It's Embert!: Recent Episodes
It's Embert
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Embert is a little old man who counts on his grandson to help him let the world knows just how he feels about pretty much everything he feels like sharing!
Send your questions to Embert and maybe he'll pick them for one of his shows!
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert’s latest complaint? Main Character Syndrome.
That strange new condition where every trip to the store becomes a cinematic event, complete with sunglasses, slow-motion twirls, and unearned delusions of grandeur.
In this rant-to-reality check:
- A pharmacy trip turned fashion film
- Grandson’s absurd defense of “vibes”
- A reminder that not every moment is “aesthetic”
- And a plea for quiet, normalcy, and grocery store dignity
If you’ve ever had to step around someone doing a dramatic walk-and-talk in a CVS parking lot, this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert escapes the background of someone else’s TikTok.
Ask ChatGPT
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert is fed up with the era of over-sharers and self-appointed influencers turning every errand into a performance piece.
He misses a time when life was private—and dignity didn’t require a mute button.
In this live-streamed lecture:
- The rise of public narcissism disguised as authenticity
- Grandson's defense of “branding” and why it fails
- Rants about diners, checkout lines, and charity on camera
- A call to step offline and return to reality
If your phone battery lasts longer than your attention span, you need this episode.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finds a corner of the world where no one is filming him.
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Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert blows the whistle on the amusement park epidemic of grown-ups behaving like sugar-addled toddlers.
He came for a funnel cake, stayed for the judgment, and left with a migraine.
In this crowd-control classic:
- Adults who need a timeout more than the kids
- Why nostalgia has a credit limit
- A showdown with his grandson about “magic”
- And a plea to stop wearing mouse ears past the age of reason
If your weekend plans involve fantasy kingdoms and $12 soda refills, this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert recovers from motion sickness caused by watching TikTok dances in line.
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert’s latest target? The “dog-friendly” office trend that has turned professional spaces into canine chaos.
From allergy nightmares to awkward sniffing encounters, he’s got plenty to say—and not much of it is leash-friendly.
In this bark-tastic rant:
- Why offices and animals don’t mix
- The time a corgi disrupted Q3 projections
- What his grandson thinks about it (and why he’s wrong)
- And a flashback to when morale didn’t come with a squeaky toy
If your workplace has more chew toys than staplers, you need this episode.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes lint-rolling dog hair off his slacks.
Ask ChatGPT
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert goes full crusty bread on the modern plague of delivery dependency.
From overpriced sandwiches to limp fries that show up 90 minutes late, he’s had it with a world that can’t be bothered to walk out the door for lunch.
In this one:
- A eulogy for the neighborhood deli
- A showdown with his grandson over “convenience”
- A public service announcement about tipping
- And a desperate plea for society to put pants on again
If your idea of effort is tracking your burrito in real-time, it’s time to tune in and shape up.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes microwaving the sandwich he picked up himself.
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
It’s Independence Day, and Embert is not here for your drunk uncles, TikTok firework fails, or casual disrespect for what the day really means.
In this explosive episode:
- The difference between patriotism and nonsense
- A plea to stop terrorizing pets and old men
- A rant on freedom, sacrifice, and flaming lawn chairs
- And one cranky veteran’s guide to celebrating like you actually give a damn
If you still think the Fourth is just about beer and bangs, this one’s your wake-up call wrapped in an American flag.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes chasing teenagers off his driveway with a garden hose and a pocket Constitution.
Season 4, Episode 60 – “I’m Not an Employee, I’m Just Old and Angry”
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert’s blood pressure spikes as he rails against the tyranny of self-checkout lanes.
He didn’t sign up to become a cashier. He just wanted batteries—and maybe a little respect.
In this firecracker episode:
- The indignity of being your own bag boy
- The myth of “efficiency”
- Glitches, freezes, and false accusations
- And why self-checkout might just be retail’s final insult
If you’ve ever muttered “unexpected item in bagging area” in your sleep, this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes trying to scan a can of beans for the fifth time.
Ask ChatGPT
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert’s blowing a fuse over smart appliances that aren’t so smart.
From toasters with settings that require a tutorial to fridges that want your Wi-Fi password, he’s had it with modern “convenience.”
In this one:
- The washing machine that sends text messages
- The fridge that can stream music but not chill milk
- The rise of surveillance kitchenware
- And why Embert misses the glory of buttons, knobs, and things that just worked
If you’ve ever had to download a firmware update to make toast, this episode will soothe your analog soul.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes yelling at the dryer for asking for his location.
Bonus! Embert has no way to end the recording so goes on for several more minutes before "pushing a button" that either launches a nuke or ends the recording.
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
What does your shopping cart say about you? Everything.
In this episode, Embert goes ballistic on the lazy, the selfish, and the “too busy” folks who treat parking lots like lawless wastelands.
Topics include:
- The unwritten rule of the cart corral
- The cart that murdered his Buick
- A savage takedown of the “Someone gets paid for that” excuse
- And the shocking connection between cart abandonment and societal decay
If you’ve ever returned a cart in the rain just because it was the right thing to do—this one’s your victory lap.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes walking the one cart he didn’t even use all the way back to the front of the store.
Ask ChatGPT
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert’s got a message for the snowflake generation: not everything deserves a trophy.
From t-ball leagues handing out gold for last place to “Most Enthusiastic” ribbons that belong in a trash can, he’s fed up with the cult of empty praise.
In this episode:
- Why losing builds character
- What real achievement looks like
- The truth behind “Most Improved”
- And why the only trophy Embert ever earned was a chipped tooth and a handshake
If you think failure is mean, this episode is your wake-up call with a side of tough love.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes yelling at a youth soccer team.
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Today, Embert goes to war with the rise of online customer service—a battlefield littered with chatbots, hold music, and “agents” named Steve who clearly aren't.
This rage-filled rant covers:
- The absolute joke that is “live chat”
- Voice menus that require a PhD to navigate
- Why he’ll take a rude human over a friendly AI any day
- The hold music trauma that still haunts him
- And the future he wants: robots that fear us, not “empathize”
If you’ve screamed “REPRESENTATIVE!” into your phone like a lunatic, this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finally gets disconnected in peace.
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert straps in for a turbulent takedown of everything wrong with modern air travel. From TSA humiliation rituals to overpriced snacks and people dressed for a sleepover instead of a flight, he’s fed up and airborne.
Highlights include:
- Why flying in pajama pants is a national embarrassment
- The death of airline dignity and peanuts
- Crying infants, support animals, and support humans
- Seats designed for stick figures and elbows of fury
- And a reminder that no one needs three carry-ons and a beanbag chair
If you’ve ever looked around a boarding area and thought “This feels like a hostage situation,” Embert’s with you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert reclaims his overhead bin space from a guy named Skyler.
Due to a coding problem with Alexa, you are hearing this description instead of the actual episode of It's Embert! While they try to figure this out, if they ever do, please look for It's Embert on Spotify where you can listen to this and all other episodes. Thank you for your patience while some engineer that put a colon where a bracket should be figures out what they did wrong at Alexa HQ.
Embert has had it up to his bifocals with group chats. From nonstop pings and pointless polls to emoji abuse and unsolicited brunch updates, he declares war on this digital nightmare disguised as “connection.”
Inside the rant:
- What it means when your phone buzzes 63 times in 10 minutes
- Grandson’s ridiculous defense of the “family vibe”
- The dangers of GIF overload
- And a plea for the return of personal dignity and peace
If you’ve ever regretted typing “Sure, add me to the group,” this episode is your emotional support bat signal.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finds a chat-free corner of the internet.
In this flame-grilled episode, Embert loses his last nerve over the gentrification of the backyard cookout. Tofu, zucchini, beet juice, and Bluetooth grills? Not on his watch.
Inside the fire:
- A passionate plea for real meat and real propane
- Grandson’s leafy blunder
- Why the phrase “vegan brisket” makes Embert physically ill
- The emotional power of Aunt Marlene’s potato salad
- And a warning for anyone who dares bring a quinoa casserole to his house
If you believe barbecues are sacred and kale has no place near open flame, consider this your sermon.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert gets the grill started without an app.
Embert takes on the scourge of modern retail: the self-checkout lane. In a rant filled with beeping, bagging, and borderline nervous breakdowns, he lays bare the absurdity of stores turning customers into unpaid interns.
Highlights include:
- The disappearance of Brenda, Queen of Aisle 6
- A war with the bagging area robot
- Grandson’s misguided faith in “efficiency”
- An angry debate over sweet potatoes vs. yams
- And a haunting question: Do I work here now?
If you’ve ever muttered “I just wanted toothpaste” while waiting for an override, this one’s your therapy session—with Embert as your deeply irritated life coach.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert’s done fighting with the frozen peas scanner.
Embert’s had enough of “modern” church. In this reverently ranty episode, he lays into lattes in the sanctuary, praise bands with stage names, and sermons that sound like TED Talks.
Topics include:
- Church services that look like Coachella
- Grandson’s living room church “experience”
- The loss of silence, suits, and solemnity
- And why Embert still believes in hymnals, hard benches, and a good potluck
If you’ve ever wondered what happened to the sacred, the still, and the sound of a real choir, Embert’s got a sermon of his own—and it doesn’t come with neon lighting.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes wrestling with the church coffee machine.
In this milestone episode, Embert hits turbulence with the growing zoo of emotional support animals and objects. From ferrets in first class to peacocks in courtrooms, he questions whether we’ve confused “coping” with “chaos.”
Includes:
- A ferret with more rights than your suitcase
- Grandson’s defense of kombucha-based therapy
- Support humans (yes, really)
- A demand for fewer laminated vests and more self-discipline
If you’re tired of emotional crutches getting frequent flyer miles, let Embert guide you back to sanity—with no emotional support animals required.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert’s done growling at the support iguana next to him.
In this fiery and funny episode, Embert uncorks a hot thermos of rage over the absurdity of cancel culture. What used to be a private grudge is now a digital witch hunt. And if you think it’s about justice, Embert’s got a boiled peanut and a belt loop with your name on it.
Highlights include:
- Ancient tweets and modern drama
- Grandson’s unpaid debts and warped logic
- A world where only golden retrievers remain
- The lost art of minding your own business
- And why being offended is not a superpower
If you’ve ever been afraid to speak your mind because someone might turn it into a hashtag, this one’s your support group—with Embert as your crusty, ranty therapist.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert’s not being retroactively canceled for yelling at a cloud.
Embert’s back in black—suit, tie, and outrage—after witnessing the most unholy sight of all: a woman filming herself at a funeral. In this dark but hilarious episode, he breaks down how we’ve lost all sense of decorum, especially when it comes to saying goodbye.
Includes:
- TikTok eulogies and sparkle filters
- Grandson’s latte-fueled grief post
- Funeral homes with hashtags
- A man who listened to a murder podcast during a hymn
- And Embert’s suggestion that we bury our phones with our dignity
If you miss the days when mourning meant something more than engagement metrics, this one’s your spiritual reset.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert puts his own phone in a drawer for good.
In this revved-up episode, Embert’s grumbling about smart cars, sassy GPS voices, and grown adults who let a robot park their car for them. Back in his day, the only thing the car said was “vroom”—and it meant it.
Topics include:
- The death of glove box maps
- Grandson’s misguided faith in “smart mobility”
- Self-driving as “assisted loafing”
- Emotional support dashboards
- And why your car should shut up and drive
If you miss when vehicles didn’t beep, talk, or make you feel judged, Embert’s got your back.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert disables voice control with a screwdriver.
In this heavily starched episode, Embert rants about the decline of personal appearance—from mesh pants and taco glasses to green mohawks and designer pajamas. What happened to ironing a shirt and looking respectable?
He covers:
- The guy in mesh pants and a top hat
- Pajamas in public
- His grandson’s misguided ideas about “freedom”
- Barber disasters and facial metal detectors
- And a plea to bring back denim that doesn’t quit
If you believe style should include sleeves and sense, Embert’s preaching your gospel.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert spots another man in capri leggings.
In this thunderous throwback episode, Embert unpacks everything wrong with modern nightlife—from standing-room-only dance caves to cocktails with more herbs than a garden center. He longs for the days when you went out, danced with a stranger, and maybe remembered their name the next day.
This episode includes:
- DJ Migraine and his assault on Embert’s spine
- A crisis over no chairs
- Grandson's failed attempt to “vibe”
- The shocking app called Bonkr
- And why romance died somewhere between the fog machine and the cover charge
If you miss when a night out didn’t require hearing protection and GPS, Embert’s here to remind you: it used to be fun. Now it’s just cardio with neon.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finds a place that still has booths.
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In this high-velocity episode, Embert unleashes a righteous rant against the rise of adults on scooters. What used to be a toy for kids is now a full-blown urban menace—and Embert’s not having it.
In this episode:
- Embert almost loses a hip to “Skyler on a Segway”
- Grandson tries (and fails) to defend scooter culture
- QR code chaos, sidewalk slalom, and smug riders
- And the quote of the day: “You wanna relive your childhood? Mow a lawn.”
If you’ve ever had to sidestep an e-scooter crash site or just miss when grown-ups had dignity, this episode will glide right into your soul.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert gets his sidewalk back.
In this episode, Embert unleashes his fury on the modern restroom revolution. Gone are the days of simple stalls and cranky hand dryers—now it’s a full-blown laser-guided obstacle course of confusion.
Expect rants about:
- Motion sensor meltdowns
- The toilet that flushed before Embert sat down
- Mirrors that advertise oat milk
- The scandal of air dryers
- And one too many conversations about “inclusive design”
If you’ve ever walked out of a bathroom feeling older, wetter, and more confused than when you walked in, this episode will feel like a warm roll of paper towels from 1987.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finally figures out how to work the soap.
In this special Father’s Day episode, Embert slaps on his black socks and sandals and storms headfirst into the downfall of modern fatherhood. From backyard grill legends to dads who fixed everything with duct tape and pure rage, this one's a tribute to real men who didn’t need therapy to show they cared—they just handed you tools and taught you how to use ‘em.
Highlights include:
- The power of the “dad stare”
- Embert’s father: a man who built a shed from spite
- Why vulnerability has its place—but not in the garage
- A brutal takedown of TikTok parenting
- And a salute to all the dads who show love without hashtags
If your dad ever handed you a hot dog with one hand while tightening a bolt with the other, this episode’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert hears someone say, “My child prefers not to be corrected.”
In Season 4, Episode 41, Embert rants his way through a traumatic lunch at a modern restaurant that promised him a “burger” and delivered botanical sadness.
In this episode:
- Embert battles the “plant-forward” movement
- A waiter’s eyebrows spark a war
- Grandson tries (and fails) to defend quinoa as an entrée
- And the zinger of the day: “If your patty has a soul cycle membership, it’s not a burger.”
If you’ve ever left a restaurant hungrier than when you arrived, this episode will fill you—with rage and common sense.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finds food that doesn’t require decoding.
In Season 4, Episode 40, Embert delivers a furious—but somehow elegant—takedown of modern mail. From digital tracking nightmares to package pickup purgatory, nothing escapes his wrath.
In this episode:
- Embert fights with a QR code
- A grandson learns never to say “just go online” again
- The post office gets roasted for being a bureaucratic escape room
- And the line of the day: “I don’t want to scan anything except the headlines on a newspaper.”
If you’ve ever waited all day for a package that ended up “missed,” this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert gets something in the mail that actually belongs to him.
In Season 4, Episode 39, Embert laments the slow death of public park decency—where once you found peace, now you find shirtless bros, wild children, and live music nobody asked for.
This episode includes:
- A roast of “flow-state” joggers
- Embert’s brush with a rogue scooter
- Nostalgia for wooden benches and duck respect
- And the line of the episode: “If your child is feeding ducks Cheez-Its while screaming ‘yeet,’ you’ve failed.”
If you’ve ever gone to a park for quiet reflection and instead encountered a full-body drum circle, this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert escapes the chaos and reclaims his bench.
In Season 4, Episode 38, Embert wages war on the ever-expanding tipping culture that’s turned every interaction into a charity drive. From takeout windows to digital kiosks, everyone wants a slice of your conscience—and Embert’s not having it.
Expect:
- A takedown of digital guilt tipping
- A story about Embert’s grandson tipping for a smile
- Rants about tip buttons being bigger than the “decline” option
- And a final word of wisdom: “If the robot didn’t ask me how I’m doing, it’s not getting 18%.”
If you’ve had it with tipping requests at places where no service occurred, this episode is your relief.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert dodges another iPad flipping toward him with those beady little pre-selected percentages.
In Season 4, Episode 37, Embert tackles the high-tech horror show that grocery stores have become. He just wanted lettuce—and ended up needing a tutorial and a charging cable.
This episode includes:
- A rant against self-checkout tyranny
- The tragedy of Dolores the cashier’s disappearance
- Loyalty programs that feel like surveillance operations
- And the line of the day: “If I need a QR code to feed myself, civilization has failed.”
If you’ve ever screamed at a touchscreen or yearned for the sweet relief of a price sticker, this episode is your sanctuary.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert escapes the clutches of digital coupon culture.
In Season 4, Episode 36, Embert recounts his night at a local “paint-your-own-pottery” event—and it's as chaotic as you’d expect.
This episode delivers:
- A takedown of forced whimsy and performative joy
- An encounter with a man who probably owns three didgeridoos
- The story of a rainbow cat mug that nearly broke Embert’s spirit
- And the quote of the night: “If a ceramic owl speaks to me, I’m throwing holy water.”
If you’re tired of pretending arts and crafts count as enlightenment, this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert escapes another well-meaning ambush from people who want him to "paint his inner child."
In Season 4, Episode 35, Embert reflects on the days when parents weren’t afraid to parent—and kids actually respected authority.
Expect:
- A hilarious (and slightly terrifying) story about being grounded for blinking wrong
- A roast of modern parenting negotiations
- Embert’s take on “boundaries” and why his grandson needs a manual labor internship
- And the quote of the episode: “We didn’t need time-outs. We had fear-induced stillness.”
If you’re exhausted from watching toddlers rule the world like sippy-cup tyrants, this episode is your therapy.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert sees a five-year-old cuss out their mom and survive.
In Season 4, Episode 34, Embert tackles the rising trend of calling men “mothers” during Pride Month campaigns, and he’s not having it.
You’ll hear:
- A no-nonsense breakdown of what makes a mother
- A fiery response to corporate virtue signaling
- A brutal (but hilarious) takedown of his grandson’s argument
- And a classic Embert warning: “If you rewrite reality long enough, it’ll eventually return the favor—with interest.”
If you’re tired of watching the world bend logic into knots just to avoid hurt feelings, this episode’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes screaming at the TV without breaking the remote.
In Season 4, Episode 33, Embert unleashes a full wardrobe intervention for the modern age. From glitter Crocs to cryptic t-shirts, nothing is safe.
Inside:
- A takedown of “aesthetics” that make no seasonal sense
- A call for bringing back clothing categories
- A showdown with a shirt that might be a cry for help
- And Embert’s new fashion advice: “Stop looking like a walking panic attack.”
If you’ve ever wondered when society stopped ironing things—or why your shoes cost more than your rent—this episode will bring peace to your wrinkled, chaotic soul.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert survives a trip to the mall without yelling at a holographic sales associate.
In Season 4, Episode 32, Embert unleashes a full-force tirade on the downfall of public behavior.
You’ll get:
- A meltdown about FaceTiming in grocery stores
- A dental office phone call gone too far
- A courtroom tank top incident
- And the unforgettable line: “In my day, your truth didn’t matter if your manners were missing.”
If you’ve ever witnessed someone flossing on a bus or clipping their toenails in a café (true story, Embert’s still traumatized), this episode’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or when Embert recovers from seeing another adult pick their toenails in an airport lounge.
In Season 4, Episode 31, Embert calls out the modern trend of demanding respect without earning it. From job interviews with flip-flops to expired coupon meltdowns, he’s had enough of the “I’m owed” mindset.
Inside this episode:
- A rant about entitlement culture
- A story about his “structurally confused” feet
- The difference between kindness and obligation
- And a clear message: “Respect is earned. Not issued like a name tag.”
This episode is Embert in full form—grumbly, wise, and just one more public tantrum away from snapping like a dry breadstick.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert needs to remind the world that effort still matters.
In Season 4, Episode 30, Embert lights into the modern misuse of the word burnout, calling out how laziness and emotional softness have been rebranded as heroic exhaustion.
What’s inside:
- The difference between true burnout and being inconvenienced
- A savage takedown of “burnout influencers”
- A rant about his grandson’s “creative fatigue”
- And the reminder: “Being tired isn’t special. It’s Tuesday.”
If you’ve had enough of people confusing normal effort with existential collapse, this episode’s your cup of scalding hot truth.
New episodes drop regularly, or when Embert finishes yelling at his microwave for “beeping too smugly.”
In Season 4, Episode 29, Embert takes on the age of oversharing, calling out the obsession with turning private life into public spectacle.
What to expect:
- A scorching roast of social media trauma competitions
- A story about a lawn mower, a lightning storm, and one cousin who never got forgiven
- A rant about the difference between vulnerability and attention-seeking
- And this gem: “Some things aren’t relatable—they’re just weird. Keep it.”
If you’ve ever wanted to scream, “WHY would you post that?!” this episode is your catharsis.
New episodes drop regularly, unless Embert accidentally goes viral for yelling at a man recording his therapy session at a Cracker Barrel.
In Season 4, Episode 28, Embert rolls his eyes straight through the modern obsession with being “uniquely broken”. He takes aim at the way people mistake attention for validation and confuse relatability with depth.
You’ll hear:
- A rant about “neurospicy” sandwich confusion
- Embert’s grandson inventing trauma for social points
- A Target oat milk meltdown
- And this Embert classic: “You're not special. You're just very, very online.”
For anyone exhausted by internet personalities trying to turn every emotion into content, this one’s your sermon.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert tries to buy a candle and ends up yelling at a ring light display.
In Season 4, Episode 27, Embert tackles the growing confusion between being nice and being good. He reminds listeners that smiling, nodding, and avoiding conflict doesn’t make you moral—it makes you quiet. And the world doesn’t need more of that.
What you’ll hear:
- Embert’s story about Barbara the overly polite but completely useless toaster
- A roast of fake kindness, tone policing, and “supportive” people who ghost you at the first sign of effort
- A plea to bring back truth-telling and integrity over likability
- And this closer: “Nice is safe. Good is earned.”
This episode is sharp, wandering, hilarious—and more important than some people want to admit.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert remembers what he was yelling about mid-sentence.
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In Season 4, Episode 26, Embert tackles the culture of identity-as-achievement with his usual blend of wisdom, irritation, and side-rants that may or may not end where they start.
This episode includes:
- A reality check on why who you are isn’t the same as what you’ve done
- Embert roasting people who list their personality traits like job experience
- A call to stop branding your emotions and start building a life
- A reminder that your identity is a launchpad—not a trophy
- And the closer: “Your identity might open the door—but your work is what keeps it open.”
If you’re tired of watching people get celebrated for labeling themselves instead of living fully, this one will hit just right.
New episodes drop regularly, as long as Embert doesn’t accidentally sign up for a sensitivity workshop he thought was a car show.
In Season 4, Episode 25, Embert takes down the modern obsession with “my truth”—especially when it’s used to cover up, excuse, or distort reality. With sharp humor, a few off-topic stories (including one about W-4 forms and emotional meltdowns), and that classic Embert sting, this episode is a wake-up call for a culture drowning in curated dishonesty.
Inside this episode:
- The difference between feelings and facts
- A roast of social media storytelling-as-survival
- Embert’s grandson getting dragged for mistaking confidence for competence
- A reminder that telling the truth is more powerful than inventing a flattering version of it
- And the mic-drop: “If your truth contradicts reality, it’s not brave—it’s bull.”
This one’s a little louder, a little messier, and exactly what Embert was born to say.
New episodes drop regularly, unless Embert loses his voice from yelling at the news again.
In Season 4, Episode 24, Embert takes on the overuse, misuse, and abuse of the word anxiety. With brutal honesty, old-man wisdom, and a few stumbles into stories that go nowhere, he makes the case that a lot of people don’t need therapy—they need structure, honesty, and fewer late-night bagel bites.
This episode features:
- A roast of performative anxiety culture and “overwhelm” syndrome
- Embert’s grandson getting clowned for being “too anxious” to answer email
- A plea to stop mislabeling lifestyle fallout as medical conditions
- A call to return to discipline, boundaries, and actual coping skills
- And the unforgettable closer: “You don’t need to regulate your nervous system—you need to clean your car and face your bills.”
This one’s a little harsh, a little off-topic, and exactly what some folks need to hear.
New episodes drop regularly, assuming Embert doesn’t get canceled for suggesting life isn’t supposed to feel like a permanent wellness retreat.
In Season 4, Episode 23, Embert pushes back against a culture that treats every mistake like a sin and every awkward opinion like an act of war. With his usual mix of cranky wisdom and hilarious detours (including one about duct-taped Buicks), he reminds us of something important: you can be wrong without being evil.
This episode covers:
- Why curiosity is being crushed by judgment
- Embert’s grandson getting triggered by the word “dictation”
- A rant on online mobs and how they weaponize ignorance
- A call for grace, correction, and the lost art of learning out loud
- And this closer: “If perfection’s the bar, we’re all going to hell—so pass the damn humility.”
It’s sharp, funny, and probably going to make someone very mad—which means it’s doing its job.
New episodes drop regularly, as long as Embert doesn’t get exiled for using outdated vocabulary in a sentence that wasn’t even about you.
In Season 4, Episode 22, Embert delivers a fiery, heartfelt Memorial Day message the world desperately needs. With a mix of raw patriotism, sharp humor, and old-school scolding, he reminds listeners what this holiday is really about—and who it’s for.
This episode features:
- A touching and hilarious tribute to Benny, a fellow soldier and turkey thief
- A roast of modern Memorial Day “celebrations” involving weed, glitter, and trauma for every neighborhood dog
- A scathing reminder that respect doesn’t come with sparklers and Coors Light
- And this line that says it all: “You’re not honoring anyone if you can’t even put the vape down for a moment of silence.”
If you’ve ever felt like Memorial Day lost its meaning, this episode brings it back—loudly, lovingly, and without apology.
New episodes drop regularly, or when Embert sees one too many red, white, and stupid tank tops at the gas station.
In Season 4, Episode 21, Embert tackles the modern trend of calling everyone brave, heroic, or extraordinary simply for existing. With his usual mix of sarcasm, old-school grit, and distracted rants (including one about pliers, a neighbor named Ron, and a completely unrelated fishing trip), he reminds us what real heroism looks like—and why it actually matters.
This episode includes:
- A sharp critique of praise inflation and the “you’re a hero just for trying” mindset
- Embert’s grandson earning a bravery certificate for asking to pee
- A call to reclaim words like brave, strong, and resilient from marketing departments
- A reminder that real courage is quiet—and often inconvenient
- And this classic closer: “Existing isn’t heroism. It’s the starting line.”
It’s funny, grumpy, and more accurate than most people are willing to admit.
New episodes drop regularly, assuming Embert doesn’t get labeled a “problematic elder” for demanding that courage actually mean something.
In Season 4, Episode 20, Embert laments the death of grit and the rise of the replacement mindset. From broken blenders to broken bonds, everything today gets tossed at the first sign of trouble—and he’s here to say: not everything needs to be replaced. Some things need to be repaired.
This episode features:
- Embert’s take on why relationships, jobs, and toasters used to last longer
- A roast of people who “cut off toxic friends” because of snack choices
- A call to reclaim the art of working through problems—not ghosting them
- Nostalgic stories about truck repairs, stubborn appliances, and duct tape diplomacy
- And this mic-drop: “Better isn’t always new. Sometimes it’s just fixed.”
Expect Embert to wander off-topic twice (once into a rant about rotary phones, and once into a confused recollection of how he met his wife—might’ve been at a DMV, might’ve been at a funeral), but he gets there in the end.
New episodes drop regularly, as long as Embert doesn’t throw out his mic stand just because it squeaks.
n Season 4, Episode 19, Embert sounds the alarm on the “safe space” generation—and not because he’s against support, but because he remembers when strength was the goal.
This episode is a rally cry to bring back standards, personal accountability, and the kind of discomfort that used to build you, not break you.
What’s inside:
- A roast of sensory rooms, healing hubs, and college cry zones
- Embert’s grandson requesting a “sensory cooldown” after basic arithmetic
- A nostalgic rant about dodgeball, gym teachers, and walking off injuries
- A reminder that mental health isn’t the same as mental fragility
- And the closing line: “If safe spaces worked, we’d all be stronger by now. But all I see is more pillows and less backbone.”
This one’s funny, sharp, and full of the distracted grandpa energy you didn’t know you needed. Embert forgets what he was saying twice—and still manages to out-debate half the people on the internet.
New episodes drop regularly, assuming Embert isn’t escorted off the premises of another emotional wellness seminar.
In Season 4, Episode 18, Embert turns his attention to the loudest plague of the modern age: everyone thinking their opinion is sacred. With a mix of frustration, forgotten anecdotes, and strong black coffee energy, he reminds us that not everything needs your input—and definitely not your input, if you haven’t done your homework.
This episode covers:
- Why silence is underrated
- Embert’s grandson live-streaming nonsense about popcorn and “emotional compliance”
- The rise of insta-experts with zero life experience
- A brutal critique of buzzword-filled nonsense parading as wisdom
- And the kind of advice only a slightly distracted, old-school grandpa can give
You’ll laugh, you’ll groan, and you’ll probably double-check your last post to see if you were the target.
New episodes drop regularly, or when Embert feels personally attacked by another viral opinion that took zero effort and got 80,000 likes.
In Season 4, Episode 17, Embert takes a flamethrower to the growing belief that being offended automatically makes you right. In a world where emotional reactions are mistaken for moral superiority, Embert delivers a reminder that feelings aren’t facts—and offense is not a credential.
This episode covers:
- The weaponization of outrage
- Why “your truth” doesn’t override the truth
- A roast of cancel culture crusaders and the Fragility Olympics
- Embert’s grandson getting grilled for using phrases like “tone policing” unironically
- And a classic closer: “Just because it hurt your feelings doesn’t mean it was wrong. It might mean you needed to hear it.”
This one’s for the people who are tired of watching reason get steamrolled by emotion, and logic drowned out by groupthink tears.
New episodes drop regularly, depending on how many apology tours Embert can stomach before he explodes again.
In Season 4, Episode 16, Embert delivers a fiery critique of today’s awareness-obsessed culture. While everyone’s busy “starting conversations,” nobody’s finishing the work—and Embert’s calling it out.
This episode tackles:
- The rise of slacktivism over substance
- Performative caring on social media
- Hashtag movements that burn out before anything happens
- Embert’s grandson “raising awareness” for laziness, basically
- And the mic-drop moment: “Awareness without action is just emotional noise.”
As usual, Embert blends frustration, humor, and a little wisdom from the generation that got things done without needing a graphic design team for it.
If you’re tired of talk and ready for results, this one will light a fire under your seat—and maybe under someone else’s too.
New episodes drop regularly, assuming Embert doesn’t collapse from awareness fatigue himself.
Season 4, Episode 15. And today we’re talking about something that might be the most abused phrase in modern conversation: “I’m just speaking my truth.”
Now, listen—if your “truth” can’t survive basic scrutiny, it’s not truth. It’s just noise. Being loud doesn’t make you right. Being emotional doesn’t make you accurate. And repeating it on Instagram with sparkles doesn’t make it profound.
Segment 1: The Hijacking of Truth
We used to have one thing everyone agreed on—facts. Now? Everybody’s got their own personal reality like it’s a damn streaming service. “Well, in my truth…” Stop right there. If your truth contradicts reality, it’s not a truth—it’s a narrative. And usually, a really annoying one.
I asked my grandson to stop using the phrase “my truth.” He said it’s “empowering.” I said, “You know what else is empowering? Knowing the difference between a belief and a fact.”
Segment 2: The Performance of Honesty
Let’s be honest—half the time “speaking your truth” is just a fancy way to say “I’m being rude and want applause for it.” It’s weaponized self-expression. It’s emotional entitlement disguised as bravery.
Your boss gives you feedback? “I’m just living my truth.” No—you’re just resisting accountability. Again.
Segment 3: The Rise of the Unquestionable
We’re in a weird spot where feelings are sacred and facts are offensive. People act like challenging someone’s version of reality is an act of violence. No—it’s called discussion. You don’t get to put your opinion in a bulletproof vest and call it invincible just because you cried when you said it.
Segment 4: Truth Isn’t Subjective
There’s only one truth. It might be uncomfortable, inconvenient, or not TikTok-ready—but it exists. And you don’t need to brand it, decorate it, or hashtag it for it to matter.
If we want to fix the mess we’re in, we’ve got to stop pretending emotional storytelling is the same thing as being right.
Description:
In Season 4, Episode 13, Embert has had it with the rising tide of performative victimhood. From barista mistakes to minor online spats, people are treating every slight as a personal crisis—and Embert’s not playing along.
This episode is a full-throttle rejection of the culture that confuses mild inconvenience with oppression, and attention-seeking with actual suffering. Embert reminds us that not every uncomfortable feeling is trauma, and not every disappointment is an injustice.
Highlights include:
- A roast of people who label every disagreement “abuse”
- Embert’s grandson getting dragged for calling a failed joke “emotional violation”
- A passionate defense of real victims being drowned out by whiners
- A critique of people weaponizing their feelings to avoid accountability
- And this classic line: “You’re not oppressed. You’re just annoying.”
He draws a hard line between hardship and high-maintenance. Real suffering exists—but when you cry wolf over every delayed latte or lukewarm take, you disrespect those who’ve faced true adversity.
As usual, Embert fumbles his way through a few rants, takes a sidebar about people who say “my truth” in job interviews, and comes out the other end with a crystal-clear message: strength starts with honesty—and for a lot of folks, that honesty begins with admitting they’re just sensitive, not scarred.
If you’re tired of watching grown adults act like martyrs over minor slights, this episode is your therapy—and unlike theirs, it’s free.
New episodes drop regularly, assuming Embert hasn’t been victimized by another viral video of someone crying in their car over eye contact. Tune in and toughen up.
In Season 4, Episode 12, Embert takes aim at one of the most popular lies in modern culture: if you feel it, it must be true. Not so fast. With his usual mix of sarcasm and old-school logic, he reminds us all that feelings are real—but that doesn’t make them facts.
This episode is a direct hit on therapy-speak overload, online emotionalism, and the rise of the “my truth” movement that’s got everyone treating their personal discomfort like federal law.
Highlights include:
- Embert’s takedown of “emotional accuracy” as a get-out-of-reality free card
- A sharp critique of people who treat disagreement like psychological warfare
- The rise of “lived experience” as a way to override facts
- Embert’s grandson getting roasted for saying that being challenged is “emotional violence”
- And this gem: “Just because it hurts your feelings doesn’t mean it’s incorrect. It just means you’re not ready to hear it.”
Embert draws the line between emotional expression and emotional dictatorship—and calls for a return to resilience, logic, and perspective. He’s not saying feelings don’t matter—he’s saying they don’t rewrite math, history, biology, or basic truth.
As always, he takes a few detours (including a sidebar on decorative journals and essential oil diffusers), but eventually sticks the landing with a rallying cry for balance: feel, yes—but also think.
If you’re tired of people shutting down debate with their “vibes” or confusing hurt feelings with objective harm, this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert sees another infographic about “emotional boundaries” written by someone who’s never had a real job.
In Season 4 Episode 11, Embert zeroes in on a cultural shift that’s got him gritting his dentures: laziness is no longer a flaw—it’s a lifestyle brand. From “slow living” influencers to grown adults celebrating three-day weekends spent horizontal, this episode is a wake-up call for anyone who thinks doing nothing is something to be proud of.
Embert makes it clear: rest is great—when you’ve earned it. But this new trend of glamorizing idleness? Not so much.
Highlights include:
- A roast of online “restfluencers” who monetize doing absolutely nothing
- Embert’s grandson getting dragged for skipping a shift due to “nervous system dysregulation”
- A reminder that discipline used to be admirable—not oppressive
- A powerful call to stop branding laziness and start reclaiming ambition
- And this line: “You don’t need to process your exhaustion—you need to do something worth being tired from.”
He doesn’t shame people who genuinely need help—he calls out the ones who don’t but act like they do because it’s trendy. He even gives a little tough love advice: get up, do something hard, then take a nap. That’s how pride works.
Embert also touches on the importance of discomfort—how it used to be fuel, not a diagnosis—and why celebrating effort should never go out of style.
If you’re tired of watching the bar get lowered while the self-congratulations get louder, this episode is for you.
New episodes drop regularly, assuming Embert doesn’t fall into a coma from watching too many “Day in My Life Doing Nothing” videos. Tune in, get up, and get moving.
In Episode 10, Embert sets the dinner table—and sets the record straight. This episode is a throwback to a time when political arguments didn’t end friendships and family members didn’t block each other over bumper stickers.
Embert dives into the collapse of civil disagreement and the rise of emotional fragility, offering a blunt but hopeful reminder: you don’t have to agree to get along. And you sure as hell don’t need to rewrite your family tree because your uncle voted differently.
Highlights include:
- Embert’s memories of old-school family debates that ended in dessert, not disownment
- A scathing roast of “activist unfriending” and people who think being challenged is abuse
- The rise of social media mob-think and why it’s ruining adult conversation
- A reality check for the self-righteous crowd who confuse conflict with trauma
- And this classic: “You used to be able to vote different and still hug your grandma.”
As always, Embert manages to weave in a jab at his grandson (who refused to come to dinner because “Grandpa’s energy feels combative”), a tangent about dopamine addiction, and a heartfelt plea to bring back respect—even when there’s no agreement.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone who misses grown-up conversations, debates without meltdowns, and the ability to disagree without deleting someone from your life.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert sees another think piece about emotional safety in group chats. Pull up a chair—dinner is served.
In Season 4 Episode 9, Embert pulls no punches as he wades into the murky waters of modern therapy culture. He’s not here to dismiss real mental health struggles—he’s here to call out the ones that are just glorified procrastination in a hoodie.
From “healing journeys” that involve no actual effort, to people skipping work because their “energy isn’t aligned,” Embert delivers a much-needed reminder that sometimes you don’t need therapy—you need a job, a schedule, and a reason to shower before noon.
Highlights include:
- A takedown of TikTok therapy trends and self-diagnosed conditions
- Embert’s grandson “working on himself” instead of working anywhere
- A rant on how structure, effort, and discomfort build resilience
- A reminder that processing your emotions isn’t a career path
- And the line: “You don’t need to unpack your trauma—you need to pack a lunch and go do something.”
He also challenges the culture of branding dysfunction, monetizing sadness, and using buzzwords like “dysregulated” to excuse laziness. This isn’t about shame—it’s about ownership.
You’ll laugh, groan, and probably feel called out if you’ve ever skipped a chore because you were “emotionally taxed.” Embert’s message is simple: purpose is healing, and doing hard things is better therapy than another nap under a weighted blanket.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert reads another article about “self-care sabbaticals” for people who haven’t worked since Wednesday.
In Episode 8, Embert takes a blowtorch to the growing culture of entitlement—and waxes nostalgic for a time when people earned what they had instead of expecting trophies just for existing. If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at participation ribbons or padded résumés, you’re going to love this one.
He kicks things off with a story about his grandson getting an award for “Outstanding Stillness in a Supporting Role” (he played a tree), and from there it’s a full-scale roast of the everybody-gets-a-trophy generation.
Embert takes on:
- Inflated job titles for people with no track record
- Social media influencers demanding respect for “their journey”
- Workplace mediocrity celebrated as innovation
- And the decline of standards in everything from education to employment
You’ll hear lines like:
- “You can’t hack grit. You can’t download discipline.”
- “If you can’t refill the paper tray, I’m not impressed.”
- “We’ve replaced effort with affirmation and called it growth.”
Embert doesn’t just rant—he calls for a return to accountability, personal responsibility, and the pride that comes from actually earning what you have. He reminds us that praise means more when it’s rare—and that fulfillment comes from effort, not attention.
This episode is for anyone who's tired of watching mediocrity get rewarded and excellence get ignored. It’s vintage Embert: funny, biting, and brutally honest.
New episodes drop regularly, whenever Embert has the energy to shake his fist at clouds and coddled egos alike.
In this no-holds-barred episode, Embert tackles one of the most overused and misused words in modern culture: racism. Once a word reserved for serious injustice, it’s now thrown around over cartoons, condiments, and coffee cups—and Embert has had enough.
He opens with a truth bomb that sets the tone:
“You mispronounce someone’s name at the DMV and suddenly you’re one hate crime away from federal prison.”
What follows is a scathing, side-splitting takedown of how real racism is being drowned out by online mobs looking for something—anything—to be offended by. From syrup bottles to historical statues to grocery store signage, Embert calls out the absurdity of diluting a serious issue into social currency.
Highlights include:
- A roast of people who use “racist” to mean “I don’t like that”
- A reminder that real discrimination still exists—and needs clear language to fight it
- Embert’s grandson being scolded for calling “you guys” a microaggression
- A deep sigh over the fact that disagreement is now considered hate
- And the line: “Your vibes are not admissible in court.”
This isn’t about politics—it’s about perspective. Embert shows how turning every slight into a civil rights crisis not only weakens the word racist—it undermines the fight against actual racism.
If you’ve been afraid to say anything at all for fear of being labeled, or if you’re tired of seeing the word “racist” applied to shadows and breakfast cereal, this episode is for you.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert sees one too many hashtags calling peanut butter a tool of oppression.
In Episode 2, Embert dives headfirst into the madness masquerading as progress. From banning the words “mom” and “dad” to glorifying confusion as inclusion, Embert lays into the culture that seems more interested in rewriting reality than improving it.
This episode isn’t left vs. right—it’s logic vs. lunacy. Embert spares no one as he calls out the cultural contortionists turning basic facts into hate speech and common sense into controversy. And yes, his grandson makes an appearance—mostly as a warning about what happens when you raise a kid on Wi-Fi and plant-based cheese.
Highlights include:
- Embert’s take on why progress used to mean solving problems, not creating new ones
- A sharp critique of language policing, identity inflation, and trend-based “activism”
- A rant about spineless politicians, including his own party
- A no-holds-barred plea to bring back accountability and backbone—on all sides
Along the way, Embert forgets his point, doubles back, drags TikTok dads and oat milk enthusiasts, and somehow manages to offend just about everyone before circling back to something wise. It’s messy, it’s off-script, it’s Embert in full form.
If you’ve been quietly wondering if the world’s gone nuts while pretending to nod along at brunch, this episode will make you feel seen—and probably a little fired up.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert needs to get something off his chest before society fully collapses.
Embert kicks off Season 4 by drawing a hard line between standing your ground and losing your grip. From blind party loyalty to cultish behavior infecting both sides, nothing’s off-limits. You can support someone without surrendering your brain—and Embert’s here to prove it.
In this brutally honest season opener, he tears into political fanbases, Twitter mobs, and yes, even some of the people he used to cheer for. If you think loyalty means defending every decision from your “team” no matter how dumb it is, prepare to get called out.
Highlights include:
- A fiery take on how blind allegiance destroys accountability
- Embert’s rant on Trump’s latest unforced error—and why pretending it’s genius doesn’t help
- A swing at both major parties for acting more like rival cults than adults
- The ever-important reminder: you can be loyal and still say, “That was stupid.”
Along the way, Embert stumbles, regroups, throws his grandson under the bus, and somehow still sticks the landing—classic Embert. He even manages to roast performative politicians, spineless Republicans, and Gen Z political influencers who’ve never read a bill but definitely have a ring light.
If you’re tired of defending dumb decisions just because you “picked a side,” this episode is your wake-up call. No team jerseys here—just facts, perspective, and a man with a microphone and no filter.
New episodes drop regularly, assuming Embert doesn’t get canceled by both parties at once. Buckle up. Season 4 just got personal.
In Season 4, Episode 14, Embert sets the record straight on something society used to understand instinctively: respect must be earned. In a world where people expect applause just for existing, Embert delivers a fiery, no-apologies reminder that real respect comes from action, not identity.
This episode is a long-overdue reality check for the participation trophy generation—and for anyone who confuses basic courtesy with admiration.
With Embert’s signature blend of sarcasm, common sense, and just enough side-rants to keep things spicy, he lays out:
- The difference between human decency and actual respect
- Why showing up and being loud doesn’t entitle you to praise
- The rise of online “respect culture” that has no backbone
- A sharp critique of title inflation and influencer ego
- And what it really takes to be worthy of someone’s respect
You’ll hear:
- Embert roast his grandson (again) for thinking “outdated values” are the reason nobody respects him
- A brutal takedown of people who demand respect for their “personal journey” while treating everyone else like trash
- A reminder that being a good person when nobody’s watching still counts more than a thousand hashtags
- And this gem: “You want me to respect you? Show me something worth respecting.”
This episode isn’t mean—it’s honest. Respect isn’t a given. It’s a reward for consistent integrity, responsibility, and how you treat others when it’s not convenient.
So if you’ve ever rolled your eyes at someone demanding recognition for simply being loud and present, this one’s for you.
New episodes drop regularly, assuming Embert isn’t permanently disrespected into podcast exile. Subscribe now—and remember: you’ve gotta earn your place at the grown-up table.
Embert is back in Season 4, Episode 6, wondering out loud how we became a nation of exhausted people... who don’t even work. If you’ve ever met someone who needs a “reset day” after organizing their email folders, this episode is for you.
In classic form, Embert opens with a sigh, calls out the absurdity of modern burnout culture, and then proceeds to verbally body slam everything from Etsy entrepreneurs on spiritual leave to remote workers crying about “Zoom fatigue” while wearing sweatpants at noon.
This episode is a crash course in Embert’s Old Man Logic™: if you’re tired, it better be from doing something. Preferably something useful, difficult, and real. You know—work. Not “vibe-curation,” not “emotional labor,” not “branding yourself.” WORK.
Expect gems like:
- “You’re not on a healing journey, you’re just unemployed with glitter.”
- “My grandson said he was ‘emotionally taxed.’ I said, son, the IRS doesn’t even know who you are.”
- “People used to do double shifts with a broken toe and a cigarette. Now you need a nap after folding a hoodie.”
This isn’t just a rant—it’s a reality check. Embert gets into the generational divide, the collapse of personal responsibility, and why nobody can sleep at night despite owning four weighted blankets and a $120 sound machine. Somewhere in there, he forgets what segment he’s on, roasts his grandson’s Etsy obsession, and starts yelling at his laptop for auto-updating mid-sentence.
You’ll also hear:
- A nostalgic ode to thermos lunches and jobs that didn’t care about your “inner child”
- A breakdown of why “working from home” now means “avoiding eye contact with your own goals”
- And a fiery call to action: stop spiritualizing laziness and start showing up
If you're tired of listening to tired people who’ve never worked a hard day in their life—this one’s for you. It’s part wake-up call, part therapy, part Embert accidentally closing his browser mid-rant and blaming his grandson for “downloading the cloud again.”
New episodes drop regularly, depending on how much stupidity Embert can stomach in a given week. Subscribe, share, and send this to someone who complains about being burnt out while charging crystals in the backyard.
Embert is back in Season 4, Episode 5, and this time he’s mourning something truly tragic: the death of common sense. From frozen pizza warnings to senators justifying carjackings as "community transportation," Embert takes aim at the stupid that’s somehow become standard—and he doesn’t miss.
In classic Embert fashion, the episode starts focused, spirals into a story about his dad threatening a toaster, veers off into a rant about his grandson’s “life coach,” and somehow still lands the plane in one piece. Barely.
This episode is a masterclass in curmudgeonly brilliance—part social commentary, part therapy session for anyone still clinging to logic like it’s on life support. Embert rails against the glorification of stupidity, participation trophies, influencers who can’t spell “influence,” and government officials who say things that would’ve gotten them laughed out of a school assembly in 1952.
Highlights include:
- A rant about warning labels and how they’re proof we’ve failed as a species
- Embert’s grandson claiming to be a “digital nomad with brand partnerships”
- An impromptu meltdown over a senator defending carjackers
- A list of things we used to teach kids before the Wi-Fi became their god
- And the unforgettable line: “You don’t need a therapist, you need a father who makes eye contact and a mother who doesn’t livestream her emotions.”
You’ll laugh, you’ll groan, you’ll probably yell “Exactly!” at least once. Or maybe you’ll just sit there stunned, realizing Embert is saying everything you’ve wanted to scream into the void for the last decade.
He’s grumpy. He’s glitchy. He forgets where he’s going mid-sentence and then roasts his grandson for not knowing how to make toast. But somehow, between the sarcasm and the static, Embert keeps delivering exactly what we all need: perspective from a time when you didn’t need a disclaimer to tell you not to lick a doorknob.
If you're new to It’s Embert, this episode is the perfect introduction. If you're a returning listener, buckle up. Embert’s fired up, barely filtered, and louder than ever—until the Wi-Fi cuts out again.
New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert remembers his password and hasn’t been banned from the internet for telling the truth. Subscribe, share, and for heaven’s sake, show this to someone who still believes TikTok is educational.
Well, here we go again. In this episode, Embert starts off trying to talk about gas prices—“back in my day, you could fill up your tank and still have enough left over for a pack of smokes and a hot dog!”—but quickly spirals into a rant about his grandson putting oat milk in his coffee and not knowing how to read a road atlas.
Embert reflects on the days when you didn’t need twelve apps just to drive across town and wonders aloud how we got to a place where people livestream themselves crying because their favorite sandwich was discontinued. There’s a tangent about turn signals (“they’re not optional!”), a confusing story about a squirrel in the attic that somehow turns into a metaphor for modern parenting, and a sudden musical interlude when Embert’s neighbor starts mowing the lawn mid-recording.
Of course, his grandson gets dragged into the mix again—this time for thinking the moon landing was fake and using words like “vibe check” in actual conversation. Embert doesn’t quite understand what a vibe check is, but he’s pretty sure it involves doing absolutely nothing and getting paid for it.
As always, Embert stumbles, grumbles, and fumbles his way through, but by the end, he circles back to something that sounds suspiciously like wisdom: “We didn’t have mental health days—we had ‘shut up and get back to work’ days. And you know what? We survived. Mostly.”
Tune in for another completely off-the-rails, oddly comforting dose of Embert’s rants, rambles, and reluctant wisdom. No agenda. No outline. Just Embert being Embert.
It’s Embert – Season 4 Episode 3: You Call That Parenting?
This week on It’s Embert, your favorite cranky old man with a mic is back to rip into the disaster we now call “parenting.” In Season 4, Episode 3, Embert stumbles, rants, and eventually barrels his way through one of his most passionate topics yet: the complete collapse of common sense in raising children.
Remember when “go outside and play” was the default plan, not a punishment? When “because I said so” actually meant something? Well, Embert does—and he's not afraid to remind you how far we’ve fallen. From iPads in shopping carts to kids getting participation trophies for showing up 20 minutes late, this episode is one long, painful look at what happens when you try to raise a generation without rules, structure, or a little bit of fear in their eyes when mom gave “the look.”
Of course, it wouldn’t be It’s Embert without a detour—or three. He somehow ends up on a tangent about powdered milk, tells a story about his dad fixing the furnace in a snowstorm with nothing but duct tape and rage, and naturally, roasts his grandson for thinking oat milk brands are a valid reason to spiral into a "mental health day." ("Back in my day, you drank what you were given and said thank you.")
But beneath the sarcasm and sharp tongue, there’s real wisdom: discipline isn’t abuse, structure builds confidence, and love sometimes looks like being the villain for your kid’s own good. He even offers practical advice—but not before ripping into TikTok dads, absentee fathers, and a whole generation more worried about “gentle parenting” than actual parenting.
As always, Embert takes a few swings at both political sides, makes it personal, loses his place once or twice, and somehow pulls it all back together before the credits roll. Classic chaos. Classic Embert.
Highlights include:
- Why kids today don’t fear consequences—and why they should
- “Back in my day” parenting lessons that still hold up
- A personal rant about fatherhood, responsibility, and showing up when it’s hard
- The moment Embert completely forgets what he was saying, then recovers like nothing happened
- Bonus: Embert’s grandson makes an appearance (in story form, of course)—and gets roasted
If you're a parent, grandparent, or just someone screaming at the world to “act right,” this episode is for you. No safe spaces here—just truth, grit, and one old man refusing to give in to the madness.
New episodes drop regularly—as long as Embert’s still alive, the mic still works, and society gives him something to yell about. Stay tuned.
That caught your eye, didn't it? Well, this isn't about Embert having gay sex, rather the Senator Ben Cardin having sex with a staffer in the Senate. Embert goes off the deep end, as one expects him to, as he gives us all the what for about this situation.
You read that right. Embert starts going off the deep end about neck (and face) tattoos and literally vomits while recording. Edit? Nah. Why?
Embert literally has to take extra blood pressure medication after learning that the treasonous now former state of Colorado dared to say the great President Trump cannot be on the ballot. There will be many arrested, charged with treason, and put to death upon conviction. Embert is ready to help speed the process along.
Embert finds a website with one dumb law in each of the 50 states and starts to comment on each of them until he is interrupted by his cat puking not once, but twice, and has to deal with that fiasco. In the end, a meltdown.
Embert's back contrary to popular fear that he's dead from his long vacation from the "internets". This is just a "no I'm not dead" kind of episode to kick off Season 3, but be will be much more involved now!
Embert discusses new "revealings" about how smartphones are actually making kids dumb, even if they don't use them and their peers do. Based on a true story, Embert delves into the wicked world of technology and kids. Which is worse? Ask Embert!
A published article (https://www.theepochtimes.com/legislation-in-texas-could-make-voter-fraud-a-felony_4865527.html) says Texas wants to make voter fraud a felony which comes with a sentence of up to 20 years in prison. Embert supports this and wants to take it one step further and have it classified as what it realistically is... treason... which has one and only one penalty... Embert is recruiting support for his version of the Bill.
Short, tough, and to the point. Embert’s shortest podcast of all time. Embert is downright pissed at the election results and feels Americans did not do their part OR that it’s all fraud. He’s right about one or the other. It seems the latter is likely. Hang on to your britches because we haven’t heard him this upset ever.
Embert spews intelligent advice about how you should vote and what you should consider. If you vote Democrat, you need to be aware of a few things including the true end to America (reinforced).
Embert goes Twitter Blue @twitterblue and review’s the new product that was officially released today for $4.99 to $7.99 per month by Elon Monks (Musk). Spoiler Alert: Embert is pretty pleased.
Embert welcomes Mr. Monks (Musk) officially to Twitter as its new owner and lays out what he expects to see happen on the new Twitter. Also, he'll issue a stern warning to Facebook, Meta, Snapchat, and Tik Tok while praising Parler, Truth Social, and of course Twitter... now... that it is under control of a free speech believer. Embert predicts the future of the other platforms if they do not follow suit with the new Twitter.
Embert thanks Elon Musk (or Monks as he says because he just can't get it right) for his Starlink announcement. Even though Embert feels the US government shouldn't be sending more funds to Ukraine or anyone else until this country is self-sufficient again, he praises Elon for not pulling the plug when the US government fails to aid the Ukrainian PEOPLE instead of their government.
Embert, a recently forced out of retirement man tackles the Social Security increase pending for 2023 and spouts off about it.
PayPal thought it would get away with charging $2,500 per violation for misinformation and Embert took them out behind the barn and kicked their asses. PayPal has REVERSED its intended policy change. You're welcome!
A truck accident causes candy to spread all over the highway, but Embert is more concerned about the dangers of fentanyl in Halloween candy. This is the most serious episode Embert has ever released! Listen and share PLEASE!
Welcome to the launch of SEASON TWO! It's Embert! Embert needs your vote. Find out what for.
Embert treads lightly into the abortion debate, but not triggered by what you might expect. You also might find that you struggle and play tug of war with your conflicting opinions as Embert does. A serious topic, but delivered in Embertese, so challenging but worth listening!
From a quarter to $40, Embert gives us the history of his lawn mowing costs as well as some beneficial advice to parents.
Off the deep end, as you should expect, Embert points the finger at the people responsible for the baby formula shortages and gives some very important advice to moms that are making their own baby formula from scratch. It's worth listening to the end!
Embert hears all the cries from the poor souls that took out student loan debt only to find they can't pay for it. Embert has some simple advice on how to pay for it or eliminate it with minimal impact to taxpayers. What could it be? Listen/watch and find out!
Today, Embert gives his thoughts on Elon Musk (or Monks as he calls him despite all the practice runs) taking over ownership of Twitter. He also records this entire episode with his microphone on the floor (which amazingly still recorded well), realizes it at the end, and cuts out his own audio while talking about it. It also sounds like he breaks wind toward the end as he leans forward, but it has been verified this was the chair, not wind breaking... although he does burp at one point in the show... again... and explains how jelly beans are the culprit. Oh, Embert!
Brandon Puckett lost his wallet in Fort Wayne, IN while attending a baseball game. It turns out it was wedged between the seats and was found eight months later by an employee. Embert is overjoyed to see that there is some good left in this world, jaded by the events of the past several years. This is a case of "Let's Go Brandon" meant for an actual Brandon in a good way.
Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida's Senate approved removing Walt Disney's special privileges which will now force them to pay billions in taxes if it doesn't fall through or get reversed on a commitment from Disney. Embert is all excited. He knows he can't move to Florida because Weird AF News cautions against it with their Florida Fridays, but he knows this will be a financial boost for the citizens of Florida. What to do? What to do?
Embert learns that a Texas woman tried to buy a baby at Walmart for $500,000 and he GOES OFF! He also talks about sex trafficking and gives some tips on how to help your kids avoid being kidnapped. He also tells us about the time HE was kidnapped at age 4. Embert's on fire as usual!
Today, Embert is giving his opinion on drug use and abuse. While he delivers his message in typical Embertese, his opinions might surprise you. Embert also talks about the website https://help.org and suggests visiting it if you do have a drug or alcohol addiction. But this isn't all lectures and such from Embert. Be amazed!
Today, Embert answers questions from three fans (below) for his Easter show. Send Embert an email to embert@itsembert.com with your questions, comments, or topics you'd like him to cover! Happy Easter!!
Questions:
Hey embert I hope you have a fun easter. So my mom said for easter we are getting chicken from the grocery store deli and potato wedges. I told her it is easter and we have to have ham and I expect her to make a ham or I am not eating anything. She said I am out of control. What do you think? Tammy
Embert, will your grandson be on any shows with you? Thx, David
Dear Mr. Embert,
What did you do for work before you retired? How many jobs did you have? My generation tends to have a lot of jobs for only a year or two at a time. I don’t understand why.
Love your show!
Dianna
In this episode, Embert gives a real solution to inflation, so easy that you'll kick yourself for not coming to terms with it yourself long, long ago. Whether it's a new car, gasoline, groceries... anything... Embert will give you "the secret" to completely squashing inflation. It takes a village... so be sure to share this insightful information with everyone you know, and ask them to do the same!
Embert becomes enraged when he sees a video on Twitter of a gay student at school being bullied. He tells us about "back in his day" how the kids decided someone was gay. But he has uncovered the secret to spot someone that is probably gay or curious without saying a word. It's pretty scientific!
If you're listening to the podcast rather than the video, visit https://twitter.com/ItsEmbert/status/1515076813961277442 to see the post on Twitter that Embert is referring to.
NOTE: This is not a video about HOW TO bully people nor does Embert encourage it AT ALL!
Embert has been watching Angry Grandma on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/c/AngryGrandma) and just loves everything about her and her mischievous grandson Jake. Embert shares some highlights about Angry Grandma and recommends her. He isn't paid to recommend her. He doesn't say it on the video/podcast, but he would love to go on a date with her! LOL (Also on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TheAngryGrandmaYoutube)
Embert ordered some "Digestive Biscuits" from Amazon expecting something comparable to Pillsbury. That's not what he got when he ordered food that comes from the United Kingdom! He'll explain so you won't make the same mistake he did!
Embert explains how we started this podcast after learning about Anchor at Anchor.FM. In this episode, he talks about the podcaster Jonesy who runs the Weird AF News podcast.
Embert knows Sugar Daddy as a candy, but today, he learns that it has a whole different definition when a prospective Juror in the Parkland school shooter trial says she can't do jury duty because she has to see her sugar daddy daily. He is not pleased.
Embert answers viewer/listener questions in this episode:
Dear Embert,
Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they of? If not, do you want one? If not, what if you were forced to get one. What would you get it of?
Hi Embert!
I like your show so far. I hope it is a big hit! Have you ever eaten someone’s lunch at work or has someone ever eaten yours? I have a coworker that does that all the time. Can I do something like give her a laxative? Kelly
Embert, there’s this girl I wanna ask out. I’m only 22 so I am shy. What’s a good pickup line? I was thinking of saying hey baby let’s roll. What do you think? Danny
This is Embert's official debut video. OMG, we have to do something about the lighting. His face looks ghost white. He only had his upper dentures in so he sounds like it. He's wearing sunglasses because he's mad about the bright light on to help the video (well, maybe not so much help it appears), and he complains because he doesn't have his blue sweater which he loves to wear constantly! OMG his lips!! He looks like a total ghost. Anyhow, he's covering the whole Will Smith/Chris Rock scandal in this first official video!