Before I Go ...: Recent Episodes
Michele Matthews
Have you ever had something you needed to say but weren't quite sure if anyone needed to hear it? Michele has had this feeling for decades. Always having something to say but not quite sure if it was the right thing or the right time.
This podcast will explore all sorts of topics that may be on your mind as well. Let's face it, tomorrow is not promised and before she goes Michele would like to share some of these things with you.
Contact: msmatt2010@gmail.com Instagram: _michele_matthews
I believe that same little voice is telling me it is time to move on from this podcast. I started it almost a year and a half ago: after becoming vegetarian, during the pandemic and before I stopped drinking. I had some things to say and initially it was just something I wanted to leave behind for my kids. Maybe someday they will listen to it.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com
Enjoy this look back while we enjoy a little time for spring break!
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com
The joy of missing out has freed me up to explore the things that are truly important to me.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com
When you complete a hard thing it’s way more satisfying then when you complete something simple that required no effort. I get a quick thrill whenever I run a 5k but the feeling of accomplishment is much greater when I complete a 10k. Hard things make you stronger. Keep going.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com
The next time you encounter someone who has a different opinion than you, before you judge them make an effort to look for what you may have in common with them and respect them for that. Even if it is just the fact that you are both human beings. Human beings with thoughts, feelings and emotions. You never know what someone is going through, so allow grace to lead you.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
We all get overwhelmed at times. I am not trying to minimize what you are going through. Just know that it will not last forever and better times are coming.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
We waste a lot of time striving for this and working toward that and we ignore the blessings that are right in front of us. I guess I realize this more now that I’m at the age that I am. My advice to you: don’t wait until your almost 60 to look around and appreciate the life you have right now. It’s a beautiful life after all.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
I am a firm believer in the idea of belief. In other words, I honestly feel that you can do anything as long as you recognize that the first step is to simply believe. Any action that you take starts with a thought. The way you think about a thing is going to determine your actions toward that thing.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
It can be difficult to leave social media entirely. Especially when the entire world is on it. I get it but it has been helpful for me to closely monitor what information I take in and make sound decisions about what I choose to ignore. Remember: It’s okay to unfollow, unfriend, delete and block. I do it often
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Seth Godin, the author of the book “Tribes” says: "The problem with competition is that it takes away the requirement to set your own path, to invent your own method, to find a new way. When you have competition, it's the pack that decides what's going to happen next, you're merely trying to get (or stay) in front."
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
By the time this episode airs, I will be more than 200 days into my journey of alcohol freedom. Yay me! It is worth mentioning that this also marks my first winter without alcohol which means I am experiencing seasonal depression without alcohol.
So, how am I feeling?
I can’t lie … not great.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
I am not a relationship expert by any stretch of the imagination. However, I have seen and ignored my fair share of red flags and one thing I know for sure – ignoring the flags does not make them go away. Ignoring them just makes a bad situation worse. Unlike wine, red flags do not get better with age.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Being intentional is not always easy, however, I feel if you can train yourself to look at the bigger picture it will be less challenging.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
One of my favorite ways to journal is the simple stream of consciousness. Just writing down whatever thoughts come to mind. It’s a really good way to just clear your mind of cobwebs. Just get it out there.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instgram: @_michele_matthews
Is there really still a stigma associated with being divorced?
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram: @_michele_matthews
Opening your mouth does not make you weak. It makes you human. And I’m telling you, more times than not you will find that the people in your life want to help you. They want the best for you. Think of it as a form of self-care. You’ve been carrying that load alone for far too long. Ask for help and be brave enough to accept the help.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
I think as women we want to appear accommodating, or pleasant or flexible or whatever adjective that fits the scenario because if we don’t, we become fearful that we’ll be labeled difficult or angry or that we won’t be loved and we all want to be loved.
There is nothing wrong with that. However, if I have learned anything it is that denying who you are in order to get love is a recipe for heartbreak and disappointment. If you are sending in your representative and the person falls for that representative where does that leave you? The real you?
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
It is that time of year again. The time of year where we start thinking about the new year and our expectations regarding what is to come. I know for me, last year I had no expectations at all. After 2020, I was pessimistic about setting goals. I just wanted to stay healthy, I wanted my family to stay healthy and that was it. This year, I am starting to feel a little more optimistic about the future and I am not afraid to look ahead.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Here’s the thing, I spent seven years in an emotionally abusive relationship because I had no boundaries. Consequently, I spent the following six years behind a wall trying to heal from that nonsense. And I have spent the last five or so years establishing boundaries that allow people in while simultaneously protecting my peace of mind.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
I know I’m not the only one who feels some type of way during this time of year. Maybe it’s not seasonal depression. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one, maybe you’re far away from family and friends, maybe you’ve experienced a breakup – whatever it is, it’s important to recognize and identify what you are feeling and make a plan to deal with those feelings.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Carrying around unforgiveness is a burden. Imagine filling a backpack with bricks and carrying it around day after day. That’s what unforgiveness is. It’s a burden but it is a burden that you can choose to let go of at any time. You can choose to drop the backpack at any time and walk away.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
The truth is things are going to change. If we are blessed enough to live a long life, this are going to continue to change. Let’s not get mad about it or resist the change – acceptance is key.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Bottom line: you have to recognize when something is over and make a decision either to change the situation (if it can be changed) or leave. No, it’s not easy but I know for me, it has been beneficial for my mental health.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
What was happening to me is the same thing that happens to many women my age. We get older and are no longer viewed as “doable” and somehow that translates to being less valuable, less worthy. We have been conditioned to measure our worth based on how many men want to go to bed with us. It’s the “choose me, pick me” narrative (shout out to Meredith Grey) and it has messed us up from a very early age.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Celebrating one year of the Before I Go podcast!
Contact:
Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Will developing a stronger sense of empathy help to change my perspective that most people suck? I’m willing to explore that possibility.
Contact:
Email: msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram: @_michele_matthews
Peace and safety. Those are my priorities. I have never felt more peaceful or safer than I do right now. Peace and safety are the values that I treasure most and if you are coming to me with anything contrary to that be prepared to be turned away. In other words, if you cannot contribute to my peace or worse – if you attempt to disturb my peace – I will happily show you the door.
Contact:
Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com, Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Being wrong is not the end of the world. It is actually an opportunity for learning and growth. If you are traveling in the wrong direction, wouldn’t it be better to have that pointed out so you can go in the right direction? How foolish would it be to continue down that path just so you don’t have to say that you were wrong?
Contact:
Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
Overreactions are dangerous and because many of us have a hard time communicating what we are feeling when we are feeling it – small things turn into big things for seemingly no reason. Some of us believe that if we ignore something it will just go away. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you have an issue and you choose not to address it – it does not go away. It festers. It grows. It’s going to come out one way or another.
Contact:
Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
The depression is coming. I can feel it. Maybe I feel it now because I’m not drinking, and my mind is clear. Maybe I feel it now because I’m not distracted by an unsatisfying relationship. Regardless of the reason, I am grateful that I am more aware so that I can prepare.
Contact: email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram - @_michele_matthews
We cannot be slaves to the constant search for purpose. I am not saying that we shouldn’t reach for more, for better. I’m not saying there isn’t room for growth – of course there is. I’m learning and growing every single day. The key is to be grateful for where you are right now, knowing that whatever is supposed to happen is going to happen.
Contact: msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram: @_michele_matthews
My 30s and most of my 40s were not my finest moments. I was fighting depression and angry most of the time. There were some good times, but I struggle to remember them. I had no idea how to embrace the present moment. I was always looking to find a way out of the present because I always believed that something better was on the horizon. I could not appreciate what was right in front of me.
Does that sound familiar to anyone? Or was it just me?
Contact: email: msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram: @_michele_matthews
In honor of National Recovery Month, I am challenging you to either look at yourself and see if there is a recovery journey that you may need to start. If not, if you’re good – then celebrate and support someone in your life who is on a recovery journey. Even if they don’t ask for help your support will be appreciated.
Contact: Email - msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram: @_michele_matthews
I was worth it when I was single. I was worth it when I was married. I’m worth it now that I’m divorced. I was worth it when I was broke and I’m worth it now that I’m not. I was worth it when I struggled as an entrepreneur and I’m worth it as I sit in my 24-year career in Contracts. None of these things define me or my worth.
I’m just worth it. Period. And so are you.
Contact: msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram: @_michele_matthews
Self-acceptance is key. Accepting ourselves allows us to more easily accept others. It allows us to establish clear boundaries and will lessen the likelihood of us allowing others to breach those boundaries.
Contact: msmatt2010@gmail.com or Instagram: @_michele_matthews
Are you watching the time pass you by or are you taking advantage of every hour?
Contact: email - msmatt2010@gmail.com
Instagram: @_michele_matthews
You've made the change ... now here is how to embrace it and stick to it. I stopped drinking 5 weeks ago and I am embracing that change to the fullest. I’m learning that living alcohol-free is about so much more than the alcohol. Admittedly, in the beginning that is all it was about but over time it has turned into something else. It means so much more. It has changed me, and I really thought that I was too old for real, substantive change. You absolutely can teach an old dog new tricks. Change doesn’t have to be scary. It can be exciting.
Contact: msmatt2010@gmail.com Instagram: _michele_matthews
Whenever you are looking to make a change, take some time and do the cost-benefit analysis and if the benefits outweigh the costs then focus on the benefits and keep focusing on them. Don’t dwell on what you will be giving up because what you’re giving up is not really that big a deal, is it? Is it?
At the end of the day the only person who is truly invested in your peace of mind is you. You may have people in your life who care about you and have your best interest at heart, but no one can truly know what is going on with you on the very deepest of levels.
There is nothing or no one that will come between me and my peace of mind.
Look, when you tell someone (or yourself) to just get over it, you are essentially negating their experiences and conveying the message that what happened to them or, more importantly, how they feel about what happened to them is not valid.
Is there still time to answer those what-if questions? Does the fact that you woke up this morning with breath in your lungs prove that you still have choices?
If you could do it all again would you change anything? And if so, what would you change? Is it even in your power to change?
Staying true to yourself is just another form of self-care in my opinion. Staying true to yourself allows you to set boundaries and protect your peace.
I didn't think I would do it, but I did and I am so glad I finally went back to the gym.
Facebook, for me has become more of a time suck than anything else and I'm getting out!
Are you paying attention to what you consume on a regular basis? I don’t necessarily mean what you consume nutritionally or physically. For this episode, I’m more concerned with what you consume mentally. What are you feeding your mind on a regular basis? What content are you exposing yourself to? Do you watch the news? What are you reading? What is popping up on your various social media timelines.
Whether you realize it or not, what you consume on a regular basis can have a profound affect on your mental health.
Distractions can only hold you back if you allow them to. Distractions have their job and we have our jobs. The only question is: who’s better at their job?
When we talk about life’s transitions there are the anticipated transitions like getting married, having children, getting a new job and unanticipated transitions like getting divorced, death, getting fired – both types -- positive and negative -- can cause a certain amount of stress. The key is being able to navigate your way through the stress and come out the other side as best as you can.
Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past, because the consequences of the decision were unfavorable.
Find out why, despite not having the traditional "happily ever after" I do not have any regrets when it comes to past relationships.
Defining moments ultimately shape who you are and dictate your future path. Defining moments can be glorious or they can be devastatingly painful. Either way, I encourage you to take a few moments and think about the defining moments in your life that have brought you to the place that you are right now
Attempting to control situations and people is exhausting. Listen to how I learned to let go and embrace my peace.
Do you feel personally fulfilled in your life? Do you rely on your job for fulfillment? Or is it just a paycheck -- a means to an end. The end being fulfillment.
I believe that no matter how old you are, there is always a new lesson to be learned. Here is what I learned from a dead battery.
If you have ever sat on the edge of your bed and asked yourself, "How did I get here?" You have to know this one thing: your present life, your present circumstances are a direct result of every single decision you have ever made up to this point. And if that is true, and it is, than it must also be true that your future will be determined by every single decision that you make today. It's time to decide to move from surviving to thriving.
I stepped on the scale and it motivated me to take back control of my health and fitness.
Here’s a question: Do you value your alone time? Are you someone who can enjoy solitude, or do you always have to have people around? For you, does “alone” actually mean “lonely”?
We are celebrating “Love Month” at the podcast. Every Tuesday I am exploring love during a different decade of my life. Last week we looked at my 40s and how I started to learn to love myself first and today we are looking at the present day – my 50s.
We are celebrating “Love Month” at the podcast. Every Tuesday I am exploring love during a different decade of my life. Last week we looked at the bitter, angry years of my 30s and today we are picking up with the 40s.
We are celebrating “Love Month” at the podcast. Every Tuesday I am exploring love during a different decade of my life. Last week we looked at the mess of my 20s and today we are picking up with the 30s
We are celebrating “Love Month” at the podcast. Every Tuesday I plan to explore love during a different decade of my life. We are kicking off the month today by taking a look at love in my 20s.
Today we're looking at the reason why forgiveness is so important. Not necessarily for the other person but for ourselves.
Happy New Year!
Before you begin your 2021 goals to lose weight and get in shape, let's talk about why you're doing what you are doing. Do you have an unhealthy body image? Look, you only have one body and I'm going to help you learn to love it no matter what shape you are in!
We made it! Before the celebrations begin I want to talk about how you were able to cope during the trashiest year of our lives.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is something that affects millions of people. I happen to be one of them.
If you struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder and you are feeling overwhelmed, you do not have to suffer in silence. Get help if you need it and if you’re not sure where to turn you can always call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Help Line at 1-800-662-HELP. That’s 1-800-662-4357.
Let's face it, being vulnerable can be scary. However, facing that fear will allow you to have relationships that are much deeper and more meaningful than you could have ever imagined. Now who doesn't want that?
If you could have a superpower what would it be? In this episode we explore weakness, not as a weakness at all but as possibly the strongest tool in our toolbox -- a superpower!
If there was ever a time when the entire world needed a therapist, I would have to say it would be the year 2020.
Have you ever stopped yourself from trying something because of an intense fear of failure. Yeah, you need to stop doing that because as long as there is a lesson to be learned, there is no failure. Read that again.
We need a do-over! 2020 was supposed to be the year of the clear vision - the year of the Peaceful Project. Unfortunately, we all got knocked out by 2020 so we're trying it again. We are trying again to walk in peace.
Podcasting was not the plan and yet here we are. In this episode, Michele introduces herself and explains the meaning behind "Before I Go..." She will also give you a sneak preview into what you can expect moving forward. Enjoy!