East Morning Moments: Recent Episodes
Cory KayCe
East Morning Moments are the unfiltered raw thoughts, opinions and views of Cory KayCe. Just sharing his light and darkness in the moment. Every morning we wake up with pains, passions, dreams, aspirations and desires. East Morning Moments explores some of those through the eyes of Cory KayCe.
I think a major message from Inside Out as well was to be careful of the pursuit of happiness. Of course we saw through the lens of someone having the understanding of a child but even adults act out of character and do silly things in their pursuit of happiness. I do tend to believe that people aren’t good with their emotions because they don’t allow themselves to feel them. Then when those emotions become overwhelming they tend to shut down. “Pain demands to be felt” is one of my favorite lines because it reminds me that I shouldn’t avoid certain situations even if they might be painful. It’s all a part of the human experience.
Being a creative is a difficult thing. Especially in sweet T&T and not doing soca or dancehall or trinbad. I know it may sound like I’m ribbing on the people in my circle or my family for not being the support system that I need but I’m not. I know the onus is on me to find it within myself to pursue the dreams that I have for myself which is why I’ll be trying to go to more of these shows. Do my best to keep myself inspired by supporting my coworkers on their journey until it’s my time to do my own thing. The mental fortitude it takes to consistently pursue a creative endeavor without a support system. The constant self hype. Daily affirmation. We look at the arrogance of some of the artists at the top but never really dissect what it took for them to develop said arrogance. The industry in Trinidad is also a bit harsh. The love and togetherness isn’t truly there. Openness to work with someone pretty much depends on the amount of buzz that person has. Which is why I love the open mic events. They allow otherwise unknown artist, like myself, to become a known and to generate said buzz. I’m truly not trying to condemn anyone or the industry itself by saying all this either. It just needs to be better is all. I’m thankful though, that I know where my inspiration comes from and what I am do to continue growing as a creative. Hopefully as I grow and my platform along with it, my ability to self motivate will increase as well. I’ll also like to not become arrogant.
It often easy to reach for entertainment. This is the true barrier to consistency. It is a form of procrastination, especially when you know you have work that you should be doing. It’s easy though, and that’s why we tend to do it so much. Consistency seems like work, especially when you’re not in a workplace and it’s something that you want to do for yourself. It’s easier to use your time being entertained instead of working on that project that you started. Motivation also plays a part in what you’re doing as well and preparedness. Sometimes we tend to believe that we’re capable of doing isn’t significant enough work to bother putting in but it is. Like I said in the podcast, you got to just do it. Also sorry about the abrupt ending. Phone dropped😖.
I tend to find myself feeling a bit insecure speaking about myself too much. Like “no one wants to hear about your life that much.” But I keep reminding myself that I’m only sharing so others could listen and learn from it and not make my mistakes. I’m basically creating podcast episodes that would have helped me as an individual going through my life. I hope that that alone can be enough. I’m highlighting it here under this episode because the things I’m speaking about in this episode, had I heard someone speak about them before I’d have an understanding of the things I’m currently being faced with and ways to be better ready to deal with these things. Being introspective and reflective is a gift and a curse. You grow from past experience and will be ready in regards to dealing with future situations but if you haven’t dealt with something before, you’d be at the mercy of said thing. Knowledge gained from other instances can always apply to new situations though once you can find commonality but it isn’t always one to one. Adaptability is also something necessary for one’s growth. Some things to think about.
It’s crazy the amount of things I’ve accomplished in that short time of setting my mind to it. I feel like it didn’t take much and a lot of the leg work was laid out before me already. One thing I’ll say and double down on tho is that the mind is a powerful tool. You have to make it work for you. It really feels like this all happened with the change of my mindset and I’m proud of that. Everyone has their own thing though and maybe mindset change isn’t it for you but we’re all already successful. Believing it is what’s truly the challenge.
Just wanted to memorialize and honor the man that was my father. Loosing him hasn’t been easy but, I’m pressing on. I appreciate all of you that still listen to the podcast week to week. I do apologize for my absence but I’m back. Should be back on schedule. Truly do love everyone of you that continue to give me your support
The mind is a super computer, I’ve been told. And our way of programming that computer is by using self talk. We need to be really conscious of what we say to ourselves, even in our subconscious. Like I mentioned in the podcast, success is whatever you decide it to be. What happens is, we tend to allow the world to tell us what our success should look like and that’s the beginning of the error. Don’t allow outside factors to dictate your inner peace. Allow yourself to find your joy and your success. Define your success for you and work towards it.
Don’t overlook the weeds while searching for flowers because oftentimes the weeds are flowers. But just like my episode on time, I will advocate for living life in the moment. Not only living in the moment but also appreciating it. We lose out on genuine happiness searching for faults in beautiful moments. Often because of who the moment is being shared with. We should be enjoying all the moments that we can. Protect your energy so don’t allow others to devalue your self-worth wither presence but make peace with others so you can truly appreciate the moments as they come.
Shit to make me write again!! Of course it’s tragic that my bro had to loose his mom and I’m certainly there with him but we need to celebrate these beautiful moments. This is the beginning of new families. This is a huge step. A beautiful step. One I know they are all ready for. I really do feel so proud of all of my bro’s. It’s a blessing when you can find that person you want to be with for the rest of your life. From my sister getting married in April to my brother just a couple weeks ago and now my bros step up and hitting their home runs and retiring with bare accolades. What more can I truly say. It makes me truly hopeful for my future as well. If I haven’t mentioned it before, besides being an artist I also aspire to start a family and be a great husband and eventually an amazing dad. My bros are leading the charge in that aspect and showing the way. Life has a funny way with itself as well. I met someone.
So I wanted to start this description this week by shouting out everyone that I missed mentioning in the episode itself. Brandon for sure. Another one of the groomsmen and someone who has seen the growth of my brother first hand being that they both went to college together. I pray you don’t feel slighted that you weren’t mentioned verbally bro. Your presence and support was well noted. Keanon too. Another groomsman and my turn up breddren. We definitely brought life to everything we showed up to. Uncle Nigel in a big way. This man had the wisdom of kings and was willing to share it freely. All the dads really. Orville. Kamilya’s stepdad dad, who’s name I can’t remember. We’re going to be talking about Jamaica a lot for the coming episodes. It was a delight meeting and getting to know these people. Tabriah for sure. The maid of honour and she certainly brought honour to her tittle. An amazing individual that I really got to know and enjoyed doing so. It was really all a team effort for sure. Big up Kassidy. Lets be real now, she was the star of the show truly. Stole the whole show actually. Kamilya’s mom’s name escapes me at the moment but this women exuded life with such elegance and energy. Mans was impressed. Sharon bai. This young lady have vibes. My eldest brother too. My riding partner for most of my down time. Hadn’t seen him in 8 years till then and it was amazing. Love that our family could have this little reunion. Abbie, Leigh, Alex again, Justin. The family just grew exponentially and It’s beautiful. I think this description this week is only going to be shoutouts yes. To the Walker family, Crawford and Thomas families and everyone that was present and or connected I like to shoutout and say a great thank you. Prost to the newly weds. Live long, prosper and turn up.
Interesting. It’s what this all is to me. Like i share my morning thoughts yes but the feelings that lead me to these think pieces are so deep. I’ve literally been taking a lot of these “all men” or “most men” statements really personally these days. I find myself looking for someone to blame as well for this. Women for their choices. Men for their behaviour. I’m human and my growth is infinite. This is a stop on my path so no worries. My podcast is here for me to share my thoughts but this week I found myself wanting to have a discourse about these feelings and topics. Yes topics, because it isn’t just the misandry that I’d like to address. In my pilot episode I said that I’ll be sharing my thoughts here because there often isn’t anyone I feel like I can have these conversations with. I think it’s mostly to do with my perception of how some of these topics would be received. I always want to understand things and talking it out and having hard conversations help with that understanding that I so desire. But I’ve been called misogynistic before. I’m often misunderstood. So I keep these deep feelings that give birth to these confusing thoughts to myself. But I will cry to the wind for a cry in the wind is often heard as a cry of the wind.
Too often are people locked into jobs that they don’t like and don’t bring any fulfilment to their lives. It makes the days longer. The body weaker. The mind more on edge and ready to snap. Well I don’t know about all that but I do know that people work jobs they hate for the monetary gain and nothing else. Thats a bit sad in a day and age where you can become whatever you’d like to be professionally. Sometimes, also physically once you have the money to do so. My twin islands though may be a bit limited in what you can do though so I get that and having to do something for money. It’s a rock and a hard place. One of my dreams is to be able to change that about my country. When people are afforded the opportunity to do what they love it improves their quality of life. Doing jobs that we hate is a practice that should be and needs to be phased out but for now, dow what makes you content.
Just want to say Happy Birthday to Tevaughn and MJ again. Time has brought them around the sun another year, which is a fantastic thing. Worth the celebration of thirteen nations. And that's just the pre-game. The real celebration would be global. But yeah. Time. It brings growth and death altogether at the same time. I wanted to focus primarily on the positive in the episode this week but I am saddened by the life and light lost this week. A great dude with a speed demon. Was chatting with another artist that knew him and we went into the topic of having affairs in order for our passing. Especially because we tend to have unreleased works laying around. I have no one who has access to my works that I’ve locked away on my laptop and I never considered it greatly till now. I don’t know what my friend left behind for his loved ones but maybe I should prepare something for mine. I’ve also been watching Manifest and I have a trip to Jamaica planned for next month so… If you know the show and can make the connection you’d get it. I pray for more life for my listeners, my supporters, friends, family, and chosen family. Love.
Teaching old dogs new tricks. What's funny is that my therapist had told me to mend my relationship with my mother and I genuinely don't see how. That would require me to forgive her and go forward in life with full knowledge that I will have to face that same abuse. I don't understand how that is supposed to be therapeutic. I'm just worried about my nieces and nephews. They are innocent and deserve much better than we were given but that seems difficult with my mom around. I also don't feel like it's my place. I feel like I’m being childish and some deep part of me just want for my mother to see the damage she’s caused and be pained by it so I’m using the Kiplings as an excuse to continue my war on her ignorance. Childish behavior truly until I realize that she’s still verbally and physiologically abusive towards me. Making me feel like I don’t deserve to be heard or seen unless it’s to be of service for her benefit. Trying to make me feel like I’m crazy when all I am is educated. Making others think and look at me like I’m crazy when she realizes she can no longer make me believe I am crazy. All tactics of manipulation that she uses to ensure that I keep in line. That last one is what hurts the most and makes me want to leave. She easily gets all of my siblings to look at me as the crazy one. That never feels good and it just makes me feel like I have no place in this family. All because I refuse to be manipulated. I certainly need to get a new therapist but this is nice too. If only for a brief moment.
I have a lot of passion for this franchise and all its lore. It's not like the Master Cheif hasn't been characterized well, it's just that he's never been seen like this. He is afraid to take action but has to because the world's fate depends on him doing just that. This is a soldier that's been through years of service. His experience as a soldier has brought him to this point of viewing his actions, all his actions, under a microscope because he sees the ripple effects of his previous actions or inaction. This installment sees the Master Chief taking on much more responsibility and blame than is rightfully his to take. He claims the responsibility because as the leading officer he should have commanded his partner, his soldier(Cortana his previous AI), better. This war that he's fighting now, started because of her. He made the decision that lead to her gaining the power she did to create this situation. At one point, the Chief is asked what is he fighting for, and his response, although badass, was sad and indicative of a broken soul. His answer was that fighting is all he knows. Abducted at the age of 6 and indoctrinated. The first lives he took was that of fellow soldier at the age of 14. This is someone with real emotional trauma. At Escharum's end after battling with Master Chief you see him showing great compassion to his fallen enemy and he explains it as in the end, all Eschrum was just a soldier. Hoping he had done the right thing. Questioning his choices. You can tell that this is also what the Master Chief is going through as well. Questioning his choices. He respects his enemy because he sees himself in them. Master Chief is a hero to all humans but so is Atriocs to the Banished. And whereas Atriocs is considered a monster to the humans. To the Banished, Master Chief is the Demon.
I need to reiterate that you don't owe anyone shit and no one owes you shit. You really have to accept people for who they are and if you can't that's absolutely ok. I had a fishing analogy that I cut from the episode: "A fisherman can't pull a catfish out of the waters and want it to change itself into a shark, or a shark into tuna, or tuna into mackerel. Why do we now think that we can bring someone into our live's and have them change for us? Granted, it does happen sometimes but it shouldn't be expected. One thing a good fisherman knows is where to go fishing for the type of fish he wants. Go where the fish you want swim and if you happen to catch something you don't want, throw it back." Feelings are hard to escape and again, I'm not against the friend zone area I just believe that being there is a choice. You decide ultimately where you expel your energy. If you don't like the conditions of your surroundings, find better ones.
The Daily Reminder: "In a world where everyone settles, it's remarkable to follow your passion and create a life of freedom. It takes courage to do something that not everyone else is doing. Taking accountability for your own life makes you the architect of your future self. Be willing to risk everything for the fire in your soul, always choose freedom over the soul suffocating system. Sometimes things may get rough but always believe in yourself, there's a higher purpose unfolding through you. Be patient and keep giving energy towards the vision of your highest self until it has no choice but to manifest. You got this.
Take risks. If you win, you will be happy. If you lose, you will be wiser."
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. However, the dangers of inhabiting a physical form can many times deter us from having the transcendent experiences that we need in order to evolve.
My guest for this episode is MJ - a professional creative and dear friend who shares a personal journey she had on an early morning hike in Speyside, Tobago.
The “yes” person archetype was interesting to learn about and I’m sure that most of you listening can relate to one of the 7 inner child archetypes mentioned. I was really good at figuring out really quickly what someone would like in their interactions with others. I lied a lot as well to fit in. I’m practicing to be more truthful now though. It’s interesting how badly we get messed up in our formative years just to spend our adult lives suppressing or healing traumas. All this while struggling against a capitalist system that has no concerns over creating benefits for us.
Ok, I know I say I'm ready to have kids but y'all should really take that with grains of salt. Like a lot of salt. Enough to kill a frog, truly. I'm probably just in a growing/healing mode. There's a lot you learn from yourself during the process as well. I've digressed. Getting back to the topic at hand. Recognition and accountability. That's the goal honestly. Stop seeing yourself as better for someone than what they choose for themselves. If you think like that. I spoke and used Hal as an example but in reality, the nice guys women tend to meet aren't that obvious at all. There are some who are but most aren't. Men, check your brethren. Make sure the ones you surround yourself with aren't abusers or manipulators. It's a small start but it'll help us protect our women.
Does anyone else do these audits of themselves and what they've accomplished in the past year? This episode is rambly and that's because I'm still trying to understand the idea that I've conceptualized. Usually, my mind bounces around a lot as well. That's how East Morning was started. The idea of auditing yourself I believe has always been around though. Maybe just not on your birthday like clockwork. I'd say one shouldn't concern themselves with these things. Live and enjoy life to the fullest but I've recently been listening to the teachings of some philosophers and truly balance is the best answer. The past does need to be analyzed and the future considered but make sure to be present in the here and now. Also be gentle with yourself.
So if you came for the episode referenced, it's season 1 episode 2. Calm Within the Storm. For everyone else, thank you for being a loyal reader of the description. I think it's important to note that stepping back and taking your time with the storms in your life is ok. Sometimes the storms we face are so imposing that we may believe that our inactivity will lead to our demise but it isn't always true. Recognizing the difference between a life threat and something that feels like a life threat is a whole other episode. One that I don't believe myself capable of doing justice. Just yet. It's ok to take your time. Never let a storm cause you to make hasty decisions and at the same time don't relegate yourself to being indecisive. Being a proper functioning adult is an intense balancing act. One you get better at with each passing year and the more you learn. Take your time to learn as much as you can.
Letting go of friendships and relationships shouldn't be so hard. Again I believe that in an ideal world this would be the truth every time. Unfortunately, there's no such luck for us. Sometimes we hold onto relationships that have stopped meeting our needs long after we should have and we get hurt severely because of it. It brings to mind the meme with Jesus(yes Jesus) asking the young girl for her teddy bear and her not wanting to let it go. The whole time though, Jesus has a bigger teddy bear behind his back that He's waiting to bestow onto her. If only she'd let go. We hold ourselves back from certain greatness in our lives because we fail to let go. And like I said in the podcast, not because your needs aren't being met, means you can treat a person however you want. Everyone deserves to be treated with love, no matter how much we've outgrown them. No matter how much they've outgrown you. Just don't be a dick. Sometimes we grow together and other times we grow apart. That's life. Don't be a dick about it.
The importance of communication shouldn't be understated. The difficulty of establishing proper communication though is another story entirely as well. Being able to communicate openly with someone is so freeing. Most times this is easier achieved outside a relationship. It's interesting how as friends you'd communicate everything without hesitation or reservations but in a relationship that effective communication breaks down. It's funny because the relationship is where that type of communication is needed the most. Consideration for the other person is always an excuse for watered down or lacking communication but is it really considering the other person when you now have them in the back of your mind for hurting you by doing something they aren't even aware of? Effective communication is key. Always be willing, open, and receptive to it.
Dealing with loss. A lot of great lights have been lost in recent times. Knowing you're not alone doesn't help you not feel alone though and I can acknowledge that as it's something I've experienced. Keeping the memories of the ones we've lost alive I think is so beautiful. It's part of the reason I share my life so much through my music, my writing, and this podcast. This is so I won't be forgotten. The light that these people have brought to our lives shouldn't be forgotten as well. Honor those memories in your own way, however, you can.
“As we get older, we all have certain milestones and goals that we hope to achieve. We have even given ourselves deadlines for the picture perfect life. Deadlines that were set when we were young and barely even understood where our life was going. Here, ending my 20’s and I’ve only barely began to create that picture perfect life that I expected I would have. I know I’m not the only one. It’s our entire generation and it’s okay to still be working toward your goal. It’s not okay to give up because you didn’t make the “deadline”.” ~Trini Racqs
Please excuse the sniffling. This is why I didn’t want to record an update episode this week . I knew it’d be filled with sniffles and I listened to myself and I sound properly terrible. Definitely not it. But yes, next episode is a guest episode hosted by the most beautiful Ms. Trini Racqs. Go check out her vlog on YouTube @Trini Racqs & say “Hi” on Twitter @racks_on_racqs. I think that last one is also her Instagram and she has a picture with her hand in the nose of a statue. You guys and gals could check it out. She also has an interview published about her that details her accomplishments and exactly how she’s gotten to be a Trini in Germany. Beyond that. We don’t support Russia and it’s invasion of Ukraine. It’s creating a lot of suffering and will continue to do so as long as it keeps going on and even for some time after it’s finished. Maybe start a garden.
I do understand and sympathize with someone loosing their way in life. But your life is boring. Go be great. GO BE GREAT!! Greatness is certainly within us all and having support is superb but honestly there are very few people in this life that owes us anything. Your parents for sure but no one else really. You have the power to be great. If not you have the power to help someone be great. We’re not all main characters. Sometimes we shine best in a supporting role. Whatever your role is though, just remember, be fxcking great!!
I have a a lot of speculations in regards to why millennials are different but nothing concrete. I think we were just born in a different time period. There’s less fear about certain things because we have a different understanding of said things. Like sex and sex work. What safe sex is. And the actual truth about STIs and STDs. And that’s just one example. I’ve heard boomers speak about not know how someone got pregnant until they got someone pregnant. That’s a scary time period to live in. I shudder at the thought. I guess the day is true then. When you know better you do better.
Maybe I’ll expound a bit more on this topic. I usually try to keep my episodes at 8-9 minutes for my listeners sake but there’s so much to be said on this. They say growth doesn’t occur in comfort but I think that’s wrong. I believe growth doesn’t occur in satisfaction. Really want to touch on that a bit more. Also the episode I was trying to reference was episode 5 of EMM if you wanted to check that out.
I think the loneliness is what really gets to me. I feel like I’m a part of others journeys but there’s no one that’s a part of mine. I’ve also been checking myself a lot when I ask for help. I don’t like the feeling of being used and I’d hate to make anyone feel like that’s what I’m doing to them. This makes me isolate myself from everyone. But I think that’s a good thing. I need someone to work just as hard for me as I would for them and honestly I’m at the point where I just need to do it myself. I need to learn to go just as hard for myself as I do for others. Just gonna either stop answering my phone or start telling a lot of people no.
So basically I’m just considering evolving the podcast into a tool to flesh out the world of PATHWAYS. Just something for the community to keep them interested and satiated while waiting on the book. I could tell some of the lesser stories I may not have time to touch on in the books. News reports, announcements, community addressing and that kinda thing you know. I think it’ll be a great addition to the world itself and help people to get more engrossed in the world. A story telling podcasts but done in a real way. I don’t know. I hope you guys understand what I’m thinking. Definitely send me feedback. Maybe I’ll just create a separate podcast for the world. I’m just concerned about keeping up with it.
I think we should strengthen ourselves, as entrepreneurs, in areas where we think we’re weak. Especially when you don’t have help. Ensuring you have a great product helps with growing your business faster. It’s always amazing to have support and partners in whatever endeavors you’re pursuing but what needs to be remembered is no one owes you anything. If it’s your dream you should be as diligent as possible in bringing it to life. Some of us are creatives and we only want to create. Others are organizers who only want to organize. Everyone does have a roll to play but when you’re just starting out and don’t have the money to invest in your business, every part of the business is left to you to be completed. That’s just how it goes. But keep firm and believe in yourself. Someone will see the worth in what you’re doing.
Going where you’re valued is something that can change your out look on life once you are capable of doing so. It’ll open your eyes to new possibilities. Maybe you were considering migrating. Thais the time. If you can you should.
With the volume of work that I’m creating it gets a bit tedious. I also forget things easily. I also like to rest. Like taking naps is important you know. One thing I forgot to mention is my journey to learning Spanish. I’m at 130 day streak on Duolingo. I haven’t moved forward with learning really, just been renewing old lessons but slow and steady honestly. But yeah. Success and Growth. Look out for all the great things that will be coming from me soonish lol. I need a promoter yes. Or a manager.
Being able to empathize with someone and put yourself into their place or maybe just feel and see things from their point of view is an understated skill. Writers are also very understated in the way they can manipulate your emotions. Be it literature, comics, tv or music. A good writer will make you feel something. It’s a bit daunting. My fear of rejection be kicking into overdrive when I encounter really good writing. I keep thinking what if I’m not good enough to write with that much emotions? But I can always give myself a pep talk. Either I tell myself “I got this” or “how would you know if you don’t try” and trying is something I can always do.
I love reading but sometimes it’s mentally taxing to fathom some of the things writers want you to believe character wise. I’m all well and good with everything else truly but if you establish the characteristics of one of your protagonist to be a certain way, then allow those characteristics to inform their decisions. In this way the mangas I’ve been reading have been superior. Captivating me with their characters and their world. And it’s absolutely not all literature that’s like this but the ones I’ve been reading. I do enjoy a good story and world. So I enjoy them all the same.
SMART planning for everyone that wanted to catch what I said without having to rewind is ensuring that plans are, Specific: plan out all the details. Measurable: so having a desired outcome that can be measured to gain an idea of success. Attainable: sometimes we have a huge goal but we sometimes need to break it down into small attainable steps. Your life so far has been one successful step after the other. Don’t forget that. Realistic: be realistic with your planning(don’t go planning to walk on water unless you smart enough to science that shit). Time centered: have a timeframe for achieving your goal or for assessing the progress you’ve made. Go out there and be progressive.
So I may have to do an update episode because this episode didn’t really explain much in regards to how I’m going to be doing things in the coming year. Besides that, I’d like to offer my sincerest apologies. I’ll be more consistent in the new year. And considerate. I really do tend to think that I have a very radical way of thinking. I may also be a fatalist. A coincidental finding I stumbled upon on my journey of self discovery. Like I said in the episode, we all have our demons to contend with. I am no different. I look forward to the new year with you all. Blessings and good vibes.
Sometimes perfection is sitting watching us in our faces. We don’t see it because we judge ourselves the harshest. Some of us anyways. We hold out with the hopes of making it better not realizing that we’ve gotten whatever it is to it’s best. It happens. We look at these things as a reflection of us and we want to show our best selves. You best self is when you’re true to yourself. Once you’ve done that, you shouldn’t be worried about what you’ve produced so much. Just put it out. Let people see you for who you are.
Sometimes you got to check up on yourself. I often tend to turn down help from others. Usually because when I’m going through something I’m looking for some type of understanding of what I’m going through. You can’t have that conversation with any and everyone. Some people just don’t know how to help you. That doesn’t translate well sometimes. The “it’s going to be ok” isn’t enough sometimes. I absolutely appreciate the gesture though so I like to leave at that. So self check are important to me. Active communication with myself is necessary for me to keep myself stable. Maybe I should get an actual diary. I’d be freer with my thoughts there.
Firstly, let me apologize for the little sniffles here and there. If I sleep with the fan on me I tend to wake up stuffy. So please forgive it. But yeah. Too often we hold ourselves back from significant growth because we are afraid to do. We procrastinate when we should be engaging. Not everyone has to have my bravery of putting things out but you should at least start doing. This helps you get comfortable being a creator. Maybe hearing your own voice weirds you out a bit. Record and listen back yourself more. You’ll quickly get use to it. Maybe you feel silly dancing in front of the camera. Don’t worry. This is all parts of the process. Get these little steps out the way. So when that idea hits, and sometimes it comes faster when you’re actually doing the work already, you’re comfortable to execute as needed. And hear me out here. Each part of the process demands from you energy to get started. So be active and progressive about what you want to do. You created the platform, get started creating and refining your content. You’ve created content, get started putting it out. You’ve put out content, get started sharing it.
We are most certainly not properly educated as to the power we hold in our hands at any given time or situation. Often we react out of desperation because we feel like we don’t have power. Like we don’t have options. Like we can only accept what’s happening to us as holy writ. This isn’t true. Please watch Revolver. Because I need you to understand that that voice in your head, telling you that you are at the mercy of fate, is your true enemy and they’ve hidden the truth from you. You do have power. You just need to find it in your current situation and decide how best to use it. Whether it be “the power of friendship”. The power of social media. The power of your voice, experience, skill, knowledge, the list goes on. You have power to change your surroundings for the better. Also for the worst. It all depends on how you decide to wield your power. Sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself is definitely not going to cut it. You are capable and destined for way more.
Firstly, my thoughts, prayers and deepest condolences goes out to the families of the individuals that lost their lives at the Astro World Festival. I believe that this could have been prevented. I wouldn’t feel right not speaking about this. This is something that’ll stick with me throughout my career as an artist. I always look at the music I make and the impact it can possibly have and it’s always a prayer that it would be for the good of all. This is why on all my artwork for my music I place the words “by God’s grace”. If I’m not doing good or promoting goodness through my actions and interactions I would be living a selfish life. I look at that as my responsibility. My aim is to grow in influence and notoriety not solely so that I can live a comfortable life but to show others that they can too. Specifically the youth of my home islands of Trinidad and Tobago. I feel responsible for creating a way forward for those who have artistic talent but see no way forward. That whole event to me should have been prepared better. I truly do sympathize with everyone involved though. Even Travis Scott but I think if more concern was given to the gravity of the responsibility of an event of this magnitude happening during these times, more would have been done to safeguard everyone. Live not only for yourself. Sigh. All aren’t welcomed in the Valley but those that are, I believe, would embody that statement.
It’s crazy the amount of audacity and entitlement you need to have to feel like someone has to share their struggles with you. I actually have great friends that have never made me feel bad about withholding certain things from them. They understand that it’s not about them but about me and my readiness to share. I mean I also have requirements for opening up to someone but I believe that that’s normal. Some people enjoy being confidants and I get that but someone trusting you with their secrets demands some reverence and respect. Respect other boundaries. And know that caring requires a lot more than just an ask.
Depression tends to get the better of us. It’s almost like a spell bewitching your senses. Lulling you into submission. And it’s crazy how your mind tells you outright lies. These past two weeks I’ve been questioning where these thoughts came from because I couldn’t believe they were from me. I know I have people in my life that care about me. Why would I lie to myself like that? Must be the enemy. So I had to keep reminding myself that that’s not my reality. I am thankful though for everyone that was there for me. Makes me think of Adam. Hmmmm..
I’m ok. I feel like I needed to start with that. I’m struggling. Clearly. But I’m ok. I can manage, you know. It’s just crazy how much has happened within one year. And it’s all significant to me. The crazy part is I’m only highlighting the deaths but the manipulations, the friendships lost. The freedoms and liberties that’s been rubbed from us. Everything adds up to one hell of a shit sandwich. If I was to complain about it all these podcast episodes would be hours long. It’s a difficult time for us all because I know I’m not the only one struggling, but you know what? We have to keep moving forward. For me I’m doing this for my dad. When I go, the tank should be empty.
It’s not always easy to be open but everyone needs someone that they can be open with. A lot of individuals in this generation has trust issues. Hopefully me being open with you helps you be open with others. But yeah. Two weeks hiatus and I shall be back. Need to get out from under the thumb of this school and the burden of assignments. Later would be greater you know. Definitely not the end. Need to deal with some personal things as well. The anniversary of my dad’s passing is coming up so I don’t know how I’m dealing with that. Also need to go see my therapist as well. Need to do that personal work you know. Hope you guys are blessed.
Prioritizing isn’t always fun but it’s necessary. Burn out is a real thing and it can affect you greatly. The stress of trying to do everything you love or want to at the same time can also make things become uncomfortable and loose their enjoyment. So I’m taking a week to wrap up assignments and a second to decompress and I’ll be back on the dime for a season 3. Thank you all for listening thus far.
Frustration hits sometimes and I always look back to see where the root of the problem is and the answer is infuriatingly frustrating. I don’t know if any of you have ever felt like you’re loosing yourself. Loosing a part of you that you consider important to your survival. Oh the anxiety that I feel right now. I need to relax. This is how you get addicted to drugs. I hope that wherever you all are, you’re living your life to your liking and standard. Nurture your dreams. You alone know what they mean to you.
Guys excuse my outro. I tend to choke on nothing sometimes and that’s exactly what happened there, right after a brain fart. But other than that, time management. Very important. Know whether you’re a morning or afternoon person is important. It informs you at what time in the day it would be best for you to do the work that requires a bulk of your energy. If that work can be moved around in your day. Maintenance of balance can become a chore though for the less organized individuals among us like myself. So I definitely don’t give it too much of my time because doing so tends to frustrate and tire me out. Knowing yourself and your body is literally like half the battle. No one is master over time so don’t beat yourself up. Do your best. And pivot and add or change things as you go.
I guess a bad decision is one that lead to a series of or just an event that you regretted. There’s a lot of regret I felt about that day. Yeah here’s a lot of regret from that time period. I feel like I was needlessly dramatic honestly. That coupled with the abuse I had to suffer at home kinda led me to acting out in strange ways. This also happens when you don’t have proper role models. Granted I had my coaches that truly cared about me but I wasn’t open enough to take advantage of the wealth of knowledge and experience they could have shared. Actually I think I was closed off to it. I’m happy I’ve grown.
This should really be called into the lyrics. Or something like that. I like that. Kali n Cory was supposed to be be, in the hay day of its inception, a podcast where we talk about issues of the day like rap beef and different superstar follies. Also we would break down some lyrics or well invite artists to come breakdown their lyrics you know. It’s supposed to be a fun time. I do believe we’ll get to that though. We’re just working our way towards that I feel like but we’re quite content with where we are. Not rushing the growth you know.
Ain’t it crazy how easily we often find excuses? Too much excuses and not enough confidence. I think we just need to find our confidence a bit more than we find excuses. Doing that music video has given me a bit more confidence to now reach and at least try to do more of my own videos. If it doesn’t work out, then fine. I’ve only lost a bit of time but I’m sure I’ll have gained, at least, some knowledge. I’ll know what the limitations of my capabilities are and from there I can rework my vision or acquire the assistance I need to get what I want done. It’s truly an amazing feeling when you’ve accomplished something that you’ve thought for yourself was not possible. Just try. You’ll never know what you’re truly capable of unless you do. BreakDown is out though. On all platforms so go check it out. Definitely go check out my music video that I’m so proud of. And please, if you have an idea to do something, before you reach for your jar of excuses, reach for your confidence. Find a way to make it work and do it. It’s the best feeling in the world when you pull it off.
Outside acceptance is also a necessary part of life but self acceptance should be your first and foremost. Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself. Don’t take anything personally because at the end of the day those who’ve rejected you are just loosing out on the wonders that are you. We’re societal creatures so I understand the pull and want of acceptance. Don’t let that consume who you are though. We are all unique for a reason. Trust me, when you’ve accepted yourself and truly love yourself and you finally find your tribe, your people, and where you belong, it’s so much greater. You appreciate it more. If you ain’t the shit to no one, you should at least be the shit to you.
Communication is key. In your actions as well as your words. I also think we should leave space for people to grow. We are dynamic after all and constantly growing and evolving so that should be taken into consideration. Sometimes. Of course there are those hard pass moments where you need to step away from certain individuals, especially those who communicate verbally good things towards you but their actions don’t add up to that. In a perfect world we’d all communicate clearly to each other and be more forthcoming with the type of person that we are. This world is far from perfect though. The best we can do is invest the time necessary into getting to know someone completely. Trust can go a long way and I’m not knocking that but building trust through dialogue and actions. That kind of trust can’t be easily broken.
Came up from truly humble beginnings and I see now that we’re blessed. Yes there are days that we struggle but the comforts we have now are nothing like the comforts we could have afforded back then. Just felt like sharing a bit of it with you all. I have some stories from that time to. You truly get creative when you have to be your own entertainment. My nieces get bored very easily without their devices. We never had those so we’ve always knew how to make the best of any situation. Grateful for every step we’ve made in our journey though. You should be as well.
Dropping Oct 1st, 2021, BreakDown is a song to show our ladies just how much we love them. Letting them know that it’s ok to let down their walls around us because they are safe in our presence. We need to protect our women. Our Queens. And for that special lady in my life it’s letting her know that I’m here to cherish and love her no matter what and Break Down those walls myself if need be.
So this was more of a monologue than anything else, but this is truly how my brain works. Sometimes I tell myself stories. Just to keep me entertained. I did kinda grow up without a tv. And I bounce from topic to topic but they string together in my head and then I’m like, “wait how did I get here? Right!!! Being stuck.” I’m happy that my podcast has been connecting and I just truly want to continue to connect and uplift. I have to admit to myself though that I’m not always going to connect. That’s not what I started this for. It’s a part of why I’m doing it yes but it’s not the need I wanted to fulfill. Hopefully there was something in there for you though. I appreciate you sticking with me this far. 🌩
Live in the moment a little but do not neglect your momentum. See what I did there? Truly though, there wasn’t any resistance. I thought there’d be more of a struggle. Like I said before, I tend to believe that the world is against me so with dealing with this I was ready. I was so ready for a fight. I was armed and prepared. I was a bull charging at a fine China shop that opened their doors and had a straight path for me with nothing in my way to break. I spent all of 15 mins on the phone. That felt dumb. But I’m grateful for the experience though. I’m happy that I’m now at a place where I can take the next step. So yeah, if you’re ever knocked down just dust yourself off and try again. Maybe not that same day but tomorrow holds the world of possibilities. Let one of those possibilities be your success.
Energy is important. Energy expended over time is something you can’t get back. The time, nor the energy. You really should be careful of who you give your energy too. I have some friends that I grew up with and have never felt comfortable around really. Not fully. MJ said it to me in a voice message (that had me blushing all day) she sent after one of my episodes and I so hate that I can’t respond (or maybe I can and I just don’t know how). Yeah, she said she’s felt like an outsider for most of her life and it resonated with me. Greatly resonated with me. This is why I created HyerVale. Firstly so that myself and my best friend at the time could have somewhere to belong. He eventually found other places where he was wanted and where he belonged so he left the Vale (the Valley) behind. Literally said he wanted nothing to do with it. And that’s someone I did a lot for. That’s someone I thought would be around in my life for a really long time. So even that experience shaped me to being selective with my energy and time. I’m thankful for the tribe I’ve now become a part of. Tribes are my thing. I’ll do an episode on that later. Shoutout Merrique one time. But yeah, what have you learnt? I’m curious.
There are truly a few unique experiences on this earth. I tend to feel like TikTok is speaking to me. It is my “for you page” after all. I guess the algorithm knows me too well. But parents do teach us how we interact with the world, by teaching us through our interactions with them. From seeing their interactions with others and their interactions with each other. My dad taught me a great work ethic but he’s also the reason I learnt to procrastinate. You get the good with the bad like that. Now I’m unlearning some of these bad practices and trying to learn some healthier ones. Some other revelations are coming to me as I write this. I’ll elaborate in a later episode. Maybe. But family really can make you become super selective about who you give your energy to. I hope y’all are blessed and have people around you that deserve the good energy you put out and can reciprocate it. We all deserve good vibrations.
I want to start by saying that “not being ok” should not be the end. I’m saying yes it’s ok to not be or feel ok. You’re allowed but definitely don’t neglect getting help. We all need help. So even if you decide to “not be ok”, “being ok” is where you should be. I just don’t like that some people are made to feel worst about themselves because they’re struggling. Everyone has a struggle in life. Some get over much faster than others but it’s all a part of life. Don’t beat yourself up because you have been stuck. It’s ok to be stuck. Sometimes the process takes longer but whats important is sticking with the process. Stay committed to being better. You’ll get there.
So it’s new music time. I’m not use to promoting myself so a lot of this is new to me. I’m well out of my element and comfort zone here but thereafter no growth in comfort right. I definitely don’t like being burdensome so I like to avoid over sharing for that reason. I know how much unsolicited information or things tend to bother some people. You know what though. I just would like for everyone to give it a try. Just one. If you enjoy it let me know. Tweet at me. I’d appreciate that.
Scheduling and journaling. The power of writing something down. You wouldn’t believe just how empowering it can be. I know everyone these days are using their phones. Whatever works for you honestly. For me, I guess it’s a level of nostalgia. Having a book that holds the code to my day to day. Mmmm.. Yeah. That feels right to me. We all know ourselves best. We know what would work for us so you know. Do what works for you.
The thing about finding your Valley, your HyerVale, is that there’s always that choice to make another push. Reach a higher height. What do I mean? I mean that if you were to visualize it, life can be seen as a snow capped mountain that we ascend relentlessly. We climb and climb. Your “valley” is that space in the side of the mountain that has everything for you to rest, recharge and get comfortable. If you wanted to, you could settle there. Now don’t picture it as hole in the side of a big rock, you ruin the fantasy like that. View it as it is. A full valley. With a lake and cottage home that’s warm. A meadow to relax in. Little critters and creatures on about. Now that’s a place of true relief. True catharsis. Now, you can choose to be lulled away by the comfort of your valley or you can make another push and continue your climb. The choice is yours truly.
It’s been a great experience thus far and I’m thankful to everyone that listens in and share in this journey of self reflection. Just needed to create a schedule so that things can run smoothly and there wouldn’t be any overlap. So yeah. East Morning Moments episodes every Mon, Tue, Thurs, Fri day. Wednesday’s you guys can enjoy the KC’s Corner podcast with myself and Kali. We’re also 2 episodes away from the finale of season 1 of East Morning Moments. It’s been such a blessing. Thank you guys again for sticking with and going through this experience with me. Blessings, light and love to you all of you.
For me, not taking things personally is difficult. It requires you to take self out of the equation but for me I put a lot of myself into everything that I do. So, truly, how do I separate myself from my music when I’m so intertwined with it. Being impeccable with my word though. Yeah. Yeah. I got that. “You die by your word, that’s an authors fate”. Some of the truest words from Bas that I’ve heard. Honestly, it really was the comment because I’m ok being judged by the criteria. I’m ok being judged. But authenticity wasn’t part of your criteria so why is it a part of your commentary. I’mma not take it personal in a minute. Let me go off for now.
I made a mistake in the podcast. My dad passed away on October 31st, 2020. That’s why I’m not sure what head space I’m in. Gives me new perspective on the “every month is October” line. But yeah. My dad and I never did a whole lot together but we were close. He was one of my biggest supporters. Never judged me for what I did just showed genuine support and love. All without ever outrightly listening to my music. Father’s Day was really rough this year. I’m grateful though. I know that I may not have much but there are others who’ve had way less. I’ll hold onto the memories I’ve had with my dad. I know I’m blessed to have them.
I’m usually not one to tell people what to do but definitely if you’re struggling and feeling alone know that you are not. Sometimes our friends don’t know what we need. And other times they can’t deliver it when we need it the most. At times like that it’s also hard to stay objective as well but a therapist could help you through some of that. Or meditation maybe. I’m no professional and I’d like that much to be clear but I do know that a check in with yourself, your family members, your friends can save a life. Be kind to yourself. Look out for other. Love without limits those that you care about and who cares about you.
I think I said pretty much everything in the podcast. Not much more I can truly add besides to recommend meditation and the communing with oneself. You have to become aware of yourself and where you are to properly know just who you want to be and how far from that person you are. Keep your head up though. Luck favors the prepared.
Are there truly unique experiences? I cannot confirm or deny but I know now that I’d like to share more of my experiences with you. Also would like to hear some of your experiences. I may start a Twitter space for those who just want to share their experiences like I am. Either that or I’ll ask some of you to share your experiences through me on her. Gonna have to figure it out. Until then though.
Here’s the thing. I live on a Caribbean Island, islands to be exact(Trinidad and Tobago🇹🇹), and I know what it is to have a really hot day and not have water. Thank God I have a tank now but I’m too familiar with “heated messes” of days. Thankfully there are beautiful beaches and rivers you can go to on days like those. But imagine that “heated mess” amplified by, I don’t know, a lot. Granted the cold would probably kill you much faster but I’m ok with that. I can live with that. We also haven’t spoken about the water levels rising and covering the land masses. Would you want to survive on an earth that’s been engulfed by the ocean? If you have a big enough boat please consider swinging by and picking me up. I’ll bring coconuts. So yeah, tell me what you think. Which would you choose as your stage to survive or die on. At me on Twitter @cory_kayce. Choose wisely and may the odds be ever in your favor.
Certain experiences stick with us for a very long time. Learning to work through them isn’t always easy. Traumatizing experience especially. I spoke about the car accident I got into where I felt complete calmness but what I didn’t mention was how much I struggled with driving after it. The thought of loosing control and crashing was very present in my mind. My hands would shake and my palms became really sweaty whenever I got behind the wheel. I had to take it really slow. I remember talking to my dad about the accident. Before that I hadn’t told anyone about it. That day I felt better but the day after I was back to shaky and sweaty. It wasn’t until I opened up to my friends about it that it went away. Sometimes all you really need is a listening ear truly but I know that some people need a lot more than just a couple conversations. But yeah, I noticed that I was protecting my trauma by not speaking about it. What traumatic experience have you had, in your life, that you’re protecting by not talking to someone about it?
Paying attention to the time you spend is important as well. I think balance is what’s key. So yes, be rooted in the here and now but also know that actions have consequences and your future needs to be considered. I mentioned in the podcast that your DOB and DOP(date of passing) go on your tombstone as proof of your existence but another proof of existence is whatever you’ve left behind. Now I don’t want to cause existential dread for anyone. But do consider what you’ve done or what you can do, that can be left behind to enrich the future. All contributions are welcomed(like seriously. All). Big or small. Significant and insignificant. Interesting thing is I’ve always taken issue with the term YOLO but in this sense it’s oddly appropriate. I guess my issue with it is that it can be taken to some serious extremes. I’m a conservative guy you know. Shoutout to you by the way for reading through the description of the podcast and not just listening and moving on. You’re the true MVP. Thanks for being a part of this morning moment on the east side. Serenity.
That calm you experience, if you’ve experienced it, truly is a light for you to get yourself out of some dark situations. For me, it’s helped me get my friends out of a dark situation as well. What I didn’t mention is there was a river about 4 feet ahead from where we came to a stop. Thankfully, we didn’t end up in it. But after we crashed I was the only one with the clarity to do something and help my friends. I got cut by the glass of the windshield though. So not completely unscathed. I’m thankful for that light that gave me that calmness to deal with that situation. Oh and of course for protecting my face. I’m too good looking to be having a busted up face.
As I mentioned in the podcast HyerVale was created to be a place of comfort. Not everyone would be comfortable in the same place and that’s ok. Life as I see it is a mountain that you climb. The higher you go the more successful you are. HyerVale is where you decide to stop climbing. Where you decide, “ok I’m content. Let me appreciate where I’m at.” There’s a peace in knowing that you can achieve more but choosing to settle because you’ve proven all you had to to yourself. Some people die before finding their higher valley. That’s incredibly sad. And I guess that’s the true purpose of the brand. The clothes, the music, even this podcast is to get you to look around at where you’re at and appreciate it for what it is. Don’t compare your climb to anyone else’s. Just do the work. But also, don’t kill yourself looking up for your higher valley when it was always just around you.
Just sharing some of my thoughts. A bit of me. The East Morning Moments will be Cory KayCe uncut. No one to bounce off of. Just me being myself. Raw and unfiltered.