Let's Talk Soon: Recent Episodes
Tricia Lott Williford & Rob A. Lott
Tricia & Rob discuss what they're reading about, writing about, thinking about, and speaking up about.
Episode 97 Top Ten Turn Ons
Show Notes
In a recent episode, Tricia had referred to a question that she wasn’t sure about asking her brother: “what turns you on?” But recently she found an article entitled “Top Ten Every-day Objects that People Get Turned On By!”
Together they decided to perhaps “generalize” that topic a bit by asking instead, “What gets you going?” Or in Rob’s words, “What gets your toe a-tappin?”
Thus, this episode became a Top Ten list, starting as top ten lists do, with #10 and working ‘up’ to #1! (Listen to the podcast to hear all ten!)
Quotes
“Rob! You’ve turned into our Dad!” – Tricia
“Your streets in heaven might be paved with gold; mine are going to be paved with cheesecake!” – Lynne Rumsey, family friend
“I have never left a bookstore because I was done. I just leave because…it’s time.” – Tricia
“Technically, I do have to say that I would pause… … …for Jimmy Fallon.” – Tricia
“Some people reserve drawers for filing things like appointments or tax returns. Rob’s drawer is filled with peanut butter cups. All. The. Time.” -- Rob
“Perseverating…it’s a real word.” – Tricia
“Ridiculosity?! Oh…now that’s a word I just made up!” – Tricia
“Rob, guess what? I upped my Twitter game!” -- Tricia
www.bluetrumpetcreative.com – Rob’s new company! Check it out and see if he can be of assistance to you or your organization!
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
Show Notes
Upon realizing that they’ve never really talked about core values, it was definitely time for that topic in today’s episode. Rob’s definition of core values: (1) something that is so innate in you, you don’t have a choice but to do any other thing; and (2) you are willing to be punished for it. These are different from aspirational values—the things you want and hope to do, but you may not get it 100% right.
What are the values of Let’s Talk Soon? Both agree that their core values intentionally relate to what we are “thinking about, reading about, writing about, and speaking up about.”
Together they talk about how their lifelong relationship as brother and sister—who set out to also be friends—has been a long journey of choosing, knowing, and living by core values.
(And even in a serious conversation about core values, laughter shows up.)
Quotes
“Of course, ‘fun’ is one of the values of my company, Blue Trumpet Creative, because…well, it’s my company.” – Rob
“A value of our company is that we tip well, because…we’re generous! It’s a company value.” – Rob
“I wouldn’t say that we are justice fighters, but I would say that we’re intentional about being thought leaders.” – Tricia
“There is a core value in just being fully engaged where you are—as Bob Goff talks about, being where your feet are. Stop paying attention to other things, things that are happening tomorrow or happened yesterday; just be where your feet are. Wiggle your toes, feel the earth underneath you, and be where you are right now.” – Rob
“Time is the great non-renewable resource.” – Brene Brown
Sources Quoted or Recommended (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other media resources)
McKelvey Douglas, Every Moment Holy. Available on Amazon.com
www.bluetrumpetcreative.com – Rob’s new company! Check it out and see if he can be of assistance to you or your organization!
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
Episode 90 Intellectual Amplitude
Show Notes
For reasons unknown, Tricia’s name on Rob’s screen shows up as “Intellectual Amplitude!” He does not know why, and yet—there it is. They decide to look up the definition, and Tricia is not very impressed to learn that the definition is “the state or quality of being…ample!” Rob tries his best to ease the situation by reminding her that perhaps her “intellect” is the only part of her that is…well, ample!
This episode is being recorded the day after the SuperBowl, when many on social media are giving their opinions on the quality of the halftime show entertainment. Rob has some thoughts to share about the challenges of creating art, knowing that it may be widely acclaimed—or perhaps sharply criticized. Tricia is equally prepared to talk about the food at SuperBowl parties!
The topic eventually changes to the topic of manipulation. Perfect example? The song, The Christmas Shoes!
Also, this episode ends with a little recording by “Robbie, age 6!”
Quotes
“If you are dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you are smart, surround yourself with people who disagree with you.” – Anonymous, but quoted by Rob
“When something is great, professionals call it great and celebrate its being great! But when something is good…professionals question why it wasn’t great.” – Rob
“The more I create, the less critical I become of other creators.” – Rob
“I think I have actually had one good SuperBowl experience—and that was five years ago! But I am separating the experience out from the SuperBowl menu.” –Tricia
“People tend to become irrationally angry about food! It helps if you put everything in perspective: “Listen, man—this is about a hamburger.” – Tricia
“I used to think that drama was when the actor cries. Turns out, drama is when the audience cries.” – Rob, quoting an anonymous actor.
“If the people you’re interacting with discover what you already know, will they be glad that they did what you asked them to do?” – Seth Godin
“It is far better to express that you want something for another person, than that you want something from another person.” – Andy Stanley
“If the people in front of you knew what you know, would they be glad that they did what you’re asking them to do?” – Tricia
Sources Quoted or Recommended (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other media resources)
www.bluetrumpetcreative.com – Rob’s new company! Check it out and see if he can be of assistance to you or your organization!
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
Episode 89 Why Everyone Should Have a Podcast
Show Notes
Tricia is eager to begin this conversation by telling Rob about her recent dream in which Rob told her that she is talking too much on the podcast! He was quick to clarify that this was a dream on her part, and he is not guilty of any remarks he has made “in conversations that did not happen!” But while they were in ‘clarifying’ mode, Rob also needs to correct Tricia in this episode about a comment she made in the last episode in which she said that “Dad may have brought a bat or a golf club to conquer the squirrel.” Rob’s correction: “Did a bat or a golf club EVER cross the threshold of our house?”
In this podcast, Tricia and Rob talk about the benefits of having a podcast—and why everyone should have a podcast—or write a book or have a Youtube channel or write a blog, simply because it is an incredible way to catalog and save memories and insights, to document our own lives. They suggest that even if you only do it for yourself or your closest family or friends, getting your words out of your mind and into some recorded form will help you clarify what you truly think and believe. Both have learned the value—Tricia through writing books, Rob through creating podcasts—of getting your own thoughts out where you can truly see or hear them, and then examine them to ask yourself: “Is this really what I think or believe?”
Quotes
“Clarity comes over the lips and through pencil tips.” – Rob, quoting anonymous speaker
“What are you already good at? What are you most excited about? That’s what you should write or talk about.” – Tricia, advice to new bloggers or podcasters
“’Hey, you’re like…a real person! You’re not just the one who puts the milk in the fridge! You’ve done some stuff, you’ve lived some stuff. You have things to say that I want to hear…actually.’ …They’re seeing me as a person whom they might like…actually.” –Tricia, quoting the intended meaning she has received from recent comments from her son as he has read her books.
Sources Quoted or Recommended (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other media resources)
The Armchair Expert –a podcast series by Dax Shepard
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
Episode 88 A Special Visitor in the House
Show Notes
In this episode, Tricia and Rob relate a growing-up memory that happened when they were about 14 and 12, respectively: The Time A Squirrel Got into the House at 4am and We All Got Involved in Getting it OUT!
Together they talk about the night in the early 1990’s when our mom heard ‘something’ downstairs and, as moms will generally do, woke up our dad to go find out what that noise was. Sure enough, there was definitely “something” in the house—and it was alive and moving!”
And Tricia jumped onto the dining room table, and Rob grabbed the colander….and the rest, as they say, is…Lott family history.
Quotes
“Polly? Get up—you need to see this. And we need to wake the kids…” – Doyle, at 4am
“If I’m going to help you with homework, we will have to make it FUN.” – Doyle, anytime
“There is nothing more optimistic than setting things on the stairs and hoping someone will carry them up. It’s blind optimism—and all moms do it.” -- Tricia
“He threw out his arms like a BAT! He was a flying squirrel! I did not know these existed outside of Africa!” – Tricia
“So, I was sitting on the kitchen table, and you and Dad were in the bathroom with Hitler the Squirrel!” –Tricia
“I venture to say, you put a flying squirrel in anybody’s house, and things are gonna get loud!” -- Tricia
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
Radical Self-care
Show Notes
In this “serious” episode, Tricia tells about having recently “hit a wall” emotionally. She talks frankly about her decade of weekly visits with her therapist, and how essential that is for her emotional and mental well-being. In the most recent visit, Tricia was near burn-out: unable to sleep, nauseous, physically depleted from the weight of her various responsibilities and commitments. Her wise therapist required that she “go home, cancel everything for a minimum of the next 48 to 72 hours, and go straight to bed.” She talks frankly about the sense of failure that goes with an assignment like this one, though she had to agree that her therapist was right. In this episode, Tricia talks of the lessons and truths she discovered through this “required time-out.” A healthy discussion ensues about all that we take on, even in the midst of COVID, using all our technology and time-saving devices to actually fill up our time with more “stuff” until we wear ourselves out.
Quotes
“I wasn’t tired from physical things; I was tired from emotional things. But there is a direct link between physical and emotional things, between emotional stamina and physical fatigue.” – Tricia
“I need to figure out how to say ‘no’ for a while until I can figure out how to say ‘yes.’” – Tricia
“My definition of a day off equals a day when no one is requiring anything of me. I can still do the work that I want to do, when I want to do it and how I want to do it, and still consider it a day off because it is on my timeline and nobody is requiring it of me. “ – Rob
“I have a rule: however publicly I have hurt someone is how publicly I have to apologize. So when I find that I need to apologize more and more…then I know I need to take some things off the calendar, go out ‘into the desert,’ relax a bit, take some breaths, and come back when you are more calm, rejuvenated and rested.” – Rob
“As we come out of COVID, we leaders need to understand that our ability to lead, create, and do the work that needs to be done—with the stamina that we used to have—it will take some time to get back there again. And we need to give the people around us that same grace.” – Rob
“The things that make you stronger are connection, rest, and self-compassion. And I was not good at…really, any of those.” -- Tricia
“All you can do is all you can do, and all you can do is enough.” Tricia, quoting A.L. Williams, Jr.
Sources Quoted or Recommended (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other media resources)
Burnout: the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski.
www.bluetrumpetcreative.com – Rob’s new company! Check it out and see if he can be of assistance to you or your organization!
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
Episode 85 Tricia’s Been Invited on a Cross-Country Road Trip
Show Notes
“If you were about to go on a cross-country road trip with a new friend whom you know little about and they know little about you, and if we wanted to learn a little about each other in advance, what would be ‘required’ reading, viewing, or listening in advance of our road trip?” Rob stumped Tricia with this question for just a couple of minutes, but she quickly recovered…well, reasonably quickly! Together they share quotes from many sources—books, TV series, podcasts, friends—in answer to this question.
Quotes
How to enjoy the West Wing TV series (Rob’s very favorite) if you missed it in its prime? “First, pay attention to the rate and pace of the dialogue…a lot of people try to emulate that style! And pay attention to the’ clean line’ delivery. There is no stutter or stammer unless it is scripted.” – Rob
“For us non-governmental people, we don’t don’t work in government and don’t know the terminology—and yet, we are able to pay attention and know what they’re talking about! It’s a good study in context clues.” – Rob
“Some people get panicky without water. Some people get panicky if they don’t know where the nearest restroom is. Some people get panicky when they can’t find the exit to the room and know their strategy? Listen: I am fine anywhere as long as I have a book with me.” – Tricia
“The ‘what I do’ comes from Now, Discover Your Strengths, by Marcus Buckingham. The “why” I do it comes from Seth Godin’s Linchpin, and the “how” I do it comes from Jim Collins’ Great by Choice.
“I don’t always know the right thing to do, Lord, but I think the fact that I want to do the right thing that pleases you.” – a line from West Wing
“You can never ‘not’ like someone after you have heard their story.” – Fred Rogers
“Empathy is not agreeing. You can have empathy for a person without agreeing with their lifestyle, their choices, the decisions they’ve made or the things that they stand for. You can look and them at listen, and think ‘what is that like? Who taught you that?” – Nadia Bolzweber
‘Every behavior makes sense within context.” – Phil Vaughan
Sources Quoted (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other booksellers)
Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections between Sexuality and Spirituality, by Rob Bell
Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert
The West Wing (especially the first four seasons!)
Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg
Great by Choice, by Jim Collins
Linchpin, by Seth Godin
Gilmore Girls – TV series
The Confessional – a podcast with Nadia Bolzweber (“a liberal thinker and a lover of messy people”—Tricia)
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
Episode 84 Redefining the Goal
Show Notes
In this episode, Tricia returns to the book they discussed last time, Burnout: the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Authors Emily and Amelia Nagoski talk in their book about the value of redefining “winning.” Apparently, our brains are constantly reassessing the task we are attempting, whether it is possible—and/or worth it. Sometimes, our brains realize that it’s going to be necessary to redefine the win to make the goal attainable, or to match the new direction we’ve chosen to go instead. Rob has had plenty of experience with this principle in his acting and recording roles, in which recording can be a tedious process.
Sometimes, to be successful and “win” at a difficult process, the authors suggest that you “redefine winning.” Tricia and Rob engage in a lively discussion of experiences from their own lives that further illustrate what it means to ‘redefine the win,” particularly as it is demonstrated in the performing arts, or writing a book—or keeping up a home!
Quotes
“Movies will make you famous, television will make you rich, live theatre will make you good.” –quoted by Rob, author unknown.
“We want the audience dancing out of the theatre…everything will lead to this emotional place where they just cannot wait to jump to their feet in applause at the end; they want to join the fun that is happening onstage, and they will dance out of the theatre into the parking lot like a New Orleans parade!” – Rob
“Art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.” –Cesar A. Cruz
“So, making a recording is a long, difficult process. Putting on a production: long, difficult process. Writing a book: long difficult process. You know what else can be a really long, difficult process? Cleaning my kitchen!” – Tricia
“Sometimes you have to do the things you don’t want to do, in order to do the things you do want to do.” – Polly (Tricia and Rob’s mom)
“Dysentery from my kitchen?? That’s horrific!” – Tricia
“There should be at least one sentence in everything I make that causes me to be like, ‘Man, that’s good! I like that sentence! I like how that came together.’” – Tricia
“We do not do this: we do not use exclamation points! It’s like laughing at your own joke!” – Tina Fey
Sources Quoted (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other booksellers)
Burnout: the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!
Episode 83 Human Being vs. Human Giver
Show Notes
Tricia and Rob’s discussion on this podcast was prompted by a recent interview Tricia heard on Brene’ Brown’s podcast series, Unlocking Us, that featured a discussion on the book, Burnout, the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily Nagoski. In her book, Nagoski specifically focuses on burnout and what it looks like, especially among women. One of the emotions Nagoski describes is called Human Giver Syndrome (initially described in Down Girl: the Logic of Misogyny): when one class of people, the human givers, are expected to offer their time, attention, affection and bodies, willingly and placidly to the other class of people, the human beings. Generally speaking, in our society, women are the Givers. In this episode, Tricia discusses the stressors that Givers can feel and how to release the stress that will get your body breathing deeply again. Rob and Tricia discuss several practical ways to relieve stress, based on advice from the experts: choose the music that helps you to release stress, or watch a movie that allows you to feel the emotions that are already brewing anyway, such as anger or sadness, or a great way is to release stress is simply to laugh!
Still feeling stressed? Try the “six-second kiss!’
Quotes
“’Beings’ just get to just ‘be.’ They are born with a light on their noggins of glory and hallelujah, they were “born to be.” – Tricia
“We givers are tired. We might even be approaching the space of…very tired.” –Tricia
“You can’t necessarily step away from the stressors. I mean…you gave birth to them. They’re staying.” – Tricia
“Be mindful of your ‘tone policing!’” – Rob
“If looking at that hard truth in the mirror causes you to feel uncomfortable, that might be the thing that we need to address.” – Tricia
“I dare say there is an inner Miss Piggy in most of us…” – Tricia
“Physical activity is what tells your brain that you have successfully survived the threat, and now your body is a safe place to live.” – Tricia, quoting
Sources Quoted (more information available on www.amazon.com or other booksellers)
Burnout: the Secret of Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily Nagoski
Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny, by Kate Manne
Bossypants, by Tina Fey
Episode 82 Calling Out vs Calling In
Show Notes
In this episode, Tricia and Rob begin with a lively discussion about Jerry Seinfeld’s latest book, Is This Anything?
Rob brings this question to today’s discussion: When do you think it is important to be public in your calling out of poor behavior, versus when it is important to be private about it? Is it best to always be private about calling someone out, or should the size of the audience who witnessed or heard the offense match the calling-out response?
Quotes
”Peter knows coffee and bacon like other people know brain surgery!” –Tricia
“If we knew there were just thousand of appetites just lined up, one right behind the other, why would we be so careful to not spoil this one? There are millions of appetites lined up right behind this one, just waiting for me to use them!” – Tricia and Rob, loosely quoting Jerry Seinfeld
“I don’t want to make anyone feel bad about who they are, least of all my kids—publicly! We are figuring out lots of things in this house privately, as a foursome.” – Tricia
“Why do we have two ears and one mouth? To do twice the listening and half the speaking.” – Tricia
“Love first, then correct.” – Phil Vaughan
“Are you capable of celebrating what someone else is enjoying?” – Rob
“An open invitation is an unbearable expectation for some of us. You know what that sounds like? Not my problem! I’m not going! But…that’s not me.” – Tricia
“I’m not triple-booked; I’m triple-invited. I’m probably not going to do any of those things today…” –Rob
Sources Quoted (more information may be available on www.amazon.com or other booksellers)
Is This Anything? –a new book by Jerry Seinfeld
Let’s Talk Soon is honored to promote our sponsor for this episode, Heyer Expectations, an executive recruiting company. They specialize in the fields of technology and cloud design, but also Peter Heyer, CEO, can find anyone for any position to meet your company’s needs! If you’d like to chat with him about your hiring needs, send him an email at heyerexpectations.com!