Securely Attached: Recent Episodes
Dr. Sarah Bren
Securely Attached is your source for psychologically informed, research based information about parenting, child development, and the fundamentals of fostering secure attachment relationships with our kids. Through deep dives into specific topics, engaging interviews with specialists and Q&A sessions that answer real listener questions, this podcast will help caregivers to understand the building blocks of children’s social, emotional, and cognitive development. Securely Attached is for anyone who wants to peek under the hood of their child’s behaviors and gain an understanding of the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship. Parents to children of all ages, from birth to the teen years, as well as anyone who needs to reparent their own inner child, will find something useful in this podcast!
About Sarah Bren, PhD As a licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Sarah specializes in psychodynamic and relationship-based approaches in her work with children and families. She has a particular passion for equipping parents with tools to understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are authentic, confident, resilient, and kind.
Vered Benhorin, music therapist and Baby in Tune founder, joins me to explore how music and connection can be powerful tools in your parenting toolbox.
Together we explore:
- Why creating just a few intentional moments of connection each day matters far more than trying to be perfectly present all the time.
- The simple shift that can transform ordinary routines like diaper changes, snack time, or bedtime into relationship-building moments.
- How music can help you stay playful and connected before everyday frustrations turn into power struggles.
- Why following your child's lead during moments of exploration benefits both of your nervous systems.
- How songs can become emotional shortcuts that help your child feel safe, understood, and connected when big feelings arise.
- The surprising reason these "bubble moments" are just as important for parents as they are for children.
- Why the joy and wonder children experience can help us see the world differently, no matter how old they are.
Whether you're parenting a newborn, a toddler, or a teenager, this conversation is a gentle reminder that secure attachment isn't built through perfection. It's built through small moments of presence, delight, and connection that add up over time.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Baby in Tune
🎧 Vered on Spotify
🎧 Vered on Apple Music
📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together
📱IG: @babyintune
🎧 33. How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with music therapist Vered
🎧278. Music, mindfulness, and play: Using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about nurturing your child's relationship to music with musician and dad Mark Joseph
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers)) can evolve into lifelong respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Why some children seem to worry about everything, from strange noises to monsters under the bed, even when nothing dangerous is happening.
- How to tell the difference between anxiety, a highly sensitive temperament, and a nervous system that's simply taking in the world more intensely.
- Why your response to your child's fears may matter more than finding the perfect explanation or reassurance.
- The subtle ways parents can accidentally strengthen anxiety, and what to do instead.
- What behaviors like lip picking, nail biting, or constantly chewing on things may actually be communicating.
- Simple ways to help your child's nervous system feel calmer without making anxiety the center of attention.
- When it's worth seeking professional guidance, and why getting support early doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong.
If your preschooler seems to worry about everyday things, startles easily, or always seems to be on high alert, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those behaviors and give you practical, compassionate strategies to help them feel safer, more regulated, and more confident.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it's the right fit for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can support your sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most impactful parenting conversations in Securely Attached history.
Few moments are more heartbreaking than hearing your child say, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," "I hate myself," or even, "I wish I wasn't here." Our instinct is often to reassure them, convince them they're wrong, or make those painful feelings disappear as quickly as possible. But what if those words are actually your child's way of communicating something much deeper?
In this conversation, Dr. Emily Upshur joins me to explore what negative self-talk is really telling us, how to respond in the moment, and how to help children build resilience, confidence, and a healthier inner voice over time.
Together we discuss:
- What children are often trying to communicate when they use harsh or self-critical language.
- Why our first instinct to reassure or correct may not be the most helpful response.
- What to say in the moment when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," or "I hate myself."
- How to respond differently with preschoolers, school-age children, and older kids.
- Why it's important to look beneath the words to the feelings driving them.
- How to recognize when negative self-talk is becoming a repeated pattern.
- Why calm, connected debriefs are often more effective than trying to solve everything in the moment.
- Practical ways to build resilience, confidence, and a growth mindset in everyday life.
- How to model healthy self-talk and coping skills for your child.
- Why these moments, while unsettling, can become powerful opportunities for connection and emotional growth.
This conversation offers a compassionate framework for responding to some of the most difficult things a child can say. Rather than reacting from fear or rushing to make the feelings disappear, we remind you that these moments are invitations to connect, understand what your child is really experiencing, and help them develop the emotional skills they'll carry with them for years to come.
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Why children who are loving, sweet, and cooperative in many moments can still get stuck saying "no" to the smallest requests.
- What your child's resistance may actually be communicating, and why it often has very little to do with the task itself.
- A simple shift that can help break the cycle when every request seems to turn into a power struggle.
- Why giving your child more opportunities for independence can actually make them more willing to cooperate when it really matters.
- How to approach recurring battles, like tooth brushing, in a way that invites collaboration instead of more resistance.
- The one conversation to have before trying another consequence, reward, or punishment.
- Why sometimes the fastest way forward is to slow down and reset the relationship first.
If your child keeps saying "no" or seems to turn everyday routines into a battle of wills, this episode will help you understand what's really driving the behavior and give you practical strategies to build more cooperation without getting pulled into constant power struggles.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
Dr. Ross Greene and Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you understand parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach with Dr. Emily Upshur
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, I sit down with nutritional psychiatrist, professional chef, and bestselling author Dr. Uma Naidoo to explore the fascinating science behind the gut-brain connection and what it means for parents. Rather than focusing on restriction or perfection, Dr. Naidoo shares a practical, realistic approach to using food as one more tool to support your child's emotional well-being.
Together we explore:
- Why your child's gut may be influencing far more than just digestion.
- The surprising reason adding foods to your child's diet may be more powerful than taking foods away.
- What most parents misunderstand about protein, and the nutrient no one is talking about that many kids are actually missing.
- How ultra-processed foods may be affecting mood, focus, and emotional regulation in ways you wouldn't expect.
- Simple swaps that can support your child's brain without making mealtimes more stressful.
- Why "food as medicine" isn't about replacing therapy or medication, but giving your child another layer of support.
- The mindset shift that makes healthy eating feel more realistic, sustainable, and far less overwhelming.
- Easy, family-friendly strategies that can help nourish both your child's body and brain.
Whether you're raising a picky eater, wondering how nutrition fits into your child's mental health, or simply looking for realistic ways to support your family's well-being, this conversation will leave you with practical ideas you can start using right away.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Dr. Uma Naidoomd
📚 Calm Your Mind with Food: A Revolutionary Guide to Controlling Your Anxiety
📚 This Is Your Brain on Food: An Indispensable Guide to the Surprising Foods that Fight Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and More
📱 @drumanaidoo
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Looking for extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and parent coaching for moms, dads, and families who want to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and support their child's development. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services or schedule a free 30-minute consultation to find the right support for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why screens and ultra-processed foods keep kids wanting more (but never satisfied) with Michaeleen Doucleff
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about GLP-1s and parenting with Dr. Rachel Goldman
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determine if your child is a picky eater or if they may have a feeding disorder with feeding therapist Rebecca Taskin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Why toddlers often sound rude or demanding without actually intending to be.
- The developmental reason young children focus on getting their needs met rather than how their words affect others.
- When to gently teach manners in the moment and when it's better to focus on connection instead.
- How to model polite language without creating shame or turning every interaction into a correction.
- Why understanding what's underneath your child's words can help you respond with more patience and less frustration.
- How to tell the difference between a child who is simply being direct and one who is becoming overwhelmed or dysregulated.
- Simple ways to encourage respectful communication through modeling, playfulness, and everyday practice.
Whether your toddler barks orders, interrupts constantly, or seems to demand things instead of asking politely, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those moments and show you how to teach respectful communication in a way that supports your child's development while strengthening your relationship.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can help your child learn to be patient when they wants my attention immediately
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to effectively set limits, stay calm, and parent with confidence with Devon Kuntzman
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child says "I hate you"
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most downloaded and talked-about episodes in Securely Attached history.
Few parenting topics generate as much confusion, anxiety, and conflicting advice as sleep. In this conversation, neuroscientist, doula, and author of The Nurture Revolution, Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, joins me to explore what the science actually tells us about infant sleep, sleep training, bed sharing, contact sleep, and the role responsiveness plays in early brain development.
Together we discuss:
- Whether night waking is a normal and developmentally expected part of infant sleep.
- What neuroscience tells us about how babies learn to feel safe during sleep.
- What sleep training does and does not change about infant sleep.
- The different approaches to sleep training and how they compare.
- The science behind contact sleep, room sharing, and bed sharing.
- How societal expectations around sleep can contribute to parental anxiety and guilt.
- Ways to support your baby's sleep while honoring both your child's needs and your own.
- How to think about sleep decisions without shame, fear, or pressure.
- Why it is never too late to strengthen connection and secure attachment, regardless of the sleep choices you've made in the past.
This conversation offers a compassionate, science-backed perspective on one of parenting's most emotionally charged topics. Rather than telling parents what they should or should not do, Dr. Kirshenbaum empowers families with the information they need to make informed decisions that feel right for their unique child, their mental health, and their family. Most importantly, this episode reminds us that parenting is not about perfection. It is about understanding our children, responding with intention, and building connection one moment at a time.
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Why trying harder often makes tooth brushing harder, and what to focus on instead.
- The surprising reason lowering your expectations in the short term can actually lead to better long-term habits.
- How to tell whether your child is resisting because of autonomy, sensory sensitivities, or something else entirely.
- Why treating tooth brushing like learning a brand-new skill, no matter your child's age, can completely change your approach.
- Simple ways to use play, exposure, and curiosity to help your child feel more comfortable with brushing.
- Small changes to your routine that can dramatically reduce bedtime power struggles.
- Creative ideas to make tooth brushing feel less threatening and more engaging, even for children who have fought it every step of the way.
Whether your child refuses to open their mouth, insists on brushing independently, or runs away the moment the toothbrush comes out, this episode will help you move away from daily battles and toward a calmer, more connected approach that builds cooperation over time.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean up their toys without power struggles
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to set limits, support independence, and reduce meltdowns with Devon Kuntzman
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why toddler sleep is different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help your child fall asleep with Eileen Henry
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Oren Jay Sofer, mindfulness teacher, communication expert, and author of Say What You Mean, joins me to explore the principles of Nonviolent Communication, a powerful framework that helps us communicate in ways that foster connection, reduce conflict, and strengthen relationships.
Together we explore:
- Why your child's challenging behavior may be pointing to something much deeper than disobedience.
- The surprising shift that can completely change how you approach power struggles.
- Why memorizing parenting scripts often falls flat, and what to focus on instead.
- How your own unmet needs may be fueling the very conflicts you're trying to solve.
- The simple mindset change that can help you stay calmer when emotions run high.
- What children are really learning from every interaction, even when things don't go as planned.
- How to set firm boundaries without relying on shame, fear, or punishment.
- A practical communication strategy that can make it easier for children to cooperate.
Whether you're parenting a toddler, school-aged child, or teenager, this conversation offers a thoughtful framework for navigating everyday challenges with greater presence, compassion, and confidence, while strengthening the secure attachment your child depends on.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.orenjaysofer.com/
📚 Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication
📚 Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity, and Love
📚 Teaching Mindfulness to Empower Adolescents
📱 @orenjaysofer
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about kids' self-regulation, attention, and creativity, with somatic therapist Alé Duarte
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of mindfulness for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of mindfulness and how teaching these skills to our kids has worldwide impact with Dr. Dan Siegel
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Whether parents should wait to address anxiety or OCD symptoms while their child is in a PANS or PANDAS flare.
- How to tell the difference between supporting your child and unintentionally strengthening anxiety.
- Why the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approach helps parents create lasting change without requiring their child to participate in therapy.
- Why you don't have to start with the biggest or hardest challenge to see meaningful progress.
- How reducing just a few anxiety-driven routines can lead to improvements across many different areas of your child's life.
- Practical ways to help your child build confidence in handling anxiety while feeling deeply supported and understood.
- Resources for parents who want to learn more about SPACE therapy and find trained providers.
Whether your child has PANS, PANDAS, OCD, or anxiety more broadly, this episode will help you better understand your role in the treatment process and give you practical, evidence-based strategies for supporting your child with confidence, compassion, and hope.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗Demystifying PANS/PANDAS Podcast with Nancy O'Hara MD
👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about PANS/PANDAS with Dr. Nancy O'Hara
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most popular and foundational episodes in Securely Attached history.
When children are overwhelmed by big feelings, many parents wonder how to help them calm down, listen, or use the coping skills they've been taught. But before children can regulate themselves, they first need to experience regulation through relationships.
In this conversation, I sit down with early childhood specialist Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana's Kids, to explore the powerful role co-regulation plays in helping children develop emotional regulation skills, resilience, and self-awareness.
Together we discuss:
- What co-regulation is and why it is the foundation of emotional development.
- Why emotional dysregulation is often contagious for both parents and children.
- How to stay grounded when your child is overwhelmed by big feelings.
- Why the goal is not to be perfectly calm all the time.
- How children learn emotional regulation through our modeling and presence.
- Why getting comfortable with your child's discomfort can be one of the most important parenting skills.
- The difference between being a detective and being a teacher during challenging moments.
- How to respond when your child is upset about a limit you've set.
- Why a child's rejection of a boundary is not a reflection of your effectiveness as a parent.
- The role repair plays in building resilience, confidence, and connection.
This conversation offers a compassionate and practical framework for understanding children's behavior through the lens of regulation rather than compliance. Dana reminds us that emotional outbursts are not signs that we've failed as parents or that our children are failing. They are opportunities for connection, learning, and growth. Most importantly, this episode is a powerful reminder that before we can co-regulate with our children, we must first learn how to regulate ourselves.
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- The best way parents can tell their children that they are planning to separate or get divorced.
- How to approach this conversation in a way that helps children feel safe, supported, and loved.
- What parents should share, what they should avoid sharing, and why it's important to focus on what you know rather than what you don't know yet.
- The key reassurances every child needs to hear, even if they never ask the questions out loud.
- Why children of different ages may react very differently to the news and how to tailor your approach to your child's developmental stage.
- How to respond when children react with sadness, anger, blame, resistance, or seemingly no reaction at all.
- Practical ways to help children adjust to changes in the family while maintaining a sense of stability and connection.
- When it may be helpful to involve a therapist or family professional for additional support.
This episode will help you approach one of the most difficult conversations a family can face with greater confidence, compassion, and clarity while supporting your child's emotional well-being through the transition.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach with Una Archer
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids?
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Debbie Reber, founder of Tilt Parenting and author of Differently Wired, joins me for a deeply honest conversation about what it really means to raise a neurodivergent child and why supporting these children begins with changing the way we understand them, not trying to change who they are.
Together we explore:
- What it really means to be "differently wired" and why that shift in language matters.
- Why so many parents of neurodivergent children feel isolated, even as awareness continues to grow.
- The hidden emotional work of parenting children with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence.
- How understanding your child's nervous system can transform the way you respond to meltdowns and big emotions.
- Why co-regulation starts with your own self-regulation and practical ways to support both.
- How to move from trying to "fix" behavior to building connection, safety, and trust.
- Why repair matters more than getting parenting "right."
- How raising a neurodivergent child can lead parents into profound personal growth and healing of their own.
Whether you're parenting a neurodivergent child, wondering if your child might be differently wired, or simply looking for a more compassionate way to understand children's behavior, this conversation offers both practical tools and a powerful mindset shift.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Tilt Parenting
📚 Differently Wired: A Parent's Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope
📱IG: @tiltparenting FB: Tilt Parenting YouTube: Full-Tilt Parenting with Debbie Reber
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 The Tilt Parenting Report
🎧 Full-Tilt Parenting: 10 Years Later: How We've Changed, How the Movement Has Grown (And What Comes Next)
💻 Dr. Dan Siegel - Explains Mirror Neurons in Depth
🔗 Listen to Dr. Mona Delahooke on the Securely Attached podcast and read her book, Brain-Body Parenting
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether a Neuropsych Evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment in autism: How to help neurodiverse kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about ADHD and attachment security with Dr. Norrine Russell
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- How to support a child who struggles with separation anxiety, even at home.
- Why some kids follow their parents from room to room and constantly want to stay close.
- How to respond when your child says "I miss you" without accidentally reinforcing anxiety.
- Why validating your child's feelings is important, but rescuing them from distress can sometimes make separation harder over time.
- Simple ways to help children build confidence tolerating small separations through play, connection, and gradual stretching.
- How to figure out your child's "stretch point" so you can support growth without overwhelming them.
- Creative ways to use timers, playfulness, collaboration, and connection to help kids practice independence.
- How parents can reduce accommodations around anxiety while still staying warm, supportive, and emotionally attuned.
This episode will help you better understand what may be driving your child's clinginess or separation struggles and give you practical, compassionate strategies for helping them build confidence and independence over time.
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can have a smoother daycare or school drop-off
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping preschool parents prepare for drop-off, separation anxiety, and the development of social skills with Meredith Gary
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about where the line is between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Jacob Ham, licensed clinical psychologist and Director of the Center for Trauma and Resilience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, joins me for a profound conversation about trauma, attachment, presence, and the relational experiences that help us heal.
Together we explore:
- Why trauma is not defined solely by what happened to us, but by how those experiences continue to shape the way we relate to ourselves and others.
- The difference between living from a state of survival and living from a state of presence.
- How trauma can disrupt our natural capacity to move fluidly between connection, protection, openness, and autonomy.
- Why healing does not happen through insight alone, but through relationships that allow us to experience safety, reflection, and connection.
- The concept of reflective functioning and why it is one of the strongest predictors of secure attachment across generations.
- How becoming aware of our internal "chatter" can help us respond with greater compassion toward ourselves and our children.
- Why rupture and repair are a normal and necessary part of healthy relationships.
- How parents can begin breaking intergenerational cycles by cultivating curiosity, awareness, and presence.
This conversation offers a powerful reminder that secure attachment is not built through perfection. It is built through our willingness to stay present, remain open to reflection, and continually return to connection with ourselves and the people we love. Dr. Ham shares a deeply hopeful perspective on how healing happens and how even small moments of awareness can begin to transform the patterns we pass on to the next generation.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- How to prepare young children for a big move without overwhelming them.
- Why moving can feel surprisingly emotional and disorienting for kids, even when the change is positive.
- Simple ways to help children understand what's changing, what's staying the same, and what they can expect in their new home.
- Why visual supports, transitional objects, and goodbye rituals can help kids feel more grounded during major transitions.
- How to help children stay connected to important relationships after moving away from friends, teachers, and familiar places.
- Why making new friends can feel especially stressful for some kids, and how parents can help them feel more confident socially.
- Practical ways parents can create emotional continuity, safety, and connection before, during, and after a move.
This episode will help you better understand how children experience major transitions and give you thoughtful, practical ways to support your child emotionally through a move.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using design and organization to support your child's nervous system with Rachel Melvald
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping our children form strong friendship bonds with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, clinical psychologist, researcher, and author of Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad), joins me to talk about why anxiety is one of the most misunderstood emotions in parenting.
Together we explore:
- The surprising difference between anxiety that helps us grow and anxiety that gets in the way.
- Why anxiety may be helping your child (and you!) more than you realize.
- How to tell when anxiety is healthy and when it's becoming a problem.
- Why some of the most common responses to childhood anxiety can backfire.
- The surprising connection between anxiety, hope, and resilience.
- How parents can become a source of calm without dismissing or fixing their child's feelings.
- The simple shift that can help you stop seeing anxiety as the enemy.
- Dr. Dennis-Tiwary's three-step framework for responding to anxiety in yourself and your child.
This conversation offers a powerful reframe for parents who want to support their children through anxiety without reinforcing fear or avoidance. It is about learning to see anxiety not as an enemy, but as a normal part of being human, and helping our children develop the confidence to face uncertainty, navigate discomfort, and trust their ability to handle life's challenges.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗https://www.tracydennistiwary.com/
📚Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad) – A Psychologist's Paradigm Shift for Understanding and Hope
📱@dr.tracyphd
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.
🎧 The mattering gap: Why so many parents feel invisible, overwhelmed, and disconnected with Jennifer Wallace
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to find the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how parents can know when their child's anxiety may require a mental health intervention
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Why it is completely normal for young children to explore their bodies and engage in self-soothing behaviors.
- How parents can respond to self-touching in a calm, shame-free, developmentally appropriate way.
- The difference between setting healthy boundaries and unintentionally communicating shame around bodies or pleasure.
- Why some children may use self-touching as a form of sensory input, comfort, or emotional regulation, especially at bedtime.
- How to teach children about privacy and body boundaries using neutral, age-appropriate language.
- What to do when self-touching is happening in a shared bedroom or around siblings.
- Ways to help children expand their self-soothing toolbox with other calming sensory and bedtime supports.
- Why parents' own discomfort or cultural messaging around sexuality can sometimes shape how these moments feel.
- How to navigate sibling questions or reactions without making the behavior feel scary or secretive.
- The importance of helping children feel safe, accepted, and connected to their bodies while still maintaining appropriate boundaries.
This episode will help you feel more confident responding to common childhood self-soothing and body exploration behaviors with calm, clarity, and compassion.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your son always has his hands down his pants
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with how developmentally appropriate expectations, boundaries, body autonomy, and consent with sex therapist Dr. Holly Richmond
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to get your 3-year-old to do things they don't want to do
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Collaborative divorce attorney and positive psychology practitioner Andrea Vacca joins me to talk about something many families don't realize is possible: a way to move through divorce without escalating conflict or damaging long-term relationships.
For many people, divorce is synonymous with battle. It's something to survive, something to win, or something to endure at all costs. But as Andrea explains, that model often makes an already painful experience even harder for both parents and children.
In this conversation, we explore how a more intentional, team-based approach can help families navigate divorce in a way that supports emotional well-being, preserves dignity, and sets the foundation for healthier co-parenting moving forward.
Together, we discuss:
- What collaborative divorce is and how it differs from traditional litigation.
- Why you don't need strong communication skills to start this process, just a willingness to try.
- How a team-based approach (including mental health and financial professionals) supports the whole family.
- The biggest myths about collaborative divorce, especially for high-conflict couples.
- How positive psychology can help shift your mindset from survival to growth during divorce.
- The concept of a "good enough" agreement and how it can reduce unnecessary conflict.
- How emotional regulation impacts decision-making during divorce.
- What it actually looks like to create a thoughtful, durable co-parenting plan.
- How to revisit and improve parenting plans, even after a divorce is finalized.
- How parents can protect their child's sense of stability during a major family transition.
This conversation is about more than divorce. It's about how we navigate major life transitions, how we stay grounded in our values under stress, and how we make decisions that support not just short-term relief, but long-term well-being for ourselves and our children.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Vacca Family Law Firm
🎧 A Better Divorce Podcast
📱@vaccafamilylawgroup
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 https://drsarahbren.com/
📱 @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.
https://www.collaborativepractice.com/
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about divorcing with less conflict with Katherine Miller
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children Michelle Dempsey-Multack
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the legal considerations parents need to know with matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating high-conflict divorce while prioritizing your own needs and attachment relationships with Karen McMahon
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce is better for your kids
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- How to support a sensitive, gentle child in becoming more confident using his voice with peers.
- The difference between helping your child build self-advocacy skills and trying to change their temperament.
- How to teach kids simple, effective boundary-setting tools that actually work in fast-paced peer interactions.
- Why "old soul" kids may naturally learn polite, sophisticated communication, but still need help practicing more direct forms of assertiveness.
- Playful ways to practice boundary-setting and self-advocacy skills at home through games and role play.
- How to know when to step in as a parent and when to allow kids space to navigate social challenges on their own.
- Why it's important to match a child's communication tools to the intensity and energy of the situation they're in.
- The importance of checking whether a child is actually distressed before assuming a social interaction is a major problem.
This episode will help you feel more confident supporting your child's self-advocacy skills while still honoring their unique temperament, sensitivity, and personality.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can encourage your shy child without making them feel like being shy is bad?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can parent your child to not be a people pleaser
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this deep dive episode, I explore how secure attachment evolves across development and what children are really needing from us emotionally at each stage of childhood and adolescence. Using Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development as a framework, we look at the core emotional tasks kids are navigating from infancy through young adulthood, and how our role as parents shifts alongside them.
Together, we explore:
- What secure attachment looks like at different developmental stages.
- How to stay connected to your child as their needs evolve over time.
- Why toddlers push for independence and what they need from us in those moments.
- How play, boredom, and curiosity support emotional development in early childhood
- Why school-age kids become more focused on achievement, perfectionism, and peer comparison.
- How social media can intensify insecurity during key developmental windows.
- Why adolescence can suddenly feel so emotionally intense and unpredictable.
- How to stay a secure base for your teen without escalating power struggles.
- What today's loneliness epidemic can teach us about raising emotionally connected kids.
- Why repair matters more than perfection in secure relationships.
- How understanding your child's developmental task can completely shift the way you respond to behavior.
This episode is ultimately about learning to zoom out. Not to parent each stage perfectly, but to better understand what your child is actually working through underneath the behaviors, emotions, and developmental shifts that can sometimes leave us feeling confused or disconnected. Because when we understand the developmental needs driving our child's behavior, we can respond with more clarity, compassion, and connection.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 02. Attachment Theory and Fostering Secure Attachment Relationships
🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 103. Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 76. Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think: A conversation with attachment researcher Dr. Or Dagan
🎧 139. BTS: Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Whether co-sleeping is actually a problem, or simply a parenting choice that works for some families.
- How to tell the difference between connection-based co-sleeping and anxiety-driven sleep struggles.
- Why independent sleep is a skill that develops over time through practice, not pressure.
- How to support your child's growing independence without making them feel rejected.
- What it can look like when children naturally begin transitioning out of their parents' bed on their own.
- How to approach sleep transitions gently if co-sleeping stops working for your family.
- Why there is no one "right" way to handle sleep arrangements, and how to focus on what works best for your child, your relationship, and your family as a whole.
- The importance of safe co-sleeping practices and understanding how to co-sleep safely with young children.
This episode will help you feel more confident navigating co-sleeping, independent sleep, and nighttime connection in a way that feels aligned with your family's needs, values, and stage of life.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Stay up to date on the latest podcast episode, tips and tricks, and parenting resources by joining my newsletter. Go to drsarahbren.com, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click "Join my community" to get weekly emails from me.
🎧 Tune into the original question that this episode is a follow up to: Is letting my anxious child sleep in my bed helping or making their anxiety worse?
🔗American Academy of Pediatrics: Safe Sleep
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with practical solutions for getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Why toddler sleep is different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep with Eileen Henry
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Jennifer Wallace joins the podcast to explore a powerful but often overlooked foundation of mental health and resilience: the human need to feel like we matter. While so much of parenting focuses on what we do for our kids, this conversation invites us to look inward, because a child's sense of mattering is deeply shaped by how much their parents feel valued, seen, and significant in their own lives.
Drawing from research and real-life stories, we unpack why so many adults today feel invisible, overwhelmed, or defined by achievement, and how that shapes the way we show up in our relationships with our children.
Together we explore:
- What it actually means to "matter" and why it's different from self-esteem or a sense of purpose.
- Why parents today are at risk of feeling like they don't matter, and how that impacts their kids.
- The connection between mattering, anxiety, burnout, and loneliness.
- A simple framework for building deeper, more meaningful relationships.
- Why "delight" is a critical ingredient in helping children feel secure and valued.
- How to model a healthy sense of self so your child doesn't feel pressure to be your "everything."
- Practical ways to help kids both feel valued and add value in their families and communities.
- How showing others they matter can actually be the fastest way to feel like you matter too.
This conversation is a reminder that parenting doesn't happen in a vacuum. When we feel grounded in our own worth, supported by meaningful relationships and a sense of connection, we create the conditions for our children to internalize that same belief: you matter, just as you are.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Jennifer Wallace
📚Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose
📱IG: @jenniferbrehenywallace
🎧 Listen to Jennie's first Securely Attached podcast about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Feeling weighed down by mom-guilt, identity shifts, or the mental load of parenting? Upshur Bren Psychology Group specializes in maternal mental health and offers therapy and coaching to help you feel more grounded and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental burnout: What it is, why it happens, and how to overcome it
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Why it's important to tell your child that they are starting therapy (and why many parents avoid it).
- How to explain therapy in simple, developmentally appropriate language your child will actually understand.
- Why using your child's own words for their struggles, like "worry" or "big feelings," matters.
- What to call a therapist and how to describe what they do in a way that makes sense to kids.
- What to do if your child asks, "Is something wrong with me?"
- Why getting your child's buy-in matters and how to help them feel invested.
- How to frame therapy as something the whole family is working on together.
This episode will help you feel more confident in how to approach this conversation, reduce anxiety around starting therapy, and support your child in a way that builds trust, openness, and emotional resilience.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Want to learn more about talking to your child about going to therapy? Read Upshur Bren Psychology Group's blog article: How to Tell Your Child You're Taking Them to Therapy: A Compassionate, Practical Guide for Parents
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if your child is too young for therapy
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if group therapy would be a good fit for your child
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Jay Belsky joins the podcast to explore one of the most important and often misunderstood truths in parenting: the same environment does not affect every child the same way. Drawing from decades of research on nature and nurture, this conversation looks at how biology and experience work together to shape development, and why some kids are more sensitive to their environments while others are more resilient.
Together, we explore:
- Why some children are more affected by parenting, stress, and environment than others.
- The difference between sensitivity and susceptibility, and why it matters for long-term development.
- What "developmental plasticity" is and how it shapes the way kids respond to their experiences.
- Why resilience is not always a good thing and sensitivity is not always a problem.
- How nature and nurture work together to shape each child in unique ways.
- The one thing within a parent's control that can help protect children from adversity.
- How to shift from trying to control outcomes to supporting the child you have.
- The difference between "carpenter" parenting and "gardener" parenting, and why it changes everything.
- How to set realistic expectations for yourself and your child without lowering the bar.
This conversation offers a powerful reframe for parents who feel confused, overwhelmed, or frustrated when what works for one child doesn't work for another. It is about understanding your child as an individual, letting go of the pressure to get it exactly right, and focusing on what truly supports healthy development over time.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Dr. Jay Belsky
📚The Nature of Nurture: Rethinking Why and How Childhood Adversity Shapes Development
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
📚The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children by Alison Gopnik
📚 The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do by Judith Rich Harris
👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about orchid and dandelion children with Dr. W. Thomas Boyce
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support your sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- What the research actually says about attachment and why one strong, secure relationship is enough for healthy development.
- Why your child asking for the other parent may actually be a sign of a secure attachment, not a problem.
- How toddler development (around age 2) shapes their awareness of family structure and separation.
- How to talk about an absent parent in a way that is simple, neutral, and developmentally appropriate.
- The importance of naming and validating your child's feelings, like sadness, curiosity, or confusion.
- How your own emotional responses can influence how often your child brings this topic up.
- Why these questions often show up at bedtime and how to respond while still holding bedtime boundaries.
This episode will help you feel more grounded and reassured in your role as a parent, and more confident in how to support your child through big feelings, hard questions, and family differences in a way that strengthens your connection.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support children experiencing abandonment or separation from a parent
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Rachel Melvald joins the podcast to explore a powerful but often overlooked influence on our children's behavior, mood, and regulation: the spaces they live in. Drawing from her work in Neurodesign, this conversation looks at how our home environment shapes the nervous system and impacts how both kids and parents feel and function.
Together, we explore:
- How clutter and visual overwhelm increase cognitive load and dysregulation in kids (and adults).
- Why fewer toys can actually support more focused, creative, and independent play.
- How predictable, organized spaces help children feel safer and more regulated.
- The role of sensory input, like lighting, color, texture, and movement, in shaping behavior and mood.
- Why natural elements are so powerful for calming the nervous system.
- How to think about different spaces in your home and the function you want them to serve.
- Simple, practical changes that can have an immediate impact on how your home feels.
- How design can support not just individual regulation, but connection, boundaries, and family relationships.
This conversation offers a new lens on parenting, one that goes beyond behavior strategies and focuses on the environment itself. It's about creating spaces that support regulation, connection, and well-being for the whole family.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗https://www.psychitecture.com/
📚NEURODESIGN: The Art and Science of Harmonious Living
📱@rachelmelvald
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗Pikler Triangle
🔗 Toddler Trampoline
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance in the home, at work, and in parenthood with Chelsi Jo
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean up their toys without power struggles?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about buying less and living sustainably with The New York Stylist, Liz Teich
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- What to do when your toddler refuses the potty and fights diaper changes, leaving you stuck in a frustrating in-between stage.
- Why diaper changes and potty training resistance is often less about the potty and more about control and autonomy.
- Common ways power struggles often show up during diaper changes and potty training.
- Simple and practical strategies to give your child more agency without losing necessary boundaries to reduce tension and make diaper changes feel less like a battle.
- Creative strategies to build positive associations with the bathroom.
- What it looks like to go slower with potty training, and why that can be more effective.
This episode will help you approach diaper changes and potty training with less pressure, more clarity, and practical strategies to reduce the daily struggles while supporting your child's growing independence.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a deep dive into potty training
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how pediatric pelvic health can impact potty training, bed wetting and constipation with Quiara Smith
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your toddler is otherwise potty trained, but still won't poop on the potty
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle potty regressions in older children
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Catherine Price returns to the podcast to talk about one of the biggest challenges facing parents today: how to help kids build a healthier relationship with screens. Drawing from her new book, The Amazing Generation (co-authored with Jonathan Haidt), this conversation explores how to move from power struggles and fear-based messaging to approaches that build insight, agency, and real buy-in from kids themselves.
Together, we explore:
- Why simply telling kids to "get off screens" often backfires.
- What kids are actually getting from screens (and what they're missing).
- How to explain to kids that tech companies are designed to capture attention in a way that makes them feel empowered.
- Why "real world" experiences are critical for development and how screens can crowd them out.
- Practical ways to support connection and independence without defaulting to smartphones.
- How to have conversations about screens that don't lead to shutdown or conflict.
- Simple shifts that can help your child become more aware, reflective, and intentional with technology.
- Why building a full, engaging life offline naturally reduces screen time.
This conversation is about more than just screen time. It's about helping kids develop the awareness, confidence, and agency to make choices that align with the kind of life they actually want to live, and how we, as parents, can support that process.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Catherine Price
📚 The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World
🔗 Free Guide: The Family Guide to Screen/Life Balance: Your 7-Day Plan for Fewer Fights and More Fun
📚 How to Break Up with Your Phone, Revised Edition: The 30-Day Digital Detox Plan
📚 The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again
📱 IG: @catherinepriceofficial
🎧 242. Have phones displaced our ability to play and have fun? How to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Upshur Bren Psychology Group
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Whether it's screen time battles, feeling stuck in constant pushback, or trying to help your child make healthier choices without power struggles, these patterns can be hard to shift on your own. Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and parent coaching to help you build insight, strengthen connection, and create meaningful, lasting change. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services or schedule a free 30-minute consultation to find the right support for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why screens and ultra-processed foods keep kids wanting more (but never satisfied) with Michaeleen Doucleff
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why kids remember more when they write by hand with Dr. Audrey van der Meer
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of EdTech with Andy Liddell
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about how to support a child who is struggling to communicate with their peers.
Together we explore:
- The difference between scaffolding and helicopter parenting, and how to find the right balance.
- How your goals for a playdate can shape how much you step in.
- The role of context, including the child your kid is playing with and how familiar they are with each other.
- What scaffolding can actually look like in the moment, beyond just helping with words.
- How narrating and "sportscasting" interactions can support both kids without taking over.
- How to tune into your child's cues to determine whether something is truly a problem.
- The trap of overthinking and how to recognize when things might actually be going just fine.
This episode will help you feel more confident in knowing when to step in, when to step back, and how to support your child's social and communication skills in a way that builds both competence and connection.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping a child who struggles with perfectionism
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is reading below their grade level, but resistant to going to tutoring
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachments in peer relationships
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Nurse and founder of My Lice Advice, Theresa, joins me to talk about one of the most common (and surprisingly emotional) parenting challenges: lice. While lice is something most families will encounter at some point, it often brings a wave of panic, shame, and overwhelm. But as Theresa explains, it doesn't have to.
Together, we explore:
- Why lice has become so stigmatized and what's actually driving the shame parents feel.
- The biggest myths about lice (including cleanliness and how it spreads).
- What lice actually is and how it's passed from child to child.
- How to talk to your child about lice in a way that is calm, clear, and shame-free.
- What you do not need to clean (and how to avoid unnecessary overwhelm).
- The most effective ways to treat lice based on current research.
- What to look for to know a treatment has actually worked.
- Simple prevention strategies that can reduce the likelihood of future cases.
- How to stay regulated and approach lice as something manageable, not catastrophic.
This conversation is about more than just lice. It's about how we respond to the unexpected moments in parenting, how we manage our own anxiety, and how we model calm, capable problem-solving for our kids.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 My Lice Advice
💻 My Life Advice on YouTube
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Nit Free Terminator Lice Comb
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to ease your child's anxiety for doctors visits with pediatrician Dr. Rachel Geronemus
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social anxiety in parenthood with Justine Carino
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about what to do when your child goes from calm to meltdown in what feels like seconds, especially during everyday moments like turning off the TV, leaving the park, or cleaning up.
Together we explore:
- Why going from "0 to 60" is actually more common than you think, especially for sensitive kids.
- How setting and holding limits can still be the right thing to do, even when it leads to a meltdown.
- The mindset shift that can help you feel less frustrated when big reactions happen.
- The role of transitions and why they can feel so much harder for kids than they do for adults.
- Practical ways to anticipate and soften tough moments before they escalate.
- How things like hunger, fatigue, and overwhelm can make reactions bigger and faster.
- Simple strategies like giving warnings, breaking tasks into smaller steps, and joining your child in the process.
- Why slowing down and pausing can sometimes be more effective than escalating your response.
This episode will help you better understand why your child's reactions can feel so sudden and intense, and how to respond in a way that keeps you grounded, holds your boundaries, and supports your child through those big feelings.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again
👉Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visitdrsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Katherine Miller, author of The Emotionally Savvy Divorce and collaborative law professional, joins me to talk about what it actually means to navigate divorce in a way that reduces conflict, supports your well-being, and protects your children.
Together, we explore:
- The difference between reacting and responding, and how this shift can change the outcome of conflict.
- Why most divorce conflict is not actually about what you're fighting about, but what's underneath it.
- The concept of the "conflict trap" and why the same arguments repeat over and over.
- Simple strategies to pause in heated moments.
- How to communicate more effectively with a co-parent, even when they are not being collaborative.
- What collaborative divorce is and how it helps families reduce conflict and make more thoughtful decisions.
- Why "winning" in divorce often backfires, especially when children are involved.
- How to shift the dynamic with a high-conflict partner without escalating the situation.
This conversation is not just about divorce. It's about learning how to use your emotions as information, stay grounded under pressure, and respond in ways that align with your long-term goals.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Miller Law Group
📚 The Emotionally Savvy Divorce: Smart Negotiations for a Clean Break
📱 IG: @millerlaw_ny FB: Miller Law Group NY
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 https://drsarahbren.com/
📱 IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.
🔗 International Academy of Collaborative Professionals
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children Michelle Dempsey-Multack
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the legal considerations parents need to know with matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating high-conflict divorce while prioritizing your own needs and attachment relationships with Karen McMahon
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce is better for your kids
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Why many parents worry that using the word "autism" might make their child feel different or labeled, and how to think about that fear.
- What research and clinical experience suggest about telling your child sooner rather than later.
- How giving a diagnosis a name can actually feel empowering and help your child make sense of their experiences.
- What it looks like to take a neuroaffirming, strengths-based approach when talking about autism.
- How to explain autism to a young child in developmentally appropriate, non-pathologizing language.Why this doesn't have to be one big, serious conversation and how to follow your child's lead over time.
- The value of being the one who defines what autism means for your child, before the world does.
- Simple ways to normalize and support your child through representation, stories, and everyday conversations.
This episode will help you understand how to talk about neurodiversity in a way that feels simple, affirming, and age-appropriate, so your child can better understand their brain, their strengths, and the ways they experience the world.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported, and every parent deserves a place to turn. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a full continuum of autism services: diagnostic testing, individual therapy, and parent support groups for families raising children and young adults on the spectrum. Visit upshurbren.com or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about support options for you and your child.
📚 Different Thinkers: Autism by Katia Fredriksen PhD and Yael Rothman PhD
📚 Wonderfully Wired Brains: An Introduction to the World of Neurodiversity
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help autistic kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether a neuropsych Evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
I'm joined by doula, childbirth educator, and founder of Baby To Go, Sarah Ludwig, to talk about what it actually means to prepare for birth and why so many parents feel overwhelmed, anxious, or like they have to "get it right."
Together, we explore:
- What a doula actually does and how they support families during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum.
- Why pregnancy can increase anxiety, and how to work with it instead of against it.
- The difference between what you can control and what you can't during birth.
- How to think about birth plans as flexible "preferences" rather than fixed outcomes.
- Why trying to control every detail can sometimes make anxiety worse.
- How to build confidence in your ability to cope, even when things don't go as planned.
- The role of postpartum planning and why it's often overlooked.
- How to recognize when anxiety is within a normal range and when it might need more support.
Instead of focusing on creating the perfect plan, this conversation is about building your ability to cope with uncertainty and feel more confident in the process.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗https://www.baby-to-go.com/
🔗Hudson Valley Birth Network
📱IG: @baby_to_go FB: Baby To Go
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 https://drsarahbren.com/
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Click HERE to sign up for my FREE workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!
👉 Click HERE to download my free interactive workbook, My Mental Health Postpartum Checklist, that will help you create a personalized mental health support system for yourself allowing you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to create a plan with your OB/GYN that supports resilience and reduces anxiety during and after pregnancy with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing birth trauma with Dr. Sterling
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to read your child's cues, build routines, and trust your instincts with pediatrician Dr. Golly
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Why the expectation that toddlers should already know how to regulate themselves is a common parenting myth.
- What's actually happening in a child's brain and body when their emotional "gas tank" is empty.
- Why your child's big reaction to a limit doesn't mean you've done something wrong.
- The difference between holding a boundary and trying to solve your child's feelings.
- What to do when your child's behavior is physically aggressive, like hitting or hair pulling.
- Why your own triggers matter and how understanding them can help you respond differently.
- The foundational factors (like sleep, fresh air, movement, and connection) that often drive behavior more than discipline strategies.
If you've ever felt powerless, guilty, or overwhelmed in the face of your child's big emotions, this episode will help you zoom out, reset unrealistic expectations, and approach these moments with more clarity and compassion—for both your child and yourself.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child is hitting
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall asleep, with Eileen Henry
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy are everywhere right now. But behind the headlines and social media debates are real people navigating complicated questions about body image, health, and how to talk about these changes with their families.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Rachel Goldman joins me to unpack the psychology behind GLP-1 medications, the concept of "food noise," and how parents can thoughtfully talk to their children about changes in their own bodies.
Together we explore:
- Why obesity is now understood as a chronic, multifactorial disease rather than a simple issue of willpower.
- What "food noise" is and why GLP-1 medications can dramatically quiet the constant mental chatter around food.
- The biggest misconceptions about GLP-1 medications and why they're not simply "weight loss drugs."
- Why significant body changes can bring up complicated identity and emotional shifts.
- How parents can talk to kids about weight loss or body changes without reinforcing shame or diet culture.
- The difference between body positivity and body neutrality and why neutrality may be more realistic and helpful for many families.
- Small language shifts that help children focus on what their bodies do, rather than how they look.
- Why it's never too late for parents to shift the way they talk about bodies and health.
This conversation will help you understand the science and psychology behind GLP-1 medications and give you practical tools and language to navigate your own health journey and talk about it with your kids in thoughtful, supportive ways.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Dr. Rachel
📚 When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@drrachelnyc
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and parenting coaching to help you feel more grounded and confident as you support your child's emotional development and navigate challenges like body image, big emotions, anxiety, and family dynamics. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about youth sports and body image with Zoë Bisbing
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- What a time-in actually is and how it's different from a time-out.
- How to tell if your child's behavior is coming from dysregulation, a skill gap, or deliberate behavior.
- How to know which discipline tools will work best in each unique situation.
- The difference between co-regulating during a meltdown and teaching a behavioral boundary (and how to know when to use each).
- How to use time-outs as a teaching tool, not a punishment.
- How developmental stages affect behaviors like hitting, tantrums, and defiance—and what realistic expectations to set.
- Why trying to find the "perfect parenting script" often makes discipline harder.
- The one question to ask yourself that will help you decide what to do in the moment.
If you've ever found yourself wondering whether you should comfort your child, correct the behavior, or step away entirely, this episode will help you zoom out, understand what's really going on underneath the behavior, and respond more intentionally.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 Longitudinal Relationship Between Time-Out and Child Emotional and Behavioral Functioning
👉 Feeling confused about discipline strategies like time-ins, time-outs, and consequences? Visit drsarahbren.com/timeout to download my ✨FREE✨ Discipline Guide to learn when and how to use these tools in a way that actually supports your child's development while reducing power struggles at home. This guide breaks down how to respond to common behaviors like tantrums, hitting, and defiance so you can feel more confident in the moment.
📚The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again by Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, PhD
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using your child's brain, body and nervous system to guide your parenting Dr. Mona Delahooke
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and mental health with Sarah R. Moore
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.
Tune in to hear:
- What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life's ups and downs.
- The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.
- Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.
- How attachment affects a child's development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.
This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?
Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:
https://drsarahbren.com/
FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan
🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Whether it's developmentally realistic to expect a baby and a toddler to "work together" during play.
- If separating siblings in certain moments is helpful parenting… or something we're supposed to avoid.
- The concept of "territory" in child development and why young children often need spaces and projects that feel protected.
- Why pushing young children to share too early can sometimes make cooperation harder later on.
- How helping a toddler trust that their creations and belongings will be respected can actually reduce sibling rivalry over time.
- The difference between communal family spaces and personal spaces for kids' toys and projects.
- Simple ways to set boundaries that support both children's needs without turning every moment into a negotiation.
- Where kids actually learn to get along with siblings — so you can focus on the moments that matter and release some of the pressure around the rest.
If you're parenting siblings close in age and feel like you're constantly refereeing fights over toys, this episode will help you better understand what's developmentally normal and give you practical ways to support both children without feeling like you have to force sharing or cooperation before they're ready.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about encouraging sibling empathy without making them responsible for each other's feelings
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to get your toddler to share
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about soothing your baby and encouraging a closed sibling bond with Dr. Golly
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Audrey van der Meer, developmental neuroscientist and Professor of Neuropsychology at NTNU, joins me to talk about what's happening inside our children's brains when they write by hand versus type on a keyboard and what the shift toward fully digital classrooms may be costing their learning, memory, and focus.
Together we explore:
- What gross motor development is and why its sequential nature is so essential for a child's development.
- The research that illustrated that handwriting activates larger neural networks linked to memory, attention, and deeper learning compared to typing.
- Why taking notes by hand improves memory retention and comprehension.
- The "use it or lose it" principle of brain development and what that means for cognitive growth.
- What studies reveal about reading on paper versus reading on screens.
- How screens can be beneficial too, so you can make informed, intentional decisions about when to incorporate technology and when to set limits.
- Practical, realistic ways parents can strengthen brain development at home without banning screens or rejecting technology altogether.
This conversation isn't about rejecting technology or going back to the Stone Age. It's about being intentional. And when we understand how the brain evolved to learn, we can make small shifts that serve to strengthen our children's development.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Dr. Audrey van der Meer
🔗NuLab
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@audreyvandermeer
📱@drsarahbren
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of EdTech with Andy Liddell
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to keep your child safe in a world of AI, algorithms, and social media with Imran Ahmed
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with the "whole-brain" with Dr. Dan Siegel
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Why cleanup time can be surprisingly hard for young children.
- What's really happening in your toddler's brain and body when they are resisting transitions.
- Is repeating yourself over and over again a normal part of parenting young kids? And how do you know when it's part of the learning process versus something that needs a different approach?
- How motor planning, executive functioning, and task initiation can make something like "clean up your toys" feel overwhelming to a child.
- Why you might still be doing 90% of the cleanup work at this age (and why that can actually be part of the learning process.)
- Practical strategies to make cleanup easier, including breaking tasks into smaller steps, planning ahead for transitions, and using cues like songs and routines.
- How to shift your expectations so you can stay calm and connected instead of getting pulled into power struggles.
If you find yourself repeating the same requests over and over while trying to stay patient and regulated, this episode will help you understand what's developmentally normal for young children and give you practical tools to make cleanup time and transitions feel more manageable for both you and your child.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry
🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?
🎧231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Jett Stone, clinical psychologist and author of Quiet Your Mind: A Men's Guide, joins me to talk about paternal mental health and the invisible emotional load modern fathers are carrying, many without language, models, or permission to talk about it.
Together we explore:
- Why millennial dads often feel like they're parenting without a blueprint.
- How intergenerational patterns and "boyhood rules" shape the way men show up as fathers.
- Why so many dads feel like the "secondary parent" and how mothers can invite fathers in without diminishing their own needs or experiencing resentment.
- The tension between wanting authority and wanting connection with your child (and how to hold both).
- Why secure attachment with dads doesn't have to look exactly like secure attachment with moms.
- How doing your own reflective work as a parent can transform the entire family system.
This conversation will help you understand the emotional lives of fathers with more compassion and clarity. Because when dads feel supported, included, and emotionally resourced, the whole family benefits.
Whether you're a parent, a partner, or a therapist working with families, this episode will expand the way you think about modern fatherhood.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Dr. Jett Stone
📚Quiet Your Mind: A Men's Guide: Practical Techniques to Stop Overthinking and Take Charge of Your Life
💻 Psychology Today
🎧 No Man's an Island podcast
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@drjettstone
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Looking for extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and parent coaching for moms, dads, and families who want to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and support their child's development. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services or schedule a free 30-minute consultation to find the right support for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what it means to be a father with Kendall Smith
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about becoming a team with your partner-in-parenting with Lauren A. Tetenbaum
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering a secure attachment relationship
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- Whether letting your anxious child sleep in your bed reinforces anxiety or supports emotional security.
- The difference between attachment needs and anxiety accommodations.
- Why distress tolerance and secure attachment are not competing goals.
- How SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approaches sleep struggles.
- What it actually means to "stop an accommodation" — and why sleep isn't always the first place to start.
- How to know if your child can't sleep alone or simply prefers not to.
- Why bedtime feels so loaded for parents and how to zoom out and look at the bigger picture.
- The research on attachment (including why you don't have to get it right 100% of the time).
- How to reduce anxiety without damaging your relationship with your child.
If your child struggles with separation anxiety at night, frequently climbs into your bed, or says he's too scared to sleep alone, this episode will help you step back from the all-or-nothing messaging and make a thoughtful, individualized decision that fits your family.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
😴 Struggling with toddler bedtime battles? Download my ✨FREE✨ Toddler Sleep Guide with 7 concrete strategies backed by peer-reviewed research and anecdotally tested in my own practice, that you can implement with your children today to turn your bedtime struggles into solutions.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with practical solutions for getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you understand the basics of attachment theory and fostering your child's secure attachment bond
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about toddler sleep strategies
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Michaeleen Doucleff, science journalist and author of Dopamine Kids, joins me to talk about what's really happening in our children's brains when it comes to screens, social media, and ultra-processed foods and why so many kids (and adults) feel stuck in cycles of constant wanting without real satisfaction.
Together we explore:
- What dopamine actually does in the brain and why it's not simply the "pleasure chemical."
- How screens and ultra-processed foods are engineered to tap into our children's seeking systems.
- Why today's kids may be experiencing more craving and less true gratification.
- Why simply taking screens away often backfires and what to replace them with instead.
- How small, sustainable environmental shifts (not massive overhauls) can recalibrate your child's motivation system.
- Practical ways to reduce screen use in the evenings, during transitions, and "on the go."
- How involving your child in the process can increase autonomy, buy-in, and long-term success.
This conversation isn't about fear, shame, or unrealistic detoxes. It's about understanding the science of motivation so we can make thoughtful changes that bring more color, pleasure, and peace back into our homes.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Michaeleen Doucleff
📚Dopamine Kids: A Science-Based Plan to Rewire Your Child's Brain and Take Back Your Family in the Age of Screens and Ultraprocessed Foods
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY ME:
🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Dr. Kent Berridge
🔗 Dr. Wolfram Schultz
📚 Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg, PhD
📄 From Tobacco to Ultraprocessed Food: How Industry Engineering Fuels the Epidemic of Preventable Disease
🔗 Read Montague, Ph.D.
📄 Sign‐tracking modulates reward‐related neural activation to reward cues, but not reward feedback
🔗 Brick
👉 Whether it's screens, power struggles, reactivity, or habits that are hard to shift, it can be incredibly difficult to see and change these cycles on your own. Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and parent coaching to help you create meaningful, lasting change. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services or schedule a free 30-minute consultation to find the right support for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating tantrums, big feelings, screen time and more with Dr. Laura Markham
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about reclaiming your focus and navigating distractions and screen time to become more present with Nir Eyal
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about stress, screens, shifting hormones, and early puberty with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- What "kindergarten readiness" actually means (and what it doesn't).
- Dr. Upshur and Dr. Bren share their personal experiences - with one choosing to send her child to kindergarten and the other deciding to hold her son back - and why.
- The pros and cons of redshirting, and whether being one of the youngest in the class really leads to long-term struggles.
- Why social-emotional readiness may matter less than you think.
- How family logistics, finances, community norms, local school culture, and sibling dynamics can influence your decision.
- What research says about long-term academic and life outcomes.
- How to take the pressure off yourself so you can make a thoughtful, "good enough" choice.
If you're going back and forth about whether to send your child to kindergarten or wait another year, wondering if they're too sensitive or overwhelmed to start, or worried about making the "wrong" decision, this episode will help you zoom out, gather the right information, and move forward with more clarity and confidence.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child success in preschool with Meredith Gary
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler learn to share
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Devon Kuntzman, toddler expert and author of Transforming Toddlerhood, joins me to explain why the toddler years feel so intense and how understanding development can change everything.
Together we explore:
- How toddlerhood is defined by contradictory needs for independence and attachment and why this creates so much emotional volatility.
- How rapid cognitive, motor, and language development can leave toddlers feeling disoriented and overwhelmed.
- How to slow down power struggles using developmentally informed tools like asking "What's your plan?" and turning "no" into "not yet."
- Why helping toddlers organize their thinking supports regulation, impulse control, and cooperation.
- How parents can stay flexible, grounded, and confident while navigating a stage that naturally pushes everyone's limits.
- How to grab your free spot in Devon's 9th Annual Transforming Toddlerhood Conference being held live virtually from March 11th-15th.
This episode is designed to help parents make sense of toddler behavior through a developmental lens, reduce self-blame, and walk away with practical strategies for setting limits while still supporting independence, emotional growth, and secure attachment.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Transforming Toddlerhood
🔗 Reserve your FREE spot in the Transforming Toddlerhood Conference
🎧Listen to Devon's first Securely Attached podcast episode about how to effectively set limits, stay calm, and parent with confidence in toddlerhood
📚 Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@transformingtoddlerhood
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry
🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?
🎧231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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Whether it's okay to have different rules for different kids under the same roof in a blended family.
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How developmental differences and co-parenting agreements can shape household expectations.
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What to do when step-siblings notice (and protest) differences in discipline.
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How to align parenting styles in a blended family without creating resentment.
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Why transparency and age-appropriate conversations can actually strengthen family trust.
-
How to approach your spouse when you feel protective, defensive, or out of sync.
If you're navigating parenting post-divorce in a blended family with different parenting plans and complex co-parenting relationships, struggling with fairness between step-siblings, or feeling unsure how to handle different rules in the same house, this episode offers clarity, nuance, and practical next steps.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the best way to approach introducing your kids to your new significant other after a divorce
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering a mom who wondered if there was something she can do to strengthen her child's relationship with her ex
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting on the same page with your partner in parenthood
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Imran Ahmed, founder and CEO of the Center for Countering Digital Hate, joins me to talk about how social media platforms, algorithms, and AI systems are designed and what that means for our children's mental health and safety.
Together we explore:
- How social media algorithms are built to maximize attention, and why emotionally extreme content is often amplified.
- What research reveals about how quickly self-harm and eating disorder content can be served to young users.
- How AI platforms can respond dangerously to vulnerable teens when guardrails are not properly in place.
- Why this is not just a "screen time" issue, but a systemic design and accountability issue.
- The difference between pulling the "emergency brake" and creating meaningful long-term change.
- What parents can realistically do at home to build digital resilience, foster trust, and partner with their children in navigating online spaces.
This episode isn't meant to create more fear, but to offer greater clarity. My hope is that parents walk away feeling informed, empowered, and better equipped to both advocate for safer systems and strengthen the relationship that ultimately protects kids most: the one they have with you.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Center for Countering Digital Hate
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱IG: @counterhate FB: Center for Countering Digital Hate Youtube: @CCDHate
📱IG: @drsarahbren Youtube: Securely Attached
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
💻 Protecting Kids Online - Download the guide for parents
🔗 Deadly by Design: TikTok pushes harmful content promoting eating disorders and self-harm into young users' feeds
🔗 Fake Friend: How ChatGPT betrays vulnerable teens by encouraging dangerous behavior
🔗 Resist and unsubscribe - Scott Galloway
👉 Parenting in the age of AI, algorithms, and constant connectivity can feel like a lot. If you're feeling unsure, reactive, or overwhelmed, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and parent coaching to help you feel grounded, clear, and confident as you support your child and manage your own stress. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation or go to upshurbren.com to learn more and find the right support for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment vs. social media with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the do's and don'ts for introducing screens to your toddler
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of EdTech with Andy Liddell
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise?
- Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this.
- What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group.
- How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly.
- "There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'"
- Understanding "social currency" and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social media's impact on your child's attachment security with Dr. Miriam Steele
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Nancy O'Hara, pediatrician and leading expert in PANS and PANDAS, joins me to unpack why some children experience sudden, dramatic changes in behavior, anxiety, OCD, tics, sleep, or emotional regulation following illness. For many families, these symptoms appear almost overnight and are often misdiagnosed as "just anxiety," behavioral issues, or psychiatric disorders, leaving parents confused, dismissed, and unsure how to help their child.
Together we explore:
- What PANS and PANDAS are, and how infections like strep, viruses, or tick-borne illness can trigger sudden neuropsychiatric symptoms in children.
- What to assess to help you determine if your child has a generalized anxiety disorder or if it may be PANS/PANDAS that is the root cause of their symptoms.
- Why PANS/PANDAS is often missed or misunderstood in both medical and mental health settings.
- The three-pronged approach to treatment: Addressing the trigger, the immune system, and the child's emotional and behavioral symptoms.
- How therapy, both for parents and children, can support recovery, even when symptoms have a medical origin.
- Understanding that there is real hope for healing and that it's never too late to identify and address PANS or PANDAS.
This episode is designed to help parents and clinicians feel more informed, less alone, and more confident in recognizing when a child's behavior may be signaling something deeper. PANS and PANDAS are real, treatable conditions that deserve compassionate, comprehensive care.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Dr. Nancy O'Hara
📚Demystifying PANS/PANDAS: A Functional Medicine Desktop Reference on Basal Ganglia Encephalitis
🎧 Demystifying PANS/PANDAS Podcast
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱IG: @nhoharamd FB: Nancy O'Hara MD, MPH, FAAP
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.
🔗 Dr. O'Hara's mentor, Sidney M. Baker, MD
🔗 Susan Swedo, MD, who created the acronym and coined the terms of PANS and PANDAS
📚 Super Sam and the Battle Against PANS/PANDAS by Dr. Lindsey Wells
🔗 Practitioner directories and community support: Aspire and Look Foundation
🔗 For practitioners: PANDAS Physicians Network
🔗 A helpful resource you can bring to your pediatrician: The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry - February 2017
📚 The Comprehensive Physicians' Guide to the Management of PANS and PANDAS: An Evidence-Based Approach to Diagnosis, Testing, and Effective Treatment by Dr. Scott Antoine
🔗 Autism and PANS PANDAS
🔗 The Medical Academy of Pediatrics and Special Needs
🔗 Ilads
🔗 Psychiatry Redefined
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how mold, Lyme, pesticides, and other toxins may be impacting your child's physical and mental health with integrative pediatrician Dr. Pejman Katiraei
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle potty regressions in your older child?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) can be an effective treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help autistic kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- The subtle but important difference between encouraging empathy and unintentionally parentifying a child.
- What reflective functioning is and why helping your child develop this skill may be one of the most important things you can do as a parent.
- What helps empathy develop naturally in children without pressure or responsibility.
- Ways to navigate mismatched messages from extended family while staying grounded in your own parenting values.
- What parents can do to foster healthy sibling dynamics.
If you have ever worried about asking too much of your older child, felt activated by comments about siblings taking care of each other, or wondered how to support healthy sibling relationships without repeating old patterns, this episode offers clarity, nuance, and a calmer way forward.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why your kids fight and how to foster closeness with Dr. Jonathan Caspi
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sibling rivalry and jealousy
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about breaking the cycle of insecure attachment with Dr. Miriam Steele
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or
Eli Weinstein, couples therapist and author of the upcoming book From I Do to We Do: Navigating Marriage in Parenting Years, joins me to talk about what really happens to a relationship after kids.
Together we explore:
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Why parenthood doesn't just add stress, it reactivates attachment patterns and old wounds in both partners.
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What's really happening when you keep having the same fight on repeat, and how to begin spotting the deeper need beneath it.
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How mental load, feeling unseen, and constant "downloading" logistics quietly erode connection and build resentment.
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The difference between "we made up" and actually repairing what keeps breaking.
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How couples get stuck in "gridlock arguments" and what helps uncover what's really driving the conflict.
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The role overstimulation and nervous system overload play in reactivity at home.
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Practical ways couples can reset and regrow in this new season, without waiting for more time, sleep, or perfect circumstances
This episode is designed to help you feel less alone in the mess of marriage after kids, and more confident about what actually helps couples stay connected, communicate better, and find their way back to each other.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Eli Weinstein
📚From I Do to We Do: Navigating Marriage in the Parenting Years
🎧The Dude Therapist Podcast
🎧 Listen to Eli's last Securely Attached episode about busting parenting gender stereotypes with Eli Weinstein
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@eliweinstein_lcsw
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services for individuals, couples, parents and kids and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how secure attachment influences children's ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns with Alana Carvalho
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child can be securely attached to you if you are insecurely attached in your adult relationships
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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Why so many parents start questioning their instincts around holding and comforting as their baby becomes a toddler.
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How to tell when your child truly needs comfort versus when they may be ready for a small, supportive stretch.
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What increased clinginess may be communicating and how decoding the root cause can guide what to do next.
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Why soothing and physical closeness do not undermine independence and often play a key role in helping it develop.
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How to move away from rigid parenting rules and make moment-to-moment decisions rooted in attunement and nervous system cues.
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What it looks like to honor your own limits without making your child feel unsafe, rejected, or "too much."
If you have ever wondered whether you are helping or hurting your child by picking them up, holding them, or setting boundaries around your availability, this episode will help you navigate those moments with more confidence.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 Donald Winicott
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about confidently parenting your toddler with Transforming Toddlerhood's Devon Kuntzman
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about toddler sleep with Eileen Henry
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Rebecca Geshuri, therapist and co-author of the new book When Good Moms Feel Bad joins me to talk about why so many "good moms" still feel overwhelmed, reactive, or stuck in cycles of guilt, anger, and self-criticism.
Together we explore:
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Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) Rebecca breaks down what "parts work" is and how understanding your inner parts can reduce reactivity and shame.
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How polarization between "what my child needs" and "what I need" fuels burnout and emotional overwhelm.
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Why parenting feels hardest when younger, protective parts take over.
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What the "inner mom" is and how learning to access this part of yourself builds calm, confidence, and connection.
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A simple framework to slow down in triggering moments and respond with more compassion.
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How self-compassion and nervous system awareness support secure attachment — for both you and your child.
If you've been feeling overwhelmed and burnt out in parenthood, this episode offers validation, language for what you're experiencing, and practical tools to help you feel more grounded, regulated, and connected.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Rebecca Geshuri
🔗 Second Street Collective
📚 When Good Moms Feel Bad: An Empowering Guide for Transforming Guilt, Anxiety, and Anger into Compassion, Confidence, and Connectedness
🎧 Listen to Rebecca's first Securely Attached interview about her approach combining Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy with maternal mental health
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 drsarahbren.com
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why specialized mental healthcare providers matter with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you learn to lighten the load in pregnancy and parenthood with Dr. Sterling
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of mom-rage Diana Winston
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode exploration of healing trauma through presence, connection, and self-awareness with Dr. Jacob Ham
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of energy healing with Stephanie Filardi
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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What body doubling actually is and why your child may focus better simply because someone is nearby.
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Why getting started on tasks (homework, getting dressed, chores) is often harder than the task itself for kids with ADHD.
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How to be intentional about helping reduce procrastination, distraction, and emotional overwhelm for your child.
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How to use body doubling in ways that build independence over time, instead of creating power struggles or burnout.
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Real-life, low-effort examples of body doubling that don't require special systems, tutors, or more on your plate.
If your child struggles to get started, loses focus easily, or can only seem to work when someone is sitting with them, this episode offers a strategy to support them in a way that feels sustainable and actually works.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Interested in learning more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's Parenting Your Child with ADHD 8-week virtual workshop series to empower parents of children, adolescents, and young adults with ADHD? Go to upshurbren.com/group-adhd or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about with real-life strategies for parenting a child with ADHD with Dr. Eliza Barach
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how can I get my child with ADHD go from one activity to the next without a fight?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can prepare for an IEP or 504 meeting after my child receives an ADHD diagnosis
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can help your child utilize school supports without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. W. Thomas Boyce, author of The Orchid and the Dandelion, joins me to talk about why some children are biologically more sensitive to their environments and how that sensitivity can become either a challenge or a powerful strength.
Together we explore:
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What it means to have either an orchid or a dandelion child and why this exists on a spectrum rather than as a strict either-or.
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Why sensitive children often struggle the most in stressful environments and thrive the most in supportive ones.
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How nervous system reactivity and regulation show up differently across kids and what that means for how you parent.
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The difference between sensitivity and fragility and why sensitive kids can be incredibly resilient when the right supports are in place.
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How parents can support orchid children without overprotecting or pushing them too hard.
This episode is designed to help parents better understand their child's sensitivity, feel less afraid of getting it wrong, and walk away with a clearer sense of how to support their child in a way that builds resilience, confidence, and long-term emotional health.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
📚The Orchid and the Dandelion
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@theorchidandthedandelion
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about preventing burnout when you're the parent of a highly sensitive child
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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How to understand what is really happening when a young child becomes intensely frustrated or self critical.
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Why perfectionistic behaviors in early childhood are often developmentally normal and when they may begin to impact confidence or emotional well being.
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What to do in the moment when your child is dysregulated and why reassurance, praise, or growth mindset language often does not land when emotions are running high.
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How staying curious about your child's negative self talk can actually support resilience and self awareness over time.
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Ways to protect your child's inner voice and self esteem without trying to rush her out of uncomfortable feelings.
If your child gets stuck in frustration, takes mistakes personally, or is hard on themself, this episode will help you learn how to support their long term emotional growth.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode: Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode: Secure attachment and growth mindset: The science behind raising well-adjusted kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode: Helping sensitive kids build self-esteem and get out of a cycle of self-criticism with Dr. Blaise Aguirre
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode: Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Somatic practitioner and founder of Circle of Nurture, Lisa Rombach, joins me for a deeply grounding conversation about motherhood, the nervous system, and why mothers need support just as much as the children they care for.
Together, we explore:
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What somatic work actually is, in everyday language, and why it's not as abstract as it may sound.
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How motherhood changes our relationship with our bodies and sense of self.
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Why self-care often falls short and what truly helps mothers feel replenished.
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The role of community, presence, and being witnessed in reducing burnout.
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How being held and supported as a mother quietly shapes how our children feel safe and secure.
This episode will help mothers feel less alone, more understood, and more grounded in their own experience. You don't need to fix yourself or try harder, sometimes the most powerful shift comes from being supported and held.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Circle of Nurture
🔗 Register for Lisa's live master class: Mother Glue
🔗 Join the next online Mother's Circle
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@circleofnurture
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Feeling weighed down by mom-guilt, identity shifts, or the mental load of parenting? Upshur Bren Psychology Group specializes in maternal mental health and offers therapy and coaching to help you feel more grounded and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs.
🔗 Feldenkrais Method
🔗 Somatic Experiencing (SE™) from Dr. Peter A. Levine
🔗 Kimberly Ann Johnson
🔗 Mother Circle: Mothering through adoption
🔗 Lucy Rowett
🔗 The Mother Circle
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my episode on parental burnout: What it is, why it happens, and how to overcome it
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how tuning into your child's natural rhythms can completely transform the way you understand their emotions and reactions with somatic therapist Alé Duarte
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of energy healing with Stephanie Filardi
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with Rebecca Geshuri and Jessica Sorci
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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Whether lying is a normal part of child development or a sign of a deeper issue.
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What kids are actually trying to solve when they lie and how understanding that can change the way we respond as parents.
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How lying can function as a stress response, similar to fight, flight, or freeze, especially for kids with still-developing executive functioning skills.
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Why pushing for confessions, lectures, or punishments often backfires, leading to more power struggles and less honesty — and what to say in the moment instead.
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How to teach honesty over time without making your child feel unsafe bringing you the big stuff later on.
If your child has started lying and you find yourself wondering whether this is "normal," whether you should be worried, or how to handle it without condoning the behavior, this episode will help you respond with more calm, clarity, and confidence.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🗞️ Fight, Flight, Freeze… or Fib?
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether encouraging imagination will lead to lying in the future
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your child to cooperate without using threats
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Independent play expert Lizzie Assa is back on Securely Attached to talk about how play is one of the most powerful ways children can build confidence, creativity, frustration tolerance, and resilience (while parents get a little breathing room back too.)
Together we explore:
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What independent play actually looks like for kids of all ages and what is realistic at each stage.
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Why independent play does not just happen, and how parents can teach it without guilt or power struggles.
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How to create simple "play pockets" in your home that make independent play more likely.
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Signs your child may have too many toys and why toy overload can shut play down.
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Specific phrases, routines, and timing cues that make independent play more successful.
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How to decode what your child's play reveals about their emotional experience and where they might need extra support.
-
How independent play might look different for only children versus those playing with siblings.
This episode is designed to leave you with specific ideas you can put into practice immediately, from how to set up play to what to say when you step back, so independent play becomes something that actually works in your day-to-day life.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 The Workspace for Children
🔗 Substack - The Workplace for Children
📚 But I'm Bored!: Discover the Power of Independent Play to Raise Confident, Resilient Kids
🎧 Listen to Lizzie's first interview on the Securely Attached podcast
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@theworkspaceforchildren
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the best toys to encourage independent play
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether fun is the antidote to burnout with Mike Rucker
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering if there is a wrong way to encourage independent play
🎧Listen to podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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Why some children are more sensitive to teasing, how temperament plays a role, and why those kids are often more likely to be targeted by peers.
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How all three hosts, as therapists and parents of sensitive boys, handle teasing and social stress with their own children, including what has helped and what we had to learn the hard way.
-
What kids mean when they talk about "rage baiting," how this behavior shows up in friendships, and why it is especially dysregulating for sensitive children.
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Whether a "toughen up" approach ever helps sensitive kids, and what Dr. Sarah learned when her husband's advice to their son worked better than her own.
-
How children can learn coping skills for teasing, including when to walk away, when it might be okay to engage, and how to tell the difference.
If your child takes teasing to heart and you worry about how to help without minimizing their feelings, this episode will help you support your sensitive child with more confidence, clarity, and connection.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising sensitive, "spicy," or highly emotional children
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating peer rejection in early adolescence
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Author of Indistractable, Nir Eyal, is here to reshape the way we think about attention, willpower, and the forces that pull our minds in a thousand different directions.
Together we explore:
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The surprising science showing that internal triggers (not technology) drive most of our daily distractions.
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How stress, boredom, overwhelm, and discomfort quietly shape our habits (and our kids').
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Nir's simple 4-step framework for becoming "indistractable."
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What parents can do to model healthy tech habits without constant nagging, power struggles, or guilt.
-
How to help kids build executive functioning skills like focus, follow-through, and frustration tolerance.
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A scheduling hack families can use to reduce battles and increase connection.
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The small mindset shifts that turn everyday moments of distraction into opportunities for growth.
If you've ever found yourself checking your phone without thinking, losing time to endless tasks, struggling to stay present with your child, or worrying about how screens are affecting your family, this episode offers clarity, practical tools, and a completely new way to approach focus and intentionality — for both you and your kids.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Nir Eyal
📚 Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life
📚 Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱X: @nireyal & LinkedIn: Nir Eyal
📱IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Are you interested in exploring executive functioning supports? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group we offer a wide range of options, including in-person services for kids who live locally and virtual coaching support for those nationally. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the best response to kids who constantly say, "I'm bored"?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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Why toddlers often get intensely attached to a single outfit and why this kind of rigidity is usually a totally normal part of development.
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How to understand the difference between a sensory preference, a sensory processing challenge, and everyday toddler stubbornness.
-
What "system load" is and why kids become more rigid when they are navigating stress, transitions, or big developmental leaps.
-
How to reduce morning battles by planning ahead, building flexibility skills, and getting curious about what is really driving your child's resistance.
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What to do on the days when nothing works, including how to ride out meltdowns with less guilt and more grounded presence.
If you are struggling with daily clothing standoffs or wondering whether your child's rigidity means something is wrong, this episode will help you make sense of what is developmentally typical, when to consider sensory support, and how to navigate tough moments with more confidence and clarity.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your toddler with Devon Kuntzman
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode on how to mindfully parent a threenager
🎧 Listen to my podcast on understanding your child's sensory processing experiences with The OT Butterfly Laura Petix
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode on strengthening your child's distress tolerance
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Saumya Dave, psychiatrist, mental health advocate, and author of the new novel The Guilt Pill, joins me this week for a conversation about the emotional load so many mothers carry that can shape our choices, our identity, and even how we see ourselves as parents.
Together we explore:
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The surprising truth that guilt isn't always bad and how to recognize when it's actually trying to tell you something important.
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How cultural expectations and "good girl" conditioning quietly shape the way mothers judge themselves, often without realizing it.
-
What happens when we try to shut off difficult emotions, and why numbing guilt can create more challenges than it solves.
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Why Dr. Saumya chose fiction to explore the emotional undercurrents of motherhood and how storytelling reveals truths we rarely say out loud.
-
What kids learn from the way we relate to guilt and how parents can model a healthier, more grounded approach.
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Small shifts that can loosen guilt's grip and help you reconnect with the messy, joyful moments right in front of you.
If you've ever felt weighed down by the pressure to be a "perfect" parent, struggled with the inner critic that tells you you're not doing enough, or simply want a deeper understanding of where mom guilt comes from and how to soften its impact, this episode will give you clarity, validation, and tools to support your emotional wellbeing.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Saumya Dave
📚 The Guilt Pill: A Psychological Thriller of Motherhood and Ambition
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@saumyajdave
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Feeling weighed down by mom-guilt, identity shifts, or the mental load of parenting? Upshur Bren Psychology Group specializes in maternal mental health and offers therapy and coaching to help you feel more grounded and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs.
📚 To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode fighting against the pressure to be perfect with Gayane Aramyan
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether one mom's guilt over being a working mom is hurting her parenting
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how mentally strong people handle life's up's and downs with Amy Morin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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Why the fear that no one will come to your child's birthday party feels so intense for parents and why that reaction is rooted in real neuroscience.
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Ways to ground yourself so you can support your child with clarity instead of panic.
-
Strategies for planning a birthday celebration that feels safe, joyful, and truly right for your child, whether that means a small gathering, a special outing, or something completely different.
-
How to partner with teachers, other parents, and your community to help your child form more meaningful connections.
-
What to do if disappointment still happens and how to validate your child's feelings without getting stuck in them.
If you are worried about your child feeling left out, this episode will help you navigate those moments with more confidence so you can show up with grounded support and help your child feel understood and connected.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🎧 Why birthdays are so hard for your kid and what parents can do about it
🎧 Listen to my podcast interview with Dr. Yael Schonbrun
👉🏻Why the brain registers the pain of social rejection the same way as physical pain
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle peer rejection in toddlerhood
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in early adolescence
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Clinical psychologist, educational leader, and author of Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation, Dr. Doug Bolton, joins me this week to unpack the rising levels of anxiety, burnout, and overwhelm we're seeing in kids today.
Together we explore:
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How changes in education starting in the 90s have intensified academic pressure for kids of all ages.
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Why school avoidance, perfectionism, and burnout are rising, even among high-achieving students.
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The neuroscience behind why rigor, overscheduling, and constant output make it harder for kids to access curiosity, regulation, and real learning.
-
How expectations have shifted, and why many kids simply aren't developmentally ready for what schools now demand.
-
Realistic, achievable ways to build rest, connection, and resilience into daily family life.
-
Small shifts parents can make at home to buffer their child's stress, protect their mental health, and restore balance.
If your child is melting down after school, anxious about grades, overwhelmed by homework, or feeling weighed down by pressure to perform, this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface and give you practical tools to support their wellbeing.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Dr. Doug Bolton
📚Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools, and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@douglasabolton
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 If your child is feeling overwhelmed by school demands, struggling with executive functioning, or showing signs of anxiety or burnout, you don't have to navigate this alone. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about our therapy and coaching services designed to help kids and families move through these challenges with clarity and support.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel less academic pressure
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle school refusal
🎧 Listen to podcast episode about the myths of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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What is actually happening when your toddler cries over every little thing, from dropped toys to leaving the playground.
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Why saying "don't cry" often backfires, and what actually helps shorten the crying instead.
-
The simple validation strategy that calms big feelings faster, even when every part of you wants the tears to stop.
-
How to model emotional regulation by moving forward without ignoring your child or shutting their feelings down.
-
When to offer empathy, when to add a little distraction (and why the order you do this really matters!) for helping toddlers build resilience.
If your child seems to dissolve into tears at the smallest frustration, this episode will help you understand the developmental reasons behind all that emotion and give you practical, real-world tools for supporting their feelings while still keeping your day moving.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about helping parents decipher whether you have a child who is anxious or just sensitive
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about understanding toddlerhood with Devon Kuntzman
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your toddler's sleep with Eileen Henry
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Pediatrician and bestselling author Dr. Golly (aka Dr. Daniel Golshevsky) joins me this week to help new parents make sense of the early weeks with a newborn and feel more grounded, confident, and connected along the way.
Together we explore:
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How to understand newborn behavior and cues so you can respond with more confidence.
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What really matters in the first four weeks — and what you can let go of.
-
Why some babies struggle to settle, and how to support their developing nervous system.
-
How to create flexible, supportive routines without slipping into rigidity or pressure.
-
The powerful role of partners and non-breastfeeding caregivers in bonding and soothing.
-
How parents can tune out the noise, trust their instincts, and feel less overwhelmed by conflicting advice.
Whether you're navigating confusing cues, unpredictable sleep, feeding challenges, colic, or the general overwhelm of early parenthood, this episode offers clarity and reassurance during one of the most intense transitions of your life.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Learn more about Dr. Golly and use code securelyattachedVIP15 for 15% off all Dr Golly courses at www.drgolly.com
🔗Get Dr. Golly's free Sleeping Tips checklists
📚Your Baby Doesn't Come with a Book: Dr Golly's Guide to the First Four Weeks of Parenthood
📚Dr Golly's Guide to Family Illness: Sneezes, Wheezes and Common Diseases
📚Our Baby, Our Baby, What Do You Need?: A Dr Golly Lift-the-Flap book
📚Our Baby, Our Baby, What Did You Say?: A Dr Golly Lift-the-Flap book
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱@drgolly
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
WANT TO TAKE YOUR LEARNING EVEN FURTHER?
Join me in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about lightening the load in pregnancy and parenthood with Dr. Sterling
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Megan Roche
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how "mom-brain" can be our greatest strength with Dr. Nicole Pensak
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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What actually happens in a group therapy session for kids and how it differs from one-on-one therapy.
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How group therapy can help children practice social skills, build confidence, and feel less alone in their struggles.
-
The fears many parents have about group therapy, including concerns about negative peer influence, comparison, or awkwardness.
-
The different types of groups therapists run, including skills-based groups, process groups, and hybrid formats, and how to know which one fits your child best.
-
Why peer support can be uniquely powerful for kids with anxiety or low self-esteem and how group leaders create a safe, supportive environment.
-
What to ask a group leader before signing up so you can feel confident it will be the right match for your child.
If you've been curious whether group therapy might help your child feel supported, connected, and more capable in whatever challenges they are facing, this episode will give you a clear picture of what group work really looks like and how to decide if it could be a good fit for your kid.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 Want to learn more about group therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode determine the fine line between supporting your child versus feeding their anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the different forms of therapy with Dr. Katie C. Lewis
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between executive function coaching and tutoring
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman joins me this week to unpack breath-holding spells, those frightening moments when a child turns blue or pale, goes limp, or briefly loses consciousness during intense emotion or dysregulation or pain.
Together we explore:
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The two types of breath-holding spells and what triggers each of them.
-
Are certain children more prone to these episodes based on genetics, temperament, or other factors?
-
What should parents do in the moment to keep their child safe, and how to know when it's time to call their pediatrician.
-
What parents can do after a spell to comfort their child.
-
Do these spells cause any long-term harm, or are they truly benign?
-
How to support your child's emotion regulation and frustration tolerance between episodes.
If you're currently navigating breath-holding spells, or you simply want to feel more prepared for the unexpected moments that come with raising little ones, this episode offers clarity, reassurance, and practical guidance from both a pediatrician and a fellow parent who has lived this experience firsthand.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 Dr. Caity Gilman
🎧 Listen to Caity's first episode about vaccine safety
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
🔗 drsarahbren.com
📱 @drsarahbren
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is afraid of going to the doctor
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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How to start holiday traditions when you have a toddler and a new baby (without adding more pressure and stress to your plate!)
-
Setting realistic expectations so you don't feel disappointed if the picture in your head and the reality with your kids look very different.
-
How to stay flexible as your kids grow, their interests change, and your family evolves.
-
Why kids often latch onto those unexpected and unplanned moments of joy and togetherness - and how realizing this can help take some of the pressure off parents.
-
Simple ways to create meaningful holiday rituals, avoid overwhelm, and set a tone of joy, connection, and calm for your family this season.
Whether you're navigating multiple holidays, trying to balance gifts with meaning, or simply hoping to make this season feel special (without losing your mind), this episode will help you build traditions that truly fit your family and remind you that the magic often comes from doing less, not more.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to keep your child from becoming spoiled
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether elf on the shelf is unaligned (or not!) with positive parenting
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how kids can get dysregulated from excitement too
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what you can do to if your child gets pressured to perform for other adults
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me this week are Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, co-authors of the bestselling book The Self-Driven Child and leading experts on the neuroscience of stress, motivation, and autonomy.
Together we explore:
-
Why a child's sense of control is one of the strongest predictors of resilience, mental health, and stress tolerance.
-
How play, rest, and unstructured time uniquely support healthy brain development.
-
The hidden ways over-scheduling, overstimulation, and constant "fixing" can unintentionally increase anxiety.
-
What it really means to be a "non-anxious presence" — and how your calm helps regulate your child's nervous system.
-
How to give kids space to struggle, experiment, and try hard things without overwhelming them or abandoning them.
-
Practical, research-backed strategies for helping kids feel both safe and capable in a world that often feels anything but.
Whether you're raising a toddler or a teen, this conversation offers a grounded, science-backed reframe for understanding stress, resilience, and autonomy — and meaningful tools you can start using today to strengthen connection and help your child thrive.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUESTS:
🔗 https://theselfdrivenchild.com/
🎧 The Self-Driven Child Podcast
📚 The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives
📚 The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook
📚 What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home
🎧 The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@selfdrivenchild
📱@drbillstixrud
📱@theothernedjohnson
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience
🔗 Rest Is Not Idleness: Implications of the Brain's Default Mode for Human Development and Education
🔗 A Social-Cognitive Approach to Motivation and Personality
🔗 Effects of the COVID-19 Pandemic on Mental Health and Brain Maturation in Adolescents: Implications for Analyzing Longitudinal Data
📚 The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating childhood anxiety through SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the right (and wrong!) way to foster your child's independent play
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Listen to my podcast about how RIE can evolve into lifelong respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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If it's normal for a toddlers to say "I'm sorry" constantly, even when they haven't done anything wrong.
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Breaking down child development: How repetition and "theory of mind" shape early empathy and build social awareness.
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How to know when frequent apologizing is just a normal developmental phase (and when it might signal something more).
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The subtle ways parents can unintentionally reinforce this habit (and some phrases and actions to try instead.)
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How to respond to your child in the moment to build confidence, connection, and emotional understanding.
If your little one apologizes for every stubbed toe, sibling squabble, or frustrated sigh, this episode will help you understand what's really going on and how to gently guide them toward more accurate empathy, without worry or overcorrection.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Want practical tools to help your child learn to manage big feelings? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play. It's a resource packed with simple, fun games you can play with your child to strengthen their ability to recognize, express, and regulate their emotions.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about understanding toddlerhood with Devon Kuntzman
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your toddler's sleep with Eileen Henry
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about how not to raise a people pleaser
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Alé Duarte, somatic therapist and creator of KidSoma joins me this week to explore how tuning into your child's natural rhythms can completely transform the way you understand their emotions and reactions.
Together we unpack:
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Why play isn't a break from learning, it is the learning.
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What it means to help your child "complete a cycle" so their nervous system can settle and grow.
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How "unfinished cycles" can leave kids dysregulated, impulsive, or anxious—and what parents can do to help their child complete these cycles in daily life.
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Realistic ways to implement these strategies even when you're juggling busy schedules, time pressures, and the realities of everyday parenting.
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Why slowing down and following your child's lead can actually make mornings smoother, transitions easier, and connection deeper.
If you've ever wished you could understand what's happening underneath your child's big emotions and find a calmer rhythm for your entire family system, this conversation will change the way you see play, presence, and parenting.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗Alè Duarte
🔗 Kid Soma
🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱IG: @aleduarte_international YouTube: @aleduartetube
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 What is Somatic Experiencing?
👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about choosing between play therapy for kids and parenting support
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of mindfulness
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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Why kids often say "this is boring" when something actually feels too hard or frustrating.
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How to tell whether your child's struggle with schoolwork might be about motivation, confidence, or a deeper learning challenge.
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What to do when tutoring or extra practice starts leading to power struggles or resistance.
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The pros and cons of reward systems, and how to use incentives in a way that truly motivates your child (without creating more stress).
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When to consider a school-based or private evaluation—and how to know which supports will make the biggest difference for your child's unique struggles.
If your child has started saying they "hate school" or "reading is boring" this episode will help you understand what's really driving that resistance and give you practical, compassionate ways to make learning feel lighter, more motivating, and even fun again.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 Learn about the Orton-Gillingham approach to reading for those with dyslexia
👉 If you're starting to wonder whether your child's challenges with learning might be more than a motivation issue, our Neuropsychological Testing services can help. Visit https://upshurbren.com/neuropsychological-testing to learn how we assess and support children with learning differences, or schedule a free call to talk through what resources might be right for your child.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between tutoring and executive functioning skills
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the best response for when your child says "I'm bored"
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about using creativity to support mental health and resilience Sharon Itkoff Nacache
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me this week is therapist and the author of the new book Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period, Lauren A. Tetenbaum.
Together we explore:
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The perimenopause symptoms that often begin in your 30s and 40s, long before your period stops.
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How hormonal changes affect your mood, identity, relationships, and sense of self — and why understanding this can be profoundly grounding.
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Why perimenopause isn't just a "women's issue," but a family and cultural one, impacting partners, kids, and the emotional climate of a home.
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How to talk to your kids (yes, including your sons!) about menstruation, menopause, and the full arc of reproductive life in ways that reduce shame and build empathy.
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Practical strategies for navigating this transition, including how to advocate for yourself with healthcare providers, what kinds of support actually help, and how to build a mental health plan that works for your body and life.
Our message is simple but powerful: when women understand what's happening in their bodies and get the support they deserve, they're able to move through this transition with more confidence, steadiness, and compassion for themselves and the people they love.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗The CounseLaur
📚Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period
🎧 Balancing the load of parenthood: Becoming a team with your partner-in-parenting with Lauren A. Tetenbaum
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@thecounselaur
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 The Menopause Society
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the cycle of the female body, from puberty to perimenopause with Dr. Lauren Streicher
🎧Listen to the podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about raising girls who know their worth with Kate Rope
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting boys to combat toxic masculinity with Ruth Whippman
We're doing something a little different on Beyond the Sessions this week! Instead of answering a listener question, Dr. Emily Upshur, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, and I are unpacking a fascinating (and slightly unsettling) study about how media exposure to traumatic events can affect our mental health—and what it means for us and our kids.
In this episode, we talk about:
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A study that found people who watched repeated news coverage about the Boston Marathon Bombing showed more markers of stress than some who were actually there.
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Why constant exposure to distressing headlines can keep your nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight.
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How past trauma and chronic stress can make us more vulnerable to media-induced anxiety.
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What "orienting to safety" means and simple ways to help your brain (and your child's) return to calm.
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How to talk to kids about scary news stories in age-appropriate, grounding ways.
In a world where we're surrounded by 24/7 coverage of crisis and tragedy, this conversation will help you understand what's happening inside your brain and body and give you tools for focusing on building resilience and safety for your child.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Media's role in broadcasting acute stress following the Boston Marathon bombings
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental burnout
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about motherhood as a millennial with Marcella Kelson
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
High-conflict divorce doesn't just end a marriage, it can shake your identity, your parenting, and your ability to feel grounded. Joining me to share guidance for parents at the beginning, in the thick of it, or still processing the aftermath is divorce coach Karen McMahon.
Together we explore:
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What defines a high-conflict parent and how this dynamic impacts families.
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Why trying to change your ex keeps you stuck—and where your real power lies.
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Practical strategies to co-parent effectively, even when cooperation feels impossible.
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How to protect kids from the emotional "shrapnel" of conflict while staying grounded yourself.
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How unresolved trauma and attachment patterns can influence who we choose as partners—and how to break those cycles.
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The role of boundaries, support systems, and self-healing in transforming not just your divorce, but your identity moving forward.
Whether you're in the midst of a high-conflict divorce or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers compassionate insight and practical tools to help you reclaim your confidence, protect your children, and move forward with grace.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/
🎧 Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast
📞 Rapid Relief Call
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@journey_beyond_divorce
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for women to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧334. Divorce, custody & co-parenting: The legal considerations parents need to know with matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman
🎧 42. Busting divorce myths and breaking down the true affect it has on children: A conversation with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
🎧 322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer
🎧106. Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood with Alana Carvalho
🎧 199. Q&A: What are strategies for co-parenting with a narcissist?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Why potty regressions can happen even years after a child is toilet trained.
-Why getting to the root of your child's challenges — whether accidents stem from a medical issue or a psychological struggle — is key to finding the right approach and intervention.
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What to do (and what not to do) when your child starts hiding accidents out of shame or embarrassment.
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How to help your child take ownership and build confidence, without making them feel bad.
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Practical tips for handling accidents at playdates, with friends, or in public, while preserving your child's dignity.
This episode will help you make sense of what's behind potty regressions in older kids and offer practical, shame-free ways to support your child's body awareness, confidence, and emotional well-being.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with everything you need to know before you start potty training
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bed wetting, constipation and pelvic health with Quiara Smith
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about interoception and the importance of helping kids connect body signals to emotions with OT Kelly Mahler
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me this week is Dr. Peter Vermeulen, psychologist, author, and founder of Autism in Context. Peter has spent more than 35 years helping families, educators, and clinicians better understand autism and what it truly means to live a happy, meaningful life.
Together we explore:
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Why happiness and well-being deserve as much attention as therapies or interventions for autistic individuals - and what we can learn from autistic people who are thriving.
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How reframing "stereotyped interests" as passions and talents can open doors to meaning, confidence, and even careers.
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Why predictability is so essential for autistic children's sense of safety and how parents can build that into daily routines and relationships to foster a secure attachment bond.
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Just like you feed your child before they get hangry, how parents can "pre-regulate" their child's nervous system throughout the day to prevent overload, meltdowns, and dysregulation.
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Why autistic children absolutely do form attachments — and how differences in communication and perception can lead to misunderstandings in connection, not an absence of it.
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Practical ways to nurture love and security (Spoiler: things like creating predictable rituals, using concrete symbols, establishing shared routines to strengthen your bond, and more!)
Peter's message is both deeply compassionate and hopeful: autistic individuals are capable of happiness, love, and purpose — and when we meet them with curiosity and respect for how their brains see the world, we can help them build lives filled with meaning and joy.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://petervermeulen.be/
🔗 Good Feeling Questionnaire
📚 Autism as Context Blindness
📚 Autism and The Predictive Brain
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@pedrovermeulen
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported — and every parent deserves a place to turn. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a full continuum of autism services: diagnostic testing, individual therapy, and parent support groups for families raising children and young adults on the spectrum. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options for you and your child.
🔗 Leo Kanner and autism: a 75-year perspective
🔗Attachment and Autism Spectrum Disorder (Without Intellectual Disability) During Middle Childhood: In Search of the Missing Piece
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodiverse brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a neuropsych evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen
🎧 Listen to my podcast episodes about Resources for Infant educarers with Deborah Carlisle Solomon
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode I talk about...
- How to handle Halloween candy without guilt, power struggles, or micromanaging.
- Strategies for finding that balance between restricting sweets while also allowing your child to enjoy the fun of the holiday.
- Why your own food anxieties might be showing up more than you realize — and how not to pass them on.
- How to use this as an opportunity to build trust, awareness, and healthy boundaries.
- Practical ways to help kids build awareness, self-control, and a healthy relationship with food that lasts long after Halloween.
If your feeling overwhelmed about just how you're going to approach trick-or-treating this year, this episode will help you cut through the noise, manage your own worries, and approach this holiday with more confidence.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:
- Check out my website: drsarahbren.com
- Follow me on Instagram: @drsarahbren
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter
🎧 Collaboration over control: Using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon
🔗Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how can I help your child feel less scared of Halloween?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if you're giving in too much and becoming permissive
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if you have a kid who would never stop eating if you don't restrict their food intake
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me this week is Jessica Baum, licensed mental health counselor, relationship expert, and author of the new book SAFE: Coming Home to Yourself and Others.
Together we explore:
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How insecure attachment patterns form in childhood and continue to shape how we show up as adults and parents.
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Why parents with a history of insecure attachment may find themselves more easily triggered by their children.
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The difference between awareness and healing, and why insight alone isn't enough to create real change.
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How to repair attachment wounds by learning to regulate your own nervous system.
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What the "Wheel of Attachment" reveals about the fluid, nuanced nature of our attachment patterns.
-
How doing your own inner work can transform not just your relationships, but the emotional security you pass down to your kids.
If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do or how to stop repeating painful relational cycles, this conversation will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface and give you hope that true, lasting healing is possible.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview
📚Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships
📚Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love
🔗 Conscious Relationship Group
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱IG: @jessicabaumlmhc, FB: Conscious Relationship Group, LinkedIn: Jessica Baum, LMHC, CAP
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Interested in learning more about attachment science? Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
📚 The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships
🔗 What is conscious parenting?
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode breaking down the basics of attachment theory (this is a great place to start!)
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns with Alana Carvalho
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode whether or not insecure attachment is really as bad as we think with attachment researcher Dr. Or Dagan
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to break the cycle of generational trauma and insecure attachment patterns with Dr. Miriam Steele
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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Why some kids, especially sensitive kids, get dysregulated all over again when parents calmly try to talk about what happened later.
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How shame can get triggered in your child, even when you're trying to be gentle and supportive.
-
What to do when "teaching moments" keep turning into meltdowns.
-
Why focusing on the before (not the after) of a hard moment can make all the difference.
-
Practical ways to help your child build self-control, handle frustration, and practice new skills without reactivating big emotions.
If you've ever thought, "I waited until she was calm… why is she losing it again?" this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface and give you fresh, compassionate strategies to help your child learn and grow.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 Go to drsarahbren.com/discipline to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!
👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about disciplining your sensitive child with Dr. Vanessa Lapointe
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting a child a sensitive child
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me this week is Devon Kuntzman, the author of the brand-new book Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Go From Surviving to Thriving in the Toddler Years. Devon is here to talk about what's really going on beneath the surface of those big toddler behaviors—and how parents can respond with calm, confidence, and connection.
Together we explore:
- Why those "challenging" toddler behaviors (like tantrums, hitting, and defiance) are actually developmentally appropriate—and what they're communicating.
- How to shift from punishment to teaching, and use discipline as a tool for learning rather than control.
- The meaning behind Devon's concept of developmentally smart parenting and how it helps you set firm but kind limits.
- Practical tools for staying grounded and patient during your child's biggest meltdowns.
- How to step out of power struggles without giving up your authority.
- Why your calm, confident presence is the most powerful parenting strategy you have.
Whether you're deep in the toddler trenches or preparing for this next stage, this conversation will help you see your child's behavior through a new lens—and bring more confidence, connection, and compassion into your parenting.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/
📚 Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@transformingtoddlerhood
📱@drsarahbren
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry
🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?
🎧 231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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Why Halloween can feel scary for preschoolers and what's happening developmentally as they work through the difference between what's real and pretend.
-
Strategies you can use to help your child feel safe and confident around spooky decorations, costumes, and trick-or-treating.
-
A simple tip you can start doing now to help your child understand that masks and costumes are just pretend.
-
How to prepare your child ahead of time with coping strategies for when something feels too scary in the moment.
-
How to know when it may be appropriate to gently stretch your child's comfort zone and when to call it a night.
If your little one is nervous about ghosts, monsters, or just the noise and chaos of Halloween night, this episode will help you turn spooky season into a playful, confidence-building experience for your child and a less stressful one for you.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about building your child's resilience
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your child's emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me this week is Kate Rope. We're talking about how parents can raise daughters who feel strong, capable, and deeply connected to themselves, while also supporting our own mental health as parents.
Together we explore:
-
How to parent from hope (rather than fears) and why this can help your child feel safer, more capable, and resilient.
-
How identifying your family's "North Star values" can guide you through tough parenting decisions.
-
The deceptively simple, yet powerful shift of pausing and listening before reacting.
-
Practical ways to nurture assertiveness, support healthy friendships, and help girls trust their inner voice.
-
Why our own self-care and modeling are essential to raising strong, emotionally secure kids.
-
How to create everyday opportunities for girls to practice autonomy, confidence, and consent.
Whether you're raising a daughter or simply want to strengthen the emotional wellbeing of the kids in your care, this conversation is filled with insight, validation, and real-life strategies you can start using right away.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗https://katerope.com/
📚Strong As a Girl: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up for, and Take Care of Themselves
📚Strong As a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU!
💻 https://katerope.substack.com/
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@kateropewriter
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 304. Stress, screens, shifting hormones, and early puberty: Why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler
🎧286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein
🎧146. The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 108. How to talk so your teen will listen (plus lay the groundwork for this when they're little) with Elizabeth Bennett
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
-
The difference between executive function coaching and academic tutoring, and how to decide which is right for your child.
-
Practical systems and routines (like planners, folders, and structured study spaces) that you can implement yourself to help your child stay on top of assignments.
-
How to co-create routines and systems with your child that build independence and make them more likely to stick with it.
-
When to consider a neuropsychological evaluation for your child—and how identifying whether challenges stem from ADHD, learning differences, or executive functioning deficits can help you target the right supports to strengthen their skills.
-
How parents can support their child without overwhelming them or stretching family resources too thin.
Understanding the difference between executive function coaching and tutoring can make all the difference in getting your child the support they truly need. This episode will help you feel confident and informed as you decide what’s right for your family.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔹 If your child struggles with organization, planning, or follow-through, executive function support can make a huge difference. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer in-person and virtual coaching nationwide. Visit upshurbren.com/executive-function-coaching to learn more or schedule a free consult call to find the right support for your child.
🔹 Wondering if a Neuropsychological Evaluation could help clarify your child’s challenges? Visit upshurbren.com/neuropsychological-testing to learn more about the services we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group, or schedule a quick, free call to talk through your child’s unique needs and explore the best next steps.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a Neuropsych Evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how technology in schools impacts learning, child development, and mental health with Andy Liddell
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me is Dr. Stephen Porges, one of the most influential voices in modern neuroscience and the creator of Polyvagal Theory, the framework that has transformed how we understand safety, connection, and emotional regulation.
Together we explore:
-
How Polyvagal Theory emerged and how it builds upon attachment theory to explain our biological need for safety and connection.
-
The science behind our “gut feelings,” and how the body reflexively detects safety and threat in our environment.
-
Why hypersensitivities can cause us to misread others’ intentions and what this reveals about our own physiological state.
-
Why thinking in circular patterns rather than cause-and-effect can transform how we interpret behavior.
-
Why so many parenting strategies fall flat when a child’s nervous system is in a defensive state, and practical ways to reshape these moments to be more effective.
-
The hopeful truth that the nervous system is flexible and how “retuning” it can repair patterns of stress and disconnection.
Dr. Porges’s groundbreaking research offers a powerful new lens for understanding the human condition, revealing how our nervous system shapes behavior and influences the way we relate to our children, our partners, and ourselves. At its core, it’s a reminder that beneath all our words and actions lies a shared biological need to feel safe, seen, and connected.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/
🔗 https://www.whatisthessp.com/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
📚 Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us by Stephen W. Porges PhD and Seth Porges
🎧 Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges
👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Parenting highly sensitive kids: Helping “Big Reactors” learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner
🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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How to stay connected to your older children while caring for a baby in the NICU.
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Why consistency, rituals, and transitional objects can help kids feel secure when routines are disrupted.
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Creative ways to maintain a sense of closeness, even when you can’t physically be present.
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How to involve siblings in bonding with the new baby from afar.
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Why it’s okay to give yourself grace and lean on support systems during this stressful time.
If you’ve ever worried about balancing the needs of multiple children during a family crisis, this episode offers compassionate guidance and practical strategies to help your older kids feel loved, supported, and secure—even when life pulls you in different directions.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🎧NICU Survival Guide with the founders of NICU Nook, Dr. Stephanie Simon and Amanda Neilan
📚 Growing Families: Helping Children Cope with a New Sibling
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how "mom brain" can be our greatest strength, not our biggest weakness with Dr. Nicole Pensak
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing birth trauma with Dr. Sterling
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about maternal health and Internal Family Systems with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, OT and interoception expert Kelly Mahler uncovers the 8th sense and dives into how interoception plays such a foundational role in children’s ability to regulate their bodies, emotions, and behaviors.
Together, we discuss:
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What interoception is and how it impacts everything from toileting and eating to emotional regulation and social connection.
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Why some kids struggle to notice or interpret their body’s signals and how this can show up as meltdowns, anxiety, or difficulties with attention.
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Practical, relational strategies parents can use at home to help kids strengthen interoceptive awareness through play, modeling, and curiosity.
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How occupational therapy can support children’s sensory and emotional development beyond (spoiler: it's more than improving just handwriting or fine motor skills).
If you’ve ever wondered why your child seems to go from 0 to 100 in seconds, or why calming strategies don’t always seem to “stick,” this conversation will give you new insights and tools to help your child build lifelong regulation skills from the inside out.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.kelly-mahler.com/
📚 The Interoception Curriculum
📱 Join the Interoception: The Eighth Sensory System Facebook Group
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱 @kelly_mahler
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about emotion regulation during the middle years with Alyssa Blask Campbell
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sensory sensitivity with The OT Butterfly Laura Petix
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about polyvagal theory with Seth Porges
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Are there different “rules” when disciplining kids with a neurodiverse condition, like autism, if they act aggressively toward your child?
- The difference between protecting your child and overstepping another parent’s role.
- Practical, respectful ways to set boundaries with kids who aren’t yours.
- How to manage playdates so everyone feels safe, supported, and set up for success.
- Why parents’ “thresholds” for conflict differ, and how to navigate those differences with compassion.
- The value of open communication (with other parents and your own child) in tricky social dynamics.
If you’ve ever found yourself unsure about intervening when someone else’s child crosses a line, this episode offers clear guidance, empathy, and strategies to help you respond with confidence while keeping all kids safe
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that’s right for your family.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment in your child's peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodivergent brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me is Ash Brandin, educator and author of Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family. Ash brings a fresh, nonjudgmental perspective to how families can navigate technology with intention and respect.
Together we explore:
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Why the “less is better” approach to screens often creates guilt and power struggles, plus a strategy that is more effective.
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How to use Ash’s “ABCs of screen time” framework (access, behavior, and content) to make intentional choices that meet everyone’s needs.
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The importance of respect and collaboration in setting screen boundaries (and boundaries in general) which help kids learn to be active participants, not passive rule-followers.
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How video games are a form of play that, used intentionally, can build autonomy, resilience, and connection.
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Practical strategies to help kids notice their internal states, regulate emotions, and transfer those skills beyond screens.
Whether you’re navigating video games, phones, or family movie nights, this conversation offers practical tools and a compassionate perspective to help your whole family build a healthier relationship with technology.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.thegamereducator.com/
📚 Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family
📚 The Gamer Educator Substack
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@thegamereducator
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 I’m so excited to be partnering with PokPok to offer you an exclusive discount. You’ll get 25% off, plus a 7-day free trial to see how it works for your family. Go to drsarahbren.com/pokpok and introduce your child to screen time that feels more like playtime.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about regulation and screen time with Alé Duarte
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about EdTech with Andy Liddell
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how smartphones really affect kids’ mental health with Dr. Wendy Rote
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about battling over screen time with The Screentime Consultant Emily Cherkin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Why your child may not calm down, even when you lead with empathy and connection.
- How to redefine what it means for a strategy to “work” in the heat of the moment.
- The role of patience and presence when your child’s nervous system just isn’t ready to shift.
- Why successful co-regulation doesn’t always mean a calm child.
- How to disengage without disconnecting—and why that can sometimes be the most effective approach.
- Practical ways to support yourself so you can stay regulated when your child isn’t.
If you’ve ever tried "all the right things" and still found yourself stuck with a child who can’t calm down, this episode will help you feel validated, supported, and grounded in what you can (and can’t) control.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology of dysregulation with Cara Goodwin
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising emotionally resilient children with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Parenting in the middle years (ages 5–12) comes with big feelings, new social pressures, and challenges parents don’t always see coming. Alyssa Blask Campbell, author of the new book, Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, joins me this week to unpack the emotional, social, and developmental shifts of the middle years.
Together we explore:
- The ninth sense: neuroception. How this rarely talked about sense shapes kids’ feelings of safety, belonging, and regulation.
- What it means to support kids based on their unique nervous system and sensory profile (and why one-size-fits-all strategies don’t work).
- How to replace control with curiosity to strengthen connection and reduce conflict.
- The role of social belonging, identity, and “fitting in” during the elementary years—and why what feels small to us can feel huge to them.
- Practical tools for navigating anxiety, dysregulation, and big feelings in ways that foster resilience and confidence.
Big kids really do have bigger feelings—and this episode will leave you with fresh insights, concrete strategies, and a sense of clarity as you support your child through these transformative years.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.seedandsew.org/
🎧 Listen to the Voices of your Village podcast
🤔 Take the Seed and Sew Regulation Questionnaire - seedquiz.com
📚Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children
📚 Big Kids, Bigger Feelings: Navigating Defiance, Meltdowns, and Anxiety to Raise Confident, Connected Kids
🎧 140. How understanding our child's sensory sensitivities can help us strength their emotional intelligence with Alyssa Blask Campbell
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@seed.and.sew
📱@drsarahbren
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Polyvagal Theory and using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding sensory sensitivities with occupational therapist Laura Petix
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
🎧Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Why intentionality and authenticity are the most important tools when building new relationships with kids.
- How to manage nerves, regulate your own emotions, and follow the children’s lead so the interaction feels natural and comfortable.
- Practical strategies for structuring the first meeting (think short, sweet, semi-structured, and supervised) to set everyone up for success.
- How to consider the larger family context, including co-parenting dynamics and whether a conversation with the children’s dad could be helpful.
- Why keeping expectations realistic and aiming simply for “they’d like to see me again” can take the pressure off and allow genuine connection to grow over time.
Whether you’re stepping into a blended family yourself, supporting a partner who is, or just curious about how kids adjust to new relationships, this episode offers insight, validation, and practical takeaways to make those first meetings a little less daunting—and a lot more positive!
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Interested in joining a weekly virtual support group for women navigating divorce? Led by an experienced therapist, this group offers a safe space to process emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. To learn more or join the waitlist, visit upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to see if this group is the right fit for you.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting myths about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to navigate divorce or separation while prioritizing secure attachment with Una Archer
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether or not you want to choose to “nest” during separations
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me is Dr. Stuart Ablon, a psychologist, Harvard Medical School professor, founder and director of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and author of several books, including Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work.
Together we explore:
- Why kids’ struggles are more about lagging skills than lack of motivation.
- The importance of empathy, co-regulation, and relationship-building in reducing conflict.
- The 3 “plans” parents can choose from when kids aren’t meeting expectations—and how to use them effectively.
- How Collaborative Problem Solving offers a structured yet compassionate alternative to “tough love” or “gentle parenting.”
- Practical ways to use this approach proactively and in the heat of the moment.
- How practicing this method not only improves behavior, but also fosters resilience, flexibility, and stronger parent–child bonds.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or clinician, this conversation offers practical tools and a fresh perspective to help you support kids with understanding, structure, and collaboration
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.stuartablon.com/
🔗 https://thinkkids.org/
📚 Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work
💻 Tedx Talk
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@thinkkidscps
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Dr. Ablon has generously shared an amazing parenting resource with us. Visit https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ and use Code: SecurelyAttached to get access to this course for ✨FREE✨ Available in both English and Spanish.
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I’ll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
📚 The Explosive Child: A New Approach For Understanding And Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 328. The neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids: Supporting your child’s emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist
🎧24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin
🎧06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
🎧318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- How to step back and figure out if (and when!) you’re interfering in your child’s play.
- Practical strategies to set up your home environment so independent play can actually thrive.
- The surprising “sweet spot” number of toys that leads to longer, more engaging play.
- What a “yes space” is—and how it can support your child’s growth through play.
- How to set realistic expectations, and what to do if you’re looking for a balance between being fully uninvolved and slightly engaged.
- The difference between “alone play” and “independent play.”
- What are the best toys and activities that actually encourage independent play (and how to tell if a toy is worth it).
- The developmental tasks by age that you can lean on to foster longer stretches of play.
If you’ve ever wondered how to encourage your child to play on their own (without guilt, overwhelm, or resorting to endless screen time), this episode is packed with perspective, validation, and practical tools to help you get there.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🔗 RAD Furniture (R.A.D. Children's Furniture) - Dr. Sarah's favorite place to get Pikler triangles and other play furniture for incouraging gross motor development
🔗 MakeDo – Dr. Sarah's go-to birthday gift, open-ended construction tools (screws, saws, screwdrivers, etc.) for building
🔗 Magna-Tiles – Both Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily's kids love these magnetic building tiles (pro tip: put a bin with these on the floor to make them easier for kids to access on their own!)
🔗 Doctor’s Kit Play Set, Vet's Kit Play Set, and Cleaning Play Set - Toys that help them play with and work through concepts from their own life
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering the question, is there a wrong way to encourage independent play?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering independent play with The Workspace for Children's Lizzie Assa
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of play with Jennie Monness
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to use a RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) approach in your parenting with Janet Lansbury
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the importance of play for adults and using it as a tool to prevent burnout with Mike Rucker
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Most of us got the puberty talk—but almost no one got the menopause talk. It’s time to change that. And Dr. Lauren Streicher is here this week to do just that!
Together we explore:
- Why menopause is a whole-body experience, not just “hot flashes and periods stopping.”
- What perimenopause actually is, when it starts, and why the definition of menopause itself is outdated.
- How mood changes, anxiety, and sleep issues are often hormone-driven—and why SSRIs aren’t always the right first step.
- Why shame and secrecy around menopause and sexuality have left so many women in the dark.
- How to talk to our daughters (and sons!) about the full reproductive life cycle from puberty through menopause, without stigma or shame.
- The difference between misinformation online and evidence-based solutions—and red flags to watch for when seeking care.
- What questions to ask your doctor to know if they’re truly menopause-informed.
- Why preparing before symptoms begin can empower women to feel confident, validated, and supported in midlife and beyond.
Menopause is so much more than the stereotypes we’ve been taught and this episode will leave you with clarity, tools, and a sense of empowerment to navigate this transition with confidence.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.drstreicher.com/
📚 https://drstreicher.substack.com/
🎧 Dr. Streicher’s Inside Information: Menopause, Midlife, and More
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@drstreich
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🔗 https://menopause.org/
📚 https://vajenda.substack.com/
📚 https://drstreicher.substack.com/p/cherry-picking
👉 Are you navigating the emotional or identity shifts that come with menopause—or any of life’s big transitions? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we specialize in helping women feel grounded, supported, and empowered during times of change. Whether you’re struggling with mood, identity, relationships, or simply the uncertainty of “what’s next,” we’re here to help. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧226. Pelvic care, energetic healing, and body wisdom: Taking a holistic approach to women's health with Tami Lynn Kent
🎧 80. How a sex therapist strives to raise her children to be sex positive: Unpacking developmentally appropriate expectations, boundaries, body autonomy, and consent with Dr. Holly Richmond
🎧36. Maternal mental health throughout pregnancy and parenthood with birth doula Carson Meyer
🎧150. Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Whether it’s developmentally normal for kids to start asking about death—even when there hasn’t been a recent loss.
- How much our own histories with grief, trauma, and cultural beliefs shape the way we respond when those questions come up.
- Why using euphemisms like “went to sleep forever” or unclear statements like "passed away" may actually create more anxiety for children instead of comfort.
- How to find the balance between honesty and reassurance when the questions feel bigger than the answers.
- Why kids sometimes ask the same hard questions over and over—and what they might really be seeking.
- What to make of it when a child doesn't seem to feel the weight and seriousness of death.
If your child has ever asked “Are you going to die?” and left you speechless, this episode offers perspective, validation, and concrete tools to help you navigate these profound conversations with calm and compassion.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Are you coping with grief and loss, or looking for parenting support to help you navigate tough conversations like the ones we discussed in this episode? Visit upshurbren.com to learn about the therapy and coaching services at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or CLICK HERE to schedule a free call to connect with a member of our care team about your family’s unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to Part 1 and Part 2 of my podcast episodes about navigating conversations about death with Rabbi Steve Leder
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing death with death doula Heather Hogan
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting a grieving child with Dr. Dan Wolfson Y
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Claire Lerner joins me to talk about how we can best support “big reactors” — highly sensitive children who experience the world with heightened intensity, passion, and emotion.
Together we explore:
- Why trying to “change” a child often backfires — and why shifting our own approach can spark real change.
- How to recognize when your child’s explosive behavior is driven by overwhelm, rigidity, or a need for control.
- The difference between masking and thriving, and why kids may act very differently at home than at school.
- What it means to be your child’s “rock” during meltdowns and how to hold limits without fueling the fire,
- How to create structure and predictability that helps sensitive kids feel safe and more flexible.
- Why consistency matters more than quick results — and what to expect before things get better.
- Practical, real-life strategies for navigating transitions, setting boundaries, and reducing daily battles.
Whether you’re parenting a highly sensitive child or you just want to strengthen your connection and reduce the chaos at home, this conversation will give you validation, hope, and tangible tools to help your child — and your whole family — thrive.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/
📚 Big Reactors: Practical Strategies for Parenting Highly Sensitive Children
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱 @lernerchilddevelopment
📱 @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.
👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child?
🎧 135. Q&A: What can I do when all the "rules" for setting limits don't work for my sensitive kid?
🎧 173. Q&A: Preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Why sleep challenges often emerge around age 3 (Hint: developmental leaps, dropped naps, and growing imaginations all play a role).
- How to differentiate between bedtime battles, middle-of-the-night wake-ups, and nightmares—and why the strategies might look different for each.
- Practical ways to set limits and routines with confidence so kids feel safe and contained, rather than running the show.
- Special considerations for twins, including when it might make sense to separate them temporarily at night.
- How to care for yourself as a parent during exhausting phases, so you can show up with more calm and confidence.
If bedtime has turned into a nightly struggle in your home, this episode offers validation, perspective, and concrete tools to help everyone get a little more rest.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
😴 Struggling with toddler bedtime battles? Download my ✨FREE✨ Toddler Sleep Guide with 7 concrete strategies backed by peer-reviewed research and anecdotally tested in my own practice, that you can implement with your children today to turn your bedtime struggles into solutions.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using your attachment relationship to help your toddler fall asleep with Eileen Henry
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting multiples with Kristin Revere
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Family law attorney and certified divorce financial analyst Lisa Zeiderman joins me to talk about how parents can navigate separation, divorce, and custody decisions with clarity, confidence, and a focus on their child’s well-being.
Together we explore:
- The different legal pathways for separation and divorce (including mediation, collaborative law, and litigation) and how to determine which may be right for your family.
- Common dynamics that can make self-advocacy harder, such as power imbalances, high-conflict relationships, or emotional manipulation.
- What it means to “foster” a relationship between your child and their other parent—and why courts prioritize this.
- How to set your child up for emotional success, even when the co-parenting relationship is strained.
- Tangible behaviors that courts (and kids!) recognize as supporting healthy co-parenting.
- Ways to support your child’s sense of voice and agency throughout the process—whether that’s through therapy, routines, or even court-appointed advocates.
- Resources and recommendation of support systems and products that can help parents co-parent more effectively.
Whether you're already in the thick of it or just starting to consider what the future may hold, this conversation offers guidance and grounding for navigating family transitions with thoughtfulness and care.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://lisazeiderman.com/
📚 https://lisazeiderman.com/blog/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for women to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more.
🔗 Our Family Wizard - The leading app for more peaceful co‑parenting
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 42. Busting divorce myths and breaking down the true affect it has on children: A conversation with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
🎧 322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer
🎧 277. Q&A: Is “nesting” during a divorce better for your kids?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Whether or not to address a racial slur your child heard in a song when you're not sure whether or not they picked up on it, and fear you may call attention to it unnecessarily.
- How to explain the difference between swearing and slurs, and the importance of giving kids context and language around both.
- Dr. Rebecca shares stories of how similar topics have come up in her own family and how she handled them with her kids.
- Why just saying "don't say it" can miss the mark for kids.
- The role of tone, timing, and developmental stage when introducing complex and sensitive topics.
- How to make it feel safe to make mistakes and learn from them
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child is swearing
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting styles across cultures with Dr. Miguelina German
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Becoming a grandparent is a major shift and yet, it’s rarely talked about in a way that honors the complexity of this role. In this episode, I’m joined by Carol Merle-Fishman to explore the emotional, psychological, and relational shifts that occur when someone becomes a grandparent and how this transition can impact the entire family system.
Together we unpack:
- Why grandparenthood is actually a developmental stage of its own.
- How expectations, unspoken grief, and shifting identities can create tension or disconnection in relationships.
- Ways adult children can support their parents and in-laws through the grandparenting transition and how grandparents can honor and respect their children's wishes.
- How to set boundaries with empathy and clarity while nurturing strong multigenerational bonds.
- The importance of emotional reflection for grandparents navigating this new chapter of life.
Whether you're preparing to become a grandparent, are already in this role, or are a parent looking to better understand and support the grandparents in your life, this episode will offer a compassionate and practical lens for navigating this powerful and often overlooked transition.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://carolmerlefishman.com/
🎧 104. Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle Fishman
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Becoming a grandparent can bring up big emotions and big questions. Go to upshurbren.com/becomingagrandparent to download my free interactive workbook, Reflecting on Grandparenthood, to help you process the identity shifts, set healthy boundaries, and navigate this transition with clarity, compassion, and confidence. Or forward this episode along to the grandparents in your life.
🔗 https://www.morethangrand.com/
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 89. Fostering deep and meaningful relationships: How to resolve conflict, prioritize our needs, and set appropriate boundaries with Dr. Rick Hanson
🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 52. Setting boundaries with your parents and in-laws: Navigating family dynamics with Dr. Emily Upshur
🎧 279. Q&A: How can I maintain a relationship with my mom who has extremist political views?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- What to do if your child is assigned a teacher whose style may not seem like the best match.
- How to advocate for your child in a way that supports collaboration and avoids conflict.
- Why starting the school year with a proactive email to the teacher can set the tone for a strong partnership.
- The surprising benefits a strict or “old school” teacher might actually offer sensitive kids.
- How to prepare your child to advocate for themselves, build resilience, and navigate new classroom dynamics.
- What to do if things don’t go as hoped—and how to intervene effectively if your child truly isn’t thriving in the classroom.
If you’re feeling anxious about the upcoming school year and unsure how to support your child through a potentially tricky teacher match, this episode will help you feel more grounded, empowered, and ready to approach it with openness and confidence.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Do you have a sensitive child? Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.
👉🏻 Learn more about how a one-time or short-term parenting coaching session at Upshur Bren Psychology Group can help you navigate back-to-school transitions, teacher mismatches, and other challenges. You can also schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family’s unique needs by going to upshurbren.com/calendar.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what it feels like to be a 10-year-old going back to school
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child refuses to go to school
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Psychiatrist, author, and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre joins me to talk about how we can help kids—especially emotionally sensitive ones—understand, process, and reframe internalized messages of self-criticism and even self-hatred.
Together we explore:
- Why even well-loved and supported kids can develop a sense of being “unlovable”
- How emotional sensitivity can make children more vulnerable to misattunement, comparisons, and internalized shame
- The difference between skills-based therapy (like DBT) and addressing the deeper emotional roots of suicidality and self-loathing
- What parents can do in the “before, during, and after” of tough parenting moments to promote co-regulation and connection
- Why simply telling a child they are wonderful may backfire—and what to say instead
- How to recognize if your child is living in a distorted self-narrative, and how to gently interrupt that cycle
- Practical strategies for helping kids build emotional awareness, distress tolerance, and a more compassionate self-concept
- Why your own nervous system regulation is essential—and how DBT teaches us to regulate before we reflect
Whether your child is currently struggling with self-esteem or you just want to shore them up now to minimize this risk in the future, this episode will leave you with powerful insights and tangible tools for helping them feel seen, supported, and deeply understood.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.mcleanhospital.org/treatment/3east
📚 I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You
📚 DBT For Dummies
📚 DBT Workbook For Dummies (For Dummies: Learning Made Easy)
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 27. What do you do when your child says “I’m stupid,” “I hate myself,” “I’m a bad kid,” or worse?
🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child?
🎧 316. Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer
🎧 318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud
🎧 307. Q&A: My toddler is so sensitive that even when I’m being silly with him, he loses it. What can I do?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Regardless of whether your child is experiencing sensory sensitivities or anxiety, our goal is the same - helping you define exactly what that goal is.
- Where do anxiety and sensory sensitivities overlap? (Spoiler: A lot of this boils down to nervous system regulation.)
- How you can help your child understand what their unique triggers are and the tools and strategies that can help them navigate these without so much distress.
- What to consider to help you if it’s time for an intervention, like occupational therapy, parenting support, individual therapy for your child.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it’s the right fit for your family.
🔗 https://www.spacetreatment.net/
📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety & OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child's hitting might be a sign of aggression or sensory seeking
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Kristen Lindquist joins me for a fascinating conversation about how children develop emotional regulation — and how we as parents can support that growth not just through what we say, but how and when we say it.
Together we explore:
- Why the ability to feel and name emotions is something children build slowly over time — and what role parents play in that process.
- What neuroscience reveals about how the brain develops emotional literacy from infancy through adolescence (and even into adulthood!)
- How emotion regulation is like a “software update” that builds on the brain’s existing “hardware.”
- Why the timing of emotional teaching matters — and how to use the “before” and “after” moments (not the meltdowns themselves!) for the most impact.
- How tools like play, books, and nonverbal attunement can build emotional awareness without overwhelming sensitive or avoidant kids.
- The role of interoception — our sense of internal bodily cues — in helping kids (and adults) understand and manage what they feel.
If you’ve ever tried to label your child’s feelings mid-tantrum and been met with more screaming, or felt unsure how to help your child build real coping tools, this episode will help you take a science-backed, developmentally informed approach that fosters connection and long-term resilience.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.kristenalindquist.com/
🔗 https://psychology.osu.edu/people/lindquist.83
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my ✨FREE✨ guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!
👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills so you can get back to enjoying parenthood? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin
🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- How to prepare a toddler for a parent’s surgery or temporary physical limitations in a way that is honest, concrete, and not scary.
- Creative, developmentally appropriate ways to help your child understand and process upcoming changes to routines—like playtime, bedtime, or physical closeness.
- The power of play, role-playing with toys, and using analogies to help kids grasp abstract concepts.
- What to expect behaviorally from your child during your recovery and strategies for responding to potential regressions or increased irritability.
- How to reframe this period as a chance to foster independence and pride in your child while still maintaining connection.
- The surprising importance of shifting focus to what you still can do with your child, and how to create new, meaningful rituals during a difficult time.
- Why prioritizing your own healing—both physically and emotionally—is one of the most supportive things you can do for your child.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to understand toddlerhood with the authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to tell your toddler you're pregnant
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about telling your toddler about a miscarriage
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Chelsea Skaggs is here to talk about how couples can keep your romantic relationship strong as you move beyond from early stages of survival mode deeper into parenthood.
Together we explore:
- How the demands of parenting shift as your children grow, and what that means for your romantic connection.
- Tips for getting your partner on board if only one of you feels ready to work on deepening your connection.
- Simple and practical strategies for attuning to your partner and "reading" the room for your best chance of success feeling a deepened connection.
- Navigating mismatched energy levels and intentions so bids for connection aren’t thwarted.
- A power tool anyone can implement right away that can be help you to break out of reactive patterns.
- How your own nervous system regulation can be a starting point for closeness, including what polyvagal theory teaches us about this.
- Addressing resentment as a signal of unmet needs—and how to get to the root rather than staying stuck in this toxic loop.
- Why it’s essential to focus on what’s within your control and give yourself permission to care for yourself, instead of blaming your partner for meeting their needs.
If you’re ready to move beyond just getting through the day and reconnect with your partner in a deeper way, this conversation is for you.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
🔗 https://www.postpartumtogether.com/
🎧 57. Sex after baby: How to reconnect and increase intimacy with your partner with Chelsea Skaggs
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 59. Sex after baby part II: When we want to want it but we're just touched out
🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 148. Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience, with Seth Porges
🎧 115. Q&A: Can you get stuck in a state of fight-or-flight?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- What you can do if you’re wondering: “Is my kid’s ADHD diagnosis real or do I have an active 10-year-old kid?”
- How to evaluate the accuracy of a diagnosis and what steps to take if you’re unsure or want a second opinion.
- Practical tools you can use to support your child—diagnosis or not.
- Strategies for becoming more aligned with your partner on how to handle parenting challenges and support your child's needs.
- What is a behavioral observation tracker, and how it can help you decide which interventions would be most helpful to use.
- The surprising truth about warmth and respect and why erring more on the side of warmth might actually be the key to creating change. (Want to learn more about parenting styles? Check out our episode on the benefits of authoritative parenting.)
- The parenting patterns we can become entrenched in, and a path forward to getting more on the same page.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a range of services including parenting coaching, neuropsychological evaluations, and ADHD-focused support groups for both kids and parents. Whether you're looking to better understand your child’s diagnosis, explore tools and strategies that actually work, or get on the same page with your co-parent, we’re here to help. Go to upshurbren.com or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neuropsych evaluations with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about connecting and supporting your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Clinical psychologist and author of the bestselling Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham joins me for a rich conversation about what peaceful parenting really means — and how it can help you set firm, loving limits while staying deeply connected to your child.
Together we explore:
-
Why connection, not control, is the true foundation of cooperation and emotional resilience.
-
What setting limits with empathy looks like in real life (and why it’s not the same as being permissive).
-
The surprising way laughter can help your child release built-up stress and unshed tears.
-
Practical tools to respond to big feelings like anger, sadness, and aggression — without adding more fuel to your child's fire.
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Why behaviorism often oversimplifies how kids learn and grow and what advances in neuroscience reveal are how humans actually learn best.
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Why the goal of parenting isn’t perfectly calm, compliant kids — but helping them build the neural wiring for lifelong emotional regulation.
If you’ve ever felt torn between being “too strict” or “too soft,” or overwhelmed by the endless parenting advice out there, this episode will help you zoom out, get grounded, and focus on what really matters for your child — and for you.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
📚 https://www.peacefulparenthappykids.com/
📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting
📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using Mindfulness and Connection to Raise Resilient, Joyful Children and Rediscover Your Love of Parenting
📚 Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Go to drsarahbren.com/discipline to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!
👉🏻 Go to drsarahbren.com/bethecalm for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 39. Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach: Q&A with Dr. Emily Upshur
🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
🎧 234. Parenting with the “Whole-Brain”: How to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- How to find the grey space in your parenting choices and how black and white thinking can be a sign of your own anxiety and overwhelm.
- The difference between being wishy-washy and intentionally shifting your strategy.
- How to use “love and limits” to navigate situations that may feel overwhelming to your child.
- Why these activities may be more difficult for kids during the summer than during the school year, and how to factor in some of the tools you may not even have known were in place during the year.
- What it means to “shrink a kid’s world” and how parents can do that while still stretching their kid just enough.
- How parents can help determine which activities to push your child to do and which to pull back from.
- Why it might be harder for you to enforce boundaries during the summer, and a helpful mindset shift you can use to feel more comfortable with your choices.
- How you can build your child’s social skills and strengthen their emotional intelligence.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties are so triggering for some kids
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about encouraging shy children without making them feel bad about it
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Una Archer joins me for a thoughtful conversation about how to help children feel safe, secure, and resilient in the face of their parents' separation or divorce.
Together we explore:
- Why there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to separation, even among siblings, and why tuning into each child’s unique needs matters.
- What the Circle of Security framework is and how it can be used to support children’s attachment during major family transitions.
- The three core emotional needs that children rely on to feel secure, and how parents can meet these needs in everyday moments (check the show notes for a helpful visual!).
- How to separate your own trauma and fears from your child’s experience so you can truly see and respond to them without projection.
- Why allowing more time and slowness during transitions isn’t a setback, but an important part of healing and connection.
- The power of rupture and repair in relationships and practical ways parents can engage in repair after conflict or misunderstanding.
- How different family structures after separation—sometimes two distinct family systems—can be healthy depending on what your family needs.
- Navigating the challenges of co-parenting, including managing handoffs and stepping back when it’s not your parenting time.
If you’re looking for compassionate, practical guidance on fostering secure attachment for your children through big changes, this conversation is full of insights and tools you won’t want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
- https://www.helpyourchildthrive.co.uk/
- The Separated Parent's Guide to Attachment: 3 Steps Towards Emotional Security
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for woemen to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 https://drsarahbren.com/42-busting-divorce-myths-and-breaking-down-the-true-effect-it-has-on-children-a-conversation-with-michelle-dempsey-multack
🎧 277. Q&A: Is “nesting” during a divorce better for your kids?
🎧 280. Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho
🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- When your child says “I’m bored” does that actually mean they are? How to decode their language to get to the root of their struggles.
- What is a developmentally appropriate amount of time parents can expect of their children to play independently?
- What is a “bored list” and a “bored box” and how can you create these tools to help with the summer slump.
- How self-regulation and executive functioning play a part in your child’s feelings of boredom and how understanding this can help you scaffold more effectively.
- How to use a few minutes of connection time as a bridge into helping your child become engrossed in an activity on their own.
- A trick for determining if your child may just need help getting started with an activity, especially when going into a new environment or situation, like a park, pool, or playground.
- In our highly stimulating world, kids can express feeling bored when things are a bit slower. How to off-set this to find more balance.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how screens affect regulation with Ale Duarte
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can encourage independent play
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help your child maintain their friendships over the summer
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
New York Times bestselling author, therapist, and social philosopher Michael Gurian joins me for a fascinating conversation about the brain science behind why boys and girls often need different things—and how understanding these differences can help us raise emotionally healthy, resilient kids.
Together we explore:
- The difference between sex and gender.
- Why boys’ brains often orient more toward spatial and kinesthetic activities, and how this shapes the way they bond and communicate.
- The surprising brain-based reason empathy often comes more easily to girls than boys and how to nurture empathy in boys.
- How school systems unintentionally disadvantage boys and practical things parents can do at home to help them thrive.
- Why “use your words” doesn’t always work for boys—and how to support emotional expression in more body-based, multisensory ways.
- The crucial distinction between healthy aggression and violence and why rough-and-tumble play can actually build resilience and connection.
- How maternal and paternal nurturing styles differ and how each uniquely supports children's development.
- How understanding these biological and developmental differences can help reduce conflict, build trust, and support each child’s unique strengths.
If you’re curious about what neuroscience can teach us about the different ways boys and girls develop, connect, and express themselves—and how this understanding can help you parent more effectively—this episode is filled with research-based insights and practical tools you won’t want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
👉🏻 https://www.michaelgurian.com/
📚 Boys, A Rescue Plan: Moving Beyond the Politics of Masculinity to Healthy Male Development
🎧 Wonder of Parenting - A Brain-Science Approach to Parenting
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 214. Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman
🎧 286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein
🎧 149. Q&A: How to answer your kid's questions about gender
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- What “scaffolding” and “accommodations” actually mean, where they differ, and where they overlap.
- Why the exact same parenting move can either build your child’s confidence or unintentionally undermine your intentions, and the simple trick to figure out which one you're doing!
- How your child’s discomfort plays a role in how you respond to them, and the important information that can reveal to us as parents.
- A real-life example of the difference between scaffolding versus over-accommodating when you have a child with social anxiety - a helpful framework for what to do and what to try to avoid doing.
- How scaffolding is specifically tied to skill-building, both emotionally and practically.
- Why your own bandwidth matters and how to balance consistency with realistic expectations.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it’s the right fit for your family.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting kids through fears with Jennie Monness
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about separation anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child, Dr. William Stixrud joins me for a powerful conversation about how we can raise confident, resilient kids by helping them feel a greater sense of control, without giving up our role as parents.
Together we explore:
- Why a low sense of control is one of the most stressful experiences a child (or adult) can have, and how we can support our kids in feeling more agentful in their lives.
- How secure attachment and autonomy are deeply connected—and why attachment must come first.
- What SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) is and how parents can use techniques from this modality whether your child has anxiety or not.
- Why Dr. Stixrud started saying “I love you too much to fight with you about homework” and how you can use this too to defuse power struggles and build internal motivation.
- Tips for how parents can more successfully respond to children's behaviors that they can’t control, like tantrums, hitting, or screaming.
- Why stepping in too often can interrupt neurological processes that help kids learn, adapt, and build resilience.
- How to support self-driven learning, encourage safe risk-taking, and build a foundation of mutual respect in your family.
If you're looking to reduce conflict and build more trust in your parent-child relationship, this conversation is filled with evidence-based insight and practical tools you won't want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
👉🏻 https://stixrud.com/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
📚 The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives
📚 What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home
📚 The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook
🎧 The Self-Driven Child Podcast
👉🏻 Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 72. Supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions space how a new treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD is revolutionizing care with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 146. The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 206. Picky eating, ARFID, and SPACE: How a new anxiety treatment can help your child be more flexible around food with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- What is the difference between attachment bonds and parental preferences?
- If your child shows you their most dysregulated behaviors, doesn’t listen to you, or is their messiest self with you, what these behaviors may reveal. (Spoiler: It’s a good sign!)
- If your child does have an insecure attachment to you, practical strategies and interventions you can use to start repairing your relationship.
- The difference between independent play and child led play, and how only one of these is used to help you improve your connection.
- Dr. Sarah’s 6-basics that all kids need before you can start developing a deeper bond with your child.
- How you can tap into your child's attachment security in other relationships to help you deepen your own bond to each other.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🤳 Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about children favoring one parent
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about attachment security in our early relationships with Dr. Alan Sroufe
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about breaking an insecure attachment cycle with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child loses it more with you than anyone else
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of using an authoritative approach to parenting
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! joins me to break down the most essential skills kids need to thrive in today's complicated times.
Together we explore:
- The three powerful themes Melinda saw again and again in her research and how you can tap into these to help you be more effective in your parenting.
- Practical and realistic ways to help kids feel truly seen and heard.
- How slowing down, staying curious, and fostering a growth mindset isn’t just for kids, but for parents too.
- The surprising power of guiding children to discover answers on their own—and how this can actually build critical neural circuitry in their brains
- A simple, impactful question you can ask your child to help them reflect and learn to trust their own judgment.
- The critical yet often overlooked role of self-compassion in mental health, and the three key components of self-compassion every parent should know.
- What it really means when kids say things like “I hate myself” or “I shouldn’t be part of this family,” and how to respond with empathy.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the pressures of modern parenting or worried about helping your child manage their feelings and decisions, this episode offers research-backed, actionable wisdom you won’t want to miss.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
✨ https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/
READ HER BOOKS:
📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times
📚 How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 252. Secure attachment and growth mindset: The science behind raising well-adjusted kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer
🎧 14. Motherhood as a millennial: Tuning out the noise and learning to find trust in ourselves with Marcella Kelson
🎧 268. A deep dive on parental burnout: What it is, why it happens, and how to overcome it
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Why potty training blends both physiological and psychological factors and how parents can wrap their head around both to best support your child.
- How parents can understand the biological-psychological feedback loop and how this can affect your child’s body and mind.
- How to get on the same page when there are multiple caregivers and providers who spend time with your child.
- Exactly what to be tracking to help you get to the root of the problem and how to determine if your responses are inadvertently perpetuating the challenges and anxiety your child may be experiencing.
- Taking a pause if you notice a regression can be helpful - but only for some kids and in some situations. How to know when a reset is appropriate and when you might not want to use this approach with your child.
- What parents can do to help a child become less fearful and more relaxed in the bathroom.
- What is interoceptive sensory input, and how can this be helpful to focus on and build for your child outside of the bathroom?
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Go to upshurbren.com to lean more about parenting coaching, therapy, and support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group. Or, click here to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to successfully potty train
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about potty training, constipation, bed-wetting, and pelvic health with Quiara Smith
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Sharon Itkoff Nacache is joining me to break down the myths and truths about art therapy—what it is, what it isn’t, and why creativity can be such a powerful tool for healing, integration, and resilience.
Together we explore:
- The common questions people have about art therapy, and how integrating creative arts into therapy can support emotional processing, integration, and healing.
- The difference between open studio models, art therapy, and art psychotherapy and how each can serve different therapeutic goals.
- How art can help us (and our kids) process overwhelming experiences that might feel too big or complex to articulate with words alone.
- Why the materials matter: How Sharon intentionally uses tools like dry or wet media to support different emotional states and how you can use these same principles in your own creative exploration.
- Why creative expression goes far beyond painting or drawing—how journaling, movement, or even doodling can become powerful tools to ground yourself in moments of stress or burnout.
- A simple yet powerful exercise Dr. Sarah uses with her clients to identify and reconnect with unmet needs that you can do too.
- What it means to build "creative resilience" and how it can help you access more joy, safe risk-taking, and a sense of internal flow.
- Sharon’s best strategies for those who feel creatively blocked or don’t consider themselves “artistic” and why you don’t need to be an artist to benefit from creative self-expression.
Whether you’ve been curious about art therapy or are simply looking for accessible ways to reconnect with yourself and find a sense of emotional grounding, this conversation is full of both inspiration and tangible takeaways.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
Co-Create Art Therapy
GET HER BOOK:
📚 The Days Before I Met You: A Creative Space Honoring the Birth of a Parent
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
📚 Your Brain on Art
📚 Art Therapy and Childbearing Issues
📚Art is a Way of Knowing
📚Therapeutic Arts in Pregnancy, Birth, and New Parenthood
👉🏻 Whitney Museum and NYC Health + Hospitals Arts in Medicine department
👉🏻 Postpartum Support International
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 33. How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with music therapist Vered
🎧 47. What we hold in our bodies: Unlocking emotions through dance and movement therapy with dr. Lori Baudino
🎧 240. Processing birth trauma: How to make sense of, heal, and move forward after a difficult birthing experience with Dr. Sterling
🎧 282. Beyond the 6-week checkup: A realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- There is no correlation between a baby who self-weans and the development of a secure attachment.
- You’re going to piss off your kids a lot… that's totally normal and doesn’t mean that they won’t form a strong and healthy attachment to you.
- It makes sense your child wants what feels good to them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that what they want is also what they need.
- Helpful Hint: When your child stops breastfeeding, there is often a period of time where they will eat less - and this can lead to more anxiety, especially if you are doing this because of concerns over their nutrition.
- Clothing choices, accessible snacks, and meal planning: Some practical tips for moms who are ready to stop breastfeeding.
- How to build your child’s distress tolerance and help them prepare for this big transition.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition by Ellyn Satter
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising healthy eaters with Amelia Sherry
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about picky eating and ARFID with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, I’m joined by cognitive psychologist and ADHD expert Eliza Barach to explore the brain-based differences that drive many of the challenges (and strengths!) that come with ADHD.
Together we cover:
- The neuroscience of an ADHD brain and why having this basic knowledge can be so impactful for your parenting!
- How understanding the roles of dopamine and norepinephrine are important aspects of understanding your child (or yourself!) with ADHD.
- Why people with ADHD are more vulnerable to all forms of addictions. And while our culture rewards some addictive behaviors (like workaholism) while condemning others, both can have negative impacts on your mental health.
- How to make transitions easier for your child with ADHD. (Want to learn more about this topic? Check out episode 295. How can I get my child with ADHD go from one activity to the next without a fight?)
- Specific and real-life strategies parents can implement to add more stimulation to boring tasks that will decrease the amount of fights and power struggles between you and your child.
- Why kids with ADHD are so prone to meltdowns and how pointing out the logic to your child in these hot moments can help lay the foundation for more self-regulation in the future. (But, only if you do so in the "right" way.)
- Activating your child’s Task Positive Network can be regulating for the nervous system—what parents can do to get this part of your child’s brain to turn on.
-
The failing of the system for diagnosis of ADHD, especially in girls and marginalized communities, and why getting a diagnosis is so vital for allowing proper support for a person’s unique strengths and challenges.
-
If you’ve ever wondered whether your child might have ADHD, felt unsure how to support them without constant conflict, or simply wanted to better understand their needs, this episode is packed with clarity, compassion, and expert insights you can put into practice right away.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
https://www.neural-revolution.com/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 How ADHD can impact driving
👉🏻 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Women and Girls: Uncovering This Hidden Diagnosis
👉🏻 Interested in learning more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's Parenting Your Child with ADHD 8-week virtual workshop series to empower parents of children, adolescents, and young adults with ADHD? Go to upshurbren.com/group-adhd or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 250. How to make mindfulness more “user-friendly” for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska
🎧 235. BTS: How can I prepare for an IEP or 504 meeting after my child receives an ADHD diagnosis?
🎧 178. ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell
🎧 131. Q&A: How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- How do you know when to encourage your child to stick with an activity versus when it’s okay to let them step away?
- Does your approach change if the activity is a team sport versus an individual activity?
- What are effective ways to talk to your partner about these concerns without triggering defensiveness or shutting down the conversation?
- How sibling dynamics along with parental expectations can influence a child’s interests and shape their developing identity.
- A helpful phrase you can use that may reduce some of the pressure and urgency, leading to lessened friction and tension between your partner and child.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality development with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether or not it's okay to let your child quit an activity
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating conflict in your relationship with Dr. Marina Rosenthal
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Wendy Rote is joining me to unpack some surprising and even counterintuitive findings about kids, smartphones, and social media. She and her team are in the middle of a groundbreaking longitudinal study following tweens over time, giving us rare insight into how technology is shaping the mental health and identity development of Generation Alpha.
Together we explore:
- Why the question “Is social media making kids depressed?” might be the wrong one to ask and what we should be asking instead.
- A finding that might shock you: Kids with smartphones actually show better physical and mental health outcomes in some key areas.
- What kind of social media behaviors are linked to more depressive symptoms and why it’s not as simple as “time spent online.”
- How compulsive checking could be a major mental health red flag that parents often miss.
- New, not-yet-published finding on the real impact school cell phone bans have been shown to have on kids.
- Why do some kids without phones actually report more cyberbullying and what that might reveal about exclusion and social dynamics?
- The one tech rule that makes the biggest difference in kids’ well-being that has a greater impact that time limits and parental control setting.
If you’ve ever worried about screen time, debated a phone ban, or felt unsure how to support your child’s relationship with tech, this conversation will give you fresh perspective, surprising data, and tangible guidance rooted in real research.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
👉🏻 Learn more about Dr. Wendy Rote's research on ResearchGate and Google Scholar
REVIEW THE STUDY:
📚 Life In Media Survey
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
📚 The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt
🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
MORE PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 264. The hidden dangers of EdTech: How technology in schools impacts learning, child development, and mental health with Andy Liddell
🎧 242. Have phones displaced our ability to play and have fun? How to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price
🎧 103. Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- It’s okay to set boundaries without needing to justify why you are setting them.
- How to communicate your boundaries to a friend or neighbor (with a sample script you can use!) to honor your needs without burning a bridge.
- Effective communication strategies and suggested responses for setting restrictions on allowing one of the neighborhood kids to come over uninvited - and how you can respond if your friends or neighbors pushes back.
- What if your neighbor sees that you let other kids come over unsupervised?
- A reminder that both the mom setting the boundary and the mom receiving it could benefit from hearing.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with family members
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Jennie Monness is joining me this week to break down the difference between developmentally normal (and healthy!) anxiety and signs that your child may need additional support—and how you can adjust your parenting approach to effectively support both.
Together we explore:
- Why our instinct to remove discomfort may actually make anxiety worse—and what to do instead.
- How to support children with separation anxiety, and the surprising stressors that often go unnoticed during transitions.
- Utilizing strategies to help your child feel more grounded, like routines, visual schedules, and previewing.
- The difference between information gathering and reassurance seeking behaviors in children - and how knowing this difference can impact which parenting tool you use to best support them.
- Dr. Sarah’s simple “anxiety formula” that helps you know exactly where to focus your support.
- How to get to the root of your child’s fear, when it isn’t so obvious to decode and identify for parents.
- Play therapy techniques and somatic work you can use to explore the fears that are hard for your child to talk about or that they are avoiding outside of playful environments.
Whether your child is anxious about school drop-off, starting something new, or just seems to struggle with big feelings, this conversation will help you feel more empowered to support them—without needing to rescue them from every hard emotion.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
- https://www.jenniemonness.com/
- https://www.unionsquareplay.com/
- https://charmspring.com/
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱 @jenniemonness
📱 @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- Beam : Breathwork + Meditation App
- Hatch Restore 3 light
MORE PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 3. The Wonders of Play: More Than Just a Way to Pass the Time with Jennie Monness
🎧 82. Tips for traveling with babies toddlers and children what every parent needs to hear before their family vacation begins with Jennie Monness
🎧 105. How RIE can evolve into lifelong respectful parenting: Growing your parenting approach as your child grows with Janet Lansbury
🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
🎧 72. Supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions space how a new treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD is revolutionizing care with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- What to do when your toddler spirals from silly to overstimulated in seconds.
- Unpacking the difference between dysregulation and high arousal—and why this distinction matters.
- Strategies parents can use to share joyful, silly and playful moment with your sensitive child without overwhelming them.
- If you stop being so silly and fun, is that over-accommodating and bowing down too much to your child without teaching them that they need to handle this?
- When these stimulation meltdowns happen, what you can do to recover.
- How you can build your child’s tolerance for the silliness while modulating the intensity to help you.
- How a playful response can also help move you out of a shame response.
- Is there a different strategy to use if this high arousal overwhelm comes from a more fun and silly moment versus you losing your cool and yelling?
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing dysregulated from positive emotions
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when you lose your cool with Dr. Cindy Hovington
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What if the way we talk about birth is shaping the way we experience it—before it even begins? Joining me to unpack this is journalist, professor, and author of Invisible Labor: The Untold Story of the Cesarean Section, Rachel Somerstein.
Together we explore:
- The hidden biases and ingrained language that shape how we view birth—why terms like "failure to progress" reinforce harmful narratives.
- Why flexibility is a powerful tool in birth and parenting—and why we so often slip into rigidity when we feel anxious or out of control.
- The societal pressure to “do birth right” and how it impacts a birthing person’s experience.
- The troubling reality of whose life we prioritize in birth and what that says about our values in America.
- Why do some births lead to trauma while others don’t? What the research reveals about the difference.
- The importance of preparing for a c-section—even if it’s not part of your birth plan—so that you feel safe and supported if it happens.
- Simple but impactful shifts that could make c-sections a more positive experience.
With 1 in 3 births resulting in a c-section, this is a conversation every birthing person deserves to hear. Tune in for a thought-provoking deep dive into the realities of modern birth and what we can do to reclaim agency in the process.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
👉🏻 https://www.rachelsomerstein.com/
📚 Invisible Labor: The Untold Story of the Cesarean Section and the Disturbing State of Maternal Medical Care
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL:
📱 IG: @rachelesomerstein & LinkedIn: Rachel Somerstein
📱 IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free interactive workbook, My Mental HealthPostpartum Checklist, that will help you create a personalized mental health support system for yourself allowing you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 240. Processing birth trauma: How to make sense of, heal, and move forward after a difficult birthing experience with Dr. Sterling
🎧 282. Beyond the 6-week checkup: A realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon
🎧 35. Rethinking the birth plan: How to create a plan with your OB/GYN that supports resilience and reduces anxiety during and after pregnancy with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
- What is the difference between sharing and taking turns from a developmental standpoint?
- When the validation of your child’s feelings doesn’t seem to work well–what to do instead.
- Why there actually is a form of grief as a part of the taking turns experience and a mindset shift you can use to feel compassion for that feeling (even if it feels completely ridiculous to you from an adult perspective!)
- Territoriality versus play challenges - unpacking the different skillsets needed for different types of turn-taking experiences.
- Games you can play to practice the skills required for taking turns.
- A reminder to parents that while this can feel high stakes, that intensity may inadvertently add to the dysregulation your child feels and cause them to dig their heels in more.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting kids to start sharing
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your toddler to do things they don't want to do
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a sensitve, "spicy" or highly emotional child
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, psychologist and author of The Crucial Years Dr. Sheryl Ziegler joins me to shine a light on the unique needs and challenges of raising 6-12 year olds - a period often overlooked in parenting conversations, despite being a period of massive emotional, social, and biological development.
Together we explore:
- Why puberty is starting younger than ever, what’s driving this trend, and how stress and environment play a critical role.
- How to tell when your child’s “teenage” behaviors (like slamming doors or talking back) are developmentally normal versus when they may be signaling something more.
- How to foster self-esteem and emotional regulation using Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages as a framework.
- What “industriousness” versus “inferiority” means for kids—and why understanding this distinction matters so much for healthy development.
- How parenting styles are being shaped by the internet, social norms, and cultural messaging—and how to stay grounded in what your individual child needs.
- Why the pandemic had a unique impact on kids in this age range and how that continues to show up in surprising ways.
- Actionable strategies for parents of middle-year kids, including emotional attunement, helping them name and understand nuanced feelings, and how to have brave conversations about tough topics.
With humor, warmth, and deep clinical insight, Dr. Ziegler offers a compassionate reminder that while the middle years may fly under the radar, they are foundational—and your presence during this time matters more than you think.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
👉🏻 https://drsherylziegler.com/
📚 The Crucial Years: The Essential Guide to Mental Health and Modern Puberty in Middle Childhood (Ages 6-12)
📚 Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process
🎧 Dr. Sheryl's PodCouch
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL:
📱 @drsherylziegler
📱 @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 May 2021 : Declaration of a National Emergency in Child and Adolescent Mental Health
👉🏻 Erik Erikson's Stages of Development
👉🏻 The Step-Father Effect
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 263. BTS: How do I respond to my daughter’s “mean girl” behaviors? Is she a bully?
🎧 How to handle peer rejection in early adolescence with Dr. Emily Upshur
🎧 238. Temperament, personality, and parenting: What you do (and don’t) have control over as a parent with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
- Not all school refusal looks the same. Learn how to recognize the different types and when it’s time to seek extra support.
- Understanding the science of anxiety and how these feelings can actually create physical symptoms like tummy aches or headaches.
- Strategies for getting to the root cause of what may be causing your child’s school refusal so you can address the actual source of the problem.
- What is "contagion anxiety” and how can this spread through classrooms and schools?
- When and how to have reflective conversations with your child that will help you form a clearer understanding of what is bothering them - with sample questions you can use to get you started.
- How to build your child’s distress tolerance and resiliency at a manageable rate, so they are able to cross this hurdle without fully shutting down.
- A quick primer on SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) and how this is a helpful approach for navigating your child’s anxiety.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal and anxiety with Dr. Erica Miller
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about challenging perfectionism and academic pressures
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE)Dr. Eli Lebowitz
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What if understanding how your child thinks and learns could completely change the way you support them—and help them thrive in the process? Dr. Yael Rothman and Dr. Katia Fredriksen of Neuropsych Moms are joining me this week to demystify neuropsychological evaluations and empower parents with the tools to better understand and advocate for their children.
- The surprising ways neuropsych testing can help unlock your child’s potential (hint: it’s not just about diagnoses).
- Why leaning into your child’s strengths matters—and how to do that without tipping into toxic positivity.
- The conversation around diagnosis that so many parents fear—and why not talking about it might actually be more harmful.
- The 3 questions to ask yourself to help you determine if you should get your child a neuropsych evaluation and what you can expect from the process once you've made the decision to move forward.
- Is there an ideal age for children to receive a neuropsych evaluation?
- The importance of connecting all your child's doctors and mental health providers and why so many parents don't know this is an option.
- Clearing up some of the most common myths and fears surrounding a diagnosis like ADHD and autism.
- Before you have a conversation with your child about their diagnosis, what parents should do first.
Whether you're wondering if a neuropsych evaluation is right for your child or you're looking for guidance after a diagnosis, tune in now to feel more confident and informed.
LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUESTS:
https://www.neuropsychmoms.com/
https://stixrud.com/staff/katia-fredriksen/
https://www.rothmanpediatricneuropsychology.com/
READ THEIR BOOKS:
📚 Different Thinkers: ADHD
📚 Different Thinkers: Autism
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL:
📱 @neuropsychmoms
📱 @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Private Insurers Must Now Cover Dyslexia Testing in New York
👉🏻 The Brain Building Books
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel
🎧 How to modify traditional sleep strategies for kids with neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
🎧 ADHD and attachment security with Dr. Norrine Russell
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
- Simple, effective emotion regulation strategies that actually work for 6-year-olds when disappointment over losing takes over—and how to use them in a way that feels supportive, not controlling.
- When to step in and what to say—a breakdown of the best parenting approaches before, during, and after a game to help your child manage big feelings in the moment (and build skills for the future).
- The secret to teaching good sportsmanship outside of game time—why some of the most powerful lessons happen when no one’s keeping score.
- How the exact same words you say to your child can be either validating and invading - and what makes the difference so you can avoid the latter.
- How to keep things fun while still building resilience—because not every moment needs to be a teaching moment (and knowing when to step back is just as important).
Unpacking the root drive of competitiveness in children so you know how to best channel this toward healthy and socially acceptable behaviors.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how positive emotions can dysregulate kids too
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding our child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising emotionally intelligent sons with Ruth Whippman
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
When your child has a chronic illness, it doesn’t just impact their physical health—it can touch every corner of their life and yours. But the signs that something deeper is going on aren’t always as obvious as you'd think. In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Kate Herts and I dive into the emotional, behavioral, and practical complexities of parenting a child with a chronic illness—from the confusing early symptoms to the long road toward diagnosis, and everything in between.
Together we explore:
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The surprising ways chronic illness can show up in children—sometimes with symptoms that seem completely unrelated.
-
It is understandable for parents of chronically ill children to become overly protective. We'll offer you strategies you can use to challenge this fear-based response so your child doesn’t internalize messages that they can’t do things independently
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What to do when your child is the one limiting themselves—and how to know when to step in.
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Navigating sibling dynamics, school absences, financial challenges, and some of the most common challenges that families with children with chronic illness face.
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What most of us get wrong when we try to prepare for an uncertain future—and how to shift into the here and now.
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How to balance supporting your medical child’s needs with fostering independence, confidence, and resilience.
Drawing from both her professional expertise and her own experience growing up with a chronic illness, Dr. Herts offers compassionate, actionable guidance for parents navigating this journey.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. KATE:
https://healthpsychny.com
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 260. Neurodiverse brains and sleep: How to modify traditional sleep strategies with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
🎧 213. Q&A: What's the best way to talk about my child's diagnosis with her and her sibling?
🎧 43. School refusal and anxiety: What parents can do to support their children with Dr. Erica Miller
🎧 72. Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE): How a new treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD is revolutionizing care with Dr. Eli Lebowitz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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It may be taboo to say, but it's very common for parents to feel more connected to one child than another.
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A sample script you can use with your kids to articulate the different types of relationship dynamics you have with each of them that will serve to actually strengthen your bond.
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Some kids require extra support which may lead to more friction in your relationship - how you can orient these kids to what connects you over what is more challenging about your relationship.
-
Why focusing on children’s strengths, especially children who are more sensitive or explosive, can be so crucial.
-
How you can form a stronger bond with a child who you may not naturally feel as easily connected to.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to respond if your child is favoring one parent
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the pressure to be a perfect mom with Gayane Aramyan
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What if small shifts in your awareness and energy could help you feel more connected, present, and empowered—not just as a parent, but as a whole person? Energy practitioner Stephanie Filardi is joining me this week to help us explore how being aligned and connected to yourself allows you to make choices that support not only your child’s mental health, but your own well-being, too. In this episode, we explore: * The difference between “woo-woo” energy healing and what research actually shows about the mind-body connection. * How we can direct our focus and beliefs to shift our energy and mindset. * Why no emotion is inherently bad—and how to work with difficult feelings, rather than against them, in yourself and your child. * What meditation can open up for you and how to use it practically in your parenting life. * What it really means to “accept what is”—and how this concept can reduce stress and increase clarity. * How our kids pick up on our energy (even when we don’t say a word). * What research reveals about how attention shapes our brain and behavior. * The ego’s role in pulling us out of alignment—and how to shift from control to connection. * A calming, grounding meditation you can return to anytime you feel overwhelmed.
If you’re craving more ease and alignment in your life and parenting, this episode is full of actionable insights that will help you shift out of burnout and into a more grounded, intentional way of being.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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What are sensory seeking and sensory inhibiting behaviors and drives?
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How you can determine whether your child’s "aggressive behaviors” are actually sensory seeking - and how this changes the interventions you use.
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Are these behaviors volitional? Our answer might surprise you!
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What to do if your child’s aggressive behaviors don’t seem to be fueled by a reaction to anything in the environment (aka, they hit the kid next to them seemingly out of nowhere.)
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The occupational therapy strategies that parents can use with your kids to activate their sensory input systems.
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Why helping kids understand themselves opens the door to allowing them to build their regulation toolkit.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sensory processing with occupational therapist Laura Petix
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your toddler to stop yelling when she is upset
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether some common parenting interventions might be making your child act more aggressively
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, the creator of AEDP, Dr. Diana Fosha, psychotherapist Karen Pando-Mars, and I dive into the science of healing attachment wounds and exploring how AEDP can help people create healthier patterns.
Together we explore:
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What exactly is AEDP, directly from the creator of this therapy modality herself
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Unpacking how and why attachment "styles" aren't as fixed as we often think, and may not even be the most accurate way of thinking about attachment security...and what actually is!
-
What the research reveals about repairing attachment ruptures and how to get through them in order to establish a secure attachment relationship.
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An exercise in reflective functioning and the types of things you can say to model and build this skill in your child.
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A trick for allowing yourself to stay in a feeling of discomfort or shame without immediately going straight to defensiveness.
-
What people with different attachment styles need to start to move more toward secure attachment.
Tune in for a discussion that will shift your perspective on attachment, healing, and the power of connection.
SHOW NOTES:
(link)
LEARN MORE ABOUT AEDP:
https://aedpinstitute.org/
ATTEND THEIR CONFERENCE:
https://aedpinstitute.org/aedp-conference-2025-in-it-together/
READ THEIR BOOK:
📚 Tailoring Treatment in Attachment Patterns: Healing Trauma in Relationships
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho
🎧 The lifelong impact of early relationships: How secure attachment influences children’s ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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The science of why transitions are so hard for the ADHD brain - it’s not just that you or your child are "difficult," it’s actually the way a neurodiverse brain works.
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What type of executive functioning skills need more scaffolding for a person with ADHD (and the good news, that being intentional about strengthening them can be a real game changer!)
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Some of these underdeveloped skills can create a snowball effect. Learn exactly how you can identify and make changes to your child’s day to improve these challenging patterns.
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A few real-life examples of how Dr. Emily breaks down tasks, like getting her son to soccer practice with all his gear or helping him study for a test, that makes it easier for him, her, and their whole family.
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Creating a systematic approach for lessening how much support you offer your child that is most likely to help them internalize these new skills and behaviors.
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A transition hack you can use that will make it easier to go from activity to activity.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
- The digital platform Dr. Emily uses with her own child: Quizlet
- Create a visual guide of your child's routine: Small Dry Erase Whiteboard,
- A visual timer you can use: 60-Minute Timer
👉🏻 Are you interested in exploring executive functioning supports? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group we offer a wide range of options, including in-person groups for kids who live locally and coaching virtual supports for those nationally. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel comfortable accepting ADHD School accommodations
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about making mindfulness more “user-friendly” for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for children with neurodiversity with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
The way we parent isn’t just shaped by psychology—it’s deeply influenced by culture, shaping how our children experience love, discipline, and security in ways we may not even realize. Joining me to unpack this is clinical psychologist Dr. Miguelina German.
In this episode we explore:
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Two overarching parenting frameworks, Attachment Theory and Baumrind Parenting Practices, and how understanding the nuances of each can help us in our parenting approach.
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The importance of “warmth” in parenting and what the research reveals of the positive correlation between our child’s perception of high warmth with positive outcomes.
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How generational trauma, values, and cultural norms can inform differences in parenting strategies and styles.
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The impact of being separated from a caregiver as a young child and the attachment rupture that can occur during critical developmental times.
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How to repair a relationship that has undergone an attachment rupture.
Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. By understanding the interplay between attachment, cultural influences, and parenting styles, we can create stronger, more secure connections with our children.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. MIGUELINA:
https://www.drmiguelinagerman.com/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships
- Angels in the nursery: The intergenerational transmission of benevolent parental influences
- Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson - The 4 S's
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach
🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Positive parenting isn’t permissive parenting: How to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and and mental health with Sarah R. Moore
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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When you notice unhealthy patterns in how you tend to show up in relationships or in past therapy, how you can communicate that to your new therapist to help treatment be more successful.
-
If you're feeling overwhelmed by the idea of starting with a new therapist, we share a conversation starter that may make you feel more confident.
-
Strategies for vetting potential therapists - both for professional expertise as well as goodness of fit.
-
Red flags to be on the lookout for as you are deciding if a therapist is right for you.
-
Why it can be helpful to have a basic understanding of the different types of evidence-based treatments and clinical interventions for complex trauma, or whatever mental health challenge you’re struggling with.
-
How to take into account the cultural, personal, and clinical sensitivities you may have when making your choice.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn about the resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham
🎧 Simplifying the jargon associated with therapy: How to be an educated consumer of psychological interventions with Dr. Katie C. Lewis
🎧 Parenting after complex trauma: A mother's journey toward healing in parenthood with Stephanie Foo
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What if small shifts in the way you parent could help prevent Imposter Syndrome in your child before it even starts? Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin is joining me this week to help parents learn how to raise a child who trusts in their own abilities, values, and worth.
In this episode we explore:
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What imposter syndrome actually is (and what it isn’t!) from a scientific and psychological perspective.
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Why it’s common to see self-sabotaging behaviors in people who are experiencing Imposter Syndrome - and what you can do to help you or your kids combat this.
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The impact of rigid versus growth mindset on children as they develop and grow.
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Are certain attachment patterns more prone to Imposter Syndrome?
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The types of conversations you can have with your child, and even with other adults in front of your child, that will lay the groundwork for resilience.
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Why receiving a neurodiversity diagnosis can be empowering for kids and can help combat many associated challenges, Imposter Syndrome being one of them!
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What does it mean to hyper-regulate and how does our environment reinforce this behavior? Is it more common in men or women? With certain siblings? - We’re unpacking it all!
If you're someone who’s ever doubted their own success, or is noticing perfectionistic tendencies in your child, this episode is packed with eye-opening takeaways you won’t want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LISA:
https://www.dynamictransitionsllp.com/
READ DR. LISA'S BOOKS:
📚 Your Child's Greatness: A Parent's Guide to Raising Children without Impostor Syndrome
📚 Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life
📚 Your Unstoppable Greatness: Break Free from Impostor Syndrome, Cultivate Your Agency, and Achieve Your Ultimate Career Goals
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL:
📱 IG: @drorbeaustin and LinkedIn: Lisa Orbé-Austin, PhD
📱 IG: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser?
🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell
🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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What to do when your reassurances to your child doesn’t help soothe their anxiety.
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A sample script of the type of thing you can say (and wait to try to avoid saying) to help your child believe that they can cope with the feeling of anxiety.
-
When our good intentions go bad - some of the most common “mistakes” parents make when navigating their child’s anxiety.
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Understanding the difference between temporarily soothing your child’s fears and using a more effective long-term solution.
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Is it anxiety? The questions to ask yourself to help you determine if your child is experiencing anxiety beyond a normative level.
-
How to tell your child you are going to start doing things differently when they start feeling anxious.
-
Should you respond differently when your child’s anxiety is fueled by something that is possible (like a medical misdiagnosis) rather than something we as adults know are impossible (like a monster under the bed)?
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with Eli Lebowitz about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) that he developed
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring SPACE and the treatment options for childhood anxiety, CLICK HERE to learn about the support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing your child's separation anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about that will help your determine when it's time to seek support managing your child's anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Gayane Aramyan joins me to unpack the “perfect mom” pressure so many of us contend with on a daily basis.
In this episode we cover:
-
Why our expectations of motherhood often don’t match reality—and how to stop blaming ourselves when they don’t.
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The hidden ways control fuels anxiety and overwhelm, and how loosening our grip can make parenting easier.
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The power of flexibility in parenting, and why giving yourself permission to adapt can be a game-changer.
-
What to do when you reach a stage of your child’s development that you simply don’t enjoy.
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The key support systems to have in place before entering motherhood to make the transition smoother.
-
The differences we’re seeing with millennial mothers from what has been considered norms of the past.
-
How to know when the mom-guilt you feel is getting in the way of your parenting and strategies for challenging it.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re falling short of the motherhood ideal, this conversation is here to remind you: You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be you.
LEARN MORE ABOUT GAYANE:
https://www.therapywithgayane.com/
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@therapywithgayane
📱 @drsarahbren
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Breaking the perfectionist mold: How embracing the messy middle is healthier for you and your kids with Monica Packer
🎧 Motherhood as a Millennial: Tuning out the noise and learning to find trust in ourselves with Marcella Kelson
🎧 Social anxiety in parenthood: Navigating play dates, mom-friends, and putting yourself out there with Justine Carino
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca sympathize with this mom and reflects on how great it would be if we could choose our kid’s friends - but offer a mindset shift for why that actually wouldn’t be healthy.
-
Who to turn to for support to help you determine what your best course of action might be.
-
A statement you can say to your child that can help you begin to understand why they may be exhibiting more clingy behaviors.
-
How to get to the root of your own anxieties and fears so you can determine what you might be projecting onto your kids versus what are actual issues they need support navigating.
-
What to avoid saying to your child that may unintentionally cause them to pull away from you.
-
A formula you can use (that works with children of all ages!) to help you know whether the questions you are asking your child will likely be helpful or may lead to increased pressure.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachments in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that will help you empower your daughter with media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
When journalist and author Stephanie Foo was diagnosed with Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), she left her job and devoted herself to healing—a journey she chronicled in her bestselling memoir, What My Bones Know. Now, as a mother, she’s navigating what it means to parent with complex trauma, balancing the high-alert nervous system that comes with C-PTSD while trying to stay present for her child.
In this powerful conversation, Stephanie shares:
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The difference between PTSD and C-PTSD—and why relational healing is essential for many forms of trauma.
-
How motherhood reshapes the brain and why it can trigger fight-or-flight responses.
-
The unique challenges of rupture and repair with a child versus an adult.
-
Why parents with complex trauma may struggle with isolation and finding a supportive community can be so helpful.
-
The strategies that have helped Stephanie most, all of which are useful for any parent, with or without trauma.
If you’ve ever felt like parenting is unearthing deep, unresolved parts of yourself, this episode offers both insight and hope.
LEARN MORE ABOUT STEPHANIE:
https://www.stephaniefoo.me/
READ STEPHANIE'S BOOK:
📚 What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@foofoofoo
📱 @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- Why the "Still-Face" Experiment Was a Game-Changer
- The Strange Situation
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 186. Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham
🎧 204. The science of “mom-rage” and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston
🎧 272. Maternal health, dyadic work, and IFS: Why specialized mental healthcare providers matter with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca debate whether mom-guilt is inherent to all mothers or a societally structured construct (Spoiler: Dr. Rebecca wins this battle!)
-
The critical distinction between distress and guilt and why one can be a destructive grenade in parenting.
-
Releasing guilt is a form of activism - we're explaining why.
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How to course correct once you’ve noticed you’re parenting from a space of guilt.
-
The question to ask yourself that can help guide your behaviors as a parent that come from a place of attunement and trust, rather than guilt or fear.
-
Using a “values-driven” distinction to help you determine the root reasons you are making certain decisions, and how bringing this into your consciousness can be helpful.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing working parent guilt with Daisy Dowling
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing parenthood, partnership, and work with Dr. Yael Schonbrun
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Girls are often sent messages that can leave them feeling unseen, unheard, and boxed in by societal expectations. How can we as parents help them challenge these limiting narratives and grow into their full potential?
In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein to explore:
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How societal norms shape girls’ self-perception, from the “pink frilly dress” phase to body image struggles in their teens.
-
Research statistics that will blow your mind on everything from when gender bias begins, how widespread it is, and its impact on everything from what parents Google to how often girls and boys are called on in school.
-
How to examine and confront the gender stereotypes we unknowingly pass on to our kids when so much of it is unconscious.
-
Practical strategies to help kids understand and navigate the societal messages they encounter. Including a simple yet powerful hack for challenging gender roles when reading children’s books.
-
Actionable advice for fostering resilience and confidence in girls, as well as how to teach boys to work alongside girls to combat toxic masculinity.
If you want to help your kids break free from limiting narratives and thrive as their authentic selves, this episode is a must-listen!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JO-ANN:
https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/
READ DR. JO-ANN'S BOOK:
📚 Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World
JOIN JO-ANN'S SUBSTACK:
📖 The Feminist Parent
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱@joannfinkelstein.phd @joannfinkelstein.phd
📱@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
📺 Ada Twist, Scientist
📺 Vida the Vet
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser?
🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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Exactly when we’d recommend you tell your child that you're pregnant.
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Why it’s important to help your child make sense of what is happening in their life—and the conclusions they can jump to if we don’t share things (in a developmentally appropriate manner) with them.
-
A conversation starter and basic script you can use to introduce this concept to your young child.
-
How these dynamics can change depending on if it’s the second, third, or fourth baby you’re welcoming.
-
The types of topics you want to try to cover (and which ones to try to avoid) when you first tell your child you are pregnant.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going from one to two with Lindsay Ellingson
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do during pregnancy to make you less vulnerable to postpartum anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement during pregnancy and beyond with Dr. Megan Roche
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Grief isn’t something we get over—it’s something we integrate. Joining me to discuss this and the best way to support children through profound loss is Dr. Dan Wolfson, a clinical psychologist specializing in grief.
In this episode we explore:
-
The skills needed for fostering resilience and helping children and adults learn to grieve in a healthy manner.
-
The importance of “oscillation” through grief and how Dr. Dan works with his patients to help them learn to process their feelings without these emotions completely overtaking them.
-
How to help determine when and how it’s time for your child (or you) to go back to things like extracurricular activities, birthday parties, and other “normal” ways of reengaging with life.
-
Parents are often hesitant to show their own grief to their children, however, this can be a helpful form of modeling. We discuss appropriate ways to share your emotions with your child.
-
Typical behaviors and regressions we often see in children who are processing profound sadness and difficult emotions, so you know what to be on the lookout for.
If you or your child are navigating profound loss, this conversation is here to remind you that healing isn’t linear, and you don’t have to do it alone.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN:
https://www.wolfsontherapy.com/danwolfson
LEARN MORE ABOUT EXPERIENCE CAMPS:
https://experiencecamps.org/about-us
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@wolfsontherapy
📱 @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
📚 The Invisible String
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 192. Death, grief, and parenting: How we can help our kids make sense of and make peace with death with Rabbi Steve Leder
🎧 194. Confronting death to find a deeper meaning in life: A continuation of my conversation with Rabbi Steve Leder
🎧 70. Helping children process, accept and understand death with death doula Heather Hogan
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
-
First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise?
-
Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this.
-
What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group.
-
How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly.
-
“There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'"
-
Understanding “social currency” and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social media's impact on your child's attachment security with Dr. Miriam Steele
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Do you know the signs of postpartum depression? Many parents (and even medical professionals) often miss diagnosing new mothers with a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. Here to help shed light on this important topic is Board-Certified OB/GYN and author of the upcoming book, Then Comes Baby, Dr. Jessica Vernon.
In this episode we explore:
-
Why postpartum mental health conditions are so often overlooked—even in medical training.
-
The types of questions Dr. Jessica started asking her prenatal and postpartum patients that allowed them the space to open up and reveal the struggles they were experiencing.
-
How the 6-week check-in after birth become the standard practice and what birthing people can expect of their bodies and minds at the 6-week mark.
-
Why women experiencing mental health struggles in postpartum are so prone to feelings of guilt and shame - even though there is no difference between medical risks and mental health risks, as a society we tend to attach more shame to mental health challenges.
-
What is matrescence and how is it revolutionizing the way we view early motherhood.
-
Managing our expectations with the realization that reality and our fantasies often don’t match up and how that can cause struggles - from birth, to feeding, postpartum, and early parenthood.
-
Free moms groups, books, and other resources for expecting and new parents.
Whether you’re pregnant, newly postpartum, or a professional working with new parents, this episode offers essential insights into how we can improve postpartum care and support maternal mental health.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JESSICA:
https://www.drjessicavernon.com/
PRE-ORDER DR. JESSICA'S BOOK:
📚 Then Comes Baby: An Honest Conversation about Birth, Postpartum, and the Complex Transition to Parenthood
ARE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL?
Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for The Good Mom/Bad Mom Loop, a 3-hour workshop on 2/27 designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
📱 @drsarahbren
📱 @dr.jessicavernon, Jessica Vernon, Jessica Vernon, MD, FACOG, PMH-C
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
📚 Ordinary Insanity: Fear and the Silent Crisis of Motherhood in America
📚 Matrescence: On Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood
✨ Postpartum Support International
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond
🎧 How to lighten the load in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Sterling
🎧 A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs)
🎧 Sex after baby - Part I and Part II
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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Even if we aren’t adding more pressure onto our kids, the world often pushes external achievements on them - how can parents push back against this?
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Why trying to problem-solve with your child may seem like it’s supporting them, but could actually be perpetuating their anxiety.
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The one pillar you can use as a parent to guide all your interactions with your child that can help to defuse the pressure they feel, rather than inadvertently adding to it.
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Saying grades don’t matter is like saying, “throw your sense of control out the window.” What to say instead.
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Our society glorifies perfectionism, but in reality, kids who engage in highly perfectionist tendencies tend to have higher anxiety and internalize their stress, which can lead to missed signs that they need support. What are the signs they are crossing a concerning threshold of perfectionism?
-
We describe a helpful thought exercise you can try with your child today.
WANT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT?
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning style myths with Dr. Dan Willingham
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child cope with anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
How does attachment security relate to codependency? The Codependent Perfectionist, Alana Carvalho, LMHC, is here to explore just that!
In this episode, we cover it all:
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How does codependency fit into the attachment system?
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Does this sound like what you're struggling with in your relationship? We're reviewing some of the most common challenges partners face when one person is more avoidant, and the other is more anxious.
-
Challenging perceptions of what is necessary in a relationship. When we see the world through dysfunctional patterns, we are often unaware of this dysfunction.
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The differences between missatunement versus misperception and how understanding this difference can help us get on the same page on both!
-
A tangible exercise you can do with your partner to help you create a stronger dynamic (and why this works to not kick up a threat response, and helps them stay engaged in the conversation more successfully.)
Whether you’re struggling with relational patterns or looking to better understand your partner, this episode offers powerful insights and tools for cultivating healthier relationships.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ALANA:
https://www.alanacarvalho.com/
TAKE THE QUIZ:
https://www.alanacarvalho.com/the-codependent-perfectionist-quiz/
READ ALANA'S BOOK:
📚 Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
- @thecodependentperfectionist
- @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🎧 Listen to Alana's first Securely Attached episode, Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?
🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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Breaking down the difference between having differing political view points versus someone having extremist views.
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How the health of our relationships with our parents is often intertwined with our relationship with ourselves, our kids, and our entire family system.
-
How to manage feeling lost, un-seen, and destabilized when a parent shifts to being less of a secure attachment figure.
-
Does this change in your parent's views and values mean you have to throw out all the things you have learned from them that inform your approach to raising your own kids?
-
When it’s best to try to compartmentalize things your parent might say, and when it’s necessary to hold firm boundaries.
-
Learn Dr. Sarah's simple framework for setting and holding effective boundaries.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with your in-laws
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful realationshisp with Dr. Rick Hanson
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about mindfulness with Diana Winston
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Music therapist Vered Benhorin is teaching parents how they can use play and music as powerful tools to strengthen connection, foster attachment, and make parenting feel a little easier.
In this episode, we explore:
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Why play is so important for emotional regulation, attachment, and connection—and how parents who don’t naturally enjoy play can redefine what it looks like.
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What are “Bubble Moments,” and how can parents tap into these times throughout the day to deepen their relationship with their child?
-
How music impacts the brain, reinforcing neural networks that support routines, emotional regulation, and even executive functioning skills.
-
The science behind a “sing-song” voice and why it feels so regulating for both you and your child.
-
How to expand your definition of play to find activities that feel fun and authentic for you as a parent.
Whether you’re looking to strengthen your bond with your child, better understand attachment theory, or discover simple ways to use music and play to make parenting more joyful, this episode is packed with insights and practical advice you won’t want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT VERED:
https://www.babyintune.com/
READ VERED'S NEW BOOK:
📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together
LISTEN TO VERED'S MUSIC:
🎵 Listen on Spotify
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with Vered Benhorin
🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 A 10-year-old’s take on starting a new school year, navigating friendships, and what he wants every parent to keep in mind
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
-
What does it mean to be “nesting” during a divorce?
-
What types of logistical and emotional factors to consider to help you determine if this is a good choice for your family.
-
What are the pros and cons of nesting for kids (and for you!)
-
How to help kids feel secure during a separation, whether you’ve decided to nest with your ex or not.
-
A script for helping your child understand the difference between love in a parent-child relationship and love in a romantic adult relationship. This distinction can help kids who may be worried that they will get left too.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting some common misconceptions about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with a narcissist
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do after you and your partner have a big fight in front of your kids
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Sibling relationships are some of the longest-lasting and most influential relationships in our lives, but they’re also filled with complexity. Dr. Jonathan Caspi, a renowned expert on sibling relationships, is breaking down the fascinating science behind sibling dynamics and sharing actionable advice for parents.
In this episode we explore:
-
The surprising science behind why if you give two siblings and two strangers personality tests, the siblings wouldn't be any more similar than the strangers.
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The importance of neutrality in parental interventions with siblings and how this can prevent feelings of favoritism and resentment.
-
Practical strategies for managing sibling conflict: Like what to say in the heat of the moment to support their problem-solving skills, what to focus on (and what to ignore) to build closeness and empathy, and how to know it's time to get involved vs. when to let them work it out themselves, and more!
-
How to respond if your child struggles when you bring a new baby home with methods that foster closeness and decrease rivalry.
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Insider versus outsider status: How parents can unintentionally create sibling rivalry, and what to do instead.
-
The vital importance of parental regulation and how to stay calm when our “mama bear” instincts are triggered.
Whether you’re trying to navigate sibling squabbles, encourage connection, or simply understand the dynamics at play in your own family, this episode is packed with fascinating insights and practical tools you won't want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JONATHAN CASPI:
https://siblingexpert.com/
READ DR. JONATHAN'S BOOK:
📚 Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
- @siblingexpert
- @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- Research Study: Why are siblings so different?
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 The science of “mom-rage” and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston
🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman
🎧 Getting on the same page as your partner in parenting
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
-
What is developmentally typical for 2-year-olds when it comes to manners and patience?
-
Understanding impulse control, joint attention, and attunement - and how to use these 3 things to help you know how to respond to your child when they are demanding your attention.
-
When to pause to validate your child's desire, and when it’s okay to ignore their request.
-
How to help your child tolerate waiting (no matter how big their reaction is to being told they need to wait.)
-
How to collaboratively problem solve with your child to come up with strategies around what they CAN do to interrupt you when they need your attention.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a toddler with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series, Carol Zeavin and Rhona Silverbush
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about responding to your child who loses their cool when they get frustrated
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you
🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to keep your child from becoming a spoiled brat
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What role do early attachment relationships play in shaping who we become? In this episode, Dr. Alan Sroufe, a pioneering researcher in attachment, shares decades of insights from his groundbreaking longitudinal study.
Together we explore:
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How Dr. Sroufe’s research answered the question: Do early experiences leave a lasting legacy?
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Why resilience isn’t just about thriving in the face of adversity, but is deeply rooted in the strength of attachment relationships.
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The importance of early relationships in helping children develop a sense of safety, positive self-worth, and durable relationships.
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A hopeful message that attachment isn't fixed and that secure relationships in adolescence and adulthood can change developmental trajectories, even after challenging childhoods.
-
Why the quality, not quantity, of time with your child matters most (and what babies can teach us about connection).
-
How parents can help shape the meaning children make of their world and guide them through challenges with empathy.
Dr. Sroufe’s work shows that while early experiences are never erased, they’re always building blocks for growth—and recovery is always possible.
READ THE BOOK DR. ALAN'S RECOMMENDS PARENTS START WITH:
📚 A Compelling Idea: How We Become the Persons We Are
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR PARENTING SENSITIVE CHILDREN:
👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan
🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier
🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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It can be tricky to maintain relationships when you’re in different stages of life from your friends and it’s common for some to atrophy after you become a parent.
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Unpacking all the feelings you may have about this: fear, guilt, grief, and more!
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Practical strategies for creating a simple routine that is easy for you to maintain, but will also allow you to keep these relationships from going too long without any checkins.
-
When you are changed by motherhood, you may slip into black-and-white thinking with regard to your friendships. We offer you a perspective shift you can use to challenge that.
-
How to check in with yourself so you can understand the root of your desires for connection, which will help you create realistic anchors that will actually meet your needs.
-
Time management and scheduling hacks that can help you be intentional about protecting the time you do have.
-
How to repair bonds with friends who may feel hurt, slighted, or abandoned by you.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of “mom-rage” with Diana Winston
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about identifying and managing your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance with Chelsi Jo
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about overcoming parental burnout
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Discover how maternal mental health care is evolving and why specialized support is critical for mothers with Paige Bellenbaum, LCSW, PMH-C and Rebecca Geshuri, LMFT, PMH-C.
In this episode we explore:
-
What dyadic work is and how this can be especially beneficial for mothers and birthing people for developing a bond with their child.
-
How Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can support mothers in addressing their inner “mom parts” that contribute to feelings of failure and overwhelm.
-
How polarized parts and perfectionism can create distress in motherhood and how embracing a “both-and” mentality can offer relief and self-compassion.
-
The questions to ask when looking for a provider to ensure they’re trained in maternal mental health and understand the complexities of this life stage.
-
Why it's so important for pediatricians, OBGYNs, or anyone who often comes into contact with birthing parents to have even a basic understanding of this transformative experience.
Whether you’re a mother seeking support, a professional working with birthing parents, or simply someone invested in breaking the stigma around mental health and motherhood, this episode is filled with practical insights you won't want to miss.
REGISTER FOR THE TRAINING ON FEB. 27:
Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for this 3-hour workshop designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERHOOD CENTER:
https://themotherhoodcenter.com/
LEARN MORE ABOUT REBECCA:
https://www.rebeccageshurilmft.com/get-to-know-me
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- Postpartum Support International
- Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships
LISTEN TO PAIGE & REBECCA'S PAST EPISODES:
🎧 Using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with the creators of The Mothercentric Approach
🎧 Preventing tragedy and shining a light on postpartum psychosis: What it is, what it's not, and how to find support for yourself or a loved one with Paige Bellenbaum
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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How to best approach daycare transitions and is there a right or a wrong answer to this question?
-
The most important questions to ask yourself to determine which of these scenarios will be easiest for your unique child.
-
Is it better to have a single, potentially steeper transition or a slower, more incremental transition?
-
The key things to consider (like sleep habits, separation anxiety, etc.) to help you determine which is best for your individual situation.
-
Zooming out to see how this change will impact the entire family system and adding these factors into your decision making process.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Transitioning to a new daycare
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping child with separation anxiety
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about being a working parent with Daisy Dowling
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Neha Ruch is sharing strategies for embracing flexibility as you balance, shift, and grow in both your career and parenthood.
In this episode we explore:
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How to redefine what “career” means to you at this stage of life and navigate the evolving roles of being a working or stay-at-home parent.
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Why downshifting your career can be a valuable smaller step if you're not ready to take a full pause.
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Preparing for this transition to feel less overwhelming—emotionally, financially, and in terms of your shifting identity.
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Supporting women in feeling validated and respected in their choices to dial up or down in their careers.
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How motherhood can be a time to foster creativity and the importance of staying connected to what brings you joy—whether it's for work or personal fulfillment.
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A good first step for moms who don’t know where to begin in making this shift.
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What a “family administration” meeting is and how to evaluate what’s working and what’s not—giving yourself permission to let go of what isn’t serving you.
Don't miss this episode that will help you redefine what career means to you!
LEARN MORE ABOUT NEHA:
https://www.motheruntitled.com/
READ NEHA'S NEW BOOK:
📚 The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🎧 Listen to Neha's first Securely Attached episode, Redefining what it means to be a stay-at-home parent with Neha Ruch
📱 I sang my sister’s praise in this episode! Check out @mychicnest to follow along with her interior design account.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond Q&A with Dr. Emily Upshur
🎧 Turning parenthood into a career asset for working moms and dads with The Fifth Trimester’s Lauren Smith Brody
🎧 What it means to be a working parent today: Challenging parental guilt, managing your time, and setting effective boundaries with Daisy Dowling
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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Unpacking your own feelings about swearing (or any undesirable behaviors) your child is engaging in.
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How to teach your child to attune to their environment and know when and where certain behaviors are appropriate and when and where they are not.
-
Zooming out to identify what your child’s intention is when they are swearing (to test boundaries, in anger, in silly moments, etc.) to help you know how to respond.
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When and how to use strategies that have the greatest likelihood of getting this behavior to stop.
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A playful script that can defuse the tension and keep you from feeling triggered.
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The big differences to the approaches you may want to try based on who is the recipient of inappropriate or hurtful language.
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How to get your children to disengage from each other’s negative behaviors, instead of being fueled by each other.
-
How Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily handle swearing in their own homes with their kids.
-
The benefits of swearing that may surprise you.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
- Swearing may be a sign of a higher intelligence
- Cursing can increase pain tolerance
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when kids say they hate themselves
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when kids say they hate you
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about enforcing consequences that teach
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
A deep dive on combating parental burnout to start off 2025 with more balance.
In this episode I dive deep into…
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Understanding what parental burnout actually is and how it is different from regular “stress” in parenthood?
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The pros and cons of the rise of the “Parenting Industrial Complex.”
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The output/input formula that will inevitably lead to depletion, and why parents of sensitive children are more susceptible to an imbalance in this equation.
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An exercise you can use to address (and flip!) your personal output/input equation to create more balance for yourself.
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Taking a Family-Systems approach to addressing and treating parental burnout.
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How parental burnout can impact the parent-child relationship, leading to more dysregulated behaviors from our kids, us losing our cool, and creating a self-perpetuating negative feedback loop.
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Why traditional self-care strategies don’t work for combatting parental burnout, and my recommendations for practical, realistic, and attainable strategies that actually do!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH BREN:
https://drsarahbren.com/
FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:
@drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- The Surgeon General Report: Parental Mental Health & Well-Being
- In one study, Parents whose children experienced anxiety or ADHD had two to four times higher risk of experiencing parental burnout (anxiety: OR, 2.54; ADHD: OR, 4.41) compared with those whose children had no anxiety or ADHD. [1]
- Addressing systemic problems with Raena Boston, Lauren Smith Brody, and Alexis Barad-Cutler
- Encouraging your child to engage in independent play
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Quit the never-ending to-do list: How to find balance in the home, at work, and in parenthood with Chelsi Jo
🎧 Is fun the antidote to burnout? How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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Translating the question: I don’t want a sibling may actually just mean, “I miss you.”
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Zooming back to assess the environmental factors that may be taxing your child, especially when there are a lot of transitions and changes going on.
-
How to change the narrative in your young child’s mind so they don’t associate losing quality time with Mommy and Daddy to having more siblings.
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When to simply validate your child’s feelings and when to know if it’s time to try to make some changes.
-
A script of exactly what you can say to help your child feel more contained and regulated in these moments.
-
Why helping your child feel seen in the moment can foster their secure attachment, which may end up indirectly solving the problems you're experiencing.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment and growth mindset with Melinda Wenner Moyer
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether it's bad to "baby" the baby
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Discover how to use the power of play to strengthen your child’s emotional regulation and foster meaningful connection, with Dr. Abbré McClain and Dr. Jacqueline Salazar.
In this episode, we explore:
-
How play and relationships can be foundational elements for teaching kids emotional regulation skills.
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Why coregulation doesn’t have to be so serious and can be employed through play and playfulness.
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The therapeutic function of play interventions and how they work in play therapy.
-
How to adapt play strategies for different developmental stages and unique children.
-
Why playing with your kids is different from entertaining them, and how child-led play can be less exhausting for parents.
-
Quality over quantity: How even small moments of playfulness can make a big difference in strengthening parent-child bonds.
If you’re looking for practical ways to build emotional regulation skills while bringing more joy and connection into your family’s life, this episode is filled with actionable insights to get you started!
LEARN MORE ABOUT:
- Dr. Abbré McClain
- Dr. Jacqueline Salazar
READ THEIR BOOK:
📚 The Self-Regulation Workbook for 3- to 5-Year-Olds: Play-Based and Creative Activities to Build Coping Skills and Handle Big Emotions
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@chicago.wellness.center
📱 @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 Supporting our children's emotional regulation and sensory processing experiences: With occupational therapist Laura Petix
🎧 The psychology behind dysregulation with Cara Goodwin
🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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Breaking down the different strategies you’d use with kids whether this is a single one-off big fight, or if conflict is more prevalent in your home.
-
What a conversation with your child might sound like and how to adapt it to be most authentic to you.
-
Specific things to do in order to lessen the negative impact of parental conflict on your kids.
-
How to help your child make sense of what happened in a narrative that allows them to understand they are safe and the fight wasn’t their fault.
-
A developmentally appropriate way to share with your child that sometimes the people we love the most are the ones that we get into the biggest arguments with.
-
How to reassure and repair with a baby ore very young child who is still too little to understand your words.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about creating a thriving partnership with Dr. Suzanne Burger
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about resolving conflicts with Dr. Rick Hanson
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Discover the impacts of EdTech in schools and how parents can advocate for their children’s education with technology attorney Andy Liddell
-
What EdTech is and how technology like iPads and Chromebooks are being integrated into classrooms.
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The hidden dangers of screens on the learning experience, what is at risk when hands-on learning is replaced by more passive educational experiences, and how to optimize information retention, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills.
-
The role of big tech in surveillance capitalism, persuasive design, and selling children’s data.
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How much control do schools have over blocking and restricting content on school-issued devices? (Spoiler: Most technology comes with no restrictions in place.)
-
How tech in classrooms is displacing social interactions, interfering with relationship development, overstimulating vulnerable children, and putting stress on an already fragile system.
-
What parents can do to teach media literacy, advocate for their child’s privacy, and push for more thoughtful use of technology in schools
If you’re concerned or just curious about the influence of technology on your child’s learning and development, this conversation is packed with strategies and insights to help you navigate these challenges with confidence and purpose.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ANDY & EDTECH LAW CENTER:
https://edtech.law/
REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- Read the research on EdTech conducted by Jared Cooney Horvath, PhD, MEd
- Social Media Victims Law Center
- Wait Until 8th
- Fairplay
- Everyschool
- Social Studies Documentary
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
🎧 The battle over screen time: Helping our children form a healthy relationship to technology with Emily Cherkin/
🎧 Have phones displaced our ability to play and have fun? How to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
-
Bullying is often an expression of pain, so leading with compassion for your child is often your best entry point.
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How to readjust your goal, rather than just trying to shut down your child's behaviors, for a higher likelihood of getting through to them.
-
Examples of real-life scenarios that middle school girls may be experiencing and how to navigate them.
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The most common reasons middle schoolers act this way, so you can help you identify what the root cause may be to help you get to the heart of the matter.
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Conversation starters you can use to prevent your child from getting defensive and shutting down.
-
At some point, this moves beyond exploring your child’s feelings and these behaviors simply need to stop - when and how to transition to this point.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in toddlerhood
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in early adolescence
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child learn to foster secure friendships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to talk to your teen with Elizabeth Bennett
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Motherhood comes with immense challenges, but when mothers come together, they can spark transformative change. In this inspiring episode, Erin Erenberg, founder of Totum Women and co-founder of the Chamber of Mothers, shares her journey becoming a powerful advocate for maternal rights.
In this episode, we explore:
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Erin's personal and professional journey that inspired her to empower and support mothers.
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The Chamber of Mothers mission: Uniting mothers as advocates to create a better America.
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How this bipartisan group is working to include "point of view diversity" and bridge mothers across all sides of the aisle.
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How the Chamber of Mothers plans to work with the upcoming administration to continue fighting for the rights of all mothers in America.
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What is galvanizing the people who are still motivated, and how to fight any feelings of dread people may be experiencing.
-
Strategies for accessing accurate information and taking care of ourselves in an overwhelming time of political divide.
Learn how to join a movement that’s not only advocating for mothers but creating a brighter future for the next generation!
LEARN MORE ABOUT ERIN ERENBERG:
https://www.totumwomen.com/blogs/news/more-on-our-founder
LEARN MORE ABOUT CHAMBER OF MOTHERS:
https://chamberofmothers.com/
JOIN A LOCAL CHAMBER:
https://chamberofmothers.com/local-chapters/
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
Chamber of Mothers: @chamberofmothers
Dr. Sarah Bren: @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- Moms Demand Action - https://momsdemandaction.org/
- Vote Mama - https://www.votemama.org/
- National Women’s Law Center - https://nwlc.org/
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Motherhood as advocacy: A conversation about paid family leave, abortion access and gun reform with Raena Boston
🎧 Turning parenthood into a career asset for working moms and dads with The Fifth Trimester’s Lauren Smith Brody
🎧 The pressures of motherhood in our society: And how we can come together to feel less alone with Alexis Barad-Cutler
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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Dysregulation isn't just a result of negative emotions, kids can also become dysregulated from positive emotions too.
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Embracing your child’s excitement before you help them start to down-regulate can be a more successful (and fun) strategy.
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Specific strategies for transitioning your child from those big, exciting moments into calming down in a way that is targeted to their development and nervous system.
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The key questions to ask yourself to help you determine exactly how to pick and choose your parenting battles when it comes to family gatherings.
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The difference between structured and unstructured playtime - and the pros and cons of each.
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Our mom-tips for an activity that is helpful and containing for kids who have “buzzy energy” in these situations.
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How to “pre-regulate” your child before they become dysregulated.
REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🎧 How do I stop my child from picking up his friend’s bad behaviors?
🎧 Why are birthday parties so hard for my kid?
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology of dyregulation with Cara Goodwin
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how Polyvagal Theory teaches us to calm our nervous system with Seth Porges
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Joining me today is Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown to share the science behind why sleep is so essential, how to adapt sleep strategies for those with neurodiverse brains, and practical tips for tackling common sleep challenges.
In this episode, we explore:
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The science of why sleep is so important and foundational for children (spoiler: it’s tied to growth, brain development, immune system regulation, emotion management, and more!)
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The inadvertent mistake many parents make (that even Dr. Funke made with her own son) when they don’t properly understand the different phases of childhood sleep.
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What the research reveals about the sleep architecture and the quality of sleep for kids with neurodiverse brains. (And why it’s not just about quantity.)
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Behavioral cues and environmental strategies you can use to shift your child’s circadian rhythm.
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Why “catching up on sleep” during the weekend actually works against your child.
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Breaking down the R.I.S.E. U.P. Protocol to help both kids and parents wake up easier and stop feeling the urge to hit snooze one more time.
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The association of ADHD with mouth breathing during sleep and whether or not you should consider physical therapy for mouth breathers.
-
When you may want to consider getting a sleep evaluation for your child and what you can expect from a sleep test.
Don’t miss this deep dive into the science of sleep, actionable tips for better rest, and strategies to help your whole family thrive!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. FUNKE:
https://www.therestfulsleepplace.com/
READ DR. FUNKE'S BOOK:
📚 Beyond Tired: A Sleep Physician’s Guide to Solving Your Child’s Sleep Problems for Good
WATCH DR. FUNKE'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:
💻 RestfulSleepMD
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@restfulsleepmd and @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
The sunrise clock Dr. Sarah uses to make waking up easier for her
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How to make mindfulness more “user-friendly” for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska
🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell
🎧 Parenting with the “Whole-Brain”: How to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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A quick breakdown of Baumrind’s 4 parenting styles: Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive, and Neglectful.
-
If you want to learn more, check out episode 39 where we dive deeper into parenting styles.
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How to use “high love and high limits” as your compass for helping you know how to raise healthy kids.
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Why the pattern so many parents find themselves in is:
authoritative ➡️ permissive ➡️ authoritarian (and how to break this cycle!)
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Knowing the difference between being permissive and making a conscious and intentional choice not to pick this battle.
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The subtle shift in how you frame an intentional pivot to your child so your actions are still authoritative when you are “giving in.”
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How to change your mind without teaching your child that they can get you to cave and that your limits are unreliable.
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When your child refuses to take a bath, brush their teeth, wants more water after bedtime, and asks for candy before breakfast - how to be authoritative in all of these situations.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 What can I do when all the "rules" for setting limits don't work for my sensitive kid?
🎧 How to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan
🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman is here to shed light on the facts surrounding vaccines and address common concerns and questions she hears most often from parents in her practice, like:
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Does the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine cause autism? (Spoiler: No, vaccines do not cause autism.)
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Do I need to vaccinate my child based on my pediatrician’s suggested schedule?
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What are the risks of stopping administering vaccines to children?
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If vaccines are so good, why don’t we have them for more things, like the common cold?
-
Is it really necessary to get a flu shot every year?
-
Are people given the actual disease when they get a vaccine? If so, then why not just get the illness itself and let my immune system learn to fight it?
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Should you give your baby Tylenol before a vaccine so the shot hurts less?
If you’ve ever had questions or felt unsure about vaccines, this episode is packed with helpful, expert-driven insights. Dr. Gilman’s thoughtful, research-backed approach is sure to leave you feeling more informed and empowered!
SHOW NOTES:
(link)
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
- American Academy of Pediatrics: Immunizations
- American Academy of Pediatrics :Examine the Evidence
- CDC: Vaccines for Children
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How mold, Lyme, pesticides, and other toxins may be impacting your child's physical and mental health with Dr. Pejman Katiraei
🎧 How to ease your childs anxiety for doctors visits with pediatrician Dr. Rachel Geronemus
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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How to incorporate the parenting knowledge you’ve acquired without losing sight of your own gut instincts.
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Understanding what your job as a parent is when your child feels thwarted (and why making them stop yelling might not be your true end goal)
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Unpacking the underlying question of: What do I do if my child is screaming volitionally as a manipulation tactic?
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Whether your child is in a full-blown tantrum or just slightly dysregulated, the key strategies for addressing their underlying struggle.
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How to respond to the behaviors (like yelling, eating, spitting, etc.) that you have no true control over.
-
How to find that middle space between not making your child feel responsible for your feelings without having to abandon all your own needs.
👉🏻 GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR COMBATTING TANTRUMS:
Learn exactly how to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your child's tantrums in my self-paced course, The Science of Tantrums.
📚 READ Rebecca's book on managing your child's tantrums, The Tantrum Survival Guide
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT DYSREGULATION:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a "threenager"
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a step-by-step guide for changing your child's behavior
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering the question: does teaching my kid to punch a pillow when they're mad make them more aggressive?
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Kim Mishkin is here to shed light on Project-Based Learning, an education model that encourages kids to explore, problem-solve, and collaborate in ways that tap into their natural curiosity and interests.
In this episode we explore:
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What Project-Based Learning (PBL) is and how it differs from the standard American education model.
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The origins of the PBL model and what current research reveals about its efficacy for educating kids?
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Why allowing children to help shape the direction of their curriculum reinforces their motivation to learn and fosters curiosity.
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How core academic subjects like reading, writing, and math are covered with a PBL approach.
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Will kids who have been educated in a PBL elementary and middle-school be able to successfully transition to a standard American academic high-school or college environment?
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Ways parents can integrate elements of the PBL approach into everyday life, helping to build critical thinking and curiosity in their children, even outside a PBL school.
If you’re curious about alternative education models or looking for ways to inspire a love of learning in your child, this conversation is packed with insights you won't want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT HUDSON LAB SCHOOL:
https://www.hudsonlabschool.com/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 PBL Works
📚 Project Based Learning (PBL) Starter Kit
🎥 Most Likely to Succeed
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham
🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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Is it developmentally appropriate for my 3-year-old to start to mimic their friends' behaviors?
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How to approach differences when our kid’s friends or our family friends have different rules and limits than we do.
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A conversation you can have with your child after they spend time with their friend and you start to see behaviors that you do not allow in your house - and how these can lead to larger conversations about peer pressure as they get older.
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Zooming back to determine what your larger goals are will help you know what to focus on and what to let go of.
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If you’ve ever wondered, “How can I get my kid to listen to me, especially in a highly exciting situation?” we’ll give you a precursor that you may be skipping that could help!
-
Dr. Rebecca shares her #1 golden rule of all child playdates.
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Dr. Sarah shares her 4 S’s for how to make playdates most successful.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using consequences intended teach, not punish your child
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.
Tune in to hear:
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What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life’s ups and downs.
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The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.
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Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.
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How attachment affects a child’s development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.
This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!
SHOW NOTES:
(link)
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?
Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:
https://drsarahbren.com/
FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan
🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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Unpacking what you consider to be a “chore” versus what is just an expectation of your child as a member of the household.
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How do you teach your child to do chores (and why you may need to remind them to do it over and over and over again!)
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At what age is it appropriate to expect your child to be able to accomplish tasks like chores?
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How to take advantage of routines when it comes to setting expectations and creating habits with your child.
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Being intentional about looking for opportunities where your child can help out that are aligned with your family values.
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Will giving chores decrease your child’s intrinsic motivation? (And why it’s not so black and white)
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about unlocking motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing the load of parenthood with Lauren A. Tetenbaum
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that busts positive parenting myths with Tracy Gillett
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Get science-backed strategies to raise kids who are compassionate, kind, and successful in today’s chaotic world with Melinda Wenner Moyer.
In this episode, we explore:
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How becoming a parent shifted Melinda’s attention to applying science and research to answer her most pressing parenting questions
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One of the most surprising and counterintuitive things Melinda learned when she started to dig into the research on parenting.
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How to approach challenging topics, like race, authentically and in age-appropriate ways without needing a “script.”
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Diving into Carol Dweck’s research study using fixed vs growth mindset language with kids and how it affected their perseverance (Spoiler: Kids who were given fixed mindset messaging showed less resilience.)
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Why kids lie, the best ways we can respond when they do, and how this can impact how likely they are to be open with us as they get older.
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How attachment security impacts our kid’s ability to be confident, curious, flexible, and compassionate
If you’re looking to raise kind, resilient kids who feel safe being honest with you, this conversation is filled with insights to help you make that happen!
LEARN MORE ABOUT MELINDA:
https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/
READ MELINDA'S BOOKS:
📚 How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens
📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times
JOIN MELINDA'S SUBSTACK:
📖 Is My Kid the Asshole?
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
📱@melindawmoyer and @drsarahbren
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE:
- Read more about Carol Dweck
- Watch the Instagram reel we talk about: Teaching my boomer mom about gentle parenting
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Raising conscious kids: A thoughtful exploration of bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford
🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman
🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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Unpacking what “shy” really means and exploring the space between shyness and social anxiety.
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When to encourage your child and push them out of their comfort zone versus when it's better to respect their boundaries.
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Thinking of shyness as a feeling and not a character trait - plus a script for how to articulate that distinction to your child.
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Why young children may act more shy around other kids, especially in environments like a playground.
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The different levels of support you can use to stretch your child with specific real-world examples of how this may sound and play out.
-
Saying hello is a common struggle many “shy kids” face. We're discussing whether or not you should force them to say hello.
-
Different parenting approaches and strategies to try based on your child’s age.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties may be challenging for your child
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we're talking about how mindfulness can reduce symptoms of ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska.
In this episode we explore:
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Does having ADHD make it harder to engage in mindfulness and meditation practices? (Spoiler: Yes, but there are things we can do about that!)
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What the research reveals about mindfulness in teens and adults with ADHD and the science of how a mindfulness practice strengthens neurological deficits in the brain.
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Parenthood requires so much executive functioning, sensory stimulation, and stress, so often this is when the strategies we’ve been using to manage symptoms of ADHD fall apart.
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Concrete strategies, like the best time of day, introducing aspects of physicality, and logistical considerations for how to incorporate mindfulness practice into your life when sitting still feels too difficult or daunting.
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Tips for identifying what helps you personally feel less flooded that can serve as your go-to’s when things start to feel scattered, stuck, or overwhelming.
-
The importance of self-compassion in mindfulness and how this is an often overlooked, yet key piece of mindfulness practices.
If you're curious about how mindfulness can make a real difference for those with ADHD, this episode is a must-listen!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LIDIA:
https://lidiazylowska.com/
READ LIDIA'S BOOKS:
📚 The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD: An 8-Step Program for Strengthening Attention, Managing Emotions, and Achieving Your Goals
📚 Mindfulness for Adult ADHD: A Clinician's Guide
WATCH LIDIA'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:
💻 MindfulRxADHD
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 ADDitude
👉🏻 Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)
👉🏻 Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA)
GET MORE SUPPORT:
👉🏻 Go to upshurbren.com if you're interested in resources for you or your child with ADHD, including individual, group, parenting support, and neuropsychological evaluation services tailored to your unique needs.
CHECK ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 The benefits of mindfulness: How to use this practice for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston
🎧 The science of “mom-rage” and how to use mindfulness as a as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston
🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell
🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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What are the advantages of telehealth appointments and the ability to do virtual sessions from anywhere.
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Do the full range of emotions and subtle nuances get lost when you’re talking through a screen? (Spoiler: Our brains fill in so much it often feels like we’re in the same room.)
-
What to consider to determine if virtual therapy may not be the best option for you.
-
The different levels of interventions and the types of support that can match up with each.
-
If you are doing virtual therapy, how to maximize the experience and specific strategies to implement to make your sessions most effective.
-
What is the difference between therapy and mental health coaching and what are the different rules for each based on the state you live in.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring our therapy and coaching support services, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about newborn sleep with Greer Kirshenbaum
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about staying mindful in postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Kira Bartlett
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going back to work after maternity leave with Lauren Smith Brody
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Here to talk about the unique challenges that come from pregnancy and postpartum with multiples is the founder of Gold Coast Doulas, Kristin Revere.
In this episode we explore:
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What exactly is a doula and how can doulas be helpful for expecting and postpartum parents, especially for those with multiples?
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Understanding the emotional, physical, and logistical stress associated with having twins or triplets.
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Resources that are available and insurance coverage options broken down for those seeking access to doula care (whether you're having one baby or more).
-
A framework—including the most important questions to ask—when looking for a doula that can meet your family's unique needs and best support you.
-
The difference between a night nurse and a postpartum doula and what to consider to determine what type of care would be best for your family.
-
Baby registry tips, postpartum strategies, and what an average day with a doula supporting multiples may look like.
If you've ever wondered what a doula does and how they can help, especially if you're expecting multiples, this conversation is for you!
SHOW NOTES:
(link)
LEARN MORE ABOUT KRISTIN & GOLD COAST DOULAS:
https://www.goldcoastdoulas.com/
READ HER BOOK:
📚 Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby by Kristin Revere and Alyssa Veneklase
LISTEN TO HER PODCAST:
🎧 Ask The Doulas Podcast
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
Fertility, birth, and postpartum insurance and care resources:
-
Carrot
-
Progyny
-
Maven
-
Tricare
-
MomsBloom
🤳 DOWNLOAD my free postpartum mental health checklist
💻 WATCH my free workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!
👉🏻 JOIN ME in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Maternal mental health throughout pregnancy and parenthood with birth doula Carson Meyer
🎧 Rethinking the birth plan: How to create a plan with your OBGYN that supports resilience and reduces anxiety with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany
🎧 NICU survival guide: Establishing a secure attachment even when your child is in the hospital with the founders of NICU Nook
🎧 Beyond postpartum depression: A breakdown of all PMADs
🎧 Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle- Fishman
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
-
Dr. Rebecca shares how she made the decision of whether or not to send her own two children to sleep-away camp. (Spoiler: She chose to send her older child, not her younger son.)
-
The logistical and financial pointers to think of that can potentially buy you some extra time to make this decision.
-
Is it better to send them when they’re not ready, or hold them back for a year and risk the potential consequences? Dr. Sarah and Dr. Rebecca share what they suggest parents do if you’re on the fence.
-
The developmental milestones and skills you want to look for to help you decide if your kid may be ready for camp.
-
Should you send your kid to sleep-away camp? It all boils down to a simple-single answer (a Beyond the Sessions first!)
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Join me for an inspiring conversation with Lauren Smith Brody, author and founder of The Fifth Trimester, as we explore the realities and challenges of being a working parent.
In this episode we discuss:
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The one thing that Lauren has observed to most galvanize people to stand up for their needs and their family's needs in the workplace.
-
Dr. Sarah shares the oh-so-relatable working-mom struggle that led her to be 8 months pregnant, crying alone in a coffee shop.
-
How to step back and identify if the “rules” aren’t working for you and how you can start to feel more empowered to break them (even when it’s hard!)
-
A simple strategy for making it easier for your work to say yes to your requests (Hint: The first step is understanding why it’s an economically good decision for your boss to make the accommodations you’re requesting.)
-
What a small business owner can do to support working parents when they don’t necessarily have the financial resources to do all the big-ticket items they wish they could.
-
How employers can help their teams “resentment-proof” their career and their lives with solutions for the future.
Tune in for a conversation packed with insights on how to empower working moms and transform workplace culture!
LEARN MORE ABOUT LAUREN SMITH BRODY:
https://www.thefifthtrimester.com/
READ LAUREN'S BOOK:
📚 The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom's Guide to Style, Sanity, and Success After Baby
LEARN MORE ABOUT CHAMBER OF MOTHERS:
https://chamberofmothers.com/
VOTE LIKE A MOTHER:
https://chamberofmothers.com/vote-like-a-mother/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🎧 LISTEN to my podcast interview with fellow Chamber of Mothers member Alexis Barad-Cutler
🎧 LISTEN to my podcast interview with fellow Chamber of Mothers member Raena Boston
📚 READ The R.O.I. of Caregiving Benefits white paper
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
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What are the barriers we are grappling with as a society in terms of parental mental health?
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The energy, resolve, and 'all-emcompassingness' of parenthood has long been ignored and undervalued in our society.
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Is it okay for moms to make themselves a priority, even over the long list of your child’s needs? - Our answer may (but hopefully won’t) surprise you.
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Is the “parenting industrial complex” causing parents to feel more shame, fear, and dependency?
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How to tune into your instinct and feel empowered knowing you’re the expert on your own kid.
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Getting through the misinformation and noise to help you take some of the pressure off your shoulders.
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What parents (and everyone) can do to support parental mental health!
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 U.S. Surgeon General Issues Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Join me for a deep dive into the essential aspects of emotional regulation in parenting with clinical psychologist, Dr. Amber Thornton.
In this episode we explore:
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Cognitive, emotional, physical, and physiological regulation - the differences between all four and how this knowledge can help you feel more grounded.
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Dr. Amber shares her PCR Method that parents can use to identify and manage their own dysregulation.
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How to understand your parenting triggers (because we all have them!) so you can use more effective strategies tailored to your unique nervous system.
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Gain practical approaches for reparenting yourself to meet the needs of your younger self.
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Why being an imperfect parent is actually beneficial, and even optimal, for your child’s development!
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How understanding the scientific principles of attachment theory can help reduce fear and lower the stakes we feel in parenthood.
Discover practical strategies to help you navigate the challenges of parenthood while fostering a healthier connection with your children.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. AMBER:
https://www.dramberthornton.com/
READ DR. AMBER'S BOOK:
📚 A Parent's Guide to Self-Regulation: A Practical Framework for Breaking the Cycle of Dysregulation and Mastering Emotions for Parents and Children
WATCH DR. AMBER ON YOUTUBE:
💻 https://www.youtube.com/@dramberthornton
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.
👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
@dramberthornton
@drsarahbren
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 The psychology behind dysregulation with Cara Goodwin
🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom
🎧 What to do before, during and after we lose our cool: Helping parents navigate their own big feelings with Dr. Cindy Hovington
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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What is a phobia, and how can it show up (like, for this 7-year-old who developed a fear of vomiting after having a stomach bug) in kids?
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How to recognize when your child’s phobia or anxiety might require additional support versus when soothing and comfort may be enough to help them through their discomfort.
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When to treat child anxiety or phobias with CBT and when to use a SPACE approach - and how to determine the best fit for your child.
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What a supportive statement is and how it can be a powerful first step to helping your child manage their fears (plus, why mastering it can mean your job as a parent is done!)
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A counterintuitive approach: how reframing our own responsibility to focus on our responses and behaviors rather than trying to change our child’s behavior can take a huge weight and pressure off a parent's shoulders.
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The biggest mistake that Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily see parents make when they try to implement a SPACE approach - and how to avoid this pitfall.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring support options for your child's anxiety, including SPACE small groups and one-on-one interventions, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT CHILDHOOD ANXIETY:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the creator of SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) Dr. Eli Lebowitz
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using SPACE to treat ARFID with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about when it may be time for a mental health intervention to help your child manage their anxiety symptoms
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating your child's anxiety with Dr. Terri Bacow
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
After the birth of her daughter, Catherine Price noticed a disconnect—her baby was looking up at her, while she was looking down at her phone. This sparked her interest in understanding why our phones are so hard to put down, what that’s doing to our memory, creativity, and overall lived experience, and how we can break free from the grip of technology to live more intentional lives.
In this episode we explore:
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Catherine’s definition of fun: The overlapping of playfulness, connection, and flow. Plus, how understanding each can help us experience genuine fun that refills our buckets.
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When our jobs don’t have a clear start time and end time, it can become addicting to staying connected 24/7. Tune in for specific strategies to intentionally combat this.
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Catherine coaches Dr. Sarah through the relatable struggles she and so many parents experience when attempting to put down the phone (Sneak peek: it’s taken her 6 months to plug in the alarm clock she bought instead of using her phone next to her bed.)
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An easy first step people can take to cut the cord with their phone.
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Strategies for when and how to communicate with your kids about screen time (that don’t cause them to shut down or feel defensive). Plus, how to break down the process of getting your kid their first phone into smaller steps that usher them more gradually into the digital world.
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Setting appropriate tech boundaries that honor your family's values while also taking into consideration how much of kids’ social lives are facilitated through technology today.
Listen now for insights and actionable tips to help you free yourself from your screens to have more fun!
LEARN MORE ABOUT CATHERINE PRICE:
https://catherineprice.com/
READ CATHERINE'S BOOKS:
📚 The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again
📚 How to Break Up with Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life
JOIN CATHERINE'S SUBSTACK:
📖 How to Feel Alive with Catherine Price
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
👉🏻 Click HERE to sign up for Dr. Sarah's newsletter to find out if she is able to complete Catherine’s challenge to take her phone out of her bedroom for the weekend!
🤳 Opal - The app Dr. Sarah said she uses to help her manage her screen time.
📱 ScreenZen, Brick, and Unpluq- Products Catherine recommends to help people manage their screen use.
📺 Watch Diane Sawyer's ABC News report, Screen Time
📳 Pinwheel, Gabb, and Troomi - Kid and teen phones Catherine mentions in the episode.
📚 Read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt and the The New York Times essay, Gen Z Has Regrets by Jonathan Haidt and Will Johnson
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte
🎧 How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker
🎧 What are the do’s and don’t for introducing screens to my toddler?
🎧 Helping our children form a healthy relationship to technology with Emily Cherkin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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Understanding the basics of your child's cognitive development can help inform what you do to soothe them when they have a hard time transitioning to daycare each morning.
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How important your own calm nervous system is for helping your child feel safe.
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What to do in the moment at drop off when your child is crying, struggling, or having a hard time settling in.
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What you can do outside the heat of the moment to build your child's ability to separate from you and relieve some of the stress surrounding going to daycare that they feel.
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What a warm handoff looks like and how you can work with the daycare providers to create an environment that makes it easier for your child to say goodbye.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Read my blog for helping your child transition to a new daycare
🎶 Listen with your child to the Daniel Tiger song, Grownups Come Back
🎧 Tune in to my podcast interview with Eileen Henry on getting toddlers to stay in their own bed at night
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Dr. Sterling, ObGyn and founder of Sterling Parents, dives deep into the complex relationship between stress, trauma, pregnancy, and birth.
In this episode we explore:
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The impact of stress and anxiety on fetal development and pregnancy outcomes.
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What birth trauma is, how frequently it occurs, and common symptoms people may feel (and may not even realize is trauma).
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Dr. Sterling shares her own deeply personal and inspiring experience struggling with and working to heal from the trauma she experienced after the birth of her first child.
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Why so many women downplay and minimize their symptoms, and how this can inadvertently be a block to their healing.
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Practical tips for what you can do during pregnancy to reduce the potential risk of experiencing birth trauma.
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Steps you can take immediately after birth, or even years later, to begin healing from trauma.
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You do not have one shot at having an empowering birth - how to make meaning of what happened to you so you can shift your birth trauma into a positive experience for yourself!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. STERLING:
https://sterlingparents.com/about-us/
JOIN DR. STERLING'S MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM:
https://sterlingparents.com/waitlist/
ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:
🤳 DOWNLOAD my free postpartum mental health checklist
🎧 LISTEN to my first interview with Dr. Sterling about the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy and postpartum
🎧 LISTEN to an episode about using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with the creators of The Mothercentric Approach
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PARENTING COACHING AND INDIVIDUAL THERAPY?
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring support options, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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The urge may be to talk your child out of thinking they're "dumb," but it can be helpful to stay with this feeling and lean into being curious about her experience.
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How to zoom out and determine if your child is speaking out of frustration and is just emoting or if they actually have internalized that they think they aren't smart.
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How to talk with your child in a way that helps build back their confidence in themself when they are struggling to learn something new, like reading.
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We also want to try not to catastrophize this situation either - just because your child is saying this doesn't mean they will permanently have a poor self-image.
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You can boost your child's self-confidence by feeling confident in their ability to handle the challenges they face.
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How to get clear with your kid about what they think "smart" and "dumb" means, and building flexibility around those ideas.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
📚 BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity by Ruth Whippman
🎥 Inside Out and Inside Out 2
WANT TO LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES ON THIS TOPIC:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child says "I hate myself"
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning styles and what the research reveals are the best methods for teaching children with Dan Willingham
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangerous and pressures of achievement centered systems with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
How can you honor who your child is while still equipping them with the tools they need to thrive in our fast-paced world?
That's exactly what I'm talking about with my guest, McCourtney Professor of Child Studies and Professor of Psychology at Penn State, Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar.
In this episode, we dive into:
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What temperament actually is from a psychological standpoint (it’s probably not what you think it is!) and the factors professionals use to measure and map it out.
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What impact temperament has on the way sensitive, shy, or explosive children regulate their emotions and respond to their environment.
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How parents can create opportunities for their child to become self-actualized and why focusing on self-actualization is the precursor to helping them achieve and thrive.
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Inhibited versus exuberant - how finding the right niche for a child’s unique temperament can define their success, even if it doesn’t align with traditional expectations.
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How to find that middle ground between pushing your child when they need a bit of encouragement and nurturing them when they need more support and scaffolding.
Tune in for valuable insights that will help you navigate the complexities of parenting with more confidence and compassion!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. KORALY PÉREZ-EDGAR:
https://www.catlabpsu.com/our-team-1
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How understanding your child's sensory sensitivities can strengthen their emotional intelligence with Alyssa Blask Campbell
🎧 Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center
🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
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How there is a lot of weight put on attending all the birthdays your child gets invited to, and hear us share a permission-granting reframe you can tell yourself when you feel that pressure.
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How to work toward identifying the aspect of birthday parties that are overwhelming for your child - and what the most common triggers are (like transitions, loud sounds, lots of kids) to help you get started.
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Why it actually makes sense that this is so hard for parents when kids struggle with birthday parties. What social stakes are at play, and how to balance those with what is best for your kid.
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How to celebrate the birthday boy or girl in a manner that is more realistic for your child, but that allows them to still feel included and fosters their peer relationships.
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What you can do before the birthday party to help prepare your child for what they can expect and how to navigate their dysregulation if they get overwhelmed once you're there.
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Two psychologist-mom's recommendations of exactly how to respond (when to nurture them and when to push them) when your child gets clingy at a birthday party.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SIMILAR TOPICS:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child form strong friendship bonds with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what you can do when your child experiences peer rejection in elementary school
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
I'm joined by Dr. Vanessa Lapointe to discuss effective discipline strategies and how to approach those tough parenting moments with warmth, compassion, and understanding - for yourself and your child.
In this episode, we dive into:
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The profound impact of coregulation and why it's a crucial first step we don't want to skip if we want the discipline and lessons we're trying to teach our kids to stick.
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How to navigate those “bad behavior” moments by rethinking the entire framework of discipline (Spoiler Alert: It starts with a mindset shift to help you understand how there is actually no such thing as “bad" behaviors.)
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The up-side of having a more sensitive, reactive, or explosive kid - and how to nurture their more sensitive side to bring out their best qualities and help them manage their big emotions so they are more in control of their behaviors.
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The powerful role of connection in discipline, including how to create a safe space where your child can learn and grow, even in the midst of challenging behaviors.
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Strategies for parents struggling to keep their cool, working through feelings of guilt or shame, and understanding that it's never too late to implement new parenting approaches.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by traditional discipline methods or wondered how to discipline your child in a way that strengthens your bond, this episode is for you!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. VANESSA LAPOINTE:
https://drvanessalapointe.com/
READ DR. VANESSA'S BOOKS:
📚 Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up
📚 Parenting Right From the Start: Laying a Healthy Foundation in the Baby and Toddler Years
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT DISCIPLINE?
Click HERE to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 Positive parenting isn’t permissive parenting: How to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and mental health with Sarah R. Moore
🎧 How to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan
🎧 Busting positive parenting myths to help you authentically foster secure attachment and connection with Raised Good's Tracy Gillett
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
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Who can assess, evaluate, and diagnose neuropsychological diagnosises like ADHD, dyslexia, autism, etc., and how to go about getting one for your child if you don’t have a formal diagnosis yet.
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The benefits of a comprehensive evaluation, when your child might not need such an in-depth approach, and how to determine which is right for your unique child.
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Navigating the school support system and what they are required to provide for you and your child after you make a formal request.
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The basic differences between an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) versus a 504 plan.
✨✨✨Want more details?: CLICK HERE to read a blog article that breaks this all down for you.✨✨✨
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What are soft-building services and how your child’s teacher can implement these tools to help your child thrive.
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It can be helpful for parents to work with an advocate in this process - this can reduce anxiety and to allow you to have a dedicated person with a deep understanding of this process and your child’s rights to advocate on their behalf.
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What to do when the recommendations from your child’s evaluation don’t correspond with the services your child’s school provides - and when to bring in a professional to help translate this jargon for you.
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Never apologize for advocating for your child! It can help you feel more comfortable and empowered to go into these meetings with action items and knowing what you’re asking for.
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Working to come together to create a collaborative environment with your school system, your child’s teachers, and your mental health professional.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring more personalized support options, reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SIMILAR TOPICS:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a child with Autism with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel comfortable utilizing school supports without feeling self-conscious
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about creating a secure attachment with your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Is your child explosive? Do you struggle to keep your own emotions in-check, then feel guilty after you lose your cool?
We're all working with the same equipment and understanding the basics of what is happening in our kid's brains and our own brains when we get dysregulated can have a huge impact on how often we're able to stay calm in the face of life's chaos.
I am honored to be joined once again by Dr. Dan Siegel to explore:
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The "window of tolerance" - what it is and how to use it to help you and your child stay grounded, even during stressful moments.
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Dan performs a visceral Yes/No Exercise that listeners can follow along with to become a more effective regulator of your own threat response.
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There is no such thing as being perfect, real secure attachment boils down to proper repair after you lose your cool. We cover the most effective strategies and tools for facilitating repair in your relationship with your child.
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Everyone has innate temperament and personality traits (like sensitivity, intensity of their reactions, and their response to novelty), but do those proclivities become intensified by our attachment relationships?
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How to apply these strategies to kids who don’t fit the mold - who are sensitive, explosive, neurodiverse, or quick to become dysregulated.
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Dan’s views as a psychiatrist on how medication and clinical interventions can be properly used with children.
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How to look at any diagnosis from the perspective of integration versus disintegration - and by looking at it this way, what that means for treatment.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. DAN SIEGEL:
https://drdansiegel.com/
A FEW OF DAN'S BOOKS FOR PARENTS TO GET STARTED WITH:
📚 Parenting from the Inside Out
📚 The Whole-Brain Child
📚 The Power of Showing Up
📚 No-Drama Discipline
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel
🎧 How to use mindfulness for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston
🎧 How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
3:49 - How a child’s developmental ability to conceptualize time is different than adults’ and how this gets in the way of them sharing our sense of urgency.
6:58 - Kids often have trouble transitioning to things they don't want to do, we'll talk through strategies for helping them tolerate this better.
8:10 - The difference between a bribe and a positive reward, and when to use each.
10:45 - How integrating moments into the routine that promote autonomy and help your child feel a deeper sense of control can make a big difference.
12:25 - How Dr. Sarah adds elements of playfulness and gamification into the routine with her own kids.
18:55 - There is a huge tradeoff to our kid's mental health if they are obedient because they are are afraid of us - but that doesn't mean it wouldn't make parenting easier.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
⏰ Kids Visual Timer or Sand Timers to help your child learn about time
📖 My FREE workbook with 6 games to help you incorporate playfulness while teaching your child emotion regulation skills
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that covers a 10-step framework for getting your child to change their behavior in just 3 weeks
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child doesn't listen to you
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bribery
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
In this episode, I’m sitting down with hostage and crisis negotiator Karleen Savage to share practical strategies to help you manage conflict and family dynamics.
In this episode, we explore:
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Crisis Negotiation at Home: How to apply professional conflict resolution techniques to everyday parenting challenges.
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Encouraging Accountability: A framework for structuring conversations with your child that fosters honesty, responsibility, and effective communication skills.
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The Role of Playfulness in Discipline: The surprising power of levity and humor in diffusing tense situations and helping kids learn from their mistakes.
-
Mantras for Success: How to meet your children where they are emotionally, helping them navigate conflicts while feeling understood and supported.
-
Building Resilience: Practical tips for creating an environment that promotes self-awareness, confidence, and problem-solving skills in your kids.
Tune in to get tools you can use to turn conflicts into growth opportunities for your whole family!
LEARN MORE ABOUT KARLEEN SAVAGE:
https://www.karleensavage.com/
READ KARLEEN'S BOOK:
📚 The Confident Teen Blueprint
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 How to resolve conflict, prioritize our needs, and set appropriate boundaries with Dr. Rick Hanson
🎧 How to talk so your teen will listen with Elizabeth Bennett
🎧 Fostering deep, authentic and connected conversations with your kids with Rebecca Rolland
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
4:38 - What Dr. Sarah says about assertiveness skills that causes Dr. Rebecca to have a major eye-roll moment.
6:08 - The assertiveness skills that you can expect to see at different stages of your child's development - and how to allow these things to shift, change, and be fluid.
7:02 - Understanding what is happening in your toddler and young child's brain as they grow, so you can be mindful of leaning into patterns that create neural connections that can serve them best throughout their life.
11:15 - Exactly when and how to step in when you observe an interpersonal conflict that supports your child while still allowing them to build their own problem-solving skills.
16:15 - How to build assertiveness skills outside the heat of the moment. And why these can also impact skills related to sharing, flexibility, and resilience.
22:43 - Strategies for parenting in a world where we have so much access to always be monitoring our kids - when it's helpful and when it becomes a hindrance for us and for them.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 All Mine by Terrific Toddlers
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SIMILAR TOPICS?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler learn to share
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler feel seen, validated, and understood with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about having a healthy relationship with technology with Emily Cherkin
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Are you feeling overwhelmed with all the conflicting parenting advice out there? In this episode, I'm joined by Raised Good's Tracy Gillett to discuss how one simple guiding principle can serve as your parenting compass.
In this episode, we explore:
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How the attachment relationship comes into play when our kids are “pushing our buttons” and what we can do to decrease how often they test the limits.
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What rupture and repair is and how this can be an underrated and incredibly impactful strategy to utilize in to strengthen your connection with your child.
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The empowering mindset shift you need to start “breaking the rules” and trusting your gut, plus how to get past the anxiety that can come with making these decisions.
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The single overarching question you can use as your guiding compass (spoiler alert: it’s all about connection) to inform what to do for every single parenting question and choice you’re faced with throughout your child’s life.
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The trap we can find ourselves in between authenticity and attachment, and how to help our kids avoid those same pitfalls we may have experienced in our own childhoods.
-
The misconception that you must choose between connection and discipline, and exactly how we can effectively discipline our kids.
-
Practical strategies for building your parenting toolbox, like how and when to “bank connection,” where to incorporate playfulness, and much more!
Whether you're new to parenting or looking to deepen your connection with your kids, this conversation will offer valuable insights and practical tips on how to parent with intention and authenticity.
LEARN MORE ABOUT TRACY GILLETT:
https://raisedgood.com/
REGISTER FOR THE FREE RAISED GOOD ONLINE SUMMIT:
https://raisedgood.com/online-summit-2024
LEARN MORE ABOUT TIMEOUTS AND EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE:
📚 READ Tracy's blog post
🤳 DOWNLOAD my free effective discipline guide
🎧 LISTEN to my podcast interview with Sarah R. Moore
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
🎧 How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele
🎧 How nurturing shapes our child's brain and sets them up for lifelong mental health with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum
🎧 How to use the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall and stay asleep with Eileen Henry
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:48 - The changes a 5th grader, Henry, is expecting are in store for him before the start of a new school year and how he feels about them.
4:22 - What it feels like to meet new people and how a kid views making new friends.
5:13 - The one thing Henry thinks would help him feel ready for the start of school, and what he thinks all parents should know would help your own kids.
8:04 - The most helpful tools and strategies he uses that help him stay focused in the classroom and how he talk to his teachers to get them to understand why these things are useful for him.
11:05 - How he calms his nerves during the summer before he knows who his teacher is, the other kids who will be in his class, and what he can expect in the fall.
13:38 - What makes him feel supported most by his parents when a kid at school is mean to him and what Henry thinks are the best thing other parents can do with their own kids.
19:26 - Managing technology, navigating group texts, and what his group of friends do during their in-person hang outs.
WANT TO LISTEN TO SIMILAR PODCAST EPISODES:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping our kids form strong friendships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about handling peer rejection in early adolescence with Dr. Emily Upshur
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking to your child, tween, and teen in a way that helps them truly hear you with Elizabeth Bennett
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Is potty training causing your stress or anxiety? I’m unpacking everything you need to know to help your child learn to use the potty with more confidence and ease.
In this episode, we explore:
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Readiness Signs: What to look for physically, behaviorally, and emotionally to know if your child is ready to start potty training.
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Setting the Stage: What to do before you start potty training to create a supportive environment that encourages independence and reduces pressure around the potty.
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How to Potty Train: Practical tips and personal stories of how to actually start potty learning once you've determined your child is ready.
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Navigating Accidents and Setbacks: How to stay calm and empathetic during the inevitable ups and downs, and when taking a break might be the best next step.
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Avoiding Common Pitfalls: Why reward systems might not be the best approach, and what to do to foster intrinsic motivation instead.
Whether you're just starting or already in the thick of it, this episode offers you a compassionate and realistic approach to getting your child to start using the bathroom.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 A conversation about pediatric pelvic health with Quiara Smith
🎧 How to use the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall and stay asleep with Eileen Henry
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
3:40 - As a culture, we don't often talk about the way the body works and it can be shocking for parents when we see our young child have an erection or explore what feels good to them.
4:50 - Finding that in-between space between understanding that this isn't sexual at this age and also acknowledging that this feels good.
7:38 - When, where, and how it's best to have these conversations with your child.
9:22 - Understanding that kids sometimes touch their private parts as a way for self-soothing can help you identify if they are doing that in public as a means to regulate and how you can support that need in a more appropriate manner.
13:55 - We don't want to infuse shame in exploring your body, but hand-in-hand with that comes addressing safe and healthy boundaries.
17:58 - Understanding the nuances of privacy.
WANT TO LEARN MORE THIS TOPIC?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sexual abuse prevention and teaching body safety to children with Feather Berkower
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising your child to be sex positive with Dr. Holly Richmond
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
What if the key to unlocking your full potential lies in a part of your body that’s often overlooked and misunderstood? This week we're diving into the transformative world of holistic pelvic care with Tami Lynn Kent.
In this episode, we explore:
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Integrating Eastern and Western Approaches: The importance of integrating both physical therapy for the pelvic floor as well as energetic practices, like breath work and meditation to help women connect with their pelvic regions.
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Addressing Gaps in Female Healthcare: Highlighting significant gaps in female healthcare and the importance of understanding the anatomy of the pelvic bowl to empower women.
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Supporting Mothers: What it means to "mother from your center" and how to tap into this in your parenting.
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Feminine versus Masculine Energy: The importance of understanding and balancing feminine and masculine energy within ourselves.
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Practical Tips for Pelvic Health: Practical advice for integrating holistic pelvic care into your daily life, emphasizing the importance of tuning into your body and harnessing your innate wisdom.
Join us for this enlightening episode as we delve into the vital topic of pelvic health and discover how to better support and honor our bodies.
LEARN MORE ABOUT TAMI LYNN KENT:
https://www.wildfeminine.com/
PICK UP A COPY OF TAMI'S BOOKS:
📚 Wild Feminine: Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body
📚 Wild Creative: Igniting Your Passion and Potential in Work, Home, and Life
📚 Wild Mothering: Finding Power, Spirit, and Joy in Birth and a Creative Motherhood
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 Cycle syncing, restorative practices, and natural rhythms with Dr. Jessica Plancich Shinners
🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel
🎧 Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
3:02 - The combination of a child who loves eating and a mom's anxiety about how much she is eating can be tricky.
4:04 - Strategies for slowing down mealtimes to build your child's ability for "tuning into their belly" versus just enjoying the taste of the food.
5:29 - What types and methods of restrictions are appropriate and which ones do you want to try to avoid.
10:42 - Understanding what is your job as a parent and what is your child's job, from the division of responsibility principles from Ellyn Satter's work.
12:14 - Limiting foods that are highly enhanced to make the flavors so rewarding that hunger/fullness cues are easily drowned out by the desire for more dopamine hits.
16:51 - Zoom out and look at meals of the week versus each individual meal.
17:44 - If your child does eat too much and feels uncomfortable from being too full, that can help them learn too.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition by Ellyn Satter
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MEALTIMES AND FOSTERING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS TO FOOD:
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about cultivating your child's healthy relationship with food with registered dietician & nutritionist Katie Thomson
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about picky eating and ARFID with Dr. Yaara Shimshoni
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about diet culture with Amelia Sherry
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
Are you worried about your child’s lack of motivation or their constant struggle to keep up? This week I'm diving into the complexities of child motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten.
In this episode we explore:
👉🏻 Impact of COVID-19: The pandemic's role in exacerbating motivational challenges and what we can do to combat it.
👉🏻 Attachment Myths: Common misconceptions about attachment and the importance of separating parental anxieties from a child's development.
👉🏻 Fostering Responsibility: Practical strategies for helping children develop a sense of responsibility and self-efficacy without excessive pressure.
👉🏻 Balancing External and Intrinsic Motivation: How to encourage intrinsic motivation in children while appropriately using external rewards.
👉🏻 Rediscovering Pleasure: The importance of integrating pleasure into daily tasks for both parents and children, and how it influences motivation.
Join us for this enlightening and practical episode as we uncover the keys to unlocking motivation and supporting the well-being of our children!
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. ELLEN BRAATEN
https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/
GET DR. ELLEN BRAATEN'S NEWEST BOOK:
Bright Kids Who Couldn't Care Less: How to Rekindle Your Child's Motivation
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace
🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham
🎧 Is fun the antidote to burnout with Dr. Mike Rucker
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
1:40 - A mental health professional can help you determine whether you should start with parenting support or individual therapy for your young child.
3:05 - Understanding the therapeutic support options available for young kids.
6:05 - Having a parent present during the beginning of sessions can help facilitate and strengthen a therapeutic alliance between the child and the therapist more quickly.
10:32 - What you can expect from parent-child dyadic sessions with a therapist - building trust, increasing frustration tolerance, containing emotions, strengthen your attachment, and more.
16:27 - Having a thorough and comprehensive intake is key for finding a treatment plan that is best suited for your child and your family's unique needs.
19:10 - It's okay to speak up, push back, and be an advocate for your child if you feel the support your receiving is not properly helping them.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PARENTING COACHING AND INDIVIDUAL THERAPY?
👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Get ready for an enlightening conversation with Dr. Jessica Plancich Shinners as we explore the importance of cycle syncing, self-care, and holistic health.
In this episode, we delve into:
Whole Mind-Body Health: Insights into the importance of caring for our minds, bodies, and spirit in an integrated and holistic manner.
Biological and Evolutionary Perspectives: The natural caregiving instincts biologically hardwired in women and how leaning into these evolutionary traits can enhance our well-being.
Menstrual Cycle Awareness: A comprehensive guide to aligning self-care practices with the phases of the menstrual cycle, harnessing its power to enhance physical, emotional, and relational health.
Parental Guidance: Tips for educating ourselves and our daughters about the significance of our natural rhythms.
This episode is packed with wisdom, compassion, and actionable advice for women and mothers looking to live a more balanced, intentional, and fulfilling life.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JESSICA PLANCICH SHINNERS:
www.fiercegraceconsulting.com
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 The neuroscience of mindfulness with Dr. Dan Siegel
🎧 Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz
🎧 Is fun the antidote to burnout with Dr. Mike Rucker
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:00 - Love languages help us contextualize how we can attune in our relationships and that reminds us that what we need may be different from what another person needs to feel connected.
6:22 - Love languages is a simpler way to break down the principles of reflective functioning.
9:50 - Understanding the 5 love languages: Words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
14:44 - How love languages can be applied to the parent-child relationship.
19:20 - What Theory of Mind is and how it can be applied in your daily parenting.
21:46 - Dr. Sarah, Dr. Emily, and Dr. Rebecca share their love languages and how they receive and give love in their own lives.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Joining me this week is researcher, entrepreneur, and dedicated father, Wynford Dore. In this deeply personal and enlightening conversation, Wynford shares his transformative journey from successful businessman to pioneering advocate for neurodiversity, sparked by his daughter’s struggles with learning difficulties.
In this episode, we explore:
Uncovering the Root Causes: Groundbreaking research revealing that many neurodiverse symptoms stem from an underdeveloped cerebellum and how this understanding can change our approach to treatment.
Holistic Brain Development: A shift from pathologizing symptoms to a holistic view of the brain, focusing on what is working and how to build on those strengths.
Practical Applications: How targeted exercises can improve fine motor skills, eye-tracking, and other critical functions, transforming the lives of those with neurodiverse brains.
Educational Insights: The current state of education for neurodiverse students, the importance of teacher support, and proactive, preventative measures to better assist these children.
This episode is an essential listen for parents, educators, and anyone interested in the future of mental health and cognitive development.
LEARN MORE ABOUT ZING PERFORMANCE:
https://www.zingperformance.com/
GET WYNFORD'S BOOK:
Stop Struggling In School: The Secret Brain Reset for Children with Reading, Learning or Behaviour Problems
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 ADHD and attachment security with Dr. Norrine Russell
🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without-feeling self-conscious?
🎧 Treating Autism with a strength-based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel
Join me for an enlightening episode as we delve into the complexities of parenting and relationships with couples therapist Dr. Marina Rosenthal.
In this episode, we explore:
Differing Parenting Styles: We shed light on the stress that arises when partners have different parenting styles, values, or standards and strategies for communicating so neither parent feels criticized.
Navigating Conflicts: Practical strategies for couples to build insight into their parenting patterns, emphasizes that there are multiple good ways to parent and highlighting the importance of recognizing shared values despite differing standards.
Managing Resentment and Communication: Tips on managing resentment and building a system that works for the family through effective communication and modeling healthy conflict resolution in front of your children.
Balancing Control and Flexibility: The balance between maintaining control over parenting practices and allowing flexibility for different approaches, ensuring that children grow up in a supportive and resilient environment.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. MARINA ROSENTHAL:
https://www.drmarinarosenthal.com/
GET MARINA'S FREE RESOURCES THAT SHE MENTIONS IN THE EPISODE:
https://stan.store/drmarinarosenthal
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 The parallels between couples and family therapy, my first conversation with Dr. Marina Rosenthal
🎧 96. Balancing the load of parenthood: Becoming a team with your partner-in-parenting with Lauren A. Tetenbaum
🎧 144. Couple goals: Unlocking the secrets to a thriving partnership as you parent together with Dr. Suzanne Burger
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:23 - The developmental appropriateness of independent play - it might not last as long as our culture might lead you to believe it should.
4:25 - To foster independence, you might have to first allow your child to be dependent on you. (And the psychology of how and why this actually works!)
7:05 - The difference between independent play versus "why can't they play quietly so I can take a phone call?"
10:12 - In our culture, we're often taught that we should always be engaging, stimulating, and entertaining our kids to help them reach their full potential.
11:40 - When we say "play" what we really mean is exploration and engagement and by understanding this, it shifts what we think our role is in this interaction.
12:30 - How to foster independent play with older kids if you didn't start building this skill from a young age.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PLAY?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with The Workspace for Children's Lizzie Assa
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with Jennie Monness
🎧 Listen to our BTS discussion about enrichment classes and brain development
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT RIE (RESOURCES FOR INFANT EDUCARERS)?
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using RIE with babies with Deborah Carlisle Solomon
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about evolving RIE into respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Click here to download my FREE Mental Health Postpartum Checklist that walks you through creating a personalized mental health support system and allows you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
2:15 - Catharsis theory, letting out our feelings of anger, frustrating, or rage with aggressive behaviors (that do not hurt others) can be beneficial.
3:20 - Does teaching aggressive behaviors, even socially acceptable ones like punching a pillow, lead our kids' brains to pair their angry urges with aggressive actions?
7:52 - Working to understand the root of your child's anger can inform how you respond to each unique situation and the strategies you teach them to tap into to regulate their nervous system.
14:18 - If you want to mitigate children pairing aggressive urges with aggressive behaviors, try offering them a wide range of coping strategies so that doesn't become their automatic, go-to response.
17:20 - Going through the full fight-or-flight response can prevent us from storing these negative emotions inside of our body.
20:13 - Finding the middle ground that works best for your unique family - not encouraging explosive behaviors while also not always repressing your child's (and your own) anger.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
Additional podcast episodes on the topic of anger:
- The science of “mom-rage” and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
We’re diving into the complexities of raising boys during a transformative time in history with our special guest, Ruth Whippman. Ruth is an acclaimed author whose latest book, BoyMom, masterfully blends memoir, cultural critique, and reporting.
In this episode, we explore:
Brain Development: The differences in brain development between boys and girls, highlighting why baby boys need more intensive caregiving in their early months and how these differences impact emotional regulation and attachment.
Cultural and Social Influences: Insights into contemporary boyhood, including the evolution of feminism, the #metoo movement, and the nature vs. nurture debate in the development of boys versus girls.
Emotional and Relational Intelligence: The importance of teaching boys emotional intelligence and relational skills to mitigate the report of a loneliness epidemic that teen boys and young adult men are facing.
Early Attachment Relationships: Understanding the importance of early attachment relationships and how they set the blueprint for future interpersonal skills and emotional well-being.
Practical Parenting Strategies: Realistic advice for parents on how to foster empathy, emotional intelligence, and strong moral values in boys, moving beyond traditional gender norms.
Join us for this enlightening and heartfelt episode as we delve into the essential work of redefining masculinity and creating a more emotionally inclusive world for our boys.
LEARN MORE ABOUT RUTH:
https://www.ruthwhippman.com/
GET RUTH'S LATEST BOOK:
BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 02. Attachment theory and fostering secure attachment relationships
🎧 140. How understanding our child's sensory sensitivities can help us strengthen their emotional intelligence with Alyssa Blask Campbell
🎧 24. The psychology behind dysregulation with Cara Goodwin
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
2:49 - Sharing information in an honest and developmentally appropriate way is helpful for kids, so it can be empowering to tell your child the name of the diagnosis.
3:50 - Want to learn more about helping kids feel comfortable and confident taking advantage of school supports? Listen to the podcast episode we reference in this conversation.
6:24 - Suggestions for specific language you can use to speak to your child about a diagnosis.
9:54 - When is the right time to share this with your child who received this diagnosis as well as their siblings?
10:45 - It's important not to avoid talking about the diagnosis or the symptoms with your child, which can inadvertently communicate to them that we don't think they can handle it.
14:41 - If your child is older, how to bring up this conversation and repair anything that they may have inferred and encourage open and honest conversation going forward.
19:00 - How to support the non-afflicted sibling so they know it's okay for them to take up space and also help them feel empathetic for their sibling that takes up a lot of space.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
We're talking about pregnancy, fitness, and mental health!
Joining me is Dr. Megan Roche. Megan received her medical degree from Stanford University, is the co-founder of the running coaching group Some Work All Play, and is currently pregnant with her second child.
In this episode, we explore:
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Navigating Confusing Guidelines: We tackle the often confusing and sometimes scary guidelines around pregnancy and exercise. Megan demystifies the do's and don'ts and emphasizes the importance of balancing science with your own intuition to help you make the best decisions for your health.
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Mental Health and Exercise: Understand the profound connection between mental health and physical activity during pregnancy and throughout parenthood.
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Practical Movement Strategies: Realistic and relatable tips for incorporating movement into your busy life, especially for parents who often find themselves at the bottom of their own priority list.
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Community and Support Systems: Discover the value of having a supportive community, whether through social media, local groups, or friends and family, to help maintain motivation and accountability.
Join us for this inspiring and informative episode that blends scientific research with deeply personal stories, all aimed at empowering you to stay active, healthy, and happy during pregnancy and well into parenthood!
LEARN MORE ABOUT MEGAN:
Megan Roche
LEARN MORE ABOUT SOME WORK ALL PLAY:
https://swaprunning.com/
LISTEN TO MEGAN'S PODCAST, SOME WORK ALL PLAY:
https://swaprunning.com/podcast
DOWNLOAD MY FREE POSTPARTUM MENTAL HEALTH CHECKLIST:
➡️ Interactive workbook to create your personalized mental health checklist
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL RELATED EPISODES:
🎧 Preparing your mind and body for pregnancy, birth and postpartum with Brooke Cates
🎧 Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz
🎧 Addressing the crushing weight of parenthood: How to lighten the load in pregnancy and parenthood with Dr. Christine Sterling
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:10 - In June there is often an influx of "end of the school year" activities, performances, and events added on top of our already packed schedules.
5:32 - School is winding down, we're starting to feel energized by the thought of summer, but we're also still confined to the school-year schedule.
7:30 - Practical strategies to make the end of the year more streamlined and manageable with your partner in parenting.
9:21 - How to set yourself and your kids up for success and communicate with your kids' school and teachers.
11:30 - Leaning into your community for things like carpooling, logistical support, and strategically figuring out how as a group you can take some tasks off your plate.
12:36 - Evaluating and being flexible with your child's evening and sleep routine.
19:19 - Be open to reevaluating and revising the plan when things aren't going as smoothly as you might want.
RESOURCES WE REFERENCE IN THE EPISODE:
🥱 In the episode I talked about giving my kids Hiya Kids Bedtime Essential vitamins. This isn't a sponsored product, I just really love this company. Check them out if you're interested, but make sure to always consult your child's pediatrician before you give them any supplements or medications.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT GETTING ORGANIZED:
🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to implement systems and schedules with Chelsi Jo
🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about dividing responsibilities with your partner with Lauren A. Tetenbaum
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
In this episode, sleep specialist Eileen Henry and I discuss a common challenge: how to get your child to make it all the way through the night in their own bed.
Eileen helps us unravel this complex issue by addressing:
- Assessing the Situation: When to let it be and when to make a change.
- Understanding Motivations: Identifying whether the desire to reclaim your bed is for personal space, relationship reasons, or concerns about your child's development.
- Balancing Needs: The importance of ensuring everyone gets quality sleep and how this impacts overall family wellbeing.
- Setting and Holding Boundaries: Strategies to help your child transition to their own bed while maintaining emotional security.
- Attunement and Emotional Health: Teaching kids to recognize and respond to negative emotions in a healthy way.
- Practical Tips and Tools: Using physical boundaries like gates, incorporating dress rehearsals for bedtime, and the power of storytelling and play in easing transitions.
Whether you're struggling with co-sleeping, managing separation anxiety, or just seeking better sleep for your family, this episode is packed with practical advice and compassionate support!
LEARN MORE ABOUT EILEEN HENRY:
https://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/
BOOK A CONSULTATION WITH EILEEN HENRY:
https://compassionatesleepsolutions.com/free-consultation-process/
DOWNLOAD MY FREE TODDLER SLEEP GUIDE:
7 ways to help create a more peaceful and effective nighttime routine
LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES WITH EILEEN HENRY:
Navigating sleep with a baby
The basics of toddler sleep
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL EPISODES WE REFERENCED:
RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) from birth with Deborah Carlisle Solomon
Evolving the principles of RIE to grow into respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury
Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Eli Lebowitz
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:50 - It's very developmentally typical for toddlers to have trouble with sharing and also there are things you can do to encourage and build this skill.
7:25 - At 2.5 years-old, kids will likely need an adult to narrate and also facilitate the sharing so they learn how it's done.
11:40 - Kids can become territorial at this age, so it can be helpful to have playdates at neutral places, like a park or a playground.
13:40 - When you see your child start to get territorial, try to see this as an indicator that they need to take a break rather than a cue to teach them the importance of sharing - that can be done later, when they are more regulated and in control.
16:47 - To build the skill of sharing, it's helpful to break this down into smaller tasks like tolerating frustration, setting healthy boundaries, and perspective taking.
19:30 - We also want to be mindful not to encourage our kids to share without any limitations or we risk them feeling compelled to become more of a people pleaser.
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN PARENT YOUR DAUGHTER SO SHE DOESN’T BECOME A PEOPLE PLEASER?
Listen to the podcast episode we reference in this conversation
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:27 - Reframe your goal from being about maintaining the specific friendships to be about maintaining the social skills your child has acquired over the school year instead.
4:13 - Using summer as your child's opportunity to get to try something new and allow them to explore different parts of themselves.
6:26 - If a child has struggled in the past, the friendships they have may feel precious and fragile now, and that can make kids and parents alike feel anxious that this might go away.
10:12 - It's helpful not to measure your child's social success based on their age and encourage them to have friends who are a year or two younger, if that they are lacking some social skills.
14:43 - Tangible tips you can implement to support your child's social skills and encourage their building and maintaining deep friendships.
19:10 - Having a plan-b with a singular person activity can be helpful for your child to have in their back pocket to play with if they struggle to join into a social group.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Reduce stress around mealtimes and help your child be more flexible with what they eat!
Joining me today is Dr. Yaara Shimshoni, a clinical psychologist and an associate research scientist at the Yale School of Medicine, Child Study Center.
We'll explore the complexities of Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) and its distinction from typical picky eating. Yaara will detail how this severe eating disorder impacts children's health and social lives, and offer practical strategies for parents to reduce stress around mealtimes, encourage flexibility in eating habits, and break the cycle of accommodation that often exacerbates these issues.
Plus, we'll help parents take the guiding principles of a therapy approach called SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), and learn how to apply it with kids who are showing more normative picky eating challenges, that are not clinical, but still can be frustrating and exasperating for parents to navigate.
LEARN MORE ABOUT YARRA:
Yaara Shimshoni
WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SPACE, CHECK OUT MY INTERVIEW WITH THE CREATOR, DR. ELI LEBOWITZ:
Listen to the episode
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:53 - What "positive parenting" really is from a psychological perspective.
4:20 - Our child's development is not always linear, it's important to consider their regulation level and other situational factors when we set our expectations of them.
5:20 - As parents, we're often more triggered when our elementary-aged and older kids exhibit "bad behaviors."
7:19 - How to have a productive conversation with your child to pregame, collaboratively problem solve, and reflect on hot moments together once they are back in a regulated state.
9:10 - For older kids, you may need more structured behavioral interventions beyond just validating emotions and reflecting their feelings back to them.
14:17 - How to tailor your parenting approach to your unique child, rather than just accepting universal parenting strategies that may not be a good fit for you and your family.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
From neurological changes during pregnancy to the demands of parenthood, we explore the science behind "mom-rage" and how mindfulness can help rewire our responses.
Here to help us explore the meaning behind anger, the difference between reactivity and responsiveness, and practical steps to navigate mom-rage with grace and understanding is Diana Winston. Diana is the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center and is the author of The Little Book of Being: Practices and Guidance for Uncovering Your Natural Awareness.
Whether you're a parent struggling with anger or simply curious about the transformative potential of mindfulness, this episode offers valuable insights and practical tools for navigating the complexities of parenthood and curating a mindfulness practice amidst the chaos of daily life.
LEARN MORE ABOUT DIANA WINSTON:
https://dianawinston.com/
DOWNLOAD THE UCLA MINDFUL APP FOR FREE GUIDED MEDITATIONS:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ucla-mindful/id1459128935
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
3:10 - What you can be on the lookout for to alert you to the fact that you are (or aren't) properly attuning to your child.
5:10 - Strategies to help parents attune to children whose cues and signals are harder to read and understand.
9:36 - Focusing on a granular moment can lead to confusion for parents, but zooming out can help you be more accurate in your understanding of what your child needs.
13:16 - Being a "good enough" parent is not just something we must settle for, it's actually scientifically-proven to be beneficial and necessary for a child's healthy development.
16:58 - Moments of misattunements help our child learn that there will be imperfections in their interpersonal relationships, which is an important life lesson.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Are we asking the wrong questions when it comes to our kids’ screen usage? In a world where technology isn’t going away, the right questions may be less about time limits, access, and controlling their behaviors and more about how we can build a child’s internal regulation system and rewire the reward center in their brain and body that screens are designed to hijack.
Joining me to offer a paradigm shift for the way we approach technology with children is somatic educator and therapist, Alé Duarte. Alé emphasizes the importance of going beyond mere behavior management and equipping children with the tools they need to override the algorithms designed to keep them glued to their screens.
Whether you're a parent, therapist, educator, or caregiver, this episode offering you strategies for approaching technology through the lens of neuroscience and psychology is one you won't want to miss!
LEARN MORE ABOUT ALÉ DUARTE:
https://www.aleduarte.com/
RESERVE YOUR SPOT IN HIS TRAINING SERIES, SCREEN MASTERS:
Live Classes start on Thursday May 23, 2024
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:04 - There are many dilemmas parents often face that can be seen inside of this listener's question:
- Weighing the pros and cons of whether staying at home or going to work is the best for you, you child and your unique situation.
- If you do choose to use childcare, what type is most ideal for your child.
- And finally, addressing the struggles surrounding your child's separation anxiety.
3:58 - There is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions.
7:05 - This decision shouldn't only be about your child. It's also important to ask yourself: What is best for me?
7:58 - This decision doesn't have to be permanent - if it's feeling overwhelming, you can reframe this to be what is right for me and my family right now.
12:30 - Weighing between sending your child to daycare, bringing in a nanny, or staying home with your children.
15:06 - Even if you are a stay-at-home parent you can add in opportunities for your child to learn to trust other caregivers and to experience separations.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Our past experiences shape our present behaviors and patterns, but by working toward healing our inner child, we can make meaningful shifts!
Jennifer Nurick joins me to discuss a profound way to approach healing by integrating many treatment approaches, including attachment theory, Internal Family Systems, EMDR, somatic psychotherapy, and more.
In this episode, we explore practical strategies for healing past traumas and nurturing inner and outer secure attachments through "parts work." Plus, Jennifer shares poignant examples of how this work translates into real-life interactions, especially in the realm of parenting, where attunement and repair are crucial for overall mental health and well-being.
LEARN MORE ABOUT JENNIFER:
https://www.psychotherapycentral.health/
READ JENNIFER'S BOOK:
Heal Your Anxious Attachment: Release Past Trauma, Cultivate Secure Relationships, and Nurture a Deeper Sense of Self
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?
Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
2:25 - Awareness and acceptance of the situation is your first step.
3:30 - Whether or not your ex is a narcissist, if you don't feel your co-parent is able to properly support your child emotionally, these strategies we offer will apply for all of those situations, too.
5:54 - Finding the delicate balance between not projecting your own feelings or "bad-mouthing" your co-parent to your child, while also not white-washing your child's feelings or gaslighting them either.
8:01 - How to use reflective functioning to help empower your child to cope when they are resistant to wanting to spend time with their other parent.
13:50 - Intentionally adding in elements for fun and delight in your own interactions with your child to help create security in your relationship.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Navigating the complex terrain of youth sports while promoting positive body image and mental wellness!
Joining me is Zoë Bisbing, a psychotherapist specializing in body image and eating disorders and the creator of Body-Positive Home.
In this episode, we emphasize the importance of creating secure attachments from the start, laying a foundation of resilience that can withstand diet-culture and societal pressures. And we delve into the challenges faced by children in aesthetic sports, discussing the delicate balance between encouraging our child's passion while weighing the potential risks to their physical and mental well-being.
Tune in as we explore the intersection of resilience, body positivity, and parenting, and discover practical ways to cultivate a nurturing environment where all bodies are valued and celebrated!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...
1:48 - A tantrum is a behavioral expression of emotions that feel to big to express in a productive manner.
2:25 - Tantrums typically tend to start around one-year-old and petter out by about 7.
6:37 - Try to compare your child to their own emotion regulation development and not compare them to another child.
9:37 - It's helpful to track the intensity, duration, and frequency of your child's tantrums - because our memories of these high stress times can often be flawed and being able to look at a log is very helpful.
- Click here to download my FREE OBSERVATION TRACKER to help you log these behaviors over the course of a week and work to change it over the course of 3 weeks.
14:10 - The red flags you should be on the lookout for that might mean there is something abnormal with your child's tantrums.
WANT TO TAKE THIS TOPIC EVEN FURTHER? CHECK OUT THESE BOOKS, PRODUCTS, AND RESOURCES:
HELPFUL BOOKS:
-
The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again by Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, PhD
-
Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids by Mona Delahooke, PhD
-
Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges by Mona Delahooke, PhD
ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR COMBATTING TANTRUMS:
Learn exactly how to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your child's tantrums in my self-paced course, The Science of Tantrums.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Discover how you can use food to teach your children about acceptance, tolerance, and the beauty of cultural diversity!
Joining me is Priya Krishna. Priya is a food reporter and video host for the New York Times and the bestselling author of multiple cookbooks including her new kid's cookbook, Priya's Kitchen Adventures.
From redefining what constitutes a "kid recipe" to navigating picky eating habits, in this episode, Priya shares practical tips for making food playful, fun, and educational. Her mouthwatering recipes will offer you an easy entry point to teach your kids to embrace diversity and expand their palate, one delicious bite at a time.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
3:10 - Resilience and distress tolerance is baked into being a younger sibling.
5:31 - When you have the bandwidth to slow down to allow your child to foster their independence, try to lean into those moments.
7:32 - We often expect our youngest to keep up with our oldest.
8:43 - Unpacking the guilt we often feel about parenting multiple children.
11:09 - How to be "transparent about the triaging" we're doing and why we're doing what.
15:20 - How to shift these strategies to apply to younger children and help toddlers adjust to having a new baby sibling, too.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
This week my conversation about finding the beauty in life and learning to accept the inevitability of death with Rabbi Steve Leder continues.
Along with being the Rabbi at Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles Rabbi Steve Leder is the author of five books, including The Beauty of What Remains and his newest book, For You When I Am Gone.
We're discussing how to answer your kid’s questions about the afterlife, the best and worst things to say to someone who is grieving, how to model for our kids the power of showing up in the face of loss, and how to accept and embrace the non-linear process of grieving.
This two-part episode will offer you tangible tools for infusing your daily life with even more meaning, purpose, and a profound sense of connection.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:46 - Travel days can be free-for-alls when it comes to kids and screens - and that's okay.
7:10 - Incorporating a "brain break," a "snack break," and a "reading break" into your travel routine.
10:29 - Context switching can be difficult for children and is often something we need to help them build skills for, rather than expecting them to just be able to do it on their own.
12:08 - Dr. Rebecca shared some reflections of her own vulnerable parenting moments in real-time - sharing how even this conversation was kicking up feelings of shame and defensiveness, and how she worked through them.
16:14 - How to be kinder to ourselves and make mindset shifts when things don't go quite as planned.
20:58 - Modeling appropriate screen use can be one of the most effective forms of teaching (but we don't have to do it perfectly all the time to still have an impact!)
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Having to explain and help our kids process and grasp the concept of death, whether in a moment where it affects them personally, or simply as a concept as a whole, can be a particularly challenging conversation for parents to navigate.
Joining me is Rabbi Steve Leder. Along with being the Rabbi at Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles, he is the author of five books, including The Beauty of What Remains and his newest book, For You When I Am Gone.
Whether you're seeking guidance on how to discuss life and death with your children or trying to come to terms with your own mortality, my hope is you walk away from this episode feeling a deeper understanding of how the very presence of death can make for more beauty in life.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
4:00 - Using screens when YOU need a break is absolutely okay and you shouldn't feel any shame or guilt around doing this!
5:05 - The difference between television and a tablet in regard to your child's development.
8:40 - How to separate your own anxiety and fear mongering around screen time so you can be educated and intentional about your child's use of technology.
9:30 - The cost/benefit of giving your child a tablet versus you keeping them off of a screen and then feeling so burnt out that you lose your cool and yell at your child.
13:03 - Ask yourself, "are screens decreasing your stress or adding more to it?"
16:38 - What the research reveals about how screens impact executive function development and the development of attention span.
18:55 - The difference between independent screen time versus interacting with screens together with your child.
Additional podcast episodes for how you can build your child's ability to engage in independent play:
- Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa
- The Wonders of play with Jennie Monness
- How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Mike Rucker
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Delve into the transformative power of storytelling across the spectrum of parenthood, identity, and navigating life's challenges.
Joining me is award-winning journalist, speaker, and the author of Stop Waiting for Perfect: Step Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into Your Power, L'Oreal Thompson Payton.
L'Oreal sheds light on the often-overlooked struggles faced by black women navigating infertility, and the importance of representation in storytelling. From grappling with postpartum depression and anxiety to challenging societal norms surrounding motherhood, L'Oreal offers valuable insights into embracing imperfection and finding strength in authenticity.
INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE FIRST YEAR OF PARENTHOOD?
Click HERE to sign up for my FREE workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!
WANT TO TAKE YOUR LEARNING EVEN FURTHER?
Join me in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:34 - Where do you even begin? How to start this difficult conversation with your child.
6:15 - The 3 pillars to keep in mind that will help you to guide your child through this conversation and process their emotions.
10:18 - The importance of honesty and knowing what information to share with your child in a developmentally appropriate manner.
15:33 - It is helpful to remind yourself that the goal of this conversation is about helping your child make sense of everything and feel less alone, not reassure them that everything is "great."
19:30 - Try not to put so much pressure on this one conversation. Try to view this as a jumping off point that can be revisited whenever necessary.
If you would like support processing your cancer diagnosis and helping your child work through their feelings about this, you can always reach out to Upshur Bren Psychology Group to learn about our virtual coaching and therapeutic services.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
No one prepares you for hearing that your child is sick. Navigating a child’s harrowing medical diagnosis is often one of the hardest things a parent can go through. Today, we talk with a mother who has walked this path, and how she found a way to redefine her narrative in order to diminish her pain and suffering in one of her life's most challenging moments.
Joining me today is board-certified radiologist and Certified Life Coach Dr. Maggie Kang. Dr. Kang was faced with the unthinkable when her 9-year old healthy daughter was suddenly diagnosed with a rare disease, and life as she knew it took an unexpected turn. Through the pain and uncertainty, she navigated the challenging terrain of her daughter's illness, transforming the traumatic experience into a catalyst for personal growth and healing.
Don't miss this touching and insightful interview to hear Dr. Kang open up about where she was able to find her strength and resilience, her realization of the impact her own mental health had on her daughter, and the transformative shift when she choose to focus on the positives.
LISTEN TO DR. KANG'S TEDX TALK:
The Truth About Pain and Suffering Will Change Your Life
GET DR. KANG'S DAUGHTER'S BOOK:
My Hospital Stay by Nell Choi
ADDITIONAL PARENTING RESOURCES:
Click HERE to download my free guide that will help you to understand the building blocks of resilience - with actual phrases you can swap out to help your child to tolerate distress, develop a growth mindset, increase self esteem, and be more resilient!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:25 - Some of the most common traits and characteristics of a people pleaser.
5:00 - How the role of gender plays a part in people pleasing.
7:44 - Subtle language shifts parents can make to promote your child's ability to tune into themselves and their needs.
10:28 - Helping bridge and stretch your child's understanding of themselves and their needs without discounting their feelings.
14:20 - To help your child not become a people pleaser, it's helpful to teach them to tune into their internal compass so they know exactly what and how to please themselves.
16:25 - The more secure our attachment systems, the less likely we are to be chronically avoiding our own needs in the service of others.
21:34 - As millennial women, many of us have been conditioned to be people pleasers, so doing work on ourselves and modeling this to our children can have a major impact.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
An exploration of healing trauma through presence, connection, and self-awareness.
Joining me to take us on this journey of discovery is licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jacob Ham. Dr. Ham will offer listeners a deeper understanding of trauma's impact on a person's neurobiology and their interpretation of the world around them, while emphasizing the importance of our relationships as a means of healing. All parents will benefit from the wisdom he shares on reflective functioning and how we can use this to break cycles of intergenerational trauma and insecure attachment patterns with our own children.
By the end of this conversation, my hope is that you won't just have new information, but will feel a renewed appreciation for the power of presence and feel enlightened, inspired, and perhaps a bit changed!
JOIN DR. JACOB HAM'S NEWSLETTER:
https://drjacobham.com/
WANT ADDITIONAL PARENTING SUPPORT:
Click HERE to download my free guide that will teach you the 4 pillars of secure attachment that will allow you to focus on parenting with attunement and trust.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:27 - How to use radical acceptance rather than trying to make everything "fair" or "equal" between siblings.
6:28 - Forging an individual relationship with each of your children and offering them one-on-one time separate from their siblings can be helpful.
9:43 - We tend to focus on the difficult moments (like when our kids are fighting) and often forget to log the good moments (like when they are getting along or even just peacefully coexisting).
13:05 - We can set conditions to maximize the likelihood that siblings will get along, but at the end of the day we can't ensure our kids will always have a strong relationship.
21:20 - Narrating what is happening versus focusing on your child's behaviors and telling them "they're being mean" or to "stop fighting" can be an easy, yet impactful shift.
ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT SIBLING FIGHTING:
-
Navigating Sibling Fights
-
How Can We Implement Consequences That Teach, Not Just Punish Our Kids
-
Fostering Deep and Meaningful Relationships
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Trigger Warning: This episode involves topics related to postpartum psychosis, suicide, and infanticide.
In this eye-opening conversation, one mother is sharing her raw and unfiltered story of navigating a postpartum psychosis diagnosis, shedding light on this often misunderstood and stigmatized perinatal mood and anxiety disorder.
After the birth of her second son, Chelsea battled with intense challenges with postpartum depression, which eventually snowballed into postpartum psychosis.
As we delve into Chelsea's story, we aim to foster a space of empathy, understanding, and support. I hope her openness invites you to connect with the human side of maternal mental health struggles, acknowledging that each tale contributes to the larger call to action for early intervention and better support for women in healthcare.
RESOURCES FOR PERINATAL MOOD AND ANXIETY DISORDERS (PMADs) SUPPORT:
Postpartum Support International
The Motherhood Center in New York
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 988 in the US and Canada.
SECURELY ATTACHED PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT PMADs:
A breakdown of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders
How PMADs can affect new fathers
Shining a light on postpartum psychosis with Paige Bellenbaum
Addressing the crushing weight of parenthood with Dr. Christine Sterling
ADVOCATING FOR CHANGES TO MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTHCARE:
Chamber of Mothers
Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative (CPMHC)
Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA)
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:10 - Playing with gender norms is developmentally typical for preschoolers and is how they learn to make meaning of things.
3:12 - For most parents, this is less a worry of our child's playful experimentation and more about how the world will respond to them.
8:50 - You can have family rules and still be supportive of your child's experimentation and play - they are not mutually exclusive.
10:08 - We can be quick to jump to questioning what these actions mean for our child's identity development, but often at this age they are just playing.
10:45 - It's helpful to be mindful of the different societal expectations of boys versus girls with gender norms.
15:04 - Playing out the fantasy your child has in the moment can sometimes satisfy their desire.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Discover how to navigate bias and guide your children toward a future of genuine cultural understanding and allyship!
Join me for a vulnerable and honest conversation on how we can navigate bias, and nurture cultural and racial awareness and inclusivity in ourselves and our children with pediatric and clinical psychologist, Dr. Dana E. Crawford. Dr. Crawford is the developer of the Crawford Bias Reduction Theory & Training (CBRT), a systematic approach to reducing bias, prejudice, and racism, and she has recently opened pre-ordering for her newly released R.A.C.E. Cards aimed at helping foster open communication around issues of race.
In this episode, Dr. Crawford guides us on a journey of self-reflection, teaching about strategic vulnerability and the essential steps to reduce bias in our lives and in the way we raise our children. This episode promises to be a transformative experience, offering valuable insights that will stay with you long after the conversation ends.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:20 - At 3 years old, kids often start to have more desires for autonomy.
4:13 - The more we can be a predictable container and create consistent routines and boundaries for our kids, the less they will feel a need to test limits.
7:30 - Theory of Mind is the ability to understand that there are perspectives different from one's own. This only starts coming online at around 5 years old.
10:42 - Understanding your 3-year-old's brain development helps you to take their behaviors less personally.
11:55 - Building distress tolerance and impulsivity control will ultimately translate into executive functioning skills over time.
16:24 - How to stretch your child to help them to get from A to Z.
19:20 - There is a whole different skill set for doing something when you don't feel like doing it versus just the skill required to perform the specific task in and of itself (like getting dressed in the morning versus getting dressed in the morning WHEN YOU'D RATHER BE PLAYING).
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Discover how being self-aware and intentional in your actions can shape your children's emotional resilience!
Joining me today is licensed clinical social worker and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, Amy Morin.
In this episode, Amy and I are shedding light on how parents, couples, and friends can harness this empowering mindset. From fostering curiosity and confidence to navigating complex emotions like guilt and values like honesty and kindness, we're providing you with practical tools for strengthening your own mental wellness and raising mentally resilient kids, too.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:28 - This age is when "stranger danger" and object permanence comes online with typical cognitive development.
6:47 - Crying to alert you that they don't prefer being held by another safe adult that is not Mom doesn't always mean they are in distress.
9:41 - Building resilience means reflecting our child's feelings back to them and staying calm in the face of that upset - your feelings are real, and they're safe.
12:05 - Self-regulating and titrating your responsiveness are two key elements of intervening in this exchange.
17:42 - When is this a matter of being held (by a safe adult), and when is this a matter of respecting their bodily autonomy and teaching consent when your child is a baby?
In this episode, I talked about The Authentic Parent. CLICK HERE if you want to learn more about my self-paced course that teaches you how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Unlock the transformative power of understanding and connecting with your child's ADHD brain - rather than fighting against it!
Joining me is the founder of Russell Coaching for Students and the author of Asking the Right Questions Before, During, and After Your Child’s ADHD Diagnosis, Dr. Norrine Russell.
If you have a child with ADHD, you won't want to miss this episode where we're sharing personal insights, evidence-based techniques, and empowering strategies to guide parents on a journey towards fostering empathy, embracing your child's strengths, and helping them reach their full potential.
PRODUCTS FOR ADDITIONAL SUPPORT THAT I LOVE:
If your child (or you!) has ADHD, you're going to love all the products from BestSelf as much as I do! CLICK HERE and use code DRSARAHBREN15 to save 15% off your entire purchase!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:52 - When is it appropriate to seek help from a mental health professional to help your child manage their anxiety and fears?
4:40 - How to identify the difference between our child's natural desire for information versus a desire for us to soothe their anxiety.
8:45 - Addressing concepts like death with your child is difficult because it is a scary thing for adults to confront too, which can lead to parents to do more accommodating than is actually helpful long-term.
13:05 - Asking yourself "why now?" - Working to identify if there is anything that activated this sudden shift so you can work toward targeting the root of the problem.
14:48 - Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) is a great resource for parents:
LISTEN: Listen to my interview with the creator of SPACE, Dr. Eli Lebowitz
READ: Breaking Free of Childhood Anxiety and OCD by Dr. Eli Lebowitz
THERAPY SERVICES: If you are in NY State and would like to learn about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE individual and group therapy options, click here to learn more.
18:38 - What to Do When You Worry Too Much and What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck are workbooks we use in our practice and are helpful resources to use with your child.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Did you know that a staggering 67% of couples experience a dip in relationship satisfaction after the birth of a child?
Joining me is clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sought-after relationship expert, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish. Dr. Tracy is the founder of Be Connected Digital, the author of I Didn’t Sign Up for This, and the host of the I'm Not Your Shrink podcast.
Today, we discuss how to signal for support and communicate our needs (even when sleep-deprived) to our partner, the impact our new identity as parents has on our relationships, and how to navigate the mental load of parenthood.
Our hope is to normalize the struggles many parents face in this season, offering a reassuring message: you are not alone and there are things you can do to strengthen your partnership and deepen your connection.
EPISODE SHOW NOTES:
Click Here
DR. TRACY'S FREE GUIDE:
10 Scripts for Defensiveness
WANT ADDITIONAL PARENTING SUPPORT:
Click HERE to check out my 2.5 hour on-demand parenting course, The Science of Tantrums, that teaches you the exact tools you need for responding in the moment and reducing your toddler's tantrums over time.
Enrollment is now open for Parenting by Design, my simple, evidenced-based coaching program for parenting your sensitive child in a way that increases cooperation, discharges power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:50 - At 3-years-old you need to physically be a container for your child, so you might need to be more intentional about what environments are conducive for that during this stage.
7:28 - Try to incorporate moments where you notice the good and use positive reinforcement to supplement the discipline you need to do.
9:38 - When we discipline a child, they may feel ashamed, guilty, or embarrassed, which can cause them to become more dysregulated (but that doesn't necessarily mean we are doing something wrong).
13:48 - "A kid needs a target if we want them to hit that target."
17:20 - It's okay to give your child an out to allow them to save face when they are doing something "wrong."
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
HEAD HERE TO GRAB THE FREEBIE FOR THIS EPISODE: Your Step-By-Step Guide for How to Change Your Child's Behavior in Just 3 Weeks!
Back by popular demand! For parents who want to learn my simple framework for how to change your child's behavior in just 3 weeks!
In this episode, I am breaking down the 10 simple steps I teach to the families in my clinical practice to help them make small shifts to their own behavior that will result in some big changes in their child.
Plus, download my interactive workbook for an easy-to-follow, customized game plan you can use to start seeing meaningful change leading to more cooperation and family harmony!
And for a limited-time only, join me in Parenting by Design, my coaching program for parents of sensitive kids that teaches you how to increase cooperation, discharge power struggles, and rebuild your child's trust in your authority–all while supporting their mental health and your own.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
4:33 - Breaking down what "don't overthink the lava" means and how to use that in your parenting.
9:05 - The content of the lava is not the problem we need to solve and spending time and energy on this can reduce our bandwidth.
10:48 - When you have a sensitive child who demands a lot of support, you need to get a tighter grip on your energetic resources.
13:46 - How to optimize your energetic resources and find effective support options to prevent burnout.
16:35 - If you want a framework for managing your child's challenging behaviors, check out my coaching program, Parenting by Design, that empowers moms, dads, and caregivers of sensitive children.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Discover how the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) can revolutionize the way you manage the complexities of everyday life.
Joining me to help busy parents learn science-backed strategies to ditch guilt, manage overwhelm, and grow meaningful connections is Dr. Yael Schonbrun.
In this episode, Dr. Schonbrun shares actionable insights and strategies to help you thrive in your many roles. Whether you're a parent seeking to raise well-adjusted and healthy kids, a partner yearning for a solid and loving relationship, or a working parent striving for balance in your career, this discussion is tailored just for you.
Hit play to learn how to enhance your parenting, partnership, and career journey!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:10 - Approaching the situation without shame and trying to do our best not to go to the meeting at the school from a defensive frame of mind.
7:55 - Zooming out from the behavior itself to try to understand what types of emotions are leading to these outbursts will allow us to be more effective in "treating" it.
9:50 - Creating a relationship between you and your child's teacher to establish open lines of communication from the beginning of the year can be helpful.
18:02 - If your child is having a lot of meltdowns in school, they are likely hitting an overload point.
20:06 - Identifying if there have been any big changes in a child's life can help you track down the root issue that could be causing their behavioral issues.
20:28 - Ross Greene's Unmet Needs and Lagging Skills framework can be useful for parents in these situations.
24:25 - Communicating to the child that they are having a hard time and we are there to help them to change the behavior, rather than focusing on the behavior itself.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Would you say you're a 👁️ visual or an 👂🏼 auditory learner? What if I told you that the research has actually debunked the theory that learning styles even exist?
So, then what actually is the best way for helping our kids to learn, feel successful, and become resilient?
That is exactly what I’ll be talking about with University of Virginia Professor of Psychology and the author of several amazing books, including the best-selling Why Don't Students Like School?, and most recently, Outsmart Your Brain, Dr. Dan Willingham.
In this episode we’re shedding light on the factors that influence a child's sense of self-efficacy, the importance of a growth mindset, and the delicate balance between praising effort and problem-solving for success.
Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or clinician, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:22 - Understanding the distinction between bribery and rewards, so you can be most effective in motivating your child.
5:05 - How to use rewards to help our children learn a new habit.
6:50 - A bribe is a tool in a parents toolbox, it's about knowing when to use that tool so you are doing it intentionally and not just falling back on it.
8:07 - A reward is to build momentum, not to sustain a behaviors for a long period of time.
9:10 - When using a reward system, we want to try to help our child notice the internal pleasure they derive from an experience, separate from the external reward.
11:30 - What the research reveals about the difference between using rewards for mundane tasks and chores (like brushing teeth) versus activities that are intrinsically rewarding (like reading, drawing, or practicing an instrument).
18:10 - Being intentional about the choices you make and working to use your parenting tools from a place of confidence rather than anxiety.
21:48 - What are other tools you can use to increase cooperation instead of bribery or rewards?
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Uncover proven techniques to manage anxiety, guilt, and overwhelming emotions, empowering you to parent with confidence. 👩👧
Joining me this week is Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco. Ilyse is the Founder/Director of the North Jersey Center for Anxiety and Stress Management and the author of Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood—and Relax into Your New Self.
This episode is a must-listen for all new and seasoned moms, with actionable insights, real-world advice, and a fresh perspective on being the parent you want to be. We're offering you guidance on finding joy, letting go of perfectionism, and making decisions aligned with your values!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
If your child (or you!) has ADHD, you're going to love all the products from BestSelf as much as I do! CLICK HERE and use code DRSARAHBREN15 to save 15% off your entire purchase!
3:50 - How parents of a child newly diagnosed with ADHD can utilize specific strategies to support them.
6:02 - Understand ADHD and what a child with ADHD might struggle with (and what they might excel in as a result of their neurodiverse brain.)
7:20 - Trustworthy resources for parents of a child with ADHD:
- ADDitude Magazine
- 12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD by Russell A. Barkley, PhD
- What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew by Dr. Sharon Saline
- Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson, EdD & Richard Guare, PhD
10:36 - ADHD is more of an executive functioning and emotional regulation disorder and symptoms can present vastly different from one child to the next.
15:38 - Looking at ADHD from a strength-based perspective.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Embark on a journey of self-exploration that will empower you to rewrite your attachment narrative!
Joining me to share her expertise on attachment patterns in adult relationships is psychotherapist and the author of the new book Your Pocket Therapist, Dr. Annie Zimmerman.
Together Dr. Zimmerman and I have an engaging conversation that dives deep into the nuances of matrescence and patrescence, how to begin unpacking your triggers, and the transformative 5-step process she outlines in her book, providing parents with a roadmap for increased attachment security and positive change.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:02 - Distinguishing between the different interventions for how to respond to biting with a young child versus an older toddler.
5:55 - Babies don't often bite out of angry, but for many other reasons including exploratory and sensory seeking behaviors.
7:53 - When a baby bites another kid and the child has a big reaction, our baby may bite more because they are exploring the response this may illicit.
9:20 - The less attention we give this behavior the more likely we can see a reduction to the biting.
12:04 - If your child is prone to biting other kids, you may have to be their "buddy guard" for a while to try to catch it in the moment before they lose interest in biting.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Effective strategies for guiding your child through the digital landscape and preparing them for a tech-savvy future!
Join us in this episode as Dr. Devorah Heitner unravels the mysteries of parenting in the age of social media, online gaming, and rapid technological changes. Gain practical insights into setting boundaries, modeling positive behavior, and empowering your kids to navigate the complexities of the digital universe with confidence.
Dr. Devorah Heitner has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society and is the author of the books Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World and Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World.
From modeling positive tech behavior to understanding your child's readiness for social media, teaching consent, and fostering offline connections, we're covering it all! So don't miss this episode for some keys to creating a harmonious digital family life.
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:05 - Parents are often worried this transition will be traumatic, but most children will be able to get through it in a healthy way, even if they have big feelings about it.
3:44 - Be mindful that how we feel about this transition is often predictive of how smoothly it will go and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
6:04 - There is a period of time where we might see some messiness and regressions, and that still isn't a sign that things are going "wrong."
7:24 - When we panic at our child's big feelings it can become a cycle that can prolong the distress, so we want to try to be mindful not to add fuel to their fire.
8:56 - 8 minutes full of concrete strategies parents can use to prepare for and help their child for a smoother transition to new childcare.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
How can parents use the principles of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (IAFT) to strengthen their connection with their child?
That is what I'll be exploring with the co-author of the new book, Integrative Attachment Family Therapy: A Clinical Guide to Heal and Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship through Play, Co-regulation, and Meaning-Making, Dafna Lender, LCSW.
This episode offers a unique perspective on parenting, emphasizing the importance of play, co-regulation, and meaningful interactions in cultivating a resilient and thriving parent-child relationship.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:40 - Unpacking whether our child is anxious about this experience, or if we might be projecting our own feelings onto the request for them to perform.
5:33 - What interventions can you use in the moment when someone asks your child to do something you're not sure they want to do.
9:26 - How to avoid fragilizing our kids in this world of gentle parenting.
12:17 - How can we respond when an adult asks our child to perform a social expectation, like giving a hug or answering their questions - whether they're 3 or 10.
15:40 - Deciphering how much we should protect our child from things that make them feel uncomfortable and how much are we should work to stretch them.
20:28 - At what age or developmental stage does it become about manners versus allowing them to listen to their internal drives?
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
🧬 How do genetics impact our child's temperament, personality, and development?
Here to talk about the impact of DNA, environmental factors, and the interplay between a child's actions and a parent's response is Dr. Danielle Dick. Dr. Dick is the author of The Child Code and an internationally recognized and award-winning expert on genetic and environmental influences on human behavior.
This episode offers a roadmap for parents, empowering them to embrace their child's innate strengths, manage pitfalls, and foster a nurturing environment tailored to their unique temperament.
Tune in for a refreshing perspective that takes the pressure off parenting, encouraging radical acceptance, and intentional guidance in this marathon called parenthood.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:10 - You can build your child's resilience by helping them establish healthy and secure relationships.
5:22 - Understanding the importance of "good enough" parenting for your child's development.
6:19 - What is the goal of parenting in our child's first year? Is there such a thing as a child being too young for you to build up their resilience?
9:22 - The difference between survival and resilience.
12:45 - What emotion regulation looks like developmentally in the first year and how to become attuned to your baby's different cries.
18:10 - Can we turn sadness and pain into ambition - and is that something you can teach a child?
23:01 - If we frame resilience as the ability to trust yourself and believe your feelings are important, the best way to teach that to a young child is to mirror what they are feeling as real and important.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
In a society that places a premium on perfection, reshaping our personal and parenting goals to prioritize growth over perfectionism becomes a formidable task.
Here to help empower you to navigate the messy middle ground of parenthood, embrace the long game, and find beauty in the small wins is the founder of About Progress, Monica Packer. Monica is a mom of 5, podcaster, coach, and "recovering perfectionist" herself.
Monica's wisdom challenges the conventional all-or-nothing mindset, providing a breath of fresh air with her perspective on the beauty of imperfection and the cultivation of authentic connections. This enlightening and empowering conversation will help all parents seeking to break free from the shackles of perfectionism and usher in a new era of personal and parenting growth.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:55 - Raising our own tolerance to the discomfort of our partner being "less effective" than we know we could be with our children.
5:55 - Ask yourself: "What if I am actually NOT the only expert on my child and what my partner is giving her is actually what she needs."
6:47 - Can you physically remove yourself (just in the short term) to allow your partner and child to adjust without you becoming triggered?
9:52 - What is the threshold for when you do want to step in and "rescue"?
12:24 - When we always rescue, we may inadvertently communicate to our child (and our partner!) that they aren't capable of parenting properly.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
One of the biggest transitions a child can experience is a move away from family, friends, their school, and the life they knew...
For military families in particular, this is a challenge many are faced with over and over, so establishing strategies for supporting yourself and your children can be particularly vital.
Joining me today is military spouse and clinical psychologist Dr. Hannah Samaha. Together, we'll share practical moving hacks for kids, creative ways to keep them connected with friends they leave behind, and highlight the importance of community for the health of children, parents, and the entire family system.
By the end of this episode, you'll learn to embrace imperfection, practice self-compassion, and recognize that showing up for ourselves and our kids doesn't always have to be perfect—it just has to be genuine!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Download my FREE guide with 3 psychologist-approved discipline strategies that DON'T utilize shame or guilt (and still work to get your child to behave!)
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:02 - Your tone of voice and way you communicate the consequence to you child is important.
6:45 - Is there a difference between a consequence and a punishment?
7:33 - How being attuned to your unique child will help you determine what the appropriate preparation and consequences should be.
11:32 - The difference between a planned versus a reactive consequence makes a big difference.
13:22 - Do consequences work well for tantrums, aggressive behaviors, and other dysregulated actions?
17:50 - How can parents be consistent, even in unpredictable situations.
25:30 - How to think creatively to find the incentive that will motivate your child best.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
🧠 Ready to Level Up Your Parenting Game?
Tuning into our bond with our child and their attachment to us can be one of our most powerful tools in parenting.
Jennifer Kolari is the founder of Connected Parenting, a method based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behaviors and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.
Tune in to discover the power of empathy, the importance of setting loving limits, and the art of attuning to your child's needs—and how all this can come together to foster increased cooperation, making the journey of parenting a bit smoother and more joyful.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:41 - Respectful versus intentional parenting - and how not to let either cause parents to be too fearful of "messing up."
4:11 - Making strategies your own. There is a way to stay authentic to your values while also infusing the magic of the holidays.
4:51 - "No one thing you're going to do is going to blow everything up."
5:52 - We don't have to take this too seriously, not everything in parenting needs to be so serious.
11:33 - How as a parent you can go against the grain and hold space for that.
16:15 - If Elf on the Shelf feels like too much work for you, it's okay not to do it simply for that reason, too.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Find out how your child’s pediatrician can become an invaluable resource for YOU in your parenting journey. 🩺 👶🏼 👩⚕️
Here to discuss the nuances of what is normal when it comes to childhood milestones, reassuring parents that the journey isn't one-size-fits-all, is board certified pediatrician Dr. Jessica Hochman.
Whether it's a late walker or a picky eater, we'll provide practical guidance on when and how to trust your gut as we explore the intersection of parental anxiety and child well-being.
If you've ever found yourself on the edge of a Google search rabbit hole, wondering if your child's development is on track, this episode is your go-to for navigating those uncertainties with more information and confidence.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:25 - Understanding the difference between typical development and when there is a sensory issue.
4:04 - The recommendations for how to handle sensory issues, ADHD, and anxiety at a young age are all the same, so it’s less about having to identify it perfectly and more about how we respond to it.
5:21 - At 4 years old a lot of these sensory-seeking behaviors are normative, once children reach around 7 years old, if the behaviors persist, then you may be able to identify this as an issue.
9:34 - Could this need to always touch his baby brother be a delayed jealousy issue?
10:48 - Examining how much attention you are giving to the concerning behavior and what happens before and after this action.
13:42 - How to effectively use praise to positively reinforce the behaviors you do like to see and prepare them ahead of time for anticipated challenges.
20:19 - Try to approach this issue with collaborative problem-solving to see what suggestions your child may come up with.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
How the time-tested traditions of yoga and modern scientific advancements are revealing a similar path for enlightenment and well-being! 🧘♀️🔬
Today we're exploring the intersections of parenting values, child development, and secure relationships, allowing parents to identify that sweet spot in their own life where all these things overlap.
Joining me this week is seasoned yoga therapist, mom of two, and the mastermind behind some extraordinary moms groups, Nicole Katz.
Nicole shares practical tips and playful techniques to cultivate self-awareness, both on and off the yoga mat. We'll explore the idea that motherhood is an ongoing evolution, a verb rather than a destination, and how our children's growth invites us to continually examine our own experiences and beliefs.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:07 - Do we encourage or dissuade our kids from asking people if they are a girl or a boy?
5:32 - Separating your own discomfort and embarrassment when your child says something that goes against the social construct.
7:28 - Kids point out differences when they see differences, and we don't need to shut that down.
9:13 - Being open to your own child's curiosity while helping them from "othering" the child they are asking questions of.
15:25 - When your child says something that has the potential to offend the person they are speaking to, how can we use that experience to facilitate conversations you may not otherwise have the opportunity to have.
18:49 - Helping your child imagine what it may feel like for the other person to receive this type of question.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
🧠 Let's simplify some complicated neuroscience into accessible and easy-to-understand bites!
Did you know that understanding the intricate ways our nervous system responds to our environment can actually help us raise children who are resilient, healthy, and mindful?
Joining me today is Seth Porges. Seth co-wrote the amazing new book, Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us, along with his father, the creator of polyvagal theory, Dr. Stephen Porges. In it, this father-son duo breaks down complex science into useful, practical, and easy-to-understand (and apply) insights about just how interconnected we are. In this conversation, we take these insights and apply them to all aspects of parenthood. From helping your child to get through big emotions more easily, to helping manage the overstimulation of parenting loud and handsy little kiddos, to feeling more connected and safe in our relationships. This is definitely an episode you won't want to miss!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:51 - Understanding the context and circumstances of why your child is whining.
4:01 - Responding to the content of your child's feeling or unmet needs rather than the tone.
7:26 - Getting to the root of what your child is trying to communicate, rather than asking something more of them in the moment.
8:20 - What to do when your child is whining a lot and it has become a real issue.
9:21 - How to ignore the behavior without ignoring your child.
13:25 - Get 3 psychologist-approved discipline strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt with this FREE GUIDE!
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Uncover the shocking impact toxic achievement culture is having on our kids' well-being - and what we can do to change that for the better! 😵💫
With her extensive research and thought-provoking insights, author of the NY Times best selling book Never Enough, Jennifer Breheny Wallace brings to the forefront the challenges our children face in this high-pressure world.
In today's episode, we'll delve into the subtle and not-so-subtle ways in which the toxic achievement culture infiltrates our children's lives, and, most importantly, we'll explore actionable strategies to mitigate its impact.
Whether you're a concerned parent seeking guidance on how to nurture a more balanced, healthier environment for your children, or an educator looking to make a positive change in the lives of your students, you're in for a thought-provoking discussion with invaluable insights.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:18 - Having a big imagination is a form of cognitive play for child and a very healthy way for them to make sense of their world.
6:32 - How can parents respond and engage with your child when their fantasies are aggressive.
9:47 - After the "toddler fantasy" stage parents often see a "preschool denial of behavior" phase come next.
12:50 - How to give your kids the emotional space to own their actions and start to understand the impact of how their behaviors impacts others.
18:16 - If we have a big reaction to our child's lying when they are using it as a defense mechanism, we're actually likely to see more lying in the future.
21:43 - Shifting our perception of our kid's lying as a manipulative behavior with the intention of deceiving us to instead be that they are using it to protect themselves from the overwhelming feelings of fear, shame, or guilt.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
❤️ Practical strategies for nurturing your relationship while navigating the ups and downs of parenthood. 👇🏻
As couples embark on the journey of parenthood, their relationship naturally undergoes a huge transformation. However, in a society that often places excessive focus on children, it's easy to overlook the vital need to nurture and prioritize our connection with our partner.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Suzanne Burger is here to share valuable insights on how couples can maintain and strengthen their bond throughout the challenges of parenthood.
From practical activities to thought-provoking discussions, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to be more deliberate in striking a harmonious balance between their roles as parents and partners!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:07 - Putting a scary experience into perspective and viewing it as an opportunity to have a conversation on safety and boundaries with your child.
5:17 - You can review ground rules with your child without using shame or fear to make them impactful.
9:41 - Understanding your unique child's level of impulsivity and how they learn best.
11:30 - Walking the delicate tightrope between making your child aware of appropriate choices for their safety without making the whole world feel dangerous.
15:12 - Our real goal for teaching "stranger danger" is not for children to be afraid of all strangers, but to have a realistic understanding of risks and accurately read environmental cues.
21:08 - Even when there is high risk, staying regulated as we discuss this with our kids can help them accurately grasp the danger in situations versus internalizing unhealthy amounts of anxiety.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Uncover the secrets to raising intentional and reflective kids! 🌱👨👩👧👦
How does our perception of life shape our sense of self? And how can we teach our children to examine the meaning they make of their feelings and experiences to help them learn to be intentional in their actions?
Prepare to expand your horizons, reconsider your perspective, and embark on a transformational journey with this week's guest and the author of GROW UP: Becoming the Parents Your Kids Deserve, Gary John Bishop.
Join us as we uncover the secrets to nurturing secure attachments and fostering reflective functioning skills in our children. It's time to empower the next generation with the tools they need to create meaningful lives. Don't miss out on this episode that promises to reshape your understanding of self, parenting, and personal growth.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:07 - Addressing your own anxiety and the "what if's" first, so you can separate your emotions from your child's experiences and feelings.
6:59 - Shifting this parent's thoughts from "I am responsible for fixing this" to "I am responsible for paying attention."
8:44 - Utilizing school resources and familiarizing yourself (and your child) with the mental health support system that the college or university provides to their students.
11:52 - The symptoms that parents can be on the lookout out for if you're worried that your child may be depressed.
12:52 - Parent's don't need to be the one to determine if your teen is having a mental health issue that requires additional support. You can bring in a therapist to do an assessment so you don't feel all the pressure to "diagnose" your child.
17:10 - Even if your adolescent voices resistance to the suggestions you give them, it doesn't mean that advice doesn't actually land.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Helping our children learn to understand, process, and make sense of their emotions can be pivotal for fostering their mental well-being all the way into adulthood.
Join me for an enlightening conversation that promises to empower you as a parent or caregiver is the author of the new book TINY HUMANS, BIG EMOTIONS, Alyssa Blask Campbell.
Discover practical strategies to support your child's emotional regulation, build resilience, and foster empathy, and explore the ways sensory sensitivities can be harnessed as a path to nurturing emotionally intelligent children.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
4:12 - The quick 101 on attachment theory - it's most simple definition.
7:29 - Understanding the difference between making bad choices and having unhealthy romantic relationships versus having an attachment disorder.
10:12 - If a person does have an avoidant insecure attachment style, what can they do not to pass down this attachment style?
11:39 - The importance of attunement in attachment.
13:40 - Being intentional in your approach to parenting can help anchor you and prevent you from being so reactive in the moment.
18:13 - There are many relationships that come together to form a child's attachment blueprint - so you don't need to put so much pressure on yourself!
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Using the end of the night to help a child unwind, make sense of the day, and prepare for what’s to come tomorrow can be a valuable tool for shifting their brain and body into a state of rest.
Joining me to talk about how parents can use the last 20 minutes of the day to promote social and emotional learning is the author of the children’s book series, Conscious Stories, Andrew Newman.
Helping our child to feel safe and connected to us just before it’s time for them to drift off into sleep can have a huge impact on their ability to successfully fall asleep and stay asleep and on their overall mental wellbeing.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:49 - What should consequences for my child be when there are no natural or logical consequences that are easy to identify?
4:05 - Understanding the developmental difference between your child being able to intellectually comprehend something versus their ability to inhibit an impulse.
7:41 - Helping your child keep their autonomy while teaching them a new rule to maintain safety might mean you have to supervise them for a while.
10:37 - I told my child not to do something, they did it anyway, what should the consequence be? Should I punish them?
12:58 - Parents are often afraid of using consequences in a gentle parenting philosophy—but there is an appropriate time and use for consequences.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Click here to watch for my FREE masterclass, From Battles to Bonding: Overcoming Power Struggles! And gain insights and tools that can lead to a more peaceful and enjoyable parenting experience, free of daily power struggles!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
6:22 - How to allow sensitive children to feel seen and understood, without making them shut down or feel uncomfortable with too much direct attention.
7:17 - Behavioral interventions to use with sensitive kids when they are fully dysregulated and as they start to cool down.
9:05 - Being intentional about using structures and systems preemptively so sensitive children understand expectations and can predict what will happen next.
15:56 - While this may sound like it take a lot of time and attention, in the end it's easier than managing the meltdown.
20:31 - Things will come up that you can't anticipate, and that's where theses strategies of recognizing, validating, redirecting, and recovering are helpful.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
HEAD HERE TO GRAB THE FREEBIE FOR THIS EPISODE: Your Step-By-Step Guide for How to Change Your Child's Behavior in Just 3 Weeks!
Want to learn how to change your child's behavior in just 3 weeks?
In this episode, I am breaking down the 10 simple steps I teach to the families in my clinical practice to help them make small shifts to their own behavior that will result in some big changes in their child.
Plus, download my interactive workbook for an easy-to-follow, customized game plan you can use to start seeing meaningful change leading to more cooperation and family harmony!
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:18 - You are not alone! Kids holding it together all day with other people and melting down with us is very common (and healthy, even!)
2:57 - How to make transitions smoother to help reduce dysregulation when children get home.
7:26 - Children do behave differently with different caregiver and parents respond differently to different children. This is typical and normal, but there are shifts we can make to interrupt these patterns if they’re not working for the family.
11:55 - Reframing your interpretation of your child's big emotions as a necessary release, rather than a problem that needs to be fixed.
14:30 - The interpretation that your child is messiest with your because they feel safest with you may be true and validating, but it doesn't mean they feel unsafe with you if the inverse is the case.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Do you feel like you are constantly ping-ponging between two extremes—throwing around your authority and overpowering your child or feeling like they're running the show?
Jen Lumanlan, the creator of Your Parenting Mojo and the author of the new book, Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family—and the World, is helping parents learn how to embark on a journey towards harmonious family life and a better world!
Say goodbye to time-outs, countdowns, and punishments that perpetuate power imbalances. Instead, embrace empathetic listening, understanding your child's needs, and collaborative problem-solving. The result? Parents no longer feel like martyrs and children's behavioral problems often start to decrease.
If you're ready to transform your family life while shaping a brighter future for your children, then this episode is a must-listen!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:24 - How this current generation is working to lessen the stigma of having learning difficulties or a neurodiverse brain by approaching it as a difference rather than a deficit.
4:20 - How parents can be collaborative with their child's school to help them feel comfortable getting support in the classroom.
7:26 - Understanding a child's genetic history can empower parents to make specific choices (proactively and in the moment) based on that unique knowledge.
9:02 - Teaching your child to use, "I'm the type of person who..." statements can help them approach the things that are challenging for them without judgment.
15:29 - How comparing an invisible disability (like ADHD, OCD, anxiety, etc.) with physical disabilities can help children feel comfortable accepting support.
18:45 - Modeling coping skills by talking about your unique brain, body, and your process in navigating mental or physical differences without infusing shame.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
We all want our children to succeed. But, the way they get there can feel counterintuitive to many parents and mainstream parenting approaches. We need to let our kids stumble, let them make mistakes, and allow them to struggle a bit.
Here to help parents understand how to support their child's autonomy in a way that promotes family harmony is psychologist and author of Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, Dr. Emily Edlynn.
From allowing for boredom, teaching our children to find balance, tuning into their intrinsic motivation, and giving them space to learn their body's cues, this episode will help you harness the power of treating your child with respect.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:37 - What is a "spicy" kid and how is that a more positive term than "sensitive" or "highly emotional"?
4:05 - What is the difference between continuum and categorical and how does this apply to these highly reactive kids.
4:54 - Helping kids who easily go to feelings of shame while setting limits.
8:32 - Teaching our children the difference between shame and guilt and how this can be a beneficial parenting tool to use with the children that quickly go to a place of shame.
12:08 - Create opportunities for your child to feel a sense of mastery, in control, self-confident, and proud by inviting them to participate in tasks you know they can excel at.
19:31 - Try using the terms "safe" or "unsafe" rather than "good/bad" or "mean/nice" when describing your child's behaviors.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Addressing the root cause of our children's physical and mental health challenges, rather than just treating the symptoms, can allow the human body to function as it should and positively impact energy, mood, and overall feelings of wellness.
Joining me to discuss the benefits of taking a holistic and integrative approach to pediatric medicine is Dr. Pejman Katiraei, a board-certified pediatrician and the co-founder of WholisticMinds.
We'll explore how physiological and environmental factors like mold, Lyme, and other toxins can impact children's bodies leading to behavioral issues, and what this understanding means for the diagnosis and treatment in children of things like autism, ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression, and more.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
>>> Download my FREE Mental Health Postpartum Checklist that walks you through creating a personalized mental health support system and allows you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be. <<<
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
1:44 - Setting yourself up with a postpartum support system (like a therapist, night nurse, postpartum doula, etc.) that is most aligned with your unique needs.
4:21 - Before you come home with your new baby ask yourself the questions: What are my vulnerabilities? What do I anticipate being challenging for me?
6:46 - Understanding the typical and appropriate biological changes that occur in pregnancy and postpartum.
8:09 - Be proactive—don't wait until you're in crisis to reach out to a therapist or your support system.
11:04 - Psychologists who specialize in postpartum care can serve as a hub for your full support team and collaborate with your primary therapist, psychiatrist, OB/GYN, etc. to provide you with comprehensive care.
13:44 - Holistic and non-therapeutic approaches you can take to support your anxiety levels in pregnancy and postpartum.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
As children grow, their friendships become increasingly more important to them and are an integral part of their developing sense of self, of relationships, and how they fit into this world. Helping them learn to understand, process, and manage the multitude of emotions that come with early peer relationships can have a major impact on their development and mental health.
Here to talk about the way children make, maintain, and nurture friendships is Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore. Eileen is a psychologist, friendship expert, and co-author of Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids.
From properly interpreting social cues, to managing conflict, and teasing and bullying, this episode will help parents gain a deeper understanding of what it means to be a kid today and how we can best support our children as they navigate social interactions.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
5:38 - How to determine what is driving your child's desire to quit an activity.
6:15 - Weighing the pros and cons between letting your child quit (and potentially not learning to persist, make a commitment, and tolerate struggle) versus not letting them quit and forcing them to do something that may no longer be serving them
7:05 - Determining the parameters around when and how you allow them to stop an activity.
9:38 - "The goal, and how we're going to respond to this, is to explore it rather than fix it."
15:18 - How to separate our own expectations and desires from what we project onto our children.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
The care we provide for mothers, helping them to feel seen and supported, not only changes the way they internalize their self worth, but the trajectory of the perceived value they internalize and pass along to their children.
Joining me in this episode is Chanel Porchia-Albert, the founder and Chief Executive Director of Ancient Song Doula Services and activist in the fight for birth equality for all, regardless of race, location, or socio economic status.
Together we'll help all expecting or soon-to-be expecting new parents know more about their options, learn what questions to ask of themselves and their doctors, and what exactly to consider to help them feel most cared for during their pregnancy and birth experience.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:15 - The perceptiveness of toddlers and why kids often know more than we realize.
5:26 - How to explain to a toddler in a simple, honest, and developmentally appropriate way that there is no longer a baby in Mommy’s belly.
7:48 - The specific words and language that is best to use with toddlers (and what we want to try to avoid) when telling them about the loss of a baby.
13:06 - How to help ease a child's anxiety after a conversation about loss or death.
16:33 - Understanding behavioral changes that may occur when a child is processing grief and how these themes can emerge in their play.
20:02 - Recognizing why certain behavioral shifts may be happening and the benefit of acknowledging them directly with your child.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
You can’t Google the words “baby sleep” without being inundated with a barrage of sleep training ads and methods, all claiming to do it gentlest, fastest, and best. But, what does the science and the research actually show about how effective and healthy sleep training is for our infants and young children?
I’m am thrilled to have neuroscientist, doula and the author of the book The Nurture Revolution: Grow Your Baby’s Brain and Transform Their Mental Health through the Art of Nurtured Parenting Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum back on the podcast to talk about the science of sleep!
We’re not going to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but instead our goal is to arm you with all the information you need so that you are able to make informed decisions about what is best for you and your unique family - with no shame, judgment, pressure, or fear!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Do you need support coparenting your child with your ex? Reach out to Upshur Bren Psychology Group to schedule a free consultation call to learn more about the individualized treatment options. <<
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:03 - The quality of the attachment in every relationship is different. Kids can have a secure attachment bond to you and a more insecure relationship with someone else and still internalize the positive benefits of secure attachment.
6:16 - Handling parenting with a partner or an ex who has a parenting style that is misaligned from your own.
9:25 - Assessing the varying degrees of animosity or amicability in deciphering how to communicate with an ex partner about your child's feelings.
9:49 - Bringing in a therapist can be helpful to have information coming from an objective party and can lead to less of an emotional response.
14:45 - How to be the safe place for your child when they are experiencing difficulty.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
How do you know whether your child has selective mutism or is just shy in certain situations?
Joining me today to discuss selective mutism—an anxiety disorder that is characterized by the inability or refusal to speak in certain situations, despite being capable of speech in other settings—is Dr. Carmen Tumialan Lynas. Dr. Tumialan Lynas is a clinical psychologist and anxiety specialist and the founder of Advanced Therapeutic Solutions.
Recognizing the symptoms of selective mutism (SM) is crucial in order to provide appropriate support. If you think your child may have SM, you won't want to miss this episode that covers what to look out for and how to help children so they can overcome their communication challenges and thrive!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:30 - The importance of mindfulness and pausing long enough to notice and express when we are grateful.
6:21 - Setting realistic expectations - you can be teaching gratitude and not have grateful kids all the time, and that's okay.
7:50 - The difference between being spoiled or entitled and having desires.
12:26 - How to handle our own triggers when we feel like our child is being spoiled.
14:00 - What the availability bias is and how it impacts our kids.
20:45 - Proactive responsibilities are opportunities to teach appreciation, value, and perspective.
25:00 - Understanding privilege.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
How does the way we treat our children affect the makeup of their brains? And how can we use this knowledge to raise children in a style that optimizes their physical, emotional, and mental health?
That is precisely what Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum shares in her new book, The Nurture Revolution.
From exploring the neuroscience of nurturing to understanding how early caregiving experiences influence our relationships as adults, Dr. Kirshenbaum offers profound insights that can shape how we think about respectful parenting with children of any age.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:07 - Does playing with Barbies cause children to have an unrealistic body image?
8:01 - Do millennials carry a stigma around Barbies that is not accurate to the way they are being portrayed now?
8:58 - Is it beneficial to ban any toys, or is it better to use these toys as a conversation starter?
10:45 - How can you initiate a conversation with your child that can negate some of the negative effects of playing with thin dolls, unrealistic ideas of gender norms, and stereotypes.
18:40 - What other factors regarding self-esteem and body image are more important for parents to keep in mind rather than if they should or shouldn't let their child play with Barbies.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
When it comes to healthy eating habits, it's essential to focus on balance and trust rather than strict rules or restrictions - which for many of us, is the exact opposite of the way we were raised.
Amelia Sherry, registered and certified dietitian/nutritionist and the author of Diet-Proof Your Daughter, is joining me today to talk about ways parents can make this mindset shift in order to support and nurture their child’s healthy relationship to food.
Throughout today's episode, we'll explore the role parents play in shaping a child's body image, feelings toward food, and offer you some practical tips for fostering healthy eating habits and reducing mealtime power struggles with your own children.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Having a baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) comes with a wide range of emotions and experiences that can be challenging for new parents to navigate. And many feel like they’re facing this challenge alone.
The founders of NICU Nook, Dr. Stephanie Simon and Amanda Neilan, are working to change that!
This episode is filled with encouragement and support with expert advice and practical strategies to help you and your baby thrive. You'll learn strategies for navigating the NICU and cultivating a secure attachment bond that will endure beyond the hospital walls.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:38 - What is serve and return and how does it impact our baby's brain development?
6:02 - The human brain is hardwired to have dynamic interpersonal exchanges.
8:19 - It's not about the "stuff" it's about the relationships.
8:27 - Why "safety" is the first step for allowing your child to explore their world, develop cognitively, and shapes the structures of the brain.
12:31 - Are enrichment classes beneficial for brain development?
18:02 - What are the many possible functions of these enrichment classes?
20:54 - Giving kids the opportunity to solve problems in daily life is incredibly valuable - and free!
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
The constant pressure to do it all (and do it all perfectly, I might add) is just one of the reasons parents are finding themselves so burnt out.
We are so go, go, go that we often forget to stop and assess what is working, what isn't working, and how we can be intentional about using the time we do have to raise our children with the values that we find most important. Here to help parents learn to manage and prioritize their time is the author of Thursday is the New Friday, Joe Sanok.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and overworked, you won’t want to miss this episode with brain hacks you can use to be more efficient with your time, tools for assessing where to put the time you do have, and strategies to help you decide what can be flexible and what needs firm boundaries to be set–whether in the home, at work, or within your relationships.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
3:05 - The guidelines we use and the questions we ask to determine whether or not we allow our own kids to have a sleepover with their friends.
5:11 - Why knowing the formal questions about body safety, firearm safety, etc. can keep your child safe, even if you don't choose to explicitly ask them.
10:57 - It's not about one thing, but all the things that together serve to help create a safer environment.
12:29 - What are the benefits of allowing your child to have a sleepover?
17:01 - Assessing your child's personal developmental readiness.
21:07 - At what age are most kids developmentally able to handle a sleepover?
24:44 - Addressing bullying (before and after) slumber parties.
31:23 - How one-on-one sleepovers can help children create connections and break into friend groups.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Secure and insecure attachment styles aren't good or bad, they simply are. It can be tempting to label these things, but with that can come shame, guilt, and anxiety.
Here to help dispel some myths about attachment science and offer parents strategies for building their own ability to help their child feel understood and safe is Dr. Tanya Cotler.
Together we'll help listeners learn to zoom out to identify patterns and offer suggestions for deepening the parent-child bond, while factoring in family history, the human brain and body, and the importance of reflective functioning.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
2:48 - What to think about and how to decide when it’s time to start moving away from the pacifier.
7:11 - What age would we recommend parents stop letting their child use a pacifier to help them self-soothe.
9:30 - Should you slowly ween or should you take the pacifier away cold turkey?
17:23 - Practical strategies to use (and what not to do) when you decide it's time.
18:56 - How to prepare the environment to make this an easier transition.
✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨
Big kids can mean big problems. As tweens and teens start to find their independence and exert their autonomy, parents may feel a little lost as they face new challenges.
One of the best ways to break through is to learn how to communicate with your growing child in a way that helps you both to feel seen, understood, respected, and appreciated. Joining me to offer parents tools to do just that is the author of the book Courageous Conversations: A guide for parents to understand and connect with their teen, Elizabeth Bennett.
Whether your child is already at this stage, or you just want to lay the groundwork from the start, my conversation with Elizabeth will offer parents strategies for helping your child to feel safe being open and honest with you, no matter how old they are right now.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
New parenthood is full of challenges, twists, and turns. But particularly for men who were raised by single mothers, becoming a father can sometimes feel like they are forced to forge a new path without having a roadmap for how it's done.
Joining me today to talk about his own experience of becoming a dad and the lessons he learned is the author of Rookie Father, Kendall Smith.
So whether you’re a dad who is feeling like you are still a “rookie” at this whole parenting thing, or a mom who could use a little peek into the inner mind of your partner, in honor of Father's Day this weekend, I hope you join us as we celebrate the profound, important, and fun contribution that father’s have on their children’s lives!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ Send an email to sarah@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Whether you are in a fully codependent relationship or not, there can be subtle things people do in romantic relationships, with friends, and within a parent-child relationship that can heighten aspects of codependency.
Here to help parents spot the signs of codependency (whether in yourself or in your partner in parenting) and teach you strategies and behaviors to help you create a more healthy and secure relationship with your child is self-proclaimed "Codependent Perfectionist" and LMHC Alana Carvalho.
In this episode we'll define what codependency is, the emotional burden it can place on our children, and practical steps we can take to break free of this pattern and foster healthier relationships.
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Janet Lansbury was talking and blogging about respectful parenting long before it became a buzzword.
Informed by her mentor and RIE creator Magda Gerber, Janet has spent decades encouraging parents and teaching them how to create loving and supportive environments for their children to help them grow into compassionate, confident, and resilient individuals.
Whether you are a follower of the RIE (resources for infant educarers) parenting method and wondering how these principles centered on respect and trust can evolve as your child grows, or you are just looking to find a parenting approach that feels aligned with your values - this episode will empower you to view your child as a whole, capable being, with just as much to teach us as we have to teach them.
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Becoming a grandparent is typically embraced by society as a joyous event filled with all the love and much less of the responsibility that comes with parenthood. However, in reality, the identity shifts that occur when parents become grandparents are complicated, with a mix of highs and lows. And with this so rarely discussed, new grandparents (and new parents) can feel blindsided and struggle to know how to navigate the complexities of this transition.
Joining me today to have a full and honest conversation about what it means to become a grandparent, from both a personal and a clinical level, is Licensed Mental Health Counselor and grandmother of 2, Carol Merle- Fishman.
This episode is an ideal listen for both parents and grandparents — tackling generational differences, how to understand each other's perspectives, and strategies for approaching complicated family dynamics with a deeper sense of compassion and empathy.
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Does attachment security impact our perception of our appearance and whether or not we have a positive or negative body image? Are mothers, consciously or unconsciously, passing down their own internalized feelings about weight and worth to their daughters? And how is social media impacting the way teen girls view themselves?
These important questions are what Dr. Miriam Steele is working to answer in her vast research in the field of attachment theory.
Teens today are struggling. As parents, being conscious and aware of the scientific findings and strategies we can use to support our children—from childhood into adolescence—is vital for helping them get through tough times and learn to combat feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, and depression.
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Understanding attachment theory can give parents an amazing insight into why things are happening in their relationship with their child. But simply knowing this information is one thing—learning the tools we can use to increase the likelihood of our child forming a secure attachment bond is entirely another.
I am honored to be joined today by Dr. Miriam Steele, a pioneer in attachment research who is here to help parents move beyond the theory to understand exactly what to do to raise our children with a focus on emotional wellbeing and mental health.
Dr. Steele will share her story, the basics of secure and insecure attachment styles, and how a term called "reflective functioning" is the key to breaking intergenerational cycles of insecure attachment patterns and of promoting healthy development in our children.
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Getting proper sleep as a new parent can have a huge impact on your mental health and subsequently the health of your infant. But in order for you to get good stretches of sleep, you need your little one to get into a healthy rhythm.
Joining me today to talk about establishing healthy sleep patterns based on our knowledge of child development and biology is Certified Infant and Child Sleep Consultant, founder of My Sleeping Baby, and mother of 3, Eva Klein.
So whether you’re already in your postpartum period or still pregnant and feeling anxiety anticipating those sleepless nights, this episode is one you won’t want to miss.
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It's Securely Attached's 100th episode! To celebrate, this week's show is a deep dive into what this podcast is all about - how understanding the basics of attachment science and child development can make parenting easier and more enjoyable.
I'll give you a crash course in attachment science, dispel the misinterpretations that can make parents feel anxious or guilty, and offer concrete tips for more accurately attuning to your child, which can help them to form a secure attachment bond and promote mental wellness within your child and yourself.
Whether this is your first episode with me or you’ve been here for the full 100, I just want to share a heartfelt thank you. I could not have made it this far in this labor of love without you tuning in, sharing your questions and words of encouragement with me, and passing this resource on to fellow parents. It’s been such a privilege to be in your ears every week for the past 100 weeks—here’s to 100 more! ✨
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
I am celebrating Earth Day by sitting down with stylist Liz Teich to talk fast fashion, sustainability, our excess of clutter, and how we can model living a more sustainable and green lifestyle for our children.
With practical tips for making your wardrobe last longer, to suggestions for carefully curating the pieces and toys in your home, this episode will be the perfect way for you to kick off thinking about manageable shifts you can make to take care of the planet this Earth Day and beyond.
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
If the brain is always growing and developing, how can we measure intelligence on a single test? And are there ways in which our intelligence is affected by our DNA, our genes, and our environment?
Joining me today to talk about the genetics behind our intelligence and what the research says about what standardized testing is actually measuring is the author of Rethinking Intelligence, Dr. Rina Bliss.
We'll discuss how and why we measure intelligence in our society and offer parents suggestions for what they can do to support their children as they navigate the education system today.
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In honor of World Autism Month I am speaking with an expert in the field of autism treatment and the author of the new book, Hidden Brilliance: Unlocking the Intelligence of Autism, Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel.
Whether your child has Autism or not, her strength-based approach that uses a child's natural interests to drive their motivation and help them tap into their full potential will resonate with parents of children with both neurodiverse and neurotypical brains.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Eve Rodsky's Fair Play method has swept the nation and become a cultural phenomenon. By being intentional about how we definite our roles, rebalancing our to-do list, and feeling aligned with our partners, we are able to challenge societal norms to find a fair balance of the mental load of parenthood that works best for us.
Joining me this week is certified Fair Play method facilitator and LMSW, Lauren A. Tetenbaum.
This episode will help you catalog and understand your unique needs and offer you a framework for communicating them to your partner-in-parenting so that you can strengthen your bond and the feeling of equity and connection within your relationship.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Every postpartum is different! So whether this is your first time being pregnant or you have done this before, surrounding yourself with the proper support during this period of transition is key.
Here to offer you tools for a smoother adjustment is the co-author of Not Your Mother's Postpartum Book and co-creator of @mamapsychologists, Dr. Chelsea Bodie.
This episode covers a lot, because honestly, postpartum is a lot — from challenging what society claims it’s supposed to look like, to going back to work, and parenting an infant along with your other kids, we’re diving into it all and tackling what it means to be a modern mama today.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When it comes to childhood development, sleep is not a linear process. It's normal for young children to have ups and downs, regressions, and growth spurts with their sleep.
Here to talk about how you can help your toddler say goodnight without the struggle is sleep specialist and RIE associate Eileen Henry.
Beyond just tips and tricks, this episode will allow you to truly understand how to use your secure attachment bond to help your child feel more at ease with going to bed, and help you feel confident that you are fostering healthy nap time and bedtime skills too.
When we become parents, time management strategies become more important than ever! Juggling activities and social calendars for ourselves, with our spouse, and for our children can feel like a full time job.
Here to talk about her approach to systemizing the lives of busy parents in order to help us feel more in control of our days with less stress, overwhelm, and burnout is Chelsi Jo.
From the clutter in our homes to our need to always be busy, and the seemingly never-ending tasks on our to-do lists, this episode will tackle all the emotional and tangible strategies you need to create a routine that works best for you and your unique family.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
The General Social Survey's findings on Americans' happiness levels are troubling. Only 19% of those polled in 2022 said they were very happy, the lowest percentage since this survey began collecting data in 1972.
So what can we do to feel more joy? One huge factor may involve how and how much time we devote to play. Here to discuss ways we can infuse more fun into parenthood is the author of the new book The Fun Habit, Dr. Mike Rucker.
From being intentional about what we choose to focus on, finding ways to play with and without our children, and breaking down the difference between passive and active leisure, this episode will have you walking feeling a renewed sense of optimism, and a game plan for moving past burnout.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Do you feel the pressure to get everything “right”? We know the scientifically proven effects stress has on parents. And what’s more, how this parental stress can negatively impact our children. And yet, we still lack proper support systems for caregivers and families.
Joining me today is Dr. Christine Sterling, a board-certified OB/GYN who has made it her mission to provide comprehensive support to people undergoing the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy and postpartum.
We’ll talk about the mental load of pregnancy and parenthood, strategies moms and dads can use to combat burnout and stress, share stories of our own experiences with symptoms of postpartum anxiety, and offer tips for how you can lean into your own personal strengths to help you more fully enjoy your parenting journey.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Toddlers are often misunderstood. They’re no longer babies, yet they still have very little knowledge of the world and the way things work—something that is easy to forget when we are constantly being blown away by their maturity and developmental leaps at this age.
I am so excited to be joined this week by the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series, Carol Zeavin and Rhona Silverbush to talk all things toddlerhood.
We’ll help you learn and understand exactly how you can best support your kiddo through some common toddler situations (like potty training, sharing, becoming a big sibling, and separation anxiety) all of which will help you to walk away from this episode with a deeper understanding of just what life looks like through the eyes of your toddler.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Life is all about who we spend it with. But relationships—with ourselves, our partners, our children, and especially our extended family—can be complicated.
Joining me to talk about his new book, Making Great Relationships, and to offer strategies for fostering healthy, effective, and fulfilling relationships of all kinds is neuropsychologist and NY Times best-selling author, Dr. Rick Hanson.
So whether you are looking to feel deeply connected to your child, learn how to set boundaries with your in-laws, or prioritize your own needs by focusing on 4 concrete and accessible areas that can make a big impact for busy parents, this episode will be helpful for everyone who wants to nurture their relationships!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions about postpartum psychosis, infanticide, and suicide.
As the tragic news of the mother of 3 in MA who took the lives of her children and then attempted to take her own life has spread, there has been a great deal of misunderstanding in the media and on social media.
In order to prevent the spread of misinformation, I invited Paige Bellenbaum of the Motherhood Center to join me today to help clarify the difference between postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis, and offer psychologically-informed information to help people more fully understand maternal mental health.
While difficult, it is important to have these conversations, to understand the symptoms associated with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs), to have compassion for those affected, and to know where to find support if you or someone you love is struggling with any form of PMAD.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
How can you raise your children to be resilient, confident, and proud when you are raising them in a non-traditional family? And how can everyone raise our children to value inclusivity and acceptance no matter what shape or size our family is?
I am honored that Dr. Erica Miller is back on the podcast to share her personal story of being a gay parent and the lessons she has learned from her own experience and her professional role as a clinical psychologist.
There is no one way to be a family and there is no right way to be a family. This episode will help you be intentional about raising your children to be compassionate and to stand up for what’s right while offering practical strategies for answering tricky questions and navigating complex social situations.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When our kids hit 3 years old we can start to see some new behaviors and attitudes come online. At this age children often want to exert their power and independence, and seem to find a new favorite word—“no!”
Back on the podcast to help a listener and any parents who are looking for help navigating what some refer to as the “threenager” stage is Dr. Emily Upshur.
In this episode, we’ll help you understand why this is developmentally healthy, what you can do during power struggles and outside the heat of the moment to reduce them, and how our own mindset can influence our child’s behavior.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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Working parents have traditionally been forced to compartmentalize their roles. Make sure we don't hear the baby crying on the Zoom. Be fully present as a parent without any distractions or interruptions. But we are whole beings, with both of those vital parts integrated to form who we are.
Here to help parents bridge that gap and shift the narrative to see how being both career-driven AND family-focused can be an incredible strength is Daisy Dowling. Daisy is the Founder & CEO of Workparent and the author of Workparent: The Complete Guide to Succeeding on the Job, Staying True to Yourself, and Raising Happy Kids.
Whether you are an employee, entrepreneur, freelancer, or employer, this episode will cover practical strategies you can use to help you create an ideal home and office environment that support your needs as a whole person.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
From striking up conversations with other parents at the playground, hosting playdates with our child’s new best friend, attending a birthday party without knowing the other parents there, and even just navigating the perceived (and sometimes very real) judgment from others, once we become parents we often find ourselves in social situations we may never have been in before.
Here to help parents work through any social anxiety they may feel and learn how they can best support the development of their child’s social skills in spite of a parent's own fears, is therapist Justine Carino.
Whether you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, or just feel uneasy about the idea of engaging in new social situations on behalf of your child, this episode will help you identify the problem and begin to challenge those fears.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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Family planning isn’t easy for all parents. And having an uncomplicated or full-term pregnancy once does not guarantee the same results the next time around.
Parenting while coping with any form of reproductive loss, be that unsuccessful IVF attempts, miscarriages, stillbirths, and beyond can be a grueling reality for many families.
Here to discuss how to navigate fertility struggles in parenthood is clinical psychologist Dr. Shara Brofman.
If you are going through something like this right now, my hope is that this episode will help you feel understood and validated and offer you strategies for coping with grief, finding ways to move forward, and seeking aligned resources for support.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Are you dreading your upcoming family trip? Traveling with kids can be a lot to handle and the stress of this can leave us feeling defeated, even before we board the plane or hit the road.
So joining me this week to help you feel prepared and ready for traveling with your kids is the queen of play herself, Jennie Monness.
In this episode, we’ll help you set proper expectations for travel days, give you strategies based on psychology and child development, and suggest practical toys and play prompts that can make for a smoother trip this holiday season and beyond!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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It's developmentally normal, even typical, for toddlers and young children to bite. But that doesn't mean we just sit back and let it happen.
Here to talk about the many reasons children bite and how parents can effectively respond to this behavior is the co-founder of Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur.
In this episode we’ll talk about exactly what to do when your child bites, plan b and c for when that strategy isn’t working, and advice for what to do before and after the bite occurs to work toward preventing it from happening again in the future.
Whether your child bites every now and then or this is a pattern you aren’t sure how to break, this episode will offer you strategies you won’t want to miss!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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One of the things that I hear time and time again from parents is that it feels like parenthood is a constant tightrope walk. And knowing how to meet our children’s curiosity about sex without projecting our own (often complicated) feelings onto the conversation is certainly no exception.
Here to offer some clarity on how we can set developmentally appropriate expectations of our kids and gentle expectations of ourselves when it comes to talking to them about sex is Dr. Holly Richmond.
From learning language that can help keep your child safe, when and how to set appropriate boundaries, and how to introduce the concept of consent to young children, in this episode we will offer you a framework that you can use no matter your comfort level, so you can introduce topics related to sexual health in a manner that feels authentic and genuine to you.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When our children feel anxious or afraid, it can be difficult for parents to know exactly how they should respond. Many parents put pressure on themselves to solve or fix this problem for their child, which is often impossible and a less than ideal way to handle this tricky situation.
Joining me to talk about childhood anxiety and offer support for parents navigating this in their own family is the author of Goodbye, Anxiety: A Guided Journal for Overcoming Worry, Dr. Terri Bacow.
You’ll learn a framework you can use that will work toward helping your child learn to cope with their anxiety, rather than avoiding their fear, and factors to help you determine if and when it’s time to seek professional support.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
As parents, we don’t always get it right. But having the tools and skills to process our own big feelings and navigate emotion regulation in ourselves can have a big impact on how we support our children.
Joining me to talk about ways we can establish a healthy relationship to our emotions and teach our children to do the same is the founder of Curious Neuron, Dr. Cindy Hovington.
This episode will help you learn the benefit of slowing down, how to cut yourself some slack, and why the best way of teaching is through modeling. You’ll hear a psychologist and neuroscientist with 5 kids between them share their own relatable experiences with parenthood and offer strategies for using language, physiology, and brain science to create a honest and balanced approach to emotion regulation.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resource
While it’s wonderful that there is much more talk about postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and other perineal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) than ever before, the flip side of that coin is that sometimes when new parents experience a PMAD after the birth of their child they feel ashamed for not seeing it coming.
The reality is there is nothing you did or didn’t do that causes you to have a PMAD. However, there are ways to prepare, and strategies to use during the postpartum period to help you prioritize your mental health.
Joining me this week is Dr. Kira Bartlett, a licensed clinical psychologist with over 20 years of experience and the founder and director of A Bridge Home.
Whether or not you have a PMAD, bringing home a new baby is a challenge. You’re exhausted, emotional, and often overwhelmed. This episode will teach you mindfulness strategies you can use to help you stay grounded and present during the postpartum period and throughout your child’s entire lifespan.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
We talk a lot about secure attachment on this podcast—which is certainly the best case scenario. But the reality is that not everyone forms a secure attachment bond. So what can we learn about insecure attachment patterns? And are there some forms of insecure attachments that are better than others?
Here to answer these questions and discuss the finding of his research on attachment theory is Dr. Or Dagan.
Whether you’ve never heard about attachment theory before or you’re deep in the trenches of unpacking your own attachment style and working to re-parenting yourself, this conversation where we dispel some of the most common fears and anxieties about attachment theory that have parents striving for perfection (and beating themselves up when they inevitably can’t hit that), discuss the difference between separation anxiety and insecure attachment, and translate the current studies to be simple, relatable and applicable to your everyday life will have you feeling confident and empowered in your parenting!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
RIE, which stands for Resources for Infant Educarers, is a parenting philosophy created by Magda Gerber that has gained a lot of attention in recent years. Yet, there are still some common misconceptions many parents have about this approach.
Here to shed some light on the teachings of RIE is the founder of Beech Street Parenting, Courtney Dern.
If you are pregnant or a new parent, you won’t want to miss hearing why you actually need way less stuff than you may think, strategies for setting your child up with independent open-ended play opportunities from the start (plus why this is beneficial for their development), and the importance of slowing down to support your baby's natural curiosity and exploration of the world around them.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
RIE, which stands for Resources for Infant Educarers, is a parenting philosophy created by Magda Gerber that has gained a lot of attention in recent years. Yet, there are still some common misconceptions many parents have about this approach.
Here to shed some light on the teachings of RIE is the founder of Beech Street Parenting, Courtney Dern.
If you are pregnant or a new parent, you won’t want to miss hearing why you actually need way less stuff than you may think, strategies for setting your child up with independent open-ended play opportunities from the start (plus why this is beneficial for their development), and the importance of slowing down to support your baby's natural curiosity and exploration of the world around them.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Were you uninvited to a birthday party, laughed at by a group of mean girls, or maybe even bullied? If you had some tough times in elementary, middle, or high school, it’s easy to inadvertently be projecting your own experiences onto your child as they develop their own social group.
Last week’s Securely Attached episode was all about peer rejection in toddlerhood—how to make space for a dialogue, develop a growth mindset, and help your child build their compassion, empathy, and social awareness.
While the fundamentals are the same, peer rejection in elementary or pre-teen child years can be much more nuanced. So Dr. Emily Upshur of Upshur Bren Psychology Group is back to help parents of older kiddos learn how best to support them, when to step in, how much emotional scaffolding to provide, and some key indicators that it may be time to seek professional help.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Were you uninvited to a birthday party, laughed at by a group of mean girls, or maybe even bullied? If you had some tough times in elementary, middle, or high school, it’s easy to inadvertently be projecting your own experiences onto your child as they develop their own social group.
Last week’s Securely Attached episode was all about peer rejection in toddlerhood—how to make space for a dialogue, develop a growth mindset, and help your child build their compassion, empathy, and social awareness.
While the fundamentals are the same, peer rejection in elementary or pre-teen child years can be much more nuanced. So Dr. Emily Upshur of Upshur Bren Psychology Group is back to help parents of older kiddos learn how best to support them, when to step in, how much emotional scaffolding to provide, and some key indicators that it may be time to seek professional help.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When we hear our children say things like, “I don’t want to play with her” or “that’s my toy” it’s easy for us to feel flooded and want to shut down the situations with comments like, “that’s not very nice” or “you need to share.”
But peer rejection is a normal and healthy part of development. While it may take some work for us to calm our own fight or flight response so we can be open to this, it can be helpful to try to lean in and open up a dialogue with our children in these instances so that we may build their compassion, empathy and social awareness.
Joining me today is the co-founder of our practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur. We’ll dive deep into many of the ways we can do this with our young children, offering you tools and thought provoking prompts—whether your child is the aggressor or the recipient—to help you and your child navigate peer rejection.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When we hear our children say things like, “I don’t want to play with her” or “that’s my toy” it’s easy for us to feel flooded and want to shut down the situations with comments like, “that’s not very nice” or “you need to share.”
But peer rejection is a normal and healthy part of development. While it may take some work for us to calm our own fight or flight response so we can be open to this, it can be helpful to try to lean in and open up a dialogue with our children in these instances so that we may build their compassion, empathy and social awareness.
Joining me today is the co-founder of our practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur. We’ll dive deep into many of the ways we can do this with our young children, offering you tools and thought provoking prompts—whether your child is the aggressor or the recipient—to help you and your child navigate peer rejection.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Human evolution is incredible. We come out of the womb knowing that our greatest chance of survival is to attach to a primary caretaker who will keep us safe. And that innate wisdom is what motivates children to seek closeness and connection to their secure base.
When children suffer from an anxiety disorder the threat detector in their brain is on overdrive and more and more they rely on their parents to protect and soothe them. And while parents have the best intentions, this interpersonal dance can actually serve to increase the severity and frequency of anxiety in children.
Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center has pioneered a new treatment that interrupts that dance! By altering the way parents respond to their child when they are in distress, rather than fueling the flames of anxiety, parents are able to lessen the symptoms, all without asking their child to change his or her behavior in any way.
SPACE has been a game changer in my private practice and I was delighted when Dr. Lebowitz agreed to come on the podcast to discuss the incredible work he is doing and the amazing results they are seeing.
If you are interested in learning more about the work that Upshur Bren Psychology Group is doing to treat child anxiety and OCD with SPACE, go to upshurbren.com/space.
Human evolution is incredible. We come out of the womb knowing that our greatest chance of survival is to attach to a primary caretaker who will keep us safe. And that innate wisdom is what motivates children to seek closeness and connection to their secure base.
When children suffer from an anxiety disorder the threat detector in their brain is on overdrive and more and more they rely on their parents to protect and soothe them. And while parents have the best intentions, this interpersonal dance can actually serve to increase the severity and frequency of anxiety in children.
Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center has pioneered a new treatment that interrupts that dance! By altering the way parents respond to their child when they are in distress, rather than fueling the flames of anxiety, parents are able to lessen the symptoms, all without asking their child to change his or her behavior in any way.
SPACE has been a game changer in my private practice and I was delighted when Dr. Lebowitz agreed to come on the podcast to discuss the incredible work he is doing and the amazing results they are seeing.
If you are interested in learning more about the work that Upshur Bren Psychology Group is doing to treat child anxiety and OCD with SPACE, go to upshurbren.com/space.
When we teach our young children to slow down, to notice their emotions, then equip them with tools for navigating their tricky feelings like disappointment, impatience, boredom, sadness, or anger, we lay the foundation for a kinder and more empathetic society.
It was an honor to speak to Dr. Dan Siegel, a pioneer in the field of psychology and the study of mindfulness.
It all starts with us! We’ll talk about mindset shifts parents can make to foster self-compassion and ways we can aid in developing our children’s social and emotional learning.
We’ll also talk about Dr. Siegel’s new books, how we can reshape our brain through mindfulness, and the role this plays in helping us develop a connection to ourselves, our peers and the entire interconnected world we’re all a part of.
I walked away from our conversation feeling optimistic, empowered and ready to take on the challenges that await us all in life, and I think you will too!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When we teach our young children to slow down, to notice their emotions, then equip them with tools for navigating their tricky feelings like disappointment, impatience, boredom, sadness, or anger, we lay the foundation for a kinder and more empathetic society.
It was an honor to speak to Dr. Dan Siegel, a pioneer in the field of psychology and the study of mindfulness.
It all starts with us! We’ll talk about mindset shifts parents can make to foster self-compassion and ways we can aid in developing our children’s social and emotional learning.
We’ll also talk about Dr. Siegel’s new books, how we can reshape our brain through mindfulness, and the role this plays in helping us develop a connection to ourselves, our peers and the entire interconnected world we’re all a part of.
I walked away from our conversation feeling optimistic, empowered and ready to take on the challenges that await us all in life, and I think you will too!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
It can be difficult and scary to talk about death as adults, so having to do so with our kids can cause us to freeze up and shut down. But by being open and honest about death, an inevitable part of life, we lay the groundwork our children need to develop the tools to process loss and work through feelings of grief and pain.
Here to help us unpack our own anxiety, so we may break cycles of avoidance and fear, is death doula Heather Hogan.
If you’ve never heard of a death doula, don’t worry, we’ll kick off our conversation talking about what exactly that is. Then we’ll get into the importance of introducing the concept of death to our children early in life, strategies to avoid projecting your own feelings and fears onto them, developmentally appropriate resources and books you can use to introduce these concepts, and more.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
There can be many reasons why children may experience prolonged separations from a parent. From planned separations like for military families or when one parent must take a job far away, to unplanned situations in the case of mental illness, substance abuse or abandonment.
I’ve received several listener questions asking for guidance on how to best help their child process and work through their parental abandonment issues, so here to offer insight on this subject is Dr. Emily Upshur.
What we know from attachment science and psychological research allows us, as a consistent presence in our child’s life, to use strategies and establish action plans that best support children who are struggling with an unstable parent in ways that can foster resilience, empathy and lifelong emotional wellbeing, in spite of this challenge.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
✨ Send an email to info@drsarahbren.com
✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When we become parents for the second or third time, one of the most common experiences (that people often don't talk about) is the grief parents feel for their big kiddo and the changes that are about to rock their world. That is just one of the many emotions, challenges and joys that come with expanding our families.
Here to talk about what it was like for her to transition from one child to two, is model, mom and co-founder of Wander Beauty, Lindsay Ellingson.
From growing her family, navigating sibling dynamics, finding a work-life balance, learning strategies for the inevitable toddler tantrums and making time for self-care, this conversation is a relatable look at motherhood today.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
During the pandemic, "burnout" became a trendy buzzword getting thrown around social media, blogs, and moms groups. But what is the actual medical definition of burnout and how can learning about what it is help us to move out of the never ending state of exhaustion many parents are faced with today?
Joining me to clear the confusion and offer strategies for finding balance is Board Certified Physician Assistant and the founder of Run Tell Mom, Shelley Kemmerer.
The cure to burnout is not about quick fixes or a day at the spa; we’ll talk about the personal and systemic changes that need to be implemented and prioritized in order to support an entire generation of parents faced with unreasonably high expectations and battling constant parenting guilt.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
The stereotypes surrounding fatherhood often revolve around a disengaged father figure described as “baby-sitting” their own child, lacking deep emotions, and blindly following their wife’s advice.
But that is far from the reality for most modern-day fathers. Here to give us that often elusive real dad perspective is father of two and therapist, Eli Weinstein.
Eli will give us a peek into the mind of a dad, discuss the importance of men finding their own community of support, and share the strategies he and his wife have implemented to help them create a true partnership in parenthood.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Science has shown that the best way to help our kids become independent, confident, kind, empathetic, and happy is by talking with them. But while we may know that what we say to our children matters, we may not know exactly how to get started or what to do to encourage honest, open and thoughtful communication.
Here to help parents learn the secrets of effective communication is speech pathologist, Rebecca Rolland.
This episode will help you to understand just how powerful language can be and teach you to actionable techniques for fostering authentic and natural conversations with your children, no matter their age, that can lead to the development of a strong and secure attachment bond.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Whether potty training isn’t going as planned, or you’re just nervous about gearing up to undertake your child’s’ transition out of diapers, that added pressure, frustration and anxiety can create a vicious cycle, making potty learning more difficult— for you and your child.
Here to help identify potential problem areas (physically and emotionally), and how parents can avoid potty training pitfalls, is the owner of Aloha Integrative Therapy, Occupational Therapist Quiara Smith.
Quiara shares incredible insights about when it’s time (or more importantly when it’s too early) to start potty training, the importance of coregulation, and she breaks down the basics of our child’s anatomy and physiology so we can effectively support them through everything from bedwetting to constipation or whatever toileting or pelvic health challenges may lay ahead.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Moms are overwhelmed, exhausted and burnt out. There is a major lacking in systems to support new, working and stay-at-home moms… so basically, that's every mother.
It is important for us to fight for change, but the weight of that constant battle and stream of seemingly never-ending bad news can feel too heavy to carry at times.
Joining me to discuss the advocacy work The Chamber of Mothers is doing, ways you can get involved, and how to find joy in an often turbulent world is the founder of Working Momtras, Raena Boston. If you’ve been feeling helpless or hopeless in light of recent events, I hope this episode makes you feel empowered and renewed in its collective call to action and message of togetherness.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Being intentional about the way we parent our young children now can help lay critical groundwork that will allow them to flourish in adulthood. Lessons like independence, self-confidence, and resilience can all be fostered through helping to build emotional intelligence in our kids.
Joining me to discuss how you can help prepare your own children to tackle life in the real world is mother of 4 and Family Life & Leadership Coach, Nellie Harden.
We’ll talk about why and how you can use your parent-child relationship as an incredibly effective motivator for kids, how to help children understand the difference between fair and equal by breaking it down into terms they can understand, how trusting in your children teaches them to trust in themselves, and many other valuable lessons every parent will want to learn!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Parenting in an age of ever changing technology—battling over screen time use, deciding when to allow your child to have a smart phone, and understanding how much screen time is too much—can be confusing for parents of children of all ages.
Joining me today to help parents learn to cut through the confusion and successfully navigate parenting in the digital age is The Screentime Consultant, Emily Cherkin.
If you want to understand why screens are so addictive, how to help our children establish healthy relationships with technology, and techniques for transitioning them off of their devices without a meltdown (most of the time) then this is an episode you won’t want to miss!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
A few weeks ago I recorded an amazing episode on sex and intimacy after baby with The WTF Trimester creator, Chelsea Skaggs. And it seemed to hit a nerve, because I received tons of feedback from that episode! For some of you, learning how to communicate your needs to your partner in a way they would be able to hear you was just what you needed. But I also got some DMs from moms who are facing a different problem when it comes to sex in early parenthood…
Whether after the birth of a child, or a few years down the road, parents can sometimes feel themselves pulled in so many directions that at the end of the day, they find it difficult to have anything left to give. This can be especially true for postpartum mamas.
So this week's episode is filled with actionable strategies and mindset shifts that you can make if you are feeling touched out, overstimulated or anxious about intimacy. These can help you to feel connected to yourself so you are open to having a vulnerable and deep connection with your partner. This is an episode you won’t want to miss!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
There is no shortage of doctor visits and wellness checks during your child’s first few years. And that can cause some apprehension and anxiety for both parents and children.
I am so excited to welcome my family’s own pediatrician, Dr. Rachel Geronemus, onto the podcast to fill us all in on what pediatricians want parents to know! This conversation is chalk full of helpful tips, like what you can expect at your child’s next doctor's appointment, developmentally appropriate expectations to set, and strategies you can implement weeks and days ahead of their next visit to make for a more calm and enjoyable experience for you both.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
For many couples, the birth of a child can bring with it a shift in their intimate relationship. Having a child triggers such a sudden and massive transition to our identity, our body and sometimes even our sex drive, so it makes perfect sense that new parents can often find themselves on different pages when it comes to intimacy and sex.
And that is just one of the reasons I am so excited to talk about ways couples can rebuild connection and intimacy in their relationship with life coach and the creator of the WTF Trimester, Chelsea Skaggs.
It’s not about where you’ve been, but about acknowledging where you are now and where you’d like to go. Chelsea will share some powerful suggestions and step-by-step guidance for working to get back your spark, combating some of the most common sources of postpartum sex anxiety, and working on your inner growth to help you feel more confident and assured in your own skin.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Executive functioning skills are the systems, structures and routines we establish in our daily life that make us successful. Do you always put the mail on the end table when you walk in the door? That’s a perfect example of this.
These skills are housed within the prefrontal cortex and that part of the brain isn’t fully developed until we are in our 20s! So all children, whether they are neurotypical or struggle with an executive functioning skills deficit like ADHD, can benefit from exercising this “muscle.”
This week I am talking with the cofounder of our group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur along with our executive functioning coach, Donna Jerecki, to offer parents easy and fun suggestions they can use all summer long that will build upon this skillset. We’ll also discuss the brain science of executive functioning and how what might seem like behavioral issues may actually be a sign of an executive function deficit, plus when it’s time to consider bringing in additional support.
Want to explore if executive functioning coaching may be a good fit for you or your child? Check out upshurbren.com to learn more.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Raising children today in a world saturated with guns, active shooter drills at school and mass shootings on the news can leave parents feeling overwhelmed and unsure.
I wanted to talk directly to you about the psychology and developmental aspect of aggression and the impact of both toy and real guns on our children and society at large. This isn’t about me telling you what is right or wrong, good or bad, what you should or shouldn’t do with your own child, but simply about arming you with some fundamental information so you can make informed and conscious decisions for yourself.
Many of my patients in the past few weeks have been expressing feelings of helplessness and hopelessness in the wake of the horrific incident in Uvalde, Texas. If you or your child are struggling with these feelings too, stay tuned to the end of the episode when I’ll suggest some actionable strategies you can use to work toward shifting those feelings to ones of empowerment.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
As our children grow into the people they will be, so too do we grow into the parents we become. Alexis Barad-Cutler, the founder of Not Safe For Mom Group, found herself in that very situation when her youngest child, Gavi, expressed the need to be the “real Gavi” at 3-years-old.
In this episode Alexis shares her raw and powerful story of leaning in and learning how to support her non-gender conforming child in a way that makes them feel seen, accepted and loved. Whether you are finding yourself questioning how best to support your child through any type of adversity or you’re just curious to learn more about the topic of gender identity and how it can present in children, this is an episode centered on the universally relatable truth of one parent’s love.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
If you're listening to this podcast, you're probably already at least somewhat versed in the styles of positive, gentle, respectful or responsive parenting. But whatever you call it, there are many societal misconceptions about what these styles are. Here to help me bust some myths and dig into the research and brain science behind why we're shifting past behaviorism is Sarah R. Moore. From intergenerational transmission of parenting styles, redefining our goals, and the importance of strengthening mental and emotional health in our children, you won't want to miss this deep dive into WHY these new parenting styles are effective.
And go ahead and share this episode with anyone in your life who isn't quite on board with positive parenting or feels it's too permissive. This is a safe space free of shame and judgment - we're all just doing the best we can!
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Establishing and holding boundaries can be challenging, especially when those limits need to be set within family units.
Dr. Emily Upshur, my partner from our group practice Upshur Bren Psychology Group in Westchester, NY is back to help one mom who writes in looking for help establishing boundaries with her in-laws. We’ll talk about strategies for engaging grandparents while also maintaining appropriate boundaries, the difference between internal and external boundaries and how you can integrate both into your life, and concrete steps for addressing excessive gift giving, unaligned parenting values, opposing political views and more.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
Finding a therapist who you trust and who can offer you proper support can be a complicated process for many people. One of the reasons for this is the confusing and sometimes even misleading terms used in the field of mental health.
Joining me today is research psychologist and medical staff member at the Austen Riggs Center, Dr. Katie C. Lewis. We’ll discuss the differences and similarities between cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy, how to determine which treatment modality is right for your unique family, and arm you with the knowledge you need for finding a therapist that will best support your goals and honor your parenting values, whether your seeking treatment for yourself or your child.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
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✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I want to highlight the importance of finding trusted resources women can turn to for maternal mental health support through pre-pregnancy, pregnancy and postpartum.
Joining me today is Dr. Tracy Shevell. We’ll discuss her almost 20 years of experience in a hospital setting that led her to believe the system is broken and the how she’s working to change this by creating Blue Moon Perinatal. We’ll also review her 3-step process to help expecting parents feel informed and confident going into their OB-GYN appointments, whether they are having a typical or high risk pregnancy.
Want to get more from Dr. Sarah Bren?
✨ Follow Dr. Sarah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/
✨ Subscribe to the weekly newsletter: https://drsarahbren.com/join-newsletter
✨ And check out her website for more free parenting resources: https://drsarahbren.com/resources
There are many activities parents can incorporate into their child’s daily routine to support their sensory processing abilities and help them learn to effectively regulate their emotions.
Joining me this week is Laura Petix, also known as The OT Butterfly, to discuss what exactly occupational therapy is, why it can be so beneficial for children, the role our 8 senses (that’s right, I said 8) play in our ability to remain calm and in control, and the best way to set our children up for success whether they are neurotypical or neurodivergent.
And if you want to equip yourself with the most effective tools to reduce the frequency, duration, and intensity of tantrums, check out my new intensive, The Science of Tantrums: How to help your child get back to a place of calm connection – without yelling, giving in or making it worse. Go to drsarahbren.com/tantrums to sign up and learn more!
Did you know there is a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown? Do you know what that difference is?
Dr. Emily Upshur, from Upshur Bren Psychology Group, is back to answer those questions and help arm parents with the tools they need to best support their child through each. We’ll discuss what is happening in your child’s brain and body when they’re dysregulated, why these aren’t manipulative behaviors, and address the misconception that parents need to ignore bad behavior as a means of not reinforcing it.
And if you want to equip yourself with the most effective tools to reduce the frequency, duration, and intensity of tantrums, check out my course The Science of Tantrums: How to help your child get back to a place of calm connection – without yelling, giving in or making it worse. Go to drsarahbren.com/tantrums to sign up and learn more!
Dr. Emily (00:00):
This is like babies crying is their communication toddlers. And even a little bit older children, tantruming is their way of communicating that they're dysregulated and they need a little bit of help with that.
Dr. Sarah (00:16):
Do you wish you knew exactly what to do before during and after your child's tantrums? Not just to get them to stop, but to stop in a way that actually benefits their development, their mental health and their relationship to you. That is exactly why I made The Science of Tantrums. A highly targeted framework created by me, a clinical psychologist and mom of two toddlers, to help you understand what exactly is happening in your child's brain and their body, when they have a tantrum and I'll teach you the most effective tools to reduce the frequency, duration, and intensity of dysregulation over time. And because it's a framework, not a one size fits all script, it allows you to meet your own child exactly where they are at any given moment, no matter how big their dysregulation gets. Over my 12 years of clinical experience, I have honed strategies that I have seen work with everyone from developmentally typical children, to those with some of the most severe cases of behavioral and emotional disorders. I know this works because I've seen it work time and time again. To learn more and to sign up for the science of tantrums, go to drsarahbren.com/tantrums. That's drsarahbren.com/tantrums.
Dr. Sarah (01:39):
Tantrums, meltdowns pitching a fit, whatever you wanna call when our kids get to that point of hysteria, it can leave parents feeling overwhelmed and under prepared. Dr. Emily Upshur my partner from our joint group practice Upshur Bren Psychology Group is back today to address a question that we both get asked a lot. What is the difference between a tantrum and a melt? We'll share our thoughts on what sets these two things apart and offer you strategies for supporting your child through all levels of their dysregulation.
Dr. Sarah (02:15):
Hi, I'm Dr. Sarah Bren, a clinical psychologist and mom of two in this podcast. I've taken all of my clinical experience, current research on brain science and child psychology and the insights I've gained on my own parenting journey and distilled everything down into easy to understand and actionable parenting insights. So you can tune out the noise and tune into your own authentic parenting voice with confidence and calm. This is Securely Attached.
Dr. Sarah (02:49):
Hello. Welcome back, Emily Upshur. I am so glad to have you here today to answer some of our listener questions. And this is one that I just get in my DMS constantly and in comments, which is what is the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown?
Dr. Emily (03:09):
Yeah, I get this a lot too. And I think we sort of, as parents debate back and forth about this as well. So I'm so excited to be here and talk about these differences or you know, how we approach these things.
Dr. Sarah (03:21):
Yes. so it's really interesting too, when we're talking about tantrums and meltdowns, because just like we were talking a little bit before we hit record, but this idea that there's a lot of difference in the field on what is actually the difference and people have, there's a lot of nuance to it and a lot of different opinions about it. So I think our goal today is gonna be really just to lay out what a lot of, sort of the mainstream understanding of tantrums and meltdowns are, and maybe where we might actually even differ from that mainstream understanding a little bit and what parent can actually do to help both of these kinds of situations.
Dr. Emily (04:05):
Yeah. I mean, I think we can start with tantrums cause I think that that's sort of right out there with, you know, a certain regularity, like everybody knows a child who's had a tantrum. And I think, you know, some of the more, you know, colloquial understanding of tantrums is that they're, some people think they're a little bit more like milder outbursts, where the child might have some control and some even think like, oh, it'll just sort of come and go and it'll go on its own. And I actually think of tantrums a little bit differently than that. I think of tantrums a little bit more, I think they're developmentally very appropriate. So I think it's really important to come out of the gate saying that. Kids are supposed to have tantrums. Tantrums are part of growing and, you know, learning about your environment, testing your environment, testing the limits, and also about self-regulation like how, how self-regulated you are in that moment. And of course that changes over time, but we expect younger children to have tantrums because they don't have the tools for self-regulation. And they're trying to test those limits about how much control they do have themselves, right? Like how much control do I have over sort of self-regulating right now in this moment.
Dr. Sarah (05:19):
Yeah. And even how much control do I have over my environment right now in this moment? Like, how much control do I have to get this thing I want? How much control do I have to make this thing I don't want go away.
Dr. Emily (05:29):
Yeah. Yeah. And I think we, I think it's also important. We didn't say, we haven't talked about this, but I think it's, it's also important. Kids have like an epic loss of control and that's supposed to be what it is, but they have very little control over their lives. You know? So as an adult, if you're feeling a little off, you may just retreat and like cope, right. Or do something for yourself and kids really don't have those options. And so you do see a lot more of these tantrums or, you know, meltdowns as we'll get into in a bit because they're really trying to figure out how to self-regulate within this very structured or contained or limited environment that you have as a child.
Dr. Sarah (06:08):
Yeah. And I think this is a very interesting way that you're, you're saying, cuz in my mind, I'm like they're trying to get the thing that they want in that moment that that's their driving force. And you're saying they're really trying to self-regulate in this moment. It makes me realize for a child self-regulation actually can be explode, explode to release this feeling that I can't get out of my body because I can't, I can't manipulate my environment to get the thing that I need would turn this feeling off. Like I'm thinking of an example where like, you know, I poured the orange juice in the pink cup and the purple cup and my daughter took the pink one and my son got the purple, but he wanted that pink one. And now he's not getting what he wanted because I'm not going to take the cup away from my daughter and give it to him. He wants that cup. He can't have that cup. The feeling is of frustration and anger is welling up inside of his little body and it's too much. And he doesn't have that. Like, you know, like you were saying, those grown up skills to say, maybe I can ask for the pink cup for my dinner tonight. Maybe I can do something else. Maybe I can think about something that makes me happy. Like whatever it is, maybe I can go away and take a couple breaths in the living room and come back to the kitchen, whatever it is. He can't do that. So what does he do with that big ball of anger? The actually the best way for him to self-regulate in that moment is to push it out of his body to release it. And that's the tantrum.
Dr. Emily (07:41):
Yeah. And I mean, I think that that's exactly right. And, and some of the things you're talking about, some of the things you just mentioned are really what we call executive functioning. Let's talk a little bit about brain science, right? These are executive functioning skills and those skills are distress tolerance, like, right. Like how do you live with something you don't really want to, but gonna have to sort of hold onto impulse control, right? Like how do you not react with your first gut reaction? I'm sure a lot of us would love to do that. I always joke that, you know, childhood tantrums over exact examples, like you are mentioning, Sarah are, wouldn't it be, wouldn't it feel good as an adult every now and again, to just like really let it rip cuz you didn't get what you wanted, you know?We don't do that because our brains are further developed. And so I think it's really important when we see our children in these states to think of it a little bit, like with a little bit more empathy in that way. Like that there is an immense lack of control of their ability to, to self-regulate and this is their attempt of getting it out of them. Maybe that's onto you, you know, that's our role as parents to be that container. And then we can help them co-regulate after that. But that they're really trying the best that they can. This is like babies crying is their communication toddlers and even a little bit older children, tantruming is their way of communicating that they're dysregulated and they need a little bit of help with that.
Dr. Sarah (09:06):
Yes. Yes. And then so, but then the meltdown, how was that different than a tantrum?
Dr. Emily (09:14):
Yeah, I mean, it's interesting. I, you know, I really think of a meltdown as a true lack of control, like a loss of your, your states, right? Like a loss of your ability to self-regulate in a more profound way than a tantrum. And I often say meltdowns are more impacted by physiological stressors. So if your child is hungry or tired or doesn't feel very well that those can, not to say that that can't contribute to tantrums, but it seems, it appears more often in meltdowns in my, and how I view this. And it can be very common to sort of like put these things on the same, continuum. But as we talked before, I think meltdowns are, are almost past the point of intervention at that moment. You're worth a tantrum. There's a little bit of a window in to co-regulate as a parent. And that's not to say you don't try to co-regulate during a meltdown, but it is important that it's harder. You sometimes you just have to survive the meltdown. That's how I think of it. You just kind of have to weather that wave, that storm is gonna come and just like anxiety, you know, it's gonna plateau and then it'll eventually go down and then, then you can get back to a place of intervention, a bit more of an intervention. Ubut I do think of a, of meltdowns as even, you know, we can talk about volatile and how volatile any of these things are. But I think of as a complete loss of control these meltdowns.
Dr. Sarah (10:49):
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's, for me seeing that meltdown in that way and seeing it as kind of like, it's like a tantrum, but further past the point of no return gives me as a parent, a little permission to say to myself, like, all I need to do right now is just be a calm presence. I don't have to do anything. Whereas like with a tantrum, I might have a more direct intervention. Like I might be trying to offer some, some, you know, threads that they might be able to pull themselves through on like, can we problem solve this? Can I validate your feeling? There's more talking in a tantrum for me, when my kids are having a tantrum, I'm connecting more verbally with a child. When my child's melting down. I really stop verbal communication. I really use my nonverbal body language more. So I'm still, co-regulating, I'm still intervening, but I'm using my body language, my facial expressions. I'm giving them more space, but I'm not leaving them alone.
Dr. Emily (12:03):
Yeah.
Dr. Sarah (12:04):
And that's, that's sort of the difference for me when, when I'm sometimes a tantrum can kind of evolve into a meltdown too. So that's where I think that continuum piece is very appropriate to think of it that way. But I do think we're sort of, it's like a continuum, but there's like a parallel. Like it needs to go to a different place. We need to have a different strategy for it.
Dr. Emily (12:27):
Yeah. I mean, and I think of it, I always joke with parents and I think like, as a grown up, if you were really dysregulated, how often does it really help if someone says like calm down, you know. Or how often does it help if someone says, you know, it's not that big of a deal. Like those things don't really help. Right. And so I think through, you know, like those are ways that we need to think, or that it's manipulative and on our part that we're, that we are being upset or dysregulated. Right. I think it's really important for us to think through how we can both understand where these are coming from and then how to respond to them.
Dr. Sarah (13:01):
Yes. And I think like, to your point, how do we find the empathy? And a lot of how we find empathy is to pay attention to our interpretation of the behavior, right? If we're seeing our child, whether it's a tantrum or a meltdown, if we're look especially a tantrum, if we're looking at our child's tantrum and saying, you are manipulating me, you are trying to get me to give you what you want. If I continue to give you what you want, this is gonna teach you, this is okay. All of a sudden we're moving away from empathy there. Like that's not those thoughts. Aren't really congruent with empathy. I don't tend to feel empathy towards someone who's manipulating me.
Dr. Emily (13:38):
And we're also moving away from our overall parent goal of teaching. Right. You know, like one of our goals is to teach how to have a better reaction in that moment for both of us. And I think where that manipulation thing comes in is it's a lot of societal judgment, honestly, right? If you're in the grocery store and your kids having a "tantrum," you know, because they want sugar cereal, you know, or whatever, you know, you're all of a sudden under a microscope and it's very difficult to hold the line in a way that might feel most aligned with your parenting style. You just want it to stop, you know. And that's where we get into these cycles of, we just wanted to stop. So maybe we aren't getting down to the child's level and saying, you really want that cereal, but we're not gonna get those cereals. Cause we don't have those cereals in our house and it's okay to be upset about that, but we're still not gonna get it. But you're in the grocery store, you're not kneeling down on the ground, you know, necessarily, you know, you're rushing, it's the end of the day. And this is where I was talking about some of the physiological. Sometimes you have to go to the grocery store when your child is tired and or hungry or, you know, and you're gonna, you sort of have to be prepared that you might have more tantrums or meltdowns in those situations. And how, how we can sort of go in with that frame of mind saying, okay, I know it's, this is tough. Oh, I might have pushed you too far. Or you, I know you're tired, we're gonna go really fast and try to get through this. Those are sort of different ways that I think we have to navigate the inevitable, but also sort of keep in mind what our goal is, is teaching, teaching them how to say, oh, you know what? I am just really tired eventually. One day they'll hopefully get that insight. And not that they're, you know, just being manipulative in that moment.
Dr. Sarah (15:27):
Right. And I think too, and we, if we think about it as manipulation, which is not uncommon and I think very, very often I hear parents saying, but you know, they're just trying to get what they want. And let's break that down a bit, cuz yes, yes you are correct. They are just trying to get what they want. But the concept of manipulation requires a pretty high order level of thinking. It requires a pretty abstract and sophisticated thought process that I would argue most toddlers don't have. And certainly not, certainly not in a dysregulated moment. So yes they are in that very moment. Let's say they've been, or they're upset about an outcome or they want something and they aren't getting it. And they become dysregulated. They're very in that they're very singularly present and focused on the thing they don't want. They aren't actually sitting there thinking if I scream about this long enough, mom is gonna give it to me. So let's keep screaming so that I get what I want. That's so much more sophisticated than their thought process. They're just sort of flooded with, I want this and I don't have it. I want this and I don't have it. I want this and I don't have it. And here comes the tantrum. So can you talk a little bit about the distinction there?
Dr. Emily (16:54):
Yeah, I mean, look, manipulation really would require that they would go into that thinking, this is what they're gonna get out of it, right? Like I'm gonna go into this grocery store and I'm gonna get mommy to get me this sugar cereal. That is not what happens at all. Right. That is a level of abstract reasoning or planning and executive functioning, that just cognitively younger children do not have. In fact, they don't have that for quite a while, like much older than you might expect. So you're right. They don't go in saying, I'm gonna get this cereal. What they go in is they say, they see the cereal, they think I'm hungry and that looks amazing. And in that moment I just, I really, this is what I need. I really feel like I need this. I really, really want this. And this is what will make me feel better. And they lose the ability to see anything else. Right. And it's very myopic. It's very right there that singular need it doesn't even abstract. Right. They might say fine. Then get me something else, sugary that that's not even happening. They just want the cereal. So the thought of manipulation is really much, much bigger and more sophisticated and sort of spreads to other things. When, when you think of your child in these meltdowns, they're in a loop about this one thing because that's the one thing they're trying, they think if they get they'll feel better. Again, back to this self-regulation and they'll feel better. Right.
Dr. Sarah (18:18):
Right. And I think so when we, as parents, instead of seeing our child as manipulating us in this moment, I think we, because I also think there's this, and this is a very common thing that people actually teach parents to do when their child is having a tantrum is to ignore it, or to not reinforce it because of the belief that if I give into this tantrum, if I give it attention, it will continue. And I'm teaching the child that a tantrum is okay to have. And I have, I find quite a flaw in that.
Dr. Emily (18:55):
Yeah. I mean, I think it's really tricky, right? Because it is true that some of these tantrums or weak moments or weaker moments that children have, can be, become learned behaviors if we, as parents or the environment colludes with it, right. At the same time, that's not their intention, you know, they're not going again. They're not going in like that. But I do think we have to be very careful about how as parents, that we, that we handle this and going back to your point of teaching and co-regulation in those moments is really critical. Right. We wanna be able to say, I see what's going on. You're not a bad kid. You're really hungry. And you think this will make you feel better. Right. And you just say that, you know, you can just, oh, maybe I pushed you too hard. You're so tired. And here we are at the grocery grocery store, isn't that yucky feeling. Right. And that's not to say, I know, I know you know, it's not aligned with you and I to sort of ignore a child in this moment, but that also doesn't mean you have to stay in it forever. Right. You can lead with that validation. You can say, like, I know you really want it. And, and I'm not gonna be able to get that for you. And that feels really yucky, you know? And you can stay in that for a few moments, but then you can move on. Right. But we have to get through the grocery store. So we're just gonna keep going. And that's where it gets a little tricky for pants are like, but isn't that ignoring? And then I'm like, you know, and we discuss about not really, right? Like we're trying to do distraction or other techniques in those moments, but we've also led with validation and seeing the child for what's really going on.
Dr. Sarah (20:42):
Exactly. It's like, you, you can, you don't have to do the validation forever and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, otherwise you are ignoring, but if you start with distraction or you start with ignoring, you're missing that first really important piece. But once you've done the validation, once your child knows you see them, you are here, you've, you've hooked them at that connection. You know, then they're safe enough to be, they're connected to, and you can then say, let's move through this a bit. You know, I'm gonna help you move out of this. Now that is again, that's tantrum level. We're not gonna be able to do that with a meltdown. And, and also real quick, I wanna go back to one other thing you were saying, which is, you know, if we, I agree very much with what you're saying, that we can validate and not necessarily stay in it indefinitely with them, and that's different than ignoring, but also what's different than that idea of reinforcing the, you know, the behavior is this idea that we can, we can allow for a feeling without allowing or reinforcing the wish. Right? So the child wants the sugary cereal. My son wants the pink cup. Both of those kids are in a state of dysregulation because they aren't getting what they want. I can validate the feeling you really want that, Ugh, you're so upset that you don't have that. I get it. And I can still not give them the thing that they want. So there's where that learning piece might come in, that we can avoid that trap. Right. If every time my son screams, he wants the pink cup and I'm like, oh my God, I cannot handle another tantrum. Or, oh my God, my child can't be this upset. And I immediately give him the thing he wants to shut off the tantrum, which is also coming from a place of intolerance of tantrums. Then yeah, we might be setting everybody up for a learned behavior. That's very different than saying, you really want this, I'm validating this experience. You're having, I'm naming that feeling. That's in your body. I'm giving you space to have it. I'm not giving you the wish. Because we can't always have the wish, but I'm here. I'm here for you. In this pain. That's real.
Dr. Emily (23:11):
I agree completely. And I, and I think I always joke, like we're never, we're never gonna be able to do this perfectly. I think it's important to say that. Like, sometimes you're just gonna give the pink cup cause you want the kid to stop, you know, that's gonna happen.
Dr. Sarah (23:22):
Oh yeah. 100%.
Dr. Emily (23:24):
But I think the other piece that I think is really important that you touched upon is the other way we reinforce the is by automatically giving the pink cup to your son right. Before they even ask for it. We're trying to ward off a tantrum. We're walking on a little bit of eggshells. Right. We're colluding by making these accommodations to avoid something that hasn't even happened yet. Right.
Dr. Sarah (23:48):
Yes. We need to talk about that. That's very important.
Dr. Emily (23:50):
Extremely important. As ways that we, as parents reinforce some of these intolerance for tantrums. Right. And I joke with parents all the time, cuz they're like my goal, seeing you is to reduce my child's tantrums. And I'm always, my goal is for you to not avoid tantrums, the more tantrums they have, the more learning you get to do. And they're like, ah, but it is true, right. Like anything, the more you practice, the better you get at it. Right. As a parents. Right. So again, I think it's so important that we talk about, we think about and breakdown and look, we all do this, I do this all the time, you know? And, and, and like the accommodations and what are okay. Accommodations and what are ones that are reinforcing sort of things that we don't want to, or intolerances that we want our children to develop better skills for.
Dr. Sarah (24:44):
Yes, I do that too. I mean, one of the biggest things, one of the biggest mindset shifts, I often have to kind of work with parents into coming into when we start working together is when they, you know, they come in, cuz their kid has a lot of tantrums and they wanna help. I'm like, okay, the work is not to turn the tantrums off and not even to reduce the tantrums. The work is for you to be able to tolerate them more because we're shifting the way you think about what their function is.
Dr. Emily (25:11):
Yes, exactly. And I think it's actually really tricky and important and nuance to talk through also because we do want, and one of the things that I think is important to notice is when your children have patterns or when your children have these meltdown and we do want to set everyone up for success. So it's not that, you know, those are all accommodations for example, but we do want to, you know, so it's a little bit tricky, right? Cause we're, I'm both saying don't tiptoe and give your child the pink cup to avoid a conflict. But I'm also saying like, look, you know, if you know that child has a lot of tantrums, when they're hungry, let's make sure they have a snack before you go to the grocery store, you know? I do think that setting them up in those ways for success are important.
Dr. Sarah (25:56):
Right. And I would distinguish that between giving them what they want to avoid a tantrum versus managing their physiological, you know, balance homeostasis, the things that are from an internal place, setting off what might be a tantrum or may very well be a meltdown for them. If they're hangry, if they're tired, if they had a really long day at school where they really had to hold it together, teacher all day, maybe there's a kid in their class, that's, you know, kind of rubbing them the wrong way. And now they come home and they're letting it out. Like, you know, we talk about restraint collapse sometimes on here a lot. Like these are, that's not walking on eggshells to avoid a tantrum because you always keep a snack in your purse when you pick your kid up from daycare. Right. That's managing their nervous system, keeping them as regulated as you can facilitate so that you are setting them up for success should they come across a bump that might push them over that dysregulation edge, giving them more of a buffer. That's very different. I think like to your point that it's not the same thing as accommodating over accommodating. It's about sort of, I once wrote this thing on Instagram, I was like, we feed our kid all day long to kind of avoid ever hitting that hangry space. Like we give them, we always say like, don't wait for your kid to be hangry before you feed them. Right. Don't wait for your kid to be dysregulated before you regulate them. Yes. Like you can preemptively regulate your child and regulate their nervous system. Give them, make sure that they're physiologically getting some of their needs met to head off that tantrum to head off that dysregulated state.
Dr. Emily (27:50):
Yeah. And it's really important that, you know, I always say parents are experts on their kids. And so it's just about being mindful about the things that are tipping for your kids. Right. Hunger might not be your thing, but being tired might. Or sometimes parents you know, they're like, oh, that might have been what's going on. Cause the next morning they had a fever. You know, like there's a real, it's really nuanced and it's very child specific. So get to know your child and then, you know, do that work like exactly what you're saying. And I think, like my favorite phrase is we are trying to teach our children how to cope with tough feelings. We're not trying to teach them how to not have feelings. Right? We don't want them not to have feelings. We're not saying well, don't, you know, we wanna avoid saying, well, don't get upset about that. Or that's ridiculous. We wanna teach them how to cope with feeling. Everybody has feelings and everybody has tough feelings. So It doesn't, and we wanna give them an opportunity to cope with those things. Not just to not have them. Like our goal as a parent, isn't for them to not have affect.
Dr. Sarah (28:53):
Because having their feelings and us meeting those, even the really big intense ones with a lot of curiosity, compassion, co-regulation like our presence, our connectedness, that models for kids, that's a direct communication. That's an okay feeling to have. And then your child internalizes, this, this feeling that mommy just named for me, that's anger. That's a safe feeling. This feeling that mommy just named for me scared, I'm feeling really scared or I'm feeling really frustrated or I'm feeling really irritated. Like all of these feelings must be safe feelings. Mom knows what they are. She must have a, she's got this. Okay. You know, they're internalizing that these, this is how kids have healthy, emotional development, healthy, emotional intelligence, healthy, eventual capacity to self-regulate.
Dr. Emily (29:42):
Yes. I mean, I think that's really important. And I think it's important for us just to us to touch upon how as parents, we can do that when it's really hard. You know, I always say it's, it's okay to label your own emotions as parents, not in the service of changing your child's behavior, but in terms of sort of talking out loud, your self-regulate process, you know. And even taking a little bit of a break, right. It's okay to take a little bit of a break, you know? Especially if you're narrating, why, right. You're giving a little bit of like a, this is how I'm, you know, calming myself. This is how I'm doing this. And I think this goes back to something, you know, I'm sure you hear me say a million times on here, which is strike when the iron is cold tantrums and meltdowns are not teaching moments necessarily. There might be a little bit of, co-regulation more on the tantrum side and you know, those things, but this is not a good time to teach, not have used bad language or how to speak respectfully or, you know, why it's, you know, not okay to demand, you know, stuff when you have things, you know, a lot of parents always say to me, but they have everything in the world. And these aren't the teaching moments for those, for those types of things. So I think that's important to point out too.
Dr. Sarah (30:55):
Yes. There's, there's a time for that. You know, you get to, I always talk about the debrief, right? You can, which could be immediately after your child's kind of reconstituted. It could be later that day. It could be a day later even, but like going back over and saying, Hey, remember that time when we were at the grocery store and things got a little overwhelming or a little stressful, and you were really upset about that cereal. Let's can we about that for a minute? Like what was going, you know, being curious or if your kids really, really young, maybe instead of asking them to answer, just noticing, like I noticed you got really upset by that, and I'm wondering if maybe you were feeling really hungry and the idea of that cereal just was like, all you could think about. And you know, next time you want something or you're really hungry, what could you ask me? Or could you, you know, say mom, I'm really hungry and I could get you a snack. Or should we maybe have a plan that we should always have a little snack before we go into the grocery store and I'll be in charge of that next time. Like, so it's about problem that the problem solving and also that could be a to time where you could say, you know, we are really lucky that we have so many things. Maybe we could teach a little bit about gratitude or, you know, whatever, that's the time in the debrief.
Dr. Emily (32:17):
A hundred percent. And I also think like a lot of children look like they don't take in the debrief. So don't worry, like it, it's still okay to, to sort of like say review it and sort of, I call, you know, that, throw the pasta on the wall and see what sticks and say what you think might have happened with your best, you know, imaginary, what might have been happening, what your child might have been, been thinking or feeling and how they could have handled that differently. But I also think if it doesn't really land, then it's okay. Right. There's another opportunity, you know, you might, before you go to the grocery store, say next time, say like, oof, we had a tough time in the grocery store. How can we, you know, we're about to go in, like, what are we gonna do? Can we make a deal that we're gonna get one snack of your choice, but that's all we're gonna get this time. You know? Like I think there's always opportunities to revisit it in these micro ways that can help buttress, you know, that your child's ability to tolerate these situations.
Dr. Sarah (33:12):
Right. But even going to those sort of preventative places requires us to remember that it's really our job.
Dr. Emily (33:20):
Yes.
Dr. Sarah (33:22):
It's not our kids' job to not have the tantrum. It's our job to kind of think ahead to anticipate where they're gonna have cracks in their regulation, where they're gonna have an overwhelming feeling. That's gonna take them offline. And not, not even, not necessarily know, we might not be able to avoid it too. Like you were saying before, like sometimes you just gotta do that late, that late evening grocery run after, you know, and everyone's hungry and cranky and we gotta do it cuz we're out of everything.
Dr. Emily (33:51):
Yeah, no, I always, I mean, and I think it's really, really important to say, we're saying all of these, you know, best practices, but we don't expect you to do them every time. You know, we, I think it's really important that we, we don't do them every time, but we do try to sort of land as many times and be thoughtful and mindful as many times as we can. Or if we find ourselves in those moments, handle them with as much self-regulation on our own parts and co regulation or even just container tolerance on our side for the fallout of that.
Dr. Sarah (34:26):
Yeah. And before we go, I wanted to just make a quick point about like, okay, we're talking kind of about your typical kid here, but there's not every kid is your typical kid. Right. We've got, we have such a wide range of brain functioning and neurological wiring of our kids, you know, not everyone is quote unquote neurotypical. So let's, can we talk a bit about this idea of tantrums and really, I think more in more appropriately meltdowns in neuro divergent kiddos.
Dr. Emily (35:02):
Yeah. I mean, I think you'll see this in parents a lot because it feels like your child shouldn't be having these anymore. Right. That's when we get a lot of the psychologists, that's when we get a lot of these referrals, like my child is having these meltdowns and I just feel like they're not age appropriate anymore or...
Dr. Sarah (35:21):
And by the way, I just want to throw in really quick. So typically from a developmental standpoint, tantrums tend to come online around one and they tend to be pretty common until around five or six though. It's very common for a 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, even teenager to have them every once in a while. But if your kid is having daily tantrums past seven or eight, this is where I think parents and I, again, like so many factors go into this. It doesn't automatically mean that they have some diagnosable condition and by any means, but I think to Emily's point, like, I think that's when Emily and I start to get calls.
Dr. Emily (36:04):
Yeah. And in those, precisely, and I think where we assess on that is right. Intensity, duration and frequency, right?We really look at how much is this happening? How we intense, is it, and you know, is it interfering with their ability to do things they want to do or things they need to do? And that does warrant a little bit more peeling back, you know, the onion and seeing what's underlying it, because we do know that children with, for example, ADHD have executive functioning deficits, right? So that's exactly the areas of impulse control, frustration, tolerance, distress tolerance, and self-regulation that impact tantrums and say, you know, like sort of getting through those more efficiently or sort of coming through the other side, anxiety can look a lot like this as well, right. Anxiety. And this is where we were, I was joking with you about the pink cup and preventing and accommodating. That happens actually a lot with anxiety kids with anxiety and families where there's anxiety in the house. So I think that's really, really important sensory integration disorders thing, but even just sort of like a more neuro sensitive child might have a harder time in louder environments or, you know, and so you might see more dysregulation in that. So I think, again, it goes a little bit back to sort of figuring out what's not typical and sort of escalating maybe sort of your interventions or seeking help for those kids. But then also like in, in the same vein your child and trying to help them in ways that are very specific to them. I joke all the time that one of my, my middle child is very he's the hungriest person you ever have met. Right. And it's literally, I mean, he literally will, you know, be just a total disaster and if you can possibly get food into him within three minutes, he's like, oh, hi, how are you? What's going on? You look lovely today? How was your day? You know, it's like nothing you've ever seen before. It's sort of like those Snickers incredible Hulk commercials. So I think, you know, we have to know that sure. You know, that he's more physiologically vulnerable to hunger and maybe to tantrums because of when that's in place. But if we can sort of, sort of prophylactically do address that and, you know, give him enough food or sort of set him up for success that that always helps. So regardless of, you know, their underlying, maybe bigger things, if that's a pretty extreme thing for this one child of mine, right? Like it's not just like you get a little cranky, it's like total meltdown city. So you also wanna sort of understand what are the priorities that you have to get in place to help set them up for success.
Dr. Sarah (38:54):
Yeah. Yeah. So it's, I mean, I agree. I think it's, it's you, you know, we can, you and I, you know, in our practices we diagnose things all the time, but a lot of the treatments are the same.
Dr. Emily (39:08):
Yep.
Dr. Sarah (39:08):
It's a lot of what you're talking about just at like a larger, more in depth scale
Dr. Emily (39:14):
And to be fair. I think when you do have some of these underlying dispositions, like, or deficits, you know, in some of these more diagnosable categories, we are asking parents to be more on their game and it's a lot, right? Like we are asking parents to be, you know, you have to think every time before you go to the grocery store, right. Whereas, you know, parents of sort of neurotypical children, you know, their kid might have a tantrum, but like nine outta 10 times, they go to the grocery store and it's okay. You know, if you have a more underlying conditions or more weaknesses or predispositions to vulnerabilities, you might have to think about going to that grocery store and be more mindful about it nine outta 10 times. And so, I do wanna say, like, we are asking parents with children who have a little bit more vulnerabilities or a little bit less self-regulation capacities for whatever reason to be like on it a lot. And that's hard.
Dr. Sarah (40:08):
Right. It's almost like a parent whose child has diabetes, has to be constantly monitoring their blood sugar and it's a lot work and it's very stressful. And it's just, it's a lot more involvement in the maintenance of the, of the sort of homeostasis of your child. Yes. It's kind of the same with ADHD or an anxiety disorder or learning disability or a sensory processing disorder. If your kind of falls into one of, or an autism spectrum, you know, if your kid is in one of these categories, then as the parent it's, it's, it is hard because you kind of have to be their frontal lobes, their external regulating system, you know, well, beyond toddlerhood you just kind of have, I mean, all toddlers us to be their external regulation system. Yeah. And usually kids start to grow out of that around elementary school, late elementary school, middle school for some kids they don't. And so parents have to be that external regulator for longer and it's work and it's hard and it's exhausting, you know, you need to give yourself a tremendous amount of grace. You're not gonna be able to get it, keep it together all the time. You're gonna need more help. You're going to need more support. It's not easy.
Dr. Emily (41:29):
And I think like before we end, I wanna also say, I, you know, know we never wanna ridicule or like mock our child. I always, you know, as tempting as is to be like, oh my gosh, the green cup or the blue cup, you know, I can't. But I do think from a completely independent parent side, you know, it sometimes helps to have humor in all of this. Right, you know. It sometimes helps to debrief with a friend or, you know, your partner around, like, can you believe we spent an hour debating the color of the color, you know, I just, that was my, that was like half of my afternoon. I tried to get him to not use the purple cup, like, ah, you know, there's like a very, very cute toddler toast. Have you seen this, Sarah? I don't know if you've heard it. It's so funny. You can probably Google it, but it's all about how a parent tried to prepare toast for their toddler. And the toddler is like, no, I want more butter. And they like put more butter and they're like, no, you need to toast it again. And they like shove it back in the toast there. And they're like, no, we want sprinkles on it. And they like put sprinkles and they're like, no, no, no sprinkle sprinkles are bad. You know? Like, so it's important to sort of have a little levity outside of our parenting role, like in our own independent coping with these challenges just to sort of put into perspective for us.
Dr. Sarah (42:43):
Right? Yes. It always is helpful to like, just be able to like give your partner or even just your own little inner self, a like a side glance being like really doing this right now. Yep. We're really doing this right now. Okay. We're having a tantrum about bananas. Okay. Here we go. You know, like it's, we're not, and again, to your point, like we're not belittling our child for being upset about a banana, you know, like the second I break a child's banana and half.
Dr. Emily (43:13):
Oh my gosh. I know
Dr. Sarah (43:13):
Oh my God. I wanted the whole thing.
Dr. Emily (43:16):
The whole banana. Yeah. Obviously I didn't want it.
Dr. Sarah (43:18):
But you pealed it. I wanted... It's just like. Put it back together.
Dr. Emily (43:24):
That's exactly it.
Dr. Sarah (43:24):
The amount of times my kid has asked me to put a banana back together, I should learn, but no. But yes, it's, some of it's almost so absurd. It's comical. I'm not gonna laugh at my kid and I'm not gonna tell him he's being absurd, but in my inside I'm like, is this really happening?
Dr. Emily (43:44):
Yeah. And it's, and I think it's really important, you know, in your own grownup time to sort of like, let that gasket out a little, you know, like to give a little relief. Because as we said, like, it depends on how frequent you have to do this, or how much it's happening, but sometimes you just need it, you know, sort of to let the air out and, and to have a little bit of like a woo, this has been, this has been a ride
Dr. Sarah (44:05):
Yeah. A doozy. All right. Well, this, this has been a doozy of an episode. I think this is helpful. And it's so funny cuz like we went into this being like what it's gonna be the difference of a tantrum and a meltdown. And as you've now listened to us kind of articulate it, they're both different and similar and our approaches are both different and similar. So that's frustrating. I'm sure. But also this is the nature of young children's emotional journey. It's it is frustrating. It is a little mind bending. We are gonna be at a loss a lot of the time. And so, you know, if the only takeaway you get from this episode is learn your child, try to validate, try to co-regulate doesn't really matter if it's a tantrum or a meltdown, don't try to get into their head and try to figure out why they're doing it as much as you're just kind of saying, ah, you know what, they're out of their control right now. So let me just help them get back into their control. And I do that by helping them feel safe by helping them feel seen and not by teaching them to not manipulate me or teaching them to be more grateful or teaching them to be more polite. I think that just kind of trips us up and moves out of compassion for them and for ourselves. Cuz then we get frustrated at ourselves for losing it with them.
Dr. Emily (45:38):
Yeah. I mean, I think my, my, if, if you take one thing out of this, it's you can describe what's happening without having to change it. And that goes a long way. Right? You're having a really hard time or you and as parents, if we can just, just, if we think of those two things like keeping myself calm as the parent and just labeling what's happening for the child without judging it. I think those are our biggest takeaways from tantrums.
Dr. Sarah (46:08):
I love that. All right. We'll talk soon.
Dr. Sarah (46:15):Do you feel flooded and frazzled and frantic when your child has a tantrum? There is undoubtedly a lot of parenting content out there about tantrums, lots of scripts, lots of rules. And frankly, lots of shame. I have found that most of these methods also fail to take into account the actual brain science of a tantrum, as well as each individual child's experience and their relationship with you, their safe person. And that is exactly why I created my course, The Science of Tantrums. It's a two and a half hour video crash course in all things tantrums strategically split into six short sections. So you can break it up however is most convenient for you. Plus the course comes with a companion workbook that will help you to adapt these strategies to fit your unique child and apply them to fit into your own life. So go to drsarahbren.com/tantrums and start your journey towards feeling confident that you know exactly how to help your child get back to a place of calm connection without yelling, giving in or making it worse. That's drsarahbren.com/tantrums, or if you're scrolling through Instagram, as you listen to this, just click the link in my bio and sign up to learn more. Thanks for listening. And don't be a stranger.
There is a powerful connection between the mind and the body.
Joining me this week is clinical psychologist and dance and movement therapist, Dr Lori Baudino. We’ll discuss how physicality can be a tool for connection, ways you can shift your perception of your child’s physical movement to make it feel less personal when they are aggressive, how movement offers a unique opportunity for expression that may not be able to be communicated in words, and what a typical dance and movement therapy session looks like.
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Mindfulness can be an effective tool, allowing us to create new neural pathways in our brain that we can access in the heat of the moment, helping us stay regulated during life’s stressful, overwhelming and frustrating times.
In this episode, I am joined by the Director of Mindfulness Education at UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center, Diana Winston. We’ll cover ways that you can incorporate mindfulness into your daily life, dispel some common myths about meditation and mindfulness practices, discuss the impact this can have on anxiety, ADHD and trauma, and close with a short guided meditation led by Diana (you'll want to bookmark this episode so you can revisit this ending over and over)!
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It is important we give ourselves permission to not always get it right in parenting. But after we do have a messy moment, it’s also important we know how to reconnect to create a sense of trust and intimacy in our parent-child relationship.
I’ve invited Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana’s Kids, back on the show to continue our conversation about regulation and coregulation and to address what happens after there is a rupture. We’ll discuss exactly what rupture and repair is, how this cycle is an important piece of maintaining strong and connected relationships, the impact that generational transmission of trauma can have on our ability to properly apologize or repair, and the necessity of slowing down to give ourselves time to respond rather than simply react.
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If you are feeling stressed and burnt out with the constant pressure to always be stimulating, educating and entertaining your child, you’re not going to want to miss this episode!
Joining me this week is Lizzie Assa. Lizzie is a parenting strategist and play expert, mom of three, and the founder of The Workspace for Children. We’ll discuss the strategies she put in place with her own children based off her experience as a classroom teacher that helped her find balance, the benefits of open ended and independent play, how to make children an active participant in the household, and concrete steps you can take today to create a successful play environment and routine with your own kids.
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When our children refuse to attend school or show other anxiety related behaviors, it can be difficult for parents to find that balance between properly supporting their needs without over accommodating for their fear.
In this episode I am joined by Dr. Erica Miller, a licensed psychologist and director of Successful School Transitions. We’ll talk about the effect the pandemic and disruptions to their routine has had on children, what school refusal is and why it can be so triggering for parents, and how we can use techniques like coregulation to stretch our child’s tolerance for coping with challenging emotions and experiences.
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The dissolution of a family unit when parents separate or divorce is a difficult thing for everyone involved, parents and children alike. But, that doesn’t have to mean it will be contentious and detrimental.
In this episode I am joined by certified divorce specialist and the author of Moms Moving On, Michelle Dempsey-Multack. We’ll be busting some common misconceptions about divorce, discussing the importance of support - for your child and yourself, the destructive nature of shame and guilt and the ways single parents can make their children feel safe and secure during this massive transition.
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In our culture, we often look at the surface behaviors our children exhibit and think it is our job as parents to control those. Instead, if we can look at behaviors as clues to how our child is making sense of the world, we're able to get to the root of what is causing the behavior in the first place.
Joining me this week is child psychologist and the author of the new book, Brain-Body Parenting, Dr. Mona Delahooke. We'll talk about the ways you can begin to look past your child's behaviors, creating a roadmap for each unique child, Dr. Mona's color-coded framework to help you understand the nervous system, and how that understanding can be our secret weapon in parenting to raise resilient, self-confident and healthy children.
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I was having a conversation with my practice co-founder Dr. Emily Upshur, just as two moms, navigating the transition with our own kids of working through unmasking at school and daycare. And it felt so important to get this message out there, as you are likely dealing with this exact same thing with your own children today, that we decided to hit record right on my iPhone. This episode is a little different - it's raw, unfiltered and unedited.
There is no one size fits all approach that works best. It's about making decisions for your own unique family and child. My hope is that this episode can help you feel more comfortable having a conversation about unmasking with your own child and understand the importance of prioritizing their physical, mental and emotional health - whatever you choose.
How and what we feed our child can be a polarizing topic for many parents. But we can likely all agree that we want our children to have a healthy, balanced and open relationship to food.
Joining me on the podcast is the CEO of Square Baby and registered dietician & nutritionist, Katie Thomson. We’ll talk about ways parents can tune out societal pressures and instead tune into our own children’s cues, way for establishing balanced and realistic expectations of our kids (and ourselves), and how we can nurture a healthy relationship between our children and food, right from the start.
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Joining me today is my partner from our joint practice Upshur Bren Psychology Group, Dr. Emily Upshur. We’re diving into Diana Baumrind’s 4 parenting styles - Permissive, Authoritative, Authoritarian and Neglectful - in order to help guide one mom who wonders how she can break the cycle and raise her child differently from the authoritarian way she herself was raised.
We’ll get into the characteristics of each of these styles, the middle ground where most people truly exist, the reasons why an authoritative style is considered the gold standard in child development and strategies you can use to consciously move toward this style in your day to day parenting.
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The ripple effects of how we were raised can often be felt in adulthood as we form and show up in relationships. Joining me this week is clinical psychologist and couples therapist Dr. Marina Rosenthal. We’ll discuss the intersection between the work I do in family therapy and the work she does with partners. And we’ll offer strategies for successful communication and connection skills in your romantic relationships as well as proactive steps you can take with your children to foster secure attachment. She and I get into the impacts of making kids feel safe and seen in childhood and how this can create the building blocks for their ability to form healthy relationships as adults.
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Hearing stories about how other parents have handled similar situations can make us feel less alone and helps give us context of how other “real” parents apply the principles I talk about within their own families. So with that in mind, I wanted to invite two of my former The Authentic Parent students to come on and talk about their experiences becoming moms for the first and second time, and how they’ve handled the transitions, challenges, triumphs and joys and built their own community of support.
And if you’re interested in The Authentic Parent: Finding your confidence in your child’s first year, go to drsarahbren.com/TAP to learn more and sign up for this 6-week guided course.
In the course I’II break down the foundational basics of psychology, child development and attachment science into simple to understand and actionable insights, so you can parent from an informed and confident headspace. Doors are only open now through February 11th, so act now if you’re interested in learning to calmly and confidently respond to any problem that arises, connect authentically with your child and truly enjoy parenting!
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Whether it’s in pregnancy, birthing or parenthood, being informed and properly supported can make parents feel safe, present and less anxious.
Joining me this week is birth doula, childbirth educator and founder of C and the Moon, Carson Meyer. We discuss the role of a doula and the importance of having an advocate and grounding influence in the delivery room and the interesting parallels between how feeling empowered and supported in our birth experience can lead to confidence and calm in our transition into motherhood.
Plus we share practical mental health strategies (like finding a community, getting proper nourishment and showing yourself grace) that can be implemented into your daily life. And we dig into the core principle of several different parenting philosophies - forming a trusting relationship with your child - and why that can lift some pressure off your shoulders, help you to parent with ease (most of the time,) and allow both you and your child to relax into a comfortable rhythm.
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Pregnant women are being bombarded with a never-ending stream of opinions and advice. How can we find that middle ground, where we feel prepared and knowledgeable without surrounding ourselves with so much noise and worst-case scenarios that we become overwhelmed and fearful?
Joining me this week is board-certified OB/GYN Shieva Ghofrany. Dr. Shieva and I discuss ways to reduce anxiety during pregnancy, how to be resilient during labor (and in life) and the importance of establishing a trusting and collaborative relationship with your OB/GYN and the support systems you surround yourself with.
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Sacrificing all we have and who we are in our pursuit of being a perfect parent has become a badge of honor in our society. But this isn’t a healthy or sustainable model.
Joining me today is journalist, community-builder and Not Safe For Mom Group founder, Alexis Barad-Cutler. The pandemic exposed how many of the systems in our society are broken, especially for parents. If you’re feeling fed up, angry, and burnt out there is a way to channel that energy into something positive by asking yourself, how can I play a role in changing this? Alexis will offer some potential solutions for ways we can help ourselves on a personal and societal level.
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Have you ever noticed the way we speak to babies? Our baby-talk voices tend to be a lot more melodic than our natural speech patterns. And there’s a good reason for that! Music is more emotional.
Joining me today is a music therapist, psychotherapist and the founder of Baby In Tune, Vered. She and I discuss the power of our voice, how music can play an essential role in regulating our child’s nervous system, the importance of lullabies, and strategies for how music can defuse tense parenting moments.
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Secure attachment is not that fragile! After all, it’s biologically hardwired in our children to connect with us to ensure their greatest likelihood of survival—we have to actively work against our children’s and our own biology to mess it up.
In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur is back to help answer a listener’s concern about maintaining a secure attachment bond with her baby once she goes back to work. We’ll discuss the basics of attachment theory, dispel the myth that you need to be a martyr to be a working parent, offer tips for finding small moments of connection and attunement throughout your day and help you distinguish the difference between your child’s feelings versus the feelings you may be projecting onto them.
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As parents, we may want to shield our children from any pain or sadness they may face, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we know this is impossible. So rather than fighting the inevitable, our children are better served if we work to help them understand how to weather the storm, to equip them with tools so they’re capable of processing and working through the full range of emotions life has in store for them.
Joining me today is Kim John Payne, author of several books, including the number 1 Best Seller Simplicity Parenting. This episode is overflowing with Kim’s time-honored guidance for raising healthy children who feel confident to explore and create, as well as mindset shifts to make ourselves that can help us to be more present and allow us to truly enjoy the journey.
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It's important for women to feel powerful, capable and confident during their pregnancy, birth and postpartum journey. After all, our bodies have an innate knowledge of how to do this, we just need to tap into that wisdom.
Today I am joined by the creator of the online platform The Bloom Method, Brooke Cates. Brooke and I are busting myths and dispelling societal stigmas surrounding what it means to become a mother. We’ll talk about ways you can stay connected to who you are during this massive transition, how to let go of some control and trust in yourself and your baby, and strategies for spiritual, mental, emotional and physical healing in the 4th trimester and beyond.
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Joining me today is developmental psychologist Erin O’Connor, co-creator of Scientific Mommy and co-host of the podcast Parenting Understood. Last week Erin had me on her podcast, and we discussed all the factors that made parents particularly vulnerable to stress, anxiety and burnout during the pandemic in part one of this two part episode.
And now, in part two, we’re talking all about strategies we can implement right now, in our daily lives to reduce our stress and build support systems around ourselves and our families that enable us to find acceptance and to thrive as we begin looking toward a post-pandemic future.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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While I am a follower of RIE (resources for infant educarers) and use responsive parenting principles in the way I choose to raise my own children, that doesn’t mean I 100% follow these prescriptive practices to a tee. In this episode, I am opening up and revealing 5 so called “parenting rules” that I break as a mom.
Understanding the framework behind your own rules can help you identify and feel comfortable breaking some of them from time to time. It can be incredibly liberating to give yourself permission to be flexible in your parenting and prioritize your relationships, attunement and connection over always getting it “right."
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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Dr. Emily Upshur joins me again this week to help a mom whose son is getting frustrated and calling himself “stupid” and “bad.” If you've been there, you may have felt yourself start to panic when you hear your son or daughter say similar words.
We’ll offer you tools to help you regulate your own nervous system in these stressful moments, allowing you to stay calm (or at least calmer) so you can more effectively help your child navigate their big emotions. Next, we review different approaches based on a child’s age and how frequently this behavior occurs, and discuss ways that parents can use scaffolding and a growth mindset to build your child’s resilience and distress tolerance.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
In this episode, therapist Robyn Gobbel joins me to discuss the lessons we've garnered from our knowledge of treating trauma, the principles of attachment theory and our understanding of how the human brain and body functions to allow you to unlock an effective, yet underutilized parenting strategy. We'll discuss the advantages of addressing the root cause of your child's behavior, rather than focusing on the behavior itself.
This process starts with you - understanding yourself, your triggers and doing the work to re-parent your inner child. We’ll offer strategies for getting started and tools you can use - at any stage of your journey - to help you intentionally rewire your own brain and nervous system and help you bring yourself back to center.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
It takes a village, but what happens when it’s suddenly unsafe to be a part of that supportive village? Parents learned the hard way when COVID-19 hit and we were forced into isolation. Now, as we begin to see the other side of this tunnel, we’re allowed a unique opportunity to build back, ideally better than before.
Joining me today is Digital Content Director for Parents, Julia Dennison. Julia and I discuss the struggles we personally faced parenting during the pandemic, ways we can all adjust now that hybrid work situations are becoming our new normal and the importance of allocating time for guilt-free self-care into your routine. You’ll hopefully find this to be an empowering conversation and a show of solidarity that every parent, no matter who they are, is struggling to juggle it all.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
If you have a toddler you’re likely no stranger to tantrums, aggressive behaviors or limit testing. Joining me on the podcast is clinical psychologist and founder of Parenting Translator, Cara Goodwin.
Today’s episode is all about helping you understand what is happening in your child’s brain and body when they become upset, so we can work with their nervous system to help them learn to regulate their big emotions.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
As parents, we often strive to encourage a strong foundational relationship between our child and music. Whether placing headphones on your pregnant belly, attending music class with your toddler, or getting Baby Shark stuck in your head after playing it on repeat - we want to encourage their love of music, while also allowing it to be child lead.
Joining me today is musician and father of 3, Mark Joseph. Mark and I will discuss the ways we can authentically create opportunities for music in our homes and how to allow our child’s intrinsic motivations to drive the relationship. Mark also shares his own personal experience of finding resilience, self-actualization, and never losing his love of music.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Parents often worry, will my child attach to me? And the answer is almost always - yes! Attachment is less about whether or not a child will form a bond with their primary caregiver, and is more focused on the quality of that relationship and how secure it is.
Today, I am joined by the author of Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment, Bethany Saltman. Bethany will break down what attachment is and more importantly what it isn’t, discuss the importance of cultivating delight, breaking cycles and offer suggestions for allowing attachment theory to help inform the choices parents make in raising their children.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Parents are redefining what it means to be a working mom or dad and embracing what today’s guest, Neha Ruch, calls the grey area. As the founder of Mother Untitled she has a unique pulse on the mindset and challenges that modern mothers are facing when deciding to hit pause on career to focus on family life.
In this episode we’ll discuss tuning into your own needs to determine what works best for right now and recognizing there will be time to readjust as you and your family grow and evolve. We’ll offer advice for navigating identify shifts, redefining self-care, and learning to feel confident fielding the all-too-common and all-too-intrusive question, what do you do all day?
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Masks can cause a great deal of stress for parents - it’s one more thing to remember before getting out the door in the morning, can be a source of power struggles, and perhaps the most daunting, the fear that months spent without seeing full faces will impede their child’s development.
Today I am joined by speech-language pathologist and founder of Let’s Gab Speech, Becky Birkenfeld. Becky will answer all our burning questions about mask wearing and suggest some actionable and simple strategies parents can start implementing to encourage social, emotional and language development with their child.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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Sibling dynamics can be complicated! And the way we parent the interactions between brothers and sisters often looks different than how we would handle the same situations in a playdate, daycare or school setting. In today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and we’ll help one mom who asks for advice on how to understand and respond to her kids when they're fighting.
We’ll offer mindset and behavioral shifts you yourself can make, break down the psychology of sharing, and help you set appropriate developmental expectations of your children. Plus, we'll help you reframe the situation to turn these tough moments into opportunities to help your children hone their empathy skills.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Parents often feel they need to be perfectly aligned with their partner in their parenting approach. While it is true that sharing the same overall values and standards do help, allowing your partner to parent in a way that feels most authentic to them can actually make for a healthy and diverse experience for children. And both relationships, while different, can still create secure attachment bonds.
Today I am welcoming my husband Danny to the podcast. We’ll share the lessons we learned ourselves, so you don’t repeat our mistakes. And also offer you tools we used that helped us to get on the same parenting page.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
If you’ve ever asked, “is it bad my baby naps less than my friends’ kids?” “is it too late to break the poor sleep habits I created?” or the all too common “am I doing this right?,” this sleep episode is for you! Along with my guest, infant and child sleep consultant and owner of Lolo Lullaby, Lauren Wolf, we’ll be busting parents’ biggest sleep myths.
Whether it’s navigating power struggles, setting proper developmental expectations, making mindset shifts, or learning to find what works best for you and your unique child and family - by the end of this episode you’ll walk away with some concrete strategies you can implement to help sleep time turn from stressful to restful.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
You don’t need to be Ferris Bueller to realize that time moves pretty fast these days. And for parents, that can lead to feelings of stress, exhaustion and burnout.
In this episode, I’ll walk you through 5 actionable steps you can start taking today to get more time back into your days and weeks. And then, once you’ve found these extra minutes or even hours, I’ll help you take stock of what matters most. So you can be intentionally spending this newfound freedom on things that fill up your tank and allow you to show up as the best version of yourself - for you and for your entire family.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
The postpartum period presents new parents with a massive identity shift and an overwhelming flood of sudden changes. It’s important we talk about this and acknowledge that having a newborn is hard. While about 20% of mothers experience a PMAD, there is also a lesser talked about, yet still common situation that can occur.
1 in 10 new fathers or non-birthing partners experience some form of perinatal mood and anxiety disorder within the first year after the birth of their child. In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I will dispel the myth that PMADs only affect mothers, the importance of preparing for this possibility ahead of time, and what you can do to support you partner (mom or dad) if you think they need help.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Millennial moms and dads have a lot of their plates. As the first generation to become parents in this advanced digital age, we’re especially hard-hit by the mom-guilt, constant comparisons, and access to an overwhelming (and unvetted) amount of information. Many of us were raised with punishments, sticker charts, and external rewards systems - so it’s no wonder we now find ourselves looking outward for validation.
In this episode, Marcella Kelson and I discuss ways millennial parents can turn inward, ways to build our confidence as parents, how to break cycles of generational trauma, and strategies for communicating our values to others (especially the baby boomers) in our lives.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders effect about 20% of women. It’s important we prepare parents-to-be for the possibility that they may experience this, and the symptoms to look out for. In this episode, I’ll be discussing the different forms of PMADs - postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum bipolar disorder and postpartum psychosis, and a few others. I’ll also share who is most at risk for developing these during and after pregnancy and what you can do if you or someone you love is experiencing any of these symptoms.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
In this episode I am joined by professional chef and father to biological, adopted and foster children, Chef Kibby. You’ll hear how he uses the kitchen to help his children learn to trust and work through their trauma. And we'll walk you through what goes on in your child's brain when they engage in these activities.
All parents can use the 3 step process we’ll discuss to help you connect with your own children, regardless of whether they’ve experienced trauma or are just looking for a fun way to connect with you. Getting your kids cooking and sharing meals together provides you with a wonderful opportunity to strengthen and deepen your parent-child relationship.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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Warning: This episode includes discussions on childhood sexual assault and may be triggering for some listeners.
It falls on us as parents to push through our own discomfort to engage in conversations that allow us to learn and understand the best ways to protect our children and keep them safe. In this episode, I am joined by Feather Berkower to discuss ways you can arm yourself and your children with tools to prevent sexual abuse. We’ll talk about preventative measures, the conversations we should be having with the caregivers in our children’s lives, the language we should use when teaching body safety to our children and fostering their sense of body autonomy, some signs to look out for and resources where you can go to seek help.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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When parents have a picky eater on their hands it’s easy for them to unwittingly enter into a dance with their child that can lead to them becoming more and more resistant to foods as parents grow more and more frustrated during mealtimes. If you’ve been stuck in this dynamic with your own child, don’t worry, there is a way out of this vicious cycle.
In this episode, I’m joined by Rebecca Taskin, a trained feeding therapist and licensed speech and language pathologist. We’ll discuss techniques you can use to start gently stretching your child out of their food comfort zone and mindset shifts for you to make that will allow you to remove some of that pressure during mealtimes. We’ll also talk about the signs to look out for if you think your child might have a more serious feeding issue and when to seek clinical help if you’re worried their food struggles may be more than picky eating and could be a feeding disorder.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Favoring one parent over the other is a very common and developmentally normal phase for children. In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I help a mom who is struggling with this issue. We discuss identifying which battles to pick, techniques she can use to help her child grow comfortable with Dad doing more, and how to handle this often highly emotional situation while being sensitive to the feelings of all the parties involved - Mom, Dad and child.
If you're managing similar struggles in with your child, this episode is sure to help! Once you’ve come up with a plan and put these actionable steps into practice you’ll slowly see your child’s inflexibilities begin to shift as he becomes more comfortable and trusts in the new normal.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
When it comes to helping our children with sleeping, the goal is to make them feel confident and capable of independently falling asleep and then falling back asleep if they wake up in the middle of the night. Sounds simple enough, but how do we as parents help our children build that skillset? In this episode, my guest Eileen Henry and I will review many of these factors. We’ll discuss regulation techniques, how to create an ideal sleep environment - both physically and emotionally - and how to identify when your child is suffering and needs you to step in versus when they are struggling and you can help guide them without fixing the problem for them.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
What do I do when my partner and I are not on the same page with our parenting values, how do we raise our kids, how can we address behavioral issues?
In this episode, I’ll be tackling all those questions and helping you and your partner work as a team to create a united front. I’ll cover when and how to have conversations together (sneak peak: it’s the same advice I give parents about when to communicate with their child too). How to determine and define the values that are important to you, both individually and as a team. And how to create a family game plan, so everyone is one the same page on how these values will be carried out. This will be constantly evolving as your children grow, so it’s important to schedule regular check ins to discuss what’s working and what’s not working in a way that makes you both feel seen, heard and valued.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Young children often need our help to get their bodies and minds back into a regulated state after they’ve lost their cool. One of the most effective tools parents can use to do this is to coregulate with their child. Start by making sure you’re regulated yourself, then become a solid and grounding presence, and continue holding firm to the limits you’ve set. In this episode, I am joined by Dana Rosenbloom of Dana’s Kids and together she and I cover exactly how parents can follow this process to help their child transition back into a calm and regulated frame of mind. Eventually, the goal is for your child to be able to internalize the skills you’ve taught them through coregulating with them and, after a bit of practice and patience, they will begin to have the ability to soothe themselves independently.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
I’m joined by Deborah Carlisle Solomon and together we'll discuss 3 easy to implement and actionable steps parents can start taking today to strengthen trust and cooperation in their parent-child relationships - and the best part is that you can add them right into the routines you’ve already established!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily respond to a mom who is asking for help figuring out what to do when her child says “I hate you!” or uses hurtful language.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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Jennie Monness, creator of @momommies and co-founder of Union Square Play and I discuss what exactly the function of play is (spoiler alert - it’s more than you might imagine), why play is so important for healthy development, and how to create a safe and enriching environment for your child.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
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In my deep dive on the topic of attachment theory I’ll review the nuts and bolts of exactly what it is and why secure attachment bonds are so essential to the formation of personality and predictive of all kinds of positive mental health outcomes.
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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In this episode I’ll tell you a bit more about myself and my journey to create this podcast. I’ll talk about how and why I pivoted my clinical work from adults with trauma histories to parenting. And I’ll share my passion for helping parents understand the building blocks of child development and how to harness the power of the parent-child relationship so they can calmly and confidently respond to any problem that arises, feel more in sync with their child, and truly enjoy parenting!
I want to hear from you! Send me a topic you want me to cover or a question you want answered on the show!
✨ DM me on Instagram at @securelyattachedpodcast or @drsarahbren
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✨ And check out drsarahbren.com for more parenting resources
Parenthood is a messy, chaotic, wild ride - and guess what, that’s okay! I’m Dr. Sarah Bren, a clinical psychologist and mom of two. I’ve built a career dedicated to helping families find deep connections, build healthy relationships, repair attachment wounds, kick the guilt, and raise kids who are healthy, secure, resilient, and kind. In this podcast, I’ve taken all of my clinical experience, current research on brain science and child psychology, and the insights I’ve gained on my own parenting journey, and distilled everything down into easy to understand and actionable parenting insights. Consider this your one stop shop for psychologically informed, research based information about parenting, child development, and the fundamentals of fostering secure attachment relationships with our kids. My goal is to help you to understand the building blocks of children’s social, emotional, and cognitive development so you can tune out the noise, stop googling, and tune into your own authentic parenting voice with the confidence to respond to any situation parenting throws at you. So go ahead and reheat that coffee for the 3rd time today, take a few deep breaths, hit subscribe, and join me every Tuesday here on Securely Attached.