Introvertently: Recent Episodes
Ms.
This episode is about me becoming a mother, which, uh, wasn’t easy, and then being a mother of a boy with autism, which is also not easy mainly because I’m still learning and growing. My son is, at times, a mystery, no matter how many articles, books, webinars, etc. I consume or attend. To me, the most challenging, rewarding, exhausting, humbling and joyous thing to do is to parent a child, however that may be. That’s for all you neurotypicals. For parents with a child like my son, it’s all of that times 10. And this episode, like all the others, only scratches the surface. But this episode is for him.
In this episode, I talk about my mom and my relationship with her growing up and now, and what I should say to her before it’s too late. For better or worse, I am like my mom, who is very much alive, by the way. A lot of the stories from her past came from relatives, and occasionally from her. I know I’m only scratching the surface. She has had a full life (living much more mellow one now) which you wouldn’t know just by looking at her. She is no shrinking violet and does more for others than she does for herself. Her voice has carried commands across an entire warehouse, across auditoriums, banquet halls, across kitchens. When I think of Boss Lady, that’s my mom. Someday, I’ll give her a hug or maybe she’ll give me a hug and it won’t be awkward. We don’t say “I love you” in our family. This is how we showed it.
In this episode, I talk about being a student in middle school, high school and then college, and how those experiences shaped me into the public middle school teacher I am today. I don’t talk much about the pandemic school year nor do I talk about being a teacher of color but I do touch on moments in my life and career that matter to me and the lessons I learned. There’s so much more I could have shared that I’ll save for other topics but this captures my journey and eventual acceptance that this is something I was always supposed to do (I was in denial).
I’ve had students tell me or someone else that I’m “mean,” “strict,” “caring,” “nice,” “funny,” with some saying that they love me, they miss me, that they hated me. I’ve silenced a room with a look. I’ve been ignored even when I shouted. I’ve stepped back and let my students take complete control, staying silent and proud. The thing about teaching is that it is a whole storm of things. And if you want to make it as a teacher, you have to love being in that storm. This episode captures some of that and is just another window into my life.
In honor of Father’s Day, I describe my relationship with my dad before and after his passing, and how he shaped who I am today. And what I would say to him if he were alive. There is still more I could have included but I think 1 hour is enough for now. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to talk about this. I had trouble finding the right words many times and admitting certain truths. And I guess that is why I had to do it.
I am an introvert who extroverts too much for their own good. This is my way of recharging, reconnecting or connecting finally with myself. I am many things and have many roles. I like and dislike a lot of things. Music, movies, TV, books, memories, observations and reflections.
I am a school teacher, mother, wife. I am a person of color. I am female. I am human.
This is something I get to do for myself. It’s like journaling...without the carpel tunnel! Use this in lieu of those calming, sleep apps. It would be an honor. Get to know me as I get to know more of myself. Listen, or not, it's up to you. I hope to invite people onto the podcast but, for now, I invite you to eavesdrop on this party of 1.