So you're tired of struggling with porn and want to quit, but don't know where to start? Welcome to the Reclaimed Recovery podcast, where we help men break the shame and rewire their brains so they can get on to living a porn-free life. In this podcast, your host Kolton Thomas will walk you through step by step on how to achieve lasting freedom from porn without going through mountains of stress or fighting an exhausting battle. Will you listen and join our community of men who can honestly say they've reclaimed their freedom and have overcome porn for good?
In this episode with Dr. Eddie Capparucci, we discuss how men can unlock deeper emotional connections by reconnecting with their childhood experiences. Dr. Eddie Capparucci is the author of several books on healing from sex and pornography addiction, including Going Deeper and Why Men Struggle to Love.
As you listen, you will gain insights into how emotional underdevelopment during childhood fosters a fear of emotions and creates a reliance on unwanted behaviors like pornography. You'll also gain a deeper understanding of how emotional disconnection operates in a cyclical pattern, often exacerbating addiction and deteriorating relationships.
So often, pornography cultivates the harmful practice of viewing partners primarily through a lens of physical satisfaction, thereby missing out on genuine emotional bonding. But even small gains in emotional intelligence can dramatically transform one's life and relationships. Whether you're dealing with addiction or seeking to deepen your emotional connections, this episode offers the wisdom and tools to embark on a transformative path.
Here is a link that will take you to Dr. Eddie's work where you can learn more about his book, Why Men Struggle to Love, and the other resources he has to offer: www.innerchild-sexaddiction.com
If you're ready to dive even deeper into your healing journey with Reclaimed, consider joining our app for men who are 18+ where you can get connected to our transformational 10-week program. Through this experience, you will receive one-on-one coaching, thoughtful exercises, video courses, and increased visibility through new accountability relationships with like-minded men. Plus, you'll receive practical strategies for developing emotional intelligence and greater intimacy. Reach out to us at freedom@reclaimedrecovery.com or join the app today.
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Imagine a future where artificial intelligence is aimed at our deepest connections and desires. This is the potentially unsettling reality that Dustin Freeman and I wrestle with in this episode centered around AI and its impact on intimacy and sexuality. As technology seeps further into our lives, we confront the jarring reality that AI's role in intimacy could lead to a seismic shift in how we perceive human interaction—possibly sidelining the enriching complexities of real relationships for the convenience of simulated companionship.
As I sit down with Dustin, the pastor of a growing church and a father of five boys, we peel back the layers of how artificial relationships actually pale in comparison to the messy but beautiful tapestry of genuine human bonds. The fear that we're inching towards a world where emotional growth with real people is just an option looms over us. It's a poignant reminder that while AI can attempt to mirror the nuances of human intimacy, it lacks the transformative power of shared experiences that shape our character and resilience.
Last, our discussion takes us to the evolution of pornography aided by AI—an area of concern where synthetic experiences could eclipse the need for authentic intimacy and sexual interactions with a real person. This scenario isn't just speculation; it's a genuine possibility that demands a response. We advocate for a life where technology should be approached very cautiously when it comes to aiding in our relationships. While we believe AI could serve some useful purposes in the relationship realm, such as an occasional tool for receiving feedback about ourselves, we also believe it is dangerous to see AI as a source of intimacy in and of itself, let alone a tool that can be leveraged to help improve our relationships.
Our heartfelt message is one of empowerment, encouraging men to cultivate relational fortitude in the face of seductive digital advances, championing a future where meaningful human touch remains irreplaceable.
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Are you hungry for a deeper exploration of your story when it comes to overcoming shame and pornography addiction? With our returning guest, Allan Standford, we examine how pornography use is actually a misguided strategy for working out our struggles and life stories.
The episode drives even deeper into the dark corridors of fear- the fear of rejection, and its intertwined relationship with unwanted sexual behaviors. We dissect this fear, tracing its origin to the unsettling lack of control in vulnerable, loving relationships. As we tread these murky waters, we also expose the exploitative and coercive face of the pornography industry. We urge you to delve into your personal biases and understand the root of your motivations, a critical step towards initiating positive changes. Further, we explore how pornography sometimes serves as a 'window looking out from your inner turmoil and a desperate longing for love."
Join us, as we wrestle with these challenging topics in our quest to understand and overcome.
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What if I told you that the way you understand sex and sexuality is influenced more by culture than you realize? In this episode, we venture through the history of Christian sexual ethics with our guest, Jonathan Storment, who talks about how the perception and treatment of women, sex, and children have evolved over the years. Jonathan illuminates why this understanding is pivotal to our modern culture, and highlights the struggle men face with pornography, despite its known detriments.
Commercial sexualization is also an important topic that has an impact on our lives. Later in the episode, we dissect how this phenomenon has obstructed our ability to celebrate Jesus with our bodies and has eroded the sanctity of human connection. We also reflect on the allure of secular perspectives on sex and how the divine encounter between Jesus and the Samaritan woman offers a fresh, sacred outlook on sex and sexuality. Tune in to this episode for a riveting exploration of Christian sexual ethics in the contemporary world.
Here's a link to a highly recommended book by Louis Perry called "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" which gives an accurate depiction of what pornography and hook-up culture has been doing to our society: https://a.co/d/4JQAyce (Warning: the book does contain dark and explicit content which the author uses to make key points, so it is not advisable for children).
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Have you ever grappled with the claws of addiction and found yourself at the point of giving up? In this moving conversation with Andrew, we unravel his journey of battling with porn, his search for acceptance, and eventually reclaiming his identity. Andrew bares his soul about his struggle with pornography and how it began from a place of low self-esteem and marital dissatisfaction. He walks us through his recovery with the Reclaimed 10-week journey for men, and he shares how the personalized coaching he received helped him understand his triggers and coax out his inner child.
In this episode, Andrew also speaks of the strain of parenthood and the slow drift apart from his wife he experienced years into their marriage. From the ashes of this troubled relationship emerges a tale of patience, grace, prayer, and ultimately, a rekindling. Andrew's story is a testament to the power of love, the strength of God's healing, and the beauty of forgiveness.
Finally, we delve into Andrew's journey of finding purpose and support in his recovery. Andrew speaks of his career in sales and how his new perspective has informed his professional life. We discuss the power of community and the role it played in helping him reclaim his identity, free of pornography. The episode concludes with an introduction to the Reclaimed 10-Week Journey, a program offering personalized coaching, group calls, and weekly videos to guide you toward a porn-free life. Visit https://reclaimedrecovery.com to find out more, and join us for this compelling tale of transformation, self-love, and acceptance.
Support the showIf you're enjoying this podcast, Reclaimed and Unashamed, please consider leaving a review and making a donation to help us deliver more life-changing content!
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Imagine a world where you're confident in yourself, free from the shackles of shame and guilt associated with unwanted pornography use. A world where understanding your attachments can lead to a healthier, more fulfilling life. Join me, Kolton Thomas, as I sit down with one of my mentors, Alan Stanford, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. As we journey together, we explore Alan's unique insights on the shame surrounding pornography use, the power of understanding attachment styles, and the transformational strategies to rewire the brain.
Let's face it, we all have some form of attachment wounding that pushes us towards fantasies of being accepted without expectations. As we brave this conversation, my mentor Alan unveils the hidden complexities of unhealthy attachments and their profound impact on our relationships. We talk about the dance of qualifying for attachment, the prevalence of humiliation in certain pornography genres, and the stark reality of how these wounds can lead to compulsive behaviors. The beauty of this discussion is not just in its raw honesty, but in its ability to spark self-awareness and drive change.
As we venture further into the labyrinth of our attachment wounds, we discuss the allure of darker fantasies, why pornography can be a tempting crutch during the healing journey, and the possibility of using fantasies as exposure therapy. But, don't fret! This journey isn't all gloom and doom. We conclude by shedding light on hope, healing, and overcoming pornography addiction. With courage, accountability, prayer, and spiritual guidance, fear can be replaced with healing. Join us for this enlightening conversation and let's rewrite your narrative together.
Support the showIf you're enjoying this podcast, Reclaimed and Unashamed, please consider leaving a review and making a donation to the podcast to help us deliver more life-changing content!
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Get ready to embark on a transformative journey as we welcome an accomplished speaker, church leader, and scholar, Jonathan Stormant, to shed light on the profound teachings of Pope John Paul II's work titled Theology of the Body. Transformed himself by these writings, Jonathan dissects the complex intersection of faith, culture, and sexuality, emphasizing the divine origins of our deepest romantic impulses and the inherent goodness of our bodies. As we journey through the narrative of Adam and Eve, we discover how embracing our God-given dignity can lead us to the path of fulfillment and resilience against the sexual depravity prevalent in our culture.
Our exploration doesn't stop there. Steering the conversation towards the damaging aftermath of so-called 'sexual liberation,' we scrutinize the empty promises of pornography. Recall the allure that Christian sexual ethics held during the first century, and question why it is now often overlooked. Jonathan guides us through the idea of 'chasing the sunbeam back to the sun', a metaphor for our relentless pursuit of God in all things, including our sexuality. This episode is not just about challenging norms, but about redefining our understanding of sexuality, faith, and culture. This isn't your typical theological discussion; it's a call to reevaluate and embrace a healthier, more fulfilling vision of sex, love, and marriage.
If you're interested in showing some support to Jonathan, consider listening to his podcast Bonafide about important faith conversations and share it with some friends. Also, be sure to leave his podcast a review. The podcast is out on all platforms, here are a couple of links:
Support the showIf you're enjoying this podcast, Reclaimed and Unashamed, please consider leaving a review and making a donation to the podcast to help us deliver more life-changing content!
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In episode 15 of the Reclaimed Recovery Podcast, we interview special guest Dustin Freeman of the St Anglican Church in Little Rock, Arkansas. This episode is designed to help men think deeply about the silent, cultural struggle men face with addictions like pornography, and how we can find strength and healing through community (in spite of our culture). The episode calls us to be more aware of how culture and history have shaped us, and finally we view the issue of pornography through a Christian lens in terms of how we can mature beyond it toward what our hearts are truly desiring.
If you'd like to learn more from Dustin on the Church in a Changing Culture, check out the podcast series he did here on this custom playlist in Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0j0YGYF4PwUei2ZsiDa5I9?si=15766b4c9c1244f1
If you'd like to get connected with the community at Reclaimed, visit our website at https://reclaimedrecovery.com to learn more about the resources, including our 1-on-1 coaching program and our community app for men.
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Are you struggling to understand why you keep reacting the same way to the same old problem repeatedly? Are you avoiding the moment when you have to face your genuine fears and emotions? Do you keep distracting yourself so you don't have to face the truth from your past? In this episode, we hear from a special guest, Dr. Eddie Capparucci, who helps us understand how to conquer the addictive brain by strengthening your inner child.
Here is a link that will take you to Dr. Eddie's work where you can read more about his book, Going Deeper: Understanding How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction, and the inner child program he offers: www.innerchild-sexaddiction.com
Please know that if you're struggling with pornography, there is no reason why you should have to do it alone or without the proper tools and resources to help you! For men only, you can get connected quickly and easily to our community app and find resources and encouragement for healing and getting yourself unstuck from the vicious cycle of porn. Visit https://community.reclaimedrecovery.com and fill out a quick application to join and participate in the community.
If you want to commit further and invest in yourself and in a program that gets results when it comes to quitting pornography, then join our app and watch our free masterclass on overcoming porn once inside. There you will find an invitation to consider our transformative 10-Week Journey, filled with challenging exercises, one-on-one coaching, and effective accountability that set you on a journey toward transformation and freedom in this area of your life. Just join the app and watch the free Masterclass inside to find out more.
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In this episode, special guest Ben joins us to share his story on overcoming pornography. Ben went through the Reclaimed 10-Week Journey and, all praise be to God, found lots of healing, hope, and growth. Listen in on his story and be encouraged — you CAN do something about the habit of pornography in your life.
If you're looking to make a real change in this area of your life, go to community.reclaimedrecovery.com and request to join our private app. From there, you will find more resources to help you on your journey, as well as ways you can contact Kolton about going through the same coaching experience Ben went through as he describes it in this episode.
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In part 2 of understanding root causes, we explore 5 more deep underlying causes that tend to work together synergistically to draw men into the struggle with porn:
Understanding these underlying causes is a big first step to finding more freedom and self-control. Knowledge is power, and the revealing comes before the healing.
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In this episode, we explore some of the most common root causes of a porn habit. In part 1, we will uncover 5 root causes that tend to work synergistically to draw men into the struggle with porn:
Understanding these underlying causes is a big first step to finding more freedom and self-control. Knowledge is power, and the revealing comes before the healing.
Stay tuned for the sequel to this episode, root causes part 2, where we will cover 5 more common root causes of unwanted behaviors related to pornography.
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In the third and final part of our testosterone series, we address some frequently asked questions and most debated topics regarding pornography, testosterone, erectile dysfunction, and more.
We also wrap up this mini-series on science and pornography by tying together a few of the biggest takeaways from the last few episodes as we looked at dopamine, conditioning of the brain, and testosterone.
The bottom line: There is good research to suggest that porn is unhealthy and unnatural to the brain. There are many opposing voices, but in our opinion, the evidence is hard to ignore along with the testimonies of hundreds of thousands of men online who have said that quitting porn was healthy and even life-changing for them.
We also learned that when it comes to important hormones and molecules in our brains and bodies, it's important to integrate simple habits that will help us balance and optimize healthy baseline levels. This can make a huge difference in how we're feeling from day to day and should work synergistically with our efforts to quit a stubborn porn habit.
Last, we talked about how conditioning the brain overtime to certain stimulus actually 'rewires' the brain, and how this is probably the biggest reason why men struggle to walk away from it. It becomes a 'chemical support' for our brains that brings comfort and stability in various situations.
For now, we are going to take a break from more science-heavy topics and move on to some other key points surrounding pornography - but we will return to the science very soon!
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In testosterone part 2, we take a look at multiple factors that can affect our baseline levels of testosterone, especially sex and pornography, and we work to draw some conclusions about the harmful effects of porn and how it disrupts some of our natural biological processes.
Learning about the hormones like testosterone and dopamine that drive your day-to-day energy, mood, and mindset is a part of our strategy to help you get unstuck and farther along in your journey to overcome porn.
Scientific information about testosterone for this podcast came from several reliable sources, but Dr. Andrew Huberman's podcast episode on testosterone and estrogen was one of the primaries. If you want to dive deeper into the science of how these sex steroid hormones work, check out his 2-hour podcast episode on Youtube here.
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Testosterone is a hormone so vital to men's health, yet it's often overlooked in conversations related to identity, self-worth, and a man's journey to overcome pornography.
In part one of this topic, we begin with learning some basic scientific facts about testosterone and then transition into a discussion about what science can tell us about our identities as men and our struggles with porn.
Scientific information about testosterone for this podcast came from several reliable sources, but Dr. Andrew Huberman's podcast episode on testosterone and estrogen was one of the primaries. If you want to dive deeper into the science of how these sex steroid hormones work, check out his 2-hour podcast episode here.
If you're looking for coaching, community, and a hands-on approach to help you recover from a porn habit, reach out to us at Reclaimed Recovery by downloading our private app or visiting our website at https://reclaimedrecovery.com
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In this episode, we take a deep dive with guest Drew Boa to uncover the heart of the issue when it comes to pornography. Drew leads a community of men at Husband Material, where he coaches men on how to 'outgrow porn.'
Key topics in this episode include
Check out Drew's website at https://www.husbandmaterial.com.
If you're looking for coaching, community, and a hands-on approach to help you recover from porn, contact either us at Reclaimed Recovery or reach out to Drew and his team at Husband Material. Either way, we'll get you on the right track, and there's no better time to start your recovery than now.
https://reclaimedrecovery.com/
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Ever wonder why your brain decides to light up for certain things and not for others? Have you found yourself craving unwanted habits and behaviors, without a real explanation as to why? This episode provides a basic understanding of how your brain is conditioned to desire pornography and other unwanted behaviors using the chemical dopamine and the psychological principle of conditioning.
What we learn from conditioning is that sexual urges are paired with the instant gratification that porn offers to form a bond. This bond is strengthened over time and begins to condition our brains to expect a similar response each time we feel sexually aroused. This also helps explain why we may develop certain cues or triggers, such as times of the day or specific locations, which cause us to seek out porn for that familiar rush of dopamine.
The great hope that science offers on this topic is that just as our brains can be conditioned for porn, they can be unconditioned. Reversing such strong conditioning often takes time and requires a multi-faceted approach, but it is possible and has been proven by science and by countless men who have made the journey already.
Join us for this episode to learn how conditioning works and how you can begin to reverse the damage porn has done to your brain.
https://reclaimedrecovery.com
Here's a supplemental article at Fight the New Drug that offers a quick rundown of Pavlovian conditioning and why porn can be so hard to quit: https://fightthenewdrug.org/why-porn-can-be-difficult-to-quit/
Here's an article from simplypsychology.org that provides an explanation of Pavlovian conditioning using more scientific terms: https://www.simplypsychology.org/pavlov.html#:~:text=Pavlov%20showed%20that%20dogs%20could,an%20unconditioned%20(innate)%20response.
A scary article from Your Brain on Porn that shows how porn can lead men to develop dangerous and unnatural tastes for sex due to repeated conditioning over time: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/sexual-conditioning/
Have you ever wondered why your brain keeps you coming back to addictive habits like pornography, even though you're trying really hard to stop? In this episode, Kolton gives an overview of how dopamine works to train your brain. We cover many essential questions related to dopamine, such as:
Understanding the neuroscience and behavioral science that goes with these questions can be very empowering in the struggle with porn. The good news is, our brains and bodies are capable of extraordinary things, and healing is one of those things. The same power that made us, is capable of healing us, and damage done to the brain can be reversed.
For this episode, we want to credit the Huberman Lab Podcast. We referenced Andrew Huberman (neuroscience teacher at Stanford University) and his 2-hour masterclass on dopamine to create some of our content in this episode. If you want to check out his podcast and take a deeper dive into dopamine, you can check it out here:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/42F7z6Z4CB8hJAstRqMCiV?si=vJuiXkxdTOCjCS2hHTPwqg
Another great resource we cited in this episode was Gary Wilson's best-selling book, 'Your Brain on Porn', You can check out their website, which does a phenomenal job at explaining the neuroscience behind why porn is so harmful, here: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/
See https://reclaimedrecovery.com/ for more helpful resources and tools Reclaimed has to equip men for overcoming their struggle with porn.
In this episode, we explain why the science behind porn recovery is so crucial for overcoming it. In the midst of other challenges we face in life, such as chronic pain and depression, porn can become even more alluring as an escape or a solution to our problems. That's why it's important to understand the science and how it can help us persevere in times when the struggle is real. Learning about how our body is capable of healing, adapting, and rebalancing can be empowering when it feels like we are losing hope.
Later in this episode, Kolton also shares a personal story about his struggle with chronic pain and his experience being treated in a clinical setting with the drug ketamine. Kolton shares what he learned and took away from the experience, as well as how it opened his eyes to the importance of optimizing the chemicals in our brain and the hormones in our body.
This episode begins an important series on the science and psychology behind porn addiction and why it's applicable to faith-based men.
If you'd like to read more about ketamine and how it's being used to treat chronic pain and depression, you can read more at Harvard Health by clicking this link here: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/ketamine-for-major-depression-new-tool-new-questions-2019052216673
To learn more about Reclaimed, please visit our website at https://reclaimedrecovery.com/
How long will it take to rewire your brain from porn? How can you know whether you're even addicted to porn? This episode addresses these questions and other introductory topics when it comes to porn recovery.
This episode also includes more information about Reclaimed. What is Reclaimed, and what types of resources does it offer? We'll walk you through some of Reclaimed's resources in this episode including the community app, the free online training, and the 10-week online coaching course we use to help men achieve lasting freedom from porn.
Links to our resources:
How do we define success and freedom when it comes to porn recovery? In this episode, we will provide 3 benchmarks you can use for determining whether you're on your way to overcoming porn.
These measures for success are defined as:
Plus, stick around til the end of our episode for what we believe is the true definition of freedom from porn.
Links to our resources:
Why is it that so many men struggle with porn even after facing its consequences? Why is it so hard to quit? Have they given up hope? Do they even believe it's possible for them?
No matter how often you find yourself using porn, whether occasionally or multiple times per day, this episode is about believing again that you can become someone who no longer struggles with porn.
There is a porn-free identity waiting for you to reclaim, and I believe so deep down that each and every person who struggles with porn CAN BE FULLY RESTORED from the damage it's done in their lives - all it takes is the right information, the right strategy, and a willingness to take action.
https://reclaimedrecovery.com/