Toasted: A podcast about seeing failure as a superpower: Recent Episodes
Nick Fargnoli and Margie Wright
Toasted is hosted by Margie Wright and Nick Fargnoli, who are both Rebound Coaches, educators, parents and humans. They have lived through deep failure and come out better for it on the other side. In this podcast they talk about failure with "normal" people and strive to reframe our understanding of what it means to fail.
It's the night before school and all through the house not a teacher was stirring... except for the 3rd grade teacher, the social worker, the parent of a new teacher, and the district administrator on this week's Toasted Podcast. We are continuing our Summer Solo Series and this week Margie hosts a mini Keuka College reunion with Steve Schouten, Beth Greer, and Denise McGinley about the start of the new school year in their respective roles, experience, and own life lessons along the way. Join the conversation where Failure is explored through various lenses, descriptions, and perceptions along with who their favorite teacher was in their own childhood. It's the Back to School episode, Cheers!
Guests:
Steve Schouten - Father of a 1st year Teacher
Beth Greer - Social Worker
Denise McGinley - 3rd grade teacher
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In this episode, Nick interviews his mom, Margaret Fargnoli. They talk about the fact that what we set out to do in life often looks very different from the reality. They also talk about the way in which our children are unique, which means that how we approach them in their times of trouble (or triumph) needs to be tailored to their unique personalities. We hope you enjoy this episode!
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Join us as we navigate the intricate labyrinth of life's failures and obstacles with our esteemed guest, Tricia Zeller. As a mental health counselor with a special focus on adolescents, Tricia guides us through the vital topic of mental health. We unravel the various ways our cultural heritage can mold our perspective on mental well-being and discuss the growing acceptance of mental health assistance, especially in the backdrop of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Turning to the often-avoided subject of failure, we ponder its unexpected role as a catalyst for personal growth. With Tricia's insightful inputs, we analyze how our reactions to setbacks can define us as individuals. We not only discuss the idea of 'remembering to remember' to avoid internal distress but also ponder over the essential role of persistence and a solid support system in achieving success.
Finally, we steer our conversation towards the futuristic field of Artificial Intelligence (AI) and its impact on learning. We examine the pros and cons of leaning heavily on grades as the sole measure of success as well as mull over the escalating pressure on students in the academic world. Our chat concludes on a hopeful note, with a discussion on the potential of AI in enriching our lives. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation; immerse yourself in the robust discussion that spans failure, mental health, AI, and learning.
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In this episode, Nick has a conversation with Alana Winnick about Artificial Intelligence. (Margie was unable to record...and somehow trusted Nick to do this on his own.) They discuss Alana's new book, Generative Age, and explored the implications of AI in education. Cheers!
You can find Alana here:
https://sites.google.com/view/alana-winnick
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In this episode, Margie is solo because Nick is on vacation. She talks with colleague and friend, Jenny Sobilo about maintaining a work/life balance in the face of all that life throws at you. It's a facinating discussion and one that relates to all of us. Cheers!
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In this episode, Melissa Taccia (Margie's sister) joins Nick and Margie for a conversation about divorce. As unfortunate as it is, divorce is a common experience for many people and it often raises feeling of failure. Melissa shares her divorce story, highlighting both her thinking at the time and her thoughts now. She shares priceless advice on how to cope with, and think about, divorce. Cheers!
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In this episode Nick and Margie welcome Eliott Wright to the podcast. Eliott, in addition to being Margie's son, is a 3 year apprentice electrician and Marine Reservist. He talks about an experience he had while on a military training exercise and explores the impact it has had on him. His discussion is thought provoking and inspiring. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk to Meg Gillio, a professor of English at Finger Lakes Community College and mother of two teenagers. In addition to being a professor and parent, Meg is also an advocate for parents with neurodivergent children because she has first hand experience. She shares some of that experience in this episode, and does so with humility and honesty. This is a wonderful and reassuring episode and we hope you enjoy it.
Cheers!
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In this episode, Margie talks with Toasted's good friend, Steve Schouten about the world of work. In particular they talk about evaluating life circumstances and making a deliberate choice to step down the career ladder. Their conversation is not only interesting but funny, emotional and inspiring. Cheers!
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In this episode, Margie and Nick talk to Shanna Butler. Shanna is a surviver, an advocate, a philosopher...you name it. She currently works at Happiness House in Canandaigua, NY, but her story and experiences transcend place and provide perspective in a truly inspiring way. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk about failure as a time of opportunity--a time to reprioritize ideals and values. Along the way they discuss personal experiences of how life has forced reflection and recalibration in positive ways...albeit uncomfortably at times. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk to Elizabeth English--a Reiki Master who lives in Fredonia, NY--about her experience with Reiki. Elizabeth explains that her journey began as an attempt to help her son. She was looking for some other pathways, and as a practicing RN, she recognized that being open to alternative medicine was a potential avenue. She talks about her experiences in her personal and professional practice, but also touches on the intersection of her Christianity and Reiki. This is a fascinating discussion with a lovely guest. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk with their dear friend, and educational superstar, Dr. Katie McFarland. Aside from being a wonderful human being, Dr. McFarland is the Director of Technology and Innovation at Geneva City School District. She talks about the importance of mindset, community, reframing, and learning with compassion. This is wonderful conversation and we hope you enjoy it. Cheers!
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This week's episode is a special one because we are joined by Andy Wheelock, a Technology Integrator at Erie 1 BOCES and the host of the Coffee with a Geek Podcast. Andy talks about his experience learning from his own failures while creating a digital world. He explores the idea of iteration, perseverence and collaboration. The reality of our technology rich world is that we all need to be prepared to fail and learn, which is an uncomfortable experience for some people. Andy demonstrates how failing and learning benefited him personally and suggests, by extension, how it can benefit others. Cheers!
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What role does voice play in failure? That is the question we tackle in this episode of the Toasted podcast. Margie and Nick explore the intersections of voice, domains, and imposter syndrome. Ultimately, we find the absence of voice, the removal of domain, to be the technical definition of failure. Though mostly a mental game, failure is difficult specifically because it robs us of our voice--and, by extention, our identity. Cheers!
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In the process of RISING through failure, we learn many things. Often, when the dust settles we find ourselves in the position of offering advice to others. While this can be intimidating and humbling, there is a beauty to the fact that we have learned lessons that we can share. Our hope is that this episode reassures others that they can share what they have learned, and we hope that you will reach out to someone if you need advice. Nobody gets through failure alone...so don't feel like you need to. Cheers!
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In this episode, Margie, Nick and Steve Schouten talk about things that they fear. Among other discussions, they talk about foods that they fear...and have many laughs. They also talk about places, experiences and climate change. We hope you enjoy some comic relief and consider your relationship to your fears. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk about the cyclical nature of overcoming failure...and maybe of life generally. They talk about the difference between engaging in community for an introvert and extrovert, trying new things, and staying energized in troubled times. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie discuss the fact there is much to be learned from failure. We sometimes don't take stock of how much we have learned until we find ourselves helping others through their hard times. Sometimes when we realize just how much we have learned it is both inspiring and humbling. We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you are someone looking for help through a difficult situation, please reach out: toastedthepodcast@gmail.com
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Yeah, this episode has nothing to do with college hoops...but it does seem to be an appropriate title nonetheless. In this episode, Nick and Margie talk about spring and how it’s truly a wonderful time of year. As with most things, however, it’s not that black and white. Spring also carries with it expectations of “newness” and “rebirth” and it’s easy to get caught in cycles of negativity when our real lives don’t meet our expectations. We hope you find it relatable because it certainly resonated with us. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk to Sarah Andreacchi about somatics. Sarah teaches a variety of classes at Cobblestone Arts Center in Canandaigua, NY. With a background in dance and yoga, Sarah is deeply in tune with "body" and "movement" and talks about the way the two are easily brushed aside in a mind-centric world. After explaining a bit about her background, Sarah offers some ways in which we can all reconnect with our bodies and live a fuller, more in-tune lives.
Sarah is certified through Sondra Fraleigh's East West Somatics. https://www.eastwestsomatics.com/
You can reach her at: sarah.somatherapy@gmail.com
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In this episode, Margie and Nick muse on the idea of failure and have an improvisational conversation about their ideas "in the moment." Along the way they discuss Pi Day, Pie, and music. They give strategies to conceptualize failure in a concrete way that also allows us to shed its burden. This is a fun and hopefully entertaining conversation...Cheers!
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Continuing our discussion about how music influences our lives, Dan McAlpin (Director of Human Resources at Newark Central School) shares his list of top ten songs. In addition to being a closet discographer, Dan is an exceptionally well tempered human and wise mentor to those with whom he works. He's a great friend to us both and we hope you enjoy his list:
Devil Knows You're Dead-Delta Spirit
Don't Worry Baby-The Beach Boys
More Today Than Yesterday-Spiral Staircase
Blonde On Blonde-Nada Surf
So We Won't Forget-Khruangbin
Life On Mars-David Bowie
Flow with It-St. Paul and the Broken Bones
Rengades of Funk-Rage Against The Machine
Keep It Coming Love-KC & Sunshine Band
Hearts On Fire-John Cafferty
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Yep, that's right...we are talking about a fear that most parents have: Am I messing my kids up? It's a great question without many answers, but we spend this episode sharing our thoughts and fears about our kids and how we may be "screw them up." Along the way we talk about how work gets in the way of parenting, how money is a real issue we deal with, and how to enjoy the little things. These are our greatest assests and we are thrilled to share some of our most vulnerable thoughts with you for consideration. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk to Natalie Vardabasso, an assessment expert and entrepreneur, who is deeply interested in facilitating widespread educational change. Natalie talks about her past and how she became an educator with a passion for assessment, her podcast #eduCrush, her views on failure as learning, and her framework for helping districts develop more nuanced and meaningful assessment practices. Along the way, Natalie talks about her interest in self awareness as a starting point for all educators, the false "learning loss" narrative, and her new venture-The Empowerment Ecosystem. This is a wonderful discussion and we hope you enjoy it! Cheers!
You can reach Natalie on Twitter and Instagram: @natabasso
Listen to #educrush here: https://educrushpod.libsyn.com/
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After a one-week hiatus, Nick and Margie recount their recent trip to Philly before exploring the epic failure that was last week. The cover their process for coping with what was both a professional and personal rough spell. They look--with humor--at their own failings and talk about applications to the broader world. Along the way they talk about movies, parenting, tequila and wine. Cheers!
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In this episode, Margie and Nick talk to Nicole Wright--Margie's daughter-in-law--about when succeeding is a failure. Nicole explains how she did all the things she set out to do and still found herself short of her goal. By her own definition she had failed. She explores what it feels like to fail, how she copes with it, and what it has meant in her life at large. She also discusses depression, the millennial generation's openness with mental health, and the need for compassionate existence. If you want to learn more about Nicole you can follow her at @nicoleknowsbooks on Instagram. Cheers!
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In this episode, Margie and Nick talk with Dr. Sarah Heidebrink-Bruno, a professor of Humanities at Finger Lakes Community College, about her experiences with postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and motherhood while completing a PhD. Sarah shares a very intimate view of her post-birth experiences, leading to discussions about personal and societal expectations of mothers, self compassion, and strategies to tune out the noise. This is a truly wonderful conversation and we hope you enjoy it. Cheers!
*A word of caution: this episode does deal with mental health conditions and other serious medical conditions. Anyone who is struggling with these conditions should consult their doctor about treatment options that meet their needs.
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In this week's Toasted Tuesday episode our good friend, Steve Schouten, rejoins us to discuss 10 songs and artists that inspire his RISING through. Spoiler Alert: Steve can't stick to ten...but here is his list:
- U2 - Bad
- Bruce Springstein- Born To Run
- Bob Marley - Three Little Birds
- Tom Petty - I Wont Back Down
- REM - Everybody Hurts
- Lee Ann Womack - I Hope You Dance
- Allman Bros - Soulshine
- DMB - Two Step
- Foo Fighters - Everlong
- Dead - Box of Rain
Honorable Mention:
- Aerosmith - Dream On
- New Radicals - You Get What You Give
- Jimmy Cliff - The Harder They Come
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In this episode Margie and Nick talk with the founding principal of Science Leadership Academy (SLA), Chris Lehmann. In Chris's words SLA is a "Project-Based, Caring" school in Philadelphia, PA. Chris talks about the impetus to create a school that valued core educational values, but he centers on the idea of Inquiry as theme throughout his talk. He also explores the idea of forced failure as something that happens when we can't change the outcome because forces beyond our control are at play. Throughout this talk Chris demonstrates the humility and intelligence that make him one of the top educational thinkers today. We hope you enjoy this conversation! Cheers!
https://scienceleadership.org/
https://www.amazon.com/stores/Chris-Lehmann/author/B0052GVWI6?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
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In this episode, Margie and Nick chat with business consultant, Allison Whiting. As the owner of Intent, a consulting group based out of Rochester, NY, Allison has been working with companies to shift cultures for the last 20 years. She talks about her journey, illustrating the role that fate, mentors and luck have on the direction of our lives. She also touches on the idea that when we play to our strengths, aligning our lives with our natural "superpowers," we live better and accomplish more. She also talks about her journey to find balance through yoga and music. This is a wonderful episode with a wonderful guest. Cheers!
https://www.thetimberhouse.org/
https://www.alignwithintent.com/home
https://heathbrothers.com/books/the-power-of-moments/
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Happy Toasted Tuesday! We love books and in this episode we talk about books that were integral to our childhoods. We highlight the books that we loved, but also those that shaped our conceptions of self, world, and failure. It turns out that the way we see the world as adults is greatly influenced by the materials we grow up with. We also invite our listeners to email us (toastedthepodcast@gmail.com) or connect with us via social media to let us know which books were most important to you and your development? Which shaped your thinking about failure? Life? Family? Etc. We hope you enjoy the episode. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk about New Year's Eve and New Year Intentions. Although they have different practices, both agree that the idea of designing intentions that accentuate personality traits can be helpful in sticking to your intentions. The focus these intentions bring to the daily "grind" of life can be very satisfying to reflect on at the end of the year, and they can build-up your humanity...instead of tearing it down. Along the way they discuss personal finance (Nick recommends The So Money Podcast genereally and specifically the episode with Vee Weir...linked below), the need for educational shifts around failure, and how to see failure as a strength and not a weakness.
https://podcast.farnoosh.tv/episode/vee-weir/
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This is the last episode of 2022! What a year it has been! We have learned much about life, failure, and podcasting. More importantly, we are excited to see what 2023 has in store for us. In this episode we review the important words we heard in 2022 and think about what we hope to do and accomplish in 2023. We are excited to take the podcast on the road and do more speaking engagements as well as produce more content. So we wish you a very Happy New Year and hope you find in it some peace of mind. Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk with Margie's long-time friend and Buffalo resident, Steve Schouten. In 2017, Steve's wife passed away from a blood disease, but prior to that Steve and his family had to learn to live with the disease. He tells his story and discusses the idea of perceived failure--that nagging feeling that you could have/should have/would have done more--and unpacks his journey through some intense emotions. Along the way they discuss the Buffalo beer scene, the Holdiays, music and learning to accept where you are at right now. This is an emotional and deep episode and we hope you enjoy it. Cheers!
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Happy Tuesday! In this week's #Toasted Tuesday, Nick and Margie discuss two books that were/are important to their RISING through. Nick talks about Ashley Whillans's book Time Smart which really teaches us how to leverage our time in a manner that puts us in control of it...rather than the other way around. Margie talks about Better than Before and focuses on the self awareness it takes to develop time management skills. Along the way they discuss "epic exhaustion," the holiday crunch, 2022, 2023 and the role creativity plays in life. Please don't forget to leave a review or rating on the platform you are using to listen to the podcast. Cheers!
To learn more about the authors check out these links:
Time Smart: https://ashleywhillans.com/
Better Than Before: https://gretchenrubin.com/books/better-than-before/
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In this episode, Nick and Margie discuss their week, which was a mashup of both great stuff and not so great stuff. This becomes the jumping off point for the rest of the podcast because life, it turns out, isn't a linear experience. We have highs and lows and sometimes in very close proximity. Our own ability to tune in to these experiences and maintain equinimity in the face of Holiday Bliss and Holiday Despair can lead us toward a happier existence. If we give our selves permission to grow and reinvent experiences we can prevent "the second arrow" and grow from all our hardships. We hope this show resonates with you. If it does, please leave a comment or review in the Podcast app. Cheers!
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Full disclosure...this episode was super fun to make!! Dr. Lesli Myers-Small is one of the most decorated educators around. Her career has spanned 30 years, and she's done it all...all the highs and all the lows. In this episode, she reminds us that it's all part of the process of living...the good and the bad. She discusses food, teaches Nick about Rocky Mountain Oysters, explains how family and music were operative to her own RISING through, and she anoints us all into the family...the Toasted Family. Lesli Myers-Small rocks this episode in every way imaginable. Please enjoy...and...Cheers!
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Welcome to Toasted Tuesday! In this conversation, Nick and Margie discuss The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less (2017), by Christine Carter, Ph.D. Specifically, they talk about Nick's perspective on the book as a tool that listeners may find helpful.
They discuss:
- Social-Emotional Wellbeing
- Multitasking
- Saying, "NO"/Setting Boundaries
- Managing Time
- Creating Habits
- Maintaining a Positive Frame of Mind
For more information about Christine Carter, Ph.D. check out: https://www.christinecarter.com/
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In this episode, Nick and Margie talk with Dr. Shaun Nelms, superintendent of East High School, Professor of Educational Leadership at University of Rochester, and Founder of Nelms Consulting Group. Despite his many hats, Shaun is a down to earth human being who talks about his focus on process, continuous improvement and the need for centering leadership in the people we serve. He outlines some stories from his life that explain how he came to these beliefs and advocates for attending to personal balance and purpose driven work. In many ways, Shaun is a poster child for success so we are so thankful to have had a discussion with him about the incremental failures that have led to that success. Cheers!
Https://www.nelmsconsultinggroup.com
Https://www.warner.rochester.edu
Https://www.rcsdk12.org/east
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This episode will air on November 23rd, the day before Thanksgiving, and we thought it might be interesting to look at the soundtrack of our own RISING throught, and thank the artists for making these songs. Though some of the artists are no longer around, the idea of gratitude and exploration are at the core of learning to transcend whatever life throws your way. Though our lists vary wildly, we both listened to music for similar reasons: nostalgia, escape, reflection, agression, and fun. The point is that the music that moves you from point A to point B may not be classy...but if it moves you it's important. We are both so thankful for this music, and for these artists, and on this Thanksgiving we hope they know the difference they have made in our lives. We hope you enjoy this extended episode and we look forward to rejoining you next week. Cheers!
Nick's List:
Bulls on Parade: Rage Against The Machine
Bad Self-Portraits: Lake Street Dive
No Sleep, 'til Brooklyn: Beastie Boys
Who Knows: Jimi Hendrix
She Said, She Said: The Beatles
Cake by the Ocean: DNCE
One More Day: The Wood Brothers
Casey Jones: The Grateful Dead
Signed, Sealed, Delivered: Stevie Wonder
Real Slim Shady: Eminem
Margie's List:
Rescue: Lauren Daigle
Just Be Held: Casting Crowns
Set Fire to the Rain : Adele
Don’t Stop Me Now: Queen
Natural: Imagine Dragons
Run Like a Rebel: The Score
Feel This Moment: Pitbull w/ Christina Aguilera
La La Land soundtrack (particularly Another Day of Sun & Audition/The Fools Who Dream)
Worship: Lizzo
Nobody Knows: Lumineers
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Beginning this week we will release a book talk every other Tuesday to discuss books that were important to our own RISING through. In this episode, we discuss Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. Cameron's book, as we explain, is founded on two main "actions": daily writing and artist dates. The former is perhaps the hardest, as maintaining a daily writing habit is time consuming and sometimes just plain hard; the latter, the artist dates, are curated experiences that mean something to you and that you do "alone." We give our takes on each of these activites and their significance to our own evolution through failure. In both of our lives, this book and these experiences have ushered in new understandings of our selves that directly impacted how we think about our relationships with other people and with our work. It would be hard to overstate the impact that this book had on us, and we want to share some of our thoughts on it with you. So...Cheers!
For more information about Julia Cameron and The Artist Way check out her website: https://juliacameronlive.com
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In this episode, Nick and Margie record live that Nolan's on the Lake in Canandaigua, NY. Their good friend and master mixologist, JT Stahl, makes them Bloody Marys and they talk about how pivots are not epiphanies. They touch on some of the issues that surround making decisions in the aftermath of--or in the midst of-failure. And they talk about the Bruce Feiler book, Life is in the Transitions. Putting yourself back in the equation can be the first step to RISING through. Cheers!
Email: toastedthepodcast@gmail.com
www.toastedpodcast.com
https://www.nolansonthelake.com/
https://www.brucefeiler.com/books-articles/life-is-in-the-transitions/
If you like the show, leave a review or send us and email (toastedthepodcast@gmail.com) to let us know!
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In episode 6, Nick and Margie continue their conversation with Tracy Marchionda. They settle the debate over Jameson and Tullamore Dew, discuss the impact failure narratives have on our futures, tease Nick about Zodiac signs, talk bourbon, and make plans to drink Old Fashions together. Cheers!
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In this episdode, Margie and Nick talk with Tracy Marchionda, a retired Curriculum Specialist who has spent 33 years leading NY schools to improve performance and outcomes for their students. Among other things they discuss coffee, the power of narratives in shaping our lives, retirement, and Band Aids. We certainly hope you enjoy it. Cheers!!
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toastedthepodcast@gmail.com
The Danger of A Single Story
In this episode, Margie and Nick explore the idea of pivots...moments where you start to say "Yes". This deceptively simple answer can be hard when you're in the routine and experiences you know; but, when you open to the idea of alternative experiences and agree to try them out, there is much to be learned and gained. Please leave a review or send an email to tell Nick and Margie your thoughts. Cheers!
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https://www.weisvineyards.com/
In this episode, Nick and Margie discuss the idea of "failure stacking," explore the unfair accumulation of trauma, and examine its impact on daily/professional life. Oh...and they toast with Negronis! Cheers!
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In this episode, Nick and Margie explore the connection between understanding the subjectivity of failure and regaining control of your life. They talk about Irish Coffee, The Artist's Way, and how we put pressures on ourselves to be perfect when we don't need to.
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This is the very first episode of Toasted. In it, Nick and Margie introduce themselves, introduce the concept of the podcast, and explore the need for tolerating failure as a first step in "acquiring a taste" for it.
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Music by Yrii Semchyshyn from Pixabay