Friend & Foe: How the political divide is affecting personal relationships: Recent Episodes
Jennifer Hardacker
Friend & Foe exists to give voice to the real conflict and distress people are feeling about the ways that the current political divide in the US is affecting personal relationships. For many, political alliances are a question of personal ethics and values, and what do you do when those that you have loved do not share your views? And what do you do when shared history or other ties are strong enough to want to try to maintain some connection despite these differences?
I believe listening is not the same as being complicit with ideas we don’t agree with.
If we sever all ties with those whose political beliefs we disagree with, how will be able to recognize the humanity in anyone who opposes our own beliefs? As one of the people I interviewed stated, “If we can’t even talk to our family about this, how are we ever going to talk to strangers about it?” This podcast is not about trying to make expert pronouncements on the subject, but rather an opportunity to give voice to the anxiety, sadness, and fear many are experiencing about this subject.
Jessica identifies as biracial and talks about the ways political differences has complicated her relationships in her family. This includes her white, liberal leaning mother, her conservative uncles, and her black father, a staunch Republican. In our conversation, Jessica speaks of the importance of having compassion for others. She points out that we’re all on a journey, and that we should be optimistic that others can learn and change. She also asserts that we have to keep the lines of communication open with those that don’t have the same beliefs as us, because if we don’t address the issue, the problem will only get worse as we further dehumanize one another.
When Alexander first got to college, he found himself routinely being chastised by his college peers for the conservative beliefs he had learned from his family. Alexander, who’s parents immigrated to the US from Mexico, grew up in Southern Oregon. Alexander describes the population of his Southern Oregon hometown as being predominantly white with a few Mexicans, and those few Mexicans were his own family. Alex had adopted the conservative beliefs of his white high school friends as a way to better fit in as one of the only brown kids in the school, but when he got to college, he began to form his own opinions and those new opinions put him in opposition to his family's conservative leanings.
This is my conversation with Cassandra from the summer of 2020. Cassandra lives just outside of Portland, identifies as gay, and supported Trump for both the 206 and 2020 elections. Cassandra replied to my social media post asking folks who would be willing to talk to me about how political differences have affected personal relationships. She was sad and angry that so many of her left leaning friends decided to cut off communication with her rather than have a conversation about their political differences. Cassandra observes that our desire to belong to a group can cause us to say things that further increase the political divide.