David’s Thoughts: Recent Episodes

David’s Thoughts

It’s the random impromptu thoughts David has throughout his day Cover art photo provided by Paolo Nicolello on Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/@paul_nic

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A cheap knockoff the real thing, it’s a David’s Thought podcast

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Uniformed uniformed officers of the dumb brigade

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The cats interrupt me on this one. Good thing too, I was planning a murder. But no siree the cats were not gonna have that!

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I fail to understand reality in this one. Send help.

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The mayor Mayonnaise was quickly regretted by the populace as he smelled funny and no knew how past his expiration date he was

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I get down on onion soup mix and devalue Candy Crush in two separate take downs. Also story time.

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Oh where oh where did my thoughts have gone. Oh where oh where could they be?

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I realize I was an idiot and didn't upload something correctly and YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE DAVID'S THIRD THOUGHT!

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When thought gremlins attack!

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I bees back!

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Hiatus? From cheaply some four minute podcasts that take 10 to make? Yep kids, I am sucking big time at getting other stuff dune so this goes on the back burner. Don't worry! It will return in good time. Like, when I get a job and a subsequent commute.

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Who would have thought that a Mars joke would spark an international armed conflict? Not Third Street Elementary School's PE teacher Cheryl Franklin. "Listen, I just meant it to be a lesson on astrophysics but I had no idea that it would have been so offensive." The teacher faces a charge that carries up to four years in a maximum security anti-joke prison.

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Somehow I keep forgetting to publish these. ATTEMPT THREE

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This one was supposed to be uploaded now for two days and have blown it twice in a row. I am so good at this!

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Who doesn't use duct tape as a permanent fix. Never in my life have I ever used duct tape as a temporary fix. Could explain why all the people keep falling off my ceiling though

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Budgeting is a crime now

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Babies are getting high marks for creative crediting and advanced warfare tactics. Well played babies, well played

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Do you ever wonder where your discarded q-tips go? I'm not talking about the ones you keep to make shrines to your favorite actor or whatever. Wait, I'm the only one who does this?

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So you find the dog in the living room with the end of a broken shovel. It's covered in powdered sugar. The dog turns to you and says, "that's gonna be a sticky mess. Care to help out?"

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We all know someone who is really good at not being really good at anything. Perhaps that's who I am

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Feel the burn of tasty Asian host sauce

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Call the experimenter before they get out of control!

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You've heard of____, get ready for ____

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Pablo Casals, who performed at the UN recently, is 81. He agreed to have Robert Snyder make a movie short, “A Day in the Life of Pablo Casals.” Snyder asked Casals, the world’s foremost cellist, why he continues to practice four and five hours a day. Casals answered: “Because I think I am making progress.”

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When it's all said and done, we will always remember our worst nights of Mexican food diahrea

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The babies' demands are extensive and unwavering. Your government promises to defend ourselves from the pink nemesis as long as we must.

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RUSSIAN-INFECTED SOFTWARE 20% OFF!!!

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Cats make for the best thoughts

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Honesty is not the best policy when seeking an answer to a dumb question

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Does anyone ever grow up wanting to sell traffic signs?

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Open format office, never worked in one, but how are you expected to effectively fight someone to the death over poorly designed network folder hierarchy with people all around?

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Minions just say the darndest things

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Cats are holy, blameless creatures

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Dole Pineapple chunks are a great form of currency if you think about it

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Ah the memories of growing up overseas

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I wish I was a pen salesman. Do you know how much fun that would be? Wait, hold on, I mean the opposite of “fun”. Well, I guess it would be fun to sell to pen affectianados, but that sounds...weird

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“Creativity feeding tube” is a thing now. Go ahead, look it up on Urban Dictionary

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UPS boxes make for the lamest nightmare fuel

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Woodland body disposal is a serious problem

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Late Night Amazon purchases are always a weird way to end the day.

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Jello is a substance that needs more utilization in sculpting

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The FDA has not tested this podcast’s edibility. You have been warned

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How do you like your eggs? And oh look at that! I labeled TWO episodes with the same number. Oops, now prepare for the entire collapse of society

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I’m concerned with how many I came up with in the span of 20 minutes...

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DO NOT try this if you work at a pen factory. You’ll never stop and you’ll need help

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I’m never gonna get this down

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When I want I’ll just publish misfires as well. YOU CAN’T STOP ME

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It’s raining and you’re scared of scientists now

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Microwaves suck to design bro

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On the attraction and repulsion of cat’s affections

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Oh dear there’s more of these

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The first of many impromptu unedited thoughts