Welcome to the Second Mix Podcast where creators and aspiring entrepreneurs go to reflect, revise, and remix their lives and find the mindset they need to thrive without conforming. My name is Matthew Bennett, and I was a miserable fool until I discovered all this stuff and "turned on" my life. Now I’m passing it on and paying it forward.Personal development & self-improvement information, book summaries, and sometimes I say funny things.
Ready to redefine success in your life and pivot towards a path of true significance? In this episode, host Matt Bennett sits down with Paul Epstein, an expert in building unshakable confidence and a purpose-driven leader, to share game-changing insights that you won't find in your usual self-help books.
Find out more about Paul, and find the tools we spoke about in the episode, at paulepsteinspeaks.com.
🌟 Why Listen?
If you've ever felt stuck, unmotivated, or just in need of a different perspective, this episode offers actionable tools and thought-provoking insights that could be your first step to a breakthrough. Tune in and take your confidence—and your life—to the next level.
Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!
Website: SecondMix.net
Email Me: matt@secondmix.net
REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with the MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering GOAL MASTERY for Real Estate Professionals. Your business gets better as YOU get better! Sign Up Now
Imagine harnessing the singular focus of a character like Liam Neeson's Brian Mills in 'Taken', and applying it to your entrepreneurial journey. In the episode, we explore this concept, discussing the power of unwavering determination in achieving one's goals. Drawing from the film's narrative, we underscore the importance of cutting through the drama and distractions to get the job done, a mindset every entrepreneur and business owner can benefit from.
As the conversation evolves, we pivot to a personal anecdote about mastering the game of chess, another metaphorical exploration of strategic focus and planning. The essence of chess—concentrating on the ultimate objective of checkmate—parallels the approach of categorizing life goals into daily steps and habits. We dive into this transformational journey, how it's reshaped life over the last four years, and present practical insights to help you apply these principles. Reach out at matt@secondmixnet.com with your thoughts, struggles, or questions about goal setting or any other topic. Let's sculpt your life, one goal at a time.
Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!
Website: SecondMix.net
Email Me: matt@secondmix.net
REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with the MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering personal development for business owners. Your business gets better as YOU get better!
Ever wondered what it takes to become the person that a private money lender can't wait to lend money to? Get ready to redefine your journey to success with me as we traverse the enlightening world of real estate investing. I share how I used real estate investing as a stepping stone for personal development, transforming into a more reliable and dependable individual, and becoming something new.
We'll explore how the real estate community, coupled with a healthy thirst for knowledge in business, personal development, and social sciences, can open the floodgates to success. You'll hear about my experiences and how I managed to set myself for success by asking the right questions.
Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!
Website: SecondMix.net
Email Me: matt@secondmix.net
REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with the MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering personal development for business owners. Your business gets better as YOU get better!
Prepare your mind to be enthralled as we sit down with the phenomenal Pete Mohr, a certified business-made-simple coach, owner of ShoeTopia and a seasoned business broker. With almost thirty years in the business world, Pete has a unique understanding of business dynamics and shares his philosophy that you shouldn’t be owned by your business but be its owner. We delve into the nitty-gritty of transitioning from being operator-bound to becoming an owner, discussing the alignment of products, processes, and people to your business's promise.
Ever wondered how to transform your frustrations in business into freedoms? Pete Mohr has got you covered! In this insightful conversation, he elaborates on his philosophy, demystifying how to turn business frustrations into freedoms and the importance of understanding the promise you make to yourself and your customers for a clear business structure. Pete's 'love it or leave it' philosophy is something every business owner should aspire to adopt, as it encourages working in what he calls a 'love zone', effectively making life and business more enjoyable.
We round up this enlightening conversation exploring the significance of communication, process management, and accountability in freeing you and your team for growth. Using references from 'Traction' by Gina Wipman and the EOS Entrepreneurial Operating System, Pete illustrates how an accountability chart can be far more effective than an organizational chart. We also delve into how to create systems that can morph frustrations into freedoms, helping business owners identify areas of change, align systems with business promises, and create replicable processes tailored for business growth. Tune into this episode to discover how you can maximize business efficiency, achieve a better work-life balance, and transition from feeling overwhelmed and overworked to experiencing the freedoms you richly deserve as a business owner.
Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!
Website: SecondMix.net
Email Me: matt@secondmix.net
REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with the MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering personal development for business owners. Your business gets better as YOU get better!
Constantin's Podcast: Unleash Thyself
In this thought-provoking episode, Matt and Constantin dive deep into personal growth, self-discovery, and the power of mindset. They explore the concept of having a clear vision while being open to iterations and adjustments along the way. Drawing inspiration from philosopher Albert Schweitzer, they discuss the importance of continually learning and growing as human beings.
The conversation touches on the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset, emphasizing the value of learning from past mistakes and practicing self-forgiveness. Constantin shares his approach of self-reflection and self-love, using techniques like meditation and journaling to gain clarity and release negative emotions. They discuss the significance of aligning goals with one's personal why and making choices that resonate with their mission.
While Constantin's podcast primarily features interviews with guests who share their experiences and insights, this episode highlights key themes that foster personal development and empower listeners to embrace their own journeys. From forgiveness to intention-setting, this conversation offers valuable perspectives on cultivating a growth mindset, making conscious choices, and creating a fulfilling life aligned with one's values and purpose.
Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!
Website: SecondMix.net
Email Me: matt@secondmix.net
Sign up to REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with this MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering critical mindset info for Entrepreneurs, Real Estate Professionals, and YOU.
Ever found yourself wondering why traditional meditation techniques don't seem to resonate with you? What if the key to effective meditation is simply finding your unique approach to staying present? I, your host, struggled to see the value in conventional meditation until I discovered my unorthodox methods that involve hiking and playing the piano. Just as a hiker navigates through the trails, I guide you through my journey, highlighting how essential it is to welcome the wandering mind and celebrate when it's caught, rather than reprimanding it.
I introduce a mantra that I discovered: "When you catch yourself wandering, congratulate yourself for catching it and then get back to the task." This central theme resonates through the episode as I uncover the power of 'Relax and Struggle,' a concept prevalent in sports, arts, and trades. Understand how the mind and the body can both move freely when tension is released. I share how the mantra, my unconventional meditation techniques, and maintaining a relaxed state amidst struggles have helped me deal with negative thoughts and stay resilient during challenges. Come join me in this enlightening dialogue, and perhaps, you'll find a fresh perspective on how to manage your struggles with grace and ease.
Support the Show: Buy Me A Coffee!
Website: SecondMix.net
Email Me: matt@secondmix.net
Sign up to REFLECT, REVISE, and REMIX your life and business with this MONTHLY Second Mix Newsletter covering critical mindset info for Entrepreneurs, Real Estate Professionals, and YOU.
Find Chris at bloggerevolution.com. Master the ins and outs of blogging and affiliate marketing with our guest, Chris. Buckle up as we journey through the digital domain of website investing, buying, and selling websites. Discover how you can create a lucrative stream of passive income by generating content that ranks high on Google, and positioning your products in front of a vast audience.
Delve into Chris's personal journey from working a typical nine-to-five to becoming a full-time blogger and affiliate marketer. Absorb his insightful tips on crafting content that resonates with the audience and learn how to play the Google game like a pro. Gain wisdom on personal and business development, understanding the importance of specificity when communicating on platforms like podcasts and YouTube.
Last but not least, let's unravel the importance of specific branding. Chris discusses how to distill your brand into a few words and why a crystal clear understanding of your brand is a game-changer when marketing yourself. This episode promises to be a journey of discovery into the world of blogging, affiliate marketing, and making wise investments in the digital space. Don't miss out on this opportunity to learn, grow, and maybe even transform your income stream!
Buy Me A Coffee!
SecondMix.net
matt@secondmix.net
Buy Me A Coffee!
SecondMix.net
matt@secondmix.net
This is a special podcast I wrote as a follow-up after visiting Mrs. Webb's third-grade classroom to speak about what I do.
It was a wonderful experience, the children asked a lot of good questions, and had a lot of great insights already into what it takes to become better, stronger, and wiser.
It's my hope to do more events like this in my life!
Merit Kahn is...
CEO of SELLect Sales Development.
Sales & Business Development expert.
Certified Emotional Intelligence expert.
Certified Speaking Professional.
Entrepreneur since 1998.
Author.
Stand-up comedian.
Writer, producer and performer of a one-woman inspiring comedy show.
Single mom of a teen.
Find out more at https://meritkahn.com/podcast/
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😃Personal Development for Entrepreneurs 📚
📨 Email: matt@secondmix.net
🌎 Website https://secondmix.net
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🚨 Subscribe to this YouTube channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
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Welcome to the Second Mix Podcast - get ready to reflect, revise, and remix your life with personal development ideas and concepts for entrepreneurs. At the root of all business development is personal development - your business gets better as YOU get better!
I want to share a ton of value with you about self-improvement, marketing, business development, reading, learning, and everything else you would ever need to know about improving your business as an entrepreneur. Subscribe ▶ and tap the bell 🛎 for notifications so you can be the first to know about the most recent videos to help you in your business journey. 😁
Richard Friesen works with professionals and business leaders who want to increase their personal effectiveness with joy and grace. His neuroscience-based Mind Muscles™ model gives his clients the opportunity to reach their goals with online training, simulations, interactive exercises, group support, and real-time decision processes.
Richard has been a futures broker for Merrill Lynch, a floor trader on the CME, CBOT, and the options floor of the Pacific Exchange where he built and sold a successful options trading firm where he served on the Exchange's board of directors. He also founded and built a financial software company and is the inventor of ten significant trading interface patents. This combined with his Master’s Degree in Clinical Psychology, Neurolinguistics Programing Master’s certification, and neuroscience focus, brings a unique framework to business, investing, and career success.
Rich is building a Money-Positive community with his book “A Private Conversation with Money” and his online course. This book observes the main character “Joe” who deals with all the conflicts, self-sabotage and belief systems around money and wealth.
https://conversations.money/wealth/
rich@mindmuscles.com
https://conversations.money/
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😃Personal Development for Entrepreneurs 📚
📨 Email: matt@secondmix.net
🌎 Website https://secondmix.net
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🚨 Subscribe to this YouTube channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
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Welcome to the Second Mix Podcast - get ready to reflect, revise, and remix your life with personal development ideas and concepts for entrepreneurs. At the root of all business development is personal development - your business gets better as YOU get better!
🛠️⚙️Get my #1 Favorite Tool on the internet!!!
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For almost I had the wrong kind of hope and faith - and it wasted a major portion of my life. Make sure your hope and faith are based on the right things, or you may find yourself in the same position as I was. Follow this journey of time-wasting, goal-setting, and honest-to-goodness personal development - and find out about THE RIGHT KIND OF HOPE! (WARNING: THIS EPISODE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH RELIGION!!!)
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😃Personal Development for Real Estate Agents,
Real Estate Investors, and Other Entrepreneurs 📚
📨 Email: matt@secondmix.net
🌎 Website https://secondmix.net
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🚨 Subscribe to this YouTube channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
======
Welcome to the Second Mix Podcast - get ready to reflect, revise, and remix your life with personal development ideas and concepts for real estate investors, real estate agents, and other entrepreneurs. At the root of all business development is personal development - your business gets better as YOU get better!
🛠️⚙️Get my #1 Favorite Tool on the internet!!!
Limited-time offer - FREE LIFETIME ACCOUNT! Get it HERE https://bit.ly/3iSTXQr
🔗Free websites and site designer, free funnels, course creator, e-commerce platform, and more - save 💰💰💰hundreds 💵💵💵 a month!
======
MATT BENNETT, REALTOR®
Joe Herbert Realty
Office: 814-217-1900
Equal Housing Opportunity
Pennsylvania License #RS360939
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Eric is an enthusiastic and engaging storyteller who genuinely loves deep conversations about human beings: especially in regard to topics like motivation, happiness, and self-actualization. He has an abundance of life experiences to draw upon including things as varied as pursuing a music career in Nashville, backpacking over 500 miles of the Appalachian Trail, volunteering in a hospital, completing an Ironman triathlon (after three attempts), and finally meeting and marrying the love of his life, Samantha.
ericteplitz.com
Eric offers one-on-one coaching for those wishing to get "unstuck" in some area of their lives, or who simply want to experience a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Brand new: Eric's online course "Opening to Greater Possibilities" is now available! For info: ericteplitz.thinkific.com
(Second Mix Podcast Episode 83)
🚨 Subscribe to the YouTube channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
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THE SECOND MIX PODCAST: https://secondmix.net
This is the Second Mix Podcast - a dose of personal development leading to personal growth. My philosophy is that personal development is business development and that mindset, especially a success mindset, is the primary factor that leads to self-improvement and successful entrepreneurs. I like to talk about things that matter with people who care as well as bring you some old-school motivation and valuable information from the original masters of inspiration Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, and more. These guys helped me turn my life around in just a couple years, I've 5Xed my income, improved my relationships with my wife and kids, and I've completely changed my entire network - and so much more! I use this podcast to tell you how I did it, the thinking behind it, and as a way to get to meet great new people who are all moving forward by helping people become more than they are.
Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better - Jim Rohn
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SUBSCRIBE TO THIS CHANNEL HERE: https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
✅ https://secondmix.net
This is my personal take on book summaries - Is it better to read books or summaries? When is it okay to read the summary? When should I read the whole book? What kind of value can I get out of a summary? I dig into why sometimes it's better to read the whole book, and sometimes summaries can be immensely helpful!
(Second Mix Podcast Episode 82)
🚨 Subscribe to this channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
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Save hundreds a month and earn thousands more… but for a limited time only:
THE SECOND MIX PODCAST: https://secondmix.net
This is the Second Mix Podcast - a dose of personal development leading to personal growth. My philosophy is that personal development is business development and that mindset, especially a success mindset, is the primary factor that leads to self-improvement and successful entrepreneurs. I like to talk about things that matter with people who care as well as bring you some old-school motivation and valuable information from the original masters of inspiration Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, and more. These guys helped me turn my life around in just a couple years, I've 5Xed my income, improved my relationships with my wife and kids, and I've completely changed my network - and so much more! I use this podcast to tell you how I did it, the thinking behind it, and as a way to get to meet great new people who are all moving forward by helping people become more than they are.
Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better - Jim Rohn
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SUBSCRIBE TO THIS CHANNEL HERE: https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
✅ https://secondmix.net
A Second Mix Book Jam on The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson! Do you have goals that you really want to accomplish, but your habits aren't taking you there? You might need a tiny shift in your philosophy. This book will help you get it. Listen to the summary and review, and decide for yourself if you should read this. I would encourage you to do so.
🚨 Subscribe to this channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
Special opportunity for my YouTube friends... my #1 Favorite Tool on the internet!!!
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THE SECOND MIX PODCAST: https://secondmix.net
This is the Second Mix Podcast - a dose of personal development leading to personal growth. My philosophy is that personal development is business development and that mindset, especially a success mindset, is the primary factor that leads to self-improvement. I like to talk about things that matter with people who care as well as bring you some old-school motivation and valuable information from the original masters of inspiration Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, and more. These guys helped me turn my life around in just a couple years, I've 5X my income, improved my relationships with my wife and kids, and I've completely changed my entire network - and so much more! I use this podcast to tell you how I did it, the thinking behind it, and as a way to get to meet great new people who are all moving forward by helping people become more than they are.
Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better - Jim Rohn
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
SUBSCRIBE TO THIS CHANNEL HERE: https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
✅ https://secondmix.net
The ups and downs of life can be frustrating. The down times seem long, and the up times are sometimes dampened by the fact that you know it won't last. How can you handle these "winters" of your life? Here are four thoughts and strategies that have been incredibly helpful to me for the past few years, allowing me to grow faster than I imagined was possible.
🚨 Subscribe to the YouTube channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
Special opportunity for my YouTube friends... my #1 Favorite Tool on the internet!!!
Limited time offer… Groove.cm Is now FREE FOR LIFE!
https://groovepages.groovesell.com/a/WyCWNKHvu1Se
Forget all the complicated, expensive, and mediocre website creators and funnel builders.
Get the BEST software tools in the industry for FREE!
Save hundreds a month and earn thousands more… but for a limited time only:
THE SECOND MIX PODCAST: https://secondmix.net
This is the Second Mix Podcast - a dose of personal development leading to personal growth. My philosophy is that personal development is business development and that mindset, especially a success mindset, is the primary factor that leads to self-improvement. I like to talk about things that matter with people who care as well as bring you some old-school motivation and valuable information from the original masters of inspiration Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, and more. These guys helped me turn my life around in just a couple years, I've 5X my income, improved my relationships with my wife and kids, and I've completely changed my entire network - and so much more! I use this podcast to tell you how I did it, the thinking behind it, and as a way to get to meet great new people who are all moving forward by helping people become more than they are.
Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better - Jim Rohn
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SUBSCRIBE TO THIS CHANNEL HERE: https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
✅ https://secondmix.net
Some personal development and career development advice from author (and so much more) Mark Herschberg. Creator of the Brain Bump App, we talk about how to get a little bit better every day, as well as working on expanding your "short side" and how that helps change your life.
🚨 Subscribe to this channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
Mark Herschberg is the author of The Career Toolkit: Essential Skills for Success That No One Taught You and creator of the Brain Bump app. From tracking criminals and terrorists on the dark web to creating marketplaces and new authentication systems, Mark has spent his career launching and developing new ventures at startups and Fortune 500s and in academia, with over a dozen patents to his name.
https://www.thecareertoolkitbook.com/
He helped to start the Undergraduate Practice Opportunities Program, dubbed MIT’s “career success accelerator,” where he teaches annually. At MIT, he received a B.S. in physics, a B.S. in electrical engineering & computer science, and a M.Eng. in electrical engineering & computer science, focusing on cryptography.
At Harvard Business School, Mark helped create a platform used to teach finance at prominent business schools. He also works with many non-profits, currently serving on the board of Plant A Million Corals.
He was one of the top-ranked ballroom dancers in the country and now lives in New York City, where he is known for his social gatherings, including his annual Halloween party, as well as his diverse cufflink collection.
THE SECOND MIX PODCAST
✅ https://secondmix.net
This is the Second Mix Podcast - a dose of personal development leading to personal growth. My philosophy is that personal development is business development and that mindset, especially a success mindset, is the primary factor that leads to self-improvement.
I like to talk about things that matter with people who care as well as bring you some old-school motivation and valuable information from the original masters of inspiration Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, and more. These guys helped me turn my life around in just a couple years, I've 5X my income, improved my relationships with my wife and kids, and I've completely changed my entire network - and so much more!
I use this podcast to tell you how I did it, the thinking behind it, and as a way to get to meet great new people who are all moving forward by helping people become more than they are.
Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better - Jim Rohn
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
SUBSCRIBE TO THIS CHANNEL HERE: https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
🚨 Subscribe to the YouTube channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
Dave is the founder of Positive Polarity and grew his start-up business into a $10 Million company before selling it. He now passes the principles of his success onto his clients so that they too can succeed and grow.
Dave is also a #1 Amazon Best Seller of the book, Growing On Purpose: The Formula to Strengthen Your Team AND Improve Your Customer Experience. In his book, Dave brings together extensive business experience to show readers how to combine team strength (achieved through intentional communication) and positive, individualized customer experiences to achieve a fully engaged business. Dave is an expert at business development skills.
https://www.positivepolarity.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidmolenda/
THE SECOND MIX PODCAST
This is the Second Mix Podcast - a dose of personal development leading to personal growth. My philosophy is that personal development is business development and that mindset, especially a success mindset, is the primary factor that leads to self-improvement. I like to talk about things that matter with people who care as well as bring you some old-school motivation and valuable information from the original masters of inspiration Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, and more. These guys helped me turn my life around in just a couple of years, I've 5X my income, improved my relationships with my wife and kids, and I've completely changed my entire network - and so much more! I use this podcast to tell you how I did it, the thinking behind it, and as a way to get to meet great new people who are all moving forward by helping people become more than they are.
Don't wish things were easier, wish you were better - Jim Rohn
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
SUBSCRIBE TO THIS CHANNEL HERE: https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
✅ https://secondmix.net
In this fascinating interview, we talk about personal development, self-sabotage, Yoda, and so much more. Learn how to meditate without being totally bored, and especially learn how to not connect so much personal meaning to things out of your control. Take control of your life, and use the advantage of your thoughts to put true meaning into your life with inspiration.
🚨 Subscribe to the Youtube channel here: 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
✅ https://bit.ly/3RPAkUG
We dig into personal growth and mindset - with the surprising news that these don't always work if you don't take care of your mental wellness as you work on your success.
From our guest:
"Hi, my name’s Nate Rifkin. Over a decade ago, I battled suicidal thoughts. My financial life was a mess, I felt alone, and I drank a mix of vodka and an energy drink in the mornings to get me through the day. Worst of all, my mind was my enemy, constantly tearing me down.
This, by the way, was after I dedicated myself to the most common self-help practices you’ll find today. I did the visualizing, made the vision boards, set the goals, and my life still disintegrated into a disgusting dumpster fire.
I’m grateful it happened because my inner pain pushed me into a spiritual path. This path, mostly derived from the Daoist tradition, saved my life. It helped me revive my career. Best of all, it transformed my mind from an enemy into an ally.
I’ve written a book about my journey, called The Standing Meditation. It gives step-by-step directions for performing the Daoist meditation that changed my life. Within days of publishing my book, it became a #1 New Release on Amazon in multiple categories."
You can read the first chapter for free, right here: https://bit.ly/3RMk0Ei"
Get the book here: www.thestandingmeditation.com
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Join me in a conversation with leadership coach and author Emily Sander as we dive into effective decision-making, communicating, and more. An enlightening conversation with an enlightening guest. Comment below and be sure to get an answer from me!
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Emily Sander is a C-Suite Executive and Founder of Next Level Coaching. As an ICF-Certified Coach, she guides clients toward new perspectives that enable them to adapt and evolve as leaders. She is the author of the book, Hacking Executive Leadership.
EMILY's PAGE https://www.nextlevel.coach/
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Author and TED speaker Nathaniel A. Turner, JD, MALS, is a self-described “Humanity Propulsion Engineer.” Nate is the author of several books, including the children’s book series, “The Amazing World of STEM,” and his history-making book, “Raising Supaman.”
https://www.nathanielaturner.com/
Turner’s appeared in many media outlets, including The Washington Post, Black Enterprise, iHeartRadio, The Good Men Project, Sirius XM, and U.S. News & World Report. Corporations, municipalities, and NGOs like Anthem, Inc., the National Collegiate Athletic Association, the City of Indianapolis, and the National Society of Black Engineers invite Nate to share his practical message for living the life we’ve always imagined while also serving the greater good.
A modern-day Renaissance Man, as evidenced by the diversity of his education, including a bachelor's in accounting, masters in history and theology, and doctor of jurisprudence combined with a wide range of personal experiences and professions, are only part of what makes his wide-ranging presentations “can’t miss” events. What truly sets Nate apart from others is his unique oft times comical ability not only to see the world differently but to challenge his audiences in an edutaining way to live outside the box so that the world might be able to experience us at our very best.
As a zealous advocate that every person has an opportunity to maximize their human potential, Nate regularly shares through books, courses, workshops, and conferences a backward design life process initially created to help his unborn child become a great global citizen and meet the rigorous educational requirements of the top colleges and universities without means of wealth, privilege, legacy status, fraud, bribery, cheating or Adobe Photoshop.
Turner’s son not only met Harvard’s admission benchmarks (i.e., test scores in the top 1%, 33 college credits by his junior year, proficiency in four languages, left home after his junior year to play soccer in Brazil; and started a foundation to address teen homelessness); he eviscerated the profiled criterion by his sixteenth birthday. At present, Turner’s son is a third-year Electrical and Computer Engineering Ph.D. candidate at one of the world’s premier graduate engineering schools. Today, those tools, techniques, and strategies initially created to help his Gen Zer thrive in the Fourth Industrial Revolution are educational and life development staples for students and parents of all ages and organizations worldwide.
When you hear Nathaniel, not only will it be obvious why he is a highly sought-after speaker, you will never be the same. Moreover, there is little doubt that those in the audience will leave with a renewed commitment to live the life they’ve always imagined while doing their part to leave the earth better than it was when they arrived.
Our guest today is Shana Francesca, an interior designer, and a life designer. She's full of helpful information for just about everyone. We cover a lot in this episode, but most importantly, We talk about getting crystal clear on the story you want your life to tell.
Shana is a speaker, writer and entrepreneur. As the Founder and Lead Designer at Concinnate, a multi-discipline interior design and life design firm working with clients around the world. Shana believes our present and future are transformed when we infuse our lives with intention, we design our lives and accept our role as the author of our story.
Concinnate
Second Mix Website
David R. Edwards worked his way through school eventually achieving a BA in Business and MBA in Healthcare Administration. He served mostly lower-income people on 3 continents over the last 35 years and is familiar with the challenges and unfairness of life. In 2018 while working with doctors, dentists, counselors, and community health workers he had an epiphany. The core challenge most people have is to generate the personal drive to direct their own life, enduring principles to guide, and the most current science-based tools to assist them through a bumpy and messy life. His first book “New You! Who Knew?” is an attempt to put in writing an easy-to-digest and implement guide that builds confidence, esteem, and self-compassion in balance.
www.davidredwards.com
David's website has links to buy the e-book or paperback. The audiobook will be available later this year. The blog has lots of useful information and application of the principles for daily life.
Second Mix Links:
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What is your personal brand? How do others perceive you in the day-to-day?
Today we have personal branding consultant Pako Moshaga with some very practical advice on negative scripts, leadership, and self-image. He also gives us an exercise that will open your eyes to how people truly perceive you.
Pako Moshaga Links:
LinkedIn
Facebook
Second Mix Links:
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One of the foremost causes of adversity is other people. Let's face it - we all want different things. Even if we're on the same team, heading for the same goal, we have different ideas on how to get there. All of this causes conflict.
My guest today is Jerry Fu, a coach and conflict resolution specialist - and he's got some very practical advise for conflict resolution, as well as some excellent productivity tips - and he's ready to share it all with us in 5...4...3...2...1
Jerry Fu Links:
LinkedIn
www.adaptingleaders.com
Second Mix Links:
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Jeff Smith, The KPI Guy talks about measuring your progress with key performance indicators. Jeff is on record as the most successful author in history on KPI and Business Management. Find Jeff and all his books, plus a TON of other valuable tools at jeff-smith.com
my links!
www.SecondMix.net
matt@secondmix.net
The Facebook Page
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Second Mix is back for season 2!
I was in the hospital for 25 days out of a 45-day period in February and March of this year.
This episode is about how it affected my personal journey and some of the things that I learned about how personal development actually works.
Matt Bennett
Hello listeners! It's been a great season, from February to September, and this has been a really fun process for me - starting a podcast and learning how to do it. It was also a major lesson in consistency. I can't wait to start it all again next year - more guests, and more of everything else you've been hearing the past 8 months.
During the break, I will still be posting - not consistently, not every Monday and Thursday. But if I meet someone amazing that I want to interview, I'm going to put it out there and not wait until February. And when I have new thoughts and ideas to share with you, I'm just going to get those out there too. No sense waiting to share good information.
I've also got some guest interviews recorded and almost ready to roll out, so I will put those out as I have time to complete them - make sure you listen to those, because as the season went on I grew as an interviewer and was able to create more and more value with each episode.
So stay tuned, and if you 've been clicking the social media links to get to this podcast, now would be a great time to subscribe. You can also buy me a coffee to help me get prepared for next season - just go to secondmix.net, and click buy me a coffee to support the show. I'm not reaching out to advertisers, or selling anything on the show, so that would be a great way to help keep this thing going.
Thank you so much for listening. I'm going to leave you with a song that I wrote and recorded. You've been hearing it all year as my intro music. My wife named this song Let Us Have Sexiness. So here we go.
Keep reflecting, revising, and remixing your lives - thank you so much for being a part of this. I'll see you soon!
When I was with the "wrong" people, not only was my mindset wrong, but it was seriously affecting my desires, my goals, my mission, and my vision for my life. It all works together. Any moment you choose, you can begin looking for the exact people you need to stop procrastinating and start getting what you want out of life. Whether they are friends, mentors, coaches, or mastermind groups, it is well worth finding the people who will carry you with them.
Buy Me A Coffee!
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HOW. The most important question you can ask yourself when you run up against a stone wall. How do I get this done? How do I get through this? How do I learn this skill? How can I run this business successfully? How do I meet the right people? How do I talk to those people?
The other word is UNTIL. As Jim Rohn always asked, how long should it take a baby to learn how to walk? How long would you give your average baby? How long before you said, “okay, never mind. It’s just not gonna happen.” Any parents listening would call me crazy. “My kid is going to keep working at it until he learns how to walk.” Until is a powerful word that inspires perseverance and rugged effort.
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If you ever feel stuck, and can't seem to get to your goals FOR WHATEVER REASON, there are methods and steps you can follow - and my framework is just one of dozens - you don't have to choose mine, but you really should choose at least one that you like.
I break everything down into six categories, and you can compare your current situation to the list and see where you might be able to step up your game, break through the barrier, and get closer to your dream.
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Sam Thiara is a professional who has created a personal journey as a storyteller, writer, workshop facilitator, problem solver, educator, and entrepreneur. His goal is to engage individuals in their personal and professional development. A perfect guest for this show, Sam helps me make some important discoveries about goals and intentions.
Sam's Links
As for ways people can find me:
Website – http://sam-thiara.com
Linked In - https://www.linkedin.com/in/sthiara/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/samthiara/
Twitter- https://twitter.com/notifications
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sam.thiara.site
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A recent incident I had with a horrible mindset, and what I did to correct it. I also include advice to a friend with five steps to removing negative scripts, self-made conspiracy theories, and limiting beliefs.
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Choose what you focus on! If you say yes to anything, you are saying no to a lot of other things. There are only a handful of personal development principles, and when we work on any of these, we are working on the same things that the top executives and leaders are working on in their own lives. Things like focus, making sure you can say no to the good things, so you you can say yes to the great things, and how to find out where your strengths are.
I’m excited to have executive coach John Chilkotowsky with us!
Northstar Coaching
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How does a small action from high school come back to surprise me 27 years later? And how does a cute magic trick come back as a big silver belt buck in 12 months. The ripple affects me and it affects you - you can't escape the effect, but you can choose the energy.
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Summary and review of the book Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang.
A little bit of a format change for this episode, here are some stories about times I've been rejected, and the toll it took on my life.
In the middle of a huge battle of wills between my wife and me, I got angry and went for a walk in the woods. What I chose to listen to that day changed the course of my life, and is still changing it 2 1/2 years later. Don't miss the lessons I learned, or how I wasted almost 30 years of my life.
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This is a special day - something I’ve never quite done before. On Thursday, I did a book jam episode on the book Swipe Right On Your Best Self by author and leadership coach Eric Winters, and today I got to interview the author himself. In our brief conversation, he covers so much ground - self-leadership, the normality of anxiety, taking things one day and one step at a time, positive thinking, and so much more.
Eric's Links:
ericwinters.com
Swipe Right on Your Best Self
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Book Jam - A review, summary, of Eric Winter's book Swipe Right On Your Best Self.
It’s so hard to categorize life in a way that makes sense. Life is too big to fit into a little container that we can study and understand it. That’s why there are so many books on the topic – too many for me to read in a lifetime, though I’ll still try. I like to study the way authors categorize things in their own minds and try to make it simple for the readers, and Winters does a brilliant job of both – made even better by the wide variety of concepts he covers.
ericwinters.com
Swipe Right on Your Best Self
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I find as I go through my day that there are times I’m not feeling at my best, and I begin to look for reasons why. I will scan my environment hoping to find some reason to be a victim. When my eyes are open for a right to be angry, I will find one. A big part of mindset work is dealing with this part of us that searches for the negative, searches for victimhood, and searches for ways to take offense. But what if the offense is real, what if it’s so glaringly obvious that someone has done something that cannot be ignored? What if you have a real right to be angry? Let’s explore.
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Have you ever felt like there was something huge inside you and you simply couldn’t find a way to let it out? Like you have great things in store for your life, but you can’t find your path? Our guest today, speaker and author Robert Raymond Riopel, can help you discover your inner greatness, as well as help you find that path. Keep your ears open for one of the best analogies I’ve ever heard about what happens to us with social media.
Robert's Link!
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When I bought the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, it was based on a complete misunderstanding of what the term digital minimalism meant. I had my life cluttered up with digital files all over – my computer, cloud drives, files for everything. Saved articles, ideas, and so much more - my online life was far more cluttered than I allowed my home to be. I’ll admit – I was an online hoarder. And I needed help. I found this book and assumed that the answer was inside. What the book was actually about did far more to enhance my life than my mistaken assumption. Let’s talk about that.
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I’m reading the book Daring Greatly by Brené Brown – and I will be doing a Book Jam episode with all I learned. But something very rare happened to me during my time reading – it’s a book about vulnerability, and I hit a section that absolutely exposed me – she nailed a problem that I had been dealing with for a long, long time, and gave a name to it. She calls it Rehearsing Tragedy. It’s something I struggle with still, and I want to talk about it today.
What would your life be like if you tried one new thing every month? That was the big question I had for my guest today. Her name is Ann Bingham, entrepreneur and author of the book The One New Thing Project which releases tomorrow - August 1st, 2021. In our interview, I got to explore the fact that I don’t have to go hang gliding or mountain climbing, or do anything dangerous in order to try new things. Any new thing opens up neural pathways that give you a wider range of experience and knowledge and eventually lend to your overall range of capabilities. And any new failure can teach that failing doesn’t have to be devastating.
Ann's Links
The One New Thing Project
hello@ann-bingham.com
Instagram.com/myonenewthing
Facebook.com/myonenewthing
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The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath summary and thoughts.
The Power of Moments explores the defining moments of our lives, questions whether the moments can actually be created, and goes on to answer with dozens of examples of individuals and groups who did that very thing. Through this process, the Heath brothers teach us how we can create our own moments, and all the elements we require to do it. As always I’ve got seven things to give you today. 3 things I learned, 3 things I’m going to change after reading the book, and the 1 most important passage.
[[[What are Book Jams?]]]
You can't do everything you learn in every book, all at one time. But you can focus on a few important things. Book Jams break down books, classes, or seminars into 7 digestible, actionable points:
3 things I learned
3 things I'll change in my life as a result of reading the book
1 most important sentence in the book
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We can't know everything right now - only time can refine our vision. But we can get more and more clear every day. Our goals, our mission, our vision, and our purpose work together to build a life well-lived.
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The War of Art by Steven Pressfield Summary
In previous episodes, I’ve talked about the Base. The Base is the lowest form of life. It’s what we would become if we strived for nothing. And it’s the negative that is constantly pulling against us. Gravity. The Normal Negative. In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield calls this force The Resistance. He says, “The Resistance cannot be seen, touched, heard, or smelled. But it can be felt. We experience it as a negative energy field radiating from a work in potential. It’s a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”
[[[What are Book Jams?]]]
You can't do everything you learn in every book, all at one time. But you can focus on a few important things. Book Jams break down books, classes, or seminars into 7 digestible, actionable points:
3 things I learned
3 things I'll change in my life as a result of reading the book
1 most important sentence in the book
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SecondMix.net
matt@secondmix.net
Not advice – not a one-shot quote that changed your life so you expect it will change someone else’s life. But a small stream of regular input of pure, powerful, and positive material. That’s the only place to start, and that regularity is the only thing that is going to make a difference to someone’s life. So here’s a Jim Rohn seminar to listen to. Here’s a Zig Ziglar Seminar to listen to. Here’s Brian Tracy. Here’s Les Brown, Eric Thomas, Simon Sinek, Mel Robins, Darren Hardy, Brené Brown – there’s a long list. Get it in your head daily.
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Atomic Habits by James Clear Summary and thoughts
“Time will multiply whatever you feed it. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy.” This is an insightful way of looking at how life and time and energy work together. What if we were to use this thought and begin feeding Time Itself with powerful small habits? And what if we also stopped feeding Time with bad habits? The good would be multiplied, the bad would be diminished, and your life would look quite different in a year – and unrecognizable in 5 years. The author writes, “If you want to predict where you’ll end up in life, all you have to do is follow the curve of tiny gains or tiny losses, and see how your daily choices will compound ten or twenty years down the line.”
[[[What is Book Jams?]]]
You can't do everything you learn in every book, all at one time. But you can focus on a few important things. Book Jams breaks down books, classes, or seminars into 7 digestible, actionable points:
3 things I learned
3 things I'll change in my life as a result of reading the book
1 most important sentence in the book
The Ideas and Concepts Mastermind (Facebook Group)
SecondMix.net
matt@secondmix.net
Rethinking Positive Thinking.
There is a sector of the positive thinking crowd that is almost cult-like, and this is an unfortunate side effect of the effectiveness of personal development. The misconception is positive thinking is all about just being happy all the time, if something negative is happening you just have to shift your thoughts into a different space and believe that everything is going to be all right. This is the Facebook-posting world that pretty much states that if you’re not happy, something is wrong. And it is detrimental to the process of personal development.
I make my case as to what positive thinking really is.
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It’s common to hear someone use the excuse, “If I could just find more time…” – and if that’s what you need to do, forget it! You’re not going to find more time. There isn’t any more time to give out. There is no way to find more time.
AqD9XIaotwQgOjxIjl0b
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Don’t get locked into the limited thinking that you just don’t know the right people. It’s easy to find a local group of people who are into personal development start meeting them and choose that handful of people that you want to get to know. If you introduce yourself and someone takes no interest in getting to know you, you’re in luck! There are more people to keep talking to and it takes effort, but you can find your success network.
Episode 42!!!
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The quality of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. If you can change your thinking, you can change your life. So many people are locked into being a bad-finder, actively seeking out the negative. Some people look for the negative like there’s a prize for finding it. The results are disastrous to your relationships, your finances, your productivity, and most importantly they are disastrous to the one life you have to live.
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I’ve read through the book Get Rich In 5 Hours by Joe Herbert three times, and I pick up something new every time I read it. I’ve been friends with Joe for a year now – after I read his book, and I know that the concept of the title has been something that bothers him off and on, because a lot of people have commented that it’s a “get-rich-quick” book. I can assure you from the very beginning, that this is not the case.
The Good All Around Us Podcast
IKAGG - I Know A Guy/Gal
Podcasters Chris and Deanna Ley get into networking, boats made of bottles, and more. These two will happy up your life with positive stories from around the world, weekly input. Find the good! Borrow their lawnmower, put in your headphones, and listen as you mow.
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I was having a conversation with a coaching client the other day, and he was talking about a book he read that talked about six specific High Performance Habits, and he asked me, in light of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, if the author missed a habit, or if Stephen Covey added a habit that was really unnecessary.
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What one thing could I do today that will make this the most valuable day of my life?
What new direction could I take? What new habit could I begin? This question opens me up every morning to life-changing possibilities every day. I don’t expect every single day to be the most valuable, but what if I decide to learn or improve a skill today that comes into play during an opportunity five years from now that nets me millions? Learning that skill retrospectively made today the most valuable day of my life.
Matt talks with Corporate Action Hero John Davis, who was once paralyzed with a broken back and now inspires people to become something more than they are! Martial arts, motivation, and inspiration from the Second Mix podcast.
http://www.Corporateactionhero.com Keynote Speaker, John Davis. Motivational Speaker with a whip, nunchucks, comedy, and real peak performance results!!
More information. here: http://www.corporateactionhero.com
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Meet as many people as you can. Be a friend. Help them. Commit to the group – don’t be there to sell your stuff. Be there to be a valuable part of the group. This means that you need to join groups that meet your interests and your skills. If all you have to offer the group is your product, it is worthless because you will be seen as a desperate salesperson and you’ll be ignored or worse.
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I left the group and found my new fellowship. And I will always in some way be a part of a group like this. My people. I call them my people because they always want to be the dumbest people in the room. If they are somewhere where they are the smartest, they know they’re not really learning at the capacity in which they could be.
https://youtu.be/iBeXPFuife0
https://www.seantylerfoley.com/
The Power To Speak Naked!
**Sean Tyler Foley is a 35 year veteran of acting, speaking and training.
He has been acting in film and television since he was 6 years old and is an accomplished film and stage performer.**
He has appeared in productions including Freddy Vs Jason, Door to Door,
Carrie and the musical Ragtime.
Tyler is passionate about helping others to confidently take the stage and impact an audience with their stories. He is currently the Managing Director of Total Buy In and author of the #1 Best-selling book "The Power to Speak Naked."
Leveraging his experience as a consultant and keynote speaker in the Health and Safety industry, Tyler brings a unique perspective to the realm of coaching and mentoring. Having made a vocation of forging strong, sustainable relationships, Tyler has been able to facilitate consensus and harmony among disparate groups, relying on his background in highly pressurized and demanding environments.
Tyler brings an undeniable gravitas to the conferences and workshops he leads, feeling equally at home whether among an intimate group
or in front of small or large audiences.
With his distinct and direct style, Sean Tyler Foley has emerged as one of
North America’s sought-after leaders in the field of public speaking and
speaker training for personal and professional development.
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I find myself often wondering where I would be today if I had read pure, powerful, and positive material for 30 years instead of that other stuff. But we are where we are and when we are for a reason. If you are stuck, if you want to stretch, if you want to grow, if you want to become something more, there is a book for you out there. If you want to learn or get better at a skill, there is a book out there for you. Everything you want to do, have, or be is within your reach if you will just learn How to get it and keep going until you get it.
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I wish that life wrapped itself up in neat little packages, but it doesn’t do that. It’s a guess. It’s all a learning process to become better. It’s a cycle, it’s a wheel. It just keeps coming. And you can let it roll over you, or you can do what it takes to figure it out. That’s what personal development – self-improvement – is all about.
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I have author and coach Andy Kerr in the studio! Andy's book inspired me to ask him to come on and let me know if he can find a point to some of my stories. So, does Andy have a point?
Yes, he does!
Find him here!
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When you fly in a plane, and you are headed to a destination, there are many forces that are working against that plane, and they constantly pushing it off course. Gravity, wind, weather patterns, all of it could make that plane go off course. The entire time, the pilots are working to keep the craft on course, so they can land at the destination they are supposed to be at.
If the pilots acted the way I acted for over 30 years of my life, they would just say, well, we were supposed to go to Tampa, but here we are in New Orleans, enjoy your stay – we will be happy to try again some other time.
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In order to reach new heights, in order to not be living the same day over and over again, there are certain things you need to be looking for, and certain things to reflect on. I could give you a huge list of all the things that you could reflect on, but if you boil every single one of those down to their essence, you're going to find that the end game of reflection is results.
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Elevation is the place where we reflect, revise, and remix our life. I didn’t make any progress, until I began to pick apart my days, weeks, and months, and ask myself about my results in life. I set goals, but I didn’t begin achieving them until I reflected on why I didn’t have them already.
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I placed the responsibility of my position on everyone else but me, and when adversity came, there was always something or someone to blame. This went on for years. Sometimes I just let adversity roll all over me, sometimes I got lucky and was able to talk my way out of disaster without any real effort or sacrifice on my part.
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We don’t get to choose all the obstacles we will have to come across as we try to grow. They attack us at every angle, in every area, and we never really get to find out why it happened – we can always guess, but there’s never really a clear answer, except that stuff like this happens to everybody. That’s the only satisfactory answer – it just happens.
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Isaiah Elliot, talking about books, copywriting, personal development, and more. 20 minutes of valuable information from an inspired creator.
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At the beginning it seems like it’s always arbitrary – it’s always a guess about how to apply the information. That’s because we, in our attempt to go with the flow of the normal negative, make things more difficult than they need to be. We add layers of complexity on top of complexity, confusing ourselves about what steps to actually take.
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I said in the last episode that if we were like trees, always giving the maximum, always trying to grow the maximum, we wouldn’t need to work on ourselves. We would be busy already being everything we can be. But for whatever reason – because of the way our brains evolved or the way God made us, we have the dignity to choose our own destiny, and that includes the dignity to decide, if we will, to not grow, to not change, to not participate in nature and be all we can be.
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In the War of Art, Steven Pressfield calls it the Resistance. I’ve heard it referred to as the thief, the villain, the gremlin, one book on eating habits calls it “your inner pig.” Maybe some even call it Satan? The devil? I call it the base. And I tried to study it out of my existence for two years, before finding out that it doesn’t go away – and here’s why it doesn’t and won’t go away.
You can find Kyle at GrowthFactorNetwork.com
or the Effortless Expert Community on Facebook.
And the graphic we reference in the podcast can be found here.
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Back to this: everything good will be attacked. This isn’t a spiritual thing, it’s not evil attacking you. This is a natural thing. All of life is the upward struggle against the downward pull of the normal negative. We all fall towards the base level of negativity, and with no effort on our part, that is where we will all end up. Some people have a harder time than others trying to struggle upward, just like some trees seem to thrive with or without sunlight, and some have a hard time growing in the shade.
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You will notice great strides in your progress if you invest your ethos, your intentions, and your efficacy into action – into agency.
When you invest these, there is powerful, clear, and skillful action and real work will start getting done. Not tasks or busy work. But the real work you need towards actual progress – actual results.
Talking with Kyle Damman of GrowthFactorNetwork.com
The graphic we discuss can be found at SecondMix.net/kyle
We cover health, starting a business, and the cycles of complexity.
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In a world where businesses are paying money to buy your attention, the ability to focus is going to be the new superpower. I’m sure you realized before I did that the people around you, are less focused. And maybe it’s even affecting you.
Because of all this attention-grabbing and productivity-destroying media, there is a window, an opening, and a winning spot for anyone able to overcome all this stuff and learn how to focus their attention on one task for a good-sized chunk of time.
Unedited, uncut riffs on life. My wife and I visit a B&B in Mid Ohio and end up in a funny sort of trouble.
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You will not grow in your comfort zone. We need the challenge of life in order to get stronger. I spent years doing only what was comfortable to me, and as soon as things became uncomfortable, I would bow out and say, “that’s not for me.” All the while, I wasn’t growing. I was staying the same in money, in value, in experience.
My Favorite Hugh Laurie Quote is
“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.”
― Hugh Laurie
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Resources: Zone Of Genius Worksheet
One of the major questions to ask yourself is, is this something I should be doing? So although you can do anything and learn anything, there is a way to speed up the process by being in your Zone of Genius.
I just finished the book The Common Path to Uncommon Results, where John Lee Dumas calls this your Zone of Fire. I recommend reading this book if you want to get smarter, but with the warning that it did make my mind explode and I’m still picking up the pieces.
If you are shaped like a triangle in that kid’s toy, find the triangle-shaped hole and fit in. Too often we see a hole somewhere, and we say – just like with the kid’s toy, “I’m pretty sure that if I try hard enough I can fit this triangle through that hexagon-shaped hole.” And then we waste time trying to fit it.
Ideas from John Lee Dumas, Seth Godin, and - as always - Jim Rohn
Second Mix Riffs - Unedited, Uncut
Two books by Donald Miller. Building A Story Brand and Marketing Made Simple. Level up your marketing skills without paying thousands of dollars to a consultant.
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The Good All Around Us Podcast
I wasted a lot of time in my life – truly 30 years – because I didn’t understand that I had the capacity to learn all that I needed to learn. I would decide that I wanted to be a graphic artist, for example, and I would begin to design things, and as soon as I ran up against something that I didn’t understand, I was defeated. And in my head, I think I was comparing my current ability to the abilities of people who were already successful in this area. So I would think, well I can understand how THAT person has the ability to do this, and be an expert. But I just can’t do it.
My comprehension of what I could become was limited to the skills and abilities that I had at the time – not the things that I could do. I did NOT KNOW that I could just dive in and get my hands dirty and ask questions. And that’s how you learn.
Ignorance is not bliss, and what you don’t know can hurt you. But if you have the mindset to be unstoppable, the mindset to say, “I can learn this, and I will,” then you have started down a new path, a new course of achieving that thing that you say you want.
This week features Kyle Dammann, the owner and entrepreneur at Growth Factor Network.
Kyle and Matt talk about health, education, business, and the mental game of starting and running a business.
The Cycles of Complexity graphic (referred to in the episode) can be found at secondmix.net/kyle. And Kyle can be found at GrowthFactorNetwork.com.
Continue the conversation in the Second Mix Ideas and Concepts Mastermind group on Facebook - we would love to see you there.
email matt@secondmix.net
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The first word is HOW. The most important question you can ask yourself when you run up against a stone wall.
How do I get this done? How do I get through this? How do I learn this skill?
How can I run this business successfully? How do I meet the right people? How do I talk to those people?
The other word is UNTIL.
As Jim Rohn always asked, how long should it take a baby to learn how to walk? How long would you give your average baby? How long before you said, “okay, never mind. It’s just not gonna happen.”
Any parents listening would call me crazy. “My kid is going to keep working at it until he learns how to walk.”
Until is a powerful word that inspires perseverance and rugged effort.
In the Ideas and Concepts Facebook Group, let me know one of your goals and why you want it! I'll go first - join the conversation.
(Also, I meant I'd be back on Thursday!)
Here’s why most people don’t set goals: It’s hard. It takes a long time. It really could take ten or twenty hours over a week of your life, and a couple hours a week spending time looking over and revising them. It’s easy to sit down and start writing down what you want for a couple hours the first night. But you get to the point where it’s boring, or too complex, and you don’t exactly know what to do. And you have to do a lot of thinking.
It’s easier not to think, and the difference between those who achieve their goals and those who don’t - is mainly this process of thinking.
You choose goal X, you write down all the steps you know of that it will take to get there. You end up with ten steps. Then you realize that you have to do step 7 before you can do step 2, and you learn that there’s actually three more steps that you didn’t know about.
It’s taxing. And that’s why the majority of people won’t do it. That’s why they decide it’s too hard, or they are just not good enough or smart enough to get it all done.
None of that is true. But it’s easy – it’s easy to say, “I can’t do it.” It’s easy to say, “I’m not smart enough or good enough.” Most people stop in the planning stages of their goals, because that’s where the complexity lies. And that’s the obstacle you need to move. Or get through. Or get over. Or get around. This is where “Never Quit!” comes in. If you can’t get it one way, then find another way.
Today, hiking in the woods and riffing on the book The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann.
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Talk about in Second Mix's Ideas and Concepts Mastermind on Facebook
In this episode, I cover the multiple uses and benefits of visualization, and how you can overcome things that are driving you crazy.
Join the Facebook group HERE, and let me know how you are going to use these techniques in the coming days or weeks. https://www.facebook.com/groups/secondmix
Read all of this on the blog at SecondMix.net
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In 5 years, if you are in exactly the same place as you are today, will you be okay with that?
If you look around at your life in 5 years and you have all the same stuff, and all the same joys, and all the same problems, will that satisfy you?
For some people, that might be okay, that might actually sound like a good proposition, and if that is you, then it’s all going to be a game of maintaining what you have.
For those who won’t be satisfied, for those who want more out of life, I’ve gotta say – five years from now is SURELY COMING. To put off a single day is to grow closer to that time, without having changed, without having grown.
If you want more, than you have to become more than you are right now. And the only way that I know of to do that is to have a vision of what you want, and the faith that you can get it. That’s the only way I know to get anywhere.
Maybe there’s another way, I don’t know. Maybe you know of a sure-fire way to be lucky, to win the lottery, to inherit money from some unknown distant relative, maybe you know how to do that. If that’s you, then maybe you don’t have much to worry about.
I spent 30 years, and even more depending on how far you want to go back into my childhood and teens, 30 years without an actual vision. I had some things I wanted with no plans on actually getting them or trying to figure out how to get them.
What did I want? I wanted whatever I could get. I was led around by my opportunities, relationships – I was a servant to all the things that were easily attainable to me, that were just a little bit better than what I already had. So I’d move from a job I was happy at to a new job that paid 50 cents more an hour. Then I’d move again. My friends and romantic relationships were whoever I happened to be around at the time.
I was living my life entirely by default. I was under the mistaken belief – the irrational script – that I couldn’t change my circumstances. This negative script told me that I couldn’t be what I wanted be – couldn’t be as powerful or well-off or influential as I wanted to be.
So to ask myself the question What Do I Want wasn’t even on my radar. I mean, why I take the time and effort to figure out what I really wanted out of my life, if I couldn’t get it anyways? Isn’t that just a waste? Wouldn’t that make me depressed? I was tied to the circumstances of my birth and upbringing, and despite my parents telling me I could be anything I wanted to be, I guessed that it meant, “you can’t be anything you want as long as it means you have a job for 47 years, save enough money, and retire and then enjoy your life.”
That sounded like jail to me. That sounded like my family, friends, circumstances, and my education were all trying to shove me into this little box that I just didn’t fit in. And I thought I was a failure, for not being able to conform to that pattern.
If one single person had said, “Matt – it sounds like you have the spirit of an entrepreneur. What do you want out of life? Because you can get it,” I would have maybe started my journey earlier.
I call on James Clear, Jim Rohn, Victor Frankl, and Oliver Wendell Holmes to find out what my purpose is in this life.
Purpose and meaning are the most difficult parts for me. Everything is so arbitrary – nobody is there to tell you if you are right or wrong. There’s no single path laid out for you except the one you’re going for, right now. So where are you headed right now? Where are your current habits and labor taking you five or ten years from now?
So many people are, as I heard Zig Ziglar say once, people are wandering generalities instead of meaningful specifics.
God hasn’t chosen a perfect career for you – he gave you the personality and desires to find one. The universe hasn’t chosen a perfect spouse for you – it gave you the personality and desires to find them. I don’t want to get into spirituality here – it works no matter what you believe.
In his book “Man’s Search For Meaning,” Victor Frankl has an answer that I think will satisfy most people, even though the answer is difficult. He says, “Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.” End quote.
Don’t try to find out what the meaning or purpose of your life is. We have the power to decide the meaning, to decide the purpose.
We get caught up in looking for our purpose as if it’s out there somewhere– as if our purpose already exists. But it’s not out there. It’s not a tangible thing that you are going to find. It’s not even an ethereal thing you are going to find.
It’s not out there until we put it out there. But because of media, and education, and society, we have this thought that the answer exists and we have to find it.
Then we do one of two things. We search for it, this thing that’s not out there until we put it out there. Or, we wait for the answer to come to us. Wasting time. Oliver Wendall Holmes said, “Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it time runs out.”
It is my opinion that searching for our purpose is an excuse to put things off. We are scared of making the wrong decision, so we search – or wait around - for some enlightenment, and this is sad because enlightenment isn’t coming until we realize that we write our own story.
For me, I could never come up with a story satisfying enough, or big enough, or one with enough meaning. So I waited for that enlightenment. From God, from the universe, no matter what I was waiting for, I wasted a good 30 years doing what I needed to do to get by while I waited. I wanted meaning, and I searched for it. That didn’t work. So I waited for it, and that didn’t work.
All the while, during this 30 years I was filled with unbearable angst because I deeply wanted meaning, I wanted a purpose.
I never found one. A few years ago, I read Frankl’s book, and I made my purpose. I designed it. I created it. I told life what my purpose was.
The beautiful thing about this process is that since that time, my purpose has changed maybe 100 times. Sometimes tiny edits to the wording, sometimes large sweeping changes to reorganize and edit the direction of my life, after much reflection. The point was that I decided.
Now, I never have a purposeless day. Even if I have a lazy day, where I should have been working but did nothing, I still had that specific purpose calling out to me – I knew what I was procrastinating on. And I held myself accountable the next day.
So what is your purpose? What is your answer to the meaning of your life? What are you going to tell life that you are going to do?
Do positive affirmations work, or are they a waste of time? I’ve tried them, and I’ve given up, and I’ve tried them again.
There is research out there that says they work, and research that says they don’t work.
The statistics are unclear, so everything I say here is my speculation, and how it has worked for me, how I’ve used them, and how I feel about positive affirmations.
Doctor Joyce Brothers said, “you cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.”
In other words, if you think you’re a loser, you are going to act like a loser. If you see yourself as a fat person, you are going to keep acting like one.
The purpose of these positive affirmations is to change the way you see yourself. To transform your own image in your mind, because if you see yourself as a winner, you’re going to start acting like a winner.
When you hear about these affirmations, they usually have the caveat that you need to state them in certain ways (they differ from teacher to teacher) but they usually involve stating the affirmation as if it were already true, and usually include adding the emotional benefit you are experiencing as a result of it being true. Like these:
I am calm and confident in every situation, and I now look forward to challenges.
I am at my ideal weight, and I feel great about it every single day.
I love the feeling of freedom of never having to smoke a cigarette again.
And so on.
I used to do affirmations like this. But they didn’t always work for me.
It didn’t change what was actually true about me. Because I wasn’t affirming the truth. So I didn’t believe it. It didn’t change me.
I was told that it was like self-advertising, and it took some time, but I did these affirmations for months at a time, and things weren’t changing.
Why? Because affirmations like this make you feel like the effort and labor it takes to change will come naturally to you, because you keep saying the words over and over. And they do make you feel good every morning. But here’s what they don’t do – I don’t think they change the way you feel about yourself. At least it didn’t work for me.
Then I learned why.
I heard Jim Rohn say, “Don’t be fooled by anyone who tells you that there is a way, contrary to nature itself that says unless you labor, unless you act, things just aren’t going to grow.”
I put the faith in the affirmations. I mistakenly thought that the labor, the activity was reading the affirmations a few times a day. That’s not where the labor is. That’s not how it’s done.
As I looked for an answer, one came to me.
The most powerful phrase in the English language, and presumably any other language. I can, and I will.
There is 1953 book by J. Martin Kohe called your greatest power, where he covers the power of choice through the entire short book. I read it in my teens when the book was only 40 years old (now it’s 68 years old but still evergreen) – it should have changed my life back then but I didn’t implement it. As they say, someone who reads and doesn’t act upon that wisdom is no better off than someone who doesn’t read anything.
The power is in understanding that it’s possible, and deciding to do it, to pay whatever price you have to pay. Deciding to put in the work.
And I changed my affirmations to fit this new power that I had, the power of choice.
I can and will put in the effort to learn how it’s done.
I can and will take all the steps once I’ve learned how to do it right.
I can and I will stop smoking.
I can and I will lose this weight and eat healthy food.
I can and I will work on my relationships and treat my family well.
I can, and I will.
Important ideas that fall under the category of Ethos before we move on.
In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey calls these important things “Quadrant 2” Activities. These are the things that are important, but not urgent. It might take a few hours to sit down and write out your goals, your mission in life – and that’s very important. But it’s not pressing on you. So the time usually gets eaten up with urgent but less important things. If we don’t grab a hold of this and take control and choose to focus on these important but not urgent activities, we may never write our goals down or get these ultra important things done. It is possible to live out your entire life without having accomplished a single goal.
My life began to change when I started taking the time to SCHEDULE these important activities, making them a priority. Because even though they are not pressing, they really are the most important things to living a fulfilling life.
Don’t underestimate this amount of energy, and not give enough. And don’t overestimate what it’s going to take, and overdo it. (Like slamming the cupboard door closed instead of simply closing it.)
The reason this idea is important to your ethos, is when you begin to practice this technique, things begin to get easier for you mentally and physically. There is only one art, the art of being human. This relaxed effort is seen in painting, boxing, playing music, baseball, dancing, and everywhere else.
When a boxer punches at his opponent, it is controlled and focused. They don’t just ball up their fist and take the hardest swing they can – in fact, this is less effective when it’s done this way. The energy is not focused, balance can be thrown off.
Balance is a delicate thing.
When piano players play, they are not slamming down on the keys as hard as they can – it’s all about relaxing, tapping into gravity, and working on the technique required to product music that can be effect, that can actually change emotions.
No matter what you do, you can relax and tap into the forces at work in the universe and take advantage of them – and it all begins with the economy of motion and expending the appropriate amount of energy for the task.
I’ve never been good at meditation. I’ve sat there bored, listening to music that I just don’t like, and trying to make myself feel like I’m doing something healthy. I did it for days, and it just caused me stress.
Two things happened. I read the book Stillness is the Key, by Stoic writer and philosopher Ryan Holiday – and he said that he
You might remember hearing phrases like these from time to time:
You can eat an elephant one bite at a time.
Do it step by step.
If you’re like me you’ve heard these hundreds of times, they are in popular culture and we’re acclimated to them, and they can even get a little annoying. But the reason these phrases have stood the test of time is because they are true – that’s how it works.
One of the wisest things you can do is to learn how the world works, and then begin to operate based on how the world works. The great thing is, we don’t have to like the way it works in order to follow the system. All we need to understand is HOW it works. Not whether we like it or not. If I want to get where I want to go, all of that has to be irrelevant.
Let’s face it – if incremental steps didn’t work, we wouldn’t still be sharing these phrases. And it’s tiresome, because it’s obvious. Because we’re numb to these proverbs, they don’t grab our attention like they should. Maybe because we’re impatient.
But the truth is, if you lost two pounds a month, in one year you would be 24 pounds lighter. If you saved $100 a month, in one year you would have $1200.
So why don’t we always do it? Why don’t we act like it? I think it’s about 50/50 between these two problems.
We don’t trust incremental change will work the way we want it to.
Or we don’t trust ourselves to keep taking the steps (we think, why should I start doing this, I’d be wasting my time because I’ll probably quit before I’ve reached my goal.)
I used to get inspired to practice the piano, and I’d take a weekend, and practice for six hours that weekend. All proud of myself. Then 45 days later, I’d get inspired again. In those middle 45 days, I’d question my commitment to learning, and question my ability. Then it would fester and make me feel a little bit bad about myself every day, until that six weeks or so came around and I’d do another marathon practice.
I did not make leaps in progress until I began to sit down every day for 10 to 15 minutes and consistently work on the techniques I want to have, the skills I wanted to have.
I did the same thing learning Spanish. I’d get excited about the language, buy a new book, download and print 50 worksheets, then spend a few hours learning, until the excitement was all burned off, worked off. Then six months later I’d get the bug again. I didn’t make progress until I said “at least one lesson a day, every day. 5-10 minutes a day.” Such a small bite, but that elephant is getting eaten now.
I have a similar pattern with everything I’ve done. It’s easy to work when you’re feeling inspired, it’s harder to work when you’re not feeling anything. It’s fun to spend hours setting up a new business, it’s harder to look for clients, make the calls and experience the rejection.
The great new of the day is that you don’t have to trust yourself. You only have to put faith in incremental change, and take those small bites, those small steps. And then, only work on TODAY. Take the biggest step you can, TODAY towards your goals and desires. Doesn’t matter if it’s small. Doesn’t matter if it seems like much.
Little steps in the right direction.
As long as you keep taking even these little steps, you will begin to see progress – and that will inspire you to take larger steps sometimes.
Jim Rohn defined failure this way: A few simple errors in judgement, practiced every day. What if you ate just a little bit unhealthy every day for five years? The destruction doesn’t come after one day, but after 5 years of “just a little bit unhealthy” and disaster will be coming.
Life accumulates. The good and the bad. Everything you have now is the accumulated effect of everything you’ve done up til now. This is inescapable.
If you only change this one part of your life, it will change everything else. Zig Ziglar said, "Your input determines your outlook, your outlook determines your output, and your output determines your future." My life is proof that this is true. The people and media you are around are absolutely influencing your life. Here's how to filter this information in a way that builds your life.
Partial Transcript Below:
Two years ago at this time, I was constantly fighting a losing battle with negativity. I had heard all of that “think positive” stuff before, and I tried, but I thought it just didn’t work for me.
Things did not change until I realized – I couldn’t watch the negative shows that I’d been watching, I couldn’t read all of the negative things I was reading, I couldn’t be addicted to the podcasts and the news that were constantly spewing out information that was making me feel mad, depressed, helpless – I couldn’t be constantly taking in all of this information, and then try to have a positive outlook on life.
For me, in order for things to change, there had to be a sacrifice. And hiking in the woods one fateful day, instead of listening to things that would have made me depressed or mad, I listened to a Zig Ziglar seminar. And I did it the next day, and the next. And something started happening to me that I hadn’t experienced for a long, long time. I thought at first it was happiness, because it felt so good. But what it really was, was hope. I now had hope for the future, hope for my relationships, for my life – I knew in just a couple of days that I had been swimming in a swamp of negativity all my life, and now I could climb out, get cleaned up, and get on with my real life.
I had years of negativity under my belt. I thought there was something wrong with me – I tried to go to sleep at night, and just as I was fading off, I would imagine something horrible happening to my wife, my kids, myself – I’d wake up shaking, having a physical reaction to the fear, a panic attack. I thought this is what my life was going to be like.
Here was the sacrifice that I had to get through. I had reasons for all of my negative input. Good reasons – I was a writer – I’ve had my sci-fi and horror stories published in a few books, and I wanted to hone my craft, get better, and write a best-selling horror novel. In order to do that, I had to read novel after novel of the best horror and sci-fi writers out there, constantly filling my head with terrible scenarios well thought out by great writers. A constant barrage of hopeless situations. I was trying to read 100 books a year back then, so I really was filling my head with it. I also listened to political podcasts – each one made me angrier than the last, and my head would be swimming pretty constantly with solid arguments about why the other side was wrong, and why the other side was destroying our country.
To top that off, I binge-watched horror shows and other shows that filled my head with murder, crime, betrayal, and all other manner of atrocities that the writers could think of to keep my interest. 2-3 hours a night, just pouring it in.
And then, a couple days listening to Zig Ziglar, hearing that phrase that my input is what is determining my outlook, I examined it and believed it. And I made the decision to put an end to it. No more binge watching, no more horror books, no more political podcasts. I chose from then on to only fill my mind with powerful, pure, and hopeful material. Before I read anything, before I watch anything, I ask myself, “Is this going to make me better?”
Our minds are always deceptive and leaning towards the negative. It's supposed to be this way. Here's how I learned to combat this enemy and rise up from the dirt.
This is part of a series on getting through the cycles of complexity. If you want more information you can start at episode 10, but each episode will stand on its own two feet, and you’ll get a lot out of each one independently of the others. These are the principles that I’ve been learning, that have been dramatically changing my life for the last few years – and this podcast is for you AND for me.
Life is full of complexity. Things aren’t always easy. You go to the post office to mail a letter, and too often there’s something wrong and you can’t mail it. You get the flat tire on the way to work. You try to move some furniture in your house and it just doesn’t fit. And these are the easy ones. I used to think it was me. I called myself the anomaly. I’d say “Every time I try to do something that should be simple, some wrench gets dropped in the gears, and life gives me trouble.” Now, it wasn’t really EVERY TIME. And it also wasn’t just me being an anomaly. But these things happen often, and they happen to everyone. Oddly enough, most people think it only happens to them. It happens to us all.
To get through these Cycles of Complexity that life throws at us, it helps to understand this method of forward movement. Ethos, Intention, Efficacy, Agency, Adversity, and Elevation.
I’m focused today on Ethos, which is a good thing because I’ve just had an 8 week struggle with this.
Your Ethos is your compass and your steering wheel. Your character and your operating manual. It defines who you are.
It is determined by several things.
Your mindset, Your character
Your input, what is currently influencing you?
your patience to wait for incremental change (the compound effect)
Your stillness (patience, your relaxed effort – before I found the Cycles of Complexity I was going to call this book Relax and Struggle)
Mindset has been in my thoughts recently, because over the last couple of months I began to see that I’ve been letting some poisonous things slip in. I want to begin there.
Over the last couple of years, I have dramatically changed my mindset – I’ve changed most areas of my life. But for the last 8 weeks or so I actually felt like I was on a decline.
Your brain is constantly striving to reach for the negative. It’s an inherited trait that we all have – we’re always looking for danger, looking for the downside. It’s a survival mechanism, built in so that we don’t get eaten by the monster. It’s an incredible tool that we have at our disposal so we can continue as a species. And there is NOTHING wrong with that.
But in the relatively safe society we’re living in, that part of our brain still operates, and we create problems that don’t really exist. We see social conflict as a danger, the new monster, and we’re scared of it. Even if we tell ourselves that the worst that can happen is a bad emotion, we still experience the same fear. This can be detrimental to our mindset, and the whole mechanism goes haywire even in the absence of physical danger.
We live in a normal negative. In the absence of our own effort towards the positive, our mindset will favor the fear of monsters.
All of life is the upward struggle against this downward pull of the normal negative. I’ll be talking about this a lot more when I get to the episodes on adversity, because this is part of the internal and external adversity that we all deal with.
Ethos, Intention, Efficacy, Agency, Adversity, Elevation
As it turned out, these six categories defined a way to get through all of the cycles of complexity you go through in life – in business, in relationships, in health issues. If there’s something going wrong in your life, all you have to do is look at this list, because if there’s a problem, it’s one of these six things.
Ethos is like mindset mixed with philosophy; character mixed with an operating manual. Everything you believe about the world, and other people, and yourself, and the way you choose to process it in your own mind. The way you choose to think about it.
Brian Tracy says that the quality of your life is entirely determined by the quality of your thoughts, the quality of your thinking. Creating your Ethos is about gauging the quality of your thinking to improve the quality of your life.
This is the rudder on the ship, the steering wheel, the single most important thing you could focus on if you’re not happy with the direction of your life. Because you can change the way you think by changing what goes into your mind, the right books, classes, seminars, and the right group of people in your life could change everything – especially if you also remove all of the wrong input to your brain, the wrong books – the wrong tv.
You become like the people you hang out with the most – that includes the characters of the show you are binge watching right now. In fact, it’s been said that you will be exactly the same person 5 years from now except for the books you read and the people you meet. If you change your thinking, you will change your life.
The second category is Intention. It’s about the goals you set, who you want to be, what you’re mission and vision is – what you’re greatest life looks like to you. Most everything relating to goals falls into this category, but I did hear a really great quote the other day, not sure where it came from, but it was “what are the 5 feelings you want to experience in this life? Go after those. Don’t worry so much about buying something or going someplace – those things we do because of the feelings they bring us. So, choose the feelings and strive to do whatever it takes to get those feelings.” That quote resonated with me enough to write it down in my journal. I haven’t analyzed it enough yet to feel fully confident it’s the right way for me to think, but it’s definitely a thought that would be categorized under Intention.
The third category is Efficacy. Efficacy is the ability to produce the desired or intended result. This will include any skills that you need to develop in order to fulfill your intentions. If you want to be a marketer, what skills do you need to get to the level you want to be at? If you want to be a real estate investor, what is it you need to learn to begin that process, then excel at it? Do whatever it takes to build the skills you need to execute your intentions. In fact, this is simple because your own goals will inform the course of your self-education. Two quotes I love, both from Jim Rohn, fall squarely into the category of Efficacy.
Your formal education will make you a living. Your self-education will make you a fortune.
If you wish to be wealthy, study wealth. If you wish to be happy, study happiness.
Efficacy is where you begin to BECOME something bigger, become MORE. This is really where the change starts to occur in ways the begin to reap benefits outside of your mind. Read the books, take the courses, find the people. ...
I want to talk about what I call “A permission deficit” – I wasted a lot of time in my life waiting for permission to get going. Permission to start my own business, permission to live the life I wanted to be living. I call this the curse of permission-orientation.
I think that most people have a deep-down feeling that they need permission from some outside authority before they do the things they want to do with their lives. The people who are successful are able to bypass this and shed it somehow. It’s really not that difficult to do, but in order the counter the problem (just like many things), first you have to be aware that it exists.
Most people listening to this grew up in a society where we needed to ask permission – in school, to go to the bathroom, or to leave the classroom. At home, to go outside, to get something to eat. As we grew up, and became adults, anything different or unusual wasn’t really acceptable unless we had permission from whichever authority ruled over that part of our lives.
I believe that “need of permission” keeps people nailed down, making it harder and harder to break out of the box that we believe we’re supposed to be in .
Everything you want is available to you. Everything you want is within your reach. You are not stuck, you don’t need any outside force to ALLOW YOU to go after your goals.
I think to some degree we all feel that – and this is why mentors, coaches and a positive inspiring group of friends – and even listening to positive stuff like this – it’s all really helpful in getting people over that need to ask permission. The need to find permission.
What I’m striving for is to find that internal authority. That voice inside me that can make a strong decision to DO OR DIE. The voice that I create, instead of waiting to hear it from someone else. That someone else is probably never going to come along. It’s much better to find it within yourself, than to wait.
Waiting until you feel like you’re allowed can be damaging.
It causes you to procrastinate. Many times we will look for all the excuses we can to NOT CHANGE, because change is scary and uncomfortable. If you hear a voice that says “let’s wait until we’re allowed” to take this step or start your business, or move to another town – if you hear that voice it’s really easy to agree with it, and say – all of that sounds good, and I’m going to do it when the timing is right. But the timing is never right unless you make a decision, and then a plan, and then begin to carry it out.
It trains us to keep waiting instead of taking action. We grant our own permission to live our own lives, which means that part of you that is waiting for permission is most likely the same part of you that can give permission. If we keep training ourselves to wait for permission, we’re just prolonging that notion. The sooner we try to ignore it, the faster we will get out of the habit, and start doing whatever it takes to get whatever it is we want.
It limits your goals. The goals you have the ability to set for yourself, the intentions and things you want with your life – these are unlimited. You can be what you want and do whatever you want to do. But if you are permission-oriented, then you might be automatically self-disqualifying for any goals that “seem” too large. This could stop your from achieving your full potential. So if you say “ I want 5 million in the bank”, or ‘I’d like to own a huge apartment building” – that permission orientation will make you say, “yeah that’s not really possible, maybe I’ll write down “a nice savings account” and “a rental property” instead. This is dangerous to your potential.
Most people don’t aim too high and miss, they aim too low and hit.
How do you find your Success Network.
I’m not necessarily talking about your audience, or your tribe. Just a group of people who feel the same way you do and those who are attracted by what you say. What you do with this group is up to you – if you’re going to make them your audience, sell to them, or simply build your network. There are a lot of possibilities.
What you have to avoid is this: You can’t be bothered with all the people who aren’t going to do what you want them to do, feel what you want them to feel. It isn’t worth your time.
Nearly infinite varieties of people, and some aren’t going to do what you think is right.
Don’t expect a liar to tell the truth. Being surprised that a liar is lying is naïve. There are bad drivers out there. Being surprised by a bad driver? Also naïve.
Incidentally, another thing that goes along with being surprised by bad drivers is that they make us so angry. Some driver pulls a crazy stunt on the way to work, and we get mad, and we’re fuming, and we’re complaining about it. And we carry it with us all day, let it ruin the day, meanwhile the driver is happily going about his day with no clue that we even exist. But we let him ruin our day. If that’s not foolish, I don’t what is. Back to it…
When I was heavily involved in the church, I constantly saw Christians complaining about the actions of non-christians. I made a lot of noise about this, eventually pushing people away from me – unattracting them because I wouldn’t let someone make a point like this in front of me. I’d say, “You want people who don’t believe the same things as you do to act as if they do believe the same things as you.”
I still carry this with me – this whole idea of expecting people to fit my paradigms. Instead of doing that, my goal NOW is to find the people who already fit. The people who enjoy what I say, who appreciate my way of looking at the world.
So how do you find your tribe?
a. People know a fake, we all have a BS detector built in – if you are faking it, people will know, and worse, you’ll be attracting the wrong people to you with a half-hearted message. So pick a mission you believe in.
b. People will know when you are trying to impress them, and they will be unimpressed by this. So don’t worry about being impressive. Worry about having the right message for you, and the right mission for you.
c. Your tribe will – the right people – will resonate with you when you are being genuine and true to your nature
d. Be a giver, not a taker. Whatever you are doing, keep in your mind at all times that you want to give to people. If you start something with the idea of getting something out of it, and you are largely focused on that, it will start to come out in your words and mannerisms, and it will cease to attract the very people you want to attract. Which brings me to
I was writing in my journal on Friday, reflecting on how I can become better. Specifically I noticed that I wasn’t being very patient, gentle, or kind with my family. (I wasn’t being unkind, I just wasn’t actively being kind.)
My first thought was that I needed to step these things up a notch, and in a flash of thought I wrote down the words “SUPERIOR EXPERIENCE” – I don’t want my family to have a kind, or patient, or gentle husband and dad. I want to give my family a SUPERIOR EXPERIENCE. Something above the norm, above the expected.
I realize that I can give that to them. Not just going through the motions of life and doing what I’m supposed to, but to be actively engaged in giving them that experience.
How can I make their lives better as a result of my being on this earth?
I asked my journal, “how do I do that? How can I create this superior experience.”
And as I often do, I heard the voice of Jim Rohn in my head saying, “wherever you are, BE THERE!” being there, being in the moment.
And that is how I intend to give my family a superior experience. Because I realized the key to everything, really. The key to unlocking all of this is ATTENTION.
So it’s not just patience, but attention + patience
Not just kindness, but attention + kindness
Not just gentleness, but attention + gentleness.
You can take any quality that you want to have, and add attentiveness to it, and you will multiply the result enormously, and create a superior experience for anyone you come in contact with.
We all know that we live in a world that is constantly fighting for our attention. And it’s hard to break away from all of that and actually give that attention to someone else – but that is the mark of someone who will provide a superior experience. When you take the time to give your full attention to someone, you are saying “You are important, you mean something to me, you are valuable, and I care about what is going on right here, right now.”
Now, patience probably originally meant attentive patience, but we’ve dropped that meaning and watered down the word. Now, all I have to do to exhibit this new kind of patience is this: when someone is being annoying or irritating, if I don’t express my own annoyance or irritation, that’s considered being patient. I don’t think that is genuine patience.
Patience isn’t the struggle against saying something, it’s not the virtue of holding in what you really feel. That’s not it. This allows you to pat yourself on the back, and congratulate yourself – but why see yourself as some kind of a noble victim when you can be so much more. When you can ask yourself – WHY DOES THIS IRRITATE ME? WHY DOES THIS BOTHER ME SO MUCH? WHY IS MY MIND REACTING THE WAY IT IS?
And I’ve found the cure – a cure so counterintuitive that I’ve never heard it anywhere before. Being attentive and in the moment – truly giving your attention to whatever is annoying you – that is what will dispel your irritation.
And it makes sense. You see, our attention is always being pulled towards what we decide we want. And we get irritated when something or someone starts pulling attention away from what we want. But as soon as we willingly shift our focus to the annoying things, then that is our new focus – since it’s not pulling attention away from ourselves anymore, it has specifically lost its power to be annoying.
Simple, not easy. But that is how you give someone a superior experience.
CS Lewis was a genius when it came to delving into human nature and calling out the rough spots in humans. Believing his “why” is up to you, but it's hard to deny his knowledge of emotion and motivation. It's impossible to deny that we all go through ups and downs.
The interesting thing here is that whatever state we're in, we naturally think that we're going to stay in that state. And that creates tension for us, whether we're up or we're down. In fact, if I'm up and feel good about life, then when I get down, it's disappointing and I wonder, what did I do wrong? What happened? Or I blame someone else or something else for this down period that I'm going through. And when I'm down, I feel like I'm going to be in that state forever.
So I get even more down because it doesn't feel good to be there. It feels like I'm in this for the long haul. So in the end it looks like this:
When I'm, when I'm living in natural high, I think I'm going to be there forever. And when I fall down to a low, I say, “this sucks. I'm going to be here forever.” What we rarely take a hard look at is the natural occurrence of ups and downs in life. We're momentary creatures. The past doesn't really exist to us and neither does the future. So what we feel right now is all we feel. One of my personal development heroes. Jim Rohn, had a lot to say on the subject, but I want to narrow it down to a couple of really important lessons that I learned from him. He said that life is like the seasons and he compares each season in our lives
So the spring is opportunity - planting the crops. The summer is adversity, protecting and defending what we're growing. The fall is the harvest. And then the winter is the dark and downtime. We all have winters in our lives. Seasons where nothing seems to be working out. Life feels boring, or at least it feels unexciting. It feels unproductive and bleak. We have physical winters. We have emotional winters. This is the downtime in your life. And it doesn't necessarily line up with the winters that nature gives us. The frequency of the downtime is actually faster. The ups and downs, we feel are constant and they happen a lot faster than the actual season of winter. You can choose to be sad that a downtime is coming, or you can choose to be excited that an uptime is happening. That choice is yours and yours alone.
When you're in a winter, instead of lamenting that you're in the middle of winter, you have the choice to use the winter to get better, to get stronger and to get wiser. So when you are in a winter, what I do is I read the books, take seminars, classes, work on my skills, work on my gifts. I take time to reflect on past wins past losses. During a winter, become a student of your own life. You can use the winter to improve. You can use it to grow, use it, to improve, use it to become more than you are.
Or you could watch Netflix and eat potato chips and make excuses thinking of other reasons why your life is so hard. That choice is yours also.
And this next thing from Jim Rohn comes from something he called his Ant Philosophy. It's a great philosophy. Someday, I will talk about the entire thing. But one thing ants do is they think winter all summer long. So the entire summer, they keep thinking, “we won't be here long.” We better get ready for winter the entire summer. Then they're out, collecting everything they need to get through the winter. Ants understand that now is temporary. And that winter is coming on.
The reverse side of that is ants also think summer, all winter long.
I was rejected - turned down to get my songs published in 1994. In 2017, I was turned down again for newer, different music. With no success, I decided I just wasn't cut out for this business. Had I reflected at all on what happened in 94, I would have been in a much more solid position in 2017 -but I never analyzed what happened. Here's what I learned.
I'm in the process of doing an in-depth book review of Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang. The past couple of weeks is it has me reflecting on some of my past rejections and how they stunted my growth as an entrepreneur, but also some ways that those rejections have helped me 26 years ago, when I was 21 years old, I wrote three Christian songs. My parents bought me a, it was one of those public TV auctions, and somebody was giving away recording studio time. My parents bought it for me and I went and recorded these songs in a professional studio. That was my first studio experience and I loved it. So I got the songs. I brought them home. I had the tape, I made copies of the tape and I went and got the writer's digest for songwriters.
I created some nice little folder packages, and I sent the tapes of my recordings to about 10 publishers after doing some research in that guide over the next few weeks, I got three rejection letters in the mail and never heard back from the other seven. The rejection letters went, something like this, sorry, you're not, this is not what we were looking for. And I took that to mean you suck after being rejected. I decided I just wasn't cut out to be a songwriter. I gave up and started looking at other avenues that I could take to make money with my music in his book. Your next five moves. Patrick bet. David said, if you're going to lose, don't lose the lesson. But back then I was 21. I was foolish and I lost the lesson. I should have reflected, but I just didn't know enough.
At that young age, I wasn't hanging out with the right people. I was pretty reserved. So I didn't really about my problems or my emotions all that much. And I didn't seek any outside counsel. I didn't ask my parents. I didn't ask my pastor. I didn't ask anybody that I knew how to resolve this. I just decided I must suck as a songwriter. My first three songs that I ever wrote got rejected. So I've got to find something else to do. Had I sought out counsel, I would have hoped that they would have said something similar to what I would tell people today, which is that you continue writing music, continue submitting to publishers, call the publishers and songwriters and other people in the industry to find out how to do this, how to get this done, what skills do you need to learn in order to make it, and then go learn those skills and you keep trying and you keep figuring it out.
But back then, it was a lot easier for me just to say, I'm just not cut out to be a songwriter. And I did that after only three rejections. Here's a side note. It's really weird when I'm talking about past regrets and changing the past. Because at this point I love my life. I love where I am and I love where it's life has taken me to this point. So to go back, I wouldn't change anything because it would influence where I am and what I'm doing today, but for good or for bad, the lessons we learn can only be applied forward. It's unhealthy to keep wishing things were different to keep mentally applying the lessons backwards, but it is important to do that analysis and reflect so that in the future, you don't make the same or similar errors in thinking and similar errors in judgment.
My mentor, Joe Herbert from the job free economy podcast said that making mistakes is what is holding you back. If we could go through life without making any mistakes, we would constantly just be moving towards success. I believe that in stick to it. And I look for things that are going to help me avoid mistakes. I do that now, but I didn't do it back then. And speaking of making those&
Most creatives leave their work only half complete, and many complain about the uninspiring results. "Getting it out there" is more than uploading the work, sharing on a few select social media accounts, and then hoping people find what they are looking for.
https://www.niemanlab.org/2017/07/data-from-analyzing-5000-social-videos-suggests-that-only-1-percent-will-go-viral/#:~:text=%E2%80%94%20The%20elite%20one%20percent%3A%20Wochit,set%20of%20data%3A%201.1%20percent.
Transcript: Thank you for joining me today. I like to jump right into things. So the folly of talent versus viral content, this is what most creatives are missing. And this is what I was missing. When I began my creative journey, I used to say and believe just create good stuff and get it out into the world because that's what the world needs. So I would create good things and put them out in the world and get no return on it. But I would still tell my friends and anyone who I was advising the same thing, just do it and get it out there. That is really good. But that is only half the story I recorded about six albums in three years. And I went through all the complex problems that it takes to record and produce them in my home studio.
And then I went through the complex tasks that it takes to get them on iTunes and Spotify. And once those were up, I waited and waited and I was really disappointed. I have still not recouped the costs of recording that began in 2015. I've gotten one payment from iTunes for $28 and some change. But before I sound like I'm complaining, I still hear and see this out there. So many artists and musicians, bloggers, writers, and other creatives, they're all creating great content, but they're complaining that nobody cares about their work. They are missing probably the biggest piece to miss. It is not anyone's job to care about your work. It is not anyone's responsibility to care about your work. So maybe you're going to pick up some friends and family, but then you're going to wonder why it never went beyond that. And the answer is nobody needs to care about your stuff.
It's your job to make them care. The myth is that if you create good stuff, it should sell itself. And this just is not true. Once again, it is your job to make them care. People who create physical products know this they'll they'll create their physical product. And even though it was hard, they know that there's a second step. They know that they need to get out there and market it. But as creators, we seem to miss this, maybe because we've heard of videos going viral. So we're missing the point that we need to market our stuff. There is always a part two to getting your content out there. And this is what's missed by probably 99% of creatives. It's complex and difficult to create your own art, but it is also complex and difficult to get it out there. So you've gone through all these multiple steps to learn and then create whatever it is you've created.
It is wise to realize that you are only 50% of the way there. Part two is marketing. You either have to learn a whole new skill of marketing or turn it over to someone with that skill. And one thing that I've learned as I've gone through this entire marketing process myself, is that you either have to pay with your time or with your money. There is no other way. You're either going to be paying with time or paying with money. Well, there is one other way, and that is luck. You could sit back and let luck determine your fate, let luck determine your future. That is an option, but if you're not willing to do that, and you actually want to get your stuff out there and become marketable, then you have to take the time to learn...
Networking is almost magical - you cannot predict what changes will happen in your life as a result of meeting new people. Here are the four or five points you should have ready to being your new journey in networking - plus a story about how it worked for me. Change your people, change your life.
In the midst of an all-out war between my wife and me - I found a solution that changed everything. My mindset, skills, goals, reactions to adversity, and my personal education turned around 180 degrees.
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