Therapy Works: Recent Episodes
Julia Samuel
Bestselling author and psychotherapist, Julia Samuel, invites us into her therapy room as she talks to both known and unknown voices about some of life’s biggest challenges.
Therapy Works is full of therapeutic conversations which may contain difficult emotions but those that can paradoxically bring light, in all its form.
Listeners will hear what the guests have learnt, failed to learn and how they have grown through their experience. At the end of each episode, Julia reflects on her session with her two psychotherapist daughters who will share their thoughts on the conversation. You’ll quickly discover that not all therapists agree on everything!
Follow @juliasamuelmbe
For those of you who don’t know Zoe Blaskey, she is the founder of Motherland, the host of the brilliant podcast of the same name and a transformational coach. For those that do know her I think you will be delighted by this open and honest conversation, from which I learned so much.
Zoe is a mother of two and openly speaks about learning to lean into what she was struggling with, which was every aspect of motherhood.
This conversation is full of nuggets of wisdom and simply a joy to listen to – in it we discuss:
- How to deal with big emotions - we might be brought up to believe we are ‘too much’ and block our emotions through many negative behaviours, but over time we can train ourselves to respond differently, by allowing them and even validating them.
- How change takes a huge amount of learning – whether it’s books, workshops, therapy and podcasts. Whilst the process can take longer than we want or choose.
- The emotional load of motherhood and what can protect us from burn out.
- The division of labour between two parents – how old systems can get played out unconsciously and now there is a NEW way – through the book Fair Play (see below for link).
- The power and gift of handwritten letters that we send or even write but don’t send.
- When we look at transgenerational patterns it opens up our understanding and compassion for our parents and grandparents. It has the ability to change our outlook and increases our level of appreciation towards them.
This is an episode that I think you can go back and revisit time and time again, you will see yourself in it, your children, your parents, siblings and partner. It will provide you with a new way of seeing yourself and others which might be empowering or a relief.
Find Zoe:
Website: https://www.motherkind.co/
Motherkind Podcast: https://www.motherkind.co/podcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zoeblaskey/
Link to the book, Fair Play: https://amzn.eu/d/cm9SuES
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Abi Morgan is the brilliant screen writer of huge films like The Iron Lady, Shame and the hugely successful TV series, The Split. She is also the author of the memoir ‘This Isn’t A Pity Memoir’ charting the devastating story of her husband’s illness in which she was ‘absolutely the same and profoundly changed.’
As someone who uses words as a profession, we discover in this podcast that Abi uses words to help her think, to make sense and connect, and to enable us to enter her internal world. Abi does this with speed and eloquence, so hold onto your coat tails and listen along with us as we dive deep into her whirlwind of a story.
In this episode we discuss:
- How trauma is truly devastating and yet how minutiae or humour can feel life-saving.
- That while we are in the crisis, which is relentless and frightening, we can’t truly feel or face it, often we deal with it in retrospect.
- How through her work Abi may have unconsciously been answering the puzzle of herself – maybe we all do this at some level?
- Why love is a live thing – it is communication and action, it is messy and annoying, and it can even be dead and then the profound revelatory truth, it can return. As Abi puts it, ‘Love is the flower in winter that says nothing.’
- The paradox of using artifice to find truth.
This is an episode that will marinate in your minds – it’s a true gem of an episode and incredibly powerful too.
Find Abi:
Instagram: @abimorgan9
Book: https://amzn.eu/d/2N6JlVj
Find Julia:
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
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Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Today I am joined by Jonny Wilkinson, widely known as the best British Rugby player of all time, who represented England and British and Irish Lions, and is famous for scoring the winning drop goal in 2003 at the Rugby World Cup Final.
We all need to hear this conversation as it challenges many of our fixed beliefs about winning and losing, control, success and freedom. Jonny broke through the chains of limiting beliefs and is someone who shows us that in order to do so we have to want to change and put in the work.
In this episode you will gain insights into:
- How wanting control can trap us – and surprisingly, it’s when you give up control that you are then empowered.
- Insights into winning and success, is thrilling in the moment and yet long term it can feel empty or it can be the thing that robs you of feeling like you are enough when you constantly chase it.
- Life is a process of moving towards our true selves, we never arrive at a fixed destination.
- The concept of plenty rather than insufficiency is a way of being in the world that is much less stressful.
- How powerful it is to look inwards and why we should all be asking ourselves questions like ‘who am I really?’.
- Becoming more aware that on a daily basis we are given messages that we are under threat and have to fight to survive.
This conversation with Jonny truly gives us life enhancing insights of how to both protect ourselves and yet remain true to ourselves in a place of compassion and calm.
Find Jonny:
Instagram: @jonnywilkinsonofficial
Website: @jonnywilkinson
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/i-am-with-jonny-wilkinson/id1610549437
Find Julia:
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This beautiful, moving and revelatory conversation is about loss and also of course, about love. Dr Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist as well as the host of the extraordinary podcast A Slight Change of Plans which was Apple’s Best Show of 2022.
In this episode we discuss:
- How to navigate a life full of unexpected challenges, particularly around fertility.
- We discuss surrogacy, a subject that is new and still relatively unknown to most and particularly the physical challenges of gestational surrogacy.
- How surrogacy involves creating a personal and intimate relationship with a stranger and trusting them with the responsibility of carrying their most precious being - their baby.
- How we can make our family from the people we choose to love.
- How Maya is thrown into the rollercoaster of hope and despair when it comes to fertility – as she says ‘everything in fertility humbles you.’
- Maya discusses the meaning of the loss of an early miscarriage, how utterly devastating it is, and how the small acts of kindness from others gave her forbearance to somehow weather the pain of it.
- How important it is to recognise in a world of fixing and toxic positivity that you can’t escape the pain of loss.
This episode is an incredible example of how listening to live, real connected conversations between two people who barely know each other and yet feel a deep connection is how we learn about ourselves and others. This is an inspirational episode — not to be missed.
Find Maya:
Instagram: @drmayashankar
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-slight-change-of-plans/id1561860622
Support links:
Miscarriage association: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/
Sands (stillbirth and neonatal death): https://www.sands.org.uk/
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If you want to hear someone who is crazily famous and who is totally unchanged by her fame then you want to listen to this wonderfully open and honest conversation. It is tender, funny, warm and wise. Evanna Lynch is best known for her role as the quirky Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter, she is also a podcaster, a supporter of animal rights and an author. She is an incredibly interesting woman that I know many young people will relate to.
Amongst the many interesting topics we explored were:
- Evanna’s relationship with fame – the unprecedented level of success she experienced, how she struggles to find a way to live with it and to still have a connected ‘normal’ life.
- How the depth of connection from having genuine deep conversations is far easier than small talk.
- Her passion, which is infectious, to protect innocence – in all things, animals, children, the environment.
- How we can drive ourselves mad trying to find an attributable reason for our negative, self-harming behaviours when sometimes there just isn’t one.
- How it is legitimate and normal to feel existential pain without needing to ‘do’ anything to fix it. It is also important to recognise that there can be times, that we need to address it, and the sooner we deal with it, the better the outcome.
- The power of small trivial things like chocolate to give us little moments of joy that can see us through a dark day.
Support links:
Beat: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
Find Evanna:
Evanna is currently starring in Under the Black Rock at Hackney's Arcola Theatre, head to the website to buy tickets here: https://www.arcolatheatre.com/whats-on/under-the-black-rock/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evannalynch/?hl=en
Find Julia:
Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off.
A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
My first conversation with Geraint John on this podcast had a big impact on you all. You were moved by his honesty and the psychological difficulty he faced for himself and his whole family when his beautiful wife Debs was terminally ill. This conversation is as heartrending, letting you know how he, Debs and his family have navigated her devastating loss.
This is a powerfully emotional episode which will help you understand yourself as a griever and the grief of others. You will see again, that grief is by no means tidy - it’s messy, chaotic but can also be profoundly beautiful.
In this episode we discussed:
- The complexity of talking about dying with the person who is dying and the tricky navigation of wanting to be protective and yet truthful.
- There is no easy way to bear the pain of witnessing the death of a partner and parent, it is hellish, and yet it’s important to have no regrets.
- The importance of the funeral which was both a performance and an intimate act of love.
- How to find a way of having birthdays and ordinary days when your whole life and the life of your children is irreversibly changed.
- Wanting a house full of love for the whole family, where the perception of what matters is forever changed, on the whole for the good.
Bring your hankies, cups of tea and hugs of others for afterwards.
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
Important links:
If you are in need of bereavement support please visit Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Please visit Child Bereavement UK if your children are in need of support: https://www.childbereavementuk.or
A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off.
A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Susannah Constantine is a former TV fashion guru (one half of the eponymous What Not To Wear duo), TV presenter and author. This conversation is full of therapeutic light bulb moments where Susannah begins to see something familiar in a new way. As you also might expect like anything with Susannah, it’s also full of laughter, wisdom and humanity.
Topics we discuss include:
- What we inherit from our parents.
- The difficulty of ‘putting on a show’ and how it blocks you from truly knowing yourself.
- How fear can hide behind a bravado and that sometimes the fear needs to be anaesthetised because it isn’t faced.
- The journey to recovery from alcoholism.
- The harm that lies do to us personally and how they start to create disconnection with others.
- The challenge of talking honestly to our children, wanting to both protect them from ‘our own stuff’ and also protect ourselves from their judgement – but it only builds up the walls between us.
Important links:
Susannah’s new book: https://amzn.eu/d/6TVR51Y
Website: https://susannahconstantine.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susannahconstantine/?hl=en
Support links:
Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/
Find Julia:
Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off.
A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Andrew G. Marshall is a well known marital therapist and I sat down with him to discuss the grief he felt following his father’s death. His understandings are rooted in his decades as a therapist and have a particular clarity I think many of you will find helpful.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How the death of a parent in old age is still a big psychological event and brings up many related losses which are often unrecognised.
- The power of the unconscious, how we can limit who we are and how we are in the world when we only focus on our conscious lives.
- For those with parents who are still alive, this episode is a timely reminder to have those important conversations before they die - don’t pretend they are immortal.
- Be patient with friends and family - allow time, space, commit, endure and try again if they are resistant.
- The power that rituals hold and how they can help us to move through the pain.
- Finally how, despite our fear, when we walk towards our pain that is when we can heal. It takes courage, but fear is exhausting and pervasive and this is a route to releasing yourself from it.
I won’t spoil the drama in this episode but suffice to say there are some big surprises - to do with wolves, rituals and tattoos…!
Support links:
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
Grief Works book: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/books/grief-works
Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Fear-Anyway-Indecision-Confidence/dp/0091907071
Find Andrew G. Marshall:
Website: https://andrewgmarshall.com/
Podcast: https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/
Find Julia:
Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Trigger warning - includes references to racial abuse that some listeners might find distressing
This is a fast moving energetic conversation which will at times stop you in your tracks. Trisha Goddard is an extraordinarily successful actress and television presenter. In this deep and emotionally revealing interview, Trisha takes us on a ride with courage and honesty. You will discover how she overcame enormous adversity and how she has finally found love and happiness at the age of 65 years old.
There is so much you will relate to. We discuss:
- How an intelligent woman who has tremendous insight and instinct professionally can be blind to red flags in her personal relationships due to early attachment issues.
- The racist abuse she experienced, which is both internalised and normalised in much of her life.
- How the political and social movement, Black Lives Matter, transformed Trisha’s own understanding of racism.
- How formative her schooling was. Education, reading books, and a couple of excellent teachers was her salvation.
- The emotional cost of the breakdown of her 20 year marriage.
- How her relationship with her two daughters after years of complexity evolved to be one of healing and closeness. They discovered the power of honesty, that the truth, as hard as it is, is curative.
- And finally the heart-warming story of how she found love and her list of 20 questions she asked him before she agreed to date him. What would your 20 questions be?
Important links:
Ten critical questions before embarking on a relationship: https://www.exeter.ac.uk/news/research/title_672700_en.html
Therapist Uncensored Podcast referred to by Sophie in episode; https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?i=1000593377798
Explanation of Dialectical behaviour therapy: https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402
Black Lives Matter UK: https://blacklivesmatter.uk/
Find Trisha:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealtrishagoddard/?hl=en
Find Julia:
Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This is an episode you need to listen to if you want to understand the experience of suffering mental illness. Yvette, as one of our unheard voices describes with stigma blowing clarity what it is like to live with mental illness. She suffers from bipolar disorder, depression and binge eating.
The first thing you will realise is that suffering from a mental illness is very different from having difficult feelings. It is a serious, life changing and often misunderstood condition that can be managed but takes a huge effort to do so.
In this conversation, we touch on:
- The mood swings of bipolar disorder, how seriously unwell it can lead someone to be and the scary nature of a manic episode.
- The way bipolar and binge eating influence each other. Yvette goes into detail about eating all her strong feelings - and how she expresses her anger.
- On how depression ‘tells you lies’. If you have suffered depression, or are close to someone with depression you will find Yvette’s description of depression illuminating.
- How being a young person entering a mental health unit can be thought of as shameful but how Yvette felt there was a fellowship and it was an important space outside of home that was curative.
- How ’suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem’. This is truly something to hold onto and we should use to influence ourselves and the other. Her story gives us all hope when life gets terrifyingly dark.
- Finally how choirs should be an NHS prescription and how curative singing can be to lift spirits and connect with others.
Yvette’s wisdom from facing such huge challenges comes from a deep knowing. She acknowledges that you don’t have to fix everything at once but just focus on one day at time. If you are suffering from similar feelings, just remember feelings are not permanent and you won’t feel like this forever.
Support links:
BEAT: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/
Rethink Mental Illness: https://www.rethink.org/
Find Julia:
Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self.
A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
There is so much to tell you about this fantastic conversation with Bryony Gordon. You will love it. I was gripped by her. She is a headlining journalist, with a column and features with notable public figures. She has written many brilliant books charting her life and in the process showing us what it is to be diagnosed with OCD, depression and addiction.
We discussed a feast of topics including:
- The pressure of expectations. We are expected to live happily ever after, and that in itself can set us up for failure. We looked at an alternative view of expectations during our conversation.
- The irony that successful people are often troubled, and how the push to succeed often means shrinking one’s true self. (I warned you we got deep!)
- We discussed how our childhood’s shape us, but that is not the end of the story, and nor is blaming. With the right tools and attitude we really can change our response to our childhood and vitally the way we parent.
- How hard it is to feel like you belong, how vital it is and how we can find our tribe in unexpected places.
- The madness of trying to have control, and the peace that surrender brings in so many aspects of life, addiction being one.
- The idea of perseverance is powerful. You fall, you get up you go again. It is in effect the definition of resilience, and acknowledges that piece we often forget, we all fall but it's the getting up and going again that’s difficult and vital.
- And finally how baffling life is but we can find strength in knowing ourselves, and having the courage to turn to ourselves with kindness.
There are so many layers to this conversation and I’m sure everyone will take away something valuable from this conversation. I’d love to hear your thoughts so please message me on instagram @juliasamuel or email therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com.
Support links:
OCD Action: https://ocdaction.org.uk/
Mental Health Mates: https://www.mentalhealthmates.co.uk/
Heads Together: https://www.headstogether.org.uk/
Beat: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
Find Bryony:
Column: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/authors/b/bp-bt/bryony-gordon/
Books: https://www.waterstones.com/author/bryony-gordon/55496
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bryonygordon/?hl=en
Find Julia:
Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this profoundly moving episode, Suzanne opens up about all the challenges that surrounded her mother’s death during Covid-19. Covid was an incredibly difficult time for all of us but the greatest challenge had to be the heightened complexity of a Covid death. Many of you will resonate with Suzanne’s moving story and the psychological difficulties the Covid restrictions imposed on all of us.
In this episode, we discuss:
- The heightened complexity of a Covid death and the mental toll caused by the restrictions.
- How we grieve for the future as well as the past.
- When anger contaminates all your feelings, you should turn to a 4 step tool to help you release it.
- Why it’s never too late to have rituals when someone has died - nor is it ever too late to mourn.
- Grief is held in the body and often feels like fear.
- While we internally acknowledge that we are mortal, we never acknowledge that we will all be bereaved at some point in our lives.
Support links:
Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Grief Works App: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
Grief Works Book: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/books/grief-works
Find Julia:
Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Dr. Rangan Chatterjee is a medical doctor who has translated his learnings from decades of experience as a GP into 5 best-selling books and his No 1 Health podcast Live Better Live More. I am a huge fan of Rangan and was lucky enough to be a guest on his podcast and can now call him a much-respected friend.
This wonderful conversation takes us into the personal process of Rangan the man whose biggest achievement is his unique journey which has now led him to pursue a more joyful and vibrant life.
You will find many ideas and concepts in this conversation that will expand your awareness of how you engage with your life, and with it, the possibility of positive change.
In this conversation, we discussed:
- The burden and intensity of being a carer in the family
- How authenticity and the intention with which we respond to events – by duty or genuine choice - has a huge impact on our emotional cost.
- How a desire to be the best can influence us and how being the child of immigrants who experienced racism informs our response and the need to perform.
- The radical concept of conflict as an opportunity to grow; to explore what is really going on and learn more about oneself. The foundation of which is trusting that we are innately enough.
- What triggers us as humans and how we react in the moment. Why do we take offence or choose not to take offence?
Support links:
Carers UK: https://www.carersuk.org/
MIND UK: https://www.mind.org.uk/
Find more information on Dr Rangan Chatterjee:
Website: https://drchatterjee.com/
Podcast: https://drchatterjee.com/blog/category/podcast/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee/
Find Julia:
Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/
This episode is sponsored by by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In today’s special reflection episode, we discuss our experience of working together as family and as therapists. As in all things therapeutic it is important to reflect on what we’ve done - good and bad so we can continue to learn and grow for the next season.
We discuss:
- The importance of stories and having a narrative in therapy.
- Why like therapy, it is a mutual benefit because we’ve gained and learned a lot from our guests.
- How we’ve been so blown away by our guests who have allowed us to have these private even intimate and therapeutic conversations in public.
- We explored the concept of self compassion as a resource to turn to when we are suffering as opposed self criticism which came through every episode. As Emily said ‘Don’t beat on yourself when life is beating you.’
- How much we value the relationship with our listeners and how thrilled we are that you are building a relationship with us.
We are so grateful to you for listening and hope you will all join us for season 2 launching in January!
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Christmas can be tricky even when we aren’t facing a particular challenge. And it can be extra hard when you’re grieving or going through other personal difficulties.
In today’s episode, the three of us discuss:
- Acknowledging that Christmas is always intensified as there’s always pressure to have to a perfect time.
- Why we all need to be realistic and recognise that not everyone is going to be happy all the time and that’s ok. It’s important to take the pressure off.
- Children have more feelings - tantrums as well as joy and why you should ride the waves of emotion.
- Allowing for difference - if you have new family members or friends joining you for Christmas then allow each person to introduce their own Christmas tradition.
- Why Christmas can be challenging in blended families and why great communication and clear planning can help.
- Grief at Christmas can be very hard - we discuss ideas to help support you through it.
- Tips on what to do if you’re spending Christmas alone
We hope that whatever you might be doing this Christmas, that it’s as happy as it can be and that you all have a brilliant end to 2022!
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
"Because her edict was to find that pocketful of happiness in each day. Feeling no guilt seems an incredibly generous and welcome gift to have been unexpectedly given by her."
Richard E. Grant is an actor, author and director who has appeared in over 80 films and television programs, such as Withnail And I, Star Wars and was previously Oscar nominated for his supporting role in Can you Ever Forgive me?. His beloved wife Joan died in September 2021 after a battle with lung cancer and in September 2022 he released a memoir called A Pocketful of Happiness mostly written in the last year of his wife’s life.
In this episode we discuss:
- How grief is influenced by the circumstances of death and how not having regrets is an important factor that makes the difference between a good and bad death.
- Recognising that the process of grief is an oscillation between loss orientation and restoration orientation.
- Why it’s important we update our understanding of grief, it isn’t about forgetting and moving on but remembering and connecting, sometimes with the pain.
- How the love for the person who you’ve lost never dies.
- Why you can experience guilt in grief and allowing yourself a pocketful of happiness can protect you against guilt.
- We discuss how men and women grieve differently, and explore the possibility of new relationships after a partner has died.
- We discuss the parent/child relationship, touching on boundaries, connection and what might be ok and not ok to share.
- How much of life is down to luck and the power of our attitude in our outcome; when we manifest and believe in ourselves and see the negative as a challenge to be overcome rather than something that defeats us.
- How important it is for friends to support us in pre-bereavement, when we are bereaved and how distressed one becomes when close friends don't show up.
Find more information on Richard:
Website: https://www.richard-e-grant.com/
Instagram: @richard.e.grant
Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pocketful-Happiness-Richard-Grant/dp/1398519472
Support Links:
Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Good Grief Festival: https://goodgrieffest.com/
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
Join a mission to transform one million lives and become a money coach: https://octopusmoneycoach.com/become-a-financial-coach
A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Claire’s son Chris was 13 when he was accidentally hit by a car on his way home from school which left him quadriplegic and unable to speak. This is a story that is both hard to hear, because we prefer to keep the reality of these devastating events out of mind, but also inspirational. Despite this tragic accident, Claire shows how it’s changed her perspective on life and taught her to appreciate what really matters.
In this episode we discuss:
- The importance of communication, of not struggling alone. It’s vital to allow yourself to feel and ask for help. People don’t know what you need unless you tell them.
- Why love is the strongest medicine. Claire’s love for Chris and the love she shares with her husband enabled them to build resilience personally and collectively as a family.
- The recognition that hate is a heavy contaminating burden to carry and how voicing her anger and resentment releases this.
- How we have the power to choose the attitude we take, despite being powerless in what happens to us.
- A severe life changing injury to someone in our family is devastating. It is a painful road to come to terms with such a massive loss. Whilst allowing the feelings we have in the present, it is helpful to acknowledge that feelings change, what we feel now doesn’t predict how we will feel in the future.
- How there are often other casualties in a family when tragedy strikes.
- The assumptions we make about disability and what life could be like can be turned on their head. We learn that Chris has a meaningful, important and worthwhile life despite his profound disabilities.
- Why faith can keep us grounded and that looking towards a higher power for answers can give us strength and meaning.
- How we can find strength despite enormous loss and how we will never know how strong we are until we are forced to discover it.
Child Brain Injury Support links: https://childbraininjurytrust.org.uk/
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
If you'd like to get in touch with the Therapy Works team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com.
A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!
Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“The shortest distance between two people is laughter"
My next guest is award-winning actress, Helena Bonham Carter. She is a total original, funny and wise, thoughtful, irreverent and utterly herself. In this joyous, meaningful and wide ranging conversation which had moments of great humour it was Helena’s inspirational wisdom that ran through it most profoundly.
In this conversation, we discussed:
- The big dilemma we all face in finding our purpose and the complexity of what makes us human
- How Helena won’t let difficult events defeat her but she “will make music of what remains”
- How we are all a multiplicity of beings and why it helps us to choose life and joy and not take ourselves too seriously
- The painful consequences of divorce, what helps and how it takes proper time to process these big life changing events
- The wisdom of the Victorians to wear black at painful times to honour the loss and let the world know “I am not my normal self”
- How singing can be a marvellous antidote to self criticism and shame
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
If you'd like to get in touch with the Therapy Works team, please contact us on therapyworkspodcast@gmail.com.
A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!
Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“Until you’ve been there, you don’t know what war is."
Yeva Skalietska is an unusual guest for this podcast, being a 12 year old school girl - but she has already had to experience many things that no child ever should. At a time when there may be Ukraine fatigue, this is a conversation that we all need to hear.
On this podcast you will hear how each therapy session has its own character, and this is an example of me not being my best self. I was uneasy and tried too hard which meant our connection was not optimum. However, above all you will takeaway:
- How important it is to be grateful for the things in life we take for granted.
- How hard it is for so many of us to picture the real horror of war.
- The curative power of journalling that both enables us to process terrible experiences and support ourselves to have a clear narrative of what seems chaotic.
- How one person can change the course of our life by making the right decisions for the right reasons.
- How we are at the mercy of forces beyond us, both good and bad.
- How faith and the belief in God can be sustaining and give us hope when our world is being destroyed.
- The difficulty of the meaning and word refugee, which can be imbued with shame and objectification.
- The power and vital importance of the place we call home which we may take for granted.
Yeva’s Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Dont-Know-What-War/dp/152665993X
Refugee Support:
Red Cross: https://www.redcross.org.uk/get-help/get-help-as-a-refugee/help-for-refugees-from-ukraine#Emotional%20support
Refugee Council: https://www.refugeecouncil.org.uk/our-work/mental-health-support-for-refugees-and-asylum-seekers/
Donate to support Ukrainian Refugees: https://www.actionaid.org.uk/changelives/rg/donate-to-help-refugees?gclid=Cj0KCQiAyracBhDoARIsACGFcS522gzkWUKhEvUmDMghlyBSgwUkDhWtr7_5fZ79dYkUxadGACT475IaArAKEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
Join a mission to transform one million lives and become a money coach: https://octopusmoneycoach.com/become-a-financial-coach
A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks.
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Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Trigger warning - this episode may make references to depression, drugs and suicide.
“I was dealing on and off with very bad depression, which I think in the early days leading up to my breakdown, I dealt with through drink and then I dealt with through this obsessive need and desire not to drink, which I probably replaced with an obsessive need and desire to work all the time.”
We learn most from hearing the truthful stories of others. We learn even more about what it is to be human when we get beneath someone's external performative self and learn what they actually feel on the inside. Alastair Campbell is a remarkable example of someone who has been powerful at the heart of the political world as the former Director of Communications and Strategy at 10 Downing Street and also owned and expressed his inner mental health challenges.
In this remarkably open and illuminating episode you will learn:
- The confusion between mental and physical illness. Because mental illness is invisible, unlike physical illness we find it harder to legitimise our mental states.
- How mental health isn’t separate from the system and society within which we live.
- The link between depression and addiction, and how it can be inherited.
- Why a breakdown can be incredibly painful, it might be the route to a break through and will allow you to develop better coping mechanisms for life’s difficulties.
- Why it’s incredibly painful to witness our adult children suffer and being powerless to help.
- The dilemma and boundary we face between self-care and selfishness.
- The wonderful illustration of the jam jar which triggered my Freudian slip and includes tools for wellbeing that holds back malevolent depression.
- The dilemma and boundary between self-care and selfishness.
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
A big thank you to our sponsor, BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!
Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Trigger warning - This episode includes references to suicide and physical abuse.
"I grew up around men that, you know, kind of spoke with the hands and not with the mouth."
In this incredibly powerful and moving conversation, David reflects on hitting rock bottom and finding hope in the darkest of times. Topics discussed in this episode include:
- How to overcame a violent childhood when one’s parent used aggression rather than words
- How hard it can be to be an authentic sensitive man when surrounded by toxic masculinity
- The idea that the cards we are dealt when we are born is down to luck but how we play them is shaped by our choices and decisions.
- Why the question is not why the addiction - the question is what is the source of the pain it is anaesthetising?
- Why we are constantly on the hunt for more and don’t know what we have to be grateful for until it’s taken away.
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Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
If you are in need of support please visit:
- https://switchback.org.uk/ - London based prison rehabilitation charity
- https://www.hardmantrust.org.uk/directory/ - finds support services for prisoners
A big thank you to our sponsor, Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens is offering Therapy Works listeners a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/therapyworks.
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Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
"Would they prefer a gay son or a dead son was genuinely a question that went through my mind more than once a day."
In this week's episode, I am speaking to the wonderful Mohsin Zaidi about the importance of belonging and the bitter struggle he encountered with his identity. We explore:
- The tension that arises when our core identities are different from what we believe they should be
- Why courage is something we must grow and it may take years to find the courage to be true to oneself
- How expanding our external world expands our internal world and may enable ourselves to inhabit ourselves more fully
- How secrets and lies can poison and destroy you
- When you despair, it's important to remember to be patient and to not put too much pressure on oneself
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Read Mohsin's book here: https://www.mohsinzaidi.com/
Important Support:
Stonewall - Support for LGBTQ+: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/
Mermaids - Helping gender diverse kids and their families: https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/
It Gets Better - A project to uplift and empower LGBTQ communities: https://itgetsbetter.org/
A big thank you to our sponsor, Better Help. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!
Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.
If you'd like to be unknown voice on Season 2, please send in a one minute video about a challenge you've faced to jsamuelpod@gmail.com.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“I know a few women, even in my circle, have survived sexual trauma. And they all go back to the same thing and they talk about the moment where they changed. It's not to do with what somebody did to them physically is to do with they they know when they when their sense of self shattered.”
Today's episode is both heartbreaking and heartwarming. I am joined by single mother, Jess, who opens up about her own turbulent childhood. This therapy session definitely brought up a lot of different issues surrounding family, the complexities of motherhood and the scarring impact of sexual abuse.
In this episode we discuss issues around:
- The impact of our parents choices on our mental health
- The devastating life shattering impact of sexual abuse and how the focus culturally has been the physical event but it can come in many forms
- How sexual abuse isn't always physical and can be subtle and can be harder to recognise
- The joy and complexity of having a baby and how it inevitably brings up our own issues
- The importance of community and how there are many diverse ways people can make a family
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Important links:
Support for people who are estranged: https://www.standalone.org.uk/
Support for sexual abuse victims: https://safeline.org.uk/
If you are an unheard voice and want to share your story, please email jsamuelpod@gmail.com.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“I feel like I always kind of longed for that family set up and I've got it. But although I feel loved and and I love my family, I've also kind of fallen into being a stepmum where I also sometimes feel that it's not my family.”
In this moving and revealing conversation Kate Ferdinand opens up on subjects that affect us all. This conversation explores:
• How her childhood shaped her and in particular her relationship with her father
• The complexities and joys of being a stepmother and we can have multiple loves all at the same time
• How love for those that have died lives on in the family, becomes part of the family and needs to be integrated by those joining them
• The difficulties of social media and why comparison is the direct route to misery
• Her own experience of miscarriage and why she needed to be open about it
• How she has had to learn that expressing difficult feelings can release her from old, hardwired patterns
• The notion that love is the strongest medicine
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Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
If you are in need of bereavement support please visit Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
A big thank you to our sponsor, Better Help. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!
Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
(Trigger warning: this episode contains mentions of illness and includes references to bereavement)
“A bomb hit us and yeah. I can't even remember really stuff before that, that was then and and this is now and that was a real turning point in our in our lives.”
In this searingly honest episode Geraint explores how to ‘carry on’ being a dad, a business owner and manage the day to day whilst Debbie, his beloved wife, is in hospital with stage 4 cancer.
We discuss the searingly difficult topics of:
- That seismic moment when your life changes forever
- The hard part of wanting to protect your children but learning how to have difficult conversations
- Knowing how to implement good coping strategies but learning how to admit to feeling helpless
- Learning how to appreciate the happy times despite the difficulties and how to survive when in the middle of a roller coaster life crisis
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513
Important links:
If you are in need of bereavement support please visit Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Please visit Child Bereavement UK if your children are in need of support: https://www.childbereavementuk.or
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“Life is an oscillation between being very hard and very good.”
In this first ever episode of Therapy Works, Julia Samuel is joined by Minnie Driver who touches on some fundamental challenges we all face in life and gives a fascinating insight in how to manage them.
In this conversation we explore:
- What we inherit from our parents and how that can impact our choices and outcomes
- How we can learn to live with our wounds but can never erase them
- How the loss of Minnie’s beloved mother has changed her outlook towards life
- The crucial importance of hope and how that tiny flicker of light that can help us survive when we feel we can’t
Julia’s Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/
Julia’s Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe
A big thank you to our sponsor, Better Help. If you’re thinking of giving therapy a try, BetterHelp is a great option. It’s not only convenient and can be done from the comfort of your own home, but it’s also affordable. All you have to do is fill out a quick survey and you’ll be matched with a therapist!
Visit betterhelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month.
Produced by Georgie Rutherford
Edited by Nick Kingswell
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This is Therapy Works: the podcast where Julia Samuel helps her guests confront life's biggest challenges. Launching on Wednesday 19th October 2022.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.