Matthew Kelly: Recent Episodes
Matthew Kelly
Home of 60 Second Wisdom and the-Best-Version-of-Yourself! Matthew Kelly has an incredible ability to put into words what we are thinking and feeling, with common sense, wisdom, practical insight, and humor. He will make you laugh, cry, reflect, yearn for change, and teach you to honor yourself like never before.Matthew has dedicated his life to helping people become the-best-version-of-themselves. He coined and trademarked the phrase “the-best-version-of-yourself” in his early twenties and has been sharing it in every arena of life for more than 25 years. It is quoted by celebrities and presidents, athletes and their coaches, business leaders and innovators, though perhaps never more powerfully than when a parent asks a child, What did you do today to become the-best-version-of-yourself?An internationally acclaimed author and speaker, Kelly’s books have sold more than 50 million copies, and have appeared on the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today bestseller lists.
Overcoming the Darkness
Is Jesus the Light of YOUR Life? - Rediscover the Saints
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How God Sees Us
St. Thomas the Apostle - Rediscover the Saints
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A Very Human Saint
St. John Vianney - Rediscover the Saints
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What excites you most about The Rocking Chair Prophet? – The Rocking Chair Prophet – Matthew Kelly
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Who is the story about? – The Rocking Chair Prophet – Matthew Kelly
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Why a novel? Why now? – The Rocking Chair Prophet – Matthew Kelly
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What is the message of the book? – The Rocking Chair Prophet – Matthew Kelly
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What is it like to get the first copy of a book? – The Rocking Chair Prophet – Matthew Kelly
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What Makes a Saint?
St. Harry - Rediscover the Saints
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Powerful Generosity
St. Vincent de Paul - Rediscover the Saints
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Stop Ignoring Jesus
Encountering Jesus - Rediscover the Saints
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Longing for Belonging
St. Martha - Rediscover the Saints
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A Special Relationship
St. John the Apostle - Rediscover the Saints
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He Just Would Not Give Up!
St. Thomas More - Rediscover the Saints
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A Different Kind of Life
St. Francis of Assisi - Rediscover the Saints
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Nothing Else Is Like It
A Mountaintop Experience - Rediscover the Saints
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Emotional Intelligence
St. Ignatius of Loyola - Rediscover the Saints
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Do You Know How to Pray?
St. Teresa of Avila - Rediscover the Saints
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Absolutely Timeless Wisdom
St. Irenaeus - Rediscover the Saints
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Seasons in Spirituality
St. Walter - Rediscover the Saints
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Every Saint has a Past
St. Augustine - Rediscover the Saints
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Busy Makes Us Stupid - Matthew Kelly
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Does Forgiveness Work? - Matthew Kelly
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Transcript:
"Does forgiveness work? It’s a great question. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things in the world I find. It might come easier to you, but I struggle. And I suppose it depends on what you are trying to forgive. If it’s something you don’t care so much about, it pretty easy to forgive. But when you have been deeply hurt, horrendously wounded, monumentally betrayed, it can be incredibly difficult to forgive.
And the thing is, this isn’t theoretical. If you live long enough, you will be deeply hurt, horrendously wounded, and monumentally betrayed… and possibly many times.
So, as hard as forgiveness is sometimes, it raises one question in my practical mind. Does it work? Because if we can be convinced that it works, it will be easier to do that hard work to follow through.
Does forgiveness work? Yes, but it is critically important to keep one thing in mind. Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, it changes the future.
I’ll say it one more time, forgiveness doesn’t change the past, it changes the future. So, if you want your future to be better than your past, different to your past, more peaceful and less bitter and resentful, it might be time to think about who you need to forgive and what you need to forgive them for. Because the other thing I have learned about forgiveness over the years is that our need to forgive is usually greater than their need to be forgiven.
There is no future without forgiveness. That’s true in a relationship, in a family, in a community, on a team, it’s true for a nation, and it’s true for humanity. There is no future without forgiveness."
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How Many Sundays Do You Have Left? – Don’t Waste Your One Short Life – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“My brother Simon is thirteen years older than I am. When I was a child, he used to sell life insurance, and he later went on to become a financial adviser. I dedicated my book The Dream Manager to him, because in many ways he was the first person to play this role in my life in a more formal way. He has a lot of stories, analogies, and paradigms that he uses to illustrate his philosophy about life and business. This is one of my favorites:
How many Sundays do you have left?
I am 48 years old. The actuaries at life insurance companies tell us that on average an American male lives to 78. On average an American female lives to 81. These life-expectancy statistics are always changing. For example, in the year 1900 the average life expectancy was just 31 years.
Anyway, Simon loves to talk about how many Sundays are left. At 48 years of age with a life expectancy of 78, I have 1,560 Sundays left. It sounds like a lot, but they go quickly.
As Simon loves to say, “Don’t waste a single Sunday. If you don’t waste Sundays, you will be less likely to waste Mondays Tuesdays, Wednesdays...”
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How To Stop Feeling Overwhelmed
7 Ways to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. It is one of the most common emotions in our society. Here are seven ways to get beyond overwhelmed!
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Take a walk. Exercise clears our minds. It literally helps our minds rearrange thoughts and ideas in our minds, relieves stress, and releases happy hormones in our bodies.
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Talk to someone. Just telling someone what we are experiencing can change everything. Even leaving a voicemail saying, “Hey, Just wanted to chat, feeling so overwhelmed today!” can be liberating.
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Do. Delete. Delegate. Divide your to-do-list into these three categories. Divide and conquer. This will help you focus on what’s essential.
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Tidy your space. Organizing your work or living space has a way of reorganizing our thoughts and feelings too.
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Ask for help. It’s a sign of strength and genius, not a sign of weakness.
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Cancel everything that is non-essential on your schedule for a day or two, or a week if that is what is required
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Do something. Start doing something, don’t allow feeling overwhelmed to paralyze you. Inaction will only take you deeper into the overwhelmed state. Pick one thing on your to-do list and do it. It’s amazing how taking purposeful action can shift the momentum of your day.
We all get overwhelmed from time to time. This isn’t the last time it’s going to happen to you, but it is time to develop a strategy to deal with it.
In Part Two of this Series we will discuss 10 Things We Forget When We Feel Overwhelmed."
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You're Not You When You're Overwhelmed
10 Things We Forget When We’re Feeling Overwhelmed - Matthew Kelly
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Transcript:
“Overwhelmed feels like being buried alive. It feels like you are drowning. It’s a state of panicked anxiety and when we are in that space we are not thinking clearly. Here are 10 things we forget when we feel overwhelmed…
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Not everything we think is true. Our mind plays tricks on us. What’s the truth here? You cannot do it all at once. That’s true. You cannot handle it all at once. That’s true. You can handle it one thing at a time. That’s the most important truth in this situation.
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This is temporary. This too shall pass. You’ve been here before and you got through it. You will get through this.
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You got this. You can do this. You know how to get through this, you know what you need to do, you just aren’t thinking clearly at this moment.
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You don’t need all the answers and a total plan to move forward.
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Feelings are not always connected to reality. Overwhelmed is a feeling. But you are not your feelings, and your emotions are not your life.
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We forget to breathe. In stressful situations we sometimes hold our breathe without even realizing it when what we need is the exact opposite. Oxygen makes clear thinking possible. Breathe deeply. Fill your body with the oxygen your mind needs to navigate this situation.
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Doing nothing will only sustain these feelings of being overwhelmed. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Change something right now. Overwhelmed is a feeling of helplessness. Take back your power immediately. Do something to move you out of this state.
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Gratitude changes our state of mind every time. What are you grateful for? (see 4 signs)
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Our problems are usually not as bad as we think they are and not as unique as we think they are. Ask any therapist. Other people in history have been through some version of what you are going through and they found a way…
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It’s amazing how quickly things can turn around. The smallest step in the right direction can shift the momentum of your life.
We all get overwhelmed from time to time. This isn’t the last time it’s going to happen to you, but it is time to develop a strategy to deal with it."
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Are You Wasting Your Life?
Dealing with Continued Struggles in Faith - Matthew Kelly
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Inspiring New Generations of Catholics
Supporting Catechists, DRE’s, and Church Leaders - Matthew Kelly
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What Is God's Plan for You?
The Keys to Discernment - Matthew Kelly
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If You Do Nothing Else… Do This
1 Habit That Will CHANGE Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Meet People Where They Are
Evangelizing Young People - Matthew Kelly
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Beat Distraction When Praying
How to Stay Focused in Prayer - Matthew Kelly
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Bring Your Goals to Life
1 Exercise to Flex Your DREAMING Muscles - Matthew Kelly
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What the Church Desperately Needs
Why I Spoke to the Bishops at the Vatican: Everybody Evangelizes About Something - Matthew Kelly
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Rediscover the Catholic Church
How Christianity Can Change the World - Matthew Kelly
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Need a Spiritual Checkup?
Spiritual Dehydration: The Toxic Things We Watch - Matthew Kelly
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Rediscover Your Dreams
Dream Session: Learn How to Dream Like NEVER Before! - Matthew Kelly
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Relocate Your Joy!
Lost Your Joy? RELOCATE Your JOY! - Matthew Kelly
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La Dolce Vita: How to Live the Good Life - Matthew Kelly
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Too Busy? Do This!
Is Your Life Working? Busy Is NOT Your Friend - Matthew Kelly
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God Shows Us Our Potential - Matthew Kelly
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How Can I Have Hope? - Matthew Kelly
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Been a Tough Year?
Covid, Quarantine, Soul Denial, & Dehumanization - Matthew Kelly
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How Do Your Best Days Begin?
Question #21: What Is Your Best Day? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #21 is about the difference between your best days, your average days, you’re not so good days, and the days you wish never happened. There is a secret to your best days. The secret is how they start. If a day doesn’t start great, it usually doesn’t get great along the way.
Question #21 is… How do your best days begin and what’s keeping you from beginning each day in that way? Write down a recipe for how your best days begin. It cannot be fantasy. You have to be in control of the factors you identify. Don’t write, “when there is no traffic” or “the sun is shining” or “I wake up dreaming about…” stick to things that your own disciplined effort can bring about.
Today’s question is… How do your best days begin and what’s keeping you from beginning each day in that way?”
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Live Like You’re Dying
Question #20: What Do You Want to Do? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #20 is about how short life is and the realty of death. We live sometimes ignoring the reality of death. We live and pretend we are going to live forever. We live thinking we can think about dying later, but death creeps up on us all. Life is short and precious.
Question #20 is… If you knew you only had one year to live, what would you spend the next year doing? Dream a little. Plan a little. Pray a little. Talk to those you love a little. There is something this question should move you to prioritize over the next year.
Today’s question is… If you knew you only had one year to live, what would you spend the next year doing?”
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What’s On Hold In Your Life?
Question #19: Take Your Life Off “Hold” - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #19 is about delaying tactics. Do you like being put on hold? How long will you stay on hold if you make a call and get placed on hold? What sorts of feelings and thoughts do you have after a minute? What about after five minutes? 10 minutes? 30 minutes? An hour? It’s amazing how much rage can build up in people just by being placed on hold.
Question #19 is… What is “on hold” in your life and how would addressing it change your life? Just like you don’t like being put on hold on the phone, your life doesn’t like being put on hold. It’s time to do something about that.
Today’s question is… What is “on hold” in your life and how would addressing it change your life?”
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Face What You’re Avoiding
Question #18: What Are You Avoiding? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #18 is about avoidance. We avoid things that are good for us. We avoid difficult but necessary conversations. We avoid people who will challenge us to grow. We avoid certain books because we know they will change our lives. We avoid conflict.
Question #18 is… What are you avoiding and how is it hurting you?
We are given the ability to avoid for good reason, because some things and people and situations are dangerous and should be avoided. But we use our ability to avoid in unhealthy ways that prevent us from growing and become an obstacle to happiness.
Today’s question is… What are you avoiding and how is it hurting you?”
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Question #17: What Brings You to Life? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #17 is about regrets and dreams. We have an incredible ability to look into the future and envision a life and a world that is better. Are you using that ability?
Question #17 is… Cast your mind to ten or twenty years from now… what’s the one thing that if you didn’t at least try to accomplish you would always regret?
What are you afraid of? What’s holding you back? In what small way can you begin your dream and test it… try it… give it a chance?
Today’s question is… Cast your mind to ten or twenty years from now… what’s the one thing that if you didn’t at least try to accomplish you would always regret?”
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What If You Could Be Whole Again?
Question #16: Can You Be Whole Again? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #16 is about being whole. So many aspects of life and society try to break us up into little bits so it is critically important that we look at ourselves as a whole person on a daily basis.
Question #16 is… In what ways does your lifestyle promote (or detract from) your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual well-being? Reflect on each of the four aspects of the human person: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.
Today’s question is… In what ways does your lifestyle promote (or detract from) your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual well-being?”
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New Memories Vs. Old Memories: Which Would You Choose?
Question #15: Are You Creating Memories? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #15 is about making memories. What do you see when you look back on all the memories of your life? If all your memories were a movie, what category would that movie belong to? Comedy, tragedy, drama, musical, romantic comedy?
Question #15 is… If you had to choose between losing all your memories and never being able to make new ones, which would you choose? Tough question. Brutally tough question. But life itself is full of difficult choices. Every choice eliminates every other possibility.
Would you rather have your memories of the past or the chance to make new memories? Tough choice. You don’t have to make it, but thinking about tough questions changes the way we live our lives.
Today’s question is… If you had to choose between losing all your memories and never being able to make new ones, which would you choose?”
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Question #14: What’s Stopping Your Growth? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #14 is about all the things you think you should do. It is easy for our lives to get filled with shoulds. The question is, who is making the shoulds?
Question #14 is… Are your “shoulds” getting in the way of your growth and happiness?
Next time you think you should do something, test the assumption. Is it really something you should do? Or is it something someone along the way said you should do that you really should discard now because it no longer serves your growth?
What’s behind each should? Wisdom, guilt, misplaced expectations, manipulation, thoughtfulness, fear, generosity… You can learn a lot about a should by looking at what’s behind a should.
Today’s question is… Are your “shoulds” getting in the way of your growth and happiness?”
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If Your Body Could Talk…
Question #13: Do You Need a Break? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #13 is about your body and how it talks to you. Our bodies talk to us all the time. They say, “I’m hungry” “I’m thirsty” “I’m tired.” “I need a shower.” “Pass the salt.” The body is constantly talking to us, and very often ordering us around. But the body is like money, a great servant and a horrible master.
Question #13 is… If your body could talk to you, what do you think it would say? Would it tell you to slow down? Would it say you need a break? Maybe it would tell you that you need to visit your doctor.
Today’s question is… If your body could talk to you, what do you think it would say?”
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Manage Your Expectations
Question #12: Are You Expecting Too Much? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #12 is about expectations. Everyone has expectations of everyone and everything. These expectations can be the source of tremendous frustration, discontent, and unhappiness. And we are the creators of our own expectations, though they can be heavily influenced by other people. And other people place expectations on us. Sometimes other people have expectations of us that they don’t even tell us about.
Question #12 is… What expectations have been placed on you by others that you need to release yourself from? Release yourself from unrealistic and unreasonable expectations that other people have placed on you. And release yourself from unrealistic and unreasonable expectations that you have placed on yourself.
Today’s question is… What expectations have been placed on you by others that you need to release yourself from?”
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Unhappy? Change That!
Question #11: Will Your Life Be Different? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #11 is about envisioning your future. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the present and past that we forget to glance down the path and see where we are going.
Question #11 is… How do you want your life to be different one year from now? Imagine your life a year from now. If you stay on the path you are on, do you like where it will lead you to a year from now? What would you like to change about your life over the next 12 months? Think about the different aspects of life: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, material, financial, professional, adventure, legacy. Which of these areas do you want to focus on at this stage of your life?
Today’s question is… How do you want your life to be different one year from now?”
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Are You Staying Inspired?
Question #10: Who Inspires You? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #10 is about inspiration. The word inspiration means to breathe into. It is the breath of inspiration that often moves us from inaction to action, from aimless wandering to purposeful intent.
Question #10 is… Who inspires you – people living or dead – and do you spend enough time with those people?
One of the great gifts of technology is the continuous access to amazing inspiration. There is nothing like live music, but being able to watch recordings of live music from all over the world going as far back and when recording became possible is extraordinary. And even before that, we could pick up a book and explore the greatest thinkers on any topic from any age. Again, astounding. Are you getting your daily dose of inspiration?
Today’s question is… Who inspires you – people living or dead – and do you spend enough time with those people?”
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What Really Matters Most?
Question #9: Do You Plan Your Priorities? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #9 is about your precious time. How we spend our time says a lot about who we are. It says a lot about who we aspire to become. And how we spend our time reflects our values.
Question #9 is… Does the way you spend your time align with who and what you value most?
To answer this question, you have to be clear about what you value most. Most people have a sense, but it never hurts to put it down in writing. If you keep a schedule or calendar, take it out today and spend 15 minutes looking through the past week, month, year. Is it easy to see who and what you value most by looking at your schedule? Have you fallen into the habit of not putting your most important commitments on your schedule? Might be time to realign your schedule with who and what you value most.
Today’s question is… Does the way you spend your time align with who and what you value most?”
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You Will Influence 80,000 People
Question #8: Are You a Positive Influence? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #8 is about influence. We all have more influence than we think we do. It’s a mistake to think that that influence belongs only to the rich, famous, and powerful. Research shows that, on average, people influence 80,000 people in their lives.
Question #8 is… If you had the opportunity to share a message with millions of people, what would you say?
You are sharing a message with the world, but often it is unintentional and therefore not optimized for maximum impact. It’s time to get intentional about the message you are sharing with the world.
Today’s question is… If you had the opportunity to share a message with millions of people, what would you say?”
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Holy Moments - Best Advent Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Everyone Knows that Love Is the Only Way - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Acceptance and Surrender - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Movie Night - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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The Sights, Smells, and Sounds of Christmas - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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The Importance of Christmas PJ’s - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Technology Fasting - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Attend to Your Spiritual Illness - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Amazing Sundays - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Locate Your Heart - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Be Present Not Preoccupied - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Pay Attention - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Learn to Deep Think - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Stop Trying to Hack Life - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Listen to Music - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Escape the Joyless Urgency - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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That Difficult Conversation - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Getting to Know Yourself - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Be a Pilgrim, Not a Tourist! - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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The Santa Question - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Learn to Do Nothing - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Rediscover Childhood - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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The Power of Anticipation - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Create Memories - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Temper Your Expectations - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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The Main Thing - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Life Is Short - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Begin with Purpose - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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Fail on Purpose - Best Christmas Ever - Matthew Kelly
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What Would You Rather Be Doing?
Question #7: How Is Money Limiting You? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #7 is about the limitations money places on us. Some of them are real and some of them are imagined. Some of the ways we feel financially limited are not as complete as we believe them to be. What do you have to do because of money? And what are you prevented from doing because of money?
Question #7: If money was no object what would your daily routine look like?
If you knew that by working hard and being financially responsible, you would always have all the money you needed to reasonably live, how would you live differently? And more specifically, how would you change your daily routine?”
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When Do You Feel Most Alive?
Question #6: What Makes You Feel Alive? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #6 is about the things you can’t live without. Most of us can live without actual materials things, but there are “things” we cannot live without. A bird cannot live without flying and a fish cannot live without swimming. These things are so much a part of who they are that their life is inextricably linked.
Question #6: What is something you have to do, because if you don’t your soul will start to die?
Musicians say they cannot live without music. Artists say they cannot live without art. Parents say they cannot live without their children. Inventors say they cannot live without the chance to invent again. My grandmother said she couldn’t live without her garden. Some can’t live without golf. Many of the saints could not live without prayer, reflection, silence, and solitude. And none of us can live without God. It is in Him that we live and move and have our being.
What do you need that you don’t have? What is it that you cannot live without? In what way is your soul withering and dying? And what can you do about it?”
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Create a NOT TO DO List
Question #5: Do You Have a NOT TO DO List? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #5 is about the wisdom of paradoxes. Most of us have some form of to-do list that we never seem to get through. But much rarer is the NOT TO DO list, which most of us are in desperate need of.
Question #5: What needs to be on your NOT TO DO list?
Here are some ideas to consider… Putting off important tasks in favor of urgent tasks. Agreeing to do things out of guilt, ego, or misplaced obligation. Saying Yes when you know you should say NO. Trying to please everyone. Neglecting your legitimate needs.
Develop a short NOT TO DO list filled with items that keep you from thriving.”
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Question #4: What Are You Worried About? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #4 is about how we skip around between the past, present, and future… and how much of the now of life we miss out on by worrying about the future or getting tripped up in the past.
Question #4: How much of each twenty-four-hour period do you spend in the past, present, and future?
A great memory of time with friends from a few years back is a great way to spend a few moments of any day. Ruminating endlessly about something you did in the past or something that happened to you isn’t a great way to spend the precious now.
How much time did you spend lost in the past or the future yesterday? 10 minutes? An hour? Longer? Spend an hour a day lost in this type of worry about the future and ruminations of the past and it adds up. An hour a day means you spend two weeks a year doing just that.
What would you rather spend those two weeks doing this year? Every time you feel the past or the future pulling at you in unhealthy ways, turn your mind to the things would you rather spend those two weeks doing.”
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Question #3: Are You Dissatisfied? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #3 is about dissatisfaction. Most people think of dissatisfaction as a bad thing, but often it is just a messenger coming to deliver a message. And that message… well it might be “get your act together”, it might be “it’s time for a change”, it might be “stop procrastinating, you know what you need to do.”
Question #3: What are you dissatisfied with? And if a friend described your situation to you and asked for advice, how would you advise him/her?
Your dissatisfaction may be caused by something large or small and to some extent it doesn’t matter what is causing your dissatisfaction. What matters is how you respond to that dissatisfaction.
Your dissatisfaction is an invitation to change, to grow, to wake up. Will you accept the invitation? Now, that’s the question.”
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What Relationships Build You Up?
Question #2: Who Builds You Up? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #2 is about how the people in your life are impacting your health and happiness. The people we surround ourselves with can have powerful positive effects on our life, they can also have diabolical negative effects. From time to time it’s critically important that we take an inventory of the impact people in our lives are having on us.
Question #2: Make a list of people you interact with frequently. How is each helping you become the-best-version-of-yourself (or not)… and vice-versa?
Are they raising you up or tearing you down? Do they bring light or darkness to your soul?
And what impact are you having on their lives. Are you raising them up or tearing them down? Do you bring light or darkness to their soul?”
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You Can Feel Amazing Again
Question #1: When Do You Feel Amazing? - 21 Questions That Will Change Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Welcome back to 21 questions that will change your life.
Question #1 is about feeling amazing. Not that life is all about feeling amazing, but our feelings are messengers and it is wise to listen to them. It’s possible to feel amazing physically, but it is also possible to feel amazing spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and creatively.
Question #1: When was the last time you felt really amazing and what would have to happen to get you back to that place?
How far back do you have to go to find the last time you felt amazing physically?
How far back do you have to go to find the last time you felt amazing emotionally?
How far back do you have to go to find the last time you felt amazing spiritually?
How far back do you have to go to find the last time you felt amazing intellectually?
How far back do you have to go to find the last time you felt amazing creatively?
You may never have felt amazing in some of these aspects. That’s okay, but let’s do something about it.
What would have to happen for you to feel amazing… physically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and creatively. Not all at once, but one area of life at a time.”
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Transform Every Aspect of Life
21 Questions to TRANSFORM Your Marriage, Family, Career, and More! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The spiritual life is about allowing God to teach us about ourselves. The word education comes from the Latin word educare, which means to draw out. So much of modern education is based on imposing knowledge upon us, stuffing us full of information. But the best teachers have always been focused on drawing something out of the student. The best teachers draw out the-best-version-of-ourselves. They make us more of who we truly are.
Since Socrates and Plato, the greatest teachers have not used a lecture method, but rather a method of questions and dialogue. Everything good and true and beautiful has its roots in God, and thus we discover, in many ways throughout our lives through people, experiences, and opportunities, God is laying questions before us. Always the right question at the right time, if we listen closely. At the same time there are many other people and voices in your life proposing different questions.
The questions we choose to focus on can make all the difference.
The questions we ponder determine the quality of our lives. Ponder trivial and shallow questions and your life is likely to become just that. Spend your days pondering questions that challenge you to explore yourself, others, the world, God, and spirituality in new and exciting ways, and you will live a life uncommon.
I have often said that if you tell me the books you are going to read over the next 12 months, I can probably tell you how your life will change in the next year. The reason is because we become the books we read.
Questions have a similarly powerful effect on the direction and trajectory of our lives. A person who spends the next year pondering, “Should I get divorced?” will have a radically different experience than the person who focuses on the question, “What can I do to renew and transform my marriage?”
The questions we ask of ourselves, of others, of life, and of God have a profound and mysterious impact on our lives.
We are impatient and like the gratification of quick answers, but they do not satisfy. The most important answers are those that we wrestle with. The reason is because we yearn for deeply personal answers to our deeply personal questions. You have to dig long and hard to find many of those answers, but they are worth the soul-work they require.
Be patient with your questions. Nobody has explained this more eloquently than Rainier Maria Rilke: “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
Throughout this series I will lay before you twenty-one questions. Some will intrigue you more than others, but stretch your soul, and try to write down some answer for each question no matter how short. And date your answer. Then come back again, in weeks or months, and answer them again.
Don’t be in a rush to answer the questions. Sit with them. Go deep into the questions. Answer them, and then answer them again. Date them. Come back to them. Add to them. When you add something, date the additions.
This is not because you will change your mind. The process is more profound than that. You will discover deeper parts of yourself. As you discover your deeper needs, talents, hopes, desires, and dreams, it is natural that your answers to many of life’s most impor
Two Questions that WOKE ME UP - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Today I want to talk to you about two questions that woke me up and changed my life forever.
Some people come into our lives and remain, other people come into our lives for a wonderful season and then life draws them in a new direction, and still others, cross our path for just a moment.
A few years ago, I was asked two questions that stopped me in my tracks and really challenged me to reconsider the way I was living my life.
The first question was asked of me by a complete stranger. We met and chatted for less than five minutes, but as he turned to leave, he asked me a rhetorical question: When was the last time you felt amazing?
I have not seen the man since. He crossed my path for just a moment, and in that moment he made a profound contribution to my journey simply by asking a question.
The second question was asked of me by a long-time friend. We were having one of our long chats, talking about the various things going on in our lives, and then our conversation wandered into a long pause. We both sat there in silence as we often do, reflecting on what we had been discussing, comfortable enough with each other for the quiet not to feel awkward. After about fifteen minutes, my friend looked up at me and asked: Do you feel like you are doing enough?
I don’t think I have ever felt like I was doing enough. It isn’t that I felt like I wasn’t doing enough, but rather that I had never in more than 40 years of life on this earth paused to ask the question. At the same time, for my entire adult life, I had been constantly committed to doing more. In the days, weeks, months, and years that have followed I have spent a thousand hours pondering this single question. I have discussed it with friends and colleagues. I have gone deep within to explore the insecurity behind my ongoing compulsion to do more.
That question changed my life. It continues to change my life. It teaches me new things every time I sit with it. It teaches me about life, and it teaches me about myself. One of its latest lessons: It’s possible to be doing too much and, at the same time, too little of the things that matter most.
Two questions. I could have waved them away like a fly at a barbeque on a hot summer’s day. But by some grace they penetrated my resistance and my ego, and I was able to reflect on them.
I share them with you now because I want you to know that your life can be amazing, and that like most people, you are probably doing too much and at the same time neglecting some things that are critical if you are going to flourish.
What I know for sure, is that your life won’t be amazing for any prolonged period of time without a disciplined daily routine of prayer and reflection. The other thing I know for sure, is that you won’t be focused on doing enough of the things that matter most without a disciplined daily routine of prayer and reflection.
I know you are busy. We all are. But prayer allows us to trade in busy, anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, and worried in exchange for being fully engaged in the present moment. And that’s a trade worth making.
Life is different with prayer, and a life with prayer is different.
Nothing will change your life so completely, absolutely, and forever like really learning how to pray.
Albert Einstein once remarked, “If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask. For once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”
The time it takes to get clarity about ourselves and our lives is invaluable. It is worth the time. It
What’s Holding You Down?
3 Things to LET GO of That Will IMPROVE Your Relationship - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Relationships are challenging. Taking two people with different experiences, memories, and hopes, to join their lives is difficult. There are going to be daily challenges. But the destiny of your relationship will be determined by one thing: Your decision to focus on the positive or the negative.
If you choose to focus on the positive you will also work on improving as a human being, in addition to improving your relationship. Learning to let go is essential to all this.
Here are 3 ways to let go:
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LET GO… of what other people think. Let go of what they think about you. As a good friend reminds me often… What other people think about you is none of your business. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to spend time thinking about you.
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LET GO… of taking things personally. Other people have personal preferences, hopes, dreams, needs, and desires. They have good days and bad days.
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LET GO… of your past. You are not your past. You can’t change it. Learn from it and move on.
Learning to let go is an essential life skill.
So, let go of every other version of yourself… embrace, celebrate, and enjoy the best version of yourself.”
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Where to Start… Spiritually
Not a Spiritual Person? START HERE! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The idea of developing a spiritual life can be intimidating. Daunting. But it needn’t be. People often ask how they can get started, so here are some thoughts…
A tree with deep roots can weather any storm. We all experience storms in our lives. It is not a question of whether or not we will experience another storm. That is not the question, but rather, when will the next storm be approaching? And when the storm arrives, it is too late for a tree to sink roots. When the storm arrives, it either has the roots or it does not.
I have been battered around in the storms of life in both scenarios. For some of life’s storms I was caught off guard and unprepared, and those storms damaged me significantly. But I have also encountered storms at times in my life when I was firmly committed to the daily routines of the spiritual life. These storms did nowhere near as much damage. The storms you have experienced in life have passed. You can do nothing to prepare for them or to change them. You may be still picking up the wreckage that those storms unleashed in your life.
There will be more storms in your life. I don’t know what and I don’t know when, but they will come for they are part of every person’s experience of life.
So begin to prepare today for the coming storms. Begin to develop deep roots by fostering a rich inner-life. Foster a rich inner-life by committing yourself to a daily routine of prayer and reflection.
I recommend three practices to ground your daily prayer and reflection:
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The Prayer Process, which is explained in detail in the book I Heard God Laugh and the video series that accompanies it. It can also be found in the description below.
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Daily Journaling, just write down whatever comes to your mind for a few minutes each day. Date your entries so you can come back to them over time and see how far you have come, how much you have grown.
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Spiritual Reading, because books change our lives, because we become the books we read.
Why does it matter? Why is it important for each of us to establish a daily routine of prayer and reflection?
When Jesus was on the cross, he cried out, “I thirst.” In response to his desperate plea the soldiers gave him wine mixed with gall. This bitter combination would have only increased his dehydration and added to his misery.
I meet people every day who are crying out, “I thirst.” And the world gives them wine mixed with gall, which only increases their dehydration and adds to their misery.
We are each thirsty in our own ways today. You know your thirst, and I know mine. Your thirst may be different next week, and it may be the same. But the reality is our souls are thirsty. And we cannot satisfy a spiritual thirst with a worldly potion.
Dig The Well Before You Get Thirsty. I chose this title because our spiritual thirst is real and isn’t going away. Every day we are blessed to be on this earth, we will have a need to drink the living waters that God wants to freely give us. But we have to dig the well. How? By developing a daily practice of prayer and reflection. That’s how we dig the well. That’s how we gain access to the living water that Jesus spoke about.
Most people in our culture today are severely spiritually dehydrated. You may be in that place yourself. If you are, do not be discouraged, but don’t be a victim either. Start digging y
Holy Moments Require BOLDNESS - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Too often we are bold when we should be timid, and timid when we should be bold. Holy Moments require boldness.”
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Like Where You’re Going?
Are You Satisfied With Life? - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“We are all confronted, sooner or later, with two of life’s quintessential questions: Are you satisfied with your life? Are you satisfied with the direction the world is moving in?”
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Is Your Life Focused or Distracted? - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Are you living a life of focus or distraction? What distractions have taken your life off course? What distractions are trying to lure you to your doom? Do you believe a life of focus would be more fulfilling than a life of distraction?”
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Holy Moments Expand Your Soul - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“The soul-expanding concept of Holy Moments is a breath of fresh air in a world polluted by so many soul-diminishing ideas and experiences.”
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Made in the Image of God - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“You were made in the image of God. Act accordingly!”
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My Dream for the World
Transform Our Culture One Holy Moment at a Time - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“My dream is to unleash a massive tidal wave of Holy Moments by raising up an amazing grassroots movement to transform our culture one Holy Moment at a time.”
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Worldly Vs. Spiritual Problems
Stop Seeking the Wrong Solutions - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“It is time to stop searching for worldly solutions to spiritual problems.”
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Spirituality Provides Tools for a Meaningful Life - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Spirituality provides the tools necessary to develop empathy, temperament, impulse control, sustainable relationships, social responsibility, authentic leadership, and problem-solving skills.”
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The Only Way We Can Improve as a Society - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“You cannot improve your life in any meaningful way without improving as a human being. And what is true for one person is true for an entire society. Virtue acquired one Holy Moment at a time is the only way for a society to make genuine progress.”
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The Biggest Obstacle to Progress in the 21st Century - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“The culture’s aggression toward morality and dismissal of anything spiritual will be the major obstacles to progress in society from this moment onward.”
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The Solution to the World’s Problems - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Holy Moments are the solution to the world’s problems. This great collaboration between God and humanity is the untested solution to our problems. Unholy moments got us into this mess and only Holy Moments will get us out of it.”
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The Cost of Unholy Moments
Become Who You Were Made to Be - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Every unholy moment makes us less of who we were created to be, and every unholy moment makes the world a little more of a mess. When we abandon our destiny, we harm ourselves and others, make happiness impossible, and leave behind us a trail of collateral damage.”
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Holy Moments Empower Us to Give Hope to Others - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Holy Moments empower us to give others the gift of hope, and the ability to give other people hope is profoundly beautiful. Anything that can bring people hope is of infinite value. Holy Moments are such a thing.”
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Holy Moments Bring Hope
The Future Can Be Better Than the Past - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Holy Moments remind us that the future can be better than the past. They fill us with hope. They show us that we have a vital role to play in bringing about that better future.”
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The Power of One Holy Moment - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“The rest of your life is waiting for you. So, don’t let your past rob you of your future. You are more than the worst thing that has ever happened to you. You are more than the worst thing you have ever done. God is never more than one choice away. It only takes one Holy Moment to shift the momentum of your life in the right direction.”
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Holy Moments Unlock Your Potential - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Each Holy Moment is a mini-transfiguration. Holy Moments allow us to see what is possible, even if only for a fleeting moment. Each Holy Moment reveals who you are capable of being, and who you are capable of being is amazing.”
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Flood Your Soul with Joy - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“If you are ready for a change, it only takes a handful of Holy Moments to flood your soul with joy and show you a new and exciting vision of the rest of your life.”
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25 Year Plan For Your Life - Floyd Consulting - Matthew Kelly
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Choose Holy Moments - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Holy Moments are choices with powerful and positive consequences. Holy Moments are choices that are easy to live with.”
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Children Need to Know This
Positive Consequences of Wise Choices - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“When we teach children that choices have consequences, the emphasis is usually placed on the consequences of poor choices, while the powerful and positive consequences of wise choices are often overlooked.”
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Consult Your Future Self - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“When you have a decision to make, consult your future self. Imagine yourself twenty years from now, looking back on this moment, and honor what your future self advises you to do.”
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The Wisdom of Holy Moments - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“The wisdom of Holy Moments will teach you how to become a great decision maker."
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Unlock Great Choices
The Secret to No Regrets - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Make choices that are easy to live with. Make choices you can look back on longingly, like you do upon the best of times with the best of friends.”
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Make Choices that Are Easy to Live With - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“We all make choices. That’s the easy part. The hard thing about choices is living with them.”
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“If you only learn to master one moment in your life, learn to master the moment of decision."
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The Key to Collaborating with God - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Our choices are at the heart of our ability to collaborate with God to create Holy Moments."
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Every Moment Can Be a Holy Moment - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Our ability to guide moments toward what is holy demonstrates that each and every human act contains profound meaning.”
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A Moment That Never Lies - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“There is a moment at the end of each day, when we lay our head on our pillows. Our bodies are tired, our minds relax, and our egos let go. It is a solitary moment. If we listen carefully in that moment, we will discover where we stand. That moment never lies. It reveals the meaning or meaninglessness of our lives.”
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Life Isn’t Meaninglessness - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Holy Moments solve the meaninglessness of our lives.”
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The Source of Meaning and Divine Purpose - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Holy Moments give meaning and divine purpose to our lives. Meaning is crucial to our health and happiness. We cannot thrive as human beings without it.”
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The Foundation of Holy Moments: Your Choices Matter - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Some moments are holy, some moments are unholy, and our choices can guide a moment in either direction.”
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What Are You Hungry For? - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“Knowing what you hunger for is wisdom.”
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You Were Made for More - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“We crave more because we were made for more. We try to satisfy those cravings with trivial activity and meaningless things. But this foolishness just leaves us exhausted, dissatisfied, and hungrier than ever.”
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Do You Sense that Something Is Missing? - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“When you sense that something is missing, that there must be more to life, or that you have so much more to offer, your intuition has never been so sharp. Claim these as sacred truths about yourself. Listen and follow where they lead.”
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You Have So Much More to Offer - Holy Moments Quote of the Day - Matthew Kelly
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Holy Moments Quote of the Day:
“You have so much more to offer. You sense it. You may have known it for a long time. It’s a truth that lingers, waiting patiently for us to pay attention to it. It’s a soul sense, and when your soul senses such a thing, it should never be ignored.”
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Impulse Control and Patience
The Secret to DEEP THINKING - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The world needs impulse control and patience… but not for the reasons you think. Well, yes, for the reasons you think, but not only those reasons and for one infinitely more important reason.
Humanity is facing some enormous problems and to solve these big problems will require deep thought. Not sound bites and unconsidered opinions being blurted out in every news cycle, but deep thought.
Big issues require deep thought. And deep thought requires impulse control and patience. Both of which are in short supply in our culture.
Our inability to control our impulses because of our Pavlovian reaction to every notification, phone call, text, and email is creating massive attention in our lives and culture.
The result is our diminishing ability to sit with an issue and really think it through. Deep thought. We need it culturally and we need it individually. A few people need it to come up with the solutions to the biggest problems facing our age, everyone else needs it in order to accept and champion the best solutions.
If you want to change the world, become more patient. The future of humanity may depend on this one virtue."
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What Is a Pilgrimage?
Why Should You Go on a Pilgrimage? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Someone asked me last week, what is a Pilgrimage? It’s a great question, so let’s take a brief look.
A pilgrimage is a sacred journey. It’s a journey to a sacred place for a sacred purpose. That sacred purpose could be to ask God for a favor, it could be to thank God for a blessing, or it may be a quest for clarity… you may have a question that you need to answer, and a pilgrimage will help to bring you clarity.
Every year we host a number of pilgrimages to many sacred places around the world. I have seen them change so many people’s lives over the years.
But here’s the thing, we all need to remember, whether we are planning a pilgrimage or not, life itself is a pilgrimage. We are just passing through this world to the ultimate sacred place.
Life is a pilgrimage, but sometimes you need a pilgrimage to rediscover life.”
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Is Your Business Thriving? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
““Your organization can only become the-best-version-of-itself to the extent that the people who are driving your organization are becoming better-versions-of-themselves.”
We base all our consulting, training, and coaching on this principle. We call it the FLOYD Philosophy. And we offer it to you now as a principle to organize your Dynamic Culture around. Whatever your mission is, whatever your organization is trying to accomplish—grow your people! It is the essence of building, growing, and sustaining a dynamic organizational culture.
The universality of this concept of striving to become the-best-version-of-ourselves transforms people, marriages, families, and communities—and it holds the power to transform your organization’s culture. It will do this in a thousand ways, but let’s briefly discuss three.
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Decisiveness. This single principle alone makes organizations dynamic. Will what we are considering help this organization accomplish its mission and become the-best-version-of-itself? This question provides arresting clarity. Unhealthy cultures are indecisive; Dynamic Cultures are decisive.
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Conflict and Unity. The-best-version-of-yourself principle creates unity by providing a common, unchanging purpose and a context for healthy conflict. Now we can argue for something rather than arguing against each other. This is no small thing. How organizations deal with conflict is one of the telltale signs of the health of their culture. If your mission is your constitution, this principle is your declaration of independence.
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Clarity. The-best-version-of-yourself principle provides enduring clarity that Mission Is King. Most employees have an astounding lack of clarity about their organization’s mission and what their specific role is in fulfilling that mission.
Every business organizes around a principle. What principle is your business organizing around? Perhaps it’s time to place the-best-version-of-yourself at the center of everything you do.”
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Your Character Is Your Destiny
The BEST Preparation for EVERY Situation… - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The best preparation for every situation is character. When we look at our character, we see positive things, we see negative things… the good news is that whatever we discover, we can change our habits and can improve our character. If we don’t like what we see when we look into the future through the telescope of character, we can change the future. How? By changing our habits. Our lives change when our habits change. It is true that if you tell me what your habits are today, I can tell you what your future looks like. If you tell me what new habits you are going to put into place this year, I can tell you how your life will be different this year from what it was last year.
If you looked into your future and saw trials and heartache or triumph and glory, how would you prepare for your future? The reality is that you are likely to face all these things in the future to varying degrees and at moments when you least expect them. The best way to prepare for the unexpected is to start building character.
Character is the best preparation for every situation.”
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Actions are Greater Than Words
You Are CREATING Your Future: Like Where You’re Headed? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“At the core of character, we find our habits. Character is not what someone says, but what he or she actually does. Habits are the building blocks of character. What are your habits? What are the things you do every day, every week, or every month? If you can tell me what your habits are, I can tell you what your future looks like. The future is not something that happens to us. It is an external expression of our internal reality.
To some extent we can see into the future. If your character is your destiny, what does your future look like? The danger in answering this question is that we may be tempted to isolate one trait in our character and rush to judgment about our future on the basis of that one detail.
Some of us tend to rush toward something negative, and others tend to rush toward something positive. But we are more complicated than that. Some of the habits that make up our character point to happy and prosperous futures; others signify misery somewhere down the road. We need to be honest with ourselves and take both the positive and negative aspects of our characters into account.”
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Does Your Future Look Good?
How to See Into Your FUTURE and CHANGE It - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
““Let’s talk about your future.” Did your parents or teachers ever say this to you? People often become obsessed with making the unknown future known but usually overlook the key indicators.
Would you like to be able to see into the future? Some people say they would, and others say they would prefer not to. Different responses are driven by different motives. Some want to see into the future so that if they see something they don’t like, they can do something about it. Others don’t want to see into the future, because they believe if they saw something they didn’t like, they would have no power to change it.
The reality is that to a certain extent, we can see into the future, and we can do something about it if we see something we don’t like in our future. Thoughts create actions. Actions create habits. Habits create character. And your character is your destiny—in the workplace and in relationships. In every sphere of life, your character provides significant insight into your future.”
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Our Daily Dishonesty
3 Questions SHOW How Honest You Are - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We live in a culture where truth has been devalued. Personal preference and opinion have been elevated above truth and objective reality. Beyond that, small instances of dishonesty have a tendency to lead to larger deceit… and if we are not mindful, it is easy to find ourselves being dishonest with ourselves, dishonest with others, and dishonest about others.
Gossip is often at the core of our daily dishonesty. Willingly or unwillingly, consciously or unconsciously, when we talk about others, we are often participating in a spiraling episode of dishonesty. Why do we do it? Not usually out of any malicious intent. More often than not, it’s because we simply don’t have the emotional energy to fight the battle or walk away, because we want to fit in and feel accepted, or because we don’t want to get on the wrong side of certain people. But all of this brings us to wonder how honest we are. So, let us ask ourselves three questions today:
Am I honest with myself?
Am I honest with others?
Am I honest about others?
If the truth will set us free. Everything other than the truth will slowly but surely enslave us. Be mindful and take note of how honest you are with yourself and others today.”
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Problems Make Us Better
Problems are NOT the Problem! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“What problem are you experiencing today? What is it trying to teach you?
Every problem that occurs in our lives comes to teach us a lesson. The lessons can be understood only in relation to our essential purpose, which is to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Every time you encounter a problem, ask yourself:
What can I learn from this situation?
How can this help me to become a-better-version-of-myself?
What particular virtue can this problem help me to grow stronger in?
Problems are opportunities to build character. The problems that we encounter each day give us a chance to abandon our egos and our overindulged personal preferences in order to grow in flexibility and patience. Problems are one of the time-tested paths to personal growth. The most significant periods of growth occur for most people when they are faced with problems. In fact, many of us ignore the need to grow until we are faced with problems.”
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Why Do People Break Up?
Common Interests Are NOT Enough - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Conventional wisdom suggests that common interests are the secret to lasting relationships. But it simply isn’t true.
Common interests are not enough to build a dynamic relationship upon. You need a common purpose. If we are going to further our understanding of relationships, questions such as, why do people break up? and what keeps people together? are great questions. But it is pointless to try to experience the deeper realities of relationships unless we are willing to start with the most fundamental question: What is the meaning and purpose of relationship? Any attempt to improve our understanding and deepen our experience of relationship without first thoroughly examining this question is an exercise in futility of monumental proportions.
What keeps people together in dynamic relationships? Common purpose. Why do people break up? Because they have no sense of common purpose; or they lose sight of their common purpose; or their common purpose becomes unimportant to them.
So, in order to create extraordinary relationships, we have to develop a common understanding of a shared purpose. But before we can understand the purpose of our relationships, we must first understand our purpose as individuals.
You are here to become the-best-version-of-yourself. And the purpose of relationships is to help each other become the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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The Opposite of Love
Hatred Is NOT the Opposite of Love: THIS IS! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The opposite of love is not hatred. The opposite of love is indifference. Hatred is an extreme that destroys only a handful of relationships, but indifference destroys millions of relationships. Hatred isn’t responsible for the slow poisoning of relationships that we see and experience all around us in the world today. Indifference is poisoning our relationships. Indifference is driving a wedge between husband and wife, parent and child, friend, and neighbor.
“Whatever!” Think about this simple expression, which has become one of the most common colloquialisms of our age. “Whatever!” has become the creed of a whole generation. What does it mean? It means “I don’t care.” It means “Leave me alone.” It means “I can’t be bothered.” It means “I am indifferent.”
Indifference is the most destructive force at work in our modern lives and relationships.”
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What’s Driving You?
Are You Being Driven by FEELINGS or VALUES? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“What is directing your life? What directs your actions?
Our feelings shouldn’t direct our actions or our lives. Our actions should be driven by our hopes, values, and aspirations; above all, they should be driven by our essential purpose. People who are driven by feelings are dangerous. They are undisciplined, inconsistent, and unreliable. But people who are driven by their values and a clear understanding of their essential purpose are to be treasured. They are disciplined, consistent, and reliable.
So, if you want to be surrounded by people who are inconsistent and unreliable, choose your friends, your colleagues, your employees, and your significant other on the basis of feelings. But if you want to be surrounded by people who are consistent and reliable, choose friends, colleagues, employees, and a significant other who live value-driven lives—they will help you become the-best-version-of-yourself.
Life is about love, and love is a choice, not a feeling. Feelings come and go, and if we choose to base our most important relationships on how we feel at any particular moment, we are in for a rough and rocky journey. Love is a verb, not a noun.
So today… choose love.”
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Going on a Diet…
What Are You Feeding Your MIND? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Ideas shape our lives. Ideas shape history. We all have a need for a constant flow of ideas that inspire us, challenge us, illumine our minds, teach us about ourselves and our world, show us what is possible, and encourage us to become the-best-version-of- ourselves.
We need a diet of the mind just as much as we need a diet of the body. The ideas we feed our mind today tend to form our lives tomorrow.
Think of it in this way: We become the stories we listen to. It - doesn’t matter if we get those stories from movies, music, television, newspapers, magazines, politicians, friends, or books—the stories we listen to form our lives.
If you want to understand any period in history, simply ask two questions: “Who were the storytellers?” and “What story were they telling?”
If you want to know how a nation will be different tomorrow from the way it was yesterday, find out how the stories that nation is listening to are different from the stories of yesterday.
If you discover that the stories we are listening to have less meaning, contain more violence, and, rather than inspire us and raise our standards, appeal more and more to the lowest common denominator, you can be sure that in the future our lives will have less meaning, contain more violence, and be more focused on the lowest common denominator.
We become the stories we listen to. But perhaps the more important question is, what stories are you listening to at this time in your life? What stories are forming your life?”
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The Road Not Taken
Uncovering PURPOSE and DIRECTION for Your Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“In his classic poem “The Road Not Taken,” Robert Frost describes coming to a fork in the road and having to choose between the two paths that lie before him. The poem closes with one of the most famous lines of modern literature: “I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
Too often the poem is interpreted as being about one monumental moment, one enormous decision, that determines the outcome of a person’s whole life. It is as if, once this one decision is made, all is well, and the rest of the road is smooth and slopes gently downhill. The poem is not about one moment in a person’s life. It is about every moment of our lives.
We find ourselves constantly at a crossroads. No sooner do we make one decision and take three or four steps down either path than we come upon two roads diverging in a yellow wood . . . again!
The fork in the road is constantly appearing in our lives.
The ability to choose comes from a sense of purpose. Leaders are charged with the responsibility of making decisions, because they above all others are supposed to understand the purpose of the people or organization they lead. Direction comes from an understanding of where you are going. If you don’t know where you are going, you are lost.
What matters most to you? Where are you going?”
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You Become What You Read
What Book Changed Your Life? - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“I like to ask people what the greatest period of transformation in their life was. They might tell me it was five years ago or twenty-five years ago, they tell me it was when they got cancer or lost their job, they tell me it was in the town they grew up in or in a city where they didn’t know anyone.
Next, I like to ask them, “What were you reading at that time of great transformation?” Nine out of ten times, their eyes will light up, and they’ll say, “I was reading _____ and that book changed my life.”
Books change our lives, because we become the books we read. What book has changed your life? I’d love to know. Please add it to the comments section below.”
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Not Your Past
Every Sinner Has a Future: What Will Yours Be? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“There is a saying in Christianity that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future. Some of the greatest Christian saints had very colorful pasts. The most famous for the wayward nature of his adolescence and early adult life was Augustine, who practiced no religion as a youth, lived with a mistress for fifteen years, and fathered a child prior to becoming a priest and later a bishop.
In his classic book Confessions, universally considered a literary masterpiece for both its remarkable theological reflections and its strikingly modern psychological insights, he wrote very frankly about his wild and misspent youth. We all have a past; we have all done things that we wish we hadn’t done. This fact alone should be enough to restrain us from judging others for the blemishes in their own past.
Whatever your past, God is more interested in your future.”
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Two Difficult Life Lessons
How the WISE Uncover WISDOM - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Two of life’s most difficult lessons are learning to be still and quiet. How good are you at these?
For centuries and millennia, the wise people of every culture under the sun have sought the counsel of silence. Pythagoras, the Greek philosopher and mathematician, wrote: “Learn to be silent. Let your quiet mind listen and absorb.”
Writing about the importance of silence and solitude, Blaise Pascal, the seventeenth-century French philosopher, scientist, mathematician, and writer, wrote: “All of man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Franz Kafka, the Czech-Jewish novelist, philosopher, and poet, wrote: “You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, simply wait. You need not even wait, just learn to become quiet, and still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”
Learn to be quiet. Learn to be still. These are among the most valuable lessons in our journey.”
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Need to Talk… to Yourself?
Do You Need to CLEAR Your Conscience? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The idea of a clear conscience may seem old-fashioned, but it is one of life’s simple pleasures and the secret to the deep joy we crave.
When I was a child, I never wondered what was the right or the wrong thing to do. I just knew. Something within me told me. It seems that most people can relate to a similar experience at some time in their lives. As children, we know deep within ourselves how we should act in certain situations. We don’t always act that way, but we know. The most common name we give that gentle voice within us is conscience.
There is a lot to be said for a clear conscience. The idea doesn’t get much airtime these days, but there is a tremendous tranquility born from knowing that you are doing the right thing for the right reasons.
Take some time today to seek the counsel of that gentle voice within you and realign your life with whatever it tells you.”
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The Unhappiest People
The 1 Thing the UNHAPPIEST People You Know Are Missing - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Life is difficult. It is those who imagine that life is easy or should be easy who end up the unhappiest. It is the friction of life, the challenges of life, the ebb and flow of the unexpected, that all work together to help us fulfill our essential purpose and destiny.
Along the way, there are many barriers and obstacles to be overcome: disappointment, failure, loss, fear, addiction, discouragement, fatigue, anger, hatred, laziness, and the struggle between good and evil.
Everything in our lives should be seen in relation to our quest to become the-best-version-of-ourselves and embraced or rejected accordingly. It may seem simple. It may seem oversimplified. Genius is the ability to capture complexity with a simple vision. Simplicity is the key to perfection. Embrace this simple vision and it will help you unveil your genius.
Embrace what will help you become the-best-version-of-ourselves, reject what won’t. It isn’t more complicated than that.”
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Feeling Stuck? Lost? Hopeless?
The Secret to SELF-DISCOVERY - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“People try to discover who they are as individuals in many different ways. Some go off into the mountains, some travel to distant lands, others go to monasteries, some walk up and down the beach early each morning, and still others seek to discover themselves through creativity and the arts. I have even heard people use “finding themselves” as an excuse for abandoning their responsibilities and commitments.
You may try any path you wish. You may try to find yourself in a thousand different ways, but in a wonderfully profound and mysterious way, it is only through self-donation—giving ourselves to others—that we discover our true self.
There is no greater gift than the sincere gift of self. It is the essence of relationship and life. It is not something that I completely understand, nor is it something I can clearly and definitively explain. But at the times in my life when I have been able to summon the strength of character it takes to give of my time, energy, and resources to make a difference in other people’s lives— it is at those times that I have experienced an unquenchable sense of fulfillment and happiness.
How can you serve other people powerfully today?”
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Imagination + Vision = Change
The Key to GREAT Change in Your Life! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“All great change begins with imagination, all transformation begins with a vision.
Take time each day to visualize the person you are capable of becoming. If you cannot visualize the better person you wish to become, you cannot become that better person. The more specific your visualization, the faster and more effectively you will be transformed into that better version of yourself. Visualize particular ways of acting in certain situations. Imagine a situation with a particular person where you are normally impatient. Visualize the perfect way to respond to that person, over and over again in the empty moments of the day, and before too long you will begin to respond in the way you have imagined.
All great change is first an idea in our minds. The first expression of every great achievement in history has been in the wonder of the imagination. Visualize the changes you wish to achieve.
If you do not, you will not.”
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What Is Wisdom?
What Made the Wise Men WISE? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I have always been fascinated with the story in the Bible about the Magi following the star. For years I have spent hours reading and reflecting upon this story.
It is first of all important to acknowledge that it was not the chief priests, or even the high priest of that year, who recognized the signs that accompanied the coming of Jesus. It was, rather, the three simple Magi. The star rose in the east, and they fixed their gaze upon the star and followed it with unwavering persistence.
One Christmas years back, I was driving past a church on the East Coast of America and outside was one of those message boards. It read, “Wise men still seek Jesus today.” That simple message had an impact on me and renewed my interest in the story. My reflection leads me to ask these questions: “What was the difference between the Magi and everybody else on the planet at the time that Jesus made his entrance into the world?” “What was the difference between the three wise men and the chief priests?”
When someone shares a remarkable insight or a rare piece of knowledge, you will sometimes hear people say, “Oh, isn’t she wise!” Yet there is an enormous difference between knowledge and wisdom. The chief priests had knowledge. They knew everything there was to know about the coming Messiah. They could have recited every passage from their sacred scriptures that related to the coming of the Messiah, including the place of his birth. The Magi didn’t have anywhere near as much knowledge as the chief priests did regarding the coming of the Christ, but what they did know they lived by.
They only knew one thing. They knew if they followed the star, it would lead them to the Chosen One. Therein lies the key to wisdom. Wisdom is truth lived. And that is why we call the Magi “the wise men” and the chief priests “the chief priests.”
Wisdom is not the amassing of knowledge. Google has plenty of information, but it has no wisdom. Wisdom is truth lived.”
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Don’t Settle for SAFE: Follow Your Star! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Throughout my life, so many people have encouraged me to follow my star… my parents and grandparents, my brothers and friends, coaches, teachers, and mentors. We all need a little encouragement now and then. We all need to be encouraged to follow our star…
Following your star is about discovering who you truly are, what you are capable of, and what you are here for. Following your star is about learning to be yourself. You need to be prepared to dare to be different in a world where uniformity is safe and rewarded. Search yourself. Discover something deep within that is yours and yours alone.
Uncover your uniqueness. Your chance at fulfillment is intrinsically linked to being yourself. Become a champion of selfhood and you will meet with unimagined success.
Everyone is good at something. We all have talents and abilities that are unique and different. These gifts are the key to great happiness in our lives and are the leading indicators in the search to discover our mission in life. Seek out your gifts and talents. Allow them to lead you to the life you were created to live.”
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Rediscover Your Value
Learn to Value Yourself: A Lesson from Pablo
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Video Transcript:
“Pablo Picasso was walking down the street in Paris one day when a woman recognized and approached him. After introducing herself and praising his work, she asked him if he would consider drawing her portrait and offered to pay him for the piece.
Picasso agreed and sat the woman down there and then on the side of the street, brought out a sketchbook and pencil, and began to draw the woman. A small crowd of spectators gathered very quickly, but in only a handful of minutes Picasso had finished the drawing. As he handed it to the woman, he said, “That will be five thousand francs.” Surprised at the price, the woman objected, saying, “But Mr. Picasso, it took you only a few minutes.” Picasso smiled and replied, “No, my dear woman, you are mistaken, it took me a whole lifetime.”
Whatever it is you are going to do today, you have been preparing for it for a lifetime… and you are ready.”
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Time to Live Your Best Life
16 Ways to Start Living Your BEST LIFE - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“We get only one shot at life. Isn’t it time for a little soul-searching? Isn’t it time to get outside your comfort zone and live the life you are being called to?
Here are 16 suggestions…
Visit a quiet church in the middle of the day.
Take a walk in the park.
Turn off the television and talk to your children.
Look for the job you’ve always wanted.
Keep a promise.
Tell your Mom you love her.
Restore an old car.
Make friends with your neighbors.
Say yes instead of maybe.
Watch a sunset.
Write your spouse a love letter.
Fly a kite.
Say you’re sorry.
Ask that girl out on a date.
Try a food you’ve never tasted before.
Make peace with God.”
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So Few Really Understand God
God Is SO Misunderstood - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“It’s amazing how misunderstood God is in our world today. And if we have a fundamental misunderstanding of who God is and what God wants for us it becomes impossible to thrive as a human being.
So, let’s set aside some of the common misunderstandings about God. God doesn’t want to control you, stifle you, manipulate you, or force you to do anything you don’t want to do. Quite the opposite, in fact. God will let you do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it, with whomever you want, and as often as you want. When was the last time God stopped you from doing anything?
But if we can find the courage within our sometimes-timid hearts to turn to God and ask, “God, what is your dream for me? What is your vision for my life?” God will whisper in reply, “Become the-best-version-of-yourself.”
Our essential purpose is to become the-best-version-of-ourselves.”
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Who Am I?
5 Questions That GUIDE Humanity - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I believe there may be only five questions that truly matter. Five questions that humanity has been asking consciously and subconsciously ever since human life first began. Although we may be unable to articulate them, you and I are constantly wrestling with these questions. Whether we are aware of it or not, our existence is the search to answer these five questions. I believe we are seeking the answers to these questions directly and indirectly every day of our lives. How we answer these questions can determine the shape, the form, and the direction of our lives.
These are the five questions:
1. Who am I?
2. Where did I come from?
3. What am I here for?
4. How do I do what I am here to do?
5. Where am I going?
Spend a few minutes thinking about life’s big questions today and every day.”
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More Than Your Mistakes
You Are NOT the Worst Thing That Has Happened to You - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The individual experiences of our lives cannot be separated from the whole. Life is not a series of separate episodes. All of life’s experiences thus far have played a part in the person you are right now. The common reaction to this statement is to recall some negative event in our past and use it as an excuse for the person we are today. Such adoption of victimhood is one of the most destructive spirits at work in the human psyche today. Victimhood denies the great truth that life is choices.
The point I want to make here is that we are not a composite of everything that has ever happened to us, but rather what happens in our lives is almost always a result of those things we habitually think and those things we habitually do. Life is the fruit of discipline, or lack of it. Life is the fruit of intentionality, or lack of it.
Every disciplined effort gives birth to multiple, almost endless, rewards.”
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Happiness Isn’t That Complicated
Stop Complicating Your Happiness - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Everyone is looking for meaning and fulfillment, satisfaction, and happiness. Like most things, we complicate this quest so much that we confuse ourselves about what really matters. The truth is it is really quite simple.
If we will walk humbly with our God, He will lead us by the hand to exactly who and what we need, to those people, things, and experiences He has designed and intended for us, and this alone will be the cause of our deep fulfillment and happiness.”
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The Key to Failing Well: Lessons From Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Both Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein powerfully illustrated this lesson. Both of these men suffered through failure more than most, and yet they became our greatest inventor and mathematician, respectively. Day after day they grappled with trial and error, mistakes and frustration, disappointment and defeats, and moments of complete disillusionment. But they viewed these set- backs, adversities, defeats, and failures as clues to the discoveries they were seeking. They genuinely believed that their failures signified progress.
The story of Edison’s effort to find a way to keep a lightbulb burning is well known. He tried more than ten thousand combinations of materials before he found the one that worked. People asked him later in his life how he could continue after failing that many times. He said he didn’t see the other attempts as failures. He then went on to explain that he had successfully identified ten thousand ways that didn’t work and that each attempt brought him closer to the one that would. He saw his failures as progress.
Einstein, whom many people believe to be the smartest man who ever lived, said, “I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.”
Why do we perpetuate the belief that it is not okay to fail? Failure plays an important role in our development and a critical role in our attempts to become perfectly ourselves. Whatever pattern of defeat you may find yourself in right now, remember these three abiding truths:
-
Other people before you have successfully overcome the obstacles you face; seek them out and draw strength from their stories and example.
-
All of your past failures leave you better equipped than ever before to succeed in your next attempt.
-
It will never be easier to break that pattern of defeat than it is right now.
Allow the words of Benjamin Barber to echo deep within you:
I divide the world into learners and non-learners. There are people who learn, who are open to what happens around them, who listen, who hear the lessons. When they do something stupid, they don’t do it again. And when they do something that works a little bit, they do it even better and harder the next time. The question to ask is not whether you are a success or a failure, but whether you are a learner or a non-learner.”
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Do You Like Who You’re Becoming?
STOP Abandoning Your TRUEST Self! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“When we are healthy in a holistic sense, or in any one aspect of our lives, we are driven by the dream to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Why are there so many products and programs available that help people transform different areas of their lives? Because there is an enormous demand for them. Marketers know that people have this insatiable desire to improve themselves. This desire is what drives us when we are healthiest.
When we are unhealthy, we tend to abandon our true selves, often wishing we were more like someone else or that we were someone else altogether. This is often most noticeable during adolescence, when people grapple with identity issues. But many of us develop a permanent contempt for ourselves (or for certain aspects of ourselves) during this period of development. This contempt for self stifles our dreams.
Living the dream and striving to become all we are capable of being is the only thing you ever truly need to answer for, and our only regrets come from abandoning our true selves. Are you celebrating your true self, or are you still trying to be the person you think other people want you to be—or the person you think other people will like?
Now is your time. There will never be a better time to begin. It is time to peel back the layers of conditioning and expectations that have encrusted your heart and mind. It is time to become perfectly yourself.
If you enjoyed the video, you’ll love the book. Click here to get yourself a copy of Perfectly Yourself today.”
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Most Quoted Bible Verses
The Top 5 Most Quoted Verses in the Bible - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Someone asked me recently what the most quoted verses were in the Bible. I had a rough idea, but got curious and decided to do a little research… and here they are..
5. Gen 1:1: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
4. Philippians 4:13: I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
3. Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
2. Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
1. John 3:16: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
What place does the Bible hold in your life? Maybe it’s time to rediscover the wisdom of God.”
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Patterns of Defeat
1 Reason You Feel STUCK in Life - Matthew Kelly
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Failure Is Part of All Great Achievement - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Another of the great secrets that we often overlook is that failure is a part of all great achievement and discovery.
We live in a culture obsessed with success, and as a result we unconsciously foster the attitude that it is not okay to fail. We often measure a person’s value by his or her success. Of course, this judgment turns on us when we fail, and we tend to take it personally. If you fail, you aren’t a failure.
I think baseball teaches us more about failure than any other sport does. A great hitter has a batting average of perhaps 350. What does that tell us? It tells us that he succeeds in hitting the ball only thirty-five percent of the time. What else does it tell us? It tells us that he fails sixty-five percent of the time.
Francis T. Vincent Jr., while commissioner of baseball, made these observations in a speech at Fairfield University:
Baseball teaches us, or has taught most of us, how to deal with failure. We learn at a very young age that failure is the norm in baseball and, precisely because we have failed, we hold in high regard those who fail less often—those who hit safely in one out of three chances and become star players. I also find it fascinating that baseball, alone in sport, considers errors to be a part of the game, part of its rigorous truth.
We must never allow our spirit to be stifled by failure. Failure is a part of progress, not a final outcome.”
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Be Kind to Yourself
The SOURCE of Dignity and Self-Respect - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The answer, for you and me, is to try to live in that delicate balance between striving to improve in character, while celebrating our unique personality and talents. Lean too much to one side, and you will smother your wonderful and unique personality. Tend too much to the other, and you will abandon the character that is the source of dignity and self-respect.
We cannot rush to achieve this delicate balance. Often, as soon as it is found, it is lost, and we find ourselves searching for it again. But as we look back on any day or week, there are moments when we can honestly and humbly say, “For that moment I was the-best- version-of-myself!” We need to learn to recognize those moments, understand their secrets, celebrate them, and duplicate them. These moments will help us to find the balance between acceptance of self and our need for change. We must approach this place of balance between accepting ourselves for who we are and challenging ourselves to be all we are capable of being like one would approach a high-spirited animal—calmly and slowly.
I had a friend and mentor once who used to say two things to me repeatedly: “Be kind to yourself ” and “All great things can only be achieved with a light heart.” Kindness toward ourselves precedes all genuine and lasting growth, and lightheartedness is a sign that we trust that we are exactly where we are right now for a reason.
Be kind to yourself.”
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Perfectly Imperfect?
How to Make Peace With Your Imperfections - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The first step toward becoming perfectly yourself is acknowledging your imperfections. It may seem ironic, or even paradoxical, but life is often like that. Making peace with your imperfections is as much a part of being perfectly yourself as striving to improve the aspects of your character that have become distorted by experience or habit. It is essential for health of mind, body, and spirit that we recognize that what we often consider to be our imperfections are actually part of our perfection.
The challenge is to discern which of your imperfections are part of who you are when you are perfectly yourself and which are a distortion of your true self. A fine and often hazy line separates these two realities.
A woman with a bubbly personality should not abandon it simply because some people don’t like it. It is part of her best and truest self.
You may not be a details person. It’s not necessarily a defect. It may just be part of who you are. Everyone doesn’t have to be a details person. It doesn’t give you permission to be negligent about your commitments, and to some extent you can improve your ability to manage details, but you shouldn’t take a job that requires you to constantly manage details, and it would be wise to surround yourself with people who thrive on taking care of the details.
Similarly, your daughter may not excel in math. Her brain may simply be wired to excel in other areas. It is entirely possible that her best self is a poor mathematician. A certain level of practical knowledge in this area is necessary, but she need not be forced to master the upper reaches of mathematics.
On the other hand, if a man is rude and impatient, it is not because these are an expression of his best self; it is rather that they are an expression of behaviors that have been practiced. Personality tendencies and talents should be accepted, but character defects should always be challenged.
Consciously, subconsciously, semiconsciously, we are all preoccupied with this attempt to be more perfectly who we really are at the essence of our being. But think of it in this way: A tree does not try to make all of its branches straight. It is perfect in its imperfection, perfectly imperfect. And yet it does change and grow over time.
If you enjoyed the video, you’ll love the book. Click here to get yourself a copy of Perfectly Yourself today.”
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THIS Is the BEST Dream You Can Have… - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Before the beginning of time, when you were just a dream, your purpose had already been assigned. Purposefully created, and created for a purpose, you are here at this very moment to become the-best-version-of-yourself—not to become some poor imitation of your parents, your friends, your siblings, or your colleagues— not that there is anything wrong with them, but to become perfectly yourself.
Life is not about doing and having; it is about becoming.
Could you have a better dream for your children than to want them to become the-best-version-of-themselves? Could you have a better dream for your spouse than to want him or her to become the-best-version-of-him- or herself? It is the ultimate dream—and when we turn our attention to living this dream, our lives are flooded with energy, enthusiasm, passion, purpose, and a real and sustainable joy. It is time to start living the dream.
If you enjoyed the video, you’ll love the book. Click here to get yourself a copy of Perfectly Yourself today.”
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Three Great C.S. Lewis Quotes
Three C.S. Lewis Quotes That Make Life MAKE SENSE - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“I was reading some C.S. Lewis again last week and three quotes stood out as particularly insightful… even almost 100 years after they were written.
The first relates to society and the insanity we are witnessing all around us today…
Lewis wrote, “When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.”
Every day I get emails and letters from people filled with regret and shame about their past. Lewis wrote… “You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
And finally, good people are faced with great difficulties in times like our own, and Lewis writes, “Life with God is not immunity from difficulties, but peace in difficulties.””
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Can People Really Change?
Is It REALLY Possible for People To Change? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Can people substantially change? This question represents the abyss we all find ourselves teetering on at least once in our lives, and until we are convinced that substantial change is possible, our lives remain little more than a waking dream. The abyss is imagined; it is no more real than a child’s nightmare. A new awareness of the power of progress can open our eyes so that we discover that what is before us is not an abyss but a path. The answer lies in taking the first step.
A pitcher doesn’t throw a hundred-mile-per-hour fastball on his first attempt. First he learns to hold the ball, then he learns to throw the ball, and then he learns to throw the ball in the right di- rection. These steps are so fundamental that we overlook them. Only then does a pitcher begin to improve speed and accuracy. He throws a seventy-mile-per-hour ball before he throws an eighty- mile-per-hour ball, and a ninety-mile-per-hour ball before he throws that hundred-mile-per-hour fastball. There may be days when he can’t throw as fast as he could the day before. In these moments, he must either celebrate his overall progress or focus on some aspect other than speed. He is not throwing as fast, but per- haps he is moving the ball better than he ever has or throwing with more accuracy. At every juncture, he celebrates his progress.
When a pitcher gets injured, he begins rehabilitation by going back to basics. He returns to the beginning, even to such fundamentals as learning to hold the ball again. A great rehab coach designs a plan with stages and goals along the way so that the recovering athlete can celebrate his progress.
Celebrating progress is fundamental in the psychology of change. In our culture we tend to celebrate by eating or buying things, but the celebration I speak of here is something that takes place within us. Celebrating progress means giving yourself a psychological pat on the back. There is nothing more powerful than the way you speak to yourself. Celebrating progress is the first secret to breaking those patterns of failure.”
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The Light in You
There Is a LIGHT in You! Let It Shine! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“There is a light in you. It’s easy to forget sometimes. It’s easier to go looking for bright lights outside of ourselves, but these are just distractions from the light that God has placed deep inside you.
Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly, alone, in a peaceful place, and become aware of the light within you.
Then as you venture out into the world, be mindful that many people you encounter can benefit from the light God has placed in you. It manifests as hope and joy every time we help lighten the burden of others in even the smallest ways.
“You are the light of the world,” was Jesus’ counsel.
As you venture out into the world, it also important to be mindful of the reality that there are many things and sometimes people who will try to put your light out. This will manifest in negativity, hopelessness, meaninglessness, and resentment, to name but a few.
“You are the light of the world.” Tend that light today so that you can share it everywhere you go.
The world needs Holy Moments. If you enjoyed this video, I would like to invite you to click here and request six free copies of Holy Moments, pass them out, and help five other people discover the soul-potential!”
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9 Lessons for ENDURING Happiness - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Someone wrote to me recently about something I wrote in Perfectly Yourself. As I took the book from my bookshelf to look up what she was referring to I was flooded with memories of the time in my life when I write the book. My father had died a few months earlier and I was trying to make sense in new ways, as we all do when we lose someone we love.
That was twenty years ago. The subtitle of the book is Nine Lessons of Enduring Happiness. As it caught my eye, I wondered… have they endured… I will let you decide…
The Nine Lessons of Enduring Happiness
The First Lesson for Enduring Happiness: CELEBRATE YOUR PROGRESS
The Second Lesson for Enduring Happiness: JUST DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING
The Third Lesson for Enduring Happiness: PUT CHARACTER FIRST
The Fourth Lesson for Enduring Happiness: FIND WHAT YOU LOVE AND DO IT
The Fifth Lesson for Enduring Happiness: LIVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE
The Sixth Lesson for Enduring Happiness: BE DISCIPLINED
The Seventh Lesson for Enduring Happiness: SIMPLIFY
The Eighth Lesson for Enduring Happiness: FOCUS ON WHAT YOU ARE HERE TO GIVE
The Ninth Lesson for Enduring Happiness: PATIENTLY SEEK THE GOOD IN
EVERYONE
In the coming weeks I am going to present a series of videos base on this book and these nine lessons, so make sure you have notifications turned on and click here if you would like a copy of the book.”
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The Untested Thesis: 1 Thing Almost NOBODY Is Doing That Could Change the World - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The world’s getting crazier. I look around each day at what is happening in the world, near and far, and in many ways, it feels like a bad movie. The dehumanization is vast and constant now that it requires constant vigilance to remember that all this craziness impacts real people.
And people are suffering. The brokenness and woundedness seems unending. And yet, people’s desire for wholeness and unhappiness is as strong as ever. It may be manifesting in stranger ways with every passing day, but make no mistake, all the insanity you are witnessing around you expresses humanity’s deep and unchanging desire for wholeness and happiness.
People seem ever intent on trying stranger and more misguided paths to achieve this wholeness and unhappiness. And people seem more intent that ever before on ignoring what seems to the be the untested thesis of most people’s lives.
Everything has been tried except this simple and ancient thesis: Surrender to God, commit yourself to the spiritual journey, and commit to following wherever He leads.
And it’s not just for all the crazy people out there, it’s a reminder for you and me, a wake up a call, a renewed invitation. Perhaps we all need to rediscover it today: Surrender to God, commit yourself to the spiritual journey, and commit to following wherever He leads.
The world needs Holy Moments. If you enjoyed this video, I would like to invite you to click here and request six free copies of Holy Moments, pass them out, and help five other people discover the soul-potential!”
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92% Struggle With This…
4 Reasons You Don’t Do What You Say You Will Do - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Do you struggle to do what you say you will do?
Studies have found that as many as 92% of people struggle to follow through on their commitments to themselves, to others, and in their jobs.
But, interestingly enough, most people don’t believe they have any trouble doing what they say they will do. That’s why they keep saying yes to more and more things they can’t follow through on. Even in seemingly simple matters.
Take, for example, your alarm clock. You tell yourself every night that you will get up at a certain time, but how often do you hit the snooze and go back to bed? It seems simple, yet a majority of Americans struggle to follow through on even the simplest commitments.
Think about it in your own life. We’re all busy, what are the things, large or small, that you’ve been putting off? What tasks never get crossed off your to-do list? What promises have you made to your friends and family that you haven’t come through on yet?
Here are 4 reasons you don’t do what you say you will do.
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You’re overwhelmed.
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You’re overcomplicating things.
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You don’t have a plan.
-
You haven’t made your commitments a priority in your life.
Just like anything else, the hardest part of following through on your commitments is getting started.
Take a look at your to-do list and pick one thing, just one thing, and do it.
Just by accomplishing this one thing, large or small, you will begin to feel passion, energy, and enthusiasm flow back into your life. Once you start to gather momentum, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish.
Have a great day, and remember, do not just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself!”
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An Important Spiritual Question
Why Do You Want To Go to Heaven? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Why do you want to go to heaven? Have you ever really thought about the answer?
Our worldly wisdom tells us that if we want to get or accomplish anything in life, we have to set it in our minds as a goal and then motivate ourselves to achieve that goal.
So why does God make our ultimate goal, the place which every person desires more than anything else in the world, the one place that “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor the mind conceived?”
There are certainly many reasons, in God’s infinite wisdom, but perhaps one of the clearest is that God doesn’t want us to get so caught up in the destination that we overlook the meaning of the journey.
It is on the journey when we discover the truth that if heaven is union with God, and God is calling us to union with him on the journey, that the journey to heaven, is in fact heaven itself.
Do you want to go to heaven because you desire union with God, or because you mistakenly believe that heaven will be some materialist paradise with all the food, comfort, and pleasures you could ever want?
Get clear about why you want to go to heaven, and set about getting there before you die. There is nothing greater you can pursue in this life. So remember, don’t just be yourself, be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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What’s Hidden Inside You?
There Are AMAZING Treasures Hidden Inside You - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“There is something of infinite value hidden inside you. Do you know that? Do you believe that? And if you did, if you did really believe that something of infinite value was hidden inside you, how would you live your life differently?
There are dreams hidden inside you. What are your dreams? Do you know? Have you stopped dreaming? Is there a dream from somewhere in your past that is calling out to you, wanting to be rediscovered? Are you open to new dreams?
There are talents hidden inside you. What are your talents? Do you know? Have you ever really taken an inventory of all your talents? There are talents inside of you that have never been explored yet. Are you ready to explore them? Do you have the courage to explore them?
There is love and goodness hidden inside you. Your capacity to love is astounding. Your capacity for goodness is extraordinary.
There are amazing treasures hidden inside you. It’s time to share them with the world.”
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More Selfish Than We Think…
7 Ways To Move From Being Selfish to Selfless - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Hardly anyone would disagree that selfishness is on the rise in our society. Every day we read about it in the news, hear accounts from our friends, or experience for ourselves the damage caused by selfish people doing selfish things.
But what most people haven’t considered is that selfish actions only account for a small percentage of the overall selfishness at work in our society today. Rather, it is selfish inaction, the selfless things you and I choose not to do, that cause the most damage, or rather prevent the most good from taking place.
I get it, nobody likes to think of themselves as selfish, but from time-to-time, you and I are certainly guilty of not doing things that could bring about good in someone else’s life.
Here are 7 ways to move from being selfish, to selfless.
1 Do something good for someone else, without taking credit.
2 Put someone else’s needs ahead of your own, even just for a day.
3 Listen, really listen when someone else is speaking.
4 Stand up for someone who is being bullied.
5 Give a compliment.
6 Volunteer your time at a soup kitchen.
7 Forgive generously.
I know a lot of very selfish people, but I don’t know any selfish people who are happy.
Pick whichever one of these you struggle with most and focus on living more intentionally and selflessly in that one area of your life with every passing day. And remember, don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Are EXPERTS Ruining Our Lives? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Is our culture doing it on purpose? Or is it some great big terrible coincidence?
What am I talking about? One of the characteristics of our age is an excess of experts. We have experts in the news, on the TV, on the internet, on social media, constantly bombarding our phones with more information, more facts, more opinions, more current events… than ever before. But are we any better off for it?
Ask yourself this, is the world a better place today than it was 5, 10, 15, or 20 years ago? Most people would agree that it is not, and it’s time to acknowledge one of the biggest reasons why. Somehow, as the number of experts in our lives increases, our ability to reason and make healthy decisions for ourselves seems to diminish.
Our base of knowledge is becoming narrower and narrower, but so is our base of common sense.
Don’t surrender your life to the experts. They rarely consider the whole picture, the many aspects of your life, and they are never going to care as much about your health, your relationships, your children, your education, your money, or your life as you do.”
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Are You Free To Love?
Most People Are INCAPABLE of True Love - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The human heart longs to love and be loved, yet it is a tragic truth that most people in our modern world are incapable of truly loving anyone or anything.
What am I talking about? Freedom.
In an age where everyone is constantly talking about freedom—freedom to do whatever we want, freedom to say whatever we want to say, freedom to be whoever we want to be—the sad reality is we have misunderstood what freedom even is, and have fallen instead into one of the worst slaveries there is: slavery to ourselves.
But what does this have to do with love?
In order to love, you must be free, for to love is to give yourself to someone or something freely, completely, unconditionally, and without reservation.
Yet to give yourself, to anyone or anything, you must first possess yourself. This possession of self is freedom. It is a prerequisite for love, and is attained only through discipline.
This is why so very few relationships thrive in our time. The very nature of love requires self-possession. Without self-mastery, self-control, self-dominion, we are incapable of love.
Freedom is not the ability to do whatever you want.
If you wish to truly love another, seek the true freedom that comes from discipline. Learn to deny yourself and delay gratification. Build character and seek to do what is good, true, noble, and just in every moment of your day.”
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The Pandemic of Loneliness…
BEST Principle for Overcoming Loneliness - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The 21st century has seen a pandemic of loneliness spread over our society like never before.
Recent reports show that as many as 36% of all Americans, including 61% of young people and 51% of new mothers, feel seriously lonely as they struggle just to make it through their daily lives.
The human heart longs for intimacy. To know and to be known by others. Which is why the sensation that nobody really knows us can be one of the most debilitating forms of loneliness.
And it’s one of the hardest forms of loneliness to overcome. We get trapped inside it because we have been hurt in the past, and we are afraid and unwilling to overcome our fear of rejection.
So instead, we fill our days with mindless pleasures and activities that never truly fulfill or satisfy us, waiting for the sand in the hourglass of life to run out so we don’t have to deal with it anymore.
Don’t live your life fearing intimacy. Don’t settle for quiet desperation when the meaning and purpose you so desperately long for, is just waiting for you to be brave enough to take hold of it.
Genuine intimacy comes to liberate us from our loneliness. Embrace the freedom and wholeness that comes with truly knowing and being known by another. And remember, don’t just be yourself, be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Are We Addicted to Success?
There’s GOT To Be More to Life Than Success… - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“If you ask most people what they want from life, you will discover that overwhelmingly, the answer is success. But if you ask 100 people to define success, you will end up with 100 different answers.
The Oxford Dictionary defines success as “the accomplishment of an aim; favorable outcome; or, the attainment of wealth, fame, or position.” If this is what success is, please, please tell me there is more to life than success. Or tell me that success is something else, something more.
I believe the greatest success is to be constantly growing, changing, developing, and evolving into the better person I know I can be.
Success in any field—business, sport, politics, music, art, or spirituality—depends upon a deep and profound understanding of who you are and what your needs, talents, and desires are.
As a child, I discovered that the key to success in any field is not a secret. There are no secrets to success. Gimmicks and quick fixes do not lead a person to success.
The key to success is character. The key to your success is your character. If you want to be truly successful in this life, focus your time and energy on building character. Study it, seek out examples of it, and remember, don’t just be yourself, be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Struggling With the SAME Problems? Break Your Patterns of Defeat! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Everyone has them. Problems we struggle with no matter how hard or how long we try.
Struggling to keep commitments, struggling to lose weight, struggling with spending, self-destructive behaviors, addiction - whatever it is, patterns of defeat can come to define our lives.
We want to change, we have tried to change, but we have failed so many times and start to think that we can’t change. Albert Einstein observed, “No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.” When you are caught in a pattern of defeat, don’t fall into the trap of working harder at the same failed solutions.
How do we break free from the patterns of defeat that try to rule our lives? The key is to respond, intentionally and strategically. How do we do this? Be proactive. Prepare. If you are caught in the moment, you have already lost.
Reflect on how you would like your life to be different, and how you want to respond when your patterns of defeat rear their ugly heads.
Overcoming our patterns of defeat leads to tremendous personal growth. Embrace this wisdom, and you won’t even recognize yourself six months from now. What seems like a mountain of a problem today, will appear as a speck in the rearview mirror.
So remember, don’t just be yourself, be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Why People Feel Worthless…
How To Validate Yourself and BOOST Your Self-Esteem - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“External validation comes from other people affirming your feelings, behaviors, and accomplishments. When a child says her first word or takes her first step, we clap and cheer, encouraging her. This external validation affirms the child and gives her courage and drive to take the next step.
At every stage in the development of a child, loving parents, teachers, coaches, and siblings, encourage children to explore their potential. This external validation takes many forms and is natural and normal, and over time should lead to a healthy sense of self.
One sign of a healthy sense of self is the ability to validate oneself. This is called internal validation.
If you feel angry over something that happened, it is unhealthy to repress, deny, avoid, or ignore that feeling. Your healthy self is able to say, “Feelings are messengers, I wonder what message this anger is sending.”
Internal validation also allows us to affirm our accomplishments, even and especially those that nobody else witnesses or will ever know about. Great champions affirm every little success, they validate their efforts to reach the next level. This internal validation is one sign of a very healthy sense of self.
The ability to internally validate ourselves is especially important in the face of the inevitable criticism we all encounter sooner or later in life. A healthy self is able to hear criticism, embrace what is true as fuel for improvement, and set aside what is not true.
One of the biggest problems in our culture today is that so many people are addicted to external validation and lack the healthy sense of self needed to internally validate. This is why so many people feel unworthy or worthless.
Liberate yourself from the need for external validation. Francis of Assisi understood this perfectly when he wrote, “I am who I am in the eyes of God. Nothing more, and nothing less.””
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What Holds Relationships Together?
The Key to Lasting Relationships - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“When it comes to relationships, we always seem to be asking the wrong questions.
We spend too much time wondering why relationships don’t work out. Why friendships end. And why people break up.
These are great questions, but surely the more important question is: What keeps people together?
And not just together, but together in dynamic relationships. For the primary goal of relationships is not simply to stay together. Many people succeed in staying together but have failed relationships: their relationships are surviving but not thriving.
Common interests are not enough to build a great relationship on. They certainly can be part of one, but they don’t guarantee the success of a relationship.
Why? Because interests change.
You may share a love of movies, museums, art, animals, or any number of interests that can draw people together. But it is a mistake to think that these provide a solid foundation for a long-term relationship.
In fact, common interests can very often turn out to be a false foundation, creating the illusion of a deeper relationship than is actually present. Common interests quite simply are not enough to build a dynamic long-term relationship upon. You need a common purpose.
My dream for you, is that in your primary relationships, you will arrive at an agreement with your partner that the purpose of your relationship will be to help each other become the-best-versions-of-yourselves.
This common purpose will provide a touchstone of sanity in every situation and become the great guiding North Star of your relationship.
Do you share common purpose in your primary relationship? If you do, wonderful, I am so happy for you. If not, have that conversation with you partner, and have it today. Begin building your relationship on the solid foundation of common purpose.”
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Is Your Relationship in Trouble?
7 Signs Your Relationship Is in Trouble - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The first truth of relationships is that all relationships have problems.
But not all problems are created equal, and some problems are a sign that a relationship can’t work or is in need of some serious help.
Here are 7 signs your relationship is in trouble.
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You’ve stopped growing, either individually or as a couple.
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You lack common purpose.
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You’ve forgotten the story of your relationship.
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You’re not spending time together.
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Lack of communication.
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Lack of accountability and commitment in following through for the other person.
And 7. You’re unwilling to forgive each other.
All relationships are a work in progress, but if you find that you’re the only one in the relationship working on that progress, it may be a sign that you need to move on.
But if the relationship is a marriage, don’t let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do. Begin today, in small ways to address the issues present in your relationship. And remember, don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Need To Reduce Stress?
3 TOP Reasons To Be Spontaneous - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We live busy lives with packed schedules, and sometimes we can feel like slaves to the many, many things that demand our time and attention. That’s why from time to time, we all need a little spontaneity.
Here are 3 reasons spontaneity is good for you:
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Spontaneity makes us more creative. And creativity isn’t just for artists and writers, it is for mothers and fathers, friends and lovers, employees and leaders.
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Spontaneity is the antidote for stress. Lots of our stress comes from holding onto the same thing for too long. That thing might be a project, it might be a toxic thought, it might be a depleting routine. Spontaneity allows us to let go, and as we do our stress drains away.
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Spontaneity teaches us to be flexible. Being overly rigid prevents us from being present to the moment, leads to unnecessary conflict in relationships, and leads us to value process over substance, thus missing out on what matters most. Spontaneity is proof that you are capable of being flexible.
Spontaneity is an amazing thing.
When was the last time you did something truly spontaneous? Has it been too long? Do something wonderfully spontaneous this weekend. Do it with someone you love, or do it on your own. But do it. It will refresh your soul.”
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Better Than IQ?
Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ) SUPERIOR to IQ? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We hear a lot of talk about emotional intelligence, or EQ, but ask most people to give you an example of it, and they cannot.
So what is it?
EQ is defined as “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions.” Emotional intelligence makes us aware of how the things we do and say affect other people and allows us to alter our behavior to create healthier relationships.
Two major ways emotional intelligence manifests in our lives are through awareness and empathy.
Are you aware of how what you are doing and saying is affecting the people around you? Do you notice when someone isn’t quite herself, or when he seems to be having a bad day?
Are you able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when you have to make tough decisions that affect others? Are you able to see your own actions from the perspective of someone else?
It is becoming clearer and clearer that EQ is a much better predictor of success than IQ, both personally and professionally.
Why? Because EQ determines how well individuals work and play with others. It also determines leadership qualities, work ethic and impulse control, all qualities sorely lacking in our culture today.
Indeed, experts agree that Emotional Intelligence is disappearing from our culture at an alarming rate never seen before.
If you were to pick one area of life to grow and improve in this year, let it be Emotional Intelligence. Become a student of EQ, live it out in your own life and observe it in others. Few things will have as much of an impact on your success, happiness, joy, and relationships. So remember, don’t just be yourself, be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Struggling With Self-Worth?
4 TOXIC Habits That Are Killing Your Self-Worth - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“One thing that never ceases to amaze me is how universal our struggle with self-worth is as human beings. I have met some of the most famous and successful people in the world, and it’s amazing how low their sense of self-worth is. I have met some of the most beautiful and talented people in the world, and it’s amazing how much they struggle with issues related to self-worth.
Here are 4 toxic habits that may be killing your self-worth:
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Comparing yourself to other people. Comparisons are worthless in a world of beautifully unique individuals. And comparing ourselves to others leads us to think about all we are not rather than all we are.
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Thinking you know what other people are thinking about you. Perhaps you think they don’t like you, perhaps you think they are looking down on you and judging you, perhaps you think they think they are better than you. The truth is, most people don’t have that much time to think about you because they are too busy thinking about themselves.
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Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. Most people over-estimate what they can accomplish in a day, so even if they accomplish a great many things, they still feel they have failed. This is just one simple example, but this approach bleeds into every aspect of our lives. Start setting reasonable expectations.
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Judging yourself by the worst thing you ever did. People are not who they were on their best day or their worst day. We are all more dynamic and more complicated and more wonderful than that. It’s time to let go of your worst day and move on to create some more best days.
How we feel about ourselves impacts how we relate with others. How we feel about ourselves impacts our physical health. And how we feel about ourselves is much more within our influence than we sometimes realize.”
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What Hurts Your SOUL? - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“We know what can hurt our bodies, we have some sense of what can hurt our minds, but do you know what hurts your soul?
It’s a huge question, but one most people never, and I mean never, think about. Yet, we wonder why our lives are so dysfunctional and our world is so broken.
We tremble in the face of physical danger. Mental anguish can be crippling. But we seem oblivious to the spiritual danger we are toying with at every turn.
What has hurt your soul? What is hurting your soul? What can hurt your soul? Reflect on these questions. The answers will guide you wisely.”
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If You Do NOTHING Else… Get To Know the Shepherd - Matthew Kelly
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How Will Your Life Change TODAY? Learn To Live From a DEEP Place - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The question I have for you today is, how will your life changed today? We're just coming along to have a great time or are we coming for a life changing event? And you know what? You get to decide. You get to decide if today is a life changing event or just another thing on your calendar. You get to decide that. Why? Because we're responsible. We're responsible. We're response able, we're capable of responding. You're going to have every chance in the world today to have a life changing experience. But this is what I know for sure. It's not about what I have to say. It's not about what Elliot has to sing. It's not about what the other speakers will say today. It's about what God is going to do in your heart and say in your heart to you today. And can we actually learn to listen to that? Can we learn to listen to that?
When I was a kid, John Paul II came to Sydney and my dad took me to mass and it was like three million people there. I'm like six miles away from the Pope. I'm looking at him on a big screen like that. But I remember that after communion, he kneeled down to pray and he closed his eyes. And you could just tell that he was going to a place deep, deep, deep within him. You could also tell that he lived his life from that deep place.
Find that deep place within you. We've all got it. Find that deep place within you where you can connect with God, discover that best version of yourself, God's dream for you and begin to live your life in that deep place, because the world doesn't need any more people living a shallow life. The church doesn't need any more people living shallow and superficial lives. The world and the church need a few brave souls who are willing to go to that deep place, find that deep place and start to live their life from that deep place.
There's a great story in the Gospels. Jesus comes along one morning and the disciples they've been out fishing all night. And Jesus says, Jesus. And Jesus says, well just set off the boats and put down the nets and you'll get a big catch. Now we know historically now that the type of boats that they would've been fishing with and the type of nets they would've been fishing with, that's probably a two or a three hour exercise. Okay? It wasn't just, oh, just nudge the boat out there and put the nets. It wasn't like a tad pole net. And you know what the disciples were thinking, right?
They're thinking, hold on a minute, preacher boy, we are expert fishermen. This is what we do. You might be good with healing the sick and feeding the 5,000 and all that sort of stuff, even raising people from the dead, but we are expert fishermen. That's counterintuitive, right? It was counterintuitive for those guys to set their nets out, to take the boats back out, but they did it. Why? Faith. Faith requires us to do things very, very often that are counterintuitive, counter to the world's wisdom, but deeply steeped in God's wisdom. Find that deep place within you because just like the disciples, if you set your nets down into the deep, God will give you an enormous catch.”
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A God-Size Hole In Our Hearts…
You Have a GOD-SIZE Hole in Your Heart: What Are You Filling It With? - Matthew Kelly
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What Are The Gospels Calling You To?
What Are You MISSING From the Gospels? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I have this exercise I do at church on Sunday. After father gets up and reads the gospel or the deacon, sometimes I forget the deacons, then they beat me up in the parking lot afterwards, I have this exercise I do at church on Sunday. After father, the priest or the deacon reads the Gospel, I ask myself this question, if I just live this one Gospel reading 100%, so not the whole Gospels, not the whole Bible, not all of church teaching, not the whole catechism, but if I just live this one reading 100%, how much would my life change? And the answer every single Sunday, radically. My life would change radically. If I just lived one Sunday reading a hundred percent, my life would change radically. And you know what that shows me, you know what that tells me, you what that teaches me? That teaches me that there is a gap between my life and the gospel. There's a gap between my life and the gospel. And it's a big gap. It's a big gap.
But here's the problem. Most of us, we think we're pretty good Christians. Seriously. Most people think they're pretty good Christians. We are in a culture now where many people think that non-Christian people are pretty good Christians. You'll hear people say all the time, ah, she's not Christian, but she's one of the best Christians I ever met. I mean, what the heck does that say about Christians? 84% of Americans believe they are excellent drivers. 84% of Americans believe that they are excellent drivers. Now I think you and I have enough experience on the roads to recognize that is a monumental case of self delusion. But we do the same thing with our Christianity. Most people think they're pretty good Christians. Compared to what? Not compared to the gospel, not compared to the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. Compared to what? Compared to how bad things are getting in our society? Compared to the neighbor next door, who sits on the back all day with no shirt on, doing shots of tequila and shooting squirrels with his BB gun? I mean maybe compared to him, you're a pretty good Christian.
But compared to what? Because we tend to find a point of reference that suits ourselves. And every Sunday, when the priest or the deacon gets up to read that Gospel, Jesus blows that point of reference away. And he says, no, no, here's the point of reference. Here's the point of reference. This is what I want you to be thinking about. And then we go way back out into the world, right, trying to have our marriages work and trying to raise our kids in a responsible way and work on our careers and manage our personal finances and our health and wellbeing. And we've got all this stuff going on, and yet there's something inside of us that says, hold on a minute, you're missing something and the something you're missing is really important.”
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How To Find Your TRUEST Self - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The biggest mistake we make when we set out to find ourselves is to think that we need to do something. If we are looking to find ourselves it means we are confused and in search of clarity. Some people set off to travel the world in a quest to find themselves and most fail, because the adventure becomes a distraction to the work at hand: finding themselves.
I will share with you the secret to finding yourself. Do nothing. Find a quiet room, a comfy chair, and sit in silence. Do this every day for as long as you can spare, and I promise, you will see visions and dream dreams, and your best, truest, most gifted and capable self will emerge.
Clarity emerges from silence. What could be more important than finding yourself? Everyone who loves and cares for you wants that for you, and it is a sign of wisdom that you want it for yourself. Give yourself the gift of silence each day and your unique and wonderful self will emerge. It has no choice.”
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Jesus Was a Radical 2000 Years Ago AND Today - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I think our culture's trying to pass off some sort of plaster-cast, candy coated Jesus. And the truth is this plaster-cast, candy coated Jesus is really easy to ignore.
That's why the world is ignoring the Jesus we're presenting because the plaster-cast, candy coated Jesus is really, really, really easy to ignore. But once you get into the scriptures, once you really get into the Gospels and discover and rediscover the life and teachings of Jesus Christ, I think the one thing you're going to discover is that Jesus was a radical. Jesus was a radical. His life was radical. His example was radical. His love was radical. His teachings were radical and his teachings were radical 2000 years ago. And guess what? They're radical 2000 years later. And there's any number of examples of that as you read through the Gospels.
Let's take a look at maybe one. Jesus in Matthew's Gospel says, "Love your enemy and pray for them." Love your enemy and pray for your enemy. And that was a radical teaching 2000 years ago. What was the teaching before that? Does anyone remember? That's right, "Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth." Jesus comes along and says, no more vengeance. Enough with the revenge. Love your enemy, pray for them. Now, when father gets up to read the gospel on Sunday and they start reading that gospel, we think, oh yeah, I've heard that one. Hope he's got a good homily. But what are we missing right there? Right there in that reading, we are witness to one of the great moral, ethical intersections in history of the world.
Jesus says, all right, we're going, we're taking a right turn here, humanity. No more vengeance, no more eye for an eye, tooth for tooth. We're taking a right turn here, humanity. From now on, we're going to love our neighbor and we're going to pray for them. It's a radical teaching 2000 years later. It was a radical teaching 2000 years ago. I think one of the beautiful things about Catholicism is the mass, massively misunderstood, but I think when you delve into it, there's just genius there. And one of the beautiful, most beautiful things about the mass, part of the genius of the mass, is how we pray for the whole world throughout the course of the mass. Okay? If you take the mass apart, if you dissect the mass and you look at all the people and all the groups of people that we pray for throughout the course of the mass, it's quite extraordinary.
And then you think about the idea that right now at this very moment, our family, the Catholic church, the biggest family in the world, is praying for the whole world in thousands of places all around the world, wherever the mass is being prayed right now at this very moment. It's quite extraordinary. And then we have the prayers of the faithful. We have the petitions. We have that moment where we localize our prayer, we pray for the sick, we pray for the little bit sick, the almost sick, the very sick, the partially sick, we pray for the dead, we pray for the almost dead, we pray for the hungry, the lonely, the bored, the depressed, the leaders, the followers. We pray for everybody. And I travel quite a bit, so I visit a lot of churches. But I have to say in a decade, between September 11 and the death of Osama Bin Laden, I'd never heard a prayer in any of our churches for Osama Bin Laden. But that my friends is the Gospel. And it's uncomfortable. Yes or yes?
It's uncomfortable and it is radical. And it challenges us to the core. And if your priest had ever got up and said, listen, we're going offer mass today for Osama Bin Laden, what kind of reaction do you think he might have got? People would be walking out, right? Be letters to the editor, letters to the Archbishop. The media would be there before mass ended. It's radica
Discover The REAL Jesus
This 1 SIMPLE Act Is a Spiritual Game Changer! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I believe that this is a moment where we need game changers in the church. And this is what I know for sure, if the Catholic Church needs game changers, then every diocese and archdiocese needs game changers. And if every archdiocese and diocese needs game changers, then every parish needs game changers. And if every parish needs game changers, then every Catholic needs game changers. And we can be most effective when we focus on our main point of influence, and our main point of influence is ourselves. You want to have most impact for God, you want to have most impact for the church, you want to have most impact in the world, the question you got to ask yourself is, how is God calling you to transform your life right now? Not the person next to you, not your spouse, not your kids, not your friends, not your pastor, not your boss, not your colleagues, but you.
And the truth is, I think when we face that question, we realize that God is interested in transforming our lives in a really powerful way. I'm just going to give you one game changer today. As we come to the end of this year of faith, we begin this new journey in our lives. I want to encourage you and challenge you to take out your Bible, to pick up the word of God and start with the Gospels, read them over and over for a whole year, 15 minutes a day over and over for a whole year. Allow the life and teachings of Jesus Christ to sink deep into your life so that we can once again, discover the real Jesus.”
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God Doesn’t Tweak Things…
God Is in the Business of Transformation - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Words have value based on who speaks them. If you've got a friend and that friend's always telling lies to you and that person tells you something, you'll just ignore it. Right? Because you think, ah, they're always telling me lies. I don't know what to believe. Words have value based on who speaks them. Now on the other hand, let's say you've got a really good friend who you love and you trust and you respect because they're a man or a woman of character and virtue. And that person says something to you that you violently disagree with, that challenges you to change your life in a deep way, you will listen to that person in a different way because words have value based on who speaks them. Because you love and trust them and respect them as people of virtue in character, you'll hear them in a different way.
And so the Gospels have this real power, incredible power that very often is untapped in our lives. New Year's resolution this year? Not too many New Year's resolutions. You've failed so many times you think, no. No New Year's resolution this year. One of the most popular New Year's resolutions, most popular New Year's resolution is to lose weight. But one of the most popular New Year's resolutions is to read the Bible. This is the year I'm going to read the Bible, people say to themselves. So, right around now, usually around in October, people go out and they buy a new Bible, because the old one didn't work, so they go out, they buy a new Bible and they bring it home. They don't start in October because it's a New Year's resolution. So they wait, they actually wait two and a half months until the 1st of January. 1st of January, they take out that new Bible and they get started.
January's great. You got Genesis. I mean so many rich great stories. And then you got Exodus. They're fine until about the middle of April, they're in Leviticus, they want to shoot themselves. They're thinking what on earth is going on here?
Here's the thing, the word of God has the power to transform our lives. Now sometimes there's these big intellectual arguments about, why don't people read the Bible more? As far as I'm concerned, it's an easy answer to that question. People don't read the Bible more because the word of God has the power to transform our lives. And the truth is, we don't want our lives transformed. If we're honest with each other, we don't really want our lives transformed. We want some tweaking. Seriously, we want some tweaking, but transformation? No, no, no. No, thank you, God.
And we avoid the word of God because the word of God has the power to transform our lives. And very often when we pray, we pray for tweaking, don't we? Dear God, please tweak this. And dear God, please tweak that. And please tweak my husband and tweak him again. And tweak my children and tweak my boss and tweak my colleagues. We pray for tweaking. And I don't know if you've noticed, but God doesn't answer many tweaking prayers. And sometimes we'll pray over and over and over for tweaking. And we think, why doesn't God answer my prayer? The reason is because God is not in the business of tweaking. God is in the business of transformation.
And the truth is, many of us have never really prayed a prayer of transformation. Many of us have never really come to God and say, all right, God, everything's on the table, transform me, transform me, transform my marriage, transform my personal finances, transform my health, transform my family, transform my career, transform me and my life, God. It's a hard prayer to pray.”
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More Than A Prophet
The ULTIMATE Virtue of Secularism: You Can’t Just Tolerate Jesus - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“When it comes to the other major world religions, the other major world religions, for the most part, believe that Jesus was either a great teacher or great prophet. Which sounds nice, doesn't it? It sounds accommodating. It sounds very tolerant. The only problem is that Jesus didn't claim to be a great teacher or a great prophet. Who did Jesus claim to be? Claimed to be the son of God. If he isn't the son of God, he's not a great prophet, he's not a great teacher, he is the biggest liar in the history of the world. So let's be clear about that. If he isn't actually who he claimed to be, it's not like you can say, well, I'll tell you what, Jesus was really confused about that Messiah business, but let's give him a consolation prize and make him a great prophet.
These things are in incongruent. We got to start thinking about these things on a deeper level. These things are incongruent. And it sounds nice and it sounds friendly and it sounds accommodating and it sounds tolerant. Don't get me started on the tolerance thing, hey. I think that's another speech. But let me just say one thing. No, seriously, let me just say one thing, because I think it clears the whole thing up. You don't have to tolerate things that are good, do you? You don't sit down to a great meal and say, what a fabulous meal. I'll tolerate it. You don't come back from a great vacation and say, oh, we had a fabulous vacation. I tolerated it for 10 days. I just tolerated it. Now, you don't have to tolerate good things. And tolerance is the ultimate virtue in secular society today, the ultimate virtue of secularism. We've got to start thinking about these things on a deeper level.
The other major word religions believe that he was a great teacher or great prophet. Only, he didn't claim to be a great teacher or great prophet. He claimed to be the son of God. And if he isn't actually the son of God, then he perpetrated the biggest fraud in human history. The biggest fraud in human history. And so we're left with the reality that Jesus is actually who he claimed to be. C.S. Lewis said, you only got three choices. He's either a liar, a lunatic, or he is actually who he claimed to be. And I don't think it takes that long to get into it to realize that he is actually who he claims to be. And once you realize that, then everything changes. Everything changes when we truly encounter Jesus, everything changes when we really discover who Jesus is. And once we discover that he is actually who he claimed to be, the Gospel's change from being another inspiring book, to being the inspired works, the inspired word of God.”
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The Jesus Question
Jesus Was NOT Just a Nice Guy: Who Do You Say He Is? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Jesus was walking down the road one day with his disciples and he asked them two questions. Now, anytime God asks a question, you best sit up, take notice, you're about to learn something. It doesn't happen that often, but occasionally we're reading the Bible and God actually asks a question, which is a real learning moment. The first time it happens in the Bible is Genesis in chapter three, Adam and Eve are in the garden and God shows up and God says, "Where are you?" It's an interesting question because the person asking the question already has all the answers to every question.
It's a little bit like when your kids come home, you say, where have you been? You're not asking, because you want to know, you're asking because you want them to know that you already know. In the same way, God came into the garden and he said, Adam, where are you? Not because God didn't know where Adam was, but God wanted Adam to know where Adam was. And we had this same experience in the Gospels, Jesus is walking down the road one day with these disciples and he asked them two questions. First question he asked them is, "Who do people say that I am?" The disciples say, "Well, some say you're John Baptist back from the dead. And others say you're Elijah. And some say you're one of the great prophet." And then Jesus turns to them and says, "And who do you say that I am?"
I call that the Jesus question. And everyone has to answer the Jesus question, Christian, non-Christian, everyone has to answer the Jesus question sooner or later in their lives and not answering the question is answering the question. Jesus turns to his disciples and says, "Okay, but who do you say that I am?" And even as you're reading the scriptures, you can sort of get the sense that that was a bit of an awkward moment for the disciples, sort of looking at each other, I don't know. Is that a trick question? You take this one, Peter. And of course, Peter steps up and says, "You're the Christ. You're the son of the living God."
Now, if Jesus showed up here this afternoon, after the break, and he said to Jeff, "Jeff, can I speak to the people for a couple of minutes?" And Jeff said, "All right, Jesus, but just a couple. We've got a schedule here to keep."
And Jesus stood up here before us this afternoon and said, listen, I got two questions for you. Question number one, 2013, modern day America, who do people say that I am? We'd have to tell him. We'd have to tell him. We'd have to tell him, you know what, Jesus, most people, they just want to reduce you to a nice guy. And not the nice guy, but just one of the nice guys. There's lots of nice guys and Jesus is one of the nice guys. And that's tragic, isn't it? But our culture, our society wants to reduce Jesus to just a nice... I think if Jesus said, well, who do you think that I am? And you say, well, you're a nice guy, Jesus, Jesus probably slap you. Okay. He wouldn't because he's nonviolent. But I tell you what, he would go temple. Because Jesus didn't claim to be a nice guy. And I think to reduce Jesus to nice guy is one of the tragedies of secularism and of modern culture.”
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Your Deepest Desires
You Can’t Get Enough of What You Don’t Need - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The reason most of us neglect our legitimate needs is that we are too busy pursuing our illegitimate wants. We ignore our legitimate needs because we erroneously believe that if we get enough of our illegitimate wants, it won’t matter that we are not taking care of our legitimate needs. This is a fallacy of monumental proportions, because you never can get enough of what you don’t really need.
That’s right. You never can get enough of what you don’t really need.
Fulfillment comes not from having more and more of everything forever into oblivion. Fulfillment comes from having what you need. The whole world is chasing illegitimate wants with reckless abandon. We use all of our time, effort, and energy in the pursuit of our illegitimate wants, hypnotized by the lie that our illegitimate wants are the key to our happiness.
At the same time, the gentle voice within us is constantly calling out to us, trying to encourage us not to ignore the wisdom we already possess.
We must learn to move beyond our superficial wants and begin to discover our deepest desires.
The difference between our wants and our deepest desires is meaning. A desire is a want with meaning. Our deepest desires are things we want because we know they will help us become the-best-version-of-ourselves.
The problem is, we are all so busy wanting that we have forgotten why we want whatever it is we want. We have disconnected our wants from our reason for wanting them.”
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Seven Dreams I Have for YOU - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Dreams animate us. They bring us to life. It is good to have dreams for ourselves, and it is good to have dreams for others.
These are my seven dreams for you. I believe that the pursuit of these dreams will lead us to peace, happiness, success, satisfaction, service, wholeness, and holiness.
They are my dreams, but they are also my dreams for you.
The First Dream
I have a dream for you... that you have complete control over your mental and physical faculties and that you are slave neither to food, nor drink, nor any other substance. I dream that you will be free, that you will have freedom in the truest sense of the word—the strength of character to do what is right in each situation.
The Second Dream
I have a dream for you... that you are able to discern the people, activities, and possessions that are most important to you. And that you are able to give each of them their time and place according to their appropriate priority.
The Third Dream
I have a dream for you... that you have the courage, determination, firmness, and persistence to perform the tasks that you choose, decide, and resolve to perform. That you perform them with a commitment to excellence and attention to detail.
The Fourth Dream
I have a dream for you... that you discover a unique talent that leads you to dedicate the professional aspect of your life to some work you can be passionate about. I dream that you may enjoy the rare privilege of spending your days in meaningful work. That you serve your neighbor, your family, and your community in this occupation and that by it, you are able to provide for your temporal needs.
The Fifth Dream
I have a dream for you... that you grow in wealth in every sense of the word, that you are never in need, and that whatever your wealth is, you share it with all you can.
The Sixth Dream
I have a dream for you... that you find true love. Someone you can cherish. Someone who makes you want to be a better person. A soulmate who can challenge you and love you. A companion who can walk with you, know you, share your joy, perceive your pain and heartache, and comfort you in your disappointments.
The Seventh Dream
I have a dream for you... that you discover a deep and abiding interior peace. The peace that comes from knowing that who you are, where you are, and what you do is essentially good and makes sense; that you are contributing to the happiness of others; and that you are progressing toward becoming the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Listen To Your Heart
Listen To The Deepest DESIRES of Your Heart - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“For thousands of years in myths, legends, stories, fairy tales, and parables, the heart has been defined as the place from which our desires emerge and the place where our feelings reside. Our hearts are as individual and unique as our fingerprints. I cannot presume to know or understand the movements of your heart, nor you mine, but each of us must seek to discover and know the movements of our own hearts.
What we are about to discover is that our needs and desires are divinely and providentially linked. If we can get beyond our shallow and superficial wants, we discover that our deepest desires are for the things we legitimately need. Beneath the multitude of wants that plague the surface of our hearts, we desire good things for good reasons. These are the deepest desires of our hearts. They are good because in them we hope to better ourselves, the world in which we live, and others. They are the deepest desires of our hearts because their fulfillment leads us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves, and every being yearns to become all it is capable of being.
We would do well to learn to listen to these deepest desires of our hearts, and we should follow them wherever they lead us regardless of the cost or sacrifice involved.
Our fulfillment and happiness, our wholeness and holiness, depend upon us living out of the deepest desires of our hearts. Our deepest desires are directly linked to our legitimate needs. The careful pairing of our deepest desires and legitimate needs leads to the fulfillment of the human person—physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. The result is a life of unimagined balance and harmony, peace and prosperity.
Every culture has a saying similar to ours: Listen to your heart. It has become common and cliché, and yet, to ignore the wisdom it holds is to ignore your very self and the destiny you were created for.”
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The Key to a Thriving Relationship
1 Way To Help Your Relationship THRIVE: Carefree Timelessness - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Relationships thrive under one condition: carefree timelessness. Quality time is now the discredited fantasy of an age that wants more of everything except the things that really matter. You cannot schedule quality time with your spouse or with your children. If you want twenty minutes of quality time with someone you love, schedule three or four hours with him or her one afternoon, and chances are, somewhere in the middle of that three or four hours you will have your twenty minutes of quality time.
I had a friend back home in Sydney who from time to time he would call me and say, “Let’s waste some time together one day this week.” That was his line, and what a wonderful lesson that one line taught me. We used to go out and have coffee or dinner. We would just talk, and laugh, and share stories. Sometimes we would even share a passage from a book one of us was reading. Were we wasting our time? No, of course not. Those times we shared were anything but a waste of time.
In our busy world, there is a tendency for us to try to contain our relationships in little boxes on our schedules. Too often the time we do set aside for relationships is on the perimeters of our already busy lives, so we approach our relationships without the energy they demand in order to be fruitful and fulfilling.
Relationships don’t thrive under the pressures of our modern-day schedules. All of life’s important relationships thrive under the condition of carefree timelessness. Learn to waste time with the people you love.”
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The Key to Thriving
BREAK the Habit of Just Surviving - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We have real and legitimate needs, but too often we focus on our wants and sacrifice our needs.
Our legitimate needs are best understood in relation to each of the four aspects of the human person—physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. These needs exist not only in these different areas, but also on different levels.
There are some things we need simply to survive. We call these primary needs, and this category includes the fundamentals that are necessary to sustain human life. Examples of primary needs would be food to eat, water to drink, and air to breathe. Without these primary legitimate needs, our lives would very quickly be brought to a grinding halt. Our primary needs are fundamental to our existence. We need them just to survive.
But life is not just about surviving, it’s about thriving, about becoming the-best-versions-of-ourselves.
Our secondary needs are not critical to our survival. We can survive without them for years in many cases. But they are essential if we are going to thrive in any (or all) of the four aspects of our lives. When our secondary needs are being fulfilled, we begin to blossom and bloom as human beings. The satisfaction of our secondary needs allows us to achieve and maintain optimum health and well-being. Among them would be needs such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, and healthy relationships.
Every day we attend to our primary needs—those things necessary merely to sustain our existence. In many cases we do this without even thinking about it. You don’t have to remind yourself to breathe, you just breathe. You have made a habit of breathing. You do it now by instinct. Similarly, you eat and drink several times a day. You probably don’t have to think too much about it. Eating and drinking have also become a habit for you. You are in the habit of surviving. You take care of your primary needs, because you have to.
On the other hand, we often neglect our secondary needs, either because we are too busy or too lazy or we simply don’t consider them urgent.
The question is, are you satisfied being in the habit of surviving, or are you ready to get into the habit of thriving?
For a moment, think about each of the four areas: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Which are you thriving in and which are you just surviving in?
Our secondary needs are the key to thriving. They may not seem urgent in light of the 105 things you have on your to-do list today, but they are probably more important than anything on that list.
The first step in our quest to become the-best-version-of-ourselves is to define our legitimate needs. The second step is to create a lifestyle that fulfills those legitimate needs.
We all have legitimate needs. The fulfillment of these needs is one of the very practical ways we can learn to embrace our essential purpose. If we are wise enough to seek their counsel, our legitimate needs will advise us what is necessary to maintain health of body, heart, mind, and spirit.”
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What Dream Are You Chasing?
How the FEW Achieve Their Dreams: The Difference - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Itzhak Perlman is one of the finest violinists alive today. Several years ago, Perlman agreed to attend a charity reception after one of his concerts in Vienna. Tickets for the champagne reception were sold for the equivalent of five hundred American dollars per guest.
At the reception, while the guests mingled, Itzhak Perlman stood in a roped-off area flanked by security guards. One by one the guests were led into the roped-off area and introduced to Perlman. As one man entered the roped-off area, he stretched out his hand, shook hands with the violinist, and said, “Mr. Perlman, you were phenomenal tonight. Absolutely amazing.” Perlman smiled and thanked the man graciously for the compliment. The man continued, “All my life I have had a great love of the violin, and I have heard every great living violinist, but I have never heard anyone play the violin as brilliantly as you did tonight.” Perlman smiled again but said nothing, and the man continued, “You know, Mr. Perlman, I would give my whole life to be able to play the violin like you did tonight.”
Perlman smiled once more and said, “I have.”
That is the difference. While some of us are sitting around letting the sand in the hourglass of life empty, thinking, I would give my whole life to be able to do that, or, I hope that happens to me one day, people like Itzhak Perlman are doing it. They are giving their whole lives to the magnificent and meaningful pursuit of their dreams.
I have noticed that all men and women have dreams. I have noticed that some people achieve their dreams, and for others they seem always out of reach. Why is this? Does God have favorites? I don’t think so. The reason is that some people dream and wait for their dreams to come true. Theirs is a vain type of dreaming. They look at others, whom they consider fortunate or lucky, and they think, I hope that happens to me one day! Other people listen to the movements of their hearts and dream their dreams by listening to the gentle voice within. They commit themselves to excellence, and armed with their dreams as a blueprint for their lives, they go out onto the stage of life chasing their rainbow, living life passionately. Aided by a mysterious and miraculous power that I can de- scribe only as the grace of God, they make their dreams come true.
Life is too short to be lived halfheartedly and far too short to lose yourself in the day-to-day drudgery and the hustle and bustle. Dedicate yourself to the things that are worthy of your dedication.”
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Is Your Soul Hungry?
Do You Know Your Spiritual Desires? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Do you know your spiritual desires? They lie hidden from superficiality and frivolity in the deepest recesses of the human heart. Our spiritual desires in some ways are the subtlest of all, yet they reveal the greatest of our legitimate needs.
Perceiving and responding to our spiritual desires is the most essential aspect of personal development. The yearnings of the senses call out to us with unerring consistency and draw attention to the needs and wants of our bodies, but our spiritual desires lie at the bottom of the deep, still waters of our being.
The deepest desire of our hearts is not to do something or to have something, but rather for peace. We yearn endlessly for peace. We long for the peace of knowing that who we are, where we are, and what we are doing is essentially good. We need to know that we are contributing to the happiness of others and that, however slowly, we are progressing toward becoming the-best-version-of-ourselves. This is the prescription for peace.
The needs that correspond with our desire for peace are silence, simplicity, and solitude.
Do you ever feel you just need a little time to yourself? Do you find yourself questioning the way you are living your life? Do you have questions about what is best for you now? Do you feel overloaded or overwhelmed?
All of these are signs that you need a little silence, solitude, and simplicity. These feelings and questions are our spiritual desires trying desperately to be heard.
Depending on our situation in life, some of these will be easier to meet than others. A mother with young children may find it very difficult to find silence, solitude, and simplicity. We must remember that we are not talking about the constant silence, solitude, and simplicity of a monk. What we need and desire are small pockets of silence and solitude and a general structure of simplicity.
It is also critically important that we treasure the time we do have to be alone. If we respond to our need for solitude by going shopping by ourselves, our need for solitude may be partially satisfied, but the distractions of music, other people, and the host of desires that will arise from “the mall experience” will prevent us from drinking from the well of solitude.
In order to achieve the soul-searching that we desire and legitimately need, it is important to find a quiet place to be alone. Only in that silence and solitude are we able to remember that we already know the things that will bring us lasting happiness.
It would be lovely if our souls growled every time they were hungry, the way our stomachs do. But they don’t. The voice of the hungry soul is confusion, questions that won’t leave us alone, and a general sense of being overwhelmed. Is your soul hungry?”
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The Voice of Happiness
Are You LISTENING to the Gentle Voice Within? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“There is a gentle voice within each of us.
When we are children, we hear this voice with great clarity and we live by what we hear. So we are immensely happy.
As we grow older, we become aware of all the other voices that surround us—the voices of parents, siblings, friends, critics, television, strangers, and experts.
All these other voices have the strength and confidence of experience, so we become fascinated with them. And as we enter into this fascination with all these other voices, they begin to distract us from the gentle voice within.
As we begin to listen to all these other voices, we begin to doubt, question, and ignore the gentle voice within. And gradually, the one true voice within each of us grows fainter and fainter. Finally, when the gentle voice within us has become so faint that we can hardly hear it anymore in the midst of our daily activity, we are told that we have grown up, that we are adults, and that we are now ready for life.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
The gentle voice within is your truest guide. It has absolutely no self-interest. That is what sets it apart from every other voice in your life. The gentle voice within you is interested in only one thing, helping you become the-best-version-of-yourself.
Whether you call it your “conscience” or give it some other name, we all have this gentle voice within us. It is our true self, directing us toward our essential purpose. It is the-best-version-of- ourselves talking to us.
Take a moment to think about it. When was the last time you obeyed that gentle voice within you and it made you miserable? When was the last time the gentle voice within led you to become a-lesser-version-of-yourself? It may lead you to the pain of discipline and self-sacrifice, but always in the quest to help you embrace more fully the-best-version-of-yourself.
It is only when we ignore the gentle voice within that we find ourselves in places of misery and quiet desperation.
What we are called to do above all else is to learn once again to listen to the gentle voice within us. Only then will we have the peace that we all seek, but that only a rare few ever find.”
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Are You Living Your Best Life?
Don’t WASTE Your One Short Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“When I was twelve years old, I used to sing in the school choir, and often we would sing at funerals. Whether or not I knew the person who had died, funerals have always had a deep impact on my life. Every time I go to a funeral, or hear that someone I know has died, I always become more determined not to waste my life, not to take life for granted.
Every now and then I like to take a walk in a cemetery. Each tombstone tells a story. Some of the people were laid to rest last year, others a hundred years ago. Some of them lived for ninety-five years, others for twenty-five years. But I can hear all of them calling out to me in unison, sharing with me a message: “Life is short. Do not waste your life. Live life passionately.”
Somewhere deep within you there is a desire to dedicate yourself to becoming the-best-version-of-yourself. I hope you feel that desire stirring within you. Foster that desire. Nurture that desire. Adopt habits that help you rekindle that desire. Let that desire lead you.
Life is short and we are dead an awful long time. Don’t waste your one short life.”
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Who Are You Becoming?
How Our Culture STEALS Meaning from Our Lives - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Our modern culture proclaims with all its force: What you do and what you have are the most important things. This is a lie. It is a deception that has led whole generations down the well-trodden path toward lives of quiet desperation. But it is a lie that is reinforced with such regularity that millions have grown to believe it, at least subconsciously, and have shaped their lives around it.
Two of the most common tools of social judgment are the assessment of what make and model of car you drive and the question “What do you do?”
The whole focus of our culture is on doing and having. I get on the plane, and nine out of ten times, the person next to me will ask me, “What do you do?” We ask young children, “What are you going to do when you grow up?” and seniors in high school, “What are you going to do in college?” and college graduates, “What are you going to do now that you have finished your studies?” We live in a task-oriented culture. But this task-oriented approach completely ignores our need to connect the activities of our daily lives with our essential purpose.
Doing and having are natural, normal, and necessary aspects of our daily lives; the challenge is to do and have in accord with our essential purpose.
In this task-oriented culture, one of the real dangers is to slip into an episodic mode of living. What I mean is, the happenings of our day-to-day lives can become episodic, one after another, like the episodes of a soap opera. In a soap opera, there is always something happening, but nothing ever really happens. In every episode there is drama—activity takes place, words are muttered, but nothing really happens. People abusing one another, people using one another, people talking about one another, people plot- ting and scheming, but nothing meaningful ever happens. Their lives are filled with superficialities, and they are constantly restless and miserable. There is no theme, no thread—just another entertaining episode.
When the days and weeks of our lives become like this, we grow depressed, disillusioned, and miserably unhappy. The reason is that without a clear sense of the purpose and meaning of our lives, the emptiness is overwhelming. We try to fill the void with pleasure and possessions, but the emptiness is unaffected by such trivialities. There are moments of pleasure, but they are brief in a long succession of twenty-four-hour days.
Who you become is infinitely more important than what you do or have. In fact, what you do and have only have value to the extent that they help you become all you were created to be.”
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Rediscover the Meaning of Life
Rediscover the Meaning of YOUR Life: 5 Ageless Questions! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“For thousands of years, men and women of every age, race, and culture have sought to understand the meaning of life. The people of our own time are no different.
Throughout history, scientists and philosophers, theologians and artists, politicians and social activists, monks and sages, and men and women from all walks of life have discussed and debated many questions in the quest to discover the meaning of life. And while their discussions have been many and varied, to my mind all of humanity’s searching for knowledge and answers can be arranged under five headings, each of them a question.
These are the five questions that humanity has been asking consciously and subconsciously ever since human life first existed. Although we may be unable to articulate them, you and I are constantly asking these questions. Whether we are aware of it or not, our whole existence is a searching to answer these five questions. We seek the answers to these questions directly and indirectly every day of our lives. And how we answer these questions determines the shape, form, and direction that our lives take on. These are the five questions that humanity longs to answer:
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Who am I?
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Where did I come from?
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What am I here for?
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How do I do it?
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Where am I going?
All religious texts are centered upon and seek to illumine the five questions—including the sacred writings of Israel and the Christian scriptures. The five questions also form the major themes in the writings of Confucius and Homer, Shakespeare, Plato, and Aristotle, Dostoyevsky and Aldous Huxley, Ernest Hemingway, C. S. Lewis, and Henry David Thoreau. They are the questions that testify to humanity’s age-old search for the meaning and purpose of life. They are the questions that hungry hearts place at the center of their lives.
The second question, “Where did I come from?” introduces us to the ideas of creation and life. Within the fifth question, “Where am I going?,” we become intimate with the realities of time, death, and eternity. Most religious traditions answer the second and the last question with “God,” but the ideas that these questions unveil are complex. And though now is not the time, and this particular book is not the place, the second and the fifth questions deserve serious study and thought in their own right.
Questions three and four, “What am I here for?” and “How do I do it?,” give birth to the mysteries of love, joy, misery, happiness, suffering, fulfillment, discontent, and, especially, the never ceasing struggle we witness and experience between good and evil. We live our everyday lives in the realms of questions three and four. And owing to their practical implications, we usually become fascinated and preoccupied with these questions. But in order to answer these questions, “What am I here for?” and “How do I do it?,” it is imperative that we give serious thought and reflection to question one: “Who am I?”
Philosophically, this may all be very sound. Practically, however, the process of answering these five questions and conforming our lives to the answers we find is very difficult.
Each of us seeks to answer these questions in our own way. Experience is an excellent, though sometimes brutal, teacher. Yet at the same time, it is only the ignorance of youth that believes experience is the only teacher. As we grow wiser, we realize that life is too short to learn all of its lessons from personal experience, and we discover that other people, places, and times are all too willing to pass on the hard-earned wisdom of their experiences.
But where should we begin?
Is Life Really Getting Better?
DON’T Live a Life of Quiet Desperation! - Matthew Kelly
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Elevate Your Life This Summer!
5 Ways To ELEVATE Your Life This Summer - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Spring is here and summer is right around the corner, and I love summer. So, I have been thinking about how I would like to improve my life this summer. I have come up with five things. I am not suggesting these be your five, but I want to encourage you to come up with your own five.
Here are five ways I am going to strive to improve this summer:
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Eat Healthier. More fruits and vegetables.
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Move. Get up and get out and move around… walk swim, run, jump, dance.
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Get to Bed Earlier. We all know how important sleep is to our physical, emotional, and spiritual health… but we are quick to neglect it.
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Check email less. One distraction upon another is preventing me from giving my best energy to the things that matter most.
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Connect with old friends. It’s been too long. I am going to seek out a couple of old friends this summer.
What 5 things will you do to improve your life this summer. Not sure what to focus on? Remember, our lives only really improve when we improve as human beings. So, once you make your list ask yourself: Will each of these help me become a-better-version-of-myself?”
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1 Reason You Are UNHAPPY: The Happiness Paradox - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“There are four aspects to the human person: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.
Physically, when you exercise regularly, sleep regularly, eat the right sorts of foods, and balance your diet, how do you feel? You feel fantastic. You feel more fully alive. You’re healthier, happier, and you have a richer, more abundant experience of life.
Emotionally, when you give focus and priority to your relationships, what happens? You switch the focus off yourself and onto others. As you do, your ability to love increases... and as your ability to love increases, your ability to be loved increases. You become more aware of yourself, develop a more balanced view of life, and experience a deeper sense of fulfillment. You’re healthier and you’re happier.
Intellectually, when you take ten or fifteen minutes a day to read a good book, what happens? Your vision of yourself expands; your vision of the world expands. You become more focused, more alert, and more vibrant. Clarity replaces confusion. You feel more fully alive, and you are happier.
Finally, spiritually, when you take a few moments each day to step into the classroom of silence and reconnect with yourself and with your God, what happens? The gentle voice within grows stronger, and you develop a deeper sense of peace, purpose, and direction. You’re healthier, you’re happier, and you have a richer experience of life.
Physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually, we know the things that infuse our lives with passion and enthusiasm. We know the things that make us happy. We just don’t do them.
It doesn’t make sense, does it?
On the one hand, we all want to be happy. On the other hand, we all know the things that make us happy. But we don’t do those things. Why? Simple. We are too busy. Too busy doing what? Too busy trying to be happy.
This is the paradox of happiness that has bewitched our age.
Perhaps it is time to slow down. Maybe a better future involves less rather than more.”
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How to Change Your Situation: Life Is Choices - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Life is choices. This is a great truth and a hard lesson. It is a great truth because it reminds us of our power. Not power over others, but the often untapped power to be ourselves and to live the life we have imagined.
It is a hard lesson, because it causes us to realize that we have chosen the life we are living right now. It is perhaps frightening for us to think that we have chosen to live our life as it is today. Frightening because we may not like what we find when we look at our lives today. But it is also liberating, because we can now begin to choose what we will find when we look at our life in the tomorrows that lie unlived before us.
What will you see when you look at your life ten years from now? What will you choose? Life is choices.
You have chosen to live this day. You have chosen to watch this video. You have chosen to live in a certain city. You have chosen to believe certain ideas. You have chosen the people you call friends.
You choose the food you eat, the clothes you wear, and the thoughts you think. You choose to be calm or restless, you choose to feel appreciative or ungrateful. Love is a choice. Anger is a choice. Fear is a choice. Courage is a choice. You choose.
Sometimes we choose the-best-version-of-ourselves, and some- times we choose a-second-rate-version-of-ourselves.
Learn to master the moment of decision and you will live a life uncommon.
Life is choices. Most people never fully accept this truth. They spend their lives arguing for their weaknesses, complaining about their lot in life, or blaming other people.
We choose, and in doing so, we design our lives.”
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Leading Success Indicator in EVERYTHING: Impulse Control - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“In 1972, researchers at Stanford university conducted a study that has become famously known as the Marshmallow Test. Children were offered a reward, a treat of the child’s choosing, which was placed on the desk in front of them. But they were also offered the option of receiving two rewards if they waited to consume the treat until the researchers retuned 15 minutes later.
Since that time, hundreds of similar studies have been conducted, some over long periods of time, and have determined that impulse control has an enormous impact on the quality of a person’s life.
People with the ability to control their impulses are more independent, have more friends, make better choices, perform better in school, exercise more regularly, have more success professionally, are significantly less likely to participate in dangerous and self-destructive risky behavior, develop broader vocabularies, have happier and longer primary relationships, feel more confident and have higher levels of self-esteem.
What exactly is impulse control? The ability to control the desire for immediate gratification.
So, how would you rate your own impulse control? Are you an impulsive person? Are you becoming more impulsive? Is impulsivity a problem for you?
There are very few people in our society who are not experiencing increasing levels of impulsivity and all the soul-destroying consequences that flow from it. What is impulsivity? Impulsivity is rapid, unplanned, reactions to internal or external stimuli, with diminished regard for the negative consequences for yourself or others.
What is causing this rise of impulsivity in our culture? The culprit is in your pocket or purse. The smartphones that are making us dumb are driving impulsivity through the roof.
Impulse control and the ability to delay gratification are essential ingredients if we want to flourish and live life to the fullest. Your phone is robbing you of your impulse control. If you think that’s not true, try to ignore it when it rings, beeps, vibrates, sends a notification, or any of the many other things it does to distract you from what you are actually doing.
Ignore your phone at least once a day. This habit alone will increase your impulse control, and everything improves as our impulse control grows.”
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Guilt Is Good?
Why It’s GOOD To Feel Guilt - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Guilt is good. I am not saying we should go looking for it or try to increase the amount of guilt in our lives, but the natural emergence of guilt within us has a purpose… and is good for us.
When you do something that you know is morally or ethically wrong, guilt is a good thing. It is the-best-version-of-yourself encouraging you to return to the right path. If you didn’t feel guilty in these situations it would be a sign of moral bankruptcy or sociopathic behavior.
No surprise that moral bankruptcy and sociopathic behavior are on the rise in a culture that encourages people to do whatever they want to do and celebrates moral relativism and situational ethics at every turn.
It is also interesting to note that more and more people describe themselves as feeling stuck in our culture. When we are not in touch with appropriate guilt, we do not receive the corrective direction we need to set life back on the right track. Without this corrective direction we remain stuck.
Sadly, when we remove something that has a very specific purpose from our lives it is usually replaced by a destructive imitation of that good and purposeful thing. In the case of guilt, we have replaced it with shame.
Shame is a useless emotion, because it feeds off itself and relishes itself. One thing above all else will prevent you from getting unstuck: shame. Beware shame. Enduring shame is like falling in love with being stuck.
Stuck is often the result of shame when what we should be processing is a little bit of healthy course-correcting guilt.
It is good to feel guilt when we do something wrong, because that guilt is simply trying to get us back on the life-giving right path. Guilt is good for us. Not endlessly or all the time, but guilt serves a purpose in our journey and it is a mistake to try and avoid it at all costs… because those costs ultimately lead to loss of self.”
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The Dream Manager
Another Success Story: How The Dream Manager Transformed This Business - Matthew Kelly
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Do You Love Your Life?
Do Something To Fall in Love With Life Again - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Do you love your life? Take some time to think about that today. Resist the temptation to rush to judgement. Sit with the question, really sit with it.
If the answer is yes, great, but test your answer. What is it that you love about your life? Is it your family and friends, things you have done or adventures you are looking forward to, lessons you have learned and people who helped you learn them? Perhaps it is the sheer gift of life itself? Or the Giver of the gift?
If you sit with the question and come to the conclusion that you don’t love your life, that’s okay. Coming to that realization sooner rather than later is highly preferable. Now, the question becomes, what are you going to do about it?
Plenty of people wake up one day and realize they don’t love their lives. Few do something about it. Decide right now to be one of the few.
Do something today to fall in love with life again.”
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Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
Six Self-Sabotaging Behaviors (and How To Fix Them) - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We can all be our own worst enemies from time to time. We all find unique ways to sabotage our own happiness and success. Let’s take a look at six ways you may be sabotaging yourself and what you an do about them.
1. You Have Stopped Dreaming. Your dreams are yours for a reason. When we stop dreaming, we become disengaged from every aspect of life, we lose our enthusiasm, and we start dying a little bit each day.
2. Negative Self-Talk. How you talk to yourself has more impact on your life than how anyone else talks to you. But you may have picked up negative self-talk from the way your parents, siblings, or friends talked to you when you were young. So you might have been carrying around a bunch of HeadTrash or many years. It’s time to take out the trash and learn how to speak to yourself in a healthy way.
3. The Victim Mentality. Blaming others and our circumstances are excuses we all call on from time to time. Learning how to make the most of a negative situation is critical life-skill.
4. Lack of a Plan. Napoleon observed, “Those who fail to plan can plan to fail.” Without a plan we cannot reasonably expect our lives to improve.
5. Impulse Control. Our addiction to instant gratification has eroded our impulse control and this is essential to succeed in any area of life: relationships, career, personal finances, health and wellness, spirituality, parenting…
6. Focusing on the Past. You are more than what has happened to you. You are more than the worst thing you have ever done. Do not let your past determine your future. It is time to chart a new path.
These are six ways we all sabotage ourselves from time to time. The number one reason we don’t get beyond self-sabotage is because we don’t have the encouragement and accountability that are critical.
Today I want to invite you to invest in yourself by collaborating with one of our amazing life coaches.
Your coach will help you to put together a plan for your bigger, better future. Your coach will help you defeat these self-sabotaging behaviors. And your coach will help you to start achieving your dreams again!
Your dreams are your dreams for a reason… click here to learn more about our life-changing coaching experiences. And remember, don’t just be yourself, be the-best-version-of-yourself!”
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What Is Wisdom?
The Secret to Growing in Wisdom - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“What is wisdom? Well, it’s more than just common sense. There are many ways wisdom can manifest in our lives. One is through sound judgment and good decisions. Wisdom can also manifest through profound spiritual insight. But one of the most powerful ways wisdom manifests in our lives is through desire.
It is great everyday wisdom to want what is good for you. You may say, “I don’t always know what is good for me.” That’s okay. In fact, that’s one of the amazing things about wisdom. Just desiring wisdom is wise. So, even if you don’t know what is good for you, just the desire to know what is good for you is wisdom… and a great prayer.
The problem we encounter is our desire for things that aren’t good for us.
Our lower instincts are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. But sometimes pleasure is the worst thing for us, and pain is just what we need. That’s why our higher faculties, such as our will and intellect, are able to move beyond our instincts and choose what is true, good, just, and right.
Wisdom is wanting the right things. And the right things are those that help you become more fully alive and fully human, the things that help you love God and neighbor, and the things that help you become the-very-best-version-of-yourself!”
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Do Not Worry
When the Problems of the World Overwhelm You… - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The world is a mess… again. The news each day brings news of war and famine, destruction and dehumanization, people behaving like animals and people being treated like animals. All of this can lead us to experience stress, anxiety, depression, and a general feeling of being overwhelmed.
The problems of the world are a summons to reassess the way we are living our lives and an invitation to participate in the much-needed situations.
Feeling overwhelmed makes us feel helpless, but we are not helpless. None of us. Ever. There is always something we can do to improve our situation and the situation of others. It may seem small, but even small efforts radically alter our psychological, emotional, and spiritual health.
When the problems of the world overwhelm you do something besides worry.”
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13 Things Money Can’t Buy - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Is your life focused on the things you can buy with money or the things you can’t buy with money? Here are 13 things that money can’t buy that are worth more than all the things that money can buy.
1. Meaningful work. 2. Character. 3. Wisdom. 4. Self-esteem. 5. Friendship. 6. Inner-peace. 7. Health. 8. Love. 9. Respect. 10. A clear conscience. 11. Loyalty. 12. Happiness. 13. Another chance at a lost opportunity.
Whether you are earning money, spending money, saving money, investing money, or giving generously with money, it helps to remember, that while we need money to survive in this world, the things that make us thrive cannot be bought with money.”
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Facebook Hates GOD! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Does Facebook hate God? It’s a good question.
They may never say it outright, but, as Jesus says in Matthew’s Gospel (7:17), “The bad tree bears evil fruit,” and the fruit of Facebook is rotten to the core.
Earlier this year, Facebook, recently re-branded as Meta, removed thousands of options available to advertisers to reach audiences based on many categories, with religion being one of the most affected.
What’s actually being restricted?
In Facebook’s own words, advertisers will no longer be able to reach audiences based on, and I quote, “targeting options referencing causes, organizations, or public figures that relate to health, race or ethnicity, political affiliation, religion, or sexual orientation.”
What does this mean? On a practical level, it means your church won’t be able to advertise its summer picnic to believers in your area. It means Christian authors and speakers can’t promote their books or events with other Christians!
Add to that the fact that Facebook’s algorithm deprioritizes religious content and the platform has a history of banning religious leaders. So, with all this in mind, I don’t think it’s a bold claim to say that Facebook hates God.
Under the guise of inclusivity, Facebook is targeting Christians and people of all faiths, creating barriers to community and making it harder than ever to share our faith with others.
Meanwhile, they are making it easier than ever to spread every type of deplorable and deviant message under the sun.
What is lost on many people, is that our post-modern secular culture consistently lumps God and religion in with other categories like politics, race, and sexual orientation. By doing so, they promote the idea that God and religion are not significant or special, they are some among many.
We live in a world increasingly run by algorithms, and those algorithms are not only atheist, they are intent on persecuting Christians.”
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The 6 BIGGEST Decisions in Life
What To Do if Your Life Isn’t Working - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Every day we make dozens of decisions and choices. Many of them we make unconsciously. They all have consequences. They have intended consequences and unintended consequences, and we have to live with both.
These smaller choices and decisions prepare us or prevent us from making life’s biggest choices in a way that is life-giving for everyone involved.
For decades researchers have been exploring what people consider to be the biggest decisions of life. From generation to generation there can be some jockeying for top position, but what is on the list is not surprisingly consistent from one generation to another.
Today, these are considered life’s six biggest decisions:
- Having children
- Getting married
- Buying a home
- Where to go to college and what to study
- Moving cities
- Changing career later in life
Others that make the longer list include:
When to retire; whether or not to end a relationship; choosing to spend or save; quitting a job; getting a pet; setting boundaries with toxic family members and friends; standing up for yourself; putting an elderly relative in a care home; and, whether or not to accept a promotion.
These are all important decisions. They can each be difficult in their owns ways. And yet together they paint a picture that is worth reflecting upon. There seems to be something missing. The bigger things. The deeper things. These may be the “what” but where is the “why.”
In many ways, these things, some of them profoundly important, seem to have been reduced to a list of personal preferences. And as a result, decision making seems to have been reduced to an exercise of personal preference selection.
The larger perspective seems to be missing. Who are we? What are we here on earth for? What matters most? What matters least? How is the best way to spend our short lives?
And most of all, who or what are we going to place at the center of our lives? For this alone will determine almost everything else. This alone will drive our decisions, large and small.
So, the best place to start is by asking the question: Who or what is at the center of your life? Career, money, things, self, God, children, spouse, friends, expectations?
If your life isn’t working, change what is at the center of it.”
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Are You Making Progress?
UNLEASH the Power of Progress in Your Life! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“One of the most important questions to ask yourself in any arena of life is: Are You Making Progress?
When we are making progress, even if that progress is small or slight, we sense that things are moving in the right direction, that we have momentum on our side, and this sparks energy, enthusiasm, positivity, creativity, and so much more.
So, are you making progress? What matters most to you right now and is it moving in the right direction? It may be a relationship, your career, your physical well-being, your marriage, your spirituality, a problem you are trying to solve, your family, healing from a trauma, or recovering from an addiction. Whatever it is, are you making progress?
If you are, great! Acknowledge that. Celebrate that. Enjoy that.
If you are not, awareness is the pivot point! Now that you know you are not making progress, ask yourself: What is the smallest adjustment I can make to stimulate progress and get things moving in the right direction again?
Big changes overwhelm us and can paralyze us into inaction. Small adjustments are the key to getting things moving in the right direction again.”
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Are You Building Sandcastles?
The Problem With Building Sandcastles - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We took a family vacation to the beach a couple of weeks ago and I learned a very powerful lesson from my children… again.
Each day they would go down to the beach and start building a sandcastle. One was better than the next, every day they got bigger and better. But each afternoon as the tide came back in, all their work was destroyed.
As they were building their sandcastles, they would often get frustrated or upset at their littlest brother who took absolute delight in standing on top of one of the walls and watching it come crashing down. This infuriated the other kids, but Simon just squealed with delight.
And I was taught a lesson on that very same beach last year, and the year before that.
We are all building sandcastles. We are all investing inordinate amounts of time, effort, energy, money, and emotion into things that are just like those sandcastles. They will inevitably be destroyed and pass away.
Now on one level there is nothing wrong with that, especially if we get as much joy as children do from building castles in the sand at the beach. The problem is we don’t. Often, we skip right over the joy and live in the frustration of trying to keep something alive that cannot be kept alive because it is by its very nature passing.
The real problem is that we often spend our lives building sandcastles, while neglecting to build all that is good and lasting in this world and the next.
Are you too focused on building sandcastles?
Sandcastles are great, unless that’s all you are doing with your life.”
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Get PASSIONATE About Being Human Again! Your First Vocation - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The term vocation is most often used to refer to a calling from God to dedicate our lives to some specific state of life. In the conversation about vocations, we often lose sight of some very important points.
Your first vocation is to be a human being. This is, was, and will always be the first call upon your life. And your ability to fulfill and enjoy every other vocation depends on how fully you embrace the call to flourish as a human being.
A mother, for example, if not first a mother or a wife, but a human being. Beautifully individual and wonderfully unique, her commitment to become more fully herself each day is what animates her other roles, vocations, and relationships.
Yes, I said vocations, plural. I didn’t misspeak.
This mother has a vocation to be a human being, a vocation to marriage, and within that vocation may have a vocation to motherhood. Then one day one of her children may have a child and she will become a grandmother. This isn’t just a joyful occasion and a new stage of life. Being a grandparent is a vocation. It is a call within a call.
But all this rests on our passion for being fully alive and fully human! Our first vocation is to be human beings. It’s an easy thing to forget.”
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Nature or Nurture? Neither!
Is the Nature Vs. Nurture Debate ALL WRONG? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The nature versus nurture debate has been raging for decades now, but it seems to be reaching a fever pitch in our culture right now.
Nature is what we think of us, our genetic inheritance, pre-wiring, and other biological factors. Nurture is the influence of external factors, for example, life experiences, parenting, education, and social settings.
Most people agree that some things are determined by nature, other by nurture, and most by a combination of both. But there are some things that people aggressively disagree with when the question is raised.
Whenever there is a disagreement, in anything, it’s important to establish definitions, so everyone is clear on what we are actually talking about. The next thing is to examine the question itself. Is the question itself sound?
Most people accept the assumptions of the questions. When my daughter Isabel was little, I used to ask her, “Are you a monkey or a turtle?” She would choose whichever she preferred that day. She was given two options and felt she had to choose one or the other. Later she would ask me to do something, and I would say, “Oh, monkeys don’t do that.” She would explain that she wasn’t a monkey, and I would remind her that she told me she was a monkey.
I did this with all my children, still do with more complex questions today. As little ones they caught on and learned to reject the premise of the question. Eventually when I asked Isabel if she was a monkey or a turtle she would say, “I’m a little girl.”
I was trying to teach them not to accept the premise of the question. We make this mistake all the time as a whole society, and we do it on huge questions. The nature or nurture question is a perfect example.
The construct of questions like these locks our attention on the options before us and can prevent us from seeing other options.
All that to say, there is a problem with the nature or nurture question. It is based on a false assumption and is therefore an unsound question which will almost always produce an incomplete or erroneous answer.
What’s the problem? The question ignores choice. Choice is a huge influencer in our lives. Some things are determined or influenced by nature, others are determined or influenced by nurture, but almost everything is influenced by choice.
Our ability to choose is an incredibly significant factor in almost everything. To exclude it from the nature versus nurture question is an egregious error. Unless of course it is done on purpose, and in many cases I believe it is.”
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Best Vacation Ever?!
The Secret To Having Your Best Vacation Ever! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The secret to having your best vacation ever is not finding the perfect beach, ideal ski-run, or amazing hotel.
In December each year, when I speak to the team about the year that has been and the year ahead, I take a couple of minutes and encourage them to plan half their vacation days for the following year as soon as possible.
The reason is simple: anticipation is more than 50% of the joy of a fantastic vacation.
In the midst of a cold dark February, with snow everywhere, it is easier to push through the daily challenges of life, both personal and professional, if you know you will be on vacation at the end of March.
As human beings, having something to look forward to is of vital importance. Anticipation, the excitement and expectation of something good in the future, is a beautiful thing. And it is free. All that is required is the wisdom to activate it. What are you looking forward to this year?
The secret to having your best vacation ever is anticipation. Plan it far in advance and each time life gets a little tough, turn your mind to the vacation you have planned and draw from that the strength you need to push through whatever is happening in your life right now.
Activate anticipation in your life. Not just around vacations, but around all good things you see in your future.”
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Has Your Child Been Kidnapped?
Would You Leave Your Child with a Serial Kidnapper? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Would you leave your child alone with a serial kidnapper? It sounds like a ridiculous question or the beginning of a really inappropriate joke, but it isn’t. It is real and tragic.
Talk to parents who gave their child a cellphone one year ago, regardless of the child’s age, and discuss how the parent’s relationship with that child has changed.
The irony is these devices are supposed to improve our relationships. Their primary purpose is, after all, communication. But I don’t know a single parent who would say giving their child a phone improved their relationship.
And then there are all the other problems that come with these devices…
Study after study now show they cause or contribute to… behavioral problems, stunting social and emotional development, and vast mental health consequences, tiredness, nervousness, absentmindedness, eyesight problems, insomnia, negative impact on neck and spine health, arthritis in the hands… to name just a few.
And the pros? One study named three. The first one was self-sufficiency, in particular it explained that having a phone helps children to self-regulate the amount of time they spend on these devices, creating healthy self-awareness and self-reflection. I don’t know too many parents who are seeing much of that. Their second pro was digital literacy. I don’t disagree with that, though they are going to pick this up in other ways in school and at home, so isn’t that like saying one of the pros of kids using drugs is that they learn how to use drugs? And finally, the third pro this extensive study found for giving children cell phones was access to emergency services. Again, that’s important, but if that’s the best we can come up with on the pro list, doesn’t that tell us something unto itself?
Now, let’s explore the real problem. Most parents have stopped listening because they would rather have someone poke pins in their eyes than deal with the wrath that would follow taking their child’s phone away.
I get that. It’s probably not going to happen.
But this is when we make two mental mistakes…
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We let what we can’t do interfere with what we can do. This is essentially all or nothing thinking.
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We close ourselves off from the truth that we can’t live or choose not to live. It requires intellectual honesty and humility to say something like, “I think my child might be better off if he/she didn’t have a phone” or “I can see now I should have waited longer to give my child a phone.”
Both of these types of thinking prevent us from improving our actual situation.
If you watch my videos regularly, you know I like to give you simple, practical steps. So, you may not be going to take your child’s smartphone away, but what can you do?
One clear suggestion: Designate one day a week as a no-phone day. If your responsibilities make it possible for you to participate that’s even better. Perhaps that seems impossible all around. If that’s the case, then perhaps you designate one evening a week.
What are we trying to accomplish? Let’s prove to ourselves and teach our children that we can live without these things. Let’s know that we can be free from them if we decide to.
You will get twitchy at first. They will get irritable, restless, and discontent in the beginning. All signs of addiction. Make it a point to spend more time with your children those days. Talk to them. Do this for three months, and after three months, observe how your relationships with your children are on the no-phone days.”
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Most Parents Are Not Prepared…
Four Questions EVERY Parent Needs to Answer - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Most parents don’t like to think about it, and they don’t like to talk about it. The problem with that is that they don’t have a plan. We all know we are going to die, but most people live as if they will live forever. 64% of Americans do not have a will. And the other thing is, we live as if we will die at a time that is natural, normal, and convenient, and that is never true.
For parents of minors this topic has specific implications, and that leads us to the Four Questions Every Parent Needs to Answer:
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Who will take care of your children? This is one of the most difficult questions you will face as a couple. You will probably never need to implement the answer you come up with, but simply having the conversation and coming to a decision will teach you so much about what you value individually and collectively.
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Who will make financial and medical decisions if you become seriously injured? Very few people think adequately about a plan for if they die, almost nobody thinks through a plan for if they are seriously incapacitated.
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Do you have a Last Will and Testament, and has it been appropriately updated recently? Nobody dies when they expect to die, and one of the last gifts we can leave those we love is to not leave them a mess by planning and leaving things in order.
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Do you have life insurance? Money isn’t everything, but ensuring your children’s financial security in the event you are not around to provide for them is critically important. These funds can be used to make sure they have the daily necessities of life, along with ensuring they get the education they need to launch them into life so they can follow their dreams and provide for themselves.
Most of the important things in life are never urgent. These questions fall into that category. There will be things every day for the rest of your life that you would rather do than tackle these questions. But if you take the time to explore these questions and come up with a plan, I think you will find that the exercise enriches your life in unimagined ways.”
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Comfortable LIES Vs. Uncomfortable TRUTHS: The Key to Real Happiness - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We usually experience various forms of discomfort when we lie. But if we tell a lie often enough those uncomfortable feelings tend to fade, and in time, we could become quite comfortable telling a lie.
And we usually think about lying in relation to the lies we tell others, but it may be that the most damaging lies are those we tell ourselves. Worse than that we use lies to comfort ourselves.
When was the last time you lied? Some of the most common lies in society today are: lying about why you were late; saying you are on your way when you haven’t left yet; telling others you are not drunk when you clearly are; saying you have done something you promised to do when you have not; lying about your age; telling others everything is okay when it isn’t; and, I never got your message.
We justify our little lies, but the truth is, the more we lie to others the more we are likely to lie to ourselves, and the more comfortable we get with lies the more delusional and dissatisfying our lives become.
Then we start telling ourselves lies to comfort ourselves. What are some examples? I could do that if I really wanted to… I’m just no good at that… I’m unlucky… I just don’t have time to… That’s just who I am… I will be happy when…
Beware the lies that comfort you.
Every day we choose between comforting lies and unpleasant truths. Real happiness begins with being brutally honest with yourself.”
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What Are Your Money Wounds?
We All Have Money WOUNDS: Take A Step Toward Money Health - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“One of the most volatile topics at every level of society is money. Everyone has their opinions about it, and we all seem to have blind spots when it comes to this topic. The reason is because we all have money wounds. The problem is most people don’t know they have money wounds. So, the first step toward health and healing is awareness of the wounds we carry around money.
Whether we have a lot of money or not at all, whether we grew up in poverty or in a wealthy family, we have all experienced money trauma. We have money shame and money blame, we have trust issues around money, we have money fears, and negative money self-talk, to name but a few of the symptoms of money trauma.
All of these impact the way we use or abuse money, the way we attract or repel money, and affect the health or dysfunction of our relationship with money.
If any of this sounds familiar, the best place to start is by taking an inventory of your attitudes toward money. Write down as many beliefs, thoughts, feelings you have about money as you can. Once you have this list, try to trace these attitudes back to situations in your life that gave birth to them.
Everybody has money wounds, which causes people to be a little weird about money in their own peculiar way. Knowing that we have our own money wounds helps us to be empathetic with others when their money wounds manifest.
Awareness is the first step toward money health.”
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Reduce Stress at Work!
The Pomodoro Technique: Make Work More ENJOYABLE - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“If you are looking for a way to increase your focus, get more done, and conquer procrastination, the Pomodoro Technique (or Method) may be a great place to start.
What is the Pomodoro Technique?
Identify the tasks that matter most today, get a timer, set it for 25 minutes, and focus on a single task until the timer rings. Enjoy a five-minute break and do it again.
Millions of people have found this simple time-management tool increases concentration and productivity, reduces stress, conquers procrastination, and makes work more enjoyable.
By switching between periods of focus and short breaks, both mental and physical fatigue are significantly less likely to grip us. But more importantly, this approach increases the enjoyment and satisfaction produced by even the most difficult tasks.
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Inflation Is NOT Just Economic: It KILLS Democracy - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“One of the most disturbing realities unfolding in our society at this very moment is rapidly rising inflation. Many are saying that there are much more important issues for us to focus on. They are wrong. Inflation is not just an economic issue. It isn’t about the price of gas at the pump, though the media dumbs it down to that single data point (and dumbs us down in the process).
Inflation kills democracy. It is not an economic issue.
Inflation was the primary factor in the decline and collapse of the Roman Empire. They decreased the silver content in their coins from 100% to 5% in order to repay debt. At the same time, they were increasing their non-productive debt. Non-productive debt is that which doesn’t add to the productive assets of a nation (or a person).
What is non-productive debt? In the case of a nation this would include financing war or unsustainable public spending. In the case of an individual this would include credit card debt. These types of debt are non-productive because they are not deployed in ways that add value to the economy and produce income to pay the interest on the debt.
The combination of non-productive debt and devaluing their currency by reducing the silver content ravaged the Roman Empire by creating inflation that saw prices rise 1000%.
The Great German Inflation between 1919-1923 played a significant role in the death of German democracy and the rise of Hitler and the Nazis. The cost of a loaf of bread rose 80,000%. Hitler’s central promise in his early days was simply “bread and jobs.” And we know what happened next.
Less than 15 years ago, Zimbabwe set staggering inflation records with percentages in the billions month-to-month in 2008.
Inflation is now a problem in the United States. This is an absolute statement of fact. Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you.
It has been a problem for many months, but the Federal Reserve only took action on it this month.
This is the analogy to keep in mind. We are chasing a train, travelling at 110mph that left the station 9 months ago. To catch that train and bring it under control is going to take some chasing.
Economic policy has been politicized and is now potentially being weaponized like never before.
Inflation isn’t the government’s problem. It isn’t the Federal Reserve’s problem. It is everyone’s problem. If you want to do a deep dive into one socio-political-historical issue this year, let it be inflation. The more people who know something about this topic in our culture at this time the more chance we have of combatting it.
And when you see news reports on inflation, don’t think about the price of gas at the pump, remember inflation kills democracy.”
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How to Get Unstuck
The 1% Rule: How to Get Unstuck - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The 1% Rule is the cure for feeling overwhelmed, it is the way to get unstuck, and it is the antidote for procrastination.
So, what is the 1% rule? Take any project, no matter how large, break off a portion that represents 1% of the project. When we procrastinate, feel overwhelmed, or get stuck, our minds are experiencing the enormity of what is before us (real or imagined). In order to move on we need to shift the mind’s perspective by placing before it something that seems manageable. The goal is to place before the mind something that allows it to say, “Huh, ok, that’s no big deal, I can do that.”
The power of the 1% rule is that it gets you started, it gets you moving in the right direction, and once you have momentum you will find yourself doing much more than just 1% in many cases.
So, next time you find yourself stuck, procrastinating, or overwhelmed, use the 1% rule to breakthrough.”
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4 Habits That Are Killing You Slowly
4 TOXIC Everyday Habits that Are KILLING You! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“If I told you there is a place near where you live that, if you went there, you would surely be killed, what would you do?
You wouldn’t go anywhere near it, would you? You probably wouldn’t go within ten blocks of it. You may even go miles out of your way to avoid getting close to that place.
But what if I told you that you do go there, multiple times a day? And rather than killing you all at once, you’re dying slowly over the course of many years?
What am I talking about? Bad habits. We all have them, and rather than running away from them and keeping them at a distance, we hold onto them and allow them to ruin our lives.
Here are 4 toxic, everyday habits that are killing you slowly:
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Getting too little sleep. You know how much sleep you need, but you scroll through social media, check your e-mail, or worry about things you can’t control instead.
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Drinking too little water. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. At best, dehydration causes low energy levels. At worst, it’s a factor in almost every sickness and disease.
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Holding onto negativity. Negativity, worrying too much, and taking things personally which were not meant to be personal all lead to high stress, which is a factor in six of the leading causes of death in America today.
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Always being busy. Will rushing about everywhere, always going to this party or that event kill you physically? Maybe not, but it will kill your soul. We need time to do nothing, to refresh, rejuvenate, and recharge our passion and energy for life.
Run away from the habits in your life that are killing you. Remove them from your life and never let them back in. And remember, don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Before Criticizing Your Spouse (in Front of Your Children) - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“We live in a hyper-critical society and so it is easy to become critical of the people around us and even the people we love. But, before you criticize your spouse in front of your children, consider this…
When you are critical of your spouse, your child takes it personally. Makes sense when you think about it because your child is half that person (in a sense). You came together with your spouse to participate in the process of procreation, and the result was your child. As children and adults, we see ourselves in our parents, to greater and lesser extents. We then transfer other people’s criticisms of our parents on to ourselves, especially someone as close and familiar as our other parent.
So, before you criticize your spouse in front of your children, ask yourself: Do I want my child to think this about themselves?”
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Did Your Parents Say This To You?
5 Things Parents Should Never Say - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Words have power. The words of a parent hold a special place in a child’s life. Children remember and reflect on what their parents say. Your child will keep hearing some of the things you say over and over again in their minds for the rest of their lives.
Here are five things parents should never say to their children:
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You’re okay. If your child is hurt or crying this confuses them. They know the reality they are experiencing, and you are essentially saying, what you are experiencing is not reality.
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We will never be able to afford that. This makes it sounds like your personal finances are outside your control and always will be. Explain that your financial priorities are for other things right now.
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You need to grow up. The job of a child is to be a child. They will grow up fast enough, and the world will push them to grow up faster than is healthy. Don’t rush the process. Let them enjoy being a child with all the joy and frustration that will bring you.
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Hurry up. This creates stress and anxiety in children. Find a way to make it a game so they get faster at whatever it is you are trying to accomplish.
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Everything will be okay. Every situation in life doesn’t have a happy ending. We all experience disappointments and setbacks. Our role as parents is to prepare our children for all of life, and that includes when things don’t turn out the way we would like.
What children do and say is interesting, why they do and say what they do is fascinating. Look beyond the what to the why.
These lists are supposed to be fun and helpful, but not definitive. More important than these actual examples are the reasons behind them, which can apply to many situations each day. This list is designed to engage us as parents and get us thinking. This moves us from unconscious parenting to intentional parenting.”
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Bits and Pieces of You (and Me): A BIG Mistake We Make in Relationships - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships, all relationships, not just those of the romantic variety, is that we try to pick and choose bits and pieces of people.
But people are whole, even when they seem wounded and broken, even when we seem like a hot mess, we are one whole. not a thousand bits and pieces, but one whole.
We destroy relationships and hurt people when we pick and choose. “I’ll have this, but not that,” is cruel and inhumane.
You are fragile and broken, wounded and wonderful. The question is, are we willing to be wounded and wonderful together. All the best relationships are grounded in that kind of spectacular mutual acceptance.”
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Are Religious People Stupid?
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Video Transcript:
“Have you ever heard someone say, “Religious people are stupid!” I’ve heard it many times, but someone said it in a conversation recently and I challenged myself to really think it through.
When we hear statements like this, our tendency is to either accept them as completely true or reject them as completely false.
In the case of the statement, “Religious people are stupid” people who oppose religion instantly accept it and religious people instantly reject. The problem with that is that we are just reacting based on bias, rather than thinking critically.
Are religious people stupid? No. Why am I so certain? Well, for one, the statement is a gross generalization, there are billions of people on the planet who fall into this category, and at the very least generalizations are never completely true.
Some people would be satisfied at this and return to the comfortable place in their mind, assured that religious people are not stupid.
But let’s go a little further.
Why? Because the further we go, the more compete our answer, the greater confidence we can have in our conclusions.
So, I asked myself two questions: Why do some people believe religious people are stupid? and Do religious people behave stupidly sometimes?
The main reason non-religious people believe religious people are stupid is found in their accusation that religious people are “narrow-minded.” But then I asked myself another question: How to non-religious people experience religious people’s so-called narrow-mindedness? Is it in rigorous discussion of important topics? I don’t think so. It’s through judgement, sometimes real and sometimes imagined.
The definition of stupid is “showing lack of intelligence or common sense.” So, this is the question that emerges: Is it stupid to be judgmental?
Jesus was clear in Matthew 7:1 when he said simply, “Do not judge.” He repeated this teaching many times throughout his public life.
I think a fairly good case could be made that judging other people shows a lack of intelligence and a lack of common sense.
But why did Jesus counsel us not to judge? Many reasons, but let’s look at a three. First, because it is unreasonable to ask someone to do something they are incapable of doing. It’s like asking a three-year-old to teach a post-graduate course on bio-ethics. When we judge other people we are pretending to be God, but we are eminently unqualified.
Next, because judging others interferes with healthy human relations (something God is intensely interested in). And finally, because judging other people poisons our hearts and complicates our souls.
All these lead to chaos and confusion and God prefers order and clarity.
But here is the big revelation I discovered in my recent exploration of this topic: Judgement makes empathy impossible.
What is empathy? It’s the ability to emotional understand what other people are experiencing and feeling. It’s the ability to see things from another person’s perspective. It’s the ability to imagine yourself in their situation. Or… and this is a big one… the awareness that for whatever reason you are unable to relate or connect or imagine what it feels like to be that person.
Empathy is so central to human relationships that God rigorously steers us away from anything that impedes it, and judgement seems to be at the top of that list.
Judgement makes empathy impossible.
I don’t know for sure if it is stupid to judge others, but I do know that empathy is a beautiful expression of emotional genius that we are all capable of and that we should all continue to develop.
Are religious people stupid? No. But
11 Signs You are an Empathetic Person - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Empathy is a sign that you care about other people, that the well-being and happiness of other people matters to you. It’s all about being able to tune into other people’s feelings and emotions.
Here are 11 Signs You are an Empathetic Person:
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You are a good listener.
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You have a keen sense of how other people are feeling.
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You care deeply about other people.
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You go out of your way to help others who are suffering.
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People are comfortable opening up to you and sharing their problems.
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Tragic events, even those that you are not directly involved in, stir a sadness in your soul and can even feel overwhelming.
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Social situations sometimes drain or overwhelm you.
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You consider what feelings your words and actions will provoke in others.
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You struggle to set and maintain boundaries in relationships with other people.
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You sense when people are being dishonest.
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Other people seek you out for advice.
Empathy is a sign of high emotional intelligence. In our quest to become the-best-version-of-ourselves empathy is an indispensable tool.
Have a great day, and remember don’t just be yourself, be the best version of yourself!”
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8 Signs of a Happy Relationship
8 Signs of a Healthy and Happy Relationship - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Have you ever seen or been a part of a terrible relationship?
Fighting all the time over meaningless issues, each person blaming the other when something goes wrong, and taking all the credit when something goes right are just a few hallmarks of such toxic relationships.
It’s easy to point out what’s going wrong in a terrible relationship and promise ourselves we’ll never be like that. It’s much harder to identify what’s going right in a great relationship, and strive to achieve that for ourselves.
Here are 8 signs of a healthy and happy relationship:
1 Common purpose. What is the purpose of a relationship? To help each other become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Everything makes sense in relation to our common purpose.
2 They define what makes a relationship great. How would you define a happy and healthy relationship? If you’ve never thought about it, now is the time to define what it would take for you to consider your relationship “great.”
3 Carefree timelessness. When was the last time you spend an afternoon, without an agenda, with the most important person in your life?
4 Hopes and dreams. Knowing the dreams of the people you love and helping them fulfill those dreams brings indescribable energy and enthusiasm to your relationships.
5 They follow through, because they want what’s best for their partner and their relationship more than they want anything for themselves.
6 They are accountable. Great relationships take hard work. Lovingly holding each other accountable is an essential element happy and healthy relationships helping each other become the-best-versions-of-yourselves.
7 They don’t give up, no matter what.
8 They never stop growing, reading books, and seeking coaching and guidance whether their relationship is in trouble, or seemingly perfect.
Pick one thing from this list, and work on it to help make your relationship the best it can be. You’ll find that even striving for a better relationship, makes your relationship better.
Have a great day, and remember, don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Why You Love Comfort: Comfort Vs. Consolation - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We seem more and more in love with comfort. We seem more and more intent on making life easy, and the more we pursue this ease of life the harder we make it. Our obsession with comfort has led us to become addicted to comfort, and then any time our comfort is threatened we become plagued with anxiety.
Is it possible that we could be happier if we were uncomfortable? Yes. Absolutely. Discipline is by its very nature uncomfortable, especially at first, and yet it leads to a fulfillment and happiness that ease and comfort never deliver.
The world counsels us to seek comfort in our afflictions. It also encourages us to think of everything as an affliction which places us in a constant victim mentality. This is how we get addicted to comfort. This daze of comfort prevents us from living a life directed by faith and critical thinking.
When we experience pain, loss, trauma, and betrayal, it is natural to yearn for comfort. But there are higher and lower forms of comfort.
The world is content to numb you with comfort, but God yearns not just to comfort you, but to console you.
Why are we so in love with comfort? When we desire so much of something that it becomes bad for us it is usually an indication that we are desiring the wrong thing. Our love of comfort is proof that we desire consolation.
There is a difference between comfort and consolation.
Comfort is physical, consolation is spiritual. Comfort is passing, consolation is enduring. Comfort often leads to despair; consolation gently suggests hope.
Consolation whispers, “You can do this” “Life is worth living” “Pres on” “The best is yet to come” “Something wonderful is about to happen.”
Comfort insists, “You deserve it” “You’re wasting your time” “You’ll never make a difference.”
Comfort is a type of resigned defeat.
Comfort runs out and then we find ourselves in a deep desolation. This is what addicts experience. The comfort of the high and the inevitable desolation that follows.
What is desolation? Desolation is a state of complete emptiness and destruction.
Consolation leads us slowly back to fullness and wholeness.
Make some time and space to sit with God quietly today and ask Him to console you. Those who seek will find, those who ask will receive, those who knock will have the door opened to them. Ask God to fill you like you have never been filled before. Ask Him to make you whole.”
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1 SIGN of a True Friend - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“There are lots of ways to measure friendship. One that my father taught me and has always stayed with me surrounds how people respond when good things happen for you.
A true friend is happy for you when you are successful, a true friend is happy for you when you fall in love, a true friend is happy for you when you get a promotion, win a car, go on a fabulous vacation, and all the other good things that will happen in your life.
How people respond when good things happen for you says a lot about who they are, their intentions, their motivations in life, and how they care for others.
When something wonderful happens in your life, a true friend doesn’t try to one-up you. He or she takes delight in your happiness. And so, what we discover is that healthy self-esteem is essential to friendship, because only those with a healthy sense of self can rejoice in other people’s success and happiness.”
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My Grandmother’s Prayer
My Grandmother’s POWERFUL Prayer - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Throughout the Scriptures we read about God assigning angels to help people make journeys.
In Exodus God said to Moses, “Behold, I am sending you an angel to go ahead of you, to guard you along the way, and to bring you to the place I have prepared.”
God assigns each of us a Guardian Angel for many reasons including so that we will never be alone in our journey through life.
This leads me to one of the most powerful prayers I have ever heard of and experienced. I was preparing for a very difficult meeting one day and my grandmother said to me, “If you want good to come from this meeting, ask your guardian angel to speak to his guardian angel, to open his heart, and prepare the way for your conversation.”
It works. I cannot explain it. But it works. So, next time you have a difficult conversation ahead of you, pray asking your guardian angel to speak with the other person’s guardian angel. You will be amazed…”
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Is God in Your Heart?
Is God in Your Heart? God’s Quest to Enter into Your Heart - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“God is on a quest to enter into your heart. He makes many approaches every day. Do you welcome him with open arms, or do you block God from entering into your heart?
We don’t always notice God’s attempts to enter into our hearts, because they are disguised in the ordinary everyday moments of life.
You notice someone in need. Through that moment God is trying to enter deeper into your heart. How do you respond?
You hear about a difficult situation someone you used to be friends with finds herself in. God is trying to enter deeper into your heart. Do you reach out to that person? Do you pray for that person? Or do you simply assign that person to your past and get on with your life?
God is trying to enter into your heart. He wants to occupy every corner of it. As you go about your day today, try to be aware of how God is attempting to occupy your heart and new ways.”
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Becoming Perfectly Yourself
You Were Created for a Purpose: DREAM Like it! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Before the beginning of time, when you were just a dream, your purpose had already been assigned. Purposefully created, and created for a purpose, you are here at this very moment to become the-best-version-of-yourself—not to become some poor imitation of your parents, your friends, your siblings, or your colleagues— but to become perfectly yourself.
Life is not about doing and having; it is about becoming.
Could you have a better dream for your children than to want them to become the-best-version-of-themselves? Could you have a better dream for your spouse than to want him or her to become the-best-version-of-him-or herself? It is the ultimate dream— and when we turn our attention to living this dream, our lives are flooded with energy, enthusiasm, passion, purpose, and a real and sustainable joy. It is time to start living this dream.
When we are healthy in a holistic sense, or in any one aspect of our lives, we are driven by this dream to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. Why are there so many products and programs available that help people transform different areas of their lives? Because there is an enormous demand for them. Marketers know that people have this insatiable desire to improve themselves. This desire is what drives us when we are healthiest.”
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Love Reaching Out To Misery
What is Mercy? GOD’S Definition Vs. The WORLD’S Definition - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“What is Mercy? The world’s definition of mercy is “compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.” But the mercy of God is much more than an act of pardon or the cancellation of punishment. It is more dynamic than the passivity of looking the other way. It is intimate and deeply personal.
And so, we ask again, what is mercy? Mercy is love reaching out to misery. Love reaching out to misery. When we need God’s mercy, we are miserable, the two go hand in hand. Sometimes it is misery that we have caused ourselves, sometimes we are the victims of misery someone else has caused, and sometimes our misery is caused by the inexplicable accidents, disasters, and tragedies of life.
Just know this, next time you are miserable, God is reaching out to you. And that reaching out is love reaching out to misery.
I have seen human beings bestow astounding mercy on other human beings. How does that happen? Made in the image of God we are capable of mercy. So, imagine how vast and infinite God’s mercy must be.
God’s mercy is bigger than any mistake any of his children can make. Such is the mercy of God. God is the love continuously reaching out to us when we are in misery.”
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Never Say I CAN’T! Great Lesson from Matthew McConaughey - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I heard Matthew McConaughey speak recently. He was discussing a lesson he learnt from his father. It is one that he is determined to pass on to his own children. When McConaughey was a kid, his father asked him to do something, and he tinkered with it for about three minutes and then said to his father, “I can’t do it.”
“Yet,” his father said. “You can’t do it yet.” From that day on, Matthew McConaughey’s father would not allow him to use the word “can’t” or would listen passively if he said, “I can’t do it.”
“Yet,” is one word that changes everything. It is one word that transforms attitude. How? By taking us beyond the constraints of the now and revealing the possibilities of the future.
I thought it was a great lesson. What is it that you are telling yourself you can’t do? Is it true? Because we lie to ourselves all the time and it’s not healthy. Maybe you just can’t do it yet.
The other thing that struck me is that McConaughey said he is determined to pass this lesson on to his own children. Determined. Great word. Love that word. What lesson are you determined to pass on to your children? But first, and for those of us who don’t have children, what are you determined to do? Maybe it’s been a while since you were really determined to do something. Maybe it’s time to rediscover your ability to be determined.”
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You May Be Right!
Wise People ALWAYS Consider They Could Be Wrong - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I have a friend back in Australia whose favorite line in a debate is, “You may be right!” He usually dispenses this line when the discussion has descended to a place where nobody is listening to anybody anymore. “You may be right!” and that’s the end of the conversation. If you see this in action often enough it becomes quite amusing.
But the wisest people I know have taught me something infinitely more valuable. Always consider the possibility that you might be wrong. Most people rarely consider the possibility. We believe ourselves, we trust our judgement, even though we have plenty of evidence that we have been wrong many, many times before.
You might be wrong. Wisdom considers this possibility.
The more you consider the possibility that you may be wrong, the more breadth and depth your truth acquires.
If your truth is so fragile that it can’t stand up to rigorous debate and exploration, then either it isn’t truth at all, or you haven’t yet entwined yourself with it intimately.
Wise people consider the possibility that they may be wrong.”
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Who’s the Passive-Aggressive in Your Life?
How to Recognize Passive-Aggressive Behavior (And What to do About It!) - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Most of us encounter passive-aggressive behavior on a daily basis. It could be as simple and innocent as a child who is unable to express her feelings or an adult who is intentionally trying to manipulate and control us.
What is passive-aggressive behavior? It’s a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them.
The first important word to connect with out of this definition is ”pattern”. It isn’t something that happens once. When something happens once, it’s an event. If something happens twice, depending on how serious something is, we may be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. But once something happens three times, it’s a pattern.
An example of passive-aggressive behavior is someone who agrees to something you ask them to do, perhaps even agrees enthusiastically, but then expresses anger and resentment by failing to complete the task or missing deadlines.
Passive-aggressive behavior often involves using inaction to punish or control people. It also usually involves refusing to express thoughts, feelings, opinions, and desires in a mature way.
Passive-aggressive people attempt to get what they need or want indirectly and manipulatively. They act out aggressive impulses in an indirect way. For example, they might say, “Don’t bother. I guess I’ll just have to do it myself” as a way to guilt and manipulate you into doing what they want you to do right now. Instead of simply asking you to do something and explaining why it matters to them.
Other examples of passive-aggressive behavior include: Resentment and opposition to reasonable requests; sulking; backhanded compliments; withdrawal; procrastination; intentional mistakes; refusing to communicate; cynical, sullen, or hostile attitudes; and frequent complaining.
When someone is behaving in one or more of these ways, it’s important to control your anger and explain what you are witnessing and experiencing in a non-judgmental, factual way.
For example, you might say to your child, "You seem to be angry at me for asking you to clean your room." Or you might say to your partner, “You agreed to come with me today, but now you seem resentful and angry at having to come.”
Remember, passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings, instead of addressing them openly. When a person is engaging in passive-aggressive behavior, there is always a disconnect between what that person says and what he or she does.
Passive-aggressive behavior interferes with millions of personal and professional relationships every day. It sucks the joy out of doing things together, makes difficult things even more difficult, it is exhausting, and can lead us to doubt ourselves and question whether something is wrong with us. Once someone gets us into this fragile psychological state, we are easier than ever to manipulate.
What’s the solution? Learn to recognize passive-aggressive behavior in your life, and don’t delay in pointing it out when you see it being used.”
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Consumers or Being Consumed?
Are We Still the Consumers? Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“For decades we have been told that we live in a consumer society. At this point I doubt many would argue with the assertion, but I do have some questions. Are we still the consumers, or are we being consumed? Have we lost something of ourselves to this unbridled consumerism? And if we have, can we get it back?
I look around, and it seems everything has a brand on it these days. The proliferation of brands has blanketed our society and has powerfully impacted our psyche. Again, I have some questions. What did we first use branding on? Cattle. What did the branding signify? Ownership. What was the second use of branding? Slavery. And that branding signified what? Ownership. Do we own the brands or do the brands own us? Are we still the consumers, or are we being consumed?”
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Becoming Real: The Velveteen Rabbit 100th Anniversary Edition - Matthew Kelly
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Is It Time to Move On?
The #1 Reason People Don’t Break Up When They Should! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The #1 reason people don’t break up with the person they are dating when they should can be best understood through an economic theory. Have you ever heard the saying, don’t throw good money after bad? This is called the Sunk Cost Fallacy.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy describes the human tendency to continue with an endeavor we have invested time, effort, money, and energy into, even if all the evidence suggests that our investment is a bad investment.
Have you ever heard someone say, “I already started, so I might as well keep going!” Or perhaps you have said it to yourself. The problem is, if you are going the wrong way, it doesn’t matter how far you go, or how much you persevere, or wish, hope, dream or pray, the wrong way never leads to the right destination. It’s a psychological bias that results in irrational choices.
Human beings are rational, but we don’t always behave rationally, and it’s important to remember that about ourselves and other people.
Deciding to continue to date someone when you are unhappy, when you have plenty of evidence that things are not going to change, because you’ve invested months or years of your life with them is a mistake.
It’s time to move on. Don’t think of it as wasted time, think of it as preparation for the best relationship of your life.”
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10 Signs You Should Break Up
10 Signs You Are Dating the Wrong Person - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Dating can be challenging and exhausting. So, when you have found someone, it is easy to overlook things that shouldn’t be overlooked, because the idea of going back out in search of your someone can seem daunting. But the reality is only your someone has a chance of bringing about a meaningful and sustainable relationship.
Here are 10 signs you are dating the wrong person:
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You’re not excited about your future together.
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You can’t have fun doing really ordinary things like going grocery shopping or running errands.
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The person you are dating is unwilling or unable to be with you when you are sad.
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You argue about who is right, rather than what is right. In relationships, we shouldn’t be against each other, we should be together against the problem we are facing as a couple, or that one of us is facing.
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You both refuse to confront the obvious.
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The person you are dating doesn’t share your values.
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Your partner is incapable of apologizing.
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You’re embarrassed to introduce your partner to important people in your life.
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You don’t enjoy just sitting and talking.
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You communicate your concerns, but nothing changes.
In the next video we will explore… The #1 Reason People Don’t Break Up When They Should!”
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Arguments Matter: The Key to Healthy Conflict & What to Avoid - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“One of the most important aspects of a relationship is learning how you argue. Arguments matter. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. Many of the worst relationships are those without conflict, because often both people are harboring unspoken discontent and growing resentment.
Arguments tell a lot about a relationship. What two people argue about, where they argue, and how they argue reveals a lot about who people are and what they value. And that is true whether the relationship involves a marriage, a friendship, two colleagues at work, or brothers and sisters.
Arguments are caused by differing opinions, unmet expectations, converging desires, and colliding personal preferences.
The key to dynamic relationships is healthy conflict. Healthy conflict is when we argue for something rather than against each other. And the best arguments are when we are arguing about how to make our relationship the-best-version-of-itself.
If you want your relationship to be the-best-version-of-itself, learn to argue in a healthy way.”
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What’s Stealing Your Energy?
These Habits DRAIN Your Energy! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“What’s draining your energy? We all have habits that drain our energy. Some of them we are aware of and some of them we participate in unconsciously.
Here are 21 things that could be draining your energy. Pick three to work on. And remember, you can see the whole list at MatthewKelly.com. We publish the transcripts to all my YouTube videos on my blog.
- Negativity.
- Bad posture.
- Not drinking enough water.
- Lack of direction and priorities.
- Forgetting to breathe deeply.
- Sugar, Caffeine, and Alcohol.
- Not taking a break.
- Checking email first thing in the morning.
- Taking things personally that are not personal.
- Social media.
- The news.
- Worrying about things you cannot influence.
- Sleeping too much.
- Poor diet choices.
- Complaining.
- Noise.
- Light.
- Fear or anxiety.
- Lack of exercise or too much exercise.
- Perfectionism.
- Making a big deal out of little things.
- Skipping breakfast.
- Never taking a real vacation.
- Alcohol before bed.
- Checking email before bed.
- Your attitude.
- Clutter and disorganization.
- Too much food or not enough food.
- Stress.
- Lack of self-esteem.
- Saying yes to things you know you should say no to.
- Half finishing tasks.
- Gossiping.
- Toxic people and unhealthy relationships
- Trying to please others constantly.
- Ruminating on the past.
- Not moving enough.
- Resentment.
- Worrying about what people think about you.
- Watching TV that drains you emotionally and beats you up psychologically.
- Planning too far into the future.
Okay, that was 41, not 21, I got carried away. But here’s the thing. Everyday there are an unlimited number of people and activities out to steal your energy if you let them. Don’t let them.
Have a great day… and remember, don’t just be yourself, be the-best-version-of-yourself!”
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9 Ways You’re Wasting Your Life
9 Ways You’re Wasting Your Precious 24 Hours - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Time is precious. We all know that. It’s one of the most limited resources we have. Everybody gets 24 hours. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you have, or who you know, you still just get 24 hours. But have you ever noticed that some people get so much more accomplished with their 24 hours.
There are two reasons for that.
- They don’t waste time.
- They know how to manage their energy.
So, let’s take a look at 9 ways you may be wasting your precious 24 hours:
- Procrastinating.
- Not scheduling ”no-interruption” focus time.
- Answering the phone when you don’t know who it is.
- Doing things 12 times instead of once. If there is something you do every month, schedule it for the same time every month, rather than having to schedule it 12 times every year.
- Scrolling thorough social media or constantly updating yours, or both.
- Consuming the news.
- Gossiping.
- Watching soul poisoning crap on TV.
- Arguing with people who never listen.
Pick one and resolve to stop wasting time doing that starting right now.
Next, let’s take a look at what’s draining your energy.”
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Don’t Waste Your Gold Dust
We Are Each Other’s Wounded Healers - Matthew Kelly - Life is Messy Interview
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Video Transcript:
Jack Beers:
“Don't waste your gold dust. You know, I love that line. It's the last line of the book don't waste your gold dust. Tell me about what gold dust means.”
Matthew Kelly:
“Yeah, it's interesting because I, as you know, I rewrote the ending of the book at least a dozen times, and then there's some lines they just cut.
There's some lines, they just come, and they come in the middle of the night. You don't know where they come from, and you don't know how they come, and you wish you did, because you'd like to recreate it all over again. That's one of them, don't waste your gold dust. I think it just has this feel to it that is intriguing, that is challenging, that is ... it goes back to the Japanese ceramics. The idea that they mix the gold dust in with the glue when they glued back the vases or the bowls. It's not the glue that makes the ceramics beautiful, it's the gold dust that makes the ceramics beautiful. In the book ... let's see if we can find it. Talks about the idea, this might be a close second to the unrecognized spiritual needs line.
The most beautiful and surprising lesson that the Japanese art form of Kintsugi teaches us is this, we are each others wounded healers. We each possess the gold dust needed to glue other people back together, making them more beautiful and more lovable than ever. It is our love, connection, acceptance, generosity, community and kindness that are the gold dust. That's your gold dust. Your goodness is your gold dust. Your ability to love and be generous, be kind and thoughtful, compassionate. That's your gold dust. It is desperately needed by everyone in your life in order for them to be healed, put back together, to become more beautiful and more lovable than ever.
To withhold your gold dust is more than a crime. It's a treachery. I think we do sometimes, we withhold our gold dust, and that's tragic. We waste our gold dust. Don't waste your gold dust.”
Jack Beers:
“If you're watching this on a video, just pause, and just sit with that for a hot second. "Don't waste your gold dust." It's an incredible standard. Maybe it's better to say it's an incredible responsibility, and is there a more important responsibility for me than to be each others wounded healers? That's just...”
Matthew Kelly:
“Yes, but at the same time, it is a standard and a responsibility that is perfectly matched for you. I think on days when I ger overwhelmed, or I get frazzled and I get stressed, or I get cranky, or whatever, I have to sit back and say, "What is happening here?" The conclusion that I have to come to, is that I am trying to do more in this day, in this 24 hour period, than God intends for me to do.
Assess the landscape and work out, which parts of this day are coming from ego, or coming from ambition, or coming from parts of me that are not aligned with God. When we walk with God, we should very rarely be overwhelmed. Usually when we're overwhelmed, when something seems too massive, it's because we're trying to do part of God's job. We should be overwhelmed when we make that mistake.”
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Take Risks With Your Goodness
How to Get The Most out of Life - Matthew Kelly - Life is Messy Interview
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Video Transcript:
Jack Beers:
“What do you think it means to risk take risks with goodness?”
Matthew Kelly:
“I think it's interesting that we look at risk as negative as a result of that. We seek to mitigate risk, but you can never, you can never mitigate all risk. You know, you'd never leave your home. You'd never do anything. You never talk to anyone. And so there is a level of risk that is built in to the experience of life, to every relationship.
What I think is important to understand is that there is a direct correlation between risk and reward, the greater the reward, the more risk people will be willing to take any society that reduces the rewards created to risk or related to risk will, will begin to shrink in business. We understand this and investing, we understand this, but if you look at the human situation, we need a standing innovation, you know, and you think about the risks that innovators take. They, they put their whole life into something that may become enormous, but may become nothing. It's an enormous risk, but to take that risk in a human way, you know, I think dedicating yourself to goodness is a risk dedicating yourself to loving people is a risk dedicating yourself to living a life of staggering generosity is a risk. There will be damaged. There will be collateral damage and it will be to you, but it's much better than the other option.”
Jack Beers:
“Yeah. Walk, sit with that one for a while [Laughs]. Yeah. And I see that play out too. Like that level of risk for goodness is some of the most attractive and inspiring things of humanity. You know, when you see somebody really go all out to love another person, despite the cost on themselves, like there's almost nothing more attractive than that.”
Matthew Kelly:
“And it's contagious You know, guaranteed. It creates a ripple effect.”
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The China Problem: Peng Shaui and The Olympic Games - Matthew Kelly
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Your Unrecognized Spiritual Needs
The Greatest Threat To Your Happiness And Wholeness - Matthew Kelly - Life is Messy Interview
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Video Transcript:
Jack Beers:
““If something was threatening your happiness, would you want to know about it? If people knew you can never be truly whole without something, and they withheld that information from you, how would you feel? The greatest threat to your happiness and wholeness is your unrecognized spiritual needs. That's 13 words that took me a lifetime to formulate." Where did that line come from? And why do you think it's so important?”
Matthew Kelly:
“I've obviously spent a lot of time, thinking about human happiness, writing about happiness, exploring, what great think is believed to be the key to happiness. I think we're living in an age where the spiritual is devalued and de-... I think we're living in an age where the spiritual is devalued and deprioritized, and that's like saying, I'm going to ignore this whole part of myself, which is central to my existence. That's like taking indispensable parts out of a car and still expecting it to run. And, and that's our lives. That's modern life. You know, when we extract spirituality and put it on the shelf as something that doesn't matter, or I think for many people today, they believe it to be something that just simply isn't necessary.
Chances at happiness that diminish at an astounding pace. When we ignore our spiritual selves, I believe God is interested in the whole person, physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual, I think from a religious point of view, we often make this mistake of thinking that God is only interested in the spiritual aspect, moral and ethical behaviors, but I believe God is interested in the whole person. And that holiness and wholeness are inseparably linked. That holiness is impossible without a staggering quest for wholeness and not only for ourselves, but to bring wholeness to the people in our lives.
The line, I think it is the most important line in the book for people. But yeah, I've thought that about other lines in books and, and people read straight through them and decide some other line is more important again it's, where is the redirect? But I think the setup to the line is very important. If I knew something was indispensable to your happiness and I held it from you intentionally kept it from you. How would you feel about me? How would you feel about that? And that someone in our society, are the creators of content are the creators of different technologies, are the creators of different laws and all the time, they prevent people from recognizing their spiritual needs.”
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What Did Jesus Do With The Mess? - Matthew Kelly - Life is Messy Interview
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Video Transcript:
Jack Beers:
“So when you look to the gospels then, and you look to Jesus, what do you see Jesus doing to contend with the mess of humanity?”
Matthew Kelly:
“Well, firstly, he affirms the major promise of the book, which is the mess isn't going anywhere. And he affirms it most specifically in his line, "The poor will always be with you." It's arresting, right? It's like "No, hold on that can't be true." We must be able to do something about that. And of course, what does he mean? We don't actually know, but we do know that he speaks about poverty, not exclusively as a material experience. We all have forms of poverty. You go to the wealthiest neighborhoods on the planet and these people have deep levels of poverty in some aspect of their life.
But he does affirm that the mess isn't going anywhere, it is here to stay, in the book. But I think the other thing that is perhaps most poignant to the conversation is that, God could have saved humanity any which way. Could have clicked these fingers, and that would have been salvation. How did God choose to bring salvation to the world? He chose to come as a child, helpless and to place himself right in the middle of our mess.
I think very often when someone else has created a mess, which we tend to do, we do create messes for ourselves. Sometimes messes just happen. Natural disasters, all sorts of things, messes just happen. And they can bring devastating heartache and sadness and suffering to our lives. But we do create some of the messes in our lives. Sometimes as human beings, when we encounter someone who's made a mess of their life, I think we do have a tendency sometimes to say, "All right, well, that's your mess, you made it, you clean it up." And that is not the mind of God.
God, places himself... The Christmas moment is God placing himself in the middle of our mess. Doesn't try to avoid it. Doesn't come in such form that he could be closed off from certain aspects of the mess. Places himself, right in the middle of our mess, and I think that's beautiful. When you really stop and think about your own mess, to understand that God wants to place himself right in the middle of your mess. To understand that, God wants to place himself right in the middle of your mess. Okay.
He's not waiting for you on the other side of your mess saying, "When you've taken care of that mess, let's resume our relationship." And I think that, that is an incredibly hopeful... In I Heard God Laugh, one of my favorite lines in the book is, you can't live without hope that things will change for the better. And what happens when we get in the mess is we lose hope. Not that things will change for the better, but even that things can change for the better, and that becomes a devastating downward spiral I think.”
Jack Beers:
“For sure. You correct me if I'm wrong. I think my working assumption is that, many people are actually afraid to bring their mess to God. Afraid as to how he might respond. Do you think that's true? And if you do think that's true, how do you think God does respond when we bring our mess to him?”
Matthew Kelly:
“I think that is true. We're not taught how to deal with shame, which is a useless emotion. Guilt is a massive advancement from shame. Of course, guilt requires taking personal responsibility for your part of whatever happened, not for everything that happened, but for your part of whatever happened. But once you're in guilt, we can do something about that.
So I think our shame stops us from bringing the mess to God. Okay. But that's like having a unique disease, an incredibly rare disease. There's only one doctor in the world, who's an expert in that disease. And refusing to g
How Does God See Your Brokenness?
Put On The Mind of God: See Yourself as He Sees You - Matthew Kelly - Life is Messy Interview
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Video Transcript:
Jack Beers:
““Can something, or someone become more beautiful and more lovable after it's been broken". You do this really interesting thing that has been in my mind since I read the book. Which is you invite the reader to pause and put on the mind of God and say, "How might God answer that question?””
Matthew Kelly:
“Yeah. I think, the concept at the heart of all authentic spirituality, at the heart of all genuine mysticism is that, we seek this union with God. And one of the ways to seek that union with God is to ask ourselves, how would God look at this situation? How would God look at this person? And ultimately, how does God look at me? If we don't do that, we will inevitably create God in our own image. And that is a very, very dangerous path to get down, and many people get down that path, right?
If God loves everyone, you love and God hates everyone, you hate. Who you're talking to is not God. And if God agrees with all of your opinions, who you're talking to is not God. This idea of creating God in our image, it's a trap we all fall into, at different times. I think it is inevitable. And how is the way out of it? Is to put on the mind of God? When we read the scriptures, what are we really trying to do? What's really happening is we're getting insight into the mind of God. We're getting, God's ways are not man's ways. All right.
What are God's ways? Well, let's look at the scriptures. Let's look at how he has acted in history. Let's look at how he's acted in our own lives. And then let's learn in everyday situations, not just at church on Sunday, to put on the mind of God. When we want to lose our temper, when we don't know what to do to put on the mind of God and say, all right, how would God see this? How would God respond to this? And to allow that to guide us.”
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Social Media: The Biggest Problem?
How Do We Rehumanize Humanity? - Matthew Kelly - Life is Messy Interview
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Video Transcript:
Jack Beers:
“Okay, dehumanization?" What is it?”
Matthew Kelly:
“I have long wanted to write a book just about the dehumanization and re humanization. It is in my opinion, one of the mega themes of our culture at this moment, what is dehumanization? How does it happen? And, what is its effect? When you dehumanize people, it changes the way they treat each other. That's it's simplest form. When you dehumanize people, it changes the way they treat each other. People begin to deface each other, rather than ennobling each other.
For example, brutality divides us while love and respect ennoble us. Do we live in a society of love and respect or in a society of brutality? The question itself is unsettling. And of course the answer is not binary. It's not all or nothing. It's not one or the other, but still too much of society is engaged in various forms of brutality to dismiss the question. And that's just one example of dehumanization. Most customer service people who work in customer service do not feel like they are treated as human beings. We do tend to dehumanize customer service people.
It's, "I got this problem, you caused this problem, fix this problem." But the reality is the person we're talking to did not cause the problem, maybe yes, the great big enterprise they work for caused the problem. But that doesn't give us reason, doesn't justify us in dehumanizing this customer service person. And, so once you start to get into it, you realize it is everywhere. I think the great quest of the next a hundred years is to re humanize humanity. It is a mega thing and it will become a bigger and bigger problem, the longer we refuse to even talk about it.”
Jack Beers:
“Do you think that the dehumanization has taken a big leap? Like it has increased in the dehumanization or intensified in its dehumanization, more rapidly recently than it has in the past? If so, I would love to hear your thoughts on how you think that's taken place.”
Matthew Kelly:
“I mean, no question, we're learning to do everything that's bad for us faster and faster than ever before. Technology assists in that, right? Not the technology is bad, but if you use it for bad things, you can do bad things faster and more than ever before. I think the everyday example is just gossip. Gossip is dehumanizing. Social media is the industrialization of gossip. And so social media has industrialized dehumanization, and that's just one example.
Is social media bad? Oh, it's neutral. Television's neutral. Social media is neutral. Money is neutral. Food is neutral. These things are neutral. How we use them, how we activate them in our life, gives them the positive or the negative charge. But there's certainly plenty of evidence that something like social media is being used to dehumanize people in myriad ways, perhaps most significantly by redefining what it means to be a friend. It's the simplest thing, right? Connect with someone, click a button and they're your friend, but that's not friendship. All men and women of goodwill recognize that, realize that, but it's like a runaway train, right?”
Jack Beers:
“Yeah. I have to ask then, how would you say... Is friendship connected to re humanization then?”
Matthew Kelly:
“Good question. Everything is connected to relationship. The world, society, culture is a multiplication of relationships. The bigger the group, the more relationships that are involved. If our relationships improve, the world improves. Not maybe, definitely. If relationships improve between people within a country that nation's relationships with other countries will improve. Not maybe, definitely.
And then y
Find Meaning In Your Brokenness
What Do We Do With Our Broken Selves? - Matthew Kelly - Life is Messy Interview
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Video Transcript:
Jack Beers:
“‘Can something that has been broken, be put back together in a way that makes it more beautiful than ever before?’"
Matthew Kelly:
“So this is really the central question of the book. We live in a disposable culture. When something breaks, we throw it away and buy a new one, the dilemma or the predicament that that creates is what do we do with our own broken selves? What do we do with broken relationships? What do we do with broken institutions, broken dreams? You can't throw these things away and buy a new one. And so I think this is one of the central questions of our age and it is something we all struggle with but I think something that we struggle to articulate. The Japanese have an art form called Kintsugi. When we break a vase or a bowl or something, we throw it away, buy a new one. The Japanese artists gather up these ceramic pieces and they put it back together. Only when they put it back together they don't try to hide the cracks, they mix gold dust with the glue. And so when the piece is put back together, it has these lines of gold that show exactly where the cracks are, but they're beautiful. I mean, these ceramics are astoundingly beautiful.
And so the idea is... the question is "Can something that has been devastatingly broken, be put together and become more beautiful than ever before?" And in these ceramics, I believe we discovered that the answer is "Yes." The extension of the question of where the book really goes, is can someone who has been devastatingly broken, be healed and become more beautiful and more lovable than ever before. I believe our default answer to that question is "No." And I believe that that is creating massive sadness, anxiety in us all because it's sort of a hopeless proposition, right? And, it simply is not true and that is the conclusion I come to throughout the book for myself.
And it is the conclusion that I hope the reader will come to is "Yes. You had been broken in your life. Yes. You have made choices, bad choices. Yes. You have been hurt. You've had your heart broken. And as a result of that, you are broken and wounded, but you can be healed and you can become more beautiful and more lovable than ever before," is my dream for the reader, is my hope for the reader, is that they can come to that conclusion because I think it is an astoundingly liberating conclusion and changes the way we look at ourselves forever and changes the way we look at other people in their brokenness, in their woundedness, as they deal with their mess.”
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The Solution to All the World’s Problems: If You Get The Man (or Woman) Right… - Matthew Kelly
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A Lesson from Mountain Climbing - Little by Little - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Everything can be achieved little by little. A couple of summers ago, three or four of my friends cornered me and accused me of living in the comfort zone. They told me that I'd stopped dreaming, that I was only doing the things I knew I could do and that I knew I could achieve, and that I wasn't pushing myself, that I wasn't stretching myself enough. As a solution to this, they decided that I needed a bit of a challenge in my life and they had already decided what their challenge would be.
They invited me to join them in Colorado to climb a mountain, a 14 and a half thousand-foot mountain. As we began walking that morning. I discovered that they had already climbed a 10000 foot an 11000 foot, a 12000 foot, and a 13000-foot mountain, and they were seeking their 14,000-foot victory. I, on the other hand, had never climbed anything in my entire life.
We get to about 11000 feet. You get through the tree line and the air becomes a little bit tight. You get to about 12000 feet and you take 10 steps and you need to stop to take another breath. I get to about 13000 feet. By this time, we've lost three of them. It's just me and one other guy climbing this mountain. We get to about 13000 feet and I'm there thinking, “what am I doing this for”? I'm thinking, “what do I want to be up here on this mountain for? I've done thirteen thousand feet. I mean, they've done 10000-foot mountain. If I was doing a 10000-foot mountain, I would have been done three hours ago. They've done 11000-foot mountain…12000. What do I need to be climbing this 14 and a half thousand-foot mountain for?”
And I sat down on a boulder, and these two people came walking past me, a guy and a girl, and they get about 10 feet past me. And then the woman turns around, she comes back to me and she says to me, "You know, it's not a race." She says, "as long as you keep moving, you'll get there." She says, "As long as you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will get there. So just take your time." And, you know, that really changed my perspective on it. And that's another lesson in little by little, everything can be achieved little by little. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Soon enough, we're going to get to the mountaintop.
How would you like your life to be different one year from now than it is today? And if it isn't, who will you blame? Who will you blame? What will you put it down to? More importantly, what questions do you have to ask, what habits do you have to put into your life to make that new life a reality?”
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How to Overcome Any Obstacle
What Seems Impossible to You? – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I remember as a child, when I was in first grade of primary school, I was seven years old and it was a great year in my life because it was during that year that I came to learn that the impossible can be achieved that anything can be achieved, just about anything, little by little. I remember, in grade one of primary school, coming to the school gate on a Friday afternoon and finding my brothers standing around the gate, messing around, playing games, beating each other up a bit, waiting for my mother to come and pick us up from school. And I remember on Friday afternoons, all my brothers used to be happy and excited because the school week was over. The weekend had come, and that meant lots of sports and no homework. There was a great excitement there.
But I remember week after week, on a Friday afternoon, making my way to the school gate, very sad. And I remember one Friday afternoon, in particular, the school bell went, and everyone rushed out of class. I slowly tidied my desk, I packed my school bag, then I dragged my school bag slowly towards the school gate where I found four of my brothers happy and excited because, once again, the weekend had come around.
But I remember this particular Friday afternoon, I was particularly sad. And I remember my mother coming to get us. She used to park the car down the street and walk up to the gate to gather us all together, and then walk us down to the car and throw the bags in the back of the car, and one by one, we'd get into the car. And I remember getting into the car that day and bursting into tears. My brothers, they looked at me wondering what had happened. And then my mother got into the car, and she saw me crying. And she said, "What's wrong?"
You see, in grade one of primary school, on Friday afternoons, we used to have our spelling test, and I always used to fail. They used to make me sad. But I remember my mother taking me home and holding me in her arms and saying, "Everything's going to be all right. We're going to practice your spelling, and you'll get better." And then she said to me, "How many did you get in your spelling test today?" And I said, "6 out of 20." The kids used to laugh like that. That's why I was sad. She said to me, "How many did you get in the spelling test today?" I said, "6 out of 20." She said, "That's okay. If you get 7 next week, on Friday afternoon, I will take you straight from school, and I'll buy you a big bar of chocolate." I got 7, and I got my bar of chocolate.
The next week, I got 8 and more chocolate. The week after that, 9 and more chocolate, then 10 and 12 and more chocolate and 14 and 16 and more chocolate and 18 and 19 and 20 and more chocolate until I had developed a love for chocolate. But I could spell. I could spell. And I think we all experience things like this in our lives. For me to get 20 out of 20 in spelling when I was in first grade, when I was seven years old, seemed like an impossible task. It seemed like climbing Mount Everest twice in two weeks backwards. But little by little, through the encouragement, my mother, my teachers, I was able to climb that mountain. Little by little, through their encouragement, I was able to climb that mountain. It takes perseverance. It takes perseverance.”
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Failure is Part of Success
What Successful People Do that 99% of People Don’t - The Power of Perseverance - Matthew Kelly
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What Are You Giving Up for Lent? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I remember, a couple of years ago, I was back in Australia right at the beginning of Lent. It was Ash Wednesday evening and the phone rang. I was walking by just as it rang. And so, I picked it up. And a little voice on the other end of the phone said, "Is that you, Uncle Matt?" I say, "Yeah, this is me." It was my niece, Zoe. She said, "Hi, Uncle Matt, it's Zoe." I said, "Hi, Zoe. How are you?" She said, "I'm good, Uncle Matt." I said, "Zoe, how did you know it was me?" I got seven brothers. I say, "Zoe, how did you know it was me?" She says, "Oh, Uncle Matt, you sound like an American." I said, "Thank you, Zoe." I ask her, "How was your day, Zoe?" She said, "Oh, Uncle Matt, I had a busy day. I went to school, and then I came home, and I did some homework. And then I went to volleyball practice, and then I came home. I did some more homework. We had some dinner. Then I went to church, and I got ashes." "What do you mean you got ashes?" "Yeah, Uncle Matt. Father, he made a big mess on my head with those ashes this year." I said, "Really?" She said, "Yeah." I said, "Well, what did Father talk about?" "What do you mean, Uncle Matt?" "Before communion, Father normally talks a bit." "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, Uncle Matt, I remember. He talked about giving up stuff for Lent. Guess what I'm going to give up, Uncle Matt?" "No idea, Zoe. What are you going to give up?" "Coca-Cola." I said, "Zoe, you really like Coca-Cola." She says, "Yeah, I know, Uncle Matt, but Father, he was talking about giving up something that's really difficult. So, for me, Coca-Cola." I said, "Well, that's great, Zoe."
Two days later, Friday evening, I'm out at the basketball. I'm out at the basketball with my two nieces, Emma and Zoe. Emma's the elder. She's playing in the basketball game. Zoe's the younger. And she's sitting next to me with five or six of her little giggling friends from school. So, I look across halfway through the second half, and Zoe is guzzling down a large bottle of Coca-Cola. She is guzzling down a large bottle of Coke. I don't say anything. I just sort of smile to myself. Turned back to the game. About five minutes later, there's a tug on my shoulder, "Uncle Matt, Uncle Matt, I forgot." I look at her, I say, "You forgot what, Zoe?" "Oh, Uncle Matt, I forgot. I gave up Coca-Cola for Lent, and I just drank a bottle of Coca-Cola." I didn't say anything. I just looked at her and smiled. She said, "It's all over now. I have to wait till next year.""
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There Are Two Kinds of People - Two Seas in Palestine - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“There are two types of people in the world. There are two types of people in the world, and there are two seas in Palestine. One is fresh and fish are in it. Splashes of green adorn its banks, trees spread their branches over it and stretch out their thirsty roots to sip its healing waters. Along its shores, the children play as children played when he was there. He loved it. He could look across its silver surface when he spoke his parables, and on a rolling plain not far away, he fed 5,000 people.
The River Jordan meets the sea with sparkling water from the hills, so it laughs in the sunshine and men build their houses near to it and birds their nests, and every kind of life is happier because it is there.
The River Jordan flows on south into another sea. Here, there is no splash of fish, no fluttering leaf, no song of birds, no children's laughter. Travelers choose another route unless on urgent business. The air hangs heavy above its waters, and neither man nor beast nor fowl will drink from it.
What makes the mighty difference between these two seas, what makes the mighty difference? Not the River Jordan. No, the River Jordan empties the same good water into both of them. Not the soil in which they lie and not the country that surrounds them. The difference is this. The Sea of Galilee receives but does not keep the Jordan. The Sea of Galilee receives but does not keep the Jordan, for every drop that flows in, another drop flows out. The giving and the receiving go on in equal measure.
The other sea is shrewder, hoarding its income jealously. It will not be tempted into any generous impulse. Every drop it gets it keeps. The Sea of Galilee gives and lives, the other sea gives nothing, and it is named the dead.
There are two kinds of people in the world. There are two kinds of people in the world and there are two seas in Palestine.”
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Powerful Lesson from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - Matthew Kelly
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How Long Do You Want to Be Happy? - Our Quest for Happiness - Matthew Kelly
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3 Myths About Happiness
3 Things You Need to STOP Believing About Happiness - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“There are three myths when it comes to the pursuit of happiness. The first myth is that worldly success will make us happy. What level of success do you imagine will make you happy? Because I can promise you the happiness that will be born from that success will be very short lived. I've known some people who have been phenomenally successful, some of them immensely happy, and some of them are miserable. And what I've discovered is the ones that were very happy before they became successful are still very happy. And those who were miserable before they came successful are still miserable. The truth is, worldly success only makes us happy, only brings happiness to our lives in as much as it helps us become the best version of ourselves.
The second myth is that physical pleasure will make us happy. But what physical pleasure can be sustained? Physical pleasure is fleeting, and when detached from our central purpose, always leaves emptiness in its aftermath. Physical pleasure contributes to the lasting happiness in our lives only when it helps us to become the best version of ourselves… only when it is connected to our essential purpose.
The third myth is that fun equals happiness. Most people believe the more fun experiences they can pack into their lives the happier they will be. I mean, close your eyes for a moment and imagine a scene of happy people. Most people conjure up a scene of people eating, drinking, and partying. This is their scene of fun people. Very few people will conjure up an old woman sitting on a swing reading a great book, or an old man, or a young man working in his garden equally quietly, equally contented, or a couple playing with their children. Most people conjure up a scene of happiness. They conjure up people partying, drinking, and eating. The challenge is to learn to have fun doing the things that matter most. I mean, the more we can infuse the things that help us become the best version of ourselves with fun, the happier we'll be, and that's the only connection between fun and happiness. We only find happiness through the activities of fun when those activities are also helping us achieve our central purpose and become the best version of ourselves.”
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Are You a Lover of Wisdom? - The World Needs More Philosophers - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“My son Walter asked me once, “What is a philosopher?” “A philosopher is a lover of wisdom,” I explained to him. Over the years this phrase has become a favorite saying in the family.
One of the children might ask, “Why are we talking about this… or reading this… or doing this?” And I will reply, because your mother and I are raising you to be… and they will reply, “Lovers of wisdom.”
So, let me ask you, are you a lover of wisdom?
It would seem to me that whatever good hopes and dreams we have for our country and the world, we are all going to need more wisdom to bring those hopes and dreams about.
The place we give wisdom in our lives and in our culture is highly predictive of the future. The sad reality is that wisdom often doesn’t have much of a place in our lives or society. Opinions, agendas, and preferences all seem to be more loved and celebrated than wisdom at this time.
Are you a lover of wisdom or are you in love with your opinions, agendas, and preferences?
What area of your life is most in need of wisdom?
In what way are you being nudged, called, encouraged to adopt the path of the wise at this time in your life?
The world needs more lovers of wisdom, and so, we have a decision to make. Are we going to be lovers of our opinions, agendas, and personal preferences? Or are we going to become lovers of wisdom? The future of everything depends on how we answer this question.”
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What Matters Most?
The Essence of Life - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We hurry about our daily lives, busying ourselves with a million things, and in the midst of all this it is easy to overlook what matters most. Love is the pinnacle of the human experience. The giving and receiving of love is the highest calling of the human person. At first it may seem that the giving of love is the difficult part, but for many of us, opening our hearts to receive the love of others can be the greater challenge.
We should busy ourselves with giving and receiving love. And as we can only control the giving, and not the receiving, we should order our lives so that we are preoccupied with giving love wherever we go and to whomever we meet.
Certainly we have to work and pay our bills and study and pass our exams. All these things we do in order to survive, but love is what we survive for.
Love is what life is really all about.
Life is not about what sort of shoes you wear. Life isn’t about whether or not you live on the right street, or whether you live in a big, fancy house. Life’s not about what sort of car you drive. It’s not about what football team you cheer for, or whether your football team wins, or whether you made the football team, or might make the football team, or what position you played on the football team. Life’s not about what college you went to, or might go to, or what college your kids go to. Life’s not about these things.
Life’s not about money. It’s not about what sort of position or what sort of power you have. It’s not about whether you’re famous. It’s not about whether or not you vacation in all the right places every year. Life’s not about the labels on the clothes you wear. Life is not about these things.
Life’s not about who you’ve dated or who you’re dating. Life’s not about who you know or who your parents are. And it’s not even about the grades you get in school, what company you work for, or what your job is. Life is simply not about these things.
Life is about love. It’s about who you love and who you hurt. Life’s about how you love yourself and how you hurt yourself. Life’s about how you love and hurt the people close to you, and it’s about how you love and hurt the people who cross your path for just a moment, unexpectedly, one rainy afternoon.
Life is about love.”
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Have You Fallen Out of Love?
The Essence of Love - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Stephen Covey tells a great story about the essence of love. On this particular day he had been presenting a series of talks about proactivity, which is, basically, the idea that “as human beings we are responsible for our lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.”
After his presentation, Covey was approached by a man who said, “Stephen, I like what you’re saying. But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I’m really worried. My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”
“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” Covey asked.
“That’s right,” the man reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”
“Love her,” Covey replied.
“I told you, the feeling just isn’t there anymore,” the man insisted.
“Love her,” Covey affirmed.
“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”
“Then love her.” Covey continued. “If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”
“But how do you love when you don’t love?” the man said seemingly perplexed.
“My friend, ‘love’ is a verb. Love—the feeling—is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate her. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”
I met Covey about a decade after he first told this story and he was wondering what happened to this man and his marriage.
Love is not a feeling. From when we are very young, through powerful mediums such as movies and music, we are conditioned to believe that love is a feeling. The result of this conditioning is that we allow our actions to be dictated by our feelings. Rather than asking ourselves whether a particular person is going to help us become our best self, we simply allow our feelings to take us wherever they will at any particular moment. And I don’t know whether you’ve noticed it, but feelings are one of the most inconsistent aspects of the human person.
Our feelings shouldn’t direct our actions and our lives. Our actions should be driven by our hopes and values; above all, they should be driven by our essential purpose to become the-best-version-of-ourselves.
People who are driven by feelings are dangerous. They are undisciplined, inconsistent, and unreliable. But people who are driven by their values and a clear understanding of their essential purpose are disciplined, consistent, and reliable.
So if you want to be surrounded by people who are inconsistent and unreliable, choose your friends, your colleagues, your employees, and your significant other on the basis of feelings. But if you want to be surrounded by people who are consistent and reliable, choose friends, colleagues, employees, and a significant other who live value-driven lives—they will help you become the-best-version-of-yourself.
Love is a choice, not a feeling. Feelings come and go, and if we choose to base our most important relationships on how we feel at any moment, we are in for a rough and rocky journey. Love is a verb, not a noun. Love is something we do, not something that happens to us.”
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Do You Feel (UN)Appreciated?
What To Do When You Feel Unappreciated - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Do you feel appreciated? It’s horrible to feel taken for granted. When our efforts go unacknowledged, we can feel invisible, unloved, and unappreciated. And yet, the great majority of people feel unappreciated by at least one of the most important people in their lives.
So, what can you do if you feel unappreciated? There are an unlimited number of ways to express appreciation, so the first thing is to explore your assumption. They may not be expressing their appreciation in words, but they may be expressing it in other ways. If you feel unappreciated, take a moment and consider if they are expressing their appreciation in a way you have not considered.
If you still believe someone important in your life does not appreciate you, speak up. It is difficult, but essential for your mental health and happiness. There is always the chance that a person is unaware that you don’t feel appreciated. And if someone you love felt that way toward you, wouldn’t you want to know? Simply by drawing their attention to it, you give them the chance to point out the ways they do express their appreciation and provide the opportunity for them to express their appreciation more going forward. If you feel taken for granted, if you don’t feel appreciated, speak up, share how you are feeling.
One of the reasons it is so important to say something is because if you do not process these feelings of being unappreciated in a healthy way they will almost certainly turn into feelings of anger and resentment. It’s not fair to you or to the other person to harbor these feelings in secret.
It is of course possible that none of that will work. Unfortunately, some people only begin to appreciate who you are and what you do for them if you stop. Sometimes you have to take a break and sometimes you have to stop forever, depending on how dysfunctional the situation is. But when the situation is one of chronic disregard and lack of appreciation, stop doing what you feel is unappreciated for a day, a week, a month, as long as it takes to get the person’s honest attention.
Another mistake we are in danger of making when we don’t feel appreciated is to focus on those feelings and forget to express our appreciation for others. You know how it feels when you go to great effort and nobody notices. It can be incredibly disheartening.
Express your appreciation to the people in your life and the strangers that pass through your life. There are hundreds of ways to do it. Find a way that works for you. Some people like to speak their appreciation, others are more comfortable writing letters. A kind word of encouragement, a hug that lasts a little longer than usual, a small gift, a note, buying someone lunch, small acts of service, spending quality time with people, are all ways to signal to people “I see you. I appreciate you. I am grateful for the ways you make my life a little easier and enjoyable.”
And one last thing… Be specific when you express your appreciation. Rather than saying, “I appreciate all you do for me” say “One of the things I really appreciate is how you…” Name something specific that you appreciate.”
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“There Must Be More To Life?”
Reclaim: What Do You Need to Reclaim? - Matthew Kelly
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Stress? Worry? Anxiety?
Understanding Anxiety, Stress, Regrets, Worry, and Violated Boundaries - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“A psychology professor walked around his classroom full of students holding a glass of water with his arm straightened out to the side. He asked his students, “How heavy is this glass of water?”
The students started to shout out guesses–ranging anywhere from four ounces to one pound.
The professor replied, “The absolute weight of this glass isn’t what matters while I’m holding it. Rather, it’s the amount of time that I hold onto it that makes an impact.
“If I hold it for, say, two minutes, it doesn’t feel like much of a burden. If I hold it for an hour, its weight may become more apparent as my muscles begin to tire. If I hold it for an entire day–or week–my muscles will cramp and I’ll likely feel numb or paralyzed with pain, making me feel miserable and unable to think about anything aside from the pain that I’m in.
In all of these cases, the actual weight of the glass will remain the same, but the longer I clench onto it, the heavier it feels to me and the more burdensome it is to hold.”
The class understood and shook their heads in agreement.
The professor continued to say, “This glass of water can represent a lot of things. It can represent the worries and stresses that you carry around with you every day. It can represent regret that you feel over things that you wish you did or didn’t do. And it can be the burden you carry of boundaries violated again and again and again. If you think about them for a few minutes and then put them aside, it’s not a heavy burden to bear. If you think about them a little longer, you will start to feel the impacts of the stress. If you carry these things with you all day, you will become incapacitated, prohibiting you from doing anything else until you let them go.”
It’s time to return to a right relationship with your worries, your stresses, your past, the people in your life. Don’t give them your entire attention while your life is passing you by.”
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The Biggest Obstacle to Prayer
The Purpose and Goal of Prayer - Be Still and Know that I am God: Part Two - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The goal and purpose of prayer is union with God. The great saints and mystics of every age spoke of the ecstasy they experience when they were in this state of connection with God. They described it as being like no other joy this life has to offer.
But most people never experience the mystical ecstasy of prayer. Why do you think that is? Do you think those mystics and saints were God’s favorites? I don’t. Do you believe that they had those experiences because they were better people? It has always been taught that those experiences were freely given by God and not the result of some merit that some people earn and others don’t. Do you believe that you could experience the ecstasy of prayer? I do. I believe you can, and I believe God wants you to experience the ecstasy of prayer.
You are a human being… delicate composition and body and soul, carefully linked by the will and the intellect. Jesus said, “The kingdom of God is within you.” And we believe that the Holy Spirit resides within us.
Your soul is very still. Your conscious mind is always and constantly being distracted. The first thing we need to do when we come to prayer is to allow the conscious mind to settle, to become still, to rest.
Now imagine that this hand represents the soul. The soul is always very still, like the deepest parts of the ocean, it is astoundingly still even in the midst of our frantic and frenetic lives.
Next, imagine this other hand represents the conscious mind. Always being distracted.
The first challenge when we come to prayer is to still the mind. To slow down, calm down, be still and quiet. This is what makes union with God possible and the ecstasy of prayer possible.
Most people don’t have a chance, because we pray how we live.
“Listen us God, your servant is speaking… I want this and this and this, and why did you let that happen, and if you do that again I’m never coming to church again. Have a good day God.”
When we pray like that, has our mind slowed down? Absolutely not. In fact there is a chance it has become even more distracted than at many times during our days.
This is why people stop praying. Because they have never really prayed. They have never experienced the joy and the peace and the ecstasy of prayer. They pray like they live – frenetically and frantically – and they pray that way for a year, two years, a decade or two, and then they stop praying and spend the rest of their lives believing that prayer doesn’t work, etc. But tragically, they have never experienced the gifts of prayer.
It’s time to start praying differently. Time to start living how we pray.
This allows us to become aware of God’s presence… he doesn’t show up when we are still. The passage doesn’t say, be still and God will show up. He is always and already present, but we are unaware of his presence, and unaware of most of the ways he makes himself present in our lives. The stillness and the quiet allows us to become aware of his powerful presence within us, in the world, in history, etc.
Let me repeat what I said in Part One of this series…
It is incredibly difficult just to be still. But I firmly believe that if we will sit still enough and quiet enough for long enough God will reveal himself to us in amazing ways. But I don’t want you to take my word for it, I want you to try it. Put it to the test.
Find a quiet place and a chair that is comfortable, but not a comfy chair that you are going to sink into. Sit still, perfectly still, and quiet, for as long as you can… and see what happens!”
If you have not read LI
The Power of Stillness
Be Still and Know that I am God: Part One - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
““Be Still and Know that I am God.” This is one of the most powerful lines in the Bible. It comes from Psalm 46: 10 and I find it beautiful and compelling, fascinating and challenging.
The first thing that strikes me is that God didn’t say, “Be quiet and know that I am God” or “Be yourself and know that I am God” or any of the infinite number of other possibilities.
What this tells me is that movement in excess prevents us from knowing God. Rushing here and there all the time is an obstacle to knowing God. That’s a problem, because it is so easy to fall into the frantic and frenetic way of life in today’s world.
Are our lives frenetic and frantic? I think the great majority of people would say yes. And that’s a problem.
Why? Well, let’s take a look at the definitions of these two words.
The definition of frantic is: wild or distraught with fear, anxiety, or other emotion.
The definition of frenetic is: fast and energetic in a rather wild and uncontrolled way.
Is this really how we want to live our lives? I think the answer for most people is no. But we need get still enough for long enough to recognize the insanity of our ways.
It is incredibly difficult just to be still. But I firmly believe that if we will sit still enough and quiet enough for long enough God will reveal himself to us in amazing ways. But I don’t want you to take my word for it, I want you to try it. Put it to the test.
Find a quiet place and a chair that is comfortable, but not a comfy chair that you are going to sink into. Sit still, perfectly still, and quiet, for as long as you can… and see what happens!”
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Not Enough Hours In The Day?
6 Ways to Reduce Multi-Tasking and Avoid Burnout - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Do you feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day? Ever feel like you are exhausted but didn’t get anything done? Maybe it’s time to start practicing the good old-fashioned wisdom of doing one thing at a time. There is much joy to be found in starting and completing a task.
Constantly switching from one task to another, also known as multi-tasking, is exhausting, stressful, and one of the leading causes of anxiety in our lives. Here are six ways to reduce multi-tasking in your life:
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Make a list of things to accomplish today.
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Work through the list one task at a time. Focus on accomplishing each item until completed.
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Check your email, voicemail, and text messages only between tasks.
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Block notifications and silence your phone.
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Create an environment that is conducive to what is most important.
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Take regular breaks. Nobody can concentrate endlessly.
It’s time to stop rapidly bouncing between tasks and focus on one thing at a time. It’s time to start enjoying the benefits of doing one thing at a time. Try it. It’s an amazing feeling.”
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The Power of Single Tasking - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The fastest way to do many things is to do them one at a time.
The ability to focus for extended periods of time is a very powerful skill, and one that is become increasingly rare in our society. People who are able to focus on one thing at a time have a major advantage in a world crippled by multi-tasking. Single-tasking is a skill worth nurturing.
The power of single-tasking is that it forces us to decide what matters most and give it priority. This unleashes positive effects on every area of our lives.
Here are some of the benefits of single-tasking. People who focus on one task at a time are happier, less anxious, more productive, have more energy and enthusiasm, are more fulfilled, less stressed, more creative, more disciplined, have longer attention spans, are better communicators, and they have better relationships.
What exactly is single-tasking? The practice of dedicating oneself to a given task and minimizing potential interruptions and distractions for the appropriate period of time.
Multi-tasking is ruining our brains, destroying our lives, and undermining our relationships. Single-tasking is the key to doing your best work, improving your relationships, and eliminating much of the stress and anxiety from your life.
Multi-tasking is a temptation and a myth. The busier you are, the more you have to do, the more you should employ single-tasking. Try doing one thing at a time, through to completion. You’ll be amazed just how powerful this simple principle is. Start unleashing the power of single-tasking in your life today.”
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Feeling Anxious?
Multi-Tasking is a Myth - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Have you been feeling anxious lately? Multitasking may be the cause.
The truth is, there is no such thing as multi-tasking. We may think we are doing two things at once, but what we are actually doing is switching rapidly from one task and another. It is simply impossible to do two things at once. The human mind can only focus on one thing at a time.
This bouncing back and forth between tasks (that we call multitasking) is massively inefficient. You actually get less done and the quality of what you get done suffers. What we call multi-tasking leads to more mistakes, less creativity, lower productivity, and is one of the main causes of anxiety in our lives today.
The sad thing is multitasking has taken over our lives. A study conducted by Harvard Psychologists discovered that on average people spend 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they are actually doing. This includes the time we spend with the people we love the most.
On average, people spend 40% of their day multitasking with email and instant messages alone. Most people cannot go for more than six minutes without checking their messages.
Studies have found that the average person switches tasks every 3 minutes.
Mark Twain observed, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
Multi-tasking is a myth. So now, let’s take a look at the power of single-tasking.“
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Want to Feel Amazing Again?
5 Ways to Increase Your Enthusiasm - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“When was the last time you felt amazing? Trauma, sickness, anxiety, depression, loss—so many things rob us of our enthusiasm for life. And after difficult seasons in our lives, it is natural to wonder if we will ever feel amazing again.
Here are five concrete things you can do to infuse your daily life with enthusiasm:
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Prioritize your legitimate needs. Diet, exercise, sleep, and prayer all increase your capacity for enthusiasm. Take a walk today, make a healthy meal, get to bed early, and watch your enthusiasm begin to grow!
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Schedule 15 minutes every day to do something you love doing. Why are children so consistently enthusiastic? Because they do so many things every day just for the joy of it. You don’t have to spend all day doing something you love, start small, fifteen minutes a day.
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Say “no” to people, activities, and things that drain your energy and enthusiasm. Develop an awareness of who and what drains your enthusiasm. Protect your enthusiasm by learning to say, “no.”
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Spend time with enthusiastic people. We rise or fall to the level of our friends in most things. Who are the most enthusiastic people you know? Are you spending enough time with those people? Your enthusiasm is probably the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If you wish to raise your level of enthusiasm in life, surround yourself with enthusiastic people.
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Dream. Your dreams are your dreams for a reason. Our dreams animate us, they literally breathe new life into us. So, what are your dreams and what are you doing about them? Start pursuing your dreams and they will fill you with new passion, energy, enthusiasm, and vitality.
It’s time to rediscover your enthusiasm and flourish. And just remember, everyone who really cares about you wants you to flourish.”
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The Fountain of Youth: The Secret to Staying Young? - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Do you want to know the secret of youth? I met a guy last year and he was so full of enthusiasm. I thought to myself, “This is the most enthusiastic 65-year-old I have ever met.” Turned out he was 87-years-old. Enthusiasm keeps us young.
Enthusiasm is the fountain of youth. Surround yourself with people, experiences, videos, and books, that fill you with enthusiasm. Avoid people, experiences, videos, and books, that steal your enthusiasm.
If your enthusiasm was a valuable material possession, you wouldn’t let someone walk into your house and steal it. So why let someone on television steal your enthusiasm? Why willingly agree to go to an event that is going to steal your enthusiasm for life?
Wake up each morning and do something that stokes the flames of enthusiasm within you. Then guard the flame of enthusiasm throughout the day. Enthusiasm is the secret to staying young.”
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Have You Been Hurt By A Narcissist?
Recovering from a Relationship with a Narcissist - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“If you’re trying to recover from a relationship with a Narcissist, the most important thing for you to understand us that You Never Had a Chance. It is a truth that is both tragically sad and amazingly liberating. Sad because you have and are suffering. Liberating because it proves that there is absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent this relationship from failing. It is not your fault. The first truth about being in a relationship with a Narcissist: You never had a chance.
I set this conversation in the past, because I hope you have ended your relationship with the Narcissist in your life. But the truth is you may work with him, you may have children with her, and even if you never have to see or speak to your Narcissist ever again, that person will always be in your life. I’m sorry, but that’s just the cold, harsh, truth. So, let’s put it out there and deal with it. There is no point pretending.
Narcissists have plagued my life. They have hurt me in ways I didn’t even know was possible. It is dizzying how quickly a Narcissist can move from charm to harm, and back to charm again… and then pretend that the harm never took place… or that it was your fault.
Just don’t be drawn into the state of mind that gets you thinking you could have done something to save that relationship. Remember the first truth about being in a relationship with a Narcissist: You never had a chance. Understanding this is the first step to recovering from a relationship with a Narcissist.”
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9 Ways to Tell if Someone is a Narcissist - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The term Narcissist is definitely overused in society today. If someone doesn’t like another person or get their way, they are quick to say, “He is such a Narcissist!” or “She is such a Narcissist!” At the same time, it does seem that the self-referential nature of our culture lends itself to more and more Narcissistic behavior, and that the number of Narcissists is increasing in society.
We all have Narcistic tendencies, but that’s different to being a Narcissist. So how do you know if someone is a certifiable Narcissist – that is someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) – or just immature, self-absorbed, or selfish?
Experts seem to agree that as many as one-third of the population are Narcissists, but it is quite rare for someone to be officially diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The Diagnostic Manual for Mental Disorders (5th Edition) states that in order for a person to be diagnosed with NPD, that person must exhibit five or more of these nine criteria, and at least one aspect of their life must be impaired by these behaviors. The nine criteria are:
- Exaggerates own importance
- Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence or ideal romance
- Believes he or she is special and can only be understood by other special people or institutions
- Requires constant attention and admiration from others
- Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
- Takes advantage of others to reach his or her own goals
- Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
- Is often envious of others or believes other people are envious of him or her
- Shows arrogant behaviors and attitudes
If you are being abused at the hands of a Narcissist, recovering from the abuse of a Narcissist, or someone you love is in one of these situations a great place to start is by taking inventory of the nine criteria above.
I would encourage you to do it on two levels. First, just yes or no, answer from the gut, “Does he exaggerates his own importance?” Yes or no. Don’t over think it. “Is she preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence or ideal romance?” Yes or no. Work your way through the list and see how many of the criteria your Narcissist displays. Remember, someone can be a Narcissist and not technically have NPD. So just because your Narcissist only displays three of the criteria doesn’t mean he or she is not a Narcissist.
Next, go back through the list of nine criteria and identify specific examples of where you personally witnessed that behavior and write them down. Don’t make excuses for the Narcissist in your life. It’s amazing how many excuses we make for Narcissists. Earlier I used the word abuse. How did you respond when you heard that word? It’s amazing how often people will say, “Well, it’s not really abuse.” That’s why Narcissist’s get away with all they get away with for so long, because we downplay it, pretend it isn’t serious, and make excuses for them. We say things like, “She had a really tough childhood.” So? A lot of people have tough childhoods and don’t grow up to take it out on others by abusing them verbally, emotionally, psychologically, or physically.
Narcissism is real. We all have at least one Narcissist in our lives, and it is past time that we started to understand what drives them and how they are impacting our emotional health and our lives in general.”
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10 Things to Teach Your Child About Money - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We need money and use money every day, but it seems nobody every receives an adequate education about how to earn, save, give, spend, and invest money. Most people regret not having learnt more about money earlier in their lives. The majority of adults wish they were more knowledgeable about personal finances, and only 57 percent of Americans are considered financially literate. When is the right time to talk to your child about money? Now and always.
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The First Rule. Spend less than you make. This simple rule will save you so much stress and suffering. Live moderately. Control your expenses. Live below your means, all wise men and women do.
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Become a Saver. Save 10% of everything you ever earn. If you do you will be financially independent one day, and that is a beautiful thing. Start today. Save 10% of every dollar that comes your way from chores, birthday gifts, etc. Nobody ever regretted developing the habit of saving.
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Buying. Before you buy anything, reflect on how hard you had to work to earn the money you are about to spend. Don’t confuse wants with needs. The person who needs the least has the most.
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Invest. Invest first in yourself. The number one way wealthy people invested in themselves long before they were wealthy is by reading books. 86% of the wealthy love reading versus 26% of the poor. If you want to be financially independent someday become a reader. Commit yourself to learning more about money, personal finances, and the wisdom of wealth every year for the rest of your life. Learn how to put your money to work, so that your savings work for you even when you are sleeping.
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Debt is a form of slavery. It is one of the major forms of stress in many people’s lives. Debt doesn’t solve problems, it creates them. You cannot borrow your way to happiness, wealth, or success.
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Compound Interest. Learn about the power of compound interest. If you save $5 a day every day of your life to the age of 65 and invest it at a compounding rate of 9%, you will have over seven million dollars.
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The Best Things. The best things in life really are free. It’s true. Never lose sight of it. Here are a handful of examples: true love, Sundays, laughter, friendship, work you love doing, nature, hugs and kisses, waking up to a new day, feeling healthy, rain, watching the sunset.
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Overspending. Emotionally healthy people consume less than emotionally insecure and unhealthy people. Never buy anything to make yourself feel good. Overspending is a disease. If you get sick with the disease, get help immediately. Don’t wait until it takes over your life, destroys your relationships, and make you physically sick. If you are not free to say no, you are not free to say yes.
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Future Income. Don’t just work for money, make your money work for you. Save and invest to ensure that you have income in the future. Contribute to your retirement plan as soon as you start working, buy a rental property, invest in a business. Ensure a future income for yourself and your family.
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Generosity. Decide to be a generous person. No matter how little you have, always look for ways to be generous with others. The joy of giving elevates the soul.
Get your child three jars and help them make labels: SAVE, SPEND, GIVE. Encourage him/her to put ten percent of any money they receive in the save jar, ten percent in the give jar, and eighty percent in the spend jar. Teach them to enjoy earning, saving, giving, and spending.
Teaching your child about money is a gift that will pay dividends every day for the rest of their lives. It doesn’t matter how much money a person makes, if he/she doesn’t not know how to manage it wisely&
10 Things to Teach Your Child About God - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Whatever your hopes and dreams are for your child, the more connected they are to the wisdom of God, the better chance your child has of growing into the amazing person you and God want him/her to be. When is the right time to teach your child about God? Now and always.
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God’s Dream. God has a dream for you. God created you to become the-best-version-of-yourself! As your father/mother, that’s my dream for you too. When you ask me if you can do something or have something, I ask myself if it will help you become a-better-version-of-yourself.
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The Wisdom of God. The more you adopt the wisdom of God the happier you will be. When we reject God’s wisdom, in a mysterious way we reject ourselves. Alienation from God is alienation from self. If you are ever unhappy, begin by asking, is there an obstacle between myself and God?
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God Answers Our Prayers. God answers every prayer. Sometimes with a yes, sometimes with a no, sometimes with a maybe, and sometimes with not now. God’s answer is always in your best interests. Always. God reasons may not always be apparent, but God always has a reason for what he does.
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Decision Making. When you have a big decision to make, turn to God for advice and wisdom. Constantly seek the answer to this question: God, what do you think I should do?
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The Voice of God. Learn to listen to God’s voice. God is always speaking to us in more ways than we can imagine. The question is, are we listening?
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Talk to God. Throughout your day, keep a conversation going with God. Talk to him about what brings you joy and what makes you sad, talk to him about school and work, talk to him about decisions you are making. Just talk to him. When you talk to me, it brings be great joy. When you talk to God it brings him great joy.
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God Loves You. God is your Father. You are a child of God not an orphan of the world. He created you and he loves you no matter what. There are many things in life that change, but not this. Nothing you can do can change God’s love for you, or cause him to stop loving you or love you less. When you love someone you want good things for that person, and God wants good things for you even more than you want them for yourself. God values love above everything else. When we are at our best, so do we.
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The Spirit of God. The Spirit of God is tender, caring, courageous, generous, and loving. The spirit of the world is harsh, impersonal, uncaring, fearful, stingy, and selfish. You get to decide which spirit guides and rules your life. One leads to clarity and happiness and the other leads to confusion and misery.
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Goodness. God cherishes goodness and there is a tremendous capacity for good in you. Nurture the goodness that God has placed within you, share it with the people who cross your path, and never stop looking for ways to do the most good for the most people with your life.
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Knowing God. Learning about God fills our souls with joy, and brings clarity to our hearts and minds. Never stop learning about God. And yet, for everything we know about God, it is still just a drop in the ocean compared to what we don’t know about God. God is a mystery to be enjoyed and reverenced.
Wisdom is the key to all we hope and dream for our children. By teaching them about God we are teaching them how to connect with the source of wisdom. Teaching your child about God is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give him/her. Next time your child asks for something, rather than saying, “Let me think about that” say “Let me pray about that.” Something this simple teaches your child that you consult God in your decisions and will encourage him/her to do the same.”
If you&
The Ultimate Life Hack: The 80/20 Principle Will Change Your Life! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“A life hack is a simple yet ingenious way of accomplishing something. But life hacks typically only apply to one specific task. The 80/20 Principle was the original life-hack and remains the ultimate life-hack, because it applies to just about everything.
What is the 80/20 Principle? Also known as Pareto’s Law, the 80/20 Principle asserts that 80% of outcomes are the result of 20% of causes. The idea has been popular in business for a long time. For example, in business 80% of profits may be produced by 20% of products, or 20% of customers might account for 80% of sales. But the 80/20 Principle can be found almost everywhere you turn. 20% of drivers cause 80% of accidents. 80% of crimes are committed by 20% of criminals. 20% of words account for 80% of word use. 80% of pollution originates from 20% of factories. 20% of patients use 80% of health-care resources.
But what does all this mean to you and your everyday activity? It means that 20% of your activities produce 80% of the positive results in your life. Do you know which activities make up the 20%? Because knowing that will change your life.
It’s all about focusing on the vital few rather than the trivial many. But the reality is most we of us tend to focus on the trivial many and neglect the vital few. We give our best time, attention, and energy to the things that matter least, and procrastinate about the things that matter most. We spend our lives doing the urgent things, rather than the important things.
Let me explain it in even more practical terms. Eight out of ten things on your to do list will add little value to your life. Or to look at it more positively, two of the ten things on your to do list will add more value than the other eight combined.
Two are worth more than the other eight, but the tragic truth is we keep ourselves always busy with the trivial many and neglect the vital few.
Would you like to accomplish more by doing less? If so, make the 80/20 principle your new best friend. Resist the temptation to do all the little things first, start each day with whatever matters most. Give that your best time, effort, attention, and energy.
Your future self will thank you.”
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The 7 BEST Qualities in a WOMAN - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Sooner or later, we rise or fall to the level of the people we choose to surround ourselves. More than 40,000 people were asked what they thought the best qualities in a woman are, and this is what they said:
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Kind
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Honest
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Authentic
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Classy
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Loyal
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Fun
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Supportive
Each of these qualities is an invitation to change and grow. Being around people who are striving to improve is inspiring, and we all need to be inspired on a regular basis. This is the ultimate compliment, “Being with her makes me want to be a better person!”
So, don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself!”
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The 7 BEST Qualities in a MAN - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
"Sooner or later, we rise or fall to the level of the people we choose to surround ourselves. More than 40,000 people were asked what they thought the best qualities in a man are, and this is what they said:
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Kindness
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Integrity
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A Sense of Humor
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Confidence
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Loyal
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Respectful
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Appreciative
Each of these qualities is an invitation to change and grow. Being around people who are striving to improve is inspiring, and we all need to be inspired on a regular basis. This is the ultimate compliment, “Being with him makes me want to be a better person!”
So, don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself!"
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The 7 WORST Qualities in a WOMAN - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Nobody’s perfect, but some people are trying harder than others to improve and grow. Knowing what you are looking for in a woman is one thing, but sometimes knowing what to avoid is equally important. More than 40,000 people were asked what they thought the worst qualities in a woman are, and this is what they said:
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Manipulative
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Self-Centered
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Unfaithful
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Mean
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Superficial
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Complaining
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Entitled
The good news is that human beings have an incredible ability to change and grow. The problem is that many people don’t change, don’t grow, and don’t care that they are not changing and growing. And perhaps that’s the worst quality in men and women.
Don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself!”
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The 7 WORST Qualities in a MAN - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Nobody’s perfect, but some people are trying harder than others to improve and grow. Knowing what you are looking for in a man is one thing, but sometimes knowing what to avoid is equally important. More than 40,000 people were asked what they thought the worst qualities in a man are, and this is what they said:
-
Selfish
-
Unfaithful
-
Inconsiderate
-
Unreliable
-
Mean
-
Immoral
-
Apathetic
The good news is that human beings have an incredible ability to change and grow. The problem is that many people don’t change, don’t grow, and don’t care that they are not changing and growing. And perhaps that’s the worst quality in men and women.
Don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself!”
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The Quintessential Life Skill
Love of Learning: The #1 Thing I Want for My Children at School - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Sometimes modern education seems like a form of brutality. To educate children requires strength, but it also requires a gentleness. Their little souls need to be handled with care. We are all different, we all develop at different speeds, and we all have different gifts. When we try to force all children into the same mold it bruises their little spirits and often kills their love of learning.
When we go for parent-teacher conferences there is one thing I always share with our children’s teachers, “Our number one priority is fostering their love of learning. As parents we want to collaborate with you (the teachers) in that great mission.”
To love learning is a thing a of beauty, a great gift, something to marvel at. If a child loses his or her love of learning it is so difficult to help them get it back.
I really don’t care if my child is first in the class or last in the class. I am more interested in helping them to develop a love of learning. If they love learning, I believe they will learn every day for the rest of their lives, and they will live rich and full lives.
Love of learning is a quintessential life skill. If you have lost it, it times to reclaim it.”
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A Love Story
Do You Know Something I Don’t Know? – A Love Story - Matthew Kelly
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The Six Second Kiss Theory
The Six Second Kiss: Improve Your Relationship in 84 Seconds - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Do you want to improve your relationship? How much time are you willing to invest to improve it? If six seconds could transform your relationship, would you be willing?
What you need is the six second kiss. Kiss your partner for six seconds. Six seconds is longer than you think and most kisses last less than one second. One second is long enough for a passing connection and that’s what most couples have – a passing connection.
The six second kiss… reduces stress by reducing the stress hormone cortisol, increases enthusiasm for life by releasing the love hormone oxytocin, builds an intentional bond between you and your partner, it’s an exercise in mindfulness, and creates a ritual connection. Couples that kiss for longer are healthier, happier, and appreciate each other more.
So, kiss your partner twice a day for six seconds. That’s 84 seconds a week. Make the six second kiss a habit in your relationship and you will be amazed how it transforms your relationship.”
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Essentialism: The Cure for Overwhelmed - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“If you feel overwhelmed, overcommitted, or overworked, essentialism is the cure for you. Greg McKeown calls essentialism “the disciplined pursuit of less.” It’s about setting aside the trivial many, so that you can embrace and enjoy the vital few.
Have you ever considered that you might be happier if… you had less material possessions; didn’t say yes to so many commitments; spent more time with fewer people; and had some whitespace on your calendar to be spontaneous. If so, essentialism is for you.
It’s time to stop letting other people hijack your schedule. It’s time to stop obsessing about productivity all the time. It’s time to stop watching one season change into another while you wonder, “Where did the time go?”
Say no to the trivial many and focus on the vital few. Become an essentialist. It is the cure for the insanity of our modern lives.”
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The Expectations You Can’t Meet Gap: The Real Heartbreaker - Matthew Kelly - Floyd Consulting
How Healthy is Your Culture at Work? Take this free Culture Assessment and let's find out. You will receive a customized report and action plan in your email box minutes after you complete this short assessment. https://www.floydconsulting.com/culture
This Series is based on the book THE CULTURE SOLUTION by NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and founder of FLOYD CONSULTING Matthew Kelly.
If you are looking for a life-coach, a business coach, or an executive coach, contact Floyd today: https://www.FloydConsulting.com/coaching
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You Are Chronically Dehydrated
The Water Challenge - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“If you don’t drink enough water, it is impossible to be healthy, and yet, the average person is chronically dehydrated and most are not even aware of it.
How much water should you drink each day? It’s a complex question, but we should be drinking at least eight glasses a day. But the Average American drinks less than four cups of water a day.
How do you know if you are drinking enough water? There are two main indicators: You rarely feel thirsty and your urine is near colorless.
What happens if you don’t drink enough water? Lack of water leads to dehydration and the effects of dehydration on our health are disastrous. Dehydration is a factor in almost every disease.
So, here’s the challenge, drink at least eight glasses of water each day for a month. Track how many glasses of water your drink each day for a month. You will be amazed how just drinking more water can make you feel more fully alive.
And remember… don’t just be yourself… be the-best-version-of-yourself!”
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Expectations & Accountability
Leading with Clear Expectations - Matthew Kelly - Floyd Consulting
How Healthy is Your Culture at Work? Take this free Culture Assessment and let's find out. You will receive a customized report and action plan in your email box minutes after you complete this short assessment. https://www.floydconsulting.com/culture
This Series is based on the book THE CULTURE SOLUTION by NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and founder of FLOYD CONSULTING Matthew Kelly.
If you are looking for a life-coach, a business coach, or an executive coach, contact Floyd today: https://www.FloydConsulting.com/coaching
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Essentialists Vs. Non-Essentialists
Essentialism: The Difference Between an Essentialist and a Non-Essentialist - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Are you an essentialist? Maybe you are, maybe you’re not, and maybe you’re not sure. So, let’s take a look at the difference between and essentialist and a non-essentialist.
The non-essentialist rushes around trying to be all things to all people. The essentialist tries to be a great friend to a few people. The non-essentialist engages in the undisciplined pursuit of more. The essentialist engages in the disciplined pursuit of less. The non-essentialist is never satisfied. The essentialist has taken the time to explore what will deliver contentment.
The non-essentialist thinks, “I have to.” The essentialist thinks, “I choose to.”
The non-essentialist thinks, “It’s all important.” The essentialist thinks, “Only a few things really matter.”
The non-essentialist is constantly reacting to what’s urgent. The essentialist focuses on what’s important.
The non-essentialist says yes without really think about it. The essentialist says no to everything except what is essential.
The non-essentialist takes on too much and does nothing well. The essentialist does less and delivers excellence.
The non-essentialist’s life feels out of control. The essentialist’s life feels measured and manageable.
The non-essentialist feels constantly overwhelmed and exhausted. The essentialist has learned to enjoy the journey.”
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Managing Expectations - Matthew Kelly - Floyd Consulting
How Healthy is Your Culture at Work? Take this free Culture Assessment and let's find out. You will receive a customized report and action plan in your email box minutes after you complete this short assessment. https://www.floydconsulting.com/culture
This Series is based on the book THE CULTURE SOLUTION by NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and founder of FLOYD CONSULTING Matthew Kelly.
If you are looking for a life-coach, a business coach, or an executive coach, contact Floyd today: https://www.FloydConsulting.com/coaching
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The Missing Piece of Your Puzzle - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle without an important piece is incredibly frustrating. That is the story of millions of people’s lives. Day after day they are frustrated, but they don’t realize they are missing a piece. They drive themselves crazy trying to put the puzzle of their own lives together without that critical piece.
The essential piece most people are missing is a vibrant spirituality.
You’re a human being, a delicate composition of body and soul, mysteriously linked by the will and the intellect. The important word here is soul. You have a soul. It is literally your life force. When it leaves your body, you die.
It’s time to start paying more attention to your soul. Think about these four aspects of the human person: body, soul, will, intellect. We are obsessed with three of them: body, will, and intellect. We pamper our bodies, vigorously defend our right to decide the path we walk, and celebrate our individual and collective intellectual accomplishments. Yet, we often ignore the most important, the soul. Have you been taking care of your soul? Rate yourself between one and ten. Most of us neglect the soul in favor of the body. The body is constantly barking orders at us: Feed me, wash me, clothe me, pleasure me, feed me again, and so on. The body makes a continuous stream of demands upon us. The soul, on the other hand, is quiet and faithful. When the soul is hungry, our stomach doesn’t rumble and growl. But it is important to feed our soul each day.
Yes, each day. How many days has it been since you intentionally fed your soul? You are a spiritual being having a physical experience in this world. Feeding your soul is the missing piece of the puzzle. There is no better time than right now to nurture your inner life, discover your spiritual needs, and feed your soul.
It is time to stop ignoring our souls. The soul integrates and harmonizes every aspect of our humanity. It reorients us toward what matters most.”
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The Expectations Gap - Matthew Kelly - Floyd Consulting
How Healthy is Your Culture at Work? Take this free Culture Assessment and let's find out. You will receive a customized report and action plan in your email box minutes after you complete this short assessment. https://www.floydconsulting.com/culture
This Series is based on the book THE CULTURE SOLUTION by NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and founder of FLOYD CONSULTING Matthew Kelly.
If you are looking for a life-coach, a business coach, or an executive coach, contact Floyd today: https://www.FloydConsulting.com/coaching
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What is Essentialism? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Essentialism is about giving priority to what matters most and letting go of what matters least. It’s about asking the question: What is essential for your health, happiness, and wholeness? And it’s about choosing the people and things that are essential for your health, happiness, and wholeness over the many trivial and superficial time and energy vampires that suck all the passion and purpose from life.
Are you ready to give priority to what is essential? Are you ready to start saying no to all the stuff that in the long run won’t mean anything to anyone? Does the idea appeal to you? Does just hearing about it stir your soul? Then maybe, just maybe, it’s time you became an essentialist.
Maybe a little less in almost every area of your life is the secret to the rare fulfillment that we all yearn for but so few of us find.”
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The Best Is Yet to Come! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Is your life unfolding the way you thought it would? I was paging through my high school yearbook recently. There were 161 young men in my graduating class, and fewer than a handful are doing what they thought, hoped, or dreamed they would be doing. Most of them are glad. When they were seventeen or eighteen, they didn’t know themselves well enough to decide what they were going to do for the rest of their lives.
Life doesn’t turn out the way we expect. In some ways it exceeds our expectations, and in other ways it disappoints them. There may be hopes and dreams that were part of the life we expected that we need to grieve because they didn’t materialize. But there are also hopes and dreams we had when we were younger that we are glad did not come to be. We see now that we were ill-suited for them, and they were ill-suited for us. At the same time, there are things about the unexpected life that surprise and delight.
Life doesn’t unfold as we plan. We all live unexpected lives in one way or another. But sooner or later, we have to decide how we are going to make the most of the unexpected life. It is then that we come face-to-face with two enduring truths: We cannot live without the hope that things will change for the better, and we are not victims of our circumstances.
You are not what has happened to you. You are not what you have accomplished. You are not even who you are today or who you have become so far. You are who and what you are still capable of becoming. You are your realized and unrealized potential. God sees you and all your potential, and he aches to see you embrace your best, truest, highest self. He yearns to help you and to accompany you in that quest.
Wherever you are, whatever you’re feeling, however life has surprised and disappointed you, I want to remind you of one thing: The best is yet to come! There are times in life when this is easier or harder to believe, but the best is truly yet to come. Open yourself up to it, so you can see it and embrace it when it emerges!”
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Is Your Life Working? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Is your life working? It’s a simple question, really. We cannot look at another person’s life and know, but most of the time, we know how well our own life is (or isn’t) working.
When we reflect upon our lives, we usually discover that in some ways they are functioning well and in other ways they are dysfunctional. What does this mean for you? It means in some ways you are flourishing, but in other ways you are experiencing dissatisfaction. God is speaking to you through that dissatisfaction. You can learn to live with your discontent, or you can accept it as an invitation.
The danger zone is marked by comfort. This is where things aren’t great, but they aren’t horrible either, so you just continue to muddle along. We gravitate toward comfort, and it’s amazing how comfortable we can get with things that are uncomfortable or worse. The thought of something new and unknown activates our resistance and hesitancy. These are mental, emotional, and spiritual obstacles that we all need to push through in order to move from surviving to thriving. Are you thriving or just surviving? It’s time to stop muddling along.
If your life isn’t working, what are you willing to do about it? Are you open to trying something new? These videos are an invitation to flourish and thrive like never before.”
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What’s Your Personal Brand?
What’s Your Personal Brand? - Matthew Kelly - Floyd Consulting
How Healthy is Your Culture at Work? Take this free Culture Assessment and let's find out. You will receive a customized report and action plan in your email box minutes after you complete this short assessment. https://www.floydconsulting.com/culture
This Series is based on the book THE CULTURE SOLUTION by NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and founder of FLOYD CONSULTING Matthew Kelly.
If you are looking for a life-coach, a business coach, or an executive coach, contact Floyd today: https://www.FloydConsulting.com/coaching
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There Are 3 Ways to Look at Work - Notre Dame Story - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“In 1163 a man was walking along the river Seine in Paris when he noticed a huge new building site. He approached the site and found men laying bricks. It was late in the afternoon, and the workers were tired and sweating.
He asked one worker, “What are you building here?” He replied, “I’m just laying bricks.”
He asked another worker, “What are you building here?” The worker scoffed and said to the man, “Are you blind? I’m building a wall.”
Frustrated, the man began to walk away, but as he turned he bumped into one of the other men, who was also laying bricks. “What are you building here?” he asked.
The builder stopped working. He stepped back and beckoned the man to do the same. Then, looking up toward the sky, he said, “We are building a cathedral.”
“Cathedrals are beautiful,” the onlooker commented.
“You have never seen a cathedral this beautiful,” the bricklayer replied. “This will be the finest cathedral the world has ever seen. It will tower above the city, men and women will marvel at it, and people will come from all over the world just to see it.”
It took 182 years to finish that cathedral. Those who began building it never got to see it completed. It is 420 feet long, 157 feet wide, and 300 feet high, and with all of France’s rich history, incredible sights, and phenomenal art, it is still the most visited attraction in France each year. With thirteen million annual visitors, that is almost twice as many as the Eiffel Tower and four million more than the Louvre.
It is the Notre-Dame Cathedral. Men and women of all faiths and no faith come to visit Notre-Dame de Paris and marvel.
There are three ways to look at life, three ways to look at work, if you’ve lost perspective take a few steps back and take in the big picture. You may be doing the wrong thing, or you may simply be looking at it the wrong way. Step back, get some perspective, and you will know.”
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The Dream Manager
Why Your Company Needs The Dream Manager - Matthew Kelly
How Healthy is Your Culture at Work? Take this free Culture Assessment and let's find out. You will receive a customized report and action plan in your email box minutes after you complete this short assessment. https://www.floydconsulting.com/culture
This Series is based on the book THE CULTURE SOLUTION by NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and founder of FLOYD CONSULTING Matthew Kelly.
If you are looking for a life-coach, a business coach, or an executive coach, contact Floyd today: https://www.FloydConsulting.com/coaching
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The Two Hungers - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“In A Moveable Feast, Ernest Hemmingway writes about the many types of hunger we experience. He wrote this about a nagging hunger that he couldn’t seem to satisfy, “My wife and I had a wonderful meal at Michaud’s, but when we had finished and there was no question of hunger any more the feeling that had been like hunger when we were standing on the bridge was still there. It was there when we came home and after we had gone to bed and made love in the dark, it was there. When I woke with the windows open and the moonlight on the rooftops of Paris, it was there. I put my face away from the moonlight into the shadow but I could not sleep and lay awake thinking about it. My wife slept sweetly now with the moonlight on her face. I had to try to think it out and I was too stupid. Life had seemed so simple that morning when I had wakened to the spring…”
We have all I suspect had similar experiences with hunger. To be human is to be hungry. Knowing what we truly hunger for is wisdom.
The Bushmen of the Kalahari Desert in Southern Africa talk about the “two hungers.” There is the Great Hunger and there is the Little Hunger. The Little Hunger yearns for food while the Great Hunger, the greatest hunger of all, is the hunger for meaning.
Laurens van der Post, the South African author and godfather to Prince William wrote, “There is ultimately only one thing that makes human beings deeply and profoundly bitter, and that is to have thrust upon them a life without meaning. There is nothing wrong in searching for happiness. But of far more comfort to the soul is something greater than happiness or unhappiness, and that is meaning. Because meaning transfigures all. Once what you are doing has meaning for you, it is irrelevant whether you’re happy or unhappy. You are content.”
What are you hungry for today?”
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Become a Culture Advocate
Culture Eats Strategy for Breakfast - Matthew Kelly - Floyd Consulting
How Healthy is Your Culture at Work? Take this free Culture Assessment and let's find out. You will receive a customized report and action plan in your email box minutes after you complete this short assessment. https://www.floydconsulting.com/culture
This Series is based on the book THE CULTURE SOLUTION by NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and founder of FLOYD CONSULTING Matthew Kelly.
If you are looking for a life-coach, a business coach, or an executive coach, contact Floyd today: https://www.FloydConsulting.com/coaching
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Does God Have a Sense of Humor? - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“THERE ARE SO MANY opportunities each day to catch a glimpse of the genius of God. One of my favorites is laughter. God is the genius behind humor and laughter. Laughter is essential to the human experience, and humor has been observed in every culture, in every place and time. Can you imagine life without laughter?
The goodness and genius of God is evident in laughter. Laughter is medicine for the body, mind, and soul. Its benefits are endless.
Modern medicine has discovered that laughter strengthens your immune system, improves mood, and diminishes pain. Laughter is a powerful form of stress relief. It burns calories, eases anxiety, reduces stress, and is a natural antidepressant. A good laugh relaxes the body, eases tension, and leaves your muscles relaxed for up to forty-five minutes. Laughter stimulates your heart and increases the number of endorphins released by your brain, which creates an overall sense of well-being. When you laugh, the amount of oxygen-rich air that rushes to your lungs increases. Laughter reduces blood pressure, increases blood flow, and can help protect you from a heart attack. It increases happiness, reduces anger and other negative emotions, and increases resilience in the face of obstacles and unpleasant events. Laughter increases our energy and enthusiasm for life. People who laugh regularly are more joyful and have healthier hearts. Humor improves personal satisfaction, strengthens relationships, helps defuse conflict, shifts our perspective, and attracts other people to us. Laughter connects us with others, makes our burdens seem lighter, and can reduce anger and conflict. It creates a sense of belonging and bonds people together. It enhances teamwork and improves productivity. Laughter and humor build trust, encourage collaboration, increase likability, draw people in to listen, improve memory and retention, make arguments more persuasive, and increase learning by reducing classroom anxiety. Laughter releases serotonin, which improves focus, decision making, problem solving, objectivity, open- ness to new ideas, and overall brainpower.
It took some really smart scientists to discover all this, but God is the genius who is alive and well in laughter.
All this may leave us wondering: Does God have a sense of humor?
Humor is essential to the human experience. Many of the most memorable and meaningful moments in life are humorous. But where is humor in our experience of God, religion, and spirituality?
If you read the life and teachings of Jesus as portrayed in the four Gospels, there is little evidence to suggest that he had a sense of humor. Do you believe that Jesus didn’t have a sense of humor? I believe he had a wonderful sense of humor. I imagine him walking down the dusty roads of Galilee with his disciples. Thirteen guys spending all that time together. There must have been some epic moments of humor. Wouldn’t you love to hear Jesus laugh? Wouldn’t you love to know what made him laugh and how he made others laugh?
For some reason, nobody thought it was important enough to record, and we have been making the same mistake by excluding humor and laughter from our relationship with God ever since. Just as humor is essential to the human experience, maybe it is also essential to our spiritual experience.
There is an old joke about making God laugh. It is often repeated and rarely questioned, but we will question it together now. “If you want to hear God laugh,” the joke goes, “tell him your plans.” If you think about it, this theory is tragically flawed. What kind of father would laugh at his children when they tell him their plans? In the joke God is laughing at us—or is he laughing at our plans, or our in
The Secret to Business - Matthew Kelly - Floyd Consulting
How Healthy is Your Culture at Work? Take this free Culture Assessment and let's find out. You will receive a customized report and action plan in your email box minutes after you complete this short assessment. https://www.floydconsulting.com/culture
This Series is based on the book THE CULTURE SOLUTION by NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author and founder of FLOYD CONSULTING Matthew Kelly.
If you are looking for a life-coach, a business coach, or an executive coach, contact Floyd today: https://www.FloydConsulting.com/coaching
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3 Things to Know About People - Roses and People - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time,” was Maya Angelou’s observation. I agree, and I disagree. If someone does something horrific, you don’t wait around for them to do it again. But there is a danger that we will be too quick to write people out of our lives.
I find it useful to distinguish between events and patterns. If somebody does something once, it’s an event. If a person does the same thing twice or three times, it becomes a pattern. Learning to recognize patterns in people’s behavior is essential in relationships, and not only other people’s patterns, but our own. What are your patterns of behavior? Good and bad?
There are good and bad patterns in each life. It is important to be mindful of this. Compulsive behavior, impulsive behavior, addiction, and physical and emotional abuse are all negative patterns that can have disastrous effects. But there is also an endless array of positive patterns that enrich a person’s life, and the lives of everyone close to them. Respect, continuous learning, exercise, a balanced diet, hard work, love, thoughtfulness, and appreciation are just a handful.
We reveal who we are with our actions. Don’t let someone’s apologies blind you to their actions, especially when their actions are clearly a pattern. Beware of patterns. When you see signs and red flags, don’t ignore them. People are constantly telling you about who they are with their actions. It may be time to start listening more carefully.
There are three things I know about roses: They are beautiful. They all have thorns. I’d rather live in a world with roses than a world without roses. There are three things I know about people: They are beautiful. They all have thorns. I’d rather live in a world with people than a world without people.”
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Make This Your Best Year Ever!
The BEST YEAR of YOUR LIFE: 25 Questions that Will Transform You and Your Life! - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Our lives are a response to the questions we ask. Toward the end of each year, I like to reflect on the year that has been and the year that is to come. I plan a little and dream a lot. Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve, I exchange questions with a group of friends. The questions are designed to encourage and challenge us to make the coming year amazing.
It’s amazing how the right question can change the direction of your life, provide instant and startling insight, and allow you to see things you have never seen before.
Here are the twenty-five questions I put together to share with my friends this year. I hope they lead you to new dreams, rare discoveries, and the best year of your life… so far!
1. When was the last time you felt fully alive?
2. What do you believe about your past that is keeping you from your future?
3. If you could only accomplish one thing next year what would you like it to be?
4. What needs to be on your NOT TO DO list next year?
5. What are you dissatisfied with at this time in your life?
6. What do you need most from your friends next year?
7. How do you want to feel differently one year from now than you do today?
8. Are you serious about making this the best year of your life?
9. Who do you want to help in powerful ways?
10. How do you feel about the year ahead right now? Is that how you want to feel about it all next year?
11. If you retired on December 31, what would you spend your time doing next year? What piece of that can you do even though you aren’t retiring?
12. What ten books do you want to read next year? Make a list. Check them off one at a time.
13. Who do you want to love more and better than ever before next year?
14. Have you given up on some part of your life? Which part? Why?
15 If you could vacation anywhere in the world next year, where would you go?
16. If you gave one thing away each day for a whole year how would your life be different?
17. What do you do that requires only 10% of you and what do you do that engages 90% of you… or more?
18. If you knew you only had one year to live, what would you make sure you did?
19. What is something you have to do, for if you do not, your soul will start to die?
20. What's the one thing you could do every day next year that would make you a-better-version-of-yourself ?
21. When were you happiest this year?
22. What is it that you really want? Do you even know? If you don't, that's okay. But if that's the case, isn't it time you spent some time in the classroom of silence working it out.
23. What are you proudest of as you look back on this year?
24. What three dreams are most important to you next year?
25. What are you pretending not to know? And why are you afraid to acknowledge it?
The right questions can change your life forever. I hope these help make next year the best year of your life!
Next year, don’t just be yourself… become the best version of yourself!”
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The Generosity Habit
The Generosity Habit - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The generosity habit is simple: Give something away every day. It doesn’t need to be money or material things. In fact, the philosophy behind the generosity habit rests on this singular truth: You don’t need money or material possessions to live a life of staggering generosity.
Express your appreciation. Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Make someone’s day. Speak your love. Teach someone something. Support local businesses. Host a dinner party. Say thank you from the depths of your soul. Spread a positive message. Be a generous lover. Give blood. Listen, really listen to someone. There are so many ways to give generously.
The generosity habit is simple: Give something away every day. Try it. It will change your life is ways you cannot even begin to imagine.”
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4 Signs You’re On the Right Path
Four Signs You Are On the Right Path – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“One of the things that keeps us from finding our way in this world and becoming the best-version-of-ourselves is our desire for psychological comfort. When we have thoughts or feelings that make us psychologically uncomfortable, we rush back to our old thoughts and feelings. The problem is they drag us back into the past. It’s often the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that are trying to lead to toward our bigger, better future.
Here are four examples:
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You feel lost. Great. The people who are really lost have no idea how lost they are. The fact that you are aware of it is a great sign. Listen to that feeling. Explore what it is trying to tell you.
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You are angrier than usual. Excellent. This means you are probably getting in touch with your dissatisfaction. Listen to your dissatisfaction. It will teach you how to improve your life.
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You friends are driving you crazy. Friends drive us crazy for two main reasons: They are dragging us down or they are challenging us to grow and we are resisting. Which is it? You may just need some new friends for the next season of your life. Most people are the average of the five people they spend the most time with.
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You feel like you need to grow up. Whether you are 14 or 64, this is a great sign. Growing older and growing up are two different things. Growing up is about becoming your own person, establishing boundaries, and taking responsibly for yourself and your life.
These are four signs you are on the right path. They may be uncomfortable, but they come bearing wisdom. Remember, feelings aren’t good or bad, they are just messengers. Listen carefully to the messages they are delivering, and they will lead you to a more fulfilling life.”
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Generous People Live Longer?!
16 Scientifically Proven Ways Generosity is Good for You – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video transcript:
"There are so many ways generosity is good for you. Over the past 25 years, there have been hundreds of studies into the effects of giving and generosity, and yet, in many ways they seem to simply affirm what we already knew intuitively or from experience. Here are sixteen ways generosity is good for you:
Generosity improves your physical health.
It improves your mood.
Generous people live longer.
It evokes gratitude and contentment.
It enhances our awareness of the meaning and purpose of life.
Generous people have better relationships.
It makes us happy.
It transforms the way we feel about ourselves.
Generous people tend to have more friends.
It stimulates a more positive outlook on life.
It has a mysterious way of rewarding you tenfold.
Generosity leads to higher self-esteem, greater life satisfaction, better mental health, lower blood pressure, decreased stress, and the list literally goes on and on.
So don’t just be yourself, be the most generous version of yourself!"
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What is Your LOVE CONTRACT?
What is Your LOVE CONTRACT? – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Do you ever feel like you can’t figure yourself out? There is one question that will provide more insight into who you are, why you do the things you do, and how you participate in relationships than all the other questions put together.
This is the question: What did you have to do to receive love as a child?
Most people aren’t aware of it, but we all sign a love contract when we are young. For better or for worse, the people who raise us teach us about the giving and receiving of love. And most of us are still living according to that contract today.
Did you have to do as you were told? Did you have to accomplish things? Were you taught that loves involves a quid pro quo exchange, that it was transactional? Did you have to hide your true feelings and emotions? Did you have to keep your opinions to yourself? Or perhaps you were you loved simply for who you are?
Go deep into this question and you will discover yourself in ways that will astound you. It will reveal extraordinary insights into your relationships, past and present.
What did you have to do to receive love as a child? Whatever it was, you have probably kept doing it your whole life. And depending on how healthy or dysfunctional it is, it might be time to tear up that contract."
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99.9% Of People Won’t Do This
Is It Possible to be 10 Times Happier? – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
"If I told you by doing something that takes ten seconds, ten times a day, you would become ten times happier, would you do it? Most people wouldn’t. That’s human nature. We say we want to be happy but then we busy ourselves with things that make us restless and unhappy.
But maybe you are one of the few, so here it is.
We’ve all heard the term “Count your blessings!” It comes from the Jewish tradition that encourages people to count 100 blessings each day.
100 is a lot and you aren’t going to do that in ten seconds, but you can do this. Pause ten times a day for ten seconds and do these two things. First, take a deep breath, a really, really deep breath. Second, identify one person, thing, experience, or opportunity you are grateful for and just let that gratitude wash over you.
10 seconds. 1O times a day. I promise you, it will change your life. Gratitude is one of the most life-altering experiences a human being can have."
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How Generous Are You?
The Generosity Habit – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The generosity habit is simple: Give something away every day. It doesn’t need to be money or material things. In fact, the philosophy behind the generosity habit rests on this singular truth: You don’t need money or material possessions to live a life of staggering generosity.
Express your appreciation. Catch someone doing something right. Teach someone the thing you know most about in this world. Spread a positive message. Compliment a stranger. Be a generous lover. Encourage someone just starting out.
And if you do have money and things… Give an unexpected gift. Plant a tree. Support small businesses in your area. Buy a musicians first album. Tip twice as much as usual. Send flowers. Give chocolates. Give some more chocolates. Pay for the next person in line.
So, go on, astound the world with your generosity! Become the most generous person the people in your life have ever known!”
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How to Make Sense of Everything! (in 60 Seconds) – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“If you want to understand anything, begin with purpose. If you want to understand yourself, begin with purpose. What are you here for? What’s your purpose? You are here to become the-best-version-of-yourself. This is your essential purpose, and everything makes sense in relation to your purpose.
What makes a good friend? Someone who helps you become a-better-version-of-yourself. What is the essential quality of good food? It helps you become the-best-version-of-yourself. Good entertainment – books, movies, music – help you fulfill your purpose. What is the primary purpose of work? To make money? No, making money is the secondary outcome. The primary value is that when you do good work, you become a-better-version-of-yourself.
Everything makes sense in relation to your essential purpose. Next time you have a choice to make, simply ask yourself, which option will help me become the-best-version-of-myself? You will be astounded at the clarity this one question will bring to your heart and mind.
Embrace, nurture, celebrate, defend, and take joy in the-best-version-of-yourself!”
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How to Talk to Anyone!
How to Become a More Interesting Person – The Ultimate Conversation Starter – Matthew Kelly
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Do You Want to Be More Interesting? 0:00
How to Talk to Anyone 0:15
A More Modern Question 0:35
How to Become a More Interesting Person 0:48
Video Transcript:
““I don’t feel very interesting!” someone said to me the other day and I was fascinated with the comment. And I started wondering, “How does someone become a more interesting person?” This in turn got me thinking about the most interesting people I know.
I’m not very good at small talk and social situations make me a little anxious. But I love a great conversation. The question that has served me best over the years is, “What are you reading at the moment?” Many of the best conversations I’ve ever had started with a discussion about a book someone was reading.
But more and more I find that people don’t read books, so I have a second question now, “What’s your favorite podcast?” And this question has also given birth to some amazing conversations.
The most interesting people I know are readers. Or they listen to podcasts. Or both. They are always learning. That’s what differentiates them.
So, if you want to become a more interesting person, get interested. Ignite your curiosity. Read books and listen to podcasts. And if you want to have some great conversations ask people, “What are you reading at the moment?” or “What’s your favorite podcast?””
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Stop Doing This One Thing!
This One Habit is Ruining Your Life! – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Is it possible that you are doing one thing that is ruining your life? It is, but most of the time we don’t see it. Do you think you know the habit that is ruining your life? Give most people a dozen guesses, and they won’t get it.
To illustrate the point, let me ask you two questions.
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If your toilet wouldn’t flush would you leave it that way for months or even years?
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If the sewer pipe broke in your neighborhood, would you let your children play in the waste?
The questions seem ridiculous, I know. But most of us play in the sewer waste at least ten times a day. What am I talking about? Well, we go around taking note of everything that is negative, bad, and wrong with everyone and everything, including ourselves. That’s like not flushing the toilet. It’s like playing in the sewer. And it is ruining our lives.”
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Why Your Relationship Isn’t Working
The Best Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Get! – Don’t Just Hope… Decide! – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Peter was an ordinary guy. He liked to watch football, drink beer, and hang out with his friends. From time to time, when he was alone, he would get a little introspective and start to think about where his life was going. It was then that he thought about relationships; more specifically he would wonder whether he would ever have a truly great relationship. He always concluded that he hoped one day he would.
One thing Peter loved to do was people-watch, and if you like people-watching there is perhaps no better place than an airport.
A few years ago, Peter was standing at the airport in San Francisco waiting for a friend when he had one of those life-changing experiences you sometimes hear people talk about . . . the kind that sneaks up on you when you least expect it.
Straining to locate his friend among the passengers coming out the exit into baggage claim, Peter noticed a man walking toward him carrying two small bags. The man stopped right next to him to greet his family.
First, the man motioned to his younger son, who was perhaps five or six years old. Putting down his bags, he took the boy in his arms and gave him a long hug, and as they drew apart long enough to look at each other, Peter overheard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I’ve missed you so much.”
The boy smiled shyly, averted his eyes a little, but replied, “Me too, Dad.”
Standing up, the man gazed deep into his elder son’s eyes (the boy was maybe nine or ten years old) and, taking the boy in his arms, he said, “You’re such a fine young man, Nathan, I love you so much.”
While all this was happening a baby girl was eyeing her father and squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her eyes off her returning father.
The man turned to the child now and said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took her from her mother’s arms and kissed her face all over.
After several long moments he handed his daughter to his elder son, declared, and proceeded to kiss and hug his wife warmly. As they drew back, he held on, looked her eyes for several seconds and said, “I love you so much.”
All of a sudden, Peter became awkwardly aware of how engrossed he had become in this wonderful display of love.
“How long have you been married?” Peter was amazed to hear his own voice asking.
“Been together fourteen years, married for twelve,” the stranger replied.
“How long have you been away?” Peter asked.
The stranger turned to him now, smiled, and said, “Two whole days.”
Peter was stunned. From the intensity of their greeting, Peter figured he had been gone for weeks. Two whole days, he thought to himself, and smiled.
He was little embarrassed now, but hoping to end his intrusion with some semblance of grace, Peter said casually, “I hope my marriage is that passionate after twelve years!”
Suddenly the man stopped smiling. He turned and looked straight into Peter’s eyes with a forcefulness that burned, and he said something that left Peter a different man:
“Don’t just hope, friend, decide!”
And with that, the stranger picked up his bags and he and his family strolled off.
Peter was still watching them disappear into the distance when his friend came up to him and said, “Whatcha looking at?”
Peter smiled and, without hesitating, replied, “My future.”
Great relationships don’t come to those who hope for them. Hope is worthless unless coupled with real effort. Great relationships belong to those who decide to put in the effort and make&
Six Examples of Negative Self-Talk
Self-Talk: Six Examples of Positive and Negative Self-Talk – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“There is a lot of discussion these days about self-talk, but rarely does anyone provide examples. The concept gets talked about as if everyone knows what it is and how it plays out in our daily lives.
So here are six practical examples of positive and negative self-talk.
Negative: I can’t do it.
Positive: I haven’t worked it out yet.
Negative: I’ve never done that before.
Positive: This will be a great opportunity to try something new.
Negative: Nobody tells me anything.
Positive: I’ll reach out and see what I discover.
Negative: I’ll never be good at this.
Positive: Every time I try this I get better.
Negative: I never have enough time.
Positive: There is enough time to get the most important things done.
Negative: I’m always unlucky.
Positive: Something wonderful is about to happen.
The key is to practicing positive self-talk is practicing. You have to work at it. It doesn’t come naturally to most of us, especially when we are stressed or disappointed.”
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The Leading Indicator of Success – There Are Two Types of People – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The great predictor of success is not talent or opportunity, but attitude towards learning. Developing the habit of continuous learning leads to success both personal and professionally.
Benjamin Barber wrote: “I divide the world into learners and non-learners. There are people who learn, who are open to what happens around them, who listen, who hear the lessons. When they do something stupid, they don’t do it again. And when they do something that works a little bit, they do it even better the next time. The question to ask is not whether you are a success or a failure, but whether you are a learner or a non-learner.”
Become a life-long learner. It is essential in our quest to live more meaningful lives. Read books, take courses, listen to podcasts, and watch videos that help you become the-best-version-of-yourself.”
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Stop Regretting Your Decisions
How to Make GREAT Decisions You WON’T Regret – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“How do you know if you are making a good decision? How do you know of you will regret a decision?
Here are two litmus tests to help:
-
How important is it to you that other people agree with this decision? The thing is, the happier you are with your decisions the less you need other people to be happy with them. The more you love your decisions the less you will need others to love them.
-
What is that gentle voice with you saying? And perhaps more importantly, are you listening to it knowing that it never leads you astray or trying to ignore it? All of life’s regrets come from ignoring that voice within you.
If you are having trouble deciding, the first thing to do is to take away what everyone else wants you to do, and listen to that gentle voice within you.”
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The Most Important Moment in Your Life – Learn How to Master Life – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The most important moment in your life is the moment of decision. Learn to master the moment of decision and you will live a life uncommon. Becoming a great decision maker is one of life’s most important skills.
Every day you make hundreds of decisions, and your decisions determine the quality and direction of your life.
Here are 5 tips for making better decisions:
-
Determine if it is a major decision or a smaller, even trivial decision.
-
Give yourself time (if possible). Don’t make the decision before you have to.
-
Write down the pros and cons.
-
Consider your values and goals.
-
Seek counsel from the wisest person you know.
We build our lives one choice at a time. Make it a goal to become a better decision maker every year for the rest of your life.”
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How Long Will You live?
How Many Sundays Do You Have Left? – Don’t Waste Your One Short Life – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“My brother Simon is thirteen years older than I am. When I was a child, he used to sell life insurance, and he later went on to become a financial adviser. I dedicated my book The Dream Manager to him, because in many ways he was the first person to play this role in my life in a more formal way. He has a lot of stories, analogies, and paradigms that he uses to illustrate his philosophy about life and business. This is one of my favorites:
How many Sundays do you have left?
I am 48 years old. The actuaries at life insurance companies tell us that on average an American male lives to 78. On average an American female lives to 81. These life-expectancy statistics are always changing. For example, in the year 1900 the average life expectancy was just 31 years.
Anyway, Simon loves to talk about how many Sundays are left. At 48 years of age with a life expectancy of 78, I have 1,560 Sundays left. It sounds like a lot, but they go quickly.
As Simon loves to say, “Don’t waste a single Sunday. If you don’t waste Sundays, you will be less likely to waste Mondays Tuesdays, Wednesdays...”
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How to Discover YOUR Genius
You Are the Best in the World at Something – What’s Your One Thing? – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Albert Einstein observed, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” So, “What is your genius?”
You see, I believe that we are all capable of doing one thing better than any other person alive at this time in history. What is your one thing?
I know you may be thinking that you don’t have a genius. You may be tempted to doubt the idea and think that I am talking only about other people. No. Everybody is a genius. What is your genius?
Stop judging yourself by the world’s standards, let go of all the expectations people have been weighing you down with your whole life, and let your genius emerge.
What’s your one thing? You may be the best in the world at being a mother or father to your child. You may be the best in the world at loving your spouse. You may be the best in the world at being a kindergarten teacher in your town.
The world doesn’t see these things as genius, but the world is wrong. It’s time, once and for all, to embrace your genius, focus on your genius, and share it with the world.”
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Stop Thinking These Things
3 Things You Should Think About Less – Thoughts determines Action – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“One of the most creative things you do every day is think. Human thought is astoundingly creative and very powerful. What we think about shapes our character and our lives.
Here are THREE THINGS you should think about LESS:
-
I’m never going to thoughts. I’m never going to be kiss unexpectedly, become a great chef, own a home, take that trip, get a promotion, write a bestseller, get married, become great at anything.
-
I’m not enough thoughts. I’m not good enough, smart enough, interesting enough, beautiful enough, old enough, young enough. You are enough. You have exactly the talents and personality you need to live an incredibly fulfilling life.
-
What other people think about you. What other people think about you is none of your business. Some people are going to like you, and some aren’t. This is true for everyone. Get on with your life.”
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3 Things You Should Think About More – Thoughts determine Action – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Some thoughts are beautiful, and some thoughts are ugly. Some help you become the best-version-of-yourself and some don’t.
Here are THREE THINGS you should think about MORE:
-
The best things that have ever happened to you.
-
The things in the past you thought you would never get over… and did.
-
The most fulfilling lives are not built on talent, beauty, money, things, or even success. They are built on love, humor, service, friendship, wisdom and chocolate.
Thoughts play a powerful role in our lives. What you choose to think about determines the direction of your life. Don’t like where your life is headed, change what you spend your days thinking about.
Think more beautiful thoughts and you – and your life – will become more beautiful.”
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How to Predict Your Future?
4 Ways You Can Predict Your Future – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Predicting your future is easy. Sure, there are some aspects of the future that are impossible to know, and everyone gets surprised by life sometimes, but for the most part life is highly predictable. Would you like me to predict your future? I would rather teach you how to predict your own.
Tell me four things:
What do you spend more time thinking about than anything else?
Describe the character of the five people you spend most time with.
What books do you plan to read in the next 12 months?
What are your habits, the things you do every day?
Answer these and you can predict your future, because what we think about always increases in our life. Sooner or later, we all rise or fall to the level of our friendships. We become the books we read. And our habits shape our destiny.
If you don’t like what you see when you look into the future, change these four things.”
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The 4 “isms” That Are Ruining Your Life, And How to Break Free – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Philosophy means lover of wisdom. Are you a lover of wisdom? Do you believe the more wisdom you have the happier and more fulfilling your life will be? Most people don’t, and that’s why the ISMS rise up in every place and time and destroy people’s lives.
The four practical philosophies ruling our age are:
Individualism. What’s in it for me?
Hedonism. If it feels good, do it.
Minimalism. What is the least I can do?
Materialism. Materials possessions are more important than character and values.
Every day you make hundreds of decisions. Are you trying to make wise choices or are you wrapped up in the ISMS of our age? Do you have a process for making decisions or are you just doing the best you can in each situation?
Let me share with you a way that will help you start making better decisions right now, today. Whatever the decision, just ask yourself: What will help me and others become the-best-versions-of-ourselves?”
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5 Life Changing Quotes
Five Lessons from Roald Dahl – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“My favorite movie as a child was Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory. Roald dahl was one of the great storytellers of the 20th century. If he were alive today, he would be 105 years old. Here are five quotes and five lessons he taught me:
- From Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:
“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”
Lesson: Life can get very serious at times. Lightheartedness and humor are essential ingredients for thriving and therefore cherished by the wise.
- From Danny the Champion of the World:
“I will not pretend I wasn’t petrified. I was. But mixed in with the awful fear was a glorious feeling of excitement. Most of the really exciting things we do in our lives scare us to death. They wouldn’t be exciting if they didn’t.”
Lesson: We are often most afraid when we are on the brink of great new achievements and experiences.
- From The Twitts:
“You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
Lesson: Few things have more impact on our lives than our thoughts. Spend as much time as possible thinking about beauty, goodness, and wisdom.
- From The Witches:
“Real witches dress in ordinary clothes and look very much like ordinary women. They live in ordinary houses and they work in ordinary jobs.”
Lesson: There are some people in this world who will intentionally try to hurt you, but they can be hard to spot at first.
- From The Minpins:
“Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”
Lesson: Life is constantly unveiling new opportunities, new ideas, new experiences, and new possibilities. Stay open!
Five quotes. Ten sentences. A lifetime of lessons. He was an amazing storyteller.”
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The 7 Laws of Money (in 60 seconds) – Money Wisdom – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“There is wisdom to be gained in every area of life. Do you have more money wisdom today than you did a year ago?
Money plays a central role in our lives, yet we teach our young people so little about it, and most people never seriously apply themselves to learning about money. So, most people’s personal finances are a mess, and tragically, more than 35% of people who get divorced say they ended their marriage over disagreements about money.
Here are the seven laws of money.
- Save part of everything you earn
- Spend less than you earn
- Invest wisely
- Protect your assets from risk
- Own your own home
- Avoid unnecessary debt
- Improve your ability to earn.
These laws have not changed in thousands of years. Commit yourself to them and they will lead you to financial health and allow you to be generous with those you love and those in need.”
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The Generosity Habit – CAN ONE HABIT CHANGE THE WORLD? – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Everyone knows the world is in need of profound change. We just can’t seem to agree on the best way to go about that. But do we really think politics, education, law, economics, or technology is going to deliver?
It depends largely on what we are trying to accomplish. All these aspects of society should serve human flourishing, but our unbridled quest for more, bigger, faster, and better, seems to have blinded us to how change either ennobles or debases people.
Are you flourishing?
Is your neighbor flourishing?
Is our nation flourishing?
Is the human family flourishing?
The next big leap for humanity will come from rediscovering what it means to be authentically human. It is the very best of our humanity that the world desperately needs now – and generosity brings out the best in people.
The generosity habit is simple: Give something away every day. It doesn’t need to be money or material things. In fact, the philosophy behind the generosity habit rests on this singular truth: You don’t need money or material possessions to live a life of staggering generosity.
Generosity is creative. There are an infinite number of ways to be generous without money or things.
Express your appreciation. Catch someone doing something right. Teach someone the thing you know most about in this world. Spread a positive message. Compliment a stranger. Be a generous lover. Encourage someone just starting out.
Imagine if everyone adopted the generosity habit. What’s more likely to change the world? Generosity.”
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Stop Teaching Your Child This!
The Hardest Lesson to Teach Your Child – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The hardest lesson to teach a child is how to fail. It’s especially hard because we don’t want to teach our children how to fail, because we don’t want them to fail.
Here are the problems with that:
-
Failure is part of success, so teaching our children to be successful requires that we teach them: how to fail, how to learn from failure, and most of all, to get back up and try again.
-
By not teaching our children how to fail, we actually teach them that it isn’t okay to fail. This is one of the most disastrous beliefs a child can carry, because when children believe it’s not okay to fail, they often don’t even participate… and as parents we want our children to participate fully in life.
-
Children who are not taught how to fail, mistakenly believe “If I fail, I am a failure.” And it isn’t a matter of if they will fail, but when they will failure. It’s just part of life.
And just as a child can make the mistake of drawing their identity from their successes or failures, as parents we can make the same mistake. We don’t want our children to fail, because we think it reflects badly on us and fear judgement. But the first principle of parenting is: it’s not about us, it’s about them.
Here’s the bottom line: Failure is part of success. Learning to fail and get back up is an essential life lesson. A child that fails is not a failure. And you are not your child’s failures.”
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How to Simplify Your Life
7 Ways Less Is More – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Simplicity is good for the soul. We complain about how complicated life has become, but we continue to complicate our lives. The two main ways we complicate our lives is with things and commitments. So much of our anxiety comes from these things and yet we cling to them and multiply them as is they were prizes to be cherished.
Here are seven examples of how less is more:
- Less television means more time to read.
- Less comparison means more contentment.
- Less stuff means more space.
- Less talking means more listening.
- Fewer commitments means more time just to be.
- Less complaining means more gratitude.
- Less clutter means more clarity.
Less is more means different things to different people. Find out what it means to you, try it, and take note of how it changes your life.”
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Do You Want Real Intimacy?
Sex is Not Intimacy – The Seven Levels of Intimacy – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Sex is not intimacy. It can be a part of intimacy, but sex doesn’t equal intimacy, and it doesn’t guarantee intimacy. And yet, almost every reference to intimacy in popular culture is a reference to sex.
So, what is intimacy? Intimacy is mutual self-revelation. It’s me revealing myself to you, and you revealing yourself to me.
Every day we reveal ourselves in a thousand ways to the people around us. Everything we say and do reveals something about who we are, what we value, and what we desire. Even the things we don’t say and the things we don’t do tell others something about us.
But in our most intimate relationships we also tend to hide and pretend. We hide aspects of ourselves that we think the other person will not be attracted to, and we pretend to be the person we think the other person wants to be with. These efforts fail every time because we are most lovable as ourselves, and because we cannot read each other’s minds.
What is it that you yearn for, ache for, hunger for? To be known. Even when what we think we need more than anything else in the world is physical intimacy, what we are really aching for is to be known. We have a profound need to be seen, heard, and known.
Imagine passing through this world and never being truly known by another person. Lots of people do, because we are afraid to reveal ourselves. Why? Because we fear that if people really knew us, they wouldn’t love us. That might be true in some cases, but it will not be true in the case of a person you are truly compatible with.
To love and be loved, you must know and be known.”
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The Seven Levels of Intimacy (in 60 Seconds) – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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“The seven levels of intimacy is a model designed to provide insight into the ways we relate with different people. If your relationship with your friendly barista is confined to the first three levels of intimacy, that’s fine. But if your marriage is confined to the first three levels, you’ve got a problem.
The seven levels of intimacy are:
- Cliches
- Facts
- Opinions
- Hopes and Dreams
- Feelings
- Fears, Faults, and Failures, and
- Legitimate Needs
Intimacy is the one thing a person cannot live happily without. We can live happily without new cars, designer clothes, dream homes, exotic vacations—but we cannot live happily without intimacy. You can survive without intimacy, but you cannot thrive without it.
So, let’s take a look at what intimacy really is…”
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The 5 Love Languages (in 60 Seconds) - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The five love languages is a model designed to help people express love in very intentional ways that you know resonate with your partner. The theory is that people have a primary and secondary love language, and that by knowing each other’s love languages you can connect more powerfully and regularly with each other.
The 5 love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
What’s your primary and secondary love language? What are your partners’? This is a good exercise, but the list is also a healthy way to examine your relationship overall. How are you doing in each of the five. Which of the five do you find hardest to express?
There are two brilliant quotes about love in Les Miserables, “To love another person is to see the face of God” and “The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.”
Don’t give up on love. Make the effort.”
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When Life Deals You a Tough Hand
5 Ways to Make the Best of a Negative Situation – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Do you think more about the way things are, the way things could have been, or the way things might be in the future? What about when life deals you a miserable situation, do you consider the possibility that something amazing might come from it?
Most of us, don’t. At least, not initially. We grieve, obsess, reminisce, and ruminate. These all have their place, but there comes a time to ask what good things could come from this unfortunate circumstance.
But most of us don’t get taught essential life skills like this. Here are 5 ways to make the best of a negative situation:
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Look for the lesson.
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Study and develop coping skills particular to your situation.
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Focus on healthy habits.
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Allow yourself to be sad, but not all the time. Practice gratitude to draw you out of your sadness at least once a day.
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Explore what new people and possibilities this situation will open your life to.
Most of the time we don’t see most of the possibilities before us. This is uniquely true when life deals us an unexpected blow. Open yourself to new possibilities.”
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Why You Feel Lonely
How Your Greatest Fear Is Affecting Your Relationships – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“You may be afraid of flying, spiders, heights, and snakes, but there is one fear that dominates the human experience. We all have it. It’s our greatest fear. It sabotages relationships. It produces existential loneliness.
We're afraid that if people really knew us, they wouldn't love us. That’s our greatest fear.
The real tragedy is that by pretending to be the person we think other people want us to be, we destroy our chances at really being loved. Because when someone does come along to say, “I love you” there’s a little voice in our head that says, “No you don’t. You love the person you think I am.”
This is how people end up desperately lonely in a relationship.
Hugh Prather observed, “Some people are going to like me and some won’t. So I might as well be myself, and then at least I’ll know that the people who like me, like me.””
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4 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
(How to) Stop Sabotaging Yourself and Take Control of Your Life – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Resistance wears a thousand masks, many of which are so effective we don’t even recognize resistance is behind them. Laziness, procrastination, fear, doubt, instant gratification, self-loathing, indecision, escapism, pride, self-deception, friction, tension, and self-sabotage are just some of the ways resistance manifests its ugly self in our lives and causes us to settle for so much less than God has imagined for us. You cannot become the-best-version-of-yourself unless you wake up every morning ready to slay resistance. Resistance stands between you and happiness.
Here are 4 ways to break through resistance and stop sabotaging yourself:
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Be mindful when you are stressed, anxious, or over-tired, and learn ways to manage these states.
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Abolish “If only…” thinking from your mind and life.
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Whatever you are feeling – name it and own it! You are not your feelings, but if you avoid them, they will destroy you.
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Develop one grounding habit that you do every day and NEVER miss. Run, walk, meditate, read… find your thing and ingrain it deep into your daily routine.
And remember, don’t just be yourself, become the best version of yourself!”
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Resistance Kills 95% Of Peoples Dreams
How to Overcome Resistance: A Practical Example – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“You have to break through resistance in order to accomplish even the smallest tasks. I catch myself in a battle with resistance many times a day.
Here’s a simple example: I sit down to write, but instead I start checking my e-mail or thinking about what snacks will be required to write something great. This is resistance at work. Sure, I am an accomplished author and have written thirty books that have sold millions of copies, but just like every college student who sits down to write a paper, I will have to slay resistance in order to even get started. The thing about resistance is that it is so simple, so ordinary— and so paralyzing if we are not mindful of it.
This is why most people who start writing a book never finish it. We all know people who are writing a book. I get requests from people all the time to help them get the book they are writing published. They are very keen to speak about the publishing process right now. I always say to them, “Focus first on writing your book. When your manuscript is finished and ready for a professional editor to look at, send me a copy, and then we can talk about publishing options.” More than 95 percent of them I never hear from again. Resistance gets the better of them.
Imagine all the books that are unwritten because of resistance. I wonder if Mozart or Beethoven had an unwritten symphony, or if Picasso and Monet died with their greatest work inside them because of resistance. I wonder how many diseases have not been cured because resistance got between the scientist and the cure. I wonder how many things never got invented because inventors succumbed to resistance. How many men and women don’t have fabulous relationships because of resistance? Resistance is a slayer of dreams.
Looking back on today, where did you encounter resistance? It was there, wasn’t it? In fact, if you really sat down and analyzed your day, you would discover that many times throughout the day you were in a tussle with resistance.
We all battle resistance daily. The first step is to simply give resistance a name. Once you name it, you see it differently. Things that we cannot name tend to build in mystery and become dangerous. Simply naming, defining, and learning to recognize resistance in the moments of our days causes it to lose most of its power over us. It is no longer a mystery because we have named it.
The first lesson when it comes to resistance is that you never defeat it once and for all. It is a daily battle.
And remember, don’t just be yourself, become the best version of yourself!”
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4 Ways to Conquer Resistance
We All Experience Resistance: 4 Ways to Slay the Dragon – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The hardest battle to win is one you don’t even realize you are fighting, and the hardest enemy to defeat is the one you don’t even know exists. Every day you are in a battle with resistance.
Make no mistake, resistance is your enemy. It will not quietly go away and leave you alone. You have to slay it like a dragon, and you have to slay it anew each day.
Here are 4 ways to slay resistance every day:
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Expect resistance. You should be surprised. It’s going to be there breathing fire every day.
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Know what you want more than the mindless comfort of procrastination.
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Focus on one thing at a time. Multi-tasking is a mega-resistance trap.
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Just do it.
And remember, don’t just be yourself, become the best version of yourself!”
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How to Fall in Love RIGHT
Be Careful Who (and What) You Fall in Love With – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Who and what you fall in love with will determine everything! Some people fall in love with wonderful people, others fall in love with people who are controlling, manipulative, inattentive and selfish.
But we don’t just fall in love with people, we fall in love in lots of ways. I remember the first time I hit a golf ball. It is one of the most vivid memories I have. We fall in love with music, running, reading, work, money, things, sports, alcohol, drugs, video games, anger, greed…
Pedro Arrupe observed, "Nothing is more practical than falling in a love. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.”
Who and what you fall in love with will determine everything! Choose carefully.”
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Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?
6 SIMPLE Ways to Break Through Resistance and Achieve Your Dreams – Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Do you ever feel like you are your own worst enemy? Have you ever thought you could accomplish great things if only you weren’t so busy with so many little things? Do you struggle to make decisions with confidence? Are you tired of setting goals and not accomplishing them? Do you procrastinate? Are you afraid to say what you really think and feel?
If you’ve ever tried to accomplish anything worthwhile, then you’ve been face-to-face with resistance. You may not have called it by that name in the past, but I suspect you will in the future. It helps to call it by its name. In every moment of every day, resistance is there, waiting to pounce.
Here are 6 ways to breakthrough resistance and stop being your own worst enemy:
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Just do the next right thing.
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Let go of the past and be in the moment.
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Don’t worry about the future today.
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Know when enough is enough.
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Take time to play.
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Listen to that quiet voice within you.
And remember, don’t just be yourself, become the best version of yourself!”
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Did you Make This Mistake This Morning?
Can One Decision Shape the Rest of Your Day? – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The alarm clock goes off. It’s time to get out of bed. This is your first decision of the day. Will you get out of bed or hit the snooze button? You press the snooze button and roll over.
What just happened? No big deal, right? Wrong. You just lost the first battle of the day. Resistance just kicked your butt. Resistance has broken your will before you’ve even gotten out of bed. You will most likely be its slave for the rest of the day.
What is resistance? It’s that sluggish feeling of not wanting to do something that you know is good for you, it’s the inclination to do something that you unabashedly know is not good for you, and it’s everything in between. It’s the desire and tendency to delay something you should be doing right now.
Don’t be a slave to resistance. Start by slaying it in that first moment of each day.
And remember, don’t just be yourself, become the best version of yourself!”
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What Would You Do With $100 Billion?!
3 Questions that Put Everything in Perspective – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We all lose perspective on life from time to time. When that happens, it’s important to step back from who we are, where we are, and what we are doing, and take another look. Here are three questions to help you do that:
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You get a call from an attorney tomorrow who tells you about a relative you never knew you had who has died and left you $100 billion dollars. If you knew you would never have to worry about money, what would you do with the rest of your life and what would you do with the money?
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You go to the doctor tomorrow, she does some tests, comes back and says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is you are going to feel perfectly healthy until the moment you die. The bad news is five years from today you are going to die.” If you knew you only had five years to live, what would do over the next five years?
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Now question three sounds a lot like question number two, but it’s different. You go to the doctor tomorrow, he does some tests, comes back and says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is you are going to feel perfectly healthy until the moment you die. The bad news is, you are going to die right now.” If you died right now, what would you never get to do that’s important to you?
Most people spend more time thinking about their annual vacation than they do thinking about their life. When was the last time you sat down and really thought about the life you want? It is too easy to let another week, month, year slip by without really thinking about it. It‘s too easy to just let life happen to us. You don’t have to settle for the life you stumbled into.”
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The #1 Mistake Parents Make – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to watch our children fail. And yet, failure is an inevitable part of all our lives. Failure is also an indisputable component of success.
The temptation is to correct the mistakes in their homework, finish their art and science projects so theirs can be the best in the class, and protect them from failure every chance we get. But all of these are parenting mistakes.
It’s hard to watch them make mistakes, it excruciating to let them fail, but little mistakes now massively increase the chances that they won’t make big mistakes later, and little failures now massively increase the chances that they won’t have big failures later.
The biggest mistake we can make as parents is trying to prepare life for our children, by smoothing the path in front of them. Our job as parents isn’t to prepare the path for our children, it’s to prepare our children for the path.”
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What's Your Satisfaction Score?
How to INCREASE Your Satisfaction in Life – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Satisfaction is a beautiful thing, but so is dissatisfaction if we pay attention to it, because it will lead us to satisfaction.
How satisfied are you with your personal life? Give yourself a score between one and ten in your mind. Now let’s look at your professional life. How satisfied are you with your professional life? Give yourself a score between one and ten.
Now add the scores together and divide by two, and that is your satisfaction score. If you gave yourself a score of 7 for personal satisfaction and 5 for professional satisfaction, you overall satisfaction score is 6.
Get yourself a notebook and give yourself a score once a week for personal satisfaction, professional satisfaction, and overall satisfaction.
What will happen? First, you will become more satisfied in both areas of your life. Just measuring your satisfaction will drive greater intentionality and that will give birth to greater satisfaction. The other thing that will happen is, you will be aware when your satisfaction begins to drop, and you will know what is causing it.
We all want to live deeply satisfying lives. The first step is to measure our current satisfaction. The second step is to do things that drive greater satisfaction in our lives. The third step is to be aware of when dissatisfaction is creeping into our lives so that we can address it quickly, rather than letting it fester.
What’s your satisfaction score?”
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Do You Want Balance or Satisfaction?
Can You Have a Deeply Satisfying Personal AND Professional Life? – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“If you had to choose between balance and satisfaction, which would you choose? The term work-life balance has become very popular in our culture over the past 20 years, but is balance really what we want?
Some of the most satisfying times in my life have been working 100-hour weeks, and others have been laying on the beach doing nothing for a week.
I’m not sure we want balance. I think we want our personal lives to be deeply satisfying, and we want our professional lives to be deeply satisfying, and we want to know that it’s possible to have both. The world tells us, if you want to have a deeply satisfying professional life you have to sacrifice your personal life, and if you want to have a great personal life you have to sacrifice your career. I believe both are possible, but neither are easy to accomplish.
Now, let’s take a look at your satisfaction score.”
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Work-Life Balance is a Myth!
The Work-Life Balance Myth: What do you Really Want? – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The work-life balance discussion was doomed from the start. Why? Because the concept itself is fatally flawed. Why? Because your work is part of your life. A big part of your life. In fact, we tend to spend more time working each day than we spend doing anything else.
So, when companies started asking employees if they had work-life balance, they were essentially saying, “You’re work isn’t part of your life, and you spend more time working than anything else, how do you feel about that?” No surprise that people didn’t feel great about that.
You cannot separate work from life. They are intimately linked. If you have a great day at work, you bring that energy home with you. If you are experiencing stress in your personal life, you bring that stress to work with you.
Work-life balance is a myth. Next time you think you want it, drill down a little deeper, and work out what it is that you really want.”
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The Happiness Cure – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“We know what will make us happy. We may tell ourselves that we don’t know or that it is a mystery, but that’s not true.
There are four aspects to the human person: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.
Physically. If you eat the right sorts of food, and your sleep regularly, and you exercise regularly, how do you feel? You feel great. You feel more fully alive. You’re healthier and you’re happier.
Emotionally. When you give focus to your relationships, how do you feel? You feel great.
You switch your focus off self to others and what happens? You feel more fully alive, you increase your ability to love and as your ability to love increases your ability to be loved increases.
Intellectually. You take 10 or 15 minutes a day to read a great book. What happens? You feel more fully alive, your vision of yourself expands, your vision of the world expands, and you’re happier.
Spiritually. You take few moments each day in the classroom of silence. What happens? You get clear about who you are, what you are here for, and what matters most. And that clarity gives birth to greater happiness.
Physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually, we know the things that fill our lives with happiness. We just don’t do them. Why? Because we are too busy. Too busy doing what? Too busy trying to be happy.
That’s the great modern paradox. Start doing the beautifully simple things that you know will flood your life with happiness.”
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Why Do People Do Stupid Things? – Understanding Your Choices – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but from time to time, people do stupid things. Ahhhh, you have noticed. We scratch our heads and wonder: Why would anybody do something so stupid? Don’t they know that’s going make them miserable?
The answers are simple and surprising. No, they don’t know it’s going to make them miserable. People don’t wake up in the morning and think to themselves: “I wonder how I can make myself really miserable today?” Quite the opposite, in fact. People do stupid things because they mistakenly believe those stupid things will make them happy.
And of course, sometimes, you and I, are those people. So, what stupid thing are you thinking about doing? What stupid thing are you already doing hoping it will make you happy?
You are on a quest for happiness. We often pretend we don’t know what will make us happy, but it’s not true either/ the truth is, you know exactly what will make you happy.
Let’s take a look at the things you know will make you happy in part two of this Series.”
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The-Best-Version-Of-Yourself (in 60 Seconds)
The Best Way to Live (in 60 seconds) – 3 Universal Principles – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“How is the best way to live? The greatest minds of every age have pondered this question. Here are three guiding principles:
The First Principal: You are here to become the-best-version-of-yourself and help others to do the same. Make every decision based on whether or not it will help you become a-better-version-of-yourself. Anyone or anything that doesn’t help you become the-best-version-of-yourself is too small for you.
The Second Principal: Fill your life with virtue. Two patient people will always have a better relationship than two impatient people. Two generous people will always have a better relationship than two selfish people. Virtue is the best measure of excellence in a human being.
The Third Principal: Self-control. Success at anything depends on self-control, in particular the ability to delay gratification. Our health, relationships, personal finances, careers, parenting, and spiritual life all rise or fall based on our ability to exercise self-control and delay gratification.
You cannot live your best life if you don’t know the best way to live.”
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Energy is Your Most Valuable Resource – 5 Secrets to More Energy – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“You don’t need more time; you need more energy.
Let’s face it! There are twenty-four hours in a day. Nobody gets more, and nobody gets less. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, who your father is, or how well you can kick a football. You get twenty-four hours. It is a pure form of equality.
So how is it that some people get so much more out of each day? Energy. The differentiating factor is energy.
Energy is our most valuable resource, not time. For too long we have been subscribing to myths. Time is our most valuable resource. Stress is bad. Downtime is a waste of time. Money drives performance.
Time isn’t our most valuable resource, energy is. Stress isn’t bad, stress all the time is bad. Downtime isn’t a waste of time, too much downtime is a waste of life. Money doesn’t drive
Performance, passion and purpose drive performance.
One of the easiest ways to improve your life is to increase your energy. Most people don’t follow their dreams because they are tired all the time. If you want to change your life, get obsessed with this question: How would my life be different if I had more energy?
You see, our lives expand or contract according to how much energy we have. Here are 5 easy ways to increase your energy level:
- Drink eight large glasses of water each day.
- Sleep at the same time every night.
- Go for a walk every day.
- Make one healthier choice at each meal.
- Avoid toxic people and content.”
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For Men Only: You Have the Heart of a Lion – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“You have the heart of the lion. When you are living from your heart your life is infused with power and passion and purpose. So don’t be content to live like a mouse, or a sheep, or a dog.
The lionhearted follow their hearts not the crowd.
The heart of a lion is full of direction and purpose.
The heart of a lion is not swayed by the approval or disapproval of peers. A lion knows himself and lives in his strength.
The heart of a lion is brave. It is filled with courage. Not the courage to do foolish things for selfish reasons, but the courage to do what needs to be done to fulfill his duties and responsibilities.
The heart of a lion is protective. He is ever vigilant for those in his care.
The lionhearted are encouraging.
The heart of a lion is full of emotion. The lionhearted are able to name their emotions and express them appropriately. They are tender with lover and children, but can access rage if a partner or child is threatened.
The heart of a lion is a hunter. A lion wakes early to hunt for food to take care of his family, but the lionhearted also hunt down their dreams
The heart of a lion is confident and capable, without being aggressive. The mere presence of a lion commands respect.
The heart of a lion doesn’t make excuses or quit at the first obstacle.
The lionhearted are willing to fight. Not for sport or ego, but out of necessity. They fight for their children, spouse, family, career, community and dreams.
The heart of a lion honors the soul of the women in his life.
The heart of a lion is wholehearted. There are no half measures.
When was the last time you did something wholeheartedly? When is the last time you gave you whole effort to something? What would happen if you gave yourself whole-heartedly to your marriage, family, health, career? Which area of your life is desperately in need of your wholehearted attention?
The heart of a lion is not afraid to chase a dream, even late in life.
Do you see yourself as a lion or a mouse? Change the image you hold of yourself in your mind, and everything will change. It is time to remake your life with the heart of a lion. It’s time to awaken the lion within you.”
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For Women Only: You Have the Heart of a Lioness – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“You have the heart of the lioness. When you are living in tune with your lioness heart you are beautiful, wise, supportive, fierce, loyal, independent, playful, strong, intuitive, brave, agile, bold, determined, creative and aware. This is the women in you. You may never have met her, but she is in there and she is infinitely lovable.
Our culture heaps insecurity and shame on women and weighs you down with expectations and judgement. Dehumanization and objectification are disorienting. But it’s time to throw all that off, reestablish your true north, and embrace your unique possibilities.
The incessant objectification and insidious shaming of women may have buried your lioness heart. You may have been separated from your beauty and wisdom, but it’s time to change all that.
The heart of a lioness is noble. It’s time to embrace your nobility.
Don’t believe what others say about you. Silence the inner critic that has been sabotaging you for years. Celebrating your lioness heart begins with what you know and believe about yourself.
Don’t follow the crowd, follow your heart. You have the strong, noble, intuitive, and wise heart of a lioness. Get in touch with your heart like never before. It knows what is best for you.
Locate your gift and use it to make this world a better place.
Step boldly toward your future.
Seek out inspiration. Surround yourself with positivity. Cast far from you any toxic negativity that tries to enter your sacred domain of your life.
Require more of yourself and more of everyone else in your life.
Honor your soul and resolve that anyone who does not honor your soul is too small for you.
When doubt and fear come to visit, as they inevitably will, remember, you are not your past and you are not what has happened you. From this moment on, focus on the incredible women you are becoming.
The lioness in you is infinitely lovable.”
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Baseball’s Greatest Lesson: Failure is a Part of Success – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The greatest lesson baseball teaches us is how to fail. It may sound insane at first, but just as failure is an indispensable part of what made Albert Einstein a genius and Thomas Edison a genius, failure is part of baseball’s genius too.
One of life’s greatest lessons is that failure is a part of any great achievement.
Baseball teaches us more about failure than any other sport. With a batting average of .350 you are the best in the world. That means the best in the world fail sixty-five percent of the time.
While he was the Commissioner of Baseball, Fay Vincent described it perfectly when he said,
“Baseball teaches us how to deal with failure. We learn at a very young age that failure is the norm in baseball and, precisely because we have failed, we hold in high regard those who fail less often—those who hit safely in one out of three chances and become star players. I also find it fascinating that baseball, alone in sport, considers errors to be a part of the game, part of its rigorous truth.”
Powerful insights. Failure is part of success. Mistakes are part of life.”
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Why So Few Achieve Excellence
The Secret to Excellence – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“I have seven brothers: Mark, Simon, Andrew, Brett, Nathan, Bernard, and Hamish. Growing up in Australia, all we did was play sports. What sports? Any sport. Football, cricket, tennis, soccer, swimming, running, basketball, volleyball, golf, table tennis, cycling—you name it, we probably gave it a try. Were we competitive? Yes, we were. Ultracompetitive.
My father loved sports and one of his favorite things to do was watch his sons play. I believe it gave him a tremendous sense of pride and filled him with great joy to watch his boys out there competing.
I began playing competitive sports when I was five years old. Every time I went to training and every time I went to a game, my dad said the very same thing to me: “Matthew, listen to your coach!” Every time. He never forgot. If he was traveling, he would call me on the phone sometimes before a game to wish me well, and to remind me to listen to my coach.
When I was about sixteen years old, he was dropping me off for a soccer game while he went to park the car. As I walked away from the car, he put down the window and said, “Matthew, don’t forget—” I turned around, interrupted him, and said, “I got it, Dad—listen to my coach, listen to my coach!”
A few weeks later, Dad and I were talking, and I asked him, “Dad, why do you always say, ‘Listen to your coach’?”
He didn’t miss a beat. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “Because nobody achieves excellence at anything without coaching.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You can get good at something just by working hard at it. If you’ve got some talent and you work hard at it, you can get really, really good at it. But excellence, peak performance, being the best you can be at something—that doesn’t happen without coaching.”
My father was a student of excellence. He loved excellence, wherever it could be found. He would point it out to us, in business, in sports, in the arts, in politics, spiritually and academically. He was a student of excellence and he taught us to be students of excellence too.
So, I’ve got two questions for you: What do you want to be excellent at? and Who is your coach?
Nobody achieves excellence at anything without coaching.”
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Life Won’t Get Better Without This
Do you have a vision for your life? – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Do you have a vision for your life? Do you know how you would like it to be different one year from now? Do you know the types of people you want to attract into your life in the future?
Most people don’t so most people don’t. They don’t have a vision for their lives, so their life just sort of chugs along going nowhere in particular. They don’t know how they want their lives to be different in 12 months, so it won’t be. And they don’t know what type of people they want to attract into their lives, so they will continue to complain about how selfish, unreliable disorganized, controlling, and manipulative the people in their lives are.
The ability to dream is amazing, the ability to plan and set goals is one of the things that sets human beings apart. Setting goals and making plans, dreaming about our future, brings the best out of us.
Goethe observed, “Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.” Perhaps it’s time for a little boldness in your life.”
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Why Did You Stop Dreaming?
It’s Time to Dream. What’s You’re Dream? – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“One of your most amazing abilities is your ability to dream. You can stand here, look into the future, imagine something bigger or better, and then chase it down and make it happen. That’s an amazing ability.
So, here’s my question for you today: What are your dreams?
The question takes most people off guard, because at some point most of us stopped dreaming. We get into survival mode, get absorbed with the daily realities of life, put other people’s dreams ahead of our own, and wake up one day and wonder what happened.
Today is that day. Time to wake up. Your dreams are your dreams for a reason. Time to dream again. Grab a piece of paper and make a list of ten things you would love to do. Don’t judge your dreams, just write them down. Then pick one – big or small – and get after it.
The future can be better than the past, and you can do something today to bring that about. So, whatever your dream is, get after it!”
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Stop Binging Netflix!!
The Ultimate Weapon Against HeadTrash – Part 6 – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Watch the rest of the series:
What is HeadTrash? (Part 1) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpKm9dGg3fo&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
Get Rid of Your HeadTrash (Part 2) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdjTCv1a45M&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
3 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself with HeadTrash (Part 3) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFYLro3glcY&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=4
4 SIMPLE Ways to Overcome HeadTrash (Part 4) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dRHi-GBbY4&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Worst Chokes in Sport, How Athletes Deal With HeadTrash (Part 5) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOy592mqvnw&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
Video Transcript:
“The ultimate weapon against HeadTrash is life-giving content. Sometimes you watch a television show and you come away from it drained or angry or frustrated. That’s not life-giving content.
We become the content we consume. Do you have a healthy content diet? A healthy content diet is the ultimate weapon against HeadTrash.
You cannot sit there and just hope the HeadTrash goes away. And focusing on the HeadTrash will probably only make it more powerful. The secret is to crowd it out. Fill your mind with so many great thoughts, healthy thoughts, positive thoughts, uplifting thoughts, life giving thoughts that the HeadTrash has nowhere to sit down in your mind. Crowd it out.
We become the books we read. We become the TV shows and movies we watch. We become the video games we play and the magazines we read. Content isn’t just entertainment. It directs our lives and shapes our character.
If you want to change your life, change the content you consume.”
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Worst Chokes In Sports – HeadTrash Won
The Worst Chokes in Sport, How Athletes Deal with HeadTrash – Part 5 – Matthew Kelly
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Watch the rest of the series:
What is HeadTrash? (Part 1) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpKm9dGg3fo&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
Get Rid of Your HeadTrash (Part 2) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdjTCv1a45M&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
3 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself with HeadTrash (Part 3) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFYLro3glcY&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=4
4 SIMPLE Ways to Overcome HeadTrash (Part 4) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dRHi-GBbY4&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Ultimate Weapon Against HeadTrash (Part 6) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0T5PvVEBmM&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=7
Video Transcript:
“Even at the highest levels of competitive sports you see world-class athletes choke. Growing up I watched Greg Norman choke over and over again, but never more spectacularly than at the 1996 Masters when he squandered a six stroke lead and managed to lose by 5 shots to Nick Faldo.
20 years later, Jordan Speith suffered a similar fate at Augusta, when he inexplicably quadruple-bogeyed the 12th hole in the final round.
It happens in golf, but it also happens in basketball, football, baseball, hockey, and tennis. It happens in every sport, in fact, it happens in every arena of life.
AC Milan disintegrated before fans eyes in the 2005 European Cup Final. Leading 3- Nil, Liverpool scored three times in five minutes and won on penalties.
The biggest choke in NBA history was by the Golden State Warriors, who entered the 2016 NBA Finals as favorites after winning a mind blowing and record setting 73 games during the regular season. They won the first two games of the finals, lead three/one after four games, and proceeded to implode and loose to the Cavaliers.
In the NFL, the Falcons 2017 self-inflicted demise is unmatched. They squandered a 25 point third-quarter lead to lose Superbowl LI to the Patriots.
Anything can happen on the golf course, football field, basketball court, and soccer field, because anything can happen in our minds. It’s the challenges from within that are often the most difficult in life. HeadTrash is the fiercest opponent any competitive sports person has ever faced.
When the best in the world choke, people don’t wonder, why did he do that or why didn’t she do this instead. They all ask the same question: What was he thinking? What was she thinking? Unconsciously, even a casual spectator, knows that the person got lost in their HeadTrash.
It not a question of ability.
Everyone knows Greg Norman was capable of winning the 1996 Masters. Something very unhealthy was happening in his mind. The same is true for AC Milan, The Golden State Warriors, the Atlanta Falcons, and Jordan Spieth. It was not a question of ability. In every instance, HeadTrash won.
Don’t let your HeadTrash get the better of you. Everyone exeperinces it. Now lets take a look at The Ultimate Weapon Against HeadTrash in Part Six.”
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Take Out Your HeadTrash
4 SIMPLE Ways to Overcome HeadTrash – Part 4 – Matthew Kelly
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Watch the rest of the series:
What is HeadTrash? (Part 1) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpKm9dGg3fo&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
Get Rid of Your HeadTrash (Part 2) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdjTCv1a45M&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
3 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself with HeadTrash (Part 3) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFYLro3glcY&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=4
The Worst Chokes in Sport, How Athletes Deal With HeadTrash (Part 5) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOy592mqvnw&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Ultimate Weapon Against HeadTrash (Part 6) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0T5PvVEBmM&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=7
Video Transcript:
“Once you begin exploring your HeadTrash you probably discover you have more than you thought you did. And you will also discover that it is impacting your life in ways you never imagined.
Here are 4 simple steps to help you overcome your head trash:
-
Write down five negative beliefs you have about yourself. One typical template for these false and negative beliefs is usually, “I could never do____ because of _____.” Another is… “I am too_____.” (fill in the blank).
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List how those beliefs are affecting your ability to live your one short life to the fullest. Look at every aspect of life, start with the four aspects of a human being: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. The consider specific relationships, your finances, your career, and other goals and dreams you have had for your life.
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Decide that every time you encounter HeadTrash you're going to dismiss it and focus on something positive that is happening in your life. In order to do this you have to have the positive thing at the ready, so take a minute each morning to identify what you are most grateful for so that anytime HeadTrash crashes your day you are ready.
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Take the trash out regularly. Once a day or once a week take a few minutes to take out the trash. Re-watch one of these videos or look at your lists from #1 and #2. Before it starts to smell.
Awareness is the key to success. If you begin to notice it more, don’t let that discourage you. Noticing the trash is the first step in disposing of the trash.
Next, the Worst Chokes in Sporting History. Why professional athletes choke and how the best of the best deal with HeadTrash. Enjoy part Five of the series.”
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Sabotaging Yourself With HeadTrash
3 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself with HeadTrash – Part 3 – Matthew Kelly
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Watch the rest of the series:
What is HeadTrash? (Part 1) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpKm9dGg3fo&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
Get Rid of Your HeadTrash (Part 2) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdjTCv1a45M&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
4 SIMPLE Ways to Overcome HeadTrash (Part 4) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dRHi-GBbY4&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Worst Chokes in Sport, How Athletes Deal With HeadTrash (Part 5) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOy592mqvnw&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Ultimate Weapon Against HeadTrash (Part 6) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0T5PvVEBmM&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=7
Video Transcript:
“The important thing to remember is that HeadTrash is a form of self-sabotage. We do it to ourselves. Other people may contribute, but we have more control over our thoughts than anything else in our lives or in this world.
We make ourselves and design our lives with our thoughts. Thought determines action, action determines character, and your character is your destiny. It all begins with the seed of thought.
Self-sabotage is one of the greatest sources of unhappiness in our lives. We sabotage our relationships, personal finances, career, health, and so many aspects of our lives when we engage HeadTrash.
Here are three ways we all sabotage ourselves with Headtrash:
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Self-limiting beliefs. We all have them. What are yours? What do you believe about yourself that isn’t true?
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The Voice of Negativity. This voice within you always has a reason why you can’t do something, be more, become more, love more, receive more. There are two mistakes we make when it comes to the voice of negativity: we believe it and we dialog with it. Don’t dialog with it. You cannot win that argument. You can never win an argument with someone who doesn’t actually exist.
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Need to Be Right. Sometimes we would rather be right than happy, we would rather be right than successful, we would rather be right than live life to the fullest. We will fail in order to prove a point. The desire to be right over other good things is pure HeadTrash. Dispose of it.
4 Simple Steps to Overcoming HeadTrash is next up in the series.”
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13 Simple Pleasures to Change Your Life Forever! - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“The world is full of wonders and it’s amazing how seldom we take time to appreciate and enjoy them. When we don’t appreciate the wonders around us, it’s a sure sign that we are neglecting the wonders within.
Here are 13 simple pleasures that will supercharge your relationships and recharge your batteries:
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Sit on a park bench.
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Wake before dawn and watch the sunrise.
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Drive with the windows down.
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Sit down and really enjoy your coffee.
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Take a long hot bath.
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Hot chocolate.
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Watch your favorite movie.
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Turn your phone off for a day.
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Write a letter (not an email, an actual letter, stamp and all!).
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Go hiking.
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Look through your photos.
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Take a nap.
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Curl up on the couch with a great book.
It always comes down to the simple things. It is the ordinary things we ignore that have the capacity to make our lives extraordinarily fulfilling and beautiful.”
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Kick HeadTrash to the Curb!
Get Rid of Your HeadTrash (in 60 Seconds) – Part 2 – Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Watch the rest of the series:
What is HeadTrash? (Part 1) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpKm9dGg3fo&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
3 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself with HeadTrash (Part 3) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFYLro3glcY&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=4
4 SIMPLE Ways to Overcome HeadTrash (Part 4) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dRHi-GBbY4&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Worst Chokes in Sport, How Athletes Deal With HeadTrash (Part 5) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOy592mqvnw&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Ultimate Weapon Against HeadTrash (Part 6) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0T5PvVEBmM&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=7
Video Transcript:
“If there was a broken sewage pipe in your neighborhood and your child was playing in the raw sewage, what would you do? Now, I know it a gross image, but I want you to hold onto it, because it will serve you well in the years to come. Headtrash is more dangerous to you than that raw sewage is to that child.
You can take out your HeadTrash, but unless you know how to recognize when you are depositing new HeadTrash, engaging with your HeadTrash, and when other people are trying to dump HeadTrash on you, the trash will continue to accumulate.
Here are two things you can start doing right now to eliminate the negative effects of HeadTrash in your life:
-
When you notice yourself playing in your HeadTrash, say to yourself, out loud if necessary, “It’s time to take out the trash.”
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When you notice other people being negative and trying to deposit trash in your mind, say to them, “I need you to take that HeadTrash out of here.” And when other people tell you that you can’t do something, don’t automatically believe them.
Next up is 3 Ways You Sabotage Yourself with HeadTrash.”
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Why You Keep Failing
The Secret to Success at Anything – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“Success at almost anything rests upon this single principle: Master the basics. Do the basics, do them well, and do them every day, especially when you don’t feel like doing them.
It doesn’t matter if it is sport, personal finances, physical fitness, marriage, parenting, military operations, small business, big business, or your spirituality…. The same principal applies. Practice the basics with heroic perseverance.
This is one of the reasons most people don’t become phenomenally successful. They lack the persistence to do the same things over and over, to focus on the smallest improvements in the most mundane parts of whatever it is they are doing. Success at almost anything is usually the result of being the very best at four or five things, and they are usually the basics.
Mastering the basics is the secret to success… at anything!”
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What is HeadTrash?
What is HeadTrash? – Part 1 – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Watch the rest of the series:
Get Rid of Your HeadTrash (Part 2) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdjTCv1a45M&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=3
3 Ways You’re Sabotaging Yourself with HeadTrash (Part 3) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFYLro3glcY&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=4
4 SIMPLE Ways to Overcome HeadTrash (Part 4) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dRHi-GBbY4&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Worst Chokes in Sport, How Athletes Deal With HeadTrash (Part 5) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOy592mqvnw&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=6
The Ultimate Weapon Against HeadTrash (Part 6) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0T5PvVEBmM&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5lMedhhbvEwJIwoEgm2fyl&index=7
Video Transcript:
“Do you feel like you aren’t reaching your full potential? The problem could be HeadTrash. What is HeadTrash? HeadTrash is a collection of negative thoughts, self-defeating mind habits, and any other thoughts that take you away from the here and now.
HeadTrash leads you into self-limiting patterns of behavior such as: self-criticism, control, insecurity, judging self and others, procrastination, arrogance, paranoia, anger, fear, and unresolved guilt.
Sometimes we deposit this trash in our minds and sometimes other people deposit it in our heads. You may have HeadTrash that has been there most of your life, and HeadTrash that you collected today. Either way, it’s time to take out the trash.
Anytime you feel stuck, trapped, or in a rut… the obstacle, at least in part, is probably HeadTrash.
In Part Two of this series we will explore how to recognize when new HeadTrash is being deposited in your mind.”
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Who's Going to Win the Superbowl?
Who Will Win the Superbowl this Year? Chiefs/Mahomes? Brady/Buccaneers? – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Several years ago, I was having dinner with a NFL head coach and I asked him, “Who do you think will win the Super Bowl this year?” We were sitting in his kitchen having a very late dinner. He didn’t even look up from his plate to answer, but I will never forget what he said.
Coach: “Same team that won last year, and the year before that, and the year before that.”
MK: “What do you mean? Three different teams have won the Super Bowl in the last three years.”
Coach: “That’s where you’re wrong. That’s where most people get it wrong too.”
MK: “What do you mean?”
Coach: “The same team wins the Super Bowl every year.”
MK: “What are you talking about? You sound like you’ve been drinking.”
Coach: “I haven’t been drinking, I mean every word I have said, and I am completely serious. The same team wins the Super Bowl every year: The team that has the discipline to master the basics. Football has a handful of basics. There are a thousand different plays, but they all rest on the offense and defense carrying out the basics of football with unerring consistency.”
Success at almost anything rests upon this single principle: Do the basics, do them well, and do them every day, especially when you don’t feel like doing them.
What’s the most important area of your life? Are you mastering the basics?”
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Fact Check: Is Life Supposed to be Comfortable?
How Comfort is Killing You: The Truth! – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“If you want to destroy people, make them comfortable. Give them every comfort they desire. Love of comfort poisons the soul by reducing our ability to hear truth and align our lives with it.
When we hear truth, we have one of two reactions. If we are living the truth we hear, we delight in the splendor of it. If we are not living that truth, we become uncomfortable, because unlived truth is always an invitation to change.
And let’s face it, there is plenty of truth we aren’t living.
A lover of comfort closes himself off from truth because it isn’t comfortable. He will even avoid the truth that he knows will liberate him from his addiction to comfort.
Don’t get too comfortable. Life isn’t supposed to be comfortable. Constant comfort isn’t good for us. Allow it to serve when you need to be restored and rejuvenated, but don’t become a lover of comfort. Comfort will destroy you long before the difficulties of life.”
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Comfort is Killing You!
The Truth About Comfort: Is it Ruining your Life? – Matthew Kelly – 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“It’s natural to turn to comfort during times of exhaustion and suffering. Comfort has its role to play, but what is the purpose of comfort?
The purpose of comfort is healing, rejuvenation, and renewal, in order to prepare us to face new challenges and opportunities in life.
But there is also a dark side to comfort. It is seductive. When comfort becomes the goal of our lives, we begin a debilitating downward spiral. Once we are addicted to comfort, it shifts from strengthening us to weakening us.
Comfort is a beautiful servant, but an ugly master. It will destroy you if you let it. It will sap your soul strength, leaving you morally, ethically, and spiritually paralyzed… which will prevent you from standing up for what is good, right, true, and just.
Once you start living for comfort there is no amount of comfort that will satisfy you.”
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Do You Need More Courage?
The Measure of Your Life Will Be the Measure of Your Courage - Matthew Kelly [Courage Series Part 3]
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Watch the rest of the series:
Everything Requires Courage (Part 1) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_KAVSaySSI&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5_1tz078v917UP09F8WnPc&index=27
The Most Dominant Emotion in Society (Part 2) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Os0fX8pNU&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY6rad5vQQLVLlMdJTSbRufz&index=21
Video Transcript:
"Who are the people you most admire from history? Take a moment to wander through the pages of history— your family’s history, your nation’s history, human history—and extract from those pages the men and women you most admire. What would they be without courage?
Abraham Lincoln, Charles Darwin, Albert Einstein, Jane Austen, Ada Lovelace, Martin Luther King Jr., Christopher Columbus, Amelia Earhart, Rosa Parks, Oscar Schindler, Anne Frank, Mother Teresa, Henry Ford, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, DaVinci, Newton, Jobs, Churchill, Galileo, Mandela, Mozart, Edison, Van Gough, Gutenberg.
Who would they have been without courage? How would their lives have been different without courage? How would our lives be different if they had lacked the courage to embrace their destiny? How would the world be different?
Their lives can be measured in courage and yours will be too. The measure of your life will be the measure of your courage.
Nothing worthwhile in history has been achieved without courage. Courage is the father of every great moment and movement in history. And courage will give birth to the next great season of your life."
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5 Ways to Make Better Decisions
How to Become a Great Decision Maker – Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“There are lots of life skills that can enrich our lives. Communication, creativity, problem solving, critical thinking, collaboration, leadership, adaptability, and the list goes on and on. But there is one life skill that is more important than all the rest. One life skill that will have the most impact on every aspect of your life: decision making.
Improve your decision-making skills and you will improve your life, relationships, health, personal finances, career, and every other area of your life. Decide today to become a phenomenal decision maker. It will change your life forever.
How? Here are 5 ways to become a better decision maker:
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Take your time. Don’t rush a decision, especially if it is a big one.
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Be honest with yourself. Try to look objectively at the pros and cons. We are experts at deceiving ourselves, especially when we really want something. But desire creates blind spots.
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Consider your options through the lens of your values and priorities. Will you be turning your back on the-best-version-of-yourself?
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What are you missing? In most situations we don’t see most of our options.
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Study decision making. Read books about it, ask people how they make decisions, and observe your own process.
Invest in yourself by improving your decision-making skills. Becoming a phenomenal decision maker is the ultimate life-skill.”
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What Are You Afraid Of?
The Most Dominant Emotion in Society - Matthew Kelly [Courage Series Part 2]
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Watch the rest of the series:
Everything Requires Courage (Part 1) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_KAVSaySSI&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY5_1tz078v917UP09F8WnPc&index=27
The Measure of Your Life Will Be the Measure of Your Courage (Part 3) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_86b-bQdwE&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY6rad5vQQLVLlMdJTSbRufz&index=22
Video Transcript:
“The most dominant emotion in our modern society is fear. We may not like to admit it, but we are afraid. Afraid of rejection and failure, afraid of certain parts of town, afraid of certain types of people, afraid of criticism, afraid of suffering and heartache, afraid of change, afraid of losing the things we have worked hard to buy, and afraid to tell people how we really feel... We are afraid of so many things. We’re even afraid to be ourselves.
Some of these fears we’re aware of, while others are tucked away deep in our subconscious. Either way, they play a very large role in our choices and actions.
Fear is a great limiter of life. Fear stops more people from doing something with their lives than lack of talent, resources, or opportunity. Fear has a tendency to paralyze and imprison us. Don’t let that happen to you.
It’s important to remember that fear is just chemicals. Sometimes it’s a good thing, protects you from danger. But when fear keeps you from living life to the fullest it’s a bad thing.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the acquired ability to move beyond fear. It’s time to start acquiring that ability.
In Part Three of this series we will explore how different your life would be if you had a little more courage.”
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Do You Have A Dream You've Been Ignoring?
If You Only Had One Year to Live - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Have you ever been awakened in the morning by the alarm clock in the middle of a wonderful dream? What happens? You try to go back to sleep. Maybe you can and maybe you can’t get back to sleep, but what doesn’t happen? The dream doesn’t return. Life is that dream.
If you knew you were going to die one year from today, what would you do with the next year of your life? Do those things. Go home tonight and make a list. Then set about making those things happen. Revisit that list every day, check on your progress, and renew your resolution. Because life is short and you are dead an awful long time.
Take that trip. Ride horses on the beach. Restore an old Ford. Watch more sunsets. Write a love letter. Say yes instead of maybe. Fly a kite. Say sorry. Ask that girl out on a date. Try new things. Turn off the television and talk to your spouse. Look for that job you’ve always wanted. Keep a promise. Tell your mum you love her.
Life is for living. So, if you’ve got a dream you’ve been ignoring, it’s time to dig it, dust it off, and get after it. Live life passionately. Don’t waste a moment, because those moments are life. Laugh often, love always, and live soulfully… run, sing, dance, shout, sleep under the stars, and wake early to greet each new day.”
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What Would Your Do If You Weren't Afraid?
Everything Requires Courage – Matthew Kelly [Courage Series Part 1] – 60 Second Wisdom
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Watch the rest of the series:
The Most Dominant Emotion in Society (Part 2) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Os0fX8pNU&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY6rad5vQQLVLlMdJTSbRufz&index=21
The Measure of Your Life Will Be the Measure of Your Courage (Part 3) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_86b-bQdwE&list=PLgCGT7nNXGY6rad5vQQLVLlMdJTSbRufz&index=22
Video Transcript:
“Everything in life requires courage. Whether it is playing football or coaching football; crossing the room to ask a woman on a date or rekindling a love that has grown cold; whether it’s your first day at school or your first day back at school after twenty years; starting a new business, battling a potentially fatal disease, getting married, struggling to overcome an addiction, or sitting humbly with your God in prayer—life requires courage. It’s a prerequisite. Courage brings us to life and makes everything else possible.
So, what are we waiting for? You only get one shot at life. What would you do if you weren’t so afraid? Whatever it is, take one small step toward it today, then take another step toward your hopes and dreams tomorrow.
Life favors the courageous. So, summon a little courage. You will be amazed what life will give you in return for a little bit of courage.
In Part Two of this series we will discuss fear and how it paralyzes us.”
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A New Lease On Life
Billy Joel's Lesson About Dreaming Big - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“At different times in our lives, we all need a new perspective.
In the late 1960s, there was a young man who had a dream of becoming a famous musician. He knew exactly what he wanted, so he left high school and began to play his music wherever people would listen. But as a high school dropout and with little experience, he found it difficult to get work as a musician.
Before too long he found himself playing in small, dirty clubs and bars. Sharing his gift with a handful of drunks night after night became a discouraging habit. This was not his dream. He had dreamt of playing to sellout crowds across America and around the world. He had dreamed of seeing his name in lights, of walking down the street and being stopped for autographs, and having his albums in every music store. He even dreamed one day he would play to a packed baseball stadium—an absurd thought in the 1960s.
He had stumbled upon difficult times. Financially he was broke, professionally he was failing, and his only joy in life was the support of his girlfriend. They had so little money that they would sleep in Laundromats to save the expense of a hotel. But one day she got sick of life on the road. This gypsy lifestyle was not her dream, either. She had dreamed of being married to a famous musician. It was not the life she had imagined, so she left him.
With his only joy in life gone, he decided to commit suicide. That night the young musician made a halfhearted attempt to end his life by drinking a bottle of furniture polish and a bottle of vodka. The next day, very sick, he checked himself into a mental institution.
Less than three weeks later, he checked himself out. He was a new man. He was refreshed, enthusiastic, and excited about life. He was cured. They had not given him any medication, nor was it anything the doctors or nurses had said to him. The other patients had cured him.
They reminded him of how gifted and fortunate he was, they had shown him how much more life could be, they had given him a new perspective on life.
That day, that same young man left the mental institution resolved to pursue his dream of becoming a world-class musician. He was determined to travel and work and do whatever was necessary to achieve his dream.
Three years later, he wrote the song “Piano Man,” and Billy Joel went on to become one of the most famous musicians of his generation. And yes, on June 22 and 23 in 1990, Billy Joel played to sellout crowds of ninety thousand people at Yankee Stadium.
We all need a startling new perspective at least once in our lives.”
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Dante Invented the Mid-Life Crisis!
How to Have A Great Mid-Life Crisis - Part 5 - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The Italian poet and moral philosopher of the 13th century, Dante Alighieri, knew more than most just how messy life and our shared humanity can be. He opens his epic work The Divine Comedy with these words. Written over seven hundred years ago, he knew how lost and disoriented we all become at times in our lives.
“In the middle of the journey of our life I found myself in a dark woods where the straight way had been lost sight of. How hard it is to say what it was like in the thick of thickets, in a wood so dense and gnarled the very thought of it renews my panic. It is bitter almost as death itself is bitter. But to rehearse the good it also brought be I will speak about the other things I saw there. How I got there I cannot clearly say, for I was moving like a sleepwalker the moment I stepped out of the right way.”
I have been in these woods that Dante described. I have been there more than once. He describes finding himself lost in the dark woods. When we find ourselves lost, we tend to think of it as a crisis. The reality is it can be a crisis or an opportunity. We get to decide. But this opportunity is not to be squandered. Immersed in these fires we can learn more about ourselves in one year than any other ten years of our lives.
Dante says so much in these few lines. It was the middle of his journey. He was in the dark. He had lost sight of the straight path. He didn’t recognize where he was. It was like nothing he had known, so much so, that he could not rightly describe it other than to say it was like a dense wood. So thick he was in a panic. He likens it to death, but points out that good things came from it. He didn’t know how he got there, but was aware that he had been walking unconsciously. And he knew he had stepped off the right path.
How do we know if we are experiencing these dark woods Dante describes? There are many signs, and everyone’s experience is different. But some of the signs are: you begin asking deep probing questions; you lose interest in the things you were once passionate about; nothing seems to make sense; the future seems particularly unclear or uncertain, or the future you see seems especially unattractive or meaningless to you; you have trouble getting to sleep, trouble sleeping through the night, or all you want to do is sleep; you have become generally restless; you become apathetic, everything seems vanilla; you start behaving recklessly; or you are unusually envious of other people.
Are you having a mid-life crisis or a mid-life opportunity? You get to decide.“
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Best Mid-Life Crisis Ever?
How to Have A Great Mid-Life Crisis - Part 4 - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Are you thriving or are you just surviving? If you feel like you are just going through the motions, just surviving, this is one sign you might be having a mid-life experience. I prefer to think of this as a mid-life opportunity than a mid-life crisis. Here are 13 ways to make it so, because you don’t just want you to survive your mid-life experience, you want to develop new ways to thrive in the second half of life.
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Realize it is normal. Almost everyone has some form of mid-life experience that separates the first half of life from the second half of life.
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Find something you love doing just for the joy of it, and make time regularly to do it.
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Avoid comparing yourself to other people. This may mean stepping away from certain people and almost certainly means avoiding the land of comparisons - social media.
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Reconnect with your values and priorities. Make what matters most to you a priority. Even if you discover you have abandoned your values and priorities, realign yourself with them now.
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Acknowledge the ways that life has disappointed you and take time to mourn those disappointments.
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Make some small changes to your habits, but avoid making rash decisions.
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Pray, meditate, read, reflect. Rediscover the spirituality of your childhood. It’s impossible to thrive in the second half life if you ignore your soul.
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Talk to someone. Find someone who is a great listener, someone who won’t judge you, someone who doesn’t have an agenda, someone who only wants what is best for you. You may want to consider therapy or coaching.
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Rediscover the simple pleasures in life.
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Try to stay in the present moment. Be present to whoever and whatever is before you right now. There is a time to think about the past and the future, but all the time is not the right time.
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Listen to that gentle voice within you. You may have been drowned it out over the years. Your inner critic may have grown so loud and obnoxious that you can no longer hear the voice of the-best-version-of-yourself. Take a few minutes each day to listen to that voice of wisdom.
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Be patient. It takes as long as it takes. Impatience will almost certainly lead you down the wrong path.
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Dream. Many people discover during mid-life that they stopped dreaming years ago. Our dreams animate us, they literally breathe life into us. Your dreams are your dreams for a reason. Dreams some big dreams and some little dreams, they will help you live the second half of life with passion and purpose.
It’s Not a Mid-Life Crisis, it’s a Mid-Life Opportunity.
In Part Five of this series we will explore the man who first wrote about the mid-life crisis and what we can learn from him today.”
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3 Biggest Mistakes of A Mid-Life Crisis
How to Have A Great Mid-Life Crisis - Part 3 - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“The first lesson that we learn during mid-life is that life is messy. Then the question becomes, what to do with the mess. Three of the biggest mistakes people make when they are having a mid-life crisis are…
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The most common mistake people make during a mid-life crisis is to pretend that life is not messy and they are not experiencing whatever turmoil is being stirred up deep within them.
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The next mistake people make during mid-life is to say to themselves, “Well, things are already a mess, I might as well make some more mess and the types of mess I have always fantasized about.”
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The third mistake people make is trying to run away from the mess or exile the mess. They get new friends, a new job, and new stuff. They tell themselves they are starting a whole new life, free from all the mess of their past. They forget the inescapable mess that is within. It is their mess and will have to be confronted eventually.
Whatever your mess is, best to face it head on. Some of it can and should be cleaned up. Some of it can and should be accepted. All of it will help you discover who you really are and what is possible during the next season in your life.
Are you having a mid-life crisis or a mid-life opportunity? You get to decide.
In part four of this series we will The Best Ways to Deal with a Mid-Life Crisis.”
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Yes, You're Having A Mid-Life Crisis
How to Have A Great Mid-Life Crisis - Part 2 - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Do things seem a little off? You may be having a mid-life experience. Is it a crisis? Maybe. Here are 13 Signs you might be having a mid-life crisis.
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You feel trapped.
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You don’t know what you want.
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Your life doesn’t make sense anymore.
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The things that used to satisfy you no longer satisfy you.
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Your experiencing mild or severe depression, or unusual mood swings.
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You have a growing sense that there must be more to life.
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Shifting sleep patterns: You don’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning or have trouble falling asleep at night.
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You start questioning the big decisions you have made.
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You begin to question your priorities, values, and what you want from life.
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You have trouble making even the smallest decisions.
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Everything and everyone frustrates you, including yourself.
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Increased compulsivity around food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, or anything you consider a relief from the constant and mounting anxiety.
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You have a sudden urge to loose weight, get in shape, look better, and feel better.
Are you having a mid-life crisis or a mid-life opportunity? You get to decide.
In (Part Three) of this series we will explore 3 Mistakes People Make When They are Having a Mid-Life Crisis.”
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Mid-Life Crisis? Or Opportunity?
How to Have a Great Mid-Life Crisis - Part 1 - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“What society calls a mid-life crisis isn’t a crisis at all. It’s natural. It’s normal. It’s the passage from the first half of your life to the second half of your life. This is a good thing. Don’t avoid it. Don’t ignore it. That’s the biggest mistake you can make. Don’t put it off. Embrace it. You’ll be glad you did. It’s only a crisis if you pretend it isn’t happening.
This first thing to realize about the mid-life experience is this… If you are having what they call a mid-life crisis you should be celebrating that, because for most of human history you would have been dead by now. The glass is not half full and it is not half empty. Your cup overflows.
Are you having a mid-life crisis or a mid-life opportunity? You get to decide.
In Part Two of this series we will explore the 13 Signs You are Having a Mid-Life Crisis.”
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Never Ask These Questions!
10 Questions You Should Never Ask Anyone - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“I learned very early about questions nobody should ever ask anybody. When I was a child, it seemed once a week someone would ask my mother, what do you do all day? Because she didn’t work outside the home, even though they knew she was raising eight boys.
The questions we ask tend to quickly reveal how smart we are or how lacking we are in emotional intelligence.
Here are 10 questions to delete permanently from your vocabulary:
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Are you on a diet?
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Is that your real job?
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Why don’t you have children?
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Have you gained weight?
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Don’t you feel embarrassed about doing that?
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Why didn’t you invite me?
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Are you really going to wear that?
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What are you so angry about?
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Why are you still single?
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Do you know how many calories are in that?
The quality of a relationship can be measured by the quality of the questions that pass between two people. By asking people questions, we gain unique insight into who they are, what matters to them, and what they know more about than anything else in the world. Every person is fascinating when asked the right questions. Don’t waste your questions.”
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Never Say These Things!
10 Things You Should Never Say to Anyone - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
“There are some things that we should simply never say. Some because they will accomplish the exact opposite of what you are hoping to accomplish. Nobody ever calmed down after being told to calm down in the midst of a disagreement, for example. Other things are better off not said because they are rude or obnoxious. And finally, some things are just none of our business.
Here are 9 things to delete permanently from your vocabulary:
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Relax.
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Everything will be okay.
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I told you so.
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This should be easy.
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Get over it.
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Are you really going to eat that?
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You’re insane.
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Why are you still single.
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You look tired.
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(And of course) Calm down.
Maurice Switzer observed, “It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.” Just because there is an awkward silence doesn’t mean you have to fill it."
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You're Not You When You're Overwhelmed
10 Things We Forget When We’re Feeling Overwhelmed - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“Overwhelmed feels like being buried alive. It feels like you are drowning. It’s a state of panicked anxiety and when we are in that space we are not thinking clearly. Here are 10 things we forget when we feel overwhelmed…
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Not everything we think is true. Our mind plays tricks on us. What’s the truth here? You cannot do it all at once. That’s true. You cannot handle it all at once. That’s true. You can handle it one thing at a time. That’s the most important truth in this situation.
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This is temporary. This too shall pass. You’ve been here before and you got through it. You will get through this.
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You got this. You can do this. You know how to get through this, you know what you need to do, you just aren’t thinking clearly at this moment.
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You don’t need all the answers and a total plan to move forward.
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Feelings are not always connected to reality. Overwhelmed is a feeling. But you are not your feelings, and your emotions are not your life.
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We forget to breathe. In stressful situations we sometimes hold our breathe without even realizing it when what we need is the exact opposite. Oxygen makes clear thinking possible. Breathe deeply. Fill your body with the oxygen your mind needs to navigate this situation.
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Doing nothing will only sustain these feelings of being overwhelmed. If nothing changes, nothing changes. Change something right now. Overwhelmed is a feeling of helplessness. Take back your power immediately. Do something to move you out of this state.
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Gratitude changes our state of mind every time. What are you grateful for? (see 4 signs)
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Our problems are usually not as bad as we think they are and not as unique as we think they are. Ask any therapist. Other people in history have been through some version of what you are going through and they found a way…
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It’s amazing how quickly things can turn around. The smallest step in the right direction can shift the momentum of your life.
We all get overwhelmed from time to time. This isn’t the last time it’s going to happen to you, but it is time to develop a strategy to deal with it."
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How To Stop Feeling Overwhelmed
7 Ways to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
“If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. It is one of the most common emotions in our society. Here are seven ways to get beyond overwhelmed!
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Take a walk. Exercise clears our minds. It literally helps our minds rearrange thoughts and ideas in our minds, relieves stress, and releases happy hormones in our bodies.
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Talk to someone. Just telling someone what we are experiencing can change everything. Even leaving a voicemail saying, “Hey, Just wanted to chat, feeling so overwhelmed today!” can be liberating.
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Do. Delete. Delegate. Divide your to-do-list into these three categories. Divide and conquer. This will help you focus on what’s essential.
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Tidy your space. Organizing your work or living space has a way of reorganizing our thoughts and feelings too.
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Ask for help. It’s a sign of strength and genius, not a sign of weakness.
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Cancel everything that is non-essential on your schedule for a day or two, or a week if that is what is required
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Do something. Start doing something, don’t allow feeling overwhelmed to paralyze you. Inaction will only take you deeper into the overwhelmed state. Pick one thing on your to-do list and do it. It’s amazing how taking purposeful action can shift the momentum of your day.
We all get overwhelmed from time to time. This isn’t the last time it’s going to happen to you, but it is time to develop a strategy to deal with it.
In Part Two of this Series we will discuss 10 Things We Forget When We Feel Overwhelmed."
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Do You Need to Forgive Yourself?
Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
Everybody needs to forgive somebody, someone probably comes to mind for you.
But sometimes, the person we most need to forgive is ourselves.
There is no path forward without forgiveness.
Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, but it is a poison we have all taken.
Forgiving someone is one of the hardest things to do in life, and the more you love, someone and the more that person hurts you, the harder it is to forgive.
Some days you feel like you're making great progress, and then there are days when you feel further away from being able to forgive than ever.
What I find humbling is that it is my need to forgive not their need to be forgiven.
The person I need to forgive could be long gone and no longer a part of my life.
He or she may not have even thought of me in years.
The need is mine, and I find it's healthy to remember that.
There is no future without forgiveness, no future for individuals no future for relationships, no future for humanity.
So whoever you need to forgive, perhaps it's time to set yourself to the task.
Especially if the person you need to forgive is you."
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What's Your Trauma?
Recovering from Trauma - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
"Imagine for a moment that you were injured in an accident, and you had to learn to walk and talk again. It would be excruciating. Each half step, each syllable, would require all your concentration and effort. And then, there is the mental anguish of not knowing if you will ever walk again or talk again.
Recovering from any trauma is like learning to walk again. You have to focus on the basics. It is slow and can be excruciatingly painful and difficult.
But the hardest trauma to recover from is the one we don’t even acknowledge as a trauma. What trauma, large or small, do you need to recover from? It may have happened last week or 20 years ago. It’s important to name it so that healing can begin.
Whatever trauma you have suffered… Be patient with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. And celebrate every advance no matter how small."
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Can You Pass This Test?
Can You Look Yourself in the Eye? Seriously? - Man in the Mirror - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
"Can You Look Yourself in the Eye? Seriously. It’s amazing how we avoid ourselves.
Try this: Stand in front of a mirror each morning for one minute, look yourself directly in the eye, and listen to what the man or woman in the mirror says to you. It will make you uncomfortable. But it works. Your eyes will tell you something every single day if you listen.
What type of things will your eyes say to you? Things like… You know what you need to do. It’s time for something new. Take a walk today. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know. This has to stop. Today is going to be a great day, try to enjoy it. Start paying attention to your needs. Go and see your doctor. You won’t feel good about yourself if you do that. You need some time off. A true friend would never treat you that way. Call your mom. Do something to make someone else’s day today. Take a risk. Run. Swim. Dance. Sing. Hope. Love. Dream.
Listen to what the man or woman in the mirror is saying to you. It will change your life."
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Six Principles to Live By
Never Forget These Six Truths - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
"Every life has highs and lows. I’ve had more than my fair share of mountaintop experiences, but like everyone else, I live in the valleys and on the plains.
There have been storms in my life and I know there will be more. Here are six truths that put things in perspective:
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You cannot live a meaningful life by filling your life with meaningless things and activities.
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Everyone is going to hurt you. Find the ones that are worth the suffering and heartache, don’t let anyone harden your heart, and remember, that even with your best efforts to avoid it, you are going to hurt people too.
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Don’t complain. It’s not attractive or productive.
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Give people the benefit of the doubt. Life is difficult and messy, and everyone is carrying a heavy burden.
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Death comes to us all. When death approaches, the person you have become meets the person you could have been. This is a humbling encounter. Don’t wait for it. Meet with the person you are capable of becoming for a few minutes each day, then use your thoughts, words, choices, and actions, to close the gap between who you are today and who you are capable of being. This is the path that leads to a deeply fulfilling life.
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Ignore your critics. Everyone has them. They will tear down in an hour what they couldn’t build in a lifetime. But life eventually puts all critics in their place. With time critics become remote and unimportant. The people who love you don’t care about what your critics care about; they care about you as a human being. Your critics, they don’t see you as a human being. They have dehumanized you. They see something in you that unsettles something in them. So, they have to decide: attack you or investigate their own dark mystery. Most people don’t know you well enough to compliment you or criticize you, and it is the unseen moments of our lives that define us.
Allow these six principals to guide your life and you will live an uncommon life of fulfillment and satisfaction."
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The Truth About Your Critics
Ignore Your Critics - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
Ignore your critics. Everyone has them. They will tear down in an hour what they couldn’t build in a lifetime.
But life eventually puts all critics in their place. With time critics become remote and unimportant.
The people who love you don’t care about what your critics care about; they care about you as a human being. Your critics, they don’t see you as a human being. They have dehumanized you.
They see something in you that unsettles something in them. So, they have to decide: attack you or investigate their own dark mystery.
Most people don’t know you well enough to compliment you or criticize you, and it is the unseen moments of our lives that define us."
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Do You Like Surprises?
Things that have Never Happened Before Happen all the Time - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
Do You Like Surprises? I don’t like surprises. I’m a planner. But often it’s the things we don’t plan for that have the most impact on our lives.
“Things that have never happened before happen all the time,” was Stanford Professor Scott Sagan’s observation.
The past isn’t an infallible guide to the future. That’s why historians aren’t prophets…
The first 10 years of a marriage isn’t necessarily a good indicator of what the next ten will be like.
What’s happened in the stock market over the past 100 years isn’t necessarily a good indication of what will happen over the next 100 years?
All the biggest events in the markets over the past 100 years had never happened before.
“Things that have never happened before happen all the time.”
It’s the unexpected events that change our lives and transform history…
The Great Depression, the sinking of the Titanic, September 11, the invention of antibiotics, cellphones, airplanes, and space travel… to name a few.
This is why the most important part of any plan is… what you are going to do when things don’t go as planned.
The world is surprising and whether I like surprises or not that isn’t going to change.
My planning self just needs to get used to it… because the only thing that isn’t going to change is that things are always changing!"
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Do You Feel Overwhelmed?
Busy Is Not Your Friend - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
"Busy is not your friend. It makes you feel overwhelmed, tired, and inadequate. If busy were a person would you spend all day with that person today, and then all day with that person again tomorrow? I don’t think so.
Busy is not your friend. They say judge a tree by its fruits. Well, the fruits of busy are overwhelmed, weary, tired, burned out, worn out, resentful, discouraged, anxious, and stressed. Which of these fruits do you want in your life?
When asked: “What one word would you use to describe how you feel on a daily basis?” millions of people say overwhelmed.
How often do you feel overwhelmed?
Do you feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done?
Are you overwhelmed with things that really matter or things that won’t mean anything to anyone in a couple of weeks?
When we are overwhelmed with things we know don’t really matter, we become resentful. So, it’s not just that we are busy, but that we are busy with the wrong things.
We all know the feeling of exhaustion at the end of a day when you have worked hard on the right things. There is satisfaction in that tiredness.
But we also know the exhaustion that comes from doing lots of nothing important. This exhaustion is heavy and draining.
Busy leads to overwhelmed, overwhelmed leads to weary, weary leads to discouraged, and discouragement leads us to feel inadequate and resentful. Anyone or anything that makes you feel that way is too small for you.
Busy is not your friend. Keep that in mind next time you feel pressured to say yes to something you know you should say no to."
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Don't Waste Your Life
24 Regrets of People Who Are Dying - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
What do people regret when they are dying? I asked hospice nurses. Here are the regrets people have when they are dying.
• I wish I’d had the courage to just be myself.
• I wish I had spent more time with the people I love.
• I wish I had made spirituality more of a priority.
• I wish I hadn’t spent so much time working.
• I wish I had discovered my purpose earlier.
• I wish I had learned to express my feelings more.
• I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about things that never happened.
• I wish I had taken more risks.
• I wish I had cared less about what other people thought.
• I wish I had realized earlier that happiness is a choice.
• I wish I had loved more.
• I wish I had taken better care of myself.
• I wish I had been a better spouse.
• I wish I had paid less attention to other people’s expectations.
• I wish I had quit my job and found something I really enjoyed doing.
• I wish I had stayed in touch with old friends.
• I wish I had spoken my mind more.
• I wish I hadn’t spent so much time chasing the wrong things.
• I wish I’d had more children.
• I wish I had touched more lives.
• I wish I had thought about life’s big question earlier.
• I wish I had traveled more.
• I wish I had lived more in the moment.
• I wish I had pursued more of my dreams.
These are the regrets of people who were out of time. Some people think it’s morbid to think about death. I disagree. It’s healthy to think about death. It puts things in perspective and reminds us what really matters. The inevitability of death should inspire us to get busy living."
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How To Live a Meaningful Life
Do You Want to Live a Meaningful Life? - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
"You cannot live a meaningful life by filling your life with meaningless things and activities.
The secret to living a meaningful life is to strip away everything that is meaningless. Strip away anything that is trivial or unnecessary and everything left will be meaningful.
If living a meaningful life depends on filling our lives with meaningful activity, ask yourself: Who are the people, things, and activities that help you weed out the meaningless from the meaningful.
Who helps you prioritize what matters most and gives you the courage to say no to what matters least?
We say we want to live more meaningful lives, but we keep saying yes to meaningless things. Start saying no to meaningless things.
Fill your life with meaningful relationships, experiences, work, and things… and your life will become more meaningful.
It has no choice."
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Go Change the World!
Steve Jobs Tells 14 Year Old to Go Change The World - Matthew Kelly
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Transcript of Video:
"Last week an Apple II computer manual signed by Steve Jobs sold at auction for $787,487. It was addressed to Julian Brewer, who was 14 years old and writing code for games on his Apple computer when Steve Jobs showed up at his house one day. Julian asked Jobs to sign the manual and it has become one of the rarest autographs in history. But it was the message that Jobs included with his signature that made it truly rare.
Jobs didn’t sign autographs. There are very few examples. When people asked for his autograph he would say, “I feel weird doing that” or “Everything at Apple is a group effort” or simply “I don’t do autographs.”
The message Steve Jobs inscribed on Julian Brewers computer manual reads: “Your generation is the first to grow up with computers. Go change the world!”
That was written in 1980 and over the past 40 years computers certainly have changed our lives and the world.
Now the world needs changing again… but we don’t need computers to change the world now. In fact, the kind of change the world needs now will not be driven by technology of any type.
The future will be profoundly human or not at all. It is our humanity that will change the world next: our generosity, our compassion, our love, patience, discipline, gentleness, forgiveness and friendship.
If we do not learn to ennoble each other there will be no future. So, get in touch with the best parts of your humanity – and as the man who gave us the Apple computer, the iPod, and the iPhone wrote all those years ago, “Go out and change the world!”"
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The True Test of Friendship
Who Would Hide You? - Matthew Kelly - Warren Buffet - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
"How do you measure your life? It’s good to weigh our lives from time to time. It ensures we are not wasting our one short life. But there are so many ways to measure a life: success, family and relationships, career, money, status, stuff, education, popularity, integrity, happiness, adventure, health.
What measuring stick do you use to assess your life? Here’s a perspective I had never considered.
A Polish Holocaust survivor once told Warren Buffet, ‘’Warren, I’m very slow to make friends, because when I look at people, the question I ask is: Would they hide me?’’
There is no perfect way to measure our lives. But these two questions are worth considering:
If you were in trouble, being hunted unjustly, how many people do you know who would risk their lives to hide you? And the second question, how many people would you be willing to hide?"
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Some Things Look Good On Everyone
Generosity Looks Good on You - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
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Video Transcript:
"Generosity Looks Good on You… and there are so many ways to be generous.
When I was young, my mother would say things like, “That color looks great on you” or “I really like that shirt on you.”
Different things look good on different people, but some things look good on everyone. And generosity is at the top of the list.
So this week…
Call someone just to say hello.
Tip like you’ve never tipped before.
Ask the people you love about their hopes and dreams.
Give someone an unexpected gift.
Compliment someone who least expects it.
Save a life by donating blood.
Smile… generously.
Give someone a life-changing book.
Be a generous lover.
Make someone’s day.
Tell someone how they influenced your life.
Tell someone you love having them in your life!
You’re at your best when you’re generous. So, don’t just dabble in generosity, live a life of staggering generosity. Astonish people with the boldness of your generosity.
Unleash the genius of generosity in your life."
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The Secret to the Good Life
THE GOOD LIFE - Matthew Kelly
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Video Transcript:
"What is the essential ingredient to the good life?
Since Aristotle first spoke of “the good life” almost 2,500 years ago, it seems everyone has been on a quest to experience it. I have heard many people speak about it and I have read many books on the subject. Some people think it’s about success and accomplishment. Others think it’s about money and things. Some think it’s about love and family. Others think it’s about food, wine, travel, adventure, education, meaningful work, independence, friendship, and pleasure.
There’s nothing wrong with these things, unless these things are all you’ve got. Because even all of these things together will not deliver the good life.
There is only one ingredient essential to the good life. So essential that without it, the good life is impossible. You would think that such an ingredient would be widely sought after. It isn’t. You might think that such an ingre- dient is scarce. It isn’t. You may think this ingredient is expensive. It isn’t. You may think people would be clam- oring to get their hands on it. They aren’t.
When people talk about the good life, you get the impression that it is mysterious and only available to a select few people. This isn’t true.
There is no secret to the good life. It isn’t a mystery. No exceptional talent is required. It isn’t only for the rich and famous. It is available to everyone, everywhere, at all times.
What is the essential ingredient of the good life? Goodness itself. The secret to the so-called good life has always been right before our very eyes. If you wish to live the good life, fill your life with goodness. Fill your life with love, kindness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity.
Take risks with your goodness. Test the limits of your goodness. Don’t just love, astonish people with your love. Don’t just dabble in generosity, live a life of staggering generosity.
How would your life change if your only goal was to do as much good as possible? Let’s find out. Don’t let this question remain unanswered. Celebrate goodness every chance you get.
Don’t waste your gold dust."
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Trust Your Instincts
Feel Like Something is Missing? - Matthew Kelly
Do you ever get the sense that something is missing? And when you get that feeling that something is missing, do you think of that as a good thing or as a bad thing? Most people think of it as a problem they have to fix. They think, "Something's wrong and I need to fix it." It's not true. Something is right. Something is very, very right. When you have that sense that something is missing, the best part of you, the core of your being is sending you a message.
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Transcript:
"Do you ever get the sense, the feeling that something is missing? And when you get that feeling that something is missing, do you think of that as a good thing, or as a bad thing?
Most people think of it as a problem they have to fix, they think, “Something’s wrong, and I need to fix it.” It’s not true. Something is right, something is very very right. When you have the sense that something is missing, the best part of you, the core of your being is sending you a message.
Listen to that message, go with that message. Don’t try to fix it, don’t try to rush it out of the way, don’t try to avoid it or pretend it’s not there, if you’ve got the sense that something is missing, you, the deepest part of your being, is absolutely and 100% right.
Go on a journey. What do you need on the journey? You need patience, you need silence, clarity emerges from silence. You need space. If you want something new to come into your life, there has to be room in your life for that new thing, that new person, that new experience, that new adventure. So declutter your life a little bit, make some room in your life for whatever wonderful things, people, experiences, adventures want to come and live in your life.
If you’ve got the sense that something is missing in your life, I’m incredibly excited for you, because that means something wonderful is about to happen."
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The Meaning of Life - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
The great minds of every age have debated the meaning of life. In these sixty seconds, Matthew Kelly explains that when we ask the question, “What is the meaning of life? what we really want to know is, What is the meaning of my life?
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Video Transcript:
"What is the meaning of life? The great minds of every age have been obsessed with this question, but it’s a question we all wrestle with in our own way.
Pablo Picasso said, “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Have you found your gift?
I’ve spent my life helping people become the-best-version-of-themselves, because I believe that is the meaning of life.
But when we ask the question, “what is the meaning of life,” we are not asking, what is the meaning of life for all 7 billion people on the planet. We’re asking, what is the meaning of my life?
Take some time to think about it. The great minds have thought about it, but now it’s time for you to think about it, and it is a question that’s worthy of our time.
Add your thoughts to the YouTube comments, and may your life be filled with love, laughter, and dreams come true."
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Change Your Life in One Minute - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
Can one minute change your life? In these sixty seconds, Matthew Kelly explains a simple one minute exercise that will inject your life with passion and purpose, change the way you see everything and everyone, focus you on what matters most in your life, and give you the courage to reject the things that don’t matter at all.
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Transcript:
"One minute that will change your life.
My five-year-old Ralph came into my study the other night, to say goodnight, I gave him a huge hug and a kiss, he’s just delicious. And I said to him, I love you for two forevers.
“No daddy,” he replied.
I said, “What do you mean?”
He said, “There is only one forever.
I said “Really?”
He said, “Yes, this life is not forever, we are only passing through this life, the only forever is in heaven.”
Alright, so let’s take a beat and sit with that for a minute, this is coming from a five-year-old.
[Ralph]
“This life is not forever.”
[MK]
“It isn’t?”
[Ralph]
“No. We are just passing through this world.”
Powerful! Take one minute every day for the rest of your life to think about the fact that you’re just passing through this life and soon you will be dead, and I guarantee you, you will live more passionately, more purposefully, more intentionally every day for the rest of your life."
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Heaven and Hell in 60 seconds
The Difference Between Heaven and Hell - Matthew Kelly - 60 Second Wisdom
The afterlife is a mystery. But that doesn’t stop us from trying to catch glimpses of what it might be like. In these sixty seconds, Matthew Kelly uses a simple analogy drawn from ancient spirituality to provide a glimpse. The goal of the video isn’t to provide comprehensive thought on the subject. Nobody can. The goal of this video is to draw our attention to the fact that this life is not forever. When we remember that we tend to live with more compassion and courage.
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Video Transcript:
"What is the difference between heaven and hell in 60 seconds? That’s the challenge I gave myself.
In hell, everyone’s at an amazing banquet, the tables are full of incredible food, and everyone is given a fork and the fork is six feet long.
And so they can get the food on the fork, but they can’t get the fork in their mouth and so everyone is starving. In hell everyone’s starving.
In heaven it’s different. It’s a huge banquet, it’s an amazing banquet, the tables are full of food stacked to the roof. Everyone is given the same six-foot-long fork, but they feed the person opposite them on the other side of the table.
That’s the difference between heaven and hell. In hell, people are starving, in heaven, people are full, they have their fill, they have their abundance."
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