Cath Daley: Recent Episodes
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One of the questions I hear coaches ask most often is, “What’s the best question to ask here?”
I understand why. We all want to ask questions that unlock something important for our clients. We collect them from books, courses and social media posts, hoping to find that one question that will create a breakthrough.
But I wonder whether we sometimes give the question too much credit.
It’s Not the QuestionI’ve listened to thousands of coaching conversations over the years as a mentor, assessor and MCC coach. What strikes me isn’t that the strongest coaches have a secret collection of brilliant questions. In fact, many of their questions are remarkably ordinary.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Can you say a bit more?”
“What are you noticing?”
There’s nothing particularly clever about them.
The difference is not the wording. It’s the attention behind the words.
A question asked from genuine curiosity lands very differently from exactly the same question asked because the coach thinks they ought to ask something powerful. Clients notice the difference, even if they couldn’t explain why.
Where Is Your Attention?When we’re busy searching our mental library for the perfect question, our attention inevitably shifts away from the client and towards ourselves. We start evaluating, planning and performing. The coaching conversation subtly becomes about whether we’re doing a good job rather than about what is actually unfolding in front of us.
Ironically, that is often the moment we become less helpful.
I’ve noticed that some of the deepest moments in coaching don’t arrive because the coach asks an extraordinary question. They happen because the client feels deeply heard. They have enough space to stay with a thought a little longer, to hear themselves more clearly and to notice something they had been overlooking.
Presence Creates the ConditionsPresence creates the conditions for insight.
The question simply gives it somewhere to land.
This doesn’t mean that questions don’t matter. Of course they do. Poorly timed, leading or closed questions can narrow thinking instead of opening it.
But if we’re constantly searching for the next impressive question, we may be missing the conversation that is already happening.
Some of the most transformative coaching I’ve witnessed has come from coaches who were willing to slow down, remain curious and trust that they didn’t have to manufacture insight. They weren’t trying to sound like great coaches. They were simply interested in the person sitting opposite them.
Your Client Knows the DifferenceIt’s not about our coaching technique or vocabulary, or our ability to produce a question worthy of a coaching textbook.
Clients respond to the experience of having someone fully with them, listening without rushing them, without trying to fix them, being comfortable with not knowing.
When that quality of attention is present, even the simplest question can cause a shift in thinking.
And without it, even the cleverest question falls flat.
A Reflection Question…The next time you’re coaching, notice how much time you spend searching for the “right” question.
What changes when you stop trying to ask a brilliant question and instead give your full attention to understanding what is happening for your client in this moment?
Until next time,
Cath
The post Your Client Doesn’t Need Your Best Question appeared first on Cath Daley.
One of the ideas I’ve been reflecting on recently is how our desire to understand our clients can sometimes get in the way of coaching them.
At first glance, that probably sounds like a strange thing to say. Surely understanding our clients is part of being a good coach?
I don’t think it is.
As coaches, we naturally make sense of what we hear. We listen to someone’s story and our experience starts making connections.
We remember similar clients, similar conversations or perhaps something we’ve learned on a training course. Without even noticing it, we begin to create an explanation for what’s happening.
The difficulty is that, from that moment on, we’re no longer listening with quite the same openness. We’re listening through the filter of our own understanding.
The Danger of Making Sense Too QuicklyI’ve noticed wioth the coaches I mentor, the more experience they have, the easier it becomes to think they know where the conversation is heading.
It rarely comes from arrogance. More often it comes from wanting to help.
But when they believe they’ve worked out what’s going on, their questions can subtly change. Instead of exploring the client’s thinking, they find themselves exploring their interpretation of it. They are very different conversations.
The assumptions are usually quiet. They don’t arrive announcing themselves. They sound more like, “This reminds me of…” or “I’ve seen this before.”
Sometimes they’re right and a lot of the time they’re not.
When Labels Become LensesI often hear coaches say they don’t feel equipped to coach someone with ADHD, autism or another diagnosis because they don’t know enough about the condition.
I see it rather differently.
An awareness of these conditions is important. It helps us coach ethically, recognise when additional support may be appropriate and avoid making uninformed assumptions.
What I don’t think we need is to understand the condition in order to coach the person.
In fact, the more certain we become that we understand ADHD, for example, the easier it is to interpret everything the client says through that lens. Before long, we’re no longer listening to this individual. We’re listening to our knowledge of ADHD.
The label may describe a diagnosis, but it tells us very little about how this particular person experiences their world.
Every client is unique, regardless of any label they carry.
A Different Way of Thinking About CoachingOver the years, my thinking about coaching has shifted quite significantly.
I used to believe that one of my roles was to understand my client.
Now I see it differently.
As a coach, I don’t need to understand the person. My role is to help them understand themselves more deeply.
That changes everything.
It means I don’t need to search for the right explanation or work out what’s really going on. Instead, I can stay alongside the client, remaining genuinely curious about how they see things and allowing their own understanding to unfold.
I’ve found that some of the most significant moments in coaching happen when I let go of needing to know. That’s often when the client says something neither of us expected and a completely fresh insight begins to emerge.
Remaining CuriousPerhaps experience doesn’t make us better coaches because we understand people more.
Perhaps it makes us better coaches when we become more comfortable with not needing to understand.
Our clients are the experts on their own experience. They don’t need us to explain it to them.
They need us to create the conditions in which they can see it more clearly for themselves.
For me, that’s where coaching becomes transformational.
A Couple of Questions for you to Reflect on….Think about your last coaching conversation.
Where might your own understanding, knowledge or experience have influenced the questions you asked?
What might have become possible if you had stayed with curiosity just a little longer?
Until next time,
Cath
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Every coaching conversation contains two conversations.
One is obvious- it’s the conversation with the client.
The other is the conversation we are having with ourselves, and whilst that second conversation is invisible, it often has just as much influence on the quality of the coaching.
The quality of our coaching depends on both.
The Conversation We Rarely NoticeAs coaches, we spend years learning how to listen more deeply, ask better questions and create the conditions for insight.
Yet we rarely talk about the constant stream of thinking running alongside the session and the effect it can have if we’re not aware of it.
It might sound familiar:
“I think I know what’s going on here.”
“They’re avoiding the real issue.”
“This isn’t moving fast enough.”
“I need a better question.”
“I’ve heard this before.”
“I need to ask a more powerful question.”
“This session isn’t going very well.”
This is simply what minds do, we think. The problem isn’t that these thoughts appear. The problem comes when we unknowingly start coaching from them.
Without realising it, our attention shifts away from the client and towards our own interpretation of what’s happening. Instead of listening with fresh curiosity, we’re listening through the filter of our own conclusions, looking for evidence that supports what we’ve already decided.
When that happens our thinking becomes another participant in the room.
When Understanding Gets in the WayThis is one of the reasons I often say that I don’t need to understand my client.
That sometimes surprises coaches, particularly those who are keen to develop expertise in areas such as ADHD, trauma, burnout or neurodiversity. Whilst having knowledge can certainly be helpful in understanding context, it can also create an illusion that we already know what this client’s experience means.
The more certain we become that we understand, the greater the risk that we stop being curious. We begin to fill in the gaps ourselves instead of allowing the client to discover them. We ask questions that make sense to us rather than questions that open up new thinking for them.
We begin listening for evidence that we’re right; we start deciding where the conversation needs to go.
We ask questions that satisfy our curiosity rather than serving the client’s learning.
Before long we’re no longer partnering with the client, we’re partnering with our own assumptions.
This is one reason why experienced coaches can sometimes find themselves making bigger assumptions than newer coaches. Experience gives us patterns to recognise, but it can also tempt us to believe we already know what’s going on.
We don’t. Every client is experiencing their world in a way that only they can fully understand.
Noticing Rather Than Believing Your ThinkingI’m not suggesting that coaches should somehow stop thinking-that would be impossible.
What matters is noticing when our thinking has become louder than our client’s
The moment we recognise that we’re trying to solve, interpret, rescue, impress or steer the conversation towards our own idea of where it should go, we have a choice.
We can continue following our own thinking, or we can return our attention to the only conversation that really matters – your client’s.
That is often where presence begins.
Not by trying harder to be present, but by becoming less absorbed in the conversation we’re having with ourselves.
Ironically, when we become less caught up in our own thinking, the more available we are to theirs.
Presence Begins with the Coach Our job as coaches is to help our clients understand themselves.
That requires us to be willing to let go of our need to make sense of everything we hear.
It means becoming comfortable with uncertainty and trusting that awareness belongs to the client, not to the coach.
When we let go of our need to make sense of every word, clients often begin making sense of their own experience in ways neither of us could have predicted.
Perhaps coaching presence isn’t simply about being fully present with another person.
Perhaps it’s also about not becoming entangled in the conversation we’re having with ourselves.
A Question to Take Into Your Next SessionDuring your next coaching session, notice your own internal conversation.
As you finish your next coaching session, pause before writing your notes and ask yourself:
Which conversation was shaping my coaching more, the one with my client or the one I was having with myself?
Until Next Time
Cath
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Coaching has become increasingly popular over the last decade.
Organisations invest in it, leaders seek it out and coaches passionately advocate for it.
Yet there is something important that often gets overlooked:
Coaching is not for everyone.
At least, not at every stage of life, career, or personal development.
That is not a criticism of coaching. In fact, it is one of the reasons coaching can be so powerful when the timing and conditions are right.
Coaching Is a Process, Not a Quick FixOne of the biggest misconceptions about coaching is that it provides answers.
People sometimes arrive hoping a coach will tell them what to do, solve their problems, or provide a step-by-step formula for success.
That is not how coaching works.
Coaching is a partnership that helps people think more clearly, see situations from different perspectives, and discover their own answers. It requires active participation from the client rather than passive consumption of advice.
For that reason, coaching works best when someone is:
- Open to growth
- Willing to reflect honestly
- Ready to take responsibility for their choices
- Committed to making changes
- Prepared to have conversations that may sometimes feel uncomfortable
Growth rarely happens through comfort alone.
When Coaching Is Unlikely to Be EffectiveIn my experience, coaching tends to struggle when someone is looking for a quick fix without being willing to do the work that meaningful change requires.
It can also be difficult when a person:
- Avoids accountability
- Rejects feedback completely
- Expects someone else to rescue them
- Resists self-awareness
- Blames everyone else for their circumstances
- Wants motivation without taking action
The challenge is that coaching is built on personal ownership.
A coach cannot create transformation for someone.
They can create the conditions for transformation, but the client must be willing to engage with the process.
You cannot force insight and you cannot manufacture readiness.
And you certainly cannot coach someone into change they do not genuinely want.
What Makes Coaching Powerful?The most successful coaching relationships are partnerships.
The coach brings presence, curiosity, perspective, challenge, support and a structured process for exploration.
The client brings honesty, commitment, openness, responsibility and a willingness to act on what they discover.
When both parties contribute fully, something remarkable can happen.
People gain clarity about what truly matters to them.
They challenge assumptions they didn’t realise were limiting them.
They begin making choices that are more aligned with who they are and what they want.
And that is when coaching becomes transformational.
Sometimes Coaching Isn’t the Right Next StepAnother important truth is that not everyone who seeks coaching actually needs coaching.
Sometimes what a person needs first is:
- Training to build knowledge or skills
- Mentoring from someone with relevant experience
- Therapy to work through emotional wounds
- Education to gain understanding
- Leadership development programmes
- Time and stability to navigate challenging life circumstances
A good coach recognises these distinctions and is willing to have an honest conversation about what would be most helpful.
The Real QuestionPerhaps the question is not, “Does everyone need coaching?”
A more useful question might be:
“Am I ready for coaching?”
Because coaching is not something that can be imposed from the outside.
It is a process of exploration, awareness, and change that works best when a person actively chooses to participate in it.
The most profound transformations rarely happen because someone was told what to do.
They happen because, through reflection and insight, they begin to see new possibilities for themselves and decide to act on them.
And that is why coaching can be life-changing for some people, while not being the right solution for everyone.
Until next time,CathP.S. If this article has prompted you to reflect on where you are and where you’d like to be, I’d be happy to have a conversation. A complimentary call can help you explore whether coaching is the right next step for you.The post Coaching Isn’t for Everyone and That’s Exactly Why It Works. appeared first on Cath Daley.
This may sound like an unusual thing for an ICF Master Certified Coach, ICF Certified Assessor and Coach Mentor to say.
I believe strongly in the value of ICF credentialing. I have seen it help coaches deepen their understanding of the Core Competencies, develop greater confidence in their practice, and gain recognition for their professionalism.
Yet I also believe something that is not talked about often enough:
An ICF credential is not the right path for every coach.
And that’s perfectly okay.
A Credential Is Not the GoalOver the years, I have spoken to many coaches who have asked me whether they should pursue an ICF credential.
My response is usually another question:
What’s the reason you want one?
The answer matters.
Sometimes coaches want a credential because it is required by their organisation or clients.
Sometimes they want to deepen their coaching practice.
Sometimes they see it as a personal or professional milestone.
These can all be good reasons.
What concerns me is when coaches pursue credentialing simply because they believe they should.
As the coaching profession has evolved significantly credentials have become more visible and more valued. As a result, some coaches can begin to feel that they are somehow incomplete without one.
That simply isn’t true.
What A Credential Can Give YouAn ICF credential can provide many benefits.
It offers an internationally recognised standard; it demonstrates commitment to professional development; it can create opportunities with organisations that require accredited coaches.
Perhaps most importantly, the process itself often helps coaches become more reflective and intentional in their practice.
Many coaches emerge from coach mentoring and assessment with a deeper appreciation of what effective coaching really looks like.
These are valuable outcomes.
What A Credential Cannot Give YouHowever, there are some things a credential cannot provide.
It cannot create confidence if confidence is lacking.
It cannot guarantee clients.
It cannot replace experience.
And it cannot instantly turn someone into a highly skilled coach.
The letters after your name may open a door, but they do not do the coaching for you.
The quality of your coaching will always be shaped by your presence, your curiosity, your ability to build partnership, and your willingness to continue learning.
There Are Other Ways To DevelopNot every coach needs to pursue credentialing right now.
Depending on where you are in your journey, you may benefit more from supervision, coach mentoring, additional coaching experience, specialist training, personal development, or simply spending more time coaching and reflecting on your practice.
Professional development is not a one-size-fits-all process.
The important thing is choosing the development that serves your goals rather than following a path because others expect you to.
A Better QuestionRather than asking:
“Should I get an ICF credential?”
Perhaps a more useful question is:
“What am I hoping an ICF credential will give me?”
Your answer may reveal that credentialing is exactly the right next step.
Or it may reveal that another development opportunity would serve you better at this moment.
Neither answer is right or wrong.
The key is making a conscious choice rather than simply following the crowd.
If you’re considering your first credential, renewing an existing one, or wondering what the upcoming ICF changes may mean for you, take some time to reflect on your reasons.
Clarity about your motivation is often the best place to start.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. If you’re exploring whether an ICF credential is the right next step for you, I’d be happy to have a conversation. Sometimes a short discussion can help bring clarity to your options and identify the development pathway that best supports your goals as a coach.
Click here to book a call.
The post An ICF Credential Is Not Right for Every Coach appeared first on Cath Daley.
Many coaches invest significant time, money and energy in their coach training.
Some complete a Level 1 or Level 2 programme. Others train through independent coach training schools, specialist coaching programmes, corporate coaching qualifications or professional development courses.
They attend workshops, complete assignments, practise coaching and often leave feeling excited about the difference coaching can make.
Yet when it comes to applying for an ICF credential, many discover they still don’t feel fully prepared.
This isn’t a criticism of coach training providers. In fact, many programmes do an excellent job of teaching coaching skills and helping coaches build a solid foundation.
The issue is that completing coach training and being credential ready are not always the same thing.
Training and Credentialing Serve Different PurposesMost coach training programmes are designed to help coaches learn how to coach.
They introduce coaching principles, ethical practice, listening skills, powerful questions and coaching frameworks. They help coaches develop confidence and begin finding their own style.
Credentialing serves a different purpose.
The ICF credentialing process is not assessing whether you have attended training or whether you understand coaching concepts in theory. It is assessing whether you understand and can consistently demonstrate the ICF Core Competencies in a real coaching conversation.
There is often a gap between understanding coaching and demonstrating coaching at the level required for credentialing.
The Gap Many Coaches ExperienceOver the years, I have worked with coaches from a wide range of training backgrounds.
Some completed ICF-accredited programmes. Others trained through excellent independent schools. Some have been coaching successfully for years before deciding to pursue a credential.
Despite their different backgrounds, many share similar concerns.
They wonder:
- What are assessors actually listening for?
- How do the competencies show up in a real conversation?
- What is the difference between understanding a competency and demonstrating it consistently?
- How do I stay present when I know my coaching is being evaluated?
- How do I trust myself enough to coach naturally rather than trying to sound like a coach?
These are not knowledge problems.
More often, they are calibration problems.
Why Coach Mentoring MattersThis is where coach mentoring can make such a significant difference.
Coach mentoring is not about teaching coaches how to coach all over again.
It is about helping them understand how the competencies show up in practice, recognise what is already working, identify what may be getting in the way and develop greater confidence in their own coaching.
Many coaches discover that the challenge is not a lack of skill. It is a tendency to overthink, second-guess themselves or focus so much on passing that they lose touch with the natural qualities that make coaching effective.
Presence, partnership, curiosity and trust are difficult to perform on demand.
They tend to emerge when a coach has a deeper understanding of what great coaching actually is.
Beyond TrainingCompleting a coach training programme is a significant achievement but it is often the beginning rather than the end of professional development.
The strongest coaches I know continue to refine their practice long after their initial training is complete. They stay curious; they seek feedback;they reflect on their coaching and continue learning from experience.
Credential readiness is rarely about accumulating more information.
More often, it comes from developing a deeper understanding of the competencies and learning to trust yourself enough to let your coaching emerge naturally.
A Reflection for you…..If you are considering an ICF credential, or perhaps wondering why the process feels more challenging than you expected, take a moment to reflect:
What would help you feel genuinely credential ready?
Would it be more training?
Or would it be a deeper understanding of how effective coaching actually shows up in coaching conversations?
The answer may point towards the next stage of your development as a coach.
Until next time
Cath
P.S. You don’t need another qualification to become credential ready. You may simply need greater clarity, calibration and confidence in your coaching. If you’re working towards an ICF credential and would like support, book a discovery call here and let’s explore where you are and what would help you move forward.
The post The Gap Nobody Talks About appeared first on Cath Daley.
It Started with FrustrationLa Dolce Vita for Coaches came about because of something that had bothered me for years.
Like many coaches, I’ve attended professional development events in some wonderful locations.
Beautiful cities, stunning hotels in places full of history, culture and character.
And yet, when I returned home, I often realised I’d barely experienced any of it.
The pattern was usually the same. Breakfast, then training room, then lunch, then training room, then dinner, then bed.
The training might have been very good but I could have been almost anywhere in the world.
Apart from looking out of the window occasionally, I hadn’t really connected with the place itself.
And as an Advanced Skills Teacher and Trainer I knew there was a better way to maximise the learning at the same time as enjoying the experience of being in a beautiful place.
We Need Space to ThinkAs coaches, we spend much of our time helping clients slow down, reflect and gain new perspectives.
We know that insight rarely arrives when someone is rushing from one thing to the next. It often emerges in the pauses, the spaces between conversations and the moments when there is room to think.
Yet many professional development events are designed around squeezing as much content as possible into every available minute.
I wanted to create something different that was more brain friendly and less frantic.
Rather than packing every hour with presentations and activities, I wanted to create an experience where learning had room to breathe.
A place where coaches could deepen their practice, reflect on what they were discovering and allow new ideas to settle before moving on to the next thing.
More Than a Training ProgrammeLa Dolce Vita for Coaches is intentionally designed as more than a training programme.
Of course, there are workshops, coaching conversations, practical activities, time to play and opportunities to develop your coaching skills.
But there is also time.
Time to walk through the streets of Pisa.
Time to sit with a coffee and a notebook.
Time to enjoy long conversations over lunch and dinner.
Time to visit local markets, explore Tuscany or simply spend an afternoon by the pool or in the spa.
Often some of the most valuable learning doesn’t happen during a workshop.
It happens afterwards.
Maybe in a conversation with another coach which sparks a new idea or on a walk that helps you see something differently.
A moment of reflection brings clarity to something you’ve been wrestling with for months.
Those moments matter and I wanted to create space for them.
“A beautifully balanced experience where deep learning had time to percolate and embed. The conversations continued long after the workshops ended.”
Why I Chose a Luxury VenueOne of the questions I am sometimes asked is why I chose a five-star hotel for the event.
The answer is simple.
Coaches spend so much of their lives supporting others.
We listen, encourage, challenge and hold space. We help our clients navigate uncertainty, complexity and change.
Yet many coaches rarely give themselves permission to be looked after.
I wanted La Dolce Vita for Coaches to feel special.
Not because luxury is the goal, but because rest and renewal matter.
Our venue is a former 18th-century ducal palace in Tuscany that has been transformed into a beautiful hotel and spa. It offers the perfect environment to step away from everyday responsibilities and focus on your own development.
“The venue was stunning. It felt like a gift to myself as well as an investment in my coaching.”
The Experience I Wanted to CreateAt its heart, La Dolce Vita for Coaches is about balance between learning and reflection, growth and enjoymen, ,professional development and personal renewal.
It’s an opportunity to reconnect with your coaching, spend time with other thoughtful coaches and enjoy the beauty of Tuscany at the same time.
Because I believe professional development should do more than fill your notebook.
It should leave you feeling refreshed, inspired and excited about your coaching again.
That’s the experience I wanted to create.
One participant summed it up perfectly:
“I came expecting coach development. I left with that, but also with renewed energy, wonderful friendships and a deeper connection to myself as a coach.”
And that’s why La Dolce Vita for Coaches exists.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S.If the idea of combining meaningful coach development with the beauty, culture and pace of Tuscany appeals to you, I’d love to tell you more about our next event. Click here to arrange a call.
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One of the things I notice frequently when mentoring coaches is how easy it is for coaching to become something we try to perform rather than something we genuinely experience alongside the client.
It rarely starts that way.
More often, it develops gradually through training, assessment pressure, comparison with other coaches, or the understandable desire to do a good job for clients.
Most coaches begin with good intentions. They want to help. They care deeply about their clients. They want to coach well. Yet somewhere between learning the core competencies, preparing for assessment, hearing polished coaching demonstrations and wanting sessions to “go well,” many coaches begin carrying an invisible pressure to sound like a coach.
You can often sense it in the atmosphere of a session. The coach is listening but part of their attention is somewhere else, busy searching for the perfect question, mentally checking core competencies or wondering whether they are showing enough presence.
Sometimes they are trying so hard not to lead the client that they become hesitant and overcareful.
At other times, they fill the conversation with reflective statements because silence suddenly feels uncomfortable.
When Coaching Sounds Good But Feels FlatFrom the outside performative coaching often sounds very polished. The language can be thoughtful, the reflections articulate and the structure technically strong but underneath it, there is a feeling that the conversation is guarded. The coach is no longer fully present with the client because part of them is busy managing themselves.
Clients may not always be able to explain this directly, but they often feel it. Sessions can start to feel managed or overly careful, as though the coach is trying to guide the conversation towards what coaching is “supposed” to sound like rather than responding naturally to what is actually emerging in the moment.
A Coaching ExampleI remember mentoring a coach who was preparing for her ICF PCC Credential. Technically, she was strong, her questions were thoughtful, she understood the core competencies well and she worked incredibly hard to “do it right.”
But when we listened back to one of her recordings together, something became obvious quite quickly.
The client would say something emotionally significant and instead of staying with it naturally, the coach would immediately move into what sounded like a beautifully crafted coaching question. You could almost hear the effort behind it. The question itself was not wrong, but it interrupted the moment that was unfolding.
At one point the client said, “I think I’m more tired than I let myself admit.”
There was a long pause.
And then the coach asked “What would become possible if you gave yourself permission to honour your needs more fully?”
A perfectly acceptable coaching question on paper but which interrupted the client’s thinking because the coach didn’t follow the client.
Asking something simpler like “What’s happening for you as you say that?” honours what is appearing in the moment.
The difference may appear subtle, but the impact on the conversation is enormous.
The first response comes more from the coach’s thinking about coaching.
The second one comes from being fully present with the client.
Why Pressure Pulls Us Out of PresenceI think this is why so many coaches struggle under pressure, particularly around credentialing, observed sessions or coaching senior leaders they desperately want to impress.
Pressure creates self-consciousness and self-consciousness narrows attention.
Instead of listening openly, the coach begins evaluating themselves in real time.
Am I partnering enough?
Was that deep enough?
Did I challenge appropriately?
Which core competency am I showing right now?
Ironically, the harder a coach tries to perform coaching well, the harder it often becomes to stay genuinely connected.
What makes this even more challenging is that many coaches are trained extensively in coaching models, frameworks and coaching competencies, but much less in understanding the nature of presence itself.
Presence Cannot Be PerformedPresence is not created through perfect technique. It does not come from remembering to pause more often or asking questions that sound impressive. It’s not about performing calmness or producing elegant questions.
It comes from becoming less preoccupied with ourselves and more genuinely interested in understanding the client’s experience without rushing to shape it into “good coaching.”
When coaches begin to trust themselves more deeply, something shifts in the quality of the conversation. They stop trying so hard to create “good coaching” and become more interested in genuinely understanding what is happening for the client.
When that happens conversations usually become simpler, deeper and more transformational.
Listening deepens because the coach is no longer consumed with monitoring themselves.
Questions become cleaner because they arise from real curiosity rather than strategy.
Silence feels comfortable because the coach no longer experiences every quiet moment as something that must be managed successfully.
Returning to Real PartnershipI have seen coaches transform not because they learned another tool or framework, but because they became less preoccupied with getting coaching “right.”
When we let go of “performing”, presence naturally deepens and the coaching feels more connected rather than rehearsed.
And perhaps the irony in all of this is that the ICF Core Competencies often emerge more naturally the moment the coach stops trying so hard to demonstrate them.
Until next time,
Cath
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When the Journey Becomes More Than TravelI arrived home from Australia a few days ago after eight weeks with my family and grandchildren. What I hadn’t factored into the journey home was a bruised tailbone.
It sounds minor when you say it quickly “a bruised tailbone”, but on the first 9 hr flight it soon became very clear that sitting for extended periods was going to be a problem.
There are only so many positions you can attempt in an aeroplane seat before you realise none of them are going to work very well.
By the time I finally arrived home, I was exhausted. I’d slept very little, my body clock had no idea what time zone it belonged to anymore and, several days later, I still don’t feel fully adjusted. I suspect many people who travel long haul regularly will recognise that strange disconnected feeling where your body is technically home but the rest of you hasn’t quite caught up yet.
Fighting With RealityWhat I’ve noticed over the last few days is how quickly my mind wants to resist what is actually happening, how it wants to argue with reality.
“You shouldn’t feel this tired”.
“You should be back to normal by now”
“You’ve got lots to do”.
“Come on, pull yourself together”.
Part of me expects to be functioning normally again already. To be productive, clear-headed and fully focused.
Yet the reality is that tiredness affects concentration, discomfort and pain affect patience and jet lag affects almost everything. My pretending otherwise doesn’t make any of it disappear.
I think many capable people do this to themselves far more than they realise. We get irritated by the fact that we can’t simply push through, particularly when we are used to coping well, leading well or performing consistently.
Coaches Do This TooI notice this often in mentoring conversations too. Coaches who are exhausted from trying to hold themselves to an invisible standard of how they think they “should” be showing up.
Many coaches are incredibly good at offering understanding and compassion to clients whilst withholding it from themselves. There can sometimes be an unspoken expectation that because we coach others, we should somehow be immune from tiredness, self-doubt, emotional depletion or periods where life simply catches up with us physically. As though professionalism means operating at full capacity regardless of circumstances.
But perhaps part of developing maturity as a coach is becoming less resistant to our own limitations, not more.
The last few days have reminded me that there’s a difference between resilience and resistance.
I think resilience allows recovery whereas resistance argues with reality.
Slowing Down Without Making It Mean SomethingAt the moment, what’s actually happening for me is fairly simple.
I’m tired, my tailbone still hurts, my body clock is somewhere over the Indian Ocean
and apparently recovery takes longer at my age than it did when I was younger.
So instead of pushing through unnecessarily, I’ve found myself slowing down a little more than usual, working in shorter bursts and accepting that my energy and concentration will return in their own time.
There’s nothing especially profound about that, although I suspect many people find it harder than they admit.
Perhaps there’s something useful in remembering to be kinder to ourselves when we are temporarily not at our best and that we don’t have to be operating at 100% all the time in order to still be thoughtful, effective and fully ourselves.
And recognising that fighting reality often drains far more energy than the reality itself.
When we stop resisting what we’re experiencing, there’s often a little more space to simply be present with it and that feels particularly relevant to me right now because, if I’m honest, part of me is still wanting my body and mind to catch up faster than they actually can.
As I’ve been reflecting on all of this over the last few days, one question keeps coming back to me that you might find useful….
What might change if, instead of pushing yourself to “get back to normal” as quickly as possible, you allowed yourself a little more time to recover and readjust?
Until next time,
Cath
The post The Argument with Reality appeared first on Cath Daley.
Later this week, I’ll be flying home to the UK after eight weeks in Australia with my young grandchildren.
And if I’m honest, I’m already feeling the weight of leaving.
Anyone who has grandchildren living on the other side of the world will understand what I mean.
Children change so quickly and although eight weeks feels long when you arrive, it’s somehow impossibly short when it’s time to go home.
The little routines that become familiar will carry on without you.
The phrases they suddenly start using.
The games they want “again!”
The way they run towards you with a beaming smile when you walk into the room.
The small changes you notice almost daily when you’re with them.
And then comes the awareness that by the next time I see them, they’ll be different again.
A year in the life of a young child is enormous.
There’s a strange mixture of gratitude and sadness in that.
Gratitude for having shared this precious time together and sadness at knowing how much will change before we’re together again.
Holding On Whilst Letting GoI’ve been thinking about how often life asks us to hold both joy and loss at the same time.
One doesn’t cancel out the other.
And perhaps that’s relevant to coaching too.
So many of the people I coach or mentor are navigating transitions of one kind or another. Sometimes those changes are obvious and sometimes they are harder to explain, even to themselves.
A leadership role that no longer feels right.
Children growing up and becoming more independent.
A business evolving or an identity shifting,
A growing awareness that a chapter of life is changing, even if they can’t quite name what comes next.
What I notice in coaching conversations is how often people want certainty in those moments. They want to know they’re making the right decision. They want reassurance that change won’t bring loss with it.
But meaningful change nearly always asks us to let go of something
Sometimes we have to let go of an old identity or an expectation we’ve carried for years. Sometimes we simply have to accept that life keeps moving, whether we are ready for it or not.
My Grandchildren Have Reminded Me….Spending time with my grandchildren has reminded me how fleeting so many important moments are, especially in childhood.
And perhaps part of living well is learning to be fully present for those moments whilst we’re in them, rather than trying to freeze them in place.
I think that’s true in coaching conversations too.
The most meaningful moments are rarely forced. They appear briefly as a flash of insight, or a moment of honesty. A client suddenly seeing something differently.
And then the conversation moves on.
We can’t hold onto those moments forever either.
But we can fully meet them while they’re here.
As I Prepare to LeaveSo as I prepare to head home later this week, I find myself holding both gratitude and sadness together.
And perhaps that’s simply part of loving people deeply across distance and time.
Until next time,
Cath
x
The post The Bit Nobody Talks About appeared first on Cath Daley.
In the previous blog, I shared some reflections on the upcoming changes from the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and what they might mean for coaches.
Since then, I’ve found myself reflecting on it more, focussing less on the detail and more on what is underpining the shift.
Because while the structural changes are clear enough, the implications for how we think about our coaching feel more subtle, and perhaps more significant.
When the Focus MovesOne of the most noticeable shifts is where the focus now sits.
Without a standalone Performance Evaluation, the emphasis moves away from preparing for a single moment where your coaching is assessed, and towards something more continuous.
Your coaching is no longer being viewed through one recording, but through your development over time.
That may sound like a small adjustment, but it changes the feel of the whole process.
It subtly repositions what matters most.
From Producing to UnderstandingIn the old model, it was easy, understandably, for coaches to orient themselves towards producing a recording that demonstrated their capability at the required level.
There was nothing wrong with that. It made sense within the system.
But it could also lead to a subtle narrowing of focus, where the question becomes, “Can I do this well enough when it counts?”
What seems to be emerging now is a different question altogether.
“How well do I actually understand my coaching?”
That’s a more subtle question that goes much deeper.
It asks you to notice patterns, to recognise what you are doing in the moment and to understand why certain questions land the way they do.
The Space Mentor Coaching Now HoldsThis is where mentor coaching begins to take on a different role.
If it becomes the place where your coaching is explored, developed, and evaluated, then the quality of that space matters enormously.
It needs to be somewhere you can look at your coaching honestly, without feeling that you are performing or being judged in a narrow way.
It also needs to be somewhere that brings a clear and accurate understanding of the competencies, so that you can see how your coaching aligns with them in practice.
That combination is not accidental. It requires thought, structure, and experience.
Consistency Over a Single SnapshotAnother implication that keeps surfacing is the idea of consistency.
Without a final performance evaluation to work towards, readiness becomes less about producing one strong example of your coaching, and more about how you show up across your work as a whole.
How you listen.
How you stay with the client.
How you avoid stepping in too quickly with your own thinking.
These are not things that can be switched on for one session. They reflect something more established in your practice.
What This Might Ask of YouThere is something in these changes that feels both more spacious and more demanding.
More spacious, because the pressure to get it right in one moment begins to ease.
More demanding, because the invitation is to really to understand your coaching at a deeper level, rather than relying on preparation or performance.
And that requires a different quality of attention, where you give yourself the space to slow down, notice more and develop a clearer awareness of what is unfolding in your conversations.
A Question to Carry ForwardAs this continues to unfold, perhaps the most useful place to focus is not on trying to get ahead of the changes but on how you are relating to your own development.
Are you looking for the most efficient way through the process?
Or are you allowing yourself the time and space to really understand your coaching?
The process will continue to evolve and that part is outside your control.
But the depth of your understanding is something you can stay with, and it is likely to matter far beyond any single credential.
Until next time,CathN.B. ICF have changed the name of te new mentoring qualification. It is now the Mentor Coach Specialisation qualification (MCS).I’ll be completing the MCS in line with these changes and I’ll be evolving my current Coach Development and Mentoring Programme to reflect what’s coming.I’ll share more details, including timings and how this will work in practice, very soon.The post The ICF Changes: From Snapshot to Movie appeared first on Cath Daley.
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) has announced a major change to its credentialing process.
From April 2027, the Performance Evaluation requirement for ACC and PCC Portfolio paths will be removed.
In its place, coaches will complete an enhanced mentor coaching requirement, delivered by mentor coaches who hold the new Mentor Coach Qualification (MCQ).
On the surface, this might look like a simplification.
There are no recorded sessions to submit and no pass or fail assessment hanging over you and for many coaches, that removes a huge source of stress and it will feel like a relief.
A Shift in Where Assessment HappensBut there’s something deeper going on here.
The responsibility for assessing coaching competence is shifting. It’s moving away from a single moment of evaluation and into the mentoring process itself which changes the nature of what mentor coaching becomes.
It’s no longer just developmental support running alongside assessment.
It becomes the place where your coaching is observed, understood, and evaluated over time.
Why This Could Be a Positive MoveDone well, this could be a very positive change.
It creates space for a more nuanced, evidence-based understanding of how someone coaches. It allows for growth to be seen in context, rather than judged in a one-off recording. It also places far greater emphasis on the quality and rigour of mentor coaching itself.
There is also something reassuring in the idea that your coaching is not being reduced to a single “best performance.” Instead, it is seen as something that develops and becomes more consistent over time.
The Quality of Mentoring Will Matter MoreAnd that’s where the real impact lies.
Not all mentor coaching is the same. Some approaches are still quite transactional, focused on “ticking off” the required hours. Under this new model, that simply won’t be enough.
Coaches will need mentoring that genuinely develops their understanding of what high-quality coaching looks like. They will need clear, grounded feedback. They will need to see what assessors listen for, and how their coaching aligns with that.
In other words, depth will matter more than ever.
What This Means in PracticeThere is also an implication for pricing and positioning.
Enhanced mentor coaching, especially when it includes structured evaluation, is more involved.
It requires a higher level of skill, training and responsibility from the mentor coach. It’s likely we’ll see programmes evolve to reflect that.
It may also mean coaches need to be more discerning when choosing a mentor. Not just looking at hours or cost, but at how the mentoring is structured, how feedback is given, and how well it helps them really see their own coaching.
For coaches considering their credential, this shift invites a different kind of question.
Not “How do I pass?”
But “Who will help me really understand my coaching?”
Because in this new landscape, that understanding is what will carry you through the process and beyond it.
And in many ways, that feels like a move in the right direction.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. I’ll be completing the new Mentor Coach Qualification (MCQ) in line with these changes, and I’ll be evolving my current Coach Development and Mentoring Programme to reflect what’s coming. I’ll share more details, including timings and how this will work in practice, very soon.
The post The New ICF Credentialing Changes: What They Really Mean for Coaches appeared first on Cath Daley.
A Different View Changes Everything I’m writing this from Melbourne, Australia.
A long way from home in every sense!
The pace feels different and the rhythm of the days has changed as I’ve been spending time looking after my young grandchildren.
I’d forgotten how their sense of curiosity and joy in the moment is very real. They move at a different (faster!) pace and what matters to them is immediate, simple and uncomplicated.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I’ve noticed something I wasn’t expecting.
Things that felt quite important before don’t seem as significant anymore.
Decisions that seemed pressing feel less urgent.
Some thoughts have faded into the background, while others have become clearer.
Nothing has actually changed but the shift in environment, and in perspective, seems to change how I’m seeing things.
When We’re Too Close to See ClearlyIt’s been really interesting and it’s taken me straight back to coaching.
In coaching, we’re often helping clients find that same sense of perspective.
Not by physically stepping away, but by creating just enough space for them to see things differently.
When we’re very close to something, especially something that matters, it’s easy to get caught up inside it.
We stay close to the detail, we go over and over the same lines of thinking and it feels heavy.
From that place, everything can feel tangled and complicated.
What a Little Distance Makes PossibleWhen there’s a bit of distance, something shifts.
The situation is still there, it is still important but there’s a little more room around it.
We become more aware of patterns and what’s really going on becomes easier to identify.
In coaching, that’s often the moment where things begin to move and shift.
It doesn’t usually come from a brilliant question or a clever reframe. It tends to come when the client has enough space to hear themselves think in a different way.
You can almost feel it in the conversation.
There’s a pause that isn’t rushed, something opens up and the client starts to see it for themselves.
The Subtle Work of the CoachCreating that kind of space is often more subtle than it looks.
We have to hold back more than step in, to stay with what’s there rather than shaping it too quickly.
It needs us to trust that the client will find their way if we don’t close things down too soon.
Being here has reminded me how powerful that space can be.
Clarity doesn’t always come from pushing harder or thinking more. Often it seems to come when there’s just enough distance for things to settle and reorganise.
When the Way We See Ourselves ShiftsThere’s something else I’ve been aware of as well.
Spending time with young children has a way of quietly shifting your perspective.
They’re not interested in roles or expectations. They respond to what’s right in front of them. They ask simple, direct questions. They don’t carry the same layers of assumption about how things “should” be.
And it has made me notice my own.
When you’re this far from home, alongside that kind of presence, some of the usual reference points fade into the background a little.
And that feels very similar to what happens in deeper coaching.
As clients begin to step back from their situation, the way they see themselves often begins to shift.
The identity they’ve been holding can feel a little less fixed. The leader who has to get it right all the time. The one who carries everything. The person who believes they should have worked this out by now.
With a bit more space, those ways of seeing themselves loosen. They don’t disappear, but they’re no longer quite as solid or unquestioned.
And in that space, something new emerges. It may be a different perspective, or a different way of responding or even a different sense of who they are in the situation.
Which brings me to a couple of questions for you.
A Couple of Questions for You…..Where might you be so close to something right now that it’s hard to see it clearly?
And what might shift if you allowed yourself just a little more distance?
Until next time,
Cath
x
The post How Being 10,000 Miles Away Has Created Clarity For Me appeared first on Cath Daley.
What’s really changing as you grow as a coachDeveloping as a coach isn’t simply about improving technique. It’s about what’s happening in your brain.
We can learn models, master competencies, practise questions and refine language, but the real shifts in coaching maturity happen much deeper than technique.
They happen in how our brain learns to pay attention, tolerate uncertainty and stay present when things feel messy or unfamiliar.
For years, coaching drew on psychology, adult learning and reflective practice to explain development.
Useful, yes…. but it’s incomplete.
Neuroscience gives us another layer of understanding; one that explains why growth as a coach can feel uncomfortable, slow and occasionally disorientating.
In his 2006 paper A Brain-Based Approach to Coaching, David Rock, in conversation with neuroscientist Jeffrey Schwartz, described coaching as a process that quite literally reshapes neural pathways.
And that’s just as true for us as coaches as it is for the people we work with.
Why Developing as a Coach Can Feel HardEvery time you stretch your coaching, sitting longer in silence, not rescuing a client, trusting the process rather than your favourite tool, your brain reads this as risk.
The brain is wired for efficiency and familiarity. New ways of being ask it to let go of well-rehearsed patterns and the emotional parts of the brain recognise it as uncertainty. The thinking brain has to work harder and that’s why development can feel hard work even when you want it.
This is also why information alone doesn’t create better coaching. You can “know” the ICF Core Competencies inside out and still default under pressure.
Development needs something else: focused attention, reflection and repetition which are the conditions that allow the brain to rewire.
How Coaches Rewire Their Own PracticeNeuroscience helps make sense of what deep development as a coach really takes.
There are four key elements to be aware of….
Attention
Where you focus your attention shapes your coaching. Noticing when you interrupt, rush or subtly direct a client begins to stabilise new neural pathways and this increase in awareness is active training.
Reflection
This isn’t performance review or self-criticism. When there’s space for real reflection the brain integrates experience more deeply.
This is where coaching presence deepens and confidence grows.
Insight
Those moments when something clicks — oh, that’s what I’m doing in the session — are neurological events.
They update how your brain understands coaching, not just how you think about it.
Practice
Trying something new again and again, especially with support, builds reliability under pressure.
Over time, what once felt an effort becomes natural
The Bottom Line for CoachesKnowing how the brain works doesn’t make coaching mechanical; it gives us a more balanced and realistic understanding of growth.
It explains why growth can’t be rushed, why supervision and mentoring matter and why real confidence comes from internal rewiring rather than simply sounding more confident.
For me, neuroscience doesn’t change how I coach.
It reassures me that slowing down, paying attention, and trusting the process is exactly how development happens, for our clients and for us.
And let me leave you with a question…
If development is neurological, not just technical, what does that change for you?
Until next time,
Cath
x
P.S. Inside my ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme, we look at what’s happening beneath the surface of your coaching — how your attention works, where you tighten under pressure and how presence becomes more reliable over time. It’s developmental, reflective and grounded in how change really happens.
If you’re ready to find out how that can help you grow your coaching then let’s have a conversation.
Click here to book a call.
The post Why Neuroscience Matters for Coach Development appeared first on Cath Daley.
Although this year I’m in Australia at Easter, it’s Spring again in the UK and with the long weekend ahead I hope you get some sunshine, even if it’s not quite warm enough yet to sit out in the garden for long.
Every Easter when I’m in the UK, I make a Simnel cake.
I use the same recipe and measure everything out even though I’ve made this every year for many years.
I could just bung everything into a tin and hope for the best but I don’t.
I still measure everything out and I still follow the steps.
Not because I don’t trust myself, but because I respect the process.
I know it works and It’s a great success every time.
I want to make sure that I have the right high quality ingredients, in the right quantities and cook it for the right amount of time so that the end product can be enjoyed by everyone in the way it is meant to be.
Because you know there’s nothing worse than looking forward to something only to be let down because it isn’t done properly or is overdone or it’s a flop!
Coaching is the same.
Respecting the ProcessWhen you’re experienced, it’s tempting to think you can “just have a conversation” and sometimes that works. But if you want coaching that is consistently powerful, ethical and genuinely transformative, it helps to understand the structure that holds it in place.
A great session doesn’t happen by accident.It rests on foundations.
The RecipeYou need a tried and tested structure. Not a script or a rigid framework but a clear understanding of what effective coaching requires. What creates safety; what supports thinking;what keeps the centre of meaning-making with the client.
When coaches really understand the ICF Core Competencies in depth, they aren’t constraining. They are liberating. They give shape without suffocating the conversation.
The IngredientsHigh-quality ingredients in coaching are things like presence, clean listening and thoughtful questions. They are curiosity without agenda. They are the ability to notice when you are attention is wandering and to refocus.
Like good flour and fresh eggs, they matter more than we sometimes realise.
And quantities matter too.
Too much input from the coach and the client’s thinking collapses. Too little focus and the conversation drifts. The balance is subtle. It’s something you refine over time by reflecting, reviewing recordings and being willing to look honestly at your own habits.
Timing There’s also timing.
Knowing when to ask the next question and when to pause. When to let silence do the work and equally, knowing when a session has reached its natural close so that the client leaves with clarity rather than overload.
The End ResultWhen I put the cake in the oven, I know what I’m aiming for.
In coaching, the outcome isn’t about you performing well.
It’s about what the client experiences as a result of the conversation.
Whether that is greater awareness, a fresh perspective or a shift that feels like it belongs to them.
When coaches come onto my mentoring programme to prepare for their credential, many are surprised by how precise this all is in practice.
Consistency Isn’t AccidentalIt’s not about ticking boxes. It’s about understanding the process deeply enough that your coaching works consistently, not occasionally.
There’s nothing worse than looking forward to something and being disappointed because it hasn’t quite been done properly.
Coaching deserves the same care as any treasured family recipe.
When you respect the process, choose your ingredients wisely and understand how it all fits together, the result is something others can truly enjoy.
Until next time,
Cath
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The post You Wouldn’t Bung It All In – So Why Do That in Coaching? appeared first on Cath Daley.
In coaching conversations, we often hear the phrase active listening.
It’s described as a core coaching skill, sometimes even as a defining feature of good practice.
And yet, in the ICF Core Competencies the wording is different.
Core Competency 6 doesn’t say “demonstrates active listening”; it says the coach listens actively.
That shift from noun to verb might look minor but it isn’t.
Active Listening Isn’t the Same as “Listens Actively”
When Listening Becomes a Technique“Active listening” tends to be taught as a concept, a method or a set of observable behaviours.
Reflect back what you heard, then summarise mirroring the client’s language.
All of that is helpful for new coaches because it stops you from drifting into advice-giving or interrogation mode.
But it can quietly become performative as the coach is listening and simultaneously evaluating.
Have I paraphrased enough? Should I summarise now? Am I demonstrating empathy clearly enough?
The coach’s attention is divided, with part of it on the client and part of it monitoring their own performance.
And clients notice this even if they can’t articulate it.
Listening as an Active StateNow contrast that with “listens actively.”
This isn’t a technique. It’s a quality of attention.
When a coach listens actively, their awareness is fully engaged.
- They are tracking meaning, not just words and they notice shifts in tone, pace, hesitation.
- They sense when something lands and when something doesn’t.
- Their responses arise from what the client has just said rather than from a pre-planned framework.
- There is no rush to identify the insights, or to demonstrate your understanding and no need to prove your competence.
- There’s just a steady, responsive presence.
Ironically, when a coach truly listens actively, many of the classic “active listening” behaviours naturally appear.
Language is reflected accurately, summaries emerge when useful and clarifying questions are precise.
They grow out of the conversation itself, not from a conscious attempt to demonstrate the coaching skill.
Why This Matters for CoachesThis distinction is particularly important for coaches working towards credentialing.
When I am assessing I’m not counting paraphrases.
I’m listening for evidence that the coach has:
- genuinely followed the client’s meaning
- that the questions connect directly to what the client has expressed
- that the coach does not make assumptions
- that the client’s thinking remains central to the conversation
You can demonstrate textbook active listening and still steer the conversation.
You can paraphrase beautifully and subtly shift ownership back to yourself as coach.
But you cannot truly listen actively while controlling the direction because the interpretation and understanding stays with the client.
From Skill to EmbodimentActive listening is something you can learn.
Listening actively is something that develops as your attention becomes more grounded and less caught up in managing yourself.
It’s less about what you do and more about how centred your attention is in that moment.
When you’re not busy managing how you sound, you have more capacity to notice what’s actually unfolding.
And that’s where coaching deepens – not because you applied the right technique, but because you were truly present.
As you reflect on your own practice, here’s a useful question for you:
When you’re listening in a session, is your attention shared between the client and yourself or wholly focused on the client?
Until next time,
Cath
X
P.S. Listening actively isn’t about adding another technique. It’s about refining your awareness. If you’d value a thinking partner who will help you examine your coaching at this level, let’s talk about whether mentoring would support you.
Click here to book a chat.
The post What If Active Listening Isn’t What You Think It Is? appeared first on Cath Daley.
The Subtle Shift Most Coaches MissOne of the most important shifts in developing coaching mastery has nothing to do with better questions.
It has everything to do with where meaning is created.
In early coach training we focus on structure, listening skills, contracting and impact. We work hard to stay client-focused and learn not to advise.
We practise to not interrupt and to give the client space.
And something more nuanced sits underneath all of that.
Even experienced coaches can unintentionally begin shaping the insights.
Not overtly but often with good intent.
It can appear as a shift in how we frame our words; or providing a summary that goes ahead of the client’s thinking; or an interpretation offered a fraction too soon.
It sounds supportive and can even sound insightful but when that happens the centre of focus shifts.
When Meaning Moves Towards the CoachMeaning is no longer forming entirely in the client’s mind and it begins, subtly, to coalesce in ours.
There is also something else that creeps in.
We start to assume we know what the client means so we fill in gaps.
We translate their words into our language and we move over ambiguity before they have finished exploring it.
Again, the intent is positive because we want to help. We want clarity and we want our client to progress.
Yet the moment we begin to create the insight for them, or subtly construct the learning, the developmental impact is significantly reduced.
You can feel the difference in the room.
When the coach is shaping the meaning, the session is more directed. There is movement but it is guided by the coach steering where it is going.
When the client is constructing meaning for themselves, there is space, more silence and more searching but what emerges belongs to them, which is much more powerful.
Why This Becomes Visible at PCCThis is precisely where many coaches find the ICF PCC level challenging.
Not because they lack skill or they don’t understand the competencies but because they are, often very subtly, making meaning on behalf of the client.
They articulate the insight just ahead of the client.
They consolidate learning in their own words.
They infer what the client must be thinking or feeling and move the conversation from that assumption.
From the outside, it can sound polished and even impressive.
From an assessment perspective, however, the question becomes clear:
Whose thinking are we hearing?
At PCC, as an Assessor I am listening carefully for evidence that insight and learning are unmistakably generated by the client, not crafted by the coach.
Outside of assessment, it matters even more.
Because coaching that leaves meaning firmly with the client builds autonomy.
It builds confidence and strengthens their capacity to think independently long after the session ends.
Reflective Practice at a Deeper LevelNone of us are neutral observers. We bring our preferences, our pace, our speed of thought.
Under pressure to do a good job, or when we care deeply about offering value, those strengths can quietly move to the foreground. We may find ourselves interpreting more quickly, summarising more confidently, connecting dots before the client has quite finished laying them out.
So reflective practice at this level becomes more intentional.
.Instead of asking “Am I asking good questions?” ask
- Where was insight actually forming in that conversation?
- What assumptions did I making about what my client means?
- At what point did I begin to consolidate meaning?
- Where might I have stepped in just a fraction too soon?
A Developmental Question to Carry ForwardIn your next session, when you sense insight beginning to form, allow yourself a brief internal pause and consider:
What would happen if I let this unfold completely in the client’s language?
Notice what changes when you hold that position.
I’d genuinely be interested to hear what you discover as you experiment with this in your own practice.
Until next time
Cath
x
P.S. If You Want to Examine This Properly
This level of nuance rarely shifts through self-study alone.
It benefits from careful observation, transcript review and someone willing to point gently to where meaning moves towards you which is exactly the work we do in my ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme.
If you’re considering going fro your ICF Credential or simply want to explore this in your coaching you’re welcome to get in touch for a conversation.
Click here to book a call with me.
The post Who Is Doing the Meaning-Making in Your Coaching Sessions? appeared first on Cath Daley.
When You’re Thinking About ApplyingWhen coaches begin thinking about applying for their ICF ACC or PCC Credential, it often feels like a natural next step.
They’ve completed their training, they’re coaching regularly and their clients are getting great results. Coaching conversations feel meaningful and productive and there is a sense that things are working well.
From that perspective, it’s easy to assume that applying for a credential is largely a case of gathering the required hours and submitting a recording that reflects your usual practice.
In reality, preparing for a credential involves more than most coaches expect.
What Assessment Actually InvolvesCredential assessment is grounded in the ICF Core Competencies. Many coaches are familiar with them at a surface level. They recognise the language and they understand the broad intent but what is often missing is depth.
As an ICF Assessor I’m listening carefully for clear evidence throughout the entire conversation, paying attention to how the agreement is shaped, how the client’s thinking drives the session, how awareness and learning are expressed and how consistently the coach’s presence supports the process.
Many coaches are already doing elements of this well. The difficulty is that they don’t always know what it sounds like when it is consistently demonstrated in a recording.
Reading the competencies is one thing.
Hearing how they are demonstrated consistently in practice is another.
- What does it truly mean for an agreement to be co-created rather than led by the coach?
- How clearly must client-generated awareness be evidenced?
- What does steady presence sound like across an entire conversation, not just in isolated moments?
Credential-readiness requires that depth of understanding and without that clarity, it is hard to accurately judge your own readiness.
Why the Gap Isn’t ObviousMost coaches do not routinely record their sessions and even fewer listen back through the assessment lens. Without doing that, it is difficult to know how your coaching actually sounds.
As a result, they understandably assume their coaching will translate cleanly into credential evidence.
When we begin reviewing recordings together in mentoring, coaches often notice patterns they hadn’t been aware of before.
There may be moments where the conversation moves forward slightly too quickly, where a summary shapes the learning more than intended, or where an assumption about what the client means goes unexplored or a point where silence could have been held a little longer.
These are rarely dramatic issues. They are simply areas where greater precision strengthens the evidence.
Credential-readiness is about understanding the standard clearly enough to align your coaching with it in a consistent way. It is about aligning your coaching with the competencies in a way that is audible and unmistakable.
That clarity rarely develops by chance.
How Mentoring Bridges The GapThis is why mentoring makes such a difference.
We take time to unpack the Core Competencies in depth and translate them into lived practice. We explore what assessors are genuinely listening for and how that shows up in a real conversation. You learn how to prepare recordings appropriately and how to review your own coaching with much greater precision.
As your understanding deepens, your sessions become cleaner and more consistent. You are no longer guessing whether your coaching meets the standard because you understand what the standard requires and you know how to demonstrate it.
That shift builds confidence because it is grounded in clarity rather than hope.
Some Questions to ConsiderIf you are planning to apply for your ICF ACC or PCC Credential it may be helpful to ask yourself:
- How well do I understand the Core Competencies beyond their descriptions?
- Could I explain what strong evidence looks like in practice?
- Have I ever listened back to one of my sessions with assessment in mind?
- Do I feel clear about what practical preparation is involved before submitting a recording?
If those questions feel slightly uncomfortable, that is entirely normal. Most coaches are not taught how to prepare for assessment in this level of detail.
That is exactly what my ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme is designed to support. It helps you understand the Core Competencies in depth, translate them into practice and approach your credential application with confidence and clarity.
And that makes the whole process far more grounded and far less uncertain because preparing well changes everything.
Until next time,
Cath
x
P.S. If this feels like the right next step for you I’m very happy to have a conversation about how the programme would support you. Click here to book a call
The post Why “Good” Coaching Isn’t Always ICF Credential-Ready appeared first on Cath Daley.
Why Some Judgement Sharpens Your Practice and Some Quietly Undermines ItWe often describe coaching as non-judgemental.
It is one of the foundations of trust and psychological safety.
Yet the word judgement can be misleading, because not all judgement is the same.
In fact, some forms of judgement are not only appropriate, they are essential.
I distinguish between what I call Functional Judgements and Opinionated Judgements.
Understanding the difference will transform the depth of your coaching.
Functional Judgement: The Discipline Behind PresenceFunctional judgement is the professional discernment that underpins skilled practice.
It is the internal calibration that helps you decide which word to reflect back, which thread to follow, when to stay with silence and when to ask a question.
It is what allows you to notice a shift in energy, hear a pattern in language, or sense that something significant has just been said quietly.
Without this kind of discernment, coaching would feel random and unfocused.
Functional judgement draws on your training, your understanding of the ICF competencies, and your lived experience in the room.
It is thoughtful and intentional. It serves the client’s thinking rather than your opinion about their life.
You are making choices throughout the conversation, but those choices are about how to facilitate awareness, not about whether the client is right or wrong.
Functional judgement sharpens the conversation.
Opinionated Judgement: The Subtle Shift That Changes the SpaceOpinionated judgement is different in both quality and impact.
This is when we begin evaluating the client or their situation.
A fleeting thought that their decision is misguided.
An internal narrative about who is to blame.
A quiet certainty that we can see the “real” issue more clearly than they can.
It may never be spoken aloud. Yet the moment it arises, something shifts.
Even if we say nothing overtly critical, our stance changes.
We are no longer fully alongside the client; we are positioned in relation to them.
Slightly above, slightly apart.
Clients often sense this before we consciously recognise it.
They may justify themselves, defend their perspective, or retreat into safer territory.
The thinking narrows and the work becomes shallower.
Opinionated judgement constricts the conversation.
Noticing the Difference in Your Own PracticeThis distinction is not about becoming neutral in a detached way.
Nor is it about suppressing natural thoughts. We are human and interpretations will come up.
It’s about noticing when we have slipped from professional discernment into personal evaluation.
When I mentor coaches, I often invite them to review a recording and reflect on these two questions:
1) Where was I exercising skilled discernment in service of the client’s awareness?
2) Where was I reacting to the content of their story?
That reflection alone can deepen your presence.
When we recognise opinionated judgement arising, we can gently return to curiosity.
We can remind ourselves that our role is not to decide what is right, but to create a space in which the client can see more clearly for themselves.
The distinction between functional and opinionated judgement may seem small on the surface.
In the coaching room, it changes everything.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. if you want to find out more about how we deepen your practice and develop your coaching skills on the ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme click here to book a call.
The post The Judgement Trap in Coaching appeared first on Cath Daley.
There’s a moment many experienced coaches recognise, even if they don’t always talk about it.
It’s when a session feels a little different and the sense of Flow you usually trust isn’t quite there.
Your feel less grounded and your presence isn’t quite what you want it to be….
And then in the background a familiar question starts to form. What’s going on here?
For capable, well-trained coaches, that moment can be surprisingly unsettling. When you’ve invested years in developing your coaching skills, it’s easy to assume that a wobble in presence means something has gone wrong. That you’ve missed something or slipped somehow or lost a quality you once had.
In my experience, that interpretation is rarely helpful and it’s usually inaccurate.
Why It’s Rarely a Skill GapWhen presence slips, it’s far more likely that something personal is happening.
Experienced coaches are holding a lot. Complex client situations, emotional intensity, organisational pressure, ethical responsibility and often a genuine sense of care for the people they work with. Add to that whatever else is going on in your own life and it makes sense that attention sometimes drifts. Presence is sensitive and it responds quickly to what’s happening inside us as well as in the room.
How Responsibility Quietly Creeps InOne pattern I often notice with the coaches I mentor is a quiet sense of responsibility creeping in. The coach starts carrying the session, subtly tracking where it should go or how it ought to land. The intention is kind and conscientious, yet attention shifts. Instead of resting with the client, it becomes occupied with managing the process. Flow tends to ease away when attention becomes focused on the process of coaching.
The Impact of Internal MonitoringAnother familiar experience is internal checkingabout whether you are doing it “right”. Experienced coaches understand what skilful coaching sounds like but when part of your attention is monitoring how you’re doing, there’s simply less available for the client, and presence falters without any obvious moment of change.
The Role of Tiredness We Often OverlookThere’s also the influence of tiredness. It’s rarely the kind of tiredness that makes you stop but the subtler kind that shows up as a slight impatience, a tendency to move things along, or a sense that listening takes more effort than usual. This doesn’t reflect on your capability. It’s an understandable response to work that can carry a lot of emotional weight.
Why Trying Harder Doesn’t HelpWhat often follows is an understandable attempt to correct things. Coaches try to be more intentional and more deliberate. They apply more effort in the hope that presence will return. And yet presence doesn’t deepen through trying harder. It deepens when you relax and allow your attention to widen again.
So how do you find your way back into Flow?###### During the coaching session:
- Start by slowing yourself before you try to slow the session.
Take a breath you actually notice as you let your shoulders drop and feel your feet on the floor. Become present in the moment.
- Let your focus become simpler again.
Bring yourself back to one thing only: staying with how the client’s thinking is unfolding right now.
Don’t think about where the session should go or what would be useful later. Just focus on this moment.
- Give silence more room than feels comfortable.
If you notice the urge to fill the space, treat that as information rather than a problem.
Let the client finish their thinking. Be comfortable with not knowing what comes next
- Shift from evaluation to curiosity.
If you hear your inner commentary starting up, gently return to interest in the client. What matters most to them right now?
- Pay attention to your body.
Flow is felt before you can name it. A steadier breathing, a sense of ease, a softening in your face are often early signs that presence is returning.
After the session
Reflecting Without Self-Judgement
After the session, reflect without judgement. Instead of asking “What did I do wrong?” ask yourself “What was happening in me when Flow slipped?” Look for patterns rather than answers.
Where Mentoring Makes the DifferenceThis is where Coach Mentoring offers something genuinely different. It creates space to notice those patterns with kindness and clarity, rather than trying to fix yourself in isolation. Presence drifts when conditions change. When those conditions become clearer, confidence returns and Flow often follows, without being chased.
It’s when you move away from self-judgement and back towards curiosity that you find yourself reconnecting with the ease and depth you’re familiar with and FLOW emerges.
Until next time,
Cath
x
P.S. If you’re noticing these patterns in your own coaching and would value a space to explore them without judgement, my ICF Accredited Coach Development & Mentoring Programme is designed exactly for this kind of work. It’s a place to slow down, notice what’s happening beneath the surface and settle back into the ease and depth that’s natural for you.
If you want to find out more, let’s have a chat…click here to book a call.
The post When Presence Slips: What Gets in the Way for Experienced Coaches (and Why It’s Not a Skill Gap) appeared first on Cath Daley.
There’s a particular quality to some coaching sessions that’s hard to describe but instantly recognisable when you’re in it.
Time seems to expand and your listening deepens without effort.
You’re not planning questions or checking yourself against a mental checklist because you’re simply in the moment.
This state is called Flow.
FLOWLong before I became a coach, I was already working deliberately with Flow when I was an Advanced Skills Teacher. I used a simple Brain Gym technique to help students settle their attention and move into a state of Flow before learning and exams. It reduced anxiety, increased focus and noticeably improved their ability to think and recall under pressure. Even then, I was interested in how creating the right internal conditions allowed people to perform at their best, without forcing it.
The concept was first articulated by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who described Flow as a state of optimal experience where attention is fully immersed in the present moment, self-consciousness drops away and doing and noticing happen together.
When in a flow state, people pay no attention to distractions and time seems to pass without notice.
Sound familiar? It should because it’s remarkably close to what we call coaching presence.
What Flow Actually Is (and Isn’t)Flow isn’t relaxation and it’s not peak performance in the “try harder” sense. It sits in a sweet spot between challenge and capability. If there is too much challenge the nervous system tips into anxiety, too little and we drift into boredom or become disengaged.
In Flow, attention is effortless. The brain quietens its background noise as the inner narrator that comments, judges and evaluates takes a back seat.
For us as coaches, this matters because presence isn’t created through effort but through attention that’s settled enough to stay with what’s unfolding.
Flow and the Coach’s BrainFrom a psychological and neurological perspective, Flow is characterised by reduced activity in areas associated with self-monitoring and internal noise alongside increased coherence in attention networks.
If we translate this into everyday coaching language it means you stop making the session about you as the coach. When a coach drops into flow, there’s less internal commentary like “Am I doing this right?”, “Should I ask a better question?” or “What competency am I demonstrating here?”.
Instead attention is fully focused on the client’s words, energy and their ability to make meaning.Presence becomes natural rather than manufactured.
Why Flow Supports Coaching PresencePresence is fragile under pressure. It’s easily disrupted by performance anxiety, getting stuck in your own head or a need to “do coaching properly.”
Flow takes the pressure out of it.
When you’re in Flow:
- Listening becomes embodied rather than technical
- Silence feels spacious rather than awkward
- You respond from awareness, not habit
Importantly, Flow can’t be forced. It emerges when certain conditions are in place and this is where coach development comes in.
How Coaches Create the Conditions for FlowFlow is more likely when you:
- Understand the fundamentals well enough to stop thinking about “doing” them
- Trust yourself and feel comfortable and confident in your coaching
- Feel safe enough to stop performing and just coach
- Are stretched just enough to grow, without feeling overloaded
This is why mentoring, supervision and reflective practice matter so much. They reduce background threat, build internal trust and free up attention for the moment you’re actually in.
It’s also why presence often deepens as coaches mature. Not because they try harder but because their nervous system learns that it’s safe to stay open and let go of being in control.
Why This Matters More Than EverIn a distracted, fast-paced world, Flow is increasingly rare.
And that’s exactly why clients feel the difference when a coach is truly present.
For me, understanding Flow helps to reframe presence. It’s something you either have or don’t have.
It shows up as your attention becomes grounded in the moment and self-focus eases into the background.
And when a coach finds that state, coaching stops feeling like something you do and starts feeling like a space you drop into.
That’s when the real magic happens.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. If this way of thinking about Flow and presence speaks to you, it sits at the heart of my ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme.
We focus on developing how you coach – your attention, presence and confidence — alongside the ICF Core Competencies.
If you’d like to explore whether it’s a good fit for you then let’s have a conversation. Click here to book a call.
The post The Psychology of Flow: Why It Matters for Coaching Presence appeared first on Cath Daley.
In my previous post I outlined the benefits of working with a great Coach Mentor.
But how do you choose a Coach Mentor?
How do you find a great Coach Mentor that is right for you?
What I experienced may help…..
As an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC), Certified ICF Assessor and ICF Coach Mentor I am passionate about mentoring coaches to help them to grow and develop both personally and as a coach and to help them get their ICF Credential.
Mentoring can be a very powerful and transformational experience if you find the right Coach Mentor for you.
And it can be ineffectual and unpleasant if you don’t!
When I was looking for a Coach Mentor for my MCC Credential I felt I wanted to be supported and challenged too at the right level for me. It was a really interesting experience.
The prospective Coach Mentors I had chosen to talk to were all highly experienced, all ICF credentialled and their responses were very different.
I asked them all the same set of questions which gave me a way of comparing them and determining which was the best fit for me.
I took time to think it over before deciding because I know it is so important for me to be working with a great Coach Mentor who “gets” me.
And the one I chose to work with was amazing! We got on so well and she challenged me to be the best I could be.
She helped me grow both personally and as a coach in a way that is still reflected in my coaching.
When searching for a Coach Mentor how do you choose in a market that is loaded with Coach Mentors these days?
How do you find a great one?
The 7 Steps to Choosing a Coach Mentor who is the Best Fit for You###### Step 1: Decide on your reason for wanting to work with a Coach Mentor
- Is it to develop your coaching skills?
- Is it to gain your ICF Credential?
- What are you looking for in a coach mentor?
- Do you actually want mentoring ? or do you need coaching instead?
Step 2: Be clear about the type of Coach Mentor you want to work with
- Do you want a Coach Mentor who has a professional credential? ( ICF, EMCC etc)
- How do you want them to mentor you- do you want them to have a softly softly approach or be challenging?
- Do you want individual or group mentoring? or a combination of both?
Step 3: Do your research
Ask your friends, colleagues and others you trust for recommendations.
Use LinkedIn, Google, Facebook.
If you want to work with an ICF Credentialled Coach Mentor you can use that as a search term
Step 4: Identify potentials
- When you have identified several potential Coach Mentors for you then find out about their coaching training, qualifications, credentials.
- How long have they been coaching? How experienced are they?
- If you are going for a specific credential e.g. ICF, then find out what experience they have of mentoring coaches like you.
- Look at their testimonials and LinkedIn recommendations.
- If you know someone who has given them a testimonial contact them to have a chat about their experience of working with the Coach Mentor concerned.
Step 5: Arrange to have a chat with your potential Coach Mentor
Request a chat so that you can ask questions and get to know them to see if they are a good fit for you and if you are a good fit for them.
- Find out what is included in the Mentoring Programmes they run.
- How often are the coach mentoring sessions? how long are they?
- Do they provide coach development as well? ?
- Do you get feedback on your coaching?
- Do you get to develop your coaching skills?
- What is their approach as a Coach Mentor?
- Ask what experience they have in working with coaches.
- What’s important to them in a mentee?
- What is their track record?
Then I suggest that at the end of your conversation you say that you need time to think it over and you’ll get back to them.
Step 6: Go with your gut instinct
When you have completed the previous steps then I believe you should go with your intuition.
Take time to review how you felt with each potential Coach Mentor.
Did you get a good feeling after chatting with them?
If you did then chances are they will be a great Coach Mentor for you.
Alternatively if you got a feeling that it’s not quite right then it probably won’t be.
Listen to your gut instinct because the relationship with your Coach Mentor is a very personal one and is crucial for success.
STEP 7: Let them know your decision
Contact the Coach Mentor you have decided to work with and ask what the next steps are to begin working together.
Then celebrate in finding a great Coach Mentor for you!
I get asked ” but what if a Coach Mentor is not right for me. How do I tell them without offending them?”
Contact the Coach Mentor to thank them for their time and let them know that you have decided that another Coach Mentor is a better fit for you right now.
All of the professional Coach Mentors I know never take it personally because they know it has to be right for both of you.
I offer a number of free Coach Development and Mentoring Discovery Calls every month for people to get a feel for what it is like to work with me.
I get a sense of what they are looking for, answer any questions they may have and whether or not we are a good fit for each other.
If I feel I can’t help I refer them on to someone who can.
Working with a great Coach Mentor should be a transformationalexperience for you and it is a considerable investment in both time and money so it’s worth taking the time to get it right.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. if you want to take advantage of one of the free sessions then click Coach Development and ICF Mentoring Discovery Calls to book a call
The post Before You Choose a Coach Mentor, Read This appeared first on Cath Daley.
You may, or may not, have thought about working with your own Coach Mentor.
Over the years I have worked with many.Some were good, and to be honest, some were very unhelpful!
But when I found a great Coach Mentor, working with them was one of the best decisons I have ever made.
It accelerated both my personal and professional growth and made a huge difference for me.
Here are just some of the benefits I experienced….
1. Emotional SupportOne of the most profound benefits of having a great Coach Mentor is the emotional support they provide.
Working as a coach, either in your own business or as an internal coach, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and isolated.
A great Coach Mentor offers a safe space to express worries, fears, and frustrations.
This emotional support is crucial for maintaining mental well-being and resilience, enabling you to navigate your role with greater clarity and calmness.
- Enhanced Self-AwarenessSelf-awareness is a cornerstone of developing coaching mastery.
A great Coach Mentor facilitates deep reflection, helping you to gain realisations and insights into your coaching strengths and behavioral patterns.
Through dynamic feedback, you can identify areas for improvement and build on your strengths.
This enhanced self-awareness is not only beneficial for your personal growth but also improves your coaching relationships.
- Objective PerspectiveA great Coach Mentor provides an objective viewpoint, free from the biases and preconceptions that can cloud judgment.
This external perspective helps you to see coaching situations from different angles and encourages innovative thinking
- Skill DevelopmentTailored guidance from a great Coach Mentor can significantly enhance specific coaching skills.
A great Coach Mentor offers practical advice and often shares advanced coaching techniques that take your coaching skills to the next level.
-
ChallengeA great Coach Mentor will challenge you in a supportive way to take you to the edge of your comfort zone which is where all new learning happens so that you grow as a coach and as a person.
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Increased ConfidenceRegular interaction with a great Coach Mentor boosts your self-confidence.
By providing constructive feedback and recognizing achievements, a great Coach Mentor help you build a strong sense of self-worth.
This increased confidence empowers you to take on new challenges, assume greater responsibilities, and make bold decisions without fear of failure.
-
FocusA great Coach Mentor helps you to maintain focus and motivation. When you get off track they bring you back to what’s important for you as a coach so that you get unstuck easily.
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Resilience BuildingResilience is a critical trait for coaches.
Through shared experiences and practical advice, a great Coach Mentor helps you to build that resilience.
Learning how to bounce back from perceived failures, manage your stress and stay positive is essential for your sustained success as a coach.
- Business DevelopmentNavigating the development of your coaching business can be daunting.
A great Coach Mentor can offer invaluable advice, helping you to set realistic goals, identify opportunities for gaining new clients and make informed decisions about your coaching business, all of which accelerate your success.
- Whole-person DevelopmentWorking with a great Coach Mentor provides you with professional development and also encourages your personal growth as a coach.
They help you achieve a balanced life, promoting your well-being and emotional intelligence.
By fostering a growth mindset and encouraging continuous learning, a great Coach Mentor contributes to your development in a holistic way ensuring you thrive both professionally and personally.
In Conclusion……###### The benefits of having a great Coach Mentor are multifaceted and deeply impactful.
It strengthens how you coach, how you relate and how you show up with your clients.
The transformative power of great Coach Mentorship lies in its ability to touch every aspect of your life as a coach and the effect ripples out to your clients, their teams and the systems they’re part of.
As an ICF Master Certified Coach and Coach Mentor, this is what I care deeply about offering and I never tire of watching coaches grow into their own confident, grounded way of working.
But how do you choose the best mentor for you? How do you ensure that you find a great one?
In my next article I’ll share with you 7 Steps to Choosing the Right Coach Mentor for You to help you do just that.
Until next time,
best wishes
Cath
P.S. If you want to find out more about my Coach Development and Mentoring Programme and
how it works then let’s have a conversation! Click here to book a call with me.
The post Why Working with a Great Coach Mentor was One of the Best Decisions I Ever Made appeared first on Cath Daley.
The Pressure to Move FastIn fast-paced leadership environments there’s often an unspoken pressure to respond quickly, decide fast and keep everything moving. Speed gets rewarded. Pausing doesn’t.
And yet, from what I see again and again, the leaders who create the greatest impact aren’t the fastest responders. They’re the ones who know when to slow down and reflect.
What is Reflective Leadership ?Reflective leadership is the deliberate practice of stepping back to think about what’s really going on. It’s not just focussing on what happened but how it happened, the reason it matters and what it means going forward
I’ve heard it described as “self-indulgent introspection “ but it’s far more than that. It’s an active, intentional discipline that takes confidence.
There’s good evidence behind it too. Research shared by Harvard Business School found that people who spent just 15 minutes at the end of the day reflecting on their work improved their performance by over 20% in less than two weeks. Not by doing more but by thinking better about what they were already doing.
Why Reflection is MisunderstoodSo why don’t more leaders reflect?
Because in many organisations, reflection is misunderstood.
It can look like hesitation in cultures that reward prompt action. It can be mistaken for overthinking and it can feel uncomfortable because reflection asks leaders to question their assumptions rather than defend them.
In my view, this is where real executive maturity shows up.
Reflection from a Coaching PerspectiveFrom a coaching perspective, reflection is where powerful insights and realisations come from.
When leaders take time to reflect, they begin to think about their thinking. They notice patterns. They see where emotion, habit, or pressure is driving behaviours and that increased awareness creates choices which change everything.
Reflective leaders also relate differently to feedback.
Instead of resisting or pushing back, they get curious and ask themselves
- What responsibility do I have in this?
- What perspectives am I overlooking?
- What response is called for here?
Feedback then becomes an opportunity for learning, rather than criticism.
And then there’s resilience.
Leaders who build reflective practices into their working lives are better able to process stress, regulate emotion and avoid burnout.
They’re less reactive under pressure and more grounded in moments that really matter.
Building Reflection into LeadershipThere are plenty of simple, practical ways to build reflection into leadership:
- Coaching conversations that allow space for pause, not just problem-solving
- Journaling that explores meaning, not just events
- Regular reviews that focus on learning rather than metrics alone
- Reflective frameworks like Gibbs’ Reflective Cycle or Kolb’s Experiential Learning Cycle
The silent strength of reflection isn’t a personality trait; it’s a capability that can be developed with intention and support.
In the midst of constant noise, reflective leaders create depth. They lead with awareness as much as authority and respond with composure, perspective and purpose.
The real advantage doesn’t come from moving faster but from thinking more clearly.
And I’ll leave you with a question ….Where is reflection strengthening your leadership and where might it be absent?
because sometimes simply noticing the answer is enough to create a real shift.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. If this resonates and you would welcome time away from the day-to-day to think clearly, see patterns and reconnect with what really matters to you as a leader then a Review, Realign, Renew VIP Day is for you.
It offers a focused, confidential space to explore your leadership in depth and you’ll leave with renewed clarity about how you lead and what you want to shift.
You can find out more at https://www.cathdaley.com/vip/
Or Click here to book a call and we’ll have a chat to see if it’s a good next step for you.
The post The Quiet Advantage: Why the Best Leaders Pause Before They Lead appeared first on Cath Daley.
How confident are you as a coach, really?
Not the kind of confidence that needs to be seen but the quieter, internal kind that shows up when a client goes off-script, sits in silence or brings something you didn’t expect.
Confidence Isn’t About Having All the AnswersFor me, coaching confidence has very little to do with knowing what to say.
It’s about three things:
- trust in yourself
- deep commitment to your client’s growth
- genuine belief in the coaching process
They take time to grow, can’t be rushed and you can’t fake them.
So how do you develop them?
Confidence Is Built Through Practice and SupportLike any skill coaching confidence grows through practice.
You get to be a great coach by coaching!
And when that is backed up with supported reflective practice through Coach Mentoring, supervision, being part of a peer coaching group and continuing to grow and develop your coaching skills, the confidence follows.
I’ve spent years doing all of that- rigorous training, working with a coach mentor, having supervision, continuing to develop my skills and a doing a lot of coaching.
Becoming an ICF Master Certified Coach didn’t suddenly make me confident but it did deepen my trust in my ability to stay present, listen deeply and work effectively with whatever a client brings.
And still, qualifications alone don’t make a confident coach.
Confidence is about How You Show UpConfidence is also about how you approach the coaching relationship.
When you work with humility, recognising that every client is unique and has amazing potential, it helps you to work in partnership rather than being in fixer mode.
It is rooted in authenticity. When you show up as your genuine self, bringing empathy, compassion and vulnerability to every coaching session you invite your clients to do the same. This creates a deep sense of connection and trust.
Coming with an open mind and being willing to learn from your clients helps to create a safe and non-judgmental space where clients feel empowered to explore their challenges, dreams and aspirations.
When you believe in your clients’ innate wisdom and potential it allows you to hold space for your clients’ growth, even in the face of uncertainty or resistance.
By asking powerful questions, actively listening and staying focused on the clients’ needs, you can be flexible in your approach and meet them where they are.
You allow the work to unfold rather than forcing it.
Staying Grounded When Coaching Gets ChallengingCoaching isn’t always smooth or comfortable. There are challenges, moments of doubt, resistance and not knowing.
But when your commitment is to the client rather than to getting it right, confidence becomes steadier and more resilient. Each experience strengthens your ability to stay present and trust the process, even when the path isn’t obvious
Trusting the Coaching ProcessUnderpinning all of this, for me, is a deep belief in the power of coaching itself.
From my own experience and that of the hundreds of clients I have coached over the years I believe passionately in the transformative power of coaching, knowing that profound change can happen when people are given the support they need. I feel profoundly grateful to work in partnership with my clients to help them create awareness, deal with challenges and flourish.
My invitation for YouHere are some questions for you to pause and think about what your coaching confidence is like right now.
How Confident Are You as a Coach?
- What do you trust in yourself as a coach?
- Do you trust your training and the experience you’ve built over time, even when a session doesn’t go quite as planned?
- Do you trust the coaching process enough to stay present when you don’t yet know where the conversation is heading?
- Do you trust your own authenticity and your willingness to keep learning, refining, and stretching as a practitioner?
- Do you allow yourself to fully believe in the difference coaching can make for individuals, organisations, and wider communities, or do you sometimes downplay it?
When you sit with those questions, what do you notice?
For me, coaching confidence is rooted in purpose and in a genuine love for the work itself.
It’s not about being finished or having it all figured out. It’s about staying curious, remaining open and continuing to grow.
That’s why, even after all these years, I still find this work as meaningful and absorbing as ever.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. Developing real grounded coaching confidence is a big part of my ICF Accredited *Coach Development and Mentoring Programme.*** If you’d like to have a chat about how it can help you be a more confident coach then click here to schedule a call.
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Have you ever had a moment in a coaching session where you feel that something should land with your client but it doesn’t?
During a recent coaching reflection session one of my mentees shared an experience with me……
She was coaching a senior leader and mid-session she felt her mind wandering. She started planning her next brilliant question instead of actively listening.
The client paused and was visibly searching for words but instead of holding that thinking space the coach jumped in with her next question. The moment passed and who knows? maybe a new deep insight was missed.
At the end of the session the client admitted to the coach that “I just didn’t feel like I had space to think.”
When we are not fully present with our clients that’s what can happen.
If we’re honest I think it has happened to every coach at some time.
We can get distracted by other stuff going on in our lives. We have worries or concerns, stuff we “should” be doing. Our thinking can start to drift in a session, thinking about whether or not we took the chicken out of the freezer for dinner, who the next client is, being on time to pick the children up from school….
And we can focus so much on getting it right. Am I asking the “right” sort of questions? am I listening in the “right” way? am I keeping to time?
All of this means that part of our brain is focussed on something else and we are not fully present with our clients with the result that transformational coaching doesn’t happen.
Why Coaching Presence Matters So MuchCoaching presence is fundamental to great coaching.
In the ICF Core Competencies, presence features prominently:
- Competency 2 – Embodies a Coaching Mindset: This is about being grounded, open, curious, and flexible. If you’re not fully here, you’re not embodying the mindset your client needs.
- Competency 5 – Maintains Presence: This goes even deeper. It’s about being comfortable with not knowing. Being fully conscious and creating a spontaneous relationship with your client from moment to moment to moment.
Coaching Presence is what allows us to hear what isn’t being said; to notice energetic shifts; to respond to the whole person in the moment.
The Real Cost of Distracted CoachingClients sense when you are not fully present with them. They may not mention it directly but they’ll feel it and that erodes trust and openness.
They may behave as “good” clients, saying what they think you want to hear. They may play it safe and avoid going deeper. Consequently, even if the questions sound powerful,the coaching stays surface-level and there is no transformation.
Coaching Presence invites your client to be courageous, to be honest and to explore more deeply.
What Does Strong Coaching Presence Look Like?It looks like the coach who:
- remains still and grounded when the client gets emotional.
- pauses and reflects back when something shifts in the client’s tonality.
- trusts the silence instead of jumping in
- brings calm clarity to the session even when there’s uncertainty.
The Good News ? You Can Develop It.Coaching Presence isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s something you practice and it develops through reflection, self-awareness and feedback.
It’s why I created the Mastering the Art of Coaching Presence: A Self-Assessment Toolkit.
This is designed to help you take a look at how you’re showing up right now in your coaching, across three different levels and offers practical ways to deepen and strengthen your presence.
Because when you show up fully, your clients will too.
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. If you’re ready to develop your presence and elevate the impact of your coaching, then the toolkit is for you.
You can find out more here.
The post When Presence is Missing: What Happens in a Coaching Session? appeared first on Cath Daley.
A Familiar Season of Fresh Starts
It’s that time of year again when social media fills up with posts about goals, intentions, fresh starts and how this year will be different.
And maybe it will be but most of us step into a new year with lives that are far messier and much richer than a simple or neat set of goals can reflect.
The last few years have changed how we look at work, relationships, energy and what actually matters.
Expectations feel different now, maybe quieter, more realistic and sometimes more cautious.
Before You Move Forward, PauseSo before rushing forward, it’s worth pausing.
Looking back isn’t about beating yourself up or replaying what went wrong. It’s about noticing, with honesty and kindness, what you did and didn’t have influence over and what you learned along the way.
And just as importantly, it’s about letting go.
Not forgetting what happened but loosening the emotional grip of the resentments, frustrations and self-criticisms we’ve felt because if we don’t then they inevitably affect our wellbeing and shape our choices, long after the events that caused them have passed.
What You Focus On Shapes What You ExperienceEvery experience, however uncomfortable, is an opportunity to learn – about ourselves, about others and about how we respond when things don’t go to plan.
What we choose to focus on really matters because focus shapes experience.
I see this happening all the time with my clients. When they shift their focus priorities change, resilience increases and they gain far greater clarity, often in ways they didn’t expect.
The Subtle Power of How You Phrase ThingsDo you describe what you’re moving towards or what you’re trying to avoid?
Do you describe what you want or do you describe what you don’t want?
because how you phrase what you want has a subtle and very powerful effect on what actually happens.
You may have heard this, or a version of this, before…..
“Don’t think of a blue hippopotamus in a pink tutu”
Of course you did.
Now some people will say, “no I didn’t” but the thing is, at best it is a two part process.
Your unconscious brain cannot process negatives directly.
To “not think” about something, your mind has to conjure it up first, which means that when we focus on what we don’t want, we often end up reinforcing it.
Why We Get What We Expect (Not What We Want)So what?
If you are thinking about not getting annoyed with someone what are you actually focussing on?
That’s right, getting annoyed! And that’s exactly what happens.
When you are saying to yourself “I hope I don’t get angry”, your unconscious is focusing on getting angry and that’s what you will do! Your attention is already locked onto the very thing you’re trying to avoid.
Because we don’t get what we want- we get what we erxpect.
So if you expect to have an argument with a colleague or family member that’s what you will get. If you expect tension you unconsciously transmit it.
Consciously you might want something different but our expectations leak out in subtle ways: tone of voice, body language, the energy we bring into a situation so that long before we say anything, we’re already communicating.
The Key to Getting Less of What You Don’t WantThe key to getting less of what you don’t want is to change the way you think.
Here is a short exercise that will show you how it works ….
A Simple Reflection Exercise
A) Think of a recent situation that didn’t go the way you wanted and you got what you didn’t want.
- What were you expecting, really?
- What were you saying to yourself beforehand?
- What did you feel in your body?
B) Consider the same recent situation again.
- What positive learning can you take from it?
- How can you use this learning in the future?
C) Imagine a similar situation that may arise in the future.
This time, focus clearly on what you do want to happen. Be specific and make this your expectation.
- What are you saying to yourself now?
- What does it feel like?
- How does that change how you show up?
Choosing Expectations, Not Forcing PositivityChanging your expectations will change the results you get.
This isn’t about forcing positivity or pretending everything is fine. It’s about noticing expectations and choosing them deliberately.
You don’t have to believe every thought you have. Some are just old habits surfacing.
Consider which will serve you better in terms of the results you want to get because you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it. Think about it!
A Different Question for the Year AheadAs this year begins, instead of asking:
What do I want to stop happening?
Try asking:
What am I choosing to expect?
When you focus on what you do expect in this way I guarantee you will get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want.
So what do you expect to get in 2026?
Until next time
Cath
x
P.S. If you are really serious about changing your results and want help to kick start your success in 2026 then click here to contact me about the Reset, Realign,Renew Personal Coaching Days I am running in Jan.
The post How to Get Less of What You Don’t Want in 2026 appeared first on Cath Daley.
A brand new year is almost here and slowly the daylight hours are beginning to lengthen again.
This is usually the time when we’re tempted to make some New Year’s Resolutions.
Have you made any yet?
Why Most Resolutions Don’t LastWhat we know (and the statistics haven’t changed much over the years) is that by the end of January only about 10% of people are still sticking with them.
Most resolutions stagger on for a few weeks, make us feel mildly uncomfortable or quietly guilty and then fade away as routines and demands creep back in. It’s happened to me many times in the past and I’m guessing it probably has for you too.
When We Focus on What We Don’t WantWhat’s interesting is the reason we make resolutions in the first place.
Usually it’s because there’s something in our work or our life that we genuinely want to change for the better.
And yet so many resolutions are framed around not doing something.
“I’m not going to get wound up when X doesn’t turn up to the meeting.”
“I’m not going to check emails on holiday.”
“I’m not going to let this bother me.”
The trouble is, when we focus on what we don’t want, our attention stays right there.
Instead of being drawn towards the benefits we’re hoping for, we end up wrestling with the very behaviour we’re trying to avoid.
It’s hardly surprising that so many resolutions quietly unravel!
So What Has This Got to Do With Leadership?You might be wondering what any of this has to do with leadership or personal development.
But pause for a moment. How often do you decide that this year you’re going to do things differently? And how often do you simply hope things will improve without really changing how you’re approaching them?
Leadership, of ourselves as well as others, begins with intentional choices rather than wishful thinking.
From Resolutions to Real SolutionsThe clue is hidden in the word resolution itself.
What if we dropped the “re” and focused on the solution instead?
Rather than revisiting the same promises year after year, what if you got genuinely clear about what you actually want?
Not what you want to stop doing but what you want more of.
Getting Clear on What You Actually WantImagine how your work or your life would look, sound and feel if that were already in place.
What would happen if you were to think less about what you might be giving up and more about what you’ll gain?
And here’s the bit that really matters: make sure it’s important to you.
Not because you think you should want it, or to impress anyone or because someone else expects it,
but because change tends to stick when it makes a meaningful difference to how you experience your day-to-day life.
Why Writing It Down Changes EverythingIf you want to get more of what you want more easily the first step is often the one we skip.
It’s deciding specifically what we want and then writing it down.
There’s something powerful about giving your thinking physical form. Until you do, it remains a nice idea drifting past.
Writing it down anchors it and turns intention into something you can come back to.
Some Questions That Create MomentumIf you want different results, consider pausing for a while to reflect on the questions below.
I know that you’re probably going to say that you don’t have time to do it and that’s exactly why you need to!
Writing your responses down in a notebook can help you get greater, and often unexpected, clarity.
Consider :
- What do I most want to change?
- What do I want instead?
- What do I want specifically?
- How will I know I’ve got it?
- What will this allow me to do or experience?
- What’s the reason this matters to me?
- What difference will it make when I achieve it?
Accountability and the Quiet Shift Into ActionSimply sitting with these questions starts to shift how you think. And when you share your intentions with others, something else happens too — accountability appears, almost effortlessly.
That’s often where momentum really begins and where growth starts to feel less forced and more natural.
A Different Way to Step Into the Year AheadIn the next post, I’ll explore how to get less of what you don’t want, without trying to force change, so this year can unfold very differently for you.
And if you’re feeling ready for some support to help you create that shift, you know where to find me.
Until next time
Cath
x
The post The Temptation of New Year Resolutions appeared first on Cath Daley.
There’s something distinctive about the days between Christmas and New Year.
The main event has passed and the urgency hasn’t quite returned.
I’ve always loved this part of the year. Not because anything dramatic happens, but because the pace changes just enough for us to hear ourselves think again.
For a few days the diary is emptier and the world seems to give us permission to pause without explanation. And in that pause, something interesting often happens.
We begin to notice.Not in a big, analytical way, just quietly.
We notice what this year has taken from us and what it’s given us in return.
We notice what feels complete and what still feels unresolved.
We notice where we’ve grown and where we might have been running on habit rather than intention.
This is not the time for making resolutions (that probably won’t work).
What this time offers instead is something more subtle and, I think, more valuable: perspective.
When the noise lessens things look different. The decisions that felt heavy last month often start to feel easier. What once felt urgent no longer demands the same attention.
And sometimes, without any effort at all, a quieter sense of what matters begins to take shape.
I see this again and again in with my clients.
When people stop trying to “figure out” the next year and simply allow this one to gently close, clarity arrives in its own time without being forced. or rushed. It just comes.
A Gentle Invitation.If you’re in that in-between space right now, here’s a gentle invitation.
Rather than asking yourself what you want to achieve next year, instead ask yourself :
- What from this year wants acknowledging before I move on?
- What feels complete, even if it didn’t turn out as planned?
- What am I ready to carry forward ?
- What am I quietly ready to leave behind?
Sit with the questions and see what surfaces over the next few days.
If you find yourself drifting a little this week, maybe moving more slowly, thinking without pushing for answers, you’re probably exactly where you need to be.
There’s plenty of time for intention-setting and forward motion.
For now, let this space do what it does best.
It often knows the way before we do.
Renew, Realign, ResetThis time between Christmas and New Year often gives people a glimpse of something they don’t usually have enough of – thinking space.
My Renew,Realign,Reset Day is designed to offer exactly that, but with more depth and support. It’s a day held entirely for you to reflect on what’s been and get clear about what matters now.
There is nothing to prepare, just space, presence and deep coaching.
If you’d like to explore whether that kind of day would be helpful for you, click here to find out more.
Until next time,
Cath
x
The post The In-Between Days appeared first on Cath Daley.
I’ve been packing for La Dolce Vita for Coaches this week, and it’s made me stop and think.
Because when I looked at what I was packing, alongside the clothes were stories, colour cards, LEGO bricks, journals, and that slightly battered notebook where the best ideas tend to land mid-espresso.
And I realised that this is exactly what coaching is like.
Many think that coaching is about packing tools and techniques.
But what leads to mastery is gathering moments, insights and ways of being that shape who we are as coaches.
That’s what L*a Dolce Vita for Coaches* is for me.
It’s a space to pause and reconnect with what coaching really means when we’re not trying so hard to “do it right.”
There’s something about Tuscany that makes that easier.
Maybe it’s the sunlight bouncing off the old stone, or the gentle rhythm of conversation over coffee.
And in that space, the magic happens.
That’s when Competency 2: Embodies a Coaching Mindset , suddenly makes sense on a whole new level.
It’s not about theory.
It’s about presence. The kind that comes when you finally stop rushing.
We’ll be playing (yes, playing!) with LEGO® Serious Play®, exploring metaphor through colour, and walking reflective “passeggiatas” through the gardens.
Because when we’re playful, our defences drop.
When we’re quiet, we start to hear what’s underneath the words.
And when we’re together, really together, reflection becomes natural.
I’ve seen so many coaches rediscover their confidence not by adding more, but by noticing what’s already there.
That’s coaching mastery.
And that’s also what mentoring is for me. It’s not about fixing or grading, but creating a space where awareness can grow
with a blend of curiosity, compassion, and courage that invites something new to emerge.
Preparing for the event has reminded me how important it is for all of us, me included, to step back sometimes.
To replenish and let coaching breathe again.
So as I finish my packing, I’m thinking about the coaches who’ll join me there and how much I’ll learn from them too.
Because that’s the sweet life. It’s not just sunshine and gelato, but the sweetness of slowing down enough to notice.
Where might you need more space right now — in your coaching, or in yourself?
Until next time,
Cath
P.S. Registration for the next La Dolce Vita for Coaches will be opening soon. If you would like to be added to the waiting list email me at cdaley@cathdaley.com. I’m sure the places will go quickly!
The post What Packing for Tuscany Taught Me About Coaching Mastery appeared first on Cath Daley.
I was at an online networking event recently and we were chatting in a breakout room.
I was surprised when another coach said to me “You’ve been coaching for over two decades… surely you coach yourself now?”
And honestly? No. I don’t.
I never have and I never will.
Here’s why………Coaching isn’t the same as thinking something through in your head.
It’s not journalling harder or asking yourself a few clever questions.
Coaching is a partnership.It takes place in a dynamic space where someone else is fully present to you—noticing, reflecting, gently refelcting the patterns you can’t see from the inside.
When I try to coach myself, I skip over the awkward bits.
I rationalise. I filter. I unconsciously protect myself from what I don’t want to feel or face.
And that’s not coaching; it’s self-preservation.
A good coach doesn’t buy into your stories.
They hear what you’ve glossed over.
They help you come back to what really matters.
I can’t do that for myself, not with the same clarity, honesty, or depth.
And to be honest, I don’t want to.
When I’m the client, I want to be fully present in the experience.To feel, to explore, to unpack.
To not be “on my guard” or managing the process.
To let myself be seen.
That’s where the shifts happen.
And that’s why I choose to be coached.
Because if I believe in the power of coaching—and I do—then I have to trust the process enough to step into it myself.
I won’t coach myself.
Because I respect coaching too much to dilute it.
And I respect myself enough to know I deserve the real thing.
Coaching works best when we’re willing to be fully seen.
Not managing the process, not performing. Just present….
because that’s where the real transformation begins—on the other side of surrender.
As you think about coaching yourself……. Where might self-coaching be keeping you safe… but stuck?
What are you not hearing when you try to be both coach and client?
Where in your own professional growth are you still trying to go it alone?
Until next time,
Cath
x
P.S. if this resonates and you haven’t yet signed up, you’ll love my Coaching Tip of the Week .
A short, practical, thought-provoking prompt straight to your inbox every week.
Click here to sign up.
The post Why I Don’t, and Won’t, Coach Myself appeared first on Cath Daley.
Many great coaches get a shock when their ICF recording doesn’t pass.
It’s not because they’re not good coaches. Far from it.
The real issue is that the ICF credential assessment isn’t simply about showing that you can coach. It’s about demonstrating your skills through the ICF lens—and that’s where even experienced coaches stumble.
After years as an ICF Coach Mentor and Assessor I recognise that the same pitfalls come up again and again.
If you’re aiming for ACC, PCC or renewal, here are three of the biggest ones:
1. Over-helping the clientWe go into coaching because we want to make a difference.
But “helping” doesn’t mean fixing or steering the client to the answer you think they need.
Many coaches unintentionally slip into teaching, advising, or rescuing, especially when silence feels uncomfortable.
This is directive rather than partnering.
What to do differently
Trust the client’s resourcefulness.
Ask, explore, reflect and then pause.
Give the client the space to think for themselves.
2. Not making the coaching agreement explicitThis is the single biggest reason coaches miss the mark.
ICF isn’t looking for you to “sort of know” the topic.
They want to hear a clear, agreed focus and measures of success in the client’s words.
Without that, your coaching can sound like a helpful conversation rather than a purposeful partnership.
What to do differently
Slow down at the start.
Ask, “What would you like to walk away with today?”
Then go deeper: “And what will that give you?”
3. Staying on the surfaceIf you stay in the content, it keeps the coaching at story-level, rather than opening up the client’s deeper insights.
Great coaching goes beyond what’s first said.
What to do differently
Notice patterns, beliefs, values, energy shifts.
Share them (with permission) and invite the client to explore: “I notice your voice softens when you talk about that—what’s behind that for you?”
Why this is importantPassing the ICF credential assessment isn’t just about getting the badge.
The process of refining your skills to meet the Core Competencies changes the way you coach.
You become more present, more confident and more at ease in partnering fully with your clients.
Bridging the gapIt’s hard to self-assess your own recordings through the ICF lens.
We all have blind spots and things we think we’re doing but which aren’t coming across in the recording.
That’s just one of the things we cover on my ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme.
With 10 hours of ICF Mentoring plus 30 CCEUs, you’ll work in a small group (max 9 coaches) where you’ll get personalised, instant dynamic feedback from me as both a Mentor and an ICF Assessor. You’ll know exactly where you’re on track and where to fine-tune, so by the time you submit your recording, you’re feeling confident and ready.
And I’m proud of the fact that I have 100% success rate because every coach I’ve mentored has had their recordings pass first time.
If you’re aiming for ACC, PCC, or renewal this year, now’s the time to start.
You can find out more here.
Until next time,
Cath
X
P.S. if you want to have a chat and find out if this is the right next step for you click here to arrange a call and I’ll answer any questions you have.
The post Why Good Coaches Struggle to Pass the ICF Credential Assessment (and How to Avoid the Pitfalls) appeared first on Cath Daley.
I’ll admit it- I’m a Wimbledon fanatic and have been since I was about 12!
I could watch it all day, every day. And have done in the past.
As soon as I got home from school I’d put the tennis on and watch it until the broadcast finished at 7pm.
Maybe it’s because of the Coach Mentoring I have been doing over the last year or so, but watching it over the last fortnight something dawned on me that I hadn’t noticed before.
There’s something quietly hypnotic about it.
The pristine whites, the hush of Centre Court, the unrelenting discipline of the players and then, the sudden explosion of brilliance.
This year, what struck me most wasn’t the power or precision of the great players. It was their presence.
You can feel it. The brilliant players don’t just react but respond, to the ball, to the pressure, to the crowd.
And to how the momentum shifts in the match from moment to moment in each game.
The best players read the moment.
Watching the matches unfold, I kept thinking that real, transformational coaching is more like Centre Court tennis than we often admit.
Here’s why:
Coaching, like Wimbledon, is won in the margins
It’s not always the big dramatic moments that decide a match. It’s the micro-adjustments: a change of grip, a deeper breath before the serve.
In coaching, too, it’s often the quiet moments, the pause before we speak, the shift in energy we notice, that changes everything.
Resets are part of the rhythm
In tennis, when things go off-track, the best players step back, bounce the ball, re-centre. They don’t panic, they reset.
As coaches, we need our own version of that. Not every session flows but we can always pause, ground ourselves, and reset in the moment to be more present.
Your coaching doesn’t need to be flashy to be phenomenal
Some of the most masterful players don’t have the biggest serves. They have the best timing.
In coaching, too, impact isn’t about asking the most powerful question.
It’s about the right question at the right moment, asked with quiet confidence.
You bring your full self
At Wimbledon, every player brings their full self to the court, their rituals, their history, their determination as well as their skills.
The same is true in coaching.
Our presence, our intuition and our humanity are our greatest assets.
Wimbledon reminded me that real mastery isn’t always the most visible or dramatic but it is what quietly shifts the game.
Next time you’re in a coaching session, think of Centre Court.
Think of grace under pressure, emotional intelligence, and mastering the art of the moment…
….because it changes everything.
Until next time
Cath
x
The post What Wimbledon Can Teach Us About Coaching Mastery appeared first on Cath Daley.
A few months ago, I was working with a coach on my 1-2-1 Persional Mentoring Programme.
Susan was the kind of coach other people recommended without hesitation.
She was thoughtful, calm and quietly confident ; the sort of coach who made you feel truly seen and heard.
She had regular referrals, a full diary and strong client feedback. On the surface, everything was working.
But during one of our sessions, Susan shared something that I wasn’t expecting.
She said, “I’m not sure where I am in my coaching anymore. I’m still showing up but it’s as if I’m following a script. I feel like I’m just going through the motions.”
She was aware that something had changed and not in a good way.
It wasn’t that she was struggling or failing. She wasn’t doubting her credentials or her experience.
She was still doing the work and doing it well. Her clients were still getting results but she’d stopped listening to herself. Somewhere in the rhythm of back-to-back sessions, client care and staying on top of everything in her business she had become disconnected from something essential – her own presence in the coaching process.
Sense of Disconnection….That sense of disconnection is something many experienced coaches feel at some point in their journey.
Not because anything is wrong, but because they’ve been holding space for others for so long, they’ve stopped making space for themselves.
The truth is that real, impactful coaching requires more than just showing up and asking powerful questions.
It needs depth, energy and connection but we often don’t notice when they are running low.
We get so caught up in supporting our clients, meeting deadlines, delivering effective sessions and running our businesses,
that we forget our own growth and replenishment need attention too.
We start to tread water and our coaching sessions become more structured than intuitive.
We still show up, but not with the same energy or clarity. We’re giving, but we’re not receiving.
We begin to miss the joy, the creativity, and the deep sense of being with our clients.
Time to BreatheWhat Susan needed wasn’t another technique or credential.
She needed time to step back and breathe; to reflect and reconnect with her presence and her purpose as a coach.
And perhaps you do, too.
Pause, Replenish, GrowThat’s why I created La Dolce Vita for Coaches as a rich, restorative experience designed for coaches who want to pause, breathe, grow and come back to the heart of their practice.
Held in a stunning former ducal palace in Pisa, now a 5-star luxury hotel, this training combines deep coaching development with the kind of restorative experience that most coaches rarely give themselves.
You’ll explore innovative approaches like Coaching in Colour, NLP in Coaching, and The 6 Cs of Coaching Mastery, all grounded in the ICF Core Competencies but brought to life in a way that is fun and innovative.
You’ll also have time to journal on the sun-drenched terrace, reflect with other brilliant coaches, eat beautiful food, and have uninterrupted time to simlpy be.
It’s a rare opportunity to refocus your coaching practice, reignite your sense of purpose, and return home not only refreshed, but realigned.
If you’ve been holding space for everyone else, maybe now is the moment to create some for you.
Because the most powerful coaching doesn’t come from doing more —
It comes from being fully present. Starting with you.
If you want to join us in Italy…… there are just a couple of places still available.
You can find out more by clicking on the link below.
La Dolce Vita for Coaches
Pisa, Italy | October 2025
Join us → www.cathdaley.com/la-dolce-vita
I’d love to have you come and join us for what I know will be an extraordinary experience!
Uneil next time
Cath
x
The post When Coaches Stop Listening to Themselves appeared first on Cath Daley.
Ever feel like you’re spinning your wheels as a coach? That you’ve lost your spark?
Believe me, you’re not alone.
But what if that feeling of being stuck is actually a signal?
A signal that it’s time to step up, to stretch yourself, and to re-ignite that coaching spark.
The truth is, as coaches, we’re so focused on helping others reach their potential that we often forget to keep growing ourselves.
We can end up using the same old techniques, leaning on tried-and-tested methods that once worked really well but now feel stale.
And that feeling of being stuck can lead to a lack of motivation and feelings of not being good enough.
Why Do Coaches Get Stuck? Common PitfallsEven the most experienced coaches can feel stuck at times. I know-it’s happened to me.
But why does it happen?
It often comes down to three core reasons:
Complacency:
You’ve found a formula that works, so you stick with it. But what happens when it stops working? Relying on the same approach over and over can lead to stagnation, leaving both you and your clients feeling uninspired.
Lack of Feedback:
Who’s holding up the mirror for you?
Without external feedback, it’s very easy to overlook areas for growth and development.
Developmental feedback is crucial to keep growing as a coach.
Isolation:
Coaching can be a lonely profession.
Without a trusted network to bounce ideas off, you may feel like you’re running on empty, with no fresh perspectives to keep your practice dynamic and engaging.
Common Client TrapsBeyond these broader challenges, coaches can also get stuck in specific traps when working with clients:
Over-identifying with Clients:
It’s natural to connect with your clients, but becoming too invested in their stories can blur the lines between their journey and yours. This can cloud your objectivity and limit your effectiveness.
Defaulting to the Same Techniques:
Repeating the same techniques regardless of the client’s unique needs can make sessions feel monotonous and uninspiring.
Tailoring your approach to each client can reinvigorate both you and them.
Fear of Challenging the Client:
You might avoid asking the tough questions, fearing it may upset the client or trigger something in you..
But without challenge, there’s no growth.
Leaning into those difficult but necessary conversations can be the catalyst for true transformation.
Breaking Free from the Coaching Rut###### 3 Questions
Feeling stuck as a coach isn’t a sign of failure — it’s a signal that you’re ready for a breakthrough.
So how do you shift gears and get moving again?
Start by asking yourself these three powerful questions:
1. What’s one area of my coaching practice that feels outdated or stale?
Identifying where you’re stuck can be the first step towards fresh insights and renewed energy.
2. Who can I reach out to for fresh perspectives and constructive feedback?
A trusted peer, mentor, or supervisor can help you see blind spots and provide that much-needed nudge forward.
3.What new skills or approaches can I explore to reignite my passion for coaching?
Sometimes, all it takes is a new technique or framework to reinvigorate your sessions and bring fresh energy to your practice.
Once you’ve reflected on these questions, it’s time to take action.
3 Practical Tips
Here are three practical tips to help you get unstuck:
- Experiment with your approach:
Experiment with a new coaching framework or technique to shake things up and gain fresh insights.
- Reconnect with Your Why:
Why did you startcoaching in the first place.? What excites you about this work? How can you bring that spark back to your sessions?
- Find a great Coach Mentor or Supervisor:
Get a fresh perspective from someone who can hold up the mirror and offer developmental feedback that will help you to grow.
The Power of Coach MentoringImagine having a space where you can reflect, regroup, and recharge – a space where you’re not just the coach, but also the coachee. That’s where coach mentoring comes in.
It’s not just about refining your skills; it’s about rediscovering your passion, challenging your perspectives, and reigniting that spark that made you fall in love with coaching in the first place.
My ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme is designed to do just that.
It’s a space to reflect, refine, and reignite your coaching practice alongside other like-minded coaches.
“The best thing about it has been the support of the whole group. I’ve really felt I can make mistakes, and I don’t have to be perfect because I feel supported. And actually from that, you just grow more because you’re not so stuck in this box of Oh, my God, I’ve got it wrong. I’d say whatever wherever you are, definitely do it because there’s so much to be learned about the process, but also about oneself. It’s very accessible, too… I don’t feel rushed. I don’t feel pressured. I feel I can do it, and I think absolutely without hesitation I tell people I can’t believe why you haven’t done it” Jane Mitchell, Graduate
You’ll get personalised feedback, practical strategies, and powerful insights that can help you move from feeling stuck to feeling unstoppable.
Ready to take the next step?
Let’s have a conversation. Click here to book a call.
I’d love to help you reignite your passion and elevate your coaching practice.
Until next time.
Best wishes,
Cath
The post Feeling Stuck as a Coach? Here’s How to Reignite Your Spark appeared first on Cath Daley.
As coaches, we hold space for our clients to pause, think, reflect, and grow.
But how often do we give ourselves that same gift?
Reflection is Essential for GrowthIn a profession that prizes presence, curiosity, and deep listening I think that reflection isn’t optional—it’s essential.
It’s where we get our deepest insights from.
It’s how we notice the patterns we are running.
It’s how we stretch ourselves.
It’s how we grow.
The best coaches I know aren’t just great at questioning and listening, they’re great at reflecting too.
They review their coaching sessions, not to listen to their inner critic, but to get curious:
- What did I notice in myself?
- Where was I fully present?
- Where did I get drawn in to the story?
- What surprised me?
This kind of reflection—intentional, kind, and curious—is the silent strength that allows coaches to develop coaching mastery.
Supported by Research.A study by Di Stefano et al. at Harvard Business School (2014) found that just 15 minutes of structured reflection at the end of each day significantly improved performance—by up to 23%.
Why? Because reflecting consolidates learning.
When I was teaching I encouraged all of my students and the teachers I trained to spend time reflecting on their learning because it helps us make sense of our experience and embeds the learning from it.
Donald Schön’s work on The Reflective Practitioner (1983) also shines here.
He introduced the concept of “reflection-in-action” and “reflection-on-action,” which describes how professionals improve by thinking critically during and after their work. It’s a perfect fit for coaching, where our moment-to-moment awareness shapes everything.
It’s not just theory. The ICF itself recognises reflective practice as essential. The updated Core Competency 2: Embodies a Coaching Mindset includes a clear expectation that coaches engage in regular reflection to support ongoing learning and presence.
In ICF’s own competency framework, reflection underpins several core skills: embodying a coaching mindset, cultivating trust, maintaining presence. These aren’t just techniques. They’re habits of mind that are built through reflection.
Without it, we risk becoming transactional and coaching sessions start to follow a set pattern. We can find ourselves leaning into what’s comfortable rather than what’s challenging.
Reflection breaks that pattern. It brings freshness and depth back into what we do.
In the work I do mentoring and assessing coaches, I see this all the time.
Coaches who reflect deeply are the ones who grow fastest.
They self-coach between sessions. They show up more self-aware, less attached to outcomes and have a far bigger impact.
So How Do You Develop The Silent Strength?Here are four things you can do:
Make time after sessions, not just for your notes, but for new insights and deeper meaning to appear
Journal regularly with prompts that stretch you beyond “what happened” to what you learned about yourself and about your client
Record and listen to your sessions through the focus of learning rather than using it to criticise yourself
Work with your own coach or mentor to uncover any potential blind spots and assumptions
Reflection isn’t about ticking a box, or doing it for appearances sake, or because you’re supposed to…..
It’s about deepening your practice in a way that enables you to move from ordinary to extraordinary; from focusing on technique to creating transformation.
And a good place to start is to ask yourself this question:
Where am I pausing to make sense of my own coaching?
Because when we reflect, we grow.
And when we grow, our clients do too!
Until next time,
With best wishes
Cath
If you want fresh ideas to refine your practice, spark new insights, and support your clients more effectively then why not sign up for my free Coaching Tip of the Week? Each week, I share a concise, actionable tip designed specifically for qualified coaches like you—practical, thought-provoking, and ready to use.
Click here to get them delivered to your inbox each week.
The post The Silent Strength: Why Reflective Coaches Are the Most Powerful Ones appeared first on Cath Daley.
I run developmental Coaching Circles for graduates of my Coach Development and Mentoring Programme.
One of the elements that we considered in our session this week was “Being Fearless as a Coach” and it led to a really interesting discussion.
I wonder what comes up for you when you read “Being Fearless as a Coach” ?
Fearless gets mentioned a lot, especially in coaching and leadership circles.
But what does it look like in coaching?
Being Fearless and Bold.As coaches, we’re here to be in service of our clients and real service often means being bold and fearless.
I’ve mentored so many coaches who are brilliant but hold back because they’re afraid of getting it wrong.
Who are afraid of being too much for their clients or not being good enough.
Who second-guess themselves…..
“What if I mess this up?”
“What if they don’t like my question?”
“What if I get it wrong?”
They don’t want to challenge their clients too much, or back off because they start to feel uncomfortable.
And I get it but one of the best shifts I ever made in my own coaching was realising: it’s not about me.
The minute I stopped making it about me, about getting it right, or being a great coach and focused on being in service of my client that’s when everything opened up and I found the courage to be fearless.
Being Fearless doesn’t mean being perfectBeing perfect actually gets in the way of great coaching because that’s not what our clients need.
They need us to be real, present, and willing to hold space for whatever shows up.
Being fearless as a coach is not about being reckless or provocative for the sake of it.
- It’s about being deeply present, listening beyond the words, and trusting ourselves enough to follow our intuition — even when it feels risky.
- It’s asking the question that might make your client uncomfortable because you know it could lead to a breakthrough.
- It’s holding the silence when your instinct is to fill it, because you know the silence is where the shift often happens.
- It’s being willing to lean into discomfort — ours and the client’s — because we know that’s where the potential for growth lies.
For when we show up fearless, we give our clients permission to do the same.
Being Fearless is sometimes quiet.It’s not always the big bold challenge or dramatic question.
Sometimes it’s holding a pause for just a few seconds longer.
Being comfortable with the not-knowing.
Letting go of the need to have the “right” question and allowing the moment to unfold.
Being Fearless is trusting yourselfBeing fearless is also about trusting yourself as a coach.
- Trusting that you can handle whatever comes up.
- Trusting that your client is resilient and resourceful.
- Trusting that curiosity, presence and partnership will create the the space for powerful new insights.
Being Fearless is about growth and developmentBeing fearless is also about our own growth and development as coaches.
It’s about being willing to to receive feedback; to be mentored; to look at our blind spots and ask ourselves honestly……
- “Where am I holding back?”
- “Where am I playing it safe?”
- “Where am I more concerned with being liked than being useful?”
So, if you’re reading this and thinking, “I know I’m playing it safe sometimes,” good. That’s great awareness.
And my invitation to youis to consider the following:
- What would being a little more fearless look like for you in your next coaching conversation?
- What might you say or ask if you didn’t play it safe?
- What might you explore if you gave yourself full permission to serve, rather than please?
because being fearless as a coach is about focusing on our clients’ growth, clarity and transformation and that’s where coaching mastery lies.
And I’ll leave you with a question…
How fearless are you willing to be?
Until next time,
with best wishes
Cath
P.S. if you want fresh ideas to refine your practice, spark new insights, and support your clients more effectively then sign up for my free Coaching Tip of the Week delivered to your inbox every week.
The post Being Fearless as a Coach appeared first on Cath Daley.
When I started coaching over 23 years ago, now, I was passionate, eager, and determined to make a difference.
Looking back now as an ICF Master Certified Coach, there are so many things I wish I’d known then that would have made the journey smoother, more fulfilling, and—honestly! —a little less stressful.
If I could go back and have a chat with my younger coaching self, here’s what I’d say:
1. You Don’t Need to Have All the AnswersCoaching isn’t about having the perfect solution for your client—it’s about creating the space for them to find their own.
At the beginning, I sometimes felt under pressure to make sure my client got what they came for- that it was my responsibility that they got it .
But over the years I’ve realised that real transformation happens when the client discovers their own path.
2. The Power of SilenceSilence felt uncomfortable at first.
I thought I had to keep the conversation moving.
I’ve since learned that silence is where some of the biggest insights happen.
If you trust the process and trust yourself as a coach then silence is a gift.
3. Coaching Isn’t Just About TechniquesI used to focus on getting the “right” model, the “right” question, the “right” structure.
But coaching is so much more than that—it’s about presence, trust, and connection.
The techniques and models are tools and it isfar more powerful when you let go of your reliance on them and come from a place of genuine connection.
4. You Don’t Have to Be the Perfect CoachEarly on, I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect in every session.
The reality is that there’s no such thing as a perfect coach.ing session or the perfect coach.
The key is to develop your reflective practice to continue learning and growing.
5. Clients Aren’t Looking for a GuruImposter syndrome used to creep in—what if I wasn’t “good enough” or “experienced enough”?
But coaching isn’t about having all the wisdom.
Clients don’t need an expert. They need a partner who is willing to challenge and support them.
6. Not Every Client is a Good FitI used to find it hard to say “no” to a client beacuse I wanted to help everyone!
But I learned the hard way that not every client is a good fit. And that’s fine.
It’s about trusting your intuition- if it doesn’t feel like a good fit it won’t be!
Now I only work with clients who I have a genuine connection with that I know I can serve.
7. Boundaries Matter—A LotIt took me a while to realise that having clear boundaries as a coach is essential.
Overgiving, overextending, or trying to work with everyone leads to burnout.
Now, I protect my time and my energy so I can show up fully for my clients at the same time as looking after my own well-being.
8. Professional Development Never StopsEven after thousands of hours of coaching, I’m still learning.
The best coaches stay curious, keep refining and developing their skills and invest in their own growth.
The moment you think you’ve “arrived” is the moment you stop evolving.
9. The ICF Credential Process is Worth ItI put off getting a credential for years because I didn’t think I needed one.
It was only when I lost a significant corporate coaching contract because I didn’t have one, that I changed my mind.
Becoming an ICF Master Certified Coach has been a game-changer for me, both personally and professionally.
It has been a rigorous and challenging journey that has elevated my skills, confidence, and credibility.
And it has opened up opportunities I otherwise would not have had.
I only wish I’d started sooner!
10. Coaching is the Best Job in the WorldDespite the challenges and the moments of self-doubt, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Coaching transforms lives—including your own.
And after 23 years, I still wake up excited to do this work.
If you’re on your own coaching journey, know this: you’re exactly where you need to be.
Keep going, keep learning, and enjoy the ride. It’s worth it.
until next time
Best wishes
Cath
P.S. If you want to have a chat about anything in this post then let’s have a conversation.
Click here to book a call.
The post 10 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Started Coaching 23 Years Ago – Reflections from an ICF Master Certified Coach appeared first on Cath Daley.
One of the most common challenges we face as executive and leadership coaches —especially if we are working with senior leaders—is balance.
Not just the balance in the different areas of our lives but the balance of purpose and passion.
When you’re deeply invested in coaching, it can feel all-consuming.
You want to show up fully for your clients, continue your own professional development, and stay ahead of industry trends.
But what about the rest of your life?
What about the things that bring you joy outside of coaching—the hobbies, relationships, and personal growth that make you, well, you?
The Trap of OvercommitmentAs coaches, we often tell our clients that they need to set boundaries, prioritise what matters, and avoid burnout.
But how often do we take our own advice?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying “yes” to everything.
Another client? Of course.
A new training programme? Definitely.
Volunteering for a coaching event? Why not?
Before you know it, your calendar is full, your energy is drained, and that weekend break you promised yourself keeps getting pushed back.
Sounds familiar?
This is where we need to stop and take the time to reflect.
I believe we have to walk our talk and if we emphasise the importance of balance to our clients,
then we should be embodying it ourselves.
Coaching is a privilege, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of our personal passions.
Defining What Balance Means for YouBalance isn’t a one-size-fits-all concept. It’s deeply personal.
For some, it means making time for creative pursuits—painting, writing, playing music.
For others, it’s about travel, fitness, being in nature, or spending quality time with family and friends.
The key is to define what balance means for you.
What do you need to feel energised and fulfilled?
What lights you up?
When do you feel most your authentic self?
Once you have that clarity then you can start making conscious choices to integrate your personal passions into your schedule.
Practical Strategies to Create More Balance###### 1. Schedule Passion Time Like a Client Session
If it’s in the diary, it’s more likely to happen.
Treat your personal passions as non-negotiable appointments.
Whether it’s a yoga class, a long walk, or time to read a great book, block it out in your calendar.
2. Set Boundaries with Clients and Yourself
Believe it or not, not every gap in your diary needs to be filled with work.
Be intentional about when you coach, when you’re available, and when you’re off-limits.
Don’t just set boundaries—follow them.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Say No
Not every opportunity is the right opportunity.
If something doesn’t align with your bigger vision or takes away from the balance you need, give yourself permission to say no.
4. Embrace ‘Good Enough’ Rather Than Perfection
As a coach I’m sure you have high standards (which is great!), but striving for perfection can be exhausting.
There is no such thing as a perfect coaching session!
Not every coaching session needs to be groundbreaking.
Not every email needs to be rewritten three times.
Letting go of the need to be perfect frees up valuable time and energy.
5. Check in with Yourself Regularly
Just as you support your clients in self-reflection, take time to reflect on your own balance.
Reflect on:
What’s working?
What’s not working?
What do you want to change?
And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, give yourself the time and space to re-energise.
The Power of Leading by ExampleOur clients often look to us, not just for coaching but, for inspiration.
When they see us actively pursuing a balanced life—one where we honour both our work and our personal passions—they’re more likely to do the same.
Balance isn’t about doing everything perfectly.
It’s about making choices that allow you to thrive in both your coaching practice and your personal life.
Making changes one small step at a time.
So let me ask you what’s one small shift you can make this week to create more balance?
Until next time,
best wishes,
Cath
The post A Balancing Act? Juggling Executive Coaching and Personal Passions appeared first on Cath Daley.
What have bolied eggs got to do with coaching?
I’ll begin by sharing one of my favourite stories with you…
A young woman was in her kitchen.
A pan of water was simmering on the stove.
She was making boiled eggs for breakfast.
He walked in.
Their eyes met…
She looked at him.
“Make love to me, here, right now!” she said.
They made love on the kitchen table.
“ I see, you couldn’t resist me, huh?” he said.
“ The egg timer is broken” she replied.
What a fantastic example of time management!
How would you like to achieve more with less effort in your coaching practice?
Sounds impossible?
Well, that’s what many successful coaches and their clients have been able to do by applying the powerful 80/20 Principle.
I first came across the 80/20 Principle, also known as the Pareto Rule, through a coaching conversation, and it completely transformed the way I work with clients and approach my own practice.
It’s a timeless principle of effectiveness that can be a game-changer for coaches and those they support.
What is the 80/20 Principle?The 80/20 Principle states that a small percentage of causes, inputs, or efforts often leads to the majority of results, outputs, or rewards. In other words, 80% of your outcomes come from just 20% of your activities.
For example, 80% of your clients’ breakthroughs may stem from 20% of your coaching strategies or tools. Similarly, 80% of your income might come from 20% of your clients.
This principle challenges the belief that all tasks or efforts are equally valuable. It highlights the importance of identifying and focusing on the critical few activities that drive the most significant results.
Real-Life Applications for CoachesHere’s how the 80/20 Principle can be applied to coaching:
- Prioritize Your High-Impact Coaching PracticesNot all coaching elements deliver equal value.
Reflect on which 20% of what you do in your coaching sessions consistently generates the most meaningful results for your clients.
Focus on honing and using those skills rather than trying to fix.
- Identify Your Ideal ClientsOften, a small percentage of your clients will account for the majority of your satisfaction, referrals, or revenue.
These are your “ideal clients”—the ones who are fully engaged and benefit most from your coaching.
Spend more time nurturing these relationships and less time chasing clients who may not align with your expertise.
- Streamline Your Time ManagementAs coaches, we juggle many responsibilities—coaching sessions, admin, marketing, professional development, and more.
By analyzing your day, you may find that 20% of your activities deliver 80% of your results.
For example, focusing on a single, well-crafted LinkedIn post might have more impact than hours spent on multiple platforms.
- Help Clients Apply the PrincipleThe 80/20 Principle isn’t just for you; it’s a powerful framework for your clients.
Many clients feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tasks and responsibilities they face.
By asking them ” what 20% of your actions delivers 80% of your desired outcomes?'” you can help them achieve greater clarity and better results.
Ready for a Practical Exercise?If you want to start leveraging the 80/20 Principle, take stock of how you’re currently allocating your time.
- Keep a log of your activities for a week.
- Then, identify which ones drive the most value for your coaching practice or personal development.
- These are your “critical 20%.”
- Now, imagine what would happen if you spent more of your energy on those high-value activities.
- Could you achieve more with less stress?
- Could your clients see faster progress by focusing on fewer, higher-impact goals?
The 80/20 Principle is a simple yet profound shift in thinking.
As a coach, it helps you do what you do best—maximising your impact whilst minimising wasted effort.
The question is: are you focusing on your top 20%?
If not, what would change if you did?
Until next time,
with best wishes ofr your success
Cath
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Imagine being presented with the most decadent dessert—layers of rich chocolate ganache, dark mousse, fudge, and a drizzle of syrup.
It’s indulgent, sure, but after a few bites, it’s just… too much.
What started as pure delight quickly turns into overwhelm.
As coaches, we risk creating this same sensation in our work—what I call “death by coaching overload.”
It happens when we pile on too many tools, techniques, or ideas all at once, leaving ourselves and our clients drowning in a sea of good intentions.
When Coaching Becomes Overly Rich
Coaching is a skill, an art, and a passion. And as passionate coaches, we’re eager to bring everything we know to the table.
We’ve mastered models, frameworks, and strategies.
We’ve seen the transformative power of deep, meaningful questions.
So, naturally, we want to share it all—like serving every chocolate dessert on the menu at once.
But here’s the thing : too much of a good thing can become counterproductive.
Clients can become overwhelmed, struggling to process or implement the wisdom we’re so excited to offer.
And as coaches, we can end up feeling exhausted, constantly trying to juggle all the “extras” instead of simply being present.
The Need for Simplicity
Great coaching doesn’t rely on complexity—it thrives on simplicity.
A single, meaningful question can spark insight more powerfully than a flurry of frameworks.
A focused session can drive transformation more effectively than layering in multiple approaches.
This isn’t about holding back; it’s about refining.
It’s about trusting in the coaching process and understanding that less can truly be more.
Signs You Might Be Serving Too Much ChocolateIf you’re wondering whether you’ve fallen into the “too much” trap, here are some tell-tale signs:
•You leave sessions mentally drained, having tried to cram in multiple models or techniques.
•Your client seems confused, disengaged, or overly reliant on you for direction.
•You feel pressure to prove your value by showing off all you know.
Sound familiar? If so, it’s time to step back and reassess.
How to Simplify Without Sacrificing Impact###### 1.Go Back to Basics
Focus on listening deeply and being fully present.
Often, the most profound breakthroughs come from creating space for the client to explore.
2.Let Go of the Need to Get It Right
There is no such thing as the “right” question.
If you are genuinely curious about your client the question you ask will be the most appropriate one in that moment.
3.Trust Your Intuition
You don’t need to have the “perfect “question ready at all times.
Trust yourself, trust the coaching process and trust your client.
4. Reflect on the Session
After a session, ask yourself:
Did I give space for the client to process?
Where was I tempted to give advice?
The Sweet Spot of CoachingThe most successful coaching isn’t like a towering chocolate extravaganza—it’s more like a perfectly balanced dessert.
Enough richness to feel indulgent, but light enough to leave the client energized and eager for more.
So, as you continue in your practice, consider this:
Are you creating an experience that nourishes and uplifts, or are you unintentionally overwhelming with too much chocolate?
Because when you find that balance, both you and your clients will savour every bite!
until next time,
with best wishes for your success
Cath
The post Death by Chocolate: A Coach’s Perspective appeared first on Cath Daley.
As many others are doing, I’m taking a break for two weeks over the holiday period to reflect, rest and replenish.
This time of year seems to provide us with a natural pause – to take stock as well as to celebrate our successes, recalibrate where we are and reconnect with the things that matter most to us.
While Christmas can be a joyful season, it can also present many challenges- frazzled relationships, increased demands on our time and sometimes a nagging sense that we’re not quite measuring up — to others’ expectations, to our own lofty standards, or simply to the image of the “perfect Christmas” that we see in every TV and social media advert.
But what if we approached this season through a coaching lens instead?
Here are 5 ways to use a coaching lens this festive season.1. Pause and Reflect: What’s the Story You’re Telling YourselfIn coaching, we help people explore their internal narratives, the stories they’re telling themselves.
The festive period is fertile ground for these stories, some of which can be limiting:
- “I need to make this Christmas perfect.”
- “I have to get everything right for everyone else.”
- “I should feel joyful, even when I’m overwhelmed.”
These stories can easily drain the joy from the season.
This Christmas, try pausing to ask yourself:
What’s the story I’m telling myself about this holiday?
Is it serving me, or could I rewrite it?
Awareness is the first step toward change.
What if your story became:
“I choose to create moments of joy where I can”
or “I give myself permission to celebrate in a way that feels right for me”?
By shifting the narrative, you give yourself space to experience the season authentically.
2. Give the Gift of PresenceIn the rush to find the perfect presents, we sometimes forget the power of presence.
One of the greatest gifts you can offer — to your family, your colleagues, your friends — is the kind of presence that coaching develops.
Presence means being in the moment and truly listening, with curiosity and without judgment, rather than jumping in with your opinion or rushing it because you are mentally ticking off tasks that you still have to do.
This Christmas, try bringing a coaching mindset to your conversations:
- Listen actively to understand first, before replying.
- Stay curious and sk open-ended questions that invite people to share more.
- Be fully present with the person – put down your phone, slow down and let the moment unfold.
You might be surprised by how much more connected you feel when you’re truly present.
3. Reflect on Your Year: What’s Worth Celebrating?As a coach I encourage my to acknowledge their successes — big and small.
The end of the year is a natural time for reflection.
- What milestones did you achieve this year?
- What challenges did you navigate?
- What moments made you proud?
Even if this year hasn’t gone as planned, there’s always growth to acknowledge.
Taking time to celebrate your progress, compared to where you were at the beginning of the year, can shift your mindset from “not enough” to “more than enough.”
Try this simple exercise:
- List three things you achieved this year that you’re proud of.
- List three challenges you overcame or learned from.
- Reflect on one way you surprised yourself this year.
This practice of acknowledgment and celebration is powerful for your continued personal and professional growth.
4. Revisit Your Values: What Matters Most This Season?In coaching it is often useful to think about values. These are the things that are most important to us, that drive our motivation.
When life gets hectic and we feel frazzled we can lose sight of what truly matters to us. Christmas is a perfect time to revisit your values and ask yourself:
- What’s truly important to me during this season?
- What can I let go of because it doesn’t really matter?
- How can I align my actions with those values?
Perhaps your values are about connection, simplicity, generosity, or self-care.
Once you’ve identified them, let them guide your choices.
If simplicity is a value, give yourself permission to scale back on the excess.
If connection is key, prioritise time with those who energise and uplift you.
5. Set an Intention for the New YearAs we move toward the new year, consider setting an intention rather than a rigid resolution. Coaching is about intentionality — making conscious choices rather than falling into default patterns.
Rather than focusing on what is wrong or what needs fixing….
Ask yourself these questions
- What do I want more of in my life?
- How do I want to grow?
Whether it’s more balance, more courage, or more joy, let that intention guide you as you step into 2025.
A Season of Coaching and Kindness
Ultimately, Christmas can be a time of deep personal reflection and connection.
By approaching it with a coaching mindset, you’re not only giving yourself the gift of self-awareness, presence, and growth — you’re also sharing that with those around you.
Here’s to a season of meaningful moments, authentic connections, and the kind of joy that comes from living true to yourself.
Happy Christmas!
until next time.
Best wishes
Cath
P.S.
The post Christmas Through a Coaching Lens appeared first on Cath Daley.
The Christmas pressure is already starting to build……
Are you feeling overwhelmed sitting looking at your to-do list and not knowing where to start?
It can be an exhausting time of year right now because there seem to be so many things you have to think about.
The list can seem endless….
how to clear your desk before Christmas
maybe organize the staff party
as well as doing the Christmas shopping
sorting out the tree
taking the children to see Father Christmas
wrapping the presents
getting the house clean
doing the food shopping
going to the school carol concert or nativity play
writing and sending the cards
…and lots more I haven’t mentioned!
And there never seems to be enough time to do it all.
The problem is that the more overwhelmed you get, the more ineffective you are at dealing with it. It becomes a vicious circle.
It can be an exhausting time of year right now because there seem to be so many things you have to think about……
You can end up feeling exhausted before you even start.
And the problem is that the more overwhelmed you get, the more ineffective you are at dealing with it. It becomes a vicious circle.
(If you’re not sure whether or not you’re heading for overwhelm you can check out The 6 Danger Signs here.)
Now much as I would like to, I can’t do the Christmas shopping for you, or wrap the presents or cook your dinner….
but what I can do instead is help you to reduce the stress because the earlier you start to do this the more stress free your Christmas will be.
Here are 7 steps to help you start to get out of overwhelm and reduce your stress1. Stop and recognize it’s OK
Just stop what you are doing and recognize it’s OK to be overwhelmed. Its perfectly normal to be overwhelmed and stressed when you have all this stuff going on.Give yourself a break! Accept you’re not at your best and recognize it’s fine that you’re not.
2. Change your state
Stand up, go for a walk outside, have a cappuccino in a local cafe, listen to a piece of music that makes you feel good, do deep breathing for 5 mins, do a mindfulness exercise, do F.L.O.W. (if you know that process). It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you change your state.
3. Write it all out
Take a piece of paper and write it all out- everything that you have to do, everything that is competing for your attention in as much detail as you can.
4. Delete and Delegate
Look at each item on your list and ask yourself “What’s the worst thing that would happen if it didn’t get done?”
and if it’s not serious then delete it from your list. This doesn’t mean it will never get done, it’s just not a priority right now.
For those items that remain ask your self “Who else could do it instead of me?” and then delegate the ones that someone else could do.
This will leave the items that only you, and nobody else on the entire planet, can do.
5. Prioritize
Refocus on why you are doing all this anyway and then prioritize the order in which you will do the things that only you can do.
6. Replenish
Take time out to replenish your energy. This can be as simple as repeating step 2 or of you do this at home, go and have a nice relaxing bath, put your feet up with a cup of tea- whatever it is that will make you feel more energized.
7. Take action
You will have heard the old adage – how do you eat an elephant? – one bite at a time.
So take action on that first bite. Reward yourself for having accomplished it.
Then rinse and repeat!
Here’s to a stress free Christmas!
Cath
P.S. I am offering 5, no obligation, Christmas Overwhelm Rescue Sessionsin the next couple of weeks. I promise 100% that I won’t try to sell you anything!
It will be me coaching you to get out of the overwhelm because I like to give something back especially at this time of year.
So if you want help to make overwhelm a thing of the past, to stop having to keep the plates spinning (or balls in the air) and want a way of making your life easier and stress free in 2025 then click here to book one of the sessions.
It might just be the best early Christmas present you could give yourself …….
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The post 7 Steps to a Stress-free Christmas! appeared first on Cath Daley.
I know that may sound like a daft question! Of course you are using your voice- you do it all the time.
But exactly how are you using it?
Are you using it consciously to enhance your coaching and leadership or are you completely unaware of it?
Your voice is one of the most valuable and powerful tools you have as a coach and leader.
And it is often overlooked.
It’s not just what we say to clients that matters, but how we say it.
As a coach your voice tonality carries a great deal of emotional weight, intention and nuance.
It shapes how our messages are received and how clients respond.
In a relationship built on trust, rapport and open communication your voice tonality can be the key to unlocking a deeper connection and more effective coaching outcomes.
Here are some of the ways that your tonailty impacts your coaching …..Creating a Safe Space for Your ClientAs coaches one of our primary responsibilities is to create a safe, supportive space where clients feel comfortable to explore their thoughts and emotions.
A calm, steady voice helps establish an atmosphere of trust and relaxation, signalling to the client that they’re in a space where they won’t be judged and where they can feel safe to open up.
If your tone is rushed or a bit abrupt it can unintentionally imply impatience or irritation, even if the words themselves are kind or neutral.
When there is a mismatch between your tone and the words you use it gets in way of effective coaching.
When we’re dealing with sensitive topics—be it personal fears, limiting beliefs, or challenging professional situations— your tonality can be the difference between a client feeling supported and one who feels dismissed.
Conveying Empathy and UnderstandingEmpathy is at the heart of every successful coaching relationship and our tone of voice is one of the most effective ways to express it.
It’s not just about saying, “I hear you,” it’s about the feeling behind it.
A gentle, reflective tone signals that we truly understand not just the words our client is saying but the emotions behind them.
It’s this level of understanding that helps a client feel seen and validated.
When a client is going through something difficult or emotional, adjusting your tone to mirror the sensitivity of the situation shows that you’re present with them in that moment.
If they’re upset, a calm and reassuring tone helps ground them.
If they’re excited about an idea or success, matching their energy with a more animated tone demonstrates alignment.
These subtle shifts build rapport and foster a deeper connection, showing the client that we’re fully in tune with their experience.
Enhancing Active ListeningWe all know that active listening is a critical skill in coaching, but it’s not just about staying quiet or offering a well-placed “I see.”
The tone we use when responding or encouraging a client to continue can signal our level of engagement.
A slight inflection when acknowledging a client’s point can let them know we’re following along and that we care about what they’re saying.
For instance, simply saying “I understand” in a flat tone won’t have the same impact as saying it with warmth and genuine curiosity.
Clients are more likely to open up and dive deeper into their thoughts when they feel we’re actively engaged in the conversation and our voice plays a big part in communicating that.
In this way, your tonality enhances active listening, helping you to support the client without disrupting their flow.
Challenging Your Client with CuriosityCoaching is about more than listening.
We also have a responsibility to challenge our clients, sometimes helping them see things from a new perspective.
Your tone of voice can influence this process in a way that feels supportive rather than confrontational.
When you use a curious tonality you can help your client to explore their model of the world, their limiting beliefs, what is keeping them stuck etc. without them becoming defensive.
Building Confidence and MotivationOne of the most rewarding parts of coaching is helping clients find their own confidence and motivation.
The way we use your voice can play a big role in this.
A voice that is warm, enthusiastic and confident can inspire the same feelings in our clients.
When we communicate with conviction and positivity, it can encourage clients to believe in themselves and their abilities.
When we believe in our clients and express that belief through our voice, they’re much more likely to believe in themselves too.
Your tone can act as a mirror for their potential and when done well, it can increase their motivation and self-belief.
The Power of Silence and TonalityEven silence in coaching has a tone and how we prepare for those silences can make a huge difference.
Before a moment of pause, a soft, inviting tone can signal to the client that they don’t need to rush to respond, that it’s okay to sit with their thoughts for a moment. Managing silence in this way makes it a tool for reflection rather than an uncomfortable gap in the conversation.
Final Thoughts and My Challenge for YouVoice tonality is an often underappreciated aspect of coaching but it plays a huge role in shaping the overall client experience.
How we use our voice can build rapport, deepen trust, convey empathy and help clients achieve breakthroughs and insights.
It’s a skill that, when developed, can increase the impact of your coaching and create more meaningful connections with your clients.
As coaches, we’re always seeking ways to be more effective in helping our clients achieve their goals.
By paying closer attention to how we use our voice—not just the words we say—we can elevate the coaching experience and help clients feel more supported, understood, and empowered.
My challenge for you is in your next coaching session notice how you are using your voice and become more aware of the effect it is having.
Maybe play with it a bit and vary what you do and make the most of the power you have in your voice!
Until next Time
Cath
P.S. This is one of the areas we explore in my ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme.
You can find out more about the programme by clicking here
The post Are You Using Your Voice? appeared first on Cath Daley.
How do you feel about using metaphors in your coaching?
I absolutely love it when one of my coaching clients uses a metaphor!
I ask if they would like to have some fun exploring it and when we do it inevitably leads to faster, more powerful and deeper transformations.Many of the coaches I mentor are nervous of working with metaphors because sometimes they don’t recognise them and even if they do, they are not sure what to do with them.
This means they miss great opportunities to go deeper with a client in a way that feels more natural and comfortable.It’s why it is one of the things we cover on my Coach Development and Mentoring Programme because it is such a powerful skill to develop as a coach and it is recognised as such by being included in the ICF Core Competency 7; Evokes Awareness.
Metaphors offer a creative and transformative way to help clients explore their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Working with metaphors allows clients to see their situations from a fresh perspective, unlocking new insights and pathways for growth.
Understanding Metaphors in CoachingA metaphor is a figure of speech that involves comparing one thing to another, often unrelated, thing.
For example, a client might describe a challenging project as “climbing a mountain,” or refer to a relationship as a “journey.”
In coaching these comparisons are very useful because they tap into the client’s imagination and emotions, creating vivid mental images that resonate on a deeper level.
This resonance can help clients articulate feelings or ideas that might be difficult to express in literal terms.
Moreover, metaphors can simplify complex issues, making them easier to discuss and explore during coaching sessions.
The Benefits of Using Metaphors in CoachingMetaphors offer several distinct advantages in a coaching context:
- Enhanced Understanding:
Metaphors bridge the gap between abstract concepts and concrete experiences.
For example, a client struggling with work-life balance might feel overwhelmed and talk about “juggling too many balls”.
Exploring the client’s metaphor by asking questions such as “what do the balls represent?”, “what happens if you drop them?”, “which balls can you let go of?” help the client to better understand their situation and what they can do to reduce their stress.
- Emotional Connection:
Metaphors often evoke strong emotions, which can deepen the coaching conversation.
A metaphor like “feeling stuck in quicksand” not only describes a situation but can be used to explore the feelings and emotions associated with it and where they come from thus creating awareness on a deeper level.
- Creative Problem-Solving:
Metaphors encourage clients to think outside the box.
By framing a problem in metaphorical terms, clients can explore alternative solutions that might not have been apparent through a more literal approach.
For example, if a client sees their career as a “path through a dense forest,” you might ask what tools (skills) or maps (plans) they need to find their way.
- Clarity and Focus:
Metaphors can distill a complex issue into a single, coherent image, making it easier for clients to focus on the core of the problem.
When a client describes a situation like “navigating stormy seas” it expresses their feelings of uncertainty and challenge in a way that feels manageable and clear with you helping them to identify what they need to find their way- e.g. compass.
- Facilitation of Change:
Metaphors can also serve as powerful motivators for change.
If a client sees their personal growth as “planting a garden,” they may feel inspired to nurture their development, just as they would care for plants.
This metaphor can provide a framework for discussing the time, effort and patience needed for personal transformation.
How to Use Metaphors Effectively in CoachingWhile metaphors are a valuable tool, their effectiveness depends on how they are used.
Here are some strategies for tapping into the power of metaphors in your coaching:
Listen for Client Metaphors:
Clients often use metaphors naturally in conversation and these provide valuable insights into their mindset.
For example, if a client says they feel like they’re “spinning their wheels,” explore this metaphor further by asking “What does spinning their wheels mean to them?”,”What might help them gain traction?”etc.
By exploring the client’s metaphor you can help your them develop deeper understanding and greater awareness.
Ask Permission to Explore
If you as coach introduce a metaphor, it’s important to ask your client’s permission first and then ensure it resonates with the client.
If a metaphor feels forced or doesn’t align with the client’s experience, it can hinder rather than help the conversation.
Pay attention to your client’s reactions and be prepared to adjust or abandon a metaphor if it isn’t working.
Co-Create Metaphors:
Sometimes, the most powerful metaphors are those created collaboratively between you and your client.
By working together to develop a metaphor that captures the client’s experience, you engage the client more fully and also ensure the metaphor is meaningful and relevant.
For instance, if a client is facing a significant life transition, you might ask, “If you were to describe this phase of your life as a journey, what would the expereince be like for you?”
Expand on Metaphors:
This is one of my favourite things to do with a client metaphor!
Once a client introduces metaphor you can play with it- with the client’s permission- to expand and explore it further.
For example, if a client describes their work environment as a “pressure cooker,” you could ask questions like, “What ingredients are in the pressure cooker?” ” How do you release the pressure?”
Expanding on the metaphor can help the client explore different facets of their situation and consider new perspectives.
Use Visual Aids:
I find these useful with clients who are strong visually.
Asking them to represent the metaphor as a drawing or diagram or find images that represent it can make it much more powerful for them.
For instance, if a client is working with the metaphor of “crossing a bridge” and you know they have a strong visual preference you might ask them “what would happen if you were to represent it visually?” ” how would you do that?” ” what lies on either side of the bridge?” and “what challenges would you face in crossing it?”
Potential Pitfalls and How to Avoid ThemWhile metaphors can be incredibly useful there are potential pitfalls to be aware of:
Misalignment:
A metaphor that doesn’t align with the client’s experience can lead to confusion or frustration. It’s important to get your client’s permisssion to explore and to gauge your client’s response and be ready to pivot if the metaphor doesn’t resonate.
Over-Reliance:
While metaphors are powerful less is more.
Overusing or relying too heavily on metaphors can sometimes obscure the issue rather than clarify it.
Aim to balance your use of metaphors with direct conversation.
Cultural Sensitivity:
Metaphors can be culturally specific, so
What works well for one client might not resonate with another from a different cultural context.
In conclusion……Metaphors are more than just a linguistic tool—they are a gateway to deeper understanding and transformation in coaching.
By skillfully using metaphors you can help your clients to see their challenges and opportunities in new ways, making the abstract tangible and the complex understandable. Whether used to clarify a situation, evoke emotions, or inspire action, metaphors have the potential to unlock profound insights, create deeper awareness and drive meaningful change.
Incorporating metaphors into your coaching practice not only enriches the conversation but also empowers clients to navigate their personal and professional lives with greater clarity and confidence.
By developing your ability to work you can facilitate transformative experiences that lead to lasting growth and success.
P.S. If you want to find out more about how my Coach Development and Mentoring Programme can help you to increase your skills as a coach then let’s have a conversation!
Click here to book a call with me.
The post How to Use Metaphors to Produce Faster and More Powerful Transformations for Your Coaching Clients appeared first on Cath Daley.
When coaches first embark on their professional journeys, especially those aiming for the International Coaching Federation (ICF) credentials, finding a mentor coach can seem like just another box to tick.
It’s a necessary part of the process for anyone pursuing an ACC, PCC, or MCC credential and it’s easy to see mentor coaching as a finite relationship—a stepping stone to certification.
However I believe that a coach mentor is for life, not just for the credentialing process.
And here are 7 reasons why…..
- Continual Learning and GrowthLike any other profession coaching evolves.
The way we understand human behavior, leadership, communication and emotional intelligence is constantly developing and growing which means that as coaches we need to stay ahead of the curve.
A mentor coach, particularly one who has walked the path you’re on, can help you to continue to grow even after you’ve attained your credential.
ICF defines mentoring as partnering with another coach for the purpose of professional development. The role of the mentor coach is not just to prepare you for your credential but to support your continuous growth. This might mean helping you refine techniques, think more critically about your coaching practice, or even explore new areas of coaching that you hadn’t previously considered.
A coach mentor, post-credentialing, becomes someone who offers objective insight into your coaching style and the way you’re evolving.
This reflection is essential for ensuring that you don’t stagnate or become complacent in your practice. Through ongoing mentor coaching, you remain a curious learner—sharpening your skills, broadening your awareness and deepening your impact on your clients.
- Keeping Accountability AliveOne of the unique benefits of mentor coaching is the built-in accountability.
We all know how important accountability is for our clients, but how often do we, as coaches, create accountability for ourselves?
The coaching world can feel isolating at times, especially if you run your own business or work as a solopreneur.
A mentor coach can provide a consistent presence who will challenge you, ask you the hard questions and hold you to your commitments in ways that self-discipline sometimes can’t.
Mentorship offers a safe space for ongoing feedback and discussion about your coaching practice, your client relationships and the challenges you face.
It provides a safe space of trust where you can explore ideas, reflect on difficult sessions and hold yourself accountable to the high standards that you expect from yourself.
Without this type of support coaches can find themselves slipping into habits that no longer serve them or their clients.
- Supporting You Through Career TransitionsThe coaching journey isn’t linear and career transitions are inevitable.
Whether it’s shifting your niche, expanding into a new market, or taking on leadership roles within organizations, a coach’s role evolves.
A mentor coach provides not only technical expertise in coaching but can also give career guidance and perspective that you can’t always get from peers or business consultants.
Your mentor coach will understand the intricacies of the coaching profession in ways that someone outside of the field might not. They can help you navigate tricky professional decisions—whether it’s setting fees, deciding whether to offer group coaching, or managing a particularly challenging client.
A mentor who understands your journey and history will be able to offer guidance that’s more specific and nuanced than what you’d get elsewhere.
- Enhancing Self-Reflection and ConfidenceAs coaches, we are often in the position of asking powerful questions and facilitating deep reflection for our clients.
But who does this for us?
A good mentor coach will continually ask you to reflect on your own practice, your values and how you show up in your coaching relationships.
This self-reflection can be a powerful tool for developing both your confidence and competence as a coach.
Self-awareness is a cornerstone of effective coaching and a mentor coach serves as a mirror, reflecting back things you may not see.
They can highlight areas where you’re excelling, identify blind spots, and challenge assumptions you didn’t even know you had.
This level of support builds confidence—confidence in your abilities, in your intuition and in the unique way you bring value to your clients.
- Evolving the Coach-Client RelationshipThe relationship between a coach and their clients is dynamic and as you grow, the way you engage with your clients will change.
Having a mentor coach means that you’re consistently developing your ability to serve your clients better. This might mean refining your questioning techniques, expanding your emotional intelligence, or learning new models of coaching.
A mentor coach can help you explore new perspectives and techniques that keep you adaptable and innovative.
They provide a sounding board for the challenges you encounter with clients, offering advice on how to handle situations in ways that align with your personal style while upholding the ethical guidelines of coaching.
As you grow, your clients will benefit from the freshness and depth you bring to your coaching sessions.
- Preventing BurnoutThe role of a coach can be emotionally taxing, especially when working with clients in high-stakes situations or dealing with complex issues.
Without proper support it’s easy to experience burnout. Having a mentor coach you trust can be a vital part of your self-care as a professional. They offer a space to decompress, share the emotional load and navigate the stressors of the job.
Through mentorship you also develop stronger boundaries and gain insights into how to maintain a healthy balance between personal and professional life. This is crucial in preventing burnout and ensuring that you remain present, energized and effective for your clients over time.
- Building a Legacy and ImpactFinally, working with a coach mentor for life can help you build a lasting legacy in the coaching profession.
It’s a two-way street—the more you invest in your ongoing relationship with a mentor, the more you can give back, not just to your clients, but to the coaching community as a whole.
Over time, you may even find yourself in the position of becoming a mentor to other coaches, contributing to the cycle of learning and development that enriches the entire profession.
In conclusion: The Mentor Relationship as a Lifelong AssetWhile it’s tempting to see a mentor coach as a requirement for achieving your ICF credentials, the reality is that this relationship is one of the most valuable, ongoing assets you can have throughout your coaching career.
This is why I run two different types of longer term Mentoring Programmes in addition to the Coach Development and Mentoring Programme designed to help you achieve your ICF Credential.
There is an on-going 1-2-1 Personal Mentoring Programme and the group programme of Cath’s Coaching Circles.
As a great Coach Mentor I help you to stay fresh, sharp, accountable and supported through every stage of your professional journey as a coach.
Instead of considering a coach mentor as a means to an end, think about embracing them as a partner for life—someone who will guide, challenge, and inspire you long after the credential certificate is framed on the wall.
Until next time,
with best wishes for your success
Cath
P.S. If you want to find out more about either the Coach Development and Mentoring Programme, the Personal Mentoring Programme or Cath’s Coaching Circles
then let’s have a conversation! Click here to book a call.
The post Why Coach Mentoring is for life and not just your ICF Credential appeared first on Cath Daley.
September always feels like a fresh start for me.
For years, it was marked by the rhythm of going back to school.
First of all as a pupil – getting my new uniform, a new pencil case, new timetable.
Then as a student at university – starting a new semester, new courses, new lecturers.
And for a long time as a teacher- with new students, new exam classes, new challenges.
Now in my business – new planning, new goals, new clients.
Many people set their year ahead in January but September has always been my professional “New Year”.
The sense of renewal of a new school year can be one of the most powerful tools for continuous growth, both personally and professionally.
Coaching others is about helping people unlock their potential and as coaches we need to keep evolving ourselves.
Whether it’s expanding our coaching toolkit, exploring different perspectives or deepening our expertise we owe it to our clients to continue learning.
And September is the perfect time to reflect on our own growth and ask:
- What do I need to learn next?
- How can I stay curious and engaged?
- What new challenges can I take on this season?
As a Coach Mentor, I often see how coaches who embrace this mindset of ongoing learning stay ahead of the curve.
They don’t just rely on what they already know – they actively seek out new opportunities for development, whether that’s by pursuing a new qualification like an ICF Credential, working with a Coach Mentor or simply setting aside time to reflect and plan.
They turn learning into a daily habit, recognizing that it’s not just about filling gaps but about unlocking new potential.
Here are a few ways you can “go back to school” this September:###### 1. Set New Learning Intentions
Take a moment to think about how you want to grow this year.
Maybe there’s an area of coaching expertise you’ve been meaning to explore or you want to take your coaching skills to a higher level.
Set a clear intention and commit to making space for learning regularly.
2. Seek Out Feedback
Growth doesn’t happen in a vacuum.
Ask for feedback from coaching clients, a Coach Mentor or peer coaches that you trust.
Honest insights can point us to where our blind spots are and help us see what we need to work on.
3. Enrol in a Virtual Programme
Consider doing a new Coach Development Programme that will challenge you and support you in equal measure.
4. Surround Yourself with Learners
Learning is contagious!
Spend time with a Coach Mentor or a personal coach or peer coaches who will push you to think differently, challenge you to grow and support your development.
A group of like-minded coaches will keep you motivated and inspire you to continue your learning journey.
5. Reflect on Past Lessons
Sometimes learning is about revisiting the lessons we’ve already learned and asking ourselves, “How can I apply this now?”
September is a great time to reflect on the progress you’ve made so far and consider how past experiences have shaped you.
For me, as an ICF MCC Coach and Coach Mentor, this is a time to reflect on how I can best support other coaches in their learning journeys, while continuing my own.
Whether it’s through mentoring other coaches or diving into the latest research in coach development, I know that staying curious and constantly growing is essential to success.
Every September gives us a chance to embrace that “back to school” feeling — to open ourselves up to new possibilities, fresh ideas and continued growth.
What’s your learning intention for this season?
I’d love to hear what you’re working on!
Until next time,
with best wishes for your success,
Cath
P.S. If you want to find out more about how my 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗗𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗺𝗲 will take your coaching skills to the next level then click here to have a chat.
The post Back to School: A September Reflection on Lifelong Learning as a Coach appeared first on Cath Daley.
What is your Coaching Confidence Like?
How confident are you as a coach?
Confidence as a coach isn’t about having all the answers.
I think it’s about 3 things-
- trust in your abilities
- a deep commitment to your clients’ growth
- belief in the coaching process
So how do you develop these?
Firstly…..
I think that first and foremost it’s about education and experience.
You get to be a great coach by coaching! and when that is backed up with Coach Mentoring, supervision, being part of a peer coaching group and continuing to grow and develop your coaching skills, the confidence follows.
As an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) with years of practice under my belt, I’ve honed my skills through rigorous education, supervision, mentorship and continuous professional development.
This foundation equips me with the knowledge and expertise necessary to help my clients create transformational change.
But confidence as a coach goes way beyond qualifications.
Secondly ….
It’s about how you approach the coaching process.
Approaching coaching with a sense of humility, recognizing that each client is unique and has amazing potential, helps you to work together in partnership.
It is rooted in authenticity. When you show up as your genuine self, bringing empathy, compassion and vulnerability to every coaching session you invite your clients to do the same. This creates a deep sense of connection and trust.
Coming with an open mind and being willing to learn from your clients helps to create a safe and non-judgmental space where clients feel empowered to explore their challenges, dreams and aspirations.
When you believe in your clients’ innate wisdom and potential it allows you to hold space for your clients’ growth, even in the face of uncertainty or resistance.
By asking powerful questions, actively listening and staying focused on the clients’ needs, you can be flexible in your approach and meet them where they are.
Coaching isn’t always smooth sailing—there are challenges, setbacks and moments of doubt along the way.
When you are fully committed to your clients’ growth and well-being you develop the resilience and confidence to emerge stronger and more capable with each coaching experience.
Thirdly…..
From my own experience and that of the hundreds of clients I have coached over the years I believe passionately in the transformative power of coaching, knowing that profound change can happen when people are given the support they need. I feel profoundly grateful to work in partnership with my clients to help them create awareness, deal with challenges and flourish.
In conclusion……
How confident am I as a coach?
I am confident in my training, experience and abilities.
I am confident in the transformative power of coaching.
I am confident in my authenticity, resilience and commitment to my clients’ growth.
I am confident in the profound impact that coaching can have on individuals, organizations and communities.
Ultimately, my confidence as a coach is grounded in a deep sense of purpose and passion for what I do.
And that confidence fuels my passion for coaching, driving me to continually strive for excellence and make a positive difference in the world—one coaching session at a time.
Until next time,
Best wishes,
Cath
P.S. Developing your coaching confidence is a big part of my Coach Development and Mentoring Programme. If you’d like to have a chat about how it can help you be a more confident coach then click here to schedule a call.
The post What is Coaching Confidence? appeared first on Cath Daley.
I first became aware of “Mindfulness” as a thing over 10 years ago now and it became a daily process for me to reduce my stress.
But over the years I’ve realised that it has been invaluable for me as a coach.
I use it as part of my preparation for a coaching session.
It makes me more effective and resilent and better able to help my clients get the transformations they want.
Thinking about how it makes a difference for me ……..
Here are 12 ways Mindfulness helps you be a better coach:###### 1. Presence
Mindfulness allows you to be fully present in the moment with your clients and develop trust and rapport whilst enhancing your listening skills and empathy.
2. Managing Emotions
You are better able to manage your own emotions, staying calm and grounded during challenging coaching sessions.
3. Developing Non-Judgement
Mindfulness encourages you to suspend judgement and helps you to create a safe space for your clients to explore without fear of criticism.
4. Self-Awareness
Through Mindfulness you gain insight into your own thoughts, feelings, and biases which leads to greater self-awareness and reflection.
5. Resilience
Mindfulness practices build resilience, helping you to bounce back from setbacks and deal with challenges with grace.
6. Self-Compassion
Mindfulness encourages you to treat yourself with kindness and self-compassion rather than self-crticism.
7. Patience
Mindfulness cultivates your patience which allows your clients the time and space they need to explore and grow at their own pace.
8. Acceptance
Mindfulness teaches you to accept things as they are, helping you to develop a non-reactive approach to coaching.
9. Flexibility
You become more adaptable and flexible in your approach and better able to respond to your client’s needs.
10. Gratitude
Practicing gratitude enhances your appreciation for your clients’ progress, strengths and challenges.
11. Intuition
When you learn to trust your intuition and inner wisdom you let go of the need to be right and become comfortable with not knowing.
12. Interconnectedness
Mindfulness deepens your awareness of the interconnectedness of everything, caring for your clients and the world.
Making Mindfulness part of my practice has made a huge difference for me – both personally and professionally.
It has enhanced my effectiveness and well-being and made me a better coach.
Why not try it as part of your practice and see what happens?because
” You can be at your best when you have nothing on your mind”
Until next time,Best wishesCathP.S. Becoming a better coach is the focus of my Coach Development and Mentoring Programme. Why not book a chat with me to find out more?Click here to schedule a call.The post 12 Ways Mindfulness Helps You Be a Better Coach appeared first on Cath Daley.
You may, or may not, have thought about working with your own Coach Mentor.
Over the years I have worked with many, some good, and to be honest, some not good at all!
But when I found a great Coach Mentor, working with them was one of the best decisons I have ever made.
It accelerated both my personal and professional growth and made a huge difference for me.
Here are just 10 of the benefits….
1. Emotional SupportOne of the most profound benefits of having a great Coach Mentor is the emotional support they provide.
Working as a coach, either in your own business or as an internal coach, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and isolated.
A great Coach Mentor offers a safe space to express worries, fears, and frustrations.
This emotional support is crucial for maintaining mental well-being and resilience, enabling you to navigate your role with greater clarity and calmness.
- Enhanced Self-AwarenessSelf-awareness is a cornerstone of developing coaching mastery.
A great Coach Mentor facilitates deep reflection, helping you to gain realisations and insights into your coaching strengths and behavioral patterns.
Through dynamic feedback, you can identify areas for improvement and build on your strengths.
This enhanced self-awareness is not only beneficial for your personal growth but also improves your coaching relationships.
- Objective PerspectiveA great Coach Mentor provides an objective viewpoint, free from the biases and preconceptions that can cloud judgment.
This external perspective helps you to see coaching situations from different angles and encourages innovative thinking
- Skill DevelopmentTailored guidance from a great Coach Mentor can significantly enhance specific coaching skills.
A great Coach Mentor offers practical advice and often shares advanced coaching techniques that take your coaching skills to the next level.
-
ChallengeA great Coach Mentor will challenge you in a supportive way to take you to the edge of your comfort zone which is where all new learning happens so that you grow as a coach and as a person.
-
Increased ConfidenceRegular interaction with a great Coach Mentor boosts your self-confidence.
By providing constructive feedback and recognizing achievements, a great Coach Mentor help you build a strong sense of self-worth.
This increased confidence empowers you to take on new challenges, assume greater responsibilities, and make bold decisions without fear of failure.
-
FocusA great Coach Mentor helps you to maintain focus and motivation. When you get off track they bring you back to what’s important for you as a coach so that you get unstuck easily.
-
Resilience BuildingResilience is a critical trait for coaches.
Through shared experiences and practical advice, a great Coach Mentor helps you to build that resilience.
Learning how to bounce back from perceived failures, manage your stress and stay positive is essential for your sustained success as a coach.
- Business DevelopmentNavigating the development of your coaching business can be daunting.
A great Coach Mentor can offer invaluable advice, helping you to set realistic goals, identify opportunities for gaining new clients and make informed decisions about your coaching business, all of which accelerate your success.
- Holistic DevelopmentWorking with a great Coach Mentor provides you with professional development and also encourages your personal growth as a coach.
They help you achieve a balanced life, promoting your well-being and emotional intelligence.
By fostering a growth mindset and encouraging continuous learning, a great Coach Mentor contributes to your development in a holistic way ensuring you thrive both professionally and personally.
In Conclusion……The benefits of having a great Coach Mentor are multifaceted and deeply impactful.
Emotional support and enhanced self-awareness create a strong foundation for your personal and professional growth.
An objective perspective and tailored skill development ensure you are well-equipped to handle your role effectively, whether that is as an internal coach or an external freelance one.
Resilience building, increasing confidence and holistic development ensure that you are not only more effective as a coach but also enable you ro maintain a healthy work-life balance.
The transformative power of great Coach Mentorship lies in its ability to touch every aspect of your life as a coach and it creates a ripple effect that extends far beyond you- to impact teams, organizations, and communities.
As an ICF Master Certified Coach and Coach Mentor I strive to provide these benefits for my mentees to help unlock their amazing potential.
And I love it when I see them grow to become outstanding and extraordinary coaches!
But how do you choose the best mentor for you? How do you ensure that you find a great one?
In my next article I’ll share with you 6 Steps to Choosing the Right Coach Mentor for You to help you do just that.
Until next time,
best wishes
Cath
P.S. If you want to find out more about my Coach Development and Mentoring Programme and
how it works then let’s have a conversation! Click here to book a call with me.
The post Ten Powerful Benefits of Having a Great Coach Mentor appeared first on Cath Daley.
” Silence is one of the great arts of conversation” CiceroOne of the biggest challenges many coaches face is being comfortable with silence.
They think that when the client is not saying anything that they haven’t understood the question so go about trying to explain it or ask another question but that actually gets in the way.
Experienced coaches understand that silence isn’t merely an absence of sound; it’s a powerful tool that can facilitate deep introspection, insightful breakthroughs and create profound shifts in perspective for your clients.
It is part of Core Competency 5 of the ICF Core Competencies – 5.6 “Creates or allows space for silence, pause or reflection”
Silence is one of the greatest gifts that coaches can give their clients.
Here are some of the reasons why silence is truly golden for coaches: It creates a space for reflection*:
In our very busy lives, moments of silence are rare.
As a coach, when you intentionally introduce silence into your sessions, you provide your clients with a precious opportunity to pause, reflect and tap into their inner wisdom. In these quiet moments, they can sift through their thoughts and emotions, gain clarity and insights that may otherwise be missed in the “busyiness”.
- It facilitates Listening Actively:
Silence isn’t just about not speaking; it’s about listening actively.
When you remain silent, you show your clients that you’re fully present, with them, attentively absorbing what they’re saying without interruption or judgment. This encourages them to express themselves openly and honestly, knowing that they have your undivided attention. Through this deep listening, you gain valuable insights into their concerns, aspirations, and underlying motivations.
- It invites exploration of uncomfortable emotions:
Silence can be particularly powerful when your clients grapple with difficult emotions or challenging situations.
Instead of rushing to fill the gap with comforting words or solutions, you can allow the silence to linger, encouraging them to delve deeper into their feelings and explore the root causes of their discomfort. In this space of quiet reflection, they may uncover hidden beliefs, fears, or patterns that are holding them back, paving the way for profound breakthroughs and personal growth.
- It encourages self-discovery:
As a coach, our role isn’t to provide all the answers but to support our clients on a journey of self-discovery.
Silence plays a crucial part in this process by prompting them to tap into their own inner resources and intuition. By resisting the urge to fill every moment with words, you give your clients the freedom and space to explore their thoughts and emotions and find their own solutions and insights.
- It allows time for integration, consolidation and transfer:
Coaching sessions can be intense.
By incorporating moments of silence throughout the session, you allow your clients the opportunity to reflect on their new insights and how they will use them going forward. This reflective pause enables them to process their experiences more deeply, solidifying their learning and creating sustainable change beyond the coaching session.
- It provides individual pacing:
Every client is unique, with their own pace, rhythm, and preferences for processing information.
While some may thrive in dynamic, fast-paced exchanges, others may require more time and space to reflect and respond. By embracing silence as a flexible tool in your coaching toolkit, you honor the individual needs and preferences of each client, creating a safe and supportive environment for their personal growth.
In conclusion …
Silence isn’t an awkward gap to be filled but a great opportunity to create awareness for your clients to get profound insights and transformations.
Using the power of silence in your coaching practice you enable your clients to dive deep, discover their truth and create the self-awareness that leads to true and sustainable transformation.
I encourage you to embrace the golden gift of silence in your coaching and notice what happens!
Until next time,
with best wishes for your success,
Cath
This is just one of the topics we cover in the Coach Development and ICF Mentoring Programme.
You can find out more by clicking here.
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How often do you hear comments like this…
“It would have been a great meeting if only the manager had been in a better mood”
“ We can’t do that because our clients won’t like it ”
“ The presentation would have been much better if we’d had more time”.
Or maybe you hear yourself make them.
These are examples of the blamer in action.
We all know people who don’t take responsibility for what happens but who always look for someone else to blame.
And we see examples all the time these days from politicians who are fantastic at it!
“ 99% of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses”
George Washington Carver, Chemist
But the problem with this is that it doesn’t solve problems or produce sustainable successful results.
The Principle of Cause and Effect
The basic principle of cause and effect (which we reflect on and utilise on my Lead Like a Woman Coaching Programme) underpins this.
Are you at the effect of everything that happens to you i.e. a blamer?
Or are you at the cause of everything that happens in your life – in other words are you a claimer ?
Those at effect (blamers) won’t have results but will always have reasons and excuses for why they don’t and these may seem to be very real and valid.
For example: “ If only X had done as I told her there wouldn’t be a problem”
” My coaching client is just so difficult”
And one I hear regularly…” I can’t take time for myself because there’s too much to do”
Those at effect point at something either inside or outside of themselves over which they have no control and that will be the excuse that keeps them boxed in to the present situation.
And it is sometimes nice to have reasons or excuses but ultimately it is frustrating and stressful when we don’t get the results we want.
Being at cause is a belief that we create our results either through our actions or our non-actions.
We are responsible for all of the results that we get in our lives even if it seems to be those things that are outside our control (claimer).
Now it doesn’t matter whether this is true or real.
If you act as if it is true, you will get better results as a result of it.
But this is not about beating yourself up when you don’t get the results you want, because then you are blaming yourself and then you are just at effect.
Being a claimer is about having a mindset that says “everything is my responsibility, but nothing is my fault” and then acting as if it is true.
So which side of the equation are you on?
Are you a claimer or a blamer?
Try this….
In the next couple of weeks, whenever you begin to find yourself making excuses or blaming others for the results that you are getting, stop and ask yourself the following questions:
- How did I create this result?
- What was it I did or didn’t do that caused it to happen?
- What do I want to create instead?
- What do I need to do differently to get the result I want?
because once you begin to adopt this mindset it gets rid of boxed-in thinking and empowers you to get exactly the results you want to achieve.
Until next time,
With best wishes for your success,
Cath
Cath Daley Ltd.
P.S. If you want some help to move from effect to cause quickly and easily then why not take advantage of one of the free Transformational 1-2-1 Coaching Conversation calls I run every month ?
Just click here to book one now.
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When I first trained as a coach (over 22 years ago now!) one of the absolute no-nos was to give advice. We were told that was […]
The post Why Giving Your Suggestions Can Disempower Your Coaching Client appeared first on Cath Daley.
As an ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC), Certified ICF Assessor and ICF Coach Mentor I often get asked the question
“ how do I choose a mentor?” and here are some insights I thought I’d share….
I am passionate about mentoring coaches to help them to grow and develop both personally and as a coach and to help them get their ICF Credential.
Mentoring can be a very powerful and transformational experience if you find the right coach mentor for you.
And it can be ineffectual and unpleasant if you don’t!
When I was looking for a Coach Mentor for my MCC Credential I felt I wanted to be supported and challenged too at the right level for me.
It was a really interesting experience.
The prospective mentors I had chosen to talk to were all highly experienced, all ICF credentialled and their responses were very different.
I asked them all the same set of questions which gave me a way of comparing them and determining which was the best fit for me.
I took time to think it over before deciding because I know it is so important for me to be working with a mentor who “gets”me.
And the one I chose to work with Jennifer Powers was amazing!
We got on so well in fact that Jen asked me to work as a coach mentor for her even before I got my MCC.
When searching for a coach mentor how do you choose in a market that is loaded with coach mentors these days?
Here are 6 steps to choosing the right coach mentor for youStep 1: Decide on your reason for wanting to work with a coach mentor
- Is it to develop your coaching skills?
- Is it to gain your ICF Credential?
- What are you looking for in a coach mentor?
- Do you actually want mentoring ? or do you need coaching instead?
Step 2: Be clear about the type of coach mentor you want to work with
- Do you want a coach mentor who has a professional credential? ( ICF, EMCC etc)
- How do you want them to mentor you- do you want them to have a softly softly approach or be challenging?
- Do you want individual or group mentoring? or a combination of both?
Step 3: Do your research
Ask your friends, colleagues and others you trust for recommendations.
Use LinkedIn, Google, Facebook.
If you want to work with an ICF Credentialled Coach Mentor you can use that as a search term
Step 3: Identify potentials
- When you have identified several potential coach mentors for you then find out about their coaching training, qualifications, credentials.
- How long have they been coaching? How experienced are they?
- If you are going for a specific credential e.g. ICF, then find out what experience they have of mentoring coaches like you.
- Look at their testimonials and LinkedIn recommendations.
- If you know someone who has given them a testimonial contact them to have a chat about their experience of working with the coach mentor concerned.
Step 4: Arrange to have a chat with your potential coach mentor
Request a chat so that you can ask questions and get to know them to see if they are a good fit for you and if you are a good fit for them.
- Find out what is included in the Mentoring Programmes they run.
- How often are the coach mentoring sessions? how long are they?
- Do they provide coach development as well? ?
- Do you get feedback on your coaching?
- Do you get to develop your coaching skills?
- What is their approach as a coach mentor?
- Ask what experience they have in working with coaches.
- What’s important to them in a mentee?
- What is their track record?
Then I suggest that at the end of your conversation you say that you need time to think it over and you’ll get back to them.
Step 5: Go with your gut instinct
When you have completed the previous steps then I believe you should go with your intuition.
Take time to review how you felt with each potential coach mentor.
Did you get a good feeling after chatting with them?
If you did then chances are they will be a good coach mentor for you.
Alternatively if you got a feeling that it’s not quite right then it probably won’t be.
Listen to your gut instinct because the relationship with your coach mentor is a very personal one.
STEP 6: Let them know your decision
Contact the coach mentor you have decided to work with and ask what the next steps are to begin working together.
Then celebrate in finding the right coach mentor for you!
I get asked ” but what if a mentor is not right for me. How do I tell them without offending them?”
Contact the mentor to thank them for their time and let them know that you have decided that another mentor is a better fit for you right now.
All of the professional coach mentors I know never take it personally because they know it has to be right for both of you.
I offer a number of free Coach Development and ICF Mentoring Discovery Calls every month for people to get a feel for what it is like to work with me.
I get a sense of what they are looking for, answer any questions they may have and whether or not we are a good fit for each other.
If I feel I can’t help I refer them on to someone who can.
Working with the right coach mentor for you should be a transformationalexperience and it is a considerable investment in both time and money so it’s worth taking the time to get it right.
Until next time,
with best wishes for your success,
Cath
P.S. if you want to take advantage of one of the free sessions then click Coach Development and ICF Mentoring Discovery Calls to book a call
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If you have difficulty saying no, you are not alone! But being able to say “no” gracefully is crucial if you are to realise your […]
The post How to Say “No” Gracefully: Part 2 appeared first on Cath Daley.
“One of the most painfully inauthentic ways we show up in our lives sometimes is saying “yes” when we mean “no” Brené Brown […]
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As you evolve into the successful leader you know you want to be what might you be holding on to that is keeping you stuck?
There have many things for me over the years…..
- a lack of confidence in stepping up – who am I to be doing this?
- a fear of getting it wrong, of being a failure, of looking stupid
- having naysayers around me who didn’t want me to be more successful than them
- limiting beliefs about my own ability
- the perfectionist in me that was scared of not being good enough
- thinking I had to work it all out by myself and do it all alone
Most of that stemmed from me wanting to stay in my comfort zone where it was safe and comfortable!
Why would you not?
But deep down I was not fulfilled in what I was doing, I wanted to look forward to work every day, rather than dread it, and I wanted to be making a bigger difference.
Then I came across this quotation……
“All true growth takes place at the edge of your comfort zone.
If you stay in your comfort zone then today is the most you will ever be”
and that really hit home for me. Was this it? Were things never going to get any better? Was I stuck where I was?
That was so depressing for me and there and then I decided to do something about it.
I found an amazing coach to work with, who took me to the edge of my comfort zone. She helped me to get rid of the limiting beliefs and quieten down my perfectionist and get rid of the fears about not being good enough and a whole pile of other things.
And everything changed.
So if you want more, to be more, then what could you do today to take that first step to the edge of your comfort zone?
Because the great thing is that when it’s stretched it never goes back.
How brilliant is that?
If you want to find out more about coaching can help you overcome challenges like these then let’s have a chat! Click here to book a call.
The post How Comfortable Are You? appeared first on Cath Daley.
I am passionate about Coaching and believe that every coach should be working with their own coach.
Coaching can be a very powerful and transformational experience if you find the right coach for you. And it can be ineffectual and unpleasant if you don’t!
I recently started looking for a new personal coach because I felt I needed a new challenge. It’s a while since I’ve done this and was a really interesting experience.
The prospective coaches I had chosen to talk to were all highly experienced, all ICF credentialled and their responses were very different.
I asked them all the same set of questions which gave me a way of comparing them and determining whch was the best fit for me right now.
I took time to think it over before deciding because I know it is so important for me to be working with a coach who “gets”me.
As a Leadership Coach who has been coaching for over 20 years I often get asked the question “ how do I choose a coach?” and going through the process again for myself has given me some new insights which I thought I’d share….
When searching for a coach how do you choose in a market that is saturated , where anyone and everyone is calling themselves a coach these days?
Here are 6 steps to choosing the right coach for you.Step 1: Decide on your reason for wanting to work with a coach
What problems and issues do you want help with?
What are you looking for in a coach?
Do you actually want coaching? or do you need mentoring instead?
Step 2: Be clear about the type of coach you want to work with
Are you looking for a leadership coach, a relationship coach, a business coach, a weight loss coach, a wealth coach, a social media coach etc?
Do you want a coach who has a professional credential? ( ICF, EMCC etc)
How do you want them to coach you- do you want them to have a softly softly approach or be challenging?
Step 3: Do your research
Ask your friends, colleagues and others you trust for recommendations.
Use LinkedIn, Google, Facebook.(If you want to work with an ICF Credentialled Coach you can use that as a search term)
Search the ICF on-line directory of coaches.
Step 3: Identify potentials
When you have identified several potential coaches for you then find out about their coaching training, qualifications, and credentials.
Find out if they have experience of working with people like you who have issues like yours.
Look at their testimonials and LinkedIn recommendations
If you know someone who has given them a testimonial contact them to have a chat about their experience of working with the coach concerned.
Step 4: Arrange to have a chat with your potential coach
Request a chat so that you can ask questions and get to know them to see if they are a good fit for you and if you are a good fit for them
I spoke to six different coaches before I decided.
Find out the sort of programmes they run and for how long.
How often are the coaching sessions? how long are they?
What sorts of coaching tools do they use?
What are their values as a coach?
Ask what experience they have in working with issues like yours. What’s important to them in a client?
What is their track record? Do they work with their own coach?
Then I suggest that at the end of your conversation you say that you need time to think it over and you’ll get back to them.
Step 5: Go with your gut instinct
When you have completed the previous steps then I believe you should go with your intuition.
Take time to review how you felt with each potential coach. Did you get a good feeling after chatting with them?
If you did then chances are they will be a good coach for you.
Alternativley if you got a feeling that it’s not quite right then it probably won’t be.
Listen to your gut instinct because the relationship with your coach is a very personal one.
STEP 6: Let them know your decision
Contact the coach you have decided to work with and ask what the next steps are to begin working together.
Then celebrate in finding the right coach for you!
I get asked ” but what if a coach is not right for me. How do I tell them without offending them?”
Contact the coach to thank them for their time and let them know that you have decided that another coach is a better fit for you right now.
All of the professional coaches I know never take it personally becauser they know it has to be right for both of you.
I offer a number of free Transformational 1-2-1 Coaching Conversations every month for people to get a feel for what it is like to work with me.
They bring an issue and I coach them because the best way to find out what it is like to work with me is to experience my coaching.
If they want to continue to work together that’s great, and if they choose not to that’s fine too. They will have had a valuable experience of coaching.
I get a sense of what they are looking for and whether or not we are a good fit for each other.
If I feel I can’t help I refer them on to someone who can.
Working with the right coach for you should be a transformational experience and it is a considerable investment in both time and money so it’s worth taking the time to get it right.
Until next time,
with best wishes for your success,
Cath
Cath Daley Ltd.
P.S. If you want to find out more and have a free 90 min Transformational Coaching Conversation with me click here to reserve one now.
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The Christmas pressure is already starting to build……
It can be an exhausting time of year right now and as women we seem to experience it even more than men.
Are you feeling overwhelmed sitting looking at your to-do list and not knowing where to start? There are so many things you have to think about……
How to clear your desk before Christmas….. and maybe organizing the staff party….as well as doing the Christmas shopping, sorting out the tree, taking the children to see Father Christmas, wrapping the presents, getting the house clean, doing the food shopping, going to the school carol concert or nativity play,writing and sending the cards…and lots of other things.It can seem like the list is endless.
And there never seems to be enough time to do it.
You can end up feeling exhausted before you even start. And the problem is that the more overwhelmed you get, the more ineffective you are at dealing with it. It becomes a vicious circle.
(If you’re not sure whether or not you’re heading for overwhelm you can check out the 6 danger signs here.)
Now much as I would like to, I can’t do the Christmas shopping for you, or wrap the presents or cook your dinner….
but what I can do instead is help you to reduce the stress because the earlier you start to do this the more stress free your Christmas will be.
Here are 7 steps to help you start to get rid of the overwhelm.
1. Stop and recognize it’s OK
Just stop what you are doing and recognize it’s OK to be overwhelmed. Its perfectly normal to be overwhelmed and stressed when you have all this stuff going on.Give yourself a break! Accept you’re not at your best and recognize it’s fine that you’re not.
2. Change your state
Stand up, go for a walk outside, have a cappuccino in a local cafe, listen to a piece of music that makes you feel good, do deep breathing for 5 mins, do a mindfulness exercise, do F.L.O.W. (if you know that process). It doesn’t matter what it is as long as you change your state.
3. Write it all out
Take a piece of paper and write it all out- everything that you have to do, everything that is competing for your attention in as much detail as you can.
4. Delete and Delegate
Look at each item on your list and ask yourself “What’s the worst thing that would happen if it didn’t get done?”
and if it’s not serious then delete it from your list. This doesn’t mean it will never get done, it’s just not a priority right now.
For those items that remain ask your self “Who else could do it instead of me?” and then delegate the ones that someone else could do.
This will leave the items that only you, and nobody else on the entire planet, can do.
5. Prioritize
Refocus on why you are doing all this anyway and then prioritize the order in which you will do the things that only you can do.
6. Replenish
Take time out to replenish your energy. This can be as simple as repeating step 2 or of you do this at home, go and have a nice relaxing bath, put your feet up with a cup of tea- whatever it is that will make you feel more energized.
7. Take action
You will have heard the old adage – how do you eat an elephant? – one bite at a time.
So take action on that first bite. Reward yourself for having accomplished it.
Then rinse and repeat!
Here’s to a stress free Christmas!
Cath
P.S. I am offering a number of free, no obligation Overwhelm Rescue Sessions in the next couple of weeks. If you want help to make overwhelm a thing of the past, to stop having to keep the plates spinning (or balls in the air) and want a way of making your life easier and stress free in 2023 then click here to book a session.
It might just be the best present you could give yourself …….
The post Are You Heading for Christmas Overwhelm? appeared first on Cath Daley.
I've found that many coaches are confused about how to apply and get their ICF credential- about what the different levels and paths are and I run a number of calls each month to take coaches through it.
Susan contacted me for one of these calls. She wanted to find out what was needed in terms of mentoring for ICF. She was keen to get a professional qualification that would increase her credibility as a coach.She had planned to embark on another ICF accredited coach training programme to give her the additional hours she thought she needed. It was going to cost her £7,000 and take a further 9 months, but it wasn't necessary for her in order to apply for her PCC credential. She could do it by a different path.
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I have had a lot of enquiries recently about ICF , what it is, what does credentialing mean etc is and so I’ve put together this FAQ article to answer the most common questions.
The post To Get or Not To Get? The ICF Credential….. appeared first on Cath Daley.
The power of using a Success Review and a Success Diary
The post Are You Ready for Your Success? appeared first on Cath Daley.
It’s that time of year when social media is full of articles, videos and blog posts about setting your goals and how different things will be […]
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Over the years I’ve found that it really useful to take some time out to reflect on the previous few months and set intentions for the […]
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A brand new year is almost here and the daylight hours are getting longer again.
As usual at this time of year thoughts turn to making New Year Resolutions.
Have you made any yet?
Because did you know that by the end of January only about 10% of people are succeeding at keeping their resolutions?
The post Why Making New Year’s Resolutions is a Waste of Your Time appeared first on Cath Daley.
It’s Friday afternoon and the clock is ticking. You’re working furiously to complete a task before the five o’clock deadline, while silently cursing yourself for not […]
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As women there are lots of things around in the workplace that hinder us as leaders, but one that isn’t often talked about is how we […]
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As a woman in business…. Have you ever felt overwhelmed by all that you have to do? And everything seems too much? That you’re drowning […]
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” Silence is one of the great arts of conversation” Cicero The world is made for those who step up and stand out, not […]
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As a Leadership Coach who has been coaching for over 19 years I often get asked the question “ how do I choose a coach?” Coaching […]
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If you are in business you are repeatedly presenting yourselves and your business – whether that’s to a new contact, a prospect, your boss, a client, a procurement team . . . whatever the situation the impact you make is down to how effectively you communicate and . . .
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I’ve recently been watching some of the re-runs of the comedy show “Little Britain”, and you may or may not be a fan of it but I’m sure . . .
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As you know I’m passionate about helping women leaders to get off the leadership roller coaster, to lead in a way that brings fulfillment and joy […]
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Fear, anxiety, frustration, uncertainty, anger, grief, even rage…….these are emotions that many of us are feeling right now. And it’s a perfectly normal response to what’s […]
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For many women leaders the Inner Critic is often around to a greater or lesser extent but what I’m noticing whilst we are in lockdown […]
The post Is Your Inner Critic on Steroids Right Now? Here’s How You Can Deal with Her appeared first on Cath Daley.
Are meetings the biggest waste of time, money and energy in your company or organisation? Many businesses have had to adapt and go on-line in the […]
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In these times of uncertainty, fear and pain this is a beautiful reminder that things will get better… In Maori Papatuanuku, mother earth. In Māori […]
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What has Easter simnel cake got to do with giving a great presentation?
Surprisingly there are a number of similiarities and here Cath outlines what they are so you can give a successful presentation every time....
The post Struggling with Presenting On-Line? It’s just like making simnel cake appeared first on Cath Daley.
Here are 9 things you can do to own your own brilliance and share it - to STEP UP and STAND OUT.
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Are you up for a challenge?
This challenge is to make a decision whilst letting go of “getting it right”......
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So why are the beginning and ending so important? What most people don’t realize is that when information is presented it is remembered in the BEM sequence. […]
The post The BEM Principle- Ignore it at Your Peril! appeared first on Cath Daley.
According to a year-long study by the Centre for Talent Innovation, leadership potential is signalled through your gravitas, your communication skills and your appearance . . .
The post The 6 Ways You Communicate Your Executive Presence – or Don’t! appeared first on Cath Daley.
Imagine for a moment that I give you a box.bright box with lid
It measures 30cm x 20cm x 5cm.
It is brightly coloured and has a lid which at the moment is closed.
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In the present financial climate, when all seems to be doom and gloom, it may seem inevitable to dwell on mistakes, failures and the negative aspects […]
The post How To Get Less of What You Don’t Want in Your Business appeared first on Cath Daley.
Great speakers and presenters are liked by their audiences and being likeable doesn’t only help with presenting but will help you in your job, business, relationships, and life.
What makes great speakers so likeable and so successful? And how can we do it?
The post Are you a Likeable Presenter? Which characteristics apply to you? appeared first on Cath Daley.
How would you like to achieve much more with much less time and effort? Sounds impossible?
Well that’s what many thousands of . . .
The post Boiled Eggs and Business! appeared first on Cath Daley.
She is an internationally acclaimed speaker and sought-after educator who has taught over 65,000 people on three continents.
The post Podcast: Dr Joanna Martin appeared first on Cath Daley.
Sophie is an Entrepreneur, Author, Business Coach and Professional Speaker. She currently runs several businesses, is a coach to several ambitious business owners and has a growing marketing agency.
The post Podcast: Sophie Bennett appeared first on Cath Daley.
Sarah describes herself as accidental entrepreneur and serial academic who enjoys generating ideas, working with awesome people and making things happen – fast.
The post Podcast: Sarah Wood appeared first on Cath Daley.
She started the UK's first Black Women Business Network - The European Federation of Black Women Business Owners. In addition to being awarded the CBE in 2003 for her services to women, small business and minorities, her work has been recognised internationally and acknowledged by the Mayor of Houston, Texas with her own day- Yvonne Thompson Day 4th Jan. As well as being named in Washington in the Congressional Records.
The post Podcast:Dr. Yvonne Thompson appeared first on Cath Daley.
With a background in business management, advertising, the private medical sector, the Employment Department Jill has also worked in the House of Commons for 18 years.
She was appointed as the first female Sergeant at Arms in 2008, which she describes as a formal job with a very formal uniform. Her responsibilities as Sergeant were security, access and ceremonial.
When she retired from the role in 2012 this was said about her contribution “Jill has played a powerful role in mentoring and encouraging other women in the House service to achieve their potential. The number of women now occupying senior posts in the House Service is some measure of the example she has set.”
The post Podcast: Jill Pay appeared first on Cath Daley.
Following from last week's post, find out why you will continue to get what you don't want in 2015 unless you make this change......
The post You Will Continue to Get What You Don’t Want in 2015 Unless You Make This Change…. appeared first on Cath Daley.
Cath describes why 90% of resolutions fail within 30 days of setting them and what you need to do to get more of what you want for your business.
The post Why Making New Year’s Resolutions is a Waste of Your Time appeared first on Cath Daley.
Sue is Vice President of Business Development for GainXInc., a global technology firm that is leading the charge in enterprise innovation and she has extensive experience in enterprise development working within the UK, the USA and Central America.
She has MAs Human Resource Management and Social Enterprise Management and is a Visiting Fellow at the Small Business Research Centre at Kingston University.
In addition to being the Global Advisor for WE Connect International, Sue is a Special advisor to the All Parliamentary Group for Women in Enterprise and a trustee of the Commonwealth Children’s League Education Fund supporting girls in emerging countries to continue their secondary education.
In 2014 Sue was awarded the MBE for promoting women’s business leadership worldwide.
The post Podcast: Sue Lawton appeared first on Cath Daley.
If you would like a quick and easy way to destress at Christmas then here are 3 things you can do that will make a huge difference.
The post 3 Steps to a Stressless Christmas appeared first on Cath Daley.
We sometime over-complicate things ...... and it really is simple.
The post We Sometimes Over-Complicate Things….. appeared first on Cath Daley.
Sue O’Brien is the CEO of the Norman Broadbent Group and since assuming that role in 2008 she has grown the business to become one of the world’s leading executive search firms.
She is a founding member of the Women’s Business Council, an independent council commissioned by the Rt.Hon Teresa May in 2012, to look at pragmatic and workable recommendations to prevent women from being excluded from making a positive contribution to the UK Economy.
In January 2014 Sue was awarded the OBE for services to Gender Equality in the Workplace and voluntary services to the community.
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The STEP UP and STAND OUT Programme for Women Leaders is back
We have just finalized the new dates for the next programme. Find out more.
The post New Dates for The STEP UP and STAND OUT Programme for Women Leaders appeared first on Cath Daley.
It's halloween but do you trick or treat in your business all year round? because it's probably losing you sales....
The post Do You Trick or Treat in Your Business? Because It’s Probably Losing You Sales appeared first on Cath Daley.
Dr. Inna Baigozina-Goreli is a partner at the global management consultancy A.T. Kearney.
With over 20 years of consulting experience serving global clients in the Chemicals, Industrial and other B2B sectors across ~20 countries , she support clients on a broad range of issues from portfolio and business unit strategy development and merger integration to commercial excellence and profitability transformation.
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