Hey Big Pancho!: Recent Episodes
Pancho Leiva-Lizana
The shy and frightened Little Pancho reaches out to Big Pancho -his confident side-, to tell him about his life, his feelings and emotions and how he is trying to be a better version of himself, in a very light and humoristic manner.
Taking a course about “How to be Confident”, ended up being one of the most valuable experiences of my life.
This course not only provided tools for what it promised, but it was a journey into our life and just by being ourselves, being human, we could connect more easily with others, in any situation.
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When everything is going well and I am proud of what I am doing, I feel that I finally deserve affection from others and from myself.
However, I always come across a situation that stops me from keeping momentum, or I feel that things are not going as well as I expected.
Feeling that moment of failure, in my personal life, implies stopping what I was doing for myself (as opposed to what happens to me in my work life).
But then again, I’d rather stop completely instead of keep on going, because if I keep on going, it would mean accepting a defeat and a defeat, it is not appreciated by others.
Perhaps that is the key ... not doing things for the opinion of others and doing things because you feel that they are the right thing to do, since in that way, my goal of feeling successful will only be mine and for me.
Is that, perhaps, how you should look at life at all times?
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As a result of the departure of two of my ex-partner’s friends. I have realized how important it is to rethink the relationship I have with the affections that I share with others - friends, family, coworkers, etc.
I have never felt truly deserving of affection, unless I am giving away some achievement in exchange for that affection. Affection is not related to simply being who I am and accepting that it is for that reason, why mainly, I should give and receive affection.
An invitation to participate in a project, just because I started with this podcast, makes me think that my voice is worthy of affection and my voice is me.
That same affection, I would like to give it to others, as part of this podcast. Attentive, which I will soon explain in a few episodes, how to use this tool to channel your thoughts and rediscover who you truly are in the inside.
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Yesterday I felt like I was trying to justify some sort of "failure" in my control of anxiety, and I feel now, that it was a mistake. There's no such thing as failure when you look at the big picture.
We all have good and bad days, bad days are triggered by something that happened recently, and beyond trying to feel all "normal" again, we should focus in accepting the feelings of anxiety, and analyzing what triggered them, that way more important than trying to escape from the feeling at all cost, so you don't feel like you're not in control anymore.
Remember that after a storm, always comes a rainbow!
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I'm going to be brutally honest. My anxiety came back this weekend, and since I had been doing so good over the past few weeks, I lied to myself, because I didn't want to feel like a failure, and I ended up, completely lost, not knowing what to do, who to reach to to tell them how I was feeling, because I didn't want to believe myself.
I feel embarrassed, because when the first symptoms arose on saturday, I could've done something, but I didn't. I was so embarrassed today, that I nearly didn't tell Big Pancho, but I finally forced myself to, and I'm thankful I did.
What am I going to do about it, before it happens again? That's part of the conversation I had with Big Pancho, so please feel free to listen, and see if it can help you too.
Love you!
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Being proud is feeling worthy of affection no matter who you are, who you love or what you've done. Being that said...do I really feel worthy of affection?
A hint: the answer is closely related to celebrating Pride. Shouldn't we always feel proud of ourselves? We should, but it's hard sometimes, especially if you are not aware that perhaps your pride was taken away from you, at a very early age.
"Am I Really Proud?" today on "Hey Big Pancho"!
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For us, anxiety sufferers, worrying about something in the future at the same time we're doing something in the present is everyday life. But, are we supposed to always feel that way? Wouldn't be life more enjoyable if we could be there with all our thoughts, feelings, sensations and senses?
It took me over two years to understand that being present is the key to well-being. Letting go of stress, or replacing that stress, by doing things that can take over your troubled mind, really connects you to the world, and to others, making life so much more enjoyable.
Today on "Hey Big Pancho", I talk about "The Importance Of Being Present"!
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Has it been difficult for you to start a task that is not work or that you are not going to do for anyone other than yourself?
Do you feel anxiety about not being able to do the things you want to do well and end up not even starting them?
Why do we feel lost when we want to do something out of love for ourselves?
It happens to me all the time and I think I have solved the dilemma for my case and I must do something to solve it!
Where does this feeling come from and what will I try to do to fix it?
Today I will travel into my mind for the conversation with Pancho Grande, called “Starting and Finishing.”
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I've always been told that I'm the family's "Grinch". But instead of Christmas, I'm known for not enjoying family meetings...and I just discovered why.
Last weekend, I had a family meeting, where I noticed consciously, how my mom attacked me and my sister in a very passive-aggresive way. Funny how now I can only tell this is a type of behaviour that's been going on forever!
But I decided not to be away from my family just because I feel attacked at every family reunion, I have a plan...
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10th podcast!!! I'm happy that I can share my thoughts with Big Pancho and with you!
Today's episode is exactly about that...are we really sharing what help us grow...or are we sharing what we are expected to share?
Are we misunderstanding the meaning of social relations because of social media? In a place where a picture or video of someone doing something admirable, gets immediate attention and affection from others, through a simple 'like' button.
But is our life always something admirable? What if we need to share not so good moments? Because, really, those are the moments we are mostly in need of support and affection from others.
Has social media, eventually, made us avoid social gatherings unless we feel we have something admirable to share? Has social media reshaped social relations?
All of this in today's conversation with Big Pancho!
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My mom used to show me affection only whenever she felt I was being successful in something she thought was important. Years later, that translated in my interpretation of affection with friends...If I wasn't successful, I was not going to be worthy of affection from my friends or a partner.
Having a horrible boss for the past 4 years, made me feel unsuccessful, and made me isolate myself from my friends, because I didn't feel worthy of talking to them.
How am I going to solve this? I made Big Pancho a promise...
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After the breakup, a conversation with a friend made me realize how much I tend to punish myself when something doesn't go according to plan, since I always tend to blame myself for everything.
Where does this feeling come from? You'll find out on this episode, but, guess what? Not from Little Pancho! A special guest took over the mic today, and is gonna let us know Little Pancho's story about his lack of self-worth.
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Victor finally moved out, and I believe I found out the real reason for this.
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Victor -my partner- is moving out, after five years together, and my friend Angie, wants to hang out for 'Tea' (and probably spill it).
Want to know more? Check out my latest podcast, called “The Tea” in the link in the bio! #podcast #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthsupport #anxietyrelief #happiness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #therapy #therapyforall #therapistofinstagram #healingtrauma #traumahealing #trauma #traumarecovery #healingjourney #healingfromchildhoodtrauma #abuse #abuserecovery #healingfromabuse #abusesurvivor #healingabusejourney
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Not long ago, I realized I needed a way to channel my thoughts, feelings and emotions out of my head (which is where they usually stay, driving me crazy, LOL)
But who would I talk about those things? I mean, nobody would understand my issues? right? Well...there's always someone you should share whatever's in your head, and that's YOU!
That's how this experiment came about, I found a safe place to talk about myself, unscripted, whatever comes to my mind, with a person that shouldn't judge me, and always love. ME!
If you would like to try to do something similar, let me know, and I'd be glad to help! =)
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Overcoming fear by facing it or by knowing what the real origin of it causes it? That is the question that many ask themselves and the answer depends on each one, however, being more than your fears and/or scars of the past is an act of love towards yourself and others.
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Have you ever felt that everyone rushes you to "forgive and forget" when somebody else has done you wrong? Have you noticed that by "forgiving", society thinks that you automatically overcame your problem? Is then, forgiveness overrated?
Well, the answer is not that simple, and I talk to Big Pancho about it, because it might be a little tricky to answer.
Hope you like this conversation and remember, if you feel you need to talk to someone, write me an email to heybigpancho@gmail.com, and we can set up a meeting! I'd be glad to help!!!
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After an argument I had with my partner, I realize how easy and often I tend to make myself believe that I’m always correct, disregarding other people’s feelings and emotions.
I also discovered why we tend, as humans, to try to fool ourselves into believing something in order to not see the reality and not get hurt.
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Little Pancho reaches out to Big Pancho -his confident side-, to formally introduce himself, tell him about who he thinks he is, how he sees himself, his story of living, his struggles, his successes, his emotions and feelings; all of them within the context of a certain topic, in a light and sometimes funny way.
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