Heal from Infidelity

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In this powerful episode, we welcome Alysha Lee, who shares her intense journey of leaving an abusive relationship. Alysha opens up about her experiences, the challenges she faced, and how she ultimately reclaimed her life. This episode is a beacon of hope for those who may find themselves in similar situations, offering insights into healing and the courage to seek a better future.

Key Takeaways:

Alysha's early experiences and the red flags she overlooked.
The emotional and spiritual manipulation she endured.
The pivotal moment when Alysha decided to break free.
The healing process and the role of therapy in her recovery.
Alysha's journey to writing her memoir and helping others.

About Alysha

Alysha currently lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado, with her husband and three daughters. She hopes readers who have experienced domestic abuse or similar trauma will be inspired by her story to share their stories and find the support and healing they need.

Book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Everything-I-Might-Have-Missed/dp/B0DSTD4GWY/
Book on Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/everything-i-might-have-missed-alysha-tatiana-lee/1146710795
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/roses.and.reading/

More from me:

Sign up for the "Heal on the Go - Audio Membership" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/9tSEsULS
Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability.

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, I explore the concept of being 'all in' on a relationship and talk about the importance of commitment, understanding deal breakers, and establishing rules of engagement. I highlight the significance of truth-telling, emotional maturity, and personal accountability in fostering a healthy relationship.

Key Takeaways:

Being all in means commitment with your eyes wide open.
It's important to know your deal breakers in a relationship.
Rules of engagement help protect both partners during conflicts.
Truth telling is an act of love and should be practiced.
You are responsible for your own emotional maturity and growth.
Being a lighthouse means guiding your partner without carrying their burdens.
Repairing relationships involves recognizing the impact of your actions.
Shared growth is essential for a thriving relationship.
You cannot control your partner's actions, only your own.
Choosing yourself is crucial in the journey of healing.

More from me:

June Virtual Retreat: All In with Andrea Giles: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/7u3FE2aL/checkout
Sign up for the "Heal on the Go - Audio Membership" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/9tSEsULS
Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability.

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode we'll discuss the concept of relational bypassing, a pattern where individuals avoid emotional pain in relationships, particularly after infidelity. This behavior can hinder intimacy and healing, so there is a real importance of emotional presence and truth in rebuilding the trust.

Key Takeaways:

Relational bypassing can kill intimacy in relationships.
Fixing without hearing leads to disconnection.
Emotional shortcutting delays healing.
What we resist stays stuck; what we feel can move.
Both partners in infidelity need to process their emotions.
Avoidance strategies prevent real connection.
Emotional presence is crucial for rebuilding trust.
Truth must come from a real place for healing.
Controlling the narrative can be a form of bypassing.
Choosing connection over comfort fosters intimacy.

More from me:

Sign up for the "Heal on the Go - Audio Membership" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/9tSEsULS
Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability.

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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What does it mean to be "all in" on yourself, especially in the context of healing from infidelity? We'll talk about the importance of self-commitment and internal stability before you can fully engage in relationships.

Key Takeaways:

Going all in means committing to yourself first.
You cannot be all in on a relationship without being all in on yourself.
Internal stability is crucial for healthy relationships.
Overriding your feelings leads to losing your peace.
Being all in does not mean over-functioning for others.
Recognizing when you're half in and half out is important.
Your healing should not depend on someone else's actions.
Building a sustainable foundation takes time and effort.
Choosing yourself changes everything in your life.
The upcoming virtual retreat will help you create your all-in plan.

More from me:

Sign up for the "Heal on the Go - Audio Membership" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/9tSEsULS
Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability.

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Majo Torreli, a somatic coach who helps women break unhealthy relationship patterns and cultivate self-love, shares her personal journey of healing from emotionally abusive relationships and the transformative power of somatic coaching.

Key Takeaways:

Majo Torreli is a somatic coach helping women heal from unhealthy relationship patterns.
Her personal journey involved overcoming emotionally abusive relationships.
Somatic coaching helped her achieve what years of therapy could not.
Feeling safe in one's body is crucial for emotional healing.
Intellectual understanding of self-worth is different from experiencing it emotionally.
Forgiveness requires processing and releasing trapped energy.
Women often need to create safety within themselves after betrayal.
Trusting intuition takes time and requires emotional digestion.
Taking accountability for relationship patterns is essential for growth.
Healing is a gradual process that requires self-compassion.

Majo is a somatic coach who helps women break out of painful relationship patterns by reconnecting with their bodies. After more than a decade stuck in unhealthy cycles, anxiety, and self-doubt in love—despite doing “all the right things”—she finally broke free and found lasting self-love through somatic (body-based) coaching. Today, she guides other women through the same journey—helping them cultivate inner peace, confidence, and love they can feel in their bones, not just in their heads.

To learn more from Majo:

Website: https://www.shesembodied.com/
Instagram: @shesembodied

More from me:

Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability.

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode we'll explore the critical distinction between manipulation and influence, particularly in the context of relationships affected by infidelity. We'll emphasize the importance of understanding these dynamics to foster healthier interactions and personal growth. The discussion covers how manipulation often stems from fear and self-serving motives, while influence is rooted in strength, clarity, and a desire for collective betterment.

Key Takeaways:

Understanding the difference between manipulation and influence is crucial after infidelity.
Manipulation often arises from fear and self-serving motives.
Influence is about seeking the betterment of everyone involved.
Recognizing patterns of manipulation can help break the cycle of unhealthy behaviors.
Effective communication is key to fostering influence rather than manipulation.
Living in alignment with your values can enhance your influence in relationships.
Asking for what you want is a form of kindness, not manipulation.
Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in distinguishing between manipulation and influence.
Trust is built through honesty and consistency in relationships.
Shifting from control to influence increases the chances of achieving desired outcomes.

More from me:

Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today we're exploring unbecoming and self-discovery. We'll look at the importance of stripping away old identities and beliefs that no longer serve us, particularly those rooted in childhood trauma. We need to create space for authenticity and self-acceptance, rather than striving for an idealized version of ourselves.

Key Takeaways:

Healing from infidelity involves unbecoming old identities.
Many beliefs about self-worth are rooted in childhood experiences.
Unlearning is often more important than becoming something new.
Creating space for authenticity allows for true self-discovery.
The pressure to be better can stem from past trauma.
It's essential to recognize what stories are not truly yours.
Self-acceptance is a key part of the healing process.
The journey of unbecoming can be uncomfortable but necessary.
You are not defined by your past or the actions of others.
Real work is about being present with yourself, not rushing to an outcome.

More from me:

Register for the Free Masterclass - Reclaiming Her: Mothering with a Shattered Heart After Infidelity - here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/reclaiming-her
Sign up for the $47 class Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the Get Your Life Back After Infidelity group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Actions alone are insufficient for healing after betrayal. Today we're talking about the importance of genuine connection, the impact of childhood experiences on emotional safety, and the necessity of self-awareness and self-care in the healing process. A person who has been betrayed has to prioritize their emotional safety and seek deeper, more meaningful connections in their relationships. Let's talk about how...

Key Takeaways:

Healing requires more than just actions; it needs genuine connection.
Box checking can create an illusion of safety but lacks depth.
Emotional safety is often rooted in childhood experiences.
Resentment can undermine efforts to rebuild trust.
Real healing often disrupts appearances and requires vulnerability.
Self-awareness is crucial for understanding emotional needs.
It's important to communicate needs clearly in relationships.
Surface-level compliance can lead to deeper feelings of loneliness.
Creating safety starts from within and requires self-compassion.
True connection is built on mutual respect and understanding.

More from me:

Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today I'm going to share a personal experience of navigating some complex emotions during my daughter's wedding. Let's talk about the importance of making room for all feelings, including joy and grief, and acknowledge the societal expectations surrounding emotional responses to significant life events.

Key Takeaways:

Emotional maturity involves holding multiple truths at once.
It's okay to feel both joy and grief simultaneously.
Cultural expectations can create pressure around how we should feel during significant events.
Mixed emotions are a natural part of the human experience.
Self-judgment can intensify emotional struggles.
Making room for all feelings is essential for healing.
Emotions are not problems; they are experiences to be felt.
You don't have to wait for the hard times to celebrate the good.
All parts of you are welcome in your emotional journey.
Healing involves embracing complexity and allowing all emotions to coexist.

More from me:

Sign up for the $47 class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode we talk about how important it is to focus on personal growth after infidelity rather than fixating on the actions of the partner. We need to prioritize self-healing, understanding the true nature of remorse, and the significance of moving forward rather than trying to return to the past.

Key Takeaways:

Focus on personal growth rather than the partner's actions.
The decision to stay or go should not be the first question.
Remorse from a partner does not equate to personal healing.
Healing is not contingent on the partner's regret or recognition.
Self-care and personal needs should take precedence over monitoring the partner's change.
Moving forward is essential; returning to the past is not an option.
Trusting oneself is more powerful than surveillance.
Liberation from dependency on others is key to healing.
Ask yourself who you are becoming in the healing process.
This experience can sharpen important aspects of your character.

More from me:

Sign up for the class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, we cover the critical concept of integration after infidelity. It's so important to move beyond mere education and understanding and advocate for a deeper embodiment of the lessons learned. True healing comes from slowing down, feeling emotions, and practicing integration. It's not easy facing the challenges of decision-making in the aftermath of infidelity; we have to commit long-term to the healing process.

Key Takeaways:

Integration is essential for true healing after infidelity.
Education without integration leads to avoidance.
Embodying change requires slowing down and feeling emotions.
Real transformation happens when we practice the pause.
Making decisions about staying or leaving requires integration.
Infidelity can be an invitation to learn and grow.
You already possess the answers within you.
Courage is needed to move from knowledge to action.
Long-term commitment is crucial for lasting change.
Letting knowledge change you is the key to healing.

More from me:

Sign up for the class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today, let's explore the phrase 'happy wife, happy life' and its implications on relationships. We'll discuss the dangers of suppressing emotions, the cost of avoiding truth, and the importance of building true intimacy and honest partnerships. Real happiness in relationships comes from mutual respect, truth-telling, and emotional resilience rather than appeasement and avoidance of conflict.

Key Takeaways:

The phrase 'happy wife, happy life' promotes dishonesty and emotional withdrawal.
Suppressing emotions leads to resentment and distance in relationships.
Real partnership is built on mutual truth and respect, not just keeping one person happy.
Avoiding conflict can create a false sense of peace that is unsustainable.
Politeness can kill passion and intimacy in relationships.
Codependency often disguises itself as love but is rooted in fear.
True intimacy requires vulnerability and the ability to express needs without blame.
Conflict is an opportunity for engagement, not something to avoid.
Creating a culture of honest communication strengthens relationships.
Reflecting on what conversations are being avoided can lead to deeper understanding.

More from me:

Sign up for the class "Decide: How to Commit to Staying or Going After Infidelity" here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/decide
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode we're delving into the importance of honesty and truth-telling in the healing process after betrayal. We'll talk about the courage required to face one's own truths and the detrimental effects of withholding honesty in relationships, and we'll explore the concept of 'mini betrayals' and how they can lead to larger issues in relationships.

Key Takeaways:

Honesty is essential for healing and growth.
Self-honesty requires courage and vulnerability.
Withholding truth creates distance and resentment.
Mini betrayals can lead to larger issues in relationships.
Facing our truths can lead to clarity and alignment.
Silence in relationships often leads to assumptions and disconnection.
Truth-telling is a commitment to authenticity.
Embracing complexity in truth allows for personal evolution.
Avoiding truth can lead to feelings of being stuck.
Sharing truths can foster deeper connections with others.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today we're talking about the concept of emotional leeches — people or beliefs that drain our energy without giving anything in return. It's so important to recognize these leeches, understand the false narratives attached to them, and to ultimately release them to reclaim our energy and well-being.

Key Takeaways:

Emotional leeches drain your energy without giving anything in return.
Recognizing leeches is the first step to reclaiming your energy.
False narratives often stem from childhood conditioning.
Healing from infidelity reveals the leeches we carry.
Setting boundaries is essential for self-care.
Letting go of leeches is an act of love and kindness.
You are not responsible for others' emotions.
Identifying leeches helps in understanding unhealthy dynamics.
Reclaiming your energy allows for personal growth.
Healing is a journey that requires self-reflection.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode we discuss the transformative power of truth in the healing journey after infidelity. There is emphasis on the importance of facing hard truths, both about ourselves and our relationships, and how this process can lead to personal empowerment and freedom. Through various exercises and reflections, listeners are encouraged to embrace their truths and develop emotional maturity, which is essential for genuine healing and growth.

Key Takeaways:

Truth is the threshold between devastation and transformation.
The hardest truth to tell is often the one we tell ourselves.
Ignoring the truth only makes it louder.
Real healing begins when we stop lying to ourselves.
Truth is not a weapon; it is a doorway to freedom.
Emotional maturity is essential for telling and hearing the truth.
We must integrate the truth we receive into our lives.
Living in truth requires daily decisions to honor what is real.
Trusting ourselves is the foundation of personal empowerment.
Freedom is only possible when we have the emotional maturity to hold it.

More from me:

Offer for a very special couple - email me for this special offer: andrea@andreagiles.com
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today's guest is Julie Cluff, a hope and grief coach, who shares her profound journey of loss and transformation after the tragic death of her two children in a car accident. Julie discusses the impact of grief, the importance of self-compassion, and the process of reclaiming joy after loss. She emphasizes the significance of sharing our stories and the potential for generational healing through personal growth. The conversation highlights the challenges of navigating grief and the transformative power of embracing our experiences to foster healing and connection.

Key Takeaways:

The hardest things can lead to profound transformation.
Grief is a complex journey that requires time and compassion.
Self-compassion is crucial in the healing process.
Finding joy again is a relearning process after loss.
Sharing our stories can inspire and help others heal.
Generational healing can occur through personal growth and self-love.
Pain often drives us to seek help and change our lives.
Healing is not linear; it involves ups and downs.
We can reclaim our space and redefine our relationship with grief.
Transformation requires us to build a new foundation after loss.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today we're going to stop reacting and start leading. Let's talk about the importance of moving from a reactive state to a proactive one in relationships, especially after infidelity. We'll discuss the need for self-leadership, the power of pausing before responding, and the significance of understanding one's triggers.

Key Takeaways:

Reacting to a partner's choices gives them power over you.
Responding from strength leads to clarity and control.
Jumping to conclusions can be dangerous and unproductive.
Emotional outbursts often stem from a place of fear.
Making decisions based on a partner's mood undermines your values.
The power of the pause can transform your responses.
Self-leadership shifts the power dynamic in relationships.
Understanding your triggers is key to personal growth.
Healthy relationships require mutual validation, not begging for it.
Commit to leading yourself first to foster personal empowerment.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today we discuss the essential process of self-repair after experiencing betrayal with an emphasis on the importance of focusing on your relationship with yourself rather than solely on repairing the relationship with your partner. We explore how infidelity can shatter self-trust, the urgency of self-repair, and practical steps to rebuild self-trust, set boundaries, and engage from a place of choice. Ultimately, the episode highlights that true healing begins with you and that nurturing a strong relationship with yourself leads to healthier external relationships.

Key Takeaways:

Self-repair is often neglected after infidelity.
Healing the relationship with yourself is crucial.
Infidelity can lead to a deep rupture in self-trust.
Many focus on repairing the relationship first due to urgency.
Self-repair involves rebuilding self-trust and listening to intuition.
Setting boundaries is essential for self-care.
Engaging from a place of choice enhances relationships.
The stronger your self-relationship, the better your external relationships.
Healing starts with individual actions and self-awareness.
Knowing oneself intimately is invaluable for personal growth.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today we explore the critical importance of investing in oneself for healing and personal growth after infidelity. Those who commit financially and emotionally to their healing journey tend to see the most significant transformations. We address some common objections to investing in oneself, the concept of money as an energetic exchange, the high costs associated with remaining stuck in unhealthy patterns and the impact of personal healing on future generations.

Key Takeaways:

Healing from infidelity requires courage and self-discovery.
Personal growth often involves stepping out of comfort zones.
Choosing how to respond to challenges is crucial for growth.
Micro choices can significantly impact emotional resilience.
Feeling pressured can hinder personal progress.
It's essential to take ownership of one's healing journey.
Difficult conversations can lead to personal empowerment.
Learning new skills can enhance confidence and self-esteem.
Embracing challenges can broaden one's horizons.
Repairing relationships starts with self-awareness and choice.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Get on my email list here: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/z9q3x1
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, we discuss the journey of healing from infidelity through personal growth and empowerment. Using a skiing experience as a metaphor, I emphasize the importance of making conscious choices in response to challenges and triggers. The episode highlights the significance of micro choices in shaping our emotional responses and the power of taking ownership of our healing journey.

Key Takeaways:

Healing from infidelity requires courage and self-discovery.
Personal growth often involves stepping out of comfort zones.
Choosing how to respond to challenges is crucial for growth.
Micro choices can significantly impact emotional resilience.
Feeling pressured can hinder personal progress.
It's essential to take ownership of one's healing journey.
Difficult conversations can lead to personal empowerment.
Learning new skills can enhance confidence and self-esteem.
Embracing challenges can broaden one's horizons.
Repairing relationships starts with self-awareness and choice.

Join me on February 11th, I'm hosting an all-day virtual retreat called "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity." It's going to be from 9 am to 4 pm MT all online with amazing content and amazing guests. Come learn how to get out of your own way - how to stop self-sabotaging, how to let go of the painful stories that continue to hurt you so that you can call in the things that you really need. Get access for this day, and you also get access to a call replay. So if you can't come to the whole call, you will have access to the replay and can watch it later. Get in here! https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/9wXtaLU6/checkout

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, we explore the critical differences between healthy love and love addiction. We discuss the emotional dependencies that characterize love addiction, the signs to recognize it, and the traits of healthy love. The conversation delves into the root causes of love addiction, including unresolved childhood wounds and attachment styles, and offers practical steps for healing and cultivating healthy relationships. The episode emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, emotional independence, and the need for mutual respect and growth in relationships.

Key Takeaways:

Healthy love is about mutual respect and emotional security.
Love addiction often involves prioritizing the relationship over self-respect.
Signs of love addiction include intense anxiety and worthlessness when alone.
Healthy love allows for individuality and personal boundaries.
Unresolved childhood wounds can lead to love addiction.
Awareness and acceptance are the first steps to healing.
Cultivating a fulfilling life outside of relationships is essential.
Setting boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships.
Love addiction is rooted in fear and compulsion.
You deserve love that feels steady and secure.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, we discuss the importance of self-leadership in the healing process after infidelity. Self-leadership involves taking responsibility for one's thoughts, emotions, and actions, which can significantly influence relationships. We cover various aspects of self-leadership, including emotional regulation, integrity, accountability, setting boundaries, and the ripple effect of personal growth. Reflect on your control, set intentions, and seek support as you navigate your healing journey.

Key Takeaways:

Self-leadership is crucial for personal growth after infidelity.
Emotional regulation is key to fostering trust in relationships.
Living with integrity inspires others and builds credibility.
Setting healthy boundaries is essential for effective communication.
Vulnerability is necessary for authentic connection.
The ripple effect of self-leadership can influence future relationships.
Reflecting on control helps in managing emotions and actions.
Daily intentions can guide personal behavior and choices.
Support systems are vital for deeper self-leadership.
Leading yourself forward is a continuous journey of growth.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, we look at the concepts of transactional versus generous giving in relationships, particularly in the context of healing after infidelity. We discuss the motivations behind giving, the emotional toll of transactional giving, and the importance of genuine generosity without expectations. The episode emphasizes the need for self-awareness and communication in rebuilding trust and intimacy after betrayal.

Key Takeaways:

Transactional giving seeks control or an outcome.
Generous giving is rooted in love and authenticity.
Trust is rebuilt through consistent, small gestures.
Expectations can complicate the act of giving.
Generosity should not come at the expense of one's own needs.
Self-awareness is key in understanding motivations for giving.
Both partners can struggle with feelings of insecurity after infidelity.
Genuine giving fosters connection and mutual respect.
It's important to communicate expectations honestly.
Shifting from transactional to generous giving is a courageous act.

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode we discuss the challenges of navigating personal change and grief after infidelity. I share my own experiences of emotional upheaval as my son leaves for college, exploring the triggers that arise during significant life transitions. We'll emphasize the importance of self-awareness, healthy communication, and grounding techniques to manage intense emotions.

Please embrace your healing journey and consider joining my transformative program for support and growth.

In this episode:

Navigating Personal Change and Grief
Understanding Triggers and Emotional Responses
Tools for Managing Change and Grief
Embracing Healing and Growth

More from me:

Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, we discuss the concept of false confidence, particularly in the context of healing from infidelity. We explore the difference between true empowerment and the illusion of strength, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and vulnerability in the healing process. The episode highlights how performative behaviors can hinder emotional recovery and the significance of assertiveness over control in rebuilding trust. I provide actionable steps for listeners to cultivate true confidence, including acknowledging pain, taking ownership of healing, and focusing on personal growth.

In this episode:

The Illusion of Strength vs. True Empowerment
The Impact of Performative Behavior
Understanding Remorse and Authenticity
Navigating Control and Assertiveness
Building True Confidence After Betrayal

Mentioned in this episode:

Ep #149 - The Three Phases of Recovery

More from me:

The January Workshop: How to Decide to Stay or Go After Infidelity will be held January 9th from 9-12 AM MST. Go here to sign up: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/QvudToxz/checkout
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Kendra Last and I delve into the complexities of narcissism in relationships, particularly in the context of betrayal and infidelity. Kendra shares her personal experiences with narcissistic partners, highlighting the signs and traits of narcissism, the impact it has on individuals, and the importance of recognizing one's worth in the healing process. The conversation emphasizes the significance of self-love, understanding the dynamics of narcissistic relationships, and the journey towards healing and empowerment.

In this episode:

Understanding Narcissism in Relationships
Kendra's Personal Journey with Narcissism
Identifying Narcissistic Traits and Behaviors
The Impact of Narcissism on Relationships
Differentiating Between Narcissistic Traits and Disorder
The Love Bombing Phase of Narcissistic Relationships
Recognizing Vulnerabilities to Narcissistic Partners
Healing and Moving Forward After Narcissistic Abuse

About Kendra:

Kendra Last is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping women thrive after experiencing narcissistic abuse and/or betrayal trauma. She has a gentle yet direct approach to help you really understand what you have been through, process it and then see your options for moving forward. She helps her clients really understand the "WHY" behind the choices they make. This helps her clients heal faster, and feel empowered to finally see all of the options available to them. She is a single mom to 3 awesome teenagers, loves the beach and sewing and enjoys living with her kids in Lawrence, Kansas.

To learn more from Kendra go here: https://linkr.bio/luxuryladiesretreats

More from Andrea:

The January Workshop: How to Decide to Stay or Go After Infidelity will be held January 9th from 9-12 AM MST. Go here to sign up: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/QvudToxz/checkout
The price for my program "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" goes up January 1st. Email me at hello@andreagiles.com for more information.
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, we discuss the critical role of remorse in healing from infidelity. I'll emphasize the importance of genuine apologies, the characteristics of real remorse, and how to advocate for meaningful communication in relationships. The conversation provides insights into what constitutes true remorse and the steps necessary for rebuilding trust after betrayal.

In this episode:

Understanding Remorse After Betrayal
Defining Real Remorse
The Importance of Genuine Apologies
Characteristics of Real Remorse
What Real Remorse Does Not Look Like
How to Ask for a Meaningful Apology

More from Andrea:

The January Workshop: How to Decide to Stay or Go After Infidelity will be held January 9th from 9-12 AM MST. Go here to sign up: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/QvudToxz/checkout
The price for my program "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" goes up January 1st. Email me at hello@andreagiles.com for more information.
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today let's delve into the complexities of commitment, especially in the wake of infidelity. We'll discover how committing can feel like a terrifying free fall and learn strategies to navigate these intense emotions. I'll share insights from coaching sessions, emphasizing the importance of going all in to find personal empowerment and growth. Whether you're deciding to stay in or leave a relationship, this episode offers valuable guidance on embracing vulnerability and finding grounding in uncertainty. Join me as I help you transform fear into a path of healing and self-discovery.

In this episode:

The Anatomy of Commitment
Why We Avoid Commitment
Personal Stories and Insights
Embracing Vulnerability and Growth

More from Andrea:

The January Workshop: How to Decide to Stay or Go After Infidelity will be held January 9th from 9-12 AM MST. Go here to sign up: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/QvudToxz/checkout
The price for my program "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" goes up January 1st. Email me at hello@andreagiles.com for more information.
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Join Andrea in episode 167 of the Heal From Infidelity podcast as she explores the power of making choices, one at a time. Discover how each decision, big or small, can shape your life and lead to personal growth and healing. Andrea shares personal reflections from her busy Thanksgiving weekend, including the importance of advocating for oneself and the profound impact of life-altering decisions. She also announces an upcoming workshop on the decision to stay or go, offering guidance for those at a crossroads. Tune in to learn how to embrace your choices and create a life that truly reflects your values.

In this episode:

Workshop Announcement
Thanksgiving Reflections
Choices and Consequences
Big Decisions and Their Impact
Personal Growth and Coaching
Embracing Unexpected Outcomes

More from Andrea:

The January Workshop: How to Decide to Stay or Go After Infidelity will be held January 9th from 9-12 AM MST. Go here to sign up: https://portal.andreagiles.com/offers/QvudToxz/checkout
Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Andrea shares personal experiences and insights that show how letting go of the need for certainty can lead to profound personal growth and self-discovery. She discusses the costs of clinging to the familiar and the steps needed to embrace the unknown, offering listeners a pathway to rebuild self-trust and create a life filled with possibility. Tune in to discover how stepping into the unknown can help you become the boldest, truest version of yourself.

In this episode:

Program Updates
The Importance of Uncertainty
Clinging to Familiarity
Embracing the Unknown
Personal Growth and Self-Trust

More from Andrea:

Ready to join? Sign up here!
Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Andrea delves into the complex relationship between escapism and infidelity. Discover why individuals turn to escapism, how it manifests in both betrayed and betraying partners, and the long-term impact on relationships. Andrea offers insights into identifying escapism tendencies, confronting them, and fostering personal growth and healing. Tune in to learn how to face personal struggles and relationship challenges head-on, and explore healthier coping strategies for a more fulfilling life.

In this episode:

Black Friday Specials Announcement
Understanding Escapism
Escapism Examples
Impact on Relationships
Healing and Confronting Escapism

More from Andrea:

Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Andrea explores the profound impact of judgment on relationships, especially in the aftermath of infidelity. Discover how judgment can hinder healing and connection, and learn the difference between judgment and discernment. Andrea discusses empathy and self-compassion as powerful tools to overcome judgment and foster communication. Whether you're working to rebuild a relationship or deciding to move on, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice to help you navigate the complex emotions of betrayal.

In this episode:

Announcement: Free Class on Handling Triggers
The Price of Judgment
Types of Judgment
Judgment vs. Discernment
Impact on Relationships
Empathy and Self-Compassion
Open Communication

More from Andrea:

Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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FREE CLASS!

Friday, November 15, 2024 10:00 am MT / 12:00 pm ET

Join us for a special class on navigating and trigger-proofing your holidays, hosted by Andrea! This last-minute session is set for Friday, November 15th at 10:00 AM Mountain Time.

Can't make it live? No worries! The class will be recorded, and you can catch the replay. Act fast, as exclusive offers will be available for only 48 hours post-webinar. Secure your spot here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/trigger-proof-your-holidays

Don't miss out on this opportunity for holiday support!

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In this episode, Andrea delves into the intricate relationship between technology and infidelity. Discover how the digital age has transformed the landscape of relationships, presenting both challenges and opportunities for healing. Andrea shares insights on setting digital boundaries, differentiating between surveillance and privacy, and the importance of open communication to rebuild trust. Whether you're navigating the aftermath of betrayal or preparing for new relationships, this episode offers empowering advice to help you take control of your digital space and foster healing. Tune in for a transformative discussion on safeguarding your mental health and reclaiming your power.

In this episode:

The Role of Technology in Modern Infidelity
Setting Boundaries and Communication
Privacy vs. Surveillance
Digital Detox and Mental Health
Compassion and Moving Forward

More from Andrea:

Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Andrea delves into the profound journey of healing from betrayal. Through personal anecdotes and insightful reflections, she explores the expectations versus the reality of healing, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and resilience. Andrea shares a poignant story about a dream that reignited past emotions and uses it as a metaphor for understanding the healing process. Join her as she uncovers the subconscious fears that linger and offers guidance on how to confront them with courage and kindness. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that healing is not about erasing the past, but about growing stronger and more self-aware.

In this episode:

Personal Reflection and Dream Analysis
Metaphor of Physical Healing
Subconscious Fears and Triggers
The True Meaning of Healing
Invitation to Work Together

More from Andrea:

Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Join Andrea as she delves into the complex journey from betrayal to rebuilding trust. This episode offers tactical insights and real-life examples to help listeners understand the dynamics of trust after infidelity. Andrea references Brene Brown's "Atlas of the Heart" to explore the emotions tied to betrayal and trust, emphasizing the need for accountability, integrity, and self-trust. Whether you've experienced betrayal or are working on self-trust, this episode provides valuable guidance for healing and growth.

In this episode:

Discussion on Betrayal
Insights from Brene Brown's Work
Building Trust: The BRAVING Framework
Self-Trust and Personal Growth

More from Andrea:

Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Join Andrea as she explores the transformative possibilities that await after infidelity. Through real-life client stories, Andrea sheds light on the healing journey and the potential for personal growth and stronger relationships. Discover how courageous individuals have navigated betrayal, rebuilt trust, and emerged more confident and connected. Whether you're dealing with a recent discovery or a long-standing issue, this episode offers hope and strategies to move forward with intention and resilience.

In this episode:

Client Success Stories
Dealing with Same-Sex Infidelity
Rebuilding After Separation
Couples' Journey to Reconnection

More from Andrea:

Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Andrea delves into the complex emotion of anger and its impact on personal growth. Discover how anger can serve as both a warning signal and a barrier to healing, and learn practical strategies to channel this emotion into positive action. Whether you're struggling with boundaries, resentment, or fear, this episode offers insights to help you move forward with confidence. Tune in to explore how to turn anger into a catalyst for change and create a life of empowerment and peace.

In this episode:

Virtual Retreat Announcement
Understanding Anger
Anger and Boundaries
Resentment vs. Anger
Anger as a Cover for Fear
Moving Forward

More from Andrea:

Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Andrea explores the concept of changing your mind, its challenges, and benefits. She shares a story about Terry Real, a well-known therapist, who publicly retracted a previous statement, demonstrating humility and growth. Andrea discusses common obstacles like cognitive biases and the sunk-cost fallacy, which prevent individuals from being open to change.

Highlighting the importance of personal growth and integrity, she encourages listeners to be curious, seek diverse perspectives, and embrace flexibility in decision-making. By sharing her personal experience of navigating challenging decisions during her first marriage, Andrea illustrates that changing one's mind, when aligned with personal integrity and transformation, can lead to empowerment and growth.

Listeners are encouraged to challenge existing beliefs for deeper personal development.

In this episode:

Today's Topic: Changing Your Mind
Personal Story: An Email from Terry Real
Why It's Hard to Change Our Minds
The Benefits of Changing Your Mind
How to Change Your Mind
Becoming More Open to Change

More from Andrea:

Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Andrea explores the concept of "your bottom line" and how it plays a crucial role in the healing process after experiencing infidelity. She shares real-life examples from her clients and her own journey, illustrating how identifying and adhering to your bottom line can provide clarity and empowerment. She discusses the importance of self-reflection, understanding personal values, and establishing firm boundaries to protect oneself. Tune in to learn how to define your bottom line and why it’s essential for your emotional well-being.

In this episode:

Importance of Knowing Your Bottom Line
Real-Life Examples
Andrea’s Personal Story
How to Identify Your Bottom Line
Communicating Your Bottom Line

More from Andrea:

Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/
Free Masterclass: How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity ... Whether You Stay or Go: https://portal.andreagiles.com/gylb-webinar
Apply to join the "Get Your Life Back After Infidelity" group program here: https://portal.andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back-application

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this empowering episode, Andrea delves into the complex topic of your relationship to trauma. Andrea shares personal stories and professional insights to help you understand and redefine your relationship with trauma, especially in the context of infidelity. She challenges the conventional narrative that trauma must be a lifelong burden and offers a fresh perspective on how to transform your pain into growth.

Tune in to learn how to reclaim your life, shift your mindset, and build a future that's not defined by past hurts.

In this episode:

Understanding Relationships with Various Aspects of Life
The Common Narratives Around Trauma
Personal Story: Healing and Feeling Like a Victim
The Role of Support Systems
The Impact of Identifying with Trauma
A Pivotal Moment: The Day My First Husband Died
Changing Your Relationship with Trauma
Practical Steps to Reclaim Your Life
Invitation to Join the Program

More from Andrea:

To work with her, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/
Join her email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Andrea delves into the concept she calls "The Boomerang Effect." Inspired by a coaching session with a client, Andrea explores how strong emotional reactions often lead us to make drastic decisions, only to later soften and reconsider our stance. She discusses how this phenomenon manifests in various aspects of life, including relationships, politics, and religion, and emphasizes the importance of finding a middle ground.

Tune in to learn how to navigate these emotional swings and make more grounded decisions.

In this episode:

The Origin of the Boomerang Effect
Examples in Relationships
The Role of Politics and Religion
When to Fling Yourself Away
The Softening Phase
Personal Reflections and Advice

More from Andrea:

To work with her, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/
Join her email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Andrea welcomes forgiveness expert Dara McKinley to explore the profound and transformative power of forgiveness. Dara shares her personal journey and professional insights into how forgiveness can liberate us from emotional burdens, helping us to heal and move forward. They discuss the misconceptions about forgiveness, the difference between forgiving and pardoning, and the role of unconditional love. Dara also provides practical advice on how to approach forgiveness, even in the most challenging circumstances, and emphasizes that everyone is inherently capable of this healing process.

Tune in for an enlightening conversation that promises to reshape your understanding of forgiveness.

In this episode:

Dara McKinley's Background
The True Meaning of Forgiveness
Dara's Personal Forgiveness Journey
Practical Steps to Forgiveness
Emotional Health and Forgiveness
Addressing Misconceptions
The Role of Unconditional Love
Applying Forgiveness in Everyday Life

Dara McKinley has studied and worked in the realm of spirituality and health for over three decades. In 2012, difficult life circumstances pointed her to forgiveness where she realized that many spoke prolifically about why one should forgive but no one spoke of how. Her background enabled her to successfully create and follow a forgiveness path that worked, but in the years that followed, the experience made her see some significant themes. In particular, she saw how mainstream forgiveness understanding (pardoning, ceasing anger, having compassion, and letting go) was obscuring the forgiveness path. She also saw that people who identified as spiritual-but-not-religious required a forgiveness path that was clear, and logical. This inspired Dara to devote her professional life to understanding forgiveness’ infrastructure and to making forgiveness the practical healing modality it was always meant to be.

To learn more from Dara:

Website: http://howtoforgive.com
Website: http://daramckinley.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DaraMckinley108/
Twitter: https://x.com/daramckinley
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daramckinley

More from Andrea:

To work with her, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/
Join her email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit Andrea's website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Today, Andrea dives into the complex issue of spiritual bypassing. She discusses how individuals often use spiritual practices as a way to avoid facing the real issues at the heart of infidelity. Through real-life examples and personal anecdotes, Andrea explains why it's crucial to address the root causes of betrayal rather than masking them with temporary solutions. She also highlights the importance of facing uncomfortable emotions and the potential negative impacts of spiritual bypassing, such as emotional confusion and codependency. Tune in to learn how to confront these challenges head-on and grow into a more authentic and confident version of yourself.

In this episode:

Real-life Examples
Understanding Spiritual Bypassing
The Problem with Avoidance
Personal Anecdotes
Negative Impacts of Spiritual Bypassing
Signs of Bypassing

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this week's episode, Andrea takes us on a heartfelt walk in the country to discuss the importance of recognizing and remembering your value. Learn how to move from needing validation to wanting it, and make powerful, courageous decisions that align with your true worth. Andrea shares personal stories, thought-provoking questions, and inspiring examples that will empower you to step into your full potential. Listen now and take the first step towards embracing your true value.

In this episode:

Discussing self-worth with teens
Recognizing our own value
Reactive vs. proactive actions
Examples of valuing yourself
Moving from "need" to "want"
Questions for self-reflection

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Are boundaries hard for you? Do you struggle to know when to be firm and when to let up?

In this episode, I interview expert Linsday Poelman about boundaries, how to think about them, and what to try if you struggle to set them. You will leave with a concrete way to check in with yourself as you become more autonomous in your closest relationships.

Ready to embark on a NEW CAREER? Join Lindsay's exclusive masterclass to dive deep into her Trauma-Informed Coach Certification. Get insider access to a special 72-hour discount by clicking here! Plus, use code ANDREA at checkout for an extra 5% off. Don’t miss this chance to transform your life! https://www.lindsaypoelmancoaching.com/a/2147833935/FE9GqLkU

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Do you wonder what will actually work for you in moving forward after the infidelity? With so much conflicting information, it can be quite confusing.

In this episode, I go into depth about the 5 milestones that, if practiced, will work for anyone, in any situation. Commitment to the process is what will get you strong results.

These milestones are built on each other, and the end product of mastering each one is a calm mind, vibrant relationships, and high-level practical skills you will use for the rest of your life. You can move forward, you can reclaim your life, and you can be a version of yourself you are so proud of.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Do you ever wonder what you should be focusing on after infidelity?

This episode details the three areas that couples need to dive into in order to have a chance at building something better than what was there before -- or to go their separate ways as peacefully as possible.

Tune in to check in with where you are, what to lean into and what to let go of.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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One of the biggest struggles in the aftermath of infidelity is not knowing what to do.

Do I just wait on him to see what he does?
How can I ever let this go?
What if it happens again?
Can I ever trust him again?

All of these questions lead to endless rumination and winding up more confused than ever.

In this episode you’ll learn an effective strategy that will help you know the next step to take. When you learn to scan out into the future and really see what is there, it can help give you the courage to make bold moves that will help ensure the future you want most.

Referenced downloadable worksheet

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode I go deep and personal with my journey since the ten year anniversary death of my first husband on July 9th.

Many struggle in the aftermath of infidelity with how to let go. They find themselves un-intentionally sabotaging new relationships because they are still focused on all that went wrong. I did the same thing, and share in this episode how I learned to let things be so I could be present with the life I was creating (and now enjoy!).

If you are stuck in replaying painful stories over and over, this episode is for you.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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After infidelity, you may believe your relationship is forever damaged. While you can never go back and undo it, there is an opportunity to build a wiser, stronger relationship than before.

Whether you stay or not, the reflecting and internal introspection that can happen as part of the healing process carves out wisdom in us that can transform our relationships, whether with the person we are now partnered with, or in the future.

This episode covers three different stages of relationships, what each has to offer, and how to turn the pain of infidelity into hard-won wisdom.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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As a follow-up to episode #138, “Losing Strategies,” this episode will cover “Winning Strategies.”

There are five skills that, when used (and practiced!!), can make a massive difference not only in your relationship, but in how to view yourself. Self-respect is based on how we view ourselves, so growing our skills of being more relational will reflect right back on how we view ourselves.

Tune in, pick one you want to practice, and watch your relationships change.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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For most people, any kind of infidelity or affair is quite a life-changing blow, but the reality is that not all affairs are the same.

In this episode, I go through several different types of affairs so you can educate yourself on what it is you are dealing with. Knowledge can be painful to hear, but in the end it will empower you to know what action to take.

You will know if it’s time to double down on rebuilding a marriage that was already in trouble, or if he has issues he needs to deal with alone.

Knowing what kind of affair it was can give you direction and courage to know how to proceed, and how to ultimately get some peace back, with the facts in hand.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Join me this week as I share a personal experience of taking on a major project. You’ll hear some of the obstacles that made me want to quit, and the reasons why I kept going.

This episode is less about a renovation and more about what it actually looks like in real time to make your dreams happen. It is hard work that requires more skill of you than what you may currently have.

If you need some motivation to go after what matters most to you, don’t miss this one.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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A question I get asked a lot is, “Who should I tell?"

After infidelity discovery, you may want to shout it to the rooftops, or tell absolutely no one.

Tune in to this episode to get some ideas of who it might we wise to tell, and what to watch out for.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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As children raised by imperfect parents, we all have “core wounds” that inform much of our life. We may have had experiences we did not know how to process, and therefore made up stories of what those things meant that we still carry with us today.

As we get older, we adapt and learn to navigate those painful stories through our various adaptations.

Then as adults, we have an opportunity to look at some of our adaptations, and evaluate if they are still serving us, or if we can let them go.

In this episode, I explore 3 roles children are often “cast” in that can create issues later in life if not evaluated and healed.

You will likely see yourself and those you love most in some of these roles, and gain some insight into your own behavior, as well as the behaviors of your partner/loved ones. You will also leave with some tangible ideas of how to navigate next steps in healing those parts that need gentle love and nurturing.

Register for my free class, “How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity” here: https://andrea-giles.mykajabi.com/webinar-may8-confirmed

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, I cover 3 common myths circulating about infidelity, and 3 truths to counter them.

With a lot of conflicting information out there, it can be quite confusing to navigate a clear path forward. By applying the principles discussed in this episode, you will be able to more clearly identify your own path and what is best for you.

Register for my free class, “How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity” here: https://andrea-giles.mykajabi.com/webinar-apr24-confirmed

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Most of my podcast episodes have been geared toward women who have experienced betrayal, but this one is for the men.

First I address men who have been betrayed by their spouse/partner. I cover how betrayal affects men differently than women and why that is.

Second, I address men who have betrayed their spouse. In my many years of coaching, I have learned that there is no black and white, and people are much more complicated than we make them out to be. You will learn some ideas that will help you heal and move forward, as well as how to support your spouse.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Growing up, we all take on behaviors that we use when our safety feels threatened.

In this episode, I will be covering five strategies we use to try to get back a sense of safety.

While these behaviors are common and we all participate in some (or all) of them at times, you’ll learn why they will ultimately not get you what you want. There may be a temporary feeling of “winning,” but in the end, we will be less connected with others, and usually less connected with ourselves.

Tune in this week to learn what strategies you buy into, and what it may be costing you.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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While we all want to be in relationships that are trusting and loving, at the root of it all what we really want is to feel deeply chosen.

In this episode, I’ll share different examples (both personal and from clients) where the strong desire to know you are being chosen drives forward courageous action.

I will also share how in order to feel deeply chosen, we have to strongly desire ourselves first. This pushes our growth as we develop into people who know what we what, and will hold a high standard to make sure we have those things.

Don’t miss this one! There is something for everyone.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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After having conversations with hundreds of people from all over the world in my five years of being an infidelity coach, there are some patterns, trends and truths I have learned.

In this episode, I share those 5 truths and how they have changed some of my views around infidelity. This is one you do not want to miss as it may change some of your views, too.

To work with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In a world that celebrates independence, it can seem like “weakness” to build relationships that require vulnerability. With “cancel culture” being rampant, it goes against the messages of the day, especially after infidelity, to fully lean in to building something that will last the test of time.

In this episode I go over two common ways we relate with each other in relationships, and one that is less practiced but will get you far more traction.

You will be able to identity where you are in your own relationship, and hear some tips on things that will push you in a healthy way.

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

To learn more about working with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In the 2nd of this 2 part series, Sara Fisk and Andrea go deeper into people-pleasing.

They go into more detail about how people-pleasing tendencies can put relationships at risk, and how stopping people-pleasing can help relationships heal.

You will learn:

How we are all deeply wired to people-please
How it is likely affecting you post-infidelity to people-please
How taking responsibility for our own growth (and letting go of people-pleasing) is crucial to healing

Sara Bybee Fisk is a Master Certified Coach and Instructor who teaches women how to tame the rampant people-pleasing, perfectionism and codependency that is causing them so much frustration and resentment. She is an anxious optimist and born again feminist who listens to more books than she actually sits down to read. She loves a good hike, good dark chocolate and good conversations. Her big dreams include learning to sail and to sing and dance like JLo and helping thousands of women create the big, juicy lives they want to be living. She is a wife and mom of 5 and she enjoys those roles most of the time.

To learn more from Andrea, be sure to join her email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

To learn more about working with Andrea, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow Andrea on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Do you struggle with people-pleasing? Is it getting in the way of making clear decisions for yourself in the after-math of infidelity?

In this 2-part series, Andrea and Sara Fisk talk all things people-pleasing. You will learn:

How we are all deeply wired to people-please
How it is likely affecting you post-infidelity to people-please
How taking responsibility for our own growth (and letting go of people-pleasing) is crucial to healing

To learn more from Andrea, be sure to join her email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

To learn more about working with Andrea, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow Andrea on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, I interview a former client, Lauren. Be prepared for an episode you will go back to again and again as there were so many gems and truths in her words.

Lauren not only shares in depth her personal story with her spouse's infidelity, but she shares her journey of coming back to herself after years of feeling like she wasn’t enough.

I guarantee you will relate to many of the things she shares, and feel inspired by how she has taken charge of her own life to make it something beautiful.

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

To learn more about working with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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How do you define healing?

If you think it means never hurting again, you can be setting yourself up for even more pain in the future.

In this episode, I cover various ways we can sabotage our own healing, and clearly define what it actually means.

You will also learn how to evaluate how far you have come, and what to be focusing on next.

When we learn to change our expectations, everything feels less urgent, there is less pressure, and we grow our capacity to hold space for ourselves.

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

To learn more about working with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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After infidelity, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to take control of the healing and recovery of your partner.

In this episode, you will learn why this is not a healthy, long-term solution and what to try instead.

We will cover:

Differences between men and women and why our healing looks different
Why learning to create more internal safety will get you the best results
Why trying to control our spouse often back-fires

If you want help navigating the aftermath of infidelity, don’t miss this one!

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

To learn more about working with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Sometimes we can use popular opinion against ourselves. We can listen to the opinions of others, rather than deeply searching our own hearts for what is true.

In this episode, I use a powerful analogy to teach you how to do your own “investigating” into what is true, beyond what outside sources may tell you.

You will learn how to see the full scope of your situation, rather than focusing only on the things that feel the biggest or scariest.

When we learn to get a broader view, we make more informed decisions that become easier to back up over time.

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

To learn more about working with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/

Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Romantic infidelity and financial infidelity often go hand in hand. Money is frequently spent on the affair partner, and in high-control relationships, spouses can feel like they have no say about where the money goes.

In this episode, guest Tracy Coenen and I discuss:

Hidden money
Financial rights for stay-at-home moms
Divorce settlements
Financial options, even if you are staying married

Tracy has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years, but she didn’t always want to be a forensic accountant. With a dream of one day being a prison warden, Tracy went to Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI to get a criminology degree. A class on financial crime investigations reminded her how much she loved Encyclopedia Brown books as a kid. She continued her criminology degree but added accounting and economics courses so she could become a CPA ... and here Tracy is, finding money in cases of corporate fraud, high net worth divorce, and other financial shenanigans.

Learn more from Tracy at: https://www.fraudcoach.com/infidelity

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

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Infidelity is one of the few things that can change everything, forever. There is no going back.

How we deal with the “after” in infidelity is crucial. It presents an opportunity to change old patterns, learn new ways of being, and new ways to interact with one another.

In this episode, you’ll learn how changing up the old patterns will serve you, whether you stay with your current spouse or not. You’ll understand why the only way forward is if both partners commit to being vulnerable, clumsy and to putting their best foot forward.

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Do you often feel like you “should” try to stay after infidelity? Or maybe you feel pressure from others telling you to leave because, as the saying goes, “Once a cheater, always a cheater?”

In this episode, I shine a light on how to listen for what is actually true for you. Other well-meaning people will always have their opinions, but in the end, you are the one that has to live in your life.

Desire is a strong indicator of the direction your wisest self wants to go. When you learn to listen to it, it will become your compass, and all you need is just a spark of a desire for it to get you moving.

This desire can cut through the noise of your own mind, others’ opinions, and your intense emotions.

Make sure to tune in to better understand the power of desire and how it can get you moving forward.

Schedule a free call to join my new group, “Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.”

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this follow up to my last episode, “Intrusive Thoughts,” I go into more depth as to how to navigate the thoughts that seem to take over and rob you of your peace.

I share two points that will help you gain some traction and direction the next time an intrusive thought shows up.

Point one is about how intrusive thoughts can keep us stuck in the past rather than seeing what is in front of us. I also talk about how sometimes staying in this space can keep us from our own growth and development.

Point two is about allowing the thoughts that come up to show us what we need to do to close “open loops” in our mind. This part is about leaning into the things we need to be looking at to set down the thoughts that keep showing up.

Don’t miss this episode, as you will leave with even more direction and actionable steps to take that will help you quiet your mind and move forward.

Schedule a free call to join my new group, “Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.”

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? These are the ones that pop up, seemingly out of nowhere, and can derail your whole day.

In this episode, I cover where these thoughts come from, and how to process them so they no longer have a hold on you.

You will learn a strategy that will:

Help you bring more awareness to the thought
Give you direction as to what to do with it (so you are in charge of the thought rather than it being in charge of you).

If you are like every client I have ever worked with, you have unwanted thoughts, and are tired of the hold they have on you. Don’t miss this episode to learn how to get a hold on the thoughts that can disturb your peace.

Want to work with me? Schedule a free call to join my new group, “Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.”

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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What happens when something you believed as true is challenged? Or when you make up your mind about something and immediately doubt it? Does it mean you made the wrong decision, or is something else happening?

In this episode, you’ll learn all about cognitive dissonance and how it is an indication that something is out of alignment for you. It may be that your beliefs need to be reevaluated or expanded. It may be that you are being led into deeper self-trust and wisdom.

While cognitive dissonance can be quite uncomfortable, it can lead you into a place of deep peace, knowing that your internal values match your external actions.

How to work with me: https://calendly.com/andreagilescoaching/get-your-life-back

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

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For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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After infidelity, the decision needs to be made whether to stay or go. But for most people, that is only half the decision.

Many people go through life being physically in a relationship but emotionally out. Some leave marriages physically but cannot separate themselves emotionally from their spouse, so they don’t really move on.

In this episode, I help you identify exactly where you are in your process forward. I help you know how to more fully commit to getting where you want to go so you can have real peace.

This is deep emotional work, and this episode can help you understand not only why it has been so difficult to go all in, but how you can help yourself get there.

Join me for my free webinar, HOW TO GET YOUR LIFE BACK AFTER INFIDELITY, on August 26th at 2 pm MST. You can register here.

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

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When you think of yourself, do you identify more with being someone who has been traumatized, or as someone who is incredibly resilient, despite your trauma?

Humans all experience trauma. It is inescapable. But what we forget is that as humans we are built to be resilient, and to rise above our trauma- not get stuck in it.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to create more resiliency as you navigate the choppy waters of infidelity. You will understand how you are getting yourself stuck in the story of your trauma, and leave with a clear path of how to grow stronger, despite your challenges.

Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me below to see if it would be a good fit for you.

https://calendly.com/andreagilescoaching/know-in-90

To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

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For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Most of us understand the importance and significance of courage. It is an emotion that can help us to look at hard things in our lives. But if we are unwilling to take action based on our feeling of courage, we end up right where we started.

In this episode, I share some ideas pertaining to infidelity about some of the ways we need to not only have courage, but to turn that courage into action to ultimately have what we want.

I use specific stories and analogies to help my listeners know how this applies to them, and things they can start doing today.

Ways to work with me:

Want to know how to decide to stay or go after infidelity? Join my free class here.

Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me below to see if it would be a good fit for you. https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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How much pressure do you put on yourself to “Keep the Peace”? Maybe there are things you don’t say because you don’t want to create conflict. Maybe you just stuff things down rather than speak up and make others uncomfortable.

In this episode, I discuss the concept of keeping the peace and where it often backfires. What if there is something better than keeping the peace? What if protecting your own peace over others' is the best work you can do?

If you want to understand areas you are hiding to maintain peace, listen to this episode. You will grow in your courage and strength to stand up for what you want most, even if it means temporarily rocking the boat in the name of creating long-term peace.

Ways to work with me:

Want to know how to decide to stay or go after infidelity? Join my free class here.

Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me to see if it would be a good fit for you. https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In the aftermath of infidelity, it can feel like your life has been blown up, and our spouse sometimes does not seem to understand how much their choices impacted us.

This episode discusses the importance of knowing that our spouse “gets it” in order to really move forward and build trust. I also discuss growing our capacity to look at ourselves and how the things we say and do affect others.

Solid relationships are built on both people taking responsibility for how we each impact each other.

Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, I welcome guest and self-advocacy expert, Samantha Nielsen to the show. If you have ever struggled in knowing how to speak up for yourself, this episode is for you.

Samantha shares her own experience with watching herself shrink and be miserable until it became unbearable. She had an amazing transformation and completely changed her life. More about Samantha:

Samantha is the happiest divorced woman on the planet! She believes that divorce is a necessary resource, gift and tool. Divorce, while difficult, allows people to move beyond hopeless situation and create new and better outcomes. While finding the courage to leave a difficult relationship can be one of the most difficult decisions, it is also incredibly empowering. Samantha holds a degree in Interpersonal Communications. She's also a Certified Life & Divorce Coach. Samantha offers private coaching to both men and women in all stages of the divorcing process. Connect with Samantha at www.moderndaydivorce.com or on Instagram at: @modern.day.divorce.

Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Do you often wonder how you’ll know the difference between a truth and a lie? It is a common question after infidelity, since the very nature of infidelity includes deceit.

In this episode, I share a powerful analogy that will help you discern for yourself between truth and error. You will come away from this episode wiser, more in tune with your own truth, and with a higher commitment to seeking truth, at all cost.

Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

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For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this lost and found episode, I share a story of recently losing my child in Disneyland and some profound lessons that came from that.

I came away from that experience recognizing clearer than ever that we are not meant to do life alone, especially the hard part.

In an intense situation, helpers came. Kindness was shown.

I want this for you, too, as you navigate feeling lost in infidelity.

Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

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For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, you’ll learn how grandiosity can lead to affairs. If we think we are better than others, we tend to excuse our behavior and make exceptions for ourselves.

You’ll learn what grandiosity is and how it can show up for the betrayed partner as well as the one who betrayed.

You’ll have a clear understanding of how the mindset of grandiosity gets in the way of real transparency, connection and healing and what to to about it.

Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

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For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Are there things in your life you want to change? Do you want your spouse to change?

In this episode, you will learn the fast-track to how to really, deeply, fundamentally change. Instead of just believing that you can’t change or that you are simply a failure in aspects of your life, you’ll understand why change has not “stuck” in the past, and how to move forward in becoming who you want to be.

You’ll also learn how to see if someone else is just going through the motions, or deeply changing.

Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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There is a lot of discussion about infidelity, but what about fidelity? What does it even look like to live in a high fidelity marriage?

In this episode you will learn about five elements that have to be present to have a high fidelity marriage.

Even if you have already experienced infidelity, fidelity can be learned. It can become your new reality, and it begins with becoming 100% faithful to yourself.

Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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One of the main questions we have after experiencing infidelity is, “How do I know it won’t happen again?”

In this episode, I teach about risk as being inherent in relationships and how to avoid taking risks with an unlikely return on investment.

You’ll learn what questions to ask yourself to gauge just how much risk you are taking, and when it is wise to go all in.

Risk IS inherent in any relationship, but in this episode you will learn how to be wiser about it.

Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program here.

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Have you ever wondered if what you experienced is infidelity? For some situations, there is no doubt. But for many others, there is a lot of nuance.

In this episode, you’ll learn exactly what infidelity is. When you have the words to define your experience, it is empowering. You are able to see more clearly why your experience felt like a violation, and what to do with that information.

As the saying goes, knowledge is power. The more you know, the more you will be able to confidently advocate for yourself.

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list here.

Apply for my group program, Know in 90, here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Often times, in an attempt to avoid temporary pain and discomfort, we avoid hard conversations, stuff down our own feelings and hide how we really feel from others.

In this episode, you’ll learn about how to create long term healing by practicing the concept of sustainability. By looking down the road at what we may have to deal with if we put things off today, it can give us the courage to do the hard things now, knowing we are ultimately creating something lasting.

Most of all, you will learn how to help create sustainable practices of healing that will help you truly transcend infidelity and use it for your good.

Shelley Swapp’s information: www.shelleyswapp.com

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Apply for my group program, Know in 90, here: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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This episode is all about why we excuse bad behavior. Whether it be from our kids, spouse, co-workers, boss, etc., there are reasons we allow people to treat us the way they do.

When you know what to look for and how to deal with the discomfort of teaching people how to treat you, life gets a whole lot easier.

Most of us are conflict-averse and put up with behaviors that aren’t helping anybody. You can learn how to lovingly hold people accountable while growing your own self-respect.

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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2022 was one for the books for me personally. I started the year with a new baby, launched a new program, and grew in ways I didn’t know I needed.

In this episode, I share my biggest lesson from the year: one that, when practiced, can bring relief and peace even in the midst of uncertainty and discomfort.

The lesson is around the concept of duality: The ability to hold onto two opposing views at the same time.

Don’t miss this episode if you want help navigating the things that don’t make sense or don’t have an easy answer.

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In a world that praises extreme independence, many of us don’t know how to help each other calm our nervous systems. We may even think it is co-dependence to try to help each other in this way.

In this week’s episode, we will take a deep dive into what it actually means to co-regulate, and how it can bring deep healing. We will also take a look at how our parents help us to learn how to settle ourselves down by first regulating with us.

You’ll understand what healthy co-regulation means as opposed to co-dysregulation.

Don’t miss this episode- first to understand your own patterns better, and to learn how to ask for the help you need.

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In my years of coaching, one thing I have heard too many times to count is, “I don’t like conflict.” My clients use this as a reason to not take bold action, not speak the things that need to be said, and ultimately to hide from discomfort.

In this episode, I cover conflict with a new lens; one that helps my clients lose their fear about stepping into conflict with the intention of getting to the other side with problems solved.

Listen to this episode to see where you are hiding from conflict, and to learn how to face it head on.

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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For many people, D-day, or discovery day (the day they found out about their spouse’s infidelity) is a heavy, traumatic day. When they have the anniversary of that day coming up, it can fill them with dread.

In this episode, I’ll be sharing ways to think about discovery day that can bring relief, and even hope.

It does not have to be an awful day. It can be a day with some emotion as you remember what happened, but it can be many other things as well.

Listen to this week’s episode to learn how to think about this (and other) potentially hard days in ways that help you move forward.

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Resentment. This is an emotion I see in almost all of my clients, whether they be the one who was betrayed or the one who did the betraying. While it is a common emotion that many of us struggle with, it can be deadly if left unchecked.

In this episode, I’ll cover where resentment comes from and why it can be so tempting to hold on to it. You will hear real life examples of clients I work with who are grappling with this and seeing how it is keeping them from moving forward.

You will also learn what to do with this powerful emotion. Listen to learn how to cut through resentment and turn it into something much more useful and sustainable.

To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Many would agree that infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences to endure. In this episode, rather than taking that statement at its word, I dive into the impact of infidelity and the ways it affects us.

Just like all things in life, there are some things that are out of control, and some that are very much in our control. Even with infidelity, there is much that we can choose. We can choose just how much we allow the choices of another to impact us. This episode will help you see where you are making the experience more painful for yourself and what you can do about it.

To work with me, schedule a 1-1 call to see if my upcoming Know in 90 group is right for you. We begin in November!

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, I interview Luke Schillings about his personal experience with experiencing and healing from infidelity. He has used his own painful experience to now work with men who are navigating that space. Listen for some amazing wisdom of how to let go, heal, and move on.

Luke is a 40 something father of two who recently escaped the 9-5 to chase his dreams of becoming a relationship and infidelity coach. UK based and Lincolnshire born and bred, he can often be found running in the countryside, volunteering, drinking coffee or engrossed in an Excel spreadsheet. He now takes much of his life experience, combined it with his unique coaching skills to help those who have been through infidelity trust again and move forward with their lives.”

Luke's Info:

Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke
Instagram: www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mylifecoachluke
After the Affair Podcast on Apple
After the Affair Podcast on Podbean

To work with Andrea, schedule a 1-1 call to see if her upcoming Know in 90 group is right for you. We begin in November!

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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To celebrate 100 episodes, tune in to hear snippets from the top 5 episodes thus far. You, my dear listeners, have been a delight to show up for, and I want you to know which episodes have been the most listened to. You may just learn that others are right where you are, and that you are not alone in struggling with the same things.

Thank you for your love, support, shares, and reviews. Here’s to the next 100!

To work with me, schedule a 1-1 call to see if my upcoming Know in 90 group is right for you. We begin in November!

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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A question I get asked a lot is, “Will it always hurt?” For most people, infidelity is one of life's experiences that can shake up your very foundation. It can be hard to imagine a time when it doesn't hurt every day.

In this episode, I share not only the good news that you won’t always hurt, but steps to take to make sure you don’t. Your healing does not have to be outsourced to anyone but you -- you can do things right now that will help you feel peace, calm, and start healing your heart.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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When you think of the future, do you feel a sense of foreboding, or hope?

Much of what you anticipate can be traced to past, unresolved experiences with your partner. In this episode, you’ll learn what probably happened and didn’t happen before the infidelity that is creating problems now.

Once you understand what is happening and what you can do about it, you’ll be able to choose how to view the future and be very intentional about what you are creating.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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After infidelity, it can be really easy to feel like your spouse owes you something. He needs to make it up to you, right? It makes sense that one might feel this way, but in this episode you’ll learn how this attitude can keep you from the very things you want most - peace, calm, and healing.

Entitlement is also what can set some people up to cheat in the first place and keep them stuck after infidelity. This episode will be useful for both the one who strayed and the one who was betrayed.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Validation is something we all enjoy as humans. We want to feel connected, heard, and seen.

For many of us though, especially if we were shot down a lot as kids, we grow into validation dependence and have difficulty functioning if someone is not constantly telling us how great or right we are.

In this episode, you’ll learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy validation, how to spot it in yourself and your partner, and how to strengthen your own sense of self so you won’t be as reliant on others to validate you.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Some questions that come up a lot with clients is, “What about sex after finding out? Is it bad to be intimate? What if I don’t want to? What if I do?” To answer these questions, I interviewed sex coach Amanda Louder.

Amanda Louder is a Certified Life Coach who helps women from conservative Christian backgrounds love their sex life. She helps women embrace their sexuality to help them strengthen their relationship with themselves, their spouse, and God.

In addition to being a coach, Amanda is also a wife to Kevin, and mom and step-mom to 5 kids, ranging in ages from 14-22. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, watching her kids play sports, fishing, and camping.

To hear more from Amanda, you can find her on Instagram @AmandaLouderCoaching, on her podcast “Sex for Saints” where she talks about all things sex and marriage, or on her website AmandaLouder.com.

Want to know more about my group Know in 90?

The August group is enrolling NOW and begins on August 16th. Want a spot? Come talk to me here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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A question I get asked regularly is about letting go - how to let go of the pain and hurt of infidelity.

In this episode, I will cover things we hold on to, why we hold onto them, and how to let them go. You’ll learn how your brain is trying to protect you from future harm and what to do to quiet it down.

Infidelity can be trauma-inducing, and the more you understand the ways this shows up for you, the easier it will be to heal.

Interested in joining the August group of Know in 90? Come talk to me here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Shame. An emotion we all feel but no one wants to talk about. It’s heavy, all-consuming, and keeps us isolated and stuck.

This episode is all about letting go of shame. First, you’ll learn about the origins of shame and how it often pretends to be useful. You’ll learn how shame sabotages our efforts to heal and doesn't allow us to see things as they really are.

Want to know what the cure is to shame? Give this episode a listen and you’ll have real steps to take to manage the shame of your spouses’ infidelity. It will set you free!

Want to get on the waitlist for the next round of my group coaching program? Sign up here.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In the aftermath of infidelity, there can be a period where you wait and watch.

Sometimes there is waiting to see how much initiative our partners take, and sometimes we are just waiting to feel calmer before we make big decisions.

Either way, there are things you can do to help settle your mind during this space.

In this episode, you’ll learn four things you can do during this time to help keep your mind focused on why you are waiting and what you are waiting for.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Do you ever wonder if you can ever really truly move forward from the darkness you are feeling?

A question I get a lot is, “Can I really do this?” and “Will I ever feel normal again?”

Yes, my friend. I promise.

In this episode, you’ll hear the stories of four past clients of mine who have moved forward and are thriving. Some stayed in the marriage, some did not. But all are happy and doing well.

There is hope, and they all did some things that ensured that they were moving forward from the strongest place. Listen to this week’s episode to learn what those things are.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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One thing I hear all the time from my clients is that they struggle with comparing themselves to their spouse's affair partner. It can get to the point where they can’t be in public with their spouse because they worry so much about what the spouse may be thinking about other women they see. It can be crippling.

In this episode, you’ll learn why we compare, and how you can help yourself navigate it. Even though comparing is a very natural thing to do, you’ll come away with tips to help yourself when you find your mind wandering.

Comparing is normal. We all do it. But it does not have to be destructive or take over your mind. Don’t miss this episode to learn how to reign in those wandering thoughts that lead nowhere helpful.

Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!

For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, “They look so happy and in love,” only to find out that they had major problems and were going through divorce?

It is likely that couple was engaged in a “polite” marriage. They may check all the boxes and genuinely look very happy together. They may show each other public affection and seem fond of each other. But there are likely issues underneath.

In this episode I go through two different kinds of “polite” marriages and share the differences between the two, and what each one can lead to.

Then I teach the opposite of the polite marriage and what richness and happiness can ensue when courageous people move beyond what feels comfortable and safe.

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Do you wonder if you are settling in your relationship? Do you feel shame and guilt when you think about it?

In this episode, I clear up what it means to settle and help you drop any negative feelings around the idea.

In real examples, you’ll be able to recognize if you have some things to shake up or if your job is to just keep going exactly as you are and keep trusting the process.

Rather than looking for outward signs of settling, you’ll learn what it feels like inside of you, and how to fix any inward signs of settling.

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Do you ever cover up how you feel and what you are thinking? This is called mind masking, and we all do it. In this episode, we’ll dive in to why we all lie, either my commission or omission. But some lies can be more blatant, deliberate and harmful than others.

As deceit is a part of infidelity, understanding it is important. You’ll also learn areas you may not be being completely honest in.

Lastly, you’ll learn how to spot lying and what to do about it.

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For many of us it is easy to give, but harder to receive. Why is this?

In this week’s episode you’ll get an inside look into your brain and why you resist love and other good things. Hint: It is because of your thoughts about you, thoughts about others, or beliefs of how the world works.

Want to know how to become more open to love? And how it is hurting you not to be open to it? Make sure to give this episode a listen.

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In this episode, I interview special guest Ashlee Boyson.

Ashlee Boyson is the author of the blog and book series titled “The Moments We Stand,” in which she shares her family's journey of healing after the infidelity and murder of her husband Emmett in 2011, just months after giving birth to their fifth baby.

Ashlee has been given the unique experience of sharing Emmett’s story on Dateline, Dr. Phil, American Monster, Investigation Discovery, True Crime Daily, and several other murder mystery investigation documentaries.

After feeling alone for many years and fighting to find her voice through the pain, Ashlee now proudly stands as an advocate for victims and families impacted by loss, grief, widowhood, murder, and infidelity. In an effort to help others not feel alone, she has grown to love sharing her story to help shine light on a path for others still stuck in the dark … a place she knows all too well.

Ashlee is the founder of A Reason to Stand -— a nonprofit focused on healing and empowering survivors. She is preparing to launch a series of online courses in May 2022. With a degree from Utah State University in family, child, and human development, Ashlee loves teaching moms about baby sleep and has a passion for all things parenting. She loves helping parents navigate their role in their children’s own healing journey after trauma and loss.

Ashlee is remarried to Scott Boyson and they have recently added two more kids to their full house, totaling 7 kids ages 17, 17, 15, 13, 11, 3 and 1.

Ashlee believes that each day is a gift and feels grateful for the grace and hope she has found in her story. She speaks out to share truth of the light she knows shines within all of us.

https://www.instagram.com/themomentswestand/

https://www.facebook.com/themomentswestand

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For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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Do you ever get frustrated that you are not further along than you think you should be? Do you have moments where you feel like you are back at square one?

While this is all normal, in this episode I will teach you about “the messy middle,” the space between where you are and where you are going. This space can feel very uncomfortable, frustrating, and like you are taking a step backwards.

Listen to understand the crucial steps to moving from the messy middle to the other side where you are healed, happy and feeling like yourself again.

Know in 90 Information Link

https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/

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Do you have thoughts that you can’t seem to keep at bay? You are just going about your day, and something comes to mind that you can’t stop thinking about? Then you need to go ask, or go look at phones, emails and messages on a frantic search for answers. Sound familiar?

Although this is very common, it can be a setback to healing and moving forward. In this episode you will learn the difference between helpful things to watch out for and ones that will lead you nowhere. You will also know what to do with runaway thoughts so you can stay in a peaceful place more of the time.

Know in 90 Information Link

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As common as hearing about mental strength may be, we don’t often hear about it in reference to infidelity. We talk a lot about feelings, healing, forgiveness, and moving on. But where does mental strength come in?

Developing mental toughness is everything when it comes to infidelity. When we get hurt, our brains want to keep us safe from future pain by giving us all the warnings of any real or perceived danger. After experiencing infidelity, it can become difficult to get out of thought loops that play over and over and get you nowhere.

By developing mental strength, you identify what your personal pitfalls are, how to get out of them, how to avoid them, and how to truly move forward with your life.

Listen to this episode to do a check-in with yourself as to how mentally tough you are and locate the areas that can use some more reps. Growing this muscle is what will help you most in truly creating an amazing life post infidelity.

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In the aftermath of infidelity, relationships often change. While there are many reasons for this, it can be painful and lonely. We are all wired for connection - we seek and crave it, yet it can seem harder than ever to make solid friendships.

In this episode, I interview guest Jewel Hohman about the importance of friendship and some practical ways of developing new relationships that last.

Jewel Hohman is a friendship expert and a professionally certified coach. She helps people stop overthinking their relationships and feel confident being themselves, so that they can create the deep friendships they have been craving. Jewel is on a mission to end the loneliness epidemic by having people take back their fundamental needs of connection and community.

Links to Jewel's info:

https://www.instagram.com/jewel.hohman/

https://www.jewelhohman.com

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It is human nature to see faults in others, and much more difficult to see it in ourselves.

In this episode, I’ll teach you why self-confrontation is an essential ingredient to growth, intimacy and healing. We can ask others to tell us what we want to hear, but it does not promote real growth.

Self-confrontation allows us to see ourselves as we really are rather than what we want to see. Even though it can be painful, it allows us to expand into fuller, more mature versions of ourselves.

Listen to hear real examples of self-confronting. Hint - it is very different than self-punishing and can be kind and loving as you’ll hear in the examples in this episode.

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To show up as our best selves in any relationship, we must know how to calm ourselves down when emotions become overwhelming. Many of us have been taught that it is the responsibility of our partner to help calm us when in reality, it is our own.

In this episode, we’ll go in deep as to why learning how to self-soothe ultimately is the greatest gift you can give yourself as you navigate infidelity or any other challenge. When we don’t give someone else responsibility for how we feel, we get to decide how to feel, know how to take care of ourselves, and how to deal with the discomfort of personal growth.

Listen to understand areas where you can increase your ability to self-soothe and why it matters so much.

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In every relationship there will be issues that one of you will care more about than the other. This is normal. Where we get ourselves in trouble is when we get into marital gridlock and stay in it.

In this episode, I will cover various ways high desire/ low desire shows up in marriage and other relationships and why we respond the way we do to our loved ones. When we understand our reactions better, we are better able to decide how we want to show up and stand up for the things that matter to us, even if we are misunderstood.

Showing up in the way shown in this episode will help move things forward- either together or apart. Be sure to listen to see areas you are stalling out in and how you can keep yourself moving and invite those around you to do the same.

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Do you have moments (or days, or weeks) where you feel small, invisible and not at all like “yourself?” As flawed humans, it can be very easy to lose ourselves when faced with conflict yet learning the art of holding onto ourselves is what will help us move forward the most.

In this episode, you’ll learn what it means to hold on to yourself and why this is a game-changer for healing relationships. Instead of deferring to your spouse to let you know who you are and if you are okay, you’ll learn how to validate and strengthen yourself.

Whether you are single or married, this is a vital skill to learn (and one that takes a lifetime of practice). Taking steps toward holding on to yourself will give you peace, clarity and forward motion now, whether he is coming with you or not.

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Every relationship has moments in time that make all the difference in which way the relationship goes. We either show up for ourselves or we don’t. We show up for our spouse or we don’t, and the consequences can be monumental.

In this episode, you’ll learn about “Sliding Door Moments” and how these small snippets in time often determine the direction of our lives. Once we can identify what those moments are (the ones where we self-betray and the ones where either we don’t show up the way we want to or our spouse does not show up for us), we can see what we have made those moments mean. Even more importantly, we can clearly see how those moments have shaped where our current relationships stand.

Only then can we course-correct, communicate more clearly and create the lives we want. Listen to this week’s episode to go deep into what your sliding door moments are and how you can heal them.

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On the healing journey following infidelity, it can feel like you are not making any progress at all. It can be discouraging, overwhelming and downright depressing at times. So how do you know if you are progressing?

Unlike other goals we make like losing pounds, earning a certain amount of money, etc. the healing process is less straight-forward to measure. In this episode, you’ll learn 3 ways to check in with yourself and measure your growth. You’ll be able to identify areas where you have grown, and areas where you may want to focus more attention.

When we have a clear path forward, we begin to see that we can have a life we want to participate in again. We can see that we are coming out from the heaviness we have experienced and opening up to new possibilities.

Listen to this week’s episode to gauge where you are, and what your next step forward is.

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Be sure to listen to this announcement as Andrea will be sharing some upcoming changes that will interrupt the show temporarily.

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In this episode, Andrea is a guest on the “Love Starts Here” podcast with life coach Melissa Snow.

This episode covers the tough topics of how to trust again and whether or not it is a wise decision to do so, and the importance of building up trust in yourself first before deciding to trust someone else.

We also discuss Andrea’s #1 tip for how to decide to stay or leave so you can make that decision without second guessing yourself.

Melissa Snow is a Certified Life Coach who helps women improve their relationships, starting with the one they have with themselves. She is passionate about helping women learn to love and value themselves, so they don’t have to rely on men to show them their worth. She hosts the Love Starts Here podcast, is an international speaker and is the author of “Ten Secrets to Having the Love You Want.”

Find Melissa at:

https://lovestartsherecoach.com/
www.lovestartsherepodcast.com
https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovestartshere
https://www.instagram.com/melissasnow.lovestartshere/

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For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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In this episode, Andrea is interviewed by Life Coach Mikki Gardner about how to put emotion aside and show up as the kind of parent you want to be after infidelity. This will be useful wherever you are on your journey.

When emotions are running high, it can be very difficult to think clearly, especially when it comes to parenting our children. You want what is best for them, but we also may be in “survival mode,” not really seeing the big picture.

This episode will help you navigate the rocky terrain of co-parenting when emotions are high and help you make decisions that you will be proud of.

Listen to the three points Andrea shares that serve as powerful reminders of what is possible for you.

Mikki is the host of the Co-Parenting with Confidence Podcast and has a private one-on-one coaching practice, where she helps moms ditch the conflict and frustration of divorce and become a strong, loving, confident co-parent.

Find more about Mikki Gardner at https://mikkigardner.com/

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For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/

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A few themes of this podcast are that we always have choices even when we feel we don’t, that the hardships we experience can catapult us towards our greatest growth, and that we can create the future we want. In this episode, Andrea gets personal with her recent experience of welcoming a new baby girl into the world and how it has enforced in her mind that things are always working in our favor.

As difficult as infidelity and betrayal can feel, Andrea reminds her listeners that they have a bright, fulfilling future in front of them. Listen to the 3 points Andrea shares that serve as powerful reminders of what is possible for you.

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Does your relationship ever feel so tangled up with your spouse that you don’t know what thoughts and feelings are his and which are yours? In this episode, I interview guest therapist and Master coach Aimeé Gianni about what untangling is, how to spot it, and how to untangle.

Most of us were raised to believe that we are responsible for the feelings of others. “Did you hurt their feelings?” is a question we were probably all asked. The problem this creates is that we can end up spending much more time trying to manage others’ feelings and forget all about our own.

When healing from infidelity, it is crucial to do the work of untangling. It is an exercise in self-trust that allows for letting go of things that are not yours to take responsibility for, while learning to listen to your own thoughts and feelings at a deeper level.

Aimée Gianni, MS, is a Marriage & Family Therapist, and a Master Coach Instructor specializing in Relationships & Health and the connection between the two. She helps her clients create strong, loving, joyful relationships and meaningful lives that they love; full of authenticity, connection, passion, fulfillment, and physical well-being. It’s her favorite thing to do! You can learn more about her work at AimeeGianni.com and follow her on Instagram @aimeegiannims.

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Have you wondered why your spouse strayed and if your marriage can ever be good again? You don’t want to miss this episode.

Show guest Elisa Fucci shares, with transparency and honesty, her experience with infidelity and how her marriage is now better than it ever was before. She shares why she strayed and how she had to go through the difficult work of understanding herself and why she was prone to getting attention outside the marriage.

For those of you who want to stay, but wonder if it’s possible to really feel happy in your marriage, this one is for you. Yes, trust can be re-built. Yes, marriages can thrive after infidelity, even if the marriage was never great to begin with. Listen to this episode to learn what it takes to get there.

Heal from Infidelity: Recent Episodes

Andrea Giles