The Vanessa Londino Podcast: Recent Episodes

Vanessa Londino

I'm on the path with you. Every Monday, we dive into topics that arise from my therapy sessions throughout the week. My clients are my inspiration, and their stories are OUR stories. This podcast will break down and unpack the deep and theoretical world of psychology into understandable, common sense information you can use throughout your week. It all starts with knowing yourself and taking personal responsibility. We're getting healthier, stronger, more grounded, and more resilient. Together.

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We talk a lot about healing on this podcast. Healing from depression... anxiety... trauma. What if I told you that healing from schizophrenia was possible? Naturally? Without drugs? From inner work? Today's guest will prove me right. Tracey has walked one of the bravest roads and come out of it healed and helping others to heal. She tells her story of how healing is possible for everyone who's willing to dig in deep. WARNING: Extremely graphic stories of abuse. Please listen with caution.

To request a podcast topic or learn more about online groups: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

Tracey's website: https://www.fullrecoveryfromschizophrenia.ca

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"It's a chemical imbalance!" "It's hereditary." "I'm predisposed to it..." We've been told so many complicated, unhelpful reasons for why we suffer in life. Our mental and emotional distress leads us to therapist after therapist, and it can feel hopeless. Their diagnoses give us no information about what went wrong in our lives, just the shameful insinuation that something is wrong with us. We believe the best we can do is manage our symptoms. I'm here to tell you... you can heal.

For more information on the online group starting up, click here: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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This week I have the honor of interviewing one of my earliest inspirations in this field. I met Virgil Stucker, then the Executive Director of Cooper-Riis healing community in Asheville, NC, when I was just an intern. The impact of that meeting and the subsequent visit to Cooper-Riis changed me forever and set my feet on a path of helping others in the most humane and effective way possible. Simply put, this interview will make you a better person.

To be part of an online group, click here: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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The current moment is telling us: "You don't need a relationship. You don't need anyone. You need to be perfectly fine alone." But is that realistic? For a species that is as socially complex and needy as human beings, is the idea that we can thrive without intimacy reality or fantasy? This week we take a look at what it takes for a relationship to truly be a healing presence in our lives and the work it takes to build that.

For online groups, click here: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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This interview is one I've been chomping at the bit to bring to you! Erin Watt, a masterfully skilled and highly sought after relationship coach, is our guest this week, and believe me when I say: she brings it! Get ready to learn concepts that are going to change and better how you see yourself in relationships. Get ready to feel empowered and encouraged to pursue your relationships with the skill you need to help them thrive. Erin breaks down our highest potential and our most frequent pitfalls in a friendly, approachable, and intelligent way. (And yours truly owns the mistakes I'm making in my own relationship!!) Here's where you can find Erin: https://www.innerrae.com/Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/innerraeTo get more information on our healing group online: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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The old saying goes, "You can't really love someone until you can love yourself." This week we unpack this and ask ourselves, "Is this really true?" Can we only love someone if we’ve learned how to love ourselves? Are we capable of love if we’ve never formed it within? Let me know what you think! thepodcast@vanessalondino.com And write to me here if you want to be featured on “Ask V!” Link to purchase the Toolbox for Valentine's Day: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3831V3QHDOZ5C&keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1707711857&sprefix=vanessa+lon%2Caps%2C170&sr=8-1

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This week I address a question a listener sent me on Instagram. Heather is facing a dilemma with a friend who's really changed. She feels distant and even mistreated. So the question arose: how long do we stick in there with someone and when is it okay to say, “Enough is enough?” We look at dramatic changes in personality from a psychological lens, and we also examine what it means to be a friend and who do we really need in our lives? Click here to schedule a time to call in and "Ask V!” thepodcast@vanesssalondino.comClick here to order the Toolbox for Valentine's Day! https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ZRPWC75U8T0K&keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1707105261&sprefix=vanessa+londin%2Caps%2C160&sr=8-1

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This week we have the distinct honor of having Michael Giles as our guest. He's a therapist, a coach, an Army Captain, and he's a dog-lover, so we know he's good people! We dive into the experience of working with men in therapy and what the specific needs of men are. We agree about most things! Michael is skilled, experienced, thoughtful, and fair. You're going to learn a lot and love this interview. To read the article we reference in the podcast, click here:  https://www.mg-counseling.com/blog/an-apology-to-men-on-behalf-of-therapists-counseling-texasHere's his website: https://www.mg-counseling.com/Here's the link to purchase his book: https://www.amazon.com/Relationship-Repair-Men-Counterintuitive-relationships/dp/B0C4MJ5D89/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1TDWZ1FWH248Q&keywords=michael+giles&qid=1706496782&sprefix=michael+giles%2Caps%2C167&sr=8-1*** There is still space available in the Naturopathic Psychotherapy group! We are starting February 3rd. Send me an email if you want more information: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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Unfortunately, the field of mental health is susceptible to gimmicks, just like any other industry. Today we focus on the basic, time-tested pillars of mental health versus the quick fixes that get you nowhere. Mental health is not a birthright. It's not inherited. It's not easy. Like physical health, mental health takes work and commitment. Frankly, it's hard work. It's much easier to make excuses for ourselves than it is to confront ourselves and truly grow, just like it's a lot easier to sit on the couch and not work our bodies. But mental health is accessible to all who are willing to put in the time, patience, and commitment to living a mentally healthy lifestyle.

For information on NP groups: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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Happy New Year to all! This week, we take a thorough look at what we're carrying with us into 2024 and what we need to let go of. Carrying extra weight will slow us down, causing us to lose focus on our dreams and goals. We talk about what "baggage" means and how to live light and free. So many of us carry the burden of others' choices as well as the untenable weight of the past. Today we talk about how to let it all go.

To learn more about the Naturopathic Psychotherapy group, starting this year: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

The study I referenced: https://annals-general-psychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12991-022-00406-1

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This week we have a special guest: Dr. David Thornton. David is a licensed clinical pastoral therapist and an expert in spiritual abuse. At a time of year when so many are observing religious traditions and searching for God, it's also a time of year when many get in touch with their own emptiness and longing for something beyond us. This week, we take a deep look at what it means to be safe on a spiritual level. This interview will have you laughing, crying, and searching your own soul. It's an episode that can't be missed! Please share it with anyone who needs a reason to hope.

David's website: https://davidthorntontherapy.com/

Contact me for information on the group starting in February: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

If you'd like to request a podcast on a particular topic: thepodcast@vanessalondino.com

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The medical industry has completely taken over mental health. That means, instead of looking at root causes of mental distress and treating the whole person, mental health professionals are taught to do what doctors do: diagnose based on symptoms and focus their efforts on lessening the symptoms. I don't work that way, and I don't believe people heal that way. Your symptoms are telling your story and point out the path of healing. They're important. In February 2024, I'm starting an online group because I want you to have the tools you need to get mentally healthy and stay mentally healthy. This episode is about how healing the mind, heart, and soul naturally IS possible for those who are willing to do the work. Here’s the link to contact me and learn more: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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Chances are, we're going to be spending some time around family this time of year. Some of those old triggers come back, and before we know it, we're acting like we did before we ever stepped foot in therapy. Don't despair! The chains of family dysfunction are thick and strong, but you can break them. This week we take a look at how they develop and how to break free.

The article I referenced: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-parents-rsquo-trauma-leaves-biological-traces-in-children/

Purchase the Toolbox: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3CKW24Y6T3ZDY&keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1701657648&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C408&sr=8-1

Get info about Naturopathic Psychotherapy groups: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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The nature of human beings is: we internalize the voices we surround ourselves with. As we start winding down this year and enter into the holiday season, it's a good time to consider: whose voices are allowed in your life? Whose messages have you internalized to be your own? This has a remarkable impact on our mental health.

To order the Toolbox: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=KQW80JOB4TXC&keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1700455403&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C168&sr=8-1

To learn more about the online group starting in 2024: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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Growing up in a bilingual family taught me something: if you don't speak the language, you miss out on practically everything. This week we take a deep dive into the anatomy of the brain - how men's and women's brains are naturally and beautifully different - and how that affects our communication styles. We take an honest look at the expected "norm" in our society where communication is concerned and how to become... bilingual. Hint: it means using more of your brain. (You're gonna want to share this one with a member of the opposite sex.)

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The global state of mental health is in decline as more people than ever before report living with chronic mental distress, more people are on psychotropic medications, and more are dying by suicide, not less. Effective therapists are in high demand, yet graduate programs are churning out new therapists who are trained to diagnose and treat the diagnosis rather than the human being. The model and approach clearly aren't working, but the train keeps barreling down the tracks. What are new therapists being taught? This week, I sit down with Hannah and Kate, two women who are in the process of becoming therapists. One in grad school, one just out, they share their reasons for entering the field and what, they are learning, it's going to take to be effective. I'll confess: their compassion and intuition gave me hope that the human being is still the most essential requirement, not the degree.

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In this episode, we take a deep dive into what makes dysfunctional families dysfunctional and when it's time to cut things off. We examine the responsibilities of parents and the rights of children and what happens in role reversals, when children become responsible for the emotional wellbeing of their parents. Not all family situations require a full cut off, but are families wholly unaccountable because of their status as "family"? You decide.

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This week, Jared finally caved and accepted my invitation to interview him on the podcast. Yes: Jared, the editor, who is also my beloved husband. His story is compelling, and his voice is real and genuine. Our relationship started with all the usual joy and happy anticipation, but Jared had developed a habit that was holding him back and keeping us outside of the intimacy we both wanted. In this episode, Jared walks us through his decision to seek therapy and how the ripple effect of this work has changed every part of his life and transformed our relationship.

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When someone says, "I don't really get angry," this should be a red flag. Anger is a vital, functional human emotion, but it is vastly and consistently misunderstood. This week, we take a deep dive into the healthy purpose of anger and an even deeper dive into the dysfunctional expressions of anger: the explosive type and the suppressed type. So whether you can get aggressive or passive aggressive, this episode is for you!

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Have you ever said, "I'm okay" when what you were really saying was "I'm not even close to okay"? This week, we pull back the layers of denial, fear, and shame that keep us from getting the help we desperately need. Then we look at the growth process... what does it really mean to be okay? And can we ever get okay with that?

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Most of the time, when people say they want to work on communication, they mean they want to improve on how they express themselves. This is worthwhile work! But the other side of communication, the "silent partner," is how we listen. Today we dive into the relational dynamics and some light neurobiology on the practice and skill of listening. This has the power to change our relationships and our lives. And the good news is: it's totally within our control.

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You're doing your work. You're coming out of denial. You're starting to see your patterns and coping mechanisms. AND... you're starting to realize your family of origin ain't changing all that much. What to do? This week we tackle the delicate and confusing moments that arise when we're trying to do things differently, but at home it's the same old song and dance. Never fear! There are many pathways forward.

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This week I explain the devastating loss Jared and I just endured and some of the lessons learned from pain. We seek joy in our lives, understandably, and we avoid pain. What we are actually avoiding is a cave of tears and treasure. Learning how to grieve, receive, process pain, and be gentle with ourselves is part of coming back into emotional balance in the wake of hardship.

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This week, we take a look at the human propensity for self-deception and how the field of mental health is colluding with delusional thought. Our sanity depends on the commitment each and every one of us makes to REALITY, regardless of who the "experts" are.

For information on the Toolbox Workshop: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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Here we are at the midway point of the year. How's it going? This week, we tackle one of the most overlooked but essential elements of a mentally stable life: your support system. No, it's not necessarily your brunch pals. It may not be your childhood friends. You support system is comprised of the people in your life who help you carry the weight. Everyone needs a support system, but most of us weren't taught how to build one. After listening to this episode, you'll know how.

Toolbox Workshop info: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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Going to therapy isn't the magic bullet some would believe it to be. Successful therapy doesn't just identify mental and emotional distress, it seeks to resolve it through two distinct processes: insight and effort. This week, we unpack the two most important tasks of psychotherapy. We dive into what makes therapy a worthwhile investment and what makes it a waste of time. Most importantly, we look at the mechanics of transformation. It's not magical. There's a logic to it.

Learn more about the Toolbox workshop: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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This week, we examine the most difficult layer of inner work and the powerful "domino effect" that doing this work has on our lives. Most will never do it. Most are content to live their lives on the surface of things. But for those who who are brave enough to face their shadow, the greatest freedom and clarity awaits.

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I posted this question on my Instagram story - "What's the worst advice you've ever received?" - and it sparked some serious feedback from y'all, so I decided to pick the best of the worst advice you sent me and talk about why the advice was so bad. Advice - both seeking it and requesting it - comes down to our relationship with authority, so this week we dive into Dr. Diana Baumrind's three styles of parental authority and how that shapes our relationship with authority figures in general. We go one step further and take a look at the interpersonal dynamics of power, and what kind of power we allow others to have over us.

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In the annals of bad advice, this might be up there with the worst of the worst. Like telling an emotionally dysregulated person to "calm down," the words "get over it" have been said millions of times. You have to wonder... how many times have they worked? I'd bank on zero. If something is signficant enough to cause long term emotional distress, chances are it's not something we can just "get over." This week we unpack this bad advice - what it really means and, more importantly, how to actually process our wounded places. Instead of expecting us to propel our hearts OVER a wound, let's talking about getting THROUGH it. (Please bear with my frog voice! I'm still getting over laryngitis!)

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Communication forms the basis for connection. The more skilled we are as communicators, the better our chances are at forming meaningful, lasting, and deepening connections. This week, we take a look at one major reason why communication breaks down: we don't know the difference between our thoughts and our feelings. Confusing these two important flows of information confounds our communication and makes emotional connection almost impossible. While we journey toward mental and emotional strength, we need to grasp this all-important concept and decide, starting now, we're going to be more precise and accurate as we communicate the contents of our inner world.

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This week it's more personal. Rather than a deep dive into theory or the latest waste of time in the world of pop-psychology, I share an intimate lesson I've learned in the past year or so that solidified in my mind during a recent session. So many of us acclimated to harsh life conditions and we live our lives as if we're still fighting those battles. This week I introduce a different way of living. Away from our engrained trauma responses and survival skill sets and into a more peaceful, trusting, connected way of life. This is one I'm learning with you in real time.

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This week, we take a deep look at the choice each and every one of us has if we want to grow more mentally and emotionally healthy: whether or not we choose to LEARN. We may want quick steps, a fast track toward feeling better, but I believe it's safe to say that anyone who's selling you quick and easy is making a buck off of your pain. The reality is: it takes a lifetime to become who we are. It takes a commitment to living and LEARNING to reach our potential as human beings and transcend the things that have weighed us down. There are no short cuts. This week, we face what it really takes.

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It's not a subject we touch on frequently, but it's one we need to look at: the deep and lasting imprint of our family of origin, namely our parents. We lovingly and protectively resist attacking or blaming our parents for weaknesses and wounds, but in the effort to keep our family narrative unsullied, we fail to process our own experiences - good and bad - and our healing falters. This week, we address the very real and lasting impact and responsibility parents have with their children and why we need to keep talking about it.

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This week, I chat with an old friend and new author, AnneMarie Anderson, as she walks us through the logic and passion of her new book, "Brain Sex." Slicing through the cultural confusion and social stigmas, AnneMarie breathes new life and common sense into a much needed conversation about sex. She invites us to address and readdress the topic of our sexuality with our bodies AND our brains. Be prepared to be challenged. Be prepared to have your assumptions shaken. This book is succinct and potent. Expect your conversations about sex to change. A lot.

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We're living in a society where we are enticed, tempted, and invited to sink into a subtle narcissism and take on a victim mindset, every single day. This is what the new mental health system is peddling: the notion that your situation is out of your control, your LIFE is out of your control, and the only way forward is to see yourself as a victim, passively accept help, or narcissistically see your pain as some kind of exceptional anomaly. The reality is: most of us are just living life on life's terms. And it's hard. This week we dive into the latest idea to hit the cultural landscape that turns personal accountability on its head (again). We're all supposed to act and think like victims, and this is supposed to win us mental health. It will not. This week, we talk about the subtle attack on our adulthood and how to not fall for the tricks.

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Last Thursday, I had a difficult conversation with a family member that left me feeling sad, disappointed, and exhausted. After processing the experience with safe people in my support system, something was missing. It wasn't until I realized that a much younger version of me needed some healing attention that things started to feel like they were coming around to a resolution. The Inner Child is not a "sweet idea." It's not an imaginary playmate. And it's not psychobabble. The child we once were still resides inside each one of us, often in the form of our deepest needs. This week, we dive into inner child work as a healthy response to triggers. If we're going to learn how to love ourselves in a healthy way, we need to learn how to love who we were at every stage, not just who we are now.

BIG SHOUT OUT to my listeners in Australia and Hungary! You are the top two nations listening besides the United States! Keep sharing this podcast! THANK YOU!!!

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In the wake of the Nashville school shooting, we are understandably brought once again to the seemingly unanswerable question: what in the world drives people to do this? The common answer from armchair therapists everywhere is: "childhood trauma." No. That's not it. Many of us were traumatized, and we didn't become violent. So what is it? This week, we look at the real reason people turn to violence. Here's the bad news: our society is on a slow march to more and more violent crime if we don't stop this in its tracks. Here's the good news: we can stop this in its tracks. The choice is yours.

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How do we really find rest? Is a good night's sleep? A massage? A quiet afternoon with a book? It's much simpler than that, but we can easily miss it. This week, we dive into the real path to finding rest and my own lessons learned in the past couple of weeks. I slipped into a pattern that needed to be stopped, and it got me thinking: do we over-complicate self-care? (We do.) Stunning in its simplicity, the best way to care for ourselves is as obvious as the breath in our bodies.

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This week, we have a real treat for our listeners. A listener named "Kathy" wrote into the podcast asking for help with a specific issue, but it's an issue about which your favorite podcast host doesn't have a body of knowledge! So... I made a call. I just happened to have a friend who just happens to be an expert on this very issue, and she generously took the time to give her mind and heart to this audience. If you have ever struggled with body dissatisfaction (who hasn't?), image issues, and/or an eating disorder, today is for you! And it's for Kathy - who is an inspiration to all of us. She's doing the work. She's asking questions. And she's showing us what a commitment to growth looks like. This week, my guest is Courtney Grimes.

Courtney's therapy practice: https://www.mycollectivecare.com/

Courtney's nonprofit: https://renewedsupport.org/

Register for the Toolbox Workshop: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/516328722107

Buy the Toolbox: https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1

If you want to request a topic, email me at: thepodcast@vanessalondino.com

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Did anyone see "Triangle of Sadness?" (Me neither.) This week, we're not focusing on the Oscar nominated film, but we ARE talking about the single biggest drama-producing, madness-inducing dynamic present in every single dysfunctional relationship. We're going to dive into the roles we get ourselves into that make our relationships feels like pinball machines, bouncing back and forth and never settling. And lastly, we're going to focus on how to STOP THE MADNESS and return to sanity once again. The triangle of madness is like the Bermuda Triangle; you can get lost in it. But not after today! After today's podcast, you'll have the map to get out and stay out of it for good. (And tune in for a respectable shout out to Generation X!)

Register for the workshop here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/516328722107

Follow me on Instagram: @vanessathetherapist

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This week we take a look at both the necessity and the process of developing self-compassion. Between self-knowledge, which is essential for mental health, and self-love, which is the goal of mental health, is self-compassion. This is the all-important middle step. This is where we learn that our pain matters and we begin to give ourselves what we've craved from others: loving attention. Without compassion, our pain gnaws at us. With compassion, we develop an internal respect that heals our deepest wounds. And also listen for an inspiring letter from a listener! (The self-compassion meditation starts at 29:51.)The Toolbox Workshop: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/516328722107Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vanessathetherapist/

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Now that life feels back to normal after the worldwide COVID pandemic, we look at where we are as a human race. Did we progress or regress over the last few years? Perhaps we can make the case for both, but in this episode I'm going to look at the pandemic that slipped under the radar and infected all of our minds: emotional reasoning. This dangerous relationship with our subjective reality - where we believe everything we feel - has eclipsed rational thought and rendered people more vulnerable to mental distress. We're seeing surges of mental illness like we never have before. This week, I tackle the complex cognitive distortion known as emotional reasoning and give the listener the tools you need to resist emotional manipulation and retain a sound mind. 

Register for the Toolbox Workshop here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/516328722107

Follow me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/vanessathetherapist/

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What are you made of? What qualities and decisions got you through your hardest times? The hardship we face in our lives has the ability to refine us into gold or define us as victims. When we focus on our struggles without noticing our strengths, we're only telling ourselves half the story. This week, we tackle the qualities in our humanity that allow us to overcome. We're going to look at grit: where passion meets perseverance. And we're going to unfold and discover the well of strength we all have within us to stay with our goals, overcome any obstacle, and truly thrive.

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Shame is a painfully universal experience. Every living human being battles feelings of shame, thoughts of being inadequate, not measuring up, being "bad," weak, or inherently unlovable. It grows inside us from childhood. Every shaming word, every experience of failure, every moment of abuse (if there was abuse), and comparison with others drives home the message: "You're not good enough." Sometimes it's just, "You're not good." It's like a bubble in the middle of our lives, inflating without our knowledge and growing without pause. Until we put an end to it. This week we're going to take a pin to the bubble of shame! We've got to take it on. We don't have to live like this. So many of the qualities and experiences we shame ourselves for are simply normal parts of the human experience. It's time we stop hurting ourselves inwardly for merely being human.

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This week, we dive into the root causes of anxiety. So often, it's rooted in a belief that life is supposed to be pleasurable, easy, and satisfying all the time. This is a recipe for anxiety. Or we think that we're supposed to have an easy time of it, that things should generally go in our favor. This also is a recipe for anxiety. And then we feel anxious because we're anxious, and it's a miserable soup. Instead, let's take a look at the reality of how life really is, the nature of human beings, and the secret skill everyone can learn that reduces anxiety forever.

Sign up for The Toolbox Workshop here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-toolbox-workshop-tickets-516328722107

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This week, we have the distinct honor of hearing Jeremy Lister tell us about his journey from addiction to sobriety to self-love to ongoing self-care. Jeremy is a living example of the miracle of recovery. I remember hearing it said in a 12-step meeting, "Recovery simply means recovering what was lost." Jeremy walks us through his journey of losing much and then gaining even more. His humility, common sense, and gut level honesty drive the message home: we can change our lives, one day at a time. 

Sign up for the Toolbox Workshop here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-toolbox-workshop-tickets-516328722107

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The field of mental health spends more time identifying illnesses than focusing on health. We address symptoms, but we never seem to focus on the conditions required for human beings to thrive. In this episode, we're going to bottom line it: what conditions are necessary for humans to thrive? (There are basically two.) And we're going to talk about how you can create the conditions required in your own life for your own thriving. The goal isn't the absence of mental illness. The goal is health.

The Harvard interview: https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/20/04/harvard-edcast-benefit-family-mealtime

Register for the Toolbox Workshop: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-toolbox-workshop-tickets-516328722107?aff=ebdsoporgprofile

Sign up for the blog: www.vanessalondino.com

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Folks have some interesting ideas about human emotions! "They're all irrelevant." "Emotions do not represent truth." "Your emotions are not valid." No, they're not. Well, sometimes they do. And yes, they are. Today we dive into the role of human emotions, what we can learn from them, how to work with them, and we take a look at four different personality patterns that cause us to undervalue or overvalue our emotions. What we need is balance. In this week's episode, we get intimate with those pesky things we call emotions.

The Finnish study (I mistakenly said it was Norway): https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/12/30/258313116/mapping-emotions-on-the-body-love-makes-us-warm-all-over

* Register for the Toolbox here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-toolbox-workshop-tickets-516328722107

Purchase the Toolbox here: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1ZMIA8MCJH5Z3&keywords=the+toolbox+vanessa+londino&qid=1673843052&sprefix=the+toolbox+vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C262&sr=8-1

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This week, we dive into the internal sense of the self that allows us to relate to others. Just as the physical body has parameters, we explore what that means in the realm of the mental/emotional self. When we are caring for ourselves, who or what exactly are we caring for? And when we set boundaries, what exactly are we protecting? What is the self? Why is it worth protecting? We need a point of reference. In this week's episode, I walk through my own development of an internal point of reference, and I give practical steps to developing a sense of yourself you can know and preserve.

Click here to learn more about a Toolbox workshop:

https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

Click here to purchase The Toolbox:

https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1

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Happy new year! For our first episode of 2023, we take a deep dive into what it means to actually reform and reinvent yourself. I'm going to challenge the notion that you need a "new you" in this new year, but we DO get into what actually needs to change if we're going to evolve more and more into an authentic version of ourselves. This week, we take a look at the power of our narratives and the autonomy we possess to change.

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Well, Folks! We're winding down our year with a final installment of the yearly inventory. This week, we're going to look at how far we've come. All changes aren't happy ones. Sometimes the toughest decisions we've made this year have amounted to the most growth and peace we'll experience going forward in 2023. THANK YOU for allowing me to be a part of your lives and your passage forward. Congratulations on making it through another year! I'll be with you next week in 2023.

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Our third week of taking our yearly, personal inventory... this week we look at the Fun & Play in our lives, our Finances, and our Home Environment. All three areas will have a direct and significant effect on our mental health.

PURCHASE THE TOOLBOX HERE:

https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2L0L1KX3WJ6UO&keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1671420164&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C183&sr=8-1

SIGN UP FOR TOOLBOX WORKSHOPS HERE:

https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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This week we dive deeply into inventorying our life's work, our community engagements, and our holistic health. Let's ask ourselves how we're doing in these areas. It's so easy for us to turn on auto-pilot and just live day to day without much conscious thought. The yearly inventory gives us a chance to stop the craziness of life and ask ourselves: how's it going? In various dimensions of life, we need a focused amount of time to look at where we've come and plan ahead. Growth happens on purpose.

Purchase the Toolbox here:

https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+toolbox+vanessa+londino&qid=1670817890&sprefix=the+toolbox+vanessa+%2Caps%2C162&sr=8-1

Sign up for Toolbox workshops here:

https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact

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This week, after sharing some details about a significant breakthrough I experienced, we dive into our annual, year-end inventory. We examine two dimensions of human experience: our spirituality and our love/intimacy in relationships.

Order the Toolbox here:

https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1670208641&sprefix=vanessa+lon%2Caps%2C152&sr=8-1

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Well this episode was fueled by guilt! I mulled over this all week... I spoke about the holidays with such enthusiasm in my last podcast, and that was so insensitive to folks who dread the holidays with every fiber of their being. Indeed, they are a tough time of year for many. When I reflected on it, I realized I used to dread the holidays too, but for years now - with healthy relationships in my life and better boundaries - I've looked forward to the holiday season with joy. This week, we explore the major mistakes I made during past holiday seasons and how those actions made them much harder. From jumping back into old family roles to burning the candle at both ends, we'll dive into the reasons so many dread the holidays and how to do it differently this year. I even address going through the holidays alone. (I've done it!) The holidays don't have to deplete us or defeat as we approach the end of the calendar year. This week's podcast is all about how to stay connected to yourself first then others during a busy and often challenging season.

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A recent conversation with a client got me thinking... the therapeutic frame is a term therapists use to describe the elements of therapy that make the relationship and the setting safe and predictable for our clients. Things like length of session, cost, and a non-judgmental stance are elements that our clients count on. This provides the framework for us to do our work. It's got to be predictable. I started thinking about relationships in general: is there a frame? What elements have to be in place for us to be able to trust that our relationships can hold whatever comes at them? What about our relationships needs to be predictable, reliable? If there is a frame, what exactly do we have to do to uphold it? This week, we dive into the frame that makes our relationships predictable spaces we can count on.

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Nancy wrote me about a month ago requesting an episode on how to do the hard, hard work of breaking the habit of people pleasing. Nancy, this week is for you! People pleasing is a behavioral coping mechanism rooted in our response to fear. We fear rejection, anger, and abandonment, so we train our brains to anticipate and prioritize what others want and give it to them. We do this regardless of what WE need or want, and the effect on our mental health is catastrophic. We become distanced from ourselves, we lose our self-respect, and we don't really believe - deep down inside us - that we're loved unless we're being what others want us to be. This week, we tackle the complexities of people pleasing and outline a real path toward an authentic, guilt-free life.

Give the gift of the Toolbox for the holidays!

https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=J9AFQGX3PW70&keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1668383229&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C244&sr=8-1

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In direct and indirect ways, the debate surrounding transgenderism affects all of us. We have family members, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances who identify as transgender. We hear terms like "dysphoria" and "cis-gendered" tossed around online and sometimes around the dinner table. We see celebrities, politicians, and thought leaders polarize themselves on both sides of this issue, and we feel forced to take a side. We're going about this the wrong way... the path forward is not through angry answers but by honest questions. Classic psychotherapy seeks to understand, and instead of uniting around understanding, we're dividing along ideological lines. This week, I address classic and modern takes on the presentation of gender dysphoria in the therapeutic setting and what it looks like to engage this human experience with curiosity, compassion, and care. Differences between male and female brains: https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/battle-of-the-brain-men-vs-women-infographic Trans brain study: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-there-something-unique-about-the-transgender-brain/ Helena's story of becoming trans and detransitioning: https://lacroicsz.substack.com/p/by-any-other-name Isaac confronts his therapist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pdh62WuXywI

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When Marvin Gaye released "Sexual Healing," he crooned and moaned his message into our heads that we could be healed through sex. This week, our guest Dolly Josette leads us into a discussion on how this truly happens. So many of us live without an integrated sexual self. We've banished sexual knowledge of ourselves and sexual pleasure to the outer realms of our consciousness because we've been wounded, traumatized, or simply because we've never been taught. Our sexuality goes underground, out of sight, and we carry on day to day without this vital part of us in our conscious, daily lives. Dolly is here to change all of that! Through steady, gentle, informed work, Dolly is bringing REAL sexual healing to many. So get ready! In this episode, we delve into conversations around anatomy, touch, stimulation, pleasure, seduction, and wholeness. THIS is how sex can heal. 

Website: https://www.pleasuremuse.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pleasuremuse/

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This week, we continue our exploration of dysfunctional family roles by unpacking the remaining roles: the Scapegoat, the Counselor/Caretaker, the Mascot, and the Lost Child. Our roles develop in an attempt to survive: this is the role we must play if the family unit is going to stay intact. As I've mentioned before, the big problem with roles is that you're rarely allowed to be anything else. Learning our role, admitting what we felt as children, and offering ourselves a conscious choice now - as to how we will behave - is healing. If you want to go directly to each type, here are the time stamps for each.

9:30 - The Scapegoat

32:47 - The Counselor

50:01 - The Mascot

01:03:14 - The Lost Child

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A listener of the podcast requested an episode on dysfunctional family roles. It was too much information for one episode, so I've broken it up into two. This week, we take a look at why and how we develop our dysfunctional roles and we dive into the role of "The Hero." Next week we'll round things out by exploring "The Scapegoat," "The Mascot," "The Lost Child," and "The Counselor." We'll also look at what growth looks like for each role. In the presence of chronic dysfunction, our roles emerge to protect us and and to protect the family system.

NOTE: In the podcast, I mention that there are 77 waterfalls in TN. Correction: there are 874 waterfalls in TN!

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In the wake of my recent nuptials, I embarked on a bit of an emotional roller coaster of joy and sadness that the big day was over! In this episode, I walk you through the experience of complex emotions and the decision I had to make: to sit in it. This week, we tackle one of the hardest skills in the mental health toolbox: the ability and discipline to sit in our emotions and allow them to pass, to really feel them and not medicate, undervalue, or minimize them. This ability - to actually and really feel our feelings - opens us up to emotional maturation in a way that nothing else can. We want to step away from the tough ones AND the good ones and go back to numb neutrality, but we should never, ever do that. This week, we're going to learn how to sit in it.

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So many of the struggles we run into in our relationships happen because we don't really know where the relationship stands. We think a relationship is closer, safer, or even more distant than it actually is. We trust when maybe we shouldn't, and we totally miss the golden opportunities for connection that are staring straight at us. This week we dive into how we can organize our relationships in our minds and hearts in such a way that the time and energy we invest will be going to good use.

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This week we explore the devastating loss EVERYONE endures and how to regain what we've lost. Hardship in life changes us. We dive into the changes that occur, the loss of childhood innocence, and how we can be mentally healthy people who know how to recapture the essence of who we are and how to live. This week, our focus is on the treasure of simplicity.

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Somewhere along the path of our lives, we lose contact with our inner voice. We stop listening to ourselves with curiosity, and we experience a high amount of shame when the wisdom and the pain that live within us speak up. Our episode today focuses on listening and cultivating an inner process you can count on for your whole life. We all receive signals from the body on a daily, even hourly basis. How well we listen to our own bodies will largely determine how we heal.

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Growing mentally stronger involves many dynamics and tasks: self-knowledge, honesty, integrity, and accountability. This week we focus on the one dynamic necessary to make lasting change: celebrating small wins. Too often, we save celebration for momentous affairs, but the truth is, when it comes to mental health and growth, we need to keep our eyes on our every day changes, not the pot of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow. Growing in mental health is all about the process. This week, we unpack why celebrating small wins is absolutely essential.

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This week, we unpack the toxic behaviors that people with a narcissistic personality structure use to control and manipulate. While narcissistic personalities can be "larger than life," they have relatively small toolboxes. Meaning: they don't have a lot of tricks up their sleeves, just the same damaging ones they use time and time again. Once we know what they are, we can be better prepared when we see them coming. We'll examine each tool in detail and then move into how we can protect ourselves from the manipulation.

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Patrick is a talented visionary and entrepreneur in the Nashville design and construction world. His artistry graces the walls of some of the most famous homes in Nashville, but Patrick's journey toward self-satisfaction couldn't rest on work and success alone. He engaged the fight for his own heart when he entered therapy. Instead of merely expecting his hard-earned success to satisfy him, Patrick went deeper. This is a story about how a busy entrepreneur wove healing into every aspect of his life and lives with a different understanding of what success really is.

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We usually associate grief with death, but the truth is: life is a series of griefs. We are always in the process of grasping and grabbing hold of what we want AND letting go. This week, we dive into grief with a different perspective. Sometimes we have to grieve people while they're still living. We aren't grieving their passing; we're grieving that the relationship will never be exactly or even remotely what we want. We're grieving lost connection. We're grieving what can never be, and we're letting go of the fight to make it what we want. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is let go and grieve. I'll walk you through what grief is and how to do it.

Purchase The Toolbox here: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2E62S1J0B32Z6&keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1661137245&sprefix=Vanessa+l%2Caps%2C215&sr=8-1

Follow me on Instagram: @vanessathetherapist

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This week we unpack the patterns of thought that get us into trouble. Using Aaron Beck's classic examples of "cognitive distortions," or distorted ways of thinking, we begin to see how our irrational thoughts can be driving our lives in unproductive ways. Clear-minded thinking is an essential for mental health and mental strength, but sometimes we don't catch the tricky thought traps we've fallen into. By learning what basic cognitive distortions are, we can learn to catch those thoughts and transform them into rational thoughts before they take hold.

Purchase The Toolbox here: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3RYV8LTR6QAP8&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1660489090&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C172&sr=8-1

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This week we explore the important topic of how to stay centered in ourselves amidst the ever-changing landscape of life. We'll look at what it feels like when we aren't in our "core" self, what takes us out of it, and how to get back to our center and stay there. A life uncentered is a life adrift and distracted from being who we truly are. This week's episode will give you the tools to understand what knocks you off course and how to get back on.

Buy the Toolbox:

https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=SXCC7JGUBSYU&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1659935550&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C376&sr=8-1

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Sometimes the most frustrating conflicts we have in our relationships are because we don't know what our rights are. We argue when we should be calmly stating our boundary. We overstep onto others' rights and wonder what we did wrong. This week, we unpack seven core "rights" in relationship and why they're so important. Knowing our rights gives us solid ground to stand on. We can build our relationships without apology or confusion.

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This week, we dive into a recent research study that has absolutely rocked the mental health world. University College London has just released an article based on a multi-year research study in which they conclude THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT DEPRESSION IS CAUSED BY A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE. This is big news. We read the article together, and I break it down for you. It's time to start understanding depression and moving past this harmful, uncompassionate misinformation.

The article: https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2022/jul/no-evidence-depression-caused-low-serotonin-levels-finds-comprehensive-review

The study published in Nature: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-022-01661-0

Order The Toolbox on Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1R99SW6AOFFD2&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1658721548&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C147&sr=8-1

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This week we look at depression and anxiety from a different angle. We all struggle at some point with these things, but what if our expectations are off? What if we, by expecting our lives to be easy and happy, are setting ourselves up for disappointment and dismay? Most of grew up learning that if we were "good" people we'd have good lives. We are shocked and unprepared when life comes at us with its unfairness and harsh reality. In this week's podcast, we reset our expectations where they should be. We are learning to live life on life's terms (hat tip: AA), and we are taking responsibility for ourselves.

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This week, I created the podcast based on an email recommendation from AnneMarie in Colorado. She wrote about her struggles with listening and a history of harsh communication that made it unsafe. This week, we unpack the fundamentals of being a good listener and what gets in our way. We look at listening as part of relationship instead of something we "should" do. It's a response born out of safety and respect. Once we understand our blocks to really listening to others, we can learn this all important skill.

To purchase the Toolbox, click here:

https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3HISETP7K57ES&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1657493488&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C105&sr=8-1

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In this episode, I have the pleasure of interviewing Tina Parol, a Nashville hit songwriter. Tina walks us through her joint journeys of making music and pursuing mental health. Tina is, in every essence of the word, an overcomer. Through difficult decisions, life circumstances, and trial and error, Tina learned that the strongest thing she can be is mentally healthy. In her own words, "When I moved to Nashville, I cared more about my music than I did my life. Now, I care more about my life than my music career." Tina is a walking example of what a successful life looks like when mental and emotional health come first. You don't want to miss this week's interview with the sensational Tina Parol.

Instagram: @Vanessathetherapist

Buy the Toolbox here!

www.bookbaby.com - https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1

www.amazon.com - https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1HIM46UQFJ1DZ&keywords=the+toolbox+vanessa+londino&qid=1655690196&sprefix=the+toolbox%2Caps%2C311&sr=8-1

www.barnesandnoble.com - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-toolbox-vanessa-londino/1141290671?ean=9781736381311

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This week I tackle an important and difficult question: is the field of psychotherapy doing more harm than good? Are we, as therapists, actually helping people? Or is our field, our expensive, time-consuming field, doing harm? Are we giving people the tools they need to live their lives with joy and meaning, or are we merely kicking the can of emotional pain down the road? We have to ask these questions. We have to step back and assess whether or not therapy is worth it. I believe it is, but only if we are proactively and intentionally addressing our pain, only if we are committed to living in reality and all that means.

Instagram: @Vanessathetherapist

Buy the Toolbox here!

www.bookbaby.com - https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1

www.amazon.com - https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1HIM46UQFJ1DZ&keywords=the+toolbox+vanessa+londino&qid=1655690196&sprefix=the+toolbox%2Caps%2C311&sr=8-1

www.barnesandnoble.com - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-toolbox-vanessa-londino/1141290671?ean=9781736381311

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No one escapes it. At some point, we have to deal with toxic people. Toxic people are those whose presence in our lives represents more harm than good. To be in relationship with these people means consistent and significant hardship. This week, we'll answer some important questions: how do I know if someone is toxic? What are the characteristics of a toxic person? How do I leave the relationship, if needed? What kind of boundaries do I need to set?

Buy The Toolbox here!

Support small business: https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1

Buy for the same price on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=33Z0EPFR8TKPA&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1655087347&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1

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This week we explore the things we put off. We often tell ourselves, "It's too late for that," but it's almost never too late to transform your life into a life you love. It's almost never too late to move a relationship toward greater connection and facilitate healing. Our lives are works in progress, always reflecting our inner world. When we realize that it's never, ever too late to be who we want to be, to love who we want to love, or to grow in ways that are meaningful to us, a world of opportunities and options opens. No matter where we are in our lives, it's never too late to do the things that heal us and bring us greater meaning.

Link to the Duke SMILE Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3674785/

WHERE TO BUY THE TOOLBOX:

"The Toolbox" link on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1RJCXKTKFOH9B&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1654479569&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C201&sr=8-1

"The Toolbox" on BookBaby (support small businesses!): https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1

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Victor Frankl famously wrote about his experience in the concentrations camps of the Holocaust. His book, "Man's Search for Meaning," is a harrowing and profound journey from the gates of Hell to finding meaning in the worst of humanity. This, he claims, is what redeems our struggles from the pointless suffering of mankind to a sacred event: the discovery of meaning. This week, we unpack this. What is it that causes us to live with meaning or without it and how can we be people who discover the meaning of OUR lives and live with that integrated sense of purpose within us? What false messages have we learned about meaning, and how can we become people who know how to fill our lives with meaningful experiences and relationships? 

Show notes:

https://theconversation.com/having-a-sense-of-meaning-in-life-is-good-for-you-so-how-do-you-get-one-110361

https://qz.com/1310792/the-secret-to-a-meaningful-life-is-simpler-than-you-think/

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This week, we dive into what it really means to take care of ourselves, otherwise known as "self-care." We look at what it is (reconnection and restoration) and what it's not (selfishness and self-indulgence). The subject of "self-care" has become all the rage, but we're missing the point if we think it means giving ourselves momentary pleasure or indulging our whims. Self-care has the astounding power to reset us and prepare us for the work that life demands. This week, we talk about what it is and how to get the most out of it. 

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This week we explore the topic of shame: what it is and how to get ahead of it in our lives. Most of us believe shame to be solely a "bad" emotion, but we'll take a look at when shame is actually productive and when it's tearing us apart. We'll discuss the dysfunctional ways we cope with shame. Finally, we dive into how to understand our shame so it's not controlling us any more. Shame is a universal experience, but it doesn't have to have control over us. 

(Sorry about the delay in release this week! Technical glitch!)

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Conflicts are inevitable, but so few of us know what to do when conflict arrives in our relationships. We avoid it. We panic and acquiesce. We take over out of fear. We people please. We just break down and scream and fight. This week, we look closely at the tools we need to make conflict work FOR us. This means we are gaining more insight and understanding about the person with whom we're in conflict. It doesn't need to be a bad word. We don't need to dread it. We just need to know what to do... This week we get into the long and the short of conflict.

Purchase The Toolbox here: https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1

Preorder on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3TWYX9G7161JV&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1651452271&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C236&sr=8-1

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This week, our guest is Dr. Brian Hooper. Brian is a licensed clinical pastoral therapist and an ordained Lutheran priest. Earlier in his life, in the process of coming out, Brian learned what it meant and what it costs to become the authentic self. His spirituality served as the bedrock of his growth toward the True Self, and in this episode, Brian expertly weaves his understanding of psychology with a deep, universal, and accessible understanding of the spiritual nature of all humans. Brian shares wisdom gained from years of rigorous study and a life lived with integrity. The result is a podcast filled with so much knowledge, so much wisdom, and so much depth, you're going to need to take notes so you don't miss anything! (I took notes while we chatted.) This week, sit back, grab a warm beverage, and let Brian's soothing, grace-filled words guide you on a deeper path toward yourself.

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This week, we focus on the daily work we must do to keep our minds clear and grounded. Mental health doesn't just take place in therapy sessions and light bulb moments. It's a day-to-day focus of disciplining our minds to think thoughts that are congruent and supportive of our mental and emotional health. We discuss how to distinguish between what feels true and what is true. We look at false beliefs and negative thoughts and talk about how and when they originated. Then we talk through how to halt negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. This week's episode is essential if we want to keep growing every day.

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Our mind can justify anything, but the body never lies. This week's podcast focuses on the inherent wisdom of the body and why and how to listen to it. In the myriad of life decisions we all must make, the body is a safeguard. It warns us when danger is present - both emotional and relational - and our only job is to listen to it. Mental and emotional health is holistic; this means we incorporate the body's innate wisdom into our overview of health. This week's podcast focuses on the wisdom of the body and why we should and can trust it.

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A diet is not a weight loss strategy. It's a word that describes what we take in - day by day - that either fuels us or drains us. The Emotional Diet is a list of the emotional needs you have to live an optimum, emotionally "healthy" life. From the need to be heard to our shared need for community to our deep need for validation, we all share the same emotional needs, in different amounts, at different times. This week, learn what needs you have and ask yourself: are these being met? You need vitamin C. And you need your emotional needs fulfilled. This is being a healthy human being.

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In this episode I interview Angela Wittenberg. Angela is the founder and Executive Director of Hananiah House, a nonprofit that provides housing, support, care, guidance, and healing to women who have recently been released from prison. No stranger to prison work, Angela has been actively involved in a maximum security prison here in Nashville for many years. She's brought a 12-step meeting (ACOA) to the prison, taught anger management classes, and served as as volunteer chaplain. The community knows Angela as counselor, mentor, teacher, fellow traveler, and confidant. Personally, Angela and I became close friends as she sponsored me in the ACA program and walked with me as I took my first passage through the 12 steps. The old saying goes: we go from hurting to healing to helping. Angela shows us how healed people heal people.

To learn more about or make a donation to Hananiah House, click here: https://www.hananiah.house For more information on ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families), click here: https://adultchildren.org

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How do we know when we're making progress? What are some markers of healing? Today we look at seven distinct ways you can know you're on the healing path. We know we're healing when 1. we stop comparing ourselves to others, 2. we stop beating ourselves up, 3. we bounce back more easily, 4. the victim narrative isn't attractive to us anymore, 5. our True Self is present in more areas of our lives, 6. we stop insisting on feeling no fear before we take a risk, and 7. we have in inward smile. The work we're doing should be working. Today we look at markers of real growth.

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This week, we take a deep dive into cultish ideologies and how subtly they can migrate into our belief systems. I'll unpack my own history with cults and the roles that dogma and fear play in our indoctrination into belief systems that can easily be identified as cultish. You don't have to follow a charismatic leader to a tropical forest and drink Kool-Aid to have cultish ideologies. All you need to do is believe that someone else has "the answer" to your pain and the solution to your fear.

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Of all the troubling and trouble-making dynamics we encounter in relationship, this is the one that does the most harm. It's denial. Denial is the wall that stands between our issues and our growth. It's the narrative we tell ourselves when we can't face the truth. This week, we unpack what it is and how to come out of it.

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In this month's interview, we explore how to create healing spaces with Brad Ramsey, a Nashville-based interior designer. Brad is known for the depth and richness of his design. His palates are calming, earthy, and soothing to the soul. But how does he create that? Brad takes us on his own journey of coming out, starting his own business, and finding his "voice" in the design world. We learn about the elements of space that make it a healing space. In everything he does, Brad serves as a mirror for the clients he services. He wants every room to feel like them. And he talks to us about the qualities of personality and design that allow him to do just that. Healing isn't just an inside job. Eventually, the world we create reflects our healing. The first place is our home.

Brad's designs can be found at www.bradramseyinteriors.com

Follow him on Instagram @bradramseyinteriors

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When we think of abandonment, we imagine it means leaving something or someone physically. An abandoned house, an abandoned dog. It's something of value that no one's taking responsibility for. But abandonment doesn't have to mean a physical abandonment. Sometimes abandonment is as subtle as a quiet withdrawal. Abandonment is scorching when someone storms out on someone, but it can be just as devastating if we are left wondering what the truth is when someone withholds it from us. This week, we look at abandonment in all of its forms and ask ourselves: was I abandoned, even in small ways? Do I abandon others? And how do I heal?

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We all want love and we want to love others. But sometimes the love we're giving isn't what is needed, wanted, or even liked. This week, we unpack how we love. And we ask ourselves some honest questions: Why do I love the way I do? Is it what others want? If not, how will I know?

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This week, we dive into the process of transformation from pain to pleasurable outcome. What fills the middle? The process, yet this is the part of growth so many of us struggle with. The pain can be easy to identify. We want out of it. The outcome, when it comes, is sweet. But the process is where we meet ourselves: our strengths, our weaknesses, our desire, our perseverance, and everything inside us that wants to quit. If we can learn to trust the process and see it through, we have the power to direct our energy toward the outcomes we really want.

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Liz Sanfilippo joins us this week for a deep dive into holistic nutrition. She's a nutritional therapy practitioner (NTP), a holistic nutritional therapy master, a certified gluten-free practitioner, a member of the National Association of Nutrition Professionals. And did I mention she's also certified to teach yoga? Yeah. Liz is a healer. Listen this week for life-changing information, not just on how to nourish your body, but how to nourish and invigorate your relationship with your body. Liz walks us through how and why we can start listening to our bodies and get all the other noise out of the way. For more information, visit her website at: www.lizsanfilippo.com. Liz also teaches about gut health in a group setting. For more information, click here: www.lizsanfilippo.com/guthealthy. Follow her on Instagram at @lizsanfilippo.ntp.

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The first mirror is dated to around 4000 BC, and today our society is flooded with "selfies," images of the self. For thousands of years, humans have been obsessed with their own image. Our greatest artists - poets and painters - gave us works of art that centered around their faces, perspectives, desires, and flaws. We all seem to be looking at ourselves and then sharing what we see. So how do we form a relationship with ourselves that healthy? If the relationship with the self is foundational and constant, how do we nurture it? This week we look at self-knowledge, self-care, and self-compassion.

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Setting goals and pursuing growth is healthy and normal. We all need to be aware of our growth areas, and making a plan to address them and grow is part of being a dynamic human being. In this week's episode, I address two paths we can take: the Harsh Path and the Gentle Path. They may both direct us to the same goal, but the process and the experience are going to be a lot different. As we settle into a new year, let's step back and take a book at the "how" of growth, not just the "what." This week, I make the case that we all take the Gentle Path.

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The source of our relational pain is not disagreement; it's disconnection. This week we dive into the dynamics of connection. We'll learn to improve how we communicate so that when we do, we are getting the connection we seek. We explore different ways we can communicate with greater efficiency and effectiveness. We are all trying to get connected and stay connected, but we need to know how. Share this with someone you feel connected to, or someone with whom you want to connect.

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Happy New Year! This week we tackle how to bring what we want into our lives. How can we expand our minds and hearts to allow in that which will bring us further down the road of mental and emotional growth? Whether it's more beauty, more truth, more courage, more peace, more love, or more friendship, we have the power to expand our lives to allow it in. We need to know what we want, and we need to own our power. We can bring in what we want and we can leave what we don't want out. It's all about being intentional and skillful at living. Let's Bring It In - whatever it is we want for ourselves.

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This week, we explore our own energy and how we interact with others' energy. We need to learn if our relationships are a drain or a source of replenishment and renewal. This means we need to feel our feelings and come out of denial. Once we're committed to living in reality and not denying our feelings, we'll know which relationships are sucking the life out of us and which bring us back to life. We'll know where our boundaries need to be. Share this episode with someone who lifts you up!

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We hear a lot of talk about doing "the work," but what does that really mean? This week, we explore what it means to do our work inwardly and outwardly in our every day lives. Inner work requires patience, time, and self-examination. Outer work is the result of our inner work.

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It's that time of year again - time to start reflecting on 2021, take some inventory, and noticing where we are in our lives and in our growth process. As the old saying goes, "If you shoot for nothing, you hit it every time." Taking an inventory gives us an opportunity to stop and check in with ourselves. What were our goals for this year? What was our desired path of growth? What did we accomplish? What derailed us? What do we want to be able to say about ourselves at this time next year: "I've grown in this area"? This week's podcast takes a close look at nine essential categories of living and offers a round of questions to help us hone in on our growth process.

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This week, we explore the pros and cons of doing our work. What will it cost me to pursue mental and emotional health? What are the benefits? Does one outweigh the other? We answer four questions: should I go to therapy, do I have to process trauma/revisit my childhood, do I have to feel my feelings, and do I have to take responsibility for myself. Sometimes, we need information about why we are doing what we're doing. The "why" gives us motivation. This week's episode is a great one to share with anyone who might be sitting on the fence about going to therapy. It's a good one to share with someone who avoids their work but maybe doesn't know it. Maybe we just need to get some information, think through it, then make the choice.

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This week, we take a dive into the very nature of love itself. Love IS a feeling, but it's much more than that. Love is a way of relating to others in which we see them for who they are, not for what they do for us. When we see people this way, we can accept them, and this acceptance is love. The flip side of accepting people for exactly who they are means accepting that sometimes, they won't meet our needs. This means we have to grieve the ways our needs aren't met. This process of owning our needs, grieving what cannot be met, and accepting who others are is what matures us. This maturity leads us to greater peace.

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Couples fight about the same things: kids, money, time, religion, sex, families/in-laws, and jealousy. What makes some couples successful and others break down in smoldering ruin? It can't be what we're fighting about. We're always fighting about the same things. It's something else... In this week's episode, we take a deeper look at the real reason we fight and why our fights separate us as they do. We need to understand how our egos are at the center of our conflicts and what to do about it. 

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This week, we take a break from our usual format to address questions that you, my listeners and clients, have asked. Here are the questions: "How do I know if I'm growing?", "What is your favorite book on mental health?", "Which is your favorite episode of the podcast?", "How can I heal my relationship with my adult child?", "How can I get my spouse to go to therapy?", "How can I develop self-esteem?", "How and when should I get off medication?", "Why is it so hard to change?", and "What do I do with regret?" 

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Core beliefs are the deep down, sometimes hidden, beliefs we have about ourselves. They are literally driving every decision we make in our lives because they form the basis for how we feel about ourselves, how we perceive ourselves in relation to others, and how we perceive ourselves in the world. Underneath every action and every reality we claim to live in are our core beliefs. Positive core beliefs result in people who live with endless possibilities for their lives. Negative core beliefs are extremely limiting. When they are negative, we have to fashion a life within the parameters of those beliefs. This week, we tackle how and when to challenge your core beliefs, and how to better position yourself to form beliefs that are congruent with the world at large, not just the environment in which you were raised.

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It took time for us to develop our coping mechanisms and turn them into habits. It took time for us to figure out how to hide ourselves from the world and still function in plain sight. It took time to create false belief systems that would protect us from the pain of others' abandonment, neglect, or cruelty. All of this took time. And it takes time to undo it. This week, we explore the time it takes - realistically - to heal and grow. Too often, we're way too hard on ourselves, putting unrealistic and impossible expectations on ourselves and others when what we need to develop instead are patience and acceptance. We need to reset our clocks on how we expect to move through our growth process. And you'll also learn some cool, new facts about plants!

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Mirroring - the act of reflecting back another person - begins in infancy and lasts throughout the life span. We need accurate, loving mirroring as long as we're alive. This week we look at the various mirrors in our lives, starting in childhood. How did our parents mirror us? Was their reflection of who we are accurate? Like a house of mirrors in a carnival or funhouse, some reflections of us are wildly distorted and confuse us. Every relationship in your life is a mirror. You will be seen and reflected through the eyes of another. If their eyes are full of love, healing, light, and compassion, they will reflect back your beauty, strength, and worth. If their eyes are darkened by pain, trauma, and harm, your reflection will be distorted through that lens. Share this podcast with someone who mirrors your beauty and goodness!

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Are you exhausted? Do you feel disrespected? Disempowered? Do you consistently give more than you get in your relationships? Do they feel out of balance? If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," it's time to look at our boundaries. Boundaries are the relational tool we use to identify, preserve, and maintain our individuality and unique self. Boundaries are how we say yes and no in relationships, and if we feel we can only say yes and never no, we are in a fear state. We know we want and need relationships that satisfy us, but in order to have those kinds of healthy relationships, we need to feel safe, which means being safe to say no. This week, we dive into boundaries: why we need them, how to set them, what kinds of relationships uphold boundaries, and which challenge them in an unhealthy way. 

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This week, we take a deeper look at the False Self, the Authentic Self, and the True Self. Authenticity is the path from False Self to True. Authenticity is what gives value to our relationships, but we are conditioned to act in ways that value appearance over substance. We are often content to appear as something rather than do the work to be the thing. The effect on our mental and emotional health is splintering. We have to ignore or deny parts of us to serve our need for approval. We have to ignore our thoughts and feelings in order to "act" or "perform" the part. Mental and emotional wholeness stem from an ever-increasing process toward authenticity in our lives. When we value substance over appearance, we become more authentic, and more authentic means more emotionally whole.

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THIS. IS. YOUR. LIFE. Today we explore what it means to live a vitalized life and why we numb out. It all comes down to how we process our own pain. If we cannot or will not feel our pain, we are easily controlled and manipulated by those who promise to take our pain away. Living vitalized means we are feeling all emotion, thinking critically, and actively engaged in the direction of our own lives. It's time we stop numbing out and come back to life! This week, we discuss how.

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When we aren't in denial, our eyes are open and we can see the signs all around us. Our attention to these signs - physical and relational - helps us to direct our lives with intention and care. Ignoring the signs usually means we learn lessons the hard way. In today's podcast, we examine everything from the signs we are in a codependent relationship to the signs that we are truly loved. You'll finish this episode feeling more empowered, more aware, and more savvy. Our ability to read the signs around us means we don't waste our time convincing ourselves of what we want to believe. We are smarter than that. We can see what's happening and live awake and empowered. Don't miss the signs!

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In this episode, we explore the most foundational and fundamental piece of your mental health: the health, protection, and resilience of your heart. We'll discuss what happens when you lose your heart, why you lost it, when you lost it, how we function without our hearts, how to get them back, and how to live with your heart again. Share this episode with someone who's had a broken heart, someone who needs to remember that their heart was, is, and always will be precious. 

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This is our second week of facing 10 Unavoidable Truths. This week we look at the following: 

6: You are the the only one who can create the space necessary to hold all that you are.

7: Therapy is not a magic bullet. Some people don't grow. They just talk.

8 You cannot have control over another person unless you plan on abusing them.

9: Certain behaviors will drive people away. These are generally behaviors that destroy trust.

10: Trauma, abuse, brokenness, hardship, mistakes, and all the other things that weaken us and change us do NOT decrease our value or worth.

Let's unpack these so that we understand them. If we run from reality, we give ourselves no other option than having to face the School of Hard Knocks, when reality has to hit us squarely between the eyes for us to "get it." The more we embrace difficult truths, the more we grow into maturity and self-confidence - able to handle life on life's terms.

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We avoid pain. We mostly avoid the uncomfortable, disorienting truths about life because they cause cognitive dissonance, and we don't like that feeling. We don't want to experience the discomfort and pain of realizing that what we thought was true isn't. We'd rather just avoid the whole affair, but the acceptance of these truths is where we actually grow, mature, and acquire wisdom. It is through the acceptance of reality that we become free. This week, we explore the facts of life that we don't want to face and we discuss what we need within us to actually face them. This week and next, we are going to engage the top ten hardest truths to accept about this human experience. Yes, they're hard to hear, but we have to trust the process. The only path to mental health is through reality.

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Welcome to the final week in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Acceptance is the final stage of this work. This is when and where we stop resisting what is and learn the all-important skill of surrender. We admit we are powerless, and instead of that fact frightening us, we see it as empowerment. Our options become visible when we step into reality and accept life for what it is. This is the stage of growth when we stop kicking and screaming and insisting that everything must be as we want it. And as we start to let go - of our Ego's need to constantly be in control - we experience peace. This is Waking Up.

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Welcome to week four in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Sadness is one of the the hardest stages of this work. This is when and where we come into direct contact with our pain. Our work is to learn one of the most essential processes of life: how to grieve. We must learn it, allow it, and eventually come to embrace it. Grief is how we integrate our losses. We don't let them go... rather, they become part of us through the grief process. This is the expansion of the human being - from naive and immature to compassionate and wise. Our sadness will lead us, through our tears, to what we value most. This awakens us to who we truly are. When we allow our sadness, we create room for our joy. The depth of our sadness and grief holds our capacity for joy. This stage is one of the hardest, and the most rewarding.

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Welcome to week three in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Bargaining is what we do when we aren't quite yet ready to face who we see in the mirror, the choices we've made, and the consequences we've incurred. Bargaining is how we lessen the blow. Through bargaining, we are able to take small steps forward with what we perceive to be our "dignity" intact. Our work through this stage of Waking Up is to slowly, consciously allow ourselves to face who we are without shame. Bargaining buys us time but it keeps us from seeing the scope of our reality. This week, we learn what it is, how it functions, and how to get past it.

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Welcome to week two in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Anger is the essential, terrifying step of the journey in which we finally allow ourselves to feel our self-worth and the assaults we've experienced against it. Some of those assaults came from others and some from us. This week, we're going to take a good look at anger: what it is, what it's not, how to use it, what it's for, and why it's such an essential part of our lives. Anger gets a bad rap; we confuse it with aggression. This week, let's learn the difference so we can allow our anger and allow it to do what it does: point us in the direction of living a life with the boundaries in place that keep our self-worth, self-respect, and dignity intact. 

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"Waking up" refers to coming out of the coma-like sleep we live in when we aren't conscious of who we truly are, what we do, and why we do it. All of us have been conditioned to think and act a certain way by teachings we've received or experiences we've had. Waking up is about noticing our conditioning, questioning it, looking within, and becoming our True Selves. The five stages of waking up are: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. If we know anything about death and dying, we might notice that it's the same process, the same stages. So what has to die for us to wake up? Our ego. The False Self. The Self that protects us from criticism, judgment, and shame. In this week's episode, we tackle the first stage of waking up: coming out of denial. We need to understand it well so it doesn't frighten us. Everyone is in denial, and if we're doing our work, we're coming out of it. It's slow. It's painful. And it's necessary if we are ever to become free, if we are ever to awaken and live our real lives.

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Sometimes we look back on our lives and see how far we've come, and we're mystified by it. "How did I get here?" Sometimes we set our minds to change something, determined to stop the pain and suffering we've been living in with conscious effort. Sometimes the consequences of our actions become so dire, so painful, that we simply must do something different. Whatever the path, we change. We grow. Some more than others. This episode breaks down the process, whether it's happening consciously or not. The more we know, the more choices we have. When we understand the change process from the inside out, we can become conscious agents of our own transformation.

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Summer brings with it increased desire and ability to travel. We visit family, beaches, parks, and places of interest. We look at weather forecasts and itineraries and think to ourselves: what should I pack? What will I need? The greatest trip any of us will ever take is the trip of our own life. So we ask the same questions: what should I bring with me on this journey called Life, and what can I leave behind? What will I use and what is dead weight? In this week's episode, we talk about the mindsets and beliefs that weigh us down and the absolute essentials we will need on the journey. It's the single greatest trip of our lifetime! Let's be prepared.

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Of all of our relationships, this one looms the most important and telling. This singular relationship will affect every other relationship throughout our life span. Today, we dive into the dynamics and facets of this all-important relationship: the relationship we have with ourselves. This isn't selfish; it's self-love. We discuss the difference between the two and how to cultivate an authentic, growing, self-honoring relationship with ourselves. This brings us into an intimacy and depth with others like nothing else can.

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The path of mental health, growth, and wellness is a tough one, for sure. It requires that we face ourselves and our lives with radical honesty and consistent courage. What stops us? What slows us down? This week, we look at the five most common roadblocks on the path of mental and emotional wellness and how to get around them. Everyone can trip and fall into these common potholes, but if we know they're there and understand them from the inside out, we have a much better chance at not getting into these mental health quagmires. We've got to be determined to get out of our own way.

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Mental health is a process, not a static place or a destination. It's about connecting what we learned earlier in life with what we currently do. It's about increasing our knowledge of what humans need, what we needed, and then addressing how those needs are being met or stifled today. Much of "the work" of the journey of mental healthy is about connecting the dots, and the dots are (1) what we needed vs. what we got and (2) what we are doing today to meet our needs. Is it healthy? Unhealthy? The truth is that all behavior comes down to one motivating drive: we are trying to meet our needs. This week I explore what those needs are now, what they looked like in childhood, how we coped with the unmet needs, and how to make sense of all of that now as adults. We need to know what we needed AND we need to know ourselves - how we try and meet our needs. We need to connect the dots.

*Disclaimer: This episode goes a little long! 

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Some qualities stand the test of time. They're the human characteristics we point to when we see that some people stand out and seem to stand stronger and taller than others. But what does character have to do with mental health? Are virtues simply for the philosophers, poets, and sages? Or do we, every day people in pursuit of lives we can live with dignity and peace, need qualities that comprise character? Today we look at personal accountability. We need to ask ourselves what this means for us in our lives. It's time to face the connection that exists between our choices and our consequences. This is where we find our true power.

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We have to admit it. It's universal. It's human. It's humbling. We all suffer the same sickness, and it's a pandemic. Our real problem is: FEAR. Instead of denying it, avoiding it, masking it, or suppressing it, let's try understanding it. Fear serves a normal, essential human function when it's warranted. When it's not, it literally changes our reality. Most importantly: we need to know the difference. This week, we'll gain understanding of its function and how we can differentiate between useful fear and perceived fear. Fear's effect on physiological and mental health is not small. Simply put: it's weakening us from the inside out. It's time to stop living afraid. We need to to face our fear. 

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The most universal human desire is the desire for happiness, yet so many of us spend our days in such misery. We believe we'll find happiness in relationships, success, achievements, property, or wealth. We look ahead from milestone to milestone, goal to goal, and believe we'll be happy when we get _____. But it's elusive. We spend our lives chasing a carrot. One industry points us here, the churches point us there, and our hearts stay in the pursuit, not the pleasure of happiness. Today we're going to talk about what happiness is really all about, what's in our control, what's not, and how to engage the process of happiness, not pursue the outcome.

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It's a question I hear often in therapy. "Am I crazy?" "I sound crazy, right?" Or just a statement of fact, "I know. I'm crazy." Labels don't serve those who seek mental and emotional health and wholeness. They're arbitrary names that doctors thought up to describe a cluster of symptoms, but they certainly don't heal, and I'm not quite sure they help. We'd do much better understanding ourselves than we do labeling ourselves. This week, I focus on an important part of mental health: the relationship you have with all of the parts of you. Yes, you read that correctly. There are many, many parts of you, and your relationship with each part contributes and determines the health of the whole person that you are. Let's talk about what psychotherapists call "parts work." Every single part of you arose from an experience that necessitated its presence, therefore every single part deserves your love, respect, and acceptance. This week, I'll make the case for exactly that.

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The beloved Buddhist monk Ticht Naht Hanh said, “When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well.” For too long, professionals in medicine and the field of psychology have blamed depression on a chemical imbalance in the brain despite an absence of proof. This is essentially blaming the lettuce: blaming the brain of the person who suffers. The time has come, and we are already late: we need to start talking about depression differently, and that means talking about our environment as children, as adults, any unhealed and unresolved traumas, and the corresponding beliefs that may be limiting us from finding the joy we deserve. We need to start asking ourselves honestly: what are the reasons I'm not doing well - and be brave when facing those answers.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression

https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/debunking-two-chemical-imbalance-myths-again

https://www.healthline.com/health/chemical-imbalance-in-the-brain#causes

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It's a tough gig this "being a human being," isn't it? Our lives start out in a way that is totally out of our control, and yet that early imprint - called childhood - is what habituates our relationship patterns and expectations for the rest of our lives. If the imprint was healthy, we pursue health by and large. If the imprint was unhealthy, dysfunctional, or even traumatic, we live out these patterns unless or until something comes along to interrupt the negative cycles. How do we change the cycles? What do we do with our past? Can we really leave the past in the past? Listen to today's episode for instructions on how to walk down memory lane and heal the broken places along the way. Being a human being isn't just about unconsciously operating on autopilot. It's about being alive in every part of our lives, past and present.

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We hear this word "authenticity" a lot, but what exactly is authenticity, and how do we cultivate it? Is it something we should just intuitively know, or is it learned? What are the implications for mental and emotional health?

Today we'll explore how we can be supported on the path of authenticity or manipulated away from it. You'll learn what the biggest threat to authenticity is and three ways you can become more authentic today. 

Authenticity, like integrity, is a non-negotiable, essential quality in a mentally and emotionally healthy person. We can't afford to get this one wrong. 

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We don't talk about it enough, but we need to. We need to talk about what integrity is and how the presence or lack of it affects our mental and emotional health. Integrity is indeed a virtue and a desirable quality in character, but it goes far beyond being simply praiseworthy. Our integrity is directly related to how we connect with ourselves and others, forming the basis of our support systems and communities. Our level of integrity determines our inner peace and is a potent antidote to anxiety. It's too important to not talk about. This week is all about understanding and cultivating integrity.

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Now that we've got a working definition of love, let's talk about what love means in adulthood. How do we know if what we are giving and receiving is the real deal? Hint: real love doesn't cause harm. But... so often we think we are giving love, and what we are doing is actually in the best interest of ourselves. Some of us really struggle with receiving love, and we live in chronic loneliness. We need a clear understanding of how love works and what actions demonstrate real love. It isn't always easy, but it's always in the best interest of another. This week, we explore how love functions in adult lives and why we need to start trusting it. Love changes us, for the better. Love matters.

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This week, we tackle the psychological concept and behavioral reality of Love. What is love? What does it mean to be loved? What happens inside of us when we are loved well? What ideas and beliefs do we form about ourselves when we receive love, good love? What happens when we hear "I love you," but the actions we witness or experience aren't loving? What message is communicated then? Love isn't just a subject for theologians and poets; it's an essential concept for everyone who wants to live a healthy life, mentally and emotionally. Human beings need love throughout the lifespan. This week, we take a deeper look at what that means in childhood. Next week, we'll look at the repercussions in adulthood. Believe it or not: love matters. 

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People seek therapy because they are in pain - emotional or psychological. They form addictions to substances and processes because they are in pain. We seek comfort, consolation, and company because we find ourselves in pain. Pain is the universal human woe, but so few of us understand what to do with it or how to understand it. Today's podcast unpacks the subject of Pain and gives you an understanding of where you can apply your energy to transform the pain in your life and find your power in it.

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Let's unpack Emotional Health. It's a thing. A distinct thing. It has its own markers, and it is work that spans our entire life. We'll take a look at how emotional health is formed, nurtured, encouraged, or stymied in childhood. Then we'll look at what an emotionally healthy adult looks like. How do emotionally healthy adults handle their emotions? Emotional health is inextricably linked to overall mental health. Today's topic is an important one to get under our belts.

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Mental health is often defined in the context of mental illness, but mental health has its own markers, just like physical health does. Let's take a look at what those markers are. 

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Listen today and learn about the principles, practices, and particulars of mental and emotional growth and how growth is different than change. If we want to grow, we need to create the conditions for growth.