Accessing Your Best Self with Devorah Vale: Recent Episodes
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This course will explore what bitachon is and how to acquire it. During this time of the pandemic, now, more than ever we need to access the Torah's wisdom on how to achieve tranquility through developing the midda of bitachon - trust in the Almighty. Please join me as we journey through the relevant Torah sources and modern psychology to access our best selves.
In this class we explore the midda of endurance. Tenacity, Resilience and perseverence are traits that we embody as a nation and we need to develop personally to actualize our potential. We learn from the greats! Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai who figure prominently during this time in the Jewish calendar and teach us these great lessons .
Purim is the only holiday our Rabbis teach, that we will continue to celebrate after Mashiach comes. It will still be relevant when all other holidays no longer are needed. Purim lights our way through the darkness of exile and its spiritual lessons will continue to reverberate forever in the future.
Having hakpada is a very negative trait and makes us transgress many positive mitzvot in the Torah . We must get rid of it the way we rid ourselves of chametz before Pesach. By striving for greater humility we become more like the matza which is the bread of freedom metaphorically and in reality.
Seeing Hashem in the miraculous is not hard! It's seeing Hashem in the everyday that is a challenge! Recognizing the good that He does for us and that others do for us is a character trait called Hakarat HaTov! It is more than just saying a perfunctory thank you! It requires us to get rid of expectations that others should do for us and also realize that by acknowledging the good, we are now left owing and that is often why we would rather ignore it.
In this class we discover the origin of the light at the beginning of Creation. This same hidden light is the same one that we illuminate in the month of Kislev, the darkest month of the year. Removing the darkness of false ideologies which the Greeks gave us is the work of Hannukah that continues to this day.
This is a world of tests. Hashem tests each one of us in a specific way in order that we actualize our potential. Passing a test is a miracle, its a flag that we raise when we have overcome. By working on bitachon, and asking Hashem to help us when we are dealing with difficult people or situations, we are more assured of success.
God tells Avraham to leave everything behind and go 'to a land that I will show you'. This is the first of Avraham's 10 tests . What we learn from Avraham is to have bitachon in Hashem - to trust Him in the deepest way possible. That happens when we don't give up hoping to Him even when things don't turn out the way we expect they should.
In this class we examine different verses in the book of Genesis to learn more about G'd and His reason for creating the world and specifically Man. Was it a good idea to create a fallible creature with the free will to behave badly? What do the angels have to say about this? Listen and find out more about why we are here!
When the Jewish people said Na'aseh v'Nishma they became like angels who know the secret of total compliance to Hashem's will. How can we use this principle of doing without understanding, accepting without knowing all the details in our daily relationships with spouses and children?
Humility is the antidote to all negative traits. During this time of Omer we have been refining ourselves in order to be ready to receive the Torah on Chag HaShavuot. The Or HaChaim teaches 3 lessons we can learn from the verse in Shemot that describes the B'nai Yisrael's journey towards Har Sinai . They are the prerequisites for sucessfully receiving the Torah. Listen and find out.
This is the week of HOD. Hod is the midda of Humility. In order to reach true greatness, we have to admit our shortcomings and work on being grateful to others and to Hashem. Being humble should not be confused with low self esteem. You cannot be humble without good self esteem. Rabbi Akiva who began with 5 students teaches us resilience which is fueled by humility.
Iyar is the month of illumination. It is a bridge between Nissan and Sivan and is represented by the letter vav - the letter of connection. 'If you are connected above, you don't fall down below' is a Yiddish expression.
In this month, there is more light and more air available to us to broaden ourselves and prepare for the giving of the Torah on Shavuot? How do we access it? What do we need to understand about ourselves and the world around us to gain greater connectivity to Hashem and His Torah.
Counting the Omer is something that only YOU can do!!! It is a mitzva that no one can do for you.! That's because Hashem wants you to know how important you are to the Jewish people and to HIM. These days of counting are opportune days to return to your authentic self. Who am I and what do I have to contribute to the Jewish people, to our mission as a people. How can I radiate my light and shine the light the Torah to the world which so desperately needs light and healing??? I matter! I make a difference!!!
Why can't we just eat matza without getting rid of every speck of chametz? Aren't they the same thing? Flour and water? OK we ate matza when we left Egypt - I get that! But what does chametz have to do with MY EXITING EGYPT THEN OR NOW?
To all my devoted listeners: I want to take this opportunity to wish you all a Chag Kasher v'Sameach and invite you to be in touch with me at devorahvale@yahoo.ca. I welcome any questions and comments, and a complimentary coaching session . What are your unique challenges? How can I help you to access your own wisdom to free yourself from your own personal Mitzrayim? l am here to help you to access your best self through the Torah's wisdom for living. Enjoy the holiday and stay well!!
Cleanliness is next to Godliness as the saying goes. Is spring cleaning part of the mitzva of getting rid of every speck of chametz or is it going above and beyond. How do you know how much cleaning is enough. Like every pleasure, there is a point of diminishing returns. Make sure you don't reach this place and destroy not only the chametz before Pesach but yourself and everyone in your path.
'When wine enters, the secret comes out' says the Gemarra in Sanhedrin. What is the secret? Through wine we can change our consciousness and elevate ourselves and the world around us. Or we can use wine negatively to escape our purpose and mission in this world. Learn how the Purim story taught us how to use wine properly towards kedusha and how Pesach through the 4 cups helps us continue this process . Wine can help us return to our true and higher selves.
Why is this day called the Fast of Esther? Esther's fast took place in Nissan. What is the purpose of fasting in general and what can we accomplish when we begin everything with a spiritual plan and then take action?
Who is Amalek? Why do we have a mitzva to remember what he did and never forget? How do we eradicate Amalek or evil in this world? It begins with uprooting Amalek from ourselves. Emuna is the antidote to Amalek and Doubt. Being God - centric and creating a world ruled by the ethics, morals and values of our Torah spells the end of Amalek.
In this final class on the Shema we discuss the power of the eyes and heart that leads us astray! How do we become holy like Hashem? What does Holiness mean? As we conclude the Shema we reaffirm our commitment to our mission as a Jew in this world.
The Gemarra asks, 'where do we find Haman in the Torah?' He is found in the verse in Genesis when G-d asks Adam and Chava if they ate from the tree that was forbidden. What is the connection between the two?
Why do we need to wear tzitzit? What do the white threads represent? What does the blue thread represent? How is the wearer of tzizit protected and supported in his observance of all the mitzvot? The Talmud lists 5 commandments mentioned in the 3rd paragraph. What are they?
King Solomon says in Mishlei, 'He who loves money will never be satiated by money'. Whether its fashion, the news, or addiction to food, Taiva creates a pursuit - we chase after whatever it is we think will bring us satisfaction and tranquility...but instead it leads to more desire. The soul can never be filled by the material pleasures of the world. They are meant to bring us tranquility. If they are not, the we need to ask why and create more balance in our lives.
In this episode we focus on the second paragraph of the Shema which deals with reward and punishment. What we do matters! Hashem responds. Our material well being and whether the Land of Israel remains in our hands is dependent on the mitzvot that we do. . We are in the driver's seat. Deciding to learn Torah and do mitzvot is the one thing that is completely in our control in a world that seems, now more than ever, out of control!!!
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In this class we go deeper in exploring the role of pleasure in avodat Hashem. We need a certain amount of it to help us to do mitzvot and overcome challenges which is the purpose of life. acciording to the Ramchal. When we become addicted or a slave to certain pleasures, when pleasure becomes a form of escapism or distraction from our purpose, that is when we need to ask ourselves, 'Is this really taking me closer or further from my spiritual goals?
Why do we wear tefillin and put a mezuza on our door? How does this increase our love and connection to our Creator? Being G-d obsessed means that the Torah animates your very thoughts and all your activities. .When you are lying down and getting up, whether you are at shul, inside your home or out and about, involved in the business of the day. The Torah lifestyle encompasses every aspect of life. ''Where is God?' asked a great Rabbi. His answer: Wherever you let Him in!!!
Each of us is unique and we have our own distinct battles and challenges. For one person it is staying away from the urge to fall victim to emotional eating, while for another it is refraining from that nasty comment which your intellect knows has no place in a relationship you are trying to build. Taiva is characterized by 2 thoughts. Before the act, you think, 'I really shouldn't do this! And after the fact you ask, why did I do that? Torah wisdom teaches us how to develop more self control.
The theme of Paragraph 1 of Shema is to love Hashem with your heart, soul, and all your possessions! Throughout history, Jews have given up their lives to sanctify G'ds name. As hard as that is, to die for Hashem, to live for Hashem is often even more difficult. Dying is a one time act, living is constant devotion and direction towards all one's thoughts, feelings, and actions being devoted to Him Alone. Not so easy!
Where does Haman's name appear in the Torah? When does the yetzer hara come into a human being? At birth or conception? In this class we explore the challenges that impulsivity create? The past and the future disappear when one is caught in the moment of taiva - desire. How do we escape or channel these impulses and develop more control?
How can we be commanded to love Hashem? In this class we explore loving Hashem with both our hearts - the yetzer tov and the yetzer hara. The yetzer tov is called good but the yetzer hara is called 'very good'. Love grows when we give, when we are grateful and when we learn G-d's Torah. The soul longs for closeness and to be in a loving relationship with its Creator.
How do the 4 elements of earth, water, wind and fire interact with Taiva, the need to control our desires? In this new series we will examine how impulse control is a key feature of Jewish life and becoming a successful and elevated human being.
In this series of classes we will go through the Shema Prayer and try to understand its meaning more clearly and in depth. The Shema is the Jewish Pledge of Allegiance to God. It is our mission statement and rallying cry. We wake up every morning and go to sleep at night with this prayer on our lips. It is the prayer we say before we die. Join me as we learn more about the centrality of this prayer and Jewish belief.
Practicing bitachon and achieving tranquility of the soul is a constant skill that needs to be reinforced. When the sea split, says Rabbeinu Bachye, it split step by step and not all at once. It was an ongoing challenge much like the pandemic we find ourselves in. It is only knowing that Hashem is walking with us through the waters with each step that we can reach the other side with our connection to G-d deepened along the way
In this episode we explore the idea of yissurim me'ahava. How can a loving G'd cause me so much pain and suffering? In order to understand this, we need to identify primarily as souls who are in this world against their will and will leave this world against their will. A look into the Ramchal and Mesillas Yesharim will help us crystallize this idea.
The month of Teves is one of three sad months in the Jewish year. With a fast day on the 10th that commemorate all the atrocities of that month, it is a dark time both physically and spiritually. And yet, Teves has the holiday of Channukah in it. The light of Channukah spills over into this month teaching us to find the light in the darkness, hope in the midst of challenge and pain.
In this episode we discuss the qualities of good leadership as seen through Yehuda, Dovid HaMelech and the eventual Mashiach! We are called Yehudim because gratitude and admitting our mistakes are 2 hallmarks of the greatness of the Jewish people. L'hodot means to thank and to admit. These are crucial traits for leadership.
In this class we discuss the tremendous potential of the fire element to reach higher in our personal growth and leadership abilities. From the story of Channukah,and great figures like Yosef and Yehuda we learn about the power of great leaders who fuse fearlessness and humility and awe of God to channel their fire in a constructive way.
The element of wind is intellect, thought, and speech and how we use it. In its lower form, it is used for gossip, idle talk, and mindless banter. In its elevated form, it is the pursuit of truth, spiritual understanding and the intellectual honesty to stay faithful to your values and beliefs based on the Torah. Yaakov Avinu, known for representing Torah truths stands as a counterforce to those great intellects who built the Tower of Bavel, intent on getting rid of Godliness, morality and conscience, much like the Greeks of yesteryear and the modern day tyrants of today in all its forms. Moral relativism and other 'isms' are the battle we continue to wage since the time of Avraham Avinu,
In this episode we discuss that water represents emotion. Water also represents the human need for pleasure. The question is how to use the pleasures of the world in a positive way towards deeper connection with G-d and relationships with the people in our lives. Water can nourish or destroy. The generation of Noach teaches us what can happen when pleasures lead to destruction. Yitzchak and Rifka come to teach us how to harness the power of water and be master over our pleasures.
What does the name Kislev mean? How does the tribe that corresponds with this month reveal more about what the energy of this month is all about. Join me as we learn about the 36 candles that we light on Chanukah and how this relates to the month of Kislev.
How do the 4 elements of earth, water, wind and fire relate to the stories in the first book of the Torah? And what do these stories teach us about our own inner struggles? Discover how Cain kills hi brother because of his 'scarcity mindset, the negative manifestation of earthiness. Learn how Avraham and Sarah demonstrate an abundance or emunah mindset as an antidote.
Rav Chaim Vital who wrote Shaarei Kedusha and lived in the mid 1500's teaches that each of us is composed of the four elements of earth, water, wind and fire. Based on Rabbi Shlomo Buxbaum's book, The Four Elements of an Empowered Life, this series will explore how these elements affect who we are, determine our life's mission and give us the ability to gain greater mastery over ourselves.
Join me as we explore the unique energy of the month of Cheshvan. What should our focus be in this month? What can we learn from its name, its astrological sign and the events that happened during this time period in our Torah? How do we make sure to use this month positively and actualize the resolutions we made in Tishrei when we were on a spiritual high!
Who am I? Where am I going? Why Am I alive? What is my purpose? These are the questions we should ponder before Rosh Hashanah. On this day God judges our thoughts, and the direction we want to go in even when our actions don't line up. God appreciates our intentions and our yearning and our efforts at trying to improve ourselves and return to Him.
Elul is the month of love and connection but also the month in which we prepare for our upcoming court case. on Rosh Hashana. Hashem scrutinizes each one of us individually and as a part of His great nation and asks, :Are you on board and with Me...or are you Indifferent or even Against Me? Human beings crave limits and boundaries much as we may rail against them. Hashem loves Justice and the fact that He judges us highlights the fact that we matter and what we do is important to Him. The fact that there are consequences to our actions or DIN in the world is just another way Hashem reveals His love for us.
How do we approach the month of Elul? It is a time of tremendous closeness to our Creator when He makes Himself available to us. And yet it is a month of preparation for the Yom Hadin, the upcoming day of Judgement. How do we reconcile the love we can access with the trepidation or fear we feel as we approach the Yamim Noraim - these awesome days? Listen and discover the balance.
In our final class on the topic of tznius we explore how covering our ego and developing our internality can be expressed in the ways that we behave. Sometimes, when we let others go ahead of us and benefit, while 'losing out' ourselves, we gain spiritually in untold ways. In a society that extolls, 'letting it all hang out', remaining modest, private and not sharing everything about ourselves is crucial for setting proper boundaries which Judaism teaches leads us to developing our true essence, our internal selves instead of seeking external recognition at its expense.
In this final class on Ahavas Chinam we explore how we can work to change our negative feelings towards others by zeroing in on their virtues and looking away from their negative qualities. None of us is flawless and when we decide to look away from others weaknesses and instead focus in on a good quality we can reprogram the way we feel.
How does tznius affect your spiritual flexibilty, the way you do chesed and how you accept criticism? When you practice covering your ego you develop internality and you change the way you adapt to situations that are not in your control. Acceptance and developing trust in Hashem is all about tznius. Your level of tznius will also affect the way you react to criticism and how you do kindness for others. Listen and find out why.
What is your love language? Do you know the love language of that person in your Circle 1 who is hard to love? Sometimes our love is not being received because we are speaking Chinese to a person whose language is Yiddish. Go ahead and ask. What is your language of love? How can I make you feel loved?
Tznius is about covering our ego and developing our internality. Do we compromise this when we do mitzot in a showy way? The great people hid their great levels of learnng and piety in order not to attract attention. Of course, there are times and places where we shoud 'show what we know' and do external acts in order to inspire those around us to grow. What is your kavana? Is Hashem your number 1 audience or are you out to impress yourself and others!
Why is it that sometimes our giving is not received? It seems that often our giving can be connected to other feelings. We give with resentment, guilt, pity or with strings attached. I give to you but only because I expect you to return the giving. All of these feelings get in the way of pure giving or ahavas chinam which can account for why my giving is not having the impact it should have.
Tznius/ modesty does not only apply to women but to men too. It is a shared obligation. Both men and women are expected to guard their eyes from exposure to violent or sexual images,and protect the purity of their minds and soul. Since men are more easily aroused and more likely to objectify women, men need extra guards to maintain that purity. Shmirat Einayim is one of the ways men do this. Women help men by dressing modestly in an external way, and they also protect their own internality by being 'attractive but not attracting!' Developing one's internality and covering the ego is the goal of tzniut for both men and women.
Truly loving others comes from a very deep place in the nefesh/soul. It is not only about fulfilling the mitza between you and others but also is a mitzva between you and Hashem. Loving others whether they deserve it or not, or whether they return that love or appreciate it is not the point. You are loving Hashem's creations and He appreciates you giving to them especially when its hard! No good thought, word or deed goes unnoticed! In heaven it is all being recorded. Your efforts matter! You become a more loving person and that's the point!
In this class we ask ourselves to check our intentions? Why are we talking instead of listening? How are we giving into our desires and leading with the ego when it comes to why we do what we do. As we grow in our internality, we recognize that often we do things for the wrong reasons. Tznius is about weeding out our ulterior motives. What we want to strive for is doing things for the sake of heaven...for the right and loftier reasons. It's not about ME! Or what YOU THINK OF ME as much as it should be about What does Hashem Think of ME!!
Human beings are social animals! We crave relationship. Relationships are the source of our greatest pleasure and our greatest pain. What we have learned from the recent pandemic is that loneliness leads to all kinds of mental illness. As the song goes, 'People who need people are the luckiest people in the world!' We need others! How can we love others more, especially those who we don't naturally like!! Join me as we work to increase our ahava/ love for the unloveable just because.... This is true tikun olam...it begins with me!!!
In this class we discuss the words of Rabbeinu Yona who explains the passage in Mishlei that Wisdom resides with those who are Tzniut/Private/ Modest and Internally developed. Tzniut encompasses much more than just dress but how we communicate! Self regulation and learning to be a good listener is also the way we develop our internality and become wise!
'Tznius is the inner directed aspect of striving' according to Rabbi Meiselman in his book Jewish Women in Jewish Law. It is required of both men and women to walk 'modestly with God.' How does the Jewish concept of heroism differ the Greek or Western idea. The greatest moral and heroic acts in Judaism almost always take place in private as taught through the stories of great personalities in our Torah.
In this new series we will reveal that tzniut or being modest encompasses so much more than matters of dress. Of course the way we dress should be an external manifestation of what tznius is at its core. Tznius means covering the ego, being less external and image conscious and asking 'What does Hashem think of me?' instead of being obsessed with oneself and what others think and trapped by one's own biases.
To be ruth less is to be cruel. Ruth, the progenitor of King David and ultimately Mashiach is someone who was the personification of chesed - lovingkindness, She teaches us that to be able to receive the Torah we must emulate her and God Himself by making ourselves into people who are always asking, What Can I do for you?i Listen and be amazed by modern day regular people who have perfected this midda called chesed.
In this final episode on Zrizoot we heed Shlomo HaMelech's advice to go and learn from the Ants. They can teach us what we need to know about working hard, identifying completely with the task at hand and how stealing or taking short cuts can undermine developing this important character trait.
In this episode we reveal how our low energy for certain tasks can be the result of fears, perfectionism or creating avoidance cycles of certain situations. Learn how to overcome shiflut and have more zrizoos by letting go of these obstacles!
As we conclude the Shemona Esrei prayer, the Rabbis added on personal prayers asking Hashem to help us guard our speech. As we re enter the world of human relationships and leave our prayer, we need to realize how important our daily interactions with others through speech can affect the power of our prayers and our requests being realized. The more purity, the more power.
In this episode we continue to recognize the gratitude each of us owes to Hashem for all of the kindnesses He does for us. As we continue towards the end of the Amidah prayer we learn that Shalom or Peace is the vessel that holds all blessings.
What zaps our energy to do mitzvot in a focused and enthusiastic way. The Mesillas Yesharim tells us too much sleep, fear of hard work and a love of luxury and pleasures. Water which is ta'anug or pleasure douses fire, which is the desire to grow higher. Water is important in the right amount. But too much will kill the plant.
In this class we begin the last section of the Shemona Esrei prayer called Thanksgiving. We give thanks to the One who answers Prayer and begin to take leave of Him expecting that our wishes will be granted if it is good for us! Being grateful to Hashem and others is the cornerstone of Judaism. We are called Yehudim because this name is connected to thanking/admitting what Hashem and others do for us!
In this series we continue to focus on the very important midda/character trait of zrizoot or alacrity. The difference between matza and chametz is simply time. Mitzvot, we are taught must be done quickly so they do not become chametz. What does this mean? Join me as we explore the wider and deeper definition of this very important spiritual tool and its practical application for developing your relationship with Hashem and others.
In this episode we continue to examine the deeper aspects of chametz and matza specifically as it relates to developing the character trait called zrizoot or alacrity. The same mitzva that is done with delay is no longer the same. It has a different message attached. "I don't really care that much." Something that is urgent we tend to do right away but often we push off what's important when it needs to be a priority. Join me as we explore this fascinating topic.
Why do we need to get rid of every speck of chametz before Pesach? Can't we just eat matza for 7 days. The Rabbis teach us that chametz represents the yetzer hara, primarily the negative middot of arrogance, anger, egocentricity and illusion. Matza is the bread of humility, simplicity, clarity and freedom. We first need to turn away from evil before we can do good. Ridding ourselves of the chametz within us helps us to access our unlimited potential and break free of the constraints that we impose upon ourselves by illusory thoughts. Matza also represents speed, a necessary quality in avodat Hashem.
In this 15th prayer of the Shemona Esrei we fulfill the obligation of yearning for Mashiach. One of the questions we will be asked after 120 years on this planet will be Tzipisa l'Yeshua...did you await the Mashiach? To be a Jew, according to the Rambam is to believe that God has a plan for His world and that the purpose of Creation is to live on a higher spiritual plane than we presently do. In the times of Mashiach, material goods will be plentiful and we can turn our attention solely to actualizing our full potential in a world that lives under One God for all peoples.
In our final class on anger, we examine how fire needs to be controlled with water and earth. Water is pleasure and vitality while earth is consistency and stability.
Yerushalayim is the heart of the world and the rebuilding of the Temple is crucial to the heart beating in its full power for the benefit of all mankind. In this bracha, we ask Hashem, in His compassion, to build an eternal structure, one that will never again be destroyed and end the suffering and pain that is part of this long exile.
Patience can be an antidote to anger but just how does this work? The Alter of Kelm teaches that by imagining the painful situation beforehand and knowing what and who triggers us, we can expect and welcome the pain and thereby circumvent our angry response before it even happens. By breathing into it and not tightening or resisting the inevitable, we can remain unmoved by that which normally 'drives us crazy'! The power of visualization can not be underestimated!
Is it a coincidence that the pandemic's beginnings and Purim coincide? Perhaps there are some parallels between the two and lessons from the Megilla that apply to the times we are living in. Revealing that which is Hidden, unmasking God and Ourselves is the key to Redemption and why the holiday of Purim will continue even after Mashiach arrives.
13 is a lucky number!! In this bracha, we ask Hashem to bless the righteous people among our nation and those of other nations as well. We ask that in His Mercy, He arouse His compassion and see each one of us as striving to be like them. The Torah scholars, those who take leadership roles in the community and those who join the Jewish people as sincere converts are listed as those, who love and fear God with all their being, By praising and honoring these elevated people and by clinging to them it is as if we cling to God Himself.
The Alter of Kelm teaches that the antidote to anger is patience. The impatient person is not honest, he explains, because he overpays for the frustrating experience by reliving it over and over again. We cannot control how much pain we will have in life but we can control how much we suffer. Join us as we learn how to increase our ability to create boundaries and limit our ratzon.
Golda Meir famously said, "I can forgive our enemies for killing us but I will never be able to forgive them for making us into killers!" In this prayer, we ask God to eradicate sins and not the sinners. We would prefer that evildoers do tshuva and live. This Jewish view reveals how compassionate we must be even to those who would harm us, never giving up hope that they see the folly of their ways. and choose goodness and peace.
Each person is composed of the 4 elements according to Rav Chaim Vital, a kabbalist from the 16th century who lived in Tzfat. Each of us is dominant in either fire, earth, wind or water and in order to be balanced, one has to draw on other elements and incorporate them successfully. Fire needs to be contained to be constructive and needs water and earth to help those with a dominant fiery nature to find the right balance.
In this bracha we discuss the Torah's repeated admonition that "bribery blinds the eyes of the wise". Whether judging others or ourselves, we have to be very careful that our own biases and rational lies don't sway us and blind us to the issue at hand. God is the True Judge because He has no bias but judges with true compassion and righteousness. He protects honest and righteous judges who wish to do the same.
We all know that you cannot control other people. You can only control yourself!! Projecting your own issues on another person can often be a cause for your anger. When you point a finger at another person, there are three pointing back at you.
Should we pack our bags? Is it time for the Geulah, the return of the Jewish people from the 4 corners of the earth to their ancestral homeland? This bracha teaches that a prerequisite to the actualization of this great miracle is unity! The Jewish people need to be G'd's people, choosing freely and willingly to follow the teachings of His Torah. And only then will the entire world benefit from the Jewish people living in the land of Israel and spreading the wisdom of Torah to all its 4 corners.
Learning what to do when we experience strong emotions like anxiety, sadness and anger is a gift we give ourselves and others around us. Self regulation allows us to control our emotions. What is anger hiding? Susan Heitler, an expert on conflict resolution teaches us how to understand anger more deeply.
When we ask God to provide us with all our material needs, we have to make sure we are asking for the right reasons. Is our pursuit of money an end in itself or is it a means towards self actualization as outlined by the teachings of the Torah? When we use all of the gifts that Hashem bestows upon us and recognize the source then money becomes a blessing. However, just as easily money and its pursuit can become a curse. Judaism and the teachings of the Torah help us see clearly how to use financial prosperity for soul's spiritual journey in this world and to accomplish its unique mission. Otherwise money and the pursuit of it can take us off course and become our downfall.
When we lose control and become angry it is very difficult to calm down. Anger is not to be used as a tool to make others do what you want or let them know what you don't want! Anger is a signal to you that something is wrong. Emotion always discovers a problem. Our work is to take anger and every other negative emotion to the place of sechel, and then respond in a controlled way. Not so easy to do when physiologically you are in 'fight or flight mode as explained by Dr. Goleman in his book on Emotional Intelligence. Join me as we learn some tips to tame the angry beast within.
In this class we discuss the meaning of the 8th bracha in the Shemona Esrei prayer that deals with healing of the body and the spiritual health of the soul. The two are intertwined and many illnesses can be linked back to a dis ease emotionally and spiritually which results in bodily illness. Healing comes from above and though we are called upon to use doctors and medicines we must remember that these are only the messengers through which Hashem can perform the miracle of healing.
Who am I jealous of? Is my jealousy made more intense when my sense of self worth is in question? The Torah teaches us that Rachel wondered why Leah was blessed with many children quickly and easily while she seemed unable to have her first. She began to feel badly about herself. It must be Leah is a tzadekes and I am not worthy. Maybe Hashem is punishing me. When we go to these darker thoughts, it is counterproductive and doesn't help us move forward.
Competition and comparison naturally fuels our jealousy. When we see that person with a bigger house, a nicer car, a better marriage, more well behaved and accomplished children, we cannot help but feel envious at times. The more we recognize that no one can take from me what is coming to me...what Hashem wants me to have, the more we can work to lessen these feelings of jealousy. We are all interdependent. Your success is mine and mine is yours. So don't be jealous, right?! Easier said than done!
Hatred and Jealousy. How are they related? Rabbi Akiva's 24,000 students died in a plague and the reason the Gemarra gives is that 'they did not show proper honour and respect to one another." A less well known source teaches that these students had 'tzaras ayin' towards one another. They saw each other as a 'threat'. How can I feel special if you are also equally successful as I am in the same area or skill. "I thought I was pretty good looking, until I met you!:
What is an ayin rah? We are told to have a good eye, which means practicing to see the good and positive in everyone and everything. The ayin rah is someone who is constantly jealous of others. Jealousy manifests in 2 ways. I can be jealous of what you have and want it for myself. This is what we call Kin'ah. However, even worse than that is what we call tzarat ayin...or narrow eyes. This means, I don't necessarily want/ need what you have. I just don't want YOU TO HAVE IT!!!!
We have all felt jealous before of someone's looks, talents, possessions and success. Maybe we have also been the source of other people's jealousy. Jealousy is a very human trait and not easy to eradicate. However, the Torah gives us tools to help us work to lessen our feelings of jealousy. Join me as we explore this topic using Torah sources and modern psychology.
In this class, we look at anger as explained in Mishna 5/14 in Pirkei Avot. The Mishna describes the different types of angry temperaments that people possess. Anger can be measured in terms of 3 things. Frequency, Intensity and Duration. Are you somebody who is hard to anger and easy to appease? Well, lucky you! Some of us are easy to anger and easy to appease. Others are hard to anger but also hard to appease. Which category do you fall into? Join us as we explore this explosive topic together!
In the 7th bracha of Shemona Esrei we ask Hashem to bring us freedom...nationally and personally. Freedom in Jewish terms means being free to serve Hashem according to the dictates of the Torah. Any other kind of freedom is temporary, illusory and one will end up serving the 'state' (politics) or the Self.
Anger - we have all experienced it! No one likes to be out of control. but we often lose it because there is a lot of overload in our lives, especially as women. When we become angry, and give into those negative impulses we often get even more upset at ourselves for having lost our cool. It is important not to beat yourself up but rather pick yourself up and try, try again! You can always rebuild ! Everyone loses it sometimes. The key to overcoming anger is to know that as powerful as anger is, there is something even more powerful. That is the place of compassion and love which resides deep within us and needs to be accessed. Join me as we understand Anger and how it teaches us a lot about ourselves and the inner work we need to do.
The more talented and intelligent the person is the less likely they may be to learn from others. This is a feature of arrogance. They just recycle what they know. A less intelligent person may be more open to learning from others. Carol Doeck explains that arrogant people have a fixed mindset.
Your positive and negative traits make you uniquely singular. There is no one else on the planet since the world began nor will there ever be someone who possesses your constellation of traits. Knowing what your nekuda of shefa is will help you understand yourself and your road to greatness and good self esteem.
One of the keys to healthy self esteem is not to blow out of proportion our positive traits or those negative ones that we all possess. When we do this it is very detrimental to achieving the balance or equanimity we are seeking. If every time someone compliments me or criticizes me, I am 'bent out of shape' this is a sign that I have not let achieved the equilibrium that comes with good self esteem.
How do we get to a place of equanimity and what does this have to do with healthy self esteem? In this class we will explore
how we can determine what our mission is in this world? Our life challenges will always revolve around our strengths and our weaknesses. Knowing what these are is the key to gaining awareness of what your unique tafkid is during your time on this planet.
What is good self esteem? How do you know if you have it? Exploring this subject through the Torah's eyes and with the use of modern psychology we will sharpen our understanding of the elusive but important goal of having good self esteem.
Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself and others. "Atonement and forgiveness are the supreme expressions of human freedom - the freedom to act differently in the future than one did in the past," (Rabbi Jonathon Sacks z'tzl) To be able to change and begin again. Hashem allows us to this by not only forgiving but forgetting and even erasing our past sins. Hashem believes in our ability to remake ourselves and return to Him in humility and love. It is an illusion when we think Hashem no longer wants us because of our sins. Hashem does not leave us when we sin, it is we who lose contact with Hashem who resides within the essence of our own soul.
MEND IT. This acronym outlines all the tools that can be tried to help us mend relationships which have suffered a blow. Whether those closest to you, friends or complete strangers, the Torah tells us not to bear a grudge or hate someone in your heart. This Class focuses in on how to use tefilla to help you rise above being right and striving to be righteous.
What can we do when someone hurts or insults us? The Torah gives us tools to help us remove internalized anger and resentment from our heart. Join me as we discover how Emuna can show us the high road to self discovery.
How can Emuna help us deal with painful and difficult interactions inflicted upon us by those around us, even those we love. Instead of asking "why did he do this to me we can capitalize the word HE and ask Why did HE do this to me?? By looking at the situation through a spiritual lens we can grow through the challenge. This is just a test!!
One of the 48 ways to wisdom brought down in Pirkei Avos is to love rebuke. When we receive criticism properly we can model for those around us how we welcome instruction that will help us grow and change.
How can we use humor to help us deal with people who repeatedly hurt and insult us? Humor takes a serious subject that could be very intense and keeps it light. Humor makes us laugh at a situation that could potentially make us cry. When we understand that humor means "having a sharp eye for the weaknesses of others with no devaluation of them" then we can combine insight with love to deflect the potential pain others may cause us.
One of the tools for dealing with internalized anger is Tochacha or Giving Rebuke. This is a mitzva from the Torah which teaches us that we should have a conversation with the person who has wronged us. However, this is very difficult to do properly and can often make things worse. How can we learn to give constructive criticism without doing more damage. Join me as we explore tips for making our words easier to receive.
Rabbeinu Yona teaches that we have to see Hashem in everything. We have to ask Him for success in all that we do as we go through our day. This is Mindfulness the Jewish way. Flexing our bitachon muscle when things are going well will help us through the difficult times. Having bitachon also means that we believe that if Hashem gave us certain mitzvot to do, then we can not lose by doing them! We can rely on Hashem's promises. For example, keeping the Shabbat and eating kosher, giving a tenth to tzedaka, or observing the laws of shmitta will not deplete your earnings. This seems irrational, illogical and counterintuitive but the Master of Bitachon believes that Hashem keeps His promises.
How does our chomer affect how we respond to insult and annoyances that others inflict upon us? Where does our free will kick in and help us work to change our first angry response into a healthier secondary response of being able to let it go.
Hakpada is a midda that has no place in the Jewish heart. We are commanded by the Torah not to hate another person in our heart. We are not allowed to take revenge, nor can we bear a grudge and we are commanded to judge others favorably. But when we've been wronged, insulted and overlooked, this is much easier said than done. What tools can we use to help us rid ourselves of this toxic negative character failing??
In this week's class we analyze the prayer called Tshuva. Tshuva means return but how can we return to a place that we never visited? The Medrash teaches us that we are returning to what we once knew. Way back in the embryo as a fetus we were taught the entire Torah and upon birth, we forgot it all. Our mission is to return to our essence, to what we once knew. The wisdom of the Torah that will guide us to reconnect to our Source, our Creator and to our Strength and our Clarity. The mitzva of tshuva is always available to us. When we begin the process of change, Hashem takes us the rest of the way.
Learn about the "Good Smell Exercise" and how Hashem's kindness surrounds the One who Trusts in Him. While Yosef was travelling down to Egypt, sold by his brothers and assumed dead by his father, Hashem was letting Yosef know that He was right there with him. Channukah teaches us not only to search for the light at the end of the tunnel,, but to find the light while we are in the tunnel. Bitachon helps us to see Hashem in the midst of challenges and even pain. Learn about 'the swipe of the knife".
In this class, we begin the request section of the Shemona Esrei. We start by asking for the most important of all commodities. WISDOM. This comes before asking for PROSPERITY or anything else because it is our intellect and ability to reason/think that makes us uniquely human. With our intellect we recognize how dependent we are on Hashem for everything and so we begin to ask. The more helpless a person feels, the more HELPFUL Hashem can be. This is the principle upon which this request section stands. Please join me on this journey through Shemona Esrei.
Bitachon teaches us to be grateful for everything we have. It also teaches us to be grateful for all the things we don't have. If we don't have it, we have to believe we don't need that 'house, car, good looks, bank account that my friend has. I have everything I need to accomplish my mission. These are the thoughts that we try to integrate into our life in order to have increased focus and serenity and reduce worry, competition and jealousy which robs us of our health and happiness. God does the best to those who leave it to HIM.
In this class we will explore the last of the three blessings of Praise which correspond to the 3 forefathers. The bracha whose theme is kedusha corresponds to Yaakov. What is holiness? What does it have to to with Yaakov and his name change? Why are we called Bnai Yisrael and not Bnai Avraham or Yitzchak? Join me as we examine these and other insights that the words of this prayer highlight.
How does having bitachon alleviate jealousy and competition? The more we understand that Hashem is unlimited and that His resources and Ability to give to us is also Unlimited, the more we feel secure that we will get exactly what is coming to us. Nobody can take away that which Hashem wants me to have. My success is not dependent on another person failing. Rather, Hashem will give each of us exactly what we need and by integrating this truth more deeply we can truly celebrate others success and improve our relationships.
Join me as we explore the meaning of the second bracha of Praise which is known as Gevurot. It corresponds to our forefather Yitzchak and expresses the future Day of Judgement.. If we have a hard time with the concept of Death. even more difficult is believing in the Resurrection of the Dead. The Rambam teaches that this is a core belief of Judaism.
How can bitachon help you to manage jealousy and improve your overall self esteem? When you realize that no one can take away what is coming to you it allows us to enjoy what we have and applaud others' success. Society teaches us that another persons success means our failure but bitachon teaches positive interdepence. This means that your success is mine too. Kol Yisrael Areivim zeh b'zeh - We are like one body and one soul.
Why is the first bracha of Shemona Esrei so important? How does Hashem's help depend on our efforts at times but at other times God acts as a Moshia and a Magen? Ending the first bracha with Avraham is key to understanding the basis of Judaism. Why? Join me and learn the answer to these and other questions regarding the powerful opening to Shemona Esrei.
How does the Splitting of the Red Sea teach us about Trust in God? Listen to my latest episode of the Bitachon Vaccine and discover why Trusting in Hashem happens step by step, putting one foot in front of the other.
Understand the structure of the most important prayer in the siddur. If you only have a few minutes to pray, our Rabbis teach that the Shemona Esrei comes first. Develop more kavana (greater intention) as we learn the meaning of what we are saying and the energy that flows through these ancient words that our ancestors have uttered throughout thousands of years of history.
How does Trust in God jive with making our own efforts? If the Almighty is responsible for everything and decides the outcome of all our efforts, so why do anything at all? This question of Hishtadlut and Bitachon is examined in this class as we continue to dig deeper and uncover the balance between these two seemingly opposing ideas.
Make your prayer more intentional by understanding the words and meaning behind the daily Shemona Esrei prayer. Why do we pray? Why use a siddur? Why do women not need to pray with a minyan? How to achieve more kavana in prayer. These and other questions will also be addressed in this series.
Who can we Trust? The Torah teaches us that if we put our Trust into any person, or anything other than the Almighty, we are putting our reliance on that which is Limited. It is only when we put our Trust in God that we connect to the Source of Limitlessness. How do we do this and why is this the secret to living a more tranquil life free of worry and guilt?
The Gemara (Kiddushin) teaches, "I never saw a lion who was a porter, or a fox running a store." Animals don't need to do anything to make a living. Ever since the first Man was cursed with making a living "with sweat shall you eat bread" he is tested with finding the right balance of making efforts and yet believing the results of those efforts are all in the Almighty's hands. How do we have Bitachon while making heroic efforts to survive? In this class we examine the delicate balance of bitachon (reliance on God) and hishtadlut (making our efforts)
My mother used to say, "Who I am is God's gift to me but who I become is my Gift to God! Join me as we explore the topic of Bitachon - Trust in the Almighty. The Chazon Ish tells us that many people believe themselves to have Bitachon when in fact they are just fooling themselves. How do you respond when things don't go the way you want them to? How do you react when someone insults you or doesn't do what you say? Our responses reveal where we are truly at in terms of living with trust in God.
What is the difference between Emuna (belief in God) and Bitachon (trust and reliance on God)? The Rambam compares Emuna to a tree and Bitachon to a fruit bearing tree. You can have Emuna without Bitachon but you can't have Bitachon without Emuna . Bitachon is Emuna that is practical and applied in real time and real life. Join me as we discover why this is so.