buddhist concept that this episode looks at more deeply. Essentially, it's about being living in a way that allows the results you want - more harmony, better relationships, generally a life where you don't regret your actions.
Also discussed:
- Self-compassion.
- Service as a means of applying lessons learned.
- How to make a profound service experience happen more naturally.
Episode page here.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
Part two of my discussion with service design visionary Joel Bailey. This episode be listened on it's own, but I highly recommend first checking out part one here. It was amazing and massively educating to speak with such a kindred spirit who is working with large companies, institutions and public services and proving that you can bring humanity and consciousness back to service in a way that is scalable.
Our chat hinges off of his article What COVID19 Tells Us About Service, but expands into a sweeping discussion covering so many dimensions of how service-in-general needs be transformed - from our cultural understanding of it to the very structure of organizations that provide it.
Joel believes (as I do) that people are fundamentally driven to serve because it's the most enriching thing they can do. However his work has found that service-oriented people are repeatedly disrupted by nothing more than the institutions that have to serve within - and nothing has revealed these problems more acutely than the COVID crisis.
Large-scale service providers still use an industrial age model of service, which Joel reveals has little relevance to our modern information age. The COVID crisis has compelled organizations to change more in 10 days than they have in 10 years, inverting their whole organizational structure to meet these new service demands.
We also talk about ways that Joel reconnects companies with their customers, shifting them from mistakenly selling services as "products" into offering an opportunity to connect with what people really care about and meeting a genuine need.
**Recommended Pairings:
Book: The Language of Kindness: A Nurse's Story
Movie: Gosford Park
Movie Clip: Victoria & Abdul Podcast Episode:** Bringing Humanity Back To Large-Scale Service Pt. 1 | feat. Joel Bailey
All Roads That Lead to Joel:joelbaileyuk.com
Joel Bailey (Twitter) Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
Welcome another chapter of the Service With New Purpose Series! So excited to share part one of my discussion with service design visionary Joel Bailey. The discussion was lengthy and rich, so I'm delivering it as a two-course meal for easier digestion (listen to part 2 here). It was amazing and massively educating to speak with such a kindred spirit who is working with large companies, institutions and public services and proving that you can bring humanity and consciousness back to service in a way that is scalable.
Our chat hinges off of his article What COVID19 Tells Us About Service, but expands into a sweeping discussion covering so many dimensions of how service-in-general needs be transformed - from our cultural understanding of it to the very structure of organizations that provide it.
Joel believes (as I do) that people are fundamentally driven to serve because it's the most enriching thing they can do. However his work has found that service-oriented people are repeatedly disrupted by nothing more than the institutions that have to serve within - and nothing has revealed these problems more acutely than the COVID crisis.
Large-scale service providers still use an industrial age model of service, which Joel reveals has little relevance to our modern information age. The COVID crisis has compelled organizations to change more in 10 days than they have in 10 years, inverting their whole organizational structure to meet these new service demands.
We also talk about ways that Joel reconnects companies with their customers, shifting them from mistakenly selling services as "products" into offering an opportunity to connect with what people really care about and meeting a genuine need.
**Recommended Pairings:
Book: The Language of Kindness: A Nurse's Story
Movie: Gosford Park
Movie Clip: Victoria & Abdul Podcast Episode: Bringing Humanity Back To Large-Scale Service Pt. 2 | feat. Joel Bailey All Roads That Lead to Joel:joelbaileyuk.com
Joel Bailey (Twitter) Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:**
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Music: "Night Owl" by Broke For Free
Although we’re in a time where we might be tempted to view microorganisms as the enemy, Susan & Tico will always be the closest friends and collaborators with the microbial world. Discover how they're living their motto of compassion, culture and community in more ways than one:
- Conscious business owners like Susan & Tico tend to realize when all the success in the world doesn’t compare to the fulfillment offered by life’s simplest interactions. Hear about how the Coronavirus opened up surprising opportunities to successfully do what they’ve always wanted to do with their Kombucha and fermented food company Radiate.
- Our physical and emotional health is more dependent on the health of our microbiome than we may realize.
- Microbiology makes us realize how individual bodies aren’t just a singular intelligence located in the brain, but vast interconnected systems. Similarly, the Coronavirus has caused us to reflect on our own interconnected and interdependent nature. We talk about the power and value of community.
- Service is both a fundamentally selfish and fundamentally selfish notion.
Welcome to part 3 of the podcasts' Service With New Purpose Series! Basically, I'm now dedicating most of the podcast to speaking with brilliant and visionary service-oriented minds that are now living and working in a whole new world of service. Whether people work in a dormant service industry (i.e. bars/restaurants, hotels), an active one (online stuff, essential services, etc.) or are simply living a service-oriented life, they are facing tremendous challenges that are offering potentially valuable insights for the rest of us.
Many have been kind enough to speak with me and give me the opportunity to learn how they are serving their communities and also themselves as they adapt to the endlessly unfolding uncertainty. Have a listen and witness our innate human ability to serve, re-formed into whatever it needs to be help those who need it most.
Recommended Pairings:
Article: Welcome to the Family: Hospitality As A Spiritual Practice
All Roads That Lead to Tico, Susan & Radiate:
Radiate Miami
Tico Aran (Insta)
Susan Cartiglia (Insta)
Radiate Miami (Insta)
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Welcome to part 2 of the podcasts' Service With New Purpose Series! Basically, I'm now dedicating most of the podcast to speaking with brilliant and visionary service-oriented minds that are now living and working in a whole new world of service. Whether people work in a dormant service industry (i.e. bars/restaurants, hotels), an active one (online stuff, essential services, etc.) or are simply living a service-oriented life, they are facing tremendous challenges that are offering potentially valuable insights for the rest of us.
Many have been kind enough to speak with me and give me the opportunity to learn how they are serving their communities and also themselves as they adapt to the endlessly unfolding uncertainty. Have a listen and witness our innate human ability to serve, re-formed into whatever it needs to be help those who need it most.
In this episode I speak with Albert Bitton the founder of New York restaurant Shoo Shoo and his Feed Our Frontline Healthcare Heroes Fund. The project allows him to convert his restaurant and staff to a production facility that provides healthy meals to overworked medical professionals across about a dozen of New York's crowded hospitals. Our conversation was a deeply inspiring look at how one service industry can provide something so important to another.
Recommended Pairings:
Podcast Episode 6: Next Level Conscientiousness
All Roads That Lead to Albert Bitton:Feed Our Frontline Healthcare Heroes
Shoo Shoo Restaurant
Shoo Shoo Restaurant (Instagram)
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Welcome to the Service With New Purpose series! Basically, I'm now dedicating most of the podcast to speaking with brilliant and visionary service-oriented minds that are now living and working in a whole new world of service. Whether people work in a dormant service industry (i.e. bars/restaurants, hotels), an active one (online stuff, essential services, etc.) or are simply living a service-oriented life, they are facing tremendous challenges that are offering potentially valuable insights for the rest of us. Many have been kind enough to speak with me and give me the opportunity to ask questions like:
- What can a service professional or service business owner offer to their communities right now?
- What are you witnessing being done for the communities you are a part of that is most inspiring to you right now?
- What tools/principles/personal practices are you and others using to adapt to the all this challenge and change?
- What service skills that you’ve cultivated over the years are being used in new and unexpected ways?
- What insights has this situation brought you?
The answers are fascinating and inspiring. In this inaugural episode, industry leader Dushan Zaric discusses:
- The importance of self-cultivation as a person of service.
- The transformative power of service.
- The power and strength found in setting a positive example.
Recommended Pairings:Past Podcast Episode: Serve Like Humanity Depends On It...Because It Does (feat. Dushan Zaric)
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
This episode centers around a 2007 social experiment performed by Washington Post magazine. Basically, Jacob Bell (one of the world's greatest violinists) played a stirring piece of music on a $3 million violin in the middle of a busy metro stations and only 7 people stopped to listen during the 43-minute performance. I discuss what's at play here and how it reveals an important ingredient that is so often missing from people's practice of mindfulness - and service.
This One Discusses:
The importance of becoming more compassionate for people as you become more present and aware...and they do not. See how easy it is to dismiss or condemn people's tendency to be preoccupied with their own "nonsense" and how much more effective it is to be compassionate.
The way we ascribe value to objects and experiences is all based on a story that we're agreeing to. And the same goes for how we view ourselves.
How effectively you can communicate with people by respecting their centrality - basically the fact that experiences life as the center of their own universe. Expecting someone to give the same importance to your preferences will lead to needless conflict and disconnection.
Recommended Pairings:
1) Episode: Dealing With Difficult People
2) Episode: Nobody Cares About You
3) Article: One Encounter, One Opportunity
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Consider All This:
We think the service role as lowly, but this is simply cultural conditioning that we need to break. Learn how to see through your false thinking that you don't have value to offer the world and see the power to have a radiating impact on everyone you encounter.
Coronavirus has reminded us how amazing of a vessel the human body is for transmitting contagions - so infect people with your kindness through service! (Either the wrong ...or the best imagery).
Experience growth and joy through the doing of deceptively humble, seemingly insignificant jobs.
Any service role meets all the criteria of so-called "important" work.
The ego is what hijacks and narrates our delusions about importance. Service without the need for egoic payoffs is when you can truly thrive in the role.
Recommended Pairings: 1) The Beginner's Mind Episode 2) The Zen of Work Episode
Check out the new email/blog series and sign up for the mailing list here.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Every skill is translatable. Everything is practice for the next level you wish to take your life to. In moments of crisis (i.e. now), don't worry, you've been training for it your whole life - through every opportunity you've taken to pay attention, be compassionate, understand things better, and choose to de-escalate rather than react.
This episode wants you to understand...
- How mindfulness really works.
- Our biggest tools for handling challenges.
- Why we struggle and the tools we need to avoid the default response.
- Challenges can cause two highly ineffective responses: reactivity and repression. How mindfulness gives us the courage to choose neither and experience what's happening head-on.
- All challenges are neutral and non-threatening (except things where you actually might die - yes, once again, i.e. now), it's a matter of your mental and physically decision to find it grueling. Learn some techniques to hack that.
Check out the new email/blog series and sign up for the mailing list here.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Well, that escalated quickly.
Suddenly I'm at home all day because, like most hospitality professionals, I'm not entirely employed anymore. In this episode, I discuss how times like this are powerful opportunities to explore what really matters in our lives. And to understand the essence of how it is we wish to serve in this life. It doesn't matter what it is you're doing, it matters how you're doing it and the person you're practicing as while doing it.
Recommended Pairings: Lifestyle, Pre-Service & In-Service Practices To Maximize Your Well-Being & Capability (Service Skills You're Never Taught Pt. 6) | Ep. 61
All of This is True:
- In a very primal way, work determines your identity. I talk about how to go beyond that programming.
- I give you tools and practices to know the essence of who you are.
- Regardless of your role in service, the quality of your work depends on how much you fill the cup you plan to pour from. And how much you know who this cup is ("cup" is an analogy for the human being that is you, by the way).
- You take pride in your work in ways you may not even realize. And taking pride in jobs that aren't your ultimate aspiration will be an absolute game-changer for you.
- Your true path in life is simply a matter of habits and not some ultimate revelation that descends upon you.
Check out the new email/blog series and sign up for the mailing list here.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & Support the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
What's the most important factor determining the success and satisfaction you get from serving? You. Service is dependent on your state of mind. And that's dependent on your general health and well-being. So the way you live your life gets taken into every service exchange.
Recommended Pairings: Meditation: The Most Powerful Tool For Upgrading the Way We Serve
Your ability to serve is determined by how you wake up, eat, think, breath, move and do almost anything in your life. Doing these things mindfully, intently and in a way that serves you transforms the little activities of your day into brush strokes that paint the kind of life you want - fueling you to be the kind of person you want to be. Because, really, the whole point of any kind of service is that we get the opportunity to be the kind of person we want to be.
A key (and often overlooked ingredient) of service is how well you take care of yourself. Service is not a matter of how "selfless" you are in your devotion to the needs of others beyond your own. It's a system of intent self-investments that are ultimately aimed at elevating those around you as well. This episode details meditation and mindfulness techniques you can use to start your day, prime yourself for service, and refresh yourself during the chaos of the work day.
Complementary Guide: Effortless MeditationThe key here is knowing that you are capable and deserving of greater levels of well-being. You will learn how to claim higher standards for yourself, which will naturally raise your standards for how well you serve others.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-TunesSupport the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Notice the quotation marks around “difficult people”? Honestly, there is no such thing as an objectively difficult person. There is only the soup of emotional reactions you have to particular types of people that aren’t your favorite flavor. Obviously, you should keep yourself physically safe, but in most situations, people are only as harmful to the extent that you tell yourself they are compromising you. As Gandhi would say, "No one hurts me unless I let them."
Recommended Pairings: Learn How To Navigate People’s Needs
This episode discusses strategies for managing situations where you are confronted with people that are not making it easy to be served. And mindsets for managing the most important person in that equation: you.
What stories are you creating around the idea that they are difficult?
Where can you find unity?
Where can you give up the need for unity, let the situation go and stop trying to fix it?
Are people really being difficult or just not conforming to how you want things to go?
Service seems easy when the people we serve make it easy via their awesomeness, but the key is to find it fulfilling even when they're not. The world is full of variation and you are bound not to instantly align with a good portion of them. There is no reason that this needs to compromise the quality of your experience. All you need are these skills, mindsets and lots of practice applying them. Fortunately...service gives us lots and lots of opportunities for practice (some would even say too many).
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-TunesSupport the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
True service comes from the inside out. This means that, although being able to observe your environment, the people in it, and what's needed of you in each moment, the key subject of your observation needs to be yourself. In this episode you'll learn how this can be done in tandem with the basic awareness of the outside world that's required to do your job and, y'know, function as a human being.
The fourth installment of a powerful new series about practical service skills with endless applications to every aspect of life. They are often overlooked because they work on deeper levels than the surface technical skills than the modern service industry seems tends to over-prioritize. But learning these skills means learning true skillfulness (in the Eastern sense of acquiring wisdom, maturity and effectiveness) and transforming your service into one of power and possibility.
Recommended Pairings:
- A key communication crash course episode centered around Mindful Listening w/ Rebecca Shafir.
- The absolutely essential introduction to Karma Yoga.
All of this is true:Observation of yourself is not scary - in fact, it's the only pathway into self-worth and self-love.
Within you is a still, wise, and infinitely broad awareness that can anchor you in the most chaotic of situations. Learn to access this "Buddha self" and remain tethered to it regardless of what the rest of your mind is doing.
Knowledge of technical details is important in any profession and most definitely a service-oriented one. How about the technical details of the emotions you're experiencing in response to a situation?
Observing the obstacles to really showing up for the people you're serving is an important skill indeed. And those obstacles always come from within. Learn how to observe your behavior and inquire if it's really working.
Self-observation can be done compassionately - in fact, it must be. See what needs to be worked on in in you, while not viewing yourself as somehow deficient.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-TunesSupport the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Learn gratitude practices to start your day and also apply to challenging situations. They will transform how you experience life.
Recommended Pairings: the Serve Conscious podcast episode on Mastery.
All of this is true:
Gratitude is at least as important as meditation, mindfulness or any practice you're doing to become a happy, thriving human being. It is a shortcut to enjoying life, fast-tracking your improvement and doing what you do more effectively.
Truly serving well depends on how much you are happy to do it. This is a function of gratitude for your role. Learn how to be grateful for the opportunity to serve and without feeling like you're somehow lowering or degrading yourself. In fact, this mindset is what truly empowers you as an agent of service.
Learn the difference between "outcome-oriented service" and "process-oriented service" and how one puts you on a path of mastery and joy in your work and the other sentences you to frustrations and resentment.
See the value in the most difficult situations. And, most importantly, understand your own value more deeply. This is all a matter of gratitude.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-TunesSupport the show
Check out my partnership with The Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Service (and all activities in life) is not so much about what you’re doing, but the intention behind it. And that intention can be positive without feeling artificial, strained or anything but authentic. I’ve found putting positive intention behind the simplest of activities (especially with anything I’m doing for others) can totally transform my relationships, joy of life, and general effectiveness doing anything. And it’s all an internal practice. All done covertly, with no need to project any sort of demeanor or convince anyone of your positive intentions.
Recommended pairings: my incredible interview with Dushan Zaric.
All of This is True...
Truly mastering your life requires closing the gap between how you’re feeling internally and what you are projecting externally. Everything must feel authentic and intentional. Learn how to do this without becoming a crass douchebag (that will result in even more conflict than your inner/outer dilemma).
Being fake nice is not effective and not necessary. This doesn’t mean honestly telling people that you hate them. But since everything is optional, know that so is the resentment you feel. You can shift out of that, see who they truly are, witness how the dynamic of enmity is an illusion, and form positive intentions that are actually genuine.
Quoting my mindful service inspiration, Dushan Zaric: “Nothing is wrong with the script.” You don’t need to rain sparkly joy on people. In fact, the right intentions can be projected with the utmost restraint and any situation will be uplifted.
Learn how to wish well upon people that give you every reason to hate them. And see how simple it is to shift your perspective while still authentically feeling what you feel about their problematic behavior.
Using positive intention on yourself to transform your sense of your value. You’re not doing enough of it, so do it more.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-TunesSupport the show
Happy 2020! The podcast is starting off the year with a very special interview on the transformative power of mindful communication. Truly listening, understanding, and speaking to what's really needed can make the humblest of interactions feel truly alive. And my discussion with Oren Jay Sofer, the subject's most definitive voice, was bursting with such aliveness at every moment. So many insights. So much value.
Oren Jay Sofer is also a very dynamic social servant. With a focus on teaching meditation and communication throughout the world, Oren is a member of the Spirit Rock Teachers Council. He is also a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for the healing of trauma. Oren also holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University, is the founder of Next Step Dharma and co-founder of Mindful Healthcare. He is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication, and co-author of Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents.
Recommended pairings: Intro to Non-Violent Communication (though here we get deeper into the mindfulness and Buddhist principles of this topic)
All of this is true:
As people, we have more in common than with others than aspects that separate us. If we pay attention, we can relate to anybody and understand our shared humanity.
Oren shares a three-step mindful communication technique that is an absolute top-tier service success (and basic survival!) tool: 1) Engage 2) De-escalate 3) Set limits.
Everyone has a different recipe of disempowered conditioning that needs to be both honored and overcome so that we can find agency, empowerment, aliveness and freedom in your work and whole life experience. Sounds easy, but is a tall order because of the modern hypnosis of human value = their performance and worldly success. Oren Tells us how to reclaim our innate value and dignity as people.
Someone’s criticism is a reflection of their own needs rather than an assault on your particular ego. Develop awareness of this and nothing seems as personal. (Wow, so actually take your own needs out of it? Well, kind of).
The drive to “get things done” is a powerful one in people...but can be the source of untold tension. Oren tells us how to refine our relationship to “ticking boxes” so that we can remain present while we work and find joy in even the most mundane of tasks.
A powerful non-attachment principle allows you to simultaneously have powerful emotions and needs come up and come to peace with them without having to “scratch the itch” (especially when scratching such an itch can get you into trouble.
All Roads That Lead to Oren:
Homepage
Upcoming “Say What You Mean” Course
Get his book: “Say What You Mean”
Instagram (@OrenJaySofer)
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner:
An episode themed for the holidays! (Though any talk of service is relevant to this time of year...and any "holiday spirit" of service is relevant to every day of the year).
The second episode of a powerful new series about practical service skills with endless applications to every aspect of life. They are often overlooked because they work on deeper levels than the surface technical skills than the modern service industry seems tends to over-prioritize. But learning these skills means learning true skillfulness (in the Eastern sense of acquiring wisdom, maturity and effectiveness) and transforming your service into one of power and possibility.
Each episode stands on its own, but this one helps mobilize the previous one in the series: Learn How To Navigate People's Needs.
Recommended pairings: the practice of Metta Bhavana.
All of This is True:
Compassion is a skill, not some kind of pious state that only the saintly are gifted with - learn the awareness practices that make you better at negotiation, handling challenging people and finding satisfaction in any work you do that involves other people.
Compassion is different than empathy and sympathy. And gives you a certain power to transform a situation and how you respond to its challenges. AND, to boot, it doesn't require that you be a naturally empathic person.
Learn how compassion refines your ego, taking you beyond the smaller sense of yourself you may be conditioned to believe. It makes you nimble, adaptable and capable of thriving in unfamiliar situations (because, when you pay attention, anyone can lose their threatening edge and reveal themselves as part of the same human family).
Check out the practices section of the Serve Conscious website to learn a compassion accelerating Buddhist practice known as Metta Bhavana. This is also where I will re-emphasize the value of meditating regularly with this simple, but insanely powerful, practice.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Hospitality expert and social servant John deBary discusses his extraordinary and (unfortunately) unique not-for-profit The Restaurant Worker's Community Organization. (Unfortunate because there should be organizations like this everywhere). This is a very important interview where we discuss less about developing your own mindful savviness and more about developing awareness about the greater structural issues of the hospitality industry.
All of this true:
Equal opportunity and quality of life are such bigger issues in the restaurant industry than you think they are. Workers don't know their rights and employees don't even know what rights they are unwittingly denying their workers.
It's strange how people care more the treatment of the animals they are about to eat (i.e. was it grass-fed, free range, generally raised humanely, etc.) and less about the treatment of the human beings involved in providing them with a service.
Good service in restaurants means most of the nitty-gritty of what's involved is invisible to those experiencing it (i.e. they hardly notice their plates being cleared and definitely don't see who's washing it nor do they need to concern themselves with the quality of life of those washing it). I wonder how much conditioning I have around the importance of maintaining this veneer and what we need to do about the disconnect between those receiving a service and all the struggle (and often: human exploitation) that actually goes into it.
The tipping system in restaurants is a legacy of American slavery and to this day continues to drain the employees of their power and perceived value. Its effect on wage structure has untold impact on how companies treat their employees. (Obviously don't stop tipping or the people serving you don't get paid - but think about any other situation where you can decide how much someone serving you gets paid based on how the experience tickled your whimsy.)
John and RWCF are doing extraordinary things to help shift restaurants in NYC and the whole country to caring organizations with the capacity to improve the lives of its workers. Listen to the full episode to hear about this inspiring work and see how you can get involved and raise the bar in your community.
All Roads That Lead To (and from) John DeBary:
The Restaurant Worker's Community Organization
The Restaurant Worker's Community Organization (Instagram)
Proteau
Proteau (Instagram)
John deBary (Instagram)
John deBary (Twitter)
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
The first episode of a powerful new series about practical service skills with endless applications to every aspect of life. They are often overlooked because they work on deeper levels than the surface technical skills than the modern service industry seems tends to over-prioritize. But learning these skills means learning true skillfulness (in the Eastern sense of acquiring wisdom, maturity and effectiveness) and transforming your service into one of power and possibility.
All of this is true:
Needs are unfairly stigmatized in this culture. Learning how to recognize and attend to them will give untold power in transforming a situation or relationship.
There is a difference between avoiding "neediness" (depending on others to fulfill our needs) and avoiding the reality of needs (even more unhealthy - resisting them makes them sneak into other areas of our lives and cause even more trouble).
Needs are a vehicle for people to truly connect rather than simple create a relationship of exchange.
Desires that appear to be simple and surface level are in fact doorways into deeper more profound needs. Learn to see these layers and you will find growth and inspiration in your service profession.
There are ways of interacting with needs that are tactful and allow connection with others, and clumsy ways that will just alienate you. Learn the difference and notice how well your communication skills naturally improve.
Recommended pairings: this episode on non-violent communication discusses how to skillfully and mindfully navigate the sometimes-shaky terrain of human need through the art of communication.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
All of this is true:
Freedom is not what you think it is. Break the conditioning you have around "being obligated" to do anything and watch your life improve.
You're always free and yet you're never in control of anything (except yourself). Learn to navigate this reality and you will serve to your highest potential.
Own your decisions and experience more empowerment, gratitude, and opportunity.
Use meditation and mindfulness to understand what truly matters to you and your own agency to claim the life you want, consequences be damned. Then you will truly know your options.
Reaching maturity as a person of service requires a certain level of personal responsibility. This means accepting both whatever happens in-the-moment and in the broad narrative of your life as something that you have freely chosen to engage in.
Past episodes to refer to:
My discussions of empowered service and Karma Yoga are great companion pieces to this one.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Conclusion of the series designed to help you develop strength, grit and self-sufficiency by making peace with realities that you may not readily acknowledge. They seem grim on the surface, but are troves of wisdom that will help you be mindful, empowered service professionals. This one is about shedding entitlement.
All of this is true:
Self-worth is not a function of how much you think you deserve. Shed this old conditioning, hack feelings of non-acceptance and take your service game to the next level.
Entitlement is not grand, pompous and puffed up, but can be found disrupting little interactions we have. Learn how to recognize it and find acceptance.
Learn to be a "service alchemist" - it's not good enough to tolerate challenging or unpleasant situations. You need to convert the experience to something that is valuable to yourself and others.
Our sense of identity and power as service professionals is unexpectedly blocked by entitled thinking and nourished by owning our humble role. See this episode on power and humility for a deeper look at empowered service.
People can tell when you own where you're at and will respect your self-acceptance much more than someone walking around thinking they deserve better and reject their present lot in life.
Refer to the episode on Karma Yoga to experience a great companion piece to this one and learn a powerful and practical ancient practice that you can apply to any service role. Basically, learn how to make action (i.e. all the things you do) a means of serving the moment and always learning how to do it better.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
It's the podcast's 50th episode anniversary so I am discussing principles to take your service mindset to the next level - and it involves a starting from an open, unbiased perspective. The Zen principle of "The Beginner's Mind" involves a sort of "wise innocence" that allows maximum readiness, learning and growth from any given moment without abandoning all the knowledge and skill you've developed over the years.
All of this is possible:
Bring presence and enthusiasm to situations that others would find boring, repetitious or overly familiar.
Recognize how each moment is unique and has uniquely deep lessons to offer you.
Learn the true reason why no one like's a know-it-all and why displaying vulnerability and imperfect understanding is charming.
All the growth and inspiration that a service situation will provide you will always be unexpected. You can't force it, but you can increase its likelihood by serving in a very simple way. Ask yourself this simple question to maximize how you show up in the moment.
It's still possible to assert what you know and where you stand, while maintaining the beginner's mind. I discuss the right intentions to have while doing this.
My amazing episode with tea monk Wu De gets more into this principle from a Zen perspective.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Understand what power truly is and how service is the perfect place to cultivate it. However, really tapping into its transformative power requires more humility than we are usually willing.
All of this is true:
Power is not what you think it is. We misunderstand power as something you have over others (dominance, manipulation, influence), when it is something you cultivate within and export in service of others.
Service is a means of cultivating inner power and testing how far you have truly come.
Learn about the relationship between humility, discomfort and power from wandering tea monk Baisao as well as Darikapa, the Indian king that let his spiritual teacher sell him as a slave to a prostitute in order to awaken him to his true potential.
Break "obligation consciousness" (the belief that you are being forced to serve) to develop gratitude for the opportunity of service as well as an understanding of what your options truly are.
When you realize that you’re an empowered person of service, you understand your capacity to meet any situation as the person you want to be and alchemize it’s challenges into a medium for your own growth. Things that trigger you aren’t received passively with the story “oh well, they’re horrible and I’m a victim of their awefulness.” They get digested by the light within you and burned into a fuel for self-understanding.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
The series continues. Develop strength, grit and self-sufficiency by making peace with realities that we normally avoid. They seem grim on the surface, but are troves of wisdom that help us be mindful empowered service professionals. This one is about gratitude and adaptability.
All of this is true:
If everything went you’re way you’d get bored and learn nothing (about yourself and life). Connect to the part of you that craves and embraces uncertainty and stands at the ready for life to inevitably deliver the challenges that you most need (especially if you don't immediately see the value in them).
The art of acceptance is a powerful practice that doesn’t involve you giving up your ability to lead, innovate and inspire positive change. In fact, you can’t have one without the other.
Mastering positivity, optimism and saying yes is not a shiny happy personality trait - it’s an internal process of readiness and strength.
Happiness and thriving = being a good "customer of life” (i.e. adaptable and appreciative). Your experiences in service will give you models of how to be that…and how to really not be that.
See the episode on Karma Yoga to learn one of the most powerful and practical ancient practices that you can apply to service. Basically, learn how to make action (i.e. all the things you do) a means of serving the moment and always learning how to do it better.
(Please forgive the rustling sounds in the first few minutes of the episode - I did not have time to re-record).
Alan Watts - The Dream of Life (3:38 min YouTube Video)
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
The series continues. Realities we avoid acknowledging that can provide us with strength, grit and self-sufficiency. They seem grim on the surface, but are troves of wisdom that help us be mindful empowered service professionals. This one is about personal responsibility.
All of this is true:
The “personal” aspect of personal responsibility needs to be emphasized here. You aren’t responsible for the experiences of others…and yet you will find that you get infinitely better results by being considerate of them.
You don’t need to feel deficient just because someone responded negatively to something you said or did - that was their choice. You just need to show up with care, attention and understanding.
You serve well when you know that you are free to do and act in whichever way that you choose to. And the choice to always do what is best for you and the situation is always available. You are free to be bold, fierce and confrontational, or gracious and accommodating - know when you are on the right end of the spectrum in any given situation.
You will be resilient to challenging environments by never having a victim mentality. Ultimately anything anyone says is harmless. Victimization is simply a belief you form.
You are worthy to work somewhere where you are protected from abuse and harassment. And you are strong enough to protect others from it. Break your beliefs that you are sentenced to serve somewhere that doesn’t care about their people.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
The series continues. Realities we avoid acknowledging that can provide us with strength, grit and self-sufficiency. They seem grim on the surface, but are troves of wisdom that help us be mindful empowered service professionals.
Making a drama out of our differences and the need to be the one that's right is one of the greatest obstacles to being of service. I discuss how to understand and hack righteousness. And to know when it’s working is subtle and insidious ways.
All of this is true:
The desire to feel connected to the people you serve is often what's behind your resentment of them. Our need for people to seem similar to us causes conflict when they demonstrate preferences that trigger us. Learn how to feel connected by adapting to the people you serve rather than just hoping they adapt to you. Shore up adaptation energy with meditation.
The best way to inspire conflict is to deny someone’s reality. I explore subtle ways that we do this in the service environment and the best way to catch yourself and shift into a way of showing up that is much simpler and .
“The customer is always right” does not mean what you think it means. Learn how to use this to be able to understand and support the people you serve while maintaining boundaries. “The server is never right” simply means that you are never right when you have a point to prove. You are always right when you are attentive to the present moment.
Attempting to educate or advise requires the right conditions and agreements from the people you serve - I discuss how to look for the signs such that you’re not being obnoxious and preachy.
I explore ways that our broken service culture has resulted in restaurant guests developing guilty conditioning around “bothering” servers for anything. Why and how this needs to shift - and why it’s vital for both parties to benefit.
You need to know yourself and your motivations for wanting to engage the people you serve - are they driven by your love of caring for people or something more ego-driven? I discuss the "letting go" skills you need to get joy serving people that want to be left alone and not engage the server.
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
My reflection on the fascinatingdiscussion with Kelsey Mathes in the most recent interview episode "Ego-Driven Fear, Self-Transformation, Empowered Work…and Other Barroom Chat." A short episode providing summaries, key takeaways and impactful ideas.
Key Points:
- How to deal with periods where we realize that we're over-committed to aspect of our lives that are no longer serving us.
- We over-dramatize our lives to give them meaning, but this absorbs your energy and identity into your circumstances. Plug into who you really are through meditation and mindfulness, and break your need to define yourself by your circumstances. This is how you create resilience to challenging environments.
- We have conditioned ourselves out of essential learning skills since childhood - reconnecting with them can bring untold growth and success. The ego worries about performance and keeping everything save and consistent. I look at how this impacts people in service and hospitality and how we become vulnerable to trapping ourselves in the stories of the ego.
- If we do it unconsciously, the work we do helps perpetuate a low self-image. If it's done conscious helps us become the powerful, masterful person we want to be.
- 3 false beliefs about hospitality work that lead us to believe that we are not becoming a capable and powerful human being. How to make it a practice for being the person we want to be. How it leads to greater success in all areas of life than developing skills, knowledge or "resume items."
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Kelsey Mathes is a transformational coach and meditation teacher who also happens to be forged in the fires of a long hospitality career. She now works with people to help them start businesses and side hustles - especially when they are held back by job and life obligations that are no longer serving them. She incorporates her training as a meditation teacher with Ziva meditation and holistic health consultant to give her clients the tools to shift their lives by shifting themselves from the inside. She was kind enough to talk about her recent foray back into a service-oriented job and all the ways her experience has enriched her health and well-being mission, Kam Meditation.
*Episode Note: there are some sounds of typing, bumps and cell notifications which may make this my most unprofessional sounding episode to date. I have up-leveled my production game and developed protocols to ensure cleaner audio in the future.
All of this is true:
- Doing what you want to do with your life is not a matter of skill, knowledge or capability, but a surprisingly simple mindset.
- We have conditioned ourselves out of essential learning skills since childhood - reconnecting with them can bring untold growth and success.
- There are powerful aspects of your mind that want to keep everything the same. You can work with them rather than against them to create positive change in your life.
- Working in hospitality can be a sustainable and inspiring profession - but this depends on the choices you make. We look at how you need to shift your relationships to the work you do.
- Overdramatizing neutral situations can give them meaning and even be a requirement for showing that we are caring and motivated. Kelsey and I discuss far more empowered alternatives.
- If you are not where you want to be in life, what needs to change: your circumstances or yourself? Kelsey helps explore this question and offers valuable tools and perspectives that you can apply to your life.
All Roads That Lead to Kelsey:
Kam Meditation
Instagram
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
All of this is true:
- I'm experimenting with shorter episode times (for solo stuff). Let me know how you like this format.
- The Japanese slogan of tea ceremony "Ichi-go Ichi-e" essentially means the threat of constant assassination can make you more mindful, grateful, and of service.
- Gratitude is empowering in ways that you can't imagine.
- Truly living requires an "ownership reversal" means taking ownership of what's not
- Gratitude requires the strength of a warrior because it involves breaking all conditioning around behaviors that you don't like.
- You can convert all of people's rude, mean and inconsiderate behavior you experience to you to fuel for growth and further service.
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
All of this is true:
- I'm experimenting with shorter episode times (for solo stuff). Let me know how you like this format.
- People don't suck, you just expect them to be different than they are.
- You can have expectations, priorities, preferences, goals, etc., and still be nimble enough to respond to reality dealing you a different hand...in fact this is the key to truly thriving. I discuss how to develop a non-attached relationship to your expectations of the people you serve o you can have more success and less frustration.
- You don't need a higher position in order to be a leader - you just need to be more compassionate, adaptive and understanding of reality than your current manager.
- "Managing expectations" in your guests should not be nearly as important at managing yourself and the emotional energy you invest in frustration, disappointment and resentment.
- Why indifference is not the solution. There are far more empowered solutions.
Visit my partner: Institute for Organizational Mindfulness
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
My reflections on my fascinating discussion with Wu De in the previous episode: Walk The Line Between Freedom & Discipline – Interview w/ Zen Tea Monk Wu De. I'll now be doing follow up episodes that summarize some of the points made in the interview and connect them do the challenges and opportunities of service life.
Key Points:
- How Cha Dao (sitting with and serving tea mindfully) has completely transformed my ability to serve, live and do everything.
- Taking practice beyond the mat/cushion: the power and importance of being mindful in everything we do.
- How a practices like Chao Dao connects you with "Dharma". This is a simpler and easier to connect with than you think: it's simply a matter of developing your intuitive ability such that you can say: "What do I feel I absolutely must be doing with myself right now."
- Freedom vs. discipline, acceptance vs. self-work. Knowing the pitfalls of going too hard or too soft, and when to adjust focus. Know when to prioritize technique and when to prioritize the essence of why you're learning technique.
- Authenticity is not just "following your impulses". How "being yourself" isn't just a matter of being ungoverned. Learning how to be more mannered and adapting to others actually allows you to be more effectively yourself via relationship-building.
- Become important in a job where it is hard to. Doing this one simple, and slightly parental thing - value others!
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
All of this is true:
Wu De provides a fascinating introduction to the lost art of Cha Dao (The Way of Tea), a practice that both inspired me to be a better hospitality professional and a better meditation teacher.
Sitting with tea (real tea) in attentive silence for a few minutes every day will absolutely transform your life.
As "civilized" humans we have lost connection (or more: "sense of connection") to nature and the innate wisdom it provides us with. Sitting with tea mindfully can re-connect us to our natural intuitive brilliance as people. Our potential for insight is found in a place of stillness and listening, which means going counter to our culture of motion.
"Freedom is not doing what you want, but doing absolutely what you must:" discipline may seem rigid and restricting, but it's ultimately liberating. Mastery of anything is a play between restriction and looseness. You’re always practicing, always working on form and yet you’re always willing to forget form to allow fluidity and spontaneity.
“When you’re with me you can do nothing right and when you’re on your own you can do nothing wrong:” having access to lineage teachers, training, and accumulated wisdom is necessary and empowering.
“The best way to matter to others is to allow them to matter what to you:” One of the greatest gifts you can be given is the opportunity to serve.
All Roads That Lead To Wu De:
Get His BooksExplore Global Tea Hut
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Part two of the five-part series on becoming mentally and emotionally self-sufficient. Serve with the warrior spirit by reconciling and learning to navigate the hard truth that....
3) No one is going to save you.
4) Pleasure doesn't last.
This episode gives you the tools to:
::Know how to engage with important and influential people such that you stand out from the status-seekers.
::Create relationships that have integrity and allow you to be of value to others.
::Create your own opportunities for growth and success that are better than anything someone you're hoping to "network with" can offer you.
::Be your own source of self-worth and break dependency on others for validation.
::Know how to deal with difficult, self-important and impossible-to-please clientele.
Honestly, once you take ownership of these hard realities, your life of service becomes a source of freedom, empowerment and fulfillment.
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
This series is about reminding you of the inner strength you have to become mentally and emotionally self-sufficient. Because service requires having the warrior spirit. This means being able to show up to the role when you can't depend on being received openly and warmly by those you serve (openness and warmth are your job). Resilience and adaptiveness are key, which is why I'm so excited about the pain, revelation and surprising optimism that these 10 hard truths will provide. This multi-part series hopes break any dependencies you have on others acting the way you want. And dependencies on life going the way you want it to. It's not gonna. And it's gonna end soon (see Truth no. 6: You're Going To Die).
This episode covers the first two:
1) No one cares about you.
2) You’re never going to make anyone happy (or even happier).
Ouch. Once you get over the shock, listen to the episode and learn the tools to hack what seems like a grim reality. Honestly, once you take ownership of them, these principles are the raw material for freedom, empowerment and fulfillment.
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
All of this is true:
- Jennifer discovered and built a wholesome, inspired lifestyle around her hospitality career, which then drove her into a path of self-development. We discuss how and why such awakening is so uncommon in this industry even though it's so utterly crucial...especially if your work is more a means to an end than a passion.
- We examine the traps of the “noble struggle” identity. Working hard can not only distract you from doing right by yourself, but create a conditioning that we're not earning it unless we're suffering and sacrificing.
- You should definitely pursue a job will give you a sense of confidence and authority…so you can see how little you truly need it for that (the true source of confidence is you).
- You can ease the stress-response of a high-pressure situation by embracing it as what we’re designed for.
- Break codependency by redirecting your service instincts to yourself (away from the need to feed your martyr complex).
All Roads That Lead to Jennifer:
Jennifer Lancaster (Instagram)
Jennifer Lancaster (Facebook)
The Other Side of Dining (Facebook)
(Not To Tell You What You Need, But...) Serve Conscious Things You Need To Check Out:
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Alexa Flash Briefing
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Instagram
::Post a shout out that you're listening to the show and I will post back and tag you!::
All of this is true:
::Years ago, I learned that service isn't just for work. Everything in life can be defined on those terms. And must be questioned: Is it a worthy input of energy? Am I doing it skillfully such that I am really serving the best parts of myself and others?
::I started hating hospitality right when I should have been loving it the most - and the deep lessons that it taught me about service.
::We're all serving something...so we may as well make it an art.
::You need to ask yourself, in any moment: "what God am I worshipping?" (I mean the modern Gods: social media, work, vanity, etc.).
::Why being selfish doesn't make you as fulfilled as being of service to others.
::How the story of 18th Zen master Baisao teaches us to turn the most humblest fields of work into our base for making the world a better place (in fact...the humbler the better.
(Not To Tell You What You Need, But...) Serve Conscious Things You Need To Check Out:
::The Forthcoming Book::
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Alexa Flash Briefing
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Instagram
::Post a shout out that you're listening to the show and I will post back and tag you!::
All of this is true:
::I give a 15-minute soliloquy confronting the critiques of corporate mindfulness training as some sort of initiative to "pacify" employees.
::Finally, at long last, I introduce Catherine Sherlock who has her own very interesting critiques of corporate mindfulness training. She describes the "against-the-grain" approach she offers leaders, groups and individuals through her company Higher Mindfulness.
::Catherine defines mindfulness and discusses the limitations of how it is taught to organizations today.
::Mindfulness is not quantitative: it's not about being aware of a higher amount of stuff, but of stuff of higher importance.
::Different meditations produce different brain states and Catherine teaches people to choose the right meditation and mindfulness program for their individual life goals.
::Self-compassion is crucial, especially during the early phases of mindfulness practice: break "I need good at this or I beat myself up” conditioning.
::It is very powerful to regularly ask yourself, "Where in my life am I not being a leader?"
::Break “prove yourself” conditioning and you can truly lead.
::Real inner power looks like comfort in the world and your place in it.
::Having a sense of belonging must be internal as well as external.
::One-off trainings are weighed against teaching leaders who can then help their organization weave it into their culture.
::Emotional intelligence requires that you know when you’re handling emotions properly, and when you’re being overly repressed or tolerant in order to feel like you’re “in control of yourself.
::You can deal with workplace bullying without being contentious and obsessive...sometimes this involves knowing you can't deal with it at all.
All Roads That Lead To Catherine:
Higher Mindfulness
Higher Mindfulness (Facebook)
Catherine Sherlock (LinkedIn)
(Not To Tell You What You Need, But...) Serve Conscious Things You Need To Check Out:
::The Forthcoming Book::
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Alexa Flash Briefing
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Instagram
::Post a shout out that you're listening to the show and I will post back and tag you!::
All of this is true:
:: Confidence is not what you think it is: it's quiet, effortless and relaxing to be around.
:: To make the people you serve feel safe and cared for you need to feel safe being you - and care for yourself above all else.
:: Thinking you need some particular reason to be confident is just social conditioning.
:: You can't depend on society, management or anything outside of yourself for confidence.
:: You can become confident by accepting yourself as you are (without needing skills, achievements, or other status signifiers) - cultivate confidence from within!
:: How serving and being aware of the value you bring simply by showing up for that role can help reunite you with your innate sense of confidence.
(Not To Tell You What You Need, But...) Serve Conscious Things You Need To Check Out:
::The Forthcoming Book::
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Alexa Flash Briefing
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Instagram
::Post a shout out that you're listening to the show and I will post back and tag you!::
All of this is true...
::Emotional intelligence allows you to de-identify with emotions in order to feel, understand and operate with them at the same time.
::Intense emotions make us self-absorbed and emotional intelligence brings our awareness to others.
::There are simple shifts you can make in how you communicate (with others and yourself) to help you manage high-pressure situations.
::Multitasking is actually just monotasking with unfocused attention. How to give your fullest attention to each task you’re doing when there are piles of tasks to juggle simultaneously.
::There are times when open awareness Is useful and times when is it not. It’s important to understand how to be mindful while also allowing unconscious processes to occur.
::You can hack "amygdala hijack" (when the part of our brain that makes us run away or bite things takes over our mental processes) to be able to meet intense situations head on.
::Being too giving to those that need care can compromise your ability to be a caregiver. “Mindful caregiving” is essential for preventing burnout, misery and deteriorating health.
All Roads That Lead To Janet:
Janetfouts.com
Twitter
LinkedIn
Nearly Mindful
Nearly Mindful (Facebook)
(Not To Tell You What You Need, But...) Serve Conscious Things You Need To Check Out:
::The Forthcoming Book::
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Alexa Flash Briefing
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Instagram
::Post a shout out that you're listening to the show and I will post back and tag you!::
All of this is true:
::Yoga & meditation are not just meant to be in isolation, but a practice you bring into everything - including, especially, any kind of work.
::You can master the rest/activity cycle so your demanding life isn't costing you resources, but contributing to them.
::Karma yoga is the unsung hero of self-development practices.
::Acting according to your highest truth is all you need to do...caring about the results is a waste of effort.
::True selflessness is not what you think it is.
::True service can be done with the smallest of efforts. (As long as certain conditions are met...).
::You can be of service in a way that generates inner power rather than disabling you into a mindless state of servitude. And the the line that separates the two is oh-so-fine.
::A truly free society consists of everyone practicing Karma Yoga.
::A simple shift of expectations allows you to embrace the unknown, drop your patterning, and free yourself of the endless rollercoaster of pleasure and pain.
::Every moment is practice for the kind of person you want to be. How to really show up for that.
::You can become a sage warrior without becoming Hitler.
(Not To Tell You What You Need, But...) Serve Conscious Things You Need To Check Out:
::The Forthcoming Book::
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Alexa Flash Briefing
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Instagram
::Post a shout out that you're listening to the show and I will post back and tag you!::
Go Deeper Into The Mindful Service Movement:
Explore The Book ToC w/ Live Content Links
Join the Facebook Community & Bring Us Your Service Struggles & Insights!
Follow Me on Instagram & Learn Mindful Ninja Moves
Subscribe/Review on i-Tunes & I'll Mail You A Basket of Kittens
Visit my partner:
All of this is true:
::You can listen to someone as though you are watching a great movie.
::Quality of listening always beats the quantity of time spent listening.
::Being a better listener is what allows you to be a better communicator in general.
::Mindfulness can cure anything from burnout to memory problems.
::Setting mindfulness triggers on specific activities can improve the quality of attention you automatically give to everything
::Are you communicating the right thing? Three questions to ask yourself before speaking.
::Hate being interrupted? You need to master "Enryo Sasshi", the Japanese art of respecting the listener.
All Roads That Lead to Rebecca:
Mindful Communication (homepage)
Rebecca's Email
The Zen of Listening (book)
CoreCoaching for students, professionals and entrepreneurs
Organizational Health Consultation to companies
**Things to come: Rebecca is currently writing a book called "The COREageous Entrepreneur: Four Core Skills and Routines Every Founder Needs to Succeed "
(Not To Tell You What You Need, But...) Serve Conscious Things You Need To Check Out:
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Alexa Flash Briefing
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Instagram
::Post a shout out that you're listening to the show and I will post back and tag you!::
All of the following is true:
::Talking to dead celebrities and channeled celestial beings can make a great interview podcast.
::Vulnerability and realness is a very effective means of transferring wisdom. Alexa's mission to help the world transcend its issues is bolstered by her willingness to process her own along with them.
::At the snap of a finger, you can suddenly leave a high-octane lifestyle as an artist manager in the music industry to embark on a path as healer and spiritual content creator - such sudden transformation can certainly be inspired by a spontaneous deformation of your face.
::Emotional Freedom Technique is very powerful.
::Walking dogs can teach you how to truly be of service to humanity.
::Alexa is funny and down-to-earth and you should totally listen to the Innerbloom Podcast and Positive Head (both of which she is the host).
All roads that lead to Alexa:
alexasoothes.com (Homepage)
Innerbloom Podcast
Positive Head Podcast
(Not To Tell You What You Need, But...) Serve Conscious Things You Need To Check Out:
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Alexa Flash Briefing
::Mindful Ninja Moves:: Instagram
::Post a shout out that you're listening to the show and I will post back and tag you!::
Sherry Olander is a DEI consultant (Dynamic Emotional Integration), which is an emotional mastery system guaranteed to challenge every paradigm and stigma our culture has around what it means to feel - and that includes most spiritual and self-development sensibilities. This system spins your emotional life 180 degrees: every “unwanted” feeling you originally considered disruptive, weakening or even crippling becomes valuable. Anger, shame, sadness, all gets alchemized into useful information regarding your role and imperative in the present moment.
We discuss:
::The importance of understanding our own emotions in order to develop social competence.
::Why the problem is not the emotion itself (or even too much of it), but its integration with the rest of the emotional consortium of the mind.
::Self-inquiry techniques to channel emotions into a free-flowing state where they can have their highest value.
::The perils of “positive” emotions in the absence of intelligence and maturity.
::Boundary-setting as a key to dealing with "difficult people".
::The value of "conscious complaining" (and not obnoxious and disempowered).
All Roads That Lead to Sherry & Dynamic Emotional Integration:
Quintessence Living
Quintessence Living (Facebook)
Karla McLaren’s collection of YouTube videos
Karla McLaren's blogs by subject
Emotion Dynamics Events
…And Some Serve Conscious Matters:
Mindful Ninja Moves
Rate/Subscribe on iTunes
All Podcast Episodes
In this episode:
::How Rachael transitioned from studying psychology to developing a massively popular online mindful education resource.
::Her highly methodical approach to cultivating a mindful life and all the little avenues of life it can be incorporated into - eating, showering, etc.
::How being present unexpectedly helps you strategize for the future.
::Rachael’s story of working in restaurants and how it collided with being a highly sensitive and empathic person.
::How being mindful helps you navigate intense emotions.
::Mindful assertiveness and strategies for setting boundaries.
::How being of service means taking care of yourself.
All Roads That Lead To Rachael:
www.rachaelkable.com
Instagram
Facebook
Pinterest
The Mindful Kind Book
And A Bit About My Stuff:
Subscribe To The Serve Conscious Podcast On iTunes
Learn Mindful Ninja Moves!
I was privileged to have the opportunity to speak with the industry-defining Dushan Zaric. We discuss how he took the craft of bartending and hospitality and made it a modern wisdom tradition. How this informed the extraordinarily unique work culture of Employees Only as not only a nurturing family-oriented environment, but an academy of self-mastery for its staff. And that covers maybe 6 of the 100+ amazing minutes of our chat. So many incredible stories and philosophies forged from a life of passion, deep self-exploration and hardship transmuted into powerful insights. So fortunate to have him share some of that goodness with me.
A Few Episode Highlights:
:: The energetic exchange of hospitality - how to make it an energy-increasing experience rather than an energy-decreasing experience.
:: The bartender as the modern shaman and the huge responsibility that every type of today's server has to society.
:: How the quality of the server’s internal state determines the quality of the experience they create.
:: The profound inner silence of being “in the zone”: how to live in your most natural, fluid, adaptive state.
:: How the same service script can be performed with very different intents to yield totally different results.
:: The art of approval: how to transform someone’s life by being the person they almost definitely don’t have in their lives. And how simple this really is.
:: Just forgive: the importance of keeping relationships clean in a highly-networked lifestyle.
:: Techniques to use before work: from breathing, to meditation, to visualizing how you want the day/night to look.
:: Stories of crisis and loss that shape you personally and professionally...and how to really grow from them.
All Roads That Lead To Dushan:
Employees Only
Dushan Zaric (Instagram)
“Thinking you’re too enlightened to define yourself or want something from life is a trap. If you’re not playing your role in life truthfully, then you’re doing a disservice to the world.”
-Mike Ortiz
Tea as a consciousness-raising path...and a consciousness-raising livelihood: sure you can get deep wisdom and self-understanding from sitting with it...but also from selling it.
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Would having all the money in the world compromise your mission? Is hunger and basic human need what drives truly great work, i.e. work as a self-cultivation practice?
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Whether it really makes sense to think that certain roles don't define your identity. How else can really truly play them, then? Mike illuminates how using advanced acting principles (from the school of "Practical Aesthetics") unexpectedly allows you to more authentically show up to these major roles that life demands.
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When going out with people, when is the food and drink experience a buffer to really connecting and when is it a facilitator?
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How sitting together in silence allows a deeper and more authentic connection of one another.
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The power of breathing with intention/attention in frustrating situations. Oh...and remaining humble as f*ck.
All Roads That Lead To Michael:
JoJo Tea (Website)
JoJo Tea (Instagram)
Tea Time! With Mike & Mike Podcast (i-Tunes)
Michael Ortiz (Instagram)
In my inspiring conversation with Dan Cumberland of the Meaning Movement (and like half a dozen other projects), we discuss...
::How finding “meaningful work” does not always look like you think it will.
::How the “4 P’s” of meaningful work can be applied to restaurant service. Improve your relationship to the little aspects of the job and going to work totally gets transformed.
::How crisis is good…especially if you have a mentor like Dan. Pay attention to what has to change in your life now to prevent even greater personal and professional challenges down the road.
::How being driven by necessity can help us know who we are and what is meaningful to us.
::Does doing “work that matters” have to require breaking out of a 9-5 job?
::Finding a balance between generating a livelihood and living our mission.
All Roads That Lead To Dan:
Meaning Movement
The "Calling Course"
Meaning Movement (Facebook)
Dan Cumberland (Twitter)
In this episode...
:: I try to not be a hypocrite while I try to teach you about the power of listening by speaking uninterrupted for over an hour.
:: I discuss a Zen-based mindful communication practice taught by Greg Clowminzer that completely shifts what we think communication is.
:: I tell you all about how I, like everyone else, is one of two types of bad listeners...and then provide practices for overcoming each particular profile of challenges.
:: How "being social and talkative" does not make you a good communicator.
:: How to listen beyond just words. Truly overcoming your listening blocks means observing the context along with the content.
:: What listening has to do with our own identity and how much we are grounded in our true selves determines how well we listen.
The conclusion of our wonderful discussion about life, the self-mastery journey and all the silliness and hardship we need to embrace along the way.
This part discusses:
:: Enlightenment is not what you think (hint: it's mainly just drinking tea) and true self-knowledge means knowing your favorite shape.
:: Being a Zen teacher - when to wake up a student and when to let them wake themselves up.
:: Why death is a taboo in our culture (hint: because we aren’t truly living life).
:: Why you should seek and celebrate negative experiences.
:: Why you should never say “bless you” to Cory when he sneezes.
All Roads That Lead To Cory:
Mindfulness of Doom Podcast
corydharma.com
CoryDharma (Instagram)
Mindfulness of Doom (Instagram)
CoryDharma (Facebook)
Amazing stories and insights that include (but are definitely not limited to):
:: How Disney World, an accidental arrival at a death meditation and the former Nuclear advisor to the Reagan Administration led Cory to a path of mindfulness and spirituality.
:: How his Mindfulness of Doom podcast reveals that the only authentic way to live a spiritual life involves pain, suffering and dread.
:: How being “yourself" while being simultaneously in harmony with your environment is a lot like playing the bass.
:: How “mindfulness” itself is only 1/8th of a complete practice.
:: The merits of spending most of your time avoiding the teacher role - especially if you know a lot of useful things and love the act of teaching.
:: When being a performer gets in the way of connecting with people...and when it’s exactly what they need (and exactly what you need).
All Roads That Lead To Cory:
Mindfulness of Doom Podcast
corydharma.com
CoryDharma (Instagram)
Mindfulness of Doom (Instagram)
CoryDharma (Facebook)
In this episode I talk about:
:: The Zen approach to work: how to find joy and fulfillment doing anything…and how easy it is to disrupt this with our dependence of “growth” (and other such delusions).
:: How you’re always growing and evolving…even (sometimes especially) when you're “going backwards”
:: How taking a step backwards in your career is really just a step downwards…as in deeper into your self-understanding and your self-mastery.
:: Your professional growth: when it’s necessary to “backslide”, maintain your position, leap forward into a challenging new role, or make a dramatic change of location, employer or job.
:: My recent promotion at work and whether or not accepting it renders me a hypocrite.
:: Promotions and upward mobility: opportunities it might provide you…but what it can also cost you.
In this episode:
:: "It's that easy and it's that hard": Finding joy in life is as simple as slowing down and doing things that are satisfying in and of themselves.
:: The "doing mind": you can call it out for taking you away from being present and content...or you could find presence and contentment by having gratitude for what the doing mind is trying to give you.
:: The finer art of reflection: fast, effective ways of journaling that turn out to be more authentic than the long form musing we imagine it to be.
:: Tea and incense appreciation as a practice of mindfulness and contemplation.
:: "...and all of them must be real": The importance of having hobbies...actual ones, with actual persistence.
All Roads That Lead To Phillip:
Websites:
Totem Tea
Slow Empire
Instagram:
Totem Tea
Slow Empire
Phillip Sauerbeck
An amazingly rich and wide-reaching talk with Henry Yampolsky of the Living Peace Institute. He is a conscious mediator, teacher, trainer and author firmly grounded in legal expertise and Yogic principles. We discuss:
:: Henry's story of awakening from being a lawyer to mediator to meditation & Yoga teacher to conscious mediator.
:: How principles of mindfulness, meditation and Yoga can be incorporated into conflict scenarios to transform them into an arena of self-understanding and compassion equal to any spiritual practice.
:: How to separate impulse from intuition.
:: How to create space and time to meet challenging situations in a more mindful, self-aware and ultimate effective way - even in the craze of life.
:: How difficult conversations transform when we tap into the deep needs that drive our feelings.
:: How to know if a spiritual teacher really cares about you (hint: they profoundly upset you).
:: How serving tables in a restaurant can potentially change the world.
All roads that lead to Henry Yampolsky:
Living Peace Institute Homepage
Instagram
Instagram (Living Peace Institute)
Facebook
Facebook (Living Peace Institute)
Feeling discouraged because the challenges of life keep pulling you away from the better person you're trying to be? You're practicing meditation and promoting "higher values", but often feel you're living in total contradiction of them. Self-development coach David Tian and I meet in Orlando to discuss how getting discouraged by feelings of "hypocrisy" comes from a misunderstanding of the growth process. In fact, this place of contradiction and frustration is the most powerful place to be in to deepen our understanding of ourselves and this world we live in, and the true tragedy is in our dismissal of ourselves as "failures" with these condemning labels.
We also tend to discredit others when they don't seem to be "practicing what they preach". Or find fault in people simply when they trigger us, rather than taking accountability for how we feel and empowering ourselves to grow beyond these conditioned responses and, once again, learn something about ourselves.
This talk was inspired by a project we are currently working on to provide mindfulness tools, knowledge and practices to thrive in this place of inner tension and disappointment with ourselves (and others too).
An amazing discussion with Greg Clowminzer about true self-knowledge and its key ingredient: understanding the nature of thought. He provided so much insight on principles of mindful communication, service, and leadership as a spiritual path.
Greg has been a transformational business and life coach for over 25 years, combining his expertise in business strategy with his deep and multi-faceted background in Eastern spirituality, helping people cultivate principles (business and otherwise) that lead to true self-knowledge - the ultimate ingredient of success.
For Greg, the challenges of business life carve a spiritual path, providing a means of breaking through the faulty thinking that clouds our understanding of who we really are and the fullest potential of experience we can have in our lives. His generous and insightful spirit was inspiring to be around. Conversation with him does not, for a moment, lack meaning, purpose and power. I am excited for you to hear some of it.
All Roads That Lead To Greg Clowminzer:
Website
Twitter
Instagram
What is our nature? Are we really wired to be caring and all-inclusive or are we just barely-post-neanderthalic shitheads? Is it practical and authentic to be positive and loving?
My talk with Jonni Pollard - founder of the meditation community and app 1GiantMind - digs deep into questions like this as he discusses his new book “The Golden Sequence: A Manual For Reclaiming Our Humanity”. This talk is not to be missed. He speaks in sentences you want to snatch out of the air and shove in your pocket.
And it comes with good news: we're a pretty decent species after all. Says Jonni, If you're paying attention, connected and working out the kinks of yourself, your most natural state is joyful and loving. His book provides a bounty of clearly-worded techniques and perspectives to re-align us with this inner nature.
This is spirituality brought down to the most human levels, not suspended in mysticism or lofty ideals. This is a place of strength and realness, not fluffy spiritual bypassing. It’s a process that takes work, but it will drive you straight to self-realization - no detours in unnecessary life drama and self-loathing.
So much to be explored here...and so much relevance to people living lives and working jobs that are service-oriented. According to Jonni, this is the fullest expression of human potential, and the greatest medium for spiritual growth.
“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.”
-Eugene Ionesco
An interview with Marc Champagne, the visionary co-founder of the KYO App. We discuss the power of journaling. That’s right, sometimes the most mindful, growth-inspiring practices are things we did in grade school. However…they need to be done properly and with the right intent. Technology helps with this by making it a more portable, interactive, fluid and therefore effective practice.
The KYO App accomplishes this by creating a tool that allows you to journal on the go…with the addition of a very powerful feature: the ability to prompt questions to yourself at certain days and times. It's also loaded with guides to conscious living, well-being and self-improvement that can provide you with the powerful and challenging questions you aren’t thinking to ask yourself.
And this episode comes with a special opportunity for us, the Serve Conscious audience: a free month to try the entire paid version of the app (though the free one is still pretty damned robust).
From your phones...
Use this link to download/register.
And this link to activate the 30-day access period.
Try this out. All the smart guys say questions are everything. Just Google something like "all problems in life come from not asking the right questions” and you'll see.
All roads that lead to the KYOApp world:
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In this episode...
:: Discover a mode of communication where everybody wins no matter how contradictory each party's demands are.
:: How to cut through the bull and identify the true needs behind what people are saying...and how that puts you in a position of (benevolent) power.
:: Learn the difference between needs and neediness. And how to defuse the grip needs have on us by seeing their hidden value.
:: See unexpected ways that we've been conditioned out of knowing ourselves and communicating honestly.
:: Learn how to direct your attention to stay clear on what's happening...especially when you're getting triggered by people.
:: Know when it's not okay to just throw everything on the table.
Yeah, knowledge isn’t really power (as we were taught in school). Using it properly is power. However, knowledge can make other people put you in a position of power over them. And true wisdom means not taking advantage of that position (even when it is in a very small, everyday moment in life - and the stakes aren’t as high as say a medical, therapeutic or spiritual guidance situation). I discuss how to treat the constantly emerging teacher-student relationship humbly, ethically, and with a service mindset.
In this episode:
-At any moment, in any area of life, we have the power to initiate a teacher-student dynamic. Discusses the important and delicate nuances of this dynamic and how to respect them.
-Discussions about ethics, service, power and spirituality in ways that are hopefully more exciting than whatever quotes I’ve been reading.
-How to speak in ways that connect and don't divide.
-What the Erotic Underground of Toronto in the 1980s has to teach us about ethics and the art of service.
-How being ethical means being present.
-As always, you will learn unexpected ways that serving tables teaches you how to cultivate and embody wisdom.
I talk about how to master skills, which then shape us into people that are even more awesome. I talk about the value of sticking with something even (especially, actually) when it gets boring and repetitive. Modern life has conditioned us to hate this "plateau" phases and instead seek peak experiences and instant gratification. This distracts us from the power of continuing to show up and practice at skills we feel aren’t giving us the growth they used to. Any ideas of growth slowing or stopping are total misperceptions: these mundane realms of life are where the magic is! This applies to service jobs or anything in life we are pursuing. For those in the service industry, special emphasis is given to the very real way that service industry skills prepare us for any challenge or aspiration we may have during our after our service career.
"There’s no value in digging shallow wells in a hundred places. Decide on one place and dig deep. Even if you encounter a rock, use dynamite and keep going down. If you leave that to dig another well, all the first effort is wasted and there is no proof you won’t hit rock again."
-Swami Satchidananda
This episode is about how we have limited opportunities to really make conversation count, so why not speak to the highest place in people and watch them light up. I discuss the skillful ways of doing this without seeming fawning, manipulative or churning with agenda. Then I give you conversational tools that make people love talking to you...only to then show you how it's better to forget all that and be spontaneous (but, this time, with intent). You can learn how letting the other person shine is an empowered position. Or just be entertained with stories of me bartending with social anxiety, how I avoided dealing with my deficiencies by keeping my head buried in snobbery, and the hilariously simple truths that woke me from my fever dream of neurosis.
What's the best way to apply spiritual practices? How about challenging basically everything. In this episode I speak with Angie Vroom, a meditation teacher with a uniquely socially conscious vision. We explore how Eastern practices and philosophies give activism some unexpected firepower. And how critical thinking makes spiritual practice that much more complete. People are often hesitant to connect these two worlds - especially modern Western spiritual people that are committed to the “love and light” sensibility - but will be amply rewarded when they do. Meditate, then get real, get uncomfortable, and stand for what you believe in - for Angie, awareness-enhancing practices like meditation and mindfulness make us especially capable (and almost obligated) to do this. We also somehow ended up talking about restaurants and how this all fits into the system of professional service. Don’t ask how, just listen, then go kick ass - it’s a truly awesome talk.
Everything is relationships. So who better to give us deep insights on that than self-development coach David Tian. He has a pHD in Eastern Philosophy, which he has parlayed into an extremely successful career as a dating coach. His work has since evolved into developing a broad range of programs to teach general mastery of relationships, career, health and, most importantly, oneself. He is an absolute education machine, putting out tons of content and forming huge discussion communities. His rich perspective on what it means to be a human (and the most effective one we can be) is not to be missed.
Serving anything well means having a mindset of abundance - a concept that has unexpected roots in Eastern spirituality. You’d think that meditating and being “enlightened” means being “beyond the material”, but a fuller way to live a conscious life requires that you actually honor all the “stuff". Having an enthusiasm for sharing is a true act of non-attachment (and the key to being the ultimate service professional). I discuss how to have a sense of boundless resources and be an agent of generosity…only to then observe everything you give come right back to you in multiples! Generosity leads to greater success and opportunity so just do it (smartly of course…I also discuss haphazard ways of doing it). Happy thanksgiving!
For someone in the CIA, the ability to gather, interpret and action information is so vital that it can mean the difference between life and death. For us everyday folks, information gathering may not have such dramatic implications, but our very quality of life depends on the quality of every little interaction. And mastering that space between intake and response means mastering the way we navigate life. Especially as it concerns our relationship to others (which is often what brings life's greatest challenges). We look at ways of seeing humanity and familiarity in even the most difficult people to free ourselves from the challenges they bring. Includes unexpected life lessons from samurai's, the TV series Homeland, Chick-Fil-A's unique training program and a legendary moment between Robert Di Nero and Al Pacino.
Very excited to speak with my friend Jeremy Moreau, editor-in-chief of a hospitality training program called Jerry.Global, developed by visionary Restaurant/Bar Suppliers & Consultants Proof & Company. We discuss the fuller way that hospitality professionals can be mentored so that their work has more value, meaning, and general effectiveness. We also discuss the art of information gathering, remaining measured and attentive, and ways of overcoming the rigors of the service situation.
Discusses the user experience in hospitality. I study Danny Meyer and the high benchmark of service that his restaurants are responsible for setting. He puts mindfulness to work by creating unique, precious moments for their guests. I look at how this high level of conscientiousness can be applied to court success in all areas of life. And, most importantly, we look at how the "inner game" of service takes these possibilities of this even further.
Whether at work or in our personal lives, it is not easy to remain gracious and steady when someone is being abusive and unreasonable. I talk about techniques that can be used to penetrate through someone’s difficult shield towards a collaborative solution. And also how to effectively use the emotions you feel getting churned up in the process. Sometimes being mindful involves being a hostage negotiator.
Here, I talk about the power of meditation to simply make us better humans (serving well is dependent on our ability to own this "human vessel" we've been born into). I go through the unexpected ways it transforms your life and the ways it upgrades us that not enough people are talking about. You'll learn how to meditation in about 3 minutes flat (thought I do recommend referring to the meditation guide for more details) and how to adapt these seemingly mystical Eastern philosophy principles to your life in a very practical.
It's a long podcast because my relationship to this practice runs very deep, but it is not to be missed if you want some more clarity on what is probably the most effective pound-for-pound investment you can make in yourself.
A look at the phenomenon of "snarky server" restaurants and bars. What attracts people to them and, more importantly, what is repelling them from somewhere full of friendly accommodating staff. What does this say about human psychology? What are the virtues of irreverence? What obstacles does it create? And are you the kind of service professional that would thrive in such an environment?
Kevin owns Fly Awake Tea House in Portland Oregon, a uniquely social space that seems to gather the most interesting people in Portland to enjoy a quality of tea not often provided to Westerners. It started in his garage and received such a powerful response that he soon had to move to a cozy space off a main commercial strip. This success didn't just happen because of the quality of Chinese tea he was serving (though that definitely represents the level of care and intentionality that infuses every aspect of the venue). Kevin and his servers seem to provide people with a rare feeling of comfort and intimacy amongst strangers. They accomplish this by...well, being themselves, effortlessly inspiring almost anyone to come out of their shells and join in on some elevated tea-fueled conversation. Even...actually, especially...if they are introverted. Kevin was kind enough to speak with me over some tea (of course) and share some of his insights about service, self-awareness, tea and human connection.