Mama Monk Podcast: Recent Episodes
Mariella van Mackelenbergh
Mama-hood is a sacred thing. Being a Mother should be a beautiful, cup overflowing, fulfilling, vibrant experience full of smiles.
Tantrums, meltdowns, misunderstandings, emotional outbursts…. Not knowing what to do anymore makes the whole experience of Mama-hood very stressful and emotionally taxing.
20 plus years of research in the field of child development has shown me that most solutions offered don’t work in the long run because they’re all based on the false idea that tantrums are a normal part of child development.
This is leading to parental burnout and depression among children.
This has to stop. It’s simply not how it’s meant to be.
Their childhood only happens once and it’s time you start to cherish it, mama.
Become the mama MONK!
Is peace found within? Or is peace the result of a good routine, consistent structure and perfect organisation? Check out this episode for the answer!
The things I did to find peace...
Being organized, going to bed on time, exercising, meditating, affirmations...
Fast forward to today and a lot has changed. Not only do I enjoy peace (in parenting), but my understanding of where peace actually comes from is a lot clearer.
If you are struggling to find peace in parenting, I hope this week’s podcast helps.
The thing is, if you ever feel guilty, worried, scared, frantic, uneasy or insecure. You’re parenting from fear. Period.
And you are not alone. It's something we all do. Because we are conditioned to. At some point I knew: I want out.
We want the world for them, right mama? We will give them our all. Here's how to know for sure you’re doing that from Love.
In this episode we touch on things like:
🤯 What to do when another child tells your child to “shut up”. ❗ Why “taking the minute you think you don’t have” is the recipe for miracles in your parenting. 🥊 How all conflict comes down to the same basic elements.
In this episode we touch on things like:
👩🏻❤️👨🏾 What enables successful mother-child communication🤯 The one thing we do not teach our kids about emotions 👧🏽 The key to navigating hectic moments like daycare pick-up⛔ What you can do so your child is resilient to peer pressure 👼🏼 ”To be” is something for us to learn from our children
In this episode we touch on things like: 👨👩👧👦 How a tantrum is always based on a story. And if we stop validating the story, we put an end to the source, and so the tantrum will be no more. 📕 How the Mama Monk Model playfully provides children an understanding of Life. So they no longer feel victimized by Life, instead they flow with Life gracefully and joyfully. 😇 How Verenique (8 years) taught me a valuable Life lesson about myself.
When it comes to writing text about anything I'm not in my 'zone of genius' (as they say). Far from it! Even about something so close to my heart like the Mama Monk Model or even parenting or mama-hood...When it's required of me to write about it, I am better at verbally answering questions about it (and if need be writing that down) than writing something on my own. From scratch.
When I try to write something on my own I find myself staring at a blank screen and… nothing. Yet, when someone in a conversation asks me about the very same thing I find myself effortlessly finding the exact right words. It all just flows out. And that's what the Mama Monk Lifestyle is all about. Trust the process and 'it' will come to you. The solution, the answer, the Knowing. But you have to TRUST the process. Surrender to it. Be patient. Let go. Relax. Basically go against every built in ego mechanism and trust it's the right thing. For you. The result of this process is always serving those involved. In your Best interest and in the Best interest of the whole.
That's the 'job'. Any 'job'. To do what flows in the Highest good of all. So now I am going to make good use of this newfound Knowing! From now on my podcast is called The Mama Monk Conversations. My friend Marta and I engage in a conversation and talk about all things parenting (relationships, tantrums, choices and more). We talk all things parenting— but from a Mama Monk perspective. In this first episode we covered a lot of crucial elements of the Mama Monk Lifestyle. What is it exactly, how did it come to be, what does it really mean?
When your mind feels like boiling over…
This is how you turn down the heat.
So your Monk Mind has a chance to shine bright again.
Creating clarity and Purpose for you and your child.
Based on a true story 🙂
It's still weeks away and yet you're dreading the next family meeting already. Aunt Suzy has this horrible outdated habit of pinching your child's cheeks as a 'friendly greeting'. And EVERY gathering Uncle Fred insists the kids sit on his lap.
In parenting world this situation is described as 'toxic family members' and 'a toxic environment' and you're encouraged to 'speak up', 'you have the right'. But that's just it. You feel like no matter what you say or do, they don't change.
You're right. Trying to change them won't work.
There is, however, something you can do that will change everything.
You know that sunny afternoon, when you think you can run a quick errand on the way home from (pre)school? And then you walk straight into the toy aisle? And your child goes: ‘Mama, loooooook, I want this!’
Full of confidence you put the latest parenting tip to practice and say ‘Okay, honey, let’s put it on your wishlist’. Only to watch your child drop to the floor declaring ‘NO! I want it NOW!’.
First off, know this. You didn’t ‘do it wrong’. But in order for the ‘wishlist’ to work, a child needs to understand one thing about happiness first. When they do, they will say: ‘Oh mama, look, I would really like this. I’m going to put it on my wishlist!’.
Feeling hopeless comes from wanting the sun, the moon and the stars for them. So see it as a good thing and then do this!
Finally a method that just works. A method that ensures your kids’ happiness.
This is the reasoning behind the method.
We must learn to be happy now, regardless of any phase our child might go through. And the funny thing is, the sooner we learn this, the sooner the unwanted behaviour can stop. The two are linked.
Common language is THE superpower to make sure you and your child are on the same page. Always.
And this is essential in times with lots of social interaction. Common language will make sure your child will keep to the family values. And will not start to do or say things you consider rude or 'wrong'...
Your child is having fun at the playdate. A LOT of fun. But… you need to leave… now, to be on time for the next (fun) thing in the calendar (piano, soccer, dance, etc).
How to leave without hassle? Use a magical four-word question.
With our best intentions we set out to help our children deal, handle or cope with external influences. But this is an endless battle, as these external influences are everywhere all the time. This leaves you worried, exhausted and unfulfilled. The only thing that will help is a radical shift in perspective. Perceive things differently and things will happen differently.
This episode is about the two fundamental pieces that guarantee mama-hood flow and stop the tantrums.