Permission for Pleasure: Recent Episodes
Cindy Scharkey
A podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 30+ years of experience as a healthcare professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure. Visit www.cindyscharkey.com for education blogs and newsletter.
Women’s pain is often dismissed, especially pelvic pain and painful periods. Mallory Stuparich MD joins me to talk about endometriosis and how to advocate for yourself. We discuss symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment options for women suffering from what’s often referred to as the “invisible disease.”
Find @MalloryStuparichMD on socials
Mentioned in this episode:Tips from my pelvic floor therapistStretched out vaginas and other myths
Pelvic health and pelvic pain
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Pairing clitoral stimulation with penetrative sex is often the route for more pleasure and orgasms for women. In this episode, learn about a technique called Coital Alignment. This is a variation on the missionary position that incorporates pairing and rocking techniques.
Mentioned in this episode:Pleasure techniques on the blogPleasure techniques episodeWhat you need to know about the clitorisCliteracyBecoming Cliterate book review
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Pleasure is good for you! Researcher Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons joins me to discuss the data on the wellness benefits of masturbation. Learn some suprising upsides for your sleep, confidence and stress level with the results of this study on self-pleasure and vibrator use.
Learn more about Dr. Candice
Mentioned in this episode:
Dr. Candice in Season FiveMasturbation with August McLaughlinResearcher Debby Herbenick on the podcast: Rise in rough sexWhy vibrators work for women and how to choose oneCommunity questions: Vibrators, Edging and Anal SexNatural health benefits of orgasmsThe pleasure crisis and why good sex matters
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It’s time to unlock your erotic potential with somatic psychotherapist and sex therapist Carly Mountain. She joins me to talk about her newest book, Untamed Pleasure: Unleash Your True Erotic Nature. Learn about embodied pleasure, why women need relaxed arousal, and how the cervix can be a powerful portal of orgasmic potential.
Learn more about Carly Mountain In this episode:Embodiment and pleasureJust how much does frequency matterKeeping it hot in long term relationshipUntangling sexual shameWomen’s Anatomy of Arousal book reviewTips for multiple orgasms
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Vanilla sex is loved by many, but for some it can get a little mundane. Have you ever wanted to add a touch of variety? Nothing too crazy or complicated but something to spark curiosity? In this episode I share four easy ideas to add a cherry on top of vanilla sex.
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Mentioned in this episode:Ten tips to a better bedroom on the blogSexify your space episodeGuide to lubeUsing your senses for pleasureForeplay 101Turn up the volume on your sex lifePositions with propsKink curiousFive questions for couples
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Women often feel burnout from taking care of everyone around them before caring for themselves. The term self-care is trending, but how can we go about doing it? Therapist Jen Hershey joins me to share her perspective, including ideas around alignment and learning to listen to your inner authority. This conversation is an invitation to move through life with more trust, clarity and intention.
Learn more about Jen Hershey, LMFT
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Dial up the heat of arousal using your fingers! Listen in to learn some new techniques including various kinds of pressure, rhythms and motions. Discover broadening, hinting, and different styles of finger touch for increased pleasure.
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More on these topicsThe clitoris is a whole networkThe clitoral hoodThe G-spot24 conversation starters to help you talk about sex with a partner
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Have you ever been having sex and suddenly your arousal just disappears? From this episode you’ll gain a deeper understanding of how arousal and desire really work, as well as factors that influence it. You’ll also learn three things research shows that long-term couples can do to experience sexual satisfaction as desire changes over time.
Mentioned in this episode:
Sex on the brainUnderstanding sexual desire stylesPartner sexual desire discrepanciesHow curiosity fuels desireReclaim your arousal mindsetCommunity questions: arousal, role play and condoms3 tips for speeding up arousal
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Vibrators and sex toys don’t have to be scary or overwhelming. And they certainly aren’t bad or taboo. In this episode I walk through why vibrators work for women and how to choose one. I also offer a few communication tips for introducing a toy with a partner.
Mentioned in the episode:Clitoral Network blogPleasure techniques with penetrationMaude use code CINDY10The Clitoris has a hoodMegan’s episode about introducing a vibratorVibrator episode with Dr. Shannon ChavezVibrators on the blogWhen a partner wants to try something newIntimate Wellbeing use CINDY15Dame
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Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA joins me to talk about their book co-authored with Stephanie Covington called: Awaken Your Sexuality: A Guide to Connection and Intimacy after Addiction and Trauma. We discuss the prevalence and normalization of substances as a pathway to sexual behavior, and how sexual responses can be filtered and affected through this lens. Vanessa also shares how shame can keep us from using our personal power to find intimacy and a satisfying sex life.
Learn more about Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA
More on this topic:Slow Pleasure with Euphemia RussellSexual shame with Mathias RobertsUsing your senses for pleasurePleasure after traumaSupporting Survivors
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Did you know it’s possible to have more than one orgasm in a single sexual session? In this episode we discuss how women can experience multiple orgasms including techniques to explore for wave after wave of pleasure.
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube with code CINDY
Mentioned in this episode:
The clitoral networkWhat is edging?A woman's arousal takes more than 5 minutesDifferent kinds of orgamsLevel up your pleasure with these 20 orgasmsThe clitoral hoodVibrators for womenPleasure techniques with penetrationSex and your brainCan men be multi-orgasmic?
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Have you ever been curious about kink? If so, this is the perfect conversation for you! Certified Sex and Relationships Psychotherapist, Sex Educator, and Author Gigi Engle joins me to offer a guide to exploring kink and erotic sensation. We discuss popular kinks, power dynamics, impact play and more. Expand your sexual menu with ideas and suggestions to amplify your senses through kinky play.
Find Gigi Engle and Kink Curious Mentioned in this episode:Temperature playToys, fantasy and play in the bedroomUntangling sexual shameDesire discrepanciesWhen one partner's vanilla and the other is 31 flavorsVanilla with a cherry on topWhen a partner wants to try something new
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Listen in for the five questions to answer with a partner for greater pleasure and discovery. Sexual communication is your key to unlocking boredom, assumptions and resentment in the bedroom. Lean into your curiosity with these questions and discover more intimacy and vibrancy in your sex life.
Find the podcast page with all the links
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Want to re-eroticize your long-term relationship and keep the fires burning for the long-haul? Somatic Psychologist, and Sex Therapist Dr. Holly Richmond joins us with expert advice for couples. She gets practical with flirting techniques, understanding your sexual template, and the four things healthy couples do to have a thriving relationship in and out of the bedroom.
Dr. Holly Richmond is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist, and holds a PhD in Somatic Psychology, and is the associate director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.
More on these topics:Pleasure after trauma episode with HollyReclaiming Pleasure Book ReviewPartner desire discrepanciesDesire stylesHow much does frequency matter?Erotic personasErectile dissatisfaction vs Erectile dysfunctionAffection and the 6 second kiss
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Take a peek into the role of Intimacy Coordinator for Heated Rivalry, the TV show everyone’s talking about. Chala Hunter shares what an intimacy coordinator’s job is, and how she worked to create comfort and safety on set for the simulated sex scenes, nudity and all things intimacy. We discuss the cast and crew vibe while filming the show, and the intentionality around modeling safe, consensual and pleasurable sex. Learn why Director Jacob Tierney calls Chala, “The hero of this show!”
Learn more about Chala Hunter
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This season we are going to lean into deeper curiosity about our bodies, sex and pleasure. Through education and conversations with experts, we’ll increase our knowledge, and challenge ourselves to ask the burning questions. Let’s cultivate curiosity, give ourselves permission, and embrace more pleasure in and out of the bedroom. Welcome to Season Six!
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Did you know that bone building starts to decline at age 30? That means for many of us, especially women in midlife, osteoporosis is a real concern. Registered Dietician, and Integrative & Functional Nutritionist Susan McCandless joins me to share what breaks down your bone health and what builds it up. She offers practical suggestions and guidelines to help you adjust your diet for strong, dense and flexible bones. You’ll come away feeling empowered to make bone health a priority for a confident and active life.
Susan McCandless is a Functional Dietitian Nutritionist, and holds advanced certifications in digestive health, immunology, genetics, food sensitivities and intuitive eating. Board Certified in Integrativce and Functional Nutrition, Susan understands how body systems work together. She focuses on improving client function and performance by treating the root cause of nutrition imbalances.
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Dr. Jessica Vernon and I continue our conversation about transitioning to parenthood. In this episode we focus on postpartum sex, the challenges women face with their changing bodies, and creating intimacy with a partner. We also call out the common myths of motherhood that in reality are unattainable: the martyr, the goddess, the superwoman and the homemaker.
Jessica Vernon, MD is an obstetrician, perinatal mental health expert, and author of “Then Comes Baby: An Honest Conversation about Birth, Postpartum, and the Complex Transition to Parenthood”
Mentioned in this episode:Sex After BabySexy in Survival ModePostpartum Support InternationalSex and PregnancySex and Postpartum and BreastfeedingYour Body after BabyGuide to lubePelvic Floor Physical Therapy with Heather Jeffcoat, DPTDoes a vaginal delivery ruin my vagina?Tips from my pelvic floor PT
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Did you know that 45% of women report birth trauma? The ripple effects of that are often never talked about. Obstetrician, and perinatal mental health expert Dr. Jessica Vernon joins me for a straightforward conversation about her book, Then Comes Baby: An Honest Conversation about Birth, Postpartum, and the Complex Transition to Parenthood. We discuss sleep deprivation, baby blues, and how to recognize postpartum depression and anxiety.
Learn more about Jessica Vernon MD
More on this topic:Sex and PregnancySex and Postpartum and BreastfeedingYour body after babySex After BabySexy in survival modePostpartum Support International
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Have you ever been curious to explore new ways to communicate through touch? Anne-Lorraine Selke, the creator of Touchcards, shares why she created a card deck that offers people ways to “rediscover the richness of touch with the people you love.” She gives us examples from intimate cards to playful ones, as we offer ways to bring more connection into your relationships through touch.
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Mentioned in this episode:
Touch pleasure practiceTouch lexicon: What are you saying with your touchHillary McBride on embodimentBedroom Games
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Engage in flirty conversation to add some playful energy to your relationship. These “Would you rather” game questions offer you an easy way to play together and can spark meaningful discussion if something takes you by surprise! Use this episode on your next date night, long car ride or walk around the block.
Mentioned in this episode:
Bedroom GamesPermission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden on GoodReadsToys, Fantasy and Play in the Bedroom24 Communication Starters and QuestionsWhen a Partner Wants to Try Something New
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We talk a lot about the repercussions of purity culture for women, but what about men? This topic is often silenced, creating what sexuality educator Erica Smith calls a “fertile ground for shame.” She joins me to break the taboo, sharing the after effects men frequently encounter.
Erica Smith is an award winning sexuality educator and consultant with 25 years of experience. She developed the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program to help people learn all of the sex education that they missed growing up in purity culture- sex ed that is accurate, queer inclusive, trauma informed, compassionate, and comprehensive.
More on this topic:Evolving out of purity cultureReclaim your arousal mindsetUntangling sexual shameMasturbation - let’s dig inMasculinity narratives with Cam FraserMy letter to young womenMisconceptions men believe about sexEmbodiment and pleasure with Hillary McBride PhD
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Is orgasm a learnable skill? My guest Dr. Erica Marchand outlines the necessary components women need to orgasm in this top 10 episode from Season One. We discuss faking O’s, ranking O’s, and the mind-body shift of allowing rather than making orgasm happen.
Erica Marchand, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist offering individual, couples and sex therapy in Los Angeles. Learn more about these topicsAnswering your questions about orgasmFaking orgasmThe clitoris - it's a networkStimulation of the clitoral hoodPleasure techniques with penetration
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One of the most shared episodes on the podcast, this conversation about pleasure and embodiment offers a framework for understanding a healthier way to be in your body. Hillary McBride, PhD provides tools to help us untangle the cultural scripts we have taken in, along with gentle guidance for how we can reframe sensuality and learn to listen to our bodies.
Hillary McBride, PhD., is a therapist, researcher, speaker and author
More on these topics:
Mother's, Daughter's and Body Image, read my book review
Dating your body with AuroraReconnecting to yourself and to your bodySlow Pleasure with Euphemia RussellConnecting with our bodies and nervous systemsHealing journey with Ruthie LindsayComing home to yourself with Arielle Estoria
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From logistics on positioning, to setting the stage before you step in - in this episode I talk you through the basics on how to add shower sex to your intimacy repertoire. Showering together has never been more fun, safe and intimate.
Mentioned in this episode:Pleasure PracticeUberlube use code CINDYShower sex for beginners on the blog
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Catriona Boffard, a Clinical Sexologist, Psychotherapist, Sexuality Researcher, Podcaster and Author joins me to share her personal experience, and clinical expertise in a discussion about women and ADHD - how it can affect your brain, sex, and life. You’ll hear all about orgasms, medications, sexual cues and solutions to common communication challenges.
Catriona Boffard is an expert in the field of sexual behavior, well-being, and mental health, and is particularly passionate about working with people who face difficulties in their sexual experience. She hosts the podcast Asking for a Friend and is an internationally recognized authority in the field of sexuality and relationships.
Mentioned in this episodeAnxiety, Perfectionism and SexMindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto on the podcastBetter Sex Through Mindfulness book reviewADHD and Tips for Sex
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Continuing our conversation for the over 50 crowd with helpful tips including transition time, positions, pillows, vibrators and more. Listen in as we get creative with shifts in desire, and tools to accommodate our changing bodies. Learn ways to make sex more interesting.
More on these topicsDesire stylesEmbracing your desireHow curiosity fuels desireVaginal estrogen, vaginal moisturizers, and lube for sexErectile dissatisfaction vs. Erectile dysfunctionSexual adaptations and aids for all bodiesPain and SexArya intimacy concierge and scene guidance use code CS15When a partner wants to try something newPositions with propsTabu Prim PillowWhy vibrators work for women and how to choose oneIntimate Wellbeing use code CINDY15Bedroom GamesCoconu card game use code 30PLEASURENaked At Our Age book review
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Menopause doesn’t mean your sex life is over. In fact, you may find yourself having the best sex of your life! Join me for a chat specifically for the over 50 crowd. Let’s talk about desire, arousal, and changing things up as we change. Your pleasure matters!
Visit our episode sponsorUberlube, use CINDY for 15% off
Mentioned in this episode:
Guide to lubePerimenopause: Hormones and SymptomsPermimenopause: Treatment OptionsEverything we get wrong about initiationTwo ways affection can deepen your connectionMidlife and Menopause with Heather Sexual reset for midlife women
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Community guest Kaleigh Osadick joins me to share ideas to remove shame around self-expression. We chat about challenging the norms, and reframing what defines sexy. Learn to role play with her scene creation tips, and gain the confidence to be the main character in your sex life!
Kaleigh Osadick is an educator, coach and producer with over a decade of experience teaching acting, voice, and embodiment. With a background in theatre, and psychology-through play and voice, she's helped many clients-from students, adults with special needs, and aspiring performers find their voice and power both on camera and in life.
Mentioned in this episode:Turn up the volume on your sex lifeArousal and Role PlayConfidence is sexy with DanaBedroom gamesToys, fantasy and play in the bedroom
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Self-touching or masturbation is one healthy way to be sexual, but certainly not the only way. From investigating your sexual ethics to creating your own sensual playlist, movement, and more - these ideas will help you explore being a sexual person outside of masturbation.
Mentioned in this episode:
10 Ideas - no masturbation requiredMy letter to young womenQuestions to ask yourself with Cyndi Darnell Sensuality on the blogUsing your senses for pleasureSexy playlistReconnecting to yourself and to your bodyMindfulness with Dr. Lori BrottoYour body, mind and nervous system with Aurora
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Throughout life, we all face changes in our body that impact how we experience pleasure with sex. Laura Glazebrook PT, DPT, specializes in neurological injuries and all manner of pelvic health concerns. She joins me to talk about adaptations, tools, toys, and positional aids - for all bodies. Whether you’re post surgery, post injury, or navigating change, this conversation is full of practical tips, products, and resources for all of life’s seasons.
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlubeand use code CINDY for 15% off
Laura Glazebrook, PT, DPT spent ten years specializing in neurological injuries at world-renowned Shepherd Center in Atlanta, and has specialized training to evaluate and treat a variety of pelvic health concerns for all genders and ages.
More on this topic:Pelvic health and painful sex with Heather JeffcoatStretched out vaginas and other myths with PT Heather JeffcoatTips from my physical therapist Anna from Mad Hatter Wellness: Sex Ed for all abilitiesTips for talking to a provider about sexual healthGuide to lubeErectile dissatisfaction vs Erectile dysfunctionMedications and sexual healthSSRi’s and your sex lifeThe HandyIntimate RiderBumpin JoystickSexuality after SCISexuality and DisabilityNew Mobility: Quest for accessible sex toysOhnut rings
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Oral sex is a highly reliable path to pleasure and orgasm for women. This episode is the second most downloaded of all episodes on the show. So, I am bringing it back for new listener's and their partner's. I talk about creating anticipation, building arousal toward crescendo and specific tongue techniques to stimulate the clitoris and vulva. Also hear tips on positioning, when to add variety, and when to stick with consistency. Learn the signs of approaching orgasm, to help your partner go over the edge with pleasure.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Kivin Method -Oral SidewaysMake Some NoiseTemperature PlayThe Key to Women’s PleasureThe Clitoris - it’s a network!The Clitoris has a hoodFemale Anatomy 101She Comes First Book ReviewUsing Your Senses for PleasureWhy Arousal Takes More Than 5 MinutesMen and SexTalking about sex with a partnerCommunication, Couples and Sex
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Want to slow down and experience more pleasure in your life? Euphemia Russell, a somatic coach and author of Slow Pleasure shares practical ways to focus on sensations, as well as practices to shift your state towards enlivening. Learn to create pleasure habits and increase your capacity for pleasure in and out of the bedroom.
Euphemia Russell is a somatic coach and bestselling author ofSlow Pleasure. They are trained in somatic coaching, International Coaching Federation, sex-positive education, sexual violence counselling, trauma-informed facilitation, and has a background in Community Cultural Development.
Mentioned in this episode:Sexual Wellness and Pleasure List with MichalThe Pleasure Crisis with Nan WiseLearning to Listen to Your Body with Hillary McBrideConnecting With Our Body and Nervous System with Aurora Allen
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Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, a leading expert in sex research, shares her list of ingredients for good sex from her book Good Sex: Stories, Science and Strategies for Sexual Liberation. She walks us through strategies to study our sexual satisfaction as well as tools to increase it. Does frequency make the list? Nope? Tune in to learn what does.
Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is an award-winning associate professor at Emory University’s Rollins School of Public Health and author of Good Sex. As a thought leader, Dr. Hargons continues to shape the conversation around sexual wellness, advocating for liberation and wellness within marginalized communities.
Mentioned in this episode:How Curiosity Fuels Desire with Emily JameaThe Rise in Rough Sex with Debby HerbenickWhat’s Ruining Sex for Men with Cam Fraser
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I’m bringing back conversations with members of our community where they share their stories and we explore what they have learned about their bodies, sex and pleasure. My new friend and poet, Sarah Jeannine Gawthrop, joins me to talk about her journey of pleasure reclamation through the sacred forest and poetry.
Sarah Gawthrop is a queer, neurodiverse poet and editor on the West Coast of Canada. Her writing explores themes of place, identity, and longing, with a focus on how nature shapes our sense of self. When she's not walking in the forest, she's studying Creative Writing or working with PULPmag and ROOM Magazine. Her first poetry collection, Topophilia: A Strong Sense of Place, celebrates our deep connections with people and places. Connect with her on Instagram @sarahjeanninewrites
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Answering your community questions: “Do I have to swallow?” “Can I get pregnant from pre-cum?” and “Are wet dreams normal?” I’ll also explain the difference between semen and sperm, why a cum cloth is a good idea and the pregnancy rate with the pull-out method.
Mentioned in this episode:
Can I get pregnant from pre-cum?Can men be multi-orgasmic?Do women ejaculate? What is squirting?Cum cloth: Play Towel by Coconu use code 30PLEASURE
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Susan Bratton calls herself the “Orgasmanaut.” She’s here to share what she has learned, along with some juicy and practical ways for you to experience more orgasms. As her mentor taught her; with sex - there is always something more! Listen to hear the ingredient list and recipe to follow for more!
Visit our episode sponsorUBERLUBEand use discount code CINDY
Susan Bratton, "Intimacy Expert to Millions" is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. She’s created hundreds of techniques that transform “having sex” into making love and is the world’s most well-respected sexual biohacker.
More on this topic:Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenCliteracy and the Orgasm GapEverything You Need to Know About the ClitorisThe Clitoris has a HoodLet’s Talk OrgasmsPleasure TechniquesFemale ArousalDesire StylesWhy Vibrators Work for Women and How to Choose OneMaude Vibe use code CINDY10Toys, Fantasy, and Play in the BedroomCan Men Be Multi-orgasmic
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If you want to enhance the intimacy and eroticsm in your relationship - this conversation is for you! Nicolas Velotta, lead relationship researcher for Arya - a couples sexual wellness company, talks about erotic styles and four specific erotic personas. This episode will help you to open a conversation about your turn-on's, desires and preferences with a partner.
Learn more about Arya and use discount code CS15
Nicholas Velotta is a relationship scientist and sexologist exploring how technology shapes our most intimate connections. As the Head of Relationship Research at Arya—the world’s leading relationship wellness app—he uses cutting-edge methods to develop psychological profiles of our erotic and emotional selves. Blending research with innovation, Nicholas designs AI-powered algorithms that curate personalized experiences aimed at deepening relationship and sexual satisfaction.
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When I saw Michal Morrison's Sexual Wellness and Pleasure list on Threads, I thought, "Who is this woman and how did she come up with this amazing list?!" Learn about toys, tools, good reads and more to empower you on your wellness and pleasure journey.
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off
Michal Morrison is an Austin-based entrepreneur and the founder of her eponymous brand, Michal Morrison—a cutting-edge skincare company rooted in science and powered by groundbreaking stem cell technology. With a passion for science-based innovation, Michal has worked in health-focused startups and femtech companies, championing wellbeing in both the health and beauty spaces. Beyond her entrepreneurial pursuits, Michal is committed to social impact, championing causes around women's health, gender equality, and mental health.
Mentioned in this episode:Tabu Prim PillowPositions with propsOhnut use discount code CINDYForia meltsUberlube use discount code CINDYCome As You Are book reviewShe Comes First book reviewPermission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual GardenSpicy Audio StoriesLionessSex and PainWhat Pelvic Health has to do with painful sexStretched out vaginas and other myths with Heather Jeffcoat DPTTips from my pelvic floor therapistPleasure techniques with penetrationGuide to lubeOMGYESRosy AppLeloDame EvaAll bodiesLorals
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Just in time for love month, I'm sharing some gift ideas for lovers, friends and something for yourself. I introduce you to Arya, a sexual wellness subscription for couples, focused on reigniting your passion and bolstering communication. You'll also hear ways to explore your sexuality and how to be a permission giver to your friends. This Valentine's Day, let's prioritize pleasure.
Mentioned in this episode:
ARYA use discount code CS15Temperature PlayWays to explore your sexuality other than masturbation
Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
My Letter to Young WomenWant Better Sex? Ask the QuestionsSensuality: Pleasure with Your SensesBodies, Nervous System and Mindfulness with AuroraMindfulnessm, Desire and Sex with Dr. Lori Brotto
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Do you struggle with anxiety or perfectionism? Therapist Caitlin Harrison joins me for a down to earth conversation about how anxiety shows up in our inner thoughts and the bedroom. You’ll hear discussion about purity culture, sexual shame, and how anxiety can disrupt the arousal process.
Learn more about Caitlin Harrison, LMFT
More on these topics:When the problematic people are the ones we loveEvolving out of purity cultureUntangling sexual shame Reclaim your arousal mindsetLet's Go Girls: Hailey from PasadenaOrgasm is a big brain eventMasturbation: Let's dig inConnecting with our bodies and nervous system for better sexPleasurable touch exercise
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Welcome to season 5 and my book launch! Join me as I share why I wrote Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden. Since we can't all gather together across the globe I am bringing the party to you.
More on these topics:
Spicy Audio Stories
Masturbation: Let's Dig In
Uberlube use code CINDY for 15%
Foria Arousal Oil
Arya use code CS15
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Wrapping up Season 4 with two proven ways affection can deeper your connection. Use the practices of kissing for 6 seconds and hugging for 30 seconds to strengthen your relationships.
Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden Permission to Grieve
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Great sex is a mind and body experience. To truly enjoy the sex you're having - you have to be paying attention to the sex you are having! In this episode, I read you a short excerpt from my book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden focused on strengthening your mind-body connection. My book is available now for pre-order with a special 20% holiday discount through the month of December.
Holiday PRE-ORDER discount!
More on this topic
Better Sex Through Mindfulness Book Review
The Truth About Desire with Dr. Brotto
Desire and Mindfulness with Dr. Brotto
Relieving the Mental Load
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Research shows that greater curiosity outside the bedroom leads to higher sexual satisfaction. Sex therapist and author Dr. Emily Jamea joins me to talk about her book Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion. Learn how novelty works as a key component for fueling your desire.
Learn more about Emily Jamea
More on these topicsPracticing Flow State Sex with Emily JameaUnderstanding Your Desire StylePartner desire discrepanciesWant better sex? Ask yourself these questionsFantasy and play in the bedroom with Dr. Carolin Klein
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Learn the difference between vaginal estrogen, vaginal moisturizers, and lube for sex. This quickie episode outlines what each one is, when their use is appropriate and a few frequently asked questions about each. Bite size education for everyone, but especially for those in perimenopause and the menopause transition.
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off
More on this topic:
Guide to Lube
Lube Lube Lube
Perimenopause 101: Hormones and Symptoms
Perimenopause 101: Treatment Options
Tips for talking to a providerMidlife, Menopause and BeyondSexual Reset for Midlife WomenYou're Not Broken with Dr. Kelly Casperson
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Our nervous systems play a critical role in connection and the sensory experience of sex. Aurora Allen, a somatic experiencing practitioner and nervous system educator shares practical steps to connect our bodies and nervous systems for more satisfying sex.
Learn more about Aurora Allen
More on this topic:Dating Your Body with AuroraLearning to Listen to Your BodyPermission to GrieveReconnecting to Yourself and to Your Body
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Need better ways to initiate sex in your relationship? Vanessa and Xander Marin join me to discuss everything we are getting wrong about initiation and tips to do it better. She's a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, he's a regular dude and together they wrote Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Tune in and learn to change the communication of initiation in your relationship.
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Learn more about Vanessa and Xander Marin
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Author Brit Barron joins me to discuss her new book, Do You Still Talk to Grandma? When the problematic people in our lives are the ones we love. Listen in as we talk about the role social media plays, our desire for belonging, and the importance of embracing both nuance and boundaries as a way forward.
Learn more about Brit Barron
More from Brit on the podcast
Evolving Out of Purity Culture
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You know that running to do list in your head? It's called the mental load. Although it is often invisible, it has a big impact on our relationships, sexual desire and stress level. Bringing back an impactful episode from the archives with Dr. Morgan Cutlip. You’ll hear communication starters and practical tips to help you ‘off-load’ and free up mental space for a healthier you and strengthened relationships.
Learn more about Dr. Morgan Cutlip
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Dr. Jenn Gunsuallus joins me to share practical tools for positive relationships. Listen in for her 4 point approach to generous listening and ways to answer bids for connection. Celebrate World Sexual Health Day with these tools that all couples can use to foster healthy connection.
Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D. is a Sexologist, Sociologist, Relationship Coach, Author, and International Speaker.
More on this topicThe Truth About Desire: Mindfulness and the Value of Variety
Conversation Starters to Help You Talk About Sex With a Partner
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Get ready to discover some cheeky and charming ways to turn up the fun and connection between you and a partner! Whether you're looking to bring a little fun into your sexy time or just have a laugh, I’ve got a lineup of games that'll make your bedroom into a playground.
More on this topic:
The Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex MattersOrgasm is a Big Brain EventTemperature PlayExploring Erogenous Zones: Pleasure Practice
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Dr. Debby Herbenick wants us to know that today's trend for rough sex is different than what we might expect. Her research, as detailed in her book Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex, shows a rise in aggressive and risky behavior, often lacking the crucial communication necessary between partners. Listen in as we unpack the rise in rough sex - specifically choking. We also discuss nude images, digital safety, and the importance of having conversations around all these topics with our teenagers and young adults.
Dr. Debby Herbenick is a Provost Professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health-Bloomington, Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, and an AASECT-certified sexuality educator. Her research focuses on women’s sexual health, US population-representative research, as well as trends in sexual attitudes and behaviors.
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I have lost my beloved. There are hardly any words for me right now. I have tried to give you the few I could manage in the midst of this deep grief over the sudden death of the love of my life.
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This week I'm joining Kara Ryska, host of The Special Needs Mom Podcast and sharing our conversation on reconnecting to your body and redefining sensuality. Listen in as we cover some practical ways to build a practice around connecting with yourself, your needs and the sensations in your body.
Find out more about Kara Ryska and The Special Needs Mom Podcast
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To celebrate my 60th birthday this week, I want to share three key insights that have significantly influenced my journey towards sexual wellness. These discoveries are crucial in helping you find the freedom to express, experience, and enjoy your sexuality. Plus, I have an exciting announcement to share!
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use code CINDY for 15% off
More on these topics:
All About Lube
Pain and Sex
Lube. Lube. Lube.Pelvic Health and Painful Sex
Learning to Listen to Your Body
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Embrace your desire. Own your wanting and gather your sexual agency. Doing this will help you change your relationship with desire. Dr. Juliana Hauser joins me to talk about reframing desire and how to get in touch with your vibrancy. You’ll hear practical ways to figure out what you want sexually and ideas for approaching trying new things. Learn about the four quadrant exercise, a no thank you bite, and why Dr. Juliana believes safety is the strongest aphrodisiac.
Learn more about Dr. Juliana Hauser
More on this topic:The Truth About Desire (part one)The Truth About Desire (part two)Partner Sexual Desire DiscrepanciesWhy don’t I want sex as much as my partner?When a partner wants to start something new
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Are you curious about female ejaculation and squirting? Tune in as I answer your frequently asked questions. Yes - women ejaculate, and yes women can squirt. However, they are not the same thing. Learn the where, why and how in this - all about the fluids episode.
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use code CINDY for 15% off
More on these topicsEjaculation and Squirting blog
Female Anatomy of Arousal book review
Female Anatomy 101
Clitoris - it's a network
All About Lube
G spot (area)Why Female Arousal Takes More Than 5 Minutes
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Loving behaviors is one of the six ingredients Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh has found necessary to build a lifetime of love. In this second part of our conversation, we talk about the importance of touch and developing a touch lexicon within your relationship. We get specific about all the ways to touch and how to make sure the touch given is received as intended. Sara also shares her distinction between sexual chemistry and sexual harmony, to help couples create desire and arousal as relationships evolve over time.
Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh is an Author, Speaker and Thinking Partner with a PhD in Social Psychology and specialization in the fields of human sexuality and relationships. Her latest book is, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love.
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The names we do or don’t call our genitals are fascinating. Where do these terms come from? What about the silence around our private parts? Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, who specializes in the fields of human sexuality and relationships, joins me to share her research about genitals around the world. From what we call them and how we groom them, to our relationship with them. We discuss practices around pubic hair, beauty standards, penis size and more. At the end of the episode, Sara shares an exercise to help us begin a healthier relationship with our genitals.
Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh is an Author, Speaker and Thinking Partner with a PhD in Social Psychology and specialization in the fields of human sexuality and relationships. Her mission is building world peace one relationship at a time.
More on this topicLearning to listen to your bodyDating your body
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Scientists have found that sexual noises go hand in hand with enhanced pleasure. Whether you hum, purr or moan - giving voice to what your body is feeling may make sex better. Bonus- it also serves as non-verbal communication and positive reinforcement to your partner!
Make some noise on the blog
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People masturbate for all kinds of reasons including pleasure, exploration, sleep and pain relief. For women who have never experienced orgasm, self-pleasure is the most scientifically supported sex therapy technique to learn the stimulation needed to climax. August McLaughlin, a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio, joins me to share her insights, and personal journey with masturbation. We discuss some practices and tips, as well as debunk a few common myths around solo sex.
August McLaughlin is a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio. Her acclaimed Girl Boner book is currently in its second printing.
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off
More on these topics:Orgasm is a Big Brain Event with Dr. Nan WiseThe Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex Matters with Dr. Nan WiseExploring Your Perspective of Pleasure10 Ways to be Sexual Without MasturbatingUntangling Sexual ShameLearning to Listen to Your BodyNatural Health Benefits of Orgasm
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All about the pelvic floor! Alexa Charbonneau, PT, DPT of Sarton Physical Therapy, joins me to offer her top tips and education for all ages and stages. Do you cough, laugh, sneeze and wet your pants? Do you have pain with sex? Do you have chronic prostatitis? While many of these might be common issues, they are not normal! The good news is there is physical therapy specifically for your pelvic floor. It may hold the solution you’ve been looking for.
Find Alexa Charbonneau and Pelvic Healing Visit our episode sponsor Podbeat More on these topics:
Pelvic Floor and Painful SexPainful sexStretched out vaginas and other myths with Heather Jeffcoat
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In this quickie episode I’ll introduce you to the Kivin Method or oral for her – sideways. Hear a how-to guide and why you might want to try it. I'll also answer a few community questions including 'How can I make doggy style more intimate?' and 'Why do I bleed after sex?' Ten minutes of good education for good sex!
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE **use code CINDY for 15% off
More on these topics:*Oral Sex for WomenGuide to LubePositions with PropsThe clitoris has a hoodThe clitorisWhy female arousal takes more than 5 minutesTrying something newTalking with a provider about sex*
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My guest found that her college students had very little understanding of their own bodies and how to navigate sex in a healthy way. Professor Gwendolyn Dolske Ph.D. teaches Philosophy at Cal Poly Pomona. One of her classes, Current Debates in Sexuality, gives her a unique perspective on what young adults are asking about when it comes to sex and relationships. We discuss topics such as consent, current dating culture, and the high alert status women must negotiate to feel safe in the world.
Learn more about Prof Dolske and Good is in the Details
Learn more on these topics:Why Sex Ed Really MattersGirls and Sex/Boys and Sex, by Peggy OrensteinThe Growing Mental Health Crisis of Our GirlsUnderstanding Consent and Unlearning Body Shame
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People sometimes assume the source of erectile changes in men as they age is a condition called - erectile dysfunction or ED. This is not always the case. In this episode I am discussing some of the normal sexual changes men may experience in midlife and beyond. Listen to learn about normal changes in erections, sexual functioning, and desire for men.
More on these topicsErectile changes vs. erectile dissatisfaction blogCam Fraser: Can Men Be Multi-OrgasmicScheduling Sex video blogThree tips for boosting your arousalTalking about sexual health with your medical providerMedication and your sex lifeThe different ways to experience desirePartner desire discrepancies
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As Gina Gutierrez, the co-founder of Dipsea, says in her Ted Talk, “Using their memories, fantasies, and some focus - women can turn themselves on with their thoughts.” In this conversation, Gina and I discuss exploration of fantasy, the differences between erotica and porn, ways to figure out what turns you on, and barriers to pleasure. I like the way Gina puts it, "Your desire is not a problem to be solved, but a fire to be stoked." You may discover a new tool to spark the flame in this episode.
Use code CINDY for a free month of Dipsea Audio Stories
More on this topicThe pleasure crisis and why good sex mattersOrgasm is a big brain eventWomen's Anatomy of Arousal book reviewCome As You Are book reviewExploring your perspective of pleasureFantasy and play in the bedroomFemale arousal takes more than 5 minutesHow desire really works with Dr. Lori BrottoYour brain and sex video
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Most of us didn’t get a lot of education around sex, let alone how to talk about sex with a partner. Just like any new language, sexual conversation is a learnable skill that gets more comfortable with practice. Use the questions and prompts in this episode as conversation starters. Designed to be used with a partner, these are great for date night, weekend walks or on your next long drive together. Learn to talk about sex - one chat at a time.
More on this topic:Conversation PromptsTalking with a partner about sexSexual communicationWant better sex? Ask yourself these questionsToys, Fantasy and Play in the BedroomGet out of your foreplay rutDesire StylesPartner Desire DiscrepanciesSexify your spaceSensual Play
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My guest Matthias Roberts, psychotherapist, and author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms says, “Wherever there is sex, there seems to be shame.” Matthias writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. He feels one of the first steps in fighting shame is to practice recognizing it. Together we discuss how to identify our shame, acknowledge our worthiness, and allow ourselves pleasure.
Find Matthias Roberts
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There are many options available to treat your symptoms during the menopause transition. I continue my conversation with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist about perimenopause. We discuss non-hormonal prescriptions, systemic hormonal therapy, vaginal estrogen, moisturizers, and lubricants for sex. Dr. Shyama also shares how to find qualified menopause clinicians and why we should all ask for a pelvic floor physical therapy referral. Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% offLearn more about Dr. Shyama Mathews More on these topics:Find a menopause practitioner through NAMSMidlife & Menopause: Let's Go Girls with HeatherSexual Reset for Midlife WomenDo you ever think your sex life is broken with Dr. Kelly CaspersonTips for speeding up arousalPain and SexGuide to LubePelvic HealthHow to talk to a provider about sexual health
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Education is key to entering the menopause transition knowledgeable and prepared! In this episode, learn what you need to know about perimenopause with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgeon, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist. We discuss when changes start, the common symptoms experienced, and what your hormones are doing. Don’t “gut out” the menopause transition, instead feel empowered to advocate for your health.
Learn more about Dr. Shyama Mathews Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE **use code CINDY for 15% off
More on these topics:*Find a menopause practitioner through NAMSPain and SexGuide to LubePelvic Health*How to talk to a provider about sexual health
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"Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have." Dana B. Myers, self-described as a sensually empowered voice for women, joins me to talk about how to embrace your sensuality and sexuality to boost your confidence. Dana and I get practical with tips for sexy talk, sexy texting, and how to communicate your desires. This episode will help you feel more turned on, assertive and engaged with your sensuality for a sexier YOU!
Learn more about Dana B. Myers
More on these topics:
Foreplay using your sensesTen ways to explore being a sexual personMake some noise during sexGet out of your foreplay rutTalking about sex with a partnerScheduling sex
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My guest Ruthie Lindsey invites us into the liberating process of unlearning the stories we have been told about our bodies and finding delight in reclaiming pleasure. Having survived a catastrophic accident that left her living in chronic pain, Ruthie shares her journey toward embodied living and the many tools she’s found to help her along the way. Although the pain still visits her, Ruthie has found healing by learning to love and listen to her body. “Love is always inviting us back home to ourselves, to our bodies, and to healing.”
Learn more about Ruthie Lindsey Learn more about these topicsLearning to Listen to Your BodyDating Your BodyUnlearning Body Shame and Understanding ConsentComing Home to Yourself with Arielle EstoriaMy Letter to Young Women
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This is the second most downloaded episode of all three seasons! Originally called Pleasure Techniques (Episode 41), I cover two important topics. First, I share the four specific techniques women can use with vaginal penetration to experience more pleasure and potential for orgasm. Then, I talk about how faking orgasms can undermine your pleasure and cause sexual miscommunication with a partner. If you’re new to my listening community, missed it the first time around, or want a refresher, give this quickie a listen.
More on this topicPairing demoShallowing demoRocking demoThe clitoris - it’s a network!Questions about orgasmThe key to female pleasurePleasure techniquesFaking orgasms Let’s talk orgasms
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Did you know the medications you take can have an impact on your sex life? Learn about medications known to have sexual health side effects and what those common side effects are. I also offer talking points and my best nurse tip for having a conversation with your healthcare provider about any concerns or inquiries you might have pertaining to your sexual health and the medications you are taking. Get curious and be empowered to ask questions and advocate for your health!
More on this topicMedications and your sexual healthSSRIs and sex Talking about sexual health with a healthcare provider
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Join me for a conversation with Abby, a devoted volunteer for our podcast and member of our community. We dive into the challenging waters of unlearning body shame, dismantling beliefs around our bodies and reclaiming sexual health education. Abby shares her experiences of how the pandemic era has shaped new perspectives on bodily autonomy and navigating consent. Learn more about what consent is, what it isn't and how to cultivate discussions around it.
More on this topic:Dating Your BodyLearning to LIsten to Your BodyComing Home to YourselfEvolving Out of Purity CultureLess Shame - More Sex EdWhy Sex Ed Really MattersReclaim Your Arousal MindsetMy Letter to Young WomanExploring Your Perspective of Pleasure10 Ways to Be Sexual Without Masturbating
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Do you feel at home in your body? I had the pleasure of talking about our relationship to our bodies with the multitalented Arielle Estoria, an artist, poet, writer, and actor. Her journey of self-discovery and spirituality is beautifully chronicled in her book, 'The Unfolding: An Invitation to Come Home to Yourself. ' Her story is a testament to the transformative impact of embracing one's body for ultimate liberation. Arielle shares the practices that allowed her to release years of self-condemnation and reconnect with her body on her own terms. Tune in and let Arielle inspire you to find home within yourself.
Find out more about Arielle Estoria
More on these topicsLearning to listen to your bodyDating your bodyEvolving out of purity cultureMy letter to young womenBook review: The Body Is Not An ApologyBook review: Mother's, Daughter's and Body Image
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CALL or TEXT to submit a question: 1-714- 455-9149
Dabbling with hot and cold sensations can be a tantalizing way to explore erotic sensuality alone or with a partner. Our bodies have so many sensitive erogenous zones that can respond to temperature changes. Play with these simple ideas to create exciting and sexy anticipation for your body and brain as you bring the heat or cool things down.
More on these topics:Temperature Play BlogUsing Your Senses for PleasureForeplay 101Maude massage candles(affiliate link: discount code CINDY10)
Pleasurable Touch ExerciseYour Brain's Sexual Accelerator and Brake Video
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Leah Fischer and Cass Redding, founders of Intimate Wellbeing, join me to share their individual journeys of self-discovery and finding sexual pleasure in midlife. Their paths of growth empowered them to team up and create an e-commerce platform for women. They are on a mission to provide tools and resources for enhancing intimacy and pleasure for the midlife woman, all while ending sexual health stigma.
Learn more about Intimate WellbeingUse discount code CINDY15
Learn more on these topics:Why vibrators work for women and how to choose oneGuide to lubeMidlife & Menopause with Heather Toys, Fantasy and Play in the BedroomVibrators, Edging and Anal Sex
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CALL or TEXT to submit a question: 1-714- 455-9149
Play in the bedroom is highly underrated! Psychologist and sex therapist Carolin Klein joins me to offer tips and answer questions about toys, vibrators, and fantasy. Learn about some common fantasies and less intimidating ways to share what makes your heart race. We talk through a helpful list of dos and don’ts for choosing toys and how to introduce the idea with a partner. Create memorable sexual experiences by bringing more play into the bedroom.
Visit our episode sponsor Intimate Wellbeing and use code CINDY15
Dr. Carolin Kleinis a sex therapist and a Registered Psychologist. She is co-founder and co-director of the West Coast Centre for Sex Therapy in Vancouver, BC.
Learn more about these topics:Why vibrators work for women and how to choose oneWhy don’t I want sex as much as my partner?Partner Desire Discrepancies Want better sex? Ask these questionsVibrators, Edging and Anal SexTalking about sex with a partnerWhen your partner wants to try something new
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CALL or TEXT to submit a question: 1-714- 455-9149
All people, regardless of abilities, are sexual beings, and deserve access to sexual health education. Mad Hatter Wellness creates comprehensive sex ed and health curriculum primarily for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Educator Anna Heyak, their heart of operations, joins me to discuss tools, language and strategies for parents and caregivers.
Learn more about Mad Hatter Wellness Free resources from Mad Hatter WellnessPeople in My Life and Relationship CircleHeart of Relationships with Healthy & Unhealthy chart Anna’s Recommended Disability Educators and ActivistsEva SweeneyAndrew GurzaJudy Heumann
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If you want to become a more attentive lover, start with foreplay and pre-foreplay! Meygan Caston of Marriage365 joins me to bring some sweet and spicy ways to cultivate better intimacy in and out of the bedroom. Use these ideas to create sexual tension and excitement as well as emotional safety with your partner. Learn how get out of your foreplay routine, and level up your sexual connection.
Visit our episode sponsor Intimate Wellbeing **and use discount code CINDY15
Learn more about Marriage365 Learn more on these topics*Foreplay Using Your SensesOral Sex for WomenTemperature PlayCommunication, Couples and SexTalking About Sex (when things aren’t great)Sexify Your SpaceCreate a Sexy PlaylistSex and Your BrainErogenous Zones PracticeArousal, Role Play & Condoms*
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CALL or TEXT to submit a question: 1-714- 455-9149
Oral sex is a highly reliable path to orgasm for women. This episode talks about creating anticipation, building arousal toward crescendo and specific tongue techniques to stimulate the clitoris and vulva. Also hear tips on positioning, when to add variety, and when to stick with consistency. Learn the signs of approaching orgasm, to help your partner go over the edge with pleasure.
Visit our episode sponsor Lovability and use code CINDY for 10% off
Learn more about these topicsMake Some NoiseTemperature PlayThe Key to Women’s PleasureThe Clitoris - it’s a network!The Clitoris has a hoodFemale Anatomy 101She Comes First Book ReviewUsing Your Senses for PleasureWhy Arousal Takes More Than 5 MinutesMen and SexTalking about sex with a partnerCommunication, Couples and Sex
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CALL or TEXT to submit a question: 1-714- 455-9149
Sex coach Cam Fraser returns for part two of our conversation about men and sex. We cover erections, ejaculation, and how men can experience multiple orgasms. Find out Cam's communication tip for women partnered with men, and why men need more permission to explore their bodies for pleasure and fulfilling intimacy.
Learn more about Cam's work
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Cam Fraser, a therapist and licensed sex coach says the script men learn: “Get it up. Get it in. Get it off.” is ruining sex lives. He shares his story and the ways he learned to reframe his own approach to pleasure. We discuss the sex ed men and their partners need to get out of the box that says sex has to look a certain way and to move toward more fulfilling intimacy.
Learn more about Cam's work
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics:
Guide to Lube
Desire Styles
Boys & Sex Book ReviewErectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction
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CALL or TEXT to submit a question: 1-714- 455-9149
Have you ever felt broken when it comes to your sex life? Urologist and sex expert Kelly Casperson, MD joins me to talk about her book You’re Not Broken: Stop “Should-ing” All Over Your Sex Life. We discuss what bad sex looks like, why sometimes ‘good enough’ sex is fantastic and how self-cultivation enhances your sexual health. I also asked Dr. Casperson her top tips for preventing UTIs (find them at 27:53).
Learn more about Dr. Kelly Casperson
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube use CINDY for 15% off
More on these topicsBook review: The Body is Not an ApologyLearning to Listen to Your BodyDate Your BodyWhy don’t I want sex as much as my partner (Desire styles)Guide to lube
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CALL or TEXT to submit a question: 1-714- 455-9149
Answering your orgasm questions in this episode, including: Are all orgasms the same? Is it normal for some orgasms to be more intense than others? My orgasms have changed as I’ve gotten older, am I normal? Why is it so much easier for me to orgasm by myself, than with a partner? Can I orgasm from stimulation to my clitoral hood? What can I do to make orgasm easier?
More on this topic:How can I orgasm easier?Let’s Talk Orgasms
The Key to Female Pleasure
Clitoral Hood
Reclaim Your Arousal MindsetEdging
Why Vibrators Work For WomenPelvic Floor HealthMedications and your sexual health
SSRI's and your sex life
Talking with a provider about sexual health
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Your brain is wired for pleasure! My conversation with Dr. Nan Wise continues as she shares her research about how your brain benefits from orgasm and pleasure and how even thinking about pleasurable stimulation lights up your brain like a Christmas tree! As she emphatically says, “Orgasm is a big brain event!” She also teaches how to lay down pleasure pathways to help those who find it difficult to orgasm. Learn about your brain-body connections and how the more you pay attention to the sensations you feel, the more you can dial them up for more pleasure.
Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.Learn more about Dr. Nan Wise
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube **and use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more on these topics:*Exploring your perspective of pleasureWhy vibrators work for women and how to choose oneNatural health benefits of orgasmThe sexual accelerator and brake in the brain Sex on the brain*
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Our society has a love/hate relationship with pleasure. More people than ever are experiencing anhedonia, the reduced ability to experience pleasure. Dr. Nan Wise, neuroscience researcher, certified sex therapist and author of Why Good Sex Matters, joins me to discuss why pleasure is a necessity for a balanced emotional brain. She walks us through the seven core emotional systems that give us feedback about what feels good and what is good for us. Dr. Nan expoundson how our brain is the command center for sex and a generator of pleasure. Learn more about your wired-in pleasure system and why good sex matters.
Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.Learn more about Dr. Nan Wise
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics:
The Growing Mental Health Crisis of Our Girls
Dating Your Body
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Sex on the Brain
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WeNatal caught my attention with their holistic approach to fertility. Instead of the usual focus on me - the woman, they widen it to we - and include the partner. They bring men into the fertility equation. Founders Vida Delrahim and Ronit Menashe join me to talk about the importance of preconception care, healthy practices, gratitude and a more well rounded focus for couples in the fertility season. They share their story of miscarriage, friendship and the community they are building to support families on the fertility journey.
Learn more about WeNatalWeNatal free preconception guide
Learn more about these topics
Sex, Postpartum and BreastfeedingSex and PregnancyIntimacy During Infertility or After MiscarriageTips for a Better BedroomSex after baby
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As Esther Perel says, “Creativity is where eroticism lives.” In this quickie episode I am highlighting three positions that make use of pillows or props. Try something new with Lifted Missionary, Chair Sex or Sex with Heels. Get a little creative with these positions for more comfort, fun and erotic pleasure.
Learn more about these topics:Pleasure Techniques Ep. 41Pleasure Techniques on the BlogG-spotThe Clitoris - It's a Whole NetworkSex on the BrainForeplay IdeasTen Tips to Sexify Your BedroomWhen Your Partner Wants to Try Something New
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I am determined to keep the growing mental health crisis among young women in front of our community. Our girls are struggling more than boys. Why? Did you know that 1 out of every 4 teen girls has symptoms of major depression? This is compared with fewer than 1 in 10 boys. Girls are also twice as likely as boys to suffer from anxiety. We have a crisis on our hands. Award-winning journalist, Donna Jackson Nakazawa, joins me to discuss the topic. We talk about how the toxic stressors of social media and our culture are uniquely affecting girls' mental health. We share action steps from Donna’s book, Girls on the Brink, that you can use to help the girl in your life thrive - not just survive!
Donna Jackson Nakazawa is the author of Girls on the Brink as well as four books that explore the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and emotion, including The Angel and the Assassin and Childhood Disrupted.
Learn more about these topics
Learning to Listen to Your BodyBook Review: Girls and Sex, Boys and SexBook Review: Mothers Daughters and Body ImageBook Review: The Body Is Not An ApologyBlog: Parent-Child JournalColoring Book For Girls
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I invited Sheila Gregoire back to break down what women actually want from their male partners in bed. Sharing excerpts from her book, The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, we debunk myths about the magic penis, mental load, foreplay, female arousal, and orgasm. Learn some practical ideas for increased pleasure and better sex!
Visit our episode sponsor MANSCAPED and use code PERMISSION for 20% off and free shipping
Learn more about Sheila's work
More on these topics
Ep 29 on arousal with Sheila
Sexual Scripts
Mental Load
Foreplay
Female Arousal
The Clitoris
Pleasure Techniques
Questions about orgasm
Mindfulness
Pleasure practice
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Welcome to Season Three! Whether you are a new listener, or have been here since the beginning - thank you for being part of this community. On this podcast we have conversations about sexual health and pleasure. Episodes include everything from interviews with experts to hearing from members of this community. This show is constantly evolving as I prioritize the topics you most want to hear about. My hope is that this community will help you to open healthy conversations and give yourself permission for pleasure.
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Exploring our erogenous zones is something to do often. We are wrapping up season two on the podcast by revisiting one of my favorite pleasure practices. This touch exercise is a wonderful way to connect with your body and your partner's. We change, and so do our bodies, which means our erogenous zones can as well. Learn ways to communicate where you enjoy being touched, as well as what kind of touch feels good. Explore each other's bodies with this guided touch exercise.
Learn more about these topicsPleasurable Touch Practice
Massage Candles by Maude (use code CINDY10 for discount)
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Talking about sex is a skill strengthened through practice. In this quickie episode, I’m offering some helpful tips and conversation prompts to get you started. Listen solo or with your partner to learn practical ways to boost your sexual communication. Topics include: sexual frequency, reasons you want to have sex, scheduling sexy dates, being honest about what you no longer enjoy, and trying new things.
Visit our episode sponsorSexfirmation Cards and use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics
Talking with a partner about sex
When your partner wants to try something new
Sexify your space on the podcast
Ten tips for a better bedroom blog
Episode 35 with Dr. Jac Sherman
Communication, couples and sex
Talking about sex (when things aren't great)
Scheduling sex
Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions
Why don't I want sex as much as my partner
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It is always a delight when a member of our community comes on the show to share their story. Brit "Beans" Barron is a teacher, speaker and author of Worth It. She joins me for a conversation about her journey evolving out of purity culture. We discuss her work to unpack shame, unravel the purity narrative and embrace her sexuality as a queer woman.
Learn more about Brit's workLearn more about these topics:
My letter to young women
Less Shame - More Sex Ed
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
Let's Go Girls: Hailey from Pasadena
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You met the delightful Taylor Stonack if you watched episode one of Netflix’s How to Build a Sex Room. Whether you've seen the show or not, you’ll be drawn into her journey which she shares with both laughter and tears. She joins me for a conversation about her experience on the show, how she became interested in kink, and what she learned about herself through the process. She shares a few un-aired moments including a scene that brought back her past experience of sexual trauma. Through the outpouring of care and solid consent language, this resulted in a beautiful healing moment for her during the show’s creation. According to Taylor, “It started out as a room but it turned into more than that.”
Taylor Stonack appeared on the first season of Netflix's How To Build A Sex Room, and her mission is to create a safe space for people to talk about their wants and desires in every aspect of their life. Find Taylor on IG
Visit our episode sponsor Reclaiming Pleasure with Dr. Holly Richmond Learn more about these topicsSexify Your BedroomPleasure After Trauma EpisodeReclaiming Pleasure Book ReviewSupporting SurvivorsArousal, Role Play and Condoms
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How in the world can a new mom feel sexy in survival mode? Journalist Simone Boyce flips the script to interview me about life and intimacy after childbirth. I answer her questions about the six-week mark, re-examining pleasure, code switching out of "mommy mode," and the reality of feeling touched out. You’ll learn my tips for intimacy without the pressure and ways to embrace outercourse (or as Simone says, “things you can do on the outside without ever having to go in the house!”). We talk about it all in this episode!
Simone Boyce is a nationally recognized journalist, host and speaker whose work has been featured on MSNBC, the Today Show, Access Hollywood and more. Sign up for her newsletter Motherload.
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube **use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics**
Sex After Baby
All About Lube
Your Body After Baby
Sex and Pregnancy
Sex, Postpartum, and Breastfeeding
Myth Busting with UC
Pain and Sex
Stretched-Out Vaginas and Other Myths
Mental Load
Mindfulness and the Truth About Desire
Better Sex Through Mindfulness book review
The 6 second kiss from the Gottman Institute
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Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all build ourselves a whole room dedicated to sex and intimacy? For most of us, that’s not a reality. However we can make changes to sexify the space we do have! In this quickie episode, you’ll hear my ten tips to create a more sensual and inviting atmosphere in your bedroom. Research shows that those with the most enjoyable sex life, set up their environment for sex with intention. Choose from - moody lighting, mirrors, props, privacy and more - to level up your bedroom for better sex.
Learn more about these topics
Foreplay Ideas
Create the mood you enjoy
Sexy playlist
Lube
Blog: Ten tips for a better bedroom
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Alex Liu, a health reporter and director of the documentary; A Sexplanation joins me for a conversation about why we need comprehensive sex ed. We talk about his experience growing up as a young gay man, the sexual silence and shame that almost destroyed him, and how he found freedom and belonging by going on a quest for the sex education he never got. We agree that there are a lot of questions about sex that are “unasked, unspoken and unanswered!” This episode will encourage individuals, partners and parents to ask, speak and answer those questions.
Learn more about Alex and A Sexplanation
Learn more about these topics
Why Sex Ed Really Matters with guest Kristen MarkMy letter to parents: You can be your child's sexual health educatorConversations Starters for Parenting PartnersChildhood sexual abuse prevention: 2 tools for parentsHelp! My child is starting sex ed at school CALL or TEXT to submit a question 1-714-455-9149
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Colleen Weeks and I continue our conversation and discuss the challenges and changes in the fourth trimester, the 3-month time period after birthing a baby. Topics include hormone changes, the 6-weeks suggested for healing, why you may need lubrication for sex, and how fatigue affects sexual arousal. We also dive into breastfeeding to answer some common questions, such as does breastfeeding work as birth control, and why milk leaks or spurts with sex. You’ll hear thoughts on parenting roles, the mental load and communication strategies between partners to help you navigate this often-overwhelming season of change.
For more than 40 years, Colleen Weeks has passionately worked with childbearing women and their families as a Certified Childbirth, Lactation and Sex Educator, Certified Perinatal Bereavement Counselor and Maternal Mental Health Specialist. At Kaiser Permanente Orange County’s Anaheim and Irvine Medical Center’s she is the Perinatal Education manager. Colleen serves on the Family Violence Prevention team where she piloted an (ACE’s) Adverse Childhood Experience’s project and coordinates the FVPP Ambassador program.
Learn more about these topics
Lube. Lube. LubePain and SexSex After BabyWhat Pelvic Health Has To Do With Painful SexStretched-out Vaginas and Other MythsYour Body After BabyMental LoadLearning to Listen to Your BodyReclaim Your Arousal MindsetScheduling Sex
CALL or TEXT to submit a question 1-714-455-9149
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My long time colleague and friend Colleen Weeks joins me to talk about all things pregnancy. This episode is your private in-home education class! You'll hear information every person needs to know about hormones, sex in pregnancy, partner concerns, and all the changes a body goes through to grow and birth a whole human. One of the biggest changes Colleen has witnessed over the years, is the increasing lack of trust women have in their bodies and how they function. Our hope is that this conversation will you help you gain confidence to trust your body in pregnancy, and all the seasons of your life.
*Don’t miss our next episode - Part Two: Sex, Postpartum and Breastfeeding
For more than 40 years, Colleen Weeks has passionately worked with childbearing women and their families as a Certified Childbirth, Lactation and Sex Educator, Certified Perinatal Bereavement Counselor and Maternal Mental Health Specialist. At Kaiser Permanente Orange County’s Anaheim and Irvine Medical Center’s she is the Perinatal Education manager. Colleen serves on the Family Violence Prevention team where she piloted an (ACE’s) Adverse Childhood Experience’s project and coordinates the FVPP Ambassador program.
Learn more about these topics
Sex After BabyLearning to Listen to Your BodyTaking your Body on a DateYour Body After Baby
CALL or TEXT to submit a question 1-714-455-9149
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Dr. Hillary McBride joins me for a conversation about embodiment or as she defines it, “Our experience of being a body as it’s shaped by culture.” She provides tools to help us untangle the cultural scripts we have taken in, along with gentle guidance for how we can reframe and choose a healthier way to be in our body. You’ll hear how you can learn to listen to your body, embrace your sensuality and give yourself more permission for pleasure.
Dr. Hillary McBride is a registered psychologist, a researcher, and podcaster. She is the author of: Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are and The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding wholeness, healing and connection through embodied living. She was the senior editor of the textbook Embodiment and Eating Disorders: Theory, Research, Prevention, and Treatment. www.Hillarylmcbride.com
Learn more about these topics:
Mothers, Daughters and Body Image
Dating Your Body
The Body is Not an Apology
My Letter to Young Women
CALL or TEXT to submit a question 1-714-455-9149
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Listen in to learn four techniques women use to increase pleasure during vaginal penetration. OMGyes, in partnership with Indiana University School of Medicine, conducted a nationally representative study of over 3000 women, and I share their results in this episode. Hear about shallowing, pairing, rocking, and angling - along with practical tips for each one. I also discuss how faking orgasm can undermine your pleasure and give conversation starters to open a discussion about it with a partner.
Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off
Learn more about these topics
The clitoris - it’s a network!
Questions about orgasm
The key to female pleasure
Maude use code CINDY10
Dame
OMGyes
Communication, Couples & Sex
Talking with a partner about sex
Talking About Sex (When Things Aren't Great)
CALL or TEXT to submit a question 1-714-455-9149
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Have you and your partner experienced conflict over mismatched sexual desire or frequency? Have you ever asked yourself: why sex matters to you? Cyndi Darnell joins me to talk about the healthy questions to ask yourself for better sexual self-understanding - which can lead to better sex! Learn the truth about mismatched sexual desire, the problems that result when couples equate frequency with quality, and ideas for creating a more satisfying sex life.
Cyndi Darnell is a clinical and somatic sexologist and author of Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It: The Truth About Mismatched Libido & Rediscovering Desire.
Learn more about Cyndi’s work
https://cyndidarnell.com/
Learn more about these topics:
Understanding Your Desire Style For Better Sex
Partner Sexual Desire Discrepancies
Sexual Scripts
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Therapist Sam Tielemans joins me to discuss why we need to talk about pornography, not only in our relationships but also as parents with our kids. Part one of this conversation includes: information about unhealthy usage of pornography and that it usually isn’t about sex, what the average age of a child’s exposure is to porn (5:21), and how lies and deception break the attachment bond which may possibly cause betrayal trauma (8:25). We role play how to navigate the discussion with a partner and prompts to get you started (16:20).
Sam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping couples overcome the effect of unhealthy porn use in their relationship, to rebuild trust, and improve their sexual intimacy.
Learn more about Sam's work:
Coupleshealing.org
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Therapist Sam Tielemans and I continue the conversation about pornography and specifically how it can affect relationships. We discuss the feelings women often experience when they discover their partner uses porn and why dealing with this issue alone is so difficult. Then we offer practical ways for couples to get started communicating as well as ideas for moving toward healing.
Sam Tielemans is a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in helping couples overcome the effect of unhealthy porn use in their relationship, to rebuild trust, and improve their sexual intimacy.
Learn more about Sam's work:
Coupleshealing.org
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Jessica Lorion experienced a debilitating autoimmune disease that impacted her body image, intimacy, and relationship. It also detoured her desire to start a family. We talk together about her health and relationship journey, her positive pivot of starting a community, and our shared passion of supporting pregnant women and aspiring moms on their journey into motherhood.
Learn more about Mamas in Training
Listen to Sex and Pregnancy
Listen to Sex and Postpartum
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ASK a Question: 1-714- 455-9149
In this episode I’m answering your community questions. One woman wants to know why arousal takes so long, if it’s normal and tips to help (0:55). Another listener asks about how to start role play in the bedroom without feeling awkward (3:57). Then I offer some sexy tips for a couple that says putting on a condom is ruining their mood (8:30).
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Learn more about these topics:
The Key to Female Pleasure
When my partner wants to try something new
SSRI’s and your sex life
Lube--
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Have you heard your vagina stretches out if you have a lot of sex? Or that kegels are the answer to all your pelvic floor issues? How about the one that a vaginal delivery ruins your sex life? Heather Jeffcoat returns to the podcast for a round of true or false about common sexual health myths. We also offer advice for first intercourse; dilator use and period problems. In this episode you’ll learn the facts to help you advocate for your sexual health.
Heather Jeffcoat, DPT is a recognized expert in the field of improving women’s health through physical therapy and President of The Academy of Pelvic Health Physical Therapy.
Learn more about Heather’s work here: www.fusionwellnesspt.com
Visit our episode sponsor Soul Source and use code CINDY15 for 15% of dilators
Learn More About These Topics
Vibrators
Pain & Sex
Lube
Sex Without Pain Book
Body After Baby
Sex After Baby
Talking With a Provider About Sexual Health
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Miscarriage or infertility is often the first medical crisis young couples face and finding intimacy through these times can pose some unique challenges. Dr. Jacqueline Sherman shares her personal story as well as specific ideas to help couples navigate the journey. You'll learn ways to connect with your feelings, your partner, and tips to reframe your sex life for more intimacy and connection.
Dr. Jacqueline Sherman is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Intimacy and Relationship Coach. www.drjac.co
Learn more about these topics
Mindfulness
Book Review: Better Sex Through Mindfulness
Talking with a partner about sex
Pleasurable Touch Practice
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PART TWO: It can feel uncomfortable asking for what you want in bed. The good news is that talking with a partner about sex is a skill you can learn. In this episode, our conversation with Meygan Caston continues as she shares how communication saved her sex life. In part two, she takes things to the next level by asking for a ‘pleasure gift’ on her 10-year wedding anniversary. You’ll hear more of her tips and strategies for talking about sex with a partner, and will be encouraged to give yourself permission for pleasure.
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365.
www.marriage365.com
Learn more about these topics
Meygan’s Episode in Season One
Talking with a partner about sex
When a partner wants to try something new
Vibrators
Book Recommendation for Oral Sex
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PART ONE: When things aren’t going so great in the bedroom, communication may be what you need to turn things around. Research shows that talking about sex is one of the strongest predictors of sexual satisfaction. In this episode, Meygan Caston joins us as our first repeat guest on the podcast. This time, she shares the story of how she learned to talk about sex with her partner, and offers us the communication tips and strategies she gathered as they transformed their sex life from really bad - to really good.
Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365.
www.marriage365.com
Learn more about these topics
Meygan’s Episode in Season One
Talking with a partner about sex
When a partner wants to try something new
Vibrators
Book Recommendation for Oral Sex
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Foreplay should be all day! I like to think of foreplay as connection building activities rather than just a lead up to sex. Connection certainly doesn't start in the bedroom. Foreplay can be tender, playful, and erotic. In this quickie episode, I offer some specific ideas to intentionally use each of your senses to increase pleasure and get creative with connection. It is said that variety is the spice of life, so let's get curious, have fun, and get spicy!
Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE **and receive 15% off with code CINDY
Learn more about these topics:**
- Lube
- Touch Exercise
- Maude (use code CINDY10)
- Creating a Sexy Playlist
- Make Some Noise
- Using your Senses for Pleasure
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Dr. Rossana Sida joins me for a conversation about her work with survivors and those who care for them. We discuss common challenges of recovery, options for those seeking help, language to use with recovering partners, and navigating ongoing consent. You are never alone in the continuing work of healing and recovery. Whether you are a survivor, in a relationship with one, or desire to understand how to best care for someone else, you’ll find some tools here for healing and hope.
Dr. Rossana Sida is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in sex and relationships with a special interest in the intersection of female sexuality and sexual abuse.
Learn more about Rossana’s work:
www.togethernesstherapy.com
Learn more about these topics
Pleasure after trauma
Our bodies and trauma
Painful Sex
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In this episode, I talk with Dr. Shannon Chavez. We explore the importance of curiosity, consent, and communication, and then we unpack a few topics from my community question box about vibrators, edging, and anal sex.
- Edging tips for slowing things down and building arousal.
- Vibrators -why they work for women and healthy practices
- Anal sex: yes or no? Basics about consent, lube and safety.
Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice, SHAPE (Sexual Health and Pleasure Enhancement) Center in Beverly Hills, California.
Learn more about Shannon’s work:
Drshannonchavez.com
Learn more about these topics
Edging
Vibrators
Lube
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Join me and my friend Heather for an episode in our “Let’s Go Girls” series where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women have learned about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. We discuss the facts, challenges and freedom of midlife and menopause. Listen to learn, laugh, get prepared and feel less alone in whatever stage of womanhood you find yourself.
Visit our episode sponsor COCONU and receive 15% off your order with code: Pleasure
Learn more about these topics:
Sex and Pain
Lube
Erectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction
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Sheila Wray Gregoire and her team conducted a study of 20,000 women to determine what makes sex great for some and less satisfying for others, along with rates of sexual pain. In this episode we discuss what these women had to say and find out how significant cultural narratives are on our desire styles and arousal as women. What started out as a chat about female arousal, quickly turned into a thought-provoking conversation around how our mindset impacts female arousal. Let’s all start asking Sheila’s question: “What wants to be touched right now?”
Learn more about Sheila's work
ToLoveHonorandVacuum.com Learn more about these topicsPain and SexDesire StylesThe Key To Female PleasureMental LoadListening to Your Body
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Did you know your brain is your most important sex organ?! This quickie episode is an introduction to the roll your brain plays in sexual response. There is a two-part system, an accelerator and a brake. A lot of people think there might be something wrong with their ON or accelerator, but most often the issues are with your OFF or brake. Listen and learn about questions to ask yourself that will help you to investigate what might be turning you ON or OFF.
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“Attention training through mindfulness may be part of the recipe for cooking up sexual desire.” Dr. Lori Brotto and I continue our conversation about desire. Part Two gets practical, providing helpful tools to cultivate desire. Our discussion includes: the power of attention training and mindfulness, why sexual communication is essential, and the value of variety in encouraging arousal and desire in women.
Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC, director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire.
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Do you want to know how sexual desire actually works and how to cultivate it? Dr. Lori Brotto shares the research-based truth about desire in this two-part episode. Part One includes the causes of low desire, and the things that affect it. If you thought it was all about the hormones, Brotto says, “Mood, sense of well-being, body image, self-esteem, and how a woman feels about her partner turned out to be far stronger predictors of her level of sexual desire than a single hormone.” What you hear in this conversation might literally transform your sex life!
Dr. Lori Brotto is a Professor in the UBC Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, and a Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada. She is the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute of BC, director of the UBC Sexual Health Laboratory and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire.
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Silence is the enemy of sexual health education and most people go through life experiencing this silence. Join Dr. Kristen Mark and I for a discussion about why sex education really matters for our children, for adults, and for all of us throughout our lifespan. We can never truly have enough education about sexuality because we are constantly changing, as are our bodies and relationships. You’ll hear what the data shows about comprehensive sex education, how couples can navigate sexual difficulties, and the importance of pleasure as part of the conversation!
Kristen Mark, PhD, MPH, CSE is the Joycelyn Elders endowed chair in sexual health education and tenured professor at the Institute for Sexual and Gender Health in the University of Minnesota Medical School.
www.kristenmark.com
theabstinenceproject.com
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Welcome 2022 and Season Two! This podcast is designed to help women express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. We’ll be having more rich conversations with experts, plenty of sexual health education, and a whole lot of learning how to talk about sex. This community is a place where you will hear good education, gain confidence, and be prompted to open your own conversations about all things sexual health. Cheers to giving ourselves permission for pleasure!
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A bonus episode all about orgasms! We have combined a few highlights of the many conversations we have had about the Big O in Season One. From faking them to ranking them, this remix is full of facts and healthy reframes for learning to experience more pleasure. Thank you for being a part of this podcast community, and please follow the show on your favorite listening platform. Cheers to the New Year and giving yourself more permission for pleasure!
Episodes 1, 2, 9, 11 & 19
Featured Guests:
Dr. Laurie Mintz - Episode 2 (3:39)
Dr. Erica Marchand - Episode 9 (5:14)
Dr. Uchenna Ossai Episode 11 (9:11)
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Just in time for holiday season, here is a quickie episode about sex and connection when you’re short on time. Listen for some reasons why quickies can be a valuable part of your sexy lineup, and a few ideas to try. Now, about those kisses. Are you hungry for kisses that mean something? Kisses that are more than a mere gesture? Here’s my thoughts on kisses that move you toward connection, the savoring kind!
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My daughter joins me for this holiday episode where we discuss the 5 Love Languages, some tools for emotional connection and several gift ideas. I share a few of my marriage mantras and three sexy date suggestions for couples. Click the link below to take the 2 minute survey I created for your give feedback about the podcast!
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Dr. Holly Richmond says, “Your sexual trauma doesn’t inform your sexuality; it misinforms it.” Join us for a compassionate discussion about recovery, healing and pleasure after sexual trauma. Holly and I discuss her research based insights about control, pleasure, and connection for thriving. This conversation centers on practices and hopeful guidance for survivors and those who love them. And because healing and recovery is not a solitary process, there is advice here for all of us.
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Dr. Holly Richmond is a Somatic Psychotherapist, LMFT and Certified Sex Therapist. Her book, Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life, is an innovative look at both somatic and psychological factors in survivors’ erotic recovery.
www.drhollyrichmond.com
The Mental Load is the running to do list that we carry around in our minds. Although it is often invisible, it has a big impact on our relationship, our sexual desire and our stress level.
Dr. Morgan Cutlip joins me for a discussion about what the Mental Load looks like in our everyday lives and how couples can manage it together. You’ll hear lots of communication starters and very practical tips to help you ‘off-load’ and free up mental space for a healthier relationship and a healthier YOU!
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Morgan Cutlip, Ph.D., is a wife, mom, and life-long lover of all things relationships. She develops online relationship courses and resources at Love Thinks and manages the blog at www.mylovethinks.com.
This quickie episode answers commonly asked questions about the G-spot. You’ll learn if there really is a spot, how to find yours, and the best ways to stimulate this potential erogenous zone. I also talk about how and why women vary in regards to pleasure experienced with this area, as well as the importance of arousal in the process.
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Wendy Powell, founder of MUTU, joins me for an honest and hopeful conversation about women’s bodies after babies. We talk about sex, exercise, and all the challenges women may face after carrying and birthing a whole human. The truth is that while many physical issues are common, this does not make them normal!We discuss the difference and how you can move toward a healthier body. Whether your baby is 6 weeks old or 16 years old, this episode is for you! You’ll hear real talk, practical advice and encouragement for you and your body.
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Wendy Powell is a globally recognized leader and pioneer in the women’s pelvic health industry. She is the Founder and CEO of MUTU, a medically recommended digital health tech platform for mothers worldwide.
www.mutusystem.com
In this episode, Aurora Allen introduces us to the concept of “Taking our body out for a date." We talk about just how important it is to listen to our bodies. She shares profoundly simple practices to help us move toward more grounded, connected, and embodied lives. If you want to tap into your sensuality, learn how to listen and reconnect to your body, or investigate changing the negative narrative around your body - this nourishing episode is for you.
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Aurora Allen, M.A, RYTP-500, is a somatic and embodiment coach and certified yoga instructor.
www.wellalignedwoman.com
Radicalwellness.co
This is the second episode in our special series where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women have learned about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. Maddie, from London, joins me for a conversation about demisexuality and the importance of not shying away from what makes us different. We also talk about communication, embodiment, and the practice of noticing and valuing your body and how things make you feel physically. This discussion gave me goosebumps, the good kind!
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How do we make good sex … great? Dr. Emily Jamea joins me to talk about specific tools for optimal sexual experiences and what the research shows works! We discuss finding your sexual flow for higher sexual satisfaction, sensuality and eroticism in long term relationships and the importance of curiosity and practice for developing and maintaining a vibrant sex life worth wanting!
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Emily Jamea, PhD, LMFT, LPC is a sex and relationship therapist, researcher, and author. In addition to running her Houston-based private therapy practice, REVIVE therapy & healing, she offers online workshops, conducts academic research on optimal sexual experiences, and serves as an expert speaker for both public and private events.
emilyjamea.com
I am celebrating our growing community with this surprise episode! Yay for 5K downloads! This pleasure exercise will guide you through focused and intentional touch. I hope it’s nourishing for you. Thank you for listening, following and sharing the podcast. Cheers to giving yourself more permission for pleasure!
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What is a sexual script? Simply put, they are guidelines and shoulds that we have taken in, which shape and influence our expectations and behaviors about sex. Aoife Drury, a Dublin psychotherapist, joins me for a conversation about common sexual scripts and how they become woven into our sexuality.
We discuss where they come from, what they sound like in our thoughts and how to rewrite the narrative. As Aoife says, “Recognize that you have a pen, and you write the rest of your book as you see fit.”
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Aoife Drury is an Accredited Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist and is currently carrying out a Doctorate in Psychotherapy. She is passionate about debunking mental health stigmas and creating a safe environment to talk about sexual health challenges.
www.drurytherapy.com
What have you heard about sex and lube? That lube is just for “old ladies?” That “getting wet” is the indicator of arousal and desire? This quickie episode covers the facts about lubrication, female arousal, types of lube and recommendations to try. Learn why couples say adding lube into their sex life is a “Game Changer!”
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Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and receive 15% off with code CINDY
Dr. Uchenna Ossai and I continue our conversation about common myths people believe about sexual health. In part two we discuss simultaneous orgasms with a partner, what low libido is and isn’t, female sexual dysfunction, and pornography. This myth-busters episode offers facts and alternatives to reframe and nourish your healthy sexuality.
www.cindyscharkey.com
Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality educator and counselor. She is assistant professor at the UT Dell Medical School and pelvic health program manager at UT Health Austin.
Youseelogic.com
Visit our episode sponsor COCONU and receive 15% off your order with code Pleasure.
Part 1
Dr. Uchenna Ossai joins me for a thoughtful discussion busting some of the common myths people believe about sexual health. In part one we talk about orgasms, pleasure, foundational sexual beliefs, our mind and sex, and orgasming alone vs partnered. After hearing this episode, one listener said, “This was like a free therapy session - anyone could have some really excellent takeaways from this conversation!”
www.cindyscharkey.com
Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai is a sex-positive pelvic health physical therapist and sexuality educator and counselor. She is assistant professor at the UT Dell Medical School and pelvic health program manager at UT Health Austin.
Youseelogic.com
Visit our episode sponsor COCONU and receive 15% off your order with code Pleasure.
This is a Special Episode, where members of our community share their stories and we explore what women hear about sex, their bodies, and pleasure. Hailey from Pasadena is my first guest and we talk about curiosity, consent, and both the silence and common narratives that many women take in who grow up in a conservative community.
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Dr. Erica Marchand joins me for a conversation about female orgasms and pleasure. Are orgasms a learnable skill? What are the components necessary for orgasm? Do orgasms really look like we see in the media? Dr. Erica and I answer these questions as well as why women fake them, do we need to rank them, and more about the Big O.
www.cindyscharkey.com
Erica Marchand, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in Los Angeles and the creator of the Big O Masterclass, an online course that uses sex therapy principles to help women learn to have orgasms, by themselves or with a partner, from the privacy of home.
Web: hertherapysecrets.com/quiz
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Dr. Heather Jeffcoat joins me for an in depth conversation about all things pelvic health, specifically causes and treatment options for painful sex. You might want to have a pen and paper handy as we cover many topics, including: causes of pain, what pelvic floor physical therapy is and how it can help, dilators, sex & exercise after a baby, and how to do a kegel correctly.
Heather Jeffcoat DPT is the founder of Fusion Wellness & Femina Physical Therapy, and author of Sex Without Pain: A Self Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve.
Receive 20% off a PDF download of Heather’s book at SexWithoutPainBook.com using code PLEASURE20.
Visit our episode sponsor: OHNUT and receive 15% off your order with code CINDY
Painful sex is not normal, yet according to The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 3 out of 4 women do experience pain during intercourse at some point during their lives. This quickie episode covers the 3 key things to consider if you are experiencing painful penetration at any point in your life. Essential education for every woman to know today or for the future.
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Talking about sex with a partner can feel awkward and scary. Shame, fearing rejection and hurt feelings - these can be huge roadblocks to honest communication in this area of a relationship. Meygan Caston, co-founder of Marriage365, joins me for a discussion packed with practical communication tips, ways to break down barriers and conversation starters galore.
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Meygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365.
www.marriage365.com
My discussion with Meygan Caston, co-founder of Marriage365, continues with more tips and prompts for couples learning to talk about sex. In part two we dive into: how to handle when one partner is not in the mood, introducing something new, when one partner is vanilla and the other is 31 flavors, and foreplay with words! Meygan shares her personal vibrator story and offers connecting questions to help get you started with your own healthy conversations.
www.cindyscharkey.comMeygan Caston is the co-founder of Marriage365
www.marriage365.com
This episode gets personal as my oldest daughter interviews me around healthy conversations about sex. We chat about the ways I talked with my own daughters about sexual health, tips for parents, developing your own sexual relationship, and discussion prompts for partners. This intimate interview will offer you some useful tools to start your own healthy conversations.
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If you experience conflict in your relationship over sexual desire, you’re not alone. According to my guest expert, every couple has a difference in sexual desire! Do men and women experience desire differently? Are we really supposed to just feel sexual desire? How can couples work through this issue in a healthy way? This conversation answers these questions and more.
Leslie Gustafson, LMFT, and AASECT CST is a Sex, Women’s & Marriage Master Coach who’s heart and mission is to “Unleash Women & Couples into Empowered Lives, Lasting Love and Amazing Intimacy.” She provides personal coaching through her transformational programs -Get Your Dream Marriage and Amazing You! Women’s Program. Host of The Smart Sex Podcast, you can find her on IG @LeslieGustafson1
The truth about desire is that there is more than one way to experience it. Sexual desire works a lot like curiosity. Think of it like this: What has to happen for you to be motivated to have sex? Learn about the different desire styles, and why it’s normal for you and a partner to experience desire differently.
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Dr. Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate, joins Cindy for a discussion about female pleasure, cliteracy and the orgasm gap. Why are women having fewer orgasms than men? What do women really need to experience more pleasure? This conversation provides the education and tools to get you started on the journey to orgasm equality.
Dr. Mintz is a feminist professor, author, speaker and therapist. You can learn more about her at www.drlauriemintz.com, or watch her TEDx talk, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It.
Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN walks you through the amazing anatomy of the clitoris. There is so much more than you can see on the surface. Learn about the 6,000 to 8,000 nerve endings, all the erectile tissue, and why female arousal takes more than 5 minutes. The truth about the clitoris? It is a whole network... and the key to female pleasure.
Cindy’s website www.cindyscharkey.com.
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A podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 30+ years of experience as a health-care professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure.
Visit www.cindyscharkey.com for education blogs and newsletter.