Answer Me This! Podcast: Recent Episodes
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If your neighbours want to set up a catering business but you don’t want them to waste their money because think their food is sludge, can you stop them? Should you stop them? We face this question along with other matters, including:
taking butter from a cafe
Popes learning Italian
Danish wedding traditions
morning suits
“pip… pip… pip… pip… pip… piiiiippppp” on the radio
“young, dumb and full of cum” in Point Break
David Bowie emerging from a church wall
and
dropping your phone into a toilet at a festival.
Become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis to help with the continuing existence of AMT, and to get an ad-free version of the episode, plus bonus cuts from the show, AND you get our new Entertainment Experience: Petty Problems, a live YouTube version of the show where we are only answering questions that are trivial, unserious, minor. And the best part is, because it’s live, and you can hang out in the sidebar chat, you can weigh in on the problems in real time – and if it’s your Petty Problem, give us instant feedback. It’s going to be fun! The first edition will be 10pm UK time on Sunday 15th June, so go go go to patreon.com/answermethis to sign up so you can attend, and pose us a petty problem.
Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you.
Next episode will land in your podfeed 26 June 2025.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
Check out our other work:Olly has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com.
Helen‘s entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, returns in early May with a season about four-letter words; she and Martin are also doing live shows in Toronto on 1 June and Montréal on 9 June, get tickets via theallusionist.org/events.
Martin‘s other sounds include songs, available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his completed Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.
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It’s one of those fantasy questions that gets batted around when “Who would you want at your fantasy dinner party?” has been wrung dry: what would you spend the money on if you won the lottery? Except one questioneer has actually done it, and now they need to figure out what to spend the money on in a way that doesn’t tip anyone off that they won the lottery. What would you do? Tell us in the comments!
We also contemplate:
listener Rob’s amazing balloon art!
Huey Lewis and the ~~News~~ Huey Lewis Choristers karaoke
kissing trophies
travelling with pole vault poles
pretzel symbolism
Biscoff spread
toe socks
and
what to do with your late husband’s underpants.
Plus: Olly will not taking up hands-based hobbies, Helen talks about the not-good film Duets AGAIN (hear her discuss it on Pop This! podcast), and Martin the Sound Man could easily spend a lottery win on custom guitars.
Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next episode will land in your podfeed 29 May 2025.
Become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis to help with the continuing existence of AMT, and to get an ad-free version of the episode, plus bonus material. What a great way to dispose of your lottery winnings, too!
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
Check out our other work:Olly has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com.
Helen‘s entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, returns in early May with a season about four-letter words; she and Martin are also doing live shows in Toronto on 1 June and Montréal on 9 June, get tickets via theallusionist.org/events.
Martin‘s other sounds include songs, available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his completed Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.
LISTEN: Apple • Spotify • PocketCasts • MP3 • Overcast • YouTube • Amazon Music • SoundCloud
In AMT404, listeners want to know where to go to see the northern lights, why Jesus’s official birthday and deathday aren’t on the same calendar, and who is being weird: them, or their family? We also learn about:
sand heists
leaving your body to ~~science~~Disneyland
the ~~perfect beach~~carpet of fish blood
werewolf menstruation
Apple Tango
404 codes
opening coconuts
cooking with mayonnaise
Nicky Pluff the doll’s eye polisher
and
bat-flavoured beverages.
And a question for you to answer in the comments: what would you write in a note to the medical students dissecting your body after you left it to science?
Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next episode will land in your podfeed 1 May 2025.
Become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis to help with the continuing resuscitation of AMT, and to get an ad-free version of the episode, plus bonus material.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
Check out our other work:Olly has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com.
Helen‘s entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, is on a break until early May but there’s a ten-year archive which you can find at the podplaces and at theallusionist.org – including the Bufflusionist episode about Buffy the Vampire Slayer language.
Martin‘s other sounds include songs, available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his completed Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.
LISTEN: Apple • Spotify • PocketCasts • MP3 • Overcast • YouTube • Amazon Music • SoundCloud
We’ve been making this show for a long time. We have had SO many questions about weddings. And yet, in AMT403, we get a whole fresh spin on the Wedding WTFery genre of question. We also discuss:
understudies’ pay
the least worst cruise ships
popcorn
wet crunch vs dry crunch
vertigo/acrophobia/illyngophobia
loud cinema snacks
posthumous shed clearance
and
Toby Carvery.
Plus: Olly wants neither moist feet nor minty balls, Helen doesn’t want the royal family to inherit her stuff when she dies, and Martin the Sound Man is unwilling to pound you to death on an ice rink, sorry. No, not in either sense of ‘pound’ as a verb.
Also: which retired or deceased artist would you want one more album/book/film/etc from? Tell us in the comments.
Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. New episodes will appear on the last Thursday of the month, so return to us on 27 March 2025.
Become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis to help with the resuscitation of AMT, and to get bonus material.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
Check out our other work:Olly has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com.
Helen is on a break from the The Allusionist, her entertainment podcast about language, but there’s a ten-year archive which you can find at the podplaces and at theallusionist.org – including this episode about roller derby names.
Martin‘s other sounds include songs, available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.
LISTEN: Apple • Spotify • PocketCasts • MP3 • Overcast • YouTube • SoundCloud
Can you bloody well believe it? New AMT in your ears in the year 2025?? Well, it’s real! In AMT402, we discuss:
roller derby names
~~pirate ships~~ tall ships
art that is EVEN BETTER IRL than it is printed on the tea towels in the gallery gift shop
beach powder
negging/sycophantic book dedications
ear protectors for dogs
Branston Pickle
Loyd Grossman biopic WHEN
the Baked Bean Museum of Excellence
and
the medical dangers of bagpipes.
Thanks to all of you who submitted questions! To supply one for upcoming episodes, send them in writing or voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. New episodes will appear on the last Thursday of the month, so check back in with us on 27 February 2025.
You know who will be hearing from us well before then, though? Our sweet patrons. You already are one? Great job, you! Prepare yourself for some bonus material. Want to become one? Join at patreon.com/answermethis.
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace. To build an online home for your side hustle, or front hustle, or underhustle, go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.
Hear our other work:Olly has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com.
Helen is on a break from the The Allusionist, her entertainment podcast about language, but there’s a ten-year archive which you can find at the podplaces and at theallusionist.org – including this episode about roller derby names.
Martin‘s other sounds include songs, available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.
Happy birthday to AMT, turning 18 years old today! Which means our baby is now an adult, and we are celebrating by….
BRINGING THE PODCAST BACK!
Hear all about it (and/or there’s a transcript is at the bottom of this post):
We’re going to try it out with new monthly episodes on the last Thursday of the month, for the next three months. So the show will return with AMT402 on 30 January 2025, 403 on 27 February, 404 on 27 March…
And after that? Well, if we’re enjoying it, and you’re enjoying it, we hope to continue. We need your help, though, in the following three ways:
- Send us your questions. This podcast depends on them! Send them in writing or as a voice note to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com – ideally including the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. As always, your questions can be about all sorts of things: pop culture, history, moral dilemmas, romance, workplace feuds, etiquette, myths, whatever is causing your brow to furrow.
Also, if you want to fill us in on how you are and what’s been happening in your life in our absence, please do. 2. a) Tell people the show is back. Social media? Great! Old media? Fantastic. Writing it across your face and running around the supermarket? Could work. We’d love for listeners old and new to hear that AMT is returning.
b) Resubscribe in your podcast app. And set to auto-download new episodes while you’re there. Nowadays a lot of the podcast-listening apps will stop updating you with new episodes if you haven’t recently listened to one. Don’t let ’em! 3. Fund the show at patreon.com/answermethis. Your contributions will help keep it going. And we have some sweet extra perks for you coming up just as soon as the show is up and running again.
That’s all our demands! For now. We’re excited to answer your questions again, and to witter in your ears while you commute or work out or do the gardening or nurse the baby or fall asleep.
H&O
Transcript:
Olly: Happy birthday, Helen.
Helen: Happy Birthday, Olly – or happy birthday to our child, Answer Me This, turning 18 today!
Olly: It is the 18th birthday of the show, which means the show can get married without parental permission, it can pawn its own furniture, and it can legally buy pornography.
Helen: At last!
Olly: It may no longer be covered on family travel insurance, you have to check that out.
Helen: But it’s a podcast, so you don’t have to worry about it.
Olly: In terms of being 18: because the show was first released on January 2nd 2007. I was only seven years older than 18 myself. And now I’m seven years away from being 50.
Helen: Ah, the passage of time: unstoppable, and yet will we get used to it? Absolutely not.
Olly: Horrendous. I know some of you will be excited just to be seeing and hearing from us. So you’ll have one question in mind already, which is: “Is Answer Me This coming back? Oh my God, is Answer Me This coming back? Argh! It’s 2025, is Answer Me This coming back? And the answer to that is: Yes. What we’ve decided to do is three brand new episodes of Answer Me This.
Helen: The last Thursday of the month is the new Answer Me This day.
Olly: Our 402nd canonical episode will be ready for you on Thursday 30th January.
Helen: Why are we doing this, Olly? Why now? For me, it’s because in the autumn of 2024, I was on tour with The Allusionist around Britain. And I encountered a lot of people who say, “Oh, I really miss Answer Me This, and it got me through a really difficult time in my life, and politics is scaring me, and I’ve redownloaded it.” I saw a friend called Nikesh, who I knew because he had been an Answer Me This listener, then we got to know each other in real life, and he said, “I’m still not satisfied with the answer you gave to my question.”
Olly: What was the question?
Helen: The question was: “What does Lucozade taste of?”
Olly: Oh, right. Okay. Did we not give a firm answer?
Helen: Just glucose with unidentified artificial fruit? Not good enough for him.
Olly: Right, okay. Yeah, it’s just sort of fizzy orange and sugar, isn’t it?
Helen: Not good enough for him, Olly. Not good enough. And I thought, we’ve got to come back and fix it.”
Olly: That’s the quest!
Helen: We’ve got to get our best lab technicians on this. I often think of a Disney question and think, Oh, where’s Olly Mann when I need him? Just this morning as I was brushing my teeth, I thought: where is Cruella de Vil’s wealth from?
Olly: I imagine that would be in the novel, not in the film, right?
Helen: Hmm, okay.
Olly: Like, because the book’s quite old. I reckon there were probably pages on Cruella de Vil’s inherited wealth that Disney rightfully were like, kids don’t care. Kids don’t care. Kids don’t ask questions. We did an episode of Today in History with the Retrospectors about Sesame Street, and it’s the thing of when they first piloted it, they weren’t sure whether the Muppets and the humans should interact, because kids would ask, “Why is there a giant bird but a small human? But Bert and Ernie are human, but they’re smaller than the humans?” And it’s like, no they won’t, because kids don’t think like that. It’s funny, isn’t it? Because the stereotype is that children ask questions all day long. But actually, when you think how many things they could be bamboozled by, there’s so much they simply are not curious about.
Helen: Yeah, they’re like, “No, I take for granted that humans and puppets interact at all scales, but: what is wind?” And then you’re like, what is wind? Oh no! I know nothing!
Olly: Anyway! You will recall that the format is you can ask us anything so long as your email or voice note ends with the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”. It can be a personal dilemma. It can be a matter of the heart. It can be about best practice, or etiquette….
Helen: Yeah – pop culture, history…
Olly: …Trivia, myth busting…
Helen: Logistics…
Olly: So here’s how you submit questions, just in case you’ve forgotten, send your voice memos or your emails to answer me this podcast at
Helen: googlemail. com. That’s the 2007 creeping in. Gmail works as well, I think. Gmail will reach us.
Olly: It will reach us, but we’re not going to change it because we wrote the jingles in 2007.
Helen: We love it when you send questions in your voice. So just record a voice note and attach it to an email.
Olly: And let us know what’s happening in your lives as well.
Olly: Like, it’s not just about questions, is it? We want feedback, particularly Dave from Smethwick. If you’ll ever answer our call to return, please
Helen: Yeah. Matthew Seymour from Colchester: what’s he doing, what’s he been thinking, in the last 15 plus years?
Olly: But after we’ve done these three once a month episodes, will we continue after?
Helen: It’s a pilot a scheme, of sorts.
Olly: Exactly. It’s genuinely a case of whether we’re enjoying it again and whether you guys are enjoying it again.
Helen: And if all the questions have been answered – it’s possible.
Olly: Do you think we might complete all questions? It’s not happened to Question Time, so I think we’re probably okay.
Helen: I bet they’re recycling, which we try to avoid to do, although there was that time when we did that “what’s the little pocket in jeans for?” more than once.
Olly: Yeah, we did that twice. In terms of playing your part to making sure that this continues longer than the three episodes, I mean obviously if we don’t enjoy it, then we’ll stop and there’s nothing you can do about it, but in terms of your part: what you can do is tell your friends, if you’re excited that Answer Me This is back, get on social media and tell your friends.
Helen: Tell everyone you know; tell strangers in the street; run around like you’re in It’s a Wonderful Life, “Answer Me This is back!”
Olly: And then of course, there’s sending us some money. This is our way really of testing whether this is going to be like the Oasis reunion or like when some people who were once in Atomic Kitten reformed to play in the student union. We don’t know which is going to be –
Helen: Atomic Kitten! I’d watch Atomic Kitten.
Olly: Would you pay $5 a month? It’s the crucial question.
Helen: Er… No. But if I was in that student union, I wouldn’t pay five dollars to leave. I’d stand around and watch Atomic Kitten.
Olly: It’s just hard to know where we’ll fall between those two stools. There’s only one way to find out, and that is by you guys, if you’re excited, going to patreon.com/answermethis. There is only one tier at the moment, and it promises you nothing in return. At the moment, we just want to see if people would be prepared to support us for $5 per month, because if enough people do, then obviously we can actually justify doing this on financial grounds.
Helen: And if enough of you do chip in, then you will get some extra shit.
Olly: Yeah, there’ll be something.
Helen: Oh yeah.
Olly: patreon.com/answermethis. And another thing that’s very important that you need to do right now is follow the podcast again in your app of choice. Some of you are listening to this on the podcast feed. So you’ve done that already. Well done. Congratulations. You still need to go to your podcast app and press follow like the old days. Otherwise, you might not get our return.
Helen: Yes, it’s quite possible that the podcast app has kicked off your subscription, even if you left it there as a relic of the good times.
Olly: It kicked me off. I am not subscribed to our show anymore. I just checked.
Helen: Oh, so cold.
Olly: So resubscribe.
Helen: Yes. And then meet us back at AnswerMeThisPodcast.com because if you need ways of listening, it’s always there as well as in the pod apps.
Olly: Martin the sound bag – Martin the sound bag, Martin the sound man – he’ll come back as well.
Helen: Yeah, if the money’s right, he’ll deign to join us.
Olly: That’s why the $5 per month has been set. Minimum five grand to get Martin back on board. Good. Okay. Right. So circle that date in your Filofaxes, everybody. Thursday 30th January for more Answer Me This.
Helen: more Answer Me This, what a blessing. And it’s lovely to see you again, Olly. I’ve missed this, I’ve missed answering the questions, I’ve missed the listeners. Ahhh.
Olly: Happy new year.
Helen: Happy new year!
https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/answermethis/Answer_Me_This_episode_401.mp3LISTEN: Apple • Soundcloud • Spotify • Google Podcasts • PocketCasts • MP3 • Overcast •
Welcome back AMT for one special new episode! So much has changed since we retired nearly two years ago, but what remains is our desire to answer YOUR QUESTIONS. Thanks so much for sending them, we loved hearing from you again.
In AMT401/season 2 episode 1, we answer about:
working somewhere world-famous
couples competing for pork
the Whittlesea Straw Bear Festival
‘detestable’ birds
rock badgers
award-winning kebab vans
Four Loko
hoedowns
buying one banana
looking at your own semen under a microscope
and
Danielle Steel’s desk.
Content notes/child-friendly ratings: discussion of alcoholic drinks with mention of drunkenness. A handful of swears. A question at the end about looking at your own sperm through microscopes.
Hear our other work:Olly Mann has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com. H
Helen Zaltzman makes the The Allusionist, an entertainment podcast about language, which you can find at the podplaces and at theallusionist.org.
Martin Austwick’s music is available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.
This episode is sponsored by:
• Wondrium, the streaming library of tutorials, lectures, documentaries, how-to videos, travel, craft and much more! AMT listeners get a month of free access to the whole library at wondrium.com/answer.
• Squarespace. Want to build a website? Go to squarespace.com/answer, and get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ‘ANSWER’.
We don’t know whether/when we will pop up in your feed again, so stay subscribed! And follow us on facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/helenandolly.
Helen & Olly
https://podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/traffic.libsyn.com/answermethis/AMT401_teaser.mp3We’re coming out of retirement for one last job.
There’ll be a new episode in your podfeed on the first Thursday of April, ie 6th April 2023, and for it, we need YOUR QUESTIONS.
You remember the procedure: send your queries to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com in written or voicenote form. Your deadline is 13 March.
Do it, because you never know how long it’ll be before we unretire again!
Your gone but not forgotten friends,
Helen and Olly
Well this is it, listeners. After 14 years and 8 months and many thousands of questions, AMT400 is the last episode of the show. Sob!! But we’re surfing out of here on a wave of your lovely, lovely messages – as well as a British Podcast Award for hanging in there for so damn long […]
For our very last retro AMT, we returned to a favourite from December 2011: AMT200, where we enlisted our families to answer your questions. And here they are, in their 2011 forms! There was also a bumper app extra which, for your convenience, is embedded below. FYI we have not listened back to it, so […]
It’s Answer Me This Episode 399 which means next episode will be Answer Me This Episode 400, so we not only want your QUESTIONS, we want you to send us your AMT memories. Did our answers to your questions helped or hurt your life? Did you made any friends through the podcast? Did you start […]
We’re settling a lot of couples’ disputes in Answer Me This Episode 398. Who’s from the biggest village? Potato in tacos: Y/N? Did all animation used to be worse, or specifically just in Disney’s straight to video sequels? Prepare yourself for: biggest village by area vs biggest village by population ramen tacos vs gums Return […]
…for Tedious But Fine reasons, we’ve swapped June’s new episode and the retro one. So you’ll get an all-new AMT in a fortnight, but now there’s Retro AMT82 from 2009 and it’s a really fun one! Some things have changed – technology, the nature of entrepreneurship, people wearing Bluetooth earpieces everywhere – whereas others are […]
Answer Me This Episode 397 is an unofficial animals special! We’ve got: meerkats dog mayors goat mayors crawfish presidential candidates and albatrosses around your neck And also: coffee berries hot-but-not-boiling water caffeine twitches playing presidents your friends mocking you for being a penny-pincher and Mary Shelley having sex on her mother’s grave. And if one […]
Welcome to Answer Me This Episode 396! Nearly 400 episodes in and several thousand questions answered, and you’re still sending us ones we have never covered before. In today’s episode, “Do voodoo dolls work, and specifically, did mine work too well?” Plus: Calvin Klein’s Obsession for lions vegan black pudding dijonnaise snooping houseguests The Addams […]
Put your arm out, palms up, now touch your biceps, cradle the back of your head, hand on hip, other hand on other hip, pat each buttock and JUMP because yes, in Answer Me This Episode 395, we’re learning about the Macarena dance! As well as: luxury car raffles at airports pompoms on hats Rita […]
In Answer Me This Episode 394, listeners are struggling with questions about: catnip for lions the humerus/funny bone/ulnar nerve/little Jew Fabergé eggs all the cool stuff that used to be on Woodhouse Moor Gallifreyian garden features treadmills in shoe shops X-rays in shoe shops your own children’s mediocrity and genies’ feet. In today’s Bonus Bit of […]
Greetings listeners, and thanks for joining us in 2021. Here’s Answer Me This Episode 393, featuring vital questions about: spinach and ricotta pasta Pringles-induced sweat cocktail, performative preparation thereof cocktail, prawn (crisps flavour) walking the plank glow sticks smelling salts and Ronald Raven. Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for Apple […]
Jingle those bells, it’s festive Answer Me This episode 392, and, as the episode contains Jesus porn, Christmas parental deceit/logistics, and swears, we’re just going to put this right here: AMT392 Child-Friendly Rating: 1%. Today’s inquiries include: The Elf on the Shelf™ Christmas decorations made out of hospital supplies the White House turkey pardon swanky […]
Content warning: animal cruelty. In Answer Me This episode 391, we hear about eviscerated rabbits, I’m A Celebrity food-kills, and a zoo in a deadly stunt. But there’s some mysterious dog magic to compensate. We also consider: the history of video phones the baby in Labyrinth fiction you didn’t realise was science fiction ‘free’ apples […]
Pop in your prosthetic fangs, spritz yourself with fake blood and turn off all the lights except for that annoying one that flickers – it’s the Answer Me This Halloween Special! (Known by day as AMT390.) Featuring SCARY plays, GIANT gourds, MONSTER Mash and BESHAT trousers. And also: pumpkin boats SPAM® suits sexy Halloween costumes […]
Straight back in with the pizza issues after last month’s pizza-cutting questions, Answer Me This! Episode 389 considers: pizza scissors banana pizza banana curry watermelon rind state-run casinos Monaco bin collection speaking through a mask sewing machines ‘Band on the Run’ snazzing up a small dorm room and a skyscraper full of penthouses. Today’s Bonus […]
Escape from the significant problems of the world with Answer Me This! Episode 388‘s parade of ultra-low-stakes problems about such things as: knock knock jokes lolly stick jokes Fab lollies vs Zoom lollies cutting pizzas the Pooseum lawns the house in the middle of the M62 avuncular Instagram etiquette and the back end of a […]
At last, the AMT animal nipples special! How many do bears have? How long are an opossum’s? Where do solenodons keep theirs? Did you already learn all this from David Attenborough?? If not, you will in Answer Me This! Episode 387, along with information about: salmon vending machines amnesia etiquette Easy-Bake Ovens American flapjacks British […]
Beloved listeners: as we’ve said in the past, AMT doesn’t tend to discuss current events, as we know a lot of you turn to the show to give yourselves a brief break from dealing with reality. We hope you’re holding up and finding ways to be productive. Meanwhile, here’s Answer Me This! Episode 386, a […]
We made a new album!! Like our previous albums – AMT Jubilee, Sports Day, Holiday, Love and Christmas – AMT Home Entertainment is an hourish of all-new AMT material that has never been on the podcast. All the questions are about how you might homelily entertain yourself, with telly, music, films, food and some YouTube […]
Glad to tell you that following on from last episode’s toaster problem, another listener writes that they have actually MET some of the toasters, proving that all of you AMT listeners are connected. And have been everywhere and seen everything. Answer Me This! Episode 385 also contains: Gloria Hunniford Tetris lamps the price of lava […]
Welcome! We hope you’re doing OK. We’re keeping AMT a pandemic-free pod, so if you’re looking for content to take your mind off things for a bit, Answer Me This! Episode 384 can provide, with topics such as: shitty spinach Tamworth (again) speaking slower ghostwriters badger repellent young person repellent leopard print lion poo that […]
Filled with lights, portraits, seaside photo boards and, er, dead bodies on display, Answer Me This! Episode 383 is a very visual episode. Of audio. Rifle through your mental Google Images as you hear about topics including: BOB the Box of Bibles missing cats not-missing cats warring cats posthumous pants Las Vegas lights comic foregrounds/face-in-hole […]
We love to hear back from questioneers we have answered in previous episodes, so what a treat to receive a new problem from Andrew from Melbourne, whose mother’s creepy collection of dolls popped up in AMTs 360 and 361! Hear his new difficulty in Answer Me This! Episode 382, as well as: hotel bed stains […]
Happy thirteenth birthday to this show! But it’s question-answering business as usual in Answer Me This! Episode 381, with problems including: public nudity laws lost/stolen jewels friendly grinding death in Thomas the Tank Engine casserole in your pubes museum lasers dry ice slapstick trains’ souls your naked dad the true meaning of Frubes and eggy […]
Well Spotify just named AMT one of the top podcasts of the decade, so let’s conclude the 2010s as we began them: by answering your questions! Answer Me This! Episode 380 features a feast of such festive treats as: candy canes boarding school pranks turkey trends Christmas Day in London artificial Christmas trees vs toilet […]
After last month’s consideration of the ‘As I Was Going To St Ives’ maths riddle, we receive clarification from the actual Mayor of St Ives! Well, the mayor of a St Ives, Olly still disputes that it’s the St Ives. Also in Answer Me This! Episode 379, we deal with topics including: fly killing spider […]
As you were going to St Ives, did you meet a man with seven wives + 7x7x7 cats coming FROM St Ives or did you catch up with them as they were also heading TO St Ives? Ugh! Fucking riddles! We face this beast in Answer Me This! Episode 378 plus problems with: Blue Peter […]
In Answer Me This! Episode 377, we go looking for jokes in the Bible. It’s…a mixed bag. Plus, these informative amusements: bull and bear Quality Street vs Quality Street job applications vs typos the Old Testament vs Wes Anderson secret Jesus vs secret Adele drying your hands macaque fossils in NORFOLK musical morse code clues […]
What do we learn about in Answer Me This! Episode 376 dit dit dah dah dit dit We learn about Morse code! As well as: swears in films the macaques of Gibraltar Minerva in utero Olly’s new button jar visible mending Scampi Fries the Tanganyika Groundnut Scheme sunning your bare torso in your neighbours’ eyeline […]
Brace yourselves to witness a crushing defeat: in Answer Me This! Episode 375, Helen is stumped by a question. What could be the topic to outwit her and her googling powers? Must be something pretty major, right? Riiight. We also consider: microwaveable eggs benedict spaghetti bolognese crisps online scratchcards political pincushions lucky tomatoes Sherlock Holmes’s […]
Greetings, listeners! If you’ve ever wondered how jellyfish eat, shit and fuck, we’ve taken the hit to our search histories to illuminate you in Answer Me This! Episode 374. We also discuss: microwave cookery confirmation of the Buckingham Palace in-house (in-palace?) cinema post-chemo hairdos Eddie Izzard vs Gerard Butler many Michaels green screens vs blue […]
Fire up Answer Me This! Episode 373 and travel round the world on the wings of George Ezra lyrics and/or an evil sled, via the following: Montjuïc in Barcelona Olly’s Happy Fork Helen’s sentient bed the Queen’s en suite cinema (and post office, and operating theatre) Slendertone the new Narnia novel? The Magician’s Nephew vs […]
Whatever happened to aerobics on morning telly, the corpse of Henry VIII, and cummerbunds? In Answer Me This! Episode 372, we crack these mysteries and more, including: the Pete Best of the Spice Girls the Magic Castle dress code fish death taxi radio Mr Motivator ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ at the football Man of La […]
In Answer Me This! Episode 371 we learn about letting a cat out of the bag and getting a peacock INTO the bag. Both sound very painful. We also consider: letting wine breathe Gladiators vs dystopias ‘Go West‘ vs ‘Give Thanks‘ vs Pachelbel’s ‘Canon in D Major‘ America’s Next Top Ninja (and before you tell […]
Happy National Bagel Day Eve Eve! How are you planning to celebrate? By covering yourself in seeds and filling yourself with cream cheese? Probably just a normal day for you. Anyway, get into the NBD mood by listening to Answer Me This! Episode 370, wherein we discuss: Escape to the Country International Men’s Day Areas […]
Happy new year to you, listeners! To kick off 2019, here’s Answer Me This! Episode 369, wherein we discuss: New Year’s resolutions/failure thereof a lovelorn lottery-winning listener the Queen’s Christmas speeches vs AMT jingles gilets vs hooded bush vests butcher vs baker vs candlestick-maker noisy toys the Roman god Janus Samantha Janus mayonnaise at McDonald’s […]
After much speculation about the owners of the legs in The Bill in AMT366, and then MORE speculation in AMT367, in Answer Me This! Episode 368 we can at last consider the mystery SOLVED! As solved as if Hercule Poirot himself had gathered us all in the drawing room and explained every detail from knee […]
After much speculation in AMT366, striding through Answer Me This! Episode 367 are the true owners of The Bill legs! Or are they? Which is to be trusted – IMDB or a school rumour? We also speak of: one billion IKEA meatballs Ryvita wheels Busch Gardens, Tampa “I’m walking here!” the Jerky Boys vs the […]
Landlord trouble! We’ve all had it, right? But have you ever had it as bad as the questioneer in Answer Me This! Episode 366? We also chat about: hand models leg models doppelgangers the shins closing The Bill Land of the Rising Sun House of the Rising Sun being square LASIK passion fruit nailed to […]
It’s back to school season, but at AMT the edutainment is year-round. Get your learning on in Answer Me This! Episode 365, wherein we find out about: Dyson hairdryers vs Duck’n’Dry ‘Sweet Caroline’ (ba ba BAAA) shoutability cubits gopher wood the List of Unusual Deaths Bible minigolf the replacement Avril Lavigne vanilla pods vs beaver […]
Apologies for the unscheduled absence of a fresh episode in July, listeners: Helen’s neck had other plans for the past few weeks. But hooray, Helen is out of hospital and all new Answer Me This! Episode 364 is here! WARNING: there’s a bit of Medical Stuff in the first few minutes of this episode, so […]
Have you been collecting your own hair since your bushy-headed youth, in order to make a wig* to wear during your sparsely furred later years? If so, could you let questioneer Ryan know asap if that was a good plan or not? Find out why in Answer Me This! Episode 363, in which we also […]
Hello pets! This month is the British Podcast Awards, and you can vote for AMT in the Listeners’ Choice category, you know, if you choose to. Click here to do it. If you need to remember why you love us, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 362. Today we consider: Meghan Markle’s citizenship post-marriage My […]
With a spring in your step and a scent in your nostrils and a freshly cleaned undercarriage and Answer Me This! Episode 361 in your ears, join us to consider: Smell-O-Vision reclaiming skipping for the adult man museum buddies the Dalí museum bidet chat baby equipment the perfect baby bottle warmer getting aboard Michael Palin […]
Wow. It took more than eleven years and 360 episodes, but it has at last happened: Our first ever question about the Bowling for Soup. (Who? (No, that’s not the actual question.)) Try to contain yourselves on this landmark occasion as you listen to Answer Me This! Episode 360, in which we also learn about: […]
Upon the last Winter Olympics in 2014, we fair shat ourselves with surprise and delight when Lizzy Yarnold, who won gold for Team GB in the skeleton, listens to AMT! She’s competing again this time, so GOOD LUCK, Lizzy. Do it for all of us who get most of our exercise running for the ice […]
It’s AMT’s 11th birthday! To celebrate, we can’t replicate how Olly spent his own 11th birthday, at Cody’s Tex-Mex restaurant in Stevenage, because it closed down. So instead we’ve made some mild-to-moderate life changes – hear all about them Answer Me This! Episode 358, in which we also consider: Nicole Scherzinger’s rancid yoghurt-nose chutney WHY […]
Where does all the money go from the Band Aid song? When you’re someone’s house guest, how long before you can have a wank? And what’s a penguin doing in a nativity scene? The answers to all these mysteries are in Answer Me This! Episode 357, as well as: Twitter verification ass breath ‘Jingle Bell […]
A questioneer today is in quite the state of consternation after clicking on the link to a friend’s wedding list…and finding a dazzling array of Adult Pleasure Implements. And we’re not talking golf clubs or top-of-the-range espresso machines here. Discover what in Answer Me This! Episode 356, in which we also learn about: banting political […]
What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever found in your food? A worm? A lung? Arsenic-laced hundreds and thousands? Gird your stomach for Answer Me This! Episode 355, in which we discuss: food hygiene ratings pig nipple bacon Stanley Mann style dating your dadalike shipping it Larry Stylinson stans stoners Agatha Christie’s cornflour store detectives and […]
There’s MAGIC! all over Answer Me This! Episode 354: how to MAGICALLY transform a banana into a sliced banana, how to MAGICALLY turn an egg into an egg IN A BOTTLE, and how to MAGICALLY turn an adolescent boy into a hit with the ladies. We also learn about: sugar nips (not a Mel Gibson […]